#this site is no longer a joy to open up and no longer feels accessible mentally for me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pain-somnia · 4 years

Text

tread over the contours of you and me

fandom: naruto pairing: sasusaku rating: M (here is your nsfr warning as it contains smut. the first part of this is safe but letting you all know now so that you may remain halal; i’m posting this during a time for me it would be but i know some people are not able to) Day’s notes: hello! this fic was written for a giveaway winner that is also a patron of mine. the giveaway was for non patrons to be able to win a chance to receive some exclusive PDFs or a patron to select a prompt. it’s been a really long time since i received the prompt but i wasn’t in the right health and only recently was able to give it proper attention. the winner has encouraged me to share this with everyone so here it is a couple of weeks after patrons received their early access to it. It falls into my blank period au series of fics. you can find some of them in this link. it contains one of the oneshots and also links to other one shots. another one-shot that fits with this one is my fic It Started With Rain which actually happened to be commissioned like a year ago by the winner and can be found in all of my fic sites. I hope you enjoy 😊

tread over the contours of you and me

Sakura sighed and rolled her neck. She cupped her shoulders at the base of her nape and pulsed a bit of healing chakra.

She was spending too many evenings at her desk looking over the data for the children in the institute. The caregivers were very thorough with their reports and while that relieved her it was also more work for her to get through every day.

It was only a year and a half since she had opened up the institute and while she was no longer in the experimental stage of the program, everything could still be hectic. The hardest part had been finding the caregivers and doctors for the children—people that understood that they weren’t treating soldiers.

The research and paperwork that she had poured over had been atrociously lacking, not only for children but adults as well. It was disgustingly obvious that the only insight to mental health that Konoha had was in the use of torture and interrogation. With Ino’s help, the two of them picked apart all of the data until they could find anything useful.

Luck was on Sakura’s side that the Yamanaka clan already had an understanding of how the mind operated. Due to the nature of their family jutsu and the young age of which their shinobi clansmen trained, there was a foundation she had to work with.

Speaking of the Yamanaka family jutsu, Ino was insistently sending her messages to go home. Her voice wheedled in Sakura’s mind and nagged at her.

A hot bath, warm food, and her bed sounded lovely. She knew that all she needed was to head home and her mom would have all three ready for her.

Locking the stacks of unfinished documents into a cabinet, Sakura began her nightly clean up routine. For the past year she used to stay holed up in her office until everything was completed but due to the person sleeping on her office’s couch at the moment, Sakura had stopped working overnight.

Stifling a giggle, Sakura crouched down on her toes and brushed Sasuke’s hair out of his face. He had grown out his forelocks into bangs that fell over his rinnegan and while the look suited him, sometimes she missed seeing his face in full.

Sasuke had taken to sleeping in her office, complaining that there was always some sort of disturbance at his apartment. She had teased him about it, stating that he just missed her. He hadn’t replied to her verbally, but chose to show her how much he missed her once they got back to his apartment.

Blinking his eyes, Sasuke woke up the second time Sakura ran her fingers through his hair. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards and he sat up, pulling his legs back from over the arm of the loveseat.

“Are you going to walk me home, Sasuke-kun?” Sakura asked, continuing to run her fingers along his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp.

Sitting up, Sasuke stretched his arm over his head. “You’re not coming over?”

Heat traveled up the back of her neck and she cleared her throat in discomfort. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. It’s late and I’m still in trouble with Mama from last time I accidentally slept over. You know how she is about premarital relations━don’t you laugh at me!”

Sasuke turned his head away from her but his shoulders slightly shook, giving himself away. He had walked her home and sat with her as her mother lectured her and Sakura insisted that she had fallen asleep while working on paperwork. Haruno Mebuki hadn’t bought the story.

“Come here,” Sasuke asked softly, patting the space between his legs. Sakura shrugged off her lab coat and let it fall to the floor before settling on the couch between his legs. She laid back so her back was against his chest and her legs laid across the cushions. Sasuke’s leg closest to the edge slipped off the couch to accommodate her.

“Kakashi sent a scroll for you,” Sakura told him as he settled his chin on her shoulder and wrapped his arm around her waist. “He figured out your hiding spot.”

“Not really a hiding spot. Where else would I be?”

“Right…” Her voice trailed softly as her cheeks bloomed with heat.

Sasuke had been back home for months and Sakura still wasn’t used to him speaking to her or of her in such a way. It was one thing for her to just know that he enjoyed her presence and took comfort in it by his actions, it was another when he voiced it out loud and confirmed it.

The words were never direct but her heart translated them into a different phrase.

Taking her right wrist, Sasuke rolled it in a circular fashion, stretching the joint and pressing his thumb along the inside, massaging the flesh there.

“You wrote a lot today.” His voice was low against her ear, his breath warm and causing her to shiver. Sakura hummed and nodded, not trusting her words, as he continued to trail his fingers up her arm.

Sasuke stroked at her skin until he reached the back of her nape and he cupped Sakura’s neck and massaged it with his strong fingers. He rolled the base of her neck in his hand and Sakura felt the warm sensation of chakra pulsing from his hand and soothing out the knots as he continued to add pressure with his thumb and fingers down her shoulders.

“You’re getting better at that,” Sakura moaned in relief. “You’ve been studying.”

“Just a bit.”

Sakura didn’t need to see his face to know there was a smirk on it; she could hear the smug undertones in his voice. It filled her with joy when pieces of the young Sasuke revealed themselves in this older version of him.

“Turn around.” The order was whispered but it beat loudly in Sakura’s chest right next to her heart.

Sex still felt new, despite the two of them getting into it whenever the opportunity presented itself. Sasuke’s voice, husky and desperate in her ear, caused her as much nerves as it thrilled her. They were still learning what made the other tick, what touches were more desired.

She decided that she liked the way she felt in Sasuke’s hand. His skin was deliciously warm and the friction from calluses and scars from the nicks from holding shuriken created a pleasant sensation when his hands roved over her soft skin.

He pushed into the flesh of her back, soothing her muscles with his thumb and kneading with his fingers.

“That would be easier if my shirt was off.” Sakura licked her lips and hoped Sasuke took the hint. “And much easier if I was lying on my stomach.”

“Since when have I ever done things the easy way?”

Sakura whimpered when he removed his hand from under her sleeveless top, missing the heat that radiated from his palm. Sasuke took hold of her chin with his thumb and index finger and tilted her face up so he could press an open mouthed kiss to her lips. When he tried to pull away Sakura pressed forward, straddling his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck.

Her skirt bunched up around her hips and Sasuke’s hand went to her left thigh and caressed the flesh there. Sakura hummed in delight as the soreness from standing all day for observations drifted away with his soothing touch.

She yelped when his hand slid between her legs and he began to massage a new ache. Her hands tightened their grip on his hair and she rocked her hips against his hand.

They had never done something like this anywhere outside of his apartment. Their intimate moments were limited to the walls of Sasuke’s new home and that had been just fine with them until an annoyance kept ringing at the door.

Naruto had been late in discovering their relationship. He had whined because he felt that they had owed it to him to let him know when they had finally gotten together because he was their best friend. He had not been happy to find out that Sai and Ino had known before him.

“I told you first about Hinata!” He had whined to Sakura and Sakura didn’t have the heart to tell him that it didn’t count because if he hadn’t shared his feelings with her then he probably wouldn’t have gotten a chance to be married.

It wasn’t the same for her and Sasuke. Naruto’s interference was likely to impede any progress in their relationship. He would have kept trying to get involved and would have interfered with their alone time.

“What are you doing?” Sasuke asked as she dipped her hands inside his waistband. He quirked an eyebrow up in amusement as she began to stroke him.

“Doing some massaging of my own.”

Sasuke groaned in distaste, sliding down the couch so that he was lying on his back. “That was really bad.”

“And yet you’re still hard,” Sakura snapped, tugging down his pants to free his member.

“Your cheesiness has no effect on what your hands are doing.” Sasuke’s lips curled upward as Sakura increased the tightness of her hold and the speed of her strokes. “You’re getting better at that. Have you been studying?”

“Shut up!” Sakura burst into a peal of laughter at his teasing. “Are we really doing this in my office?”

“Say the word, I’ll do just about anything to you on this couch.” Sasuke gritted his teeth, stopping a moan from escaping. “Especially if you keep that up.”

“Give you a handjob and you lose all sense of shame, huh?” Sasuke narrowed his eyes at her as he reached between her legs again and then pinched her clit. Sakura jumped a little, squeaking from the shock.

“I’m not the one getting wet from giving a handjob.”

“Oh, that has nothing to do with this.” Sakura dropped her hold on him and tugged her top over her head and off. Reaching behind her, she unhooked her bra. “You’re the one that was using a medical technique to try and seduce me.”

Sasuke shrugged but the smirk remained on his face as Sakura shimmied out of her panties. Without bothering to take off her skirt she straddled his hips again, settling his cock between her folds. She rolled her hips, sliding over him in just the right way that it hit her clit as she grinded against him.

Usually Sasuke was enough stimulation for her, but there was something about pressing him into the couch of her office that had her blood pumping faster. Perhaps it was the thought that he couldn’t wait to touch her and to be touched in return that he didn’t care that they were on a cramped sofa.

Leaning closer so that her chest was flush against his, Sakura licked up the line of Sasuke’s throat before sucking his lower lip into her mouth. She felt him shiver under her hands as her tongue stroked the space behind his teeth.

“I love you, Sasuke-kun,” Sakura murmured, smiling softly as Sasuke’s cheeks were dusted pink in his flustered state.

Sakura felt a pull around her navel and then found herself flat on her back, Sasuke looming over her. He had switched their places without warning.

“Sasuke-kun!” She scolded him for his use of his Rinnegan during foreplay, but he ignored her in favor of pressing kisses to her sternum and laving at her small, pert breasts as he slid off her skirt. Rolling her eyes, Sakura pulled at the hem of his shirt and tugged it off of his body.

Sasuke took her hand in his and pressed it flat over the breast he wasn’t attending to with his affections. He molded his hand over hers to stimulate her hand into moving, silently asking her to massage her own breast. Once Sakura got the hint, Sasuke dipped his hand between their bodies and slipped his fingers between her thighs once again.

That’s how it was with him. He barely spoke aloud the words that would express his feelings, but he spoke it with his actions and hid it in other statements.

Younger Sakura would have demanded a clear proclamation of his love, for him to declare it in a way the world would know of it. Nineteen year old Sakura though, had twenty year old Sasuke desperate and determined to have her climbing the highest peaks of pleasure he could give her, displaying a vulnerability she was the only person privy to.

“No.” Sakura shook her head, her voice trembling, and pulled Sasuke’s face away from the hip he was sucking on. “Not today. I want you closer. Now.”

Close. No matter how flush against each other they were, it never felt close enough. Unlike Sasuke, Sakura didn’t have Sharingan in order to always carry perfect memories of him with her.

She needed him to burn the memory of him on her skin with his hot fingers. Needed to feel him hot and slick against her, speaking a language only known to two of them. Needed to tattoo his love for her with every scorching touch of his.

As amazing as it was to watch him from above, all flustered and bothered and eyes pleading for her to relieve him of his want, Sakura prefered him like this. Sasuke would angle their hips, lifting her bottom to meet his thrusts and then loom over her, caging her head in between his forearm and the remainder of his left arm. Pushing her down, his body was a comforting and welcome weight.

Her fingers splayed against his shoulder blades, Sakura felt him move above her, thrusting and muscles flexing. Her finger pads felt the coarse lines of scars littered on his skin. She traced them as Sasuke pounded her into her office’s couch and she cried out incoherent words of gratitude that none of the old wounds kept them from having their current moment.

Sasuke exhaled a laugh against the crook of her neck as she came down from her high. “Did you just thank me for your orgasm?”

“No!” Sakura’s face grew even hotter and she slapped Sasuke against his chest. He just continued to laugh silently as his hips moved against hers.

“Just a bit more and I’ll be thanking you too,” he teased her, gripping her hip tightly as he grinded deep within her.

Sakura covered her face with her hands, trying to hide from the embarrassment. The action had Sasuke stilling his hips and moving her hands away from her face. He interlocked his fingers with her left hand and pressed his forehead to hers.

“Don’t hide from me,” he muttered, red eyes boring into hers. His tomo swirled as a particularly rough thrust in the new angle had Sakura tensing and crying out for more. Sakura wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close for a kiss, swallowing his moan as he spilled inside of her.

Sasuke collapsed against her and Sakura’s left leg dropped so that it was dangling off of the couch. Sakura’s fingers sank into his thick hair and she massaged his scalp, her nails drawing curlicues.

“How did I end up being the only one that actually got fully naked again?” Sakura grumbled as Sasuke tucked himself back into his pants, barely moving his body away from her. “How do you keep doing that?”

Sasuke simply shrugged and nuzzled closer to her, crushing her chest to his. They lay like that, listening to the way the clock on the office wall clicked the seconds in tandem with their heartbeats. Sakura knew she had already pushed past the acceptable time to return home without her mother assuming she and Sasuke were playing house.

“I want to wake up with you again.” Sasuke’s voice was low but his breath fanned against Sakura’s neck and shoulder.

“Yeah?” Sakura breathed out the question, feeling the way Sasuke nodded his head against her shoulder. “I love you too, Sasuke-kun.”

He didn’t protest the way she had stated her love as if it was a response to his own. Sakura’s chest grew warm at the way Sasuke wrapped his arm around her and held her closer.

Someday, Sakura thought as she pressed a kiss to Sasuke’s temple. Someday I’ll have all the mornings with you.

#sasusaku #ss fanfiction #day!fics

198 notes · View notes

biconderoga · 4 years

Note

If it's not too much, could I possibly ask for a Hunter X Hunter with Kurapika falling for a girl who has scarlet eyes but only cause one of her parents were originally from the Kurta clan? I am so sorry if this is too detailed, I seriously did not mean too! Love, love, your writing by the way!

Author’s Note: I got so excited when I saw this!! Kurapika is my absolute favorite in Hunter x Hunter! I really hope you enjoy this! This imagine is probably my longest to date, and I spent so much time on it! :))

Words: 1,284

Kurapika Kurta x Kurta! S/O

When Kurapika first received news of his clan’s slaughter, a strong surge of emotions filled him. He was struck with grief, and held an insurmountable rage towards the Phantom Troupe. But once these emotions subsided, a feeling of emptiness settled in. Kurapika could not get away from this feeling of emptiness. He hated the feeling. However, he feigned acceptance, and somewhere along the line he had come to believe that it was okay.

So, when he went off to become a hunter, he wasn’t expecting the feeling to wash away. He did make some friends, and although they provided some relief, it was never enough. Nothing would ever be enough. Not until he buried each and every spider with his own hands and laid each of his clan’s eyes to rest.

He felt secure in his plan, however life had decided to throw a curveball in his direction.

The curveball came in the form of a woman. Kurapika had met this woman, whom was known as S/O, during the Yorknew auction. He originally hadn’t thought much of her. To him, she was most likely another mobster who wanted to flex their money at the community.

At first Kurapika thought he was correct. When the Scarlett Eyes has been announced, she had nearly jumped out of her seat to place a bid. Following his boss’ orders, Kurapika counter bid for the eyes. This led to a rather aggressive bidding war between the duo.

In the end Kurapika had won, though it had almost cost his boss three billion jenny. However, the win brought no joy to Kurapika. If anything, it made him feel even worse. In his hands were the eyes of one of his beloved clansmen. Soon they would be reduced to nothing but a trinket for his boss to display.

However, after they had announced Kurapika’s winning bid, he had noticed something peculiar about S/O. She was obviously disappointed in her loss, but her eyes had flickered the same scarlet as his. The change was quick, and could have easily been a reflection in her eyes. The rational part in Kurapika told him to let it go, but for some reason, Kurapika decided to pursue the matter further. S/O had a certain air about her, a peculiar air that piqued Kurapika’s interest.

It may have been this certain allure that caused Kurapika to act rashly.

Usually if Kurapika wanted information he’d go about it cautiously. He’d first access the hunter’s site, and purchase any available information on there. Then he’d follow any leads from what information he had. If he came up empty, he’d pursue the target with some backup. This case scenario, however, made Kurapika’s common sense fly out the window. Without better judgement, Kurapika followed S/O until she was in a desolate area of Yorknew.

“Why are you following me…?” S/O spoke as she entered an alleyway. Kurapika’s eyes widened a fraction, he wasn’t expecting S/O to catch him in his state of zestu. He clicked his tongue. He hadn’t considered the possibility that S/O could utilize nen. Nevertheless, Kurapika didn’t back off.

“Why did you want the Scarlett Eyes? Just, who are you?”

S/O quirked a brow, “Why do you care? You won the eyes, no use asking me about it.”

Kurapika growled. He was losing his temper, and fast. Perhaps it was due to the fact that he was holding a pair of Scarlett eyes, or because of the woman in front of him. Either way, his usually calm and collected demeanor was dwindling.

Kurapika lifted his hand and pointed his chains to S/O. This prompted S/O to curse under her breath and activate her gyo. Sadly for S/O, she was too late. Kurapika’s judgement chain had pierced through her chest.

“What did you do to me?”

“I’ve activated my nen ability. Now, unless you want to end up dead, answer my questions truthfully.” Kurapika paused for a moment, “Once again, I’ll ask, who are you and why do you want the Scarlett Eyes?”

S/O hesitated. Before she opened her mouth, she quickly assessed Kurapika. His eyes were hardened, and at that moment she knew. She knew there was no way out of his ability.

“My name is S/O,” She paused, as she was obviously hesitant to speak her next words, “S/O Kurta. As the last remaining Kurta I have dedicated my time and money to putting my clan’s eyes to rest.”

Silence ensnared the duo. S/O was unsure whether or not to continue, as Kurapika’s eyes had considerably darkened. Kurapika, on the other hand, felt as if he had been winded. He couldn’t form a coherent sentence.

A shout erupted from Kurapika, “Lies!”

“Then you’re claiming that your ability is broken.” Kurapika glared at her response. But, he knew deep inside that S/O was correct. He had spent many hours perfecting his technique. So, by calling S/O a liar, he was actively stating that his nen ability was faulty.

“How are you alive?! I- for years I thought I was the only survivor.”

“What are you talking about?!” S/O clenched her hand into a fist, “Let me go!”

Kurapika deactivated his chain. He then brought a hand up to his eyes and removed a contact, “My name is Kurapika Kurta, and for the last several years I believed I was the last remaining Kurta.”

At that moment both pairs of eyes flashed red.

“H-how?! I-I saw everyone get killed…I was there!” S/O cried, “Even my mother, who wasn’t even of Kurta blood was killed!”

“I was away at that time of the massacre.” Kurapika paused, a feeling of shame washed over him, “I’m sorry you had to witness that…I-I foolishly assumed the worse of you.”

“Then, you’re really from the Kurta...”

S/O tentatively took a step forward. When Kurapika showed no signs of movement, she took another. She repeated this process until she was in front of the blond. Then, she engulfed him into a hug.

The hug was awkward at first. S/O did not properly understand what she was doing. Essentially, she was hugging someone who was prepared to kill her. The male she was holding deserved nothing. If anything, his treatment towards her warranted a slap to the face.

Nonetheless, she hugged him. She poured countless emotions into that hug. Her pain, her sadness, but most of all her happiness. After years of being alone, she had found someone like her.

Kurapika, on the other hand, froze. He awkwardly stood as he let S/O hug him. However, as time went on, he felt a surge of emotions hit him. For the first time in years, he didn’t feel empty. This girl in front of him provided relief.

He cautiously raised his arms and returned S/O’s hug. Then, he let out a wail. He pathetically clung to S/O as if she would disappear. S/O, who completely understood Kurapika’s meltdown, rubbed small circles into his back in an attempt to soothe him.

The two stayed in the hug until Kurapika had calmed down. Still slightly sniffling, Kurapika pulled away. His eyes were swollen and his cheeks had a few lingering tears, “S/O, I will protect you. I failed the others, but I swear I won’t fail you.”

S/O quirked her brow, “I appreciate the thought, but I’ll only accept if you allow me to do the same.”

Kurapika smiled. He had meant each and every word. The girl in front of him was precious beyond words. She single handedly brought light back into his world within an hour. Kurapika no longer solely lived for revenge. He was given a positive drive for living.

Never would he have thought that his trip to Yorknew would have a positive outcome.

#imagines #request #hunter x hunter #hunter x 2011 #kurapika #kurapika kurta #hunterxhunter #x reader #kurapika x reader #hunter x hunter imagines #anime imagines #hxh #hxh kurapika

95 notes · View notes

isabilightwood · 3 years

Text

The Problem with Authority - Chapter 6

[Ao3][1][2][3][4][5]

Or, Sacrifice Summon! Jiang Yanli is here to make things right, be the ultimate big sister (step 1: bring back her dead brother), and maybe steal the Peacock throne in the process

Deciding to resurrect A-Xian was one thing. Putting the plan into action was entirely another. And unfortunately, the first step rested entirely on Nie Huaisang’s shoulders.

Nie Huaisang was not inclined to hurry. “I can’t snap my fingers and check every little town in the Cultivation World for one little snake,” he said, when she sent a butterfly to ask for updates. “I’m a miracle worker, not a god.”

Jiang Yanli understood this. But it felt like she was waiting around again for A-Xian to return from the Burial Mounds. Only this time, without an anxious A-Cheng to support, she had far less patience to spare.

One month felt as long as three.

While she waited, Jiang Yanli returned to Qin Su’s duties. The frequency of the garden parties had decreased, fortunately, with the changing weather and replacement of the extended family’s vault access with allowances. They were, as Jiang Yanli had predicted, very upset about the allowances. Muttering about how Jin Guangyao was taking away their rightful inheritance

And so, Jiang Yanli did paperwork in her office. Night hunt expenses and responses to letters about the watchtowers, often with Qi Juan keeping her company. Embroidering cranes onto a plain outer robe, while her baby napped, or crawled determinedly about the floor. Qi Juan found embroidery relaxing, as cooking was for Jiang Yanli — which she still could not do, thanks to Qin Su’s disastrous ability in that department — and was turning out to be very capable in finance.

She took meetings in her office now, too, with more than just the staff. The way she had convinced sect leaders to bend at the cultivation conference had been noticed, and some wanted to feel her out. They brought small but expensive gifts and tested her ability to sidestep seemingly innocuous questions. Asked her advice on night hunting cases or local issues the knew perfectly well how to solve. On occasion, she surprised her visitor with a piece of the puzzle they’d missed, and they left more intrigued by her than they’d begun.

It was never anything that threatened Jin Guangyao. Not yet. But he’d definitely noticed.

Unfortunately, A-Ling rarely joined them. He spent his days in the novice classes, for new disciples still working on forming their golden cores. Jiang Yanli had reorganized her schedule to spend more time with him, a few more hours out of the week teaching the very basics of sword forms. It was time she didn’t have. But it gave her more than just two meals a day — shared with Jin Guangyao, at least twice a week — and A-Ling’s bedtime with her son.

Qin Su continued her experiments with papermen, slowly increasing the amount of time she was able to stay away. It seemed to bring her more genuine pleasure than anything else, and so Jiang Yanli encouraged her, though she was anxious when Qin Su was out of sight. She couldn’t feel Qin Su when she was out of body, and it felt viscerally wrong, like something was missing.

