#this was real loose just for funzies

[odddrawingsandwhatnot]

Sometimes, Colt is ready and almost willing to kill Emile.

It never lasts.

Emile knows just what to say to put him right back under his thumb.

The fucker.

[obsoleteozymandias]

Hellooo, I'd like to request a twst matchup, for funzies. (If you are still going through hell, feel free to ignore)

Australian - no known heritage.

Chubby with an average build, 5'5.

INFP 4w5 - Been described as responsible and mature, or sweet and calming to be around.

Rather childish (Which any close friend or family member could tell you)

I have a habit of going on tangents randomly, getting real energetic then immediately crashing, and getting confused over simple things.

I'm a little dumb to common sense.

Shy with everyone, even people I've known for a long time.

Autistic, ADHD, Anxiety, a triple A battery basically. Oh, and OCD, so patience is appreciated.

Again, patience. I can get really tiring when I'm not in the best mood. I need someone who would reassure me.

Stressed often, I would not mind a living stress ball.

Playful people are great! I'm not the best at letting loose, but I still love to!

I loveeee physical affection, but I'm not always in the mood for it.

I suck at social situations, so it would be nice to have someone who can help me through them.

I like people who can guide me through things. I have trouble deciding things for myself without affirmation from others.

Don't have a love language - I'm willing to give and receive love in any kind of way.

I am very willing to help a partner through whatever they need.

I respect the need for privacy, they can have their secrets if that makes them feel more comfortable.

And finally, I am really forgetful, and bad at describing myself!

Sorry if this is long or inconvenient. Thank youuuuu <3

I am no longer in hell 👍

== Twisted Wonderland ==>

I match you up with…

Cater Diamond

Cater is everything you’d want in a partner: playful and energetic, social and affectionate, but also wise and emotionally intelligent. He may be hesitant to let you help him at first, but the instant he knows you truly love and care for him, you see the side of him that the rest of the world baby does. 

He doesn’t mind you being childish or a bit absentminded. He himself puts on a face of both around other people, and so he understands, and can even sympathuze.

At first, you become friends with him because of his own social ability and friendliness. Then he notices you clinging to him at social events, and he’s somewhat smitten just because of how cute he finds you. 

He asks you out after a while, and I imagine that even if he asks confidently, he’s a bit insecure. You’ve seen the bad side of him - how will you view him now? 

But your shared care and empathy for one another holds strong, and you two become the power couple to end all power couples. 

You two seem to be able to read eachother’s minds after a while. He knows how you’re feeling by the way you walk, and you can pinpoint his mood by the way his hands move while he texts. 

You don’t have to say when you don’t want to be touched or when you need time to yourself - he gets it immediately. 

And he doesn’t have to explain these days where he seems more down than usual, because you reassure him you’ll be there rain or shine. 

Cater is the yin to your yang. And the everything to your everything else. 

[miwhotep]

Blackmail resistant Milverton anon:

Not really about the same thing, but something I've thought about a *lot* because yuumori already mixes British media of the time is Milverton's reactions to other villains in other media franchises of the era. Like Doian Gray, Frankenstein, Dracula, Jekyll/Hyde...

Do you have any thoughts about any of them?

I don't think any really are blackmail resistant. Dorian may be unafraid of getting caught as long as he keeps the painting a secret, but he is awfully paranoid and obsessed with his own downfall. I feel like Milverton wouldn't need real evidence to push his buttons, actually.

Dracula perhaps? He feels a little bit overconfident and less like he is even trying to keep his secret? Do you have any thoughts?

Hi, nice to see you again! I am a big fan of classic literature, so your ask made me really intrigued, especially that I never thought about these before.

First, Dorian Gray. I can't decide when it comes to him. First, he has his beauty and one of the main thoughts in the book was that people generally thinks that a beautiful being can only be good. Dorian might think that even if he gets exposed, the public wouldn't believe he comitted those awful things - he was also able to convince his  late fiancé's brother that it can't be him who chased the girl to her death, since he is so young and that event happened 18 years ago.

On the other hand, what you say about his paranoia is true, too. Milverton might be able to scare him just by knowing too much about him.

Victor Frankenstein. I think he surely could get blackmailed, even if not through his reputation - Milverton blackmailed people with threatening their families, if he chose to blackmail Victor, he would use this method, who has people he holds dear after all. (If you meant blackmailing the Creature, on the other hand, I don't think so. The Creature is an outcast of society, who has nothing to loose already.)

Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde. Complicated matter. I think Dr Jekyll can get blackmailed, but Mr Hyde doesn't. So if Milverton blackmails Dr Jekyll, Mr Hyde would come after him to destroy him.

Dracula. I don't think he would ever imagine someone would be so insane to blackmail him - but I can see Milverton doing it (of course, fully armed with weapons what can be used against vampires) just for the funzies and to later expose Dracula and turn humans fully against him.

If Dracula gets blackmailed, he would surely kill Milverton, even if he doesn't care about his reputation - and he might not even cares, people are already gossiping about him. But the fact that someone dared to blackmail him would make him really angry.

(Your ask also gave me a crazy AU idea - because vampires usually have red eyes, while dhampirs - human-vampire hybrids - in some series shown with yellow eyes. YuuMori setting in a world, where the high class consists mostly vampires and some influental humans and evil vampire nobles using the lower-class humans as livestocks. There, Liam and Louis are vampire orphans who are planning to overthrow the division of the races with humans on their side, fighting against the evil vampire nobles. And Milverton is a dhampir, who, because as a half-blood he was despised and rejected by both groups, tries to turn vampires and humans against each other even more through his blackmails, because he want them to destroy each other in the end.

