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cathrrrine · 9 months

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Perfect / Love Won’t Die

Dominick “Sonny” Carisi x Reader • Law and Order SVU • Domestic Fluff, AFAB!Reader

Summary: Sonny happily holds the bouquet of flowers he bought for his girlfriend only for her to open the door and start crying. He immediately panics, but soon finds himself amused when she reveals the true reason for her tears. AO3

A/N: I’ve never posted any of my SVU imagines, but I had to with this one :) Happy 2024! My resolution is to post more of my work so I’m digging through all my drafts and posting them lol. Enjoy husband material Carisi <3

In all the six months you had been dating Sonny, there were never many problems that couldn’t be resolved with a simple conversation or a hug and a kiss on the cheek. As far as Sonny was concerned, it was the perfect relationship. He had gotten to know all your little habits; likes and dislikes, pet peeves, niche obsessions. Six months wasn’t exactly a super long time but it wasn’t short either. After only half a year of dating each other, he’d confidently testify that he had fallen in love with you deeply, enough to want to spend the rest of his life with you. He was happy to get married, have babies, grow old together…the whole shebang.

Things were going steady with you. He couldn’t imagine himself being with anybody else, and he was over the moon to know that you felt the samw way. Long late-night conversations about the future the two of you dreamed of revealed that you wanted him to be a part of it as much as he wanted you. Sure, Sonny was aware of how much of a (hopeless) romantic he could be sometimes, but that was in the past, and all of those relationships weren’t with the right people. His sisters had been talking his ear off ever since high school, warning him about women that would only break his heart. It made him wince just to think about all the red flags they ticked off angrily; gold-diggers, manipulators, emotionally unstable women, emotionally unavailable women…and the likes of it. That and their own broken-heart experiences that prompted very fuelled lectures of examples of men Sonny shouldn’t follow always rang in his mind, even until now.

He’d also been made well aware of how right they were about his exes with a bunch of ‘I told you so’s’ and narrowed eyes, but those relationships were in the past and he was much, much younger (and dumber) than he is now. He only had a couple of serious relationships in his adulthood, which ended up not being the right fit for either parties. Then, his love life got buried under the heavy, heavy load of police work and law school and he never found the time to make himself available in the dating pool. He was always too tired, too beat, too mentally drained. It was never a priority.

Then everything came to a stop and his whole world wouldn’t do anything but revolve around you. Sonny was smitten, like a lovesick puppy who got shot by cupid’s nuclear-powered bazooka as fate would have it.

He never felt this way about anyone in his life before, it was a feeling he relished in and was adamant on not letting go.

You were perfect.

Obviously, you had your flaws, but all only human, none of them fatal. Like how you had a habit of ordering too much food but he ends up being the one to finish it up when you realised your eyes had been bigger than your appetite — but he didn’t mind that at all, in fact he secretly loved being able to feast like a King — or how sometimes, you would arrive 10 minutes late to your dates on one of your busiest weeks, which he never complained about because he had his fair share of being unpunctual as well. Plus, you always made it up to him one way or another.

You were absolutely perfect, inside and out. Sonny thanked God everyday for sending a woman as smart, beautiful and kind as you his way. He’s never felt so lucky.

Sonny knew and loved everything about you, down to your weirdest quirks. If there was a Jeopardy! game where the topic was You, he’d be waving around his trophy like a mad man. What you didn’t tell him, he learned. It was the same way you got to know him. The two of you were always honest with each other, trust being the pillar of your relationship, it was why you got along so well. You knew how to make him happy, as he did for you.

So, why is it that you were crying as he handed you a bouquet of your favourite flowers as soon as you opened the door to your apartment?

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” His sweet smile dropped to a concerned frown, uncomfortable and nervous at your sudden reaction.

There you were in front of him, dressed in your most comfortable pair of pyjama pants and an oversized tee that he was sure once belonged to him, messy hair up that he found extremely adorable. Nothing seemed out of place, except for the fact that…well, you were crying.

He always brought you flowers. Was he late? He glanced at the clock on your wall. No…was it something he said? Something he did? Something…he totally forgot about?

“Nothing- no, everything’s fine, nothing’s wrong.” You sniffed, hugging the fresh bouquet close to your chest, dipping your nose into the floral fragrance to smell it only to find that the tears had triggered an onslaught of snot. That only made you cry more.

The bubble of nerves in Sonny’s chest was bursting at this point, he was almost worried he was having a heart attack. “Doll, you’re crying, something’s wrong.”

He held out an arm to pull you into a hug and you eagerly sunk into his embrace. You buried your face into the fabric of his suit jacket, breathing in what you could of his faded perfume. His calloused hands stroked your hair, softly caressing your head as he cradled it. He gently peeled you off of him to get a better look of your face, now red and eyes puffy from sobbing.

He held your cheeks between his palms and you pouted, looking up at him with sad doe-like eyes, and if that didn’t break his heart that he must not have one because the look on your face was shattering him in every possible way right now. One of his thumbs swiped a fresh tear off your cheek, he felt you nuzzle into his hand.

The tall blond gently led you to your couch and set the flowers down on the coffee table before cuddling up with you close to his chest. You wrapped your arms around him desperately, wanting nothing more than to be absolutely engulfed by everything Sonny — scent, skin and biceps.

“You’re killing me sweetheart, you gotta tell me what’s gotten you all upset like this.” You felt him kiss the top of your head and love bloomed in your chest immediately. “Come on, doll, what’s up?”

You sighed, big and loud, huffing away all the choked up tears with one big breath. “I swear it’s nothing. I’m so stupid.”

He was quiet for a while until you felt his voice vibrate from his chest again, “Was it…me? Did I do something wrong?”

You whipped your head to look at him, only to be greeted with a very worried expression.

Oh, Sonny. Oh, sweet heavenly innocent Sonny. How could you not love this man with every fibre of your being when he’s got that look in his eyes? The one where his pupils are so dilated, you could see your reflection in his big, blue puppy eyes.

How could you have been so careless?! Of course he’d think you were crying because of him, the sweet stupid man — God, you loved him so much. The thought only made you more emotional…and just like that the waterworks came rushing back in.

“Oh, God, Sonny-“ you hiccuped, pulling yourself away from him to put your face in your hands. “I’m so sorry- it’s not your fault at all,”

The lovesick, worried-sick man shot up next to you to pull you into his arms once again, stomach churning at the wave of emotions you were going through. He couldn’t even detective his way through this, his mind going haywire with every sniff that came from you.

“Then what is it?” He tried to keep the panic out of his voice, “Did something happen at work? Is it that asshole again?”

With what he dealt with at his job, it wasn’t out of the question for his mind to be going down that dark path, but he shoved his anger and panic down to focus on your well-being, remaining rational until you were calm.

That made you shoot up to look at him again, words tumbling out of your mouth hurriedly to curb his worries. “No, no! I’m okay, I’m absolutely fine, Todd — that ass — didn’t do anything to me, I promise you, I swear to God. And it’s not you, it’s not anything even remotely related to anything sane at all. I don’t even know why I’m getting all worked up over a bunch of random things, it’s just so—“

“Doll.” Your boyfriend’s voice pulled you out of your rambling. The loving concern that radiated off of him was enough to bring you back to your senses. Gently, he asked again. “What is it?”

You melted immediately, both embarrassed and exhausted from all the sobbing you had been doing. “I’m on my period.”

Oh.

Oh!

“I know, I’m not usually this emotionally affected but my hormones are all over the place and my TV decided to autoplay The Notebook, now I’m a mess.” You sniffed. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have seen me like this, much less deal with me.”

It was only then that the detective noticed the TV screen, paused on Ryan Gosling’s frowning face.

He tried to stifle his amusement, but it came out in a fit of giggles, much to your dismay.

“It’s not funny.” You pouted.

“I just— I thought—“ His laughter consumed him, shoulders shaking as he held up his palms to his face and ran his fingers through his hair, uncaring of how it would mess it up. Sonny leaned back into the couch and continued to laugh with his hands over his face.

“I’m sorry.” Your voice was so quiet it came out like a squeak, ashamed of how you cried like a baby in front of him. Although the two of you spent plenty times over at each other’s places and hanging out with each other, over the six months he knew you, you never had your hormones hit you this hard. It wasn’t uncommon to you, but it wasn’t a regular occurrence either, and it certainly wasn’t an event Sonny had the pleasure of experiencing…until today.

“It’s okay if you’d prefer to be at your own place right now, I totally get it. I won’t be offended in the least, okay? I’ll call you in the morning.” Some men in the past have been weirded out when this happened to you, so you weren’t lying when you said you wouldn’t be offended — it was ‘your fault’ anyway, that was what you had grown accustomed to.

But Sonny, the ever-loving and understanding guy, did not share the same view. Of course not! Raised-with-sisters, loves-his-mother, thoroughly Italian, good-Catholic-man-who-respects-women Sonny, would never in a million years ever even think about being upset with you just because your period messed with your emotions. And that’s why you weren’t sure why you were so surprised when he responded to your offer with a kiss.

This was Sonny. He would never think lowly of you because of something you couldn’t control.

“That’s crazy talk, doll.” He mumbled into the kiss, smiling as he continued to love on your lips. “I’d never leave you alone like this.”

You pulled away a bit to properly look at his face, “Really?”

This was the man your heart belonged to. You don’t know how you didn’t explode when he gave you the most charming smile that ever graced his lips.

“Really.”

Everything you were worried about solved itself into place, like sentient puzzle pieces figuring themselves out with confidence.

“You’re too good for me.”

Unabashedly, you continued to make out with your boyfriend on your couch, a newfound appreciation driving you mad with love.

“I’m only for you, babe. Don’t need anyone or anything else but you.”

———

Now that the two of you were freshened up and settled down with mugs of hot cocoa in your hands, you and Sonny were much more at ease.

There was nothing better to Sonny than to be cuddled up with his girlfriend with her head laying on his chest. You practically clung to the arm draped over your shoulder, making a nest out of his bicep for your face — which reminded him of a koala bear, but he kept that thought to himself. He was so comfortable, so happy that this was his life. His nose pressed against your hair, the scent of your shampoo reminding him of a holiday well-spent together in Mexico. Deja Vu hit him the minute he kissed your head, laughing through his nose when he remembered the events that happened just a few hours prior.

“Hey,” he nudged you with the arm you were glued to. You pulled your focus from the movie you were watching — a comedy, nothing that would make the ‘bloody demon hormones possess me’ as you put it — and raised your eyebrows curiously in response. “I’m just wonderin’…”

“Hmm?”

“Why did you cry when I gave you the flowers?”

You groaned, still somewhat embarrassed at the flurry of emotions you attacked the innocent man with. But you humoured the question anyway, “I opened the door and you were standing there, so handsome and so sickeningly charming, holding up flowers that you brought for me. You should be worried if I didn’t cry.”

“Wow,” he whistled. “I’m really that handsome, huh?”

You playfully hit him in the chest with your fist as you resumed your initial position, “Shut up.” A smirk managed to rip it’s way through your lips. “But mostly, I was crying because I was so sad that the flowers were going to die. I don’t know, just weird how my brain works on my period.”

It was a nonchalant mention, nothing big to you, but it stuck to his mind. Flowers dying made you upset. How precious was that? He catalogued the thought, filing it away for the future. The inkling of humour tempted him, though.

“So, not so much on the handsome part?”

You snorted, “Eh, I’ll give it a 60/40.”

“It should be in the news or something. ‘Guy So Handsome, Makes A Grown Woman Cry’” he gestured in the air as if there was a banner.

“How about, ‘Girl So Hormonal, Makes A Grown Man Cry With Her’?”

“Psh, I didn’t cry.”

“You so were.”

“Was not.”

You laughed, thinking he’d given it up when the sound of the movie began to fade into your hearing again.

“You should come over the precinct, tell the guys how I can make the ladies cry just by showing up at their door.”

He wore that goofy, toothy grin you were so accustomed to whenever he was joking around.

You rolled your eyes. Then decided to mess with him. “Excuse me? Ladies? Plural?”

The grin immediately wiped off of his face. “No- I meant lady, as in singular.”

“Mhmm.”

“I mean— no, that’s not what—“

“Sure, Son.” The monotonous voice you used made him sweat.

“You know you’re the only gal for me! I was just joking…hey, baby, come on, look at me…”

———

Months passed by and relationship milestones came and went. You finally met his family on month eight, and him yours. Month ten, you got a promotion at work and thankfully — not by your doing — Todd left the company. Sonny and the rest of the SVU team made a breakthrough on a case, you met his coworkers you heard so much about for the first time when he brought you along for their celebratory dinner. He was teased relentlessly for ‘keeping such a wonderful woman from us all this time’. You enjoyed the camaraderie that they shared with each other, and felt like you won a prize when they extended it to you.

Time passed by you so fast that you barely noticed it was almost a full year since you and Sonny made it official.

The day of your anniversary, he made reservations for the two of you at a fancy restaurant — Italian, of course. You reminisced the journey of your relationship together over some fine dining and a delightful bottle of wine. The ambiance, mixed with the light-headed feeling from one too many glasses of wine, only made the love you had for Sonny so much more emphasised. It was a dream, to be loved by such an amazing man, to have found your soulmate. If you weren’t at such busy points of your career, you’d literally have his babies right then and there. A couple of mini Sonny’s would do the world good, you pondered. Unbeknownst to you, the subject of your thoughts was thinking the exact same thing, only he was dreaming up a babble of mini You’s instead.

