#this one pissed me off a lot . still dont know if i like it

[calcium-chan]

DRAWMEGLE DUMP FROM LIKEFORVER AGO

drawmegle was this weird little website that was like omegle, except for drawing and nominally fewer nazis?? tho at launch that was a bit of an issue lol (idk the creator went on vacation right after advertising or something? oops). i got sucked into it for like a day or two and ended up drawing a bunch of stuff. ive lost some of it because there was this weird glitch that just deleted my drawings before i could save them or anything. OH WELL. thats also the reason some of these are slightly unfinished. im also going to be cropping most of these to just my side, exceptions where its funny, or the other persons art was nice or whatever. just know that these almost all had people on the other side who were also drawing their own thing. also of note, i wont be posting these in order of creation, its mostly arbitrary tbh

this first one is of haru from dorohedodo. i had just finished reading the manga about a month or so prior, and i really loved this character a lot. disregard the amogus or whatever. dorohedoro is really cool and its really special to me now. not a fan of the anime adaption but what the fuck else is new (im sorry if you like the anime, i just didnt like the style very much). Q hayashida is brilliant, and she clearly just really loves women like a lot, thank you miss Q!

next is this silly drawing of knives chau. scott pilgrim takes off had just aired, and i was slightly enamored with knives for a bit, i kin the scott pilgrim girl fucking sue me. i also drew kim, but the drawing deleted and this was the last save i had WAHOOOOOO its so fucking over. scott pilgrim takes off was obviously really really good in my opinion, and its like the perfect way to adapt an original work in my mind. uh shout outs knives or whatever.

oops shitty cowboy bebop drawing. i like this one well enough for how goofy it is. jets fucking face still kinda gets me. i love bebop a ton, but i dont think ive ever drawn the characters despite that. theyre actually a ton of fun to draw, like their shapes are all super varied and they have distinct style about them. very good cast of characters. i didnt even realize or mean to, but i kinda gave spike a fucking granny face, oops

uuuuhthese pissing dogs are really funny, they were fun to draw, and seeing peoples reactions to this one in particular was cool. having even a little bit of ability to draw on sites like this where randos are looking at your work as youre drawing it is always kind of an ego boost. like none of these drawings are really that great, but for the medium im happy with them, and having people show up and go "woah" was always really flattering and it was fun watching the other people draw and interacting with them in some limited capacity.

ggggundam bullshit. i left the other persons side this time because i thought it was kinda funny. i had been rewatching the early part of turn A gundam, and it really reminded me how fucking cool that series is? loran is like top 10 gender non conforming mech pilots (there are a surprising amount honestly). and it always kinda takes me off guard when i watch any gundam because they were just so forward thinking in a nominally "boy" coded genre. shoutouts the fucking gundam staff frfr.

@oretal joined me for these next two!

a lot of the shit in the second drawing is probably totally incomprehensible to like anyone outside of a select group. were both have that like, 3ds era nintendo brain parasite, so a lot of these are just weird obscure game characters or memes, or just straight up OCs. most of these are actually oretals little characters which have kind of entered that inside joke canon of being so ubiquitous between the two of us (and honestly i assume oretals friend group at large) that i kinda forget "glasses girl" isnt a well known character. many such cases. thank you oretal for drawing silly shit with me! i really like your drawing of james and your madotsuki yapping about blunt rotations to uboa. very cool

uuuh quick fire round of stuff i dont like how i drew but want to post anyways. the first one is my irl husband, aki from chainsaw man. i love him a lot, kinda hate this drawing tho, i think it was the first one i did? the second one is basil from omori, im a big fan of little blorbos who peep the horror, and basil is no exception. my friend got me the little vinyl figure of him for my birthday so i end up thinking about him a lot and i doodle him every now and then. very good design. the last one is kiruko from heavenly delusion. i did not have much hype going into the show after my middling feelings on summertime rendering (they were both in the news for being on disney+ for absolutely no reason). i dont remember what got me to watch it, but by the time episode 2 ended i was stuck in big time. i ended up binging the whole series in like one night and it was such a good time. the prototypical calcium show is probably somewhere between heavenly delusion and made in abyss. its a rough watch at times, but if you have this specific brainrot, its probably one of the best in its league tbh.

second to last is this drawing of vriska homestuck. i kept the other side because it was really pretty. im genuinely quite pleased witht his drawing, its not perfect but for what it is i find it visually appealing enough to like it. vriskas design is probably the best in homestuck, at least to me. its been a long time since ive read through homestuck proper, but something about these little shits sticks with you pretty much forever. actual fucking deadly brain parasites you get from dunking your head underwater in an infested pool, dead within days.

