#this probably belongs into the category dont think about it to much because nobody at marvel was thinking about it that much...

[purple--queen]

Something that still pisses me off is this whole Sword having Visions body. Did Hayward just showed up at the Avengers HQ & was like "Sooo this Vibranium belongs to the goverment & since this is also a...uh...weapon it should come with me :)"

& was Steve & the rest was just like "sure. He is dead now & the only person that cared about him is also...dead"

[july-19th-club]

how did you first get into tarot? do you have any advice for someone who wants to learn?

i got into it in college when i was doing a bit of exploring around in terms of what i guess you’d call ‘witchy stuff’ - i’m not super involved in it much at all because like all hobbies there’s lots to dive into and i’ve always been just enough of a skeptic that im never sure if what im doing is working or not (also because as a community at least online, the modern witch zone has some problems with racism and TERF-adjacent ‘woman power’ shit and i am not about a) appropriating cultures i’m not a part of’s magical or spiritual traditions or b) associating with gender essentialists not least bc i dont ahve an essential gender). ALL THAT just to say when i was in college i thought tarot reading might be fun and i bought a cool pack with some artwork i liked, and then was gifted some other decks by friends etc. there are lots of beautiful (very expensive) decks out there - some of the fancy ones can run you like $50-60 easy - but you can get a basic rider-waite deck online for like 20 bucks.

the main thing to keep in mind about tarot is that whether or not you have much of a belief in that certain whatever-you-want-to-call-it (magic? the paranormal? words like that always feel WAY too dramatic to me an ex-catholic wary of anything that smacks of hardcore spirituality way) - your tarot deck is just cards, and it’s essentially an intuition tool. whatever you wind up reading is gonna mostly come from you - your interpretation of the cards, your interpretation of the questions you ask. and sometimes you’ll surprise yourself with the insight you glean off of that and you’ll get that cool uncanny ‘i’m onto something here’ feeling and sometimes you’ll just read a spread distractedly and get nothing out of it and just feel like you’ve wasted your time. either way, it can be a great way to sort out your own thoughts, which is mostly what i use mine for. i guess you could call it mindfulness in a way. when i draw a card and know that it either clarifies my thoughts or doesn’t make any sense for what i’m feeling, both of those answers can be helpful ways to narrow down complicated thought processes. if i’m feeling confident about a decision and i draw “The Chariot” for example, that doesn’t necessarily mean that some outside force is agreeing with me that i should do whatever im about to do. probably nobody else is giving me advice from beyond or influencing the cards i draw. but it does maybe mean that i’m not just tricking myself into feeling confident; it might mean that subconsciously (or consciously) i know i’m on top of whatever i was asking about. for someone with a degree of imposter syndrome, that can really help.

this is turning into a bit of a dissertation and you said you wanted tips, so bear with me :) my main tip is to buy a cheap deck (you can always buy a pretty one later) and to spend time with it. lots of people say that, but it’s like learning any new skill or subject - you’ll be more familiar with it and it’ll be more intuitive if you practice. the deck should come with a little book that tells you the commonly agreed-upon meanings of each card and what suit it belongs to (major arcana are for big themes and questions, minor - suits are wands, cups, coins or pentacles, and swords - are for more everyday garden-variety stuff). the book should also have some spread ideas in the back - by which i mean ways in which to lay out the cards and designate questions to each of them.

a simple spread, for example, might look like this: three cards in a row, which you designate past, present, and future. you could consider the spread broadly - the past encompassing a long time, present encompassing every aspect of your current life, future encompassing everything - or you could do it minutely; this morning (past) right now, and tonight (future). another thing everyone always says is not to be afraid to build your own spreads. if you feel like they’re not working or you’re not putting together any clear insight, you can always adjust them or go back to the ones in the book (if you find those work for you) or look some up online.

few other things i’ve noticed help you to achieve “clearer” results from a reading:

yes or no questions or extremely big, broad categories are troublesome. “how,” “what,” and “why” questions, or questions that allow for open-ended answers, are more likely to help you form a conclusion that makes sense

basically, you know how lawyers ask leading questions? this is NOT like that. if you do a spread full of leading questions, you’re just leading yourself in a circle

i’ve noticed that if i read for the same question over and over again all at once, the cards i flip get more and more nonsensical. either the deck’s getting tired of my bullshit, or i’m losing the ability to coherently interpret what’s in front of me - either way, i think past a certain point there’s no reason to beat a dead horse

^ the above leads me to a tangent which i SWEAR is related, tangent being i just said all that stuff about there not being any outside force directing your readings. still think that’s probably true unless you do spirit work about it on purpose, which i know nothing about and probably never will - but one of my few ‘i’m pretty sure i believe this’ beliefs is a bit of mild animism; the idea that objects as well as creatures have something akin to a soul or a personality. im not sure how distinct or clear or ‘real-in-the-way-that-you-and-i-who-are-living-human-beings-are-real’ those *souls* are, but the few hard and fast i-can’t-explain-it experiences i’ve had have been to do with places that felt like they Had Emotions and objects that felt like they Had Intent. and if you do subscribe to the line of reasoning that everything has a beating heart of *being-ness*, then things you spend lots of time with and interact with will probably come to some kind of understanding with you and/or you will influence each other a bit.

SO when the deck seems to be throwing unrelated cards at me after i start reading for the same thing over and over, or when reading for an anxious topic nets me reassuring cards, or when i truly do start a reading baffled and finish it clarified, the part of my mind that is a little less skeptical imagines that the deck and i, having spent some time together, are capable of maybe, just possibly, reading each other. and that magic is potentially, POTENTIALLY, in a barely tangible way, happening.

last thing: also everyone says this, but it bears repeating: don’t be intimidated by Death; it’s a card of transition really. and don’t let scary readings make you feel intimidated or scared or depressed. your readings are a reflection of your own emotional states and thought processes, and like smart seers in stories like to remind characters all the time, what you see is just one possibility and you have the power to change it if you don’t like what it shows.

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / OCTOBER 5, 2019 // return of josh

oooookay folks! that's a wrap! below are my comments about tonight's ep + additional expansions on previously stated opinions. i'm not combining s2 ep 1 with this bc s2 is dead to me! so is s3! i only did this to gather up all these loose thoughts i had when this show with its one lonely season became such a comfort to me that i developed a second consciousness about it. but with these posts i am done! the evil is defeated! i will carry on through the 3rd and hopefully final season of nancy drew with less emotion and better spirits. thank god.

-"talk to owen" nancy firstly thinks of talking to owen only to see what happens w the agleaca; saying goodbye comes as sorta an afterthought mirroring tiffany's possession of george. yet nancy was unable to say goodbe to owen just like w kate. knowing this reveal about kate, i wonder if this was foreshadowing that something big will be revealed about him later? unlikely but still

-nancy + the reality of broken things: 'totems' like broken sand glass sculpture (good place) to show you it's not a dream; "owen broke that" ghost trap to ground him to reality, like how she reached for her locket in the good place, lucy's charm, ace's bear ('totems' idea borrowed from inception)

-george has never been an affectionate person, even with other women- so why does pda with nick suddenly become so important?

-lots of comments about ryan + women but what about carson/kate and karen? again with the hypocritical (interestingly, there is an aspect of violence to women connected with ryan (even though that violence is not his fault); but its not like kate or karen fared well either)

-ryan feels useless- relationships with women as stated by nancy- he seeks to redeem himself by showing up where nancy goes to prove he is good to have around/necessary/needed - but now that he is attempting to act as a parent he has to break through nancy's defenses all over again- firstly she didnt really consider him any kind of threat bc he comes off as incompetent- ie bad business deals- i think i mentioned last ep, their hauntings equalize them as they both attempt to gain peace by searching for answers but now ryan has changed the terms of engagement so he's back to square one, with carson. (which is how we find them s2 cowering in ryans car stalking nancy together)

-ryan's relationship to nancy exposes an interesting layer here. so far she doesnt know about nick/george but they still hold the cards (ie george gets one over on nick's ex/"the new girl") with the revelation of ryan being nancys father, nancy gains an interesting trump card in navigating the social fallout of being nick's ex. like george would take the new spot but then nancy comes out with george's ex in a much higher category. this plays out later on in the ep when george confronts ryan. george wants to talk about "them" but ryan shows up completely focused on nancy, thus illustrating the trump

-"i thought it was whitney with another insipid question" to me this sounds like whitney took bess's advice earlier about "asking aunt diana what she wants" (only to learn it actually annoyed the hell out of diana lmaoo)

-"then you need to fight for it" this hearkens nancy earlier by asking "arent you in by virtue of dna?" the test was positive; she is a marvin just like nancy is a hudson. thats not a fact that they can change. however, diana really acts like it can be changed- and in s2 we see it does change. its interesting for bess to be told to fight to be in a family she's already in and also foiled by nancy trying to fight her way out of her own family. would like to see bess stand up to diana and say something. i mean, she exists. as much as she may want to erase bess from the family, diana cannot erase her existence

-hannah's rolled up sleeves 💙

-"previous keepers records" -from s2- were those not her parents??