Jiang Yanli was losing sleep over it, but with Qin Su’s golden core to compensate, she could manage.

Wen Qing was a comfort. She, too, had trouble sleeping, and was often up past the time when Jiang Yanli could no longer keep her eyes open.

They spoke frequently of the little brothers they each missed, and especially of A-Xian, two of the only people in the world who truly missed him. Finally, Jiang Yanli learned how he had lived those years in the Burial Mounds, and while much of it was heartbreaking, there was joy there too. So much more than she had dared to hope for.

She told Wen Qing in turn about A-Xian’s first talisman experiment. How he’d made and fastened a gigantic umbrella to Jiang Yanli’s boat, so she, too, could spend the entire day on the lake when A-Niang was in a mood. How he’d tried so hard to hide his pain at every turn.

Other times she simply told Wen Qing about her day, how A-Ling had done well on a quiz, or of his difficulty focusing during quiet solitary core formation exercises. About the antics of her older disciples, and the strangest questions an envoy asked or the most ridiculous demands by the extended Jin family.

Leading the pack was a proposal for a solid gold temple on a branch clan’s lands. They had heard of gold-coated temples in lands to the south that were reportedly more impressive than Koi Tower, and sought to outdo them without a thought for structural stability. Not to mention where they thought to find that much pure gold.

Jiang Yanli had informed them they could gild as many temples as they wanted on their own budget.

In return, Wen Qing told her of medical techniques she had invented or learned, far beyond the extent of Jiang Yanli’s knowledge. From surgeries on clouded eyes from a land of lush river banks and imposing desert pyramids far to the west to Wen Qing’s own use of acupuncture to redirect the flow of qi, enabling her excise the sort of meridian blockages that led to qi deviation, or siphon off resentful energy into the air.

Jiang Yanli had always been a good listener. But it was during those times, when she had the least to add to the conversation, that Jiang Yanli most often drifted to sleep.

She would have felt guilty, but she suspected that was Wen Qing’s intention. Instead, it only made her feel lighter, to be able to speak to someone honestly, about ordinary things without them knowing her every thought.

Usually, if she’d fallen asleep before Qin Su returned, she stirred slightly as she settled back in, and drifted back to sleep.

One night, Qin Su returned from her explorations feeling confused, and darkly contemplative. Though Jiang Yanli had managed to fall asleep in her absence, while Wen Qing was telling her how adding Schisandra berries to Jiang Yanli’s medication might have helped with her breathing problems, she came to full alertness as Qin Su slipped back into her head.

Something had happened.

I thought I saw resentful energy coming from Mo Xuanyu’s sleeve.

That wasn’t surprising. Mo Xuanyu had taken Xue Yang’s place as Jin Guangyao’s pet demonic cultivator, after all.

But he was flirting with the Kong Sect Heir, by the fountain in the garden closest to the Fragrance Hall, it seemed, from the image Qin Su showed her, and he didn’t seem to notice anything strange. He just kept blushing, and making abortive movements towards holding Xuanyu’s hand.

That was strange, she agreed. Not to mention, she’d thought he was flirting with the Luo Sect Heir.

Yes, he was, just last week.

Jiang Yanli had yet to meet the youngest of the Jin siblings. She would need to arrange to meet him, eventually, if he continued to prove elusive. Neither Nie Huaisang nor Wen Qing had the slightest idea what Mo Xuanyu was working on, and that could prove dangerous.

But meeting him would have to wait, because Nie Huaisang had finally found the fugitive he was searching for.

Before the sect leaders departed Koi Tower, Jiang Yanli had received a personal invitation to visit Baota for further negotiations with Sect Leader Zhai. To her surprise, she also been invited to visit the Qi Sect, in Chenggu, which had already agreed to a trial of three watchtowers, in its most productive farming region. Jin Huiqing had also patted her cheek and demanded a visit — it had been too long, apparently.

The behavior seemed strange to Jiang Yanli, but Qin Su insisted it was normal.

She chose a date for her travels only after she heard from Nie Huaisang.

There was no question that Qi Juan and Zhai Xia would join her to visit their families, but Jiang Yanli also wanted to bring A-Ling along.

“I’m concerned about the safety risk,” Jin Guangyao said with his usual plastered-on dimples.

“I’m more concerned with the security at Koi Tower.” Jiang Yanli informed him bluntly.

And because he couldn’t just admit that he had killed his own son, he conceded.

A-Ling might be able to finally meet his dajiu, so long as he didn’t know who A-Xian was.

In Baota, Jiang Yanli prospective sites for watchtowers, and was invited to spar with Zhai Qiaolian and their wives. “Just swords, no tricks with cultivation. We wouldn’t want to steal each other’s secrets by accident.”

Jiang Yanli wasn’t entirely certain what they meant by that, but as it would not require her to have mastered remote sword manipulation, she agreed.

And lost, soundly, to two out of three. It was some consolation that Qin Su claimed she would have also lost. Unfortunately, Zhai Xia finally extracted a promise that when she returned to Koi Tower, Qin Su would spar with her.

But her performance seemed to have pleased Zhai Qiaolian in some way, and they spent her final afternoon there sipping tea under a canopy while watching the Zhai disciples showcase their skills. A-Ling watched the sparring raptly from her lap, while discussing logistics.

As they left the training field, Qi Juan grabbed her by the left arm. Her vision swum at a sudden rush of pain. She fought to keep from crying out. She peeled Qi Juan’s fingers away, and the pain began to ebb.

“Oh, sorry! Are you hurt?” Qi Juan hovered frantically.

Jiang Yanli shrugged her off. “Just a cut. I was careless while sparring with Zhai-zongzhu. What was it?”

“Zhai-zongzhu just let us see their sect’s techniques.”

Oh. Interesting. It was impossible to tell whether that thought came from her or Qin Su.

Her stop in Chenggu was much shorter, but she left Qi Juan with her family, claiming she would herself like to pay a visit to Jin Huiqing on her way back to Lanling.

It was, as Qin Su pointed out, a good excuse to send the guards back to Koi Tower ahead of them. If they complained at being sent away, it could be considered an insult to Jin Huiqing. They were, after all, not only Qin Su’s husband’s own cousin (and though it was not publicly known, her own), but her older sister’s (estranged) sworn sibling.

The guards left. They would likely keep watch in Lanling, and arrange to join her as she returned to the tower to avoid censure from their sect leader. That was fine. It wasn’t as though she intended to parade A-Xian back to Koi Tower.

Jin Guangyao might find out she’d dismissed the guards, if he had spies watching the city closely enough, but the guard certainly wouldn’t tell him.

In Fengyang, Jiang Yanli found herself buried under a mountain of the friendliest cats she had ever met. Even A-Ling, who was loudly insistent that he liked dogs, deigned to scratch a few ears, after the first time a cat purred and planted itself in his lap.

As the Sect Leader was out of town on a night hunt, it proved a perfect opportunity to ask a burning question.

“What happened, between you and Qin- my sister?” Sworn siblings did not simply drift apart. “I know she’s angry, but…”

Huiqing hummed, shifting the placement of one of the two cats on their lap so it was no longer seated on the other’s head. “Oh, she has her reasons. Qin Xifeng would say I shirked my duty.”

She followed Qin Su’s lead for the conversation, as Huiqing might know her well enough to tell the difference. “Just for marrying out? For not, what, bringing Fengyang closer to Lanling?”

“No, no, though perhaps she would argue that as well. Our falling out was a matter of timing.” They sighed, and missed the same cat rolling back on top of its friend. “I would have thought you would agree with her, A-Su.”

Because of my — Qin Su shuddered — marriage? It’s not like my sister talks to me enough for me to know her opinions. A few times, she’s visited Koi Tower to meet with Jin Guangyao, and I only found out after she left. Her former friends must have spent more time with me than she did, growing up. But then again --

“My sister doesn’t have fifty of the friendliest cats in the world.”

They laughed. “That’s true. She doesn’t!”

Visiting Huiqing as Qin Su was a rather different experience from the times they, Mianmian, and occasionally Qin Xifeng had sought her out during the Sunshot campaign, when they drafted idle cultivators into doing the grunt work for Jiang Yanli’s kitchens and infirmary. Or later, during their brief tenure as first disciple, helping her gently bully Zixuan though social interactions.

She was there for no more than two days, but she felt completely and utterly spoiled.

Is this the meimei treatment? She asked, slightly dazed.

Just wait until you meet my brother. Qin Su informed her with a strange mix of smugness and exasperation. Kind of like Jiang Cheng, on a good day.

From Fengyang, she doubled back westwards, into Lieshan, meeting Nie Huaisang in a town at the base of a small mountain range. Somewhere in those foothills, there was a town that specialized in funeral goods, shrouded in blood-spattered rumors.

She wasn’t thrilled at the prospect of leaving A-Ling with Nie Huaisang, but she wouldn’t take her son into danger under any circumstances. Fortunately, it seemed Nie Huaisang had brought along five of his own disciples. The tallest of them, a woman almost as broad shouldered as Nie Mingjue had been, lit up at the sight of A-Ling, and immediately produced a pair of wooden swords from her sleeve. “May I?”

Jiang Yanli nodded for her to go ahead, and A-Ling was vigorously whacking the sword the woman held firm with his own before she had even exchanged greetings.

Nie Huaisang’s entourage was clustered around two tables, with a spot open across from him. He was not quite the smallest of the group in height, but even the short one had more muscle mass. Yet — when Nie Huaisang asked his disciples to give them privacy, they thumped him companionably on the back, making him grimace and smile, before obeying. He lead them not only because of his bloodline, but because he was theirs.

She placed the pot of lotus and pork rib soup she’d gotten up early to make on the table. At least in an inn, no one thought her likely to burn anything down. A-Ling had wanted to help, when she’d been slicing the roots, pouted when she wouldn’t let him use a knife, and then adorably bouncy when she let him taste the results. Replacing the heating talisman that was beginning to peel off, she took a seat.

“You’re certain this is Xue Yang? Not a local Yiling Patriarch copycat, or someone trying to bring their village notoriety?” After all, the village in question had been plagued with early deaths long before a demonic cultivator began to take a staring role.

Xue Yang would be attracted to such a place, but so would any garden variety demonic cultivator.

Nie Huaisang produced a fan just to flutter it dismissively. “Oh, it’s him. No one else has the skill or ability to play with their victims the way he does.”

Oh, great. We’re using an even more twisted mass murderer to resurrect the Yiling Patriarch. Fuck. Qin Su vanished into the talisman tucked into her sleeve when she realized Jiang Yanli had heard that. She didn’t get the chance to say that she understood why Qin Su, who had never met A-Xian, would be worried.

Jiang Yanli shrugged off her apprehension. “All right. How do I get there?”

“Ah. I’ll be going into the foothills with you.” Nie Huaisang said lightly — too lightly, given his promises to the contrary. “Not to confront Xue Yang, of course. I value my life more than that. But the rumors of walking corpses go far beyond what any demonic cultivator has achieved since the Yiling Patriarch. Since Wen-guniang confirmed that Wei-xiong made his Tiger Seal from some creepy sword he found in a monster’s belly…”

“What do you want with the Yin Iron?” She asked, in a pleasant tone.

If Nie Huaisang took it as threatening, that was his problem. Constant suggestions of ways to throw her baby brother into danger would not be tolerated.

A-Xian would have to help depose Jin Guangyao, because that was how the Sacrifice Summon worked, without risking whatever Qin Su had done to them both. Or leaving A-Xian trapped in a nightmare, with Xue Yang in his head. But she wanted to keep him safe, outside of situations that could not be avoided.

“Nothing! But I bet Wei-xiong could find a use for it.” He backtracked when she glared. No one was handing A-Xian Yin Iron if she had anything to say about it. “Or at the very least destroy it.”

“You were supposed to watch A-Ling.”

At that, he laughed. “Oh, no, Xiaodan is much better at keeping children alive than I am. I’m far too easily distracted for babysitting.”

Nie Xiaodan, the muscular woman, lifted her head at the sound of her name. “We’ll keep your little man entertained. He won’t have a scratch on him.”

“I’ll be very impressed if that’s the case. He’s managed to skin a knee or elbow every day of this trip so far.” A-Ling had been very dramatic about it, every time, even after she bent to his demands to kiss it better. “But isn’t it your duty to protect your sect leader?”

Nie Xiaodan did not miss a beat in her mock duel with A-Ling as she replied, though she was only watching him from the corner of her eye. “Eh, he’ll be fine. If A-Sang can sneak around Koi Tower without getting caught, he can avoid a demonic cultivator. Better to have us guard this little troublemaker, we’d only get in A-Sang’s way. Damn, your nephew hits hard. He’ll fit right in.”

Tall, muscular, and good with children — she would have been exactly Jiang Yanli’s type, as a teenager, when she secretly dreamed of being rescued and carried off to a happily ever after. Before A-Xuan returned her feelings, and she realized how much she liked that he liked being ordered around.

A-Ling beamed, and redoubled his efforts.

“I’d ask you not to teach him any more swears, but his jiujiu has already made that a moot point.” At least A-Ling did not yet understand what they meant, cheerfully exclaiming shit when he dropped something on purpose. Getting him to stop was a hopeless battle.

Jiang Yanli supposed she had no more arguments against Nie Huaisang accompanying her. “Fine. I’m sure you’re very good at hiding.”

He beamed like she’d given him a compliment. “I am!”

From the first step into the foothills, the world felt slightly out of place. It wasn’t anything obvious. The sky was the same blue with wispy clouds as it had been in town. The dirt was dirt; the trees were trees. The grass, such as it was in the wilting autumn, was grass. But the golden haze of the afternoon sun felt more like a nightmare than a dream, and the path forward seemed like the road to hell. Nie Huaisang lagged behind, uncharacteristically silent.

You don’t see it? Qin Su asked.

Looking around again, she could see nothing that might have drawn her interest. See what?

The fog of resentment. At Qin Su’s nonplussed words, she received a flash of an image. A doubling of the scenery before her, but with dark, smoke-like wisps overlaying everything. It didn’t seem to be doing anything, wasn’t drawn toward them with the intent to harm. It was simply there.

When A-Xian had used demonic cultivation to control resentful energy directly, rather than through corpses, he appeared to be pulling the energy from his surroundings as well as the amulet. There were even types of ghosts that could hide, undetectable by cultivation, until provoked. Could Qin Su be seeing ambient resentful energy?

That would explain what I saw with Mo Xuanyu, but not how I can see it. And then, quietly. Am I a tethered ghost?

Jiang Yanli didn’t know how to answer that. Though Qin Su was certainly angry, she didn’t feel like any resentful ghost she had ever come across. Not that there had been many, given her low cultivation and disinterest in night hunting. She’d only been given enough practical training to be able to get away to find help if she ran into one. Perhaps A-Xian would know.

However I’m seeing it, it’s getting thicker. Qin Su said with an undertone of worry a few minutes later. That probably meant they were approaching the village, and Xue Yang.

Soon after, they came across a teenage girl squatting off the side of the road, picking mushrooms.

“Hello,” she said, “I’m looking for someone. Do you think you might be able to help us?”

Though her irises were almost white, she had clearly been looking at the mushrooms she was gathering. “Might be, if you tell me something about them. Who’s us?”

She turned back to find that Nie Huaisang had vanished while she was paying attention to the girl.

He had claimed to be good at hiding.

“Just me then. I’m a cultivator, looking for a member of my sect. He’s a young man, who favors dark colors and candy. He’s missing a pinky, and I’ve heard his laugh described as skin crawling.”

“Please tell me you’re here to take that asshole away forever.” The girl groaned.

Clearly Xue Yang had not endeared himself to everyone in this town. Likely only, mysteriously, Xiao Xingchen. “That is the plan, yes.”

“Thank the heavens, my prayers have been answered.” She threw her head back and clasped her hands together. Looking back at Jiang Yanli, she said, “No, seriously, I have been leaving offerings in the village shrine and I’ve never done that before for anything. I don’t know why you want him back, but please take him far, far away.”

Qin Su’s amusement bled over into her, and Jiang Yanli laughed. “I see he’s made an impression. Where is he now?”

She shrugged. “Probably bothering Daozhang while pretending to help him peel vegetables. I’ll show you.”

The people they passed in the street looked downtrodden and miserable, more than she would have expected from a town that was a bit weathered and far from wealthy, but in good repair.

The air is chocked with resentful energy. Qin Su shuddered. That can’t be good for them.

The girl brought her to the entrance of a courtyard, and paused.

“He’s over there. I’m gonna go be… somewhere else.” She turned on her heel and walked back in the direction they’d come.

This was it. Her one chance to bring back A-Xian. She took a deep breath, and plastered on a smile.

When Jiang Yanli entered the courtyard, she saw a man dressed all in white, with a strip of cloth over his eyes was bent over a basket, smiling at a man in black who was leaning halfway into his lap, obstructing the first man’s progress. This must be Xiao Xingchen, the celebrated disciple of Baoshan Sanren. Of whose relationship with his former cultivation partner A-Xian had not so much expressed envy, as radiated it from every pore.

Yet now here he was, smiling obliviously at the man who had ruined his life.

Xue Yang pressed a kiss to Xiao Xingchen’s cheek and burst into unhinged laughter as he pulled away. Xiao Xingchen only blushed, and kept working.

(“What?” She’d asked, when Wen Qing suggested that someone might deserve having their soul destroyed.

“If anyone deserves it, it’s Xue Yang.” Wen Qing had said.

Then, Jiang Yanli had not disagreed. And when Wen Qing had explained Xue Yang’s obsession with A-Xian, she had known he was the best — no, only real possibility.

But now, she fully understood.)

Xue Yang looked up, and narrowed his eyes. He recognized Qin Su, of course, but must be surprised she would know enough of him to track him down. “Gege,” He said in a disconcertingly sweet voice. “There’s a pupp—”

“Shidi!” She cried out, and he paused, confused. “We’ve all been so worried!”

Xiao Xingchen was delighted to learn that his young companion was not quite so alone in the world as he’d believed, and immediately invited her to sit, and have some tea. Jiang Yanli was not going to drink anything that had been in Xue Yang’s vicinity, of course, but it wasn’t as though Xiao Xingchen would notice.

“It’s a small temple sect near the border of Lanling. He crossed a group disciples from the Jin Sect by mistake, and by the time we realized what was happening, he was gone.” Turning to Xue Yang, she gushed, “I’m so glad we’ve found you.”

“Are the Jins not still looking for me?” Xue Yang probed.

“Oh, they’ve forgotten all about us.”

“Gege, would you mind giving us a minute?” Xue Yang asked.

“Of course. I wouldn’t want to disrupt your reunion.” Xiao Xingchen patted him on the cheek as best he could, and took his basket of vegetables inside.

She dropped her fake cheer as Xue Yang allowed his malice to come to the forefront. “Xingchen-ge doesn’t eavesdrop. It’s sickening how pure he thinks he is.”

“Yet you’re here, anyway, playing house.”

“Wow, someone grew a spine.” He was cruelly delighted.

Wow, I have not missed him. Qin Su mocked his diction. By the way, he’s not the only source of the resentful energy here, but there is a lot of it clinging to him.

“Oh, oh! Let me guess. You found out you fucked your brother. Are you mad about the incest baby? You want me to take care of the great Lianfang-zun for you?” He laughed. Without the simpering quality he’d added for Xiao Xingchen’s sake, goosebumps immediately covered her skin. “Too bad, I’m busy. Go away and go stab him in the back yourself.”

That hadn’t been the part she predicted having difficulty selling him on. “He had you beaten and left for dead. Don’t you want revenge?”

“Sure.” He shrugged. “I’ll get around to it eventually, if no one else gets there first. Cheer up! You get first whack at him. I have some suggestions if you want them.” He counted them off on his five-fingered hand. “Castration, branding, carving up his skin, peeling off his nails while he screams for mercy. Choose your favorite murder fantasy and go wild!”

Those are his murder fantasies? He is… not creative. Jin Guangyao already went through the branding and skin carving to become Wen Ruohan’s direct servant. I’ve seen the scars. Qin Su paused. Please do not remind me why I’ve seen the scars.

Jiang Yanli did not have to pretend to be disgusted; Xue Yang’s presence alone achieved that effect. “What if I could offer you the spirit of the Yiling Patriarch? All access, in your head, for the time it takes to get revenge.”

There was a spark of interest in his eyes, quickly replaced by fury. “No one’s been able to find the Yiling Patriarch’s spirit. If you tease me too much, I might not let you go after all.”

Presumptuous to assume he could take her in a fight. His skill with a sword was undoubtedly greater, true, but she had A-Xian’s talismans on her side. “Who said I needed to find it? His spirit will be sucked into you from wherever he is.”

She offered him a copy of the body-reshaping version of the Sacrifice Summon, with heavily edited captions in Wen Qing’s handwriting. Most notably, describing an infusion of resentful energy, the desire for revenge, and the caster’s blood as the catalyst for a non-controlling possession.

“Yaoyao did say the next thing to be transcribed would be a summoning of some sort. Is this it?” Eyes glittering, he leaned forward into her space, forcing her to lean back to avoid the stale candy scent of his breath. “How in the world did you get it? No one’s more paranoid than Yaoyao.”

Yaoyao. Qin Su sniggered. He must have hated that. I bet that’s the real reason he threw Xue Yang out of Koi Tower.

She shrugged. “I suppose he didn’t think leaving it where his wife might come across it would be a risk. It hadn’t been before.”

“Why are you offering me this? Why not summon the Yiling Patriarch yourself?” He squinted suspiciously, because it was so far out of the realm of his comprehension that someone might not want the so-called scourge of the cultivation world in their head. “Unless you’re not sure it works, and think I’m expendable and gullible.”

“No, I know it works. I can’t summon him myself because I’ve already used it.” She held out her arm, and pulled up her sleeve to show an old-looking cut, still raw at the edges. Jiang Yanli’s was not from the ritual, of course. If it had been, Qin Su would be gone forever.

Wen Qing had guided her through the steps to keep a cut open, and she’d rubbed the herbal mixture over the cut every night since she’d left Koi Tower. It was the best approximation they could make, for the cuts that wouldn’t heal until A-Xian got Xue Yang’s revenge.

“Who’s in your head, then?” He asked, intrigued.

“Jiang Yanli.”

“Who?”

She blinked. “The — the Yiling Patriarch’s shijie? Jin Ling’s mother.”

Somehow, it had never occurred to her that Xue Yang might not know who she was. She felt a moment of panic, wondering how she could prove it wasn’t simply a trick if they had to resort to Qin Su pretending to be her in a paperman.

He shrugged. “Ok, you’d probably have picked someone important if you were lying. But she really wants me to summon her brother? Seems unlikely.”

This was the trickiest bit — phrasing an argument in a way Xue Yang would both understand, and expect another person to understand. Wen Qing had coached her extensively on how to avoid setting Xue Yang off. Hopefully, this domestic fantasy of his had not changed his perceptions too much. “She’s as angry as I am. You’re good at murdering people; she wants to talk to her brother again. You get the Yiling Patriarch’s expertise in exchange for binding you to something you intend to do anyway.”

“Hm. I don’t like binding contracts.” Xue Yang said, even as his lips curved upwards with wicked intent. “But — Xingchen-ge!”

Xiao Xingchen emerged from the house, stopping in the doorway. “Yes?”

“I’m going on a trip!” Xue Yang exclaimed, the transformation back into his adoring persona even more disturbing now that she’d seen the real thing.

