#this post have been sitting in my drafts for a while idk why i post it just now

[sad-and-t1red]

original costume sketches by anthony ward for schikaneder das musical — eleonore schikaneder edition

[aroaceleovaldez]

I HAVE BEEN REMINDED OF SOMETHING i think i've made a post about it before but maybe it's just sitting in my drafts. idk, whatever, I will ramble again. Said thing that reminded me was a tiktok by madison_murrah about how the PJO TV show doesn't get the balance between mundanity and magical correct for pjo and I want to expand on that cause while a.) it totally is a problem in the show and i take issue with it, b.) it is also a problem in later books and i ALSO take issue with that too and i would like to elaborate on it

this got long so ramble of the day below the cut:

so the thing is that PJO is actually pretty unique in it's approach to hidden world modern fantasy. like, hidden world modern fantasy is a decently established genre with a ton of examples, but there's a reason why PJO stands out so much, and that's because technically it's NOT "hidden world." There is very intentionally no distinction between the mundane world and the mythological, at least in first series. They 100% overlap. And you do not necessarily need to be "special" to see the "mythological world-" some mortals are totally naturally clear-sighted, a lot of kids are clear-sighted, and it's like 50/50 for if mortals can become clear-sighted. In fact, most demigods aren't immune to the effects of the Mist, all that really matters is if you're actually thinking about being able to see through it. And there's a reason for that!

In general, this format of the "hidden world" modern fantasy serves two purposes: One, as the series is meant to introduce people to Greek mythology and explain why it is relevant and how it can be relatable in modern contexts, it intentionally juxtaposes myths against modern concepts: Medusa runs an apparently average garden statue store. Procrustes runs a mattress store. The entrance to the Underworld is in LA at a record store. Circe lives on an island paradise that's secretly dangerous. Hydras are like chain donut stores that seem to pop up on every corner. Perseus and his mother struggle in Perseus' childhood but get a happy ending. Calypso has an island paradise where the challenge for the hero of our story is being tempted to leave behind his goals. The plot of Sea of Monsters is blatantly the Odyssey, and it's about Percy trying to get to his best friend (who he shares a literal psychic link to) who is in danger of getting married to someone awful (a literal monster) to help you understand Odysseus trying to get back to Penelope and how important to each other and in sync they are. Battle of the Labyrinth is Theseus and the Labyrinth and it's Percy/Theseus trying to protect his home and his people and fellow kids (like Nico) from the dangers in the maze. These are all supposed to help us understand what is actually going on in those stories.

We also still see how Greek mythology influence shapes and influences western culture in general in their world (which is supposed to be our own and so uses real-world examples) - in government, in architecture, in pop culture - Mythomagic is clearly supposed to be your standard TCG like Magic The Gathering. And in general there is no distinction between where the mythological ends and mundane begins - Camp Half-Blood is both a magical training space for demigods and your run of the mill underfunded summer camp, complete with cheesy camp songs and t-shirts and crafts. Olympus is located on top of the Empire State Building which is operating completely as normal except for when a demigod asks to go to a non-existent floor. Your best friend with a muscular disease in his legs is secretly a satyr. Your brother with down syndrome is a cyclops. Your teacher in a wheelchair is secretly an immortal centaur. Your crappy algebra substitute is a literal fury. But also they're still your teachers. The satyr is still your best friend, the cyclops is still your brother. And that brings me to the second aspect of all of this (which i have talked about before [here] and [here]) - the other purpose it serves is that it is an extension of the overarching disability themes that form the core of the series.

The entire reason that meshing of mundanity and magical is so intertwined is entirely because it's part of the disability metaphor, specifically inspired by early 2000s parenting/teaching concepts for children with disabilities, particularly learning disabilities, as trying to reframe disabilities as "superpowers" to empower kids (and still exists in some more modern forms - like referring to disabilities as "being differently-abled") (I talk about it in my previous post on the subject but this generally fell out of favor due to many kids/students finding it belittling of their struggles) - this is why we get the description of ADHD and Dyslexia being framed as "demigod superpowers." In the series this structure is intentionally made to encourage kids to reframe how they view disabilities in general as not something negative but something interesting and fantastical that they may be more open to engage with - and PJO does this in a really nice way where a lot of the disability struggles are still acknowledged and treated sympathetically. Kids still get bullied, Percy and Annabeth struggle in school or with reading/spelling, they grapple with both internal and external ableism. The entire reason for the titan war in the first series, at least from the demigod perspective, is criticizing flawed systems meant to support disabled people that don't do their job effectively or let too many people fall through the cracks. The Mist "hiding" the "mythological world" from mortals (and even some demigods) is about how most abled people (and some undiagnosed people) don't recognize disability struggles until it affects them personally. None of these things are glossed over! It's handled with nuance and care! The series says "you can be disabled and you can be like these fantastical heroes - not in spite of your disability, but alongside it. Neither negates the other." The series was explicitly made so Rick's disabled son could see himself in a hero and learn about mythology for school. Those are the two pillars of the entire franchise: Disability and learning about mythology.

So, when you mess with that "hidden world" structure, the entire thing falls apart and it immediately doesn't feel right, because it's no longer serving either of those two purposes when it needs to be fulfilling both. Late-series Riordanverse has a tendency to compartmentalize the mythological and keep it entirely sectioned off from the mundane. Think about first series and even TKC versus later series - how many mortal characters are there? what do they do? are they just in the background or do they interact with the main cast frequently? are they more than just family or an extension to the main cast? First series we see Percy's classmates frequently, Percy talks about his mundane experiences at school, multiple mortal parent characters (and other mortal characters like Rachel) are active participants in and vital to the plot. We even see a lot of background mortal characters. In TKC, not only are all the magicians technically mortal, but also Sadie's completely mundane best friends help her out. Now think about HoO, or ToA, or even MCGA. Think about the mortal characters in those series. How important are they? Out of the important ones, how much are they in mundane situations versus being almost entirely involved in something mythological? How many aren't related to any of the main cast? How many aren't actively working for a god? The answer is basically zero! Why is that? Because Rick stopped letting the mundane exist. The entire draw of the main series is that Percy does continue to live this mundane life and that adds to his mythological life and makes the balance and meshing between them interesting, but basically all mundanity ceases to exist by HoO. Camp Jupiter is an isolated entirely magic town. Percy and Jason's schools are full of mythological beings as basically the only people they interact with. The Tri's headquarters is an entire giant building in New York City that they completely control that just so happens to ALSO be directly across the street from the local Oracle's house, because even where Rachel lives isn't allowed to be mundane anymore. Why is Olympus just at the top of the Empire State Building versus the Tri having an ENTIRE building? That feels weird and unbalanced, particularly given the difference in importance between those two! Because one is playing into that balance of the meshing of mundane and magical and the other isn't! The show continues this trend. It doesn't allow any of the mythological to exist within mundanity like it functions in the books, which creates a completely different atmosphere and doesn't allow those spaces or scenes or characters to serve their actual narrative purposes, either making it easier to understand mythology contextually or what disability metaphor or representation is occurring there.

It's part of the problem with show!Percy being too mythologically-savvy - Percy is supposed to be the mundane lens unfamiliar with mythology that the audience is learning by proxy through. That's the entire point of the series! If you have Percy already know everything because he's already too ingrained into this mythological environment from the start, and he just exists in this entirely magical world where he understands everything immediately then the literal target audience of the entire franchise (students being introduced to mythology) is left behind! That's part of why the pacing of the show feels so bad! It's rushing through every scene that's more or less the same as the books, particularly anything mythological, because the show is assuming you've already read the books and already know enough mythology to know what it is and what happens and that you don't want to see it again, so it rushes through. The show doesn't explain things that it presumes you already know - worldbuilding, character decisions, basically any mythology, etc, so it doesn't even bother with it.

Later books in the franchise do this too - as long as it's tangentially Greco-Roman mythology, or if it's anything to do with the main series like a reference in TKC or MCGA or etc, it's not going to elaborate much if at all. HoO speeds through Jason's introduction to CHB, and the only reason we get much introduction to Camp Jupiter is because it's actually new. We're no longer trying to contextualize or learn about mythology, it just all becomes set-dressing and references thrown at you rapid-fire as filler. By late HoO and into TOA and TSATS and such, we're not longer even within the realm of pretending like we're adhering to mythology at all. Why is Iris a vegan? Why is Rhea a hippie? Dunno, don't care! Literally doesn't matter! Why are the pandai panda/elephant-monsters and the troglodytes frog-monsters when that's not part of their actual history at all? Well a.) literally just word associations and b.) possibly a little bit of racism (they're supposed to be humans from India and northern Africa, and you made them monsters. cool. okay. and their plotlines totally aren't horrible within those contexts. awesome. please try thinking literally at all next time, thanks). We're not even bothering to look at mythological instances anymore for a basis, a lot of it's written like we're just going based on the first results on google (hi Menoetes and the cacodaemons - the latter of which is not even spelt correctly once in the entire book - which is weird because they do say "daemon" so they know the word. Not that the cacodaemons are mythologically accurate at all because then they would be humanoid. Instead they seem to just be inspired by the things from Doom). None of it serves the purpose of the narrative at all; we're literally just making random choices, some of them quite distasteful! In large part due to refusing to acknowledge the actual contexts of the myths and how that might translate into something similar or equivalent a modern setting to help conceptualize it - something the first series did inherently by design. And we need this! A.) So that you're less likely to make bad decisions because you are inherently thinking about the historical and cultural contexts of these things and how to compare/explain it, and b.) because the audience for later books/the other series and the show is going to be the same as the first series! Those nonsensical references may be at best cameos to people who are already familiar with them, but if your intended audience is new to mythology then making references like that is just going to leave people out of the loop! You don't shift your target audience in the middle of a franchise!

Later books in the series and the show are failing to understand what the first series was actually doing narratively and how it was approaching these subjects and its audience. When you fail to do that, it completely messes up the general worldbuilding and the core themes and intentions of the franchise as a whole. Once you lose touch with that you might as well just be writing a completely different franchise. You need to approach it from the same lens or else it will feel completely off, because otherwise you've lost all base touchstones that make the series what it is.

[jujustsies]

Even more Choso since yall love him so badd LMAOOA

"I got it, revive me real quick!" Choso said into his microphone as he played some stupid game with his friends. His eyes are always glued to that screen!

