#though I can't completely blame it on anyone actually working on the project

[pseudophan]

idk if this is confirmed or if im insane but i feel like dan in his why i quit youtube video was talking about how he felt like there was Dan content and Dan And Phil content and how he felt like he was split between them....i wonder if hes trying both to see what he still likes to do. he had his internet show and now danandphilgamws is back like. i have a feeling he's trying to figure things out rn

i think dan ultimately wants to do his own thing and has a lot of ideas and aspirations, specifically he wants to be a stage comedian like his passion is clearly for live performances and while the comedy bit is still being fine tuned (i'm not saying he's bad, in fact he's kinda good ngl, but he definitely has a way to go if he wants to be Great) the performance part he's got DOWN like say what you want about that man but he ooowwwnnnsss a stage. also he's weirdly great at audience interaction lmao? that was my main takeaway from we're all doomed, both the pre show and the show itself, he deals with heckling like.. AMAZINGLY well. he's genuinely hilarious responding to an audience like i never thought i'd say this a few years ago but i think he might actually have a future in live comedy lmao????

but i also think he.. needs money LOL like he's said many a time he doesn't really love being a full time youtuber, but also he does enjoy making youtube videos! just, you know.. not full time. but while on his own channel making Daniel Howell(tm) videos he puts a lot of pressure on himself, and then if he does a slightly less high pressure series or whatever (dystopia daily) it's relatively well received and the videos are good enough but like.. it's not the traction he wants, nor the traction he needs

ultimately dan knows that if he wants to keep and potentially build an audience online that lies in Dan And Phil. it always has and it always will. and i think for a long time he struggled with that, and as much as people gave him shit for it i completely get it. like, lmao, of COURSE he wants to be recognised for his own abilities and not just the dynamic and chemistry he's got going with... his literal partner. honestly it would be one thing if dnp were just comedy partners because there are a lot of comedy duos on the world who've made it big, but i think there's something about it being him and his full time actual real life boyfriend/life partner that kinda makes it weird. and as much as i love the dnp dynamic i still do get that feeling so much like honestly who can blame him ?? if your entire professional life is just.. your personal life but on camera ? that's weird. it's gotta feel weird and it's definitely unfulfilling for someone as aspirational as dan and i can't blame him at all for it

that being said, dan clearly does really enjoy making videos with phil. which yeah of course he does, he gets to just turn on a camera and talk shit with the guy he talks shit with all day long anyway. and i think what he's now realised is 1. if he wants to keep/build an audience, the dan and phil branding is where it's at and 2. he needs an income while he works on whatever solo projects he's got going on, and dnp makes a loooot of money

basically my point is - dan seems to really enjoy making videos with phil but he knows that's not really a life long career choice. as much as i'd love them to, it's not really an option for them to be playing sims when they're like, sixty. and while phil is relatively chill and seems to just take things as they come, which tbh is probably the healthiest way of doing things, dan is very overthinking and wants to get ahead of everything and also in general just like.. he wants to build a career! he wants to build something on his own and i can't fault him for that at all. dan knows that one day he's gonna need something more than just Dan And Phil if he wants to keep working, and he's laying the groundwork right now to be able to do that

again, though, i don't want anyone to take this as like 'dan is only doing dapg to make money and rebuild a fanbase' because as much as that is definitely a big part of it... just look at the man. in these videos. he's having a great time. and also, as annoying as we are, he does kinda love us. sometimes. maybe. <3

[saintjimmeh]

Might as well put my two cents in. It's early & I have a lot of thoughts rattling around so I apologize if this is kinda rambly.

With everything that's happened, I cannot support Nijisanji/Anycolor as a company anymore. Not after the bullshit they pulled last night. THAT BEING SAID...

I still support the livers, and I still support my oshis even though they were both part of that video. I might get hate for that from both inside and outside of the niji circle and I'm prepared for that. Hell, I made the mistake of going on twitter and seen what Ike and Vox are getting, and I'm sure Elira is getting as well. I'm with everyone else thinking that their statement was scripted and Vox, Ike, and Elira were basically forced into doing it or risk losing their jobs. This just seems... incredibly out of character for them, and it was painfully obvious in their voices that they were very uncomfortable the whole time. Something doesn't add up and I'm positive it's Anycolor hiding behind their talent like the cowards they are.

I really hope people understand that the three of them are in a losing situation right now. They could decide enough is enough and graduate. But like leaving any other job, that's not a decision they can make lightly. Leaving Nijisanji means losing their source of income, leaving behind the hard work they've already put in (and quite possibly LOSING it forever, because I wouldn't put it behind niji to private their channels if they graduated right now) as well as projects they're currently working on, losing a good chunk of the communities they've built up (which unfortunately is going to happen no matter what decision they make)... it can't be an easy decision to make, and while I'm disappointed that they did go along with this I don't entirely blame any of them either. I'm hoping that someday they're in a safe position to leave nijisanji behind and work on their own projects without some shady company throwing them under the bus. As much as it would hurt lose the *characters* of Ike, Vox and Elira... they are, at the end of the day, kind of just that. I'd rather support the actual people behind them in whatever they do.

Anyways that's kind of all, again sorry it was kind of stream of consciousness. Everything hurts rn & I'm just kind of hoping for the best for everyone who has been hurt. And I'm begging all of you to please not harass anyone, fans or livers, Selen/Doki, or anyone who has left the fandom completely, over this situation. Direct your anger at the company where it belongs.

[eddiebrockx]

"Disrupting Canon"

⚠️SPOILERS for Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (primarily the latter). Like serious spoilers. Please don't engage if you don't want any!⚠️

Incoming mini-essay! (TL;DR - Miguel O'Hara as a character has much to say about grief and guilt, and how it can harm people.)

After watching Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, I am filled with thoughts!!! So many that they can't all be contained here, and I'll probably have to write an actually essay later--however, I wanted to share some of my feelings and ideas about Miguel and his role in the story, specifically.

Miguel is obviously an antagonist to Miles throughout the story. And, I would actually argue that he is an antagonist to everyone, including himself. He's cynical, he's controlling, he projects his fears onto everyone, and he is terrified of change. The scene where he tells Miles that he is the "original anomaly" is a obvious display of all of that.

Despite this, Miguel still isn't a villain; he isn't evil, and he isn't doing any of this because of pure malice. Instead, he's doing it out of fear. Because Miguel is also an anomaly (at least, I think so). Miguel has more in common with Miles than he does the other Spiders, which is why I think he blames Miles for so much as the "original anomaly."

We know, as the audience, that Miles shouldn't be blamed for anything that has happened. It is not his fault that the Spot brought over a radioactive spider from Earth-42; it's not his fault that he got bit; it's not his fault that the original Spider-Man dies; it's not his fault that the Spot became the Spot. Any logical person can see that Miles didn't have any control over these situations; so why can't Miguel?

He can't because Miguel believes that Miles will cause and experience exactly what he did. We know that a major part of why Miguel is so uptight is because when he disrupted canon, his entire world disintegrated before his eyes. And, its a logical fear; as he said himself, is it worth saving one person over ending the world? But this is where things get complicated: does "disrupting canon" actually cause the world to end?

Peter B. Parker, for example, has a daughter. Jessica Drew is pregnant. None of the other Spiders seem to have children, so wouldn't these be an example of canon being disrupted? Pavitr's world still seems to be around (I'm assuming), after we saw canon disrupted. Gwen's father LITERALLY quit his job, meaning he didn't die, and therefore also disrupted canon. But...nothing happened to Gwen's Earth, even though she was gone for several months.

And, the cherry on top, if Miles is an anomaly, how come nothing has happened to Earth-1610 and Earth-42? Why did nothing happen when the original Spider-Man died?

All of these things, I would like to add, are also very different to what Miguel did. Miguel abandoned his world for a new one, taking the place of a version of him that died. He was in the wrong world. And this reminded me of a certain antagonist in Into the Spider-Verse: King Pin.

Throughout the entire movie, King Pin desperately tried to bring another version of his family into his world. In the end he failed, whereas Miguel succeeded. Of course there are major differences, still. King Pin was entirely selfish and didn't care what consequences came with getting his family back, whereas Miguel thought he wasn't hurting anyone. But Miguel still managed to hurt people, and that's what seems to linger for him. The guilt and grief that he caused the destruction of an entire Earth.

And he can't see past it. Despite the many examples we see throughout the movie that go against what he believes, he can't see beyond his own experience. And if he were to admit that Miles could be correct, his understanding of what happened to himself has to be completely reevaluated. All of that grief that he has suppressed, all of the work he's done to "fix" things; all of that changes.

This is what makes Miguel so compelling to me. I don't think what he said to Miles was warranted, but I can understand where he comes from. The other Spiders can too, because a lot of them have already experienced their canon events. It's what makes this conflict so complicated, so interesting.

Of course, we can't be 100% sure about everything until we see what happens in the third film, but it's all interesting nonetheless.

Ultimately, all I want to say is that I love this series, and I can't wait to see where it takes us next!

[whole-bunch-of-hcs]

Family HCs

I'm having Family Angst atm so we're writing about Coop and Remer's families (or rather the versions of their families I invented to project Issues onto lmao)

Coop

He seems 'parents are divorced' to me

His dad is nominally around but in actuality he only shows up on the odd holiday or birthday to ruin everyone's day and then split again

Once or twice he'll even stick around for a full day to a week, promising "this time it's for good, I'm gonna do it right Joey I promise." But it never lasts.

And his mom raised him with the help of his grandparents and an aunt/uncle so he was hardly starved for love or attention right?

And yet he still felt painfully lost growing up

Having even one person just completely Not Care about your existence when you're that young and vulnerable really fucks with you.

He loves his mom, his grandparents are cool and all (though he's definitely had his issues with all of them at some point). He routinely decides he hates his dad, he misses his dad, his dad was doing his best and he should be a little more forgiving, nevermind his dad is a piece of shit

Remer has been a big help in all this through the years to a point that Coop can't imagine having done this without him, and can't imagine anyone else knowing all of it.

Coop and his grandfather were really close growing up. They watched games together and all that.

Coop probably knows how to do small 'grandma task' type things like mend a small rip or something.

Just in general, big 'my grandparents were an important part of my childhood' vibes

Once when his dad was around, he took Coop and Remer to the game where he caught that ball and started the whole thing.

Coop's mom is a terrible cook. That's why that psyche-out didn't work, it's just kinda true and he knows it. Insult his uncle's cooking on the other hand? Excuse me? That man was the only reason he didn't live off of McDonald's growing up, you take that shit back

As an adult, Coop talks to his mom a lot and goes home for alternating holidays etc. His dad sometimes shows up to ask for money (especially now that he's a sports star) but other than that... they don't talk much.

Remer

His parents are NOT divorced. But tbh they should be.

His mom's not super loud or controlling or anything but she IS hard to get along with. She pretty much only likes Remer.

His dad's more silent about his loathing of all other people (except Remer) but it's definitely there.

