#this sort of episode usually happens in the late hours of the night & she's sleep deprived

[luckydxy]

Ara is one for skinny dipping & dancing nude around a fire, sure sure, it's all good fun, she enjoys it, but realistically she's occasionally prone to stripping when incredibly overwhelmed ; it's suddenly too hot, she can feel every fiber & crease of the fabric, it's hot it's hot, even velvet or silk are too much, too scratchy, too tight, too much too much, she wishes she could remove her skin, it takes every ounce of willpower to not hack at her hair with a knife, it's too hot, everything feels wrong & overwhelming to the touch, everything is wrong, it's hot, she's suffocating-

[yyunari]

CHESHIRE ! — Nishimura Riki

SYNOPSIS. Y/N Cheshire lived her life carefree. Being the daughter of the Cheshire Cat made her more inclined to not take anything seriously and to just have a little bit of fun in everything she does. Whether it was pulling pranks, sneaking up on people, or making jabs at her friends- Y/N kept a Cheshire’s smile on her face. Because of that, she just couldn’t take Chaehyun Cupid seriously when she claimed that Y/N had a crush on Riki Wonderland.

PLAYLIST. listen to cheshire’s soundtrack while reading!

PAIRING. Kitty Cheshire! Y/N × Alistair Wonderland! Riki

(not shipping kitty and alistair !)

GENRE. Ever After High AU, High school AU, Fluff, Slight Angst

WARNINGS. bad parental relationship, ooc riki, angst

WORD COUNT. around 18k

NOTES. ITS OUT!!! i’ve been working on this fic for months and i finally finished it😭😭💗 thank u @muhwaa my best friend my soulmate for life and my twin flame for motivating me to finish it <3 this is my first long fic so i hope i did it well !!!

1. Naps and feathers don’t mesh.

The lights around her felt brighter than usual, though Liz Lockes found herself in the starlight once again. It wasn’t that she was complaining- in fact, she rather enjoyed it. She felt a sense of solitude as the rest of the world seemed to fade as nothing else mattered.

Liz didn’t mean to fall asleep in the Enchanted Forest. While being in the forest didn’t freak her out much, as the Daughter of Goldilocks, it still felt like an absurd place to sleep. But she had an episode for her MirrorCast news show featuring some of the pixies that reside in the forest, and all the preparation along with the actual filming had made her rather sleepy. She thought that it wouldn’t be too harmful if she took a little rest by a tree. That rest turned into an hour long nap and although it was an accident, the nap had felt just right. Though, it wasn’t just right when she was awoken by a feather being wiggled above her sensitive nose.

How was that possible? She couldn’t see anyone actually holding the feather- was it some sort of a spell?

Liz felt her nose twitch ever so slightly before she finally sneezed. This caused the feather to fall onto her face, before she threw it onto the ground next to her. Barely awake, Liz didn’t feel it in herself to question what had just happened, so she stood up from the spot where she took her impromptu nap and began to leave the forest.

As she made it near the front, however, she spotted Y/N Cheshire curled up on the branch of a tree playing with a ball of yarn.

What was Y/N doing in the forest so late? Weird.

Liz found herself quite fond of the Cheshire Cat’s daughter and decided to make some conversation.

“Hey Y/N!” Liz waved. “What are you doing here?”

Y/N, who gazed at Liz with her cat-like eyes and unsettling smirk, let out a giggle. “Oh, I’m about to take a small catnap.”

A nap? At 9 P.M?

Liz thought it was interesting how alike Y/N was with her mother. Although most Ever After High students found themselves copying the mannerisms of their parents, there were the bunch that preferred not to follow their destinies and created personalities and hobbies for themselves. The latter, known as the Rebels, was a category that mostly students destined for evil or misfortune chose to fall into. But really, Rebels were just anyone who refused to follow their storybook ending. As someone who has a relatively simple destiny, it made sense for Y/N to be keen on following hers.

The blonde snapped out of her thoughts and turned back to Y/N. “That’s funny, I was just leaving from taking a nap of my own! Do you sleep in the forest often?”

“You could say that,” Y/N threw her ball of yarn onto the ground. “I enjoy coming here at night. The stars are really pretty, aren’t they Liz?”

Liz smiled. “They are! Especially in the forest, they just look so stunning.”

“You should come here more often then, I’m sure we’ll get along just right.”

Liz raised an eyebrow at the suspicious tone she had in her voice. Of course, it was known that Y/N enjoyed pulling pranks in her free time… and even when she was busy. Liz had even covered Y/N in one of her MirrorCast episodes.

That was slightly difficult, considering how evasive the girl was. But being the star reporter of Ever After High, Liz prided herself in her ability to make a story out of anything. Even when the subject was hard to work with.

Before she could ask any questions, she realized what Y/N had meant as she observed the girl take a feather out of her pocket.

The same kind of feather that had woken up Liz from her nap.

Really, there was no stopping her mischievous feats. Y/N acted on her own accord, convinced by no one but her mother. There truly was nothing she took seriously in life. The cat girl lived her life treating everything as if it were nothing, so it was only natural that how people felt about pranks wouldn’t affect her, Liz assumed at least. She brushed it all off and waved Y/N a goodbye.

After all, it wasn’t that serious to begin with.

୨:୧┈┈┈ · · ┈┈┈୨:୧

2. Cupid knows best.

“Hey Y/N, why do you always prank Riki?”

Y/N felt herself let out a snicker as her friend, Chaehyun Cupid, daughter of Eros, asked her a question. It was a silly one, really.

“What do you mean? I prank everyone- it’s kind of my thing.” Y/N pointed to the small cat hat that rested on her head.

Being the daughter of the Cheshire Cat, Y/N felt lots of pride in fulfilling her destiny. As such, she turned pranking people constantly into her niche. Riki Wonderland, son of Alice, was no different.

Chaehyun just rolled her eyes, leaning against Y/N’s locker. “You’ve pranked him 8 times this week already! There’s tons of people in this school so why are you targeting him specifically?”

Ningning Swan, daughter of The Swan Queen, pursed her lips. “Chae is right, you know? You’ve been pranking Riki too much recently. According to Beomgyu he’s getting pretty tired of it.”

Beomgyu Hood, son of Robin Hood, was Riki’s roommate. So if he claimed that Riki was getting annoyed then it was probably the truth.

But Y/N didn’t care much for what they were saying. Why should it matter if he feels burdened by her pranks or not? They were only in good fun, after all! She only pulled silly, lighthearted pranks. Y/N didn’t see the issue in that.

“Hey, why so serious guys?” Y/N put on her signature Cheshire smile. “I’m just here to have a good time. Whether or not I prank Riki most of the time is none of your business. Plus, Beomgyu is an idiot who lives in the woods and plays music for a living. His destiny is to be a thief. I wouldn’t trust anything that guy says.”

Ningning gave a soft smile. “He’s not that bad. He’ll be a thief who gives to the poor.”

Chaehyun turned to the swan girl with a knowing look, as the latter brushed it off and continued.

“As your closest friends, it is our business.” Ningning stated.

Y/N giggled, her movements laced with insincerity. “You’re my only friends.”

“Still makes us your closest! And don’t forget you have your Wonderland friends, Y/N.”

At that, Y/N shrugged, still adorning her wide and mischievous grin. It was true that Y/N didn’t have many friends. Naturally as someone who seeks chaos and disharmony in all she does, it was fit that people didn’t bother to get to know her. Being a rather secretive person, Y/N didn’t find herself too bothered by it (as she liked to convince herself). However, she was rather close with the other Ever After High students from Wonderland. Soul Hatter, son of the Mad Hatter, Giselle Hearts, daughter of the Queen of Hearts, and Rei Blanc, daughter of the White Rabbit. They all grew up together and were each other’s closest friends in childhood. The only other student missing from that list was Riki.

There was never a specific reason as to why the two never got close. Perhaps Riki disliked Y/N. Perhaps his mother had told him to avoid Y/N and her staple chaos. Perhaps Y/N had been subconsciously avoiding him. Whatever it was, Y/N and Riki remained civil with one another but never became friends.

There was, however, one instance that made Y/N feel slightly closer to the boy. One night that they had spent together… had he forgotten? She tried not to think much of it and figured he didn’t think about it either.

All the more reason as to why pranking him often wasn’t a big deal. They weren’t friends (as far as she was concerned) and were barely acquainted with one another past the basis of where they lived- so why was Chaehyun suddenly questioning it?

The bell rang, alerting students to get to their next classes.

“Y/N, you totally like Riki!” Chaehyun suddenly squealed. “I can see it in your eyes when you talk about him. You like him. Pranking him more often than others just means you’re deflecting your real feelings by acting like you don’t care about him. It’s very common when people have crushes.”

The thought made Y/N burst out into laughter. After all, come on. Her? Having romantic feelings for Riki? The same boy who peed his pants the first time they went from Wonderland to Ever After? Not a chance. She could care less for the cute blush on his face afterwards, or the way he laughed it off and acted like it wasn’t a big deal (it was, he had to run into a random house in the woods to clean himself up and that’s where he met Beomgyu). She would never admit that she only knew that because she had turned herself invisible and followed him. Y/N could say for sure that she found none of that appealing. Nothing about him in the slightest.

Even the notion that Y/N would have romantic interest for anyone was absurd.

But as an avid enjoyer of all that is lawless, Y/N just shrugged with a nonchalant expression. She wasn’t one to express herself. “I could tell you, but…” She trailed off in a fake train of thought before continuing. “Where’s the fun in that? Chaos is keeping people guessing, and that makes this kitty purr~”

Her friends deadpanned at her nonspecific phrasing. It was rather hard to get anything out of the shielded girl who embodied certain traits of a cat. Of course she acted as her own person and didn’t rely on her background or her mother to force her one way, but that was just the thing. She was only raised in that way so perhaps it was all she knew best.

Chaehyun smiled, knowing well that Y/N was in a state of denial. It held up- Y/N wasn’t the open type. Cats are feisty, after all. “Sweetie, I’m the daughter of Cupid. I think I know a thing or two about love- and most things in general.” All she needs is a little push.

Y/N smirked. “Most things, really? Because Yujin Hood is a wolf like her father but so far I’m the only one who’s seemed to notice.” Yujin Hood, daughter of Little Red Riding Hood. “It’s funny because she’s really obvious about it but somehow no one has caught on. I mean, why does everyone think she acts so shady and disappears often? She’s obviously hiding a secret.”

The two girls gasped at the news. Really? The thought of Yujin being a wolf felt so… bizarre. But it definitely explained her weird habits. “That’s cheating! You can teleport and turn invisible. You spy on people all the time.” Ningning said.

“You’re right, I can! Speaking of which… Headmaster Grimm is coming this way so I’m going to head to Home Evilnomics before Baba Yaga notices I’m not there. Toodles!” Y/N waved to her friends and let her mouth spread into her Cheshire smile, before her body vanished into thin air- the last thing Ningning and Chaehyun saw of her was that damn smile as it hovered in thin air and lingered ever so slightly longer than the rest of her body.

“Why aren’t you two heading to class?” The familiar voice of the headmaster made the two girls shudder. That man truly had a terrifying aura. “Hurry along, don’t want to keep your professors waiting.”

Deep down they wished they had Y/N’s teleportation ability.

୨:୧┈┈┈ · · ┈┈┈୨:୧

3. Riki’s mixed feelings.

Riki couldn’t figure out why Y/N seemed to hate him.

It wasn’t as if he’d done anything to her, right? In fact when they were children, he considered her as a friend. Sure they didn’t speak to one another much, but every Wonderlandian was considered his friend. After that night they had spent together back in Wonderland, he figured they at least had an understanding of each other.

He had even found her pranks and unserious personality to be endearing!

That was, until she had made him the target of her pranks. Constantly.

Y/N didn’t prank him much when they were younger. It was only when they started attending Ever After High that the pranks would amp up and become more of a frequent thing. They first began small- switching out his shampoo for hair dye, throwing ice cream at his face on a roller coaster, replacing his croquet ball with yarn, etc. All pretty juvenile stuff. He didn’t mind it and honestly found it funny.

But even Riki had to admit that getting pranked more than twice each week was overkill! It got to a point where he would leave classes and try to go under the radar, in hopes that he could avoid Y/N at all costs. Though, it didn’t help that they had a lot of the same friends. So when his best friend, Soul Hatter, would attempt to get her attention, Riki would groan internally as her cat eyes found their way to his form.

However, nothing gets past the Mad Hatter’s son so he asked Riki about it one day- while the two were hanging out at the Mad Hatter’s tea shop in the Village of Book End.

All sorts of typical Wonderland madness went on in the tea shop, such as teacups being used for the shop’s outdoor design, clocks that tell the wrong time, portals, and objects that float on occasion. It all made Riki miss Wonderland more and more each time he went.

A squeal could be heard from inside the shop as the tables began to float. An unassuming Bahiyyih Charming feared for her life as she felt her feet lift off from the ground. Though for Riki and Soul, they were used to it so they proceeded with their conversation. “I just feel like she hates me! There’s no way you can prank someone that often without feeling negative feelings towards them.” Riki stated with a downcast look on his face.

Soul took a sip of his favorite Earl Grey tea before responding. “More like there’s no way she hates you. I don’t think Y/N hates anyone, in fact, she’s a rather peaceful person.”

At that, Riki raised an eyebrow. “Really? The Cheshire Cat’s daughter is peaceful?”

“Well she does love discord, but she cares a lot for her friends, even if she has trouble showing it. I would know- I’m actually friends with her.” Soul said.

Suddenly, a top hat appeared next to their table.

“Dad? Is that you?”

A boisterous laugh was heard as the Mad Hatter popped out from inside of the hat.

Soul beamed at his dad and the two did their handshake, which they had made back when Soul was a toddler. “Whistle, cradle, up top, down, sideways-“ Riki just smiled at this and waited for them to finish.

“-and to the moon! To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you two today?” The Mad Hatter asked, as he poured himself a cup of tea.

“We were just talking about how Riki thinks Y/N hates him.” Soul elbowed his best friend in a teasing manner.

The older man tapped his finger on his chin in thought. “Y/N? Well that girl could hardly hate anyone! I’d find that very hard to believe.” Soul gave Riki a knowing ‘I told you so’ look.

“So then why is she always pranking me?”

The Mad Hatter gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Perhaps it’s her love language.”

“Love language? She’s not really close with anyone besides the other Wonderland kids.. and Ningning… and Chaehyun.” Riki spoke, as he recounted Y/N’s friends. It wasn’t very hard.

Before his question could be answered, a ring from the bell at the counter alerted the Mad Hatter to get back to work. To which he did, but not before giving his son a new box of Earl Grey tea.

“Do you think she likes you?” Riki snapped his head to Soul because of what he said out of the blue. “Maybe Chaehyun would know something about it.”

It didn’t take a second thought for Riki to shake his head in disagreement. “No… no way. We’ve barely spoken, why would she like me?”

Soul shrugged. “I’m just throwing out ideas.”

“Well, your idea sucks. There’s no way Y/N could possibly like me.”

It just made no sense. After all, who would want to prank their crush? Wouldn’t it just make them avoid you more? The idea itself was baffling to Riki.

By the end of their hangout, Riki was sure of one thing. He would officially befriend Y/N.

That would surely get her off of his back.

But secretly he knew that he didn’t mind her pranks as much as he thought he did.

୨:୧┈┈┈ · · ┈┈┈୨:୧

4. Castleteria encounter and unwanted realizations.

It was lunchtime at Ever After High, and students of all different fairy tale backgrounds found themselves spending their down time together in the Castleteria. After Karina Queen, daughter of the Evil Queen, normalized people not wanting to follow their destinies, it became less taboo for Royals and Rebels to interact with one another. Headmaster Grimm was still hesitant on the idea, but that didn’t matter. All of the students agreed with one another that they would work on being less cliquey. Wonyoung White and Yujin Hood were seen laughing about something they were watching on the MirrorNet. But about two years ago, Snow White’s daughter and Little Red Riding Hood’s daughter would not have been together at all.

Chaehyun, Ningning, Y/N, and Sullyoon Ella were eating together that day. Y/N wasn’t typically friends with Cinderella’s daughter, but she found her incredibly attractive and alluring to be around. Sullyoon had just finished showing them her new shoe collection when Chaehyun pulled out a book and flipped to a page that was titled-

“True Hearts Day?” Ningning asked, with an eyebrow raised. “What’s that?”

Chaehyun giggled in excitement. “It’s an old holiday where people spellebrated following their hearts! Isn’t it so cool? I’m going to throw a True Hearts Day dance! As a future Cupid, I need to uphold traditions such as these.”

“And Headmaster Grimm just let you?” Sullyoon asked. “He’s not the biggest fan of people following their hearts.”

Chaehyun bit her lip. She wasn’t quite sure how her friends would react to the news but she wanted them to know first. “That’s the thing- he didn’t. I asked him last night and he shut down the idea.”

The three other girls waited for her to continue, as she took a pause to gain courage. “Which means I’m going to do it in secret!”

“And just how would you do that?” Y/N asked, as she flicked food from her spoon in Jay Huntsman’s face. The son of the Huntsman gasped in part annoyance and part shock, before proceeding to speak to the Charmings. Y/N snickered at his disgusted expression. Gotcha.

Chaehyun pulled up a map on her MirrorPhone. It displayed all of the Fairy Tale World, from Never After to the Mirror Realm. She zoomed in on the Enchanted Forest, and pointed at a random spot in the woods. “There’s a place here that I know would work perfectly! I just have to make all the invites, plan what food will be served, set up all the decorations- oh! and I have to make the music mix.”

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” Sullyoon made a sheepish expression as she realized Chaehyun had taken up a lot on her plate, perhaps more than she realized. “I run a shoe store so I’m pretty good at managing.”

It was true, Sullyoon ran a shoe store in the Village of Book End. The Glass Slipper Shoe Store is what she had named the place, and it was a nice store with various kinds of shoes (it was really just heels, but there were many different kinds of heels).

Needing all the help she could get, Chaehyun nodded. “Do you mind handling the decorations? I’ll do everything else.”

Y/N listened silently as the girls began discussing their plans for the True Hearts Day Dance. She considered helping her friends, as she did care a great deal about them, but she wasn’t exactly good at being helpful. It was much easier for her to mess things up rather than fix them.

However she found herself bored by the topic, so she scanned the room to see who she could pull a prank on next.

Yuna Rose? Oh no, she’s fallen asleep again. What about Jake? He’s the best Charming to prank- never mind, he’s talking to Karina. Maybe…

Y/N glanced towards Riki, who she could see leaving the Castleteria. A grin widened across her face as she let her body disappear from her spot on the table- the grin once again being the last part of her to disappear.

Riki, who was frantically walking back to Professor Rumplestiltskin’s classroom in order to turn his paper in on time, tripped over what seemed to be thin air.

But it wasn’t, and that was clear when Y/N suddenly appeared next to him.

“Seriously? Again?” Riki asked, though his tone was slightly playful. He didn’t want to cause an argument- despite the fact that he was feeling slightly annoyed.

He wasn’t too fond of being pranked all the time. But Riki couldn’t blame the girl too much, she was just doing what she had always done. That much he understood about her, having grown up together.

“This is like, the 4th time this week.” Hopefully she could pick up the hints.

“Hey, I had to! The opportunity was just purrfect.” Y/N made a clawing motion as she said that. “You’re not butthurt, are you?”

Riki found himself chuckling at that. She was really funny, that was one of her features that interested him. Not that he was interested in her, but rather sometimes he found his eyes wandering in her direction he found her intriguing. Besides what she portrayed on the outside, what did anyone really know about Y/N Cheshire? Nothing, truly. The more he thought about it the more he wanted to know. “No, I could never. You’re really funny, you know that?”

Y/N’s face faltered for a second, but it was barely noticeable before she held her carefree expression once again.

“Don’t you have a paper to turn in? We wouldn’t want Rumplestiltskin to mark you down.”

“Oh yeah, I should probably go…”

“Catch you later, Wonderland.” Y/N teased, before disappearing once again.

Riki looked down on the essay in his hands before he snapped out of it and went back to turning it in.

Meanwhile, Y/N found herself back on the branch of her favorite tree in the forest. It was the place she would go to when she needed some time for herself.

And time for herself was needed after what had just happened.

Pranking Riki was something she figured wasn’t a big departure from her normal everyday life. She often crossed his path, so it made sense as to why she would choose him as a target. It wasn’t as though she was seeking him out on purpose, or waiting for him to pass by her locker so she could see his adorable expression. Or hear his voice, which she often heard in her dreams. In fact, it was so unlikely to happen that it didn’t. Y/N could barely even recall what his voice sounded like- that’s how uninterested she was in him. She didn’t even remember his name.

Yes, Y/N could care less about Riki. He was barely a thought that crossed her mind. A small, singular speck of an idea that didn’t hold any substance or weight in her world. She couldn’t waste her time with silly little things like love- after all, how could someone like her be worthy of being loved? All she knew how to do was ruin people’s days.

How could she even like him? Y/N barely even knew the boy. All she really knew was that his birthday was on December 9th, his roommate is Beomgyu, he loves riddles, and misses Wonderland, a lot.

Though, she couldn’t forget his tendency to be overly curious like his mother Alice. Or that he started a chess club with Rei due to his smart nature! Or even his eyes that seemed to glisten with a deep passion every time Y/N would look into them. His pink, plump lips that seemed too soft to be real…

Maybe she knew more than she let on.

But that didn’t mean she liked him! It was only because of her observant nature, and the fact that she can easily turn invisible. That makes it easy to people-watch.

Riki wasn’t even worth watching. So really, he was just obvious about everything. Because how else could Y/N know all those facts about him when she didn’t like him at all?

Y/N pulled out a ball of yarn to crochet and get her mind out of the gutter. Her shaking hands picked up the hook- wait, why were her hands shaking?

It was then when she finally felt the warm blush on her cheeks, which she just realized had been sitting on her face since the Castleteria.

Could she be sick?

No, it was something entirely different. Y/N realized it all now.

Each encounter with Riki left her redder than Yujin’s cloak, and her heart racing slightly faster than normal. It was so simple to see, but she had been in denial for so long.

Y/N had a crush on Riki.

Despite the realization, the idea made her feel weirded out. How could she let that happen?! Ever After High wasn’t the place to fall in love. With the majority of the students following their destinies, it wasn’t a shock to discover that Riki would as well. But Y/N could never amount to what he was worth- she was just a side character in his fairy tale. After their storybook ending, he would leave Wonderland and remember all his adventures as a dream. Plus, falling in love was too serious and committing for Y/N. She couldn’t be serious about anything.

But as she spotted her beloved in a faraway distance, she decided to get closer. Inconspicuously, of course.

There he stood as the spring sun shone down on him as if he weren’t real. Riki was only conversing with Beomgyu after turning in his essay, but he seemed to be the most ethereal being Y/N had laid her eyes upon. At one point he had thrown his head back in laughter, which sounded akin to a melody of angels singing in Y/N’s eyes. Everything about him was purrfect.

In a way, maybe falling in love didn’t sound so bad.

୨:୧┈┈┈ · · ┈┈┈୨:୧

5. Staring. Again.

Scratch that, it was a horrible thing to happen. How could she act around Riki the same if she had found out it was because she liked him all along?!

For Y/N, it was just easier to brush her feelings aside and continue doing what was simplest. Despite her love for chaos, she never meant to be truly evil or cause any problems. It’s all done in good fun and everyone knew that. Something as problematic as love was an issue that she never expected she would encounter while attending Ever After High.

But she couldn’t help how she felt and therefore had to come to terms with it all.

“You’re staring… Again~”

Y/N turned around to see Chaehyun giggling at her with a teasing smirk. Although she didn’t specify what exactly Y/N was staring at, the cat girl knew what she was talking about- even if she didn’t realize she was staring until that point. But Y/N would never admit that Chaehyun was right. “Staring? At what?”

The future cupid girl pointed at the object of Y/N’s attention for the past few minutes- as much as she would deny it she knew it was true. “Your future boyfriend!”

“Boyfriend?” Y/N stifled a laugh. “No way, I was just thinking about how to prank him next.”

Chaehyun sighed. She knew Y/N was stubborn but she wasn’t aware of just how stubborn the girl could be. Anyone with eyes could tell that Y/N looked at Riki with nothing but love in her eyes- so why did she deny it?

Chaehyun had no doubt it had anything to do with her feelings on her destiny.

Her eyes flitted over to something behind Y/N for a split second before she looked back at her.

“Oh! That reminds me, I have to go set up some things for True Hearts Day. I’ll see you in class, yeah?” Y/N lazily waved at her friend and watched her walk off. Just as Chaehyun had left, Y/N felt a hesitant tap on her shoulder.

Not liking the idea of someone being behind her, she quickly evaporated and appeared once again right behind the person who had tapped her. It was Riki.

“Riki Wonderland?” Y/N had teleported so fast that Riki had heard her voice behind her before even seeing her disappear. “What, cat got your tongue?”

The boy rolled his eyes at her corny joke. “Very funny. I just wanted to give you these.” Y/N looked down at his hands and saw a freshly baked batch of cookies. Had he… made them for her himself? For some reason, the idea of Riki spending some of his own time in the kitchen baking cookies especially for her made her feel warm and fuzzy inside. “My mom sent me some from back home and I wanted to give them to the Wonderland kids…”

Oh, yeah that made sense. For a moment, it almost felt as though Riki cared about her. Y/N wasn’t sure why she let herself get her hopes up so easily- what was happening? The sight of Riki made her feel so… so giddy. Perhaps realizing her feelings wasn’t such a smart move after all. She found herself acting out of character and thinking all kinds of thoughts.

“Hello? Y/N?” Riki waved a hand to her face, which snapped her out of her thoughts. She could only hope that her attraction wasn’t obvious from her facials.

Y/N slowly grabbed a cookie from the plate. It was soft and warm- it felt like home. “Cookies, for me?” Her gaze moved its way upwards until it found itself on Riki’s face. “Are they poisoned or something?”

“Is it so hard to believe someone wants to do something nice for you?” Riki said jokingly as he sighed. Grabbing a cookie from the container, he took Y/N’s hand in his own and opened it up to place another cookie in her hand. “Just take it, Y/N. After all, we’re friends aren’t we?”

Just for a second, Y/N could feel her carefree facade fade into his presence. Friends? Had he really considered them friends all along? But just as quickly as it went, her guise had come back. “Are we, Wonderland? I don’t know if you knew this, but we never even talked to each other before this year.”

“Well, you never really seemed to be fond of me. For whatever reason that is, I like to think of it as water under the bridge.” Riki smiled. “After all, I’ve considered us friends ever since we were young. Even though we didn’t talk back then, I still feel that we gained an understanding of one another after that night we spent together. Don’t you remember?”

So… he does remember?

Just as Y/N was about to ask the reason as to why they never spoke often after that night, the night that had felt special to her, she stopped herself. She didn’t want to come off as overly curious, even if that was what she truly was.

And besides, she preferred not to hear him say that she was the problem all along.

Satisfied with their newfound status of friendship, Y/N gave him a smile. A genuine smile. Her first real one in such a while. “You flatter me, Wonderland. Hopefully my nature doesn’t make you change your mind.”

The boy nodded and gave her a smirk. “I’ve grown accustomed to how you are so whatever it is you think would drive me away is something I’ve mentally prepared for.”

Wanting to mess with him for a bit, Y/N stepped slightly closer to Riki. “Oh, really? You think too much of yourself and too little of me.”

Riki bent down while maintaining eye contact with the girl. His height was truly impressive. “I don’t think you’re as threatening or scary as you think you are.”

As besotted with the boy Y/N was, she didn’t take it lightly when people underestimated her. It was something her mother did often and something that she was tired of feeling used to.

Y/N knew very well how capable she was of more than what she let on. She just hadn’t utilized it yet.

So the cat girl found herself formulating a plan in her head to prove it all wrong.

After all, Y/N Cheshire was a rebel. Stubbornness and pride were her best virtues.

She quickly teleported behind Riki and whispered a ‘boo’ to startle him- and startled he was.

“And I don’t think you know as much about me as you think you do.”

“You’re staring, Riki.”

The son of Alice left his train of thoughts as his best friend snuck up behind him. It was a week after he had officially befriended Y/N and the boy found her on his mind quite often. His curiosity of her shone brighter after she had challenged him. Of course he knew it was all in good fun, and they had been talking more casually ever since that day. During classes, during passing periods, and occasionally he would sit with her during lunch. They discussed many topics, just about anything that crossed their minds at the time. The two found it easy to fall into step with one another.

Y/N even found herself calming her catty personality when she was with Riki. It was surprising, because she hadn’t even done that with Ningning or Chaehyun. Why did she act in such a way with a boy?

As much as she wanted to deny it, Y/N knew Riki was the last person she wanted to think badly of her. Because of that, she had slowly stopped doing the small, petty pranks on him. She figured that the more she did them, the more annoyed he would get with her. Y/N decided that the prank she was planning for him would be the last one she would do. Ever.

It begged the question, why had they postponed this friendship for so long? They definitely had a connection with one another and found it very simple to get along. Conversation came easily. It made no sense as to why it had taken 17 years to get to the point where they stood currently.

Riki knew it was something on both ends. He could tell that not just one party was to blame. Because he did make efforts to speak to her on occasion, but at the same time she did as well. It was just that when a conversation was started, the other would have trouble continuing it. Perhaps it was some sort of subconscious fear.

Whatever it was, that was all in the past. It was the current day and Y/N Cheshire and Riki Wonderland had become friends.

“Riki?”

The boy brought himself out of his thoughts once more as his best friend waved a hand in front of his face. “You zoned out again. Why do you keep staring at Y/N?“

That was the question Riki kept asking himself. “It’s not on purpose. At least, I don’t think. Maybe she just happens to be there.”

“You sound unsure.” Soul said in a thoughtful manner. The cogs in his head began to turn. “Maybe… Oh my gosh- do you like Y/N?”

The thought was baffling. “Like? Of course not! I just find her… interesting.”

“Right, that’s why you’re friends with her now. Because you find her interesting.” Soul teased. That was one thing that Riki disliked about his best friend, that he was so determined in his ideals that he had to see them through each time. “How did you even come to like her? She’s not exactly your type.”

“Well that’s just it I’m not sure how-“ Riki began, but then stopped once he realized what he was unconsciously admitting.

Soul smirked. “Go on.”

Riki let out a sigh and finally let his guard down. “I don’t really know how it started. My interest in her, that is. I’m not too sure if I would classify it as a crush or anything of that sort but I guess one day my eyes just started to drift in her direction?”

He sort of lied. Riki knew that it was because of that night when they were 11, ever since he noticed something different about her. When he listened to her talk, he could tell that she had some sort of sadness about her that she could never quite talk about.

It made him curious.

A wistful breath came out of Souls mouth. “How romantic. I love unlikely romances, they’re very interesting. I suppose it was about time you found someone you were interested in.” He patted a hand on his friends back in congratulations. “Are you going to do something about it?”

“No, definitely not. At least- not until I figure out if what I’m feeling is really romantic or just a friendly interest.”

Just as Soul was about to respond, someone tapped on Riki’s shoulder. “Hey!” They both turned around to be faced with Chaehyun.

“Okay so keep it hush, especially to Headmaster Grimm, but I’m setting up a dance to spellebrate True Hearts Day. Everyone’s invited!” Chaehyun handed them both envelopes. The envelopes were lathered in pink and had their names on it. “True Hearts Day was a holiday where people spellebrated following their true hearts desire, and Headmaster Grimm has banned us from even knowing about it.”

“That tracks. Ever since Karina did what she did last year, he’s been trying to silence us now more than ever.” Riki stated.

“Exactly. Which is why this dance is a secret from him and will be held in a location he doesn’t know about.” Chaehyun smiled. “Will you be there?”

“Of course!” Soul nudged Riki. “We’ll both go.”

A cheer emitted from Chaehyun’s throat before she went to pass out more invitations.

For Riki, he knew what he had to do before the dance. He would have to discover how he felt about Y/N.

Because if he had a crush, then he would ask her to go with him.

On the other side of the lockers, Y/N stared at the concoction in her hands. It was nothing less than ugly. But it was beautiful work, and ideas bloomed through her mind as she thought about what to do with it.

“And you’re doing this… to prove a point?” Ningning asked, as she recounted what Y/N had told her moments prior. “Isn’t that a bit… far?”

“It’s just a little prank! I’ve done far worse to him before.” Y/N rolled her eyes. “Besides, do I need a reason to prank someone? I’m the d-“

“-daughter of the Cheshire Cat, I know. But do you need to be so proud of it?”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Ningning sighed. “All I’m saying is… you could at least know when to draw the line.”

Y/N gave it a bit of a thought. Draw the line? It wasn’t that simple for her. Y/N was just doing what she had always done. No one had ever told her when to stop, and no one had ever told her how to behave otherwise. How could she ever know otherwise? And at the end of the day, it was all just for a good laugh!

Of course, she knew Ningning had a point. She wasn’t an idiot- she could tell that people weren’t too fond of her. Though they never stated it outright, Y/N knew that her fun had stained people’s impressions of her.

But it was all she was good for.

And besides, wouldn’t Riki laugh at a prank such as this? He always did get a chuckle out of her mischief. The idea of making him laugh with that infectious laugh of his burned through Y/N’s mind.