You asked him when he was gonna stop playing and he said "Five more minutes" twenty-five minutes ago. How ridiculous.

You finally had a day off of your taxing job and you come home to Choso barely even talking to you, which isn't normal.

"Cho' are you still gonna play?" You asked, "B-Babe wait a second.. okay? I'll be done, I promise." Choso replied, obviously lying.

When did he get so comfortable with lying to your face like that?

You just got up and left the bed since he was too busy with his game. You walked into the kitchen and made yourself a glass of water, you wanted Choso's cum to hydrate your throat but water will do for now.

You peeked into the room and saw him look at that game as if it's the only thing that mattered at the moment.

BZZ!!

It was your job, asking you to come in for today. How ignorant.

You didn't have much to do, you really took the day off to be in bed with Choso all day but he's already occupied, so, you agreed.

You soon walked back into your bedroom and walked towards the closet to pick out your work clothes, which caught Choso's attention.

"Oh, babe, I can wash those for you." He said.

"I already did," You replied.

"Okay.. then why do you have them out?" He asked, looking discombulated.

"I was called in," You said. "Why go?" He asked as he paused his game. "I don't have anything else to do."

"Huh?"

"What?"

"You don't wanna stay with me?" Choso asked, frowning a little. "Not really, not when your eyes are glued to that computer, respectfully." You replied.

He looked confused, "You don't like when I play my games?" He asked. "I've been trying to talk to you all day." You said.

"Oh. Really?" He asked.

"Really," You replied.

"Baby, I didn't mean to. I'm sorry! Please don't go to work, please stay!" Choso begged. "I already said yes," You replied.

"I'll do anything, I'm sorry I was on my game for too long!" Choso whined. "Yeah?" You teased.

"Hey.. don't tease," He frowned.

"Cheer up Cho', it wont be long." You said. "Just sit tight, I mean.. you were already fine on that game." You chuckled.

"Babe, come on.. I'll do anything for you to stay!" Choso pleaded as he held onto you on his knees while his face as rested against your lower abdomen.

"Anything for me to stay, huh?" You teased.

"A-Anything!" He replied sharply, his face heating up a little at your sensual voice.

to be continued? maybe? idk? just wanted this out of my drafts before friday LOL

check out these while you're already here lol

geto shit post!

gojo headcanons

gojo oneshot

choso oneshot

choso oneshot 2 - NEW!

choso 2 headcanons

ino heacanons

[jaysgoodgurl]

-Blame it on... (p.js)

pairing: fwb! jay x f! reader

wordcount: 1.0k

content: smut, angst, heartbreak, mentions of alcohol and drugs, slight exhibitionism, idk what else...

note: hi I don't usually post ff on this account but this has been sitting in my drafts for like ever so here we are. It's been a while saur...

----------˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚----------

You only ever saw Jay when you were drunk, acknowledged his presence with a bottle in your hand. Why? You didn't know but the thought of not having your liquid courage in your system freaked you out. You needed the drinks to justify why you kept going back, and let him have you the way that he did. 

When did it begin? It was at a frat party you dragged your friends to. Jake had just left you heartbroken and you were ready to be stupid and reckless. You and Jake had been high school sweethearts but he decided he wanted to fuck other girls and that you just had to deal with it or leave. So you left your four year relationship and it led you here in a random frat house, five shots in and your friends nowhere in sight.

That's where he came in. Park Jay. Energetic. Charismatic. Life of the party. He'd plopped down right next to you on the couch to rest and you, being a lightweight, cuddled up to his warmth. He didn't mind. You're hot and single. An easy girl looking for no strings attached. You were just the girl he'd been looking for or so he thought. Little did he know, you were gonna be the one to fuck him up.

So off you went together, getting even more drunk and high than you already were. Bong rip after bong rip until it was just you two in a bedroom upstairs. You, with your skirt unzipped and your top long gone. Him, with nothing but his boxers.

You knew it was a bad idea. Having sex with a stranger right after a big break up. But there was something about him that just had you wanting more. His aura was inviting, luring you into his trap. You needed him to touch you, hurt you. You wanted his soft lips on yours, kissing away the pain. You needed him to make you forget, needed him to ruin whatever's left of you.

Maintaining eye contact, you undid your bra and let the straps slip from your arms. You slipped off your skirt with eaze, not realizing you'd misplaced your underwear. You took it off earlier in the bathroom and forgot to put it back on before you left. It's okay though. You liked the thought of being easy to access. Anyone could have had you and you wouldn't have cared. The thought of it had your pussy wet. That's how willing you were to forget. To have someone distract you from your heartache. You're glad it was Jay who got to have you that night. You'd never tell him that to his face, though…

You let him explore your curves as you both made your way to the bed. You let him eat you out, which you've never let anyone do but you can blame it on the alcohol for your misjudgement. You let him suck on your clit as he pumped two fingers into you, curling up at your sweet spot. You moaned from the sensation, stars filling your eyes. You run your hands through his hair, gripping it tight with each lick he gives to your folds. You gasp as he becomes the first man to make you cum just from eating you out.

He whispers sweet nothings in your ear as he rubs the tip of his cock against your wet folds, lubricating it. He called you his good girl with each kiss as he let you adjust to his size, and maybe just maybe you'd let him be yours, but the thought stung too much. He fills you up to the brim, stuffing you with his length. He's definitely bigger than your ex. With him, you didn't have to pretend.

You let him be as rough as he wanted with you. You didn't care. You needed to feel something. You wanted this man to erase the touch of another. You wanted him to fill you up in each and every hole you had to offer. You wanted each and every drop of his cum to fill you up. You needed him to treat you like the whore you are, so you won't fall in love again. 

So he did. With each sharp thrust, he first came inside your pussy, astonished at how much you begged him to, refusing to even think of the consequences. You then cleaned him up with your mouth, getting him hard again with the swirl of your tongue until he came deep in your throat. Eyes puffy, you swallowed all of it with a smile. That was a first for him, and fuck he wanted you so bad. Before you knew it, he was buried deep in your ass, rearranging your guts as he came for the last time that night, achieving the goal you set for yourself. 

That's how it started.

Afterwards, you woke up sore with a pounding headache. Hickeys littered your chest, neck and thighs. Dried cum stuck to your skin...and Jay. He was sleeping so peacefully by your side. You almost wanted to kiss his pretty face, wanting to snuggle up to his side and breathe in his fragrance. But you didn't.

Instead, you got up slowly as memories of last night came flooding back. Was it a mistake? Maybe. A mistake you'll keep coming back to. A mistake you sought out when you were drunk and sad at night and had nowhere else to go but his apartment.

And Jay? He didn't mind that you only ever saw him when you were drunk. Although, he wished you'd let him take you out one of these days. It used to drive him crazy when this all started. You, refusing to even talk to him about what you were. Rejecting him whenever he'd tried anything while you were sober. Was he really that awful in bed that you needed liquor just to sleep with him? He tried breaking it off before. Ending this stupid game of cat and mouse. Why should he have to deal with your fucked up heart? But then he'd miss you and he'd come crawling back. It's whatever though. Having you like this was better than nothing...right?

[adachimoe]

A long and meandering post about Adachi and the Investigation Team

I have no idea what to title or describe this as. This is a long ass rambling 2.5k+ word post that consists of like 5 drafts I had sitting around that all felt somewhat related. It starts with the part where the Investigation Team tells Adachi to get over himself, then devolves into talking about Adachi punching himself in the face repeatedly (metaphorically), before ending by exploring the idea of Adachi as the Investigation Team's collective Shadow. it rly is tl;dr.

Adachi will remember that

At one point in Magatsu Inaba, the Investigation Team takes turns responding to Adachi in verbal turn-based combat. They all have varying responses and levels of understanding of him.

Chie doesn't understand why Adachi even became a cop, Rise thinks he's full of shit, Kanji tells him a 2008 version of "go kys" (tbf, he's never been eloquent with words), Yukiko tells Adachi that he sounds like a kid, Naoto calls him out for finding life annoying while being a damn annoyance, and Yosuke tells him he's just a criminal.

What Yukiko says to him in particular appears to sting Adachi, evident by how he "!" emotes in reaction to her. Or idk maybe he's secretly into getting bullied by women. I think Yukiko has Adachi's number here, and he knows that. After all, part of his schtick is that, "Oh, you stupid fuckin' kids, you don't know what I've been through or how I feel! Get off my dungeon lawn!!!" And yet, one of those stupid kids is able to tl;dr his life. He later even repeats what she said back at Sho during P4U2.

What Yukiko says here, I think, stands out in particular not just because of Adachi's reaction but also because it resembles a sentiment found in other media: The contradiction of being alive while not "truly" being alive. This often goes like so: A character can be alive in that they are most certainly physically living and breathing, but they are largely closed off from the rest of the world and going through the motions. Thus they are said to not truly be alive.

In the context of Persona 4, I believe Adachi fits in with this trope. As Yukiko has assessed, life sucks, but it's not like he's in any hurry to die. From what we see of Adachi in the plot, he's going through the motions. He wakes up, goes to his job, goes to Junes to bum free air conditioning, and sometimes gets dragged over to Dojima's house.

I don't think it's bad that people fall into these routines by default. Some find them comforting, some appreciate the simplicity, and some make up for the monotony of adult life with the more fascinating things they do outside of work.

But this doesn't apply to Adachi, who openly groans about his life and job. He seems to want to live and fit in with society, but he wants to do with more than what he has right now, yet he also seems unwilling or unable to put in the effort to get what he wants. He tells us he's lonely and wants a girlfriend, but when the old woman from his Social Link tries to hook him up with a girl, he finds it all annoying. He thinks of himself as an elite detective who is above Inaba, but he is regularly made out to be incompetent, sloppy, and careless.

It's like he's stuck but not doing anything to become unstuck. Following the tropes, Adachi would move from being a character who is "alive without really being alive" to "Truly Living" once he figures out how to get himself un-stuck. If he truly wants to be a hotshot detective in the big city with a smokin' hot wife, then something needs to change because he won't get those things as he is now. But how does Adachi approach the subject of "change"?

Maybe the world really is just a shitshow?

