#this will make me sound like a terrible person

[koqabear]

hiii this is for the 2k event, i wanted to ask if u write hybrid!au cause yeonjun dressing up as nick wilde has got me feeling a little delusional. if u don’t completely ignore this but if u do, can i request fox yj and maybe bunny reader?

[2K Masterlist]

"Yeonjun is adamant that you’re a pretty, porcelain doll. You’re more than ready to shatter that idea and show him that you’re stronger than he thinks."

fox hybrid! yeonjun x bunny hybrid! reader // wc: 1.9K // genre: hybrid au, pwp. this is just straight filth im sorry. MDNI.

warnings dom!yeonjun, sub!mc, somnophilia (consensual), oral (f rec.) pet names (bunny, good girl), degrading, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, degrading, kitchen sex, manhandling, dacryphilia, begging, scratching, possessiveness, unprotected sex, breeding kink, creampies, aftercare kinda, girl idk i literally just dissociated when i wrote this i forget how exhausting this all is!!

Notes: the healthcare system is fucked even in fanfiction, you can’t escape. 

Every decision you’ve made throughout your relationship with Yeonjun has led to where you are now:

Face down, ass up, tears in your eyes and words muddled through the drool that spills through your lips. 

You’ve told him countless times that you’re not fragile; that the sweet, docile image he has of bunny hybrids is nothing but a sham, and that you can take anything he offers with a confident stride— and though he simply laughed in endearment and shook his head at your claims, you insisted. You insisted throughout all the sugary sweet times he made love to you, during all the moments where you felt his hands hesitate to hold you, as though he was afraid that putting pressure on your body would be enough to make you shatter. 

The words were tiring to both his and your ears at some point: the petulant whines asking for more, your pathetic attempts to try and take control and change the pace entirely— Yeonjun’s sharp, narrowed eyes that flickered at you in warning was the harshest thing you received from him— but judging by the shivers that flowed down your spine like water, your fluffy tail twitching in attention, you knew that your body only craved for more and your brain wouldn’t settle down until you got your way.

You could say that he warned you. He really did, technically, sitting you down for a serious talk about something you two never really discussed in detail. You watched with wide, slightly confused eyes as he explained to you that his heat was approaching, and that you definitely shouldn’t be around for it— when you perked up to interrupt, he merely shook his head to shut you down and continue his explanation. 

“I usually take medication, but my insurance no longer covers my usual prescription.” he told you, his ginger ears twitching in annoyance from the mere memory, “I’m taking a leave from work for it, and… I want to spend this time alone.”

“It gets intense… I don’t want to hurt you.”

A bruised ego and terribly confrontational personality was truly a god awful combination. Though you suppose it helped you for the better, considering that after a good argument with your ever-so loving and doting boyfriend, he finally gave up. 

You can remember the sight so vividly; his ruffled hair, the fluffy tail that whipped from side to side as he finally slumped back against the couch, out of breath and exhausted— his ears pinned against his head in defeat the moment he took a good look at you, in all your still fired up and energetic glory. 

He knew it was a losing battle the moment you cocked a challenging brow at him, as though begging for him to continue.

The word okay has never sounded better from your boyfriend's mouth. 

••••

That all leads you back to today. It’s been— oh, you really can’t remember. A day? Maybe two? You don’t think it matters at this point, since the only thing that fills your mind now is the feeling of being full, stuffed, and warm. 

Yeonjun gave you a chance to back out the second he opened the door for you. He spoke to you calmly, softly, nervously, watching you hop around his living room and throw your overnight bag on his couch, overjoyed to be taking such a monumental step forward in your relationship. You dismissed every slow, anxious sway of his tail as you ate dinner together, listening intently as he told you about how he’s gotten with his previous partners. 

It was too much for many of them. He gets aggressive. He gets insanely needy, it goes on for hours, even throughout the night. 

You prayed that he didn’t notice the pathetic clench of your thighs and slight arousal as he told you about his details, nodding sweetly when he asked if you were okay with doing the things he mentioned. 

You established a safeword, coddled him the moment you noticed his temperature beginning to rise, and gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead as you murmured your goodnights. 

About six hours passed when you first felt it; you’ve always been a light sleeper, so you were doomed the second your sensitive ears picked up on the sound of restless rustling behind you. You tried your best to ignore it, your drowsy mind eager to go back to sleep, but the white noise of sheets moving around was quickly accompanied by something else— breathy, desperate gasps.

“Bunny…” Yeonjun’s raspy whine was enough to have your ear twitching slightly; more rustling, and suddenly, a scorching heat hovers behind you. “Bunny, need… need you s’bad…”

His hands are heavy on your skin, almost scorching with the way he restlessly makes his way up your shirt, groping at your tits before they slide down your stomach, feeling you up all the way down before they stop at your thighs— without warning, he presses flat against you, a hand snaking beneath your body to wrap around your stomach and pull you flush into him. He was so hard, so needy that the very feeling of your soft ass pressing against him was enough to rip out a broken sob from him.

“Let me fuck you,” he murmured against the shell of your ear, words that slurred together showing that he was also half-awake, probably not too aware of his actions and the way he rutted into you helplessly, “C’mon bunny, lemme use you.” 

Your ass that pressed back into him and the sleepy whine that left you was enough for him.

You can only remember drifting in and out of consciousness that night; the sloppy, wet sounds of skin against skin and desperate grunts was nothing but white noise to you at that point— Yeonjun was glued to you for hours on end, fat cock thrusting harshly into your poor, abused cunt, filled with so much cum that it could only smear onto your inner thighs and his balls, leaving a mess you wouldn’t be able to clean anytime soon. 

When you woke up, you were on your back— your pussy was sore and a whine bubbled up uncontrollably from your throat, hips canting up and against Yeonjun’s face— your hands were shaky as you fisted the sheets, tears pricking your eyes as you listened to Yeonjun’s sweet nothings against your skin, leaving bites and kisses against your thighs as he promised you that he’d be quick, that he just needed to eat your sweet cunt— you’d get cleaned up nicely after. 

Yeonjun was a liar, of course— because none of his sweet promises included his burning desire to fuck you after you came, cleaning you up only to push his cock back in and fuck you right into the mattress; legs pressed against your stomach, wails leaving you as he plunged into you with abandon, frantic hands scratching down his back as you cried from the overstimulation— it only ended with him pressing deeply into you and emptying yet another load into your tired cunt. 

The semblance of normalcy that followed after didn’t last very long, either— yeah, getting carried to the shower and having him clean you up and scrub you down was nice, and sitting at the counter as you watched him make a quick breakfast was nice too, a heartwarming glimpse into a domestic future with him— but you were only able to get halfway through your meal before Yeonjun decided that he’d much rather bend you over the kitchen counter and have you there instead— moaning wantonly as he watched your trembling legs fail to keep up, buckling under his pace and forcing him to hold you up with his insane strength— and just when you thought he was getting tired, he simply flipped you on your back and laid you on the counter instead; he always did think you looked really pretty when you were totally fucked out, anyway. 

Maybe that’s when hours started blending together— he was sweet and caring when he needed to be, cleaning you up with a feather-like touch and kisses that warmed your heart— only to give you the whiplash of the century when his pupils dilated and the only thing he honed in on was you. 

You. You you you. 

