#this show altered my brain chemistry (positive)

[kavehayati]

I wish I could inject pasilyo into my brain so I can have permanent happiness

[gingerjolover]

your naomi blurb altered my brain chemistry and i need more 🥹 this is one idea that has been eating at my brain~

their gf getting ready, doing makeup + getting dressed etc while naomi is in bed bc they take approximately 5 seconds to get ready and so don’t need to be up. when they do eventually get up and see their gf they go so soft and lovey and won’t stop saying how beautiful she is🤭

i had to get up early to paint my brothers nails and do his makeup for his halloween parade at school so enjoy this mini fic that i typed entirely on my phone and didn’t even attempt to edit 🥳

wc: who the hell knows bc i’m on my phone :)

Naomi sleeps like a log, no matter how many times you snooze your alarm, they’re still curled into you. Even after you shut it off and get out of bed, Naomi is still snoozing away, their bare torso barely exposed by the duvet, only their nose, closed eyes and hair poking over the covers.

There’s a lot to do today, the dog needs to go to the vet, you absolutely need groceries, there’s prescriptions waiting at the pharmacy, and your friends wedding is tomorrow and you desperately want a manicure and pedicure.

Getting ready in the mornings is lonely, Naomi taking all of 10 minutes to get dressed, do skin care, and get their shoes on means you get up a lot earlier. Even if you’re just doing skin care and picking an outfit, you move a little slower, taking your time.

You’re sitting at the vanity (that Jo and Naomi so painstakingly built last christmas - never give them hammers) applying your skin care. Halfway applying your vitamin C serum you hear ruffling, Naomi readjusting in bed, the soft lights from the vanity making their way to their eye-line. Your view of their face in the mirror disappears, only their hair and upper back is showing, it takes everything in you to stay seated and not go take a bite out of your partners shoulder.

You finish your light makeup surprisingly quick, the morning sun aiding you in your lowlight makeup station. There’s a pregnant pause as you look at your closet, pursing your lips as you think about what to wear. A quick check of the weather you’re standing up, grabbing your favorite pair of jeans and a light top, LA too hot even in late October (hehe). As soon as your pajama shirt comes off you hear a huff, turning around seeing Naomi in bed, arms behind their head, upper body leaning against the headboard. You jump back, startled by their sudden position.

“You’re a creep,” you snort, slipping on a bralette, adjusting it before removing your pajama pants.

“And you’re beautiful,” Naomi counters, eyes widening and head leaning forward to get a better view of your bare legs. You toss your pajama pants at their face, Naomi catching them as they chuckle softly. “Don’t be mean,” Naomi huffs, sinking further into the bed, getting comfortable so they can watch you.

“Did you do your makeup already?” Naomi asks, yawning, hand scratching at their left collarbone.

“Yes?”

“Fuck,” Naomi whines.

“Why? What’s wrong you big baby?” you giggle, hiking your jeans up your legs and buttoning them.

“I wanted to watch you,” Naomi groans, watching you diligently as you slip on your shirt. “So pretty” they mumble.

“I still have to do my mascara,” you offer, the small playful frown on Naomi’s face makes your insides turn, wondering if you could hand them the moon right now.

“Ooh yes!” Naomi cheers, rubbing their hands together.

“You’re so weird,” you comment, putting your pajamas in the hamper before walking over to the bed, leaning over and kissing Naomi softly. Their hand immediately holds the back of your head, lips moving with yours, pulling you onto them. Their hand squeezes your ass softly, nuzzling into you, your hand rubbing their torso.

“Are you getting up?” you ask softly, kissing Naomi’s cheek.

“Mhm,” eyes shining as they stare at you. There’s a softness in them, looking at you like you pulled the sun up this morning yourself. Naomi grins cheekily, smacking a kiss to your lips with an audible ‘mwah’ sound.

“Good morning by the way,” you say finally, pushing some of their curls away from their eyes. “Mornin baby,” they say softly, holding you close in a hug before releasing you, tapping your butt as you stand up.

Naomi stands, stretching, boxers peeking above the pajama pants that hang low on their hips. Naomi’s arms flex as they stretch, your eyes running down their body. “No staring, bunny,” Naomi teases, winking and laughing as you turn away quickly, going to the vanity to apply your mascara and spray some perfume.

Naomi rubs your back as they pass you, heading to the closet to get their clothes for the day. You turn to the side, watching Naomi slide their pants up their legs, eyes burning a hole in the side of your head as they watch you fix your lashes. “You’re so fucking pretty,” they murmur, buttoning their pants.

“Shut up,” you say, eyes wide as you attempt to fix your mascara without compromising your under eyes.

Naomi comes over, still shirtless, and squats next to you, chin on your shoulder, watching you as you finish. “I can’t help it, look at you,” they say, watching your reflection in the mirror, half lidded eyes and parted mouth, they turn their head to leave a long sweet kiss on your cheek. “Beautiful girl,” Naomi mumbles, leaving a few quick pecks there before going to find a shirt and shoes.

You sit at the small bench and wait, watching them finish getting ready, knowing that it will take all of 5 minutes in the bathroom for them to use the bathroom, brush their teeth, and do skincare.

“Can I put your perfume on?” Naomi’s asking, almost sheepishly.

“Mhm,” you nod, wiggling your fingers at the small dish, telling Naomi to pick one for the day. They automatically reach for the one they got you on your birthday last year. You stand, Naomi chuckles as they spritz a few times and make you walk through it, hips moving side to side. You giggle as Naomi spritzes again, holding a hand out for you and making you twirl under their arm and into their embrace. Naomi kisses your neck under your ear before doing two half sprays on each side and a small one on the hollow of your throat. “There you go baby doll,” Naomi murmurs, tucking your hair behind your ears. “Fuck,” they say, eyes darting all over your face. “You’re so pretty baby,” Naomi groans, kissing your nose softly.

“Okay, enough, go wash your face,” you giggle, pushing Naomi away and towards the en suite.

You head downstairs and not even 5 minutes later, Naomi comes downstairs, ready and fresh faced. Your dog is instantly on them, mooching, asking for treats.

“Mama would kick my ass bud, after the vet, okay? shhh” they say softly, conspiring with your dog who’s tail his wagging at max speed.

You give Noami a look, one eyebrow raised as you grab their car keys, both of your bags, the dog’s leash and y’all’s water bottles. Naomi shrugs innocently, “What babe? I didn’t give him anything!” they say softly. You’re rolling your eyes, smiling creeping up your face as you hand Naomi the leash.

Naomi looks down at your sweet pup, kneeling down and connecting the leash to his collar, “I told you man, she’s the boss,” they say, while shaking their head.

[joels6string]

Fluff: 13

Smut: 26

Joel 💜💜💜

this altered my brain chemistry, i also added in a request for "Please kiss me" because it all just seemed to fit.

13. cuddles of consolation 3. “Please kiss me.” || 26. “I want you to ruin me.” Word Count: 1019 Content: sub!Joel, oral m-receiving, unprotected p-in-v

it's just you and me

Joel Miller x f!reader

Muscles as impenetrable as boulders protested the kneading of your fingers, his shoulders so tense they almost touched his ears as he sat hunched in the kitchen chair. Joel had arrived home spent and desolate, words evading him as they did when his defenses weakened, but he didn’t need to speak. It was written on his face, the fine lines that decorated his skin a little deeper, his hazel eyes darker than usual, you didn’t ask. 