-mistaken murderers- everyone incorrectly assumes lucy was murdered just as they assume the agleaca killed owen

-even if owen weren't the price, how can they pay the toll without one of the people who called? i mean if it was anything other than owen and he still died they still wouldve been fucked

-"you don't need to check, i'm not even driving!" okay and giving up the goss. cassidy is me. lmfaoooo

-wonder if this locked marvin industries box will ever come back

-UNPOPULAR OPINION: george's confrontation with ryan comes waytoo late to do anything. i think i brought this up in an earlier post. its literally just her screaming at him now. like he is clocked out moved on. you know a good time for this scene? in the claw when he comes by to "check on her". hes vulnerable, fresh from rehab. and she has a chit over him for punching bookcases/the fuckin country club deal. therewould have been a perfect time to confront ryan on what happened- "what you did to me" okay sis. you admitted ep 1 you werent in hs anymore. youre of age now. admit you fucked up. take the L to force him to swallow the bigger L. and imagine how much more powerful the scene would have been- in george's domain, literally her own office, something ryan doesnt even have because HE DOESNT DO SHIT. ryan is SO EASY to trap but nobody notices. instead they have george try to get some kind of apology out of him when hes already done with that, and only for the sake of her establishing a new relaionship to boot. imagine how much more empowered she would feel if she just got that closure for herself- because she needed it, not so she could trot straight back to nick being all proud of calling a grown man to some random estate only to scream at him in a parking lot and have accomplished nothing. 🤦🏼‍♀️

-i get patrice thinking nancy is lucy but yeahhhhh this isnt how dementia works 😬

-i almost cant with nance and josh. how do you save your would-be murderer? (+ lucy's best friend and brother are in jail, her mom is lost to her mentally; all she has left is nancy and ryan)

-tbh i had no idea how to spell agleaca until bess said "theres no i in agleaca!" i thought it was igleaka like 😂

-damn how george just stares at nicks hand and then gets out herself is just so sad (like she immediately rectifies it but still...)

-"curiosity" part II; nancy who comes back to the sea after her mother died in it- agleaca drawn to lucy's trauma/to agleaca, lucy died fir "love"- would nancy be willing to risk the same? // this is also one of nancy's "mirroring mom" moments: winning sea queen, going to the velvet masque, getting caught by celia, having a "chat" with everett, and "falling" off the bluffs

-the collector 🎵👌🏻

-i wonder if there's any significance to the locations/means of their deaths; nancy's is pretty straight forward in terms of where and how, but why george and nick drowning, in the truck specifically? drowning in love? idk. ace's at the claw i get, but he gets himself caught? in what precisely? what does the fish hook mean? and bess's makes the least sense- burning alive? in the marvin estate? maybe the agleaca picked the most painful death for the marvin blood relation? idk. up for debate lmk ya thoughts

and lastly:

-i remember seeing this ending for the first time and i had just been traumatized by avengers endgame and since black widow is also a redhead seeing that shit at the bottom of the cliff it was like 😰😰😰 TOO SOON

-random thoughts-

these are just things i noticed, feel free to grapple with them or take note of them for extrapolation in s3 (lord knows i wont be) they probably belonged in recaps for previous eps but i either didnt find them in my notebook or couldnt fit them in

•nancy and truth/the perception of truth: using facts to suit theories instead of creating theories to suit facts- nancy often plays with the perception of truth and the details that fall between the steps; but she is also a victim to them by people who also know how to play the game (ie Carson) ex lying about the dress (tea cups and knives, trash got picked up, bail paid 1 hr ago) her inferences can be off from what others tell her ("people always lie") but she can also come to the wrong conclusions organically (carsons trial) more willing to believe the best in others/wanting them to be innocent (think nick ep 1) but later finding out the truths hurts more so she chooses to isolate herself and avoid involving others to be spared pain

•maybe i'm dumb, but who is "mr marvin" exactly? owen? the bald guy from the funeral? this comes from the guy who takes sailboats out like ep 4ish and says "ive worked for the marvins 20 years" she compliments the ship, he says "mr marvin and i just took her out this morning" so?? who is that? plus last ep just saying cassidy and isaac are her "late husbands children" dows thet mean sebastian? like did diana marry in? i feel like it would be odd for her to so embrace the "marvin way" if she wasnt a true born marvin

•ik college becomes a more s2 topic but none of the crew have ever been to college 🤔

•nick + the relationships with people whose reputations are tarnished: tiffany with investigating the hudsons/marvins, josh with murder/attempted murder, kate and 'stealing'/lying about nancy (esp compared to her almost preternatural kindness i mentioned before), george and her mom/family's reputations --> this kind of segues into nick + the concept of believing people you love could be capable of horrific things- accidental or on purpose (see- having to tell his family what happened)

•at the beginning, nancy kind of seems to be the "i'm sorry you're upset" kind of apologist and knows it. she also doesnt usually apologize earnestly bc shes never really sorry (she always has to get what she needs first ie coins mess) and she doesnt want to lie; to me it seems she doesnt like to bother with other people bc they require certain cues/niceties that are often lies- they ask "how are you" without meaning it, they dont really want an honest response except "fine", they dont like it when you call them out on fakeness, etc/ they require apologies for their bruised feelings even if youre right (and nancy can be pretty rude/nasty if provoked- a harshness unsoftened by sympathy)

•cont'd from the good place ep- since kate apparently means nothing to nancy anymore according to last ep ("stop calling her my mother") is her policy of "always seek the truth" now null and void? this mantra is now tainted bc the person who gave it to her broke it so much. can nancy disengage w it now? does she fall from grace to be complicit in "mysteries" of her own like everyone else? does she lose some of her "god-like" holier than thou act bc she is now literally born and raised in the "darkness" of sins/ugly truths like everyone else's? (ie truth is ugly but not to nancy, until now)

•did lucy disappear because her "murder" was finally solved? or simply because her trauma was addressed- she never meant to tell anyone about her suicide plans, the twisted trauma of which was too great to contain/unable to move on due to "sin" - or unable to move on because secret of nancy's parentage still remained? "lucy never wanted me to figure out how she died" she only wanted nancy to figure out her parentage without solving the mystery, yet did lucy see/witness nancy's revelation at the claw, or with carson, or even ryan? waiting for karen/josh to know? or just vanished?

•concept of imperfect mom figures- lucy, kate, celia, victoria, even karen- who all struggle with failings

•since karen dispelled one of lucy's attempts at nancy's haunting at the garden party, is that proof she isn't haunting karen?

•the crew + needing adult help: george's possession and victoria, club busted and owen, car accident and mcginnis, thom and cipher, larkspur lane and sal, bones and john, agleaca and hannah

•everett is always sitting- at his home office, at dinner, at yacht club (wonder if that was his actor + had to do with his recasting?)

