#this made me think because I always struggle with genuinely

[jewish-vents]

Please give me advice. I need help. October 7th and beyond has ruined my mental health.

I'm an Asian Jew and I couldn't be happy watching the Emmys. For those who don't know, Shogun made so much history. I want to be happy. I really do. It's HUGE.

I can't be happy. I'm aware of the tension. Two amazing Jews hosted but I felt it. I'm suddenly aware of everything. I'm immediately looking for the Jews. I'm aware that a lot of the people in that room are antisemitic. My anxiety and stress are off the charts.

I'm happy for the diversity and yet all I can think about is how things like diversity don't include Jews or think about us. I'm too aware of how invisible we are. And yet when we're visible it's too dangerous for us so we can never win. October 7th cemented the fact that these things like diversity aren't genuinely cared about. Because how can you claim to want diversity and equality and rights for minorites and hate Jews? Can someone explain?

An actor pointed out how diverse the Emmys are now. I feel nothing. The Covid pandemic brought a trend where everyone wants to fight oppression and support the oppressed. It was that same trend that has come to hurt us in every way. Everything feels fake to me now. This diversity can't mean anything to me when Jews are constantly being harassed, targetted, killed and hurt and these so called activists cheer.

How am I supposed to feel when the crowd that says "stop calling rape victims and women liars" don't believe Jewish women were raped on October 7th? In the eyes of activists, the people who are supposed to care about human rights and support diversity, we are liars who lie about everything especially rape and antisemitism.

I will slowly accept the fact that yes diversity is happening regardless of everything else and yes even the littlest change is still change and progress is always slow and painful. But I don't think I can ever accept how diversity excludes us. How social justice excluses us. How the left excludes us. How the world excludes us. I won't ever accept it.

To anon and everybody else struggling with their mental health:

We previously posted some mental health resources here. While therapy and psychiatric medication may not be accessible to everyone who needs them because of financial concerns, the support groups mentioned in the post are free, virtual, and available both to Jews and to people who are close enough to the Jewish community to be affected by the current situation.

[dollgxtz]

Okay I couldn’t stop thinking about this so I gotta ask, why DID Sylus take so long to rescue her? Was it like a sort of mental game of letting her suffer a bit outside so she realized how she had it better back at home with him, and then Sylus only stepped in right before things got too far? Or was he genuinely spending all that time traveling to her location after Mephisto tracked her and just so happened to be there right before she almost got attacked?

I don’t why I assumed it was the first option since he did mention last chapter that “he heard her call for him” , which made me think he was waiting for the pinnacle moment to step in and save her. But then I realized how genuinely fcked that would be since that would imply he was watching the attacker repeatedly fail to do what he wanted with mc.

You don’t gotta answer if there’s no actual canon context behind when Sylus appeared, I was just wondering!

THE STORY IS AMAZING SO FAR THOUGH I LOVE HOW YOU FRAME EVERYTHING 🥹❤️

This story’s always the highlight of my week <3

Hi Anon!

I feel so bad that people think my version of yan!Sylus was just letting her attacker do whatever he wanted until the right moment. I realize I wasn’t very clear on the timing, since it was from the reader’s perspective, but here’s how it would have played out from his point of view:

I imagine Mephisto would report back to him the audio of reader screaming and struggling with Reese and that man. But because Yan!Sylus was out of the N109 Zone dealing with urgent business related to a threat to Onychinus, it took him several days to return and save her. So the few-day sequence with her in the basement aligns with this. Mephisto would’ve been guarding the house from afar, listening within its walls and reporting back to Sylus.

He did let her run off, with Mephisto following her to see how long she could survive in the N109 Zone before she came crawling back. Someone else had already guessed correctly that part of this was to show her how good she had it with him, but I haven’t delved into that plotline yet. 😅

Lastly, to clarify (even though it’s a bit of a spoiler), he arrived at the house, heard the struggle, and noticed a hatch in the floor. Saw Reese freak out and try to run off and sent the twins after him. He rushed to the hatch and just as he was about to open it, he heard reader call his name.

