#those thoughts basicallt are

[theworstcreature]

Guess who’s like not fucking ok at all after tonight’s Loki ep

MAJOR MAJOR LOKI SPOILERS DO NOT CLICK IF YOU HABENT SEEN IM BEGGING YOU

OH MY HOLY CINNAMON TOAST FUCKING FUCK I AM SCREAMING SHAKING CRYING ALSO

MOBIUS MY BELOVED I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE A JETSKI SALESMAN I LOVE HIM SO MUCH SJFJJAHEHFUSUEUHEJDJD

ALSO I think he would be the parent that has the house his kids friend group always choose to stay at.. idk I’m just getting “house that always has the good snacks” vibes

ALSO SYLVIE AND LOKI HAVING THAT CONVO IN THE BAR HE LOVES HIS FRIENDS SO MUCH I LOVE YOUR FRIENDS TOO BBG (and his unofficial husband yes I rEfuse to believe Lokius isn’t canon) IFDKJWJEJKEIWBTHWJ THAT WHOLE SCENE OH MY LORDY LORD HOLY FUCKING JESUS IN A DEEPFRIER

SOMEBODY PUT ME IN A COMA TILL NEXY EPISODE I WILL ACTUALLY NOT SURVIVE

AND THERE WAS SO MICH SPAGETIFICARION I NEED TONKNOW HOW ANS WHU THIS IS HAOPENING TELL ME EXACTLY WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN HAPPENNG

LOKI OMFG MY BABYGIRL HE DOESNT NEED TO HET BRUTAKLT RIPPED OUT OF TIME AT RANDOM ANYMORE!!!1!!1!1!1!1!!!1!!1!1!!1!

ALSO OB OB MY GIRL I LOVE HIM SO MICH HES A LITTLE GUY LOOK AT HIM AND HIS LITTLE SCIFI NOVEL LOOK AT HIM HES SO SPECIAL TO ME I LOVE HIM HES SO BIG BRAIN AND I ASPIRE TO BE LIKE HIM

ANYWAUS MOBIUS US JUST A SINGLE MOTHER AND I LOVE HIM GODNIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

[cheap-jumpscare]

Welcome to Uta's blog population like 2.

helooo I'm Uta or several other names. I go by it/void and many other prns. check my prns.page >here< !!

read this very important thing written by my meowtual please, thanx :D

a lot more detailed info under the cutt ~

DISCLAIMERS ABT ME / BYF ;;

I say slurs (only those I can reclaim!)

I rarely am ever serious!

I can be very sensitive to rejection!

I'm very apathetic in regards to other people; I wish I wasn't!

I can be very harsh or rude on accident!

im basicallt INCAPABLE of processing if/when a joke is taken too far!! :(

Pls tell me if I fuck up i will not know :(

BASIC INFO ;;

diagnosed and medicated ADHD, peer-reviewed as "def autistic" by my autistic little sister and older brother, depression (or at least some of the symptoms)

divorced parents, adopted at birth!

in general there is something fundamentally wrong/silly abt me

i LOVE homestuck, hiveswap, ddlc, genshin, hsr, crk, cats, borzois, drawing, singing, gacha, voice acting, animation, rain world, etc. (hyperfixations r bold and italic like this!!)

i like spiritual stuff (shifting realities, subliminals, etc) and i may reblog stuff like that sometimes <3

i have a bf!!!! @hanapaws is he!! i love my bf so much rahhh!!!!!

my fav color; tie between red, black, n white. pink n yellow are very close shared-second places

im here to be gay and shitpost man

OTHER SOCIALS ;;

spacehey - cheapjumpscare noplace - hiveswap pesterchum - hollowClown spotify - uta ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ tiktok - qualia.automata

DNIS . . .

thin ice ;

anti-endos / don't believe in endo systems, but don't harass or fakeclaim people abt it (i have friends who are endo and they are very cool!!!!!)

post abt politics Regularly (stresses me tf out)

post abt religion at ALL

if you were that one person who told me I was silencing asians by having a cute/pink/"kawaii" aesthetic blog on tumblr in like 2020. yes that was the actual reason. im being so forreal. /silly but also /gen on this being something that actually happened

DNFI (do not fcking interact) ;

anti-endos / don't believe in endo systems, and DO harass or fakeclaim people abt it

pro-contact / anti-recovery towards paraphilias

nsfw/kink/18+ centered blogs (i am a minor :/)

pro-harassment/anti-anti-harassment

doxx people or support those who do

believe/participate in cringe culture

pro 🇮🇱 or otherwise not pro 🇵🇸 (its a genocide mf)

^ post pictures of gore n dead kids in relation to the genoc¡de w/o tagging, censoring, or warning ANYYY of it (the reason i left twt)

im on your dni (respect your own gd dni)

RANDOM ASSORTED NONSENSE I THOUGHT WAS FUN !! ;;

my true zodiac is Pittarius !! [homestuck]

probably a

i tend to fixate on characters/whatever so hard i either Want to be them, believe i Am them, or both.

