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ts-unpopular-opinions · 4 years

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Side Tracks opinions part 1: Janus

(Yes I’m staring with Janus and going backwards, I just need to talk about this snake man right now!)

Alright, I’ve seen lots of people give their takes on each of the sides playlists, and honestly... I feel like they’re not all that similar to my interpretations. I mean yes anyone can interpret the songs how they’d like, but some people just flat out ignore canon to see the songs as their ship instead of what I believe they are actually meant to be seen as. Anyways... Janus! Yes let’s go through each song one by one 💛

1) Black Hole Sun: I’ll admit this one was hard for me. The song is obviously so Janus, with plenty of references to snakes and lying, but I can’t seem to put a finger on the exact meaning. If I had to guess, it’s showing Janus’ fist instance of fearing society. He’s realized that the world is not a safe place for Thomas and no one can be trusted (“Times are gone for honest men” “no one sings like you anymore”). He longs for the ignorance of childhood when society didn’t seem to pose a threat and Thomas wasn’t aware of the dangers and lies it held, but he knows that someone has to protect him from it, and that is Janus (“my youth I pray to keep” “hang my head, drown my fear”).

2) Seemed the Better Way: To me, this is a song about Janus knowing his place as a dark side and knowing that the others will not listen to him (“I better hold my tongue” “better take my place”). He initially trusts the core sides to do what needs to be done and take care of Thomas adequately, but when he realizes that it isnt enough, he finds it hard to keep in hiding (“Seemed the better way” “now it’s much too late to turn the other cheek”).

3) Anywhere: A BIG middle finger to society (“It’s a beautiful world, if youve been lied to” “No no no, nothing in this world is beautiful”). Janus basically trusts no one in society, not even the people closest to Thomas because he believes that everyone will do whatever it takes to get what they want (“Every man standing on another man’s back”). He also believes that society has been a huge detriment to Thomas and, AGAIN, is very dangerous (“It’s the world’s excuse for being disfigured and lying to you”).

4) Talking at the same time: This song is about Virgil. The song begins with explaining that a hard time for one person can be a triumph for another in multiple different metaphors (“Umbrellas cost more in the rain” “hard times for some, for others its sweet” “someone makes money when theres blood in the street”). The next part of the song practically shoves it in your face that it’s about virgil leaving (“Well she told me she would leave me, I ignored all the signs” “I know you're leaving and there's no more next time”). Janus was clearly hurt by Virgil leaving and it seems like he was almost in denial about it happening. A line near the end of the song that I found particularly interesting was “Well we bailed out all the millionaires, They've got the fruit, We've got the rind”. This line to me shows that Janus and the other dark sides let Virgil go, possibly in an attempt to get all of the dark sides accepted. Virgil capitalized on this opportunity and of course, got accepted, however, he left the others behind. Despite wanting Virgil to get accepted by the light sides, Janus remains bitter that Virgil was the only one. Virgil got the fruit, and the rest of the dark sides got the rind.

5) All the Good Girls go to Hell: Janus believes that Thomas needs to listen to him if he is going to stay safe and healthy. He thinks that his assistance, above all other sides, expecially Patton, is crucial for survival in this messed up world. (“And once the water starts to rise, And heaven's out of sight, She'll want the devil on her team” “Look at you needing me”). You’ll find it a common theme in this playlist that Janus refers to himself as the devil or an evil entity of some sort... Just thought I’d point that out.

6) Denial: Well, its in the title folks! Thomas is (or was) in denial. Janus is aware of the moments when Thomas thinks about consulting him or using one of his functions, but almost as soon as he gets the idea, he drops it and acts like the thought never happened (“Don't just shut your eyes closed” “You know that I can hear you thinking, I've heard you all the way from here, But if I look you in the eye though, It's like your thoughts all disappear”). Thomas is struggling for answers to questions that only Janus can answer, but he refuses to listen to consult him and Janus desperately wants this to stop (“I know you're looking for direction, I know where you wanna go” “Please don't turn the light out, I don't think the conversation's over”).

7) Trust in Me: Obviously, the original song has much more sinister undertones, but when listening to the song from Janus’ perspective, I get a different vibe. Basically, Janus just wants Thomas to trust him and give him more reign over decision making. Not much for this one.

8) Razzle Dazzle: JANUS IS EXTRA! Is anyone shocked? Also a HUGE showman. But again, no one’s surprised. Janus believes that the only way to get the light sides to listen to him is to practically put on a show to cover up whatever his true intentions are (“How can they see with sequins in their eyes?” “Razzle dazzle 'em And theyll never catch wise!” “How can they hear the truth above the roar?”) I could keep listing lines but theyre literally all just different versions of the same sentiment.

9) When the Chips are Down: The title right off the bat shows that, again, Janus believes that Thomas needs to look to him when important decisions are on the line. There are also a lump sum of jabs at patton in this song, lines like “Aim for the heart, shoot to kill” and “Cast your eyes to heaven, You get a knife in the back”. Theres also a lot of lines, yet again, of Janus practically begging Thomas to trust him and no one else (“Ain't nobody but yourself to trust” “Help yourself, To hell with the rest, Even the one who loves you best”).

10) Mandy goes to Med School: Soooo this one... Honestly, I don’t really have a lot. The original meaning of the song is not very applicable to Janus, so its a bit hard to pinpoint its meaning. The only thing I can think of is that Janus is again hating on society and the crazy things that people have to go through in it. If you weren’t aware, this song is about coat-hanger abortions.

11) I put a Spell on You: This one seems pretty striaghtforward to me. Janus knows that Thomas doesn’t want him, and it drives him up the wall, but he does what a snake boi does and slithers his way in anyways (“And I don't care if you don't want me, I'm yours right now” “I can't stand it 'cause you put me down”). I suppose you could argue that you could replace Thomas with Patton (mostly because daddy is used like 10 times in the song 😂) but a later song covers their realtionship extremely well.

12) Evil Night Together: Another toughie. My gut feeling is that this is a song about Remus and Janus just going out and having a wild night together. As I read into the lyrics more, though, it seems almost like Janus is doing this for Remus. Like he wants Remus to feel accepted and loved by him (something that can’t be said by Thomas). I just can’t read some of these lines without getting big Momceit vibes... i mean... theyre so supportive! “I'll hold your hand while they drag the river” “I'll cuddle you in the undertow” “I'll hold you close while they dust for prints”. Then theres of course this line... “Who's gonna make you a hero?” And to me, that is Janus saying that, if Thomas only sees Roman as his hero and not Remus, then it is Janus’ job to make Remus feel like a hero. Janus also saying “No need for cake or flowers” also feels like him reassuring Remus that he doesn’t need to be like his brother to be perfect and loved.

13) Don’t tell Mama: I think I’ve seen some people interpreting “mama” as Thomas in this song, but to me Patton seems like a better fit, especially after their interactions in the most recent episode. Basically this song is all about how Janus doesn’t mind people knowing about the bad things he does, but he can absolutely not have one person know. Janus seems to have grown a soft spot for Patton in the new episode and if you ask me, he would definately not want patton finding out about some of immoral things he’s wanted Thomas to do. I mean he literally waits for Patton to sink out and then the second he’s gone he starts scheming about pushing people down stairs and sabotage.

14) You’re a Cad: Another Virgil one, but this time it’s after Virgil’s acceptance. I think Janus has little faith in the beginning that Virgil would get far in his journey to the light side. Whether that is because of envy or just plain pessimism, I’m not sure, but he definately doubted Virgil would ever be able to escape his past (“So now you want the whole world to notice that you've come around, Now you expect, We'll see how you're really so much better now, But I know the truth” “What's the point pretending that you could be a better man, Just give in, since you always end up right back where you began”). Despite his reluctance to support Virgil’s endevors, Janus shows a softer side for Virgil that has gone completely untalked about in canon (“You're a rascal and a rogue, a villain and a crook, Still I tug at your line, I'm a fish on your hook” “Still I know the truth, but I have a sweet tooth for a Cad and a bounder, a dog and a cheap”). Janus really misses Virgil and I would go as far as to say that he regrets the things that he’s done to make Virgil want to leave (“I should be better, but I'm worse” “You're reckless with my heart, still I wait by the phone”).

15) As far as I can See: A sadie but a goodie. Janus doesn’t really understand love, but he’s sure that no one loves him (“As far as I can see Nobody loves me”). No one listens to him, no matter how much he shouts and cries. He doesn’t believe that anyone could love him if they are unwilling to hear him out and communicate with him (“As far as I can see, Nobody's listening” “And when I'm crying out, Nobody cries back for me”).

16) Criminal: AH MY FAVORITE SONG ON THE PLAYLIST! I LEGIT CRIED MY GUYS! Anyway. Janus LOVES Thomas. I would go as far to say that Janus loves Thomas more than any other side. Despite his lacking knowledge of love and what it feels like, he knows for a fact that what he feels for Thomas is the closest thing he will feel to love (“Because he's all I ever knew of love”). Now that thats out of the way, lets get to the juicy stuff... Janus feels like a criminal as he’s been taught over and over again that his opinions and thoughts are bad and harmful (“Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal” “I've done wrong and I wanna suffer for my sins”) This song is ultimately about Janus wanting to improve for Thomas, the one he loves the most. He knows that Thomas needs him, and the only way to get Thomas to listen is to get some help. Whose that help you might ask? Patton. Janus wants to be more helpful, but he doesnt know how. He’s envious of Patton’s ability to be accepted so easily, so he goes to him for advice (“I've come to you cause I need guidance to be true, And I just don't know where I can begin”). Janus wants to be redeemed in Thomas’ eyes, he wan’ts to escape the criminal appearance he’s been doomed to (“And I need to be redeemed, To the one I've sinned against”). He HATES some of the things he does to Thomas and some of the things he makes him think, but he doesn’t want to be forgiven, he believes that he deserves to be punished, but he still wants to get better for Thomas. He just doesn’t know how to do that (“Oh help me, but don't tell me to deny it, I've got to cleanse myself Of all these lies til I'm good enough for him”). Also, Janus sees Patton in a very very high place. He goes as far in this song to liken him to an angel while comparing himself, again, to the devil (“So what would an angel say, The devil wants to know”).

17) Change: The song is about, you guessed it, change! This to me is a continuation of the last song. Janus finally feels like things are changing in his favor (likely after the most recent episode). He was beginning to feel like there was no point in caring or trying, but now that he’s begining to see the light, he’s grown a bit hopeful (“Lately I've been thinking it's just someone else's job to care, Who am I to sympathize when no one gave a damn?” “Trying to find the power in me to be faithful” “Change is a powerful thing, I feel it coming in me”). With Patton’s help and acceptance, Janus is begining to feel worthy of Thomas again and begining to see the he has a voice (“Maybe by the time this song is done I’ll be able to be honest, capable, Of holding you in my arms without letting you fall when I don't feel beautiful Or stable”).

18) Devil in the Details: Janus worries again about his ability to help Thomas. He doesn’t believe that he can tell the difference between good and bad and he looks to Patton for that differentiation (“There was love I meant, there were accidents, So tell me which is which. 'Cause I just can't work it out” “I have, no way, of knowing,…”). There’s also an odd underlying message about doing something that he doesn’t want to do, but continues to do despite this and I’m not quite sure what that could be referring to (“And I know the cost, and I want to stop. But I can't do it, I just can't do it.”). It could simply be referring to him lying or deceiving others, but that seems too simple. I wish I had a better answer.

19) Come Little Children: ALSO MY FAVORITE SONG ON THE PLAYLIST! This is really big guys. This song practically confirms the fact that Janus was in charge of taking in and hiding the dark sides from Thomas (“Come little children, I'll take thee away Into a land of enchantment”). The song literally uses the phrase “My garden of shadows”, a clear metaphor for the hidden parts of Thomas’ mind where Janus keeps the dark sides. But it gets better... Janus pities these poor sides. He hates the way that society has forced them away from the light and into the shadows (“Follow sweet children, I'll show thee the way Through all the pain And the sorrows”). Not only does Janus feel bad for these sides and longs to protect them from the cruelness of the real world, but he LOVES them. He values every aspect of them and thinks they are beautiful and perfect. He cannot fathom why society wouldn’t also love see them this way and it frustrates him to hide such amazing traits from the world (“Weep not poor children For life is this way, Murdering beauty and passions”). Despite this sadness and dissapointment, Janus does his job and keeps the dark sides hidden away, knowing that society would never accept them for what they are (“Hush now dear children, It must be this way”).

20) Into the Unknown (no not the Frozen song): This song is VERY IMPORTANT. I have seen so many misinterpretations of this song, and granted mine could also be wrong, but please hear me out. This song comes right after the last song for a reason. The sides that Janus had once hidden away are now being shown to Thomas. He is literally going into the unknown (“Led through the mist, By the milk-light of moon, All that was lost, is revealed.” “Somewhere lost in the clouded annals of history, Lies a place that few have seen. A mysterious place, called The Unknown. Where long-forgotten stories are revealed to those who travel through the wood.”) Thomas is figuratively traveling through the wood by learning more about himself and traveling deeper into Janus’ previously mentioned Garden of Shadows. The song ends, beautifully framing Janus’ love for the sides he’s raised and hidden away, calling them “ The loveliest lies of all”....

(Ahhh! I’m sorry that was so long guys 😅 Thank you if you read the whole thing or evern part! I’d like to hear your opinions, so let me know 💛💛💛)

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #ts sanders sides #ts unpopular opinions #ts janus #janus sanders #janus playlist #ts side tracks #janus’ playlist #sanders sides playlist #long post #ts sidetracks

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riotwritesthings · 4 years

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Only a Phone Call Away (part 2)

WinterIron, E, 3.2k, teasing, phone sex, marathon sex, orgasm denial | AO3

Collaborator Name: Riot

StarkBucks Bingo Square Filled: O3, I Regret Nothing

Bucky Barnes Bingo Square Filled: C4, I Regret Nothing

Ship/Main Pairing: WinterIron

Rating: Explicit

Major Tags & Triggers: teasing, phone sex, marathon sex, orgasm denial

Summary: Tony is across the country for work, and then Bucky is across the world for a mission, but they always find a way to keep in touch. Even when Bucky would rather be without the distraction. (Now with chapter 2, featuring Bucky getting his Revenge)

Word Count: 3.2k

This is for the @buckybarnesbingo, @starkbucksbingo, and also for @yobucky, who is always very sweet and asked nicely. (You may not remember ok but I DO I REMEMBER ALL NICE TAGS)

Part 1 here!

Bucky almost doesn’t survive the flight home. He has his actual phone back, and the stream of messages from Tony is relentless, and there are photos, and Bucky is so glad no one thinks it’s weird that he sits himself in a far corner of the jet, all alone. Makes it easier to hide the way his face is burning, his pants tight and his breathing erratic.

Because the messages from Tony just don’t stop. Pictures of Tony’s bitten red lips wrapped around his fingers, pictures of his nipples pinched tight between those wet fingers. Pictures of his cock, angry red and leaking at the tip, dripping down the shaft. And mixed in, constant texts about how much Tony needs him, how empty he feels, promises to swallow Bucky’s cock down and then ride him into the ground.

Bucky is losing his mind. His phone is threatening to crack under the pressure of his grip and when the next photo comes through, two of Tony’s fingers buried in his ass, stretching himself open, Bucky can’t completely bite back his groan. ‘You better not cum without me’ he types out with shaking thumbs, vision a little blurry because Bucky is pretty sure his eyes are crossing.

There’s a tellingly long silence from Tony, and then a single text that says ‘HURRY.’

There’s nothing else, no more photos, no more texts, and after several minutes of tapping his fingers agitatedly against his thigh, Bucky sends ‘I didnt say to fuckin stop’

The next photo from Tony is four of his fingers shoved knuckle deep into his ass, stretched out so damn gorgeous, and then almost immediately a shot of Tony’s face, flushed and glowing, eyes blown out dark and wet, eyelashes in clumps and looking like a dream. Bucky is kind of impressed he doesn’t pass out from the lack of blood in his brain.

The landing takes entirely too long, Bucky is this close to just throwing himself out the windshield and based on the exasperated looks Steve keeps shooting him he’s not doing a very good job of hiding it. The doors are barely opened before Bucky is storming out and across the hanger, only one thing on his mind.

“We’re supposed to debrief!” Steve yells after him, but the tone of his voice says he doesn’t actually expect Bucky to stop, he just wants to be able to say he tried.

“Tell ‘em I agree with whatever you say,” Bucky calls over his shoulder carelessly, and it just goes to show exactly how desperate he is. Usually he makes a point of contradicting Steve as much as possible during debreifs, just for shits and giggles. Because he likes the way Tony’s eyes light up with that secret little grin whenever they team up to annoy Steve.

But Tony isn’t here right now. He’s just a couple floors away, waiting, sprawled out alone in that big empty bed and there is nowhere else in the world Bucky would rather be right now, not a damn thing that’s going to stop him from getting there. If he passes anyone in the hallways he’s not even aware of it and that should probably be concerning, but all he can think about is Tony.

By the time he makes it to their suite Bucky is panting for it like a fucking dog, and the sound of the bedroom door slamming against the wall when he shoves it open pairs so nicely with Tony’s loud, startled moan.

“Fuck,” Bucky groans and his legs almost give out as his cock throbs painfully. “You- fuck-“

Tony is face down on the bed in just a shirt that’s clearly Bucky’s, hips propped up and bare ass in the air, fingers still working inside himself with a wet, filthy squelching sound. “Bucky,” Tony gasps out, voice cracking and desperate, “honey, please-“

Bucky is across the room in an instant, barely pausing long enough to drop his belt at the edge of the bed and then shoving his pants down his hips, already so hard he’s aching with it as he climbs up onto the mattress behind Tony. There’s a bottle of lube abandoned beside Tony, cap still open, leaking onto the blankets, and Bucky scoops it up without giving a second thought to the mess. He’s planning on making more of a mess.

“Fuck sweet thing, what a sight you make,” Bucky breathes out, reaching out to run his flesh hand up the back of one shaking thigh, over the swell of Tony’s ass. So much golden skin soaked in sweat and glowing and it’s been too long since Bucky last got his hands on him. Tony practically quivers under his palm, pulling his fingers free with a soft, pleading whine and it takes all of Bucky’s self control not to just shove him down, bury himself as deeply inside Tony as he can and just fucking live there.

“Then hurry up and fuck me,” Tony demands, voice already strung out with need, both hands clenching up in the tangled sheets so he can shove himself back towards Bucky, arching even harder and so gorgeous. “Need you, god- been waiting so long for you baby, please-“

Bucky smooths his hand up the line of Tony’s spine, shoving the stolen shirt a little higher before pulling away just long enough to pour some lube onto his fingers and toss the bottle away. It’s still long enough for Tony to make another pleading noise and almost lose his balance with how hard he leans back in an attempt to chase the contact. “Easy, sugar, I got ya,” Bucky soothes and catches Tony by the hip, holding him steady while he slicks himself up with the other hand and then shuffles forward, tugs Tony up a little higher and finally presses the head of his cock to Tony’s loose hole.

Tony makes another high, desperate sound and Bucky wants to tease him, he really does, draw it out and make sure Tony feels exactly as half-crazed as he does. But Tony rolls his hips as much as he can in Bucky’s tight grip, tries to draw him in, and lets out another soft, pleading noise and Bucky can’t force himself to wait, he just can’t.

Bucky starts pressing into him, as slowly as he can possibly convince himself to move, making sure that Tony can feel every inch as Bucky sinks inside the tight heat of his body. Tony lets out a low moan that just gets louder and louder, becomes a wail and then dissolves into nonsense gibberish when Bucky’s hips finally press flush against his ass. “What was that, doll?” Bucky can’t help taunting, just a little, leaning down to wrap his free hand around Tony’s cock, still slick with lube, and laughing softly at the guttural cry that rips its way out of Tony’s chest, the shudder that Bucky can feel running through his entire body. “That’s right baby, let me hear you, been thinking about your fuckin’ voice for a week, drivin’ me crazy, wanna hear how much you missed me.”

“Missed you so much,” Tony gasps out instantly, clawing at the sheets, “oh- Bucky, missed you, missed feeling you, the way you split me open, stuff me so full and your voice-“ Tony cuts off with a choked noises when Bucky rolls his hips forward, just a little, just to feel the way Tony clenches tight and writhes against him. It’s a couple seconds and another full body shiver before Tony gets his breath back enough to beg “Fuck, please honey, make me feel it, show me how crazy you’ve been going.”

“Oh, I’m gonna fuckin’ show you,” Bucky promises darkly, leans forward to sink his teeth into the curve of Tony’s shoulder and snaps his hips forward hard. It feels like his orgasm has been building since the quinjet, hell, since he’s been gone, and with Tony so tight and warm around him, making the most beautiful noises, Bucky doesn’t stand a chance.

He doesn’t even try to stop himself from tumbling over the edge, just grinds in deep and groans as his orgasm rips through him, a heated wave that starts in his gut and spreads everywhere, leaves him lightheaded. And the entire time he keeps his grip tight on Tony’s hip, around the base of Tony’s cock, holds him pinned in place while Bucky spills deep inside him with another low groan.

“Please- fuck,” Tony whimpers, chest hitching with every breath, and then whines when Bucky refuses to move. He just stays pressed flush against Tony, his hand still wrapped tight around Tony’s cock and not moving, just feeling they way it throbs in time with the needy twitch of Tony’s hips. “What are- c’mon, I need- Bucky please,“ Tony pants out and he’s probably trying to sound demanding but it’s ruined by the way his every word is wet and shaking, “c’mon honey, fuck me.”

“I thought you liked teasin’, doll?” Bucky asks, dragging his lips up the line of Tony’s throat as he gets his breath back and then presses his smirk against the shell of Tony’s ear. “You sure as hell been teasin’ me enough. Even after you promised t’ behave, you remember that babydoll? Remember how you promised?” He punctuates the final word with a slow drag of his hand up the length of Tony’s cock, warm and wet, throbbing in Bucky’s grip.

“Oh god,” Tony sobs out and Bucky laughs lowly again because he can hear that Tony knows exactly what he’s gotten himself into. Bucky is still hard, so worked up that he’s going to have no problem following through on every one of his plans and Tony knows it.

All the first orgasm really did was take the edge off, make it easier for Bucky to focus on deep, slow thrusts that drag his cock over Tony’s prostate with every roll of his hips. And he only loses himself a little in how fucking amazing Tony feels, so hot and so impossibly tight as he arches and tries to shove himself back into every thrust, tries to press himself forward into Buckys hand, tires to get anything.

“Harder,” Tony begs, face smashed into the pillows, eyes half closed and glazed and when Bucky snaps his hips forwards a little harder the sound Tony makes is half pleasure and half overwhelmed, so gorgeous that Bucky just has to do it again, has to hear that sound again. “Yes, yes, so- oh- so good, please honey-“

Bucky lets himself be goaded into moving faster, harder, the sound of his hips slapping against Tony’s ass nearly drowned out by Tony’s loud, wailing moans. When Tony’s cries reach a fevered pitch, clenching up hard and cock leaking steadily over Bucky’s fingers, Bucky slows his thrusts again until he’s just barely moving, teasing his thumb just below the leaking head of Tony’s cock.

