#this set feminism ahead by 20 years

[martyrbat]

harley's little black book #1

[haggishlyhagging]

But what exactly is it about women's equality that even its slightest shadow threatens to erase male identity? What is it about the way we frame manhood that, even today, it still depends so on "feminine" dependence for its survival? A little-noted finding by the Yankelovich Monitor survey, a large nationwide poll that has tracked social attitudes for the last two decades, takes us a good way toward a possible answer. For twenty years, the Monitor's pollsters have asked its subjects to define masculinity. And for twenty years, the leading definition, ahead by a huge margin, has never changed. It isn't being a leader, athlete, lothario, decision maker, or even just being "born male." It is simply this: being a "good provider for his family."

If establishing masculinity depends most of all on succeeding as the prime breadwinner, then it is hard to imagine a force more directly threatening to fragile American manhood than the feminist drive for economic equality. And if supporting a family epitomizes what it means to be a man, then it is little wonder that the backlash erupted when it did—against the backdrop of the '80s economy. In this period, the "traditional" man's real wages shrank dramatically (a 22 percent free-fall in households where white men were the sole breadwinners), and the traditional male breadwinner himself became an endangered species (representing less than 8 percent of all households). That the ruling definition of masculinity remains so economically based helps to explain, too, why the backlash has been voiced most bitterly by two groups of men: blue-collar workers, devastated by the shift to a service economy, and younger baby boomers, denied the comparative riches their fathers and elder brothers enjoyed. The '80s was the decade in which plant closings put blue-collar men out of work by the millions, and only 60 percent found new jobs—about half at lower pay. It was a time when, of all men losing earning power, younger baby-boom men were losing the most. The average man under thirty was earning 25 to 30 percent less than his counterpart in the early '70s. Worst off was the average young man with only a high-school education: he was making only $18,000, half the earnings of his counterpart a decade earlier. Inevitably, these losses in earning power would breed other losses. As pollster Louis Harris observed, economic polarization spawned the most dramatic attitudinal change recorded in the last decade and a half: a spectacular doubling in the proportion of Americans who describe themselves as feeling "powerless."

When analysts at Yankelovich reviewed the Monitor survey's annual attitudinal data in 1986, they had to create a new category to describe a large segment of the population that had suddenly emerged, espousing a distinct set of values. This segment, now representing a remarkable one-fifth of the study's national sample, was dominated by young men, median age thirty-three, disproportionately single, who were slipping down the income ladder—and furious about it. They were the younger, poorer brothers of the baby boom, the ones who weren't so celebrated in '80s media and advertising tributes to that generation. The Yankelovich report assigned the angry young men the euphemistic label of "the Contenders."

The men who belonged to this group had one other distinguishing trait: they feared and reviled feminism. "It's these downscale men, the ones who can't earn as much as their fathers, who we find are the most threatened by the women's movement." Susan Hayward, senior vice president at Yankelovich, observes. "They represent 20 percent of the population that cannot handle the changes in women's roles. They were not well employed, they were the first ones laid off, they had no savings and not very much in the way of prospects for the future." Other surveys would reinforce this observation. By the late '80s, the American Male Opinion Index found that the largest of its seven demographic groups was now the "Change Resisters," a 24 percent segment of the population that was disproportionately underemployed, "resentful," convinced that they were "being left behind" by a changing society, and most hostile to feminism.

To single out these men alone for blame, however, would be unfair. The backlash's public agenda has been framed and promoted by men of far more affluence and influence than the Contenders, men at the helm in the media, business, and politics. Poorer or less-educated men have not so much been the creators of the antifeminist thesis as its receptors. Most vulnerable to its message, they have picked up and played back the backlash at distortingly high volume. The Contenders have dominated the ranks of the militant wing of the '80s antiabortion movement, the list of plaintiffs filing reverse-discrimination and "men's rights" lawsuits, the steadily mounting police rolls of rapists and sexual assailants.

-Susan Faludi, Backlash: the Undeclared War Against American Women

[kaitropoli]

"The Genius of Advertising Could No Further Go"

National Police Gazette (Vol. 36, Iss. 147).

Magazine illustration, 17 July 1880.

Archive Link.

Fair warning: yapping ahead. Things I explore: the National Police Gazette, the illustration, and a teeny history of 19th-century women brothel owners... and also an apology because I didn't mean to write all of this.

THE NATIONAL POLICE GAZETTE

"THE Genius of Advertising Could No Further Go—An Enterprising Proprietress of a Bagnio Places a Photo-Lithograph in Her Window Setting Forth The Charms of the Inmates; New York City" (full caption) is from the National Police Gazette, a magazine founded in 1845 by Enoch E. Camp and George Wilkes that covered murders, outlaws, and sports—as any man-interested tabloid would (I'm not a man, but yippee-ki-yay, would I tune in). And, of course, the gazette would include scandalous (on the cusp of obscene and illegal (Victorian era, keep that in mind)) images of female sex workers and performers (think of it as the time's Playboy... silly enough, they also had Marilyn Monroe for their cover, this being 1956 instead of PB's 1953).

TRAGICALLY, the National Police Gazette would see its largest spike in popularity during the Great Depression before suspending publication from 1933-1935 due to selling ownership twice, being sold again in the late sixties, and then killing the magazine's production in 1977. A whole 132-year reign, including being the prime news for Boxing in the 20s (the editor and proprietor, Richard Fox, handed studded belts to champion fighters) and being barred by USPS, declares this magazine not only a historical relic but also a forgotten yet still-living America—one for the men (and, of course, us girls. After all, this was peak American).

ILLUSTRATION

BACK to the picture. The caption mentions the word 'bagnio,' which, upon scanning, accidentally read the N as an X, so I searched up the word to make sure I was reading it entirely correctly—I was. It's an archaic term for 'brothel' (a place where patrons visit prostitutes). The illustration depicts men staring at images of prostitutes that are pinned on the window by the owner (can't blame men for using women to make money as, in this situation, it's a female owner).

WOMEN & BROTHELS

SURPRISINGLY enough, women dominated Western America, building communities and providing for the economy. The fact I call it surprising is because I just learned this (Feminism should fight against history erasure because this should've been a widely talked about chapter in HS American History)! As much as I believe women shouldn't sell their bodies and that we need to better take care of women (forced prostitution—sex slavery—runs the prostitution industry), I can't deny the history women have with Bordellos, not as employees but also as owners. Madams are the title of these female brothel owners, and they were common back in the 19th century. Most of the time, Madams were entry-level (showgirls) who made almost as much as factory workers and worked their way up to the top or used their money to create inns and parlors, expanding their wealth. These women, though taking advantage of their own and other girls' (usually aged from their mid-teens to middle-aged) bodies, capitalized and found their place in labored society... something that can be considered early feminism. They planted themselves in the economy and made it known that they could own property, make money, and (yes, even in 1800s United States) vote. That, you can applaud.

APOLOGY

I didn't actually expect to yap on this post; I was writing my book, scrolling for images, and found this one, and wanted to include the full caption... which ended down a rabbit hole😭

[celestialholz]

What's an interesting yet not very well known Forgotten Realms fact that you would like to share?

Hello, dearest anon. I'm about to do to you what I've done to many people over the years and deeply disappoint you 🤣 I'm not especially familiar with the D&D setting outside of BG3 - I actually play WFRP in some of my spare time.

But in lieu of a Forgotten Realms fact, a handful of BG3 facts you may not know and that I think are very interesting, learned from my three and a half playthroughs. :)

1. Minthara's battle phrase 'sussun egg oloth' is Drow for 'light slays darkness', which is funky and appropriate for a paladin who has been exiled from her Underdark hometown. This is also written on Isobel's tomb - and Aylin is the source of both Ketheric's immortality and, potentially, his downfall.

2. Astarion's Persuasion check to stop him ascending is literally half of Shadowheart's not to kill Nightsong, provided you have to use her Persuasion check anyway. Which is absolutely wild to me.

3. A Storm Sorceror using Chain Lightning on a Wet target with Destructive Wrath and the Killer's Sweetheart auto-crit will do 320 damage in one turn if it isn't saved, assuming a 'normal' hit - i.e. lack of resistance/not being vulnerable.

4. Gortash's name is a play off the theme of radiance, hence his crossbow doing Radiant damage when he's my favourite bastard. :) His Hellfire Watcher-in-chief also carries Gontr Mael, the legendary longbow of this game that also does Radiant damage.

5. Gale is the only one of the tadfools whose guardian has a specific gender - he refers to them as she/her.

6. There's a second Dark Amethyst for the Necromancy of Thay in Mystic Carrion's basement.

7. There's a really cool axe behind the Illusion door in Sorcerous Sundries, but only if you destroy the door.

8. If you take one of the Drow twins in Sharess' Caress with you upstairs and Minthara is your partner, she will threaten to kill them if your sordid act goes ahead. Ignore her and go anyway, and Initiative will roll the second you speak to them in their quarters. (On god this is the funniest shit I've seen in a game crammed full of really funny shit.)

9. On arriving in Baldur's Gate, if you speak to a romanced Gale he'll tell you he's happy to support you if you're finding city life a bit overwhelming. This is supremely cute.

10. The Light of Creation doesn't stun you if you're naturally immune to Lightning.

11. An Embrace Durge can be targeted successfully by Hold Monster, even in humanoid form.

12. The Sunwalker's Gift doesn't work on console. My githyanki and dragonborn disapprove.

13. Ketheric's Netherstone is pink, the colour of feminity and adoration - presumably because he turned to the darkness after losing two women he loved.

14. If given free choice, even as a Selûnite Shadowheart will choose to kill her parents in the House of Grief.

15. Lorroakan keeps the best staff (and arguably the best robe) in the game in his basement, and uses a reasonable variant of both himself instead. A delightful showcase of his incompetence.

16. In Balanced, the Steel Watch are weak to lightning, and default Durge is a Storm Sorceror. This one's just fun. :)

17. Tactician Raphael has 865 health. Ew.

18. If you fight Gortash whilst the Steel Watch are still active, and try to give yourself an easier life by Arcane Locking the door to the three Watchers outside so they can't help, when the fight starts all three of them will be inexplicably surrounding Gortash.

19. You can pickpocket Withers. And he does not care how many times you fail it.

20. If you're struggling with the House of Grief fight, a Light Cleric can dispel magical darkness up to four times in the fight with the Amulet of the Devout.

:)

[starkentrprises]

push red (everytime you phone me).

winterironspider, office sex, sub!peter, dom!tony, dom!bucky, daddy/sir, feminization, creampies, phone sex, degradation, humiliation kink.

MY AO3.

so this fic is over a year old & i think my writing has definitely changed since then but— @snowstark persuaded me to post it here, considering i started working on a sequel as requested on my ao3. if anyone wants to be tagged in the second part, just let me know.

Tony had made it explicitly clear to every employee and intern that crossed his path that morning that he didn’t want to see a single one of their faces. He was on the edge of a migraine, the coffee pot wasn’t working, and he was in the mood to fire whoever looked at him sideways.

Pepper was gracious enough to hand an intern $20 to get him the largest, sugariest concoction the Starbucks across the street could offer. That seemed to do the trick in terms of his general mood, but something— someone was missing.

Tony spent most of the morning isolated in his office. It was a grueling task, having to reply to emails and actually work for once. His usual tactic was getting pepper to do it by ignoring the stacks of paperwork long enough. However, she was also in a pissy mood. Pissy Pepper and a disobedient Tony equaled a very unhappy time for everyone. Halfway through the afternoon, once his coffee was long gone, there was a little knock on his office door.

“Come in,” he called, tapping his pen against his desk.

Peter peeked in, opening the door just a crack. He had a shy smile on his face, pretty blush dusting freckled cheeks. “Daddy?” He asked softly. “You okay?”

“You don’t have to stand there, baby, come in.” Tony said, looking up from his stack of papers to meet Peter's gaze. He stepped into the office— a vision in his puffy-sleeved, powder pink dress. Peter shut the door behind himself. Tony turned in his chair, dropping his knees open a bit. That was all it took for Peter to accept the unspoken invitation.

He plopped himself down in Tony’s lap, legs hanging off each side of the large chair. He quickly wrapped himself around his boyfriend. Peter rested his head on Tony’s shoulder as the chair swiveled back around.

“You need something, prince?” He asked, pecking the top of Peter’s head.

“I dunno I.. miss you,” Peter mumbled.

He shifted in Tony’s lap, settling all his weight on one of his thighs, wiggling his hips just so. That’s when Tony felt it— the wide base of a plug poking against his thigh. “But Miss Potts said you’re busy.. don’t wanna be a bother,” Peter continued, pushing his hips down against Tony’s thigh.

“I always have time for you, prince, always,” he insisted. Peter sat up in his lap, soft pout on his lips. “Promise—?”

Tony couldn’t help but grin. His boy was downright angelic. He placed a gentle kiss on his lips, nodding his head once he pulled away. “I promise, Petey-pie.” He deliberately dropped his tone, knowing exactly what Peter came looking for.

“Now, tell Daddy what you want.”

Peter flushed red, hands gracing the hem of his dress. “Want you to take care of me.. please?”

How could Tony say no, when his boy was gonna ask so sweetly? He placed his hands on Peter’s thighs, slowly edging them up under his skirt. He could feel the familiar pattern of lace, hooking his fingers under the sides of Peter’s panties to tug them down his legs.

“Take care of you how, baby?” He was teasing, he knew. But he knew how much Peter liked to put on a show; to be teased, face hot and red, skin flushed and left desperate.

Peter was writhing in his lap, the tips of his ears a cherry red. “Want Daddy’s cock, please.”

He was always so polite, always such a sweet little prince for his Daddy. Of course Tony would indulge him. He rucked Peter's dress up, taking in the sight. The white lace panties he had on underneath were messily shoved down his thighs. The head of his little cock was red and leaking already, and Tony had barely touched him.

“You want me to fuck you, is that it? Bend you over my desk so whoever comes in can see me use you, baby?” The filth rolled off his tongue like honey, dripping in that sickly sweet tone he loved to use to get Peter all riled up. His dick twitched at the idea, and Tony couldn’t help the wolfish grin that crept onto his face.

“Uh-huh,” Peter panted. “I- I wanna..”

“You know Daddy’s always going to give you what you need, honey.” Tony cooed, unbuttoning his slacks. “Get up, turn around.”

Peter scrambled off his lap, skirt of his dress gathered up in his little fists. He spun around, facing the door, and that alone made his cheeks flush. “My sweet boy, came all prepped and dolled up. What if someone comes in and sees your little cock spilling all over my desk?” He gave a mock gasp, taking the flared base of the plug in his grip.

Peter let out a shuddered moan when Tony lightly twisted the plug. Extra lube was pouring out of the sides, and he let it slowly drip down as he toyed with it, pumping the toy in and out of Peter’s hole.

He wobbled with every rough thrust of the plug, whimpering, gripping his dress skirt a bit tighter. “Daddy.. stop teasin’..” he panted softly. His face was burning with embarrassment, eyes set on the door, wondering what would happen if anyone did walk in.

“Alright alright,” he grumbled. It was easy enough to fully pull out the plug, Peter giving a soft whine as his rim caught on a thicker part of the toy.

Tony shoved his slacks down his thighs, hands gripping Peter’s hips as he slowly eased him down onto his cock. Even after the plug, he was still so fucking tight. He started circling his hips, jerking up a little on Tony’s dick.

He squeezed his hips roughly, enough of a sign for Peter to stop.

“Oh, baby, you know not to get too ahead of yourself,” he cooed. Peter was shaking in his lap, knuckles going white from how hard he was holding onto his skirt. “Pretty boy... always such a vision. I know exactly who would love to see you like this.”

Tony let go of Peter’s hips, reaching for his phone.

That definitely got Peter’s attention, as he shook his head. “Nuh, s’embarrassing, Daddy please,” he hiccuped.

Peter couldn’t take it, he’d been wanting release for days and he was so close to having Tony give him exactly what he wanted. He couldn’t cum without permission— cock having gone an angry shade of red, beads of precum pooling from his slit. He squeezed his eyes shut as Tony mindlessly hummed, typing away on his phone.

And then Peter heard the familiar ringtone, as loud as the speaker volume on FaceTime could go.

He squeezed his eyes shut, shaking just slightly, unable to take how shameful he felt.

Bucky picked up on the second ring.

Peter was sure he was too far gone, tuning out all the mindless small talk Tony and Bucky were making. It went on and on until he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Suh.. Sir, please, can’t take it,” he choked out. Bucky’s voice was loud and clear behind Peter, and he knew Bucky could see everything. He tsk’d softly, giving a soft sigh that rang in Peter’s eardrums.

“Look at our boy, Tones, he’s begging. Ain’t he sweet?”

There were lips pressing a warm, wet kiss to Peter’s shoulder, making him shudder.