The acceptance of your thumbs as you pressed them where his neck met his torso told you more than any lie he would muster, an “I’m fine” would have slipped out with his tone telling the truth. He wasn’t fine. You wished he’d understand that it was okay. But he never would.

“You need to relax,” you cooed as you pressed against a hardened knot, his hiss of discomfort at least proving he hadn’t numbed himself entirely, “C’mon, you’re all right.”

He shook his head, always so stubborn, but it was better than a lie. His body leaning back against the wooden chair stopped your already aching fingers, his head tilting back to lean against your chest, and immediately your arms wrapped around his neck. If he wanted to be close, you’d get him closer.

Your lips couldn’t press to his fast enough, your hands diving beneath the buttons of his loose flannel to rake over his chest reverently as you poured silent devotion into his hesitant affections. A whispered “I love you” hit you as you paused for air, his breath trembling as he muttered the words, and you kissed his hesitation away, a hand lifting to cup his chin as your tongue lapped against his kiss-drunk pout.

“Go lay down,” you sighed against him as he chased you in your retreat, “clothes off.”

“Yes ma’am,” he obeyed, relief flooding his features as you relinquished your hold and allowed him to stand, his feet dragging against the wooden floor as he undid the buttons of his shirt. 

When you joined him in the small room you shared, he was flat on the mattress, not a lick of clothing present, his fist lazily stroking over his half-hardened cock. With a click of your tongue, you batted his hand away, reminding him that he was now yours to control. A heady sigh echoed over the walls, his chest heaving as you grazed your fingers over the scar decorating his skin only the beginning.

“No hands,” you instructed, the pad of your thumb pressing down onto a nipple pebbling in the cool evening air, “no arguing. Be good.”

“Okay,” he quavered, your eyes locking on his fully erect length laying thick against his stomach.

The slide of your lips on the thick vein currently pulsing from his core had his fists balling into the old quilt covering the bed, his teeth gnashing together as you teased him with slow drags, spitting slightly as you went. The familiar, salty tang of him settled in your taste buds as you swiped at the pearl oozing from the tip, your mouth engulfing the soft spongy head challenging his self-control as he anchored his hips to the bed.

This was a position you found yourself in often, your throat opening easily to sheath him completely, a groan of appreciation rumbling from the man above you. When your fingers threaded with his, he knew what it meant, his hips thrusting up gently as you sloppily glucked around him. Muttered curses chanted out like a prayer as he watched the way you swallowed him with ravenous eyes, your fingers pressing to the stretch of skin behind his sack lighting a fire in his belly.

As the telltale signs of his impending release began to show, you pulled yourself off much to his dismay, a frustrated snarl pulling a mischievous smile as you wiped the strings of drool dripping off your chin.

“Please kiss me,” he begged as your panties hit the floor, your bared form too much for him to resist, and his pleading tone too much for you to deny.

“No hands,” you reminded as you leaned down, your nipples grazing tauntingly against his chest as you gave him what he wanted, taking it away too soon to satisfy him completely.

“Let me taste you,” he requested so sweetly you had a difficult time denying it, your legs straddling his waist in response, the feeling of your soaked slit pressing against him making him squirm, “Just fuckin’ ruin me.”

That was an invitation you would not refuse. He cried out into the dim room as you sunk down onto his cock, your dripping heat wrapped around him so tightly for a moment he felt invincible. Your own desire was fueling you now, the stretch of him too much to deny yourself as you bounced without abandon, his eyes locked on the way he disappeared into you completely with every slide. Every scrape of your clit against the thick thatch of curls at the base of him sent you closer to the clouds, your head tossed back as you used him in a chase for euphoria. 

“Not yet,” you sighed as he began to whine, the elastic in your belly ready to snap as you found the angle that had every trigger being tapped with each descent over his girth.

“Yes ma’am,” he panted, your rule being broken as he gripped your hips hard enough to leave bruises, but you were past caring. 

When you clenched around him he had no control, your releases were simultaneous as you collapsed onto his damp chest, his hips rutting up into you as he spilled hot and thick inside of you, groaning in relief as his arms wrapped you up tightly. It was here you stayed as your lungs regulated, your lips drifting to drag along his throat as he drifted through the gardens of awake and asleep. You soothed him to settle for the night with your fingers in his hair, only leaving to clean yourself up and settle back in, his sleeping arms still waiting to grip you tightly when you returned.

Joel Miller Masterlist

[shiicheol]

silent conversations ~ 3

‣ pairing: jeon wonwoo x oc 

‣ summary: Maxine found comfort in regularly sending messages to the number of her deceased ex, seeing no harm in it—until she received a response from a persistent stranger named Wonwoo. What are the chances of forming a connection with this unexpected stranger? How will their story unfold?

‣ genre: strangers to lovers. angst.

‣ chapters:

one

two

‣ disclaimer: The ideas and personalities depicted in this Alternate Universe (AU) do not reflect the actual views or characteristics of the artists. Their names are used purely as placeholders. Please remember that these stories are fictional and do not represent reality. Thank you!

Wonwoo's POV

In a world where billions of people live, there is that unique shared characteristic or experience with someone you have never or will never meet.

This shows the undeniable interconnectedness of one another.

They say, one of the few ways to connect with people is to have a high level of empathy or to have lived a similar life as the other.

I'd typically be glad that in at least one in a billion, there stood a person who can understand me.

But here I am in that exact situation, nowhere close to feeling ecstatic.

How? How can you feel such positive emotions when you know someone is struggling?

How can I feel relief upon catching sight of a lonely, lost soul?

~ TEXT CONVERSATION ~

Texting Stranger

I'm sorry.

I was drunk out of my mind. I called you at such an inappropriate time, you should have not picked up. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Wonwoo

Will all our conversations play out like this?

Texting Stranger

What?

Wonwoo

You apologizing despite not doing anything wrong.

Texting Stranger

I called you. I'm a stranger.

Wonwoo

I don't mind.

Texting Stranger

It's still wrong. I'm sorry. I'll refrain myself next time. There's something about alcohol that alters my brain chemistry.

Wonwoo

If it helps you to message the number, then it will never be a bother.

~ A FEW DAYS LATER ~

Wonwoo's POV

It was 2 am and I was just about to go to bed when my phone suddenly rang.

"Texting Stranger," appeared on the screen.

I looked at it with wide eyes, expecting a call from her soon but definitely not this soon.

I cleared my throat before picking up, "Love..." said the other end with a drunken voice.

"P-please, come back. I'm sorry, love. I miss you, please."

In a situation like this, no amount of words can comfort a person. In fact, there were no right words.

So I did what I seemed to have been doing best.

I hummed her a lullaby.

It went on.. 

And on... 

And on...

Until slurred words turned into murmurs.

Until murmurs turned into quiet snores.

Similar to the other night, I waited.

I waited with the moon.

I waited until the quiet snores stabilized.

I waited until the sun rose.

I too was falling asleep but how could I leave?

When the person at the end of the line had put up with sleepless nights.

What was a little waiting, right?

~ TEXT CONVERSATION ~

Texting Stranger

Fuck.

I did it again.

I can't help myself.

The next time you see a call, please decline.

Or simply do not pick up.

Do both of us a favor.

Wonwoo

What?

No one is stopping you.

Call me if you need to.

Text if you need to.

As long as it brings you comfort, then keep doing it.

Texting Stranger

Why?

Wonwoo

What?

