#this kinky moron

[andiv3r]

Arguing with an absolute wet sock of a human being about being intersex... they are trying to tell me things about being intersex meanwhile I'm standing there like 🧍‍♂️ my guy I am the subject of debate here.

[backonrepeat]

I know most everyone headcannons that the Dark Urge and Gortash fucked nasty pre-game, and while I'm 100% there for their toxic couple shanenigans and kinky dynamics, please consider this alternative: They were not fucking pre-game. Gortash was still completely infatuated with Durge and Durge still admired Gortash greatly (as per the infamous letter). So, no sex but tons of UST during their villainous get togethers (and poor Ketheric wishing for the sweet release of death after having to deal with the two idiots making cow eyes at each other).

Then cannon happens, Orin lobotomises Durge, and Gortash is left alone to mourn. When the time for the coronation comes, he's obviously delighted to be reunited with his crush, amnesia and all, and that's why he's like *that*

After that display (and the whole "favourite assassin" and "nearest and dearest"), Durge reaches the same conclusion we all did: they and Gortash were definitely fucking before Orin happened. And they are confused because he's a bad guy, and he betrayed Karlach, but at the same time he looks and sounds familiar, and maybe in their scrambled up brain Durge still has a faint memory of affection for him, and can't help but find the man attractive. Cue, plan to seduce Gortash to get information and/or ensure his cooperation.

Like, imagine Durge meeting with Gortash privately and just, going full on seduction mode, all "oh, Enver~, let's be allies" and smooching him within like 5minutes of entering the room.

Gortash obviously knows something is up, but at the same time he is getting what he has wanted for so so long and just goes along with it. Maybe the amnesia was not such a bad thing? Like Ketheric is dead, Durge seems keen to dispose of Orin as well, and he now gets the alliance AND sex on top of it?

(Bonus: this is redemption Durge, and they are more affectionate and sweet, and although Gortash really doesn't want to like it he's a poor touch-starved bastard and starts enjoying the softer touches despite himself)

This can then go either the silly route (two emotionally stunted morons playing the seduction game until they both catch feelings real bad) or the tragic route (where Durge betrays and kills Gortash, and it hurts so much more because of it)

[oneforthemunny]

ok but most to least likely to cheat? please? i love angst!

i really don't think any of them actually would. i think they're just not gross like that, and they're all lover boy coded to their core. it's webbed in all eddie dna, even the worst of them.

i can tell you why each of them wouldn't??? a fair compromise?

janitor!eddie- self explanatory. i mean this and i know it's gonna sound insane and fake and silly, but i really don't think he could find another person attractive once he met you. it's just not in his dna, no one else exists type thing. he loves you for so many reasons, and he's gonna fuck that up?? yeah, right lol.

mafia!eddie- genuinely is annoyed by most people's presence. he's busy babes, and he doesn't trust very easily. he's never been a big relationship guy, not even casual really. he's just been incredibly tunnel visioned with his own shit, that it just not a necessity. then he gets hooked once he does. really, wouldn't want to bc he doesn't trust anyone but also bc he's found the best.

older!eddie- truly is too old. too old and tired to be fucking around and playing games like that. even if he wanted to, that's embarrassing to him. being old and a fuckboy? he did that when he was in his twenties. now, he wants to settle down. wants something real.

modern!eddie- he's too pussy whipped for that. genuinely. he might think someone's pretty or nice. i think the thing with him, is he's a little too trusting sometimes, so when he meets a girl and she's nice to him he's like "oh a friend :)" when... that's not the case. that would be the closest thing to him actually cheating is she asks him stuff about the relationship and he tells her, and it's obv the other being malicious about it. then once you pointed it out, it's shut down. truly, he's just a moron, but a lover boy at heart. very much so the type if a girl flirted to say "i have a girlfriend and she's crazy. please don't touch me, she'll scalp you."

hockey!eddie- surrounded by puck bunnies, and he giggles at them when they try because??? hello??? he's clearly got you??? silly girls, you're right there! sunshine boy, he would never. you make him so happy, i don't even think he would consider it a possibility. some of his teammates cheat (obv they're hockey boys and gross) and he's so disgusted by them. even more than that, he's shocked. he genuinely thinks so lowly of them, especially if they're married and have kids. the foulest thing to him.

rockstar!eddie- i mean... once you guys are in, he's all fucking in. that's the thing about him, is he does everything so intensely. he's also had everything, all kinds of kinds, seen the world, experienced all it has to offer. and when he thinks about you compared to it, it's just not even close. he chooses you every time. i mean, you have three wedding ceremonies because he's just that into it. that into showing the world how you're together. then once the babies start coming, forget about it. he's locked in long before then, but after that? call him anti-feminist or whatever, but no other woman, person, anything on earth is better than you. it's why in the sex dungeon, he gets you a high priestess costume, because truly that's how he sees you.

cowboy!eddie- barely sees anyone anyways bc he's kinda a recluse. not the most romantic either lol, especially pre-you. he's more of like a "you can come over here" and then he's ready for you to leave after he's done. he likes his space, so once he meets you and wants you in his space? alters his routine for you? accommodates you into his life? plus you're a little kinky freaky wild and exciting like him? he's in for life. i think he can be a little bit flirty still at the beginning, just years of being a bachelor, but he'd never fuck or kiss or really engage romantically with anyone else.