“What’s the point of havin’ Daddy fuck your pretty pussy if you’re gonna drip everywhere, darlin’?” The slow drawl of his accent made the words even more tantalizing. The nickname was punctuated by Tony, who snaked an arm around his waist. He snapped his hips up and Peter couldn’t help the choked out moan that left his lips.

He hiccuped as he was settled in Tony’s lap again. He couldn’t move, couldn’t even try to fuck himself down on Tony’s dick and take what he needed. “Ah.. m’sorry, Sir—“ he shakily replied.

“S’not your fault, sweetheart. That’s why we gotta do this, hmm? Daddy ‘n I gotta train your cunt. Y’know why, doll?”

It got him hot all over. The way Bucky could just say things like that, no embarrassment or second guessing lacing his words. Just the rasp of his low tone, the dominance he naturally exuded.

Peter struggled to find his words, unable to control the shake of his body. “Ca-cause.. m’made for Daddy ‘n Sir, belong tuh you—“ he whined, tears now collecting in the corners of his eyes, keeping them squeezed shut.

“You hear that, Tony? Our little prince knows. Made special just for us, our own slut to fill up ‘n use.” He could practically hear Bucky’s smirk, and there’s a searing heat settling in Peter’s gut.

“I— need’tuh, pleaseplease Sir...”

Peter couldn’t even find his voice, clenching around Tony’s cock. He wasn’t even getting fucked and still, he was so desperate for something, anything.

Tony clicked his tongue, bringing his phone down to capture the perfect swell of Peter’s ass. “I think he’s been good enough, Buck. What do you think?”

“Peter, sweetheart. You think you deserve this? You been good enough for daddy to fill that little hole up?” Bucky asked. He gasped for air as he nodded wildly, earning a laugh from Tony. “He can’t even talk, Buck.”

Then Bucky was laughing at him too. “A’course he went cock-stupid… sluts like that can’t function without getting filled up at least once a day.”

Peter felt like he was in a haze, surrounded by the warmth of Bucky and Tony’s voices. Tony gently pried one of his hands away from his skirt, replacing the bunched up fabric with his phone. And there was Bucky, wet hair slicked up into a messy bun, a hand slowly fisting his cock.

Before Peter could mumble out a soft hi, Tony slammed him, chest down, onto his large desk. Calloused, heavy hands were squeezing his hips, and there was no wait. Peter couldn’t squeeze his eyes shut, hiccuping on breathy moans as Tony began fucking into him.

“You don’t wanna find out what’ll happen if you drop that phone, doll.” Bucky advised, followed by a low groan as his hips thrust up into his closed fist.

No, Peter really didn’t, but the threat of a punishment on top of how overwhelmed he felt was the tipping point. Tony’s hips snapped forward, skin slapping against skin, accompanied by the filthy squelch of Peter’s wet hole. It was so much, all at once, accumulating in his gut. He wanted to cum, he needed to, he couldn’t take it anymore.

He kept an iron grip on Tony’s phone, so scared to drop it because nothing came to mind that could be worse than the past week.

The frustration for release was too great, and Peter let out a desperate whine, tears finally bursting through and rolling down his cheeks. Every moan was a desperate reach for air, chest constricted as he was pressed flush against the wooden desk. “Da— can’t,” he whimpered.

Peter was a sight though; freckled cheeks burning cherry red with nothing but pure embarrassment, dress flipped up to expose the soft swell of his ass. fat, Hot tears streaming down his puffy cheeks. His mouth was frozen in a permanent O, looking like he was mid-cry with every thrust Tony gave.

“Sir, I gotta-“ he hiccuped, the heat in his gut too much to bear. His little cock was trapped between the desk and his tummy, a small puddle of precum underneath him.

“Cum, babydoll, make a mess on Daddy’s desk now,” Bucky instructed. He groaned over the phone, something almost animalistic, spilling into his fist.

That was Peter’s breaking point. His face on screen was contorted in some sort of silent scream, lithe body shuddering with a fervor as he came.

Tony wasn’t too far behind, fingers digging into the meat of Peter’s hips as he gave a few final thrusts.

“Oh fuck,” he breathed out, hips sputtering as he came deep in him. His boy was still shaking, body pressed against the desk. Tony pulled out, and leaned forward to pluck his phone out of Peter’s grip.

He flipped the camera around, panning in so Bucky could get a good look. Peter’s rim was red and puffy, Tony’s cum daring to drip out and down his thighs.

“Ain’t that a sight,” Bucky mumbled, watching intently as Tony reached for the plug from before.

He was careful and steady with his pace as he reinserted it, plugging Peter up for the day. “Doll, you okay?” he asked, setting down his phone. Tony readjusted the lower half of Peter’s dress, wrapping both arms around his waist to pull the boy up into his chest. Peter’s head lolled to the side, resting on Tony’s shoulder. His knees felt like jelly, a dull ache on his hips, but he felt utterly blissed out.

He lazily tugged on Tony’s shirt collar to get his attention. “C-Can Sir come..?” he asked.

Tony smiled, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Pick up the phone and ask, baby.”

Peter reached for Tony’s phone, once again flooded with embarrassment when he looked down at the desk. He’d been pressed down on Tony’s paperwork, cumming all over a few pages that had the misfortune of being lodged under him.

Peter shakily pressed the phone up to his ear. “Sir-? Can’t walk.. come ‘n get me, please?” He always asked for what he wanted that way, questions saccharine sweet. He felt a little giddy after, wanting to get carried off home by Bucky.

Instead, he was met with a condescending chuckle.

“And why would I do that, doll?” Bucky asked. Peter softly huffed, pressing up against Tony’s hand, which was gently carting through his curls.

“But.. m’tired and my legs hurt,” he mumbled, pout evident in his tone. Bucky lightly tsk’d.

“That ain’t my fault is it? That’s Daddy’s fault,” he chided. “It’s real selfish of ya, darlin,’ to only whore yourself out to one of us. I hope Daddy treated you real good, cause I got your cage waitin’ for ya. So get your ass home. Now.”

And then he hung up.

Tony must have heard the familiar dial tone, releasing his grip around Peter. “You heard the man, didn’t you, Peter?” He said, raising a brow when Peter opened his mouth to protest. Tony held out an expectant hand, where Peter placed his phone. “We’ll deal with your punishment for ruining my papers when I get home tonight,” he added, sitting back down in his chair.

Tony turned away like Peter wasn’t even there and it made his knees go weak again. “Can.. can I get my panties back, please Daddy?”

“And who paid for ‘em?” Tony asked, holding up the bundle of lace in one hand, dangling them for Peter to see. He looked down at his mary janes, face burning with shame as he mumbled out, “You did.”

“Damn right, prince. I paid for them. That makes them mine.”

“Bu—“ Tony cut him a look so sharp Peter froze mid-protest. Tony flashed him a smile so fake it was almost frigid. He didn’t try to say anything more, taking wobbly steps towards the door. Tony spoke up just as Peter took a step into the hall.

“Have a safe trip back home, baby.”

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 5x01- Previously on...

Welcome back!! I’m so excited to be writing one of these again. I think this hiatus has been the longest I’ve gone without new Diane Lockhart content in ten years, and it sure feels like it. A lot of important stuff has happened in the time since TGF season four ended (not concluded—ended). Most notably, CBS All Access became Paramount+ and suddenly started offering a lot of content I care about! I kid. 2020 was quite an eventful year, so I was curious how television’s most topical show was going to take it on. TGF is always forward-looking, but too much happened in 2020 to be ignored. And while I didn’t think TGF would have much to say about the pandemic, it seemed impossible to imagine a season five that pretended it never happened. Going into this premiere, I was expecting that they’d either skip COVID entirely or include very few references, but after seeing this episode, I feel like the writers took the only approach that made sense. And that is why they are the writers, and I'm just some girl on the internet who writes recaps.  

Anyway, before I dive into the episode, I should also note that my pandemic boredom spurred me to actually pay $30 to watch this episode early as part of the virtual ATX Festival. Yes, I paid $30 on top of the money I spend every month on Paramount+ for this show. But I write tens of thousands of words about each TGF episode—are my priorities really that surprising? I note this not to brag or even to poke fun at myself, but because watching the episode before I knew a single thing about it (not even the title!) completely changed my viewing experience. I’ve never had an experience like this with TGW or TGF. I’m one to search for critics tweeting cryptically about screeners and refresh sites looking for background extras (haven’t done this in the TGF era, though) and read every single piece of press I can find. For any big episode, I usually know the outline of what to expect going in (I even knew about Will before the episode aired in the US!). Not this one! So, I got to be surprised, and I had to—gasp—formulate my own opinions before I knew what anyone else thought! It was really pleasant, actually. I think the structure of the episode worked extremely well for me because it caught me by surprise... and also because I’m the kind of person who somehow managed to write a college paper about Previously On sequences.

I see Tumblr has made it so that “keep reading” expands the post in your dash instead of opening a new tab. I absolutely hate this. Here is a link to the post you can click instead of the keep reading button! 

The ATX stream started mid-sentence, meaning I missed the “Previously On... 2020...” title card and skipped right to Adrian saying “I’m retiring.” It was pretty easy to pick up on the device (the directness of the scenes at the start, their cadence, and their placement in the episode made it clear this was meant to mimic a Previously) but the second title card hit way harder because... well, I had no idea if this was meant to be 2020 or some moment outside of real time until a bit later in the episode.  

Man, before I get any farther into this, two things that I don’t know where else to put. First, this episode had to cover so much ground. They had to write out both Adrian and Lucca—more on that later--, figure out how to deal with all of 2020, figure out how to either wrap up or continue all the truncated season 4 plotlines, and set the stage for a new season... in 50 minutes.  

Second, just wanna shout out the Kings’ other Paramout+ show, Evil, which you should absolutely be watching even if you hate horror. Evil is a Kings show, so it is unsurprisingly topical (sometimes evil takes the form of racism or misogyny or Scott Rudin) and at times very, very funny. I would be recapping it if Paramount+ weren’t attacking me personally by airing it at the same time as TGF. Ever hear of too much of a good thing, people?! (On that note, I am VERY upset with myself for not having made a Good vs Evil joke about the Good shows and Evil. I didn’t even think about it until Robert King made the joke on Twitter, and it was right fucking there. How did I fail so miserably?!)  

So STR Laurie, who wants a 20% downsizing, is still a thing. Noted.

This scene with Landau is the only one in this previously that is actually old footage, right?  

Unexpected Margo Martindale! Yay! (Ruth Eastman is a character who is so much more effective on Fight than she was on Wife and I’m quite glad they’ve had her appear on Fight several times. It kind of redeems season seven. Kind of.)

I don’t think the writers intentionally chose for Adrian’s book deal to be with Simon & Schuster because it is the most politically fraught publisher (the number of stories about controversial memoirs they’ve picked up in 2021 alone...) but I kind of like that Adrian’s Road Not Taken involves S&S. My guess is they chose S&S because it is owned by ViacomCBS.  

“Years ago, I wanted to create a law firm run entirely by women, but it never worked out. So, why not now?” Diane says to Liz. One of the advantages of having twelve (!!!) seasons of Diane Lockhart is that we’ve seen what she’s talking about. And we’ve seen her put this idea forward multiple times, too. I have my reservations about Diane’s brand of feminism, and I’ll say more about how fraught a Diane/Liz firm would be as the show explores the potential issues there, but on the surface I’m kind of excited about the prospect of a Diane/Liz led firm. Diane has wanted this for ages, Liz is a good partner, and this actually makes sense (unlike the nonsensical Diane/Alicia alliance of late season seven, where the only rationale was “well, Alicia needs to betray Diane in the finale, but they’re not on good terms. So maybe we make them business partners so then the betrayal stings more?”). Plus I fully love that Diane would end up running a firm with Alicia’s law school rival.

(Has TGF mentioned that Liz and Alicia were law school rivals? No. Am I still clinging on to that as a large part of Liz’s character? ABSOLUTELY.)

Julius is on trial for Memo 618 reasons; Diane is defending him. So this is still happening. (There’s more old footage here.)  

Do they put these references to one/two party consent in these episodes as a wink at the fans? It has to be intentional. (Please do not ask me what the actual law is on this, this show has thoroughly confused me.)  

I knew Cush was filming stuff for TGF, but I didn’t know it was for the premiere. She was just posting about it a few weeks ago, so either they shot a lot of it right before air or she posted a while after filming. Anyway, yay Lucca!  

Bianca’s still around. And, TGF gets to shoot New York for New York, since Bianca is there. I do wish TGF could do more location shoots; there’s something about seeing an actual skyline that feels more real.  

Bianca wants Lucca, who has never been outside of the country (except to St. Lucia, as Bianca reminds her) to go to London and buy her a resort. It’s supposed to be a three week stay and Bianca’s already arranged childcare. Speaking of children, because of COVID and filming constraints, that’s Cush’s real kid in this scene! You can’t really see him, but I recognized his curly hair from Cush’s Instagram, and the Kings confirmed in an interview.  

Adrian wants to write a book about police brutality cases he’s worked on. Ruth very much does not want him to write that book. She wants him to write a book without substance about how white people and black people can work together. He, understandably, has no interest in writing this book. (Also, you can see in the background that Ruth doesn’t think Biden’s odds of winning the Democratic primary are good—there is a big down arrow next to his picture, which definitely dates this scene.)

Oh, David Lee is in this episode. He acts like an asshole towards Marissa when she’s trying to help him.  

Marissa, not happy with the lack of respect, calls Lucca for advice “for a friend.” Lucca mentions she’s in London and Marissa does not believe her and keeps going on and on about her frustrations and her new desire to become a lawyer—quickly.  

Marissa wanting to become a lawyer because she “hates being talked down to” is not a plot I would’ve expected but it’s also one that makes a lot of sense. I think Marissa’s used to being respected and praised even when she’s doing things that aren’t glamorous, so I see how she’d get very restless when she’s no longer outperforming expectations and is instead taken for granted.  

Bells toll in the background on Lucca’s side and Marissa asks where she is. Lucca again notes she’s in London and Marissa still doesn’t believe her.

I’m going to miss Lucca so much, especially since we’ll also be losing a lot of the Millennial Friendship scenes with her. Cush is fantastic (even if she never really got enough to do here) and she plays so well off of the rest of the cast. I even sometimes liked the writing for Maia (who?) when she had scenes with Lucca, Lucca is that good.  

Jay wakes up sweating and unable to breathe, so he deliriously calls his father-figure Adrian. This whole scene is shot like something out of Evil and (I’m getting ahead of myself here) this plot is the only thing about this episode I felt was a misstep.  

“I think you’re my father,” Jay says to Adrian. Heh, I didn’t catch this line the first time around (maybe subliminally I did, since I just called Adrian his father figure lol) but I love that it is included here. Adrian and Jay’s relationship definitely deserves a goodbye.

Adrian calls an ambulance and also gets to Jay before the ambulance somehow. Adrian notes that Jay might have “this thing from China” and... we’re doing the pandemic, y’all. (Minor nitpick: on March 13th, 2020, when this scene is dated, COVID was not “this thing from China”-- we were all aware of it. March 11th was the day Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson announced they’d tested positive and the NBA shut down and travel was restricted and every single brand that had my email sent me a message about their plans and measures. March 12th was the last time I was in my office, and we’d been getting emails telling us to wash our hands and prepare to work remotely for weeks. I went to San Francisco in mid-late February and distinctly remember deciding to leave a burrito unattended on a table while I washed my hands because I was paranoid about COVID... and then I remember making a specific trip to Walgreens to buy hand sanitizer so that didn’t happen again. My point is, Adrian lives in the same world I do. On March 13th 2020, he would not be treating COVID like it was some new thing he’d vaguely heard of.)  

(I am going to nitpick this timeline, but please know that I’m only doing it because I can, not because I think it’s necessarily a bad choice. Lines like this do feel a little forced, but I see the reason for introducing COVID as something new rather than going for the line that’s exactly historically accurate. I also am pretty sure there are references to dates in March/April in s4 of TGF that are now going to be contradicted by this episode, but I truly do not care. The writers get a pass on this one.)  

We skip slightly back in time to the beginning of March after the MARCH 13TH title card, or maybe this is supposed to be after March 13th and my own memories are preventing me from believing these face-to-face interactions were happening. Who knows.

Michael Bloomberg is... here, again, I guess? He asks Diane to assist with a Supreme Court case about gun control. I guess it does add some weight to the plot and make the stakes feel higher.  

Oh hey, this case is the 7x17 case!!!! Love that continuity.  

Diane and Adrian are both at the office late, working, and there is an unnecessary split screen that feels even more unnecessary when you consider that the editing alone was enough to create the parallel.  