Adachi being exposed as the murderer is a major turning point for the murder investigation. And after the Investigation Team chases him into the TV, one of the many things he talks about is "change", or rather a lack of change.

As far as Adachi is concerned, the world can't / won't / doesn't change. He criticizes the world and its inability to change, how society works, and how people will latch to whatever you tell them as the truth.

Some things he says might resonate with us, especially nowadays with the spread of social media and misinformation. However, despite these criticisms, it sounds like he still desires to be part of society. He has been trying to blend in as a normal guy since April despite being a murderer. I think it's worth reiterating that his complaints about his life weren't anarchist but more like, "I don't have a cute girlfriend who cooks for me." Furthermore, he was trying to take advantage of misinformation to get away with murder by pinning it on Namatame.

Adachi doesn't like the current world and doesn't think it will change. Thus, he is forcing it to change in a completely catastrophic way. He really is throwing a tantrum: Like, what, you can't get away with murder? All right, throw the whole world away. With this approach, it is not Adachi who must change to fit in with the world, but rather the world that must change to fit Adachi.

Change isn't a good subject with him, which, honestly, is relatable. Change is easier said than done. Even within Persona 4 itself, after getting Magical TV Powers, an event that feasibly might add spice to one's life!!, the same old routine still runs Adachi's life. What has changed is that he's now waiting for Namatame to kill someone. Showing up looking for a dead body in the shopping district is simply a new part of his routine.

This topic of Adachi and change gets wrapped up after the fight against Amenosagiri. Adachi challenges the Investigation Team: >>>If<<< they think they have the power to change the future, then do it.

After entering the TV World, Amenosagiri responds to Adachi's wish and makes his wish come true as the dungeon deadline bad ending shows. That was Adachi's own so-called power to change the future. So what is the Investigation Team's?

Yosuke then replies that everyone has the power to change their future. As in, you don't need special powers from a gigantic disco eyeball inside of a TV to do that. In context, Yosuke is telling Adachi, "This is a 'you' problem," or "Skill issue." And tbh, I think Yosuke is more or less correct here.

In which we revisit the topic of "dumbass" and effort

In some ways, this topic might seem odd to approach. Everyone on the Investigation Team - besides Chie - seems to have a better life situation than Adachi had when he was their age. Are they punching down? Perhaps it feels like a hollow reflection of the collectivist culture that the solution to these antagonists who go "BUT SOCIETY IS WHAT IS WRONG" is always to beat them up and force them to conform--

…..but hold on. That line of thought would be giving in to what Adachi says before his boss battle. And, based on how he quits talking about how "waaah society is unfair" afterward, I find it difficult to think that is what he genuinely believes about his situation.

When I suggest that Yosuke is correct, I don't mean this in a "You aren't special, Adachi, everyone else's life sucks too, just deal with it" kind of way. What I have in mind is how the game seems to support that this is an Adachi problem, not an everyone else problem. Throughout Adachi's Social Link, his other interactions, and what Atlus has said as meta / Word of God answers, you get the idea that people were trying with Adachi, but he wasn't meeting them halfway.

For example:

This entire post is about the effort the MC puts in just to get called a dumbass (though I'd bet that the protag considers Adachi calling him a dumbass to be like a Badge of Honor). Even their gay ass Fever Time in P4D tells the story of Yu trying to reach out and Adachi going, "No!!!"

The old woman in his Social Link is trying to wingwoman for him and hook him up with women in Inaba, but Adachi seems unwilling. Instead, he tells Nanako and the protagonist that he's never getting married. Despite his loneliness, he justifies himself by saying, "Marriage is the graveyard of a man's life."

The Dojima family and Adachi interact briefly throughout the game, both in the story scenes and in his Social Link. As his letter at the end of the game shows, Adachi felt lukewarm about their interactions because he wasn't quite aware of what he had with them until he no longer has their company.

The way I see it, when Adachi rants about the world not changing, he is not actually bitching about the world. Rather, this feels more like a form of projection. He says the world doesn't change, but perhaps he is talking about himself and his own inability to change. Which would reframe it as more like… He knows he's the issue that holds himself back - his own worst enemy, perhaps - but he says the world is wrong to justify himself.

You learn a bit about Adachi through his Social Link. During rank 6, in dialogue that can tragically be missed, Adachi will admit that he is lonely, but he also thinks it's easier that way. And really, easier is just another way of saying "less effort".

On one hand, this might show Adachi's annoyance with other people. But at the same time, for him to call the protagonist a dumbass for investing so much in him and their relationship, I think the unspoken bit here is that Adachi does not think he is worth the time or effort, to begin with. His lack of effort isn't just him being annoyed with people or not giving a shit about things. I'm no expert, but I think the majority of us would wager that this is depression.

As the game's timeline unfolds, we really only know Adachi as the pathetic, silly murder guy. Did he start distancing himself from people because of the "oops, I murdered someone" part? Or was he like this even before then? When he talks more about his past, he doesn't go into a great amount of detail.

Going with my gut here, but I get the feeling that Adachi's obsession with Mayumi - something from before he became a murderer - suggests his distance from people is not a new thing for him. Consider: Meeting people? Forming relationships? Even before we talk about romance, how the hell do you even make friends as an adult? (The answer is BL btw. Go find some girlies who ship the same pairing.) I think Adachi said fuck it to all that bullshit. It'd be easier - less effort - for him to just be alone.

But… What if the magical TV just tells you exactly who your soulmate is? Well, shit, that's easy. For the lonely guy who just got transferred to Inaba and generally keeps his distance from people, I imagine it would be quite convenient to just be told, "This is who your soulmate is".

And that wouldn't be the last time Adachi gets a freebie from the TV. It happens again in December, as Adachi finds an again "easy" solution that does not involve changing himself or doing something annoying that requires effort from him. Having been enabled by the magical TV, Adachi is something of a static character.

Adachi is the Investigation Team's Shadow

In the P4G Premium Fan/Fun/Fsomething book, Atlus defines the Shadow by the Jungian definition, then talks about how the Shadows in-game represent "alternate possibilities" for the characters. The specific example it gives is how Chie's Shadow holds a great deal of animosity towards Yukiko. The real Chie doesn't feel this way towards Yukiko; in fact, she treasures her. Thus, Chie's Shadow is an alternate possibility.

When you look at Chie and what she says about accepting her Shadow, her Shadow seems to be born from a real insecurity (her jealousy of Yukiko) and part of it really does resemble Chie. But part of her Shadow is also this… caricature-esque thing. Hence why Atlus calls it the "alternate possibility". In turn, Chie accepts that she is jealous of Yukiko, but she does not accept the Banana Hat Dominatrix trying to exert control over Yukiko. She even realizes that rather than Yukiko needing her, it was actually her who needed Yukiko.

(I refuse to carry on with this train of thought further than talking about Atlus's own example with Chie because it would inevitably mean having to talk about how Atlus sees Kanji and Naoto's issues/Shadows/dungeons, and I'd need like bottles of wine to get in the mood to even type a paragraph of that.)

During her P4G winter Social Link scene, where her Persona evolves, Chie brings up Adachi and how she could have become him. She continues that anyone could have turned out like him.

Indeed, Adachi very much feels like a, "this could happen to anyone" character. He is an everyday normal guy who accidentally gets involved in something beyond him: a Like a Dragon side story NPC stuck in a game about high schoolers and friendship. Based on how you see these characters, you can correlate many of their issues to Adachi's own issues.

Really, in some ways, he feels like he was written to be the sum of the Investigation Team's insecurities, all bundled into one guy. As Chie's Shadow twisted her jealousy of Yukiko into a desire to control Yukiko and showed an alternate possibility for who Chie could have become if she had let jealousy consume her, perhaps Adachi shows an alternate possibility for who all of them could become.

As Amenosagiri later reveals, the truth torments the Shadows. Your party identifies that is what causes the Shadows to attack people.

When we consider how the game has gone until now, then those moments where the Investigation Team told their Shadows, "You're not me!" must be the moment that Amenosagiri was describing. The members of the Investigation Team come face to face with a being who claims to be them and seems aware of the same issues that gnaw at them. But these beings pervert their issues issues in a direction that doesn't reflect who the Investigation Team really are. And so they challenge that this being is truly them. They, sigh, "reach out to the truth", and it causes their Shadows to go nutso and attack.

And, of course, these repeated scenes where they tell their Shadows all lead up to the last time we see this kind of sequence...

Just as the Investigation Team had to face themselves and pick apart the truths from the caricature, they, too, come to face Adachi and can cut through the bullshit, rejecting his attempts to justify why it's okay for him to merge the TV World into reality and screw everyone over.

That said, though, if we are to compare him to their Shadows, then we must acknowledge that, much like how the Investigation Team's Shadows come from their own real insecurities, Adachi's frustrations with the Investigation Team and with the world at large must also come from something real.

On this screenshotted line in particular, he even uses the more masculine "ore" as his pronoun in Japanese. He usually uses the more boyish "boku", but he seems to swap to "ore" to indicate that he is speaking quite genuinely--or perhaps speaking from the heart.

While he is a whiny murderer throwing an apocalyptic tantrum, I'm sure there are circumstances that made him the person that he is as an adult. Tbh, I've already made a lot of posts talking about the factors that might have contributed to *why* he feels like this, so I won't drag this out further.

By Arena Ultimax, Adachi has come to accept the murder case as the inciting incident that causes him to change as he finds himself finally owning up to his actions from the previous year. He's no role model lol, but life now has more meaning to him than just something you go through every day. Perhaps it's at this moment that he can be said to have gone from merely being alive to living.

(Let's be real tho, jail gives you 3 non-cup noodle meals per day? Damn. It's like he's living his best life. Speaking of which, food feels like such a fitting metaphor for his emotional nourishment.)

In the aftermath of the dungeon and the almost-end-of-the-world, Adachi agreed to start playing by the rules, and became more of a dynamic character. At the beginning of Ultimax, Adachi's commitment to this gets questioned as Yu, Yosuke, and Chie find him allied with Sho (like 5 cutscenes after Yu is so confidant he's behaving himself too, tsk tsk). But Yu reaches the roof, hears Adachi's cringe ass dialogue (I'm pretty sure that Adachi would not have said half that shit if he had known Yu was standing around the corner), and reaffirms his belief that Adachi was genuine about his promise to play by the rules.