dom!eddie- the closest he'd come is a threesome maybe. MAYBE. but truly, i don't think he'd want them in any other way than for his own twisted kinky fantasies with you at the center of them- like the other person involved could genuinely be anyone, he doesn't have someone in mind. but really, truthfully? everyone else bores him. he would be so bored if he was with someone who did everything he said (even tho he mocks you and tells you that's what he wants). if he was with someone who blindly obeyed without a fight, he'd be bored after twenty minutes. plus, you're his best friend, genuinely, outside of the kinky part of your relationship, you're his person. when something happens, good or bad, you're the first person he wants to tell. the first person he wants to do things with, never gets tired of doing things with, genuine best friends.

boxer!eddie- similar to those before, that he's anti social but he's mean too. like he comes across as an asshole, and is one, and he was very lonely before he met you. someone who can keep up with him, give it as good as they take it. quick witted and a little cynical and snarky, but not utter doom and gloom. he really was convinced he'd die alone, george clooney and remain an unmarried bachelor for the rest of his life, hopping from whoever to whoever (if he didn't die in the ring first) then he met you. it took him so long to build that up, get the relationship to a relationship, that he's not cheating and fucking that up. couldn't fine someone he'd want to cheat with even if he did because you're one of a kind to him.

bouncer!eddie- ok, i know i said he would, and technically he does-ish, but it's really not super intentional. he's actually stupid and thought he was being cool. anyways. he wouldn't cheat once he actually communicated and there was confirmation he was in a relationship lol. i think he'd be down for threesomes, but that's it. not genuine cheating bc he doesn't actually feel anything towards the other person other than in the moment, he's horny. especially if they're touching you, or your touching them, but that's the key right there. you have to be in it. plus, who else is gonna be freaky with him like you are? no one. and you're funny and sweet to him and exciting and like to listen to his music? in his eyes, it's a match made in heaven.

[perictione00]

Call me Mommy

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x reader

Warnings: Use of curse words, smut.

Synopsis: You give Gojo a taste of his own medicine.

Jujutsu Kaisen Masterlist

"You like that, Mr. Gojo", you said with doe eyes as you continued stripteasing the old man. You knew he was getting hard; it wasn't just some skin but the traditional Gojo clan kimono that did the magic. You started undoing the obi belt, revealing more of your body, leaving barely anything for imagination, but of course, you turned away to torment him more.

"Come on, sweetheart, this is torture", he said, standing up from the couch while taking off his office shirt. He was well-built for someone his age. Maybe this was gonna be much easier than you expected.

You got on your knees, trying your best to look as submissive and appealing as you could. Unbuckling his belt, you cupped his bulge, making him sigh. He looked at you with a loving gaze, and that right there was what you needed for your plans with him. Before you could think further, he got down to your level and kissed you deeply. Fuck, this is getting good.

You and Gojo had fucked around a few times, so you knew how weirdly kinky and adventurous he was when it came to sex. What you never expected was your friend showing you Gojo's sex tape online. It wasn't even surprising, but what shocked you was you. Yeah, that asshole had the audacity to not only make but upload the sex tape, including you, online without your consent. This shit was serious because, unlike Gojo, you had a job and a great reputation to maintain. It could not only embarrass the hell outta you but could get you ostracized socially or, even worse, get you fired. You were not gonna let a fucking manchild disrupt your life.

On your way to his infamous farmhouse, you kept checking your cell phone out of fear. You did not want a colleague of yours to find out about this. Once you reached the destination, you saw a few women coming out. Like, what were you even expecting? As you opened the door, you saw Gojo wearing a bunny outfit, showing his pole dancing skills. Now that was a sight for sore eyes. You wondered how someone could look so delicious but act like a total moron at the same time; however, that's not what you're here for. "You spoiled fucking whore", you begin as you move closer to him. "Wanna tell me about the stunt you pulled?"

"Oh babyyy, I don't remember telling you about my humiliation kink, but please don't stop", he said as he sat down in an intentionally sultry position. You were sure he knew about the effect he had on people, but today's not the day. Standing right in front of him, you slid your hands into his hair and pulled em before asking, "Would my lovely bitch like to explain why the fuck was a sex tape made and uploaded online without my permission?"

"Shit, babe-", you cut him off before he could continue, saying, "No, Gojo, you don't get to enjoy this situation; I'm serious right now. Delete that video right now; I don't care how many procedures it requires, I want it off the internet and your cellphone. Every fucking duplicate, deleted, RIGHT NOW!"

"Calm down, hon, why don't we have some fun", he said as his hands made their way to your ass, "we can talk, but let's be comfortable first, no?"

"No. No, Gojo I'm not kiddin right now; delete that shit, or just gimme your cellphone; I'll do it myself". Before you could search for it, he pulled out his mobile and said, "I'll comply with your wishes...I guess, but what's in it for me hmm?"

You've had enough; you already had a long day, and now he was getting on your last nerve. "Nothing. You don't get anything, Gojo; just by doing this, you've already compromised my job, and who knows what? So just stop irritating me and do it".

"Okay, okay, woah, grumpy pants I will delete it from the internet, but at least lemme keep a cop-", he stopped and started laughing as he saw you glaring in his direction. "You know you can always join my company if things go downhill", he said while deleting the last copy as you replied, "I'd never wanna work under you".

"You sure loved it the other day in the hotel", of course, he said that, for which you gave him the finger.

Fast forward: a spineless coward got you fired by spreading rumors about your risqué incident, and now you were planning to get back to Gojo Satoru. You knew no sex tape, rumors, or false accusations could shame or humiliate him, so your petty self came up with the greatest idea of all time, and you knew it was going to work.