Diane and Adrian have a nice convo (which I’ll really miss, their dynamic is great and this really feels like a successful partnership) as they wait for the elevator. When the elevator dings, they nearly tumble down into nothingness because... the elevator never came. Apparently this is a reference to an law old show I’ve never seen that killed off a character this way, and it’s meant to be a wink at how they are not going to kill off Adrian.

I do not know why I remember this, but I do: after they killed off Will, a critic (Noel Murray; I just googled to confirm my memory) who didn’t want to spoil things tweeted, “Exactly 23 years and 2 days ago, Rosalind Shays fell down an elevator shaft.” Please tell me why I remember this reference that I didn’t even understand well enough to have tracked down the original tweet in under a minute. (https://twitter.com/NoelMu/status/447942456827326464)  

Back on this show, Diane and Adrian share a drink and talk about their wishes. Diane wants to argue in front of the Supreme Court, and Adrian encourages her to speak up. His own near-death experience motivates him to trash the book Ruth has him writing, and Diane trashes the (bad) legal strategy someone else prepared for the Supreme Court.

DIANE IS WEARING JEANS!!!!!! Tbh, I think my favorite part of this episode is how many slice-of-life scenes and settings we get. These are always my favorite moments. I love the satirical and political stuff too, but the character moments are what get me invested enough to write these. (Yes, Diane in jeans constitutes a character moment.)  

Diane tells Bloomberg she wants to be involved and advocates for herself. Kurt gets a call on their landline (hahaha) from Adrian.

God, I love Diane and Kurt. Not only is their banter fun, you can just see a different, more relaxed side of Diane in these scenes. Diane tells Kurt she has good news for herself, but bad news for him since she’s arguing for gun control. She asks him to help her prep for court, too.  

So this is before Jay is rushed to the hospital, because now we are back at the hospital with Julius, Diane, and Marissa. I do not believe any of these people would be setting foot in a hospital like it’s any other day on March 13th, 2020. But I'm trying not to nitpick.

I get why they chose to give Jay a rather severe case of COVID. I just don’t get literally anything else that follows from the initial shock of Jay having COVID.  

I see why the writers chose March 20th (the actual Illinois stay at home order) as the next date for this timeline. I still do not believe that people were in this particular office on that date.  

You know what else I don’t believe? That RBL just shut down for two weeks and was like, no work is being done. Did law firms really do this? I can believe it if it’s an excuse to cost-cut, and I know there were massive layoffs, but this seems... really weird???  

Why are they setting up a teleconferencing infrastructure (didn’t they have one at LG? In season five?) if they are not planning to do work?  

Lol Diane explains what Zoom is, very slowly. She asks everyone to “download a program called Zoom.com” which is one of the first Zoom jokes I’ve chuckled at in a while.  

Marissa is not happy to hear that there’s no work for her in a work-remote world (this I believe 100%), so she calls Lucca again with more questions about law school.

Love these NYC and London location shots. Wish they could do that for Chicago.

Lucca asks Bianca to help get Marissa into a law school, fast, and Bianca tells Lucca to use her name... then offers her a job.

Marissa is at the office, alone, boxing up her things, when one of the office phones rings with some dude offering her a spot in a law school class. I guess we are really all-in on this! (Why would Lucca have given a firm phone number not specific to Marissa, though?)

Adrian and his corrupt girlfriend decide to shelter in place together. I still do not understand why he is okay with her being corrupt. I also don’t really understand why they’re going from talking about sheltering-in-place to George Floyd. How did we just skip from late March to late May? Are Adrian and corrupt gf having a conversation about sheltering-in-place two months into sheltering in place?  

Okay, I am not doing so good at this no-nitpicking thing. Again, I understand why they need to merge several scenes into one to keep things moving. And I guess they could just be getting around to this conversation.

I’m going to nitpick again, I can’t help myself. How did we just go from a scene of Adrian specifically talking about sheltering in place to a scene of Adrian bursting into a bustling and maskless DNC headquarters room? How!? The only masks in this scene are on TV!! There are like ten people in this scene!  

Anyway, more importantly, Adrian tells Ruth off and screams at her that she needs to listen to him instead of acting like she knows the way forward. He is completely right.  

Why is travel from London closing down in May 2020? Is it because this scene is supposed to be at a different place in the episode? Liz is asking Lucca to come back home from her three week stay in London (which has now lasted three months but travel is just now closing down), and Lucca’s hesitant to come home.

This is all happening via Zoom, btw. Lucca’s in her hotel, Diane and Adrian are at their respective homes, and Liz is in the office. All of this feels right. There is a chat off to the side of the screen where you can see Adrian and the others discussing how to unmute on Zoom. Very real. Though probably not very real in late May 2020. Feels more like April. I am convinced this scene got spliced in later to help the episode flow because everything in this scene (except the TV footage that definitely was added later) feels like it should be happening in the March section.  

Lucca mentions that Bianca offered her a job, and at this point we as viewers know how things are going to go—Lucca's going to end up taking it. Liz types in the Zoom chat that they don’t want to lose Lucca. When Lucca tells them how much Bianca’s offering ($500k/year, go Lucca!), Diane types “Shit.” into the chat. “Shit’s right,” Liz replies. “Yes... What should our counter be?” Diane replies. Lucca is kind enough to point out the messages are not private (again, this feels like March not May) but I think knowing that their reaction to topping $500k is “shit” tells her all she needs to know.  

Diane’s background still says that RBL is a division of STR Laurie. Weird how little we are hearing about the overlords except the 20% staff cut.  

Liz and Adrian chat and decide the only way to keep Lucca is to make her a partner. Which, yeah, if you’d just made her a partner years ago when you told her she was in the running for partner and then offered it to fucking MAIA, maybe she wouldn’t be considering Bianca’s offer. Lucca is definitely one of RBL’s stars, and I don’t think she’s wrong to feel like they don’t value her enough. They treat her well enough to be upset about losing her, but not well enough to have already made her partner and not well enough to actually give her authority (even though she runs a whole department). I’d be pretty unhappy too. It kind of feels sometimes like they take her for granted, and I don’t know that Lucca is one to feel like she owes a company anything. She’s more of an “I’m out for myself” type.  

Madeline and the other partner we’ve seen a few times who isn’t Liz/Diane/Adrian, walk into the office (wearing masks! Which they take off as soon as they enter a room with Liz! Without asking her if she is okay with this! TV logic!) and ask who is replacing Adrian. They think this is a good time to reevaluate having a white name partner of an African American firm, and they are spot on. Liz tries to deflect, noting that Diane is already a name partner and was before Liz even joined, but Madeline and other partner (whose name I really wish they would say so I can stop calling him “other partner”) won’t let up. Their position is that Diane shouldn’t have been made a name partner then—all she did was bring in ChumHum, an account that quickly left the firm. Good point.  

“What is this firm if it’s not African American? It’s just another midsized all-service Midwestern law firm, one of 50,” Madeline argues. The other partner says Liz needs to remove Diane and promote two African Americans to name partner. Liz laughs and asks if they mean themselves. Madeline does not—she's concerned about the number of black associates they’re letting go. Liz heads out, but this conversation is very much ongoing.

And I think it’s a very interesting dilemma! There’s a lot of mileage the writers can get out of this, because I don’t think there’s a right answer or a wrong one. It’s all about what Liz decides she wants the future of the firm to be. If Liz chooses Diane, she might be choosing something that works for her personally or that she thinks is a safer financial bet—but she’ll be choosing to work at a firm that can no longer be thought of as a black firm, and she’ll be choosing to move away from her father’s vision for the firm. And since the plot hinges on what Liz will decide rather than what’s objectively the right path forward, there’s a lot of interesting tension there I can’t wait to see.  

(My favorite thing about Adrian leaving is that Liz will likely get more to do, especially when it comes to managing the firm. Adrian tends to speak up first, but Liz is more than capable of managing without him and I’m so excited to see what she does when her ex-husband isn’t constantly talking over her.)  

Marissa and Lucca video chat with Jay. He’s still in the hospital. One thing that bugs me about how this episode handles COVID is that I never really get the sense that any of the characters are particularly afraid of the virus. Maybe none of them were. But you’d think you’d see a little of that fear, the weird dance of trying to assess others’ comfort levels with masking, etc., in an ep specifically about living through this time. ESPECIALLY since someone they all know and are close to has been hospitalized for MONTHS with this thing! It’s just so weird to go from a scene where people wear masks until they come in contact with other people (when masks matter the most) to a scene of someone in the hospital with COVID.  

And now Jay’s weird hallucinations start as his battery dies on the video chat. I really, truly, hated these hallucinations. I was ready to be done with these from the second they started. They’re weirdly shot, they go on for too long, and they feel like the clunkiest parts of Mind’s Eye when Alicia starts having a debate in her mind about atheism mixed with the (far superior) hospital episode of Evil.  

I don’t have much to say about these hallucinations except that I hated them a lot. When there’s the reveal that Jay is hallucinating a commerical, I almost came around on the hallucinations because that’s kind of funny and inspired. And then several more hallucinations popped up and they had a round table and Jesus got added to the mix and I was like, nope, this is bad in a very uninteresting way. I reject this.  

I feel like the Kings didn’t have much to say about COVID, the actual virus. This episode is definitely more about what the characters’ lives were like during COVID and not the pandemic itself. I think they likely got a lot of their COVID commentary out of their system with their zombie COVID show The Bite (I have not seen The Bite due to it airing on Spectrum On Demand, which I have no way of accessing. Like, I would have to move and then decide to pay for cable in order to watch it.) I also suspect a lot of their commentary on COVID isn’t going to be specific to the virus and is instead going to be about things like mask-wearing and vaccinations becoming political. And, really, that’s just a new variation on talking about polarization... and they’ve been talking about polarization for years.

In fact, they even wrote a whole series about an outbreak of a (space-bug-spread) virus that caused political polarization before Trump was even elected. BrainDead is basically commentary on the pandemic before the pandemic even happened. Soooooo I get why they are more interested in recapping 2020 than in doing a Very Special Episode about themes they’ve been talking about for years. (I still think they would’ve benefitted from at least one character being afraid of getting sick or getting their family sick.)  

There is likely some interesting content in these Jay hallucinations. I hate them so much I cannot find it. You know when you’re just on a completely different wavelength than the writers? This is an example of that.  

Also I’m not a fan of the shadowy directing. I think this is meant to look cooler than it does.  

Have I mentioned yet that I absolutely love the “Previously On” device for this episode? It’s such a fun, propulsive way to get through the slog of 2020. Scenes can be short and to the point, and each scene has to do a lot of lifting to fill in the gaps. I think that leads to scenes that are better constructed and telling on lots of levels—where are people when they’re quarantined? Who’s wearing casual clothes and when? What about this scene defines this character’s life at that moment in time?  

Bizarrely, even though this episode is pretty much all plot (this happens! Then that!), I actually found this to be one of the most character-driven episodes TGF has ever done. There’s a lot of story, but most of that story is about how the characters reacted to 2020 rather than overarching plots that will weigh on the rest of the season. This episode covers a lot of ground, but it does it with character moments that resonate.  

Now it’s July and Diane’s prepping to argue in front of the Supreme Court. Kurt’s helping her witness prep and it gets a little personal... and that ends up turning Diane on. Good to see McHart hasn’t lost its spark. (Remember how Kurt cheated on Diane in season 7 of Wife? No, me neither, because that never happened.)  

Corrupt judge is back. Adrian playfully tries to distract her from work. Then he takes a video call from Liz, who updates him on the conversation she had with John (so that’s his name) and Madeline. I guess that part of May was close to July? Anyway, Adrian isn’t surprised to hear that people are upset at the prospect of Diane being one of two name partners.  

Liz is at the office in workout clothes and I love it!

They’re losing 15 black associates (and Adrian and Lucca) and 4 white ones, Liz says. This sounds like a very big problem. (I’d be curious to know what that is as a percentage of the firm and how the racial composition shifts.)

Liz knows it’s not exactly up to her if Diane stays on as name partner (the other partners get a vote, but I think Liz knows she has a lot of sway here). She’s also wondering if Biden could win, and if so, would it be to the firm’s advantage to be black-owned? Interesting.  

“Well. If you’re thinking it, then Diane’s thinking it, too,” Adrian says. He’s right. “White guilt. It runs verrrrry deep on that one, huh?” Ha. He is right about that, too. I actually can’t decide which of these interpretations is correct, because it could be either even though they seem contradictory. (1) Is Adrian saying it with a hint of mockery because he knows Diane will fight for her partnership even as she would say she’s a huge supporter of black businesses? (2) Is he saying it because he knows Diane would have enough white guilt to realize what her presence as a partner means and think through the implications? I think it is, somehow, a combination. I’m interested in this line because this whole dilemma (from Diane’s POV) is something that’s very familiar. Diane’s always been an idealist who will betray her ideals for personal gain. That sounds like an attack, but I mean that as neutrally as I possibly can. There are so many examples of this that this is kind of just a character trait of hers at this point. Usually those ideals are about feminism, but this situation seems closely related.  

Adrian overhears Corrupt GF talking about Julius, Diane, and Memo 618. You would think she would wait to have this conversation until there is no chance of Adrian overhearing, because if Adrian overhears, he might...

... do exactly what he proceeds to do and hop into a car with Diane to give her a heads up. (I think I’m just going to have to accept that the mask usage rule on this episode is “we use masks to show that the characters would wear them, but we don’t want to have scenes where characters are fully masked because that’s annoying.” If that’s not the rule, then why else would Adrian be masked outside... and then take off his mask as soon as he gets into a confined indoor space with Diane?  

Baranski looks ESPECIALLY like Taylor Swift in this scene.  

Adrian tells Diane what he knows. He dug deeper after overhearing Charlotte, so he has even more info. “If you tell me, I will use it,” Diane warns. Adrian knows that, so he takes a moment to decide. And he decides that he cares more about Diane and Julius than about his relationship with a corrupt judge.  

Diane and Julius are masked in court. Visitor and the judge are not. They use masking in a clever way in this scene: Diane uses being masked to her advantage because it means no one can possibly read her lips, so she can use the info Adrian fed her against Charlotte without any fear of spies. Charlotte, who is unmasked, guards her lips with a folder, as the Visitor watches interestedly.  

Diane convinces Charlotte to recuse herself. Charlotte says she’s making a mistake; Diane does not care.  

The new judge is, unfortunately, the idiot who doesn’t know anything about the law. Uh oh.

Charlotte decides she’s done sheltering in place with Adrian. He tries to talk through the conflict, but Charlotte says “You made your choice, Adrian. Julius Cain over me.”

“The choice was about right and wrong, Charlotte,” Adrian tries to explain. I mean, yeah, but if you’re dating a judge who has admitted she’s totally corrupt, didn’t right and wrong go out the window a while ago?

Adrian seems to think the other people involved in the events are bad and Charlotte is good. I am not convinced. I don’t think she’s the big bad, but I don’t think she’s good.  

Charlotte points out that he invaded her privacy. She is right about that. “You said the choice was between right and wrong. Turning over my emails was the choice,” she said. I get her POV. But also, she is corrupt.  

I do not like the way the part of the scene where Adrian physically restrains Charlotte to keep her from leaving is shot. I don’t think this is an abusive scene but I think it should’ve been shot from a little farther back so we could see it’s more like Adrian reaching out in desperation than trying to choke Charlotte. Because it very much looks like he is trying to choke Charlotte.  

He tells Charlotte he loves her. She says it’s too late and leaves. “Maybe you won’t be with me. But you keep down this path... you’ll be done, I’m telling you, you’ll be done.”

I think something that I’ve been missing in these interactions is that I didn’t quite realize until this scene that the Adrian/Charlotte dynamic is more interesting than Adrian liking a corrupt judge. I think he truly believes Charlotte is a good person who got caught up in some bad stuff, and that she can bounce back from it. I’ve always seen Charlotte as someone who is corrupt for herself and then ended up going along with the corruption of others, too, so I’ve dismissed her and the relationship. This is the first scene that has felt real to me, and the first scene where she’s felt like more than a caricature. Kind of sad it’s the last she’ll get with Adrian—now I’m actually starting to find her interesting. Notice how in these last few sentences I’ve used her name instead of “Corrupt GF”!  

Charlotte says she loved Adrian too, but that’s not enough. Awww.

He can’t really be surprised though, can he?  

Now it is August and we get to see Diane and Liz react to the announcement of Kamala Harris as Biden’s VP pick, and I would like to thank the writers for giving me the opportunity to see Diane and Liz react to this. It’s kind of fan-service, but it’s also a nice tie-in to the girl-power theme of the Diane/Liz alliance.

Diane and Liz realize that Adrian’s probably not a good candidate for 2024 if the DNC only wants one black candidate and Harris is the clear front-runner. Liz suggests keeping him on as partner instead, in a way that very much implies this would be her ideal solution. Diane, being Diane, says she was liking the idea of an all-female firm. Liz hesitantly says she was too, and Diane senses the hesitation.

