#this is the only time i will openly talk about my ed here

[ungalobrando]

Why you should quit purging not tomorrow, not now, but yesterday.

CW - Some hard truths about living with this kind of ED/addiction. Forcing yourself to throw up, medical issues and dental problems included.

I never see anyone talking about this ED very openly, so I figured it's time to change that. From the viewpoint of someone who's trying their best to recover, but sucks at it.

My resolution for 2023 is to stop purging entirely, and this most was mostly made for myself, but feel free to use it for your own recovery if it helps you.

° It's highly addictive. I mean it, you'll be addicted to it before you know it. At the beginning you might say how? It's gross, and painful, and you hate it, but take it from me. I'm almost 5 years into it, trying to get myself to stop, and I struggle after every meal, even if it wasn't high in calories or whatsoever. There's always that thought in the back of my head, telling me that I simply could purge and I'd feel better. It's a struggle to force myself to stay near my family or friends after eating, or at least go for a walk until the urge passes.

° You will not lose weight. Your body is smart. If what you ate doesn't actually make you sick because it's bad or poisonous, your stomach will try to hold onto your food if possible. You will have to bring up great effort to expel it, it will be painful, you could bleed, you could get horribly dizzy, you will most likely cry, and even then? You usually only bring up only half of what you ate. Maximum. Regularly forcing yourself to throw up after meals slows down your metabolism. Your body desperately clings to everything it can get, like it's afraid to lose nutrients because of your habit. There's a good chance you will GAIN weight. And your cheeks become puffy from it.

° It ruins your throat and stomach. I developed Barrett Syndrome and GERD. I get stomach cramps and heartburn after almost every meal. There aren't many things that I can eat without experiencing pain for hours afterwards. Liquids hardly stay down which makes drinking water pure torture. If I have soup before bed, there's a good chance I could suffocate on it in my sleep because my esophagus simply doesn't close properly. I don't dare to leave the house without my hot bottle and my heartburn meds. It's NOT a fun life, AND it makes me want to purge EVEN MORE to cope with the pain.

° It ruins your teeth. The risks to your stomach and esophagus aren't enough to turn you off? What about your teeth, then? Do you like cavities? Do you like chipped teeth? Do you like painful, exposed roots? Inflamed roots without cavities? Inflames gums and sores? Root canals? Getting your teeth pulled? High dentist bills? Potential cancer? Your stomach acid isn't supposed to come out of your mouth unless it's an emergency for your body. Eating a few too many calories is NOT an emergency. After you purged, you should rinse your mouth with plenty of water, wait for half an hour, and then brush your teeth and use mouthwash if you can. Brushing your teeth immediately rubs in the stomach acids.

° It ruins your hands and nails. Well, it depends if you use your hands or prefer to shove objects down your throat. I usually want it fast, and I don't care about consequences in the moment, so my hands have to suffer. My knuckles are often sore from how hard I'm biting them, two of my fingernails are short and brittle, and the skin between those two fingers is extremely dry, no matter what I do. I often get inflamed nail beds. Oh, and even if you don't use your fingers, you can watch the object you use suffer from the consequences, too. Until one day, it falls apart in your hands.

° People smell it. No matter how much you wash your hands, no matter how well you rinse your mouth, food and stomach acid have a distinct smell and the people around you WILL smell it. The scent of vomit clings to your clothes and hair. It lingers in the air, and the next person who comes into the bathroom will KNOW. Do you want to carry the delicious smell of throw up with you? Do you want everyone to know that you shove your fingers down your throat? Your ED probably says YES, but ask yourself, do you really, REALLY want to be the person who always smells like vomit?

° You deserve better. A bit of a cheesy way to end this, but... would you want to KNOW, every time your best friend goes to the bathroom after eating? Would you want to know that your child throws up your lovingly prepared meals because they feel unworthy of them? Would you want to hear your parent throwing up every day and wondering when you'll have to start doing that, too? Do you want to count calories in the elder's home? Or ask your nurse how many calories are in your hospital food? Don't you think your life has so much more to offer than this?

[celluloidbroomcloset]

I was thinking about the idea that homophobia doesn't exist in the world of Our Flag Means Death. I think it's clear that this is not the case, but it is a more complicated issue than what we think of when we discuss straightforward homophobia, and is closely aligned with how the different worlds represented in the show perceive sex, love, and desire.

(Before I get going, I want to be clear that I'm discussing the world of the show itself, not the world of the historical Caribbean in the 18th Century. Our Flag Means Death primarily uses history as a useful lens through which to filter our own time period and the things it wants to discuss, and so only uses history when it serves the show's purposes. These are all just my thoughts - I'm always happy to discuss them!)

There are two major worlds at play in the show: the English gentry that Stede comes from, and the pirate world. In neither world is homosexuality explicitly treated as illicit or unacceptable, though it is never mentioned or shown in the English world. Most of the homophobia expressed by characters lies in the perceptions of the "right" and "wrong" ways of performing gender and sexual roles. I talked about this a bit here in regards to Izzy's homophobia.

In both the English and the pirate worlds, Stede's gender presentation is openly questioned. Stede is a fop - not necessarily a sexual marker one way or the other - but he's also, in the words of the show, soft. His father labels him a "weak-hearted, soft-handed, lily-livered little rich boy" who has never done a "man's work," blanches at the sight of blood, and is only inheriting his power from better, more masculine men.

Within the world of the show, Stede occupies a role typically reserved for female characters, in which he's sold in marriage to build his family's wealth. His romantic desire to marry for love is knocked down; it doesn't matter if he loves Mary or she loves him, or if there is even any desire on either side, because the whole point is to unite their wealth and produce heirs to carry on that wealth.

In Stede's memories, the shift from getting married to having children is instantaneous. Sex is implied, but it barely exists for him - it was simply something that he had to do to fulfill his part. Again, this casts Stede in a role often reserved for female characters in fiction. The function of sex, in the English world, is procreation. Desire hardly enters into it, and love certainly doesn't. So it is likely that Stede's only sexual experiences are ones without desire and without love. They are simply to fulfill a function.

Pirate society is significantly more open when it comes to expression of sexuality, but it is still steeped in sexual roles and requirements. Stede's outward queerness marks him out, but it's his inward queerness and how that integrates his emotional core that makes him unacceptable within the masculine hierarchy represented by Izzy and Calico Jack.

I've gone into Izzy's toxic masculinity and hatred of Stede's gender presentation elsewhere, but to reiterate briefly - Izzy's biggest problem with Stede is that Stede does not occupy the correct gender role within the masculine hierarchy, nor does he occupy a properly defined sexual role. He is, in Izzy's view, supposed to be submissive to a dominant male, and he's anything but. He breaks the rules of piracy and he breaks the rules of masculinity, without seeming to be aware that there are rules to break (at least in the pirate world). Stede is "wrong" in Izzy's understanding of masculinity and homosexuality, just as he is wrong in the Badmintons'/his father's understanding.

It is Stede's breaking of those rules that attract Ed to him in the first place. He doesn't act like a pirate should. He's strange. He's off-script. He's...queer. That queerness draws Ed in - far from being repelled by it, as Izzy thinks he should be, he's fascinated by it. Stede's softness and gentleness are things that Blackbeard should either reject or attempt to dominate, and he does neither.

What comes out in Stede and Ed's interactions is that Ed himself doesn't just desire softness, but is soft himself. Beneath the masculinity he puts on, he wants to be touched with kindness, he wants to be embraced. One of Stede's first questions is if he "fancies a fine fabric." When Ed says he does, Stede doesn't laugh at him or view this as un-masculine. He shows Ed as many fine fabrics as he can, excited to finally have another man with whom to exchange this love.

Ed also wants to be submissive without being hurt. He gets Stede to stab him in a performance of sex, but the act implies even more than that - that sex and pain are closely related in the pirate world, tied to sexual roles (men who penetrated and men who are penetrated). But Stede, once more, is a gentle man who penetrates. He doesn't see the stabbing as a sexual act, nor does he get a sexual thrill from causing Ed pain. Ed submits to a man who cares that he's being hurt, and it is this softness that Ed wants and is, as yet, unable to ask for.

(It is notable that, when Ed recalls the stabbing in "Fun and Games," his main memory is of Stede's look of concern.)

The role of sex, love, and desire in the pirate world is made clearest with Calico Jack, far and away the most explicit representation of a pirate's toxic masculinity, who also highlights the reading of sex as about power and pain, not love. Calico Jack and Stede's conversation is the first time that sexual relationships between men is actually raised, in explicit and vulgar terms as Jack asks Stede if he and Ed are "buggering each other" and tells Stede "Blackie and I have had our dalliances."

Jack views Stede's response as being ashamed, but we see clearly that it's not shame but anger. Stede doesn't like who Ed is with Jack, and he doesn't like Jack's vulgarity, simplifying sex, and especially sex with Edward Teach, down to pure functions, not expressive of love or desire, just as they are in the English world. Jack's attitude that this is simply what men do to (not even with) other men when they are at sea, and he's proving his dominance by telling Stede that he's done it with Ed.

Stede is not ashamed at the assumption that he and Ed are having sex, but angry at the implication that sex between them would be "buggery" and "dalliance," not love (and, what's more, that Ed would be treated as a thing instead of a person by another man).

Stede's queerness is part of his emotional core - it is not a whim. It is not something he can discard or mask, regardless of how he dresses or behaves. It is not something that just "goes at sea," or that can be reduced to functions. It is integral to himself, and so he's been completely unable to conceal it from being perceived in either the English or the pirate world, though he has tried very hard to conceal it from himself.

Ed has also tried to conceal the emotional reality of his queerness via his performance as Blackbeard, turning it outward as violent games between men, without softer emotions. It is with Stede that his own emotional core is revealed, and the big mean pirate is shown to be a man who wants to be held and touched, to be submissive without being shamed or harmed.

They allow each other to be vulnerable, to move beyond their worlds' insistence on sex as being purely a function and to unite it with love and desire. Their romance develops out of friendship and a powerful emotional understanding that claims softness as strength.

Neither Stede nor Ed are acceptable in worlds dominated by toxic masculinity and controlled by rules of masculine hierarchy and power. But they are acceptable on the Revenge, filled with a crew of the "worst pirates in the world," all of whom openly, and increasingly, express fluid gender and sexual roles and identities that shift with relationships and feelings. Both are aligned with the queer liberation of the Revenge, itself shaped by Stede's ethos of kindness and breaking the "culture of violence" of piracy, but they have to break out of their worlds' underlying homophobia to find their way to each other.

[iruiji]

Aight imma just let it out this one rq because I can't concentrate on my SAGAU and I need a new baby to adopt-

Not proofread or beta-ed because I'm just a lowly peasant who ✨does not know how to do things properly✨ lol

Honkai Star Rail.

Wasn't really a fan of turn based games, but okay. Downloading it was easy enough, but hot damn you did not expect it to heat your phone like mad.

But anyway.

You started this game out of curiosity, even before you joined the subreddit for it and see the different husbandos/waifus that instantly garnered your attention. Seems you're keeping this one and droping some $$ as well, because, alas, the character designs are too good!

So you start the questline, enjoying walking around as Kafka and using her gorgeous ultimate, and awing at Silver Wolf's ultimate as well (because you play Osu! and appreciate that reference).

Then came your turn on picking the Trailblazer - which, actually took you a few minutes, with Silver Wolf and Kafka talking back and forth with how much you're taking your time.

"Ladies, we must choose carefully, alright? Calm."

You didn't really noticed when the voices stopped abruptly as you lament on who to choose. And after a few minutes, you finally have chosen your own Trailblazer! Greaaat.

What's not so great is Kafka and Silver Wolf leaving. Awww, seems like they're not your comrades on this journey.

And then screaming the next moment because March 7th pulled Dan Heng away from giving you a kiss! Well, granted it was CPR, but come on!

With a pout on your face, you marched on (heh) to finish the first leg of the questline - which involved fangirling at Dan Heng slipping his dead eyes at that one scene and cheering the squad and then Himeko joins the team and then saving March 7th and then defeating the Dragon and then Nanook slipping in and then Welt saving the day! Phew!

You silently watch as the scenes unfold after choosing to board the Astral Express, deeming it would be long enough for you to eat a snack and pressed autoplay.

- - -

Meanwhile, at the Astral Express, the atmosphere is a bit.. suspense. Partly because of what happened back at the Herta Space Station, but mainly because the gaze are still on them.

Aeons are.. godly beings, in more simpler terms. People know about them (mostly), but the information they hold on some were.. inadequate, that people doesn't even know what some looked like - and if there are even others beside the main ones they don't know about.

And this one- they can feel it. This Aeon is new.

The.. warmth it gives off made it vastly different - say, from Nanook - which felt like this intense second of hot shiver that crawls at your back. But this one- this one screamed comfort.

Quite frankly, it just made some of them even more tense because they don't know how to deal with this kind of situation. A glance from an Aeon? Many people have experienced it, but the gaze actually lingering, following their every move?

Unheard of.

As Himeko gave Welt a questioning glance, he just shook his head and started explaining some things to the Trailblazers about what happened at the Space Station, while Dan Heng simply observes the surroundings more attentively. March 7th is still tense, but the Trailblazer was just confused.

"Someone's here."

March 7th nearly toppled him over when she blocked his mouth with her hands. "Ssh! We don't talk about them here!"

The Trailblazer only gave them a look of confusion, and then Welt spoke in a hushed tone. "Please, be more careful. We don't know who or what they are after, so acknowledging them might only give us unnecessary attention. So for now I ask that you do not speak of them so openly unless they, hm, show that they want contact with us."

Still confused, they can only nod in surrender. It wasn't really discussed after that, but the gaze lingered.

For a very long time.

Even when they reached Jarilo-VI.

Welt and Himeko contacted them and after confirming that, indeed, the gaze followed then onto the frozen lands, told them to be more careful now that another Aeon is watching them, and continued their journey.

That is, until, someone under the snow caught their attention.

The Trailblazer initially tried to walk away, but his senses are screaming at him to walk towards the lump of snow, and, deciding he doesn't want to be smote on his place, proceeded to try and talk with the person underneath.

Only to be met with silence.

Huh, okay. What now?