Texting Stranger

Why do you speak as if what I'm doing isn't a bad thing?

Wonwoo

Why do you speak as if what you're doing IS a bad thing?

Wonwoo's POV

And so the late-night call became a routine.

There were no words exchanged between the both of us.

Just the phrases she consistently slurred, calling out to the unknown.

And my humming echoed throughout my dark room, with the reflection of the moon being the only source of light.

Moments like these I think of being under the same moonlight.

With someone, I've been talking to for weeks.

With someone, I can somehow relate to.

But also with someone who I do not know.

A FEW DAYS LATER

I'm falling asleep. No call from you tonight? I thought to myself.

It's 3:30 am, I guess not.

However, my thoughts were interrupted when I suddenly heard the loud ringing from my tiny device. 

Incoming Call From "Texting Stranger" Words on my phone flashed.

Just when I was about to fall asleep, the call I've been waiting for is finally here.

"Hey! Love! Hello, love! Let's party like old times!" said the voice.

What? Is she out partying?

Based on the loud background and her voice, I was able to tell that she was not within the comforts of her home.

She was out.

In a club.

So as calmly as possible, I asked.

"Where are you?"

Just as expected, there was no response from her.

Nothing but slurred words.

"Please, help me out here. Where are you?" I said as slowly as I could in hopes of helping her understand it better.

"I don't know. I'm here." She said, followed by a giggle.

I sigh and waited for any sign.

I was losing hope until I heard a booming voice from the background.

"Are you feeling hot tonight? Well, the night in Xylo has just begun!" said who I assume to be the DJ of the bar.

Got it.

As I was on the way to Xylo, I thought about the odds of me doing this in the first place.

I shouldn't feel obligated to do this.

I was a stranger. 

She was a stranger.

But maybe for once, letting go of the infamous notion, of "Stranger, danger" wouldn't be too bad.

My thoughts were interrupted as soon as I saw that my ride had stopped in the club I promised I would never step foot on.

Yet here I am to save another lost soul.

But this time, it was no longer myself.

As soon as I entered, I let my eyes wander.

There, I locked eyes with people who drank in celebration, heartbreak, and simply to let loose.

But how can I possibly find someone who I do not know the appearance of?

How do I find someone who refuses to be found?

Thus, I let my eyes wander then as if everything had gone in slow motion.

Bingo.

I spotted her.

How?

Because she was shining.

Because she looked sad.

Because out of everyone there, one only had the ability to look dashing despite being in such a state.

Because there she stood with a glint in her eyes that held a thousand emotions.

Because there she stood silent, with hundreds of people that somehow made her look lonelier than ever.

[hihelloheyhowdy]

Dating Shoto Todoroki Headcanons (including photos and songs)

a/n: reader is a hopeless romantic, some ooc, Todoroki loves Sanrio, gender neutral reader, afab reader for photos (i'll make an amab version of the photos if i get a request)

--------

Category one; the written

Todoroki is the type to want to try every love language to see what he feels fits him best since he didn't express much love as a child nor did he express it

he then gets really into those diy gifts and small meaningful ones

cute origami paper rings, those cute paper records with spotify codes of love songs stuck to the back, ext.

would buy you random tiny things that made him think of you, like a keychain of your favorite tv show character, or a tiny plushie of your favorite animal, or even just some cute pens he thought you'd like to use

definitely the type to get you flowers and keep one from the bouquet to know when it's time to get you new ones

buys you expensive jewelry for your anniversaries, funded by Endeavor's black card of course

loves when you gift him things back

if you made him bracelets he would wear them every. signal. day.

they will never come off you can't convince him to take them off

the only time he does is to use his quirk so they don't get burned/frozen

other than that he will literally have to die and even then you'll have to unmend them from his decaying corpse

type to get matching jewelry like necklaces (less likely to be damaged by his quirk)

would get matching ear piercings, you guys get matching earrings, and he pisses his father off it's two wins in one.

quality time but he would be way too busy however since you're both students at UA you still get to see each other and hangout after at the dorms

his acts of service are things like helping one another with homework/training, helping with cleaning, making sure you eat, stay hydrated, and get enough rest

definitely the type to try to help you sleep anyway he can if you have sleep issues and need comfort (although it's a little awkward at first cause he doesn't know what to do)

struggled at first with wording when it came to affirmations but has gotten used to randomly whispering sweet nothings or writing them on little notes he'll leave in your dorm/bag

examples "i love you" "you look pretty today" "you did a really good job in training today i'm proud of you" ext.

he also will compliment you from time to time

call him pretty.

PLEASE JUST DO IT.

he will ABSOLUTELY love it, he's so used to people saying things like he's handsome and attractive but he's never heard really heard pretty, and especially likes it when it comes from you

blink and you'll miss the blush the lined his cheeks the first time you called him that

he will literally accept no other form of compliments on his appearance from then on

will literally text you a photo of his outfit followed by a "is this pretty?"

and when you start calling him "pretty boy" specifically "my pretty boy" he will have an internal crisis

yes.

just yes.

he is yours, you think he is pretty, he is your pretty boy

his brain chemistry is suddenly altered and in order to survive he needs you to call him your pretty boy every two business days

he NEEDS to be touching you in some way shape or form if you're next to each other, he is the absolute CLINGIEST but in the cutest way possible

not the biggest fan of pda tho so it's small things

intertwined pinkies before training as a promise to be safe

hand holding when walking together

hand on your knee/thigh or around your waist under tables

rubs your calf if you're seating behind him with you're leg stretched out

head on your shoulder and vice versa

rubs your shoulders when he is standing behind you

if you're alone he'll wrap his hands around your waist

he is also an AMAZING cuddler

will literally cuddle in whatever position he doesn't care, little spoon, big spoon, pretzel, sweethearts cradle, honeymoon hug, chest rest, he doesn't care he likes the comfort

def keeps you warm/cool with the help of his quirk depending on the weather

he just adores holding you as close as possible, he feels safe and loved, and he knows you're safe and with him and he can express his love to you in this way

loves it when you play with his hair while he's sleepy, especially if he has his head on his on your lap like it's so nice

he will literally feed into your pinterest couple fantasies

you think taking couple photos like that is cute? done. he will take as many as you like.

if you're going out for a date then their to places like cat cafes, picnics, aquariums, a new movie you really want to see, or a local cafe

at home dates would be cuddling up in one of your dorms, watching movies, doing skincare

he would actually really like to watch romcoms cause he's never seen any so he wants to know what they're like

his favorite would be Princess Dairies 2; The Royal Engagement

He would also love Studio Ghibli movies

you guys could also bake together especially around the holidays id imagine he looks really cute in a pastel pink apron with heart all over you lent him

everyone in 1-A would know you guys have romantic feelings for each other, you'd probably confirm it when Mina asks

was not shocking news tbh

like all it takes is for someone to notice one look he gives at you and you can tell he's down horribly

would play board/video games as you guys wear face masks

honestly Shoto is type that either doesn't catch feelings or catches them really hard

like he would be down BAD

so honestly he'll do anything you ask

he LOVES kissing, like any form of it

quick pecks as a good morning or a good night

forehead kisses when one of you is sleepy and laying their head on the other person

a cheek kiss you'd give him just cause you felt like it and vice versa

he especially loves slow, love filled, kisses.

