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littledreamling · 2 years

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Now on AO3!

"Hob," Dream called out, in that tone. It was a tone that Hob had learned meant that Dream was confused, utterly and entirely, but he didn't want to admit it. Hob was, as always, more than happy to help. It wasn't often that his lover asked for help and while he couldn't exactly call Dream's odd and often ill-timed questions pleas for help, he knew Dream's understanding of the Waking often depended on his steadfast and reliable answers.

"Yes, love?"

"What is this... Goncharov?"

Hob was suddenly very glad that Dream was lounging on the couch, safely out of sight of the kitchen, where Hob was currently questioning every life choice that had led him to this moment. He placed his mug of coffee (thankfully empty enough to have not spilled all over him during his knee-jerk, full-body convulsion of silent laughter at his lover's question) on the counter (to save it from further spillage risks) and, once he had schooled his face as best as he could, popped his head around the corner to glance at Dream, who was engrossed in something on Hob's phone. Scrolling through social media, no doubt, given the topic at hand.

"It's uhh... a movie from the 70's, if I remember correctly," Hob said, as smoothly as possible. "Something about the mafia? It was sort of a cult classic, but I'm not surprised you haven't heard of it. It had it's little blip of fame and then faded back into obscurity pretty quickly. Why?"

"It has gained something of a resurgence, it seems," Dream mused without looking up, a fact that Hob was eternally grateful for. He wasn't sure his facial expression was even remotely close to anything that could be called innocent. One glance from Dream and the game would be up. "There have been many dreams about it in the past few days. Something about clocks and apples and lit cigarettes. I was simply wondering after your opinion on it."

"Oh, it was Al Pacino in his prime. It came out right before The Godfather, if I remember correctly. God, I haven't heard anything about it in years," Hob lied through his teeth, trying desperately to keep the grin off of his lips and the laughter from bubbling up in his chest. "Might be fun to rewatch it. Like I said, it kind of flopped when it came out; I'm glad that it's getting the attention it deserves, even if it is fifty years too late."

At that, Dream did look up, something like affront in his eyes.

"There is no such thing as too late for a story, Hob," he said, not unkindly. "A story always has time to be told. So long as the story remains, its message persists. The revival of a story is an inevitability in its lifetime; they never die, they simply twist and evolve. That this particular story is garnering such avid, new attention after so long is a comfort."

Well, now Hob felt bad. His playful teases shriveled in the face of such a display of sincerity and emotion from his beloved. It burned through Hob's heart, scorching away the last traces of mirth and leaving only soft love in its wake. It must have shown in his face, in the quirk of his fond smile, in the gentle warmth of his eyes, because Dream set his phone aside and reached a hand out, an invitation and demand all in one, and Hob snorted lightly. You could take the Endless out of the Dreaming, but you couldn't take the Dreaming out of the Endless; he was a King through and through. Luckily for Dream, Hob was as devoted as a knight and he went easily, as if pulled by puppet strings to Dream's side.

---

Later, loose-limbed and buried under a veritable mountain of blankets in Hob's bed and embrace, Dream was back to scrolling. Hob didn't hold it against him--being disconnected from the Waking world for so long must have been disorienting, especially with the technological advances of the twentieth and twenty-first century, and Hob couldn't answer every question his lover had. The internet was by far the better source of niche information and Hob was humble enough to admit it.

He could feel the moment, however, that the internet betrayed him. Dream stiffened in his arms and Hob bit at the inside of his lips to keep from chuckling.

"You are many things, Hob Gadling," Dream said lowly, "but I never took you for a liar."

And then Hob really did laugh. He couldn't help it; it rose in his stomach like champagne bubbles, bursting with tinkling joy. By the time he caught his breath, there were tears pricking at the corners of his eyes and Dream was huffing in laughter next to him.

"I'm sorry, love, I didn't mean to," Hob gasped, breathless from the hilarity of the situation. "It was just-"

"A meme," Dream said, all traces of anger gone from his voice. "So this Goncharov, it never existed?"

"I'm afraid not."

"That is a shame," Dream mused. "I had found myself quite looking forward to seeing it."

Hob pressed his lips, and with them, his fond smile, to Dream's hair.

"Perhaps you could inspire its creation," he said. "After all, stories must start somewhere, right?"

And if Hob dreamed of a flickering flame igniting two cigarettes, of bloody hands clenched around a gun, of a clock tower in the snow, well... he had always suspected that his sleeping mind was Dream's testing ground. Perhaps, one day, far in the future, they would reap the benefits of Dream's tests. Perhaps, one day, far in the future, Goncharov would take shape and take hold in someone's mind. Perhaps, one day, far in the future, they would be able to see Goncharov in all of its revived glory.

But for now, it was merely a dream, a whisper of potential in a collective mind. Perhaps, one day...

#y'all when I tell you I FLEW to my keyboard to write this #the entire goncharov thing is absolutely sending me and I think Hob would have so much fun with the memes #this is so stupid and definitely softer than I intended it to be #but oh well #this is probably riddled with typos #and I’m sorry for inflicting this upon all of you #but not really #it’s one of the stupidest things I’ve ever written but I’m oddly proud of it #dream of the endless #morpheus #hob gadling #dreamling #the sandman #sandman netflix #goncharov #unreality

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troybarnesbabygirlconfirmed · 2 years

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setting: troy has finally docked in LA, and annie has given him abed’s address in an attempt at a surprise.

troy, to himself: i think this is the right one

troy: *knocks on abed’s door*

abed, opening the door: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

troy, confused: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING??!!?!?!!?

abed: I DIDN’T EXPECT YOU TO BE HERE!!!! WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING??!???

troy: I DIDN’T EXPECT YOU TO BE HERE!!!!

abed: THIS IS MY HOUSE!!!! WHY DID YOU NOT EXPECT ME TO BE IN MY HOUSE?!?!?!!