Suddenly, Dan Heng froze from his side, and then suddenly kicked the pile of snow.

"Ow!"

And Sampo Koski enters the frame merrily.

"LMAO SAMPO THE FUCK?! HE RAN AWAY!!!! OOOHHH HE IS SO GONNA GET IT!!!"

March 7th seemed to agree with you, because when the battle with Gepard started she threatened to strangle him when they see him again and you agree! Damn, asshole Sampo! And to think I trusted you!

I mean, not really. But still!

And then after that you decided to speedrun the whole Belobog questline: from meeting Cocolia and the weird voices, RP-ing in the cabinet about the Hallway Demon (best part, fight me), and then meeting Bronya before the squad went underground and meeting Wildfire and Seele.

You lament on your seat because you decided to skip her for Jing Yuan, but that's alright. At least you can borrow one for farming.

Then the game finally, finally showed the struggle of the knights (poor Geppie), and helping Serval with closure (althought the actual closure didn't happen until very much later). And then finally fighting Cocolia and-

-you nearly dropped your phone in shock when the Trailblazer got stabbed in the chest.

It was quiet.

The Trailblazer opened their eyes to see a dark place littered with different.. memories..? And as they start walking by and hearing them, they realized the gaze was on them this whole time. They tried to talk to whoever the Aeon it was, but was stopped when the child at the dreamscape beat them to it, and then they felt warmth as they were granted power.

They almost felt a warm hand on their back, as if pushing them to go on and continue.

It seemed intent on saving Belobog, and that aligned with their wish to save the city which holds the last bastion of Jarilo-VIs' humanity as well.

So they did. They all did. Together.

- - -

LOOLLLLL I LITERALLY JUST- okay yeah this went waayy different from what I intended to do, but I'll settle with this for now. Imma focus on the headcannons later. Omg lol. This is just literally me word-vomiting. Idk how tf lore accurately this is but oh my god I already forgot some of the scenes so I'm sorry. If you have like comments or other thought, the comment section, my asks and DM is open.

Aight, cya!

Edit: lol forgot to tag @channelinglament @01011111 @amimo3

[skrifores]

I have seen the point being made that you don’t have to be in a romantic relationship for some behaviour to constitute domestic violence. I’m seeing this said with regards to Our Flag Means Death and what some people perceive as domestic abuse on Ed’s part - that him not being romantically involved with Izzy shouldn’t mean behaviour between can’t be considered domestic abuse.

It is an excellent point that in many places, the definition of domestic abuse isn’t restricted to intimate partners! It is often widened to consider any violence, coercion and emotional harm taking place within a home environment. Under this definition, children can be victims of domestic abuse by their parents, it can occur between siblings, even roommates - especially with a live-in landlord situation. And of course, the Revenge as well as being a workplace is ultimately where the characters live.

I think it’s very clear that the show is a workplace comedy about pirates, but if you want to apply the definition of violence, coercion and emotional harm within a home environment to your reading to the show, that can be done.

Of course, I would be surprised if you genuinely view it that way and still made it as far as even watching Season 2, given the way what you consider to be domestic abuse in this fictional setting happens so very often with little to no moral consequence, and is often intended to be taken as a joke.

I mean. In the very first episode, the crew talk about killing Stede, and begin to plan for this, including lighting him on fire.

Jim threatens Lucius and actually physically locks him in a small wooden box in the second episode for what seems to be quite a long time.

I think in 4, Izzy pulls on Fang’s beard and it really upsets him. He also talks pretty openly about the intention to kill the Revenge crew, though I’ll let that go at this stage since he doesn’t really live there so much as being there for the purpose of murdering them and stealing their stuff. Still, poor Fang, that looked like it hurt.

While we’re on Izzy, he does also actively try to kill Stede by stabbing him, and he then he goes and does the olde worlde equivalent of calling the cops on him on the intention of having him executed, which seems pretty fucked up on the ‘violence’ part of our DA definition but also hits pretty hard on coercive control since he’s doing this to get Ed to behave differently.

He does prevent the Navy from executing Ed, which is nice, but he does point out that he regrets this, which, ouch, emotional harm. If we’re doing real world definitions, “I should’ve let the cops I called on you murder you” is the sort of thing that would make me feel pretty fucked up. And we all know what it means when someone tells you to watch your step.

But it’s not all about Izzy! (It’s really not, guys, there’s a whole TV show here!) Buttons bites Lucius - who ends up needing the whole finger gone! And he’s a visual artist!

Even my darling man Roach tries to eat the Swede, and I’ve gotta say, I don’t think they were on that island long enough to justify murder.

And who could forget Mary?? Wonderfully written character, love her, but, she does with malice aforethought attempt to kill her spouse in his sleep with a skewer. She was right to do it, in my opinion, but y’know, even without broadening the definition beyond partner relationships, murder of your spouse is pretty classic domestic abuse.

So, y’know, the point I’m getting at really is that if your definition of domestic abuse is violence and control wherein the perpetrator and victim share a significant aspect of their lives like living space - that’s a fine definition in real life. It is the one I use, in real life. But if you apply it to Our Flag Means Death, I really don’t understand how you stomached watching the first season or why you came back for more.

And if you only apply this definition with regards to Ed’s behaviour, but not the rest of the characters, I do wonder why that might be.

[mystycalypso]

I'm gonna go on a mini rant here.

TW: p3d0ph1lia, and child s/@

God, I shouldn't have to put a TW like that on a blog where I post Hello Neighbor content with my bff, but I need to just- let off steam about this because it's something that seems to happen every time there's a franchise centering around kids facing a big bad adult where- people assume that said big bad s3xually @ buses one or more of the minor characters.

A main big example of this is obviously FNAF, with the P3d0philia William Afton being popularized by PinkiePills with her comics to the point where a large chunk of the fandom believes that it's canonical. Despite that not being the case.

The example that has pushed me over the edge to talk about this today is Theodore Peterson. I have been worried since Episode 6s release that people were going to claim that Peterson S/@ ed Nicky. And today, low and behold I see a post (not gonna name drop them for obvious reasons) saying

"At this point it's obvious what Mr. Peterson did to Nicky" with the teaser image tinybuild recently posted

Now, at first my autistic ass said, "...What?" And I couldn't figure out for the life of me what they were referring to because I mean, we don't even know when this shot is from

Then I open the comments and see people talking about whether or not it was infact s/@ . I know I said I was expecting and dreading this, but it still shocked and bewildered me because- there's genuinely nothing in the show that actually makes it seem like this.

Thankfully, a lot of the comments were openly disagreeing with this idea and sentiment. But- I need to discuss why it's a problem to me, ESPECIALLY with this franchise, which I've already explained is very near and dear to me.

But good FUCKING GOD, especially with WTRB

THIS IS A KIDS SHOW

Is WTRB able to go much darker than most kids' shows because it isn't run on tv or owned by a network? Absolutely. But would TB go that far? FUCK NO.

I've seen this person using moments from the show like this

To call Mr. Peterson, a p3d0phil3, and I need to clearly explain the purpose of this image. It is to show the power he has built in his lies. Trinity witnessed Mr. Peterson kidnap Nicky before her own eyes, but he has built up such a persona as this pathetic old man in the town that even when she can see behind his lies and see his actively horrific behavior, no one else can.

We see this same back and forth in all their interactions in episode 5. From the moment he offers cookies based on Nicky's goggles to the framing of him looming while her parents work the printer. He believes he has won and can flaunt it because there is no one in Ravenbrooks who believes these kids. No one even notices or is suspicious of Nicky going missing in the first place.

And if Trinity was also an adult or even if Mr. Peterson was say- a woman this wouldn't be coming up or a theory/hc. It is only because Theodore is an older male antagonist.

Now, why is this a problem? Why do these hcs and theories urk me so much every time I see them?

It adds nothing. All they do is make the story "edgier" and "darker" in a way that's so- flat and dimensionless. There's nothing gained by saying "oh Nicky was s/@ ed" if anything you have taken so much from the actual story of Hello Neighbor and the themes of feeling helpless to the horrors you see going on around you. You're not taken seriously as a kid, especially after doing something others see as a slip up like Trinity or by not being the model student type like Nicky. You're young and can see through the lies of others easier but no one believes you.

Not only that, but the supernatural theming of Hello Neighbor is lost because of this. The Guest, The Thing, the Cult, everything is lost or disregarded all to make the series dark on a very surface level.

I'm tired of actual themeing and good writing getting thrown to the wayside for hcs that do nothing for victim representation and do nothing to add to the story and I say this with utter genuineness

If you believe in these p3d0 hcs and theories, do not interact with our work.

Kaydin and I are both VIOLENTLY disgusted by the things we saw written by that poster and by the comments agreeing with their sentiment and we don't want to be associated with the parts of the fandom that twist the series that way.

Thanks for reading.

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

So overall I don't like the OFMD Reddit. I've tried to create a post about why narratively I felt S2 didn't work ignoring the Izzy stuff, one only about the Izzy stuff(since there are very few Izzy-focused fans on there), then another talking about Olu/Jim/(Archie/Zheng) talking about why I was disappointed in it. If it's a negative post, moderators won't approve the post to go live. Which I don't love. But okay, if you want a positive echo chamber to offset Tumblr and Twitter about this season, sure.

I still check it out of curiosity when I stumble across this GEM.

We've had quite a bit of time to debate this. Almost two years, and this was posted 11/15/23. Yes, the OP was very kind (I agree that Ed thought that Stede was cool cause he beat Izzy, and was a new pirate on the scene. Then once he realizes how dumb the crew is the plan springs up into place), and I'm not hating on them specifically. Just that some social media places are just still at this point.

I blame a large section of the fanbase for not EVER reading any Izzy POV meta. Who are now scrambling to go back to rewatch S1 knowing what we know about Izzy now.

If you want to see all the responses, ranging from those I agree with to those that are just wild, let me know, I might put the link in the comments my favorites range from. 'Blackbeard wanted to but Ed didn't' to the usual Izzy is a superhuman being. To 'ALL THIS WAS JUST TO KEEP IZZY ON THE SHIP'?

Do they not see how INTERESTING the dynamic between Ed and Izzy is? That their relationship is giving and pulling at just the right times? Izzy trying to maintain their shield and Ed desperately trying to find a life where he doesn't hate himself? Both of them DON'T REALLY WANT THIS-Ed being openly suicidal to Izzy keeping his head down and working- living day by day- each NOT talking about their issues.

That hiding behind the Blackbeard name is the only way they'll survive? That killing Stede Bonnet could genuinely give Ed the out he craves. Izzy could then Captain a ship full of a crew that (theoretically) already fears and respects him?

[Not that Izzy would be good at it, or even want to be away from Ed, but you get my point. This was a *change in their lives* that is VERY tempting to two men who have been in survival mode for YEARS-

Also, it's very obvious Jenkins didn't plan Izzy's character out, so Izzy wanting to captain to me can just be written off as Jenkins not knowing the character yet, since he NEVER PAYS THE SCENE -WHERE IZZY IS FLATTERED AT POTENTIALLY BEING GIVEN TITLE CAPTIN-OFF (cough cough Izzy could have been the captain/first mate S2ep8)...moving on]

If Lucius didn't stumble in, Ed would have killed Stede here. He was aiming for a fatal spot in his neck and actively swinging down, I couldn't find a gif and had to take a photo on my phone, but you get my point.

Ed then realizes that not only was he willing to kill a guy who, overall, had been very kind to him, but then gets the Kraken as a reminder that he HAS killed. That he's spent his entire life killing to put himself into a better spot. Slowly rising up the ranks, and it's never been enough to keep him happy. Be it his dad, or fuck, even killing this rich dude and stealing his identity.

~BUT NO~

Izzy is SO EVIL guys, Ed doesn't want to kill Stede! He just has to pretend to be violent in front of Izzy so Izzy doesn't mutiny or leave him!! Doesn't that TOTALLY make sense? Ed's struggling since he never wanted to kill Stede, and he's struggling with the 'order' Izzy gave him!!

[Ignoring how Ed wanted to help him retire in the first place, how Izzy nudges Ed to follow the fisherman thing, and how Ed wanted Izzy to *stay* in the first place.]

The reddit is FILLED with takes like this, btw. Sorry if it seems like straw-manning, but I can find the posts if you need them.

[voidpacifist]

strap in, assholes, I've thought of another Deaf Steve AU for your consideration

(ps the steddie on this one is very brief, I haven't thought that part out too thoroughly just yet)

this takes place in like, early to mid 2000s

so in this universe, there's no catastrophe, no major physical traumas, no sickness, etc. steve is simply born without his hearing

his parents are not only rich, but are also super super concerned with appearances and because they're negligent assholes about it, they get steve fitted for hearing aids as soon as he's old enough to realistically begin talking

the hearing aids really don't do much for him, but the harringtons don't wanna worry about more surgeries or medical stays or being held back from their business trips/work holidays. you catch my drift. they forego the cochlear avenue but still hold out hope that steve will be "normal enough" with the "help" of a pair of hearing aids

and because the hearing aids only give him back so much, his oral language skills develop differently and at a much slower pace. it's not that he doesn't have the intellectual capacity — he absolutely does, the setting he's in just doesn't accommodate his needs

I imagine by the age of three or four, a nanny starts staying with him during the long weeks that his parents are gone. I also imagine that one of these nannies knows Sign and sees steve drifting without any communication that's suited to him, so they take it upon themselves to teach him

this goes on for years until one day, there's a phone call or an in person message or something that indicates that mr and mrs harrington have been in a traveling accident. this leaves steve parentless

he's immediately put into foster care, and from there, things go downhill. he gets into fights at school, becomes distant at each new place he stays at, and continues to isolate himself. he develops a very stubbornly independent approach to things, teaching himself to sign, speaking up for himself even if he can't hear how alien he sounds to the other students or adults at school

he keeps going from home to home until he lands at the home of tim and marissa buckley. marissa teaches a special ed class at a local middle school, and tim is a general contractor. they have three kids — a girl named robin, who's a year younger than steve, and twins dexter and benjamin

and steve is shocked by the patience of the parents, and also shocked by the fact that mrs buckley seems keen on connecting with him. the rest of the family is also learning Sign, but steve latches onto marissa the quickest because she reminds him of his nanny

tim ends up being the one who takes steve to most of his audiology appointments, or just other places he needs to be, and though tim doesn't know as much Sign as his wife, he still tries to cue steve in on conversations. just small talk about school or what steve likes to do or just "boyish" banter

dex and ben don't interact with steve much outside of bugging him to play like,,fucking kickball in the backyard, but they still form a tentative bond

robin is the hardest nut of the bunch to crack, and steves not too determined about actually becoming friends with her. in fact, most of the time, he's just waiting for the other shoe to drop with these people so he can be spat out again to the next family until he's kicked out of the system for good

even when he's getting his act together, he's still just waiting for it to happen. soon like four months have gone by and there's still no sign of the buckleys kicking him out or announcing that another family would be "better equipped" for him

here's a fun fact though: middle school kids are really fucking mean. and robins one of the only openly gay people in her grade. steves heard rumors that she's been bullied, but then he sees it happening in real time and he just. is seeing absolute red about it

he seeks out the fucker who graffiti'd her locker and lo and behold, gets into another fight at school

he's so Sure that this is the breaking point, but after his suspension is declared, marissa and tim sit him down not to scold him, but to wrap his knuckles and tell him how proud they are that he stood up for robin

and speaking of robin, steve's cool status with her just tripled easily. they start to become so close that at school, gossip starts that they're an item. one day someone flat out asks and robin, while signing, just says, "oh no! he's actually my big brother."