his kisses are rarely ever driven by lust, and even if so it's small amounts of it they're always filled with so much love

he could actually just sit there cuddling and kissing you for days

please he is literally so whipped for your physical affection

fucking loves plushies, will cherish them forever

get matching build-a-bears PLEASE PLEASE HE WILL DRAG YOU BY YOUR HAIR WHEN THE SANRIO ONES COME OUT

name them after each other, you just have one named "sho sho"

would literally cuddle it to sleep when you're not sleeping with him

he loves fluffy ones, squishmellows, CAT AND SANRIO PLUSHIES.

if y'all traveled together he would plan EVERYTHING and it would be on Endeavor's card

five star everything only the best for y'all

refused to pack anything but like five first aid kits SPECIFICALLY to have an excuse to spend Endeavor's money

Takes turns driving during road trips, listens to your playlist (he would just listen to all your favorite artists+albums) brings blankets and plushies to make it all comfortable, like a pillow fort in the car

it's a fancy car rented with Endeavor's money

if it's by plane it's a first class ticket, literally sets everything up to make sure you're treated like royalty

literally does whatever you want no matter how expensive, probably gets matching luxury items

at first you feel really bad but then you're like "mmm he's a horrible person and has money might as well spend some of it for Shoto's years of trauma"

Would plan a trip to Las Vegas to go to the famous Hello Kitty hotel (yes he is THE sanrio fan)

then has the ingenious idea to pretend to elope to fuck with his dad.

will literally buy you a tiffany and co engagement ring and gets a whole fancy suit when he asks you will full seriousness then of course buys you a matching dress/tuxedo

like it's a whole a plan of a fancy engagement, rented high end restaurant, gets your nails done, a pianist, a bunch of flowers, ext.

makes you think what his actually engagement plans would be

gets a photographer and takes extravagant photos to send to his dad

literally gets Natsuo and Fuyumi in on it (Natsuo was laughing, Fuyumi was gonna have a heart attack)

takes a nice "honeymoon" to Hawaii (he wanted to buy the special addition Hawaii Sanrio merchandise)

Natsuo sent you a video of Endeavor almost burning his phone at the photos

He would also love Disneyland like would get annual passes to go and you're like "we dont live in California" and he's like "buying a private jet on dads black card"

wants to try all the Disneyland special food and buys one of those books to get signed by all the characters

buys the matching Gucci x Disneynote books just to have an excuse to spend more of his dad's money (he thinks it's ducking hilarious and you can't convince him otherwise)

"we can use them for class" "Shoto Todoroki I'm not using a luxury notebook for class" "Why not?"

This was all durning whatever time of summer break he available to him

So you get back to UA still wearing your engagement ring (he refuses to let you take it off)

Midorya is the one who notices and he freaked out

"Y-YOU GUYS GOT ENGAGED?"

Shoto is completely nonchalant about it he would probably even be like

"technically we got eloped"

a collective "WHAT?" rises through the dorm

"where?" "in America" "why?" "why not."

Bakugo is not having it

"DUMBASS ICY HOT YOU CANT GET ELOPED YOURE NOT LEGAL YET"

"and how would you know?"

"BITCH WHAT DO YOU MEAN"

you're just in the corner with a face of disappointment

"Guys we didn't actually get eloped, or engaged."

everyone calms down, then Momo asks

"why the tiffany's engagement ring?"

"long story, don't ask."

will then on randomly refer to you as his wife.

"Can I get a water and a juice for my wife"

don't even suggest the possibility that you won't actually get married. In his head it's a "you will marry me!" not a "will you marry me?"

when it comes to actually pet names he cringes at "bae" or "babe" but things "honey" or "sweetheart" make you guys sound like a 95 yearold couple so he has settled for "love" and "darling"

"love can you pass me the english notes" "darling did you get the answer to number 12?"

always looking for you in everything, and not just literally. When he is around you his eyes will always find a way to wonder over to you, when he isn't he always finds a way to relate everything back to you.

his thoughts are like "look at this spoon, y/n uses a spoon on our dates, i should text them"

texts using the Japanese keyboard emojis cause he's gotten so used to using them with Fuyumi

you're one of the first people he finds himself wanting to tell about anything good or bad

and he also wants to be there listening and offering advice and comfort when you need it

if you guys are going to a formal event he would literally rent a limbo and everything

he is just down really REALLY bad and wants to create so many memories together

on that note he has a drawer/box full of mementos. various types of tickets, polaroids, cards, notes, receipts, keychains, ext.

It literally looks like a shrine of stuff and he refuses to let anyone near the drawer until you discovered it one day

one of the very few moments he actually had a deep blush as you ranted about how euphorically heartwarming it felt to know he kept all that stuff

barely used social media himself but when you started using it would post you on his story every week or two

would be down to do couple trends with you

MATCHING SANRIO PFPS

he is just a very much in love boy

Category two; relationship playlist

Money Honey - Lady Gaga

Gorgeous - Taylor Swift

Die For You - The Weekend

Something About You - Eyedress

Lover - Taylor Swift

Daylight - Taylor Swift

pov - Ariana Grande

Paper Rings - Taylor Swift

Call It What You Want - Taylor Swift

Enchanted - Taylor Swift

Willow - Taylor Swift

Apocalypse - Cigarettes After Sex

Daydreamin' - Ariana Grande

Lovers Rock - TV Girl

Let's Get Married - Bleachers

Pretty Boy - The Neighborhood

Lavender Haze - Taylor Swift

Sweet Nothing - Taylor Swift

Sunflower, Vol. 6 - Harry Styles

Tokyo Love Hotel - Rina Sawayama

They Don't Know About Us - One Direction

18 - One Direction

Magic - One Direction

Last First Kiss - One Direction

First Date - Blink-182

I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys

505 - Arctic Monkeys

Blushing! - Between Friends

Better Friends - Between Friends

Love Me Like You Do - Little Mix

Voodoo Doll - 5 Seconds of Summer

Kiss Me Kiss Me - 5 Seconds of Summer

Cinema - Harry Styles

Daydreaming - Harry Styles

Touch Tank - Quinnie

Category three; relationship photos

[deedala]

💘weekly tag wednesday💘

love edition - thanks @heymacy for this weeks game and for tagging me!! <3

name: deanna🌱

where the heck are ya? oHIo🌽

do you believe in love at first sight? in my fiction? yes. in reality? eeehhh...

do you believe in soulmates? like predestined one person for one person, not really. but i believe there are people out there you can make soulmate level connections with.

what’s a song you’ve been loving? im still on my guilty pleasure by chappell roan shit right now

how about a show you’ve been loving? ive been enjoying the show death and other details starring the loml rahul kohli

your ultimate OTP: i mean its gonna be ian and mickey huh

your comfort book: the masked empire by patrick weekes

a fan work you adore (fic, art, manip, etc — tag the creator!): i've been thinking about the incredible amount of detail and hard work and talent involved in these cookies made by @michellemisfit every single one of them is such ART. and so many different techniques used to create the right textures and the shiny decorative glass on the alibi?? i mean jesus michelle you were so insane for this. and two fics: a short one Flyboy and the Gearhead by @the-rat-wins which i read recently. im obsessed with the scifi world depicted in it and i loved the ian and mickey in it, they hurt me in the good way lol. And a long one you'll never see us again by @spoonfulstar which i read awhile ago but i still think about it on a regular basis, i maintain it permanently altered my brain chemistry. It's beautiful, its a work of art, it ripped my soul in two...but in the good way.