#trobed #abed nadir #community #troy and abed #troy barnes #community nbc #annie edison #trobedison #this is the stupidest thing i’ve ever written #im genuinely crying #i love them #abed would never act like this though #he’s batman #expect the unexpected

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fellow-fandom-fruitifier · 1 year

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“-and what do you plan to do? Make everything worse?” Peng’s taunting was silence by a loud BANG. Pend crumpled faster than a lawn chair, biting back a scream. Everyone turned around shocked to see Red Son holding a glock, a suspiciously hand shaped shadow retreating. Well, at least they know who he got it from. “I am not going to sit here through another abhorrent villain dialog. They want to act as uncivilized peasants? Then they will get treated as an uncivilized peasants,” Red Son spoke petulantly. They all collectively ignored the pained sounds the golden winged bird was making. “Red Son. It’s a fucking gun,” Mei stated. “I am more than well aware.”

#LMK #lmk red son #lmk mei #lmk mk #lmk six eared macaque #lmk peng #this has 2 b 1 of the stupidest things I’ve ever written #bcz I wanted 2 give Red Son ‘fire power’#and bcz you can not convince 6EM doesn’t have a variety of not-so-legal things #guy probably collects that shit like Pokémon cards #gotta catch ‘em all #MK and 6EM aren’t rlly there #more mentioned/implied #Tetris Writes Skrunklies

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teamfortresstwo · 9 months

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Freddy Wokebear be like “Let me into your office or I will sue for discrimination”

#this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever written

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traumatizedbyeggsandwich · 6 months

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I think I have to write. Another email.

#this will be the stupidest email that I’ve EVER written. sent is another thing. outta my pay grade #gross #personal log

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milflewis · 1 year

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gonna dump a few on you pick whatever inspires u!

makkinen - there's got to be some way to get them fake married

“Hmm.” Niki looks over the piece of paper for a beat longer before putting it back down on the table, tapping it with a back of a knuckle. “You have said this to people?”

Michael glances at Mika, who just shrugs at him, eyebrows raised. Michael isn’t sure exactly how old you need to be before you start forgetting things but he was fairly sure Niki is too young for that. “Yes,” he says slowly. “Did you not see the media announcement? It was sent to you.”

Niki cuts him a look, eyes sharp. “I did. You did not write that. Too polite.”

“I did,” Mika interrupts before Michael can protest. “Ehm. I had help, but. I did.”

Niki hums, watching them. Michael doesn’t shift in his seat on the couch. Mika is a long line of heat and muscle beside him, knees pressed together, shorts riding up. Niki can think what he wants.

“We asked the teams and they — we — think it was be best to. To be first. Because the — marriage is public. You know. Obviously.”

“Obviously,” Niki repeats, and briefly looks up at the ceiling, mouth pressed tightly together. He looks back down. Raps the same knuckle on their marriage certificate. “Legal or HR did not see it.”

Michael hesitates, looking at Mika. He is frowning, the same realisation dawning on him. “No? Do they want it?” Michael tries again when Niki says nothing. “It is not — there was no plan — we were drinking.” He sets his jaw. “We are not getting rid of it.” Michael is barely able to conceptualise who Mika is to him in his own head, let alone to Mika himself, or, worse, Niki. “We are good with it.”

Mika says nothing but he doesn’t move from beside Michael either. Michael doesn’t need him to. He knows he agrees.

“That is good then.” Niki is grinning suddenly, and Michael’s stomach sinks. “Because this certificate is fake so you have two choices. Take it back. Say you were wrong. It was a joke. Whatever. Or keep pretending.”

#this is one of the stupidest things i’ve ever written. thank u #makkinen #little fics #c tag #niamh.asks

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skywitchmaja · 1 year

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succ finale

EXT. NYC - DAY

A PORTAL swirls over the ATN building casting it in a sickly greenish-blue glow. KENDALL ROY pilots a bitchin MECH SUIT with hover pads, laser canons, the works. SHIV and ROMAN ROY pilot similar mech suits. But so does LOGAN ROY’S CRYOGENICALLY PRESERVED HEAD. and his mech suit is bigger, badder, bitchier than the rest, with turbo speed boosters and mega laser canons.

Logan faces his kids. There’s only one of him against three of them, but his shadow looms large, because his mech is fucking huge. Half a parking garage worth of luxury cars and at least two private jets have been sucked into the portal. Another garage worth of cars are strewn across the streets of New York like matchbox cars that a toddler is having a tantrum about being asked to clean up.

LOGAN:

You idiots don’t know fuck all about portals! You couldn’t just throw a couple bus loads full of hourly employees into the portal to slow it down, and now it’s going to swallow the whole building—Everything I’ve built for you. And now I have to clean up after you.

SHIV:

Uh, sure, Dad. We don’t know anything about portals. Because throwing stuff into portals totally slows them down, right? it doesn’t feed them and make them worse or anything.

KENDALL:

It’s over Dad. The time for SUCCESSION is NOW.

LOGAN:

Death is nothing to me. Do you think you three failures and some fucking portal will stop me? Logan is Logan forever.