Sorry for this stupid additional rambling.)

Thank you for the ask, these ideas were so much fun to play with. And now I wanna re-read The Picture of Dorian Gray, I love that book so much.

[memestockpile]

shaft from the 1971 film. feel free to change as needed.

up yours!

everybody looks the same to me.

thanks, brother.

too much sugar this morning.

a couple of dudes from uptown looking for you.

you can go out and make something of yourself.

got no use for no dirty postcards.

come on, i'll but you a cup of coffee, huh?

just tell me what you gotta say right here.

go get us a couple of cigars.

look, i'm late. what you trying to lay on me, huh?

i thought you might know something i wanna know.

seems there's been a lot of low, quiet rumbles going on.

hey, where the hell you going, [name]?

make a noise and i'll cut you.

now, what's your goddamn story?

i don't buy that.

i think you know more than you're letting on.

all your friends walk around with weapons like that in their pockets?

don't get wise with me.

what do i look like? some kind of klutz?

don't ask, and i won't tell you.

you know, you can get your rump in a sling for this mess?

we can nail your tail for manslaughter on what we've got on you right now.

you scare me to death.

all i'm asking you is to let me know what's going on.

don't bull me, man.

that's some cold shit.

give me a bad name, having you hanging around in the hall.

you're in my chair.

i couldn't give a damn.

i got a job for you.

who could hate you?

i get fifty bucks an hour. plus expenses.

yeah, well, stay loose.

baby, are you all right?

give me a dog with mustard and onions.

i got laid.

hey, champ, you lost?

get yourself something to eat, okay?

gee, thanks, mister.

you got a big mouth.

don't let your mouth get your ass in trouble.

a lot of hard years. the kind you don't forget.

i'm gonna give you one minute to say what you came here to say. and after you said it, you go back out that door you came in or i'll throw you out.

go over there and be quiet.

young man, please. don't do that.

don't ever threaten me again.

we're done running.

i'll leave you with some friends. they're straight people.

i don't know what's connected to what. i can't piece them together.

you've been holding out on me.

serves the old bastard right.

why don't you get some sleep? i'll get you a bed made up.

this is the only place for you to be.

i'll find out what i can and come back and pick you up in the morning.

i'll say any damn thing i want.

not in this house.

you ain't gonna do shit.

don't you try to bullshit me, boy.

money always matters.

how we doing, love?

don't make any trouble.

gorgeous coat.

there's nothing i wouldn't do for twenty dollars.

have funzies.

on the house.

there's a girl over there, with the dark hair and the groovy boobs.

well, i ain't dead.

you bet your lovely self it is.

can you dig it?

you got troubles?

haul your beautiful self down here.

it's a nice pad you got here.

people might be listening.

that's a risk we'll have to take.

call me when you get home.

don't you want a sandwich or something with it?

i haven't finished my espresso.

you get around the back, keep an eye on the door, and stay out of sight.

i halfway believe you.

this place will be stinking with cops in a minute.

you need a real doctor, baby.

can't fix anything til you tell me where you hurt.

got a bad sprain on that right wrist.

what do you think i am, an amateur? for christ sakes.

you're a shrewd cat, [name].

give me a cigarette.

cut the crap.

[badsongpetey]

Things are gonna start happening in the next chapter of Trollhunters: Returning, hold your gronknuts.

Preview (and spoilers for those not caught up) below:

Past Mistakes

When Jim was little, maybe starting around six or seven years old, he’d sit on the front porch for hours just staring down their street. He remembers believing with absolute certainty that any moment he’d see his father’s car round the corner, heading home. He’d do this day after day, week after week, and it didn’t matter how many times he’d be disappointed. Every time he sat down to wait, every time he heard a car approach their street, he’d have absolute confidence that his dad would come. He believed it so fiercely, so completely, that for him, it became reality. It was fact. It was inevitable.

That belief made the sobering realization years later that his father really was gone cut that much deeper. Because it came tied to the lesson that, for some things, no level of belief or desire was enough to change reality. Some things are indeed inevitable.

He’d clearly not learned this lesson well enough, he lamented as he stared dumbly at the prone figure covered in centuries of dust and cobwebs in front of them. Or maybe the universe just felt like kicking him when he was down for funzies. That was entirely possible too.

“Woooaaahhhh!” Toby squirmed as he fished the now glowing amulet stone out of his pocket.

Blue light illuminated his face in the dim light of the cavern as he turned the stone over in his hands. He glanced back a Blinky, who nodded solemnly in a silent encouragement, then turned his gaze to Jim.

Jim very briefly considered stopping him. He also briefly considered giving up entirely on the whole saving the future thing and just turning around and running as far as he could as fast as he could to anywhere that wasn’t here. But he didn’t. Reality wasn’t going to change simply because he wanted it to. He sighed and tried to give Toby a smile that looked real.

Toby nervously grinned back and took tentative steps toward the sleeping wizard. Jim knew what came next. He wanted to look away, to cower behind Aaarrrgghh or Draal until it was over. But then as Toby neared Merlin, a trio of lights escaped the stone to dance momentarily over his head before darting down and disappearing into the wizard’s body.

For a long moment, long enough for irrational hope to bubble up within Jim, nothing happened. The silence of Merlin’s tomb was deafening.

And then Toby startled and jumped back nearly loosing his footing as Merlin sat up abruptly with a long, wheezing gasp. The group looked on in shocked silence as Merlin’s gasp sputtered into a choking cough. Toby stood frozen in place as Merlin slowly got control of his breathing and turned to look at the boy.