And that's how you ended up on your knees in front of Gojo Sr. It wasn't hard to have him wrapped around your fingers, and it was just a plus that he was far more fun than you imagined him to be. Because Gojo's daddy issues portrayed him like a villain, you couldn't imagine him having such a huge dick, and he was so good at using it too, you hit a total jackpot.

You moaned loudly as you rode him, with his hands on your ass, helping you move better.

You loved how his expert fingers always found your clit helping you reach your orgasm right before he came. You rode through your orgasm as he kissed you deeply. "Fuck...fuck, are you okay, love?", he asked. "Never been better", you said as you pecked his lips again. You got ready to go back home after a shower together, as he was staying back for some work. It was all going well; you knew a confession was coming your way any day. You took more time with your heels to catch the perfect timing for something before you went out of the office.

As you walked out, you smiled when you saw the elevator door opening and a dumbfounded Gojo Satoru making his way to you. "Why—not trying to be rude, but why are you here?", he questioned as he looked back and forth between his father's office door and you.

"Oh, Daddy just needed some help, so Mommy came to the rescue".

[slashingdisneypasta]

Older!Horror Villains x Younger!Reader || Reactions

Reacting to: Someone at the store thinking that they're your grandparent- rather then your S/O. (Just something funny I was considering for Inkubus but decided to just do for all of them ^^ XD 😅)

Characters Included: The gilfs of the fandom 😅 ? I'm thinking 50 years and above. Captain Spaulding, Drayton Sawyer, Granny Boone, Inkubus, Jedidiah Sawyer, Luda Mae Hewitt, Mayor Buckman, Mental Manny / Manual Dyer, Peepaw Michael Myers, Norman Nordstrom, Otis B. Driftwood, Pamela Voorhees, Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt Jr, Stuart Lloyd, the Taxidermist / Walter Harris and Winslow Foxworth Coltrane.

Warnings: Major age difference, bad language, sexual references, a really awkward misunderstanding...

Captain Spaulding: Spaulding's a pretty good sport about it XD In fact, he kinda enjoys it. Cuz then he gets to rub it in the persons face what a young, hot thing he's got going here with you and what- what did you say you had again?? Nothin'?? Yeahh, that's what I thought. Fuck right off, why dontcha?

Drayton Sawyer: Drayton goes so red and is about to blow his top. He gets enough shit from his brothers over this! He does not need one more moron bothering him about it! Fuck off! *Grabs you by the arm and storms off*

Granny Boone: "... Grandma, huh? Alright then!~ " *Turns to you* "Come here, sweetie, give grandmother a kiss~ " She's about to ruin that guys whole career 😅😅😅

Inkubus: Inkubus is not amused. Grandpa?? Absolutely not, no. He'll correct the person in the most embarrassing way possible.

Jedidiah Sawyer: Jed does not care at all 😅😅 The only person who's opinion matters to him is yours, so who cares if this guy thinks he's your grandpa? Fine then, he's your grandpa. So go and mow the lawn for him while he sits on the porch and has a sweet tea.

Luda Mae Hewitt: She's is gonna tear that guy a new one. Calling her old?? Son of a bitch, where is that persons manners?? She should set her damn sons on him.

Mayor Buckman: Sorry, Buckman cannot answer this question. He's too busy choking.

Mental Manny / Manual Dyer: Manny loves to correct people. He's got the biggest smile on his face as he goes oh you're mistaken- this is my beautiful partner. A little young, sure, but we sure don't mind~ Oh sweetheart, I think we're going be late for our dinner reservations. Shall we?

Peepaw Michael Myers: Like Jed he struggles to give a shit. Who cares??? He knows that he's not your grandfather and you know he's not your grandfather- that's all that matters. He doesn't care... but he does enjoy giving you a big kiss, with tongue, later when the guy sees you both again. He's a gremlin.

Norman Nordstrom: ... what? Norman is pissed at this idea, he hates it. He feels like a digusting predator (*cough* which he is, though not because you like him ^^) and it hits close to home. He's going to need you to set it straight.

Otis B. Driftwood: "... Ha! Okay, pal, check this out." He'll say, then turn around and basically make out with you right there in front of the guy. Otis is not amused at the poor insinuation and takes it out with lewd efficiency.

Pamela Voorhees: Again- not amused. As far as she's concerned, this total stranger has no business making disgusting insinuations about the two of you, anyway. So she'll ruthlessly take them down a notch with her words- and sweet smile.

Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt Jr: "... you think you're funny? No I ain't their fucken grandpa. Didn't your bitch momma ever teach you to mind your business? Oh don't you worry, I can do it for her." Just- my friend- just keep him from taking out the damn shot gun.

Stuart Lloyd: "... oh... uh... n-no, actually- " Stuart forces himself to stutter through a quick explanation- but he wants to crawl into a whole and die (:

Taxidermist / Walter Harris: Gets the nervous giggles 😅😅😅 Doesn't correct them.

Winslow Foxworth Coltrane: Annnnd Foxy loves it XD He was already one kinky mother fucker- you can use this as foreplay. Let him smack your ass while they're still looking but call you 'Hon' or 'Sweetie'- he finds it funny and hot in equal measures.

[katyawriteswhump]

Never let me go (Steddie holiday drabble)

Written for @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 18, Free Space--Hurt/Comfort. 

Steve’s really good at pretending he’s fixed—especially to himself—and decides he’s totally up for kinky fun with Eddie. Also part of my steve whump fic thread on ao3

WC: 922.