ROMAN:

Eugh. Okay sure you’re like, richer than god and that mean you’re basically immortal right? Wellllll, guess what? We’re rich too, and there’s three of us.

SHIV:

You do have the keen business sense to know that three is more than one, don’t you?

CLANG! Shiv and Roman fist bump.

TOM: (OS)

THAT’S where you’re wrong!

TOM and GREG appear in their own mech suits.

GREG:

Ha ha yeah, three is only more than one until you add two more. Because two plus one is three.

TOM AND LOGAN:

Shut up, Craig.

Upon realizing they said the same words at the same time, they share a brief but loaded glance.

SHIV:

Really, Tom? You’re going to side with my dead, robot dad over me again?

TOM:

Hi honey…

MEANWHILE the portal is growing bigger and bigger, having swallowed the penthouse/executive suite level of the ATN building.

LOGAN:

That’s enough of this bullshit!

He COCKS his MEGA LASER CANON and in doing so, elbows Tom, who falls onto Greg, sending them both toppling backwards INTO THE PORTAL.

ROMAN:

I bet he got his stupid boxy mech suit from men’s warehouse too, what a loser.

The siblings laugh for longer than this joke is funny. Which isn’t THAT long but it’s long enough to feel awkward.

Shiv discreetly brushes away a tear— it’s hard to tell whether it’s from grief or laughter, but when she looks back up, she wears an expression of cold acceptance. This was always how it was going to end.

While they’re distracted, Logan throws a BUS at them.

LOGAN:

When you three are done with your hyena impression, I have a city to destroy!!

Kendall saws the bus in half with his ENERGY SWORD.

KENDALL:

Uh, don’t you mean save?

LOGAN:

What does it fucking look like I mean?

Logan shoots a MEGA LASER at Kendall, knocking off one of Kendall’s laser canons.

SHIV:

Yeah, because you always communicate your intentions so clearly, and follow up on them exactly how you said you would, right? I don’t know how we could possibly misinterpret anything you’ve ever said or done.

ROMAN:

And we’re communicating this—

He tries to flip Logan off with his mech suit, but his hands are laser canons, so he just fires at the sky.

ROMAN:

BLehhh.

An EPIC MECH BATTLE ensues, choreographed by someone who knows things about action movies and mech suits and fight choreography.

The kids are looking tired, sweaty, battered, worn, but Logan’s cryogenically preserved head lacks some of the weaknesses of the living human body, he is going strong.

LOGAN:

You will never SUCCEED ME!

Logan aims his laser canon at Kendall, but right before he fires, jolts it towards Roman.

Kendall jumps in front of Roman, blocking the laser but losing his energy sword arm.

KENDALL:

What the fuck is your problem?

LOGAN:

I love you kids too much— that’s my problem.

ROMAN:

Wow, thanks.

It’s unclear whether he’s saying this sincerely to Kendall, sarcastically to Logan, or sincerely to Logan. Or sarcastically to Kendall.

ROMAN:

But Ken, you’re fucking, uh, sword/arm.

KENDALL:

It’s okay. Where I’m going, I won’t need it.

ROMAN AND SHIV:

Nooo, don’t sacrifice yourself to defeat our dad and close the portal.

KENDALL:

What? I wasn’t gonna do that. I was talking about the ROY-BOT

KENDALL SHIV AND ROMAN:

MEGA ULTRA ROY-BOT GO!!!

Kendall, Shiv and Roman’s mech suits LEAP into a power ranger style SUPER mech suit, with Shiv and Roman each operating an arm/weapon, and Kendall manning the legs.

LOGAN:

Ohh look at that you combined your robots. Do you want a prize for sharing your toys? Do you think team work is going to save you? Don’t make me laugh.

Logan swings his canon arms towards his front. They lock together forming an ULTRA MEGA SUPER DEADLY LASER CANON.

The portal has stripped the ATN building down to its foundations, and taken sizable chunks out of surrounding buildings.

Shiv and Roman ready their own guns. It looks like this is it— kids versus parent, Roy versus Roys, the final showdown has come down to the final blow.

Before anyone can fire, KENDALL ROMAN SHIV AND LOGAN are ALL SUCKED INTO THE PORTAL.

The portal GURGLES and WHIRLS, expanding and folding rapidly, like a sick, alien heartbeat or a particularly aggressive flickering fluorescent light. It looks for a moment that the portal might take the entire city, but after one last pulse, the portal collapses in on itself and BLINKS out of existence.

The streets are strewn with wreckage. Without the roar of the portal, the city seems quiet. Even the car alarms seem musical after the chaos before.

One woman climbs out of the wreckage, unscathed. She takes a look at the damage, brushes off her skirt, sighs, and pull out her phone to start dealing with all the emails she’s going to get about this. WHO’S that girl? It’s JESS!

#all of this for one silly little new girl joke i hope someone laughs or smiles a little bit or exhales in a short burst that’s almost laught #er but not quite #this is probably the stupidest thing i’ve ever written— other people are much better at replicating their speech patterns than me oof #succession #i don’t. know. sorry.

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indigoipsum · 2 years

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Black. Butler in 2023: sir would you like some warm oatmilk with natural agave syrup 😂😂😂😂

#the liberals got to Kuroshitsuji !!#Ciel also works for Biden!#kuroshitsuji #stupidest thing I’ve ever written

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myrabbitistrying2killme · 2 years

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If you could merge any two animals together with absolutely no extreme consequences/detrimental environment effects but soley for the chaos/joy it would bring what two animals would you choose

Personally raccoons and parrots would be an awful/amazing combination. But specifically raccoons and parrots combined into talking raccoons with the ability to fly.

