#i genuinely hope this will come out ok omg

[forbiddcnsirvn]

instagram » DEVILSERPENT uploaded a new photo.

DEVILSERPENT: 

Five years. Half a decade. Sixty months. However you slice it, that’s how long Cyrek and I have been bound in this wild ride. The fucking audacity of us - two broken souls hitching their wagons to each other - is almost laughable. If you’re waiting for the sweet nothings and poetic drivel, you may want to hit the door right about now. Cyrek and I are not your garden variety, sickeningly saccharine, fairy-tale protagonists. Far from it. We’re at war against each other just as much as we love; there’s no grand castle with spires touching the sky, no enchanting serenades beneath balconies. Rather, we’re more akin to the shadows that creep out when the day fades away - a pair of misfits navigating the underbelly of life, perfectly content within our chaotic obscurity. Over the course of our relationship, we’ve traversed a veritable minefield. Losses that have reduced us to specters of our former selves, injuries leaving indelible marks on both flesh and psyche, and the harsh pangs of life, in general - dreams conceived and lost in the same cruel breath. Our journey has been anything but easy; we’ve crawled through the darkest tunnels, stumbling blindly, yet always feeling our way forward, together. We’ve helped each other to be the versions of ourselves.

Now Cyrek, that stubborn, yet undeniably irresistible arse, where do I even start? This one is a living, breathing paradox. Each day, he squares off against unseen opponents in the arena of his mind. Shite that could make the uninitiated squirm. Yet he stands tall, albeit a bit skewed, weathering the storms that batter him from within. He’s not the shining knight on a white horse; more like a war-weary soldier with tarnished chest, yet never hesitating to get back into the fray. The shadows he battles aren’t for the faint-hearted, yet he does. Every day. And here’s the part where I want to punch anyone who spouts that ‘just smile and be happy’ bullshit right in their cheery face. It’s not that easy. Not for him, not for any of us.

And yet - here’s the clincher - he’s the best damn father I could’ve asked for our kids. He’s not just dealing with his own demons, he will be teaching our kids how to duel with theirs, too. There’s no pretense, no false promises of ‘everything’s fine.’ He’s raw and real, and he’s showing our children that it’s okay to be human, to be flawed, to hurt, and to keep on fighting anyway. It isn’t a bed of roses. Hell, it’s more like a field of thorns with the occasional bloom. But those blooms are worth every scratch, every moment of pain. He’s taught me that beauty can be found in the most unexpected places, like the heart of a person who fights monsters and still tucks our kids into bed with a gentle smile and a story to make them dream of better things.

And I couldn’t have asked for anything better. I want more, in fact, I’d never want it to end. Here’s to our five years and more. I have loved you for so long, and undoubtedly, I always will.

Happy anniversary, sugar. @nxnbinarydracvla

[wrenhavenriver]

We have the same name spelled the same way and I got whiplash seeing someone with my name posting about games that I play, but also being 30. Not every day you get to see a blog from your future self and realize that maybe, just maybe things will turn out ok. I feel so comforted and I hope you have a lovely day. Your high school self is so proud.

what a lovely message omg. i'm so glad i could provide a bit of comfort for you from some time down the road, because in my experience things absolutely WILL turn out okay, especially once you get through all the Mandatory Shittiness of the teens/twenties!! your 30-year-old self is proud of you right back. be gentle with yourself during the Bad Times and just know that So Much Better is genuinely coming your way.

(and keep playing good video games, i've never regretted that part.)

[fernlessbastard]

So, what's the deal with this tnt duo art?

I've explained it in my reblog of this post, but I've decided to copy this over to a brand new post as well, because especially with qsmp happening I'm sure we have many newer people here who don't get what's the deal with this piece

Ok so first off: the artist is _olga.exe_ on Instagram (I think also on twitter but i don't use Twitter so you'll have to check that one yourself)

To the best of my understanding this art just came out around June 2021, which was immediately after the first Revivedbur/Quackity interaction. The first two or so months the ship was exclusively seen as a crack ship - I'm not fully certain why, I think it's just that quackbur before wasn't all that known and popular, so it seemed like it came out of nowhere to the majority of the internet (which, it didn't, holy shit, those sluts have been so gay with each other for so long). It also was a time when most people only began realising that ccQuackity was capable of serious lore, which most likely added to how the ship was seen. Even I myself actually was very hesitant to bring it up to my partner, when I began slowly getting into it - of course while simultaneously deluding myself that it's nothing more than a crack ship for me (@octobre-ackedia oh would you look at how we ended up--).

This art was one of the first pieces that were fully serious, and couldn't be construed in any way shape or form as /p, so it got picked up by people on twitter and memed on. Around September 2021 tntblr began reclaiming it (and if I remember correctly we had a boom of posts sharing the original artist about that time).

In this surge of new people beginning to ship those two that's been happening for the past year or so, I need you all to remember that quackbur started off first as a very underground ship that almost no-one spoke of, and then became a crack ship. The header on my blog doesn't come from a "ha ha funny" self deprecating meme. #twquackburshipping was a tag that someone seriously used to tag a post about how Eret commented on some tntduo/r tiktok.

I get how easy it is to forget how anti-mainstream of a ship quackbur used to be (or simply miss that, if you're newer - which, for the record, no shame, I'm happy to see the new faces!), considering ccQuackity's endorsement of it in the last months of dsmp, not to mention what's happening on qsmp, but all those "omg I'm a quackbur shipper ha ha don't hate me ha I'm cringe I know" jokes used to genuinely not be jokes something like 1,5 years ago.

I hope this explains it thoroughly, and to everyone a little bit newer to the ship: welcome! Glad to see you here, remember to have fun, and if you've got any questions, feel free to ask me :]]

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - All's Quiet on the BL Front

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

May 2024 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Wandee Godday (Sat YT) ep 3 of 12 - I love how were getting a solid depiction of two queers just genuinely enjoying sex with each other. That’s actually rare in BL. In this case, it manages to also be weirdly adorable and cute.

Dee is such a tease. I guess Y likes a brat? 

LOOK at those bedroom eyes!

Linguistics corner: when these two are being serious, sweet, or flirty with each other they use rao/nai which is kind of old fashioned and charming and not common in BL. They move pretty seamlessly into gu/mueng and back depending on the style of convo, tho. It's FUN to hear them talk.

Let the fake relationship commence!

My Stand-In (Thai Fri iQIYI) ep 4 of 12 eps - I HAVE THOUGHTS. I'm really enjoying the sinister backbone of this show. I hope they have the courage of their convictions in that regard and lean into a kind of sexy evil revenge narrative. It was a pleasure to watch the break up and I do not want a redemption arc for Ming or a romance for us. Fuck 'em, let’s just ride a revenge train, okay Joe baby?

That’s said, I totally sniffled at the ending scene where Ming (for two years!) has been paying penance cooking for two and waiting alone. Excellent pathos. Now, I understand how they're gonna make this a full 12 eps. And I’m excited about it. Carry on!

We Are (Weds iQIYI) ep 7 of 16 - I wasn't a fan of Winny & Satang in My School President but I'm loving them in this. The thing with Q, Toey, and Chain had me hooting with laughter. I think I’m finally just easing into the relaxed absurdity of this show. The key is not to expect anything from it. Just them being tiny gay idiots.

Two Worlds (iQIYI) ep 10 fin - Someday I’d like to really enjoy a MaxNat show, but today was not that day. (I feel like ever since Between Us I’ve been generally disenchanted with established OG pairs and what they’re bringing to the table. Perhaps that’s a discussion for another day. Cherry Magic excepted, of course.) 

OK, so this final episode, they sure tried to fit a lot in. But that made the pacing better for me. So I kinda liked this weird cliff notes resolution to the story.

In conclusion:

MaxNat do a credible job with a messy script about parallel worlds, gangsters, and strange diseases cured by forest fruits. It sounds confusing because it is. The chemistry is excellent the side pair is entirely forgotten about, and one could drive a Tardis through the plot holes. Still, I found it modestly enjoyable if not at all rewatchable. 7/10 

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 6 of 12 - I do love how bold and brash Moo is. He’s truly a great character, such an utter outgoing sunshine puppy focused on his pursuit of his older boy. I'm charmed by his utter harmlessness. They gave us a sweet coming out scene, and an awesome supportive mom. Frankly GMMTV has a good track record with moms. (With a few noted exceptions, of course.)

That said, I do keep forgetting this is a GMMTV offering. It just doesn't FEEL GMMTV. Just me?

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ????) ep 1 of 10 - Starts tomorrow, will report on sitch next week. LeeFrank are back - not unlike the undead. But how do we feel about it? Unsure given their track record.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - I like it. I like our sulky 2nd lead. He’s pouty, adorable, brash, and adding some much-needed tension to this narrative. The blurring lines between show within a show is a lot of fun. Probably the best I've seen done in BL so far.

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - I like that we got backstory, but we also sort of already knew it. So this ep felt a bit like filler. They are wonderful when they’re on screen together but when they aren't it's a bit dull. I hope we just get them together for the next 4 eps. But this is Japan, so I doubt it.

Blossom Campus (Korea Thurs Gaga & iQIYI) ep 1 of 6 - The image resolution on this show (via Iqiyi ) is terrible. Meanwhile, awkward crush. Jock nerd pairing. Dorky. Maybe a bit too much awkward/dorky for me? I'm not sold on this one.

Meanwhile the ordering then not eating or drinking of food continues. Very upsetting.

Boys Be Brave (Korea Viki) eps 5-8fin - This show was just never sure what it wanted to be. Slacker sunshine KiSub moves in with nerd JinWoo, mostly because he knows JinWoo likes him but won't confess and that's never happened to him before. It reminded me of some earlier KBLs like Behind Cut, yes is had bones but not much flesh, so it only just hung together and progressed through not very much plot in a jerking rattling fashion like an animated skeleton. All the story and chemistry was with the side couple and none of the screen time. That just annoyed me. What did this BL want to BE? Who tf knows. I, for one, don’t care, and resolve to think no more on it. 6/10 

Blue Boys (Korea Sat YouTube) - This ended at 4 eps on a cliffhanger. Since this is a very small studio I don’t have a lot of faith in there being a part two. But they have bundled both this BL, and the GL, bingable chunks on YT. So if you want to binge it, it’s there. Just be aware that it ends on a cliffhanger.

My thoughts?

Promising reunion romances full of class and coming out struggles but I grade with what we got, not on expectations, and you know I HATE a cliffhanger. So yeah, it HAD promise but as of now it gets a 4/10 - fatally flawed. I reserve the right to change my mind if they amend for damages.

It's airing but...

You Made My Day (Thai YT) ep 1 of 5 - mini series staring the I Will Knock You couple Tar & Bom, started but I couldn't find it. I also didn't try very hard.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

A Balloon's Landing (Taiwan movie) trailer - A frustrated Hong Kong writer, Tian Yu, meets a Taipei street gangster, Xiang (Fandy Fan from HIStory2: Crossing the Line), and the two of them embark on a journey to find the Bay of Vanishing Whales. Along the way, they discover unexpected twists and turns and close bonds, which brings out the message that "there is always someone like you in this world who is waiting for you. This released to cinemas in Taiwan, no word on international release.

In case you missed it

A really really thorough and fascinating article on 2 Moons 2 and what happened.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

May Releases

VBL (Taiwan) is releasing 4 'Special Episode' epilogues to their 4 2023 shows every Friday this month on Gagaoolala, Viki & Viu. Not sure on search terms or how to find these. (Or, frankly, if we need them.)

5/10 – You Are Mine

5/17 – VIP Only

5/24 – Stay By My Side

5/31 – Anti Reset

5/25 The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer - HoTae & DongHee are back but unfortunately not in a cinema near me. Side couple from Unintentional Love Story, same actors, same character names. I love them. I NEED TO SEE THIS.

5/28 My Biker 2 (Thai movie YT?) - trailer

5/30 Knock Knock Boys (Thai Thurs WeTV) - I'm hoping I can get it elsewhere since my WeTV account is inactive, but I do love Best and I'm interested in seeing him in a new pairing. That said, I'm not wild about Seng... so I won't be too cut up if I can't get hold of this. More here.

5/31 The Time of Huannan (Taiwan movie) - May not be BL

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I'm a sucker for this king of casual claiming. (Only Boo)

It me! (Wandee Goodday)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @sunflower-positiiivity @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

[musings-of-a-college-dork]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRwEC2cV/

You should do a fic based off this with Eddie Munson

OMG YES YES YES YES YES!

Me or D&D?

Eddie Munson x fem!Reader

Word count: roughly 1.2K

Eddie wants to work on his Hellfire Campaign…but his girlfriend has other plans…

Warnings: Slight NSFW (reader flashes Eddie), terms of endearment (sweetheart, baby), reader has boobs, use of Y/N, silly slight NSFW fluff!  

Author’s note: Ok so I received an ask based on this tik tok for Eddie and it literally haunted my thoughts all day today so I knew I had to write it asap! It’s so very on-brand for him and anyway to the anonymous user who requested it THANK YOU SO MUCH and I hope this fits the vibe you were going for! 

Y/N let out a sigh as she finally flipped off the shower. It had been a long day so the very first thing she wanted to do upon reaching Eddie’s was to take a shower, something he happily granted her. He had a new plot to work on for D&D something about the cultists.

“You see they need a motive,” he had been explaining on the car ride over, so animatedly she wondered if he was even looking at the road. “That’s been the issue! There hasn’t been a motive-”

“Eddie! Eyes on the road!” Y/N scolded as she clutched onto her seat.

“And before that was fine,” he rambled on, no change to his driving whatsoever, “But now we’re far enough down the line that they’re starting to question me and the one thing I won’t tolerate is being questioned!”

“The one thing?” she had teased with an eye roll. "The list I could come up with of things you don't tolerate. Basketball players, school in general, any music that you deem 'fake music'-"

“Oh come on!" Eddie exclaimed, driving a bit too close to the edge of the curb for Y/N's comfort before swerving back over, "Some music is just bad and you know it!” He shot her a little glance and a smile, “And I always let you question me! It’s just those idiots I don’t take it from!”

“Uh-huh,” she nodded with a little laugh.

And so needless to say as soon as the pair had entered the house Y/N had set down her things, heading for the shower and Eddie had thrown himself right back into his campaign. Hence that was exactly where she found him as she stepped out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel and feeling remarkably refreshed. 

Eddie, much to Y/N's amusement, was laying stomach down on the trailer floor surrounded by guidebooks, maps he had painstakingly sketched himself with intricate levels of detail, and pages upon pages of notes. 

“Eddie, I’m gonna get dressed so we can watch a movie, ‘kay?” Y/N called as she watched him work, not even looking up from the page he was holding as he chewed his pencil in his mouth.

“Mhm,” he replied absence-mindly, obviously not hearing a word she said. 

“I’m going to order from Enzo’s, do you want anything?” She said as she walked into his bedroom, searching for one of his shirts and her pants from earlier. 

“Oh wow,” he replied from the other room causing her to let out a soft chuckle. I could say literally anything right now and he wouldn’t clock it. 

“I’ve decided I’m going to go to school naked tomorrow,” she called, glad Wayne wasn’t home to hear her jests since he’d definitely have some questions. 

“Whatever you say, sweetheart.” That got a genuine laugh out of her as she pulled on his shirt and her pants, using a mirror to make sure her hair wasn’t going to dry funny…but looking at herself in the mirror gave her an idea. A small smirk came to her face at the thought as her hand trailed down to mess with the hem of her shirt.

I wonder what will get his attention…?

With that, Y/N turned and headed toward the room. When she arrived, Eddie hadn’t moved an inch but his position had changed. Pencil still tapping against his lips, he was holding one of the maps now, seemingly muttering something to himself that was too low for her to hear. 

“Eddie?” She asked as she slowly made her way over to him, double-checking all the blinds were closed. 

