#though this changes with them he didn't do it because he changed his mind about the dragons because one of them saved him

[vampmira]

open up what you got in your mind to me. [pt.2 – saja boys.]

they've never met someone like you — a mortal who almost knew them .. better than they knew themselves. for the boys, it's annoyingly intriguing. for the girls, it's comforting.

paring(s): huntrix & saja boys x demon expert!gn!reader

warning(s:) EVERYTHING IN HERE IS A PART TWO TO THIS !! some movie changes, probably effected lore that makes no sense for the sake of the narrative, a little angst at the beginning

request | tags: @blueberrysquire @akariis4snowball @j0ykill

a/n: this is part 2 !! i had sooo many ideas for huntrix that i had to make another part for the saja boys so that it wasn't so long . this part isn't as good but i liked it so ☆☆☆

that night huntrix defeated gwima was a blur. all you remember was the zombie mob of fans, half of the fight, and the use of your aura vision to raise the saja boys above the honmoon before it glimmered in gold. jinu, who gave his newly found soul for rumi, was practically reincarnated through her sword – standing in front of her post-concert, arms open for her to fall into with tears from the both of them. everyone else? well, they felt lost.

the saja boys weren't sure what to do anymore. jinu was overjoyed, of course, but the boys knew nothing more beyond gwima and their mission. they didn't care much about music, nor their fans – which huntrix still couldn't wrap their minds around – and it's not like they had secret human hobbies. they never had time for that. until now.

post-gwima, they stayed in an apartment near the huntrix penthouse, trying to figure out their new lives. for the most part, they spent most of their time under your watch – to make sure they didn't go cause chaos – but also .. under your study.

you were weird to them

they weren't used to someone other than them.. knowing them

their capabilities, their knowledge, their origins.

actually jinu found your extensive understanding of what he is to be kind of comforting

he noticed how you never really drooled over them

you'd stare, sure, but in the same way an art critic would stare at a painted blue canvas with a smeared red dot in the middle

he felt like that red dot – unexplained but you somehow understood

when he told you about his past, it was a lot for him – talking about his cruel choice

but you.. didn't judge him.

in fact, you wrote it down in your notebook immediately, the one you never let the boys get too close to

he accepted you into his life when he entertained your interest in his history

unlike him, however, the other boys were uninterested

at first anyway

thank jinu for getting them to talk to you btw

it took a little bit of convincing – telling them that you wanted to give them something more than just gwima

even though they didn't want it ...

REGARDLESS they hang out around the penthouse

because they're no longer saja boys (uninterested and unsupported by any demon staff anymore)

they really had nothing to do but mildly annoy your personal space

including being the center of your attention when the girls are out

mira gave you one rule, "living room and bathroom. only." and you've succeeded so far. abby and romance were talking by the large scale windows, mystery was playing some game with baby (and obviously winning), and jinu sat in the middle of the couch, watching whatever movie rumi put on for him. you sat beside him, sketching in your one and only personal researcher book. your pencil drew out what you felt like was the final line in mystery's hair ... before you huffed, erasing it, and trying again.

that was... until the littlest demon startled you.

"mystery, they're drawing you." bored of his game, baby peered over your shoulder, only passively curious and really wanting to mess with you. heads turned at your exposure to the room, especially jinu, who looked over your other shoulder at the sketch you did of him earlier.

"you're.. sketching us?" the direct ask made you a bit nervous, especially being under so many eyes. (kind of. mystery was more just.. generally facing your direction.) "'weakness.. chest?' are you taking notes on us?" you stood up, nearly defensive, turning around to face the couch trio.

"if it weren't for your old friends, i wouldn't have to write it all down again." the boys went quiet, remembering the origin of your knowledge and powers. "i'm just.. tired of keeping it all inside. i need to get it out somewhere."

romance, true to his name, leaned over your shoulder, putting you both in a proximity much closer than you've ever had to experience before.

"then why don't we do something.. a little more fun .. to help you get it all out?"

normally sentences like that from him sound way more suggestive than he means them to be

but this time he came up with an actual solution to release your closed up, ready-to-pop-out-of-your-skin knowledge

they gave you a one way trip to infodump station ! an interview !

they wanted to learn more about you anyways

their fellow demons down below were the ones to wipe out your ancestors

not them

and they make sure you know it too

but they can't help but feel .. a little, tiny bit bad that you're now just a living library

a time capsule, holding onto so much information that you're about to burst 24/7

they had never met a researcher honestly

you intrigued them as much as they did for you

how much did you really know ?? did you know anything or is all this antsy behavior a ploy to make it look like you knew everything when you really knew nothing ??

their disguises were perfectly created to make every little fan fall for their attractiveness the second they looked at the boys

but you never drooled at them or had your eyes pop out of your head

you just always... stared. processing. tracing mindfully.

they didn't know what you were really abut. but they were about to find out. and really test your persona.

romance sat relaced in a chair as you circled him, pencil taking note of everything you noticed. how his markings were sharp, not rounded like rivers, how his skin was cooled, not burning hot. all things you already knew, but you found small comfort in knowing not much changed. you took a deep breath around his hair, nose scrunching up. he smiled, taking your cheek in his hand.

"new cologne." his voice was smooth, gentle. traditionally alluring. "just for you. do you like it?" he turned up his flirtatiousness, pulling you in closely, testing the waters of your focus.. before you turned away to start writing, completely uneffected.

"so many generations and you guys still smell like flames.." you mumbled to yourself.

"would you rather we smell like bubblegum?" baby tried to sass you, but you were too focused on the sharpness of his teeth to care. you stepped towards him, eyes widened.

"can demons still tear apart brick with the force of their canines?" you asked, rather close to his face. for a moment, he almost felt like the flustered one.

"yes..? no? i-i don't know." he crossed his arms, childishly. "i don't go around biting bricks." you jot it down still as you move towards abby. he's deeply relaxed, leaning back on the couch, comfortable shirt riding up to expose his famously toned abs. your eyes trail off of your notebook and they think.. they've got you.

"like what you see?" he teases. "you can touch them, you know." a bold move that brings you closer, nails tracing his skin. they're almost disappointed that abby is the one who stole your attention.. before they realize you're attention isn't stolen at all. you're drawing his markings with careful detail.

"where did yours come from? rumi's started forming on her arm when she was a kid, but they haven't reached her stomach yet. they grow with time, right? how old would that make you then..?" you dissolve into mutters they can barely decipher. "oh!! mystery!" he almost jumps behind the couch when you race over to him, making jinu laugh from the sidelines of their attempts to flirt with you. "i've never seen a demon sparkle! that's new.. is that just you? or is there a whole subspecies of sparkling demons? or is it your human disguise..?" your questions nearly overwhelm him, enough to make him forget how he's supposed to flirt with you, but romance pulls you away, whispering in your ear.

"it's not just him." he smiles, hand on your shoulder. "you're sparkling, too, sweetheart." if anyone could fluster anyone, it'd be him, even if it takes two rounds. his thumb runs against your chin. "you look so cute in this lighting, like a rose."

"speaking of which, what's the flora like down there? are there any? do they eat demons or are they like.. regular flowers? we knew more of demons than of gwima's realm. did they smell? i bet they might have.. would it be nostalgic or torturing?"

the boys share a look, and sigh. you went off into high speed muttering again.

you really were everything you said

uninterested in their flirts and more in knowledge

that almost made them like you more..

in the following times after the interview, they greeted you a bit more casually – sometimes cheerfully, asking if you had any new drawings or trivia you wanted to get off your chest

how did you . tame them !? does the whole hard to get thing actually work !?

it confused the girls wildly

but to see them adjusting to being here through someone who actually understood them instead of lying around, empty and lost, was a pick-me-up in the mornings

one morning, after being delivered a coffee, handsigned by the boys, you felt something click in your head, a sensation you had never felt before, and reached to put it in your notebook immediately

"demons, when properly befriended, like to be understood. they brought me coffee. do demons like coffee??"