^ speaking of, at the bottom of this post is a list of stuff am that way about

^^ i should add here that the personality assigned doesnt contribute to this (though it certainly helps if i can go "THEY JUS LIKE ME FRR") i just. fixate so hard i go "mm i should be [whatever]" or "i mustve been [whatever] in a past life :D"

^^^ i am, most of the time, not under one of these episodes (idrk what else to call them but im not distressed rlly so shrug)

i barely ever remember to categorize things but i will remember for this blog i promise

ORGANIZATIONAL TAGS ;;

#shut up uta! - yapping. rambling even. general Posts tag. #definitely not stolen! - reblogs !~ #uta time travels (again!) - queue'd posts.. mostly going to be whatever im currently horrifically nuclear levels of autistic abt #uta; nobody needs to know this - TMI posts; complaining abt periods, personal life, etc. etc. etc. it can and will get weird here #uta hears voices part ??? - askbox....... #uta pls shut up fr this time - LIVEBLOGGING ~ #(not) uta; [ANY-CHARACTER-NAME-HERE] - for when i am Fixating So Hard On A Character That I /Gen Believe I AM Them. Temporary. pls humor me/play along /gen. #uta's sprites - Sometimes I post homestuck / hiveswap sprites! this is the tag for that :3

Characters / Things Uta sometimes IS (not exhaustive) ;;

italicized = more current / more likely to be this than not | bold = even more current | italicized & bold = almost always this

PROJECT SEKAI ; Minori Hanasato, Airi Momoi, Emu Otori, Kanade Yoisaki, Mafuyu Asahina, Ena Shinonome, Mizuki Akiyama VOCALOID / VOCAL SYNTH ; Xi Yi, Hatsune Miku GHOST & PALS ; Tamari [RECKLESS BATTERY BURNS], Say [CHATTERING LACK OF COMMON SENSE], Cakey [APPETITE OF A PEOPLE PLEASER], Teto [PATHOLOGICAL FASCADE] HIVESWAP & HOMESTUCK ; Charun Krojib, Dave Strider / Davesprite, Jade Harley, Karako Pierot, Meulin Leijon, Nepeta Leijon, Tyzias Entykk GENSHIN ; Collei, Fischl, Furina, Hu Tao, Kirara, Lumine, Qiqi, Xingqiu, Yae Miko, Yoimiya COOKIE RUN ; Peach Blossom, Caramel Choux, Linzer, Mozzarella, Affogato, Strawberry Crepe, Cream Puff, Kumiho, Espresso, Vampire, Stardust, Black Pearl, Whipped Cream, Roquefort, Butter Pretzel, Scorpion, Bellflower, Sour Belt, Crowberry, Pizza, Black Garlic, Coffee Candy, Baguette, Gim, S'more, Strawberry Cream, Astronaut, Starch Noodle, Strawberry Stick, Lotus Dragon, Lychee Dragon, Sugar Swan POKEMON [SPECIES] ; Absol [MEGA], Bewear, Blacephalon, Breloom, Carbink, Chatot, Cramorant, Cursola, Darkrai, Dedenne, Delcatty, Delphox, Eevee, Furfrou, Furret [SHINY], Galvantula, Glaceon, Hatterene, Iron Valiant, Jirachi, Kommo-o, Leavanny, Lucario, Lurantis [TOTEM], Luxray, Lycanroc, Maractus, Mareanie, Meowscarada [SHINY], Mew, Milotic, Mimikyu, Mismagius, Mudkip, Nihilego, Pheromosa, Pyukumuku, Raichu [ALOLAN], Rayquaza [SHINY], Sandslash [ALOLAN], Scoliopede, Scorbunny, Serperior, Shaymin, Smoliv, Sneasler, Solgaleo, Sylveon, Tapu Lele, Thievul, Tinkaton, Torracat, Tsareena, Vaporeon, Wooper, Wynaut, Xerneas, Zoroark [SHINY] POKEMON [HUMANS] ; Justy [JELLOAPOCALYPSE DOGS IN LOVE], N, Ingo, Emmet, Roxie, Clemont, Lisia, Lillie, Ilima, Mallow, Acerola, Marnie, Allister, Klara, Sabi, Florian, Penny, Iono, Rika, Ortega, Kieran, Lacey MISC ; wip.... sorrgy :(