“Are you going home now? Are you certain it’s safe?”

He hummed off-key. “For a bit, at least. Maybe I’ll be back here, before you know it.”

“You will, of course, be welcome.” Xiao Xingchen said softly. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too, Xingchen-ge!” Xue Yang sounded almost genuine as he ran inside. There was a sound of things falling as he presumably packed his qiankun bags.

Creepy. At least he won’t be missing anyone soon.

“Are you already leaving tonight?”

Xue Yang’s focus was already elsewhere. “Oh, yeah, we have time to get down to town before nightfall.”

“You must be eager to see your sect siblings again. I understand.” Xiao Xingchen sounded sad, but he would be better off without him.

“Sure.” Xue Yang said noncommittally.

When Xue Yang was packed, Jiang Yanli walked out of the courtyard a few steps behind him. She didn’t trust him at her back. “There’s an empty warehouse a few streets over. I’ll do it there.”

“You’re eager, for someone who doesn’t like binding contracts.”

“I’ve wanted to steal the Yiling Patriarch’s secrets for years, of course I am. Besides, the strength of the resentful energy in Yi City should help with the array. I barely even had to build it up myself, it was already like this!”

“I… see.” So if Qin Su was worried she was seeing something that wasn’t really there, she could stop that now.

I don’t think Xue Yang’s word proves that. But I was thinking that was what he did.

“No second thoughts now!” Xue Yang turned to walk backwards, clasping his hands behind his back. “What’s the soup for, by the way?”

“You’ll be starving after. I was.” She lied. “And this was Wei Wuxian’s favorite dish.”

Xue Yang’s grin widened to unnatural proportions. “Oh? The Yiling Patriarch’s favorite? I’m learning things already!”

Xue Yang drew the array with an intense focus Jiang Yanli hadn’t thought him capable of only moments earlier. She watched from a safe distance near the wall.

“Hmm, I can add more than one target, right? So that’ll be Su She. Those Jin guards who beat me. Fuck, I need to know their names, don’t I?” He tapped a paintbrush, red with his own blood, against his chin. “Let’s see, it was… Fan Caining, Jin Qian…”

He listed four more names as he inscribed them in the appropriate places around the array, all of whom were relatively strong cultivators, but outer disciples, or Jins too far removed from the main line to be named by the generational poem. All of them, according to Qin Su, sycophants. As happy to take unscrupulous orders as go night hunting.

Xue Yang looked up. “Do you think I should add Yao-zongzhu?”

She didn’t think anyone would be particularly upset if he died, but that was already eight people who would have to die for A-Xian’s new lease on life to become permanent. “Has he ever done anything to you?”

“Only tried to annoy me to death.”

“I don’t think the array would count that, no.” Jiang Yanli knew no such thing. But A-Xian wouldn’t be particularly happy about the guards as it as.

Xue Yang sighed wistfully. “You’re probably right. I’ll just have to get around to him at some point. And I can’t add Xingchen-ge or Song Lan or the brat, because of the time limit. Only a year? No, I want to draw that out.”

With one final symbol, the array was complete. Xue Yang hummed to himself as he carved the incisions into his arms. As he finished the last one, resentful energy was pulled towards him, now visible, from the surrounding air.

At first, he laughed.

Until the first black bubble formed on his hand, like the pustules on a rotting fierce corpse.

Xue Yang stared at it, in shock, and swore viscously as he shook it out. Black blood landed on the ground with a wet splat. That didn’t stop more bubbles from forming, and proliferating. Even as he shook them off, the discarded bubbles began to inch back towards him.

Jiang Yanli was horrified, and a little fascinated, her eyes glued to the transformation.

Qin Su balled up in her mind just enough to block her vision.

Even as she watched Xue Yang die, and she became a murderer, Jiang Yanli did not regret her choice.

Xue Yang finally accepted what was happening as the bubbles reached his neck. “You lied, you bi—”

The bubbles covered his mouth, cutting off the insult. His eyes were left for last, betrayed, and conscious to the very end. The body dropped to the ground, a seething mass of twitching darkness, as the reshaping continued.

Eventually, it lay still, human in appearance once again. Unmoving.

Just as Jiang Yanli was beginning to wonder if that was it, a flash of light shot down into the body - A-Xian’s body now, she could accept nothing else — and a cloud of resentful energy flew out from the array, making her flinch and cough.

When it cleared, Jiang Yanli rushed to the edge of the array, desperate to reach her brother. But she stopped, afraid to cross the barrier too soon.

A curtain of dark hair obscured his features, stealing away her chance to make sure that this body, at least, was his.

Qin Su sent soothing waves to her, but didn’t say anything. She, too, was caught in breathless anticipation.

When he finally stirred, she gasped.

A-Xian looked up at her through bleary eyes.

#the untamed #cql #wangxian #yanqing #qin su #my fic #the sacrifice summon! JYL fic #where the summoner (qin su) sticks around #this time featuring the resurrection of wei wuxian #with a twist #i really need to get better at timely tumblr posts ugh

4 notes · View notes

lovehaswonangelnumbers · 4 years

Photo

New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/message-to-lightworkers-august-28th-2020-victims-and-saviors/

Message to Lightworkers, August 28th 2020 ~ Victims and Saviors

By Caroline Oceana Ryan

This week’s guidance from the Ascended Masters, Galactics, Earth Elementals, Fae Elders, Angelic legions, and Archangels known as the Collective:

Greetings, friends! We are very pleased to have this moment to speak with you today.

Recently a Light Bringer commented to our writer about a channeling she had received for him, from one of his guides.

He wrote:

“In a recent channeling you did for me, my guide said that I am not the savior of the planet.

What I learned from that was, that we as Lightworkers are anchoring many Light codes that have helped bring about many changes and current situations on the planet.

It is our job to bring in the higher Light/energy so that the necessary changes can take place.

What she said also showed me that my most important job is to stay strong, to focus and take care of myself, and not be concerned or worried or stressed about what is going on in the world around me.

Our jobs as Lightworkers is to keep our energy/Light as strong as possible.

By doing this we are enabling our energy to flow, which will allow for a stronger fifth dimensional Light to be distributed around the planet.

If we worry and stress about all the chaos and madness going on simultaneously, this only diminishes the strength of our fifth dimensional Light, which is used to build the New Earth, and at the same time, protect the planet from the darker energies.

So by focusing on ourselves, and having the attitude that all is taken care of and all is complete, we are doing the greatest good that we came here to do.

That might sound selfish, but this is how we stay strong and focused, and stand tall and let our natural abilities as Lightworkers accomplish the most good.

We should not feel guilty about being concerned about ourselves and taking care of ourselves first. This is what we came here to do.”

Our writer recently channeled another message from another spirit guide, who offered almost the exact same message.

And she has pondered the point about guilt, as she and so many others were raised with the idea that “It is better to give than to receive,” which is a mistranslation of the text that has led to many misunderstandings of the original teaching.

It is of course possible to understand that this is a misteaching, and not a solid Truth for Light Bearers at this time.

Yet the subconscious is powerful.

Many still carry the feeling that they owe it to their fellow humans to give to the point of imbalanced overgiving, because it is for one thing difficult to see others suffer, and for another, hard to shake off centuries of learned self-negation.

We would say that this is indeed a time when many look out onto the world and see many in despair, weighted by experiences of hunger, homelessness, and unemployment, of illness or environmental destruction, and other dense situations.

And it is very easy to move from a moment of viewing those circumstances to feeling the compulsion to save or rescue those in difficulty.

And certainly, to help out here or there with solid advice, financial contribution, a meal, or smile or kind word of encouragement—all of that is a beautiful moment of connection with another.

In that moment you are sharing something.

They have blessed you with the chance to give, and you have blessed them with the chance to receive.

You are not fooling yourself that you are taking away their pain in any complete way.

And yet—your kindness reassures them that they are worthy to receive, and are gathering to them the tools and resources needed to stand on their own, to be well again or housed or employed again, to believe in themselves and their life path again.

A beautiful thing indeed!

And you yourself have realized that you are also Abundant; that you have plenty to give and plenty to feel wonderful about.

This is especially true when you are not feeling particularly Abundant, and for example, decide to give regularly 10 percent of all the money that comes to you as a gift and encouragement to a group or individual that inspires you with their work.

That number of 10 being the number of increase, you then bless your own situation—your income, your health, your relationships, and more—with the steady outflow of money that is simply a form of life energy.

The imbalance comes from the belief that giving should be compulsive or come from a need to rescue another.

We would agree with the channelings above, that the rescue idea, based on the victim/savior paradigm, is an idea whose time has well passed.

It is a belief based in scarcity teachings, and on self-denial, that says, “Others are more valuable than me. More worthy of Joy and fulfillment, while I am worthy of self-sacrifice.”

This is a strange and demanding time to be on the planet, and so you will need to watch your emotional and mental vibration, friends, as well as your etheric vibration, so that you do not shift either into despair or into “rescue mode.”

You can avoid that by sending higher Light to any person or place that appears to be suffering now, such as to the populations of California facing extreme fires, among other western states.

Send Light to their people, trees and wildlife, their homes, schools, and hospitals.

Send Light to the people of Beirut and their whole country of Lebanon as they rebuild themselves after disaster.

Send Light to those who are ill, or fearful for a loved one who is ill.

Light to those afraid of becoming unemployed, or who have done so, and are not receiving adequate income.

Light to those not able to make their rent or mortgage, or pay for health insurance.

Certainly you do not have the outer resources to make all this, and all of Earth’s other pains and challenges, suddenly fade away.

Yet you can envision all of these situations solved, just as you can envision NESARA Law fully enacted, and all persons living in Abundant and fulfilling circumstances.

You are correct if you are thinking that all will not be ironed out overnight.

Yet know that were you in the etheric, viewing Earth from the distance of being no longer in physical life, you would do no less.

You would not have the luxury of “rescuing” others, and would have to work with them energetically, as they were open to such, in order to assist them.

Recall from deep within you your complete confidence in energetic solutions that find their way outward to physical ones, and draw on that experience.

Assisted by your spirit guides and higher self, you are perfectly suited to help to transform your world, yet in ways that simply empower and encourage others, rather than take them off of their path.

The time to look for saviors and rescuers is well over, friends.

You have come in to learn how to love and trust yourselves and your own higher instincts. You lead the way in that path, as in so many others.

And so allow that particular kind of Joy and relief from heavy burdens, by letting go of that which is not yours to carry.

Care about others, most assuredly.

Yet grant that they are powerful enough (perhaps, far more so than you!) to create their own solutions, and that your love for them points that out, with complete confidence in all they are able to transform.

Namaste, friends! So much Joy awaits you, and begins to unfold for you now.

We are with you, always.

If you repost, please maintain the integrity of this information by reprinting it exactly as you find it here, and including the link to the original post.

Thank you.

******

All of Creation Is watching Earth and witnessing its Ascension Process. They are ready, ready for this Planet to be Declared a Light Only Zone. All of Humanity are called upon now to Step Up in fulfillment of their Divine Soul Contract.

The dark has been cleared, fully defeated and New Earth, Nova Terra, is ready to begin. This requires each Being to fully clear the remaining density within their bodies, to awaken to full remembrance of their Galactic Truth, their Soul Essence, their Divine Blueprint.

This is not a Drill, in Real Time, Present Moment of Now Mother of All Creation is on the Planet and she is Our Divine Director, Our Eternal Mother. She hired you for this role and She is here to guide you.

Mother has the entire Galactic Federation of Light and all the Angels with Her in all moments. She also has Her guide/ambassador Robin Williams and Master St. Germain by Her side. There is no session like this available on the planet, or in all of Creation.

LoveHasWon.org is a Non-Profit Charity, Heartfully Associated with the “World Blessing Church Trust” for the Benefit of Mother Earth

Share Our Messages with Love and Gratitude

VISIT OUR LOVEHASWON DIRECTORY… ALL OUR PLATFORMS ACCESSIBLE IN ONE PLACE ~ https://linktr.ee/lovehaswon777

Visit Our Online Store for Higher Consciousness Alternative Medicine, Products and Tools: Gaia’s Whole Healing Essentials

Visit Our NEW Sister Site: LoveHasWon Angel Numbers

https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/

Commentary from The First Contact Ground Crew 5dSpiritual Healing Team:

Feel Blocked, Drained, Fatigued, Restless, Nausea, Achy, Ready to Give Up? We Can Help! We are preparing everyone for a Full Planetary Ascension, and provide you with the tools and techniques to assist you Home Into The Light. The First Contact Ground Crew Team, Will Help to Get You Ready For Ascension which is Underway. New Spiritual Sessions have now been created for an Entire Family, including the Crystal Children; Group Family Healing & Therapy. We have just began these and they are incredible. Highly recommend for any families struggling together in these times of intense changes. Email: [email protected] for more information or to schedule an emergency spiritual session. We can Assist You into Awakening into 5d Reality, where your experience is one of Constant Joy, Wholeness of Being, Whole Health, Balanced, Happy and Abundant. Lets DO THIS! Schedule Your Etheric Surgery With Mother God Below, Including TWO sessions with a recommended donation of $88.88

⭐ Etheric Surgery with Mother & Father of ALL Creation ~ It’s Miracle Time! ~

https://www.lovehaswon.org/sessions/etheric-surgery/

⭐Crystal Schools for Rainbow Children:

https://www.lovehaswon.org/crystal-schools-for-rainbow-children/

⭐Schedule an Amazing Holistic Healing Session:

https://www.lovehaswon.org/holistic-healing-session/

⭐Call to Action Ascension Session:

https://www.lovehaswon.org/call-to-action-ascension-session/

⭐ LoveHasWon Clothing Line:

https://www.lovehaswon.org/t-shirts-apparel/

🌈 If you wish to participate, collaborate or coordinate with us on projects or services that are similar to the mission of Ascension for Mother Earth & Humanity, contact us. It is an Honor to connect with those of the Heart, in Unity Consciousness.

Love Always,

Mother & Father of all Creation & The First Contact Ground Crew Team.

Twin Flame Spiritual Intuitive Ascension Session: https://lovehaswon.org/lovehaswon-twin-flame-spiritual-intuitive-ascension-session/

Request an Astonishing Astrology Session: https://lovehaswon.org/lovehaswon-astrology/

Connect with MotherGod~Mother of All Creation on Skype @ mothergoddess8

Receive THE TRUE STORY OF CREATION, The Tree Of Life Book ~ https://gaiaswholehealingessentials.org/collections/higher-consciousness-transmutations/products/lovehaswon-tree-of-life-book

Receive The LoveHasWon Ascension Guide: https://gaiaswholehealingessentials.org/collections/higher-consciousness-transmutations/products/lovehaswon-ascension-guide

Donate through our Paypal Charity:

https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/3676799

Use Cash App with Our code and we’ll each get $5! FKMPGLH

Cash App Tag: $lovehaswon1111

https://cash.me/app/FKMPGLH

Donate with Venmo

https://venmo.com/lovehaswon1111

Thank you so much for Supporting Our Gaia’s Whole Healing Gofundme Campaign

https://www.gofundme.com/f/gaias-whole-healing-essentials

We also accept Western Union and Moneygram. You may send an email to [email protected] for more information.

***If you wish to send Donations by mail or other methods, email us at [email protected] or [email protected]***

**** We Do Not Refund Donations****

MeWe ~ Youtube ~ Facebook ~ Apple News ~ Linkedin ~ Twitter ~ Tumblr ~ GAB ~ Minds ~ Google+ ~ Medium ~ Mix ~ Reddit ~ BlogLovin ~ Pinterest ~ Instagram ~ Snapchat

#Angel Messages #Ascension and Spirituality #consciousness

8 notes · View notes

ceealaina · 5 years

Text

Title: Computer Love Collaborator Name: ceealaina Card Number: 3088 Link: AO3 Square Filled: A3 - Artificial Intelligence Ship: Stony Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Steve Versus Technology, Get Together, Smut Summary: A spam email and a misunderstanding from Steve lead to him accidentally revealing something very surprising. Word Count: 6228

Contrary to popular belief, Steve had adapted to technology wonderfully. As far as he was concerned, microwaves were the greatest things ever invented, right after the internet and computers. He still used physical newspapers, but it was mostly just to drive Tony crazy. He could use a tablet and his phone without even thinking, and loved the array of information and music and games that were instantly available at his fingertips. And he could spend hours binge-watching tv shows and movies.

What took a lot more getting used to was people. The way they interacted now was different. It had taken him probably too long to realize that men especially didn’t stand as close, didn’t touch the same way — except for Tony, who was as touchy feely as they came. He’d apologized, once, but Steve had told him he didn’t mind, that he appreciated that easy, friendly, physical intimacy that he’d thought he’d lost in the 40s, and since then Tony had made a point of touching him, probably more often that he did anyone else.

Other interactions hadn’t been so easy.

So when Steve woke up one morning, and found the email in his work inbox -- from his own email address -- he had a brief heart attack.

Hello!

I have very bad news for you. on this day I hacked your OS and got full access to your account xxxxxxxxxx

So, you can change the password, yes… But my malware intercepts it every time.

How I made it:

In the software of the router, through which you went online, was a vulnerability. I just hacked this router and placed my malicious code on it. When you went online, my trojan was installed on the OS of your device.

After that, I made a full dump of your disk (I have all your address book, history of viewing sites, all files, phone numbers and addresses of all your contacts).

A month ago, I wanted to lock your device and ask for a not big amount of btc to unlock. But I looked at the sites that you regularly visit, and I was shocked by what I saw!!!

I’m talk you about sites for adults.

I want to say - you are a BIG pervert. Your fantasy is shifted far away from the normal course!

And I did an idea… I made a screeshot of the adult sites where you have fun (do you understand what it is about, huh?). After that, I made a screenshot of your joys (using the camera of your device) and glued them together. Turned out amazing! You are so spectacular

I’m know that you would not like to show these screenshots to your friends, relatives or colleagues. I think 51551 is a very, very small amount for my silence.

Besides, I have been spying on you for so long, having spent a lot of time!

Pay ONLY in Bitcoins!

My BTC wallet: 182pjesSewBUj8PEgfM58p64jbok3i1gNU

You do not know how to use bitcoins? Enter a query in any search engine: “how to replenish btc wallet”. It’s extremely easy

For this payment I give you two days (48 hours). As soon as this letter is opened, the timer will work.

After payment, my virus and dirty screenshots with your enjoys will be self-destruct automatically. If I do not receive from you the specified amount, then your device will be locked, and all your contacts will receive a screenshots with your “enjoys”.

I hope you understand your situation.

Do not try to find and destroy my virus! (All your data, files and screenshots is already uploaded to a remote server)

Do not try to contact me (this is not feasible, I sent you an email from your account)

Various security services will not help you; formatting a disk or destroying a device will not help, since your data is already on a remote server.

P.S. You are not my single victim. so, I guarantee you that I will not disturb you again after payment! This is the word of honor hacker

I also ask you to regularly update your antiviruses in the future. This way you will no longer fall into a similar situation.

Do not hold evil! I just do my job. Good luck.

“Oh shiiit,” Steve breathed.

It wasn’t that he had any problem with porn, or his own sexual proclivities. He had known he was attracted to both men and women since before Captain America was even a thought in anyone’s mind, and he felt exactly zero shame about that. He had, in fact, been just waiting for a Republican broadcaster to bring it up so he could announce his bisexuality in the most satisfying way possible. The increase in acceptance of different sexualities was one of his other favourite things about the future.

But that didn’t mean he wanted everyone getting full frontal shots of him jerking off.

He knew, logically, that it happened these days. He had watched exactly thirteen seconds of Tony’s sex tape before realizing that oh shit, it was real and snapping his laptop shut. But he didn’t think he could handle it quite so well -- he lacked both Tony’s sense of self-confidence, and his utter lack of shame. And he was Captain America, he was meant to be a role model, there were certain things people expected of him.

And then there was the whole other aspect of the Captain America issue. If they’d managed to hack his personal email, who knew what other sensitive information they might have come across in the process.

A feeling of panic starting to pool in his stomach, he hopped out of bed. Pausing just long enough to pull on sweatpants and a t-shirt, he grabbed his tablet and made a dash for the lab.

Tony was elbows-deep in some circuitry, although he seemed to have been expecting Steve, giving him a quick glance and a warm smile as Steve burst into the room.

“Nice outfit, Cap,” he told him, and Steve glanced down to realize his shirt was inside out and his sweatpants were on backwards. “What can I do for you?”

“Uhh.” Now that he was here, Steve wasn’t entirely sure how to explain. “I could use your… Technical expertise?” he tried, tightening his grip slightly on the tablet. “It’s sort of sensitive. And time sensitive too, for that matter.”

That, apparently, intrigued Tony enough to finish up what he was doing and give Steve his full attention. “What’s up?” he asked, taking in Steve’s harried appearance. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I mean… I think so?” Steve sighed and held out his tablet, holding it like it might explode at any moment. “I got this email this morning,” he said, deciding it would be easier to let Tony read it for himself, rather than trying to stumble his way through an explanation. “It came from my own account.”

Tony arched an eyebrow, but he looked more curious than concerned. His eyes flickered as he read over the screen, and he couldn’t have been more than a few seconds in before he started laughing. A little nonplussed, Steve folded his arms across his chest, frown creasing his forehead as Tony kept laughing over the email.

“Oh god, this is priceless,” he choked out. “The spelling! ‘A screenshot of your joys!’” There were actual tears in Tony’s eyes, he was laughing so hard, and Steve was starting to get a little offended now. “Oh god, and then trying to convince you at the end that he’s actually a good guy, and not to hate him.” Tony actually snorted, wiping tears from his eyes as he set the tablet down on a table. “Oh man. Thanks, Steve, you big pervert.” He giggled again. “It’s been a day. Or, uh…” He glanced somewhat guiltily at the clock. “Night, I guess. I really needed that.”

“Uhh… Okay.” Steve watched as Tony walked back over to his project. “But what are we going to do about it?”

“Do about it?” Tony repeated, looking utterly confused for a minute before his eyes widened. “Oh. Oh, Steve, it’s not real.”

His voice was kind, but something about it made Steve feel squirmy and uncomfortable, embarrassed by his own ignorance. “What do you mean it’s not real?” he asked.

“It’s a scam, Steve. It wasn’t even sent from a real person. It’s just a real basic AI, and an automated message.”

“But it came from my account?” Steve hated that it came out as a question.

“It’s a spoof; it didn’t really come from your account, the program just makes it look like it did.”

Steve felt his eyes go wide. “They can do that?”

“Pretty easily, actually, if you know what you’re doing.”

Steve picked up the tablet again, frowning down at it. He felt silly now, but still couldn’t help being a little worried. Tony had just written it off so quickly. What if he was wrong?

Tony sighed, coming around to stand beside him. “Look, Steve, just read it over. The writing is a mess. It’s barely comprehensible in some places.”

“Not everyone gets to go to some fancy-ass finishing school, Tony,” Steve pointed out, sounding grumpier than he’d really intended. “Their grasp of the English language doesn’t mean it’s not legit.”

“Okay,” Tony acknowledged, obviously starting to get frustrated in response to Steve’s tone. “But Steve… a ‘vulnerability in the router?’ Who has two thumbs and personally designed every bit of technology in this joint to make sure it would be completely secure?” He pointed to himself with both thumbs. “This guy! For fuck’s sake, Steve, your work computer doesn’t even have a webcam. How would they even get these screenshots?”

