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starrystevie · 2 years

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eddie's new years resolution is to stop running away from things that are scary, and steve harrington scares him.

steve with his hair and his body and his charm, all the things that everyone knows and admires him for. but it's more like the things other people don't get at a glance that scare eddie. the way he smiles softly when he's endeared by the kids or the way he subconsciously makes his way to the front of their group to always be the first line of protection or the way he offers up his couch to eddie the second he hears he isn't sleeping.

it all adds up to steve being utterly terrifying because eddie can't control the way he's falling in love with him. his heart beats wildly in his chest when steve's smile is directed towards him. his lungs feel too tight when steve teases him, forcing broken laughs out of him to try and kickstart his chest to take heaving breaths. his skin feels like a live wire anytime steve so much as brushes his arm. he gets lightheaded by the half clavin klein cologne and half steve harrington smell when they sit close on his tiny couch as they watch old reruns.

but eddie isn't running away this year, so he faces steve head on. he flirts with him at every opportunity he gets, pressing up into his space with wide grins and hooded eyes. he lets his touches linger along with his heavy looks and waits for the day that steve will hopefully flirt back.

steve's new years resolution is to stop being such a relentless flirt, and man, is he dying to flirt back with eddie.

it's all robin fault, really. she pokes fun at him enough for sweet talking anything that moves and steve finally had enough, blurting out one day that he'd give it up for new years. he knew it was a mistake the second he said it, but he wasn't going to back down.

and it's easy enough for the first three days of 1987. steve sticks to his guns and only puts on the harrington charm for old mrs. hasslebeck who comes to rent a different fred astaire movie each morning. steve is genuinely proud of himself for not caving and even prouder when robin gawks at him in surprise when he doesn't have a date that upcoming friday.

then eddie munson has to ruin it all. eddie, with his big brown eyes that light up when he talks to steve about anything exciting, his hands flapping around animatedly. eddie, who keeps leaning up into his face with his pretty pretty smile, wide and bright, as he lays the pick up lines on thick.

it makes steve blush, his heart racing, frazzled little chuckles the only response he has when all he really wants to do is press back into eddie. to loop a finger into his belt loop to tug their bodies together with a smirk pulling at his cheeks. to tuck a stray curl behind eddie's ear and watch as it makes him blush in a way that matches steve's.

but he has robin whispering in his ear, like a tiny angel or devil on his shoulder, reminding him of his resolution. so steve grits his teeth and puts up with it all, the looks and lines and touches. he files them all away in the back of his mind and counts down the days until it'll be 1988 and he can give in to his wants and desires and finally flirt back.

if he's being honest with himself, steve made it further than he expected.

it's june and the sun is making it miserably hot in hawkins. the party's all over at his place, kids jumping into pool with cannonballs that splash nancy as she sunbathes and robin as she reads, and eddie's sitting next to steve because that's their new normal. their chairs are pushed close together and eddie's playing with a fraying end of steve's chair's cushion.

eddie's fingers keep brushing over the bit of exposed skin at the edge of steve's trunks and it's driving him insane. he's doing his eddie-typical move where he's leaning in just enough to have his breath tickling steve's face as he tell him teasingly cute things over and over. calling him things like stevie and honey and darling in that sticky sweet drawl that steve loves. letting his eyes linger on steve's lips before flicking them back up, looking at steve with adoration and a hint of mischief.

and he can't help it, okay? not when eddie's looking at him like that. he can't take it anymore.

"you gotta stop doing that, man." steve watches as hurt and confusion flashes across eddie's face before settling into something blank. eddie leans back and crosses his arms over his chest, looking anywhere but steve.

"shit, i didn't mean-" steve starts floundering. eddie's eyes make their way back to his and he feels like he's pleading to get his point across. "i can't."

eddie scoffs and rolls his eyes before leveling steve with a sad smirk, closed off and scared. "i get it harrington. sorry i came on too strong. hint taken."

"no it's not- it's not that."

eddie perks up ever so slightly, his fingers tensing over his own bicep as he resettles in his chair. "then what's the issue?"

steve can't help the blush that crawls up his neck, hopes he can blame it on the hot june sun instead of how he's thinking about eddie's fingers brushing against his thigh just a minute earlier. he brings a hand up to scrub down his face before letting out an exasperated sigh.

"i want," his voice is low enough that only eddie can hear him, "to flirt back so badly, you have no idea. but i can't 'cause i told myself that i'd stop and that '87 would be the year that i didn't flirt with everyone just because it was fun, made it my resolution and everything. but god, eddie. you have no idea how hard that is around you."

and then eddie's laughing. it's loud and sharp, which startles steve into laughing along with him. they're bent over, clutching their sides and the kids and nancy and robin are paying them no mind as eddie slings his arms around steve's neck to drag him into a kiss.

it's messy, teeth clacking and noses bending awkwardly and they're both still laughing which makes it even worse. or better, however one would look at that. steve pulls aways and keeps his hands wrapped tightly around eddie's forearms as he looks at his still smiling face.

