#this shit feels like fucking chinese water torture

[disengaged]

wrote a 6 page acid-fueled letter to my ex about how i’m still in love with him and probably always will be, blah blah blah . his reaction ?? asking if i want to go on a trip to montreal to get tattoos together

[moth-eats-paper]

UPDATEEEEE

I've made it to season four so here's an updated log of the Magnus archives thingy mubob (this contains spoilers :3.)

Oh the pig no no like you sir

Oh god I guess this pig is a weird thing

THE CIRCUS?

Oh god not more circuses

Oh dear I think the pig has decided to eat clowns now

Oh self cannibalism

Whelp the pig ate someone

Loud sound

The eyes doing it's thing

JOHN DOING THE THING WITH THE EYE

Tim keeps scaring people

Tims not ok

OMG TIM STATEMENT

Tims brother went missing

I don't think it's Tim's brother

Whelp he's gone

Oh clowns know

OH DEAR CLOWNS

I don't think that's your brother Tim

Oh blood

Oh dead clown

Oh no more skin .

Oh famous clown

Tim and Elias drama

Oh we're in China

Oh creepy opening

I wonder. Is this in Chinese? I know that the eye can allow you to read other languages in order to obtain more knowledge. Even if you never spoke that language or were able to read it you just suddenly are able to.

Oh screams

Nevermind I'm pretty sure it's in English cause it seems the person writing it is a British soldier

Does he have the black plague?

OH DEAD BODYS IN THE WATER

Oh-

This is a sad man

“True and total war”

GOD DAMMIT NO CIRCUS

HE CAN READ MANDARIN AND AND CHINESE NOW (cause of the eye)

IT WAS FROM 2004 NOT 2014

Oh the proper one's are in America

Space station time

I wonder if this is the same space station as the one Gertrude read

I think she kept talking about it in one of the statements well more specifically the guy who it is from

We love Melanie (even though she keeps trying to kill Elias but she has a good reason)

FAIRCHILD IS BACK

IT IS THE SAME SPACESHIP BUT JUST A DIFFERENT GUY

Because the one Gertrude read was the isolation guy. This is about the other two people who were on the ship

Oh god the space weird space hands are back I think

Oh blood

Oh he's bleeding

Oh god he's just going to let himself die

Old screaming things

Don't envy the isolation guy he had a really shit time

Whelp now he's in limbo space

OH SOMETHING'S BLOCKING THE STARS

Oh deep thoughts

Melanie is thinking deep

She's skeptical of stuff

Oh dear

IS HE STUCK IN SPACE

Viscera I think is how to pronounce her name?

MARTIN HAS A CRUSH ON JOHN?

Viscera and Melanie are gossiping and I'm here for it

Oh performance review

OH GOD ELIAS

JESUS CHRIST ELIAS STOP LEAVE POOR MELIAINE ALONE

WHAT DID HE DIE OF

WHY DID YOU GIVE HER THE KNOWLEDGE OF HIM DYING

THAT'S TERRIFYING

He can just make her watch her dad's death!

I want texas toast I'm going to go make some

JOHNS IN AMERICA

Whelp he's being followed by a police officer

And Jared's “death”

GERTRUD WAS ARRESTED FOR BREAKING INTO A MORGUE

He just has to read statements to make him feel better

A screaming oven lovely

OH THERE'S A FIRE

OH A TRAINS ON FIRE

What do you mean you'd burn them?

John is better!

OH SHIT IT'S THE POLICE

WHAT IS THAT ACCENT

OH MY GOD ITS THE VAMPIRE HUNTER

YIPPEE MARTIN

I fucking hate Shakespeare

Lovely more masks

Poor Tim

And Melanie

AWW

OH SHIT

SOMETHINGS HAPPENING

PETER LUCAS IS BACK

Lucas seams so silly

Viscera gets really excited about her reading and I love that about her

Mmm more statements

I'm pretty sure John just asked for a statement because he was starting to feel sick lol

MORE VAMPIRES (I think) YIPPEE

His accent is kinda hard to understand

BODYS IN BOX

Spoopy people

Love how she calls the vampire hunter old man

Oh bodys on table

Silent screamers

OH WATER

Staby stab

Oh she killed him

OH SPOOKY THING

HAHAH DOLL THING (why is his voice kinda-)

More Marten :3

This girl sounds like an asshole

THIS PERSONS TRANS TDZSDHUGDZ

That is a long ass name

“Spiders are eating” PFF

Oh don't walk into people's jaws

Mmm Japanese spider movies

YOU HAD TO TRY AND CONVINCE YOURSELF HE ONLY HAD TWO ARMS

Oh spoopy

Oh they found A Way to distract Elias

A leitner?

JARED

Jared is cool

Jared's mom was an ass

Hmmm more things to kill and torture everyone

I keep forgetting meat is in this

Jared is so sad

MURDER

YIPPEE VISCERA

We're back in America and they found a bomb and the taxidermy or what's left of it

John and Tim drama

YIPPEE TIM A JOHN ARE OK

Oh tunnels

Bomb time

The meats back

LITENER

No more arm

And now he's in the water

PFFF

HELEN

Aww

YIPPEE SPOOPY

Meeting timeee

Gurtrud tape time

Wolfgang?

Puppets?

I think this is from a older time in europe because of the writing and how it is worded

DON'T GO

Mmm more robotic things

OH GOD A STAGE

Mmm birbs

BLOOD

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CURL YOUR LEGS INTO A FIST

Funsies

Oh he's being protective of martennnnn

PLANS

SECRET PLANSSS

JOHN STATEMENT HDHJDGKDVJHK

Awww john

ITS LIGHTENERS

Melines to relatable

MELANIE STATEMENT

MARTIN NFSUSSTUDIY

TIMM

Aww goodbye Jarey

mmm masquerade

MARTIN!!

“sorry Elias I can't hear you there's a DOOR in the way” I love marten

Hehehe bomb

Oh god marten don't die

OH GOD THAT'S NOT WAX WORK

MARTIN NO

ELIAS FUCK YOU

Uh oh

SILLY MUSIC

WHAT'S HAPPENING

Mmm nothing is everything and everything is something

God what is happening

EYE THINGGGG

TIMMM

TIM SET OFF THE BOOM

Oh

What the fuck is this

He's not responseuve

Oh eye always watching

ELIAS STATEMENT?

(I'm listening to this for a second time)

Hehehe sad man

Oh

Oh dear

THE ELBOWS DON'T WORK

The sky?

Oh

OH

Ma ma that's not edible

I don't want the box to sing

NOT THE COFFIN

Oh tunnel

Hmmm blood

TRAIN TIME

Hmmm watching

WHERE'D SHE GO

Oh dig

DOOR

Ants?

Oh

He screams

Who are we watching?

MARTIN

What

ARE TIM AND DAISY DEAD?

Bye Eliasss

PFFFF

OH

Lucassss

YIPPEE PETER

NO TIM AND DAISY ARE DEAD

Season 4 babyyy

Oh

Poor marten

This is so sad

Oh

WHAT

WHAT DO YOU MORE GOODBYE

First actual episode of season 4 :3

Oh?

WHO IS THIS

WHAT

WHERE

YOU SAW JOHN IN A DREAM?

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

Oh statement

He sees how people die funnn

“What am I?” I ask that often

Oh

OH

Ship into the middle of nowhereeeee

MEMENTO THING

Snakes?

Oh

Nevermind it's death

Why ya calm

Oh

Did you accidentally kill a bunch of people

Nope

YOU GOT A GUN?

YOU KILLED THE CAPTAIN!????

oh

OH GOD YOU KILLED EVERYONE

This is this Oliver guy

SPIDERS

Oh

That's funnn

Oh boy

Melanie (I think it's her)might have scared him off

Oh

OH

JOHNS AWAKE?

Zombieeee

I keep sending the homophobic vase because I can

oh no it was gorge

AND VISCERA

Magic tape?

JOHN!

HIII JOHN

oh

6 MONTHS

He's very confused and I can see why

Hehehe eye thing

Statement timeeee

YOU CUT SOMEBODY'S HANDS?

I think this dudes on something

Maybe

Idk any more everything is odd

YOUR BEING FOLLOWED MX STATEMENT PERSON

Oh

This person's a little silly

Awww I love John

Even though he keeps making have deep thoughts

THEY CAN'T FIND DAISY'S BODY?

Oh oh god marten are you okay buddy

Oh

Aww

He miss his boyfriend (I'm desperately waiting for them to get together)

W E B yippee

Oh god meline she's very traumatized

Oh

Oh that hurt

OH MY GOD THEY'RE GETTING ATTACKED BY THINGS

(Not at the moment)

I think everyone's losing it

HE JUST CALLED HIMSELF THE ARCHIVIST NOT “Johnathan Sims head archivist” JUST THE FUCKING ARCHIVEST

EVERYONE IS EITHER DEAD, PART OF SOMETHING, FUCKING LOOSING IT OR ALL THREE.

[bulldyke-rider]

our mothers are clones of each other and i feel the exact same fucking way about mine. she does the same shit to me. day in day out. every day of this. like emotional chinese water torture

I start my laundry at 9am while she's at work because her room is by the laundry room, and I know she doesn't want to be bothered. She screams if anyone asks her to run errands after she leaves work.

She waits until I get home from work to make noise outside my room. She'll pick me up from work and then go to 3 or 4 places with me in the car instead of going those places before picking me up.

When I was in highschool, she'd pick me up 45 minutes after school ended and scream at me if I was in the building waiting on her instead of outside because I was apparently wasting her time.

[rockinmyownboat]

Vindieziel Wooksvagen:

The Nazi Pinata

There's a phrase i use all the time to encapsulate those insane moments when life spirals out of control like a freebasing pimp on the freeway. When life is on its way to smack me, fuck me and steal my money, i just bend over, smile and say,

"It is what it is."

I love it. You literally can't say anything more. Complain all you want, but what good will it do?

It is. What it is.

Heres an example of a great use of this timeless classic.

I bought a used car. Its A jetta TDI. Its a great drive. Fast as hell. Powerful. Handles like a fucking dream, the way that fine German cars are designed to. You could take this thing on the autobahn and it would cling to every curve like silk on a supermodel.

The car has been running great, mechanically, which is EXACTLY what i wanted. I prayed for that. I asked God for it.

I said, "God, give me A mechanically sound car that hauls ass. And please give me a ripped guardian angel who can keep up. I can install my own stereo deck. Amen"

And i left it at that.

God answers prayers.

With a sense of humor.

This spunky little German is my Nazi pinata. Just one bad surprise after another.

Here's the conversation that's been going through my head every day for the last 4 days since Snowmageddon '23 besieged the citizens of Portland.

I preface this with the fact that ive owned this car less than 2 months.

Me: Gosh...Driving around on a tire steadily leaking is bad enough. Now i have to do it on ice, like... what the fuck am i? a German figure skater with a burst breast implant?

wait .... i can pump it up ....i have a portable air compressor. Im good there....

There we go. Tires pumped. Im as pumped as my tire. Pump up the jams, and Lets go. Driving a diesel on ice makes me feel like im on Ice Road Truckers.

BRING IT ONNNN....

>a few minutes later, staring at the low tire air indicator on the dash, while slipping and sliding down thick sheets of ice that were streets yesterday<

Inner voice : Change the bloody tire...?

Me: Well... i can't.... there's........ no tire places open ... everything's Frozen ... gotta let it go...

IV: You have a bloody spare, you idiot! You could change your own tire, right??? You're as worthless as pig shit on an oil pan aren't you??

Me: Well no ... I'm not .... i could change my own tire...

>lightbulb< I have a spare! SAVED!!!

... wait ....

oh no ....

IV: Where in the bloody hell is the sodding tire jack???

Me: ummm ......

Damn.

IV: Well shit to that idea. Good thing you thought to check for that at the dealership when you bought the car, you fuckin muppet!

Me, somewhat frazzled: Okay, but i got roadside assistance? ATT? Farmers? AAA???? They could come out to put the spare on for me... yes! Ill call them! One of them HAS to be able to make this happen ....

IV: Ha!! Guess what? They have the EXACT BLOODY SAME service provider pool. No responses to level 2 requests. Emergencies only. Blizzard trumps all like its trying to make Oregon less than great again. Foiled again!

>this is where i start slowly breaking down as my inner Chef Ramsay lets loose with a tirade<

Oh hey, don't forget the check engine lights still on, and it will beep incessantly like a digital chinese water torture device.

>anxiety reaching critical levels<

And the driver side handle is still busted from the LAST ice storm, so good luck on those contortionist skills. Every day, you'll open up the driver side door through the back door, from the inside...

Get creative and think thin, you chunky monkey.

Lets add 14 inches of ice and snow to add a degree of coordination challenges as you're trying to get on the road for work, Slippy mcLegstretchy

>anxiety at maximum capacity<

As you settle in with broken seat warmers, take some more snow and smile as you choke on it.

Mother Natures on the rag and you're her bloody tampon.

>critical point reached. Its time to scream<

As i slide down an icy urban Slip'n'Slide, im minnowing back behind a city bus doing a fishtail -- wait no ... i guess its a whale-tail....

...lets be accurate....

...I think to myself .... it is what it is.

[silastheanon]

Upredictable twice in one day

@professionallydeadinside Y’all been good you get two chapters in one day. It’s shorter than the other but merry christmas

You can read it on AO3:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/35050705/chapters/87403864

Or, just below!

They were back at the dinner table, Joe and the man. The boy had just recently been put into Joe’s guest bedroom after he had fallen asleep on the couch. 

The soup had been drained, and by the end, the boy’s eyes were dry and colour was returning to his face. He was fast asleep within five minutes, collapsed against his father and wrapped up in his coat. Even in his sleep, the boy refused to be taken out of the jacket, and it didn’t take his father very long before he relented and accepted he wasn’t getting his coat back until the next day. 

That led them to where they were, sitting at the table. 

Apparently later had meant when the boy was asleep, as the man hadn’t said a word to Joe after that one. In fact, the only time he spoke was to the boy.

The man heaved a great sigh, bringing a hand to his face. Yes, that was another thing. 

When the boy had taken the jacket, it was revealed to Joe that the man had a T-shirt on underneath, which was horrible for Joe’s blood pressure and heart. Things were undeniably serious, and bad things were happening of Umbrella was involved, but Joe was lonely, damn it! The only people he ever really saw were his brother’s family, and he wasn’t about to get horny over his brother, or his nephew. Joe was fucked, but not that fucked. 

The man was even bulkier than Joe had guessed. There wasn’t any wedding ring on, and the kid hadn’t asked for any other parent, so Joe didn’t feel like too much of an asshole for picturing arms corded with muscle and large hands and-- he needed to fucking stop. 

“So. . .Umbrella?” Joe offered a tentative smile, hoping talking would distract him from thinking about the, all things considered, stranger. 

If looks could kill, Joe would be a puddle of goo in his chair. 

“Hm. Can’t tell you much, but the name’s Urias. M’son is Karl,” Urias and Karl, taking on the world. Joe could see the movie poster perfectly. 

Urias lightly explained what had happened, though explained seemed a strong word. It seemed most details were omitted, and Joe was largely lost. 

A crazy woman claiming to be god lied, took Karl, did some twisted shit to him, Urias found out, kicked her ass, took his kid back, Umbrella cared about the fucked up shit, wanted to see the aftermath, stole Karl, Urias stole Karl back, escaped Umbrella, and punched Redfield in the nose. 

So THAT’S why he had the broken nose, good to know, Joe thought. 

Urias had then stolen a car, drove all the way down to Louisiana, drove it into a wall, ran into the bayou, and eventually found Joe’s humble abode, and the rest was history. 

Honestly, Joe wasn’t near as afraid or weirded out as he should’ve been. He knew he wasn’t, but he didn’t really care. His nephew had figured out how to perform Chinese water torture on rats when he was four. 

Very little surprises someone after that. 

“So, what I’m gettin’ at ‘ere is, yer a damned good dad. Lord knows if my dad was half as good as you, my brother and I wouldn’t already be going gray,” Urias looked very, very confused, “Long story.” 

And that was that. 