Sonny and you walked home together — he had basically moved into your apartment by now, he was finding it harder and harder to be separated from you at night. Having you next to him made him sleep better, and just generally being around you made him feel better — the two of you never made his move-in an official thing, but there was no need to. It was almost like you shared a telepathic connection. Although, Sonny being Sonny, will make the moving in an official thing whether you needed to or not. Maybe into an actual house, with a backyard and a huge kitchen and a family to raise in to make it a home. One day. Maybe even tomorrow. He’d do anything, anytime with you.

“Got you something, by the way.” He grinned, keys jangling on the doorknob as he swung it open for you.

“Sonny, you didn’t have to.” You blushed. One year together and he still had that effect on you.

“Well, I wanted to.”

While you were taking off your shoes, he used it as a distraction to take it out of the hiding spot he so carefully planned — his height being an advantage to said plan — and waddled over in his socks to where you were sitting on the couch, handing it to you once he was sat as well.

It was a daintily patterned gift bag, not too big and not too small either, with a card attached to it on the front. You carefully removed it to read his words in neat handwriting.

Happy 1 year anniversary, doll. I love you so much. You make me the luckiest man alive. My love for you will never die.

You wanted to cry, so touched by his short but undeniably sweet words. He saw how your bottom lip jutted out, the way it usually did when emotions got the best of you, and smiled to himself with a bit of pride in getting his words right.

Slowly, you pried the top of the bag open, only discovering a plastic dome. “Careful.” Your boyfriend noted.

You wondered what it was, going over all the possibilities in your head as you took it out of the bag; lava lamp, necklace, tiny bottle, lantern…only to gasp when you saw what it really was inside.

A small sphere-shaped cactus with a crown of pink flowers, placed inside a white ceramic pot with the words, ‘My love for you will never die’ engraved in cursive writing around it.

Ahhhh, here come the waterworks.

“Sonny,” your eyebrows scrunched up, lips fully pouting now. “This is the sweetest fucking gift ever.”

Your use of words didn’t go unnoticed by the smiling man, earning you a chuckle out of him. “I remember the time you cried when I brought you flowers, and you told me it was because you were sad ‘bout them dying…it’s cheesy, I know. Corny, a bit. But I thought you’d like it.”

The rising inflection of his voice gave away his nerves, but you were quick to make your appreciation known. “I do, I do! It’s just the most beautiful and thoughtful gift anyone’s ever given me. Thank you, baby. I’m- Aw…“

You choked up and he took that as his cue to pull you into his arms, careful to set the prickly plant down so you wouldn’t accidentally get hurt.

“It’s true though, my love will never die. You’re stuck with me for as long as you want me.”

“You know I’m shit at keeping plants alive, Son!” You couldn’t help the wavering in your voice, “Oh, but this is just so, so sweet. You’re just too cute for your own good.”

“Well, I was cute enough for you to accept the babbling guy who asked you out a year ago.” The giggling that followed made his blue eyes seem brighter.

“Yeah, I couldn’t say no to that face.”

You took the comfortable silence that ensued as a segue to your own offering to him, “Speaking of this cactus being put at the risk of dying, I’m gonna have to appoint someone to remind me it needs water every now and then.”

“I’m assuming that would be me?”

“Yup.” You shifted around to look through your purse. “So, I was thinking…”

Sonny narrowed his eyes at you, “Thinking…?”

You held out your palm and reached out for his, dropping a familiar weight into his hands. As soon as you pulled your hands away, the object revealed itself to be a single silver key with a brown leather strap keychain attached to the ring, ‘Det. Carisi’ engraved on one side and ‘Sonny’ on the other.

He looked up at you, meeting eager eyes that matched his own. You were practically bouncing with giddiness, excited to reach yet another milestone.

“Move in with me? Officially?”

God, you were so perfect.

“Abso-fucking-lutely.”

#sonny carisi #law and order svu #peter scanavino #dominick carisi #dominick sonny carisi #detective carisi #law and order svu imagine #sonny carisi x reader #carisi imagine #carisi x you #period fic

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polkadotpenguin16 · 2 months

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The Five Stages of Grief: Anger

A/N: sorry it took me so long to get this up! It's been a crazy couple weeks and I hadn't had any time (or will, frankly) to do any editing. But it's here now! Also, guess who finally got an AO3 account? The story's posted over there now as well.

Pairing: Sonny Carisi x female reader

Tags: still angsty; language

Word count: 3.4K (I'm sorry, I got carried away!)

Previous parts: Prologue | Denial

After Amanda got her kids in bed, she decided to catch up on The Bachelor. He was about to give away his final rose when she was interrupted by her door buzzer. Begrudgingly, she got up to see who could be stopping by at this hour.

“Who is it?” She asked through the intercom, annoyance evident in her voice.

“Um, it’s Carisi. Can, uh…can I come up?”

That’s definitely not who she was expecting. Intrigued, she buzzed him in. She answered the door to a crestfallen Sonny. His hair was in disarray when it was usually cemented in place with gel. It looked like his eyes were red from rubbing them.

Her face of confusion morphed into one of sympathy. “I take it dinner didn’t go well?”

Sonny stood in the doorway with his mouth agape. He was completely lost for words. This was not where he planned on being tonight. But he didn’t want to be by himself, so he came to Rollins looking for the support of a friend.

“Why don’t you come in?” Ushering him inside, she observed his disheveled clothes as he dragged his feet through her living room. He was really out of it. She went into her kitchen looking for something to cheer him up. “It was pizza night at the Rollins household, if you want some.” She called to him while rummaging through her refrigerator. “I can get you a beer or—”

Peeking around the corner, she saw Sonny sitting on her couch. Resting his elbows on his knees, cradling his head in his hands. It looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. You must’ve said something pretty awful at dinner to have broken him like this.

Changing course, she grabbed some glasses and a bottle of bourbon from the cabinet and joined him on the couch. “So, let me take a wild guess.” She poured a glass for him and herself. “She didn’t accept your apology?”

He picked up his glass and took a gulp. “Didn’t even come by for me to give it.”

“Ouch…” After hearing how you walked out on him, Amanda didn’t think dinner and an apology would fix much. But she at least expected you to tell him to his face. “That’s cold.”

“You’re telling me,” he replied flatly. He took another swig, welcoming the burning in his throat. Anything would feel better than the disappointment coursing through his veins.

“Can’t even believe it,” he huffed while staring at his glass. “I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me by missing a dinner reservation.”

“You know, if that’s all it took to ruin it…maybe it wasn’t all that good to begin with.” Amanda thought Sonny might’ve been looking at you through rose-colored glasses.

“I thought it was.” His face was full of sorrow and remorse as he finished his drink. “I know we haven’t spent as much time together lately. But when we were together, I thought we were doing fine.”

“What’d she say when she left?” She asked, trying to gauge your actions as she poured him another drink.

“She was tired of being an afterthought.”

She puffed out a breath and shook her head. “Well, I guess she didn’t know what she was signing up for when she decided to date a cop.” Amanda knew the toll working at SVU took on having a personal life. It was a balancing act that required a lot of sacrifices from romantic partners that most weren’t willing to make. You weren’t from their world. You probably wouldn’t understand.

“I’ve been trying my best.” His voice was dripping with frustration and exhaustion. “Trying to be a good detective, a good brother, a good boyfriend…”

“I know you have.”

“Then why can’t she see that?”

“What’s she expecting you to do? Quit your job?”

“I don’t know! She won’t even talk to me!” Exasperated, he slammed his glass on the table. This wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go. You were supposed to be home together. Apologizing to each other. Hugging one another and promising to do better.

“Look, Carisi, maybe you need to let this go—”

“I don’t wanna lose her, Rollins!” That was his worst fear. With all the horrors he’d witnessed, he was petrified something would happen to you. Something that would take you away from him. He just never thought that something would end up being himself.

“Okay, okay.” She set her glass down and grabbed his arm, trying to grab his attention. “Now, I don’t claim to be the expert on relationships here. But if this was it, the ‘true love’ you thought it was, would she have walked away so easily?”

Sonny’s hand began to tremble. He didn’t want to think about that possibility. He loved you and was doing the best he could. He was trying to make everyone happy. Why wasn’t that enough for you?

“I just wish she’d talk to me,” he muttered quietly.

“I’m sure she will,” she reassured him, patting him on the shoulder. “She can’t ignore you forever. But make sure you’re prepared for what she’s got to say.”

He picked his glass up and gazed down into the brown liquid. Swirling it around, he searched for answers as to what went wrong and what to do next. Unable to find any, he took another drink.

Fin and Sonny had to go out to Brooklyn to talk to a witness. After they finished the interview, they walked back to their car as Fin tried to make him feel better.

“Look, man, all I’m saying is it could be worse. At least you got the apartment.” It wasn’t working. “When my ex-wife got mad, she’d kick my sorry ass out. Spent a lot of time couch surfing those days.”

Sonny could barely hear what Fin was saying. He was preoccupied with his raging headache, courtesy of his hangover from yesterday. He was pissed. And the more he thought about it, the more pissed he got. He texted you late last night and this morning hoping you’d respond.

Doll, please answer me.

I can’t fix this if you don’t talk to me.

Are you just gonna ignore me forever?

But he was met with radio silence. He was at the end of his rope. A relationship was a two-way street, and he couldn’t repair it alone. He was beginning to think you had no interest in trying. He was brought back to reality when he recognized a familiar bank a few blocks ahead. Your bank.

You could avoid his calls and texts, but there was one thing you couldn’t ignore.

“What’d you say we grab some lunch before heading back? I’m starving.” Fin asked as they passed by a deli.

“You go ahead. I, uh…got an errand I need to run. Meet you back here in twenty.” He picked up his pace and sprinted down the street.

You were busying yourself with work. Color-coding your spreadsheets. Reorganizing your filing cabinet. Again. There was a lot of thinking to do, and you were just not up to it.

The texts from Sonny didn’t go unnoticed. It felt like your phone was burning a hole in your pocket. You knew you needed to talk. You were only avoiding the inevitable. Conflict really wasn’t your thing. You were more content to suffer in silence than voice your concerns. Being so passive helped you get through life. But it also got you walked over on multiple occasions.

You weren’t sure if you could move forward together. You wanted you to kiss and make up. Pretend like the other night never happened. But you knew things would inevitably fall back into the same pattern. Back to going to bed alone. Weekends by yourself. Sonny coming home an exhausted shell of himself. You couldn’t watch him waste away. Nor could you watch him put all his spare energy into caring for another woman. All your emotions were floating around inside you like a whirlpool. They were all tangled together, and you couldn’t separate them enough to know how to explain them to Sonny.

You were going to talk to him. Just…not yet.

The front door opening made you look up from your computer, and you were shocked by what you saw. It was Sonny, swiftly walking towards your desk. And he looked upset. A deer in headlights would’ve looked less stunned than you.

“What…what are you doing here?” You sheepishly asked as he stared you down.

“We need to talk.” His voice was clipped, answer direct.

“I’m at work, Sonny.”

“Well, you’ve ignored all my other attempts to get your attention.”

“I’m not ignoring you,” you lied poorly. “I’ve just been…busy.”

Not liking your answer, he huffed and crossed his arms. “Why didn’t you come home yesterday?”

“I told you. I needed some time.”

“Well, exactly how much time do you need?”

You didn’t have an answer to that. Your leg started bouncing, and your heart was pounding in your chest. God, why did he have to just show up here? You were already nervous about talking with him before he came. You wanted to get your nerves under control before you met so you could share your feelings with him calmly and eloquently. You weren’t expecting to get ambushed.

“You know, this isn’t even fair. I’ve apologized and tried to make things right, but you won’t even give me the time of day.” Sonny was beyond irritated, his voice becoming steadily louder. “You disappeared in the middle of the night, unable to be reached. Did you know I’ve been worried sick about you?!”

“Everything okay out here?” Your boss called out from behind you. A few colleagues were peeking out to see what the commotion was.

“It’s fine.” You put on a weak smile. “Nothing to worry about.” Your boss eyed Sonny up and down. Suddenly realizing how this looked, he uncrossed his arms and took a deep breath to relax his face. He then felt bad about showing up angry and unannounced. Although he took a small comfort in knowing that your boss cared enough to check on you in a situation like this. Your boss gave you a questioning look, and you gave him a reassuring nod in return. Satisfied enough that nothing dangerous was occurring, he reluctantly returned to his office.

“I’ll come by later tonight, okay?” You had to get him out of here before he got security called. “Now, will you please leave before we make a bigger scene?”

“That’s all I asked for.” He turned on his heel and walked out.

You were surprised to see Sonny made it back to the apartment before you. He was sitting on the couch, looking pensive. Nervously, you walked over to sit on the opposite side. It felt strange being so far away when you had been so close just a couple of days ago. You both sat there for several minutes without speaking.

The silence was killing Sonny. He wanted to rip the band-aid off. To yell, fight, scream, something! He needed to move past the conflict part of this story and get to the happy ending. He wanted to hug you. Smell your hair. Whisper how much he loved you and that everything was going to be alright. But you wouldn’t even look him in the eye.

Fiddling with your sweaty fingers, you tried to figure out how to explain what you felt. But that was easier said than done. There was some deep-seated fear that saying it out loud would make things worse than they already were. You wanted to swallow your feelings and bury them deep inside. To keep them from hurting anyone.

“So, that’s it?” Sonny asked, unable to stay quiet any longer. “We’re just gonna sit here and not say anything?”

You were frozen in your seat. Searching for the right words and the courage to say them.

“Okay, don’t say anything and just listen.” He turned himself to face you. “I know things have been hard for us lately…”

You had a difficult time hearing Sonny over the ringing in your ears. You started to feel lightheaded and your breath quickened. It felt like you were floating outside of your body, looking down at the two of you. You just wanted to disappear.

