#this was from a day or so ago; tumblr didn’t want to upload it lmao

[the-shy-artisan]

So Maizie has a new way of letting me know she’s hungry lmao

[commonwealthoccurences]

Back To Eden - ch7

I'm gonna be totally real I thought I uploaded this days ago and apparently never did and just assumed I did. Apologies lmao, I will drop the tidbit that ao3 gets chapters as soon as they're finished since there's no algorithm, so I upload them anywhere between 10pm to 3 am on there and then Tumblr gets the same chapter the next day any time after noon

Summary: Sole is a journalist and independent investigator who worked with the famous Detective Nick Valentine before the bombs dropped. They stumble out of Vault 111 with hazy memories of a case gone awry, a sense of desperate yearning, and the bitter experience of already having had to fight for their life to survive against the odds. What's a little nuclear wasteland to a (newly) seasoned investigator?

See masterlist for warnings.

Fic-long tags: Hurt comfort, angst, pining, flashback scenes, noir detective show meets post-apocalyptic chaos, Preston Garvey is a sweetheart, Sole is doing their best and living out of pure spite, slow burn (Nick/Sole), etc etc.

Sole opened the door to the clinic with a wide grin, stepping outside as Preston looked up at them from the bottom of the steps. “Well?” He asked.

“I’ve been cleared for light lifting and don’t have to use the crutches unless I get tired.” Sole practically sang.

The creases around Preston’s eyes deepened as he smiled and wrapped his arms around them, clapping Sole on the back heartily. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks, I’m so glad I can finally do stuff. Sturges has some ideas for making that water purification system, and I’m hoping we can have some sort of irrigation set up by the fall. Ooh, or maybe a shower! I’ve been dying for a shower.”

“Sounds like you’ve got big plans.”

“Yeah! I mean, I’m so glad I can do more. Spend less time sitting around twiddling my thumbs, y’know?”

“I distinctly recall you recovering from life-threatening injuries, not ‘twiddling your thumbs.’” 

“Same thing,” Sole grinned.

It seemed Sole was not the only one with plans for what had previously been free time. Occasionally, when Curie would demand they would rest and Preston would set them up in their chair so they’d at least have a scenic location to keep an eye on, someone would come around to talk about the Commonwealth with them. Curie, Preston, or Sturges would sit with them for some time and answer their questions or tell stories about their time traveling, just so Sole could get a grasp about what things were like now.

And after almost a month collectively above ground in the settlement, Sole wasn’t finding their tales as shocking anymore. Sure, it was still utterly horrifying at some points– Sole had nearly thrown up when Curie had described her encounters with patients with acute radiation poisoning and the different medications recommended for traveling now. Deathclaws, too, nearly had Sole falling out of their chair. They had been around before the war, but under strict containment by the military, and of course the damn things escaped and were still around. 

Synths, too, had been explained to them. It took a couple of different explanations and many asked questions, but Preston had been most surprised when their reaction was, “Huh. Okay, that’s cool.”

But now that they were cleared for a little more activity, Preston didn’t hesitate in insisting they practice self-defense. Sole still struggled with vertigo, and according to Curie, likely would for a while. However, Preston’s protective switch had flipped and while he made sure to ease them into it and protect them from overexertion, he wanted them capable of keeping their bearings about them even if they were having a vertigo episode in the middle of being attacked.

Along with brushing up on their self-defense came brushing up on their weapons training. Oftentimes, this had to be cut short and, thankfully, Preston didn’t ask any questions. Sometimes, when he was reminding them how to stand or to be wary of recoil, they heard Nick in him and it nearly tore them apart. Preston grew to recognize the look in their eyes when this was happening, though he never told them and he never knew what was behind that look.

All Preston knew was the way their eyes would cloud over and they’d stare off into the distance, seemingly listening but hearing something other than what he was saying. At this, he knew it was time to call it a day and let them recover in their own time. As much as he didn’t want to keep putting them in that position, them being as familiar with their weapon as they were with their own skin was essential in the wasteland. He would not bury Sole in that unoccupied grave.

While they didn’t gossip, Preston and Sturges often had quiet conversations about their concerns for Sole. Somewhere in the month they’d been in the settlement they’d both grown quite fond for them. It was rare to find genuine people in the Commonwealth and loyalties formed fast with how short life was in the wasteland. The two could see quite clearly that something was wrong, and while that was to be expected with what they had been through and all of the things they weren’t talking about, it still worried them every time reality seemed to escape them and their expression grew distant.

Still, Sole stubbornly pushed on. The turret at the back of Sanctuary was set up rather quickly, and a list of parts they needed for the water purifier was made for the next person to leave the settlement and go scavenging. Sole moved into the community house. Life stumbled on, and Sole followed close behind.

Sole and Valentine had propped themselves up in a diner booth, silent as they both sipped at cups of coffee. Sole had started taking theirs black just like Valentine not long after they had started working together; it didn’t taste any better, but the harsh, biting bitterness almost did more than the caffeine did to wake them up. Considering they had been awake for the last 36 hours, they certainly needed both the caffeine and the disgusting flavor.

Nick looked just as vacant as they did, his bleary eyes staring straight past them at nothing. Sole chose to look out the window, eyes scanning over everything but absorbing nothing. They’d had a long night, trying to collect evidence on their suspect, Jim. Unfortunately, while everyone on the case agreed that he was suspicious and they would be keeping an eye on him, there was no way they could keep him detained any longer.

Both Nick and Sole were feeling the mistake they’d made. In hindsight, they definitely should’ve trailed him for far longer and tried to catch him in a slip-up. The stress of the case had gotten to their heads and they’d just wanted to make progress. Unfortunately, that had cost them the upper hand. Now, Jim knew that he was being watched and the pair were losing steam. Sole sighed and sat back in the booth. Stars danced across the dark of their closed eyes as they pressed their fingertips to their eyelids, hoping that would somehow clear their bone-deep exhaustion.

With a jaw-splitting yawn, Sole shuddered in their seat and returned their gaze out the window. The early morning had greeted them with the chirping of birds and morning foot traffic as everyone went out for their coffee before starting work. You could feel the start of the seasonal shift as August crept forward; summer was reaching its fever pitch and waiting eagerly to tip into the beginning of fall. Time was running out, and Sole had no idea where they were going to start after their recent dead-end. 

A shape caught their eyes. Despite everyone rushing around on their morning trips to the office, there was a lone figure standing on the sidewalk across the street. Sole sat up slightly, the hairs on their arms standing up. The sixth sense they’d gained over their career was setting their spine rigid, a tingle crawling up their back and making them grit their teeth. Sole focused their eyes and took a sharp breath when they realized who they were looking at. The man of the morning, the freshly released Jim Grayson. And he was simply staring at them with that awful smile.

Their inhale snapped Nick’s eyes back to them and he immediately took in their body language. “Sole? What’s wrong?” He urged quietly.

“He’s here.”

But he wasn’t, not anymore. In the spare few moments when Nick had snapped back to attention and Sole had glanced away to reply, Grayson had disappeared. They swallowed, “Nick I swear to God he was just there. He was right there.”

“I believe you. That son of a bitch…”

The language took Sole by surprise; no matter how frustrated Nick had gotten in the past, he’d always maintained that specific detective image he had. Nick sat forward and rested his elbows on the tabletop, mug empty and shoved aside. He rubbed his hands over his face, scratching briefly at the stubble forming along his jaw before he jerked his fingers through his hair and shoved his hat back on his head. “You’re not going back home.”

“What? Nick!”

“Listen, I’m not trying to scare you, I’m trying to protect you. I wouldn’t be surprised if he already knows where you live, and with how little you’ve been sleeping sending you home would be a total disregard for your safety. We can send a patrol with you to pick up some things, but–”

“I’m not sleeping at the station. Nick, I already spend 99% of my time there, I’ll lose my mind.”

“Then you’ll stay with me.”

Sole blinked. They weren’t sure if they were more shocked by his willingness to avoid arguing or the offer he was making. They chuckled nervously, “I don’t know if that’s necessary.”

Nick sat forward. “I will not send you home to your death.”

His stare was the polar opposite of what it had been minutes later. The intensity reminded Sole of exactly why he had the reputation of being such a successful interrogator. Already broken down from lack of sleep and unwilling to pick a fight on 36 hours of sleep in a public diner with a creep potentially watching, Sole relented. “Alright, fine. You win. Better stay with you rather than the entire police department watching me sleep.”

Valentine sighed and his posture relaxed. “Thank you.”

Sole halfheartedly mock saluted. “Just following orders, boss.”

He screwed up his face. “Please never do that again.”

Sole put their hands on their hips. “I can do it.”

“Sole, it’s just not smart.”

“Well, I never said it was smart, but it needs to be done and you can’t spare anyone else.”

“I can’t spare you, either! What happens if you go out there and end up dead?”

Sole sighed and threw their hands up a little, somewhat exasperated. “Preston, think about it. You survived without me before, and you could do it again. You can’t send Sturges, because he’s too essential to putting this settlement back together. You can’t send Mama Murphy– I don’t even need to explain that one. Marcy can’t go because of Jun, and Jun can’t go because he’s got his own stuff to deal with. Curie is more indisposable than the rest of us put together. The only reason she went out last time was because no one else could. And you sure as hell can’t go. You’re the glue around here.”

Preston pressed his lips together and shook his head. “And you? You aren’t disposable here even though you seem to think you are.”

“Look, I don’t think I’m disposable, but I do think that this needs to get done and I’m the best person to do it.”

They’d been bickering on and off all day since Sturges brought up the urgency of the water purifier. They were running out of the purified water that the bunker had provided, and Sole had immediately volunteered to go scavenging for more. Sensing an argument and thinking better of sticking around, Sturges had announced that he’d let them figure it out and immediately left. 

Preston had made the mistake of indulging in theoreticals. First, he had ixnayed the idea of them scavenging at random. It was too dangerous for them to be running around at random, he’d said, and if they were going to be going anywhere it would be on the main roads to Diamond City. He considered that the safest route. Unfortunately for Preston, that was the exact moment he’d lost the argument, and he’d known it. Despite the fact that hours later they were still going back and forth about it, they both knew it was futile.

Luckily, Sole wasn’t reliant on their crutches anymore, and they had been getting their strength back to normal. Sometimes they still had bouts of muscle weakness, but it wasn’t so bad if they didn’t push themselves too hard, and they were starting to get antsy with the way everyone seemed to watch to make sure they weren’t doing too much. Preston especially. “Preston, we both know that we can’t go much longer without the parts for the water purifier. And I can get more supplies than just the parts while I’m there. We need more crop seeds. We both did inventory yesterday, you know this.”

Preston looked defeated. Thoroughly worn out, and wholeheartedly defeated. Sole knew he hadn’t been sleeping, they knew he hadn’t been eating properly so Jun and Mama Murphy could get extra, and he had been watching the water supply closer than he watched them. He needed sleep. He needed someone to step up on equal footing and take part of the burden, and unfortunately, that required pushing back and arguing, not just following every order he gave. Someone needed to take care of him the way he took care of everyone else, and Sole was there for the job.

They stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder, voice low. “I’m not doing this to be an ass or out of spite. I’m doing this because we both know it’s the only option. You’ve had me in bootcamp for a good minute here, and Curie thinks this is my new ‘top shape.’ Let me help, Preston. Let me do the right thing.”

Preston looked up and took a sharp breath before crushing them into his chest for a minute. After a tight squeeze, he pushed them away and didn’t meet their eyes. “Fine.” He didn’t seem pleased, the concern still carving lines between his brows. “I don’t like it.”

“I know, Pres’. But I’ll be alright. Always am.”

His chuckle was dry, though he nodded. “ Always defying the odds, yeah? Dammit. Let’s go talk to Sturges, then. Make sure he’s in the loop and can get you everything you need together before you go.”

Next chapter will be much longer (rough est. about 6k words) as a heads up!

[yeolmae-s]

a chanbaek analysis from a veteran exo-l

before anything else there are a few disclaimers i'd like to make:

i am writing this analysis right now because as a non exo stan i'm not into chanbaek that much anymore. of course i like them to some degree since i'm writing this and all but it's nothing in comparison to the way i felt about them two years ago. so i feel like it's easier to keep a less clouded (?) state of mind being where i'm at right now, mentally, in regards to them. i feel like i can look at things more objectively, which is why i decided to write this and share it with you all.

for all the smart asses out there, this is a ship analysis. yes, i’m reading too much into everything. that’s what an analysis is.

all translation credits goes to @/fyeah-chanyeol

i'm a chanyeol stan. this analysis will, most likely, have more information about him in comparison to baekhyun. this is simply because i consumed more content about him since he's my bias (such as magazine interviews, fancams).

i don't stan exo anymore, but it's not because of anything they did. i liked them for a long time and made a lot of different friends because of this fandom, therefore i experienced a lot of hurt, scandals, fights and didn't deal very well with many things, so i decided to leave. this didn't happen because of exo themselves and neither did it happen because of the fandom itself. it happened because of the relationships i had.

that being said, i haven't been following them closely for the past year and a half, but i still keep up with stuff a bit, although not chanbaek related stuff since i gotta dive in kinda deeper for that lmao. so this analysis is mostly in depth for 2012-2018. if anything that you perceive as significant happened after 2018 i'm more than willing to hear your opinions about it.

so, let's get started!!

MAMA ERA

I have always felt like Chanyeol and Baekhyun's relationship was strange. I started shipping them when they debuted and more specifically because of the 130128 ISAC. When I was younger I didn't see a lot to discuss in their ISAC interactions besides it being cute and shippy, but I've started to look at it differently now.

I think everyone knows how ISAC is known for being basically a stage for fanservice. The whole "dating ground for idols" issue aside, judging from the amount of attention they direct towards the fans who manage to attend the event, idols are clearly instructed to perform fanservice. EXO's first ISAC had to be full of it, obviously, and they did give fans a lot to be happy about, content we still get giddy about to this day, and I'm sure they were instructed to act like this to please us. I don't believe that fanservice equals "false interactions": if two individuals are talking, touching each other, they are interacting, even if it is a carefully planned setting made specifically for pleasing fans. They still get reactions out of one another through these interactions, it is still relevant to the way these people's relationship will develop; even though these acts are done with the intent of pleasing a crowd.

Don't get me wrong, though. I don't think the 2013 ISAC fanservice changed anything in Chanbaek's relationship. In fact, I just want to use it as a way to illustrate something I will explain later on.

To be remembered in an industry you must have an image. You won't be getting anywhere without a carefully constructed visual image. Marilyn Monroe is always used as an example of this: she's someone you can easily make a costume of and people will instantly recognize it as her. She's basically a concept by now: blonde hair, red lips and white hair. These aspects take our mind back to her instantly. Of course, most celebrities don't achieve this type of icon status, but it is still important to cling to a specific concept/image of what you want your celebrity self to be perceived as. Without this, you'll be forgotten as soon as your career ends.

When Chanyeol debuted, he clung to the first trait they gave him: being a happy person, a.k.a "happy virus". If you were not an EXO fan back in 2013 then it's likely you're not even aware of this nickname that was given to him, but it's basically just what it sounds like (lol). He was bright, energetic, had a "teeth rich" smile (another nickname that was given to him back then), was able to give 10/10 laughter reactions to MCs and to his members jokes, was always enthusiastic to interact and smile towards fans. He even introduced himself as "happy virus Chanyeol" in interviews (and later on that changed to "EXO's voice Chanyeol" or "EXO's rapper Chanyeol").

I feel like Chanyeol was very much aware of this "must have" that I mentioned, this need to have an image pasted into yourself and have that image be what people will remember you as. We're all complex and multifaceted individuals, but the general public needs something simple to grab on to, something easy to remember. That happy guy from EXO? I know who he is! I'm sure this is the path Chanyeol chose, back when he debuted: to pick a trait given to you by the public and make it a huge part of your image.

However, that image of him didn't last very long. It certainly became tiring to worry so much about how he was being perceived, to carefully construct something so his career would last, specially when his group had so many scandals and went through a sudden burst of popularity that changed their lives completely. By 2017, Chanyeol already had a change of mind in relation to his career, these changes being mostly due to how he felt about music and what he wanted to do with it.

He recognized himself as having always being impatient, which might be the reason why he clung to a specific image so fast right after debuting:

From Fall Magazine in 2017

"At the moment I just want to enjoy myself with the music as it comes, without feeling as though I have to do something. It isn’t a greed from impatience, I could call it more of a greed to do better."

"When I first debuted I thought I was very optimistic, but as time has passed I think a more reserved side of me is showing."

"I think I've grown in many ways. Maybe it’s because it’s as though I perform everyday, but the stage has become comfortable for me. Shall we say I’ve become more calm and composed? [...] I think I’ve become more mature."

He matured. He's still bright and energetic but he's also more reserved. He managed to keep up the fanservice that his fans adore in a way that is more fitting to his actual personality. It still is an image, but an image that's not as exhausting as his previous one, with its strict demands to act in a certain way all the time. I remember specific interview with MCs demanding him to smile (although jokingly, of course) saying things like "Aren't you EXO's happy virus?", so I'm sure he felt pressured.