(if steve cries about that later by himself, that's his business)

there's still one dilemma steve has yet to get over though, and that's passing eighth grade. the constant moving and fighting has finally caught up to him, and he's forced to sign up for peer tutoring

this whipsmart, firecracker of a seventh grader, nancy wheeler, not only agrees to learn Sign, but also to help steve pass his classes

he's so fucking in love with nancy its not even funny. but the more they hang out, the less he wants to be with her and the more he wants to just be friends with her. plus, he doesn't miss the way robin ogles nancy when she thinks neither of them will notice

may/june rolls around and steve ends up with solid Bs in most, if not all, of his classes. he's on track to staying on track and the buckleys are ecstatic about it. marissa and tim find a cake at the grocery and have it say, "congratulations steve!" on it in big, loopy writing. they sign it to him as soon as he gets home from his last day of school for the year

after the weekend comes and goes and the celebration dies down, the two sit steve down and his initial thoughts are, "oh shit, my stay here is over." which majorly sucks, because the buckleys are the first family he's stayed with in a while that he's actually enjoyed staying with and getting to know

he's bonded with robin. he's bonded with ben and dex. he thinks maybe the same about marissa and tim. and he really really really doesn't wanna lose that. because not only has he come to think of them in a sort of pseudo-family sense, but they also have done and continue to do so much to accommodate steve and try to help him thrive and have resources as a young, deaf kid

so you can imagine how elated he is and how surreal it feels when they ask him flat out how he'd feel about being steve buckley. about officially being their son

years go by, until steve is in his senior year. he and robin have frequented several jobs together already, and this is the first year they've let go of their overprotective sibling instincts with one another and have gone to separate venues of work

steve ends up working part time at the library, while robin ends up at the video store

and one of steve's classmates from school (who he's 99% sure is redoing senior year) comes in pretty often. they don't talk at first, but every night, steve comes home and vents to robin about this really pretty classmate of his who plays in a thrash metal band and has far too many overdue fees

(and, if we're considering the library au, maybe steve pays off those fees and eddie ends up asking him out)

((like, he takes the time to learn as much basic Sign as he can within like a week of time, and the pulls steve aside after the library closes for the evening and just flat out asks))

robin is cautiously optimistic about this new guy that steve has a thing for, but she also knows eddie from drama club, so she not only has a good radar for the kind of person he is, but also knows exactly where to find him if he fucks things up with her big brother

cause listen — steves not immune to having experienced not-so-good encounters with a hearing partner. she's seen the way he or his deafness have been treated like a burden or a commodity, and she's very much hoping that's not the case with eddie

spoiler alert: eddie's very visibly autistic, so he knows what it's like to have been treated in a similar fashion. he has no plans to be that kind of an asshat to steve (and he very much is not)

but yeah long story short, give me deaf steve with a healthy sense of family and a willingness to be cared for thank you and goodbye

[thisisthinprivilege]

ANONYMOUS PLEASE <3 I’m at my wit’s end with my mother. I wanted to complain about her fatphobia, and I also wanted to you thank you for how reading here has helped me and my sisters. 

I’m a small fat in my 40s. I’ve been a bigger fat, and I’ve also been very, very skinny. I developed anorexia at about age 6 due to the usual issues one develops that from and was thinner than thin until I finally started to actually recover. I got very fat very quickly on the drugs I was put on, then dropped down in size to small fat once I stabilized and didn’t need them. No idea what my “comfortable” or “natural” size would have been without so much damage, but I’m going to guess “about this”, since it’s what I am when I’m neither restricting to the point of heart damage, nor on drugs that also made me sick in many other ways. For me, a comfortable size is the size I have when I’m not actively altering it in ways that hurt me, so I’m not going to question it.

My next younger sister, however, is a bigger fat, and pretty much always has been. In her 30s, she’s fat in a way that does restrict her clothing options and employment (she once told me that an interviewer had given her “feedback” on a job interview, and it was that she looked “sloppy”. She was wearing perfectly nice, clean, pressed, professional clothes- and expensive clothes of course, as that’s the rule for bigger clothes as we know. She was just fat in them.) Being “healthy” doesn’t really matter to this - and indeed if it did I wouldn’t have half of this rant - but she is. Fit and strong, great at physical things like endurance sports in a way I never have been. She is also perhaps the most self-aware and level-headed person I have ever met about stuff like this. When what people say bothers her, she will discuss her feelings and not try to hide them or their impact, but she will also deconstruct, and conclude that what the person has said is stupid. So it’s like she neither tries to pretend she’s immune to harm, nor allows others to be right in hurting her. 

And she eats exactly what she wants, and since we’re both autistic this also includes pickiness on sensory stuff - she doesn’t eat what she doesn’t want to, and does eat what she does. She was a great person to be around during my recovery, even though I never even mentioned to her at the time that I was in it (I didn’t tell anyone in my family about it until years later,) just because she made food such a non-issue. 

And our mother will not shut up about her size. Our mother is also fat, we’re a fat family, but my mother decided years ago that I am the one to make my sister “address her weight.” I literally left the country to get away from my family (not related to this specifically) and she STILL emails me about it. I don’t respond to those emails. I DO have lovely chats with my beloved sister on Skype though. 

I have tried all your scripts with my mom before - the team here have SO many great scripts that have worked wonderfully for me in other situations, like work or friend groups. I have told my mother I don’t agree, many times backed up with sources (sources thanks to you!) I have told her I’m not interested in the conversation and have hung up or walked away when she has persisted. I’ve called her out when she tries it on in public on multiple occasions. She will not stop. She is convinced that my extremely wonderful, fit and thriving, very happy sister is at death’s door. She’s also convinced that I, a person who has been repeatedly hospitalized for ED and the mental complications that caused it (which she now knows all about, and in fact did visit me in hospital the last time I was in, which was only a few years ago by the way) am the person to talk to her about it and make her see the error of her ways. My sister and I talk quite openly about this, and we’re both agreed our mother is full of shit and we’ll both be ignoring this. We both have also decided to persist in having a relationship with her, though with BIG boundaries around it. (Trust me, this fat bullshit is the thin edge of the wedge with her, and we’re both VERY exacting about when we will talk to her and what about. But we also both love our mother, and she’s the only parent we have.) The thing I’m most struggling with I think is that as I said, our mother is also fat. I actually feel some real sympathy here as I’m aware she’s clearly projecting her own issues on both of her daughters, but god is it mean. She couldn’t see how sick I was when I was skinny, even though I was very literally beginning to die (in fact, all she had to say to me was to mention my weight when I got fat) and she can’t see how happy my sister is in her life, because she’s fat so can’t possibly be happy, and she’s still, now, as perhaps some last gasp of control, attempting to make us fight each other over it. 

It hasn’t worked, thankfully, and it never will.

My mom has many other issues, I’m sure, but my god, it is sometimes quite astounding to look at what hell fatphobia hath wrought on my mom’s psyche and ideas of being a parent. I’m grateful my sister(s) and I instead read blogs like this so we’ll hopefully pass a lot less of this on. So I guess this rant is half a complaint and half a thanks. It’s been really helpful to be able to come here and read, for both of us (and our younger sisters as well, who we are steadily converting), to remind ourselves that mom’s wrong. My sister is fat and an exceptional person. I’m fat now too, and the world didn’t end (and in fact actually got a lot better.) Our mom is just plain fucking wrong.    Anyway, thank you. I know you’re not planning to be as active with new posts lately, but please know that you’ve been wonderful this whole time, and keeping your archives up is of immense help to at least this one group of sisters. It's been awesome to relay one of the younger ones to an older post from time to time (actually quite a few times!) Note: I wanted to tag ED as I do mention it but I don't see it in the list of tags under submission. I tagged "trigger warning", "Weightloss", and "food" to hopefully cover it. 

Apologies for the first post of this.

[rae-raewrites]

Sorry. I meant to say pegging all four Arkham Riddlers. Origins, Assault on Arkham, Arkham City, and Arkham Knight. 😅

Hcs? For absolutely having fun with the best boys? Nsfw? Oh my tell me more~

Arkham riddler pegging hc’s

Warning:minors DNI 🔞 includes pegging,begging,just a bit of humiliation,dirty talk,it’s Eddie so praise

Origins

Initially thinks your joking

You reiterate your not,he’s a little internally panicked

So their you had him,all needy on HIS bed,hard and blushing. Perfect

Lubing him up down their gives you a taste of how shy he is about this

He tries to to not whine that first initial thrust in to him but he simply can’t help himself.

Apart if him is telling him this is demeaning

Another is telling him this is wonderful and he should enjoy every minute of it

His much smaller ego finally gives in when you’re whispering in his ear what a good boy he is

“You’re my good boy aren’t you Ed?” “Mhm”

Just watching him grip the sheets for a little bit of anchoring makes you go in for deeper thrusts each time

His release absolutely was worth it.

He starts absolutely demanding it when he needs to get work done at home. Something to make his boring work more exciting.

Bending him over his desk at home is 100% recommend

AOA

It was idea that hit you at least a week ago when you two were indulging in each other.

So when you started to get into it again you brought it up and genuinely he seems a little surprised such a thing was something you’d be up for.

But then you get him all vulnerable and leaning on his desk

And the gasp he lets out would make anyone purr

One of genuine pleasure as he starts leaking pre from how enjoyable it is

He practically starts demanding you go rough with him

Swore you can see little tears as your more patient thrusts happen

“D-don’t stop! Please?”

Practically starts begging for it all the time. And here you thought you’re the one supposed to begging for him.

Arkham city

Initially he’s fully against,saying how he’s a top dog in gotham blah blah

But when you start teasing him down there the idea doesn’t seem so bad……..

Of course pain makes him apprehensive at first

But then you start finding where he REALLY likes it and all of suddenly he’s a little submissive brat begging for more

Loves when you make him anticipate that next thrust

Of course he’ll still want to be the more active player in both your pleasure romps but he’s willing to let you take the steering wheel sometimes……if you deserve it of course

“Fine I like it you naughty minx,what do want? An award? You’ll get no participation trophy from me! Oh-!”

Only for you to shut him him up all over again

Arkham knight

Months of working on race tracks and electric pressure plates left the poor man stiff and sore all over.So when you suggest taking the reins for an evening he’s apprehensive.

So used to being the dominant one for months on end and yet you suddenly thought you had the ability to do something better than him. Made him laugh out loud at first

But then you remind him how a genius should be praised in every way~

Turns out washing the bed,getting him into and nice warm bath and praising him to the moon and back is the best way to get him up for the idea

Of course dealing with getting bruised and scratched leads him to have a much higher tolerance for that first initial thrust than he thought

But then he starts keeping those eyes closed as he becomes a moaning little mess.

“Ah ah. No looking away baby, I know you have that photographic memory. It’s always done so good for you before~”

“Oh please my superior processese could be better spent doing something far more-“

Only for him to let out another desperate moan

After that evening he made it a point of it possibly occurring again if you really behave and actually help him get his conundrums ready.

He’d never openly admit it but it’s nice to be taken care of sometimes~

[whinlatter]

author's note | chapter 9: wintering ❄️

thank you so much for reading chapter 9 of beasts. in this chapter, ginny goes home for christmas, back into the fold of the family that anchored the anti-voldemort movement now grieving the loss of a brother and a son - and finds it's tougher to keep secrets from one harry james potter than she might otherwise have thought. this was a tough chapter to write, and one i cared a lot about trying to get right. so - let's have a chat about it (and a little sneak peek of chapter 10)...