Sonny could see that you were not hearing his words. He was losing you, even as he sat beside you, to some dark place in your mind. He needed to get you back, to focus on him. “Doll, please you at me,” he pleaded softly, breaking you out of your trance.

You slowly looked up. When you connected with his sad blue eyes, the corners of yours began to feel moist. But you tried to keep any tears at bay. You were not going to cry. You’ve cried enough already.

“How did we get here, sweetheart? How do we get back?” He reached across the length of the couch and offered you his hand, hoping you’d let him pull you out of the darkness. He wanted to be a beacon through the storm he saw in your eyes. A storm of raw, painful feelings that he had no doubt caused.

But you couldn’t take it. Not now.

“Sonny, I don’t know…it’s not that simple—”

“What do you mean ‘it’s not that simple’?” He was trying to remain calm but was starting to lose his composure.

You needed this to stop. Maybe ending things would be better for both of you. No more fighting. No more tears. “I think it might be best if we—”

“Don’t finish that sentence, please.” Shooting up from the couch, Sonny knelt in front of you and grasped your hands. You didn’t pull away, but you couldn’t look at him. “Tell me how to fix this,” he desperately pleaded. He refused to give up on you. “Just tell me what I have to do so we can go back to how we were!”

You took a deep breath, trying to find your voice. “I can’t go back.”

Sonny’s eyes filled with disappointment. “What, why?”

Your instinct was to shrink back into yourself. But you mustered courage you didn’t even know you had. “I’m tired, Sonny. I can’t wait around for you to choose me.”

“Choose you?” He was stunned by your words. “What are you talking about? I’ve chosen you every day since we’ve met!”

This was what you wanted to avoid. You didn’t want to make him angry. You didn’t want a fight. But you were in too deep now.

“I know you think that.” You tried to keep your voice from trembling. “But I’ve felt so lonely in this relationship. It feels like everybody gets the best of you, and there’s nothing left for me.”

He didn’t understand. How could you think that? How could you not see how much he loved you? “Why haven’t you told me this before?”

“When did I have the chance?” You replied with a sigh. “When you got off work in the middle of the night? After you came back from taking care of Amanda?”

This realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He released your hands and took a step back in disbelief. “So that’s what this is really about?” He couldn’t believe that you would think that way. That you thought of him that way.

Your arms were shaky from adrenaline. Arguing like this went against every fiber of your being. “Sonny, she sees more of you than I do.”

“She’s my partner. We work together,” he replied, emphasizing his choice of words.

“It’s not just work,” you countered. “You with her at work, you’re always at her place. Sometimes it feels like you’d rather spend time there than at home…with me. And I’m left here all by myself.”

“That’s not fair!” He snapped defensively. “You have friends and family around you, and she’s got nobody.”

You couldn’t help but huff at his response. “You’re right, I do. Thought I had a boyfriend, too.”

“The hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“You said it yourself.” You steadied yourself and stood up from your seat. “She has nobody but you. What does that sound like, Sonny?”

“It’s not like that and you know it.”

“I do?” Your cheeks began to flush, and your hands clenched into fists as you raised your voice to match his. You desperately wanted him to hear you. To see your side. “Do boyfriends stand their girlfriends up after canceling date night for two months? Or do they take them home and cook them dinner because they had a bad day?”

You left Sonny speechless. He’d never seen you so angry before. Why you were being so unreasonable? “What more do you want me to say, doll?” He asked through gritted teeth. “I’m sorry about missing dinner. I made a mistake. I thought you’d be more understanding since I was helping a friend.”

“This is more than just missing that date,” you retorted. Months of bitterness were coming to the surface. “This is about you burning yourself to keep everyone around you warm. Are you even happy, Sonny?”

“Excuse me?” He asked, dumbfounded by your question.

“You’re gone from dawn ‘till dusk, working a job that’s draining the life from you. What little spare time you have, you spend it taking care of everybody else. When was the last time you did something for yourself?”

Sonny brows knitted together as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “So you’re saying I should ignore when people need my help?”

You groaned and stamped your foot. He was completely missing your point. “I think you need to start thinking about what matters to you!”

Tensions were high and you were both tired. Physically exhausted, and tired of fighting. Neither of you were thinking straight and were spewing words you didn’t mean.

“This is all because you’re jealous?” He accidentally blurted out in a fit anger. “You’re seriously jealous of a lonely, single mother? You’re—” Sonny bit his tongue to stop himself from going any further. He was losing control of his temper and speaking without thinking things through.

Your jaw dropped in shock from his words. Something snapped inside you, and you could hardly recognize the man in front of you. This wasn’t the Sonny you had fallen in love with. “Not anymore. She can have you.”

You marched towards the door, past a red-faced Sonny. You could’ve sworn you’d seen steam pouring out of his ears. “If you walk out that door, there’s no coming back!” He bellowed at you.

But you ignored his warning. Looking over your shoulder, you yelled, “I’m done third-wheeling this relationship. You can fuck her all you want now!”

You slammed the door and ran down the stairwell. Once outside, you leaned against the building, then collapsed to the ground and sobbed. Your pulse was pounding in your head. It felt like your lungs had collapsed in on themselves, making every breath you took a struggle. You were shaking uncontrollably, experiencing a full-blown panic attack. What did you just do? How could you say those things?

Reaching his boiling point, Sonny punched a hole in the wall. The impact shook the apartment, and one of the picture frames on the mantle crashed to the floor. Needing to cool down before he caused any more damage, he sat down and took some deep breaths, not even noticing the pain radiating from his knuckles. He was disgusted by your accusation. But also equally appalled by what he said. He didn’t mean it. Could never mean it. He didn’t want you to leave.

Once he had his emotions under control, he took a second to observe the aftermath of his rage. A hole in the wall, broken glass on the floor, and a bruised hand. Completely drained, he thought it was best to try and get some sleep. He dragged himself to his bedroom to take off his sweat-drenched clothes and crawl under the covers, hoping sleep would overtake him. But as he stood at the foot of the bed, he couldn’t bring himself to sleep in there. This was your room.

The bed you shared.

It was only a tiny one-bedroom apartment, but he felt so lost in there without you. It wasn’t home if you weren’t here. He grabbed a pillow and blanket and stumbled into the living room, resigned to sleep on the couch. He got as comfortable as he could on the small sofa and closed his eyes. As he tried to fall asleep, the red-hot anger that had fueled him began to diminish. All he was left with was a feeling of emptiness.

Alone. He felt alone.

#oh god she writes now #sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi x you #sonny carisi imagine #dominick carisi #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu #svu #anti rollisi

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escapingrealtiylovinginsanity · 5 months

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[Not] Guilty Part 2

Part 1

A few people expressed interest in this becoming a series. I had a storyline for it when I made the first ‘chapter’. I do warn you guys though I will probably be slow to post. I have a hard time when I feel like I have to write the next chapter of something. Not to mention I am currently packing (and procrastinating packing by writing) to move from Michigan to Tennessee for my new post-grad job!

This is not a spoiler because I hinted heavily (told you really) at it at the end of the first chapter, but I did want to warn everyone- this has the ACCIDENTAL PREGNANCY TROPE. For those of you who do not like those stories, you have been warned. The case is mentioned in this story but is not its main focus, but what will become of the reader and Sonny’s relationship. (I may change the name because it implies otherwise.)

Warnings- mentions of sex abuse, physical abuse, prison violence, suicide and accidental pregnancy trope (just in case you missed it ^)

Thank you for reading that really long author's note <3

The breakup should be harder on you. It was the longest relationship you had been in. The nervousness you had felt when you had crept up to the six-month marker and the kiss of death to every relationship you had ever had. It had come in like a lion, with you causing fights waiting for the inevitable, and out like a lamb when Sonny realized what the problem was. He had maturely communicated that he had no intent in letting you go. It had been smooth sailing for the most part after that. The relief you had felt when it all just seemed to work out. You guys were just a few weeks away from the year mark.

The end was as abrupt as your cousin Randy’s arrest. The betrayal of Sonny going after him without any regard to you. Then the attempted railroading from him to you of Randy’s guilt. The whole thing had left you cold and numb.

You knew Dominick Carisi was a good lawyer and now he could be the one to put Randy away for life. On a charge you were sure he didn’t commit. You hadn’t seen him much since the day you refused to let him into your apartment. You only saw him during court proceedings or meetings with him and Randy’s defense lawyer. Not that he hadn’t tried. He had called, texted, and stopped by your apartment frequently during the first few weeks. You were sure he thought that you were just overacting and that you would come to see the light of your cousin’s misdoings. Process and then accept what was going on. The only difference was you knew deep in your soul that your cousin wasn’t guilty. You wouldn't let anyone railroad you into thinking anything differently.

Not even a man you loved.

You had been actively avoiding him and any emotion that he provoked. You tried to ignore that you were a hot mess. The stress and emotional strain caused constant fatigue and churning in your stomach which had a tendency to make you sick. You had been trying to take care of everything for the case and still work overtime to continue paying your bills and for Randy’s pricy lawyer. You had even tried to get the money to bail Randy out, but Sonny had asked for an outrageous bond that even combined your working-class family couldn’t afford. You had tried to make up for it by putting money in his commissary and visiting once a week. Randy assured you he was okay, but it didn’t help make you feel better. Especially, when you saw the black eye and cut lip on your last visit.

Today was court and it was Randy’s turn to testify. You sat there in support of him and tried not to wince or shift uncomfortably as years of family secrets were let loose in open court. It was to help show Randy’s character the lawyer had explained. It was smart but you didn’t have to like listening to it.

Randy testified to his mental health issues. His bipolar that left him manic and on top of the world one day and then so depressed he couldn’t get out of bed the next. He went on to talk about the sexual and physical abuse he had received at the hands of his own father. How he had used substance to numb himself. He was in tears when he talked about how he could never hurt someone like he had been hurt. He would rather put a bullet in his head.

He had tried to skirt around the question about his uncle. But when he was pressed, he talked about how he had witnessed the brutal murder of his father at his uncle's hands when he had found out and then watched his uncle be arrested and put in prison. How he had been put on multiple 72-hour psych holds in the years following. Listening to it all was hard and made you want to curl up in a corner and sob. It was heartbreaking to listen to. Randy looked and sounded believable- like a victim himself who deserved empathy.

Sonny turned in his seat to look at you. You were only able to maintain eye contact for only a few seconds. It had been long enough to see the understanding in his eyes. The almost audible clicking of all the puzzle pieces of your life that you dodged around or refused to talk about when you were together were finally coming together for him. You could also see the frustration at you not being honest with him and him being blindsided in open court.

When recess was called until Monday you had to keep yourself from running out of the courthouse and instead force yourself to walk at a normal pace. You couldn’t face any of the SVU detectives that you were once close to. You hear your name called and your body freezes without your permission. A Staten Island accent thickened with emotion. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

You can’t even turn back to look at him. You feel exhausted as you say. “You didn’t want to listen.”

≪ °❈° ≫

You return to court four days later, and there is something strange brewing in the courtroom. You can feel it in the air. You can see it. There is no jury and the courtroom is empty. The rest happens in a blur. ADA Dominick Carisi stands up and tells the judge they had found further evidence over the weekend and they wanted to drop all charges, except for possession. They offered a deal on time served. You felt the tears rush down your face in disbelief.

You find yourself in the hallway and a hand touches your shoulder from behind. You turn around to see Olivia Benson. “For what it is worth, I’m sorry.” Her face is sincere but all you could hear in your mind was the echoing of her words to you of his guilt and how it was normal to be in denial. It could take a while for your mind to be able to comprehend that someone you know, and love is capable of such malicious intent. “For all the trouble and for all this has cost you.” Even in your haze, you knew she wasn’t talking about the money you had put into Randy’s defense. “With his DNA in her apartment and on that blunt we really thought-”

“Sharing weed with a woman doesn’t mean you're going to rape and kill her.” Your words are bitter and distant even to your own ears.

“Of course not,” Olivia paused gathering her thoughts.

“What happened? What did you guys find?”

“Well, we went back over the timeline. We had a hard time believing Randy because when we interviewed him, he didn’t even know where he had been for most of the night.” You knew he had been hopped up on some pretty strong stuff that night. “Do you know the cemetery a couple of blocks from where we arrested him?” You felt like a bolt of lightning had struck through you. You did in fact know it. It was where his older brother had been buried after he committed suicide at twenty. “There was a security camera there that had been installed because of some teenager destroying headstones. It shows Randy there hours before Mary Moore’s death to hours after it. He slept there all night actually.”

You huff out a laugh. Thomas was Randy’s older brother by almost ten years. He, out of the three sons, had taken the worst of the abuse from their father. He had protected Randy and the youngest David until the moment he had ended it all, but it seemed even death couldn’t stop him from protecting his younger brother.

You see Randy getting released, a bag of belongings in his hand and you start to head over to him completely forgetting that you had been in a conversation with the detective. You are only reminded when you hear her voice raise slightly as she says, “You know, Carisi is the one that started looking back at the timeline. He is the reason this case was dropped.” You freeze feeling something twist in your stomach. An emotion that you don’t want to deal with in this happy moment.

“It doesn’t change anything.”

You stride to Randy’s side and hug. You weren’t allowed to touch him when you were visiting him in lockup. He clings to you burying his face into your neck and you can feel the hot tears against your neck. “Thank you. Thank you so much for never giving up on me.” You hug him tighter feeling your own tears roll down your cheeks.