This is interesting to think about when put side by side with his relationship with Baekhyun. Back when they debuted, Chanyeol and Baekhyun were close friends that clearly felt comfortable with each other, and it isn't surprising to think that Baekhyun would be Chanyeol's first pick when he thought about doing fanservice with someone. Of course, I can't exactly pinpoint their first fanservice moment since I'm not a walking EXO encyclopedia anymore, but I can say with certainty that both of them felt like it worked as soon as they first tried it with the fans, and that's the reason why they kept doing it. Conveniently, they were both good friends, so all was good.

Until well, it wasn't.

At some point, Chanyeol's interactions with Baekhyun seemed too eager for Baekhyun himself. There are various moments where this is visible, such as this one:

Why are you grabbing my wrist out of nowhere young man........

Or...

That one pic where Jongdae, who was in front of them, looked so damn uncomfortable I can't even bring myself to google it

Of course, they had some over the top fanservice that did work out pretty well, such as this one, both of them imitating Jonghyun's and Taemin's Internet War stage, which seems a little scripted now that I look at it properly, with Baekhyun seemingly expecting Chanyeol to do whatever it is that he did on that day. (Can you imagine this: both of them backstage, watching Jonghyun's and Taemin's performance in silence, and one of them just blurts out "We should do that too!". What the fuck was going on)

By the way, if you have never seen the original Internet War performance, you can watch it here.

This is what they were imitating.

Tumblr won’t let me upload the gifs for this moment for some reason, so here and here.

You can't tell me Baekhyun wasn't expecting it already, lol.

Now, know what this moment reminds me of? ISAC. On their Internet War imitation moment, Baekhyun seemed fine, playful, even, agreeing. During ISAC, however, doing basically the same thing again (this time on a lighter way even; since they weren't, you know. Imitating a strong performance such as Internet War.), he appears reluctant. It's a bit painful to watch.

What changed? The ISAC event happened a few months after the SMTOWN concert where they did the Internet War thing, so what made things become so different?

If this has enough likes I’ll make a second part!

[heauxplesslydevoted]

Hello hello! Here are these week's newlywed questions for Ethan x Naomi <3

Note: Once again, this week’s round focuses on photos! Dialogue is entirely optional, though for some of these, it’d be fun to know the story behind the pictures ;) Tumblr mobile only allows 10 picture uploads (there are 10 questions), so collages are highly encouraged! Otherwise, the non-beta version of Tumblr desktop will allow more than ten.

Have fun!

For MC

Favorite childhood photo of Ethan

What’s your phone wallpaper image?

Contact name and photo for Ethan

Top three photo results when you Google Ethan

First picture of or with him that you uploaded to social media

For Ethan

Favorite childhood photo of your spouse

What’s your phone wallpaper image?

Contact name and photo for your spouse

Top three photo results when you Google your spouse

First picture you ever took of or with your spouse

*Credit to the anon who sent me the first three questions!

I had a lot of fun with this weeks questions because I re-discovered my Canva account and went wild, lmao

For Naomi:

Favorite childhood photo of Ethan

Naomi: He was just so cute! And blonde!

Ethan: My dad had taken me on a fishing trip and we were very successful as you can see.

Naomi: I just love it because there aren’t a lot of happy childhood memories for my husband, so I’m glad this one was captured.

What’s your phone wallpaper image?

Naomi: This was taken on our honeymoon. And he likes to pretend he’s not a model.

Contact name and photo for Ethan

Ethan:....

Naomi: What?

Ethan: You know I don’t find your fascination with calling me a sugar daddy nearly as amusing as you do.

Naomi: Half of the hospital thinks I’m sticking around for your money, I might as well have some fun with it.

Top three photo results when you Google Ethan

Naomi: Ever since he’s become Chief, publications have been beating down our door for interviews. Bottom left corner was his first magazine since taking over. I’m married to a celebrity.

Ethan: I’m not a celebrity.

Naomi: You guys see how humble he is? It’s adorable.

Naomi: The top one is on some blog that Bryce and I found a few weeks ago.

Ethan: How on earth did they get that picture of me?

Naomi: They probably lifted it from my Pictagram page.

Ethan:...why did you post this picture on your Pictagram?

Naomi: Back to the subject at hand, they listed you as the number two hottie. Bryce was annoyed because he was number three.

Ethan: Well, who was number one?

Naomi: Tobias, obviously.

Ethan: Obviously? Is there something you want to tell me?

Naomi: I love and only have eyes for you, mon amour.

Ethan: You better. And I don’t even remember taking the last picture.

Naomi: I do. Leland and Caroline hosted a charity event last year and he demanded that the entire hospital attend.

Ethan: What was the charity?

Naomi: I don’t know. I made a donation on our behalf, though.

First picture of or with him that you uploaded to social media

For Ethan:

Favorite childhood photo of your spouse.

Naomi: I hope our future children get my eyebrows.

Ethan: I hope they get your everything.

What’s your phone wallpaper image?

Naomi: Ethan’s two favorite things: me and dark liquor. That was taken on the balcony of the condo, right?

Ethan: Yes ma’am.

Naomi: Oh I remember that night! Let’s just say my hair and makeup didn’t stay that way for long.

Contact name and photo for your spouse.

Naomi: I genuinely believe it is sociopathic and dark spirited that there are no cute nicknames. Just plain ole’ ‘Naomi R’. Not even my full last name. He won’t even let me put emojis!

Ethan: It’s short and to the point. There’s no need for anything else. I think I should maintain a modicum or professionalism seeing as I’m the chief of medicine.

Top three photo results when you Google your spouse.

Ethan: The first picture is from the night she gave her first keynote speech for the American Medical Association. The second picture is from a mass voter registration event that Edenbrook hosted a few years back.

Naomi: I’m pretty sure that picture ended up on the front page of the newspaper..

Ethan: And I’m not the only popular person in the Ramsey household. The last picture is from Naomi’s own first magazine cover.

Naomi: My mom was so excited, she bought 10 copies.

Ethan: I bought every copy in the city of Boston.

First picture you ever took of or with your spouse

Naomi: I’ve never seen this picture before.

Ethan: It was during one of our first dates. You said there was and I quote “good selfie lighting”.

Naomi: I wonder if I still have have selfie on my phone. I remember that day, and I was right. The lighting was excellent.

[3amcappuccino]

Friendly reminder this is an mmd model/pmx model

“The world adores me!”

Asmodeus, avatar of pain and suffering. just kidding >:0. The amount of struggles I went with Asmo??? Way too much. I was gonna release her two days ago, for my birthday lmao, but noooooo I had to add 69 morphs because haha 69. I was also very busy with life and stuff but now I have even less time to work on the next one,,, Basically I lost my mind with Asmo and she might be a bit glitchy. It was my first time actually making coat physics so I hope it’s not too bad (I mean it doesn’t look half bad...). The pass is different this time around and you need to go through ladies night’s tumblr to find Asmo’s cup size. hah. don’t ask. The amount of times I uploaded the file on mediafire because I would always see something that bothered me was so much that I decided to take the time to also make the hands similar to TDA, YYB etc. please send help.

I wish I was a confident queen like Asmo... 

:(

I don’t want to write this anymore but I’ll feel bad if I write something bad for Asmo since I love them a lot. Fun Fact: I write these normally when I don’t even have a preview of the model so I just put on a random image that I have saved and sometimes I’ll think that I would accidentally post the post with the wrong image and disown myself.

Asmo best girl

Oi @midnight-moodlet here’s ya girl

Stupid circle eye morph thing is dumb I don't think I'm ever gonna do it again

I DON’T WANT TO POSE HANDS EVER AGAIN   

Scarf clips like crazy but when I tried to fix it I accidentally exploded the model so I’ll fix that at a later date. There is also I believe a normal issue with the coat but I’ll also try to fix it at a later date because I don’t want to delay her further...

I’m so dumb cause I closed my tab while writing so it didn’t save so I needed to write everything again, more time lost...

The design belongs to @boxbusiness and there is an ask blog with the name @obeyme-ladiesnight if you're curious

Details and download under cut!

C R E D I T S  F O R  P R E V I E W 

Asmodeus by 3AM Cappuccino (still me!)

Stage by 小怪物爱吃柚子

Effects by:

          ⇒ Ray-cast by Rui

          ⇒ KiraKira sparkle by chestnutscoop and BeammanP

          ⇒ FXAA by Rui

          ⇒ Light-Bloom by Rui (I’m not even sure if I used this the program closed itself...

          ⇒ Filmgrain by Rui 

S I M P L E  E X T R A S/C H A N G E S

Replaced facial morphs

Added basic facial morphs found in TDA models and YYB

           ⇒ Morph inspirations did come from TDA models so you can use the model in multiple expressive motions!

Asmo has 69 morphs, lmao I wanted to add enough and do a little gift for you guys with more morphs

Extra facial morphs (like tears, heart eyes, etc.)

C R E D I T S  F O R  M O D E L

Body, face, top and Accesories by Vroid and 3AMCappuccino

Jacket made by SumireHaikuXNA and PeachMilk3D (It's heavily edited as you can tell)

Shorts made by Tehrainbowllama

Spas by AceYoen and Vroid

R U L E S

Credit 3AMCappuccino when using

Don't claim it's yours.

Don't redistribute

Tag me when using (Optional but I'll still love to see what you did!)

P R O H I B I T E D X

Don't claim as your own

Don't sell or trade the model

Don't take the body and head swap

A C C E P T A B L E ✓

Editing is fine

               (the model can clip and glitch sometimes so if you can fix it, contact me so I can update the link and I can credit you as well!)

Taking parts is good but ask first

               ⇒ When taking parts from the other credited, take the original, not my edited version, (I can give guidance though)

               ⇒ Another exception would be the earrings and scarf that was made by me, so instead ask me first before taking if you want be the earrings and/or scarf (p.s. don't take the earrings they are super heavy whoops, took them from another one of my models yet here I am without decimating)

V I D E O  P R E V I E W

D O W N L O A D

[espoir-et-reves]

hi maria!!!

i LOVE your work and wanna pick your brain :)) for the writing asks:

1, 2, 4, 5, 8, 10, 11, 13, 20, 32, 35, & 39

hope your day is going well!!!!! <3333

Yooo Nadia what’s up?? No, nope I LOVE YOURS and I’d let you pick my brain but I doubt you’d make much sense of the chaos in there. Even I don’t 😂😂 okay so on with the q&a

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction? 

Hmm I think I started reading fanfiction when I was in middle school? I’m pretty sure the first few fanfics I ever read were Harry Potter and Supernatural fics. I was SO into those fandoms back then (still am tbh)

The first fics I wrote were in high school if I remember correctly. Harry Potter and k-pop, more precisely a few EXO x reader fics lmao

2. How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?

It depends on the day I think. On some days I have no motivation to write, so I just lose myself in reading fanfics. Other days I spend hours upon hours of writing and doing research for my fanfics, wips and YA stories. 

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

Just three??? Blasphemous but okay...

Daughter of Fire by the amazing @justjstuff -- one of my TOP favorite KakaSaku fics and also Naruto fanfics in general. Always makes my day when I see an update^^

Deep Within the Trees; Under the Boughs & Blossoms by candy_floss_consumer (I’m sorry I don’t know if they’re on tumblr) The entire series of a Different Wave is just so magical and so well written but especially this one. Gave me chills on every single chapter.

Take your pick between The Shadows of Your Heart and Dying Embers by @riseoftheblossom-ff . Just amazing.

Also take a pick from your fics. I love them^^

(I only listed fics from the Naruto fandom, because I’ve been more invested in them for the past couple of years.)

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

I HATE a huge block of just words. Please, people, change paragraphs, use “ ” when someone’s talking and for the love of everything you find holy, do tell us who is thinking what and who is speaking when there are more than two characters in a scene. 

The lack of paragraphs especially drives me mad... like I don’t care if it’s the best story I may ever read, I’m not doing it, sorry.

Thank you, sincerely Maria❤

8. How often do you reblog/comment on fics that you like?

Not as often as I should tbh. Especially before I began uploading my fics, I was too shy to leave a review. Still am, but I’m trying to leave comments more often bc I understand how much they can lift the writer’s mood. 

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Favorite fandoms: Naruto, Supernatural, Harry Potter, The Mortal Instruments

Favorite pairings: I’m a MultiSaku hoe so I read EVERYTHING, Dean/Castiel + Meg/Castiel, Draco/Hermione, Magnus/Alec!!

Favorite character: BAMF Sakura, Cas my little angel baby, Hermione bc we love BAMF witches and Magnus Bane the High Warlock of Brooklyn y’all✨

11. How do you come up with your fic titles?

Hahahhahahahha good question. It’s the hardest thing tbh. Sometimes I just google for a title generator, other times I sit down for a couple hours and beg for my brain to come up with something good...

13. Do you outline your fics? How much of a headache would someone get if they just looked at an outline of yours without reading the fic?

*snorts* not just a headache, it’ll be a damn explosion. I do have a rough outline for my fics, I even have the major scenes I want in a chapter written down and an ending and all that. Thing is... my mind hates me and I change everything at least three times, so I decided to just go with the flow. 

20. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Honestly? just the fact that I’m writing. Especially when my brain wants to work with me and creativity just hits. I also enjoy doing research for my fics, but more often than not, it leads to distractions because I fall too into whatever I’m searching for😂

32. Copy and paste your top three favorite lines/jokes/sentences you’ve ever written. What fics do they come from?

“He didn’t smile back at me,” Sakura pouted and stabbed the rabbit meat on her plate with unnecessary force. --- A running joke in A Tale of Songs and Ashes is that Sakura has vowed to make Madara smile at her and she tries to get a reaction out of him every time they meet. This line started everything. 

Across from him Shikamaru was smoking a cigarette, lazily observing the people around him. The sharp look he received from said boy though had him taken aback. He followed the Nara’s eyes landing on Sakura and Sasuke, before turning back to him. Shikamaru shook his head, resigned and offered Neji a cigarette.

“I don’t smoke,” he replied.

Shikamaru shrugged, “It could help with the homicidal thoughts.” --- This interaction basically is one of my favorites from Nightstrolls because it kinda highlights Neji’s and Shika’s frienship in the fic and the fact that Shikamaru often makes fun of Neji’s crush on Sakura.

Gai’s laughter filled the air around them, “What a youthful child! Shisui-kun I didn’t know Uchiha came out in spring colours as well!” --- From Trials of Change I don’t think it needs an explanation. Gai just being Gai😂

35. How much has writing fic changed your life?

Oh so damn much! I think it’s the only thing that kept me from falling apart during quarantine and the COVID-19 crisis. Writing really helped my mental health when it comes to dealing with all the stress and even members of my family falling ill and dying. 

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

Uh, I don’t know? My readers usually tell me that I have an interesting way of writing -- whatever that means. So since they like it, I do as well? 

Also, I try to make the characters more realistic, give them backstories and emotions and hobbies etc. I like that😊

Thank you so much for your questions!! Sending you lots of love💕

[jaegerboob]

WIP ROUNDUP!!

i was tagged by @trashpocket​ (hey bae ;)) and since im lonely here on tumblr and have no one but the void to yell at, i won’t be tagging anyone :((

okay let’s start off with my published WIPS lol i have quite a collection and boy do i regret posting most of these, but anyway that’s here’s my hot girl shit

"i’ll figure it out with a little more time” - (if u knew me at my thai BL phase no u didn’t :)) anyways this was a supposed to be a pretty short fic that features an oblivious Sarawat not knowing how to navigate his feelings towards Tine and Tine being an equally giant dumbass. their school is hosting a school dance and Sarawat’s emotionally constipated ass doesn’t know how to SPEAK and just ASK Tine to go w/ him. i swear i might be the author of this story but i also get mad at these fuckers

“we’re boyfriends?” - ah yes another Thai BL fic, i will admit. i have NO idea where to take this story lmao. i still wanna finish it tho cuz i hate disappointing ppl. the fic starts with Ae and Pond making a dumb bet so Pond will stop jerking off in their shared room and promises that he won’t do that as long Ae dates someone random and based off of Pond’s choosing. sweet bby Pete wanders into their campus accidentally  and gets picked. Ae does the deed and tells Pete they’re dating. Ae thinks that Pete and Pond are scheming to make his life a living hell but lo and behold Pete has actually fallen in love with him (heheheh) 

“i wanna ruin our friendship” - hello lgbtq+ community :). we all know where this fuckin title is from don’t be sneaky. so here’s my KilluGon college fic. I initially wrote this like two years ago and uploaded it on wattpad lmaooo then i edited it and posted on ao3 and once again i have no idea where to take this (ive forgotten what my original idea for this was lol) so basically Killua and Gon are really close friends and Gon is sortof a player in this AU idk why khdkadha but anywayz all of Gon’s exes have left him bc they’re jealous of Killua but Gon would never pick his current S/O over him so HAAA. it all goes to shit tho when Retz decides to trick Gon to taking her back for the school dance and idk what path to go for T_T 

AIGHT now for my UNPUBLISHED WIPS buckle up yall this is a LOT. all the titles are WIPS so that’s why theyre iffy lol

“pussy talented”- (don’t mind the title lmao i just wanted a cat pun in there somewhere) basically, Bokuto is a firefighter and Akaashi an editor. They work near each other and Bokuto often visits Kuroo, who works with Akaashi. Ofc Akaashi falls in love at first sight but then he overhears that he has a "Kenma" waiting for him at home. Akaashi assumes that he's probably Bo's boyfriend and then leaves him alone, making Bo confused as hell. Little that he knows that Kenma is actually a grumpy calico cat.

