#this man has pent up rage for ages

[advent-march]

Put wylan in a rage room and at first he wouldn't break anything claiming he doesn't like it but five minutes later he would be covered in sweat, bat hung over his shoulder, surrounded by the destruction of his own making

[dhampir-dyke]

.

[honey-flustered]

Along For The Ride (Part 1 of 2)

MDNI +18 Only!!

Farmer!Older!Beefy!Eddie Munson/ Mean!Bougie!Fem!Reader

Summary: A drunken joyride leads you in the midst of Eddie Munson, who’s seeking repayment for the damages made to his property by you. Fed up with your constant misbehavior, your father makes a deal with Eddie in which you will do some manual labor around his farm in exchange. You’re not too pleased with this arrangement and your differences in personalities lead to a clashing of heads…and tongues?? (8.5k words)

A/N: I have not written in ages. It is really tough being a writer with the pressures I place on myself to be perfect, to gain more likes and followers, to write things as quickly as possible. I’m learning to fall in love with writing again. It’s a slow process but someday I’ll be able to share all the great things I’ve been working on for the past year. Anyway, here is my start to starting my journey again and thank you all for supporting me.

Older!Eddie photo edit by: @/eddiemunsons-missingnipple

CW: fluff and lots of angst, enemies to friends to lovers trope, SLOW BURN, age gap (Eddie 40s, Reader 20s), mean!affluent!reader, bad girl reader, light smut/eventual heavy smut, bratty!reader, ugly duckling turned swan trope, reader character development, mean friends, minor canon events from tv series (chrissy death, eddie accused of chrissy and other victims deaths), limited knowledge of farm life and work, drunk driving, consumption of marijuana and alcohol, committing of property crimes, return of reader’s ex, mentions of insecurities, descriptive and graphic language, lots of sexual tension, kissing, dry humping, eddie cums in his pants

You bellow out the lyrics to Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Getting Back Together” along with your three friends, not a care in the world for who would be unfortunate enough to hear you in the chilly 3 am evening. The girls pass around a bottle of tequila when your best friend, Tana, —seated in the passenger seat— attempts to pour a shot into your mouth.

“Babe, no. I drank enough at the club. The guy that asked for my number was practically throwing them at me. I had to kill a plant by pouring my drinks onto the poor thing. Men ruin everything.” You pout.

“Amen to that, sis,” Tana says, snapping her fingers. “Had a guy tell me that he thinks I’m the one for him. Turns out, he’s married with a baby on the way.”

You all playfully point your index fingers to your tongues, faking gags before leading into a giggling fit.

“I had a guy ghost me because he didn’t like me sharing my selfies on social media. Said that ‘they should only be exclusive to him’.” Your friend, Essie, shares.

“I feel like we need to get back at men for the shit they put us through,” Brooke chimes in. “I’m in the mood to make a man fall to his knees, whimpering for mercy.”

“You kinky little minx!” You laugh. “Are you trying to make men pay or are you trying to get laid?”

“Can it be both?” Brooke says, biting her acrylic-donned thumb.

“I say…” Tana calls attention to herself, raising a hand. “We choose a random house on this street to wreak our vengeance. One of the homes has to belong to a man.”

“I’m in!” Essie beams.

“Me too.” Brooke says, high fiving Tana for her devious plan.

“I don’t know, guys,” You say, reluctant to rain on their parade. “We’re pretty drunk but I don’t think we’re drunk enough to want vandalism charges. Let’s just go to one of those rage rooms and let out all this pent up energy. We could scream out female rage lines from our fave movies and break shit.”

“That’s…okay but it’s not as epic as Tana’s idea,” Essie says, leaning forward to be in better earshot range. “Come on, y/n. It’s only for tonight. You know, we’re just having some harmless girl time fun. It’s not like we’ll be breaking and entering. We’re just gonna do some silly stuff then leave. Pleeaaase. I just broke up with my boyfriend. I need this.”

You take a quick glance at the girls who all send big, puppy eyes your way. You sigh then laugh. “I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

They cheer at your response, knowing that they’ve won. You raise a hand to cease their cheers and they quickly go dead silent. “Since, I’m the most sober one here. We’re doing this my way,” While staring at the road ahead, a smirk slowly spreads across your face. “I get to choose the place.”

——————

The four of you sneak onto the open field, tiptoeing through the tall grass. Based on the smell wafting in the air, you are certain there are barn animals nearby.

With a nasal tone in her voice from holding her nose, Tana says, “Ugh, how could anyone work around this icky smell?”

“Shhh,” You order, putting a finger to your lips. “If we need to be quiet if this is going to be a successful in and out mission. Do you remember the plan?”

“How could I forget? It’s the most basic prank ever.” Tana whisper-yells, holding up the two rolls of toilet paper in her hands.

“It’s still a huge pain to the homeowner,” You defend confidently before letting out a wicked giggle. “He will be so inconvenienced when he wakes up in the morning.”

Tana shakes her head lovingly at you before peering to her right and left. “Umm, y/n, where’s Essie and Brooke?”

Your eyes widen as you unintelligibly peer to your right and left as well despite knowing the space is empty. “Oh shit,” You facepalm. “How could we have let them out of our sight? Who knows what those morons are doing?”

“Hew we awe,” Essie carries a ‘baby talk’ inflection as she materializes from the dark bluish night with a medium-sized pig cradled in her arms. “Evwyone meet Wilbur.”

“I’m sorry but where the hell did you get that pig?!” You say, no longer able to keep your voice to a whisper.

“The barn, obviously.” Brooke replies.

“What happened to not breaking and entering?! I take my eyes off you two for a second and you’ve already broken a handful of crimes.” You scold.

“But we’re saving him, y/n. You don’t want this pig to become bacon, do you?” Essie says, holding up the pig near your face only for it to wiggle out of her grasp and take off running.

“We’ve gotta catch that stupid fucking pig!” You yell and the girls obey. The group comically chases the animal around, slipping and sliding through mud and crops. In the chaos, the pig makes contact with the toilet paper you’ve long abandoned, tossing it around with the help of the forceful winds to guide it all over the field.

You spot the pig approaching the door of a small blue cottage. You dive forward, fully immersed in the thick mud that soiled your white tank top and denim skirt and you cared little for this fact with your concerns focused on obtaining the pig in your arms. He squeals and whines against you as you plead for its compliance.

Suddenly the porch lights turn on, shining down on you like a spotlight. The door swings open and not long after you’re forced to look into the eyes of your prosecutor from the ground.

A rugged, older man with unruly, curls of brown hair cascading down his shoulders and the deepest brown eyes that are as large as buttons. The same eyes that were now staring down angrily at you.

“What the fuck?” He says through gritted teeth. It’s not until he sees the full extent of your wrath that he decides to emphasize his previous statement with a fury of a thousand suns. “What. The. Fuck!”

You swallow hard, releasing the pig as you collect yourself off the floor. The man feels no need to check whether his pet had entered the home safely, wanting his eyes to focus on you in case you tried running.

“I-I could explain. W-we were just—”

“We?” He abruptly interrupts, upholding the gruffness in his tone.

You were afraid that he’d say that. After all, those bitches were a little too quiet for your liking. After looking behind you to confirm their abandonment, you slowly face your prosecutor once again.

Swallowing the hard lump in your throat you begin, you try scrambling for an answer. This is already a very terrifying situation. This man looked terrifying himself. He’s robust in build, littered with tattoos, and had piercings. You don’t see men like him everyday or at all on your side of town. Men usually groomed themselves like ken dolls where you come from. But when you have come across men that look like him, the experience has always been a negative one—-only this time you were the one at fault.

“I’m sorry.” You shrug with an awkward smile then tack on a “Please don’t call the cops.”

He sighs deeply. “I’m not going to call the cops…”

“Oh, thank god.” You sigh in relief, a hand to your beating chest.

“You’re going to call your parents,” He finishes. “And you are going to tell them that we’re going to come up with a solution for this or I will be calling the police.”

“Oh, fuuuck.” You groan.

————-

“I’m so very sorry, sir. Truly,” Your father says after profusely apologizing for the 7th time since his arrival. “She’s been acting out a lot ever since she’d gone away to university. My wife and I don’t know this girl but she is not the y/n we raised.”

You roll your eyes at the comment, texting away at your friends who wanted to know the details of your capture. Meanwhile, you’re too busy cursing them out to care about how badly you’ll be punished for this.

“I’m just glad things didn’t get any worse or when someone could’ve seriously ended up getting hurt.” The farmer says, staring pointedly at you.

“Now I was thinking…though I could very well pay for the trouble and we could be out of your hair, I’m a man that likes to go above and beyond when it comes to taking responsibility. My daughter’s exceedingly aware of this fact about myself,” Your father scoots his seat up closer to the table, fingers together as if proposing a business plan. “It appears that you might need some temporary assistance in tending to your farm work. If you’re looking for an extra set of hands to help with some manual labor for the next two weeks, my daughter is happy to oblige.”

“Excuse me!” You say, attention fully invested in the conversation. “Tell me you're joking.”

“Nope. You are grounded. Meaning that though you are visiting for spring break, you are currently under my roof, my rules. I am still your parent after all. To clarify, there will be no going out with your friends. You are to come straight to

Mr. Munson’s farm every day after your time at your mother’s shop. You’ll help the gentleman around with whatever he asks of you.” Your father explains.

“And what if I don’t?” You ask, defiant.

“Then you’ll be cut off and you’ll have to earn money on your own.”

“Y-you m-mean a j-job?” You ask, horrified.

“Exactly.” Your father confirms.

You stare wide-eyed at farmer Munson who has a prominent smirk on his face. “I like the sound of that, sir. You’re a good man.”

You shriek in anger. “You’re the worst!”

You furiously stomp out of the home, hating your life and men once again.

————

Your father had no doubts that you’d be going to work on the farm once he’d threaten to take away your (his) money. When you arrive at the address, you’re immediately reminded how you're not on your side of town anymore. It’s officially Hickville.

Reluctantly knocking on the door, you hope that Eddie won’t answer the door, praying that he’s changed his mind and took the money instead. Unfortunately, he answers the door with a huge smile in contrast to your deadpan demeanor.

“Oh, come on, lighten up, sugar. I made some of my famous iced tea ahead. One taste and it’ll all seem worth it.”

“It’s not fair!” You rant, pushing passed him. “Why am I being the only one punished? This was all Brooke’s idea. And Essie was the one who stole the goddamn pig.”

“His name is Wilbur,” Eddie corrects. “And who are we talking about exactly?”

“Doesn’t matter,” You sigh. “Bad things always happen to good people.”

“I’ll say.” Eddie says, staring you down.

“Why are you staring at me like that?”

“You really think you’re the victim in all of this?”

“Are you?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t we check out the lovely view of the TP’d trees blowing in the wind?” He asks sarcastically, gesturing to his window.

“It’s just a little toilet paper. Never had a little prank done on you.”

“Wow,” He feigns a smile, shaking his head at you. “Your audacity to diminish all the negative things you’ve done to me into the spirit of good fun is astounding.”

“My therapist did always say I have a knack for looking at things on the bright side.” You retort.

“Is that so?” He asks mockingly. “Well then, you’re gonna love this special job I have for you.”

—————

Which leads you to the situation you’re in now. You’re staring into the eyes of a cow whose large brown eyes kind of reminded you of farmer Munson except they actually held kindness in them and not pure disdain.

“There’s no way I’m milking this thing. I have no idea how to do that,” You say, prompting Eddie to raise a suggestive eyebrow at you. “You know what I mean, pervert.”

Suddenly, an idea clicked in your head. Maybe you could use this ‘pervert’ thing to your advantage. He’s obviously single or he wouldn’t be this much of a crab. You can easily seduce him and get out of doing anything!

“Mr. Munson,” You say with a purr in your voice as you press yourself up against him. “I’m actually really good at milking other things after all. You’ve got me pegged at that. Maybe…I can show you just how skillful my mouth and hands can be for you.”