His ears would press against his head and his tail would flicker dangerously, narrowed, focused eyes meeting your bleary ones with ease; you could only sit there and let him maneuver you however he liked, shivering and falling limp with each time he’d slide his cock into you, as though you finally felt complete. 

You looked so breathtaking to him— under him, over him, whatever position he suddenly found himself needing you in— teary eyes and swollen lips calling his name like a mantra, a prayer, a plea for him to use your body until he got his fill.

There was something so addicting about the way you trembled from the overstimulation, sobbing and writhing yet never saying your safe word. It had Yeonjun fascinated, the guilty part of his mind berating him for trying to see how far he could take things— yet, no matter what he did or what he said, you only seemed to beg for more, like you’d been waiting for this moment for ages.

“Take it, T-take it like a good toy,” Yeonjun hissed, fingers digging into your hips as his cock battered into you ruthlessly. You merely cried and moaned, cotton tail wiggling with every drag against your walls, the soft fur coated with dried cum, “said you could handle it, right? Stupid fucking bunny— nothing but a cumdump for me, hmm?”

Your squeals and chants of yes! Yes yes yes! only spur Yeonjun on even more— his body feels as though it’s on fire, bright hair sticking to his sweaty skin as he merely pushes himself further— you can practically feel his back hover over your own, able to tell that he’s close from his faltering pace and shaky breaths that fan across your skin. 

“Want me to breed you?” he asks, though there’s no need to ask anymore if the previous loads he’s dumped into you are any indication of your answer. Yet he still does, almost like instinct; it’s much more satisfying to hear you beg for it, anyway. 

And you do— your begging is so cute, how could he ever resist? Yeonjun’s nails might break your skin with how tightly he’s holding you, teeth digging into his pouty lip as he pumps himself into you, once, twice, then empties out everything he has to offer— your back arches and your hips move back to try and glue yourself to him, crying out his name in satisfaction as he fills you for the nth time of the night. 

The way you keen out, the sight of your ears that are pinned to your head along with your tail that shivers with satisfaction is like drugs to him; he’s hopelessly addicted to you, to all of you, from your stuffed cunt that continues to suck him in to your soft voice that whimpers out at every sensation you offer him.

Such a good girl, Yeonjun thinks to himself, butterfly kisses spanning along your sweaty skin, your barely conscious form curling into him for more, how did he get so lucky?

Even after he’s given you a moment to rest, laying down with you on top of him, you still cling onto him, sighing in content as you allow him to cockwarm you, already bracing yourself for the moment he feels himself needing you again. And as you both drift into a much needed nap, Yeonjun can only find himself thinking one thing. 

Thank god for you and your argumentative nature.

[save-the-villainous-cat]

hero x villaim but hit them with the "with everybody watching us, our every move, we each have reputation" (NOT A WRITING REQ UNLESS U WANNA DO IT !!!! just a silly thought I'd share bc . theyre so doomed) :3 -🐏

“You’re upset with me.” The villain chose their words carefully. In a situation like this, it wouldn’t be smart to let their emotional side win over.

“I am. I am very upset with you,” the hero said. They still looked terrible from the fight. Scratches and bruises covered their face as if the hero was the night sky and their wounds the stars. Even though the villain knew not to rush into things, they only wished to tend to the hero’s wounds.

“You know I couldn’t let you die.”

“I begged you to save those people instead of me,” the hero argued.

“It sounds horrible but I didn’t care about these people. My decision was made in an instant. I decided to save you, I decided to reach for you without even considering.” The villain wanted to explain it, wanted to make sure the hero understood. It had been an easy decision. It was cruel but it was the truth.

And now, the hero was starting to cry.

“I asked you to save these innocent people. These ten innocent people that had lives and families and jobs. These people who were important, who were someone’s entire world. Ten of them!” they choked out between sobs.

“You will save more people in the future than all of them would have combined,” the villain tried to argue but they knew, deep down they knew, how their weakness of logic and reason got in their way. They couldn’t help but see the world as patterns and effects. With explanations and conclusions weaving around them — a big terrible net of information.

They knew it wasn’t what the hero wanted nor what they needed to hear but the villain couldn’t give them what they deserved, they couldn’t find the comforting words.

They couldn’t even find a solution this time.

“That’s not the point. People aren’t numbers. People aren’t data,” the hero said. By now, tears streamed down their face and the villain wondered if they’d let them brush those tears away for them. Probably not. “I wanted you to save them. I wanted you to do the right thing.”

“The right thing was saving you. I’d do it all over again.”

“I thought you could change.”

“I thought you’d understand.” The hero shook their head and wiped their tears away with a bruised and swollen hand. A mission going south. Partly because the villain had been present. It wasn’t easy to take the blame but the villain supposed this was the least they could do if finding the right words was impossible already.

“People are chess pieces to you. You move them around how you want and you don’t care. You truly don’t care what happens to any of them,” the hero said. The villain could see their red ears and their shaking hands. And in this very moment, the villain saw themselves as the monster that they were, as the horrible human being the hero saw them as.

“I care about you, isn’t that clear enough?” they asked. The villain’s voice was shaking.

The hero took in a deep breath. The villain wanted to hug them. They wished their hero could understand. They wished they’d stop crying.

It hurt that the hero hated them in this moment.

“You’re supposed to care about others, too. You’re — you’re supposed to use your intelligence for the greater good. For other people, for humanity. I thought you understood me.”

“I do,” the villain said. “I do understand you. But in that moment, deciding between you and those people was easy. I’m sorry.”

The hero stared at them, speechless.

“You will always be my priority,” the villain said. “Even if you hate me. Even if you kill me eventually. I won’t put up a fight.”

“Do you like being hated?”

“I like you more than I care about being liked,” the villain said. They weren’t sure if they’d ever see the hero again after this.

“And I loathe you for that. I loathe you for the person that you are.”

They didn’t see each other for a long time after that conversation.

[doumadono]

Emergency request!

Yesterday evening the Aurora borealis was visible where I live, my family went to get a better view but I stayed home. Still, it was visible even from my backyard. But I missed it entirely because I had terrible diarrhea and vomited, and now I feel ugly, gross and unlucky.

The worst part was seeing texts of family and friends saying 'look outside' and 'it's amazing' sent five minutes after getting sick, and later when they got home no one asked if I was okay. The only solace I have is that if I'd gone with my fam I'd have probably shit myself.

Could I please request Shouto comforting me after having to miss something like that due to sickness? Something I "might never get to see again"? He's my comfort character.

If this doesn't qualify as an emergency I totally understand.

Aurora borealis - Shoto x Reader

A/N: I'm so sorry to hear about your difficult evening. It's understandable to feel disappointed, but please know that missing the aurora borealis doesn't make you any less lucky or worthy. Your health and well-being are the most important things. If it's any consolation, I'm sure there will always be more opportunities to witness the beauty of nature ♥

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

Shoto sat on the edge of your bed, concern etched into his features as he watched you curled up under the blankets.

Your face was drawn with exhaustion and frustration, the events of the evening clearly weighing heavily on your mind.

He reached out a gentle hand, resting it on your shoulder. "Hey," he said softly, his voice a soothing presence in the quiet room. "Are you feeling any better?"

You glanced up at him, the faintest hint of tears glistening in your eyes. "It was supposed to be so beautiful," you murmured, your voice tinged with disappointment. "I've always wanted to see it, and now I might never get the chance again. And no, my tummy still hurts."