“Oh-“ Tony whines, face screwing up in something almost like pain and still trying to rock himself back into Bucky’s thrusts, “oh, Bucky-“ His entire body shakes with the force of his sobbing exhale, reduced to quivering in Bucky’s grip and making the most gorgeous desperate noises.

“Tha’s right sugar,” Bucky growls and lets go of Tony’s cock, ignoring Tony’s sobbing whine to get a better grip on his hips instead, holding him still so Bucky can fuck into him hard again, avoiding his prostate except for every couple thrusts and grinning wide as Tony nearly screams in frustration. “You gonna apologize now, sweet thing?” Bucky demands, speeding up until every snap of his hips knocks a moan out of Tony. “Gonna say sorry for damn near getting me killed, not lettin’ me think about anythin’ but your sweet ass wrapped around me? The way you beg so pretty for it?”

“God, fuck,” Tony grits out and shoves himself up on one arm, trying to shift the angle of Bucky’s thrusts to hit his prostate again and groaning in frustration when Bucky just moves with him. “I’m begging now, just- please Bucky I- need to come, please-“

“Haven’t said you’re sorry yet,” Bucky says and his own voice has gone uneven as the heat in his gut builds again, has him shoving forward faster, fucking into Tony deeper, harder. Tony sobs out another moan and tries to slide one arm down, obviously trying to get his own hand around his cock, but Bucky catches his wrist and pins it to the bed. “C’mon doll, you know what I wanna hear,” Bucky demands, bearing Tony down into the messy sheets and rutting into him harder, harder, until Tony is jolting against the mattress with every thrust and Bucky can feel the pressure in his gut rising higher, higher.

“Fuck, c’mon-“ Tony pleads around another shaking gasp and then full on sobs when Bucky grinds in deep and stills there, coming again with a breathless moan. “Oh my god, Bucky please, you can’t- god I just need to come, please, anything,” every word out of Tony’s mouth shakes harder than the last, writhing and squirming under Bucky’s weight and they both moan at the wet, messy slide of it.

“You sorry for misbehavin’, baby doll?” Bucky asks, licks tucked to that sensitive spot behind Tony’s ear again and he can’t help grinding down to meet the desperate arch of Tony’s hips even as aftershocks still race over his every nerve. “Gonna say you’re sorry now?

Tony doesn’t answer through, just shakes with another sobbing moan and presses his face into the sheets in an attempt to muffle it. Bucky is having none of that, braces his elbows on either side of Tony and starts fucking him again, just as hard, shoving Tony down into the bed with every thrust and biting marks into Tony’s throat. Tony seems to be beyond words at this point, reduced to breathy groans and just taking whatever Bucky gives him with the most amazing broken sounds.

It’s not long before he can feel Tony’s body winding tight again, clenching up every time Bucky drags hard over his prostate and his every breath coming out as a high whine. Bucky waits until Tony lets out a sharp moan, clawing at the sheets, then pulls out and flips Tony over onto his back in one quick move that leaves Tony blinking up at him dumbly.

Tony is gorgeous, face splotchy and flushed, big dark eyes wet and glazed as another sob tears it’s way out of his chest. He reaches out for Bucky instantly, limbs uncoordinated and shaking and Bucky wastes no time collapsing down onto Tony again, sinking back into him and picking back up on his brutal rhythm.

“What’s wrong sugar? You need somethin’?” Bucky asks, looping one arm under Tony’s shoulders and pulling him into each hard thrust, huffing out another laugh when Tony whines and clings to him tighter.

“Oh, f-fuck, Bucky- oh-“ Tony sobs out, apparently finding his words again as his fngers dig into Bucky’s shoulders. “Please, fuck please honey I- god I need to come, please, fuck I’m so close, missed you so much baby please-“

“You wanna come babydoll?” Bucky teases, smirking because fuck there’s nothing he loves more than seeing Tony completely broken open, mindless with need and begging for him. “You wanna come for me? Want to clench around me so tight, feel me fuck you right through it, ‘s that what you want sugar?”

“Yes, yes, honey please-“ Tony gasps out, arching up to meet every thrust, and when Bucky wraps a hand around his poor neglected cock Tony cries out loud enough that it makes Bucky’s ears ring. “Oh, oh-“ Tony moans, entire body shaking, and it only takes a couple firm strokes before he’s coming with a garbled cry of Bucky’s name.

“Yes, so good, fuck that’s so good baby,” Bucky groans as Tony clenches and writhes against him, falling apart and the most beautiful damn thing Bucky has ever seen. Tony’s come spills wet and hot between them, over Bucky’s fingers, and Bucky doesn’t stop the smooth slide of his hand around Tony’s cock even when Tony starts to whine and twitch.

“Bucky-“ Tony whimpers, voice rough, and then gasps sharply when Bucky grinds into him again while thumbing hard at the head of his cock. “Oh, honey- fuck-“

“What’s wrong dollface? I thought you wanted to come?” Bucky asks, sweet tone of his voice at complete odds with the no doubt wicked smile on his face. Tony whines again, eyes wide and pupils completely blown out, arching into Bucky’s next thrust even as he shakes with it. “Gonna make you come for me again, gonna give you exactly what you want until you gimme what I want.”

“Oh, fuck,” Tony groans, fingers scrambling weakly at Bucky’s shoulders as realization clearly dawns on him and then moaning loudly as Bucky curls in closer around him, thrusts picking up again.

“Yeah, you fucked up sugar,” Bucky huffs, grinning against Tony’s jaw because he already knows Tony is going to going to be stubborn right up until the end, going to let Bucky take him completely apart. “Told you sweet thing, I’m gonna break you.”

“Please-“ Tony whines, digging his fingers into Bucky’s hair and pulling, still egging him on.

The first thing Tony does when he wakes up is let out a deep, heartfelt groan, blinking at the ceiling and still looking vaguely dazed.

“Serves you right,” Bucky says smugly, tracing lightly over the finger shaped bruises on Tony’s hips, pride and want winding hot in his chest.

Tony turns his head just enough to look at him, letting out another groan that Bucky is very sure is just for show. “Hi,” Tony says, dopey grin taking over his face, “missed you honey.”

“Missed you too, trouble,” Bucky says with a roll of his eyes, even as he can’t help smiling back widely.

Tony stretches as much as he can without actually moving from where he’s been sprawled out on his back all night, then fixes Bucky with a smug grin as he asks “Did you gently and lovingly wipe me down after I passed the fuck out?”

“Someone had to, you weren’t goin’ anywhere,” Bucky says with a smirk, shifting a little closer so he can drag his palm up Tony’s chest and it’s never going to stop being an insane ego boost that even exhausted and no doubt sore everywhere, Tony still arches up into the contact with a happy sigh.

“Because you fucked me unconscious,” Tony says with a delighted laugh that completely ruins the fact that he’s trying to sound affronted and flails a hand out to pat at Bucky’s hip.

“An’ I hope you learned your lesson,” Bucky says with a sniff and leans in to press his teeth to Tony’s shoulder.

Tony hums thoughtfully, tapping his fingers against Bucky’s skin. “I learned a lesson,” he finally says brightly, then laughs again when Bucky makes a protesting sound and bites him harder.

“That is not the lesson, you menace,” Bucky grumbles even though yeah, he probably really should have seen this coming.

“I regret nothing, and I would do it again!” Tony declares grandly, one finger pointed at the ceiling, and then squawks when Bucky rolls on top of him with a growl.

Bucky does end up having to carry Tony down to breakfast the next morning. Steve takes one look at them and starts pelting them with raw eggs while Tony squawks about ‘food costs in this house’, but it’s totally worth it.

#My fic #winteriron #buckybarnesbingo2020 #starkbucksbingo2020 #starkbucks #buckytony #bbb2020 #sbb2020

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cloudphillips · 4 years

Text

Three: Act I

"Dragons?!"

Seungwan shrugged off the invisibility cloak as she stared completely horrified at the scene before her. Just a few distances away, a large lizard-like dragon, with black scales and razor-sharp bronze spikes portruding on its tail, thrashed wildly against its metal cage but the iron shackles tethered around its limbs prevented it from escaping. Sensing that its efforts were futile, the dragon unleashed a fiery breath towards its captors. Thankfully, those humans managed to escape the blast and avoided getting roasted to death. Unfortunately, the surrounding foliage within fifty feet away got burnt to ashes. It was a terrible sight. "That's the first task?!"

The Ravenclaw gaped incredulously at the half-giant standing beside her. For the record, Hagrid didn't seem quite perturbed. In fact, he looked fascinated to have witnessed that magnificent display of power from the beast. "Oh don't worry about 'em, Seungwan. They're seriously misunderstood creatures." The horrendous dragon roared into the night sky and its sound shook the very earth that Seungwan wondered if it reached Hogwarts too. If the students even remotely knew that a freaking dragon was being smuggled inside the castle grounds. "Although, I have ter admit that Horntail is a right nasty piece of work."

"You're joking right?" The blonde shook her head in denial. Hopefully, this wasn't some kind of twisted dream. Maybe the dragon was just for show. Some scare tactic to convince the Triwizard champions into abandoning the tournament or just a weird display of power from the joint forces of the great wizarding schools in Europe. Either way, Seungwan was scared shitless. Dumbledore wasn't kidding about the fact that this tournament really weren't for the faint of heart.

"'Course not Seungwan. Tis' a matter of serious business. That's why I called ye here to warn--" Hagrid wasn't able to finish his statement because the dragon suddenly breathed out flames and aimed its attack towards the direction where they stood. "Incoming!" Both Seungwan and Hagrid dropped to the ground when the fire blazed above their heads and completely missed them. A charred beetle fell dead just a few inches near the Ravenclaw and by the looks of it, the poor insect wasn't able to survive the flames and was incinerated beyond recognition. The smell of burnt flesh permeated through the air and lingered in her nose. It's safe to say that Seungwan won't be forgetting that scent anytime soon.

Once the coast was clear, they rose from the ground and dusted off the dirt from their clothes. Seungwan felt uncomfortably warm, like the heat from the flames clung to her skin and caused her to sweat. Her blonde hair was sticking out in all the wrong directions and Hagrid, bless his soul, good-naturedly patted it down and tamed it with his large hands. "Anyways, the dragons just arrived this morning. Seulgi's brother helped shipped them ter Hogwarts. Didn't she tell ye that?" The half-giant sounded like he was speaking to a toddler and maybe he was, considering their great difference in height, but Seungwan didn't let that bother her since she had more things to worry about. Like the fact that Seulgi withheld such a vital information from her.

"No she didn't. Seulgi didn't tell me a thing." Seungwan said through gritted teeth. When she gets the chance to see her best friend, she will definitely strangle that Hufflepuff to death. Of course, she'd have to face Sooyoung and Yerim and maybe brave through the barriers of the whole student body in order to even touch Seulgi. Damnit! Why did this have to be so difficult? Suffocating the Hufflepuff would've been so much easier if she wasn't adored by everyone.

The half-giant remained oblivious to her growing frustration as he fidgeted in place. That's when Seungwan noticed something rather unusual. He combed his hair and his clothes were neatly pressed with no visible wrinkles anywhere. His eyes kept on darting around the surroundings almost like he was searching for something. Hagrid was certainly acting odd.

"Hagrid~~~"

Both of them froze at the sound of a melodic voice echoing through the forest. Hagrid nervously glanced at Seungwan and sent her an apologetic smile. "I think it's time for ye ter go. It's getting late." He coughed awkwardly and the blonde narrowed her eyes at the suspiciousness of it all.

"Hagrid. Are you seeing someone?"

At her deduction, the half-giant gasped in shock. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights and it looked like his entire life flashed before his eyes. If the situation wasn't so dire, the Ravenclaw would've laughed. "How did ye know that I'm seeing Olympe?" He whispered, sounding completely scandalized, but immediately realized his error and his eyes widened in horror. "I shouldn ter said that." He groaned in annoyance at his accidental confession and clamped his mouth shut, determined not to reveal anymore secrets.

Now, it was Seungwan's turn to be surprised. "You're courting the Headmistress of Beauxbatons?!" Really. Hagrid and Madame Maxime were going out? Seems like a hard pill to swallow. The Ravenclaw took a few moments to let the information sink in before she tapped her chin deep in thought and voiced out her approval. "Not bad. I wish you could've told me though. I'd be a great wingwoman."

"What'ser wingwoman?" Hagrid looked confused and Seungwan would've taken the liberty to explain but they were pressed for time. By now, the voice sounded like it was getting closer and closer and it seemed like they only had a few minutes to spare.

"Nothing. Anyways, did you bring her something to give?" Judging by the blank expression Hagrid sported, he didn't and it took all of Seungwan's will not to berate the half-giant. She rubbed the growing headache on her temples and breathed in and out to calm her growing nerves. Geez! It wasn't even her date but she was already getting this anxious. "Seriously? You brought nothing? Not even some flowers or chocolates?"

"I didn't know ter was some courting etiquette I need ter follow." The half-giant, for the record, seemed pretty clueless and the Ravenclaw felt sympathy for him. He was probably as nervous as she was and her nagging wasn't helping alleviate his worries. She decided to soften her approach and help her friend have the best night of his life.

"First rule of dating Hagrid. You always bring a gift on the first outing."

Seungwan bent down and grabbed a few rocks on the ground. With a small flourish of her wand, she transfigured the pebbles into an elegant bouquet of white lilies. She uttered a few spells and tweaked the bouquet here and there before she was completely satisfied with the appearance. It was magnificently presentable. Madame Maxime would surely adore this simple gift. It's amazing what a little magic could do to perform miracles.

"Give her these." She handed the flowers to Hagrid then proceeded to adjust his clothes to a more aesthetic fashion so that he'll look irresistibly attractive to the eyes of Madame Maxime. She also dished out some dating advice to guide the half-giant with his date. "Don't forget to compliment her every now and then. Women like to be wooed with sweet words." She smoothed out the lapels of his collar and fussed over the dirt that somehow lodged into his hair. Once she was satisfied, she took a step back to observe his appearance. Hagrid looked pretty dashing. Seungwan felt her heart swell excitedly, like a proud mother about to send off her son to his first day of school. It was ironic since Hagrid was pretty much older than her. "Most importantly, never forget to be yourself. She will only like you more if you're being genuine."

"Thanks Seungwan." Hagrid bashfully bowed his head and flashed her a grateful smile. He pulled the Ravenclaw into a warm hug. He sniffed and it seemed like he almost wanted to cry. Awww the big fluffball. Seungwan felt herself melt in his embrace. This adorable sweetheart of a giant. "Yer a great friend for helping me."

"You're gonna nail this date Hagrid. Madame Maxime will see just how much of an amazing person you are." Seungwan tried her best to reassure the half-giant as she patted him good-naturedly on the back. When they both pulled away, the Ravenclaw grabbed the invisibility cloak from the ground and proceeded to wrap it around her body until only her head poked out. "Have a wonderful time!"

"Hagrid~~~"

They both turned towards the direction of the sound and Seungwan decided that it was time to leave. "I should get going." With that, she trudged away from the forest and headed back to the castle. Hopefully, Madame Maxime takes a liking to Hagrid because if anyone deserves a happy ending, it's him. May their date sail smoothly without any hitches along the way and may they enjoy a pleasant night in each other's company.

***

Sooyoung clutched the piece of parchment in a vice-like grip, more specifically the Arithmancy exam her professor graded just this morning, and glared at the right topmost portion of the paper where the big fat D- was written in bold red ink. She failed another test she didn't study for. What a surprise.

Having good grades in Arithmancy wasn't really a requirement for most jobs in the wizarding world but in order for one to qualify for Auror training, one must have outstanding grades in all subjects, something she failed to do. Her professor adviced her to take a remedial exam if she ever hoped to receive a passing mark but there was no way in hell she'd do that. It was a complete waste of time and she had other things to worry about, like starting fan bandwagon for Seungwan to increase support for her best friend and launching a smear campaign for Rosé in an effort to discredit her. Ain't nobody got time to do some extra studying.

Sure, all she was doing wasn't contributing in solving the issue but she believes in ignoring the problem until it completely goes away. This unhealthy coping mechanism helped her countless of times and it certainly won't fail her now.

Crumpling the parchment into a useless ball of trash, she threw her test results away and walked down the path that lead straight to the castle grounds. She still had Flying lessons next and she was running quite late. Her mother would be hella pissed when she finds out Sooyoung failed another exam but what her mother doesn't know won't hurt her. The Slytherin planned to keep this a secret after all.

"Right! First order of business is to get to class."

With that, she headed towards her intended destination. The memory of those atrocious test results were already buried deep within recesses of her mind and completely forgotten. It's better to move past and move on for nothing good ever resulted from wallowing in self-pity. There were more important things in life than slaving over grades. Sooyoung vowed to do better next time but for now, she still had a class to attend.

Little did she know that her failures would come back to haunt her in the future.

Rosé was going to the owlery with the intention of sending a letter to her father when she noticed a piece of crumpled paper on the ground. She sighed in frustration and rubbed the growing ache in her head. What's with people littering the immaculate premises of the castle? Have they no care for the environment at all? Did they know that for the past few years, there had been a significant increase of carbon footprint and one of its contributing factors is the rapid rise of wastes. The Beauxbatons girl picked the trash and had half the mind to properly dispose it in a garbage container when she decided to see its contents.

A large D- printed in red ink was the first thing that greeted her when she smoothed out the creases on the paper. Upon further study, she realized that the paper was, in fact, an Arithmancy exam and this embarrassing failure only belonged to Park Sooyoung. The same girl who pranked Rosé a few days ago with a Mimbulus Mimbletonia and the very bane of her existence.

"Interesting..." Rosé mumbled to herself as she tapped her chin, seemingly deep in thought. So Park Sooyoung was academically weak in Arithmancy. Maybe she could use this information to her advantage. After all, she needed a little payback for what that blasted Slytherin did to her. There was no way she would allow that slight to her pride be forgotten.

Staring at the crumpled parchment in her hand, a brilliant idea flashed into her mind. Maybe she could embarrass the Slytherin girl publicly in front of her friends. There was no way Sooyoung would be able to recover from that huge humiliation. Yes! Such a brilliant. That stupid idiot would think twice of crossing the line.

Rosé closed her eyes and inhaled the fresh scent of the wind breeze. Revenge had never felt so sweet. It seems like all her lucky stars have aligned and provided her with this amazing opportunity of getting back at her arch enemy. She will surely not let this chance go to waste.

Vengeance is at hand.

***

"Wannie!"

The Ravenclaw was wandering along the halls of the castle when she heard someone calling out her name. She had the sneaking suspicion that the voice belonged to a certain Hufflepuff friend of hers and when she turned around, her hunch was right. Seulgi was waving enthusiastically in her direction before barreling through the throngs of students just to reach the blonde and engulfing her in a tight hug. Seungwan refused to return her warm greeting because she still remembered her friend's betrayal. The audacity! How dare Seulgi hug her at a time like this?

"Why didn't you tell me about the dragons?" The Ravenclaw hissed in under her breath as she dragged the Hufflepuff somewhere private where no one would be able to eavesdrop into their conversation. Once the coast was clear, she demanded answers from her friend. "Did you purposely plan to leave me in the dark? I wasn't expecting this atrocious act from you Seul." Okay, maybe she was just making assumptions and it crossed her mind that Seulgi might have a reasonable explanation for withholding this vital piece of information from her but what the hell, the pressure from the tournament caused her to become irrational. She can't help but be paranoid.

"I don't know what you're talking about?" To her credit, Seulgi did a great job of looking confused. It almost made Seungwan backtrack but she remained steadfast. Maybe her friend was just a great actress and had convinced everyone of her innocence but she wasn't fooling the blonde.

"Really? Coz' Hagrid just showed me a terrifying Hungarian Horntail last night and he said your brother, who is a renowned dragonologist, helped ship them to Hogwarts." Seungwan crossed her arms and waited for her friend to realize. It took a few moments and when everything dawned on Seulgi, she furrowed her brows and appeared confused again. Certain topics seem to register late in Seulgi's mind and the Ravenclaw couldn't blame her. The Hufflepuff had the tendency to become distracted.

"But I'm pretty sure I told you though. After all, I was the one who informed you that Hagrid was looking for you." Seulgi dug deep into the recesses of her brain in order to recall that certain kind of memory. She remembered going to Hagrid's hut and bonding with the half-giant about magical creatures. Maybe there was a certain point where Hagrid asked Seulgi to pass a message to Seungwan but the memory was fuzzy now, it's hard to recount it accurately.

"You know what? Nevermind." Seungwan ran a hand through her hair in frustration. The slow pace where this conversation was heading was beginning to take a toll on her patience. Seriously, why does she even bother? What did she hope to accomplish by having this talk with the Hufflepuff? "Just forget about it."

"Okay!" Seulgi grinned cheekily and remained blissfully unaware of everything else. It's times like these that her obliviousness was astounding. The frustration Seungwan felt for her best friend faded away. How could she stay mad when the Hufflepuff looked so positively innocent. "Anyways, have you made plans on how to deal with your dragon yet?"

"I don't know." Seungwan shrugged nonchalantly, as if the tournament wouldn't be starting in the next few days and the idea of fighting a dragon seemed like wishful thinking. "I kinda want to go with the flow, you know? Just wing everything at the last minute." Man, what was she even doing with her life? The other competitors were probably formulating a concrete plan to combat the dragon yet here she was, avoiding her problems and ignoring it for as long as she can. She was certainly not living up to the Ravenclaw reputation.

"Tsk tsk! You need to devise a better approach than that Wannie." Seulgi shook her head in disappointment. It was unlike her friend to be this lax. Seungwan was a meticulous person and knowing her friend, she probably had everything mapped down to the last detail. Always forming a contingency system whenever things don't occur on purpose. Seungwan was a planner. She had a systematic approach on things so it was quite surprising that the blonde still hasn't set an objective until now.

"I know." The Ravenclaw felt her shoulders slump when she leaned against her best friend for support. All the fighting spirit she had was slowly dwindling away. Seulgi was right. She really needed to do better. The problem was that her mind wouldn't come up with something remotely useful. She was stuck in a mental limbo. It also didn't help that the pressure she felt from being the Hogwarts champion affected her in more ways than she would ever admit. She was tired of keeping up with appearances. All she wanted to do was crawl in bed and sleep for centuries without having to deal with other people for the rest of her life. Her social quota has reached its limit. She didn't know if she could still handle her brazen admirers and cult followers. "Can I turn back time and undo my decision of joining this tournament? This sucks."

"I feel you Wannie but don't worry. I know something that can help you with your dragon problem." Seulgi declared confidently before taking hold of Seungwan's hand and leading her back to the castle halls where they had to brave the currents as the students moved in raging waves just to get to class. The blonde didn't have the energy to complain and just allowed herself to be dragged. Thankfully, the people parted like the Red Sea and allowed Seulgi to pass. It's amazing how her friend possessed control over the whole student body like some kind of weird puppet master.