He laughs. He fucking chuckles in your face. How fucking dare he?! “That was rich. Seriously, that performance was just…moving. You can try to sway me with sex all ya want, hun. Trust me there are women and men who’ve tried,” He slightly narrows the gap between your faces, staring you down. “I don’t buckle under that kinda pressure, sugar. It’ll take a lot more than salacious words to make my dick jump. Now why don’t we go back to the task at hand, shall we?”

You’re fuming. This asshole really thinks he can get away with making you out to be a fool. Well, two could play that game. You’re going to make his existence for the next two weeks feel like a total nightmare.

He seats you on a small stool beside the cow before instructing you on how to milk her. You halfheartedly reach for an udder, shrieking at the feel of it between your fingers.

“This is so gross!” You whimper, squeezing your eyes shut. “I’m going to disassociate and imagine that I’m in a niche boutique in Manhattan.”

“Ah, spending daddy’s money even in your dreams. How thoughtful.” He mutters.

“You have no right to judge me just because you think I’m privileged.” You snap.

“I don’t ‘think’ you’re privileged. You are privileged. See the difference?”

You tug on an udder, purposefully targeting him as the milk drenches him. His face puckers his face before staring daggers at you.

“Oops.” You say in a sickeningly sweet tone.

——————

You begrudgingly enter your house key into the doorknob, body aching from the day's work. The moment you enter, your father’s happy-go-lucky spirit engulfs you and it takes everything in you not to explode.

“Hey, honey, how was your first day?”

“Question, father,” You begin, calling him the formal term instead of “papa” or “dad”. “Do you love me?”

“Now what kind of silly question is that?” He reverts back with his own question, befuddled.

“I’m just curious because I don’t think a father who truly loves their daughter would ever put her through the kind of hell I just went through today.” You respond.

“You milked a cow,” Your teenager brother, Aspen, enters the dining room before beginning a dramatic act. “Someone save the poor girl! She’s gaining new life experiences! You are such primadonna.”

“Shut up, ya little twerp.” You say, pulling his hoodie over his face.

“Your brother’s right, dear,” Your father says. “You are being really dramatic. I don’t get it. You never used to be this way. You loved reading books and conducting personal science experiments and geeking out over your favorite movies—”

“That just isn’t me anymore, dad. The sooner you accept that, the better it is for us all.” You grumble.

He decides to drop the topic in favor of keeping the peace for the dinner your mom prepared for the family to enjoy as a unit. But your mind couldn’t help but to wander back to those times where you were seen as a nerd and bullied for being different and having different interests. University was a different story though. There, you were able to reinvent yourself into the hot bad bitch you know today.

But why is it that your father’s words resonated so much with you? Had it been because it wasn’t the makeover or the new friends and partners you’d make along the way…it was the fact that he knew that you, yourself, couldn’t believe your own act. He knows that you're lying to yourself about liking the person you’ve become. No way could ever admit such a thing to him. And it’s not like you’d feel this way forever. Once you’re done with this hell labor with Eddie “The Devil” Munson, you can go back to your popular life.

————

The routine continued including your constant pushback. It went: shadowing your mother for the day with her bridal clients, heading over to the Munson farm soon after, non stop bickering between the two of you for 2 hours, then heading back home to soak your aching body and curse out the world.

Today is no different with the task of you grooming the stupid pig that got you into this mess in the first place.

“Wilbur. His name’s—”

“I know!” You shout at him, gathering the metal pail and wooden brush from the table. You grumpily made your way to the backyard of the home in search of the shed supposedly carrying the soap to clean the pig. When you notice Wilbur rushes out of a trailer home stationed in the backyard. “Hey, get back here!”

The pig is long gone and you don't care to chase after it once your interest is piqued by the mystery home in the backyard. Searching around to make sure there were no signs of Mr. Munson, you enter the place cautiously.

It’s as if the trailer had been stuck in the 1980s. Everything is vintage and old looking but also well kept. You see photos of the younger Eddie Munson scattered around the walls of the home and—-though you hate to admit it—he was just as handsome as he is now. In some of the photos including one pinned to the fridge by a magnet, you can see an older man. Maybe his father.

Your eye catches an old poetry assignment also pinned to the fridge with a large ‘C+’ above it. A little note at the top explaining his grade being contributed to some misspellings and some inappropriate language despite the good work.

You raise the paper to your eyes and read:

If I Were A Hobbit

If I were a hobbit, I’d be so free

I’d frolic in the grass and smoke some trees

With furry feet and a merry heart

From adventure’s call, I’d never depart

With Bilbo’s tales, I’d while away time.

In the beautiful land of Middle Earth’s rhyme

I’d wander the fields beneath the sun

I’d travel it world cause it’s all in good fun

If I were a hobbit, maybe I wouldn’t get laid

But, hey, it’s goddamn worth the price I paid

You giggle, amused at how fun Mr. Munson had been long ago. You wonder what could’ve happened. Immersed in the poem, you were unaware of his arrival until he whispered haughtily into your ear.

“We’re continuing the trend of breaking and entering, I see.”

You jolt away, facing him. “I-I’m sorry. But you said that I had to look for a shed. Should be more specific.”

“This looks like a shed to you, sugar?”

“Trailer…shed…it’s no different.”

He chuckles dryly. “You are a piece of work.”

“Look who’s talking? You know, you seemed a lot more fun when you were a teenager.” You comment, holding up the poem.

“Give me that,” He yanks from your hands, placing it back on the fridge. “Ain’t anyone ever tell you it’s wrong to go snooping around people’s things. Wait, who am I kidding? I met your father. Even if he were to have taught you these things, you’d probably go against him.”

“You’re a pain in my ass.” You hiss.

“Right back atcha, sweetheart.” He retorts.

“Then, I hope you don’t mind if I continue to do so.” You say, pushing past him to go into the hallway.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asks, hot on your trail.

You enter a bedroom and it’s another blast from the past. The typical kind of teenage boy bedroom. It’s no shock to you that he's a metalhead. You begin to rummage through his collection.

“You little brat,” He huffs. “I’m too old to be dealing with this shit!”

“Live a little,” You say, popping in a blues cassette into the radio. “Dance with me.”

He stands in the middle of the room, arms crossed as you begin to dance in circles around him. Your boot kicks up a newspaper article crumpled up on the ground and you go to retrieve it, ignoring Eddie’s protests.

It is an article about 15 years ago that expresses Eddie Munson’s exoneration in the death of Chrissy Cunningham and him receiving only a $50,000 settlement. It also goes into detail that his only known immediate family and caretaker, Wanye Munson, had died just a month before his release.

“Oh my god, Mr. Munson. I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t…” You trail off, knowing what to say or even where to begin.

“It’s all in the past now,” He sighs. “Besides, I’m fine now. I still have my friends. They are like family. They’ve got their own lives but when they can they check on me. That’s more than enough.”

Without thinking, your arms curl around his body and for the first time you get to feel his body against yours and it’s addicting. He tenses for a moment, unsure whether this is okay but eventually he melts into your embrace.

His beefy arms cradle you, a large hand resting atop your head. Your heartbeats fall in sync with one another’s and you allow yourself the brief moment to nuzzle into his chest, the chest hairs peeking above his tank top tickles the tip of your nose.

You dare to look him in the eyes, seeing them already looking down at you. They were wet with unshed tears, pleading with you for something. It’s the first time you’ve seen that look on his face and like a magnet you're drawn to it. You’re suddenly moving on your own accord, tiptoeing to brush your nose against his. He lowers his face to your level. Your lips are only a mere centimeters from his full ones when the sound of his phone ringing takes you both out of the moment.

He’s quick to pull away as if freed from an intense spell. Excusing himself, he leaves the room and heads outside. You’re left standing in the room alone, the soft, rhythmic melody of blues playing in the background.

Willing yourself to cool down, you decide to go on with your original task and find Wilbur while hoping it’ll shake off the electric feeling he left on your skin.

————————-

Bathing the pig proved to be quite the distraction because this little shit is making you use all your brain power to keep it still. Having stripped into just your bikini and rainboots, you held the pig for dear life as you washed and scrubbed at him and practically yourself.

You notice Eddie from the corner of your eye, stifling laughter as he leaned against a nearby tree.

“By the way, I’ve already washed off all the barn animals, tended to my crops, and was able to make myself a sandwich in the meantime. You, however, you’re still working on Wilbur. Or should I say, he’s working you.”

“Hardee har har,” You say, unamused. “Will you just help me with this pig?”

“Alright, alright,” He says, heading over to you. The pig immediately jumps from his grasp and into your arms. “It’s all in the technique.”

“Easy for you to say. He already knows you.” You grumble.

“Now what you’re gonna want to do is come up behind him. He's a big fella so in order to hold him down you’ll need to straddle him like this and place your hands down firmly on his back. That way he’ll know to stay put,” Eddie says getting into position, his boots digging in the dirt for some leverage. “He’ll tussle with ya a little but it’s only because he’s not used to being handled by other humans. He’s still a little frantic with me even after all these years. I saved him from the slaughterhouse so it comes with the territory.”

“You mean you weren’t going to turn him into bacon?”

“No, sugar, Wilbur’s family. Now get up on here with me. Don’t put too much of your weight on him. Only just enough to hold him down.” He instructs.

You follow suit, straddling the pig and placing your hands over Eddie’s before looking back over your shoulder at him. “Like this?”

“Just like that, sugar. You’re a natural. See? Now I’m just gonna go ahead and get up and you’ll take the—”

“What? No, don’t leave me! He’ll just shake me off again.” You protest.

Sure enough, the pig began to shake the both of you off its back, side to side until you both fell back into the soil. You fall right into Eddie’s lap and he instinctively grips your hips hard, causing you to let out a yelp and scramble out of his grasp.

You sat on your knees, looking at him with wide eyes and he returned with the same expression. The blush on his face intensifies and you follow the way his hands rush to pull the cowboy hat from his head to hold against his lap.

He quickly looks away from you, clearing his throat.

“You’ve got—erm, your bikini bra…” You’ve never seen him so flustered. So speechless. You eish you could relish in it but when you realize exactly what he’s insinuating, you feel your cheeks begin to heat up as you wish the world will swallow you whole.

Your tit is hanging out for the world to see. A fucking nipple slip! Why did God cease at nothing to make you the butt of every joke?

You briskly adjust your bra, shaking in your boots. The itching desire to run heavy on your mind.

“I-I s-should go,” Your shaky legs somehow allow you to stand as you peer down at him. “Have a good evening, Mr. Munson.”

You stiffly power walk your way to the small cottage home to gather your discarded clothes on the porch. Eddie’s large hand rests on your shoulder.

“Wait! I can’t send you off like this. You’ll track mud in your car.”

“It’s not like I haven’t done that before.” You scoff.

“Why don’t you shower here and I’ll offer you some fresh clothes? I’ll be making my stir fry in case you're hungry.”

“You being nice to me all of a sudden, Mr. Munson?” You ask, raising an eyebrow. “Can’t help but think there’s some kind of hidden agenda.”

He smiles a genuine 100-watt smile. “No, sugar. I’m just extending some needed hospitality is all.”

—————

You pull on the long sleeved t-shirt Eddie offered you, studying its logo. A horned demon, swords, dice and so on.

“It’s my old high school club t-shirt.” He says, coming to sit beside you on the couch.

“You were in a Dungeons and Dragons club?”

“You know D’N’D?”

“Know it?! I loved that game.” You say, excitedly.

“I didn’t think kids in your generation still played that game.” He laughs.

“Oh, yeah,” You nod. “I was a dungeon master. My campaigns were fire. Anyone who’d joined my games would always go around telling their friends to come see me in action.”

“No way! I was a dungeon master, too! I took it a little too seriously at times but it was like my second passion,” He looks you up and down. “I would have never thought someone like you would be into that kinda stuff.”

“I’ll ignore your sly comment to clarify that I wasn’t always like this back in high school.”

“What do you mean?” He asks.

“Well, you heard my dad. I used to be a goody two-shoes. A nerd. And I even dressed the part, too. The old me would’ve totally geeked at your Hobbit poem. I’m different now though.”

“What’s so wrong about being a nerd?” He inquires, scooting closer to you.

“I used to get bullied everyday. Boys would ignore me. Even the geeks would only ever see me as a friend. When I got to university, that all changed. Everyone wanted me.”

