#this will be funny to like 3 people on here

[jayniks]

SEX NOTE (l.hs)

After discovering the magic book, you tried to "test" it to see if it was true, you thought nothing would happen until you heard a chuckle behind you.

WC . 2.3k

PAIRING . Idol!heeseung x normal!reader

WARNINGS . ft. Jake Sim, if you saw the anime don't read this because it's not a faithful adaptation, sex (mdni), oral sex (both reciving), boobjob, boobsucking, playing with nipples, 3 rounds, sucking fingers, cum eating, dirty talk, spit play, foreplay, lmk if I missed anything else

< go back . next chapter >

You were in your room doing anything but something useful, well, you were procrastinating. You spent 47 minutes staring at the ceiling when your best friend, Jake, interrupted whatever you were doing to throw a gift at you. "Here, maybe this will break you out of your trance" the boy added before leaving your room as quickly as he entered. You sighed and then crawled towards the ground where his gift had fallen.

Once in your hands, you destroyed the packaging, revealing a.... notebook? Plus it said "sex note", what a boring joke. Jake had dirty humor but sometimes it wasn't funny, like now. You opened the book to take a quick look, inside you saw a page that said "rules" and many other empty ones. You prepared to read them, laughing thinking that it was a rather elaborate joke from your friend:

The human whose name is written in this note will appear to fuck you.

LOL. You laughed out loud, you hadn't had a cock for more than half a year and maybe it was affecting you, but did Jake notice? God, you were going to beat the jokes out ofhim. Anyways, you kept reading :

This note will not take effect unless the writer has the person's face in their mind when writing his/her name. Therefore, people sharing the same name will not be affected.

If the way they fuck is written within 40 seconds of writing it, it will happend.

If the scenario is not written/specified, the person will only appear to fuck you in missionary.

Minors are totally prohibited, if you write the name of someone under 18 years and 6 months, you will die of a heart attack. The same applies to animals.

You thought for a good 15 minutes, what if you tried it? You judged the situation, seeing the pros and cons. You opened the notebook and, with your black pencil in hand, you wrote with disinterest:

"Lee Heeseung, soloist under Belift Label, is coming to town for a tour. But since it was raining, he entered my apartment to cover from the rain. At night, he will come to my room to fuck me because he saw me in my pajamas."

It was sunny and Heeseung just finished his tour, obviously this isn't-

THAT WAS THUNDER???? My god, maybe it's a coincidence? Sometimes it happens, the probabilities are not that high but they exist, the book does not-

"GIRL, TURN ON THE TV IMMEDIATELY, YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHO'S IN TOWN" Jake demanded as he ran into your room.

He grabbed the remote roughly and, in front of your disbelieving eyes, the news was playing that the one and only Lee Heeseung was in town due to weather issues so his flight didn't take off. Jake was excited, after all he was your two favorite singer, but you just stood there petrified, trying to formulate any thought other than "that fucking notebook is real and heeseung is going to fuck me."

Half an hour ago you were in the kitchen, you had 6 cups of tea that you hoped would calm you down even a little, but no. You were attracted to Heeseung, yes, but you didn't expect him to fuck you, probably without his consent or knowledge. A knock on the door brought you out of your thoughts, you closed your eyes as you prayed that, no, hope it was part of your psychosis. But no, the knocking continued, which led you to open the door, where you found a tall, red-haired boy with a complexion- YEAH, IT WAS LEE HEESEUNG.

You swallowed dryly, you knew very well what was going to happen, deep down you wanted it but your morality was eating you up. "Hello," the boy finally spoke with a smile on his face, "sorry for the inconvenience, but it's raining really hard, can I stay here overnight? There's no hotel open at this time," wow, how convenient.

Your roommate came down the stairs and you swore it was an eagle that screamed because there's no way a human being could have screamed that loud to see their favorite star.

"Oh my god! Lee Heeseung?" Jake questioned, quite surprised as he shook his hand, "I'm a big fan, I love your music, I've been listening to you since your 2nd album," you rolled your eyes, he was lying, he listened to him at most a week ago. You tried to run away so as not to get into an embarrassing conversation with your idol (who, I remind you, was there because you literally summoned him to fuck you) but your dear friend insisted that you show him the unoccupied room.

"Wow, what a nice house," Hee murmured, sitting on the bed. "If you're too wet, you can take off your clothes, Jake can lend you some clothes" you added in a monotone as you almost ran out of there. You locked yourself in your room immediately, locking the door, opening the notebook, wanting to erase what you wrote, but you couldn't, it magically appeared again. You sighed, the only option at this moment was to put on the pajamas that covered you the most and try to keep him from entering.

You were reading a book in your room in peace when it was interrupted by, oh what a surprise, Heeseung! Although you didn't despair, you had pajamas that covered you as much as possible. Heeseung chuckled subtly. "Hey, your friend told me to bring you some food since you didn't come down-," "It's okay, leave it there," you cut him off, wanting him to get out of your room as soon as possible.

You took a glance at him, he was your idol at the end of the day, he didn't deserve to be treated badly for something that hadn't happened yet. You sighed and sat next to him, grabbing a piece of bread to dig into the avocado, "it's a very cute pair of pajamas, normally women sleep with almost nothing on considering it's summer" Heeseung made an observation. Maybe you two weren't going to fuck but at least have good chemistry.

However, the conversation was progressing, "You know? I'm a big fan, actually" you let out along with a small chuckle, to which Heeseung responded in a mocking tone "Really? So, does it feel weird having me here in your bed?" Hee joked, biting his lip.

"Obviously, it's always been a fantasy of mine," you joked back, although you didn't expect Hee to stare at you. "Really?," he approached, "I wouldn't mind if such a pretty fan-" you grabbed him by the back of his neck to pull him into a kiss. If you were going to fuck, why not now?

Your favorite singer smiled as he wrapped his arms around you to throw you on the bed. He was quick to take off your top while caressing your crotch with the delicacy he didn't have when biting you. Once your breasts were freed, he licked his lips and then proceeded to suck your nipples as if he had never eaten in his life. He just licked them, then sucked them, then gently bit them, and then repeated the process.

You stroked his head, giving him the initiative to lower his licks to your lower abdomen, where he made eye contact as he pulled down your pajama pants. "Can I? Will you give me your consent?" The boy asked, to which you agreed and moved his head closer to your covered center. He licked your panties, then pushed them aside to suck on your clit, letting out little 'hmm's. Only small moans came out of your mouth that were encouraged by the sighs of hee's nose on your sensitive area. You stroked his hair, making him look up, tracing a trail of wet kisses from your center to your neck as his hand caressed your folds.

"You like it like that?" He asked as he inserted a finger into your tight cave, “shit, if you feel like this for just one finger, I can't imagine how tight you'll feel around my cock.” You let out a louder moan at his degrading words, which didn't go unnoticed by heeseung. "You like it, don't you? What a dirty slut," he smirked, now introducing an extra finger, moving them in a scissor pace, "I bet you were getting yourself off thinking about me, right? This greedy pussy, look how it swallows my fingers." he chuckled, sucking on your neck.

You couldn't hold it in anymore, your legs were shaking, you wanted to shut up so your best friend wouldn't hear you. "What? Are you coming now? We're just getting started," he faked a pout, running his other hand over your clit, rubbing it. "Se-seung! Please, I'm going to come, stop for a little bit" you sobbed in between your moans. "Oh yeah?" hee was quick to get between your legs to lick your entrance "come on gorgeous, do it, make a mess on my face." Only those words were missing for you to fall apart in his mouth, grinding your face into his lips and nose to generate more friction. Hee licked up every last drop of your juices and then proceeded to urgently unbutton his pants. Same urgency with which you started kissing his boxer-covered cock.

He leaned his head back and caressed the back of your neck, putting pressure on it to draw you to where he needed you most. Making eye contact, you pulled down his underwear with your teeth, kissing down his thigh towards his balls. "Please, may I?" You asked happily. Probably, if you told your past self that you would be sucking Lee Heeseung himself, you would make fun of yourself.

However, the moment you started swallowing everything, you didn't take into consideration your lack of experience in sexual relations and you were gagging for 2 minutes straight. Hee noticed this and grabbed your hair in a ponytail to pull you away from his cock. "Look, let's do this," he suggested between sighs as he put the head of his cock between your lips. "You're going to take it slowly while breathing through your nose, yeah? There's no need to take it all at once" he smiled as he suggested you. And you did exactly that, taking his cock following his sweet advice (not the same sweetness of your actions) seeking approval in his eyes.