“Mmm?” He hummed, still not looking at her as he scanned the man for some invisible linking detail to fully tie together his campaign. She shook her head with a smile as she came to kneel close enough to him that she knew she was in his visible but far enough away to not disrupt his current chaos. After having seen him fuss at the Hellfire members one too many times for exactly that, she knew it would only deter her plan and she didn't have time for that. 

“Eddie, baby,” she cooed, “Before you get too deep into…all of this, would you just take one second to look at me?” She watched as her words this time did seem to register just a bit since she was now closer in proximity and she received her reward.

“Yea-” Eddie’s eyes went wide and his jaw dropped ever so slightly as he turned to see his girlfriend on her knees, in her jeans and one of his shirts…well sort of in one of his shirts. Because the second he turned to face her, Y/N lifted the hem to reveal her boobs, her boobs without a bra. His face instantly lit up into a large smile as he processed exactly what he was seeing, the pencil still in his grip as he grinned like an idiot. 

He took a moment to look back at the map he had been examining but couldn’t help to look back at her as well, causing Y/N to beam as she continued to hold up the shirt.

“So…” she prompted in a sing-songy tone, “Would you rather do that right now,” she gestured with her free hand to the map, “Or, would you rather do this?” Eddie gasped at her question and fully turned to look at her with a look of mock hurt and disbelief written across his face. 

“What kind of a choice is that?” He scoffed, making her giggle. “What kind of question is that?” He scrunched his nose making her laugh harder, drawing his eyes to the way her chest moved as she did. A smirk came to his face as he looked back into her eyes, holding onto the map as he had before she had effectively flashed him. “I’ve been waiting to work on this,” He held up the map to her but kept his gaze locked with hers, still smiling, “alllllll day,” his dramatics had her giggling again as he shook his head, eyes flickering between her and her boobs still on full display, “Damn Y/N, what kind of a question is that?” The girl had a little huff of her own and faked a pout as she looked at him, making her eyes especially wide and pitiful.

“So…” She began to lower her shirt down, keeping that same pouty look, “You picked-”

“No, no, no!” He said quickly as he threw down the map and pencil, effectively leaping to tackle his girlfriend into the carpet, sending them both sprawling to the ground. Y/N let out a little squeal which dissolved into giggles as he laid his head right on top of her chest. Eddie’s hands trailed up her sides as he pulled her close to him.

“You better be damn proud of yourself L/N,” he said with a teasing scold as he nestled right up into her as her body shook with laughter, “You’re the only person on the face of the entire Earth, in the whole frickin’ universe, that I’d set aside D&D for!” 

“For me?” Y/N asked as she tapped her finger to her lips, pretending to think before looking down at him with a smirk, “Or for my boobs?” 

“Hmmm…” He returned her smirk as he moved his hand and began to push up the shirt she was wearing once again, “Well L/N…you’ve got me there.”

“Eddie!!”

“You! Obviously you!” 

Yay!!! Omg, my first request! Y’all, I can’t even tell you how excited I was when I got this! First off, the tik tok is absolutely adorable, and second off, I was so excited to write it because I could see exactly how it would play out with the two of them in my brain! Eek anyway, to whoever requested it, THANK YOU SO MUCH! It was so fun to write and I hope it’s what you hoped it would be! Anyway, requests are open anytime y’all!

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

what happened in switzerland?

mick schumacher x singer!f!reader

fc: gracie abrams bc i have no self control

britishvogue posted...

liked by ynofficial, alexachung and 231,926 others

britishvogue: Singer y/n l/n recently attended a music festival in Australia after her break from social media and the public eye. In an interview conducted by a fan, she explained how she was excited to see what the future has in store and is looking forward to releasing new music after an inspiring trip to Switzerland this Winter.

view all comments

fan1: FINALLY MOTHER HAS RETURNED

fan2: get this woman a grammy immediately

fan3: pls she's so cute 😭

fan4: at this point i genuinely think i'm in love with her

fan5: this is amazing and all but i'm wondering why switzerland?

fan6: switzerland is actually very beautiful so it makes sense that she was inspired when she visited

fan7: fr like switzerland in the winter???? cold but GORGEOUS

liked by alyahcs, alexachung and 791,193 others

ynofficial: i feel like it'd be weird to ignore the fact that i kind of went offline for about a year and a half (and i only just found out that virtually nobody had seen me either) so i'm letting you guys know that i'm alive, well, happy, and writing again - and i'm so excited to announce that a new single, 'happy endings', will be released at midnight tonight!

also, have some (2) pictures from the last 18 months, photographed in my new happy place 🥰

view all comments

fan8: YOU LOOK SO HAPPY IM SO EXCITED

fan9: happy endings will either destroy my mental health or leave me a sobbing mess on the bathroom floor (wrong, it'll do both)

fan10: switzerland is officially on my bucket list of countries to visit

ynofficial: good girl👍👍👍👍

fan10: imdead 🧎🧎

fan11: i'm 🫶 so 🫶 proud 🫶 of 🫶 you 🫶

ynofficial: STOP YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH

georgerussell63: looking forward to hearing it!

liked by ynofficial

mickschumacher has posted to their story...

liked by mclaren, lissiemackintosh and 360,184 others

mercedesamgf1: it's official: the boys are all in their 'happy endings' eras! 🥳

view all comments

fan12: came for the driving update, left knowing we can stan the merc boys

fan13: AS THEY BLOODY WELL SHOULD BE

fan14: idk bout you but mick is cheesing a little too hard at that question 😏

fan15: i thought that too, but he probably just has a little crush, bless his soul 🥰

fan16: i wasn't convinced but after i saw lewis likes her music, i listened to her recent single and omg it's actually incredible

fan17: is this the same y/n that mick posted about the other day?

fan18: yes!

liked by ynofficial, phildunster and 483,188 others

mercedesamgf1: familiar faces in the garage. fabioquatararo, tomholland2013 and ynofficial are attending the race on behalf of us (by popular demand 😉)

view all comments

fan19: i hope the drivers begged them to invite ynofficial 😞

mercedesamgf1: who says they didn't? 🤔

fan20: I BET IT WAS MICK

fan21: GIVE ME A TOM AND Y/N INTERACTION I'M BEGGING YOU

fan22: tom??? fabio is a literal motogp wc 😭

fan23: scraping for crumbs of y/n rn GIVE US EVERYTHING YOU HAVE

mercedesamgf1: 🫡

liked by estebanocon, connor_swindells and 519,312 others

ynofficial: thank you mercedesamgf1, this weekend has been INSANE!!! also, a massive shout out to mickschumacher for being the best tour guide 😁

view all comments

fan24: ok panic over *mops up forehead* 😌

fan25: aw i was kinda hoping they were dating, they'd be cute together 🥲

fan26: this^

fan27: the way they both looked like they were having fun 😊

fan28: PLS HIS FACE IT'S TOO CUTE AHHSDJF

fan29: omg she did a hot lap BABE WHO WAS THE DRIVER

ynofficial: mickshumacher!

fan30: oh. my. god.

mercedesamgf1: content coming soon 😉

fan31: i'm dying someone send helllllpppppp

fan32: why am i fighting the urge to squeal after that merc comment

fan33: no bc same that emoji defo implies something

mickshumacher: had an awesome time with you this weekend ☺️

liked by ynofficial

fan34: shooting his shot

fan35: yk what, i'd probably do the same

liked by landonorris, stephbohrer and 591,374 others

mickschumacher: austria 😁

view all comments

fan36: hmm yeah they're probably dating let's be honest

fan37: but he was only her tour guide and it's kind of natural that he'd get photos of her, esp considering she was invited as a merc guest?

fan38: true but when has mick ever done that before?

fan37: i'm just saying, the last thing we want to do is assume things bc there's a perfectly reasonable excuse as to why they've been spending time together

fan39: FUCKING BROAD SHOULDERS 🫠🫠

fan40: i just know y/n took that 😭

fan41: kay but all those photos are just so cute

fan42: right???

callum_ilott: 🤨

liked by danielricciardo, kaitlyndever and 691,320 others

ynofficial: my new album 'STAYING AT SEB'S' is out next week and i'm so excited for you all to finally hear it!

view all comments

fan43: seb's? as in seb vettel's farm?

fan44: just how did you draw that conclusion????

fan43: bc she could be dating mick and seb owns a farm in switzerland and i'm pretty sure she knows daniel ricciardo through her manager who knows seb vettel. it's far-fetched but it's not impossible

fan45: if this is right...🤯

fan46: OMG I'M SO EXCITED I JUST SHIT MYSELF IN COSTCO

fan47: i'm gonna listen to this because i'm a massive fan of baby goats

ynofficial: omg i love that for you

fan48: is it a happy album or soul-crushingly depressing

ynofficial: 🤷

fan49: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN GIRLIE 💀

charles_leclerc: no bc i'm so excited

fan50: charles lmao

ynofficial: 🫶

liked by ynofficial, sebastianvettel and 691,186 others

mickshumacher: happy two years, sweetheart 💗 there's never been a day i haven't been in complete awe of your existence; i love and appreciate you everyday

view all comments

fan51: oh. em. acca. gee.

fan52: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

fan53: I SHIP IT. I SHIP IT SO HARD

fan54: babe calm down, they've sailed already

fan55: i'm crying pls the way she looks at him HAS ME BLUSHING

georgerussell63: congrats to the happy couple!

estebanocon: about time our dts gossip session came to light 🤣

danielricciardo: fucking finally 😁

lewishamilton: 💜

fan56: the support from the drivers is melting meeeee

liked by mercedesamgf1, laurawoodsy and 712,001 others

ynofficial: happy 2 years to my favourite person, the love of my life, the most adorable human being ever created, and my best friend. it's been a blast so far and i'm loving every second of it 🥰

view all comments

fan57: can i ask if mick is the inspiration for 'happy endings'?

ynofficial: he's actually the inspiration for the whole album

fan58: he's so golden retriever

sebastianvettel: i can confirm this is true

danielricciardo: hello??? seb??? look at my texts

fan59: ok he's hot

fan60: THE MOTORBIKE AND THE ARMS 😭🥵

fan61: she's out here creating thirst traps of her bf

fan62: honestly if he looked like mick, i think i would too

fan63: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY 'STAYING AT SEB'S'??????

ynofficial: SEB VETTEL

charles_leclerc: 😲

estebanocon: 😲

lewishamilton: 😲

danielricciardo: 😲

landonorris: 😲

ynofficial: kay wtf

[faithst]

ZB1 WHEN SOMEONE FLIRTS/STARES WITH/AT THEIR S/O WHILE SHOPPING

pairing zb1 x mostlygn!reader

genre fluff, comedy

notes hii, i hope you’re doing fine aswell anon <3 thank you for requesting and being patient, i hope you enjoy this !

masterlist<3

— zhang hao

hao was looking for some more hairclips and found some really cute ones

and he wanted to get your opinion on them

so he grabbed some and went to look for you

but then he saw some other person with you 🤔

he went closer and heard that the person asked for your number so he swooped in

“oh hey, dear. look what i found!”

side-eyes the person but it’s discreet so they don’t notice

shows you the hairclips with the most brightest smile ever 🎀

“aren’t they the cutest? do you want one?”

doesn’t wait for your answer and just pulls you to where he found the hairclips and leaves the person standing there 🧍

“i know i saved you, no need to thank me.”

— sung hanbin

he’s accompanying you

most likely there to help you pick out some clothes

he finds matching shirts and is like

‘omg, i must get these’ 😮

he’s all giddy and stuff to show you the shirts

and then he sees someone talking to you

and he’s like “oh! who’s this?”

at first he thinks that the person you’re talking to is a friend

and then he overhears the bad pickupline and is shook 😀

politely interrupts with a smile and pulls you away

“hi, sorry to interrupt but i just left something that i believe belongs to me.”

— seok matthew

asked you to accompany him

and you’re head over heels for him so you agreed

he needs more of his perfume (cologne?? idk) and starts explaining to you why his perfume scent is the best 👍

and while he’s explaining, he notices someone staring at you

doesn’t really care until they come up to you and start flirting

he steps in the middle of both of you and goes ‘hey buddy.’ 😃

you get a bit worried because matthew is a buff guy

“smell this. good right?”

the person agrees and they talk about the perfume

and you’re just there

they finally finish chatting and you both walk out the store and matthew looks so happy 😭

“they have good taste! too bad, both you and this perfume are mine.”

— shen ricky

mr. young and rich is spoiling you obv 😗

he tells you that you can grab anything you want and he’ll pay for it

you declined at first but he was like ‘i’m being serious, go all out’

so you instantly rushed to grab things (get that bag !)

he was waiting for you at the cash register

and he noticed that you were gone for waaaayy too long and got worried

so he went to find you and saw you conversing with someone else

as soon as he stepped in,

the person was like ‘uh.. i have to go now’

his aura is intimidating, ok. 😃

“what was that about?”

— park gunwook

is there to help you shop

mostly bcuz he likes being w you

he offers to hold all your bags 🫢

then he notices someone staring at you

and he’s staring back

he does not stop staring

he’s like cursing with his eyes cuz he’s too polite to say it directly 👍

you see this and you’re like ‘???’

it actually scares them off

you didn’t know what was going on so you asked why he was staring like that to an innocent person

“innocent? they were literally threatening me!”

— kim taerae

helping you to pick out clothes for an event

cuz he thinks his fashion sense is 100% better than yours 😐

and you disagree

so you both split up, picking out different clothes to compare whose is better

so when taerae was done, he went to find you

and saw you with someone he didn’t recognize

he genuinely thinks it’s an old friend of yours

so he comes in like “oh my god! long time no see!”

they continue to flirt w you and taerae is like

“i hope you know cpr cause you just took my breath away.” “that’s kinda funny, shouldn’t you be dead by now?” 😭

he keeps laughing at their flirting and they get annoyed and leave

“your friend is a funny one!”

— kim gyuvin

you dragged him with you

you insisted it would be fun

and then he was stuck walking around with you for hours and kept complaining his legs hurt 😦

so he just stopped walking for a while

and since he didn’t want to get lost again, he went to look for you

and he did

but he found you with another person !

and he saw the flirtatious winks they gave

and started screaming “STRANGER DANGER!!” ‼️

granted, it scared the guy off

but it also got you both kicked you out of the store

“i’m a lifesaver!”

— kim jiwoong

he’s accompanying you pt. 2

just follows you everywhere and doesn’t say anything

unless you ask for his opinion on something

got distracted by the perfumes and lost you 😭

and then he found you with another guy

overhears the failed flirting

and walks in, putting his arm around your shoulder

eyes the guy up and down and starts interrogating him 😀

“how old are you? where do you work at? what’s your salary?”

the guy thinks that jiwoong is your dad and is trying his best to get his approval

“yeah, no. you failed the test. let’s go, babe.”

— han yujin

you invited him along

and he agreed cuz he likes doing stuff w you

judges your preference in items the whole time 😔

went to go hide somewhere to try and scare you by randomly popping up

until some guy comes up to you and starts flirting

at first he doesn’t know what to do and just kinda stands there 🧍

but he couldn’t take it so he interrupts them

“can we go get icecream? pleaseeee” practically begging

you got weirded out by the guy and wanted to escape so you agreed

while walking away, yujin turns around and sticks his tongue out at the guy

and mouths ‘loser’ while he’s at it 🫵

“good thing i saved him from you.” “aw, than- wait, what?”

© keiwook | 2023

[milaisreading]

Hello~ Just want to tell you that your blue lock manager series is absolutely amazing! Feel that my life have became better since I found your blog. I already dropped some requests in your ask box, hope that was ok. x) and I definitely wanna read the part 2 about y/n's time with Bastards. I can imagine that Kaiser and Ness both want her attention (Ness is happy at heart that she likes him more that Kaiser and Kaiser wants go get her attention for himself finally) and Noa warm up for her too and now wants her to stay as official Bastards manager (poor real official manager, omg x)).