≪ °❈° ≫

You were sitting back at the apartment curled up on the couch wrapped in a blanket as Randy was spending an ungodly amount of time in the bathroom. You smiled to yourself, just happy that he was home. Even if he was back to crashing on your couch. He joined on the couch, hair still wet from his shower. He leaned back into the cushions with a sigh. The two of you sat in silence processing all that had happened in the last four months.

“I found a rehab program when I was locked up. It focuses on people with mental health issues like my bipolar. I called and they said they had a spot open for me. Someone ran out. Good luck, huh?” You laugh shaking your head.

“Good to know you still have your positivity streak.” You lay back feeling absolutely exhausted. You had been having a fatigue that just wouldn’t go away. “I think it's a good idea though. It would be good for you to get that settled. Your being off and on your meds hasn't been helping. I just want you to be happy, and have a real chance at the life you deserve.”

“Yeah, I know. I hope you know I appreciate everything you have done for me. Everything that you have had to sacrifice.” You say his name, but he cuts you off, “No, really Chickadee. All these years, you didn’t have to do any of it. Without you, I would have been dead or locked up three times over by now.” You reach out and start running your finger through his hair. “It’ll probably be good for you to have to space anyways.”

“I don’t mind you sleeping on my couch.” You assure him.

“I know, but with you being pregnant and all. I’m sure you-”

“I’m sorry about me being what?” Randy doesn’t miss a beat.

“Oh, come on Chickadee. I know you were trying not to make a big deal out of it because of everything that was going on but-” You shake your head at him, laughing.

“Randy, I’m not pregnant.” The finality in your voice makes him turn his position to face you more fully. He quirks an eyebrow at you.

“Are you sure about that?” His tone is one of disbelief as he eyes your form. You smack his shoulder saying his name loudly. “Well, I would check into that, anyhow. You know with the fatigue, upset stomach, morning sickness, and with how big those things have gotten.” He gestures to your breast with a wave of his hand.

You look down at them and feel your mind starting to spiral as you try to think of the last time you had a period. You bite your thumb as you realize it was before the case had started. While it wasn’t uncommon for you to skip when you were stressed out, that was a considerable amount of time. “Alright, I’m kicking you out of my bed. I haven’t had a good night's sleep in almost four months.” Randy didn’t seem to notice your mind spinning. He thought that you were still just messing around with him. He had no idea the can of worms he had just opened in your head.

You stood up numbly as he started making the couch his makeshift bed. Then flopping onto it with a content sigh. You say nothing as you go to grab your purse and head toward the drug store a block over.

#law and order special victims unit #law and order svu #svu #dominick carisi #sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi imagine #sonny carisi x you

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daddydoddsjr · 1 year

Note

Can you do a one shot where Sonny has a daughter and he's overprotective of her when she's dating?

Overprotective - One Shot

Pairing || Sonny Carisi x Wife!Reader, Sonny Carisi/Teen!Daughter

Contents/Warnings || implied threats

Authors Note || with posting this, i’m now all caught up on answering asks :) so anyone is free to send in an ask for literally any svu/criminal minds character lol. will also be posting an original sonny carisi au soon which will definitely be multi-part and explicit

“A boy? Seriously? A date???” Sonny looked absolutely dumbfounded.

“He’s a really nice guy, Dad, I swear,” You and Sonny’s daughter sighed, already knowing Sonny would act like this.

You and Sonny had been sitting on the couch together when your daughter had approached the two of you, all dressed up and looking nervous over something. And then she told you that she was going on a date… which you knew about, and Sonny did not. And for good reason.

“Who is this guy? Have I met him? Who are his parents?”

“Dad, calm down.”

“Well I don’t want some sleazeball taking out my daughter.”

“I’m sure he’s a nice boy. She’ll be fine, Sonny,” You gently touched his arm. “She’s old enough to make decisions on who she can date.”

Sonny huffed, calming at your touch, but still clearly annoyed at the thought of his daughter dating.

“Is he picking you up?”

“Yea, soon.”

“I’m a cab or a car?”

“I’m his car.”

“I’m walking you out there to meet him.”

Your daughter looked slightly worried by this, but shrugged, “Fine..” She paced around the living room as the three of you waited. When she eventually got the next that he was there, she begrudgingly told Sonny that she was leaving. You don’t think you’ve ever seen Sonny get up so fast, immediately asking your daughter if she had her phone, her keys, her paper spray, her jacket, her portable charger, her this, her that…

“Sonny?” You spoke up just before Sonny was out the front door.

“Yeah, doll?”

“Don’t freak him out too bad, okay?”

Sonny rolled his eyes playfully before leaving for about 10 minutes and coming back. He plopped back down onto the couch beside you.

“How did that go?” You ask, leaning against him.

“He seems… okay. I told them to be back before midnight. And they better be.”

“I’m sure they will, Sonny. She’ll be fine.”

“I’m still going to text her every 20 minutes.”

“Sonny-“

#law and order svu #l&o: svu #svu #sonny carisi #peter scanavino #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi headcannons #dad sonny carisi !!!#dominick carisi

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altsvu · 9 months

Text

three way phone part 1

pairing: sonny carisi x peter stone x detective!fem!reader

wc: 1.4k

summary: a movie night with the boys is all fine and dandy until things get spicy.

cw: shameless flirting, a little smut

a/n: in honor of this fic officially sitting in my drafts for THREE years (1/3/2021), i’m gonna post it today :) i’m thinking of making this a two part thing, with part two being raunchy asf. this is my first time writing a 3some so enjoy lovelies! 😭🫶🏽

law and order svu masterlist! ✯ taglist!

✯✯✯✯

For a while you had been toying with Peter and Sonny because they both had feelings for you, even thought lately you had been more close with Peter. Two weeks ago, Sonny took you out to his favorite restaurant, and last week, Peter took you to a baseball game. You, Sonny and Peter hung out a lot after work if one of them weren’t spending time with you, and you were hoping for something more with one, or both of them.

“Y/N.” You turned and saw Peter coming over to you. You were the only detective in the precinct, Sonny had left to get ready for movie night. On the other hand you were chilling in the break room getting some paperwork done. That was something you did when you didn’t feel like sitting at your desk.

“Oh hey Peter.” You smiled.

“Hey there beautiful.” He said. He kissed your cheek before he sat down.

“You always find a way to flirt with me.”

“Ever since that baseball game, I’ve had even more feelings for you.”

His hand found a way to your thigh.

“Aww, Peter. Really?”

“Yeah. I can’t stop thinking about you, and I was hoping...”

There was a bit of silence between the two of you.

“That maybe we can spend more time together. Alone.”

“I- How did you know?”

You scooted closer to Peter.

“It’s written all over you.” You whispered.

You and Peter both knew the energy shifted after that. He moved closer and kissed you. You kissed him back and it was one of the best things you ever experienced. His hands went to your ass, gripping it so he could transport you from your chair to his lap. A squeal escaped your lips.

“Damn Peter.”

“Damn, is absolutely correct. What’s on for tonight?”

“I was thinking Gothika or the Invisible Guardian, since you boys don’t want to watch romance movies.”

“I think we know how that would play out. But I would kill for some Naked.”

“Ooh, Naked sounds good. I’ll tell Sonny when he gets there.”

Peter smiled and looked at you.

“What?”

“Nothing. You just look beautiful sitting on my lap.”

You kissed him then slid the paperwork closer to you so you could finish it. You shifted in his lap so that both of your legs were facing the table and you let him grip you by your waist. Peter watched as you completed your DD5’s. At one point he pushed some of your hair back.

“Peter...” You smiled. “Very tempting of you.”

Your phone went off with a text from Sonny asking you if you were still on for sitting in on the civil court case he’s working with Pippa Cox for with him. You replied with an “Of course! I can’t wait!”

“You planning on being a lawyer?”

“I haven’t thought about it. I’m just really interested in the court system. Plus, if I ever decided to, I have one of many great former and current ADA’s I can go to.”

“Am I on that list?” Peter whispered.

“Top 3.” You whispered back, finishing the last component of the 5. “Okay. I’m done.”

“Good. I can’t wait to see what you wear later. “

“I’m sure you can’t.” You smirked, getting up from his lap. “Accompany me to Liv’s office and my desk?”

“Of course.” Peter got up and grabbed you by the waist as you were fixing up the papers.

“Peter!” You shrieked. He chuckled and pulled you closer to him, then kissing your lips. After your little make out session, you stopped by Liv’s office and placed your forms on her desk along with a small note, then went to your desk to grab your things.

“So... I’ll see you in about an hour or two?” You asked after getting outside.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

A grin formed on your face. “Bye for now, Peter.” You planted a kiss on his cheek and then went on your separate ways.

✯✯✯✯

You had just finished getting dressed and spritzing yourself with a body mist. You wore a pink silk spaghetti strap cropped v neck, a pair of pink and flower patterned tie up sleep shorts, a black silk long robe, and white fuzzy socks. Going to the kitchen to set up snacks, you heard the doorbell rang and when you went to check, it was Sonny.

“Sonny!” You squealed when he kissed your cheek and gave you a tight hug and lifted you off the floor a bit. You closed the door behind him when he put you down.

“You look beautiful for someone who’s hosting movie night.”

“You think I’m overdressed?”

“Of course not, doll.” Sonny stepped closer to you and his hand made its way under your robe. It slowly slipped off and there was a moment of silence between the two of you. Sonny’s hands then went to the sliver of bare skin. “What you’re wearing is just fine.”

“Good.” You whispered. You planted a kiss on his cheek and walked over to the kitchen to prepare the snacks.

You already had the wine out, two bottles of everyone’s favorite cabernet sauvignon to be more specific, and you wanted to prepare a small charcuterie board with several cheeses, meats, grapes, and dark chocolate. You enjoyed doing things like this, it gave you a sort of satisfaction. People always praised you for bringing the best snacks and things of the sort.

Sonny followed behind you and offered to help you set up and make a pretty display. While setting up, the doorbell rang and you went to get it.

“Y/N,” Peter started, looking at you with a smile on his face.

“Hi Peter!” You smiled back. He pulled you into a hug for a little while. “We’re in the kitchen.”

Now finally, the three of you were here and ready to get the party started. You spent some time with them in the kitchen playing around by tossing and playfully feeding each other pieces of cheese, grapes, and chocolate. You were having fun. You liked hanging out with Peter and Sonny, and they liked hanging out with you just the same.

After a little while doing that, the guys helped you finish your display in the living room with the last of snacks, and then it was time to settle down.

✯✯✯✯

“Are you boys getting bored?” You asked, taking another sip of wine.

After many glasses of wine and a fee snacks remaining, the three of you had finished the first movie, and was on the second movie you chose.

“Oh dear Y/N, very, very bored.” Peter joked. He draped an arm around you and looked at you passionately.

“Boohoo.” You mused. You turned to look at Sonny who was sitting beside you as well. “Sonny?”

Sonny smiled. “Never with you.”

“You’re so cute.” You smiled, planting a small kiss on his nose.

Peter’s hand trailed along the bare parts of your body. “I think… we can have a lot more fun on our own.”

You looked back at Peter, noticing the fierceness in his eyes. You let that same hand caress your cheek. Peter wanted to do his own thing, give you pleasure, and he wasn’t gonna let you go easily. He moved closer to you, his hands moving to your thigh.

However, you weren’t gonna give in. Not that easily. You sat there, letting Peter seduce you until you reached your breaking point. The softest moan escaped your lips. Sonny watched in amazement as Peter continued to seduce you. He turned your head to face him and he leaned in to kiss you. It was soft but also rough. You gave in and kissed him back, pulling him closer to you. You guided his hand to hold your waist. While kissing Peter you searched for Sonny’s hand to touch you as well. You could tell Sonny was hesitant, but when you felt the warmth of his body touch through the thin piece of silk that was the robe, you knew he wanted a piece of you too.

Sonny slipped a part of your robe off and kissed your bare shoulder, then went up to your neck and sucked on the soft skin. You had stopped kissing Peter at this point and he was leaving kisses on your chest. He slipped off the other side of your robe and as of now, the two men left you with bare shoulders.

“Boys. I think we should take this to the bedroom.” You whispered ever so shallowly.

✯✯✯✯

taglist: @storiesofsvu @averyhotchner @ssaic-jareau @detective-giggles @blackbeautifulqueen @lapaquerette @itsjustmyfantasyroom

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tropes-and-tales-archives · 5 months

Text

More Precious Than Rubies: Part 3a

This is an alternate timeline story that has a Rafael Barba track and a Sonny Carisi track. The two paths split off in part 3.

WC: 2662

TW: SVU-typical talk of rape and sexual assault cases.

AN: The prompt was "I saw you staring at each other, I just wasn’t sure if it was sexual tension or murderous rage."

When the jury read their verdict of “not guilty” on all counts, you breathed a sigh of relief and then tended to your client, who collapsed against you in broken sobs. You got him collected, then you both went out and made a brief statement to the assembled press. You shook Jeremy’s hand and wished him well, and then you stood a moment in the weak April sunlight.

You descended the steps of the courthouse slowly, one at a time, and thought about what you should do.

It was late in the day – you could go back to your airless little utility closet of an office and wrap up you paperwork on the case. Or you could start making your way towards home. Most of the cops and ADAs went to celebrate or commiserate at Forlini’s, but two blocks up was a charming little Spanish wine bar that most tourists walked right past. It was right near your subway stop – you could go finish your paperwork there.

You had been a good student in high school and undergraduate, and you’d been top of the class in law school. The sole subject you struggled in had been math and calculus, so it was fortunate that law didn’t require much higher math beyond calculating what consecutive sentences would add up to.