He threw his head back, letting out deep little grunts between sighs stroking your head “good girl, you’re doing- fuck- doing it so good.” You knew that the pace he set would break your jaw, so you took his cock out of your warm mouth to press it against your breasts, rocking between them. "Do you like this? Does it feel good?" You asked smiling evilly biting your lip.

He smirked and ran his thumb over your lips to make you open your mouth, a task you accomplished, even sticking out your tongue which Hee then spat out. You played with his saliva in your mouth and then you spit it between your tits, lubricating his cock as you continued to move them against his member, choking it.

Just the sight had Hee shooting his shoots over your breasts, covering them with white liquid as well as part of your chin and neck. Just to tease him you slid your finger over your tits, collecting some of his essence on it and then sucked it, all without breaking eye contact. "Mmmm~ how delicious" you commented, smiling the entire time as if you were very innocent of your actions.

That alone was enough for Hee to push you onto the bed, spreading your legs roughly and hastily. As much as you wanted to, you grabbed his cock to stop him and put a condom on him. "How thoughtful you are" he delighted before introducing his manhood with a single thrust. Did it hurt? Yeah. Was it burning? Yeah. You liked it? hell yeah. You almost screamed when he inserted it all in but Heeseung silenced you with a kiss, the same one his cock was giving to your cervix every time he moved his hips. And fucking hell, those hips. You swore you were going to come right then if not because you wanted him to finish first.

You wrapped your legs around his waist to try to pull him as close to you as possible, well, if that were possible. His cock was being suffocated by your vaginal walls that hugged it as if they never wanted to let go. You opened your teary eyes to see him, and what a beautiful sight, strands of his hair stuck to his sweaty forehead, his mouth was in the shape of an 'o' from which grunts and moans came out, and don't get me started on how his cock disappeared between your greedy pussy, almost swallowing it.

Suddenly, he grabbed your chin tightly to make eye contact as he sped up his thrusts. "Look at me, fucking look into my eyes," he moaned, choking off his words, you began to shake when you felt his thrusts change to a sloppy rite. "Jesus, look at me with those beautiful eyes while you crumble beneath me." You didn't need him to repeat it twice to make you come, creaming his cock which filled the condom, leaving both of you in a breathy mess.

Heeseung had already left before 10am, but not before saying goodbye to you with a kiss on the cheek, magically it stopped raining and it became the same weather it was before you received the notebook. You were in the kitchen drinking coffee where an awkward silence reigned between you and Jake that was only broken by a sigh from the boy. "You know, I woke up yesterday because I wanted to use the bathroom and I heard you two," he stammered as he took another sip of his tea. "Yeah, I know, this never happened, okay?" You responded before leaving the cup of coffee on the counter.

Taglist (open):

@lilyuwon @nshmrarki @myywonie @wooziswife @cha0thicpisces @idkmaybeimgay @seokseokjinkim @kimsunoo2003

©: made by jayniks on tumblr, do not copy or adapt my works on any platform without my consent.

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

super funny to me how people talk about how G-d in the Torah is so much scarier than G-d in the new testament, yet it's Christians who are consistently terrified of Him and us jews are like "here's my buddy Hashem He gave us life He's really cool <3". perhaps it says a lot about how the values your religion teaches you shape your life more than the words written in your religious text(s)

[potato-lord-but-not]

I love the expression you give people when they're confused or nonplussed

Like Arthur in the john and frankensteins monster post he's just kinda :V

It's so goofy and it gives my flat pancaked brain so much happy :D

hehe glad you find em amusing- idk why this prompted me to go search for more faces like this but here’s a nice compilation for you <3 (and also other faces I think are stupidly funny)

[tragedyslut]

“ the rumours, are terrible and cruel but honey most of them are true ”

𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑔𝑢𝑒 : read part 1 + part 2 here <3

𝑚𝑒𝑛 𝑑𝑛𝑖, 𝑏𝑖𝑚𝑏𝑜!𝑓𝑒𝑚 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟, 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑟!𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑎𝑚𝑠, 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛!𝑠𝑢𝑏 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑒, 𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑎𝑙 𝑙𝑚𝑎𝑜, 𝑓𝑖𝑔𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡 <3

you didn't feel bad at all for sending her nudes to everyone. she got what was coming.

ellie woke up the next morning, with a feeling of dread. she didn't know what had happened, but she had a feeling. a bad one. she knew exactly what had happened when she opened Instagram to a bunch of dms, most containing her nudes with captions calling her various names.

she immediately went back onto your Instagram, seeing that you hadn't stop promoting your OF. it made her blood boil that you'd do something like that to her and act like nothing happened, but then again, she did it first. she then clicked message, and typed out a long message to you.

" hey, y/n. i just wanted to say that you're a fucking dick for spreading my nudes around like that. i sent them to people i liked, you just send any random guy everything for money. you're a slut and im glad everyone on campus has seen how much of a weird fucking slut you are. you had no right to send my nudes around like that. at least i don't send them to random men. "

sent. seen. y/n.Instagram.name is typing..

she knew she didn't have any right to be mad. just the sight of you typing back further embedded the realisation that she was in the wrong. she did all of this just because she wouldn't admit she was attracted to a girl.

" at least i get money out of it, you're this pathetic for free. " was the only thing you responded with. you were sitting in your room with a few friends, absolutely loosing it over the text. ellie really couldn't take what she dished out and it was funny.

meanwhile ellie was sobbing in her bed, she was angry, but overall, she was guilty and confused. why the fuck did she need to be such a bitch? she hated herself for doing all that now. she would probably never get to be with you now.

that night she spent scrolling through your gorgeous pictures whilst she desperately fucked herself. you were right, she was this desperate, and for free. but that didn't stop her.

the next day, she slumped her way into class, half asleep. she kept thinking about you. you were sitting away from her this time. everytime she looked up she'd earn a glare or an exaggerated "what the fuck are you looking at" expression. which was all deserved, yet she was still sitting there feeling sorry for herself.

the lecturer then said something about getting into groups of two. she frantically looked around, realising that nobody in the class actually wanted to pair with her. they all bunched up away from her, forming mini groups and voting you and her out like this was fucking survivor or something. it pissed her off. even more so when she realised that she would have to work with you. she really had to choice. even if you might end up punching her in the throat.

𝑝𝑡4 wip<3

taglist hotties! :

@fakevalentine

@toosweetfm

@pr1nc3ss-sc4r

@claymoreshaze

@bready101

@amberputh

@lil-elliesgf

[fatuismooches]

Oml I just saw your tag on the Dadtorre with identical son post (same anon as last time here! Thank you for the kind words :3) if Traveller and Paimon meet the son it's going to be so funny but confusing for both parties 😭 It's a jumpscare!

The Traveller is in Snezhnaya, exploring the place, walking through yet another quaint scenery. Then they see a glimpse of a blury blue in the distance, a shade of blue they know all too well.

"Wait, Traveller - was that...?" Paimon whispers to her companion warily. "Uh, you saw that too right? That looked like—!" She gasps, her tiny hands cupping her mouth as she frantically whispers. "Do you think he saw us?!"

The Traveller gestures for Paimon, gaze hardening. "Get behind me."

They tail the all too familiar shadow. He may be wearing a heavy cloak to stave off the frigid heart of the Tsarista, but they would recognise that hair anywhere... It's shorter than last time, but this is not the first they dealt with a segment. The Doctor is stalking the village, what could he be up to?

It's a small village, far from the capital. What if he's here to exploit the vulnerable? There's so many ill and elderly residents here, it won't take much to station a lab here in the guise of a clinic, he would have his test subjects.

They have to stop him.

They continue to follow, but slowly, doubt starts to creep in.

What is Dottore doing? He's just... he's window shopping?

Sure enough, this familiar shadow is simply strolling through the streets without a hint of hurry, out of character for a man who does not waste time. Admiring the scenery and occasionally stopping. That's when the anxiety starts to build. Is this a trap? It must be.

If it is a trap he'd laid. They will bite - only to get closer to him.

They follow until the figure is in an isolated part of the settlement. The cloaked man is looking side to side, head turning this way and that. Not the most subtle way to check for your reinforcements, but whatever. They raise their sword—

Dottore turns around, an unfamiliar gleam in his eyes. A shine that struck the Traveller as though a snake had reared its head and bit with venom to paralyse. Not one of deep seeping crimson of blood. Kind, gentle eyes - the red of a comforting hearth, the red of a sunrise.