Basically his parents like him a whole lot but more or less nothing and no one else which put a lot of pressure on Remer to earn his 'only good person' title but other than that he's fine.

He hates how they can't be in the same room for more than five minutes without his mother deciding not to talk to anyone anymore and his dad blaming random faults on her but whatever. At least they both exist.

He lived like a child of divorce: only hanging out with one of them at a time, constantly reassuring them he didn't love the other more, etc. Only they were 'together.'

He wasn't really in conflict with either of them but it was still a pretty tense environment so he usually just hung out on his own.

He doesn't want to get married because he's only ever seen it work out with one of them splitting randomly or them both hating each other.

His parents are both only children and his dad's parents hate his mom and his mom's parents hate his dad's parents so his family always felt even smaller than it was because none of them could ever be in the same room together.

His mom also probably hated all his girlfriends. (Also I have this hc that Coop's dad slept with one of Coop or Remer's gfs at one point shortly after Baseketball took off and it was a whole ordeal and almost caused a scandal)

His dad hates Coop and it drives Remer nuts. Like the only real fight he ever has with his dad is the 'what is your issue with Coop' fight.

There were a lot of times when Remer was like 'oh this is gonna be it for sure they're totally done' but they just didn't get divorced or even separate for more than like a week and he was losing it

As an adult he literally could not care less. He sees them Enough and that's as far as that line of thinking goes.

[yamayuandadu]

How high are the chances that Ōtakemaru (大嶽丸) will appear in the Touhou Project? He is one of the original three greatest yokai in Japan. Kishin (鬼神) has already been introduced in the Wild and Horned Hermit manga, with Suiki (水鬼) as one of them, though I also hope for more of Fujiawara Chikata's Onis in the series.

I don’t have any uncles or other relatives customarily said to relay such info working for Team Shanghai Alice so I couldn’t in good faith claim I have any real idea what are the odds that ZUN will base a character on him. As for whether I think it would work, you can find out under the cut.

Before Urumi no oni actually shown in the games was based on anyone other than Shuten Dōji’s underlings but it seems safe to say nothing’s off limits now, between her and Zanmu, whose counterpart wasn’t even regarded as an oni (at best you could make a case for tengu since Razan Hayashi considered his Buddhist opponents tengu and this category sort of kind of includes Zanmu since he’s mentioned in one of his tirades against Tenkai).

ZUN’s definition of kishin is basically made up, so I am not sure if it has any impact on who might plausibly show up. There is a real term for oni and oni-adjacent figures shown in scenes of hell, kisotsu (鬼卒) or gokusotsu (獄卒), but I don’t really see much overlap in use with kishin, which is ultimately a label I’ve actually mostly seen in onmyōdō context. Also, the concept of “three greatest yokai” is an entirely modern invention. On top of that, Kazuhiko Komatsu coined it entirely based on the fact that the three stories whose antagonists he refers to with this moniker end with their remains placed in the treasure house of Uji. I’m not sure where the similar grouping with Sutoku listed instead of Ōtakemaru alongside Tamamo no Mae and Shuten Dōji originates, but I find it to be more representative, both because it makes the group into a genuine quintessence of all major medieval fears, and because there is a solid case to be made that these three are the big names with the most reinterpretations.  I have nothing against Ōtakemaru, but his historical popularity seems more limited. He’s somewhere between Kidōmaru and completely z listers like idk. Kugamimi no Mikasa in terms of notoriety and I feel like you could make a case for the likes of Zegaibō, Tarōbō or even Tesso over him as “greatest yokai” and whatnot.

Perhaps an argument can be made that Ōtakemaru’s relative lack of actual notoriety makes him more suitable for Touhou. That’s a point I can’t refute. However, in practical terms, I am not sure what a character based on him would offer that Suika couldn’t do better - all that sets him apart from just being a budget Shuten Dōji is the location he lived in and his opponent, and neither of these would really matter in Touhou most likely. Tbh I’m not even sure if there’s any real benefit to going with Ōtakemaru over Suzuka Gozen, frankly. Not even being the character with most potential in own story seems like a problem.

As far as other oni go, I’m not sure if I’d go with Fujiwara no Chikata’s minions either, they are pretty bland themselves; they work well in Megaten but that’s about it. Not like Suiki is a character in the proper sense in Touhou - I’ve seen people not even realizing this is a given name and I can't blame them. As far as oni who would be fun to see go, Momiji instantly comes to mind (the story is even set in the right province lol), but there are many good candidates. Off the top of my head: the oni Ki no Haseo encountered (I feel like you could do a lot with the body parts patchwork woman from that story. Dr. Frankenstein themed oni?), the oni of Rashomon version from the Minamoto no Hiromasa legend which makes him a reincarnation of a master craftsman from India, or Abe no Nakamaro (my personal favorite, I have a character based on him).

[yan-sideblog]

Strike one? Literally everything Y/N told him about their ex before he even met the guy.

Joseph knew they were the type to pretend they were ok and that everything was fine. So for them to get emotional when telling him how Caleb acted he knew it was bad. From destroying things around them it futs of rage, setting unrealistic expectations, being completely selfish and belittling their interests. Just thinking about it makes him wanna smah up his office.

"Can't leave evidence i was in here though. Now where has he hidden his stash?"

Strike two? Showing up at their apartment.

Now just showing up was ebough to make Joseph mad, he's just glad he answered the door and the guy left before Y/N got ot of the shower. Though he did feel a little smug at how obvious it was that Jo and them had a very intimate night. Though his previous annoyance turned into genuine worry when Y/N told him he shouldn't know where they lived.

"Yeah i broke up with him twords the end of freshman year. I didn't move in here until right before sophomore year started.".

"Fucking stalker probably asked around to find out where they lived. And that's why I'm putting powdered drain cleaner in his coke."

Strike three? Showing up when the group was hanging out.

Now he didn't actually know about this one until the day after. Thankfully Jorge intercepted and told the guy to fuck off without anyone noticing. Still this just ramped up his concern and extreme hatred of the man.

"There it is. What kind of moron hides his drugs in the top drawer of his desk at work?"

Strike four? Y/N having a breakdown over remembering something he did.

Did Caleb do anything? No. Is it still his fault? Yes. Y/N had just been reminiscing with an old college buddy when she brought up one memory in particular. Unbeknownst to her that memory came not long after Caleb threw a massive rage fit and destroyed one of their projects.

Once they hung up they had an anxiety attack and started bawling in the kitchen. It took them ages to calm down and they were utterly exhausted by the end of it. Remembering how they blamed themself broke his heart.

"Only person to blame is this jackass. Both for everything with Y/N & whatever this does to him."

Strike five? Showing up on set.

Once again he didn't know this happened until after abd he's so mad at himself. Apparently he approached them when Y/N popped outside for a break during filming. They were freaked out but luckily Kimmy was hot on their heels and started raising cane. Which also drew the attention on Jorge & Gene, the former scaring the guy off.

The whole ordeal left Y/N frazzled and embarrassed, who wouldn't be over their ex showing up at their work?

"And if you survive this I've no doubt Gene is gonna follow through on his threat of firing your ass."

Once he was sure his work was done he carefully snuck out of his office to head back twords the set qhere he belonged. Anyone he passed on the way would be met with a smile and warm hello leaving them none the wiser.

After all who would ever suspect Joseph of all people of doing something like attempting to kill or maim a man? He's such a nice fella.

[showroomcertifiedzine]

hi! though i adore the idea of an animatronics themed zine, i worry that you might face legal action by aaron fetcher, who as we all know is notoriously protective of the rae, even with games like rockafire replay that don't even profit monentarily, or even cec corp themselves, considering they didn't hesitate to send a cease and desist letter to the person who made reel to real. this zine is a really good idea, don't get me wrong, and id love to contribute, but the two biggest franchises have people who won't hesitate to strike something like this down, aaron fetcher especially, which makes me hesitant to join or watch the project too closely. hope this doesn't come off as mean or dismissive, just from a genuine place of worry

Hi! This is something I've considered already and TL;DR I can assure you that from a legal standpoint this is completely fine. The long answer:

Aaron never actually C+D'd Replay or issued a takedown on it, I've spoken to 64th and he confirmed to me Aaron literally just yelled at him until he gave up on the game. A lot of what happened with RR is because Aaron at the time had plans to make his own sim (which ofc fell through but y'know at the time) and he didn't want anyone else overshadowing his. His general stance on fan creations seems to be anything is fine as long as there's no profit made from it– and while our zine will cost money, it's for-charity, meaning no one working on it actually makes any money from it (honestly if anything I expect to have a bit of a hole in my wallet after this lol).

As for CEC, their stance seems to be about the same as Aaron's when it comes to fan works (see Reel to Real) – and they're also kinda a big company with way more important stuff on their radar than this. Similarly goes for Disney and their animatronics. Almost anything more obscure than these don't have any copyrights on their characters anymore (even some more well known stuff like Gulliver's HLB and Hannah Banana aren't owned by Aaron).

I understand the concern completely! Part of my job as the person behind this project is to research this stuff and at the very worst case scenario, take the blame and pick up the slack if any of these entities do happen to get upset about the zine. I can't claim to know absolutely everything about copyright law, but I am quite confident we've covered our tracks here.

I know I can't singlehandedly convince you (or anyone else with this concern) to apply, but I hope I can at least quell some anxiety!

[scoopsgf]

Literally though like anyone who hates on Jess and says he's boring, selfish, has no excuse for his behavior but then goes on to excuse characters like Logan or even DEAN for the way they behave around Rory throughout their relationship it's like, always obvious to me that they truly don't know wtf they're even saying most of the time. Like you can find a way to excuse Logan purely bc his father is shitty but you can't find it in you to understand why Jess is the way that he is when he had barely any parental figure as well as money? There's just zero reasoning for it beyond "well, I find this guy hot and I don't find that one hot", that's it. I'd be fine with it if people just were honest about it, and didn't just make up dumb bs about why Jess is the devil incarnate vs Logan the saintly Hamburger when Jess's behavior for the most part is just him being a kid who didn't grow up in a stable household in EVERY way.