The Investigation Team are not on the best of terms with Adachi. Regardless, they went into his dungeon, called him out on his bullshit that had been mixed in with his own real shortcomings and insecurities, punched him, and as we can tell by Ultimax, came to accept him in their own ways as they did their individual Shadows. As Yu says, perhaps they have strangely enough decided to trust in Adachi.

[osaka-lilac]

Asking you to kindly elaborate on the strollonso football au:

hello raapija my beloved, i would love to elaborate <3

for those out of the loop, refer to my tags on this post!

warning: i am an american with a incredibly basic understanding of footy ("soccer"). there is a reason the actual talk of any gameplay is basic and limited

fernando is this new guy to Lawrence Stroll's footy team right. (because in every universe, lawrence has to own a Team.) i can imagine he's some draft pick from spain for a new striker or something like that. possibly some trade, maybe a mid-season exchange (they do that in american football but idk if they do that in footy) those who know specifics of positions in footy please let me know your thoughts on what position fernando would play

lance: couldn't give two shits about footy. he's seen maybe once in a blue moon on the sidelines tagging along, and he's known for being visibly bored or on his phone during matches. (he has the Pout Blast 3000 for this.)

the reputation he receives from fans is much like the perceived impressions he gets irl: some spoiled kid who shouldn't be there. he's more into hockey than any match his dad's team could ever play.

now when fernando shows up its like a fucking slap to the face. like. "holy fuck i didn't think they could be this hot" type beat.

for the first time, lance shows up to a team practice with his father, not just a match. but he's really not there for the team: he is enamored by fernando. his speed. he's a sly yet devilishly handsome fucker with this wicked grin when he knows he's tricked his opponent yet again, and lance is obsessed.

not only does he start going to way more matches. he also starts showing visible interest and gets invested. and he gets loud. the mumbles online about his "spoiled reputation" turn to joy. he becomes a meme of the team for a few weeks after a clip of him getting frustrated after a poorly-called card is given to fernando ends up going viral.

and maybe this entire time, fernando has been watching this young boy from afar. he totally believes he can't be with his literal manager's young son and jeopardize his spot on the team and a shot at glory. and maybe he believes that lance initially isn't interested. but maybe when he sees lance become more invested in the team, he figures he might have a chance. he just can't figure out why lance has become so invested in what was, quite frankly, a very short amount of time.

so maybe fernando's on the side for a while in a practice. lance is there, but he seems distant. not in the game. not really watching the drills by the other players with much enthusiasm. and fernando's a smart man. and he puts some pieces together in his brain. and makes a move.

he comes up to lance and asks to talk with him once practice is done. when all the other players are gone. in the locker room. of course lance agrees

flash forward a bit. n lance is like. hanging out by the exit outside of the locker room. he counts all the players. and when there's only one left. he goes inside. finds fernando sitting on one of the benches, still in his kit.

they get to talking. what lance does outside of being at games, (i can imagine him being a student but i don't have the will to kin assign him a major right now), what his favorite hockey team is (habs. of course) and of course, the loaded question:

"lancito, what's gotten you so interested in the team now?"

of course, lance doesn't really respond to this, kinda dances around the question. he gets flustered. he doesn't want to be found out. what if he sees right through him, what if he already knows, what if he tells his dad??

fernando leans in slightly, and slides his hand over lance's hip. he cups his chin softly, and slowly turns lance's head to look at fernando straight on.

"be honest, niñito."

and when has lance ever been anything but honest.

[cardboardclownery]

...hi guys :]

so uhh. folie a deux posting again-

this issss the first chapter i wrote for this!! cookie and i split the chapters among

ourselves specially based on their content and when pitching the idea for this one cookie said they felt sick while reading my idea so. i was chosen to write this one for his sake -v-

SO!! sit back, relax, and enjoy the horrors my friend B]

(also sorry about the bracket bits at the start, we havent made placeholder town names yet or anything ;v;)

FOLIE À DEUX - CHAPTER 5, DRAFT 1

big tw for: graphic depictions of violence, cannibalism, dark themes(?? its freaky idk what youd call it)

I’ve once again found myself in the dark, suffocating woods surrounding the towns of Eastridge. Realistically, I could’ve stayed in [town name] for a bit longer– I had only just started living there before moving out again. Despite that, something in my head is telling me that I have to leave. Telling me how that place is too close to my old home, how easy it would be for Lankmann to find me there.

That voice has been leading me fairly well so far, so I have no reason to stop following him now.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling a bit doubtful, though. I have no reason to believe he’s right or wrong, but a voice telling me to walk endlessly through the wilderness with unconfirmable reasoning isn’t exactly easy to believe. What other choice do I have, though? Stay put and see if it’s proven right, only to risk being put back into that hellish asylum?

No. That isn’t an option. We– I’m not going back there.

God, I’m hungry.

Still, I keep walking, ignoring how much my stomach growled. If I just make it to the nearest town soon, I can get something to eat. I think I still have enough money left to buy something. If not… hopefully they have a soup kitchen. I never imagined I’d end up in a situation where I would depend on something like that. I guess I never considered how people end up homeless or unable to feed themselves.

It feels odd calling myself a “person” now. I don’t know why, but it just seems… wrong in some way.

…I smell something. What is that smell? It’s visceral, almost like raw pork, and yet oddly sweet. I feel drool well up in my mouth and drip down my chin. I quickly wipe it off with my sleeve as I feel my heart begin to pound. Why am I so shaky? And why am I so much hungrier than before?

I look around for the source of the smell only to see a person walking not too far off in the distance. The trees make it hard to see them very well, but I can tell it’s a person. I know it doesn’t make sense for them to be the source of the smell, and yet something’s telling me that they are.

I find myself unable to look away from them. I don’t know why, but I just can’t.

Something about them makes me feel even hungrier.

Why am I hungrier? That’s a fucking person, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I just look away– I keep trying but I can’t get myself to look anywhere else but at them. My jaw falls open, letting more saliva spill out. They start walking farther away, I should walk away too.

But I can’t stop staring.

I can’t stop drooling.

I can’t…

I can’t…

stop…

…

…What...

What’s…going on..?

I can’t remember…how I got here…

I feel something in my mouth…I’m chewing something. It feels like steak, yet tastes more like ham. There’s so much of it, I feel it spilling out over my chin. It’s so warm… and wet… Is it covered in blood..? Was this even cooked at all? What the hell am I eating!?

I look down and–

And–

Fuck. Fuck, I–

I choke on what I was chewing, covering my eyes.

This isn’t fucking happening this isn’t happening–

I uncover my eyes and look down again. I see the same thing.

That person I saw. They’re right here, laying right in front of me. They won’t move, there’s a tear in their neck and they’re bleeding. They’re bleeding a lot.

Their leg’s bleeding too– there’s a deep gash in it. It looks as if an animal had torn it open with its teeth.

There’s blood on my hands. And my face, and my clothes.

There’s so much blood.

A sob pushed at my throat as I willed myself into looking at the person’s face. Another slipped out as I saw them staring back at me, making me look away again. I can’t bear looking at them like this. I can’t believe they’re even alive, let alone conscious.

It would’ve been so much easier if it wasn’t…

…What do you mean, “it?”

They aren’t an “it,” that– that’s a person that’s not–

I shake my head and look back down at its– their leg. The wound left in it is so deep, almost reaching the bone. For some reason, when I looked at this…

When I looked… I felt so, so hungry.

I swallow what remained in my mouth. It tastes… good.

Why does it… taste good..?

Without thinking, I lean down, hold the person’s leg in place and tear off another hunk of flesh with my teeth. The person doesn’t even resist or scream. It just lays there, whimpering in pain.

Its meat tastes so, so good.

I quickly chew up the viscera between my teeth and gulp it down along with the blood it was drenched in. I lick my lips to take in the mess on my face. It was oddly savory, even sweet. I tore off another chunk from its leg.

“I…I-I’m so…I’m sor…ry…” I choked out between chews. “I’m so… so, sorry…”

I swallowed down the mush in my mouth before croaking out another “sorry.” I couldn’t stop repeating as I ate, “sorry,” “sorry,” “I’m sorry,” as if it would do anything. It didn’t take long to notice the person stop responding. It finally died off as I sobbed pointless apologies, devouring what was left of its leg.

My sobs became incomprehensible blubbering after this. I couldn’t bring myself to eat anymore. I just buried my head in my hands, muffling the nonsense tumbling from my throat.

…It’s so odd.

In less than a week, I’ve transformed from a deer in headlights into a predator– a beast perhaps even more frightening than the one I had been running from all this time.

…

I can’t remember exactly how we- I got rid of the body. I just remember panicking, dragging the corpse for hours without thinking. I can’t remember where it is now. I think I stepped on something. Just above my ankle, there’s a bloody gash that must’ve been there for a while now. It’s from a bear trap I think. I probably shouldn’t be walking with a wound like that in my leg. I probably shouldn’t be able to walk with that in my leg. It stings, but it doesn’t hurt as much as it should, I don’t think.

I’m still damp from washing in a river. I think it was a river. It might’ve been a lake, actually. I can’t really remember that, either. I just know I was covered in blood, then went somewhere that had water and left without any blood on me. I couldn’t get the stains off of my clothes, though.

Hopefully no one noticed.

I’m in an apartment now– a small, run-down one, but an apartment. I’ll be stuck living here for a while so I need to get used to it. I’ve been staring at the same spot on the beige, hole-filled wall for a few minutes now, standing just in front of the door leading outside. My bag is lying next to me, having been dropped just after walking inside and closing the door.

I should go to bed.

I should unpack.

I should take a proper shower.

I should turn myself in to the police.

I should

I

don’t

I don’t. Know.

What do I do now?

Where do I go from here?

What… what do I do..?

I… I killed someone… I can’t even remember where they are now…

I just… hid them… like it was nothing and walked away.

I ate their fucking leg.

Why… why did I… Why…

Why…

I…

Can’t… breathe…

I fall backwards against the door. I can’t breathe. I choke on nothing. I can’t stop shaking.

My eyes start to sting from the tears forming in them. My fingers curl against the floor. My nails dig into it as they do.

Inhuman sounds bubble in my throat.

I feel something heavy wrap around me but nothing is there.