Shoto's heart ached at the sadness in your voice. He knew how much you had been looking forward to witnessing the natural wonder, and it pained him to see you feeling so downcast. But he also knew that there were more important things than seeing a celestial display. "What matters most right now is that you take care of yourself."

You sighed, leaning into his touch as he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close. "I just feel so… ugly and gross," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper as a single tear rolled down your reddened cheek. "I feel so unlucky," you confessed, your voice tinged with sadness.

Shoto's grip tightened ever so slightly, his warmth a comforting presence against your skin. "You're not ugly or gross, baby," he said firmly, placing a kiss to your temple. "You're human, and sometimes our bodies don't cooperate the way we want them to. It's okay to feel disappointed, but please don't be so hard on yourself." Shoto's hand gently brushed against your hair, his touch soothing. "As I said, your health comes first, always."

You sniffled, a tear slipping down your cheek as you leaned into Shoto's embrace. "Thank you," you whispered, your voice choked with emotion. "You're the best boyfriend."

He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, his lips warm against your skin. "Anytime," he murmured, his voice a soothing melody in the quiet room.

After leaving your shared bedroom where you were resting, Shoto's mind raced as he thought of a way to bring the beauty of the Aurora borealis to you, even though you couldn't witness it in person.

Remembering Denki Kaminari, your common friend from U.A. times, was a streamer, he quickly reached out to him. Shoto pulled out his phone and dialed Denki's number. After a few rings, Denki finally answered.

"Hey, Todoroki! What's up?" Denki's cheerful voice came through the line.

"Hey, Denki. I hope I'm not interrupting anything, but I have a favor to ask," Shoto replied, trying to keep his tone steady.

"Of course, man! What do you need?" Denki responded, sounding genuinely interested.

"Well, you see, the Aurora borealis is visible tonight, and… well, my girlfriend is feeling really sick and couldn't come out to see it. And since you're frequently streaming on YouTube, I was wondering if you could stream it on your channel so she could watch it from home?" Shoto explained, feeling a bit awkward.

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line before Denki spoke again. "Wow, that sounds like a great idea! I'd be happy to help out! Let me jus finish my gameplay! Just give me a few minutes to set everything up, okay?"

Relief flooded through Shoto as he thanked Denki profusely. "Thank you so much, Kaminari. This means a lot to me and Y/N. I owe you one."

"No problem at all, Todoroki. Just glad I can help out. I'll let you know when the stream is up and running," Denki replied, his enthusiasm evident in his voice.

With a grateful smile, Shoto ended the call, feeling a weight lifted off his shoulders.

After some time, Todoroki returned to your shared bedroom with his laptop and a cup of freshly brewed mint. He passed you the cup and turned his computer on and navigated to YouTube.

"What are you doing, Shoto?" you asked, puzzled by his sudden actions as you slowly sat up, wrapping blanket around your shoulder, still feeling a little nauseous.

"Just wait and see," he replied with a small smile, his eyes focused on the screen.

Then, to your surprise, you saw Denki's stream pop up on the screen, the vivid colors of the Aurora borealis dancing across the display.

"Is that…?" you started, but Shoto cut you off with a nod.

"Yeah, it's Denki. He's streaming it live for you," he said softly, his eyes meeting yours with warmth and understanding. "I asked him if he could do that, and he agreed instantly. It's handy having a friend who's a YouTuber," Shoto chuckled softly.

As the night sky painted itself in shades of violet, teal, and emerald, the ethereal dance of the Aurora Borealis began. The camera panned slowly, capturing every mesmerizing movement of the celestial phenomenon. The colors shifted and swirled, creating intricate patterns that seemed to come alive before your eyes. As the stream continued, the intensity of the auroras seemed to grow, casting an enchanting glow over the landscape below. Trees swayed gently in the breeze, their branches silhouetted against the shifting colors of the sky. Occasionally, a shooting star streaked across the heavens, adding an extra touch of magic to the already mesmerizing scene.

The chat buzzed with excitement as viewers shared their awe and wonder at the natural spectacle, asking Kaminari for his opinion as well.

You couldn't believe it. The beauty of the phenomenon filled you with awe, and tears welled up in your eyes as you realized what Shoto had done for you. "Shoto, I don't know what to say," you whispered, overcome with emotion.

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. "You don't have to say anything," he murmured, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "I just wanted you to experience this, even if you couldn't be there in person. You mean everything to me, and I'll always go the extra mile to make you happy."

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Eri Reader x Straw Hats Part 24- Whole Cake Island

This is another doozy of an arc, so there will be abridging!

-Sanji made true on his vow to you, as soon as he saw Big Mom, who was pleased to see both him and you, he immediately asked her, “I will do whatever you ask of me, but do not let my family, any of them, anywhere near Y/N.”

-Big Mom seemed surprised by his request, leering down at him while her children were all doing the same, angered that he was making demands when he was going to be killed at the wedding.

-When she asked him of his reason, while you were hugging Sanji close, your arms wrapped around his neck, “You know what Germa 66 is capable of. If they get their hands on Y/N, who knows the torture she’s going to be put through, to get information on her abilities.”

-This made everyone freeze, they knew exactly what Germa 66 was capable of, that’s why they were arranging this wedding, but to see you in Sanji’s arms, trembling with fear, as you wanted to back to all the others, they were a bit more willing to listen now.

-Big Mom agreed to his terms, “Katakuri, my strongest son, will watch Y/N and keep her safe.” The massive man approached, looking so fall, even taller than Doflamingo, as you were a bit in awe as Sanji agree before looking down at you, as he had told you before this meeting that Luffy would come, he knows he will, “Be good Y/N. I’ll see you soon.” You nodded softly before turning to face the Charlotte Family.

-You were scared but when Katakuri picked you up, his hands almost swallowing you up, you felt something, you could tell that he was very strong, but he wasn’t a bad person, you couldn’t explain the feeling, as he held you up on his shoulder, safe and secure.

-Big Mom, curious of your past, as she had heard a lot about you, invited you to a tea party, where she had so many cakes and tea, “You’ll be part of our family soon enough, Y/N, so enjoy yourself!”

-You were confused, looking so innocent sitting on Katakuri’s knee, “But I already have a family, my big brothers, big sisters, and my mama!” Big Mom chose to ignore you, thinking that you had been brainwashed by the Straw Hats. You would come around soon enough.

-You didn’t know that your tea had been drugged, after you ate a bit, so you wouldn’t get sick, just putting you to sleep, and once you were out, Pudding came forward and used her ability to pull out your memory, which almost looked like a movie film reel, so everyone could see it.

-Big Mom knew about the condition of your body, the scars, and she was fully ready to make each of the Straw Hats pay, thinking they had done that do you.

-Only they didn’t they were the ones who rescued you. They saw this unknown man, Overhaul, experimenting on you, making you scream and cry, terrible sounds and visuals that none of the Charlotte Family would be able to forget anytime soon.

-They saw when Luffy found you, rescuing you, and how kindly he treated you, feeding you, and how you had been treated by the other members, all with gentle kindness, other than the occasional forehead flick when you did some reckless.

-Big Mom was distraught when she saw what your abilities allowed you to do, bringing those back from the dead, tears welling in her eyes as she thought of Mother Caramel. However, when she saw the repercussions of your ability, the high fevers, and the risk it put on your life, she was torn. She wanted to see Mother Caramel more than anything, but she wasn’t willing to risk a child’s health and safety for it.