LOGAN THE SAINTLY HAMBURGER babe… babe i love you i laughed out loud. but truly it’s so hypocritical and the complete lack of critical thinking skills is super obvious in shitty takes like that. everyone can have their fav and support them and whatever, but at least acknowledge when they’re genuinely a piece of crap human being? like, i can do that. jess was so wrong for the way he handled a lot of stuff in his and rory’s relationship, but unlike the other love interests there are reasons he sucked at communicating, reasons he shoved his emotions down, reasons he was insecure, reasons he prioritized work over school and (debatably) rory. dean has absolutely no excuse for emotionally, mentally, and verbally abusing rory over and over again, not to mention coercing her into sleeping with him. he made her afraid of him, he had her on edge and questioning/doubting herself constantly, he scared her. he was a horrible first boyfriend and a horrible guy for her to have had her first time with. i think most of the fandom can actually agree on that though, so it’s not really a hot take. logan, on the other hand, has way more people excusing his BS because it’s more subtle, because he’s more charming and suave, and because he’s rich and they’re projecting. he doesn’t have a great relationship with his dad and that sucks! and it did feed into the way he behaved sometimes, but when I really look at logan objectively all i see is someone who’s irresponsible, who refuses to take accountability for their mistakes and is determined to push the blame onto others, who acts way too immature for his age and seems to take pleasure in humiliating others (the stunt with rory in her classroom is a great example of this), who isn’t aware of his own privilege and abuses it to a point that’s actually kind of gross (sinking his father’s yacht, barely trying in his classes at yale/not contributing to the paper even though he’s able to attend an ivy league school), and who just… doesn’t understand rory at all. jess undoubtedly messed up a lot the first go around, but the difference is that he actually made an effort to better himself. he owned up to his mistakes, he changed his behavior, he matured, he made something of himself just like rory believed he would, and he saw rory and loved her unconditionally, even with her faults. we see the opposite with logan in the revival—he’s still up to his same old crap, he’s willing to put rory in the uncomfortable situation of being the “other woman” (and therefore doesn’t value her or respect her at all); he cheats on his fiancé and lies to just about everyone in his life, he’s unreliable and smarmy and just… idk, he grosses me out, but that’s def more of a personal reaction than a universal one. anyway, tl;dr: jess was a messy teenage kid when he dated rory for the first time, but he shaped up and became more right for rory than any of her other love interests (and even when they were teenagers he was still soulmate material, he just needed to wisen up and gain some self-confidence).

[rayan12sworld]

The fanfics, we all want to tell lan xichen that wei ying isn't a mistake

Like how can wei ying be your brother's mistake when your brother didn't even confessed his feelings untill the very ending in wei ying's life

And it was right after his shijie death

Enough!

By:Jeeny271196

Summary:

Wei WuXian had enough of them blaming him for everything. Or say Wei WuXian snapped out!

Wei WuXian reacted differently after Lan Xichen blaming him for Lan Wangji's suffering at guangying temple. Which changed lot of things.

Chapter:5/?

Words:12,484

Status:ongoing

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💙Wei Ying Was Not A "MISTAKE"

By:Jeeny271196

Summary:

Most of FF shows how pitiful Lan XiChen is,

Showing that he was the biggest WanXian Shipper, A good brother, how kind he was, etc etc.

Deliberately ignoring his flaws.

The mistakes committed by him, knowingly or unknowingly.

This FF is short of Lan XiChen and Lan Sect Critical.

Let Lan WangJi SpeakUp for Once.

Chapter :1/1

Words:16,636

Status:Completed

I'm sorry, I forgot, this is no more Lan An's Lan Sect. there is a new tradition in this sect. 'Spouse does not count as part of the family.' First, my mother never counted as family and now my own spouse." They both stare at wangji as though they saw a ghost, Lan Qiren's face went red "Wangji!!!" he shouted. Lan Wanji stare indifferently at Lan Qiren, "not today Uncle! I kept silent for my whole life. Today is my day to speak. By the way, Shouting is forbidden, But again if Grandmaster Lan Shouts, throw things at the guest disciple, has Prejudice toward a dead woman, has presumption towards the very same woman's son who was an orphan at the mare age of four, it's completely alright. But if my Wei Ying Laughs loudly and plays some harmless, childish pranks. he commits a grave crime" "Hypocrites" Lan Qiren was struck dumb, unable to speak anything.

~~~

"WangJi, don't be cruel to your brother. He is already suffering." "I'm doing the same what he did to my Wei Ying." Wangji told with indifference.

~~~

I Want You to Look In my Eyes Sect Leader Lan!" Lan XiChen looks at him. In his bloodshot eyes. Lan WangJi continue again looking straight into his eyes, "People call me Hanguang-Jun, Light Bearer. That means I do not have a light of my own. Just like Moon Depends on Sun for its shine, I depend on Wei Ying For Light." "Such a Pure soul, such selfless and Righteous being, who fought till the end, who walked in the fire to do the right thing. Who did not draw himself in grudges and hatred, who is Innocent just like a child, who doesn't have any envy towards anyone, who is actually free from worldly affairs. Only Knowing that such a person exists somewhere is an achievement in life." "I must have performed so many good deeds in my previous lives, that I got a chance to fall in love with such a person" "A Person whom I referrer Heaven's gift to me, you dare to call him My mistake??"

~~

He took out the jade token, "I defect myself from gusu lan. I finally took the hint that we are unwanted here." Lan Qiren was horrified, "WangJi you are not thinking properly. This is your home. Who said you are unwanted?" "Wall of your sect said we are unwanted. Do not interact with my family." "We have suffered enough. My husband still can't sleep at night because of nightmares. From the age of four, he never got home. I thought I will make cloud recesses his home. I was wrong. Now I will build a home for him on my own. He sacrificed enough for the cultivation world who never acknowledge his sacrifices. Now it is time to live for each other." He looks at them for the last time, "One Last Advice, stop being a hypocrite, you used all inventions of Wei Ying, and shamelessly wrote on the wall do not interact with him. If you hate him that much why not discard all his inventions, all his research regarding resentful beings??" "Remember, I'm not Qigheng-Jun, I will not Confine my spouse nor myself. I will burn down this whole place if you dare to harm him physically or emotionally. I am not as forgiving as Wei Ying nor I'm selfless like him. I will not think twice before firing this whole world to save Wei Ying. Once I failed, not again, never again."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

💠💙When has silence saved anyone?

By:Vrishchika

Summary:

Wei Wuxian accidentally lets it slip that Lan Xichen called him Lan Wangji's only mistake. Neither his husband nor his son are happy about it.

Chapter:1/1

Words:6,051

Status:completed

Wei Ying hesitates and presses a kiss to his cheek in silent apology. His voice is low and blank as he recounts the remainder of the conversation, "The way he looked and talked to you when he saved you, even someone who was blind or deaf could perceive his feelings. That was why my uncle was so -. Wangji was a model for the disciples when he was young, and a prominent cultivator when he grew up. He had been honest, righteous, and immaculate—you were the only mistake he made." Wangji's fingers dig into Wei Ying's arms with bruising strength. "And you say you do not know. After you returned, how did you pester him and confess to him? Every night, you had to… And you say you do not know? If you did not know, why did you do such things?" Wei Ying huffs a laugh, "I really wanted to go back in time to kill myself-" Wangji freezes. "Really, your brother set me straight. Without him, who knows-" "Be silent." Wei Ying stills, turning to him with concerned eyes. Wangji's thoughts roar like fire from one edge of his mind to another, eliminating all measures of restraint. He doesn't know the right words, the proper method to express his fury and disgust. Wei Ying knows him well now and remains silent, just pressing light kisses to his chest, his hand rubbing Wangji's arm soothingly. "Which is why you were so insistent on declaring yourself immediately," Wangji observes. He cherishes the words Wei Ying spoke back then but… thinking about what his husband had to endure to reach his resolve is unbearable. Wangji had been willing to be patient. He was content to wait until Wei Ying understood his own heart. Wei Ying deserved gentleness. Xiongzhang had, again, decided to meddle where his interference had been unnecessary. Selfish. So selfish. His brother forced that realization through pain. He had trapped Wei Ying, broken him down, and blamed him for the audacity of not returning Wangji's feelings immediately. He had implied that Wei Ying was inferior, that he was undeserving, that he was Wangji's mistake. Wangji can't bear the thought. He curls around Wei Ying and feels the agony of it tear his heart apart. Their love, the most noble emotion Wangji has ever felt, was declared a mistake. His heart, his very life, the freedom that he breathes every day, the warmth that sinks deep into his bones, the love in precious grey eyes, the heat that he burrows into every night… All a mistake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

💠💙break

By:justdoityoufucker (orphan_account)

Summary:

Wen Ning doesn’t hear everything, not at first. He can tell that Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao are speaking, within the temple complex, but he cannot get the specifics of what the men are saying until he presses himself closer to the rear walls.

-

Or, Wen Ning listens in.

Chapter:1/1

Words:3,535

Status:completed

[mewatchingstuff]

Honestly this is such a look at these particular characters during this episode. They basically let their inner self out under this tremendous stress.

Carmy, since we met him, has been under the constant threat of a breakdown. He tries his best to keep cool when shit just falls apart around him. If we look at his nightmare with Chef Joel McHale, it's pretty clear that Carmy doesn't want to be that person. Screaming, telling, and degrading his staff when shit hits the fan. But that's exactly what happens in episode 7 when he's finally finally put in a position he couldn't fully control. Carmy let his nightmare self take over.

Richie. Well, Richie is strange because while he's annoying and gets in everyone's (including his own) way, he does truly want to help even when he can't do shit. That's exactly what he does during 7. He's still being his loud and obnoxious self but at a lower level because he needs to focus on how to help. He tries to manage the front but follows Carmy's kitchen commands dutifully - until the whole Syd thing - even though he really doesn't know how to do much of any of the kitchen stuff anymore. But Richie still tries to be helpful in a tough spot.

Marcus deserved to get his ass beat. I love him but he should've gotten jumped for that shit. The whole kitchen is going to hell and he's still working on the doughnut both Syd and Carmy told him to put on hold earlier in the episode. I get his hyper fixation was based on his desires to grow as a pastry chef and I get his devastation at Carmy destroying his breakthrough doughnut but also Marcus deserved to get beat the fuck down. Like Syd, he left immediately after getting called out. I didn't get his indignation outside of his doughnut getting smashed and him getting yelled at. I feel like Marcus always knew better out of everyone. Like Marcus was raised right and was respectful. I understand his anger with being treated unkindly but I don't understand why he thought he didn't need to also apologize? It's weird.

Syd. Beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, and talented Syd. She fucked up sooooo bad. Like genuinely the worst fuck up in the entire show (not made by Mikey) and she bailed on everyone. Well, first she imploded then she bailed. Syd messed up, couldn't step up, forced her frustration on Richie, accidentally (?) stabbed him, and then QUIT 2 minutes later while literally saying "this isn't on me" THE ABSOLUTE HEIGHT OF COMEDY!

I love Syd so much and this made me love her more because what a piece of shit she was this episode and she honestly can't blame anyone else (but does so anyway). Carmy was out of line for yelling, but Syd still deserved that smoke for screwing up and then not taking a bigger initiative to maintain the situation. Carmy told her to get out of his space and she was like "no wait let me do this thing that's not actually helping that you just said was not actually helping" GURL.

And Richie? Satisfying and entertaining but completely uncalled for (this episode). Richie was doing what Carmy told him to do and Syd took that moment to unleash her rage at a bystander. Syd doesn't even know why she did it! It was arrogance and straight projection on her part. Projecting her anger/rage/frustration/embarrassment of her mistake. Then she quit and blamed Carmy. The unmitigated gall! I love it.

[xennariel]

I'm feeling shitty and I'm in an awful mood today.