✨ spoilers for this chapter below the cut  ✨

writing notes and headcanons:

writing: this is the first chapter where i’ve strayed from the chapter plan and shunted scenes to a future chapter. i ummed and ahhed about it, then remembered no-one else knows what the plot is and what this chapter was supposed to be, then got a grip lol. lesson learned - if it’s hard work and it feels like you’re trying to force it, you probably are, so chill out lmao

this ended up, then, as a chapter about families. we see the blacks, the order itself, andromeda and teddy’s new little unit, little glimpse of the lovegoods - and the possibility of new families, most obviously in the case of bill and fleur’s baby on the way. at the core of this chapter, though, are the weasleys, this openly political family of freedom fighters, first family of the resistance, and a family thoroughly scarred by war. i’ve talked a bit about this elsewhere, but i have always been so struck that the weasleys enter the narrative as add-ons to ron, harry’s mate, but over the series increasingly become the core of the entire anti-voldemort movement, with a history of resistance and also of grief and sacrifice (fabian and gideon). so this chapter spends some time with each member of the family, a little panorama of the weasleys eight months on from the battle to see how they’re all coping (or not). it was really really important to me that each family member’s grief and emotional state got a moment in this chapter. partly this is because i think that writing character-centric fiction shouldn’t neglect attending to the broader emotional context of the ensemble around a character, but also because each family member is quietly showing ginny the different ways they’re all responding to fred’s death in ways that might get her thinking about who she feels most similar to and who her family needs her to be. that bill is the only family member who answers ginny’s wish that her family would talk about fred more and stop avoiding saying his name was deliberate. with his parents struggling so much, bill is clearly stepping up as the person to look after his family. he’s aware of his own emotional responses, he’s discussing his own grief, but he’s also looking to the future, making plans for it and trying to improve the world he’ll spend it in, even though he knows  it’ll be bittersweet. it was important for me to have ginny to have that behaviour modelled to her from someone she singularly admires.

space: as the plot of ginny looking back and processing a childhood at war progresses, i wanted to draw together and quietly contrast two spaces, grimmauld place and the burrow. these are the two headquarters of the order of the phoenix, two family homes, two sites of familial rupture - and, now,  two places equally haunted by the ghosts of people who once lived there and who are now gone. writing this chapter i did a lot of imagining the communal spaces in both residences kind of as a set for a play with ensemble characters walking on and off stage at whim, which actually made the whole thing much easier when i was freaking out about having too big a cast for one chapter lol.

harry and ginny: see here!

molly weasley: my real soapbox issue for this chapter is that molly weasley’s grief really, really matters. i know molly is rarely anyone’s blorbo. she’s increasingly hated in certain corners of the fandom (check the most kudos-ed fic tagged under molly & ginny lol) and even among those people who like molly, lots of postwar fics focussing on different characters’ pics have her just sort of return to normal, get back to fussing about the house and the kids’ relationships and careers in her mumsy way. i do get this: it’s hard to want to give a lot of time in a fic to a (usually) tertiary character’s grief rather than the protagonist’s, especially when everyone is grieving, and molly is an often convenient source of either amusement, nuisance or even antagonism in hinny fics (many of my own favourites!) for her (seemingly) conservative views on sexuality and her busybody behaviour. but i’ve never subscribed to this in my own headcanon as a canon coherent choice, simply because canon is very clear that molly weasley’s worst nightmare is the death of one of her children, and that nightmare happens. (in fact, it’s even worse than she imagines in the boggart, because even in her worst nightmares she didn’t imagine one of the twins dying and not the other.) while i absolutely do not want to relate this fictional loss to the real life experiences of friends and family who have known terrible loss, it was important to me to try and write an alternative version of molly that centred her grief in a way that felt plausible and true, and acknowledged that the loss she and arthur have endured is one that would change them enormously.. truthfully, i don’t think either character would ever really be ok again (which why grief is so hard to work with narratively - it offers no neat conclusions or easily legible arcs of healing).over the past few months, ginny has been worrying about a very teenage set of worries re molly, stressing about her mother’s response to her losing the captaincy and poor school performance, thinking she might get a howler, gearing up for a fight over whether harry can sleep in her bed - only to get home to find her mum has fallen apart. narratively, i wanted ginny to see her mum like this, and to finally start to understand why her mum was so insistent on her being a child and having a childhood and keep her away from the war that ginny was so desperate to fight in. 

the other point here, and i do feel strongly about this, is that for a fandom very interested in how families, loss and trauma during wars shapes characters (marauders fics are some of the richest best explorations of these themes), i worry we don’t care nearly enough about what molly weasley goes through, and about how women respond to their grief in complicated and nuanced ways. as @saintsenara has pointed out, the lack of attention paid to molly weasley’s backstory and grief over her brothers, and especially her grief after fred’s death, smacks of misogyny. perhaps molly’s frumpy mumsy unchic domesticity fretting about her children’s grades makes her not a cool enough character to care about her pain: perhaps it’s that she beefs sirius, everyone’s traumatised fave (and a character i adore). but i do really care in this fic about offering a rendering of molly that shows a possible way she would respond to fred's death, now seeing in her children the grief she has lived with already for so long, no longer able to return to the person she was before. i think molly weasley is a person who understands how their awful world works and tries to encourage her children into a path that will provide for them with material security and offer chances to do meaningful work towards reform. and while you can disagree with that as advice to her children, i don't think that worldview invalidates her right to thorough, compassionate treatments in fics and analysis as a character who is so very loved and special to harry. molly weasley is the only person who demands these children have a childhood and we should not forget it!

andromeda: ahhh man. ok this chapter i learnt people writing andromeda are really strong soldiers because i tried like 30 different characterisations until i found one that didn’t make me want to gouge my own eyes out. she couldn’t be too warm, because she’s a) a black and b) canonically wary of strangers and quick to be offended/insulted (ted’s the gentle one of the two of them). she does have to have a certain domesticity to her because tonks mentions her knack for household charms, but couldn’t be overly mumsy, in contrast to molly, because tonks clearly was drawn to molly’s mothering instincts (early HBP kitchen scene) in ways that suggest andromeda’s were less obvious. i wanted her to be a proud person, someone polite but wary, self conscious (and self critical) of her own particularities and mistakes as a parent, who has a working relationship with harry but not a maternal one, and who would probably be a bit suspicious of all these teenagers playing with teddy, who is now the centre of her world, lest they drop him on his head or stand on his baby toes. i imagine ginny and andromeda having a cordial but eventually slightly fractious relationship - 'girlfriend of the teenage godson to my orphaned grandson' is a weird role to play in a person’s life, after all. i can see ginny reminding andromeda of the daughter she lost, and it was fun to draw that out a bit here (andromeda immediately kibboshing the broomstick idea as a case in point).

relatedly sirius: finally getting to begin using some of my sirius scenes now we’re at grimmauld place 😈 i’m really excited about the plot to draw in the memory of sirius in this fic, and so it seemed right to begin bringing him in in a chapter about families, generations (mothers!) and what living with trauma and grief after war can do to a person. we see him finally arrive in person in a flashback to the day the weasleys arrived in his house, freshly reconfined to grimmauld and sullen because of it, but also being perceived by ginny and the weasleys as someone with great presence. he becomes the subject of a great deal of interest and hero worship by the twins and ginny, with only ron (following hermione) noting that sirius black does not seem to be a well man. sometimes in fics the (understandable) impulse to focus on sirius’ good godfather traits can be taken a bit too far with authors overstating how warm/inviting/interested sirius would be in the parade of weasleys who move in with him at a very low moment for him personally. i liked having sirius being sort of shrug about their arrival, having only the briefest moment with ginny where a commonality between them (the betrayal of a brother) is identified but saying nothing about it. sirius black is in no place to reassure someone about sibling estrangement. ginny, in her approach to sirius, tries to position herself in opposition to her mother, apologising for her with an eye roll kind of vibe, and raging at her for excluding her from the order meeting when no one else was. she also expresses empathy with sirius’ plight of being confined for your own protection when you really want to fight and have your revenge (👀). meanwhile, in the present, harry and ginny wake up in sirius’ childhood bed, spend the day inside grimmauld watched on by paps, and the ginny goes back to her own family home, where she throws herself into christmas planning and prepping to try and raise spirits and distract from all of the shit going on, à la sirius in ootp. (i’ll finish that sirius and ginny meta before the next chapter i swear). 

dolohov: me, a few months ago, realising that the man killed fabian and gideon prewett also killed remus

percy: so far in beasts, percy has come up only in passing - unfavourable press coverage, and on the board in graves’ classroom, part of the machine that sent muggleborns to azkaban and some, in all probability, to their deaths. lots of brilliant brilliant fics (some rec’d below) explore percy plausibly as a resistance agent working within the ministry, but i’m always a bit suspicious of this reading, given his line in the room of req  (‘it’s been coming on for a while, but I had to find a way out and it’s not so easy at the Ministry, they’re imprisoning traitors all the time’ - this doesn’t sound to me like a road to damascus moment the second scrimgeour died, does it? when exactly did you realise you'd fucked up perce? like babe you’re the assistant to the minister - how many people did you help imprison, given the muggleborn registration commission was up and thriving within a month of the ministry takeover?) i think, whatever the extent of percy’s resistance (and there will be more on this!), it’s clear that ginny, of all of the siblings, would probably be the least likely to forgive percy. it’s not just that the decisions he makes are so far from her own, or that his treatment of her parents was egregious, it’s also her loyalty and ferocious protectiveness of harry, who percy royally fucks over at every possible turn with little remorse. (he doesn’t engage with or apologise to harry in the room of requirement!) ginny wasn’t there with percy when fred died like ron was, an experience that i think would help ron decide life’s too short and make a cordial peace with percy. i think ginny would want percy to feel a hell of a lot of shame before ever warming up to him again. i like percy as a character, i think his arc is so good, but i also find satisfaction putting him in the corner at the weasley christmas with old xeno, stood with the other guy who should have done the brave thing and didn’t.  just because your family tease you doesn’t mean you should commit war crimes!

teddy: me writing this chapter like 

the order: the interaction i have in this chapter between lee and ginny, over whether the order beat voldemort, is my attempt to get something i have been thinking a lot about without much resolution, which is (partly) what does the order actually do, but also how do the order think about the end of the war when it turns out they kind of were peripheral to the effort of winning it? obviously they did some things, and order members obviously fought in the battle, but the order actually were instrumentalised by dumbledore into a bigger plot that involved harry that he kept them in the dark about. i think it would be very weird for the order in the aftermath of war to think about what their efforts really meant when their losses are huge and their accomplishments minimal, other than helping keep harry alive at times - and weirder still for ginny, who was never old enough to join and was kept at arm’s length from the soldiers’ table only to find out those soldiers didn’t really matter anyway.  no profound takes just curiosity on my part, but very interested if anyone has any takes on this!

ron and hermione: very sorry to the lovely anon who just asked about hermione — saying nothing for now but what do you think’s going on there! weird innit. a real mystery. if only someone would tell us

harry’s kitchenware collection: what’s up with that hmmmmmm

songs on the playlist for this chapter:

i listened to a lot of choral music for this chapter - ofc christian symbolism is all over the series (can't move for it), so was leaning into that a bit (lol), and the little church by the graveyard in godric's hollow with the muggles inside on christmas eve has always struck me as a very beautiful and sad image, so i was trying to channel those vibes too a bit in this chapter (ginny and bill listening to the carols in the village in the garden, and the view from molly and arthur's window of the ottery st catchpole church spire). my favourite is the holst arrangement for lullay, mine liking, a fifteenth century carol originally in middle english, which has these very tender lyrics that are about the infant christ but also work painfully well for molly's grief: lullay, mine liking, my dear son, my sweeting.

lullay my liking (arr. holst) by the godley singers | hey, ma by bon iver | gregorian chant for the dead by aurora surgit and alessio randon | 7 o'clock news/silent night by simon & garfunkel | i don't like my mind by mitski | this is me trying - the long pond studio version by taylor swift | should have known better by sufjan stevens (i mean - my brother had a daughter/the beauty that she brings - illumination. perfect no?) | hope by james newton howard (i have a lot of songs from the soundtrack to terence malick's incredibly beautiful film a hidden life on this playlist, because that film remains a real touchstone for the visuals i'm imagining for a lot of this fic but also a lot of the vibes of family and resistance)

reading list: 

on percy (loads here):

dawn is coming, open your eyes by dialux (an all time fave) The Last Something That Meant Anything by Anonymous (TW for sexual assault) 'Hope' is a Thing With Feathers by PeachyKeener

on molly (and molly and ginny):

Every Mother is a Grave by @witchofimber Mother, any distance greater than a single span by Simon Armitage (did anyone else read this for gcse english lit and still find themselves thinking about it a dozen years later?

on sirius and molly:

'He slammed the door in her face' by @ashesandhackles Meta: An alternative read on Sirius and Molly's argument also by @ashesandhackles

on andromeda:

turncoat: in defense of andromeda tonks née black by dirgewithoutmusic

on teddy and the potter family:

little accomplishments by irnan

ok technically i am cheating with this sneak peek because technically i shared a bit of this scene a bazillion years ago/way back in january, a month or so before i started putting the fic out (over here), so here's... a bit more of it hehe:

‘Did it hurt?’ she asks. ‘Becoming an Animagus?’ His laugh is a bark. ‘Unbelievably.’  ‘It must have been worth it, though.’  ‘It’s hard to know what things are worth.’ Definitely in one of those moods.

[dotieeee]

The Dream That Got Away

Chapter 14

Pairing: Dark!Morpheus x You (no Y/N!)

This is a multi-chapter fic — Weekly updates (either Saturday or Sunday) because I found a rhythm of sorts lol

(The entire fic has been outlined, so I will see this to the end, you have my word)

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Link to the Masterlist

Overall Warnings!! Take heed:

Morpheus is DARK – in canon, he changes for the better (or at least, tries to – but we don’t do canon lol, so he goes even more batshit crazy) cue obsession, manipulation, possessiveness, powerplay

18+ ONLY – explicit scenes will be present, some explicit language

DUB-CON and NON-CON scenes

Character death (sort of)

Creator vs Creation drama

And other dark stuff that may be added in the future

This chapter’s warnings:

graphic dub-con ahead - turn back now if this disturbs you :)

touch-starved Morpheus should be a warning of its own

mild threats

Gaslighting!!

new kinks unlocked lol

some(??) angst??

Mentions of ED/body/eating issues if u squint

You have been warned!! Proceed with caution!!!

Link to the previous chapter

Chapter 14: A Festivity and A Fight

“Lady Death,” you bow your head in greeting before flashing a smile that matches hers. Her warmth is infectious, and despite your creator’s gloomy demeanour, her presence alone brightened up the otherwise dreary office that rarely ever saw occupants. “It’s a pleasure and honour to meet you. You’re even more radiant as they say in person.”

Now completely ignoring her brother who’s openly scowling behind her, Lady Death waves off your praise with a light chuckle. “Never mind me, look at you, you’re beautiful! I came to congratulate you on your coronation.”

“Thank you, my Lady. It’d be a privilege to have you as an honoured guest at the party,” you say excitedly. You’ve heard a lot about the kind Endless, so having a friendly face among the crowd of unfamiliar royalty would be a huge reprieve for you.

But her smile turns apologetic, and as she’s about to open her mouth to respond, however, your Dream Lord interjects on her behalf.

“As much as we’d like to have her join the festivity, my dream, my sister is quite the busy Endless. The invitation, however, still remains,” he declares with a somewhat dismissive tone as he makes his approach, maintaining eye contact with his elder sister.