“I’ll draw the line when I want to draw the line.”

With that, Y/N disappeared- leaving Ningning to stare at the spot where she once stood and sigh.

This is going to take a lot of work… I’m going to need to-

“Hey Ning!”

Ningning looked behind her to see Chaehyun approaching with an armful of envelopes. “Have you seen Y/N? I need to give her one of the invitations as well but I haven’t seen her around all day.”

“You just missed her, but I can hold onto the envelope and give it to her when we’re together.” Ningning smiled at her friend who she had just noticed had a troubled expression on her face.

“Cool! While we’re together, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Me too. Can we talk somewhere private?”

“You read my mind.”

୨:୧┈┈┈ · · ┈┈┈୨:୧

6. He was a star, and she was anything but.

Y/N wished her mother didn’t call as often as she did.

The two were having one of their weekly calls through the MirrorPhone, and Y/N wasn’t sure if she could take one more second of her mother’s incessant nagging. Usually she could handle it, but for some reason she seemed to be more overbearing than usual.

And most of the time, she only called to see what pranks she was pulling and not to actually talk to her.

“You’re only pulling baby pranks, darling.” The Cheshire Cat spoke while filing her nails. “You should be able to do better. After all, this is all you’re good for anyways.”

This is all you’re good for.

It didn’t help her self worth when her own mother pressured her in that way.

Y/N sighed and bit her tongue. She couldn’t speak up to her mother, not when she was one of the only people she could trust. “But I can’t really do much when I’m at school, mother.”

The woman paused her nail filing to give her daughter a slight glare. “Then that means you’re not good enough.”

Y/N felt her words get choked up in her throat. “I’m trying my best!” Attempting to hold back tears, Y/N disliked how her mother spoke to her oftentimes. She figured she could handle it since it was her mother, but at some point it just became too much.

“Try harder sweetie.” The Cheshire Cat gave her a sickly sweet smile. “Be honest, is a boy distracting you?”

Yes.

“Of course not, mother.” Y/N stated.

Though, one thing she had forgotten about was her tendency to lick her lips a bit more than usual when she lied. And one thing her mother did right was notice the small things about her.

The Cheshire Cat gasped. “There is a boy!” She pondered on this idea for a second, examining her daughter through the MirrorPhone. She had made it a point to Y/N that boys would only get in the way and that romance shouldn’t be on her mind throughout high school, and she would stand by that point no matter what. But perhaps what her daughter needed was a push in the wrong direction. “Tell me, who is he? And how did it happen?”

Y/N knew she couldn’t lie anymore to her mother, so she decided to come clean. Despite their strained relationship, wouldn’t it feel nice to be able to discuss her feelings with someone?

Her mother was harsh and cruel, but she wasn’t a monster. Surely she would be able to help.

The only problem was that she didn’t know where to begin. After all, she didn’t even know where her feelings began. Was it that day by the front of the school where she realized she liked him? Or was there a time before then that she had caught feelings without even knowing? As someone who didn’t receive much love growing up and had never liked anyone else, it was hard to tell.

She thought back to all the times she had interacted with Riki. Perhaps there was a common denominator between each moment, one that could pinpoint a beginning.

It was then that she realized that there was a certain moment that stood in the back of her mind whenever Riki was around (or when she thought about him).

It was after a fight Y/N had with her mother when she was 11. At one point, she became too stressed with all the expectations the Cheshire Cat had on her, and certain feelings began to bubble up within her. It came to a stop when her and her mother had blown up on each other and things got too tense for Y/N to stay at home. Without her dad present, it was tough having to live with someone who both expected so much of you but also didn’t believe you were worth anything.

Due to her conflicting feelings, she ended up running out of the house in an attempt to find somewhere to calm down. Though in Wonderland, there weren’t many options. No matter where you went there was bound to be chaos.

So Y/N ran. She found herself running and running until she could find somewhere to sit peacefully and stay unbothered. It was just too much for her 11 year old brain to stay in such a place that fostered a toxic mindset.

And eventually, she found a spot. It was nearby the portal between Wonderland and Ever After, so perhaps part of that world was seeping into Wonderland. Whatever it was, she had found a hilltop so hidden from the rest of Wonderland that there was practically no noise. It was so high above the world that one wrong step and Y/N would be falling to her death. From where Y/N was curled up within the trees, she could see the stars.

Y/N loved stargazing. It was something that she couldn’t do often but loved doing while she could. With all the pressures from her mom and herself, something she could count on to be a constant was looking at the stars. The way the shimmer of the stars starkly contrasted the gloom of the night sky- she felt that she could easily get lost in its beauty. Not only were they beautiful, but there was something about the way the stars twinkled that made her want to shine just as brightly. Each star perfectly had its own place amongst the sky… could she be like that too? Was there somewhere she could have her own place in? In another world, Y/N was a star. She wanted to be able to contribute to a bigger picture, and not just be a side character in another’s story. Perhaps when she died, she could be reincarnated as a star. Was that even possible?

Until then she would stay down on the ground, waiting to take her place amongst the stars.

Y/N was so entranced by her own thoughts that she didn’t notice a figure slowly come into her view.

“Is there any more room up here?” The voice said.

Out of instinct, Y/N gasped and quickly disappeared. It was a defense mechanism that had become a habit when she learned to control her powers.

But as her vision started to focus once more and she reappeared, Y/N realized who it was.

Riki Wonderland.

Confused, she raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing. This is my spot.” He said in such confidence. “I found it years ago and I’ve been coming here to stargaze ever since.”

Riki stargazed? Y/N couldn’t see that as something befitting of his character.

“I just wanted to get out of the house, I guess.” Y/N shrugged. “So, you stargaze?”

“It’s just something I realized I enjoyed after the first time I did it.” Riki stated, a small smile placed upon his face that Y/N had never seen before.

Not wanting to be a nuisance, Y/N sat up. “Well if you’re here now, I might as well just leave. Have fun with your stars, Wonderland.”

Before Y/N could disappear, Riki grabbed her arm. “Wait,” the girl looked into his eyes as she decided to hear out what he had to say. “you should stay. It’s not like I own this place anyways.”

It wasn’t that she disliked Riki, and in all honesty she found him rather cute. But wouldn’t it be awkward if it was just the two of them? Y/N didn’t have an easy time socializing with people either way, but with Riki it would be even harder. It was awkward knowing that they were so close to being friends but it had never happened. But with the pleading look in his eyes, how could she say no?

There was something about him that made her soft.

Y/N sighed and slowly agreed. If Riki wanted her there, perhaps she should stay. So the two laid on opposite sides of the branch together, and silently looked up at a world they could only dream of being a part of.

After some time, Riki opened his mouth. “I know I already asked this earlier, but why did you come here? You know, to stargaze.” As if he wasn’t satisfied with her answer.

He was right in thinking that her answer wasn’t what she truly wanted to say, but it just felt awkward to give an exact reason. Her relationship with her mom was something she could barely tell her only 3 friends about, let alone someone she barely considered an acquaintance.

But Y/N knew Riki was a reliable guy; she had heard it often from Soul, Rei, and Giselle. And maybe for once she would let herself put faith into another person.

“I’ll only tell you if you tell me why you like stargazing.”

Riki blew out a breath in thought. “Hm… I don’t know if I can give an exact reason for that. I was just bored one day and ended up coming across this place. That’s what made me stargaze, but something about it just felt so comforting to me that I wanted to do it more often.” He answered, a soft smile gracing his lips. “But that’s not exactly a good reason.”

“I think it suits you.” Y/N whispered out. “I’m sure you have your own stresses with being the son of Alice in Wonderland. It would make sense that having a hobby like this to come back to is something you enjoy.”

He pondered on it for a moment. Maybe she was right. He then chuckled at this side of her he had never seen before. “You’re a lot more poetic than you let on. Anyways I answered your question, can you answer mine?”

Y/N considered answering it, she truly did, but as much as she wanted to open up there was the side of her that wanted to keep everything inside. Her mother had always told her that vocalizing your feelings does nothing good and only makes people pity you.

One thing Y/N despised was being pitied. It only reminded her of how her mother referred to her as a ‘pitiful girl’ and how she would amount to nothing.

So she slowly shook her head. “No, I don’t think I can.”

Riki felt himself beginning to sit up to look at the girl. There was something off about her. The way she spoke to him and the way that she carried herself… she wasn’t acting as she always had. Normal Y/N would be more playful and even mischievous. But now, there was a certain sadness in her entire being that seemed to be throwing her off her rhythm. And it only made Riki more and more curious about her.

“Okay, I get it. You don’t have to tell me.” Riki smiled, before continuing. “I just hope it doesn’t take away your chaotic spirit. You know, I kind of like that about you.”

A sigh left Y/N’s lips at his words. “You don’t mean that, Wonderland.”

“I mean every word, Cheshire.”

Y/N could only roll her eyes before slowly evaporating into the night, using her invisibility and teleportation to finally go back home.

Left lingering in the air was her Cheshire’s smile, which disappeared last and left Riki staring at the wisps of where she had sat only moments prior.

Maybe it made sense that Riki enjoyed stargazing. In a way, there was something about him that was made of the stars. No matter what he did, he always seemed to shine brighter than all the others. There was something about Riki that felt that he belonged up in the sky, giving life to the night and adding a certain glimmer to the auras.

Riki had his own place amongst the sky, and she wished she could be like that too. But after speaking to him, maybe there was nowhere she could have her own place in. Y/N could only wait for the day that she could contribute to a bigger picture, and take a larger part in his story. After all, she had always wanted her own place within the stars.

But for now, all she could do was hope she would become more than just the Cheshire Cat’s daughter.

Y/N carefully recounted her memories from that night, and how it had stuck with her and unknowingly fostered her feelings for Riki. As she told the story, she didn’t seem to notice the Cheshire Cat don a mischievous smile.

If her daughter wasn’t going to improve on her own, then she would have to make her improve.

୨:୧┈┈┈ · · ┈┈┈୨:୧

7. “You…r opinion?”

Liz had a habit of expecting the worst out of most situations. Perhaps it came from the fact that her destiny involved bears… big scary bears… but it was understandable. Bears weren’t known for being the most gentle creatures, after all.

So when she noticed a suspicious vial of liquid in Y/N’s bag during their Advanced Ballet class, Liz’s mind raced with negative thoughts. What was she up to? Did it have anything to do with pranking? Or maybe it was for a class assignment?

Liz truly didn’t mean to think the worst of Y/N, but she couldn’t exactly help it. Being kind wasn’t exactly in her forte and Liz was too much of a paranoid person to ignore seeing that vial.

But she also didn’t want to profile the girl for doing something that she wasn’t going to do in the first place. Liz knew that doing so wasn’t just right. So she looked around the room to see if anyone had seen her internal battle. Deciding that it had gone unnoticed, Goldilocks’ daughter let out a shaky breath and continued to practice her jetés.

“Are you still going to-” Ningning said, but paused when she realized she was being a bit too loud- especially considering the subject of the conversation was in that very room. Why was he there anyways? He didn’t even take Advanced Ballet… “Are you still going to prank Riki?” She continued in a hushed whisper.

Y/N giggled at Ningning’s apparent stress. Although she disliked making her friends upset, it was still sort of funny that she had that effect on them. “Well, I don’t see why I shouldn’t.”

Ningning frowned. “Well first of all, it’s rude.”

“Hey, if you’re not funny just say that!”

“Be serious…” Y/N made a hand movement indicating that she was shutting her mouth. Ningning then continued with her list. “It causes unnecessary problems. And besides, Riki isn’t going to like y-”

“What about Riki?”

Y/N and Ningning’s heads swiftly turned to face the voice- it was Beomgyu and Riki. Y/N could see Ningning get a little shy for reasons she decided to ignore. Beomgyu? Really? You can do better Ning…

“Don’t think you’re all that, Wonderland.” Y/N grinned. “We were talking about Ricky Jester.”

Beomgyu groaned. “Ugh, I hate that guy. He’s so annoying, I mean, we don’t care th-” His rant was cut short when Riki pressed a hand against Beomgyu’s mouth. “Thanks man, I forgot he’s in this class.”

Ningning chuckled. “Don’t be such a hater, Beomgyu.”

Ningning and Beomgyu proceeded to start their own conversation, with Beomgyu whispering to her all the things he found wrong with Ricky. Y/N felt happy for her friend in that moment, and let a small smile show on her face. It wasn’t intentional, and in fact she hadn’t even noticed it was there. But someone else noticed.

Riki couldn’t deny that he felt a certain emotion bubble in his stomach when he saw the genuine happiness on Y/N’s face. Y/N, the same girl who was often cold and didn’t show any of her softer emotions. Something about that made her happiness reflect onto him.

It was odd. He enjoyed seeing her in such a state, but he figured he felt more than he should have in that circumstance. Why did he feel like that?

No, Riki wasn’t dumb and he wasn’t the type to lie about his feelings. He could tell exactly what it was.

But was he pleased with the outcome? Riki wasn’t sure. Though he told himself that he would come to terms with whatever decision he made about his feelings on Y/N, it was easier said than done. After all, he knew that being romantically involved with the girl would come with work. A lot of work. He was also worried that everything was too rushed, and that he wasn’t thinking straight. Maybe his thought process was clouded with what he thought he wanted to happen.

Once again, the H/C female was left to her own thoughts- which obviously drifted to the boy next to her. She couldn't help it. He made her rather stable heart go all crazy when he was around.

Thoughts of confessing were brought up, but then immediately shut down because of how ridiculous it sounded. The idea of Riki having mutual feelings towards her seemed so out of the ballpark. After all, it was her. She was someone who had trouble facing her own feelings, and put up a front to hide all her troubles and insecurities. Riki always seemed put together. How could a guy such as himself possibly think about dating her?

At the same time of Y/N having doubts in her head, Riki had finally come to a conclusion. He pondered on it for a while, and he knew it was too obvious to ignore.

Riki liked Y/N.

It made him wonder, how long had he felt that way? He couldn’t help but think of the possibility of his crush starting even back then, on the day that he and Y/N shared under the stars.

He wondered if being hyper aware of Y/N and all that she does was because he liked her, or because he was a naturally curious person. He also wondered if him noticing the way her hair fell behind her ears was also because he liked her.

“Hey Riki, I have a question.” Y/N started, her cat-like eyes closing to a slant. “Why are you in our class today? I didn’t think someone like you would take Advanced Ballet. Don’t you dance hip hop?”

Snapping out of his thoughts, Riki considered the question. Why was he there? The simple answer was because Beomgyu, who actually did take the class, invited him to join since Riki had a free period.

But he thought back to the moment that Beomgyu asked, and what he said that got him to go.

“You know a lot of people in that class, actually.” Beomgyu said before listing off the people he could recall. “Liz, Ricky, Yuna, Wonyoung, Jake, Ningning, Y/N-”

Of course, Riki remembered. All the other names seemed to fade as he heard that last one.

“It was because of you-” Riki blurted out, without even thinking. He had to save himself before Y/N could catch onto his mistake. “-your opinion. I.. wanted to get your opinion on my outfit today since you’re very straightforward.”

What?! Why did I say that?

Slightly disappointed at his answer, Y/N looked at the boy up and down. Her opinion? He looked cute. As always.

“It’s hideous.”

A smirk made its way to Y/N’s face even though she didn’t agree with what she said. Though she usually acted calmer around Riki, teasing him every now and then didn’t do any harm.

“Hideous?! Hey, it’s really not that bad.” Riki chuckled. “It’s literally just an oversized jacket and baggy jeans!”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Um, don’t forget that you asked for my opinion, Wonderland.”

“And your opinion is wrong.” Riki said. “Also why do you call me Wonderland all the time?”

Beomgyu looked over at Y/N and Riki. He noticed the way they conversed, and how Y/N’s expression seemed softer than normal despite her mischievous jabs. He also picked up on Riki’s facials, and how his eyes seemed to sparkle in a certain way that Beomgyu had never seen before. It was interesting to see how his aura changed in the slightest when he was with Y/N.

Without realizing, Beomgyu was staring at Y/N while thinking about how glad he was that Riki found someone he liked.

He glanced over at Ningning to see if she had seen it as well, but stopped his trailing eyes when he noticed Riki giving him a weird face. Did he do something wrong?

Under the impression that Beomgyu was staring at Y/N because he was interested, Riki felt a wave of jealousy wash over his system. He never considered himself the possessive type, however, he had just realized his feelings for Y/N. It made sense that his brain was scattered and his emotions left him rather vulnerable.

For once in his life, Riki felt himself getting jealous of one of his friends. It wasn’t an instance that occurred often, as Riki knew he was a rather fortunate guy and that he had a lot to be grateful for, but he couldn’t help it this time.

Falling for Y/N Cheshire, Riki knew, came with a lot of work. He knew she had a lot of mental troubles she would need to work through, and Riki himself needed to navigate through these unfamiliar emotions.

It was work, but Riki was willing to put in the work for Y/N.

Amongst all the newfound realizations and bubbling emotions, one girl snuck away from her spot next to the group. She had been eavesdropping on their conversation for longer than intended, but what really stuck with her was what Ningning and Y/N discussed in the beginning.

Y/N… pranking Riki again?

Maybe it wasn’t anything to worry about. After all, she did prank Riki rather often. It was well known amongst the student body.

But she couldn’t shake the unsettling feeling that came over her body when she thought about what Y/N could possibly do, and the guilt that she would feel if she didn’t at least try to stop it.

Though she held a certain degree of respect for Y/N, one thing the girl stood heavily for was justice. As soon as she was far away from the group she pulled out her phone and went into Riki’s contact.

“Hey Riki, it’s me. Liz.”

୨:୧┈┈┈ · · ┈┈┈୨:୧

8. You make everyone miserable.

During the day time, it was common for Ever After High students to meet up at Hocus Latte. It was a common hang out spot between friends, though oftentimes if a girl asked a guy or vice versa people would assume it was for a date.

That was why Riki felt conflicted when he read Liz’s text.

‘I need to talk to you. Meet me at Hocus Latte at 3 p.m for a quick chat’ He reread to confirm the meeting time.

On one hand it made sense, because Yuna Rose worked there and the two were rather close. But did she not think about the message she might have accidentally sent? Riki tried not to think about it too deeply because he doubted Liz had a crush on him.

As he sat inside Hocus Latte waiting for Liz to arrive, his phone vibrated indicating he had received another text.

‘Actually I might be running late because there were some technical troubles for my MirrorCast show, but I sent over one of my friends to keep you company. Sorry about that!’

A wave of nervousness washed over his body as he read over her text. Who did she send? Riki didn’t usually find it hard to get along with others, but not knowing who he was going to have to hang out with gave him an unsettling feeling. His mind racked through the roster of Liz’s friends, and who she was most likely to send.

It’s definitely not Yuna because she’s working right now, maybe Jake? But he works for her MirrorCast show and if they were having technical troubles then she probably would have him help. What about Wonyoung- actually no, he could only hope it wasn’t her. The daughter of Snow White was someone he found rather intimidating, despite how nice she genuinely was.

As Riki pondered over the possibilities, he noticed a familiar form come into his view.

“You look stupid sitting here alone.”

Riki looked up and noticed Y/N’s signature Cheshire grin, something he hadn’t seen since they had become friends but he surely missed. He enjoyed the calm(ish) side of her that she had been presenting to him as of late, but he couldn’t help but miss the side of her that interested him in the first place. Though whatever side Y/N wanted to show him was one he was willing to accept.

He felt his heart pick up its pace as Y/N sat in the empty chair. His entire mind had been consumed by her, thinking about her almost every waking hour ever since he realized his crush on her. But despite that, he hadn’t actually expected to see her. They were good friends but the silly, fluttery feelings he felt for her still made being around her both exciting and difficult.

“Did Liz send you here?” Riki asked with a raised eyebrow. “I didn’t know you guys were friends.”

Y/N giggled. “Oh yeah, her and I are like this!” She crossed her fingers to indicate that they were close. “She loves me so much she made a MirrorCast episode about me!”

Riki remembered watching that episode, perhaps more so than he should’ve. Looking back on it, the signs that he had feelings for her were obvious. He just didn’t notice.

What happened is in the past. Now that I know I like her, I’m going to pursue her.

“It makes sense, I mean, you are a likable person.” Riki said, before taking a sip of her drink. Before Y/N could vocalize her confusion, he spoke once more. “Do you want a drink? I can order you one.”

“Oh, I’m good.” Not dropping her smirk, Y/N winked at Riki. “I already ordered one anyways.”

As Riki was about to ask what she meant, she had already turned herself intangible and disappeared. Moments passed with Riki just looking around and waiting for Y/N to come back, and eventually she did.

With a drink.

“How did you get that?”

“I ordered it, duh.” Y/N wore an expression that read ‘obviously’.

If anyone bothered to look in the back of the cafe, they would see Yuna in the kitchen covered in water and the drink she just finished making gone from her hands.

For unrelated reasons, of course.

Riki could tell that she hadn’t just ordered the drink, but he wasn’t about to point that out. He knew that Y/N could be annoying at times, but he knew she would never cross the line. He trusted her not to do that because he knew deep down, despite everything, she was a good person.

“Did you finish your Chemythstry paper?” Riki asked, changing the subject. “I heard from Jay that Rumplestiltskin is grading it harder than our past papers because he wants us to fail. That way if we ask for extra credit, he can punish us and make us spin straw into gold for him. Isn’t that sick in the head?”

Y/N stifled a laugh as she thought about their professor. “Really? That’s kind of funny, actually.”

Rolling his eyes in a teasing manner, Riki smiled. “Right, I forgot that’s pretty on brand for you. Just wait until he asks you to do it, maybe it won’t be funny then.”

“Please, Rumplestiltskin loves me.” Y/N said, emphasizing the ‘love’. “And even if he tried to fail me I would just turn it into a passing grade without him seeing.”

“I remember when you fell asleep in his class and he just let you sleep. If that were any one of us, he would’ve yelled in our faces.” Riki reminisced.

Y/N stuck her tongue out at him. “It must suck not being the favorite.”

“I’ll have you know Pied Piper loves me.”

“That’s not a flex… Everytime he plays the trumpet, rats fall from the sky. And for some reason he keeps doing it??”

“At least my professor is taller than 4 feet.”

“At least mine doesn’t like classic rock.”

“Isn’t your mom friends with Pied Piper?”

“So? That doesn’t mean I have to like him…”

The two went back and forth for a while, though it was all in good fun. It felt nice to be able to banter and tease each other and know that neither of them meant any harm by it.

Riki enjoyed speaking to Y/N, because he thought she was fun. Y/N enjoyed speaking to Riki, because she felt that she could be herself around him.

Though, all good things must come to an end. Y/N felt one of her senses pick up suddenly, and she realized her time with Riki was one of those good things.

She had to leave before Liz noticed she was there.

“It’s been fun, Wonderland, but I have to dip.” Y/N said. “Duty calls, you know?”

Before he could utter out a ‘bye’, Y/N had already disappeared and was out of his sight.

Moments after, Liz finally arrived.

“Hi Riki! Sorry for running late, there was this whole thing with the routers and Jake kept accidentally breaking things and-”

Riki waved it off before she could continue to ramble. “It’s alright! Thank you for sending someone to keep me company, it was fun.”

Liz smiled knowing that she did something helpful. “I’m glad, Chae was excited even though I asked her last minute. Weird, right? I didn’t realize you guys were friends.”

As Liz continued on about how Chaehyun was willing to drop what she was doing to accompany Riki, he paused. Did she say Chaehyun?

Didn’t she send Y/N?

“Wait, Chaehyun?” Riki asked, hoping he hadn’t heard the name incorrectly.

Confused, Liz stopped what she was saying to clarify. “Yes? She was the one I asked. Did she not tell you that?”

The pieces finally clicked in Riki’s head, and he felt a bit dumb for not noticing it sooner. Suspicious behavior was all a part of Y/N’s character but she hadn’t been acting in such a way as of late. For her to come and suddenly revert back to that was something that Riki should’ve thought about. That paired with her leaving so suddenly…

But one thing didn’t make sense, why did Y/N come instead of Chaehyun in the first place?

Before Liz could comment on Riki’s prolonged silence, he awkwardly laughed. “Sorry, yeah. Chaehyun mentioned it, I just thought you said Chaewon and I wanted to clarify.”

Whatever the reason was for Y/N to lie, he figured outing her to Liz wouldn’t be helpful.

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

“Oh right!” Liz jumped up, almost having forgotten why she wanted to meet with Riki in the first place. “I overheard something during Advanced Ballet, and I just wanted to tell you about it because I think you deserve to know.”

Advanced Ballet? Oh right, Liz was in Y/N and Beomgyu’s class. He recalled seeing her for a brief moment that day when he crashed their lesson.

The way she was putting everything made Riki slightly nervous, but he could only hope it wasn’t anything too bad. “Okay, what is it?”

“I saw a weird vial of liquid in Y/N’s bag, and I overheard her talking to Ningning about wanting to prank you. I know she pranks you often, but I just didn’t feel right seeing all that and not doing anything about it.”

Riki let out a laugh at what she said. “Thank you for being concerned, but she always does this and I’m okay with that. I know she would never cross the line.”

“That’s good! I just wanted to let you know so you could prepare if anything.” Liz smiled, glad he had taken it so well. She knew that Riki and Y/N were decent friends so she didn’t feel particularly worried about the fact that he was alright with her. “I also know Beomgyu was mentioning to Ningning that you were sick of getting pranked, so I wanted to make sure it wasn’t anything-” She paused what she was saying when a memory popped into her head. “Wait, I just remembered something. Did you know Beomgyu has a crush on Y/N?”

Riki felt his heart stop when Liz said those words.

Beomgyu had a crush on Y/N? His Y/N? How could he!

Of course Riki never vocalized his crush on her, but he had hoped that Beomgyu would be able to notice.

“O-Oh, does he really?” Riki nervously laughed, trying not to let his disappointment show. It would be embarrassing if Liz found out Riki felt the same. “He never told me that…”

“He never said it explicitly, but when he and Ningning were talking I saw him look over at Y/N a lot. He was probably asking Ningning for help on how to ask her out, since she’s one of Y/N’s best friends.” Liz chuckled. “Isn’t it so cute! I think they fit each other well. Don’t you? Maybe he’ll ask her to the True Hearts Day dance!”

No, they don’t fit each other at all. Beomgyu was annoying and stupid, and Y/N was funny and smart. She was far too beautiful on the inside to be with someone who often stole food from the Castleteria.

Riki didn’t care that Y/N also stole food. To him, it was only alright when she did it. Everything in his eyes was alright when it was done by Y/N.

But regardless, Riki didn’t want Y/N to be stunted by being with Beomgyu. He loved his friend, but he knew that he had a lot of room to mature before he gave his heart to another.

At the end of the day, Riki knew one thing and that was that he was the only one fit for Y/N.

Because he liked her. No, maybe even loved.

Though, he couldn’t admit that. Not now. “Yeah, they would look great.” He said through gritted teeth.

After wrapping up their conversation Liz and Riki decided to walk back to Ever After High together. It was getting late, and Riki was worried about Liz getting back safely.

And as much as he tried to be present in whatever Liz was saying about how to make the best porridge, he just couldn’t pay attention. All he could think about was Beomgyu and Y/N being together. The thought made him sick to his stomach. The idea of them holding hands… whispering sweet nothings into each others’ ears… kissing- It was all too much. He couldn’t stand thinking about it, yet he was addicted to the thought. He kept thinking up different scenarios that would occur if the two ever started dating.

While distracted, Riki felt a gust of wind blow behind him. He tried not to think too much about it but it felt a little unsettling.

He brushed it off, and tried to pay attention to what Liz was rambling about.

“-and then you have to drizzle it with honey! But the honey you get has to be just right, it can’t be too sweet but it also can’t be too flavorless. So that’s something you have to think about.” Liz stopped for a moment when she noticed that Riki wasn’t exactly paying attention. “Hey, are you okay?”

Riki was about to respond, however he was interrupted when he heard a familiar giggle fill the air. Suddenly, he felt a hole open up underneath him until he eventually fell through, falling for about 10 feet before he landed on hard rock.

“Riki, are you okay?!” Liz shouted from above. She looked around where she found a rope on the ground next to a tree, so she picked it up and threw it down to Riki to help him up. “What the hell happened??”

Still shaken up, Riki brushed the dirt off his clothes as he climbed up the rope. “I… I have no idea. One moment I was standing and all of a sudden I was on the ground.”

Once he got back onto the surface, the adrenaline eventually went away and he could finally feel the pain shoot up his ankle.

A giggle was heard from a distance, the same giggle that Riki had heard moments prior to falling. It was a little too familiar for his liking, and he hoped that it wasn’t who he thought it was.

“What happened to you, Wonderland?”

Riki and Liz looked to the side and Riki felt his heart drop for the second time that day.

There Y/N stood, looking cute and innocent as ever, as if she wasn’t causing a storm to brew within Riki’s heart.

Was she the one who made him fall?

“Why are you asking when you’re the one who did this?” Riki muttered, hurt shown on his face.

The previously lighthearted expression on Y/N’s face slowly shifted into a confused one. What was he talking about? “Well, I’m flattered you think I’m capable of something like this but I don’t even know what happened to you.”

“Don’t lie, don’t you think it’s weird that I fell into a hole and a few seconds later you show up?” Riki said. “I thought you were better than this, I mean, I could’ve seriously injured myself!”

It was then that Y/N realized Riki wasn’t in the best mood, and that worried her. She didn’t enjoy him being angry at her, not one bit. “Riki, it wasn’t me. Truly.”

“So you’re saying Liz was lying about how you’ve been planning on pranking me?”

Riki didn’t mean to bring Liz into it, but he couldn’t help it.

“I can’t believe you… I thought we’ve been getting closer. Then you go and do this?”

“I’m being honest, it wasn’t me!” Y/N voice raised to a yell. She felt hurt that he was blindly accusing her, though she couldn’t blame him. After all this time, she knew people only expected the worst of her. And with how she’s treated Riki in the past, it was only right that his mind would think of her to do such a thing.

But she thought he would know she would never intentionally hurt him. That’s why she only pulled small pranks. “I care about you a lot, Riki. Even though I considered pranking you in the past, I stopped myself from doing it because I want to better myself for you.”

Riki felt his heart swell at what she said, but he still couldn’t get the information he learned about Y/N and Beomgyu out of his head.

“Are you ever going to take anything seriously? I mean, aren’t you tired of acting like this?”

“Acting like what…?”

All the jealousy he felt and the anger he felt towards himself… seeing her made all the negative feelings that Riki had been feeling bubble up, and before he knew it his mouth was moving faster than his brain.

“Aren’t you tired of making people feel miserable all the time!?” He yelled, with shut eyes.

But as soon as the words left his mouth, he felt regret all around. He didn’t mean to say anything really mean, he was just upset and he had accidentally taken it out on her.

“Um, don’t you think that was a little too far?” Liz whispered, surprised that Riki of all people said that. “I think you should apologize, I mean, she really might not have done it.”

Wasn’t Liz the one suspicious of Y/N in the first place?

Before he could take back his words he looked back up at his crush, only to see hurt and shock written on her face. And Riki knew he messed up.

“I make people feel miserable…? Alright, I get it.”

The smile Y/N put on was different from all the smiles she had given him in the past. It was filled with mixed emotions- sadness, hurt, and disgust. But at who? Disgusted at him? Or maybe even herself?

That was the last he had seen of Y/N in a few days.

Riki looked up at the sky and for some reason, the stars seemed to be dimmer than usual.

୨:୧┈┈┈ · · ┈┈┈୨:୧

9. Locker chats.

It was two days before the big True Heart’s Day dance that Chaehyun had been planning, and Riki couldn’t feel more stressed.

“You said that to her??”

Soul couldn’t hold back his shock as Riki recounted his previous argument with Y/N.

It had been some time since then, and Riki knew the girl was evading him. But why? He knew he had hurt her, but didn’t he deserve an apology too? After all, she did cause him to hurt his ankle.

“She could’ve killed me, Soul.” Riki frowned. “I don’t think I’m in the wrong for being concerned about my safety.”

Soul face palmed at his friends’ obliviousness. “Has it ever occurred to you that she might not have done it? Ever since you guys became close, you know Y/N has been trying to change her nature. She wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, and especially not something that drastic.”

Riki let out a sigh as he remembered something he had been trying to push to the back of his head. “But that’s the thing, what if she doesn’t care about me as much as I thought she did?”

“Bro what-”

“Liz told me that Beomgyu likes her.” It hurt Riki’s heart to think about that fact. “What if she likes him back?”

Soul was about to voice his disagreement when his eyes trailed past Riki’s shoulder. Before he could tell him not to look, Riki was already turning his head to see what caught Soul’s attention.

But the sight was one he had been dreading to see. Beomgyu and Y/N were walking to class together, and they seemed happy to be together.

Since when were they friends? Was it because Riki hadn’t been by her side? And why hadn’t Beomgyu said anything about their new friendship?

Riki’s mind raced with the possibilities of how Y/N and Beomgyu had become friends. But no matter how they had gotten to that point, it didn’t matter.

Beomgyu was talking to Y/N. His Y/N. How could she stand there, and laugh, and look so beautiful?

How could she look so well when he was struggling so much internally?