“Let’s look again at which associates to fire. I’m worried we’re losing too many African Americans,” Diane switches the subject. How have they still not made this decision? If any employees know downsizing is coming, and they’ve had months to act on it, assuming there are jobs elsewhere, people would’ve been jumping ship by now.  

But that’s not the point of this scene. The point of this scene is that Liz corrects Diane: “Black. You can just say Black people.” Very nice moment underlining the tension. Diane means well, but she’s still acting like a white lady who doesn’t know how to act around black people... and she wants to (and, I guess, already does) run a black firm. Major yikes.  

Marissa and Lucca are talking again. Marissa does not want to be in law school—she just wants to be a lawyer. Lucca won’t accept Marissa’s refusal to memorize meaningless rules: “Marissa. I know that you know how to play the game, but you have to pass the bar to get into a position to play the game.” Why does this line make me love Lucca? This line isn’t even anything amazing. It’s just a line that cuts through the bullshit and makes a good point.  

Marissa keeps going, insulting all of her peers and teachers, and Lucca figures out how to cut through that, too: she tells Marissa that she’d hire her as a lawyer if she killed someone, but only if Marissa passes the bar. Marissa is instantly intrigued.  

“Why are you leaving here? I’ll miss you,” Marissa says.  

“Because they won’t pay me what I deserve,” Lucca says in a matter-of-fact tone. “Anyway, I thought they fired you.”  

“But they didn’t mean it. It’s like the smoothie place—they kept trying to fire me and I just kept showing up,” Marissa replies. That checks out. (Love the callback!)  

Lucca tries to get Marissa to come over to England. Marissa shuts that down as Lucca gets a news alert—and it’s not good news.  

Our next date is September 18th, 2020 and I will get my nitpicks out of the way up front! I don’t really know why it is daytime for Lucca when she reads the news, considering it was already the evening in the States when the RBG news broke. And, also, it was Rosh Hashanah, so Marissa probably would not have been sitting in her bedroom studying... she most likely would’ve been with family or friends. OK I’M DONE. FOR NOW.  

Diane is getting ready for her arguments in front of the Supreme Court. It’s almost time! She’s in casual clothes but has on a wonderful mask. She’s standing in front of Kurt’s guns to make a point (love that she’s using her video call background to her advantage) and there are several people in her bedroom getting the tech all set up. I have noted before that they only built one set for Diane’s apartment, and it’s just a massive bedroom. Diane choosing to be in front of the guns does a nice job of cutting off my question about why she’d be arguing in front of the Supreme Court from her bedroom rather than the home office she absolutely would have.  

Kurt walks in and tries to shake hands... he’s clearly not very COVID paranoid, and Diane seems to be, and... that’s something I might have wanted to see? How was Diane okay with Kurt taking risks that also affected her?

Diane confirms she intentionally chose to stand in front of the guns. That’s when Kurt gets the push notification. He pulls Diane into the bathroom to show her the news. He hands her his phone and Diane’s face falls. She starts tearing up. “2020 just won’t let go,” she says, speaking for us all.

Normally I hate things that are like, we’re going to contrive this so the news hits at the worst possible moment! This works for me, because the Supreme Court plot for Diane feels more like something that exists to be a through line for the episode. It would also be a little hard to work in RBG’s death as a main plot point—and it is definitely important enough to be a main plotpoint—if it didn’t also affect something in the world of the show.  

Also, another reason I like this contrivance is that it makes it all the more powerful when Diane says, “It’s over. He gets to nominate someone. Another Kavanaugh! We’ll have a conservative court for the next 20 years. My whole fucking life!” She’s not thinking about how this affects her case (and that case is basically a life-long dream for her). She is thinking about way bigger things, and knowing that her mind goes to the bigger things before the personal with news like this really underlines how big of a deal RBG’s death was.  

Diane tells Kurt, “I don’t deserve you. You don’t agree with me.” “I can still feel bad for you,” he responds. He holds her while she cries.

Jay’s hallucination thing is back. Now Karl Marx is here. So is Jesus. I’m so done with this. It’s nice to get a break from writing.

Malcolm X is also on the roundtable and now they’re talking over each other in that way that everyone on this show always does. (RK gave an interview about Evil where he said he likes having the children on that show talk over each other because he grew up in a household like that. I did not need to read that interview to understand that RK likes scenes where people talk over each other.)  

If anything happened in those hallucinations, I missed it, because I didn’t pause the episode. Because I do not care about the hallucinations. Because I hate them.

Now it’s November 2020... Diane’s watching election results and rocking back and forth. She tells Kurt he can go watch Fox News in the other room (so they do have more than one room!). He says he’s fine—he thinks Diane needs it more.  

“Yes, but Kurt, if you stay, I know this isn’t sensible, but... Trump seems to get more votes whenever you’re sitting on this couch,” Diane tells him. Ha, I relate to this kind of superstition so hard. “Are you serious?” Kurt says. “I am so deathly serious,” Diane responds. “Whenever you’re sitting here, Arizona goes for Trump. Humor me, please. Just go in the other room.”  

When Kurt tries to kiss her, she pulls away: “No, no, no. No kiss. If you kiss me, we’ll lose Georgia.” This scene feels so, so real and perfectly captures what it was like (at least for me, though I don’t have a Republican husband or anything) watching election results come in.  

“Uh, if you lose, we’ll be fine, right?” Kurt asks. “Kurt, let me just say this. I’m only saying that we won’t be fine so that the universe will grant me a win,” Diane responds. This scene is so fun and so good! It simultaneously captures a relatable mood, adds some levity, gives us a window into Diane’s life, and shows some of the tensions in her marriage?! I want this all the time!  

Kurt leaves the room. Diane pours more wine.

Later, with Diane still rocking back and forth with anxiety (just you wait for the several more days this will drag on!), Kurt brings in the champagne. “That was for when Hillary won. I can only drink it if Biden wins,” Diane protests. Did I also refuse to drink any celebratory alcohol until things were absolutely certain? No comment.  

“It’s odd you progressives resisted religion. You seem to have a hundred religions to take its place,” Kurt says, speaking on behalf of the writers’ room. (This joke doesn’t get written if the writers don’t believe this and probably even see it in themselves.)  

“Go away, Trump. I mean Kurt,” she shoos him away. Have I mentioned yet I love this scene?  

“Love me even if you lose?” he jokes (though I do wonder if this isn’t that joking? I think it is, but he keeps saying it!) as Diane gestures at him to get out.  

I could do without the joke about Diane’s heart on the TV for a couple reasons. One, it goes on too long. Two, I was very worried something would actually happen to Diane. You’d think that would make the scene feel more tense, but it does not, because it takes me out of the moment.

“Ok, God. You know I don’t believe in you. But I will believe in you if Joe Biden wins. I’m sorry. I know that that’s not what Jesus taught. There’s nothing in the New Testament that says, ‘Believe in me, and I’ll make sure your candidate wins,’ but I need Joe Biden to win. I’m sorry, God, but I just do. I need some faith.” This is a little much but... yeah. Also, is this the first time Diane’s flat out said she’s an atheist? I think it is, though I’ve assumed as much for quite a while.  

The next day in court, masks are no longer required if you’re a series regular and votes are still being counted. I remember those days. Marissa thought Diane was checking in on Jay... Diane was not. She was checking on vote counts.  

Apparently Jay’s finally being released from the hospital!

Bad news for Julius—the idiot judge finds him guilty of some nonsense charge and sentences him to seven years in prison.  

Diane says not to worry, and Julius asks “Why not?” Good point.

Then we have election results! We skip, specifically, to December 14th and the electoral college vote. I’m a little sad we skipped over the huge party that was November 7th, but I get why they’d rather keep things moving along. I think showing November 7th in an uncomplicated way would’ve just been too close to fanservice. But, man, what a day.  

Diane, in a red hoodie with leopard print that she somehow manages to still look classy in, is ready to pop champagne. Then she hears that on January 6th, a joint session of Congress will count the electoral votes and there might be a debate. “Nope. If I open it now, something bad will happen,” she reasons. “I’ve waited four years. I can wait another few weeks.”

It’s been almost a year and they’re still somehow negotiating with Lucca, but I understand why they’d space this out across the episode. Otherwise we’d have to say goodbye to Lucca in the first like, 15 mins of the episode and all those scenes would be in a row. I can forgive (and still nitpick) choices like this when the reasoning behind them seems sound.  

Adrian says they don’t want to lose Lucca. He, Liz, and Diane are all in the conference room, and they ask Lucca for a yes or no on their latest offer by the end of the call. Diane offers Lucca partner—she'll be the youngest partner in the firm’s history—and she’ll get a $500,000/year salary. Adrian tries to sell her on being part of American history by being part of the firm.

“We are a black firm, Lucca, and we need you,” Liz says with a lot of passion for someone who knows she might very well partner with Diane. Diane looks at Liz with a bit of suspicion at this, wondering if Liz is showing her cards.  

Lucca manages to make the wifi malfunction (or she gets very lucky) and uses the disconnection to call Bianca for a counteroffer, even though they said they needed a yes or no on the spot.  

“They used George Floyd because they want you for less. They have never appreciated you as much as I do. All those scars, all that time being taken for granted and undervalued has made you a fighter. It’s made you someone I now want,” Bianca tells Lucca. She gives Lucca a counter offer of $1.3 million and the title of CFO. Lucca takes it. Is there really another choice? (If she were concerned about loyalty to the firm and the partnership was what she wanted, she probably would've just taken it.)  

(Also, the partners can’t really act like Lucca is making history by being the youngest partner ever when they passed her over for partner two years earlier and offered it to Maia! To MAIA! Who had like three years of work experience! And yes I was fine with Alicia and Cary getting partnership offers with four years but, one, that was a scam, and two, Alicia and Cary actually worked. Oh, I see I still hate Maia with a passion. Back to THIS season...)

Lucca apologetically informs Marissa she’s leaving and the offer was just too good to turn down. I believe it. I also believe Lucca wants that job more. What has loyalty to RBL gotten her? She's someone so talented and good at her job that she just gets job offers from acquaintances all the time (starting with Alicia!). RBL appreciates her, but just enough to appease her while still undervaluing her. I don’t know that I would’ve believed a plot where Lucca actively job hunts, but I definitely believe this.

“Marissa, we don’t have to work together to be friends,” Lucca tells Marissa. I’m going to miss this so much. Why is this the best material Lucca’s gotten in ages?! I think one of the things that makes Lucca such a great character is that you can see why everyone instantly wants her on their team. She’s a fantastic friend (without giving too much of herself), she’s not a pushover, and she is incredibly sharp and able to get to the heart of any situation. I love her and I’m sad we won’t get to see more of her.  

(On that bit about friendship—I can’t write about Lucca’s departure without writing about the moment I realized just how great of a character Lucca was. It was in 7x13, when Alicia has her breakdown that’s seven seasons in the making... and Lucca supports her. But the writing, and Cush’s performance, never make it feel like Lucca exists to be a part of Alicia’s story. Lucca seems like her own fully formed person who happens to be supporting Alicia at this moment. I don’t think I can overstate how tough of a task it is to get me to care about the other person in a pivotal Alicia scene, especially when that other person was added to the cast in the final season and many suspected she’d just be a replacement for a different beloved character! Anyway, Lucca’s been great for years, and I’ll miss her.)  

Just when I thought I couldn’t hate the hallucinations more, we get a hint that they are going to continue: Jay sees one right after he learns that Marissa’s used her quarantine to start law school and he’s done nothing.  

Jay says he carries a gun now and it’s “performative.” I have no idea what that means and Marissa and Lucca don’t seem to, either.  

Another thing I like about Lucca’s final scene is that it isn’t rushed. We have time for all that, and also for Lucca to tell Marissa about the time she stole her breakfast sandwich, and for Marissa to react to it, and for Marissa to find Lucca’s Birkin bag, and for Lucca to tell Marissa to keep it, and for Marissa to react to that, and for Lucca to sappily say “think of me when you use it,” and for Marissa to nonsensically reply, “you think of me when I use it,” and there’s still a little bit more of the scene after that!  

Marissa’s silly line makes Lucca tear up. “God, I’m gonna miss you guys,” she says. “I’m gonna miss this. You make me smile. I didn’t smile much before you guys.” Awwwwwww. This is also so true to character! Her friendship with Alicia aside, Lucca’s definitely said before she’s not one to have friends (which is hilarious because she is, as I've said like 100 times, a fantastic friend and also just like, the coolest person??? Who wouldn’t want to be HER friend?!).  

She says she has to go because she’s getting too emotional and says goodbye. She’s also super sappy and when Marissa says, “you were the best,” she responds that they were the best TOGETHER! Awwwwwww.  

What a nice, fitting goodbye for Lucca. There’s no bad blood or fireworks—she just makes a change like a lot of people do. I’d like to think she’ll still be friends with Marissa and Jay after this. I don’t want too many Lucca references in future episodes, but I would really like it if we see Marissa and Jay update each other on the latest from Lucca, or if a scene begins with Marissa closing out an Instagram post from Lucca of her kid, or something. I wouldn’t want clues about what Lucca’s up to, but I’d love to see that she’s still a part of Marissa and Jay’s lives.

Now it is January 6th. Liz, Adrian, and Diane sit on the floor of the mostly empty office, watching TV coverage and drinking. It’s so relaxed it’s almost surreal, and it, like many other moments in this episode, feels like a slice of life. Everyone’s dressed casually and no one is worried about appearances or looking like the boss.  

“God, have you ever seen anything like it. It’s so fucked,” Diane says. Adrian’s more optimistic—the courts rejected most of the challenges to election results! “System worked,” he says. “Yay.” Liz says in response. She’s not as optimistic as he is.  

“Liz. Liz. Sometimes when things work out, there is no parade. There’s no congratulations, but I’ll tell you this: We live to fight another day,” he explains to her even though she makes a good point that a system just barely hanging on doesn’t bode well for the future. (She doesn’t say all this, but that’s a very loaded, “Yay.”)  

“Yeah? Then why are you leaving the law?” Liz asks. Diane seconds to the question.

Adrian announces he’s still retiring—and he’s moving to Atlanta. He wants to go to the south to help “create and consolidate political power.” He’s excited to start over and inspired by Georgia going blue. This is a very nice exit for Adrian. I fully believe that he’s interested in political organizing, that he’d be good at it, and that he’s ready for a change. I don’t think he’s always the most progressive person (of the three in this scene, Liz is absolutely the most progressive one, though Diane probably thinks she is!), but I absolutely think he thinks of himself as an activist and I believe that if he’s going to step away from the law, he’d do so to make a move like this.  

Adrian—and Lucca, but especially Adrian—probably both got better exits thanks to the events of 2020. If Adrian had just left to be groomed by the DNC, that would’ve been a predictable and boring ending for him. His candidacy would, obviously, go nowhere, and the whole thing felt weird from the minute it was introduced. But this? Adrian being energized—like so many others were—by the ways the world changed in 2020 and using his already announced departure from the firm and recent breakup as a chance to start over and make change? This is great!  

Adrian asks Liz and Diane what’s next for them. Liz says that she thinks the Biden admin will be better for black businesses. Adrian asks if they’re replacing him, and Diane says, “I think the big question is, are you replacing me?” She’s smart. I like how this scene goes from friendly to tense very fast, with everyone kind of testing the waters. Adrian tries to force the conversation, Liz opens with something vague yet pointed, and Diane speaks what’s previously been unspoken.

Liz says it’s not her intention to push Diane out. “I can’t change the color of my skin,” Diane replies. “I know,” Liz laughs. Audra’s delivery is fantastic on that line.  

“Hey, I’m gonna fight for my partnership,” Diane says. “I know,” Liz says. The tone of this scene is so different from previous partnership drama on these shows and I’m excited about it. This is just a bunch of adults talking about business decisions with each other and treating each other as equals?? It's not backstabbing?? Or drama?? No one is hiding things?? It’s refreshing and I hope this plot stays like this. We’ve done so much partnership drama that I think drama that stems from a real, pressing question that has no easy answers and isn’t anyone’s fault is going to be much more fruitful for the show.  

Adrian heads out—ah, I see now this scene is set in his empty office and this is why they are on the floor—and gets a nice last moment with Diane. And then they give him a last moment with Liz, which I knew they would but was still glad to see.  

Liz asks if he knows what he’s doing—he says he’s not sure.

Adrian asks if Liz knows where she stands regarding Diane. “It’s going to be interesting,” Liz says. I don’t think she’s decided what she’s going to do yet.

It wouldn’t be an Adrian and Liz scene if Adrian didn’t have some unsolicited advice. “Diane’s a terrific lawyer, but this firm belongs to you.  Your dad built it. He did, Liz. Despite all his faults. You got to run this place the way you want. This is a black firm. And after today, the world needs black firms. You got me?” He tells Liz. He makes it seem like Liz gets the choice and then tells her what to do. She says, “I got it,” signaling she understood him but not that she necessarily agrees.  