It becomes easier to breathe somehow.

The invisible weight around me grows heavier, pushing me down to the floor.

I curl into myself, lurching with each choked sob of a breath. Despite there being no source of it in the room, I swear I can hear music.

I really have lost it, haven’t I.

[ppumeonae-bigvibe]

centrestage

↖ navigation: nct masterlist || main masterlist

pairing: friend to lover! doyoung x gn! reader

↬ tags: not a regular listener of little light but whenever i hear it my soul ascends out of my body into the galaxies (warning: not a universal experience), friends to lovers, mentions of doyoung being a performer), open-ending because again idk, pulled this out of the depths of wattpad drafts uhh

summary: doyoung has only got this chance to confess his love to the one person who means everything to him

word count: 719 words

a/n: in light of what has been happening, i will also be working to remove any past post in the coming week that i have written of nct’s taeil,, as for my stance, i do believe the rest of the nct members shouldn’t be dragged down until more information has been given! till then i will keep supporting nct and the units

doyoung's heart beat in trepidation against his chest as he dials your handphone number for the third time that night. he was still coming from from his high, adrenaline pumping through his veins.

"where are you now?" he weaves through backstage, pressing the phone to his ear.

"i left."

he clicks his tongue, mumbling apologies before speaking to you, "i know you did. i had my eyes on you the entire time i was on stage." he paused to push the exit door, "are you nearby? i wanna see you, please."

the cool breeze of the night kissed his sweat-soaked skin as he awaited your response. he did know, however that your resolve was breaking with every passing beat of silence.

"i'm...sat at the nearby park. i'll wait for you." you hung up.

without a moment's hesitation, doyoung starts sprinting ahead, feet moving faster than his mind can even comprehend where you actually were. running like his life depended on it, he hangs onto the hope that he could officially tell you his feelings.

as soon as he spots you sitting by the curb of the playground, doyoung speeds up till he stands before you, huffing and puffing away.

"i wasn't...going anywhere. you didn't need to run here." you averted your gaze, and under the artificial street lights, doyoung think you couldn't look any better than this moment.

"i...know. i just wanted...to see you..." he catches his breath, slowly sitting down beside you. this curb you two were sat on has seen more memories than he could count: from the very first time he met you as a child in this park, to when you two skipped classes to chill here in the lazy afternoon sun, to the heart-to-heart talks shared in the late of the night.

"you left as soon as i ended." doyoung begins after a while, gathering his thoughts as he wiped his sweaty palms against his jeans, "did i...was i not impressive?" he felt small under your gentle gaze and you shook your head, "you were every bit of the performer you dreamt to be."

"then why did you go? i was..." he held back. he wanted to dedicate his own composed song to you, but the moment he saw you leave, his vision got crowded with the fans asking for an encore. he decides to continue, "i was hoping to catch you to tell you thanks for coming."

he rests his weight towards his right palm, leaning closer to you.

"i'm sorry." you blurted out and doyoung jerks his head towards you, eyebrows furrowing, "what are you sorry for?"

"you've gotten quite famous even with you own gigs and everything. look at you, you belong out there on the stage with the fans cheering your name. not with some...person like me."

"i don't care about that! tell me, did i capture your attention on stage?" doyoung reached over to grasp your hand, forcing you to look at him. the dim lights made your eyes sparkle and doyoung wishes he could read your mind this instant.

"of course." you replied with certainty and he pulled you into his embrace, "then that's all i wanna hear. screw those fans because...i was performing for you and you alone."

doyoung pulls away, not breaking eye contact with you, "that song? that was meant for you. it was meant to be a confession song for your ears to here, which was why i invited you to come today."

"i wanted to tell you that i love you."

the second the words left his lips, he almost immediately feels that thread snap in him. "i have loved you from the day we first met, and i've never stopped loving you ever since." he remembers the day he finally accepted his feelings for you, growing stronger with each passing day he spent with you. he remembers that worn-out notebook with heart doodles and some lyrics he penned down, definitely not forgetting the multiple voice recordings he saved to create the very song he played just for you today.

he hears you inhale audibly and he spots that uncertainty in your eyes, "don't say that. not when you're gaining popularity. i'm just gonna be a hindrance."

"i'm willing to do anything it takes to be with you. so, will you be mine?"

@ppumeonae-bigvibe 's work ; likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

[eluxcastar]

The little sisterfication of Sandrone

── ୨୧：sandrone & reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: sandrone being a moody tsundere child but it's cute

୨୧﹑genre :: fluff

୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, child character

୨୧﹑words :: 828

omg so I meant to do more of these back when I posted childe's but then I just never got around to it Idk why because they were cute and people wanted more of them and I actually have one for scaramouche in my drafts?? so here's sandrone

all little siblingification posts

Sandrone is not the fondest of her family, and I really don't think she ever has been, but there are exceptions, as with everything. She still holds you dear to her even now.

She misses your affections, really, like being sat in front of you while you would fix her hair. She likes how it feels as you brush the knots out of her hair, gentle enough not to hurt too much and overly apologetic to every noise she makes so that you know she's not too hurt by it. She doesn't know how you did it, just that she would recreate it in a heartbeat.

There were also the times you'd carry her around on your back, body tired and walking becoming too difficult. While her parents didn't want to hear of it, you were on your knees in a heartbeat, offering she gets on. Sandrone liked how close she got to be to you, snuggling up to your back, arms loosely around your neck as she looked over your shoulder and watched the streets go by. Your parents never liked your doing that, but you never seemed to care, laughing it off and carrying on, refusing to put her down.

You didn't care if she denied her liking for things or hid her overexcitement. The moment she wanted to go somewhere, you would take her if you could. Festivals, stores, events, the theatre if you had the money. You would save up every single mora you worked for to be able to take her to the theatre for her birthday and let her watch the performance. She was only vaguely aware of how little your parents contributed toward that, thinking they had been a part of it just as you told her it was a gift from all of you.

She'd go on talking about it for weeks, then start again by the time her next birthday came.

She loved the snacks you'd sneak her, buying her things while the two of you were out and feeding them to her over your shoulder, even your own snacks, which she claimed to not want, but would gobble up without a hint of hesitation before admitting they were only "Ok".

Along with these trips she remembers, Sandrone treasures every doll you made her. Even the wonky ones you tried to make by hand when you were a little short on cash. They weren't particularly pretty in a conventional sense and didn't have the same flawless charm as many dolls, nor were they made of porcelain.

Your handmade fabric dolls are imperfectly perfect. The eyes are a bit misaligned, and maybe the mouth is crooked. The arms aren't the same length either, but it hardly matters to her. It was your gift to her, and though she couldn't sit with you and marvel at how beautiful she was like your other gifts of dolls, she could certainly do that herself.

She could sit those dolls among her collection and treat them like priceless works of care and passion because they were. You may not be and probably never will be a famous dollmaker, but they're the most valuable in her heart.

No famous artist would make something that unprofessional, but something about that makes it better. It was made with your love for her.

Besides, she's still sleeping with the first one you made her. Porcelain dolls don't make very good bed buddies. Especially not when trying to sneak into your sibling's bed in the middle of the night to cuddle them where you feel safest. Somehow even if she's so sure she can go back to sleep after she wakes up, she will lay there for what feels like hours (it has been five minutes) and try to sleep only to concede that the other way to sleep is to go get in your bed and cuddle you.

She usually wakes up without you, wrapped up in blankets to keep her warm, and to you shaking her awake after leaving her to sleep in, probably because she stayed up too late. Sandrone's presence is not always unwanted, but you wish she'd stop staying up until ungodly hours of the night to do whatever it is she's doing at that hour, but at least you cover for her. You always tell your parents she's off playing, all the while knowing that you've concealed her in your bed and wait until there's an opportunity to drag her out of bed, clothe and feed her.

It's nice to sleep in sometimes.

Every time you try to leave, there's a child-sized growth attached to your leg, begging you to stay and play with her, usually because she's bored and has no one else willing to entertain her. You wish you could, but know you have to pull her off, kiss her head, and set her back down on the floor.

She wishes you would kiss her forehead in that way even now.

CROSSPOSTED ON AO3

[snorlaxlovesme]

what is your favorite line/section of your sick CXS fic? It is so good and I love when authors can share some of their thoughts!

i feel so spoiled with these messages from you, thank you for being so kind my godd

(aforementioned sickfic)

it's hard to choose favorite lines bc genuinely i do love the whole fic so much. a lot of the time i'm writing off the cuff and it just flows out of me in one or two sittings (it's why i'm a one-shot writer) but this was a story that took me months to complete because of all the planning involved (and absolutely fruitless research into Chinese herbal soups, since literally NONE of that research made it into the fic lmao) and so the whole thing feels really special and different from my other stories just because of how much thought was put into it.

it took a long time, but i adored writing the second half, getting to write the same day over again and try to make it identical while FEELING totally different. having Lu Guang totally in pieces over every little change he accidentally makes to the timeline was mwaa *chef's kiss*

i think my favorite line was what i eventually pulling from to make the summary on AO3

"Lu Guang is so tired. He wishes he could freeze this conversation, this whole day,��and go nap for a thousand hours. The stress of it all is sucking the marrow from his bones. He wishes he could do today over again. He doesn’t know if he’d have the strength to do today over again."

idk i just feel like it really encapsulates the struggle Lu Guang goes through in this fic and might literally go through on a day to day basis trying to re-live the timeline. like i'm sure every misstep feeling like something Lu Guang would want to do over, but how many times can he handle that, emotionally? like this day mentally broke him and it's literally the most nothing day. Lu Guang forgot to make one phone call and almost suffered cardiac arrest because of it.

plus its very sweet that Cheng Xiaoshi, sick as a dog and feeling down on himself for being left alone all day, comforts Lu Guang after this moment because he can see Lu Guang is going through like a panic-induced existential crisis and mistakes it for Lu Guang ALSO feeling ill, sweet boy ♥

i also really liked the simplicity of these lines (it includes spoilers so look away if you wanna read the fic first. )

But Lu Guang thinks of the tear-streaked smile after Cheng Xiaoshi took that first bite. Spending every waking moment agonizing over his next step won’t get him anywhere. Instead, Lu Guang folds up that smile and tucks it into a corner of his mind for safekeeping. Cheng Xiaoshi thanked him for today. Maybe that is enough.

that part wasn't in the original draft. these lines are in response to CXS thanking Lu Guang for caring for him and i think i had a bit of prose where LG internally laments that he spent half the day ignoring CXS and only took care of him when it was clear Qiao Ling wasn't going to be able to, so the thanks wasn't really deserved. or something self deprecating like that

i had sent my "final draft" to a friend after revising some bits in the flashback and said "i wanna post it but i feel like i need to mess with the ending still. it feels off" my friend insisted what i had was great but i didn't know if the last line of the fic ("Timeline be damned") felt earned. Lu Guang had been a slave to the timeline for the entirety of the story, allowing him to kind of/sort of say "fuck you" to the timeline for a brief moment felt like it was going against everything i had just established, of how IMPORTANT keeping to the timeline was to Lu Guang for the sake of being able to save Cheng Xiaoshi in the future.

it was my friend that gave me the idea to write a simple thesis line that shows what Lu Guang has learned from this. that disaster is definitely a potential outcome in Lu Guang's crazy plan, but seeing Cheng Xiaoshi at peace is enough to make him want to try. like you said in your comment on the fic, if you went back in time, you'd want to be kinder. those lines are Lu Guang reminding himself that seeing CXS at peace has an emotional effect on Lu Guang as well.