“Thank you for hiding us, and feeding us, and letting Karl sleep in your guest room, but we can’t stay--”

“Hold on there,” Joe interrupted, “where’ll you go? You’s ain’t gonna be able to go anywhere, not for a while. Them’s hear of a man and a boy by your names, you’ll both be dead meat. Could get a fake name, change your hair, your eyes, and they’ll still find ya’s. Dunno what happened to the lad, or why Umbrella gives a rats ass, but my money’s on the idear it’ll become somethin’ kinda physical, what with them lookin’ for bioweapons and all. Said this woman’s smart but crazy, yeah? Bet she cut into him, and if she did that, chances are there’s a scar. Umbrella’s powerful enough they can get all German kids--you two are German, yes? Ya called yer boy engelchen, that’s German, made a guess from there, stop lookin’ at me like that--all the German kids in North America to line up and strip to look for scars, and the government ain’t gonna do a damned thing because they’re lookin’ for bioweapons. Yer boy ain’t gonna be safe for a long, long time, if ever. I’m yer best bet. Don’t wanna live with me? Fine, but at least stay in this part a the bayou.”

Urias was staring holes into the table, though his face and eyes betrayed no emotions. Finally, Urias looked up and nodded. 

“Okay,” he said, “We’ll stay with you, as long as you can stand us.” 

Well. 

Seemed Joe had some guests to prepare for. 

[translations-by-aiimee]

Dig a Grave to Dig Out a Ghost - Chapter 5

Original Title: 挖坟挖出鬼

Genres: Drama, Horror, Mystery, Supernatural, Yaoi

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5 - Expert

The subsequent calm was something Lin Yan wasn't expecting. The thing seemed to have decided it tortured him enough and nothing else happened the rest of the night. Lin Yan changed back into his clothes and unplugged his computer. Even though he knew that that probably wouldn't do anything, the screen actually powered off and didn't come back on at all in the night.

Perhaps a new storm was brewing in the silence, but Lin Yan was too exhausted to worry about it. The alcohol that was left in his system worked as a great tranquillizer, and he rolled over and fell asleep.

While he was deep in sleep, something cold pressed itself on his lips again, but Lin Yan was too much a heavy sleeper to realize it.

When he woke up, the entire room was clean. All the red paint had disappeared, the light gray printed wallpaper and the screen wall painted by the students of the Academy of Fine Arts were intact, and the glass was spotless. There was no other evidence to prove that the absurdity of last night had ever happened except for the shameful traces of liquid on Lin Yan's body and clothes. He took a bath and threw the red clothes into the washbowl. Compared with the power of the invisible thing, he was clearly at a disadvantage. Instead of running around without a plan, it was better to observe what happens as things unravel.

After he finished packing things up, Lin Yan took out his phone and texted Yin Zhou about the meeting place. Unexpectedly, he got a reply almost instantly: See you at the school gate in half an hour.

Lin Yan looked at himself in the mirror. Within just two nights, he looked like he had been doing drugs for years, he had a scruffy stubble growing, and his eyes were red. The mint scent of his shaving foam made Lin Yan feel for the first time that his typically monotonous life was actually so much more beautiful than that. The blade was thin and sharp. Just one long stroke across his neck and there would be nothing left.

Humans were such fragile creatures.

"Shit. . ." Lin Yan hissed, sighing at his unfortunate luck and put his fingers under the water. His hand had slipped and he sliced his fingertip on the blade, red blood seeping out. Lin Yan wrapped a bandaid around his finger, leaning against the wall and pondering about how unlucky it was to feel the pain.

He didn't know what kind of dye was used on the funeral clothes, but it had bled dramatically in the water. After a while, the whole basin of water had been dyed red. Lin Yan glanced at it in disgust as he left and slammed the door shut.

At 8 o'clock, Lin Yan saw Yin Zhou holding a Scallion pancake and some fruit in front of the school gate.

The two of them regretted trying to drive. The roads were clogged with morning rush hour traffic to the point that they couldn't even see the end of the lines of cars. What genius designed this kind of urban roundabout? Five ring roads surrounded the main road and they were forced to convene together every morning and night.

Lin Yan and Yin Zhou were nearing the third ring road and they still didn't have any temper, so all they could do was turn on the radio and eat the breakfast that Yin Zhou brought.

"A 13-year-old boy from a remote village in Sichuan was found hanged at home wearing a red coat. The locals suspected it was most likely cult-related. It is reported that the boy's time of birth and time of death are both extremely negative times and very suitable for. . ."

Lin Yan snapped the radio off.

It seemed that everything in the world had been messed up overnight. Even this kind of unreliable news could be relayed to the public.

Yin Zhou didn't care. He swallowed the last bite of his pancake and hiccuped. He said with satisfaction: "I spent the rest of the night in the library. I was starving and I couldn't buy anything. It's great to feel full."

"There was no exam recently, what were you doing at the library?"

"I was studying the enemy's intelligence. This enemy works in the dark. Can we defeat it if we understand how it operates? What do you think, buddy?"

Lin Yan turned his face to look at the crowded traffic outside the window. He stayed silent for a while before he said softly, "Do you really believe that there are ghosts in this world? I feel like something is wrong with me. Maybe I should see a psychiatrist first."

Yin Zhou's eyes widened in surprise: "Come on, even if something's up with you, I'm totally normal, yet we both saw those clothes yesterday."

". . . At your house the day before yesterday, I was the only one who thought it was cold, and I was the only one who could feel ‘it’ in the house."

Lin Yan sorted out his thoughts and told Yin Zhou his experience of being choked by someone last night.

Lin Yan wasn't expecting it but Yin Zhou exploded after hearing this, and blurted out: "Fuck, that ghost was a rabbit master* during his lifetime?" He scanned Lin Yan's face over and over again: "Little Brother Lin, don't tell me. . . you can be considered a nice-looking guy if you look closely. He's dead and maybe he's lonely and wants to recruit you as his wife."

*because they would kill the rabbit by snapping its neck

"Fuck you. If you aren't going to be serious, get out of my car and leave. Don't forget to burn two boxes of condoms for me when I croak." Lin Yan said quietly. The car behind him honked its horn twice, and Lin Yan realized that while he was talking, a 5-6 metre gap had cleared in front of him. He hurriedly followed the line of traffic.

"Furthermore, in the middle of the night, I obviously saw that the whole house was covered with red paint, but in the morning there was nothing. It was as if I had been dreaming."

Yin Zhou dragged the backpack out of the back seat and hugged it in his arms. He said, "Hey, let me show you the results of my brother's research." As he talked, he opened his bag and took out a dozen crumpled papers from it and spread them out on his knees. He flattened them with his hands and started going over them from top to bottom.

"You can't take care of shit. I feel uncomfortable just looking at those."

"See, the attributes of a wife. This ghost saw it perfectly."

A grass mud horse roared and ran across Lin Yan's heart.

Sure enough, these geeks are something else.

"Listen carefully." Yin Zhou pushed up his glasses with his long fingers: "There are generally two modern interpretations of ghosts. The first is due to the discovery of dark matter. You know the law of conservation of energy?"

". . . Go on." Lin Yan gave him a blank look.

"The universe expands at a certain rate every year. If the law of conservation of energy goes as normal, where does the energy that supports the expansion of the universe come from? According to this question, modern physics puts forward the concept of dark matter and dark energy. It does not generate electromagnetic waves, cannot be sensed, and cannot be measured. The law of gravity estimates that dark matter and energy account for 96% of the mass of the universe, and the remaining 4% is what humans can now recognize."

"Many unexplainable phenomena are therefore attributed to the results of dark matter, such as meridians in traditional Chinese medicine, the power of the mind, and ghosts. There are many discussions on this field abroad, but it is obviously blocked in China and difficult to find." Yin Zhou spread out his hands.

Lin Yan nodded. This was a bit like a science fiction novel he had read once.

"And the second one?"

"The second type is attributed to electromagnetic waves. The environment in which the deceased died is not conducive to electromagnetic wave attenuation. The powerful thoughts it had before death form a unique energy field. If a person's own frequency is similar to it, it will resonate when they come into contact. The waveform of the original ghost is greatly strengthened so then the two can sense each other."

Lin Yan was stunned: "You mean I. . . resonate with the ghost?"

Yin Zhou said indifferently that it was possible. He turned and smiled mysteriously: "Do you know how to explain love at first sight using electromagnetic fields?"

Lin Yan's heart stuttered.

"It's just resonating. It's the same with both men and women."

Yin Zhou sighed: "I don't want to fall in love for a while. It's boring, it's like a ghost."

The cars finally started moving again, and they finally got off the third road ring after being stuck for three hours. Lin Yan turned on the navigation and stepped on the accelerator to hurry towards the destination.

He always thinks that love was just like a ghost; he didn't believe in either. He only understood the panic and anxiety he felt when he encountered it, but he has never imagined that ghosts were also like love, triggered by a specific reason in a specific environment and dragged forcibly into the abyss, unable to escape.

"Have you been in touch with anything special recently, or have you been to anywhere special?"

Lin Yan thought about it for a moment and shook his head: "No. Every day I'm in the study room, tutor's office, library, home, cafeteria, there's nowhere else. But I have come into a lot of contact with lots of things from several dynasties."

Yin Zhou clumped the pile of information in his hand, and put it into back his backpack despite Lin Yan's contemptuous eyes, and clicked the buckle shut.

"Impossible. The electromagnetic waves would have decayed early in a small object, even if the Maoshan technique was used."

A thought suddenly flashed through Lin Yan's mind.

"There was this one place. . .Last month, my old man arranged an internship position for me on an archaeological team. It was a tomb with small specifications. I was there for less than a week."

Yin Zhou's eyes lit up all of a sudden: "There's this show, we should wait and check it. . . what the fuck!"

Lin Yan slammed on the brakes. Yin Zhou's head slammed into the windshield with a bang, and he wailed in pain.

"What are you doing?! Braking like that is going to kill you. What if we got rear-ended?!"

Lin Yan looked at the empty windshield in shock. He pulled the car over and, when he turned to Yin Zhou, his face changed.

"You. . . didn't see that just now?"

"What!" Yin Zhou took off the glasses that had been knocked off-kilter, trying to push them into their original spot, and couldn't help complaining in grief.

"There was a hand. . . stretching down from the roof of the car."

Yin Zhou was stunned and looked up at the window glass cautiously. A truck came up from behind, went around their car and drove on.

Lin Yan was too scared to speak for a while. He recalled the stiff white hand that had slapped on the windshield from the roof of the car just now, but it disappeared in a blink of an eye. There were speeding trucks or tankers everywhere on the sixth ring road. He opened his mouth and looked at Yin Zhou. The other party understood his thoughts immediately. Yin Zhou took a breath and hesitated: "Then this thing. . . it wants a human life."

Lin Yan shook his head. He always felt that there was some motive behind everything that had happened, but he couldn't say it out loud.

They drove out of the city in a blink of an eye. The endless rows of poplar trees and the green border fields in the suburbs relaxed the tension of the two people in the car a lot. Lin Yan rolled down the car window, and the car air mixed with the fragrance of flowers and plants that poured in. Inside the car, the stuffy scent of the pancakes was blown away.

After the twist and turns the GPS took them on, the car turned onto a rugged path paved with stones. The surrounding buildings were replaced with independent bungalows and small farmyards. A yellow dog squatted on the steps and stretched its neck. Some hens gathered in groups lazily together. Every now and again, they passed by a white goose on the side of the road. Lin Yan slowed down and stared at the map displayed on the GPS. He glanced at Yin Zhou distrustfully.

"If I keep going, I'll have to turn around to go back to the village. Did your mother send us to a reclusive expert?"

Yin Zhou leaned over to study the map, then turned his head in confusion and looked out the window. He happened to pass by a house, a yellow mud bungalow, with a faded couplet on the door. The old man in front of it only lost two front teeth, and he was leaning back to watch the excitement. . Yin Zhou scratched his scalp suspiciously: "The address my mother gave is at the end of the village, and she said it was amazing. Let me buy some tributes to bring with me. I can't do it alone."

So Lin Yan stopped the car when passing by the market, and bought two gifts according to Yin Zhou's suggestion. . . that bastard.

"Are you sure about all this?" Lin Yan looked embarrassedly left and right, carrying a live turtle in one hand and walking back, Yin Zhou happily pointed at the turtle's head and said, "What do you know? , These kinds of psychic masters rely on this stuff to keep up with their lifestyle. Trust me."

Lin Yan threw the two bastards into the trunk, took out a bottle of mineral water and handed it to Yin Zhou. He also opened a bottle for himself and took a few sips.

The country cicadas cried one after another, and the green wheat was headed; it was a wonderful scene of peace and prosperity.

Several children wearing red and green were squatting on the ground playing fan cards not far away. Lin Yan asked Yin Zhou: "What did your mother saw that name of the expert was? I'll ask around."

He couldn't help but imagine a scene of a bamboo hut with a mantle drooping in front of the porch. An old man in white with his hand stroked his beard and smiled slightly. He and Yin Zhou knelt forward on one knee, clasping their fists and begging, "Master, please guide me!"

Yin Zhou took a note from his pocket. He squinted at it, and said perplexedly: "Second Immortal Gu."

Before Lin Yan had enough time to swallow, all the water was spat back out.

"Ahem. . . is that so?"

In a small courtyard in the northeast corner of the village, Lin Yan and Yin Zhou found the legendary Second Immortal Gu’s house. When Lin Yan saw Second Immortal Gu's respectable face from outside the door, the regret in his heart was like torrential rapids. There was an enclave in an empty black room; he didn't know which god was being worshipped. An old woman in blue flower cloth sat cross-legged on the futon with her eyes closed and rests her mind. The red cloth strip that was tied to her forehead was quite imposing.

"This posture rivals some of the best dancers out there!" Yin Zhou pointed at the scene inside and couldn't help muttering softly.

"Come on, this is who your mother mentioned. Be respectful." Lin Yan said embarrassedly.

"What should we do?"

"Let's take a look first. Maybe the real person hasn't shown up."

Lin Yan and Yin Zhou walked through the door. Hearing the movement, the immortal woman lifted her eyelids slightly, and hummed from her nose aimlessly.

"Oh, ahem. . ." Yin Zhou couldn't hold back his grin and quickly concealed it with a cough.

What happened later was a farce. After receiving the turtle and two hundred yuan brought by Lin Yan, the woman suddenly became energetic. She worshipped the gods with incense and poured a bowl of clear water on Lin Yan while muttering words. After turning around Lin Yan more than ten times, she finally opened his eyes sharply. Lin Yan was so frightened by her that his body was shocked. The only thing she did was shout: "Aha! I saw it!"

"There is a little girl standing behind you!"

Lin Yan and Yin Zhou looked at each other, each holding their breaths.

"Oh, this baby girl died terribly. She said that she was locked up and could not be born. She didn't have money to buy clothes, and she didn't have money to pay her way through death. That's why she's gotten involved with you. . ."

"Wait, I'll ask her how to resolve this. . ."

The immortal woman closed her eyes and began to sing. Lin Yan pointed at the door to Yin Zhou and said: "Do you need someone to grease your feet, what are you waiting for?"

After reciting a long list of words, she opened her eyes and saw that there were no longer two other people in the room.

The immortal woman had no choice but to touch the newly collected two hundred yuan and shook her head, muttering that the young people nowadays are really impatient. Then she staggered around to pack her things up.

When she picked up the bastard turtle, she couldn't help but give a long sigh.

[cynthiaandsamus]

Custom Toonami Block Week 71 Rundown!