-Seeing that the Straw Hats were not the ones that did this to you, the murderous intent faded for them at least, as Big Mom demanded to know who this Overhaul was, wanting to find any information about him.

-While Big Mom wasn’t going to go after the Straw Hats, unless if they tried anything funny, she wasn’t going to let them take you back, after seeing what you have gone through the past few years. They were incompetent in her eyes, unable to properly keep you safe.

-A few days later, you thought you heard someone saying something about Luffy, but you weren’t completely sure, as you hugged Katakuri face from the side, from your spot on his shoulder.

-Katakuri was unsure of this feeling he felt for you, it was so strange, so new, it wasn’t like the feeling he felt with his cute little siblings. This was something else, but he liked it.

-He did his job, keeping you safe, keeping a watchful eye on you, even when you were playing with other children, including the Charlotte Family children, making sure that you were safe at all times.

-Katakuri was very open with you, not feeling afraid of you being afraid of him, so he showed you his snack time ritual, showing you his true self.

-Instead of being scared your eyes were huge and sparkly as you watched him eat donuts, “So cool! You can eat such big donuts in one bite!!” This is what made his affection for you grow.

-The only thing Katakuri didn’t allow was for you to see Sanji, despite feeling his heart aching, seeing your puppy dog eyes, seeing you look so cute, calling Sanji your big brother.

-Katakuri took you to a place that overlooked the harbor and pointed out the Germa 66’s ship, “That’s Sanji’s family. From what I know he doesn’t see himself as a member of that family, but he wants us to keep you away from them, to keep you safe.” You remember Sanji saying the same thing, and it made you curious, wanting to know why Sanji didn’t like his family.

-When you heard that Luffy was on the island, along with Ace, Nami, Brook, and Chopper, your eyes lit up, wanting to return to your home on Sunny with them, along with Sanji.

-Katakuri felt like scum when you cried, when he told you that you weren’t going back with them, that Big Mom, or Mama as she had been wanting you to call her, was adopting you and you were going to be a part of her family. You didn’t understand and Katakuri felt guilt, seeing you in such a state.

-It was Luffy and Ace, working together, that led Katakuri leaving you with Sanji, who held you close, hugging you so tightly and Sanji felt the ice in Katakuri’s stare when he told the cook to keep you safe while he dealt with the invaders, not outright telling you that it was Luffy and Ace, so you wouldn’t be upset.

-Your little hands cupped Sanji’s face, seeing that he was injured, having been beaten by his family, being the weakest of them all, which made tears well in your eyes.

-Your horn flared to life, and he caught your hands, halting your actions, smiling softly down at you, “Don’t Y/N. I’ll be fine. I promise.” You lifted your pinkie finger to him, and he couldn’t help but grin, feeling warm and locked fingers with you.

-You then heard a new voice, “Is that Y/N?” you both turned and saw three more men, who looked kind of like Sanji, one with red hair, one with blue, and one with green, and a lady with pink hair.

-Sanji held you close, getting ready to move to run before Reiju came over, beaming down at you, “Hello there Y/N. I’m Reiju, Sanji’s big sister!” your eyes went wide, hearing this, and while Sanji seemed okay with her being close, he took a step back when the other three tried to approach.

-You then saw another man, a large man, following them, looking surprised to see you in Sanji’s arms, as he was curious as to where you were, as he knew that Big Mom had brought you to the island alongside his useless child.

-Niji and Ichiji both came over, telling you their names, as they knew their father’s plan on using you, and if they could get you easily like this, away from Big Mom’s watchful eyes, then they were going to take it.

-Yonji came over, looking cheerful, “And I’m Yonji!” instantly your mood and demeanor went from curious to terrified, your hands winding into Sanji’s shirt, your eyes going wide as you started breathing heavily, like you were panicking.

-Sanji and Reiju were quick to notice the change as your eyes were locked on Yonji, who tilted his head to the side, confused as to why you were looking at him like that.

-Sanji was quick to put his hands over your eyes and you quickly turned, burying your face into Sanji’s chest, trying to hide from this man. You didn’t know him, but his voice… it was the same as Overhaul’s.

-Reiju was quick to slap Yonji, demanding to know what he had done to you to make you so afraid, which caused lots of yelling. Sanji noticed Reiju pointing to the window, giving him an out, as she was terrified to see you look so scared, and Sanji ran, leaping out the window.

-His brothers and father all yelled, seeing him escaping, as Sanji used his sky walk to escape, descending safely while holding you close. Sanji was willing to do whatever it took to keep you safe, and if it was his life or yours, he would always make sure that you were safe, every single time.

-Luck was on his side when he saw Luffy, Ace, and Nami again, running to safety after having defeated Cracker and escaping and he shouted, “NAMI-SAN!!” She turned, hearing Sanji as Niji was closing in on him, using his power suit to catch up.

-Sanji squeezed you once before tossing you towards the group and instantly you felt Luffy’s rubber arms wrapping around you before pulling you into his chest.

-You looked up, tears blooming in your eyes as you cried, “Big brother!!”

-He held you close, not letting you look back, as he looked murderous as Niji, Ichiji, and Yonji were attacking Sanji, while Reiju and Judge looked on, but Nami was the one to grab Luffy, and the three of them ran, looking for a place to hide.

-For a while, you were safe, crying in Nami’s arms as you told them what Sanji’s mean family had done and how Big Mom wasn’t going to let you go with them, that she wasn’t going to let you go.

-Ace just ruffled your hair softly, trying to console you, “It will be okay Y/N. We’re going to get Sanji back and then were going to meet up with the others in Wano.” You sniffled softly, giving him a firm nod and he grinned, seeing you looking happier.

-That was short lived when you were attacked by Big Mom’s children, Katakuri taking you back from Luffy, who was demanding him to let you go. You were trembling, looking scared as they were all captured and taken away.

-Katakuri had been furious to see you there, knowing Sanji had betrayed him, but when he returned to Sanji, Katakuri saw that he was badly beaten, as if he had been violently attacked. Katakuri wasn’t dumb to realize that Germa 66 had found you, and Sanji took you to safety, with Luffy and the others.

-You were crying, seeing Sanji in such a state before you scared Katakuri by leaping from his shoulder, to get to Sanji. He caught you safely, sighing softly in relief, “That was reckless.”

-Another voice then spoke up, “I agree.” You both turned, seeing Reiju there, holding medical supplies, looking upset, as if she didn’t want this to happen to Sanji.

-Sanji, through gasps of pain, as he refused to let you use your ability on him, told you that Reiju was the only good one in his family, beside his mother, Sora.

-You noticed Reiju trying not to cry, hearing her mother’s name, and Katakuri remained silent, letting you be with Sanji and Reiju, hearing the tale of how the Germa 66 came to be, and what Sora was willing to do to keep her children safe.

-You were in tears by the time he finished the tale, telling you how Reiju snuck him out all those years ago, getting him to a ship where he would later meet Zeff

-Your horn started glowing by itself as you sniffled, crying as Sanji tried to move, immediately hissing in pain, “Y/N! Calm down!” Katakuri went to touch you when a bright light filled the room and only moments later, a woman was standing there, blond, with curly eyebrows.