-dad talk-

•both her dads think negatively on her "girl detective" thing but ryan sees use in it as a means to get answers, carson would never 'use' her in that way

•nancy + carson : suffering

"what about what i wanted?" + carson being imprisoned for weeks but she immediately rejects him (the DAY he gets his freedom no less) with no regard to his suffering (caused by herdiary!!) in regards to her own from this new knowledge (she does suffer a lot- "almost dying is my new normal" but still)/ the "thankless job" of parenting

•nancy + adults - connected to cop thing a few posts earlier : nancy is v precocious and smart for her age- she is "old enough" but also has trouble with the "adults" in her life- fathers, moms, karen, and cops letting her down but depends heavily on "adults" she cantrust- hannah gruen, john sander, lisbeth- highlighting her youth and occasional naiveté; nancy is unafraid to hold adults accountable for their actions (ie karen) but also loses them as allies along the way. both hannah and john are very nonthreatening and also experts in their fields, while her fathers and karen are revealed to be "just another brick in the wall" average, capable of mistakes, and not the people she expects them to be, while characters like john and hannah can only benefit nancy because either they do not mean as much to her or have no reason/nothing to gain by lying; they are purposefully shown to be small, demure, gentle, and nonthreatening as foils/opposed to karen, ryan, and josh whom she previously trusted; carson (+kate) is nonviolent as well but has the biggest betrayal which is perceived as an act of violence to her very personhood/shattering who she thought she was so she cannot be that anymore (admits truths to john "everytime i dig i hurt everyone" and hannah-agleaca) : unclear if redemption is possible for anyone :

•nancy bonds with carson over loss and then ryan over haunting. but actually, nancy rejects carson over loss bc she wanted to say goodbye and wasnt allowed to- so carson was with kate but nancy was not. nancy and ryan are more equals about haunting bc they both start around the same time and conclude together as well [nancy and ryan bond over thinking their parents conspired to kill lucy- think sitting on the floor at velvet masque] nancy is appreciated by ryan for her ability to get answers- he has no qualms about going through her/outside of police bc he wants results/instant gratification and thinks nancy is more so the expert in her field/respects her even through her age- once again acknowledging she is braver than he is (think lucy + claw parking lot) and her portent in the car freaks him out bc shes usually always in control, esp with him

•bc nancy was told "you can't be afraid of the truth" until she was / ironic bc shes braver than him except when the truth is they are related then she's scared to tell him while he actually starts to take some initiative

•nancy picked "the wrong person" to help her through her grief in her dad's eyes like her mom's best friend was somehow a better choice? carson truly "parents" nancy even during grief and haunting (which she rejects) whereas nancy and ryan are really equals in all their situations which is actually better for her and easier for her to maintain- nancy's expectations are low so anything that ryan gives is a bonus. nancy's expectations of carson were shattered by his lies so now she has nothing to connect with him about- they could barely even connect when sharing the same grief- carson actually very hypocritical hence nancy's upset at karen revelation yet carson doesn't agree bc hes the "adult" and shes the "child" not realizing she hadnt been one for a long time (hidden staircase perhaps?) whereas ryan better treats her with lack of controlling parental nature bc he is impressed with her competence before he receives that knowledge; "lucy was smarter than me too" acknowledging her intellect negates his ability to "parent" ie control her to leave him solely with caring about her wellbeing in her situations + aftermath - i honestly dont think carson would ever admit that shes smarter than him* bc he thinks shes not "all grown up" yet ("youve kept me on the bench for years"); ryan is more willing to meet her where she's at which is so important for all her good relationships - ace, owen, etc

*carson asks for nancy to figure out "who to trust" in ep 12, finally admitting that she is useful/ie acknowledging that her skills/abilities do help, are necessary, and can in fact save lives --> this is then s2 follow up by working for him (but it takes him that long)

•ryan/nancy/carson venn diagram - using sex to escape trauma

•if not carson vs ryan then what about celia and everett vs patrice (and josh)? at this point in the narrative, do you think ryan's parents would take his side should the knowledge become public (without their involvement), or deny nancy?

•"we were a family" + the disruption of family dinner- kate was really the one holding that family together and her death makes it unsustainable

okay!! that's all folks! i have exhausted my plethora of nancy drew thoughts + knowledge. you will never have to hear from me again!! TYSSM 😘

[asmakahf]

Second Wife, Prostitute or Porn Star!

Why Islam Allows second wife?

The reasons are many but one is a man marrying a lonely woman, who has nobody to take care of her.

This is done out of free will of both, yet people are against this, these are the very "people" who support every immoral act because its an individual's choice and freedom.

Shockingly no media informs you when 100 of 1000s of Rich ,independent, educated and beautiful women from western/European nations marry arabs and are happy to be thier 2nd or 3rd or even 4th wife!

This media that bashes 2nd marriage glamourises concepts like sugar daddy with taglines like -- these young women are independent, doing it out of free will and its a mutually decided agreement between the two,

Who are we to judge!

And women involved in dirty jobs that ONLY use her body Say -- if we had enough money to support ourselves we would never choose this "job".

Classically there was a saying if you want to judge a ruler/govt, see if women of his kingdom have to sell themselves for livelihood.

To call it job is injustice to people who do it because they dont have choice .

Pole dancing, adult movies, modelling, prostitution -these things are NOTHING BUT MAKING A HUMAN BODY INTO A LIFELESS OBJECT MEANT TO BE USED and THROWN WHEN OUT OF SHAPE/FORM.

It needs you to do such and such things...

Situation is so disgusting that highly educated women were lining up when theres an audition for porn online streaming service!

More shockingly people who are hiring have reject a lot women because they already have too many at thier dispense!

In islam when,The Moment a man marries a woman(second wife) Her status becomes Equal to his First wife, she is not a mistress (mistress who is hidden from public life of the man who she is in relationship with) Second wife in Islam is as much a responsibility and honour of a man as his first wife.

So a woman who was lonely probably not respected, left on her own to do small jobs or be sulking for love and attention, ignored by male members of her society and women looking down on her insecure that she can sleep with any man because she has no husband in her life. We have all seen this ,heard this and know it happens.

Such a woman gets instant Equal respect and position like a first wife.

Heard a young man say this is how you define status of a woman, cant she earn on her own!

This is the mindset that opposes woman being second wife, where she belongs to one man, and this mindset encourages and demands respect for prostitution/ porn industry where woman is a worst than an object, have to tolerate every dirty thing and becomes a sort of garbage bin where people throw their filth and relieve themselves.

By this logic woman can and should make their bodies into dumping ground and be available for being judged for money she can call her own but she is doing the backward thing if she chooses to stick to one man who is married and marries her to give equal rights and who provides for her with respect.

Having multiple women by a man's side is proof of his success, women who keeps changing and changing, new flavour for every week.

And if a man marrries second time, you think its a joke or easy for him to call another woman as his wife?

You think its lust that he marries women legally, gives her right over him for life?

To call a woman a second wife officially is a brave thing.

Dont assassinate character of men who have 3 or 4 wives and lots of children. They have taken up the responsibility unlike those men who love short flings and want to run away from women he spend even 1 night!

In any era a rich man has no dearth of women ready to be his mistresses.

For sure, some categories of women will never understand this.

One who is happily marrried, other who is young women who haven't seen the uglier side of life yet and fake feminists who think idea of independent woman is one who earns by any means, is ready to go nude and thrash men at the drop of a hat.

If this world really cared about WOMEN,

If this world really knew what Feminism should be about they WOULD HAVE WORKED TO ELIMINATE HER OBJECTIFICATION, PROSTITUTION AND PORN.

Instead they are busy in stripping women,

Want her to earn by hook or by crook and

Spread propaganda against religions which have solution to female problems.

Whoever started this idea of feminism was one big fool and enemy of womanhood.

Women who were victims of some men's chauvinism or different crimes needed remedy to target just that.

Women DID NOT NEED THAT BEING VICTIMS THEY WILL BE ASKED TO TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES IRRESPECTIVE OF CIRCUMSTANCES.

They dint need that they will be transformed into wanna be males.

They dint need thier ability of giving birth is made into a burden,

They dint need that they are called out to be strong, fight and come out and run race with men.

They needed that men respect her,

They needed that no man leaves her after using her as a woman or as a wife.

They needed that men provide for her children.

They needed that husbands participate and help her in bringing up children.

They needed thier husband or after his death there is a system that helps her to take care of her and her children.

She needed strict laws to curb rape and molestation.

Not one of the above is focus of modern world.

All they want is

Women earn, be a single mother and earn,

Be unhealthy, be weak but you have to earn,

be elderly, have period issues, doesn't matter you have to earn.

They use women to target Islam and HIDE what status Islam gives to a daughter, wife, mother, sister.

That's because islam is a religion where women is Queen of the house, a husband takes care of her its Duty on him. He is supposed to be gentle with her, treat her well and be kind to her.