This is partially my fault as the author for not being more detailed initially so can see how it looks that way. I just haven’t explored his perspective yet in the story, it’s all coming 🥲🙏

Despite having to spoil a teeny bit I think it’s important to clarify this one detail as people keep asking me about it and I feel so bad people think Yan!Sylus would let reader be almost raped :(

[whspermy-name]

Also proceeds to be the worst speller in existence

[nothingmatters-everythingmatters]

sometimes I think so much of "queer" discourse surrounds semantics and identity labels because people engaging in these spaces legitimately do not live life outside of the internet. I don't just mean they don't go outside or talk to real people, but the way they interact with real people is never truly free from the internet. I think this is just sort of how gen z are now unfortunately, so much of our lives are consumed by handheld devices and social media platforms, but I find it way more prevalent in artsy, liberal, tra-positive communities. (the amount of times I just hear people straight up quote popular tumblr posts or tiktok trends...)

and surrounding yourself in real life with people who frequent the same internet circles as you and thus hold the same beliefs is a great way to not end up experiencing anything actually real, and thus you never really learn anything from your life experiences or from other perspectives, much less experiences of relationships or sex or romance. leading to people caring way too much about words and perception with things like pronouns or microlabels or "validity." everything is about optics and holding the "correct" opinions because that's the state of the internet these days! of course they'd ignore the actual material aspects of oppression, what is the internet if not a breeding ground for consumerist distraction from dealing with the various staggering issues in society?

"touch grass" isn't even a good enough solution anymore. can you partake in any hobby without thinking of how other people would percieve it? can you have a conversation without parroting the words of a tiktok post? can you seek love and relationships without obscuring it in layers of branding? can you understand yourself, truly understand who you are, without obsessing over how it looks on a screen?

[quietwingsinthesky]

sometimes interpreting media through a shipping lens enhances it, on occasion even beyond the author’s original intent, but sometimes, you do have to accept that your ship was not in the heads of anyone making the source material and trying to force it to fit into evidence of your ship will severely hinder your ability to discuss the actual text.

[boy-above]

here's my new sona! its pronouns are it/he :3

[emile-hides]

Big buncha Mario Characters in my style + Headcanons

[katya-goncharov]

i'm constantly torn between hmm maybe i should get a diagnosis for at least one of the several ways i'm definitely neurodivergent and hmm but actually i'm slightly terrified that it will just give the tory government ammunition to take literally all my rights away

[forbiddcnsirvn]

instagram » DEVILSERPENT uploaded a new photo.

DEVILSERPENT: 

Five years. Half a decade. Sixty months. However you slice it, that’s how long Cyrek and I have been bound in this wild ride. The fucking audacity of us - two broken souls hitching their wagons to each other - is almost laughable. If you’re waiting for the sweet nothings and poetic drivel, you may want to hit the door right about now. Cyrek and I are not your garden variety, sickeningly saccharine, fairy-tale protagonists. Far from it. We’re at war against each other just as much as we love; there’s no grand castle with spires touching the sky, no enchanting serenades beneath balconies. Rather, we’re more akin to the shadows that creep out when the day fades away - a pair of misfits navigating the underbelly of life, perfectly content within our chaotic obscurity. Over the course of our relationship, we’ve traversed a veritable minefield. Losses that have reduced us to specters of our former selves, injuries leaving indelible marks on both flesh and psyche, and the harsh pangs of life, in general - dreams conceived and lost in the same cruel breath. Our journey has been anything but easy; we’ve crawled through the darkest tunnels, stumbling blindly, yet always feeling our way forward, together. We’ve helped each other to be the versions of ourselves.

Now Cyrek, that stubborn, yet undeniably irresistible arse, where do I even start? This one is a living, breathing paradox. Each day, he squares off against unseen opponents in the arena of his mind. Shite that could make the uninitiated squirm. Yet he stands tall, albeit a bit skewed, weathering the storms that batter him from within. He’s not the shining knight on a white horse; more like a war-weary soldier with tarnished chest, yet never hesitating to get back into the fray. The shadows he battles aren’t for the faint-hearted, yet he does. Every day. And here’s the part where I want to punch anyone who spouts that ‘just smile and be happy’ bullshit right in their cheery face. It’s not that easy. Not for him, not for any of us.

And yet - here’s the clincher - he’s the best damn father I could’ve asked for our kids. He’s not just dealing with his own demons, he will be teaching our kids how to duel with theirs, too. There’s no pretense, no false promises of ‘everything’s fine.’ He’s raw and real, and he’s showing our children that it’s okay to be human, to be flawed, to hurt, and to keep on fighting anyway. It isn’t a bed of roses. Hell, it’s more like a field of thorns with the occasional bloom. But those blooms are worth every scratch, every moment of pain. He’s taught me that beauty can be found in the most unexpected places, like the heart of a person who fights monsters and still tucks our kids into bed with a gentle smile and a story to make them dream of better things.