"okay, wow. hi?"

"steve."

"yes?"

"we are so stupid." eddie darts in, presses another quick kiss to steve's lips and pulls away just as quickly. "it was my resolution to try and not run away from everything. you know, the scary stuff."

steve's smile is crinkling his cheeks as he furrows his brows to look at eddie. "am i... scary?"

"terrifying."

they push their chairs even closer after that. they wrap their arms around each other and have toes pressing into calves and whisper cheesy pick up lines into each other's ears, ones that steve's been saving up for months. and when robin looks over with a shit-eating grin like she won a bet, steve has no problem untangling his fingers from where their entwined with eddie's to flip her the bird.

#don't ask me where this came from and why it took like 4 hours for me to write #i cant help it im distracted by rewatching season one #steddie #steddie headcanon #eddie munson #steve harrington #my writing #stranger things fic #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #steddie drabble #1k

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anotherpapercut · 1 year

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hi more drug question

I have been told many many times that using ecstasy will basically fry your seratonin receptors so that you will never be able to feel happy again unless you are using the drug. I am assuming now that this is false but I am curious now as to how false. Is it something that CAN happen if you take too much at once or too often, or is this just random Drug Scary misinformation

Also also since wellbutrin is not an SSRI does LSD work when you are on it or does it also cancel it out

lol that's kind of an extreme version of what I usually hear! you're right that basically the answer here is no. this comes from a couple different things. first is MDMA induced serotonin toxicity, and 2nd is something called "serotonin syndrome" which is a real thing that can happen, but it's really really hard to get like this. prepare for a very long answer lmfaooo

MDMA induced serotonin toxicity occurs when you take too high doses too frequently. MDMA IS slightly neurotoxic, but so are many prescription drugs so don't let that word freak you out too much! basically MDMA works by dumping large amounts of serotonin into your brain, hence why it's the happy/love drug lol. if you take too much too often, your brain will straight up run out of serotonin. obviously that's bad! it's not as simple as "never feeling happy again" but you will essentially have depression for a bit because of lack of serotonin (on its own, low serotonin levels following modest MDMA use is not damaging and resolves within a few days) but the real problem is that if you are on MDMA with depleted serotonin, your brain will continue releasing dopamine which will attach to the serotonin receptors and damage them. this is what can cause long term depression symptoms, the damaged serotonin receptors. ultimately your brain will heal this on its own unless for some reason I guess you keep taking it a lot (which would have no effect. when you take too much MDMA your brain just runs out of serotonin to dump so like. it just won't work lol)?? it can also be treated with the supplement NAC, which I would recommend taking any time you use MDMA because of this!

to sum up MDMA toxicity: it can happen but only if you're misusing it! it's generally recommended that you dont do much more than 1 dose every 3 months or so to make sure your brain has time to reset. research interactions with anything else you're using (prescription or not), take some NAC in the weeks following a dose, drink a lot of water, keep your body temperature regular because that can worsen it, and take some antioxidants like alpha lipoic acid and grape seed oil during/immediately after taking MDMA - it's when you come down that your brain is delicate and could use the protection. also this may sound counterintuitive but weed also has antioxidant properties, so smoking it as you come down helps a lot. also if you DO have MDMA toxicity taking more MDMA will not help u feel happy unfortunately it will just make it worse lol, your brain only has so much serotonin to give

now serotonin syndrome can happen with the misuse of any drug that works on serotonin including MAOIs, SSRIs, and SNRIs, usually by taking a VERY large dose (but some people are just extremely sensitive). it usually takes care of itself eventually, but the amount of time it takes and stuff is kinda hard to pin down bc it's REALLY misunderstood and tends to be overly self diagnosed. again this is like super super hard to do. you would have to take a MASSIVE dose or mix it with other serotonin affecting drugs (ESPECIALLY MAOIs. DO NOT MIX MDMA WITH MAOI ANTI DEPRESSANTS). like 5 times the normal dose at least probably (partner is currently trying to find some literature on it so he'll add that in the replies if he finds anything interesting). it will cause things like heightened anxiety and body temperature and can cause kidney problems or seizures if it's like really bad and untreated. but you'd feel REALLY bad before it got to that point, so in general like, if you take any type of drug and feel extremely bad after go to the doctor lol. mostly this will also just heal itself; your brain is pretty resilient! again usually if this does happen it's very minor. cases bad enough to require hospitalization are exceedingly rare

to give you an example of what these can look like, I have a friend who was given about 3-4 times a regular dose by a fucking piece of shit asshole she knows and, this part is crucial, it was mixed with a very large amount of alcohol AND acid (which can slightly increase the neurotoxicity. normally not a huge issue but becomes one in circumstances like this), AND coke; like she was blackout drunk and while not on a lot of acid or coke, this is just too many things to have in your body and brain at one time. the mixture of such a large amount different drugs caused her what I'm guessing was a mild case of both of these things at once. she experienced slightly worsened depression for about 6 months after, and actually had a mild stutter for almost a year. I made sure she took some NAC and other things that aid brain healing, and she didn't try molly again for a long time to be super sure she didn't overload her brain before it was ready. this is a pretty extreme case, and even with that she has fully recovered thankfully. do NOT EVER do drugs with someone you don't trust with your life. DO NOT EVER do drugs in doses you have not confirmed for yourself to be safe and DO NOT EVER mix drugs without finding out if it's safe!!! just as a small aside though: usually taking molly and acid at the same time is perfectly safe. in fact it's called a candy flip and I HIGHLY recommend it because it's fucking awesome. again, just make sure you are taking safe doses in a safe environment