Riki would never know just how much sleep Y/N was losing over everything, or how she had already planned out her apology.

“Maybe they’re just friends?” Soul suggested, not wanting his best friend to be upset. But even he couldn’t deny the seeming chemistry between the two.

“Don’t worry about Beomgyu, he’s not a threat.” Ningning’s voice was heard as she approached the two Wonderlandians. “Now Riki tell me, what did you say to Y/N? She hasn’t been herself these days and I know you have something to do with it.”

Riki was hesitant to tell Y/N’s best friend about what had happened, but maybe Ningning could clear some things up for him. So he described what occurred between the two of them that night in great detail, making sure Ningning was able to get the full picture.

Once he finished, he could tell the swan girl was about to slap him for what he said to her friend.

“Are you being serious right now?” Ningning scoffed. “I can’t believe I ever thought you were smart because you’re actually kind of dumb…”

Riki frowned. “Okay rude.”

Soul had to stop himself from laughing. “She kind of gagged you there…”

Ningning sighed. “Riki… Y/N was telling the truth, she didn’t do it. Her mom did.”

“...What?”

“You stupid hoe, I can’t believe you didn’t try to hear her out.” Disappointment could be heard all over Ningning’s tone, but Riki wasn’t paying attention to that.

All he could think about how he seriously messed up.

“Her mom thought you were a threat to Y/N’s success so she tried to get you out of the picture. But when Y/N found out about it, she yelled at her mom. Can you believe that?” Ningning said incredulously. “She’s terrified of her mother, but she yelled at her for you.”

He realized that he shouldn’t have gotten so defensive and just trusted his friend, after all, she had been showing that she did want to change. He should have trusted her and not let his emotions take over.

But after hearing about Y/N and Beomgyu possibly being together was just too much for him to think about, and he projected all that anger onto Y/N. The things he said and the way he acted were all uncalled for.

“Is she going to class right now?” Riki abruptly said, the only thought on his mind was that he needed to apologize.

“She’s kind of busy these days because she’s helping Chaehyun prepare for the dance, so I don’t think it’s a good time to approach her.” Ningning said. “Maybe try talking to her on the day of the dance?”

He didn’t want to wait for two more days but if Ningning thought that was best, he would trust her. Riki would wait for as long as he needed if it meant he could have Y/N back in his life.

Because more than anything, he missed her and her silly pranks.

୨:୧┈┈┈ · · ┈┈┈୨:୧

10. I’ve always loved you.

“You look pretty, Y/N.”

Y/N snapped out of her staring contest with the mirror as Ningning entered her peripherals. The daughter of the Swan Queen, who usually wore her ballet style clothing, suddenly adorned a lilac dress that was shorter in the front and longer in the back with silver details sprinkled throughout. It resembled a forest design, which was befitting of her character since she was a swan after all.

Y/N, on the other hand, wore a darker purple dress that was of a similar length and had black lace around the top. Her voluminous hair was styled into pigtails and part of it was made to resemble cat ears. Her accessories complimented the outfit perfectly, and she felt good about herself for once in her life.

A sigh left Y/N’s lips. “Thanks Ning. You look beautiful too.”

Ningning frowned. “You’re still upset, aren’t you?”

And she was right.

True Heart’s Day. It was a night many people looked forward to, and a memory they all knew would solidify within each others’ long term memories. The aspect of getting dressed up and attending a formal event was a luxury that the attendees basked in for even days after the original event. The luminescent lights, the high energy music, the romantic atmosphere— it was all too exhilarating. Although the event wasn’t intended to be a romantic one, many students had made it out to be one. Being the daughter of Cupid, Chaehyun didn’t know if she was satisfied with that outcome or not.

But for Y/N, she hadn’t even wanted to go anymore. After her fight with Riki, being in such a romantic atmosphere only made her more upset than ever. It reminded her that no matter how much she tried to change or how often she attempted to prove that she was more than what the general public made her out to be, she would never be seen as who she really was.

And that made her feel like more of an outsider than ever.

“It’s nothing. I’m excited.” Y/N smiled at Ningning, in hopes that she would stop worrying. “Is it almost time? We should go before it’s too late.”

Ningning groaned, as she remembered where they were going. “Remind me why we’re doing this again? Dances aren’t exactly my type of scene.”

Y/N chuckled. “Because we have to be there to support Chae. She’s counting on us, you know?” She paused, and a sad expression made its way onto her face. “And I don’t want to disappoint anyone anymore.”

Ningning looked at Y/N with an expression on her face, feeling sad for her friend.

She could only hope True Hearts Day would go over well.

After walking around the forest for 15 minutes, Y/N could tell that Ningning didn’t know where she was going. Why would Chae organize the dance to be so far away from the school? She knew they were keeping everything on the down low, but still.

“You have no idea where we’re going, do you?” Y/N giggled as her best friend struggled to figure out where they were going. “Why don’t we just call Chae-”

“No!” Ningning shouted. “I mean, we can’t disturb her. I’m sure we can figure it out on our own.”

Y/N doubted Ningning’s words but didn’t vocalize that.

They wandered around for a few more minutes, when Ningning spotted someone in the distance.

Bingo.

“Beomgyu! Are you guys heading to the True Hearts Day dance?”

Y/N hoped that the other person with Beomgyu wasn’t who she was hoping it would be. But unfortunately, she rarely got what she wanted.

As she looked where Ningning was, Y/N could see Riki in all his entirety. It had been a while since she had fully looked at him, and she felt her heart stop. He was just as beautiful as he’d always been. Y/N couldn’t deny that despite being the one to cut off contact, she had missed him more than ever.

Maybe there was a part of Riki that missed her too?

No, that couldn’t be the case. He said it himself, she only made people miserable.

Deep down Y/N had been pondering on that possibility for years. But hearing someone verbalize it out loud and say it to her, especially someone she liked so much, was extremely hurtful.

But she knew she needed to hear it. Because now more than ever she’s felt sorry for her actions.

Though, did Riki have to be so rude about it?

“Yeah, we’re on our way right now.” Beomgyu answered Ningning’s question while Riki and Y/N had an intense staring contest. “What are you two doing here? Isn’t it in the other direction?”

Ningning facepalmed at her stupidity. They had been going the wrong way. “Oh yeah! I definitely knew that. I was just… making sure you guys would get there safe.”

Chuckling at her denial, Beomgyu smiled. “Right, because that makes so much sense.”

Y/N could see Ningning getting shy. “Well since we’re all here, should we just head over together?” Ningning suggested looking at Y/N to get her approval more than anything.

Although she had been avoiding Riki, Y/N really didn’t want any more bad blood between the two of them. Even if he would never like her back, she missed her friend and would do anything to fix everything. “I’m alright with that. But let’s go faster, because we’ll already be late enough as is.”

The four began walking together, the atmosphere silent but not awkward. They were lucky that they were decent enough friends with each other that being together wouldn’t be an issue.

However with Y/N and Riki too cowardly to apologize to one another, there was a slight tension in the air that was too thick for Ningning and Beomgyu to handle. The two made subtle eye contact, and nodded.

“Hey Y/N,” Beomgyu started, as he approached the distracted girl. “You look pretty.”

Y/N appreciated Beomgyu and his kindness, but she had wished those words were said by a certain someone instead. But she didn’t want to let her disappointment show, so Y/N did what she did best. Hide everything under her teasing personality. “You don’t look too bad yourself, Hood. I mean for once, you don’t look like you just finished rolling in dirt.”

“Oh please, says the girl who sleeps in trees.”

Riki frowned when he heard Y/N and Beomgyu bantering. Did she normally joke around with him like that? How often did they talk to each other? How long had they been friends?

He couldn’t help but feel himself getting jealous that Y/N teased other guys that weren’t him. Though, he should’ve expected it. After all, she teased everyone. Riki was never an exception. Although, he often wondered if her calling Riki by his last name was something she reserved for him or used on others.

But a thought crossed Riki’s mind. Perhaps he wanted to be the only guy that she teased.

“You’re sooooo jealous right now, aren’t you?” Ningning snuck up behind Riki and whispered in his ear. “She might need a little more than a push in the right direction.”

“Ningning wh-”

Ningning put a finger to Riki’s mouth as he was a little too loud for her liking. “Y/N. Be honest, do you like her?”

“I do.”

Before, he would hesitate before saying that he liked her. But at this point, he was too far down the ladder of love to even want to deny it anymore.

Riki Wonderland was in love with Y/N.

“I love her, Ningning. I always have.”

Ningning smiled. “Tell her that. She needs to hear it now more than ever.”

Riki looked past Ningning to where Beomgyu and Y/N were talking. They were a little in front of him, but far enough to where him and Ningning’s conversation would be inaudible. He admired the way she seemed to skip out of excitement, the way the sun made her look ethereal, and the way she made all her movements seem graceful. He glanced at the way her hand dangled on her side, lonely as ever.

He wanted to be the one to hold it.

After some time, the quartet arrived at the venue. Chaehyun had done amazing with the preparations; Y/N and Ningning couldn’t help but feel proud of their friend for what she did. It had taken a long time of planning, but the dance was finally fully fleshed out. It was truly an amazing feat she took up and she executed it beautifully.

There were pink and red hearts scattered around the room, as well as pink and red falling from the ceiling. The punch and snack table was well decorated with various kinds of snacks and spanned from one side of the room to the other. In the middle, there was a dance floor where Yoon Piper was stationed as the DJ. The room was already packed with most of the students in Ever After High, all high off the adrenaline of doing something so risky.

Beomgyu led Riki to meet up with some of their mutual friends who they spotted in the distance. Jungwon Croakington, Jake Charming, and Sunghoon Winter waved them over when they made eye contact. The group was situated near the punch bowl.

Y/N and Ningning went to find Chaehyun, who was sat alone at a table.

“Hey gorgeous,” Ningning complimented Chaehyun. “What are you doing over here alone?”

“After all the preparation I’m kind of tired. Isn’t that funny? I spent so much time making it perfect that I can’t even enjoy how it turned out.” Chaehyun bitterly laughed. “I was with Sullyoon earlier after she helped me set up, but I didn’t want to dampen her mood so I left.”

“But you look too good tonight not to enjoy it!” Y/N put her hand on Chaehyun’s. “Why don’t we go dance so you can loosen up a bit?”

Chaehyun shook her head. “Maybe later, I don’t think I’m in the mood right Besides, I think someone wants to talk to you right now.”

Before Y/N could ask what she was talking about, Chaehyun nodded her head over to where Liz was standing with a sheepish expression.

“Hey, Y/N.”

Y/N knew part of why Riki had lashed out at her was because Liz said something to him, she wasn’t dumb. But in all honesty, she didn’t hold it against the girl. After all, Liz had never acted maliciously towards her. She definitely had an explanation for what she did.

“I just wanted to say sorry for what happened with Riki.” Liz sighed with an apologetic expression. “I was under the impression that you were going to do something that was going to hurt him, and I was just doing what I thought was right. But I should’ve talked to you about it first and not just made assumptions.”

Y/N put on the most genuine smile she could muster to convince Liz she wasn’t upset with her. “It’s okay, you were just trying to be helpful. It’s my fault for acting this way in the first place. If I didn’t, then people wouldn’t have a reason to suspect me of doing bad things.”

Liz frowned when she said this. Did Y/N really see herself in that way? “But you’re more than just that! Throughout our time at Ever After High, I’ve always admired you.” Y/N’s eyes widened when she said that. “I mean, you’re already ready to sign the Storybook of Legends. Even with all the people who don’t like you, somehow you’ve always seemed to have everything together. And I think that’s really strong of you.”

Hearing that from Liz, knowing that there was someone out there who believed there was more to her than what she displayed, it was relieving.

Because it meant that there was the possibility for her to redefine her legacy.

“Thanks Liz, that means a lot to me.” Y/N gave the blonde a hug. “And… I’m sorry for waking you up from your nap that one time.”

Liz chuckled at the memory she had long forgotten. “It was getting late anyways. Maybe I should thank you instead.”

Once the two had finished their discussion, Liz left to go greet Yuna who had just arrived. That left Y/N… alone? She hadn’t even noticed that Ningning and Chaehyun left during her conversation with Liz. But where did they go?

Y/N’s cat eyes trailed to the side of the room and surely enough, she saw her best friends talking to Beomgyu and some of his friends.

Though, Riki was nowhere to be found.

Despite how scared she was to talk to him still, her conversation with Liz had given her a boost of courage and confidence in herself that she wouldn’t have had otherwise. There was something in her that told her she needed to go find Riki and clear the air, because she was tired of the pettiness.

She wanted Riki back.

Y/N needed to find him, but he was nowhere to be found inside of the venue. She looked all around and asked all the people who could possibly know where he was, but nothing was of any help. That’s when it clicked in her brain and she realized that she knew where Riki was all along, and she just hadn’t thought about it.

Before the night could end, Y/N went outside so she could find Riki.

Just as she had hoped, she had spotted him sitting on the branch of a tree, looking up at the stars. Y/N could notice his bed of fluffy hair from anywhere.

She tried to ignore the incessant racing of her heart while she thought about what she was going to say to him for the first time in a week.

“Is there any more room up here?”

Riki looked down when he heard her voice, the voice he had been waiting to hear all night. Memories from the night they spent stargazing when they were 11 filled his mind, as he shook his head. “I was just coming down.”

Riki climbed down the tree as fast as he could but not too fast to where it would ruin his outfit. He still wanted to look good for Y/N even if they were going through a tough time.

“Are you enjoying the dance so far?” Riki asked once he was on the ground and him and Y/N were facing one another.

There was a slight awkwardness in the air, but it was washed out by the fact that they were just happy to be speaking once again.

Y/N nodded. “Chae did a really good job with everything, even if I haven’t been able to enjoy it all yet.”

“What do you mean?” Riki could tell where she was going, but he wanted to let her speak before he made assumptions.

Swallowing her pride, Y/N looked into Riki’s eyes. Those eyes… she had missed them. There was an unreadable expression on Riki’s face that Y/N could only hope meant he wanted her just as much as she wanted him.

She didn’t know that he wanted her more.

“I’m sorry Riki, for everything.” Y/N finally let out. “I’m sorry for pranking you so often, and I’m sorry for crossing lines that should’ve never been crossed. I just found you the most fun to prank, but I never wanted to do it so often to the point that it would make you uncomfortable. But I’m trying to get better at noticing those things.” Riki smiled at the fact that she was finally being vulnerable with him. He had waited years for this to happen. “I don’t want to keep secrets from you anymore. That day when we stargazed together, I ran away because I had a fight with my mom. She told me that I wasn’t good for anything, and that I should’ve never been born because I could never continue her legacy anyways. It got really tense between us so I ran away.”

As happy as he was that she was being open with him, he did feel upset with the reasoning. Not because he didn’t like it, but because he was upset it had happened and he couldn’t do anything to take away her pain. To think that she was carrying something so heavy for so long… All Riki wanted to do in that moment was take her pain away.

Riki gave her a sad smile and slowly raised his arms so they would be around his shoulders.

“May I?”

Y/N gave consent and Riki leaned into a hug. It was the first time they had truly been intimate, and it gave both teens a slight fluttery feeling in their stomachs. Faces red and heartbeats synced, the rush of young love was one too overwhelming to bear.

They unknowingly felt themselves succumb deeper and deeper into the feeling of loving one another, both itching to feel more of that lovestruck feeling they always felt when they were together.

“I have one more secret I haven’t told you yet.” Y/N whispered. She was too nervous to use her full voice, as she was afraid that it would come out shaky.

“What is it, Y/N?”

Y/N lifted her head from off of Riki’s shoulder and came face to face with him. Their faces were extremely close but neither wanted to change that. They stared into each other’s eyes for a short moment, though that moment felt longer than it really was.

“Riki, I love you. I always have.” Y/N confessed. “Ever since we first met back in Wonderland, I’ve always found myself drawn to you. And even though I never told you, you helped me a lot that day when I fought with my mom. I only became more infatuated with you from then on, and that’s why I pranked you so much.”

At her confession, Riki felt a wave of relief wash over his entire being. The fact that she felt the same way for so long made him even more giddy on the inside than he already was.

The feeling of having one reciprocate your feelings is something that can’t be replicated elsewhere.

“I love you so much and I don’t know how to handle it. What should I do?” Y/N finally felt comfortable voicing out all her thoughts that they were running out of her mouth like a water stream. She could only thank Riki for that. “How do I fix these feelings?”

Riki mustered up whatever courage was left within him to brush his hand against her lips ever so slightly. “Kiss me.”

After a moment of hesitation, the two leaned into each other until their lips met in a kiss. Both could feel a shock of electricity rush through as their lips melded together like they were always meant to. It only felt right and at that moment, they both realized something.

Perhaps it was all written in the stars.

Though both were inexperienced, so the kiss had ended just as quickly as it started.

“I love you too, Y/N.” Riki realized that he never explicitly stated his feelings to the girl, and he intended on doing so as passionately as he could. “I’ve loved you ever since the first time I saw you pull a prank on someone when we were 8. I’ve always been so interested in you, because you were always an enigma to me. But as we eventually got closer, I felt myself falling deeper in love with you as I learned something about you every day.” Riki was glad to get everything off his chest. “I love you so much that when you got closer to Beomgyu, I lashed out and took it out on you. Because I want to be the only guy you give your attention to.”

“I want to be the only guy you tease.”

Y/N was glad that they were shrouded in the darkness, because her face was burning up more than ever at his words.

She rarely got shy in front of people. But with Riki, the possibilities were endless.

“But I’m sorry for everything I said that day, I was just upset. You don’t make people miserable.” Riki apologized.

“Well I would hope not.” Y/N said with her signature grin, in order to lighten up the mood.

Even though nothing she said was particularly funny, the two found themselves bursting out into laughter. They were running on the emotional high they had gotten from the confessions. But now, knowing that their feelings for each other were felt by the other person, there was nothing left to hide.

Y/N was ready to show every side of her, good, bad, and ugly. Because for once in her life, she noticed that she was more than just the Cheshire Cat’s daughter.

Right then, in that moment, Y/N was capable of being loved for who she really was.

As the night came to a close, they could hear Yoon announce that a slow dance song would be played next from inside the venue.

Riki didn’t have to say any words for Y/N to know what he was going to ask her.

Once the music played, Y/N laid her head on Riki’s shoulders as he led her into a slow dance, their first slow dance as a couple.

Y/N sighed happily into Riki. “You know, you remind me of the stars.”

“Why, because my shirt is blue?” He retorted, referencing the blue top he had worn to the dance.

“No, stupid. I didn’t know why before but I think I figured it out.” Y/N giggled. “The stars are make up the night sky, and they have a place built for them. They’re beautiful. And to me, you’re all of that.”

Riki smiled with nothing but love in his eyes, and kissed Y/N’s forehead. “If I’m the stars, then you’re a constellation. Just like how the constellations connect the stars and make them whole, you do the same for me. You make me feel whole.”

No matter what, Y/N would always look up at the stars and think about Riki. They represented every part of him in his entirety, and she couldn’t get enough of it. Funnily enough, the stars seemed to be shining brighter than usual that night.

The two continued to slow dance into the night, both blinded by the wonders of young love. Being encapsulated by the giddy feelings and speaking sweet nothings to each other was the perfect way to end their story.

Ningning felt her heart swell with pride as she admired the newfound couple. After all the heartbreak Y/N had gone through in her life, it was refreshing to see her genuinely happy for once. She couldn’t help but wonder if she could experience the same soon enough. But that was a problem for another day. This was Y/N’s story, and she was glad to have contributed to her happy ending. She looked between Beomgyu and Chaehyun and nodded.

Chaehyun was relieved to know that Riki and Y/N ended up together. When she looked outside to see for herself if it was true, she let out a long sigh. It was about time.

The future Cupid winked at both of her friends, signaling that their plan had worked.

Perhaps she was better at matchmaking than she thought she was.

authors note. chaehyun beomgyu and ningning best plotters!!!

cheshire taglist. @thesassy-mia @oldjws @enhacatalog @hoonpalettes @star-ism @lprww @asteria-wood

permanent taglist. @muhwaa @hoori @yizhoutv @ja4hyvn @carayat @one16core @enhacolor @haerinz @soobin-chois @en-boyz @ohmy-fandoms @yjwonz @yunki4evr @strwberrydinosaur @duolingofanaccount @iichaeyj @eundiarys @ineedaherosavemeenow @chaerybae @bubblytaetae @w3bqrl @xiaoderrrr @jaeyunnsworld @rikizm @teddywonss @gweoriz @dimplewonie @jennaissantes @kivrio @kaykay11sworld @itsactuallylina (if u requested to be on my permanent taglist and u didn’t get tagged it’s bc i cant see ur acc, but pls dm me if u want to be in it !)

[thebibliosphere]

I had a question.

So, just an hour or two ago, I was going through some sort of “manic high”, sorta like how somebody with bipolar disorder would have (I don’t have BPD). It felt like a bullet train at max speed and completely derailing, and it was incredibly draining. It also got me wondering.

Do people with severe enough ADHD deal with ADHD episodes like this? My search attempts are often futile because all of it is just talking about how to differentiate between BPD and ADHD and BPD manic episodes, but nobody ever mentions ADHD episodes; the only time I’ve seen it mentioned ever was when somebody made a clip of crankgameplays to show what an ADHD episode looked like.

Do they even exist? I’ve got no idea, so I was just wondering if you knew.

Hey! Sorry, I saw your other ask a while ago, but I wanted to talk to my ADHD specialist before I answered because I’d never heard of the term “episode” being used to describe ADHD. I’m also going to splice both questions together here and answer them in segments in the hope it helps :)

So like I said, I’d never heard of the term “episode” with ADHD, and neither has my specialist. Part of ADHD is having a natural ebb and flow between inattention and hyperactivity, sometimes skewed toward one or the other, depending on your ADHD type. (What are the different types of ADHD?)

Your type of ADHD may also fluctuate because of other factors, such as stress, changes in medication, hormonal fluctuations, lack of sleep, overstimulation, or even under-stimulation, to name a few. Another overlooked part of ADHD is emotional dysregulation, which may cause rapid cycling emotions that may look like an “episode” to someone unfamiliar with what that actually qualifies. The way my therapist explained it and using your example of bipolar disorder, “episode” is used in diagnostic criteria to categorize manic or depressive episodes that last X amount of time, are usually severe, potentially requiring hospitalization, and are accompanied by other symptoms not found in ADHD.

Our “bursts” of energy or lack thereof typically don’t last long enough to be considered episodes. This isn’t to say they are not severe or debilitating, especially if you suffer from things like anxiety or depression that ADHD can feed into. Merely that “episode” is not used as part of the language used to discuss ADHD, which is likely why you’re not finding anything.

So, do ADHDers experience intense bursts of energy that are draining afterward? Yeah, we can do, especially if we lean more toward hyperactive than inattentive. (And again, it's normal to fluctuate and also for things to be affected or worsened by secondary factors.)

And I'm going to put the rest under the cut because this is hella long.

I’ve seen some people think that all hyperactivity has to come with fixation, but that’s not how ADHD works. It’s true if something gets us excited or gives us a dopamine boost, we might be more prone to becoming hyperfixated and burn all our energy up on that. But you don’t need something to fixate on to experience hyperactivity. Some of us are just wired to the moon sometimes, and yes, it can be very draining when it ends. Some people find medication helpful in regulating their hyperactivity/preventing it from coming in such big swings and dips.

Speaking personally, when I'm hyper and nothing is grabbing my attention, the world and people around me can feel painfully slow. It's like I'm going a mile a minute doing everything but achieving nothing. The crash that comes after can also be particularly bad, as I also have dysthymia, which can tip over into a major depressive episode depending on other factors in my life at that time. For years I was misdiagnosed as having "probably Bipolar Type II" by a doctor who didn't believe teenage girls could "get" ADHD* and convinced my parents I needed psychoactive drugs. The drugs I was on didn't help, in fact, they made me worse so I was taken off them.

It wasn't until I found an ADHD specialist as an adult a few years ago that I made any real progress. And I'll be honest, I was shocked when she diagnosed me with ADHD, I really didn't think I had it. Right up until we started doing the work and slowly but surely my mental health began to improve and my understanding of myself with it.

Sometimes there are days when I will be wired to the moon and it will derail my entire day because I can't focus on a single thing/I'll focus too much on a single thing. Other times, like when I am closer to my menstrual cycle, I'll crash into inattentiveness and depression because of how my hormones affect my various different conditions, including my ADHD. Medication would likely help with this, but due to medical reasons, that's currently not an option for me so I do the best I can.

That said, if you’re experiencing something more than hyperactivity but it's not mania, you may be experiencing a form of hypomania and you should talk to a doctor about your concerns.

Hypomania typically occurs in Bipolar Type II disorder, which is less severe than the manic episodes in Bipolar I. I’ve experienced both manic and hypomanic episodes in my life due to medication interactions, and they felt very different from ADHD hyperactivity. It's not just derailing mile-a-minute thoughts, it's something usually completely mood-altering and out of control feeling followed by devastating crashes.

If you're on any medications and are worried you are experiencing something like this, you need to talk to your doctor. You might just need a dosage tweak, or you might be better off on a different medication altogether. Also, make a thorough check of any and all medications you are taking to check for any interactions.

I'm on a cocktail of meds for my MCAS, which if I were to combine them with the SSRI one of my doctors wants me to try, would result in serotonin syndrome. The doctor didn't notice this, but the pharmacist sure as shit did!

Some people (ask me how I know) even develop mild hypomania from overusing the sunlamps used to treat SAD (link), which is why brands like Verilux now include warnings in their leaflets about not using the lamps for more than X amount of time a day. Thankfully it goes away once you stop overusing the lamps.

Which actually brings me to something you asked last time about being unable to sleep at night. Insomnia and delayed sleep phase cycles are not uncommon in ADHD. This is likely because our circadian rhythm is thought to be out of whack (link).

You also mentioned having racing thoughts at night too, which is not uncommon either with hyperactivity. I find if I get overstimulated before trying to sleep, I’ll end up lying there awake with what I like to call “radio ADHD” playing in my head. It can range from snippets of songs stuck on repeat, conversations, things I’ve watched on TV, arguments, or if something is happening the next day, fixating on not being late for it. Hence, I end up getting no sleep because you can’t accidentally sleep in if you don’t sleep. *jazz hands of despair.*

Sometimes I find Radio ADHD soothing if it’s fixating on something chill, but it can get annoying fast and even distressing if I’m tired and can’t “change the station.” (I’d say “shut it off,” but as of yet, I’ve never been able to do that. Medication helps some people with this, as can looking into “sleep hygiene” if you haven’t already.) Conversely, if I’m bored or something is too stressful, I will 100% fall asleep because my brain would literally rather just turn off than do something I don’t want to do or is a low dopamine reward task.

Brains are fun.

Anyway, I uh, I am not sure if any of this is useful to you, but I hope it helps. Mostly I'm just repeating back what my specialist said when I asked her about it lol. Good luck, and I hope you figure things out.

----

*NB: It's important to note that ADHD and Bipolar Disorder can be comorbid. It's not a one or the other situation. I’m just throwing it out there in case hearing that helps someone else pursue the proper diagnosis!

[maggies-scribblings]

Yarning For Her

Adrien is smitten with the girl who's always been there, in the row behind him. But when his plans to ask Marinette out unravel, a secret throws him for a loop…

Written for the Miraculous Writer's Guild April Event 2021: Followers sent five emojis as prompts to the @mlwritersguild Tumblr for the writers to pick one to write for. I chose the emojis sent by @ladycat1: ✨ 😊 👀 👩🏻 🧵

Canon compliant up to Season 4, Episode 4: M. Pigeon 72.

👩🏻

It was finally happening. The event everyone was waiting for… well, everyone except the main protagonist of said event.

Marinette could feel it, though she could hardly believe it. She noticed Adrien looking at her with more intensity, when he thought she wasn’t looking. How he had trouble finding the right words when talking to her. All the tiny gestures of attention, like offering to help with a difficult subject or a complex art project, or praising her outfit every day, even if she’d worn it several times before.

Nino could tell, too: questions about Marinette and her favourite colour, food, flower, or whatever else were whispered in his right ear all day.

Actually, the whole class noticed Adrien’s marked change in behaviour. His cheerful hellos were now stuttered in Marinette’s general direction. His head hid on his shoulders whenever Marinette sighed or yawned, as if his neck couldn’t handle her fresh breaths. Even his athletic skills were now replaced with an unexplained jerkiness. The fact that the weather was warmer and the girls’ gym suits gave way to short shorts and strappy tops might have had something to do with it.

In short, Adrien fell in love with Marinette. Hard.

👀

When it started, Adrien couldn’t exactly tell. Ever since that first day of school, Marinette had held a special space in his heart (most of which had been stolen by Ladybug the previous day). She was one of his first and dearest friends.

But now… after getting to know Marinette, her loving and kind nature, after seeing her helping others without asking for anything back, after finally noticing how pretty she was… he wasn’t so sure.

That day at the pool was definitely a turning point.

First there was that unplanned double dive. During those milliseconds when they were falling, Adrien’s thought process went something like this:

Danger!—Why is Marinette here?—Protect!—Wow, she looks so cute in that swimsuit!

As they hit the water, their arms instinctively reached out to the other as they sank, swirling back up to the surface in a soft embrace — just like that night in New York, when they had danced floating in the air, under the full moon.

And when they were leaving the pool, Adrien was so happy and surprised to see she still had the umbrella he’d given her way back then! Sweet as always, she offered to give it back to him, even though it was raining and she had to walk home.

She was standing next to him (she linked her arm in his!) when that pesky umbrella decided to close on them, and they were pulled even closer for a few seconds. Very close. He could smell the chlorine in her hair mixed with the scent of sweets that always surrounded her. He thought he felt her heart beating faster and faster. Maybe it wasn’t. His heart certainly was. He could feel her warm breath through his shirt, and it drove him a little crazy.

When they said goodbye that day, he could hardly take his eyes off her. He even bumped his head on the car door frame. Ladies and gentlemen, here’s the charming, elegant model Adrien Agreste, unable to enter a car (come to think of it, he seemed to have a bit of a problem with doors whenever Marinette was around).

✨

The few weeks that went by did nothing to sort out Adrien’s feelings about the two black-haired girls in his life. His days were mortifying, his nights restless. On one such night, Adrien tossed and turned, but sleep wouldn’t come. The full moon and bright stars shining through the window frames painted his room with grid patterns, a constant reminder of his confined life.

Adding to that, his mind was racing with memories of his (now frequent) clumsiness and embarrassment at school. He recalled the fumble of the day: going into the classroom while trying to look cool, he managed to snag his bag strap on the door handle, causing him to jerk back and hit the ground on his butt in front of the whole class.

Adrien groaned and turned again. Worst thing was, he had no idea how she felt for him. She kept sending mixed signals. Her behaviour towards him wasn’t as weird as it had been, but that didn’t mean a lot. He’d even asked her a couple of times. He remembered the time they visited the wax museum, when she said she didn’t like him like that.

“What’s the matter, kid?” Plagg yawned from his side of the pillow, annoyed by his bearer’s restlessness. “Who is it this time? Spots or bakery girl?”

Adrien didn’t bite, going back into his musings instead.

His mind turned to Ladybug… These days, Spots occupied a much smaller part of his thoughts. He still got the occasional butterflies in his stomach when he saw her, or when she praised him and his humour. She would always be his first love, and not an easy girl to forget… but she was right, of course — she was always right — as long as they had enemies, they couldn’t reveal their identities, much less deepen their relationship. Back when Bunnyx first showed up, they found out that there would be a new Hawkmoth and countless akumas in the future, and who knew when that would end?

Plagg was still grumbling about sleep and cheese. Adrien playfully flicked his kwami’s ear.

“Shut up, Plagg! I’m trying to sleep!”

“Very unsuccessfully, I might say,” Plagg flew out of his reach. “You sighed four-hundred and fifty-eight times in the last hour.”

“Come on… can’t you see I’m in turmoil here?” Adrien turned his back to the kwami. It was no use arguing with a deity, no matter how minuscule.

“Four-hundred and fifty-ni—” Plagg’s teasing was interrupted by a pillow hitting him.

😊

This wouldn’t do. Adrien couldn’t stand his own indecisiveness any more. He decided to ask Marinette out, that very day. After a reviving shower, he got dressed and looked in the mirror. The dark circles around his eyes were evident, but he hated wearing concealer to school. He might as well add a couple of details to his usual get-up: a pair of Gabriel’s new collection sunglasses and his favourite blue scarf.

He arrived at school early, and while most of the class was either chatting in the courtyard or going into the classroom, Marinette was nowhere to be seen. Adrien went into the locker room, and lurked behind the last row of lockers while students got in, got their things and left.

Finally, the hurricane that was late-for-class-Marinette thundered in, scolding herself for oversleeping as she got her books for the morning. When she closed the door, there was Adrien, leaning against the cabinets with his best Chat Noir smirk as he looked over the rim of his sunglasses and greeted her.

“Good morn—”

He didn’t have time to finish his line, as a very startled Marinette squeaked and grabbed his free arm to spin him around and pin him to the lockers with an elbow to his throat.

It took a few moments for Adrien realise exactly what had happened, before she released her hold.