-Reiju’s jaw dropped open, her tears welling as the woman gasped suddenly, taking her first breath, “Mother!!” Sora turned, being embraced by her now much older daughter, surprised to see her there before she gasped, “Sanji!!”

-You stumbled back, holding your head, feeling woozy as Katakuri pulled you into his arms, pulling his scarf off, wrapping it around you as you started developing a fever, tears streaming down your cheeks.

-Sanji was in disbelief, seeing his mother there, tears welling in his eyes, but he didn’t care, he openly cried as she held him close, holding her sweet child in her arms once more.

-Katakuri was conflicted, he knew that the Germa 66 was going to die at the wedding, at least those four men who deserved it, but seeing these three, seeing the love they had, it didn’t feel right to let them die too.

-Sora was pleased to meet you, once your fever broke, as Sanji explained your ability, and how you brought her back to life, as she hugged you close, cuddling you. She was a lot like Sanji, so warm and cuddly.

-Reiju then spoke, “Y/N, what did Yonji do to make you so scared of him?” She had been wondering this, as did Sanji, and hearing this, Katakuri and Sora were also curious, but only Katakuri had pain on the mind.

-You hesitated for only a moment before you pushed up one of the sleeves on your shirt, showing your scars, making the two women gasp in shock as Sanji looked mad, seeing them again, “I… he- he didn’t do anything, but he… he has the same voice as… as Overhaul, the one who did this to me.”

-Sora cuddled you close again, vowing to keep you safe.

-Katakuri then spoke, “I know Mama wants to use you as well Y/N, when you’re older and stronger. She said it was to keep you safe, but the safest spot is with that loud mouthed captain of yours. I’ll help you all get to safety.”

-He then told you all about the plot to kill Germa 66, so big Mom could take the technology for herself, to create weapons, and you realized that she was no better than the Germa 66.

-Sanji agreed to go through with the plan, as Katakuri could see, with his future sight, that shit was going to hit the fan tomorrow.

-You remained with Katakuri, to help with the plan, as Reiju, Sanji, and Sora went to rescue the others, telling them of the plan and the inside friend they now had.

-Luffy calmed, hearing that Katakuri was willing to help you all escape, but he agreed to go through with the plan, as they had their own inside man, with Capone Bege, who was helping arrange for the wedding to go badly.

-Sora was distraught to learn what Judge had done to their children, seeing what they had become, but knowing that Reiju and Sora were good, and that Sanji had you, she was willing to do whatever it took to help where she could.

-Bege had the idea of her being a shock factor, to stop the Germa 66, if they tried to come after them during the fallout, something Reiju agreed to help with, as she was leaving to be with her mother.

-Sanji offered them a safe place with Zeff, whom he knew would take them both in, and they liked the idea of the easy life, working in a restaurant, one that helped raise Sanji into the man he was today.

-You were in Katakuri’s arms, wearing a pretty dress, one fit for a wedding, looking a little nervous as you watched Pudding, who you found out wasn’t as nice as she pretended to be, and Sanji up on the humongous wedding cake.

-Katakuri looked down at you, giving you a tiny squeeze, one that reassured you.

-Shit hit the fan and it hit it hard and fast when Luffy and the others launched their attack, shooting Mother Caramel’s photograph, sending Big Mom into a fit of anguish, one that would have hurt your ears, had Katakuri not put mochi in your ears prior to her losing it.

-Your eyes were wide as you saw Sanji saving his family, who had been encased in hard candy, so they could be easily shot, but he glared down at them as Reiju took his hand, “Never come after me or Y/N again!”

-Reiju beamed at them as they went to stand, to attack Sanji, demanding who he thought he was before a voice spoke up, “He’s my very normal human son!!” They all turned, seeing Sora there and eyes went wide, seeing her alive, realizing that you had brought her back to life.

-Judge looked so elated to see her, trying to approach but she popped off with the mother of all bitch slaps, sending him spinning as she glared hard, “Children are not weapons! I tried to teach you this then, and I’ll teach you this now! Why do you think they had no feelings being faced with death?!”

-Reiju grabbed her mother, hugging her close and took off, using her boots to skywalk, as they rushed for the ship Katakuri had prepared for them, as Sanji had called Zeff, letting him know what had happened and he agreed to take the two women in.

-Katakuri had to make it look like he was fighting Ace and Luffy, to keep up appearances, as they were pulled into the mirror by Brulée, who was in on the plot, willing to help Katakuri, and willing to help you, after you showed her such sweet kindness, one she had never felt before, getting everyone safely to the ship.

-Katakuri hesitated in handing you over, he didn’t want to let you go, Ace saw the look in his eyes and smiled softly, “You’re welcome to join us, if you want to.” Katakuri was startled by this offer, before he shook his head sadly, handing you to Brook, “No, my place is here with my family, just as you all belong together.”

-You caught his hand, surprising him as you beamed, “Don’t forget to come and see me, okay?” he chuckled softly, stroking his thumb down your cheek, before he left, retreating to his family.

-Your eyes were huge and sparkly, watching Carrot go Sulong, which was amazing to see, as you had never seen anything like it, but she was still Carrot, as she hugged you, rubbing her cheek against her own, once she took out several of the opposing ships.

-Ace held you on his shoulders, his hat on your head, as everyone managed to escape as Luffy beamed, “Onward to Wano!!”

-You threw your hands up, cheering with the others, wondering what awaited you on your next adventure!!

[scintillyyy]

☕️ on good and bad jobs for Dick Grayson

ooooh fun. i'll say something controversial on bats and jobs in general & that's that i think that the focus on what jobs would be good for them have a tendency to focus on like. full-time Good Respectable careers as potential jobs for them (& i think it stems mainly from bruce being a CEO & people thinking that the batkids should follow suit to maintain a civilian persona or w/e). and the truth is that they're all rich af and nobody is checking for whether the 'wayne kids' are gainfully employed, so there's no need for them to ever pursue. careers. on account of it would probably get in the way of their more important job. (also, there's something about the careers usually chosen for them that implies. well, nobody is ever choosing retail worker for them for some reason despite the fact they have the means to pursue literally anything & not struggle for it).

i'll start with good:

so all & all i think a good job for dick is one where he can connect with the public & forge community bonds. that being said, i am drawn to part-time work such as bartending or being a gymmastics coach (which i believe he's canonically done both of those) as the ultimate best jobs for him as they're generally low commitment, low stakes ways for him to get that involvement with his local community.

we could also lean into his love for math & make him an accountant, but like one who does a ton of pro-bono work and focuses in on helping his local community with retirement planning & taxes (little bit too high stress & busy, especially around tax season, for my taste but dick does like to make his life hard so.). or like. economist or health economist? maybe someone who is contracted to help cities with budget stuff.

if he does work a municipal job of some sort--any sort of seasonal recreational job would be best for him over anything else imo. let him be a lifeguard or something. again, none of them can commit to the hours needed to work full time for the city, but taking a job that would promote good in the city (being able to keep pools open for kids) would be a good, relaxing thing for him. i'm sure he'd appreciate being able to save kids from drowning, too. or a city planner. that sounds fun for him for some reason.

bad jobs:

listen, as much as i actually do like the cop job for dick, not in a he's there to reform the police department like dixon tried way, but in a 'i like when dick makes decisions that are fundamentally a bad idea for him that will eventually blow up in his face' way. cop is a terrible choice for dick lbr.