“killugon flower shop AU�� - Wing owns a flower shop and Killua helps out with Zushi along with Alluka out of boredom and one day Alluka asks Killua to help out with her client then he meets Gon and is immediately smitten until Gon says that he's looking for something that he can give to a girlfriend (it was actually Ging's request lol), lots of misunderstanding, Killua being too shy to ask the handsome stranger out and Alluka and Zushi being done with his shit 

“rice isn’t the only thing getting crushed here” - Osamu falls in love with one of his most loyal costumers—Akaashi and he thinks he might just have a shot at it until one day while Akaashi is ordering a bunch of riceballs, Bokuto Koutaro of Japan's National Volleyball team enters the restaurant and sweeps Akaashi of his feet, unexpected angst and a generous helping of unrequited pining :)) dw this fic can go two ways: Bokuto is just Akaashi's best friend who he hasn't seen in months or b. Bokuto is actually Akaashi's fiance maybe i’ll write both endings heehee

“killua is sad and gets lovebombed” - while staying in Whale Island, Killua thinks he that he doesn't deserve Gon and tries to leave him while he's asleep but his plan is stopped when Gon wakes up and they both end up revealing their true feelings for each other

“excuse to write charles getting fucked by two delicious men” - Erik and Charles have been in a relationship for years now and basically fell out of love so when Erik gets promoted and has to move, Charles agrees and so they break up. Charles turns to Logan (who harbors a giant crush on Charles) for companionship and sleep together once. Logan says it was an accident but Charles wants more and they establish a FWB situation of sorts since Charles isn't ready yet. But then Charles gets into an accident and can't remember what happened the past year and a half so he still thinks he's with Erik. Meanwhile, Erik is living a luxurious yet empty life and when he gets the call from Raven about Charles' situation, he immediately goes back running.

“killua in whale island” - KilluGon are like 20-ish and Killua visits Whale Island and Ging just happens to be there as well. Killua thinks about how even though Gon and Ging are near identical, Gon just looks so much more handsome. (probs just a oneshot) 

 “another horny cherik fic” - Charles is a demon who was accidentally summoned when Raven, Hank and Ororo uses Erik's blood to perform a demon summoning ritual (as a joke) they didn't know it would actually work so now Charles is stuck with Erik because the human absolutely refuses to sell his soul

“IwaOi overboard AU” - Oikawa is a rich pretty boy and Iwa a college dropout who works at his uncle's repair shop with his younger brother Tobio and cousin Kyoutani ( both 5 yrs old). One day he gets called over to fix one of Oikawa's cars and after a failed and disastrous encounter with a drunk Oikawa, Iwa leaves the mansion fuming. Later in the day, it's discovered that Oikawa got in a car crash that took away his memories and since Oikawa apparently lives alone, he has no one to get him. not until Iwa comes ofc and with a malicious and vengeful intent, he tells Oikawa that they're dating and live together in his crappy apartment

“dancer Akaashi” - Akaashi is a dancer, Osamu is a bartender at the bar he works at and has also been in love with Akaashi for the past two years. He doesn't confess since he knows Akaashi doesn't like romance but then enters a bright eyed cheery Bokuto who sweeps the unreachable Midnight Moon off of his feet, bokuaka but im leaning towards bokuosaaka since akaashi deserves two boyfriends

“watch me be poetically horny for Akaashi Keiji” - Akaashi is a vampire and Osamu, a skilled artist. Akaashi posing nude and delighted at how beautifully Osamu portrays him. Osamu says otherwise. 

Cherik College AU - drift by great gable.... late teens cherik... Erik being a misanthropic horny bastard and Charles a snarky piece of shit.... they get paired up for 7 minutes in heaven... turns out Charles has been ogling him for a while now..  hmmmm,,,.,. ( i wrote this when i was drunk and my og draft is too long so take this instead lolz) 

“ BokuAka (NSFW) ” - Bokuto pushing off a guy who tried to hit on Akaashi while they're at a club. Akaashi gets so turned on he immediately drags Bokuto to the bathroom where he gets his facefucked in one of the bathroom stalls or Akaashi getting his face fucked in a dirty alley at the back of a bar after Bokuto gets into a fistfight.

“KuroKen (NSFW)  ” -Kenma does top during sex but but he's just really lazy to put in the effort 

aight that’s it oh damn i just now realize how much i have T-T bruhhhhhhh and this isn’t even all of them damnnn 

[korusalka]

hallo! im studying german and i was wondering.. you got any podcast/music/movie/youtuber/comic/book recs? anything will do but i understand if your too busy to give any! danke und schönen tag

Hallooo, mein/e liebe/r Anon! :) Of course I can give you some recs! Not for learning German necessarily because I have no clue which level you’re on, but I’ll gladly link you some stuff I personally like. Beware, long post.

Tumblr

First and foremost, some of us hang around on here and speak German and fight each other over Aldi Nord and Pfannkuchen. A lot of German tumblr users follow @official-mutti @official-deutschtuerke @official-deutschebahn @official-bremen @germanshitposting @official-deutschland and so on and so on and so on lmao

Podcasts/Audiobooks

Das Kalenderblatt - Bayerischer Rundfunk (short ~5 min anecdotes that go like “what happened on this day 76 years ago though”, very soothing, love to use them as introduction snippets in German class :))

Eine Stunde History - Deutschlandfunk Nova (30-40 minute episodes about (inter)national history, you can for example choose topics you already know about and focus on the explanation in German)

Deutschlandfunk.de (that radio channel’s official website! Click on Mediathek or Podcasts to choose between really short audioclips or longer ones, depending on whatever topic tickles your fancy)

Music

Alligatoah - German singer/rapper who writes genius songs, genius puns, and his very own genius videos. Many of his songs are sarcastic, undermine clichés, or poke fun at mentalities. Due to the sheer amount of puns the songs are rarely translateable, but if you want to see some of the best lyrics in recent German music, this is definitely a household name.

Seeed - Longtime favourite. Famous for “they arrived, they got a bunch of awards, they fucked off”. But no, they’re still active. Wrote absolute bangers, I linked you a classic that EVERY German knows. There’s a new album. Pretty much every song includes an English verse. Also famous for their very specific mix of genres, which stems from their highly international roots. Big upside: They upload complete concerts. One of their lead singers, Peter Fox, had an also super famous solo career.

Moop Mama - urban brass band, upbeat, perfect for mornings

Faber - Swiss-German band, usually sung in standard German though. Sarcastic like this one! A little provocative like this one!

Wanda - Austrian band. You can hear that they’re Austrian, but it’s still understandable. This is an absolute banger everyone below 30 knows, they’ve got a few of these. Nostalgic, on endless loop on endlessly hot summer nights when you drape yourself on a window sill and yearn.

Clueso - I’ve loved this man since elementary school. Easy pop, easy lyrics (beware of his occasional tic to ignore grammar lmao), aged well, which is to say he didn’t. He’s a cryptid. He’s our soft pop princess cryptid.

Cro - Now that’s one of our mainstream rap/pop princesses. He doesn’t ever take his panda bear mask off. Has a large following among teens & (young) adults. If you like his style, his name is going to link to many other household names!

Sophie Hunger - Swiss diplomat’s daughter, she makes music in English, German, French, & Swiss German. This is my favourite German one of hers, she makes very upbeat ones too though.

AnnenMayKantereit - BIG among teens and young adults. BIG. Your typical college student band, except they fill huge arenas at this point. Famous for the frontman’s super recognizable voice. Soft, nostalgic, about friends, about love, about yearning to belong to someone, somewhere, or anywhere at all. This song makes me cry.

this also looks like a solid playlist that will give you all the German bangers from every genre there is, even and especially Schlager, which is a tragedy but #german culture

Movies I’ve actually watched, The Lives of Others is supposed to be very good but I haven’t watched it yet RIP

Sad Useless Millennials: Oh Boy (2012),  Was nützt die Liebe in Gedanken (2004)

Hi We’re German We Only Know One Topic: Der Untergang (2004), Comedian Harmonists (1997), Sophie Scholl - Die letzten Tage (2005) , Er ist wieder da (2015, definitely on Netflix, read the book first if possible)

smart movies: Die Welle (2008), Who Am I - Kein System ist sicher (2015), Der Medicus (2013)

Iconic and Fairytaley: Krabat (2008), Das Parfum - Die Geschichte eines Mörders (2006), Drei Nüsse für Aschenbrödel (1973) (binational movie)

classic bangers that swept the streets: Good Bye, Lenin! (2003),  Vincent Will Meer (2010), Der Schuh des Manitu (2001), (T)Raumschiff Surprise - Periode 1 (2004)

TV shows which should all be on Netflix for example

BABYLON BERLIN (2017 - ), so damn great, third season is airing

Dark (2017 -)

Parfum (2018 -), haunting but creepy as fuck, also massive trigger warnings

Charité (2017 -)

Youtube/public TV we’re watching on YouTube anyway

#MeetTheGermans - this playlist is hosted by a woman who speaks great German and teaches you a lot of insider culture. Funny & entertaining. The comment section is crawling with Germans who feel very called out, but in a good way. The main channel is the Deutsche Welle, a news channel well-suited for people who are learning about Germany.

Jan Böhmermann’s stuff - basically our John Oliver, but mean. Got famous because the Turkish president wanted to kneecap him. Teaches you a lot about German culture that regular courses will not. His longrunning show Neo Magazin Royale ended last year, the new one is called Prism Is A Dancer. JB does lots of stuff mostly related to satire, just fall down YouTube, there’s lots of songs and clips and whatnot.

Loriot, a famous German comedian, very specific German humour, some of these have subs

EDEKA ads because they’re iconic [x] [y] [z]

Berlin’s public transport wants to become world heritage

German books

Florian Illies: 1913 (definitely available in German, but I think this goes for many of these books)

Patrick Süskind - Das Parfum

Bernhard Schlink - Der Vorleser

Franz Kafka - Der Prozess

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - Die Leiden des jungen Werthers

Thomas Mann - Der Tod in Venedig

Erich Maria Remarque - Im Westen nichts Neues

Wolfgang Herrndorf - Tschick

Gebrüder Grimm: Märchen

Friedrich Dürrenmatt - Der Besuch der alten Dame

Jurek Becker - Jakob der Lügner

basically everything by Walter Moers for fantasy nuts, I love him

German poets

Rainer Maria Rilke

Joachim Ringelnatz

Joseph von Eichendorff

Heinz Erhardt

Erich Kästner

Hit me up if you need any details! Ich wünsche dir auch einen schönen Tag :D

[darlingrutherford]

Back in October, I received an ask about Lana and Alistair sharing Cullen, which prompted me to think about what circumstances would have to happen in order for that to work in my DA canon. I started thinking about it deeply, which has turned into a lot of posts and, in November, I started working on the story version of how that would play out (or, rather, what would spark that first spicy encounter between Lana and Cullen, which could make way for more spicy encounters). I hit a rather big writer’s block on it (like most of my writing, thanks CFS) and was stuck writing a line here or there every week or so, but all this talk recently with @jellysharkbat​ about Cullanistair sparked something in my brain and I finally FINISHED IT. 

This ended up being way longer than I had originally planned lmao. So, I’m uploading to Ao3 as well if you’d rather read on there since they format a bit better than Tumblr. Enjoy!!

Healing | Cross-posted on Ao3 | Alistair Theirin/Lana Surana/Cullen Rutherford | DA:I | Explicit - trauma, PTSD, referenced non-con, sex | 18+ only, please!

     “You look exhausted.” 

The words flowed from her tongue easily enough. The past few months that she and Alistair had been at Skyhold putting together the pieces for the cure had found her and Cullen becoming even more comfortable around one another than back when she was a mage at Kinloch. As such, Lana hadn’t been expecting the almost put off glance from Cullen as his eyebrow quirked at her accusation, and her eyes widened as she quickly followed up her comment, silently wishing she could suck the words back in. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean - It’s just, you seemed like you were almost falling asleep there for a moment.”

Cullen sighed as his expression relaxed in understanding. He leaned back in his chair, his eyes returning to the chess board in front of them before his hand quickly dragged against his face in an attempt to wake up.

“My apologies,” he said. He leaned forward, moving one of his templars on the board to take her pawn. “I have not been sleeping well these past few nights.” 

“Is it the withdrawals still?” Lana asked. She kept her voice down when she asked the question, knowing full well that Cullen still had yet to make it known to many that his withdrawals were apt to keep him up at night. The corner of Cullen’s mouth quirked in a short lived smile as Lana pondered her move. 

“Those have not been as frequent as they once were, thankfully.” He paused as he contemplated his next words, the silence between them filled by the sound of crows as they flew above to Leliana’s tower. When he finally spoke, he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I wake up more often, because of the memories.”

Lana nodded in silent understanding. She knew well what Cullen was referring to: of Kinloch, of the torture he had endured for days before she, Alistair, and their friends had rescued him and the few left alive by Uldred and the other blood mages who had taken over the Circle Tower. He had uncomfortably explained it to her weeks after she and Alistair had arrived at Skyhold together months ago, something he couldn’t have avoided when the initial sight of Lana had brought all those memories screaming back to him in his waking hours. Cullen had forced himself to make time for her, to help his mind realize the difference between her and the memory of the demon who used her image to torture him so many long years ago, but also for her. Lana’s guilt when he had eagerly left the room the first time had been clear as day, and Cullen knew she had no need to harbor it. Lana had saved his life, had protected the others he had so quickly wanted to condemn in his hysteria. She was not the same as the nightmares he so frequently experienced in his sleep. So they had spent time together ever since, talking through the past and making way towards the supportive friendship that had quickly grown between the two of them. 

“I still have nightmares from my childhood. Vivid ones, of the night my mother died.” Lana leaned forward, moving one of her rooks before sitting back. Her hand came up to tug at the end of her long braid, fingers pulling at the loose copper strands. “I used to have them every night, back when I was first taken to the templars. I went days without sleeping once, hoping that if I went long enough they’d never return.”

“I remember you being caught once after curfew, sitting in the hall,” Cullen said. A faint smile grew on his face as he looked at Lana when a laugh escaped her at the memory. “Knight-Commander Gregoir threatened to cut off your library access because of it, since you spent so many hours there, but First Enchanter Irving talked him out of it.”

“The only time I ever got caught,” she laughed. “The apprentices who slept near me would chastise me until I’d leave to calm down after one of them. I was too loud, apparently. They weren’t nightly by then, but they did occur every week at the least. They were still awful when I first left Kinloch for the Wardens. I’m grateful they’re not as frequent now. A couple times a month, perhaps.”

“What helped?” He wasn’t looking at the board at this point. His eyes were focused on Lana, watching her as she stared off at a nearby shrub as if it held all the answers in the world. 

“Time,” she finally said after a brief pause. “Time, and a lot of help. I blamed myself for my mother’s death. If I hadn’t come into my magic, she may still be… Well, but I know now that it wasn’t my fault. It took a long time for me to realize that, and I couldn’t have done it alone. That, and…”

Cullen waited for a response that didn’t come. Lana had closed her mouth, her cheeks turning pink. Cullen tilted his head, curiosity on his face.

“And… What?” He casually asked. 

“Well… I…. Had a trigger, for the memories when awake… Kind of like how they came back for you suddenly when you first saw me arrive. The nightmares were mostly in my sleep, but also, whenever I used magic… It was like I could hear her again in my head, screaming. The nightmares got worse the more darkspawn we came across, the more I had to fight. I hated my magic and what it represented.”

“I assume you no longer loathe it, if your dreams have calmed so much?” Cullen asked. Lana nodded her head quietly. She chewed on her lower lip as she returned her gaze to the board in front of them. Taking his cue, Cullen moved his templar once more. Truth be told, he was more focused on their conversation at that point than the game between them. “How did you accomplish that?”

“We… Alistair figured, if I used my magic and something good came out of it, that my reaction may change. I always used magic out of self defense, to kill darkspawn and such. He suggested that using magic for another person who would have a good reaction to it, that I would think of that instead of my mother by association. He’s a smart man. It definitely worked, the more we tried it.”

“That is fortunate that you had a way to disassociate from those memories,” Cullen said. “Healing magic can be very helpful, especially for those who fight darkspawn so often, I would assume.”

“It, well… Wasn’t all that we did.”