Oh, sorry, I can't be short not only in requests, which seems like a headcanons, not like requests, but also in my thoughts and messages. x)

Bless your blog! Wish you lots of inspiration! And feel free to talk and rant about bllk or manager to me if you want.

Author: Here ya go! They would all three honestly be a mess right after she leaves😭 it's funny to think of it tbh. Hope u enjoy this one tho!

Warnings ⚠️ : reader uses she/her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue lock belongs to:Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

Basically a continuation of this

'This is just like the first day at Blue Lock... I am about to throw up...' (Y/n) gulped as she nervously played around with the hem of her new uniform. It felt weird to be wearing the Bastard München one, when for the past months she had been wearing the one of Blue Lock.

'Is this what butterflies in the stomach feel like?!' (Y/n) thought as she waited for the coach to walk out of his office.

'Can't believe I will ne working for THE Noel Noa for the next 3 weeks! Should I ask him for an autograph for Isagi? No, that would be creepy! Haaaa I think Ego-san in the beginning was less stressful.' (Y/n) gulped as the door finally opened and the white-haired man walked out.

"Ah, you are here already. Pretty early too, I thought you won't be here until 8." Noa said, sounding genuinely surprised that (Y/n) was there earlier, since it was only 6.30.

"I always start earlier back in Japan. Sorry."

The girl said, sounding a little panicked that the man might find it weird.

"No need to apologize, it's good to that you did come earlier. It will give me now more of a chance to show you around. Come." Noel said as (Y/n) followed after the man.

'So cool!'

The tour around the stadium lasted for about an hour, with Noel giving her some introductions where certain places and rooms are, as well as what her role will be.

'Essentially I am doing what I did at Blue Lock, just for a professional team. I can do that!' (Y/n) perked up as Noel called out her name again.

"Yes?"

"If Kaiser says something uncalled for, tell me. He can be quite a handful." The French player explained as (Y/n) nodded her head.

"Thank you Noel-san, I will keep that in mind. I just wanted to know what the training plan was for the next 3 weeks? And if I can have a list with all the players? I want to be able to write the progress the players make during my time here."

"You won't be needing those, as I said you are just doing what you did in Japan-"

"I actually do that."

Noel blinked down at the girl as she felt her face turn redder in embarrassment.

'I shouldn't have said that?!'

"Ego makes you do all that?" The coach asked as the girl shook her head.

"Not really! I do it on my own freewill, I like keeping notes and analyzing." (Y/n) explained, which made Noel nod his head and then pointed at a nearby bench.

"You can wait over there, I will get you those things."

(Y/n) sighed in relief as she did as told and Noel went to his office to get the requested items.

'I wonder how the player here usually are. I know they are good,monsters more, when they play against other teams, but watching them train will be so cool!' (Y/n) thought, not realizing that two figures were approaching her, until...

"Ah! Ness, your little girlfriend is here." Kaiser exclaimed, putting an arm around the girl's shoulder.

"Kaiser, please leave her alone." Ness said, sounding a little annoyed as the girl looked at them both.

"Where did you two even come from? I didn't hear you."

"You looked lost in your thoughts, maybe that's why you didn't hear us. We came a little earlier to greet you." Ness explained. (Y/n) nodded her head, blushing a little as he smiled and removed Kaiser's arm from her. The blonde tsked a little as the two talked, still not over the fast that a girl picked Ness over him.

'Well I do have 3 weeks to change her mind.' Kaiser thought as he watched the duo talk over some random things.

"Good job you two. That was a pretty cool trick." (Y/n) said as she handed the duo their water bottles. It was the 2nd day by now and (Y/n) had made out a plan on what and how to do things. Noel was positively surprised how well she adjusted to the team and by the notes she had taken in the two days. Ness and Kaiser would act as her translators if one of the senior staff members told her something or to go to the store.

"You are doubting the great Michael Kaiser now?" The blonde wondered as Ness clapped a little.

"Well, the bar for you is low, so whatever you do will be interesting." (Y/n) said back, and to Kaiser's surprise Ness said nothing. He would usually attack anyone who offended Kaiser, but he couldn't bring himself to be the same with (Y/n). Something about the girl just warmed his heart, and he couldn't deny the small bit of satisfaction that she had picked him over Kaiser back then.

"Is that so? Then you will be in for a ride. Better keep your socks on unless you want me to knock them off."

"Hmmm..."

"So you finished the papers I gave you?" Noel asked at the end of the first week, surprised with how fast she had done the job. He expected her to need the whole 3 weeks to finish, but here he was holding them.

"Yeah, Ness and Kaiser helped me out with the translations and I got this ready too."

(Y/n) said, handing Noel the notebook she had been using for the past week. The man quietly started reading as a knock was heard and Kaiser barged in.

"Noel, is (Y/n) done yet? Ness and I are hungry!"

The man looked up from the notebook and looked at the blonde in confusion.

"What does she have to do with it? Just go and eat."

"She owes us food for being her translators." Kaiser argued as Ness peeked inside.

"This was Kaiser's idea."

Noel sighed and nodded his head, telling the three they are free to go. Once Ness and Kaiser pulled (Y/n) out, Noa kept on reading the notes, amazed with some of the things that caught her eyes.

"Hmm..."

"We are going to that food stand!" Kaiser announced as Ness stayed quiet while (Y/n) looked at it in confusion.

"Here? Alright, I would have expected you two to prefer some fancier place." (Y/n) commented as Ness patted her back and Kaiser handed her a piece of paper.

"I wrote down what you should order, now don't make my hours of teaching you German go futile."

"It was more Ness teaching anyways-"

"Technicalities. Now go." Kaiser said as he pulled (Y/n) along while Ness simply smiled along.

The 2nd week started off with the club having their day off, so Kaiser and Ness decided to use the opportunity to bring (Y/n) to some famous places in Munich. It was a rather cold day and while she wanted to refuse at first, Ness kept on asking so she caved in, to which Kaiser was a little offended.

"Are you still mad I told you no?" (Y/n) wondered as they ate breakfast.

"I am more offended that you told me no, while not even 3 minutes later saying yes to Ness." Kaiser argued, sending a side glare to the magenta-eyed eyed boy.

"I think those are skill issues on your part." Ness said, earning a laughter from (Y/n).

"Also, Ness was less aggressive about it." The girl blushed as she sent a few glances at Ness, who was flattered by the attention. Kaiser cleared his throat and leaned against his chair.

"Lovely, you two make me want to throw up-"

"Anyways, I made us a plan where we can go. We are in luck that today is less of a crowded day..."

With narrowed eyes, Kaiser stared at Ness and (Y/n) as the boy started explaining everything to her. It was honestly annoying how she was looking at him and hanging onto every word of his.

'Meanwhile she is pretending like I don't exist or isn't taking me seriously. Do I have to act nice around her to get some attention?'

"What...are you doing exactly?" (Y/n) asked as she walked into the storage room to get the equipment for the day. Kaiser turned around as he held the big box, surprised that she was here now.

"Helping."

"Why?" (Y/n) wondered, never expecting the blonde to pick up a box for her.

"Because I want to help you while you are still here." Kaiser answered simply and the girl nodded her head. His voice was a lot softer, making his words sound a lot more genuine than usually.

"I...uh thank you." (Y/n) said timidly and looked at her feet, a sight that made Kaiser stop and stare at her for a moment.

"Nothing worth mentioning." He smiled and (Y/n) followed after him, still in shock from his genuine words.

"Today's practice has left me a mess. I can't wait to sleep." Ness muttered as he leaned against the wall of the stadium, both him and (Y/n) waiting for Kaiser to finish changing.

"Really? I didn't notice it on you. You seemed to enjoy yourself a lot." (Y/n) spoke up as the magenta-eyed boy nodded his head.

"I did, football and playing with Kaiser makes me happy... a lot. But the day was just too tiring. Thanks for being here and helping us, I think it would have been a lot harder otherwise." Ness said, genuinely happy the girl was here with them, with him.

'I really wish I was in Blue Lock sometimes.'

"It's really nothing, I like helping you guys." (Y/n) grinned.

"Say.... why did I catch your attention of all people?" Ness suddenly spoke up, his face turning as red as (Y/n)'s was.

"I like your charisma...and the way you play football, it really looks like a magical performance."

'Also your smile is adorable!' (Y/n) finished the last part in her head, not daring to sat it out loud.

"Oh... I didn't think my play was that special. But thank you." Ness said with a soft smile.

"(Y/n), did you put up all the equipment?" Noel asked as the girl looked up from some papers the man gave her.

"Yep! I asked the assistant coach for some help though. Also! I finished writing down the plan for next week and I made an analysis diagram of the past two weeks. Kaiser went up with his speed and Ness became a lot swifter with his dribbling."

Noel looked at the said items again as (Y/n) continued speaking, the out of the blue patted her head.

"H-huh?" She stopped and looked up to see the man smiling softly at her.

"Great job. I will bring these to my office. Thank you."

"No... problem..." (Y/n) watched Noel leave with a flustered expression as Kaiser approached her with a pout and put a towel over her head.

"Hey?!"

"A bird pooped on you! Let me wipe it off!' The blonde said.

'Damn you,Noel.' Kaiser thought, glaring at the back of the man's head.

It was the third week now and Noel was nervously on the phone, waiting for Ego to answer.

"Yes?" Came the man's bored voice from the other side.

"I will cut to the chase. How much money do you want for (Y/n) to transfer to us?"

"Nothing, she is coming back to Japan this week. You all have a manager already. We need (Y/n) back here."

"Please Ego, she does a way better job than our manager did while he was here. Understand me too." Noel groaned, already dreading the day the man comes back. He wasn't bad or lazy... he just lacked the enthusiasm for the sport.

"I understand, but I do not care. (Y/n) is coming back this week." With that the man ended the call and the Frenchman sighed.

"Maybe she will have a change of heart in a month or two."

"Here! These are for you two." (Y/n) said, handing Kaiser and Ness two boxes. Confused, the boys took the boxes and observed them, one was blue and the other one was a light purple shade.

"What are these?" Kaiser raised an eyebrow as Ness kept staring at his with a lost look.

"I made some chocolates for you two, as a gift for helping me out these past 3 weeks."

With a red face, Ness started saying it was nothing and how they did just a normal thing. Kaiser felt his own face heat up a little bit too and he cleared his throat.

"It was nothing..." The duo looked at Kaiser, surprised by his soft tone.

"But why are you ficing us these now?"

"Huh? I am leaving for Japan tomorrow morning, what other time can I give them to you?"

"Tomorrow morning?!"

"And you didn't tell us anything?!" Ness and Kaiser asked in shock as (Y/n) raised her eyebrow.

"I thought Noel-san told you two..."

The two stopped talking and thought over her words, remembering that the man did mention something related to (Y/n), but they zoned out right after he said her name.

"Well, let's spend the rest of the time we have left with you." Kaiser said bitterly, pulling (Y/n) by the sleeve of her jacket.

"Yeah, let's make the best of what we have left." Ness added putting his arm around her shoulders.

"Do you two have to be this close though?" (Y/n) asked with a flustered face.

"Yes!"

[justagalwhowrites]

Hello, i love your work omg!! I had a request for another Joel angst <3 I had an idea where reader decides to sell Joel's watch in the QZ and gifting him a new one (obv not knowing the meaning behind the watch) Joel gets angry and reader becomes heartbroken and decides to look for the watch and gets rly injured by gangs in the QZ and Joel gets worried/goes after her!

OMG Hi Bestie!

You sent me this forever ago but I'm in love with this ask and then went totally overboard and ANYWAY here's the angstiest ask I've ever had, I hope you love it as much as I love you!!

The Watch

You try to do something kind for Joel but things backfire in a way you never expected.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

CW: SMUT! Canon-typical violence. I did almost no proofing on this so... ya know. Basically no age-gap, reader is 3 years younger than Joel. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only

Length: 12.2k (LOOK I'M SORRY OK I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME EITHER.)

March, 2010

Sometimes, you weren’t sure you knew Joel Miller at all. 

It was a strange sensation, when you thought about it. You’d known him for almost three years now. You’d first met him and his brother, Tommy, when they moved in a few doors down from you in the Boston QZ. Both handsome, both around your age - Tommy a bit younger, Joel a bit older - both beat down by what the world had become. 

But the last thing seemed to apply to everyone in the QZ. Life now was hard. That’s just the way it worked now, as much as you wished that weren’t the case. 

You’d managed to land a relatively good job in the grand scheme of things. You were a chef before, you ran part of the kitchen at a ritzy banquet hall in the city. You were used to feeding a crowd and FEDRA definitely had a crowd to feed every day, what with guards and all. 

It wasn’t much like it was before. There was very little joy in it, the process reduced to the barest minimum: Feed people so they stay alive. But you liked trying to find ways to make the food good, different from day to day. You still took pride in your work, even as the overly long days threatened to wear you down. You still wanted to try to make people happy with your work. 

Which is how you ended up getting to know Joel and Tommy in the first place. You showed up at their door a few days after they moved in with a few plates of food in hand, still hot below the tin foil they were wrapped in. 

“Yeah?” Joel said, voice gruff. 

“Hi!” You said brightly, not taking his attitude personally. Everyone was gruff here. You were used to it. You introduced yourself before pressing on. “I hadn’t seen you both around the QZ before so I thought you might be new and want a little something while you’re settling in, maybe stretch those ration cards a bit further…” 

“What’s in it for you?” Joel cut you off, looking you up and down.

It was like he was finding every flaw you’d ever been afraid you had, his eyes raking over you fiercely. 

“Nothing,” you smiled, even though it felt forced. “Just wanted to do something nice!” 

“Bullshit.” 

“Joel, you scarin’ the neighbors?” Tommy asked, coming alongside his brother and opening the door wider. 

“Not at all,” you smiled, a little more genuinely this time. 

Tommy introduced himself and Joel, who just grunted at you. 

“I brought dinner,” you said, holding the plates out. “Just thought you might want a break after getting here is all.” 

“That is real sweet of you,” Tommy smiled, taking the plates. He lifted one to his nose and breathed deep. “Smells real good, too. You a cook or something?” 

“Or something,” you smiled. “I used to be a chef but now I just cook for FEDRA. This is better than that, though. Anyway, I hope you like it and welcome to Boston!” 

“Thank you,” Tommy smiled broader. “Hope to see you around!” 

You started coming back to see Tommy. He was kinder, he seemed like he was happy to see you. Which you appreciated. You didn’t have many people in the QZ, it was nice to have someone who felt like a friend who lived so close. 

You’d come by twice more and chatted with Tommy for a bit the next time you saw Joel at all. You knocked on their door with a loaf of bread in hand and Joel opened it, frowning at you. 

“He ain’t here,” he said before you had a chance to say anything. 

“Oh,” you tried not to look disappointed. It seemed like that would be rude. “Well, I made a few loaves of bread today. I thought you might want one!” 

You held it out, an offering. 

He took it. 

“Still not sure why you’re doin’ this,” he said, almost sneering. “You just never work? FEDRA jobs that kush?” 

“No,” you frowned. There was the familiar pinch of tears at the back of your throat. “No, I work 12 hours a day six days a week, I just… I like to share.” 

You turned to go before you started crying in front of him, like an idiot. You’d always been overly sensitive, too open-hearted your mom had always said. It didn’t serve you well in the apocalypse. 

“Wait,” he said. You stopped but didn’t turn around, tears starting to slip down your cheeks. “Shit, I… Look. I’m not trying to be an asshole, OK? Just… Haven’t exactly had many people be nice for the sake of bein’ nice in a while. Feels hard to believe. Would… would you want to come inside? Don’t exactly got much at the moment but there’s coffee. Could make us some.” 

You dried your eyes on the back of your wrists and hoped he didn’t notice. 

“Yeah,” you sniffed a little before turning around. “Yeah, OK. Coffee sounds good.” 