“I think if I’d known you then, we’d probably be good friends.”

“Yeah right. I seemed like the bad boy type who falls for the cheerleader. You wouldn’t have looked twice in my direction.”

“No,” Eddie says firmly, staring you intensely in the eyes. “I would see you.”

He repeats for emphasis. “I see you.”

You swallow the hard lump in your throat, choking back tears. You’ve never felt so vulnerable. It’s strange to be so open with a man who 5 days ago you would have choked with your bare hands.

“Besides,” He says, breaking the silence. “I think it’s you who would have ignored me. I’m not the bad boy you think I am. Sure, I was a bit of a troublemaker here and there. But I was a huge geek, too. Hadn’t even lost my virginity until age 36. A year after my release. No girl wanted to fuck me back in high school. I was ‘the freak’. To some people today, I still am one regardless if I’m innocent.”

“I would’ve believed you’re innocent. I’d have been by your side, too. Us, geeks, have to stick together, yeah?”

He huffs out a laugh. “Yeah.”

There’s that magnetic pull again. The attraction that makes you want to be as close to him as possible. You resist not wanting to make that move again but he takes the initiative, leaning in further only this time you're interrupted once again with the sound of your phone ringing. You throw a silent fit in your head. Eddie’s just as frustrated, expelling a long duration of air from his nose.

“Hello.” You say, answering the phone.

“Hey, baby,” A familiar voice says on the line. “It’s been months. I still think about our time in Venice and this spring fever is only making it harder to ignore.”

Now the memories come flooding in. It’s an ex-fling you met while studying abroad in Italy during your freshman year of university. The man who’d taken your virginity and showed you the ropes to popularity. The moment you left Italy you expected him to call you back but he immediately ghosted you. From then on, you became the maneater you are today.

“What do you want?”

You, of course. I hear you are back in your hometown. Luckily for you, I am doing some research here and I was wondering—-“

“Luckily for me? Are you on drugs, Stefan? I don’t care if you want me. You could forget my number and then you’ll forget me. Have a goodnight.” You quickly hang up the call, ignoring his pleas.

“Is everything alright?” Eddie asks, noticing the way you’re hyperventilating.

“I am now,” You sigh. “That was my ex. He was also my first. He treated me like shit made me feel stupid and like I needed him as if he created me. And back then, I felt like I did need him. Then he ghosted me. It felt good to give him a piece of my mind although I wish I could have said more.”

“I think you said enough. I’m certain you hit him where it hurts.” He laughs.

“I should probably go.” You say, standing up from the couch to grab your coat.

“What happened to staying for dinner?” He asks.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Munson”

“Eddie. You can call me Eddie.”

“Eddie,” You say, testing his name on your tongue. You’re not exactly sure if you’re ready to be this informal with him despite your almost kisses and the boob slip incident. “I’m sorry but his call has left me shaken. I think I need to be in the company of my girls.”

“You mean, the girls who got you into trouble and left you behind? The ones your parents warned you to stay away from?”

“Come on, dude, I need this. It’s not like you can give me great advice about guys.”

“I could. Considering I am one.”

“Well, I don’t think we’re close enough for that kind of session.”

“We just had this whole heart to heart. I thought we were seeing some improvement in our friendship.” Eddie says.

“We’re friends?”

“Us, geeks, stick together?”

“That’s just an oath. Doesn’t exactly confirm a friendship between us.”

He exhales deeply, trying to contain his anger. “Well, I guess you wouldn’t mind if I tell your father about your little hangout.”

“Are you blackmailing me?” Your eyes narrow at him.

“That would suggest that I’d be getting anything of value out of this which I wouldn’t be. Therefore, no this isn’t blackmail but it is definitely a threat. I don’t care if we’re friends. I don’t care to be your friend, sugar. But as the more responsible adult between us, I think it’s within our best interest that you don’t hang out with the people who cause you to commit crimes. So, I think I’ll be taking you home, hmm?”

“And what about my car?”

“I’ll take good care of it for tonight. I’ll pick you up tomorrow for your next job.” He smiles smugly.

If looks could kill, he’d be 7 feet under and you’d already be in hell.

————

Eddie pulls up to the front of your house. The whole ride there had been silent. You angrily gather your things, hurriedly trying to exit his van.

“Have a goodnight, sugar!” He shouts as you slam the door in his face.

Once you’re inside, you do the routine process of angrily ranting out your annoyance with farmer Munson while stomping angrily up the stairs. Your family used to this by now simply goes about business as usual.

You dial up Tana and after a couple rings she answers. “Hey, bitch! I was just about to text you the news. Did you hear who’s in town?”

“Yeah, Stefan, I know. How’d you know?”

“He's been calling me nonstop asking for you. Says he wants to talk to you.”

“I already did. Told him to fuck off,” You say. “And I thought I’d feel a lot better about it but I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I didn’t get to stomp on his weirdly-shaped small dick.”

“Oh, yeeahh. I remember the dick pic he sent you. It is weird, isn’t it? Like an undeveloped banana. Anywho…you wanna get high at my place and watch America’s Next Top Model reruns. I’ve got Jell-O shots.” She singssongs the last statement.

“I can’t remember. I’m on lockdown,” You sigh. “If I get into any more trouble or I might as well hand over a contract of my soul to the devil.”

“Bitch, you are a grown woman. These are the best years of our lives where we’re supposed to live it to the fullest. Sneak out! I’m coming over to pick you up.”

“Tana, n—” But she’s already hung up the call. Sometimes, you really hate this girl. With no choice, you’re forced to make a plan.

Firstly, you create a human-shaped pile in your bed, disguising it with your comforter. Next, you’ll be climbing out of your window and quietly land on your lawn. Finally, you enter your friend’s car and you’ll be homefree.

Although, the climb is a lot more daunting than you anticipated. It seemed like a lot of a higher jump from where you are standing. Tana’s car pulls in and she rushes out to jump up and wave, whisper-yelling to encourage you to do it.

“Tana, this is fucking crazy. You always make me do crazy shit.” You yell down at her.

“But it’s all for the sake of fun experiences.” She retorts. “Come on and jump. Be the bad bitch, you are. Think for a second. WWBD: What would Beyonce do?”

“She'd probably fire you as a friend.” You growl.

“Fair enough.”

“Okay, I’m ready to jump. Just be ready to catch me.”

“What?” Before Tana could register what you meant, you jumped, hurtling into her arms and straight to the ground.

“Huh, that wasn’t so bad.” You smile.

“Yeah, because I’m the one breaking your fall.” Tana groans.

“Payback’s a bitch, love.”

—————

“So, is the farmer plowing your garden?” Tana asks, while applying mascara to your eyelashes.

“Tana!”

“What? That’s got to be the only reason you’re officially over Stefan.” She says.

“I was already over Stefan. Eddie’s just my headache.”

“You’re on first name bases with him. Oh, you are definitely fucking him.”

“I’m not!” You insist.

“And did you say Eddie? That’s the infamous Eddie Munson. How could I have not seen the connection? He’s so hot. Is that okay to say about a murderer?”

“He’s not a murderer.” You quickly defend him causing Tana to raise her hands in surrender.

“Yikes, I’m sorry I didn't mean to offend your friend.”

“He’s not my…well, he is. But…he’s not a murderer. He never killed her. I did some digging on the internet and this town used to be really strange back then. Not how it is now. I don’t know but the circumstances in all the deaths that happened back in ‘86 are all too weird. No human could do the things that I’ve seen done to those corpses.”

“Bummer. Guess we’ll never know who did it. I hear people who know of this case still harass him to this day. It’s no wonder he practically lives off the grid.” Tana sighs. A knock at her front door leads her away and you’re alone to ponder your thoughts.

An overwhelming need to comfort Eddie hits you as you thought back to the moment he’d asked you to stay for dinner. You assumed it was all a ploy to get into your pants but now you realize that he’d genuinely enjoyed the little company he’d gotten.

You hear Tana’s footsteps and a set of another coming up the stairs and before you could get a chance to tell her that you’ll be leaving, she enters the room with your ex.

“What the hell is this?” You sneer.

“I just thought maybe you should hear him out.” Tana says with an anxious smile.

“I’m out of here.” You say, grabbing your jacket from her bed.

“Where are you going? Your car’s not here.” Tana rushes down the stairs after you.

“I’ll walk!” You hiss over your shoulder, pulling the door open where you’re unfortunately met with the presence of your father, brother, and the devil himself.

“Mr. Munson? Dad? What the hell are you all doing here?”

“Funny, I was just about to ask you the same thing.” Your father says.

Stefan steps out from behind you, handing you a piece of paper. “I can see that it is a bad time, mi cara. Please, call me when you can. It’s a new number since you’ve blocked my old one.”

With that, he acknowledges the men before him with a nod and leaves. It’s not lost on you that Eddie stares him down with a dirty look on his face before his eyes land back on you.

“If I could just explain...” You begin.

“No, y/n, I’m sick of your excuses. You sneak off at night to god knows where. You reek of pot and booze. Is this the type of example you want to set for your younger brother? He’ll be graduating next year. Should anticipate that his time in university will consist of lollygagging around instead of focusing on his career?”

You look over to your brother who, instead of carrying a smirk, he had a look of genuine concern for you.

“I was just having fun.”

“Is that all you can think about? When did fun require drugs and alcohol and committing crimes?! Fun for you used to be attending cosplaying conventions, not vandalizing properties and drunk driving.”

“Well, I’m not that anymore so you could fucking stop clinging to the past.” You yell.

Your father is taken aback and you could faintly see the waterline rising in his eyes. “Get in the car. Now!”

You shoot Eddie an angry look. “Us, geeks, stick together? Forget anything I ever said about believing in you.”

Your heart twinges at the shattered look on his face at your statement. No longer wanting to see the extent of your blow, you brush past him and follow your father’s command.

“As for you, young lady,” your father points to Tana. “I will be in touch with your parents regarding your misconduct.”

Tana’s mouth drops in complete shock at this revelation and for a moment you actually are proud of your dad.

————-

You plop yourself onto your bed, crying your eyes out. Not even really crying for yourself but for Eddie. How could you have been so cruel to him? All for the reason that he cares enough about you to make sure you aren’t getting into trouble. There’s no way he’d ever forgive you for the way you spoke to him.

A knock on your door calls to your attention. You reluctantly answer, knowing you’ll be getting yet another punishment. You’re surprised to find your brother, Aspen, at the door.

“What do you want, twerp?” You say.

“You should really apologize to dad. You made him cry. I’ve never seen him like that.” He says.

“I know. It’s just that I hate when people remind me that I was…a loser. I didn’t mean to be so awful to him, though.”

“You were never a loser. In fact, I used to think you were pretty cool. I wanted to be comfortable in my weirdness as you were. I’m happy that you’re finding yourself and all. But you don’t have to change who you are to appease anyone. Not even dad. It’s your life, sis. If you like drinking and partying, that’s okay. If you like reading nerdy books and cosplaying, that’s okay, too. As long as it’s something you want to do and not something you do to make people like you. So stop acting like you’re some psycho fembot that wants to spend the rest of her life in and out of jail.”

“Wow, Aspen, I’m impressed. I did not know you could speak incoherent sentences.” You tease, pulling him into a hug.

“Fuck off.” He laughs, struggling to free from your tight embrace.

————

The next day, after some time to think of your apologies. You began with your father. He admitted to you that he was scared of the thought of you growing up and not needing him and let’s just say that the two of you ended up bawling in each other’s arms and confessing your love and appreciation for one another by the end of it. Your busy event planner mother stumbled into the scene both heartwarmed and confused.

The next one is going to be a tough one for you. But you felt prepared with a handy long written note in your hand in case you needed to find the right words.

However, the moment you arrived on his farm and were met with the look of indifference on his face, you began to break down sobbing. Hard. The thought letter long abandoned to the ground.

His demeanor immediately softens, placing a hand on your shoulder to comfort you.

“I-I’m s-so sorry….you…friend…mean…,” You gasp an unintelligible apology through your tears. “Bitchy…geeks…believe you…stupid pig Wilbur…never would have met a great man like youuuu.”

He gives you a small smile, pulling you into his embrace. “I know, I know.”