“I can’t imagine there are many other kinds of magic that wouldn’t be harmful to the recipient?” Cullen raised his gaze to look at Lana, noticing the pink that had spread to her ears as she cleared her throat.

“Alistair is… very receptive to it, if, um… You know, it’s controlled….”

“I see.” Cullen’s face had gone red the moment he realized what she meant. The two of them averted their gazes from the other, both intensely staring at the chess board as if their game had suddenly become just that more serious. They went through a few exchanged moves in silence, waiting for the awkwardness to tide over - as if it ever could - before Lana spoke again.

“Do you think this has helped you at all? Us, spending time like this together.”

“I haven’t had any feelings of those memories when I am around you in quite a while, so I would say, yes, it has helped considerably,” Cullen said. Lana seemed to visibly relax at his words as a warm smile grew on her face. 

“Is there anything else I could do to help redirect those memories?”

Cullen watched her as she moved her templar, taking his. The redness was returning to his face rapidly, well aware that she had no idea of the gritty details of the torture that involved her likeness. As Lana looked up and saw the almost shocked expression mixed with color on his face, her eyes widened again.

“Maker, I’m sorry, Cullen, I didn’t mean to make you think about it,” she said quickly in a mumble. “Do you want me to leave?”

“What? N - No, I… It’s, um…”

“I just, I know you said that a demon took the form of me. I don’t know what was said, what was done… Sometimes playing out a memory and changing the outcome, we’ve found it really helps me - Andraste silence me, I’m just making it worse, aren’t I?” 

Cullen swallowed, forcing his eyes back to the board as he tried to formulate what to say. Maker, what could he say in a situation like this? Cullen’s boyish crush on the young, red-headed circle mage was a memory long since passed. Of course she was still beautiful - more so now, if it was even possible - but he had moved on... Hadn’t he? Besides, she was with Warden Alistair, and quite happily by the looks of it. But still, for her to be suggesting without knowing what she was suggesting…

“It’s… It’s not that simple, unfortunately,” he stammered out.

“Are you afraid of what might happen? That I’ll hurt you?”

“What? No, I’m - I’m not afraid of you, it’s… Maker’s breath, I was tempted, tortured by your likeness, Lana. Touches, and - and, visions of so… so much more… You have no idea what you… what you’re offering, or how I will… how I would... ”

Their chess game was all but forgotten at this point. Cullen’s breathing had become heavy, his grip on the armrests of his chair tight. He had turned his gaze sharply to the side, staring at the stone wall beside them as he tried to hold back the emotions that threatened to break through his usually strong resolve. Lana sat there quietly across from him, sadness filling her as she watched Cullen all but break in front of her, like a teacup slowly hitting the hard ground. Minutes went by and, once Cullen had allowed a few heavy breaths to sigh from him and the color had calmed in his cheeks, Lana finally spoke.

“What if we tried?” She asked. Cullen looked at her incredulously, and she smiled softly. “Nothing has to happen. A completely safe environment. We wouldn’t do anything more than you felt comfortable doing. You would be in control this time. No demons.”

“What about Alistair?” Cullen asked quietly, the question surprising himself. Maker, but was he actually considering this? Lana’s laughter surprised him even further.

“Alistair won’t mind. He’ll probably encourage it, once I explain. He should be there, too. So you have someone else reassuring you who doesn’t embody the face of your memories.”

“I… I’m not sure if… You actually think it would help?” Maker help him, he was considering it.

“It helped me a lot.” Lana nodded. “It wouldn't hurt to try, right?”

“I don’t… think you realize just how… How far some of it went.” Cullen’s throat had gone dry, his voice a bit raspy.

“Alistair enjoys sharing me, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Lana said. She placed her closed hand gently against her lips, laughing lightly at the look that spread on Cullen’s face. “Believe me, he enjoys it. He often joins in. Although, obviously, he doesn’t have to. This would be about you, Cullen. About helping you. If reliving all that without the bad helps you sleep better at night, I’d be happy to do it. Just think about it. No pressure.”

      No pressure. The words had left her so simply, so unironically, as if this wouldn’t be one of the more difficult things for Cullen to consider. It would sound perfect on paper, he was sure: taking a moment of trauma and reliving it with the ability to strike out what had gone wrong. Of course, he couldn’t strike it all out. There would always be the memories he couldn’t rewrite: of his friends, murdered in front of him after hours of torture; of the mages who trapped him and cut him before sending a demon to play with his mind. But she was there, in Skyhold - the mage he had secretly pined for all those years ago. The very person whose visage had been used to torment him again, and again, as they played her in his mind the way he had always wanted her back then: touching him, kissing him, just as he had imagined it might be, only for her to transform into the demon once more before they tortured him some more. If he had a chance to rewrite even just one part of it… After this long of trying to run from it all, he owed it to himself to try. After all the guilt she had felt since the moment she had rescued him only for him to look at her as if she had been the one to do it, he owed it to her.

“I’d say you won’t even know I’m here, but… I think we all know that would be a lie,” Alistair chuckled. 

The three of them sat in a small room, the one Alistair and Lana had been staying in since they had arrived three months ago. Lana had suggested Cullen pick the location once he had agreed to their meeting, wanting him to feel safe wherever they were - one more way for him to be in control of the setting. Of course Cullen had his own room, but the hole in the roof and the possibility of interruptions was much too high. At least Lana would be comfortable in her own room, he had told himself. 

“Don’t listen to him,” Lana sighed with a smile. She wasn’t wearing her usual blue armor that day. She sat at the edge of the bed, a tunic much too large for her hanging to her knees and breeches covering her legs. Alistair had gone without much of his armor as well, lounging in a comfy chair near the window and looking quite relaxed about the whole situation. Cullen felt a mess inside and, after the way he had blunderingly discarded his armor as he realized he was much too overdressed between the other two, he was quite sure his anxiousness was apparent as he sat in a chair near the small desk at the wall. 

“I’m teasing, of course,” Alistair said with a smile. “But, not really, at the same time. I’m here for moral support. I know things like this aren’t always easy. It wasn’t difficult for me to redirect Lana when her memories became triggered early on, but, then, I wasn’t the focus of that memory. It’ll seem awkward in the beginning, I’m sure, seeing me in the corner, watching you canoodle with my wife -”

“Alistair…”

“What? You can’t expect me not to.” Alistair grinned at Lana as she rolled her eyes at him. “What I was trying to say is: I’m not going to deck you off of her at any point, unless you’re hurting her, of course. We’re all adults. Or, at least, that’s what I tell myself. Anyway, it’ll get less awkward, and we have all the time in the world. So, chop chop, get at it, have fun you two.”

“Maker’s breath.” Cullen groaned as he buried his face in his hands. 

“Ignore him,” Lana said lightly. Cullen looked up as he felt her hands on his, pulling gently as she uncovered his face. She wasn’t much taller than him in that moment, even with him sitting and slouching the way he was. It had been one of the first things he had ever noticed about her, how easy she would have been to hold in his arms. “Focus on me. Now, tell me… How did the demon tempt you with me?”

“I….” Cullen trailed off. He tried his best to keep his eyes on her, but he steadily found it more and more difficult as the memories threatened to return to him.

“I know it’s hard to talk about,” Lana said after a moment of silence. “Maybe start with the first thing?”

“You… I mean, it… When the deception began, the vision… I thought I had awoken in the tower by myself. I had almost thought they left, and then… I saw you. I mean… Not you, but…”

“Take your time, Cullen, it's all right.”

“I don’t want you to… To feel like you have to do this.”

“I wouldn’t have offered this to just anyone, Cullen. You and I have a connection that is unfortunate in one large aspect, and that’s Uldred. Let’s remove him from the equation.”

Cullen took a deep breath and nodded before continuing. 

“You crouched next to me on the floor. I tried to warn you of what had happened, but you told me all was well. That we were alone. It had all been some awful dream. You touched my face…”

Cullen froze as Lana touched his cheek. First her fingertips, gentle and slightly cool to the touch. Then they slid to hold him, the calluses on her hand from years of wielding her staff rubbing softly as they went. Lana rested her hand there, giving Cullen a small and encouraging smile.

“How are you doing?” She asked softly. Cullen's eyes flicked towards Alistair, almost expecting him to become uncomfortable with the situation at any moment, only to find the man lounging sideways in his chair with his long legs hanging over the side. 

“F - Fine. I'm, ah, fine.” Cullen waited until Lana gave him a small nod, his cue to continue. He cleared his throat, giving himself courage to continue as he focused his gaze on her. “I tried to tell you again that we should go, but you… You were persistent. You told me that you - you knew, about my thoughts… My… My desires…”

“Did you desire me?” Lana asked sweetly. Color rushed to Cullen's face as she brought her legs to either side of his lap, settling softly onto him. Her other hand met the opposite side of his face to mirror the one that already cupped his cheek, and slowly her hands slid back to curl gently in his hair. 

“I - I did, at the time.” The words were raspy as they left his throat. His eyes widened slightly as he felt his cock twitch once against his breeches, against her. A lilting laugh left her throat as she smiled.

“At the time?” She teased. 

“He'd have had to be mad not to be,” Alistair commented casually from the corner. Cullen nearly jumped at the sound of his voice. Maker, he had already forgotten that Alistair was there. Lana's hand dropped to Cullen's chin, gently redirecting his gaze towards her.

“What happened next, Cullen?”

“You… It...”

“Did it kiss you?”

“I… Yes,” he choked. Cullen's heart pounded in his chest as time slowed down for him. Slowly, steadily, Lana began leaning towards him, her eyes gradually closing as her lips neared his. And then, they met, and he froze. 

“Cullen? Cullen?”

Cullen blinked, finding Lana still on his lap but staring at him at an arm's length. There was a hint of concern in her eyes, and as his gaze slowly moved towards Alistair he saw the same caring, concerned look on the man's face. As Cullen began moving again Lana visibly relaxed as her warm smile returned to her face.

“What happened just now? Where did you go?” 

“It was… Almost just as I recalled,” he breathed. Maker, but this was more difficult than he had thought it would be. His hands were shaking, and he gripped the arms of the chair to steady them. He couldn't even recall her ending the kiss, seemingly having lost that time in his mind. 

“What was different, though?” Alistair piped in.

“What?” Cullen turned his head to look at Alistair. The man was still sitting with his legs over the side of the chair, however now he was propped up more proper. 

“Before, when it happened. Did it feel like her kiss did? Could you feel the callus on her lower lip from her chewing it too much? Were the kisses before rough and forcing, or soft and sweet?”

“Ah, m - more rough, I… Looking back on it, perhaps it was trying too hard to convince me.”

“So focus on her, then. Kiss her again, but this time count all the differences. Starting with that lovely callus of hers.”

Cullen mentally prepared himself as Lana gently ran her fingers through his hair. Her touch was kind, soothing, not at all what he had felt back in Kinloch. She trailed her fingers over his cheek, tracing his features like a lover memorizing their partner's face. He watched her eyes, her gentle smile as she followed her fingers, and his body relaxed under her touch. Her fingers trailed over the scar above his lip, following it to his lips themselves. That was when her eyes met his, and for a split second a memory of those same blue eyes flashed in his mind, only younger than the ones in front of him now, smiling up at him as they stood talking about the Harrowing she had just completed with ease, and his heart skipped a beat.

“This is real this time, this isn’t a dream,” she whispered. “You're a templar no longer, and we are not in Kinloch. Kiss me.”

Cullen's lips were pulled to hers as if by some invisible force. His hands rested at the small of her back, gripping lightly as they kissed. He followed Alistair's instruction, focusing on every little difference. He found the callus Alistair had mentioned, right at the middle of her lower lip, born from years of nervous habits, something completely missing from his memory. Her kisses were soft, gentle, as kind as her fingers that snaked through his hair once more to caress him - a stark contrast to the gripping, needing pulls from his nightmares. She smelled of lavender and vetiver, of ink and the pages of very old books. She let him take the lead, kissing back only when he kissed her, leaving him in full control. At one point a whimper left her throat, high pitched and shaking, and Cullen suddenly realized that his hands had moved to grip her bottom.

“A - Andraste preserve me, I am so - so sorry,” he sputtered while removing his hands from her. He sighed as Lana kissed him once more, and this time he found his lips trailing after hers when she pulled back.

“I meant what I said before,” she said with a small smirk. “Whatever helps you heal this memory…”

“It… It never got quite that far,” Cullen said as he cleared his throat. “Or, at least…”

“What happened?” Lana asked. Her hands were busying themselves in his hair, brushing back strands just above his ear to help relax him.

“It… It got close. It was as if it was on a loop… Always… Getting to that point, with you - it - on - on top, and then, just before, everything became real again. And they'd… Start over.”

“That's terrible,” Lana said with a frown. “The way I see it, we have two options.”

“Which are...?”

“We can play this out exactly as you remember, only follow through. We break the loop. Or, if this is too much, we can stop.”

“And… What are… your feelings on that?” Cullen asked as he eyed Alistair. The man cracked a grin from afar.

“Judging by the look on her face, and the conversation we had last night about it, she's very excited about comparing templars, if you catch my drift.”

“You really don't mind watching another man… With your wife?”

“He likes it,” Lana said with a smirk. A groan left Cullen's throat of its own accord as she shifted herself against his straining erection that begged to be freed from his breeches. “He enjoys watching me being pleased. And I enjoy him enjoying it.”

“Well, if… If no one objects, we could always try to… See how far we can get.”

“That's the spirit,” Alistair said encouragingly. “I only have one rule - well, two rules: One - what's your watchword, my dear?”

“Wicker.” Cullen watched Lana's cheeks flush ever so slightly as the world left her tongue, then his eyes flickered back to focus on Alistair as he continued. 

“That's right: Wicker. You hear that word, Commander, and you stop. You can use the same if you'd like. Rule number two: no coming in my wife. Yes, I realize we're wardens and wardens don't get pregnant often, but just humor me. Agree to those simple things and I'll let you in on a little secret - If you rub her ears too firmly a few times she'll come, so, avoid that. Unless you want her to come. In which case, it is a nice little trick.”

“Oh, Maker,” Lana sighed with a smile. Cullen chuckled nervously at Alistair’s suggestion. Maker, was he really going to go through with this? Would he even make it to that moment with her? Did she really want this?

As Lana leaned forward and took Cullen’s lips with hers he realized, yes, she did want this. Lana may have been rather obviously allowing Cullen to pick their pace, but she gave herself away in the way her hips gingerly rocked every now and then to rub against his straining erection, as if she couldn’t help herself. Cullen’s hands slowly snuck back to her waist. A strangled hum vibrated in his throat as he felt her breath shake against his lips, as if such a simple touch from him had evoked such a strong response. Memories flashed behind Cullen's closed eyes, little glimpses of watching her from afar so many years ago, always from afar. There were no rules now to stand between them, no blatant imbalances of power to keep his conscience from allowing him this. 

Maker, he didn't think he could stop kissing her even if he wanted to. Each kiss from her melded into his subconscious, each further and further from the frightful memories he had associated her lips with before. He felt as if he were truly breathing for the first time in her presence, a clear headed feeling he hadn't felt since his last draught of lyrium, and he needed more. 

“May I?”

Cullen's lips slowed to a halt as she spoke against them. He pulled back just far enough to glance down at her fingers that played with the lacing of his shirt. With a nod, Cullen watched as Lana slowly unlaced his shirt until it was nice and loose. Then she took his hand, directing his fingers towards the lace on the large shirt she wore. Cullen flushed crimson, realizing that doing so would reveal quite a bit more on her than it did on him. He swallowed as she molded his fingers to grip the lace, then he slowly pulled.

As her skin was revealed, inch by inch, Cullen felt himself seizing up. His eyes were glued to her, staring at her skin just below her clavicle as the fabric pulled away as slowly as his fingers allowed it to. He felt his mind going dark, everything around him swirling, Lana's posture slackened as she caught on to the change in Cullen's appearance when, suddenly, he saw the tip of an old scar. It poked out from under the lacing as it loosened, just on the right at the edge of the top of her breast. 

Cullen's breath released heavily, and he let go of the lace. The rest of it fell, the fabric sliding from her shoulders with it. Cullen's eyes stared at the scar, unable to take his eyes off of it as she sat on his lap with the shirt pooled at her hips. He swallowed hard, raising his hand to draw his fingers over the scar. Its edges were rough, not the work of steel - no, a claw, perhaps? From the corner of his eye, Cullen caught a glimpse of another: one just above her hip, mostly obscured by the fabric of the shirt. He clasped his hands to her waist, causing her to squeak in surprise as he lifted her off his lap and set her to stand in front of him. 

“Everything okay…?” Alistair's question went unanswered as Cullen gently slipped the shirt from Lana's hips until it pooled at her feet. Cullen remained seated in front of her, his face barely an arm's length from her as he hunched over to look at the scar. This one ran from her hip to mere inches diagonal to her navel. It was sharp, piercing, the work of something sharp and rounded - definitely steel, unlike the other. It was covered by a burn, almost hand-shaped in appearance, as if someone had placed their burning palm to her flesh to cauterize the first wound. 