a trope that captures your heart: mutual pininnnggggg

favorite candy: is it andes chocolate mints?? yeah i think so.

dark chocolate or white chocolate? dark chocolate!

romance novels or thrillers? god i'd love it if theyre both at the same time but if i have to pick then romance.

pink or red? pink :>

and finally, spread some love! share words of encouragement, a positive message, or say something kind to yourself — it’s up to you! to me and everyone else: keep making the things that get stuck in your head and make your heart sing. you cant please everybody so first and foremost make sure you're enjoying what you're doing <3

and now i shall tag some precious nuggets to either play or not, but either way i am handing each of you a little valentine 💘💘💘@michellemisfit @darlingian @too-schoolforcool @mmmichyyy @heymrspatel @gallawitchxx @metalheadmickey @energievie @jrooc @mybrainismelted @mickeysgaymom @whatwouldmickeydo @the-rat-wins @creepkinginc @squirrel-fund @iansw0rld @rereadanon @sickness-health-all-that-shit @softmick @juliakayyy @crossmydna @themarchg1rl @lingy910y @thisdivorce @sleepyfacetoughguy @callivich @ardent-fox @vintagelacerosette @gardenerian @sam-loves-seb @lee-ow @transmickey @tanktopgallavich @palepinkgoat @suzy-queued

[tavina-writes]

hggggg thinking about Minglan again on my rewatch (now the eighth rewatch) and its dissection of families and society and just. while this is a very kind drama in a lot of ways, there's SO MUCH in here that makes me want to shovel glass.

Like where do I begin? Where do I begin about how this show over and over again chooses to center women. Not in the 'lets only talk about things that traditionally were assumed to be of interest to women' way but very much in a 'look at what is happening in this society through the lens of what a woman in this position would see and interpret things' way.

Like I think this show still has a chokehold on me even now, four years after I've first seen it is also because it illuminates so much about how people suffer in this society where class and gender determine everything about you. Like from the very bottom to the very top, the way that this society grinds people down to fit into these little boxes and what people do to try to get a little bit better circumstances, and yet, how despite this society's strictness in making everyone fit into these molds of what is 'ideal' how there is still SO MUCH love. There's still friendship and sisterhood and familial love and romantic love and just! people who try to be good to each other.

People who don't.

idk something about this show altered my brain chemistry and if anyone wants to come talk to me about minglan I have uhhh probably at least sixteen essays about any one episode or relationship you can think of PLEASE COME TALK TO ME ABOUT MINGLAN.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

If y'all don't stop tagging me in "list your favorite ________" challenges, I swear.....(kidding)

You know I'm indecisive and that the second I'm asked questions like this everything I have ever known or loved just falls right out of my head :'(

ANYWAY. I was tagged by @colourme-feral to name 9 favorite TV series. Nine? Not ten? Alright, whatever. Now presenting, in no particular order

wen-kexing-apologist's Top Nine Favorite TV Series

I think, much like last time where I listed my ten favorite characters AND THEN LEFT OUT PIKE MOTHERFUCKING DEXTER LIKE A GODDAMN NOOB I can't be certain I am forgetting one that I cherish greatly.

Avatar: The Last Airbender

I'm putting this first because A:TLA was a show I watched live in my youth and I remember running the hating Zuko to loving Zuko gauntlet in real time.

But seriously, you can't give me the single greatest redemption arc written in human history and not expect me to cradle this show close to my chest for the rest of my life.

There are so many shows we grow up with that we remember fondly and that in the grand scheme of things aren't that good, protected by young minds and nostalgia AND THIS ISN'T ONE OF THEM.

Seriously my poor mother has had to listen to hours worth of rambling about the incredibly strong adult themes, three dimensional characters, and conversations around war and the portrayal of no one society as inherently evil from both of her children.

This is my boy and I will love him until the end of time, I'm sorry that I hated you when we first met. In my defense the narrative compelled me to do so.

Sense8

Queer, sex positive, beautifully crafted, orgies as a symbol of human connection, the way the world is so small and that people from all over the world have skills that are valuable, that save lives, that are needed and necessary. Humanity and complexity given to people involved in the drug trade, humanity and complexity given to drug users, humanity and complexity given to gang members, humanity and complexity given to prisoners. Love, loss, tragedy, trauma, trans joy, throuple, couple and whatever the fuck Daniella is doing, one really good weed brownie curing transphobia.

The ending wasn't perfect but that isn't the Wachowski Sister's fault, it was Netflix's fault.

I Told Sunset About You/I Promised You The Moon

This show, especially I Told Sunset About You, may be the single most emotional a show has ever made me. I think I cried four times per episode for ITSAY, the only time I didn't cry four times was Episode 3, where foolishly I made it through 98% of the episode went "this edible ain't shit I don't know why everyone is so emo about Ep 3, it's been the most mild so far" AND THEN FUCKING BAM

Teh with the steel fucking chair!

When I tell you I spent hours, numb, staring up at the ceiling?? It's not an exaggeration.

When I tell you I thought about this scene for more than three and immediately burst into tears??? It's not an exaggeration.

This show altered my brain chemistry, this show altered my DNA, this show was so fucking good and ruined me so thoroughly that I wasn't even able to make my brain come up with things to analyze.

in this show, WHERE THERE IS SO MUCH THERE TO ANALYZE. I am making a friend watch it right now so I'm hoping I will have more to contemplate and talk about as I rewatch it now that the emotional impact has softened.

Moonlight Chicken

Look no further than my Gay Meta Masterpost pinned to my page to understand why I love this show so much. It is gorgeous, it handles the subject of disability well, it's the show that got me to start posting meta and as a result it is the show that got me all the friends I have on tumblr now.

This show is perfect, the acting is spectacular, the inherent queerness that runs through the narrative, THE LIGHTING. Aof knocked it out of the motherfucking park with this one.

The Eclipse

Folks let me tell you what happens when you go from Not Me to The Eclipse...

you fall desperately in love with First Kanaphan Puitrakul and his masterful acting ability. I love this show so much. P'Golf had things to say and she was not afraid to say it. The queer characters got to be complex and messy and wrong sometimes, none of the main characters were morally superior, they all contributed to maintaining the system, they all helped harm other queer people. This show was made with pocket change and a dream and it gave me two of my favorite kisses in BL, one of my favorite stories in BL, and my sweet summer child

my beloved Baby War Criminal who is my favorite character ever in BL. Look at him. He is under so much pressure. GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW. And I love Thua too.

Our Flag Means Death

Setting aside the problematic fans, I watched this show eleven times. It was one of the only shows I'd seen where every couple was queer, I love how gradually the writing team was able to move this show from comedy to something more serious, I love the way Stede returned home only to find that he had been forever changed, I love the way Blackbeard was on his way to grieving and healing with healthy coping mechanisms, and the commentary the show gave on how exposure to toxic masculinity and internalized/externalized homophobia (in the form of Izzy) can alter that course. I love that traditional roles and expectations are subverted in this show. That Pete and Lucius are in love, that Olu gets thrown around by Jim, that the show allows for an older queer person to both realize his sexuality and experience his first queer love.

And also

it introduced me to one of the first nonbinary characters I had seen on screen. Jim Jimenez you can murder me whenever you wish, it would be my absolute honor.

What We Do in The Shadows

For one, it's hilarious

For two, Jackie Daytona exists.

For three

It gave me Guillermo de la Cruz, the sexiest motherfucker alive.