Dont say you dont need it,

Why is it some women envy while they look at another woman and say that's one lucky woman who doesn't need to work, her husband is soo sweet he takes care of her and doesn't force her to work!

We don't need to change victim, we need to change the system that is apathetic towards victims.

You are doing injustice when you work on or discuss what can be done to the victim and ignore the crime or criminal.

In any situation, when people start discussing, debating about victims they do not intend to give them justice. For example Palestinians.

People discuss them, thier culture, thier photographs, history and what not.

But nobody ever talks about their suffering,

How many times did u hear or read The fact that they are not fighting for freedom,they are struggling to breath.

[laundryandtaxes]

hey julia. i hope this makes sense but its hard to put into words. i’m thinking lately that i might be more into women than i am men. most other women i relate to are gnc. but i dont feel i quite belong in butch spaces either… i think gender is inherently oppressive so, even tho i realize i have no control over how i am legible to *others*, i am very much struggling with where the value lays in *self* identifying with womanhood (or any gender for that matter). help? a lost gnc baby

I don't think there is any massive value in "identifying" as a woman again in and of itself. For most of us, disidentifying came from a place of understanding ourselves as too weird at being women to really be them, from a "not like other girls/women" idea that being feminine was the only way to be a woman, from trying to run from our bodies or hide them or change them or pretend they don't exist or aren't really ours. And for lots of us it stems from the silly idea that gender identity is the primary means of interacting with gender for most people- I don't think most people have or even really understand a gender identity, but that doesn't mean they don't have categorical placements under patriarchy. Not identifying as female didn't make me not categorically a woman just because I wanted it to. I was still getting treated like a woman daily, still categorically marginalized, etc. "If you don't understand gender identity then you don't have a gender," "If you're questioning your gender (in a culture where not being feminine makes people treat you like you're a man) then you're not cis," and "cis means having an uncomplicated and beneficial relationship to gender" are all harmful ideas stemming from popular liberal gender theory right now that push gnc women in the direction of disidentifying. I want to be super clear here and say that's not the politics of "transexualism" or the "trans agenda" or whatever and that popular liberal gender politics in LGBT communities are just one form of many kinds of bad liberal gender theory. The problem there is liberalism and the removal of material context, not trans people just existing. But these politics have real effects on people's lives and push people to ignore the physicality of moving through the world as a woman in favor of identity politics, which doesn't just matter when trying to discuss menstrual stigma as the women's issue that it is but also matters when trying to discuss the prominence of violence against black trans women or the trouble trans people will generally have finding basic employment, etc. Getting away from experiences and moving toward identities has hurt a lot of people, especially a lot of women. So that's your backdrop. I get that it's uncomfortable for a lot of people to hear, but yes, sex is the only connection a whole lot of women really have to womanhood itself when you're talking about womanhood as a socioeconomic category under patriarchy. How my body exists and is read is not separable from my experience of patriarchy, and comprises the majority (though not all) of that relationship. The reason I bring it up is that, for many of us, disidentifying was one way or trying to sort of get out of the box we had been stuck in and primed for since birth. When good womanhood means being heterosexual, not being gnc, being quiet and taking up no physical space, and the people around you make no attempt to problematize those messages, it can really make a lot of gnc women straight up feel like they're going crazy. So the power of reidentification isn't really about identifying at all. Like a number of women I know who've detransitioned are still in this place where they are living /as/ men, being read as male 90% of the time, hell during winter I'm read as male probably more often than not, and a number of women I know are also really only partly reidentified and still consider themselves nonbinary or something rather than "women" per se. But reidentification for us is about not denying what it means to live these kinds of women's lives, not running from our bodies or being dissociated from them, and most importantly not seeing ourselves as fundamentally separate from other women, and seeing ourselves as living the kinds of lives women can live. That can mean different things to different people but the idea is, choosing to understand ourselves as different from other women but not bad at being women or necessarily something else, just one particular kind of woman. That's what it means and has meant to me anyway. I don't have some gender identity in a sense I don't really understand. I have a body and I hsve the way it is parsed in the world and how it moves and I'm not running from that anymore. For me that means I've almost completely stopped binding, I use she/her exclusively again, I call myself a woman, but it can look different for different people. It's a sort of homecoming. It is an experience almost nobody understands who hasn't gone through it or talked to a lot of women who have. Sorry this was so long but I hope it has given you an understanding of what I mean when I talk about reidentifying, and what I mean when I talk about the power and comfort and healing that means to reidentified women like myself. As for your sexuality stuff, I'm not sure what you are asking there- if you're questioning whether you might be gay I think it certainly makes sense to try talking to some butches and being in spaces for butches (and I do consider butch exclusively a lesbian term) but if not you could always try to find some sort of community with other gender nonconforming women broadly. Make a Facebook page. Have group meetings at a local library. Make a Tumblr for gnc or reidentifying women and reach out. But you can definitely build the kind of space you want, it's just hard. Much love your way no matter what, and thanks for reaching out to talk!

[warmdevs]

New Post has been published on https://warmdevs.com/needy-design-patterns-please-dont-go-popups-get-back-to-me-tabs.html

Needy Design Patterns: Please-Don’t-Go Popups & Get-Back-to-Me Tabs

In UX design, “dark patterns” are deceptive strategies used by designers to trick users into doing potentially harmful things that support their organization’s goals. For example, sites that automatically add extra items into users’ shopping carts are using a dark pattern to increase their sales.

The two design patterns discussed in this article fall into a similar (if slightly less immoral) category, which we call “needy patterns.” These are design patterns aimed at grabbing users’ attention. They’re driven by goals like increasing email-newsletter signups or page views, but they slow users down or degrade their overall experience.

There are many patterns that could fall into this needy category. In this article we focus on two needy patterns that have recently become popular and that interfere with browser-tab usage.

There are two primary types of behavior involving the use of multiple browser tabs:

Parallel browsing, where a user alternates between tasks, generally using one tab per task

Page parking, where a user opens multiple pages into different tabs in support of one large task (such as comparing items to buy, or researching a topic)

Millennials in particular tend to rely on page parking as an information-seeking strategy. The two needy patterns we discuss here hurt people who use multiple tabs, whether for parallel browsing or page parking. We’ve named these needy patterns:

The please-don’t-go popup

The get-back-to-me browser tab

The Please-Don’t-Go Popup

This pattern is sometimes known as an “exit-intent popup,” an “exit popup,” or an “exit modal” (in an attempt to disassociate this pattern with the reviled word “popup,» which is tainted by being the #1 most-hated advertising technique). These popups lurk unseen until the user starts to move the mouse towards the top of the page. Panicking that the user is about to bounce, the exit popup triggers a desperate, final attempt to keep the user’s interest. These popups often contain content such as, “Before you go…!” or “Don’t miss…!” Sometimes they offer discounts, advertise an email newsletter, or suggest related content.

An exit popup from TNW News pushes the organization’s email newsletter.

The exact functionality of each exit popup differs. Sometimes the popup will appear as soon as the user starts moving towards the top of the page; in other cases, it will show up after a specific amount of time (5 seconds, 10 seconds, etc.). Sometimes the popup is combined with animation — for example, creating a shaking effect. Sometimes it works alongside cookies, so a user who sees an exit popup and stays on the site won’t see it again.

This exit popup on wpbeginner.com uses a shake animation, which has the effect of making a popup even more annoying.

The goal is to catch users before they abandon the site, to show them something they may have missed, or to provide one final appeal to capture their attention. And, according to the logic of exit popups, who cares if this appeal doesn’t work and users are annoyed? There’s nothing to lose, because they’re leaving anyway, right?

Wrong. When users engage in page parking, they systematically move between opened tabs, saving their place to return later. The code behind exit popups doesn’t know if a user is moving the mouse to:

close the tab,

temporarily move to another tab, or

open a new tab.

The exit popup can’t tell the difference. Imagine that a user is engaging in page parking to help her research a topic. She starts with a Google query, and then opens up several results into new tabs rapidly. The user begins moving through each tab, closing some that are irrelevant, but saving some to return to them later. Then, in the middle of this process, an exit popup suddenly appears, pressuring her to check out some different content or sign up for an email newsletter. The user thinks, “Wow, calm down! I was going to come back in two minutes!”