Uta's Glorified Kinlist [IN THE KINNIE WAY] ;;

CHARACTERS ; Kanade Yoisaki, Mafuyu Asahina, Ena Shinonome, Mizuki Akiyama, Charun Krojib, Dave Strider, Fischl, Yoimiya, Strawberry Crepe Cookie, Espresso Cookie, Sprigatito, Ingo, Emmet, Iono, March 7th SONGS ; Born2Run [PENELOPE SCOTT], Hammerhead [PENELOPE SCOTT], Sweet Hibiscus Tea [PENELOPE SCOTT], Baxter Ward is Under Fucking Siege [PENELOPE SCOTT], anarchy [EGG], Digital Girl [KIRA], Nobody [MITSKI], Gay Jokes [RIO ROMEO], Mirror Man [JACK STAUBER]

[itsdelicate]

its totally fine that ur busy!! im not lol just in this waiting period for my exam results so i have all this time to send u a whole essay reply lmaonjdsmk. aw :( felt like it just flew by like suddenly its 2023 which is crazy

ahh its so great to have a friend like that!! i dont lmao my friends listen to music that is vv different from my music taste so i just google recs. like im getting back into r&b music cause i had a bit of phase where i was obsessed w it during quarantine and also joni mitchell and elliott smith and i just googled and saw recs on reddit. YES YES YES a ten min version of the great war would be mmmmm perfect

tbh ive never been to any concerts like just little recital sorta stuff but i do really love live music!! wbu? what are the best concerts youve been to? that would really suck if they laughed at u for that omg. ohhh yea i get that like recently ive been in a very speak now songs mood but i listened to it A LOT so now im listening to the new sza album!! ooh how was the musical? ive never heard of it before tbh ijsdmk

wdym by that? like bought? cause i havent actually like gotten a physical copy of an album before (or even like a digitally bought one). i just listen on spotify. but the first album i got into like listened to (and loved) the whole album is prob harry styles' first album!! like i got into one direction during quarantine (weird as hell i know) and all the other boys but i listened to his whole album first and it was everything !!!! wbu what was the first album you got (like bought) or got into?

LMAOSKMDF that is alr more than enough. i do really wanna watch the latest puss in boots movie tho just cause i love puss in boots jdskm

i didnt know there was a life of play omg how was it?? my brothers and my parents loved the movie back then!! ooh thats nice!! havent been to the zoo in a while lol. what's studying animal welfare like? idk anyone who studies it so this is vv cool to me lmao

omggg i really love lover so i dont know how to feel ab this 😭yes!! it has some great songs. okay heres a question that could be a dealbreaker to me if you answer wrong (jkjk lmao) but thoughts on false god? yea i was one of those ppl too sdhcnjk but now i love all that lmao

thats nice!! what was the recipe for? my days gonna be very boring i think lmao ive nothing to do so im prob just gonna be doing online courses and listening to music

now ab the matilda musical: YESSS its literally one of the best htings ive watched in 2022 (havent watched a lot of things tho lmao). omg i'm here is def number one like i CRIED sm at the "dont cry daddy" part djis. one of my fav parts tho is the part in when i grow up where miss honey sings cause it makes me cry and its so very. i just could not. also love my house and still holding my hand (basicallt every scene ever w miss honey she is so special to me <3) and the smell of rebellion (EMMA FREAKING THOMPSON!!!!!!!!) i dont think so actually ive got a lot of shows and movies sitting in my list on nfx waiting to be watched lol so those will be next prob. my friend got me into this reality tv show recently ab rich ppl in dubai called dubai bling and all the drama is so funny so ive been watching that and re-watching queer eye for the fiftieth time lmaodfmk. wbu? any musicals or movies or shows you're excited for?

xxx ur secret santa

omg all the best for your results!! i always find the waiting period so nerve wracking whew i know! it went so fast

yeah it’s fun to get recs!! during covid my friends and i tried to do this month long song challenge from prompts and we all added in songs into a joint playlist and ended up with almost 200 songs that were all over the place it was fun ahdjf ooh r&b is interesting! god yes i need that song to possess me idk

aw but that’s fun! live music is great <3 taylor’s concerts for me! (big surprise i know 😭) are you liking the album? the musical was great!! it’s a jukebox musical so it was really really fun!! shakespeare’s wife doesn’t like that he kills of juliet just because of romeo so she proposes rewriting it so juliet goes on to live her life shdjg

that’s fair! the first cd i ever bought on my own was hannah montana when i was little 💀 a quarantine one direction phase is so valid, did you like harry’s first album? i haven’t heard the whole thing just a few songs!