“Well, I don’t know, Tony,” Steve snapped back, once again opening his mouth without thinking. “You’ve got a robot butler, alright? Someone secretly taping me jerking off to Iron Man porn could definitely happen.”

For a moment, Steve didn’t even realize what he’d said, glaring mutinously down at the email. But Tony’s lack of a snappy response grew suspicious, and Steve looked up to find Tony staring at him with wide, unblinking eyes, mouth hanging open.

“I’m sorry. You jerk off to what now?”

“Uhh,” Steve cleared his throat, doing his best to give off an appearance of nonchalance. “You know, I just meant in like a… General sense of the meaning.” He was pretty sure the blush he could feel setting his cheeks on fire was giving him away.

“Right,” Tony said, tilting his head as he eyed him consideringly. He leaned back against a table, crossing his legs at the ankles and folding his arms across his chest. “So you only jerk off to Iron Man porn in a general sense.”

“Yes,” Steve said with confidence that he didn’t feel. “Wait, no! I don’t jerk off to Iron Man porn. I just meant that… someone could… jerk off to Iron Man porn.”

“Oh, I see.” Tony nodded sagely, but he was openly grinning at him now. “You were referring to the general me, and not the specific me.”

Steve glared, but it was lacking in heat. “I know you’re just making fun of me,” he grumbled. Tony gave him a pointed look in return, like he deserved it. “Look, you’re very…” He gesticulated wildly at Tony, trying to encompass everything he was. “You. And then the suits are amazing pieces of technology, and the way they move and…”

“Huh.” Tony licked his lip almost nervously, before a shit-eating smirk crossed his lips. “So is that why you spend so much time hanging out with me down here? Perving on my suits and storing up images for the spank bank?”

“No!” Steve burst out. “No, of course not. I’m here because I enjoy spending time with you!”

Tony’s eyebrow arched, tongue flicking out again. It was very distracting. “So then is it Iron Man porn you’re watching, or Tony Stark porn?”

Steve’s eyes went wide. “There’s Tony Stark porn??” he demanded, before realizing that his voice probably came out just a little too enthused at that prospect. “I mean, uh… Like you were in a blue film, or…?” He trailed off as he suddenly realized what Tony probably meant.

“Uhh.” Tony’s expression was difficult to read. “Well, I was just talking about the knock off pornos, some guy with a business suit and a poorly maintained goatee banging a bunch of blondes. But, uh.” He rubbed at his eyebrow. “There were some definite lapses in judgment, when I was younger. Some tapes I made when I was too… inebriated to think the better of it, and had extremely poor taste in partners. They’re probably still floating around the internet, if you take the safe search off.”

It was said flippantly, but Steve spent a lot of time watching Tony. He could see the slight edge to his smile, the twist of his ankle that meant he actually was a little embarrassed, even if he was playing it off.

“It’s Iron Man,” Steve told him quickly. “It’s definitely Iron Man. Something about that suit… I don’t know.” He shrugged helplessly.

“Ah, well then.” Tony was still grinning, wide and bright, but for just an instant it seemed like his eyes had dimmed slightly. “Remind me to adjust your permissions so you’re not allowed down here alone, huh?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Tony.”

Tony waggled his eyebrows at him, laughing, but he was turning away and it felt like something had shifted between them. Steve couldn’t help feeling like he was disappointed, somehow. He couldn’t get a read on him, but Tony had been licking his lips an awful lot and, well. Steve had always been a bit of an insufferable idealist.

“I mean,” he started, before he could talk himself out of it. “I also didn’t know that Tony Stark was an option, so… That might change things, a little… Now…”

Tony had gone still, his back a straight line, and with a sinking feeling Steve started to wonder if he’d gotten it entirely wrong.

“I mean, um. Unless that makes you uncomfortable, in which case… I mean, I would never violate your privacy and look at your tapes, but if even the idea freaks you out, I just…” He winced as Tony turned around again, openly grinning at him again. “I just mean if it freaks you out we can forget I ever said anything,” he finished lamely. He could feel his skin growing hotter and he heaved out a sigh before burying his face in his hands. “Don’t suppose you have a built-in feature that let’s the floor open up and swallow me whole?” he mumbled into his skin.

“No,” Tony told him, and there was laughter in his voice. “But I’ll get to work on that right away.”

Steve just nodded, still hiding his face as he waited for the flaming heat of his skin to die down a little. Before it did though, Tony was kicking his ankle.

“Hey. Steve, you’re fine. I’m not mad. I’m really, really not mad.”

Steve nodded again, finally lifting his head back up although he couldn’t quite bring himself to look at Tony directly. “Right, well. I’m going to quit the team and become a vigilante instead. Maybe make my own costume… I’ve always liked blue and yellow.”

He made no actual attempt to leave though, couldn’t seem to manage to remove himself from Tony’s orbit. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Tony chewing at his lip.

“You know,” Tony said after a minute. “I never actually told anyone this, not even Rhodey — don’t know why, we were dating for fuck’s sake. But uh.” He shook his head, realizing he was distracted. “When I was a kid, I had this vintage Captain America poster on my wall?”

Steve's head snapped over to look at him, feeling his breath catch in his chest. Tony shook his head, grinning a little foolishly.

“Come on, Steve. You know where I’m going with this.”

Steve shrugged, grinning at him helplessly. “Tell me anyway.”

Meeting his eyes, Tony kept perfect eye contact as he continued. “So when I was a little older, I started getting these urges…” He smirked when Steve rolled his eyes. “Spent a lot of nights jerking off to that poster, Steve. Fantasizing about, well… You. And honestly? Not a lot has changed since then.” He pushed off the table he was leaning against, moving forward. Steve’s heart stopped as Tony stalked toward him until he was close enough that Steve could practically feel his breath on his lips. “Tony Stark is definitely an option,” he breathed.

For a moment silence hung between them, heavy as Tony waited for Steve to make the next move. And then all at once Steve surged forward, hands curling tight around Tony’s hips as he yanked him up tight against his body. He’d probably used a little more force that was strictly necessary, but judging by the way Tony’s eyes darkened, and the soft, breathy noise he made, he didn’t mind in the slightest. Steve hesitated only a moment longer, eyes locked with Tony’s, before he leaned in to kiss him. It was gentle at first, a little tentative, but then Tony made another soft, needy noise, and Steve couldn’t stop himself from reacting, pushing the kiss deeper, licking along the seam of Tony’s lips until he opened up for him, kissing him until Tony was out of breath and pulling back with heavy panting breaths.

They stood there, grinning goofily at each other for a ridiculously long minute before Tony finally cleared his throat. “So, Cap? Did I measure up to all your fantasies?”

“More than,” Steve told him quickly, not even giving it a second thought. “Jesus Christ, Tony.” His hands flexed on Tony’s hips, and then he was drawing him in for another kiss, feeling his knees go a little weak as he felt Tony’s cock hardening against his thigh.

“Um.” Tony was looking a little flushed when they pulled away again, and Steve delighted in the fact. “No pressure, if you’re not up for it.” He snickered then, pressing his face into Steve’s shoulder for a minute as he got his ridiculous laugh under control. “Metaphorically speaking, since I can tell part of you is very up for it.” He emphasized this with a purposeful grind of his leg against Steve’s dick and Steve groaned in exasperation even as he nearly choked at the sensation. “What is it I see in you again?”

Tony beamed at him, and then his hands were curling around the back of Steve’s neck, dragging him down for another kiss that had Steve seeing stars.

“That,” he told him smugly, and Steve couldn’t even argue. “But as I was saying, if you want, we could, uh… See how many more of your fantasies we can bring to life?”

He was waggling his eyebrows like an absolute idiot, but there was also something soft and tentative and a little nervous in his expression. It cleared a moment later, when Steve nodded his head so fast that he nearly gave himself whiplash. “Yeah, that uh… That sounds good. Please.”

Tony’s grin grew impossibly wider, and then he was turning around, heading for the far corner of the lab. “Normally I’d try to impress you with my incredible view and high thread count sheets,” he said, glancing over a shoulder and snickering when he caught Steve blatantly checking out the bounce of his ass. “But uh… You’ve already seen all that, and I honestly don’t think I can stand to wait long enough to get you upstairs.” He plopped himself down on the side of the cot he kept down there, legs spread wide, and crooked his fingers at Steve. “C’mere, baby.”

Steve eyed the cot skeptically. “I don’t think that’s gonna hold us,” he told him, although it didn’t stop him from practically sprinting over to join him.

“Relax, handsome. It’s reinforced for Iron Man. We’ll be just fine. It’s science.”

Steve was skeptical about this particular brand of ‘science’ but Tony was leaning back against the mattress now, arching an eyebrow at him enticingly. His t-shirt had rucked up a little, revealing a deliciously tanned bit of skin at his hip, and the image was too good to resist. Steve moved forward until he was kneeling on the mattress, straddling Tony’s hips and looming over him. Tony licked his lips, staring up at him with wide eyes, and Steve leaned down to kiss him, groaning as their upper bodies pressed together.

“Fuck,” he cursed, couldn’t stop himself from grinding down against him, toes curling at the pressure on his cock. “Jesus, Tony. Wanted this for so long.”

Tony bit his lip, looking absolutely delighted, and then he was leaning back until he was flat on his back, spreading his legs to make room for Steve in between them. He curled a hand in Steve’s wrinkled t-shirt and tugged at it. “This? Needs to come off.”

“You first,” Steve told him, trying to at least pretend like he was cool.

Tony arched an eyebrow, looking like he was considering arguing just on the principle of it, but then he relented, sitting up a little to haul his t-shirt up over his head. He didn’t give Steve time to look before he was grabbing at the hem of his shirt too, yanking until Steve shifted enough to let him pull it off over his head, leaving his hair rumpled and messy. Tony grinned at him, combing it back from his hair in a surprisingly soft gesture. Then his eyes were drifting lower, catching somewhere around Steve’s nipples.

“Christ, look at you,” he mumbled. His hips rocked up and Steve groaned, fingers clenching against Tony’s hips, grinding down against him again.

“Tony,” he gasped, head tipping forward to press against his shoulder. Tony huffed out a low laugh, and he slid a hand down Steve’s chest, tracing the lines of his pecs and making Steve pant into his skin. “Tony,” he said again. “Shit, I’m —,”

“Yeah?” Tony asked. He sounded like he was smirking. “Feel good?”

Steve nodded, unable to put into words exactly how sensitive his chest was. His cock ached and he couldn’t seem to stop himself from grinding down against Tony over and over, feeling his balls pulling up tight. He mouthed desperately over Tony’s neck, sucking against his skin, and Tony’s legs tightened around his hips, his fingers tangling in the strands of Steve’s hair and tugging just hard enough to send sharp fizzles of pleasure shooting up Steve’s spine.

“Me too,” Tony hummed, rubbing up against him. “God Steve, you feel amazing.”

He groaned deep in his throat, tilting his head when Steve’s teeth scraped over his pulse point. And then his hand was shifting again, pinching and rubbing over Steve’s nipple. Steve’s eyes went wide and sightless, and he sobbed a moan into Tony’s neck as he came right there, grinding down against Tony as he dragged out his orgasm.

“Oh god,” he muttered when he felt like he could breathe again. “Oh fuck.”

He could feel Tony’s hand rubbing soft and soothing over the back of his neck, and he squirmed a little in embarrassment.

“Um.” He lifted his head to give Tony a somewhat sheepish look. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Tony was grinning back at him, actually looking pleased. He shifted a little, moving back until he was on the bed properly, sitting up and leaning into the couple of pillows at the head of the bed, half dragging Steve with him owing to the way they were all tangled up together. His grin grew wider when he was met with Steve’s flushed face, and he brushed a flop of hair back from his forehead. “Don’t worry about it, Cap,” he told him, his other hand stroking absently over Steve’s thigh. “Happens to the best of us. Honestly, I’m flattered that I--,”

Tony cut himself as his hand shifted over a little too far and Steve made a faint, punched out noise. For a long minute Tony just blinked at him, and then, deliberately this time, he gripped Steve through his sweatpants, thumb rubbing over the head of his still-hard cock through the damp material.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he breathed, soft like Steve wasn’t supposed to hear. “Are you… Again? Already??”

“Uh.” Steve felt his cheeks flush even deeper red. “Well, still. But yeah.”

A high-pitched, desperate noise slipped out of Tony’s mouth and his hands pulled away from Steve, clenching against the sheets like he was trying not to come himself. “Is…” He cleared his throat and tried again. “Is this a common thing, or am I just special?”

“Yes,” Steve answered before he’d even fully processed the question. “Yes, you’re definitely special.” He watched Tony’s face go soft and a little flustered at how sincere he was. “But uh… Two or three times is pretty much the norm for me.”

Tony blew out a long breath, shaking his head and looking absolutely thrilled. “I am one lucky man.”

Steve couldn’t help smirking at him. “Not yet,” he told him. “But you’re about to get very lucky.”

Tony blinked at him, then started laughing, and while he was still cackling delightedly, Steve ambushed him. Getting his hands around Tony’s hips, he yanked him down a little lower. Amusement still on his face, Tony looked up at him with an arched eyebrow, clearly waiting for Steve’s next move. Steve ran his palms up and down over Tony’s thighs, noting the way Tony’s eyes followed the motion, the way his abs clenched at how big Steve’s hands were against his legs.

“Can I…?”Steve didn’t finish the question, instead shifting his hand to toy with the button of Tony’s jeans. Tony swallowed hard and nodded, staring at Steve with wide, dark eyes.

“Be my guest.”

His cock twitched.

With one orgasm out of the way, Steve was feeling more relaxed, not quite so desperate as before. He couldn’t resist teasing Tony now, sliding his hands up his thighs again, thumbs on either side of his cock, not quite touching him through his jeans. He felt the strong muscles in Tony’s legs clench, flicked his eyes up to see Tony open his mouth like he wanted to protest only to clench his jaw and keep quiet, eyeing Steve as he waited for his next move. Steve grinned and rewarded him with a quick stroke of his thumb over the bulge in the denim, his own cock giving a gratified twitch at the sharp inhale that Tony couldn’t quite hold back.

“You’re a fucking tease,” Tony breathed, sounding both surprised and pleased by this revelation. Steve looked up at him again, gave him a wink, and took advantage of Tony’s resulting eyeroll to thumb open the button of his jeans.

Tony groaned at that, the sound coming from deep in his chest, the perfect blend of aroused and content. His hips twitched a little as some of the pressure was relieved and when Steve’s eyes tracked the movement, Tony rocked them again intentionally, letting his pants slide a little lower on his hips.

Steve grinned, and instead of opening his pants further, he curled his hands around Tony’s thighs again, easily spreading his legs wider, just because he could.

“Can I blow you?” he asked, just to see if he could pull another one of those incredible sounds out of Tony. This one was better, a high pitched breathy noise, like Steve had left him utterly shocked for a brief moment.

“Yes,” Tony told him, nodding a little frantically and mussing up his hair against the pillows. “Yes, absolutely. Hell, Steve. You get these pants off me, and you can do whatever the fuck you want.”

“Oh yeah?” Steve grinned and settled himself between Tony’s legs, unable to resist rocking down against the mattress for a moment. His own pants were starting to feel sticky and uncomfortable now, and he considered a minute before shoving them off entirely, the movement quick and perfunctory.

Tony made a soft noise, clearly disappointed that he wasn’t getting a better view, and Steve hid his smile against his hip. Without further ado, Steve slid Tony’s zipper down and then shoved his jeans down over his hips. Tony moved with him easily, as in sync with each other as ever, arching and wiggling in the appropriate moments to get himself unclothed as quickly as possible. When he saw the bright red silky thing that Tony was wearing underneath, the thin fabric straining against the weight of his hardon, Steve had to take a minute to just shake his head.

“Jesus Christ,” he muttered. “You’re so fucking… Decadent.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing. Nothing wrong with a little decadence, Steve. You ever try anything besides those cotton boxer briefs you like so much? I’ve got a hookup, if you wanted to... expand your horizons, a little.” Tony’s gaze went a little unfocused, mind jumping seventeen steps ahead, as usual. “God, you’d look amazing in something lacy. Maybe a pretty little thong, show off that ridiculous butt of yours. Or--,”

Tony made a noise dangerously close to a squeal as Steve, without any warning, cut him off by dipping his head, sucking at him through the fabric. Tony clapped a hand over his mouth, like he could somehow take the sound back. “Or that. That’s good too.”

Steve huffed out a laugh, drawing another gasp out of Tony as the sensation vibrated up his dick. “You got it, boss,” he hummed, grinning when Tony shifted beneath his hands.

“You’re such an asshole,” Tony protested, although he was laughing. Steve just looked up at him and winked again; if Tony thought he was an asshole, he could show him a real asshole.

Taking his time, Steve placed gentle, sucking kisses up the length of his thick cock, still through the silky red fabric, more of a tease than any real pressure. Tony shuddered, whining under his breath, and out of the corner of his eye, Steve saw his fingers twist in the sheets beside his hips.

Steve pulled back long enough to catch Tony’s hands in his, meeting his eyes steadily as he placed them on the back of his head and gave Tony a pointed look.

“Jesus Christ,” Tony groaned, head tipping back. It didn’t stop his fingers from tangling in Steve’s hair. “This is not what I was expecting from you.”

Steve shivered at the idea that Tony might have thought about this before. “Well, you know me. I’m just full of surprises.” He didn’t give Tony a chance to answer before he ducked lower, nuzzling at his balls. Tony made a pained noise, like it was so good he couldn’t stand it, and tightened his legs around Steve’s shoulders. Steve grinned and moved his hands back to Tony’s thighs, sliding them up and running the pads of his fingers through the coarse hair there. He slid them up until they were sliding under the elastic at the tops of his legs, teasing the skin hidden from view. He watched Tony’s cock twitch again, as he slid toward the crease of his groin.

“Fuck,” Tony groaned, yanking at Steve’s hair until he shuddered. His voice was rough and hoarse. “Steve, if you don’t get these fucking things off of me…”

Steve grinned, dipping his head to scrape his teeth over Tony’s hipbone. But he was itching for more too, and relented after that, pulling his hands free to grab at the waistband instead. Tony made a pleased sound, arching his hips to help Steve slide the fitted material down over his legs.

“Shit,” Steve breathed as he was met with Tony’s thick cock, flushed and full, curving up toward his belly. “Look at you.” He blew out a slow breath, grinning when it breezed over Tony’s sensitive skin, making his cock twitch and back arch again.

“Steve,” he groaned. “Steve, come on. Give me more, I need more. Please.”

Steve shivered, rewarded Tony with a lick from base to tip. “I like the sound of that,” he said, hearing how low his own voice had gone. “You saying please.”

“Yeah?” Tony was grinning, obviously playing all cool and collected, but Steve had seen the wall his cock had throbbed. “You gonna make me beg, Rogers?”

“Maybe.” Steve settled back between Tony’s legs, teasing his legs with his tongue and teeth, avoiding his cock altogether. Tony made a soft whining noise, trying to push himself closer, tugging at Steve’s hair to try and get him where he wanted, but Steve responded by pinning his hips to the mattress, holding him still as he mapped out the sensitive parts of his body, the places that made Tony twitch and moan and tug reflexively at the strands of Steve’s hair. He didn’t relent, no matter how much Tony tried, teasing him until he was a panting, shifting mess, head rolling back against the pillows as Steve wound him up until he couldn’t see straight.

“Fu-uck,” Tony gasped, arching his back and tipping his head back. His neck made an enticing image, and for a moment Steve was distracted, thinking about how badly he wanted to mark it up. “Okay, Christ, you win. Please Steve, please. I’ll do anything, just please. Fucking touch me. Let me come, Steve, please.”

Steve had ignored his own erection in favour of tormenting Tony, but it came back with a vengeance at the sound of Tony begging for him, his cock throbbing between his legs. He ground down against the mattress once, stroked a thumb over the curve of Tony’s hipbone.

“Yeah,” he said, suddenly done with teasing. “Yeah, sweetheart. Whatever you want, you got it.” And then, because he’d always be a troll, he glanced up at Tony with a wicked smile. “Hey, did you know that I can hold my breath for fifteen minutes?”

And while Tony was still parsing that in his flustered state, Steve curled his hand around the base of his cock and lowered his head, not stopping until Tony was pressing into his throat and Steve was groaning around his mouthful.

“Oh Christ,” Tony wailed, hips bucking despite having nowhere else to go. He yanked hard at Steve’s hair, and Steve felt it in his balls. “Oh fuck, Steve, your fucking mouth.” He rocked desperately against him, going nearly cross-eyed as Steve sucked around him. He cursed and shifted as Steve pulled slowly off his cock, tongued at the head, before sucking him back down again. “I’m not… You can’t… Don’t judge me cause I’m gonna come in about two -- fuck!”

Steve’s free hand moved, thumb rubbing harshly over his perineum, and for a brief moment Tony went stock still before he was coming hard, hands holding Steve’s head down as he came down his throat. The feeling was too much for Steve, who rocked down hard against the mattress, spilling against the sheets.

It was a minute before Tony’s hands let go enough for Steve to pull off, panting more from the thrill of his orgasm than from any real exertion. He rubbed his sweaty forehead against the smooth skin of Tony’s abdomen, feeling it flex as he tried to catch his breath, and he grinned as Tony’s hand resettled on the back of his head, combing absently over the short strands.

“Oh fuck,” Tony finally said, sounding like he’d only just remembered how to speak. “Oh fuck, that was… That was incredible, Steve.” There was no teasing in his voice, sweet and sincere, and Steve felt a warm, comfortable weight settle over him at the sound.

Lifting himself up on slightly shaking limbs, he crawled up the mattress until he was face-to-face with Tony again, flopping down on the pillows beside him. It was a tight fit, but gave him an excuse to wrap an arm around Tony’s waist. “Yeah,” he admitted, aware that he was grinning like an absolute idiot. “Yeah, it really was.”

Tony grinned back at him, equally stupidly, and then leaned forward, kissing Steve all slow and lazy now.

“Oh hey,” he said, pulling back suddenly. “Sorry about, uh…” He gestured vaguely between them. “Coming down your throat without asking like that. Terrible sex etiquette.”

Steve snorted, pressing his head to Tony’s collarbone as he laughed giddily. “It’s fine,” he promised him. “I wouldn’t’ve let you if I didn’t want it.” He lifted his head again to find Tony watching him with that same soft expression and he reached out, catching Tony’s hand and toying with his long fingers. “So. What now?” he asked, not quite meeting Tony’s eyes.

“Now?” Tony repeated. “Now I’m thinking we take a shower, get cleaned up, and then maybe go upstairs and crawl into my bigger, more comfortable bed for a couple hours together?” He trailed off a little hopefully, and Steve looked up at him, felt his breath catch. “And then, uh…” Tony ducked his head and twisted his wrist so he could rub his thumb over Steve’s pulse point. “Then maybe I could take you to dinner? I’ve got this little Italian place I think you’d love.”

“Yes,” Steve told him, and it was entirely too earnest but Tony didn’t look like he minded at all. “Yes, that sounds perfect.”

@tonystarkbingo

#tonystarkbingo2020 #tsb2020 #stony #get together #humor #tony stark #steve rogers #lemon #fic #my fic

23 notes · View notes

sebspocketsquare · 5 years

Text

Wishing you were here.. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (chatroom)

A/N: Hey guys! Here’s the second installment. I hope you enjoy it, and please let me know what you think.