“I’m sorry, I… panicked,” Marinette said, as she stepped back and continued to gesticulate wildly and mumble more awkward apologies.

Still frozen in place, Adrien managed to adjusted his crooked sunglasses.

“Marin—” he had to clear his throat. “No, I— It’s o-ow!”

Adrien tried and failed to step forward, as he heard a ripping sound — his scarf was caught in Marinette’s locker, and the momentum slammed him back into the metal doors with a loud bang.

The proverbial stars that blurred his vision cleared up to show Marinette very close to him, fumbling with the lock to release the scarf.

“Sorry, so sorry, I’m such a klutz!”

“It’s okay, no harm do—”

Adrien stopped talking when he saw that the scarf had a large rip, disappointment obvious upon his face.

“Oh no!” Marinette covered her mouth as she saw the damage. “Your scarf! I ruined it!”

At this point, Adrien would usually smile and say something like ‘it’s okay’ or ‘no worries’, but he couldn’t lie: he really loved that scarf. It was his favourite colour, warm and cosy, yet light enough to wear on a spring day, and a rare thoughtful gift from his father. He pouted a little as his fingers traced the tear.

“I can fix it!”

He lifted his eyes to Marinette as she got on her tiptoes to unwind the scarf from his neck.

“I can make it look as good as new. I know you’re worried, after all it’s your dad’s birthday gift,” she rambled as she delicately folded it, “but I have leftover yarn— I mean, I think I have the same colour, and it’s a simple pattern.”

There was something odd about the way she worded that, but Adrien dismissed it. He must have made a weird face, because now she had a concerned expression.

“I mean, if you trust me with it… I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t after I destroyed it. ”

“No—I mean, don’t be silly, it was an accident… I shouldn’t have sneaked up on you like that!” He managed a relieved little smile. “Still, my father might be upset if he saw I ripped it. Are you sure you can fix it?”

Marinette’s eyes averted his for a moment, as she returned the folded up scarf.

“I’ll do my best! I’m not a pro like your father, but I’m sure I can make it as good as new in no time at all!”

They agreed to go to Marinette’s place after school so that she could start working on it right away, then ran off to class as the second bell rang.

Not exactly the way I planned it, Adrien thought as he scrambled onto his seat, but I guess it worked!

🧵

Adrien reclined in the chaise-longue and looked around Marinette’s bedroom. It was the total opposite of his, huge and aseptic and cold. On the contrary, these walls had warm colours and pictures everywhere, and it smelled amazing, fruity shampoo mixed with glue and ink from her many design projects, mixed with sweets from the bakery, and everything about it was so welcoming and cosy and so… Marinette.

“Yes!” Her delighted voice interrupted his reveries. “I knew I still had it!”

Adrien chuckled as he saw Marinette triumphantly holding a ball of light blue yarn, then get several needles from her yarn basket and sit at her sewing station to start working. He switched seats to her desk chair and rolled close to her.

“Can I help?”

“Sure! Let me just…”

Marinette picked up a long, thin knitting needle and started to thread it on the scarf, just above the tear. She was so concentrated and her movements so careful and precise, she might as well be defusing a bomb. Adrien noticed her tongue sticking out the corner of her mouth and wondered what her kisses would taste like.

“There. I have the brakes on, now let’s get going.”

Marinette found the end stitch at the corner of the scarf and cut it. Giving Adrien the end of the yarn, she continued.

“Hold this. Make a ball while I unravel it.”

“Huh? Un-what?” Much as Adrien trusted her skills, he panicked. “Won’t you make it worse?”

“No, because I’m holding the knitting with this,” she pointed at the longer needle she had threaded through the scarf.

Marinette turned her chair, so they were sitting face to face, knees almost touching, and started to quickly unravel the bottom part of the scarf, while he rolled up the thread in a ball, both enjoying the comfortable silence. He noticed a small piece of fabric falling from one of the edges and bent down to pick it up.

“What’s this?” Adrien thought out loud while examining it.

As soon as Marinette lifted her eyes from her work and saw what he was holding, her eyes went wide and her cheeks red.

“Oh, it’s nothing—” she tried unsuccessfully to snatch the fabric from his hand. “Probably just the washing inst—”

It was not an ordinary washing instructions tag. It was tiny and had been woven into the knitting, so discreetly he’d never noticed it before. He turned the fabric over to see a recognisable signature.

Marinette

“Wait— you made this?” Adrien picked up the other end of the scarf from her lap and examined like he’d never seen it before. “Wha—? How? D-did my father buy it off your website?”

So that’s why she was so confident about fixing it. He searched Marinette’s face for an explanation, but she just shook her head and kept looking down, unravelling the loops one by one.

“No— of course not— your site wasn't set up back then, we only took those photos later…”

Adrien thought back to the time Nathalie handed him the present, neatly packed in a box with a ribbon. He’d never seen that kind of care in his father’s presents, just standard gift bags with expensive pens, straight from a corporate catalogue. His train of thought was broken by a couple of tears falling on his hands.

“Marinette…” he murmured, lifting her chin to look into her misty eyes. “Did you make this for me?”

She nodded with a tiny smile. He moved his hand from her chin to cup her cheek, wiping her tears with his thumb.

“Was this supposed to be your present for me?” Another nod. “How did this mess happen then?”

“I…” Marinette had to clear her throat and finally looked at him. Something in her eyes changed from avoidance to determination. “I wanted to give it to you personally, but I couldn’t gather the nerve… then one thing led to another, and I left it in your house, and I even signed it, but…” she shrugged.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I just… couldn’t. You were so happy with the present from your dad. I couldn’t ruin it for you.”

Adrien made a mental note to find out exactly what had happened, then set all his negative feelings aside. His heart was too full of love to think about anything other than the girl in front of him.

“Oh, Marinette…” he softly chided as he hugged her. How could this girl be so selfless, on top of everything else? She cared for him, really cared for him, even back then. “I wish you’d told me.”

He released the hug and pulled her closer, into his lap. Marinette set the scarf on the sewing table and put her arms around his neck. Her tears were gone and a hint of a smile played on her lips.

“That way,” Adrien caressed her nose with his, “I would have thanked you properly.”

“Oh yeah?” Marinette breathed, her lips very close to his. “You can thank me now.”

They closed the distance between them, their lips melding into a sweet kiss, then another, and then a few more. Adrien’s heart was beating so fast he could hardly bear it. Then he remembered he should probably breathe at some point.

“Wow.”

“Wow.”

“If that’s the way you thank a person for a present, I’ll start giving them more often,” Marinette joked.

“Not anyone.” He pecked her lips. “Only you.”

They kissed again, this time more passionately. He kissed her eyes, the tip of her nose, her forehead, her neck, then back up to her lips…

The scarf was left forgotten on the sewing table. It could wait a few more hours before repairing.

Fin

Thanks to @hari-writes and @deinde-prandium for the beta read! ❤️

Constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated. English is not my first language and I tend to use UK English. If you catch any inconsistencies, please let me know.

My AO3. My Twitter. My Instagram.

[lovely-necromancy]

A Cure for Insomnia CH 1.

This is a reader insert I originally started posting on AO3. I’m cross posting here because I know some of the fandom still lives here.

Quick Disclaimer:

This is a fic I'm writing for my own comfort.

I was inspired by RaeBees (you can check out their works over on Quotev and AO3), and how they characterize the "proxies". Having always seen the characters different than most of the fandom I've interacted with I never really shared my thoughts until now. This work is only placed in the Creepypasta tag so it reaches its demographic. However, I am fully aware of the fact that no main character is considered a Pasta.

It may also appear to lean more Toby X Protag in the beginning but end goal is protag with all three, and Brian and Tim already in a relationship. How I picture it now is a slowburn but Toby and Protag will be in a friends with benefits relationship before either has any feelings, so I think that counts. Some may be confused by the asexual protag tag but it'll be explained in story, as an Ace myself I get frustrated with media that only show one version and say it goes for us all. That being said I don't represent the whole Ace community but I hope to provide a bit more representation for some others out there.

Protag will be depicted as agender, and will have a few tics that stem from their Autism. Again I don't speak for any others with Autism but I hope to provide some representation for those in similar positions.

Tags will be updated as the story progresses. Canon-Typical violence and mental health issues are to be expected if you feel uncomfortable with those aspects I advise you to not engage. This story will also have a lot of NSFW themes and scenes so I highly discourage anyone under the age of 18 from viewing this work. You will get warnings on chapters with NSFW and I will make it skippable as well.

I'm also very nitpicky and gave the main characters birthdays just because it irritates me when it gets mentioned once and you have to do the math or imagine your own conversation when a birthday was too close to a character's.

Tim January 1st, home state Alabama

Toby April 28th, home state Virginia (saw this years ago no clue if it's accurate)

Protag May 13th, home state Virginia

Brian May 23rd, home state Alabama

Connor the service dog July 18th, home state Kentucky

I've referred to Protag as Protag here but in story they're referred to as YN.

Everything felt impossibly dull; your senses, the dark room you're currently in, the noise coming from the fan just to the left of the bed on which you laid. Turning to the window beside your head you stare out into that weird midnight summer sky. More of a gray than a true dark blue night, cast in an orange glow that made the night seem closer to day than it truly was. While the time was just half past twelve, you felt it may have been more accurate to say it was closer to four in the morning.

You're exhausted but that true sort of exhaustion where whatever energy you have left buzzes all around. It consumes your entire being, dances between being deafeningly loud in your ears to giving you twitches in your legs. You'd laid down hours ago thinking you'd be tired enough to sleep once your tics started to spasm in closer intervals, but to no avail were you able to rest. That buzzing preventing you from dreamland. Maybe the hum of your body was right, you didn't really need to sleep, you just wanted it to feel normal.

Knowing the battle had already been lost you push yourself off the bed and grab a pair of shorts off the floor. Slipping them on you contemplate your options for the night. Going into town was out since it was Sunday...well Monday now, but there would be nothing but bars open and you were never one for drinking. And as fun as a drive sounds right now, you feel the buzzing in your bones grow stronger, you need to move. A late night hike should keep you occupied, with it being so quiet and the middle of the night you wouldn't even have to take your headphones to cancel out the sounds of other people, you aren't likely to run into many people tonight.

Deciding on a hike you grab a mask and car keys and make your way to your yellow Kia Soul. A going away present from your parents that they gave you the moment you got your driver's license after your 24th birthday. Having anxiety throughout your life you'd never been in the head space to start driving till later on, and while you still don't enjoy driving you are pretty good at it even with your “late” start. Surfing through radio stations as you let the car warm up you find your latest obsession, it's a conspiracy theory podcast that someone in Kepler managed to blast through the limited air ways of the town. Impressive considering Kepler was in a radio quiet zone and even cell phones couldn't work in the small town, luckily you lived just outside of the zone so you could send texts and call your parents every weekend.

It seemed today's episode was a rerun, Mothman: Murderer, Man, or Myth. It was actually one of your favorites, the paranormal stories tended to be more entertaining than hearing about how a man could murder sixteen people while working as a cop ruining evidence to lead the others off his trail. Humans could be more vial and cruel than any little gray alien from the future or tall Fresno Nightcrawler could ever be. And they weren't as entertaining to hear about, nor were their exploits as impressive. You could always see patterns, either connecting clues first or finding connections no one else saw, it was never hard to tell where a certain case would lead so you'd always end up disappointed in humanity when they overlooked such obvious clues. Though that often led you down a path of deep diving for information to see just how obvious it was, more often than not you'd find that the most logical conclusion was shady public officers. After investigating so many cold cases you're sure if you're ever in trouble you'll never involve the police, in the end they'd probably just ignore you and rule your case closed if anything ever did happen to you.

'I'd haunt them if they did.' You decide and you shift gears and begin driving to the Monongahela National Forest, as the timeline of Mothman sightings and events play out before for your ears.

Instead of going through town and possibly loosing the signal of the show, you drive on the old dirt road that runs along the very edge of the town, partially covered in trees. This over grown road is the main reason Kepler doesn't see many visitors, the second someone makes their way onto it coming off the interstate they floor it until they see civilization. Over the few months you've been here you've nearly been run right off the road by spooked tourists, trying to escape whatever ghouls their wild imaginations created. The only real thing on this road was a mini mart gas station, and even though it was shady as hell the cashier didn't bug you too much when you came in in the dead of night. Plus they had a cat, how could you not stop in and say hi to little ole Magnolia?

Speaking of which you should probably get a drink for your hike, you could already feel your throat drying out. Turning into the parking lot you're happy to see no other cars around, putting your face mask on you make your way inside. As usual the store is dead at this time, and Ronnie is manning the desk. What's unusual is the man also behind the counter, he has dark brown hair that he's tied into a small and low ponytail, thick sideburns frame his face. You immediately take note of the slight imperfections of his face, most would see the slit in his eyebrow as following the current trend or even just a genetic thing, but you can see the slightly off color of a healed scar that starts just above his eyebrow and ends mid eyelid, he has a few smaller discolorations on his crooked nose, you'd guess he's had it broken at least twice.

Briefly taking a glance to his brown eyes before looking away, today is not an eye contact day. Nodding in their directions, the best acknowledgment you can give right now, you make your way to the freezers. From the freezer section you can hear Ronnie “explain” you.

“That's YN, a regular mainly at night though. A bit skittish and rarely ever says more than 'thanks have a nice day'” Even though she's whispering you can hear everything. Including the high octave her voice takes to mimic you, it feels more like mocking.

If being mocked hadn't already put you on edge the eyes boring into you have. The eyes may not be roaming over your body but the icky crawling of your skin sure makes it feel that way. The feeling of being put under a microscope has always made you sick, the stares, the leers and sneers, and the judgment just makes you want to implode on the spot. Cease existence, be swallowed into the abyss. You're about to set yourself into an anxiety attack with all these thoughts.

'Mask, mask, mask' you repeat over and over in your head, it's the only thing you can focus on. You are wearing a mask, there is one thing they can't perceive, the face is the most important for humans to perceive, your mask protects you.

Without looking you pull a water bottle from the cooler. You don't think you like this brand but the sports mouth makes up for it, and you can't focus enough to grab another. As the imaginary spiders crawl their way under your skin and your breath hitches you make your way over to the counter head down, never looking up at the employees beyond the counter. Your vision is blurring in time with the beating of your heart, you can't tell if it's due to nerves or from being up for five days in a row.

“Hey YN, how're you?” Ronnie asks, her tone is different from the past times you've been in. It's higher and has a lilt in it that you'd expect from a teasing friend. But Ronnie isn't a friend and has never spoken to you like this, you hate it. You nod to politely move on with the process, between the crawling of your skin and the buzzing underneath it you feel sick. And you're now very aware of the existence of your eyelids, you try to focus on ignoring that awareness. You need to move.

“Hmm, that's good. Anyway this is Tim! He's just started so go easy on him.” you hear the sound of a hand hitting fabric and assume she's patted Tim's shoulder as she introduced Tim to you. Why was she doing this, what purpose could introducing you two have? You nod again, was anyone going to ring you out?

“Hi, this all?” a deep voice asked, it isn't extremely deep more of a standard baritone that has a slight raspy quality, probably a reformed smoker. You don't smell cigarettes currently so he could've quit after years. Unfortunately despite your efforts to stave them off your blinking tics emerge. Making it difficult to keep your eyes open for longer than a nano second.

Startled and ticcing you look up and catch his eyes, you see pity in them, before casting your glance back to the counter. You can never tell what's worse people seeing you as weird or seeing you as something needing to be fixed. Nodding again, Tim tells you the total; a dollar fifty eight, and you hand him two dollars from your wallet.

Tim doesn't ask if you want the receipt or a bag, he prints out the receipt and hands you your change. The change goes immediately into the cat food fund for Magnolia. She got diagnosed with diabetes about a month ago and having worked in shelters and pet stores you know just how expensive her prescription food is. After folding the receipt into your wallet, Tim gently slides the water bottle over to you.

“Have a good night.” he says it so low and gentle, as if he thinks you'll shatter in front of him. As kind as the gesture seems, you aren't that fragile...or maybe you are if you have to keep repeating 'mask' over and over in your head to ground yourself. With a final nod you turn and make your way to the door, and just as you open it you hear Ronnie call out.

“Awwww, c'mon YN at least say 'Hi' to Tim.” You really don't like how she squeaked out 'hi'.

Taking a deep breath you prepare yourself, you'll show them both you can do this simple task. Even if you can't stop blinking long enough to see straight. Once you've steadied yourself you turn and look at Tim. He's sending you a look that says 'You don't have to' all that's missing is a slow head shake to complete his unease with this “peer pressure”.

But you can do this you can say 'Hi, Tim.' Two words super simple, nothing complex like 'Hi, Tim, nice to meet you.' and so much better than the option of your next meeting saying 'Hi, Tim. Sorry for spazzing out the other night.'. Yup you can do this just breathe, you open your mouth and...and you've forgotten what to say. Looking like a deer in headlights, well at least the tics stopped, you say the first thing that pops in.

“Mask.” You've said it loud and clear both cashiers heard you.

Tim stares with wide eyes and you see Ronnie failing to hide her laughter. Out of all the ways this could've gone this was probably the best outcome for her. The blinking has started up again, this time growing more frequent. You can't even hold your eyes open, to the two cashiers it must look like you're in pain or crying. And while you want to die of embarrassment, crying is a bit of an extreme for you.

So with red face and the inability to see you leave through the door, and try to make your way back to your car. Once in you lock the doors, switch the car on, and rest your head on the steering wheel. Out of every way this stop could've gone, being perceived by a new comer and Ronnie was not what you expected. While this hadn't been the worst five minutes or so of your life, it definitely would be another thing keeping you up at night for the next twenty years.

Calming down in the cool quiet dark of your car your slowly brought back to the world by the beginning of a new episode. This one talking about the Tailypo legend. A favorite story of yours from when you were a kid living on the coast of Virginia. So with yet another deep breath and the wave of nostalgia, you pull out of the parking lot and slowly coast down the old dirt road. Heading yet again for the Monongahela forest.

It's nearly two in the morning when you roll up to see an RV parked by the forgotten entrance of the park. It isn't surprising at all to find an RV out here since the Monongahela Forest is one of the most beautiful parks you've ever been to. You also don't think anything of them being parked by this unused entrance because you use it all the time since finding it accidentally. Figuring they just wanted to camp and be left to their own devices rather than use the RV sites and be bothered with other campers here for the summer.

Climbing out of your car you notice the RV isn't new by any means but it isn't a total rust bucket either, looks like it's been passed around throughout the years. There isn't anything to suggest it's been here a while, nothing left set up outside, must have just gotten into town then. You do happen to notice dog tracks around the sandy dirt you've parked in, good to know they have a dog before you slammed your car door. Closing the door gently behind you so you don't startle a pup and wake up it's owner or owners, you make your way through the woods. No real direction in mind, with no real thought in your head. Just the thought of moving and to keep on moving.

You could walk the same path every time you came through and always find something different. In fact that's exactly what happens, you're almost positive that you've deepened the imprint of the path just from walking through several times a week. Following the same winding path you usually do, climbing over the fallen tree, and through a scattering of blueberry thicket's you find yourself on the edge of one of the forest's many streams. It's your favorite spot in the forest so far, and about as far as you've gotten considering these hikes of yours take place during the dead of night.

The wind picks up and sends a chill through you, taking that as a sign you slide down to sit by the stream. Vans placed to your side as you sink your feet into the cool water. It's peaceful out here, so cool, and quiet, save for the slight noises the stream makes, various bubbling and drips. You try to think on things like your recent move, your job, the embarrassing 'mask' incident, just life in general. But you can't seem to form a single thought, this happens a lot, you've recently been conscious of the fact that you've been running on auto pilot for the past two months, hell a lot longer than that. You think everyone must get like this from time to time, but you think you've always been this way. Keen to dissociating and slipping in and out of existence.

It's quite nice really, except for the times like right now where you'd love to figure out why the silence in your head is so painfully loud. The more you think on it the louder it gets and the stronger the buzzing under your skin feels. And right now the static in your mind has been getting louder and louder for the past few minutes. You feel your head jerk to the right of it's own accord, moving back in place it happens for a second time, and then a third, then jerks up, before jerking a forth time to the right effectively cracking you neck.

“There we go.” you mumble, you can relax a bit as the verbal tic indicates the end of this round of tics.

Sighing you look at the sky...that can't be right. The sky has been painted it's fresh baby blues for the day, but again that can't be right. You just got to the stream, that path is a thirty minute walk meaning it should be just about two thirty in the morning, but the sky suggests it's five or six at the latest. Reaching for your water bottle you find it empty next to you. You didn't fall asleep you know that much, perhaps you did dissociate tonight. Well this hike was disappointing if you knew you were going to dissociate you'd have saved yourself that embarrassment and stayed home. Maybe done some painting or tidied up.

Sighing you push yourself off the ground, collecting you vans you're about to put them on when you notice a figure off in the distance. You freeze out of shock and stare at the figure, it stares back. The figure is about ten yards away, god your near sighted ass should really remember to not leave your glasses in the car when hiking. The figure starts to make it's way to you and after a few steps you realize it hasn't moved from it's spot. Rolling your eyes you ignore the hallucination.

You'd really needed to get sleep last night, today is day six of no sleep and though you haven't had many episodes these past few days, you have a feeling they'll start to get more prominent today. Hopefully tonight you can manage to get some rest, the longer you go without sleep the more realistic the hallucinations become. But for today you're content with the knowledge that it's just shadow like beings that you'll be seeing.

After putting on your shoes you start the thirty minute hike back to your car. You're thankful for the weather in Kepler, nothing like back on the coast. Here you can go for a morning hike through the forest while a gentle breeze passes by and the sun starts to give the area a pleasant warmth. Back on the coast you couldn't run and grab the mail without getting drenched in moisture from either sweat, humidity, or a mixture of both.  The coast sucks, hell Virginia sucks altogether, you're glad to be in Kepler.

“I want to go home, home.” you say out of nowhere.

Before you reach the entrance you hear barking, oh the RV campers must be up. Should you be careful not to scare them, or just walk normally and say 'Good morning' in passing, maybe just nod your head in greeting. Oh and you've stopped just beside the entrance as you got lost in your rambling. You didn't mean to come to a stop here, and as you try to move you notice how silent it's gotten. Did the dog go inside, maybe they've already passed...no it's too quiet for that. No the silence is oppressive like the one you deal with nightly, there's a reason for the silence. The situation's making you feel uneasy, but that could be the sleep deprivation talking.

You're about to brush it off and move when you hear a whispered, “Seriously man, I don't think anyone's out there. Let's get inside.”

There's a noise of agreement before you hear shuffling. Oh no, you zoned out and now you look like a weirdo stalker. Just perfect, maybe if you wait around a little more you'll seem more normal or at least feel normal. Not knowing how long to wait you walk along the tree line for a bit, looking at the ground as you do making sure you won't step on any snakes. In you quest to not step on any snakes you spot something suspiciously off white. It seems purposefully buried under a dead blueberry bush and some fallen branches.

Having listened to too many true crime shows, you know better than to implicate yourself in a murder. Grabbing a stick off the ground you gently brush the foliage away from the supposed corpse. No way, you can't believe your luck, it's an actual fucking skull. An intact skull of a deer! That is so cool, you've only seen taxidermists on TikTok getting so lucky and finding these dudes. Since the jaw bone is connected by tissue it of course isn't with the skull but maybe it's close by? Clearly this got planted or hidden by someone, maybe they were planning on pranking a friend by 'uncovering' a skull later. Oh well, finders keepers and all that, you have way better plans for this guy, hopefully you can find that jaw bone.

You set off searching through the foliage and near by bushes with the branch while holding the skull in your other arm. After searching about three feet around and finding no more bones you decide that this is the only part of the deer's skeleton in this area. A little disappointed but still thrilled with your find, you decide it must be a good time to go back to your car.

Surely you won't look weird now. You a little forager with their treasure in hand. Looks like you'll be busy cleaning, then bleaching, and cleaning these bones today. Is that the order to treat found bones? You aren't sure but you can look into that later. Placing the skull in the trunk so it doesn't roll about and get damaged you make sure it's secure before closing the trunk and getting into your car and locking the doors.

Not once did you notice the pairs of eyes that had been watching you. One watching as you found the deer skull, and the other set seeing you place bones into your car. They kept watching as you fiddled with the radio while the car was starting up. They watched as you pulled out of the sandy dirt lot and drove back down the old road a little faster than before now that you could clearly see.

[reidgraygubler]

sunflowers, daisies, lilacs, dahlias (spencer reid/reader)

Title: sunflowers, daisies, lilacs, dahlias

Requested: yes, was a request someone sent to @imagining-in-the-margins​, but I took it of her hands :) (So i get this is sorta hard to do but i was wondering if you could write a spencer x nonbinary (gender-neutral pronouns) reader where reader isn’t out to the team yet but spencer finds out somehow and the reader is afraid he’ll reject them but instead he confesses his feelings and just starts info dumping about third genders in other cultures and the roots of binary america, etc. just like fluffy and accepting. once again, i get it if you don’t want to/can’t but that would be awesome)

Couple: spencer reid/non-binary!reader (they/them pronouns)

Category: fluff

Content Warning: swearing (if any), misgendering, usual criminal minds case work stuff, bi!spencer, lgbt+ history lesson, platonic cuddling (or is it?), kissing (not platonic), Doctor Who season 12 spoilers (weird, I know), afab!reader

Word Count: 4,110

Summary: reader comes out as non-binary to their best friend, Spencer, after they notice he changes the pronouns he uses to talk about them and after the team misgenders them.

A/N: pom (aka @imagining-in-the-margins​) posted this in her discord and said if someone had any ideas for this, we could have it. and i loved the request so i took it off her hands. im also non-binary and only out to a few friends, so this piece is dear to my heart. also, i wrote reader as afab, since that’s also me, but also the request says that reader isn’t out to the team yet, and i had to give reader a gender. so im sorry about that. that’s where the mis-gendering comes in. spencer’s nickname for reader is bumblebee when they’re friends, but once they start dating it’s honeybee… bc reader is…  enbee… thank you all so much for the support! i really do appreciate it. check out my masterlist!

{***}{***}{***}

It was a new day at work. A new day, a new me… Kinda, not really. It’s still old me. I’m just trying to figure out the new me. I think that makes sense. It makes sense to me, so that’s all that matters, I think.

Maybe today was the day I came out to the team as Non-Binary. That’d probably help my feeling of garbage. Not even my own family knew about my little secret. So that’s been something I’ve seriously been thinking about, telling everyone that I was Non-binary and preferred they/them pronouns. 

I kept my head low as I stepped off the elevator and onto the floor of the BAU. The good news is, people weren’t rushing around like I was partly expecting them to be. The bad news is, when I got to my desk, there was a stack of files, waiting to be looked over. And the unfortunate part was, I wouldn’t get to get through half of them, because something told me there was a current case we had to go on. 

That something being Emily Prentiss standing outside her office, looking for everyone on the team. I looked up at her with a pout as she nodded towards the conference room. I looked back at the stack of files before grabbing my go bag and going up to the conference room.

Everyone was already there, waiting for me. Although, I was usually late, in a sensible fashion. So I quickly took my seat beside Spencer and remained quiet as Penelope and Emily told us about the case.

{***}{***}{***}

“We can go to the most recent victim’s house, interview the siblings,” Spencer spoke up as we both walked up to Emily. I looked up at him and nodded, silently agreeing that I could go with. It’s not like I had anything better to do anyways. Tara and Luke were at the newest crime scene. David and Matt were with the ME. And Emily was about to go interrogate the suspect. So, going with Spencer would give me something to do. 

“She’ll have to conduct the interview,” Emily looked up from the file she was reading and right at me. I looked down, away from anyone who was possibly looking at me. Getting mis-gendered was something I was used to, by now anyways. But, for some reason, this time it really bothered me. Emily doesn’t know, it’s fine. It’s mostly my fault anyways. And, I guess it bothered Spencer too, because the expression on his face shifted from normal to… annoyed.

“Of course, they can do the interview. They’re the most like the victim,” Spencer looked at Emily before looking back at me. I looked at him and smiled softly. It was more of a nervous smile than anything else. A change, and correction, in pronoun… I hadn’t exactly told anyone that I preferred different pronouns, I had honestly gotten used to the unfortunate misgendering.

“I can do it, I’m perfectly capable of it,” I smiled at Spencer then over at Emily. So much for a change.

“Then that’s settled, she’ll do it,” Emily looked up at Spencer and smiled before allowing us to leave. I dropped my shoulders as I glanced at Spencer, who was glaring daggers at Emily. He wasn’t usually one to glare at his superiors, especially Emily. 

“We should get going, don’t you think,” I whispered as I looked up at Spencer. He finally looked down at me and nodded. “And, you can do the interview, if you want. I get that I’m a lot like the victim’s sister. But, you do interviews better than me,” I laughed and shook my head. 

“We can do it together. That’s the only way you can get better at interviewing,” he returned the laughter before following beside me. 

“That’s true,” I smiled at him. 

{***}{***}{***}

“I know we always do this, but thanks for letting me stay the night after hard cases,” I looked over at Spencer as he got in his car. I readjusted the grip on my bag as I looked away from Spencer.

“Of course, sleeping over at someone’s house after a case makes it easier to relax, especially after hard cases,” he looked over at me with a smile, “We can order Chinese food if you want,”  he added as he looked back at the road.  

“Yeah, I think I’d like that,” I nodded with a smile. Sometime between solving the last case, and the jet landing I gained the courage to bring up what happened before the interview. You know, the whole they/them thing… With Spencer. I still don’t know how he knew to change my pronouns. 

He was talking about something, it sounded like an episode of Doctor Who.  I sort of felt bad about that too, because I was hardly listening. I was one of the only few people who actually watched Doctor Who with him, and thoroughly enjoyed his commentary. 

“And then the Doctor, who, have I mentioned is a woman now, is in fact the Timeless Child. Did you know that?” He glanced at me as he went on. Again, I felt bad because I wasn’t totally paying attention. “Of course you knew that, we watched the episode together,” he continued to ramble about the episode.

“Spencer,” I spoke, my voice just loud enough for him to hear.

“Mhm, what?” he glanced over at me for a quick second. I looked at him, my mouth opening and closing a few times before actually saying what I was thinking. Which was...

“How did you know?” I asked, my voice a bit of a whisper. I was a little bit scared. How did he know? Sure, Spencer knows everything. But I’m not exactly… Out to the team, let alone Spencer. I don’t think I told him. 

“How did I know what, Bumblebee?” Spencer glanced over at me for a brief second. I sighed deeply as I looked over at him. 

“You used 'they'… When you and Emily were talking about me and the interrogation… You used 'they' and 'them' when you talked about me… How’d you know? I haven’t told anyone…” I whispered as I looked over at him. He stayed silent for a long time. I wasn’t too sure what he was thinking, but it made me very nervous. 

“I saw you at the library with a book about gender/sexuality history and science… And I saw you looking at a non-binary/gender non-conforming forum the other day. So, I connected the dots,” Spencer looked over at me as he pulled to a stop at the red light. I swallowed roughly as I looked at him. “I didn’t mean to off-”

“You didn’t offend me, Spence,” I whispered and shook my head before dropping my gaze from him. My fingers fiddled with the seatbelt across my lap. I could feel my heart going a million miles an hour, and no matter how hard I tried to calm it… nothing worked. “I just… I haven’t used the words out loud before… I’ve haven't told anyone… I mean, I’ve just figured it out myself,” I shrugged again. I glanced at him as he started going again. “I’ve always known I didn’t really identify as… Ya know… And I guess just recently I finally put a name to it,” I sighed as I pressed my head into the headrest. Spencer glanced at me, again. He was obviously trying to keep his eyes on the road, but he was very concerned about our conversation.

“You’ve never said it out loud? Or told anyone?” He asked, clarifying what I had just said. I swallowed roughly and nodded.

“Yeah, I just…” I stopped, letting my words trail off. My thoughts ran wild. If I just said that I was non-binary, it’d make my life easier, I’d be so much happier. So, why haven’t I just come out and said it? “So, say it now. It’s just me,” Spencer whispered as he looked over at me for the briefest second. My heart stopped with his words, and suddenly my mind was quiet. “No one else to hear."

“What?” I spoke, my voice a breathless whisper. I looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. 

“Only if you want to. I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do.” Spencer’s voice was soft as he spoke. I looked over at him, feeling my stomach do an anxious flip.

“What if it changes the way you think about me?” I asked, feeling my throat tighten up around the words. Out of all of the friends that I had, Spencer was the only one I didn’t want to lose. In a weird way, I felt like he understood me. Like we were both the outcasts of the team, for our different reasons. 

“Why would that change the way I think of you?” Spencer looked up at me and I shrugged. I stared at him, feeling my face twist up in confusion. Even his face had some confusion on it. 

“I don’t know. People usually…” My words trailed off again, not knowing what I was exactly wanting to say to him. “You’re not mad at me? Or hate me or anything…? Right…?” I asked, my voice wavering slightly in fear. Fear of what? I was scared he would resent me. It wouldn’t have been the first, or last, time someone resented me. So, why would I expect him to not resent me? 