“Understand?” You ask.

“Yes, sugar. I understand what you said. Crystal clear.”

“Accept?”

“Yes, I accept your apology.” Eddie laughs.

“You don’t hate me?”

“I never hated you. Even when you’re being an annoying brat. ” He says.

“Good,” You sniffle, pulling away from him to wipe your tears and compose yourself. “I’m happy we’re friends again.”

“Friends? Who said anything about friends?” He quips before patting your shoulder. “Yeah, we’re friends again.”

“Now you could get to work and then later you can make me that stir fry that I've been dying to try.” You beam, skipping into his home.

“Only if you’re a good girl.” He challenges.

For the day, the two of you would groom the horses together. Of course, you were still quite jumpy and the bougie princess he knows you to be but it was nothing he didn’t find amusing about it anyway.

“You should seriously take a look at my note though. I really thought out all the things I had to say for you. My weeping apology was only the tip of the iceberg.”

“I don’t know. I don’t think anything in that note will top that moment but I’ll take your word for it.”

“Read it when you’re alone though. I don’t want to see your face when you read it.”

“Why?”

“Because I know you’ll be all smug about.” You say, rolling your eyes.

“And you say you hardly know me,” He chuckles then switches to a serious, gruff tone. “So…Stefan…he’s a looker. Thinking about going back on your word to end things with him.”

You laugh. “I’m playing it by ear. He says he’s changed but that’s every jerks’ favorite line.”

“Just let him know that if he ever hurts you, I’ll kick his ass.” He threatens.

You step into Eddie’s space, his face flushes at the close proximity. Your hand raises up to cradle his heated cheek. “You couldn’t hurt a fly, Edward Allan Munson.”

Lost in your eyes, he fails to notice you tug the joint nuzzled behind his ears. Until you raise it up to his face with a knowing smile. “You smoke weed?”

“Baby, I used to be a dealer. In fact, I still grow my own supply.”

“No way.”

“Oh yeah. Maybe I was the freak but those jocks and cheerleaders were begging for a piece of my supply.”

“You wouldn’t mind if we smoke this one together.” You suggest.

“After your father chewed you out for it last night?”

“He knows I do it. And I learned this morning, after our heart-to-heart, that he was once a pothead, too. And now that I know that you are also a pothead, not only does this confirm my personal theory that most people smoke weed but also this makes our friendship so much more interesting.”

“You’re starting to throw that whole ‘friendship’ word around a lot more enthusiastically now.”

“My friend’s a dealer. I’m going to take full advantage of that.” You loop your arm around his guiding him to an empty stable so you can both fall against the hay.

He picks the hay from his hair, laughing. “I don’t even have a lighter and the fumes are not safe for the animals.”

“Babe,” You say almost insulted. “I always carry a lighter. You never know when you’ll find yourself in an impromptu smoke session or possibly get lost in the middle of the woods. Besides, we released the animals into the field for their little recess. We’re the only animals left here. Just you and me.”

“Alright, fine I guess we’re doing this. Don’t tell your dad about this, though. This will just be a one time thing.”

“Mhm, yeah sure, bud,” You say nonchalantly, busying yourself with lighting the joint. You hand over the joint to him and he protests, wanting you to take the first hit. You oblige. “It’s your joint. Don’t you know the rules? The one who bringeth, smoke..eth.”

“You wanted it badly so I let you take it first.”

“I didn’t want it ‘badly’. I’m not a fucking addict,” You laugh, bellowing out a puff of smoke. “I just thought it’d be a nice bonding moment. Wanna see how you get when you’re high.”

“It’s nothing special. I’m the same as I am now.” He shrugs.

“You mean, ‘a stick in the mud’?”

He bumps you with his shoulder causing you to lay back against the hay.

“You jerk, I just pick all that out of my hair.”

“Serves you right. Now hand me the joint. You’re hogging it,” He tries to reach for it but you raise it above your head. “You’re such a tease.

He attempts to reach for it again, falling on top of you. His full weight on your body is so damn delicious it takes everything in you not to moan. It doesn’t help that the weed has heightened your senses making you feel EVERYTHING. The way his hot breath feels tickling your neck along with the way his curls on his head gently caress your skin as he reaches for the joint. He seems oblivious to the state he leaves you in even after he’s gotten it until he lets out a puff of smoke in the air then looks back down at you once again. It’s evident he can see the darkened lust in your eyes because of the way his adam’s apple bobs in his throat. He suddenly feels so thirsty and it isn’t because of the weed.

Afraid a moment like this will be interrupted once again, you lunge forward attacking his lips. He’s caught fully by surprise, a strangled moan swallowed up in your frenzied fit of passion. You’re the one controlling the kiss, forcing him to roll on his back so you can grind down on the sizable erection in his jeans. The friction from the fabric of your lace underwear and the rough denim of his jeans are an undefeated combination against your puffy clit, sending flood after flood of your wetness to pool between your legs.

The kisses are sloppy. Your hands are everywhere; in his hair, yanking his shirt for dear life. His hands cup your face before entwining in your hair then they’re around your neck, unable to keep them still because he’d like to feel every part of you just as you wish to do to him. Every so often growls would escape your lips as you grind harder and harder against him.

“Fuck, Eddie, you feel so fucking good.” You whisper desperately into his ear.

“So do you, sugar. Ain’t even inside you yet and I’m already about to blow.” He groans, sweaty forehead pressed against your own.

“Can I fuck you, Mr. Munson?” You plead.

And the whine Eddie lets out confirms that it won’t be happening anytime soon. You look between your bodies, seeing the dark, wet patch on his jeans then back up at him.

He’s obviously embarrassed. “I’m sorry. It’s been a while.”

“That’s okay. Um, this was…this was really spontaneous.” You don’t immediately get off, wanting more and hoping he’d give you more so that he can make you cum, too.

Instead he grabs you by waist, lifting you off him in a hurry. “I’m sorry. I need to—-this was a mistake.”

And once again, he leaves you to your thoughts. All you could do is stare as he grew smaller and smaller in the distance, while you began to feel smaller and smaller on the inside.

[ggomos-maribat]

10 | in which Marinette Dupain-Cheng submits her resignation

Part 10 (Last Chapter) of No Mr. Wayne You Can't Adopt Me! | Masterlist

Marinette ticked off her mental checklist. Lights? Here. Stage? Ready. Food? All served. She clenched her jaw. Bruce Wayne, her boss, the single most important person for the night?

Missing in action.

She tapped her heeled foot on the ground. It was twenty minutes already, but the entire night's schedule was officially in disarray. Sooner or later, the guests would be asking. She had relentlessly called Bruce's phone over and over again that she didn't even know how many times it was. Even Damian she called a few times yet there was no answer.

She had a guess on what the reason was, but she expected more sense from Bruce—even if it was late at night, he would not be out there fighting crime.

Soon, she waved the figurative white flag and called Alfred after sneaking off somewhere quieter.

"Where is he?" she asked. Straightforward and simple.

"I'm sorry, Miss Marinette. I understand Master Bruce has an event today but . . ." Alfred trailed off. "He is currently unavailable at the moment."

"No, Alfred. Where exactly is he?"

A long pause followed. Then the elderly man spoke again. "I'm afraid he's caught up in a situation. They went out for patrol and seemed to have underestimated their targets. They are currently in a warehouse right now."

"What?" Marinette rubbed her head. Bruce, just. . . how?! "They, as in, all of them?!"

"Yes, Miss Marinette."

"Can no one get them right now?! The event was supposed to start ages ago!"

"Master Duke, Miss Cassandra and Miss Stephanie are all out of town unfortunately." Alfred sighed. "Actually, may I trouble you to rescue them? It will be faster than calling for backup from the Justice League."

Marinette bit her lip. Kwamis. How could all of them get captured?! What's stopping me from walking out from my job right now, huh, Bruce? I could leave you to your kidnappers all night long.

"I apologize, Miss Marinette, but they cannot seem to get out themselves. I will personally make sure Master Bruce gives you a bonus within the week—"

"Okay, send me the coordinates."

Marinette changed into a dark vigilante-type outfit as fast as she could. Alfred sent an auto-driven ride to her location and she floored the pedal all the way to the warehouse. Relax, Marinette, she told herself, you asked Tam to stall the guests. If we finish this in fifteen minutes and Bruce gives some sort of half-assed excuse to the attendees, it'll be fiiiine.

She pulled down her mask when she arrived at the warehouse. Going into it, she exercised a little bit of caution. But later on, she realized that taking down the men was a piece of cake and maybe the boys just got a little but unlucky.

She slammed the doors open to one room and saw the vigilantes all tied up.

"MMmmf mmff mmm?" Batman asked, but his mouth was duct-taped.

"That's not important right now." Before Marinette cut off their binds, she threw them one by one into the car: Batman at the passenger seat and Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin at the back.

"Who . . .?" Batman started again. The rest seemed speechless with shock (except Damian perhaps, who likely already figured her out).

"How, just how?" Marinette slammed the driver's side door loudly and twisted the ignition with her pent-up rage. "How did all of you get caught up in that?! Did you decide to play along with your kidnappers?!"

". . . Marinette?"

She huffed and drove, calculating the shortest possible route to the event venue. "Did you forget what was tonight, huh? Couldn't resist getting into your fursuit before a big launching event at WE?"

"But . . .but—"

"You literally have no excuse!" Marinette expertly swerved around cars, even nearly running a red light.

Batman reached for the car radio, which was playing a news update covering the WE event but she slapped his hand away.

"I thought I could make it in time," he helplessly explained, pulling his cowl down. "How did you know?"

"No, in case you didn't know, you're not making it in time." She instantly honked the car when another vehicle cut in in front of them. "Don't mess with me tonight, fucker!" She cried out the half-open window.

She swore she saw the boys at the back visibly gulp.

Marinette exhaled a steady breath. "Look, we'll talk about this some other time, but for now, you will go into that event, be a good CEO, and get treatment for your bruises the minute you get home, comprendre?"

"Com—comprendre . . ." Bruce repeated.

Marinette halted at the back of the venue, pulled out a formal outfit from a compartment and threw it at Bruce. Thankfully, he seemed to get the hint and bolted out of the car without complaints.

Marinette directed a glare at the boys through the rearview mirror. "Damian, switch with me. Jason, don't move and keep pressing on that wound. I'll give you first aid but we have to take you to Alfred to get that checked out."

"You got stabbed?!" Tim exclaimed.

"Um yeah." Jason sucked in a breath as Marinette hopped into the back and Damian took the wheel.

"Why didn't you tell us?!"

"You'll make a big fuss out of it." Jason rolled his eyes. "It's no big deal."

Marinette flicked his forehead while Tim helped get Jason's clothes out of the way. "It is a big deal; it looks pretty serious."

"I've had worse." Jason made a face as she treated his wound.

"Okay just because you died once already it doesn't mean you can get overconfident," Marinette sassed.

Tim stared at her with wide eyes. "How the hell did you know that?"

"I know everything." She finished off by wrapping the bandages around Jason's torso. "Sorry Dames, can you drive faster?"

With a nod, Damian sped up, replicating the rush from earlier. Jason also had his jaw hanging. "Demon spawn listens to her."

***

"How long have you known?"

They finally had the chance to sit down and talk the following day in the office. Marinette had her hands calmly folded on top of her lap, while Bruce was looking at her intently on the seat across.

"Ever since I started working for you."

Bruce blinked a few times, as if getting his identity discovered easily was news to him. Marinette continued, "You're not exactly sneaky about it, you know. It was very obvious. Who do you think was covering up for you?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Bruce asked.

She sighed. "I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I wanted to help you from the sidelines like Alfred does and I thought you'd fire me if you knew that I knew."

By the look on his face, he was probably doing a quick flashback to all the times she messed with him as Batman. Bruce opened his mouth for a reply but she interrupted him. "And before you start suspecting me of doing anything bad, I want to let you know that you can trust me with your secret. If I had any ill intent, I would've acted on it a long time ago."

"It's—it's not that I don't trust you . . . it's—well, what made you break last night?"

Her gaze was glued to the floor. "I called Alfred and he told me where you were. I just . . . uhm, aside from the money he offered, I was really upset. The company prepared so much for the event and I put so much time making sure it was perfect. Then you don't show up."