I cannot wait to see what Liz does next!!!!!!! About this but just in general!!!!! Without Adrian there giving her constant advice I feel like she can grow so much and the show will have to give her more to do!!! I think Adrian, for all his many wonderful qualities and all he brought to the show, can suck all the air out of a room with his charisma, and Liz usually ends up suffering as a result. She’s such a capable lawyer in her own right, but Adrian has a way of making it always seem like he’s right—even in arguments she wins. I’m excited to see Liz lead (or stumble at leadership; she is fairly new to management) without Adrian’s direct influence.  

Liz walks Adrian out and it’s cute. They run into Marissa and Jay. “Everybody fun is leaving,” Marissa notes. Liz is minorly offended, but playfully. Heh.

Adrian asks Jay how he’s doing; Jay says he’s a long-hauler but he’s doing okay. I like that they included that moment in Adrian’s goodbye sequence. It’s a very little thing, but it underlines that Adrian cares about Jay.  

Then Liz interrupts to note that Trump pardoned a lot of convicted and corrupt Republican officials....... including Julius.  

Everyone celebrates, but especially Diane and Marissa. Diane lets out her wonderful laugh and then we, finally, get to the credits. Because now that the previouslies are over, it’s time for the real show.

The credits are absolutely delightful, btw. I was a little worried some of the kittens would blow up, though! Once I relaxed and realized what they were up to—literal puppies and kittens because Biden won—I couldn’t get enough of these credits. They work so well because they accurately capture the way I (and all of these characters, except maybe Julius and Kurt) feel about the election results, but it’s so exaggerated that you know the kittens and puppies aren’t a realistic representation of our new reality. They’re just too good to be true, but you may as well enjoy them for a minute. I’m sure we’ll be back to exploding vases next week.

What a great episode! My timeline nitpicks and whatever they’re trying to do with Jay aside, I was blown away by how well the writers managed to move on from season 4, tie up loose ends, and write out two main characters. And they did it all while making me revisit the events of 2020, a year I don’t think many of us want to spend much time thinking about! This episode was enjoyable, fun, emotional, and clever. I don’t know what to expect from the rest of the season, but I’m definitely excited about the show in a way I haven’t really been in quite some time.  

This season’s naming convention seems to be titles that end with ... and only have the first word capitalized. I want to see more. 

Season FIVE? There have already been as many TGF seasons as there were TGW seasons prior to Hitting the Fan?! Time flies. 

Please writers: No topical episodes this year-- no pee tape, no Melania divorce, no Epstein. None of that business. 

Sorry if I repeated myself here. I never proofread these things, and I wrote half of this on Saturday and half of it today (Wednesday) and the days in between were an absolute blur so I cannot remember if I said the same things about this episode twice. 

[jenniferdiazisatransgirl]

My Journey

Hey everyone, As you will likely know by now I am a trans woman and I live in the UK where lately trans people have been under significant scrutiny by the press, government and groups claiming to be acting in the name of feminism.

One of the arguments used when not directly attacking trans people, is that the medical institutions that help us in the UK fast track us through transition, even the NHS and I know so many trans people in this country that I can say without a shadow of a doubt this is not true. This includes a significant number who have been under the care of Tavistock and Portman, the under 18s service which was recently banned from giving its patients hormone blockers without the approval of the courts.

But anyway, I’m gonna share my story and how lengthy the process actually is and I will warn ahead of time this deals with suicidal ideation, gatekeeping, mental health, etc. So proceed with caution. This will also be a long post.

September/October 2008

I can’t remember which month but it was just before my 16th birthday, my Dad encouraged me to go to my GP regarding my gender dysphoria. I lived with my transphobic Mum at the time and had to go behind her back which was terrifying to say the least. I saw a doctor called Dr Moulsher and explained everything I was going through and his response was, “I don’t think the NHS funds any of this.” He was very ignorant on trans issues but it actually fortunately worked out in my favour, I got lucky, I know, but he just wanted me off of his hands.

I explained in Sheffield there was a GIC (gender identity clinic) operated by the NHS known as Porterbrook and he was just like, “Oh right. Well I’m more than happy to refer you but they likely won’t see you till you are 18.”

He asked me some questions, wrote up a detailed report and put in the referral to “get the ball rolling” as he worded it.

I was terrified at the time of the referral letter going to my home address though and he was like, “Well it needs to be sent somewhere.” So he agreed to send it to my grandparents address.

Later That Year

About a month or so later a letter arrived at my grandparents saying I had been accepted onto Porterbrook’s waiting list, explaining it is substantially long, that they wouldn’t be able to see me till I’m 18, etc. Your typical boiler plate stuff. Also as I understand it they don’t typical accept referrals for under 18s so I got lucky there. I remember getting so excited when I got my letter though, that I took it into school to show all of my friends.

Back then it was a requirement that I have a mental health assessment while on the waiting list though. So I returned to Dr Moulsher who I had become rather comfortable with and had made him my regular GP. He made a referral to the local mental health clinic and that was that.

January/February 2009

A letter came in the post asking me to ring to book at appointment at the local mental health clinic. I couldn’t ring from home cos my Mum would overhear and she was spying on me a lot at the time due to really being against the fact I’m trans. My school - which was a Catholic school shockingly enough - had already decided my home environment had become so toxic that I needed removing from my Mum’s care. They would be a process that wouldn’t be completed till June 2010 but yeah, it had got that bad. Anyway, I ended up asking the school receptionist if I could ring on their phone to book the appointment. That was booked for February.

The appointment was a weird one to say the least. The doctor asked me a quite a lot of questions but these are the ones that stuck out.

So with this first one, I am going to preface with that as far as I am aware, I am white and of white ancestry for all the generations I know of. However I do have remarkably curly hair that left to its own devices grows into an afro (or at least what looks like an afro). So the first set of questions that stood out; Dr: What’s your mother’s ethnicity? Me: White British.

Dr: Sorry, did you say Afro-Caribbean? Me: No. White British. Dr: And your father’s ethnicity? Me: White British. Dr: Sorry, was that Afro-Caribbean?

Me: Nope. White British.

Not really sure how you can get Afro-Caribbean and White British verbally mixed up but he seemed very adamant at least one of my parents must be Afro-Caribbean.

He then later goes;

Dr: Do you have a partner?

Me: Yes.

Dr: Are they male or female?

Me: I have a girlfriend.

Dr: Then you can’t be trans. You can’t be trans if you like girls.

Me: What about lesbians?

Dr: That’s beside the point.

Shockingly, in the end he agreed with my GP’s assessment that I am trans but Jesus, as you can probably guess from above that mental health assessment was a minefield of weird.

24th October 2010

In June 2010, I was finally removed from my Mum’s care at the age of 17 and placed in supported housing and on the date about I got a phone call from Porterbrook GIC on my 18th birthday no less, inviting me to my first appointment in November.

22nd June 2012

I legally changed my name and title by deed poll to Miss Lily Nichole Robinson.

22nd October 2012

I’d now been at Porterbrook for almost 2 years, had lots of appointments, most of which repeated the same mundane questions and it had started to feel like nothing was ever going to change. I had become increasingly depressed and suicidal and I had decided that if nothing had changed by my 20th birthday I was going to take my own life. I did not want to enter my 20s still living my life as a man. I didn’t want to lose another year of my life.

I remember this date exactly, not because I marked it in my calendar but because Taylor Swift’s album “Red” came out that morning. Despite everything, I was dancing along to 22 that morning while ironing some clothes, before I headed off to Porterbrook. I didn’t really feel like it mattered, I was going to kill myself 2 days later but I figured what is the harm in going through the motions one last time.

I sat there, trying not to let on how miserable I was, didn’t see the point in letting them in on how I was feeling. Nothing would change.

I remember being asked some really gross questions that day though. I got asked if I masturbated and I just declined answering. When challenged I was just like, “I maybe trans and I may hate that equipment but I’m a human being. I still have sexual urges. What do you think the answer is.”

The appointment though, shockingly ended with them telling me they were going to put me on hormones. I was gonna get my estrogen. It was enough to give me a reason to keep on living.

But just bare in mind how close I got to taking my own life there. 2 days away from my 20th birthday. Also it took almost 2 years for them to say they’d be placing me on hormones.

January/February 2013

In January, I had my bloods taken to get a baseline and I was told about options for storing gametes. I did decide to consider this but in the end it ended up being too costly for me at the time. So in February, on a day it was snowing I got the train and was adamant the snow was not stopping me getting to Porterbrook and I had an appointment with the head clinician, Dr Kevin Wylie.

He oddly listed all the testosterone blocker options to me with side effects and risks and all the estradiol options to me with side effects and risks. In the end I chose Cyproterone Acetate for my blocker and Estradiol Valerate pills for my hormones.

50mg per day of Cyproterone Acetate and 2mg per day of Estradiol Valerate. I was ecstatic and took them both the second I got on the bus 😊

May 2013

Slightly unrelated to the medical process but just 3 months in and my mental health had improved drastically. Since I was removed from my Mum’s care I had become a bit of a shut in. I didn’t have any friends, my anxiety was through the roof, I was insanely depressed and I just avoided everything and everyone, only leaving my house for work. Hormones changed that though, I just felt so much happier and I also remember that Spring just being like really vividly aware of the colours of all the flowers and plant life for like the first time in my life. I actually wanted to go out and social and make friends and there was a local LGBT youth group for 18-25 year olds that I decided to join and I started to have and social life again. And by September 2013 I started university and soon came getting drunk with the LGBT Liberation Group at the various socials. I was happy and finally starting to feel like myself.

2013 - 2016

Porterbrook became very gatekeepy in the final stage of my transition. They didn’t like how I dressed. Apparently girls wear dresses while I preferred jeans, t-shirts and hoodies. I didn’t like wearing make-up. I wasn’t the 1950s image of a girl that Porterbrook seemed to expect. I actually have a trans guy friend who around the same time had been told he couldn’t start on testosterone unless he cut his hair short, cos apparently men don’t have long hair.

It pissed me off to no end because I transitioned to be me, not to be a performance of how the world thinks a woman should be. I refused to give ground on how I dressed, etc but in the end I ended up telling a few white lies to get past the final level of gatekeeping. And I can’t remember most of this dates as they happened while uni was going on in the background. But eventually Porterbrook gave me the go ahead for surgery, about 6 months later I had my second opinion and then I was referred for surgery.

January 2016

I had my pre-surgery assessment at Nuffield Health Brighton and I was told if I wanted I could have my surgery as early as March 2016. Due to university though, this proved a bit too soon and the date was pushed to June 2016.

22nd June 2016

The day before the EU Referendum I had my gender reassignment surgery. I don’t actually remember feeling all that ecstatic after the surgery. There was lot of pain and I was on a lot of drugs. But a friend, Rosie, who I hadn’t seen since high school lived in the area and she was at my bedside when I woke up. I was in hospital a week and had 3 months of recovery ahead of me.

Post Surgery 2016

Having surgery had been great, things finally felt right. My entire body felt right for once but I had tunnel visioned my life towards surgery and put a lot of stuff on the back burner and had some major post-surgery depression so I sort counselling at my university to get through these issues and once that was sorted I felt a lot more stable in myself and like nothing was in my way.

October 2016

I put in my application for my Gender Recognition Certificate only for it to get rejected because they did not like the assessment from Porterbrook GIC and Dr Wylie who wrote the assessments was off on leave. Me and a nurse had to sit down and look through my medical record to find a medical report they might accept and we finally found one. However they wouldn’t say what was wrong with the original which made Porterbrook kinda stumped on what was wrong.

February 2017

I received my Gender Recognition Certificate and my new Birth Certificate.

March 2017

I was discharged from Porterbrook GIC.

For those who are under the impression gender reassignment is a fast process it isn’t, it took me 8 years and 6 months start to finish, from initially seeing my GP at 15 to finally being discharged from Porterbrook GIC at the age of 24. It is a long ass process with a shit tone of gatekeeping and honestly going through the process as it stands isn’t something I’d wish on my worst enemy. When I was discharged from Porterbrook GIC in 2017 my first thought was, “I’m free. I’m finally in control of my own life.” As up until that point, I felt I had no autonomy and that my life and happiness was in the hands of doctors. It was miserable.

But there it is.

[kellerose]

Barbara Kruger: the Conceptual Art that Criticized Society

Barbara Kruger is an American conceptual artist born on January 26, 1945, in Newark, New Jersey. Her works were relative to the early products she made as a graphic designer. Kruger was known for the boldness of her words that overlaid black-and-white photographs from multi-media material, such as magazines. Kruger used short and directive slogans to portray simplistic, yet unforgettable pieces of visual media. 

The words and phrases in her pieces are usually directed towards the stereotypes and behaviors of consumerism. As an anti-consumerist herself, she took it as an opportunity for her to express the ridiculous behaviors that were spreading throughout society. Kruger also displays a sense of feminism in her works as a way to highlight the difficulties that women have to go through in the same society she constantly critiques. I shop, therefore I am (1987) and Your body is a battleground (1985) are some of her most memorable pieces that portray her message quite clearly.

You would be able to see her work displayed on billboards, t-shirts, posters, and even chess boards. The now 76-year-old New York and Los Angeles artist can now see her art displayed in places such as The Museum of Modern Art in New York, the National Gallery of Art in Washington, D.C., the Art Institute of Chicago, and the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis, to name a few. 

source: https://www.thebroad.org/art/barbara-kruger/untitled-your-body-battleground 

As I did more digging, the work above entitled Your body is a battleground was created in 1989 to be an image used for the Women’s March in Washington. In the image above, you can see a woman staring straight ahead with a vertical line cutting her face in half; the left side shows a positive filter while the right side is a negative filter. The use of positive and negative lighting could contribute to the idea of a battleground, as used in the bolded, red-accented words displaying over the picture. The battleground in this case is talking about the debate of the issue between a women’s right to choose. 

When looking at this image from a cognitive perspective, it wasn’t hard to recognize that her main courses of appeal in the artwork was with memory, culture, and words. She is appealing to the issues plaguing her society about Women’s rights. The history behind this image will surely make the piece more memorable. That goes the same with the cultural impacts that had created this work. How the people were reacting and behaving to this kind of issue impacted how this piece was created. Kruger’s use of bolded and Futura Bold Oblique words brought it all together. Without the strictly and aggressive phrase of “Your body is a battleground” some people may not have known what the image stood behind. The phrase is split from top, middle, and bottom of the picture to emphasize the seriousness of the phrase. It gives off something similar to this: “Your body. Is a. Battleground.” The sense of pausing in-between the words of the phrase really sets the tone of the overall image.

source: https://alexkershawmajournal.wordpress.com/category/testing-boundaries/page/2/

A Barbara Kruger image that was just as memorable and popular as Your body is a battleground, is the 1987’s I shop therefore I am. This piece is a personal favorite of mine out of all of the images I have seen. Although all of her pieces were so intriguing to learn about, I felt this one was the most interesting. In this image you can see a hand, again in the black-and-white filter, reaching out and looks to be holding the words. Again in Furtura Bold Oblique font, the words are seen red-accented to contrast and pop out from the black-and-white background.  

Kruger again uses the same techniques of memory, culture, and words to appeal in her art. In 1987, the society was shifting into a state of consumerism. Since the industrial revolution, thousands of material-making companies were created that made people ache to buy, buy, and buy. It started to feel like people needed materialistic things in order to survive, which is the whole meaning behind this image. The words “I shop therefore I am” is a spin off from the infamous phrase “I think Therefore I am” created by French philosopher, Rene Descartes. Just like Descartes’ meaning of thinking being the overall proof of existence, Kruger’s meaning behind the phrase is how society needs materials to prove that they have existence. What’s interesting is that the hand is seemingly holding the words as if it is a material that was bought by the consumer. The ridiculousness of the consumer-driven society Kruger found herself in was the reason she made such an impactful statement within this piece.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sources: 

Barbara Kruger. www.artnet.com/artists/barbara-kruger/.

“Barbara Kruger.” Barbara Kruger - 142 Artworks, Bio & Shows on Artsy,    www.artsy.net/artist/barbara-kruger.

Barbara Kruger's I Shop Therefore I Am - What You Should Know. 29 Jan. 2021,  publicdelivery.org/barbara-kruger-ishop/#:~:text=The%20catchphrase%20%E2%80%9CI%20shop%20therefore,proof%20that%20they%20did%20exist. 

Kim, Adela H. Your Body Is A Battleground: ARTS: The Harvard Crimson. 9 Apr. 2014, www.thecrimson.com/column/the-art-of-protest/article/2014/4/9/art-of-protest-your-body-is-abattleground/#:~:text=However%2C%20the%20words%20%E2%80%9CYour%20body,body%2C%20yet%20directly%20affects%20her.