They still live in urban areas in this scenario so like:

Raccoons flying at ur window squeaking “trash, trash” over and over again.

#shitpost #stupid #animals #racoons #parrots #this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever written

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brnesblogposts · 7 months

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cootitis

(this is the stupidest thing i’ve ever written.)

bucky barnes x reader & avengers

a/nthis is another conversation i just had on character ai that was funny so i’m turning it into a fic

this turned out to be shit but i’m posting it anyway.

———

It was two in the morning and the two of you were standing outside your room when a figure appeared in the hall “Wha—“

Your heads whipped around to find Peter wide eyed and jaw hanging open staring at you both. Bucky instantly tensed up and you fought to come up with an excuse.. “GOODNIGHT!” You shouted abruptly before running back into your room. Bucky remained stood, stiff as a board staring at Peter awkwardly, “Were you guys..?” Peter raised an eyebrow and his voice went all high and squeaky because he felt awkward at what he’d walked into. Bucky shifted on his feet and coughed out a “No” before turning on his heel ready to walk away when another voice made an appearance—

“Barnes?” fuck it’s Stark Bucky thought to himself. Bucky coughs awkwardly “Oh hey” He smiles coyly because he doesn’t know what else to do.

Tony eyes him up noticing he’s standing outside your room in just a pair of boxers.

“Mr Stark I think Bucky and Y/n were um.. kissing..” Peters voice is still squeaky. Tony’s eyes go wide as he whips his head to find Bucky trying to walk away “Barnes.” Bucky stops in his tracks and is as still as a statue. You’re on the other side of the door eavesdropping of course and decide to help Bucky out by opening your door and stepping out into the hallway..

“Oh, hey guys! Nobody told me there was a party going on out here in the hall!” You may just be the worst liar on the planet. Bucky’s eyes shoot to you from where he’s stood and then to Peter and Tony.

“Do you care to explain why you’re both as red as tomatoes right now?” Tony has a smirk on his face, he’s finding this quite entertaining. Bucky says nothing because he can’t come up with anything and quickly you spit out “We were um— we were having a competition to see who could hold their breath the longest..” what. You think to yourself.

“Is that right?” Tony is full on smiling now “May i ask who won?” he’s feigning curiosity. You shift awkwardly and look around “Uhm Bucky because you know.. super soldier serum and all that. Was close though, we had several complications but he is undefeated so far—“ SHUT UP you thought to yourself because you were rambling now. Bucky grunted in agreement heavily avoiding looking Tony in the eye.

“So you have these competitions at 2am often?” Tony looks so relaxed as he’s interrogating the both of you, you want to strangle him. Another awkward silence passes, “Uhhh no, one time thing.” You hold your chin up high as if it will help.

“Mr Stark..” Peter looks up to Tony “I feel like they’re lying.” Tony smiles down at Peter “I think we can continue this conversation in the morning, don’t you all agree?” Bucky is nodding frantically and you shoot Tony with a thumbs up.

“Right, Parker go to bed.” Tony says to Peter who nods and walks away “And you two.. better start planning some better excuses for the morning.” He grins and goes back to his room. Bucky and you don’t say another word as you part ways and he goes back to his room.

———-—————— breakfast ———————-

Everyone is sitting at the table, an awkward silence lingers between Tony, Peter, Bucky and yourself. Everyone else seems to notice and keeps glancing at all of you, “Who died?” Clint breaks the silence. It goes silent again before Tony coughs and looks to you and Bucky waiting for one of you to speak up, neither of you do.

“LAST NIGHT I CAUGHT BUCKY LEAVING Y/N’s ROOM, TONY AND I THINK THEY WERE KISSING” Peter lets out a breath as if holding that in was eating him alive. It probably was. The table goes silent again as cutlery clashes from people dropping their forks or spoons and looking at the both of you. If possible Bucky and yourself sink into your seats just waiting for the floor to swallow you whole.

“Excuse me?” Natasha is smiling.

Steve is simply staring at his best friend processing what he’s just heard.

“We weren’t kissing.” You spoke abruptly and went back to picking at your food.

“Why are you both blushing so much?” Clint asks while smiling, this seems to be entertaining for all of them.

“Uh you know— allergies.” Bucky is sitting in silence letting you suffer everyone’s questions.

“Allergies?” Tony inquires and you nod, “That doesn’t make any sense—“ He continues but you interrupt “Yes it does.” The way you say it is incredibly unconvincing.

“Why is Bucky’s face also red if you have allergies?” Natasha smirks as she asks you, “They’re um— contagious allergies..” You lie through your teeth.

“Contagious?” Clint and Steve ask in unison, “Yeah.” You’re panicking.

“What are these allergies called?” Tony is practically grinning as he asks.

“It’s uh it’s called um Cootitis. very serious stuff” You blurt out and are met with snickers as everyone tries holding in their laughter and Bucky looks at you absolutely perplexed.

“Cootitis..?” Tony asks with a serious tone while holding in his laugh. You look stern as you say “Yes and I must have passed it onto Bucky in passing” avoiding eye contact as you say that because you don’t even believe yourself.

“Well this sounds like a new disease we know nothing about. I think it’s best Bruce and I take you both to the med bay and run some tests.. like take some bloo—“

He doesn’t get to finish before you blurt out “FINE. BUCKY AND I WERE KISSING” because he knew your fear of needles would invoke you.