Lana's skin was reddening under his gaze and touch, standing before him in her breast band and breeches. Her head tilted as she watched him stare at her scars, trying to figure out what the significance was as he gently took her hand and traced the scar on her arm - the one that gave her the most nightmares of them all. She bit her lip as he focused on that one, setting aside whatever feelings she had of it for the moment. Then his eyes shot up to her shoulder and he spun her with his hands. Her eyes widened as she stumbled to keep her balance from the sudden movement, making contact with Alistair's gaze as his brows lifted. Cullen was running his fingers over the burn on her right shoulder, and Lana and Alistair's heads tilted almost in unison as they heard what sounded like Cullen laughing. 

“Cullen?” His name was drawn out on Lana's tongue. Alistair sat up in his chair, craning his neck in order to see the Commander's face. His eyes were slightly watering, a look of almost disbelief on his face as he quietly laughed. If it hadn't been for the smile on his face, Alistair would have been more concerned. The two of them waited, giving Cullen a moment, before he finally spoke.

“You have scars.” The words left Cullen, and Lana felt the relief they carried with them. She relaxed instantly, smiling as she laughed as well. 

“It didn't have scars, did it?” She asked, and Alistair instantly slumped back in understanding.

“None at all.”

Lana's body was peppered with them: big scars, little ones, each telling their own story, and Cullen had never known. The demon had drawn on his knowledge of her, filling in the blanks as he would have imagined: it had been unmarked; flawless light olive skin that had matched her face, save for the nail sized nick just near her left eye. Each scar was proof that she was different, that she was her, the one who saved him from that terror all those years ago, not the cause. Each scar was proof, and of them she had many.

Cullen stood as Lana turned and took his hand, pulling him from the chair. She walked him towards the bed, her legs barely hitting the edge before he pulled her towards him and bent low to meet her lips. 

“Walk me through it.” Lana's words bounced off Cullen's lips between kisses. 

“Through…?”

“What happened next?”

Cullen slowly parted from her kiss, the reality of everything coming back to him. His cheeks flushed as he straightened, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck as he glanced at the bed. He silently kicked himself in his mind as he felt his nervousness setting in once more. 

“Well, I was… We were on the ground… You - I mean - It, r - removed my clothes, and its… Clothes...” 

“Do you want to change that?”

“H - How so?”

“It removed everything… How about you do it this time? Let it be your choice.”

Cullen slowly nodded his head as he considered it. His eyes wandered down to her breasts, barely covered by the cotton that bound it back. He averted his gaze as he felt his face burn, quickly deciding to remove his shirt first. He grabbed the hem, pulling it over his head and taking his time setting it to the side. Cullen could feel the burning traveling down his shoulders and across his chest as his hands found the laces of his trousers. Chancing a glance at Lana, he felt his stomach do a bit of a leap as he watched her teeth bite lightly on her lower lip - right on that callus - all the while her eyes were glued to his hands as they pulled at the strings. Maker, she wasn't trying to hide how much she wanted him, and it made him more careless as he let the trousers drop to the floor at his feet. 

As he tried to step out of the legs of his trousers, Cullen felt himself turn beet red as he realized one fatal mistake - his boots. He dropped down to crouch, sputtering apologies in his smalls as he tore at the laces of his boots and tried to kick them off as if doing so would curse their very existence. 

“Alistair didn't even get his boots off our first time, if that makes you feel any better,” Lana said with a light and understanding laugh. 

“Traitor, you're not supposed to tell people that,” Alistair scoffed, though the grin on his face gave his levity away. 

“Not just me, then?” Cullen mumbled. He tried to take a breath to shake the embarrassment. The feeling faded away soon enough as he saw Lana's feet stepping closer to him. 

“My turn, I believe?” She asked sweetly. Cullen slowly trailed his eyes over her form from where he was crouched, starting at her feet and moving up her cloth covered legs to the skin of her belly, all the way to her ocean blue eyes that sparkled down at him. Maker, he could crouch there all day, he decided. Boots shifted to the side and trousers with them, Cullen shifted to his knees as his eyes zeroed in on the laces of her breeches. He unconsciously licked his lower lip for a moment as he reached out to grasp the string. His heart was pounding, hand shaking ever so slightly as he pulled at the knot until it loosened, then placed a hand on either side of her hips, ensuring his index fingers were touching her skin to feel her as he pulled the breeches down. 

Lana stepped out of the breeches one foot at a time as Cullen pulled them for her. Standing, he looked around the room as if there would be instructions written on the wall. When he met Lana's eyes again she merely smiled in a manner that seemed almost mischievous.

“I believe I'm still clothed, Cullen.”

Maker, but she was. Two strips of fabric kept her from being known to him. Two simple, measly strips of fabric, one which seemed a miracle it was holding her breasts back at all. 

“Which… Um… Which one should I…?”

“I vote the breasts,” Alistair piped in suddenly from his chair. Lana shot a look at him that clearly told him to stop meddling, to which he threw his hands up in defense and added, “Just a suggestion. I apparently don't get a vote, sooo…”

“Whichever you prefer,” Lana cut in, turning her attention back to Cullen. Whichever he preferred… Maker, was there a preference to be had? In that moment, everything so very different from his traumatic past, it felt not unlike being presented with two gifts on Satinalia: two gifts which went hand-in-hand, each which would be opened eventually. Just… Which order?

Cullen let Alistair decide for him. It was simpler that way, though he wasn't sure he wouldn't have done the same in different circumstances. The grey breast band wrapped around her chest seemed to have a difficult task. It got the job done, if that job was only to hold her breasts in place long enough to get her armor on which would surely help with the rest. The world had seen plenty of advances in armor and weaponry, but, it seemed, these had scarcely seen an upgrade since the Exalted Age. 

Standing and stepping close enough to reach around her back, Cullen peered over Lana's head to eye the knot. He fiddled with it a bit, gritting his teeth at one point when it seemed the knot had possibly gotten tighter, when suddenly he felt it pop free. He gingerly took a step back as it fell to the ground, his eyes shamelessly glued to her breasts. Cullen could tell Lana was blushing, but, Maker help him, he couldn't take his eyes off of her. He barely even registered the happy hum of approval from Alistair over in his corner, until Lana spoke.

“Would you like me to take care of this?” Her eyes were on his, watching his eyes follow her hand as she hooked her fingers in the corner of her smalls. Cullen managed a nod, and took a step back as she slipped them down.

A breath escaped Cullen as she stood before him. When first he had gazed upon the demon’s form - her form, twisted by what it had read in his mind - it had given off a feeling. Cullen couldn't explain it more than that. It hadn't felt right. It had felt conniving, eerie, like a dark, thorny path in the woods on an otherwise sunny day, riddled with tempting berries that carried an uncertain fate to whomsoever was foolish enough to pluck one and eat it. As Lana stood before him now, she seemed to glow in his mind. There was nothing eerie about her - her scars reminded him of that. And, Maker, she was perfect. 

“Almost.” Cullen stopped in his tracks as Lana piped in after he had taken one step towards her. He furrowed his brows in confusion, only to catch her drift as her eyes trailed downwards on his body with a sly smile. “Not quite fair… Is it?”

“I suppose not,” he chuckled as he flushed once more. Cullen slid his smalls down, pink spreading across his body as his cock stood at full attention in the cool room. 

“So…” Lana smiled, glancing eagerly at his length before looking back up at Cullen while she walked back towards the bed. She sat at the edge before sliding into the middle and patting the mattress as she continued to steal glances of him. “You were on the ground? I thought a bed may be more comfortable. I can move to the floor if you'd like.”

“No - No, you're right. A bed is… Better.” Cullen nodded as he followed her over. He slid onto the bed, suddenly aware of how strange the whole situation must have been. Here he was lying naked on a bed, with a naked woman, and her fully clothed husband sitting in the corner - and yet, there was a part of it that excited him, enough to keep him wanting to see how this would all play out. 

“What happened next?”

Cullen took a deep breath as he prepared to answer her question.

“It… Sat on my legs, and began to… Situate. And that… That's when it all ended. And became… Then it turned, and…” Cullen sighed shakily, closing his eyes as Lana ran her fingers softly through his golden hair. 

“We can take our time,” she said softly at his side. “We don't have to do this all tonight, Cullen. You're doing wonderful. If this is too much -”

“No.” Cullen said it firmly, shaking his head adamantly. He turned his head to the side to look at her, focusing on the scar on her chest, the top of the burn on her right shoulder, a cluster of freckles below her collarbone he had never seen before, all the differences. “I don't want to associate it with you anymore. I - I wasn’t certain before, but now... I want to do this.”

“Good.” Lana smiled, running her fingers through his shallow chest hair. “Because, I have to admit… Ever since you took your smalls off, I've been curious what you'll feel like…”

“Maker's breath.” Cullen nervously laughed, unable to say much else. He had never felt less suave in his entire life, he was sure of it. He blinked, watching as Lana straightened her body and slowly slid her leg over his side. Seeing her above him then, her hands on his chest, fiery copper hair in the candlelight, his mind began swirling. Lana watched as the color drained from his face, his hands gripped onto the blanket beneath him as if it were his only lifeline. 

“Cullen?” She spoke his name softly. Placing her hands on either side of his face she could feel him beginning to sweat. His eyes seemed to stare right through her, as if he were lost in a deep memory. “Cullen?”

Alistair got up from his chair when Cullen didn't move. Cullen's breath was heavy, his muscles tense as Alistair crouched down next to the bed and put his hand on Cullen's shoulder.

“Come on, Rutherford,” Alistair said firmly, giving him a good shake. Alistair's voice seemed to snap him out of it, his voice and way of addressing him not too different from how he had addressed him when they were both Templar trainees. Cullen swallowed as he met Alistair's eyes, then he turned and looked back at Lana.

“Do it.”

“What?” Lana was shocked at Cullen's request. It left him more like a command than a plea, determination coursing over his tongue. Alistair had backed off again to his chair, trying his best to let the two of them work through it now that Cullen seemed to be back.

“I want it to end. Please.” 

“Then end it,” Lana said. “You said this was where it changed… So change it. Take control. What do you want to do?”

It had never happened before. In his nightmares, reliving that hell he had been through, it played over just the same as he had experienced: everything but, her soft legs wrapped around his torso, melting away into purple and horror before he could even experience her. He knew exactly what he wanted to do to change it. 

Cullen grasped Lana by the waist, holding her in place as he rolled them until he was on top of her while she squeaked shortly in surprise. Lana hummed as his lips crashed to hers, whimpers bubbling in her throat as his fingers delved between them to test how wet she was. Maker, she was soaking, clearly having been ready for this since the moment she sat on his lap what seemed like ages ago to him. 

In normal circumstances, Cullen would have liked to have taken his time. These were anything but normal circumstances. Desperate to break the cycle, to have something new to add to the loop, Cullen slid up slightly, groaning low in unison with Lana's loudening whimpers as he rubbed his cock against her heat, coating it in her quim. He sat back just enough to glance between them, taking his hard cock in hand as he guided it to her entrance. 

Cullen's breath was loud, relieved as he felt her heat surround him. It was as if glass had been his prison and it had shattered all around him the moment her mouth hung open with a moan that echoed throughout the room. The sound made him shiver, and he watched Lana as her brow furrowed near her shut eyes, hands gripping the blanket as she fought the urge to roll her hips until he was ready. She was waiting for him to be ready. Cullen pulled back with his hips before gently thrusting back into her. His eyes rolled slightly at the feel of her, quickly opening again to watch as her chest arched slightly with each thrust. Maker, she was already making so much noise, and he was barely doing anything. The thought made Cullen feel warm, stroking his ego as he moved one hand from her hip to balance on the mattress near her face. 

Lana arched towards him, her mouth hanging open as her lips curled into a smile. Maker, Cullen felt different than Alistair. Alistair was gifted when it came to his size - she knew that from the few she had been able to compare by then. Cullen still filled her well, though, very well, in a way that didn't stretch too much for comfort. Oh, Maker, and that slight curve Cullen had to him - that was new, that was very nice. 

Her arms reached up, wrapping around to Cullen's back as he pressed his chest closer to her. Lana took advantage of Cullen's shoulder being level with her lips, pulling him closer to moan loudly against his skin as his thrusts became more purposeful. His hand slipped down to her thigh, pulling until her legs were wrapped around his hips. Cullen slid his hand over every inch of her he could reach, memorizing the feel of her, embedding the memory of her and this moment deep in his mind: he felt the difference between the soft skin of her breast to the scar his thumb ran over; the curve over the peak of her nipple, the way she shuddered and gasped as he grasped over it; the dip over her navel, down to the rough and smooth of the burn that lay over the bump of the long, deep scar just near her hip; and the sweet, sweet way his fingers could dig into the flesh of her bottom, the way her moans became louder and louder as he pulled her towards him while he became totally and incandescently lost in her. 

Time slowed down for Cullen, and at the last possible moment he suddenly remembered one of Alistair's rules. His abdomen was tightening, his body practically lifting as he felt his end near so soon after only just beginning. Grasping her legs Cullen peeled her from his body, pulling out of her and grasping his cock with his hand as he sat up on his knees. He groaned loudly, covering the tip with his palm as he pulsed and spurted into his hand. Cullen gasped, suddenly finding the room less than full of air to him. He gave himself a few hearty, slow strokes, ensuring that he had been emptied of every last drop before falling back to sit on the bed. 

The sound of Lana's happy humming made the corners of Cullen's mouth twitch into a lazy grin. He lifted his head to look her over, finding her still in the position he had left her: on her back, practically spread eagled with a wide grin on her face and flushed skin all over. As her eyes fluttered open and she met his gaze, Cullen felt his insides flip for what felt like the hundredth time that night. 

“How did we do?” She asked breathlessly, and Cullen couldn't help but chuckle. 

“I would say… We did a perfect job.” 

“Think you'll have better thoughts in your mind when you see me now?”

“I - Yes, I... I think I have quite the image to think of now.” Cullen flinched slightly as a cloth hit his shoulder. He looked down, picking up the light blue handkerchief Alistair had tossed at him before looking at the warden questioningly.

“I promise, it's clean.” Alistair winked as he lifted himself off the chair. Cullen nodded in sudden understanding, flushing as he used the handkerchief to clean his hand off. He looked up as Alistair approached the bed, watching as the man looked over his wife with a sparkling interest and a smirk that even made Cullen blush. “I hope you haven't been tired out just yet… My turn, yes?”

[bluerosesonata]

The Legacy of Aika Village

[This will be the first of a few mini-articles I plan to post here, just about different things I’m passionate about. Please indulge me.]

This article originally was written back in early April- since then, Nintendo announced that the “Dream Suites” would be coming to the latest update of ACNH, as “Dream Islands.” As such, I thought it would be timely to finally post this.

Update: On July 2nd, the original creator of Aika Village made a tweet announcing their plans to remake Aika for Dream Islands in New Horizons! The legend lives on!

Image Credit: thumbnail from chuggaconroy’s playthrough of Aika Village on Youtube.

Animal Crossing And Horror: The Legacy of Aika Village

With a lot of the world in lockdown, Animal Crossing New Horizons has become a creative and social outlet for many, leading to a lot of people who never played Animal Crossing to engage with it for the first time. I’m sure most of you have encountered the various types of people present in the Animal Crossing community by now, but there’s a type of Animal Crossing players that a lot of people didn’t realize exist, and have existed, for a while now: The Horror Town Creators.

These players were the subject of a brief write up on Polygon by Patricia Hernandez [Hernandez, Patricia. “Animal Crossing: New Horizons is now a horror game, thanks to fans.” Polygon, 24 Mar. 2020. https://www.polygon.com/2020/3/24/21190826/animal-crossing-new-horizons-horror-game-decorations-scary-nintendo-switch-blood-spatter-pattern.], who posted an article featuring quotes and pictures of people creating horror themed towns and rooms in New Horizons, but only made a brief mention of the legacy of horror that many of these players are striving to recreate: The Nightmare Suites of Animal Crossing: New Leaf.

(These next few paragraphs are a bit of a self-indulgent aside, so feel feel to skip ahead.)

Horror gets a bad rap. Horror artists get comments like “lmao what SCP is this,”  “that’s fucked up,” or get flippant remarks about it all “looking the same.” Horror writers get made fun of for only writing “three types of stories.” Even the term “creepypasta,” which has evolved into shorthand for “horror stories independently published online,” still carries the stink of derision from the typo-filled, often poorly-written shock stories the term originated from. Despite this derision, horror, as a genre, is MASSIVELY popular (and profitable as well!). There’s an undeniable appeal to it.

More importantly, horror always finds a way to adapt itself to different mediums. As one can easily see by the success of horror podcasts like the NoSleep Podcast and The Magnus Archives, it isn’t even limited to a visual format! Like fear and dread itself, the horror genre crawls on, inexhaustible, undying, and ever-present, always returning to us in ways both novel and familiar.