Feeling very overwhelmed because Seasonal Depression, but also my candles didn't sell at this last show I did and I'm out like 200 bucks because I'm in the show this week too and I have a bunch of candles to make by tomorrow night so I can try and stock different things to see if that sells. But Mother, of course, gets mad when she comes home. For stupid shit too. She asked me to look up replacements for mayo in recipes, and there's literally nothing that my husband will eat, it said like yogurt or sour cream. He doesn't like any of those. So of course she doesn't believe me and says "something Logan will like" in a tone that made it sound as if I didn't think of that and that I'm stupid. (She speaks to me like that all the time though and sometimes I just can't ignore it.) Like, oh gee, you think? Of fucking course I know that.

So I bring in the groceries from her car and start putting them away and she's like "what did you just put outside" and I was like "the drink things" that she literally watched me walk out with. And then she's like "well I work all day and can't remember or notice every little thing" but any time anyone else forgets anything we need to "go see a doctor." That was also a jab at how she thinks she's the only one that does any work ever because my father and I work from home.

Then she proceeds to go off like "no one ever does anything for me, but I have to do everything for everyone" and when I said we do a ton for her, she went off on a tirade about how I never cook dinner (I make dinner 99% of the time, she happens to be cooking today because she said she would), I never do her laundry for her (because I'm supposed to think of her and do stuff for her before anything else I guess), how we all do whatever we want while she "never" gets to do stuff for herself. She has no self awareness and projects so hard on everyone else that she's delusional. She has this mindset of like "if people aren't working from the moment they wake up until midnight every day, those people are not doing anything ever and are lazy and selfish." She's literally said shit to that extent numerous times. I am so fucking fed up with it. and then before I went back downstairs to finish making candles I need done for tomorrow (I have like a shit ton to do because I had to do too much other crap yesterday and today), she says "just because you're in a bad mood, you have to put everyone else in one too" like she doesn't ever do that and I told her she does that too and she got angry and I was like "oh I forgot, you're perfect" and she yelled "You know what, I AM perfect"

So there's my mother, everyone. A classic, every day situation where everyone has to be happy and wait on her hand and foot or she gets angry and whines like a fucking toddler. Her tantrums are exhausting. And then she says I need help with my stress and anxiety and it's like...I know exactly what will help me with that, but the woman won't move out.

I used to think it was me, but since I started taking meds that actually help me, I've learned that she's just irrational. I'm convinced she wants to be miserable and complain all the time. She's always looking for something to yell about. Always blames others before being accountable for her own shit.

I've spent most of my life catering to this woman, trying to make her proud of me, but I realize now that I've spent way too long doing things for an ungrateful person who sees the one wrong thing someone did out of 100 good things and focuses on that, completely disregarding all the good things.

If you have someone like that in your life, just get away if you can. Get far away.

[sl-nametrains]

🚨 Announcement 🚨

Hello, everyone! This is Mod Mizu 💧, the founding organizer of the Massive UtaPri SL Name Trains Project. I probably should have done this sooner but life's been very busy and I apologize, but…

TL;DR - Our group is doing away with sending invites via DMs.

The explanation will be under the readmore!

The link to the twitter thread.

To be honest, we've virtually stopped sending invites since the 11th Rotation has started and while some of us MIGHT still do it in the future (since not only the staff but the participants are welcome to invite people in), we are trying to avoid major staff burnout…

Anyway, storytime! Not everyone knows this but I originally intended to complete just one rotation to give the stans of all idols a chance to join a name train where they are not required to tier high. The idea was brought about by a group of Natsuki stans who can't play much.

Needless to say, the main point of this project is to let anyone who's interested in joining a name train (that used to be exclusively for the top tiering players) experience it. Everyone's welcome, even if they end up in T6 or T7; as long as they have points, they can join!

For this, I and a few other organizers started DMing and replying to tiering threads; communicating with known stans of the event idol EVERY event. As the head, and probably the most proactive inviter, I'd sometimes send around 20 invites per event for moots and non-moots alike.

I generally went for the top 100 then for my friends up to T3 if we're getting desperate for numbers. It was mostly a fun experience! I got to meet a lot of new people who appreciate the idea and some of them have even become regular participants regardless of who they stan. TY

However, it's also true that personal invites can get super tiring… I understand that for some (potential) participants, receiving invites is like being pressured to join while for the staff, it actually hurts getting rejected, ignored, or forgotten (esp. by very busy ones).

It was also a challenge for us to reach out to the top rankers who don't have social media accounts or are on platforms we don't use (e.g. Weibo; and we only started using IG after some of our staff who are active there branched out). Thus, we had no choice but to give up on them…

So, we've ultimately decided to let people join of their free will instead. While we'd love to make new participants happier by being personally invited as some older ones have experienced (and believe me, we couldn't be happier to know that they appreciated it), we believe that the project is now more exposed to the public as we've branched out to other social media platforms (Tumblr, Instagram, and Facebook). Our staff has been working hard organizing, brainstorming, coordinating with a huge number of participants, and editing beautifully~

And…we'd rather let them focus on those tasks than possibly make them slowly lose motivation over a few invites that won't work (we don't blame anyone though; at times Twitter even hides our DMs under "Message Requests"). Yes, DMing is simple but maybe not on a large scale.

Oh, and we'd like to clarify that we've never intended to disrupt traditional name trains (by the top 10 or so). In fact, we've coexisted with some of them before! If a participant declined our invite because they were in a traditonal one, it was OK. If they joined both, better!

Our point is, until further notice, we're not going anywhere! As long as the game is running and people are interested in doing massive name trains with us, we'll be here at every event, welcoming anyone who wants to join us once or twice or anytime at all! Just no invites now…

Thank you very much for understanding and we're looking forward to having more name trains with everyone~ Please do know that we appreciate all the support we've received, no matter how little!

~Mod Mizu 💧

[serenityseventeen]

Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before

The Eighth Letter

----------------

To: Xu Minghao

From: Y/N

Dear Minghao,

I just want to thank you for being my friend despite my awkward confession, even if this current friendship might not last long. Actually, I don't think it will.

I'll be honest here since I didn't tell you this yet.

I spent a few years away from love. My high school years had so many different love stories and none of them exactly had a happy ending. They were all bittersweet endings and even the love story with you is a bit bittersweet.

I guess I misinterpreted your actions. I'm not mad or extremely sad that you rejected me, I feel like that put me in my place. Now that I think about it, maybe we weren't meant to be lovers. So, I don't want to drift away from you just because you rejected my confession. I'm not going to love you like that anymore, I want to keep you as a true friend.

I hope you won't feel awkward around me. I can already feel the awkward air but I wish for it to fade quickly. Let's not stop being friends. I'll stop loving you though. I hope you won't think of me differently now that I've confessed. I feel like you would pretend that it's fine but inside, the awkwardness only grows.

As I'm writing this letter, the fate of us is still being determined. Even I don't know what we are going to become. If the ending for us is unhappy and we decide to stop being friends... Well, I would blame myself for it. I would be losing a friend that I adored.

MinghaoI won't ever talk about my confession again so I'm writing this.

, you're a really attractive guy. I'm sure that anyone would fall for you if they got to know you. You're fashionable, fun, kind, warm-hearted, and also a great therapist, haha. You give me the best advice and always listen to my problems whenever I need to let them out. You always encourage me to speak up.

Remember that one time when I was getting yelled at by the professor over a misunderstanding? I was just standing there like a complete idiot, listening to the professor's words of criticism when you stood up and said, “Professor, it wasn't Y/N's fault. If you looked closely, you would have seen that the dress already had holes in it from the beginning. It was a part of the design. As a fashion professor, how could you overlook that?”

Your expression was so serious and you completely cornered the professor. I feel kind of bad talking about the professor like this but I just want to praise you. The professor apologized after class but I knew he was unwilling to admit his mistake.

When you stood up for me for the first time, you left such an admirable first impression. I wanted to get to know you immediately! You were so cool speaking straightforwardly like that and not hesitantly speaking your mind and standing up for me. I still admire you.

Minghao, honestly, I don't think we'll be okay.

The words still kind of hurt me. Whenever I see you, I think back on those words you said to me.

Since I was just a friend that confessed, I don't think you would remember your response to my confession, so let me remind you; not in a bad way. Since this is a keepsake letter, I just want to remind myself.

I think you and I were in front of an art museum together. You invited me along that bright, sunny morning, and of course, after realizing my feelings, I couldn't deny your offer. I was excited.

I'm sure you'll never know my side of the story so I'll tell you everything that happened that day and why it leaves a small scar in my chest. I'm not blaming you for it, I'm blaming myself. Minghao, it's all my fault.

Honestly, I was too expectant. Gosh... I was way too ahead of myself that day. Our friendly hangout in my head was a date.

After you invited me and told me that you'd come to pick me up in 30 minutes, I rolled out of my college dormitory bed and rushed everything. I did my hair, makeup, and tried to dress prettily for you.

I did my best in that short amount of time but the only thing you complimented was my outfit. Sure, I was happy, but also disappointed. I was bummed because I didn't even have a chance to breathe, meanwhile, you were looking as fashionable as ever with almost no effort.

The museum was fun. I always had a knack for art so everything was admirable and lovely. What made it better was that I was able to spend that time with you. We shared our thoughts with each other but to me, you looked way too serious. I should have gotten the hint then that you didn't feel the same way about me as I did toward you.

Suddenly, this lump started forming on my chest and I just felt like I should get it off. I didn't want to hold back anymore so after walking around the art museum, the words just slipped out of my mouth.

Then you went silent while staring at me.

“I'm sorry.”

I said it was fine then because I thought I was really fine with the rejection. But just a bit after, I realized that I couldn't ride in the same car as you. I wouldn't be able to. Everything came flooding back into my brain, the memories of us that I thought were memorable. That's why I told you to leave first. I'm sure you knew that we both were uncomfortable.

After you left, I just sort of... reminisced our sweet moments that seemed romantic enough to make us more than friends. I did that while taking a walk.

I especially remembered the days when we went shopping, worked together after courses and talked about our days. Even these things that seem so small held so many memorable things to me, including moments that made my heart pound and race.

Since you rejected me, friend-zoning me, I can only conclude that you don't like me back, thus the conclusion that these moments meant nothing more than acts of kindness.

Minghao, you shouldn't be so kind, or else people would misunderstand you, like me. Why must you be so attractive? You're masculine but at the same time, you can become so soft and cute and caring.

Anyway, at this point, you've probably lost interest in reading this letter (if you ever read it). I hope you'll trudge on though as I keep going forward with the reminiscing. I know that you like reading, Minghao.

So, when we went to the bookstore, there was something memorable that happened to me there.

Yes, it made my heart pound too.

Yes, it made me fall harder for you.

I was really sleepy that day. All the college work piling up only made me more stressed and I was so tired. You didn't know that I was, did you?

I ended up falling asleep at a table while you were choosing books.

When I woke up, I saw your face. It wasn't upside down, you were sitting next to me, with your head lying against the table, facing me. It's still a question to me why you did that when you could have just woken me up or sat somewhere else, but well, you rejected me.

You and I just stared at each other. I was wondering then, what were you thinking?