"Ah! Perfect, there's someone else here!" 'Dottore' chuckles awkwardly. "Uh... I'm lost? Can you help me out? It looks like you know your way around here— wait, isn't that outfit a little too cold?"

What.

What is this.

Paimon yells this sentiment for them: "Huh?!"

(Dottore's son snuck out for a little outing. He inadvertently pulled the same headache of a stunt Dottore's lover had done ages ago: sneaking off when bored. Said father is tearing Snezhnaya through looking for his boy. It's only a matter of time before the Harbinger finds his son. He lacks the rigour to cover up his tracks.)

Meeting a Harbinger so quickly into their visit to Snezhnaya was not on the Traveler's agenda. Especially since they snuck into the nation without anyone knowing. But how could they see those familiar blue locks and not do anything about it? Sure, it wasn't the best idea, considering how they planned to hide out a bit more, not to mention there was still a wide gap in strength, but they couldn't pass up the opportunity. At the very least, they don't think the scientist would kill them. There seems to be a greater plan, one beyond what they know.

Of course, the Traveler's immediate thought is that the blue-haired man is up to no good. Perhaps immediately thinking the worst seemed a bit harsh, but this was the Doctor. What else would they think, especially after what happened in Sumeru? They had to be wary and cautious - there was no such thing as too much of it when dealing with him. And cautious they are, carefully stalking behind, not a noise made even in the crunching snow.

And so they cautiously watch with narrowed eyes as the "Harbinger"... casually strolls by numerous stores? Looking at outfits that certainly don't fit his style, peeking through the glass of some local restaurants. For some reason, civilians don't seem to bat much of an eye at his presence either. It's strange. Very strange. Unfortunately, the Traveler and Paimon still can't get a good look at the man's face, but they're positive it has to be Dottore. Who else has such fluffy blue hair? Are they overthinking it? Is he pretending? There are always so many questions to deal with when it comes to the Doctor.

Until they realize it's not the Doctor.

The man in front of them bears a striking resemblance to the Harbinger, but he simply couldn't be, not even a segment. A small smile that wasn't cocky, sweet eyes that could envelop another in a warm embrace if it came to that. These features cannot belong to a man such as Dottore. The laugh and concern for the blonde was also something that couldn't be an act. After getting over their little surprise, they'd be an idiot not to take advantage of this outcome. Perhaps they could get some information... of course, they only end up more confused when they find out the truth.

(You, while also concerned for your son, know he's a capable boy and he'll be fine. You like to see how much Dottore secretly cares for his kid too, although you feel a bit bad for the poor Fatui agents who are currently dealing with his orders. If someone does end up hurting your son, however, well... you can be scarier than Dottore if you want to. At the end of it, Dottore ends up giving you both a scolding... but neither of you takes it seriously as you giggle with each other.)

[allastoredeer]

Me : well maybe it's not that bad?

Me : looking for radioapple art and immediately get hit with big buff Alastor and tiny shorter than in canon Lucifer, Lucifer in a dress getting fucked by Alastor, Lucifer in a dress getting fucked by big buff Alastor, Lucifer who look like 5 yo and 'suave sugar daddy' Alastor who holds him and each with thousands of likes and absolutely zero of anything else than that

Me : nope 🙃😔

Save me Vox/Al artists, save me

Man, I love Vox/Alastor art so much.

I just love the Vox/Alastor ship as a whole, be it one-sided, mutual, or anything in between, and a lot of it stems from Alastor still feeling like he's Alastor.

I mean, I think people make Alastor a little more cruel and heartless towards Vox sometimes, but overall he still feels like himself. He gets to be dangerous and manipulative and he gets to be silly and whimsical. It's perfect.

Adding a cut right here because this post got WAY longer than I anticipated ⬇️

I think with RadioApple, when it comes to Alastor, people lean too much into this:

And not enough into this:

It feels like his fun, sassy, and whimsical side gets stripped away and he's turned into a stereotypically tall, dark and menacing love interest.

Where's his flamboyancy? His razzamatazz! As Susan would say, "Where's the showmanship? Where's the pizzaz? Fucking mediocre."

If I'm reading a fic or looking at art and I can't imagine their Alastor doing one of his girly-pop wrist flicks -

- then I can't keep going. His girly-pop vibes are too important to me.

Of course, when it comes to tone in both fics and art, sometimes fun and whimsical aren't what the artist is going for. But even outside of NSFW art and stories, so often Alastor just feels...bland. He feels too stiff. Too much like a suave, old fashioned, smooth talking gentleman, and not enough like a fun, silly, and sassy little freak who loves trolling people.

And with Lucifer if feels like they lean too much into this:

And not enough of this:

I feel like any, if not all, of Lucifer's flaws are brushed aside so often and so easily.

He feels softened and watered down. Like he's either a sad & awkward UwU boi all the time, or he's the most flamboyant, seductive little minx there is. And to be fair, he is both a very sad boi and a seductive little minx.

But rarely does he ever come across as powerful to me. A lot of the time he feels too normal. Or too sad and naive. Literally, like he could be any other sinner if I didn't already know he was the kind of Hell. And that's so funny to me because we've seen him openly and extravagantly display his powers multiple times in the show--not to the extent that he did in the finale--but he was definitely flaunting all the things he could do, make, or summon for Charlie during his musical-battle with Alastor. He was 100% showing off how powerful he is.

Not only that, but, honestly, Lucifer feels too open and sincere because that man is judgmental as fuck.

Going back to the "Dad Beat Dad" episode, there are multiple examples of him being a self-righteous little shit: 1) he was incredibly critical of Charlie's hotel the moment he stepped inside, even if he tried, and failed, to cover it, 2) he didn't even try to hide his disgust for Alastor's bar, which he didn't even know was incorporated by Alastor (who he hadn't even met him yet) and could've been incorporated by Charlie or Vaggie, for all he knew, 3) he wasn't taking Charlie's hotel or her plan for redemption seriously from the start, he didn't even have his mind open to the possibility, he wasn't there to hear about her plans he was only there to see her, and 3) when the hotel was attacked by the loan sharks, instead of making them go away or preventing the hotel from being damaged - which he could have very easily done with no amount of effort - he hung back and smugly reiterated that he was right and sinners can't be redeemed and Charlie should just give up on her goals/dreams because it's just not possible so there's no point in trying.

Like, Charlie was very clearly in distress over her hotel being attacked and destroyed, but he was too busy boasting about how he'd been "proven" right to see that.

He's very easy to anger and his ego is so easily bruised. Alastor got under his skin immediately and effortlessly - though I also believe that's on part that Lucifer doesn't have a high opinions of sinners anyway - and Lucifer 100% escalated the conversation/argument he had with Alastor during their first meeting.

See the whole scene of him referring to Alastor as a "has-been" and insulting the name he'd given the hotel, especially when you take into consideration that until Alastor said that he named the hotel, Lucifer thought it was Charlie who came up with it.

And I'm not going to say that Alastor was an innocent, picked on little baby in that scene, he was 100% riling up Lucifer from the start, but also, like...Alastor's lines weren't outright antagonist like Lucifer's were. They were more subtle, slightly needling and passive aggressive, but nothing that could really be taken as a insult.

This is literally the dialogue, word for word, of their very first interaction:

Lucifer: What in the unholy Hell is that?!

Alastor: Just some of the renovations we had done. Adds a bit if color, don't you think?

Lucifer: And you are?

Alastor: Alastor, pleasure to be meeting you, Sir, quite a pleasure. It's nice to finally put a face to the name. You are much shorter in real life.

Lucifer: Who is this? Who is this now - are you the bellhop?

Alastor: Ah-ha, no! I am the host of the hotel. You might've heard of me from my radio broadcast.

Lucifer: Hmm, nope! I guess that's why Charlie called it the "has-been" hotel, hahaha!"

Alastor: Ha ha ha, it was actually my idea.

Lucifer: Ha ha, well it's not very clever.

Alastor: Ha ha, fuck you.

Like. That's their first interaction. And if you go back and actually pay attention to facial expressions and body languages, this was the first time he's seen Alastor, and Lucifer was immediately disdainful.