Code Geass: Lelouch establishes the Black Knights floating iceburg country complete with representatives and shit and somehow no one on the team monitoring Lelouch notices he disappears right when Zero is exiled, like yeah half of them are in Lelouch’s pocket anyway but you’d think him just yeeting himself out of the country would be difficult to hide from the oversight committee. Anyway Brittania being Brittania is going to have a political wedding with the Chinese Disturbingly Loli Empress and their literal oldest Prince, like they couldn’t even pick a slightly younger prince to make this less creepy, it’s literally the First Prince who’s like 40, I’m sure Charles has fucked more recently and they have a younger prince but no we have to really hammer home how creepy this is. So yeah now that Lelouch’s new band is under the Chinese banner, having them make peace with Brittania and sell them out would be bad so Lelouch decides to crash the celebration and… challenge Schnizel to Chess, because reasons. And both of them just proceed to completely ignore the rules of Chess for shit that’s thematically appropriate before Nina tries to stab Zero and Schnizel says he has all he needs about who Zero really is. Also Milly’s here and I feel bad for her because all of her friends are several degrees down the sanity cliff now and she’s just there trying to hold their cliché student council group together while wondering if she really will have to marry Lloyd or not because it’s been a year and they threw together this Chinese marriage in like two days so who knows anymore. Anyway Xingke crashes the wedding because of his adorable backstory with the Empress and Lelouch crashes Xingke’s crashing of the wedding by literally appearing out of nowhere which is pretty good for a guy as shitty at athletics as Lelouch and also Jeremiah is on a chair in a desert and this is important or something.

Inuyasha: So we start the Panther Deva filler arc and it’s pretty good honestly, we have an array of Captain Planet Panthers to fight with elemental powers of varying strength to give Koga, Miroku, Sango and Sesshomaru something to do so it’s not just the Inuyasha Wind Scar Power Hour and we have some good foreshadowing/fluff of Inuyasha eating steak in the modern era and fucking around with Kagome’s cat and pissing it off which is a good thematic throughline about how petty cats are and the whole thing has this sunset coloring and it’s really pretty. Anyway Kagome gets captured, you know how it goes, Koga’s pissed because Inuyasha is always letting Kagome get captured and he has a fucking point, bitch is captured more than Princess Peach at this point. But turns out the Panther Demons run behind a barrier and too bad for them Inuyasha just got a new anti-barrier sword to try out.

Yu Yu Hakusho: So Suzaku’s kind of broken, he can dispel his clones to heal himself which apparently gives him all of his energy back because he went from exhausted to just being able to re-do the clones again and start blasting Yusuke so he heals and rests indefinitely as long as one of the clones is alive that’s fucking insane. Anyway apparently despite just healing, Suzaku got his guidance system damaged by Yusuke’s first attack and his aim has been getting progressively worse so he just has to sit there with stormtrooper aim winging Yusuke now and then to torture the poor guy despite going Super Saiyan last time Yusuke only had one shot in him but now he does the whole Life Chakra deal and gives his life for one more even Super Saiyan-yer burst and Shotguns Suzaku’s clones into dust and somehow transmits energy to Keiko through the tv to protect her. It’s pretty convenient that Yusuke learned an AOE attack right before fighting someone that needs all of their clones to be killed at the same time to stay down but yeah, arc over, pretty fun, Yusuke pulled so much power out of his ass he literally dies but some spirit mouth to mouth with Kuwabara saves him with surprisingly little consequences for either of them while Hiei says he’d never drag himself down to save anyone and I’m sure that won’t come back to haunt him. Also Yusuke FINALLY tells Keiko he’s a Spirit Detective given this is like the third time she’s been held hostage by a demon she probably should’ve figured this out sooner.

Fate Zero: Caster’s sitting there talking about how Saber is his waifu and like dude Saber is EVERYONE’s waifu but apparently it’s not actually Saber he’s after but a Saberface so he’s not wrong but he’s also not right. So yeah, he orders more child murders which knowing this guy there isn’t a situation that calls for less child murders. Also Lancer’s teacher asshole dude is cheating by using two E-Tanks for his servant after being all ‘haha old magician families are just better lol’ he has to use two dudes to make his servant fight and still got rolled by Iskandar. Also Kiritgusu bombs the fuck out of his building which given this takes place in 1994 is probably in very poor taste. Also Kirei meets Kiritsugu’s battle maid and shit goes down but everyone’s like “Okay Caster’s more insane than usual so we should probably take care of that” and Gilgamesh claims he’s gonna teach Kirei about pleasure while shirtlessly drinking wine so there’s that.

Konosuba: So Dio-voice Dullahan is back and he’s pissed because Megumin keeps getting off to destroying his home. Though through a combination of luck, Darkness being a meatshield, Aqua’s absurd water/holy power and Kazuma’s dumb luck along with Megumin blowing up the henchmen, everyone plays a role in defeating him in the most ridiculous manner possible. Despite not actually getting any money from it, it’s nice to see the group come together and actually accomplish something in their own way. Makes me think maybe this series won’t just be dicking around about nothing forever, which is fun don’t get me wrong but I don’t think I could stand 52 episodes of one note character jokes with absolutely no progression.

Sailor Moon Crystal: Tuxedo Mask blows the load on the whole Silver Crystal deal to the whole town so now everybody knows about it and can keep an eye out for it. So despite Tuxedo Mask being nothing but helpful Luna assumes he still may be bad and has the power to brainwash a whole town despite his only notable skills thusfar have been standing on telephone poles like Itachi Uchiha and cheerleading. Anyway Luna takes everyone to Zordon’s Morphing Control Center under the aracade which you think would’ve come up by now and reveals she’s a moon cat which you think also would’ve come up by now. Luna’s really just been “We gotta do the thing cause I say so” this entire time. Anyway they wreck the tv broadcast and kick the King’s ass but we have a Disc One Final Boss as Queen Beryl shows up and uses her Conqueror’s Haki to knock out the other Guardians without touching them while Usagi has an existential crisis about her crush maybe being problematic. They give motivational speeches to each other, basically Usagi telling him that they both have to try harder despite feeling powerless and them immediately wilting and saying she’s hopless so he can have a turn giving her a speech and then she gets surprised when he knows she’s Sailor Moon despite literally just telling him she’s the leader and has to help everyone and shit. Anyway, you know how this goes by now, Ancient Moon Laser Beams, bad guys fall, Queen retreats and Usagi wakes up in Mamoru’s apartment ready to reenact Fifty Shades of Moon. Hey an actual fucking cliffhanger for once, that’s kinda neat.

Durarara!!:  Mikado’s plan finally comes together and he meets with Ms. Yagiri while Celty confronts the girl with her head who says her name is also Celty. We get Mikado’s backstory about basically creating Reddit to make The Dollars a Stand Alone Complex, a gang that doesn’t actually exist outside of the rumors of its existence, man this kid’s been watching too much GitS. Still despite it going predictably awful with guys doing shitty things in their name by some miracle some of Mikado’s wide-eyed optimism gets through and his belief in the good of humanity makes the Dollars a gang that’s good at its core. And now they use that good to outnumber the Yagiri goons and let Mikado get away while Celty jumps off a roof on her bike and has a mental breakdown which people seem to hear for some reason. Also Seiji broke out and is using his yandere energy to hunt down Mikado.

[danishmiilk]

kiss, marry, kill 🏹 🔪

pairing || kim doyoung (did not appear so tbh what is the point but it’s funny i swear) x fem!reader

genre || crack

warnings || swearing

au || idol!doyoung x haechan’s sister!reader

word count || 1.3k

summary || friday game night at the dreamies’, where they force you to admit that you like doyoung + you’re haechan’s sister and you visit them every friday 

note || you’re a 00′ liner! i decided that there aren’t enough doyoung fics with this kind of setting and i love the party games so here goes

“Let’s play a gameeee,” Jisung whined from his position on the couch, tangling his fingers in Chenle’s orange hair to pull himself up. It was Friday game night at the dreamies’ dorm, which was a big deal. You and the dreamies would sit around the living room with numerous card, board and video games strewn around the floor while ordering takeout for all the food you could get your hands on. These nights normally ended with the ‘127 hyungs’ bursting into the dorm a few days later and cleaning the place up for you. These cleaning sessions were normally accompanied by grumbles of, “damned pigsty” “how do the kids even live in here”. You would like to stress that nobody asked them to come down and clean the dorm because the dreamies were perfectly fine living in the poor excuse of lodgings (after all, dirty was their natural habitat), and to quote CEO Chen’s indignant comment in Mandarin, “Nobody told them they had to clean up for us! We’re perfectly fine! Now what they COULD do would be to actually cook lunch for us, because setting the whole building on fire is something nobody wants to do.” Basically, these nights were a disastrous, chaotic mess. Though everyone had to admit - it was an enjoyable one.

This one game night hadn’t been much different from the weekly ones, except (and this was a very big except) that Jisung had tripped over the carpet and spilled a whole bowl of ramen onto the gaming control, which now ceased to work. “And what do you suggest we play, monsieur Jisung? Our video game night is ruined, so thanks a lot,” Renjun groaned in obvious boredom and displeasure, finally looking up from his phone to slap Jisung’s thigh, “Oh and by the way, you’re buying us a new gaming control. We were just going to pool our money to get one for Christmas, but since you spoilt the machine, I guess our wallets are saved!” “Hyung~ I said I’m sorry! Now please please please let’s play something, I’m about to be bored to death,” Jisung pouted slightly and schooled his expression into a pleading one, with those puppy-dog eyes that always worked on his hyungs. “Fine, fine,” Jeno succumbed to the magical power of those enthralling eyes and reluctantly peeled himself off the ramen-soup-stained floor, “Should we play... blind man’s bluff?” “God, Jeno, you’re really no fun,” Donghyuck threw a rainbow-coloured sequined pillow across the room, hitting Jeno’s face perfectly. “Bullseye.” “What should we play then?” You huffed slightly impatiently. All this banter was getting you nowhere. Seeing a conspirational glance pass between Hyuck and Jaemin, you should have gotten suspicious and said no immediately, but curiosity got the better of you. “Kiss, marry, kill,” identical smug grins appeared on both the boys’ faces as they chorused the name of the suggested game. “How do you play that,” Renjun asked, furrowing his eyebrows. Did he not play that game in China, or was the game they played just another variation? You laughed and explained, “Okay, so we’ll give you three or more names, and you have to choose one person each to kiss, marry and kill. Hyuck can go first!” 

“Hmm... y/n, Mark-hyung and Jeno,” Jaemin leaned forward eagerly, eyes twinkling. “Wait... can we come to an agreement that whatever is said in this game, stays in this game?” Everyone nodded, knowing that there was to be countless litres of tea spilled during this game, making for extremely convenient blackmail. (You realised by now that nobody planned on keeping this promise). “Well... Hyuck?” Your brother shifted uncomfortably in his seat before opening and closing his mouth like a fish. You knew that he’d already come to arrive at his answer, but just could not gather the courage to actually speak it. “Go on, Hyuck, when have we ever judged you?” Jaemin stared at him with a smile that was probably supposed to be encouraging, but ended up looking creepy and maniacal. “Okay, well there was the time he tried to put cheese into his milk tea and you screamed at h-” “No, Jun, we don’t talk about that. Putting cheese into milk tea is literally a crime,” Jaemin slammed a hand over Renjun’s mouth, all the while smiling crazily at Donghyuck. “Uhh... you don’t convince me, but firstly I guess I’d kill y/n? I mean I don’t want to commit incest and she’s my sister so I’ll just throw her a grand funeral and be done with it.” You clasped a hand to your chest, pretending to be mortally hurt by your brother’s words, jerking like you just got shot, “For the 127th time, words can hurt, Hyuck! I-I’m so hurt- I’m d-dying” Ignoring your show completely, Haechan continued, “Then... I wouldn’t marry anyone I can’t kiss, and since we can kiss without any feelings involved, I’d kiss Jeno? And then gargle with holy water. Yeah I’m done, let’s continue.” “One sec, you need to say ‘I’ll marry *your choice*’ before you’re finished,” Jaemin grinned at him. “i’ll marry... Mark-hyung,” the tips of Hyuck’s ears turned red while he spoke, casting his eyes downward. “Hyuck-hyung likes Mark-hyung?” Jisung asked, eyes widening, “Wait, does that mean they’re dating?” “I do not like Mark-hyung! And even if I did, he wouldn’t like me back,” Haechan mumbled in obvious disappointment, “But anyway, enough about me! Y/n can go next!” “OOOOOOH, I KNOW HER CRUSH!” Renjun suddenly jumped up and down with glee, “LET ME ASK HER THE QUESTION.” Your eyes narrowed, shooting daggers at Renjun, whom you had only told your crush to because you were the closest to him among the NCT members and nobody tells their brother their crush. Chenle nodded quickly before telling Renjun in Mandarin, “Renjun-ge, force her to reveal her crush when she answers ‘marry’” “Chenle you little shit- I SPEAK CHINESE TOO,” you yelled in betrayal.

“Whatever, y/n. Hmm, Doyoung, Taeyong and Chenle, kiss, marry, and kill.” “Firstly, I would kill Chenle after subjecting him to hours of starvation and torture,” you basically spat in Chenle’s direction, extracting a sound of displeasure from him, “I’m too young and rich to die!” “Then, uhhh, I guess I’ll kiss Taeyong?” You were getting more uncomfortable by the minute and the dreamies could see it. “And who would you marry?” Renjun wriggled his eyebrows. “I won’t say it! I don’t want to!” You could feel your ears heating up. “Say it, or I’ll tell Taeyong-hyung that you want to kiss him,” Renjun threatened you, completely disregarding the privacy agreement. “Damn you, you bastard,” You called him some very attractive names in Mandarin before muttering at the lowest volume you could muster, “I’ll marry Doyoung, okay?” 

The whole dorm exploded into cheers, like they were cheering for their favourite football team winning the English Premier League or something. “How long have you liked Doyoung-hyung for?” “Would you KEEP IT DOWN? 127′s dorm is upstairs! WHAT IF THEY HEAR YOU,” you shouted hysterically. “HEAR WHAT,” Johnny’s voice floated down from the floor above. “Fuck. NOTHING!” you replied. “And... about two years? Ever since the empathy era?” “Noona, you and Doyoung-hyung should get married! Then invite me! And give me free food! And get hyung to cook, his cooking is amazing!” Jisung chirped excitedly from the side, running around the living room. His next step brought his bare foot into the empty bowl of ramen which he had spilt earlier, and he tripped... falling face-first into the table of food that you had ordered, spilling everything over the floor and making an even BIGGER mess. “Oh. My. God. KUN-GE!!”

[fic-for-fic-sake]

I’m Ready

A/N: This piece is about a demisexual reader. I just came out as demi and I wanted to explore that in writing. If you’re demisexual and you feel this isn’t a great depiction of it, I am open to any and all feedback you can give me! Both personally and as a writer. 

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Warnings: NSFW oral (male receiving) 

You have been dating Bucky Barnes for two months now, but you’ve been work buddies for much longer. You’ve been dating Bucky Barnes for two months now and you haven’t had any kind of sex with him. You explained to Bucky when you first started dating that you were demisexual, and that meant that you didn’t feel comfortable doing sexual things unless you had a really deep connection with the person. You told him that yes, while you knew him in a work capacity, you didn’t have an intimate bond with him yet. 

He, being the sweetest man on the planet (hidden under a gruff surface), understood completely and hadn’t pushed you to do anything you weren’t ready to do. It had been two months and all you had done was kiss, when it got more heated than a make out session you would stop and he would understand. But now you felt like you were ready to do more, which is what had you in such a state. 

Bucky would be home from therapy any minute now and you frantically kept checking the time and pacing the floor. Any minute now he would walk through that front door and you would tell him. If you were ready, then why did you feel so nervous? It’s not like you hadn’t done this before, you just hadn’t done it with him yet. But you wanted to, badly. 

You were pulled out of your contemplative bubble by the sound of keys turning the locks. Your heart rate sped up and your pacing ceased as you stood like a deer in headlights in front of the door. Bucky walked in and closed the door behind him, taking care to meticulously lock the four locks on the door. 

“Hey doll.” He greeted as he pressed a kiss to your forehead and then went to the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water. This was it, this was your big moment. How would you start the conversation? What would you say? “I was thinking maybe we could get Chinese food for di-” 

“I want to give you a blowjob.” You cut him off, not being able to hold it in anymore on account of nerves. 

“What?” He asked, incredulously, almost dropping his bottle of water. 

You took a deep breath and let it out before forcing your eyes to meet his. “I want to give you a blowjob, I’m ready to take that step with you.” 