At that time, I didn't know how you felt about me, so every little thing was hope. Your face was so close to mine and our bodies were against each other slightly. I was able to feel your warm breath.

“Are you wide awake now?” You asked.

Minghao, when you asked that, I honestly got the feeling that you were nervous because you quickly got up and removed the book you have placed under my head while I was sleeping.

You? Nervous? I guess I was wrong.

Even now, I feel a bit hopeful that maybe sometimes, I did make your heart race, but that's all just false hope.

We went clothes shopping around a month ago.

You wanted to get some new hats and I tagged along because we were friends. While picking hats, we were talking about normal stuff that we always talk about, so I was busy with that conversation. I was talking to you while looking at hats and then suddenly, I felt a hat plop down on my head.

When I turned around, I nearly bumped into your chest. Your hand was still on my head, where the hat was placed. I was so nervous and my whole body was burning up, you know that?

After that, you had to attack again with your soft giggles and smile, making me completely melt.

Then, you took off the hat and patted my head and ruffed my hair, then continued the conversation as if you didn't just do that to me. Of course, you probably never knew how I felt.

This is the last one, I promise.

I picked this one carefully.

That day after courses. It was a rainy afternoon and we were together at the library, studying and working together.

It was getting dark but we didn't expect the rain so we didn't take umbrellas with us. We ended up staying at the library for hours, just talking.

That was the important, special part of this memory.

We talked a lot and I was happy. You made a lot of jokes and I learned a lot more about you. You also smiled a lot. I was just really happy to be around you, talking about your life and mine.

I don't know why this one is the most memorable for me. I just always, constantly, remember the scene of us sitting at a table in the library, talking to each other beside a window painted with raindrops.

I don't know if you felt it but to me, it seemed more like we were flirting.

Minghao, now that I've reached the near end of this letter, I think I've decided the future for us.

Let's not stay friends. I don't want to fall for you. I don't want to love you. Being your friend would only make it worse for both of us since you didn't feel the same way.

You asking me to your b-boy competitions, you asking me to look at your art projects, it was all just normal things that friends would do but I overreacted.

It's all my fault and I'm sorry for it. I'm sorry and I know that I can't fix our friendship. I was such a fool.

Minghao, I hope you can find a better friend than me; A friend that doesn't misunderstand you, a friend that can love you without falling for you romantically, a friend that can be better than me.

My love stories always have a bittersweet ending so don't worry, you're not the only guy.

Thank you for being my friend for a year. I really appreciate it. You were a great buddy, fun, kind, serious, and caring.

I'm sorry for being this way.

I'm sorry for what I did, though I can't take back my confession.

I shouldn't have fallen in love, right?

Sincerely,

Y/N

-----------------

© serenityseventeen

7/1/21 - 10:28 pm

a/n: Get well! Wishing our best leader a healthy recovery!!! + it's the month of July, which means... Wonwoo's bday (and my sister's). + Ending fairy Boo = iconic ><

[youremeimyou]

Old Lovers

pairing: Min Yoongi x reader genre: angst with sprinkles of fluff, ex-boyfriend au word count: almost 5k warning: some passionate kissing

Description: Min Yoongi is your ex-boyfriend that you’ve parted ways not on the greatest of terms with. But in the makings of a mixtape, somethings will be rekindled. Will it be friendship or maybe more?

A/N: I’ve started writing this so long ago but only recently got to finish it. I haven’t been able to post any fics in a while even though I’ve got a lot of wip. I’m graduating uni and my life’s basically a chaos right now. But I liked writing this a lot. I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think of it :) [posting again cuz it’s not showing on tags ughh]

Going back to school has never been this painful to you before. Of course assingments, exams and longer than necessary lectures were always there to welcome you back to hell every year but no new semester intimidated you quite like this one does. Especially after the very much disconnected summer break you had.

Spending the summer in your hometown of Gwangju was a rushed decision that was actually forced upon you at the time. But it turned out to be exactly what you needed. At least, Hoseok made sure that it was. Being your life-long friend, he took matters into his own hands when you couldn't pull yourself together after the rough patch you've been through. The Hoseok-ie rule he called it: No getting in touch with anyone in Seoul. And while it was a little hard not reaching out to close friends in Seoul, you couldn't risk breaking the Hoseok-ie rule. He's sweet and you love him but that guy is one scary motherfucker when he's pissed.

Now, summertime's over and you're definetely not prepared to face your demons. It doesn't help that Hoseok's classes aren't starting until next week, either. That means you have to go through this alone.

On your way from the subway station to the campus, you check the new weekly schedule once more and it makes you let out a dissappointed huff. You can't blame anyone. You made this schedule. But do you have any idea why you decided to put music theory at 9 in the morning while you were making it? No.

Your legs take action before you know it and suddenly you're now turning to the other street. They continue to take you through another familiar path. As you close in on the shop at the corner, the calming smell of coffee reaches your nose and you realise why coming here was more tempting than attending class.

This coffee shop was your safe haven for the past three years and this semester isn't going to be any different. Even though it's so close to campus, not many people know about it and it's never hectic. Which is something you love and right now, definetely need. Some peace and quiet before starting the semester...

You enter and head straight to the barista, who happens to be a friend of yours since you're a regular.

"Hey Ryu."

"Well well, if it isn't Miss I'll come everyday this summer that never showed up once." Ryu has sarcasm alongside with mischief in his voice.

"I know but Hoseok kept me in Gwangju as a prisoner the whole summer, I'm sorry."

"Where's that dancing machine?"

"He doesn't have classes until next week so it's just me for now." You're still not over the fact he left you on your own for the first week.

"It's fine, you're not alone. Look!" Ryu points to the back where the tables are. You're confused as to who he could be pointing at. You and Hoseok are the only ones you know that come here- except...

In a flash, you stop turning around and hurriedly order a black coffee. "Please make it quick." you plead quietly but what's done is done, he already knows you're here. In fact you can hear footsteps approaching.

"That drink was great, dude. What's it called again?" He appears on your right side in his all-black outfit with a snapback. Nothing's changed about him, you think. Except you see some of his hair through the hat and it seems to be bleached. Something he hasn't done for a while. For the two years you two were together, to be exact.

"Oh, it's called yuanyang. You think I should put it on the menu?"

"Definetely, go for it."

It seems like he doesn't even acknowlegde the fact that you're right next to him. But why the hell did he even come here? You totally introduced him to this place and Ryu. So, you should get to keep this place after the break-up. Aren't those the rules?

He takes out his wallet to pay but pauses for a second. "Ryu, can I get two cookies to go?" he asks and hands over his card.

Two cookies? You know he doesn't like sugaries that much. You're almost sure he's meeting someone and it makes you scoff, unconsciously. Both him and Ryu side-eye you but you avert your gaze. "Chocolate ones, please." he adds. You think he must be ordering your favorites just to spite you.

He recieves the cookies from Ryu, fistbumps the guy and starts walking out. But then, just as he passes by you, he leaves one of the cookies on the counter in front of you and exits without another word.

First, you're shocked. And so is Ryu, apparently. You glance at him and he confusedly shrugs. Then, you're pissed. In a moment of anger, you blast out of there to go after him.

"Hey, Min Yoongi!" you shout.

He stops but doesn't turn around for a while. Just when he's about to, you appear right in front of him, the cookie in your hand.

"What's this?"

"What does it look like to you?" he retorts back, his eyes avoiding yours. And you frustratedly huff.

"What are you trying to pull?" you ask with hints of accusation in your voice. That's when he meets your gaze.

"Nothing at all. My fault for trying to be nice."

There it is, the Min Yoongi venom you were waiting for. He opens his mouth to say something else but you beat him to it.

"Ryu doesn't seem to know that we-" you pause. And immediately regret pausing. Why couldn't you just say it?

"Oh, right. You must be thinking that life stopped while you were away." And only as he says this that you notice the dark circles under his eyes. "He knows. So do a lot of other people, by the way."

Well, shit. You might've been away from all the post-breakup commotion but he was here. He was dealing with everyone of your social circle, alone. And what's the first thing you do when you see him for the first time after all that? Lashing out at him. And when he was just trying to be nice, too. Great...

"Can you move? I'm missing class." he says coldly. But despite trying to hide it, his voice sounds tired. Which makes you step out of his way and let him go. Instead, you start making your own way to class, being already late as it is.

Safe to say it's an awkward walk to campus, with you on one side of the street and Yoongi on the other. The bad news is, you constantly find yourself looking his way. Even though you curse under your breath everytime you catch yourself staring at him, you can't help but look again. But his eyes are completely fixed on the road, not even sparing you one glance.

To escape the awkwardness, you decide taking the longer route to class by heading for the stairs at the back while he takes the ones near the entrance. Since you're late and afraid of Professor Sol, you fasten your pace. Once you reach the door, your hand clashes into someone else's. Yoongi's. Of course, you think to yourself. You should've known he's taking music theory from Professor Sol. He's the best student when it comes to music and the best teacher here definetely wants him on his class.

It's too late when you realise you haven't removed your hand because he opens the door with yours under his, making it feel as though you're holding hands.

"So you finally decided to grace us with your presence? You shouldn't have. The class is about to end." Professor Sol scolds the two of you. She isn't exactly wrong. "I can pardon a student who already excells but the one who barely passes classes, I hope you know what you're doing Miss Y/N." One thing about her is that she notoriously discriminates between students and she's never liked you.

Yoongi's hand and yours is still connected and you feel him tense up. He actually used to be your guardian when it came to Professor Sol. And apparently old habits die hard because he grabs your hand harder and steps up a little. "The last I checked, at least eighty percent of your class fails every year, professor. It includes people who rank highest in some of the other classes. Strange, don't you think?"

Only Min Yoongi has the guts to do this. And only he gets a free pass after doing it. When the professor simply points you in the direction of the seats, Yoongi pulls you by the hand he’s still holding and sits you down. There’s immediately talk going around, people discussing if you were back together and all that. That’s when he snaps out of it and lets your hand go. So you’re finally able to let out the breath you were unknowingly holding. Then, he goes to one of the back seats and sits down himself. And you quietly wonder why that hurts you.

It's Hoseok's first day back and the two of you are enjoying some coffee at Ryu's shop, after a long school day.

"Y/N, I've got some bad news." he says, looking gloomy all of a sudden.

"Wha- hurry up and tell me." You hate the suspense, it makes you worry.

"I haven't been able to find a studio that we can continue the album with." He looks really upset. That's only natural, he's been working on this project for over a year now. Before you broke up with Yoongi, Hoseok was writing and producing a mixtape in Yoongi's studio with you and Yoongi's help. After you parted ways, the mixtape was put on hold.

"I've saved a lot of money this summer. We can look into some expensive ones too, I'm sure we can-"

"It's not the money, Y/N. I can't work on it the way I want to in any of those other studios. Even if it's one of the expensive ones." he cuts in. Yes, Yoongi was probably the only person to let Hoseok do his own thing.