“I KNEW IT.” Peter screams as Tony leans back in his chair with his arms crossed and the widest smile on his face. You sit back defeated letting out a long sigh.

“Well why didn’t you just say that from the start?” Steve asks and you both give him an evil look. It goes back to awkward silence now that the secret is out except for the secret glances you and Bucky give each other throughout the day, earning scoffs and fake gags from your co workers.

—————————————

reblogs appreciated :)

#writerblr #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x fluff #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fic

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bookyeom · 1 year

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Seventeen Fic Recs (September 2023)

Hello everyone! I wanted to make an official post to share some of my favourite Seventeen x Reader fics that I’ve read lately, or ones that have continued to stay on my mind. I guarantee I’m going to miss a bunch of them because there are so many talented people on this website, but I plan to make another one of these soon!

(Also, a side plug for my own fics here. I’ve finally gotten around to posting some of my writing, and hope to continue, so if you want to have a browse and reblog/message me your thoughts, please feel free!)

@wqnwoos first up, I wanted to shoutout Hana for all of her writing. I’m going to include some of my favourite recent drabbles, but I literally love all of them, so please go read everything over on her blog. A couple of my faves here, here, here, here and here.

Secondly, I need to shoutout @savventeen: Savv!!! You know how I feel about your writing, and I need to include my favourite Dino fic of all time immediately or I WILL burst: Got My Heart in My Feet (Cause They Lead Me to You) aka one of my favourite fics in any fandom ever. I cannot express how many times I have read this.

The rest below the cut:

Promise Ring by @lovelyhan - Dino x Reader, F2L royalty/fantasy au aka two of my all time favourite things put together, smut at the end

The Physics of Love by @cheolism - As a DK bias, I have such a hard time finding DK fics, but this one… This is it. This is the one. DK x Reader, F2L (god, I really have a type)

Coming home by @fairyhaos - DK x Reader, Established Relationship

Under the Collar by @miraclewoozi - Go read this fic immediately, but don’t talk to me about it unless you want me to cry. DK x Reader, F2??

What? Like It’s Hard? By @starsstuddedsky - THEE Hoshy fic. Hoshi x Reader, F2L/idiots-to-lovers, Star I love ur mind

These Endless Summer Nights by @blossom-hwa - One of my favourite Hoshi x Reader fics. Absolutely stunning. S2L, smut if i recall correctly, summer romance

2.22AM by @secndlife - Hoshi x Reader, F2??

Burn, Palace, Burn by @fairyhaos - So this was written as part of the 2k celebration (!!!) and I loved it so much, but everything Yena writes is iconic tbh so go read them all. This one in particular is a Jeonghan x Reader historical/fantasy au and… hehehe. See for yourself

“I Know, But Don’t Say It” by @taetaespeaches - Jeonghan x Reader, angst, ouchie, so good.

Heart is Full of Fairy Lights by @savventeen - Another one by the inimitable Savv. Joshua x Reader, Friends/Roomates-to-Lovers

Golden Hour by @dkfile - Joshua x Reader, F2L

you are my kingdom by @fairyhaos - Jun x Reader, royalty au

Other People’s Weddings by @neoneun-au - Seungcheol x Reader. Fake dating. Help

You say the stupidest (sweetest) things by @savventeen - Seungkwan x Reader, F2L. Look, I know this wasn’t solely written for me, but it was requested by me, therefore I claim this as mine and Seungkwan’s life story. xoxo

On Idiocy, Bugs and the Prospect Of Forever by @wqnwoos - Vernon x Reader, F2L, one of my favourite lil Vernon fics ever tbh

Every Page is Empty by @neoneun-au - Another one of my favourite fics, ever. Vernon x Reader, F2L

Sure by @beahae - Why am I just now realizing that all of my favourite fics are Vernon fics? No comment… Anyway! THIS FIC!!!!!!!!! Wow. WOW. Vernon x Reader, F2L, smut, absolutely stunning

Tidal by @eoieopda - Vernon x Reader, established relationship, smut (it’s just smut but it’s SO CUTE HELP)

Don’t Sweat It by @miraclewoozi - Aka the best Lee Jihoon fic ever written. Woozi x Reader, S2L, smut, I’m obsessed with them

The Spring to Your Smile by @wooahaes - This is a link to all the members’ parts of this series. Loved every single one of them! Genre changes based on member :)

All of @nonranghaes little drabbles hit deep (go read them all) but here and here are two faves!!

A/N: awful, horrible, terrible Hao, Wonwoo and Mingyu slander here. I am so disorganized and couldn’t find any of the fics I wanted to post, so they will be back in earnest in the next one, I swear it.

#Seventeen masterlist #Seventeen fic #seventeen fic recs #seventeen angst #seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #fic rec masterlist

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anama-cara · 9 months

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fight club (dark!joel miller x f!reader; dead dove do not eat)

Summary: Post outbreak set in the Boston QZ. You decide to go against Joel in an underground QZ fight club for some extra coin. Joel doesn't take kindly to the competition and decides to punish you in his own special way. Word count: 3.6k

Warnings/tags: Dead Dove Do Not Eat. 18+ minors dni. Unprotected PIV, fingering (f receiving), slapping, choking, hair pulling, violence, blood, degradation, curse word, age gap, dark content, noncon, dubcon.

a/n: This is the darkest one I’ve written so far so let me know what you think. Author is 18+ Written for #deaddovedecember2023 hosted by @romana-after-dark

You’ve had your fair share of blunders and brushes with death, but this has got to be one of the stupidest things you’ve ever done. But you’re desperate. Really freaking desperate. And desperate people throw out all caution and logic and good old fashioned common sense. So here you are, sweaty hair plastered to your forehead, heart racing, knuckles bloody. And you’re about to make another terrible mistake.