OOPS ALL KUMI CHAN! it had to be alien nine, it could only be alien nine. i love alien nine more than i love any of my blood relatives. kumi is literally me, i love this stupid fucking series so much you have no idea.

[karda]

the innate horror of google earth

[puppyeared]

Jitterbug

[anotherpapercut]

one of the kids at work never listens or does what he's told and we have like the same problems with him every day so the other staff all kind of hate him at this point so they'll yell at him for doing extremely minor shit and today he said "how come you're the only staff member who cares about me" and it made me really fucking sad but it's not like I can tell the grown adults I work with what to do so I just have no idea how to help the situation

[mbat]

okay but why is it that literally everywhere that i see people discussing wings of fire, its to criticize it. like, when i dont see art the only stuff i see is people saying how much they hate pretty much every aspect of the books and how tui sucke and how arcs 2 and 3 are horrible and.... like, i get criticising things, even things you like, i mean im no stranger to liking things that have MANY issues, but damn wheres the love?

like, wheres people talking about the things they like about these books without feeling the need to preface it with 'these books are the worst thing ive ever seen'?

do you like the characters? the tribes? the concepts? the worldbuilding? anything?

like. i love these books so much. they definitely have issues because EVERYTHING does but i dont see what other people see that makes them act like these books are atrocious.

are people just ashamed to like a kids series or something? i just dont get it.

idk, maybe its just what the internet has given me, and there is a side of the fandom that manages to have discussions about these books that arent just acting like they hate them, id love to know how to get there.

i just dont get being in a fandom and acting like you despise the very thing that brought you there.

[gibbearish]

hey @humans saw yall responded to a post making fun of you for updating the pixel alignment of a dash icon rather than fixing anything important saying "changes like this feel small but can make a big difference for some people" which is a bullshit cop out if ive ever heard one so im here to tell you directly in a way you cant wiggle out: you know what would actually make a big difference for a LOT of people? not being transphobic assholes

[catchmewjsn]

.

[v-arbellanaris]

im going to scream i've just had to pay two months worth of health insurance in one go because of my STUPID FUCKING BANK'S NEW AUTODEBIT BS and i just paid for jack's meds and full bloodwork for all my cats this month and the fucking contract for the exterminators because of the fucking roach problem and it's only the 8th and my next paycheck only comes in on the 27th and i still have to pay to get to work daily bc i dont fucking drive and FOOD and [muffled screaming]

[nimbus-tatze]

more people gotta learn the difference between liking someone, trusting someone, and relying on someone.

I dislike and distrust my coworker, but i know that snake can be relied on and will deliver the chart by monday if they say they will deliver it by monday. And i don't have to like them, just rely on them and they gotta be able to do the same with me. My friend who i very much like and trust is absolutely unreliable in comparison, they will cancel on me last minute or totally forget about smth we had agreed on. My neighbour who i like i don't trust bc they like to gossip and my personal stuff would not remain personal.

I mean english ain't my first or even my second language but i feel there is a very big difference and people who say 'why don't you trust them' should maybe instead ask 'why don't you rely on them'? and instead of requesting i should stop disliking someone should maybe check first if i do treat them respectfully or not.

[lesbicastagna]

<- person who says they "love complicated people" and then complains when they are. complicated and closed off and hard to decipher

[daydadahlias]

Someone has claimed 'caramelcalum' here on our hell site, are they going to receive the same amount of out-of-the-blue vitriol from you that that anon did? :)

yes i actually just sent her anon hate the other day

asdfghj no, who do you think I am?

this ask is about four days late. so i am sorry this has been grating on you so much since then.

Jules has actually had that @ since I've known her a few months ago when the tracklist dropped! And I thought it was some fun little consonance! For instance, I have a sideblog called "muffinmalum" and I figured it was in that same vein. literal sweets + sweet boy(s) = cute!! (I actually complimented Jules on the username when she first claimed it). And I still think that, considering the way "caramel" as used in the song and in her username is not about race. And to assume that it is :) is racist :)

It wasn't "out of the blue" for me to react the way I did. By sheer virtue of sending an ask to my blog, you are asking for my thoughts. If you were looking for someone's racist thoughts, please go find a racist blog. I am a person with my own personal perspectives on subjects and I shared them as I felt I wanted to and was entitled to. It wasn't "out of the blue" at all for me to reply to something directly sent to me that I recognized as racist and call it racist.

this person came back into my inbox and continued to be more racist and more misogynistic and piss me off even more so I will not be apologizing for the tone I spoke to them with. It is not my responsibility, as a 19 yo 5sos blogger, to educate people on their racism. It is, however, my right as a 19 yo 5sos blogger to call bullshit when I see it.