Bucky placed his water on the counter and then slowly approached you, as if the slightest movement would scare you off. “Are you sure sweetheart? Because you don’t have to do this just for me.” He assured you as he brought a hand up to cup your cheek with. 

And it was the way that he said it that made you doubly sure now. He was so sweet and attentive and took your sexuality seriously. 

“Bucky, I-” You stopped as you felt your throat constrict. “I want to do this, for me. Please.” You brought his palm to your lips and pressed a gentle kiss there. You then folded your hand in his as you guided him with you to the bedroom. Once inside you closed the door and pressed your back against it, looking at Bucky as he stood in front of you. 

“Can you take a seat on the bed please?” You questioned softly. 

“Anything for you doll.” He said with a wink, as he placed himself on the edge of the mattress. 

“I would f-feel better if you didn’t touch me, okay? So just, keep your hands to yourself.” 

“Scouts honor.” He replied, lifting his hand in the imitation of a boy scout salute. 

“You were never a boy scout.” You chuckled as you moved closer to him, taking a seat on his lap, and placing your arms on his shoulders. 

“Yeah I was, made it all the way to Eagle scout.” He whispered as you inched your lips closer to his. 

“Sure.” You responded, as you smiled and slanted your lips over his in a lazy kiss. You felt him smile into the kiss as well and wrap his arms, one metal and one flesh, around your waist to pull you in closer to him. 

“No touching.” You chided against his lips as you playfully swatted at his arms, which he dutifully removed and placed on the mattress. You felt his tongue slide along your lips in question and opened them for him in response. As his tongue expertly explored your mouth you moved your hands from his neck to thread into his black hair. You tugged on his short strands and he let out a throaty moan in response. 

You moved your hips in a slow circle on top of him and felt his jerk up to match. You could feel him getting hard through the material of his jeans. You broke off the kiss and stood up, standing over him and drinking him in. 

His blue eyes were almost swallowed whole by his dilated pupils. His breath was coming in shorter pants and his lips were kiss bruised. You had never found him more attractive. 

“Do you have any idea how much you mean to me, Bucky Barnes?” You questioned, as you began to undo the buttons of his shirt. 

“I could use a refresher.” He replied, eyes wholly fixed upon yours. You smiled at the response as you continued to undo more buttons. You licked your lips as you took in the broad expanse of his chest under the shirt. Your hands moved from his stomach up to his collarbone before you pushed the shirt off of him entirely. 

“You have been so patient with me.” You murmured as you pressed a kiss against his neck. 

“So kind.” you intoned, pressing a kiss to his collarbone. 

“And attentive.” Running your hands down his stomach with your fingernails. 

“And caring.” As you leaned in to kiss each of his pectorals. You heard his breath hitch as your lips followed the outline your hands had traced down his body. Your teeth grazed his skin and you could see his hands worrying themselves into the mattress. 

“Th-that’s what I’m here for.” He replied hoarsely, unable to keep his voice even on account of your ministrations. 

“I know baby.” You cooed as you began to unbuckle his belt. “That’s why I’m doing this.” 

You slowly removed his belt and put it on the floor, before unzipping the fly of his jeans. With a lift of his hips you were able to take Bucky’s jeans fully off, leaving him in black boxer briefs. From your position on your knees between his legs, you could see the effect you were having on him. But you didn’t dare touch it yet. 

Instead you let your nails rake their way down his thighs before you pressed gentle kisses to each of his knees. You continued to rub circles along his thigh as your mouth trailed up his inner left thigh. Each moan and sigh he let out was music to your ears. 

You kissed your way to where his underwear met his skin, and then switched to the other thigh, causing a curse to leave Bucky’s mouth. 

“Shhh, it’s okay Buck. Let me enjoy this.” You smiled into his skin. Letting your tongue feel the muscles of his thigh. When you finished your torturous journey you finally moved your attention to the waistband of his underwear and gave it a tug. Those too then ended up on the floor so Bucky was left bare before you. A true sight to behold. 

“You’re absolutely beautiful Bucky.” You assured him as you brought your hand to palm his considerable length. The second you made contact, Bucky’s hips thrust up into your hand. 

“Someone’s eager.” You joked as you looked up at Bucky through your lashes. His face and chest were a pretty shade of red and sweat was starting to gather on his skin. 

“Can’t help it doll, it’s what you do to me.” He replied through half closed lids. 

You chuckled as you wrapped your hand around him and slowly started to pump. You loved how he throbbed in your hand as you squeezed him gently. You stroked him from base to tip, stopping to swipe your thumb across the sensitive head. You moved your head closer to give kitten licks to his balls while your hand continued its exploration. 

“Fuck baby, that feels so good, where’d you learn that?” He questioned, in a blissed out voice. 

“You sure you wanna know the answer?” You quipped back as you brought the flat of your tongue to the underside of his shaft. Which caused another hip jerk in response. 

“May-maybe not.” He practically whimpered, knowing he was no more than putty in your hands. 

“That’s what I thought.” You said before taking the tip of him into your mouth and sucking on it. You moaned around him as you tasted the saltiness of his pre-cum. You swirled your tongue around his tip before hollowing out your throat and taking all of him into your mouth. You felt your eyes water as he hit the back of your mouth. You stayed there for a moment, letting him enjoy the wetness of you, before you brought him, slowly, back up and out of your mouth. 

He was looking right at you and you made a show of licking your lips. 

“You taste better than I imagined.” You purred, before taking him back into your mouth. 

“Shit, fuck just like that.” Bucky implored as his hands fisted the sheets to keep from touching you. You could hear and feel yourself gag and the hot tears that ran down your face but you didn’t care because of the noises he was making. It was more addictive than any drug on the planet, you were sure of it. 

You placed your hands on his thighs to steady yourself as he snapped his hips up into you, fucking your mouth. You let one of your hands down to cup his balls and give them a gentle squeeze. You took your lips off of him and pumped him with your hand, his shaft sufficiently wet with your saliva. 

“Bucky, I want you to come in my mouth.” You said, your voice husky from his cock. 

“Fuck, are you sure?” He asked, hips still snapping up of their own accord. 

“100 percent.” You replied before you took him back into your mouth. With a few more thrusts of his hips Bucky let out praises for you before he emptied himself down your throat. 

You kept your lips wrapped around him as you swallowed it all down. You were filled with a kind of euphoria. Gently, you released him before standing on unsteady legs. 

“Woah, I got you.” Bucky replied shakily as he wrapped an arm around your waist and brought you to sit down next to him. “You are amazing Y/N, I’m honored you decided to take this step with me.” He said as he cupped your face in his cheeks. He leaned in and kissed you, tasting himself on your tongue. 

You smiled as you stood up to get him a towel. You were glad you took this step with him too, and it made you feel better about what was yet to come.

[docmanda]

3 or maybe 34 for the Poly Pile? (Or any subset of it)

3. “I love you, I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you.”

They finally corner the ghost in a dilapidated shrine, not too unlike the one Xie Lian had at some point declared home, easily dodging the frantic attacks thrown at them, Xie Lian moving with the inherent grace of a Martial God and He Xuan simply blocking whatever came his way, the attacks too weak to do him any great harm. That was the second time this week already that some trash had interrupted one of their outings and He Xuan was getting fed up with all of it.

“I should just drown the lot of them, have my dragons rip them apart for daring to interrupt everything...”

Ever since it had become public that Crimson Rain Sought Flower and Black Water Sinking Ships had pledged themselves to a single, weak, insignificant little God challenges like this had become frequent, admittance of love being likened to weakness among the more powerful beings in the Ghost Realm after all. And so thinking that either the Devastations had grown soft and weak or, even more often than that, that it would be easy to steal their ashes from a single weakling little God and have them do their bidding they had been getting attacked from all sides.

This one, a Wrath Class ghost, old and pretty powerful even if they were a far cry from a Devastation class yet had turned out to be particularly annoying, leading him and Xie Lian on a merry chase across the country side. He was a nasty piece of work, keeping Xie Lian busy attacking every civilliain and farmer they met, forcing him to exhaust himself  keeping them safe while always just managing to slip out of He Xuan´s grasp, sneakily avoiding anything more than a puddle and continously leading them farther away from the ocean. Black Water was too strong to be weakened by that but not being able to summon his dragons did make it way more annoying then necessary.

What was even worse then that was that He Xuan couldn´t shake the feeling of knowing that particular ghost, some old memory nagging at the back of his brain but he simply could not remember, he was way too old by now to recognize every single person or ghost he had seen throughout his life. In the end it didn´t really matter. At some point he´d get a grip on him and tear him apart and then go have dinner with Xie Lian, he was -hungry-.

He is already busy thinking about where to take his A-Lian -hot pot maybe, he did like that last time, or that little fish restaurant close to his own domain that made that great sweet and sour squid- so when the dying wrath kneeling in front of him spits at him, the words dripping from his mouth like acid He Xuan is too stunned to even react

“Fucking Devastations think they´re the shit, I bet that wife of yours welcomed the knife that slit her throat!”

For a moment He Xuan is frozen, his always pale face looking even more pallid then usual with the shock, eyes wide in horror when something finally clicks into place and he recognizes the face in front of him as one of the jailors that loved to torture them back then, eating while standing in front of the bars, laughing at the starving prisoners begging him for scraps. But before he can shake himself free and tear apart the insolent piece of shit cowering before him a thin, long, black blade tears through it´s chest, bending slightly from the raw force of the thrust, an ear splitting scream the last thing they hear before the ghost shatters into a thousand pieces, ripped apart by a powerful golden blast, courtesy of the raging God behind it.

Before He Xuan can even blink the sword drops with a ´clang´ and soft warm hands, sticky with blood cup his face.

“A-Xuan? YuYu? Love, are you alright?”

The pure worry in Xie Lian´s voice finally wakes He Xuan from his stupor, making him nod while simultaneously saying “No.” much to his own confusion and before he can figure himself out he gets pulled into a tight hug, the warm body against his more familiar then even his own, the scent of incense and flowers always clinging to Xie Lian comforting like nothing else could ever be. He Xuan lets himself be held for some time until the onslaught of memories, all of them bad and painful, has subsided a bit...and then he realizes something.

“You killed him. Shattered him. Completely. You never like it when we do that.”

Xie Lian pulls back slightly, just enough to place a soft kiss on He Xuan´s mouth,worry and rage still visible in his beautiful, amber eyes.

“Of course I did.” Another soft kiss gets placed on He Xuan´s cheek and the tip of his nose,kissing away the tears that had gathered there without his consent.

“I love you, I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you.”

34. “you’re cuddly”

“You´re cuddly today. I´m supposed to practice my writing.” Hua Cheng says, sighing lightly and putting away his calligraphy brush to instead comb through the slick black hair spread all over his lap. He Xuan had been napping often these last few days, the push and pull of the Ghost Realm making him sluggish and cranky.

He Xuan snorts, curling himself tightly around Crimson Rain seated at his writing table, like a particularly clingy octopus. He knew it was just a token protest, Hua Cheng welcoming every distraction that would keep him from having to put letters on paper after all.

“No amount of practice can ever help with that abomination you call writing, honestly Crimson Rain, that stuff is a disservice to people with eyes everywhere. And I am frequently cuddly.”

“Usually not with me though, that honor belongs to A-Lian.”

But their Beloved had been gone for some hours now, attending business at his shrine, leaving He Xuan sleeping and Hua Cheng wrestling with his writing.

“Hm, just see it as a special blessing then. A-Lian always scratches my head a little, oh, yes, like that please don´t stop...”

Hua Cheng has to supress a grin as he gently drags sharp nails across He Xuan´s scalp, the other Devastations eyes closed in pure bliss, humming with pleasure.

“You are such a cat sometimes Black Water, I bet you would purr if you could.”

He Xuan blinks open one golden, lazy eye, sticking out his tongue while nearly swallowing Hua Cheng with the yawn that follows

"..meow. And don´t stop scratching.”

(there you go, hope you like them also poly pile made me laugh so hard, I LOVE IT^^)

(also google translate says that 鱼 Yú means fish in chinese, so I went with YuYu as a nickname cause it´s cute if google is wrong please tell me ^^”)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #357

“your magic white rabbit has left its writing on the wall  /  we follow like alice, and just keep diving down the hole”