"Well then, you should talk to Yoongi. I'm sure he'll be cool with working with you, still. As long as I don't show up, it should be fine."

He rolls his eyes. "I can't do it without you, Y/N. I'll need your help, so you'll have to show up eventually."

It's your turn to roll your eyes. You don't want anything to do with that studio. But you know how important this mixtape is to Hoseok, so you say okay. Even though you doubt Yoongi would be fine with you being there.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. In his damned, cursed, beautiful leather jacket... This time there's no hat so you can fully observe his bleached hair and notice how it's grown longer.

"Would you really be okay with it? I don't wanna put you in this position, no. Let's just forget it-"

"Hoseok-ie, you're lovely. But for now, shut up." You get up and make your way to Yoongi's table. Hoseok's mixtape has to be done, no matter what. Seems like he hasn't noticed you so you clear your throat to grab his attention.

"What?" he asks, not looking at you. Your blood slowly starts to boil.

"I need to ask you something-"

"Ryu, I kinda need that coffee asap, buddy!" He cuts you off by hollering at the barista and starts to gather his things. He really must want to get on your nerves.

"Actually, first things first, why in the bloody hell are you still coming here?" You can't help but lash out again. You discovered this place after all, you have the right to claim it.

"Excuse me?"

"I showed you this place, it's my territory. Don't you know the break-up rules?"

He laughs at that. In such a condescending way that you regret saying it. He stops getting ready and settles on the table once again. "You're cute."

Oh, you're so close to smacking him on the head.

"And you're an asshole."

Ryu comes with Yoongi's order and leaves it on the table. "I thought you were in a hurry." He says while heading back to the counter.

"I suddenly wanna stay longer." Yoongi states, looking straight at you.

Every fiber of your being wants to avoid his eyes and run away from there, he knows exactly how to make you vulnerable. But you endure. For Hoseok.

"I'll get to the point. Hoseok needs to keep working with you. Our situation shouldn't effect his mixtape, don't you think?"

He switches to serious mode quickly. "Was this your idea or his?"

"What does it matter-"

"I'm only okay with it if he wants to do it on his own will and not by you forcing him."

Okay, you do get a little bossy sometimes but he didn't have to put it as harsh as that.

"He wants to. He refused other studios and all that."

You think you see his lips curve into a small smile for a second. Hoseok and Yoongi got along very well, actually. You never wanted for them to stop being friends, anyway. This might be a chance for them to catch up even. Of course, there's a slight problem.

"But- he says he can't do it without... well, me. He wants to make sure that you're okay with-"

"Not a problem." Yoongi unexpectantly cuts you off. You're rendered speechless due to shock. He finally turns his head and looks at you. "My studio is a workplace, Y/N. Why would it bother me when you're there for work purposes? Especially when you're essential to the process."

Yoongi's sense of kindness is a very strong thing. But it's well hidden under all the coldness and sarcasm. You'd know, it had taken you a while to get to it. But when you did, it made you fall for him even harder at the time. And now, even though things between you are over, you can still see it.

"Thanks..." is all you can say while turning around to go back but suddenly your feet stop and turn back around. "Actually, thanks for before with Professor Sol, too. Even though you don't need to stand up for me anymore-"

"It's not that I needed to, Y/N. It's that I wanted to."

He goes back to gathering his stuff and you head back to give Hoseok the details of how it went. Just as you're about to, Yoongi stops by your table before leaving.

"Hoseok-ie, text me later to come up with a schedule for studio hours, okay?"

Hoseok is visibly happy and responds with a big smile. "Sure thing."

It's been three weeks since Hoseok started to work at Yoongi's studio again. But today is the first time that you'll be going there since the break-up. Even though time has passed, you're still not used to being around Yoongi all the time. Like having to attend almost all the classes with him and also, well... without him.

Without him sitting next to you, practically glued to your side, while you both silently giggle in the middle of the lecture as he whispers stupid jokes in your ear. The fact that you're consantly around him (not by choice by the way) prevents you from getting over him.

And now the studio... One of the most dangerous places for you now because of the memories you have with him there. You know, an intimate, indoor space with dim lights... A perfect spot for activities you definitely don't want to be reminded of. But for your best friend Hoseok, you have to go.

When you arrive, you call Hoseok to open up the door, too nervous to ring the doorbell. Once you enter, your giggly friend drags you hurriedly into the recording room.

"Okay warm your voice up. We should start with the vocals-"

"Wow there, pickle." you say. Vocals were maybe the only thing you told him you wouldn't do. What did he think? That he could hurry you into it and you wouldn't notice? "What vocals, Hoseok? I'm here to arrange, mix and maybe write some melodies, you know that."

"Shhh... look you gotta. Otherwise Yoongi's gonna have some other girl do it and I don't want that."

What girl? For as long as you can remember, Yoongi has tried to get you to sing. For Hoseok's and other albums. But you don't have confidence in your voice so you've always refused. And now he just wants some other girl?

"Have you told him you don't want that?"

"Yes, obviously. He told me if I can't convince you, we had no other choice. So c'mon, just try for me? Pleaseee?"

You sneakily glance out the window to see Yoongi talking with the said girl. She’s probably from your school even though you haven’t seen her here before. She’s standing a bit too close to Yoongi’s chair and leaning on him a little but that’s none of your business. And you definetely don’t care. But still, you can’t have someone whom Hoseok’s not comfortable with, sing in his own damn album.

You go out the room and toward Yoongi and the girl. “We need to speak.” you say and head for the other room. Yoongi huffs while following after you.

“What is it miss grumpy?”

You roll your eyes. “Are you really pulling an ultimatom on me like this? Hoseok clearly isn’t okay with this girl-”

“Hoseok isn’t okay with anyone but you. This isn’t my ultimatom, it’s his. Marley’s like the third person I asked to do this and he didn’t like any of them. Because what he wants is your voice. You really can’t see that Y/N?”

He sounds fed up and exhausted. What he says makes sense too, since you know how stubborn and sneaky your best friend can be.

He continues. “Look, if we want the album to proceed there are three options. First is Marley does the vocals and Hoseok will be unhappy about it. Second is there’ll be no female vocals which will make the whole thing empty and far from what we planned. Or third, you can do them and save us all the grimace.”

He makes it seem like he doesn’t care which you’ll go with but in his eyes, you can see hope that you’ll say yes to the third. But no. You’re not ready, you can’t. In your mind, you suck. So you convince Hoseok to go with Marley for now.

So, days go by. Marley comes pretty often to record. Hoseok’s not frowning that much about it anymore. And you notice how every chance she gets, Marley is pulling the moves on Yoongi. Which seem to work, since sometimes they come in or leave together. None of it bothers you at all, you tell yourself.

One day, you come in pretty late at night remembering you left your notes there. Since you have a spare key, you think you can be in and out unnoticed. Silly you because once you hear Yoongi playing the piano, you can’t just leave. You wait outside the room until he’s done and some stupid momentary courage makes you go in.

“Oh- I’m sorry.” you instantly say when you see Marley sitting next to him. “I just forgot my- I was leaving-”

“Wait!” Yoongi says hurridly to stop you. “We were done here anyway.”

Marley doesn’t look happy but gets up and leaves.

“No really, I got my notes and I was about to head out. She doesn’t need to leave on my account-”

“It’s not on your account. But since you came in here, you must have something to say?”

Why does it feel like he wants you to say something? Why does it seem like he wants you to stay? You’re convinced it’s your own mind playing tricks on you.

“No. I don’t.” you lie with a broken voice. But your feet aren’t leaving. And Yoongi is still staring at you with a cold attitude but expecting eyes.

“Fine.” you give up and say. “I thought the piano room wasn’t allowed to just anyone. I guess since she was in here...” you cut yourself off. The piano room was kind of your special place when you were together. Nobody other than you was allowed in here. This is the place you two would spend hours and hours coming up with songs. Or just talking about things you shared only with each other.

“I’m just giving her piano lessons for some extra cash. And this room doesn’t mean much to me anymore.”

His answer dissappoints you. Not the part that he indirectly said they weren’t dating. The latter part. “And here I thought the whole secrecy of the piano room was just your way of pulling the moves on whoever you’re dating.” As long as the sentence is finished, you regret saying it. You know it isn’t right. What you said is unfair to every intimate and meaningful moment you had with him here. And your words come down like the last drop on his patience.

He shoots out of the seat. “If I wasn’t so goddamn sure that you already know how you’re the first person I ever brought in here, I’d be hurt. But instead I’m just pissed.”

He’s right to be. So you can’t say anything back.

“How can you even-” he stops for a moment. “But that’s just your way, isn’t it? Spit out venom whenever you don’t like something.”

“Me?” you ask in shock. Now this you can’t have. “No. Poisonous words are your specialty.”

“And you already left me for it, didn’t you? You left me so why would you care who I bring in here anyway?” He’s switched to his shouting voice now.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. But I left because you pushed me away, Yoongi.” He averts his gaze to the floor while you continue. “I know that you love music more than anything else but what I also happen to know is that you use it as an escape. An excuse to not get too close. But guess what? We were already too close for me to not realise what you were doing! And that is why I left!”

Both of you are obviously done shouting and silence takes over the room for a while. You already had to push back tears like twice now, so you decide to leave but just then, Yoongi has something to say.

“This room will never have any significance with anyone else besides you. Just know that.” he silently admits with his eyes still fixed on the ground. You don’t say anything and just walk away.

It’s nearly the end of the semester and Hoseok’s mixtape is finally finished. He was so exited that he accidentely published it three times in a row on soundcloud. And the fact that he’s getting some great feedback is the icing on top.

In the meantime, you’ve been doing a lot of thinking. After that fight with Yoongi, you’ve started to seriously consider the fact that maybe leaving him just like that was a mistake. Because yes, you were hurt that after all you had been through, he was still trying to keep you at bay. You felt like as you were falling completely and irreversably for him, he was still holding back. But when you left, you were gone all the way. Leaving him all alone when you knew he was hurt.

Spending the last couple of months together, you finally admitted to yourself that you missed him. And that it did bother you seeing him with other girls. It bothered you that Marley was so obviously into him. Even though he made it clear he wasn’t interested, you still felt... jealous.

But you never mustered up the courage to talk to him about any of these. Even though it seems like lately he’s trying not to be cold around you, trying to strike up random converstions in efforts to perhaps recover at least your friendship. For some stupid reason you can’t seem to dare let him back in.

Your buzzing phone pulls you out of your thoughts. You check and see it’s your best friend that you’ve been feeling extra proud of these days.

“Yes, my successful, on his way to become a star best friend?”

“Oh my god, Y/N. You won’t believe this!” he squeaks while talking. And you hate the suspense so you tell him to hurry up and tell you what’s up.

“Yoongi’s friend in radio 12 agreed to play the title song!”

“What??” you start to squeak in exitement as well. “When? When will it be on?”