Horror lovers are a tight knit, but welcoming, community, and that’s one of its biggest strengths and weaknesses.The biggest drawback is that a lot of really cool stuff produced will never be experienced, let alone documented, by people outside the community. And that’s what prompted this post. I was trying to explain the Dream Suite horror movement to my cousin, and despite my best efforts, didn’t find a lot of coverage about them, beyond the fact they existed. Worse, most of those were articles written five years ago. Even so, I’ll link to a few of them at the end of this post, as they’re definitely worth reading.

For me, I wanted to share my experience of the horror town phenomena with people outside the community. The Nightmare Suites movement was really something magical, and I know that I, personally, am still trying to recreate that magic in New Horizons. And hey, maybe once you’re finished reading this, you will too.

The Dream Suite

Before we can talk about Aika Village, we need to explain the feature that made this whole movement possible. In the 2012/2013 3DS game, Animal Crossing: New Leaf, there were two areas in every town: The village, and Main Street, which laid beyond the train tracks that ran across to the north of every town. Main Street was home several important structures, including the town shop, the Happy Home Academy, and the Post Office. Later on, more structures could be unlocked and built as public works projects, one of which was the Dream Suite.[“Dream Suite.” Nookipedia, 25 Apr. 2013, nookipedia.com/wiki/Dream_Suite.] 

As for how it worked, Nookipedia explains it best:

To begin a dream, the player must lie down on the bed and pay Luna 500 Bells. They may then choose to visit a random town, input the Dream Address of a specific town to visit, or search for a town. They may then choose to visit a previously visited town or a random town, or to input the dream address of a new town to visit. While dreaming, the player may walk around the town and perform actions just as they would in the real world, but their actions will have no effect on the town.

While dreaming, the bed will be on the dream town's plaza. Luna and Lloid stand near it until the player decides to wake up. Players can borrow tools like a shovel and axe from Lloid to use within the dream. If the player lies on the bed a second time, they will leave the dream and anything they have in their pockets will be lost.

The player cannot go to Main Street or enter any buildings with doors besides homes. Additionally, messages left on the bulletin board cannot be read; instead, the board displays the town's name and Dream Address…custom designs on display in the town, such as on the ground and in houses, will be visible. The player who uploaded the town can also be found walking about. When spoken to, they will say their recorded greeting.

In essence, the Dream Suite takes a snapshot of your town at the moment you ask Luna, the NPC running the Dream Suite, to share a dream- this includes your outfit, the way  you decorated your home, the items laying around town, etc.

The most important aspect of this feature, and the one that I feel had the most impact on the Nightmare Suite creation movement, was the method of discovery. If you didn’t know someone’s code, you would be sent to a random dream of a random town, from anywhere in the world- and this is where I feel my personal experience of being in the community departs from the articles that have already been written about the Nightmare Suites.

The Urban Legend of Aika

In the years leading to 2013, I was going through some rough shit. I won’t go into details here, but video games had become my entire life. Coming into the summer of 2013, I didn’t have any friends I kept in touch with, and I was “starting over” in a city where I knew nobody- things were looking up, but outside of tumblr, I didn’t have anything even resembling a social life. Animal Crossing: New Leaf was a stabilizing force of my life during this time, and really helped me. I had the Shampoodle haircut guide saved to the camera roll on my phone, for pete’s sake.

It was in the beginnings of my friendship with a group of girls (whom I sadly no longer even have contact with), where a lot of our initial bonding happened because of anime and RPGmaker horror games. We were sitting together in the campus dining area, me playing on my 3DS, when I first learned about the Nightmare Suites.

“Have you heard about Aika Village?”

I hadn’t.

“It’s this really creepy town in dream suites, I heard about it from a friend online.” Later that day, she linked me to a tumblr post compiling a series of codes leading to different “creepy dream towns,” the first one being simply labeled as “Aika Village.”

That dream village became a phenomenon: people would write up their interpretations and theories about it, and even lead to a few articles and videos on gaming sites like IGN and Killscreen, which is why I’m not gonna even bother going into the content of the village itself.

And So, The Dream Begins…

This, in my opinion, was the draw of the Nightmare Suites. Without a way to directly share codes from your 3DS to your social media, the discovery and sharing of Dream Towns was like that of urban legends- like virtually passing notes in class, or sharing scary stories that “totally happened to a friend of my cousin’s sister” at a campfire. It felt like a cool discovery- something exclusive and scary and weirdly intimate. They had a mystique to them, a mystery of who their creators were and what they “really meant.” But above all that? They were cool as hell.

The Nightmare Suites used the limitations of the game to try and create an unnerving atmosphere in ways that were reminiscent to me of the RPGmaker horror game subgenre, and for me, created a lot of memories of excitedly typing in my once a day dream suite visit late at night in my dorm. I never lacked variety- there were so many people either influenced or inspired by Aika to make a horror town that there are entire lists and tumblrs dedicated to collecting those codes. (I even played around with the idea of making my own horror town, but never found the right inspiration, instead dedicating my time to making themed homes and custom outfits based on different anime characters.)

The sad fact that so many of these towns have been altered or overwritten, if they’re available or accessible at all, is in itself, a part of their urban legend-like appeal. While many of us may never get to experience these towns, the stories about them endure, in lists on long-abandoned blogs and youtube videos from people’s playthroughs.

And that mystique is the real legacy of Aika; While the Nightmare Suites may be gone, the wonder and dreamlike memories many of us hold from our chance encounter with it will never fade. You could even say we’re a bit…haunted by it.

[mythykl]

**That’s right. It’s time for Kakashi x reader Bitches

“Kakashi? Kakashi??” You couldn't comprehend why Rin had locked you in a dark room with hIMmm, and you held his hand the whole time, cuz’ ya 13yo ass was scared af. Once you guys were let out, you saw Rin and Obito fist bumping each other. 

That's when obito blurts- "Being the ones to know how much you like Y/n, you should've seen this coming!" 

"Baka! Shut up Obito, y/n doesn’t kn-" rin whispered

lmao. You're ass went speechless. Kakashi's hold tightened and he dragged you outside the academy.

before dating, he was pretty much a jerk to you, but it was through rin that you both get to know each other more personally,,, and still,, he continued to act like a jerk

well. once he took you outside, he decided to confess. His voice seemed shaky and he didn’t- couldn’t really speak out exactly what he wants,, 

“Kakashi, quit beating round’ the bush.. And the way you’ve held my hand it’s hurt-”

In the mid sentence- he just,, pulled you into a hug,, and whispered how much he likes you and asked you out!

you guys ended up having a beautiful time on your trip/date, at naka river, and,, tho no one really mentions, you both start dating *an unspoken understandin i guess?* on ya second date you guys prolly went for treking! *well i’m imagining that you aren’t a ninja*

You were by far the only one to see his face w/o mask

By now you had gotten used to obito’s clingy ass. though kakashi rants too much about him, you know, he loves him. Rin helps you a lot with dating advices,, somehow

Minato sensei teased you kiddos,, a lot. “At your age, all i used to do was keep staring at kushina,” he joked once.

He was a huge chatter and a curious ass fella surprisingly, you’re boyfriend talked to you about most of the things he learnt in mission, every goddamn theory he had in his mind, his likings and dislikings, his interest in Dōjutsu etc. You could feel how lonely he used to be, cuz he felt no one would listen 

you’d join him during his training at times, well that time you got to know that throwing a kunai isn’t as easy at it looks, your wrist hurt af

once kakashi had called you princess after kissing you in front of your friends, this commenced to everyone calling you by that name. especially Gai and obito

After obioto and eventually, rin’s death *ofc* you guys drifted apart; drastically. You couldn’t understand or help him through his immense remorse and regret while he would just,, either had a huge tantrum or not say anything at all. He said things like-  it’s better to stay alone, and have no one to lose- while breaking up, which hurt you a lot. within a few months, you guys didn't even cross paths in konoha streets since he became heavily loaded with anbu missions

Now that it has been like,,, a really long time; one day you see the konoha’s infamous Naruto with his team at the door, with a huge flower bouquet.

“Please accept this!” The girl with pink hair squeals.

“It cost us our whole savings but Ino-kun did give us a good amount of discount after hearing these are for kakashi-sensei’s date dattebayo!” naruto,, practically screames.

“Hold your horses; that’s not how you greet people.” the,, uchiha? Yes. he concludes blandly.

Your heart skips a beat on hearing your long-time-no-see lover’s name. Knowing him, you highly doubt that he sent them but still you ask.

“No ma’am, but we-once- managed to sneak into his Icha Icha Paradise, he’d written your name.. In it.. So we found you. You are sensei’s date aren’t you!?” the girl with pink hair, yes sakura, almost whispers to you.

ah.

“Yeah. That was a hell of a long time ago,” you smile.

You let them in and offer some tea. You guys talk a lot and they were astonished?- yes, more than astonished that you’ve seen him w/o mask. Ah ok

Wow they had already done huge ass planning beforehand to make you both meet *not that you know*. As you take them downstairs to bid adieu, you see kakashi,, literally,, standing, in front of you’re door. Both of you equally shocked. 

Kakashi and you start talking to each other. You apologize for not sticking around since you didn’t know how to help him let go of his pain while he apologizes for bein a jerk-? Ok.

You guys plan to hangout-, which is the most difficult part! You had to work in the morning hours while he had to stick with team 7 for missions by afternoon

 you guys ended up deciding on crashing at each other’s places at night, and also,, sometimess early in the morning *???* it gets tougher for him with time to juggle from place to place, thus, getting late for his missions

You guys end up moving in together *it’s official* and he sleeps closest to the window. yes.

He’s very protective of you and kinda the jealous type, he’s afraid of losing you and is very open about expressing it. He doesn’t give you nicknames but often call you stuff as ‘my other half’ and refers you w -chan *just being sarcastic*

You are like a mum to team 7 and they love you, you get them lunch at times. Sakura often asks you for advice to get sasuke,, but udk what to say since sasuke.. Is just sasuke *he reminds you of 13yo kakashi*. But uk that there’s a special bond between them

kakashi doesn’t hate PDA, but he doesn’t like it either; you guys for long walks in the evenings, occasionally hold hands. Is it obvious to others? Don't know. Butt once you caught kurenai and asuma kissing.. Twas’ hella kyut

He would also rest his chin on you head a lot, and likes to intertwine his fingers with yours when you guys are alone

Hugs aren’t his thing but if you hug him, he’ll slowly hug you back and then all at once melt into you, Anddd he’s warm af

twice you caught him, just in underwear, slurping ramen in the middle of the night and you were like,, wait wut-

He loves ya massages and loves to cut vegetables,, for some reason,,

Big cuddle person in bed

You love trying different hairstyles on him anddd he looks dead ass hot in most of em. Let’s just agree,, he has a better taste in style than you tf

You guys usually opt for trips to neighbouring villages, hot spring trips, camping etc

Tho mysterious and sarcastic, he opens up to you whenever needed. Unlike in childhood, now you’re the one who talks a lot. He agrees to feel acknowledged for being himself whenever he’s with you and like a prodigy, sharingan bearing, functioning human, as people call him. His brain lets go of all his insecurities and PTSD for a while when he sees you happy because of him

He often loses track of time during his frequent visits to the memorial stone where Obito's name is engraved; you understand that he needs some alone time for this ritual and this, don’t tag along 

Well now, even you've started reading icha icha series cuz’ of ya moron boyfriend, and you are hooked to it *since I basically imagine it to be the fifty shades of grey in naruto universe lol* you guys freakin end up trying shit from the book

“Baby, let’s be sexy,, together” he said once as he leaned againt the kitchen counter in the most sexy way.

“Sure senpai, why the book’s tactics won’t work?” he just laughed hysterically at the comeback.. And,, umm.. You get what happens

He likes braiding your hair, especially before sleep, he finds it relaxing

Whenever his ass displays a bored and unenthusiastic expression, you say, “go bald kakashi.” right. What a mature insult 

He’s very calm and observant and knows what you are feeling- or even what you are thinking. I mean how-? 

He asks you to make miso soup, with eggplant, a lot!

Your parents aren’t really sure of your relationship. Since he wears wut? a maskkKkk. And once Kakashi, still being as apathetic as he was during his youth, spoke bluntly about sensitive topics with them during a discussion

gai gifted you both matching Yukata on ya bday. that’s indeed beautiful and thoughtful of him.

well Your boyfriend sucks at selecting gifts.. He gets you things that can’t be used or idk.. ButTttt this man is too good at remembering dates  

People wonder if he’s stern and serious, judging by his past and repo, but you tell them that he isn’t! Well, he has decided to move on, and now you know how to support him. He knows that you appreciate him for that, and this he listens to you.

you just found an engagement ring on you night stand with letter beside it. congrats hun *instant panic*

...

i hope you enjoyed ;))

i need to,,, stop imagining so much, it's a lot to type. i wish i had a gadget or something through which my imagination would get typed, systematically, on my pc. Btw i won’t be uploading much in September since i gotta study so. so don’t assume that i’m dead or don’t care anymore. 

this one was requested by two peps, since my ass is new on tumblr i kinda fucked up and thus, my inbox got cleared or something. i’m still learning k

ya that’s it.. imma go and read my icha icha now ah huh

[ohheyalex]

the phone calls that never came//a dickkory fic

A/N: Hey so I was supposed to post this fic a couple weeks ago but tumblr was being annoying so i just uploaded it onto my AO3 account. And I kinda forgot to post it here too lmao but here it is. Also this was supposed to go on my titans blog but the gif wasn’t showing up and uh I wasn't willing to give that up lmao This does have some angst to it and I may be writing another part. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it.

Summary: Kory and Dick are both on the same path to self discovery even though their journeys are separate for now, they can't seem to let go of each other completely.

She hadn’t heard from Dick in months and she doesn’t know how to feel about it to be honest. Her memories had begun to come in quicker since the fight with Trigon. Sometimes, she was fortunate enough to see the whole memory and other times Kory would just see flashes of her home planet. With each new thing she remembers, Kory seems to become more sure of herself. One thing she isn't set on is when or if she’ll go back to Dick and the kids. Kory hasn’t reached out either. Guilt slowly eats at her with each day that goes by that she hasn’t talked to Rachel, Gar and even Dick.

The mere thought of hearing his voice again makes her feel two things; fear and want. Fear of what the conversation could lead to or reveal and she isn’t ready for that just yet and want because she can’t help but be needy for him. Kory will probably never forget their first time, how gentle he was with her even though she’d seen him go postal on a guy a day prior. It shouldn't have been a shock to her with how mysterious he’s been since she’s met him but Dick was always finding ways to surprise her.

Kory isn’t sure of what she wants right now and that’s why she didn't go with him and the kids. She needed time to figure out who she is and what she had been through that past month since waking up in a totaled car left her at a complete loss of self. But she can’t say that she isn’t getting there.

“What are you thinking about?” Donna’s voice pierces through Kory’s thoughts.

Oh right they were looking over footage from surveillance cameras around the city. Kory brushed a hand through her hair but stops in fear of messing up the curls. That worry leaves as quick as it comes when she remembers that she no longer has her curly hair. It's now straight with a slight wave at the end for some oomph.

“Earth to Kory.” Donna waves a piece of beef and broccoli in her face.

Kory recovers fast, “Yea. So I was thinking we should look over the footage from 25th street until Sycamore Drive.”

The former Titan snorts, “Not what I asked but noted. Now tell me what’s going on in that alien head of yours.” Donna smirks. And Kory rolls her eyes at that quip but she knows it’s out of love. This friendship they’ve been able to forge has become the one thing Kory is certain about right now.

Kory pulls her hands from her lap and places them on the wood table in front of her. She starts to fiddle with the gold ring on her middle finger, she can’t help it.

Donna steals a piece of Kory’s orange chicken and plops it into her mouth while she waits for her to talk. She's learned that with Kory she’ll speak when she’s ready, there’s no need to push it out of her plus Donna wanted her to trust her. They ended up bonding over making fun of Dick when Donna pulled out some pictures from when he was a teenager.

“I don’t know I guess I just miss the kids.” Kory doesn’t have to see Donna’s face to know that she’s waiting for her to finish that sentence because even she knows that Kory has been thinking about him too. So Kory decides to vocalize it for the first time in three months, “And I miss Dick too.” That’s all she says and it doesn’t even touch the surface of what she’s feeling right now.

Donna nods while taking a sip of her beer, “Have you tried calling them?” And Kory just gives her a deadpan look. “Look there’s no shame in being the first one to call.” She offers thinking maybe that’s why Kory hasn’t gotten in contact.

She shakes her head, “No it’s not that. I’m just scared I guess of what the conversation will lead to. I don't know if I’m ready to talk to him. He hasn’t called either so maybe he doesn’t want to talk.” Kory shrugs, she’s trying to mask how she truly feels now but it doesn’t work. Donna sees right through it, “I doubt that. Don’t forget when I told you how whipped he sounded when we were following you to your ship a few months ago.” Kory can't help but laugh fondly at that, it made her happy to know that he had her back.