They climbed the Grand Staircase and Seungwan was fairly out of breath when they reached the seventh floor. Seulgi turned towards the left corridor and stopped before an empty wall opposite the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. The Hufflepuff checked the vicinity for the presence of other students and when she found none, walked past the wall three times looking like she was deep in thought. It was a weird sight and the startling secrecy caused the Ravenclaw to grow concerned for her friend. "Seul? What are you doing?" Though her worries were unnecessary because the once empty wall became nonexistent was replaced by a large iron door that suddenly appeared like magic. It seemed like a passage towards a secret room and at this point, the blonde felt suspicious.

Could this be?

No, no. There's no way Seulgi could've found that room.

The Hufflepuff grabbed the knob and twisted it. Seulgi flashed Seungwan a brilliant smile. "Shall we?" The door squeaked open when they both entered and the Ravenclaw marveled at the sight of a rather large room assembled like a practice arena. It was equipped with winged fire-breathing reptilian dummies and shelves of books about dragons. In the middle of the room, there stood a magnificent statue of a Hebridean Black poised for attack with its razor-sharp claws suspended midair. With a dramatic flourish of her hand, Seulgi announced in a proud voice.

"Welcome to the Room of Requirement."

Wait. What?

Seungwan's brain short-circuited. This is impossible. So this place has been situated here all along? That fateful night where she snuck around Hogwarts, she was pointlessly wandering the ground floor when she should've been searching the seventh floor instead. God! What a pathetic use of her efforts. Sure, she managed to discover the Mirror Erised in one of her nightly escapades but that wasn't exactly her main goal now, was it? Damnit! To think she had to endure all those bullying from Sooyoung and Yerim for failing to find the Room of Requirement when she should've just asked Seulgi for its location all along. Geez! She was such an idiot!

"The trick to finding this place is to be very specific about what you're looking for. Based on my experience, other people can enter the room and see what you're doing only if they know how the room is being used." Seulgi gushed obsessively as she ushered her friend inside. She made a grand gesture of introducing Seungwan to the various items inside the room and pointing out its uses. "Kinda like right now, I needed a private space to study about dragons and you were permitted entry because you also shared the same need. Had you been seeking anything else, you wouldn't be able to find this place."

"That's... interesting." The blonde was speechless. This room was wonderful. Had she been really missing out this whole time?

"I know right? From now on, you could use this place as your training ground. You could learn different strategies to combat your dragon. The Room of Requirement is well equipped to your needs!" Seulgi beamed with so much enthusiasm that it was infecting. Even the Ravenclaw couldn't help but share her positivity.

"Hey Seul. I found a small passage about Norwegian Ridgebacks and---" Joohyun, the last person Seungwan expected to see, emerged from one of the wooden shelves holding a rather large tome in her grasp. When she saw the Ravenclaw, she stumbled back and gasped in shock. Her mouth gaping like a fish out of water and the blonde would've found the sight funny, if she wasn't so busy being surprised herself. The Slytherin recovered immediately and schooled her features into neutral expression when she regarded Seungwan. "Oh... you're here."

"What do you mean you're here? I should be the one asking you that considering you knew of the Room of Requirement's location and you never even bothered to tell me!" Seungwan felt scandalized. First, Seulgi kept silent about the dragon task now this? This is double betrayal at its finest and it left her appalled. At this point, she was completely infuriated. Joohyun was the last person she expected to do something like this. "You knew! You knew I was searching for the Room of Requirement! You even caught me sneaking out that night yet you never said anything!" The Ravenclaw advanced towards the Slytherin, like a predator prowling its prey, until Joohyun dropped the book from her grasp when she got cornered to the wall by Seungwan.

Everything else seemed to have blurred away and even Seulgi's presence in the room went forgotten when their eyes met. Joohyun squirmed under the intensity of Seungwan's gaze and she felt breathless at their close proximity. She tried very hard not to stare at those plump lips but in the end, the Prefect was still weak and was helpless to look away. "Do you have any idea how many times Sooyoung and Yerim threw me under the bus for this? I literally had to lick my wounds for a month."

The Ravenclaw's tone sounded huskily low and it sent shivers down Joohyun's spine. Seungwan never showed this intimidating facet of her before and it was making the Prefect lose her mind. Merlin's beard! Having her this close was dangerous. It took all of the Slytherin's willpower not to succumb to her intoxicating scent.

"A-Are you..." Joohyun swallowed the lump in her throat and cursed herself for stuttering. She never gets nervous in the face of intimidation. It seems like the blonde was the only person to bring out this new side of hers. She twiddled her fingers, taking a few moments to gather her courage and when she finally did, stared deeply into Seungwan's eyes. "Are you mad at me?" Her own voice seemed foreign to her ears. It sounded small and very hesitant, like she couldn't bear the thought that she might've given the Ravenclaw a reason to hate her, and for the love of God, she wouldn't know what to do if Seungwan did hate her.

Seungwan froze when the simple yet heavily loaded question was uttered. Was she mad at the Prefect? A little frustrated maybe but never mad. Hating Joohyun was wishing for the impossible. It's like asking the blonde to loath adorable bunnies. She cherishes the Slytherin a little to much for that. "I'm not." The Ravenclaw took a step back and hung her head low in shame. "I don't think I have the capacity to ever be mad at you, much less hate you."

The Prefect was staring at her now, eyes wide with wonder and amazement, and it awakened something deep within the recesses of Seungwan's heart. It just occurred to her that Joohyun possessed such enchanting pools of brown orbs. Huh. Were her lips ever this luscious before?

"Ahem!"

Their little charged moment was interrupted when Seulgi pointedly coughed. Returning back to reality, Seungwan separated herself from Joohyun and moved a few spaces to put some good distance between them. Having Joohyun within such close proximity did something to her heart and caused her mind to go haywire. It was better to stay away from her for now just in case that weird tension appears again. She couldn't afford to get distracted. The tournament was only a few days away and she needed her complete focus if she wanted to survive the first task.

"If you're done arguing, can we get started with the lessons now?" Seulgi looked almost apologetic as she fidgeted awkwardly from where she stood. Seungwan nodded in agreement and shifted her attention solely on the Hufflepuff. She missed the dazed and flustered expression Joohyun assumed. "As I was saying, you could use this room as a practice area. Joohyun and I could teach you a few spells that you can use to combat that dragon. Since the tournament is only a few days away, you better prepare yourself for the tasks to come."

"I still can't believe you guys hadn't told me this sooner." Seungwan crossed her arms as a pout settled on her lips. This was unfair really. She could've used the Room of Requirement for one of her little experiments. Hopefully, she could try out casting some offensive spells without worrying about destroying the whole school.

"It was for the best. You wouldn't be able to keep this a secret from Yerim and Sooyoung. If those two found out, they'd be tranforming this place into a frat house in a heartbeat." Joohyun casually stated and the blonde found no fault in her reasoning because she had a point. Those demonic duo, without a doubt, had the ability to turn this beautiful sanctuary into a raving mosh pit. It's better to keep this secret hideout within themselves.

"Wait. How do you even know what a frat house means?" Seungwan asked the Prefect. As far as she was concerned, her friend was definitely a Pureblood and there was little reason for her to indulge in anything muggle related. Why would the Slytherin concern herself with such terms?

Joohyun simply rolled her eyes in response. "Really? That's the thing you're most concerned about?" There was a subtle teasing smirk visible on her lips. She looked pretty amused and the blonde figured that she must be in a playful mood. "You need to set your priorities straight Seungwan-ah."

There was something unique about the way Joohyun called her. Sure, she uttered the name Seungwan-ah countless of times, usually out of fondness more than anything else, but now it sounded different. It was stated with ardent admiration like how one usually does when talking to a loved one. But maybe it was just her imagination. Joohyun was just naturally affectionate like that. There's no need to put more context into that innocent gesture.

"I agree." The creepy smile that slowly crept on Seulgi's face sent warning signals towards the Ravenclaw. She had the sneaking suspicion that her friend was planning something stupid, something catastrophic that would doom them all. "Which is why a little duelling match will be conducted between you and Joohyun so that both of us can properly gauge your abilities in martial magic."

See? What did I tell you? Seulgi was definitely cooking some tricks up her sleeves!

"What? That's not fair! We all know that Joohyun's an expert in martial magic. Why do you think she excels in Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Seungwan started to protest but a hand gently rested on her shoulder. She shifted to see that it was the Prefect who was smiling at her in reassurance. Something stirred within her heart at the sight of that breathtaking smile. The Ravenclaw wondered why she was so mesmerized by it.

"Don't worry Seungwan-ah." In a flash of light, gone was the reassuring smile on her lips as it was replaced by a teasing smirk. Her eyes flashed dangerously and the aura she exuded changed. Joohyun looked powerful and confident. Definitely not the person you should mess with. Oh god! Her competitive side has awakened. "I'll go easy on you."

"No time for complaints now Wan. Get in position." The Hufflepuff barked an order and the Ravenclaw begrudgingly took the direction opposite from the Slytherin. Seungwan squared her shoulders and took out her wand. She practiced some flicking motions with her wrists before she adjusted her stance until her weight were equally supported by her feet.

Joohyun mainly took a step back and stood sideways. She maintained an elegant posture, eyes focused and chin held high, and she consciously protected the areas of her body that were exposed for attack. It looked like she knew what she was doing, as if duelling was a hobby she frequently engages in. That was Seungwan knew that she was in for a great fight. Joohyun will surely give her ass a serious whooping. Seulgi shouted the signal and the Ravenclaw was the first to attack.

"Expelliarmus!"

Red sparks erupted from the tip of her wand and sailed towards Joohyun. The Prefect merely smiled, as if she was expecting that kind of attack, and casually deflected the spell by dodging sideways. Seungwan was caught off guard. How in the heck did Joohyun do that so fast? The blonde was pretty sure she had a quick reaction time too and casted the Disarming spell in a heartbeat. There was no way anyone could've avoided that. Joohyun was something else.

Seungwan was too busy marvelling at the display of battle prowess that she failed to notice the silent incantation uttered by Joohyun. "Stupefy!" She felt the sensation of weightlessness as she was thrown across the room when the spell made its impact. The air was knocked out of her lungs and searing pain blossomed on her chest when she landed on the floor with a hard thud. Her eyes landed on the ceiling and she spotted white spots dancing around her field of vision. Wow! Joohyun was relentless.

She literally took Seungwan's breath away.

***

Later that night, when they've covered every topic in Defense Against the Dark Arts and Charms and their heads were literally drilled with various spells, Seulgi went to the kitchens to smuggle some food while Joohyun and Seungwan remained in the Room of Requirement, both taking a breather after their endless duelling.

It was such an exhausting day and Seungwan realized that Joohyun could be pretty ruthless when it comes to martial magic. The Slytherin even knew some spells not commonly known to wizardkind. Maybe her impressive magical prowess had to do with the fact that she came from a prestigious Pureblood family and she was provided with adequate resources to practice complex spells. Either way, Seungwan was impressed. Joohyun didn't seem like the delicate flower she originally thought. She could be pretty dangerous when she wants to.

"Merlin's beard Joohyun! I've lost count of the times I lost to you." Seungwan rubbed her sore shoulders as she approached the Slytherin who was casually chilling on the floor, looking absolutely smug with her numerous victories. She lay on the ground exhausted like a useless sack of potatoes and naturally rested her head on Joohyun's lap. A small pout settled on her lips as she regarded her friend. "I've probably broken way too many bones duelling you than I ever did with Quidditch."

"You did great though. You're quite adept at wordless magic." The Prefect donned an smile as she affectionately ran her fingers through Seungwan's smooth blonde tresses. The Ravenclaw sighed contentedly and leaned closer to her touch.

"Damn right I am!" Seungwan had an arrogant smirk on her lips and perfectly casted the Patronus Charm without muttering the incantations. A silvery wisp emerged from the tip of her wand before the familiar sight of her magnificent Nightingale patronus flew around the room and left threads of argentine traces in its wake. It briefly landed on Joohyun's shoulder and tenderly nudged her cheek before taking flight once again.

The Slytherin fondly stared at the spirit guardian and light-heartedly commented. "It's good to know that birdy is here to join us." She giggled in amusement when she noticed the frown on her friend's face as the girl seemingly took offense at her joke. Joohyun would never tell but she truly cherishes times like these, holding Seungwan close and talking about the universe as the world fades into oblivion. She'd give anything just to make this moment last a little longer.

"Birdy seems a little lonely. She needs a companion. Why don't you try casting the charm?" The Ravenclaw grinned cheekily at the smug Slytherin, who merely declined her challenge. She scoffed and rolled her eyes in mockery. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"I just don't want to set myself up for disappointment." Was Joohyun's excuse. The Patronus Charm was a ridiculously advanced magic, something she could only hope to accomplish in the future. It was quite amazing for Seungwan to become adept with a difficult charm at such a young age. She was just impressive like that. Gifted in more ways than one.

"Just admit that you can't cast the spell."

"You're right. I don't know how."

Both of them lapsed into a comfortable silence with Joohyun casually twirling the strands of blonde locks with her fingers and Seungwan sighing contentedly under her caresses. A few moments passed before the Ravenclaw broke the silence with a whisper. "It is said that Patronus forms are subject to change if the caster undergoes an emotional upheaval of some sort, like falling in eternal and unchanging love." The blonde closed her eyes and sunk deep into her thoughts. She had forgotten everything long ago. Only the memories of Joohyun's touch remains. "Can you imagine a love so pure and everlasting that it changes you?"

The Slytherin froze in her seat. The question sounded innocent enough but she knew that there was a deeper context to it. Yes, she could imagine that kind of love. It came in a form of radiant smiles and warm hugs. It came in a form of enchanting laughter and mesmerizing eyes. It came in a form of lingering touches and silky golden hair.

Love came in a form of Seungwan.

"No." The lie easily escaped from her lips but when Joohyun gazed at the sight of a lovely girl resting contentedly on her lap, she knew that she stopped fighting the inevitable long ago. In the end, there was no escape. She could only accept the mysterious works of fate. For the universe may burn to ashes and the world reduced to oblivion but there's no place she'd rather be than here.

Right beside her.

"You'll come to the tournament right? You'll come and watch me compete?" There was a hint of desperation in the Ravenclaw's tone. Seungwan rarely resorted to begging not unless it was necessary. She must truly want Joohyun to be present that day. "You won't ditch me for your beloved potions?"

"Of course." The Slytherin readily agreed for how could she deny such a simple request from Seungwan. Joohyun could give her the world if she wanted to. She ran her fingers through those blonde locks for one last time before uttering a vow and secretly swore to herself. "I will be there whenever you need me."

Always.

***

"Bets taken! Bets taken here!"

Yerim shouted on the top of her lungs and waved the tickets high in the air as she moved through the throngs of people aiming to take the front row seats to get a better view of the action. "Step up folks! Who fancies a flutter on today's bloodbath?" A couple from Slytherin were locked in a passionate embrace as they snogged publicly and completely blocked the way. Yerim cursed under her breath because seriously, why is it always her who always stumbles upon this awkward situation? Horny teenagers practically existed everywhere! It's an insult to those who remain single.

"Smart money's on Bogum to survive! Place your bets!" The Gryffindor literally shoved the couple away and proceeded to advertise the betting pool to a few eager customers. Pulling open the small trunk she was carrying, she tucked the money inside before handing over some gambling tickets to three Slytherins. "Ten-to-one for Rosé. There you go! Don't forget to support our Hogwarts champion Seungwan!" Gambling was an illegal activity of course but the resident Gryffindor didn't care for it was such an exciting day at Hogwarts.

The first stage of the tournament was about to commence and the selected champions would each battle a dragon in order for them to successfully advance to the next task. No one knew the outcome of the competition and there was a possibility of blood being spilt today. That's why everyone was buzzing with excitement. They were eagerly anticipating for the drama.

Inside the champions tent where the competitors waited, Seungwan paced restlessly as her mind kept on imagining different scenarios about how her encounter with the dragon would conclude. Ten involved her either dying or getting burnt to ashes. All of which didn't end well. Suddenly, she heard a static ringing echo across the whole venue before the booming voice of Dumbledore announced to the audience.

"Your attention please. This is a great day for all of us!"

The atmosphere inside the tent was quite tense. Bogum kept on cracking his knuckles while muttering a few words here and there. His eyes shifting back and forth as if he was anticipating an ambush. On the other hand, Rosé sat primly on her designated cot and stared numbly onto the distance. Amongst the champions, she seemed to be the only one who appeared calm and unbothered but her constant fiddling with the robes was a telltale sign that she was nervous too.

"Each of the three tasks involves considerable danger. Please keep your seats at all times."

Seungwan found herself wandering towards the back portion of the tent. For a brief moment, she considered escaping and running the fuck away from here but then she realized that she couldn't do that. Too much was at stake and a lot of people were relying on her. She couldn't afford tainting the reputation of the Ravenclaw house.

"This will minimize any risks you may be exposed to. I'm sure we wish all our champions the greatest of luck."

"Pssst!"

The Ravenclaw noticed a silhouette of a person standing behind the tent flaps. With her curiosity piqued, she moved closer until she could clearly decipher the whispering. "Pssst! Seungwan! Is that you?" Her heart leaped with joy for she'd certainly recognize that voice anywhere. She came just as she promised. She didn't ditch Seungwan for those stupid potions.

"Yeah. It's me Hyun."

She heard the Slytherin sigh heavily before speaking. "How are you feeling? Okay?" The blonde didn't deign a reply for she would be lying if she said yes. She was far from okay. Her stomach churned anxiously and her hands trembled in anticipation. It seemed like she was standing on the edge of a cliff and preparing to take the plunge. She wasn't ready for this. Was it too late to back out yet? "The key is to concentrate. After that you just have to..."

"Battle a dragon?"

There was a pregnant pause, some palpable tension in the air, before Seungwan was suddenly engulfed in a bone-crushing hug. A mixture of lavenders and fabric conditioner overwhelmed her senses until all she could think about was Joohyun. Her chest tightened as her heart wanted to burst out from its cages. She buried her face on those smooth raven tresses and basked in her warmth. "Oh Joohyun." Holding her like this caused all Seungwan's fears to vanish.

It's like the magic of the Prefect's touch sparked every cell in her body which calmed her troubled mind and soothing her distraught soul. Suddenly, facing that dragon didn't seem so daunting anymore. There's no need to be afraid. Everything will be okay as long as Joohyun was there for she was the lifeline to anchor Seungwan back to reality.

There was a flash of bright light and the magic disappeared.

"Ah! Young love." Seungwan and Joohyun jumped apart when the infamous Rita Skeeter entered the Champions' tent and created quite a fuss. Bogum and Rosé stood in alarm at the unwelcome intrusion and adopted a defensive stance. It seemed like no one was happy to see the Daily Prophet journalist. "How... stirring." Rita arrogantly waltzed inside, as if she wasn't breaching private space, and motioned for her assistant photographer to follow. There was a wicked gleam in her eyes when her gaze landed back and forth between the two. "If anything goes unfortunately today, you two might even make the front page!"

"You have no business here!" Bogum jumped to their rescue and intervened before everything escalated. While Rita was distracted by the Bulgarian superstar, Seungwan surreptitiously moved in front of Joohyun to shield her friend from unwanted attention. The journalist seemed like she was out to wreck havoc and the Ravenclaw wanted to protect the Slytherin from all of that. "This tent is for champions... and friends."

His gaze landed on Joohyun and for a moment, Seungwan thought she detected a hint of affection swimming in those brown eyes but it was gone as soon as it appeared. The lighting was probably playing tricks on her mind and maybe it was just her imagination. A menacing sneer settled on her lips before Rita responded. "No matter. We've got what we wanted." In a grand dramatic gesture, she flicked her blonde hair and sashayed her way out of the tent with her lackey obediently following her.

The Ravenclaw released the breath she'd been holding when that little confrontation ended and turned to check over Joohyun. "Are you okay?" The Slytherin merely nodded in relief and sent her a grateful smile "I'm fine as long as you're here." That simple statement alone caused the rapid beating of her heart to increase its pace until it felt like it would burst. Joohyun had a way with words and Seungwan didn't know why it greatly affected her so.

The doors open and Dumbledore entered the tent followed by the rest of the school heads. "Good day champions! Gather around please." He gestured for the competitors to take their positions and they all circled around him while Madame Maxime and High Master Karkaroff hovered behind their favored students. The Hogwarts Headmaster unlatched the little pouch attached on his belt and removed the knot. "Such a shame the Head of the Ministry of Magic couldn't join us this fine morning."

The Slytherin stiffened like a rock at the mention of her mother. This odd behavior seemed unlike her. Seungwan reached out to clasp their hands together and sent Joohyun a reassuring smile. Everything will be okay. The words went unspoken but remained understood nonetheless. Joohyun felt the tension slowly ease away until she could finally breathe again. Yes, everything will be okay because Seungwan was there. The Prefect figured that there was no need to be afraid.

"Now you've waited, you've wondered and at last the moment has arrived. The moment only three of you can fully appreciate." The Headmaster opened the pouch but noticed an extra head within the room and frowned in confusion. "What are you doing here Miss Bae?"

"Oh um... Sorry I'll just go." The Slytherin Prefect, to her credit, at least had the decency to look sheepish. "Be careful." She spared Seungwan one last glance and proceeded to exit the tent. Never once did Joohyun look back and it seemed like a she took a part of Seungwan with her.

The Ravenclaw only stared as she left for she was unable to look away. Shaking away the distractions, she blinked twice before allowing her gaze to study everyone in the room. Rosé was deep in thought while Bogum also watched Joohyun go. There was something glinting in his eyes, some barely repressed longing, and it caused Seungwan to frown in displeasure. She didn't like the way Bogum stared at her friend. Maybe it was just her protectiveness kicking in.

"Right let's start. Champions, please kindly put your hands inside the bag. Mister Park, if you will..."

Dumbledore held out the pouch to Bogum and gestured for him to reach down. Smoke billowed out from the container and the Bulgarian superstar winced as soon as he took out a little dragon with golden streaks. The creature shot rounded balls of from its nostrils and singed Bogum's gloved hand. The Headmaster marveled in delight. "The Chinese Fireball! Fantastic!"

It was Rosé's turn and she picked out a dragon with smooth copper scales with black-ridged markings and short horns on its head. What stood out from the creature's appearance was its sharp fangs that could probably cut through rocks. "The Peruvian Vipertooth, poisonous bunch. Really quite notorious for its craving for humans." Dumbledore shook his head before turning to the Ravenclaw.

At this point, Seungwan felt dread creep up her spine. Only one dragon remained and if her hunch was correct, she'll be battling the nastiest creature of them all. She reached down and internally winced when her thumb got pricked by something spiky. When she pulled out a small black lizard-like dragon from the pouch, the creature glared at her and barred its fangs as a threat. Of course! Of course she just had to pick this monstrous creature! What rotten luck she has. "The Hungarian Horntail. Ooohh nasty!" Dumbledore whistled appreciately and sympathetically patted the poor Hogwarts champion on the back. Great. Thanks for the moral support professor! You've done a wonderful job in alleviating my anxiety. Seungwan couldn't help but inwardly grumble in sarcasm.