“Are you the Trollhunter?” He asked, eyes narrowing slightly.

Jim couldn’t see the face Toby was making, but he had a pretty good idea of what his friend was thinking.

Merlin pulled himself up to a proper seated position and swung his legs over the side of his… er, bed?… to peer skeptically at Toby.

“I thought you’d be taller! Yes… I expected much taller…” he mused, brushing the dust off his armor. “And older. How old are you? Ten?!”

“I… Uh, I’m…” Toby stammered.

Merlin cocked an eyebrow at this.

“I’m sixteen, uh, sir?”

Merlin deflated a bit at this news. “I guess I was only off by… um, six plus four, carry the one…” he gestured in the air as he muttered to himself before his eyes grew wide, “fourteen YEARS!”

There was a pause while to the two stared at each other, and then… “HOLEE MERLIN, IT’S REALLY YOU!!” Toby exclaimed.

Merlin huffed. “Exactly what kind of troll are you?”

“I’m not a troll, I’m a Toby!”

[twofacedm1lkshake]

stupid sleepy monster high (g1) rant

ok so i decided for funzies to try to design what period accurate monster high dolls would look like (like draculara as how she would have been when she first became a vampire, etc.) and it just hit me just how loose Mattel seems to play with history because this is ridiculous

ok so first with draculara, her wiki states that she is approximately 1600 years old (idk if she counts human years or not, so i’ll be kinda loosey goosey with that)

that sets her birth year approximately at 410 ad aka the fall of the roman empire. ok that's kinda weird since her dad is a roman soldier and dracula is a roman soldier in G1lore. kinda neat that they do acknowledge the fact that she and her mother got ill, as that was one of the factors to why, along with that at the time Romania would be a colony (or possibly ex colony). That’s cool, i love how they included that for kids learning more about history as a way to kinda connect the story with real life historical events! One thing though,

WHY THE FUCK IS CLEO 5800 PLUS YEARS OLD??!!!

This puts her birth year at about 3800 BCE if my (admitedly poor) search skills are correct the stone age ended about 5000 years ago, bitch is older than the bronze age, older than the first dynasty of eygpt!! She was born smack dab in the middle of the indus valley civilization!

she is approximatly 1000 years older than the pyramids themselves!

the most annoying thing is that she is based off of Cleopatra,  who was around closer to draculara’s time than Cleo’s! its not like the Ptolomys are low on cleopatras to base her on, just shove her in there. It makes no sense to have her be that old, its insane!

I get that its for kids and its 100000% not actually that deep but when trying to find a reference for that shit? Awful do not recommend.

[yeongwonie]

yeona can u do moots as characters from ur works?

OFC <33 this sounds like a lot of fun so tyvm for sending it in! ^^ i can alr tell u there are gonna be like 5 different jungwons all from different works....

@youta as sunoo (stupid cupid)! loml naya gives really really good advice (even if they're not that great at taking it themselves) and is the type of friend i can bully but in a fun way :( they would be the only person to tell me straight up that i'm stupid instead of sugarcoating and would probably also do some dumb matchmaking shit like sunoo did in the beginning just for funzies....

@yyunari as ni-ki (cat & dog)! nari seems dumb at first but she's a very caring person most of the time... also very energetic like nari is one of the only people who will always reply to ur texts with 100% energy and effort! something about u just reminds me of niki like i don't even know how to explain it... i can imagine u making a whole plot to stalk taehyun bc u wanna know if he's dating y/n too

@heeracha as chaeryoung (stupid cupid)! robi is my #1 hype woman!! genuinely one of the best people to vent to like she will match ur anger and probably be even more angry than u and threaten to jump anyone who angers u... 10/10 supportive friend and i would burn down a building with her if she asked me to any day

@chiyuv as jungwon (lost cause)! cael is just so classmates to lovers like,, probably one of the smartest people i know and the way she speaks always sounds so intelligent. i can imagine caelin and i being grouped up for a class project and being the only two in our group doing any work...! woman in stem fr!

@jungwonize as hueningkai (stupid cupid)! sai is one of the funniest people i know but also knows when to be serious, and when he is, it can be very comforting! the duality!! another amazing hypeman like sai goes along with my delusions which is probably not great for me but it’s a lot of fun....

@fairybangtan as jungwon (cat & dog)! NANA :0 nana is so sweet and supportive and aghhhh!! u seem slightly more reasonable than ni-ki in this smau but i feel like u would still go along with his weird ass stalking investigation plan into taehyun's love life just for fun and also so he doesn't get into trouble...

@ilynaevis as ryujin (stupid cupid)! jia is such a fun person to talk to, she just checks all of the boxes like she's sweet, funny, genuine, just overall a 10/10 jia i am ur biggest fan. jia and i r married like ryujin and y/n (REAL confirmed true)

@hwangsify as sunoo (under the flaming sky)! something about the way irene speaks is so eloquent and regal so i could totally imagine her in a royal au (especially as a member of the royal family). very welcoming and comforting energy (and also u have a piano player aura so i could totally imagine you playing piano with me in your palace <3)

@enaus as taehyun (cat & dog)! ely is so nice to talk to and such a sweet person i could cry ㅠㅠ also very studious and hardworking, putting a lot of effort into everything she does which is something i rly admire! i feel like she would be very level-headed but also would still know how to have fun and let loose ^^

@enhyphoria as jungwon (stupid cupid)! i see aya as a very reasonable person who thinks things through before acting and would probably be very good at listening and giving advice! and also they have a rly calming aura somehow ^^ if i were stupid cupid y/n i would go to aya for advice on how to keep myself from losing my mind at how stupid sunghoon is...