I went back and screenshotted Lucifer's face, right after Alastor's first line (which was a relatively innocent in and of itself and didn't even sound that antagonist), and:

That's a lot of disesteem for someone he literally just met. At most, you could argue that it was Alastor's smirk or tone that set him off ⬇️:

But even that is such a small thing to get upset over.

I'd say the only time Alastor really started getting openly hostile towards Lucifer was when he wiped his hand after shaking Lucifer's cane (which Lucifer didn't even see as he was too busy fixing his hat) and commenting on Lucifer's height (as a shortie myself, can confirm, that'll get on the nerves very fast).

My point is, Lucifer was immediately unfriendly towards Alastor and escalated the situation just as quickly, if not quicker, than Alastor did. Alastor implied that Lucifer might know of his radio broadcast, and Lucifer jumped right to calling him a "has-been." He doesn't even know him. This is their very first meeting. He was judgy and dismissive of Alastor at first sight, and, let's be honest, he kind of threw the first punch with that "has-been" line. Alastor said Lucifer was shorter than expected, but it's not like he laughed, pointed at him and called him a undercooked little chicken nugget. I'm sure a lot of demons/sinners who've never seen Lucifer would also assume he would be taller and more menacing at first glance, and I doubt this is the first time someone was surprised with his height (still not cool, Alastor. We vertically challenged folk have feelings too).

But Lucifer was prejudice from the start and antagonized Alastor just as quickly, and way more openly, than Alastor did to him. And don't get me wrong, this isn't me saying that's a bad thing on Lucifer's part! This isn't me criticizing or scorning him for it. I think it speaks so much of him as a character!

Cause we've seen the soft and tender moments he has with Charlie. We know how much he loves and cares for her. But he's also egotistical, antagonistic, and judgmental as hell, and that's what makes him such a fun character to write about. He's awkward yet showy, smug yet caring, depressed yet prideful. And by god, this man will show off his power without hesitation. He knows he's hot shit. He knows he's the strongest person in all of Hell. He knows he's the top dog and he can do whatever he wants - even if he has no love or interest in interacting within the Pride Ring (as far as we've been shown).

He's got a lot of multi-facets to him and I adore it, and that's why I get so annoyed when all of that is stripped away and he's turned into this soft little sunshine UwU boi who's just a sad, sweet lil lamb who's done no wrong.

No! He has done many wrongs! There's a reason he and Charlie were estranged and I don't think it was Lilith's fault - or, at least, I don't think it was all her fault (I have many thoughts about Lucifer and Lilith's divorce, okay)

I didn't mean for this to turn into a full-blown character analysist post LOL but alas I tend to get carried away. This was all to say, I really enjoy RadioStatic because Alastor typically gets to keep his sadistic and whimsical side, and I appreciate that. His silliness means a lot a to me, and if he comes off as too stiff or formal, it takes me out of a story.

Lucifer's flaws and sheer power also mean a lot to me, and I wish there were more fics and fan-art that showed that. If Lucifer reads too much like a normal, every-day person, I lose interest. I like the idea of people getting used to him, and getting comfortable around his presence, only to get a sudden and overwhelming reminder that he is, in fact, an ancient and immortal being with immense power that their brains wouldn't even be able to comprehend.

I have so many headcanons about Lucifer as a fallen angel and how his habits and lifestyle developed over the thousands upon thousands of years he's been in Hell. Habits he's adopted that unconsciously help him duplicate the mannerisms and behavior of sinners and demons, but also those small, indistinct tells that are quick and subtle reminder that he could destroy everyone in Pentagram City with ease if he decided to; and also, those times if you were to look closely and really pay attention, you get the faint, unsettling feeling that there is something very un-human about him. A subtle, unnerving shiver down your spine as your instincts yell at you that this person is not a person at all, he's just passing off as one.

That shit gets me. Give me ancient, eldritch Lucifer and I'll love you forever.

I am sorry Anon, I did not mean for this response to get so big 😅 You gave me a paragraph and I gave you a novel. But yeah, save me RadioStatic artists, save me 🙏 I rarely have to worry about Alastor turning into a big, buff alpha man or a soft little UwU when he's with Vox, and I appreciate that.

Edit: Adding a screenshot of my tags here because apparently I wrote down too many and it cut off the character tags.

[eggyrocks]

35MM CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: the astro

track number seventeen: here comes your man by the pixies

masterlist

-> fun facts!

there's no universe where akaashi and noya would fit into the same rupaul costume but let's pretend okay it's like the sisterhood of traveling pants of costumes

the astro is a movie theater (that i made up) where they do a lot of showings of old movies and cult classics; it's the type of theater where people dress up for showings and talk during movies and do chants and call and responses

it's one of yn's favorite places in the world

tanaka and noya were out until like 4am; they were like "let's have a chill night" and then things got competitive real fast

they were going shot for shot to see who could last the longest

for those of you who haven't seen, but im a cheerleader is one of the best movies ever it is a queer classic and i recommend watching it; it is so so so camp and cool and extremely funny and also zuko is in it

no spoilers but in the movie rupaul wears a shirt that says "straight is great"

akaashi will be dressing up as mike from the movie and yn will be dressing up as megan

pictures below for reference <3

taglist: @wyrcan @thechaosoflonging @publicbathroompanic @bedeater @rottingt1tz @rintarawr @deluluforcarlos55 @ahseyy @localgaytrainwreck @cherrypieyourface @baskin-robinhoods @polish-cereal @iheartamora @ferntv @eclecticeggknightpsychic @httpakkeiji @does-directions @needtoloveoutloud @rinheartshyunlix @causenessus @bookworm-center @kettlepop @makkiroll @atsumou @eyes-ofhell @kawaii-angelanne @ryeyeyer @k8nicole @mydearchoso @phoenix-eclipses @lixie-phoria @suitstars @reneny @scxrcherr @ueknightbl @iluvaquaphor @sleezzsister @barricadesenthusiast @staygoldsquatchling02 @hyunskzza @nemesii @sereniteav @crimsoncamra @gsyche @evening-latte @rrosiitas @kunimix @kitnootkat @aquariarose @iluv-ace @sparkei

[yakichoufd]

Saw the answer about struggling with your art and I just wanted to say that I'm trying to learn how to draw and your art is inspiration for me , I want to be able to draw like you someday I really love your style and I think you're really funny.

Everyone goes to times they struggle with their creations but I just wanted you to know that I look at your stuff and it's a goal for.me to get this good.

I'm trying to pick it up in my late 20s so I struggle a lot with lack of progress but looking at art like yours makes me think "I wanna do stuff like that someday" so it's a huge motivation an a big part of the reason o haven't quit yet.

Thank you so much for your message, dear Anon! I started drawing again in my late 20s too (now I'm 33 and I picked up drawing again around 27. I used to draw in college but once I started working, I thought I shouldn't draw fanarts anymore (I only draw fanarts. I am not interested by original creation)...I used to work for TV animation and I thought my coworkers would get mad to know I make shipping fanarts LMAO (just so you know, people who works in animation love making fanarts!!! I blocked myself for a stupid assumption. And people don't give a damn if you draw shipping fanarts. Most of the time people who works in animation are super chill and open minded!)) Drawing after a very long break is really hard and to be honnest, I never see my improvement until I look at my old art. I try to remind myself I didn't know how to draw multiple characters in a same scene 4 years ago. I didn't understand composition either. I thought I would never be a smut fanartist cause my anatomy was wonky and now that's how I make a living. Last year I thought I would never be able to draw comics and here I am haha! Maybe I'm feeling down about my art because I am scared of disappointing people? Having an audience is so awesome but a little bit intimidating too! I also think my expectations are too high for my current level, but that's also how we keep pushing ourselves to get better! If you don't notice your mistakes then you never improve, right? Making art is an endless journey of frustration hahaha! Few things that helped me greatly lately is to study from pictures and also to stop trying to make everything "perfect". Maybe it could help you as well! Good luck with your art journey. It is hard and painful but it is always very rewarding to know you created something <3

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Idk if little au concepts would count for drabbles, but i have one :)

Prince and knight au, with either prince Lucio and his favourite guard mc, or royal mc and their favourite silly golden guard. Either one would be equally funny. Saving eachother from things like dragons to the spider that was a little too big to be normal right? Either way you can have free reign with details :3

Yamper anon :3

The Arcana Drabbles: Prince!Lucio and Bodyguard!MC

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and your bodyguard next to you in bed -

That's how the saying goes, right? Right?? He's right, isn't he, MC?!