Are you better at telling stories or writing them? Writing, by a long shot. What’s one song you hate, but know every word to? i'm a barbie girl in a fckn barbie woooooorld What’s your favorite magazine? I don’t read magazines. If you could be an animal for one day, which animal would you choose? Probably a house cat. Be indoors and safe, able to just nap... lol. But I'd want another cat as a friend, too! Do you prefer outdoor or indoor concerts/events? Indoors, by a mile. I get hot outside way too easily. Do you know if you were a planned child? I don't know. What’s your favorite gem? Dragon's breath opal. As an adult, do you want to live in an apartment or a house? I'd like to live in a house, especially with the pets I want. I doubt many apartment complexes would allow multiple reptiles and inverts. Do you like the stem or leafy part of the broccoli? It doesn't matter much to me, but I prefer the stem. The texture is more likeable to me. Do bats frighten you? No, I adore bats! Does Paris appeal to you? Yeah, it's a pretty place. Are you a KPOP fan? No, I've never really checked it out. How long was your longest relationship? Over three and a half years. First time you kissed the last person you kissed? We were outside roasting marshmallows one night. Do you have to really know someone to kiss them? Absolutely. I don't dish 'em out for nothing. Were you anyone’s first kiss? No. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states of America, what state would you WANT to be named after? I actually think "Nevada" would be kinda pretty as a name? Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, or practices of individuals or groups? I've wondered this for a long while, really. I lean towards it being a mix, maybe? But more towards universal, I think... with some exceptions. This answer is all over the place, I honestly don't know. Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when? No? I think the "why not" is obvious... You just don't. What do you think is one one of the most undervalued professions right now? Teachers, garbagemen, retail and food workers... There's a lot. Have you ever seen anyone have a heart attack? Thank Christ no. Have you personalized your answering machine/voicemail? No. Have you ever had Fiji brand water? I actually don't believe I have, though it's always looked appealing to me, haha. What’s your favorite horror movie? The Crazies and the first Silent Hill, as well as both Blair Witch Projects. What was the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? I'd rather not even think about things the bitch said to me. Are you biracial? No. When was the last time you got mad and broke something? I've never broken something when mad. What color dress did you wear to prom? My first was maroon, second one was black. Who is the cutest baby you know? My friend has a daughter named Scarlett who is absolutely gorgeous. Have you ever thrown a rock at a window? No, because I respect people's fucking property. Has anyone ever thrown a rock at your window? No. Does your hair react well to dye, or does it damage it? It likes to not take dye at all. >.> I have only had one instance where a friend dyed it red and it stuck for months and months, but we kept it in for a couple hours, I think. My normal hairdresser says it's because my hair is really healthy and I guess rejects it. What kind of pet do you wish you had? I ramble plenty about how I want tarantulas and more reptiles, haha. I also DESPERATELY want to rescue or foster an opossum. When was the last time you were diagnosed with something? Are you concerned about anything regarding your physical or mental health at the moment? I haven't been diagnosed with anything in quite some time, I believe, but as I'm going through the process of being approved for TMS therapy for my depression, my bipolar diagnosis is being questioned, which is... strange to me. It's been acknowledged by many a doctor that I have bipolar 2, but if insurance recognizes my primary diagnosis as bipolar, they won't cover TMS because it can massively excite the mania portion of bipolarity, and therefore I can't do it because we can't manually afford it. I'm willing to take the risk by far, as I've never had issues with mania, but I can't without insurance. I'm just waiting to hear back from them... What is one blanket judgment you tend to make about people (like, you judge all people who live at home, all people who drink, etc)? Does this judgment come from a particular personal experience? I really don't know. How do you react to other people yelling or slamming doors? Is this something you ever do too? I get very scared if it's a man. I don't like anyone doing it, and my anxiety will spike regardless, I'm just terrified of angry men. Have you ever lost your cool at work or somewhere else important? What happened as a result? No. Who has the power to break you? Jason still might. I don't know. Is anyone in your family blind? My sister is legally blind in one eye. Do you believe in evolution? Yeah. I do find the concept odd, that ALL LIFE originated from one thing, but I sure ain't got a better explanation, so. What job do you think people should be paid the most for? Surgeons, maybe? I dunno, that's a big question. Were you ever held back a year in school? Did you ever skip a grade? No. Have you ever been given a hickey? Have you given one? Yeah to both. What is your least favourite thing about your full name? I have the most basic white bitch middle name in the world, lol. Do you like the age you are? Eh, I don't mind it much, but I think it'd be better to be in my early 20s versus mid 20s. I'm just always so tired now. I can't believe I used to refuse to go to sleep before 10:30. What’s your favourite kind of poptart? The chocolate sundae one. If you had to eat one type (Chinese, etc.) of food which would it be? American bc I'm not very adventurous with food at all. When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now? *shrug* Are your fingers long, or short? Long. Mom's always said I have "piano fingers." Do you play Pokemon Go? If so, what level are you and who’s your buddy? Yeah, I love it, but don't play it nearly as much as I want because I don't exactly go anywhere, lol. My bud's Charmeleon, and I'm probably like five EXP from level 28. Do you ever sit indoors and wear sunglasses or a hat? I don't own either, so. Do you know how to read animals’ behavior? I honestly think I'm very good at it. Do you like playing video games? If so, what do you usually play? Yes, but not as much as I used to. All I really play nowadays is World of Warcraft. The only working console I have is a PS2, and I haven't bought a new game in probably a couple years, but there are definitely ones I want to play, mainly on PS4. Just can't afford it right now. Have you ever viewed the moon through a telescope? No. Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? No. There's no way I could, given my tremors. Do you prefer reading books, comic books, manga/graphic novels, magazines, or the newspaper? Books. When is the last time you ate donuts? It's been months, man. I've seriously been craving a glazed one, though. Krispy Kreme sounds amaaaaaziiiiiing. Has anyone ever called you sexy? Somehow. Do you like raisins? NO NO NO NO NO. Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to? More than once. Do you like ants? They're genuinely extremely fascinating animals, but they're seriously annoying nevertheless. Did you like the movie Antz? I loved it as a kid. What was your favorite ice cream flavor when you were little? Chocolate. Is it still your favorite? Eh, depends on the day. By the way, what is your name? Brittany. What time zone do you live in? EST. Do you like cats? I love cats. What’s the most creepy experience you’ve ever had? One night when my mom and sister were at the beach for a dance competition, I was having trouble sleeping, and it only got worse when my dog Teddy started freaking the fuck out, barking loudly and staring intently at the foot of the bed. I was so scared that I tried to force his head to lie down, but he fought against me. I was terrified, but got up out of the bed and went into the living room to call my mom at like 3 in the damn morning, and she had to have our neighbor come over to sleep in the house with me (I was in a different room that night). You can't convince me that there wasn't paranormal shit going on. I think the house was haunted honestly, for multiple reasons. What’s the most boring game to exist? Why do you dislike it so much? Hm, I dunno. What’s the coolest place that you've ever been to? What’d you do there? Disney World was very memorable as a kid. We just went around collecting signatures, going on rides, all that fun stuff. I'll never forget fireworks at the castle. If you’re interested in having a long-term relationship with someone, do you think that waiting a certain amount of time before you first have sex is a good idea? Or does it not matter? I think it's a good idea, personally, mostly for the sake of reducing the spread of STDs. Just because you think you'll be long-term, doesn't mean you will be. Besides that, isn't there a science that sex and feelings of love are connected? Like, sex is impossible without at least some underlying emotions? I might be entirely wrong, in which case forgive me for spreading misinformation, but if that's so and things don't go as planned, you've gotten emotionally invested in someone too early and wind up getting hurt. You do you, I just don't think it's smart. Have you ever discovered something big by looking through someone’s phone, Facebook, email, etc.? No. Have you kept anything from your past relationships? (Things they left at your house, gifts, notes, etc) Do you think that’s a big deal for future relationships or not? Yeah, like plushies and little stuff like that. When it's tiny things like I just mentioned, I really don't think it matters. I think some things might be questionable to keep, but at the same time, I don't think it's really wrong to keep memories of a happy time, if the thing still brings you joy and has been emotionally disconnected from the ex? Idk. Do you have any financial regrets? Either way, what’s an example of a GOOD financial decision you’ve made? Going to and dropping out of college three fucking times. I don't know about a good financial decision seeing as I'm not even in charge of my own finances, nor really have any to begin with. Are you a believer in “signs” from the Universe about things in your life? If you are, can you think of a particular example? No. Name some things that one or both of your parents are really good at or really interested in. Mom LOVES medical stuff, like watching surgeries and stuff like that. She is also absolutely incredible with children. Dad likes sports a lot, hockey and football especially. Think of a good friend of the opposite sex (currently or in the past). Have you ever had any sort of “more than a friend” or sexual thoughts about them? If not, can you explain why? Well, we dated briefly, so... It was awkward to, but I let myself imagine sexual situations a few times to help myself understand if I really did like-like him, or if he was truly just a brother to me. Turns out, he's a bro. If someone told you that you would never achieve something and you ended up doing it, would you have any interest in finding that person and showing them? I'ma be honest, yes. I wouldn't actively seek them out, but rather just hope they somehow find out or I run into them or something. What is the most jealousy-induced thing you’ve ever done? Apparently, be the girl Juan liked instead of this girl that literally threatened to deck me. Guess what? We're friends now lmaoooo.

[haiqyu]

"I've finally found you. "

Kuroo Tetsurou X reader

Soulmate and Reincarnation au! : one gets flashbacks of their past lives when they reach the age of 10

Warning: ancient Chinese history kind of?? angst??? Fluff??? I have no clue

Sorry for the grammar and spelling mistakes! It kinda sucks so-

Edit: Please don't read this- I did this at 1am- im not proud 😭😭

♡♡♡♡

At the age of 9, I've remembered my classmates being so excited to see what kinds of flashbacks they might get. I was no exception. I really wanted to know how my soulmate looks like. Always dreaming about being married to a perfect man and having a perfect life, I was so happy to be reaching the age of 10 soon. Multiple thoughts ran through my small 9 year old brain.

Is his hot? Is he smart? Is he cute? Does he looks cute? Will he love me back? What if something goes wrong?

I sighed as I laid my head on the classroom table. I closed my eyes and continued to day dream about the perfect man that is going to be in my life soon.

♡♡♡♡

Please stop.

Stop.

Please.

I beg of you.

STOP

I woke up from my nightmare. Drenched in sweat, I sat up on my bed and tried to calm my racing heart. I have just reached 10 years old a few hours ago. I've heard from my parents and friends that flashbacks from the past can come in the form of dreams. That was not the sweat dreams that I've expected.

My whole body dirty from being dragged from the ground. My long white gown being drenched with blood, sweat, tears and mud. My legs and hands being bloody from the chains. My torso bloody from being whipped with a thin long stick. My tears ran down my face continuously. I tried to break through the metal chains as I cried for help and forgiveness.

"I didn't do anything wrong! I was framed! Please let me out! I didn't cheat on the emperor! Please... Stop!" I cried out.

My vision blurred from the tears. The metal chains digging into my ankles and wrists. My body being constantly whipped by the stick. Exhaustion ran through my veins. Please stop. I'm tired. It hurts. I beg of you. Stop!

I shut my eyes to stop remembering the flashback but it just continues to run through my eyes. I thought these dreams and flashbacks are suppose to be sweet andthey should give me a hint of who my soul mate will be. Why do I get such horrible and torturous dreams? Why me?

I remembered the pain on my wrists and ankles vividly. It hurts. I didn't care if I was sweaty or not. I curled up on my bed, my forehead resting on knees as I cried myself to sleep. Why me?

♡♡♡♡

I don't want to have a soulmate. I hate it. I hate the feeling. Every day, I had flashbacks and dreams of being tortured. I have enough. My whole body hurts being being tortured even though it's just a flashback.

I was 14 years old. I've always envied my classmates and friends for having such wholesome and cute flashbacks. I've always heard them gushing about their soulmates and their past lives. As they were talking about it, their eyes lit up with happiness and excitement. Some of my schoolmates were lucky as they figured out how their soul mates looked like by the flashbacks. Lucky.

Everytime someone talked about their soulmate, my anger rose. I hated my soulmate. I had enough. Why can't I have nice flashbacks. Why must my flashbacks be about torture and crying? My fist clenched with anger and frustration. I hate this. I was jealous.

I had frequent panic attacks in public due to the stupid flashbacks. I'm embarrassed. Sometimes I feel that my friends and classmates pity me for being like... like that. I don't often speak about my soulmate as Ive literally never seen him in my flashbacks. I hate it. I don't want to have a soulmate anymore.

How do I stop having flashbacks about my soulmate? Do I have to,,, end myself?

♡♡♡♡

I broke out into a cold sweat from a dream again. My heart beat furiously. This is the first time in my 16 years being alive that Ive gotten a sweet and wholesome dream. I'm still in a state of shock. I was expecting to be tortured again in my dreams, as always. However, I dreamt about being in a garden with my soulmate.

Giggling, I smacked his arm playfully. "you're so mean, my king!" I laughed at him.

We were in a flower garden. The place have been decorated with colourful flowered and plants of many species. Butterflies fluttering around the plants and fishes are swimming in the huge pond. Next to the pond was a huge hut. These wooden chairs and tables are crafted out neatly with patterned of flowers and dragons. Having servants around the perimeter to guard us from potential danger, we were sitting together on the huge chair made of the king.

"..., you're so full of shit. Stop teasing me! If you continue teasing me, I'm actually gonna start crying." I smacked his arm once more as he continued to shame me for my height. "Im have an average height, okay. I'm not short! You're just abnormally long!"

"How dare you just insulted the King? I'll put you to the dungeon if you continue to insult me like that," he huffed. "I'm the nicest person in the kingdom."

I rolled my eyes at his comment. "yea but you love me too much to put me into the dungeon. I didn't insult you by the way, I was just speaking the FACTS!" I scoffed.

I took the chance to look at his face, but his face was blurred out. All I notice was his black messy hair that made him look like he just woke up. I reached up to touch his bed hair. I gasped on the inside. "Your hair is so soft. I love it." I smiled and ran my hand through his surprisingly soft hair.

I felt his hands sneak around my waist and he took this chance to pull me even closer to him, if it was possible. "you pull them everytime I ate you out-" He proudly said.

I blushed furiously and tried to cover his mouth to shut him up. "stop!!? Stop!! This is embarrassing! Shhh!!"

He chuckled and I felt my hands being licked. "AHH! STOP! Did you just lick me?? Ew!!!" I wiped my hand on his clothes.

Wait, I didn't notice our clothing. He was wearing some Chinese looking ancient outfit. Ah yes, a 龙袍 (lóng páo: a dragon gown) which had yellow dragon and auspicious patterns embroideries on it. The silk materi made it easier for us to wear in the summer and winter. It kept us cool in the summer and warm the the winter. That so cool. I looked down at myself. I wore loose clothes with long large sleeves. Under the long skirt was a pair of high-heeled clogs with some embroidery on them. There was a scarf wrapped around my arm, which symbolized that I was a noble woman. I ran my hand my my clothed knees. So smooth. For no apparent reason, I felt a sense of nostalgia and my eyes started to water. I felt,,, loved.

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt my hands being grabbed by his rough large hands. I looked up at him with such a loving look on my face. "I love you," I blurted out. I blushed and wondered why did I suddenly say that.

He slowly let go of my hand and gently used that free hand to push my head down on his shoulder. I snuggled closer to him and smelled a faint scent of his cologne. "I love you too, my love." he gave a gentle kiss to my forehead. I really love you, soulmate.

I really enjoyed the dream. I felt like I was 10 again. The daydreams of being loved and touched by my soulmate really made my heart burst with love and happiness. So this is how my friends felt when they have flashbacks. I smiled to myself. I think I don't hate you anymore, soulmate.

I laid back down on my bed. I couldn't sleep. And then I realised that I missed his touch. Just like the chain, I felt his touch on my skin vividly. I craved his love. I want to find him quick. I want to be with him forever. I love him.

I felt my blood rushing towards my face. I covered my face with my hands and rolled around my bed. I was a love sick fool.

♡♡♡♡

I was transferred to Nekoma high school in my second year. I was devastated to move away from my friends in karasuno. I missed the volleyball club. I was their manager for a year and I really enjoyed my time there. They were my true friends. They comforted me when I was having very bad flashbacks and panic attacks. I am going to miss them.

I'm 17 years old and I have a one sided love hate relationship with my soulmate. I continued to have such bad flashbacks most of the time but sometimes I have such wonderful and heart warming flashbacks. I hate him. But I love him too much.

I was looking down at my phone, scrolling through the memes that the volleyball gAnG sent to me on the group chat. I laughed silently and walked past the school gate. I wasn't aware of my surroundings and I bumped into someone tall and hard.

Oh God did I just hit a pole or something?? Why is it so hard??? I looked up and a wave of flashback just went over me.

"you cheated on me. I trusted you. You cheated on me with my trusted buddy!" he screamed at me. His face red from the anger.

My eyes widened from the claim. "excuse me? I didn't! Bokuto was eating so messily and I just wiped my handkerchief onto his mouth to wipe away the rice!" my hands clenched into a fist.

"what the fuck? Then explain why he hugged you on the bridge a few days ago? I had people watching over you two. I should've listened to the concubine. I shouldve trusted what the concubines said. I shouldn't have trusted you, slut." he slapped me across the cheek.

He was strong. I fell of my feet and fell onto the ground, hot tears spilling from my eyes. "I've never cheated on you with him. He caught me from falling into the the pond. Why don't you trust me? I would never cheat on you..." I cried.

"my servant saw you in the room with him two days ago. I knew you two were fucking behind my back. You shouldn't be the queen. You should be executed." he glared at me. He turned his back on me and walked towards the throne. "Officials, strip her off her title. Send her to the dungeon and punish her by whipping. Death by hanging."

"no! Stop! Stop! Im not cheating on you! I love you so much! Stop it! How dare you do this to your soulmate?" I screamed in fear. I would never cheat on him. Please believe me. Please...

The guards come running in, forcefully grabbing my arms and dragging me away. O struggled and tried to twist my arms to escape from them. There was no use. I looked at my soul mate in fear. "help me, Kuroo."

He looked away from me. His expression with hurt written all over his face. He still love me, right?

I was beaten. Whipped. Tortured. My whole body hurts. My eyes felt tired from crying for hours. My lungs sore from the screaming and crying. My body bloodied. I felt light headed. Just kill me already. I want to die. Die. Die. I really want to die. This flashback was worse than any other flash back I had.

Kuroo... Help me... I didn't cheat on you... I love you... Please.... Let me go... I love you... I want to be with you forever... Please stop...

After sunrise, the guards came in. They slapped me awake. "say your last words before you die, bitch." he spat on me.

I couldn't even flinch at his words anymore. I feel so numb. I just want to sleep. I want to go home. I want warmth. I want his warmth. I want Kuroo.

"I,,, didn't cheat on you, kuroo. I was planning our anniversary with Bokuto as a surprise for you. I wanted to have a party...just us... Having fun... I'm really tired. I will miss you, Kuroo. I really love you. But I don't want to be your soulmate anymore. I'm tired. You don't trust me. But I still... Love... You..."

My eyes slowly closed and my muscles all relaxed. Ah I've passed away. How embarrassing. Declaring my love for someone who doesn't even trust me. How pathetic. I hate my soulmate. I hate... Kuroo.

My head hurts. My whole body hurts. My world just spinning around. Tears poured down my eyes. I started hyperventilating. I bumped into someone and started to get a panic attack? My reputation is screwed. I caught a black headed messy hair stranger in front of me. Haha now I'm visioning of my soulmate. What a joke.

"(Y/N)... You're my soulmate...?" when those words come out from his mouth. My eyes snapped open. He is...

The person standing in front of me is the person I hate and I love the most. Kuroo... All those flashbacks come crashing down on me. I'm scared. "stop! Don't come near me! Don't hurt me! I'm sorry! Don't slap me! " I cried out loud, in front of everyone.