any flavor of paramedic/emt/firefighter. god, i think i've told you this before, but i genuinely think this is the worst possible job for any of them. ever. especially dick. don't be fooled by media that shows only the heroics. this is a job where, while you do save people & that's very important, it's more about having to be okay with all of the people you can't save. of which there are a lot. this is a job that requires so much ability to dissociate from being called too late/failing/etc in order to go about your daily life, that none of them would be able to do it without constantly ruminating on the person who they tried & it was impossible to save them from the start. these are fantastic jobs to make dick hate himself, i'll give it that.

on a related note, physical therapist/any healthcare job in particular. trust me on the physical therapist. (seriously, though, it's another job where it's like. u have to be okay wuth the fact that you'll never be able to help everyone.) but really any healthcare job in general....like dick would do much better in a job where he can make tangible change in healthcare and how it works to make people's lives overall better over healthcare itself. u think dick is going to do well in a job where he has to cut off someone's rotator cuff repair treatment because insurance decided the person was done 3 months in. no. any healthcare job would demoralize him too much.

any sort of influencer/model/social media personality. it doesn't make sense.

aerialist trainer. listen this seems like it'd be good for him, but bad things tend to happen when he goes back to circus stuff. let him not be traumatized for once. (slightly joking)

spy. sorry. but spy.

[andavs]

Honestly, I think it would be super fucked up for them to not only have Eddie completely blow up his life when nothing even remotely similar has happened with the other characters this season (as opposed to season five, for example, where everyone was their worst selves) but also for them to jump headfirst into it with zero build-up thus far. It would just feel extremely wrong to me.

Yeah, that’s where I’m at too. 

The first season feels like a different show because everyone is making bad decisions and acting poorly, and therefore the message is that you can still be a good person in spite of that. But we’ve long since moved past that and if only Eddie is fucking up this season, then it feels more like the message is just that Eddie kind of sucks. Especially when he hasn’t really been highlighted enough to contrast this behavior and make it clear that this isn’t normal Eddie to new viewers.

I know we’re getting a Bobby arc related to the fire, but big mistakes feel very different when they’re all in the past/flashbacks, and we’ve been seeing Bobby be a great husband and captain all season. We saw him fight to save everyone in the cruise ship and go back for the kid, and confess to Athena that he doesn't think he deserves this second chance. And even though he did cause the fire, it sounds like Amir will be the one gunning for him while Bobby tries to make amends, so even if you’re new to the show, Bobby will most likely be the one you’re rooting for. 

Whereas a single father destroying his life and family to repeatedly cheat on his girlfriend, to pursue an oblivious woman who looks like his dead wife, to the point of a mental breakdown…probably won’t have much of the audience rooting for him? Especially when up until now, we've seen him kind of ignore his girlfriend and move her in and out of his house within 48 hours. Unless it does turn out to be a brain tumor or something causing it, the reaction would probably be something like, “Wow, that guy’s fucked up and really sucks."

If it’s more harmless and over within an episode, and framed as grieving Eddie spending time with Kim until he’s able to get closure, then that’s a more sympathetic character for someone new to latch onto and root for.

As much as we in the fandom love these characters and will follow them through terrible decisions, I don’t know if that’s true for the general audience, who are the people ABC is trying to win over and keep watching this show week after week. Especially when up until now, the season has been pretty optimistic and light and showcasing the good in them. One character abruptly shifting to the psycho thriller genre would be jarring as hell.

[bertoyana]

i'm so sorry i don't want to be the "the party ended 5 years ago and he's still here" person but dark phoenix's final scene is still SO funny to me. especially to see how erik plays charles like a fiddle

like: he shows up with NO helmet AND a chess set. (he did this last time in days of the future past, and it worked, right? so it should work again, right? right???)

so, he sits, completely uninvited mind you, and he tries (and fails terribly bless his heart) at starting a normal conversation, he asks charles about his retirement, probably trying to get charles to like, talk about it or whatever

(rip erik's hairline)

charles is not having any of it, which... valid. the last time he and erik had a full conversation, erik told him to shut the fuck up 

anyways, erik realizes his failed attempt at being casual did NOT work like he wanted, so he pulls out plan b - he calls charles his old friend (which, if you pay attention, in the prequels they use 'old friend' as a term to de-escalate the situation)

which WORKS, for some reason, and charles immediately deflates and gives erik the tiniest smile in existence, because erik showing he cares always seems to do it for charles lmao

(he's so embarrassing . god bless. @ x men: is this your leader)

anyhow, erik pulls out the second part of his plan b - he asks charles if he wants to play a game. still playing casual. just two buddies. just two guys. some guys. just some friends having a toootal normal n casual conversation.

and you can immediately see charles close himself up, he crosses his arms and avoids looking erik in the eye. erik managed to soften him up with the 'old friend' and having his helmet off, but it's not enough YET so erik pulls out his plan c. luckily his last one, christ, charles really does like to keep them waiting doesn't he

keep an eye on erik's entire demeanor in this scene, his position is not closed off like charles', he's open, he leans on the table, and maintains eye contact with charles. his head is tilted to one side and everything, completely harmless

i'm so obsessed with charles' microexpressions here james mcavoy you are so insane

anwyays, charles uncrosses his arms and his position does come off a little more open, but if you watch the scene you can see him shake his head. this obviously touches him - but he's probably intending to say still no. probably because he has the biggest martyr complex i've ever seen in a fictional character 

so, erik pulls up his fucking plan d (lol) and hopefully this time IT WILL be the last. he pulls the pawn out of his jacket pocket.

(why the fuck is this played like a fucking romantic scene i'm so serious, why is he smiling to himself like that)

mind you, erik had the pawn in his pocket the entire time, which could mean either of two things:

charles looks surprised/confused the entire scene, but in THIS part he doesn't look confused, he just looks like he's still trying to figure out what erik is trying to do. so it either means erik makes charles play this 'guess where it's hiding' game all the time (????) which doesn't really sound likely for him to do, but erik is always begging charles to get into his head so it wouldn't surprise me if he actually did this every time. god knows he's desperate enough or

erik was expecting charles to reject his offer right away, and had multiple other plans shoved up his ass if this was the case. this also seems likely, he's obsessive enough to have thought multiple ways through. 

anyways, he puts his two fists up and pulls up the most mortal sentence in existence. one he knows charles won't be able to deny him

"just ONE game 🥺 for old time's sake???? 🥺🥺🥺" man stfu you are 62 years old GET UPPPP 

anyways - pay attention to his wording. 

"just one game" because erik came ALLLL this way for charles, so charles might as well play ONE game with him, and then erik could be gone - if charles wanted it that way. 