“Why would I hate you? Because you’re finally more comfortable with yourself? Or want to be more comfortable with yourself?” Spencer looked at me as he furrowed his brows. I looked down at my lap and shrugged. “You still haven’t said it, but we’re talking about it like you did,” he pointed out. I dropped my shoulders as I looked over at him. 

“You really want me to say it,” I laughed dryly. Spencer smiled at me and shrugged.

“Only if you want to. Just think about how much better you’ll feel,” he offered. I looked down at my lap and sighed.

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” I looked back up at him and smiled, “I’m non-binary.” I could feel a certain weight get lifted off my shoulders as I looked at him. Spencer also had a genuine smile on his lips as he looked at me. Like, he also seemed happy with my words.

 “There’s nothing wrong with that, you know,” Spencer smiled at me as he pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building. I glanced at him before laughing. “I’m being serious,” he chuckled lightly.

“I sure hope there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re the one who encouraged me to say it!” I laughed as I unbuckled. Spencer returned the laughter before looking over at me.

“Then, why do you care what the team thinks?” Spencer asked as he searched for his apartment keys. “Their opinion shouldn’t matter. It’s your life,” he shrugged and looked up at me once he finally found his keys.  

“Everyone on the team is all my friends and all my family…” I whispered as I looked over at him, “I don’t know what everyone will think,” I knew he wanted me to say it out loud to the team, but I was avoiding it. It’s not that I’m not ready. I just don’t want him to think differently of me.

“When has anyone on the team thought bad of you, Bumblebee?” Spencer asked again before parking the car. I swallowed roughly and looked back down at my lap. Of course, when I actually cut my hair short the first time… I had gotten a horrible haircut and everyone commented on it. “No one’s going to think anything bad about you if you come out,” he reassured. I sighed deeply as I looked towards the ground.

“Yeah, but I don’t care about them Spencer,” I rolled my eyes. I rolled my eyes because even though I do care what the team thinks, I think I care more about what Spencer thinks about me. But, I didn’t want to tell him that.

“Then, why were you so worried about it,” Spencer looked over at me before getting out of the car. I stayed in the car for a moment, silent with my thoughts. He’s got a point though. Why was I so worried about it? Of course, the team was my family. I don’t think I could risk losing the team for being… well, me. Maybe Spencer was right. Who am I kidding? Spencer’s always right. About everything. Maybe I should just tell the team… I’d feel a lot better.

I stayed quiet as we walked into the apartment building. In fact, we were both silent. Which was a rarity in our friendship; one of us was always talking, and it was always Spencer. He always had something to say. I wondered what he was thinking about in that head of his. Until I didn’t have to wonder...

“Native American people have a third gender, generally called two-spirit, where the person takes on roles more or less attributed to the opposite sex or both sexes,” Spencer suddenly started an info dump. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I read this exact thing in a book not too long ago. But, it meant so much to me that he wanted to tell me this.

“When europeans came along, they came with the strict gender binary rooted in Puritism, which put heavy emphasis on community and the importance of procreational (heterosexual) marriage within,” he paused to glance at me, probably to make sure I was still listening. And I was. There would be nothing to stop me from listening to him. 

 “Once the colonizers became a country after the american revolution, they wanted to get as far away from britain as possible. Part of this came with separating themselves from the effeminate man of Britain, whom they saw as feminine and dainty. As a result, they made the American Man, who is basically Teddy Roosevelt in that he is rugged, bold, strong, brutish, daring, and able to survive on the frontier and provide for his family,” he continued as he unlocked the door to his apartment. It was nice to be in a familiar place that felt like home, and felt safe.

“In comparison, the woman was supposed to be the American Housewife who stayed at home, cooked the meals, and raised the children. Thus, the American binary,” Spencer continued his info dump, clearly not knowing he was talking outloud. 

I just stared at Spencer with the utmost adoration in my eyes and face. A small smile grew on my lips as he continued to ramble and info dump about stuff I was newly introduced to. I don’t know why I didn’t tell him sooner, I’m sure he would have been a big help. “That’s very interesting, Spencer,” I smiled at him and cocked my head to my shoulder. Spencer looked at me, a slight panicked look in his eye. 

“I’m… I’m sorry, was I rambling?” He stopped talking and looked at me after a moment of him talking. I shook my head, silently telling him he wasn’t rambling, even though he totally was. At this point we had parted ways, but still held the conversation between rooms, and across his apartment, him being in the kitchen while I stayed in the living room.

“Anyways… I could continue going on about it all. How WW2 influenced the LGBT community and how Nuclear Families messed it all up too,” he spoke before stepping out of the kitchen and leading me to his bedroom. 

“I’m sorry, what?” I looked back at him with furrowed eyebrows. I was honestly surprised with that tiny tidbit of information. “Go on,” I raised a brow as I looked at him. I got comfortable on the bed while I waited for him.

“Yeah! The advent of urban areas provided the perfect place for sexuality and gender identity expression,” he continued talking as he stepped into the bathroom to change, and even continued while in the bathroom, “Many single people suddenly began moving from rural farms with family and religion to urban apartments on their own or with someone of the same identity/gender/sex,” he finally concluded before stepping out of the bathroom. I looked at him and cocked my head to my shoulder. I didn’t have anything to say after he rambled on, so we both stayed silent as we got comfortable in bed. 

“How do you know so much about gender identity and the LGBT community?” I asked, turning to face him more. Spencer looked at me with a nervous smile before looking out to the blanket spread out over us. 

“Oh, I, uh… I did a lot of research when I saw you in the library… And, after I saw you on the forum,” Spencer looked at me and nodded. I could sense that he was lying, and he knew that I could sense it. So, I raised an eyebrow.

“I’m sure this is the exact reason,” I smiled before shifting down the bed to get comfortable, “No other reason?” I looked up at him. 

“Nope, no other reason,” he looked down at his book before shaking his head. I could tell there was definitely something, and I could tell he wanted to tell me. But, I won’t force it out of him, just like how he didn’t force it out of me.

“Well, if you have something to tell me… I won’t force it outta you,” I looked over at him with a smile. Spencer glanced at me before grabbing for a book on his nightstand. I shifted down the bed and looked at my phone. “No one’s going to think anything bad about you,” I glanced at him again, repeating the exact things he said to me early in the evening. Spencer glared at me before looking back in his book.

“You’re the worst,” 

“You’re worse than me, Spence,” I laughed as I looked at my phone. I grinned as I browsed random social media. “It’s okay, I get it,” I shrugged before falling silent. 

“I suppose it’s only fair,” he spoke out loud after a moment of silence. I looked up at him, watching as he shifted in his seat. He closed his book before looking down at me, “I guess I’ve been in the same boat as you for a while… Not knowing what anyone would think if I came out, fearing that they’d hate me or judge me,”

“Spencer, you’re the most loved person on the team. No one would ever hate you or judge you,” I sat up before turning to look at him. Spencer looked up at me and nodded. I’m glad we could both agree on that. If anyone hated Spencer Reid, I can guarantee that they’d have a whole fleet of FBI agents on their ass. “You can trust me with anything, Spencer,” I whispered before reaching out for his hands. He looked down at where our hands sat before cocking his head to the side.

“I already trust you more than anyone on the team,” he smiled and chuckled with a nod, “I’ve never told anyone except for one person,” he whispered as he looked up at me.

“That’s okay,” I shrugged as I looked at him. 

“I’m bisexual,” he whispered, his eyes dropping away from my. I stared at him, taking a deep breath. A small smile tugged on the corner of my lips as a worried look grew on Spencer’s. 

“Was that so bad?” I whispered as I fell forward to give him a hug. Spencer laughed as he embraced me. “It felt good, didn’t it?” I backed away from him slightly. Spencer smiled and nodded.

“Like a weight off my shoulders,” he laughed as he looked back at me, “Thanks for that,”

“No, thank you, Spencer, I really needed you and your wonderful words of wisdom… I’ve been struggling with my sexuality a lot, ever since I was a teen really, and you just being there helped,” I smiled at him as I got comfortable in the bed. With that, we fell into a comfortable silence. Sleep wouldn’t find its way to us anytime soon. I think we were both still reeling on the adrenaline of the day. 

But then, I started thinking about our conversation in the car. When I had mentioned I was worried about him (or anyone else) thinking differently of me. I mean, that’s been a fear of mine for years. Someone can go from loving you to the ends of the earth to wanting to be on the furthest end of the earth just to be away from you. So, my fear was totally valid. I didn’t want to lose my friendship with Spencer, or anyone on the team.  

I quickly glanced at Spencer, noting that he was still quietly reading his book. He seemed at total peace with, well, everything. How did he do it? How did he get out of his head after a rough case, and after such a serious conversation? There were too many things I wanted to know, and too many questions I wanted to ask… Why not just ask them?

So, I did...

“Earlier, when you said me being non-binary wouldn’t change the way you think of me… How do…” I paused for a minute, trying to figure my next set of words. Because I could say something wrong, and it’d be the end of everything. “What do you think of me?” I looked up at him as I spoke. He smiled softly and nodded. It was probably a mistake, asking him what his thoughts were on me. I could only think of the worst. Well, I shouldn’t say the worst possible. Worst case scenario was that he was faking it all and he actually hated me. Well, don’t be too hard on yourself.  

“Well, you know,” Spencer shrugged as he shifted closer to me. I looked up at him before leaning away from him. 

“No, I don’t think I do know,” I stared at him, furrowing my eyebrows. He looked at me, dropping his book to his lap and slumping his shoulders slightly. 

“I love you… Okay? I love you whether you’re they/them, she/her, he/him, I don’t care, as long as you’re happy. If you’re happy, then I’m happy, because that’s all that matters to me. Your happiness,” he rambled for a minute. I just stared at him, feeling my shoulders relax as he spoke. My heart rate raised as he continued to talk about how he really felt about me, and I wished he said something sooner… “Hearing Emily misgendering you, and knowing what was going through your head… Sucked… It sucked watching! You deserve the best things…” He continued on, not caring that he was still rambling.

“Spencer,” I whispered, resting a hand on his shoulder to gain his attention. 

“And it’s ridiculous how long I’ve been in love with you too! I should have said something sooner but I didn’t! I don-”

“Spencer!” I shouted this time. It wasn’t an angry shout, though. No, the giggles in my voice and joyful smile on my lips told a different story. And that seemed to get his attention, considering he stopped talking and looked at me. His eyes scanned my face, landing on the joyous smile on my lips. 

“Yes?” He asked softly. I nearly fell into his body, and face, as I let my excitement get the better of me as I tried to kiss him. Spencer laughed as he lifted his hands to my shoulders to make sure I didn’t crash into him.

“I love you too,” I smiled as I looked up at his face. His eyes landed back on my face, his smile becoming soft as he looked at me. The expression his face held showed me that I was now his everything. And, it was a new feeling. I would never get used to a feeling so… grand. But, it was a feeling that I loved, and knew it’d be around for a long time. “What do you think the team will say?” I asked, looking at Spencer as he cupped my face in his hands. 

“About what, Honeybee?” he retorted, his voice a soft whisper. 

“About us, you and me being, well, you and me,” I tried to bite back my smile but failed when Spencer smiled back.

“Who cares what they think… I just care about you,” he smiled before pulling me back in for another kiss. 

“I think I like that answer." 

taglist: @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto​ , @thebluetint​

[fenristheorem]

Hi can we ask you nsfw headcanons for lance please?

Oh hell yea you can! I suppose since you asked kindly. 😉

*Note: This post is completely nsfw - as asked for - and is, therefore, descriptive and filthy and has lots of swears. There are absolutely no safe / non-descriptive parts through this, so don’t read if you’re uncomfortable with descriptive sexual situations or explicit language.

Also, I sort of inserted Guardienne into this - rather than leaving this without mention of a partner - for the sake of being able to describe things easier.

~Under the cut~

General nsfw for Lance:

To start off, Lance is likely quite large. He’s very tall and is probably very muscular (considering his profession) noticeably very muscular (thanks episode 4), and while that doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s large, it’s clear that his genetics have left him gifted with height and a masculine body (broad shoulders, high cheekbones, etc.) so that likely translates to his manhood as well. He’s not the largest male to ever exist, but he’s certainly larger than average and is generously thick. He has one or two prominent veins that run jaggedly down his length, and leans slightly to the side when fully hardened. His grooming routine is very basic - just enough to keep from things being unmanageable down there - and is completely flexible if his partner would like him to shave or grow out a bit more.

Lance hasn’t had sex for nearly as long as he can clearly remember - and those memories are usually overwritten with nauseating whispers that remind him that that was during a time when he was naive and spiraling towards an inevitable downfall into madness and destruction against Eldarya - so the first time he experiences these kind, pleasurable touches again, when he’s stable and with a clear mind, it’s intense and he truly embraces the feel. He falls into her with a heat and passion that he’s long since forgotten, but has now been remembered and revived by her presence and want for this. However, once the first time is over - it’s over. It stays with him always, though - it was his first time with a woman in years and the first time since he’s righted himself.

His manner changes in time - but only to some degree. He’s less quickly taken by the pleasure and can hold out longer, and he finds that he really likes to torture her with long bouts of foreplay when he can finally manage to restrain himself for that. Of course, he needs to be in a certain mood to do that. It’s much more common for him to tease her until she’s moaning and wet for him, and then let himself indulge in her slick warmth until he loses himself in her. Those times where he tortures her with long, relentless forms of foreplay happen only when he knows he can hold out for hours watching her writhe and moan and pant beneath him, holding her down as sweat glosses her skin and her desperation leaves her begging for him.

That being said: sex becomes a major outlet for him. He’s a warrior, so it’s common for him to practice his fighting skills against other members of the Obsidian guard and release energy and emotions that way, but it’s not very intimate - he has a lot of future opportunities to practice his skills and it gets tiring to be constantly pummeled with attacks - and it does get a bit boring when you learn each and every colleague’s tactics and know so many tactics yourself that it’s not very hard to win. Late nights spent with his woman become cherished moments in between his routine life of fighting, trying to forgive himself, and making sure everyone is kept in check. There are times where he’s soft, gentle - tracing his fingers over her skin as he breathes in her scent and basks in her warmth and kind touch. He’ll take her slowly, keeping their lips locked in deep, passionate kisses while holding her close as he makes love to her. However, there are also times where he fucks to forget. Memories will come upon him - all bad and unwelcoming to the point where he nearly isolates himself for the day to attempt to hopelessly mend himself - or the day will be overly stressful with no feelings of hope, and he’ll take comfort in the pain that lashes across his back as she claws at him, or the way her lewd screams for him will drown out his own internal screams desperately wishing that things turned out differently. He’ll find himself fucking into her until he can’t possibly think of moving afterward - when he seeks to curl up into her arms and sleep away his troubles - and when she’s nearly crying from the erotic pleasure he drowns her in, he’ll be forgetting what it was like for him to have ever been in agony of any sort.

He doesn’t like that second form of sex very much. It’s enjoyable when they’re both in the mood to be rough and fuck each other up, but the mentality he’s in then versus when he fucks because he needs the distraction is very different. He enjoys rough sex on the occasion, but he hates sex that's used to forget and wear himself out - but he’s not sure of any other tactics that will ease him of that pain in the same way rough sex does.

Just as he enjoys rough sex (normal rough sex, not the desperate-to-forget type), he also enjoys softer forms of sex. After years upon years of doing nothing but fighting and suffering in pain, it’s nice to be able to embrace his partner with soft, kind touches as he presses into her - knowing that he could easily go for hours on end and countless rounds without growing tired of the passionate yet relaxed pace he sets. Her touch is gentle and welcoming, always pulling him closer and running over his form as she kisses him sweetly. Occasionally a thought, a comparison sparked from her gentleness, will run through his mind - a reminder that he’s agonized through so much in his fucked up life - but it’s quickly, easily dismissed as he recognizes that things are different now. He has her, and as he anchors his partner completely against him, grinding his hips against hers and filling her slowly again and again, his thoughts are washed away in another way - a subtle, quiet way that’s almost bittersweet until he no longer remembers what began to eat at him. Lance likes to truly embrace her in these soft moments; gently holding her thighs to keep her open for him, resting his forehead against hers and keeping affectionate eye contact, softly tracing the sensitive parts of her skin with a brush of his calloused fingers, pressing passionate, slow kisses to her lips and neck as he urges her to hold him closer. He’ll never once falter as he moves within her, wishing to portray through his touch what words could never say; wishing she could even begin to grasp just how much her companionship means to him.

Rough sex is typically used for him to forget, soft sex is used for him to truly love her.

In terms of where they have sex; he’s not afraid to be a bit adventurous. Although he feels most safe in their bedroom, sometimes the urge is just so overwhelming that he needs to have her in the middle of the day. So take her to their room and have his way with her? Nope, he's been fantasizing about taking her on the conference room table, so that's where it's going to happen if there's no one around. He’ll assess her first, making sure she’s not in a bad mood that could interfere with his advancements and cause a possible scene, and then drag her - subtly - to a secluded corner of the guard and have his way with her, be it on a table, against the wall, or even if he needs to hold her up without any other support - he’s a warrior, he has the strength to suspend her weight on his own. Lance will typically find a place where no one really visits to do this, but occasionally they’ll feel very risky and have a quick round in a currently quiet but semi-active place. Let’s just say that they’ll never view the forge or conference room in the same way... These times in semi-active places are usually pretty late at night, though - when Lance is working a late night at the forge or they know the conference room won’t be busy for a few hours... usually.

An important thing to know is that he sees sex in a very instinctual, carnal way. He’s deeply in tune with his emotions and - being a dragon - his instincts as well. For him, sex is a great way to connect with his partner and blow off steam, but he makes it clear early on that - while he can control himself and back off if she needs a moment to breathe - he can only control himself so much during the moment. Sex is emotional and instinctual; if she’s giving no signs of being uncomfortable then he’s just as much a victim of his overwhelming desires that submerge him in violent torrents of racking need in the same way he does to her. For this reason, their safe-words and touches (in the case where they can’t speak) are very clear and easy to recognize, so he can be quick to realize her distress and reign himself in to back off. The last thing Lance wants is to accidentally hurt her or make her uncomfortable about joining him in bed again - or being around him in general after seeing him in such a vulnerable, feral state - so before they get into anything too crazy he’s quick to communicate concerns with her and form ideas to assure nothing goes wrong. 

Lance would never in a million years reveal his kinks... and Guardienne would be rendered speechless with her face the color of a sunset at a reminder of those nights. What kinks Lance is into that night depends on his mood really. Some days, when he’s feeling good - assertive and possessive - and he’ll advance on her confidently. He’ll pin her down on the bed, holding her wrists above her with one hand while the other evokes his powers to make the skin of his hand ice cold as it ghosts over her in specific ways that perk her senses. Lance may take a soft rope or fabric and tie her wrists or blindfold her - even better if it’s both - and purposefully leave her untouched for a certain amount of time. She’ll grow shy as she knows he’s admiring every part of her, but she won’t have long to think about it before he starts to touch her - the pad of his thumb brushing over her nipple before gently pinching, his other hand ghosting up her inner thigh to rest near her slit, his mouth trailing along her lower abdomen as he kisses lower and lower until his tongue laps at her. The air in the room will grow cold around her as she arches her back and moans, writhing softly against her restraints and his warm touch as the hand Lance rested on her thigh joins his ministrations directly between her legs. Later on, when he’s so deep inside her dripping warmth that his head spins, he’ll take her neck in hand and squeeze, ice blue eyes meeting her lustful gaze with a heat of his own as he fucks her and chokes her. He won’t mind if she claws haphazardly at him - he has scars already, what are a few more that were received during their passionate, late-night romps? Lance isn’t worried about if he’s too rough, either; he’s treated her way worse in the past and they’ve established a clear network of terms and touches if either of them need a break or can’t handle something at the moment.

He’ll enjoy dirty talk as well, whether it’s him or her speaking - although he really enjoys her responses to his comments. His voice will drop octaves lower, a rumbling rasp taking his voice as he speaks and says the most filthy things to her with a faint cruel grin. Some days she’s easily taken by pleasurable touches he inflicts on her, readily begging and pleading for him to appease her needs as she submits to him. Other days she’ll want a fight, responding to his commands with witty remarks - sparked only because she likes the way he looks at her when he’s defied - that urge him to growl and stare at her with burning eyes as he fantasizes her impending surrender. Occasionally those witty remarks - followed by more sensual pressuring from his end - turn into deals; she’ll do this, as he’s been demanding, as long as he allows her to do this to him afterwards. These agreements are nearly always accepted, only rejected in the rare case where Lance couldn’t possibly hold out that long for her to tease him in a certain way, but when they’re accepted they’ve always yielded tantalizing results.

Don’t even begin to tempt him with a good pair of lingerie, though. Sex, again, is a very instinctual, feral thing for him. He has a very hard time controlling his impulses when they’re evoked while his partner is around, especially in private, so when she purposefully tempts him - knowing very well how fragile his sexual self-control is - by sitting him down and stripping and waltzing around his room with nothing but thin, taunting underwear on he nearly loses himself completely. Guardienne knows to use caution when bearing lingerie - it has a heavy effect on Lance as it’s almost guaranteed to throw him into a fit of blind lust, picking her up and throwing her on the bed or pinning her against the wall to hold her still and stare down at her, burning the image into his mind before having his way with her. However, once in a while, Lance will sit obediently as she bears herself, only just faintly breathing as he watches her move in alluring, seductive ways that leave his cock aching and his skin shivering. He’ll wait patiently for her to come to him, but once she settles on his lap she’s fair game, and he’ll quickly take her under him to attack her. He makes a point not to tear the underwear though - he wants to see it again in the future.

He’s fine with nearly any position she wants at the moment, but he does have a few favorites. He loves missionary for a multitude of reasons; he can watch every expression that flits across her features, hear her lewd moans and pleads better (he doesn’t care if that makes her a bit louder than what he’s usually comfortable with), hold her in a variety of ways ranging from possessively / aggressively pinning her down, to tenderly / sensually laying completely against her, he can adjust her legs or entwine their fingers, and kiss her whenever he wishes (which is especially helpful if he feels she’s becoming loud enough to hear through the walls). Doggy is a favorite as well; it’s nice to rest his weight on her back as he grasps her hips and ruts into her, kissing and biting at the back of her neck and having the freedom to wrap his arms completely around her to pull her back into him. He’ll happily hold her up against a wall (or nothing at all) with her legs around his waist or suspended by his forearms, and will eagerly bend her over a table, or - if they’re truly desperate enough to revert to that sort of animalism - will take her right on the floor if they can find a comfortable position. Occasionally Guardienne will ride him, and while he’ll gladly take to controlling the situation from below, he’ll also enjoy being allowed to lay there watching and basking in the wonderful pleasure she inflicts on him.

He knows all of his partner’s sensitive spots; he’s explored her body many times over and purposely takes to memorizing (and testing) which spots make her tick for the sole sake of knowing how to rile her up whenever he wants. It took his partner a bit longer to learn his sensitive spots, but through the deals they’ve made she’s managed to hold him down long enough to discover these gems (yes, she’s had Lance tied up helpless in front of her multiple times to discover this stuff, it’s a sight to behold.) Of course there are the typical sensitive spots like the neck, lips, pelvis, etc., but she’s found a few other specifics in time. Pulling at his hair, gently biting the muscle just behind and below his ear, nipping at his ear, and digging her nails into the lower back of his neck are a few spots that have been discovered over time, bound to draw a rough grunt or a growl from him as he grips her hips or jerks aggressively against his bindings. Clawing at his lower back when she’s under him, especially paired with clinging tightly to him, provokes an assertive quality within that leads him to hold his hips against tightly hers and anchor his upper body around her as he moves within her core without breaking away from her. When she rides him, pressing her hands into the muscles of his lower abdomen while her hips roll rhythmically against his spurs him to arch his back just slightly in an attempt to lift his hips from the bed, beautifully tensing his body in response to her surging movements as he grunts and heaves a breath.

In the end, it matters less on what and where his sensitive spots are, and more on how she uses it to her advantage. His partner will have the most unrestricted access to these spots when his wrists are tied and immovable from above his head - although she doesn’t really like to blindfold him as she can’t see his burning, icy eyes as they lock onto her or flick closed in moments of ecstasy - and they’ve learned in time that they need to use soft rope or chains to keep him bound. Any thinner material and the hold will snap under his strength as he loses himself to the occasional struggle against his restrains, seeking in the moment only to escape and throw her under him so he can have his way with her. The first time they realized this was a rather surprising but thrilling experience... However, when they finally manage to find a material that can withstand his strength, his partner will be the one who needs to hold back on her desires for a while now - for the sake of watching how Lance’s scarred, tanned skin tightens around hard muscles as he groans and pants under her teasing ministrations. Faint beads of sweat will accumulate on his skin, casting a beautiful sheen over him while she kisses and nips at his skin, one delicate hand braced on his lower abdomen while the other brushes along his strong hips, touching anywhere but his hardened, twitching cock as pre-cum wells at the tip. All of the teasing of his sensitive spots are just foreplay up until the point where she finally moves lower, settling down at his hips to take his length into her mouth, dragging her tongue along him and sucking at his head as he growls, snarls, and pulls against his restrains until she’s finally waited enough and leans over him to sink down onto his thickness with a moan. His muscles will ripple under gleaming skin as he fights the clattering restraints again, his partner pulling the hair at the nape of his neck while sucking and nibbling at his upper neck as he grunts husky, cavernous moans. Much of the time she’ll need to make sure he isn’t accidentally pulling himself higher on the bed as he flexes his arms - this is usually solved by anchoring her weight onto his lower abdomen or hips - as he certainly has the strength to do so with ease, and she’ll need to brace herself when she finally releases him from his restrains; he’ll grasp her without mercy and throw his weight on top of her to pin her down and fuck into her at a breathtaking pace - and this is also how she found out that digging her nails into his lower back reinforces his dominating behavior.

This leads to his manner in bed. Lance is quite adaptable with how he treats her - always assuring that she’s enjoying, of course - and his spectrum can range from being a gentleman and taking her softly and quietly to gripping at her ruthlessly and fucking her so hard it’s a miracle that the bed doesn’t break and neighbors don’t complain. The nature of their sex depends on both their moods - if they’re both feeling content and affectionate then that’ll likely translate into tender, slow touches that glide warmly along their skin, passionate kisses and soft moans as they embrace not just a bonding between their physical forms, but also a bonding on a deeper level of their existence. In the times where they’re feeling frisky and searching for a challenge, they’ll wrestle on the bed - fighting for dominance of the situation with tantalizing touches and sultry words - until Lance inevitably pins her down permanently. From this point, he’ll either torture her with pleasurably agonizing touches or she’ll strike a deal with him, agreeing to let her have control if these certain demands are met at some point. However, sometimes they don’t even need to make a deal - Lance is completely fine with being the one writhing beneath her for a change some days, all she needs to do is ask.

Just as Lance enjoys seeing his partner gasping helplessly beneath him, he also enjoys nights where their roles are reversed. He’s completely fine being bound, choked, bitten and clawed at - hell, sometimes he urges her to do so - enjoying seeing her submit to her desires and also because he enjoys the way he loses himself in his instincts as he growls, fights restraints, and grows lightheaded as pleasure overwhelms him. He views sex as an instinctual thing, but he doesn’t always let himself succumb completely to his desires as he knows it may be too overwhelming for her sometimes, so instead of exhausting her whenever he seeks to lose control, he let’s himself be bound so he can submit to his impulses as much as he wants while drawing their appetite out and giving her the satisfaction of the control as she watches him lose himself. His partner learns in time, too, that she can be as rough as she wants with him - especially when he truly succumbs to his carnal instincts - even to the point of drawing blood and leaving scars; he’s a powerful warrior, familiar with pain as it is, and isn’t afraid to incorporate that into his sex life if she’s in the mood to include it.

Lance is very versatile - he can be rough and demanding or soft and affectionate, but he’ll always portray himself in a very feral manner, whether he wants to or not. Due to this, sleeping with him isn’t for the faint of heart. This man would happily drown himself in a full, long night of overwhelming ecstasy with his partner, so she’ll need to be prepared for that possibility by having in-depth knowledge of his weak spots and what makes him tick if she wishes to survive the night and still walk in the morning. Fortunately, once she learns how he works, she shouldn’t have much of an issue in spending long nights with him - but she will need to remain cautious; the more she uses these pleasing tactics, the more he loses himself to his demanding instincts that tell him to pin her down and fuck her until the sun rises. Like that time where they found out that a mere thin cloth wouldn’t bind him; if she’s not careful she could find herself suddenly, unexpectedly beneath a passionately simmering dragon. Although, those times where he accidentally gains the upper hand in a fit of carnal aggression do seem to be much more thrilling and rewarding than when they expected him to be the dominant one...

I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of writing nsfw for Lance lol. I tried to cover a lot of different topics, but there’s certainly more that could be talked about, so I’m happy to do a part 2 if anyone wants to request it.

Thank you for requesting!

Have a request? Ask them here!

But first, please read the rules list for asks!

[attack-on-kiwi]

Jean alphabet ?🥲😌

The crush I have on this man is embarrassing-

Jean Kiirstein:

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Jean is a simple guy. Any time he’s around his s/o, he’s content. Usually, he will let them pick what they want to do. He’s not averse to just spending a day tending to the horses and riding around valleys on them. He finds it freeing. It’s especially enjoyable if they two are sharing the ride and his s/o is hugging him just tight enough from behind and laughing into his back. He doesn’t think that will ever stop bringing butterflies into his stomach.

He looks forward to any sort of domestic activity. Sleeping in and holding his s/o from leaving bed, helping them cut up vegetables for breakfast, surprising them with flowers or sweets when he has the opportunity to- anything classic, sweet, and intimate.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

They bring him back to reality. He’s not idealistic in any sense- instead he tends to get lost in his thoughts and can spiral into negative outbursts. He can also become closed off, so having his s/o, who can snap him back to his sense and remind him that not everything has gone to hell (even though, it’s pretty damn close to being so), means the world to him.

Jean is smitten. Another guy who thinks his s/o is the most gorgeous being to ever grace the earth. He thinks they’re the most beautiful when. they’re concentrating on a task. The way they refuse to let anyone or anything get in the way of their objective, no matter how menial or grand, bubbles pride in him.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Jean would drop everything that can be put off to help his s/o. He absolutely hates when they feel upset, and he’s not that good at comforting people. He’ll just crouch down (or bring them down if they’re taller) to eye level and ask them what they need him to do. His voice is soft, laced with concern. 

Jean damn near might tear up himself if his s/o is upset enough. He’ll stay with them for as long as they need to, and then some more. He’s likely going to hover or keep an eye on them for the next few days to make sure they’re truly all right.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Jean wants to get married and have a family. He doesn’t care if the kids are biological or adopted, but he wants kids. He could settle for a son and daughter, but it doesn’t really matter. He’d like at least two kids to keep him on his toes. He aspires to give them the most peaceful life and wants to be present in their lives for anything and everything.

He’s terrified of the idea of becoming a husband and father, but it’s one of the thoughts that keeps him going. He knows he wants his s/o by his side for the rest of their lives. Considering everything they’ve been through, he’s already planning on how to propose.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Jean doesn’t think of being dominant or passive in a relationship. He can take initiative in most cases, but he’s not going to impose on his s/o. He’s present in the relationship, and will often check in with his s/o. to make sure that they’re okay. It’s important to him that they be transparent and aware of how the other is feeling, though he might bury his own feelings quite often.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Being as confrontational as he is, it’s not uncommon to get into fights. He never gets physical with his s/o. The two are rather prone to heated arguments that can escalate to screaming at each other if the conflict is serious enough. 

Jean absolutely hates that he can’t hold himself back. He’s too forthright with his thoughts.. He does try his best not to hit low blows. No matter what, his arguments are based on fact and he won’t rely on jabbing at his s/o’s insecurities to gain an edge during a fight.

He needs his space. Usually, this just means the two separate and cool down a few hours. The longest he will go without speaking to them is a night. First thing in the morning, he’ll try to calmly confront them and apologize for his behavior, asking if they can try to talk the issue out now that they’ve had some rest.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Jean’s a grateful man, even if his slight pessimistic attitude can point you otherwise. He doesn’t verbally say that he’s grateful, but his actions truly speak louder than his words. He’s always got an eye on his s/o, he stops them when they’re overexerting themselves, he can sense when all they need is to be held for a few moments, and he’s always seeking out ways to make their day brighter. 

One way he might allow himself to be vulnerable is sitting behind them in bed and clasping their hands together, kissing each of their knuckles lightly. Jean likes to speak just above a whisper, listing why he loves them.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

No huge secrets. He does hide how he’s feeling at times, especially if he is stressed and doesn’t want them to feel pressured. Jean does press his s/o to tell him whatever is on their mind, though. The two have an honest relationship. You have to be blunt if you want to work with Jean, after all. He doesn’t mind if his s/o needs to keep secrets, as long as it’s nothing serious, like their loyalty to him shifting.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Jean allows himself to be more sensitive around his s/o. Normally, he would never entertain being overtly emotional or softer yet around his s/o, he’s quite different. There’s a gentleness about him which no one gets to see any other time. Truly, he will keep this persona for behind closed doors, but it does seep into his day to day. He’s kinder to people after he’s spent time with his partner. 