When she looked up, the sting of guilt was evident in Bruce's eyes.

"I'm not faulting you for trying to fight crime," she added. "I just thought you'd be more responsible with your priorities."

"I'm sorry, Marinette," he said softly. "I didn't mean to disappoint you like that."

"Are you mad at me? For not telling you?"

"Mad—? I . . . I'm just surprised, really. But I should've known better. You helped us escape last night and you treated Jason's injury. I shouldn't be angry for that."

Marinette nodded slowly, satisfied with the apology. "I appreciate what you're doing for Gotham, so I'll make sure to keep you and your family's identities safe." She pulled out an envelope. "On a completely unrelated note, I think it's time I give you this."

Suffice to say, Bruce looked like he went through a storm of emotions whilst reading the piece of paper. "Your resignation letter?" He set it down. "If this is because of last night—"

"Nope, it's not because of last night." She smiled. "I just think it's time for me to look for a different career path. I do love my job right now, but I don't see myself as a PA forever."

Bruce's shoulders sagged. "Where will you go?"

"Hmm, recently Queen Industries sent me a good offer—"

"How much did Ollie offer you?" He sprung from his seat. "I'll pay ten times that!"

"Mr. Wayne," she motioned for him to sit back down. "I really do want to explore other options. I think I can get more experience with another company."

"But you'll need to leave Gotham."

She shook her head. "Mr. Queen allowed me to work remotely from Gotham. I'll be a consultant of sorts for their fashion department."

"But . . . but . . ."

"I'll be leaving in about a week. Don't worry, I'll make sure everything's in order for your next PA."

He's really sulking, Marinette observed. I feel a little bad . . .

"Any chance I can still adopt you?"

"Mr. Wayne."

"Fine." He raked a hand through his hair. "Then, will you at least join our family brunch this weekend? As a last 'thank you' to you."

Marinette thought for a moment, remembering a similar invitation from Alfred that Damian relayed earlier. "Sure, I'd love to go."

***

"Are you sure about this?"

Marinette checked her reflection on her phone. They arrived pretty early, but that meant she could help Alfred out for the food prep. Damian parked the car right in front of the manor. "Why? I already submitted my resignation."

"You were forced to quit your job because of me."

"I chose to resign not only because of you, but also because I did want to take Oliver's offer." She reached over to squeeze his hand. "If I stay as your father's assistant, there will always be a professional boundary I can't cross regardless of what's in the contract. You'll always be my boss' son, and I’ll just be your father's assistant. Without that now, I can actually act freely around you. I can even help with vigilante stuff if you need me."

He squeezed back. "Are you not worried about what people will say?"

The headlines flickered in Marinette's head: Bruce Wayne's former PA nabs the billionaire's son.

"Are you?"

"No. I couldn't care less."

"Then I'm not." She beamed. "I've already seen how harsh the media can be. If all goes to shit, we sue the hell out of them."

"Father will be devastated when he finds out."

She shrugged. "He should've seen this coming, honestly."

"Hmm."

"Why?"

"When I marry you, he will have the satisfaction of having you as his daughter however."

"M—marry?" Marinette squeaked. "You're already thinking about marriage?"

"Is that bad?"

"No . . . wait, sorry I was just caught off guard." Her chest fluttered at the thought of their future. "Of course Damian, I'd love to marry you someday."

A small smile played at Damian's lips, the subtle kind that she loved so much. "Now that you're not bound by contract, does that mean I can kiss you anytime I want?"

Marinette answered him with her lips, softly kissing him as his hand lifted to hold her cheek. They parted for a second before he started peppering kisses on the corner of her lips, on her nose and her forehead. She pressed a long kiss on his cheek in return.

"It looks like we won't need to break the news to Father anymore."

"What?"

When Marinette turned around, Bruce was just at the front steps of the manor, disheveled and clad in pajamas and an old bathrobe, plus Robin-themed fuzzy slippers. At his feet laid pieces of a shattered mug, which he had seemingly dropped out of shock.

Marinette laughed. "Oops."

She pressed the button to roll her window down and waved at the dumbstruck Bruce Wayne. "Morning, Bruce! Cute slippers!" 

End AN: That wraps up NMWYCAM! Thank you for reading, commenting and kudos-ing this fic; I didn't expect it to blow up this much😮 If you want to know about my next upcoming fic, check out this poll of mine in Tumblr🙂

[msookyspooky]

"Bo started the town and lied! It's so obvious he did it all!"

(If yall don't stop babygirling my man Vincent)

Bo and Vince are equally traumatized and equally fucked up in different ways.

Bo never received love or affection without the threat of what would happen if he wasn't good, any negativity was met with harsh punishment and he clearly was troubled at a young age with no help, called a monster as a tiny boy, has physical scars from it he has to see daily, still seems to hold his mother in good regards (Especially script Bo) but subconsciously takes his mommy issues and need for control out on bound women to both re-live his childhood trauma and to possibly get both love and revenge on his mother through women (No excuse obvi just pointing it out WHY I think he does it).

Vincent was encouraged to cover his face and wear a mask even at home, his deformed face was the main focus and his parent's did nothing to make him feel like he deserved normalcy (Mama said your talent would make up for what God took from you), watched his brother be abused and probably had Bo resenting him for it and he might resent Bo for being the problem child ruining their childhood, was groomed to follow in his mother's footsteps, has little to no communication to anyone but Bo (Maybe Lester) and is probably a perfectionist that needs control as well from the pressure of being the Golden Child to his Mother and was the one that waxed her corpse.

So idk WHY we all think Bo was the only one that could've started the town's wax corpse thing??? Yeah he is an arrogant blow hole that loves manipulating people but the entire movie he might as well be the ringleader that's just talking to the audience and suckering people in but Vincent is the one really doing most of the heavy lifting behind the scenes. Yes, that could be Bo manipulating him and making him do it all or it could be them as a team (I vote this one) and Bo is just obviously more inviting or it could be Vincent doing it all and Bo is just helping to reap the rewards of helpless women at his disposal and getting out pent up rage on people.

It could've been Bo looking for an opportunity to finally take out his sadistic rage

It could've been Vincent who did it in severe grief over his Mother aka the Handler that made him codependent on her and is just as twisted as his twin

IT COULD'VE BEEN TRUDY/THEIR MOTHER! Just because Bo lied to Carly; who says he's lying to Vince??? Seriously, Trudy was a shitty Mom and a bit nuts herself if you ask me strapping their fucking child down till he bleeds or making their kid a wax mask to cover their face even at home so who is to say in her final years she wasn't the one that did this??? (Not counting the script that heavily hints Bo killed both his parents after years of abuse but still didn't say WHO waxed the corpses first)

I accept all HC but it would not shock me if Bo convinced Vincent to do it after preserving Trudy...If Trudy did it and they really are trying to make their Mother proud...Or if Vincent in his grief waxed Trudy's body in memory of her but also waxed a person as revenge/spite and Bo being the guy he is went with it.

[kit-williams]

Aishite Aishite Aishite (alternative)

So I decided I wanted to write an alternative to the other one so that people who were kinda skived out could enjoy it as 1) I don't want to have to fully make another Salamander and 2) I kinda wanted to make it more general.

tw: Dubcon/noncon, oral, Yandere Salamander

Nubin Orenn

Bev To'ken: female, grey eyes, silvery hair

Bev couldn't take it anymore. She was tired of living under Brother Orenn's rules and they were getting more and more unreasonable. She thought it was cruel to make her of all people be assigned to him. She was young and still in a marrying age and originally it was fine with Nubin that she was looking for a man but then he grew... aggressive with anyone she brought back home. Well she was staying in the older Astarte's home so it was understandable and she relented but now she was at the point she was touch and sex starved that she was high strung. She was finally done.

Nubin Orenn was an old Space Marine... he was well into his 700s and when a man gets to be that old... he develops a few quirks. Not unlike a dreadnaught with their quirks such as how he is on and off the battlefield... he is a dragon through and through. A violent raging thing that hoards what it hoards so closely and tightly that it might end up killing what it hoards... he hoards family... he hoards memories... he hoards people in a twisted sense. He needs the balance... he needs to have someone to help ground him back to being friendly... to being sweet... to being like a warm fire on a cold night... something to gather around with friends... something to lure people closer so he won't feel alone. Nubin loves people... regardless of if you meet him on the field and you cross into his heated and passionate gaze or off the field and you cross his warm and loving gaze. But he had Bev to keep him grounded.... right?

Bev sighs and runs her fingers through some of her silvery hair as he just looks down into his bowl... his ruby red eyes seemingly were trying to find an answer to her in the broth, "Nubin. I cannot do this any more. Your rules have become utterly unreasonable and I don't want to just be stuck in your home no longer living my life!" She shrieked at him and breathing heavily as she let out so much pent up anger, "Yes this is an honor but I still have a life to live Nubin! Let me live my life!"

His ruby eyes looked over at her... this stranger living in his home... a substitute family... a person for him to feel like he was taking care of... to be a good man to feel like he was providing for someone. But, here she was mad at him... no longer wanting to be taken care of... always uncomfortable... not seeing it as an honor and more of a hinderance. "I'm going to go pack some of my things tonight Nubin. I'm not staying here." He listened to the chair scrape on the floor as he listened to the steps heading to her room.

Why are you letting another person leave your life?! His nails dug into the wood of the table. As the Dragon in his mind started to rouse and stir as he was the sweet Nubin not the draconic predator. He had to resist its call but the fiery and passionate creature he always was rumbles awake and with it being awake things start to make... sense. If Bev wanted a man to look at her how she desired... then what was stopping him? Nubin feels his chest rumble in the approximation of a purr.

Bev comes back with a bag slung over her shoulder. She stops and walks back to the table to at least apologize and hope he wasn't mad... he was still a Space Marine. "Nubin..." Is all she says before pausing and the hair on the back of her neck stands up. Nothing's changed but something has... something is wrong... something is very wrong... the air felt heavy. When he looked at her gone was the soft tender gaze of Nubin and there was something else there... a gaze that looked at her like a piece of flesh. She watched his tongue pause on his canines.

"Yes Bev." He purred out with an enjoyment she hadn't heard before.

She nervously swallowed as she soon had a white knuckle grip on her bag, "I'm... I'm going to go."

"Is that right?" He cocked his head to the side before standing up causing her to jump.

"N-Nubin." She started trying to appease him but doesn't expect the reaction from him.

The deep groan from his chest, the way he bites his bottom lip, and the utter lust in his eyes, "Yeah call me that again." Her eyes follow a hand and she can feel her face heat up as Nubin starts to palm his crotch.

She ran and that excited him, she hardly made it out into the dark night before she found herself dragged into the shared home once more. Bev felt her back thud against the wood of the table the shattering of the bowls and cups as her grey eyes snap open looking up into the glowing red eyes. This wasn't the darling "Nubin" she was forced to try to appease this was a completely different man over her. Her throat tightened as his hands firmly rested on her hips. Bev realized her legs were around his waist as she became very aware of the throbbing against her core. "D-don't look at me like that." She softly pleaded her voice surprising her with how quietly she whispered it.

She watched his pink tongue flick out and move against the charcoal skin of his lips. The look in his eyes... was how she wished to be looked at. Bev blinked in horror at her thoughts as she was confused and frustrated. She could see his teeth, sharp and dangerous, flash into a seductive grin as he growled out, "But I can smell what it is doing to you... how excited you are."

"Stop it!" Bev shouts slapping him hard feeling her heart rush as those red eyes look down at her as her hand stings from the slap.

The table groaned as he leaned in snarling, "You didn't deny it little spark," He pants out lost in his delusions, "Let this big dragon help you." He pants out again letting his tongue out as it seems like the air that leaves him is utterly hot.

Bev feels and hears something tear and she lifts her head feeling the cool air and Nubin's hot breath against her sex. He has been forcibly ignoring the scent of a female in his home for so long it feels good to finally have it. He hooks his foot around the leg of his chair pulling it closer as he gently kisses the lips of her sex and watches the way Bev's walls clench around nothing. Nubin lifted his robes up over his lap before he sat down and grabbed his cock tightly.