"for old's time sake" when things were easier and when they were more at peace - when they were on each other's side. when they were together and the mansion, just after charles had saved him and gave him a hom- oh wait 

(also, there's 100% a hidden meaning here. and there’s also a 100% chance i’m reaching but idc. the pawn could be in his left hand or his right. the possibility is 50/50. the only way charles could know with 100% certainty was if he entered erik's mind - if he took up erik's offer. but he could also not get into erik's mind and just... guess and fail - by thus, not taking erik's offer. erik is giving him an out, a choice to make the first move)

(and the chess piece he offers charles a WHITE pawn. the white pieces are the first ones to move. 

also also if you have paid attention to the previous movies, erik is always the one to use the white pieces, this is the first movie where we see charles play with white)

anyways, charles does struggle a bit with the choice, but ultimately he decides to accept erik's proposal and """guesses""" right.  

and going from erik's... entire face and smirk lmao i'm guessing charles went into his head to get it right. mind you, this is like sex for them

charles accepts - erik is very relieved to know he's not the only one who's down horrendously. and after the worst guessing game in history (seriously, the pawn was in erik's right pocket and then he had it hidden in his right hand... man i guessed that shit and i'm not even a telepath) they start rearranging the board

so anyway, erik gives charles this look like he wants to climb him like a tree, which means that playing edward 'down embarrassingly bad' rochester in jane eyre (2011) finally fucking paid off

erik doesn't even blink mind you, and charles doesn't take his eyes off erik either way, which means they are just STARING at each other without blinking for god knows how long LMAOOO 😭😭😭

once everything is said and done, erik makes a silly little joke and charles rebuts. then erik gives him the biggest smile i've ever seen him give to someone since magda, and then he follows it up with a smaller, softer smile with no teeth

seeing this for the first time in the theater was like getting shot in the chest, no joke

mind you erik stopped trying like three minutes ago but for some reason, the first time we finally see charles soften up in the ENTIRE movie is after he sees erik smiling at him. which could mean nothing.

and the thing is: charles does have a big heart, and he means well, most of the time, but he also doesn’t necessarily has… the best way of showing it with his actions lol. erik knows this, and he knows charles has a thing for lost causes, for people the society has given up on. charles threw himself into the freezing water to save erik - even when he didn't KNOW him. 

AND he also knows charles has the biggest soft spot for him, he KNOWS - because all those years ago, charles' biggest accussation wasn't "you paralyzed me" it was "you left me". because after erik lost his wife and daughter, charles rushed to find him, to make sure he was okay. because nine years ago, charles looked at apocalypse and said "fuck you you are twisting erik's grief, and you are hurting him" to A GOD BTW. TO HIS FUCKING FACE NO FUCKS GIVEN AT ALL

tldr: call erik the fucking violinist because boy he sure knows how to play charles like a fucking instrument and how to press all the right keys to get him to say yes to him. he gave charles an out if he didn't want to come with him, but he also came PREPARED for it, mind you, he came PREPARED to take charles with him to genosha. he didn't get to take charles with him 30 years ago, and he was going to be dammed if he didn't take charles with him NOW (this time with no bullet wound and no helmet lol)

and the most insane thing to me is, that he knows charles has a soft spot for him, he's known this for 30 years, and yet, the only time he uses it in his favor is to get charles to say yes to him on this. the only time he uses it is when he thinks he can do something to help charles - to give him back all the kindness charles gave to him 30 years ago. 

anways i'm insane. i'll be back here eating glass if you need me. i'm so normal about them. simon kinberg broke something in me 5 years ago

[readingismyhobby24]

Hello everyone!!! This is the first fic I've ever posted!! I don't know if it's any good, but I had a lot of fun writing it, and it's inspired by real life events too lol.

I had a large battle with a small jumping spider a few nights ago, and I lost, terribly. It did inspire this, so I hope someone will enjoy it as much as I did while writing it. While also completely freaking out about the real life events... Sorry Wars (and Mask), you get to deal with this now 😁

Also, I wanted to thank @crazylittlejester for listening to all my rambles about the spider fight, along with encouraging me to write this fic. Thanks Jes! You're literally the best!!!

Sorry for any mistakes! This was written by me at like 1 am on Saturday, I believe, so yeah... Enjoy!

(clicks post, throws phone, then runs away screaming)

Along Came a Spider

Word count: 1,100

It had been another long, strenuous day out on the battlefield. Link’s body ached and he was so sore, it was hard for him to even make it back to his tent for the night. He was so completely and utterly exhausted.

Link had never been more ready to go to sleep.

He had finally made it back to his tent and he couldn't help but let out a relieved sigh. He walked in to find both his brothers already inside on their cots. Tune was fast asleep and looked like he had been for a while. Mask on the other hand, was wide awake.

“What took you so long?” the boy asked irritatedly. “Everyone else came back hours ago.”

“I got held up to help with battle strategies.” Linked answered quietly, to not wake their other brother.

“Couldn't they have at least let you sleep some first. What person could come up with battle strategies right after they had literally been fighting in one all day?” Mask asked.

“It’s war, Mask,” Link sighed. “We don't have much choice.”

“Well, get some sleep now. You look like you really need it,” the young boy huffed, and without another word, turned away from his brother and closed his eyes.

“Thanks. I appreciate it,” Link huffed to himself with a small laugh.

After he finally finished getting ready for bed, he went over to the lamp to turn it out. As soon as his hand was about to make contact with the knob, a strange movement caught his eye. Looking down, Link gave out a loud gasp at what he saw.

A small, brown spider was standing directly on the lamp, just above the knob, and looked to be making a web. Link was at a standstill. He so wanted to go to bed, but there was a literal spider on the lamp! He certainly wasn't going to touch it, that's for sure. Maybe he could just turn off the lamp and leave it there? It should still be there in the morning if it was making a web. He could have Wind deal with it tomorrow.

With that in mind, Link slowly lowered his hand to the knob. As soon as his finger touched the knob, the spider, without a moments hesitation, jumped at his hand.

Link screamed and quickly ran to the opposite side of the tent. The two boys who were once asleep in their cots, were quickly awoken at the sound. Both Tune and Mask quickly grabbed their swords, thinking their older brother was in danger.

“What is it?!” Shouted Tune as he quickly made it to his brother's side, Mask not far behind.

“THERE’S A SPIDER!!!! And it tried to jump on my hand!” Link yelled, and pointed, with a shaky hand, over at the lamp.

“A spider?” Tune asked confusedly, while Mask screamed at the same time, “A SPIDER?!?!”

Mask quickly jumped behind his oldest brother and yelled “KILL IT!!! KILL IT!!!”

“I'M NOT TOUCHING IT!!!” Link yelled back to the boy that was literally hanging off of him.

“You're the oldest!”

“Oldest doesn't mean bravest, Mask!”

Tune shook his head. “Oh my gosh, guys. It's just a spider. It's not going to hurt anyone.”

“Have you seen those things?!” Link shouted at Tune.

Tune sighed and headed over to the lamp, but upon looking at it, he found nothing. “Uh, Link. There is no spider over here.”

“What do you mean there isn't a spider over there? I saw it with my own eyes. It literally jumped at me!” Linked yelled exasperatedly.

“Well, there isn't one now,” Tune said as he looked around the lamp.

“Yes there is,” Linked detached himself from Mask and ran over to his other brother.

He looked around for the spider at a distance, and was shocked when he didn't see it. “Oh no. Nononononon. I can't believe we lost it!”

“Link, calm down!” Tune tried to reassure his brother.

“Don't tell me to calm down. We lost a spider!” was the young man’s frantic reply.

Mask, who was still standing behind Link, stiffened. “Ummm. Link…”

“What?”

“Look at your arm..” Mask answered worriedly.

“What about my arm?” Link said. He quickly looked down, and then he too, stiffened.

A loud scream ripped through his throat when he saw the spider running down his arm.

“GET IT OF!!! GETITOFFGETITOFF!! HELP!!!” Linked screamed.