This exit popup on lifehack.org assumes users are leaving because they’re finished with the current piece of content, and makes a last-minute attempt to show related topics. Unfortunately, the popup is irritating if the user hasn’t finished reading the current piece of content.

Except when it’s in their best interest (preventing someone from closing a file without saving it, for example), we never recommend intentionally interrupting or annoying users.

The Get-Back-to-Me Browser Tab

This next pattern has nothing to do with what happens while you’re on the website, but instead it’s related to what happens when you’ve left. When a user navigates away from a website by visiting another browser tab, the site swaps the original page title with an attention-seeking message.

In this example, the Chrome browser has 7 open tabs. The last three tabs have replaced the tab title with a needy message.

Blog.invisionapp.com replaces the name of the blog post with a reminder to return to the tab. In this example, part of this reminder is cut off due the number of browser tabs open. (When users have many tabs open at once, page titles are often cut off.)

The website’s primary goal is to cleverly hijack users’ attention and bring them back to the site. Maybe there were some good intentions driving this design decision: perhaps the site truly hopes to be helpful and remind users to view the content on that page. However, this reminder isn’t helpful at all; in fact, it is problematic for two major reasons:

the loss of context caused by an unhelpful title, and

the likelihood that whatever effectiveness the tactic once held will be eroded as more sites adopt it

Loss of Context

Without the true page title, people are left with no clues for the content of the tab. Users often keep frequently visited pages such as Facebook or news websites open throughout the day in order to revisit them and check for updates. Users who are shopping or conducting research may be parked on many pages at once, using browser tabs to collect and manage product options and information

Page titles should begin with information-carrying words to give users context and help them differentiate among tabs. In addition, websites should utilize a well-designed favicon (the small 16×16 pixel icon used in tabs) to help users identify which tabs belong to which site.

In the previous example, Invisionapp would be better off keeping the title of the blog post on the tab at all times. For users conducting research on a particular topic, this tab may be one of many that they intend to read over time. The best reminder to return to the tab is the actual page title, which has meaning to the user and probably some appeal to them in the context of the current task (or the user wouldn’t have opened that page in the first place). With no context, it’s likely that users scanning their parked tabs will not recognize the unrelated title and dismiss the page altogether.

Ineffective when Commonly Used

Some designers might argue that this technique will delight users by catching their attention with something unique and unexpected. That delight (if it ever existed in the first place) will no doubt turn to frustration quickly if this pattern becomes widely used across the web. Page parking and parallel browsing will become quite difficult if your browser tabs resemble a bunch of journalists fighting for attention at a press conference.

Too many other sites already replicate the problematic get-back-to-me pattern.

When multiple browser tabs employ this technique, users have no indication of which tab contains what content. They will be forced to bounce in and out of each page to remember what the tab contains. And if these websites are really needy, these users may also be dealing with please-don’t-go popups slowing them down along the way.

Twitter prepends the page title with a numeric indicator to let users know how much additional content has been added to their feed since it was last checked. This tab-title update effectively reminds the user to return without removing the context of the page.

Think of your page tab as one of many nodes in a distinct and dynamic global navigation created by the user to meet their unique needs. Your page title serves as a label in this navigation and should provide the appropriate context and information scent, so that users can assess the content of the page.

Conclusion

Every website has a personality. The visual design, the interaction design, the copy, and tone of voice all contribute to how your users perceive your site and your brand. Needy patterns like the please-don’t-go popover and the get-back-to-me tab chip away at the presentation of a professional, confident website. They also damage users’ perceptions of credibility.

As a thought experiment, ask your brand manager whether “we’re desperate for attention” is one of the company’s stated brand values. If not, why signal such desperation to customers?

These kinds of tactics are often embraced and accepted based on better conversion performance in A/B tests. However, there’s a big tradeoff that comes with being needy and annoying — the degradation of your relationship with your users.

Prioritizing conversions or short-term metrics leads designers to pressure people into doing things they don’t actually want to do and can easily cross the ethical boundaries towards dark patterns. It’s time to reassess priorities and long-term goals: you may be getting a few extra clicks now, but in the long run you’re losing your users’ trust and respect. Nobody likes a needy website.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

my highlights list of Owl City songs

maybe you’ve only heard like “fireflies” and you dont have shit taste and aren’t a coward and so you’ve always hoped i’d make a list of imo extra standout owl city songs; maybe i just wanted to make something like this list even though i didnt try that hard to cut it down and it would change every day and i dont think i dislike any of his songs and could give reasons why i especially like some element of pretty much each of them

Assuming Everyone’s Also Heard: VANILLA TWILIGHT (Ocean Eyes), GOOD TIME (The Midsummer Station) they’re both amazing. vanilla twilight is intense and good for when you’re looking at a nice sunset and feeling brave. shaq is in the music video. that carly rae jepsen and adam young happened to team up was a great move by whoever initiated it, and good time is iconic, and there’s a version where carly rae jepsen is also singing the chorus and its better but i dont really know how to search for it in particular because its otherwise identical

***HELLO SEATTLE*** (Ocean Eyes) this was on the radio too so it couldve gone in the above section but it needs its own. im not sure i’d say this is officially my favorite owl city song but if someone hadnt heard anything by owl city this is the one i’d choose to represent his entire vibe and be the first impression. and you’d think nobody could possibly remix it but adam young himself did and its fantastic and relatable even though the only lyrics are the occasional words “hello seattle.” technically the first version of this song is on the album “of june” and theyre both good but i like the ocean eyes version best

DESIGNER SKYLINE (Of June) the most upbeat song on the album probably. adam young is very very good at lyrics and some elements of this include his imagery, rhythm, alliteration, wordplay, and general ability to make the words in a song both euphonic in the sound along but also be very Pretty content wise. ok im most serious about how good he is with lyrics so maybe i’ll be more concise after this one

FUZZY BLUE LIGHTS (Of June) owl city songs aren’t depressing or even really Sad even when they’re sad (w/ some exceptions…cough silhouette) but they’re good if you are / have been a Sad Person Who Lives In Their Head because thats what a lot of the songs are about / the perspective theyre from. this one sounds like that and also like an overcast day

***IF MY HEART WAS A HOUSE*** (Ocean Eyes) the Best love song of the whole discography imo. it goes hard as fuck. i don’t date but for the duration of this song i have a gf/bf/nb-f

THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG (Ocean Eyes) one of the best and another one of the best love songs. im especially partial to the winter theme now o course. this super cool thing happens in the middle with amazing lyrics and this volume effect. the instrumental versions of this and if my heart was a house are also killer

ANGELS (All Things Bright And Beautiful) adam young loves jesus a whole lot; this song is about literal christian angels. i love the alliteration of the lines “in the dust on the cellar staircase / a pair of footprints followed me / i saw a flicker in the fake fireplace”. not many owl city songs are from both an upbeat perspective AND have upbeat music, and this one’s chorus really goes for it. adam y.’s pretty excited about jesus stuff i think and so when he channels that in songs especially about jesus, it’s pretty energetic. but for the most part his songs arent overtly christian save maybe some passing references, so if thats a concern dont worry

***GALAXIES*** (ATBAB) for example, this one definitely has a jesus line. but this is just one of the references to an unspecified “he” which means it could also just be interpreted as gay. (owl city belongs to the gays btw) and this really is a song to go ham to and listen to it with stereo speakers because one of my fave parts relies on that. the intro is a bit jarring because the outro of “january 28, 1986” is meant to transition into this one

DEMENTIA (The Midsummer Station) i’d put this as a highlight but recognize its coz its a personal fave. it sounds like it would be incredibly depressing of course but it has nothing to do with actual dementia thank god. it’s a love song and very upbeat in both sound and content. i’m hugely partial to the lyrics, especially the pairs “every light in the night flickered in and out / every bone in my back shivered up and down”; “every voice in my head shouted yes and no / every freight train of thought fought to stop and go”; “every tear in my eyes dripped and wouldn’t drop / every disc in my spine shook and couldn’t stop” and “every hand let me go that i tried to hold / every warm-hearted love left me freezing cold”

KISS ME BABE, IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME (single) he has a bunch of random christmas singles and this ones the best. the titles ridiculous and i love it, and the song isn’t really about anything and i love it. it is such a bop. “peppermint winter” and “humbug” are the other best xmas ones