ALSO idk the "fold up his smile and tucks it in his mind" bit is cute okay? it's a very cute sentence and i'm proud i wrote it lol

this is very long so i'm gonna stop rambling but again THANK YOU so much for asking me this and for all your sweet messages. i truly can't get over how wonderful it's been talking about this story with you, it's only made me love it more and i already thought it was my magnum opus lmao

[seventeenytiny]

disclaimer if you feel uncomfortable writing this please don't write it‼️‼️

Ok can you write stray kids and reader having a movie night and reader is sitting on Felix's lap and has a small little vibrator while it's on inside her she is cockwarming Felix, idk why but it sounds so hot.🫠🫠🫠😩😩😩🥵🥵🥵

Thank you and I hope your doing well and don't forget to drink lots of water and get lots of sleep!!

Man… this ask has been sitting in my ask box since July 😭. My dear anon, believe it or not, I did start to write something along these lines a long time ago but it has been sitting in my drafts for months untouched. Should I post it unfinished? Should I hold onto it until I finish it? Will I ever finish it? All questions we should be asking. I hope you are doing well anon

[thursdayygrrrl]

hairstyles and revelations

⌦ .｡.:*♡

characters: cassie howard x gn!reader (they have hair long enough to style)

genre: very very very slight angst if you squint, mostly fluff, kinda idiots in love, first kiss

summary/excerpt: Maddy, Kat, and BB were supposed to be there but they all ditched. Maddy said she was going to be with Nate (which you thought was a lie since you all knew they weren’t on speaking terms at the moment, but you just let her go anyway because you didn’t want to put up with a fight). Kat said she had “things to do” and didn’t elaborate further while BB just ghosted. Leaving you and Cassie alone.

word count: 2,011

a/n: idk how to feel abt this ole draft but i thought it wouldn’t hurt to post since someone might wanna read it. also, the title sucks, it’s a bit self-indulgent, and it isn’t proofread (english isn't really my first language pls bear with me) so... don’t expect too much but happy reading anyways!

You and Cassie were in your room and you were nervous out of your mind. You had a small crush on her when you first met, but you were sure it was a superficial attraction solely based on looks. Once you spent more time with these girls, you weren’t quite sure if your crush on the blonde was still superficial. You could tell by your heartbeat and the million thoughts that were flooding your head.

One does not get this nervous when hanging out with a friend. Or at least a friend who you were pretty sure you were good at faking your feelings in front of.

Maddy, Kat, and BB were supposed to be there but they all ditched. Maddy said she was going to be with Nate (which you thought was a lie since you all knew they weren’t on speaking terms at the moment, but you just let her go anyway because you didn’t want to put up with a fight). Kat said she had “things to do” and didn’t elaborate further while BB just ghosted. Leaving you and Cassie alone.

When you hung out with her, it was always in a group setting. You thought she had discovered your crush on her and didn’t want to be around you alone because it made her uncomfortable.

You got the memo. It’s happened before, with your former “friends”.

You let that thought pass while scrolling through Netflix, trying to choose a movie to watch. She took in your room through her eyes. You didn’t know it, but she was trying to capture every tiny detail of you. Every poster up on your walls, every trinket on your bedside table, every book on your shelves. She wanted to know more than just the surface, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask you. Instead, she settled with silently admiring you from afar.

You position yourself and the laptop on your bed and finally clicked play on something.

When she hears it start playing, she makes her way over and sits next to you. You hand her a pillow while she asks you a question.

“What are we watching, Y/N?” 

“Bodies Bodies Bodies.” 

“Cool.” 

She nods. Both of you are unsure what to do now, so you let the movie fill the awkward silence that took over. You decide to calm down. Or at least try your best to do so. With that, you let yourself pay full attention to the movie despite having already seen it before. 

You don’t notice Cassie catching glimpses of you. She takes in your eyes, the curve of your cheek, the pinkness of your lips, and your silky hair. Specifically, the way it lays and flows, how you unconsciously play with it, and how you never seem to do anything with it. The most “done-up” your hair had ever been, at least to her, was during the winter formal. It was curled, made to frame your face. Simple, understated, and perfect. She couldn’t look away from you that night, and neither can she now.

When the movie hits a lull, you finally look at Cassie, only to catch her staring right at you.

“Woah, why are we… Do I have something on my face?” 

“Um, no, I was just—just looking at you.” 

She sounds flustered as she looks away, averting her gaze from you to your sheets

“Okay. May I ask why?” 

“It’s just, I think your hair looks good like all the time.” 

“Oh. Tha—” 

You didn’t know she paid that much attention to you. 

She cuts you off. A habit of hers you’ve grown fond of.

“Not saying that you should always be styling it or whatever. You should do what makes you comfortable and all but,” She hesitates. “I can’t help but think of braiding it.” 

“Huh?” 

“You know those braids we have during pep rallies and games? I do those and I wanna see what they look like on you.” 

You knew, you even saw her do Maddy’s hair before these events. Some of those braids looked intricate. You vividly remember thinking that Cassie was good with her hands. 

God, you need to get your mind out of the gutter. 

The thought of her hands running through your hair always seemed enticing. You’ll admit you fantasized about it sometimes. Maybe this would be a good way to grow closer to her. And, let’s be honest, you couldn’t say no to her.

“Sure, let me get a comb and some elastics.” 

You got up to find these items and sat in the middle of your bed once you had them. You rested your hands between your thighs, unsure of what to do with them now that you placed the supplies beside you. The mattress dipped as Cassie positioned herself behind you, on her knees to get a better view of the top of your head. She combed your hair to get rid of any tangles and parted it down the middle with gentle fingers. Then she got to work, setting aside the left portion of your hair to work with the right one first. You began to speak, letting the dialogue of the movie serve as background noise.

“I like hanging out with you, Cassie.” 

“Me too, Y/N. Thanks for having me over even without the others.” 

You waved her off to indicate that she didn’t have to thank you. 

“Are you liking the movie?” 

In truth, Cassie was only paying attention to you.

“I am! I love Alice.” 

“She’s so funny, I love her!” 

Another silence, save for the movie. You decide to speak up again.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Why is it that we—um, we never hang out? Like just the two of us?” 

She doesn’t respond.

Shit. Fuck, shit, motherfucking shit. 

Sometimes, you really should think harder before speaking.

“Sorry. I don’t know why I asked you that. I—fuck, um.” 

You swore under your breath. It was all you could think to say. She snaps you out of yourself.

“Hey, no. It’s okay.” 

She pauses, takes a breath, and continues.

“You never asked before. And I thought you didn’t like me so I didn’t wanna force myself on you.” 

The thought of Cassie thinking you didn’t like her made you want to vomit. Because the truth was that you liked her so much, it made you want to scream. To fall off a balcony. To hit something with a baseball bat. To do stupid, cheesy, romantic things that she always wanted from whatever guy she was seeing. Stuff like posting each other on your Instagram stories, wearing matching outfits, calling each other “honeybunch” or some other cringe-worthy pet name.

“What?” 

You asked exaggeratedly, dragging out the last syllable like a sitcom character caught in a lie, in a vain attempt to disguise the nervousness in your voice. 

“Remember when we first met? I asked you what your name was and it took you. like, a full minute to respond. And the last time we were all together at Kat’s house, you didn’t wanna sit beside me even if it was the only spot left. And it’s not like we talk outside of the group all that much.” 

You were grateful that you weren’t face-to-face with her at that moment because your eyes were freakishly wide. You didn’t realize that she noticed how you avoided her and how awkward you were around her. Regaining some composure, you mumbled.

“Thought you wouldn’t notice that.” 

“Well, I did.” 

Against all better judgment, you decided to just tell her and get it over with. People take risks all the time. You convince yourself that another one wouldn’t hurt. You unconsciously brace yourself for whatever’s about to happen.

“I like you, Cassie.” 

“Yeah, I know. You already said that, Y/N.” 

She says. You can hear the slight smirk in her voice, which will always be one of your favorite sounds. 

“No, I said I like hanging out with you. What I mean now is that—is I like like you. As in I have a crush on you.” 

Cassie’s fingers stop moving. You thought your question was bad? Now you think you’ve gone too far, that you were too blunt, that you fucked up yet another friendship all because you caught feelings. She could rip your hair off your scalp and you wouldn’t blame her.

The silence from her was unbearable. You tried to pivot, moving to face her, but she held you still. Her grip on your hair remained firm, not allowing you to turn around.

“Wait, don’t move. I don’t wanna have to redo this.” 

“But—” 

She interrupts you again. Using your words, she confesses. The words come out in a whisper.

“I like like you too, Y/N.” 

Now, it’s your turn to fall silent. You blink dumbfoundedly as it sinks in. 

“Wait. You—you’re lying.” 

She finishes up, securing your hair neatly with an elastic. You could feel the slight pressure on your scalp. Cassie moves her hands to the other side. 

How is she still so calm about this? 

"I’m not! I really do like you. And that’s why I respected your decision to not be with me outside of the group.” 