"These represent very real dragons, each of which has been given a golden egg to protect. Your objective is simple, collect the egg" Dumbledore stared directly into their eyes to emphasize the gravity of the situation. The Ravenclaw nervously swallowed the lump in her throat. She was in for the fight of her life. "This you must do for each egg contains a clue. Without which, you cannot hope to proceed to the next task. Any questions?"

When he was met with silence, Dumbledore pursed his lips in anticipation. "Very well, good luck champions." Then he addressed Rosé. "Miss Park, at the sound of the canon you may--"

Whatever he was about to say was drowned by the cannon firing abruptly. Cheers erupted from the stands and the audience practically started chanting Rosé's name. Dumbledore briefly closed his eyes and sighed heavily then gestured towards the exit. The Beauxbatons girl paused for a moment to take a deep breath before raising her head up high and strutting out of tent confidently.

Seungwan watched her go and the pit in her stomach seemed to grow as more time passed. Right. She gave herself a little pep talk. There's only one goal. You only need to collect the egg. In order for that to happen, she has to sneak around, avoid confrontation with the Horntail, and steal the egg. Alright, she could do that.

How hard could it be?

***

"Stop worrying. Seungwan will be fine."

Joohyun stopped clenching her figners and turned to address Seulgi, who seemed preoccupied with eating her popcorn as she scanned the arena. For a moment, the dread latched onto her heart seemed to lessen but only just a little. "How'd you know? How could you possibly know that she won't be torn to pieces or get burned to ashes?"

"We taught her everything we could these past few days and prepared her as best we can. Besides, Seungwan is a clever one. She can handle herself." The Hufflepuff smiled at her friend and squeezed her hand in reassurance. The Slytherin briefly glanced at their intertwined fingers and accepted the comfort her friend offered.

She could only hope that Seulgi was right. Seungwan wasn't usually mindful with self-preservation and jumped recklessly into chaos whenever the opportunity presented itself. Joohyun lost count of the times she had to patch the wounds the Ravenclaw got from Quidditch. She really wished that Seungwan would remain safe this time and survive this tournament relatively unscathed. Taking a deep steadying breath, the Prefect loosened the tension on her shoulders and steeled her nerves. "You're right. Seungwan will be okay."

A lot of people came to watch the competition today and the arena was completely packed. Some of the students brought banners to show support for their favored champion. The Slytherin glanced around and realized that two of her friends were missing. "Where's Yerim and Sooyoung?" She turned to ask the Hufflepuff. Seulgi merely shrugged and munched her popcorn. Where she got the food, Joohyun would never know. Maybe she asked the house elves to cook up some delicacies for her. After all, nobody could resist Seulgi's innocent charm.

"Yerim's busy making money by creating a betting pool." Sure enough, the Gryffindor flitted along the throngs of people selling tickets and collecting gambling money. Wasn't that supposed to be illegal? Joohyun decided that she didn't wanna know. "As for Sooyoung..." The Hufflepuff pointed at the opposite side of the arena right where the Beauxbatons folks were situated. A lone Slytherin stood in a sea of blue, holding a placard that said Rosé sucks! Down with the bloody Blondie! "She's launching a smear campaign against Rosé." Sooyoung adopted a smug smile as she basked in the glares she received from the Beauxbatons students.

Joohyun pursed her lips in disapproval. That stupid girl will cost them house points and make Slytherin lose the house cup! Sooyoung was hell-bent on creating war between the two schools. The Prefect scowled in frustration as she mumbled under her breath. "Good lord, give me strength not to strangle that idiot."

"Two of our champions have now faced their dragons and so each of them will proceed to the next task." Dumbledore announced in a booming voice then resumed. "And now our third and final contestant."

"Oh look! It's starting!" Seulgi excitedly pointed towards the cavern entrance where the Hogwarts champion slowly emerged. Joohyun naturally followed her line of sight and held her breath in tense anticipation. This is it. The battle has begun. She could only hope that today wouldn't end up in a bloodbath.

Seungwan stood by the mouth of the cave and surveyed the surroundings for presence of threats. The crowd was cheering her name but she couldn't care less for her mind was preoccupied elsewhere. She studied the jagged rocks and almost choked on the foul scent of sulfur that permeated around the arena. Her eyes zeroed on the golden egg sitting atop a huge boulder just a few distances away. Right, no sign of that blasted Horntail and the egg was unguarded. She was good to go!

The Ravenclaw made a run for it, putting to good use her inherent swiftness and flexibility as a Quidditch seeker, as she moved with featherlight steps that only the crunching sound of pebbles was heard across the arena. Almost there! Seungwan huffed. The egg was within reach.

A fast blur moved within her peripheral vision and Seungwan was too late to notice the creature advancing upon her. She suddenly felt the sensation of weightlessness as the spiked tail of the dragon hit her path and sent her flying to the air. Argh! She fell to the ground heavily and groaned when searing pain erupted on her shoulder. The rough impact broke her arm and rendered it useless. Now, she was left at a great disadvantage.

"Joohyun?"

It took the Slytherin a few moments to tear her eyes away from Seungwan and shift her attention towards Seulgi. The Hufflepuff was grimacing but she still managed a strained smile when she gestured at their intertwined hands. "You're cutting off my blood circulation." Sure enough, she was right. Her fingers looked pale. Joohyun immediately released it and Seulgi visibly sighed in relief. She quickly apologized but her friend merely shrugged it off. "It's okay. I understand."

Their attention returned to the tournament, more specifically on the injured Ravenclaw who was clutching her broken arm as she stumbled and fell around the arena. The Horntail let out a terrifying roar, which shook the very earth, and blasted a stream of fire towards the Hogwarts champion. Seungwan was forced to retreat behind a large boulder. The spectators leaned closer in tense anticipation to get a better view of the action.

Joohyun clenched her fists so hard that her knuckles turned white. "She's hurt Seul." She pursed her lips at the sight of a wounded Seungwan, with blood dripping profusely from the gash on her forehead and tainting her blonde hair with scarlet liquid. It took all of her willpower not to jump into the arena and gather the Ravenclaw into the safety of her arms.

"She will find a way Joohyun." Seulgi patted her back in reassurance and the Slytherin Prefect couldn't take it anymore. Her mind formulated a plan and she could only hope it would help the blonde. She cupped her hands over her mouth and shouted on the top of her lungs.

"Your wand Seungwan! Your wand!"

Seungwan felt the intense heat on the rock's surface and realized with growing dread that the dragon's flames were slowly melting the stone with its extremely high temperature. Under normal circumstances, she'd be impressed upon knowing this discovery but right now, she was busy trying not to die. Crouching down the small gap on the ground, she took out her wand and summoned her broom. "Accio Comet!" She didn't know if the spell worked but she'll worry about that later.

Steeling her nerves, Seungwan took off from her hiding place and scrambled around the rocky path. "Depulso!" She casted the blasting charm midair and it hit the dragon square in the chest but it only managed to anger the beast. The Horntail flapped its wings and launched another stream of fire. She was unable to avoid the attack in time and ended up having her robes scorched. Seungwan crouched behind another boulder and smothered out the fire on her clothes. Glancing at the sky, her heart leapt in joy when she saw her broom already soaring towards her. Yes! There was hope! She could still survive this tournament!

Wiping the blood and grime that obscures her vision, Seungwan took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She planned on jumping into her broom and using her flying skills to her advantage. Timing was crucial for success and she couldn't afford to fail for her life was on the line.

Three

The dragon emitted a mighty roar and its vibration could be felt all over the arena.

Two

The audience lapsed into a worried silence when they realized that the tournament that was slowly turning into a bloodbath. Would the Hogwarts champion survive? Will they be witnessing the very first death on this dangerous task?

One

The Ravenclaw opened her eyes and hurled herself to the air with great effort. A scream of joy escaped from her lips when she successfully landed on her broom and expertly maneuvered it pass through the obstacles. Her fingers traced the familiar outlines of the wood and she sighed in relief. Finally! She could fight the dragon on equal terms.

Be brave Seungwan.

You can do it!

The Hungarian Horntail was fiercely protective of her egg and was not easily persuaded to leave the ground despite the Ravenclaw's numerous attempts of provoking it. Writhing and twisting, she regarded Seungwan as though she was an annoying fly that she's longing to swat. The creature kept on furling and unfurling her wings but seemed too afraid to move far from the egg. Her spiky tail thrashed at Seungwan but she is too high to reach. The Horntail finally reared from the ground, spreading her great black leathery wings at last, and Seungwan took her chance.

She dove towards the golden egg before the beast can react and tucked it safely within her injured arm before flying off from the arena. The dragon roared in defiance and broke free from its iron shackles. Flapping its great leathery wings, the beast burst through the crowd. Its spiky tail completely laid waste on one of the wooden tents as she chased the Ravenclaw.

Joohyun helplessly stared as Seungwan and the Horntail disappear from the sky. The whole place became deathly quiet as the crowd waited in tension. She didn't know why but she felt an awful sense of foreboding, like something bad was about to happen.

Suddenly, the memory of her unfortunate experience in Divination class flashed into her mind. How her tea leaves depicted a bird. It dawned on her that the animal was probably referring to Seungwan. Maybe Joohyun was grasping at straws here but she couldn't deny the fact that the two were connected, considering that Seungwan's Patronus was a Nightingale and she came from a house that symbolized a raven. Both of which were obviously birds.

There was also the grim.

An omen of death.

Dread latched onto her heart when she realized the possible implications of her theory. This could mean that Professor Trelawney's predictions were true and Seungwan was in mortal danger. Dear Lord please don't let it be her! Joohyun closed her eyes to calm the raging turmoil of her soul. Seungwan was out there injured and on the brink of death. Joohyun needed to leave. She couldn't just sit around and wait for the tournament to end while her friend was fighting for her life.

"Where are you going?" Seulgi grabbed her arm and prevented her from escaping. She adopted a stern glare and frowned at her friend in disapproval. It was unlike the Hufflepuff to be this serious. "You can't leave Joohyun! The others will notice." She hissed under her breath and gestured at the people gathered around the arena who were gradually witnessing the Slytherin cause a commotion.

"Let me go Seul! You don't understand." Joohyun yanked her hand away from Seulgi's vice-like grip but it was useless. The Hufflepuff kept a firm hold. She felt the stares directed upon them but she didn't care. All that matters now was Seungwan. She'd never forgive herself if she was too late. "I need to find her. I need to keep her safe!"

"Seungwan will be fine! She will find a way!" The Hufflepuff, noticing the unwanted attention they were receiving, smiled apologetically at the spectators before dragging her friend away and leading her to someplace private. They climbed down the wooden stairs and exited the arena. When they reached a grassy field, Seulgi confronted her friend and scolded her for her recklessness. Surely no one would be around to eavesdrop on them.

"Have you completely lost your mind? You've made quite a scene back there! Whatever happened to keeping it a secret?" Seulgi crossed her arms and demanded an explanation. "What would people say when they see a respectable Slytherin Prefect like you disrupting the tournament and cheating the rules just because she wanted to save some girl? I know Seungwan is our friend but damn Joohyun! You need to keep in mind that she's also the Hogwarts champion."

"I don't care what they say! Nothing else matters but her!" Joohyun moved to take a step but her path was blocked by Seulgi. A scowl marred her features. She didn't like her friend's interference. "Move away Seul or I wouldn't hesitate to cast a curse on you."

"No! Not until you explain why you're so hell-bent on chasing after her!" Seulgi didn't move an inch and remained adamant. Joohyun sighed and proceeded to recount everything back from the unfortunate Divination class and how the omens on her tea leaves foretold a warning.

"Do you understand now Seul? Do you understand why I need to go after her?" Her voice sounded shaky and the tremors in her hand only increased in intensity. If the omen was right, God Joohyun hoped it wasn't, then she was only seconds away from losing Seungwan. A lone tear cascaded down her eyes when she realized just how helpless she was. Seulgi was taken aback. Joohyun never cried in front of her before. She knew that her friend despised showing vulnerable side. "I need to find her for my heart will never know rest if I don't."

The Hufflepuff took a moment to process the information. Joohyun was right. She was always right. Seulgi was wrong to doubt her in the first place. "Go! I'll cover for you!" She stepped out of the way and ushered her friend to leave. She understood the gravity of the situation and knew that time was their enemy. Joohyun sighed in relief. "Thank you Seul!" With that, she took off and headed towards the direction of the castle.

She could only hope that she wasn't too late.

***

Seungwan was flying high speed across the great expanse of the Black Lake with the golden egg tucked safely under her injured arm. Her mind was currently devising a plan on how to defeat the dragon once and for all. "Come on idiot brain! Think!" The Hogwarts castle seemed nearer now and the Ravenclaw needed to shake off the tailing beast.

With a great roar, the dragon shot a trail of fire in her direction, one that she was unable to avoid, and completely scorched her broom which sent her falling down sixty feet from the air. She lost hold of the golden egg as she was careening towards absolute death. The Hungarian Horntail dove after her and sent fiery blasts which thankfully didn't hit her. The blue waters of the lake neared and Seungwan braced herself for the impact

When she hit the water, it felt like she was bulldozed by a thousand trucks and crushed like a useless bug. All the air has escaped her lungs and she was starting to lose consciousness due to the significant amount of blood loss. The dragon dove on the water and searched the deep for its prey. Upon seeing the Ravenclaw, the beast relentlessly paddled its limbs and swam after her. It seemed like the Horntail was hell-bent on getting its revenge. Seungwan remained helpless as she drowned. Her limbs ached from exertion and her whole body felt numb. Maybe it was time to stop fighting and just succumb to the water's cold embrace.

This is it.

She was going to die.

She was stupid enough to enter this dangerous tournament and now the consequences of her actions came back to haunt her. Her body will be buried in this lake and she will be reduced to oblivion. After all, the abyss lurks and the deep will always claim its victims.

This is it.

She was going to die.

Her name will never be remembered. She will never bring honor to the house of Ravenclaw. She will never prove that Muggles deserved wielding magic too. She will never live to see Yerim's pranks, never successfully teach Sooyoung the Patronus charm, and never be there to support Seulgi when she becomes a famous Quidditch player. She will never be able to thank Joohyun for their friendship and never get to tell her friend that she was the only Pureblood who cared.

She didn't even get the chance to say goodbye.

This is it.

She was going to die.

Seungwan closed her eyes and allowed the darkness to consume her.

#red velvet #the magic between us #irene #wenrene #wendy #yerim #joy #seulgi #harry potter #hogwarts #magic

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ericsonclan · 4 years

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If The Hammock's a'Rocking, Don't Come a'Knocking

Summary: Brody and Mitch seize the opportunity of having some alone time to try something they never have before... <3

Read on A03:

They had been waiting for this moment. For weeks now, Mitch and Brody had been trying to find an opportunity to have some alone time: easier said than done on a ship. Every time they found it was just the two of them, one of the younger boys would come running in or Louis would be looking for them since he was starting a crew meeting or Prisha and Violet had already found that spot. Neither of them wanted to show it, but the constant denial of their deepest desire – to just get their fucking hands on each other – was wearing away at them. At last though the day came when the stars aligned in their favor. Louis and Clementine had taken the boys out on the rowboat to investigate a nearby island. Marlon was steering the ship around to the other side of the island where they’d meet them. Prisha and Violet were up in the crow’s nest on watch duty. Ruby and Aasim were sewing together a new flag. Omar was in the kitchen as always. Everyone had something to do… except Brody and Mitch. Their opportunity had arrived. Stealthily, they snuck down below deck, making their way to the sleeping quarters. They chose Mitch’s room, shutting the door behind them with an almost inaudible click. As soon as it was shut, they stole their first kiss of many to come that afternoon. “God, it feels like forever since we’ve had some time alone,” Brody exclaimed, pulling Mitch in for another kiss. “Damn right,” Mitch grumbled. “Never thought I’d value privacy till we couldn’t fucking find any,” The ship rocked under their feet as they made their way over to Mitch’s hammock, their lips locked together as they blindly navigated toward their destination. Placing a hand on his hammock, Mitch turned to Brody with a devious smile. “So…” “So…” Neither was willing to admit how nervous they were. If they’d had clear heads about the matter they both would have realized that the likelihood of their partner having any experience in this area was next to nothing. Both were so absorbed in hiding their emotions from the other though that they often did a pretty shit job of reading each other. So here they both stood, too afraid to admit to the other that they had no idea what they were doing. “Ladies first,” Mitch motioned toward the hammock. Brody quirked an eyebrow. “I think you’d crush me if I went up there first. You go,” “Fine then. Coward,” Mitch jumped up into his hammock, scrambling a little before plopping in place. “Need a hand?” Brody begrudgingly took it, grunting with effort as she pulled herself up onto the hammock. Mitch smirked at her as she got settled. “No wonder you sleep on the bottom hammock in your room. Didn’t know a pirate could be such a shit climber,” “Shut up,” Brody snapped, whacking his chest. She tried to sit up straight, but overestimated the height of the ceiling, bumping her head in the process and letting out a sharp hiss of pain. “Shit, you alright?” Mitch asked, leaning forward to help her. “No, wait, don’t move!” Brody warned – but it was too late. Mitch’s shifting weight threw the entire hammock of balance, flipping the pair unceremoniously out and onto the floor. They sat up with heavy groans. “I told you to wait,” Brody muttered, rubbing the bump on her head. “Sorry,” Brody looked over to see Mitch gazing sheepishly at the floor. It wasn’t like him to not have a comeback. She took his hand in hers, offering a small smile. “Let’s try again,” This time they were both smoother in their ascent and more cautious as they got into place, making sure not to make any sudden movements that might rock the hammock too much. They smiled at each other in triumph, moving in for a kiss. Things progressed rather quickly, getting more heated from there. Suddenly though, Mitch pulled back with a groan. “What’s wrong?” Brody’s tone was worried. “Did I do something?” “No, it’s not you. I just realized what a dumbass I am, leaving my boots on before getting up here. Not sure how to get ‘em off now,” “Shit. I left mine on too,” Brody’s brow furrowed in thought. “Stay really still, OK? I’m gonna see if I can turn around and slip yours off,” Mitch held onto the edges of the hammock, trying to stabilize it as Brody slowly turned around. There were a couple close calls, but after a minute or two she was facing Mitch’s feet. She started to untie his laces. “You know,” Mitch commented, “This isn’t the worst view over here. I could get used to this,” “Less talking, more untying. My shoes should be within your reach too,” “Spoilsport,” But Mitch complied, working on undoing Brody’s shoes as well. Suddenly, the ship hit a particularly large swell. Brody was knocked off of the hammock with a scream. “Brody! Are you OK?” Mitch looked over the edge of the hammock in terror. Brody waved up at him from her landing spot in the lower hammock. “Just fine. I’m just gonna step onto the floor though to finish getting my boots off. Probably what we should’ve done in the first place,” “Good idea,” They finished the removal of their boots separately before Brody hopped up into the hammock once more. “Third time’s the charm, right?” she said with a wink. Mitch placed his hands securely on her hips, sitting up for a kiss. They quickly achieved a fairly good rhythm now, Mitch’s hands slipping under the edges of Brody’s shirt while Brody’s fingers worked to loosen the laces on his shirt. A sudden turn had them both clinging to each other in desperation though as the hammock swung fiercely to and fro. Marlon must have begun to circle the island. “Fuck, I wish we had a bed,” Mitch muttered. “Louis and Clem have it so easy. We should’ve snuck in there,” “Are you crazy?” Brody hissed. “What if someone caught us in there? We’d never hear the end of it!” “We know how to be sneaky,” “It doesn’t matter! They’d know if we’d been in there. There’d be some sort of evidence we left or a weird smell or-” “A weird smell? What exactly are you expecting?” “I don’t know! I just, I-I…” Brody’s breathing was quickening. Seeing how bad it was getting, Mitch raised his hands to stroke her arms, rubbing gentle circles as he went. “Hey, my bad. If you don’t wanna sneak in there, we won’t. We’ll make this work… somehow,” “Thank you,” Brody whispered. “I really want to. Make this work, that is,” “Same here,” They returned to their endeavors, each excited touch bringing them closer to something they weren’t quite sure how to handle but were ready to try. There were certainly some bumps – both literal and metaphorical – along the way. At one point when Brody was reaching forward to cup Mitch’s cheek a jostle from the ship led to her poking him in the eye. And when they were both trying to get Mitch’s pants off he almost slipped out of the hammock, grabbing Brody’s hair for balance and pulling it in a very unsexy way. It likely would have been easier if they’d simply taken all of their clothes off before entering the hammock, but seeing as the removal of a single item of clothing sent them both into a blustering tizzy, there was no way that would happen. Finally they appeared to be getting somewhere. Brody’s shirt and Mitch’s pants were off and they had gotten quite proficient at maintaining their balance even as the hammock swayed wildly with each and every wave against the ship’s hull. Brody and Mitch shared a tentative look as they pondered if they were ready to start to take that final leap into unknown terrain. Brody’s hand hovered above Mitch’s torso. Mitch nodded his permission. Brody’s hand moved slowly down, trailing lower until- “Just a sec, Prisha! I know where I left it, just gotta grab it!” That was Violet’s voice. Brody’s head jerked up in alarm, smashing once more into the room’s ceiling, right where she hit it before. She grabbed her head in pain and Mitch leaned forward in concern… sending both of them tumbling out of the hammock, landing in a tangled mess on the floor just as Violet opened the door. All three of them froze, staring at each other in abject horror. Brody and Mitch felt like dying in that moment, sinking down into the watery abyss where they would never have to see another living soul again, where they could fade into oblivion and forget this utterly mortifying moment. There was no escape though. Violet was the first to move. Walking over to her hammock, she opened one of the trunks underneath, fishing through it for a second before emerging with a polished spyglass. Brody had tried to cover what her bra didn’t hide while Violet’s back was turned and Mitch shifted slightly, trying to shield her from view as well. Violet walked back to the door silently. Before she exited, she reached over into the hammock on her left, fishing out a dirty sock. She plunked it onto the outer doorknob before shutting the door behind her. “Holy shit,” Brody groaned, rubbing her knuckles against her throbbing forehead. “That was a buzzkill if I ever saw one,” “No duh!” Brody looked to the door in fear. “Think she’ll tell anyone?” “Violet? Never,” Mitch tapped his fingers against the floorboards, looking around the room. “Sooo… what do we do now?” “Raincheck?” “Raincheck,”

Their moment would have to wait till another day.

#twdg #twdg season 4 #twdg bitch #twdg brody #twdg mitch #apirateslifeformeau #twdg moody #fanfic

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toonstarterz · 5 years

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BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #157

And now for something entirely different.

For the first time in the entire series, we have a chapter in which Tomoko Kuroki is completely absent. For a series whose initial premise was so dependent on having Tomoko as the solitary focus, it really speaks volumes that the side characters can now carry the series on their own. Of course, it wouldn’t be Watamote if Tomoko wasn’t there in some way, shape or form, and as we see today, her spirit lives on in rest of the Watamote Crew.

Chapter 157: Because I’m Not Popular, I’m Suspended

I really dig the hatching in this opening shot. It automatically gives you the sense that this is a retroactive moment and that Tomoko will be MIA until further notice.

And just as we already knew, Tomoko and Yoshida got busted.