You’ve been in the Boston QZ for about 2 years now and every side hustle and grift you’ve tried has ultimately failed. One of your fellow con artists mentioned some back-alley action, an illegal underground fight club. So you follow his direction to the hideout, through an alley to the back of an abandoned building and down the stairs to the basement. You think the place must have been used for storage before, its mostly unfinished. It’s a large square room with low ceilings. All the furniture has been pushed to the sides of the room, leaving the center open. There’s a mob of people shouting and cheering, mostly large men but you spot a couple of females too. You recognize a few faces amongst the crowd as smugglers you’ve previously dealt with. There are a few lamps in the corners of the room but it’s still dimly lit. There’s a poker table pushed up against the wall, bottles of alcohol, and a caged rooster in the back. You guess this place does everything – speakeasy, gambling, cock fighting, and the ring.

There’s smoke in the air that burns your eyes and when you walk little clouds of dust follow in your footsteps. The smell of sweat, alcohol, and cigarettes engulfs your senses. The place is packed and noisy with swearing and shouting. You push through a throng of people to get to the bookie sitting on a high stool in the corner. She’s wearing a red and black flannel with black jeans and combat boots. She nods to you as you approach.

“Never seen you here, but if you’re here that means one of us trusted you enough let you in. Welcome. So, what can I do for you? Who ya bettin’ on?” She nods to the ring.

Ring is a generous term. Really it’s a cleared away area in the center of the room with a white circle on the floor drawn in chalk. There are two burly men inside fighting it out, fists flailing and blood flying. You notice that one has several teeth missing and cauliflower ear. He seems to be winning.

You turn back to her. “I’m not betting, I’m here to fight.”

She pauses to read your face and once she sees you’re serious she chuckles. She looks you up and down, taking in your skinny arms and round unscarred face. She holds out her hand. “The name’s Tess.”

You take her hand with a firm grip.

“Alright girl, you’re in. But I hope you know what you’re doing.” She gives you all the rules. Basically, you win if your opponent steps out of the ring or they don’t get up after a 10 second count. “I’ll be rootin’ for ya.” She says as you turn to leave. She sounds sincere.

You’re already starting to feel sick. Your stomach is turning, you’re so nauseous and the loud noises and metallic smell of blood isn’t helping. You go to a corner room, as far away as possible, and sit on a flipped over crate to wait. You’re wearing a loose t-shirt with your green cargo jacket overtop, black leggings, and your combat boots. You watch your swinging feet, trying to calm your nerves and not think about the sound of crunching bone you just heard. You wonder whose nose was just broken, Big Guy or Toothless.

As you’re sitting, zoning out, you feel someone walk up beside you. Your head snaps up.

“Hi there.”

Now this is a face you definitely don’t know. You’d remember him. He’s probably in his late 40’s, tall and broad shouldered with patchy facial hair, a strong nose and jaw line, and a pinched brow that makes it look like he’s permanently scowling. But there’s something in his dark brown eyes that catches your attention. It’s alluring and yet it makes you very uneasy. There’s a danger hidden there. He sits on the crate next to you with a sigh. He’s wearing jeans and a tight grey t-shirt that shows off his sculped chest and hugs his tanned biceps. That catches your attention too. You watch his muscles flex as he lowers himself onto the crate. Maybe you’re staring too long. He kicks you crate with a heavy boot.

“Hello?”

Even his voice is entrancing, gruff, dark, masculine, with a thick Texan accent. You blink and clear your throat. “Hi.” You say flatly. You try to appear confident and nonchalant, like you’re bored with this whole thing. Like you’re not scared shitless right now. You’re trying to convince yourself just as much as him.

“You come here often?” He asks and you can’t help but smile at the lame joke. His eyes move to your lips as you smile and his own form a wicked grin. It scares you. Your mouth falls back.

“Um no, this is my first time here. My first match in the ring.”

“You’re fighting?” He sounds equally surprised and impressed. His eyes light up and that predatory grin appears on his face again. “Little thing like you… going up against these grown men. You must be one tough little girl.”

You shift your weight, his words making you uncomfortable.

He quietly adds, “How I like ‘em. A fighter.”

Before you get a chance to respond there’s a roar of the crowd and you watch as they drag a body from the ring and prop him against the wall. You hope he’s just unconscious. You turn back to the stranger but he’s gone. The crowd quiets and you hear Tess call out, “Next round is against my partner Joel. Y’all know Joel. Any takers?”

You get to your feet. The crowd is too thick to see the opponent in the ring. But you don’t even care to see what he looks like first, no point sizing him up. You know all these fighters will be bigger and stronger than you. You have to do it now before you lose the small amount of courage you have left. You can’t sit still any longer.

“Here.” You call out. As you walk to the ring you tell yourself over and over again that they may have more muscle, but you rely on your speed and your skill.

You push through the circle of onlookers, most don’t even seem to notice you or bother to move out of the way. You’re too short to see over their heads so you raise your hand in the air and repeat, “here!” Finally they part. Faces look down at you as you pass and you can read the looks of disbelief and amusement in their eyes. You step over the line of chalk and face Tess. “I challenge,” you say in your most confident voice. Tess looks uncertain, even worried for you. Her throat bobs and she looks like she might say something, but instead she just nods. You turn to face your opponent. Oh shit, it’s the stranger. Joel. You know his name now. He’s giving you that horrible predatory grin again as he looks you up and down shamelessly. He’s so cocky it boils your blood.