“Yea well I don't know if I’m ready to talk to him yet.” She stares at Donna and her eyes say everything for Kory. Donna takes another sip of her beer before giving Kory the best advice she could think of, “The only way you're going to get the answers to your questions is if you go to the source.”

Kory knows she’s right but it doesn't mean she’s going to do it.

San Francisco. 1 AM. Titans Tower

Dick can’t sleep.

He keeps tossing and turning every hour since he laid down at ten, he’s been trying to get into a routine again but it’s harder this time around. He thought about going into the training room and working out until he felt tired enough to sleep but then he runs the risk of waking up one of the kids. And he doesn’t want them worrying about him when they need to be focused on the lessons and what could come next.

After the tenth time he’s rolled over to a different corner of the king sized bed, he moves up to the headboard and plops down on his side. Dick’s thoughts are a jumbled mess of worries, fears and he’s started to think about her. He doesn’t want to, Dick doesn’t even want to delve into that part of his mind. He’s not ready to. Instead he focuses on how he walked into the kitchen a couple days ago and it was a complete disaster. The three teenagers had been laughing seconds prior to noticing that Dick had come back home early from the store.

Gar was the first to notice as he turned around to look into the reflective surface of the microwave, he caught sight of Dick. “Uh hey Dick!” He whipped around causing Rachel and Jason both to turn as well finally noticing him as he places a couple of bags onto the counter. He stacked three brooms and mops so that they’re leaning against one of the bar stools.

All he can do is laugh lightly at them, “Is my cooking that bad?”

“No it’s not that bad.” Raven says while flicking a piece of an egg shell off of her shoulder. He can tell she’s just being nice but of course leave it to Jason to be the honest one.

“Not bad? Rachel that cauliflower pizza wasn’t fucking edible! Look Dick I can’t do this, we gotta hire a chef. I can’t do anymore of your healthy cooking shit man.” Jason huffs and it makes Dick laugh.

“Here.” He gives Gar some cash, “Go get some lunch but not before you guys clean this place up.”

The three of them rush to the bags he brought as he goes to his room.

His phone buzzing on his side table brings him back to reality. It’s a text from Bruce, it’s about Jason of course. Just the usual question of how he’s doing and Dick let’s him know the young Robin’s progress. He’s still to quick to react with his fists but he’s trying is all Dick can really say. He knows that Jason just wants to go back to Gotham, he understands that he probably feels Bruce just dumped him off with Dick and maybe it seems that way. It doesn’t matter anyway Dick has learned that when Jason sets his mind on something, it’s hard for him to change it. He’ll still try though.

Dick sends out one more text before looking at the time. It’s been an hour and a half since he gave up on trying to sleep. He needs to fix this, he can’t be off his game right now because of the kids. They’re relying on him and Dick doesn’t want to let them down, he already did with Rachel and Gar. He shakes his head and forces his mind to not think about his previous failures, he has to move on and make amends.

His mind drifts again and this time he allows himself think of her. He rarely does, Dick knows it’s complicated for them both. He’s still trying to figuring out who he’s going to be now that he’s not Robin anymore. And she’s still remembering who she is and who she wants to be.

He wanted to give her space, if she wanted to come back then she would. It didn't mean that he didn't miss her. He does, he thinks about Kory every day. Dick just doesn’t say it out loud and who would he even talk to about Kory and his feelings for her? He’s not talking to the kids, that's out of the question. Dick hasn't spoken to Donna either, he knows what the Titans tower means to her and he doesn't want to burden her. Again, if she wanted to come back then that would have to be her decision. And Dick finds that his thoughts are just cycling each other because even though he misses the hell out of his best friend and this fascinating woman who he has developed these feelings for, he doesn’t want to pressure them.

So Dick decides to give them space because they need it and so does he. His emotions are sometimes hard to talk about but he’s getting better at it.

But then again maybe one phone call couldn’t hurt. His thumb clicks on the contacts icon on his phone and he scrolls until he gets to her name. Dick taps the contact and his thumb hovers over the call button. He can’t fucking do this, what is he even supposed to say?

'uh hey kory it’s dick, sorry for not calling you for three months, dick move huh.’

Dick rolls his eyes at his own awkwardness and his attempt at a joke. He’s glad that happened in his thoughts and no one was there to witness it, especially Kory.

He keeps his thumb over the call button for what seems like hours but is only fifteen minutes. Dick tosses his phone to the side and throws himself on the bed deciding on letting his fear of what could happen win for now. And funny for some reason now he feels like he can sleep, so he finally does and he hopes his dreams are only of a curly red haired beauty because that's the only way he's going to see her.

Chicago. 1 PM. Donna’s House.

Kory couldn’t sleep last night. A couple new memories had come back to her earlier that night and ever since then she’s been wide awake. Kory had the TV on with no sound on, she was content on listening to the rain just outside the window.

She had been going back and forth in her head on what she wanted to do. She missed the kids and Dick but she didn't know if she was done with exploring just yet. Plus if she went back, what would that mean for her and Dick? Kory takes two seconds before snatching her phone from the end of the bed and she scrolls through her contacts effortlessly landing on Dick’s.

Her thumb is inches from the screen, she’s almost there and all she has to do is push down. But she doesn’t, whatever courage she’s worked up vanishes as soon as it appeared and she throws her phone to the side. Kory crosses her arms and she can’t help but be upset with herself why can’t she just call him? A knock interrupts her next thought and before she can say come in, Donna walks in with a coffee cup in hand. “I found Shimmer. Well I got intel on where she’ll be. Come on, let’s go.” Donna starts tossing random pieces of Kory’s clothes that she just bought the other day at her.

Kory doesn’t move from her on spot on the bed, “Where are we going?”

Donna walks back to the entrance of the room and before she turns to leave she says, “A stake out.” She winks before leaving Kory to get dressed.

Yea maybe she’d call Dick after her and Donna caught Shimmer.

//

[vanaera]

Hi Aeraaa. Sorry it took me long to replay, but I’m glad that I finally can do it =) I just hope tumblr won’t delay my asks further more. I get why you would expect me to major in humanities, actually there’s an area in finance called behavioral finance, and I find it one of the most interesting areas in finance, I guess we can see a pattern in here hehe. What you said about ur major and what do you like about it seems really great, and the flexibility is indeed an advantage. 1

Maybe it doesn't seems like it but I understand the hassle you mentioned. Especially with the older people. B4 I major in finance, I was planning to major in MIS which is a new course in my country. I would then get a similar reaction to the one you mentioned since it isn’t accounting or finance lol. Even though these reactions can be discouraging, it isn’t really important, what’s important is that we’re comfortable with our choices, and I’m glad for that =) but yeah, i kinda get it

And Sure, I can tell you more about what I remember about the two courses. For business communication it was more about how to use the best practices in communicating with other within the organization, like how to get your message delivered, for the sake of getting the best possible result for yourself or for the sake of the organization. Things I remember about this course were like how to make and deliver a good presentations. How to right emails and good resumes. Attitudes and body language

and stuff like that. THH reminded me of a lot from that course :D. It was relatively an easy course but important and effective nonetheless. I took this course two years ago and I kinda wish if I took it like last semester cuz I think I’ll be able to remember better how to write a good resumes lol since I’m graduating this semester. Organizational behavior course was more interesting, it was about applying psychology in understanding the behaviors of personnel so one can manage them better.

The most interesting lecture that I still remember from this course was about many kinds of human bias and how it can affect the process of decision making. People can think that they’ll be able to notice these biases and tendencies easily but the reality says otherwise. That’s what I find is interesting the most. I really like what you said here. “ I think the world actually heavily relies on stories” and I think I agree with that. :)

You’re most welcome dear aera =) I don’t know how I did that but I’m glad for sure that my words made you happy and reached your heart. This’s great and it feels satisfying =). I’ll be back again to write about my thoughts on My time pt.2 after I read it! I’m excited. & Maybe I’m late but all the luck with your projects and finals dear, fighting!

Aseel!!!! Sorry this took so long!!! I got caught up with finals drain and writing slump and writing! But anyway, here I am!!!

OMOMOMO you're finally off-anon! Can I tag you now whenever I get tagged in fun tag games? I wanna know more about you!

I never heard of Behavioral Finance before. I used to think Finance is everything about money and budgeting and practicality and business. I didn't know there's an area like that.  I just searched it now and it's about the influence of psychology on investors and financial analysts 🤯  That sounds do interesting!!!! I just recalled that someone uploaded their books in their Psychology major to our uni's online library and rn I'm studying Forensic Psychology! Since I'm currently in the psych area, I think I'm gonna look into Behavioral Finance, too!

Oohhh MIS? Like Management Information Systems? (Had to Google it zjsjksks) That actually sounds so interesting! And yeah, people's - especially older generation's - opinions on what you do can be quite discouraging. But you're right. It doesn't matter as long as we're happy in what we're doing! Talk all they want how sciencey courses are better than humanities, I'll just flip my hair and study how most human communication goes downhill 💁🏻‍♀️  skskks. 

OMYGOD Business communication is like essentially my course! Were being tsught how to say things more correctly in preswntations, speeches, arguments, in whatever setting but it tends to usually focus on business (since a lot of organizations run in a business manner). One of my majors even focused on training us how to handle crisis in organizations and we were made to attend a "How to Properly Craft E-mails 101" class. It's amazing and funny at the same time. Amazing bc omygod after that class, I was making really convincing emails that helps me get what I want from my classmates (for class works) and from my profs whenever I have inquiries. Lmao bc of this class, I got more thick-skinned in facing profs and asking them what the hell do they mean in their vague instructions. Of course not literally this way, but this is the mood HAHAHAHAHAH. After that class, I made a joke that my future job is decided: an e-mail-er. Yep, yep. Corny joke. I'll see myself out 🤣🤣🤣

 I'm glad you were able to remember business comm in THH. I did a lot of research in how offices function and I had a personal experience in entering one and I hope I was able to translate them well into writing. So knowing you remember a course about it, just makes me feel warm and utterly satisfied 🥺🥺🥺

Oh and you're graduating! Advance congratulations!  🎉🎊👏 I think there will be more opportunities to learn more about writing resumes so don't lose hope! You're still young! (And with the quarantine I think there'll be more online classes about it too!)

And yes!!! Organizational behavior is hella interesting! You're right! People like to disdain bias. They herald unbiased reporting, unbiased essay, unbiased judging (in contests), and etc. When bias is inherently ingrained in humans as it is inevitable to have preferences. And bc they are inherent, it's harder to identify them. Just like how people find it hard to explain why they became the way they were now bc it's difficult to pinpoint something muddled in the surroundings that have long immersed them. I don't think this makes sense but you get what I mean? 

Apart from comm, our course usually focuses on the psychology behind comm so we also get to study about behaviors as well and goddamn I was able to better understand people after I learned about it! 

Oh hon, you don't know how far your words affect me. But the answer is simple. You just motivate me with these kind feedbacks. And you craft your feedbacks with such thought and dedication and sincerity that it just makes my heart explode bc how?? Did?? I?? Manage?? To have you as my reader?? It astounds me in so many levels. You're clearly so smart!  And I'll forever be privileged and happy to having met you (even in just online!) It's a joy to talk with you! I always have fun whenever we exchange long chains of messages! It's okay! Don't pressure yourself to read my works ASAP. We all live lives apart from this site. Just know I'll always be here whenever you wanna talk about just - whatever! Thank you for wishing me luck, Aseel! I really need lots of them bc I got tons of projects ahead (in life in general but also in my writings here 😉). Thank you so much Aseel for brightening my day! Hope you're doing okay! Here's some hearts! (/ ° O °)/ 💕💕💕

[onisiondrama]

11/21/2019 Patreon Stream Hour 3 of 5

Notes

Greg decides to go through old footage live. He gets up to get a pile of hard-drives.

Greg asks if anyone seen the full candycorn video. He says apparently this person has a ruined career because of him. He asks imagine he if used that excuse, “it’s all everyone else’s fault.”

He tries to set up a hard drive and says there’s a video of him fucking somewhere so he has to be careful. He laughs and says he admits too much.

He says it sucks people don’t show the full context of the clip. He says he only saves videos that were hard to make. He says he deletes every Speaks video. He says these hard drives have everything he has ever done. 

He says one of the hard drives were extracted when it was a raid, so he’s not sure how to get files. He asks if anyone know how to repair raids. Someone suggests to bring it to best buy. Greg says it’s 16 tb of data. He says it would be nice to have the original banana song footage. His patreons give suggestions on how to extract data. Greg explains it’s a raid hard drive so it’s multiple hard drives interconnected and it chops up pieces of data among the different hard drives. A Patreon walks him through how to plug it in.

Greg walks away for a second and a patreon says he’s reading the stream chat and they’re all giving Greg shit. Greg comes back and says the stream chat is the most messed up thing ever. Someone says it’s worse on twitter and Greg says he doesn’t read twitter.

The patreon continues to walk him through how to access the hard drive. They can’t get it to work and Greg decides he’s going to take it to a professional. He says his entire career is on these hard drives and the unedited bloopers of footage people are releasing like it’s real.

Greg asks his patreons how they would feel if they acted as a character years ago and now people are acting like you’re the character. He goes through the story again and says he did it because he likes seeing people outraged, but now people are calling him a monster. He says he wishes he didn’t fuck up the hard drives because it would be nice to smear it in people’s faces.

Greg gives up and decides they are going to play League of Legends.

He corrects a Patreon that calls him Greg, says it’s James now. Greg jokes that the FBI is going to show up and ask him if he’s Greg Jackson and he’s going to say no and they’ll leave.

He goes on again about how upset he is that people are watching the candycorn clip out of context because now he could lose people that aren’t crazy obsessed. He says it won’t be relevant for long, but he likes everyone knowing the truth.

He says we’re talking about someone that admitted they faked a seizure on camera. A patreon asks “wait that wasn't real?” He says it wasn’t real. He says at the time she had weird episodes all the time so he thought it was normal. He says her uncle asked him if he really believe the age reverse shit and the rainbows. He said thought it was a split personality or her own personal issues she was dealing with so he recorded her to show her the footage later. He compares it to someone being drunk and being unaware of what they’re doing. He said he asked her multiple times if he could release the video as an educational video on mental health because he needed to release a video that day or if she wanted him to work all night. He says she told him to upload it. He says she later on said she was fucking with him. He said he was told there was a video on tumblr where she admitted that. (I have never seen or heard of a video like this and I’ve been blogging about him here on tumblr for 8 years.)

He says his advice to everyone is to not get to know anyone and you’ll be fine. Someone jokingly says “forever alone”. Greg says forever alone people don’t know how lucky they are, his Patreons laugh but he’s serious. He explains when you’re alone you don’t have to deal with people turning your reality upside down. He compares it to a cult or a religion.

Greg says to prove he’s not a cult leader, he asks his Patreons if he makes them feel like their special and loved by him and they say no. Someone says when he says something nice to them it makes them feel weird. Greg doesn’t acknowledge what his patreons say and says that’s how he felt in that relationship. He said cult leaders make you feel like you’re valuable and they are the only way and you put up with their crazy shit because you think they have the answers.

Greg says he wishes he was worse at acting (back on the candycorn video). His patreons laugh and someone says that’s a hard flex. Greg says no he’s so good at acting it’s stupid. He says some people can’t do this on command. He starts telling a specific patreon that they are worthless without him. He goes on and on but tbh he didn’t change his tone or expression from before he started showing off his acting skill so idk. Then he starts singing Feliz Navidad, I guess to show how fast he can switch his acting, but again he has the same expression and tone lmao. Now he’s going to do another one to show off how he’s such a good actor that he can act like a bad actor. He says the same thing to that patreon, but in a valley girl accent. Now he’s going to do it, but even worse acting. He says the same thing, but by saying the lines like a question, but choppy and loud. He asks his Patreon if that’s good acting and they say it was perfect sarcastically. Now he’s doing it “for real”, he’s acing mad. I’m so over this lmao.

Greg says if he wanted to be a psychopath, he’d be the best psychopath. I think he’s talking about acting. He says he’s so typecasted that he can only make one type of video, acting like a psycho.

Someone says they want more Emo Charlie, but Greg tells them Emo Charlie is dead, he shot him. His Patreons are upset and tell him to bring him back.

He says he made a video with Shiloh where he put on a head camera and walked in on her in the shower and she’s pissed. Greg says that was acting, but his Patreons already knew. He says they would make videos to create drama for the sake of drama and it sucks people now chose which drama was real. He says he did it to himself though, he shouldn’t have made these videos look real. He says he and Shiloh were both really good acting and they created real moments. Greg says she was actually nude when they made the video, but he censored it and deleted the footage.

A Patreon asked if Greg remembers the videos he made with Joe Nation where he punched Greg. Greg says he just showed up in the video, he had nothing to do with it. Greg says that video aged well and his Patreons should tweet Joe to tell him to re-upload the video he made with Onision. Someone says it’s still up, but Greg says he should re-upload it to get views and likes.