I’ve noticed quite a few people criticize this school policy, claiming that’s it’s unreasonable for the “crime”. My assumption is that riding a motor scooter reflects poorly on the school, which its students are supposed to represent with “proper” behavior. While I don’t think it’s really a justified punishment, I don’t think it’s necessarily an unjustified punishment either. Dissecting the reason would mean pulling apart much about Japanese cultural values, and this ain’t the place for that.

This, on the other hand, seems a teeensy bit excessive. But that’s just me.

Naturally, Komiyama takes this as an opportunity to validate her less-than-savory impression of Tomoko. Gotta eat up those friend-of-a-friend brownie points.

The true endgame of this series is when Tomoko and Komiyama call each other “friend.”

Blatant disregard of sensei’s instructions? Looks like Yuri’s the next to join the new delinquent posse after Tomoko and Yoshida.

But on that note, I really do enjoy that Yuri cares enough about her buddies to break the rules. She’s always been an obedient student overall, but I always had this inkling that Yuri wasn’t really a goody-two-shoes. Rebels gotta stick together.

And Tomoko’s (and Yoshida’s) reputation continues to brew. And through the semi-popular kids at that. If nothing else, Tomoko is going to leave school known as the “Weird Kid” that everyone admires.

I now wonder just how much these guys knew about Tomoko and Yoshida’s friendship? I’d imagine that this whole suspension might actually paint the two as BFFs in everyone’s eyes.

Lastly, I wonder what was the manga Tomoko and Yoshida were reading? Maybe a sequel to “A Happy Cat”?

Can I get a Prison School shoutout, anybody?

Yup, like I said. Everyone knows about that “Weird Kid” in high school who did stupid stuff, but you couldn’t help but admire them for having the nerve to do it. Nemo may give Tomoko a lot of shit sometimes, but to some degree, I think she wishes she could be like her.

Girl’s itching for her Kuroki-Kimoi fix.

Perhaps someone can enlighten me, but are Japanese shoe lockers really left unlocked? I mean, you see it all the time in manga–how else would the love interest send letters/chocolate to their crush?–but I’d like to to know if there’s any truth to that.

If Ucchi really was getting ready to confess apologize, then I gotta hand it to her. It took her a lot faster to get to that point than I thought she would.

Unfortunately, the universe discriminates against emojis, and when they flippantly confront a random girl to inquire about their obsession, you know a blast of karma is heading their way.

The Counseling Room, huh? For those who’re uninitiated like me, that’s supposedly where they keep the suspended students to do their schoolwork and reflect on their actions.

In Ucchi’s eyes, however, it’s the higher beings keeping her from her beloved.

Sorry, Ucchi, but you gotta work on your “Uwaaaah!”s. Maybe you ought to get some pointers from Komiyama.

More and more, Ucchi’s cries of despair get even more absurd. And more and more, I wonder how she justifies it in that head of hers.

Aw damn, is it that same dude that criticized Tomoko for supposedly almost falling into a ravine? And on film, too? Bro needs to take a chill pill.

That seems to be the food for thought amongst the student body these days.

Is it wrong that I laughed at Katou’s very obvious face of absolute boredom? You can just feel the Tomoko withdrawal symptoms destroying her from the inside.

I used to be pretty ambivalent about her increasing affection to Tomoko, but these more humanizing moments make me grow fonder about their relationship.

Fuuka’s never gonna let this one die, is she?

That’s basically the exact same thing that Tomoko said to Fuuka, wasn’t it? Shoot, gotta had another tally to the “Tomoko-Katou ship is actually kind of cute” chart.

At this point, she and Okada need to start a support group for the Tomoko-challenged.

I gotta say, I fully expected Tomoko to be hypocritical enough to deny Fuuka an answer, but not Katou. More than anybody else, it feels like nobody, not even her closest friends, really understand who Katou is. I’m counting the chapters to the day it all comes to blows.

So close, and yet so far.

Back to fill the void with the ol’ earbuds, huh, Yuri?

Well, Tomoko is perpetually tired, but I’d imagine suspension isn’t doing her any favors. A loner Tomoko may be, being locked up for a week in pseudo-solitary confinement (with Yoshida, no less) is bound to lead to some cabin fever.

I think the old Tomoko would brag about it before the fact, but after experiencing it, she'd take it back after realizing that suspension actually kind of sucks.

In old news: Yuu is a sweetheart and deserves the world.

Ah, Komi. I can't tell if you're ignorant, in denial, or just being a bitch, but your delusions of grandeur towards Tomoki never fail to amuse me.

It took me a while to realize that we were going over several days throughout this chapter. The time transitions are just that subtle, and I'm pretty sure that was intentional in order to emphasize how Tomoko's absence is really screwing with everyone’s sense of time.

Is this the first time anyone other than Minami has acknowledged Ucchi's lack of a face? Alright, Minami, you win this one.

Also, this is so going to add fuel to the fire on those NSFW headcanons about Mako and Minami’s "pet play" relationship.

Wow. When she says it like that, it puts Minami in an almost sympathetic light. Curse that endearing dependency of hers.

I see that Okada’s infamous shut-her-down moment from the field trip has left some after effects. If nothing else, Fang Girl knows when to fold ‘em.

Obvious imagery aside, I do like that they include Yoshida as one of the “loud” ones in the class. She’s definitely more of the “in-your-face” type of loud, while Tomoko is mostly loud in presence, and it really drives home just how extra loud the two are when together.

A wild Hirasawa appeared!

Somewhere underneath Yuri’s veil of apathy is a very particular layer of empathy. That being, her affection for Tomoko. Yuri may get jealous of other girls, but she can understand how it feels to have an attachment to someone, and when she recognizes that in someone else, that’s when she’ll go the extra mile.

Even she can’t abandon an underclassman all by their lonesome.

That said, it wouldn’t be Yuri if flashes of green didn’t flicker in her eyes at times.

Then that green turns into...whatever color is usually associated with begrudging respect.

Aw damn, this is going to be one of those heartwarmingly bittersweet endings, isn’t it?

Continuity porn.

Okay, ya’ll, but that glimmer of hope in Yuri’s slightly widened eyes is just golden. I hereby put this at the top of my “Top 5 Purest Moments in Watamote” List.

You know, if this were earlier in the series–as in, before Nemo opened up to Yuri–this would come off as pretty mean in the context of the plot, even if it really isn’t. It’s still trollish in a way that only Nemo can, but it feels like a genuine offer of friendship now that we’ve seen these two slowly come closer together. And if slice-of-life manga has taught me anything, it’s that walking home from school together is the Friendship Rite of Passage.

I’m sure Yuri’s first instinct was to punch her out, but hey, any reaction is a good reaction.

Actual proof that Tomoko has temporal powers that allow her to accelerate the passage of time at a rate that’s proportional to her exuding weirdness.

Or, you know, they all just miss her.

If there’s one thing that this series has taught me, it’s that the most wonderful of friendships can start with a mere coincidence.

At the start of Watamote, I never would’ve thought that the series could hold its own without Tomoko. And yet here we are. Gone are the days where the cast was just her, Tomoki, and Yuu. The cast has expanded exponentially since then, and their stories are all rich enough to headline their own series. But no matter how far the web grows, it always comes back to Tomoko. Even with Main Character Privilege, her existence is the glue that binds everyone together. And while this chapter gave us a unique insight on favorite characters, it also gave us a chance to see an alternate reality where Tomoko (and Yoshida) don’t exist.

And as expected, it’s a dull, dull world.

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izzy-b-hands · 5 years

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Happy At Home-Part One

This was gonna be a short bit of Sledgefu about them moving house. Turns out it is more than that, and a lot longer now! In any case, thanks to all who read/like/reblog and I hope you guys enjoy!

Part Two to ? (idk how long this full thing will end up lol) I will post asap as I finish them!

The apartment was starting to show its age.

Granted, it was old when they started to rent it, but now...

Eugene pondered if an apartment could be called elderly as Snafu thunked the handset of the phone down with a clatter.

“Fuckin’ landlord. Fuckin’ bullshit. We got no heat, and that ass goes on about how we should be able to tough it out,” Snafu shouted.

“Snaf-”

“I toughed it out! That fucker-he didn’t even ship out! We finished the damn mess for him, now he inherits this fuckin’ piece of shit building from his father or grandfather or who the fuck knows, and he thinks he can talk to me-”

“Merriell!” Eugene shouted, only so Snafu would snap back and really hear him.

“For what we pay for this shithole...” Snafu grumbled, then stomped back to join him on the couch. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry for anything. I get it-but you’re gonna destroy your voice yellin’ like that. And the cold won’t help it if your throat is sore,” Eugene said as he tossed one of their many accumulated blankets over Snafu.

Snafu pulled the blanket so most of his face was covered, only his eyes free. “I know. He’s still a fuckin’ asshole.”

Eugene bit his tongue not to giggle at Snafu’s voice, muffled by the blanket. “He is. But we’ll make do. We always have, always will.”

Snafu brought the blanket off his face and frowned. “We been livin’ here for over two years. The heating coulda been fuckin’ fixed by now.”

Eugene sighed and pulled Snafu close. He was right-they’d been asking and now begging damn near every winter they’d been there for it to be fixed.

“If I could find us a house-”

“People might talk,” Eugene started. They’d had this discussion a lot, as of late.

“I don’t give a shit. Tell ‘em we both had girlfriends before the war, but when we came back they were gone, so we stuck together,” Snafu spat. “So now we have each other, and if that bothers anyone, I’ll go find one of the grenades we used to carry and jam it so far up their-”

“Okay, okay. I think I get the picture you’re painting. And it is a hell of a picture,” Eugene replied. “But let’s say we find this house. How the hell are we paying for it?”

Snafu shrugged and snuggled closer to him. “We’d figure it out.”

“Someday, maybe. Least we got a roof over our heads now.”

The phone rang, shrill and overly loud in the quiet apartment. The cats jumped, all lumped together in a basket with a blanket over them as Eugene stood to answer it, a blanket still wrapped around his shoulders.

“Eugene?” Sid sounded tired.

“Hey, how are you?” Eugene asked. It had been a good few months since they’d talked, longer since Sid had visited. He missed him-plus, it was one of the only ways he could get updates on how his family was.

“Your father-” Sid sighed, but it edged on a growl. “Is a wonderfully kind man, except for right now when he’s being a damn stubborn ass who won’t just do this himself. I, as middleman, am supposed to ask you if you and Snafu won’t come down and do your parents a favor of sorts.”

“They know Snaf would be coming with me, no matter what this ‘favor’ is, right?”

“I already told them. They still keep callin’ him your ‘roommate’. Not sure if they haven’t figured it out yet, or if it’s straight up denial. But either way, they said this applies to the both of you,” Sid replied. “Now, your parents decided to build a new house-”

“What? Where, and why?” Eugene laughed. “What bullshit is that, anyway? This country can’t even house all of us that came back, and they went and built something new?”

“Eugene-”

“Look, Sid. We’re sittin’ here in a damn tiny place that hasn’t had proper heat in the winter, or ventilation in the summer since we moved in. We pay out the ass for it, no matter how many extra hours we both pick up at work. We’d love a goddamn house, even if it was barely warmer than this place. So hearin’ this-” Eugene choked on his words. “Just-what the hell do they want with us?”

“They don’t want to sell the old place. They consider like piece of the family history, or whatever. Your brother said no to staying there-he’s got his own place, his own things goin’ on, as you already know.”

He did. His brother called a bit more than Sid, but the calls were always on edge. Still filled with ‘I love you’s and ‘hope you’re well’s, but there were questions unasked in between them.

“Okay, so? They have two houses instead of just one, pity them,” Eugene sighed. He loved Sid, but tonight wasn’t the night to listen to how well other people were doing while they struggled. He just wanted to sit back down and warm up next to Snafu, who was watching him with an increasingly confused look on his face.

“The cold made you dense or somethin’? What the fuck do you think I’m about to ask you?” Sid laughed. “You get the house, so long as you two are willing to move back down here.”

“I’m sorry?”

“You. And. Snafu. Get. The. House,” Sid replied. “They’re tryin’ to do a nice turn for you, while also making themselves happy by keepin’ the house. Furnished, ready to go for you, all you have to do is come back.”

“Forgive me, Sid. But there’s no way it’s that easy. They’ve got to have some motive-” Eugene started, but Sid cut him off with a heavy sigh.

“As far as I know, they don’t have any motive other than greedily wanting two houses.”

Eugene moved the handset from his head, and turned to Snafu. “So, you were talkin’ about that house.”

Snafu pushed his blankets off and walked over to him. “What the hell is goin’ on?”

“We got a house waitin’ for us in Mobile-my parents’ old house. Apparently, all we have to do is show up, and the place is ours,” Eugene said. “It feels...too easy.”

Snafu nodded. “Maybe. Or maybe...”

“What?”

“You miss them. I know you do, don’t try to lie to me. And I bet they miss you. And I’d bet they’re just as stubborn as you-” Snafu continued.

“I am not that stubborn,” Eugene protested.

“Yes, you are,” Snafu and Sid spoke at once, Sid’s voice tinny from the handset.

Eugene sighed, and shot Snafu a look.

“Anyway, I’d gather they needed some way to show they care for you, without meetin’ up with us and everyone bein’ all emotional and messy. A nice place to live where they know you’re safe might be that way,” Snafu said.

“We’d have to pack fast,” Eugene protested. There was something in the pit of his stomach that made him too nervous to just say yes to the prospect of going back. Even if Snafu and the cats would be with him.

“I can manage that,” Snafu said as he gently pulled the handset from Eugene’s hand. “Hey, Sid? Tell ‘em we’re comin’ down. The cats, and whatever junk we want to keep that we can fit in the car.”

Snafu listened for a moment, then nodded. “And we’ll meet you to get the key. Sounds good. Yeah, I’ll wrangle him into a better mood by the time we get there, don’t you worry. Be seein’ you, Sid.”

Snafu hung up the handset, and wrapped his arms around Eugene. “C’mon. Smile, at least a little. We’re gettin’ out of this frozen tundra-”

“It could be colder, if we’d ended up further North,” Eugene said as he let his head fall onto Snafu’s shoulder.

“You get to show me around Mobile, we’ll have a nice clean place-I’ll get to see your old room!”

The tears started to fall before he could stop them. He let the blanket fall as he grabbed hold of Snafu and clung to him.

“Whoa, what is this? C’mere, sit down,” Snafu slowly walked them back to the couch. “Talk.”

“They’re doin’ this because they love me?” Eugene choked out. “I mean...it isn’t that I don’t appreciate it, even if don’t agree with all of this, like them building another house when there’s plenty like us who can’t find anywhere to live. But if they love me still...I mean, we invited them here, how many times, to show them the town and have dinner with us?! And they never even acknowledged any of those invites-just had Sid tell us they couldn’t make it. I sent them letters after we made it back, made it here, and the few they sent back-”

He was a mess, tears falling faster than he could brush them away, his sinuses already aching. “Anybody could have sent those back to me. Hell, Burgin sent back nicer, warmer letters than what they sent. They love the idea of me, of who they want me to be. And I’m sure they feel some sense of obligation to me, as their child. But I don’t know that they truly love me, as I truly am. Or if they ever will.”

The silence hung between them, until Eugene slowly raised his head.

Snafu was weeping, tears running fast down his face. “Sledgehammer. I-”

He sighed and sniffled as he looked away for a moment, as if the words he needed were running away from him. “Eugene. I can’t tell you exactly what they feel; I know you know that. But I can tell you how I see it. And the way I see it, is that no matter how they feel, it seems like they’re tryin’. Tryin’ to do somethin’ at least. Now, we could use the place-someplace a little bit nicer, bit bigger. I understand why you’re nervous about it, because who knows if they’ll come by or what they’d say if they did.”

Snafu sniffled again as he grabbed Eugene’s hands and held them tightly in his, so tight it almost hurt. “But I can tell you this. If they do come by, after we’re down there, and they try and hurt you at all, or make some ultimatum about us in order for us to keep the house, then we’ll just go.”

“Snaf-”

“I know, I know, that would be hard and scary because where would we go and what would we do. But you know what? Just like you said-we’d make do. We’d find somewhere to land. Find jobs, find another apartment. Hell, if we really struggle then we’ll go to Sid or Burgin and tell ‘em we’re sleepin’ over for a few weeks. But we sure as hell wouldn’t stay, if that’s how they’d be treatin’ you. If that’s how it would be, then they can let that house rot, empty and lonely,” Snafu said, tears still falling, but now with something strong behind his eyes. They were piercing, but loving all at once.

“Okay,” Eugene said shakily. “I think...I can do it, if we keep that as a plan, just in case. Would be nice, not havin’ to worry about the cats freezing overnight. They’d have my mom’s garden to play in and run around.”

Snafu nodded. “You could plant whatever you like there. Dress the house up however we want. Actually have room for shit, even!”

They laughed, and Eugene let himself fall against Snafu slowly to push them both back into the couch.

“We’re really doing this,” he sighed.

“We really are,” Snafu replied. “Tomorrow, at least. I am not packing up anything tonight though. I want to get some sleep, and keep you warm.”

Eugene moved to press a kiss to Snafu’s neck in agreement. That at least gave him time to will his stomach to calm, before they’d be packing and getting on the road.

#text post #LeeH writes #Sledgefu #how long will this be idk lol #this has turned into a whole big plot in my head now #like four different little prompts I was gonna tackle all melded together #at least I have tonight and tomorrow to try and write it all out before I have to work again

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chordstrvck-blog · 5 years

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sharp gray eyes size up their unwanted companion through a lung-staled waft of smoke. “ ‘ey. ” a tip of the chin. cigarette ash darts to pavement. crunch. eddie grinds that shit in, real good. nothin’ like a pair of trusty docs to do the trick. “ what the fuck’s your damage ? ”

or alternatively : yo, yo, whassgood ? the name’s liana ( she/her/hers ) and i am so friggin’ hyped to bring you my spoopy lil’ music man, eddie williams !! below the cut you’ll find a big hodge-podged mess of facts, potential connects, and other delicious chips of info. his favorites are hoppin’ jalapeno crunch tators, thanks for fuckin’ askin’. ( imagine how heartbroken he’ll be when frito lay discontinues them in the 90′s... rest in spaghetti never forgetti. )

— ❝ wait is that THOMAS HAYES ? or is that KEITH EDISON “EDDIE” WILLIAMS who arrived in las vegas TWENTY-THREE years ago? HE is TWENTY-THREE years old. last time i checked they were a GUITARIST IN CRIMSON & CLOVER / ARTIST AT ATOMIC TATTOOS . rumour has it they’re very BEGUILING and very HARUM-SCARUM. the CISMALE reminds me of SAY WHAT YOU WILL BY FASTWAY.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: DEATH, DOMESTIC ABUSE, VIOLENCE, DRUG USE/ABUSE, MENTIONS OF ADDICTION.

eddie is the lovely ivy williams [ @poiseonxivy ] ’s older brother ! they grew up in a contentious household here in vegas, with an abusive alcoholic for a father and a complacent/despondent mother. fed up with the abuse and chaos, their mother walked out on them when eddie was 13. he and ivy caught her in the act, and this savage kid called her out for being a coward and opened the fuckin’ door for her. “ die in a ditch, ” is the last thing he ever said to that sorry waste of a woman.

naturally, things with their father only got worse. he was quick to provoke and impossible to please. the williams siblings had to step up to upkeep their home, make sure bills got paid, etc., all while receiving the worst of it from their father. ivy, as the youngest, was blamed for the family’s downfall. eddie got berated and slurred at for his tendency to peruse his sister’s things, paint his middle fingers interesting colors, ask her to do his makeup on halloween. his father was the first person to ever look eddie in the eye and call him a faggot, and, well... that shit dug deep.

it’s not that he’s overly concerned about it. hell, labels are fuckin’ dumb, alright? he’d sooner be gagged with a spoon than told he has to live his life all boxed up. he doesn’t care that the lady at the bar’s stunning and so is the guy pourin’ her drink, alright? what he does care about is... what if he is that thing his dad said? what if he... what if he is the man his dipshit dad saw in him ?

guitarist in el’s band, crimson & clover ! the band formed several years ago and has been playing gigs ever since. it’s definitely made him grow as a guitarist : you can frequently find eddie chilling on fire escapes experimenting with new riffs and the like. he’s absolutely got that band aesthetic –– distressed tees, tight pants, leather, leather, leather. doc martens. beat up sneaks. jaw-length hair, wavy. usually teased on stage and left to its own devices off-stage. music has always been an escape for him, especially from the hellscape that was his childhood home. catch him chillin in el’s record shop, cig in hand, blissed out to the latest rock releases blasting in his headphones.

jake wheeler’s next-door neighbor / best friend ! we have yet to plot about this, but that’s a wc eddie fills & we could do something with that, too!

tw: drugs, abusive tendencies, mild violence. eddie’s genetics do predispose him to addiction. and, unfortunately, this bitch way more than dabbles in a haphazard lifestyle. he’s BIG into psychedelics, stimulants. alcohol. acid. he’ll pulverize the occasional bar asshole’s face. make fights out of nothing. but s’not a problem, alright ? he’s cool. he’s cool. ( this guy’s a sinkin’ ship in heavy ass denial. )

art. tattooing. art has also played a pivotal role in eddie’s life. from a very young age, he created edgy doodles: skeletons in their sunday best, ghost cartoons carrying guns. the late 60′s/early 70′s saw his school notebooks filling with vietnam-inspired strips, doodles, and sketches. he used to draw “tattoos” on his fellow delinquents during detention in sharpie ink. gave himself his first poke tattoo on his ankle ( a scrawled so what ? ) in eighth grade. now, he works as a tattooist at atomic tattoos. always flirts with the clientele. and they always leave happy.

tw: death. wears a dharma wheel pendant at all times, tucked beneath his shirt or, if he’s shirtless, just out in the open. he’ll say he found it in the street, but it actually belonged to a guy he started seeing his senior year of high school, in secret. glenn farley. he was older, around 27, but he offered up the first safe place eddie’d ever known. dude disappeared close to eddie’s graduation. eddie stayed angry for a long time, until his photo turned up in the obits : glenn was killed in a hit-and-run outside a dive bar.

on the topic of sexuality & gender expression : eddie honestly couldn’t give a flyin’ shit. he’s of the belief that existence shouldn’t be coded or explained. so, yeah, he’s male. and yeah, he’ll be attracted to whomever he pleases. but in a time where that shit’s not too common? not too accepted? he does feel like he’s playing hide-and-seek. it’s exhausting. and... there’s still something that nags him, at the back of his mind, when he decides to hook up with a guy. it’s all tied up with his family history ( see the stuff about his dad above ) .

eddie is very outspoken & unfiltered. he won’t mince his words; he’ll speak bullets without considering the exit wound.

he’d much rather have coffee and cigarettes than a meal. but if he’s gotta have food? and you’re forcing him? cinnamon waffles with ten gallons of syrup. delicious.

wears rings because hell, if he’s gonna punch you, he wants that shit to hurt.

smells like tobacco and amber and fresh-fallen rain.

likes makeup. tends to get away with some eyeliner/eyeshadow on stage, but typically doesn’t wear any day-to-day. maybe some eyeliner on his waterline, but... he’s learned how to get by.

cross his sister and he’ll eat your face for breakfast.

default greeting: blinking at you like you’re offending him by taking in the same air.

honestly he’s never thought to leave vegas. he likes it here. his crew? they’re good people. as in reckless. fun.

has almost a full sleeve on his left arm, and two bands curling around his right bicep. one ear pierced, but doesn’t always wear an earring there.

can he offer you a winter green lifesaver in this trying time ??

goes by eddie or williams. call him keith and he can’t be held responsible for what happens to you. the only person who’s got keith privileges is his kid sister.

thomas hayes has brown eyes but eddie’s are a staggeringly light blue-gray. they look like ice. he’s 6′1 and that type of lanky that tends to look sleek, enticing, and mildly emaciated. he does have muscle to him, but the guy doesn’t eat very often and he’s on a steady diet of destructive habits, so... he’s got that matty healy circa 2012 vibe going on

potential connects.

chaos crew. they hit the clubs. they try their hand at scheming and tricking the best poker leagues. chug beers, crush the cans, and toss ‘em in front of cars. experiment with drug cocktails and haunt the town. all laughs and dilated pupils and forgetting, forgetting, forgetting the cracks in their ribs, the scabs on their knuckles. nothin’ hurts when your blood pumps this quick.

diner pal. eddie rolls up to his favorite diner in the wee hours of the morning. 2am, 3am. when he can’t sleep or he’s comin’ down from a heckish night, he’s there, whole pitcher of coffee and a stack of waffles. mussed hair. an entire encyclopedia of wild stories. one night, he stumbled into this person’s booth high as all shit, and they’ve been inviting themselves to one another’s tables ever since. could be a romantic connection. could be platonic.

ex on bad terms. kid’s got commitment issues. i’d love to give them a source.

fuckbuddies. they could just be friends who get fucked and do the deed. maybe there’s feelings. maybe it’s a you service me, i’ll service you situation. either way, they’re indulgent. they’re reckless. and they’ve got no regard for any damage they’ll cause.

people he’s tattooed.

sworn enemies. acerbic words, gnashing teeth, icy glares. they’ll cross the fuckin’ street just to avoid being within a ten-foot radius of one another.

caretaker. a friend ( or even stranger ) who’s taken it on themselves to monitor this maelstrom. all i can say is... good friggin’ luck, kid.

obviously there are so many more but this is just a list to get some juices flowing !

if you want to plot, please feel free to message me !! i’m headed to the gym now but after that i’ll hit up the starter tags !! so flipping excited to write with you goons !!