It was awkward at first. Joel was stiff, clearly not used to having someone else around who wasn’t his brother. It reminded you of when you’d adopted a dog from the shelter when you were in your 20s. You brought him home to your apartment and let him off the leash and it was like he didn’t know what to do. He could recognize that this was a home, that it had a kitchen and a living room and a couch. He just couldn’t find his place in it. An interloper. Something that needed a map to help navigate a new yet familiar land. 

“How are you liking Boston?” You asked after a few minutes of awkward silence. 

He shrugged. 

“Fine,” he said. “Still tryin’ to figure out if it’s better than out there or not.” 

You nodded slowly. 

“I’ve wondered that, too,” you said. “But I’ve never been out there. I’m just not sure it’s worth it to try and figure out the difference.” 

He was almost kind while you were there. Well, definitely kind by Joel standards, almost by anyone else’s. But you’d take what you could get. Especially since you imagined that would be the last time something like that would ever happen. 

You were wrong. 

When you made pasta a few days later - the sauce surprisingly good for something thrown together from leftovers from the guards’ mess hall - you brought plates a few doors down and Joel answered. He invited you in again, even as you tried to just leave the food and go. 

The conversation was unlike anything you’d ever really had before. It wasn’t small talk - Joel seemed to find that sort of conversation excruciating - but it wasn’t anything personal, either. It occupied an nebulous third arena, deep and intelligent - discussing things like depictions of the end of the world in fiction and what they’d gotten right and what you thought might becoming because of it - but without offering a glimpse into the core of the other person. 

You weren’t sure what to do with any of it. But you liked it. You liked Joel. 

It happened a few more times over the next several months, you ending up in an obscure conversation with Joel in his apartment every other week or so, until, one day, things went bad on your walk home from work. 

One of your cooks was too sick to work - which said a lot with FEDRA breathing down your necks - and you’d stayed late at the kitchen after, getting things reset for the next day.

It was raining and cold and miserable as you trudged home, looking forward to a hopefully hot shower and your bed, when someone stepped out of the shadows as you turned a corner. . 

“Well well,” the man said, making you jump. There was a knife in his hand. You swallowed. “Look what we have here. A FEDRA bitch.” 

You looked around quickly, about to take off back the way you came when there was something warm and large against your back. 

“Don’t even think about it,” the man’s voice was harsh. 

“I’m sorry,” you said, your hands shaking. “I’ll give you whatever you want, I have ration cards, you can have them…” 

You felt the man behind you laugh. 

“Hear that?” He said. “She thinks we want her ration cards.” 

He sneered the last words, taunting you. 

“I just…” you began but the man in front of you spoke now. 

“We’ll take the ration cards,” he said, stepping closer. “Take a lot else, too. FEDRA killed my sister. Seems only fair we take a few of their bitches in return.” 

“Please,” you said softly. “Please, they won’t care, I’m just a cook, they won’t even notice, I’m so sorry about your sister but I’m not…” 

The one behind you grabbed a fistful of your hair, yanking your head back, making you squeal. The other punched you across the face, making you cry out in shock as much as it was pain. 

“Then we’ll start with you,” he said. “And take a few others, too. We’ll just take and take and take until they have to pay attention. Won’t we?” 

“Yup,” the man at your back put his mouth next to your ear so you could feel his hot breath on your skin. “We could get creative with ‘er. Know you wanted to gut her but now I’m wondering if I could make her choke to death on my cock…” 

Your heart was racing, beating so hard against your ribs it felt like it should be bruising from the force of it. 

“Please,” you were crying. “Please, I haven’t done anything to hurt anyone, I just…” 

“You’re FEDRA,” the man in front of you said, curling his hand into a fist. “That’s plenty.” 

You flinched from the blow you knew was about to land, tried to remember what you could about throwing a punch, when a sharp voice broke through the night. 

“Hey!” 

You opened your eyes just enough to see Joel stalking up. 

“The fuck you think you’re doin’?” He demanded. The man at your back released your hair. Joel didn’t slow down. He just shoved the man in front of you back. “Think you can just fuck with whoever you want around here?” 

“You FEDRA now, too, Miller?” He snapped. “Fuckin’ kill you too, maybe make you suck my dick first, too…” 

Joel punched him, hard, across the face. So hard the man collapsed to the ground in one hit. The man at your back grabbed you and threw you to the ground and you landed in the mud as he lunged for Joel. He dodged the man easily, throwing a punch to the man’s torso before he grabbed a knife from his belt and thrust it into the man’s stomach. He gasped at it, his mouth agape in shock as Joel pulled the blade up through his gut to his ribs before shoving him to the ground. The man he’d punched first had managed to roll over, trying to get up. Joel held up the knife. 

“Try it, Pickett,” he said. “Fuckin’ dare you.” 

The man stayed down. Joel nodded, bending to wipe his knife on Pickett’s pants before putting it in the sheath at his belt. He pulled his leg back and kicked the man, hard, in the stomach, right where he’d stabbed the other one. 

“She’s under my protection,” Joel snapped. “Tell your fuckin’ friends. I catch any of you fuckin’ with her, I’ll kill every last one of you. Understand?” 

Pickett just groaned. Joel dropped to one knee next to the man and took his face in one hand, his fingers sinking harshly into the ruddy flesh of the man’s cheeks. 

“Asked you a goddamn question,” he snapped. “Expect an answer or you’re too useless to leave alive. She’s protected. Fuck with her, you die like your fuckin’ buddy. Understood?” 

“Understood,” the man managed. Joel freed his face and he slumped down into the mud as Joel straightened back up. 

“Good.” 

He left the man in the mud before kneeling next to you. 

“You alright baby doll?” He asked, his voice weirdly gentle. You sniffed and nodded. “Alright, let’s get you up, get you home and cleaned up….” 

He put his hands on you delicately. You realized suddenly that Joel had never touched you before. Even when you handed him food or he gave you a cup of tea or coffee, his fingers never even brushed your own. Now, his hands were fully on you, all overly large and delicate and warm, guiding you into sitting up and then standing. Once you were on your feet, one of those large hands gingerly took your chin and turned your face this way and that, so different parts of your skin caught the light. 

“Fucker got you good,” he said, shooting the man who was still alive in the puddle another glare. “C’mon. We’ll get you home, get you all cleaned up. You’ll be OK.” 

He tucked you below his arm, guiding you away from the carnage behind you. You turned to look at it, anyway, the still living man crawling through the mud and the rain to his dead friend. 

“Don’t,” Joel said, voice oddly gentle. He delicately tucked your head against him, making it so you couldn’t look back. “Don’t need to see that. They don’t fuckin’ deserve it.” 

“You killed him,” you said, hating how small and weak you sounded. “Joel, you killed that man, he’s…” 

“Barely counted as a fuckin’ man,” he muttered. “Got what he deserved. Don’t worry about it. C’mon, almost back…” 

You were strangely numb as you let Joel guide you back to your building. He led you up the stairs and to your apartment door, something that shouldn’t have surprised you - you only lived a few doors down from him and Tommy, after all - you just hadn’t thought he’d ever paid attention. 

“Gimme the key,” he said, his arm still around you. You obeyed, your hands still shaking as you got the key from your pocket and handed it over. He unlocked the door and flipped the lights on. You were glad you’d picked your apartment a bit the day before so it was at least neat and relatively clean - at least by QZ standards it was, anyway. 

Joel lowered you gently into a chair at your kitchen table and pulled up another one next to you. You frowned. 

“What are…” 

“Fuckers got a good hit on you,” he said, looking at your face in the light, frowning. “Should’ve just killed them both but that don’t work as well for sending a specific goddamn message….” 

It seemed like he was talking to himself, at least in part. You just watched him examine you, his face drawn, eyes tracing over your skin. 

“Go get cleaned up,” he said, sitting back from you. You frowned. “You’re covered in mud. Won’t do a damn bit of good to bandage you up now if you’re a mess.” 

“Right,” you said, looking down at your body. You’d almost forgotten that part of it. “Um…” 

“Be here when you’re done,” he said. “Get you patched up. Go shower.” 

You took a last look at him, acutely aware of the mud dripping onto your carpet, before you went to your bathroom, stripped down and climbed in the shower. You tried not to think about the fact that Joel Miller was just… sitting in your apartment. 

It didn’t make any sense. It was Joel. Why had he even bothered to stop? Why had he intervened at all? He seemed to think of you as little more than a nuisance but he saved you. Killed a man for you. Told another that you were under his protection, all but told him to let the whole of the QZ know it. And now he was just sitting at your kitchen table, waiting for you to get out of the shower so he could take care of you. 

You stayed under the mercifully warm water longer than you needed to trying to come up with an answer. The best thing you could come up with was that he felt like he owed you for all the food you’d brought over the last few months - though murder seemed like a high price for some bread and dinners. 

In your almost dazed state, you hadn’t thought to bring more clothes into the bathroom with you, a fact that occurred to you when you were still in the shower. You groaned. At least there was a robe in the bathroom so you wouldn’t need to dart across the hall to your bedroom while wrapped in nothing but a damn towel. 

But when you stepped out of the bathroom in a haze of steam and wrapped in a terrycloth robe that went almost to your ankles, Joel was standing at the mouth of the hall. He looked up at you and blinked twice, frozen where he stood. You froze, too. You weren’t entirely sure why, if maybe you felt like prey under his gaze, a rabbit hoping that stillness would keep the wolf from gutting you, or if the heat inside you made you want to be cracked open wide to the very center of you and consumed. 

“Better,” Joel said after a moment before jerking his head toward the kitchen table. “In here, where it’s light.” 

“But…” you tried to protest, overly aware of your own nakedness below your robe. 

“It’s fine,” he cut you off. “C’mere.” 

You kept your eyes on him as you obeyed, moving slow and cautious for the kitchen table, never turning your back to him. You still weren’t sure why. 

The seat you were in before had been cleaned, as had your floor, no sign of the splatters of mud. Instead, there was a small bottle of rubbing alcohol and cotton balls and gauze on your kitchen table. 

“Sit,” Joel ordered. You obeyed without hesitation. He took the seat close to you again, reaching to the leg of your chair and jerking you forward, the wood groaning as it scratched across the linoleum of your floor. He took your chin in his hands again and examined your skin, his face close to yours. You could smell him, the rain water on his skin, the remnants of laundry soap, the bite of something wild that you couldn’t place but seemed to blend with his rough beard and flannel shirt. “Not exactly a doctor but don’t think you need stitches. Just gotta keep you from getting infected. Unless you’d rather go to the damn clinic…” 

“No!” You said it quickly, probably too forcefully. You cleared your throat. “No, I… No clinic. I don’t want to cause any issues and I don’t want them to ask too many questions…” 

You didn’t want anything that would tie the dead body that was going cold in the rain a few blocks away to you or Joel. 

“Good,” Joel said. He dabbed the rubbing alcohol on your cut cheek, making you hiss in pain but you held still. His fingers were surprisingly gentle, even with the rough callus of them. “You’re doin’ good, baby doll. Almost done.” 

You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, his brows drawn together as he concentrated on you before picking up the gauze and taping it over the injured skin. 

He released your face when he finished and sat back in the chair. You crossed your arms over your stomach, watching him for a moment. You’d always known that Joel was handsome. That was a simple fact, anyone with working eyes could see it. But it had always been a somewhat neutral statement. He was handsome but he was also cold and gruff and seemed to barely tolerate you outside of the unusual conversations you had when you brought something by and Tommy was unexpectedly absent. Even then, you’d gotten the impression that he was humoring you for Tommy’s sake, not out of any kindness or affection toward you. He was handsome but you’d never had anything more than a passing attraction to the man because thinking about how he must look at you, see you, hurt. 

But it was like a switch had flipped since Joel had saved you. Like the only thing that had been keeping you from looking at him and wanting him had been the idea that he wouldn’t want you in return. Some kind of protective measure meant to save you from getting attached to something hopeless because, at the end of the world, what was the point of attachment without hope? 

“Thank you,” you said when you realized you’d been quiet for too long. 

Joel shrugged. 

“Anyone fucks with you again, tell me,” Joel said. “Idiots should know better now, but…” 

You nodded slowly. Joel watched you for a moment before getting up and going to your kitchen. He got a towel from a drawer and filled it with ice before coming back and moving his chair closer to yours and pressing it against your bandaged skin. Your fingers covered his, meaning to take the ice pack from him, but he left his hand there, cradling it to your face. Your eyes met his, all dark and deep and wounded and you swallowed, hard. 

“Why did you do that?” You asked, whispering more than fully talking. Like it was a secret you were asking at all. 

“Didn’t deserve what they were about to do to you,” he said. His eyes were still on yours. You were closer to him than you’d ever been before. Your hand slid from his down his arm to his elbow, fingers twisting in the fabric of his sleeve. You watched his jaw tense for a moment. “Didn’t… Couldn’t see you hurt.” 

You leaned into him. You couldn’t help it, drawn into his strength and warmth, the comfort of his safety and sudden kindness so overwhelming it was a force unto itself. It was almost a surprise when you kissed him, that his lips were on your own. 

The kiss was only soft and gentle for a moment. Just long enough for Joel to drop the ice pack to the floor, his hand gently holding your bandaged face, ensuring he kept your mouth at the right angle. His other hand went to your waist, grabbing you almost roughly, pulling you sharply onto his lap with a surprised squeak. You were straddling Joel and damn near naked doing it, the only thing between you his jeans and the robe that was caught between your thighs. 

You froze as his fingers tightened on you, his lips growing more insistent, the heat in you building and burning but you weren’t sure what to do with it all. 

But he wasn’t slowing down or pulling away. His kiss deepened and the hand that was at your waist moved to the small of your back, adjusting you so that your core was pressed tightly to his growing length in his jeans. You moaned into his mouth, involuntarily rocking your hips against his hardening cock. Your arms went around his neck and you pressed yourself closer to him, dipping your tongue into his mouth to taste him. Joel’s hips pressed up against yours and you could feel his bulge against you, the heat of him making your core tighten and ache. 

Joel’s hands left your face and your back, coming around to the knot on the front of your robe. He pulled his lips from yours and looked down at your body as he untied it. He looked you in the eye - a silent request for permission, it seemed - and you didn’t stop him as his hands slid inside the fabric and pushed it away from you. 

Your skin was still warm from the shower and the shock of the cool air against you made you shiver. Joel didn’t seem to notice. His hands moved almost reverently for your waist, then your breasts, his callused fingers running over your soft, smooth skin, cupping the heavy globes of flesh, running his thumbs over your pebbled nipples. 

“Fucking Christ,” he breathed before kissing you again, your tits still in his hands. You pulled him closer, tighter, not caring if you seemed like some kind of rabid whore as you ground your leaking slit down on his still clothed cock. 

His hands ranged over you as he all but devoured your mouth, grip getting harder, kiss getting more desperate before he separated from you once more, panting for breath, pupils blown. 

“Let me fuck you,” his chest was heaving. He didn’t say it like a question or even a plea. He said it like it was a foregone conclusion, that he was going to have you and this was a formality. 

You could only nod and he shoved your robe to the floor before taking you in his arms and carrying you to your couch. He ripped his shirt over his head and cast it aside before hurriedly stepping out of his boots and shoving his pants and underwear down and off, his cock full and hard, making your eyes go wide. It’s not like you were a virgin or anything, you’d been in your early 30s when the outbreak happened, you’d had your fair share of men. You’d just never seen a cock quite that thick. 

Joel looked down at you on the couch, one of his hands wrapping around his length and stroking it once, twice, before gathering the precome leaking from his head and spreading it over himself. 

“Joel,” you swallowed hard as he adjusted your legs and climbed between them. “I don’t think…” 

“It’ll fit, Baby Doll,” he was still breathless as he jerked himself. “I’ll make it fit. I’ll take care of you, don’t worry…” 

You nodded, not really sure you believed him, but the gnawing need inside you was overwhelming any resistance you felt as he lined his fat, almost purple head with your weeping hole. You sat up on your elbows, watching where he was going to enter you - or try to enter you, at least.  