Greg asks his Patreons if they like his reenactment of the masturbation thing from last night. (The recent video he made of himself as Shiloh crying outside the door while he masturbates inside) One of his Patreons enthusiastically say she loved it. He thanked a patreon because she is the one that told him that was said about him. He says you can’t accuse people of stuff that sounds real and accuse them of masturbating in the other room while you’re crying because it throws everything off. You have to be believable. He asks if his Patreons ever met anyone that did that, he didn’t think it was a real thing. A patreon asks what and he says the implication was someone was crying and banging on a door and in response he dropped to his knees and masturbated to the sound (Shiloh didn’t say this) and they knew he was doing it because they could hear it through the door. He says that sounds aggressive.

He asks again if that’s a real thing people do and a patreon asks didn’t social repose like it when girls cried. Greg says he’s mean to people when they cry. He says hes not into it. Greg says he likes feeling desired so any negative response is a turn off. He says liking being unwanted seems rape-y.

A Patreon says they like when there’s initial rejection, like a challenge, but not in bed. Greg disagrees and says there needs to be a prior discussion that there is going to be back and forth. The patreon clarifies they mean when someone plays hard to get. Greg says he doesn’t know anything about that. Someone jokes “of course you don’t” and he says he really doesn’t know what they mean. Someone says “the chase” and he says he doesn’t know what that is. He says he guesses he had a chase with his ex wife because she didn’t like people talking to her when he first met her. He thought it was so cool that she was anti social. He said she wasn’t interested in him at first, but months later she hit him up on AOL instant messenger and she invited him to her house. He asks if that’s a chase and someone says “um. yeah.”  He pokes fun of himself and says he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

A Patreon says they like emotionally unavailable men that she has to chase. Greg says people would be running forever with him because he emotionally shut himself off from a lot of concepts. He says opening yourself up is consistent with being hurt and wearing your heart on your sleeve seems cute, but it’s actually the worst. He compares it to leaving cash out and someone stealing it.

They talk about League for a while. He brings up the candycorn video again. He says it’s weird hearing himself and being like oh shit I was way too good in that. He says and people say I’m a bad actor, but they think it’s reality.

A Patreon says they’re waiting for them to make a Netflix movie about him. Greg agrees and said he was talking to Kai and asked what are they going to do now? Everyone already said everything and he says oh Netflix special. Kai says they wouldn’t do a Netflix special because it doesn’t involve facts, only hearsay so they wouldn’t want to get sued. He says then they talked about R Kelly and Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson can’t sue because he’s dead so of course they’re going to do stuff on him and R Kelly can’t sue because he’s obviously guilty. He says there is a video and transcript of R Kelly with someone that is underage and that’s why corporations are willing to do stuff on him.

He says he doesn’t think anyone would pick up a hearsay situation, but if they did that would be interesting. A Patreon asks if he would watch it and Greg says he hasn’t watched anything so far besides the candycorn clip so he can’t say he would. He says you’re obligated to sue a major corporation that would take part in that just because it’s obviously hearsay and they can’t release statements like they’re legitimate when it’s hearsay. He says individuals aren’t worth suing because they don’t have money. He says if you wait for a Netflix to pick it up and make a massive lawsuit out of that, people will realize it’s all hearsay and you walk away a multi millionaire. He says if Netflix picks it up its good for him.

A patreon says now that everyone said something, things will probably die down. Greg says no, they’ll still make videos because he’ll continue to draw traffic. He says he causes people to be endlessly successful.

A Patreon says Greg should make a drama channel to comment on what drama channels say. Greg says it’s exhausting watching people say bad thing about you. He says if he was a sociopath that would work, but he actually has feelings.

[pangtasias-atelier]

The Goddess's Judgement Part 5

Volug may speak only in the ancient tongue, but his dialogue lines are actually really funny when translated. Especially Volug’s “What if I ate everyone I fought? Would everyone keep fighting?”

Like that is so stupidly hilarious and the fact that it’s in a language that doesn’t even exist is great yet awful. There’s no vore in this though cause I don’t like that.

Focus on Volug since I like him and also no one understands him so I force myself to focus on descriptions cause I struggle lol

Also want y'all to know that I spent around an hour trying to figure out how to get the ancient language font to appear on Tumblr just for one damn line, but I couldn’t figure it out lmao

This was originally uploaded to Tumblr for about 5 minutes before I reread and wondered why the hell I uploaded it before deleting it and adding way more.

___________

Wandering around the dining hall transformed, Volug constantly stops at every table. A few pieces of meat get tossed his way each time, Volug catching them in his mouth. But with a couple of whimpers added, the whole table takes pity and gives him a sizeable portion of their meal. Add in a bark of joy mixed with some tail wags, each and every person are eating out of Volug’s hands.

Constantly in his wolf form, everyone mistook him for a strange dog. The lie still holds to this day, everyone viewing him as their dependable loyal companion. Able to halfshift to remain transformed as long as he wishes, the ability was useful despite reducing his strength. But now, Volug could feel the sheer lack of strength to do anything besides walk while halfshifted.

Treading to the next table, Volug repeats the process for the umpteenth time. He gobbles the chunks of chicken and steak happily tossed his way. Already full a couple tables ago, Volug presses on, nearing the last few tables.

Stuffing himself, Volug pads away after the last table. On his way to the exit, people notice him again, offering more scraps. Volug eats those as well, taking the free food.

Finally out, the route to his room feels long. Far too long. Finding a secluded room in the fort, Volug immediately claimed it, growling at anyone who came near. Everyone deciding to leave him alone, they left the room to Volug, a safe area to revert back. The door left slightly ajar since he woke up, Volug pushes it open and then closes it with his back foot. For good measure, he shoves the small vanity in front of the door. The door secured, Volug transforms back.

Fit muscular form completely gone, Volug groans upon finally reverting back. Working off the weight a matter of long several years, Volug is obese. On the precipice of 600 lbs, his tanned body stretches everywhere, his stomach sags down near to his knees. Volug burps as he lets his ass fall down onto the bed, the poor thing creaking and groaning from his weight. His thighs press down on the matress, spreading out. His stomach folds on to them, resting as it gurgles. His plump breasts rest on his stomach, the overladen fat accumulating everywhere. Volug’s tattoos stretch across his arms, the lines lighter and losing their definition. His ass squishes against the matress, fat shifting as Volug tries to get comfortable.

Digging his hand into his stomach, Volug massages it. Hands grabbing handfuls of rolls, Volug burps as he lets out pressure. Huffing, Volug closes his eyes as he sighs, the relief wonderful.

Half naked before, Volug now went without pants, Volug ditching the pair the instant they were tight. Not like it matters when he’s constantly transformed, Volug still wears his tight boxers, a hole or two already formed on them.

Groaning, Volug grabs the dog bowl of meat in his room, a treat from the chefs. Groaning, Volug grabs the pieces of meat. Shoving it into his mouth, he powers through, finishing all of it.

Huffing, the bowl is tossed to the floor as he wipes his finger of their grease. Standing back up, a process of fat pushing against fat, his stomach flopping around the contents of his food, Volug grimaces. Placing both hands on his stomach, Volug rubs them in circles, sighing in relief. Stomach slightly more calm, Volug plays with it, testing its heft as he lifts it up, his arms struggling to cradle all of it.

Grabbing the second bowl placed in his room, Volug groans as he eats that too. All of it meat again, Volug tears through the pieces. A quarter done, his stomach begins complaining anew, the dome churning with all its contents. Ignoring his body, Volug instead simply burps, the gas escaping his lips. One hand rubbing his stomach, he uses the other to feed himself, eyes closed as he repeats the process.

Hand touching only the plate, Volug drops it to the floor as well. A testament to his gluttonous ways even before the judgment, the floor is littered with bones and plates. Still standing, Volug licks the juices off his fingers. Legs buckling, Volug drops back onto the bed. Mattress already having a dent from his earlier rest, Volug dents it further, his ass squashing it. Groaning, he lies back, his feet on the floor with his back on the burdened matress. Huffing, Volug lies still, his stomach processing the several pounds of meat he gorged today. It takes about ten minutes for Volug to get back.

Having eaten only meat the entire day, he craves something different. Everyone viewing him as a dog, they won’t give him anything besides meat. Everyone except one person.

Probably suspecting something, Pelleas interacted with Volug differently, attempting conversations with him even. Granted, Volug didn’t speak back, but he feels Pelleas knew. Maybe because he knew, Pelleas always treated Volug with more intelligence and reverence, though; some of that partially came through Volug being one of the first soldiers from Pelleas’s rebellion towards Begnion.

Whatever food Volug sniffed in Pelleas’s room, he’d wag his tail at. Cautious, Pelleas had given Volug only portions of it, unsure of whatever Volug was could eat. Not sick a couple days after, Pelleas gave him whatever treats Volug wanted. Pelleas was Volug’s only ticket to non-meat food.

Deciding to go for some dessert, Volug pushes himself up, struggling and wheezing. Constantly halfshifting, the ability took away all his energy from both his wolf form and regular form. Before, he’d be able to move around and property function while not halfshifted. But now, halfshifting is far too taxing, especially with Volug’s long periods of using it. Out of energy, it was always easy to just halfshift back if he was out of energy in both forms at least he could move easier transformed. In a cycle, Volug could only eat to help replenish the taxing nature of it.

Sitting up, Volug rubs both hands on his bothered stomach, the movement causing a reaction. Volug shoves the vanity back besides the door and opens the door slightly before halfshifting. Several people greet him as he walks through the hallways, Volug offering a small bark as they coo over him. The route to Pelleas’s room is known by memory, the constant snacks from him ingrained in his mind.

The door uncharacteristically left open, Volug carefully walks in. The room is barren yet littered, tomes haphazardly left open on the bed. Searching around, Volug smells strawberries left on the floor for him. Heading towards it, Volug devours them, the acid sourness a respite from all the meat. Quickly finished, Volug finds a note.

Unfortunately, the note is written in modern script, Volug unable to read it. Scanning it, Volug finds some text written in the ancient tongue.

“I don’t think you can speak or read, but you have a far too high intelligence for a mere dog Volug. Oh I hope nobody reads this and think me mad. If you can read, Volug, then I went to the Gallian camp to end Daein’s involvement on an amiable note with the Laguz Alliance. I left some strawberries for you,” the note says.

Huffing, Volug groans at finding out the small treat is his meager dessert. Weighing his options for approximately five seconds, Volug heads out to the Gallian camp.

More compliments thrown his way as he leaves, no one questions him, assuming Volug to do whatever dogs do in the snow.

Trudging through the snow, Volug follows the scent, a massive group of Laguz easy to smell despite the light wind picking up. The sun nearly gone, the moon begins taking its place, the full moon offering decent lighting. The crunch of the snow and the wind the only noise, Volug continues on his quest for dessert.

The flapping of wings halts Volug in his tracks.

“Please, not so fast,” Pelleas’s voice sounds out, his voice further away from the flapping.

“We were told to have you back before the sun sets,” Ulki dryly relays.

“Oh come on, go easy on the Beorc will ya! He can’t fly like us,” Proving his point, Janaff flies slightly higher.

The eyes and ears of Tibarn had gained weight as well. Both hawks, the two were smaller than the beast tribe. Both crest a bit under 300, both of them still hefty.

Now higher, Janaff spots Volug despite the distance. “There’s a beast heading this way,”

“I told you I heard him five minutes ago, we’re fine,” Ulki retorts. His retort proves pointless as he flies lower, hearing Volug’s steps now much closer.

Before either can do anything, Pelleas speaks up. “Volug?” He questions, a meaty hand over his squinting eyes. A bark is his only response. “No need to worry, he’s a companion of mine,”

Janaff and Ulki share a look at each other, unsure whether to comment about Volug’s identify or not, both of them knowing of him from Rafiel.

“Well, we’re near your camp, so you’ll be in good hands,” Janaff salutes, ready to fly away. Ulki grabs his hand.

“We were told to-”

“I’ll be fine. I can see the keep from here,” Pelleas bows, or imitates one, his gut getting in the way. “Thank you for your assistance. We’ll help assist you all with whatever items to facilitate heading back home,” Pelleas smiles, following Volug’s pace.

“See ya, and thanks for the tip on transforming, I’m sure Tibarn appreciates the tip more than us!” Janaff salutes, dragging Ulki behind him.

“Thanks for checking up on me Volug,” Pelleas pats his head. “Though I guess you wanted some snacks,” Volug barks back, Pelleas smiling. “I’ll get you plenty, keeping up with the hawks was difficult. Thanks for walking slow,” Unknown to Pelleas, Volug’s slow pace was from halfshifting, running far too strenuous.

Arriving at the keep, Volug heads straight back to Pelleas’s room. Pelleas waddles to the mess hall, cheers and praises aimed at a blushing Pelleas who returns the compliments. The chefs happily supply Pelleas with his favors, several sweets being made. Shoved out of the kitchen, Pelleas heads back to his room, the sweets being delivered soon.

Back in his room, Pelleas finds it far cleaner than he left it, his books stacked neatly on his desk. “I guess I have you to thank for this too?” Pelleas jokes, patting Volug’s head, the idea of a dog cleaning a room entertaining him.

Pelleas sighs as he sits on his bed, the large matress offering a break for his tired feet.

The door slightly open, the knock signals the sweets’ arrival. Several thanks ushered the chefs way, Pelleas smiles as they leave.

Pelleas pales at seeing the mountain of a cake. Sighing, he pats Volug’s head. “I suppose you earned it,”

Heading to bed, Pelleas lies down, the creaks sounding out loudly as his matress digs down from his weight. Volug watched patiently, Pelleas’s breath evening out.

Pelleas now asleep, Volug shifts back and locks the door. Eyeing the strawberry cake, Volug hauls the cart to the desk. Taking a tentative sit on the desk chair, it holds his weight, the creaking not alerting Pelleas.

Too tired to bother with utensils, Volug grabs the cake with his hands. The first handful shoved into his mouth, it goes down smoothly, the creamy silkiness of it pleasantly alarming his taste buds. One handful devoured, Volug grabs another, and another, and then another, Volug making a process out of it.

One hand for feeding, his other is for his stomach, the mass complaining and kicking as even more food enters. Ignoring it, Volug eats the cake, more and more of it disappearing down his throat.

Head tilted back, Volug groans as he eats the last handful. Napkins appreciated, Volug licks his fingers before wiping himself, the chunks of cake now off his face.

Huffing, Volug grips the desk as he stands, his stomach yelling at the movement. Scooping as much of his stomach as he can, Volug groans.

Halfshifting, Volug immediately reverts out of it, finding it far too taxing. The door locked and no one bothering their king, Volug wheezes as he waddles towards the bed.

“Being this charming is hard,“ Volug complains in the ancient tongue. His stomach churns and bubbles as he rests on Pelleas’s large matress. The matress evens out from his weight. He just needs to wake up early tomorrow and halfshift back; that should be easy enough.

[simplysaiyanlicious]

(please click to view, tumblr eats the quality otherwise)

IT’S MY BOY!!!!!!! No glow version because reasons. Also I forgot to shade in some back-lighting but I can’t be assed to go back into CSP now.

Each and every time I draw Wynther I say “I’ve been neglecting him, I need to draw him more~“ and then... I don’t. And I feel bad because I love him and he’s been with me for soooooo long.

What he needs is FRIENDS! So I need to get him out more lol. Getting more involved with the Xenoverse community might help.

Lil’ bit of concept and character backstory. Wynther here predates the first Xenoverse game by 11 years, he was my very first DBZ OC. I made him in January 2006 when he was nothing more but a generic looking green/white clone named Hageru - I’ll include the first pic I drew of him that day below the cut so you can laugh at the horrible art lmao.

In November 2008 I gave him a design update, which is already pretty close to his current design, and changed his name from Hageru to Wynther. Also below the cut.

Like I mentioned the last (and only other) time I uploaded art of him here a few years ago, Wynther is written in such a way he fits into DBZ’s story-line as a support character, because Xenoverse wasn’t a thing yet back then. I did end up making him a Time Patroller but I’m keeping part of his original backstory - he was present on Namek during the fight with Freeza, fought alongside Krillin, Gohan and Vegeta (he met them on Freeza’s ship when they brought Goku in after the mess with Ginyu).

Wynther wasn’t particularly powerful and he didn’t survive the fight, but he was wished back along with everyone else who died at Freeza’s hands and transported to Earth, where he’s been ever since. It takes him a while to acclimate to life on earth but eventually he joins the Time Patrollers (not that I’ve actually ever finished the game but oh well). Still hangs out with the Z Fighters a lot though, Krillin and Gohan in particular.

Because he always wears clothes I wanted to design a simple Time Patrol outfit for him for when he’s on the job. Pretty sure he has a lot of outfits though lol.

Anyway! He’s a good kid and tries hard ❤️ My headcanon on Arcosians isn’t as extensive as it is on Saiyans, but I think I’ll do some more work on it soon. They’re so much more alien looking than Saiyans, they’re a fun species to figure out how they function. :D

‘Karioudo‘ is my old alias.

What even is anatomy.