SHOOTING STAR (Midsummer) half the songs on this album are summery dancey songs about having fun with other people (usually owl city songs are about being lonely or having fun with one other person tops by cloudwatching, so this album is unusual in that regard and rocks out a bit which is also unusual as per owl city’s tendency to sound really dreamy or otherwise fairly light. it bothers people who are in the “the old stuff is better” camp of everything) and the other half are upbeat summery songs that are encouraging and tell you you’re a good and special person. this one is the latter and a lot of fun. i like the lyrics and melody of the lines “fan a flame so hot it melts our hearts” and “let your colors burn and brightly burst / into a million sparks that all disperse / and illuminate a world that’ll try to bring you down” (but not this time)

GOLD (Midsummer) same category song as above (title refers to “i know you’re gold”). it’s great and sung to a person about to go off and do something and you’re telling them they can totally do it because they’re great. i maintain that one of the Owl City Signature Moves is The Affectionate Sigh: he’s very good at working in words sung with a rising/falling tone, a la a sigh, and its an upbeat delivery not like a “im sad” sigh. when it happens in this song is my favorite part of the whole thing, at the end of the line: “you’ll never be far, i’m keeping you near, inside of my heart, you’re he^re”

BEAUTIFUL TIMES (Ultraviolet EP) the songs on ultraviolet all have a super cool sound, kind of mixing the more loud/layered/noisy quality of midsummer station with the more introverted vibe he usually has, and are all kind of about being stressed and sad but looking to something or someone and kind of seeing a chance to feel okay. “this isn’t the end” is completely about a girl who’s dad kills himself but it has the really good line “you fight to survive cuz you made it this far” and otherwise has a technically uplifting end but without much of the “you shouldnt kill yourself because life is magical” bs which is useless and irrelevant imo but instead the “life is chaotic and you cant say the future is going to be good but it exists and meanwhile you’re not dead yet” which is an infinitely more thoughtful approach. but anyways, about beautiful times: its also about being happy but usually being really sad (“this fight of my life is so hard (so hard, so hard) but i’m gonna survive, oh oh these are beautiful times,”) and also isnt very patronizing about the subject (the prospect/aspiration of feeling happy when you’re a Sad Person) and frames everything in having had damagingly negative feelings while still being overall positive. i really like the way he sings into the first few verses with an echo of what will be the first couple of words, overlapping slightly and growing in volume before taking you right into the actual start of the verse. this is the most upbeat sounding song of the EP imo

THUNDERSTRUCK (Mobile Orchestra) the intro alone is killer. one of the most Go Hard to songs of the owl city discography. proudly carries the tradition of singing about ghosts (see: plant life, a fun-to-sing-along-to song all about an actual haunted house)

BACK HOME (Mo Orch) this album has a lot of sounds that, while familiar, are different from any of the other albums, like this one which is very very country. it goes hard as fuck. it uses the word “fireflies” for the first time since fireflies. i love it

CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU (M.O.) personal fave of the album is mostly why this is here. as the title suggests its a dramatic love song, i love how pumped the chorus is and the way the outro sounds. Love To Sing Along

***WHEN CAN I SEE YOU AGAIN?*** this is peak “happy music, sad lyrics” even though thats everywhere in owl city music, its pretty rare to find songs that are straightforwardly happy. this song is a banger and lyrically crushing. i guess its in the “bittersweet” category like a shit ton of owl city songs are, but still. this song changed our lives

I HOPE YOU THINK OF ME has this sick chill drumbeat throughout the song which is kind of rare. it kind of fuses his underwater type sound with his going hard as hell sound. like, it would be like the choreography of “bet on it” if i was listening to this song while standing up. you get really into the lyrics. i love this part at the end where the music pulls back for just a second while he goes “the thought is KILLING me!” shoutout to “kamikaze” where he yells half of it and its invigorating, shoutout to “paper tigers” which is an amazing song that hasnt shown up on an album

SUNBURN (Ocean Eyes) possibly the cutest owl city song. it has a sweet guitar riff. cute sweet, not sickass sweet.

HOT AIR BALLOON (Ocean Eyes) possibly the happiest owl city song. extremely cute but not as cute as sunburn but happier than sunburn.

BEAUTIFUL MYSTERY killer intro, really upbeat, the melody of the verses is great and the chorus goes pretty hard

RAINBOW VEINS (Maybe I’m Dreaming) another top level cute and happy song (“cheer up and dry your damp eyes, and tell me when it rains, and i’ll blend up that rainbow above you, and shoot it through your veins”) and has a top tier chilled out whispery interlude/bridge/whatever that then throws you into this pumped up finale

THE YACHT CLUB (ATBAB) speaking of being thrown into a pumped up finale, this does that too. so does “umbrella beach.” this one goes hardest imo and the live version of it goes even harder than that. plus the lyrics are amazing and the alliteration is stellar

***SUPER HONEYMOON*** (Maybe I’m Dreaming) consistently one of my top tier faves. i like the semi staccato delivery of parts of the lyrics, the music is fantastic, also very Classic Example of owl city

SKY DIVER (MID) super dreamy and pretty and bittersweet sounding, classic

HALCYON a bop!!! electronica on electronica

SLEEPWALKER so fun and sounds like a song to be going to the beach to

YOUTOPIA (ft. Adam Young) obvs not owl city but i’m putting it in, the full 4 min version. not only dreamy and bittersweet but one thing i always love in music is an unresolved musical phrase repeating on end. there’s also this part in the middle where his vocals kind of layer and grow and it has a long E sound and when he lingers on the long E its one of those things that would be grating except for its actually great because of that. see: honey and the bee

MR. HEARTACHE (ft. Adam Young) a total bop about being sad. like i wanna jump around to this song. see: tokyo, the song by adam young (owl city) featuring the artists of this one, SEKAI NO OWARI, which has my fave lyric “are you having fun yet, i’ll send you the sunset, i love the most”

FIREFLIES (Said the Sky remix) the intro to this is like, oh my god. the only fireflies remix the world needs.

UMBRELLA BEACH (Long Lost Sun remix) the original is great but i love this version even more. the finale is fantastic and exuberant

THAT’S IT i could include all the songs because i have good things to say and specific things to point out about each of them. for example: dental care is a masterpiece of puns. puns are a running theme in owl city. so is ghosts, the sky, the ocean, and The Affectionate Sigh. if you listen to enough songs you find repetitions of certain phrases like “oh darling i wish you were here,” “i feel like a postcard, i wish you were here,” “like hundreds of postcards, that say i wish you were here” and someone should make a post of all of them. it would be me if i had a laptop. anyways i like owl city you’re welcome for this post

[zagenta]

hear me out for a sec

Tbh all that’s left of the good h/a/m/ilton content that isn’t just pretty fanart of the musical is rly intriguing b/c i feel like it exists on this plane of existence completely separate from actual history or even the musical? Do you know what I mean?

Like I know its usually considered OOC writing for characters to be unlike canon but all the really interesting content i’ve consumed has evolved the characters so that they’re far more interesting their their canon counterparts, b/c ppl are using the bare bones of what was once probably a historical demon man to base a template for a fully fleshed out character. There’s been some really great content that delves into exploration of sexuality, gender, race, etc that’s based primarily on ppls interpretations, although that’s probably bc at this point i primarily only look at content by authors of color that talk abt LGBT+ characters of color.

Honestly it’s an excuse for some real creativity and exploration of intimate subject matter.

The femslash and the next gen stuff is a great example. Originally this post was going to be a joke that I was gonna write an original story featuring the hamilton next gen and nobody would have any idea, but really its true. Ppl have fabricated personalities out of practically nothing or very little historical info for characters that have very small roles or are completely cut from the diegesis such as Frances Laurens, Dolley Madison, Maria Cosway, Maria Reynolds, Martha Manning, Theodosia Jr, Georges and Adrienne, etc and I think that’s amazing!

And these practically fanmade characters are given stories that touch on LGBT+ themes, parental/child dynamics, drugs, racism, mental illness, art, music, etc. It’s surprisingly mature, and these characters expand upon the themes of the original text and adds additional themes and making it better, more palatable, and more satisfying.

 Almost always set in a creative setting or a modern setting.