Rating: M.

CW: Mild kink and bondage, sexual content, panic attacks, PTSD, flashbacks. Tags: Emotional hurt/comfort. Trauma. Fluff, whump.

***

Eddie draws the tinsel garland around Steve’s arm, looping it loosely before dragging it tighter. Not too tight. Steve swallows hard, nerves fizzing. Eddie tethers Steve’s wrist to the bed frame behind his head with a loopy, hitchy knot.

“Where the heck did you learn—"

“My uncle. He’s worse than a billion scout leaders, I shit you not.” Eddie lazily kisses the tender underside of Steve’s wrist, beneath the knot, setting Steve’s pulse skittering. Eddie shifts his attention to Steve’s other hand. Steve has, without thinking, moved himself into place, ready to be tied. He’s happily drowning in Eddie’s gorgeous eyes, lapping up Eddie's hungry appreciation of him, till…

“You’re sure you’re good with this, Stevie?” 

“How many times, dude? I’m fine.” Steve slides his tongue around suddenly dry-feeling lips. “Tinsel is dangerous for cats and babies. I could literally snap this crap in half.”

“You could snap me in half.”

“I dunno. You’re crafty. And deceptively strong.” Steve tugs speculatively at the tinsel. It’s deceptively strong too, and the wire holding it together grooves into his flesh. Clearly breakable, though. If he wanted out.

He doesn’t.

When Eddie confessed a drunken desire to tie Steve to their bed, they’d both been apprehensive—given Steve’s “history,” with Soviets and throttling vines, and the rest of the shitshow. Using tinsel was Steve’s dumb, buzzed-out-of-his-skull idea.

Now, Eddie drags the tinsel across Steve’s bare chest, swirls it over his abs, raising goosebumps in its wake. Eddie’s using black and silver tinsel. “So pretty against your skin,” he purrs. Steve’s eyes flutter closed, because the sensations… Gnng! So good! Also, kinda excruciating. Both too little contact, and too much.

Eddie trails the tinsel lower. Steve’s wearing his boxers, and he moans, whimpers—why isn’t he naked yet? Eddie’s fingers drift down Steve’s leg, and Steve flexes into Eddie’s hand. Eddie spreads Steve’s leg toward the bedpost then crouches beside.

Eddie’s hot breaths scorch his flesh. Steve’s breaths accelerate further. As he binds Steve’s ankle, Eddie’s brows knit in concentration. Why’s that super-hot? Steve’s gotten a semi already, and he’s no clue what Eddie’s gonna do next.

“I better be naked soon, Munson.” Eddie lightly pinches Steve’s inner thigh, a total blindside. “Ow!”

“Patience, Babe. Or I’ll start over with your ass upward.”

Steve smirks: “Only just thought of that, moron?”

“Haha, don’t be a brat. Takin’ this slow. Now, shhhh.”

Steve shudders, frets his lip. Eddie winds the last of the tinsel around Steve’s other leg. This is still fun—right?—and he trusts Eddie. Okay, that nervous stirring in the pit of his stomach persists, but it’s sure as hell exciting. Eddie backs away, and Steve rolls his eyes. “Gonna eat me or fuck me?”

“C’mon on, man. Didn’t I say, ‘Sssssh’?”

“There’s better ways to shut me up.”

The kiss is delicious and deep, and Steve just breeeaaaaks. It’s easy to surrender to this—the hot, thrumming weight of Eddie’s clothed body pressed to his near-nakedness, the slick sweep of Eddie’s tongue, the frisson of tinsel against Steve’s ever-more-sensitive flesh as he fidgets and sighs. He feels wanted, worshipped… and randy as hell.

Eddie breaks the kiss abruptly. Before Steve can whine about it, Eddie presses a finger to his own lips, looking… kinda stressed?

The blood thundering in Steve’s ears calms enough for him to hear the loud knocking on the door.

“Eddie? Steve? Hellloooo!” It’s goddamn Henderson.

“I’ll tell him to scram.” Eddie leaves.

Steve’s breathing speeds up again—his face burns, the rest of his skin feels oddly chilled. Distant voices murmur, an owl hoots, and he’s all alone… and feeling… okay, yeah, vulnerable.

Don’t be a wuss, Harrington. You can break free if you want. It’s candy-ass tinsel.

He tugs at his bonds. 

No, don’t spoil the game.

His eyes lull closed, and he’s lost in an instant. 

His hands are tightly bound… above his head… no, behind his back? Shit, shit, shit, he’s losing track of everything save his terror. All he knows is he’s struggling, and he can’t get free and the Soviets are gonna hit him again. They just keep hitting him. Shouting in his face. He tastes the blood, and he’s screaming it over and over: “For the millionth time, I work at Scoops Ahoy.”

His raw throat clogs, then closes up. He can’t breathe! The vines… Those goddamn vines. They’re winding about his every limb, slithering, squeezing tight around his neck. His whole existence reduces to a desperate fight for air… I’m choking… drowning… suffocating… Oh God… Oh God! He fights in small, snatchy gasps that he barely believes in. Vecna’s got him, and he’s gonna die, and…

“Steve! Sweetheart, you’re okay… You’re okay… I gotcha.”

“Wha—” Steve’s eyes fly wide. Eddie. Eddie’s here! Leaning over him. Touching him tenderly. Reality slams back, and he throws an arm around Eddie’s neck and clings. Eddie hugs him close, and the whirlwind of his panic slows. His only actual pain is a faint sting in his wrists and ankles, where he’s busted through the tinsel.