[kilojulietsierra]

It Means Family (Dr. Jack Abbot x FemNurse!Reader) Oneshot

Based on this request from @pear-1206 : Jack Abbot x fem reader. She had a younger brother (you can give him a name if you want) who is a bit skeptical toward Jack since he's very protective of her. She had been his guardian since their parents died and he was practically being raised at the Pitt by everyone. Jack is friends with her and helps her with everything until their feelings change toward each other. He accepted Jack as his sister's bf but still held his opinion because he didn't want to see her hurt. After some time, Jack knew that he wanted to marry her and wanted her brother's permission. Maybe a series of attempts of Jack trying to gain it and the boy just messing up with him😆😆. Maybe after he's given it, she asks her brother to handoff her at her wedding. Maybe you can do it in two parts or just a long one shot. Either way, it's up to you. Suggestive, friend to lovers, kisses, etc. Ask me if anything. Tag me later!!! Thanks!!! :))? (I hope I did okay!)

~~~~~~

He had been there the night you got the call.

You wouldn't even have answered it, it had been a crazy night, but after the fifth time your phone vibrated in your pocket you got a sick feeling in your stomach.

You had dropped to the floor in the middle of the ED, your vision blurred, heart rate pounding in your ears. Blurred images of Lena and Ellis running your way, then Jack appeared.

Through your blurry vision and ringing ears you could almost see him, almost hear him saying your name. "Tell me what's wrong."

"They're gone..." It didn't sound like you talking, more like an echo, someone elses voice. "They're gone."

Then it was bereavement leave, a long flight to Honolulu, two coffins, a twenty one gun salute and a folded flag. A house on base you had 48 hours to pack up and clear out. A kid brother well over a decade younger than you that just had the whole world fall out from under him.

Night shift changed to day shift, late nights out with friends changed to school drop offs. Everything changed.

If you had worked anywhere else you weren't sure you would have made it through the first year. Lena, Dana, Bridget and Perlah, every one of them a Godsend. Without them, without Robby, and Cassie, Mateo, Princess, Frank and his wife, without them you would have drown under the weight of all of it.

You had loved night shift, but there was no way to keep that schedule and take care of your brother. You loved Robby, he was a great attending to work with, a great chief, but he wasn't Jack.

It didn't take long for you to start finding reasons to show up early if you could, or stay a little late, just to be on Jacks shift even for a few minutes. He never made a big deal about it, but he did always take the time to check in. If you were okay, if Marcus was doing ok, if you needed anything. "If either of you need anything, don't ever hesitate to ask. Okay?" There was no doubt in your mind that he meant it.

~~~~~~

"Did it hurt?"

"Yeah bud, it hurt. Still does some days." Jack had his pantleg pulled up and Marcus was staring intently at the titanium and fiberglass that made up Jack's prosthesis.

"Marcus!" You hissed at him across the counter.

"He's fine." Jack had turned to look at you over his shoulder with a smile, "Just curious. Nothing wrong with that."

"Sissy, have you seen Dr Jacks fake leg?" Your little brother looked up at you from his seat on the floor, eyes wide.

You had to try not to flush from the embarrassment, "Yeah Marc, I've seen it. It's called a prosthesis though, not a fake leg. Okay?"

Your brother nodded, fumbled over the word, "Prosthesis." He nodded again, "Can I touch it."

"Marcus!" You thought you'd drop dead.

Jack just busted out in a laugh.

"Go grab your stuff out of the breakroom, please." You pointed towards the door, "We need to go." Once Marcus was gone you through a pleading look at Jack, "Dr Aboot, I am so sorry."

He stood up, shook his head with a smile, "Don't be, he's fine. Just wants to know how stuff works is all."

You gave him an apologetic smile and changed the subject, "How's night shift been?"

"We get by, not the same without you though."

"Oh I'm sure." You laughed it off but it spiked your heart rate none the less.

~~~~~

It had felt silly at first. The little crush you had always harbored for Dr. Abbot. Not in any gross or even serious way really. Just... appreciation.

You thought that it would fade after everything and with the switch to days, but instead it seemed to have magnified it. Every moment no matter how brief now had your stomach spinning and your heart racing. You lived for the little moments between shifts and had finally started to admit to yourself that you had started to seek them out. Not just to visit, to catch up with your old team mates, but because it felt good. Exilerhating.

That particular night though, you hadn't meant to see Jack. Honestly you hadn't wanted to see anyone. You had parked yourself on a bench outside the ER, grateful at first that Dana had let you slip out a little early. Then the heaviness had settled over you.

Abbot had seen you, stood and watched for a moment from the ambulance bay before heading towards you. He approached cautiously and his voice was soft, "Hey, everything okay?"

Your stomach dropped. Embarrasment, guilt, something else. "Yeah, yeah, just... needed a minute I guess."

He stared at you. Nothing new. Then he glanced at his watch and the hospital then back to you. His bag thudded on the sidewalk and he groaned softly as he settled into the bench beside you. "Want to try that again? More convincing this time?"

The laugh tasted sour, "Everything's totally fine!" You hadn't realized you had felt like crying until just then.

Jack nodded, a slim smirk at your attempt. "Where's Marcus?"

"Perlah's mom picked him up and took them over for a sleepover."

He nodded again, "That's good. Boys'll have fun."

You nodded in return and swiped at your eyes. "He talked about it all night last night, all morning."

Jack leaned his elbows on his knees and turned to try and catch your eye. "So, want to tell me what's going on?"

"I don't..." You choked out another laugh, "I would if I knew. I don't even know. How stupid is that? I just feel..."

"Exhausted? Alone? Like maybe you don't want to go home to an empty house?"

You turned to look at him so fast it made him chuckle.

"I recognize that look. I know it well."

"How stupid is that?"

"Not at all."

You were both quiet for a long moment before you added, "I don't know how I ended up here. I don't know what I'm doing. I just..."

"You're doing great. Marcus is a good kid. Just need to take care of yourself too." Jack finished for you with an encouraging grin. "Go home and enjoy your night off. Drink too much, watch trashy TV, stay up late." He smiled a little wider at your chuckle. "Or go do something, go out while you have the chance."

You laughed again, harsh and still a little rough, "Go out? You're funny."

Jack grinned a little wider, "Well then go home, enjoy your night off." He stood up and grabbed his bag and then grabbed yours too. He held it out to you and used your grip on the bag to pull you to your feet. Once you finally looked him in the eye, still fighting back the tears, his smile softened slgihtly. There was something else behind it though.

"Next time you have the night to yourself, I'll take you out."

The expression on his face never changed, he just held your gaze, nodded after a moment and then gave you a quick wink before turning away and heading into the ED.

For several long moments you stood there, watching Dr Abbot walk across the street, totally taken off guard.

~~~~~

Before dinner with Jack you thought were going to have a panic attack. You'd paced your apartment, made Marcus and the sitter both stare at you oddly, came up with a dozen excuses to cancel. You only came up with one reason to follow through though; you really, really wanted to.

After dinner with Jack you couldn't even begin to remember any of the reasons you had panicked. When he stopped you a few feet short of your door and pulled you into a kiss you thought you were going to pass out. Your head spun so fast all you could do was hold onto him and hope he could keep you on your feet. Of course he did, strong arms holding you close and keeping you steady. He chuckled against your lips when a little moan escaped and you flushed with embarrassment as he pulled away to look at you.