Lester, Paul Martin. Visual Communication: Images with Messages . Sixth ed., Michael Rosenberg, 2014.

[lavendermenaceexhibition]

Lavender Menace, a term first rooted in the American lesbian women’s movement for inclusion within feminism, now allows two pairs of Indigenous artists to gather, connect, and nourish each other’s growth to thrive as natural beings in ever-changing, estranged, rigid, urban environments. 

Lavender Menace brings together Metis artist, Chanelle Lajoie, in mentoring ten-year-old Ella Greyeyes in photography, capturing medicine and bodies amongst varying landscapes. Lavender Menace also brings together Anishinaabe artist, Kiana Compton, in mentoring Sadie Hudson-Constant, 12 years old, in painting, referencing the natural and native elements of the nearby location. The two artists painted floral patterns and Thunderbirds directly within the developed and concrete landscape of the skatepark.

This public exhibition allows Lavender Menace to blossom with the inclusion of Indigi-queer bodies occupying space on land, space in feminism, and space in queerness. Lavender existing as medicine reflects the medicine that two-spirit, femme, non-binary, and Indigi-queer individuals embody within our homelands. 

Witness our existence. 

Celebrate our growth. 

Heal alongside us.

The group public art exhibition, Lavender Menace, included a mentorship aspect, where two pairs of artists would meet at the skatepark, the location of the exhibition, and relating that location with being a gathering place for Indigenous and non-Indigenous people alike for millennia. The meetings included intergenerational knowledge sharing between artists and this included not only skill sharing in the mediums of photography and painting but included nature walks which connected the artists with each other, as well as to the land as Indigenous beings.

My name is Chanelle Lajoie, my pronouns are she/her, I come from here on treaty one territory, commonly known as Winnipeg Manitoba. My role in the project with Lavender Menace was a mentor to Ella in photography. I’ve been making art for as long as I can remember but what stands out most was when I participated in the youth outreach program at Martha Street Studio, and with my line of work, I would encourage participants to engage with Graffiti Art Programming. The medium I am most comfortable to work in is photography., but I’m now exploring filmmaking and I am really excited about that.

My name is Ella Greyeyes, and I go by she/her, I am from Winnipeg and my family is from Pegius. My role is a photographer, being a mentee. I started photography 2 months ago. My favourite art is mostly photography because I like picturing something and taking a photo of it and when other people see it I hope they feel happy inside.

My name is Kiana Compton, I go by she/her. I am Ojibwe, Cree, and Blackfoot. My spirit name is Woman in the Heavens Standing, I work at Art City, I was born and raised in Winnipeg. I was one of the mentors, I mentored Sadie and we did the painting. My uncle, Carl used to babysit me and he lived with me at one point and he would make me do art because he was a painter. And then I was a powwow dancer growing up and we were too poor to buy regalia so my mom got us to make our own. I like painting the best, I used to be a beader but I just feel like painting is more me, it’s chill I like just listening to music and painting whatever I want.

My name is Sadie Hudson-Constant, I go by she/her, my spirit name is Loud Thunderbird Woman. Born and raised in Winnipeg but my family comes from Peguis. I like to sketch a lot. I do a little bit, whenever I can. I like to sew and bead for regalias for my powwow dancing.

Annie: Lavender Menace means so many different things to different people. To each of us individually, we all come together from different upbringings, whether we are beginners, emerging, or semi-established, we have all come together to create something that gives back to our communities. It has resonated with us all differently, so for our artists, what does Lavender Menace mean to you?

Ella: Felt like I was part of the team, I felt like really happy doing this project because I just love taking photos and everybody that worked on this project was just so nice.

Kiana: I guess taking up space that's rightfully meant for us reclaiming space.

Sadie: I don't know it was really cool to be a part of this. This is the first time I got to show my art off.

Annie: The group public art exhibition Lavender Menace included a mentorship aspect where two pairs of Indigenous artists would meet at the skatepark, the location of the exhibition, relating that location with being a gathering place for Indigenous and non-Indigenous people alike for millennia. The meaning of secluded intergenerational knowledge-sharing between artists in this not only included skill sharing in the mediums of Photography and Painting but also included nature walks, connecting the artists to each other as well as the land as Indigenous beings.

Knowing the history of this location The Forks of the Red and Assiniboine Rivers, what did it mean for our artists to be gathering, connecting, and making art, here at this location?

Chanelle:  I hope that Indigi-queer folks feel regognized on lands that are inherently theirs, and I also hope that folks that do not identity as Idnigenous or Queer recognize its meant to offer space to indviduals who have been underrepresented for most of their lives here. I hope that when people are engaging with the artwork, settling into having conversations that might be challenging and understanding that those challenging conversations may mean we have to give space to these people who are on display. 

Ella: I hope they feel happy inside and happy wherever they go.

Kiana: I hope they know the roots of it and that its Indigenous, Indigo-queer, and that it makes this space more inclusive to all.

Sadie: I hope they know what the Thunderbirds do, I know there are people who don’t know but it’d be really cool if they could kind of get an idea.

Annie: Yeah, and what is the idea that your Thunderbird says?

Sadie: Everytime it rains, especially around this time, it’s the time when Thunderbirds are giving Mother Earth water to heal her, so it’s not a bad thing to get those storms.

Annie: The mentorship aspect of this exhibition project played such a huge role, for all of us, learning from each other in new experiences, in new ways, and under new circumstances with social distancing. What did our artists learn from this project that they hope to apply in the future?

Chanelle: I think the number one thing that stood out to me was that the ways in which intergenerational knowledge sharing can also be a creative endeavor. I learned a lot from Ella in our mentorship as a mentor, I think I was also in the position of a mentee, and I think it’s important that we recognize and celebrate all of the important teachings that youth carry with them because they are our future and I look forward to what Ella has ahead of her.

Ella: It was mostly learning photography and both, learning to be on a team with you guys, and doing this photography thing.

Kiana: Being a mentor, usually I’m not going out there and doing my thing with the intention of being a mentor, but it is what it is. As a young person, you are going to be a mentor to other young people because they are always looking up to you and doing what you do so I guess realizing that role and continuing it.

Sadie: I learned not to be scared to go to things like this, it took away some of the anxiety I have to meet new people, so it helped me a lot.

Annie: The show focused on creating an environment to allow Indigi-queer, Two-Spirit, non-binary, femme, queer individuals to thrive, to gather as community, and to take up space, in a space that has always been ours. Lajoie said the show at The Forks is meant to start a conversation about representation of Indigenous LGBT and Two-Spirit people in a space so deeply rooted in Indigenous histories.

In line with the fall solstice, the opening event of Lavender Menace took place September 20, 2020 from 5-7 at The Forks Skatepark. It was an outdoor distanced event with Queer Skate Wpg and Board Broads invited to skate. We had the Gago Brothers B-Boy Dance crew. Kilusan, Maribeth, and Tessa Chartrand as DJs, our DJ set included a live Instagram feed on Graffiti Art Programming’s Instagram account, and encouraged those who were staying home to be a part of the celebrations to encourage healthy communities. It was an open skate, participants and guest got to bring their boards, bike, blades, as well as mask, and be together to recognize and celebrate each other through art.

[somerandomwriter1234]

Girl Meets World Fanfiction: Girl Meets Reality Chapter 1

Summary: A science experiment goes wrong and sends Riley and Maya to an alternate universe where their lives are a TV show called Girl Meets World. In this strange world, Riley and Maya watch clips of their lives in TV show form, meet actresses Rowan Blanchard and Sabrina Carpenter, look up fanfiction and fan art involving them (yeah, nothing bad could happen from that), but more importantly: discover how their lives made a much bigger difference than they ever could have thought.

Chapter 1:

Early one morning Riley and Maya walked into Farkle's bedroom and saw him working on a large metallic device shaped like a circle with a computer attached to it. Riley then said, "Okay Farkle. We got here as soon as we could. What do you have to show us?" An excited Farkle then said, "Okay guys. Don't freak out. But with Smackle's help... I think I may have discovered a way to access alternate universes." A confused looking Maya then said, "Alter-what's-it?" Farkle then said, "Other worlds. It's the multiverse theory. The idea that: what if people made different choices in the past, and it resulted in worlds similar to ours but different." Maya then said, "Ohhhhhh... I still don't get it." Riley then said, "Well I'm proud of you Farkle. So how does it work?" Farkle then said, "Well it's still untested technology so don't..." Riley then pressed a large button near Farkle's computer as she said, "Ooo. Shiny!" Farkle then finished his sentence by yelling... "Don't touch anything!" Suddenly a large vortex appeared near the machine and right in front of Riley and Maya. Riley and Maya then instantly got sucked inside as they yelled, "Whoa!" Then within seconds... Riley and Maya were gone.

Riley and Maya suddenly appeared in the bedroom but Farkle was gone. As Riley looked around she said, "Wait. What happened? Where's the vortex? Where's Farkle?" Maya then said, "More importantly... where's the fourth wall?" Riley and Maya then saw in front of them was a TV sound studio with empty seats for a potential studio audience. Riley then said, "When did Farkle's room get so much bigger?" Maya then said, "More like why did someone build a re-creation of Farkle's bedroom in a TV studio? Come on. Lets look around." Riley and Maya then walked around the studio and found an exit door. The two girls walked outside and saw a bright outdoor sky and parking plot. Riley then said, "Well at least we're still in New York. Look at all of those buildings and... Wait. This isn't New York. Where are we?" Maya then said, "I've seen pictures of this place. Riley... I think we're in Los Angeles." A freaked out looking Riley then said, "We were transported to the other side of the country!? Oh man. How are we gonna get back?" Maya then looked at her phone and said, "Well however we're gonna do it, it won't involve our phones. I got no cell service." Riley then looked at her phone and said, "Me neither. Come on. Maybe we can use a computer or phone at that mall over there." Maya then noticed a mall not far away, and then she and Riley headed over towards it.

Riley and Maya began walking through a mall together. As they walked, several people began to make quick stares at them. Riley then said, "Maya, is it me, or are people starring at us?" Maya then said, "Eh. We're east coast girls. West coast folk probably think we smell weird." Suddenly a little preschool girl ran up to Riley and Maya and said, "Hey. Is it really you? Are you really Riley and Maya?" A surprised Riley then said, "Um... yes. How do you know us?" The little girl then said, "I love your show. It's the only thing I used to watch on Netflix. Can I get both your autograph?" A surprised looking Maya then said, "Um... sure." Riley and Maya then began to sign a piece of paper the little girl had as Riley said, "Is she talking about our old middle school news broadcasts?" Maya then said, "I guess. Didn't know the school had a deal with Netflix though." An adult woman then walked over to the three and said, "There you are Stacy, and... Oh wow. You're the ladies from my daughter's favorite show." Riley waved and said, "Hi. Nice to meet you." The little girl then got the piece of paper back and said, "Look mommy. They signed it." The adult woman smiled as she looked at it and said, "Aww. They signed it in character. That's cute." The adult woman and little girl walked away as Maya said, "Well this keeps getting stranger."

Riley and Maya then walked into a book store as Riley said, "Well maybe we can hook into the wi-fi here. How about getting a smoothie at the cafe first? My treat." Maya smiled as she said, "Thanks. But you're already my treat." Riley smiled as she went over to the cafe counter and said, "Two banana smoothies please." A young adult woman at the counter looked at Riley and Maya as she said, "Oh my gosh. Oh wow. I can't believe this. Listen, I know it must feel weird for a 27 year old to be saying this, but I love your show so much." Riley glanced at Maya as she whispered, "I had no idea so many people across the country were watching our morning announcements." The young woman then said, "I watched your show every Friday night with my niece and it meant so much to her, and some episodes even really touched me. We were both so devastated when Disney canceled Girl Meets World." A wide eyed Riley then said, "Girl Meets What?" The young woman then said, "Anyway, I'm sorry. I'll stop bothering you. Hey. Whatever you want, it's on the house." A confused looking Riley then said, "Uh... thank you."

As Riley and Maya sat in a corner booth by themselves Riley said, "Maya... has the world gone mad? Why are people treating us like celebrities? And why did that woman talk about Disney canceling our show? Wait... could we be in an alternate universe that Farkle's invention sent us to?" Maya who was looking at her phone said, "Way ahead of you. I had a feeling we were pretty far from home, and I got into this place's wi-fi and remembered the girl mentioning a show called Girl Meets World, so I searched for it and... well... look." Maya then held her phone up towards Riley and Riley's eyes got wide as she looked at the screen. There Riley saw pictures posted of her friends and family next to a large logo that said Girl Meets World. Then Riley looked at a description box and read it as she said, "According to this: Girl Meets World is an American comedy television series created by Michael Jacobs and April Kelly that aired on Disney Channel from June 27, 2014 to January 20, 2017. The series is a spinoff of Boy Meets World and stars Rowan Blanchard as Riley Matthews, Sabrina Carpenter as Maya Hart, and... Hold on. Our lives a TV show in this world!?" Maya then said, "Apparently. We even have our own theme song. Check it out." Maya then started a video clip of the Girl Meets World theme song. As it played Riley look at it and said, "What? How did they get this video footage? Have they been stalking us!? This... this is too weird!?"

About an hour later, Riley and Maya were hidden in a very isolated part of the book store sitting on the floor still looking at their phones. Maya then said, "Wow, watching these clips sure feels creepy. It's like some stalkers set up hidden camera all around our bedrooms, classrooms, and favorite hang out spots." A scared looking Riley then said, "Oh no. The episodes don't include scenes of me taking my hour long morning shower do they?" Maya made a little smile as she said, "No honey, this is apparently a family show. Although judging from the comments in some of these video clips, there are some guys that wish they could've seen that... and some girls." Riley then said, "I just don't get it. Who would want to watch a TV series about our lives? I mean I wasted all of third grade just tripping all of the time because I couldn't tie my shoes. Who would want to see that?" As Maya continued to look up information on the show she said, "It's not our whole lives Riley. Just from the beginning of 7th grade to the middle of 9th. Apparently the show ended right after your mom decided not to move to London." Riley then said, "Wait. Why did our show end?" Maya then said, "Apparently a reasonable explanation was never given from Disney and fans started a huge campaign to save the series. On social media the day it ended, it was apparently the second highest trending topic worldwide behind only the 2017 presidential inauguration." A wide eyed Riley said, "Worldwide!? How popular was our show!?" Maya then said, "Well the premiere got just over five million viewers in the USA, but it's apparently been aired worldwide, so we may have been watched by over 100 million fans at some point or another."

Riley then slouched back in her chair as she said, "A hundred million people!? My Harajuku phase, first kiss with Lucas, and paint fight with you was seen by over 100 million people!?" Maya then said, "Well if it make you feels better, it wasn't technically you. In this world it was an actress named Rowan Blanchard." Riley then looked at a picture of herself as she said, "What!? I don't look like a Rowan!? That's a weird name for someone who looks like me." Maya then said, "Tell me about it. I can't believe my face belongs to some actress in this world named Sabrina Carpenter. What kind of name is that anyway? It sounds like the name of some cartoon cat who's a handy-woman." Then Riley said, "Who are these two girls anyway? Lets look them up." Maya then said, "Well, lets see. According to this: Rowan Blanchard on top of acting, is also a public activist in areas such as feminism, human rights, and gun violence." Riley then said, "Whoa. And according to this: Sabrina Carpenter is an accomplished actress and singer, with multiple hit albums and sold out tours." A wide eyed Maya then said, "What!? No. That's gotta be fake." Riley then said, "Well it is hard to sort out which news sources are more reliable on this alternate world. I know. Let me search what's real and what's fake on this Rowan Blanchard and Sabrina Carpenter and see what's the real deal with them and... Huh? Is that... OH MY GOSH!" A worried Maya then said, "What!?" Riley then said, "Oh God. Whatever you do: don't image search our actress' names and the word fake next to them." Maya then glanced at Riley's phone and said, "Oh my gosh. That is so messed up... Your boobs are way more bigger than that in real life." Riley then began pressing buttons on her phone fast as she said, "Ahh! Delete internet history! Delete internet history!"

Later Riley and Maya were walking through the mall again as Riley said, "It's just so weird Maya. For so long: my life was just... my life. And now I learn in some alternate universe... it's been watched and studied by millions of people." Maya then said, "It's not us Riley. It's just stories being performed by two girls who look like us... and who are smarter than us... more famous than us... and way more talented than us." A concerned looking Riley then said, "You okay, Peaches?" Maya then said, "Yeah. It's just... I always wished more people paid attention to my art. And to see a world where another version of me has her art adored by millions of people... it's amazing but still very strange." Suddenly a man ran over to Maya and said, "You. You're supposed to be on stage in fifteen minutes. Why aren't you in hair and makeup?" A confused Maya then said, "What?" The man then said, "Oh. Miss Blanchard. Nice to see you. I suppose she's hanging out with you today?" Maya then said, "Um..." The man then said, "Come on. Lets go." The man then quickly led Maya over to a closed door and let her and Riley in. The man then said, "Apologies for not getting your sooner. It's just I was told you were already here and... Wait. What?" Suddenly everyone stopped as Riley and Maya saw walking around a corner in makeup were actresses Rowan Blanchard and Sabrina Carpenter. All of the girls stopped walking as they looked at each other. Rowan Blanchard then looked at Sabrina Carpenter as she said, "Sabrina, what is going on?" Riley then looked at Maya as she said, "Oh boy. This sure got complicated."