He is fighting for the people he loves-- to guarantee they can live fulfilling lives, grow old, then finally die peacefully. It’s all he wants, and having people to fight for is his heaviest inspiration.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He’s secure with himself in most senses, but there are times when Jean feels like he could be giving his s/o more attention or time. He may feel a twinge of guilt if his s/o starts to deflate at the idea of asking him if he has free time because it hurts that they worry about getting in the way of his work. During these episodes, it’s easy for Jean to become suspicious of other people, specifically other men, that are hovering around his s/o more than before. If it bothers him enough, he will call it out.

Usually, Jean is to ashamed of feeling insecure to outright explain why he’s jealous. His s/o can gauge if he’s uneasy by how clingy he is afterwards.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Jean’s kisses are either shy or extremely passionate. Depending on how much adrenaline is rushing through his body, he can encapsulate his partner in a fiery lip lock that will leave them short of an accidental asphyxiation (sorry I need to shut up). When he’s sleepy or has been missing his s/o, he’s prone to soft, short pecks. He likes to whisper into their lips, most of the time, he will be saying, “Just one more” as he dozes off.

His s/o is his first kiss, so it’s about as awkward as first kisses can get. His mouth and throat were dry. He wasn’t sure if he should tilt his face. They would get close then Jean would fumble, trying to adjust for better access. Finally, he got frustrated and just crashed their lips together for not even a second before pulling away, face glowing pink. Don’t worry, he’s gotten slightly better.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Jean discovers early on. Within months, he’s positive he’s in love with his s/o. He is terrified of telling his partner due to fear of abandonment and humiliation that stems from a childhood of being bullied. (pry this from my cold dead hands). Regardless of how strong he feels, he won’t outright confess his love until the two have been together for a good amount of time. That can amount to months or even a year or so, depending on just how serious he’s feeling about the relationship.

He’s the type of person that is practicing in the mirror how to confess, and unknowingly, his s/o will hear him. If he’s lucky, they feel the same way and just walk in to tell him they love him too and watch his brain short circuit as it processes what just happened. 

On a serious note, though, Jean would be nervous to confess. He’d make a date out of the entire ordeal-- choosing to take his s/o out for a nice dinner and at night, as they’re stargazing in a remote field, he’d hold their hand and say he needs to tell them something. Even in the evening, it’s easy to see him heat up. He’d whisper it at first. His s/o needs to let him collect his thoughts, and as soon as he’s gathered them, he’d confess full throttle. His voice shakes slightly, but his conviction is apparent.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Jean fantasizes of getting married quite often, and this only increases as he gets closer to his s/o. 

He’s honest with his s/o and the topic of marriage comes up in late night conversations quite often. He’s confessed that once the fighting is over, they’ll get married the next day. There’s no proposal, just a promise that keeps the two fighting to live another day. His mother actually gives him her own wedding ring, telling him to get it resized if need be, but she hopes it can become a family heirloom. Jean’s a romantic, and this gets him flustered yet excited.

Peaceful. Marriage with Jean is as mundane as can be. Sure, there’s going to be times when old friends come wreck havoc, but it’s all taken in stride. He likes waking his s/o up with a kiss to the cheek. If they want to pat his hair dry or brush it after his shower, he’ll try distracting them with sly neck kisses. He wants his kids to see how much he loves his spouse and groan in disgust as they try to get their parents to hurry up so they can all eat. Jean’s content/

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

He calls them by their name mostly. Sometimes he’ll shorten it or give them an alternative where it’s the first syllable of their name with -y at the end if possible. 

Jean calls them beautiful and gorgeous when he’s trying to make them laugh.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

The beginning is akin to puppy love. He’s so flustered but curious about everything they do and say. He’s kind to them and chokes up around them when he hasn’t had time to formulate a response. Definitely the type of guy who stares at his s/o wistfully with a dazed grin on his face. He’s been caught doing this to them across the room on multiple occasions. Needless to say-- everyone and their mother knows Jean’s smitten.

He tries to express his feelings by complimenting them. If he can help them out with errands or studying (if they met during the cadet training) he’s more than happy to shave off time to do so. He likes being able to take a load off their shoulders, so he won’t mind doing a little extra work.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Jean acts big, but he gets shy. The only time he’ll ever really kiss his s/o in front of others Is if he’s being teased or egged on and he wants to show he’s not ashamed of his partner. He loves them dearly, but showing affection in public isn’t the biggest priority for him.

 If they’re out in the market, he loves having them hold onto his arm as they lead him wherever the like. If there’s less people around, he won’t argue with locking fingers. His s/o might catch him off guard with some sneaky kisses that are sure to provoke him.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Everything about his hands. They’re not as rough as some other people, though they aren’t insanely soft. He can give amateur massages and knows how to exert just the right amount of pressure to make the experience enjoyable, even for the most fidgety/ticklish s/o. It’s his secret to helping them relax and release pent up tension.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Jean loves romance. He loves being in love and having an excuse to try his hand at sappy love letters and poetry. He’s not the best, but what he writes down makes his s/o’s heart flutter. He just wants them to know how much he cares about them, even if he has a hard time expressing himself accurately. 

He’s the type of guy who picks up pastries because he remembered his s/o liked them a few weeks ago and the bakery finally made them again. He’ll polish their shoes if they haven’t had the energy to do it themselves. He’ll remind them to eat. His idea of making them happy is making sure that they are well taken care of.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He’s their biggest fan and simultaneously their biggest critic. Jean supports their endeavors, but he will not mask his opinions just to make them feel better. He’s tough on them because he wants to see them succeed. He’ll help them if he can, but he won’t hold them back from their potential by lying to them. 

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Jean loves trying out new things with his s/o, especially once the world opens up to them. He wants to explore everything, while still having some sense of routine in their lives. No dates that could potentially harm him or his s/o. He’s spending time with them, not trying to fight for survival, after all. Dates can be adventures-- he won’t mind going on hikes or exploring nearby terrain, however, he’d much rather try new foods and experience new technology instead. 

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Jean likes to think he knows his partner inside and out, but he’s conflicted about the duality of everyone in his life when push comes to shove, so he finds himself wondering if he truly knows them. This is just his insecurity and hurt surfacing, but he can spiral into pondering whether his s/o care about him as much as he cares for them. He knows he gives them opportunities to tell them about themselves, and he’s picked up on their quirks over the time they’ve been together. In reality, Jean genuinely does know more about them than he thinks he does. It’s hard not to feel comfortable around him, after all. 

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

His relationship is extremely important to him as he’s always had issues with letting people in on his vulnerable side. He has insecurity issues stemming from a variety of sources and knowing how people could use him puts him off from working on most relationships. Finding his s/o and being slapped in the face by the reality that someone genuinely loves him and wants to learn with him is eye opening. Due to this, Jean tries extremely hard to work on himself and the relationship as best he can. There’s no way he’d half ass something so good.

Though Jean’s relationship is on the. top of his priorities, his mission is still going to overshadow his desire to be with his s/o. It’s not that the mission is more important-- it’s that he needs to complete the mission so that his beloved can finally rest. He wants to protect them, and protecting them means he has to put his life on the line, unfortunate as it is.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Jean’s a mother hen to his s/o. He’s always nagging them to eat, sleep, shower and make sure they’re taking care of themselves. He’s always been in tune with the health of other people, and he just naturally wants to make sure that his s/o is in optimal condition. He will literally snap and physically force them to sleep if he needs to. He gets irritated if they’re neglecting themselves due to the fear of them getting hurt or sick.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Yes!! All he wants to do is cuddle. He loves holding his s/o, but he loves being held more. When they run their fingers through his hair and mention a silly hairstyle he could try, he almost considers it. He falls asleep on their chest almost every night. 

If he’s upset, a simple kiss to the cheek or head is enough to bring a small smile back on his face.