“Already so wet,” he ran his head up and down your slit, gathering your slick. “Make you feel so good, fill you up so good, promise baby…” 

He pushed himself inside you then, a grimace on his face until his head almost popped into your tight channel, pulling a shocked gasp from you. He was hardly inside you but you could still feel the burning stretch of him. His thumb went to your clit and brushed it at first, making you shudder, before working you in tight, firm circles. He fucked just the tip of him in and out of you, keeping the pressure on your sensitive nub as he did. You rocked your hips against him, you couldn’t help it, your orgasm already closer than you’d expected it to be. 

“See?” He panted. “Told you I’d take care of you.” 

With that, he thrust into you the rest of the way, making your eyes go wide and a high pitched whine leave you. You couldn’t look away from where he was filling you, the stretch unlike anything you’d ever felt before. He was so big you could see the outline of him between your hips, a foreign swell where he’d made space inside you to fill. 

“Joel,” you whimpered below him. You could feel him twitch inside you, like he was inches away from orgasm already. “Fuck, I need a minute, you’re too big, I need…” 

“Fuck,” he groaned, tipping his head back, his hands finding your waist. But he was still inside you even though you could feel that he wanted to fuck you hard and fast. Your body adjusted, the almost painful strain of taking him fading to an overwhelming fullness that had you starting to rock your hips against him, desperate for more stimulation. “Fuckin’ Christ, gonna lose it with you doing that, Baby Doll, I need to fuck you, I gotta, won’t hurt you promise I won’t…” 

You nodded but you weren’t sure it even registered with him. His grip on your waist tightened and he pulled back from you - slow at first - before thrusting all the way back in, the force of it knocking the air out of you. You groaned as Joel started to fuck you, hard and fast and needy, his thick cock stretching you with every motion. 

“Knew you could take it,” he panted. “Told you I’d make it fit.” 

You just whimpered, one of your hands finding your clit, the other your breast, working yourself in both places as he pounded into you. Your channel grew tighter around him, your orgasm close. 

“There you go,” he kept up his almost brutal pace. “Fuck yeah, make yourself come on this cock, come all over my fuckin’ cock while I wreck this little pussy, do it, fucking come for me.” 

You couldn’t help it, you came so hard you cried out with it, your hands stilling as you pulsed over Joel and he fucked you through your orgasm. He never stopped, never even slowed. If anything, he slammed into you harder and faster and your overwrought pussy almost hurt with it. 

“Fuck, can I come in you?” He asked. “Please… fuck… please, gotta come in you, need to come in you, fuck Baby I’m coming, gonna fill you up, fuck!” 

He pressed himself deep and exploded inside you there before you had a chance to tell him either way, the hot ropes of his come coating your inner walls. He collapsed forward onto you, his head over your shoulder and pressed into the cushion of your couch as he caught his breath. You could feel him leaking out of your spent hole as he went soft inside you. You slowly, hesitantly put your arms around him, stroking his back for a moment. Part of you was unsure what, exactly, had just happened. If it meant anything at all. 

“Fuck,” he sat up from you and pulled his cock from your body. He was glistening with the blend of you and him together. He looked down at you, still a little breathless, as you were splayed out before him. You remembered, suddenly, what it was like to look down at a chicken you’d split while butchering, all hollowed out, its only remaining purpose - to be consumed - laid bare. “Fuck, I… I don’t…” 

You sat up on your elbows again and looked down between your legs. His come was leaking from you. You looked back up at him, acutely aware of your vulnerability but hiding anything from him felt wrong. 

“It’s OK,” you said quietly. 

“No,” he shook his head. “I… I’m sorry, I…” 

He stopped and got off the couch, getting his clothes from the floor. He pulled his underwear and jeans on quickly before retrieving your robe from beside your kitchen table. He lowered it gently onto your stomach. You stared at it for a moment before sitting up and sliding it on. You cinched the tie around your waist. 

“Are you…” he trailed off as he shrugged back into his shirt, his brown eyes ranging over you again and again. 

“I’m fine.” 

He nodded. 

“Right,” he said. “Right, OK…” 

He stepped into his boots, not bothering to adjust the laces. But then, he only lived a few doors down. 

Oh God, he only lived a few doors down. 

“I shouldn’t have done that,” he said quietly after he was fully clothed again. “I… I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize,” you said, getting up and crossing your arms over yourself, thankful that your robe was long and covered most of you. “I… I wanted it.”

“Right,” Joel nodded. “That… we can’t do that again, OK? It’s not smart. Probably best if we…” 

“Sure,” you just nodded again. “Yeah, OK.” 

“Good,” he said, going for your door. He stopped to look at you. “Take care of yourself. Let me know if you run into any more trouble.” 

“I will,” you nodded. “Thanks, Joel.” 

He gave you a nod and just left you there, his come dripping out of you and his bandage on your cheek. 

That was the first time you fucked Joel Miller. 

It wasn’t the last. 

You came by a few weeks later, almost positive that it would just be Tommy home but it was Joel who answered the door. 

Once you got through the awkwardness of the hellos and the handing off of biscuits, you tried to leave, even though your core was tight and achy being so close to Joel again. Like he’d imprinted himself inside you, the shadow of him still there as a reminder. But Joel wasn’t having it. He grabbed your shoulder and pulled you around to face him before pressing you back into the wall and all but shoving his tongue into your mouth. He fucked you right there, against the wall of his living room, and when your thoughts weren’t blinded by orgasms you were just praying that his brother didn’t come home and find the two of you like this. 

When it was over, he stepped back from you, his eyes wide as he panted for breath and said over and over that it couldn’t happen again. That it wasn’t smart, not when you were neighbors and you were all stuck here like this. That he didn’t want any kind of anything with anyone. That it was a waste of time. 

It took until about the fifth time for Joel to stop saying it couldn’t happen again. For him to just accept it. He showed up at your door most nights now. He had for more than a year now. You weren’t entirely sure what your relationship actually was. You slept better when Joel was wrapped around you, even when he jerked in his sleep as nightmares plagued him. If you had an utterly miserable day, he sometimes listened to you vent about it before he fucked you silly. He brought you things he thought you’d like when he made smuggling runs outside the QZ, like a magpie who sought out books and baking equipment. You made him dinner and cut his hair when it got too long and didn’t ask questions when you bandaged up his knuckles at the end of a long day. 

But Joel had never so much as told you that he liked you, let alone anything close to love. Even though you loved him. It had taken you some time to realize that you had. You’d become numb to a lot since the outbreak. Love was a risk, one that your subconscious mind seemed itching to keep you away from. Especially from someone as distant as Joel. You’d been fucking no one but him for more than a year now and you’d only learned within the last month that he was a contractor before the end of the world. 

You wanted to do something nice for him. Something that might let him start to love you. At least like you as something more than someone to fuck, anyway. And you had the perfect thing in mind. 

That day, Joel rolled you over in the early morning hours, kissing you deeply in the dark, enough to start to wake you up. 

“Have a good day,” your words were slurred and mushy in your sleep but he seemed to get the picture. 

“Think you’ll have an easier time of it, I’m on sewer duty,” he kissed you one more time, just a peck on the lips. “See you tonight.” 

“Mmmm.” 

You waited until you were sure Joel was gone for the day before you turned on the lamp beside your bed and found Joel’s watch on the nightstand. 

He never took the darn thing off except to sleep. He always wore it, every day. Except the days he was on sewer duty. He left it at home or at your place then, the face of it cracked and the mechanism so broken it didn’t work anymore. But he still wore it every damn day. He’d never told you why. 

You ran your thumb over the broken glass of the face for a moment before setting it back down and getting dressed in your kitchen uniform and pocketing the watch.

Your shift started in an hour and a half, giving you what you hoped was enough time to get the errand you’d been planning done. You had to venture most of the way across the QZ to do it, traveling to the black market shops where you knew a lot of what Joel smuggled in wound up. It was still early there, people setting out what was on offer, and you found the one person you knew of in the QZ who dealt in things like jewelry and watches. Even though he’d always struck you as slimy every time he’d talked to you when you’d walked by his stall when on the hunt for something else. 

“Hey there pretty lady,” he smirked. “Finally coming to see me?” 

“I was wondering if you could fix something for me,” you said, getting the watch out and handing it over. “It’s my… it belongs to my friend. The face has been broken forever and I don’t think it tells time anymore. Think it’s fixable?” 

He took it and frowned down at it, turning it over in his fingers. 

“Kind of a piece of shit to waste the energy on fixing it,” he said before looking back up at you. “Could find you something better, get you a deal…” 

“I’d rather get that one fixed if you can,” you smiled. “I don’t mind the price.” 

He nodded, looking back down at it.

“Well, it’s beat to shit,” he said. “But I’ll give it my best shot or find something good to replace it with, how about that? Even buy this piece of crap off you, I’m sure I can use it for parts. Give you a discount on the watch itself.” 

There was a twinge in your gut at that, the idea of maybe trading Joel’s watch away. It must have sentimental value if he wore the broken thing that much. Or maybe it was just force of habit? He didn’t have one that worked but felt naked without it? 

“Sure,” you smiled. “When do you think you’ll know?” 

“Tomorrow,” he said. “Come back, see me. I’ll let you know what I can figure out.” 

You walked to work excited to see Joel that night. You were sure he was going to like the watch thing. Maybe it could be the start to something new, something good. After so long of living in limbo with him, you sure hoped it was. 

***

Joel fucking hated sewer days. 

They paid the best but it was disgusting work. The only worse job, in his opinion, was burning infected bodies. At least the sewer didn’t have dead kids. 

Otherwise, it was worse.

He went by his apartment first to shower and get cleaned up before heading toward yours. 

Joel was reluctant to admit it even to himself - especially to himself - but he’d grown attached to you over the last few years. 

He’d never meant to fuck you. 

It had been an accident, the first time. Or, at least, as much of an accident as fucking someone could be. He’d always thought you were pretty. You were beautiful, truly. Beautiful enough that he couldn’t pretend that you weren’t. So he moved on from that fact. But you were also sweet and kind, nicer to him than he deserved. He tried to keep you at arm’s length but you’d somehow managed to insert yourself into his life in ways he hadn’t expected. He liked being around you, he liked to look at you, he liked to imagine what it would feel like to be inside you. Falling into fucking you had been easy, so damn easy.

It helped that you didn’t ask anything of him. That you put up with shit from him that he doubted you’d have tolerated in the before times. But you were lonely here, that much was clear, and Joel was someone. He took advantage of that fact, he knew. He knew he should be better for you. Try to be more. Try to be something at all. But he wasn’t sure he had it in him anymore, if it had ever existed for anyone but Sarah at all. It seemed like it would be cruel to both of you to try. 

So he didn’t. 

He was lucky that you seemed fine with that. Even if he really wasn’t. 

He beat you to your apartment. Not surprising, sewer shifts started early and ended early, and he let himself in to wait for you, going to get his watch off the nightstand first. 

Joel felt naked without it. Almost like he was betraying his daughter when he didn’t wear it, that he’d somehow decided the last thing she’d done for him wasn’t good enough anymore. But wearing it on sewer jobs was too big a risk. If it fell off there, he’d never find it again and he wasn’t sure he could live with himself if that happened. So he left it wherever he slept the night before - as likely to be your place as his anymore - and always put it back on the second he got cleaned up. 

But it wasn’t on your nightstand. He frowned, looking on the bed - you made it every day, like that shit still mattered - but it wasn’t there. He got down on his hands and knees and looked around the nightstand, below it, under the bed. He ripped the sheets off and shook them out, took the pillows out of their cases. His heart was pounding. It had to be here it had to. 

He went to the bathroom next, maybe he’d taken it off in there the night before even though he never had before but he searched there, too. He was taking all the cushions off your couch when he heard your key in the door. He kept searching as you came in, not even looking up at you. 

“Joel!” He heard you drop your keys and your bag and then your hands were on him, pulling him back from the couch and making him stand up straight. He was breathless. He had to find it, it had to be here. Fuck, what if he put it on this morning and it fell off on the job and he hasn’t noticed? What if it was gone? “What are you…” 

“My watch,” he said, looking around the room for where to search next. “I… my fucking watch, left it here this morning, almost positive I left it here but I can’t find it and I need that watch, Baby Doll, I gotta…” 

“Joel,” you smiled a little, putting your hands on his forearm. “It’s OK. You did leave it here but… well, it was supposed to be a surprise…” 

His stomach dropped.

“What did you do.” 

You took your hands back, smile fading at his tone. Your eyes went a little wide. 

“I noticed that it’s broken,” your voice was quiet. “And I thought it was something that might be fixable…”

“What the fuck did you do?!”

You shocked back from him. Joel had never so much as raised his voice to you before and he was screaming now. 

“I took it to a man across town,” you said quickly.  “He said he might be able to fix it or find a good replacement and…” 

“I don’t want it fucking fixed!” He screamed, pressing closer to you and you flinched back. “I want it the way it was! I want it the way it was when my daughter fucking died!” 

You stared at him for a second. He’d never told you about Sarah. He didn’t talk about her. It hurt too much to even consider it, he kept her to himself, her memory saved for quiet spaces where he could let it overwhelm him. 

“Your daughter?” You whispered, reaching for him. He stepped back from you, couldn’t handle your fucking hands on him, not now. “Joel, you never… I didn’t…” 

“She gave me that watch!” He wasn’t yelling now but there was a tremble in his voice, the barely contained rage slipping through. “She gave me that fucking watch and the day she died she got it fixed for me. It got fucked up by the bullets that killed her because I didn’t do my fucking job as her father, I didn’t protect her! That watch is all I have left of her and you…” He shook his head, his resolve cracking and yelling again. “You fucking gave it away! How could you be that fucking stupid? That fucking careless? What the fuck were you thinking!”

“I’m sorry,” you said softly. You were crying, voice shaky. “I… I didn’t know, I just wanted…” 

“You think I give a shit what you want?” He yelled, towering over you. “Think I give a shit about you? You’re just some stupid fucking girl I use when I need to get off and you…” 

You were cowering back from him and he knew he was scaring you but he couldn’t feel anything past the sharp pain of loss enough to care. 

“I’m sorry,” your voice was so quiet he could barely hear you. “Joel, please…” 

He glared at you with so much force it made you flinch and stalked out your front door, not bothering to close it behind him. 

Joel took the stairs down to the street two at a time and set off, walking quickly as night fell and rain started in a steady drizzle over him. He could think of a few places you’d probably try to take the watch. If he could find it in time… with all the fucking smuggling connections he has in this godforsaken town. He had to be able to find it. He had to. 

But he searched all night, went to every goddamn black market dealer he could think of. He was only able to find about half of them, some out who the fuck knows where, and none of them had the watch. 

It was daylight again when he returned home, soaking wet and exhausted. He glared at your door as he passed, going to his place to shower and try to warm up. 

But without the distraction of searching, the desperate drive to do something because he could, he was forced to feel while standing in the steam and the water. 

The pain of the loss of his daughter was there, sharp and acute when he realized he may never again touch something she had also held. The permanence of that somehow making her loss more real than it had been in years. It was gutting. He’d rather be shot or stabbed or have the shit beaten out of him than feel this. At least that was tangible, something he could heal from and not this constant, consuming pain. 

But there was also you. You, who had become the only bright spot in this goddamn place. You, who held him when he woke up in a panic and told him that he was safe and that it would be OK. You, just about the only thing that had made him smile in years and who looked at him like he was something worth wanting. Looked at him like there was still a point to him at all. 

You’d tried to do something nice for him. You hadn’t known any better, he knew that. He’d just never let you in. Never even told you Sarah existed let alone about the way that she died. How he’d held her, how Tommy had to drag him away from her body, how all he’d wanted to do was join her and he couldn’t even do that right. He’d never told you any of it. He couldn’t blame you for that, not when he was already afraid of how much he cared about you. He was even more terrified of what he knew he could feel for you if he just let himself. It wouldn’t even be hard. Not feeling it was like fighting against gravity. It would only take one slip and he’d fall into it, he knew that. 