“The only reason I didn’t make moves to talk or hang out with just you is because I thought you already knew I had a thing for you and you got weirded out or something!” 

She couldn’t help but laugh at the incredulity of your shared predicament, especially at all the awkwardness the two of you could have avoided if only one of you were brave enough to have confessed earlier. You joined her in this laughter.

“What?” She asks, puzzled and in between giggles. “There’s no way I’d ever get weirded out by you, Y/N. I thought you would be the one weirded out by me. The dumb blonde cheerleader…” She trails off.

“Oh, god, no! There’s no way I ever thought that about you, Cassie. I mean, you’re—you’re thoughtful, attentive, smart, funny…”

She tried to stop herself from smiling so wide while she fussed with your hair. You trail off.

What was that word again? 

“You’re ethereal,” you whispered.

Found it.

She had heard all sorts of words from guys before, but it never felt real. It was as if they were reading from a script. But hearing it from you was the only way it felt genuine. She could tell you were speaking from the heart. You made her feel seen.

The absence of her fingers was your cue to turn around. Once you do, the both of you bashfully avoid each other��s eye contact. 

The air felt charged, You knew you had to do something, anything, so you begin to tilt your face to see her. But she cuts you off. Her lips crash into yours in a messy but passionate kiss.

This must be a dream.

Your right hand rests on her thigh as the other one pinches your own. The sensation serves to prove that this is, in fact, not a dream.

She keeps going, the desperation in her movements almost like a plea to explore you. You allow her to take the lead. She loosely wraps her arms around your neck while yours are now around her waist. She pulls away, both of you breathing heavily and warm all over. She whispers.

“I’ve wanted to do that for the longest time, Y/N.”

You look into her eyes, pleadingly, for a sign that this is real.

You look and all you can see is the love she has for you. It’s practically pouring out of her. You hope she sees the same from you because, by god, you feel it bursting through you. She continues.

“I’m so glad we’re friends but I’d be lying if I told you that I want us to stay like that. Just friends.”

This time, you beat her to it.

“If you’re asking me to be with you, Cass, then my answer is yes. It will always be yes.”

[dandylovesturtles]

For the ask game! :)

LMNSTU

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Usually as I'm writing it (assuming I don't just do it all in one sitting), I'll come back and give it a read over and edit before I start back to work, and then I read over it once more before I post it. that's usually it though. I'm lazy when it comes to editing lol. pretty much all my fics are first drafts.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

well, I do still want to write the fic about Splinter's son (that he didn't know he had) stumbling into their lives post-movie. I have a post about it on here somewhere.

the fic I MEANT to write after I was done with IMBI (before a different AU plagued my brain, which I've been actively working on) is a fic whose working title is "Mikey and Donnie's Step-by-Step Guide for Saving Your Doomed Family," which is the obligatory peepaw fic. It follows Mikey and Donnie, post-movie, building a cross-dimensional time machine to try and save the bad future Hamatos and bring them to the saved present. It's told from Mikey and Donnie's POVs and has a heavy focus on their relationship, both pre- and post-Krang invasion.

I do still really want to write it, it's just that this other thing completely consumed my creative energy. oops.

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

uhhh idk. I have lots of ideas all the time that I'll probably never write just because, you know, time and labor lol, but not really any I can think of to put here.

this is the nice thing about fandom kinkmemes (or whatever you would call a SFW kinkmeme), if you have an idea you don't want to write yourself you can just go drop it in a comment and let someone else write it.

I have already answered S

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

uhhhh I think my biggest thing that is Popular In Fandom but I Don't Like is AUs that bring fantastical canons into our reality and like, have the characters going to college or working office jobs or whatever. so "modern AUs," except it bums me out that that's the name we settled on because actual modern times in the setting of a fantasy canon could be really fun! Like, I don't want the "modern AU" Dragon Age to have Hawke working at a coffee shop and taking writing classes at the local uni, I want it to have them fighting darkspawn on top of a skyscraper. or like, you can have the Gaang going to college, but why can't they bend anymore! just let them have it!

FFXV is one of my favorite canons purely because it actually shows some of the thought behind like, what if a world had normal modern technology (they're driving around in modern cars and using smartphones) but also monsters and gods and magic. but so many fantasy settings in fiction are either medieval or do the bullshit where you have the "magic world" hidden from the "normal world". no! boring! I want to know how legislative proceedings are affected when congressmen can challenge each other to wizard duels. expand your mind!

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

this is list is not in any particular order:

taizi is an amazingly talented writer, there are so many lines in their fics that make me go "wow", and they have such a grasp on character and emotion. they also have some great One Piece fics!

MagicalSpaceDragon is another absolutely incredible writer. their "theseus, and" series is particularly good, but I actually have them in my bookmarks for one of my favorite ROTTMNT fics of all time, "i guess we've really been out of touch (but can it really be so serious)"

and reccing my friend Kiaxet, who is also an amazing writer who mixes hilarity, angst, and heartwarming moments with a deft hand. I'm so excited for the rest of her "Siblingquest 20XX" fic, but all her fics are amazing!

and while they aren't a TMNT writer, I wanna shout out Asidian, who has written several of my favorite FFXV fics (including and especially "Running Behind", which is one of the best MT!Prompto fics, right up there with "poor wayfaring stranger"), and also has some amazing Rise of the Guardians fics (I especially love "Bits and Pieces", which has my favorite trope of "hungry character gets fed", but "Every Boy And Girl" also makes me cry everytime).

thanks for the ask!

[jazz-the-writer]

Drunk Nights & Desperate Kisses

Mafia Maid Service short Story -Bang Chan NSFW-

this was originally named Drunk Mafia chan Idea in my drafts and there were like 2 comments demanding another chapter for this on AO3 is why I am posting this. For my fic's I think if goes without being said they're explicit and mature content only? idk I see warnings on other fan fic posts and I never really do that for my stuff cause I wanna say for the most part you kinda have to be looking for my stuff to find it... anyway if you haven't read my fics before

text like this means they're speaking in korean.

He gets home late one night drunk aF and all he wants to do is stuff his face in her chest and bitch about how all the guys were annoying and all he wanted to do was come home and stuff her with his cock, but he’s too drunk and emotional and all he wants now is to cuddle her and breathe in her scent and listen to her heart while she plays with his hair and he only gets like a demanding five year old when he’s drinking.

The sound of a loud pounding on the door is what woke me up. I don’t remember falling asleep on the couch, the warm shower I took after cleaning the house is what made me feel cozy enough in my pajamas. I had planned to watch a movie while he was gone and the screen was still. Not even ending credits were scrolling it was just suggestions for the next pick. The pounding in the door sounded louder and that was when I stumbled out of my seat and went for the door. A chilly wind from outside waking me up more as I saw Chan with his arm slung over the shoulders of another man. He was quiet and to the point, asking if I could take care of the rest, as he handed Chan off to me. After the door closed I couldn’t help the squeak of surprise at the feeling of Chan taking a deep breath in at my neck. He seemed heavier in his drunken state, pressing me against the door, nuzzling into my neck.

“Smells’o good”

“I think it’s best if we get you to bed”

I honestly tried, practically begged him to let me take him to bed. Some way or another he kept finding a way to change our course. He’d lick at my neck or grab at my backside while I stumbled to take him to his room. Instead he lead us to the couch, sitting in my spot and tugging me on top of him, he pulled me in and kept taking in deep breaths. I had tried my best to hold back the noises as he traced over my chest with his lips and tongue. The nights had gotten hotter and tonight was especially hot. He made it difficult to avoid his mouth and the thin pajamas I had on were no help. It was when his teeth bit into my skin that I let a whine out and bucked my hips into his.

“Tha’s M’good girl”

“Chan please”

It was no use, my body betrayed me, he had me whining and moaning as he marked me. His lips were a dark pink from all that he had done. I only saw them after he pulled away from another mark he’d left. My eyes teared up and I was whining for him to stop. He stared up at me with his glossy eyes. why did he look so innocent?! He had been anything but innocent with his mouth. His tongue had left a trail that I was still trembling from. Here he was staring up at me, begging me to fold, I couldn’t stop myself from pressing a kiss to his warm mouth. He was so needy, his hands gripped at me tighter, while his tongue continued to violate me in the most sensual way. I couldn't help the soft whines I let slip, his hands grabbing at me, he was pulling me in closer. His fingers dug into my thighs as I bucked into his hips, he tasted like liquor, I’ve only seen him drunk a few times before this. He didn't usually go out drinking, at least not that I had noticed, and we never really spoke about the way he behaved when he did drink. The first time was before we had sex, he had stumbled into my room and shook my bed, he had begged me to make him some ramen. Looking back at the memory it was very obvious that he had been staring at my body. He was even a little overly thankful like a five year old when he wrapped his arms around my waist. Hugging me while he nuzzled his face into me repeatedly saying’ thank you’. It made me giggle back then. His needy and sloppy kiss is what pulled me back, an embarrassing string of saliva connecting us, after pulling away from him my hand quickly went up to wipe at my mouth. His eyes were glossy and looked up at me in awe and the blush I felt over my face made everything so much warmer. His hands pawed at my body, squeezing at my back side, feeling over my chest and then his fingers slipped up to wrap around my neck. He pulled me in for another filthy kiss, his tongue continuing to play with me swallowing the desperate whine I let out, and I couldn't help it when my hips bucked against him again.

“there’s nothing to feel if you do that baby girl. M’not the best at drunk sex” His words came out in a mumble, he sounded so cute when he was drunk, I was so used to seeing him calm and collected. It felt like there was a prominent shift in the dynamics, he seemed more demanding and less focused, there was a more primal urge to him.

“I don’t care, I just- I need to feel you” we were so close, lips almost pressed to each other, he was more unfiltered and his grip so much tighter. He was more unpredictable, forcing a small gasp from me as he gripped on to me and stood up, he was mostly steady for the walk and I tried my best to not distract him. My arms were around his shoulders, before he found the small hallway table and dropped almost everything off to set me down and mouth at my neck. His fingers traced over my thighs while he bit down onto my neck and left sloppy marks on me. It wasn’t long before he picked me up again and forced another squeaky noise from me. The walk to his room was more of a stumble as he fell to the bed on top of me, tugging off my clothes as best he could, he was surprisingly more impatient and whiny when he got like this. The last time he got like this I ended up with most of my clothes undone and his head pressed flush to my almost naked chest. He had laid his body completely on me and his arms were around my back while I held him and played with his hair. I couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed or not by the drool he’d left on my skin when we woke up. It hadn’t bothered me, I had no idea how cute I thought it was until I was giggling to myself while I wiped it away with my shirt. The next thing I knew I was the one walking out looking messy while he made breakfast in just his tank top and sweats.