His favorite place to be kissed would be his temples. There’s something soothing and homely about soft lips brushing past his hair to linger right above his brow. It’s also a surefire way of inducing drowsiness in him.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Jean just bites the feeling back and swears that he will see his s/o as soon as he can. The idea that they will be waiting for him is enough for him to power on. Occasionally, Jean may doodle them in the margin of a report or in his personal journal. He thinks about what their next date could be and wonders if they ever found that stray cat they mentioned a few conversations ago. He thinks about them and all the things they can do once they’re together, and it’s enough to motivate him.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He’s literally tryna save the world for them lol

~~~

Based off @snk-warriors​ fluff alphabet prompt

[thatfanficstuff]

Impossible - 11

Pairing: Reader x Eric Northman

Warnings: nope

A/N: I no longer have access to true blood so i’m going off of episode summaries and my poor, poor memory so this will be diverting even further from the show than it has been. As a reminder, Jason never met Amy and never kidnapped Eddie. 

***

It was past dawn before Eric and you finally slept so it didn’t surprise you to discover it was after one when you woke. You grabbed a bag and filled it with what you needed for several days. Odds were you wouldn’t make it more than a couple without Eric coming to retrieve you anyway.

When you got to Sookie’s you twisted the knob intending to just walk in as usual. You frowned when you found the door locked. It wasn’t like her to lock up when she was home, but there was a killer on the loose. You knocked but received no answer. A walk around the house to the other door yielded the same results.

You huffed a sigh and pulled out your phone to call her.

“I am so sorry,” she answered before you even said a word.

“Where are you?”

She paused before answering which meant whatever she said next was likely to be at least a half-truth if not a full out lie. “It sort of slipped my mind you were coming. Sam and I are running an errand out of town. We should be back before dark.”

You clenched your teeth to keep from saying any of the many things that came to mind. “I don’t suppose you have a key hidden around here anywhere?”

“Not since Dawn. Jason has a key. I could tell him to let you borrow it.”

Seeing Jason Stackhouse ranked at the very bottom of the list of things you wanted to do that day. “I can manage. I’ll see you later.” You hung up before she could respond. It was probably safer that way.

You spent your time waiting in a booth at Merlotte’s. You ate a meal while you read a book you kept in your truck for when you needed to entertain yourself. When Lafayette had a break, he’d come out and sit so the two of you could catch up.

The sky had grown dark before you noticed and you gathered your things to head back to Sookie’s. You parked beside Sam and grabbed your bag. You didn’t bother to knock when you got to the door. Part of you wished you had when you caught Sam and Sookie making out on the sofa. You cleared your throat and they jumped away from each other. “Am I interrupting something?” Your lips twitched.

“Yeah, you are,” Sam answered with an irritated expression on his face.    

“No, of course not,” Sookie was quick to correct. She gave Sam a look as she hopped to her feet.

His disgruntled expression had a smile flirting with your lips again.

“I think Y/N has it from here, Sam.”

That got Sam off his ass. He turned so his back was to you as if that would keep you from hearing their conversation. “Don’t you think we should talk about this?”

“Not really no.” Sookie had that tight look she got whenever she was in an uncomfortable situation. Apparently, she was having second thoughts about that kiss. That was unfortunate. As much as Sam could annoy the piss out of you, he was so much better for her than Bill would ever be.

“Sook.” It may have been only one word, but Sam’s tone spoke volumes.

“Sam, I asked Y/N to help me out by stayin’ with me. I won’t be any ruder to her than I already have been.” She walked over to the door and opened it. “Now, I thank you for all of your help, but it’s time for you to go.”

Sam’s gaze darted between the two of you before settling on your friend. “All right, Sookie. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He leaned forward to kiss her as he passed. She turned her head at the last moment so he kissed her cheek. His sigh was audible as she shut the door behind him.

She locked the door before facing you. You gave into the smile you’d been fighting and her shoulders slumped as she groaned and wiped a hand down her face. “What am I going to do?” she moaned as she walked past you. She dropped onto the couch and you sat beside her.

She leaned her head on your shoulder. “I sure am glad you’re here, Y/N.”

You hummed in agreement. “While I expect the full story about what I just walked in on, we need to talk about last night first. What happened?”

Sookie took a deep breath and sat up straight. “There was a party at Merlotte’s for Arlene and Rene. I was feeling sorry for myself on account of Bill taking off the way he did so I was helping Sam out to keep my mind off things. I went inside for some more ice when I got this vision of a girl being killed.”

She shivered and you frowned. You couldn’t imagine being able to see the things she did. It had to be horrible.

“He was so angry. That was worse than what I saw. The overwhelming anger. I finally came to my senses enough to realize that the killer had to be there. I dropped to the floor and just missed a knife that slammed into the bar. I screamed and just focused on putting as much room between him and me as possible. The next thing I knew I crashed into Sam as I tried to see what was going on behind me.”

“I assume you called the police? Or what passes for them around here anyway?”

She nodded. “Of course, but there wasn’t much they could do. He was right there and I didn’t get a look at him. I’m so stupid.”

You grabbed her hand to make certain you had her attention. “Surviving is never stupid, Sookie. What good would it have done for you to see who it was if you died in the process?”

“I guess you’re right.” She turned on the sofa so she faced you and bounced in her seat a little. “Sam and I might have figured out who it is anyway.”

Your brows shot up. “Way to bury the lead, Sook. Tell me what you know.”

“When I had that vision last night, the girl that was killed was wearing a name tag from this pie place not too far from here. Her name was Cindy. Sam and I went up there to ask some questions today.”

“You did what now?” You loved your friend but sometimes you wished she thought things through a little more. “And what if the killer finds out you were asking questions? You’re going to make yourself a target.”

She shook her head. “You’re assuming I’m not already. But listen, so this girl named Cindy was killed and her brother disappears while they’re investigating. The police haven’t been able to find him. We tried to get some information from them, but they wouldn’t tell us anything. They’re supposed to be sending a picture to Bud.”

You had no doubt you could get the information much faster than they could. “What’s this guy’s name?”

“Drew Marshall.”

***

You sent the information to your father asking for him to find out what he could. Realistically you knew it would be the next evening before you heard anything. It was unlikely he’d have a contact at such a small precinct but he’d surprised you before. Sookie and you watched a movie and stayed up late talking. Well, it was late for her. You were always more comfortable in the night. That happened when you were raised by vampires.

After she went to bed, you passed your time by texting Eric who kept threatening to come drag you home. It was past dawn before you found sleep. As such, it took you a minute to process what was going on a few hours later when Sookie burst into your room yelling your name.

“Hold on. Hold on,” you instructed as she fired out words in a rapid burst of confusion. You sat up and raked a hand through your hair. “Okay. Start again. Slower this time.”

“There’s been another murder. Some one night stand of Jason’s. He’s been arrested.”

Shit. “All right, Sookie. Calm down as much as you can and go get dressed. We’ll go down to the station and see what’s going on.”

She nodded and hurried from the room. Jason Stackhouse was a lot of things but you weren’t certain he was capable of murder, despite your history with him. There was only one way to find out. With a sigh, you tossed aside the covers and climbed out of the bed.

***

You’d barely put the truck in park before Sookie had her door open and jumped out. You shook your head but didn’t try to stop her as you followed at a more sedate pace. By the time you joined her at the desk, she was already giving Andy Bellefluer a piece of her mind.

“If you’d give me a minute—”

“I’m not giving you anything, Andy Bellefluer. How stupid do you have to be to think my brother killed gram never mind all those other people? How could you believe such a thing?”

“I was trying to—”

Sookie cut him off again. “Did you not get the picture they were supposed to be sending you of the actual killer? Of course, Sam and I had to find that for you.”

Andy turned to you with an exasperated expression. “Help me out here, would you?”

You held up your hands. “Don’t look at me. I’m strictly here to watch her back. You’re on your own.”

He sighed and rolled his eyes as he put his attention back on Sookie. “Your brother—”

“Didn’t do this. That much I know and if you think—”

“He confessed!” Andy yelled over the top of her.

She visibly deflated. “What?”

“Jason Stackhouse walked into the station and turned himself in. He told us that there was a dead woman in his bed and we needed to lock him up before he hurt anyone else. I’m sorry, Sookie but that’s what happened.” The sympathy in his gaze had you rethinking your earlier assessment of the detective. Maybe he wasn’t so bad.

Sookie licked her lips and gave a nod. “Could I see him? Just for a minute?”

He hesitated for a moment. “Yeah. I suppose that would be all right. Come on.”

You had intended to stay in the lobby but Sookie grabbed your hand and pulled you along with her.

Jason no sooner laid eyes on his sister than he started protesting. “What’s she doing here?”

Andy opened his mouth to answer only to be cut off by Jason asking Sookie the same question. The detective rolled his eyes at once again being cut off by a Stackhouse and you couldn’t help a little grin. Poor Andy.

“Why are you doing this, Jason? We both know you didn’t kill anyone.” She dropped your hand to wrap her hands around the bars that separated her from the last of her family.

“You don’t know that, Sook. Hell, I don’t even know that. Maybe I did kill all those girls and I just don’t remember. But I do know I can’t hurt anyone else if I’m in here.”

“Don’t do this,” she practically begged.

Jason looked from her to the detective. “Get her out of here, Andy. I don’t wanna see her.” He stepped away from the bars and turned his back on his sister.

“Come on, Sookie,” Andy said as he patted her shoulder.

She hesitated only a moment before following him to the door. They glanced back to see if you were following, but you hadn’t moved. “I’ll be along in just a moment. Jason and I have some unfinished business.”

The detective glanced between you and Jason before nodding once and leading Sookie to the lobby.

“I ain’t got nothing to say to you, Y/N,” Jason said, his back still turned. His shoulders were tight with tension.

“Don’t care if you do. I have something to say to you.” You gave him a minute but when he didn’t respond you continued anyway. “Maybe I killed people and don’t remember doesn’t sound like much of a confession, Stackhouse.”

“You don’t know anything about it.”

“I know I’m rarely wrong when it comes to people and you aren’t a killer, Jason. You’re dumb as shit but you aren’t a killer.”

He snapped around, scowling at you for the insult. “I’m not stupid.”

You shrugged as if it didn’t matter to you and it didn’t. You weren’t going to argue the point with him. “I do want to know how someone gets killed in your bed without you knowing about it until it’s too late.”

His chin jutted forward as he clenched his teeth.

“My guess is you were wasted or high and slept through the whole thing.”

Fear flashed across his face before he schooled his features, but he remained silent.

You hummed as the corner of your lips curled into a small smile. “Got it in one. What’s your poison? Weed? Meth? V?”

His eyes widened and he stepped back as you said the last. You arched a brow. He was even dumber than you thought.

“You can’t tell him. Please Y/N, I’ll do whatever you want, just don’t tell him,” he begged.

“Tell who? Andy?”

“No, that scary ass motherfucker at Fangtasia. He said he’d cut my balls off with a rusty spoon if I ever used V again. I like my balls where they are, Y/N.”

“Eric doesn’t want to touch your balls, Jason. Trust me. You’ll be fine.”

[a-sirens-melody]

Darkwing Duck’s Greatest Enemy: Type 1 Diabetes (And Definitely Not Self Loathing)

Quick author's note: Launchpad switches between he/they throughout the fic, just so no one gets confused! If you have any questions abt diabetes, feel free to ask me. With that said, enjoy!

***

So far, tonight has gone really well.

It's date night, and this time they're spending it eating takeout from Hamburger Hippo and watching Darkwing Duck at Launchpad's place. Wrappers lay on the floor, ignored in favor of watching Darkwing kick Megavolt’s ass on screen.

Drake is currently leaning into Launchpad's side on the couch, his partner’s arm wrapped around his waist. It all feels so cozy and domestic that he never wants it to end.

And then, because Drake must have seriously pissed off some powerful being in a past life, it happens.

Megavolt’s face becomes blurry, and it's a little harder to focus on the TV. A quick look around the room tells him that, actually, it's hard to focus on anything right now. He knows what this means; he's gotten better at picking up on the signs after twenty-eight years of living with a half-functioning pancreas.

His blood sugar’s starting to drop.

He tries to close his eyes and listen instead, but the shake of his hands quickly corrects him. He is dropping and he needs to find something to eat. Even though he just ate, like, an hour ago.

Dammit.

“Drake?”

He opens his eyes and notices that the episode is paused. He hadn't even realized, he was so caught up in his symptoms. The second thing he notices is Launchpad looking right at him.

He guesses that they felt his shaking because there's concern in their eyes now. A brief wave of guilt sweeps over him and he almost misses their question. “Is your blood sugar low?”

He finds it's a little hard to form words right now (and that scares him, it always does), so he nods his head slightly and hums.

“I'm gonna go get you a juice box.”

The arm wrapped around him vanishes as LP gets up. He helps him lay down on the couch, head pillowed on the armrest. He's still cold without his boyfriend, though, so Drake can't help the small whine that escapes him. God, he sounds pathetic.

Launchpad's eyes soften and they lean down to kiss his forehead. “I'll be right back, okay?”

A little embarrassed, Drake nods and watches the other duck head to his fridge. He closes his eyes again and almost sighs in relief as he's met with darkness. You can't lose your focus if there's nothing to focus on in the first place.

Did that even make sense? Whatever. His brain’s not working properly right now.

The sounds of his partner rummaging through the shelves fill the air. Drake is reminded of earlier when things felt so domestic between them. It's only been a couple of months since they started dating, but Launchpad already feels like the home he never had.

Drake doesn't know how he got so lucky; sometimes it all feels like a dream.

Launchpad leaving is his worst nightmare. He knows he's being a little dramatic, but his anxiety gets the better of him sometimes. He's too much, too expensive, too-

“Found it!” Footsteps pull Drake out of his thoughts and he cracks his eyes open. Launchpad already tore off the wrapping on the plastic straw and stuck it in the box. He holds it out now and places it near Drake's beak. “Drink this, okay?”

He moves the straw into his mouth with a hum and starts sucking the juice down, only stunned for a second at the chill. Fruit punch, his mind distantly informs him. It's his favorite flavor, but he's too focused on getting it into his system to really appreciate it right now.

When the juice box is thoroughly drained, he gives his boyfriend a small smile. He feels like he can talk without sounding like he's drunk now, so he says, “thanks, LP.”

“Anytime,” is the warm reply he receives. If Drake was of sound mind, he would kiss Launchpad breathless and maybe, maybe, utter those three little words that have grown harder to ignore as of late.

I love you.

The words are barely on the tip of his tongue even now. Yikes, his filter's pretty weak already. He tries to stuff the words down by chewing on the straw. Struggling with one of the disadvantages of diabetes is not his ideal confession scenario. Besides, it's way too soon to say that. Right? Right.

“Didn't think you kept juice boxes in your fridge,” he says instead. Not only is he trying to distract himself from his low brain feelings, he's genuinely curious. He doesn't recall seeing any juice boxes in LP’s fridge the last time he was here, and their favorite flavor is apple.

“Nah. Not for myself, at least.” They smile fondly at him. “I remembered that it's your favorite flavor, though, and I wanted to have something for whenever you went low over here.”

Wait.

Launchpad bought those for him? Specifically for him? And remembered his favorite flavor from a conversation they had three months ago when they asked Drake what he usually ate when his blood sugar went low?

That's...

“That's really sweet of you, LP. Thanks.” He says, because he's not really sure what to say. It's such a small act of kindness, something he's not used to, and he doesn't know how to deal with the sudden warmth in his chest.

He's too low for this. Feeling more intense emotions is a very frequent symptom of his when he's low, that's what this is. Yeah. Definitely.

His boyfriend's smile turns shy. “You don't have to thank me. Whatever helps you the most. Speaking of which, do you want me to bring your kit over here? I mean, obviously you feel low, but. Better to have an exact number, right?” Launchpad rambles, hand reaching to brush through the hair at the back of his neck.

That's a good point, actually. He has to be in the 40’s if he's feeling this bad. “Yes, please.”

Launchpad reaches to the side of his couch where Drake's bag is. Inside is his blood sugar kit (complete with a pricker, replaceable barrels, meter, test strips, insulin, and syringes), various small snacks in case he goes low when he's out, and a glucagon. He really hopes that last item is not going to be needed tonight.

He probably shouldn't have dropped the bag there, but he wanted to start their date. Can you really blame him?

The kit is found and placed onto the couch. Drake starts to reach for it, but suddenly there's a hand covering his.

“Can I check you, please?” He looks up and finds Launchpad staring at him. “I don't- if you don't want me to touch your stuff, I get it, but. You feel bad. So will you let me do it?”

You...want to help me? You don't want me to do this on my own?

“Sure. Just ask if you dunno what goes where, okay?” Drake says, thankful that his voice is somewhat steadier than his hands.

His partner nods and gets to work. They asked once how everything in the kit worked so Drake laid it all out and taught him. It felt nice having someone who wanted to listen to him talk about diabetes stuff.

He hears the test strip bottle close with a pop and the pricker calibrate with a ca-click. Just as Launchpad asks, he holds out a finger and lets his mind drift.

It's really not something he's used to, having someone around that he trusts will take care of him. For as long as he can remember, Drake could only rely on himself to get through whatever diabetic crisis he faced.

He was eight when he was diagnosed. At first, his parents did most of the hard work. He picked up on checking his blood sugar pretty quickly, but they would manage all his carb ratios and injections.

Then, they just sort of…stopped. Like they had only done it for him in the first place because he was too young to fully understand. By the time he was thirteen, he did pretty much everything on his own. So much so that more often than not on the tri-monthly visits to his endocrinologist, the car ride would be spent drilling his parents on what the past three months had been like.

Not that they ever told him they didn't care or want to care to his face. No, Drake had just picked up on it. But the night he overheard them talking about medical expenses was a particularly rude awakening.

He couldn't sleep for some reason and decided to watch some Darkwing Duck. He barely made it out of his bedroom when he heard voices.

“Why's everything gotta be so damn expensive!?”

Ah. His dad was looking at bills. So much for a DW marathon in peace and quiet. Drake had one foot back in his bedroom when he heard his mother reply.

“It doesn't really help that our current bank account looks like that, either…”

Forget going back to bed, his curiosity was peaked. He stayed still, straining to hear.

He wished he hadn't at what he heard next.

“Yeah, well, having a defective kid ain't cheap. Why couldn't you have had a normal one?”

To this day, he still remembers how his heart sank to his stomach.

Defective.

Defective.

Is that why they stopped helping? Why, at age sixteen, it was unspoken knowledge that Drake managed everything on his own? They didn't see a literal child in need, they saw a column of dollar signs. A black hole that sucked up all their cash and never gave it back.

His mom stayed quiet, and that hurt even more. She didn't care, either. Neither one of them did.

They were both selfish assholes that only cared about the alcohol they could've had stocked in their kitchen.

He cried himself to sleep that night, mourning the days when he could still trust his parents to take care of him and wishing he didn't have to live like this. If no one wanted to help him, he’d suck it up on his own. No one wanted to take care of him? Fine. Drake Mallard didn't need anyone else. He was better off on his own.

Those horrible feelings crash over him like a tidal wave now, twenty years later, and he doesn't know why they're here but he's overwhelmed by it all.

Why can't he just have a normal body? Why does his condition have to be so expensive and annoying and miserable sometimes? Why does he have to be so dependent on people when he tells himself that he’s better off working alone, when no one in his life has loved him enough to care anyway?

There's a price tag on his head (not just physical, because diabetes is a greedy little bitch), and it's only a matter of time until Launchpad figures this out. He won't want to stay up late to keep checking, to keep buying syringes or insulin or tests strips. He won't stay forever, and it's all Drake's fault, for getting so attached and having a broken, shitty body.

“Drake? Did I do something wrong?”

He blinks. There are tears in his eyes, a few of which have spilled down his cheeks.

“Uh,” his voice cracks. He wipes away the tears with his other hand. “No. N-no, you didn't do anything wrong. What were you doing?”

Launchpad cocks his head to the side and squints in concern. He knows there's more to Drake's answer, but he doesn't push yet. “I pricked your finger and put the blood in. You didn't even flinch, but I thought that was ‘cause you're used to this. Was there another reason?”

“I'm sorry.” And before Launchpad can start to ask for what? with his mouth already open, Drake rushes to say, “I'm sorry that out of all the people you could date, you got stuck with a chronically ill mess like me. You deserve a normal partner, and god you have no idea how badly I wish I was, but I'm not. I'll always be a burden and I know you won't want to stick around to deal with all the shit that comes with diabetes.

“Not that I don't want you to stay, please don't think that, but…” More tears fall and he brushes them aside, accidentally smearing blood on his feathers. “I’m not used to someone wanting to take care of me, and I don't want it to stop.”

He doesn't take his eyes off of Launchpad as he cries. If this were a cartoon, he would laugh at how quickly their expression changes. Confusion, concern, and realization flash across their face before their eyes soften again in concern.

“Baby,” they say, reaching out to cradle Drake's face. They gently wipe away the blood with their thumb, and Drake feels weak. Loving touches were something he was never given as a child, and it's taken some getting used to. It burns, unfamiliar and wonderful, every time Launchpad touches him. All he can do in this moment is lean into it and shut his eyes.

“Look at me, please?” He groans internally as he opens his eyes. Later, when his blood sugar isn't so low and he can properly think, he’ll recall the look on his boyfriend's face as determined. “I love you, so much. You're not a burden, and you never will be. Being with you is a new experience, sure, but it's a good one. It's not your fault your body's like this, and it doesn't make you any less amazing.

“Heck, if anything, it makes you even more so. You have to do more to stay healthy than most people, and you're really good at it! St. Canard is a better place with Darkwing Duck and Drake Mallard.” Launchpad leans in to kiss his forehead. “They were wrong, you're not unlovable.”

He's so gentle, so sweet, and it's all too much for Drake to wrap his mind around. Never mind the low, he's just heard what he's secretly always wanted to. He is good. He is loved. He...needs to know what his blood sugar actually was before he cries an entire ocean. One more thing, though.

“Uh,” seems like a good place to start as he scrambles to pick up the pieces of himself. He takes a shaky breath. “Thank you. Sorry I dumped all of that onto you, I don't know where it came from tonight, but. Thanks. I really needed that.”

LP still looks a little sad and it makes his heart hurt, but he bites down on his beak to avoid apologizing again. “No problem. Sometimes it just comes out of nowhere.” He strokes his cheek some more, and Drake sighs.

“This is nice and all, but,” his eyes dart to the meter still sitting in front of him. They got distracted for too long and now the little screen is dark. “Did you catch the number that showed up?”

“Buh?” Launchpad's eyes widen as he remembers what they were doing before. “Oh, dang it! Sorry! Do I need to do it again, or-”

Eh, they probably should, but Drake doesn't want to. It hasn't been too long anyways, maybe five minutes? He’ll be fine. “No, you're good, just press the button with the arrows. All the pricks get stored so you can look at them later.”

Any distress on their face is quickly replaced by a beaming smile. “Neat!” They do as Drake asked, and a number pops up: 46.

“Lovely,” Drake groans. “And I just ate. Maybe I just took too much insulin. Or am I getting sick? If I can't keep anything down in the next hour, I swear-”

LP snapping his fingers in his face pulls him away from his rambling. “Hello? Earth to Drake Mallard. I dunno what made you low, but we gotta fix it first. Would more juice work?”

Oh yeah. Hm, more juice or something else? Even though he feels exhausted, going to sleep is a bad idea. He's gotta stay up until he's back in range, so…

“Actually, do you have any Pep?” Launchpad tilts his head and furrows his brow as Drake explains. “Normally I wouldn't ask, but I think something with that much sugar would really help. Plus, the caffeine will keep me awake.”

They look less confused now, but their head remains tilted slightly. “There's not that much caffeine in Pep, though.”

“You forget I don't drink the regular Peps nearly as often as you do, LP.” The last time he actually had one was...ten years ago? They work great for treating a low quickly and that's the only time he ever cares to drink them. It's not worth the extra insulin or highs to try to look normal.

“Oh yeah! So you're not used to the sugar.” He nods. “Okay, be right back.” Launchpad takes about twenty seconds to get a Pep and come back to Drake. The tab's already open. “Uh, do you need to drink the whole thing right now?”

He really shouldn't, the juice is probably still processing. Still, it's very tempting to chug the entire thing just to put more sugar in his body. But he wants his blood sugar to be normal, not sky high. “No, I'll probably drink half of it right now. Thank you.” He takes the Pep and sips, blinking at the sheer amount of sugar flooding his taste buds.

The fact that most people drink enough of this stuff to where they hardly notice it boggles his mind. Not that the diet stuff is really healthier, but it's definitely a different taste.

Guess he's pulling a graveyard shift tonight. But at least he's with Launchpad.

(That's the other thing about drinking regular sodas; he gets really hyper. Last time, he couldn't fall asleep until exactly two am. Being tired but unable to sleep is the absolute worst feeling, and you can't change Drake's mind.)

Now that he can think a little more clearly, he realizes something.

“I can't drive like this,” he says. Driving with a low blood sugar is really dangerous, and not his usual kind. It's the kind of dangerous that could get himself, or someone else, or even both, killed. “And I'm definitely not walking home anytime soon, so. Guess our date’s been extended?”

Launchpad blinks at him, then claps his hands together and grins. “You're staying overnight! I mean, I wish it was under better circumstances, obviously, but. Yay!” He rocks on his heels before catching himself and looking away, a faint blush appearing on his face. “Anyways, is there anything else you need?”

Drake's about to reply not right now, thank you, but then he realizes something that's actually pretty important.

“Wait, since I'm staying here tonight, could I use your bathroom really quick? I, uh, need to take my binder off,” he admits. He’d forgotten it was even there until he remembered wait, you need to take that off before you go to sleep. He put it on about a half hour after he woke up, which was at noon, and it's midnight now so...oops. It's past time to take it off.

His boyfriend nods. “Yeah, no worries! Do what you gotta do. Wait.” His brow furrows. “You need me to help you over there?”

“I,” he falters. “Wouldn't mind it if you did.” The sugar's kicking in now, but he still doesn't trust himself. Given how clumsy he is? Better safe than sorry.

Launchpad holds his arms as he walks to the bathroom. He closes the door, Launchpad sitting in front of it just in case, and turns to the mirror. His shirt hits the floor, soon followed by his binder. A sigh of relief fills the air as he folds it. He hadn't realized how long he'd been wearing it. Tomorrow will have to be a skip day just to stay on the safe side.

(Hormones aren't a concern; he's not on them right now and is perfectly fine with that. The cost of that and insulin would be hard to juggle, anyways.)

He opens the door to find Launchpad staring at him, and he smiles shyly. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Launchpad smiles back, and holds out his hand. Drake takes it and pulls his boyfriend to his feet. They walk back to the couch together. “So, what are we doing? You can't go to sleep until your blood sugar's back up and we were in the middle of an episode of Darkwing Duck.”

“I like the way you think,” Drake teases. “So long as you check every now and then to make sure I haven't fallen asleep yet.” He sits down in his original spot.

“Whatever you need,” they reply, and sit down next to him. They wrap their around his waist and Drake leans into their side as he tries to find the remote. It occurs to him just then that there's still something he hasn't said yet. Something bigger than “thank you.”

He taps LP on the shoulder. They turn to look at him and oh no, he's already flustered. “I just. You said you, uh, loved me earlier and I wanted to say that, that I love you too.” His face is burning, and he got quieter at the end, but at least it’s out in the open now.

Launchpad’s eyes soften and he tilts his head close enough to kiss Drake. It's a quick peck, but sweet nonetheless. When he pulls away, he's smiling. “You're wonderful, you know that?”

Drake only blushes more and buries his face in Launchpad's chest. He can feel Launchpad chuckle and oh. Oh, that's really nice. He likes that a lot. He would stay right here, but the sounds of the Darkwing Duck episode are a siren song that never fails to lure him in.

They stay there, watching episode after episode and Launchpad checking in every so often. By the time Drake's blood sugar has gone back to normal, he stops watching and starts really thinking about the events of the night.

He doesn't have to do this on his own anymore. Someone actually wants to take care of him now.

He is loved. Really, truly loved. And he’ll never let Launchpad go.

[madsthewordclown]

Pancakes | Sokka x Reader Modern AU

warnings: minor language

summary: you’re tired coming home from a trip over break and also freaking out about your feelings for a certain friend of yours. ft. best friend sleepover.

This fic was somewhat inspired by Pancakes for Dinner by Lizzy McAlpine and the rest of my pining playlist. Hope you guys like it! Also I’m sorry the title is not very relevant but I was tired after spending three days trying to pull this together :/ whoops

“Don’t worry, I’m almost home.” You talked just a bit too loudly to make sure your phone picked up the noise.

“Are you on the phone while driving, Y/N?” Sokka asked. He could probably hear the sound of your car on the highway—there were too many bumps on this road.

“It’s on speaker,” you clarified, being careful to keep your eyes on the road. You had been hoping to get home before dark, but the sun setting to your left was not a great indicator. You glanced down at your dashboard clock—only 5:30. You cursed daylight savings time. “I think I might have an hour left?”

“Know your way from there?” Sokka’s voiced cracked in your phone speaker. He sounded like he was chewing something.

“Yeah, I think so. I was just checking in to let you know.” You had been calling and checking in with either Sokka, Zuko or Katara every hour of your drive. Driving for so long made you especially nervous, and you never said anything so not to worry them, but you wanted one of your friends to have a general idea of where you were if anything were to happen. You knew that you were just being paranoid, but the dimming evening light only served to heighten your nerves.

“Drive safe,” Sokka told you. “Call me if you need anything, okay?”

“I will,” you replied, gulping. You thought of the millions of things you wanted to say to him, but kept your mouth shut. You glanced down to see your phone screen go dark, indicating that Sokka had hung up.

You didn’t tell him how you wished he would stay on the phone to keep you company. You didn’t ask him to see about getting you food for when you finally got home. You most definitely didn’t tell him about the very unhelpful thought that was streaming through your head; I like you, I like you, I like you.

You didn’t know when things had changed between you and Sokka. Your feelings for him had grown into something more than purely platonic, that you couldn’t deny. But you were pretty good at keeping those feelings hidden—in most cases your infatuations would come and go quickly, and you didn’t like to embarrass yourself by acting on an impulse. Even so, you felt like Sokka had been distant lately.

You supposed he had offered to let you stay at his and Zuko’s apartment while you were temporarily kicked out of your dorm for what your college said was a “routine maintenance procedure,” but that might have been more Zuko’s doing. Besides, they had offered the same service to Toph. Toph said that “routine maintenance” was probably code for “getting rid of roaches”.

At least the temporary displacement was over fall break, when lots of students went home. The university did offer other temporary accommodations, but Katara had insisted that the stay at Sokka and Zuko’s would be “the ultimate best-friend sleepover,” and that they’d all spend the night when you got back. As much as you loved your friends, you were happy that you had spent the first half of your break with your parents. You felt like you needed to give Sokka some space, and maybe take some time to let your feelings pass. Unfortunately, they hadn’t, but maybe Sokka would stop acting so distant.

You kept your speed at 5 under the limit as you drove. You felt ridiculous, but somehow your brain could never stop imagining worst-case scenarios; a deer jumping out in front of you, a police chase coming to a violent end over the top of the next hill. It was like a mini-existential crisis every time you were behind the wheel for too long.

You breathed a sigh of relief as you reached the city, the streets once again becoming familiar, illuminated by the streetlamps. The tight feeling in your chest loosened its grip, and you let your hands relax against the wheel.

You hardly believed your luck when you saw the empty space in front of Sokka and Zuko’s building. You quickly parked. Spaces were usually impossible to find. You unbuckled your seatbelt and leaned back with a sigh, relieved to finally be done driving. You had made it, the full 8 hours finally over.

You got out of the car and stretched your legs. Cars weren’t built for tall people, you lamented to yourself as you grabbed your bags out of your backseat, feeling the stiffness in your back as you leaned to grab your things.

Going up the stairs to the third floor was awful, and by the end of it, you wanted nothing more than to lie down. You knocked on the door—they had temporarily offered your spare key to Toph while you were gone—and leaned on the frame while you waited for someone to answer.

“Y/N!” Sokka cried as he opened the door for you. The instant you saw his smile you felt butterflies in your stomach, and the overwhelming urge to just say it—I like you, I like you, I like you—repeated like a mantra in your head.

“Hey, Sokka!” You leaned in to give him a half-hug; it was the best you could do with all of your bags.

“You should’ve called,” Sokka eyed your bags with a frown, “I would’ve helped you bring your stuff in.”

“It’s okay,” you brushed him off, pushing through the door.

“Y/N!” Katara cheered. You could see her sitting on the floor with Aang, leaning back up against the sofa where Zuko and Toph were sprawled out as much as possible. Somehow, Toph managed to take up more space regardless of the height difference. Zuko, Aang, and Toph echoed Katara’s cheer, although Toph did so half-mockingly.

You dropped your bags off by the kitchen table—you’d sort those out later. You just wanted to rest, and you knew you’d have to answer questions about your trip. Suddenly, a smell hit you. “Is something burning?”

“Shit!” Sokka exclaimed suddenly, rushing over to the stove.

“What’s that?” You asked, going to look over his shoulder. It was a bit difficult, as he and Zuko somehow managed to be taller than you. It drove you crazy, as you had been used to being the resident tall-person before you’d met. They loved holding it over your head, both literally and figuratively. (But you most definitely did not have a Napoleon complex. No way.)

“Pancakes,” Sokka answered, carefully flipping two off of the pan. “I figured you’d be hungry.”

“And we wanted pancakes!” Toph yelled from her spot on the couch.

“Make your own damn pancakes!” Sokka yelled back, “I’m giving up.” He turned to where you were standing behind him.

“Here, I’ll take the ones that I burnt, and you can have these other ones.” He held out a plate to you. “I hope four is enough.”

“You really didn’t have to make me food.” But you were so, so happy he did. You hadn’t realized how hungry you were, but now your stomach was being very demanding. You took the plate from him. “Thanks, Sokka.” I like you, I like you, I like you.

“Well, we know Sokka has a favorite,” Toph deadpanned.

“You never make me pancakes, Sokka,” Zuko pouted, sticking out his tongue.

“Shut up,” Sokka replied simply, following you over to claim a spot on the floor next to Katara and Aang, a bottle of syrup in hand.

You and Sokka ate pancakes while your friends asked you about your trip, with a random Mythbusters episode acting as background noise. Yes, your parents were doing great, yes, your hometown was as interesting as ever. The pancakes were delicious, and you felt even more grateful for Sokka’s gesture.

Despite the joy you felt to be reunited with your friends, you couldn’t deny that you were tired. You felt yourself wanting to doze off as you leaned on the couch. You yawned, stretching your arms up. Sokka noticed immediately.

“Hey, you can take my room if you want,” he offered, accurately sensing your exhaustion. You tried in vain to keep your cheeks from reddening—you didn’t think Sokka had noticed, but you were sure Katara did by the look she gave you.

“No, it’s okay,” you reassured him, “all of my bags are in here anyway, and they’re a mess.”

“Here, I’ll move them and get things cleaned up. You need to sleep,” Sokka insisted, proving his insistence by immediately getting up to gather your things. The second he disappeared into his room, Katara turned to you.

“Y/N, I give you my permission to date my brother.”

“Katara!” You blushed. “It’s not like that.”

“Y/N, you’re my best friend and Sokka’s my roommate,” Zuko said, “and I of all people would know that you two have been dancing in circles around each other for months.”

“It’s disgusting,” Toph added, unhelpfully.

“Sokka doesn’t like me like that. He’s been acting weird and avoiding me for weeks,” you reasoned, not bothering to deny your own feelings. It’s not like it mattered.

“He’s not avoiding you today,” Aang mentioned as he leaned on Katara’s shoulder. You supposed you couldn’t deny it, but before you had the chance to respond, Sokka was back.

“I’m sorry if things are still a bit messy, but you can head in and go to bed if you’re tired. I can take the couch.”

“Hey, Snoozles, Zuko and I called dibs,” Toph snapped. “Take the floor.”

“Zuko has a bed here, you know.” Sokka put a hand on his hip.

“Yeah,” Zuko looked up at him from his position on the couch, “but now I’m here, and I’m not moving.” Toph nodded in agreement.

“Then I’ll take Zuko’s room,” Sokka amended.

“Okay, then,” Zuko conceded.

“What?!?” Katara cried indignantly, sitting up straight like a bolt. “You told me I couldn’t!”

“Yeah, because he doesn’t want you and Twinkle-Toes canoodling,” Toph cackled. Katara scoffed.

“We do not canoodle!”

Sokka turned to you as you yawned again. “Get some sleep,” he said. As much as you wanted to refuse, you couldn’t resist the opportunity to finally get some rest. You slowly stood up and walked yourself towards Sokka’s room, and he took your spot on the floor. “Goodnight.”

You took a deep breath when you entered Sokka’s room and switched on the light. You had been in his room once before, when you offered him a ride to a lecture, and he wasn’t awake on time—you had come in and smacked him with one of your notebooks. It was small—Sokka felt bad that Zuko paid most of their rent with his rich-person money and had actually convinced him to go for a cheaper apartment when they had decided to move in together.

You got the vague sense that you needed to shower, but you were too tired to worry about it, and you didn’t want to fish your toiletries out of your stuffed overnight bag. You checked your phone once, and saw you had a text from Katara.

Sokka was paying more attention to you than Mythbusters, Y/N. The MYTHBUSTERS!!!

You rolled your eyes and shot back a quick, “whatever.” And for once, your overwhelming exhaustion drowned out the fluttering feeling in your gut as you climbed into Sokka’s bed. You were asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow.

You could tell when you woke up that it was way too early. You could also tell that you weren’t in your own bed, and then you remembered. Right. Sokka gave you his room. You sat up, pushing the comforter off of you. You had a shaky feeling in your chest, and you knew you’d woken up from a bad dream, but you couldn’t quite remember what it was. You felt like you did when you were driving the night before—jittery, a million thoughts going through your mind all at once.

You decided it might be a good course of action to get a glass of water to help you calm down and relieve the dryness in your throat that further prevented you from going back to sleep. You quietly tip-toed out of Sokka’s bedroom. You noticed multiple papers with sketches and diagrams from his engineering classes scattered about the room, and it gave you a little bit of comfort.

You tried to be as quiet as possible so as not to disturb the others, who were all fast asleep in the living room. You quickly got your glass of water and downed it, not wanting to bring it into Sokka’s room and risk spilling on any of his stuff. You made your way back to his room and crawled back under the covers. No sooner had you pulled the blanket up over yourself did you hear the door open once again.

“Oh.” Sokka’s frame stood in the doorway. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. I was just coming in to get something.”

“It’s okay, I wasn’t asleep,” you said, sitting up.

“Oh.” A beat. “Are you okay?”

The tone of his voice made you pause. It was how he’d been talking to you for weeks, save for last night.

“Yeah.” You put a hand to your head, trying to clear your thinking. “I think I’m just a bit stressed after all of the driving and stuff. I hate it.” You gave a dry laugh, and you could see Sokka approach you in the dark.

“I thought you said the drive went fine,” Sokka pressed, now standing next to you.

“It did!” You assured him. “I just don’t like driving, especially at night. It makes me nervous. Why did you think I was calling so much?”

“Oh,” Sokka said dumbly. He was close enough now that you could make out his features. He frowned at you. “Can I sit?” He asked after a long pause. You nodded and awkwardly scooched over to make space for him.

“You know, if you wanted someone to drive with you, I could’ve gone.”

“Sokka,” you laughed, “it’s 8 hours. What could you possibly do to stay entertained up there for three days?”

Sokka shrugged and smiled at you. “I have friends over that direction.”

“Of course you do,” you rolled your eyes. Sokka somehow knew everybody and was friends with almost everyone he knew.

“Plus,” Sokka bumped his shoulder against yours, “I think your parents would love me.” You elbowed him in response, trying to quell the fluttering of your heart and the words that threatened to bubble up from your throat.

“Seriously,” Sokka told you finally, turning to look at you. Even in the dark, his eyes were startlingly blue. “I could’ve at least stayed on the phone with you for a bit.

“I don’t want to ask that of you. You have more important things to do.”

“No, I really don’t,” Sokka said, looking you in the eye. You gulped in the silence, and suddenly everything felt like too much. You could feel his leg up against yours, and his eyes were so blue, and his hair was hanging out of his ponytail, and he said it like he meant it, and you were surrounded by his drawings and his smell and I like you I like you I like you and—

“I like you.”

For a moment you thought you had spoken your thoughts aloud, but that wasn’t your voice, and Sokka was still looking at you and there was something about his expression, and—oh. You sat there with your mouth hanging open.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N, I shouldn’t have said that, and…” He trailed off when you put your hand on his chest to stop him.

“Are you joking?” You asked plainly, looking up at him. Sokka stared back.

“…no.”

With just that one little word you felt the thoughts you’d been holding back for the past months flood up, as if a dam had been broken, and there were so many things that you wanted to say all at once, but your mouth wasn’t working.

“Me, too,” you replied dumbly, and Sokka cocked his head at you.

“What?”

“I like you, too,” you mumbled, leaning forward to bury your face in his chest. You were sure that he’d be able to see your horrible blushing, even in the dim light. You felt Sokka chuckle a little bit.

“What was that?”

You felt your blush deepen as he gently pushed you away from him. “I like you, too,” you repeated, finally looking him in the eye. Sokka gently laid a hand on your cheek, and your eyes fluttered shut as he leaned in.

Kissing Sokka was somehow softer than you had expected. He wasn’t exactly a subtle person—loud, passionate, outgoing, and too smart for his own good—but his kiss was gentle and loving and ended way too soon.

“Do you wanna go out some time?”

“Um, obviously,” you giggled, leaning in as he wrapped you up in a hug, pulling you close.

“Just thought I’d check,” Sokka hums, hand circling your back gently as you yawn into his shoulder. “Now you need to get some sleep.”

“ZUKO, Y/N AND SOKKA ARE CANOODLING!” You and Sokka jumped, awoken by Katara’s yelling. You blinked your eyes open to see all four of your friends standing in Sokka’s bedroom doorway.

“We were not canoodling!” Sokka shouted indignantly.

“This isn’t my room, Katara. It’s not under my jurisdiction,” Zuko shrugged.

“Why couldn’t Aang and I take your room?” Katara demanded. You wiped the sleep from your eyes and felt yourself blushing.

“My room is a canoodle-free zone, Katara.”

Zuko and Katara bickered for a while, while Toph laughed and Aang stood by awkwardly, although you didn’t miss him shooting Sokka a thumbs-up. When it seemed like they’d forgotten you were there completely, Sokka cleared his throat.  

“Excuse me, guys.” Katara and Zuko stopped bickering to look at him. “If you don’t mind, I want to go make Y/N and I some pancakes.” With that, Sokka stood and took your hand to pull you along with him. You blushed.

“Only if you make us some,” Toph crossed her arms and blocked your way.

“Fine, Toph,” Sokka relented, but smiled as he pulled you closer and wrapped an arm around your waist. “Good morning, by the way. Want some more pancakes?”

[etherrealoblivion]

Chapter Four: Supper

Table Of Contents

Fic summary: Owning a bookstore in downtown D.C. came with its fair share of downsides. You never thought that being the target of a serial killer would be one of them. Luckily, a nice FBI agent by the name of Spencer Reid is assigned to watch over you. What's the worst that could happen?

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Words: 1,748

MASTERLIST

~

A sudden loud beep had you shooting upright in bed. You leapt up and put your ear to the door. Rather than sinister noises, you heard the faint humming of a very familiar theme song.

You cracked open the bedroom door, peeking into the kitchen where Spencer was bustling around with a frying pan and a spatula with a focused expression on his face, humming the theme music to Doctor Who under his breath.

It was actually kind of adorable. You pushed open the bedroom door further to get a better look, but the door creaked and Spencer spun around, withdrawing his gun and pointing it square in your face.

“I’m sorry!” you squealed, throwing your hands up in surrender.

He quickly holstered his gun and ran over to you. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

“Yes. Yes, I’m fine,” you tried to laugh. “A little shaken but I’m okay. Really!” you added after a doubtful look from him.

His eyes were a deep hazel that seemed to peer into your soul. His hands felt good on your shoulders, clutching you tightly in comfort. It had been a while since you’d had, well, any physical contact. He was so tall he had to lean down to level his face with yours.

Suddenly, he seemed to realize how close the two of you were and stepped back, clearing his throat. 

“I was, uh, trying to make dinner.”

“I can see that,” you said playfully, with a glance at the kitchen in disarray.

“Yeah. I’m not the best cook. I can memorize thousands of recipes in minutes but i’ve never seemed to master the execution.”

You hesitated. 

“Thousands of recipes in minutes? What are you a genius?” you laughed.

“Scientifically, yes. An I.Q. score over 160 classifies someone as a genius.”

Your jaw dropped.

“You’re kidding?”

He shook his head, slipping his hands into his pockets and shrugging.

“Nope.”

“Wait so you can read like, a thousand words per minute?”

“Twenty-thousand,” he corrected, stepping back into the kitchen to continue cooking.

“Twenty-thousand!? That’s impossible!”

“Actually, the unconscious brain can process up to eleven million bits of information per second. It’s just a matter of being able to—“

“—to access the information from your subconscious,” you said, cutting him off. “Wow. That’s impressive.”

He looked at you in shock.

“What’s even more impressive is that you finished a sentence for me.”

“Sorry,” you blushed.

“No! No, I mean, not a lot of people can, erm, keep up. When you start college at fourteen, not many people expect you to be smarter than them. Then when they find out how smart you really are, it can be intimidating.”

Your mouth twitched up into a smile. Spencer was impressive, for sure, but he was also entertaining. Not in a make-fun-of kind of way, but he made you laugh. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. 

“Supper’s ready!”

You stifled a laugh.

“Supper?”

“What?” he looked over at you, reaching up to get two plates.

“Who says supper? Are you eighty?” you teased. 

“I’m twenty-six!” he said indignantly.

You froze.

“Wait, really?” He nodded. “You’re only twenty-six and you’re a prominent FBI agent? How?”

“Genius I.Q, three Ph.D.’s, and my irresistible charm,” he said, giving a goofy smile.

“Three PhDs? How? I’m getting a PhD and I can barely keep up with the workload!”

“You‘re getting a Ph.D.? That wasn’t in your police report. What’s it in?” he asked as he filled your plates. 

“Actually, I’m working on two.”

“Two!?”