TO BE CONTINUED...

*Author's Note - This story was co-written with fanfic writer: Just a Complicated Person. So what did you all think of this tale so far? Feel free to leave a comment or message with your thoughts, and feel free to share what should happen next, along with what other corners of the Girl Meets World online fandom that Riley and Maya should discover. Until then, thanks for reading!

[gayleontologists]

so one of the librarians at work approached me to see if i was interested in starting an lgbt teens book club because it’s something that they’ve wanted to do for a while but have not been able to staff it (which i’ve mentioned before that i’d be down to do that many times and i’ve worked here for over a year and a half but whatever lol). and we’re in the preliminary stages of getting it set up and we’re just waiting to get the go-ahead from the director in a formal setting (in an informal setting, he said fine but it like,, has to be on paper now)

but now that it’s very close to getting approved and getting started, he’s almost shutting me out a bit?? like, i helped him come up with the starting list of titles. and by that i mean, i gave him a list of YA LGBT titles since he only knew 2 and they were both graphic novels. like?? graphic novels are chill but your whole bookclub cannot be formed around them. but now he’s like “oh, i don’t know what your schedule will be like but maybe you could do like every other meeting or something like that?” like?? why would i not be at every one!??? they are once a month!! for 2 hours!!! what???!! like, we’re work friends, but i feel very weird about this and his kind of over taking everything, when he wouldn’t even be able to do this without my name on the proposal as well.

overall, he does kinda have an ... overbearing allyship (??) where he talks over me - and others - a lot when it comes to talking about issues at work, etc. (he one time interrupted mine and another woman’s conversation about feminism at work to go “ugh, the patriarchy, am i right???”) anyways.. when i was in high school, it would have been so rad if my library had had an lgbt book club for teens (they do now which is awesome!!!), and if i was a teen now... idk. obvs it probably wouldn’t come up at all and the kids wouldn’t know, but if they did... if i was still a teen and there was an lgbt book club, i think i would rather attend the book club headed by a mid-20s lesbian as opposed to the mid-30s cishet man. idk???

[newrd1]

How to write a big paper efficiently (and quickly)

Hey all! I know finals are over for a lot of us, but I still wanted to sit down and make a post outlining the way I personally write big papers (10-20 pages). This is the method that is most efficient for me, so I’m hoping it helps someone else out there! (This works best if you have at LEAST 3 days to write your paper. Hopefully you left yourself more time, but I get it doesn’t always work out that way).

My biggest problem when I write a paper is, well, writing. It used to take me HOURS just to finish a paragraph-- just sitting there, agonizing over sentences and clicking away to watch youtube or scroll tumblr every 10 minutes. If this sounds like you, you need a system!

   Let’s get started!

Step 1: Set up!

The first thing I like to do for a project is get a 3 prong folder. Put a chunk of loose-leaf in the middle, grab a pen and you’re set!

Step 2: Read your primary source!

I’m an English major, so most of my big papers revolve around a book. Still, many other papers have a primary source from which you get most of your information. Sit down with your folder and read your book. Working in the 3 day time-frame, this is day 1. As you read, note any quotes that stick out to you, highlight them and write them down in your folder, with page numbers (trust me, that’s important, you don’t want to go scavenging for the page numbers of all your quotes after you’ve written the damn paper and are ready to be done). Under your quote, be sure to note what stuck out to you. Was it theme, characterization, etc that caught your eye? Maybe just an interesting word choice on the author’s part? These little things are important in a strong paper!

Many teachers will say that to truly understand a book, you need to read it at least twice. Well I’m here to tell you that while that’s a nice idea, I had an assignment on Moby-Dick this semester and that s*** just ain’t happening. It’s much better in my opinion to mark down everything significant the first read around, and then if you need to you can go back and reread the  relevant passages. Don’t tell, but if I’m really desperate, I’ll just read the chapter summaries on Schmoop (oop) but trust me, it’s a lot easier in the long run if you read the book and get a feel for it yourself.

Step 3: Choose a paper topic!

Alright so you’ve read your primary source, gotten some good quotes. Chances are as you were reading, some ideas for a paper topic popped into your head. If your prof isn’t assigning topics (which most in college won’t) make sure to pick something you’re genuinely interested in. Even if they are, if you have a topic idea you’re really interested in, pitch it to them! 9/10 times I guarantee they’ll let you write that instead.

A good method I find in picking a strong topic for a research paper is to pair your idea with a pre-established field of study. Marxism, gender theory, queer theory, religious studies, feminism- all that good stuff. Doing this will help guide your research and also teach you a lot about something new!

If you’re having difficulty coming up with anything, there’s nothing wrong with going to a website like Schmoop and reading up on the book’s themes, analyses etc to get a better grasp on it. That’s what those websites are actually for.

At this point you may or may not be ready to write an actual thesis. I say go ahead and make a rough one, which can be amended depending on what you learn in:

Step 4: Research!

Aw hell yeah, baby it’s research day. This used to be the part I dreaded, but now I absolutely love doing research for my papers. Get thee to a library and start searching. And yes I mean that, you’d be surprised how much more productive and convenient it is to do research in an actual library. Start by searching your libraries database. I usually start with really broad terms, just my book and paper topic and see what’s available, then narrow it down from there. ALSO don’t be afraid to use books. Most academic books have very helpful chapter titles. Skim those and add a print source to your Works Cited (professors love that s***).

Print out all of the relevant sources you find and put them in your folder. The next step is much like the first: sit down, read through your articles and write down any quotes you find relevant with page numbers. Personally i give each source it’s own page and put the full title at the top to save time later.

Another good tip, during this step, make your works cited as you go! Most databases like j-stor and google scholar will even cite your source for you. Still, double check the formatting for these citations as I’ve lost far too many points to over-trusting automatic citations.

A rule of thumb I use is to have at least half as many sources as pages in your paper. Once you really get into the groove of researching, I guarantee you’ll find even more than that.

Step 5: WRITE. THAT. PAPER.

This is the hard part, huh? But look, while you were doing all that research and reading, I bet you got plenty of ideas for what you wanted to write about, which you hopefully jotted down as you went. With all the preparation in the last 4 steps, writing the actual paper is a breeze. If it helps, you can make an outline, but I usually don’t.

Your paper is an argument for why your thesis is true, and each paragraph should support that thesis. A simple formula: each paragraph should focus around a direct quote/ instance in your primary source that supports your thesis. Introduce that quote then explain how it’s supportive, even if you think the quote speaks for itself. Then use your secondary sources to back up the conclusion you came to with that quote. You must have secondary sources to support each point you make!!! Same with those, hug your citations with an introduction and explanation. This not only ensures your argument is well supported and expounded on, but adds word count! Finish your paragraph up with a mini conclusion and a lead in to the next paragraph, then rinse and repeat till the page count is met or you have fully defended your thesis.

Lastly, I know we scoff at rough drafts, but I’ve found that telling myself I’m only writing a rough draft and just need to get words on the page pushes through the paralyzing aspect of my perfectionism. And you’d be surprised by how good what you write actually ends up being. Then even if it’s not, revision is your friend!

Step 6: Revision and final touches!

Double, triple, quadruple check those sources and citations. Read your paper aloud. Leave it for a few hours and come back. If you have the time, take your paper to your professor to get their opinion or to the writing lab for help if your school/university has one available. Polish that paper to perfection, baby!

I hope this helps anyone who actually bothers reading! I think these are some really valuable tips that I personally wish I’d been told years ago. Some (or all I guess) of them may seem obvious, but to someone with as much executive dysfunction and perfectionist tendencies as me, having a plan that isn’t just “write a paper” has been ridiculously beneficial.

As cliche as it sounds, getting started is the hardest step, so sit down and get started!!!

[pythagoravonsamos]

WOMEN vs MATURITY

Your father married your mother when she was 18 - 24 years,

Your mother raised the family, supporting your father's purpose for you to become what you are today.

Your father never looked for maturity but he looked for a woman who will submit and be part of his purpose.

Men today have become a contraption when it comes to choosing a wife. You will hear them say things like

"I want a woman who is mature"

"I want a woman like my mother"

But here is the point:

Women never mature. If you are looking for a mature woman, you will live a desperate, regretful life forever.

You are looking for a mature woman because you are still immature and entrapped in your mother's bosom yet your mother was married when she was 18 - 24 years old.

The other point is that modern liberalisation and feminism has pushed women into the career path rather than the family path, due to this dysgenic conditioning, women find themselves on the wall at 30 years, without a family, without babies and without a feminine future, therefore they conflate statements like

" a real man dates a mature woman"

" a real man never fears a powerful and independent woman"

So, these statements are meant to entice a man's ego. While a man who ignores such derogatory seductions, is labelled 'weak, broke and a loser' - but which man wants to be called a loser? So he goes ahead to ignore the failures of such a woman and marries her then conforms or convinces himself with words like

"I married a strong, mature woman, - so, I am stronger than her and stronger than all other men..."

"See, I married a woman who is a CEO of a bank, so, I am stronger..."

No, you are not stronger, you are a weak man who was enticed and manipulated into a relationship that doesn't suit you.

You know very well the relationship is a mess but you put on a brave face to hoodwink the public that you are in the world's most stable marriage.

You are not.

You are a pet.

You are a marionette.

And I, will not stop reminding you that, your first encounter with your woman is what sets the tone of that relationship.

I will never stop reminding you about this. - Defining your boundaries on the first date.

Listen,

Women will never mature in marriage. She is the same girl that was 18 years of age. Her thinking is the same.

A 20-year-old woman reasons alike like a 49-year-old PhD professor of nutrition.

Their jealousy is the same.

Their demons are the same.

What differentiates them is how her father raised her.

Look at you mother,

Your father sees her the same way she saw her 30 years ago. To him, your mother is still the girl he met in the village paths.

Try and eavesdrop on them when they are alone, you will see how your father pets her and tickles her as she melts in her girlish mannerism.

Men, don't look for maturity in women. It doesn't exist. Date a woman who will plug into your purpose while obeying your command.

You must raise your masculine frame so that she can sink into it.

The more she sinks into your frame, the more she becomes girlish and feminine and this is where many men fail. They expect their women to behave like their mothers to them.

Your woman will never be your mother. She will only be like your daughter but never like your mother.

You, the man, must first be her leader before she becomes your disciple.

If you expect her to be like your mother, you are simply signalling to her that you are an immature boy who still wants to suckle.

Once she learns that you are clinging on her with your neediness, she first pampers you, feeds you like a pig then tethers you on her leash.

After tethering you, she cunningly baits you, after which she chokes and smothers you into smithereens destroying you completely then monkey branches to a better higher value man.

That's feminine nature.

Finally, there is nothing like compatibility. It doesn't exist.

There is no compatibility in relationships. Just raise your frame and she will naturally fall into it. Failure to do this will lead to resentment from her.

[yamirla-england-blog]

“Ten Interesting British Novels”

“White Teeth” by Zadie Smith - “At the center of this invigorating novel are two unlikely friends, Archie Jones and Samad Iqbal. Hapless veterans of World War II, Archie and Samad and their families become agents of England’s irrevocable transformation. A second marriage to Clara Bowden, a beautiful, albeit tooth-challenged, Jamaican half his age, quite literally gives Archie a second lease on life, and produces Irie, a knowing child whose personality doesn’t quite match her name (Jamaican for “no problem”). Samad’s late-in-life arranged marriage (he had to wait for his bride to be born), produces twin sons whose separate paths confound Iqbal’s every effort to direct them, and a renewed, if selective, submission to his Islamic faith. Set against London’ s racial and cultural tapestry, venturing across the former empire and into the past as it barrels toward the future, White Teeth revels in the ecstatic hodgepodge of modern life, flirting with disaster, confounding expectations, and embracing the comedy of daily existence”. (Amazon)

“Juliet, Naked” by Nick Hornby - “Nick Hornby returns to his roots—music and messy relationships—in this funny and touching novel that thoughtfully and sympathetically looks at how lives can be wasted but how they are never beyond redemption. Annie lives in a dull town on England’s bleak east coast and is in a relationship with Duncan that mirrors the place; Tucker, once a brilliant songwriter and performer, has gone into seclusion in rural America—or at least that’s what his fans think. Duncan is obsessed with Tucker’s work to the point of derangement, and when Annie dares to go public on her dislike of his latest album, there are quite unexpected, life-changing consequences for all three”. (Amazon)

“A Tale of Two Cities” by Charles Dickens - “It was the time of the French Revolution — a time of great change and great danger. It was a time when injustice was met by a lust for vengeance, and rarely was a distinction made between the innocent and the guilty. Against this tumultuous historical backdrop, Dickens' great story of unsurpassed adventure and courage unfolds. Unjustly imprisoned for 18 years in the Bastille, Dr. Alexandre Manette is reunited with his daughter, Lucie, and safely transported from France to England. It would seem that they could take up the threads of their lives in peace. As fate would have it though, the pair are summoned to the Old Bailey to testify against a young Frenchman — Charles Darnay — falsely accused of treason. Strangely enough, Darnay bears an uncanny resemblance to another man in the courtroom, the dissolute lawyer's clerk Sydney Carton. It is a coincidence that saves Darnay from certain doom more than once. Brilliantly plotted, the novel is rich in drama, romance, and heroics that culminate in a daring prison escape in the shadow of the guillotine”. (Amazon)

“Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austen - "Pride and Prejudice is a novel of manners by Jane Austen, first published in 1813. The story follows the main character, Elizabeth Bennet, as she deals with issues of manners, upbringing, morality, education, and marriage in the society of the landed gentry of the British Regency. Elizabeth is the second of five daughters of a country gentleman living near the fictional town of Meryton in Hertfordshire, near London. Page 2 of a letter from Jane Austen to her sister Cassandra (11 June 1799) in which she first mentions Pride and Prejudice, using its working title First Impressions. (NLA) Set in England in the early 19th century, Pride and Prejudice tells the story of Mr and Mrs Bennet's five unmarried daughters after the rich and eligible Mr Bingley and his status-conscious friend, Mr Darcy, have moved into their neighbourhood. While Bingley takes an immediate liking to the eldest Bennet daughter, Jane, Darcy has difficulty adapting to local society and repeatedly clashes with the second-eldest Bennet daughter, Elizabeth. Pride and Prejudice retains a fascination for modern readers, continuing near the top of lists of "most loved books." It has become one of the most popular novels in English literature, selling over 20 million copies, and receives considerable attention from literary scholars. Modern interest in the book has resulted in a number of dramatic adaptations and an abundance of novels and stories imitating Austen's memorable characters or themes”. (Amazon)

“Jane Eyre” by Charlotte Bronte - “Jane Eyre (originally published as Jane Eyre: An Autobiography) is a novel by English writer Charlotte Brontë. It was published on 16 October 1847, by Smith, Elder & Co. of London, England, under the pen name "Currer Bell." The first American edition was published the following year by Harper & Brothers of New York. Primarily of the bildungsroman genre, Jane Eyre follows the emotions and experiences of its title character, including her growth to adulthood, and her love for Mr. Rochester, the byronic master of fictitious Thornfield Hall. In its internalisation of the action the focus is on the gradual unfolding of Jane's moral and spiritual sensibility, and all the events are coloured by a heightened intensity that was previously the domain of poetry Jane Eyre revolutionised the art of fiction. Charlotte Brontë has been called the 'first historian of the private consciousness' and the literary ancestor of writers like Joyce and Proust. The novel contains elements of social criticism, with a strong sense of morality at its core, but is nonetheless a novel many consider ahead of its time given the individualistic character of Jane and the novel's exploration of classism, sexuality, religion, and proto-feminism”. (Amazon)

“Wuthering Heights” by Emily Bronte - “Wuthering Heights is Emily Brontë's first and only published novel, written between October 1845 and June 1846, and published in 1847 under the pseudonym Ellis Bell; Brontë died the following year, aged 30. The decision to publish came after the success of her sister Charlotte's novel, Jane Eyre. After Emily's death, Charlotte edited the manuscript of Wuthering Heights, and arranged for the edited version to be published as a posthumous second edition in 1850. Wuthering Heights is the name of the farmhouse where the story unfolds. The book's core theme is the destructive effect of jealousy and vengefulness both on the jealous or vengeful individuals and on their communities”. (Amazon)