“In about two minutes! Just put the station on, now!” he orders and hangs up immediately. He’ll probably call his parents next. You quickly do as he says and for sure, the next song is Hoseok’s title track. You start hopping in your bed, dancing around in your room with the dumbest smile on your face but then-

The bridge comes and it’s your voice. That’s impossible, you think. But it is you singing the bridge. And then it hits you. That one night you snuck into the studio with your spare key and recorded this exact bit, just to see how it’d be... As always, you thought it wasn’t good enough. But instead of deleting, you hid the file. Guess you couldn’t hide it that well, after all. Was it Hoseok that did this? Or...

Your phone buzzes again and once again it’s Hoseok. “Y/N- This was the best surprise you ever made for me. I’m literally about to cry, you sound so good! Thank you for doing this.”

It wasn’t Hoseok, then. But you’re thrilled to know he likes it that much. You’re thrilled to hear yourself on a freaking radio station that so many people listen to! It feels amazing. It gives you so much confidence. So much that after ending the call with Hoseok, you decide to go to the only person left who could’ve done this.

You’re at Yoongi’s door. You haven’t been here for a long time but despite the nervousness, you manage to knock. It’s pretty late but you know he’s a night owl, he should be up. Soon enough, he opens the door. He’s taken aback to see you at first but then his surprised expression turns into worry.

“I know why you’re here. I’m sorry I used the recording without your consent but-”

You launch yourself onto him and crash your lips on his. His response is so quick that it’s almost automatic. He pulls you in even more, closes the door with his foot and traps your body againts the wall with his own. All the while not parting your lips once. Your hands go to his hair. You’ve been wanting to brush your fingers through his hair ever since you’ve seen that he bleached it again after two years. You pull at the tips slightly. It makes him hum into your mouth.

“Wait-” he says while he pulls away suddenly. “You-” You’re both out of breath. “Are you really okay with what I did?”

“Yes.” You close the distance once again and this time he moves you to the couch. You’ve missed this couch. You’ve missed him...

He pulls back again. “Y/N- wait. What are we doing?”

“What do you think?” you tease as your lips travel down to his neck.

“I wanna talk to you first, though.” he manages to say between his panting.

“So talk.” you say and go back to the week spots on his neck, secretly smiling against his skin.

“You’re not-” he swallows a groan. “exactly making it easy.” He then pulls your head up to face him and gives you another long kiss. But this time not out of the heat of the moment. Instead with so much meaning engraved on it.

“Y/N... I never meant to hurt you.” he says staring into your eyes. “You were right, I was a coward but- I swear if you give me another chance, I will give it my all. I’ll be a thousand percent in.”

You smile. He looks so much like a lost puppy that it makes you want to tease him. “Well, prove that to me right now then.” you say slyly.

“Uhh- I will. I- I’m gonna go dye my hair brown, right now. I bleached it to get your attention, anyway. Not to attract others, I promise.” he says in panic.

You burst into laughter. When you first started dating, you talked him into not bleaching his hair anymore. You always said it was only for his health but he always knew you were jealous of girls getting attracted because of it, too. “No, don’t. I actually missed how even hotter it makes you look. Let’s keep that for now.” you say. “I was kidding, you don’t have to do or say any-”

“I love you.”

You pause. It’s not the first time he tells you that. But this time he says it in such a way that you’re certain it’s the real thing. Even more real than before. “I love you, too.”

“So...” he leans into you and whispers in your ear. “Couch or bed?”

You both giggle. “Surprise me.” you whisper back and he quickly tries to lift you but fails, making you both laugh out loud. “Umm- I haven’t been working out lately, baby. I’m sorry.” he says between giggles.

Between all the laughter, you silently thank him for giving you another chance, too. And make a mental promise that you won’t give this up so easily ever again.

....

A/N: This was my first Yoongi fic and I feel good about it. It’s really hard to imagine Yoongi not being a god at music so anytime I use him as a character, he’s always a prodigy lol. I can’t help it he’s just really good. Anyways if you’ve bared with this, thank you sooo much for reading and I hope you liked it. Let me know if you did. Always wash your hands and stay healthy :)

[cameoamalthea]

I think it's interesting how many people were wanting Jester to leave Artagan and go with the Moonweaver (who is awesome btw). I can't properly convey how relieved I am that didn't happen and that their already strong bond was made stronger and they both grew from it. Because that is how good relationships work and people are capable of changing for the better. Finding new faith worked for Fjord, but I don't believe it would have worked for Jester the same way. What they have can't be replaced.

If Artagan was forcibly taken from Jester it would have been traumatizing for Jester. 

What the Mighty Nein, and perhaps a portion of the fandom, don’t understand is that Jester is a depressed lonely person who hides it. She puts on a mask of always happy and fine, it’s ok. She’s not ok and they don’t see it. Jester is also afraid of being alone, which plays into her fear of being disliked and abandoned. 

Whether or not anyone else likes Artagan, Jester LOVES him and she has some serious attachment issues so just ripping him away from her would be super harmful.

There’s a scene in C2E19 where the party sees a shack and wants to investigate it. Jester suggests turning Frumpkin into a bird to go check it out since it’s like a mile away. Caleb does not like the idea, but then playfully says for you Fjord I will do it. Jester responds by being dramatic and pouting about him shooting her down but being willing to do it for Fjord. 

LAURA: Can Frumpkin be a bird? 

LIAM: (reluctantly) Yeah. 

TALIESIN: For a bit. 

TRAVIS: I want to check out the shack. 

LIAM: All right. For you, Fjord, I will make Frumpkin a bird. 

LAURA: Not for me, though. Caleb hates me.

SAM: We could just walk over there. It's a hassle to turn him into a bird. 

TRAVIS: Yeah. Keep your cat. 

LIAM: You are more sensitive than I would have imagined. 

LAURA: I want people to like me.

Caleb is extremely observant and although this is a light, playful scene, says something that cuts really close. “You are more sensitive than I would have imagined.” She’s being over the top and dramatic, he criticizes her, and since what she was joking about what is actually some real insecurity she kind of deflates, her voice gets real small and she says “I want people to like me.” 

It’s a blink and you’ll miss it moment made harder to catch by the fact everyone is talking at once and Laura is eating pizza (role-playing with your mouth full - this is not to shame her for eating, she is entitled to that pizza, but it might make it harder to pick up on the moment). However, I think this touches upon something important. 

Jester is in fact extremely insecure about being liked, and you see this with her relationship with the Traveler. Worrying that he might not like her now that she has other friends at first, and constantly needing reassurance that she’s the most important. 

There’s a brilliant thread on reddit that sums up Jester’s character as follows:

“She's a people-pleaser because she's afraid to lose people. She grew up with the only 'low resource' being people - caring, loving, laughing people. She had her mother, who definitely loves her, but that was it. Most children have scores of people, and other children! to play with. Jester didn't.

And she's afraid to lose that, at any cost. Even realizing she was manipulated, keeping Artagen is more important than standing up for herself or showing her disappointment, because she can't lose him.

Onto - Artagen. What we know:

He's openly admitted to being manipulative and selfish

More importantly: he's openly admitted to never wanting to be bored and never wanting to 'get into emotions'

This REALLY matters. Why?

Because Jester is afraid of losing everyone so she can't be what those people don't want.

Jester can't be upset in front of Artagen because he might get bored with all of her emotions and leave.

It's crazy important for her to be his favorite because, as she is helping him leave all of his followers (her biggest fear) he keeps saying he won't leave her.”

Jester has pretty serious abandonment issues. Children need the attention and support of a caregiver. RedditTotalWar made a great point on that reddit thread: “A significant withdrawal of attention is often enough to cause a child to develop abandonment issues. Children don't have the capacity to realize that some things aren't about them since they are the centers of their own universe.” So the fact Jester’s mother, who clearly loves her and is a good person, did not always have time for her and required Jester to keep her existence secret is damaging. 

Note, this is not to suggest that Marrion is a bad person or was intentionally abusive. You don’t have to be a monster to hurt a child. Disney example: In Tangled, Mother Gothel isolated Rapunzel and was an abuser who just wanted to use her. In Frozen, Anna’s Mother and Father isolated Anna out of a desire to do what they thought was best for their other daughter Elsa and to protect Anna from what they saw as the threat posed by Elsa’s magic. Anna’s parents were not intentionally abusive and loved their children, but Anna was still neglected and isolated and harmed by their actions.

To Jester, the message she got growing up was ‘Momma loves me, but she’s busy and I can’t get in the way and no one can know I exist’ which could easily be taken as ‘Momma loves me, but I’m not the most important thing to her’ or even ‘Momma loves me, but my existence makes her life harder, so maybe I’m not completely lovable since I’m a problem’. 

And while you may think, if she was that worried why would she act out and play pranks and cause trouble, the fact is that children who are insecure about being loved may self-sabotage with caregivers. You see a high rate of disruption in foster children right before adoption because the child starts exhibiting behaviors. Perhaps faced with the fear of, maybe my parental won’t love me if I cause trouble, it feels safer just deliberately causing trouble because then at least you’re the one in control rather than walking on eggshells terrified that messing up could mean abandonment. 

The fact that Jester’s prank on Lord Sharp resulted in her having to leave the only home she’s ever known and never come back under threat of death and that her Mother could not (or in her mind, would not?) protect her may have made her abandonment issues a lot worse. 

Jester is terrified of being left alone, of being abandoned. Taking away the one person who has been a constant in her life and who she has felt safe with all at once would not be good. As Laura said on her playlist “he’s always been the one person she could show her insecurities to” and losing that stable, trusted person would hurt. 

 I don’t think her relationship with Artagan is entirely healthy (it’s not healthy for a child to grow up with only one other friend and her attachment to him extreme and also he’s a selfish, manipulative Archfey - I don’t think Artagan thinks this relationship is entirely healthy). However, I do not think it would have been better for her to have him ripped away like that. Especially given the fact that the whole Moonweaver thing was her idea and she would likely blame herself for what happened. 

How devastating would that be for someone with Jester’s level of insecurity? 

The Mighty Nein, and again a portion of the fandom, may have preferred it if Jester broke up with Artagan and moved on or found a new god. Fjord’s relationship with Uk’otoa (Uk’atoa) was toxic and abusive, so the Mighty Nein are very wary of that sort of relationship. Fjord if projecting and thinks that any relationship with a powerful being that isn’t a god is dangerous. 

The truth is Jester’s relationship with Artagan isn’t really like one of cleric and god. It’s more like a personal relationship where he happens to give her divine powers.

LAURA: I take a bite of my caramel apple, and I go walking down.

MATT: You hear a crunch sound and your handshakes for a second and you look down and a mysterious secondary bite was taken out of the apple.

LAURA: (gasp) I lick the spot.

(groaning)

SAM: You're making out with your god? Gross.

MATT: They have a special relationship.

A special relationship indeed, Matt. It’s intimate, she talks to him about her crushes and asks him for advice on boys then casually confesses love to him.

LAURA: You're not jealous, are you?

MATT: "No."

LAURA: You'll always be my number one love.

MATT: "I know.”