Warnings: language, flirting, pet names, angst, feels, bad date vibes

Masterlist

[Sarge1917:] Tell me all your favorite things.

[SpaceKitten:] All of them? You can’t be a liiiittle more specific? Lol

[Sarge1917:] oh, I’m sure I could, but.. I want to know everything there is to know about you, kitten, so I figured I’d just outright ask. (;

Every time Sarge flirted with you like this, it made you squirm in your seat while a huge smile overtook your face. To say that you found him irresistible was an understatement.

[Sarge1917]: But if it’ll be easier for you.. let’s start with favorite food, music, flowers and scent.

[SpaceKitten]: I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.

[Sarge1917]: Deal.

This is always how your conversations started out, genuine interest in wanting to get inside your shell. But, in the early hours of the morning when the sun is just starting to paint the sky in pastel flames, the connection between you sparks and ignites.

You spill your hearts out without a second thought.

[Sarge1917]: Kitten.. can I be completely honest with you?

[SpaceKitten]: always.

Your response is nearly immediate, like its second nature to reassure him that he can trust you. That he can feel safe with you.

[Sarge1917]: I really care about you.

[SpaceKitten]: I really care about you too, Sarge.

You thought that was common knowledge in the friendship that had bloomed between you. He was always there for you, and you for him.

[Sarge1917]: As happy as it makes me to hear that, I’m not sure you understand what I’m trying to say…

[Sarge1917]: What I mean is.. I like you, kitten.

[Sarge1917]: Probably much more than I should, given I’ve never even so much as heard the sound of your voice, let alone seen your face or held you in my arms.

[Sarge1917]: I thought all of that was important when I first joined this site.. that I was already set up for failure because id never have an emotional connection with a person I couldn’t physically see.

[Sarge1917]: But I was wrong, kitten.. so very wrong.

Your mouth has gone dry at this point, a lump forming in your throat as your heart threatens to explode behind your ribs.

[Sarge1917]: Talking with you is the highlight of my day, and frankly, I don’t want to imagine a life without you in it..

[Sarge1917]: Which makes what I’m about to say very hard for me.

The excited rhythm of your heart immediately becomes a harsh thundering in your chest, fear flooding through your veins.

[Sarge1917]: I know we’ve never really gotten into detail about what I do for a living, but occasionally, I have to go off the grid for a few weeks, even months, at a time..

[Sarge1917]: It would seem now would be one of those times.

You stare blankly at the screen for a few moments, not quite sure how to respond to him.

He was leaving… for an undetermined amount of time?

And ‘off the grid’? What did that mean?

No computer access? Surely he had a cell phone?

[Sarge1917]: Kitten…? please still be with me..

You don’t even notice how long you’ve sat, lost in your own thoughts, until he messages again.

[SpaceKitten]: I’m here..

[SpaceKitten]: How long will you be gone…?

You don’t notice you’ve started to tear up until you can barely read his response when it comes through.

[Sarge1917]: Two to three months. Depends on how quickly I get my work done. I won’t have access to phone or internet where I’m going. That’s why I needed to tell you..

[Sarge1917]: Because I know it’s selfish to ask you to wait for me.. Hell, if you even feel the same as me..

[Sarge1917]: But I can promise, as soon as I get back, I will contact you.

You’re surprised he’s the one feeling selfish, when all you can think of is begging him not to leave you.

He wasn’t yours, yet the idea of going weeks without speaking to him made anxiety fill your lungs.

He’d given you the one thing you’d been missing: hope for something good. Hope for something beautiful.

[SpaceKitten]: When do you leave?

[Sarge1917]: First thing in the morning.. I know I should’ve told you sooner, but I.. I didn’t know how.

[Sarge1917]: I’m not good at saying goodbye.

You force a smile and take in a shaky, tearful breath.

[SpaceKitten]: Not goodbye.. just ‘see you soon’, right..?

[Sarge1917]: Of course. Just see you soon.

When Sarge finally signed off a few hours later, an empty pit formed in the center of your chest and you found yourself silently sobbing yourself to sleep.

Was it childish? Maybe, but in that moment, you didn’t care. Your worst fear in the friendship had come to reality; he left.

Two weeks turned to four, four turned to six, six to eight and so on, until Sarge’s absence had reached an appalling 22 weeks.

Summer had turned to autumn, and the autumn leaves had begun to turn a shade of brown that only winter’s frost can bring.

Waiting longer than that for a faceless man you’d met on the internet seemed foolish, and so you were determined to move on.

You found a different app, more up to date, showing you other singles in the area who were looking to meet up.

Setting up a date with the first guy who matched with you seemed like a good idea at the time.

When you show up to the address of your dinner date, you realize it’s a more-sleazy-than-not type of place, and seemed like the perfect spot to have more intimate conversations than you were ready for. Especially on a first date.

Trusting your gut is something you’ve always had a hard time with.

Your date is named Nicolas, and though his profile seemed nice enough, he seems to have a problem with keeping his hands to himself.

Fingers found their way beneath the hem of your dress and inched far too high for your liking, several times.

Each time you denied his advances, he laughed as if it was a cute joke, and proceeded to do it again ten minutes later.

An hour and a half in, and it was taking everything in you not to slap him or cry.. or maybe even both.

The end of the date couldn’t come fast enough, and you were thankful you drove separately.

He walks you to your car, backing you against the drivers side and pressing his body to yours in a feeble attempt to seduce you. He seems to have no idea how repulsive you find him.

Claiming to feel ill manages to get you away from him without making mouth-to-mouth contact. When you’re out of the parking lot, tears fall freely from your eyes.

Once you’re in the safety of your apartment, skin scrubbed raw in the shower and wrapped in your smoothest, softest robe, you make a silent pact with yourself that the only men you need in your life are Ben & Jerry.

They’d never treat you this way, they’d merely mend the holes in your heart with chocolate and caramel goodness.

What more could you need?

Your hand is shaking and your eyes are puffy and bloodshot when you finally bring up your chat app on the computer. The one you’d met Sarge on.

You go to your account settings, finally ready to let go, to give up and deactivate your account.

You’d decided you were finally done.

Taking a few deep breaths, you bring the cursor of your mouse to rest over the DEACTIVATE button, fresh tears stinging the back of your eyes as you hesitate.

A silent prayer resounds in your mind as you let out one more shaky breath and prepare to finally click.

...but not before the familiar sound of a new IM comes through the speakers.

Your eyes are still closed from your moment of regaining composure, and you try to calm the erratic beating in your chest. It can’t be him. It can’t. Calm yourself.

When you open your eyes, tears flow over their edges and your jaw falls slack.

[Sarge1917]: Kitten…?

You’re convinced you’ve made this up, it’s some sort of hallucination. Moments ago, you silently told yourself that if it was meant to be, you’d be given some sort of sign, and now.. this?

Was it coincidence? Or interference from the divine?

You’re too trapped in your own mind to even consider replying right away.

[Sarge1917]: Please still be with me…

His words ring back to memories of your last conversation and you find your emotions fighting a battle between relief, joy, and anger.

[SpaceKitten]: I’m here, I just.. I’m in shock. Is it really you?

[Sarge1917]: Please forgive me. I didn’t know my trip would be extended and I had no way to let you know.

[Sarge1917]: I thought about you every day I was gone.

The familiar feeling of butterflies in your lower belly resurfaces, though you try your best to fight it.

[Sarge1917]: Kitten? You there?

You weren’t sure how it was even possible, but more tears fill your eyes as you type. Your fingers hit the keys harshly, not even bothering to fix the typos as you go.

[SpaceKitten]: You were gone. For so fucking long.

[SpaceKitten]: I started losing hope after week ten, but held out for you for 22 weeks.

[SpaceKitten]: you have no idea what that was like for me, Sarge. Wondering why you didn’t come back, when you swore you would.

[SpaceKitten]: Do you remember your last words to me, Sarge?

[SpaceKitten]: you said “please don’t forget me”

[SpaceKitten]: and I told you it’d be hard to remember anything else

[Sarge1917]: Kitten, please, let me explain

You’re too far into your rant to stop, it’s coming out involuntarily at this point.

[SpaceKitten]: I went on a date for the first time in two years tonight. And I promised myself I wouldn’t self sabotage, just because I couldn’t get you out of my head.

[SpaceKitten]: The date turned out to be shit anyway, but I can’t decide if it’s because I set myself up for it, or if it’s because all men are handsy, sex crazed idiots.

[SpaceKitten]: And all I could think when I got home was, “I bet Sarge would never have done this to me”, even though I have nothing for comparison because we’ve been nothing but ghosts to each other for nearly a year.

[Sarge1917]: Kitten.. I’m so sorry.

You have to cease your keyboard attack momentarily to fetch a tissue and clean up your face.

[Sarge1917]: Do you want me to leave you alone?

The question makes you scoff and shake your head, though you’re well aware he can’t see you.

[SpaceKitten]: That is literally the last thing I want…

Your eyes scan over the words you’d sent minutes ago, and you realize that while you feel you were in the right, you might’ve been a little harsh.

Guilt eats away at the lining of your stomach while you wait to see his reply.

[Sarge1917]: Can I call you..?

You’re stunned by the question. It was the first time such a thing had been brought up in all the time you’d been talking. You figured it was just because he was too anxious, or hated phone calls like so many people, including yourself.

[Sarge1917]: Hell, you can even call me. Block your number, I don’t care. I just want you to hear my voice when I say what I have to say. I need you to believe me, and if I can’t be there to say it to your face, this will have to do.

His next message contains an assortment of numbers, the ones you’d have to dial to finally accomplish something you’d only dreamed of for months.

Hearing his voice.

[Sarge1917]: Sleep won’t come easy for me tonight, so take your time, Kitten. I’ll be here when you’re ready.

Your phone is sitting on the edge of your desk, the blank screen taunting you as you look down at it. All you had to do was pick it up, dial the 10 digit number, open your mouth and force words out.

It sounded a lot easier than it was going to be.

What if you forgot how to speak?

What if he didn’t answer?

What if he does turn out to be a 77 year old trucker?

What if he’s a total creep, like you’ve been worrying about the whole time?

Somehow, you find the pros outweighing the cons. Your hands move of their own accord and pick up your phone, typing in each number with intent. You could do this.

The line rings once, twice, three times, before someone finally answers.

The voice on the other end of the call is warm, deep, and sounds like honey. Your insides melt at the sound.

“Kitten?”

TAGS: (sorry if you dont like being tagged, its been so long since i’ve posted idk who to tag anymore lolol. @mindingmyownbusiness @plumfondler @buckybarnesappreciationsociety @loricameback @tinaferraldo @geminimoonbeamx @preserumsteverogers @moderapoppins @lowkeysebby @buckyshattergirl @jayattemptstoruletheworld @the-observant-fangirl @moondancewrites @moonbeambucky @trinityjadec @stevieang @bionic-buckyb @eyecandybarnes @propertyofpoeandbucky @promarvelfangirl @ballyhoobarnes @bucky-plums-barnes @cate-lynne @witchymarvelspacecase @imaginingbucky @theimpossibleg1rl @babygurl8840 @wonderlandmind4 @buckysthing @formulafun @curvybihufflepuff

#bucky #Bucky Barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #wishing you were here..#sometimes i write #sebspocketsquare #chatroom fic #series

244 notes · View notes

alexanderlightweight · 5 years

Text

To Err

Thank you @thougtsofadyingatheist for the lovely prompt! This took far longer than it had a right too but I was very excited to write it, it took a little different turn than I expected and I hope you like it!!

Prompt: “At least you’ll die doing what you love; Walking into danger.”

“At least you’ll die doing what you love. Walking into danger.” Kyle griped as he finished cleaning out the deep laceration on Alex’s ribs.

The door to Isobel’s backyard, because since Max had died they’d started to use her home as a safe middle ground, slammed shut and Alex clenched his teeth. Not from pain but from knowing what was coming next. If Kyle hadn’t currently been stitching him up, he would have kicked him.

“What the hell happened?” Michael asked and the house gave a deceptively gentle tremor.

Kyle winced and mouthed a soft ‘sorry’ to Alex but apologies were useless now.

“A miscalculation,” Alex said at the same time that Kyle blurted out “shrapnel.”

There was one very long, incredulous moment of silence and Alex lost it, “what happened to doctor-patient confidentiality, Kyle?” And when both men gave him an equally unimpressed and unamused glare, added, “also it was miscalculated shrapnel. The point was to not have shrapnel, then I miscalculated.”

“What were you working on that a miscalculation meant shrapnel?” Liz asked, because of course Michael hadn’t been alone when he arrived and Alex was just about done with everything. In fact, he was making a vow of silence. Which meant that he wasn’t talking and since Kyle had already thrown him under the bus, he could return the favor and let the doctor fix this damage as well.

After Alex’s silence had stretched on for too long, Kyle neatly tied off his last stitch and removing his gloves, looked at the group.

“We’ve been going through the data that we managed to get from Caulfield,” he paused, a moment of respect for the lives lost that day, “and we’d found a few other possible locations. Our concern has been going in too-“ and Kyle paused. “The systems for Caulfield were archaic but with just enough new tech and coding that they were also very delicate. We’ve been working on reconstructing the self-destruct mechanisms. If we’re operating on the assumption that these other sites would similarly linked, we want to make sure we have ways of shutting them down.”

There was an unspoken vow that lingered between them all. That what had happened at Caulfield would not, could not, happen again.

“So you’ve been recreating the system with the purpose of figuring out all the fail-safes and how to shut them down?” Michael asked and his voice was tight, “and you didn’t think to, I don’t know. Ask any of the people with actual powers to help?”

“Your powers didn’t work in Caulfield, not like they were supposed to.” Alex said, breaking his self-imposed silence. “There was some kind of alloy all throughout the facility that I don’t have access too. They had enough time to figure out how to weaken your people and their gifts. Doing it this way made the most sense.”

“Right. Which is how that,” Michael gestured sardonically to Alex’s chest and never before had Alex wished more for a shirt, “happened.”

“As I said, I miscalculated.”

“Actually, you said it was unstable, waited until I was in the jeep and then attempted to-” Kyle paused from where he’d started packing up his medical kit, “nevermind. That part is completely unimportant. There’s no permanent damage and Alex hasn’t lost any more limbs.”

Alex rolled his eyes at Kyle’s smirk and added, “the good news is I figured out a way around the trigger point that caused this, so win-win.”

Michael wasn’t sure which part was worse. The fact that Alex and Valenti were still clearly spending a lot of time together, the fact that they were keeping everyone else in the dark while doing dangerous experiments, or the fact that they were at ease enough to have a mutual sense of morbid humor that flowed smoothly between them. To paraphrase Max who had no doubt been quoting someone else at the time, he found it ‘quite fucking irksome’.

“Right well, seeing as Isobel is almost here I’m going to get us something to drink while you finish cleaning that up,” Liz said, clearly sensing that Michael was near his breaking point. “Mikey, care to join me?”

He grunted a response, not even bothering to playfully snap back at the nickname. Inside Isobel’s kitchen he flung the fridge open, calling a beer to himself and opening it before it even reached his hand.

“You want to talk about it?” Liz asked softly, grabbing down both a bottle of tequila and acetone from the shelf. “You seemed pretty close to losing it out there with your powers, that’s not like you.”

Michael shrugged and accepted both of the shots she offered. “Long month, long damn year even longer fucking life. I definitely don’t want to talk about it.”

Michael would be the first to deny that he spent the rest of the evening in a mixture of glowering and sulking. Alex stuck to sipping a single beer for most of the night while Valenti actually deigned to relax and try to match Isobel for shots. Liz had been convinced to let loose for one night -a mental break from her desperate need to find a way to save Max- and was out with both Maria and Rosa. Somehow that had turned into him watching Isobel taunt Valenti into another shot while Alex laughed at them from the couch.

Meanwhile Michael was pacing himself, cutting his alcohol with acetone and ice and sipping on it. He needed to keep a clear head with Alex this close. It was hard not to go to him here, in a place they didn’t have to hide any of their history, seeing him soft with laughter and at the same time knowing he was hurt. Michael wanted to even out the past between them just enough so that they could finally stand without a chasm between them.

Instead, he had to watch as Valenti made inside jokes with Alex that Isobel quickly caught onto, had to watch them laugh and smile and see Alex lean into casual touches that Michael had once coveted. In another lifetime he’d have been filled with joy, knowing that Alex finally had people who would touch him without hurting him, instead Michael found himself yearning for even just another one of their long lost, stolen moments.

Instead, he had to make due with the way that every so often, their gaze would meet and Alex’s face would tighten as he hid away just enough emotion to make him unreadable.

Michael hated it.

It was both worse and better once Iz convinced Alex to take a few shots. He didn’t do many, but it was enough to leave him loose limbed and relaxed as he sunk into the armchair. It was also enough for Isobel to leave to her room. Michael had already been planning on staying in the guestroom Iz had designated for him or Max. Valenti was dozing on couch when Michael knelt next to the chair and reaching out, gently tapped Alex’s arm.

“Come on there Private, let’s get you to a bed before you fall asleep here.”

“I’m good,” Alex mumbled, bleary and uncoordinated as he reached for a crutch that wasn’t there and then groaning when he overextended his reach, arm going to cradle his side.

“Valenti was right, you are going to die doing what you love.” It came out a little harshly but Michael was just so tired of everyone he loved in pain.

“Oh, so your name is danger now?” Alex muttered haughtily, swaying slightly and oblivious to how Michael’s breath hitched at his admission.

“Alex,” Michael said softer than his previous accusation and Alex swayed again.

“I don’t,” he blinked, “I don’t think I should have taken Isobel up on those shots.” He slurred and then looked down at the floor, it was spinning. It took him a moment, Michael’s voice an unintelligible and white noise around him. “D-did Kyle drug me?” His voice raised in betrayed accusation and he let himself fall back against the couch.

“Actually Liz did before she left,” Michael said. “She did make sure they were safe to mix with alcohol.”

“I see who my true friends are,” Alex bit out and flopped his hand in Michael’s direction, “never thought I’d say that about Kyle. Not after high school.”

“Still can’t believe you forgave him,” Michael said and sighed when Alex didn’t answer, just blinked, “oh for, alright Private. This way, come on. Iz offered up her guestroom.”

“Not the army,” was muttered against his ear and Michael was thankful that Alex was too out of it to feel the way he shivered when they connected. Michael’s arm supported Alex as he led him to the room and helped him to bed.

“When are you going to stop walking headfirst into danger and not caring about how anyone else is going to feel about it?” Michael asked, keeping his voice soft enough that Alex’s brow furrowed in confusion. It was a surprise when Alex surged up, knocking their foreheads together none-too-gently. It surprised more than hurt Michael but Alex gave a wounded little, ‘ouch’ before flopping onto his side and burrowing his forehead against the soft pillow.

“What was that?”

“Headfirst into danger,” Alex mumbled into the linens, “night danger.”

As Alex drifted into whatever sleep he managed, he left Michael staring at him -healed hand pressed shakily to his chest as he tried to imagine if a future was possible for them.

“Well, that went better than it should have,” Kyle admitted the next morning as they left Isobel’s. He still felt off and it was only due to years of working on far too little sleep that he’d managed to pull himself together, that and blessed electrolytes.

“Speak for yourself,” Alex said with a side-glare as he pulled out his tablet.

“Oh, you mean your little confession? I’d say Guerin looked star-struck, but that could have also been the result of whatever minor concussion you gave him.”

“And to think, I told Michael you were the only friend I could trust.” Alex was teasing, Kyle knew that but he took a moment at the stop sign to look over at his friend.

“As someone you trust, you’re sure you want to go through with this?” Kyle asked and shook his head when Alex turned with a little smirk, “don’t deflect this onto me. I’ll be fine whatever the outcome but you saw how upset he was about you being hurt. If this goes wrong, how do you think he’ll react?”

Alex stayed silent for a moment, long enough that Kyle had to start driving again.

“I think,” Alex sighed, “I know- that Michael would want to come with us, again. That Isobel and and Liz and possibly even Rosa and Maria would get involved. I also know that they’re civilians. All the alien powers in the world mean nothing if they can’t stay calm and work under pressure. It’s not a risk we can afford to take.”

“I hate that you’re right.”

#roswell new mexico #Roswell NM #malex #malex fic #prompt fills #alex manes #michael guerin #kyle valenti #liz ortecho #isobel evans #writing #my fic #fanfic #emotions happen #internally that is #fanfiction #roswell nm fic #Kyle keeps randomly inserting himself into my fics #he just wants to be there for Alex apparently

126 notes · View notes

astyle-alex · 4 years

Text

Stepping Stones | Because a Bit.ly would a bit too crass...

If you came here from a link looking for my full body or work, or any particular piece of it, that can now be found somewhere around HERE -ish (https://www.patreon.com/Astyle_Alex). My audience on Ao3 has grown enough to make openly linking to Patreon a dire offense and therefore I can no longer link to specific pages at the end of chapters for ease of navigation.

Yes, I admit the title of this post is a bit tongue in cheek, but it’s hard not to be offended by finding out I’ve been called shameless and selfish at 4am when I have a Mid-Term to focus on before I have to go to my soul-sucking, low-paying place of work...

My posts on Patreon are more consistent and timely than on Ao3 for any number of reasons, chief among them that I can make a queue in the limited hours I have available for writing and posting. That means that they frequently wind up being slightly ahead of the posting schedule on Ao3.

Like the Batman fic I’m currently publishing is now two full posts ahead of Ao3 on Patreon and that is unlikely to change. At least one of those ahead chapters is already available for free public viewing. A link to the running tag for the story’s posts can be found here.

I highly recommend you check out what I’m working on right now:

October 2020 Schedule.

Project Masterlist.

Otherwise, enjoy a rant below the read-line on how outmoded legal stipulations are causing the free netspace to preemptively bow to our corporate overlords which essentially results in nothing but a rather pitiable self-oppression.

Personally, I feel that the Ao3 ban on linking to Patreon is an outmoded guideline, particularly as Ao3 is no longer a tiny little platform with no clout to weigh in with. This preemptive bowing to corporate whim is not a sign of the truly free netspace I would like to see defended, particularly as all the porn on Ao3 puts the site in a MUCH more precarious legal position as personal defamation and work-integrity degradation come into play--and a lawsuit on that front would have far reaching consequences for the concept of fanfiction altogether. Porn does far more to delegitimize the fanfic pseudo-industry than a link to personal accounts ever could. Additionally, all the 'commission' work is also very precarious, legally speaking, far more so than a link to a creator profile (particularly as the mere use of the word commission insinuates that the work was embarked upon for reasons other than pure joy, it becomes exceedingly murky water to navigate for a legal defense).

Patreon is a platform designed to allow fans of creators to support the entire body of work produced by those creators. And my body of work includes far more than simply fanfiction.

A link to Patreon is not wrong, morally, by any creed. I'm not demanding you pay me to read the end of a story, I'm not instituting a paywall of any sort. It's an opportunity for people to support my full body of work, if they would like to, while also exposing interested readers to said full body of work. There are plenty of aspects to my patreon that are not hidden from open public view. You don't have to pay or even be a member with an account to access the site. There is nothing about it that is in any way exploitative or aggressing in nature. Paid or favor-traded commission fan-work is wrong, but that is not what I have done here. I have never taken a commission of any kind.