“Well look who it is, Newbie.”

You snarl in response but he just laughs at you.

“Begin,” Tess announces.

You start circling each other, moving clockwise as you study each other’s movements, looking for the right time to pounce. You kick up dust as you slide your feet. Your boot catches on something sticky, dried blood. You push the thought from your mind, concentrating on watching Joel. You observe his muscles flexing, his balance, the length of his strides and his footwork. You can tell he’s strong, but he’s slower. You’ll use that to your advantage. During these brief moments of sizing each other up you’ve kept your own strengths hidden. You copied his pace, circling him just as slowly with deliberately timed steps. You want your real fighting style to remain a surprise. You want this fight over quickly, a few strong punches from him and you’d be lights out. You know you can’t overpower him and keep him down for a 10 count, so the only way is to trick him into stepping over the white line.

The crowd is getting impatient, their jeering getting louder and more vulgar as they scream at him to pummel you. With no warning, no tell, he lunges at you and lands a right hook into your jaw, rattling your brain. You dodge his incoming blow, ducking under his arm and side stepping past him. So maybe he’s not so slow after all, that’s okay, you’ll just be faster. Your jaw is aching and you taste blood in your mouth. You spit on the floor and Joel smiles. Just one punch and you’re already dizzy. He closes the gap in one step, towering above you with a vicious gleam in his eye. He does a jab cross combo and you manage to block both. As he’s pulling his fist back you land a hook right into his ribs lightning fast, then quickly pull your punch back and step back into your fighting stance with your guard raised. He looks a little surprised. You actually snuck a blow in. The crowd cheers and his surprise turns to anger. It chills your blood and weakens your knees but you stand your ground. Furious, he attacks you in a brutal volley, jab, cross, hook, elbow. He’s pummeling you with hit after hit and you’re moving swiftly, weaving under his fists as you step backwards, leading him closer to the edge of the ring. Your heel touches the chalk. He throws a powerful cross but he’s late on the recoil so you grab his wrist, leaning into his momentum and pulling his arm, swinging him to the right. He takes a single step to correct his balance. A single step that’s out of the circle.

You drop his wrist as the crowd erupts in shouts of approval at the surprise and swearing as bets are lost. You turn on your heel, not even bothering to look at Joel as you march up to Tess.

“Well color me impressed. If you come back again you could probably make a lot more ration cards. Everyone likes an underdog ya know.” Spectators flock to her, passing up cigarettes, pills, bullets, and food, you even spot a piece of gum. After a minute of tallying she hands you a stack of ration cards. You stuff them in your jacket pocket and nod farewell. This should tide you over for a while, at least until you find another smuggling job. Tess seems okay but you hope you never have to come back here.

You rush out of the hideout and exit into the alleyway where you lean up against the wall and breathe in deeply, relishing the fresh cool night air. You close your eyes for a moment and relax your head back against the cool concrete, letting your body calm down after all the adrenaline.

A hand wraps around your throat, squeezing and cutting off your air. Gasping, your eyes flutter open and you stare wildly at the man in front of you. Joel. His face is flushed and his eyes are black. You choke out, “J-Joel, what-“ but he squeezes even tighter and your plea dies.

“Shut up bitch,” he snaps. Oh you made a big mistake. Now you understand what kind of man Joel is. You humiliated him when you won. You took his power. And he wants it back.

“How dare you trick me like that.”

You’re desperately shaking your head, unable to speak. He slams your head back into the wall. You feel your scalp scrap against the concrete and blood seep into your hair.

“You think you’re better than me, is that it? Huh?” With his other hand he grabs a fistful of your hair. “Huh? Answer me!” he shouts.

You shake your head desperately. He feels the blood on the back of your head now and slides his hand from your hair. Holding it up, he angles his hand to better see in the light from the streetlamp, admiring the sight of your blood on his fingertips. His other fingers are still pushing into your throat, bruising the skin underneath. You have to get out of here. Not knowing what else to do you kick him in the groin, hoping he’ll drop you or at least loosen his grip. It works and you wrench free. You run one, two steps before he catches you and slams you into the wall. You squeal. His hands pin your wrists against the cold wall by your sides and his body is pressed into yours, squishing you against the wall so tightly you can’t move. His chest is heaving and his breath is in your face as he looks down at you.

“Joel please,” you plead desperately.

“Oh now you have manners.” He scoffs. “Too late little girl,” he says darkly. You whine in desperation and his lethal gaze shift to one of greed. “Oh honey you’re giving me a new idea for how to punish you.” He smiles and you watch as lust clouds his gaze. You feel his cock twitch against your middle. Your eyes widen in terror and you gulp. His predator gaze deepens as he clocks your fear. He feeds off of it. He takes your wrists and pins them above your head with one large hand.

“Gotta show you some respect little girl. Put ya in your place.” He leans his hips into you, pushing you deeper into the hard wall as he grinds into you. With no warning he slaps you across your face. It stings as you feel tears forming in your eyes.

“That’s better. Cry for me girly. Think you can beat me, no, I’ll show who’s in control here.” His other hand other slips beneath the hem of your t-shirt and reaches up to grab at your breast. He gropes you roughly, his cold callous fingers kneading into you. He flicks your nipple and you cringe at the pain, but harden under his touch as he rubs it between his finger and thumb. He groans and his hips grind into you again, rutting up against you and pushing you roughly. You feel your skin grating against the rough concrete behind you. He kisses you sloppily, greedily making out with your unresponsive mouth as you try to turn away. He drops his hand from your breast and slides his hand around your neck again.