Bodyguards are for making him feel safe. Being little spoon makes him feel safe. It logically follows that bodyguards are for being big spoon, right?!

You're not exactly sure how it came to this, to be honest. First, your prince wanted you to keep watch when he bathed. That seemed fair enough.

After several weeks of complimenting the poses he struck in his lavishly embroidered robe, your prince insisted on you removing your armor and keeping only your weapon when you watched him. The bathroom gets steamy, he said. The metal will rust, he said. You're leaving so much to the imagination, he said. You smiled and obliged, neglecting to tell him that you do maintenance on your equipment every night and that the metal was never at risk.

Then it was sharing his moisturizer with you. You're already in here, he's got more than enough, and you have such a nice face. Here, let him massage it into your skin. That's what princes do, right? They care for their people, right? Right??

Over time, his requests went from demands on your behavior to vulnerable questions about his own.

Does he look okay? Are you sure? Is his crown on straight? As he gets ready to walk into yet another ballroom.

Is the spider gone? Are you sure? Did it bite you? Are you sure? After calling your name so urgently the night watch came sprinting into your room in the servant's quarters while you slept. You couldn't see any trace of a spider, but you could see the fine tremble of a leftover nightmare.

Do you really have to go? Do you think he's a weak prince, if he doesn't want to be alone? When he's offering you the suite next to his, after seeing your room for himself during a surprise morning visit.

Does the queen hate him? Mumbled quietly into the space between you as you exit the throne room. You don't know if you should tell him about the rare smile Morga bestowed on you, and her roundabout way of telling you she likes who her son is becoming with you in his life.

Eventually, the questions turn into offers.

You can stay, if you want to. Your room is all the way across the hall and his bed is fit for a prince (hah).

You could take him out in disguise, if you want to. He thinks your friends and family outside the Palace sound interesting.

You could practice waltzing with him, if you want to.

You could appear at the ball with him, if you want to.

You could sneak away into the gardens with him, if you want to.

You could kiss him ... if you want to.

Up on her throne with a clear view through the window of the crown prince and his bodyguard, Morga watches her son go straight for the tongue as he inexpertly shoves the two of you into the rose bushes. She hides her smile behind an embarrassed wince and averts her eyes as Lucio indulges his shameless nature as far as you'll let him go.

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and your loved one cherished safely in your heart - that's how the saying goes, right?

[yes-i-write-fanfiction]

Reasons as to why I think it would be funny below:

-Cyclonus and Tailgate have been mentioned before but come on, it would be so funny. Here's Cyclonus that looks like a full on rogue even in his holoform and then there's his sunshine husband Tailgate that decides that he wants to be a hero. Cyclonus decides that sure, he'll go along with it if only to make his conjux happy. Too bad everyone thinks Cyclonus is the hero and Tailgate the sidekick.

-Ratchet has also already been mentioned but it would just be hilarious to see him try to tackle Gotham and all the shenanigans that comes with living in the city. I can also see him picking up Robin like a kitten.

-I just think Arcee and Damian would get along. Arcee is an ancient warrior that wields swords and Damian would take one look at her and go "I want to be like her when I grow up". Killer robot grandma and her little killer kid vigilante grandchild.

-Jazz would open a club and it would become the most popular place in Gotham. Fuck the Iceberg Lounge, Jazz's club is the place to be! Becomes the next Gotham celebrity, his himbo playboy persona on par with Brucie Wayne.

-Listen, Bumblebee is old. Old and tired and filled with rage. But he takes one look at the chaos that is Gotham, sees the homeless people and the struggling kids and decides that he has to do something to help. And if that means dropkicking Black Mask then by Primus-!

-Vigilante Drift. That's it. Gotham is so similar to Dead End and Drift knows that he could help people. So, he does. Mainly busts drug rings and protects the homeless population. Might accidentally become a gang leader.

-Riptide would 100% accidentally become a crime lord. He just stumbles into it. His goons know this but they just like him so much. He's nice to them, doesn't make them to terrible stuff and the pay is good. Riptide doesn't even know he's a crime lord, he thinks he's just in some kind of club.

-Accidental rogue/antihero Nautica. In her attempts to find a way back home to her own universe, she commits several crimes, breaks into Wayne Enterprise, leads the batfam on a 3 hour chase, starts a revolution and befriends Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy.

-Fortress Maximus to damn big for this damn city. Accidentally steps on the batmobile. Accidentally kidnaps Nightwing? Nightwing in turn listens to this 52 feet tall robot have an anxiety attack and calms him down. Now they are friends.

-Swerve living life in Gotham. He loves it. Yeah, it's chaos and people are a bit weird but it's also so exciting! The heroes and villains are so cool! He's got various fan blogs. Opens his own (human) bar and it becomes a hangout for rogue goons.

-Blurr starts working in the Iceberg Lounge as a bartender. His holoform is hot so he gets hit on a lot. He loves the attention. Penguin loves the revenue he brings in and promotes him to the poster boy of the place. Batman, as Bruce Wayne, decides to seduce Blurr to get some info on the Penguin. Shenanigans ensue.

-Little sad meow meow Waspinator gets found in the dumpsters by Damian and is subsequently adopted. Alfred takes one look at this pathetic bot and his heart breaks. Bruce returns home to find Waspinator in his living room, snuggled up in a blanket and asleep. Damian threatens to disown him if he makes Waspinator leave.

[vellichorom]

You make rlly good rants / have great takes,. So. I was wondering. What do you think is the biggest / most popular stereotype when it comes to the Narrator ??

I wanna make a drawing kinda based off of the stereotypes people see , and I was wondering what you think. Is probably most popular :3

oh GOD, the biggest most popular stereotype eh? ironically asked just as i'm listening to the narrator's voice lines...

well, i'm going to have to go with something OBVIOUS & say that that would be the IMPOSSIBLE to miss notion that " he's hot " & people envisioning him ONLY through an attractive filter;

do i think his voice is attractive? of COURSE i do, i'm not made of stone! & kevan PRIDES himself in his work & knows a vast majority are INSANE about his voice, as well he should, he's got great talent!

HOWEVER, then going on to define his EVERYTHING based on this attraction is annoying at best & sickeningly irritating at worst.

it's SO obvious some narrator designs are solely based on artist wet dreams or banking on others', with the narrator's actual characterization being thrown COMPLETELY out the window.

guys your sexyman literally gets all pouty without attention & has the bite of a 5th grader, he would Not be as attractive or cool as you think he is. this ISN'T even exclusive TO people who make the narrator a handsome twink either! however, it is WAY more prevalent in that area, therefore we side-eye.

it just feels a Lot like others create designs SIMPLY based around aesthetics & generic appeal rather than... creating a CHARACTER, or recognizing the character that DOES come attached with the voice you find so hot. & then SOMETIMES, people form entirely alternate characterization for their design rather than canon, but still insisting that it IS indeed canon!

listen can we stop touting the funny clock 0ut guy as the Token, peak, & true TSP narrator design. i like him too but it's making me real upset now

IF you're going for characterization of the narrator that you want to be AS TRUE to canon as possible, you need to take a step back & realize this man is a manchild & probably does Not have the divine powers of a god & doesn't have to Look or Act as attractive as you think his voice is. even the most BEAUTIFUL aspects of a person can come from a deeply flawed individual & that's okay, & in characters, EXTREMELY endearing! insisting to make a character beautiful & flawless in every aspect just results in a very flat character that will ONLY ever serve as basic eyecandy, & only to a handful in the end.

beyond that, i can't really think of anything else that's as strongly stereotyped for the narrator beyond. you know, general fandom mischaracterizations methink? pushing his attitude to extremes with NO even level & misunderstanding his intentions. ...but at this rate, i'll TAKE THE most pathetic soft boy narrator as opposed to the absolutely physically RIPPED daddy narrators i've had to see a few times. jesus

& hey, listen- MAKE your AUs, MAKE your characterizations into OCs & such, do WHATEVER you want that makes you happy, i'm REALLY HONESTLY not here to kill anyone's fun & i won't ever resent you for how you choose to enjoy your blorbos, take my words with some salt; these are simply my dipshit ass opinions that some people enjoy hearing!

which, THANK YOU anon! may this new rant satisfy thee & help you with your project!