"Not gonna lie, I've wanted to do that for a long time." He cracked a smile and studied your face as his hands smoothed over your waist.

When you could think straight you nodded, eyes stuck on his lips, "You should have done it sooner."

Jack chuckled again as he settled his lips back over yours and walked you the last few feet to your door. "I'll make it up to you, if you let me."

You moaned again and your grip on his shoulders tightened. You glanced over your shoulder at the door, conflicted, but Jack grabbed your chin and pulled you back to look at him.

He gave you a quick kiss and shook his head, "Not tonight hon." Another longer kiss, and he kept his voice low, "He's gonna have a bunch of questions if I walk in there right now."

"He always has a bunch of questions." You laugh and lean your forehead against his shoulder.

Jack wraps his arms around you fully and chuckles, breath warm against your ear. "Yes he does." He dropped a kiss there, and then selfishly dropped a longer, heated one against the side of your neck. Not pulling away until you shivered and pushed him back. Eye to eye again he gave you that look, the one you knew and loved so well, "We'll figure it out."

You nodded, smiling, heart racing, "Yeah we will."

~~~~~

"How old are you?"

"So old."

"Have you seen Lilo & Stitch?"

"I have not."

"Would you let me have a pet alien?"

"That would depend on the alien I guess."

"We lived in Hawaii. Have you been to Hawaii?"

"Once, while I was in the Army. I've even been to the base your Dad was stationed out of."

"Did you see his boat!?"

"I'm not sure, bud."

"Are you missing any other body parts?"

"Just the leg?"

"Are you a vampire?"

"Would I be out in the middle of the day if I was?"

"Can you make cheeseburgers?"

"Awesome cheeseburgers."

"Have you ever had an actual girlfriend before?"

"Yeah bud, I've had a girlfriend before."

"Have you and Sissy kissed?"

"Yes, your sister and I have kissed. More than once."

"Was it gross?"

"Not even a little bit." Jack was enjoying himself way too much as Marcus bombarded him with questions from the backseat of the truck. More specifically Jack was enjoying the way you were slumped against the window hiding your face in your hand trying not to laugh or cry.

"Marcus, I think that's enough questions." You gave Jack a pleading look, silently begging him to shut it down.

"Dr. Jack said I could ask anything I wanted."

Jack smirked at you, eyes hiding behind dark sunglasses, but you knew they were shining with glee at your suffering. "He's right, that's what I said."

"Are you going to make me eat vegetables?"

"Does Sissy make you eat vegetables?"

"Yes." Marcus mumbled.

"Then yes, I'm gonna make you eat your vegetables." Jack reached across the console and grabbed your hand. He gave it squeeze when you finally looked his way you couldn't help but smile. Jack looked over his shoulder at your little brother, "So, when do I get to start asking questions?"

"That's not fair!"

"Oh yes it is and I think it's miy turn."

~

Jack was sitting at your kitchen counter watching you make a cup of coffee, still half asleep. "What's Marcus up to today?"

You sipped the coffee while it was still hot enough to burn, "Perlah took the boys to some action park thing they just built on her end of town, gokarts, mini golf, all that."

"Should be fun. What's that gonna cost you?" Jack smirked, content to watch you wake up and sip your coffee.

"Five shifts in a row. So, they can take a long weekend." You pushed off the counter and came around like you were going to sit in the stool next to Jack.

Instead he grabbed you gently by the hips and pulled you to him, settling you between his legs with his arms around you. "You sure you don't want me to leave you alone? You can just relax today if you need to."

You let out a grumble, the meaning of it not entirely clear, but the way your weight sunk into him Jack took it to mean he should stay right where he was. It feels good to hold you like this. Head on his shoulder, face buried in his neck, and all of your weight against him with no doubt he would hold you up. "Don't know why I'm so tired," You mumbled into his neck, "Feel like I'm the one that worked last night."

Jack squeezed you tighter, "Why don't you go lay down? No reason you can't be lazy for awhile."

You grumble again, your coffee cup gets set on the counter and then you quietly ask, "Come lay down with me?"

For a second Jack froze, a dozen thoughts racing through his mind. He moved his hands back to your hips and just as quietly he whispered into your hair, "Can do that if you want." He dropped a kiss on the crown of your head and had to bite back a smile when you nodded against his shoulder. "Okay, c'mon."

Before you could stand up straight Jack had a hold of the backs of your thighs and hoisted you up to carry you down the hall. Your arms and legs wrapped around him tight and he was pleasantly surprised when you didn't act surprised, didn't argue or give him a hard time. Just let him carry you to bed.

~~~~~

A few hours later you woke up, warm and comfortable, one of Jacks arms under your head like a pillow and the other wrapped around your middle. When you sighed and shifted deeper into his hold, the arm around you tightened and you felt him press a kiss to the back of your head.

"What time is Marcus going to be back?" He sounded like maybe he had nodded off for a bit as well, his voice rough and raw.

"After lunch sometime. Sent them money for pizza." You couldn't bring yourself to open your eyes. Didn't want to do anything that meant you would have to get out of bed yet. Not when Jack was there with you, finally.

He nuzzled into the back of your hair and kissed you again, "Ready to get up?"

You shook your head and shuffled back, just a little closer to Jack, eyes still closed. "Aren't you normally asleep by now?"

Jack just hummed, spread his one hand wide over your torso, his thumb brushing over the fabric of your shirt. "Took a nice nap." His breath was warm and suddenly directly beside your ear. When you shivered and moved to shift your hips back, his hand moved from your stomach to your hip and clamped down, stopping you. "Stay right there." His grip softened, but his hand stayed put.

In an instant your heart began to race, "Why?"

"Because we're cuddling, and it's nice."

You bit your lip, hearing Dr Jack Abbot say 'cuddle' nearly making you giggle. "Feels good."

Behind you Jack chuckled, something a little extra behind it. "Yeah it does." He chuckled again when you tried to move, "Hon, I said stay there."

When the thought finally occurred to you you chuckled with him, "Dr. Abbot, is something wrong?" "

Jesus." His hand on your hip squeezed harder than he'd ever gripped you, "Yes and that's not fucking helping." Jack let out a painful groan when you freed your hand from your blankets to pry his fingers lose from your hip. Not that you had to try very hard, he let you move him easily, pull his arm back around you again and finally shift your hips back flush with his. "Jesus Christ." He breathed out as both his arms caged you against him.

A shudder ran down your spine, his breath against you neck, his lips, the muscles in his arms and chest flexing as he held you tight and the shameless way he caved in ground his erection against your ass. Another giggle escaped you, this one breathy and unsteady.

"Happy now?" Jack teased as his kissed the back of your neck.

"Yes." You shifted back against him again, testing the waters, and smiling when his breath rushed out him. "What time is it?"

He twisted the arm under you so he could see his watch, "Little after ten."

You took a deep breath, building up the courage, your desire doing a lot of the work for you, "I'm not tired anymore."

Jack had always known you too well, and you were so grateful for that because that was all you had to say for him to snap. His hands moved exactly where he wanted them as he coaxed you to turn your head to kiss him. If the kiss hadn't knocked the wind out of you already his words would have.