“Crap, I’m sorry.” Eddie presses a soft kiss to Steve’s clammy brow. “Leaving you was dumb. The whole idea was dumb.”

“S’okay.” Steve buries his face in Eddie’s shoulder, and his pulse and breaths calm further. “I kinda enjoyed it till…” I totally lost my shit. He slowly inhales Eddie’s warm, reassuring scent. The terrifying flashbacks retreat a little further. He’s okay… He’s okay! As long as Eddie never lets him go, the darkness won’t win.

He nuzzles up toward Eddie’s ear: “Maybe try again next year?”

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

This is why you don't give "people" like Hydra Cap trials

You put bullets in their head and any other part of their body you'd like to see make some spatter patterns

And I hope we get to see Emma punch this worthless oxygen thieving morons face through the back of his head with her flawless diamond fist :D

Also my reaction to this whining flatscan saying "Look what the enemies of mankind are doing" would be "Yeah, ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL :D"

Because if I was a human in the Marvel universe I'd 100% be on Mutantkinds side <3

I mean

Even leaving all the other reasons Mutantkind are better than humanity aside

Just purely from an aesthetic standpoint

Mutantkind has a fabulous kinky sex goddess like Emma Frost leading it

And humanity has some right wing jarhead cunt with a five dollar haircut who dresses like a fucking door to door salesman from the 50's

[goldenchunkycat]

Lo'ak as your Alpha

[Who's next for the Alpha!serie ? Lemme know ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

It's mostly fluff, smut under the cut !]

Alpha!Lo'ak would PURPOSELY reject every Alpha and Omega, because that's what his parents would have wanted for him. So he would navigate through life not giving a buck about love relationships. That is, until he met the Beta who just moved in a cabin, not far from where his clan reside. You were...well, a Beta. Transparent. Not strong, not weak, not dominant nor submissive. You were just a Na'vi who decided to live alone in a remote area of the forest. You were an easygoing girl who did not cared about trivial things. Lo'ak befriended you for that.

Actually, he loved the fact that you being a Beta meant that you were nor affected by his pheromones. Let me explain. You do not try to please him, you do not look down on him. And above all, his emotions does not affect you. He's impulsive so when he's angry his pheromones go WILD. It enrages Alphas and scares Omegas. He's basically a walking 'do not approach me' 50% of the time, even when he's not trying.

"I just...feel safe when I'm here." "..." "Shut up, I'm not a softie."

Being with Lo'ak would mean a lot of 'cuddles times' in the security of your shack. Words of appreciation and soft kisses/touches, when you tell each other how happy you are to have them. You two have a more funny side to your relationship too, playful insults and fights in the grass. But he's always making sure to put his hand behind your head when he's tackling you to ground.

Even when he knows status does not mean anything to you, he would still try to bring you jewelry and food, it's in his DNA. He would still defend you against some moron of his clan who thought that bothering you when you're hanging in the forest was a good idea.

"Those skxanwg think they can bother you just because I'm not the next Olo'eyktan ? Ah, let them try, they'll end up in the healer's tent."

NOW. After making Tsaheylu with you, you officially became mated and Na'vi mates for life. So when Lo'ak brought a Beta to his father ? Heh, hell on Pandora. After some times you finally understood that the Sully held no grudges against you, they wee just pissed that Lo'ak never mentioned you. And you would be too. Like, one year in a relationship and the man did not even talked about you to his parents. he was not allowed to sleep with you during a whole week, in every sense of the word.

"Babe, I told you, I'm sorry, I knew they were going to overreact... Forgive me ?"

The dirt is around the corner. Lo'ak as your alpha would mean slow and passionate sex. People think that he would be more into kinky things because he's hot tempered, but have you seen him interact with Tsireya ? He's all about words of affirmation and praises. Well, disguised praises, he's tough ya know ? Missionary with Lo'ak because he would loves to see your face contort with pleasure. He loves the proximity between your bodies, feeling your body heat, he is in the perfect position to lay his head next to yours and listen to your whimpers. Cowgirl when he just wants to relax and forgive about his obligations as an Alpha. Seeing you on top, riding him, skin glistening and chest heaving. He would gently hold your hips and help you hen you to tired to keep on rolling your hips against his. he loves it when you just fall on his chest, begging him to make you cum. And last but not least, face-off position (on the edge of a chair/bed/etc, man is sitting and woman is like a koala, I don't know how to explain TT) when he wants to feel in control. It mostly happens after arguing with his father. he wanna feel on top but still hug you close, so he would gently hold you while making love to you, trynna reach that spot that makes you see stars. When he's in the mood he would gently suck on your tits while stroking the base of your tail, he know that you love it when he does that ♡

"Babe, closer, I wanna feel all of you."

"..." "I don't need an Alpha or an Omega, you're ah- you're perfect for me... Even your cunt. F-Feels like it was made for me, my beautiful Beta."

"Yeah, cum all over your Alpha's dick, I'm gonna give you my pups and we'll live here, happy with our kids. Oh- oh ! You- you're clenching around me, do you like that idea ?"