“The Tempest” by William Shakespeare - “Putting romance onstage, The Tempest gives us a magician, Prospero, a former duke of Milan who was displaced by his treacherous brother, Antonio. Prospero is exiled on an island, where his only companions are his daughter, Miranda, the spirit Ariel, and the monster Caliban. When his enemies are among those caught in a storm near the island, Prospero turns his power upon them through Ariel and other spirits. - The characters exceed the roles of villains and heroes. Prospero seems heroic, yet he enslaves Caliban and has an appetite for revenge. Caliban seems to be a monster for attacking Miranda, but appears heroic in resisting Prospero, evoking the period of colonialism during which the play was written. Miranda’s engagement to Ferdinand, the Prince of Naples and a member of the shipwrecked party, helps resolve the drama”. (Amazon)

“1984″ by George Orwell - “Winston Smith toes the Party line, rewriting history to satisfy the demands of the Ministry of Truth. With each lie he writes, Winston grows to hate the Party that seeks power for its own sake and persecutes those who dare to commit thoughtcrimes. But as he starts to think for himself, Winston can’t escape the fact that Big Brother is always watching... A startling and haunting vision of the world, 1984 is so powerful that it is completely convincing from start to finish. No one can deny the influence of this novel, its hold on the imaginations of multiple generations of readers, or the resiliency of its admonitions—a legacy that seems only to grow with the passage of time”. (Amazon)

“Lord of the Flies” by William Golding - “At the dawn of the next world war, a plane crashes on an uncharted island, stranding a group of schoolboys. At first, with no adult supervision, their freedom is something to celebrate. This far from civilization they can do anything they want. Anything. But as order collapses, as strange howls echo in the night, as terror begins its reign, the hope of adventure seems as far removed from reality as the hope of being rescued”. (Amazon)

“The Hobbit” by J.R.R. Tolkien - “Bilbo Baggins is a hobbit who enjoys a comfortable, unambitious life, rarely traveling any farther than his pantry or cellar. But his contentment is disturbed when the wizard Gandalf and a company of dwarves arrive on his doorstep one day to whisk him away on an adventure. They have launched a plot to raid the treasure hoard guarded by Smaug the Magnificent, a large and very dangerous dragon. Bilbo reluctantly joins their quest, unaware that on his journey to the Lonely Mountain he will encounter both a magic ring and a frightening creature known as Gollum”. (Amazon)

[fuckyeahjamieandclaire]

This week, a Twitter exchange between the writers' account for a popular TV show, its lead star, and the series' fans received some attention. The latest episode of the show — the sixth of its third season — depicted a long-awaited reunion between its star-crossed protagonists, and fans had things to say about how the scene had deviated from the original source material (the books on which the show is based). Tweets flew between fans and the show's writers, then the star himself stepped in to explain why he'd enacted the scene the way he did, and finally, the writer of the original books retweeted it all, to settle the matter.

Welcome to the world of Outlander.

In the Golden Age of Peak TV, small screen series — Game of Thrones, Stranger Things, Sherlock, to name just a few — have gone on to become global phenomenons, and inspire devoted fan followings (Orphan Black) in a way that would make Hollywood envious. Outlander has fans who're a little more invested than most — and the show, which premiered in August 2014, deserves every bit of the fandom.

The story so far

For those who haven't seen Outlander (it streams in India on Netflix; a new episode goes up every Monday night), here's a quick lowdown:

Based on the Outlander novels by American author Diana Gabaldon — the first was published in 1991; the series comprises eight books so far, with a ninth on its way — the story spans the genres of historical fiction, sci-fi, adventure, fantasy and romance. It begins just after World War II, when English nurse Claire Randall disappears in Scotland while on a second honeymoon there with her husband, a historian called Frank Randall. Frank and the authorities search high and low for Claire; what they do not know, is that Claire has slipped through a time portal while visiting a mysterious stone circle (a small-scale Stonehenge) in a place called Craigh na Dun, and inadvertently travelled 200 years into the past. Having hurtled into the year 1743, Claire finds herself navigating the social mores of 18th century Scotland (at a troubled point in its history), and also a passionate marriage with a Highlander called Jamie Fraser.

Showrunner Ronald D Moore has stuck pretty closely to Galabaldon's books in his screen adaptation. So Outlander's season 1 followed the happenings of the eponymous book 1 (nearly) to the letter: Claire's tumble through time, establishing herself as a healer of some repute, marriage with Jamie, and their run-ins with a sadistic captain in the British Army, Jack Randall (an ancestor of Frank's). Season 2 (based on book 2 — A Dragonfly in Amber) saw them escape to France and get embroiled in the court politics of King Louis XV there, before returning to Scotland. The larger narrative arc for both these seasons — covering a span of about three years — is the Jacobite rebellion brewing in Scotland at the time, with several of the clans declaring support for Prince Charles Stuart's uprising against the English king George II. Knowing as she does that the revolt will lead to the destruction of the Scottish clans, Claire works with Jamie to stymie it.

[Spoilers ahead]

The end of season 2 saw Jamie send a pregnant Claire back through the stones at Craigh na Dun, to the future; he believes he will die in the battle of Culloden, where the Jacobite rebellion was crushed by the English. Claire returns to the 1940s, to Frank; they move to America where Claire trains as a surgeon and they raise her child together. Twenty years later, after Frank's death, Claire revisits Scotland, and happens to discover that Jamie was not, in fact, among the men who were killed at Culloden. A painstaking search over several months with help from a historian friend helps Claire track Jamie down — from years of hiding in a cave near his ancestral home, to several more in prison, then as an indentured servant on parole, and finally as a printer in Edinburgh (with a profitable side business in smuggling fine liquor). Her daughter is all grown up, and has (after some disbelief) accepted her mother's time travelling past, so Claire decides to go through the stones, once again, and reconnect with Jamie.

It was this reunion — dubbed 'the print shop scene' by fans, because it takes place in Jamie's print shop — that caused the recent Twitter eruption. In Diana Gabaldon's third book (titled Voyager, the chapter is called 'A. Malcom', as is episode six of season 3) Jamie breaks down after Claire shows him photographs of their daughter Brianna. In the show, actor Sam Heughan preferred to take a more restrained approach, and while he depicts a man in the grip of great emotion, didn't actually break into tears. With Heughan, the writers and Gabaldon herself all presenting their points of view, the fandom seems to have been appeased, for now.

The story now

Outlander stars Caitriona Balfe as Claire Beauchamp/Randall/Fraser, Sam Heughan as Jamie Fraser, and Tobias Menzies as Frank Randall/Captain Jack Randall. Balfe is a wonderful Claire, playing her with all the gutsy gumption the character demands. Claire has been called many things — the female character Game of Thrones should have had, a true feminist heroine etc — and Balfe brings all of that strength into her portrayal. Tobias Menzies is a revelation: both his roles, as the sensitive/disappointed Frank Randall and the utterly villainous Jack Randall are so finely etched, you wonder why the Game of Thrones showrunners decided to waste his prodigious talent by casting him as the wishy-washy Lord Edmure Tully. The supporting cast also boasts several gifted actors — and yet, Sam Heughan towers above them all (figuratively, and literally considering he stands at about 6'3"). Over much of season 1, Heughan played Jamie Fraser with a carefree insouciance, although there were flashes of intensity that promised greater depths. Then, over the last two episodes of the season, came what for most fans was an Outlander rubicon — the depiction of Jamie's rape by Captain Jack Randall. Menzies was pitch perfect, but Heughan's performance was something else altogether. The violence was brutal — but not gratuitous, the scene stark — yet oddly intimate; it won rave reviews for showing the aftermath of rape, and survivors' state of mind. (It was also a winning argument for why we need more women directors on big-ticket TV shows, but more on that later.)

While Outlander, for the most part, is told through Claire's perspective, it does delve into Jamie's frame of mind as well, on occasion. Those occasions give Heughan a chance to shine. Season 3, especially, has offered many of those. As a fugitive from the law, then a prisoner, and 'lowly' servant, this Jamie Fraser is a far cry from the devil-may-care lad we first knew, and Heughan invests the weight of all these life experiences into his portrayal. Much has been written of how the characters were not aged in a very physically obvious way, even though the story has taken a leap of 20 years, but there are subtle changes that do make a marked difference — the way Heughan moves, or the air of reserve, of sorrow held in check that wasn't present in his portrayal earlier.

Filming for season 4 is currently under-way, and season three is only at its halfway point, which means fans have a fair bit more of Outlander to look forward to. With the story moving away from Scotland, as the reunited Jamie and Claire set off for fresh adventures in France, the West Indies, and finally America (by the end of book 3), there's quite some exciting ground to cover.

Outlander and the female gaze

Feminism may seem like an odd thing to bring up in connection with a TV show about time travel and Scottish history, and yet, that's among the most discussed things about this series. The obvious way in which Outlander is feminist is in its heroine, of course. As a nurse and later, surgeon, Claire is in her element — whether she's in 18th century Scotland, or 20th century Boston. Season 1 saw her grapple with patriarchy and superstition — all while she plotted with Jamie to save the Highland clans. Sure, she gets into situations where Jamie needs to rescue her — but she's no damsel-in-distress, and saves Jamie's life just as often. Then again, it isn't that we haven't seen strong female protagonists like Claire in popular culture.

Outlander's feminism comes from its adoption of the female gaze — not just because the story is written by a woman, but also in the way women directors have shot crucial episodes. Game of Thrones has often been criticised for its lack of female directors; Outlander, by contrast, shows you what women bring to a scene when they're placed behind the camera. So season 1 had critical episodes being shot by Anna Foerster (Underworld: Blood Wars, White House Down) — the season finale and the penultimate one (Jamie's rape and torture at the hands of Jack Randall) and also Jamie and Claire's wedding episode. The wedding episode offers a case study in the difference between how men and women film sex — how male and female actors (and nudity) are portrayed depending on who's behind the camera. Season 3 again features three women directors on its roster — Norma Bailey (who shot the print shop reunion episode), Jennifer Getzinger and Charlotte Brandström.

Some may argue that the reverse of what we see in other shows has happened with Outlander — it's the male lead (Sam Heughan) who is now objectified. However, the appreciation for his Greek Scottish god looks has also been balanced with the acclaim for his histrionics.

Those Outlander-Game of Thrones comparisons

That they feature well-known actors from the UK, are based on sprawling epic historical/fantasy sagas by immensely popular American writers, are inspired by aspects of the UK's history, have gorgeous music (Bear McCreary's score for Outlander is as good as Ramin Djawadi's for Game of Thrones) and are produced by premium networks make Game of Thrones and Outlander comparisons common. Of course, they're vastly different — and those oft-listed similarities are superficial at best. Still, fans of one show will find much to love in the other.

As Game of Thrones heads to its finale season in 2018, there's going to be a big, fantasy epic-sized hole in our pop culture lives. Outlander — with its well-entrenched fan base and potential to grow bigger — could be poised to fill that gap.

[debtfreeinthree]

How to Ask for a Raise

When I first started this blog, my main mission was to share how I was paying off my student loans early and to inspire other people to do the same. I did so at first by cutting expenses, living frugally and putting all my extra income toward my loans.

I was only making $28,000-$30,000 a year, but I still managed to pay off my debt in three years.

Now that I’m on the other side of debt freedom, I realize where I went wrong in my journey: I should’ve focused on earning more.

Yes, cutting expenses is great and necessary, but earning more money is better. Why? The 30 minutes you spend making your own laundry detergent could be spent brainstorming side hustles, updating your resume or selling your old clothes on Poshmark.

One of the best ways to make more money without getting a part-time job or driving for Uber is to negotiate your salary. So here are my tips on how to negotiate and get the raise you deserve.

Why You Should Negotiate and Ask for a Raise

When I graduated from college with a degree in journalism, I spent months applying for jobs. I sent out almost 200 job applications, including jobs in newspapers, magazines and PR firms. I applied every time I saw a position that I was remotely qualified for, even if they were asking for years of experience that I didn’t have.

A few weeks into my job hunt, a friend of mine told me about a job opening at her former workplace. She put in a good word for me with the editor and I had a phone interview within a couple days. They offered me the gig with a salary of $28,000 – more than what my friend made when she was working there. I was so ready to be done with the job hunt that I said yes immediately.

So what was my biggest mistake? Not negotiating the salary.

Fortunately, I’ve learned since then how to negotiate and ask for what I want. I haven’t always gotten a bigger salary, but I’m no longer scared of asking the question.

Here’s what I learned about negotiating – and why I think everyone should do it.

Negotiate Before You’ve Accepted the Job

When a company is looking for an employee, they’re usually anxious to find the right one. They need someone who can fit into the company culture, understand their role quickly and adapt to a new position. Usually, they’re also scrambling to find someone quickly because most people only give two weeks’ notice.

Even if you’ve been job hunting for weeks or months, you still have some power when you’re offered a position. If the company wants you, recognize that and ask for more money – before you’ve accepted the job.

Because the prospective employer doesn’t know if you’re going to accept the position, they have more reason to give you what you want. But this only works if you haven’t said yes yet – once you do that, there’s less incentive for them to agree.

Be Confident

Many women, myself included, suffer from Imposter Syndrome. We don’t think we’re as qualified, smart or capable as we truly are. While this can create some self-esteem issues in our personal lives, it can be financially devastating in a professional setting.

If you’re feeling unconfident when you ask for a raise, your boss will be able to sense it, even if it doesn’t seem overt. Anytime you go into a negotiation, you have to be feeling your absolute best. I don’t care if you have to crank up the music in your office before you’re ready, do whatever it takes to feel your most valuable. (I used to listen to “Defying Gravity” whenever I needed to be pumped up).

Try practicing your negotiating skills with someone close to you, like a friend or significant other. Ask them if you sound unsure, meek or timid. A third-party can tell you if you sound like a shy mouse versus a proud lion. Don’t be arrogant either – that’s not helpful.

If you want more help, check out this book on negotiating which can show you how to negotiate in any situation!

Provide Proof

If you’re negotiating when you already have a job, you need to give your employer proof that you deserve a raise. How do you do that? By making a list of your accomplishments and how you’ve served the company well. For example, I used to be in charge of the marketing budget at my old job.

One day, I was going through the budget and found a few areas where I could cut expenses significantly. I went to my boss and asked him if I could get a bonus if I saved the company money. We agreed on a goal and in a few months, I earned my $1,000 bonus.

Another way to earn a raise or bonus is to provide other ways you’ve either made the company money or saved them money. Supervisors like to see tangible results – it’s not enough to say, “I’m a really good worker.” You have to provide proof.

It can be helpful to create a spreadsheet or list of your achievements so your boss has something to look over. Use numbers if possible – like I increased customer retention by 20%. The more specific you can be, the more likely it is you’ll get the results you want.

Ask for More Than What You Want

My friend Melanie taught me this trick when she was asking for a raise. If you really want $45,000, ask for $50,000. No one wants to automatically agree with your request – they’ll almost always try to give you a little less than what you’ve asked for. So ask for more than what you want so if they give you less, you’ll end up somewhere close to what you were hoping for.

This might seem like a shady tactic, but negotiating is all about planning one step ahead.

Do It for Everyone Else

As a woman, I’m aware of the gender pay gay and how it affects the other women around me. So when I get nervous about negotiating, I try to think about the other women I know who deserve to be paid fairly.

If you’re having trouble asking for more money, imagine that you’re asking for someone else who really deserves it. Every time you ask for a raise, you’re telling your employer that you deserve to be compensated equally. Think about it as taking a stand for feminism and equality everywhere, not just in your own office.

Just so everyone understands me, I don’t think women themselves are responsible for fixing the pay gap, but negotiating is one way you can minimize its effects. Consider this: the guy next to you in the cubicle probably already negotiated his salary, so don’t let yourself fall behind.

What Happens If They Say No?

Most people I know hate the idea of negotiating because they’re scared of the possibility that someone will say no. It’s the same fear that keeps us from asking out that cute boy who works in the coffee shop or attending the hip hop dance class at your gym.

So it’s time to face that fear: yes, your boss might say no to your request. So what happens then? You have two options. You can either walk away from that job (or quit your current one) or keep working. A writing coach once told me if you keep working for a place after they deny you a raise, you basically signal to them that you were just bluffing.

However, I’ve negotiated and not gotten more and still kept working. Some companies truly can’t offer more than they’re currently paying you. Either way, it’s ok to stay and it’s ok to leave. It just depends on your current situation.

If you hear a no, don’t let it sour you on negotiating. Don’t let it reinforce the idea that you don’t deserve more. And please, above all, don’t take it personally. It’s usually no reflection of your abilities, but a symptom of the company’s bottom line. It’s always ok to try again later.

Have you ever negotiated or asked for a raise? How did it go?

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How to Ask for a Raise was originally published on Debt Free After Three