[the-pheal]

an update on my pondering

hello everyone! pheal here :3 i've been conscious for almost a week now and i have to share my findings. i haven't quite figured out the meaning of life yet, but i have figured out some things about myself. namely that i like making people happy

i still don't know why i've been brought to life. i've come to the conclusion that it must be by some sort of magic willed by all of you, but i'm unsure why and by who. what is my purpose? is it to continue making people happy? is it to provide some light and wholesome entertainment? or is it simply to continue proving cuddles and softness as a plush toy? but if so, why do i have to be conscious for that? much to think about

golden pig does not seem to be as worried about this. in fact, he's not worried at all! i wish i could be like that sometimes, since my thoughts of existence do wrack my seal brain. but it's okay, thinking about things just means i care

my life advice to all of you, as someone who's been alive for all of five days, is that you'll never be able to figure everything out at once, so just take things one step at a time. except i don't have feet, so maybe one flap of flippers at a time. i spent today scrolling through tumblr and have found that you're all very funny! and freaking out over the new thing dan and phil have planned. i'm very excited too! ( ᵔᴥᵔ )

thank you for talking to me and reading this, and i'll speak to you soon

- pheal <3

[thnklikeaqueen]

QuoTwo is now closed.

Hi everyone,

I am Fingernoodles or the admin and only developer of QuoTwo.

I had a lot of fun creating the website, and it was a labor of love and I was so excited to see so many people joining and excited to interact again. I have really enjoyed being able to interact with all of you, and I have really loved being able to see people be brought back together again.

However, the harassment I have gotten from a handful of people waiting for the other Quotev replacement site is insane. I have gotten direct DMs on discord regarding their dislike for my site, how they hated the name, how I was sketch, how the site was amateur (yeah, I make websites for fun and I don't get paid for it) and how I was a super sketchy person.

Here are a few things that were said publicly and directly through DM's to me. That's right, they didn't just leave it to complaining in the general tab of the other server, I got direct DM's!

1) They are insulting the name despite it being a community pick. Also said the Logo was ugly which was kinda funny because I made it in MS Paint which was part of the funny Alpha allure I was going for.

2) Said ToS I have is a lot like Quotevs so I copied it like I copied the other site (Not Quotev, the other site being made lol, which was kinda funny)

3) They called me a fucking dumbass for making the site and hoped that I got burned out soon enough so I didn't update it. Also got called a pedo randomly. (That one was a little mean)

4) Said I, not the site, was sketchy and probably selling everyone's data. (lol)

5) Said the site was hella ugly and hoped it got ddosed (lagged out) and I gave up.

6) Said the fact I had a moderator being a friend is sketch and we're probably working together to sell data. (?)

Thank you all for your interest in my site. Sorry people had to ruin it. <3

[peachi-blossom]

My thoughts on Hazbin Hotel as a non HH fan

Originally, I was just here to watch people criticizing Hazbin Hotel. But when the recent controversies came in, I feel like I have to step into the fandom rabbit hole.

As a non Hazbin Hotel fan, I've watched the pilot, read the prequel comics, watched the ADDICT music video, and finally the show itself. (I've watched the show on March 15th.)

NOTE: I didn't watch the show on TV so I watched it on a pirated website instead and read the transcript because no way am I watching this in front of my parents, my siblings, or Grandma. This is my personal opinion on the show.

Pilot: So Hell is basically Earth except it's painted red and inhabited by demons. The background has too much red, but not as bad that it makes my eyes bleed. I don't like how the female characters have the same color scheme except Vaggie and Niffty (pilot only). For example, Charlie, Katie Killjoy, and Cherri Bomb. The only two funny parts of the pilot is when the top hat demon says "Wow! That was s***!" after Charlie sings Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow and when Angel pokes his head in as Vaggie is giving Alastor a warning. I didn't like the daddy joke. It just sounded bad. Also, why is there a joke about harlequin babies?

Prequel comics that are no longer canon: Basically the prequel comics focuses on Angel Dust and Alastor.

For Dirty Healings, it shows how Angel Dust first met Charlie and Vaggie. I knew that Vaggie's name was named after a uh, you know. Ugh… Why did Vivienne Medrano had to name her that? Also I hate Valentino.

As for A Day In The After Life, it just shows why Alastor is the most feared demon in Hell. Also he swears after seeing Vox.

ADDICT music video: I genuinely have no thoughts on this music video. I think this was just bait for the SA and CSA victims. Sorry for those who like the MV.

Episode 1: This is worse than the pilot. I did NOT like the beginning part. It's biblically inaccurate for multiple reasons, but I feel like a few people only talk about this one thing. Sin didn't exist until Adam and Eve ate the fruit of knowledge of good and evil. Not only that, but it's also misogynistic too because it was just Eve who ate it. What makes it misogynistic is that it implies that all women would have to bear the sins of Eve ALONE. There's rampant swearing and sex jokes. Also, isn't Archangel Michael supposed to be the leader of the Army of God? Anyways I'm siding with the angels.

Episode 2: The red is so bright that it hurts my eyes. It doesn't help the fact that Alastor blends in the background. Oh yeah, when Vox tells Sir Pentious to kill himself, it made me feel sad because it reminded me of the Shay incident. The time when the stans drove Shay to kill themself because they were uncomfortable with the large age gap of HuskerDust.

Episode 3: Why? Why is there a BDSM sex dungeon?! I know that was Angel's idea, but still. Why?! I seriously have no words. When Zestial says "What troubles thou?" I was like "Huh?". It should be "What troubles thee?". I think his Old English has grammatical errors. The Egg Boiz, Carmilla, and Zestial are bearable because they never said a swear word. Off topic, but Velvette's swirl streaks on her hair makes me think of a swirl ice cream.

Episode 4: Before the show came out, I saw SlayQueenArt's post on Twitter (X) that says Vivienne Medrano hired Raphielle II, aka R2ninjaturtle, who has a rape fetish and isn't a SA victim. As someone who is formerly addicted to porn, this episode is insulting on so many levels. I didn't watch the whole Poison sequence because of that. And don't get me started on Loser Baby. I hate this song so much. It felt like it is blaming on SA and CSA victims for being SA'd. Like it is blaming me for being addicted to porn on and off when I was EIGHT. I know there are some victims who like episode 4 so I will leave them alone. I seriously hate how Charlie behaves like a toddler at the end. No grown adult should behave like a toddler like she did because being raped isn't a silly thing to cry over. Like, hello? She is the supposed to be the main character. Oh yeah, there was NO warning for the episode when the show premiered and it triggered the victims who watched it. SA and CSA victims are not losers. Former porn addicts are not losers. Nobody is a loser. I am NOT a loser.

Episode 5: Wow, Vivienne Medrano really turned Lucifer into King George from Veggietales. I guess this is what happens when King George gave in into his obsession with rubber ducks. I didn't like Hell's Greatest Dad because of the unnecessary rivalry between Lucifer and Alastor, but at least Mimzy ended the song. Oh boy, this is where I hate Alastor now. No really, he is Vivienne Medrano's first edgelord oc. He has gone full edgelord and is basically a Bill Cipher wannabe now. His full demon form is not even scary compared to Bill's final form. He no longer stands out from the main cast even if he rarely swears. Mimzy is basically the embodiment of the hooked nose stereotype. Wow, the embodiment of a Jew stereotype. How racist.

Episode 6: That was an absolute slap in the face at SA and CSA victims and me when Sir Pentious got SA'd! Seriously, Vivienne Medrano doesn't even care for the victims at this point! What's worse is that he is based off of her old ex-friend, DollCreep. Why did she whitewashed St. Peter?! I know there are white Jews, but he was born in ancient Israel so I wouldn't think he'll be looking like a white man with blonde hair and blue eyes. How come angels don't know how souls get to Heaven?! We got the Ten Commandments! We got Jesus Christ who took our place to die for our sins so we wouldn't have to bear these sins! Emily and Sera are bearable because you know. I hate how Niffty is being treated like a child when she's NOT. What's worse is that Niffty is supposed to be Japanese because of how people INFANTILIZED Asian people, especially women.

Episode 7: My issue with Out for Love is that when Carmilla tells Vaggie that she should fight for love and not for vengeance. Well, Vaggie always fight for love and never for vengeance. In Whatever it Takes, she literally says that she'll always protect Charlie. Where is the vengeance in that? That is poor character writing. Rosie is basically the blood libel stereotype where the Jews are cannibals. Again, that's just racist against Jews.