Lad Death simply raises her eyebrows at him, before turning back to you to confirm her brother’s statement. “He’s right, unfortunately. I only came here to have a small chat with my little brother about an important matter,” she says apologetically while she takes both of your hands in hers. “And of course, to send my well-wishes to his precious princess-to-be. I’m really sorry, Mera, but I’ll come by another time and we’ll have our own talk, I promise.”

She lets go of your hands and steps out the door. With one final pointed look at her brother and a warning tone, she declares, “Dream, this discussion isn’t over.”

***

“Morwyn, isn’t this a little too heavy?”

You’re seated right in front of a vanity in your quarters, staring at yourself in the ornate mirror. The attendant in question, currently fussing over the dress you’re supposed to wear for the ceremony, had applied the makeup on your face and in your humble opinion, the lipstick she applied was a little too red for your liking, and it reminded you a little too well of the shade your creator fancies so much.

Maybe that’s why she chose the shade for you.

After your brief meeting with Lady Death a while ago, the Dream Lord had lightly admonished you for helping out instead of preparing for the big celebration, but in the end, praised you for your efforts in welcoming the guests on his behalf. With a kiss he was reluctant to cut short, he used his sand to transport you to your quarters, where Morwyn was waiting for you, along with a warm bath, the dress he wanted you to wear and everything else you needed to get ready.

Morwyn spares you a glance from the dress she’s busy inspecting. “What are you talking about m’lady? You look absolutely beautiful,” she says with a kind smile. “Besides, it was the only shade on the vanity. His majesty really likes red, doesn’t he?”

Yes, he does.

“The weird thing is he never wears the colour, except for the ruby, but I haven’t seen that on him in a long time…Oh, and I guess you won’t be wearing your headdress, now that he’s going to give you a different one and all that…”

While Morwyn mutters to herself, you make the last-minute adjustments to your hair and makeup, then with her assistance, start putting on the dress. It’s the most luxurious gown you have worn yet, with its strapless, sweetheart bodice made of the finest silk and tons of tulle cascading from the waist past your feet, trailing down the floor, all in an admittedly luxurious shade of currant. It’s also the most burdensome so far, for every inch of the gown is covered with tiny slivers of intricately-cut rubies that glittered at every angle. A gown that only princesses could dream of, and it fits you like a glove.

Just as Morwyn was fastening the last ribbon at the back of the dress, you both hear a soft knock on the door. You King enters without waiting for a response, and once his eyes land on you, he never veers his gaze away.

You get a glimpse of your Dream Lord’s form and fight the chance to openly gape: he had forgone his usual garb in favour of a billowing robe made of the richest brocade in his preferred midnight shade, and underneath it, he wears a sleek, double-breasted suit of the same colour, and around his neck is a ruby he has fashioned in the same likeness as the one his adversary had destroyed, presumably to subtly match your outfit. With his hair combed back compared to its normally unkempt state, he looks every bit like the majestic King he is, and you couldn’t take your eyes off him either.

“Morwyn, leave us.”

You mutter a soft ‘thank you’ at her as she bows before you both, then steps out of the room, leaving you both alone.

He seems to recognize the effect he has on you and puts on a sly grin as he closes in on you at a steady pace.

“Your beauty transcends space and time, my Mera,” he compliments, stopping mere inches away from you. He dips his head closer, fanning your face with his warm breath, as he strokes your cheek with his forefinger.

Swallowing a lump in your throat, you return the favour, stammering, “Y-you look quite, uh, dashing yourself, my Lord.”

With his grin growing wider, he remarks, “Today, you shall kneel before me, as you have done many times within the confines of our shared chambers, but this time for a different reason: I shall crown you and you will take your eternal place beside me.”  He then pushes you against the wall without warning and encases you in a searing kiss. It isn’t long before the kiss turns more heated, with his lips trailing down from your jaw to settle on suckling and biting on a spot on your neck, a spot that would alarmingly be visible to anyone and everyone who would lay their eyes on you, given how much skin the gown is revealing.

With a tiny squeal, you protest, “My Lord, please, they’re going to see –”

“And I intend to let them,” he cuts you off, whispering hotly against the reddened skin. “Everyone attending will then know that the princess-consort is off-limits except only for the King of Dreams.” He then turns you around and continues marking you, this time on a spot on your back near your left shoulder, all while pinning you to the wall with his hands on your hips to hold you in place. With a final graze of his lips on your shoulder, he caresses his way upwards to your neck and breathes against your ear, “I have a half mind of taking you against this wall until you’re dripping with my seed…”

But before you could object, he adds, “But I wouldn’t want my dream to appear exhausted even before the festivities begin, and I know how…rough our love-making can be.”

You release a sigh of relief as he backs away from you, and you turn around to face him. He still has that smirk on his face, maintaining eye contact as he wipes away the residue of your ruined lipstick with his thumb.

“We should go. The ceremony will begin momentarily.”

He just stares in mild amusement as you make your way to the vanity to reapply your lipstick, straighten your gown and fix your hair, even though you know it will all be ruined by tonight, as he’ll likely have his way with you anyway.

***

The ceremony went rather smoothly, thanks to the entire palace staff doing their best to keep the guests, and ultimately, their Dream King, happy.

The venue where the celebration was held was a completely new addition to the Dreaming. In honour of your ascent to a royal post, your creator had crafted a sweeping garden within the palace grounds just for the occasion. Surrounded by well-trimmed bushes and small trees blooming with flowers of varying shades and sorts at all corners and lined with marble flooring, he had encased it entirely in a glass dome made of iridescent panels, allowing the sunshine to stream through in all colours in the spectrum for the naked eye to marvel at. He had created this elaborate outdoor ballroom a mere two weeks ago to allow the staff to make the preparations in advance, but not before showing it to you - he had even kissed you on the elevated platform at the far end where he and you will be seated.

It was clear to you at that point that he was trying to win you over with such lavish gestures.

When Lucienne announced the arrival of the King of Dreams and his new princess-consort, everyone in attendance stood to their feet and fell into a hush. When you both made your entrance, everyone’s eyes were on both of you as you made your way to the stage where a large, bejewelled throne, and a smaller but equally decorated one beside it, were placed behind a long table. He had insisted on marching with your arm linked in his, for which you felt grateful – on top of trying hard not to fall flat on your face in your heels, the eyes openly gaping at you made you feel even more nervous, so you clung onto him for support. When you reach the platform, he commanded you on your knees, declared before the entire Dreaming your official title, and promptly crowned you with a small, golden tiara he fashioned with his sand on the spot, decorated in the middle with a single, large ruby (to the audience’s collective gasp of awe). Holding out his hand, he instructed you to take it and get on your feet, and the entire dome bowed their heads, and with a gesture of his palm, they erupted in deafening applause, welcoming the first, and the only princess-consort to their king.

Your Dream Lord then guided you to your place beside him before seating on his throne and gave the order for the feast to begin.

Needless to say, the food was incomparable to anything you’ve ever had, courtesy of the palace chefs and Taramis’s crew, and the music was divine, as your Dream Lord managed to invite a band of talented musicians, some of them humans in their dreams, to play for the guests. Eventually, when the booze started kicking in, Lucienne finally gave the word for the dancing to begin; the Dream Lord, after all, isn’t known for dancing, and it seems like it was enough for him to stay seated on his throne, with his hand intertwined in yours, and watch in mild amusement as his guests and subjects made merry in your name. Shortly after, he stood, urging you to come with him, and asked if you could go around with him to exchange a few words with some of the guests.

***

“...you teach history? That is fascinating, given you’ve been there to witness it all,” you remark lightly before you sip your wine.

Hob Gadling chuckles as he finishes the last spoonful of his cherry trifle. You and your Dream Lord, sitting across you both watching you interact, had joined him at his table shortly after you had finished speaking with some of his notable guests – royals and leaders from other realms across the universe. Your king had invited his centuries-long immortal friend in person and had transported his physical body to the Dreaming realm just so he could meet you. And so far, he’s been an absolute treasure.

“Well, all those years’d be a waste if I didn’t. Enough about me though. I’ve got to leave in about –” Hob glances at his watch – “Ten minutes. Class. So,” he pauses deliberately, motioning between you and your master with a finger. “I have to know how this happened. I mean, you’re very attractive, and he’s a king, sure, but it’s not like he’s the most charming one on the block.”

You try stifling your laugh with your palm, but it only intensifies due to the unamused stare he gets from your Dream Lord.

Laughing with you, Hob continues, “What did he do, trap you into it or something? Because that’s the only way –”

“Hob Gadling. Don’t you have a class to attend?” Your Dream Lord flatly chimes in, clearly not liking the direction of the conversation. He rises to his feet with a stiff posture, which Hob follows with an exasperated eye-roll.

“It’s been a pleasure meeting you, Mera,” says with a warm smile and gives you a one-armed hug. Discreetly, he whispers against your ear so your Dream Lord doesn’t hear, “Is he still an ass?”

“Always,” you reply secretly in the softest of tones, before adding loudly so he doesn’t suspect a thing, “The pleasure is all mine, Hob. Do drop by again when you can.”

You watch them both as they stroll out of the dome, still feeling slightly amused with your exchange. Once you’re left alone at the table, you let out a huff, watching everyone on the dance floor have the time of their lives. Food and drink are still plenty, the kitchens made sure of that, and while you didn’t have that much of an appetite a while ago sitting beside your king, all that small talk depleted your rapidly decreasing social battery, so reach for Hob’s leftover dessert plate which he had barely touched due to his abrupt departure.

“So, Dream finally left with his boyfriend, huh?”

You whip your head around to see who had just spoken sarcastically to find round sunglasses dark as night, slick, blonde hair and a lopsided grin.

“Hello, Corinthian,” you greet the nightmare as he settles down on the empty seat beside you. “And I never thought I’d hear ‘Dream’ and ‘boyfriend’ in a sentence together.”

Leaning back on his chair and crossing his legs in a laid-back fashion, he grins wider and comments, “Do I sense a hint of jealousy? I don’t think it suits you, my lady.”

For the first time in the day, you don’t try stifling your giggles – finally, a company with whom you don’t have to mind your posture or language. Slouching in your chair, you chide him, “Don’t call me that. And no, I’m not jealous. In fact, I hope he runs away with him and never comes back.”

“That’s the spirit,” he praises sardonically. “Now that you’ve finally dropped the royal act, we can for once have a conversation without all that empty polite drivel.”

“Ugh, I know. When did he…bring you back?”

The nightmare nonchalantly reaches for a cupcake from your dessert platter and takes a bite, and replies, “Several months ago, I think. I’ve lost track of time. No offence, but this party is a total bore.”

Shrugging, you find yourself agreeing with him. “Compared to your usual scene, it is rather tame. How was it?”

“The Darkness?” He pauses thoughtfully as he crumples the cupcake liner. “It’s non-existence, how bad can it be? You should try it sometime,” he says jokingly with a wiggle of his eyebrows. “Then again, there’s him. He’s still the same piece of shit, isn’t he?”

“I guess change can be difficult for the Endless,” you remark soberly. “Anyway, what have you been up to?”

“Come to the dreams and I’ll show you.” He sneaks two glasses of wine from a passing waiter and hands one over to you.

After a nod of ‘thanks,’ you take a huge swig from the glass and try to jest, “And what, watch you chase down some poor bloke and eat his eyeballs out of a toothpick? Yeah, I wish. Even if I wanted to…” your sentence trails off, but, perceptive as ever, he immediately gets your meaning.

“He took your abilities away. No fucking way,” he concludes to himself disbelievingly. “Shit. Uh-oh.” Singing to the tune of ‘Here comes the Bride’, he hums, “Here comes the prick, all dressed in –”

“‘Black’ doesn’t rhyme with ‘prick,’ though,” you cut in, looking in the same direction he’s eyeing. True enough, you spot your Dream Lord approaching in long strides, his gaze locked in on you.

With a chortle, the Corinthian drawls out, “Well, if there’s anything you can get out of this ‘arrangement,’ it has to be the sex. I bet he fucks real hard.”

You pelt him in annoyance with a chunk of the chocolate-dipped pretzel you were about to nibble on, which he dodges with a snort of laughter. “Shut up, here he comes, act normal.” 

When the Dream King reaches the table he left you in, he has his normal, stoic mask, but he addresses you both with a suspicious tone. “My Dream. Corinthian.”

“Hello, your majesty,” Dream’s perfect nightmare greets with a sneer. “Forgive me if I leave the festivities early, I have a dreamer to torment.” Getting up from his seat, he turns to you with an equally satirical tone. “By your leave, my lady?”

You roll your eyes at him and scoff, “Fine. Do come by for tea so we can catch up,” you say with a smirk.

He dramatically places a hand over his heart, exclaiming in mock surprise, “Are you asking me, a nightmare, on a date, my lady?”

But Dream is clearly having none of his nightmare’s antics. He says warningly, “Corinthian –”

“Alright, alright,” Corinthian mutters with his hands in the air in a gesture of defeat. “Jeez, can’t take a fucking joke…”

With a final wave, he takes off from the dome while you watch his back the entire time, wondering what it’s like to finally exit and be free from all this drag.

Your king wordlessly takes the seat he left. An uncomfortable silence passes between the two of you, with you fidgeting with a mildly interesting chunk of ruby on your dress as he stares at you like he’s struggling to say something. Finally breaking the silence after a few moments, he says, “Your dynamic with the Corinthian –”

“He’s a friend, my Lord,” you couldn’t help interrupting him, knowing very well what he meant. He can’t control even the people you choose to talk to, can he? “Won’t your subjects find it odd that I don’t have any, save Lucienne?”

He purses his lips in acquiescence, but of course, he has to have the final word, as always. “Indeed, but I must ask you to tread carefully. I may have righted his flaws, but he is still a nightmare.”

At least he still has his dream-forming abilities, comes a retort in your head that you hold back, knowing it wouldn’t get you anywhere. Instead, you respond with, “May I be excused, my Lord?”

You find his presence to be stifling, so when he nods imperceptibly with his jaw clenched, you immediately give him a tiny curtsy and turn away, intending to hide and sulk behind one of the bushes at the corner to have a moment to yourself. Instead, a tiny force collides with your midriff, temporarily knocking the wind out of you.