He got out of the shower and sighed, trying not to think about the watch. About the things he’d said to you. He’d been so panicked, so angry. He had tried to hurt you. Said things he knew were cruel because if he was hurting he wanted you to hurt, too. 

But he wasn’t proud of that. He didn’t want you to hurt. He wanted to take care of you and protect you. You were kind and thoughtful and this fucking place hadn’t chewed you up and spit you out yet. He wanted to help you stay that way. Instead, he’d tried to hurt you. 

He sighed and got dressed before going to knock on your door. It was your day off, he expected you to be home. Probably reading or baking something. Because apparently cooking all day during the week wasn’t enough, you had to do it on your day off, too. 

“Hey!” Your next door neighbor came outside but her face fell when she saw Joel. “Oh, sorry. I thought you were…” 

“I’ll tell ‘er you’re looking for her,” Joel said, looking back at the door, waiting for you to answer. But he didn’t even hear you inside. He frowned. He had a key, it just felt wrong to use it after the way he’d spoken to you but maybe he’d need to…

“Thanks,” your neighbor smiled, a plate in her hand. “She’s always making things for my daughter, I finally had enough extra to return the favor but I haven’t seen her since she left last night and…” 

“Last night?” Joel’s frown deepened. “What do you mean, when last night?” 

“Kind of late,” she frowned back. “After dark, I was just coming back home when I ran into her. Seemed like she was in a big hurry, looked like she might have been upset. I told her I had something for her and she said she’d be back later. I don’t think I missed her but…” 

Joel’s heart sped up and he shoved his hand in his pocket, finding his keys. He tuned out the neighbor and had to fight to keep his hands from shaking as he opened your door. 

Your apartment was still torn apart from when Joel had been searching it, couch cushions still all over the floor, coffee table askew. He ignored it, half walking, half running to your bedroom. 

“What happened?” Your neighbor hovered in the doorway. Joel ignored her, too. He looked in your room, still in total disarray but empty, your uniform on the floor where it hadn’t been before. Your bathroom was empty. 

“Fuck!” Joel smacked the wall. You’d left, gone somewhere and not come back. But you’d planned to come back, you’d told your neighbor that you were going to be back later and you hadn’t come home. He went to the woman in the doorway, her eyes still a bit wide as she took in the mess he’d made of your apartment. He took her by the shoulders and she blinked up at him in surprise. “Where was she going? Did she say? Tell you anything at all?” 

“N-no,” she stammered, frozen in Joel’s grip. “She didn’t, I’m sorry, I don’t…” 

Joel released her, running his fingers through his hair for a moment. Had you gone to try to get the watch back? He’d been so upset, so cruel… You must have. It seemed like something you would do, immediately go to try to fix it. He turned back to the woman, cursing the fact that he didn’t know this about you, that he had kept his distance from you so he wouldn’t know things about you and fall into you in the way that was so tempting to do. 

“Know what markets she goes to?” He asked. “Especially for any contraband shit?” She just blinked at him for a moment and he resisted the urge to yell at her. That’s what got him into this situation, losing his fucking temper at someone who didn’t deserve it. He took a deep breath, keeping his voice calm. “I think she went to look for something but I need to know where that would be so I can go find her. Do you know?” 

“Yeah,” she nodded after a moment. “Yeah, there’s one across town, in the south end. I’ve run into her there before…” 

Joel was out the door before she finished talking. It was one of the places he’d gone the night before but hadn’t found anyone to talk to. He certainly hadn’t seen you there. But it was at least a starting point. He’d find you. He had to. 

***

You stared at your open door for a few minutes after Joel left, in too much shock to move. 

Joel had a daughter. A daughter who died. The watch had been from her, of course he wouldn’t want it fixed, of course he would wear it every day. And you’d given it to some slimy guy in the contraband market. 

After a while, you could make yourself move. You closed your door and went to your room. Joel had turned that upside down, too. Of course he had. Because he was desperate and you’d made him that way. 

You got changed quickly, leaving your uniform in a pile on the floor, grabbed a handful of ration cards in case you needed to buy the watch back, and headed out. 

“Oh, hey!” Clara, your next door neighbor, almost ran into you on the stairs, her two-year-old on her hip. “I was just going to pop over, I made…” 

“That’s so sweet,” you cut her off. “But I’ve gotta run, I’m so sorry. I’ll be back later and should be around tomorrow…” 

“OK!” She called after you as you took off. “Be careful out there!” 

You moved as quickly as you could manage toward the market, hoping that you could find the man, that he hadn’t started doing anything to the watch, that everything would be OK. Even if Joel hated you now, he shouldn’t lose the one thing he still had from his daughter because you hadn’t thought to ask him about the damn watch. 

You breathed a sigh of relief when the man was still there, closing up shop, when you ran up. 

“Why hello again,” he smiled, a smile that was smug and lecherous. “Haven’t been home to check my stash for parts yet, pretty girl, but if you wanted to come back with me I bet I could find a way to give you an even bigger discount…” 

“That’s OK,” you said, a little breathless. “I actually just want the watch back, just the way it is…” 

He frowned. 

“It’s still pretty useless…” 

“That’s OK!” You said quickly. “Just… please. Please say you still have it.” 

He sighed and opened a box, rifling around in it for a moment before pulling it out. But he held onto it, running his thumb over the face of it. 

“I was expecting something for fixing this,” he said, glancing up at you before looking down at the watch. “Had plans for those cards…” 

You pulled a few ration cards from your pocket and held them out. 

“Please,” you said. Even though he hadn’t done any work. You didn’t care. “The cards are yours, just give me the watch.” 

He looked almost surprised that getting cards out of you had worked but he took them and gave you the watch. You looked at it for a moment, the broken glass in the face, the time frozen  at 2:15. You tucked it in your pocket, the fist that had been clenched around your heart loosening. 

“Thank you,” you smiled. “Just… Thank you.” 

You started at a more reasonable pace back for your apartment. You’d go to Joel’s, return the watch, apologize again and hope that he wouldn’t still hate you once you fixed it. At least you hoped he wouldn’t be hurting as much, he didn’t deserve that, not after everything he’d been through. You could fix that for him, at least. You had to. 

You were so relieved at getting the watch back that you weren’t paying close attention to your walk home. Yes, it was dark and raining and late but you knew the way and, since that day more than two years ago when Joel had saved you, everyone seemed to know you were protected. That you weren’t someone they messed with and expected to live. In hindsight, it made you feel like the QZ was safer than it was. So safe that you were fine walking home alone from a shady corner of town, far from FEDRA guard posts and people you knew. 

It was a stupid mistake. You realized that when you heard a voice in the dark. 

“Well well.” 

The sound sent a chill down your spine. You recognized that voice, the voice of the man who had tried to kill you once. 

You froze, eyes wide, an animal caught in a trap. 

“If it isn’t Joel Miller’s little FEDRA bitch,” Pickett emerged from the shadows, his hands in his pockets, a few men at his side. Your eyes darted between them. There were six of them that you could see. There was no way you could fight off that many. Hell, you probably couldn’t even fight off one. You’d never been a fighter. “Awful far from home aren’t ya?” 

“Heading there now,” you said, voice shaky. “Joel’s expecting me…” 

“Well that’s too bad, isn’t it?” He prowled closer. “Guess you’ll have to keep him waiting just a bit longer.” 

“You don’t want to do that,” you finally were able to make your legs move, backing away from him. “You know what he said…” 

“But he isn’t here, is he?” He smirked. “And he’s the one who left his little toy out for just anyone to take. If you mattered all that much to him, don’t think you’d be out here all alone at this time of night.” 

Your eyes darted, looking for the best way to run, but your mind was distracted. The man was right. You didn’t matter to Joel, he’d told you as much, that you were just some stupid girl he used when he needed it. You were just some stupid girl and you were going to wind up dead in the shitty part of the QZ and he’d never get the watch back, the one thing he had left of his daughter, because you’d been too stupid to ask about it. For some reason, that part hurt more than the thought of dying. There wasn’t much to life in the QZ, certainly not much that made life worth living. Joel had become the one thing you looked forward to. It was hard to mourn your own destruction when there wasn’t anything left that was really worth living for. 

You tried to run, slipping in the mud as you went. But you were turned around, too panicked to look at street signs or pay close enough attention and, when you wound up at a dead end, you were cornered, the men closing in on you as you backed into a wall. 

“Please,” you whispered. “It won’t make a difference to him or to FEDRA, if you want to hurt them, I’m not the way to do it and…” 

“Maybe not,” Pickett smiled in a way that was more like the bearing of teeth than an actual smile. “But you sure will be fun.” 

Your eyes were so glued to his that you didn’t even see it coming when the first blow sent you to the ground. 

***

Joel made it to the market in record time, out of breath and bones reminding him that he was in his 40s now and he’d spent his life breaking his body to survive. He scanned the stalls quickly, finding the man who was the most likely one you’d have gone to, watches and jewelry out on a table in front of him. As if anyone could afford that shit now anyway. 

“How can I help you?” The man asked, smiling up at Joel from his seat behind the table. “Looking for something special for a lady friend, perhaps?” 

“Looking for my…” he paused. Technically, you weren’t anything to him. “My friend. She would have come here yesterday with a watch…” 

“Oh,” he laughed. “Yeah, I know her. Such a pretty thing, a little disappointed she only decided to give me the time of day when she needed something…” 

“She was here?” Joel asked, brows raised. 

The man smirked. 

“Answers are gonna cost you.” 

Joel ground his teeth for a second before shooting his arm forward and roughly grabbing the back of the man’s neck, shoving his head down and slamming it into the table, the man giving a yelp of pain when his nose crushed against the wood. 

“Fuck!” He swore as Joel pressed his face against the table. He squirmed but Joel held him down. “Jesus Christ, man!” 

“Was. She. Here.” Joel’s teeth were clenched, his chest heaving. 

“She was here!” The man cried out and Joel released his neck. He panted for breath for a moment and sat up cautiously, cradling the back of his neck. “She was here, last night, she came by, wanted the watch back, she seemed desperate.” 

“Where’d she go from here?” Joel demanded. 

“What?” 

“Where!” Joel screamed, hand curling into a fist, ready to beat the answer out of him. 

“Back the way she came!” He covered his head with his arms. “Same place you came from what I could see, please!” 

Joel stepped back. 

“When was it?” 

“Late!” The man said quickly. “Late, she came by late. Right at the end of the day, I was closing up shop, it was dark and raining…” 

So you’d made it this far. You just hadn’t made it back home. 

“Anyone who runs around here who would give her trouble?” Joel asked. “Keep her from comin’ home?” 

“Plenty of people,” the man looked at him like he was insane. Joel glowered at him again and he flinched. “But most likely, Pickett’s gang, saw a few of them last night prowling around, they’ve been causing trouble around here lately. If she ran into trouble, it’s probably with them!” 

Joel nodded slowly. Pickett. He knew him. That was the man he’d saved you from before, the jackass had been building up a following of FEDRA hating idiots who seemed bent on causing trouble and hurting people as a way to feel strong by being cruel. 

He knew where to find them. 

Joel ran there, a crumbling building FEDRA hadn’t done anything with yet that he and Tommy had run drugs to a few times. He pulled the knife he kept at his belt free before he pushed the door open. Whether you were here or not, these were men he wouldn’t care about killing. 

The first one was just inside the door. Probably meant to be standing guard but not paying attention, flipping through an old Playboy instead. Joel caught him off guard. He wrapped his hand around the handle of the knife and used it to bolster his punch, the blow landing so hard the man fell backwards off his stool. Joel kicked his gun away and kneeled on the man’s chest, putting the blade to his throat. 

“Your boss bring a woman here last night?” Joel asked. 

“Not your business, is it?” The man sneered. Joel ground his teeth, covering the man’s mouth to muffle his screams before taking the knife in his hand and thrusting it into the man’s shoulder. Joel waited until he quieted some, gasping below his palm, before he spoke again. 

“Scream and I’ll gut you like a fuckin’ fish,” Joel snarled. “Now I’m just about done askin’ nicely. Did your boss bring a woman here last night?” 

“Yes!” He said, pleading. “He did, she’s still here, I think she’s still alive, they’re on the second floor, please…” 

Joel freed the knife and thrust it into the man’s throat. He didn’t need him anymore. He picked up the gun. 

It was easy, finding you then. He shot men as they approached, only half a dozen or so between him and you. But none of them were Pickett. 

He found the room he was sure you were in, two men stationed at the door who fired at him when he came around the corner. He ducked out of sight, readied his stolen weapon and exposed himself just enough to shoot. He dropped them both before they could land a shot on him. He took their ammo and changed his clip before listening at the door for a moment. It was quiet. 

Joel opened the door slowly, cautiously, but he didn’t need to. You were the only one inside, on the ground in an unnatural looking position. He holstered the gun and ran to you, kneeling beside your prone form. There was a rattle in your breath and you’d been beaten to hell. Even in the dim light, he could see the cuts on your skin, the parts of you he could see swollen and discolored. They’d savaged you, your body broken and bleeding, and you’d only been out here because of him. Because he’d been so angry at you for something that wasn’t your fault. Fuck, you were the only thing left he cared about besides Tommy and you were bleeding because of him. If you died because of him, if he’d failed you the way he’d failed Sarah…

“Please,” you rasped, trying to lift your head but giving up, your eyes closed. Your voice surprised Joel, he hadn’t expected you to be conscious. “Please… I don’t…” 

“It’s OK Baby Doll,” Joel said, his voice thick. “It’s me, you’re OK now. Gonna take real good care of you, you’re alright…” 

“Joel?” You lifted your head and managed to open one eye. The other was swollen shut. “Joel, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” 

Before he had a chance to stop you from moving, you reached a shaky hand into the pocket of your jeans and pulled out the watch. You held it out to him, your fingers bloody. 

“I don’t think it’s any more broken,” you winced. “I tried to protect it, I’m sorry…” 

He took it from you, your blood on the face and the band, a tightness in his throat he was struggling to breathe around. 

“S’OK Baby Doll,” he said, putting it on his wrist quickly and reached for your head, to try to brush some bloody hair back from your skin, but you flinched away from him. “Nothin’ to be sorry for, it’s not your fault, none of this is your fault.” 

You took a deep, shaky breath like you were going to argue with him, but you didn’t get the chance. 

“Look who it is.” 

Joel stiffened, getting to his feet slowly, turning to face him. 

“Almost expected you to not show up,” Pickett smiled. “She seemed damn sure she didn’t mean anything to ya, swore up and down that you wouldn’t even notice she was gone.” Joel’s stomach twisted. “Took you so long I was starting to believe her.” 

Pickett prowled closer. 

“Course I’d hoped she’d be enough to draw you out,” he said. “Getting tired of tip-toeing around you and your fuckin’ brother. But if she wasn’t, at least she was fun. Didn’t even get a chance to let my guys have the real fun with her yet, though. Figured I’d see if we could knock her teeth out first, bet she’d suck real good then. But looks like you took care of them, so I guess she’s off the hook.” 

Joel roared and lunged for Pickett, swinging for him as he did. The other man had either underestimated Joel or overestimated himself, because he tried to dodge him and failed, Joel’s shoulder catching him in the chest and sending him sprawling to the ground. Before he had a chance to even get his bearings, Joel was on top of him, screaming as he pummeled him, raining the blows down on his face again and again and again. 

For the first time since you’d disappeared, Joel felt like he was really doing something. This man had taken you, hurt you, was going to do more to you. Joel was doing what he was supposed to do. He was protecting you. He felt it in every blow he landed on the man’s face, in every collapsing structure below his skin, in every splash of blood. It wasn’t until he had stopped breathing and the blood had stopped pouring from his open wounds that he stilled, panting for breath as he looked at the mangled face of the man below him. 