OKAY now finally your specific question about Wellbutrin: I actually take Wellbutrin so I can answer this one from personal experience! Wellbutrin should not alter the effects of LSD in any way HOWEVER! both of these drugs lower your seizure threshold! I'm on the max dose of Wellbutrin (which is the max dose BECAUSE of seizure risk) so when I plan to drop acid I usually either skip my dose entirely that day or only take half depending on how much acid I'm planning to take. because of the way Wellbutrin works, this shouldn't cause you any problems as far as that goes. for me, not taking my Wellbutrin for a day mainly has the effect of making me more fatigued, and acid counteracts that really well by making me feel very awake/aware. if you don't want to skip or halve your dose though you can also take things that will RAISE your seizure threshold. so like I sometimes will smoke hemp because CBD actually will help with that. the risk here isn't huge either way especially if you have no history of seizures, but again if it's something you're concerned about you should be just fine skipping or lowering your dose for the day. acid usually lasts about 12 hours too so i personally don't even care about skipping the Wellbutrin that much because it basically does the same thing for me. I did take my full Wellbutrin dose the last couple times I've done acid though because I was taking a very small amount of acid (about half a tab)

in summation lol sort of TLDR I generally would recommend MDMA for recreational use because the risks of damage are low and it's safe if you are safe about it. and it's honestly just a really fun one! the only negative effect I've ever felt is some emotional and physical fatigue the following day, and this is largely because of how emotional and energetic you are on it. I just make sure to have the next day off to lay around and listen to music :)

taking it with a partner or loved one will give you an especially beautiful experience, as MDMA has been proven to facilitate extremely open emotional conversations. in fact, when MDMA was first synthesized it's primary use was in psychotherapy! research was shut down during the war on drugs, but in recent studies it's demonstrated amazing abilities to treat and even straight up CURE disorders like PTSD. for a personal anecdote, my partner actually completely fucking cured his alcoholism on a combo of MDMA and whippets (nitrous oxide) lmfao. like dude straight up went from getting black out drunk multiple nights a week to drinking nothing for the past year and a half without any other treatment program. LSD has been proven to have similar incredible results with treating and curing things like depression, anxiety, PTSD and addiction and is also a very fun and very safe one.

sorry to reiterate for the billionth time lol but it's important: these drugs are safe and fun if you make sure they're safe and fun! do your research and never use in an unfamiliar environment with people you wouldn't trust in an emergency! also I know this sounds like a lot, but remember I'm giving you like the absolute safest possible practices and emphasizing sort of over cautiousness because I think it's always better to be too safe. I've taken molly without nac and I've taken kinda big doses a little closer together than I should have without any problems. there's a bit of flexibility to these guidelines, but it's always better to think of them as being rigid so you don't end up too far in the other direction. like I've said it's really really hard to do actual damage that would last more than like a day or 2 max. most of the time you'll just be sleepy the next day from all the dancing so it's nice to do it on a day 1 of a weekend. also it only lasts like a couple of hours lol so it's not your whole day or anything!

#sorry this took me like a fucking hour i kept having to check myself w my partner + google to make sure i wasnt talking out of my ass lmfao #im sure ill be rereading and editing it for the next hour as well #damn just spent like another half hour #hope this is thorough enough for ya ajdbsjhdkshdkshs #on a tangentially related note: ive been weaning myself off of my SNRI (venlafaxine/effexor) bc it didnt help at all #and made my nails extremely brittle ????? like so bad they were constantly breaking to the quick and making me bleed #so pretty soon ill be able to do acid and molly again. sweet blessed molly how ive missed you #cant believe i forgot to mention this but as another personal mdma anecdote: my partner and i started dating while candy flipping #hed been staying at my house for like 4 months at that point but we hadnt really talked about like. relationship definitions #and I was EXTREMELY nervous bc id never even like kissed someone fr before him #but the acid and ESPECIALLY the molly made talking about our feelings with each other really easy and safe feeling #we do it every once in a while as like a poor mans couples therapy lmfao. its much easier to be open and honest and vulnerable #while crucially taking down the defensive wall that can cause you to lash out and stuff #highly recommend 👍#wtiting a book called the couple that rolls together stays together. its about doing molly but also skateboarding #drug ed #i cant stop adding to this post im sorry

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