If Ao3's lawyers were to actually take a legitimate look at the potential consequences of such things, and to examine how other platforms have handled the increasing need to create broader options for fan-support of favored creators, I feel they would advise the Patreon ban be removed. I also feel they would add a direct messaging system of some sort, but that's a separate, though still legally relevant, issue.

And yet, I am not so tone deaf that I would ignore a majority outcry, and therefore have created this post as an explicit stepping stone between Ao3 and Patreon. I am strapped for cash, not a Dickensian villain, majority rule does matter to me. So, while I firmly believe it is not wrong to post links to Patreon, I can cede with grace and move my links to a stepping stone post.

#Patreon #Ao3 #net neutrality #capitalist hell #corporate overlords #it's 4am on a mid-terms day and I do not have time or patience for petty self-righteous fools

1 note · View note

aceonice · 4 years

Note

Hello, I've never done that before, but I would like to give you a prompt from the list: 22. Space AU + 18. Circus AU with Magnus Bane, Ragnor, Cat, Raphael and others of Magnus found family. I wouldn't say no to Malec either. But I like the focus on family and friendships. Uhm. I hope I did this right. I don't have a Tumblr site, but I'm Sashy on ao3.. Any way. Have a good day/night.

Sorry this took a while, but I’m so slow with prompts oops. Anyways, enjoy “Space Circus On Edom (Surprisingly It's Not A Crack Fic)” below or read on AO3.

When Magnus finds Camille cheating on him, he does what he does best. He runs.

He doesn’t know where he’s going when he storms out of the apartment, his stuff thrown haphazardly into a duffle bag, but he knows he can’t stay there any longer. He’s considering buying the first flight he can find out of New Manchester when he stumbles across a worn poster. It’s torn at the edges and stained from rain, but the words are still bright, if slightly blurred, and it catches Magnus’ attention.

Got An Interesting Talent?

Audition for the Space Circus!

Competitive salary with free room and board.

Experiences you won’t find anywhere else!

Call the number below for more information.

Magnus has never been to space despite his continuous travels. At twenty-three he’s seen almost every part of the earth, but something (usually money) always kept him from the space cruises.

Now he pauses, runs a finger along the poster, feeling the torn edges and wondering if they’re still looking for performers.

He’s not sure anywhere is far enough away from Camille, but space is probably his best bet. He programs the number into his phone and makes the call.

A day later Magnus takes the bullet train to Old London to audition. The entirety of his belongings, nothing more than the duffle bag he’d packed when he left the apartment. He knows that even if he doesn’t get into the Space Circus, he’s not going back. There’s nothing left for him in New Manchester.

But he does get in. The interviewers, long-time performers and high-ups in the lucrative industry, appreciate his ability to throw flaming batons while dancing around the room to an upbeat song, not missing a step.

He’d never put his talents together in that way, but he’d picked up juggling when he was twelve and living in New New York, an entirely man-made island built over where the state had sunk into the sea nearly a century ago. Then, at fifteen, he’d joined a dancing group for a year while visiting Spain. He’d continued learning on his own ever since.

A week of practice was all it took for him to put together a routine impressive enough to get him a place in the circus aboard the Edom Spacecraft. It makes him wonder if they’re truly desperate of if he’s more talented than he believed, and he chooses to think it’s a combination of the two.

It only took another day after auditions before Magnus had signed all of the paperwork and read all about Edom. It was one of the most popular space crafts in the Space Circus industry. Edom was one of the many crafts that provided entertainment filled cruises to the moon and back, each trip lasting five weeks in totality. Magnus would be preforming five days a week for four weeks out of the cruise with the rest of the circus, having two days off as well as the week for which they were on the moon.

It’s a surreal experience being loaded into a pod ship with another new recruit, the pod set on an automatic course for Edom. They’re joining a week late, the craft already a week into its route the moon, but the hiring managers had been desperate for more performers. Something about someone getting horribly motion sick and having to leave, throwing the circus into disarray.

Magnus takes a moment to study the inky blackness of space as they cross out of Earth’s atmosphere, the stars sparkling in the distance, the planet getting gradually smaller below them. He thinks perhaps he should feel sad to leave it behind, all of the people on earth, all of the places he’s been, all of the memories he’s made. He mostly feels excited and a little nervous. There will be people on Edom- only around three thousand compared to earth’s nine million- and there will be chances to make new memories. He thinks he might miss the greenery, the plant life and the scenery, but it’s been replaced with the sight of space and he can’t find himself to be disappointed in that.

There was never much keeping him on earth anyways. The thought itself makes him a bit sad so, rather than focusing on that, Magnus turns to the man beside him.

He looks barely old enough for space travel, meaning he’s at least seventeen. His hair is cropped short and his lips are pursed tightly together. He could be a statue for how much he moves.

Magnus sticks out a hand, the black polish on his nails chipped away from the fresh application he’d done before the audition. “Magnus Bane.”

The kid studies him for a moment with a cool gaze before reluctantly shaking the proffered hand, his grip solid. “Raphael Santiago.”

He has a slight Spanish accent that Magnus picks up on. “What’s your act?”

A hint of a smirk crosses Raphael’s lips. “I’m a knife thrower.”

Magnus raises an eyebrow. “Are you good?”

“I haven’t killed anyone yet,” Raphael says dryly. “What do you do?”

“I dance and throw fire.” Which, now that Magnus thinks about it, is probably the coolest profession he’s ever had. And it’s in space. It’ll certainly diversify his already staggered résumé.

Raphael glances at his hands. “Have you ever burnt yourself?”

Magnus snorts at the question, turning his hands over to show his palms. A scar crosses the palm of his right hand, but they’re free of burns. “I use cold fire, just in case. It’s safer.”

“Boring,” Raphael mutters, but there’s a spark in his eye that suggests he’s interested.

They make easy conversation the rest of the ride, blatantly avoiding any talk of their pasts. It becomes abundantly clear to Magnus that he’s not the only one running away from something.

When their pod lands in the hangar of the spacecraft, a woman with dark skin a kind smile greets them at the entrance. “Hi, welcome to Edom! I’m Catarina, but everyone calls me Cat. I’ll be working with you in the circus. I’m supposed to show you to your rooms and then to the dining hall so you can get acquainted with everyone. Actual training won’t start till tomorrow.”

She shakes Raphael’s hand and then Magnus’ as they introduce themselves. She hands them each a packet. “It has a map of the craft, the keys to your rooms and the staff hallways, and some additional information.”

She leads them down the hall, “It looks complicated at first, but you get the hang of it pretty fast. This is one of the main halls.” Magnus takes in every bit of it, admiring the long window that seems to run along the entire side of the ship, displaying the star-speckled sky. He can make out the moon in the distance. “They told me you’re a knife thrower. And Magnus, I heard you’re a fire baton-twirler.”

“That sounds correct,” Magnus says, refocusing on the woman leading them, “though I’ve never heard it called that. What do you do?”

Catarina grins back at him, dark eyes alight with joy. “You probably noticed the craft is gravity controlled?”

“I imagine people would be less interested in circus stunts if gravity wasn’t an issue,” Magnus muses.

She nods as she swipes her keycard over a lock and pulls open a heavy silver door. The hall behind it is all one shade of gray and Magnus has to assume it’s one of the staff halls. “Exactly. Even more so for aerial acts.”

“You do aerial?”

“Silks and trapeze,” she confirms with a bit of a smile. “I’m starting to learn lyra now.”

Magnus doesn’t know what most of those words mean but he nods along as if he does before asking, “How long have you been here?”

A flicker of a shadow pass over Catarina’s face and her next words are spoken softly, “Almost two years. And now? I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Literally, I guess. But we’re here! Raphael, this is your room. Magnus, yours is the one across the hall.” She pointed to the corresponding doors. “You can leave your things here and we’ll head for the dining hall.”

Magnus took the time to set his single duffle bag on the bed in the center of the room. The bedroom isn’t large by any means, but it’s comfortable looking. It’s all shades of gray, remarkably similar to the hall but there’s a large window against the wall that shows the space unfolding around the ship. The bed is soft enough and there’s a dresser and a nightstand with a lamp. Magnus thinks it will make a decent living space.

“I know it’s not much,” Catarina says from the door. “But we get free meals and access to all ship activities as well.”

“It’s fine,” Magnus says as he joins her in the hall. Raphael is there as well, leaning against his door. “Not the worst place I’ve lived.”

“Seconded,” Raphael mutters, running a hand through his hair.

Catarina nods like she understands too well. Magnus supposes people with nice upbringings don’t run off to join the space circus. “Let’s get to the dining hall. I’ll introduce you to some more of the circus members.”

The dining hall is extravagant and filled to the brim. Soft, upbeat music plays over the speakers but it’s barely audible under the drone of conversation. Most of the occupants look like they make more in a day than Magnus has made in his entire life. They’re dressed in extravagant fashions, their hair styled perfectly. Although, some of them are wearing swimsuits and appear to be damp which makes Magnus wonder if the ship has a pool. He’s sure they’re all paying guests. People rich enough to afford space cruises.

There are several options for food which Catarina points out, informing them which booth has what kind of food. “You can get anything you want, but let me introduce you first.”

She leads them through the throngs of people to a table occupied by a large group. To Magnus’ relief, most of them are dressed fairly casually like himself. They don’t appear to be overly concerned with their looks. Catarina stops at the head of it and taps the man sitting closest on the shoulder. “Ragnor, this is Magnus and Raphael, they’re the new recruits.”

Ragnor studies them with a stone expression before nodding. When he speaks it’s with a distinctly British accent. “Welcome to Edom. Has Cat told you how the dining hall works?” He stands and places a kiss to Catarina’s cheek.

“Of course I did. I just wanted to bring them over before they got food.”

With introductions out of the way, Magnus splits off from Catarina and Raphael to get Asian food while they head for the Italian booth. Ragnor accompanies Magnus, explaining that while the circus is technically run by a highly paid official in charge of the entertainment on Edom it’s handled mostly by him and Catarina for all intents and purposes.

“I’ve been here five years,” Ragnor says as they fill their trays with a selection of mouth-watering food. “Best years of my life.”

“Catarina said something similar,” Magnus remembers “You really enjoy it?”

Ragnor nods. “There wasn’t much left on Earth for me. These people have become my family. You’ll understand soon.”

Family. Magnus hasn’t had anyone to associate with the word in longer than he cares to think about. It causes a pang of longing in his chest.

“Of course, there’s nothing wrong with not being invested in the circus outside of training hours, you’re free to enjoy the craft and mingle with the cruise-goers, many people do. But a lot of us also tend to stick together, look out for each other. We’re the ones that are still here cruise after cruise.”

The idea of having someone, multiple people even, who will look out for him feels foreign. He’s always looked out for those around him, the girls and boys he’d dated, but rarely did they return the favor. He desperately hoped what Ragnor was saying was true. “And what’s your act?”

“I help with a bit of everything, but my most interesting act is aerial stunts. Catarina and I do a few routines together.”

“I look forward to seeing that.”

“Everyone is fun to watch,” Ragnor says dismissively as they make their way back to the table, curving around the groups of people. “But you get used to it.”

Magnus blinks. “To being around ridiculously talented people?”

Ragnor smirks back at him, “To being around freaks. Oh, don’t look so offended, we’ve all made peace with it. I recommend you do the same- you'll be a lot happier here.”

He quietly sits down, contemplating Ragnor’s words. He supposes he’s never been normal , what could it hurt to try on another label? Everyone did seem to be happy with their uniqueness.

His first day of training is almost overwhelming. It goes by in a blur of names and faces and helping the others with their acts. Cat helps him with his dance, figuring out the parameters of it on the stage they’ll be using. He has to change a few steps, but it remains largely the same.

Somewhere near the end of practice Magnus finds himself watching Raphael practice, throwing knives at a spinning board around the cutout of a human body. His aim is perfect, each blade embedding into the board only an inch from the cutout.

“Wow! You know this is my least favorite act to participate in, but at least it looks like you won’t be accidentally slicing me up!”

Magnus and Raphael turn at the sound of a new voice. Simon, one of the other members he’d been introduced to earlier, is at Raphael’s side. He looks less like a circus performer and more like an accountant in Magnus’ opinion. Then again, none of them really look how he imagined circus performers would. Certainly none of them wear clown makeup- thank goodness.

“Only if you get on my nerves,” Raphael says in a way that Magnus thinks is sarcastic, but he doesn’t know Raphael well enough to be sure.

Simon holds up his hands in a gesture of surrender. “Message received! Want to practice with a real body?”

Raphael nods and Magnus watches as he removes the cutout, helping Simon onto the board, latching the holds in place.

Magnus feels his stomach twist in sympathy when the board begins to turn. He can’t imagine it’s fun to be up there. Still, Simon looks relatively calm. Raphael’s face is scrunched in careful concentration as the board begins its second rotation.

Then Raphael lifts his hand and throws five blades in rapid succession. They land on either side of Simon’s head, one under each armpit, the last between his legs. Raphael goes to stop the board’s spinning while Magnus whistles lowly. “Impressive.”

“That’s always terrifying,” Simon mutters as he hops down. “But I’m unscathed so not bad.”

“Magnus!” Ragnor calls out for him. Magnus turns and sees him standing beside a lithe brunette. Ragnor waves him over. “Help me hold this.”

It’s a pole, long enough that when he picks up the other side, it puts a difference of at least fifteen feet between him and Ragnor.

“Don’t drop it,” the brunette warns before climbing onto it and standing precariously on the thin bit of metal. She doesn’t weigh enough to make it truly heavy, but Magnus steadies his posture to ensure he won’t drop it. He’d hate to send a fellow performer to the medics on his first day.

“Lift it to your chest,” Ragnor calls. Together they lift the pole. The brunette barely moves despite the change. Magnus watches as she takes several easy steps before jumping into a front flip, grabbing the pole with her hands to spin around it before righting herself.

“Dot, watch your posture,” Catarina instructs as she comes to stand by Magnus’ side. Dot nods in response, clearly focusing on her routine and balance, before jumping into a cartwheel. Catarina turns to Magnus. “How’s your first day going so far?”

Magnus doesn’t take his eyes off Dot, carefully holding the pole as still as possible. “Everyone is amazing to watch.”

“Years of training. You’re not so bad yourself,” Catarina says, patting him on the shoulder. “If you can help out with Dot’s act regularly, we’d really appreciate it.”

“Of course, I’ll help however I can.”

“Great, thanks. Let me know if you need anything.” She moves away as Dot jumps off the bar, doing a backflip before landing on the floor.

Magnus lowers the pole as she makes her way to him. She looks friendlier than when she had first approached him. “Thanks for not dropping me.”

“Of course.”

“You’re the new guy, right? Magnus or Raphael?”

He holds out a hand. “Magnus.”

Dot shakes it, looking him over, “I think you’ll fit in well here.”

He wonders if she’s calling him a freak, but he looks over the performers, takes in the smiles and looks of concentration and thinks being a freak might not be so bad if it comes with friends.

#my writing #sh fanfic #found family trope

3 notes · View notes

prorevenge · 5 years

Text

The Mean Girls club gets destroyed

So a while back I had the joy of stopping around 5 girls who had been openly using and abusing people. Most of them ended up losing partners and almost all their friends one lost their job two went to jail and they all lost their social status.

So context, years ago I worked in a large corporate store, trust me you would know if I told you the name. Now during this time I was in a dark place emotionally for various reasons and was very much a loaner which led to me being a target for this one girl (let’s call her CS for cos-play slut) now I know it sounds terrible me calling her that but really it’s what she was and trust me as this story goes on you’ll see why.

Now she quickly befriends me and gets me to help with video editing and photo shots I say yes as at the time I was trying to get into content creation and figured it’d help and I was a very lonely depressed virgin at the time and any girl showing interest in me made my brain go crazy. Looking back I kick myself for letting her use me that way but I was stupid and didn’t know better. This girl used me for everything from making me edit videos for her and her friends totaling around 3 or 4 videos a day all with different styles and length to getting up early to help with shoots that had to be done at sun up to get “the magic hour”. (I know it’s a real thing but still not the best thing to spend your day doing when your days off are spent making videos)

As well as using my help for her online stuff she used me for a lot of other things rides to her “meetings” with potential photographers (she never picked her them she was just sleeping with them) to buying her movie tickets that’d she would go to claim being alone with me in a theatre made her nervous so I’d have to wait outside for then I’d have to buy her food on a daily basis at work then if we ever did anything outside of it.

Now I know this sounds like I was the worlds biggest cuck and yeah I was. I had no self confidence as previously stated was a virgin with very little ability to socialize and never learned to choose how and when to give my help. So I was an easy target for all this, my parents tried to warn me against it but i didn’t listen and even at one point told her I liked her only for her to laugh in my face.

This went on for months in that time I quit content creation but was still editing her videos and was always doing something for her. One day while she was having me buy her supplies for another cosplay we ran into another girl whom we will call RB (random bitch) she was nice enough very energetic at first and I felt like we could get along so we exchanged info and became friends on fb. Afterwards CS told me how she was in a relationship and not to try and hit on her not even talk to her because I gave off a “creeper” vibe.

I only mention that interaction before this next one because it is chronological and because it was the first time I can ever trace back to the two of them working together against me. So after that CS starts going after another guy not gonna give him a special name but let’s just say he was terrible I mean really bad. Him and CS meet up once bang them he tells her all these lies about emotional damage and how they have to keep things a secret but still wants to be together. She believes him but he ghosts her she gets worried and has me look into from my end with an old friend. Now here two things happen that to this day I’m happy happened because it let me later on get my revenge the first was I created a second fb account pretending to be a girl the next was CS gave me full access to her fb.

Now like I said this dude was bad news he was cheating on her didn’t even need to catfish him just sent him a friend request and got dp back. Then I learned from some friends he did this serially and then ran across a girl who after I asked her about him responded “that’s the man that raped me don’t contact me again.”

I gathered all this evidence and brought it to CS and she flat out refused to believe it was real claiming I had faked it and was just jealous of him and that she and I were never going to be friends again. I said ok and we stopped being friends.

Now then that was my interaction with CS, after we broke off our friendship I started messaging RB and we became friends little did I know the real story behind them. I’ll be quicker with this than with RB but to put it lightly she was worse she would constantly have me just give her money and buy her things like expensive things. I never felt like I could say no because if I did she would give a sob story about her sad childhood and me being a bleeding heart would cave.

This went on for two years during which time I got a lot better more self confident and a better all around person but i always would go back to my sad self when she would belittle me. Finally I had had enough I told her to stop messaging me and we weren’t friends anymore. She took it hard dragging my name thru the mud at the end of it I had one friend left.

Skip ahead two months and I’m feeling way better I’m smiling more often no longer wanna take my own life and am feeling great. But I was still upset about everything that had happened but couldn’t do anything that was until I got bored one day and was looking thru my phone and saw something interesting. CS’s account was still logged into my phone a second profile. On a lark I tried opening it it let me she hadn’t changed her password and had given it permission to just sign in.

I thought I was just gonna have a weird voyeuristic look into her life but what I found was even worse a fb group that was literally called “Mean Girls Club” in it I found 5 girls including RB and CS all talking about what they were getting guys to buy them and do for them. It was horrid to look at I scrolled up and up and up all the way to the first message and it went back years. I don’t know how but these 5 had been doing it for so long it was crazy.

It was then I started to form a plan. The first thing I did was screen shot everything and when I mean everything I mean I had thousands of pictures from this including but not limited to pictures of stuff they had bought or had bought for them. Nudes of their partners or of people they were interested in and then the biggest one a shared drop box folder filled with pictures and videos of them doing a lot of nasty stuff I mean really bad. Apparently this whole thing was set up so that none of them could stop nor back down at anytime due to the blackmail Dropbox and the fact the rest of the group would back the others.

I know this is crazy to understand but let me put it this way from what I gathered to OG group was a total of 8 girls and 1 guy the numbers that left all were told they would be ruined and boy was it bad. I read about them making some of the people leaving lose their jobs and families falsely accusing the one guy of rape of which if what they said was true he was forced to move to another state because of the rumors.

On top of that they ruined a local store making them go out of business and then getting another guy thrown in jail after they accused him of attacking one of them. I can list plenty of what they did that was bad but mostly all of it was them bragging about guys they were using for stuff and money and what they could get them to buy them. I of course was on there as was everything I ever bought them totaling around 5500 over two years. The two of them CS and RB were so proud of what they did.

I was astonished by what had happened and was honestly very hurt by it all I knew they were bitches but nothing of this level. So I did what anybody would do I turned them against each other. The first thing I did was use my fake profile to enter into the group chat under the guise of a friend of CS’s. Took some time and creative use of the two profiles but I did it then moved onto insight some war by messaging each of them about the others of the course of a month I had them all suspicious of each other with some he said she said then I struck with one reveal.

I sent RB’s bf a message from CS’S profile in sighting them to openly flirt then took a step back and told RB about it. All the while with my fake profile I told CS that RB wanted to burn her by sending out her blackmail then I messaged the rest relaying info on the upcoming conflict telling them to prepare to burn another person if someone else struck (think start of world war 1 but with 20 something girls). 3 hours was all it took from went that past message went out to the first “bomb” fell. It was glorious each one destroying the other telling significant others about lies cheating and theft. Jobs being called about misuse of company property and inappropriate behavior in the work place. Full on sex tapes were posted to tons of porn sites.

It was three months later that the dust cleared everyone but CS had deleted their social media accounts. It was then that CS started in on my fake account demanding for some form a of repayment stating she had never added me to the the group and that no one had had any dirt on me so I was unscathed. I responded with “Well let’s just say I’m a bitch, the names Karma.”

I deleted the profile and lost the login info for CS. I keep the Dropbox stuff though and screenshots since I’m sure if they ever put two and two together they could guess who I was. But now a full year later nothing.

I’ve not been able to know more then the basic repercussions of this sense I didn’t know the other three personally but RB ended up homeless for a few months before going to jail sense some of the blackmail was a video of her doing drugs while skipping a court date about drug use (she openly stated in the video the date and that the courts could suck it and told them later she was helping a friend go thru some hard time to get an extension) jail due to her breaking parole and lying to a judge. CS lost her day job and all but around 30 of over 5k followers as well as her bf who she was cheating on then he back up bf since she was cheating on him with another guy who was just in it for the sex. Last I heard she moved back in with her parents and can’t keep a job due to her running into people who know what happened.

TL:DR Got emotionally and financially used by two girls and then made their mean girl chat destroy each other’s lives.

PS if rslash is reading this hope you know you inspired me to share this because your vids are amazing.