With one hand holding Bev still and the other holding his cock he pushed his tongue into her sex feeling her shiver and try to drown a moan. "Yeah is this what you needed? Someone to take care of your pretty pussy?" The Dragon purrs, "Yes just keep moaning dear... let me hear all those pretty noises." He says starting to fist his cock.

His slow languid strokes of his tongue quickly turn as he pushes his face between her legs with his tongue deep in Bev's cunt as if he was making out with her. Her body bucking and squirming as her attempt to resist quickly falls apart and he soon has her screaming and moaning in pleasure. Hands covering her face as this was what she wanted... to be seen as a woman and not just as a companion to an unstable space marine... but not like this.

Her face was flushed as she was screaming in pleasure as Nubin had slick smeared on his face as he was panting and puffing hard against her cunt as she practically humped his face just moaning in some twisted pleasure. Till she finally came on his face and he strangled his cock to resist cuming right then and there. She laid sprawled on the table just groaning feeling weak. Bev felt her eyes bulge at the sight of the obsidian dragon between Nubin's legs. He just grinned down at her as he still held her leg.

"I'm not going to fuck you on the table like a whore. No no dearest little spark you deserve to be fucked in my bed." He picked her up as he palmed her ass and had Bev grinding against his cock as he slowly walked to his room. His eyes held a dark look in them, "Oh Bev... thank you for yelling at me. You know I needed to be 'put in my place' so to speak... I just needed the sleeping dragon half of myself to wake up... so walking might be hard for a few days but," He poked her nose for a moment as his voice dropped an octave and the air seemed to vibrate around him as Bev realized she was trapped, "don't you worry... your dragon is here."

taglist @bispecsual @egrets-not-regrets @moodymisty

[the-land-of-dreams]

Could i know more about manny please?

HIIIIIIII HI MAGGIE IM SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO ANSWER

Manuel Veniamin McCoy is the oldest of the McCoy siblings and current o5-6 (in my headcanon universe. of course.) Prior to his current position, he was an MTF agent that specialized in stealth and infiltration missions, before later being promoted to the Red Right Hand.

Manuel has the anomalous ability to teleport to any location through any threshold (doors, windows, tunnels, even something like a closet can work), so long as he has seen the location before. Following a near-death experience as a young adult, which his younger brother, Thomas, barely saved him from, he lost pigment in his skin, eyes, and hair, and several of his biological processes got fucked up in ways that have various effects but the most drastic one is that his aging is irregular and significantly slower.

Manuel is a reserved man, a quiet, kind of imposing presence. He's calculated, but that doesn't mean he's exactly, uh, put together. I think he's got a lot of pent-up rage and fear that comes out as this kind of quiet, indignant anger. Despite his power, I think he's always been a coward when it counts, guy who is an expert in running away from his fucking problems. (auhaugaugaua there's more but I will talk about it more later, blasts you with hearts)

[bangtthedoldrums]

life update?

July is almost over, i think these days i'm seeing glimpses of light at the end of the 27 tunnel. why am i writing all these on tumblr, you may wonder? i'm attention-seeking, i seek attention, i fear.

(let's bffr, whose attention am i seeking when i literally have <5 followers here haha, what a melodramatic bitch)

these days i'm feeling relatively stable. i'm laughing a lot, i'm smiling a lot. i mean i was already starting to, then the whole Kamala effect kicked off and i find myself laughing at dumbass things - nothing's ever that serious lol

the astrology people on twitter were not kidding about Saturn's return. 27 has been so fucking difficult, i can see why Club 27 even exists in the first place.

i wouldn't say i was "fighting" the last few months, "fighting" to stay alive? nah. some of my friends know i'm absolutely not "fighting" in any way. i'm glad i hung around i guess?

Sufjan, you're undeniably talking to yourself in this track. i would like to answer your question if that's okay. i probably wouldn't a few months ago, but yes, now i do care if i survive this.

oh god it's finally happening i guess. the time to get over a relationship is half the time it lasted. the timeline fits i guess.

"I'm frightened of the end, I'm drowning in my self-defense" and "Think of me as what you will, I grow like a cancer" sound about right.

"Did I cross you? Did I fail to believe in positive thoughts? Our romantic second chance is dead, I buried it with the hatchet"

"If I get a little prettier, can I be your baby? You tell me, 'Life isn't that hard' " yeah. sounds about right.

the season of pain and hopelessness has passed, and with resignation and acceptance comes revelation. and that revelation is that it's over.

okay. enough about that for now. please allow me to ramble on about things that have been in my head the last few days (or last few months haha).

the first thing - i'm not sure if i'm delulu or what, but please go with me here. these days i stare into the mirror, and my face looks like it's in the process of chiseling itself out. i can see my cheekbones. my cheeks look hollower. (but that could be an illusion? from the shadow of the temple of my glasses casted on my cheeks.)

i don't know if that is part of ageing. or if i lost weight. or if i'm sick. i feel fine though. but i would not be surprised if i secretly had lung cancer all these time from all those years of cigarettes smoking, and now vaping. who knows! i look hot so whatever.

the second thing - i've been listening to chappell roan a lot the last few months, just about the time i noped out of social media lol.

i've been returning to my punk/alternative/rock roots lately. i have too much pent-up rage lately methinks. rage from grief, rage from injustice, rage from.......... actually these two are mainly it. i can't really think of anything right now.

the third thing - penn badgley is so hot. haha. as a sapphic (mostly) no man has ever made me feel anything except penn badgley. not that joe goldberg persona though, it's dan humphrey and woodchuck todd. okay fine, there were. but i would like to mention penn badgley for now 😀

the fourth thing - i've been feeling a lot more social lately. being social online helps. talking to people helps. making plans with friends whom i love, trust, and respect helps.

i wonder if i wasted all these time isolating myself. maybe i'd be better quicker. or i'd lash out for no good reason. we'll never know. i guess it also helps when the trigger of my fight or flight isn't living down the hallway anymore?

the fifth thing - i find myself funny again. not like "i'm insulting someone for shits and giggles" funny. like i could make jokes again. like my humour is back. i scrolled through my reddit account a few days back and i don't even remember most of the comments i've made with that account. i used to be so funny and quick-witted. it's all coming back slowly so i'm glad 😄

okay folks, that's all for now. i've disappeared for a while but i'm back. thank you for your patience and understanding.

27's almost over. i don't know if i "can't wait for it to be over." i don't really feel anything about getting older. i'm literally still a baby when it comes to my prefrontal cortex. or a toddler if you're particular. i guess anything can still happen from now till September, the universe's always listening !!! 😀

why the tell-all now, girl? who knows! maybe i wna start documenting stuff again. i don't remember things from the last 8 to 9 months. with everything else that went on in my head i'm surprised that i lasted this long.

maybe i wna be honest.

"Come one, come all, I'll tell you my secrets. I'm kinda like a prettier Jesus"

this must be what Lorde feels when she wrote Solar Power

[fave-fight]

ROUND 2, MATCH 42

NO MAGIC, POWERS, WEAPONS, OR ADDITIONAL HELP FROM OTHERS

Duck Newton:

“he's just some middle-aged park ranger, he had magic powers, he lost them and immediately failed to cope with his newfound mortality and Subpar average human strength, he will lose and it will be funny”

“oh he will get his ass Destroyed”

Kaz Brekker:

“brilliant criminal mastermind. canoncially took down a group of twenty or so gang members with only a cane. excellent at playing mind tricks on people.”

“He’s the most ruthless bastard the world has ever seen, is filled with pent-up rage, and can easily ass-kick whole groups in a fight. And as added bonus, he looks great covered in blood.”

“He’s a gang leader known to have ripped a man’s eye out once for his greatest investment. Has a limp due to a long ago broken leg, but it isn’t treated as a weakness. He uses it as a distraction to get the upper hand. Fought his whole gang on a staircase and won.”

[dusty-pistol]

Rant time!!!

I'm so sick and tired of people hatin on CG5 just cuz he had a few songs that weren't good. "Don't let CG5 make a Murder Drones song he'll only ruin it!!!" Bitch this man has been makin fan songs FOR YEARS. SHUT UUUPPPPP!!!!!!! Just because he had a few that were cringe meme songs or some that just weren't good does NOT give yall the right to give that man DEATH THREATS over SONGS.

That bein said, this goes for any content creator that's just doin their business without harmin anyone. Like if it turns out they're a fetus fiddler then yeah, go right ahead and tell them they're not wanted anywhere. But if they're not doin anythin wrong then just leave them alone. The block button exists for a reason.

I'm just convinced people in this day and age need somethin to hate. They have so much pent up rage because they hate their lives and themselves that all they do is waste their time hatin. It's all they know, and it's all they'll ever know if they don't take a step in the right direction and at least TRY to enjoy life. The change starts with YOU, bud. Not other people.

[kingwithpaintedfingers]

As promised!! My recommendations for Warhammer 40k reading

So, rayshell22live asked me what I thought GW was doing wrong vis a vis Warhammer 40k, and I responded with a rant about Black Library instead.

Oops. (Listen, a lot of this is pent up...)

But! I promised (myself) I would list my favorite stuff I've read from Warhammer 40k. For ease of access, I have divided it into several categories.

XENOS

There are not enough stories about Xenos. And apparently a lot of them aren't good. But here are a couple I read and liked!

The Infinite and the Divine by Robert Rath: Everyone recommends this, and for good reason. Fun, sometimes lighthearted, sometimes deep, it's the story of two old robots who hate each other but are forced to work together. It's a tale of two opposing forces, the past and the future, and what they both could mean for the present of the Necron race. Come for the dinosaurs and enemies-to-friends, stay for the old man fights and pranks gone horribly wrong.

War in the Museum by Robert Rath: Basically a deleted scene from The Infinite and the Divine. A short story.

Brutal Kunnin' by Mike Brooks: Orks vs. Tech Priests. Turned out to have way more humans than I would have liked, but still fun! Includes some hell-yeah moments and very quotable lines AND includes TWO non-binary characters! Very nice. Introduces two heroes for the ages: Ufthak Blackhawk, and his squig. The best squig.

Road Rage and Where Dere's Da Warp Dere's a Way by Mike Brooks: More Ufthak shenanigans! Both short stories.

Da Gobbo's Revenge by Mike Brooks: A Grot, tired of being abused by Orks, takes up the role of the ancient Grot hero Da Red Gobbo and begins a revolution. A novella, not long but fun.

The Hand of Darkness by Gav Thorpe: A lovely audio drama about Yvraine, the last hope of the Aeldari, on a mad quest to deprive Chaos of a dangerous asset. (Or, when I want to pretend to be bitter, "Rob's Not Actually Girlfriend (Seriously, She's Just An Ally) Breaks Into Mort's Basement and Ruins the Only Piece of Art He's Ever Made" It is a fantastically emo piece of art, I can't believe I've never referenced it in a fanfic before.) It's a good audio drama, I like it!

The Child Foretold by Nicholas Kaufmann: This one. This one is so. So freaking. GOOD. I just. It's so good??? A man adopts a baby. He has no idea what he's gotten himself into. Warning, it's also from Warhammer Horror.

And, recommended by friends, though I haven't read them yet:

The Twice-Dead King by Nate Crowley: A series of novels about a Necron phaeron trying to save his dynasty. Supposed to be really good, if less humorous than The Infinite and the Divine.

Day of Ascension by Adrian Tchaikovsky. Supposed to be a really good sci-fi novel all around, it tells the tale of a genestealer uprising.

THE CIAPHAS CAIN SERIES by Sandy Mitchell

Listen, you're either going to love this series, or you're going to hate it. Most people can get over the stylistic choices (seriously, there are a lot of phrases that are repeated over and over and over and over and over again by the author), but others find those phrases grating after a while. Give the series a try (personally I think the series gets really good with the second and third books) and decide for yourself. If you like it, you're in good company, and if you don't, that's okay, you're still in good company. Personal highlights for me include The Traitor's Hand, Death or Glory, Cain's Last Stand, the audio drama Dead in the Water, and the novella Good Soldiers Never Die.

BOOKS THAT MENTION MORTARION

There is probably at least one person out there who wants to know what books I recommend for the way I write him. So I included this in its own section.