[adamarks]

Food = lurv: a baby meta

This meta’s less prediction/deep analysis based than my other ones. A lot of people message me or comment on my other analyses saying that they don’t look for all of the subtext in these books. I kinda find this to be a shame because Rainbow obviously puts a lot of work into her symbolism and themes. So, here we are. Analyzing for funzies. Cause I’m a fuckin’ nerd. 

Let’s go!

First off, let’s talk about food and sex in literature in general. 

A book I favor is How to Read Literature Like a Professor by Thomas C. Foster. If you’re lookin to enhance your analysis skillz I highly recommend it. It’s, for the most part, fairly easy to read and it gives plenty of easy-to-understand examples from recent books or pop culture. 9/10 would recommend. Anywho. The second chapter of this book is dedicated entirely to eating within the confines of storytelling. 

“whenever people eat or drink together, it’s communion.” 

Rainbow does not stray from that rule. (”rule” in a loose sense. this is writing we’re talking about-- everything is a symbol unless it’s not, and nothing is symbolic until it is. It’s not an exact science.) 

Baz, Penny, and Simon all snack together in their room right after the truce is made. Baz, Penny, Simon, and Shepard all eat pizza together during their first night of “okay fine we won’t ditch you, nosy bitch.” 

Food is communion for everyone on this earth. Not in the Christian sense but in the “you’re not bad i can hang out and eat with you” sense. First dates at a restaurant, grabbing some food with your friends, sitting down for a big family meal on special holidays, food is a deeply important part of every culture. As Foster says in his food chapter, “I’m with you, I like you, we form a community together.” 

Rainbow doesn’t just use food as shorthand for community, though. She also uses it to let us know that the characters in question trust each other. Not just any character, though. Food as trust is very specifically tacked onto Baz. 

Because of his fangs, Baz doesn’t eat in front of anyone. This is why it was such a big deal when he ate while Simon watched him in Carry On. It’s also why he’s shown immediately eating around Lamb. It’s why you got so upset when Lamb betrayed Baz. The shorthand for trust immediately put you in a place where you trusted him too.

Baz getting ready to eat a raw-ass steak in front of his tiny family was a big deal too. Not only was the food batshit, but he didn’t even give it a second thought. He trusts them implicitly, without a grain of doubt in his head. 

alright, alright alright, you say. So it’s trust and friendship. So like, friendship intimacy? we already knew they were all best friends. why am i reading a lit analysis what

Listen, man. Idk why you’re reading a lit analysis in your free time. That’s your problem. Also you’re buckshit WRONG because it’s not just platonic intimacy!

Food is used very specifically as romantic intimacy in Carry On. 

This is why Agatha stops eating lunch with them when Simon and her break up. This is why Baz and Simon eat together after chapter 61 and after Simon comes back after leaving with Penny and Agatha. It’s them cementing their newly developing relationship before our eyes. It’s why they sneak off to get sandwiches at the dance. Food is romantic love when it comes to these two.

Y’all, we didn’t see them eating all alone together once in Wayward Son.

It’s because Simon’s scared of romantic intimacy right now. It’s because they’re not communicating. It’s because their relationship is completely sexless at the moment. It’s because the relationship is stuck and it doesn’t get unstuck by the end of the book. (Which is not a bad thing. Rainbow is handling this very well, in my humble opinion.)

The dumb fucks don’t get to eat dessert until they talk to each other, basically. 

Now, listen. I’m not sure where I was going with this one. I had no real goal in mind. I just really like food/intimacy metaphors; they really bake my potato I’m gonna be real. I have no deep reveal of the theme of the series like i did in my wings meta; I didn’t answer how we know their relationship is gonna get fixed like i did here; and i didn’t posit any wack ass theories like i did here. Or answer the mysterious scarf question.

All I really wanted was to talk about how sweet the three of them eating at the Cheesecake Factory was and to say that Simon and Baz are gonna share a soft quiet meal in AWTWB. Truly this was nothing special.

Thank you for reading though. I hope you read the book and get the warm fuzzies every time they eat from now on. 

Wait. I need to end this analysis the way I’ve ended all my other ones.

THEY’RE TENDER AND IN LOVE AND THEY’RE GONNA GET MARRIED ONE DAY WHAT THE FUCK. The End.

Idk why you people wanted to see this but i’ll tag ya anyway.

@theflyingpeach @singerofsimplesongs @oh-pitch-please @birdybabybird @teaandinanity @sadcactusboii

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Reviews: The Trickening!

Halloween Havoc continues! Louie’s greed and lack of concern for his brother’s feelings or well thought out schedule leads them to a real life haunted house with vampire clowns, dummies, a scary well lady and a gelatinous cube. Because there’s’es always room for gelatinous cube. Meanwhile Della wants to use Launchpad’s dangerous misconceptions about halloween to traumatize children for funzies and Donald had a problem with that for some reason. Also Scrooge is kind of an asshole on Halloween it turns out. No one is suprised. Ghosts, goblins, and full review with spoilers under the cut. 

Happy halloween month everybody! Halloween Havoc, aka my spate of halloween reviews continues as I roll into my first actual halloween episode review of the season! Yeah weird but so far we’ve covered demons getting exorcisims, little girls thinking they can raise the dead, and a horrifying plauge guided by the human incarnation of all that is evil, but not the actual holliday itself. Weird ain’t it? Well that changes with this so as always pitter patter. 