“Princess, I’m so happy to see you!”

Ethan the Knight, Vanquisher of Dragons and Commander of Legions, has somehow made it to your party in his dreams and is currently hugging you with a strength a six-year-old isn’t supposed to have. Once he lets go of you, he flashes you with the biggest, brightest smile he could muster.

“Ethan! You found me again,” you say delightedly. The last time you met him, your time had been unfortunately cut off and you were unable to complete his dream, so seeing him this happy just warms your heart. You squat before him to match his height ignoring the fact that you were wearing heels. “I’m happy to see you, too! And I see you’ve brought your friends along,” you say, acknowledging the two other children behind him whispering to themselves. The boy mutters to Ethan, who had eyes only on you, “Is she really a princess?”

The little girl beside him whispers back, “Yes she is, dummy, can’t you see her crown?”

“Hello, you two! Are you enjoying the party?”

Both of them blush cutely at the same time at the attention you’re giving, but they both answer in unison, “Yes, your highness!”

“Although we didn’t get cake,” Ethan mumbles with an adorable pout. “And what’s he doing here?” he complains, pointing at your Dream Lord behind you, sitting on his table, watching the exchange with sharp eyes.

“Ah, well, he’s the twin of the evil king you see,” you answer carefully. “He rescued me from the tower. And you see that man over there with the fancy moustache?” you motion to Taramis serving one of the royal guests. “He can get you as much cake as you can eat. Go, and tell him I sent you.”

With a squeal of ‘thanks,’ he runs off to the head waiter, and the other boy follows along. The little girl, however, stays in place, fidgeting at the hem of her pyjama shirt.

Turning to her, you ask gently, “What about you, young lady? What would you like? Why don't you go with the boys and get something sweet?”

She just stares at you shyly through her eyelashes and responds quietly, “I’m watching my diet, princess. Mommy says I can’t have cake ‘cause I’ll get fat and then people will laugh at me.”

You’re taken aback at the little girl’s worry, but you never take the smile off your face - what she needs right now is reassurance, and you have plenty of that to give her.

“What’s your name, young lady?”

“Carrie,” she responds timidly with a small, hesitant smile.

“Well, Carrie, you happen to be in a magical place, where the calories here don’t count,” you say with a playful wiggle of your eyebrows.

“Really? You mean I can get a strawberry shortcake and vanilla ice cream too?” she says, her eyes growing wide at the thought of her finally getting to eat her favourite desserts.

Laughing at her cute reaction, you say, “And you can even put as much caramel sauce as you’d like,”

“I love caramel! Thank you, princess!”

Slowly getting to your feet, you watch fondly as she bolts toward Ethan and the other boy who is currently being served by Taramis huge platters of dessert you know they could never wolf down. 

“You are good with them.”

Your Dream Lord had finally gotten to his feet and is now standing beside you, with his hands regally clasped together.

“I’m sorry, my Lord?” you ask with a confused expression.

He smiles at you with the softest smile he’s given you the entire day and amends, “Children. You are wonderful with them.”

Not knowing how else to respond, you choose your words cautiously. “Well, if the world treats them right, humanity might have a better chance.”

He only hums at your response with a look of deep contemplation on his face.

“My Lord, Carrie’s mother…” you plead to him, hoping he relents this time.

“I heard,” comes his short reply. “I shall have a dream look into it.”

“But I can do it if you just let me. I can fix it for her,” you beg in the softest of tones, wanting nothing at the moment but to ease the little girl’s body issues. “No child, nor anyone, deserves to be told such hurtful things.”

“This is neither the time nor the place, to discuss that matter,” he quietly castigates you with a firm look, a look that told he wanted to hear no more of it.

You hang your head, biting the insides of your cheek and wanting very much for this day to be over just so you could cry yourself to sleep in your absolute frustration.

***

You collapse on your Dream Lord’s bare chest with a sharp cry as you come on top of him, riding out your orgasm by grinding against him in soft thrusts before halting your movement altogether.

Your King had wasted no time turning your gown into sand the moment he had you to himself in his chambers after all the party guests had gone home. He had commanded that his new princess-consort fulfil her duties of pleasuring him, and tonight he had preferred you riding him out on the couch. It’s not like you had gotten used to his touches - far from it: you had only been doing his bidding because what choice did you have? He could very well send you back to the tower he had imprisoned you where he’ll likely force himself on you anyway.

He cups your face so he could kiss you fervently while his rock-hard cock, still lodged firmly inside you, pumps slowly in and out of your hole, a telltale sign that he wants more. One thing you had learned sharing his bed for the past few months is that his desire for you is insatiable and he had the stamina only an Endless had the right to possess.

But as he sucks your lower lip and squeezes your lower cheeks insistently, you find yourself getting weary of the act, and reasonably so in your opinion; you had been on four-inch heels the entire day, lugging around the heaviest gown you had ever worn in your life. You had all the reasons to be tired.

Your Dream King senses your hesitation, but that had never stopped him before, and he isn’t about to stop now. He flips you over with a growl; he makes you kneel on the sofa and cling to its backrest, while he positions himself behind you, intent on finding his release.

“My lord,” you attempt to reason. “I can’t take anymore…could we –”

“No, you can take one more, my dream.”

Feeling defeated, you brace yourself and squeeze the sofa’s backrest, letting out a whimper as he slides his hard length inside you and picks up a hard pace while he grasps your hips with both hands and brings you to him with every single thrust. Your moans and his grunts fill his chamber in no time, along with the wet, squelching sounds and the loud slapping of flesh brought about by your bodies coming together. Helplessly, you grip the back cushion shakily as he takes you with wild abandon from behind like his life depended on it. To deepen his thrusts and bring your bodies closer, he kneels on the couch and continues ploughing into you, suckling and biting down on every part of your skin his lips could reach while his hand snakes between your folds and massages your clit. By now, you’re clenching his cock uncontrollably and you’re screaming your throat hoarse - with a shriek that echoed in his chamber, your orgasm makes your vision fade to black as you let out a string of incoherent curses. Your master continues slamming hard into you before his orgasm shortly follows yours, and while you convulse beneath him he squeezes your ass to hold you still as he bites down hard on your shoulder. You could feel his warmth flood inside you, prolonging and intensifying your high.

“That’s it,” he whispers breathily against your ear. “That’s my good girl, taking all of my seed like the good, little dream you are. Take all of it.”

With a final pump and a growl, he finally stops moving within you, for which you’re thankful – you had started feeling sore right after your first orgasm from riding him. He pulls out of you, but he stays in place behind you. You expected him to carry you to the bed like he always does when you both finish anywhere else but the bed, but to your dismay, he parts your lower cheeks further. 

From behind you, he declares, “I have always enjoyed watching my seed slowly trickling down your thighs, my little dream. It’s a vision made only for me - I imagine it filling your womb with life that we created together…”

But his meaning is lost on you, for you had started concentrating on not falling into exhaustion, barely registering his words. You feel him insert two fingers into your cum-filled hole, and pump a few times before withdrawing. He manoeuvres you to face him, so with you still being straddled at the front with his thighs preventing escape, he takes your chin with his hand, forcing your mouth open, and places the fingers coated with both your juices and makes you suck on them. He maintains his intense eye contact, watching hungrily as you suckle his fingers clean, your eyes swimming in tears of embarrassment. He slowly pulls his hand away, and with a tone of praise, he says, “You’ve done well, my dream.”

“And you have been doing well for the past months.” His grip on your chin becomes more gentle, as is his tone. “In honour of your exceptional performance, I shall grant you a boon. A gift.”

“My Lord, may I speak freely?”

“Yes, you may.”

You swallow nervously, already aware that he might not like what you have in mind.

“Then, give me back my ability to form dreams. Please.”

You watch as your King freezes at your request. Your heartbeat quickens as you peer into his darkening gaze - at last, he pulls away from you completely and walks away, effectively changing the atmosphere in the room.

“I don’t understand, my Lord,” you start, getting to your feet and grabbing a bathrobe that he had conjured out of thin air for you. “You asked, and gave me permission to speak my mind. I have told you what I wish. Take that as you may.”

“And you know my answer,” he speaks through clenched teeth. He faces you with a face contorted in a quiet rage he’s trying to reel in as he puts on his jet-black cloak, his eyes now close to matching the colour of his robes. “Have I not given you enough? Do you find my Kingdom wanting, so much as to desire the company of humans?”

“No, that’s not what I meant –”

“Or is it my company you find inadequate?” he growls lowly, his fists balling and quivering in his attempt to control his emotions. “If you’re not content with what I have so generously provided, shall I teach you a lesson once more –”

“If you could please, just listen to me for a damn second –”

“Shall I take it all away? Shall I send you back to the tower, and hope you could, at last, see that I have done my very best to keep you happy in my realm?” His fury is now emanating from him in waves of black smoke, his sand circling you threateningly.

But this display of power doesn’t strike fear in you. If anything, you grow more confused - had he not asked for what you wanted? He had seen with his own eyes how you had deteriorated in your isolation at the tower he’s imprisoned you, and now he’s contemplating sending you back there, just because you had answered his question?

“That’s your solution?” your response comes in a whisper full of conflicted feelings – you’re perplexed, disappointed, hurt – and your voice trembles in its gravity. “You’re willing to put me through that hellish ordeal again just because you didn’t like what you heard?”

But if he’s moved with your words and the way your tears pool at the corner of your eyes, he doesn’t show it. “Stand down, little dream – you forget your place.”

“No,” you say, wiping your tears away with force. “No, I will not! Will that be your solution every time I make a move that offends you? I have done everything you asked just so I could please you, but am I to walk on eggshells around you for eternity? You’re really willing to inflict pain on me that much just to drive a point?”

Your questions seem to strike a chord with the Endless before you, for he hesitates for a fraction of a second. “My dream, that’s not true –”

“You had promised me before that you’d never take my abilities away because you claim it was a part of me. So, congratulations, my Lord, for erasing that part of my identity.”

If he had responded to your soft emotional outburst, you never got around to hearing it – at that point, you promptly exit his chambers, slamming his door closed behind you, and run into yours. Just like you did over a century ago, you barricade the door with the couch and cry yourself to sleep, not understanding what or why you’re feeling the way you do and stewing instead in your mounting resentment with the King who had refused, even just this one time, to truly listen to you.

***

It has been a few days since your fight with your King, and you had not seen a hair of him since.

Not that it matters to you, anyway: you’re still wounded and angry at him, after all. Has he finally learned and decided to give you some fucking space, for once?

You’re not one to complain about this little development.

As you sit in the garden waiting for your company, you leisurely sip the coffee Morwyn herself had brewed, noting how she had taken to heart your preference. Leaning on the table sprawled with sweets she had picked for you, you absently toy on the whipped cream frosting that decorated one of the teacakes as you hear footfalls on the gravel approaching.

The friend you’re waiting for has finally arrived.

“What took you so long?” you say, grinning at the Corinthian. He does not wait for your gesture to join him – he simply plops down on the chair before you and helps himself to the coffee, and you watch with mild longing as he uses his dream-ability to warm the beverage.

“A nightmare held me up,” he replies cooly, as he takes a sip of his piping-hot drink. “So, you actually summoned me?”

“I did,” you smugly respond. “ It’s one of the many perks I get now.”

Corinthian lets out a snort of laughter, mouthing the words ‘fuck you’ before commenting, “You know, some of us have actual work to do?”

“I know, but I’m bored.”

“And what am I supposed to do, babysit you?” He reaches across the table to swipe at the chocolate cake you hadn’t yet touched.

Putting on an indifferent air, you casually shrug, taking a bite out of a blondie bar. “Well, I hate to pull this card, but I am your princess, so…”

“Well, if you put it that way,” he says with a grin spanning from ear to ear. “I guess this counts as work. Well, thank fucking God, I’ve been on that human’s dreams since he brought me back, and he’s put me in charge of this new nightmare to ‘show him the ropes.’ I could be crafting the worst horrors of humanity, and here I am showing someone else how it’s done. It’s pathetic.”

Your interest is piqued at the mention of the new nightmare he’s mentoring. “What’s this nightmare like?”

****************************** Link to the next chapter

Author notes on the Chapter:

Whatchutink of our dear perfect Nightmare and perfect Dream being besties? hihi

Oh and a wild Hob Gadling appears!!

******************************

Author's notes in general:

Thank you, THANK YOU for reading!!

Please engage, comment and reblog!! I love feedback from you guys :) This is my first ever fic, so kindness is truly appreciated!

Thank you to my queen @queenshelby @endlessdreamqueen3 for encouraging me to pen this, as well as to my fellow Dark!Morpheus writers whose work I have thoroughly enjoyed and keep rereading :)

Post date: 1/21/22

Edit date: 1/22/22

Taglist: Just lemme know please if you want to be added, too!

Tagging the following:

@wt-fxck

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[knowlesian]

gonna indulge my inner ed here and split a hair real fine, but because i have somehow never talked about this: why the semantic difference between ‘stede burned that ship down’ and ‘stede said a lot of entirely true but very uncomfortable to acknowledge stuff, and doing that led to a bunch of new money assholes losing their absolute shit on main and burning their own ship down’ is pulling so fucking much thematic weight it kills me. 

i’ve said it that first way before jokingly and i will say it again, but the other is actually a lot more accurate. 

because what’s the actual sequence of events? not just the consequences, but the context.

- stede asks if they want to play a game in a way they could avoid by not being insecure little noveau riche babies; they take the bait much in the manner of fish stuck in the proverbial about to be bullet-riddled barrel

- stede says a bunch of true stuff about these people, things they are ashamed of and lie about but are 100% accurate. not insults! just facts.

- they delight in the first few chances to shame each other, but as stede keeps going and the secrets expose them all to the truths they all sort of already knew but balanced their social circles on not openly acknowledging, they go absolutely hog fuckin wild, fight in the parking lot of the shittiest bar i ever worked at style.  