The Buried Dagger by James Swallow: my first Horus Heresy novel, and the last one before the Siege. Aka "Oh Fuck, We Forgot to Give Mortarion an Actual Personality and Now He Needs to Do Some Emotional Heavy Lifting." And let me just say, Swallow knocks it out the fucking park on this one. I cried. Then I found out he's not written like this in almost ANY other story, even ones by James Swallow, and I cried even more. Do yourself a favor, pick up the audio book, because the way Jonathon Keebler says "I know" in Interval Two is heartbreaking.

"Lantern's Light" by James Swallow: A lot of BL books have what I like to call a "companion short story" that goes with it. This is the one for Mortarion's half of The Buried Dagger. It elaborates Mort's relationship with the Emperor and why it's so bad (hint: it has nothing to do with the Emperor killing his adopted dad).

Unification by Chris Wraight: One of Mortarion's sons reflects on why he follows Mortarion into battle. A companion short story to The Lords of Silence (see below).

Mortarion Pale King of Barbarus and Verdict of the Scythe by David Annandale: While I wish they had gone more in-depth with his character, they both provide us with some intriguing details into how Mortarion wages war in the Great Crusade, and why he does it in the way he does. As well as what his brothers think of him, and how that weighs on him and his actions (a lot more than he's willing to admit).

The above are really good for Mortarion as his own character, and the tragic protagonist of his own story.

Scars, the Path of Heaven, and Warhawk by Chris Wraight: Whereas these stories are good at depicting Mortarion as his own villainous character. Most stories twist and turn Mortarion's personality to depict him as the Jungian shadow of whatever character is the protagonist of this series. Not so the Jaghatai Khan trilogy. Here he is still (mostly) recognizable as the same character as the Buried Dagger's Mortarion, but now he's a villain. Kind of. He's not the main villain of the first two books, but he kind of is for the third one? He doesn't show up often, but it's interesting when he does.

Daemonology by Chris Wraight: There's only one paragraph from his perspective, and it's the last paragraph of the story. Regardless, it provides us with a rare look at how people weaker than Mortarion who aren't on his good side see him. And it shows us that, like the witches and sorcerers he hates, Mortarion has more brains than sense.

Honorable mentions:

Grandfather's Gift by Guy Haley, because Mortarion enjoys a garden in it and it mentions how much pain Mortarion's transformation is (also, he's mostly naked for most of it, make of that what you will). Flight of the Eisenstein by James Swallow has one or two good scenes with Mortarion, but he's barely in it.

HORUS HERESY AND PRIMARCHS

Saturnine by Dan Abnett: Some people hated it, some people loved it, personally I'm in the Loved It camp? It had some memorable moments and some interesting battles! On the other hand, if you're a Fulgrim fan, skip it, it does him no favors. If you're a Perturabo fan, give it a try! He gets some great Only Sane Man moments (and a shirtless scene. That's not important, but it's there.)

Magnus the Red Master of Prospero by Graham McNeill: It's a Magnus book, but it's a fuckin' banger for Perturabo. Good stuff. Petition to have McNeill write all the Perturabo stuff? Just...not the War of Rust, please.

Lorgar Bearer of the Word by Gav Thorpe: Holy shit, did Lorgar not have a happy childhood. Depicts him very sympathetically!

Fulgrim the Palatine Phoenix by Josh Reynolds and Ferrus Manus Gorgon of Medusa by David Guymer: Both of these go on the list for having scenes that live rent-free in my head, most of them involving either Fulgrim or one of Fulgrim's sons. Josh Reynolds is a really good writer in general, though I think he might be the one who doesn't write for GW/BL anymore.

A Lesson in Darkness by Ian St. Martin: Creepy, serial killer fun starring Konrad Curze doing creepy, fucked-up Night Haunter shit. An Audio Drama.

Angron Slave of Nuceria by Ian St. Martin: a grim look at Angron's backstory, and how the suffering he experienced in his past doomed his entire legion. There's a companion short story called "Ghosts of Nuceria," but I'm saving that one for when I really, really need to cry as if the world is ending, so I haven't read it yet. I've read part of it already and man. Man.

OTHERS FROM 40K

The Lords of Silence by Chris Wraight: Generally agreed to be one of the best Chaos Space Marine novels, it follows the story of a warband of Death Guard, the titular Lords of Silence, as they wage war and have existential crises. Introspective and philosophical at times, and always careful to make everyone a well-rounded character, has mystery elements. The story is told out of order and in the present tense, so if those are dealbreakers for you, you'll have to sit them out. also includes a great scene with Mortarion okay thanks bye

The Way Out by Rachel Harrison: part of the Black Library's Warhammer Horror line, it's an audio drama that will keep you guessing until the end. Spooky and creepy and mysterious.

A couple more honorable mentions to round things out. The following all have scenes that live rent-free in my mind, all are either short stories or novels from Warhammer Horror, all take place in 40k:

The Deacon of Wounds by David Annandale; The Bookkeeper's Skull by Justin D. Hill; Imperator Gladio by Richard Strachan.

AND A FEW FROM AGE OF SIGMAR Not very many, though, because I haven't read very many...

Hallowed Knights: Plague Garden by Josh Reynolds: the only AoS novel I've ever read. Loved it. If Torgun dies, I'll fucking riot. Part of a series that may have been stopped, sadly.

The Vintage by David Annandale: a Warhammer Horror short story I hated the first time, loved the second time. Got a really killer premise, pun not intended. From that one year where Games Workshop decided that all of the Warhammer Horror Week stories would be about vampires.

Anyway, some of the stuff I enjoyed.

[strawberryblondebutch]

Back by unpopular demand, it's my top albums of 2023! While 2022 suffered a dearth of good artists that made it impossible to cobble together a top 10, I struggled this year to whittle my 50(!!)-album shortlist down to my top.

Same rules as always: everything on this list is a full-length album (no EPs) of largely previously unreleased material (no reissues, no cover albums, no Taylor's Version) arranged in an intentional manner (no B-sides or rarities albums). Now, behold!

10. DOG PARK DISSIDENTS - THE PINK AND BLACK ALBUM

I hope I'm not the only punk frustrated with the decline of queer rage in the music scene. Everyone's sad and no one is angry. If you're sick of being well-behaved, this is the album for you. I've been a Dog Park Dissidents fan for years now, and I'm thrilled to see them put out an LP, especially one as great as this one.

9. SINCERE ENGINEER - CHEAP GRILLS

Something everyone needs to know about me: I love a girlflop. There is nothing more endearing than an absolute disaster of a woman, and no one is flopping through life quite like Deanna Belos. Her third album brings her scratchy-voiced brashness into her early 30s, and as much as I hope for an end to her crisis, at least she has a good soundtrack going.

8. ALL GET OUT - ALL GET OUT

Wouldn't it be easy if I didn't listen to any albums? If I just put my favorite bands in the top ten and said "that's enough hard work, I think"? Well, I don't, because sometimes there's a surprise. All Get Out has frustrated me for a while, as their Southern-fried brand of rock and roll is something I should like, but they never seemed to put it all together... until now.

7. BLONDSHELL - BLONDSHELL

Sabrina Mae Teitelbaum showed up at the eleventh hour to wreck my rankings. I was unaware of Blondshell until they opened for Liz Phair a month ago, and I was intrigued enough to follow up and listen to her debut. Her stage presence needs some work -- unlike, say, Foxing's latest album, which I learned to love once I heard it live, I think Blondshell is better recorded -- but if this is her first effort, I can't wait to see what she does next.

6. ZZ WARD - DIRTY SHINE

2023 was the year of blues rock artists going independent, and their music was all the better for it. The Record Company was a late cut for my honorable mentions, but ZZ takes the sixth spot here. There was a lot riding on Dirty Shine: she was independent and had been mostly silent since the pandemic. With some of the tightest production I've seen this year, she hasn't missed a step.

5. QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE - IN TIMES NEW ROMAN...

Talk about someone who's been through the wringer since their last album. Josh Homme battled cancer, alcoholism, and a bitter divorce, and his band's latest release is one of pent-up rage. It bears strong shades of 2007's Era Vulgaris, which was divisive in its own time, and as a result, some might hate In Times New Roman... for its looser, crunchier sound. For me? It's exactly what I like to hear.

4. SPANISH LOVE SONGS - NO JOY

I have a confession: I'm a terrible album reviewer. It takes me weeks or months to listen to something new, even for my favorite artists, like Spanish Love Songs. I didn't get around to No Joy until just before I went to see SPL open for Hot Mulligan, at which point I felt like the time had come. This album was an acquired taste, smoother and more polished than 2020's Brave Faces, Everyone, but like Frightened Rabbit's 2016 Painting of a Panic Attack, the sparser sound lets you focus on what Dylan et al. are trying to say, and you can soon tell No Joy is an album that needed to come out for his own sake.

3. HEART ATTACK MAN - FREAK OF NATURE

Speaking of "late on the draw," behold Heart Attack Man, a band I should have loved... if I ever got around to listening to them. They hang around all the same scenes my other favorite bands do (in fact, Hot Mulligan also brought them along on their most recent tour), and yet I never got around to exploring them until this June, when they played in Philly for $20 tickets. Good thing my impulses won out, because this album is what punk should be (and something it's been sorely missing).

2. HOT MULLIGAN - WHY WOULD I WATCH?

After shouting them out in the last two entries, I have to give Hot Mulligan their flowers. They're a strange band, having more in common with Dance Gavin Dance than, say, The Wonder Years. It's progressive post-hardcore for Midwest emos, and although the individual songs on Why Would I Watch? are on par with any individual song from a previous release, they do something here that elevates them above their other work: put out an album, rather than a collection of songs.

1. FIREWORKS - HIGHER LONELY POWER

It was always going to be Fireworks. They released this album on January 1 after a long hiatus, giving me an entire year to have this LP rattle in my brain and linger in my bones. Higher Lonely Power combines several trends found on the rest of this list -- a new sound that needed to grow on me, a need to shake off the rust of a hiatus, a band I took far too long to get to know. They're my favorite band's favorite band for a reason, and Higher Lonely Power is a gorgeous mediation on love, death, and aging. A worthy album of the year if ever there were one.

[yourlocaltrashpandaxoxo]

Punch Out Men's Bracket OCs! (Minor Circuit)

THE BOYS ARE BACK BABY! And they've had quite the makeover! Name: Debi Downpour/Ame Tanaka

Age: 22 Height: 5'11 Weight: 141lbs Nationality: Japanese-American Position: #3 Minor Circuit Record: 4-17 (2 KO) Stance: Orthodox (Right-Handed) "Whether it's a mild drizzle or a full on torrential flooding, Debi Downpour may only be wallowing at the bottom of the stack but he's still packing some decent skills underneath that seemingly docile and dreamy demeanour of his! When he isn't boxing, he's studying up on weather with dreams of being a meteorologist when he retires."

Name: Button Masher/Kris Einarsson Age: 25 Height: 6' Weight: 161lbs Nationality: Icelandic Position: #2 Minor Circuit Record: 6-14 (3 KO) Stance: Orthodox (Right-Handed) "This aloof young man isn't much for talking or any 'IRL' interaction with people but online? He has quite the title to his name! Both a successful pro gamer and a talented computer hacker, he's a mega-geek who loves all things tech and nerdy. Why is he in the boxing ring, you ask? Well, he needed a way to vent his pent-up gamer rage WITHOUT destroying his expensive consoles." Name: Bugsy Bluebottle/Jamie Fujita Age: 24 Height: 5'9 Weight: 145lbs Nationality: Japanese-American Position: #1 Minor Circuit Record: 8-10 (4 KO) Stance: Southpaw (Left-Handed) "Ever the curious and free-spirited soul, young Jamie has always had a love for creepy-crawlies. Hell, he even dedicates his boxing name to a type of bug! His original career in mind was as an entomologist but until he achieves that dream? He's happy showing off the brilliance of bugs in his fighting style! Unfortunately, most of his matches have often been cancelled due to the chaos that ensues when he releases his buggy buddies..." Name: Meatball/Charlie Jung Age: 26 Height: 5'11 Weight: 186lbs Nationality: Korean-Canadian Position: Minor Circuit Champion Record: 10-9 (7 KO) Stance: Orthodox (Right-Handed) "Don't be fooled by Charlie's seemingly cuddly teddy-bear like looks and goofy personality, he's still got plenty of boxing spirit inside of him! He adores meat and is frequently seen snacking on it whenever he can. Keep your eyes on him in the ring or you'll find yourself smacked over the head with a chicken leg and tenderized like a steak. Mmmh... steak..."