If you had been good at higher math, you’d know what an inflection point was – a moment when a curve changes from being concave to convex, or vice versa. Life was full of inflection points – when the path a person could take is changed or decided on. Most times, the person in question had no idea how their little choices affected the larger arc of their life.

Take the subway or walk. Eat the street meat or the leftovers you packed from home. Go to Fordham law or Columbia law.

Turn right, towards your office. Or turn left towards home.

Today, you turned left.

********

Barba was livid. The problem was, he didn’t know who to be madder at: himself, or Liv, or the rest of the SVU squad.

He should have known better. He should have known. How many times had SVU handed him flimsy cases with circumstantial evidence? How many times had he sent them away, refusing to even consider a case until it was more solid?

Too many times, and yet here he was – dodging Jack McCoy, sneaking out of the office, creeping past Forlini’s without looking through the plate glass windows, ducking into a tiny wine bar. Steadying his nerves with a glass of ruby-red Garnacha and just letting the alcohol inflame his temper even more.

Because he should have known better.

And once he worked through his uncharitable feelings about his detectives, he moved on to the irritating new public defender. If he had been intrigued by you initially, it quickly wore off once he saw you shred his admittedly feeble case. You caught the social media posts that NYPD didn’t, but that didn’t make you a brilliant lawyer – it just meant you were thorough. And lucky. The next time he faced off with you in court, he’d settle the score. And he’d do it with the same, tiny, infuriating smile you had sported during closing arguments.

He finished off his first glass of wine and then ordered another, along with a charcuterie tray for one, as if he didn’t already feel like a loser. He sipped his wine slower and tried to enjoy the notes of plum and juniper. After his last overdue annual physical (and his doctor clucking over his blood pressure), Barba had downloaded some meditation app that basically charged him $2.99 a month to tell him to close his eyes and take deep breaths. While he waited for the world’s smallest, saddest charcuterie tray, he closed his eyes and did just that.

He could feel the tension loosen a little bit. His pulse slowed. He took another sip of wine and tried to savor it. Everything would be fine. He’d take his lumps from McCoy, then he’d march over to the 16th precinct and give Liv a stern speech about sloppy police work. Then he’d do better, be more vigilant, work harder.

When he opened his eyes finally, his newfound serenity evaporated immediately. Across the bar, settling into a stool and pulling a stack of papers out of a battered satchel, was the irritating new public defender. He ducked down and watched you furtively. You shed your grey jacket. You ordered a glass of white wine but no food, and you bent over your papers. Your face was drawn and serious, as if you hadn’t just scored an impressive victory against the district attorney’s office.

The waiter bringing Barba’s food created a flurry of activity that drew your eye, and Barba saw you see him. You nodded at him in greeting and gave him a smile, and he wasn’t sure if it was meant to be friendly or to gloat. He embraced his foul mood as it returned and settled for the latter instead of the former.

He scowled back at you and pointedly ignored you to focus on his food, but not before he saw you carefully gather up your stuff and walk around the bar to join him. He was unable to be explicitly rude and ignore you, so he sighed and turned to face you.

“You here to gloat?” he asked, and he watched your face turn from casually friendly to guarded.

“I’m not gloating,” you replied. “I wanted to say it was a good case, and that you did your best.”

Barba scoffed and took a deep swig of wine, polishing it off in one gulp. “Liar. It was a weak case, and now you’re gloating.”

You narrowed your eyes at him and watched him as he ordered another glass of wine. “I’d think that you’d be happy that you weren’t responsible for getting an innocent man locked up,” you said, and your voice was clipped and almost borderline angry.

He swiveled in his seat so that he could face you directly. You weren’t wrong, but Barba was still smarting from such a humiliating defeat – especially on a case he shouldn’t have even taken to trial. He had no one to blame but himself, but the heady red wine was hitting him harder than his usual scotch did, so he snapped back at you.

“Enjoy your victory,” he said, and you narrowed your eyes further until they were mere slits in your face, glaring out at him. “You won’t get another.” And then he turned back in his seat to make sure you knew you were dismissed.

He’d feel bad about it in the morning. You were just some green public defender, some bleeding heart, probably, and likely someone who just eked out a law degree and a license from passing the bar. And you had kept an innocent man out of prison. But law was a zero-sum game: every case you won was a case he lost.

And more than anything else, Barba loved to win.

-----

It was another month before Barba faced off against you again, and it ended in a draw – guilty on a lesser count, not guilty on the more serious charge. You’d be able to make a plea for leniency during sentencing. When court was dismissed, he turned to nod at you, but you deliberately tilted your head in that sometimes-cute, mostly-irritating way you had and ignored him.

The next match up was just two weeks later, and you lost it handily. Guilty on all counts, and your client was a repeat rapist, but Barba begrudgingly admitted that you gave him a good defense. The defendant would not be able to appeal based on incompetent counsel. Again, you refused to look at Barba, but he couldn’t miss the tension that melted from your frame when your client was led out in cuffs. He realized that you had to defend monsters, and he wondered if you just now realized it yourself.

He got to talk to you a little during those cases, when you both did the mandatory tap dance around possible plea deals. Even if you were young, you were a fierce competitor, snapping back at his own witty one-liners with sarcastic rejoinders of your own. Unlike the other lawyers he squared off with, though, you never made it personal. You never snarked on his suits (like Calhoun), and you never called him a peacock (like Buchanan). You just threw out obscure case law and legal precedents that he sometimes wasn’t aware of.

Meetings with you left him both invigorated and exhausted. Like a sudden burst of adrenaline that, when it was spent, made him weary.

He conceded that you knew what you were doing. You seemed to know the law inside and out, and you seemed to have a supernatural instinct for when SVU was floating a weak case. Barba wondered what your relationship with Carisi had been like – maybe your ability to see through the squad’s posturing came from whatever had happened between you and the lanky detective.

Barba asked Liv about it once. Liv had just shrugged and said that you and Carisi had already been a couple when he came to Manhattan’s SVU, and then a few months later, Carisi had turned up to work with red eyes and rumpled clothes for a long stretch before pulling himself together.

“She was sweet,” Liv said. “She used to bring in lunch and dinner when we were working overtime. But she was still in school then, I think. Fordham.”

Barba pictured you in college student garb, maybe a pair of faded jeans and a Fordham sweatshirt, your face sans makeup and your hair pulled into a sloppy ponytail. He pictured you bringing in boxes of food for the squad, maybe sitting and chatting with them a bit while Carisi played footsie with you under the table. He pictured the tall detective walking you out, kissing you and promising to see you at home soon.

Barba felt a measure of melancholic jealousy for that imagined domestic scene. He’d love to have a girlfriend who brought him food when he was working late. More to the point, he’d love to have a reason to even go home instead of pulling late nights in his office. His mind started to wander to an imagined scene where you brought him food in his office, where he kissed you and promised to see you at home….he shoved that daydream aside violently. Not you. Anyone but the irritating public defender who stung and maddened him like a deep papercut that kept breaking back open after he thought it had healed.

He wondered again idly what had broken the two of you up. Likely being on opposite sides of the law, Barba figured. Carisi, the cocker spaniel of special victims advocate, and you, an avenging angel of the poorest criminals Manhattan had to offer.

-----

SVU had a new case: a sixteen year-old, Anthony Forni, was being tried as an adult for sexual assault of a neighbor in his apartment building.

And a familiar face caught it for the defense.

Barba and Liv were in his office, chatting about the case when Carmen knocked on the door and announced you. As per your usual routine, you nodded curtly at Liv before zeroing in on Barba like a heat-seeking missile. You marched over to stand on the other side of his desk, and Barba knew by now not to bother with polite small talk about the weather. He seemed to have lost that privilege when he rebuffed you all those months ago at the wine bar.

“Counselor,” he said in greeting, and his mentally girded himself for a fight. Increasingly, your meetings with him were getting tenser. It was his fault, probably, when he made it personal by calling you “girl wonder” sarcastically once, and you had glared at him so hard that he almost withered under the force of your stare. Almost.

“The Forni case,” you replied. “Let’s talk plea deal.”

He scoffed at this and saw Liv start to open her mouth to add her two cents, so he held a silencing hand out to her. “I’ll take my chances at court.”

The corner of your mouth twitched as you fought a smile. “You sure about that, Barba?”

“I’d consider rape in the second degree. Five years, and he goes on the registry.”

“I’d consider forcible touching,” you retorted. “Probation, mandatory therapy.”

Barba laughed outright. “A misdemeanor? Don’t waste my time.”

You held up your hand and ticked off your points. “One, you can’t prove that my client even had sex with the victim…”

“The rape kit tested positive for lubricant,” Live cut in, and you just rolled her interruption into your list of points without even looking at her.

“Two, the victim is married and is rumored to have a piece on the side, so lubricant is a non-issue.” You paused for a split second, waiting for another interruption. Your eyes never left Barba’s; he wondered if you were this intense with other ADAs. He couldn’t imagine you staring down Callier or O’Dwyer with such passion.

“Three,” you continued, “Forni’s mother has been fighting with the victim over noise complaints for months.”

“Which gives me a motive for the defendant attacking her,” Barba cut in.

“Which gives me a motive for the victim lying,” you snapped. “And four, I have reason to believe that my client is himself a victim of sexual abuse. He needs therapy and support, not hard time with grown men.”

“How noble of you,” Barba murmured, and he saw you clench your jaw. “But what about support for the victim? Moreover, what about justice?”

“What’s just about sending an underaged kid to an adult prison? That’s vengeance.”

Barba shrugged. “That’s the law.”

“An eye for the eye makes the whole world blind,” you replied, and Barba laughed outright again. He was thinking, more and more, that you were some sort of bleeding-heart do-gooder after all.

“Embroider it on a pillow,” he snarked. “Don’t use it for a basis of legal argument.”

“At least I keep it pithy,” you sassed back at him. “Your closing arguments are so wordy and long-winded, you couldn’t embroider it on a blanket.”

The two of you stared at each other for a moment, and Barba refused to look away first. Instead, he studied your face, smirking a bit at the way your nostrils flared almost imperceptibly as you raged quietly. Finally, you blinked and stepped away from his desk.

“I’ll see you in court then,” you declared, and you flounced out without another word. Barba could practically feel the energy in the room shift as you left, like you were a storm front passing by.

He leaned back in his chair and then glanced over at Liv. He’d nearly forgotten that she was even there. That was the problem with you: in court and in these little encounters, the rest of the world seemed to fall away. Liv, for her part, was giving him that infuriating soft smile she had when she felt like she had some new insight into Barba’s character or inner thoughts.

“What?” he barked, sounding meaner than he intended.

“What was that all about?” she asked.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Her smile widened. “I saw you staring at each other. I just wasn’t sure if it was sexual tension or murderous rage.”

“Neither,” he said. “And stop smiling like that. It’s just business.”

Liv held up her hands in mock surrender and stood up to leave too. But the smile never left her face, and she even chuckled softly to herself as she made her way to the door.

“For my money, that looked a lot like sexual tension to me,” she said, and she ducked out of his office before he had a chance to come up with a snarky response.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #tropes and tales

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noellawrites · 2 years

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How would you describe the SVU guys as yanderes? You’re definitely inspiring me to write and I want to make a dark/yandere series of my own. :))

a/n: great question! and thank you, it means a lot to know i’ve inspired you <3 if you ever do write or post something let me know bc i’d love to read it! ❤️

The SVU Men As Yanderes

warnings: yandere stuff, domestic violence, bullying, obsession, violence, breeding/pregnancy mention

Nick Amaro is highly jealous and possessive. he’ll throw hands if someone even looks at you the wrong way, and chances are you’ll have to bail him out of jail. good luck getting away from him, he’ll rarely let you out of his sight. he text bombs you all the time when you’re apart, too. domestic issues would probably include him screaming in your face, grabbing you and leaving bruises and throwing shit (not necessarily at you). he’s scary so you’d better stay in line.

Rafael Barba is manipulative and mean. he can easily outsmart you and he wants you to know that, too. he makes you feel dumb and useless, like you need him to even function. he finds joy in belittling you and hurting you, especially verbally. making fun of your clothes, teasing you for using a word wrong. he’s trying to subtly train you, make sure you’ll be well-behaved for him at fancy events and galas. he will strike you across the face or kick you down if he thinks it will make you behave.

Sonny Carisi is obsessive and overly-affectionate. he sees no problems with love-bombing you, tracking your whereabouts and making everything in your life his business. he can be strict and mean when he thinks you’ve tried to trick him or betray him. he will also yell in your face and occasionally slam you into the wall and tower over you if it’ll get you to listen. he also has the biggest breeding/pregnancy kink ever (Italian Catholic w/big family) so get ready to have like 5 kids.

Mike Dodds is protective and controlling. he has no qualms about using his power as a Sergeant or his father’s reputation to control you or scare you into submission. he wants you to be perfect for him at all times and he’s obsessed with being able to take care of you. he likes to think of you as his little doll, pliant while allowing him to bathe you, dress you and mark you up. he loves seeing his bruises on your skin, it’s just another way to control you.

#rafael barba x reader #sonny carisi x reader #nick amaro x reader #mike dodds x reader #yandere rafael barba #yandere sonny carisi #yandere nick amaro #yandere mike dodds

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im-just-a-mississippi-girl · 2 years

Text

Meant To Be

Pairing: Sonny Carisi x female!reader

Category: Fluff

Word count: 3,807

Summary: A look back on Sonny’s relationship with you and the future with your daughter.