"You're gonna be."

~~~~

Jack was still there when Marcus came home, changed from his scrubs into the spare jeans and shirt he kept in his backpack. He'd stayed out of sight while Perlah and you chatted by the door, neither of you quite ready for that round of questioning just yet. Or the dozens that would follow.

Your heart did a little flip in your chest when Marcus lit up upon realizing Jack was there. Your brother immediately began to explain in excruciating detail all the excitement of the adventure park and Jack seemed more than content to listen.

You watched from the kitchen, hair still wet from the shower you had taken after spending the last couple hours of your morning in bed with Jack. Your heart flipped again when you heard Marcus ask, "What are you doing here anyway?" No filter, your brother still had no filter.

Jack threw you a look and the tiniest smirk before he answered, "Came by to see your sister after work. Thought maybe I'd hang out here today and we could go out to eat later. Sound okay?"

"Yeah! Can we go to that steak place again?"

"Marc, we don't need to go someplace quite that nice."

"Why not?" He looked at you a little put out.

Jack turned to look at you again, barely holding back a full on smirk, "Yeah hon, why not?."

You knew your face had betrayed your thoughts, because that smug asshole smiled, actually smiled. "Because it's pricey" You snark back at him even as he makes his way around the counter to come stand behind you.

He sets his hands on your hips and pulls you close, "So?" He pries. Then quieter, just for you he adds, "We're celebrating."

"Stop it." You hissed at him, a flush creeping up your neck. You did your best to ignore the feel of him chuckling behind you and turned your attention back to your brother, "We aren't going anywhere until you finish your homework anyway."

"SIssy… It's Saturday." He dropped himself onto the couch dramatically.

"And we made a deal that you could go this morning and have fun if you promised to finish your homework this afternoon."

"But Dr Jack is here, we can go do fun stuff!"

Jack must have felt your deep sigh because he held you a little tighter and kissed the back of your head. He whispered, "If he get's it done can I take you guys to dinner?"

You hummed in thought and dropped your head back against his shoulder, "Ok Marc, how about you get all your work done, and then maybe we can all go to Saltfork for dinner? Seem fair?"

"Can I have the brownie skillet thing!?" He launched back up off the couch with wide eyes.

Behind you Jack full out laughed and all you could do was pinch the bridge of your nose, "We'll see."

He did a little touchdown dance in the middle of the living room and then sprinted to his room.

Once you were alone Jack turned you around and pulled you closer. Stared into your eyes, smirk still firmly on his face.

"You don't have to bribe him to like you, you know? You're like the coolest person he knows." You wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your face in his shoulder.

"Maybe I just like spoiling you both a little. Ever think of that?" His one hand slid down to cup your ass and squeeze. "Plus, like I said, we're celebrating." He snorted when you bit his chest through his t-shirt.

"Stop being so smug or it's not going to happen again." You mumbled.

Jack smirked, slipped his hand up and under the back of your shirt, warm against your bare skin, "So, you do want it to happen again?"

For a minute your embarrassment kept you silent, but you nodded and spoke into his shirt, "As often as possible."

That must have made him happy because Jack didn't say anything. He simply tipped your face up to his and kissed you. Deep, long, slow kisses that made your pulse skyrocket.

"Eww. Dr. Jack will you help me with my homework?" Marcus had reappeared.

Jack gave you one last kiss and a wink before he pulled back, "Yeah bud, what d'ya got?" He gave your hip a squeeze and then followed after Marcus as the boy ran back into his room.

~~~~~

"Is Jack going to move in?" Marcus asked one night while it was just the two of you eating dinner in the living room, watching Lilo & Stich. A treat for the both of you, acting like bums after a long week and watching a favorite movie. Even if Marcus swore it was for little kids. Never mind he knew it word for word and had watched it a thousand times.

"Jack has his own house Marc, he owns it. He's not going to move into an apartment with us." You fought down the nerves already spinning in your stomach.

"He's here a lot and normally, if you two had been together this long, you'd be living together. Right?" Marcus was a teenager now and you kind of sort of hated it. Raising your little brother was one thing, quote unquote raising your teenage brother was another game entirely.

Jack had been in Marcus's life for years now in one way or another. First as a friend of yours, then as your boyfriend, now it was clear that Jack Abbot was playing a big part in the young man your brother was becoming.

"Maybe." You pause to sip your drink, buy yourself time, "It's not always that simple though."

Your brother is quiet for a minute, watches the movie and shoves a handful of fries in his mouth. "So, are we going to move in with him?"

A week later he had asked Jack the same question. You had to work so Jack had gone to Marc's baseball game on his own. After the game they'd gone through the drivethru for food and while they waited Marc asked, "Would you want Sissy to live with you?"

Jack had a hell of a poker face, but he still nearly let it slip at that. "What do you mean?"

"If It was just you and her? You'd want to live together right?"

"Where's this coming from?"

"Just curious."

Jack thought for a minute, let the truck roll a few more feet ahead in the line. "Would you want to live with me?" He turned the question on the boy.

Marcus stared out the window, "I'd think it'd be kinda cool I guess."

"Don't think it would be weird?" Jack found himself getting his hopes up.

"Do you know how many times I have to explain to people you're not my Dad, you're my sisters boyfriend? It's already weird."

He couldn't help but laugh. Jack nodded a couple of times, "Fair enough."

~~~~~

In the middle of Jacks living room surrounded by storage totes you stood up to catch your breath and squint across the room at Jack, "Do you ever feel like we've been manipulated by a thirteen year old boy that just wanted a bigger bedroom?"

"Not a doubt in my mind." Jack laughs as he sets another tote down. "But," He closes the distance between the two of you and grabs your hips. Pulling you to him by the waistband of your shorts, "Jokes on him, I'm the one getting what I wanted all along."

You let him kiss you, enjoyed the butterflies in your stomach from making out in the middle of the house that would be your house now, not just his. Then you pulled away, "Have you ever lived with a teenage boy? You might regret this."

"I've lived in barracks." He pulls you back to him with a grin, "I've lived in a canvas tent in the middle of the desert, with twenty other dudes barely old enough to drink with no showers and eating MREs for three meals a day." You grinned along with him, while he made his point. "Think I can handle one thirteen year old boy." He sobered a little, eyes scanning your face, "Especially if it means I get you here in bed with me." Jack kissed you again, intention behind it this time as his fingers traced the waistband of your cutoffs.

When his fingers settled on the button you couldn't help but giggle against his lips, "Supposed to be unpacking." You still let your arms wrap around his shoulders, fingers combing through the curls at the nape of his neck.

"You're very distracting." He dropped his gaze down to his hands as they popped the button, "Especially in these fucking shorts." His fingers moved to the zipper, pulling it open so slowly.

"So I should probably get rid of them?" You teased, but it came out breathless and jittery as he walked you back towards the couch.

Jack bobbed his head to the side as he moved to kiss you again, "No, but you should definitly take them off."

~~~~~

The number of times you watched Jack over the years, sit down with Marc and talk about anything and everything. Talk through the loss of your parents, missing out on sports team tryouts, girl troubles, trouble with friends, life in general. From the time he was a young boy and barely knew Jack beyond Dr. Jack, Sissy's friend, Marcus had always seemed to see Jack as a source of knowledge and little to no judgement.

Bad behavior that sent you up the wall was nothing to Jack. A simple conversation or at worst a hard look and it was handled. To the point that you wondered what you would have done without him if it had just been you and Marcus.

Then one night while you were out with friends, something you were finally able to do again, Jack got a call. He nearly didn't answer, because he didn't recognize the number, but he was glad he did.

He didn't speak for a long while when he entered the hallway where Marc and his three friends were sat. He simply stared them all down. When he did finally break the silence, it wasn't the sisters boyfriend Jack that spoke. It was former Army NCO Jack Abbot, Dr Jack Abbot. Stone faced he simply said, "Explain."

To Marc's credit he stood up straight, looked Jack in the eye and told the truth. Something that went a long way.

Jack took him home, the drive long and painfully quiet, and when they got home he sat him down at the kitchen to wait for you to come home.

In bed that night you had stared at the ceiling. "At least it was just a gummy. RIght? And it came from a store."