It’s HALLOWEEN here in duckberg, and the mansion kids are planning Trick or Treating. Natural given Huey’s OCD, he has everything planned out a and naturally the kids all have unique and adorable costumes. Huey is gizmoduck, though with a GK instead of  GD, a nice nod to “New Gizmokids on the BLock’ From the original series, an episode I haven’t seen but have heard of so theres that. It’s also because he likely wants to be Fenton’s kid sidekick which.. yeah please do that show. It’d be so fucking adorable. Plus Huey needs to be happy for once without having to go through a gauntlet of misery first. Let my boy be happy. +

Anyways Dewey’s is rather disapointing as it’s a “pirate on vacation” which while hilarious and very dewey, is kind of an anti-climax after months of speculation. Webby is some kind of ancient demon king as apparently in the duckverse the origins of halloween are based on appeasing various monsters, and this is so she can hide from them effectively. And Louie.. is Huey. Which means putting on Huey’s hat and a terribly insulting impression of him. 

Meanwhile Donald and Della are an angel and a devil, with, which I didn’t realize until a tumblr post, Della’s costume being the one one of the boys wore in the classic disney trick or treat short. So that’s a nice nod. Donald wants to nicely give out candy while Della wants to terrify the children. Both end up disapointed as Scrooge instead boots everyone from the house and locks the mansion gates, as he doesn’t like giving out handouts which.. yeah that tracks. 

As it turns out Scrooge also has his own plans.. which are gloriously ludicrous, sounding like something Glomgold would do: He’s going to go trick or treating himself, as when he was a boy, this was the one time of year a poor lad like him could get treats and he worked his tail off to do so and wants to prove he’s still got it. And as we see later SOMEHOW he still gets candy. It’s like if THIS was actually sucessful. 

I would genuinely not be suprised if Scrooge too hadn’t tried to get an oil well from an elementary school this way. As for leaving candy out he leaves out an empty take one bowl which is as clever as it is douchey. So in other words Scrooge in a nutshell. So with handing out treats and scares at the house a non-option, Della and Donald go to see what Launchpad’s doing since Beakly.. is.. I have no fucking idea. NO I really don’t, she shows up for the ending, but before that? If they mentioned where she was I clearly missed it because she’s just.. missing for most of the episode and given every other member of the main cast is accounted for this episode, it’s VERY noticable. Give her more to do dangit!

So yeah we get our two plots, which i’ll cover seperately, then cover the ending where they dovetail together. Kay? Kay. 

The Kid’s Plot centers around Huey and Louie.. specifically Louie wanting to go to a real life haunted house while Huey, as mentinoed has heavily established plans for their night. As for why Louie would go into danger, well as usual for when he does that theirs something in it for him: Rumor has it no kid has ever made it out with their candy.. thus leaving decades worth of candy just waiting to be nabbed and thus never having to trick or treat again. One big score for a payoff.. which didn’t make a lot of sense on first thought and my best guest is whatever preservative Gyro used for Oxy Chew, since it was still edible decades later, was probably spread to other candies since there’s no way in hell Scrooge would pass up a zillion dollar invention like that. Either way works.  Huey is outvoted as Dewey naturally wants the excitment and Webby wants to see if her demon costume works on actual demons. However things quicklky go wrong as they ecoounter a dewey dummy and a killer dummy, as well as a monster clown and a gelatonous cube, which yes. I may not play DnD but I love these things. 

The kids escape the house by accident while tryign to escape and Louie, still being a dick about things, finds out Huey DID know abotu the stash btu avoided it and Louie lays into Huey.. a bit much honestly, feeling he was agaisnt it purely because it wasn’t on schedule.. when you know, Louie could’ve asked to put it on schedule or actually given a damn about this, especially since Huey’s planned their trick or treats EVERY YEAR, so he’s had a full year to ask for this insane idea, or even the short time he’s known about it if shorter. Sure huey might of sputtered a bit, but Louie knows his other siblings, Webby and Dewey could convince him to loosen up and include the house. Louie’s just being kind fo a selfish dick here.. however i’ts not so overwhelming as to overpower the episode, as he has been before and while he should know better about risking his family’s lives after “Timephoon!” it is in character for him to protiize a big score like this over other people’s feelings and it’s not even the first time this season he’s done that. So fair enough. 

But we soon get the second best reveal of the episode: As the kids are backed into a corner by monsters.. they grumble theres no candy and it turns out the monsters.. ARE REAL.. but their traditional monsters like frankenstein, dracula, and the bride of frankenstein, just dressed up like this to scare kids. As it turns out the WHOLE THING is an elaborate yearly scooby doo hoax to get kids candy, with the brilliant twist it’s done by actual monsters> As the vampire points out they can’t exactly shop during the day.. or he can’t at least, so this is how they get candy for the year.. at tribute if you will. Also the Gelationous Cube gets a nice hat as you see above. It’s a REALLY clever twist and I absolutely love it. I DID NOT see it coming and even with some spoiler screenshots I thankfully did not have it spoiled for me. REALLY good stuff. 