Fjord is an orphan who was looking for parental figures. Vandren was a mentor and father figure, and it was through Vandren that Fjord gained his connection to Uk’otoa. The Wild Mother felt Motherly to Fjord and in Talks Travis said that when Matt first described the feeling his thoughts were on like have I found my Mother somehow. To Fjord religion is a divine parent, an authority figure who provides guidance and direction, and in the case of the Wild Mother love and support for him. 

Jester has never seen the Traveler as a ‘dad figure’. He’s just her best friend and based on her behavior towards him and jealousy towards his other followers, and the number of love songs on Laura’s playlist, I’m pretty convinced that Jester is IN LOVE with him. 

(I don’t know if that feeling is required. Given they grew up together with him in the form of another child and the fact Artagan is actually ancient, I think he sees her more like a little sister. This might be why he was so confused when she grabbed his face and leaned in like she was about to kiss him despite the fact that like she’s flat out told him that he’s her number one love and requires constant reassurance that she’s his favorite and acts like a schoolgirl with a very obvious crush)

And again, all of this may not be healthy or ideal for Jester. She might get hurt. However, I think in order to grow the relationship has to run it’s course no matter what happens. Artagan not only acted completely selflessly by kicking her off of him rather than face the possibility that she’d have to choose between him and or friends or be banished with him but like - he apologized to her. 

An actual, real, non-manipulative apology. He admitted he was manipulative and he’s sorry and when she tries to play it off as it’s fine, he says he doesn’t want to defend himself. He’s sorry.

That’s growth.

[thatguywiththecoydog]

Anpanman: Apple Boy and Everyone's Hope (2014)

Introduction

Fox's primary free-to-use streaming service, Tubi, had announced that they would be picking up at least 10 of the Anpanman movies to be released in English and Spanish back last October, with them slated for a fall 2020 release. This never happened, so many fans of the Anpanman franchise that spoke native English or Spanish would have to wait a little longer for dubs of these movies to come out.

The delay of these movie dubs went unannounced, leading fans to speculate that the dub was either in limbo or just silently canceled. This was until the first of them was released on April 15, 2021, with no announcement, or even complete details on who is dubbing them or the cast list. This had fans believing for a short while that the dub had taken a bit longer to assure its quality, but as you will soon read, this was most likely not the case.

Naturally, fans were excited as this was the first time these movies would see an official dubbed release in the west. There were other dubs of the franchise in English and Spanish, such as an English dub of the television series made for India that aired on Pogo, and a Spanish made in Spain sometime in the 1990s. However, these dubs are hard to come by and there are no official ways to watch these dubs in North America, as far as I'm aware.

Promo for the Indian Pogo dub posted by @doraedoramichan2021 on YouTube: https://youtu.be/oxAx5EEdX_4

So now we have an official dub of one of the movies that can be watched at no charge with ads. Joy!

Plot synopsis (spoilers below)

The plot starts with Dokin (spelled as "Dokeen" in the dub) and Horrorman (dubbed as "Horror") as they read a book of fairy tales, landing on Snow White. They end up accidentally releasing a shadowy figure from the book as it flies off into the darkness.

Meanwhile, Melonpanna's and Creampanda's (spelled "Cream Panda" in the dub) class are making sketches of the ocean. This is where Baikinman comes in to cause trouble for them with his giant crab robot. Anpanman rushes in from the blue to beat the tar out of Baikinman to save the day as the theme song plays in the background.

After that, we cut to the movie's other titular character, Apple Boy, attempting to fly his hot air balloon over the ocean. After the balloon falls to the ocean, he is swept away by the current.

A whale finds him dehydrated and floating lifeless in the ocean, where he gives him to Anpanman so he can help. After offering a piece of his anpan head to Apple Boy, he takes him to Uncle Jam's bakery, where Uncle Jam and Batako let him stay while they wait for a new shipment of apples from SL-Man.

Back at Baikinman's lair, he discovers that the book of fairy tales was being read by Dokeen and Horror. Looking very worried, he explains to the two of them that he was told never to open that book.

Anpanman, Melonpanna, and Cream Panda find SL-Man with the apples, Baikinman comes by to ruin the apples with his giant caterpillar robot. After Anpanman slows him down, Melonpanna and Cream Panda take SL-Man to the bakery.

Uncle Jam and Batako receive the apples and make them into apple juice. They give the juice to Apple Boy which he quickly drinks and rejuvenates from.

As Anpanman is still fighting Baikinman, Melonpanna and Cream Panda come back with Apple Boy for assistance. Apple Boy ends up beating him by planting an instantly-growing apple seed on the robot's tongue, where Anpanman then punches him into the next time zone.

That evening at the bakery, Apple Boy explains to the crew, with Shokupanman (dubbed as Bread-head Man) and Currypanman there as well, that he needs his balloon to search for the fabled magic apple seeds that can apparently grow the biggest apples anyone has ever seen. Anpanman, Mellonpanna, and Cream Panda help him search for the tree that gives off the magic seeds, while Bread-head Man and Currypanman search for the Apple Balloon. With no luck in finding the tree, they return to the bakery.

As the heroes in the bakery are setting off to find Appleina, an apple girl who might have clues as to where one can find the magic seeds, Horror informs Baikinman and Dokeen of the whole situation through a mock TV newscast.

Once at Appleina's, she shows the crew (and by extension the young audience this movie caters to) how to grow large apples. After many hardships of growing the trees, they finally blossom. Just as they are admiring their hard work, a bunch of bats swoop in and suck the life out of all the other apple trees around them. Unrelated to this, Baikinman attempts to steal all the apples for himself.

At this point, the bats go together to form the wich from the Snow White book that Dokeen and Horror were reading at the beginning of the film, revealing that she was the shadowy figure at the beginning of the movie that escaped from the book.

The witch turns everyone into moldy apples for no other reason than she is evil. The only ones left standing are Apple Boy and Appleina. Uncle Jam and Batako rush to bake Anpanman a new anpan head so he can turn back from apple form and be powered up enough to beat the witch. However, the witch destroys the Anpanman Blimp's oven, meaning they can't bake the head. Apple Boy stuns the witch with the power of a magic apple that he ended up growing. This also bakes the cold head into a perfectly cooked one, giving Uncle Jam and Batako the chance to turn Anpanman back to normal.

They successfully do this and Anpanman beats the witch back into the storybook, as the movie ends and everyone sings about apples.

My opinions

Before you say it, I am fully aware this movie is made for young children, but that is no excuse not to have a quality movie in my opinion. If anything, kids deserve more good content so they can learn and remember seeing that content for years to come. It just makes me feel bad for these children who watch movies that don't have much substance purely because they are "made for children."

The movie itself

The movie is average at best, and boring at worst. I did type out a pretty large plot synopsis for this movie, making it sound like a lot, but there really was not as much as you would think. This movie is only 46 minutes in total too, so there really should have been more here. Like, there was some emotional stuff going on with Apple Boy back on the Apple Planet he came from, but it's never really relevant to the story, nor the series as a whole because of him being made for this movie and only this movie. The movie also has a surprising amount of filler. Like, the part where I briefly mention Anpanman looking for the tree is a montage in the movie that lasts about two minutes, along with a scene where Apple Boy falls off a cliff, which is also not relevant to the main plot. I want to say a good quarter of this movie in total was filler, so we only have about 33 minutes of actual plot.

The writing that is there is also broken. I believe that the most entertaining part about this series is the series villains, Baikinman, Dokeen, and Horror. They don't make too many appearances in this movie to serve as comic relief, rather, Baikinman feels shoved in here to serve as more padding to make that over-40-minute time slot. There are also parts of the movie that make absolutely no sense under any perspective, not just an outsider's. Like, why does giving Anpanman a new head suddenly transform him from a moldy apple back to normal?

Overall, I feel as though both adults and children would be bored to death by this movie. 3/10.

Dubbing quality

If the movie itself wasn't soleless enough, the dubbing somehow makes this worse.

The movie was dubbed by Macias Group, a Florida-based studio that is best known for dubbing English shows into Spanish but does have some English dubbing in their catalog.

They had hired voice actors that I have not even heard of, nor do I think anyone else has. This doesn't make the dubbing automatically bad, in fact, a no-name cast can be quite good if given the right direction. However, this cast I feel did not give enough life to the characters. Some characters sound fine, like Horror or Dokeen, but others sound like the actor is struggling to put on a good performance, like Baikinman.

The characters also tend to speak in a way I like to call "Dora the Explorer Syndrome." It's kind of hard to explain what this is over text, but characters will talk extremely slowly for the young children, along with sounding considerably condescending. Watch the first two minutes of a Dora episode and compare it to this movie and you'll hear what I mean.

The voice acting itself sounds a bit bland and flat, almost like the actors didn't really care for their roles and were just doing it for a small paycheck. I don't blame them, really. An obscure series that they most likely haven't even heard of streaming exclusively on an unpopular streaming service most likely won't pay too high certainly wouldn't get me motivated. To do something like this, it needs to pay high enough or be on a service where it will get more notoriety, and most importantly, the people need to have a passion for the project and voice acting in general, neither of which sounded like they were here. I also heard a bit of recording echo, but I'm going to chalk that up to the actors recording at home rather than a booth due to COVID restrictions. If the dub had a bit more heart, then I probably would have liked it that much more.

I feel as though some of the name changes could have been better. Like some were unnecessary like Dokin to Dokeen or Horrorman to Horror, but things like Baikinman and Anpanman were kept the same, which probably needed the most explanation to an English audience.

The iconic songs from the Japanese version were also translated to English, which is a rarity in 2021 dubbing land. However, the songs sound off from their Japanese counterparts. If you were to listen to the theme song (https://youtu.be/3qSiSWTJkzw) or the closing song (https://youtu.be/c4DY7xmLlQI), you hear that they are bouncy, happy, and catchy. The English versions sound a bit off-beat to the rhythm these songs are supposed to be in. Now, I don't mind if the rhythm is a bit different so it can be optimized to the English language better, but here, it's so off it makes the songs sound worse. Most likely, the singers were given no direction and only listened to the Japanese version a few times. Not only that, but the lyrics are nearly directly translated from Japanese, also messing with the flow of the songs. When listening to the Japanese musical tracks, it almost makes you wonder what could have been.

Overall, the dubbing is not too good and probably could have done better either with a different cast with more motivation, or a whole 'nother studio behind the wheel.

Final thoughts and other recommendations

If you do want another English dub of Anpanman that I think is miles better, watch the fandub by Thomas Blue on Fandubbers Unite, starring myself as Anpanman (renamed to Bean-bun Man) and @clwsblog as Baikinman (renamed to Cavity Creep). It has better writing, better acting, and better songs. Both kids and adults alike will enjoy this version. Before you ask me, no, there is no bias here. I truly believe we did it better and for no pay!

Here is a link to Thomas Blue's dub:

https://fandubbersunite.weebly.com/beanbunman.html

If you really want to watch the official English though, even after my warnings, then go ahead. Here's a link to the Tubi listing:

https://tubitv.com/movies/592033/anpanman-apple-boy-and-everyone-s-hope?start=true