He stood, flexing his hand and looking at it, the split open knuckles, the mix of your blood and his own and Pickett’s on the watch. He wiped his hand on his shirt and went back to you, kneeling again. 

“Joel,” you whimpered. 

“He’s dead,” Joel said, his voice thick. “They’re all dead. Warned ‘em. Told ‘em what would happen if they fucked with you.” 

He watched you work to swallow around your damaged throat as you nodded. 

“You’re safe now,” he said softly, fingertips gently tracing your face where you didn’t look battered. You flinched at first but relaxed. “Need to wait a bit to take you home. Too bright outside right now, FEDRA fucks would stop us…” 

“Don’t need to worry about me,” you struggled to sit up for a moment before giving up and going limp on the floor. “It’s OK. Already did more than you should have. Go home in case FEDRA comes poking around and…” 

“Not leaving you here,” he said gruffly. 

You winced as you swallowed and fought to open the one eye you could. 

“Don’t put yourself at risk for me,” you managed. “I’m not worth it, you know that and…” 

“You’re worth it, Baby Doll,” he said softly, his hand on your face. “About the only thing in this fuckin’ place that is.”

You flinched as you frowned. 

“No,” you shook your head a little. “No, you said…” 

“Don’t matter what I said,” he cut you off, trying to ignore the stabbing guilt in his chest. Fuck, the things he’d said to you. “I didn’t mean it, didn’t mean a fuckin’ word of it. I was pissed at myself, I was hurting, I took it out on you and I never should have said or done any of it, Baby Doll, never. I didn’t mean it, not a word of it and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I wish I could take it back, I wish I could take all of it back…” 

He lay beside you, delicately holding your face, his eyes tracing over you. He memorized the damage done, the signs of all the pain he knew you were in. All because he hadn’t told you about Sarah, because he’d hurt you, because he’d failed you. He wouldn’t do that again. He was not going to let you suffer because of him again. You tried to move closer to him but he put his hand on your hip and held you still, instead moving toward you. You winced as you pressed against him but it didn’t stop you. He held you gently, feeling you breathe against him. 

“I’m sorry, Joel,” your voice was muffled. “I didn’t mean to, I promise…” 

“Shh,” he hushed you, tears stinging his eyes. He’d done this to you. Made you feel like, even this broken, it was your fault. “It’s not your fault. None of it. I’ve got you, Baby Doll. Gonna take care of you. Gonna take such good care of you if you let me. Please let me.” 

You were quiet, passing out against him. He held you like that, letting himself feel for you, letting himself fall into that dangerous place with you. He stopped fighting the gravity of loving you until it was dark enough to safely carry you home.

He got you cleaned up, patching you up as best he could before giving you some pain meds from a stash he hadn’t traded away yet and carrying you to bed. He held you there, too, his body curved around yours, shielding you from anything that could hurt you and promised himself, silently, that he’d never see you like this again. Because he was going to take care of you. He was going to protect you, he was going to love you, until there was nothing else left of him and he was dead and gone. 

He ran a gentle hand over your head and pressed a kiss to your hair, the glass of the watch reflecting the light of the moon, sending fractured splotches of light on your wall. He wasn’t going to fail again. That much, Joel knew. 

[whyse7vn]

I’M SORRY -

[ ot7 x reader ]

JUNGKOOK -

jk: i’m sorry

jk: didn’t mean to make you upset :(

i hope i die

i should get jumped

barely survive

be on life support until i’m 50

and when i wake up die from the most painful heart attack recorded

i hope no one attends my funeral and i’m publicly and privately made fun of even after i’ve passed

hope my parents are ashamed and i hope that whenever the name jungkook is said people feel sick to their stomachs

i’m gonna throw up

gonna choke myself to death

i have the tightest grip on my throat rn

i’m going red

it’s fading to black

i’m sorry i wasn’t being a good boyfriend

tell bam that his dad was an asshole who didn’t deserve any rights

don’t even let him remember me as his father

i don’t deserve that title

i don’t deserve anything

not after what i did

burn all my clothes

delete all my pictures

tear my face off all posters

cross my name off all paperwork

i am not worthy of anything

y/n: shut up

jk: i’m sorry

y/n: i can tell

jk: i didn’t mean it

y/n: i forgive you

jk: really?

y/n: yeah

jk: do you really or are joking?

if ur joking it’s not a funny joke

y/n: you can come back home now

jk: really 🥺?

y/n: don’t ever use that emoji again

jk: sorry

i’m coming

omw

i love you

this is so great

y/n: you’re so dramatic

jk: i’m sorry

y/n: stop apologising

jk: sorry

i mean

ok

love u

y/n: hurry up

jk: 🏃‍♂️

SEOKJIN -

jin: can you talk to me now

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

i’m going to kms and it gonna be all your fault if you don’t reply to me

y/n: record it

jin: hey loml 😘😘❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗

WAIT WTF

THATS SO SICK?/?:£:££.&.&.&&.

y/n: what do you want?

jin: i love you ❤️💓🩷

y/n: bye

jin: WAITTTT :(((((((((((((((

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

y/n: what

jin: i’m outside 🤭🤗❤️

y/n: stay outside

jin: am i a dog?????

DON’T ANSWER THAT

anyways

i’ve come to see you princess 😘❤️‍🔥

y/n: gross

go home

jin: i am home 🥺

y/n: ur at MY home

jin: tu casa es mi casa 😚

y/n: that is not how that phrase goes

jin: let me inside pookie it’s cold 😍

y/n: you should have a key if it’s ur house

jin: LET ME IN IM TRYING SOSOSOSO HARD

FUCK YOU

ITS COLD

MY HAIR IS WET

IM DISTRESSED

LET ME INNNNNNNN

y/n: it took you 3 minutes

to be an asshole again

jin: :((((

i really tried that time

i can’t help it

this is real this is me

i was born this way

you can’t change me

ur the asshole if we think about it why are you trying to change people?? let the world know you LOSER

y/n: fyi you can stay outside

jin: PLS NOOOO PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS

y/n: “pls” doesn’t really sound like sorry to me…

jin: I SAID IM SORRY

I DIDN’T MEAN TO SHOUTT

IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRYYYYYYYYYYY

i love you

this is kinda sadistic if you think about it

didn’t know you was a freak like that bae

it’s okay i kinda like it

how about you let me in now

or do you want me to beg more???

pls oh plsssss let me in 🥺

i’ll never be mean again i promise 😇

pls 😚

hello??

babe??????

fr this isn’t funny

hello

HELLO

OPEN THE DOOR PLS

HELLLOOOO

OMH

HELLLLO

pls

i’m fr sorry

i mean it like genuinely

hello

…

okay let’s stop now

…………..

HELLLLO

fuck you

HOSEOK -

hobi: this fighting stuff kinda boring now

….

hello

i’m sorry

BOOOO

:(((

y/n: you can’t just walk out the house mid argument

hobi: in my defence u were being mean

y/n: so were you???

hobi: ??

y/n: be honest are you fr gonna just leave like that when things get hard?

hobi: i mean i might

y/n: …

hobi: things were pretty hard

y/n: AS MAN OF THE HOUSE YOU SHOULD OF GOT RID OF THE SPIDER

hobi: AS A FEMINIST I LEFT YOU TO TAKE CARE OF IT TO HELP YOU FEEL EMPOWERED

y/n: fuck you don’t come home

hobi: i would never lie to u bae 🙏🏼

and i would never suppress a moment for a woman to feel empowered

y/n: don’t actually fucking speak to me

hobi: ily

cheer up baby cheer up baby

y/n: picked the wrong member

jungkook would of helped me

hobi: omg????????

are you fr?

y/n: would never lie to you bae 🙏🏽

hobi: ….

JIMIN -

jimin:

y/n: ???

jimin: are you still mad at me?

y/n: yes jimin wtf

jimin: do you want to have sex?

y/n: yes jimin wtf

jimin: love you

y/n: whatever

jimin: say it back

y/n: i won’t

jimin: you will

y/n: definitely will not

jimin: i’ll sing for you

y/n: no thanks

jimin: no thanks?

y/n: no thanks.

jimin: you say that like i’m bad at singing

y/n: eh

jimin: eh?

y/n: eh.

jimin: i won’t have sex with you

y/n: aw man

jimin: don’t sound too sad

y/n: ok

jimin: you should be

y/n: i’m not

jimin: i go crazy in bed yk?

y/n: that is the ugliest thing you have ever said to me

jimin: if ur not in love with me just say that

y/n: i won’t

jimin: so ur IN love with me is what i’m hearing

y/n: ur not hearing anything cuz we are messaging rn

jimin: can you just tell me you love me like a normal person?

y/n: you don’t deserve it

jimin: okay maybe that’s true

but you should do it just once

pretty pls with a cherry on top 🥺

y/n: i’ll punch you

jimin: maybe i’ll enjoy it

y/n: nasty

jimin: kiss me

y/n: where are you?

jimin: ur really gonna kiss me?

y/n: ur talking long to tell me where you are so ig i’m not

jimin: joon’s studio

y/n: maybe i’m omw

jimin: ur so in love with me it’s kinda gross 🤭

YOONGI -

yoongi: :3

y/n: die tbh

yoongi: :3

y/n: your stupid faces mean nothing to me

yoongi: :3

y/n: …

yoongi: :33333

y/n: i hate you

yoongi: :Ɛ

y/n: ew wtf how did you do that

yoongi: Ɛ:

y/n: stop omg

yoongi: i’m sorry :3

y/n: cool

yoongi: i’m fr :3

y/n: idc :3

yoongi: you used the face :3

ur not mad :3

y/n: ur logic is wrong

yoongi: bring the face back :3

and it’s not logic it’s common sense :3

y/n: ur wrong

yoongi: never been wrong a day in my life :3

y/n: that’s crazy

so when you shouted at me for no reason you weren’t in the wrong?

good to know

yoongi: okay i never said that :3

y/n: but you did

yoongi: ur being annoying :3

y/n: fuck you

DID YOU JUST SEND ME 10K?????????

yoongi: did i? :3

y/n: you can’t just buy my forgiveness

yoongi: i can’t? :3

y/n: this is not how relationships work yoongi

yoongi: this is how our relationship works :3

y/n: no it’s not

STOP SENDING ME MONEY OMG?:£:£:’

yoongi: :3

y/n: you are still not forgiven leave me alone

yoongi: unforgiven i’m a villain :3

y/n: SEND ANOTHER 10k AND UR GETTING BLOCKED

yoongi: ur making me real upset rn :3

y/n: go back to work

yoongi: stop being mad at me :3

y/n: die

yoongi: don’t say that i’m about to get on a plane :3

y/n: now i feel bad

yoongi: say sorry :3

y/n: nvm

yoongi: :(

look you’ve made me change faces hope you feel bad :(

y/n: i don’t

yoongi: ur sick and twisted :(

y/n: cry about it

yoongi: really hope i survive this plane ride :(

y/n: i will not be guilt tripped by you

yoongi: you told me to die knowing i was getting on a plane :(

y/n: bye

yoongi: what if i had a deep deep fear of flying and u made that fear 10x worse rn :(

y/n: you don’t

yoongi: you don’t know a thing :(

y/n: fuck you

yoongi: do you really want ur last words to me be fuck you :(

y/n: fly safe

TAEHYUNG -

y/n: no

tae: hiiiiiiii

wtf how did you know

y/n: blocked

tae: NONONONONONO

y/n: you have one minute

go

tae: i am walking alone rn

y/n: ???

tae: on the street

y/n: ok?

tae: alone

y/n: you said that

tae: ALONE

ALL ALONE

y/n: right

tae: it’s not right actually

ITS VERY FAR FROM RIGHT

i’m ALONE

do you know what could happen to me rn?

i could literally be snatched up off the street by anyone

y/n: hopefully it’s a rehabilitation centre 🙏🏽

tae: WHAG IS UR PROBLEM

IM ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE

ME

KIM TAEHYUNG ALONE ON THE STREET

WHAT ARE YOU NOT GETTING HERE?

y/n: ur one minute is up

tae: no it’s not

can you pls care for me rn i’m stressed out

y/n: it was pretty stressful when you stood me up yesterday

but i powered through 💪🏽

i’m sure you can do the same!!!

tae: that never happened

pls let’s pretend that never happened

i’m the perfect boyfriend i swear

y/n: get lost

like actually

never come back

tae: 😢

you don’t even mean that

y/n: are you sure?

tae: IM SORRY PLS PLSPLSSSSSS

forgive me

y/n: no

tae: you can have my card

y/n: don’t want it

tae: take my house

i’ll give you my keys rn

y/n: i have ur keys

tae: you do?

you thief omg

give them back

y/n: you left them here???

after YOU stormed out my house after you made ME upset

tae: oh yeah

i’m coming back now

y/n: asshole

tae: let’s put this behind us and move on

that’s a great idea i say

y/n: you are single

tae: don’t say that

y/n: said it

tae: we are actually engaged and expecting our 10th child

y/n: you are single

tae: top 10 singles

made a few of those in my time

LOL

i’m funny right

say i’m funny

y/n: it’s painful talking to you

tae: painfully in love with me are you?

y/n: it’s like i’m taking to a brick wall

you have like selective hearing

tae: what i’m hearing is you want to kiss me on the lips?

y/n: call an ambulance

tae: feeling so much love for me ur throwing up?

???

hello

oh

ok

maybe i do deserve this

NAMJOON -

y/n: would you now like to explain why the hell you sent halsey flowers on MY birthday??

namjoon: it wasn’t just on ur birthday i’ve been sending them all week for like a month now

y/n: namjoon what the fuck??

namjoon: i’m confused

y/n: UR confused????

do you like her or something?

namjoon: ofc i like her!

y/n: so ur cheating?

namjoon: what

y/n: ur cheating on me and you have no shame???

what the actual fuck is wrong with you??

namjoon: i’m not cheating?

y/n: for a month now you’ve been sending another girl that you like flowers

EVERY WEEK???

namjoon: every friday

y/n: fuck you

namjoon: i’m confused how that’s cheating when you told me to do that?

y/n: WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID “OH NAMJOON SEND OTHER BITCHES FLOWERS”

namjoon: you literally said you loved how halsey’s bf gave her flowers every week and that you wished i did that?

y/n: ….

there is no way

….

namjoon

oh my god

kim fucking namjoon

LMAOOSO ARE YOU FR?

namjoon: what??? i’m so confused pls tell me what i did wrong

i would never cheat on you

ur freaking me out

y/n: think about it

why would i wish you sent halsey flowers?

think

like really think

namjoon: IDK i was confused as hell but you seemed like you really wanted me to

so i did

y/n: i meant i wanted you to buy ME flowers you idiot omg

namjoon: oh

that makes a lot more sense

y/n: yeah

you are the dumbest smart man i’ve ever met

namjoon: my fault

i get confused sometimes 😞

y/n: i love you

namjoon: i love you too

ur not mad anymore?

y/n: could never be mad at you silly

[ad7red]

can u do jack champion headcanons (or drabble) w/ a gf who gets elevator anxiety? literally everytime i have to use one i get so anxious it’s terrible😭

omg. i thought it was just me who did this LMAO i can’t get on a elavator without freaking out 😭😭

pairing: jack champion x fem!reader

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Jack and you were just about ready to leave the hotel room and head toward his Avatar premiere. However, there was an issue that he wasn’t aware of. You can’t take elevators.

Well, technically you could take an elevator, but the worry just eats you up from the inside out. Imagine all the possibilities of what could happen there! It could stop, you could get stuck, or worse, it could drop. And yes, maybe you were blowing this out of proportion but tell that to the 10,200 elevator accidents this year. Normally you would just take the stairs but with the heels you had on, it would be like walking through hell.

Yet by the time you were pulled out of your thoughts, the thing you dreaded most was straight ahead. The elevator. Now, you knew Jack wouldn't mind going down the stairs after all, it was just two floors, but you didn’t want to ruin the mood. Not when he was all giddy and excited for you to finally see the movie he worked years on.