As for why Huey’s been so obessed with his planning.. it’s actually really clever and really good character stuff: Huey simply got really into it because back when they were with donald this WAS their adventure for the year: the one time he let them cut loose and have fun, and he got a real kick out of it.. and Louie getting candy for life kind of destroys that. And that’s why Louie still works here.. because he instnatly realizes from this that was the problem and apologizes in his own way. It’s a nice bit of character from both: We’ve rarely had their pre-mansion lives factor in and it’s nice to see it for a change, and it’s nice to see Louie isn’t all dick, just like 20% dick. Unforutnately having no candy dosen’t appease the monsters who are pissed and descend on the kids.. until.. well for the until we have to back up a bit.  So onto the adult plot we go! Della and Donald go to Launchpad whose dressed in a jason mask and ash williams/jason coveralls, weilding a power sander and having barricaded his place. After he scares some children, a bit too much, and Della and Donald are reallyd amn confused, he explains.. and we get the best reveal of the episode.. which given the above is saying something but it’s clear like the “blath” gag in “Astro BOYD” and the non-anthro ducks gag last week, this is one of those things Frank has been keeping under his hat all series.  So as a boy Launchpad crashed his tryke into the mansion, ran into the monsters after reading off a candy wrapper.. and now assumes he unleashed a horde of monsters onto the world every halloween.. and tha’ts what he assumes the trick or treaters are. I just .. dont’ have a lto of words. This is pure comedy gold and easily the best gag of the episode and oen fo the best of the series. It’s clever, fresh, and really fits the character. Naturally Della wants to exploit this to terrify children ebcause she has underlying issues to adress while Donald tries to stop her. Thankfully before Della can get launchpad to scar children for life, Scrooge shows up and fights launchpad.. it’s part of why I also find scrooge’s dickery acceptable as launchpad beats the shit out of him.. it’s still an even fight, as not to suspend disbelief, but Scrooge still looses. I mean he gets out of being trapped in his candy bag easily because scrooge btu still, props to launchpad. So Launchpad decides to go face his fears and Donald and Della decide to stop him before he doesd a muder on a child.  Which leads to an AMAZING climax as Launchpad scooby doo chases the scared monsters around as they have no idea what the fuck’s going on and hte monsters end up really enjoying his scar eof htem and bowing to the master. It’s a good way to end it. After Della explains what’s going on, Louie and Huey decide to explain halloween to Launchpad by taking him to the once house he hasn’t been: the Manor. Scrogoe has finally opened it up, with a line of kids no less, the monsters bond with some kids in line. As for why.. as Webby sadly figures out Scrooge is charging admission, thakns to dewey who thought an all night candy store was a good idea which.. yeah it is. So everyone gets a happye ending and the monsters hang a photo of hte night up in the mansion. A really sweet ending, pun uintended but eh it’s welcome. 

Final Thoughts.  Easily one fo the series best. While the characters are a bit exagerated in places, i.e. della, launchpad , scrooge and louie, it works for the plot well enough and the jokes well enough to make it okay. My only real complaint is a lack of even a cameo from Lena and Violet, as it feels weird to not even have htem in the ending, much less trick or treating with their friends. It just feels odd and could’ve used a throaway line. I get WHY not , as Lena even pre-blue would’ve destoryed the tension with the monsters, but it still feeels really weird to not have them. But it’s a minor quibble in an otherwise REALLY funny and creative episode and a fun halloween treat to revist every year from now on. Really good work.  That does it for this week. For more halloween treats, follow this blog throughout october. So far i’ve done reviews of Demonicsim from Star Vs The Forces of Evil for Tomtober, Croaked, the Casagrandes day of the dead Special and the first of Marvel’s mini-series adapting Stephen’ King’s epic novel The Stand. And until next monday, or sooner if you decide to check any of that out, happy halloween!

[askfriskandcompany]

Does that mean Dracula is real to? And if so, is he still alive?

Dracula in AFAC is only a literary character that’s loosely based on Vlad the Impaler, just like in real life. However plenty of vampires have taken on the moniker of Dracula for funzies.

-TQ

[dingoes8myrp]

Salty ask list: BtVS, (5, 6, 11)

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

Buffy/Riley. I actually really liked their pairing in the show because it was a change of pace for Buffy that was healthy. I also liked that Riley was just a regular guy who could hold his own alongside the others. As soon as they made that into a “Oh, he was altered ‘cause Initiative drugs” thing it all went downhill from there. I disliked the direction the pairing went in, but I had really liked it in the beginning. However, apparently it’s one of the most hated ships in the fandom and I don’t really understand why. I personally think both Bangel and Spuffy are very unhealthy (each in different ways) and I can’t fathom why they seem to be the favored pairings. From a storytelling standpoint, I can see the appeal of Bangel. There was a lot they didn’t pursue with that relationship, loose ends never tied up. And these two always seem to come back to each other or compare their future partners to one another. Spuffy has a taboo thing about it that I can see the appeal of. And there’s the break down and rebuild of Buffy, and the redemption of Spike wrapped up in there too. Again, from a storytelling standpoint. I can see why people find Spuffy and Bangel more compelling stories to write. But, I can’t understand why people outright loathe Riley/Buffy (Ruffy? Is there a name for them?) prior to the downward spiral after they took away his magic Initiative fighting skills (because I agree, after that he got kind of possessive and weird and I didn’t like it). If anyone wants to weigh in on this and enlighten me I’m all ears.

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

Spuffy and Fuffy. Spuffy on the show always made me cringe for personal reasons, but I’ve seen so many compelling fandom discussions about them as a couple that I’ve come around to it. I still don’t like the way the show portrayed the pairing, but I like a lot of the fanfiction people have written about it. I have a bunch of recs bookmarked I’ll get to once I get some free time to read them and I’ll shout ‘em out when I get there. Fuffy was one that didn’t occur to me the first time I watched it, but on a rewatch I at least had the feeling that Faith had some confusing feelings toward Buffy and Buffy didn’t know what to do with it. However, I’ve read some compelling analyses and fanfics and I think it’s an interesting pairing.