And I couldn’t have asked for anything better. I want more, in fact, I’d never want it to end. Here’s to our five years and more. I have loved you for so long, and undoubtedly, I always will.

Happy anniversary, sugar. @nxnbinarydracvla

[outer-edges]

JASKGKFKKSKS OH MY GOD UNCOVERED THE CURSED SPIDERSONA X TWILIGHT CROSSOVER I WROTE IN HIGH SCHOOL. LOSING MY MINDDDDD. BEING A TEENAGE GIRL DURING THE PANDEMIC WAS QUITE A TIME.

[qqqqqqqqqqq0]

i present to you the most useless talent i possess

[royalberryriku]

A little ramble about Socialist Alternative, leftist radicalisation and privilege. Mostly a vent of sorts so it's going to be messy.

//TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts, effects of capitalism on mental health and physical health, mentions of systematic abuse and oppression, etc.

"What radicalised you?"

If you're familiar with Australian leftist politics or just been to an Australian university, you've probably heard this line from Socialist Alternative at some point, particularly if you're a young leftist. At first, I personally didn't know how to answer this, but now? Now I do:

That's the wrong question, it's not about what radicalised me, it's about when I realised I wasn't allowed to exist. I think my main distrust of socialist alternative can be drawn here, as much as I respect their activism (as much as I don't like certain other parts of it and the organisation itself because of how it functions and is set up, among other things) and how they've helped the movements around me grow, I don't like their ethics because it always centres on feeling in the right when, honestly, that isn't what this fight was ever about. It's not simply about what pushes people to some realisation that capitalism isn't working, for many of us, it's about realising when we noticed that we were broken clogs that would always be discarded; realising that we wouldn't even live past 30 in a system that sees us as faulty parts and that'll end with us either starving to death or choosing to kill ourselves to have some semblance of control in a system that is so damning that it actively tries to kill us. And no I'm not even exaggerating, especially when it comes to disability and generally most marginalised groups. It's actively hostile to people like us.

This is taking out one strong example for myself here, but I just feel like every interaction has had an undertone of not really understanding the gravity of what's at stake on an individual level. I think, like Marx, they really don't have anything to lose but their chains, but for the rest of us? We have our lives, something I think others just can't quite comprehend here when I say being anti capitalist isn't a political choice, it's a matter of life or death because here just isn't any other option in order to survive. Don't get me wrong, I agree with Marx on many things, but I do think there's a difference between able bodies, white, middle class activism because capitalism is uncomfortable compared to when you're a minority that's doing this to be allowed to exist, and specifically I think there's a powerful element of privilege that's ignored, especially in the case of socialist alternative. Again, I respect their activism, but this dynamic of power and push being from a white, abled and middle to upper class lens (yes there are people who are minorities within the org, but they don't hold power and much say imo) has led to, in my view, a distorted sense of reality and, more pressingly, policy and vision that is about saving the working class rather than making a world where labour isn't a price you have to pay in order to be allowed to exist. It's not just the exploitation of the working class, though that's a huge part of it, it's also how hostile this system is to people who can't be used; who can't work or who are seen as dirty or wrong for trying to.

So when asked "so, what radicalised you?" I can only really think to reply with "when I realised that wanting to die wasn't my fault, but the people around me that convinced me that my lack of ability to produce is somehow my fault and that I somehow don't deserve basic survival". Because that's the reality and I think, at least with the SAlt members I've spoken to, that isn't something that's really understood; the gravity of this situation on a personal level and that it's not as simple as doing something to make yourself feel good or to have a moment of pride, sometimes (or oftentimes) it's literally survival.

Most of all, I think what cements this for me is the reply I get to when I've asked (genuinely and in good faith) about allegations about their internal environment being "toxic" and "cult like" and, as I explained to them, this is from many different people from different friend groups who all don't know each other but have had he same experiences:

"They're just jealous of us and our activism."

But jealous of what? In a fight for survival, none of us have the opportunity to feel jealous over how it's done because this isn't about feeling a bit better, it's about being allowed to exist. I think this really is what made me realise that this isn't about the right to live for them, but the ability to feel good for fighting on the behalf of people like me and my friends. And, to me, that's something to have healthy caution over when pity is how people have tried to control minorities in the past, and in my own personal experience.

[chron0ph0bia]

you parents constantly telling u the shit that you've been trying to unlearn surely is smth

[lesbianraskolnikov]

It is kind of funny thinking on my headcanon like naturally im googling that where im like Did anyone else have this thought and a few people yes! I tend to see other diagnoses which are usually fair. But also stumbling upon someone else thinking that by chance was so DELIGHTFUL i still clap when i see others mention it like YES!!! YEAH!!!!