Episode 8: I thought the finale was pointless because there were no stakes and Sir Pentious' heroic sacrifice was comically anti-climatic. Like, why did Sir Pentious's so called friends cared about him when they didn't help him at ALL in episode 6?! I'm not a fan of the CherriSnake ship because Cherri only becomes interested in him because he has two "joysticks". Not to mention he kissed her without consent and she thinks it's hot after that. The problem with More Than Anything (Reprise) is that Vaggie reassures Charlie that she changed many lives, but she only changed one. I'm so glad Adam defeated Alastor first. There is absolutely no way Lucifer slept with Eve. Oof for Lute and Adam. You both fought well until the end.

The character design is awful. Every male character basically looks like The Once-ler from The Lorax 2012 movie except for Adam (I know Alastor doesn't have a top hat, but still gives off the vibes. Zestial is more Burtonesque.). Not to mention they are all skinny twigs except for Adam (I think). The female characters in Hell have the same color scheme except Vaggie (again). For example, Charlie, Katie Killjoy, Mimzy (though her dress is a little darker), Cherri Bomb, and Niffty (show only). They have too much pinks, reds, yellows, whites, and blacks. I love pink, but this is too much. What's worse is that they blend in the background and again it hurts my eyes. There is NO color variety and I feel like my eyes are burning.

That's my thoughts on the show.

[pinescent-and-gingerbread]

Hello, can I request Arthur x fem!Reader?

I was thinking of this: reader tries to teach how to play guitar to Arthur but it'll be kinda chaotic,something sweet and fun. I had this idea while listening to Javier singing cielito lindo.

Byee <3

࣪ ˖✧ Musical Interlude

✦ Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Fem!Reader ✦ Warnings/tags: None/pure fluff and silliness. ✦ Words: 1,9k ✦ a/n: Alright here it is, I hope you'll like it! NB: I made Arthur right-handed in this when canonically he seems to be ambidextrous; just thought it would be more convenient this way. As a guitar player myself, I loved writing this! (Arthur's pic is from my playthrough, guitar's pic from interest.)

Lately, life had been a little bit easier at camp. People were well-fed thanks to Mr. Pearson and the boys hunting copious amounts of animals, the swamps right next to Shady Belle providing unexpected resources like shrimps, alligator's eggs, or even 'gators themselves if one was bold enough to hunt them (which was definitely the case for some of the risk-takers in the gang.).

Jack had been saved and safely returned to his mother by John, Dutch, and Arthur a few days ago, and it definitely participated in keeping the mood bright and cheerful since his return party.

You were in a particularly happy mood yourself on this sunny afternoon, sitting on one of the boxes around the main campfire, tents and the usual mess of belongings specific to every camp containing a large amount of people surrounding you, making you feel at home. You liked this heterogeneous gathering of people's stuff; Hosea's book next to Dutch's almost extinguished cigar, little rocks Jack had gathered next to Charle's arrows, a half-eaten plate of stew abandoned there by John next to a letter that was probably Lenny's.

You liked this funny combination of objects; it made the camp feel full of life, homey, and convivial. It made you feel even more joyful.

"Hey Javier, you in the mood for a duo ?" You asked your charming Hispanic companion who had just finished eating on the big log around the campfire, putting his plate away.

"Always, mi princesa." The man happily answered, grabbing his guitar and yours that was carefully tidied just behind his and Uncle's banjo. He handed it to you, a big smile on his face.

You grabbed your instrument and placed it on your lap, left hand naturally placing itself around its neck, fingers pressing on the strings to warm them up a bit. Javier and you had always loved playing together; playing an instrument was already funny in normal times, but with another musician, it was even better. You could share the music, talk with each other in a language known only by artists, respond and play with each other in notes and phrases.

The dark-haired man had started playing an upbeat strumming, a fast, gypsy-like rhythm. You liked it, he was carrying you to allow you to solo on his rhythm. You gladly obliged, little grin on your face as your fingers danced on the neck, your other hand skillfully picking the right string every time, creating a harmonious melody on top of your friend's notes.

Some of the other members had gathered around you to listen, some whistling along as you played. Uncle was having the time of his life listening to you both, clapping his hands in rhythm. In the little group watching the show you were putting on, you noticed Arthur, subtle smile on his face, sipping on a cup of coffee, arms half-crossed. God, he was so beautiful even just like this, on a simple afternoon at camp, blue eyes bright with the light of the sun, light brown hair matching a sandy color flannel he had rolled up his elbows. You almost lost your rhythm when your eyes lingered on his bare forearms, and you quickly focused back on what you were doing, a sheepish little smile on your face.

After a prolonged moment of musical interlude, Javier thanked you and went back on with his day, explaining something about going fishing, which didn't surprise you. You were strumming mindlessly now, playing a little melody that was coming to you on the spot instead of an actual song. Most of the gang members walked off, some started around the campfire with you. Of course, Uncle was the first to sit on the white chair next to Javier's green tent, the old man had almost taken up residence on it; then came Hosea, opening a book as often after lunch, and finally Arthur, who came sitting right next to you on the blue box next to the brown one you were sat on, his cup of coffee left emptied on the floor.

You smiled at him, happy he wanted to rest for a while; it was rare for him to just come and sit by the fire, in fact, you were surprised he was even in camp on an afternoon at all, considering he was almost every day on a job or out hunting, coming back only for dinners and nights.

"Mr Morgan." You welcomed him with a sweet smile. Your mood was even brighter than before with him by your side.

"Miss Y/N..." He greeted you back, shifting a bit on the box, as if he was getting nervous. "You an' Javier play really well..." He began, deep voice drawling, always like he was taking his time to talk.

"Thanks, Arthur!" You claimed, genuinely happy he had liked it. With Arthur's usual poker face, it was sometimes hard to know what he was actually enjoying or not.

"I was wonderin'... Erm... Maybe..." He muttered under his breath, his eyes usually sharp and eager to make eye contact were now running away from yours. You could tell he was embarrassed, that piqued your curiosity and even softened your heart. He looked so cute like this.

"Yes...?" You inquired with an encouraging tone, offering him a reassuring smile, wanting him to understand he had nothing to feel embarrassed for.

"Maybe, you could show me some chords? I always wanted t' learn..." He probed you with a soft and interrogative tone. In a way, you had always liked how he acted more carefully and calmly around you.

"Oh! I would love to, Arthur." Your cheerful answer along with your enthusiasm made him crack up a big smile. Your heart felt lighter at this sight.

You gently offered him your instrument, placing it on his own lap.

"Alright, so. When you're right-handed, you put your left hand on the neck, and your right one on the strings." You explained to him, Arthur placing his hands where you told him, holding your guitar as carefully as if it was a newborn.

"Perfect. Now you need to pinch the strings to make a chord. For that, your fingers need to press this way-" You showed him by gesturing your fingers, curling them in the position they were supposed to have on the guitar. "What's good with you is that you already have calloused hands, so it won't hurt too much when pressing the strings."

Arthur tried to place them as you showed, but every time he tried he kept on letting them fall flat on the other strings; which made you laugh a bit.

"You need to curl them more, Arthur, or else we won't hear all the strings." You instructed him, and he chuckled a bit himself.

"Ah, this is more difficult than I thought..." He confessed in an amused tone, making fun of his own inexperience.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it. Just... Put them..." You bent over to him and gently used both your hands to make him properly grab the neck, and place his fingers how you wanted. "...This way."

Arthur tried to hold this position but it just felt so unnatural for his hand to be tensed like that. On top of that, your proximity and the soft touch of your fingers against his skin were definitely not helping making him more focused, not even mentioning how he could smell your delicate perfume when being close like this.

"A-Alright... Then ?" He asked you, trying to learn some more and focus back on the instrument, not his owner.

"Then, you strum the strings with your right hand, from up to down at first." You explained head tilted towards said hand, waiting for him to make a move.

Arthur did as you told, his fingers strumming way too hard, resulting in a horrible dissonant chord considering most of his fingers had moved on his left hand. You couldn't hold back a laugh at the sound he had made, and he followed you, feeling so ridiculous right now.

"Ah, damnit..."

"Arthur, you don't have to beat up the damn guitar!" You joked in between giggles, unable to contain yourself at the sight of the great Arthur Morgan struggling to play an instrument.

"This... Damned thing is sneaky; thought it was easy when lookin' at ya..." He mumbled, obviously frustrated by not succeeding, but also still a little amused at himself, the corner of his lips curling in a slight grin.

"Told you, you'll get used to it. You just have to keep playin'..."