Jack grumbled next to you. You both had lectured him on how dangerous it was to take any substance when you didn't know what it was for sure or where it had come from. Anyone could say they got it from a friend of a friend that was old enough. "He's a good kid, hon. He's smart. He told the truth and that's what matters I think. Just did a dumb teenager thing."

"Thank you for going and getting him."

"Of course."

You moved closer and cuddled into him, "I'm glad he has you."

~~~~~

One morning later that summer you were getting ready for work, watching Jack in the mirror as he slipped on his running blade.

Like always Jack sensed you, knew what you were thinking before you could say it out loud. "Coach told Marc if he wanted to make JV next year he needs to work harder." He stood up and shifted his weight back and forth on the specialized prosthesis. "So, he wants to start working out with me this summer." Jack came up behind you, eyes locked on yours in the mirror. "We'll see how he feels after today."

"Is it weird I think it's kinda sexy when you put that thing on?" You chuckled as he grabbed your hips.

"Yeah, it's weird." He dropped a kiss to the side of your neck, "I like weird though." You elbow him in the side and he only laughs, smacks your ass, "Have a good day, baby."

While he and Marcus jog around the neighborhood Jack can't help but let his mind wander. Half of him paying attention to Marcus talking about being able to take his driving test soon, and that he would need a car. The other half of his mind though, was occupied with a different conversation he needed to have with your brother.

Jack was a little ashamed to admit it took him the whole three miles to build up the guts to do it. They were walking down the street towards the house, cooling off. "Marc, I want to ask you something."

Your brother was still more than a little winded from the run, which honestly made jack feels a little better about himself, "Okay."

"How would you feel if your sister and I got married?" Just get it over with.

Marcus didn't answer right away, when he did it caught Jack off guard. "Why?"

"What do you mean why? Because we love each other, been together for years, because I want to."

"No, I mean," Marcus sucked in a deep breath, "Like, why now? You said it, you guys have been together for like ever."

Jack rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses, had to remind himself that to Marcus it was forever. Nearly half the boys life Jack and you had been together by that point. "Honestly bud, you're old enough now that her life doesn't revolve around you like it used to." Jack had always made a point in his relationship with your brother to be as upfront as possible. "You're older now, more mature. When you were a kid I didn't want to get in the way of you and her. That was more important." He didn't know if that made sense at all, to anyone but him.

Marc nodded as they crossed a street and after a few minutes he finally responded, "Is it alright if I don't know how I feel?"

"Of course it is." Jack stopped at the corner, knew that Marcus would follow his lead, "I love your sister, think you know that, and I love you too. It's important to me that you'd be okay with it."

"So, have you already asked her to marry you or something?"

He shook his head, "No, not yet. I wanted to talk to you first. Man to man."

Marcus nodded, "Nothing... nothing would really change right?"

Jack could see that kid in him then, the one that had once upon a time had the whole world ripped out from under him. "Not really. She might take my last name, that would be about it. It'll be easier for her to get my benefits and everything if something happened, but no, life will be pretty much the same."

"If you couldn't marry her? Are you going to get pissed?"

"Don't say pissed, especially around your sister. We'll both get in trouble. No bud, if she doesn't want it I'm not going anywhere."

"So, is this like, if our Dad was alive and you were going to ask for his permission to marry Sissy or something?"

Jack laughed, "Not quite, but sure you can think of it that way if you want."

"What if I said no?"

There was something in the kids eyes that Jack recognized all too well. "Then we're turning around and doing another three miles." Jack shoved him jokingly, "So, don't get a big head."

Marcus laughed as he caught his balance, "I don't know how I really feel about it I guess," He started as the two of them kept walking, "But, I think it would make her happy."

Jack didn't expect the stab of emotion in his chest. "Well, then how about you think on it and we can talk about it again later?"

It took Marc less than 24 hours to come back and tell Jack he thought it would be a good idea and then threaten him that if he broke your heart Jack would have him to deal with. Jack had laughed but nodded, "Understood."

~~~~~~

You had cried when Jack proposed to you, but now you could not quit smiling. Sprawled across his chest you stared at your hand in front of you, the diamond he had put on your finger, smiling.

Jack had one arm behind his head, but his other hand was drawing lazy patterns over your bare back, perfectly content to watch you in that moment. "Maybe I should have asked sooner."

Your eyes snapped back to his, "No, this is perfect." You moved to crawl up to meet him, kiss him, humming happily at the feeling of his two rough, warm hands settling low on your hips and then smoothing up your sides, over your back.

"Yeah?" He asked quietly, lips brushing over yours as he looked up at you, watching you intently.

"Perfect." You lowered more of your weight over him and he wrapped his arms around you, kissed you deeper. "Everything is perfect." You moaned when his hands moved back to your hips, pulling you straddle him. "I'm so happy Jack, you've always made me happy."

Jack nodded, cradled the back of your head and spoke directly against your lips, "Good. That's all I want hon," He paused to kiss you, the love and the meaning behind it bone deep, "Just want to make you happy."

You lost yourselves in it for a moment, kissing and touching eachother, both of you coming to terms with the knowledge that this would be the rest of your life. Jack was finally, officially, going to be a part of your tiny, broken little family. The missing piece that had brought it all together.

Suddenly you laughed, unable to stop it.

Jack grumbled, fingers dug into your hips, "Something funny?"

"I'm sorry." You kissed him, traced his tongue with yours in apology, "I just thought of something."

"Oh yeah?" Jacks eyes were laser focused as you sat up, still straddling his hips, your hands coming to rest on his torso. He let his hands slid down your thighs to rest, "Want to share?"

You bit your lip, "It's slly."

Jack just stared up at you, waiting. "Ohana."

Jack watched you, gently shook his head to say he wasn't tracking.

"Lilo & Stitch?"

Jack furrowed his brow, then shook his head, still confused. Marcus had forced him to watch the with him plenty of times when he was younger. Even still Jack would find the two of you on the couch watching the kids movie. He hadn't really put much thought into it.

"It's us." You shrugged and looked away for a second, "We watched it once, I'd only had Marcus with me for maybe... a month, if even, and I had no idea what to do so we watched movies. Like all the time." You nodded to yourself at the memories, your fingers absently tracing over the lines of muscle and a few scattered scars over Jacks chest and abdomen. "He said one day, ' Sissy! it's us.' and it is. A lost, sad, lonley, little kid, and an older sister just trying to do her best, but has no fucking clue what she's doing. Just trying to do what she can after their parents died. It's even set in Hawaii." You snorted out a laugh, "It's stupid but it was nice at the time, to see that, for both of us I think." You took a deep breath and smiled down at him.

"It means family?" Jack finally nodded, understanding he thought, his hold on you tightening, "It's little and broken, but still good, right? That's what they say?"

You nod, eyes burning again. Jack watches you, his eyes taking in all of you and then the corner of his mouth ticks up, "Does that make me the surfer dude boyfriend? WIth the muscles and the floppy hair that follows her around like a kicked puppy?"