He immediately wrapped his arms around me tightly. "stop! (y/n) I won't hurt you! I love you! Please calm down!"

"don't touch me!!" I screamed my lungs out. "you're going to hurt me!"

"no, I won't! (y/n) please trust me!"

"no, stop! I'm scared. You're going to hurt me like the past. I'm scared I'm scared I'm scared."

I pushed him off and stumbled backwards.

"I hate you."

[baekchelor]

𝕕𝕒𝕪𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕕𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕡𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟

pairings: George Mackay x reader genre: romantic comedy rating: pg13  synopsis: on the set of his new film, golden boy George Mackay learns a basic human truth: that the heart is deceitful above all things. warnings: slight smut

❝i  love  the  ground  under  his  feet,  and  the  air  over  his  head,  and everything  he  touches  and  every  word  he  says.  I  love  all  his  looks,  and all  his  actions  and  him  entirely  and  all  together.❝                                                                                                  ― emily  brontë

FOUR | ENDINGS & BEGINNINGS ◄ ᴘʀᴇᴠ

George has six different scripts waiting for him on his red mailbox when he gets back to his apartment building. The tail end of this autumn is a chilly, constant rainfall —one of the coldest London has seen in recent years.

Alma rolls down her window and waves, "Call me if you need anything." She's in the passenger seat of the Range Rover that picked them up from the airport.

"My sister sent over food," George responds. Daisy's text came in shortly after they landed. "I'll survive, Alma."

"That's not what I meant," his manager replies pointedly.

A mob of fans had been queuing in wait at the airport. George knew they were in for the hysterical cries and invasive photography, the obstacle course of thrust-out gifts and feet to trip over. He wished he could have had his last goodbye in peace, a memory in a hushed corner, however brief. But the sheer mass of bodies had been too much to contend with. In the end, he and Y/N were escorted out through separate gates. She took a flight to Los Angeles, he to London.

So again, with only the slightest fluctuation in tone, George says, "I'll survive." Because he and Y/N's friendship remained on good terms, and now that her T.V. Series promotion summoned her to L.A., he will have time to get over his little infatuation. When they see each other again, George's heart won't be able to jeopardize their relationship, and the prize will be to have Y/N in his life forever.

Not even an hour later... his plan goes to shit. George considered himself a man with a strong will. Apparently, when it comes to the girl who stole his heart in Mumbai, his resolution is tossed to the trash. He played London Boy first, then the Heartbreak Prince song, and before he noticed, he had ordered Chinese, simmered his ass on the sofá, and listened to Taylor Swift's entire discography as thoughts of Y/N, Mumbai and the way she makes him feel invaded his mind.

It takes almost a month for George to meet up with Dean, who's finally back from his filming schedule in France.

They kept in touch via texts. Dean asked for advice in certain scenes, described his character and his approach to him, and narrated funny anecdotes on set. In turn, George told him about Mumbai in vague, emotionless terms. He's had no contact with Y/N since they got back to their real life, and instead of making him forget, it filled him with a deep sense of loss. George partially blames Taylor Swift for that, but he doesn't tell Dean. It would be too humiliating, especially since George has never been lovesick before. The feeling is persistent and tactile, and terribly unsettling.

Today, they're at Dean's flat, smack dab in the centre of Soho. Dean has got his head bent over his phone, reading some table nonsense to not lose the habit. George nurses an iced coffee he ordered from UberEats and delves upon the fact he doesn't even like Taylor Swift's music yet his phone automatically play her songs whenever it is connected to Bluetooth.

George still holds out hope that he's going through a phase. A Y/N induced phase. Maybe, sometime soon, it will pass.

"You okay, Geo?" Dean is looking at him with concern.

George blinks, and he realizes belatedly that his friend is no longer at the table. He's standing by the water dispenser in the kitchen.

"I'm just thinking," George says dismissively, eking out a smile. He doesn't want to talk about this.

Dean smiles back, understanding, but he refuses to cave. Once his glass of water is filled, he returns to the table, and with a sigh, he asks: "Have you read the news lately?"

"No, not recently." George drums his fingers over the table. They produce a dull sound. "Why?"

"I'll show you," Dean says, handing the phone with a window open in a gossip article that headlines Henry Cavill and Y/N Y/L/N had ended their long term relationship. This time for good.

George's mouth quirks, "I see."

Pressing his elbows to the table, Dean nestles his face between cupped palms. "What are you gonna do about it?"

"About what?"

Dean's eyebrows slope and George traces the wood grain of the table with his fingertip. "You could be happy, you know? If you tell her," Dean addresses him openly.

There's that all-too-familiar twinge again; a heartstring plucked. "You don't know that," George bites the inside of his cheek. "We never even..." He trails off, and of course, he remembers: Y/N's fingers lacing into his, Y/N's warm body wrapped around his… Y/N's mouth, slick and soft and open for a kiss.

"That doesn't mean nothing happened," Dean mutters. "I know you, George. I know how much you're keeping from me. Your texts were dead giveaways if anything at all. Do you know how sad you look right now?" That word, again. "It's the first thing I noticed when you came in. I've never seen you like this. Like you're lost, or something." He puts his hand on the back of George's chair. "You realize everything's changed, don't you? And it's never going to go back to the way it was, no matter how much you force the issue?"

"What do you want me to do, Dean?" George says, feeling caged and itching with defensiveness. "Throw away our friendship, this special bond we have for an infatuation? For all I know, she can only think of me as a friend. Nothing else." He's embarrassed by the tremor in his voice. "I don't even know what I'm doing, pining over a girl like this, and she and I —we never discussed what this was, between us. And it's like you're asking me to risk it all, our friendship, Daisy, my peace of mind, so I can try for something uncertain with, with..." He hasn't said her name in a while, so his tongue stumbles over it. "Y/N."

"Yes." The word is as solemn as a prayer. "Because, clearly, you don't love Daisy, you never had, that's why things between you were nothing but a fling. You love Y/N. It's not just an infatuation."

George breathes silently, heavily, staring at the table.

The next words that come out of Dean's mouth are gentle, designed to coax, not provoke, "You have to stop torturing yourself, George. It's just making you miserable."

"Dean..."

"Listen," he sighs, clearly exasperated. "You say you don't want to put your friendship with Y/N at risk, but you already did. You're losing her in every fucking way possible. You haven't talked to her in weeks. Right now, you two are as close as strangers. All because you're scared."

"I am not scared. I am rational."

"You are not, Mackay. And you need to realise it."

They would've most likely kept going in circles if friends-with-benefits Daisy hadn't chosen that moment to text George. He replies because he wants a distraction and needs reassurance that what he is doing is the right thing to do, but the words of a dinner date and romantic plans sting nonetheless because it's something George wants with Y/N and can't have.

When George leaves the apartment, promising Dean to meet on Sunday for a match of Call Of Duty, the latter looks over and asks for George's well being.

George pulls up a smile to reassure him, but it's acted, and he knows it. All he can think about is that barely-there brush of lips in a hotel bed, that Thank you for Mumbai, that last look at the crowded airport, that question Y/N never asked him fading away like so many summer days.

It takes another four more months after that, and up until the very end, George vacillates between doing it and not doing it, making up his mind only to change it again at the last minute. But when he finally ends things with Daisy, it's almost like she's prepared for it.

They're sitting in her car, in somewhere's basement parking lot. Daisy doesn't have a speck of makeup on. It makes her look younger, more fragile.

"I wondered who was going to end it first," she says, thumbing at the steering wheel. "I thought it might be better if it was me. Maybe it would hurt less." She shrugs, and a lock of hair falls over her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," George mumbles. He brushes it back, out of habit, before he realizes he doesn't have the right to do that anymore. His hand recoils. "I never wanted to hurt you."

She shrugs again, but her mouth twists this time. It's a defence mechanism. "I shouldn't be this upset. We weren't dating, you didn't love me, and since day one you made it clear you didn't seek for commitment," George can't stand the look on her face —one of pure defeat. "I told myself so many times that I could win you over. For a while, I was convinced I would actually get you to love me. There used to be this shiny little space in your eyes, reserved just for me... but when I visited you in Mumbai, I'd already been replaced without even knowing why."

"Daisy..."

"Do you really think I believe you want to end this because of your agenda, George?" she murmurs. Her laugh is brittle, like clattering metal. "Don't lie to me. I know it is because of Y/N." Her lip trembles, so she sucks it into her mouth.

She had known, after all. And she's angry, of course, she is. George deceived her. The shame of it makes his stomach roil with acid.

"Daisy," he entreats her, "She never...we never...I didn't..."

"It's worse that way," she hisses back at him. "It's even worse." She doesn't expound, but George understands her perfectly: a betrayal of the heart, not of the body.

When she adds, "I always knew you would fall in love. I just thought it would be with me," the blood rushes straight to George's head.

"I am not —I am. I don't know," George answers helplessly. He's dizzy, and he feels naked. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I loved you so much," unrelenting, she whispers. A plump tear rolls down her cheek, followed swiftly by another. She draws herself up; proud as the Ophelia she plays in the theatre. "I don't want to see you anymore. Not anywhere. Delete my number. Delete our pictures. Don't bother sending back anything I've left at your place —you can have it all. Throw it out, if you want. I don't care."

George thought he'd been prepared for the consequences. He didn't realize it would feel like he was tied to a whipping post, his back exposed, as Daisy's words lashed him again and again.

The worst part is that she probably feels the same kind of pain, too.

"Why couldn't you love me?" she shakes out. Her cheeks are wet.

And George doesn't care if she hits him, doesn't care if she bruises his chest and his face with her balled-up fists that still smell like the coconut in her lotion. He reaches across the passenger's seat, pushing right past the boundaries he'll have to observe from now on, and he envelops her in a fierce, hopeless embrace.

She cries silently, her tears and sobs suffusing his shirt with damp heat. He holds her through the whole thing, knowing full well it will be another one of those last times until, after a long spell, she calms.

"I did care for you," George says then, tenderly, his voice breaking. "How could I not?"

Her entire face gentles, just a moment, before the softness is gone; the keenness of fresh heartbreak taking its place.

Daisy nods, perfunctory, and looks away.

When the door on his side unlocks with a quiet click, George knows she's telling him to go.

The bitter afternoon turns worse as George settles down on his couch, back at his apartment. His phone rings with a notification from Dean claiming it is better if Georges hears such news from him. A link is attached, and as soon as George opens it, he feels his heart rip apart.

All along, Dean was right. The time spent worrying over Dev Patel and Henry Cavill was a waste. He never saw Luke Hemmings coming, the thought didn't even cross George's mind, and now Luke and Y/N had been spotted together. Several times.

They went to Trader Joe's, left the store with bags of organic food and bottles of pink lemonade. They spent a weekend in San Francisco, Luke's nails painted red, and his fingers resting on the small of Y/N's back. They shared a cigarette at Sunset Strip, outside some old bar 80's rockstars use to hang out at. It annoyed George the most. She smokes with Luke but refused George's cigarettes the many times she came along to watch him poison his lungs with nicotine.

Dean was right.

Taylor Swift is right too, it feels like death by a thousand cuts. There's no use to get drunk, it won't be enough, he knows it. George pretended it was okay for so long when it isn't. The morning will come, and Y/N won't be his baby, won't be his friend. She is Luke Hemmings', and it is all George's fault.

At the pre-screening party for Dharma, two days before the film is slated for release, George finally sees Y/N again.

It's been months since Mumbai, months since Daisy, months since Luke Hemmings and months since they've had any sort of contact.

George's dyed his hair chestnut in preparation for a new role. Tonight, he wears eyeliner under his eyes (it reminds him of those days he filmed Hamlet) and a leather jacket. Greta thought it would be fun to throw a rock-themed party, she hired a band to perform live and required the dress-code to be inspired by the Age of Rock.

Y/N is wearing a black chain embellished mini skirt, a white turtleneck underneath a fucking 5SOS t-shirt, and she's, again, hanging off Luke Hemming's arm. His hair is a blond silk sheet draped over his forehead, and his lips hover close to Y/N's ear, speaking into it confidingly. It gives George a pang, right in the centre of his chest.  

There's no avoiding each other. Not when Y/N is looking at him, all smiles and excitement, and she excuses herself from the conversation with Luke, Timotheé Chalamet and Florence Pugh to run straight towards George. He is tongue-tied, yearning, and all he manages is a lame nod that suits neither him nor the object of his affections. Y/N stops right in her tracks.

"George." Not London Boy, neither Heartbreak Prince. It sounds unnatural.

"Y/N," he replies. Not Gorgeous. "It's been a while."

They shake hands, and George is satisfied with that, but Y/N encircles her arms around his neck, hugging him as tight as George had wanted to hug her all those months they spent apart.

"I missed you," she says, a whisper. If only she knew how much George missed her, and the lengths he went to get her out of his head. He tried to hang out with new people, meet new girls. Hell, he even went out with his ex-girlfriend Doone. Twice.

Before George can be honest, his body tingling from the embrace, Luke greets him. He is polite and keeps things as brief as possible, but George forgets about him immediately after. Y/N is here, right here, within his grasp. She's with a handsome man, and it's been so long, and George is afraid she's forgotten all about their time in Mumbai. But there it is —that blessed, steadfast question flickering behind Y/N's orbs, and George clings to it like a port in a storm.

The moment Luke excuses himself to the stage (he will bless every guest with a song —George want to roll his eyes at it), the atmosphere shifts between them. She attentively waits for Luke to start singing; everybody is cheering and excited, and people let out awe sounds when Luke strums the first chords of Eye In The Sky. Of course, he would sing such a hit. Of course, his voice sounds perfect, and George grows embarrassed over his two songs from the Been So Long soundtrack. Of course, he feels, once more —The first time was when he walked inside and Here I go Again blasted on the speakers—, attacked by a song tonight.

"How've you been?" Y/N murmurs, eyes trained on a point across the room. The stage. "We haven't spoken to each other since we got back." She licks her lips into a cautious smile.

George follows the movement closely. "I ended things with Daisy," he says. Just like that.

"Did you?" The smile falters. "I mean if that is what you wanted... I'm —I'm glad..." If George hadn't spent so much time with Y/N before they stopped spending so much time together, he would have missed the subtle quake in the girl's voice. "How are you holding up?"

"Better." George looks over at her. He doesn't mean he felt terrible because of Daisy, and now he is better. George is better now because she's here, near him. "It was a big mess, but now I feel free." He licks his lips too because they've gone dry. And then he catches it —Y/N's gaze darting quickly to his mouth.

He places his hand on Y/N's thigh. It tenses, just for a second, before giving in. George realizes, at this exact moment, when Luke sings about how he can read someone's mind by just looking at them, that he can read Y/N's mind, and gaze, and body language, and he knows what Y/N has wanted to ask him. He's just been a coward.

"That's good," she exhales. "I'm glad."

Well, he won't be a coward anymore.

"We should talk," George says, voice pitched low. "You should come over to my suite, and we should catch up."

"Tonight?" her limbs tense again, muscles shifting under George's palm.

"If you like." George wants and wants and wants. "But only if you haven't got anything planned with your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend," Y/N tells him, and George knows there's an unspoken yet in her words. His heart skips a hundred beats. He still got a chance. He can still get the girl. And he can't wait for this party to be over.

"I'll come over tonight," Y/N agrees. "After this, whenever it ends. Wait for me." She passes her hand over the one George's resting on her thigh. Every meeting of skin on skin is a promise. George wants to hear it out loud for once.

"Perfect," the last of George's fingertips traces over her knuckles. Luke is weaving his way back through applauses and clinking champagne flutes.

"All right then, Geo."

George French-exit at ten, because he just can't sit still any longer. Plus, parties ain't something he is kneen of, they are a part of his job, and he has to endure it as much as filming in cold-ass water. He didn't even attend The Oscar's after-party, to begin with. Tonight he decided to come along because he wanted to see her, be near Y/N at least one more time. If everything goes well after midnight, he will lay eyes on the girl of his dreams forever. It gives George hope.

He squeezes his way out of a cluster of guests and quickly pulls Y/N aside.

"I'll see you around midnight," she whispers. George's thumb traces soothing little circles into the underside of her wrist.