Warnings: Swearing, female reader but no description of reader, pregnancy, childbirth

Requested by: @1dluver13xx — thanks to this post!

A/N: I didn’t mean for this to get extremely long, but fluffy!Sonny, especially girl dad!Sonny is a big weakness. Basically, I got carried away. 😅 Hope you enjoy! ❤️

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Gif is not mine. Credit to owner

Dominick “Sonny” Carisi, Jr. always thought he’d have the stereotypical ‘all American, apple pie life’. You know the one: a spouse, maybe a pet, a cozy house, and a couple kids. At this point in Sonny’s life, he was beginning to question if it was in the cards for him, if it was meant to be.

All that questioning and uncertainty went out the window when he met you. He knew he’d marry you one day — as cliché as it sounds. You occupied his thoughts every minute of everyday since. He tried his hardest to stay focused at work, being a detective with Manhattan’s Special Victims Unit he had to stay focused, he had a very important job to do. He also tried his hardest to stay focused on his schoolwork, going to Fordham Law school was hard work as it was, but balancing law school on top of working at SVU was even harder. The man barely got enough sleep and missed out on a lot. He was alway afraid he’d miss out on love, but luckily, you crossed Sonny’s path one fateful morning.

It was early, 6:30 to be exact, when you placed your order at the café a few blocks from your apartment. You ordered what has came to be your favorite breakfast since discovering this little café on your walk to work one morning. It’s what you called a ‘hidden gem’ and recommended it to anyone that wanted somewhere cozy with a great atmosphere and even better food.

Once you had collected your order from the counter, you turned to make your way to the door when someone literally almost knocked you down. Thankfully, arms caught you before you could fall and spill your breakfast. “Oh my gosh! I am so sorry. Are you alright?” A concerned and equally panicked male voice asked, helping you steady yourself.

“I didn’t fall on my face and my breakfast is still in tact, so yes, I’m fine.” You attempt to make light of the situation. Looking up to see the man that ran into you but saved you from embarrassment, you all but freeze, taking in the handsome man’s features. He’s tall, slim build with darkish brown hair that has hints of grey throughout and gorgeous baby blue eyes. You were so taken aback by his angelic good looks that you didn’t realize the stranger had gone quiet as well, taking in your beautiful features in return.

The café began getting more crowded the longer the two of you stood there gawking at one another. A younger woman broke the apparent trance between you and this man — whose name you still didn’t know — when she needed to pass by to reach a vacant table.

The two of you stepped out of the crowded café making small talk as you did so. You found out his name is Dominick Carisi Jr., but he goes by the name Sonny. You gave him your name in return, smiling as he rambled about making it up to you somehow for almost ruining your morning. “Would you maybe want to meet back here a six this afternoon? I know a great restaurant on this street.” You offered.

“I’m not sure I’ll be able to make it with my job, but I’ll try my hardest.” Sonny informed. “I’m a detective with the Special Victims Unit so my schedule can be hectic and cases can take a while.”

“Oh I see. Well, how about I give you my number, and you can tell me if you can make it or not. We can reschedule if you’re still interested.” You suggested. You didn’t think about him being a detective, but you had a gut feeling that he was of some importance by the suit he had on. You quickly scribble your phone number on a sticky note you kept in your purse and hand it to Sonny when you were finished.

Sonny checks the time on his watch and you notice his eyes go wide. “Oh shit, I’m gonna be late if I don’t go right now. I’ll text you later about this afternoon.”

You nod, unable to fight the smile making its way to your lips. “Of course! You better hurry, don’t wanna be late! I’d feel horrible.” You ushered Sonny in the direction of the precinct. You hear Sonny laughing as you do so.

The two of you go your separate ways. You think about Sonny the reminder of the day and hope he stays safe now that you know his occupation.

Fast forward four years later and you and Sonny have been going strong. Sure, there’s been ups and downs like with all relationships, but Sonny never lets an argument go unresolved. Despite having a busy and demanding job, Sonny always makes time for you, wining and dining you, warm bubble baths with your favorite candles and flowers, you name it.

Sonny was so nervous when the big night finally came. He wanted everything to be perfect, asking Olivia and Amanda for help. The ladies didn’t really do much but point Sonny in the right direction.

He planned for quiet night in with you. He cooked a delicious Italian meal for two, wine and candles on the table. He timed dinner just right as you entered his apartment, stopping in your tracks as you smelt the food, your favorite Italian food to be exact.

“Oh my…” you trailed off, taking in the scene before you. Sonny setting the table, wine glasses and candles inviting you to take a seat, and you just now noticed soft music in the background.

“Come sit. Dinner’s ready!” Sonny beamed, gesturing to the table and all the food. You grin, still speechless but take your seat regardless. You didn’t recall any special occasion for this, but then again, Sonny was always surprising you with sweet and romantic gestures.

Once Sonny’s joined you at the table, you both fill your plates with the picture perfect food in front of yours. You knew Sonny was an amazing cook thanks to Mama Carisi and Sonny’s interest in helping her when he was younger. You took turns filling the other in on your day and enjoying the peaceful dinner.

After dinner, Sonny clears the empty dishes and returns to his seat, a gift in hand. “Close your eyes for second, doll.” He tells you. You give him a questioning look but do as told, he’s never steered you wrong before. With your eyes closed, you hear rustling next to you and you want to sneak a peak so badly, but you think better of it. “Alright, open those gorgeous eyes.” You hear Sonny, smile evident in his voice. Slowly opening your eyes, you look around, looking for anything different on the table but nothing. You feel Sonny’s hand gently rest against your cheek farthest from him and turn your head in his direction. You gasp seeing a sparkling piece of jewelry in his hand. Looking up at him in shock, you see Sonny smiling ear to ear, happiness radiating off of him.

You open your mouth to speak but no words come out. Your heart is racing and hands trembling, you can only imagine how Sonny feels. Is this really happening? Is this a dream? If it’s a dream, you don’t want to wake up. You’ve been daydreaming about this day for years. That day you met Sonny you felt a connection and after a few dates, you knew he was the one.

“Doll, these past four years have been the best years of my life and I want to keep that going. I want you by my side for the rest of our lives. You have no idea how happy, loved, cared for, and important you make me feel. I’ll never forget that day we met at that coffee shop, just like I’ll never forget everything in between. I couldn’t ask for a better partner in this hectic schedule I have. You’re always so understanding when I have to cancel or be hours late. I love when you swing by to bring me lunch on particular busy days, how well you get along with my work family and my real family too. You’re the sweetest, most thoughtful, and funniest person I’ve ever met, and that’s saying something, I mean have you met me?” Sonny teased, both of you laughing through the sweet tears that managed to fall. “Doll, will you do me the honor and marry me? I can’t imagine life without you. I love you more than words can describe.”

You were still speechless, tears still slipping from your eyes. All you could do was nod your head repeatedly. You watched Sonny slide the ring on your finger, wearing a smile so big your cheeks hurt. “I love you, handsome. I promise to be the best wife I can be.” You finally regained your voice enough to speak.

Sonny gently pulled you into a sweet, loving, and passionate kiss to which you reciprocated with your whole heart.

One year after the proposal, it was finally the day of the wedding — yours and Sonny’s dream wedding. You made sure that he gave his input and helped make decisions, it was his big day too, after all.

You were beyond nervous, not because you changed your mind but because you were terrified that you’d trip and fall or some other embarrassing thing would happen.

Olivia and Amanda were quick to reassure you it would all be fine and that, even if something crazy did happen, Sonny would never leave you on your wedding day — or any day for that matter. They both reminded you that you and Sonny were meant to be.

Thirty minutes later, you’re walking down the aisle towards Sonny, the love of your life. The moment Sonny sees you, he’s in tears, you took his breath away in that dress and he couldn’t believe this was reality and not some dream he’s had since you accepted his proposal. You had tears in your eyes as well for many of the same reasons, Sonny looked like the most handsome prince you’ve ever seen and this was really happening.

Once the wedding was over, the reception began. You and Sonny made rounds visiting your guests and thanking them for being a part of your special day. As the reception went on and heartfelt speeches were made, you and Sonny realized just how loved the two of your were. The remainder of the evening was spent laughing, eating, and dancing off into the night.

Two years after your wedding, you find out some big, life changing news — you’re pregnant. You and Sonny wanted to wait until you settled into the married life and your respective jobs became less hectic, granted Sonny’s job didn’t always stay less hectic but there were moments when it did.

It wasn’t until recently, the past three months or so, you and Sonny talked about kids, and finally decided you’d start trying. The two of you hadn’t had any luck unfortunately, until now. You stood in the bathroom of your home, jaw dropped as tears welled up in your eyes. You were in shock. Was this real or a dream? Is this test really true? You took one more test to be sure. Positive. You had to find a cute way to tell Sonny. You went to the Pinterest for inspiration, and low and behold, you found the perfect idea. You quickly found a website to customize the cutest onesie to say: ‘Surprise! Your going to be a daddy!’ as well as Sonny a shirt that says: ‘My jokes are officially dad jokes’. You laughed when you read that one and knew Sonny would love it. While you waited for the shirt and onesie to arrive, you casually bought a few small things to add to Sonny’s little announcement box. You bought a blank card and wrote him a little heartfelt note. You wrote about how much you love him and can’t wait to embark on this journey with him amongst other sweet words. You didn’t realize you were getting so emotional until you felt a tear slid down your cheek. You wiped it away and finished the note saying: ‘The only thing better than having you as my husband is our child having you as their dad. I love you — no — we love you!’.

Later on that evening, Sonny was finally on his way home, calling to see if he needed to pick up anything for dinner. You told him no and that you had it covered adding that he better hurry home for a surprise. Sonny laughed and said he’d be there shortly and that he loved you.

You quickly got everything set up and put the finishing touches on dinner, chicken spaghetti and breadsticks you picked up from the local bakery you and Sonny love so much. The table was set just as Sonny walked through the door. “Perfect timing, babe!” You giggle, grabbing glasses for drinks. Sonny set his things down by the door, giving you a quick peck on the cheek as he passes by you to wash his hands before joining you at the table.

Dinner was pleasant and conversation flowed freely, despite you being excited and a little nervous. You tried to keep your emotions at bay, but naturally Sonny noticed your demeanor. “Everything okay, doll?”

You look up from your plate and nod with a smile. “Couldn’t be better.” You grin, a gleam in your eyes. “When you’re done, you can have your surprise.”

Sonny was curious as to this surprise you had for him and slightly panicked too. It wasn’t his birthday or your anniversary. It wasn’t a holiday either so he was worried he forgot something important. He knew by the look you were giving him that you weren’t mad rather excited so that eased his thoughts. “Alright. I’m ready for this surprise. The suspense is killing me here!” He happily exclaimed.

You laughed and set the beautifully wrapped box on the table. Sonny carefully unwrapped the gift and opened the box. You watched as Sonny picked up the first item, the the dad jokes shirts. You watched him read the message and then look at you confused. You gestured for him to keep looking in the box. He did and pulled out the customized onesie. You could help but smile wide as Sonny read the message on it and jump up from his chair, tears in his eyes and a smile as wide as yours. “Are you — Doll, please tell me this ain’t a joke.” You got up and grabbed the handwritten card and told him to read it, tears in your eyes as well from watching the love of your life putting the pieces together and grasping that this was real. Sonny read the card, he was full on crying by the time he finished. He wrapped you up in a tight hug, lifting you slightly off the ground. The two of you were crying happy tears, after trying the past three months and not having any luck, the positive result was overwhelming for you both. “I love you and I love you too baby Carisi.” Sonny placed a soft kiss to your lips before placing a soft kiss to your stomach.

The rest of the evening was spent talking about the little one, anything from names to nursery decor to debating if the baby would be a boy or a girl. You said girl and Sonny said boy.

The whole pregnancy Sonny was right there with you and if he couldn’t be there he had his mom be with you. He refused to let you be alone despite you telling him it would all be okay. He was just worried about something happening or going wrong and no one being there to help you or take care of you and the baby. He saw enough horrific things at work, he didn’t need anything bad happening at home.

You got used to Sonny or Mama Carisi being there. As it turned out, you liked having the company and realized that Sonny had good intentions and just wanted to keep you and your unborn baby safe.

Finally, time came to find out the gender of baby Carisi. You were on the fence about doing the whole gender reveal thing and so was Sonny, but with some persuasion from Amanda and Liv, you decided to do a small one — just you, Sonny, his squad from work, and both your families and few close friends. Since Liv and Amanda persuaded you into this you put them in charge for the party.

As people arrived, you and Sonny went around videoing everyone give their guesses on baby Carisi’s gender. Majority of the guests agreed with you and said girl, saying that Sonny was meant to be a girl dad, especially since he grew up with all sisters. Sonny responded by shaking his head, laughing and replying with, “That’s the reason we’re having a boy!”, with a big smile on his face.

Liv and Amanda opted to have the reveal be done by a simple popping a balloon and having the blue or pink confetti fall out. The women decided to keep it simple since you and Sonny were not the extravagant, over the top type of people. You were happy with how the party all turned out, the girls really out did themselves. The two women rounded you and Sonny up to pop the balloon. Your guests crowded around, phones in hand ready to record the moment.

Sonny held the balloon and you got ready to pop it with the pin. The countdown began and when everybody reached one, you popped the balloon and everyone watched as pink confetti floated all around. You and your fellow team girl members cheered while Sonny and his team boy members jokingly booed. You threw your arms around Sonny, overjoyed with the news. When you broke the hug, you looked Sonny in the eyes and said, “See! You are meant to be a girl dad!”