You nodded, happy that you’d been able to shock him.

“Yep. Linguistics and Philosophy. I like Philosophy better but Linguistics is more challenging. The library won't let you into the section with the really good language books without a certain clearance. But I've actually nearly finished my thesis for it. What?” you added, noticing him staring at you.

“You’re working on two doctorates simultaneously?”

“Surprised you’re not the only genius?” you joked, taking your plate from him, then, upon seeing what he’d made, bursting out into laughter. 

“What?” he looked genuinely confused, which only made you laugh harder.

“Bacon?” you said through gasps. “Bacon and pancakes? You are aware it’s—“ you glanced at the clock, “—nine forty at night?”

“Gimme a break!” he said defensively. “It’s the only thing I can cook. The word ‘cook‘ being a generous descriptor.” 

It was better than Doritos and bourbon for dinner, your go to meal. You were just glad you’d had the stuff to make dinner. It would be very awkward trying to explain your unhealthy eating habits to Spencer.

You didn’t have a dining table. Anyway, you usually ate on the couch and watched something on TV. That was normal nowadays right? Whatever. Spencer didn’t seem to mind which was good enough for you.

“So, um,” he said nervously, pulling out a pad of paper and pencil. “There’s a few things I need to go over with you.”

You nodded, remembering the situation you were in.

“Is there anyone you can think of who might have shown a sort of stalking behavior before? They’d be unreliable, constantly late, not being able to stick to a schedule?”

“The only person I know like that is Claire, one of my co-workers, but she’s not a stalker, she's just always late to work. Honestly, the only people I really know are my co-workers, some people from school, and Steve, my friend.”

“The FBI is going to need a list of people you see frequently. If you could put that together as soon as you’re ready. Also, all your credit card information will have to be analyzed, everywhere it’s been used. Whoever accesses your card, even for something as small as a stick of gum, has the opportunity to use that information to find your name, your address, your workplace—”

“Ok. I get it. People I see frequently and my credit card info. Gotta warn you, there’s not much I buy with it other than books and coffee. Then again, there’s the occasional splurge at the mall.”

“Well, the FBI needs all of it.”

You nodded softly, staring at the bacon on your plate. He hadn’t said I need he’d said The FBI needs. You weren’t sure what that meant exactly.

“Do you want to watch something?” he said, gesturing toward the TV. “It might be a good distraction?”

“Yeah,” you put your plate on the coffee table, noticing that you’d barely eaten. “Yeah that sounds good. Could you just put something on? I don’t wanna choose.”

He nodded and picked up the remote.

The only thing he really knew you liked was Doctor Who so he put on a random episode. You let the TV become background noise to your thoughts as you stared off into space.

Spencer was comforting to be around. He helped take your mind off the situation you were in. You looked over at him on the couch, long legs crossed under him. He had taken off his tie and shoes and changed into more casual clothes: a jumper and some jeans. He was absentmindedly fiddling with the throw blanket between you on the couch. 

His hands are so long, you thought. Wait, why were you thinking that? You shouldn’t be thinking about his hands. Or how long they were. Or what they could—

“Are you alright?”

You felt yourself twitch, startled by his sudden acknowledgment. Even more embarrassing, you were sure he’d seen you staring at his hands.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“Hey,” he moved closer on the couch, “you don’t have to be sorry. It’s alright to not be okay.”

They were just words, they didn’t help. What did help was the care behind them. He wasn’t just saying it to comfort you, he actually meant it. To him, it really was ok to not be okay.

“Thank you Spencer, that actually helps.”

You glanced at the clock. It was 10:26.

“I should do some schoolwork,” you said, cringing afterward. You didn’t want him to think of you as some school kid.

“Okay!” he chirped happily, standing as you stood like a proper gentleman. “I’ll just be out here. Is it okay if I keep watching?” The episode played on, The Doctor dangling from a rope above London. “I really like this episode,” he said sheepishly.

“Sure,” you chuckled. “I’ll be in my room and please let me know if you need anything, seriously.”

He nodded assent, but you weren’t sure if he actually would. He seemed a little withdrawn, comforting you when you needed but keeping his distance when possible. It’s his job to keep you safe, you reminded yourself. Don’t get excited.

An hour later your eyes watered from the strain of keeping them open. But you were almost done with this paper. Sure, it was due next week but you were on a roll. Using an allusion to the Holocaust to support the point that Hollywood writing is riddled with antisemitism. In the morning, it might not sound as clever, but to your sleep-deprived brain, it was poetry.

A light knock on your door startled you.

“Come in,” you croaked.

Spencer peeked into your room, squinting.

“It’s pitch black in here,” he said, reaching for the light.

You shrieked as the light filled the room, blinding you.

“TOO BRIGHT!” you yelled, slamming your computer shut and throwing your arms over your eyes.

“Sorry! Sorry!” he fumbled with the switch and clicked it off. The room was now shrouded in darkness, neither of you able to see yet.

“Are you there, Spencer?”

“Yeah.”

You were both whispering. Why was it that people whispered in the dark? 

“You should try and get some sleep,” Spencer said. He was becoming more visible as your eyes adjusted to the light. He had changed into a blue set of pajamas. The fabric looked so soft.

“Yeah,” you muttered, moving toward the bed, “Yeah, I’ll do that.” 

Your bed felt scratchy and cold. Just last night getting in bed had been such a relaxing experience. So much had changed in a day.

“I’ll be right in the next room if you need anything,” 

“Hmm,” you hummed.

Spencer padded back out of your room.

The moment before the door closed you thought you heard a very faint, “Good night, Y/N.” But before you could wonder if it had happened or not, you were dropping off into a deep sleep. Knowing that you were safe with Spencer in the next room.

~

Taglist: @aperrywilliams @mjloveskids666 @dolanfivsosxox @criesinreid @fanficsrmylife @racerparker @sammypotato67 @lukeskisses @reidcrimes @you-had-me-at-hello-dear @l0ve-0f-my-life @thatsonezesty13

[bittywitches]

I’m obsessed with the college roommates concept— maybe you’re feelings lonely and kinda sad abt ur love life one night and Grayson offers to take you on a date just for fun as friends but then ~feelings~ happen ☺️

Umm do you mean that one episode in season 8 of friends where Joey takes out pregnant Rachel and gets his crush on her??? Bc yes :))

It’s probably just been one of those weeks, you know? An assload of assignments, tests and exams every other day, most of which you’d completely bombed and were feeling shitty about. You hadn’t had more than 5 hours of sleep a day in like a month, you’d been living off of microwavables and instant noodles, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d had a sip of water since all your energy has been from coffee. And the kids in all your group projects this semester? Idiots. Selfish pricks. Every single one of them.

So it was needless to say that you were just in one of those moods. It was a Friday night, so things had slowed down enough, finally, but it also finally gave you some time to let yourself think, and god it was not great when you had to think.

It had started as just one of those basic thoughts; “What am doing? Where is this going?” which lead to “Why am I even in college in the first place?” Ending with “Oh my god I’m wasting my life and I’m gonna be alone forever”.

By the time Grayson had made it home that night, you were huddled up in the living room sofa under a blanket, your laptop open in your lap and snacks all over the table a couch while “Isn’t she lovely” by Stevie Wonder played on your phone as you tried your best not to burst into tears at the thought of never finding a boyfriend.

“Whoa, I don’t remember getting my invite to this slumber party.” He laughed, kicking his shoes off and throwing his bag onto the single sofa next to yours.

You slumped your shoulders. “It’s not a slumber party, it’s a pity party.”

“Oh?” He sat himself down on the sofa. “Who for?”

“Me, who else?” You wallowed, stuffing some more popcorn into your mouth.

“Why, did you get marks back?” He asked, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, a bit concerned at the volume of popcorn you were putting into your mouth with each bite.

“No, but what’s the point? I already know I’m doing bad.” You slumped backwards into the couch, just wishing you could be swallowed by the pillows and cushions.

“Hey,” He placed a hand on your knee, looking at you seriously now. He knew you. Your general melt downs he was used to, but this was different. He could tell something was wrong. “You okay?”

You sighed, grabbing your phone off the counter and pausing the song so you could think straight. “You don’t wanna hear about it.”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

You sighed, slipping your legs out from under you and dangling them off the couch. “Okay, um..” Grayson’s hand had fallen away, and you suddenly felt like rubbing the spot on your leg where it had been. “I don’t know. I guess I’ve just been so busy lately, and it’s just gotten me thinking about my life in general. And how I haven’t gone out on a date in like…” You had to stop and think, and started laughing after a few seconds. “In so long I can’t even remember. Wow, god.” You sunk back into the couch. “I miss dating.”

He quirked an eyebrow at you. “Yea?”

“Yeah, you know,” You waved your hands around vaguely. “The whole excitement of it. Getting to dress up and look all nice. Feeling all pretty.” He tilted his head at you, and you shook your head and laughed. “But you know, not that I need the reminder. I’m obviously hot as fuck.” You gestured to yourself, highlighting your nest of hair and your stained sweatshirt. You waited for him to laugh, but he just continued to look at you with that weirdly deep expression.

“What?”

“How about I take you on a date?”

You blinked at him, then started to chuckle, confused. “Huh?”

“You know, as friends. But I’ll give you like, the whole experience.”

You almost spit at that. “The ‘whole experience’?”

He rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean. We’ll get all dressed up, go out to a nice place for dinner or something.”

You sat up now, your eyes narrowed at him. “Why?”

“Why not? It’s a friday. If you have stuff to do you can always do it later.”

“You know where that mindset gets me, Dolan.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun.” He smiled. “Plus, you deserve a fun night.”

You scoffed. “Yea, but not with a boyfriend or anything. With my roommate.”

“You think you could do better?”

“Incredibly.”

“God just shut up and go change.”

You laughed. “I— You know what? What the heck.” You got up, and he did with you. “Ah, okay!” You gave him a quick squeeze before running to your room, and his eyes followed after you, a gentle smile on his lips.

…

He’d done the whole shebang. He got dressed in a nice dress shirt and clean black jeans, something you’d actually never seen him wear before. He’d somehow gotten you a bouquet of flowers, which, you weren’t even sure where or how he’d gotten them, because you couldn’t have taken more than twenty minutes to get ready. Nonetheless, he truly was the gentleman you had never expected. This was Grayson, the guy you watched old disney movies with and cried with during finals. He was the one you’d eat whole pints of ice cream with and play The Last of Us with and helped you master. He certainly wasn’t the one who was supposed to be complimenting you on your dress and taking you out to nice dinners. But here he was, doing just that.

He’d parked his car and was now escorting you inside this tiny but upscale italian restaurant, simple but elegant. As you entered through the glass door, the dazzling chandelier above the waiting area along with the gorgeous red sconces blew you away.

“Grayson how did you get a place like this on such short notice?” You whispered to him, gripping his arm, a bit intimidated by all the fancy folk waiting inside.

“I know some people.” He responded, a small smile on his lips.

You slapped his arm. “As if, you don’t even know the name of the Starbucks barista on campus.”

He rolled his eyes. “Can’t you let me be cool?” You stared at him waiting for the response, and he sighed. “This place is fairly new. Not that many people know about it yet, so it’s pretty easy to get a reservation.”

“How’d you know about it then?”

“Found it when I was looking for a place to take Sarah to.”

“Oh my god that girl from your Kinesiology class?” You looked at him with wide eyes and a grin on your face. “No way! I didn’t think you’d grow the balls to ask her out.”

“Hey,” He said, but you laughed. “Well, I haven’t exactly asked her yet. I was just checking it out.”

“Well either way, she’s going to love this place, it’s so extravagant.” You made it to the front and Grayson informed the woman standing there of his reservation. She escorted you both inside and brought you to a table next to one of the windows. She’d dropped off two glasses of water and menus for you both to look at in the meantime. You peaked at the one in front of you, and your eyes grew again.

“Gray, did you happen to look at the prices before coming here?”

“Don’t worry, I’m buying.” He flipped through his casually, as if he wasn’t exasperated at the large numbers printed on the cards.

“Are you serious? What are you, made of money?”

“Hey, I promised you a fun night, right? I can make a few sacrifices.”

A young man came up to your table, and you both gave him your order. You ended up choosing the cheapest thing on the menu, because a) you didn’t want to be too much of a burden on Grayson, but also b) you barely knew what any of it was anyways. He left, you both chatted for a bit, and he returned with your meals, both of them being some sort of pasta that you were a bit embarrassed about not knowing the differences between.

Grayson didn’t really know that much either, to be quite honest, but for some reason he felt the need to impress you with this place. And he was pretty giddy about the fact that it was working.

But throughout this, you had kept staring at him, frankly a bit shocked at the whole situation you both were in. You had to shake your head to get your thoughts straight, but ended up giggling. “So, you always this sweet with the girls you take out on dates?”

He bit his cheek, but decided to play along, lowering his fork and leaning in towards you to hear you over the chatter in the restaurant. “Why, you interested?”

“No, just curious what it is that Grayson Dolan pulls to get a girl.” You crossed your arms on the table, on elbow propped up with your chin resting on your hand. “Tell me, you have any moves?”

He laughed. “What, that I just use with every girl?”

“Don’t act so modest. There’s gotta be something. What gets them drooling?” You asked a playful smile on your lips.

He rolled his eyes, taking a bite of his food. “Okay fine, um.” He cleared his throat. “It usually starts out the same, I ask them about themself. Where they’re from, what they do— like, okay. What do you like to do in your spare time?”

You snorted. “Are we doing this? Are we playing this out?”

“Yesss, go with it.”

You laughed. “Okay, uh well. I like to paint sometimes.”

“Yea? What kind of stuff?”

“Well I used to do more traditional stuff, my parents were really into those pretty realism paintings. I’d do flowers and fruits and whatever, but every since, I guess junior year of high school, I’ve been doing more pop art pieces? And a lot more self-indulgent stuff. And I…” You trailed off, realizing you were rambling, but also realizing that Grayson had his soft eyes fixed on yours.

“What?”

His eyes widened a little, as if you’d shook him out of a daze, and he chuckled. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare. It’s just, uh... “ He smiled. “Your eyes are really pretty.”

Your face flushed a little bit, and you looked away from him, taking a sip of water to use it as your excuse. “Ah, thank you.”

He shook his head. “Anyways, so do you still do pop art now? Or has it changed since you’ve started college?”

You blinked at him, then covered your mouth as you opened it in slight shock. “Wow, that was really good.”

He laughed. “Yea?”

“The eye thing was good on it’s own but to know you were actually listening to me? I’m impressed.” You nodded in approval.

He tilted his head, chuckling. “Thank you, thank you.” He took another bite of food before continuing. “So what about you? You have any moves?”

You snorted again. “Gray, I barely go out on enough dates in the first place, much less enough to establish any moves.”

“Why are you always so modest? You can tell me you know.”

You laughed. “Yeah duh I know, but I’m genuinely serious this time. I don’t get asked out all that often.” You shrugged. “It’s why I get excited when I do get to go on dates. It’s fun.”

Grayson was the one who couldn’t help but stare now. He blinked at you, unable to really comprehend what you were saying to him. How could people not want to ask you out? You were incredible. Looking at you now, your hair up in a dainty bun, a few curls falling down the sides of your face; your pretty off the shoulder dress that matched your deep magenta-maroon lipstick. And he wasn’t lying about your eyes, they really were so pretty. They sparkled, even more so when you were laughing. Which was usually accompanied by your scrunched up nose, making you look like a cute little bunny. He smiled at the thought, as he loved seeing that expression on your face.

“Huh.” he said out loud then, not realizing when it was he had starting noticing your small actions like that so much.

“What?” You asked, looking up at him, and suddenly, seeing those same eyes he always saw staring at him, he felt almost light headed. His face felt warm, seeing you look at him like that. He was almost afraid that you could see what he was thinking. But why would that be a problem unless…

Grayson slowly widened his eyes. Did he seriously have feelings for Y/N?

“Nothing, sorry.” He said with a smile, looking back down at his food. Sure, he’d always thought you were amazing. You were gorgeous, sure, and you made him laugh. And yea he loved hanging out with you, watching movies and playing video games, and he adored being your roommate, having late night conversations and spending all your free time together…

He wanted to mentally smack himself in the face. Shit, he had feelings for you.

This was going to be a long night.

[ilkkawhat]

Rating: General Audiences Relationships: Nick Stokes & Cassie McBride, Nick Stokes & Sara Sidle Characters: Nick Stokes, Sara Sidle, Cassie McBride Word Count: 3,059 Additional Tags: Angst, Episode: s06e05 Gum Drops, Rescue, Father-Daughter Relationship, Adoption, Possible new fic series??? who knows it's 2021 anything can happen Summary: A brief dive into Nick's feelings surrounding Cassie's rescue, and what may have happened to her afterwards.

read on ao3

“Let me out.” 

He couldn’t say the words at the time. Could only choke out a literal cry for help, though there were plenty of words that his brain was firing—and missing—but those three words in particular were just some of the few pleading thoughts he had while he was still enclosed in a glass coffin—one that was ready to collapse at any given second—why didn’t they see that? Why did they all stand on top of it? Why didn’t they open it immediately just to give him some air, just brush the damn ants off, no extinguisher needed.

He didn’t understand why it took so long to get him out. 

To rescue him. 

Maybe it’s cause that’s not what they do. They never really get to, always showing up when the rescue fails.

Or when it never arrives in the first place.

So they don’t really know how to rescue someone. Scramble around because they’re used to placing evidence markers and taking pictures, and unless it’s raining there’s really no rush because well, what’s the need?

And it hadn’t been known to him at the time that they were indeed aware the fan was going to die, that he was going to run out of air—he could only hope the desperation in his screams would tell them that, the ignored cry for help as they all left the hole, left him. 

Did they just assume because the unearthed the coffin that he would suddenly be able to breathe even with the condensing, scratched kept closed? Figure, “we still have another hour or so until the air runs out entirely , maybe even more since he’s not actively breathing.”

He didn’t understand their odd sort of...patience with the situation. Even Grissom took the time to calm him down before the lid was opened. 

His patience, however, in this rescue mission he’s taken upon himself despite Sara’s warnings, her doubt that it may not have a happy ending; is completely gone.

He’s not had any sleep since they started the case. Granted, he’s not had much sleep at all in the past five months but his senses are as sharp as ever, his eyes hyper focused looking for anything that doesn’t belong in the lake’s waters or forested banks. 

Like the body of a little girl.

Or more gum drops.

He almost thinks he sees a trail of them floating in the disturbed water as they pass through, beacons of lights waving over—though he feels like he’s doing a better job than the supposed actual patrolman operating the boat. He’s waving his flashlight all around him, while theirs seems to remain still. 

Then again, he’s the one acting like he’s going to “rescue a person, not recover a body.”

Yes, he knows that’s not usually the case.

He remembers being on the other end of that ray of light searching for a lost soul, remembers how close he was to losing his life, hanging by a last thread that was about to snap—how that light was really a rescue in itself in the darkness that entrapped him. His only light had been shot out to keep himself alive, only a dim green glow to remind him where he was. 

Sara’s words continue to echo, their conversation playing on a loop as that small part of his brain tries to convince him not to get his hopes too high.

But luckily, he proves himself wrong.

“Stop the boat,” Nick commands, his light shining on another fragile thread, one he hopes is not already broken.

“Stop the boat,” he repeats as he throws off his hat to get full view, tossing it aside and nervously gripping the flashlight in his hand. His heart hasn’t raced this fast since it nearly burst in the box.

“Let me out,” he echoes, but it’s not a broken plea. It’s a determined one. He’s not even going to wait for the boat to stop, his legs are itching to run to the pair he sees sticking out between the branches. A pair of shoes small enough for a ten year old girl.

“Let me out,” he says again but he doesn’t wait for any sort of response, nor was he asking for one. If anything, it was for himself. The permission to take the plunge as he jumps out of the boat, not even caring if the water is still deep. He runs as fast as he can through the water and as he approaches his heart soars before it shatters when his light shines onto what he immediately assumes is a corpse. 

There’s a slice on her neck, the classic slit of the throat that would kill anybody within seconds.

Her skin is pale, far too pale to still be alive though sure, it’s cold enough that his own skin is paling too, even more than that, it’s shaking. Is she shaking as his fingers press against her skin, or is it just him?

There’s still a pulse. It’s weak, it’s fading, but it’s there. Or is it the pulse that’s beating out of his own fingers?

There’s still rope around her wrists. Why would she leave it on?

There’s still a piece of gum in her hand, the final breadcrumb that she wasn’t able to put down because this is her resting place. Her premature grave.

But there’s still life in her yet, because like Nick, she’s a survivor. 

And she’s being rescued. 

“Hang on, baby,” he whispers as his soaked hand strokes her dry, matted hair. “I got you. You’re going to be okay.”

He hears the patrol call for the paramedics. They attempt to move her but Nick advises against it. 

At least, not immediately. 

And this is the part he hates the most, that he hated the most when he was the victim. 

Click. Flash. 

The picture of the living dead girl, another for the red room of his own photography of death and violence that haunts his dreams.

He mentally places it next to the picture of himself that he accidentally saw in Grissom’s office one day. 

A morbid sense of hope washes over him; if he was rescued from a horrific crime and has been able to go back to his job—back to his life, there’s hope for Cassie, too. 

Right?

The paramedics were not too far behind, and he had almost hoped that the flash from the camera may have shocked Cassie back to a full state of being. Crying and in deliriously tremendous shock, maybe, like he was when he was rescued; but in the same way as a baby cries when its born, it would be a comforting sign of life while this, right here is just...tragic? Hopeless? Despair? 

He doesn’t know what he really expected, as this rescue is less triumphant than he thought it would be after everything that led to this moment. It feels more...depressing, like they’re still somehow too late. Perhaps it’s due to how he seems to be the only one driven enough, how there was almost a suffocating amount of people crowding his scene. 

Cassie, on the other hand, has nobody.

Nobody but him.

He rides back with her, holding that same hand still clutching her last candied beacon of hope and he can’t tell if it’s still water dripping off of his face, or if tears are streaming as he remembers how his hand was held, how his family—both blood and found—were there for him. How they comforted him. Soothed him. Reassured him that this would never happen again. 

Kept telling him that he wasn’t actually dead.

He texts Sara and Greg, tells them he got her. Being the lead on the case, he instructs them on what to do yet somehow, he feels like he’s lost that role having abandoned them for his own selfish savior complex. 

They still do what he asks anyway.

When they get to the hospital, he’s turned away, because he’s not family. He’s shaking but not just from the cold of his wet clothes slapping against his skin, but from the anger as he lashes out, telling them she doesn’t have any, not anymore, and she needs someone. They express their “sympathy” but the best they agree to is calling him when she’s out of surgery.

He makes more calls, wondering who can be there for her, is there any family left? 

There’s not. 

Sara brings him a new change of clothes. Fresh pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie that he packed for the nights. He’s glad she chose that, as he hunches over in the waiting room. 

“She’s got nobody, Sar,” he sniffles, rubbing his hands together. Even the fourth cup of coffee still hasn’t warmed him up. “Who’s...Who’s gonna take care of this little girl?”

“You know what’s going to happen,” Sara sighs. “She’ll end up in the system.”

“Is it...is it bad?” he dares to ask, knowing he’s crossing a line, he doesn’t meet her eyes when he asks it. Just stares into the swirling black sea between his hands.

“Is what bad?” she puts a hand on his back, sliding up and down beneath the hood. 

“The...the adoption system. Just bein’...passed around like that. Thrown into an already established family, not sure if you’re gonna…”

“Fit in?”

Nick nods.

“It’s...it’s not easy. Doesn’t always happen right away, and when it does, it can...it can be a gamble. You know that well enough from the things we see.”

“Yeah,” he nods into his chest. 

They sit in silence for few more minutes.

“You don’t hafta be here, ya know,” he shrugs. “G’s already halfway back to Vegas.”

“I know.”

“A-And Grissom’s flight probably landed, he might have more cases to assign.”

“I’m not the only CSI he’s got,” Sara smirks. 

“Gonna be a while till she gets outta surgery, so they tell me at least.”

“You trying to get rid of me?”

“Nah,” he pulls a face. “I just...I hope you’re not doing this cause…”

“Go on, say it. Cause I feel guilty?”

“That’s...not...but sort of…” he mumbles.

“I don’t feel...guilty. It feels good to have found her alive. I didn’t want her to be dead, Nick.”

“I know,” he sighs.

“And I don’t want you to...to be so hurt every time something like this...happens. You’ve changed, Nick and I can’t...I don’t know if it’s necessarily for the better.”

He finally meets her eyes. His face pale, wet and weary. Dark circles under his eyes that he typically conceals with a light coating of makeup, cause he knows people will just worry. His hair’s dried now, sticking up in all directions. 

Anybody would think, and the patrons of the hospital most certainly do at this point, and even Sara seems to think that he’s nothing more than a broken mess.

He’s not. 

“I think it is,” he tells her in a surge of confidence in his voice.

He expects her to be mad.

Instead, she smiles at him with pride. 

“Well...seems like you might be right. I know this case kind of...got under our skins a bit but...I think you did a good job,” Sara tells him, and with a final press to his shoulder to keep him grounded and humble, she walks away, knowing before he even tells her what he’s about to do as she passes by a father walking with a small girl through the entrance to the hospital.

That’s when his mind is made up and he makes more calls, talks to more people including the child services agent assigned to Cassie’s case. He finishes paperwork for the case file, and for an application. He knows it’s going to take time to get approved, just as its going to take time for Cassie to recover enough for him to even...ask her if that’s something she would...want. 

And that’s when the doubts sink in, what if she doesn’t want that? Doesn’t want him? She doesn’t even know him, all he is to her is the guy that found her. And he would understand better than anybody else the mistrust in strangers. And even if he’s a member of law enforcement, a public servant, somebody you’re supposed to be able to trust, what if he would just...mess it all up? Would it even work with his schedule? Unless he started taking more time off, he supposes. Less voluntary overtime—though Ecklie’s trying to cut down on that anyway. 

The fears don’t settle, even with all the votes of confidence he receives from nearly everybody who accounts for him as a person worthy of being a father. 

But more than that, he’s afraid of being a replacement to her, instead of what he really hopes to be; a connection. 

And when he gets the card that she hand-draws for him, that fear goes away.

He doesn’t get to see her right away after the surgery, but the minute visiting hours open up again, he walks to the room with a case file in hand. He does his best to keep himself together, but shows the cracks as he can’t hide his empathy for her pain, though he doesn’t allow himself to fully cry and make her feel even worse. 

Instead, he does what he’s always done best, and listens to her. Holds her arm and keeps her grounded, too, and she gets more and more confident as she continues to talk—though some parts are harder than others. 

“You’re doing great, sweetheart, go on,” he encourages her with a smile. 

They take breaks for her to rest her vocal chords. When her voice goes out, she uses the notepad and he waits patiently, letting her lead their conversation.

She’s just as smart as Nick expected, asking her own questions and discussing the pictures of evidence in the folder. While he’s never quite been a teacher, she’s the best student he’s ever had.

When the story is done, she loses composure and he sits on the edge of the bed, hugging her as her fists ball the sweatshirt stained with tears. 

“You are so brave, Cassie. You are the bravest little girl I’ve ever met,” he comforts her, silent tears streaming down his own face and falling into the same dry, matted hair as they did before. 

She doesn’t say much after that, but when she calms down enough and visiting time comes to an end, she asks one final question that he knew was coming, yet was still unprepared for.

She can’t even say the words. Writes it on another page in the notebook.

“What’s going to happen to me now?” 

He still doesn’t know if he was the right person to answer this question, if this was something that her counselor should answer but he’s both too excited and too anxious to keep waiting.

“Well, honey, you’re...you’ll be going with Ms. Nancy, you met her, she’s going to take you to a place that’s...that’s like a hotel, u-until you can find a new family…” He doesn’t feel confident in his explanation, winces in expecting her to lash out, “I don’t want a new family!” which is exactly what he reads on her face as the crayon rolls from her hand.

“And I...sort of threw my name into the hat, that you could come stay with me, but only if you wanta—”

“I’d like that,” she nods, and smiles.

“Really?”

She nods again more fervently.

“I wanted to keep it a surprise,” a voice startles Nick, the aforementioned counselor he had been consulting with enters the room with a wide smile on her face. “Before you came by, I had a moment with Cassie and discussed it. There’s still some hurdles of paperwork to go through, but by the time she’s out of the hospital, she can go to her new home. With you.”

“That’s...That’s wonderful,” he cries, quickly wiping his tears but they don’t stop coming, especially not when Cassie reaches for his wrist and pulls him back to the bed, reaching out in the same way he reached out to his own surrogate father when he was brought back from the brink of despair. 

That’s what he wanted to happen, at least.

“What’s going to happen to me now?” 

It’s the same question he asked himself when he woke up in the hospital in the restrained trance, tied up in tubes and wires, fearful that he would never return to his life as it was before—and in a way, he never would. There’s pieces of Nick that are still buried, just as there are pieces of Cassie dropped along the trail of gum.

“I don’t know,” he tearfully admits. His application was still in process. The child services counselor, while holding respect for him did seem to kind of...judge him for being so desperate about this. Suspicious, even. He knows everybody would attest to his character but knows that he’s still bogged down with a lot of baggage, no matter how well he’s doing on his journey through this life.

He’s uncertain of the future, both his and Cassie’s, but one thing he is certain of—

“No matter what happens,” he holds her arm again, uses his other hand to brush the hair out of her face, cup her cheek. “Where you go, who you end up with, I will always be there for you, okay? You can call me anytime you need—”

He digs out his own card, not hand drawn and just adorned with his job title and phone number, and knows it’s not much to offer to someone who’s just lost everything, but knows the weight of what he does offer, in two words that he once vowed to his own savior.

“I promise.”

Cassie may not understand all of what’s going on between the shock and her inexperienced age, but she does seem to understand what a promise is, and what a promise means. 

She puts her hand on top of Nick’s, and even though she’s said it before in writing, she says it again out loud with the biggest show of strength he’s seen in any survivor, not even in himself.

“Thank you.”

[sadviper]

Woo Do-Hwan: Special Interview with Hanryu Pia – July 2020

@staidwaters​ - Thank you SO MUCH for rescuing my first turd of a translation from whatever overly-literal/not-fluent hell it came from. This here is a master editor!!!

@ibelongtomousse​ - And thank you for indulging my late-night freakouts while I tried to make this happen!

We asked Woo Do-Hwan about his experiences filming "My Country," which was his first historical drama. His character, Seon-ho, is the son of a noble family, who is discriminated against for being illegitimate and who obtained an irreplaceable friend in Yang Se-jong. Audiences were captivated by Seon-ho's low voice and the way Woo Do-Hwan made his gaze express the many tragedies the character had endured. During filming, he co-starred with his idol Jang Hyuk.

In Woo Do-Hwan’s first attempt at a historical drama, he co-starred with an admired senior:

WDH: It’s a great honor to work with him. Ten years ago, I was watching Jan Hyuk-sunbae’s work when I first started to have this dream, that I wanted to become an actor like that. 

Starting with acting a minor role in the sitcom “Come, Come, Absolutely Come”, “My Country” was Woo Do-hwan’s first challenge at a historical drama. As a long-time big fan of Jang Hyuk, finally his wish to be Jang Hyuk’s co-star was fulfilled.

WDH: I especially like the historical dramas that Jang Hyuk-sunbae appears in. I knew that sooner or later I wanted to do a historical drama, and I’m really happy that I stumbled on this amazing work. Being pictured in the same camera angles as Jang Hyuk-sunbae was really exciting; my heart was pounding out of nervousness. I put more effort into preparing for this than I ever had before. I learned that Jang Hyuk-sunbae is a very passionate actor who thinks more deeply on each scene than anyone else, and I received a lot of advice from him in scenes in which we acted together. Before I became an actor, I learned a lot from Jang Hyuk-sunbae, then after I became an actor, he taught me so many things as his co-star.

In this work, Woo Do-Hwan played Seon-ho, a young man who was born into a noble family but who was discriminated against because his mother was a slave. He attempts to become a military official to work towards his dream of a new country where people would not be bound by a caste system, but his father's manipulations tear him and his best friend Hwi apart, and the girl he likes, Hee-jae, blames him for it.

WDH: Seon-ho is the loneliest and saddest character compared to any other. Every time I see him, my heart aches— that was the side of Seon-ho that I wanted to express. Nothing goes his way but even in the midst of his struggles, he still has a special place in his heart for Hwi, Hwi’s sister, Yeon, and Hee-jae. He is a warm-hearted character. 

The showdown between Seon-ho and Hwi, over who would place first in the military exam, was loaded with powerful action.

WDH: I remember that filming took place on an extremely hot day. Since it was the first fight between the two of us, I was very careful with the acting in that scene, to make sure we conveyed the right things to the audience. It is an action scene, but it is crammed full of all sorts of different emotions. While filming that scene, we had some NG (No Good) takes due to accidentally hitting each other and the like, but by that time I had become very good friends with Se-jong, so we were able to laugh, forgive, and have a fun time filming.

Seon-ho struck Hwi in the moment when it looked as if the match had ended, and the exam official that Seon-ho’s father had bribed gave him first place. How did you sympathize with Seon-ho’s feelings of unintentionally betraying his best friend?

WDH: That part when Seon-ho struck Hwi on the head-- I discussed it with the director many times while reading through the script with him. If Seon-ho had been in a decent frame of mind, he wouldn’t have done such a thing. Probably a good explanation is that he was completely exhausted, in a state where he could not see clearly, and because he mistakenly thought that the match was not over, he unfortunately hit Hwi. The usual Seon-ho would absolutely never do such a thing.

AOA’s Seolhyun played Hee-jae, a heroine who is as brave as Seon-ho or Hwi, and who lives her life with strong convictions. This was your first time working with her; what was your impression of her?

WDH:  I think Seolhyun is a really amazing girl. Most of the leading roles in “My Country” are played by men, so I don’t think it was simple at all for her to play a strong woman among them. But she performed the role of Hee-jae with great skill, and was very bright and cheerful on set. I felt that she is an amazing girl with a strong mental resolve, given that she was probably very busy compared to everyone else. She really has her act together; you'd never guess that she was the youngest! I learned a lot from her. 

Must-have items for a rural location

This work took a long time to film and took place in a rural location. In addition to the script, we heard that there were items that he would always bring onsite.

WDH: Filming occurred all over the place for nine months, so I would often sleep at a boarding house. So I brought pillows! I always had a pillow stuffed into one side of my suitcase (laugh). It wasn’t special, it was just a pillow from home that I sleep with every day.

They say that performing in this historical drama became an opportunity to visit many different scenic spots throughout the country that he hadn’t known about before.

WDH: I didn’t know that there are so many beautiful places in Korea. We climbed various mountains and ventured deep into remote mountain interiors in order to include as many splendid views as possible in this work. So there were times when we did things like spend two hours climbing a mountain. I remember hiking up a mountain for a long time when I shot that waterfall scene with Hwi in the first episode.

Seon-ho’s straight, long hair and variety of colorful clothing were one of the highlights.

WDH: Se-jong and Jang Hyuk-sunbae grew their hair long, but my hair was a wig. I grew my bangs out because I thought my own hair would look more realistic there. It was extremely hot as a result, but there was one benefit—thanks to the wig, I did not feel the heat in the scene where I was enveloped by flames. It was inconvenient but I had fun expressing the ambiance of that time period with the long hair. I was able to wear a lot of beautiful traditional clothing. I feel like I have  worn everything except the king’s dragon robes now. Armor was a lot of fun too.

His calm, deep voice was very attractive, but because it was his first time in a historical drama, he found it difficult to enunciate.

WDH: Vocalization in a historical drama is different compared to a contemporary drama. It was a bit of a long process for Se-jeong and me; we'd consult with the director and then fumble around stressing out about it. I felt a strong sense of relief after we got through the opening scenes. But the next drama that I will be appearing in after “My Country” is “The King: Eternal Monarch”, so I will once again have to take some time to transform into my period drama mannerisms (laugh). I wanted to stay immersed in Nam Seon-ho’s mindset for a little longer, but regrettably I wasn’t able to. Right away I cut my hair and started filming a new work.

He continues challenging himself to do new things-- his first romance was “The Great Seducer”, his first historical drama was “My Country”, and for his newest work, “The King: Eternal Monarch”, he will play two roles for the first time. This time what will he show everyone as he takes on this challenge?

WDH: I want to act in a historical drama again. And romances, action shows-- there are many things I'd like to do. I won't say, "I did it once already, so I don't want to do it again for a while." Even if the genre is the same, the story and characters are different, so I always keep an open mind. 

After a 9 month period of long-term filming, Woo Do-hwan feels more gratitude towards his fans.

WDH: During times when I am filming or times that are physically and mentally arduous, I remind myself of how much appreciation fans have given me, that so many have been kind enough to watch my work, and I feel like I have to work hard for them, for all of you. That feeling became even stronger as I was doing “My Country”. I often think about how I can give back to fans. I am always thankful to you guys.

[im-not-looking-for-forgiveness]

hiiii. i would love it v much if the reader adopts a therapy dog for tommy shelby!! bonus points if he doesn't know it's a therapy dog until it's bringing him blankets and medicine bottles when he's having one of /those/ nights 🥴

Daybreak - Thomas Shelby x Reader

This request has a special place in my heart 😭❤️

*****

"I don't need a dog."

"Tommy, don't tell me you haven't missed Alfie's dog, Cyril."

"I haven't." Thomas insisted, giving the black labrador retriever at your feet a stern look.

"Just give it until tomorrow, yeah? Please, Tommy?" you pleaded with your boyfriend.

"Fine." he gave in reluctantly, and pulled you against him.

"Good. Thank you. I'm sure you'll love her as much as I do." you smiled and kissed Tommy's cheek.

"What's her name?"

"I haven't named her yet. I thought you would want to." you admitted sheepishly.

"Ah. Well, we'll see about that."

"We will. I've got to go, Tom." you said, checking the time. You were traveling to London tonight for an important morning meeting at work.

"I know. I wish you could stay a little longer." he told you, uncharacteristically honest about his feelings. Tommy hugged you tightly.

"You know I would stay with you constantly if I could, but I need to be there tomorrow. They're announcing the promotion." you frowned, hugging him back.

"Why don't you quit and work with me instead?" he asked for the umpteenth time.

You smiled, "Tommy, we've talked about this. Working for you would just be keeping you company, and you certainly don't have to pay me to do that."

"I'll pay you double what you make now." he pressed his forehead to yours.

"I know this, and I love you ever more for it, but I just can't. Now, I've really got to go." you told him, before giving him a quick kiss.

"What if I make you late?" he tried again, sliding a hand to your ass.

"Tommy!" you giggled.

"I know, I know. Come on." he relented, taking your hand in his.

Tommy walked with you until you were seated safely in the car. The black lab followed happily behind. Johnny Dogs was taking you to the train station per Tommy's request.

"I'll be back as soon as I can. I love you." you told Thomas, a little worried for him. You had a vague feeling that something was going to go wrong.

"I love you." he said quietly, pressing a kiss to your temple.

And then, you were off. You tried to calm your fears with the knowledge that Tommy had accepted the dog. See, the dog's purpose was not to replace Cyril. It was to replace you. The unnamed dog was trained to pick up on when someone was in distress and find solutions for them. Aberama Gold had put you in contact with the dog trainer, and you felt you could trust him. After all, men in the business of war and politics needed all the support they could get.

---

Tommy stared at the dog, and the dog stared back. What was he to do with her? He didn't need a dog. He didn't even want a dog! They were a lot of work that he didn't have time for. So why was he unable to think about anything else?

"What do you want of me, eh?" he asked the dog.

She, obviously, said nothing back.

Feeling frustrated, he put the dog out of his office and shut the door. Out of sight, out of mind. Right?

"Move on, Tom." he whispered to himself, and went to work sorting through the papers on his desk. He constantly had a lot of work ahead of him.

A few slow hours passed, and Thomas decided he should be done for the day. His eyes were irritated with staring at words on paper.

Just as Tommy stood, a loud crash sounded down the hall.

Immediately, his thoughts and heart started racing. Someone was out to get him! He pulled out his gun. Tommy then ducked behind the desk and cocked the weapon. His mind was tricking him into thinking he was back in the war. His office had become a tunnel, and the door was now a wall in which he expected a shovel to burst through any moment.

When the door did open, his brain mistook the four paws for boots on earth. Tommy's breathing was erratic, and he couldn't seem to focus. He felt like he was completely helpless, and absolutely hated it. Every time he thought he was getting better, this would happen and he'd be reduced back to square one.

A black shape came into view, and Tommy pointed the gun. He nearly fired before he realized that the other gun he was expecting was a small black nose.

"Damn dog!" he shouted, fear still wrecking havoc on his system.

The sweet girl had a blanket in her mouth, and she draped it over Tommy without hesitation. She didn't cower or shrink back. This was her job. She was supposed to take care of her new master, and that's exactly what she intended on doing.

She turned and left. While she did so, Tommy tossed the gun away and sank entirely onto the floor. He felt so off that he didn't even bother removing the blanket. How had she gotten in? He was sure the door had been closed. Was he really losing his mind this time?

A moment later, the dog returned with a whiskey bottle wedged in her jaws. Tommy gave her an incredulous look, but accepted the bottle. Where had she gotten it? Tommy quickly decided he didn't care. He took the stopper out and took a swig. This was an unexpected turn, but not an unpleasant one.

The dog left again. He was still finding it hard to breathe.

Tommy took another drink before setting the bottle aside. The familiar taste was helping to ground him in the present. He was not in France! He was home. He was home.

She trotted back over to Tommy, his medicine bottle carefully in her mouth. She dropped it in Tommy's lap before sitting back and wagging her tail.

"Where the fuck did you learn that?" Tommy asked in a whisper, coming to the realization that Y/N had gotten this dog on purpose. Oh, god, he loved that woman.

The dog barked at him, and he snorted in amusement. Tommy took a small sip from the bottle, and only then did she leave again. He scoffed, and set that bottle aside too.

When the dog returned for the final time, she carried a pillow in her mouth. Tommy gently took it from her, and placed it behind his head and against the desk. The dog, wagging her tail, promptly climbed into his lap.

"Hey." Tommy began to complain. He let it slide, however, when he realized how comforting this truly was.

Tentatively, Thomas wrapped his arms around her. She wagged her tail more fiercely, and even licked his face a little bit. He sighed against her black fur, and kept holding on. She wasn't Y/N, but she was a close second.

Unwilling to sleep after all that, Tommy just stayed in this spot. He had whiskey and a dog. What more did he currently need, besides you? You were safe, and you were returning tomorrow. He was safe, and had a lovely dog. That was something he couldn't ignore.

He didn't realize how much time had passed after that until he could see rays of light peeking through the curtain. It was morning! Mornings were always his favorite time of day. They were a sign of a new beginning, and a sign of hope. He'd never admit this out loud, of course.

"We made it." he told the dog, and then immediately felt embarrassed. The dog didn't think they were in danger, only he had. Then again, the dog didn't judge him for that. The dog just helped him without expecting any reward. Dammit. He was already too attached.

Yawning, Tommy finally got off the floor. He wrote a brief note and took it with him as he went to your shared bedroom. It was then placed on your nightstand. He was suddenly so tired, that every action seemed twice as hard as normal.

Thomas completely undressed, and climbed into the bed. He patted the empty space next to him, and the dog immediately joined him. She plopped down, and wagged her tail when Tommy pulled her closer. Within moments, he had fallen into a deep and peaceful sleep.

---

"As much as I like driving you, you should really get you your own car, Y/N." Johnny laughed, pulling up to Tommy's house once more. You had been ushering him to drive faster nearly the entire ride back.

"Thank you. I'm sure he's fine, but you don't always know with him." you said, giving Johnny a quick kiss to the cheek before hopping out of the car.

"Let me know, alright?" he asked, sobering up a little.

"Always. Have a safe drive back." you nodded before turning to go inside.

As soon as you went through the doors, the dog was there to greet you. You pet her and gave her a few kisses. Hopefully the fact that she was still here meant something.

"I fed her and let her outside already, Y/N. She was in Mr. Shelby's room all night." one of the maids informed you, smiling. She had secretly hoped they would keep the dog, too.

"Thank you. Is Tommy still here?" you answered.

"Oh, yes, he's still in bed."

Quickly, you went to go find him. He usually had such trouble sleeping that even if he had been up all night, he wouldn't sleep through the next day. It made you worried. You had had a feeling that something was going to happen when you were away. It was why you had adopted the dog in the first place. You had just hoped the dog wouldn't have to do her job on the very first night.

You read the note Tommy left:

'Her name is Daybreak.'

Tommy must have had some sort of episode or nightmare in the night, and Daybreak obviously did her job well. You smiled, relieved. If you were gone, Daybreak could save him. If he shut you out, as he did some times, the dog would do what you could not.

You took off your shoes and your outerwear, and climbed into bed beside him.

"Y/N?" he murmured softly, rolling to face you. He barely opened his eyes. His hair was messy from sleep, and he looked absolutely adorable.

"I'm here, Tommy." you said, putting yourself in his arms.

"Welcome home." he whispered, hugging you against him. He ran his fingers through your hair a few times, just taking you in.

"Are you alright?" you asked tentatively.

"I am now. I'm keeping that dog." he answered.

"Good. I hoped she'd grow on you." you told him, aware he was avoiding the subject of last night. If he didn't want to talk about it, you wouldn't pry.

"That she did." was all he said, before placing a kiss on the top of your head.

You'd tell him about the promotion later on. For now, you were just going to be there for him. He deserved some peace.