"Midnight." He feels the skinship all over his body, like concentric ripples of water. "I'll be waiting."

George is wearing sweats now, showered, changed, and just...ready. His bangs are flopping into his eyes (he grew his hair for the same role he dyed it, and it is long enough for him to tie it in a small bun at the back of his head). With arms exposed to the warmth radiating from the fireplace, George rests on the duvet in front of it, staring at the flames and cursing himself for blowing it out of proportion. The fact he has felt blue since Mumbai is his own doing, and taking such responsibility, is what tells him this love is worth the fight.

The clock on his wrist reads half-past twelve. It's not that he is afraid Y/N won't come —although the thought of it makes him lose his mind. It's that the build-up to this moment has been torturously slow, achingly indefinite and he just hopes this thing, whatever it is, works out the way he wants it to. Which is Y/N, telling him that her heart belongs to him, that they'll be just fine.

It's a quarter to one when the doorbell sounds. On the other side of the door, Y/N's face is exhausted. "I'm sorry. I couldn't get away until now."

"It's fine," he says, stepping aside so she can come in. "You've never been late before."

Y/N slides off her jacket at the entrance. She's still in her party outfit, and even though she's still wearing that damn 5SOS t-shirt, George has never seen anybody look so perfect. Perfect for him, especially.

He doesn't know what his body is telling his brain, but suddenly he's reaching out and curling his fingers into Y/N's hair.

Both freeze on the spot, unsure of their actions. When she looks up, George's ocean eyes are perilously wild.

"I don't wanna lose this with you," he says.

And finally, velvet-toned and whisper-soft, she asks: "How do you feel about me?"

George is standing in the portal of the foyer, a step above her. Barefoot, in a tanktop, shutting the door close. This is it, he intones, brimming with everything he's kept to himself all these months. Finally.

"How do I feel?" he mumbles, more to himself than anyone else. Then he rests his forehead against Y/N's, his hand cupping her face with such love, if they were still filming Dharma, Greta would have gone nuts. He once told Y/N that James and Marina's love seemed out of this world, and now, he understands them. He feels such. "I'm in love with you."

All the resistance seeps out of Y/N's body —a vapour, escaping. Her shoulders sag in relief. Her expression softens, turns bittersweet.

They've wasted so much time.

"That's good to know," she breathes out, shaky "because I am in love with you too."

It's George who steps forward and presses her against the wall. Y/N is ready for him, craning up, so their lips latch together like magnets. At first is gentle, soft, almost fearful, but it slowly morphs into a kiss hot and heavy, deep and merciless. They breathe in through their nostrils, so they don't have to stop kissing. There are no polite introductions, no tentative licks against the seams of their mouths. She opens up for him willingly, without being asked. Their tongues circle in a primal dance and George gets completely drunk off of it, plunging in for more.

The sound it pulls out of her makes George kiss her harder. He takes one hand from where it's tangled in Y/N's hair and trails it down her neck, her shoulder, her chest, and back around to her bum. When he creeps a hand under the skirt to palm her legs all the way up to her smooth back, the girl breaks away for air.

"Do you know," George rasps, "how crazy you make me?"

"Do I?" The question isn't provocative, is innocent. Y/N really is clueless about how she makes him feel.

"You're making me jealous all the time," George mutters. He pushes their hips closer together, and they both let out sibilant gasps.

"I thought you were in love with her. When you brought her over." Y/N is trying to regain control, but George presses in to make her shudder. "Thought it was over between us."

"It was never over." George tugs at Y/N's bottom lip with his teeth then lave over the spot with his tongue. "My body is mine, my lips and skin as well. But I am not. I am yours."

On cue, Y/N slips a hand under his tank. Her fingers meander over the grooves of George's abs, searing the skin. "Your body is yours, your lips are yours, your skin is yours. And I am. Yours," she murmurs, chest heaving.

George shuts his eyes. It feels so good. All of it. He brushes his thumb, feather-light, over her lips. His voice is dangerous, "What parts of you?"

"Everywhere," when she answers, George pulls the girl flush against him, peeling away from the wall so he can walk them both in the direction of his bedroom. Y/N lets him lead the way, as she sucks at the side of his neck. She's going to leave marks at this rate —a row of dark red roses—, and fuck it, he wants her to, so he can see the evidence of their mutual longing tomorrow. Y/N feels George's heat and his strength, there, between her legs, and it's enough to make her shudder. "Everywhere."

They don't say it while they're naked, writhing at every touch to uncharted territory, sweating from their exertions towards climax as they come together as one.

George does say, "I didn't look at anyone else since I saw you," and Y/N whispers, " I didn't think of anyone else since I thought of you."  

They say it in the daylight, over the pot of coffee Y/N brews and the out-of-a-magazine waffles she blushes at when she sheepishly serves it to George, sprinkled by powdered sugar and syrup.

"Hey," George says, pushing around the berries. She's sitting on his lap, wearing his shirt, his scent on her skin, and George feels in heaven. "I love you."

He strokes the side of her face, slowly, sweetly, shyly, until the two of them are blushing. He suspects this is one of those moments he will carry around with him like a photo in a locket —a small and lovely secret.

"And I love you, Geroge Mackay," she says in return. "More than anybody else."

►

A/N: aaaand, that’s it. Hope you enjoy it. Next week I will post the Epilogue and the heartfelt message for all of you who have read this. Lots of love. xx

[eyeslikefoxglove]

Episode 14 - WangXian are a (v soft) Battle Couple & Foxglove is hella mad

Hi! Welcome to episode 14. I should be studying. It’s day two of morning runs, so my soul has left my body already, send help. Yesterday I went to buy plants with my mum and got so excited I just whacked on a bunch of eyeshadow because I haven’t seen the outside in weeks, I’m also wearing makeup today, because I have nowhere to go, but I really need to finish this bb cream before it goes bad, so my parents are getting my full fresh faced “woke up like this and put on mascara” routine (which is a fucking lie because I’m wearing at least three blushes and two highlighters). I’m determined to get this bitch down in under five minutes so I can have another five to do eyeshadow, I have way too much eyeshadow to not wear it (I have way too much everything except maybe mascara and eyebrow stuff).

Yes, if y’all were wondering I am in fact a makeup magpie. ANYWAY BACK TO THE ACTUAL THING WE ALL CAME HERE FOR.

(Btw further down I discuss once again how shitty I think the Yunmeng sibs’ parents are if that causes an issue for you)

Ok ok ok, so I was talking with damnpoe-2187 here about how we found that sometimes WWX crossed from gremlin into asshole when he tried to get LWJ riled up. Like in the Cold Springs, putting our shippers hearts aside, that was a dick move and he should have stopped undressing the second LWJ went from annoyed to incredibly uncomfortable. I find this scene the complete opposite, a show of character development if you will. It is kind of similar in that they’re both hurt, and alone (although this time is much more serious) and there was some undressing going on; however WWX here behaves like a fool in love considerate person and knowing how uncomfortable LWJ already is tries to make it easier for him. They’re also super soft and I’m weak.

A brief interlude from my one track mind: That pond is full of corpses isn’t it? Or at least the remnants of the Murder Turtle’s meals I suppose. Damn right WWX should not have gone into the water with an open wound, but think no one should go swimming in there without a full hazmat suit tbh (I want to pump them full of antibiotics at this point ngl)

So I love this tiny montage (is it even a montage) of the, getting themselves ready to kill the Murder Turtle.

Teamwooooooork.

Listen, I have read a few fics in which their mind-meld stays in place due to reasons and I need me more of those.

Ok, turtles don’t work that way, but then again, giant murder snake-Trex-turtle so that’s low on my list of priorities. What’s not low is the fact that this guy is knee deep into pretty much a mass grave and I want to take a few showers just watching him.

Yeah, I know exactly what he’s smelling and suddenly I hope I don’t have meat for lunch today tbh.

The screaming sword has always been fucking creepy and does LWJ’s fist clench mean that he’s also hearing them?

BATTLE COUPLE! BATTLE COUPLE! BATTLE COUPLE!

So I know killing the thing took them something like six hours. And while it feels quite a long time in the show, I think that, if they cut the scene with idk, JC running towards Lotus Pier, then back to them, then back to JC, but now the sun is in a different position, back to them, but now the blood from LWJ’s hand has dripped down his arm; and so on a so forth it’d convey more clearly how long it took for the Murder Turtle to die. I know fuck all about cinematography tho so feel free to ignore all this if it is in fact an abomination.

Tiiiiiiny interlude here to say that Yiling Patriarch!WWX is probably one of my favourite character archetypes. He’s slightly creepy, slightly amoral (smiling while torturing and murdering bad guys is still amoral ok), more than a bit on the Dark Side, cocky, smirky, a bit of an asshole a BAMF, a rebel with cause and yet he will still do the right thing, not despite his nature, but because of it. He’s kind of like a Chipped Spike? But you know, he doesn’t need electroshock to behave.

I just want a fic where he’s this Dark Lord of Evil in everyone’s eyes however the ‘good guys’ take a break from trying to off him because a bigger threat just popped up and they have no choice but to ask for his help. He agrees, keeps being his charming self while also saving everyone’s asses, LWJ is smitten.

TL;DR: The Necromancer is hot. Oh and nobody dare deny LWJ has a Yiling Patriarch kink.

Oh my, this is the part when I always get teary eyed.

WUJI ON A CELLO? DO YOU WANT TO KILL ME?

“Why hasn’t Jiang Cheng shown up and rescued me yet?” THIS IS ALL THE PROOF I NEED THAT WWX IS THE BABY SIBLING.

“Lan Zhan sing me a song”

IT IS HAPPENING, STAY FUCKING CALM EVERYBODY (I’m crying)

That slideshow of their best moments set to WuJi is a masterpiece, and also, it kind of drives home the point of “how tf did we go from flirting during summer camp to this mess”?

(Btw if that’s YiBo humming he’s got one hell of a deep voice)

Ok ok ok, so this moment had me spitting up my tea the first time I watched it. Believe it or not my dumbass thought these people were actually serious with the censorship and we’d get scraps of their actual relationship. Lots of charged moments like in some other western tv shows I’ve seen when two dudes have chemistry but “they’re not gay”, no longing glances, no tender touches, no being unbelievably soft with each other; just you know, amped up, because if I’m not mistaken you can be arrested in China for “promoting the gay”. I mean, they changed the beginning when people insult MXY’s sexuality to insulting his mental health; no one would think “ah yes, the gays are good” when they hear it used as a slur, but they still erased it completely. One of the things I thought they’d fully take away was WangXian, I mean, the into/outro is named Wuji, which, you know, still a mishmash of their names, but not their ship name. It is such a significant part of the story with all the “what’s the song name? Figure it out yourself” that if something were going to give away that they’re married with a kid it would be that. I thought we’d get an artful fade to black BEFORE LWJ would say the name not after. And also, YiBo is enunciating it so clearly that, even with the sound muffled and the blurriness I, who don’t speak Chinese, can make out the two syllables. That’s deliberate, I can say “WangXian” loud and clear without moving my lips too much. At this point in time I must assume someone in charge of looking for censorship violations in the show is a fan and just ignored it.

Censorship person 1: dude, isn’t that a bit too gay, maybe you shouldn’t greenlight it.

Censorship person 2: shut the fuck up, sit here and watch.

*a full rundown of the whole of CQL later*

Censorship person 1: oh my god they’re so in love and they deserve to be happy.

Back to the commentary: I’m sorry but I have a mighty need of a WWX & Peacock friendship ok? This might be me just wanting WWX and LWJ to make other friends besides each other but I think that the Peacock is just bitchy enough to not take any of WWX’s bullshit.

And the Yunmeng bros timing for banter strikes yet again.

That’s terrible quality fake blood btw.

@ Yunmeng disciples: STOP SHOOTING FUCKING KITES PLEASE AND THANK YOU

Oooof even with a change of clothes our boy is still looking rough as hell.

MY LOVELY YUNMENG SIBS BEING SOFT AND HAPPY WITH EACH OTHER.

It hurts my soul that the second JFM starts praising WWX for surviving the Murder Turtle our boy’s knee-jerk reaction is to start praising JC in return. It is instinctive, how many times must this have happened for him to know his brother won’t even get scraps of praise? (Seriously fuck their parents)

It was going so well, I mean, JFM had a point warning him to not say things in anger. But I thought he was going to tell him that it is because sometimes he’ll hurt someone without wanting to, yet, this asshole decided to, once again, remind his kid he thinks he’s a failure.

And here comes Mme Yu who I can only assume had a servant posted at the door to warn her when WWX woke so she could throw some verbal abuse at him. I mean, she must have been missing it.

And JFM’s misogynistic bullshit strikes once again, because why defend ALL your kids when you can insult your wife.

(Every time someone berates WWX for “intervening” I want to scream. I mean, seeing this I can believe why the society as a whole thought genocide was a good idea.)

I love how they use their kids as props in their fight, I mean it’s not like they have feelings or anything. This woman is gaslight-y as hell too “you don’t love your kid because I gave birth to him”, you can’t tell me saying that in front of the son she’s supposed to love isn’t going to hurt him. And she knows it, I mean, besides the Wen attack I’ve never seen her hit the kids (although I very much doubt she hasn’t), so a good part of the abuse must be verbal. There’s no fucking way a person who regularly uses words that way won’t realise where she’s aiming those arrows. Which means to her (to both) the kids are collateral.

But FR, the barely-out-of-adolescence disaster bi necromancer PTSDing all over the place and living in a mass grave was a better parent than any of the current adults in this thing.

Which brings me to another point, Shijie is textbook “the oldest sibling is just another parent” and I’m making myself very angry.

[this is when I start frothing at the mouth and itching to write a modern-girl(and friends)-dropped-in-CQL because someone has to be a positive adult influence in these kids’ lives and it sure as shit ain’t the ones in the actual show.]

CAN WE STOP BRINGING PEOPLE’S DEAD PARENTS INTO THE FIGHT?

*deep breath*

I am going to feed JFM & Mme Yu each other’s spleens. Look, listen, look and listen, let’s first talk about how calmly they lay out the facts of their lives, one is only loved because he’s been brought up in the shadow of his dead parents, the other knows with certainty his father dislikes him and his mother uses him as leverage in marital disputes. When have these two not exploded their emotions all over the place? Fucking never. Yet here they are, talking about this bullshit like some bout of inconvenient weather. They’re used to it!

And now let’s talk about yet again siblings-are-just-extra-parents, with an added pile of WWX’s terrible self awareness that, to the man who brought him up, his worth is due to his dead parents. Again I’m extrapolating, but with the amount of times Mme Yu brings up his parents in such a negative light I refuse to believe JFM hasn’t made all the “you’re so much like your parents” comments to him every time WWX does something right. I mean, telling an orphan about their parents if they ask is a good thing, but WWX seems starved for stories about his them, which leads me to believe JFM refuses to talk about the topic except to make those little comments. What a fucking stellar way to give someone all the trauma if you ask me. May also explain a lot of WWX’s self worth issues if the biggest praise he’s ever heard is that he resembles dead people, yes, people who were loved, but they’re dead, and it doesn’t look like any adult has bothered to go and differentiate WWX from ZSSR&WCZ.

I’m just really mad, despite all the silly anecdotes I put in here my parents are fucking great at parenting, so I know what good parents should look like, and this ain’t it.

Ok, so I made myself angry and I don’t know if I should move onto the next episode now or wait till tomorrow but thanks for reading!

[alextriestowritestuff]

House of Hades Read With Me

Hey everyone, I’m back with an update. If you haven’t been following this thread, I’ve been reading the Heroes of Olympus series by Rick Riordan. I read the first three books in this series back in 2012 and never finished. If you want to know my background with the PJO series and my thoughts on the Son of Neptune (I started my re-read with that book because Lost Hero is trash imo), you can find that here. My thoughts on Mark of Athena is here. So let’s get into the House of Hades 50% update that will include spoilers so you’ve been warned. 