Masterlist

[insideliascrazyhead]

The great expressions of High & Low 11

„I never went to a trampoline park with my father and after beating him up,because y´know heal your inner child,kick the shit out of your father.I´m still hella angry.Now I will use you as trampoline instead:)“

„I don´t need your help Cobra!“ „No?If I´m not mistaken you look so much like shit,that others could think your a stool sample.I would love to leave you here to get the glitter kicked out of your silver teeth thingy....but I have a savior complex with a heavy amount of survivor guilt and anger issues.So I gotta kick some ass today or drink myself comatose and I´m not gonna lie,I´m still hungover.So I will vomit if I just smell liquor for the next few hours.So please let me kick some wanna be pimps ass.“

„Relax Kiyoshi!The blood from the brain bleed is all internal.That´s exactly where it´s supposed to be!“

„I fucking swallowed cement!I nearly swallowed as much as a power bottom on a friday night at a gay club!Just for that victorian child looking fucker to sacrifice his own skinny ass?!“

„What poor fuck wrote this?That book is hella sad!That guy´s gotta be miserable...“ Cobra:“That´s my diary!“ “Damn!Who hurt you?I mean if I went through all that you would now find me in the psychiatric ward making boats outta popsicle sticks.“

„My brass knuckles shine brighter then your future!“ (We know exactly what he bought with his part of the cash)

„Cobra showing emotional response other then anger?!Okay gentleman we´re gonna follow the emergency protocoll number 9.You get the sedative syringe.I call the local looney bin.Yamato thro yourself on Cobra so he can´t escape!“

„Fuck yeah,let´s watch the two morons get their ass kicked by Todoroki!We´re gonna get to leave that cult alliance for that.I meeeaaan Mr.Money Bag made it rain money already.So that is gonna be the greatest night of my life!Where´s my video camera at?!“

„Jokes on you I´m a kinky bitch but get your claws away from my hair.I gotta take way more care of that bleached shit than my depression normally allows me or I fear I end up looking like you!“

[etirabys]

I've been experimenting with "identifying as stupid and lazy" and it's going pretty well. This month I went to a Javascript meetup with the explicit goal of being slightly stupid there, got into an AI conversation, said a few coherent things, and then mentioned I just didn't want to put in the work into understanding e.g. transformers. Also I said as a simplification that I'd flunked out of linear algebra in college which isn't true (I got an A in linalg but flunked out of the ML course where linalg was heavily in use) but felt. WEIRDLY. pleasurable to say.

When I talked about this on Discord, one of them brought up Stupidism, which is from a good post @mark-gently made. But there's something about my wanton dignity-discarding that goes several steps further from Stupidism and feels very liberating.

Last year I read a weird... pagan?... book, Existential Kink, that invites you to notice how much of your life is shaped to bring about outcomes you supposedly hate, and how you secretly take joy in those outcomes. This seems false for the majority of things one tries to avoid, but leaning into it sure is interesting to try out! And I'm finding it is surprisingly true for "coming off as stupid".

There's something absurdly joyful/thrilling about deciding to go to a meetup and presenting as a moron. Some years ago I would have gone NOOO at the thought, and now I feel like an adrenaline junkie being invited to a new type of gambling event or weird sex thing.

I fully expect to tire of "identifying/presenting as stupid and lazy", but when I move on from it I expect to be more integrated or whatever. Less afraid of being stupid and lazy because I've just gone and done it openly.

One of the stupid things I said at the Javascript meetup was that I hate using libraries in almost full generality. I'm too lazy to read docs or troubleshoot my calls to other people's code. Someone recced me a different meetup for people who roll their own tooling, but warned me it was all male, because he knew I'd found all-male programming contexts stressful in the past.

In college I tended to not even really notice if a lab or a team was all male, because I was a top-half student and just felt totally secure about being in class. But I became phobic of it in jobs because I'm usually the worst dev in any remotely selective workplace, and being the worst dev AND the only woman sucks. I was ashamed of being bad at my job, obviously, but I was mortified at being the entity that diversity posters and mandatory trainings point at to say "if you think women are like that you are a terrible person and causing problems in society". But... I am like that. I guess for society's good I need to hide this as hard as possible?

(I solved this by going to a much less selective workplace and almost explicitly saying "I will be kind of a bad programmer, but I come cheap". I am pretty happy now.)

So, given that I got twisted up by that employment record, current me is delighted at the thought of being openly dumb at an all-male CS meetup. This wouldn't be good for the men (some of whom Want To Unlearn Sexism, etc) nor for Women In Tech, but it would be good for ME. Time to abandon class consciousness and defect on women for my own gain.

It is, well, yeah, existentially kinky to imagine going to this meetup and cheerfully asking dumb questions & occasionally responding with "I don't think I'm ever going to understand that, sorry, you should stop explaining that because I don't want to waste your time".

[olderthannetfic]

I feel like I keep seeing antis/anti-leaning people claim that proshippers are against discussions of racism in fandom. Obviously there is the basic bad faith interpretation (deliberate slander), which I'm not inherently against, but do you have any idea if there's a potential good faith interpretation of why they think this? Is there a specific fandom where the proshippers are actually yelling at the antiracists?

--

I get this question all the time, which is ironic since I tend to be public enemy #1 for the "AO3 is racist" crowd. (Or maybe they've moved on by now. I don't really keep up with them.)

No, there is no good faith interpretation. It's recycled Star Wars wank from 2015, SamSteve vs. Stucky wank from the same period, etc. etc.

The "anti-racists" in question include a lot of big names who should know better. Their central arguments boil down to:

The demographics of which characters get shipped and/or written about on AO3 are racist.

A lot of individual fics about characters of color on AO3 are racist.

AO3's refusal to "listen" and then censor is racist.

Fans of color "need" to be able to speak up about fic that is racist... in that fic's comments.