- while they go apeshit and attack each other and burn things, stede (and everybody else in this scene we actually like) stands back and goes ‘...wow, these people are really doing this??? really??? fuckin’... wow. oh shit, are they gonna kill each other for real? and they say we’re uncivilized.’

so stede’s not insulting these people, and even better: he’s not being passive aggressive. 

he is, in fact, being the exact opposite of passive aggressive. he’s being honest. and it’s not that ‘oh, i’m just brutally honest so you have to let me get away with out of pocket shit’ crap people pull when they’re looking to be cruel but don’t want to admit it.

that one dude IS embezzling! those two siblings ARE going full dime store lannister! that one dude DID have a child out of wedlock with that other chick!

(i love the inclusion of that one in particular, and how it’s markedly different than what comes after: because i think p solidly that’s the only one where i’m like, hey: as long as everybody involved was chill, who cares? that’s as morally neutral as having a baby with someone you are married to: the context is where the ballgame lies, on that one. 

but these people care. they really, REALLY care. and they care because society has told them they have to care, if they don’t want to end up shamed by said society for it.

outside some select exceptions that mostly come down to ‘ahahahaha capitalism can go fuck itself, the phrase cost of living is far more obscene than most of the words you can’t say on broadcast tv’, i would agree the other truths stede reveals are baseline Not Great. however: fucking somebody you’re not married to only matters if the people involved decide it does, there’s no general moral absolute there. 

like, look. this is why i find debates about if humans are ‘meant’ for monogamy or polyamory tedious and wrongheaded at the same time. are we meant to be on sailboats, or eat cheese? who fuckin’ knows, and who fucking cares. those are all questions that cannot be answered on any practical or universal level. 

we are MEANT to make our own choices, and do what works best for us. the presumption that monogamy is moral or natural versus just... sometimes easier to navigate, because good communication is key to a healthy relationship and the more people there are, the more communicating must be done, is stupid. god knows plenty of monogamous couples cannot communicate for shit. there’s no right way or silver bullet there, and given the lucius and pete of it all, ofmd obviously knows that.

g o d i love this show.)

anyway, tangent over: nothing stede says is not just the simple, unvarnished truth. 

if these people weren’t ashamed of themselves and so afraid of the truth it drives them to freak the fuck out and vomit on each other mid-fight and then burn their own fucking ship down, none of this would be happening. literally none of it! 

they react to the truth like stede does set the ship on fire: but that’s all them. they set their own ship on fire. stede doesn’t do anything but hold a mirror up to their faces and i don’t think there’s an argument here that he shouldn’t have said that stuff, unless you think society should run on people never telling each other the truth if it would be uncomfortable, lest we run wild in the streets and literally burn everything down.

which is a fun little thematic wink/echo: stede breaks their world there, and he does it by working with his actual natural allies and in particular, by listening to frenchie and then going to ask abshir for his help, because he knows things stede doesn’t and stede literally cannot pull this off without him. so stede shows solidarity, and having recently realized this dynamic is a thing he’s gonna have to be aware of and start pushing against if he genuinely cares about ed, actively and purposefully uses the social privilege looking the way he looks, and having the money he has granted him. 

but what he does with it makes all the difference. because having realized these people will listen to him in a way they will not listen to ed, he takes that assumed right to hold the floor and he uses it to burn the motherfuckin system of agreed-upon dishonesty calling itself politeness down. the system, not the ship.

(there’s a read on ‘these are my people’ that’s a lot sadder/less positive, and i think that’s in the mix too, but for this part of stede’s development i love what it also means about how he’s realized the world looks at ed and makes some assumptions they will never, ever make about stede or the other rich white people in that ship.)

so tldr: stede doesn’t actually burn the ship down, not outside the broadest ‘this was what happened next’ terms. 

the rich assholes burn their own ship down, because they literally cannot handle the basic truths about themselves being spoken aloud, and that context makes a whooooole lotta difference.

i mean... this SHOW. what the fuck? i just wanna talk to these writers. 

[owlbelly]

ahahahaha fuck

i just spent a good hour & a half composing a letter to the editor of our town paper in response to an incredibly bitchy transphobic op-ed (by a woman i encounter often! small town!) about how annoying kids these days are with their "grammatically incorrect" gender-neutral pronouns, which she fucking wrote in response to a young person in her life expression frustration with her not ever using their pronouns & whining about how hard it is when they correct her

aaaaand i sent it before i could talk myself out of it!

i feel really good about what i wrote but i sure just did openly sign my own trans name on it & make myself vulnerable to potential backlash! the least of which would be beefing with this lady who's a cultural fixture here & who i've had only positive interactions with thus far! :) :) :)

but the last time i tried to write in about trans stuff to the paper i wanted to be anonymous (because it was about fucking assault-weapon-toting transphobes) & they were like "we don't publish anonymous letters" sooooo here i go i guess. but this pissed me off enough. i will fucking take the hit for every trans kid in Ashfield, no one should have to read this shit.

[cviperfan]

Bayo 3 Thoughts

-Not crazy about the Homunculi as enemies, or at least not about the human sized ones, mostly bc i feel like their windups are a lot harder to read, and don't have as clear gives as Angels/Demons did before.  But then some of the returning Angels have shorter windups/reads than before, so this is probably more representative of a general tuning of combat feel

-Trade-off from the "two weapons per set" to "one per set" is that while there's fewer combinations to play with, they are definitely more focused and interesting.  G-Pillar is such a smart second weapon to introduce bc it feels so immediately distinctive from CMW, whereas getting the Shotgun after SF in B1 really only offers minor differences all things considered.  Also, I can only speak for myself but in B1/2 it's extremely easy to decide on a couple sets, if that, to stick with for all your possible permutations (probably involving a sword(s) and whichever thing makes you skate around fast)

-Also was so used to Y (gun) just being the auto-fire attack with your quad pistol no matter what that when it did the anti-tank shot for G-Pillar I immediately went :OOOOOOO

-While I get completely the revamp of how acquiring weapons works here (acquired through story progress so you get all of them, instead of being found piecemeal throughout the world/through meeting specific requirements)-- and it makes sense, you want to make sure every player sees the entire toolkit and I can get being frustrated that some cool stuff like Pillow Talk/Sai-Fung in B1 requires pretty big asks, at the same time it makes it feel less special if you're just getting them like this?  Like i really do get it but still the routine of finding all the pieces of an LP and bringing them to Rodin to do his thing built up this sense of anticipation and encouraged exploration and really gave him a lot of personality too so it's just like... it's fine i guess

-Speaking of which, I both kind of appreciate the more openly "wide-linear" approach to level design while also feeling like the meh rewards for doing so kind of undercut it.  Like the RoT chests in B2 at least gave you vital upgrades like Witch Hearts/Pearls, so there was an incentive to take up the minigame or hunt down the really well hidden ones in B1.  Most of these chests are just like... materials???? and a lollipop?  K

So it turns out some of them *do* in fact have useful upgrades in them but I still feel this point kind of stands?  Because it's still more likely you can go through the trouble of some of these and then it's just materials and that's still annoying

-That being said these levels do feel HUGE even right off the bat.  there's at LEAST 2-3 Secret Missions per level, and it's hard to deny that the effort Platinum have made to ensure stuff is findable is hard to come back from.  Not having to do some obscure bananapants placement/timing shit to hit them is honestly a fucking godsend, the way Verse breakdowns post-fight are laid out makes it IMMEDIATELY CLEAR if you missed one so it's easier to double back, along with up-front indicators about Umbran Tears.  I swear to god I 100%ed Level 1 on my FIRST GO, a thing I never thought possible with the dense and easily-missable nature of Bayonetta levels, even if it took me just shy of an hour to do so.

-The mimic chests got me like :OOOOOO

-Honestly maybe the absolute best payoff of the new approach to level design is the Phenomenal Rifts, which open up after finding all of the Umbran Tears on a level, which are basically secret missions with guaranteed Really Good Rewards, like Accessories or even completely separate demons/weapons.  

-Not crazy about how instead of just unlocking the base pieces of your whole moveset from Rodin (stuff like the Heel Slide/Tetsuzanko in particular) now you just buy them all piecemeal per weapon.  They aren't super expensive but having it this way (while again making the whole suite of moves clearer to novices) really cuts into the ease of combat flow between weapons.  Like it feels like a retroactive justification for the upgrade trees which kind of subtly shifts the focus from gameplay mastery to XP grinding which hmm not crazy about

-It's extremely interesting how much this borrows mechanically from Astral Chain, and feels like a glimpse into how Scalebound might have played out too.  It's really clear they wanted to carry over a lot of those ideas, even if only in a more restrained and limited approach.

-Was not expecting to actually play as the Alternate Universe Bayos (BAyUs?) so that's a fun little treat.  Tokyo!Bayo reminds me of that time Platinum was like PLEASE LET US MAKE A SPIDER-GWEN GAME and it's clear they're still hoping for it somehow.  It's the fact that the Ignus Yo-yo's Gun attack is STRAIGHT UP THE FUCKING WEB-SHOOTER for me

-Not a fan of how slow some of the Ride monsters like Gommorah are, tho being in a chase that's like "avoid all these tiny objects or take damage" and the dodge command takes 4 entire years to complete does not help.  The Not-Gojira fight while extremely fucking cool suffers from a similar problem of slow-ass responses to tight counter windows as well

-THE FUCKIN LUPIN HOMAGES FOR JEANNES FUCKIN STEALTH SHIT

-The Jeanne stuff is... short, but interesting?  Definitely more mini-game than full-on concept

-Being a huge nerd?  Having a sword?  Punk haircut?  Cool jacket?  Semi-comedy relief character?  Customizable shirts?  The way we all called Viola a DMC character when the reality is she's absolutely a No More Heroes character

- OK so after playing as her for a while now I've concluded that while Viola The Character is a fun addition to the series Viola the Player Character is... kind of not?  And a big part of that is that her main defensive option, Parrying (instead of Bayo dodging to get Witch Time, Viola can only do it if she parries with Jeanne-style timing) feels-- especially in the context of Platinum's oeuvre-- really fucking bad????  Like maybe it's the fact that reading the move in the context of Bayonetta's classic gameplay/enemy types is extremely difficult or the compounding difference of enemy attack timing or the fact that you cannot move AT ALL to do it correctly or you activate your double-tap rush move (and related, the fact that it's ALSO ON THE BUTTON FOR THE DOUBLE TAP RUSH MOVE, A MOVE THAT IS NOT SAFE AGAINST ATTACKS) or it's a combination of all the above but it's extremely frustrating to have three whole games built around Bayo's dodge timing and generous window and then to play Viola and have all that working against you... feels bad man

-That being said the kind of tandem character combat (again, carrying over from Astral Chain a bit) she has with Cheshire is extremely good and it feels like she's actually a better damage dealer bare-fisted than with the sword???

-While some of them are pretty cool on the whole I'm kinda not crazy about all the Big Area Bosses being gimmick Giant fights?  Like I think Bayonetta as a series generally does a great job making Giant Boss fights feel readable and fun (a little less so in 2, but 1 is absolutely a How-To on making that work) when you're a human-sized character so largely setting that aside for the final game in the trilogy is... kinda weird ngl

-I do think it's funny as fuck we all saw the trailer where Bayo pulls her heart out to apparently summon a Giant Gommorah and everyone was like "oh shit this must be for the final battle... like a desperate last resort move at the end of her rope" and then in the game itself she's just poppin that sucker out every 3 chapters like it's no big thing lol

-One complaint I had about the first two games is that with a few exceptions the weapons aren't really unique or have distinctive characteristics (a more common quirk of the DMC games), which 3 has absolutely amended to its credit.  While there are definitely light/fast and heavy/slow weapons, there's a lot more uniqueness and interesting quirks to each of them (Dead End Express is a very light homage to the Motorbike weapon from DMC5, and requires specific timing on the charge attacks to do the most damage but will burn out if you hold it too long; the Mic can do Attack/Defense buffs; there's a FUCKING TWIN DOOR SHIELD THATS DEFINITELY NOT A SOULS REFERENCE), so they really do all feel very different and fun to play with.  Like this is absolutely an aspect of the game where designers got to let their imaginations run wild and it mostly pays off

-The entire (and i mean ENTIRE) final battle is honestly fucking hilarious bc it repeats this cycle of

Singularity: HA HA YOU CANT BEAT ME IM REALITY Bayo: gets the upper hand with some crazy trick Singularity: NOOO???? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE????????? I CANT LOOSEEEEEE Singularity: counters it anyway Bayo: noooo im losing (return to step one)

LIKE THREE OR FOUR TIMES and it honestly kinda kills the momentum after the third one

Okay so.  I finished the game and hooooooo boy am I emotionally am kind of all over the place.

So I think I, like a lot of other people, saw That One Polygon Review for Bayonetta 3 (pointedly entitled "Bayonetta 3 Broke My Heart") and kind of took the conclusion, based on how the article dances around spoilers, that the reviewer was let down by the endgame pairing and was maybe letting that dictate their response to the game?  However turns out there are much bigger problems here and I can honestly see now why they made their feelings so bluntly clear.

I think giving it such a downer ending, when that's never been what Bayonetta has pursued or been about, is such a bizarre turn that for a hot minute during the first part of the credits I was just like "no way this is the actual ending.  They're totally gonna pull a Bayo 1 and just when things seem most dire they're gonna fake-out the end credits and give us a better finale" and then.  they just keep going.  And then we get a random last fight with Viola with zero context?  And then the credits continue over the traditional pole dance bit and quick verses and??? that's really it the end of the game????

And I think trying to position Viola as The New Bayo (no literally) is such a weird choice when... again I like the character, but her gameplay is so totally different that if they're serious and she is gonna be The New Generation carrying the series forward there's no way that shit's not getting revamped.