omg yes i want to watch that too! and the play was really good! the animal puppets were incredible! it’s great!! i study animal welfare and anthrozoology and i love love love it :’) nothing in the world i love more than animals so it’s <3333

shfkgk i’m so sorry 😭 i feel like i’m neutral about false god like i don’t Not like it but i also have to be in a specific mood to listen to it 🤔

it was bahn mi! ooh what online courses?

everything u said!! yes yes!! i want to rewatch the stage musical again hopefully this year 🤞 omg that sounds wild i haven’t heard of it before! aw nice! i’ve seen like three episodes of queer eye it was great idk why i never continued it ahdjf i’m not sure actually!! idek what movies are coming out this year or anything hmm (also have u ever seen taskmaster? it’s my fav hehe)

also i think i’ll find out who you are tomorrow if u revealed yourself so i just wanted to say thank you for all your messages!! i’ve loved talking to you sm it’s made me so happy 🫶🫶🫶

[risingsouls]

[gayregis]

while the saovine event for gwent was appreciated for the featuring of bruxae i have to disagree with the depiction of regis because. we know he would have looked like if e-boys existed in the 70s/80s and were goth

[fenharel-babe]

For Evermore...

Solas x Lavellan.

Solavellan timeee. I was listening to “Evermore” from the new Beauty and The Beast movie and I LOVE IT and I see Solas in it,,,and the movie isn’t ‘new’ but ya know what I mean. Enjoy :)). 

“I was the one who had it all. I was the master of my fate.”

He had it all in his hands. He is the one who controls his fate, controls is actions, his choices, and his heart. But things change. Things always change in life. And Solas learned that once again, but not in the way he thought he would.

He honestly didn’t expect his opinions to change or his views to change, but they did. Everything changed when he met the Herald of Andraste, the chosen on, the savior to everyone, or as he saw her, Bloom Lavellan. 

“I never needed anybody in my life. I learned the truth...too late.”

And he felt things change. Not at once, but slowly. He began to like to be near her, he admired her for caring for everyone, because oh did she care for everyone. A man was a widow and he couldn’t go to his wife’s grave and put flowers, but Bloom offered to do it for him, and Solas didn’t expect her to do it, but she did. She dragged herself up all the way to the grave, all with a smile and happy conversations, and laid the flowers to rest. And when the scouts went missing, she put all her energy into finding them. She spent a few late nights up and he only knew because she told him. There were times when she went to the Rotunda and wanted to hear his stories. She always was out there but when she came to Solas one on one, she was a little anxious, and so was he. He didn’t understand why at first, but he slowly began to understand why. 

He began to fall in love with her. He realized it in many different ways, or he felt like he loved her and pushed it away until he couldn’t anymore. He told her the last story he could tell her one night, and he realized he loved her. Well, not then, but the day after. It’s because she became busy after that day and she still came to him. He was up late at night, painting, and she always came to visit him. She visited all her friends, but she stayed a lot longer with him. And sometimes...she fell asleep on the couch, and when she did he couldn’t help but look at her a lot longer than he should. He just couldn’t get over the way she looked. She was peaceful, her fire was blazing hot, yet she was cool and calm. He would stop painting and find a blanket he would use when he slept, and put it over her body, slowly trying not to wake her. And that’s when he began to believe he loved her. However, he pushed it away and kept going on.

And then when she was injured when closing a rift. She was hit by the demons before that, but closing the rift was the last straw. She passed out as it closed and Solas turned around and saw her hit the ground, and then his heart dropped to his stomach. He knew she wasn’t dead, she was too strong for that, but he still worried. He went to her immediately, all sounds stopping except the sound of his heart beat sky rocketing. When he finally got to her, he picked her up and took her to the nearest camp site, not caring that he was a little rough when he said, “We’re done for that day.” He rushed her back to the camp, almost forgetting about his companions, and he felt so lucky that there were no demons in sight, the rifts wll close because of her hard work. And her heat also comforted him. When she was hot, she was alive. She was always hot, always alive, and fighting for her life, and he hopes she keeps fighting now.

And she did. When they got back to the camp, he poured basicallt all his magic into healing her, and after a few hours of pacing back and forth outside her tent, reading a book (even if he wasn’t really), and eventually sitting in her tent with her, she opened her eyes and the tent got hotter. And he realized he loved her, but pushed it away. Again.