The day you went into labor was what you called ‘calm chaos’ because while you were fairly calm, Sonny was stressed and panicking hence the chaos half of your made up term. Finally at the hospital, you and Sonny were taken to the labor and delivery wing where you were waiting to be fully dilated to begin delivery.

Sonny was by your side, holding your hand and reassuring you that it would all be okay. You were grateful to have Sonny in general but especially in this moment, you would have been freaking out without him. Sonny’s presence always made you feel calm, safe, and loved.

A couple hours later you were ready to push. Throughout the delivery, you all but broke Sonny’s hand and he took it like a champ, he had to grit his teeth and bite his tongue but he did it. Both your pain was thankfully short lived after delivery began. Baby Carisi made her arrival and you and Sonny were beaming with tear filled eyes. When you held her, you couldn’t hold back the tears and neither could Sonny. You were exhausted and Sonny noticed carefully taking her from your arms. “Rest, doll. I got her.” That’s all you needed to hear from Sonny before falling asleep, happy with your adorable little family.

Fast forward to present day, Sonny was playing tea party with his baby girl, the light of his life aside from you. You watched from the door way as your thee year old poured Sonny some more tea as her told her all about his favorite animal. You smiled and snapped a quick picture of the two before slipping away to make some lunch for the three of you.

Ever since the day the little princess arrived, her and Sonny were thick as thieves, always together the second Sonny walked through the door. More often than not you caught them passed out on the couch or the chair in your daughter’s room, her snuggled up on Sonny’s chest with his arm wrapped protectively around her. He was definitely meant to be a girl dad and you never let him live it down, especially since baby number two is going to be a little girl too.

Every time Sonny looked at your daughter playing or sleeping all he could do was imagine the teenager and young woman she would grow up to be. He pictured her being a social butterfly because at three years old, she always waved and smiled at anybody that passed her. Sonny wasn’t too sure about her doing that but he figured as long as he was there it was okay. He knew all too well how some people had sick and twisted thoughts about children and he was always cautious with his little girl out in public.

He would picture her doing all those typical kid things, participating in different activities until she found one she liked. Your daughter loved helping Sonny cook or you bake which led Sonny to picture her going to culinary school and ultimately owning her own restaurant or being some kind of professional chef.

The only thing that worried Sonny was the teenage years. He knew between you and him talking with her and her seeing what love and a healthy relationship was that she would be alright. He also knew that he’d drop anything in that instant to console her if a boy broke up with her. Broken hearts were the worst and Sonny knew teenagers would feel like it’s the end of the world. He also knew teenagers could be mean and he never wants anyone being mean to his baby girl so he knew he’d let her vent or cry as long as she needed all while quietly planning a daddy/daughter day that she would pretend she was too old for but was overjoyed about it on the inside.

Sonny also pictured his princess on her wedding day, how they would both be a crying mess because it’s a happy occasion but one that meant change, that she was officially a fully grown woman who was about to embark on a new adventure with her love just like he had done with you. Then his thoughts trailed to being a grandfather and how excited he would be, from being at his daughter’s side just like he had her whole life and like he had been with you to playing with his grandchild or grandchildren, spoiling them rotten just for his daughter to scold him. He wouldn’t mind though because he would be too happy with how his life and his daughter’s life turned out, thick as thrives and best friends until the end of time.

A/N: If you want to be added to the taglist, feel free to ask, message, or let me know in a comment!

#sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi imagine #sonny carisi imagines #sonny carisi fanfiction #law and order: special victims unit #law and order svu fanfiction #law and order svu #law and order special victims unit #law and order: svu imagines #svu

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nophunleague · 2 months

Text

stare decisis: chapter six - praeterita vitas

praeterita vitas: latin for past lives

masterlist

wc: 1187

rafael barba x original female character

Whatever progress Quinn had thought she made on her relationship with her co-counsel and the squad during the Brubeck case had proven to be futile. Not even a week later, there she is again, alone in the office prepping for court while Barba is off running suspects down with the squad.

She paces around the room barefoot, heels discarded in the late afternoon hour, while she practices her opening statement for the trial that starts tomorrow.

“Members of the jury. Detached from reality, devoid of decency, dangerous. Three things that you will learn describe the defendant, Beau Watts. My name is Quinn Brady, throughout this trial myself and my co-counsel, Rafael Barba, will prove to you each and every element of the crime of sexual assault in the state of New York beyond a reasonable doubt. And before we start talking about the evidence you will learn about, we want to define what beyond a reasonable doubt means-” she’s cut off by a voice from the doorway of her office. The notes she’s holding in her left hand fall to her side and she looks to the door.

“Do you always define the burden? What purpose does that serve?” Carisi is posted up, small notepad in his hand - taking notes.

“Detective, you shouldn’t sneak up on people,” she maneuvers back toward her desk, throwing the notepad down on the tabletop. “I define the burden because people don’t understand that you don’t have to be 100% certain, as bad as that sounds. And I introduce myself and Mr. Barba so that the jury sees us as people, not robots trying to put someone in prison,” he nods along in understanding as he scribbles her words down. “Barba tired of tutoring you?”

“Maybe, Miss Brady. It's nearing the end of the semester so I have a lot of questions,” Sonny shrugs sheepishly, she motions to the chair in front of her desk and he takes a seat. “Say you have evidence pertaining to the victim that makes them look less credible than would be preferred, how would you handle that?” Quinn sits across from the eager part time law student.

“You draw the sting, you mention it - get it out there in front of the jury before the defense has a chance to make it look like you’re hiding it or afraid of it. I prefer to do it during opening statements, especially if I know that the defense already knows about it,” Sonny nods along understandingly. “What makes you want to practice law?”

“I’m not sure I want to ma’am, just thought it might make me a better detective,” he explains, she looks at him inquisitively.

“You’re going to law school? To be a better cop? That had to have been an incredibly unique personal statement for your applications,” she laughs, her head falling back showcasing the long layers her auburn hair is cut in, he laughs along.

“Why did you choose law?” her frame grows somber in the blink of an eye, raising her head back up to meet his eyes.

“I wanted to serve, in a way that most people never even think of doing. I wanted to represent a system that our country was built on and I wanted to protect and serve,” she grabs the end pieces of a lock of hair and begins to pick at it.

“So you didn’t always want to be a prosecutor then?” he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, she counts the wrinkles on his tense forehead rather than meeting his eyes.

“Yes and no, I did it for a few years at the beginning of my career and then I shifted into a different area of law until I came here, well to Queens,” he can’t sense it but a thick ball of anxiety has begun to crawl its way up her throat, begging her to stop talking about this. “I’ll answer your next question before you ask, and then I really have to get back to work,” she says as politely as possible while he nods, “I worked in the national security area of law, there’s honestly not much I can talk about from my time there anyway.” Sonny’s polite about her cutting the conversation short, he thanks her for her time and is on his way.

Quinn however slows to return to work. She opens a drawer on the side of her desk and pulls out a polaroid of her and a man. They’re both in matching light brown t-shirts, her hair is pulled tightly into a bun at the back of her head and his hair is cut relatively short. His arm is thrown over her shoulder and it looks like she’s laughing at something he said. Her eyes fall to the strip of white at the bottom of the polaroid where she had made a notation.

Zach and Quinn. Fallujah, Iraq. 10 January, 2010.

“Hey Lieutenant Brady! They guys want to know if they can just go outside the wire, just to hangout,” Quinn’s counterpart, Commander Zachary Hamilton calls out to her as he enters their tent of an office.

“I think there’s a fat chance of that Sir,” she laughs as he reaches her, he winks.

“They would be out of your hair if they left, and my hands would be in your hair instead,” his voice is low as he leans closer to her to pick up a file from the table she’s standing next to. Her breath hitches in her throat at the close and public proximity, what they’re doing is inappropriate let alone permissible.

“I don’t think that’s an advisable course of action Sir,” Quinn says loudly as someone begins to walk toward them. It’s Special Operator Second Class Kacey, a member of the team Quinn and Zach are attached to as legal advisors.

“Sir, Ma’am! Let me get a picture of the most amazing legal advisors any SEAL team could ever ask for,” Kacey is holding up the polaroid camera before either officer can affirm or deny permission. Quinn starts to lean away from Zach but still smiles.

“Oh come on Brady, smile for the camera, let’s make this young man’s dreams come true by letting him have a picture of two lawyers,” Zach’s arm is firmly placed across her shoulders in an instant, pulling her into his side forcefully but Quinn laughs along anyway.

“We are the shining example of the Navy’s prime warfighting force Sir, with briefs and legal citations,” she jokes along with him while Kacey snaps two pictures, he keeps one and hands the other to Quinn before excusing himself. A roar of applause from the team can be heard from inside the tent as Kacey appears with a camera. If there’s one thing SEALs like to do when deployed is document their time in the Sandpit. Zach watches it develop over Quinn’s shoulder, his warm breath dusting the back of her neck.

“I like it, keep it and we’ll frame it when we get home,” he whispers and kisses the back of her head lightly after determining the coast was clear.

#svu #law and order svu #rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #amanda rollins #fin tutuola #nick amaro #olivia benson #original character #sonny carisi

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bi-bard · 2 years

Text

The Art of Aging - Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Imagine (Law & Order: S.V.U)

Title: The Art of Aging

Pairing: Dominick "Sonny" Carisi X Reader

Word Count: 643 words

Warning(s): none

Summary: Time passes, people change. However, that doesn't always mean that people grow apart. Sometimes it means the exact opposite.

Author's Note: This is meant to be an apology for that last Sonny imagine I posted. It's just a cute and short imagine. As a treat.

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I remember meeting Sonny for the first time.

I remember him with brown hair, a wrinkled shirt, and that mustache sitting on his face. He was new to S.V.U. He didn't quite have the same air of empathy and control that came with time in the unit.

But he was sweet. Sweet and funny. Eager to learn and get better. He wanted to put in the work. He wanted to make a difference.

I remember his smile when I complimented him after shaving off his mustache.

He asked out for drinks after a case back then.

I said yes.

It was an innocent thing. We sat at the bar, had a few drinks, and talked. It was a few hours. It was nice. I was finally getting a chance to see what he was like. What he wanted now that he was part of S.V.U.

Nothing else happened that night.

Nothing else would happen for another few weeks.

I kissed him first. Though there were still times when he would insist that it was the other way around.

Outside my apartment door. Long case. Sonny wanted to make sure that I got home okay because I was almost falling asleep standing up. I grabbed his arm before he could walk away and pulled him into a kiss.

It was short, gentle. Almost awkward. We hadn't learned each other's small patterns yet. Kissing always seemed so... basic. I never thought about the small habits that you could pick up until that moment.

I pulled away soon after, muttering a quick good night before going to hide away in my apartment.

Our kisses changed after that.

Over time, we began to understand each other. Learn each other's patterns. Slower. Calmer. It was all so much easier with time.

Time let us learn everything about each other. Favorite foods and childhood memories. Fears and dreams. Weird habits and stupid jokes.

We learned everything about each other.

And we changed. We grew. Everyone does. It was a natural part of life.

But we grew around each other. Rough edges smoothed themselves out until our pieces fit together perfectly. I never entertained the idea of being so happy with someone, but with Sonny, it all felt so natural.

It was like rereading your favorite book all over again. Finding new details in the story. Aging pages turning yellow was instead hair turning grey and wrinkles forming on faces. But no matter the change in shape and look, the story was still great. It was still your favorite.

Sonny and I understood each other. All the good and the bad and the ugly. We moved around each other like it was choreographed.

Bad cases ended with us falling asleep on the couch. We would both be uncomfortable in the morning, but it seemed to always happen. Nasty habit.

We always spoke about having some kind of budget when getting presents for each other but neither one of us ever stuck to it.

New movies had to be discussed, trailers watched, and if someone at work recommended it, it should be approached with caution and a more critical eye. And if I rambled about who was in the cast, Sonny knew better than to say something that made me feel bad about it.

After he started working with the D.A.'s office, I would always get him flowers when he won a case. Even when he would say that I shouldn't have.

We were right together.

It was nice to know that no matter what could go wrong, we could rely on each other.

Years were spent together. Growing and changing. Becoming who we were supposed to be. It was all so much easier when we were together.

Growing together, being together... it made growing old more than simply growing old.

It made it all seem like the art of aging.

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Navigation Guide

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

#law and order svu x reader #law and order svu imagine #law and order svu fanfiction #law and order imagine #law and order fanfiction #law and order x reader #dominick carisi fanfiction #dominick carisi x reader #dominick carisi imagine #sonny carisi fanfiction #sonny carisi imagine #sonny carisi x reader #imagine #fanfiction #x reader

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storiesofsvu · 4 months

Note

You probably already answered this recently and im probably just blind as a bat here but:

What you got in that WIP/To-be-written pile?

Cant wait to know what i have to look forward to!

-Ara

hahha it's all good! i tried to find it to link but i couldn't s... here's what we've got (for one shots. series i'm not including lol)

Elana Barth x reader-> mommy kink smut

Byran Kneef-> where yn's been teasing him all day and now he's going to tease her relentlessly back and be a little mean

Casey Novak x Rita Calhoun -> fluffy morning after (established relationship)

Sonny Carisi --> relationship angst where they come to a realization that while they thought they wanted the same thing, opinions change.

CM ladies mega smut -> yn friends w JJ, briefly and casually dated Em before Paris, briefly and casually dated Alex when she was on the team and now has just met Tara and is trying not to drool. Makes a joke to Em about how she doesn't know who to go home with and Em takes matters into her own hand.