The Owl House

Queer, neurodivergent representation????? In my TV show??????? A main plot point being around the all consuming nature of white supremacy and religious zeal. Hunter? Dear sweet, awkward, traumatized Hunter? RAINE MOTHERFUCKING WHISPERS?!

Listen, I'm a simple bitch, okay? You put an enby in my television and I will be forced to stan.

I mean look at them!

Word of Honor

*points to username*

If I didn't put WoH on here I would have to give up rights to my username.

This is the show that started me on the BL spiral and having read the novel, I have to say that I have never seen a show change a character and expand upon a story as well as Word of Honor has.

The sex appeal, the swagger, and the lowkey unsettling obsession The Scorpion King has in the TV show compared to the book?

Expert execution of fundamentally and fully changing source text. The costumes are gorgeous and the way I was driven to the brink of insanity by how gay this show was despite censorship is truly unmatched. I know censorship can dampen a queer story experience, but damned if i didn't go feral and say "I can't believe they got away with that" at every given opportunity.

And

It gave me my beloved Adult War Criminal, Wen Kexing, who as we all know, has never done anything wrong in his life, ever.

___

Bonus Round:

aka shows that I haven't or that haven't finished yet so I am contractually obligated not to put them on a list.

180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us

I have two episodes left, it is absolutely killer, and if it continues to be as strong as it is this will be a 10/10 show for me and join the ranks of my favorites. This show is driving me mad with both hands and barriers and I need everyone to know that.

La Pluie

There are three episodes left for this to go wrong which is the only reason why I haven't put it on the list. But similarly to 180 Degrees, if it continues the way it is going now this will be a 10/10 show for me and join the ranks of my favorites. I LOVE what they are doing to subvert the soulmate trope. It is a masterpiece so far and I need more people to be watching this.

Tagging:

@solitaryandwandering, @ranchthoughts, @wanderlust-in-my-soul, @so-much-yet-to-learn, and @neuroticbookworm

Your choice whether to participate or not and apologies if you have already been tagged.

[brainrotgoverner]

FINALLY have time to watch an other episode of the Scracthed Universe series so I'm just gonna write this post as I watch it cuz I'm OBSESSED with them:

The way Jumpsuit signaled Fixer to get behind him permanently altered my brain chemistry. THIS is the reason I'm watching this series so slowly, im writing them a fic wherever they like of or not XD

Okey, pausing my 2013 fangirl rant to talk about how GREAT the infected are

The mutilated faces are a basic yet extremely effective way to show the virus. It corrupts their faces, like corrupted files. Because that's exactly what they are, they are in a video game and they are made out of digital blood and 01100100 01101001 01100111 01101001 01110100 01100001 01101100 guts. The faces are unnatural and unique to the character (and even according to game mechanics as the Spy's can hide it), it makes you feel uncomfortable in a way only uncanny valley could and I love that XD

ALSO this moment I'm losing my MIND here with this series-

Another reason I like their dynamic so much is even though Jumpsuit is more comfortable in this environment, Fixer is in no way helpless. Shown in the way how he efficiently held up his own before Jumpsuit showed up to save him from the infected Spy (WHICH only got the upper hand because he was about to backstab him) in the last episode, the way even though he panics frequently and Jumpsuit calming him down definitely helps, he throws in ideas on what to do, fixes sentries and jumps right back up to headshot that Demoman after getting blown up. I like how they both have strong suits in different departments and complete their dynamic. I'm fairly positive they are going to make it out <3 please don't tell me I just jinxed them

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?????? THIS IS ACTUALLY DISTURBING LIKE I'M NOT KIDDING- the other infected were spooky, yes, but this is downright bone-chilling this is WRONG THAT THING SHOULD BE PUT DOWN the only reason I added scared Fixer there is because I genuinely can't handle looking at that thing in full size BUT I might be biased since I was always uncomfortable with hyperrealism in animated horror lol

WHY WON'T IT DIE?????? I mean, I'm happy about the full-white eyes since it's less creepy but NOPE THE EYES ARE BACK JUMPSUIT DO SOMETHING YOUR BOYFRIEND IS SHAKING

To be honest I'm not really sure if the BONKBOT can access the map interface and or if he knows how many people are on the map thanks to his visors or something BUT he is a brilliant character XD he is a perfect way to lower the stakes and sprinkle in some comedy without it feeling out of place

ANOTHER BADASS SCOUT (with AMAZING vocals I mind you) AND HE IS DROPPING SOME DELICIOUS LORE

...what's going on with Fixer?

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck Week 2024

Day 6 - Favorite Quote: "Let's enjoy life"

Is it cheating to use a quote from the author rather than from the series itself? It better not be, cus for all of the quotes from this series that rattle around in my brain, either because they're extremely poignant ("What kind of man wants to see the woman he loves suffer?") or stupidly funny ("You not telling me was a test, wasn't it?" "Yes." "You're lying, aren't you?" "Yes."), this summation of the series posited by Tozuka's editor is the one that actually changed me

That may seem hyperbolic for a three-word quote, but ever since I saw that quote, it really has altered something in my brain chemistry. Like a Negator reinterpreting the meaning of their Rules, my whole worldview changed, at least subtly, when I heard that quote

Naturally it changed my approach to reading UU, as every scene, every moment, every quote, every panel suddenly became about reinforcing the idea that life is something to be enjoyed with other people. It's incredibly clear that this philosophy is the driving force for every single decision in the narrative, with every action that the main cast takes (and possibly even the villainous cast with recent revelations) being directly influenced by the goal of happiness, the search for the Greatest Life

Beyond that, though, I've found that it's influenced my daily life as well. In much the same way that Dungeon Meshi fans have an inner Senshi that reminds them to feed themselves, I now have an inner Tozuka that reminds me to find the joy in whatever I'm doing. Whether it's to remember the purpose of why I'm doing something in the first place or to convince me that the effort isn't worth it and I should stop, the maxim to enjoy myself gives me the clarity and perspective to focus on what matters

It's not always easy. Sometimes life just hits you a little too hard and you can't remember the words of wisdom that would help you through the rough patch. But remembering that the whole point of life is to enjoy it, to be around people you can enjoy it with, eases the burden a bit. It redirects your energy towards trying to be happy rather than trying not to be sad

Fiction is a source of comfort for people. Whether it's seeing people going through the same problems they are and overcoming them, seeing people who look like them thriving when they themselves otherwise can't, or even just hearing a quote that resonates with them, the escape into fantasy should, ideally, give you something to latch onto and bring back with you into the real world. It can be something simple, like a superhero story equipping you with the courage to stand up for yourself, or a romance showing you how to be open with your emotions, but the best stories always leave you better than they found you

I've always believed that the purpose of life is to enjoy it, but I don't think I ever quite put it in those terms or thought about it that concretely. It was more just a general feeling, an implicit understanding that a life without happiness can hardly be called living, but once I read Undead Unluck, it became much more than that. It became an active choice. I've decided to live my life in a way I can enjoy, even if all that means is appreciating the moments where I'm just relaxing instead of "living life to the fullest." I don't have to see everything the world has to offer, I don't have to push myself to achieve every dream I've ever had, but I can't beat myself up for not doing those things either. You can't enjoy life if you're too worried about not enjoying life enough, now can you?