#eightyintro #❖ – if i don't think i'll blow my mind ! psyche.#death tw #drugs tw

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thaumaturtles · 5 years

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Epilogue Thoughts

So, I finished the epilogues at around 11 AM on 4/21 and spent the better part of today mulling over it internally. Overall, I think I liked ‘em. Don’t get me wrong, they were brutal and tragic and ripped my heart out, but this is my garbage and I’m allowed to enjoy it. I was planning on liveblogging the epilogues but constantly pausing to jot down my feelings detracted from the overall experience. This is probably gonna be pretty scattershot, since I have neither the ability nor the desire to order my thoughts properly. Now, without any further preamble, let’s get into it.

Jane

A lot of people said they didn’t like the treatment of Jane in the epilogues, and, fair enough, she was pretty awful and Crocker stans have every right to be pissed. But to anyone saying it came out of left field or didn’t make sense, I’d have to disagree (for the most part). Jane was brainwashed by the Condesce for the first 16 years of her life, and we see the effects of this when she goes Crockertier. She’d almost certainly have baked-in presumptions about how trolls were “meant to be” (ie super violent) even before she was consciously aware that trolls as a race existed. Jane was also always really in denial about having been brainwashed by the Condesce and I can definitely see adult Jane flat-out refusing to do any self-analysis and just assume there are no remaining effects of the brainwashing and she’s “totally cured” now or whatever. Jane’s also not super progressive? Like the conversation where she discovers Dirk has a crush on Jake and that Jake might even reciprocate was pretty uncomfortable to experience, and she starts a business on Earth C even though there’s no real need for corporations in a world with infinite resources. This shows that she’s still stuck in the belief that capitalism is inherently good/necessary for no reason other than “it’s what i grew up with.” All in all I could totally see Jane as someone who’d grow up to become xenophobic and have this colonizer mentality of “I have to regulate the Other because they’re not capable of functioning without me”

As for the non-consensual/rapey stuff... I’m actually not gonna touch that shit with a six-foot pole. The narrative is very explicit in the fact that Jane is an abusive partner and what she’s doing Is Bad, but like if she’s your favourite character you probably aren’t going to be all gung ho about seeing her do all the things that she did, which were admittedly very upsetting to read. I completely understand if you couldn’t read past those parts because they were pretty rough.

The Epilogues do get pretty unpleasant to read though :/

The Epilogues are highly antagonistic towards Homestuck’s readers. This is a fact. Whether this is a good or bad thing is up to interpretation, but it is at the very least not a new thing. Listen to Kate Mitchell of the Perfectly Generic Podcast and YouTuber OptimisticDuelist for more in-depth analysis than I could possibly provide on this, but one of Lord English’s greatest weapons is his ability to get people not to care about Homestuck, or even better, to revile it. That’s what the aspect of Rage represents: Plot Contrivance. As Karkat says,

THERE ARE OUTCOMES THAT ARE EVEN WORSE THAN THE COMPLETE ANNIHILATION OF EXISTENCE ITSELF. FORCES MORE DAMAGING TO THE INTEGRITY OF REALITY THAN THOSE CAPABLE OF TURNING IMAGINATION INTO PURE VOID. THEY ARE FORCES WHICH IF HANDLED RECKLESSLY WILL NULLIFY THE BASIC ABILITY OF INTELLIGENT BEINGS IN ALL REAL AND HYPOTHETICAL PLANES OF EXISTENCE TO GIVE A SHIT.

This is repeated, by Hussie himself no less, later on during his smug self-insert, found here. After Hussie dies and loses control of the narrative, LE is free to try his hardest to get you, the reader, not to give a shit. Rose, in the Epilogue’s Prologue, says that if people stop caring about Homestuck, reality as they know it will break apart, which is exactly in line with LE’s plans. So the fact that the Epilogues are very hostile towards the reader is basically par for the course. That said, I can see how it kinda sounds like I’m being all “oh it’s SUPPOSED to be shitty you wouldn’t underSTAND,” but that’s. literally what’s happening. and there’s evidence for it in the text.

Of course, in the past, when the narrative would pull things like this it would be under the guise of, say, Homosuck, which is very obviously meant to be bad and is presented in a fun, satirical way. The Epilogues, on the other hand, are downright upsetting. They’re presented in a much grittier light, which can obfuscate to what degree it’s Actually A Joke, if it even is a joke in any capacity. The fact that they’re tragic, though, should not be seen as evidence that they’re bad.

Some stuff I Liked

Both routes had some really top-notch interactions in them. A lot of folks seem to be overlooking how genuinely good the writing was. I said the phrase, “they’ve still got it” ALOUD to myself once or twice because the dialogue really did have that good ole Homestuck Charm. The Dave/Karkat/Jade interactions early on in Candy (before everything went to shit) were pretty great, as was basically everything that came out of English’s mouth. I dunno who the Antiquities Consultant was, but they did an excellent job at mirroring Jake’s usual speech pattern. I find that a lot of people, when writing Jake, just kinda throw in as many random old-timey words as possible and as a result it feels kinda disjointed, but the writing team for the epilogues managed to make him feel very... would light be a good way to put it? Sort of airheaded I guess. Just very goofy idk

We got to see Rosemary and they were married and raised a kid and it was the best! Rose was really well-written, as was Kanaya; I really loved seeing those personalities balance each other out again. It was nice to see them be good parents in the Candy-verse. The Vriska they raised was such a fucking scamp too! It was nice to see a Vriska who had a positive home environment but still had that same spunk

Also, Dave. Just, all of Dave. He was really solidly written throughout the whole thing. I fucking love his interest in the economy holy shit. I got to hear Dave Strider say the phrase “neoliberal austerity measures.” That’s the best. “Economically Aware Anti-capitalist Dave” is rivaled only by “Karkat (True Leftism)”. I’ve seen a few complaints that Dave’s interest in the economy was also OOC, but for one thing he’s an adult and can cultivate new interests if he likes, and for another Dave is a pretty clever kid, and very numerically-minded. (Is that a term? I mean he’s good at maths and such). Don’t forget, not only did he manage to accumulate all the wealth on LOCAH in the span of three days by taking over their stock markets, but he also used the hash map modus in his day to day life, showing that he was able to do calculations in his head as quick as breathing. As shown here, the hash map modus is pretty complex and requires you to come up with a word that has the same value as the thing you wanna use in order to use it. That’s not easy to do on a dime and yet he uses it in his rooftop battles with Bro. All of this is to say, he’d certainly learn to be very good at economics if he wasn’t already. It just suits him.

Oh and I also love that Dave still makes SBaHJ and Karkat has a bunch of sockpuppet accounts he uses to defend Dave’s honour. it’s very cute.

Karkat also had some lines in the epilogues damn. I hadn’t realized how starved I was of VantasRage until I read a few of his rants. Also we finally got to see Badass Rebel Leader Karkat and he’s just as great as we all knew he’d be

The davekat kiss in Meat was great too. It was very gratifying to see after all the narrative cockblocking that went down in Candy.

John realizing in the Candy universe that he isn’t responsible for everything and that they’re all still just people with their own autonomy was good. Much as I have problems with the Candy universe on a whole I liked this specifically.

Also, roxygen! I love roxy/callie as much as the next guy but John and Roxy were very cute near the end of the comic and I liked seeing them grow up and have a kid. John names his son after the guy from Night Court because he’s a massive dweeb. Love it.

We got some great Terezi writing as well. The johnrezi at the end of Meat was nicely written and made me feel a whole host of emotions despite me not even having shipped them that hard beforehand.

OH MY GOD THE OBAMA SHIT. I almost forgot to put this in because I was focused on other stuff but my word the whole Obama Situation was beautiful I loved every second of it. It was so over-the-top in the best way and it simultaneously carried airs of being So Serious And Important To The Narrative and being just the dumbest load of crap. I loved it so much

Also, I was very happy with Roxy and Callie coming out. Roxy talking about how he’d already come out as dating an alien with a green skull for a head and how it felt like maybe he was being “selfish” by also wanting to come out as trans was a great illustration of something that already-out LGB people often feel when realizing they don’t identify with their assigned gender. Additionally, Calliope coming to terms with the fact that they don’t have to identify as female just to further differentiate themselves from Caliborn was great. It really helped to show how far they’d come from just being Caliborn’s foil into being their own person. However, this leads into:

Some stuff I didn’t like

Speaking of Roxy and Callie’s transition, Dirk also came out. As a transphobe. Which was disappointing, to say the least. He made a point of misgendering Roxy as often as possible and was pretty dismissive towards NB people when he learned about Calliope’s identity. (You could make an argument that Dirk is being thoughtless by misgendering Roxy and not intentionally malicious, but I don’t see Dirk as the kind of guy who slips up very often. He’s very careful with language.) I always headcanoned Dirk as trans, as I’m sure most people did, so having him just up and become transphobic was kind of the worst. I intend to talk about Epilogue!Dirk a lot more in a later post but yeah. Not a fan.

EDIT: I’ve thought about the Dirk thing a little more and he does eventually start calling Roxy by the correct pronouns, albeit in kind of a “see see look at how openminded im being youre such a manly dudely stud bro” way. Dirk’s initial discomfort with Roxy and Callie’s identity more comes from his own egotistical belief that he should have already known about it than it does from genuine animosity. That aside, he does still say “She probably would have loved being a “they” when she was a teen,” which sorta rubs me the wrong way. I might just be being oversensitive though.

Also, in the Meat universe, Rose and Kanaya split up! I’m very upset about that. Ultimate Power be damned, I want happy, married lesbians! It sucks that we either have Rosemary OR Davekat but not both

On the topic of davekat, Jade really got done dirty by both Epilogues, huh? She was used as a narrative device in one and was an intrusive presence in the lives of Dave and Karkat in the other. TBH I was never a fan of davekatjade for a lot of reasons but I would have preferred they be in a happy poly relationship than what actually happened in Candy.

Actually, the only two polyamorous relationships in the Epilogues both turned out awfully. I doubt any of the writing staff had anything against poly people; I’m sure it was just a coincidence but either way it’s pretty unfortunate. I have a bit to say about this but this is running too long as is.

Gamzee

Fucking Gamzee.

Unanswered Questions

Will there be any further updates? I sure hope there will, because the ending was not very satisfying and creates more questions than it answers. I can sort of see where it might be going but they left way too much up in the air and it feels very much like it’s unfinished. V has referred to it as “the whole thing” on twitter, so it might be finished for good, but i really hope it isn’t

Why did Rose say the session they’re creating will be the most important session of SBURB ever played? Why couldn’t they play it on Earth C? Surely Earth C’s inhabitants would be more used to seeing alien life forms and would know the basics of SBURB, thus making it more likely for them to survive it. Why go to the trouble of seeding a whole new planet? I’m curious.

Can a character be said to be “Out Of Character” if the character’s own creator wrote those actions? What if they passed on the actual writing to someone else but still had to verify it themselves? What does OOC even mean? Does it mean “this doesn’t fit my headcanon” or “there is no evidence for this” or “the author wouldn’t write them like this”? If it’s the last one, can an author merely saying “this interpretation is correct” absolve ANY action from being deemed OOC? I like that I’m being made to think about this kind of thing now

To what degree is each universe truly “Canon”? I’m aware that Candy lost its canon-ness when John decided not to fight LE, but the two universes are intrinsically linked: we see characters from one universe travel to another and it’s implied that Terezi has spoken to both Johns. How canon is Meat, even? Are either of them even still bound by the need to be part of the Alpha Timeline anymore, since Lord English has been created? What does anything mean?

Final Musings

I understand completely if you don’t like the epilogues. Maybe you think they’re too dark. Maybe you just don’t agree with portrayals of the characters. Maybe you hate that they gave jade a fucking tail when she never had one in the main comic. There certainly were bits of it that I wasn’t a fan of, but there are also parts I really wanna go draw fanart of right now. I like the Epilogues, but if I write fanfic or make dumb joke posts about Earth C, I’m probably gonna ignore large swaths of it (such as, I’ll probably keep both John and Dirk alive, and make them kiss a lot)

There has been a great deal of vitriol directed specifically at Hussie about the epilogues despite the fact that other people worked on them. It’s difficult to take these criticisms in good faith when so many people are blaming solely Hussie. I’m aware that he had total control over actual plot elements and wrote a bit of dialogue, but the bulk of the actual text was written by V. Another thing I’ve noticed is that people’s attitudes towards the epilogues are very much like the general attitude towards Act 7 when it first came out. I’ll admit, I left the Homestuck fandom in like 2014 and didn’t return until mid-2017, but people’s Jimmies were definitely still Rustled even then. There was a general atmosphere of “I hate Hussie, and you should too! The ending was bad and no one asked for it!” but as time went on, and people started analyzing the ending and making meta posts about it, everyone sort of grew acclimated to the ending. Suddenly, the general consensus was that Homestuck was Good Again Finally and the ending was Amazing and The Fandom Loved It. I feel like maybe that sort of thing’s gonna happen again with the Epilogues. I really hope that, as it continues to update (if it does), everyone will sort of chill out about it

#homestuck #homestuck analysis #epilogues #epilogue spoilers #tw rape mention #i really felt roxy's hesitance to come out because i also feel like this sometimes? i'm not too sure what i really id as #and any degree of introspection makes me feel pretty guilty #like im already bi why do i need to be genderweird too #that was a lil too personal so i didnt put it in the main post #also im definitely gonna make more posts about this im not even close to being done talking #long post

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turtle-steverogers · 6 years

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Departed- Chap 9

here’s chap 9 it’s a doozy. read here on ao3

Warnings: mentions of emotional, sexual, and physical abuse. be. careful.

Editing: minimal oop

Race and Spot laid tangled together on their bed. It was two days after Race’s birthday, and subsequently, the kiss they had shared on the ship. They had yet to discuss what exactly was happening between them, but they had silently agreed to allow some time to simply enjoy each other’s intimacy. Cuddling at night and around the house took on a whole new energy, and even now, as Race shifted around in his place in between Spot’s legs, his back pressed against Spot’s chest as they scrolled through their phones in comfortable silence, occasional kisses were being exchanged. The peace was broken when Race clicked off his phone and chucked it sluggishly onto the floor. Spot flicked his eyes away from his email app, where he had been checking his work schedule, and peered down at Race, who was twisting his fingers. Spot could practically feel anxious energy emanating off of the taller man in waves, and he casually moved the arm that had been draped across his middle off of him to allow him space.

“What’s up?” He asked carefully, also clicking off his phone and placing it on his bedside table.

He could see Race scrunching his nose periodically, a clear sign that he was in deep thought. He felt him take a deep breath, “I, uh, I wanna talk to ya about….I think I’m ready,” He said in a small voice.

Spot furrowed his brows, “Talk about…” he hesitated, “The other night?”

Race shook his head, then shrugged, “Yeah, I mean, I guess that ties into it, but that’s not what I meant.”

“What did you mean?”

“Melissa,” Spot felt his breath catch in his throat, “I’m ready ta talk about what happened.”

Spot nodded, “Share however much or little ya need,” he pressed an encouraging kiss to the top of Race’s head, “And stop if ya need to,” he added. Race didn’t say anything for another minute or so and Spot waited patiently.

“At first, she was perfect. Beautiful, smart, interested in the same things as me. I felt like I could be myself around her. We were a power duo, ya know,” he paused, swallowing, “I guess the first red flags were pretty minor things. Well, I don’t wanna say minor, but they hid themselves. I didn’t realize what she was doin’ was unhealthy ‘til it was too late.”

Spot hummed, listening closely, but not saying anything. Race continued, “She’d, uh, like get mad at me, right? And usually it was because I actually did somethin’ shitty, I realize that. I’d take her anger and harsh words and I’d let her be mad at me, because that’s how ya move past things. Ya get it outta your system, then work it out. I took the blame for things I deserved, but she couldn’t be bothered to do the same. If she did somethin’ wrong and I’d bring it up, she’d twist it around to be my fault. And suddenly, I was the one apologizin’ for being mad at all. I was in a constant state of guilt. I was scared to be mad at her, because I knew I would have to shoulder the blame. When I finally did bring it up, she cried for hours about how horrible she was and suddenly, again, I was the one comfortin’ her for something she did to me. It was suffocating.”

Race was speaking in a lifeless, almost monotone voice and Spot was surprised at how well he was keeping it together. It seemed as though he was detaching from himself in order to recount what he’d been through.

“Then there was the humiliation shit. Anytime we were around a new group of people, or even her friends, she’d bring up shit stories about embarrassing shit I’d done or things about me I’d rather people not know. I tried to tell her to stop, but then she’d jus’ tell me I was bein’ sensitive and I’d hafta bite my fuckin’ lip. It frustrated me ta no end. Also, oh fuckin’ also,” his voice turned malicious as he spoke, “She was fuckin’ awful about my ADHD. Like, she had no patience for my shit and when I’d get overwhelmed she’d fuckin’ leave me to rot. Or-or if I didn’t take my meds? God, she’d fuckin’ snap at everything I did. I think she was embarrassed, but-” he cut himself off shaking his head, “Anyway, it started gettin’ really bad around last Winter.”

Spot tensed his shoulders in anticipation. He had a feeling he knew what was coming, but he still didn’t want to hear it.

“We were fightin’ every week- constantly goin’ ta bed angry. Shoutin’ at one another, or more like, her shoutin’ and me tryna reason. It was exhaustin’. But then, one night,” Race’s voice wavered and he took a moment to compose himself, “One night she had this fuckin’ sick idea that we’d fuck away our problems. I agreed ‘cause I was too tired not ta, but as soon as we started, I wanted ta stop. My skin felt like it was burning, I-” his breath hitched and he quickly sat up, moving away from Spot and wrapping his arms around himself.

Spot watched helplessly, “Racer, if this is too much you can-”

“No,” Race said, voice shaking, “I needa do this, please.”

Spot nodded, biting his lip, “Alright.”

Race looked down at the sheets and heaved a breath, “Our, uh, our fights were replaced with sex. It was almost every night, whether I wanted ta or not. I tried to say no sometimes, but she’d ignore me until I gave in. I was so tired of fightin’ that I jus’ fuckin’ went with it, but this was worse. I was stuck.”

Spot felt anger bubble in his stomach and he bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from lashing out and interrupting Race.

“I had enough one night and I tried ta walk away while we were…” Race pursed his lips and shook his head, steeling himself, “But she cornered me and slapped me really fuckin’ hard before I could even get my shirt on. I was shocked and she seemed to realize that it gave her leverage. From then on, whenever we disagreed about somethin’, she’d slap me, or flick me, or do somethin’ to get me to stop fightin’ her way. I knew it was bad, but I told myself that she wasn’t outright punchin’ me or nothin’, so it was fine. ‘Sides, I was the guy so-”

“Hey, no, that doesn’t excuse shit,” Spot cut in, “Guy or gal, a hit is a hit.”

Race grimaced, “I know that, Sean, I was jus’ in denial. I dunno. Anyway. it went on like that for a few weeks until, uh, fuck..” his eyes glazed over and he fixed his gaze on a place above Spot’s shoulder.

Spot felt unease grip at his spine and he sat up ever so slightly, “Racer?”

Race shook his head, eyes focusing again, “Sorry, sorry, uh. So, it went on like that until one night I’d had enough and I tried ta stop her by grabbin’ her wrist and twistin’ it,” he winced, “I hate that I did that, but I was so tired of, uh, yeah. I let go as soon as I’d grabbed her, but he was livid. Started throwin’ things. Got me right in the rib with an iron- I still have the scar.” Race lifted his shirt to reveal a long, white scar right below his left pec, “hurt like a bitch.”

Spot could see Race trembling as he lowered his shirt back down. He ran a hand through his blonde curls and blinked a few times, breathing through his nose, “The slaps never stopped, but now she wasn’t afraid to go harder and I endured it. Kept tellin’ myself that I’d be too much of a burden to ask for help. I started ta think I deserved it. Until that day when she was drunk. Came at me with that broken bottle and somethin’ in me snapped. I was hurtin’ and done and so so tired, I just couldn’t anymore. As soon as she was satisfied with her handywork, I fuckin’ left. And that’s when I came ta you,” he met Spot’s horrified gaze and sighed, “I don’t know why I didn’t jus’ leave as soon as she started bein’ shit, but I was so so lost,” his voice sounded tired and Spot wanted to scream.

“I love you, Spot,” Race choked out, voice thick, “You saved me and I wanna be happy with you, but I’m so fuckin’ scared.”

Spot shook his head, dumbfounded. He searched for the right words as he began to speak, “Race, I know you went through hell. Fuck, I’m gonna end that bastard next chance I get. But as far as we go, just know you are always safe with me.”