Derek Morgan --> soft reassuring smut ending with some squirting

DiNozzo -> One first morning after fluff -> One first date fluff

Emily -> secret marriage fluff where the team finally finds out who she's married to

Hotch -> fluffy semi established relationship, fools in love kinda thing with a twist -> sneaky courtroom bathroom quickie ->developing relationship, protective hotch, stay the night fluff -> fluffy, developing relationship morning at work fluff

Poly Barhoun -> meeting somewhat shy/inexperienced yn at a sex club where they take her home and show her the ropes

-> pegging smut

Sonya Paxton -> comforting fluff. yn and her met outside of work post rehab stint. sonya hesitant about coming clean about her past.

Rita Calhoun -> sub rita smut. she's had a long, stressful week and yn takes it upon herself to make sure her weekend starts off in higher spirits

Addison Montgomery -> super fluffy, first kiss/first admittance of feelings.

Joe Velasco -> idiots in love trope, involving the whole squad

-> yn, bruno and joe find themselves sharing a hotel room while at an out of town conference with some rather loud and rambunctious neighbours. they figure if you can't beat 'em, join them... and have some fun of their own.

Abigail Borin -> daddy smut. pwp

Amelia Sheherd -> developing relationship super fluffy cuteness ->blooming flirtation fluff

As for series:

Alex Blake has one: fluffy, hurt/comfort

Rafael Barba: one spicy, fluffy one -> one mainly fluffy, sorta poly!barhoun harvard au style mini series

Heather Dunbar: -> three, all spicy fluffy, one with a bit of h/c -> one political thriller that's poly heather x jackie x reader

Hotch: -> 2 fluffy, semi spicy ones

Rita Calhoun -> 4. 2 AU's that are mainly spicy with a hint of drama. 1 mega fluffy. 1 fluff, hurt/comfort

Emily Prentiss -> one mainly fluff with a hint of thriller

One that's a CM and SVU crossover but i haven't figured out details and pairings yet!

I've also been going through prompt lists recently like i did when i first started writing to find ones that stand out to me and then assign them to character/see if anything sparks a good idea in my head. I either haven't been getting requests recently, or they're ones that have ONLY been the prompt and it hasn't sparked anything. I also deleted a bunch of stuff that was in my WIP folder cause it had been sitting too long without any work being done on it cause again, no ideas on how to flesh things out.

#WIP #on the docket #storiesofsvu

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polkadotpenguin16 · 15 days

Text

The Five Stages of Grief: Depression

A/N: Thank you to everyone for your patience in waiting for me to finish this chapter! Getting myself to write has felt like pulling teeth as of late. But we’re here! And we’re almost done!! Let’s get angsty…

Pairing: Sonny Carisi x female reader

Tags: you read the title, right?

Word count: 2,410

Previous parts: Prologue | Denial | Anger | Bargaining

Also posted on AO3.

You and your friend were lounging on the couch, devouring a carton of chocolate chip mint ice cream, while watching what felt like an endless Lord of the Rings marathon. “I don’t remember this being so long,” you mused as you licked chocolate bits off your fingers.

“That’s cuz it’s the extended edition,” she replied with her mouth full of ice cream. “It’s the only way to watch it. You want to feel like you’re walking to Mordor in real-time.”

You smirked and shook your head at her logic. This was nice. Getting lost in Middle Earth was a welcomed distraction from inner turmoil.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” Your friend shifted herself on the couch to look at you. “When are we gonna get your stuff?”

You looked at her confused. “My stuff?”

“Yeah, from your apartment? You can stay as long as you like. Just wanna know if we need to rent a truck or something.”

“Um…” You hadn’t thought about what exactly your next steps were. If you and Sonny were over, that meant moving out of the apartment. It meant packing up the pieces of your old life, the one you’d built with Sonny, and moving on. And that was terrifying.

“Hey, hey, no pressure here!” She reassured you as she saw the panicked look on your face. “We don’t need to plan anything tonight. Let’s just watch the movie. I think Aragorn is gonna do something badass in a minute, anyway.”

It was late when you finished all the movies. Your friend went to bed, but you couldn’t sleep. The gravity of your situation was weighing heavily on your chest. It was truly over. You believed only a day ago that this was what you wanted.

This was what was best for you and Sonny.

You had thought you would both move on to better things—people better suited for each other. And Sonny probably would. But you realized that you didn’t want better.

You just wanted Sonny.

You missed him. A lot. Missed his laugh, his smile, the way his brows scrunched together when he was concentrating. You missed laying your head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat. And all those times Sonny was working until 3 in the morning or disappearing to help Amanda, you had missed him. And you never let him know. “It’s fine” was what you always said. But it wasn’t fine. You missed him, needed him, wanted him, and you never told him.

“What have I done?” You were curled up in a ball on the floor. Your cheeks felt cold from the tears streaming down them. There was no coming back from this. You walked out that night. You ignored him. You said some unforgivable things. You ruined everything.

Spiraling into a black hole of despair, you felt hopeless. You resigned yourself to the darkness, hoping it would engulf you. Your heart ached in your chest. What hurt more than knowing it was over, was thinking of how much pain you caused Sonny. Beyond leaving that night, you turned down every attempt he made to reconcile. He was trying. All you’d wanted for so long was for him to try, to choose you. And when he did? You practically slapped him in the face with it. He deserved better than that.

But what could you do? The damage was done. Sonny wasn’t going to reach out to you again. Not after what you said. He was done trying.

Perhaps now was your turn to start.

You could reach out to him. But what would you say? What do you even tell someone after you broke their heart? You grabbed your phone and started composing a text. Your hands shook as you typed and retyped the message. You weren’t going to get all your thoughts into one text. The right thing to do would be to tell him in person. Maybe he’d give you the grace you so rudely denied him.

Hi. I’d really like to talk to you if you’re willing to listen. But I’d understand if you aren’t. Would you meet me at Prospect Park on Saturday?

After several minutes of working up your nerve, you hit send and put your phone down. You waited anxiously, silently praying he would reply. The suspense was killing you. You imagined this was how Sonny felt when you ignored him, and that made you hate yourself even more.

You don’t know how long you sat in the dark when you heard your phone ping. You couldn’t breathe as you picked it up and saw a new message.

3pm work for you?

You let out your breath and immediately replied.

Yes, I’ll be there. Thank you.

He’d accepted your olive branch. Maybe there was still a chance for the two of you. Even if there wasn’t, at least you would be able to apologize face to face. He deserved that. Whatever the outcome of Saturday, you had the chance to make things right.

It was nearing 10 o’clock, and Sonny and Amanda were the last ones at the station. Once he finished writing this report, he could finally leave. But he’d been stuck rewriting his last paragraph at least a dozen times. He was distracted thinking about you. By some miracle of God, you reached out and said you wanted to meet. About what you didn’t mention, but you were ready to talk to him. That was more than he’d ever expected.

But he didn’t want to get his hopes up. Maybe you just wanted to coordinate moving out, transferring the lease, and such. There was still a big chance you were over forever, and it emotionally destroyed him. Coming to grips with losing the love of his life had been incredibly depressing. You’d been the glue keeping him from coming apart at the seams. The thought of going through his life without you in it was incredibly painful, but nonetheless, a truth he was facing. However, he couldn’t help the optimist in him from thinking there was the tiniest sliver of hope that things could all work out. But the ball was in your court now. He’d apologized and tried his best to fix things. It was up to you now on how you both moved forward.

Sonny heard Rollins sigh from her desk in relief. “That’s it, I’m calling it a night. And so should you.” She got up and put on her jacket. “You know, I could use some help painting my apartment. It might cheer you up. I’ll even splurge and order wings with the pizza.”

“Sorry, not this weekend,” he replied, still staring at his laptop, trying to get his thoughts into his report so he could be done for the day, too.

She was surprised by his answer. He was never one to turn her down. “Really? You got something funner to do than manual labor and eating mediocre food with your friend?” She remarked sarcastically.

“No, um…I’m going to talk with my girlfriend on Saturday.”

She looked at him perplexed. “What’s there to talk about? I think she was loud and clear on what she thought of you.”

“She reached out to me, Rollins. I just want to hear her out.”

“Seriously? What could she possibly have to say for herself? Have some self-respect.”

Sonny shook his head and went back to typing. He wasn’t in the mood to bicker. He’d had enough arguing to last him a lifetime.

Undeterred, Rollins walked towards his desk and leaned down to look at him at eye level. “Listen, dating a detective…it’s not for everyone. It means missed birthdays and canceled dates. A lot is expected of us, and we sometimes miss out on things. She’s shown you she can’t cut it.”

“Well, maybe I can’t either.” Sonny sat back in his chair and slapped his thighs. He’d been having doubts about his career for a while. The pressure and horrors he faced were starting to get to him. He wasn’t sure if he had it in him to continue this path.

“What do you mean? Of course you can. You do it every day.” She was taken aback by his comment. She hadn’t noticed how disillusioned he’d become in the past several months.

“I don’t wanna be like those old timers who wind up bitter and alone. There’s gotta be more to life than…this.”

“Come on, you don’t mean that.” She came up to him and patted his shoulder. “This is our lives. It’s what we do. And you’re not gonna be alone, we’re partners.”

“You’re telling me you’ve never thought about calling it quits?” She huffed at his ridiculous question. “No, really. Day in and day out, dealing with the worst of the worst, you’ve never wanted a change?”

“You’re a cop, Carisi. It’s in your blood. What else would you be doing?”

“Oh, I don’t know, I could…” He took a second to ponder the possibilities. “I could be a consultant and sit on my ass all day getting fat and rich. Or become one of those hipster photographers who drives around the country taking pictures and living in a van. Hell, I could move to the DA’s office! Now that would be a change.” Sonny laughed at the thought. He’d played around with the idea of using his law degree, but never seriously given it any weight. Maybe this was his sign to start.

“Wait a sec…” She analyzed his face trying to decipher if he was genuinely considering this. “You can’t be serious.”

“Well, maybe. My law degree’s been gathering dust. Might be nice to get some use out of it. You know, a fresh start.”

Rollins’ demeanor changed. Her body tensed and her face became serious. “So, you would just throw away everything you’ve worked for? And for what? To make your girlfriend feel better about herself?” Her speech sped up as she tried to get all her thoughts out.

“Hey, leave her out of this.” He said defensively but calmly. “If I decide to go, it would be for me.”

“That’s not you, Carisi. The stuffy lawyers, the politics? You’d hate it there!”

“I haven’t even done anything! What are you getting so upset about?” Sonny couldn’t gauge what was getting her so upset. “I’m just talking about trying to make a better life for myself. Thought you’d want that for me.”

She looked at him like he had three heads. Her cheeks flushed red, and her jaw clenched tightly. “Be happy about you leaving? How stupid are you?”

Sonny stared at her in disbelief. He was completely perplexed on how this conversation turned from confiding in his friend to having his character bashed.

“And what about all of us here?” She gestured to the empty desks of the detectives who’d already gone home. “You would just—you’d pack up your stuff and ditch us? You said you were my partner, and you—you’re gonna walk out on me?” Rollins was becoming irate, stumbling over her words.

“You’re acting like I’m moving to the other side of the world!” He was at the end of his tether. His whole life, he’d been living for others. The never-ending pressure of having to be everything for everyone was too high. He couldn’t seem to do right by anybody. So why did he even try? “There’ll be other detectives. You’d be just fine.”

“No, I need you, Sonny! I need you here beside me!”

The room went deathly silent. It was finally clear to Sonny what she’d been trying to say. After all this time, this was how she really felt?

“When did that change, Amanda?” He asked, his voice no louder than a whisper. Hazy memories of a trip to West Virginia and long forgotten heartache were returning to him.

“Don’t tell me you never felt anything between us.” She stared down at her shoes, unable to look him in the eye just yet.

“Not since you made it clear there wasn’t.”

“I was…not in a good place back then,” she tried to explain. She finally looked up to meet his gaze, needing him to understand her reasoning in her eyes. “I knew you were looking for something serious and committed, and I wasn’t ready for that.”

“So you thought you could string me along until you were?” Sonny shot up from his chair and crossed his arms. He could hardly believe the words coming out of her mouth. His whole world felt turned upside down. He thought she was his friend who cared about him. He wasn’t sure what he believed anymore.

“Oh, please, you weren’t strung along,” she scoffed at his suggestion. “You’re telling me you weren’t happy to help me out? Hang out with my kids? I never asked you to do any of that—”

“No, you just expected it,” he snapped back. The voices of you and Bella echoed in his ears. “I wanted to help you, Amanda, to try to make your life a little easier. I did those things because I thought—”

“Anyone could see you were way more invested in your relationship with me than with your own girlfriend,” she sharply pointed out, her words cutting deeply into his heart. “We’re practically a family already, Carisi.”

Sonny stood there defeated. How could he have not seen all this? “You were my best friend…” he said breathlessly. Any fight left in him had evaporated. “Guess I was mistaken.” He closed his laptop and started collecting his things.

“Sonny, if you would just hear me out—”

“No, I’ve heard enough of this.” He put on his coat and made his way out. “It’s late, I’m going home.”

“Would you stop?!” She exclaimed in frustration, trying to get his attention. “You’re gonna give up your career, your life, for some girl who doesn’t even appreciate you? I would never make you do that, Sonny—”

But he was already walking out the door. He felt empty inside. He had already lost his love, and now this betrayal from someone he had once called his best friend was more than he could handle. All that he’d done for Amanda was still somehow not enough. He needed to start thinking about himself. He wasn’t sure of what his future would look like, whether you would be in it or not. Bella was right.

He’d have to hope for brighter days ahead.

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