To truly get the most out of life, we have to be willing to live it, and on some level that means accepting who we are as individuals and meeting ourselves in the middle. It's fine to push yourself, but if you push yourself to the point of misery, then there's no point to it. Some of you even suggested that very thing to me when I felt like my UU anime reviews were getting too repetitive to be fun. You all, as my community, actively tried to help me break my own pattern of unenjoyment. I don't know if I ever said it, but thank you for being there for me. Thank you for helping me to remember to enjoy myself. I hope that this post will help do the same for you

I'll see you all again tomorrow for the final day of UU Week 2024. After that, and until next year's celebration:

Let's enjoy life

[my-fancy-hat]

After cooling down a bit (took an entire day to stop crying here and there) I can confidenly say Mob Pyscho 100 is a MUST watch show in your lifespan. No matter where you at right now or how old you are, I believe this story has this life-changing power that will always have something great and heart-warming to offer and bring a new perspective of things for everyone. Not only because it’s one of the most fulfilled adaptations from an original work where the dedication, love and passion of the studio radiates throught the screen to the viewers or how unique the animation is along side an amazing soundtrack and openings; what makes mob psycho this special and meaningful to so many people is the mature approaching and management of its backbone themes: change, empathy, humility, acceptance and connections. A well-puted, charming, sensible and personal coming of age story about a little kid who in fear of his nature and rejection shut himself from his marvels and rights to feel freely, meets a broken and loner adult starving for meaning to his existence, both complementing each other so well in a lasting but hopeful journey of personal grown to become just a good person. As the character progress or regress steps during seasons this finale left in such a positive and recomforting note, manteining all the references and cohesion to all of its characters’ personal themes, remaining true to themselves to the very end: you’re the only one, you’re imperfect but complete on your own, and to live to the fullest and to be a person of well you have to know and accept yourself. Mob and Reigen finally coming to terms with their falsehood exposing their helpless and genuinest selfs to each other, and both giving to the other acceptance of what they saw, them as whole. Reigen lies let Mob enter his life and Mob’s powers made him who he is; without this facades and worst they wouldn’t have meet and fundamentally changed their lifes, so there’s always something good to take of everything and keep on. Thanks to the positive impact they made into the world and all the amazing people they let in in their lifes they’re able to change, because it is the love of their surroundings they’re learning to love themselves.

Mob Psycho left me with a similar taste in my mouth like Everything Everywhere All at Once did. I met the show in a very delicate moment of my life where all paths were uncertain but promising. It’s fondness and softness dropped in my year just in the moment I needed them the most ("I decided to consider my feelings more, and you have to pick up the things that are important" altered my brain chemistry forever may say), as a gentle hand rubbing my back every week, it sure had a positive influence in my own healing process and rehabilitation. I’m grateful to have experienced this work of art in this timeline and it will stick up with me as one of those special and precious stories you hold close to the heart, truly. No words exaggerating in here, I consider Mob Psycho 100 peak fiction and one of my favorites of all time, and Reigen is my babygirl.

[ultfreakme]

Hello...You are the first person that I know of that ship Zukka but also love Katara. Thanks so much. A big reason, I'm not into ATLA fandom is because those who love Zukka mostly hate Katara and those who love Katara, mostly ship Zutara (I just dislike this ship, sorry). And then I found your blog....

Katara is my fav character from ATLA, and personally I don't ship her with anyone.

A bit crossover, but do you see similarity between Katara and Utahime (JJK)?

WHAT!?!?!? oh my god I'm so sorry you had that kind of interactions, I've somehow managed to avoid Katara-hating Zukka shippers. Katara is my first favorite character, like ever, in the history of my life (Pakku v Katara altered my brain chemistry. "You can't knock me down!" CHILLS. FREAKING, CHILLS!!!).

I also don't particularly enjoy shipping in the canon of the story, if that makes sense? I like my fanon nonsense lol. I don't particularly ship Katara either, like I think Kataang is cute, but that's about all the opinions I have on it. Though I do love their dynamic and the way they support each other.

Katara & Utahime....hmmm...I kinda don't? Primarily because we don't get much of Utahime at all. I think they have similar temperaments, and I think they'd get along but on a deeper level, I'm not sure. Katara chose her life as a waterbending master and fighter, Utahime is implied to be a sorcerer because of her family, she also seems very...tired, like many sorcerers are (because of all the death and the general misery of their job). Katara on the other hand, thrives in these challenging environments. Utahime seems very rule-abiding since she is a part of the sorcerer society and is a teacher, we never really see her express any defiance until maaaaaybe her supporting Gojo in the fight against Sukuna.

Katara though, she's a rebel, she doesn't give a shit about rules and would readily start a fight if she sees injustice. Or she'd walk away if she disagrees with something. She'd probably have pulled a Maki--

I just had that thought sorry my brain screeched to a halt.

Actually I think Katara resembles Maki more in terms of motivation. Prodigies, disapproved of by her society, comes back a billion times stronger and shows everyone what is up and who's the boss. Utahime seems pretty okay with her position as she is? I wish we got more of her, I might be able to make a better comparison then. What are your thoughts? Although, they are both teachers so maybe the way the have a motive to educate a new generation is where their similarities lie.

Thanks anon!!!

[iy0v]

Feel it first, manifest it later

A general sociological and psychological observation of global society shows that people usually pursue a goal or object in their lives so that they ultimately harvest the feelings and the emotions that such goal, object or experience can provide.

For example, people may seek more wealth to feel wealthy; a romantic partner to feel loved and accepted; a position in society to feel respected; some recognizable achievements to feel remembered, and so forth.

In a nutshell, people seek external experiences so that they can invoke states of feeling that inherently come from within, that is from the internal.

So what’s the catch here? It’s simple. From my previous experiences trying to understand the workings of consciousness, feeling, and all these wondrous realms of abstractions; I came to realize that our Creator has honored us so much that we were blessed with the gift of consciousness as we have it to this day. Consciousness, although its source of origins is debatable (in terms of whether the mind is a frequency-catching radio or a cassette player), we know for sure with scientific evidence that altering brain activity subsequently alters the degree of our consciousness. Altering neurotransmitters naturally alters how braincells, as in neurons, communicate with one another. A different set of combinations can lead to drastically different set of lived experiences. More serotonin leads to a more delightful, and soulfully fulfilling states of mind. Dopamine for instance, provides feelings of reward through pleasure, yet is quickly habit forming due to its nature. More oxytocin in the other hand helps with social bonding on what can be described as an agape type of human interpersonal level of relationships, and so forth.

So where does this all lead us? It is no secret that different life experiences involve different brain chemistries, leading to different states of consciousness. The most relevant one to this dissertation is often experienced by what can be characterized as genuinely spiritual individuals. From EEG to MRI scans, the archetype of the mystic demonstrates the highest degree of mastery upon their state of consciousness. Through the implementation of various techniques, usually meditation (silence of thoughts and stimuli), prayer (invoking sacred words, intentions, and ritualistic movement), as well as exercise; the subject can be easily observed entering into very peculiar states of cognition, ones that often involve different parts of the brain, almost an extensive engagement of the different brain cortexes.

Most importantly, the mystic archetype is able to enter different states of consciousness and hence of feeling by meditating deep and long on a specific aim or goal. The mystic can travel to the realities of joy, of love, of abundance, and of fulfillment. The mystic starts vibrating of those feelings, effectively embodying their significant value. This is the complete juxtaposition of how the predominant majority of people approach life, that is by trying to seek an external justification of a feeling that can only emerge from within. The mystic wins here if the goal was to reach for this feeling. If we’re being sincere, us humans are creatures of emotions, we pursue things that make us feel. Without feeling, we would have gone extinct aions ago. We are sustained on feeling, whether it is the given or received love of a significant other, or whether it’s the feeling of purpose and fulfillment. A cold depressed heart can only survive for so long.