[splatfest]

18, 20, 23 (Music asks) <3

from the year that you were born (2002):

+ headfirst for halos - my chemical romance + the fix is in - ok go

that has many meanings to you:

+ cable through your heart - bryan scary

that you think everyone should listen to:

+ sad boys - dazey and the scouts + saturdays for the boys (saturdays for the boys) - 1 trait danger

[stiingrayyyy]

Dating Headcanons F.H

What it’s Like to Date Five Hargreeves

Pairings — Five Hargreeves x Reader (pronouns not specified)

Summary — My headcanons for if you were Five’s lover.

Warnings — opinions, no plot, it’s all over the place, last one is semi-NSFW.

A/N — i try to avoid nsfw with five because yk.. in the show, he’s physically thirteen but this one was too funny not to add. let’s all just pretend there was a happy ending okay 😭😭. i wrote this before season four came out so let’s pretend it ended happily.

— if you want another version where it’s just headcanons of you and five in the apocalypse i’m down for that.

— I see headcanons where Five is straight up mean, manipulative, and where he’s just using you.

— To me, that’s not Five being in love with you. Have you seen how he treats Delores? HE’S SO SWEET TO HER.

— So if you’re his lover, he will give you princess treatment like no other, holy shit.

—He’ll prepare breakfast so it’s ready to be eaten when you wake up.

— He thinks breakfast in bed is a recipe for disaster so he never does that.

— If you take a while to wake up he’ll wake you up.

— “My love, breakfast is ready.” He’ll whisper into your ear before pressing a kiss onto your temple, then one on your forehead, then your nose… then finally a chaste kiss on your lips.

— He’ll tuck you in bed at night and make sure you’re all snug before leaving. If you can’t sleep he’ll read to you.

— With him around, you genuinely never have to open a door. In addition to paying for every meal, he always walks on the outside of the sidewalk. He also pulls the chair out for you when you sit and showers you with praise.

— Sometimes the praise is simple whispers in your ear because he isn’t much into PDA.

— There was never an official wedding, he stole two matching rings and gave one to you.

— He’d like to have an official wedding.

— If he has to worry about the apocalypse he’ll probably neglect you only because he thinks the fate of the world is in his hands.

— He loves going on simple dates, whether it’s at Griddy’s Doughnuts, a simple stroll in the park, or a little painting place.

— He’s fancy but he doesn’t see the point in expensive restaurants. He likes the little things.

— He loves to make and paint pottery with you, it’s his favourite thing to do.

— When he can’t sleep he’ll come over to your place and sit on the roof with you.

— If you fall asleep he’ll Blink into your room and tuck you in, and he’ll even leave a note for you to read when you wake up.

— It usually goes along the lines of..

“You fell asleep, don’t worry I made sure you got back in your room and I picked up all your stuffies from the floor and put them on the bed with you.”

— He struggles with insomnia.

— He’ll write you love letters even though it’s more convenient to send a text. He loves you and he’s willing to put effort in love notes.

— His primary love languages are quality time and acts of service.

— He doesn’t show much affection in public.

— He doesn’t mind holding your hand though.

— Five won’t be afraid to hold your hand, wrap an arm around your shoulders or waist while he’s with his siblings.

— Kisses and hugs are private though.

— Despite being private, he doesn’t hide the fact he’s dating you.

— If anyone tries anything on you, Five will glare daggers. If that’s not enough, he’ll threaten them, and if they keep pushing he’ll make them bleed (but not too severe 🥰)

— He’s hella protective.

— You make midnight munchies together.

— He’ll refuse to dance with you in the kitchen at 2am but he’ll reluctantly say yes and end up actually enjoying it.

— Same goes for dancing in the rain. He pretends to hate it but he loves it and you know he does.

— You always make pasta or noodles for midnight munchies.

— One time you made cookies and accidentally woke up Klaus who ate the cookie dough before you got to put it in the oven.

— When you guys had sex for the first time Klaus congratulated you and Five with a cake that said ‘virgin’ in the middle of a 🚫 and woke you up the next day with confetti.

— sorry, i know i said i’d have a part three to my ben hargreeves fic but i wrote it and didn’t edit it.. and it didn’t seem entertaining enough to post, i’m sorry.

— if you want headcanons with the apocalypse involved, let me know <3