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

I think Xander and Riley get an unfair shake. They’re not my favorites, but I think (for the most part) they’re well-developed characters with flaws who try their best. I have a hard time when people talk about Xander or Riley being misogynistic or what have you for a smattering of comments or scenes, and yet justifying Spike and Angel doing far worse things. The two arguments don’t mesh to me. Yes, Xander can be an ass. Yes, Riley can be insecure and annoying. However, Angel used to torture and murder people for funzies and Spike also used to murder people for funzies and both have at one point actively tried to harm Buffy. But, I digress. 

Xander was a troubled kid with an unhealthy homelife that was neglectful at best and abusive at worst (we’re never really sure quite how bad it is). He had a broken model of how to treat women to work off of, mimicking what he saw at home. You can actually see him evolve out of this season by season. Someone wrote a wonderful analysis of this and I don’t remember who it was (@luscious2it might have been you, and if not you might have seen this too and know who it was). They talked about how Xander acts the way he thinks a “real man” should act, with all his bluster and objectification of women, but when he’s actually put in the position to act on these things it’s not at all how he feels (one of the examples given was during Bewitched, Bothere and Bewildered when Buffy comes onto him and he’s almost horrified). If you’re the person who wrote that thing please comment or reblog and link because I’d do so and credit you if I could find it! Anyway, I’ve known people from similar backgrounds in real life and I think Xander is realistically written. He’s not perfect, nor is he meant to be. But, there are also a lot of moments like the one toward the end of The Zeppo where he was selflessly going to sacrifice himself and he was a hero and he never bragged, never told a soul. Or the pep talk with Dawn at the end of Potential. To me he has so much more good to him than bad, and the bad is stuff he works on as a person. So why he’s loathed so hard I don’t understand. 

Riley was in an unfair position, it’s true. He was the guy filling the void of Angel. Those were big shoes to fill and, in my opinion, nobody could do the job. So, Riley was at a disadvangage there from the beginning. However, Riley was a stable guy, reliable and respectful. When he was confident and secure with himself he wasn’t overbearing or jealous (except that one time with Angel, but Angel wasn’t entirely innocent during that whole ordeal either). He supported Buffy and got along with her friends - he made an effort to get along with her friends and her family. As a boyfriend, he was pretty solid for a while there. As a character, he could have been better developed. I don’t think we got enough time with him. The big problem with him in my opinion is a lack of layers. We know him as Buffy’s boyfriend and eventually Initiative Operative, but we don’t know much about where he came from and who he is. When something happened to challenge that (finding out the whole Initiative thing was a lie) we had an opportunity to delve really deeply into his character and instead he was villainized and unceremoniously written out. That all sucks and isn’t Riley’s fault. He had a lot of potential and we didn’t get to see enough of it. I feel he was a victim of bad writing and a tough position to fill.

[dingoes8myrp]

Orange is the New Black: The Road So Far

Now that I’ve finished the fifth season, here are my thoughts on the show.

For the most part, I feel like this season was 80% filler, 2% character development, 8% set-up, and 10% compelling story.

I should mention, as a viewer and as a reader, I loathe filler. I’m a minimalist. I probably write this way, too. I like every piece of dialogue, every description, every scene, to either move the story forward or give important information. I like to be constantly moving or thinking. My perfect movie, episode, or book is one where I’m captivated and engrossed. And this doesn’t have to be a high-octane thriller either. Really, it just has to keep me moving or keep my brain working. I lose interest in books with paragraphs and paragraphs of detailed descriptions (George R. R. Martin and Cassandra Clare). I tune out of shows or movies with a lot of side-stories with no real bearing on the main arc (The Vampire Diaries and Game of Thrones), or with a lot of expositional dialogue and unnecessarily long shots (The Walking Dead). I’m not a fan of old Westerns with their wide, expositional shots and slow-moving stories (3:10 to Yuma). However, I’m captivated by mysteries and thrillers with unsettling suspense (The Killing and Gone Girl). I love a story that focuses on character development even when the plot doesn’t move much (Titanic and Lost). Just an aside so anyone reading understands where I’m coming from before I get into the nitty-gritty of this.

Season 5 of Orange is the New Black wasn’t bad. It was well-written, and some of the performances were absolutely amazing. Danielle Brooks (Taystee), Uzo Aduba (Suzanne), Selenis Leyva (Gloria), Elizabeth Rodriguez (Aleida), and Brad William Henke (Piscatella) were particularly stand-out for me. However, there is a stylistic difference in the later seasons of the show versus the earlier ones. The first two seasons in particular were well-paced with a steady arc and compelling characters. I couldn’t stop watching because I felt like I was being pulled through the story by what was unfolding. Last season and this season in particular felt different: drawn out and inconsistently paced with an overarching story that was muddled and unclear. I believe this trend began in season 3. Seasons 1 and 2 focused on Piper’s arc as the main story with everyone else’s stories revolving around it, much like the spoke method used by Seinfeld. Other stories and characters were artfully folded into this main arc, but Piper was the show’s heart: the lens through which we viewed the world. Gradually, other characters came into the spotlight with Piper. Dayanara’s relationship with Bennett became its own strong story. Nicky’s battle with addiction and her relationship with Morello became a compelling story on its own. Meanwhile other characters became near and dear to us through compelling personal arcs: Taystee with her dynamic personality and her drive, Red with her no-nonsense Alpha vibe and maternal role, Suzanne with her troubling but endearing quirks, and of course Alex with her anti-hero road-to-redemption arc. There was a nice structure and momentum to the first two seasons that made me feel grounded, and managed to reveal layers of individual characters while balancing a few different side-stories without losing sight of that main grounding arc.