It's all ass-backwards because it focuses on the needs of the reader to find the content they want, which is content creator influencer hell, not the writer-focused AO3 approach.

The whole point of AO3-style fandom is that everyone has access to posting, and you can write what you want. Want more fics about your fave? Write them.

There are individual AO3 fics I find racist, but the vast majority of the discourse around the site focuses on things like writers who ship the black dude but use him as a prop boyfriend and not the single perfect tear woobie who's obviously their favorite. Is the pattern racist? Well, yeah, but you won't solve it by trying to restrict those fics. And the extreme form of this turns into a cliched top/bottom shipwar, which just makes everyone involved look like a moron.

Teaching people how to write their tops with personalities is far more likely to make the collective fic in a fandom less racist than demanding that they switch which pairing dynamic they're into. Making more original media where the man of color is the woobie in the first place would also help.

Plenty of the discourse is crying that such-and-such a m/m ship is super popular on AO3, temple of m/m, while gen about characters of color or some particular het ship with a nonwhite character is less popular. "Why don't you ship het instead of m/m" is a gigantic red flag for people who refuse to understand libido or accept it as a valid reason for anything.

A lot of the discourse is anti-kink despite lying about this fact. "Boo hoo hoo, I for sure psychically know who's a racist white person and who's a kinky black person whose id doesn't match up with mine!" etc.

There's also a lot of "This fic is race kink!" nonsense thrown around about any fic where a man of color has a big dick, as though penis size by itself is the racist cliche often summed up as "big black cock" and as though all ethnicities and nationalities are subject to identical stereotypes. This garbage gets uncritically repeated by newly-minted "woke" people falling over themselves to correct hundreds of years of injustice by yelling at others for a couple of days on twitter.

This is where the "you're calling me an anti to silence me" garbage comes from. Sound like a kink-hater, get treated as one.

AO3 does have bullying problems by now, and the various blocking and muting features were overdue. They are now being implemented, which is great. Anyone with half a brain cell should see that these are key anti-racist measures so that people can block idiots who write fic they hate or who leave shitty comments...

But a certain number of jackasses complain even about that because it will ~silence fans of color~ who need to go tell someone they're a racist in their fic comments.

These dumbass arguments have been circulating for years at this point, so the talking points have boiled down to catch phrases.

--

Damn right I'm against "discussion" when it means telling everyone that only white people would like nasty kink.

When the whiny "plz censor AO3" crowd stops sounding exactly like that asshole who used "freaks of color" in a past discussion about these kinds of things and when they're ready to discuss how to write extreme kink about their faves non-racistly without reducing the kinkiness, then I will be ready to listen to their arguments.

But they have none other than "write the kind of fic I like!"

[jamietwat]

keeley: what did you send? a dick pic? a kinky fantasy?

roy: worse.

(the text in question was something like “sometimes it’s only moderately annoying being around you “)

Oh absolutely 😂

Other things that can count as risky texts include (but aren’t limited to)

- telling Jamie he’s proud of him or that he’s played well when he’s playing for the England team so Roy isn’t there to say it in person

- Jamie whining about I know you hate me but this is just ridiculous over a minor inconvenience and Roy responding with I don’t hate you anymore you fucking moron

- saying anything at all about missing Ted while texting him (especially in a not threatening or angry way, but it still feels risky to him sending something bitching about how something is Ted’s fault for leaving them until he gets Ted’s response and rolls his eyes at it but it’s fine)

- literally texting anyone other than Keeley first in any context other than something team/coaching/training related or something bossy or something angry or vaguely threatening (asking Beard or any of the other guys to get a drink with him later in person? totally fine… texting them and waiting for their response for an indefinite amount of time and then not knowing the tone of their response? torture… like you know he rolls his eyes and vaguely grumbles about Ted’s over enthusiastic texting style but at the same time it’s a lot easier when Ted responds to everything clearly enthusiastic and that’d definitely help the whole living on a different continent and time zone thing to be more bearable)

- saying anything about any feeling he has toward Keeley or Jamie to Jamie while they’re all single post the fighting on her doorstep disaster

[yeetlegay]

Kinn and Porsche’s List of Canonical Kinks 💦

Exhibitionism

Praise

Mirrors

Ear biting

Ass grabbing

Hair pulling (!!!!!!)

Saying each other’s names (one-sided and this must change IMMEDIATELY)

Jealousy/possessiveness

Hands on necks

The unquenchable need to be loved

Fighting as foreplay

Bread (????)

Swallowing (Porsche was all but throwing it in Tawan’s face that he gets Kinn’s gourmet jizz all to himself with that milk metaphor lbr)

Just…being pressed against stuff in general

Pool sex (lord help them)

Handcuffs

Hickeys. So many hickeys.

Holding hands during sex

Holding hands not during sex

Face-licking

Fucking to ward off ghosts

Tighty whities

Three-piece suits

Bossing/being bossed around

“You’re mine” (📢 bass boosted 📢)

Dick/gun metaphors

Wearing each other’s clothes

Bathrooms

Coffee tables

Nipple licking (not a kink but they make it kinky)

Fucking to overcome daddy issues

Eating the rich (sexy version)

Bodies of water

Competency

Button homicide

Moronic tendencies

Fucking instead of therapy

Illicit selfies (illicit bc they’re both criminals, the pics themselves are cute)

Not communicating

Taking bullets for each other

[hannah-the-small]

“Soon as I can get down and get my legs back... I’m going to shove my boot up that dick’s ass in the least kinky way possible. Honestly, waiting outside until I finish my shift to complain again, gazpatcho is MEANT TO BE COLD MORON!!”