“I jus’ don’t know what I’m ready for, yet,” Race said, sniffling, “I wanna be with you, but..”

Spot leaned forward, tapping Race’s chin lightly to get him to look at him, “You’re settin’ the pace here, Racer,” he said softly, “You let me know what you’re ready to do and what you’re not. You let me know what your boundaries are and I swear on the heavens that I’ll stay in them.”

Race’s face crumpled and he pressed a wet kiss to Spot’s lips, who reciprocated it, then pulled him into his chest, “You’re in control, Antonio.”

“Thank fuckin’ God.”

—

we get relationship development next chap and Spot’s thoughts so stay tuned

thanks for reading, chiefs

hmu to be added to my tag

TAG LIST:

@bencookisagod

@we-dont-sell-papes

@suddenly-im-respecsable

@aw-jus-let-em-try

@well-the-kids-do-too

@spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn

@thatpoorguysheadisspinning

@labert-dasilver

@andthewoildwillknow

@the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog

@sunshine-e-cigarettes

@have-we-got-news-for-you

@musical-shitposts

@thebroadwayaesthetic

@thomasbeingthomas

@irondad-spiderson-duo

@snakesarenonexistent

#newsies #racetrack higgins #newsies fic #spot conlon #sprace #departed

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killian-whump · 6 years

Text

Salty Ask List

FUCK IT. I’M GONNA ANSWER ALL OF ‘EM IN ONE GO.

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get? The only OTPs that confuse me are the ones between characters who never even met in canon. I’d say Frozen Jewel is one of the most confusing ones for me. I mean, I actually do enjoy the ship in AUs... but it’s like, how? why? where did this start?

Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP? Hmm. I don’t really ship romantic Captain Charming. I like ‘em only as a BroTP. There’s also some FoeTPs I don’t enjoy romantically, either, as I prefer the antagonism over any kind of, you know, tender feelings. Namely, those are Captain Gothel, Captain Pan and Golden Hook. Of course, please note I said I prefer them not to be romantic - that doesn’t mean I dislike them being sexual. I just like them being, er, all slap and no tickle if you know what I meeeeean.

Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion? I follow very few people to begin with, so I unfollow even fewer - and my only reasons for doing so have been too many posts outside of my interests (ie not Once/Colin/Whump related), poor tagging (particularly of political posts) or inactivity. I also unfollowed some news blogs when I decided I was seeing too many set spoilers on my dash.

Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP? No. I don’t think there’s any ship that actually bothers me in the Once fandom. The only NoTP I’ve ever really had was Rin/Sesshoumaru in the Inuyasha fandom.

Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you? Sadly, the toxic CS fans aren’t helping when it comes to my mixed feelings about that ship after S6. I still love S2-5 CS, but some of these folks make you just want to throw the whole ship away just to spite them... and to distance yourself from their nonsense as much as possible.

Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated? No. In order for me to actually hate a ship, I’d have to have some pretty deep reservations about it, and no amount of fandom flair could really change my mind about it.

Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now? Honestly... I actually did really like CS pre-S6. S6 left me pretty conflicted on the ship, but I still loved the s2-5 stuff. And then the toxic CSers started sending out hate asks and blowing S6 criticism out of proportion and... honestly, they’ve kind of tainted CS for me, even the good parts, because I just can’t fully distance the ship from the worst of its fans.

Have you received anon hate? What about? Gods, yes. I’ve posted almost all of it, aside from some hateful comments I got in response to some facts I dropped on a post about pedophilia. Oops. Sorry, not sorry. Most of the hate I’ve gotten is, to put it simply, because I don’t like CS/Jen/Emma as much as fans of those things think I ought to, apparently. Again - sorry, not sorry.

Most disliked character(s)? Why? I hate Happy, because he’s played by a complete asshole. I’m annoyed by Robin, because she’s generally cocky and fake. I’m bored by Snow White, because she’s too... bland. I also get angry about her, because the show was so busy trying to hide her added weight that they turned her into a frump instead of letting her be an attractively-dressed woman with a little more weight around the middle. I’m kinda weirded out by Archie, because he just seems like he's up to something, but too boring to ever figure out what it is he’s trying to be up to.

Most disliked arc? Why? The mess of 4b. Too many storylines with too little interest. Too much red eyeliner. Too much silly drama. Too many totally random characters being introduced and then dropped like hot potatoes. Too little pirate whump.

Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why? Mother Gothel. She’s truly terrible, so everyone hates her. But I like truly terrible villains. They’re the most fun.

Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why? The Frozen arc. I loved seeing Elsa and Anna and Kristoff :)

Unpopular opinion about XXX character? DO WE HAVE A TRIPLE X CHARACTER? CAN IT BE HOOK???

Unpopular opinion about your fandom? I don’t think I have one...? I mean, I have some strong opinions on some of the crazy-ass factions of this fandom, but I think they’re actually pretty popular opinions :P

Unpopular opinion about the manga/show? Season 1 is pants. No pirates.

If you could change anything in the show, what would you change? Killian Jones in S1. More Killian Whump in every episode. Hooked Queen made canon in S7.

Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen… XYZ is anything where Hook wasn’t whumped. ABC is anything where Hook is whumped. Oh, and every scene where someone else gets whumped, I’d change it to be Hook getting whumped instead :)

Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased? No. That’s silly.

What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom? The nutjobs who can’t just let people enjoy whatever the hell they wanna enjoy... or NOT enjoy whatever the hell they don’t enjoy.

What is the purest ship in the fandom? Captain Floor.

What are your thoughts on crack ships? I mean, I (*cough* Captain Floor *cough*) really just have no (*cough* Captain Bondage *cough*) strong opinions on them (*cough* Krakillian *cough*) one way or another...

Popular character you hate? I only hate Happy. But I think my feelings for Robin (F) vary from the norm the most.

Unpopular character you love? Didn’t I already answer this? Mother Gothel. I also love Hades, and I think most people were kinda nonplussed by him.

Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not? Yes, I would recommend porn to all my friends.

How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX? I would’ve made Hooked Queen canon in a more definite way. But having said that, I think they ended the show perfectly, in a way that lets people see whatever they want to see in certain interactions and supports a multitude of ships and fanon interpretations.

Most shippable character? Killian Jones! boop boop all aboard!!! :D

Least shippable character? Archie.

#tumblr games #salty ask list #about me #come at me bro

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senseri-oria · 6 years

Text

Poorly Placed Timing.

| - Music - |

Days had been long and nights even longer, the passing between sun and moon dwindled the time until a countdown that no one could escape. As much time as possible had been spent trying to reconnect, attempting to convince that the Captain should have let her go with him and yet with her own hands tied to her own work, Sen had no choice but to go with the flow. That morning, she and Eyri were to set off for Idyllshire but not everything was to happen so smoothly.

"Ashes!" Sen stood outside the entrance to the cabin on the familiar ship, by now the crew that worked was used to her coming and going as she pleased, daring to not ask a single question in fear of a Keeper's wrath. They hardly paid mind to the tiny Miqo'te knocking on the door.

"Oi Ashes! You better not be cumming, because I'm coming in!" All the warning she ever gave. She had also called him on their Pearls previously, only to assume the reply that never came was because he was still passed out drunk.

If only she knew that would have been the preferred outcome.

The door was pushed open as Sen ignored the calling of one of the crew trying to catch her attention, she had much bigger fish to fry. The cramped space had become easy to maneuver around, her attention to detail had her muscle memory already slipping around trinkets and books, even the map-laden table until she was able to find the particular couch she'd come to inhabit.

After a deep cleaning and a few finishing touches, the couch was hardly anything akin to the Captain's quarters. A fuzzy, pink throw blanket resided, a bag stashed near it contained extra clothing and supplies. The pillow always looked freshly used and on the tiny table near one of the ends, nail polish and lipgloss were scattered, along with a few accents of make-up.

Needless to say, she had half-moved into her brother's place.

"Oh-Em-Gee, you'll never believe what I've had to deal with this morning!" She gasped out and turned to flop onto the couch, wincing once she landed on something hard. Sitting up, Sen plucked out a half-chugged bottle of whiskey, ears perked at the grace of the Twelve. With little hesitation, fingers untwisted the lid to take a swig, using it more as mouthwash and swallowing than anything.

"And I don't wanna talk to Eyri about it because he's going to fucking kill me. AND! You're the only other slut I know that I trust enough to bitch about this--" Sen paused, glancing over to the bed to see if the reason Xev'tan had been ignoring her was that he was purposely doing so or because the lazy Keeper had still been asleep. She took a moment to stare at the empty bed, the haunting realization of talking to herself crept in.

"Ashes?" Settling the bottle aside, Sen gripped the armrest to hoist herself up and peer around, checking ever so blatantly in the bathroom and soon even under the bed, the desk, even a glance through a junk pile of loot in a corner. "Oi ya fucker, I'm not in the mood to play around. I'm hungover and I am having a boy problem!"

There was a muffled scraping at the door which turned Sen's attention and entire body frame to face, hopeful in perchance that he had simply been out and was returning. A hand pressed itself on her hip to strike that ever unamused pose she gave him when she was ready to pout; when the cabin entry swung open, it wasn't the Keeper standing there.

A loud bark sounded out from the mutt barrelling through the cabin, the stubbed tail wagged violently enough to shake his entire rear quarters that all but crashed into the couch, desk, anything in the canine's path to reach the Seeker.

"Moyo!" She chirped, kneeling so that when the Dog With One-Hundred Names lunged, she was able to half-catch him and hug on. "Who's my good boy?! Yuuush it's you, yes you are!" Spoiling 'Mate' was her forte, as was only adding onto the list of nicknames the beast was called. She figured in the end, as long as someone was talking to him, Moyo didn't care who called him what.

"My precious baby, yush, where's the Captain, hm?" Her nose had pressed to the wide-eyed dog's expectantly, waiting through the staring contest as if Moyo would answer only to have her entire face slobbered on in one lick. Eyes closed and her nose scrunched but she couldn't be mad. If anything, a soft giggle sounded out. "Where is--"

"He ain'ts 'ere, darlin'." The semi-familiar voice had Senseri finally sit up to look and see who else came to visit and while the massive Roe could have filled the doorway, he dared not step an inch inside. The concerned look the man carried was enough to note he almost feared to have to deliver the message.

"Where is he? Brothel again?" The jab earned a snort from herself, pleased at the insult as hands had moved to help roll the giant mutt over to give a damned good session of belly rubs.

Thavnair.

She couldn't hear his voice answer, it was the subconscious tick in the back of her mind that rang louder than his muffled explanations. Her world slowed down and cautiously, mismatched eyes strained to peer around for any sign of what she needed to hear, what she needed to see.

"No, he... Don't be fucking stupid, if he left for there, he would have told me goodbye. He's not that much of an asshole." Attempting to reason her denial, the Seeker rose to stand, still ignoring the muffled plight of the Roegadyn in favour of her own sudden need to be proven right.

She must have missed it.

Moyo jumped up onto the bed to lay as he watched the fury of pink rip and tear through the cabin. What had started as an innocent search turned more frantic and aggravated. Cushions were turned over, her bag and contents dumped and sifted through to try to find something.

Anything.

"Right Moyo? He wouldn't have, he always says goodbye, it's because he's coming back." Turning to the mapped desk, fingers fluttered over every note, every paper, under every empty and full bottle that remained. The more that time passed and few places were left to look, the harder she found it to breathe. Who was she trying to convince? The man still at the door? The dog? Herself?

In the end, there was nothing left for her in his writing, nothing to indicate that he had an inkling of decency to tell her. The realization struck her hard, slamming into her chest and robbing her of the very breath she was trying to find. The cry of frustration was nothing compared to the pounding in her head, the doubt ignited the trigger of fear and understanding as to why she hated trusting people.

"Ashes," she spat out, flicking her fingers to a familiar Pearl on her hairclip that connected her directly to the Captain in question. "By the Goddess Xev, where are you?"

There would be no answer.

"Xev?"

Nothing.

"BY THE TWELVE XEV'TAN TATSAE YOU BETTER ANSWER ME!"

Silence.

Before anyone could know what happened, Sen's balled up fist shot outwards and slammed into a wall, embedding it up to just past her wrist until she felt stuck there, driving away her mental breakdown to focus on the ache of broken skin. Droplets of blood left in the wake of freeing her hand from the crater, a proof of what had done the damage. Fingers stayed curled, bloodied knuckles strained into a white colour from trembling muscle.

"Honestly, I'm still trying to wrap my head around why Ashes chose to help us."

"Save his own neck? Maybe he just likes you is all. Perhaps he wanted you to not get killed because he knew you couldn't kill him. Screams protecting."

"I dunno... Twenty years ago I know he would have done anything to save the three of us, but now? Now I don't even know what to think... Or do, you know? I knew him and now I don't but I still see Ashes in him. I know it's him, just... I'm gonna watch this explode, I just know it."

The recollection of a conversation with Eyri pelted the back of her mind, forcing her hands to reach up and cover her face. Senseri hardly noticed her legs giving out from under her or that her back had pressed to the wall she was sinking down until the ground was where she sat. The piercing pressure to her heart was a cold reminder of the truth she hadn't wanted to face.

Bloodied palms cupped over her mouth soon after, muffling any sort of pained noise from the heated swell and sting of tears overflowing down and onto her cheeks. Even if she could keep herself from making any audible distress, it didn't stop her from clinging to the mutt who had jumped from the bed to come to investigate. He sat there patiently with feeble attempts to wag what little of a tail he had as patches of dark fur became tainted with tears and mascara.

The undamaged hand raised upward after a bit of coaxing, fingers pressed to one of the pearls again, fumbling to even get it to connect. It took everything she had to steel her breath and voice.

"Pheli," she called the first person she could think of, the only image clear enough in her clouded thought and vision to know who may have had better connections. Favours were to be repaid. "... We need to talk."

@xevtan (Mention) @smolcatte (Mention) @eyriosto (Mention)

#thorns of thavnair #ashes to ashes #partners in crime #A family in trust #been a while I'm rusty

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corgisocks · 6 years

Text

85 questions

tagged by @ribenaflip 💞💕💖💗

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

EDIT: as of 2019, this tag is like 20% irrelevant to what i’m like now....did it in 2017 so

— what was your last…

1. drink: water

2. phone call: it was me calling jojo’s phone so they could find it

3. text message: “I am having a major crisis”

4. song you listened to: coffee & tv by blur

5. you cried: that’s tmi but also saying it’s tmi is tmi and all of this is tmi so what am i DOING

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: nooo

7. kissed someone and regretted it: yes i kissed a piece of toast and it got crumbs all over my face

8. been cheated on: if i have been that’d be concerning seeing as i’ve never not been single

9. lost someone special: not recently.

10. been depressed: 24 hours 7 days a week m8

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: what is an alcohol? (no)

— fave colours

12. vermilion 13. cerulean 14. very very dark grey

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: YEET (shoutout to the gc)

16. fallen out of love: i WISH (lmao it’s been 2 years please end me)

17. laughed until you cried: yea obvs

18. found out someone was talking about you: many times. many many many times.

19. met someone who has positively changed you: YES. my bestest buddy has and not in a bad way. i’m definitely a better and happier person because i met him

20. found out who your friends are: i never think about friendships in that kind of way. and if i did i probs wouldn’t care to be like ‘they were a shitty friend’ instead it’d just be like they were someone in my life and it sucks that they’re not/don’t want to be in a good way anymore but shit happens. and i don’t take it personally

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: what is a face book because if it’s like a book of faces i kissed myself in the picture of my group of friends that is in my yearbook

— general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know irl: again…what is a face book

23. do you have any pets: YEET

24. do you want to change your name: i mean idk i think i’d be cool with just usin a nickname for now i’ll figure the legal stuff out later

25. what did you do for your last birthday: went to my friend’s birthday party. spent almost all of it looking for one of the people who was invited with two of my bros. then i saw wonder woman, went to a reallyreally good korean bakery, and then went to the empire state building. and last but not least, the next day, my friends came over and we played clue and mariokart. all in all it was a 10/10 birthday tbh! (it was an anomaly though ngl my birthday this year is going to be infinitely more depressing)

26. what time did you wake up today: 5:30 am cos my school starts too fuckin early ;(

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: taking a shower

28. what is something you can’t wait for: plake’s upcoming single (it’s my fav and i’ve been wanting it in my library for m o n t h s so i’m 110% ready for it

30. what are you listening to right now: the sound of people talking

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i was at an improv comedy show and of all people i was picked to volunteer and when i was on stage my shoe fell off and one of the comedians who was called tom was like 'your foot has been borne to the audience’

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: my own exhaustion!

33. most visited website: my school’s online gradebook 😬

34. hair colour: really dark brown (some people think it’s black but NO)

35. long or short hair: short...it will never be long again i assure you

36. do you have a crush on someone: yes ;(((

37a. what do you like about yourself: i may be an awful person atm but at least i can understand why i am the way i am and know how to improve

37b. what’s something you don’t like about yourself: too many things. rn though i don’t like how i come off as like a 'show-off’ when i’m trying to help people cos me trying to get them to like actually understand what they’re learning always sets em off even though it’d be worse to just do things my own confusing way and leave em in the dust. i also hate how i get frustrated with them (and myself tbh) when that happens

38. want any piercings: hecc no

39. blood type: i legit have no clue

40. nicknames: lou, coco

41. relationship status: what is a relation ship

42. sign: gemini

43. pronouns: he/they i GUESS

44. fave tv show: peppa pig tbh

45. tattoos: hecc no!

46. right or left handed: BOTH

47: ever had surgery: nope 😬

48. piercings: once again HECC NO

49. sport: used to do tennis and track. now i kind of just do a lil bit of everything for fun and i love biking and running

50. vacation: yes please. i need a vacation from LIFE

51. trainers: i’ve had the same old black nikes for three years and the same flip flops for five ;( (and i also have some black converse high-tops that i never wear unless i need to look 'nice’ whoops)

— more general

52. eating: i prefer raw foods to pretty much everything so poke bowls are my jam. i’m also a vegetarian who doesn’t eat fruit because what is self-care??

53. drinking: water. it’s important to stay hydrated

54. i’m about to watch: my surroundings that aren’t my phone

55. waiting for: this tag to be over. yikes

56. want: to pass english for ONE GODDAMN MARKING PERIOD before i graduate cos i haven’t since mp1 of ninth grade during which i got a 99 (now i have a 15 look how far i’ve come!!)

57. get married: i mean…

58. career: ah yes i’ll probably have one of those

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: y'all mean in relationships? no pref. generally speaking though i almost always hate both

60. lips or eyes: no pref

61. shorter or taller: no pref…

62. older or younger: i don’t think about any of this shit i am so confused!!

63. nice arms or stomach: what constitutes an arm or stomach being nice?

64. hookup or relationships: labels ew neither is good

65. troublemaker or hesitant: somehow i’m both. like i’m loud as fuck and kind of obnoxious and audacious but i also have 9.9/10 self-control. so like i would be cool with either type of person

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: i hope not

67. drank hard liquor: hecc no

68. turned someone down: i thought i was gonna have to but that never happened WHEW

69. sex on first date: what is this “sex” you speak of? what is a “date”?

70: broken someone’s heart: i hope not! except hearts are kinda squishy so like i probably haven’t

71. had your heart broken: no although my heart rate’s so high i fear it will explode one of these days

72. been arrested: so far, no

73. cried when someone died: :((( chris cornell. i was lookin up soundgarden on google to find tour dates near where my uncle lives and then i saw it and i was like 'no. nononono. nonononononononono.’ then i let one tear escape from the ducts in my eyes before going into denial river. (aren’t i so fuckin clever 😤😤😤)

i also cried during a tribute to chester bennington at a muse concert if that counts

74. fallen for a friend: once again ew labels but y'all should know by now that i HAVE and i’m STILL falling ;(

— do you believe in

75. yourself: i have no concept of anything in existence and this tag has made me realise that. whoops

76. miracles: i could ramble about this one but i don’t have the time

77. love at first sight: dunno, but i will say that when i met my best friend i knew i was going to love him from how he acted and what his sense of humour is like. he’s so unique really like you can TELL he’s his own person and he owns it without trying to

78. santa claus: yes but only cos i’m tryin to stay off the naughty list

79. angels: what is an angels

— misc

80. eye colour: this is a subject that has been widely debated so for now i’ll just say they’re either grey or green or both

81. best friend’s name: zeke

82. favourite movie: i have no concept of having a favorite movie unless it’s based on who it’s by so i’ll say my favorite pixar movie is wall-e for the sake of having something down for this question. otherwise it’s probs either memento or the imitation game.

83. favourite actor: myself 🤔

84. favourite cartoon: oh shit that’s too hard. my favs as a young child were tom and jerry and the first season of the pokémon anime and i guess my fav one that’s more 'mature’ is bojack horseman (although i’ve only seen half the first season lol)

85. favourite teacher’s name: my favorite is either nicole, hyungmin, rebecca, eileen, hayley, matt, kevin, or robert, but like…i hate picking cos that’s just unfair. so idrk

can’t tag rn but do this if you want to i guess

#i am a relatively uninteresting person #tag

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bluesakura007 · 3 years

Text

Lilium - Khan Noonien Singh x OC

Summary: The cryotube which Khan has been kept in after being sentenced for his part in the events of STID has malfunctioned, to the point where he’s hanging on to life itself by a thread. All that’s left for commander Zinalya Hamilton to do is to visit him in this last moments, to make one final farewell...

Warnings: ANGST and character death. Seriously, this is probably the most angsty thing I’ve ever written lmao. And there’s also a few mentions of alcohol abuse.

A/N: This is absolutely definitely NOT the real series of events that happens in my Khan x OC ship, it’s honestly just a what-if AU idea that suddenly popped up in my head. The only real series of events in the story of Zinalya x Khan that isn’t AU is the happy ending of Undeniable. ^^

It was in the late evening stage of the day when captain Jim Kirk received the message from Starfleet Command.

Uhura had been the one to send it through to his quarters, without opening the message herself, upon its arrival in the communication systems of the USS Enterprise. As you probably would have guessed, he wasn't expecting its melancholy contents at all - due to this origin source of the message being Starfleet Command, he initially believed before opening it that it would be a set of new orders for a diplomatic mission to carry out, but the thing is he couldn’t have been more wrong if he tried.

He soon found himself affected by this melancholy content of the message; not only was there a serious recent development to contend with that anyone would be feeling sad about to some kind of degree, but one of the first thoughts that went through his mind was the certain fact that his security chief, commander Zinalya Hamilton, wouldn’t be pleased about it in the slightest.

"You wanted to see me sir-" This security chief herself began to say, but she abruptly stopped in mid-sentence upon seeing the scene before her. She’d just entered into one of the Enterprise’s meeting rooms later that night at the end of her duty shift, having been asked by Kirk to come due to him having something to tell her, but what she hadn’t been expecting was for the other seven senior officer comrades to additionally all be in there, standing around said meeting room with their captain. Scotty, Pavel, Sulu, Spock, Uhura, Bones and Carol Marcus.

"Evening, Zin." Said Dr. McCoy, his voice somewhat somber.