[everythingispirates]

truly obsessed with the fact that the first thing Will does when the pirates attack is go out and huck an axe square into a man’s back

the thing that people need to understand about will is that he has so much pent up frustration of both the sexual and regular variety he is treated horribly by absolutely everyone except for the lady who very clearly wants to fuck him silly except he can't do anything about that because SOCIETY is making life difficult for him SOCIETY literally keeps him down and so basically there is so much unbridled rage in will and even when things get better for him like even after he finally gets to have hot beach sex with his epic wife and SOCIETY can't get to him anymore that will still be extremely fundamental to who he is as a person because his brain learned to develop a certain amount of base level of pure burning anger at a very formative age and he has to take it out on random people when he can get any sort of excuse

[floralparadise]

─•~❉𖥸❉~•─

||Part one||

||Headcanons||

Hasu headcanons cause I have nothing better to do but write random things to progress my character. Should I do a how she feels about everyone post? I mean, I suppose it'd help with interactions. Nobody has to follow those, though, as I love organic things.

She is very observant and tends to pick how she responds to people on how they act toward her. Let's say you're a man flirting with her - that simply will not do. She will mess with you until you want to strangle her. If it's too aggressive in dominance, she will only get worse with her mocking and picking.

Serious people get a calmer approach from her as she tries to ease into comfortable conversations, not crossing boundaries extremely. She's a very...Give me what you will and I'll give you it back kind of person. The best interactions she provides are usually with women as she sees them more as equals than threats and knows how traditional aspects have stripped women of their inner power. Mother Nature is feminine to her. She is only silly with people she likes if she thinks they can handle it.

Since she comes from a noble/royal background on occasion, you'll see her revert to the mannerisms of such things. But only because it was practically beaten into her at such a young age. Despite her free spirit, she can't seem to break the occasional behavior and doesn't even realise when she does it.

Nature, flowers, etc. Is her true love, and Hasu doesn't even know what love is or feels like. She understands emotions and care but has never been given the correct subject matter, which is love, as her parents practically ignored her while a servant took care of her named Ema.

Ema was kind of crazy though in the sense of what she had thought. She never harmed Hasu, no, but she did put interesting ideas in her head when she was a child. Ema was probably the only person Hasu trusted among those she lived with since Ema gave her anything she wanted except the key factor Ema wasn't allowed to give Hasu affection as Hasu's father thought it may have made Hasu too soft when she was supposed to be groomed into a "perfect wife."

Hasu can not stand royal fabrics. She can not stand luxury and would rather be poor and on the streets living among those in need.

She often thinks about how demons are no better than humans in the sense that there are monstrous intentions in both species as she has met them on both sides of the line. With that being said, without her admitting such things.

She only became a Slayer due to having that absolute need to burn down the traditional aspects of being a woman. She has a secret bloodlust that she tends to keep quiet on the reg with a masked persona due to pent-up rage from what she went through until she had turned demon. Then she kind of just let all Hell loose.

When she became Fiori, the other Hashira thought she had just disappeared or died. They had no idea what had happened to her.

[bottomlessabyssposts]

hello fellow former mlb victim fan

I’m so curious now on what your thoughts on the show are. Like, just in general and also how the romance was handled. If you wanna share 👀

LISTEN. Way too many things and I will end up making this post too long but... I have some pent up frustration so let's just go by seasons (+ some other stuff) THIS IS VERY LONG SO HAVE A NICE READ

S1 : I think s1 was fine overall, though I was absolutely creeped out by Mari's behavior like ??? She's very likable and honestly I enjoy her character most of the time but it's just. Why would you make this 14 years old obsessive ?? As a middle aged man ?? AS A GAG ???? anyways. I think s1 was the only season where I don't have many things to say because 1) it wasn't that bad 2) i don't remember much

S2 : The beginning of my doom, CN is dumbed down more and more by the writers in favor of LB and this is so weird. Adrien isn't dumb, what he is oblivious and unaware of social norms. He spent his life homeschooled. (ALSO may I ask why is his life presented as going down hill when his mom disappeared when he's always been hidden from the world ?? Why is his mom shown as good when he couldn't even go to school and didn't have any friends except Chloé ??? How is she a good mother ??? How did his father change exactly ?? Did he just become colder or ??)

I think the swap kwami episode was in s2 and this is one of my LEAST favorite episodes ; CN's job is perceived as easy compared to LB but i'm sorry can Mari sacrifice herself so easily without any guarantee to come back ?? The heavy burden of the power of destruction and the knowledge that she could KILL someone doesn't bother her ??? This episode just served the purpose to show how LB is just. Much more important than CN and I am SICK of it.

Also uh can we talk real quick about Master Fu ? Dude thought "training" (that apparently happened off screen which is just bad writing) a CHILD to become the next guardian was a good idea ? Mari is a kid with dreams and passions and chaining her down to this duty is just outright cruel. In later seasons we don't even see her make anything ? She is supposed to want to become a fashion designer and now she's stuck stressing over kwamis and a way too complicated task where if she messes up, the world as they know it ends.

ALSO. Just my opinion but. The guardian shouldn't have been Mari. Or Adrien. It should've been a third party, completely unrelated, so no power imbalance would be created between CN and LB. I'm sorry but this is such a huge thing about the show, that has been hammered into our heads, that "destruction and creation must be balanced" and they do that ?? (plus it led to the season i hate the most, s4) The show had the opportunity to introduce another character, or make use of an already introduced one (i.e Luka) and make them a guardian ! Or something ??

s3 was fine, I liked Chat Blanc for the most part (Mari's tresspassing, her sniffing Adrien's pillow... ugh.) and thought it was very very heartbreaking to see Adrien like that, my poor boy cannot catch a break. Also Chloé redemption !! She deserved it, with her abusive mother and all, too bad they decided to burn everything by making her a caricature of herself and introducing the most bland replacement for her ! (A half sister whose existence made NO SENSE ? I thought Chloé's mom didn't like kids ? Plus why would she bother taking her other kid to Paris, and risking her reputation with cheating rumors ???)

Now... Now let's talk about s4... So much happened in this god forsaken season and i'm so, so, so tired and shed so many tears of RAGE. Chat Noir became a sidekick, plain and simple. Not even "just" a sidekick the protagonist would respect, like Robin, but a simple fill-in, a "partner like any other" as LB so amicably put it in Kuro Neko. I feel like the writers wanted to write conflict and all but... it's so badly written and only served to make people hate CN.

Chat's trust was abused so many times (Ephemeral, when he and LB were supposed to show the other their identity but what he didn't know was that Viperion was to know too, instead of just... explaining the situation ?), he was kept in the dark many, many times, not only by LadyBug, but also by his Father (interesting parallels) and Fu, all which, somehow, have a position of power over him. He felt replaced, which is entirely valid, because as much as he didn't communicate this, he offered LB his help so many times, and tried to open up, and all these have been either ignored or rejected. (now I'll talk about Mari's side after, but just know that i absolutely do not blame her for being stressed ! I am just critizing her actions which hurt her supposed best friend and partner very deeply) Not to mention Scarabella, whom he never knew the existence of, and could've killed. Chat probably doesn't care much that someone knows her identity, but she never told him, or even considered telling him to find someone to tell, too. I'm sorry but LB has been so strict on these rules but now she doesn't follow them, yet expects Chat to. (also, i'm mad they stripped Chloé of her miraculous because apparently "Hawkmoth knows who she is". Well, Hawkmoth knows who Ryuko is too, as well as Rena, or Viperion. Yet they still have theirs ?)

Chat has no support !! no circle to support him whereas Mari has Alya, even the Kwamis, her parents, and her friends ! Adrien's parents are off the list, Nathalie is way too close to his Father, the Gorille isn't much help, and it's not like he's actually close to anyone if not Nino (their only memorable interaction is in Rocketear in s4). Then, he loses his miraculous and is actually blamed for getting hurt by LB's behavior and reacting harshly (he should yes apologize however) LB has provided NO apologies, instead making Chat feel guilty ?? I remember this episode SO well because I was HOPING for a sweet Ladynoir scene, but NOOOOOOOO. Also this showed how shallow Mari's love for Adrien was -- she's basically in love with his mask, not very different from Kagami "Stop acting like a clown" Tsurugi

I think, however, that showing why Adrigami and Lukanette wouldn't work is a great idea ! Was it greatly handled ? Not really, but it could've been great ! I love Kagami and Luka and I wish for them to be in good hands (mine)

One last thing about Chat, then we'll talk about Mari's side ; I HATE HATE HATE how they ignore his struggles or act as if they do not exist. The creator himself calls Adrien "perfect" and act as if Adrien is totally fine, when the situations the boy is in SHOW how distressing his situation is. Adrien is CANONICALLY shown to : accept death and die, more than once, try to cataclysm himself, eat very little, have weak boundaries and doesn't know how to say 'no', isn't really aware of others' boundaries as well, shut down as soon as his father raises his voice, been hit by his Father (both in normal and Hawkmoth form), still hasn't been able to properly grieve his mother. ALL of this, and none of it has been explored, because the focus is not on him if Mari isn't there. The writers HATE abused kids and I'm not afraid to say it, because s5 spoilers showed how they're (Adrien, Chloé and Kagami) treated and considered by the writers.

Now, onto Mari ! You're heard everything I complained about, now let's hear something else ; I loved seeing her under the pressure and how it affected her, though I find it cruel, it was interesting to see since she learned a lot about herself and other people. Too bad the writers refuse to make characters change, huh. Also, nice that she tries to move on from Adrien ! Still not over the statue thing, but it's refreshing to see her move on, if only for like, three episodes. I wish we could've seen genuinely learn how to treat her partner better, how to not take him for granted. Maybe her resenting Master Fu for putting such a heavy burden on her shoulders ? She's the class president, a full time middle schooler, guardian and super hero, and that's it. She cannot indulge in her hobbies anymore and that sucks, because she deserves to be a kid. The writers obviously want her to be the most important character by pushing every single thing and events on her, even when her presence is not even necessary.

Since Mari is pushed to be the centre of everything, where she shouldn't even be, it means she gets both privilege by the writers, and also pain. It was nice though to have a character I could empathize with and also critisize, though the writers want to make her as lovely as possible.

As for the romance between Mari and Adrien... I stopped wanting them to be together in s4, because truth be told, they're incompatible, and the Universe obviously doesn't like them together either lol. It was so weirdly put in s5, and I stopped watching the show since then, so I don't know much, except for big, big spoilers which make me want to barge in the writers' room and strangle them one by one.

The ship is no longer something I enjoy, for many reasons, and I think they should've ended up with someone else (Adrien realizing he's gay and Marinette kissing Kagami on the lips for example)

Okay and for s5 just know that I hate it.

-> Marinette, of all people, learning who Hawkmoth is and then CHOOSING not to tell Adrien, as well as offering Gabriel to die as a hero, is just horrible. The conscious choice of taking away his agency, ONCE AGAIN, hiding secrets from him, hiding from him the fact that his father, his abuser, is HAWKMOTH is horrible. I wanted the confrontation between him and his father, but NOTHING. Mari got the spotlight and Adrien is nothing more than a bird in a cage I hate the writers.

-> Chloé got disowned by her (incompetent) dad and forced to leave with her Mother. What a way to get rid of the bully ! Giving her to her abusive mother ! Who doesn't know her name, doesn't care about ! As if Chloé didn't cry "why don't you love me, mom ?" ! God.

-> the senti reveal. I hate the senti theory i hate that it's real. They can't fight back, otherwise they can just be erased of existence, and even taking back the amok is useless because what if it breaks ? what if you lost it ? someone steals it ? I hate it so, so, so much, and making abused kids sentihumans is the worst thing ever.