Now, I am not advocating whatsoever to go full-hermit mode and leave societal pursuits behind. For even the device I’m using to share my thoughts in this platform is thanks to collective societal efforts. We owe much of our technology first of all to our Creator who inspired in us creation the desire and will to further recreate, subsequently to our societies.

Thus, my message remains the following:

The winners of this specific game/simulation are those that embody the feelings within first, before they seek to manifest it. This way, the seeker lives life in a flow state, maximizing the efficiency of the energy you allocate, either it’s mental, physical or spiritual.

To find love, you must first feel loved, know what love is. For what better love is there other than the love of the Divine.

To become wealthy, you must feel abundant, satiated, from the One above. For those who operate based on survival mode may not make the best decisions of their lives. Sharpness of thought is achieved when the mind is calm, and its needs are fulfilled.

Most importantly, to win at any game in life, you have to play it nonchalant. Ask the boxers, the martial arts warriors, and they’ll tell you that you can’t win a fight while charged with emotions such as anger and rage. You must be in a state of flow lest your mind be fully perceiving. A sword-fight is a dance of swords after all.

Only after you preceded the manifestation with righteous intention and genuine feeling, that you can manifest what’s within on the outer world. To exercise your vision upon the world. May that be a vision of truth, justice, and prosperity.

— Iyov

[softsky-daily]

1/8/2024

The sky was straight up monochrome today.

Positive thing: I got caught up with an old friend, and my partner got me Jollibee.

Tomorrow I have my first class of the semester and I'm not super looking forward to it, but hopefully the professor will be nice and let us leave early. Once this week is over I'll be able to delegate what days I can work on homework and quizzes and stuff too, so I'm just going to enjoy the more relaxed pace as much as I can.

The real struggle will be getting to sleep on time. I'm a big night owl and like doing things late at night (plus the insomnia kicks in to make things harder) so adjusting back to waking up early will suck. But luckily I only have to get up early 3 days of the week. 1 day down, 2 more to go.

I reblogged this one post earlier about feeling weird when someone is insane about something and you thought it was okay. I think I'm in that situation a lot, which is a bit unfortunate because I do genuinely like hearing about my friend's interests and stuff. It's also mixed with a tinge of jealousy for me sometimes. It must be nice to be so passionate about something, or even multiple somethings. On the surface I think I can come off as pretty deep into the things I post about but besides 逃げ恥 I think compared to other Tumblr-goers my passion for things is very light like a candle flame.

I don't really think it's a bad thing. It's actually very cool to know that one person's "this was okay" is another person's "this altered my brain chemistry forever." It just goes to show you how far the gamut of human reactions to the same thing can go. And even on the other side of things, I know most people I've gushed about 逃げ恥 to don't have the brainworms it gave me but honestly that's alright. I don't need the validation to know it makes me happy and that's what matters.

I do wonder what it must be like to be so invested in things like that, to fall into interests so completely and be consumed by them. I guess that's why talking to friends who do have that kind of space in their heart is really nice. The other day my friend explained why they really like the lore of the Fate series, which I never had a strong opinion of before, but their clear love and vision of what made Fate interesting to them was so charming I can see Fate in a different light now - not by its actual characteristics really, but because it reminds me of my friend and how they talked about it.

Tomorrow's a long day. I get a break in the middle so maybe I'll take a nap then.

[withahappyrefrain]

for positivity night i have a few wonderful friends to shout out!

of course i need to mention @bradshawsbitch ; for being the sweetest, most caring soul. my favorite person to brainstorm with. the one who gets where i’m coming from <3

@delopsia ; for their breathtaking writing that has altered my brain chemistry. one of the few people i trust with writing my favorite cowboy

@damrlova ; for always being ready to talk about anything and everything and to elaborate on concepts. such a sweet friend that i deeply cherish

@peachystenbrough ; for always showing me nothing but love and kindness. for listening when i need to talk. for letting me run story ideas by you and entertain concepts about our favorite boys

Leah, all these people are amazing and deserve nothing but love! And the same can be said for you!!! ♥️♥️♥️

[akab0mb]

Every day I feel more and more estranged from people. I have so many emotions, so many things I want to say, and no way to say them to the people I wish to speak to. I am feeling less able to find the energy to talk to people at all or even care. I think I am too far gone at this point. This year has traumatized me more than any other year. I will never forget the emotional shock and dissociation I went through in early November. My brain was fundamentally changed then. And that is in part because I was already deeply, deeply struggling from at least two devastating, life-altering moments that also occurred this year.

Some people on this earth are only meant to live for a few years. Their biology and brain chemistry predisposes them to a short life. Add continued trauma to that and it's a messy and desperate means to an end.

My only wish is that society begins to truly appreciate how people suffering from serious mental health issues deserve the same level of care and patience and empathy that is directed to people who suffer from severe physical health issues. Not just drugs. Not just therapy. But humans holding other humans up, being there, understanding, empathizing, and loving. Even though it's hard.

When I go, I hope someone remembers me. I hope someone remembers the person I really was. Not the thing I've been reduced to this year. "Hateful". "Manipulative". "Dangerous". Each word has placed a dagger in me that I can't remove. I never had the sense of self to advocate for myself. And I never had the communication skills. So I was left unable to question or fight. And this has been my reality my whole life. I could never fight my abusive mother's words, so I shut down. But I have always known I am good. I know this fundamentally. I know I am. I show it every day. These words are simply wrong. They do not represent my actions. They do not represent my words. They are simply unfair and incorrect. They are not me, and if I had a friend who knew me they would do better than I can at making this clear. I am good. But it doesn't matter what I am or what I say I am. What matters is what others think of me.

Why do I write these? They are not directed at anyone. No one is obligated to look or respond. I rarely have the energy to try to articulate my feelings and thoughts, so I do a little when I can muster. And I can muster the strength right now.

I have been invisible my whole life. I was forced to make myself small and quiet and barely exist as a child. I was ignored and not included in so many things in high school. I was never special. I tried so hard to do my best so that one day I would belong. And all it did was exhaust me and fill me with resentment. Why do others get to be seen and heard? Why not me? What criteria am I not meeting? Is it because I am not good at communicating?

3 people left me this year because of my depression. I don't think they know how abandonment is my greatest trigger. So on top of the immense agony I'm still going through from these ended friendships, it is now very hard for me to trust anyone. I don't want to be alone, but I can't trust anyone enough to open up. Because I cannot handle any more pain. So that is where I am. I am amazed at myself for finding the energy to write any of this. I can hardly get out of bed most days. I cannot maintain my job. I can't describe how energetically draining it is to type a reply to someone. I keep going mute - not just my voice but my ability to text anyone. I dissociate to remain alive. I go numb. I don't move. I hardly breathe. I think it's emotional shock and catatonia.

The only thing that is keeping me here is fighting for Palestine. Going to protests. Rallies. Sit-ins. I want to finally feel useful. I want my existence in this horrible life to make some kind of positive difference in the world. That was my goal in life anyway - I wanted to save the planet from environmental disaster. That was an insane and unattainable goal. This one is more manageable.