The laugh rips out of you before you can stop it and you smack him across the chest, "I think it does." You're smiling like an idiot again as you stroke your hands over his strong core and chest, trace your fingers over the corded muscles in his arms and then you lean down. One hand combing through the graying curls you loved and your lips brushing over his. "Technically fiance."

~~~~~

It felt strange to be back in Hawaii. The last time you were here was for your parents funeral. So many emotions. You had woke up early, your internal clock messed up, but it gave you an excuse to sit and watch the sky light up over the early morning breakers. Your heart skipped a beat when Jacks arms wrapped around you from behind, his lips brushing over the side of your neck. You dropped your weight back into him, happy to feel him take it easily, keep you standing like he'd always done.

"Second thoughts?" He whispered against your ear, arms wrapped tight around you.

"Not a chance. You're stuck now, no getting out of it."

Jack hummed, a hint of a laugh in it, "Damn." His lips moved down your neck, over your shoulder. He didn't have to see you to know you had rolled your eyes. "Don't have to be up for a long time yet, hon." His hands moved to slip beneath the shirt you had worn to bed.

"Are you telling me to come back to bed?" You couldn't help but smile as you dropped your head back against his shoulder, let yourself enjoy the moment.

"Asking nicely." He chuckled into the side of your neck, "For now.'

"Well," You started, turned in his arms, "Since you asked nicely." You wrapped your arms around Jacks neck and kissed him as you let him take you back to bed.

For a few more hours anyway.

Then he was waiting for you, looking so calm and confident, smiling at you while your heart felt like it was going to rip out of your chest.

Beside you Marcus gave your arm a squeeze, and then he gave you an easy smile. His eyes locked on yours and unwavering. God, there was so much of Jack in him now. The way your brother stood, the way he carried himself, the confidence and certainty on his face as the seventeen year old boy stood in for your father, ready to walk you across the beach and up to the alter.

There had been a time, after that phonecall that had brought you to your knees in the middle of the ED, that you thought your life was over. Far from it you realized, It was just beginning. Sure, maybe your PTMC family was going to be a little annoyed with you when you get back from your "family vacation" and find out you and Jack had eloped, but they'd forgive you. Eventually.

~~ The End ~~

[onetwistedmiracle]

Um, yes. Parents allowed their kids to roam freely in the 70's and 80's.

I'm a GenXer born in 1968. I had only one sibling and he is profoundly disabled with autism (basically non-verbal, has lived in a group home since he was 18) so he had a nanny starting when I was about 13 and after that I was more supervised than most of my peers. Nonetheless, ages 7 through 12 I could leave my home in the morning on a day when there was no school and not return until dinner. I had a watch from a very young age.

My parents told me not to leave the island (small residential island near Savannah, GA) and I obeyed them, but if I had disobeyed they wouldn't have known unless something had happened to me. They may or may not have had phone numbers for most of the houses I was likely to walk or bike to, but those were landlines, obviously, and only got answered when both possible and convenient.

These clips on youtube? Are not fake.

As I once said to a snarly Boomer when my own kids were still fairly small (I have 3 GenZ kids, now all in their 20s): "Nancy, when you were raising children, if something happened people would cry with you and bring you a casserole. Now if something happens, Mommy goes to jail."

Times have CHANGED.

And as @lightandwinged brings up, it is hardly true that children didn't get hurt back then. I was once sexually assaulted while walking home. A friend's little brother touched a spinning ... machine (I wish I could tell you what it was) installed in his backyard and lost the tips of three fingers. I have two friends my own age who grew up elsewhere in the USA who were both, separately, snatched up by a stranger and sexually assaulted.

I was myself once walking home (different story from the first sexual assault, sigh) and realized I was being followed by a car. I went to the first friend's house I could and called my mother to ask her to pick me up so I wouldn't have to risk whatever that driver might have had in mind. I felt lucky she was home to answer the phone.

Younger people will probably have difficulty believing this, but my mother refused to drive less than a mile to come get me, though I explained about the suspicious car. She told me I was making up a story so I wouldn't have to walk home. She called me lazy. She was not abusive. She was generally a good mother. But she was quite sure, on that occasion, that it was infinitely more likely that I was a lazy asshole than a child in any danger from a suspicious stranger.

Luckily my friends' parents were willing to let me hang out for a while, and by the time I felt safe to leave and try walking home again, the car was gone.

So it isn't that kids never got hurt back then. It isn't that kids never got deliberately targeted by bad people and therefore hurt, either. It's just that it was assumed "normal" and "ordinary" and even "correct" that children were given a great deal more freedom and autonomy.

I think it may well be because children are considered more "valuable" now, but in the way of gold or diamonds, unfortunately. Children are a valuable commodity. A valuable product. Not really so much in the way of "all human life is precious" and definitely not in the way of "every child needs every possible opportunity to grow into the most amazing adult they have the potential to become." If it were one of those we'd find ways to balance this equation. Because children do benefit from freedom and the ability to take some risks. They benefit quite a lot.

This is a legitimate and damaging cultural shift for all involved parties and it needs to be addressed.

[bewitched-hours]

Hehehehe nice food (Walks away with sus angst bluududx fem!child reader shaped throat)

and no i did not kiss the knife that i used to stab yu and bluudud >:3

ok enough angst time to move on-

So err the spectre removed reader memory but forgo to erase her memory of bluudud so reader slowly getting her memory back (if they hang out alot which yes they do)

i dunno if this is the last part or not just based on yu

-Kikiki Anon(i changed cus i don wanna be a kiclown no more)

... now, I'm not about to say I'm against making more of this because it feels eerily similar to Jane and John and those two already deserve happiness so fuck it, I'll turn this into a whole series if you want, Kikiki-

Like part 1 and part 2, reader gets She/Her~

Something must've cracked...

Something happened for your mind to suddenly have these flickers of your old self returning. And it didn't go unnoticed when it happened.

The first time was with 1x1x1x1, who was supposed to simply make sure that you wouldn't do anything stupid to yourself.

But she caught the way you quietly mumbled how cool he looked and her head practically snapped around to look at you in shock, meeting an unfamiliar sparkle in your eyes for mere seconds before it seemed to fizzle out and you were back to 'normal'.

But when he told the others, it caused them to pay a lot more attention to you and see if there was anything they could do to maybe cause these flickers purposefully.

So far it seemed that it was usually things you used to love talking about when you were still a survivor.

Pr3typriincess making you a bow in your favourite colour, C00lkidd asking you to play hide and seek for a change instead of tag, even Bluudud begrudgingly having you watch him play a game you showed interest in even though it felt boring to him and he had a hard time not complaining about it...

But it did bring you back... Somewhat...

You were never there for long but the more they tried, the longer you seemed to stay Lucid. The longer you were back and babbling praises to them for being such good friends to you.

The longer you seemed to remember...

At first it was scary when you remembered for longer than a few seconds, wondering why you were different and why you weren't with the survivors anymore.

But you gradually adjusted and would even begin to tell C00lkidd, Bluudud and Pr3typriincess about how the survivors took care of you. Especially 007n7.

You've mostly reacted to the other killers like C00lkidd would but weren't against just goofing off and going along with whatever was happening.

During rounds though... The Spectre would get a grip on you again and although it felt like all the progress was reset, you still remembered. You just needed time to adjust again.

Not that anyone really cared. You were just another kid in the cabin, usually off with one of the others to play games or gossip over tea.

But most of your time was taken by Bluudud wanting his ego-booster back.... Or so he claimed.

You could tell he was genuinely starting to enjoy his time with you but was too prideful to admit it. Rather lashing out at anyone that pointed it out or just denying it.