“I’m gonna let go and yer' gonna take off your pants. Got that little girl?” You spit in his face. He laughs like a mad man. “You’re a fighter. I said I liked ‘em feisty. You remembered, huh girly?”

Then he abruptly stops and he squeezes so tightly you see black spots. “But right now I need you to behave.” You nod vigorously.

“Good girl.” He releases his tight grip and drops your hands. You undo your pants and push them down with your underwear and are about to step out of them when he stops you. “Leave it.” It restricts your movement more, you can’t run.

“That’s it, good job girly. Now me.” He commands. You undo his belt with shaking fingers and tug his zipper down. You tentatively pause and he smacks your hip. “I didn’t stay stop,” he growls. You tug his pants and boxers down to his thighs and his cock springs free. He’s so big and angry looking that you start to cry.

“Fuckin’ weak.” He wraps a hand around the base of his cock and strokes himself slowly as you watch. The thumbs the tip of his cock where a bead of precum is leaking out. He raises he fingers to your mouth and slides his thumb over your lower lip roughly before pushing it inside your mouth.

“No biting.” His thumb glides over your teeth and he pushes further. Your tongue flicks against him instinctively and his cock twitches. “You like this girly? You a little slut?” With his thumb deep in your mouth you’re unable to answer but your eyes glare at him. He just smirks. He taps your jaw with his other fingers then brings them to your lips as you open your mouth wider. You suck on his fingers, saliva gathering on them. When he's satisfied, he pulls them out with a lewd wet noise. He pets your check once with the back of his hand. You feel the scratch of the dried blood as his split knucks skim across your face.

He reaches down between you and slides two fingers into you without hesitation. The stretch burns and your muscles clench in surprise. “Fuck, so tight.” He slides his fingers in and out, punishing your hole as you try to adjust. “We gotta stretch you out a bit if you’re gonna fit this big cock.” He pushes another finger in and you scream. He glares at you and silences your scream with his mouth. He bites your lower lip as he fucks you with his fingers. You taste blood as he pulls way.

After a few more thrusts he feels your body adjust and your slick starts to seep onto his hand. He laughs, “Not such a tough girl now huh?” Your face reddens in embarrassment as your body betrays you.

He slides his fingers out and slaps your wet pussy. “Just a little slut. Knew you wanted this cock.” He pushes his fingers through your folds, playing with you and gathering your slick. He slides his fist down his cock, spreading the wetness.

“Wanna see you cry on this cock.” With his fist wrapped around the base he guides himself and notches at your entrance then pushes all the way inside you, filling you up and splitting you open. You gasp at the stretch and struggle against him. He clicks his tongue. “None of that, stay still,” he grunts as he pulls out to the tip then slams back in to you. “Gotta take your punishment,” another hard dominating thrust.

“Gonna ruin your little pussy.” He’s hitting something deep inside you with each painstakingly hard thrust. You feel your body responding, heat pooling and your walls flutter around him. He pulls out halfway and pushes back in, setting a new shallow pace as he fucks you against the wall. It’s faster and more desperate. You see sweat forming on his brow. You think you could probably get out of his grip right now if you tried, he’s distracted and out of breath already. But for some reason you don’t. You stay still as he brutally rails you, your back arching against the wall causing you’re your shoulder blades to sting as the scrape the wall.

The sounds of skin slapping slick skin and groaning fill the narrow alley. The street light flickers and for the first time it dawns on you that anyone could walk by and see you. You shiver and try to push against Joel’s hold but he growls at you through gritted teeth. “I said stay still.”

He’s close, you can see it on his scrunched-up face, so you relax and decide to just let him finish. Your body is marked with purple fingerprints and red marks where he slapped you. The blood in your hair has dried. Maybe it was stupid to fight him, you think as he continues to pound you. He feels good inside you, you can’t deny that. You close your eyes and focus on that feeling now, your hips moving to grind into him. It building and building and you can’t stop it as you come on his cock with a cry. Your walls squeeze his cock and it’s enough to send him spilling into you. His muscles twitch and he presses his entire body up against you, flattening you with his full weight as he comes inside you with a groan. You feel the warm gush of his cum inside you as it spreads and fills you. He sighs and slides out with a lewd squelching sound.

“Hmmmm, hope you learned your lesson little girl.”

Your legs are shaking, cum trickling down your thighs. He steps back and releases his hold on your wrists. You slide down the wall and sit crumpled on the cold ground. He drags his cock against your check once before stuffing it back into his pants and fixing his belt. He smirks down at you, proud of his work. “See ya around,” he says before stalking off, leaving you sitting alone in the dirty alley, pants still around your ankles.

You look down and watch his seed seeping out of you. You gulp, feeling your sore throat ache from his chokehold. You swipe your fingers over your cheek, wiping away your tears cooling against the night air. Your fingers brush against your bloodied swollen lips from his crushing kiss and drift to your sides where you see red prints marking your skin. Your fingers slide lower and find the wetness on your thighs. Without thinking you draw your fingers up to your mouth and suck, tasting him. Hand in your mouth you snap back to reality and glance down the alley to make sure no one is looking. You scrambling up, hand against the wall in support. You hurriedly pull up your pants and rush out of the alley in humiliation.

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