Season 3 began to lose this balance. The departures of Bennett and Mendez drastically changed Dayanara’s story and took something away from the dynamic of the guards. Nicky’s stint in Max left Morello with nothing to do and removed an entire layer of story from a lot of other arcs Nicky was involved in. Larry was ultimately written out of the story, which removed a complication from Piper that made her relationship with Alex less dramatic (so other plot elements were added, presumably to keep the drama going). Meanwhile new characters were introduced or focused on, and those characters didn’t have two seasons of story under their belts to help them carry the weight. As a result, we started getting these “filler” episodes that focused on an underdeveloped character to sort of catch them up to everyone else (i.e. Boo in “Finger in the Dyke,” Flaca in “Fake it Till you Fake it Some More,” Chang in “Ching, Chong, Chang,” basically the bulk of the episodes). We were introduced to a whole new cast of characters and their stories while the characters we’d gotten to know took a back seat. While I appreciated some of these episodes individually, I didn’t appreciate them as a part of the whole. Pulling so many new or background characters into the spotlight so quickly created a need to hit “Pause” on a number of stories and slowed down the show’s momentum.

Seasons 4 and 5 continued this trend of introducing or expanding characters, but also reintroduced characters that had been minimalized or written out. This has bloated the story to the point where it’s difficult to discern the main arc or to keep up with all the side stories and character arcs. We’re picking up threads of stories that were back-burnered trying to remember where we left off while some newly introduced stories are put on pause and some even newer stories are being set up. There’s just way too much going on, and the 10% of it I’m actually invested in has gotten lost in the shuffle. Aleida being released from prison was a big deal at one point, and I was very interested to see how she adjusted to life outside. However, a very small amount of screen time was spent on this compelling story and instead Aleida’s role became relative to Dayanara’s story (which stopped being compelling as soon as she lost the gun). Alex killed a man and buried him in the garden and that somehow wasn’t even in the top 5 storylines. It was just something we were reminded of every few episodes through expositional dialogue, presumably so we didn’t forget that this was once an important plot point. Poussey, a beloved main character, was horrifically killed. Instead of the fallout becoming the main story, as was set up in season 5’s premiere, it somehow became a setting in itself rather than a plot. This is actually something I’ve seen in other shows, where a character’s death becomes a part of the atmosphere (Sons of Anarchy and Outsiders come immediately to mind). However, if Poussey’s death wasn’t the overarching plot, and the riot it caused wasn’t the overarching plot… then what the hell was? I still don’t know.

My major problem with season 5 is that it took way too long for anything to move forward in a significant way, and when it did everything happened all at once. Red, Lorna, and Suzanne are all competing for Little Miss Crazypants of Litchfield. Piscatella’s in the house and he’s also throwing his hat in the Crazypants ring with a side of torture just for funzies. Humps died and no one seemed to give a shit despite his death being a BIG FUCKING DEAL because all the negotiations between the inmates and the gun-toting officers hinge on the fact that no one has died, and because a beloved character shot the guy while another blew into his I.V. for shits and giggles, and another whole shit load of characters fought like hell to save him. All but one of the remaining guards got out, which was also a big deal. An overzealous S.W.A.T. team stormed the prison. I mean, Jesus, we couldn’t have spaced this out a bit to make the previous 8 episodes more interesting? As entertaining as it was to watch Angie and Leanne fuck around like Lucy and Ethel, I really didn’t need as much of it as I was given and I would have loved more of Alex or Almeida or even Pennsatucky. As fun as Linda as an inmate was, that was an entire storyline I could have done without in the grand scheme. Brook’s grieving was super compelling and we barely got any time with her. 

This brings me to my secondary problem with season 5, which was the fact that a number of compelling stories and characters got lost in everything going on. Lorna got pregnant and doubted her sanity while playing fast and loose with everyone’s medications. Burset became a badass MacGyver style medic and then disappeared for the rest of the season when she could have been super useful to have around. Pennsatucky engaged in a consensual relationship with her rapist and somehow that wasn’t the most interesting thing going on. Bayley was having a straight up mental breakdown because of his role in Poussey’s death and it’s just a side story we get a glimpse of here and there. Instead of focusing on any of this, we spent a lot of screentime watching Caputo and Taystee negotiate with Figueroa. We followed Leanne and Angie around while they decreased our brain cells with their stupidity. We hung out with Red and Flores in an office for some reason. We watched Frieda and company smoke pot in a bunker because why the hell not? We watched Boo court Linda despite the fact that her friend Pennsatucky was clearly in need of some sort of support. We watched Piper walk around talking to people while Alex rolled her eyes (legit, that is the extent of their plot this season as far as I can tell).

Oh my God, that ending. Really?? You’re going to cram all the good stuff into the last 3 episodes and then end with a fucking cliffhanger? Not an earned one, either. This reminded me of the end of season 6 of The Walking Dead. Whatever impact the S.W.A.T. team storming into the bunker is going to have, they just cut it in half by making us wait a year to finish watching that fucking scene. I’m not a fan of that trick. So, they could kill off anyone in the bunker and they’re shipping the bulk of the cast elsewhere (“probably not max” is all we know). So, does this mean we’re going to be splitting our screen time between THREE different settings next season? Or does it mean virtually ALL of our beloved characters are being written out? Either way, it doesn’t look good.

All told, while this wasn’t a bad season, I felt like we were focusing on all the wrong things, and it slowed everything down while hurting the flow and momentum of the other stories. Not my favorite season by far.