Okay so I’m going to use two images to convey my thoughts on this book so far:

Okay so let’s address the first image... um. I’m fucking terrified. I’m scared of Percy and I’m scared for him and Annabeth (She told him that she loves him ahhhhhh, I need him to say it back tho). My past read with me’s have been pretty harsh on the HoO series so far but I really like this book so far. Dear gods, please let the other half of the book be good! Rick you’re doing amazing sweetie (kind of-we’ll get into it). So far, I’ve cried at Percy and Annabeth thinking about each other and how tired and hungry they are. And when Percy and Annabeth were surrounded by Kelli and the other empousai and I really thought it was done for them (I know they don’t die but the fear I felt was real) then Bob came in and saved them. And when Percy was surrounded by the Arai and Annabeth was temporarily blinded by a curse. Like he literally says, if I’m going to die, I’m not going to let them hurt Annabeth and he went out fighting (out meaning unconscious in this case) ughh my heart. It was torn out of my chest!! 

Brief pause because the Arai said that Calypso cursed Annabeth because Percy left her and I just can’t really emotionally deal with that fact because Battle of Labyrinth is my favorite PJO book BECAUSE of Calypso’s appearance. I’ve held a torch for that girl to find happiness for years and to think she cursed Annabeth (Obvi she didn’t know it’d actually affect Annabeth years later), that shit kills me. But I remember thinking in the Last Olympian why Percy didn’t ask for some sort of amnesty for Calypso when he was telling the gods to claim their kids, etc. So I’m glad he realizes he f-ed up there but ugh why Calypso?? It’s okay, I know that her and Leo get together so she’ll be happy eventually. I just have to wait. 

But let’s also talk about the fact that I’m starting to feel bad for monsters? Annabeth and Percy have been reflecting on what it’s like to be sent to Tartarus by a demigod and slowly reforming. And all the curses the Arai gave Percy were manifestations of how he killed those monsters so he felt their deaths which seeing him in pain, put me in pain. Like Rick don’t do this to me. I don’t want to feel bad for monsters but I do. I’m curious to see how this experience will change Percy and Annabeth’s willingness to kill monsters in the future. I really like this presentation of the monster’s perspective, I think it’s very interesting. In relation, I’ve noticed HoO is a lot darker in theme (even before this book) just by the way they phrase things. Like the demigods will say ‘kill monsters’ or ‘kill’ very easily compared to PJO where I felt that death was sugar coated because it was a middle grade genre. Most deaths were off screen (off page?) like Beckendorf’s. Or not very grim. And this series is much more in your face about it, especially in House of Hades. It was hard to get used to at first but I think it shows maturity, it’s well within the realm of YA to kill off characters and explicitly say so it’s just strange going from PJO to this imo. 

Moving onto the next image, the slowly being seduced one. AHAHA Um can someone tell me why I was briefly seduced by Frank and Percy?? So Percy, I’m always seduced by, that’s not new. But him being scary makes him 100x more attractive. Like imagine if Percy had been on the titan’s side? The gods wouldn’t have had a chance. Here’s some quotes:

(This is after Percy kills Arachne, on pg 6) Percy kicked the dust on the rocks, his expression grim and dissatisfied. “She died too easily, considering how much torture she put you through. She deserved worse.” Annabeth couldn’t argue with that, but the hard edge in Percy’s voice made her unsettled. She’d never seen someone get so angry or vengeful on her behalf. It almost made her glad Arachne had died quickly. “How did you move so fast?”

Then when Percy convinces Bob to kill the reforming Hyperion, Annabeth thinks this: 

How was he keeping his cool? The way he talked to Bob left Annabeth awestruck…and maybe a little uneasy, too. If Percy had been serious about leaving the choice to Bob, then she didn’t like how much he trusted the Titan. If he’d been manipulating Bob into making that choice…well, then, Annabeth was stunned that Percy could be so calculating.

He met her eyes, but she couldn’t read his expression. That bothered her too (22). 

Like what?!?! Please come pick me up, Uncle Rick. I’m scared. What’s happening to Percy?? I need them to get out of there STAT! I have no theories as to why he’s acting like this (maybe it’s the energy of Tartarus) but I’m excited to see where it goes. But Scary Percy is also right up my alley so ugh, I’m conflicted. 

So next, Frank. Rick did something hella problematic here but before I get into that, here’s the line where I was slowly being seduced by him:  

Frank was faster. He lunged at Trip and slammed him into the wall, his fingers locked around the god’s throat.

“Think about your next words,” Frank warned, deadly calm. “Or instead of beating my sword into a plowshare, I will beat it into your head” (19). 

Like ngl, that choke thoo?? I’ve never been attracted to Frank but my god, the dangerous tone, the threat. I had to put my hair up and get a cold glass of water when I read that. Frank was the last person I thought would do something like this but I am not mad at all. Very Ares of him.

What I am mad about, however, is the fact that after this scene, Frank (or it’s Hazel that notices) notices that he’s becoming taller and better built. Because Mars/Ares gave him a little ‘grow spurt’. Now let me say this: I’m not one of those people who think that everything problematic was meant to be intentionally offensive/stereotyping/harmful. I know that Rick has had his fair share of controversies ever since he’s been incorporating diverse characters. That comes with the territory of writing marginalized character-I’m black and I still have watch myself in how I portray black characters. He has do the research and I don’t he did it. Sorry. 

And I’m sure I haven’t even caught half of the problematic things brought up in HoO (there’s times where Hazel’s hair or skin is described as cinnamon, like food when other non black characters don’t get that kind of description. Also the fact that her name is Hazel like Hazelnut has always bothered me but I digress). Back to Frank’s growth spurt. Prior to that, other characters have described him as a bit on the chubbier side, baby faced, ‘big guy’ (that bothers me tho but that might be an internalized societal mentality that any word like fat or big = bad. And that’s not always true but I personally don’t feel comfortable calling someone that), etc. And he’s of Asian (spec. Chinese) descent. For what it’s worth, I’m not Asian so this may be out of lane to talk about but from my personal life experiences, Asians tend to be on the smaller end of the scale when it comes to size. I am 5″7 ish, size 6 and I would be considered overweight in mainstream Asian stores but in Western stores, I’ve never had an issue fitting in something or finding my size. I also tend to have a lot of options fashion wise. I have an Asian friend (Lmao I feel like one of those yt people who are like I have a black friend so I can say this and that. sorry I’m trying to get a point across) and she is plus sized. She doesn’t fit into the straight sizes in America so by Asian standards, she’s considered anywhere from moderately to morbidly obese. And she faces a lot of judgement from her Asian relatives because of it in addition to the fatphobia that has infiltrated American society as well. 

My friend doesn’t see a lot of representation for Asians her size. If she does she sees Asians that isn’t as thin and small, it’s people with my size who are considered thin by Western standards but ‘big’ by Asian sizing. My problem with having Frank be given a growth ‘spurt’ is that it’s erasing that plus sized Asian representation. This wouldn’t have been a good thing to do to ANY character that was plus sized but do you see where it’s even more problematic to do because of his Asian ancestry? It would’ve been fine if at the end of the series, he got hella fit and happens to be more in shape because of all the fighting he’s done but to be given that growth spurt implies that there was something wrong with his size in the first place. And so far, the other demigods have been taking him more seriously (Frank notes that Leo has stopped teasing him as much) which is kind of thin privilege esque to me. Frank may not be my favorite character but he deserved respect, no matter his size. I think this growth spurt aspect was hella problematic and Rick shouldn’t have done it. It was also unnecessary as hell. He looked fine before and could do everything the other (thinner) demigods could do just as well.

This is getting long so let me get to my last couple of points: Nico and the many, unnecessary POVs.

As y’all know by now, I think Nico deserves rights. He deserves friends and place to call home where he belongs. Both Frank and Jason didn’t want to be alone with Nico because they thought he was creepy and I can see where this is a set up to eventually have him fit in but damn, he’s just a kid. Be nice to my son. I feel like one of those mom’s who just wants their kid to make a friend at school. Will Solace as his love interest please come sooner. Again, I’ve been spoiled to this. I’m interested to see how this pans out and if this relationship will be a kind of aside mention like the fact that Grover and Juniper are dating or will it be given the same focus as opposite sex couples like Percabeth and Jasper. And I already knew Nico liked Percy but I didn’t expect it to come out in the way it had. It makes his relationship with Percy make a lot more sense. And I see how Nico could view him in that sense after Percy saved him and Bianca in Titan’s Curse and how he was like the real life version of his Mythomagic games (also I totally forgot he played that, he’s not that excited little boy anymore ugh, his innocence left ever since Bianca died). Overall, I think Nico being gay was handled well-Jason’s reaction was very straight but supportive so he gets a pass there. My point is Nico deserves the world. That’s all. 

The POVs. Again, I don’t know if people who aren’t writers would have an issue with the POVs in this series but I do. So far, we’ve had Hazel, Leo, Frank, Annabeth, Percy, and Jason narrate. I said this before, Rick needs to stick to 3 or 4 POVs because this shit don’t make sense. Annabeth and Percy are in the same setting together, they can’t even go on side quests because they’re in Tartarus so like why do we need both of them to narrate?? If they separate at some point, maybe. Don’t get me wrong, I love their narration but it’s jarring as hell to keep bouncing from POV to POV. I also saw somewhere that they don’t get a narration POV in Blood of Olympus in which case, I sure as hell don’t want to be reading the POV in the HoO characters who I don’t really jive with except Leo. So Hazel is going to be important to the Mist thing whatever, it makes sense she gets a POV (and she hasn’t had one since tSoN/same with Jason but the Lost Hero instead) but Frank and Leo? And I really thought since it’s 5 demigods (Percabeth in Tartarus) they’re going to be able to do side quests with all 5 of them that we didn’t need so many POVs but guess I was wrong. Idk it’s driving me insane, Rick should’ve done third person omniscient (Think Harry Potter and it can still follow different people like Percabeth in Tartarus). 

Damn, if this is how much I have to say about the first half of HoH, I’m really excited to get back to reading the last half. I’m HELLA looking forward to have Reyna join the quest temporarily (where I left off, she is on her way to the 5 demigods). I want the Piper/Reyna/Jason thing to be resolved (a lil drama would be nice) so Piper can stop being annoying and insecure. I want to know who Coach Hedge has been talking to and is he a good guy? Oh and another thing that’s been bothering me is Gale, Hecate’s polecat? It just farts all the time. And I have to remember I’m 20 and this books isn’t targeted to me so juvenile humor isn’t funny to me anymore but it’s just kind of gross and unnecessary?? 

Anyway, I’m going to have to start a new post for the last half of my HoH read with me because this thing is long. But you guys, I am invested into this book. It is on par with my love for PJO books so far. I could give this book a 4.5 stars (despite some faults) if it keeps going this way. Thanks for reading! 

[kill-ie]

Here have some rather odd threats

I will swallow your leg

i will liquify your eyeballs and make you drink your eye juice

i will cut the webbing between your finger with a rusty knife and make you lick up the blood

i will replace your stomach with a small black whole and cause your body to slowly implode and be crushed from the inside out

sit down before i bash your empty head with 39 spoons and a fucking bible

i will literally rip every bone out of your body and turn it to jello then force feed it to you

i will turn you into a fucking potato and play soccer with you till i get bored and feed you to a pig if you say that again

i am going to shove a butternut squash so far down your throat your stomach will start reciting the bible

i am going to chop your hands off, turn them into gloves and then strangle you with them on

i will skin you alive and wear you as a fursuit

i will boil your teeth

i will roast your ribs and sell them to the nearest chinese restaurant

im gonna dismember you for doubting me

i will shove you into the mc donalds toilet while eating my happy meal and pouring your protien shake over your head. i will then remove your teeth and use them in place of ice cubes. you will finish the tooth cola with toilet water and protien shake soaked head and shirt

i will skin you, and then i will melt your bones. i will then solidify them into one large cube, and then carve several sculptures of you. i will then throw said sculptures at your mother, and say "that was a pretty good joke you made, have several of the same one so it becomes overused and never funny again, like most dad jokes

shut the fuck up before i turn your dick inside out with a peeler

who's stopping me from finding your house and pissing in your frudge huh

i will break out your third vertebrae and use it as a cock ring

i will turn your ribs inside out

i will double the amount of bones in your body

i will turn you inside out

i swear to god ping everyone here again i'll fucking get a rusty spoon and scoop your fucking eye goop out then shove it up your fucking anud with a shit of hydrolic acid

i am going to use temporal manipulation to age you into a boomer so your body is too old and frail to stop me from chopping you up into square shaped pieces and building a mini minecraft house with your body

i'll fucking disect you and put your brain into three frogs

i will teleport into your fucking driveway and piss on your car before entering your house and filling your entire fucking prostate with ranch cum

i will rip your hands off your body in your sleep

i'll horribly crop your entire body

i will build a chair out of your bones

fuck off or i will make you shit your own teeth like kidney stones

i will find your house, burst into your bathroom while you are showering and fill your sinuses with cement

i'll send peppa pig to suck you off

i will shoot a hole in your hand and use it as a fleshlight

i hope you accidentally put water in your frosted flakes

shut the fuck up before i sew your mouth shut with your computer wires

i will not hesitate to fill your fleshlight with thumbtacks

i will crack your dick like a glowstick

shut the fuck up or i'll rip out your spinal cord while you are sleeping

i will grind your bones into hot chocolate

i will serve some of your cock for thanksgiving instead of turkey

i will personally fucking shove your spinal cord up your arse and rip it out so you'll spin like a damn bayblade if you dont shut the fuck up

i will bisect your testicles and make salad out of your skin

i will literally shove your remote up your ass so deep you gotta bite down to switch the channel

i will literally rip your toenails off one by onr and shove them up your ass and then shove a chalkboard coated dildo up there so you know what the sound of nails on a chalkboard sounds like echoing in the empty chambers of your lower intestine

then feel the wrath of a thousand suns, the weight of the earth, moon and stars will strike you down with such force and accuracy that you will know no ending to the suffering. your sins will follow you to hell, and at deaths grave repose, you will have no eulogy, no mourning will be done that day. only celebration, instead, those that you knew in life will dance on your sodden amd accursed grave, your rotting corpse will be the subject of jeers and laughter. jokes, numerous in nature will be made at your expense, misery and hatred will be had at you in hell where you belong, lucifer himself will make great amusement of torturing your decrepit and downtrodden soul into the vast eternity of ever moving time

i will fill your garden with uncooked pasta and play the saxaphone with your spine

i will personally unbraid your DNA from the inside

i'll use your mouth to make instant noodles

i'm gonna line a treadmill with sand paper and grind your teeth on it

i will swallow your organs like a fine cuisine

i will glue your hair to a pocket rocket and send your scalp to space

i will scramble your kidney and feed it to you on a biscuit

i will find you and eat your fridge

if you do that one more time i will inhale your vocal cords

i hope you get strapped to a chair and forced to listen to jar jar binks playing the recorder for the rest of the decade, fed with a single slice of bread for each meal

if you dare fucking talk again i will rip out your urethra and use it as a belt

i'll cut you with a kitchen utensil only master chefs have heard of

i will turn you into a desert and the blood that pumps through your being will be the sand that keeps the desert dead

i will use your forearms as chopsticks to consume your kneecaps

im gonna put spider eggs in the corner of your mouth where you cant reach

i will cut your fucking vocal cord and then make you fucking eat it

i will deep fry your eyelashes and put them in a salad which i'll force feed you, while simultaneously shoving your own foot so far up your ass it gets lodged in your throat so you choke on deep-fried eyelash salad and foot

i’m redirecting the income of my platonic love for you to my pillow

i will rip out your large intestine, fry it in diet orange powerade and wrap it around the christmas tree

i shall turn you into a microwaved burrito

i’ll bash you over the head with a femur

your mum should have eaten you as a baby when your bones were still soft

if you dont stop, imma go to medical school, spend hella cash and several years to gain my license and become a doctor so i can surgically open her chest, fill the entire body with beans and seal it shut without her dying

i will find you and slowly fill your room with crickets

i will boil your teeth then i will fill your ears with concrete and your sinuses with urine followed by an inversion of your ribcage that will end your judgementalist life. and i may or may not harvest your toes and then fillet your tongue

this shit makes me wanna boil my teeth and use ur skin as a fursuit

if yall can think of more pls add some

edit: more added