This was different, he seemed more interested in taking off more than he did last time, his mouth pressed a deep kiss to my lips before he slipped down to mouth more at my neck. His hands were more rough when he tugged at my clothes and gripped at my skin. I couldn’t help the small moans and whines from the delicious pain he left. He bit down on my hip before tugging at my shorts, there was a sting of pain and I heard the fabric rip as he pulled on them, his hands worked at the clothing before tossing it onto the floor. His warm hands soothed the sting of his harsh movements as he fit himself between my thighs. He hadn’t made it this far last time and I didn’t want to get my hopes up. His mouth felt warm, his tongue licked at me carefully, he seemed different now that he was between my legs. In my attempt at control I tried to hold back the small noises I made. His hand pressed flat to my abdomen and I could feel myself trembling at the feeling of his tongue inside me. His soft hair tickling my thighs, I couldn’t control the whine that left me, his mouth slowed down. A long drawn out moan leaving my throat, it felt like he was savoring the taste of me, my hands moved to hold him by his hair. His tongue slipping out to lick at my clit I couldn’t help the whining, the filthy noises his mouth made against me, I tried to stop myself. I desperately tried not to call out his name, his hands holding my hips in place, his tongue making everything so wet.. My hands hadn’t been in his hair long before he pulled away and bit down on my hip again. The familiar sound of his belt coming undone had made my skin go cold. His warm mouth finding mine in a filthy kiss, my taste still on his mouth, while his fingers pushed into me. He pulled away only to press his forehead into my collarbone before I felt his warm and heavy cock pushing into me.

“Fuck, m’so hard, baby I dunno if I can last long. You feelso good”

The moment happened so fast before I could process it. His teeth practically sunk into my collar bone, one hand slithering up my torso to gather my wrists and pin me down, one of his hands slid down to grip at my thigh. He had never been so forceful and it had me writhing in a dizzy mess of delicious pain. His hips rocked into me quicker, his mouth marking me while I continued to whine out for him, I was struggling to breathe. A loud smack in the air, the rough way he pulled away from me had somehow brought tears to my eyes. His gaze on me was glossy and he had slowed his hips almost to a stop. I felt overwhelmed and his gaze made the burning in my chest so much more intense. He watched as I gasped and struggled to move my hips toward his. I craved for his warm finish, he stared at me so intently that I couldn’t read him, even now his stare was blank and seemed like he was hiding something. His forehead pressed to mine as he pushed deep into me while I arched my hips into his. The brush of his lips on mine, the warm breath teasing me, he hadn’t kissed me in so long.

“Tell me what you want baby, can’t help if you don’t say anything”

I had not been above begging even so it was embarrassing to do so, I’d never admit to it, but I loved his kisses. There was no hesitation once he asked me to beg. In a desperate voice it was all I could to muster ‘kisses’, ‘want you’, ‘want your kisses’ all while whining and wriggling my hips into his. I could hear him but in the moment all I was focused on was the loud pounding in my chest and the blood rushing through my ears. In my daze of pain and pleasure his low hum of ‘I love it when you beg Fr’me’ it didn’t take more than a few more thrusts. His thumb rubbed lazy and pressured circles into my clit while he drank in my moans and whimpers. In a high pitched whine I came all while he stayed close to me, his lips still close to mine after I gasped into his kiss. He had whimpered and trembled into me, his breathing shaky as he hid his face in my neck, only a deep sigh from me as I felt his warmth inside me. I trembled into him and I felt the sting in my wrists as I tried to get a hand free. He tightened his grip as he came, I could still feel the aftershocks of my orgasm pulsing around him, he was still so hard inside. His grip fell away from me as he grabbed at my hips and lazily rolled to his back and brought me with him. My wrists felt sore as I pressed my palms to his chest. I couldn’t help it as I continued to tremble and rock my hips into him. My vision was blurred through my watery eyes and my chest heaving as I shakily laid on his chest. My body was spent, my muscles were on fire, the marks he made were what felt the most painful. He kissed at the top of my head and I nuzzled into his damp chest.

“I want you again” his words came out in a pant, before I could reply with how tired I was, he sat up abruptly. A whine of pain leaving me, my thighs burned, everything was still so sensitive. He had been so eager he didn’t realize how rough he had been with me until the moment he looked down at me. His fingers brushed over his marks on my neck and chest. The bruises on my thighs and wrists were still so fresh the skin just looked red and irritated.

“Y/n, why didn’t you tell me I was hurting you?” He held my hand in his as I hid my face in his chest. Thinking of what to respond with when all I could remember is how much I enjoyed it. It was embarrassing to admit and say it out loud, but then he had me repeat it, the smug look on his face as he stared me down while I said ‘I liked it’ made me want to smack him. All the energy had left my body after everything we did together.

“I want you again too, but I’m so tired.” He pressed his forehead to mine with the same smug smirk on his face as he said ‘I can wait’. He’d rolled us around and fixed the sheets. I thought I’d have time to recover and his hand on my hip had been comforting until I felt his fingers spreading between my thighs. My abdomen was sore and I couldn’t help but rock into his fingers. I knew as soon as I felt his body inch closer he’d want to keep going.

What is he doing to me?

What am I doing with him?!

————————

Kay so this was a very short update. I wanted to do more but I feel like it’s good this way. Of course they had another messy morning and maybe Chan got lucky again who knows? All I know is that all they want to do is know each other, but one think keeps coming in between them actually making any progress, the fact that Chan is so secretive that all he can bring himself to share with her is his body. Y/n is too indecisive and the only thing she really knows is she wants him to have her in every way possible.

Ehh who knows.

There is most definitely an actual plan for a second chapter but it needs so much more work. This is so short but it still took me forever I’m sorry :,)

Also I’m trying to finish and edit a different story I’m thinking it’ll either be my Mafia Changbin or my artsy college boy Hyunjin. We’ll see. I hope this was enough for the two people that commented they wanted more. lol thanks for the comments and reads guys.

[saskiavalentineapologist]

sketch time

you will sit down. you will look at my horrible little women. And You Will Appreciate Them

no this is NOT going under a cut you will see the blood sweat and tears i put into belialah's demon form and you will appreciate it, me, and saskia's off the charts world class monsterfucker status

we got saskia. we're familiar with saskia--or at least you should be. go look at the art by korppipoika and give them so many notes--this post will wait. and while you're out, look at the post about the matriarchs too. and if you're not up to date on saskia and belialah, here's another one for your list. i'll be here when you get back.

up to date? excited? horny? me too!!

so we got those two. in order for the images: saskia (recent), belialah (first draft, still happy with this and haven't been able to capture this vision since)

we got their dynamic:

saskia being a bitch and belialah being, despite everything, head over heels. still can't quite nail belialah's human face, but we're learning

...it took me a long time to nail down belialah's demon form. it went through a lot of drafts---many of which i am not sharing. this one is the oldest one i'm willing to share:

i believe this is draft 3? patch notes from earlier drafts: 4 fingers instead of three, took out "humanoid" eyes, added floaty halo bits. other than that, this is what it's mostly stayed true to. chase gave me an inspo and i remixed it and made it worse because i love body horror. so we have this! extra joint between the wrist and elbow, loads and loads of eyes, sharp teeth (yum!), wings, and a broken halo plus the big horn. love her. she has spider legs below her waist--she has "skirts" that are made from her skin that she usually wears (has?) over them.

made some eensy sketches for ideas:

i tinkered on size, proportion, posture, etc. it's vague, but not exact for either of them. i want a bigger height difference and this is for me first and foremost

i settled on this body type for saskia:

no nipples so she's not naked :) this is for anatomy reference, tumblr. ANATOMY. be so nice to me ;-;

ignore the stuff at the edges, this is part of a larger project idk if i'll finish where i look at all the matriarchs and their body types. saskia is the most...well, besides ethalind, the most hourglass shape. this is the most recent drawing of her i have besides the one at the very end, this is the one i would say is most canon. hence why it is included--the last one i have doesn't quite hit right for me. still working on consistency.

as i improved my art, i wanted to take another stab at belialah. which meant figuring out her lower half.

i did these ones reeaaally recently. i looked at so many things for inspo: crabs, spiders, human pelvises, centaur speculative biology, drider speculative biology, an introspective look at how much of a monsterfucker i am, etc. until i found something i was happy with. these are within the last few days. the lil sketches at the far bottom right of the first page are what i settled on. after that, i tinkered with how she looks with skirts vs no skirts---ignore the sword, it's no longer accurate to what it actually looks like, but that's endgame shit and no spoilers :)

i'm really happy with how she's turned out and i think she's kickass and awesome and i can't wait to beat her and saskia into the ground.

and then we have:

team gaslight gatekeep girlboss :)

i drew this last night!! really happy with how my art is coming along. i hesitated on whether to draw the skirts, because i think the spider legs are so fucking cool and i know logically the skirts are there but tbh its funner drawing the spider legs than the skirts :(

i want to make it very clear: belialah is submissive in the way a guard dog is submissive, to quote a post i once tagged as gilt and lost. belialah is loyal, devoted, willing to protect--but will wait for an order before acting

btw, to make something else clear: saskia? saw the demon form first. is more attracted to the demon form than the human form. is far more willing to smash with belialah in demon form. i love my weirdest little freak of a woman <3

ok that's all bye

[pleasestaywithmedarling]

I am so so close to releasing my next chapter. It's literally sitting in my drafts just waiting for me to hit post. But like...I pulled my punches on this one. There's a scene that was going to be so much worse, and then while I was writing I just couldn't bring myself to actually go through with it. But the version in my drafts feels...inaccurate? Which is not possible for fiction? Idk but that's why it's been stuck in draft limbo, cause I feel like it's lying about what actually happened lol But good god do I not want to actually write out the scene the way it first came to my head :(

Does anyone else ever have this problem???