You - and a lot of others, as I've come to notice - seem to think I just go around policing people on their actions because, on my blog, I talk about my personal passionate perspective on subjects and I'm predisposed to sound persuasive when I speak. Me aggressively replying to an ask I found racist that was sent directly to me does not then correlate to me going out of my way to call people racist whenever I see something I don't like on my casual scrolls through tumblr. I definitely don't do that. It would be a waste of my time, actually, to do that. I stay concentrated to my own blog and to my private, wonderful group of friends and I don't stray from it. Even if I see someone being outwardly The Worst on this hell site (and trust me, I see it; the racism/misogyny/gross shit that permeates this fandom is apparent and abhorrent), I don't send them anon hate. I'll make a little vague tag post about it, sure, why not, but I don't go out of my way to talk to them. I don't go out of my way to even so much as see them. I use the block button very liberally to keep from seeing things that piss me off. But if someone comes into my ask box and asks for my opinion, I'm going to express my opinion. And it is also worth baring in mind that you don't see every ask I get. I don't reply to all of them. And prior to this ask, I had gotten several others that had angered me. This "out of the blue" reaction had been building for a hot minute.

If you don't like the way I talk and you don't like my perspectives, you have the option to unfollow or block me so that my personality doesn't bother you so much. The nature of this ask is embarrassingly hypocritical.

Do you feel better now that you've argued for racism??

[be-good-to-bugs]

when i feel very lonely i get fizzled out of doing anything after less than an hour

[kangaruined]

ranting abt my roommate in the tags dont look at me

[chisatowo]

I love how my first two pmd randomizer teams I characterised them in my head as different flavors of ah goofy and now these new guys are just a bunch of assholes. Just a gaggle of shitheads who think they're better than everyone else. They all hate eachother and think they're the only normal person here. They r also best friends but they do kill eachother on a regular basis.

[omanu]

.

[salemlunaa]

❦ TAPPING INTO THE VOID BUT YOU ALWAYS FALL ASLEEP?

It’s okay sleepyhead, we’ve all been there…

so a lot of people talk to me about the fact that they are trying to tap into the void/“I AM” but they will get super uncomfortable or just fall asleep trying. Then it cuts to them waking up pissed off and upset that they are still in their shitty realities. I feel like so many people have this issue but no one really speaks about it, and to get most blogs to give advice about this specific topic, a lot of the time you have to ask them directly by dming or asking. i’ve also had this problem and let me tell you it’s one: frustrating as hell to deal with and two: no one really speaks about this problem. Here, we talk a lot about giving up, getting too scared at the last second but we never talk about dozing off.

but never fear, sai is here!!

If you are struggling with this i want you to know that as frustrating as it is, it’s so easy to get out of this rut. I would highly recommend starting earlier, i personally love SATS as do many people in the community, but be honest with yourself love, if you see yourself sleeping off i recommend starting earlier than the state right before you sleep as you will have more control of your body.

I also want you guys to try sleeping to waves, whether it be alpha, epsilon, delta and whatever, fall asleep to waves, repeating “I AM” until you doze off. And i know it may be hard for your mind to stick to it but you can, i KNOW you can

you can even try entering during the day, and no it doesn’t always have to be at night because you’re a god and don’t need to be a slave to “time”. you can enter perfectly during the day and it’s just as easy as doing it in the night, don’t let limiting beliefs be the death of you. You can even use the day to affirm that when you sleep you immediately tap into the void/“I AM”, because you are a god, it will become fact when you decide.

I also need you guys to flip your thoughts, and you’ve probably heard this a thousand and one times so i will allow an eye roll just this once, BUT it’s actually something you need to do, don’t tell me “i get it, sai!!” and then come back after another day gone, don’t go around a cycle. I need you to live in the reality in which you are a master of the void and you have never slept off before. I’m gonna say this until i die but the law of assumption is a LAW not belief or superstition A LAW, meaning it can never, ever, ever fail. like ever. If you stand firm in the fact that you don’t have this problem and you are so powerful that there isn’t any time for sleeping, your reality will reflect that 110%

“i fell asleep again even though i told myself i was entering today”

“i hate myself omg i slept off AGAIN”

“i’m such a failure”

SHUT UP, SERIOUSLY? like do i seriously need to remind you who YOU ARE?

“i am a master at the void, failure simply doesn’t exist to me”

“i tap into the void/“I AM” so fast that i don’t even have time to sleep”

“i’m a god and i’ve decided the void always goes well for me”

You can do it, i dont think so, i KNOW it, for a fact, because you’re a god and i’ll be damned if you give up on everything because your body keeps dozing off.

YOU DONT FALL ASLEEP. YOU GET IN INSTANTLY. FLIP YOUR THOUGHTS, SLEEPYHEAD, AND YOULL FIND THAT YOUR DREAM LIFE ISNT FAR… 💋💞