Not that there isn’t that mountain of weird fetish-y romanticization works from the fandom, there is, but at this point i’ve learned to tune it out. I just think its amazing how fans can expand a pretty problematic original text into something far more interesting (it’s actually a pretty similar phenomenon to what happened with T/w/i/light, 50 shades fiasco aside). There’s lots of cringey stuff, but the same fan cliches can also be used to great effect.

Perfect example? Nonbinary Laf: often a cringey token nonbinary flamboyant european gay stereotype or an excuse to fetishize daveed, but i’ve also seen (and written, not to hype myself up too much) works that show a lot of depth to his character, his defiant flamboyancy being an act of queer transgression, that are a lot more introspective on the experience of being a nonbinary or bisexual person and parent, an outsider.

Often its the stereotypes that were used to the point of exhaustion by white fandom that we reclaimed to spin in a more nuanced light (some of it we worked to deconstruct b/c it was just nasty but other stuff we’ve reclaimed).

Because seriously, what fans of color have done w/ the show vs. what white fans have done is honestly incomparable. I mean, I doubt Israa still cares abt this demon musical, but her fics were serious artistry. Same w/ Dia, but Sorry About the Blood in Your Mouth is AMAZING. And Peaches’ Maria Cosway Certified Lesbian is the most charming thing on the planet. I even think the silly shit has its merits. 

& its strange, b/c most of these characters are so unlike their original counterparts, or were created from whole cloth, so they feel much more like *mine* than any character on some whitebread m/a/r/v/e/l show could be. And while, H/a/m/i/l/ton, as problematic as it is, is probably quite literally a masterpiece, these characters really don’t belong to the musical or to history. Sure they may inhabit the same names, but they’re not the same.

Butch lesbian Peggy is OURS, its not the musical’s. Stoner John Laurens, (silly as it might seem) is ours (well, its Vic’s), not the musical’s. Nonbinary Lafayette is OURS. Butch lesbian Frances Laurens with a F/un H/ome dynamic with her fucked up gay dad is ours. Technically-not-siblings/best-friend-cousins Philip and Frances is OURs. (I’d argue even the more problematic ones like Mads & TJ are so removed from the historical and musical reality that they fall under this category, fucked up as it seems).

They’re their own characters, they exist in a universe tangential to history and the musical but not the same one.

--And I’m gonna veer off into self-indulgent territory, but as far as my own involvement in fandom goes, I personally put a lot of work into this alternate universe. Closeted, ambitious, perfectionist Dolley Payne is mine. Gangly, neurotic, awkward gay Georges is mine. Angelica/Dolley the ambitious power couple is mine. Queer anarchist rebel Virginie de Lafayette is mine. They’re MY characters, and I’m extremely proud of them.

tbh im just gonna admit that me focusing on second generation of kids like Frances & Philip & etc and the women both in the show & that weren’t rly in it like Eliza & Angelica & Dolley & shit is how i reconcile w/ myself for H/a/m/ilton being a show based on the demon fathers & its not a perfect solution but tbh it gives me an excuse to just make up shit that are basically my own OCs bc half the characters i writer abt were never in the show. I know its basically an excuse to assuage my own guilt but there it is.

Anyways im not rly sure how to end this, if we’re mutuals i’d rly like your input. And pls don’t let this circulate around, i especially dont want antis to see it nor particularly do i care abt white fans’ opinions either

also i know this is super apologist i just wanted to express an idea

[buddyfaith]

ok check this out right, this is The Great Skewing of AA Ships, in reverse chronological order by birth chunks for convenience.

2009-2011

Athena, Juniper (2009)/ Pearl (2010)/ Trucy (2010/11)

Because this category is all girls, Athena’s introduction is literally her being a Doting Gal Pal™ to Junie, Trucy and Pearl being psychic kid buddies is canon iirc? it’s a good time all around. There’s two years between the oldest member of this batch and the youngest, and as far as i can tell like no male character who shows up more than once belongs here. 

1999-2004

Simon, Maya, Franziska (1999) / Ema (2001)/ Regina Berry, Kay, Klavier, Sebastian (2001/02)/ Daryan (2002)/ Nahyuta (2003) / Apollo, Clay (2004)

okay so im gonna kick this off with the only “”feasible”” m/f pair I can see here, fey///quill. Don’t get me wrong, Maya is a lesbian through and through (imho), but for [straight person voice] argument’s sake: there’s a lot in terms of a potential relationship there? Maya would think Simon as equal parts too cool!!! and too dedicated….. and they would both collect steel samurai trading cards, dont even lie to yourself. This makes 300% more sense than….. the other simon one. look inside yourself.That being said!!!! I don’t think they’ve even met, really. Timelines have always been kinda ehhhhh and if capcom wanted this we would have had it down our throats, especially now that they’ve existed in the same game. I want them to be friends.

ANYWAY look at all of those girls. I admit Regina is only there because she tried to apply to be Kay’s gf  in the yatagarasu but aside from her, any and all of them have met. They’re an ot5 or less depending on personal preference, and honestly any combination of the girls (especially if you exclude Regina, who’s only here on two technicalities) stands as plausible. This is compounded by all of these girls in particular being popularly depicted as lesbians!

aaaand the back six. I admit Daryan shouldnt be here but he’s put with Klavier sometimes and he’s also an asshole. That’s something I’ve seen in fics sometimes so there he is. Anyway. Outside of that and, obviously, Brothers Nahyuta and Apollo, it’s fair game here too? everybody else has a ship with apollo and that’s just the start of it, the only person I’ve genuinely seen never shipped with anybody is Sebestian. 

ANYWAY i’m personally partial to the fan favorites of this generation in terms of the boys (klapoll/o + simon and nahyuta) but im always down to throw clay into the former for the truest ot3. this is my Unneeded Opinion™ to close the category.

1992-1996

Phoenix Edgeworth and Justine (1992-93)/ Larry, Dahlia, and Iris (1993)/ Bobby Fulbright (1994)/ Adrian Andrews (1994/95)/ Maggey and the wonderful couple The Delites (1995-96)

it’s worth noting that the established grand larceny power couple were both born at the same time, that’s cute. also, Adrian is just here for reference against Franziska, who’s in the next chunk chronologically, and Bobby is here for reference against Simon, who is the same. (*deep breath* black/bright….. what could have been…….) also maggey is here to go up with gumshoe but i dont even remember where that dude is.

This technically isn’t a complete chunk. Lang is born in ‘91, in between this batch and the last one, but im making the list and the rules.

Not much to say here except bi phoenix is pried from my cold dead hands? right. Also i’ve never seen justine/ edgeworth in my life and i appreciate that in retrospect, although im sure it exists.

1985-1991

Diego (1985)/ Thalassa, Gumshoe (1986)/ Lana (1987)/ Mia, Calisto Yew (1989)/ Aura Blackquill (& presumably Metis Cykes) (1990)/ Lang (1991)

i put the interpol furry in this half as opposed to the last one because calisto yew had us both going and i Love to Suffer c:

anyway the only romantic cyke///squi///ll i need in my life ever is Metis and Aura. Metis doesn’t have a birthday so im taking things into my own hands there but even if i wasn’t she’d be around here somewhere.

Observable phenomena: lana and mia were born consecutively and are big lesbians…… i should talk about diego here but i won’t, lemme save it for the end, i have conclusive proof mia is a lesbian.

1982-1985

Datz, Valant, Ray (1982)/  Dhurke (1983)/ Katherine Hall (1985)

ok this is kind of the point when things start getting irrelevant but we have the rebel leaders who were probably a ship? i havent done much fandom-ing wrt soj and also ray and kate who is like. the only person in his own age rage that he hits on. ray wyd stop being a creep.

ADDITIONAL NOTES:

There’s a 13 year difference between badd (1958) and faraday (1971), making them the largest age difference ship with any traction in my heart. The gap between Gumshoe and Maggey is ten years? wow.

Morgan’s birth is approximated, but she’s a maximum 3 years younger than Greg (1966). 

 Most differences of 6ish years (Miles and Franziska, Phoenix and Maya, Athena and Simon in the outlying 12 year case) are portrayed as siblings (I mean I guess the latter two are my humble onion but. C’mon.) 

Thalassa is closer in age to gumshoe, Katherine Hall, Lana Skye, and Diego Armando (to name a few, there are more) than Zak Enigmar. There is no documented birthday for Jove Justice, but if he was older than twenty when they were married, the same holds true for him.