And then when he met her on the balcony and when his lips touched his again, and when she came to the Rotunda before she went to a place without him and gave him a kiss on the cheek, and when she asked him to spend one night in her room, not doing anything but enjoying each other’s presence, and when he joined her and told her stories and listened to her own. It all lead up to him holding her in his arms, she clutching on to his arms, feeling her hands on his bare skin, keeping her cold and happy, and seeing her face looking peaceful and knowing he put it there.

“I love her,” he told himself and he kept repeating it. It sounded weird until it didn’t and he enjoyed loving her. But when he finally remembered his mission, it came crashing down. He was going to destroy the world, which meant he’d destroy her. And his heart ached at the thought, so he held her tight whenever he could, and realized it’s too late. He’s met the love he truly loves...but it’s too late.

“I’ll never shake away the pain. I close my eyes but she’s still there.”

As he watches her turn to everyone to say they’ve won, his heart cracks with each step he takes away, but he turns away from her, he has to. However, he stops and takes one last look at her. He can’t help it. He has to look at her one. More. Time. And he does, but he still walks away with his feet feeling like he’s walking through mud. And when he found his hideout, he instantly made his agents watch her. He couldn’t be there physically, but he will make sure she is safe. And when he sees her in the fade, he wants to see her. He wants to go to her and hold her until it hurts, kiss her until they both are breathless, but he can’t. He won’t give in that easy.

Yet, when he’s not even in the fade, he thinks of her. Whenever he sets his eyes on anything blue, he remembers her bright blue eyes and how her favorite color was blue, and he can’t stop seeing her. But he doesn’t want to. He’d gladly think about her for the rest of his sad life.

“I rage against the trials of love. I curse the fading of the light.”

But he shouldn’t love her. He shouldn’t. He told himself he wouldn’t fall for her, or anyone, but here he was thinking of her whenever he was alone. Because of this, he buried himself in his work. Almost to the point where his own workers got worried for him, but he just told them not to worry. He was trying to get his mind off of something.

Well, someone.

“Though she’s already flown so far beyond my reach, she’s never out of sight.”

She has done so many things. So many things he can be proud of. She has saved many people, defeated Alexius, defeated the demon in the fade, even made it into the fade, saved Celene, made Skyhold her home, and she defeated Corypheus. How could he not be proud of her? She’s always busy and doing work, it’s what his agents tell him, and he may not be there with her, but she’s never out of his sight. He always has people watching on her, making sure she’s safe, and at night he joins her in the fade. When she noticed he was there that one time, she never forgot it. She always calls out to him in the night, but he can’t reply. He can’t give in, he won’t, but he wishes he can. However, just being able to see her makes a tiny spark of happiness light up in his heart.

“Now I know she’ll never leave me. Even as she runs away. She will still torment me, calm me, hurt me, move me...come what may.”

With everything he does, he thinks of what she would say. When she found out he was the Dread Wolf, she didn’t seem afraid of him. She still smiled at him and still told him that she loves him, and he loves her. He couldn’t deny it at this point. It had been two years of aching and longing, and he’s not an idiot. He knows that it’s love. And whenever he gets angry, he remembers when he found his spirit friend and the mages that hurt them. He was angry and was going to kill them, but Bloom grabbed his arm and when he looked at her, he saw a worried look. 

“Solas. Don’t.”

And as he mourned on his own and even now those words echo in his head. She calms him, yet hurts him when he remembers her, and she gives him hope, but he doesn’t like it. She is strong and stubborn, he learned this when he first met her, so he doesn’t expect her to give up. It strives him to hope and to be just like her, even if their desires are separate things.

“Wasting in my lonely tower...waiting by an open door. I’ll fool myself, she’ll walk right in.”

Every night there is something inside of him that wishes the door will open and she will be there. In her clothes she wore when she walked around Skyhold, her hair down and looking a little tangly, and wearing a smile on her face. He knows it will never happen, it never could. If she ever came here, she’d want to kill him, and he sees why, and part of him thinks he would let her. He is a fool to think he wouldn’t love her, a fool to always push it away, and he’s a fool for thinking he would be fine without her.

“And as the long, long nights begin. I’ll think all of that might have been. Waiting here for Evermore.”

And as he looks her in the Fade, and seeing her looking around for him, he thinks of everything that could’ve been. They could be happy, he could help her with the Inquisition, he could’ve told her everything he felt for her. No sliver or half, everything. But now he has to stand here and watch her as she begs for him to come to her, to come home, and how they can fix this.

He has to watch and deal with his choices for all his life. For evermore. 

Alright! That’s it! I hope you liked it. I have a few more fics coming, 2 of them will be sooner because the other is so difficult. Anyways yeah love y’all💙.