[denial-permanente]

Have you ever thought of having him castrated for permanent denial and watching his cock just flop around useless....

Hey everyone. Tom here because Mrs Edge is too upset to even touch this. I get that by running a popular blog we're going to get all kinds of questions. Normally we just delete the really far out ones, but we're both so disgusted right now that I figured it was worth another post.

Another post? Why yes - we did answer this right after we started this blog:

https://denial-permanente.tumblr.com/post/691796307086655488/have-you-ever-considered-castration

I had to dig to find it because Tumblr doesn't even allow you to search on the word.

I have been a member of the online kink community literally since there were online options - I'm talking dial up Usenet, and text-only web boards. I know we're all supposed to be tolerant and accepting, but I'm just going to say what a lot of us are thinking right out loud: Some of you guys are just fucking absolute unthinking morons.

Yes, this blog is filled with a lot of captioned pics about chastity, denial, mild femdom, and very mild humiliation. It is also filled with a lot of our comments, and dozens of answers from all sorts of questions ranging from technical questions to people wondering about our life. We post an Ask just about every day.

There is no way that anyone with some working brain cells could read a few of our posts and not be clued in that we are a fairly traditional, middle-aged, loving married couple that is having some mildly kinky fun to spice up our marriage.

Yet, we continue to get questions like "I love your blog, you have the perfect relationship. Have you considered cutting off his penis/ balls/ both/ /feeding him hormones/ turning him into a woman/ cutting the nerves to his penis/?" and other, even more ridiculous things.

What the actual fuck is the matter with some of you?

Yes, there are body modification communities, and eunuch communities, and some very extreme bdsm communities. And it should be very obvious that we aren't part of that scene. Sure, some people are "just asking a question," but seriously guys - you're thinking with your dicks. You're asking a question in hopes of getting more material to fuel your own fantasies. You aren't reading our posts, you're reading into our posts, and hoping that you'll end up with something you can wank to later on.

Why the reaction over this? Because cutting off intimate body parts, let alone making one's partner do so for a sexual kink, is not part of a loving relationship. If I have to explain why, then we are not existing in the same universe.

For the rest of you, the entire idea of keeping me locked and intact is because Mrs Edge likes the idea that I could, but because of her control, I can't. She likes knowing that I still get aroused for her, that I still desire her, that I still want her sexually. She also likes (most of the time) that I am traditionally masculine; to her, keeping me caged is like having a wild animal on a leash. It gives her a feeling of power and control. That power gives her a tingle that makes her sexually excited, which means we (ironically) have more sex than ever. Loving, passionate, intimate sex.

What we do - what we have both learned to share - we do because it enhances our intimacy, not degrades it.

[binaryeclipse]

DUde. Drop some rexwalker headcanons 😏

Hell yeah, let's go! Izzy's Rexwalker headcanons!

Anakin was a completely oblivious moron for longer than is reasonable. Everyone else knew about Rex's crush. Ahsoka figured it out within a month. Obi-Wan figured it out almost immediately and he spends less time with Rex than Anakin does.

Rex is aware that Anakin is a moron (and a genius) and at that point he sort of just accepted that he might just be the biggest clown for having this massive crush

It's not that it wasn't mutual pining, Anakin just didn't realize how he felt for a hot year minute

Definitely a battlefield confession of romcom proportions. Anakin took a battle droid head to his head about 5 seconds after and got a concussion

Rex is the big spoon because Anakin didn't think he could be the little spoon and Rex was determined to prove him wrong

I know I'm kinda known for my kinky smut but they give me huge vanilla sweetheart vibes. Spicing it up in the bedroom is doing it doggy style.

Well, except when Anakin is in power-bottom mode.

And when Anakin uses the Force during sex

Okay so maybe they're not 100% vanilla. They were both basically virgins when they got together (because Anakin sticking his dick in Padme a few times didn't prepare him for sex with a man) so they were figuring things out for a long time. They're 70% vanilla.

They switch 😤

I know they basically eat rations but if there was an opportunity they'd definitely be the couple where Anakin eats Rex's pickles for him

Rex is very aware that Anakin thinks it's hot when Rex manhandles him. Anakin is tall and lanky and generally kinda wiley so he's not used to it and most people don't try. Rex just takes it as a challenge that he's going to win

He doesn't always win. Anakin lets him because he's into it.

Honestly getting wrestled to the ground with Anakin's thighs around his head in hand-to-hand combat sparring is Rex's happy place and everyone knows it. And teases him about it.

Anakin tried to help Rex bleach his hair but it turned out orange and now he's not allowed to help

Anakin barely let Rex out of his sight after Umbara for a month. They didn't talk about it for even longer because Rex didn't want to talk and Anakin felt guilty for leaving and didn't want to address it.

They did talk eventually. It was cathartic.

They are very in tune with each other on the battlefield.

Rex is aware Obi-Wan is Anakin's best friend and is not above using him to make sure Anakin takes care of himself better as his Master / Superior Officer but that's only in the direst of circumstances for the most part he and Anakin are thick as thieves

Rex is also not above getting Ahsoka to bully Anakin into doing things and will gang up on him with Ahsoka because Ahsoka is his best friend and sometimes your boyfriend is wrong

Rex sees the best in Anakin, probably to a fault

Rex is one of the few people Anakin trusts implicitly

I'm sure there are more headcanons I have but that's off the top of my head. Thanks for the ask, nonny, it was really fun!