(source) story by (/u/notmine1337)

#prorevenge #by /u/notmine1337 #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

274 notes · View notes

careykelly-blog1 · 4 years

Text

javelin male enhancement

javelin male enhancement the previous 10 years, normal home grown enhancements have reliably been picking up ubiquity since a huge number of individuals are experiencing different kinds of sexual issues. Another explanation is that pharmaceutical items like Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis are not powerful for some men who have attempted them. It likewise has symptoms and can harm some of organs of the body. Clinical remedy improvement pills and enhancements have zero impacts and many reactions that convinced a great many the individuals to change to natural men upgrade items like Javelin Male Enhancement. These home grown pills are exceptionally successful and furthermore don't have any kind of negative effect.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>https://sites.google.com/site/javelinmaleenhancement/

Since, each fixing accessible in Javelin Male Enhancement is natural that adequately upgrade sexual drive of men, treat ED, untimely discharge and low execution on the bed that made this pill famous and ideal items. This male upgrade supplement is produced by Albion Medical which has sold in excess of ten millions jug of Plus. It announces itself as progressively viable enhancement for men and numerous audits and inputs that we have gotten state that this male sex sponsor is extremely powerful and helpful.

https://www.beauty4media.com/javelin-male-enhancement/

Numerous individuals are as yet wary about its impact since there are number of uncertified organizations are assembling and selling unauthenticated sexual upgrade pills for the sake of Javelin Male Enhancement that can upset ordinary Javelin Male Enhancement working of body. Natural sexual pill contains helpful and the freshest fixing that put on the whole in right extent for building solid and secure detailing which is able enough to address a wide range of sexual ailments like ED, untimely discharge and low execution on the bed.

javelin male enhancement Sexual Improvement Pills

javelin male enhancement individuals are as yet suspicious about its impact since there are number of uncertified organizations are assembling and selling unauthenticated sexual upgrade pills for the sake of Javelin Male Enhancement that can upset typical working of body. Home Javelin Male Enhancement grown sexual improvement pill contains helpful and the freshest fixing that put on the whole in right extent for building solid and secure plan which is sufficiently proficient to address a wide range of sexual ailments like ED, untimely discharge and low execution on the bed.. Interestingly, Herbal sexual improvement pills are effortless, protected, viable and furthermore moderate for all area of society.

javelin male enhancement is an improved and propelled equation basically detailed utilizing natural parts to give greatest outcomes. Exceptionally powerful and valuable natural men sexual improvement pill has Bioperin, which securely builds the ingestion paces of supplements that it is joined with. This blend further aides in upgrading sexual drive and give most extreme hardness in your penile device that makes your sexual life more joyful and lovely.

The possibility that it is just men who experience the ill effects of sexual issues is a fantasy. The two people, who are lawfully and organically prepared for sex, endure various types of sexual related issues. While men experience the ill effects of the most widely recognized sexual issue known as erectile brokenness, ladies likewise have a lot of sexual sufferings. Erectile brokenness for men is the failure to have a firm erection sufficiently long to complete sex. As a rule, some even experience the ill effects of feebleness and not experience sexual joy by any stretch of the imagination. Concerning ladies, they likewise have their own types of avelin Male Enhancement brokenness. The most widely recognized ones are the absence of want, the absence of excitement, and the failure to arrive at a climax. There have additionally been various encounters where in certain ladies experience the ill effects of oil issues while some have winding down sexual wants. There are numerous reasons why ladies everywhere throughout the world experience the ill effects of these conditions. Many see the arrangement as quick acting sex pills for ladies

javelin male enhancement sexual capacity and vitality that they need.

Having a hazardous sexual life doesn't need to keep going forever. With the advancement and logical disclosures of humankind, we have created various techniques and items that intend to take care of such issues in ladies. Quick acting javelin male enhancement sexual pills for ladies, together with different items, have turned out in the market globally, so as to furnish ladies with the sexual capacity and vitality that they need.

While men have oral drug for their erectile dysfunctions, there are quick acting sexual pills for ladies which tackle all the sexual dysfunctions experienced. Some of them come as pharmaceutical and some as home grown. In any case, a large number of them are effectively available on the web and disconnected. Drug stores and shops offer them at moderate costs. On the web, such items are likewise open. These quick acting sexual pills for ladies have been created by wellbeing experts as a response to the expanding interest for sex improving items.

>>>>>>>>>>>https://sites.google.com/site/javelinmaleenhancement/

Such quick acting sexual pills for ladies have discovered its way in a wide range of nations. Numerous ladies from everywhere throughout the world are finding the marvels of such clinical advancement. In the previous years, ladies have Javelin Male Enhancement consistently been auxiliary with regards to keeping their feet forward in sexual issues. Many don't discuss their sexual issues, substantially more making approaches to fix them. Throughout the years, numerous ladies simply endure quietly and attempt to dismiss their physical and sexual wants. They made a decent attempt to stifle those common inclination basically on the grounds that they don't have the way to look for clinical exhortation and meds which can help.

javelin male enhancement

Accomplish Sexual Delight And Fulfillment

Nowadays, an ever increasing number of ladies are really making cognizant strides in making approaches to accomplish sexual delight and fulfillment. The improvement of quick acting sexual pills for ladies demonstrates this point. Ladies everywhere throughout the world are doing clear activity to confront their sexual issues and leave sexual failure to history. No longer do ladies feel as though the subject of sex and physical delight as forbidden or as simply subjects of men. There is wide acknowledgment that determining the delights and capacity of a functioning sexual coexistence is something that ought to be accomplished by the individuals who need it.

Erection Dysfunction (ED) is a major issue for men today. Almost certainly one of the most significant contributing variable is the feeling of Adulterated and Counterfeit Male Enhancement anxiety men face today when contrasted with the days of yore. Different elements could be the handled nourishments that we devour which surely effectsly affect our wellbeing.

Albeit solution ED medications can treat ED in most men, this alternative conveys with it awful wellbeing impacts. It isn't the ‎Penis reduction motivation behind this article to talk about these negative symptoms do the trick to state that a few men just can't chance their lifes on it.

So for this gathering of men, the conspicuous option is to go for home grown sex pills for men. What are these pills and for what reason would it Javelin Male Enhancement be advisable for you to try and think about them? These home grown options in contrast to doctor prescribed medications are essentially supplements made of male Spanish fly herbs that are known for quite a long time in customary medication to be viable in treating erectile issues, in addition to other things.

What are the upsides of utilizing a home grown sex pill when javelin male enhancement ?

1. The greatest bit of leeway is that home grown sex pills 100% characteristic and liberated from negative reactions. You don't need to stress over getting a coronary failure throughout sex, for example.

2. These pills have longer term benefits for ‎Peyronie's disease your general sexual wellbeing. This remember useful impacts for your prostate. The prostate, as you most likely know, is a significant male sexual organ answerable for the creation of semen. An undesirable prostate can cause loads of issues for a man in later life so it is essential to deal with it.

3. Home grown sexual pills can expand your semen volume and sperm tally. ED medications can never give you this advantage. For what reason is a greater semen volume significant? The explanation is that with a greater burden, you will have the option to appreciate increasingly serious and longer enduring climaxes. Your accomplice will likewise like it, no uncertainty.

4. A home grown sex pill can assist you with enduring longer in bed. A portion of the fixings in such pills have the impact of easing back your climaxes and furthermore to reinforce your erections. This will be unquestionably be of acceptable use to you in the room.

5. You don't need to look for a doctor's assent when you are needing assistance in the room. Such home grown pills are made of just FDA affirmed home grown fixings so no specialist's support is vital.

https://www.beauty4media.com/javelin-male-enhancement/

1 note · View note

saxxxology · 6 years

Text

THE CURSED - Ch.14

Being an English Princess in 1739 is everything for Y/N, a Princess from a prosperous, powerful kingdom, to be happy about… until her parents arrange for her to marry a Prince from a nearby kingdom against her wishes. Unable to join her on her journey, the Royal family hires the Winchesters, two experienced Rangers, to guide her. However, the Princess and the younger brother begin to display affection for each other, and when her heat threatens her life, Sam makes a possibly deadly decision to save it.

PAIRING: Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader

WORD COUNT: ~2500

OVERALL WARNINGS: a/b/o dynamics (heat/rut, claiming, knotting), age gap, smut of varying levels, descriptions of injury and gore, a tad of dub-con and 18th-century sexism from time to time, occasional bits of angst, fighting, and violence, eventual minor character death

NOTE: Edited by @crispychrissy and @quiddy-writes - please heed all warnings! Please keep in mind that this series is set in the 18th century - society is not what it is today. I do not control where your eyes go; if you feel disturbed or think something may trigger you, it is your responsibility to either stop reading or scroll past.

Buy Sam’s scent from my Etsy shop

Access the entire series early on Patreon for just $3

Series Masterlist

THIS WORK IS 18+ ONLY. DO NOT REPOST MY WORK ON ANY OTHER SITES.

“Sam…”

Y/N was shivering in the washtub, up to her shoulders in cool water. It was morning now, and her fever was just as bad as it had been for the last several hours. Sam was perched on a chair by her side, letting his fingers trace through the water. It had been almost two days since Sam had bitten her, and the constant, burning cramps that had been wracking her entire body were beginning to fade.

“Yes, love?” He sat up straighter, ready to fetch her anything she wanted.

“Water.”

Sam nodded and stood to fetch her a mug of cold water, which she quickly drank down. He took the cup from her and ran his hand over her hair, watching as her eyelids fluttered when he touched her.

Neither of them had slept well. The pain had been manageable for the first morning, but in the late afternoon, the flu-like ache that swamped Y/N’s boy gave over the burning fire that ate at every inch of her body. This was the first time she’d actually been able to move from the bed to the washtub without bursting into tears of pain.

“Do you need anything else?” Sam asked. “I’ll get anything you want.”

Y/N lifted her hand and rested her fingers in his palm. “I just want to know… what’s it like at first?”

Sam rested his head on his arm and looked at her. “I didn’t feel different, physically… emotionally, and in my head, all that happened over time.”

She opened her eyes and stared at him. “Will it be worth it?”

“As long as you don’t get tired of me,” Sam chuckled and kissed her fingers, “I think you’ll be just fine.”

Y/N sighed. “I’ll never be tired of you, Sam, you know that. You’ll be the only one I ever love.”

He smiled and leaned over the rim of the washtub to kiss her. “And you don’t regret it?”

“I’d be in worse pain if I’d been married against my will.”

Sam laughed. “I think both of us would be.” He kissed her again and watched her eyebrows furrow. “Are you okay? What hurts?”

Y/N winced and pulled her fingers beneath the cool surface of the water. “Just another hot flash, I’m okay.” She smiled painfully up at him. “How much longer?”

“Not long, I hope.” Sam shook his head. “Would you like me to ride into town and get Rowena? She might be able to help.”

Y/N looked towards the door. “No, no, don’t leave me alone.”

“Okay,” Sam murmured and stroked her hair. “I love you, Y/N. You can do this.”

She nodded with tears of pain in her eyes. “I know.”

***

The following morning, Y/N woke up, pressed snugly against the chest of her Alpha. She felt unnaturally light, as if she’d woken up that first morning after being ill for several days. When she rolled onto her back, she found that the aches in her joints and the burning heat that had come and gone in boiling flashes were both gone.

She tilted her head back and looked up. Sam was fast asleep, his eyelashes fluttering as his soft snores forced his chest to steadily rise and fall. He’d been watching over her carefully, not allowing himself to sleep, and he’d finally fallen into a deep slumber in the early hours of the morning. It would be unfair to wake him; he’d been so diligent and protective, he’d earned himself a full day of sleep.

Y/N slipped from the bed, carefully standing and preparing herself for waves of nausea that had previously overwhelmed her every time she moved. However, this time, nothing happened. She was able to quietly wash and change into a loose-fitting dress before mixing ingredients for some of the little breakfast cakes Sam loved so much.

She was just pulling them from the iron skillet when Sam stirred, reaching out for her in the bed. When his hand landed on the thick blanket, his eyes immediately snapped open. He saw her tipping the little cakes onto a plate and sighed with relief. She was alive, thank God.

“I thought you might have left,” he breathed. “How do you feel?

Y/N smiled at him. “Like normal. I don’t feel very different at all.”

Sam closed his eyes, tipping his head back. “Good… that’s good.” He stood, his nightshirt swirling around his knees as he went to her, pulling her into his arms. She still smelled the same.

“I’m glad you feel better,” he sighed, “I couldn’t stand the sight of you in pain like that.”

“But I made it,” Y/N gazed fondly up at him, “I survived. You knew I would.”

Sam smiled and nuzzled her hair. “I did… but still, seeing my Omega hurting, to know what you were feeling… it scared me.”

“Well, you needn’t be afraid anymore,” she smiled, “you’ll have me forever, Sam. I’ll never leave your side.”

Sam felt his chest ache with a mixture of joy and sadness. He’d cursed her, turned her into something he’d avoided for so long… but she’d wanted it. She’d wanted it, and after the attack on Dolgellau, he’d come to the conclusion that she was too important for him to lose. She was the reason he kept fighting… he’d fight for her for the rest of his life, however long it might be.

“I know,” he kissed her and cupped her face, “I know, love, I know.”

She giggled and wrapped her arms around his waist, running her fingers over the smooth muscles of his back. “Well, I made breakfast, or a bit at least… would you like some?”

Sam glanced towards the plate of steaming cakes. The sweet scent wafted in the air, and his stomach grumbled loudly. “You know I can’t resist your cooking, but we should go eat on the lake. It’s a beautiful morning.”

***

An hour later, they were settled on the edge of the lake, feet resting in the chilly water, bellies full of the light, sweet cakes and tea they’d prepared. Y/N took the opportunity that the sun was beginning to emerge from the clouds to crawl slightly deeper into the water, sitting cross-legged in the shallows, her dress swirling around her. She shivered as her body adjusted to the chill, and Sam laughed when she playfully flicked drops of water onto his bare chest.

“You look beautiful,” he said, a blush creeping across his face. “I don’t know how I got so lucky, finding an Omega like you.”

Y/N grinned and cupped the lake water in her hands, watching it drip through her fingers. “I can’t imagine how I got so lucky either.” She crawled up to him, leaning over his outstretched legs to kiss him. “And you’ll have me forever now.”

Sam laughed and kissed her back. “Forever,” he murmured.

And then he reached into the back pocket of his trousers and pulled out something very small and golden. It took Y/N several long, slow seconds to realize what he was holding. Her hands came up to cover her mouth, and she felt tears of shock and joy pool in her eyes.

“Y/N,” Sam spoke softly and carefully, choosing each word as if his life relied on the combination. “If we’re going to be together for the rest of time, then I would like us to be together as husband and wife. I’ve learned that our life together is not something to be taken lightly, and regardless of what might attempt to harm us or pull us apart, I swear that I will do everything in my power to keep you safe and happy. And if you’ll take me as your husband, I’d very much like for you to be my wife. Please... marry me.”

Breathless, Y/N nodded. “Yes. Yes, of course I’ll marry you.”

Sam carefully slipped the ring on her finger and pulled her into his arms, planting a firm, warm kiss on her lips. “My Omega…”

“Alpha.” Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck and dissolved into sobs, cheeks burning hot as tears dripped onto Sam’s skin.

He laughed and rubbed her back, nuzzling the side of her neck. “You don’t need to cry, love, don’t cry…”

“I’m happy.” She hugged him tighter and buried her face in his shoulder. “I never thought you would, I thought you were happy just being my Alpha.”

“I was,” Sam replied, “but I’d like to be your husband as well.”

Y/N kissed him, hard, and her tears fell onto his cheeks as she raised herself over him. Sam raised his arms and stroked her tears away with his thumbs, smiling as he felt the chill of her ring on his skin.

“When? She asked.

“When?”

“When should we be married?”

Sam shrugged. “Whenever we like. I’d like to arrange something at the church in town, if that’s alright with you.”

Y/N smiled and traced the line of his jaw with one finger. “I’d like that very much.”

Sam leaned up to kiss her and rolled her onto her back. She arched up, chilly water swirling around untouched skin. “You bastard, it’s cold!”

He snaked a hand beneath her dress, skimming his fingers over her thigh. “Then allow me to warm you up…”

He pressed his thumb against her clit, using his other hand to pull the neck of her dress down. He sucked her nipple into his mouth and heard her moan with pleasure. Her legs spread underneath him, and Sam slipped his fingers into her sex. She shivered with the chill of his fingers, then cried out when he began pumping them slowly back and forth. She felt warmer than ever before, tighter, wetter, and Sam felt his cock throb in his pants.

“Sam,” she breathed his name and tangled her fingers in his hair. He lapped greedily at her nipple, teasing the soft tissue around it with his teeth. “Oh, God, Alpha…”

Sam pumped his fingers faster, his breath escaping in sharp, fast huffs as Y/N clenched around his fingers. His lips met hers, and he ground his hips down against her thigh. The water had soaked the front of his pants, and the chill was not entirely unpleasant.

They were so caught up in their pleasure that neither of them heard the earth-muffled hoofbeats until it was too late.

“Jesus, you two can’t keep your hands off each other, can you?”

Sam yanked his hand from between Y/N’s legs as she tugged her dress up to cover her bare breast. “Do you mind?” he questioned loudly.

The elder Winchester laughed as Pala stopped by the water’s edge. He quickly dismounted and watched as Sam scrambled to his feet before helping Y/N up as well. He glared at his brother, and for a second debated shoving him into the icy water.

“Well, I know one lake I’m never swimming in again.” Dean folded his arms and grinned. “It’s a little cold to be in the water, isn’t it?”

“We got used to it,” Y/N adjusted the skirt of her dress and folded her arms. “Why are you here?”

“Wanted to make sure my little brother was okay,” he eyed the shoulder that had been injured during Sam’s fight with the hellhound, “and judging from what I saw only seconds ago, he’s perfectly fine.”

Sam slipped his arm around Y/N’s waist and kissed her hair. “We’re engaged.”

Dean’s eyes widened, and he glanced at Y/N’s left hand. “Since when?”

Sam shrugged, “since five minutes ago.”

Dean laughed and pulled his brother into a hug. “I was wondering when you were going to get around to that!”

Y/N watched as Sam clapped his brother hard on the back. “That makes two of us,” she said, smiling, “and… there’s something else.”

“Something else?” Dean glanced between her and Sam. “Like what?”

Sam gripped Y/N’s hand tightly in his own. “Let’s go inside and talk about it. You can put Pala in with Shadow, I’m sure they’ll enjoy the company.”

After the horses were comfortably situated, the three settled at the small table. Dean finished off the last two cakes and complemented Y/N profusely on her cooking abilities.

“You’ve eaten my food before, Dean,” she replied, a blush darkening her cheeks.

“But it’s rare that I can find cakes like the ones my Jo makes,” he replied. “Now, what is the ‘something else’ you were speakin’ about?”

Sam watched as Y/N poured them three mugs of tea and set the pot back over the fire. “I… I changed her.”

Dean paused, his cup halfway to his lips. He stared between the couple, and neither could tell if he was happy or upset at the news. Finally, he set his cup down and looked up at Y/N. “You wanted it, right?”

She smiled. “I’ve been asking him for weeks… finally came to his senses.” She rubbed her hand over Sam’s shoulder and watched him smile, an air of pride crossing his face.

“I’d never force her,” he supplied. “If anything, she was about to back me into a corner and force me to change her.”

Dean nodded. “I’m glad. Anyway, when’s the big day?”

Sam chuckled. “Dean, we’ve been engaged for all of, what, twenty minutes?”

“True,” Dean raised his mug of tea and sipped at it. “Jo and I are going to start trying for a babe.”

Y/N felt her chest ache. “She can carry?”

“Yes,” Dean grinned proudly. “It’s been a while, but we’re finally ready. She’s going to take over as the town baker in Hannah’s place, and I’ll be working with the blacksmith’s shop come summer.” He looked between them again. “Why? Can’t you?”

Y/N bit her lip and shook her head. “N-no. Bad luck, I guess.”

Dean watched as Sam flinched at his Omega’s words. “Apologies… I didn’t know.”

“Of course,” Sam nodded and brushed the back of Y/N’s hand with his fingers. Dean sensed the tension in the room and stood.

“I’ll be off then,” he downed the rest of his tea and set the mug carefully on the table, “I did interrupt you after all.”

They walked outside and watched as Dean led Pala from the gate and hauled himself into the saddle. Sam reached up to shake his brother’s hand. “Good luck,” he said, and Dean laughed wickedly.

“It might be awhile before we make it, but brother, it is fun to try,” he shook his head and dug the stirrups into Pala’s sides. The black mare snorted and took off down the trail, and they watched until Dean had vanished behind the curve of the mountain.

Sam turned to Y/N and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I’m sorry the subject came up.”

Y/N furrowed her brow. “Sam, I’m not upset—”

“Still,” Sam kissed her forehead, “I know it hurts you.”

She smiled and rested her head on his chest. “It could be worse.”

Sam rubbed her back and ran his fingers through her hair. “Castiel said that the church often cares for orphaned children… he suggested that if we wanted to, we could bring one into our home.”

Y/N shrugged and stretched up on her toes to kiss him. “We can think about it… but for right now, I’d suggest that we get finish what we started… preferably inside, where it’s warm.”

Sam grinned and picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist and strode back into the cottage, kicking the door shut behind them. “I quite agree.”

If you want to see chapter 15, reblog and leave a comment! Feedback is my fuel!

TAGS FOR THIS SERIES ARE CLOSED

Forever tags: @atc74 @becaamm @bamby0304 @crispychrissy @crashdevlin @curly-haired-disaster @cameronbraswell @emoryhemsworth @ellen-reincarnated1967 @kittenofdoomage @kayteonline @kdfrqqg @littlegreenplasticsoldier @lunarsaturn88 @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @manawhaat @mrswhozeewhatsis @meganwinchester1999 @oneshoeshort @percussiongirl2017 @serpentbaby @spnwoman @smallgirlbigpersonality @shaelyn102 @thelittleredwhocould @winchesterprincessbride @winecatsandpizza @zombiewerewolfqueen @85natalie

#the cursed series #alpha!sam x omega!reader

135 notes · View notes

lovehaswonangelnumbers · 4 years

Photo

New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/equinox-gateway-balanced-polarities-restructure-our-inner-and-outer-lives/

Equinox Gateway ~ Balanced Polarities, Restructure Our Inner and Outer Lives

By Meg Benedicte

The Equinox Gateway reaches peak momentum at 0 degree Libra on September 22nd. Not only does the Equinox launch the month of Libra, it starts a new season. Libra is the sign of justice, symbolized by balancing scales, emphasizing more harmony and balanced polarities.

It is a day out of time…when day and night are equal length. It is a sacred moment when all stand equal in the balance of opposites. While the Equinox Gateway is open we will focus on balancing opposing forces within our being and in our world reality.

The Equinox occurs the moment the Sun crosses the celestial equator, equal distance between north and south poles. It is the balance point between light and dark. While we pass through these heightened threshold moments, you may feel super-sensitive to the charged energies involved. The seams between dimensions stretch and open, allowing more access to the higher realms.

During 2020 there is a sense of restructuring occurring on all levels of life. Since the March Equinox, there has been massive decomposition of past timelines, outdated ancestral codes and patterns, and traumatic beliefs/emotions. 2020 is the year to deconstruct all toxic operating systems that no longer sustain the greater good.

As we begin to restructure our inner and outer lives, there rises a surge to regain balance. The Tao symbol exemplifies the holistic union of yin/yang, the swirling interaction of equal forces. We have been living in a left brain-dominated society, driven by intellect, aggression and ambition. During the 2000’s we will see more right brain-feminine qualities develop in society.

There are increasing signs of increasing compassion and empathy for all life on the planet. Instead of using effort to acquire, we are becoming more open and receptive to an abundant flow of support. Our hearts are expanding to receive infinite love. We are restructuring at the molecular level to embody divine Soul presence.