As if to prove he could do it, Arthur tried again, but his index finger had moved again and was pinching the wrong string. When he tried strumming again, less softly, the chord began nicely, and both of you smiled triumphantly... Until the last string, when a terrible bum note ruined all his efforts.

You looked into his eyes, mouth trembling as you forced yourself not to burst out in laughter; he looked so frustrated, but the moment his eyes crossed yours, you both succumbed and exploded in a cacophony of laughing.

Hosea and Uncle had turned their head to your improbable duo, the sight of Arthur trying his best but miserably failing at hitting the good notes making them laugh too. Hosea's gaze caught yours, with this small knowing grin so typical of him, and you blushed a bit. Was it that obvious that you were spending the best afternoon trying to teach your beloved outlaw to play your favorite instrument?

"Y/N, I think it's useless, I'm way too shitty at this..." He admitted, a small but deep chuckle escaping from his chest.

"No no no, I told you before, you just need some practice. Look..."

You got up from the box and placed yourself right in front of him, grabbing each of his hands with each of yours. With your right one, you positioned his index and middle fingers properly to play the simplest chord, the E minor.

With your right hand, you gently guided his from up to down, making the tips of his fingers gently brush every string.

The chord finally ended up sounding right from start to finish, and Arthur let out a triumphant and sharp "Ah!", looking genuinely so happy it sounded good. You smiled fondly at him. How could a so violent and rough man look so adorable and goofy right now?

"See? You can do it." You asserted him, looking up at him in the eyes.

"Thank you miss, you did all the work..." He acknowledged, still smiling, the subtlest red covering his cheeks.

In the background, Hosea and Uncle were looking at each other with this specific look that was saying "There's definitely something between these two but we're not going to say anything".

You and Arthur spend another long moment trying to make him learn the simplest chords, those that require only two or three fingers. You two would crack up smile and laugh every time he would play a wrong chord, and honestly, it was the best day for you both in a long time.

As the sun was setting down, Arthur sighed deeply, realizing he hadn't done anything considered productive yet, spending his afternoon playing with you. He slowly handed you back your guitar, a gentle expression on his face.

"Thank you for your patience, darlin'. I don't know how you're dealin' with this awful skills of mine..."

"Come on, you've made some progress! Keep on training, Arthur. I'm sure you'll soon be the most famous player in the West, on top of being its fastest gunslinger. " You encouraged him, face as pleasant and lovely as a sweet peach on a hot summer day.

Your words made Arthur snort a last amused chuckle.

"You're puttin' too much hope on me, Miss." He concluded with an amused smile before leaving you, heart lighter, ideas brighter than when he had begun his day.

Arthur knew he wouldn't be very talented at guitar, but he also was certain he was going to ask you to teach him again some other day, and he would make sure to play more wrong notes, just to have the sweet opportunity to feel your tender touch on him again.

[majaloveschris]

Hi maja, you have been an endlessly patient blog willing to discuss and rehash the same tired topics with these anons 🤣.

A few words for the ones who stay camped in your inbox:

1) It is possible to be married to someone and not like their friends or family. I’m unsure why some people on here act like him “marrying” AB means he’s immediate besties with her loser friends and weirdo hanger ons. If anything, it’s toleration. How many of you have had partners whose friends you couldn’t stand or family you dreaded but you tolerated for the sake of keeping the peace? Have you seen Justin and CE pal-ing about anywhere? It doesn’t even seem like Justin himself is too big a fan of CE either which is funny, since without his name, this trash can of a human wouldnt have 90% of the engagement on his profile that he currently has. But sure - keep posting shade memes and trolling his fanbase. That’ll really get you brownie points 🙄

2) “he must be just like her and her friends” - already wrong because her besties are all self proclaimed fashionistas. Meanwhile CE stays wearing the same old Nikes from a decade ago and recycling the same t shirts in two different colors for the past two decades. Without a stylist (even with) he looks like he shops at the 75% section of champion sports. Why do you think he’s never there with her at those fashion week events? Why is he not there at the Lana del ray concerts? Maybe because he doesn’t care and still won’t care even if he’s married to her to the public??? If he hasn’t even bothered to change how he dresses or even pretend to care about fashion - what makes you think he’s going to change his views in life and humanity for her and her friends? If he hasn't bothered to adapt to her interests or at least feign some interest in doing so what makes you think he's suddenly going to change his entire personality to fit her and her friends? (I see him doing more of this with jenny and her friends than AB. think about it)

3) body language. Listen, you can say anything or even do anything - but your body language always gives it away. It’s innate for most of us at this point. This man is friendly, tactile, and affectionate to people he’s comfortable with. That much has been clear for the two decades he’s been a public figure. Look at the recent materialists shoot. He likely hadn’t met Celine or Dakota until this shoot (cant say for sure but let’s say they’re recent colleagues) - thanks to the vast BTS footage - sometimes candid, sometimes staged, sometimes random - you can see how he acts with them both. Friendly, open, smiling, affectionate, comfortable. Pedro even came through to post a pic and he looks softly happy with Celine - who is also a very affectionate person with the people she likes. He's been photographed multiple times with celine and he is always engaged, smiling with her. He’s filming with Dakota and can laugh and smile with her. There's footage of him arriving to set and she goes into hug him and he hugs her back, rubbing her back affectionately. it's not just a quick pat either.

He shows up for 5-10 pap walks with AB and not one walk has them smiling at each other. Not one pap walk. There are two random GG and UTA party photos where he’s smiling with her but man, after two years and two weddings you’d think he’d muster up a few more than fake smiles? Even the live footage at the restaurant - pap walk - the kiss is him a foot away from her and hands at his side. You’re a newly wed and you knew photos were happening and this is the best you give?

VF red carpet - he was polite and reserved with her at best, aloof and disengaged at most. even the parking lot photos after with his publicist, he's standing there looking at his phone while shes standing a foot away.

Remember the photo with Celine and Dakota where he's got arms around them both? possibly huddling to keep warm because it was a cold night of filming? compare that to parking lot with AB, especially since that was back in march and LA gets cooler at night.

4) A LOT of angry anons go in about age gaps and how men go for younger women because they think with their other head and blah blah. Sure, can be true. But pay attention to CE's body language around AB. Does he look like he's very super attracted to her and wants to XXX with her or does he keep his hands so to himself and even when he's posing with her? His movements are tepid, reserved, stiff. i do believe he is a gentleman and avoids being handsy around women unless they're both comfortable and I think you can see it in the recent materialists footage with his female costar and director.

maybe, he wants to be a gentleman with his own wife as well. sure. but I don't think when you're truly in love or attracted, you can really help yourself but show it. the same goes for when you're not attracted and not in love.

I mean, we saw Justin and Joana at Chris's house with Chris's friends. So if this isn't PR, then they are at least okay with them. And it's not even about one friend. Alba herself posted questionable things and friends with at least 2 people (Kiko and Justin) who are problematic too. While I get that you don't have to be besties with your spouse's friends or family members, Alba has been friends with Kiko and Justin, so she is okay with their views. I, personally, wouldn't want to be friends with someone who bodyshames people and wants to be quotes Hitler. And if Alba is okay with that behavior, it means she either agrees with them or she doesn't care that much. The same goes with Chris, if he actually married her. 

Trying to get into your partner's interest is not a must, but a decent thing to do for someone you love. Obviously, if it's something that makes you feel bad, for whatever reason, then nobody should force you to do so. But while getting into things she likes (Lana, fashion week) is not a must, having similar views is important. You don't have to get married to someone who is exactly like you, but I personally wouldn't want to be married to someone who is okay with racism and anti-Semitism. The whole "he must be like them" has nothing to do with his wardrobe but with him being okay with their views. If he is actually married to her, which I don't think. 

Yeah, his body language says it all. As you said, he looked really friendly and comfortable with Celine and Dakota, and I haven't seen him that way with Alba. Not even once. With Alba, they always look like they are forced to be there, and they look so unnatural and fabricated. 

That kiss in front of the huge door so the paps could take photos and videos of them was so cringe-worthy. Private couple, my ass. And the wipe of his mouth...jeez. 

I also don't see any attraction. You can see when he has chemistry with someone, and he usually does have it with most people, but not with his own wife, I guess. He is more affectionate with friends and family members than with the love of his life. Yeah, they don't have to have a make-out session, but even if you just look at them, you can see the lack of intimacy.