Before approaching the elevator you came to a halt, Jack stopping with you. He looked at you with knitted eyebrows, silently asking you “What's up?” with his eyes. “Jack, can I ask you something?” Your tone was light, but you could hear the nervousness, you were just hoping he didn’t. “I don’t know, can you?” You rolled your eyes at his playful impertinent remark but asked your questions. “Is there any other way to get down? Like without the elevator?”. Jack's face morphed into an obviously perplexed one. “Not unless you wanna take the stairs. Or jump. We could probably jump, yeah?” He was chuckling at his own jokes when he noticed the serious look plastered onto your face.

“You really don't want to take the elevator?” you nodded your head at his question unsure of how he was going to respond. “How come?” he had asked, genuinely confused, Jack had loved elevators, he loved the feeling they gave him in his stomach. Like a rollercoaster ride almost.

You shuffled your feet, embarrassed to explain. “I'm afraid of them.” and though Jack didn't mean it, he found himself giggling at your confession. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry- Ok how do you wanna get down? Jumping is still an option,” You shook your head listlessly, and Jack got the message.

“Okay, how about we take the stairs?” he asked and his joking demeanor had faded. “Yeaaah, about that,” you dragged your vowels before resuming, “I think my ankles would be absolutely annihilated if I did”. Jack had a growing smirk on his face, he rubbed his chin pretending to be in deep thought. He snuck a quick glance at the staircase that was just across from where you both were standing and then a glance at you before talking. “I might have a solution.” He spoke, and before you even got to respond he swooped you up bridal style while running over to the stair case.

You had numerous protests while he was carrying you, they mostly consisted of “Jack put me down!” “Stop I’m gonna ruin your hair Jack!” and occasionally “People are looking!!” and Jack being Jack he didn’t stop until the of the stairs.

When you got there you shot him an injudicious look. “Why’d you do that? You could've messed up your outfit,” He shrugged evidently unbothered by his rash action, yet still grinning like the Cheshire cat. “You didn't seem too fond of the jumping option so I thought I’d help out a bit” You playfully shoved his shoulder. “Maybe I'll jump the next time we leave, okay?” He laughed while nodding his head. “Deal.”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

also sorry u requested this like 2 weeks ago ahh!!

[swtnrcmnt]

୨୧ — s.r x bau!r; headcanons

more spencer content !! woo ! after publishing the spencer x singer!reader headcanons, i was like yes this is so cute but imagine bau!reader... heart explosion omg. so enjoy !

i've always thought it would be so cute if spence and bau!reader met in like season 1, and then stayed together throughout the whole show. that's just so cute to me :')

like. you probably had a desk directly opposite him and would just tease and bother him to see him get all flustered

your relationship probably started as like a 'fights like siblings' relationship and over time escalated to something more

oh he was for sure the first one to fall in love and fall hard

talking to him about pop culture stuff while he's trying to work and he's just telling you the logic behind things and statistics of you getting married to the hot lead in a new movie

he really really appreciates how much you care about his random little statistic facts. while the rest of the team is now "sorry i asked" you're the one who's like "no, go on" SFUSHDB MY HEART

is so so so nervous to ask you out so he goes to derek for some advice and right away you can tell he did

him coming to work with a new book for you to read since you said you wanted to start reading more

and in exchange you convince him to start reading romance novels and watching reality tv muahahaha

hanging out on the jet after a case and the rest of the team is betting genuine money on how long it'll take for you to get together

being there for him through all the shit he went through since the rest of the team was just soooooo oblivious

fast forward a bit, and this is now the prison arc.. ugh it would hurt so bad to see everything go down knowing you can't visit him because you're on a case and can't call him

i need somebody to write a bau reader reaction to cat adam's pregnancy thing (i can't 100% remember but I'm pretty sure spence wasn't the father anyway) and it causes a small problem in your relationship but blows over pretty quickly

omg speaking of pregnancy imagine having a baby shower with the team :')) penelope and rossi would spoil the shit out of that baby and it isn't even born yet omg

bringing baby reid to the bau to meet the team and spence is just so proud he's a dad now he's just showing her (yes her, he's a girl dad idc) off to everyone he sees like "look at my cute daughter!"

getting married too omg. having the wedding in Rossi's backyard like jj and will did (bc it's now tradition i said so)

scolding him for every stupid decision he makes in the field. for ex, literally taking his vest off in a train full of hostages and a psycho with a gun

but it's ok because at least he's still alive !

i love this dynamic so much it's so cute

my heart is in pieces now bye

that's all for now ! i hope u enjoyed :)

[jellyfishbeansontoast]

10 things I hate about you

I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare

omg ok the long awaited second part i am so sorry for dragging this out i’ve genuinely been so busy but i hope you enjoy! it’s a bit shorter than the last one but we’re ramping up to the angst <3

previous part

Steve regrets offering the kids a lift home as they interrogate him about his plan. The two boys and El squished in the back. “You do have a plan, right?” Dustin questions.

“Of course I have a plan.” he lies.

“Let’s hear it then.” Mike pipes up.

“It’s a secret.”

“You don’t have one.” Both boys speak at the exact same time.

“Look, I’m a busy guy, I don’t spend my time researching how to get El’s scary sister to go out with me so that you two” he looks accusingly at Mike and El “can go out.”

“Good thing we have.” says Max from the front seat. Steve groans, slamming his head into the steering wheel. “You need to play the long game, there’s a party on Saturday.”

“How is that relevant?”

It’s Max’s turn to groan “Are you seriously that stupid? Ask her to go with you, dummy.”

-

Thankfully, you see him before you reach your car. His arm is stretched over the top of your window as he leans backwards on it. You take a breath and prepare for the task of removing Steve off of your car so you can peacefully drive home.

“Steve.”

“Y/n.” he lowers his sunglasses.

“To what do I owe the pleasure.” the sarcasm drips off your tongue.

The training El had given him kicks in, ignore the sarcasm. “There’s a party on saturday.”

“I’m aware.”

“Wanna go with me?”

Your scoff answers his question, “Please get off my car.”

“But-”

“Off.” Steve admits defeat this time, and he would call it quits full stop but he remembers El and if he’s honest he’s a little bit scared of what the group will do to him if he doesn’t at least try again.

-

Steve’s face greets you when you shut your locker door. “Funny seeing you here.”

“This is my locker.” you lean against it, huffing in annoyance.

“Right.” he clears his throat “about the party.” You push yourself off the locker, propelling yourself as far away as you can get from the persistent boy and his incessant badgering about the party on saturday. He jogs after and you’re disappointed to see he’s a fast runner. “It’s just one party, we don’t even have to go for that long, maybe just an hour”

“An hour I won’t get back.”

“You’re sure you don’t wanna come?”

“I am certain I don’t want to spend an hour with you.”

“Ouch.”

You regret being so harsh almost instantly, casting him an apologetic look “Sorry I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Let me know if you change your mind” he winks before walking away from you.

-

The bell rings, alerting Steve to begin his spiel “Welcome to Family Video, how can I help you today?” He lifts his gaze from where it had been focused on a game of noughts and crosses with Robin. “Y/n? Change your mind so soon?” a cocky grin replaces the shock on his face.

“As if.” you head towards the horror section, Steve trails behind you.

“That one’s pretty scary, you want some company?”

“What do you want, Harrington.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” He leans against the rack of films.

“Quit the act Steve, you treat everyone like shit but now suddenly you’re all interested in me? This a dare or something?” he stays silent “You can tell Tommy and Carol you lost.”

“I don’t hang out with them anymore.” he mumbles, his confident demeanour disappearing.

For once it’s your turn to look shocked “King Steve without his cronies?”

“I don’t act like that anymore either” he studies your face for a reaction “I’m serious. I genuinely want to take you out.”

“Ok..” you decide to drag it out a bit, torturing him just a few seconds longer “I’ll give you a chance. Pick me up at seven?”

Steve lets out a relieved breath, quickly replaced by a pang of guilt, he’d forgotten the reason for convincing you to go out with him. Who was he to fuck with your feelings like that? He pushes the guilt aside, that’s a problem for later, you’re still standing in front of him expectantly. “Yeah, seven’s good.”

taglist:

@johnricharddeacy @midnghtprentiss @idli-dosa @lilsunshine1092 @hollandweather

[ickadori]

Ok hear me out what if satoru from poly au starts to fall for reader too 💀 how would each of them react omg

if this is before everything goes down and reader is ignorant to how they really feel about them, i’d imagine nothing would happen, really. satoru would just stop playing favorites and would give equally in the relationship. getou would be happy, because while gojo played favorites, he did not. he was very fair with his love and affection, and that’s part of the reason why you had stayed ignorant for so long. what gojo lacked, getou made up for and never left you wanting for anything.

now, if this is after everything happened and reader knows that they’re pretty much second place when it comes to who they love the most, i feel like they’d be a bit hesitant to believe him. you had thought he loved you equally in the beginning, had been so sure of it, only to have your delusions ripped from you so suddenly. what if this is simply another one of his grandiose lies? a ploy to get you back simply to appease and pacify getou, the one who had made all this happen in the first place?

gojo would feel guilty, rightfully so, and would probably bombard you with gifts and gaudy declarations of love. obnoxiously large bouquets of flowers, expensive jewelry with their shared initials on it, clothing you could have hope to afford on your own, your favorite foods (which he had to learn from getou, because of course he had never bothered to learn your favorite things) delivered hot and fresh to your door whenever you had a bad day.

he was constantly in your space, smiling and teasing as he told bad jokes and apologized in a smooth way that seemed far from genuine. he’d follow you around and pick at you like you were both teenagers with a crush - tugging at your hair, poking at your cheeks, pulling you into hugs and nuzzling against your cheeks. he fully believes in the proximity principle and will make sure he’s around you as much as he can be.

he uses getou, too, because you’re a bit softer with him. gojo had been the main perpetrator, so most of your hurt and anger had been directed at him. he’ll get in his ear and whine about how you’re treating him, how it’s unfair and how he’s apologized so many times - what’s their deal? i said sorry, don’t they know i mean it? won’t you talk to them, suguru. make ‘em like me again, yeah?

getou will brush him off in the beginning, it’s karma after all, what goes around comes around. he had watched you silently pine after gojo’s attention and affection while in the relationship, and now he would watch gojo pine after you. now, getou wasn’t blameless in all of this, and he’s sure his karma would come to get him, some way or the other, but he’d enjoy this game of tug-o-war in the meantime.

[buoyantsaturn]

i have so many talented friends are you jealous

when the evening pulls the sun down (and the day is almost through) by emi @thelordofshrimp

the temptation to include rcau. however: spiderman reference and also elbow drop are undefeatable <3

professionalism is a social construct by katherine @yrbeecharmer

bc its the one non-exes au fic from this year and also bc just bc winning best au in liz's fic awards isnt making you work on this any faster then maybe me reminding you of it now will <3

FAR GALAXIES by rosy @rosyredlipstick

god. the toss-up between this and it's a scream was insane. genuinely i do not know how you do it rosy you are so talented i am in awe of you always and i am SO excited to see where this fic ends up <3

What if I Told You None of it was Accidental by alfie @lordstormageddidnt

comes out of alfie's ao3 page covered in blood. so much destiel. please. take this solangelo fic. i risked my life for this.

training wheels by ethan @ethannku

ok. we can have some valgrace instead of the solangelo fic ethan wrote this year. and NOT just bc i beta'd this fic <3

i hope that we meet in another life by becca @thebhorror

sorry. yall KNOW i had to pick the saw trap fic.

whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like I am home again by lori @sunflowersandscreams

omg hiiiii i actually found this one while searching for which fic i wanted to post and its so short and sweet that i couldnt resist <3

you keep pushing love away (and you fall in head first) by niamh marie @ikeasharksss

hiiii not to post the most recent fic published BUT im a sucker for royalty aus <3

Distant Early Warning by marblebee @marbleheavy

thank u my beloved marblebee for giving me an easy option by only posting one fic this year <3 sorry about ur foot tho

With this heart of mine that's guilty, not remorseful by dreamy @dreamyzworldlove

the thg au has captivated me. what i can i say.

If you love me... by ember @gatesofember

JASICO!!!! this fic makes me so insane <3 love jasico <3

but of course these are all just fics. also very important to check out all of the insane art posted by liz @sclangelc and also remi @pinkerpick and i guess leafy @gayleafpool if youre into cats

[helpallthenamesaretakenblog]

EP 4 was just mostly talking and conversations, but there was so much depth THAT I MUST TALK ABOUT IT.

I could literally feel the anguish exuding out of Sally trying to teach Percy to swim

Ngl i was a lil skeptical about azrien’s acting but hearing that scream changed everything

“Hey, you still sleeping?” “Yes” she’s so relatable i love it

i thought we were going to wait until the zebra truck scene for the trauma bonding but we got some of it now which is cool and also makes me wonder whether they’re going to take it to a whole level in the zebra truck scene

I kinda like how annabeth knows so much about grover their dynamic in the show is just so chef’s kiss

I dont know if the whole “thalia made me earn it” thing is canon but its an interesting spin on their dynamic

Grover is such a mood pls shoutout to grover (this episode focused a lil more on percy and annabeth’s dynamic)

Its interesting how they changed frederick chase in the show. In the book frederick never wanted annabeth but in the show frederick loved annabeth. It makes more sense now that percy asks her to go back especially in the books, that was very controversial to have annabeth seem like she was overexaggerating about what she went through with them

i was waiting for them to introduce the searcher pan stuff i almost thought they’d erased it, thankfully they brought it up

ANNABETH’S FACE WHEN THE COP CALLED HER A “LITTLE GIRL” LEAH YOU’RE A ROCKSTAR

Medusa>>>>echidna in the show IM SORRY ECHIDNA WOULDN’T STOP TALKING

The architect in annabeth is coming out i hope she explicitly talks about it later on

I don’t think the writers knew what to do with grover when percy and annabeth were talking so they just made annabeth a little unnecessarily rude for some reason?? At least its better than the movies, where annabeth and grover just WALK AWAY from hermes and percy

i didnt expect the random posh voice it threw me off but it was so funny

OK but can someone help me with this? Percy in this scene says “i have a gift” to annabeth? Could someone pls explain? What gift?

Last episode i was cringing at the screen at percy for the “can’t we just call your mom?” This episode i was cringing at the screen for annabeth’s “you wanna say hi to your dad :))))” these kids have no sense of touchy subjects do they

you’ve done so much more to me in the past few days than poseidon has done in my whole life. If i have to stick with somebody, i—“ “be careful, you were about to call me a friend” THIS DIALOGUE IS SO PRECIOUS ITS WORTH A BILLION DOLLARS

Im suspicious about the percabething this series is doing so far, i feel like its too early, its giving me a feeling that there’s going to be some big angst thats going to happen later on to break the world

When Percy fell, i was genuinely thinking he was going to give annabeth a hug lol (“wow annabeth no you are my friend!!” Something like that)

alexa play jump and fall by ts

I love that they’re expanding the consequences that came with sending medusa’s head to olympus, and how it negatively impacted annabeth, which will probably turn angsty later on

Also, percy looks half dead

The plan to push annabeth into the stairs was executed so smoothly wow

i like they are exploring the very concerning side of percy too, the part of him thats like “im the useless one im ready to die no probs” ALSO THALIA PARALLELS THEY’RE DEF GONNA TOUCH ON THAT NEXT EPISODE

i like how the water grabbed percy like a little tunnel

Its so funny how the nereid says poseidon’s name and percy just starts struggling more like “HELL NO”

THE PARALLELS OF THE START OF THE EPISODE OF PERCY TELLING SALLY TO BREATHE AND THE END OF THE EPISODE OF NEREID TELLING PERCY TO BREATHE

What the heck is that throne thing? Why is percy turning golden? What is happening? HUGGGGGG!! (Too early, as i said), oh look ares—OMG ITS ARES!!