It didn't change the fact he would sometimes wake up from nightmares and look for you first to hold onto for comfort...

Anything you'd like to request/ask? Check out my pinned post first and I'll be happy to write up whatever you want!

[scimita]

oh woww im not usually a liushen shipper but this has me having THINKING and THOUGHTS and THINKING THOUGHTS.

As Liu Qingge starts leaving the sect more and more, and for longer periods of time, and avoiding (sometimes straight up ignoring) Shen Yuan, Shen Yuan has to come to terms with the fact that his best friend ended their friendship (he doesn't understand exactly why, was it because he bought Binghe to the sect before he was the right age to cultivate? Was it that he adopted Binghe but wasnt married? Did Liu Qingge just grow tired of him? ).

So, after months and months, Shen Yuan stops trying to figure out what set his best friend, Liu Qingge, Shidi off, figuring that Shidi probably has a good reason for not talking to him anymore and tries to mind his own business from then on. All is well! He's completely fine with this! He doesn't go to try and enter Bai Zhan anymore (the Bai Zhan disciples wouldn't let him anyway), he doesn't send letters (they were all left unanswered), he doesn't even ask the sect leader how his Shidi is doing (the pity in YQY eyes became a bit too much for him)!! Hes completely indifferent to this sudden change in his life and daily routine!! Everything is completely fine and he! is! handling! it!!!!!! Now, if everyone else would understand that and leave him alone about it, then he'd be even better!!!!

The only people that visit Shen Yuan and Shen Yuan visits are his brother and, urgh, Shang Qinghua. Though, lately, he's been too...busy...with work..... to attend tea time with his brother, totally not avoiding him because he's being interrogated everytime without fail about what exactly happened, even though Shen Yuan told his didi the truth the first time around (that Liu Qingge visited him to ask about the rumors and then met Binghe, ask about how long he's been Shen Yuan son, and the stormed off completely unprompted, and is now refusing to even look at him). Shang Qinghua just gets this look in his eyes everytime he visits and its making Shen Yuan uncomfortable (pity, Cucumber-bro, that you dont realise how whipped the War God is for you). But Shang Qinghua values being alive so he doesnt ask Shen Yuan about what happened.

So. Yeah. Shen Yuan is spending more and more time isolated, alone, lonely working on his peak. Binghe seems to be having a good time though so thats good. His fellow disciples have integrated him in their circles, he has friends, he attends classes like all the other kids (even if he quickly seems to outshine them), and he worries about spends time bonding with his a-die.

From Binghe's perspective, his a-die's very dear special friend has stopped visiting ever since Binghe came to the peak (the other disciples tell him of the courtship, of the visits, of the times his a-die didnt look like he was crying his eyes out every night instead of sleeping). A-die has reassured him time and time again that it's not his fault, that Binghe has done nothing wrong, that everything is fine and that he's not responsible for how adults react to his presence, and For God's sake, Binghe! Im not kicking you out of the sect because of Liu Qingge, who told you that ??!!!, and Stop apologizing, my sweet Binghe, you didn't ruin anything by being here, my son deserves only the best regardless of other's opinion on this matter.

Now. Let it be known that Liu Qingge is not having a good time. His long-time courtship partner has admitted to cheating on him and then proceeded to tell him it's none of his business what he does with his private life, so.

Liu Qingge is having a very bad time, actually. He's returned all the courtship gifts, has been ignoring and avoiding Shen Yuan, the love of his life, his Shixiong, and leaving the sect on progressively more dangerous missions. His own courtship gifts have yet to be returned, but it's understandable. Most of them were rare beasts with miraculous cultivation properties so they were eaten, or refined into pills, or something other he doesnt care about because he is not thinking about Shen Yuan right now. Though he told his disciples to leave the box of other gifts in front of his house in case he isnt on the peak, it has yet to arrive. He doesn't understand, didnt his Shixiong tell him his life has nothing to do with Liu Qingge's? Didn't he admit to loving another and having a child with them and then raising said child in secret? Is he just laughing about how pathetic and desperate Liu Qingge has been to believe he actually accepted his courtship that whole decade? Whatever. It doesn't matter. His Shixiong has made himself very clear and Liu Qingge is not one to ponder such things. He is not.

It is on one of these very dangerous missions that Liu Qingge ends up incredibly wounded and forced to spend time healing in a nearby, somewhat isolated, village. He doesn't know exactly where he is, somewhere along the Luo river, but somehow, the villagers seem to recognize him. They help him with a room at an inn, with the meager medical supplies they have, and with time alone to rest and heal. It is not unusual for mortals to look up to and idolize immortal cultivators, but even by Liu Qingge's standards and expectations, they are going above and beyond. Suspicious after being treated such a way while being in a very weakened state, he asks. The villagers' responses vary, but the gist is Oh Immortal Cultivator, how could we possibly sit by and watch when we could help instead? and Oh Immortal Cultivator, we have heard only the best things about The Bai Zhan War God! Of course we'd want to be of assistance! and Oh Immortal Cultivator how could we not help Peak Lord Shen Yuan's husband? He has done many things for our village, including adopting an orphaned boy to save him from the bullying! and most of these responses grate on his nerves because he hasn't been met with such kindness ever sincer he first met Shen Yuan and..... wait. Wait what. What do you mean, adopted? What do you mean HUSBAND?

Well yes, say the villagers, back when the war was still on, Peak Lord Shen Yuan came running with an infant boy in the village, yelling for a healer. Back then we didnt know who he was, and we were already nearly out of food for the winter, so we didnt have the means to help him. A washer-woman stepped up, even though she herself was barely surviving, and helped him and the infant. It's from her that we found out that Peak Lord Shen found the baby boy floating down the Luo river in the dead of winter, newly born and nearly frozen to death and chose to save him. Liu Qingge feels like he's been thrown off his axis. What do you mean, floating down the river? Isnt the boy his son? How do you know he didnt just lie and tell you he only found the boy to avoid accountability for having a son out of wedlock?

Well yes, say the villagers, the town healer came eventually. After Peak Lord Shen promised a hefty sum, the healer treated the boy of a very high fever, telling Peak Lord Shen that he's lucky his son only had a fever, and not hypothermia. The Peak Lord then insisted that the boy wasnt his by blood, only that he found the baby, and offered to show us proof. The healer asked how he planned to prove that he didnt father the boy and the Peak Lord said he has a special flower, gifted to him by someone very dear, that could prove his innocence. He smeared a drop of blood on the flower and said that if it's petals turn blue once it touches the infant, then he is his father. If it turns red, then there is no blood connection between the two of them. The flower turned red.

Liu Qingge has to sit down. His head is spinning and he doesnt know what to believe anymore. The villagers seem to be telling the truth, but didnt Shen Yuan admit to cheating? Right, of course, perhaps the boy isnt his by blood, but he still called him his son. Perhaps Shen Yuan's lover had a child then attempted to get rid of it before Shen Yuan found out, though without any luck. The boy also calls him a-die, so what if Shen Yuan's lover is simply the washer-woman? What if they fell in love when Shen Yuan bought Binghe in the village?

No No, say the villagers, the washer-woman and Peak Lord Shen didnt even live in the same house those 4 years Binghe spend in the village. Peak Lord Shen was away for long periods of time, he said he was looking for the boy's mother along the river, but everytime he came back, he would teach the boy and help raise him, that's why he calls him a-die. When the washer-woman died of an unknown disease and before the Peak Lord adopted the boy, the Peak Lord was already back at his sect. And besides! The Peak Lord was buying gifts left and right for his intended! He spoke very highly of them!! He told us his very special friend was the War God of Bai Zhan and was hoping to find a gift that his Shidi would appreciate!!!

Liu Qingge feel ready to combust. His head is pounding, he's never been more confused, and this damn injury won't heal fast enough!!! With a bone weary sigh he asks one last thing, why did you refer to me as Peak Lord Shen's husband? If Liu Qingge calculations are right, then Shen Yuan has been meaning to ask him to marry for about six years. SIX YEARS!! (...well, seven now, but he's already broken off the courtship and is starting to think that it might have been a mistake).