Defense attorneys aren’t suited to each other! As far as i can tell nobody with a badge on their lapel tries to date anybody else with the same.*

Co-counsel doesn’t date!*

(*my idea that mia is a lesbian is vaguely rooted in this since mi/ego is the only thing that goes against it? and that ends badly! it turns out she didn’t feel that way for him and she realized that once he “died”, so hc that she only said yes to him to see if it would go anywhere/heteronormativity/realized she was a lesbian after dating him)

anyway every other co-counsel relationship is literal siblings or someone and Mr Wright.  

this got even longer than i was expecting but as a closing remark because of the story’s format and timeline we have a particularly large amount of gay ships! like the particular focus that the game casts upon the relationship between wright and miles, klavier and apollo, particularly NOT simon and athena, considering how similar the “i became a lawyer to save you!” narrative is to p+m and yet the story is about her mother, is about coming to terms with their own trauma etc, siblings, anyway. i’m done now.

[warmdevs]

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Needy Design Patterns: Please-Don’t-Go Popups & Get-Back-to-Me Tabs

In UX design, “dark patterns” are deceptive strategies used by designers to trick users into doing potentially harmful things that support their organization’s goals. For example, sites that automatically add extra items into users’ shopping carts are using a dark pattern to increase their sales.

The two design patterns discussed in this article fall into a similar (if slightly less immoral) category, which we call “needy patterns.” These are design patterns aimed at grabbing users’ attention. They’re driven by goals like increasing email-newsletter signups or page views, but they slow users down or degrade their overall experience.

There are many patterns that could fall into this needy category. In this article we focus on two needy patterns that have recently become popular and that interfere with browser-tab usage.

There are two primary types of behavior involving the use of multiple browser tabs:

Parallel browsing, where a user alternates between tasks, generally using one tab per task

Page parking, where a user opens multiple pages into different tabs in support of one large task (such as comparing items to buy, or researching a topic)

Millennials in particular tend to rely on page parking as an information-seeking strategy. The two needy patterns we discuss here hurt people who use multiple tabs, whether for parallel browsing or page parking. We’ve named these needy patterns:

The please-don’t-go popup

The get-back-to-me browser tab

The Please-Don’t-Go Popup

This pattern is sometimes known as an “exit-intent popup,” an “exit popup,” or an “exit modal” (in an attempt to disassociate this pattern with the reviled word “popup,» which is tainted by being the #1 most-hated advertising technique). These popups lurk unseen until the user starts to move the mouse towards the top of the page. Panicking that the user is about to bounce, the exit popup triggers a desperate, final attempt to keep the user’s interest. These popups often contain content such as, “Before you go…!” or “Don’t miss…!” Sometimes they offer discounts, advertise an email newsletter, or suggest related content.

An exit popup from TNW News pushes the organization’s email newsletter.

The exact functionality of each exit popup differs. Sometimes the popup will appear as soon as the user starts moving towards the top of the page; in other cases, it will show up after a specific amount of time (5 seconds, 10 seconds, etc.). Sometimes the popup is combined with animation — for example, creating a shaking effect. Sometimes it works alongside cookies, so a user who sees an exit popup and stays on the site won’t see it again.

This exit popup on wpbeginner.com uses a shake animation, which has the effect of making a popup even more annoying.

The goal is to catch users before they abandon the site, to show them something they may have missed, or to provide one final appeal to capture their attention. And, according to the logic of exit popups, who cares if this appeal doesn’t work and users are annoyed? There’s nothing to lose, because they’re leaving anyway, right?

Wrong. When users engage in page parking, they systematically move between opened tabs, saving their place to return later. The code behind exit popups doesn’t know if a user is moving the mouse to:

close the tab,

temporarily move to another tab, or

open a new tab.

The exit popup can’t tell the difference. Imagine that a user is engaging in page parking to help her research a topic. She starts with a Google query, and then opens up several results into new tabs rapidly. The user begins moving through each tab, closing some that are irrelevant, but saving some to return to them later. Then, in the middle of this process, an exit popup suddenly appears, pressuring her to check out some different content or sign up for an email newsletter. The user thinks, “Wow, calm down! I was going to come back in two minutes!”

This exit popup on lifehack.org assumes users are leaving because they’re finished with the current piece of content, and makes a last-minute attempt to show related topics. Unfortunately, the popup is irritating if the user hasn’t finished reading the current piece of content.

Except when it’s in their best interest (preventing someone from closing a file without saving it, for example), we never recommend intentionally interrupting or annoying users.

The Get-Back-to-Me Browser Tab

This next pattern has nothing to do with what happens while you’re on the website, but instead it’s related to what happens when you’ve left. When a user navigates away from a website by visiting another browser tab, the site swaps the original page title with an attention-seeking message.

In this example, the Chrome browser has 7 open tabs. The last three tabs have replaced the tab title with a needy message.

Blog.invisionapp.com replaces the name of the blog post with a reminder to return to the tab. In this example, part of this reminder is cut off due the number of browser tabs open. (When users have many tabs open at once, page titles are often cut off.)

The website’s primary goal is to cleverly hijack users’ attention and bring them back to the site. Maybe there were some good intentions driving this design decision: perhaps the site truly hopes to be helpful and remind users to view the content on that page. However, this reminder isn’t helpful at all; in fact, it is problematic for two major reasons:

the loss of context caused by an unhelpful title, and

the likelihood that whatever effectiveness the tactic once held will be eroded as more sites adopt it

Loss of Context

Without the true page title, people are left with no clues for the content of the tab. Users often keep frequently visited pages such as Facebook or news websites open throughout the day in order to revisit them and check for updates. Users who are shopping or conducting research may be parked on many pages at once, using browser tabs to collect and manage product options and information

Page titles should begin with information-carrying words to give users context and help them differentiate among tabs. In addition, websites should utilize a well-designed favicon (the small 16×16 pixel icon used in tabs) to help users identify which tabs belong to which site.

In the previous example, Invisionapp would be better off keeping the title of the blog post on the tab at all times. For users conducting research on a particular topic, this tab may be one of many that they intend to read over time. The best reminder to return to the tab is the actual page title, which has meaning to the user and probably some appeal to them in the context of the current task (or the user wouldn’t have opened that page in the first place). With no context, it’s likely that users scanning their parked tabs will not recognize the unrelated title and dismiss the page altogether.

Ineffective when Commonly Used

Some designers might argue that this technique will delight users by catching their attention with something unique and unexpected. That delight (if it ever existed in the first place) will no doubt turn to frustration quickly if this pattern becomes widely used across the web. Page parking and parallel browsing will become quite difficult if your browser tabs resemble a bunch of journalists fighting for attention at a press conference.

Too many other sites already replicate the problematic get-back-to-me pattern.

When multiple browser tabs employ this technique, users have no indication of which tab contains what content. They will be forced to bounce in and out of each page to remember what the tab contains. And if these websites are really needy, these users may also be dealing with please-don’t-go popups slowing them down along the way.

Twitter prepends the page title with a numeric indicator to let users know how much additional content has been added to their feed since it was last checked. This tab-title update effectively reminds the user to return without removing the context of the page.

Think of your page tab as one of many nodes in a distinct and dynamic global navigation created by the user to meet their unique needs. Your page title serves as a label in this navigation and should provide the appropriate context and information scent, so that users can assess the content of the page.

Conclusion

Every website has a personality. The visual design, the interaction design, the copy, and tone of voice all contribute to how your users perceive your site and your brand. Needy patterns like the please-don’t-go popover and the get-back-to-me tab chip away at the presentation of a professional, confident website. They also damage users’ perceptions of credibility.

As a thought experiment, ask your brand manager whether “we’re desperate for attention” is one of the company’s stated brand values. If not, why signal such desperation to customers?

These kinds of tactics are often embraced and accepted based on better conversion performance in A/B tests. However, there’s a big tradeoff that comes with being needy and annoying — the degradation of your relationship with your users.

Prioritizing conversions or short-term metrics leads designers to pressure people into doing things they don’t actually want to do and can easily cross the ethical boundaries towards dark patterns. It’s time to reassess priorities and long-term goals: you may be getting a few extra clicks now, but in the long run you’re losing your users’ trust and respect. Nobody likes a needy website.