Tune quickly grabbed his brother, trying to get him to calm down. At the same time, another figure burst through the tent, large sword at the ready.

“What is happening?” Exclaimed Impa as she ran over to the three boys, all while Link was still screaming.

“There’s a spider on Link!” Mask exclaimed.

Impa quickly rushed over and grabbed Links arm, quickly swatting the spider off. “I thought someone was being assassinated!”

“Uhhhh, yeah. Sorry about that,” Link smiled sheepishly as he took many deep breaths to calm himself.

“After everything you've been through, everything you’ve fought, and seen, you were screaming over a tiny spider?” Impa asked incredulously.

“How does me, doing any of that, have to do with my fear of spiders?” Link asked back defensively.

“Yeah,” Mask agreed. “Spiders are a whole different category of scary. Don't judge him.”

Impa shook her head, and then quickly scooped up the spider that was now on the ground, and left the tent. What no one noticed was how hard she was trying to keep from laughing at the situation. That was definitely not what she was expecting when she had heard all the commotion.

Back at the tent, Link finally got to sit down in his cot. Letting out a big sigh, he flopped down on the cot. Right before he fell asleep, he heard giggling coming from a different side of the tent.

“You know,” Mask said through his giggles. “I'm sure the entire camp heard you screaming over a tiny spider.”

Link groaned. He did not need to think about that. “If I rember correctly, you were also screaming over said tiny spider.”

“Yeah,” Tune agreed. “You guys also almost succeeded in giving Impa a heart attack.”

“Poor Impa,” Mask said. “She doesn't deserve that. Imagine if Impa died because of us and a tiny spider.”

“Well, no one died from any tiny spiders tonight, so we can thank Hylia for that,” Link joked. “Also, what happened in this tent, stays in the tent. Got it?”

“Yes sir!” Tune saluted.

“Goodnight guys,” Link said.

“Goodnight,” Mask replied.

“Don't let the spiders crawl in your bed tonight,” Tune chuckled mischievously.

“TUNE!!! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!?”

[cleolinda]

Weekend links, May 12, 2024

My posts

Your head is hurting and your wifi is out because the biggest solar flare/geomagnetic storm in 20 years hit this weekend. I didn’t actually get to see the aurora borealis, but apparently it really did come down as far as Alabama. 

I admit that this was an extremely glib reply. But like, Athena specifically doesn’t like people claiming they’re better than her, so you can imagine the carnage when you throw in two more goddesses as well.  

(I feel like that post happened a month ago. This week has felt so ungodly long.)

Reblogs of interest

Hot Vintage Lady Bracket: Round 6. Eight polls. Poll Mod immediately chose violence and put Marilyn Monroe against Hedy Lamarr. Since Ava Gardner is out (actual shockers: Greta Garbo and Rita Hayworth are also gone), I was going to say “I’m just Chaos Elmo Flames Dot Gif about it all” but now I’m just scared. 

(Why would you ask us, a hot vintage poll blog, this)

Dracula Daily is in full swing again, and you can eat along!

The Met Gala was honestly decent this year! I reblogged only (some of) the ones I liked, including some of the construction details and a lot of Zendaya, although my favorite might have been Rebecca Ferguson with the crows. 

A while back and not what he wore to the Gala, but: Lil Nas X looking beautiful in a rose garden.

Hozier Watch 2024: I really thought there wasn’t going to be anything else and then he was like, “Oh I should probably put out a video for my accidental international #1.” I am entirely disgruntled that he was here last weekend and I couldn’t go. 

From the top of the week, Drake vs. Kendrick Lamar: An explainer. Also, Kendrick recs.

MrBeast is living in a joyless hell of his own making, and I at least understand now why he has always freaked me out. 

So anyway noted plagiarist James Somerton is alive and well on Twitter, where he’s... well, he sure is there. The words “hole posting” are involved. Another explainer for you. 

Lynda Carter proves she’s on Tumblr

We put our faith in BLAST HARDCHEESE

Peace and love on planet Earth and also in the Uber

“thinking about middle aged gay love is like. we have a future and we have time”

While there are merits to this concern, “Writers should all clown on Americans by making up places in THEIR country” doesn’t really sting when we’re all like “Yeah we love doing that!!!” I personally give you all permission to make up as many wackadoodle state names as you want. You can have West Mainolina for free. 

Meanwhile in Alabama: Bad, bad Leroy Brown, the baddest fish in the whole damn town

RIP Walnut the crane: “The Bride”

Dinosaurs are terrible lizards

Teaching consent is a many-faceted thing

Become ungovernable: grill edition

Video

Galadriel’s opening Fellowship of the Ring monologue, but it’s the Deep South (U.S.). “Across the county line in Mordor, the Dark Lord Sauron made his self another ring outta everything mean the devil put in him.” Absolutely pitch perfect. 

Also pitch perfect: Wellness influencers with terrible advice

“Mooom, the chocolate alchemist has an accomplice now!”

I will always reblog cheetah sounds

The Collage Atlas: a hand-drawn game on Steam

The sacred texts

South Canada. South South Canada. Canada A Bit to the Left

I think I’ve listed this compilation of parody lyrics (”I’m sorry Ms. Jackson/I am four eels”) before, but there’s more now

“Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue”

Personal tags of the week

Scrungly and, as a related topic, Belphegor the Devon rex kitten.

[canisalbus]

Vasco and Machete are absolutely adorable, your style is so lovely and you draw the softest beds I’ve ever seen in any art ever

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[sskk-manifesto]

Well, that is only if Fitzgerald has an endless stockpile of Q-specific dolls

[alsojnpie]

i want to do art trades but like. terrible doodle version. let me draw you something awful. please draw him like this

hmmmmmm actually i think i just art traded with myself. very good

[thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwalls]

i stood up yesterday in the anzac day ceremony and good grief my legs were SHAKING. like i had to hold on to the chair in front of me to stop myself from falling into the person next to me augh

usually i can just walk and stand fine just sometimes no matter how i stand i find myself putting all my weight on one leg which then ends up making that leg hurt which makes me swap to the next leg and then the cycle continues uhhhhmmm so to sum it all up

sometimes i can’t keep my legs balanced (as in no weight on a certain leg) and walking down stairs/hills without a handrail is a nightmare since my legs shake and feel like they’re about to just stop working yaaay

[levon]

i was telling my therapist today about how it’s kind of impossible to like fully explain my mom situation to people with normal parents like yeah my mom tries to blame every health issue she has on me (namely her previously having cancer) but it’s like one of the least distressing things she does because if anything the transphobia and religious stuff makes me feel worse . but i can’t separate myself from her anytime soon if i want a degree. i think that’s the most annoying thing when i tell people about my family situation and they’re like “well just cut her off” and im like i actually can’t do that if i want to not have 100k of my own debt. i have given up on the idea of having a meaningful relationship with her at this point like just pay for my college and do not speak to me after that.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

talking to a friend who didn't vibe with TTPD and said she can't get over the Matty of it all and the album gives her the ick and she isn't enjoying it and I'm just like... I respect that and you feel what you feel and shouldn't apologize for it... but I'm glad that after the initial 😵‍💫 of it all I was quickly able to appreciate the music for music's sake and the story being told because I find the album beautiful lyrically and sonically and narratively.

[itspileofgoodthings]

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