The Tao symbol represents the holistic balance of yin/yang…the swirling blend of masculine and feminine in a dance of Oneness. The human race is rapidly evolving into crystalline beings of wholeness. During the Equinox Gateway we will join the dance and balance all aspects of Self in unity consciousness.

Join other Earth Keepers, Gridworkers and Star Beings all around the world as we gather for Equinox Gateway Global Activations on Tuesday, September 22nd. The show is recorded for replay. If you would like to participate, register here: https://newearthcentral.com/?p=220831

Lovingly,

Meg

Copyright (c) 2020 Meg Benedicte * All Rights Reserved * You may copy and distribute this material as long as you do not alter it in any way, the content remains complete and you include this copyright notice.

******

LoveHasWon.org is a Non-Profit Charity, Heartfully Associated with the “World Blessing Church Trust” for the Benefit of Mother Earth

Share Our Messages with Love and Gratitude

VISIT OUR LOVEHASWON DIRECTORY… ALL OUR PLATFORMS ACCESSIBLE IN ONE PLACE ~ https://linktr.ee/lovehaswon777

Visit Our Online Store for Higher Consciousness Alternative Medicine, Products and Tools: Gaia’s Whole Healing Essentials

Visit Our NEW Sister Site: LoveHasWon Angel Numbers

https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/

Commentary from The First Contact Ground Crew 5dSpiritual Healing Team:

⭐ Etheric Surgery with Mother & Father of ALL Creation ~ It’s Miracle Time! ~

https://www.lovehaswon.org/sessions/etheric-surgery/

⭐Crystal Schools for Rainbow Children:

https://www.lovehaswon.org/crystal-schools-for-rainbow-children/

⭐Schedule an Amazing Holistic Healing Session:

https://www.lovehaswon.org/holistic-healing-session/

⭐Call to Action Ascension Session:

https://www.lovehaswon.org/call-to-action-ascension-session/

⭐ LoveHasWon Clothing Line:

https://www.lovehaswon.org/t-shirts-apparel/

Love Always,

Mother & Father of all Creation & The First Contact Ground Crew Team.

Twin Flame Spiritual Intuitive Ascension Session: https://lovehaswon.org/lovehaswon-twin-flame-spiritual-intuitive-ascension-session/

Request an Astonishing Astrology Session: https://lovehaswon.org/lovehaswon-astrology/

Connect with MotherGod~Mother of All Creation on Skype @ mothergoddess8

Receive THE TRUE STORY OF CREATION, The Tree Of Life Book ~ https://gaiaswholehealingessentials.org/collections/higher-consciousness-transmutations/products/lovehaswon-tree-of-life-book

Receive The LoveHasWon Ascension Guide: https://gaiaswholehealingessentials.org/collections/higher-consciousness-transmutations/products/lovehaswon-ascension-guide

Donate through our Paypal Charity:

https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/3676799

Use Cash App with Our code and we’ll each get $5! FKMPGLH

Cash App Tag: $lovehaswon1111

https://cash.me/app/FKMPGLH

Donate with Venmo

https://venmo.com/lovehaswon1111

Thank you so much for Supporting Our Gaia’s Whole Healing Gofundme Campaign

https://www.gofundme.com/f/gaias-whole-healing-essentials

We also accept Western Union and Moneygram. You may send an email to [email protected] for more information.

***If you wish to send Donations by mail or other methods, email us at [email protected] or [email protected]***

**** We Do Not Refund Donations****

MeWe ~ Linkedin ~ Twitter ~ Tumblr ~ Youtube ~ Facebook ~ Apple News ~ GAB ~ Minds ~ Google+ ~ Medium ~ Weibo ~ StumbleUpon ~ Reddit ~ Informed Planet ~ Steemit ~ SocialClub ~ BlogLovin ~ Flipboard ~ Pinterest ~ Instagram ~ Snapchat

#5D Astrology #Ascension and Spirituality #Astrology Updates #consciousness

2 notes · View notes

jdwstaten-blog · 5 years

Text

The Individualistic Environment of the Internet

The digital creates an environment in which individuals are able to ignore forms of challenge to their views and create their own cult of individual. Today, individuals can remove ideas that disagree with their own from the public forum via a range of techniques. Internet users can seclude themselves from the outside world and become immersed in a world that reflects their opinions rather than truth and fact, as their ideas are legitimised and facts decried as "fake news". But how does the internet do this, and is the internet entirely to blame for this?

How we use the Internet

In Western civilisation, a social shift is taking place, the results of which are too vast to truly comprehend, especially within one sentence. The arrival of the internet as a staple of everyday life has changed the way people communicate, organise their days, entertain themselves and more. The internet is used to bring power to homes, find people new jobs and even to discover potential soulmates. It has become not only a staple of daily life, but integral to it, with users who are disconnected from it for long periods of time feeling disconnected from the world itself.

The Importance of Debate

Debate is vital to democracy. Debate is also vital to co-existence and co-operation with others, even when you find you might disagree with them. The internet does allow this. With so many people connected, people are able to share their different experiences and both the joys and hardships that they face. Anonymity may make a user less trustworthy, but it may also protect them and allow for their voice, that would normally be censored, to be heard around the world. That is why the #MeToo movement was able to thrive on social media, as well as suppressed voices in the recent Hong Kong protests to be heard on the other side of the world. Barnidge (2018) argues that political disagreement on social media is not so different to political disagreement in face-to-face conversation. However, whilst this may be true of more typical conversational debate, it ignores the taboo subjects that are rarely discussed outside of the internet, due to the need for anonymity. The internet allows for more honest debate in which people are able to speak freely without damaging their public face.

Why Are We So Open Online?

Whilst all internet users reside within cyberspace (Jordan, 1999), it is important to remember that beyond certain examples (such as Skype or FaceTime), we are unable to directly see one another within said cyberspace. We are instead represented by our avatars, sometimes pictures of us, or the things that we like and with pictures of ourselves or again, something we enjoy, these avatars are our personalities condensed into an image and a name. What they are not is human. Because of this, when we interact with one another, through our avatars, within cyberspace, we do not see another person, only another avatar. This can lead to something of a dehumanising effect and we become less aware of the person we are communicating within behind the avatar. As John Gilmore notes: "On the internet, nobody knows you at all, on the Internet nobody knows what your race is or your sex." (This was later popularised by the internet meme On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog, a cartoon by Peter Steiner of the New Yorker). Because of this, we become less inclined to see that person as someone within the real world. As proven by Milgram (1963), when we are unaware of the individual, we are less likely to care about inflicting pain on to them. Perhaps then this is why harassment online runs so rampant and we are so quick to attack those with whom we disagree. This has led to a perceived break down in discourse as people become disenfranchised from debate. The internet age has come to be seen as a time in which debate in inescapable and constant when they do not want to constantly defend their own opinions or attack the opinions of others, instead wishing to simply share their viewpoint with like-minded individuals.

Block Buttons

Most social media platforms have a system in place that allows for the blocking of other users. Although it is dependent on the website as to what exactly the block function entails, the block feature normally allows for one user to prevent the content uploaded by another user from appearing on their profile. Social media companies do not comment on when and how the block feature should be used but instead appear to allow the user base to determine for themselves what would constitute a reason for using the block feature. What these companies do comment on is their ability to block an individual’s access to their site, usually through the report function.

The reason given by social media companies tends to remain the same, whether it be Facebook who claim they block individuals from the platform to: “Combat harmful conduct, and protect and support our community” or Twitter who state they remove content on grounds of: "copyright or trademark violations, impersonation, unlawful conduct, or harassment.” Perhaps then users should be using these parameters to determine what they block on the platform. Perhaps the largest issue with these guidelines however is the use of “harmful” in Facebook’s case and “harassment” in the case of Twitter as both of these terms and what is required of them is subjective. Whilst there are obvious cases of harassment such as death threats, it is up to the user to determine whether or not something like name calling is to be considered harassment. Because of this, what we unfortunately find now is that the block function is used by individuals, not just to block those who harass them, but more simply to block those who they disagree with.

Discourse is beginning to break down and this is a danger to Western society’s foundational material. As Mutz (2006) tells us: "Political disagreement is an important concept to democratic theory because it is believed to promote tolerance of the other side." So, the question arises: does the block function, in its ability to close off debate without resolution or compromise, pose a threat to democracy? Already the US court system has had to make a legal decision regarding the block function on social media regarding President Donald Trump and his personal Twitter account. Judge Naomi Budgewald ruled in a lawsuit against President Trump that it was unconstitutional for the sitting president to block Twitter users who were critical of his presidency as it violated the first amendment to the US Constitution. The First Amendment exists to protect the liberties of free expression that were important to the young democracy and remain important to democracies around the world today. Yet the block function was viewed by the court as a threat to this basic democratic function. We now have a situation whereby people are closing down debate, in part because it is so constant, and instead choosing to create echo-chambers in which their viewpoints are never challenged and instead regularly validated.

Echo-Chambers

An echo-chamber is the name given to a space, cyber or physical, in which the views of an individual are to be shared without critique and instead praised by like-minded individuals who are saying similar things. These occur when social media users create accounts and interact with other accounts, providing they agree entirely with what the other accounts say. This leads to users no longer reading what they disagree with or what challenges them and instead reading only validation for their beliefs. Therefore, when an individual encounters a text with which they disagree, they refuse to see its merits and instead use the validation they received from the echo chamber to disregard the challenging text (this is partially what has allowed the phrase “fake news” to become more widely circulated even when the text is objectively factual).

Deplatforming

Deplatforming is the process in which a large group of social media users come together and pressure the platform provider to remove another user from the platform. This can take place across the media (such as TV and Physical Publishing) but is particularly found within social media. Because so many people are willing to discuss their opinions more freely, as previously discussed, they are more likely to anger other users who may come to disagree with them. The offended users may sometimes believe that the topic this user is discussing is one that is too harmful to continue on the platform and so will protest the platform, asking it to remove the offender. What this often leads to however is further division as users begin to take sides between either the offender or the offended, leading to more aggressive and uncomfortable debate then began. If the offended group are successful in deplatforming the offending user, a further issue may occur: the idea may go underground. This tends to occur when ideas are considered taboo by larger society. Individuals who agree with this view but feel that they are not safe in discussing it within certain parts of the internet, will instead begin to discuss it elsewhere (usually on less monitored websites such as 4chan). Here echo-chambers form and grow, allowing the taboo idea to be more widely circulated and validated.

The Seclusion of the Internet

Perhaps the biggest fear to have grown out of the internet and its continued involvement in our lives is the fear of addiction. Internet addiction is not currently a recognised health problem by the World Health Organisation, yet it continues to be considered an issue, particularly in the media. According to Rees, Wilridge et al. (2019), "PSU (Problematic Smartphone Use) was reported in approximately one in every four CYP (Children and Young People) and accompanied by an increased odds of poorer mental health." The study further went on to argue that this was leading to an unhealthy mental health and decrease in social skills. The internet secluded us from the physical world, but it also has the ability to seclude us in the virtual world...

The internet, in its vastness, has created a series of pathways for every individual who uses it and that are each unique to them. Whilst we are all connected, and our paths might cross more easily, so too has our individual life paths never appeared so obvious. No two people interact on the same sites, in the same order for the length of their individual lives. We have become more secluded on our individual pathways, sharing less time together in the same places. This has only furthered emphasised our individualistic nature, as we become more engrossed in our own interests and care less for those around us (both physically and virtually). Some people may determine that the people around them are worthless and become so attached to just a few of their beliefs, that they will do anything to protect them.

The Dangers of Seclusion

Arguably the most frightening aspect of the internet is its ability, not just to connect us to individuals, but to connect us to the most dangerous individuals in our society. Extremist groups have easier access to their next recruits. YouTube is the most common place for propaganda to be found, with the site having to regularly undertake new methods to take down such material (thereby raising a free speech debate around extremist material and its similarity with hate speech). Pedophilia is also able to run more rampant online. Children often have access to the internet unsupervised and the seclusion they feel (particularly teenagers who already tend to feel secluded) is an easy target for pedophiles who look to give their targets validation before exploiting their trust and naivety.

The Seclusion of the Novel

But the idea of young people spending long periods of time engrossed in something, not pertaining to the real world, is not a new phenomenon. Novels have long had a similar effect and the child and teenage audiences have led to the creation of book markets specifically targeted towards them. Books, like the internet, transport people to another dimension, where they are able to explore another world. This transportation sees readers become, typically, more secluded as they search for somewhere quiet to read and choose to stay away from family members and friends for a few hours to enjoy their imaginary world.

Furthermore, whilst the words read in a novel may be identical, what we envision is not. A novelist is only able to go so far in transplanting their vision into their reader's head. What we therefore get is a system like the internet in which we live in an alternate world, for purposes of escapism, for long periods of time. Veltkamp even argues that this transportation increases our empathy saying: “fiction influences empathy of the reader, but only under the condition of low or high emotional transportation into the story.”

The idea of cyberspace is really not so different from the imaginary worlds we create when reading so why would the effects on children's brains, and their ability to emerge themselves into it, be so different? In fact, is it not more likely that the positive effects of fiction are also to be found due to the emotional transportation of the internet?

Of course, with a novel, children are unable to communicate with individuals who might exploit them, but they also miss out on communicating with friends and developing physical world bonds outside of their family. Though it should also be remembered that if children have a healthy amount of screen or reading time, then they should also have opportunities to explore relationships in the physical world be it in school-time, or other events aimed towards children.

Can it really be said that the seclusion created by the internet is so different from the seclusion created previously by the novel? Humanity has always strived to escape to somewhere different, the internet is arguably a new way to attain this.

Internet Gaming

Perhaps the most immersive form of entertainment through the internet is gaming and particularly the game Fortnite. Fortnite belongs to a fairly new genre in gaming known as the Battle Royale genre of games in which players (usually 100) are dropped into an environment and must pick up items on the island in order to survive, all the while fighting to become the last player alive. Fortnite is the most popular of this genre with an install base of over 250 million users across the seven platforms it is available on and at a recent World Championships, the 16-year-old winner took home $3 million. However, the game's popularity has led to countless reports claiming it causes violent behaviour in the children that play it, as well as other anti-social behaviours that come from long periods of seclusion. Is the game's main mode, in which players must defend themselves from other users for risk of losing, a rather helpful analogy in discussing how secluded people can become on the internet? Quite possibly. Even the game's modes in which players can fight alongside other players encourages tribalism as they still must fight over players in order to stay in the game.

Alternatively, however, Fortnite should perhaps be commended. After all, the game also encourages creativity (especially with its unique building aspect), co-operation (with regards to its co-op team-based modes) and puzzle solving. Furthermore, the game allows for new friendships, has created a new form of employment for several of the game's best players (several of whom have played the game as part of charity fundraisers) and created an exciting new brand for kids and even parents to bond over (with some parents even playing together once their children have gone to bed). Just like many entertainment franchises, Fortnite creates something well known that encourages people to create and share their ideas with others, creating and reinforcing friendships.

Not all internet gaming revolves around conflict either. Many games such as the Animal Crossing and Pokémon series have online elements that encourage players to work alongside each other. Whether this be building towns in Animal Crossing, capturing the various eponymous creatures in Pokémon or simply exploring the worlds of both games, these games, as well as others, offer players the chance to co-operate and succeed together.

The Information Superhighway

The internet is one of the defining inventions of the 20th Century and has had a transformative effect on Western society in the 21st Century. Communication and the spread of information has become available, quite literally, at the speed of light and on a global scale, especially among the Western World. These individualistic cultures are more connected and understanding between them has become easier.

This has created a cultural monotony as the various Western societies share their values more freely than ever. The internet is a connecting service that allows for quick and easy access to information. It is worth bearing in mind that the internet is not a unique entity or a metaphysical reality but simply a tool that, whilst advanced, still requires human input.

Collectivist Culture and the Internet

Whilst Western civilisation is seen as an individualistic culture, other cultures have been identified as collectivist. These cultures typically involve a larger community aspect and see success not as the product of the individual, but of the larger community. The question now is: has the internet made these communities more individualistic? Unfortunately, the answer is inconclusive as many of these traditional communities tend to be more rural and therefore less connected to the internet, whilst the urbanised communities have already become westernised due to the need to adapt to the global market. Still, we can see that even the rural, traditional communities in second world and some third world countries have gained new access to the internet and use it in much the same way those in rural first world communities use it (that is to say, largely on an individualistic basis). The internet is allowing the movement of ideas more quickly than ever, much as empires did in the 19th and 20th centuries and with this comes a colonisation not of land and resources, but of thought as ideology can spread faster than ever (somewhat like Christianity did in 19th century Africa due to British missionaries). This colonisation can be seen, at least in part, when examining the growth of western social media companies within emerging nations. Already Facebook has over 139 million users within Africa and many of the issues the internet issues that are said to threaten Western civilisation, are said to be doing the same within Africa. There are fears that Facebook is “undermining democracy in Africa” as “fake news” starts to become more prevalent

The Arab Spring

In 2011, the Arab Spring occurred across the Middle East. Uprisings in nations such as Tunisia, Libya and Egypt began that saw to alter the regimes that had taken hold there. These nations have all in the past been described as more collectivist communities than Western society and yet social media was highly influential in the genesis of these revolutions. Several groups used social media to come together and organise larger protests with a strategic purpose. With the aid of social media, revolutionaries were able to garner support from first world nations, leading to a NATO response in Libya, as well as aid in several other North African and Middle Eastern countries. The impact of social media in this situation cannot be underestimated as several videos of demonstrations and atrocities led to the eyes of the world turning towards situations they had long previously abandoned. What should also be noted however is the fall out that followed the demonstrations. Today three countries, or one fifth of countries involved in the Arab Spring, remain locked in Civil War, in part because whilst groups were able to use social media to overthrow the larger governments, none held a majority or even a sizeable minority within the national populace. The divisions that were always there between people have become more obvious, just as they political divisions in Western democracies have grown in the past ten years, a trend that has been largely put down to social media’s influence.

The Individual Behind the Avatar

The internet is arguably the largest collaboration of human work in existence and has seen billions of people contribute to it, despite its young age. When we discuss the internet, we have to remember that the people behind it are ordinary people. The infrastructure of the internet may be held by the Silicon Valley elite, but those who use it and populate the internet with content are the user base. This user base uses the internet as an extension of their pre-internet society and whilst becoming more integrated within the internet, the line between these two societies has become more blurred.

A Distrust of New Things

The distrust of the internet can be likened to the distrust of the written word observed in Ancient Greece. Socrates argued that the written word would "create forgetfulness in the learner's souls." A similar argument that can be found today regarding the internet, due to its ability to recall information at a moment's notice (and has previously been made by Daniel M. Wegner and Adrian F. Ward). Yet perhaps it would be fair to say that these individuals feel threatened by the changing world as it challenges a society in which they were the most powerful. Whilst the written word did ultimately change our society, it largely began what we now call civilisation. Perhaps the internet will be just as revolutionary for our society and therefore, like the written word before it, just as unfairly distrusted. Perhaps we are on the precipice of a new age that shall see humanity and its existence transform in a new way that as of yet is unknown. Or perhaps this is just a fluke and we shall abandon the internet as we collectively determine it to be too dangerous to continue. A new form of communication is a rare phenomenon for humanity, it is up to us to decide whether to embrace or destroy it.

Is it all the Internet's Fault?

It would be easy to say that the internet has created a more divisive, vitriol filled social climate, but to say so would be to scapegoat the human condition. In truth, we do not like to read what we disagree with and we have a dislike of things that are too different to ourselves. When we disagreed with newspapers, we changed the newspaper we read. When we did not like the change, a novel had made to a character, we put the book down and we told others that we did not enjoy it. The digital is not a new creation that has made us dislike one another, it has simply amplified and sped up the rate at which we hear things, both contrary to and supporting our opinions. It is true then, the digital creates an environment in which individuals are able to ignore forms of challenge to their views and create their own cult of individual, but no more so than any other environment. When an environment is created in which people of different ideas come together, there is always a way for people to walk away from debate and look for those who reaffirm their beliefs. Neo-Nazism in Post-War America and Europe and Islamic extremism grew without the aid of the internet. They grew, as any extremism does, by targeting those without cause and giving it to them. The internet simply allows this to be done on a faster and larger scale today. In truth, the internet simply speeds up the terrible things that humanity are willing to say and do to one another. In other words: the digital is not the problem, humans are.

Bibliography

Bal, P.M. and Veltkamp, M. (2013). How Does Fiction Reading Influence Empathy? An Experimental Investigation on the Role of Emotional Transportation. PLoS ONE, [online] 8(1), p.e55341. Available at: https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0055341 [Accessed 7 Dec. 2019].

Barnidge, M. (2018). Social Affect and Political Disagreement on Social Media. Social Media + Society, 4(3), p.205630511879772.

Brandwatch. (2019). The 20 Most Followed Accounts on Twitter. [online] Available at: https://www.brandwatch.com/blog/most-twitter-followers/.

Breuninger, K. (2018). Trump can’t block Twitter followers, federal judge says. [online] CNBC. Available at: https://www.cnbc.com/2018/05/23/trump-cant-block-twitter-followers-federal-judge-says.html [Accessed 10 Dec. 2019].

Facebook. (2019). Terms of Service. [online] Available at: https://en-gb.facebook.com/legal/terms [Accessed 10 Dec. 2019].

Fleishman, G. (2000). Cartoon Captures Spirit of the Internet. [online] Archive.org. Available at: https://web.archive.org/web/20171229172420/http://www.nytimes.com/2000/12/14/technology/cartoon-captures-spirit-of-the-internet.html [Accessed 11 Dec. 2019].

Jordan T. Cyberpower the culture and politics of cyberspace and the internet. London ;: Routledge; 1999:66.

Madowo, L. (2019). Is Facebook undermining democracy in Africa? [online] BBC News. Available at: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/world-africa-48349671 [Accessed 10 Dec. 2019].

Mcclurg, S.D. (2007). Diana C. Mutz. Hearing the Other Side: Deliberative versus Participatory Democracy. Public Opinion Quarterly, [online] 71(2), pp.312–314. Available at: https://academic.oup.com/poq/article/71/2/312/1928937 [Accessed 10 Dec. 2019].

Meeker, M. (2019). Internet Trends 201. [online] p.91. Available at: https://www.bondcap.com/pdf/Internet_Trends_2019.pdf [Accessed 10 Dec. 2019].

Milgram S. People do what they are told to do. . 2012:253.

News Consumption in the UK: 2018 PROMOTING CHOICE • SECURING STANDARDS • PREVENTING HARM. (2018). [online] Ofcom. Available at: https://www.ofcom.org.uk/__data/assets/pdf_file/0024/116529/news-consumption-2018.pdf.

Plato. c.399-347 BCE. “Phaedrus.” Pp. 551-552 in Compete Works, edited by J. M. Cooper. Indianapolis IN: Hackett.

Sohn, S., Rees, P. and Wildridge, B. (2019). Prevalence of problematic smartphone usage and associated mental health outcomes amongst children and young people: a systematic review, meta-analysis and GRADE of the evidence. BMC Psychiatry, 19(1).

Twitter.com. (2019). Report a Tweet, List, or Direct Message. [online] Available at: https://help.twitter.com/en/safety-and-security/report-a-tweet [Accessed 10 Dec. 2019].

Wegner, D.M. and Ward, A.F. (2013). How Google Is Changing Your Brain. Scientific American, 309(6), pp.58–61.

1 note · View note