"Hey." She greeted in reply, before a small joking smile appeared on her face. "This isn’t some kind of intervention is it? I mean lately I’ve gotten better with my... ethanol problem, ask anyone." Zinalya still suffered from bouts of longing and hopeless desperation every few days or weeks over the absence of the man who, to put a long story short, she wanted to end up in a relationship with.

Her plan that she’d executed two years prior, back in 2259, was an attempt to convince the Federation court who’d carried out Khan Noonien Singh’s tribunal - after his fear and sorrow-induced retaliation against Alexander Marcus for the magnitude of this admiral’s manipulation against him - to allow the two of them to be sentenced to an exile together on a distant planet with his seventy-two comrades after she’d found herself helplessly falling for him a couple of days or so after he was captured on Kronos, so that they could be with each other and so that he and his fellow Augment friends could start the new life that they’d been looking forward to since the 1990s.

However, this plan of hers had failed, and he was instead sentenced to be placed back into cryogenic stasis and stored with the other seventy-two with no end date to this sentence. Over time, Zinalya’s frustration and despair at the injustice of this situation, the only man who’d ever meant that much to her romantically being taken away and effectively kept in an icy coma most likely until the end of time, had driven her into a reliance upon vodka, beer and sometimes Romulan ale for the purpose of numbing the pain of her now never getting the chance to pursue that possible relationship with Khan. Nowadays, she still smiled less than she used to and still suffered from these sad nights caused by her trains of thought about him, but over nearly the last year she’d been trying to kick the booze habit in the realisation that it was anything but good for her.

"No, it’s not an intervention. But you should probably sit down and brace yourself - what we’re about to day is pretty serious, and to be honest you’re not gonna like it." The CMO answered, the somber tone in his voice not dissipating.

"Okay." Currently a little bit confused at this, she pulled up one of the chairs in front of the table in the middle of this meeting room and perched herself in it. Kirk, Uhura and Chekov were the ones sitting in three more chairs, while the others remained standing in various places around them.

It was Jim’s turn to speak and to begin the revelation of what the communication received earlier had said, but for a couple of moments he was stuck for how exactly to phrase the things he was going to say in the next few seconds. "I was sent a message a couple of hours ago from Starfleet Command: you know that facility in New York where Khan’s been kept with those others...?"

"Yeah, Sierra-Lambda 3. Why?" She momentarily felt a tiny spark of hopefulness at the word “been”, a past tense word, but then she remembered what Bones had just said about how this news that was about to be revealed wasn’t going to be something she’d like in the same amount of time, which was half of a second.

"Well, the message said something’s gone wrong with his cryotube. It’s gone very wrong." Now came the most difficult part of the explanation. The commanding officer took another momentary pause to let out a tiny, almost inaudible sigh of anticipation. "Do you remember how we found out a couple of months after the whole incident that twelve of his friends in the other tubes had died at some point and rounded down their total numbers to seventy-three?"

"Yeah...?" Zinalya was beginning to have a bad feeling about where this conversation was going.

"The thing is, the same kind of errors that threw those twelve tubes out of whack have happened to Khan’s, too." Said McCoy gently. "It's 'cause those things are old technology, so it's a little less easy to keep all of 'em maintained. The life support systems of his cryotube have picked up something in their code after being used for the last couple of centuries ish before three years ago: that life support system just started breaking down."

"The doctors and researchers at the facility in charge of keeping an eye on him and the others tried everything they could to stop it. They prevented him from getting killed, but the malfunction of his life support in the tube has apparently still gotten away with weakening his lungs and heart, and he's... been taken to a hospital in the city." With this same tone, Pavel picked up some of the rest of the explanation from there, being one of her two closest friends. And then there came the underlining fact of the whole thing. The words that the others had all been dreading to tell her the most. "Khan's dying."

"What...?" After having a few of her own seconds of silence upon hearing this, Zinalya's vocal volume was not that much higher than a whisper. "No, he can't be, they must've made some kind of mistake. I mean he's an Augment. He's a superman, as McCoy called him - he's strong. He wouldn't be killed off by something like this."

"It's what killed off those twelve who'd died in the time before he was first woken up in this century, and he's become a victim of the same thing." Scotty, the closest of these two friends, replied to her denial. His eyes contained a sadness born out of his concern for what this matter was going to mean for her emotional state. "They say they've managed to maintain all of the others and these kinds of errors are rare nowadays, but he ended up being on the receiving end of that rarity."

"The doctors at the hospital have managed to save him for the time being and they've given him some sedatives to make it as painless as possible for him, but they've only saved him for a short amount of time. They've said he's got about a day left to live, two at a push." Added Kirk solemnly.

This couldn't be happening, especially not when Zin's time with Khan had been so short. Only a little bit over a week, to be more specific. "So that's it? He's been through so much, practically through hell, and this is how it ends?" Her voice gradually began to raise as she spoke, a noticeable sense of anger creeping into it as well.

"Those guys at the hospital and Sierra-Lambda 3 did everything they could to save him, like Chekov said." Uhura responded, this same kind of sadness in the chief engineer's eyes showing up in her own, as well. "They tried their best, Zinalya."

"Well they should've tried harder!" The half human-half Trill shouted back, her previous frustrations of feeling helpless against the impossibility of her and Khan being able to be together amplifying itself tenfold in this moment. However, she soon looked back on this exclamation a second later in regret, as she realised just as soon that her crewmates were just as unable to stop this as she was. "Christ, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled like that; I know it's not your fault." Her voice wavered at the back of her throat as she found herself involuntarily taking a breath afterwards.

"If we found out that someone close to any of the rest of us was dying we'd be feeling the same way as well." Replied Carol in reassurance.

"You must have held a great amount of endearment towards Khan." Said Spock. Normally he wouldn't be one to get involved in the emotional side of the matter at hand, but if there was anything he'd learned from his Enterprise comrades over the last few years it was that there were times when the decent thing to do was to step up and offer consoling insights into this emotional side. "I am very sorry for you having to face this development, commander Hamilton." The concern on the others' faces was fading into life on his.

"He must've meant quite a lot to you." Sulu gave his own respects.

"People all around me are going through their relationships and everything's coming up sweet and rosey for them, and what the hell do I get left with?" Commented Zinalya bitterly, stopping for a moment before reluctantly releasing one last word in a somewhat more hushed tone. "Nothing."

"I'm sorry, Zinalya." Said Scotty, his own voice additionally a little bit more quiet compared to before. It then dropped again by another notch or two. "We all are."

"Yeah - it's not exactly a mystery how much you were missing him once he'd been sent off to dreamland." Bones' voice didn't contain his usual snarkiness, and was instead laced with the same kind of sympathy which was now mirrored in the voices of the others.

"The message also said we can divert our course to go back to Earth so you can see him if you want, but it's your call. It's up to you whether or not we go." Jim told her.

"I want to see him." Her answer came about five or six seconds later, once again at the volume level which was not that much higher than a mere whisper, while without her consciously realising it, both of her eyes had begun misting up. "So I can say goodbye to him one last time."

The immaculately polished white floors of the corridors in this hospital in New York, as a result, reflected the images of Zinalya, Pavel and Scotty just as perfectly. Sounds that were a cross of sorts between a thump and a click were produced as the heels and soles of their shoes made contact with this ground surface every half of a second, the trio's feet guiding them through the halls towards a certain wing and, once they got there, a certain room, now that they were past the entrance and had found out which room this was. By now they were up on the ninth floor, and of course during their journey through the hospital various doctors, nurses and orderlies had walked past them down both directions of the corridors. The hair and clothes of the three were coated in a layer of wetness because of the fact that they'd just come indoors from the heavy downpour of rain going on outside.

"Do you want us to come in with you?" Asked the Russian, the three of them now standing in front of the door they were looking for. It was the next day on from the revelation to Zin about what the matter at hand was, and after she'd told the others that she wanted to see the man behind this door for the final instance, Kirk had allowed Mr. Sulu to turn the ship around so that they could head back to Earth in order to make this wish happen.

"I'd prefer it if me and Khan were alone." This same woman gave her reply.

"Alright. We'll stay out here and wait for you; just take as long as you want with him, lassie." The engineer told her in a soft and benign tone, giving her a consoling hug in advance which Pavel, in addition, contributed to by joining in.

Taking a moment to psyche herself up for whatever she was about to see next, she took another couple of steps closer towards the door and turned its gleaming metal knob to enter through it and into the room, with the two accompanying her standing back so as to carry out the part where they waited for her.

She definitely needed this brief process of psyching herself up: as soon as she opened the door and stepped in as she did so, the first thing that her green eyes landed on were Khan's own turquoise ones looking back at her, their lids half closed most likely out of exhaustion from his current condition.

It was only to a slight degree, but his normally flawlessly combed jet black hair was a little bit less so. However, there were much bigger changes than this to his appearance compared to the last time she saw him that grabbed her attention more quickly. His skin was pale but not the same kind of paleness that he usually possessed anyway; this kind of pale skin colour he had at the moment was the ghostly kind, and normally there was a sort of twinkle of vigour and depth in his eyes like a shark ready to strike, but that twinkle seemed to have disappeared completely. On some parts of his bare chest were respiration and heart rate monitors with intravenous drips, in addition, being located on his left forearm and the left side of his neck, all of which connected to thin plastic wires that snaked around his torso on his bed. The IVs must have been a solution to another aspect of his new state of health: apparently it had also been reported in the message to Kirk that Khan was too weak even to eat or drink anything. A nasal cannula was coiled around his face just underneath his nose and around the back of his ears and the upper half of his neck, no doubt as a means of helping with the weakening of his lungs.

Seeing him like this made Zinalya feel like she wanted to cry. She'd managed to mostly keep herself from doing this the previous night after she'd heard about his state and had predominantly kept herself calm and collected once she'd gone to bed, but no matter how much she'd tried, actually seeing Khan this weak was nonetheless worse than when she'd pictured it in her mind.

"You must be the commander." Said one of the two nurses who were tending to him right now, just finishing up with checking on his heart rate monitor which was quietly beeping away in the background. It sounded marginally slow.

"That's me." Replied Zin, doing her best to ignore the stinging sensation in the back of her eyes. "Is it okay if the two of us are left alone for a few minutes?"

Diverting his gaze from this officer, Khan looked up at this nurse who'd just spoken, and even though he didn't say anything out loud, he gave a small nod of his head to indicate that this was indeed okay - he trusted her.

The nurse nodded her own head, more noticeably and less slowly. "Alright. We'll be on duty outside." She gave a brief, sympathetic smile before she nodded towards the door while looking at the other nurse on the other side of the room, the two of them making for the door and exiting through it.

To the right of the room were tall glass windows, through which the rain downpour outside could be seen running down it and down the gleaming skyscrapers nearby, and to the left was a vase of white lilies on a white table, these flowers' presence probably being a personal touch for whichever patient might be there. The sunlight outside was faint but was of a colour temperature that stood on the threshold between warmth and coldness.

"It's good to see you, Zinalya." He managed to get these words out, albeit a little bit slowly. From the sound of it, his current condition hadn't affected the baritone pitch of his voice.

She moved across the room towards him and sat down in the chair to the left of his bed, stuck for the words to respond with as she was still in the process of trying to get past the feeling caused by seeing him in such a weak state. "You haven't got any idea how much I'm glad to see you too." She eventually released these words of her own, while the rain could be audibly heard, as well. It was like a curtain of soft, calming white noise representing the world of nature. Although there was the occasional equally soft rumble of some of the dark clouds producing this rain off in the distance, this actually added more to this tranquil atmosphere than it took away; it contributed a sense of depth to the noise.

"How long ago was it, when we last met...?"

"It's 2261 now, so that was two years ago." Answered Zin. "What was the... the first thing you're able to remember happening after getting woken up this time?" She asked her own question a bit hesitantly, as she herself was feeling purely dreadful about this situation so she was reluctant to imagine how he was feeling about the fact that he was dying. From the last few seconds that she’d spent looking at him, her eyes had caught sight of him seemingly holding a white lily in his right hand, not unlike the ones in the vase nearby.

"I have very vague images of being transported to this hospital, but the first clear memory that I have from this most recent awakening is coming to in this bed and being told about my... circumstances for being brought here."

"Did they also send my message ahead to you?" This previous night shortly after the revelation, at her behest, Kirk had sent a reply to the message from Starfleet Command asking for the hospital staff in charge of looking after Khan for his last few days to tell him that Zinalya was on her way to see him.

"They did - that’s why I have this." It took a moment, but he slowly, weakly raised up his right hand, the one that was holding the lily, and loosened some of his grip on it. "Once I knew you were coming, I tried to get up and retrieve a flower for you from the grounds outside, but I was stopped before I’d even finished sitting upright. In fairness, I highly doubt I would have been physically able to complete that task regardless." At first, the small smile which then adorned Khan’s features was created out of the dry humour of this statement he’d just made, but it was soon plain to see that it was additionally born from the fact that, as he’d said a few seconds beforehand, he felt glad to see Zinalya. "One of the nurses agreed to retrieve it for me instead."

As she reached out and took the snowy white flower from his hand, feeling a little bit of the surface of its petals on her fingers, this was the moment when the tears that had previously just been a sting deep down in the back of her eye sockets came into being at the top of both of her cheeks.

"Why did this whole cryotube malfunction have to happen, huh?" Asked Zin, using her own dry humour with a tiny chuckle - one that faded away again very quickly and afterwards became replaced by a sorrowful frown. "Why did you have to go and do this...?" The left one went that little bit further but both of these tears that had now materialised swam down the rest of her cheeks' length.

Although his eyes looked sunken as continuous outward reinforcement of his frailness, the concern showing up inside of them at the sight of this fresh wettening of her face was obvious. Still with some slight difficulty, he once again raised the hand he'd been using until now to hold the flower and tenderly wiped away the tear on the right side of her face, then the left, with his thumb. "I don't know why this had to happen. I suppose fate has chosen me as its new plaything."

"This is weird, too: the last time I saw you was two years ago, but talking to you now's like I only saw you last week or something." Zinalya admitted what she was thinking out loud.

"It's almost funny - I was thinking the same thing." He replied.

"You and me are going to fight this all the way, Khan." She said afterwards determinedly. "We'll find the best medical minds in the entire Federation and we'll go as far as we can go with this."

"That's the only obstacle in our path: there's not that far we can go with the matter." The Augment took a breath, the latest look in his eyes showing up at this moment being one of the softness which he reserved for her. The only woman in this century who'd shown him both clear benevolence and full understanding of his motives and pain back in 2259. "I've been told that this is the end of the line so as to speak, and that there's nothing else able to be done for me except for allowing me to die peacefully."

"You can't die. I mean after all that stuff you and me have been through, you just can't." She used her right hand to wipe this wetness from the tears away from her face, though she knew it was an exercise in futility as there was more coming, while still clutching the lily in her left. "I don't want you to die." After a pregnant pause, she uttered the simple truth of her emotional turmoil.

"I'm sorry Zinalya. I don't want to leave you either, but this appears to be the hand that I've been dealt nonetheless." He winced in the pain from the strength required while doing so, making her wish as she heard it that he'd just continued to stay still, but Khan turned to his right ever so slightly and reached out his left hand to hold hers comfortingly, this physical contact with him easing the sadness inside her mind to this same ever so slight degree. "You were a happy dream during those days when I needed you the most." It made him wish he'd had Zin in his life before the first 23rd century awakening, before his escape with his companions aboard the SS Botany Bay in 1996, as a saviour to make the process back then of him trying to forget some of the nightmarish days of his adolescence that little bit easier. These friends of his were people he could count on and who he trusted with his life, but Zinalya's presence seemed to unlock a new level of the ability to be himself and to say what was going on in his heart. "Those moments with you have been some of the best ones that I can remember." A tear from his own eyes suddenly showed up just beneath the right one.

Leaving the lily in her lap, she grasped on to his hand with the other one, so that she could now hold it with both. Knowing that, in turn, she too could entirely and completely be herself around him, she allowed herself to let loose with the amount of tears she shed. "I can't remember a time I didn't feel excited when I was around you. You're not just handsome and basically a sweetheart, you're also a man who brings exhilaration and adventure in your wake."

"I'm afraid flattery won't postpone my death date." He remarked in reply to this with another of his chuckles, putting more dry humour to use. He was, however, still touched by her words.

"No but at least I gave it a shot." She managed to raise a tiny smile herself. Two could play at this game.

While his tear traversed his cheek, his breathing became hitched. The heart rate monitor had also slowed somewhat now. "Do you think I'll see her?"

"Who, your mum?" The half Trill hybrid acted on the guess forming in her brain at who he meant by the word 'her'.

He nodded. "I think I might be about to see her again, and Tanvir, but the truth of that possibility lies in whether what people believe about the existence of hell and heaven is true, and even then it’s a question of which religion in particular was correct." He took a breath once he’d finished speaking - evidently long sentences were getting the better of him somewhat now that he was on death’s doorstep.

Zinalya shook her head, while still not being able to stop the full onslaught of the many tears she was releasing. "I don’t know." Her voice, understandably, was strained. "I don’t know what’s going to be waiting for you, but if heaven and hell do exist then whoever’s in charge up there had better send you to heaven, or at least some kind of medium place between the two."

"Or else you’ll confront them yourself?"

"If it’d mean you getting a chance at a good afterlife, yeah."

Over the next few seconds, he managed to conjure up another small smile. "Or perhaps the beliefs about reincarnation are true, and some time from now I could be reborn as a horse."

"Why a horse?"

"I think running through wide open fields with the wind soaring through my mane will be fun. But whichever kind of afterlife awaits me, I hope I get to see Tanvir and my mother again." He said poignantly. He was only a toddler when Sarina Kaur died, so not only would he be happy at the prospect of interacting with her once more after all these years, but based on the amount of affection she’d shown to him during those first happy years of his life, he had a feeling that she’d be just as joyous to see her little boy again, all grown up. And he'd be doubly happy if he also got the chance to be reunited with probably the greatest friend he'd ever had before said friend's death at the age of fifteen, the boy who had been the best at helping him, and some of the others, for that matter, with trying to get past the emotional turbulences caused by their captivity at the hands of the scientists who'd given them their abilities. "And it'll be nice if I meet Noonien there, as well." Noonien Prasad, although not related to Khan by blood due to the fact that the latter hadn't been conceived from a biological father of any kind, was Sarina's boyfriend until his own death from cancer while she was pregnant, so because of this closeness to her he would've most likely ended up becoming a fatherly figure.

"I hope so too, you deserve to find all three of them." Without fully realising it, the grip of both of her hands on the one of Khan’s she was still grasping tightened. "I’ve heard about this belief called karma, where people are rewarded in their next life depending on how much they suffered in the last one - basically what goes around comes around."

"The sum of a person’s actions." He gave another nod of his head, in recognition of this karma belief after having grown up in India during his childhood and, as a result, being taught about the Hindu faith from an early age. Throughout his life he’d never really followed any kind of religion himself, so he wasn’t sure whether or not he’d be allowed to get in on the action of heaven or reincarnation due to not being a believer. Whether what was coming for him was just a black void which he wouldn’t even consciously be aware of at all. Basically, when there are as many different religious beliefs and ways of faith floating around as there were here on Earth, including atheism, it tends to leave your mind in a bit of a jumble when you try to predict what will happen to you after your eventual demise.

Suddenly, his hitched breathing made a return, more so than it had been the last time.

"No, no, Khan, you can’t go." Said Zinalya, her own voice now becoming even more strained. Her grip on his hand became more soft and gentle again. "Whether you’ve got the power to stop this or not, you still can’t just go!"

As an attempt to comfort her again, his maximum moving speed was still rather slow but he released this hand from hers and used both of his to reach upwards towards her face, gently caressing his fingers against the sides of her cheeks. "To speak truthfully, I’ve spent a fair while in the past wondering how I was going to die, yet this way is possibly one of the ones I expected the least." His eyes conveyed a deep kind of fearfulness which she'd never seen from him until now, and which rocked him to his core. A pause set in for a moment or two. "I don't want to die either."

"Well you're not going to!" She exclaimed defiantly, especially upon noticing that his heart monitor had slowed down again by another couple of notches. Her face was a mess of clammy tears that poured out from the depths of her heart; she could feel both a small release in pressure and a tightening of it simultaneously, in the depths of this heart of hers, as she carried on releasing said tears. There was nothing she could do to stop them even in the slightest. "Remember that scheme I tried out back then, during the trial? How we were going to take each other's hand and run off to some new place once it was all over? We were going to be free to start anew there. There was going to be pretty much nothing we couldn't do together..." The last moments with each other were upon them, meaning Zin was now more desperate than she'd ever been so far to not let the life force of the man she adored sail away down the river. "We were going to have such good times to come..."

"Sssssssssshhhhhh..." Khan soothed, gradually retracting his hands and letting them fall down onto hers, curling his fingers around those of her own hands one final time. "There's nothing that can be done now." His pauses between sentences were growing longer. "This is the way it ends... not with a bang, but with a whimper..." He quoted from the poem The Hollow Men.

"I don't think I've ever hated poetry more than I do right now." Commented Zinalya, this latest attempt at humour to ease the pain of the matter failing to accomplish this desired effect.

"I can feel it..." He said. His voice was at its most quiet volume she'd heard over the last few minutes. "I can feel my heart getting slower, and slower, and slower..." He breathed out, with his face being moisturised by the presence of not just one but two of his own teardrops trickling from his eyes. This provided that extra yank on the young woman's heartstrings. "I love you so much, Zinalya..." Although it was at its smallest size yet, there came another return of his smile.

Hearing these words out loud left her with no other choice but to reply with another plain, simple truth. "I love you too Khan... I love you..."

She found her voice fading out as, over the next few excruciatingly painful seconds, she watched the gentle glint in his eyes as proof of his soft spot for her also fade away. He was grateful that he got to pass away not only with the subject of his endearment sitting with him but additionally while hearing such a calming sound coming from the rain outside the window.

With his eyelids closing a tiny bit more, the expression on his face drained out, and she felt his fingers around her hands go limp.

Then there was the unwavering sound of the monitor flatlining.

He was gone.

Now that there was no one left in the room to offer reassurance, her newfound lack of control over her crying reached an all-time high. Zinalya realised in her mind that this must have been similar to the sadness Sarina was feeling when Noonien died back in 1969, but what she additionally realised was that at the time - although, again, he wasn’t a blood relative to Khan - Sarina had a baby on the way and still had a continuation of her bloodline to love and look after.

Zin didn’t have any of that. The future prospect of accomplishing her life goal of having her own children someday or even just getting married had died with this “superman”. Not to mention the fact that she’d finally found a man who she felt could have been Mr. Right, which had been made even better by him having revealed these two years ago that he experienced the same emotions about her in return, and yet he’d been well and truly ripped away from her forever by nothing more than a malfunction of the cryotube within which he had spent these years until now being kept asleep.

Despite her hand currently trembling, she reached out her left hand and tenderly used her thumb and index finger to fully close his eyelids. There was a sort of peaceful and serene look about him; maybe one could pretend that he was just sleeping again with his eyes in this state of being completely shut.

With her not knowing whether or not she’d have any other emotion left in her once she was done, Zinalya’s head dropped as she began to sob.

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