And some of it feels really pointed (oh, the gays like Jeanne?  Even though she is specifically my, Hideki Kamiya,'s waifu?  Here's her getting a stupid and cheap ass death that Bayonetta only gets the Arthur Clenched Fist Meme response to) but half-joking it feels like Kamiya discovered a new set of fetishes (semi-goth punk rock girls with short hair) and looked at Tall-Milf-Domme-With-Glasses Bayo and was just like "I don't wanna play with you anymore" and tossed her completely in the garbage, literally erasing every possible version of the character to utterly stamp her out

On the subject of shipping, while I've always been in the Bayojeanne corner I never really expected the series to commit to it, or at least not in an upfront way.  Like honestly the most I expected was the comfort of ambivalence and ambiguity?  And I think B2 had so little to do with Luka and them barely interacting that I think a lot of people felt comfortable that Kamiya and co had apparently 180'd on the BayoLuka thing (especially since he has literally acknowledged them as a couple, like, romantically, in the context of several of his other explicitly romantic pairs) that I think B3 pivoting so hard on a "no BayoLuka was not only always it but THEY ARE LITERALLY FATED TO ALWAYS END UP TOGETHER GO FUCK YOURSELF" feels kind of spiteful (and is Kamiya a spiteful, petty person?  Yes.  Would he?  Also yes.)  And my thing is, in B1 I'm honestly kinda like they're fine?  Like the impression i got was for sure that they fucked btwn game 1 and 2 and then 2 makes it seem like they just moved on and never really hooked up again.  And to be sure if you look at Kamiya's body of work he absolutely loves this dynamic in an M/F couple so it's like... I can see this having been the endgame for him but at the same time it's extremely poorly done.  

Sidenote I think it's fucking hilarious that the game tries to play a few bits as recurring tics of their perpetual romantic entanglement which... are completely not (Luka's "Fate brought us together, and it will never tear us apart" is NOT EVEN A LINE HE SAYS TO HER, AT ANY POINT THROUGH THE GAMES IT'S A THROWAWAY PICKUP LINE HE GIVES TO SOME RANDOM NPC IN GAME 1 AND THATS IT???? or Bayo's "only the Luka I know would be bold enough to call me 'Cerezita'" which is ALSO something he has never said to her, except technically to Baby Her in B1 again).  Like I am actually pretty open to het pairings provided that they have good chemistry and the thing in question is not Forcing its Hand about how Meant To Be they are and the B3 writing really hits every branch of that tree on the way down

And the thing about B3 going "No Actually Luka is the most Important and Super Special Awesome guy in the multiverse" is it's so disrespectful to the Bayonetta character??? After two other games of her killing God and in this one of her summoning every possible version of herself to fight a man-made god which isn't enough?  And it's not even tied to any of the established lore it's some random new Third Thing too???  

And the thing for me about all the great scores and recommendations in reviews for B3 that don't even touch on how bad this ending is is that most of them are like "lol no one cares about Bayonetta's story" and people are like "Platinum are bad writers and can't tell a story" and I'm just like.  Compared to what, exactly.  Platinum's track record isn't consistent to be sure but there are way more games than not that actually cannot tell a satisfying or interesting narrative, and while Platinum has never been one for subtlety or gravitas most of their big games have themes and ideas they're conveying mostly successfully, and for all its bombast and background lore the Bayonetta games up to now have told a pretty solid and entertaining story with a consistent internal mythology.  Like B1 and 2 actually form a pretty tight duology that answers pretty much all of its own big questions and closes its time loop and like sure, you don't *have* to care about the narrative, you *can* just engage with them mechanically and still have a good time, but I think acting like there's nothing there, no thoughts head empty is pretty shortsighted.  Like you're never gonna see a Vaatividya take but there are ABSOLUTELY people making Bayonetta lore vids just like there are people making sick combo vids.

And the thing that stands out to me the most about Bayonetta 3's writing is it really feels like the team at Platinum took that "no one cares about the story" dismissal and decided "yea fuck it I guess so"

Like despite this being the end of a trilogy and supposedly a wrapping up of the story to this point, it has almost no connection to everything that came before it (supposedly after all the debate about whether this was an AU Bayo or not the Bayo of this game supposedly is?  And then through some multiverse shenanigans it seems to imply that the Bayo we played as in 1 and 2 are ALSO not the same character and are variants themselves which????? fucking weird and stupid if so????) aside from some cameo Angel/Demon fights.  They try to recreate the time displacement character reveal thing from the other games with Viola but it really doesn't work bc 1) it's extremely obvious VERY early on what her connection to Bayo/Luka is but 2) she makes effort to very carefully tiptoe around saying it for most of the game for no reason when being upfront about it would make for better character moments??? Like this isn't a fucking Back to the Future scenario it's not going to fuck up the timeline if they know (Like it works in B1 bc Baby!Cereza is a literal fucking toddler and then it works for Balder in B2 bc it's clear Bayo understands that connection so it feels impactful when it turns out Balder understood without her saying anything).  WE LITERALLY NEVER LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT THE VILLAIN, WHAT HIS GOAL IS OR WHY.  There's no monologue, no connection he has to the lore of the series, what the Homunculi exactly are or why they exist.  Faeries are a thing now I guess!  Where are they from?  what's their purpose?  how do they fit into the Angel/Demon dichotomy? WHO FUCKING KNOWS BUT NOW LUKA IS A WEREWOLF TYPE DUDE I GUESS AND HE ALWAYS WAS SHUT UP.  I've seen some reviewers call this a Celebration of Bayonetta as both a character and a series but aside from some pointed references and the Multiverse shenanigans it feels a lot more like, again, the trappings of the series up to now getting thrown in the dumpster.

And speaking of it feels like while they're cool in parts the series honestly does not gain a lot from dipping its toe into the New Hotness of Multiverse Stuff (aside from Egyptian!Bayojeanne, who at least have both the Devoted Princess/Knight dynamic and have big Oh They *Fuckin* energy).  Like at least it's mostly there for Mari Shimazaki to fuckin flex (as one of the pillars of the foundation of what makes Bayonetta Bayonetta, her design work remains absolutely on point no matter what), but they're pretty perfunctory and while the advertising makes a big point of our Bayo teaming up with these BAyUs she really only meets them for like a minute and then they die but she gets their weapons/demons so hey lol works out for her

Honestly at the end of the day Bayonetta 3 just left me... extremely mixed on my feelings.  I'd played DMC and Ninja Gaiden before, but Bayonetta 1 really awakened my love for character action games, and from all accounts with the dark direction Platinum is taking towards the Live Service hellscape, I had the sinking feeling that Bayonetta 3 was going to be the last true Platinum game; a reasonably sized title that keeps you coming back not with the promise of Endless Content(tm) but a densely packed title with compelling gameplay and loads of reasons to revisit it.  And while gameplay-wise it definitely feels that way, its story feels like a disappointing cap-off to a great series and a company I loved as well.  I guess we'll see if this vague promise of a B4yonetta comes to fruition.

[riddle-me-ri]

Arkhamverse, Zero Year and BTAS Riddler having romance with their fem!therapist at Arkham in secret, please?

A/N: omg this is such a neat cute idea asdfghhh. Also my first request for some Arkhamverse and Zero Year Eddies! I hope I did them justice rip

Trigger Warnings: Therapist/Patient relationships, inappropriate work relations, and some strong language (Zero Year can't be discussed without expletives).

Arkhamverse Riddler x F!Therapist Reader

You are the only redeeming thing about being tossed back into this hellhole.

It is an absolute game for the two of you to trick the other workers and inmates at Arkham. You two constantly spoke in code and riddles of your own, and nobody was known the wiser.

Ed doesn’t want this to be a Joker and Harley repeat. No, no, no, this was much more smart and refined. 

You entertain his riddles even when he added his own morbid twists to them. 

Ed would throw in a few flirty riddles here and there to see you giggle, whenever touching you was out of the question. 

Whenever he went into your office, it was difficult to keep his physical touches to a minimum. He would touch and kiss you wherever and whenever he could, all the while bearing in mind the guards will come in at any moment to retrieve him. 

He would never admit it, but you are one of the main reasons he was able to get back up on his feet to face the Dark Knight again. 

You are the only one who could truly console him whenever he was defeated by Batman, and you actually heard him out. 

You understood, no, you appreciate his intellectual superiority. You actually saw his brilliance and validate him. You are absolutely priceless to him, but he would never say it outright.

Zero Year Riddler x F!Therapist Reader

Unlike Arkhamverse Eddie, this dickhead flirts with you willingly and openly. He has no shame and he won’t hide his obvious attraction to you.

Your annoyance often reads into disgust so there’s no way of anyone discovering you actually adore the ginger-headed asshole. 

It took all the patience in the world to keep your professionalism in tact, and not slap the shit out of him.

He will sweet talk during the entire session, asking for favors and treats. Of course, you deny him this, but he’ll be smirking knowing he’ll get what he asks for within the next couple of days. 

Ed adores one on one sessions with you in your office. He’s an absolute tease, knowing you two only have fifteen minutes at most, most of the time. 

He made you a frustrated, turned-on, wet mess when you guys had a thirty-minute session, but best believe he got what he wanted like always. 

He got frustrated whenever they would move him from facility to facility, in an attempt to keep him from escaping. It wouldn’t be so much of an issue but you were only admitted to giving treatment at Arkham. 

It wasn’t until he threw a full-on tantrum and refused to cooperate that you were allowed access to the other penitentiaries they housed him in.

He drives you absolutely mad, but you couldn’t deny the little flips your heart did whenever he grinned at you. Or how he made you wobbly in the knees with his touch and kisses. 

BTAS Riddler x F!Therapist Reader

This man gets absolutely giddy when you come around, even at the mention of your name. It takes everything in him not to show it. 

You were the only therapist that was able to get him to calm down after his breakdown in the aftermath of Riddler’s Reform. You helped him solve how Batman escaped and survived. 

He forever appreciates you after that. Constantly asking you riddles, and being pleased when you solved them. 

Edward was instantly smitten, sometimes the roles of who asked the questions switched, as he too asked many questions about you. He has to know everything about you. 

It was fair to say the feelings were definitely mutual. You found yourself enjoying his company and falling for his charming personality. 

This Ed would also treat your secret liaison like a game. Hiding compliments behind riddles and putting on a dramatic act of despising you to trick those around you. 

Whenever you two would have office sessions, he was always quick to make up for whatever he may have said under the act. You often teased him about how he almost made you believe what he said. 

This Edward would definitely push the envelope when in public view; holding your hand longer, sometimes rubbing his thumb against your wrist, sneaking in kisses on your hand or cheek when the guards turned away.

You constantly chastise him for this, but neither of you can deny the smile on both your lips. It was truly entertaining to see just how far you two could go.

[notoriousbeb]

TTPD Thoughts - The Manuscript (Pt. 1)

TTPD Notes Glossary

"Fortnight"  

Definitely written in the spring of 2023. I think the video was shot in the fall.  

The concept of treason/being a traitor comes up in reference to Harry in 1989 as well (“you dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor”)  

In the music video, the typewriter Taylor is using is missing the 1 key (like the song “The 1”?) and she leaves several blank spaces in her writing of “I love you, it’s ruining my life” (perhaps a nod to the “Blank Space” song?)  

When Taylor and Post Malone are laying in the Taylor head silhouette it's a callback to the "Style" music video from the original 1989 era, where the Harry stand in guy is standing on a beach in a silhouette of Taylor's head.  

You know who is tattooed and kinda hot and thus a good Harry stand in a MV? Posty.  

I think she's envisioning a kind of nightmare future of being trapped in the metaphorical neighborhood that is their small industry and having to watch him move on while she continues to love him (ugh. thanks, it's beautiful and sounds awesome and i hate it).  

The last new album, "Midnights,” ends with "Hits Different,” on the line, "Is that your key in the door, down the hallway? Is that your key in the door, is it okay? Is it you? Or have they come to take me away? To take me away?" First line of Fortnight, the first song on TTPD? "I was supposed to be sent away but they forgot to come and get me.”  

A slight diversion into "Hits Different" and why I've always believed it's about Harry:  She's clubbing, so that narrows down the choices right away to either Harry or Calvin, but based on how she went right from Calvin to Tom to Joe and was definitely not heartbroken enough to be puking, but rather immediately enamored with someone else....We learn that, technically, she broke up with him ("curse the space that I needed") but she's devastated. Like "I broke my own heart, cuz you were too polite to do it?" This really seals it as 1989 Harry to me.  

“The Tortured Poets Department”  

Definitely written in the spring of 2023  

“Who else decodes you?” reminds me of how Harry called their back-and-forth song writing to/about each other (cue the “Fortnight” typewriter smoke battle) “the most amazing unspoken dialogue ever.”  

A “tattooed golden retriever?” I mean… come the fuck on. That’s a Harry descriptor if I’ve ever seen one.  

“You’re in self-sabotage mode, throwing spikes down on the road, but I’ve seen this episode and I still love the show.” “You awaken with dread pounding nails in your head. But I’ve read this one where you come undone." These aren’t the words of someone who merely wondered about what it would be like to be with a friend or acquaintance. These are two people who deeply know each other and have been together before.  

Also, Harry has documented anxiety that she’s also sung about it previously (“did you get anxious though, on the drive home?” - Now That We Don’t Talk)  

I hate and love the fact that they both told people they would kill themselves if it didn’t work out. I hate it, because that’s a terrible, dumb plan. But I love the passion. Also, who is Lucy? Was he taking to Lucy from Boygenius? That Lucy openly dislikes Matty on main, so I think it’s weird people are using her as a proof point that this song is about him. Did Taylor change that particular name here because it would have been a dead giveaway for this song being about Harry?  (Someone like, Ed, perhaps?)

“My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys  

Probably written in spring 2023  

She refers to the muse as the “sickest (I believe this is a double meaning as in cool and also having mental illness issues) army doll purchased at the mall.”  

You ever seen a G.I. Joe under the fatigues? They don’t look like a pasty ex heroin addict. They do look like a certain former boy-bander from Manchester, though. Just saying.  

“Oh, here we go again,” “put me back on my shelf,” “we could’ve played for keeps this time,” “I knew too much/there was danger in the heat of my touch,” “he saw forever so he smashed it up.” Again, these are things you say about someone you’ve been with before, on and off, not someone you saw in concert twice and worked with once. You, especially, don’t see forever with someone after only 20 days.  

“But you should’ve seen him when he first got me.” We did see Matty. Was there someone else in the background who, perhaps, we did not see? Perhaps a certain curly haired former Boy Bander?

“‘Cause it fit too right/Puzzles pieces in the dead of night.” Hmm. Doesn’t sound like the mediocre sex described in “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived” to me

Want to know what lines had me crying in the club on my sad girl walk? “Just say when—I’d play again. He was my best friend down at the sand lot.” Again, these are two people who know each other very well, and have for a long time.