Well, say the villagers, when the Peak Lord left the village, he said he had to go back before his best friend started to worry! He said he found a suitable gift and he was building up the courage to gift it!! Naturally, we assumed that, since he came back to adopt the boy and bring him to the sect, his gift was accepted, the wedding held, the boy had a second father, and all was well!

Liu Qingge retires for the night. He's suddenly hit with a very deep sense of dread. He feels like the guilt of his relief crash down on him and doesn't know how to process it. The Boy is adopted. Shen Yuan was going to ask him to marry him and raise a Child together. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Liu Qingge is not panicking. He is not on the verge of a panic attack in his room at an inn in an isolated village, god knows how far away from the sect, healing from an less-awful injury and he is not conflicted as to what to believe. Shen Yuan admitted to having the boy during the war, but then again, he didnt say he fathered him, just that he's been raising him. Shen Yuan has said that his private life has nothing to do with Liu Qingge's, but then again, it's not unusual that his Shixiong was just telling him that it's fine to keep their lifes somewhat private from one another, his parents did that too, had separate bedrooms and everything but they were more than happy together. Liu Qingge feels ready to pass out!! This is too much for one day!! He'll think of a solution in the morning !!

So. Liu Qingge leaves the village the next day, after getting some directions towards the sect, like his ass was on fire. He still doesn't know exactly what's happened during those 4 years, but is now willing to try and clear things up with Shen Yuan. Except. When he gets to the sect (in record time!) he is immediately accosted by Mu Qingfang and subsequently put on house arrest. He is not to leave his bed for as much as a leisure walk Do You Hear Me ?!?!!! so he devises to come up with another way to meet with Shen Yuan. He tells his disciples to let Shen Yuan onto the peak, to lead him straight to his house, to stop glaring at him goddammit! But. Shen Yuan doesn't visit, doesn't write him, doesn't even seem to know that Liu Qingge is back and has been stuck in his own home for the past 2 weeks. So!! Seeing that he has no other choice, Liu Qingge sneaks (yes, sneaks, those talismans at his front door are no joke) out if his home, out of his peak, and onto Shen Yuan's peak, going straight for the Peak Lord's residence on foot.

However tired he is when he gets there, he take two deep breaths and knocks (knocks!!!) on the door. For a moment, all is still and silent. Then, the patter of footsteps coming towards the door, then the door being opened, then!!!!....oh. Shen Yuan's Binghe. For a moment they just stare at each other. Gone is the warm, shy smile Binghe first greeted him with, now The Boy's face is stony, nearly blank. He doesn't greet his Shishu. He doesn't call out to his a-die about this traitor his fellow Peak Lord being there. Liu Qingge is the first to break the silence for once, where is Shen Yuan? aggravated, Binghe nearly shuts the door in his face. Why do you care? he responds, Liu Qingge ignoring his question says Shen Binghe, call your father out here now. Now truly upset, Binghe replies my name is LUO Binghe, and MY father doesn't want to see you!!! and slams the door in Liu Qingge's face before he can open his stupid stupid mouth again!!

Liu Qingge is stunned at the audacity of this boy. Fine, if The Boy wont let him in, he'll ask someone else!! So, against his better judgment, he goes to Qing Jing. He is promptly mocked and laughed off the peak by that Shen Qingqiu! So he goes to An Ding, and!! he is more or less thrown off the peak by that RAT Shang Qinghua! What the Fuck! Its fine, its fine. He'll speak to Shen Yuan at the next Peak Lord meeting.

And so, he attends, actually on time, and goes straight for Shen Yuan, only to be intercepted by the goddamn Sect! Leader!! He ends up spending the rest of the meeting staring at Shen Yuan's drawn face, at his eyebags, his way too thin complexion and has to leave before he drowns in guilt. Its not fine, its not fine, Shen Yuan still smiles at him, a strained thing, even though Liu Qingge is the reason he look like that.

Liu Qingge get lucky. A village south of the mountains has requested his and, specifically, Shen Yuan's help with a wild beasts lurking in their forest. Unable to refuse, both of them accepted. Liu Qingge spends the days before their upcoming mission panicking pacing around to make sure he has everything packed, regardless of the fact that he used to leave with nothing but his sword. When the day to leave comes and he sees Shen Yuan, something starts to feel tight in his throat and he is completely unable to say a word to the man he is still hopelessly in love with before they depart from the sect. As for Shen Yuan, well, he takes the silence as another indicator towards the fact that his Shidi cant stand him anymore, not that he knows why. They leave the sect on their swords. Shen Yuan eventually breaks the silence to ask where exactly they are going, he doesnt recognize the village name, and for how long they will be flying (could he have asked the Sect Leader? Yes. Did he? No.). Liu Qingge answers easily enough. But when it comes his turn to ask anything or to start (start!! how the mighty have fallen) a conversation, he is met with dry, short answers and a lingering tension in the air. Liu Qingge feels like this might be something he cant fix. He hasn't even asked about The Boy yet!!!

Shen Yuan thinks he's doing great! He hasnt answered his Shidi with his usual rambling, not wanting to annoy him and risk being ignored the rest of this missions, and is ignoring the uncomfortable silence with great success!

And thus, this is exactly how most of the mission goes. Stilted conversations in place of the usual easy going ones, uncomfortable silence for long periods of time and even a moment where, upon actually seeing the beast, Shen Yuan has lost his inhibitions and gone on a long rambling tangent about the beasts usual eating habits, sleeping habits, mating habits and everything and anything that came to mind about it. It does, however come to an abrupt stop, when he turns to look at Liu Qingge, a bright smile lightning up his face, and finds his Shidi already looking a him, face soft. When they make eye contact though, Shen Yuan smile falters, then drops not a moment later, and his rambling ends with a weirdly strained uh, yeah, anyway, thats what we were looking for. Then he falls completely silent and Liu Qingge's guilt threatens to swallow him up, so he asks, perhaps a touch annoyed about The Boy. And he sees it. The second his Shixiong, his Shen Yuan, completely shuts him out. The moment his face becomes blank, the second Shen Yuan apologizes and tells him Shidi has made it abundantly clear what he thinks on the matter of my son, there's no need to speak on it anymore.

The ride back is dead silent. Liu Qingge is beating himself up for botching the conversation, Shen Yuan is scolding himself for getting carried away and having his Shidi remind him of the fact that they are not even friends anymore. They dont say anything to one another even when they reach the sect.

The following weeks seem to be a blur. Liu Qingge starts sending beasts to Shen Yuan's peak as an apology for the uncomfortable conversation, Shen Yuan assumes Liu Qingge's telling him that he hasnt forgotten about what he's done wrong on the mission (exactly what he doesnt know, but he knows his Shidi got annoyed enough to nearly leave him behind when going back to the sect) so he sends the beasts back, along side boxes upon boxes of every gift Liu Qingge has gotten him, because, well, can he really move on if he keep holding on to someone who doesnt want anything to do with him anymore? Liu Qingge misunderstand, believes he is being rejected, starts desperately sending rarer and rarer beasts, and Shen Yuan just keeps sending them back. Everyone is confused. The disciples dont know whats going on anymore, the Sect Leader doesnt even want to get involved, Luo Binghe start outright disrespecting Liu Qingge to his face everytime he sees the man.

And this is where im gonna end it because i have developed LiuShen worms in my brain and just needed to clear them out. Wonderful AU, im no writer but i just wanted to share my Thoughts and Thinking

I have this older-brother-SY (also beast peak lord) AU cooking and although I have Many thoughts here’s the liushen part (warning this is long af, TLDR at bottom):

LQG has been pining for the beast peaks’ head disciple for years and SY has no idea (like usual). LQG, over time, has recognized and accepted his affections, but has no idea if SY feels the same. Sure, they get along great, and he’s confident SY considers him a friend (if not a best friend), but more than that? SY if friendly to everyone- and LQG can’t tell what liberties, if any, are exclusive to him.

But it’s clear that the cultivation world is on the brink of a war with the demon realm- and LQG will be at the forefront. As much as he prides himself on his battle prowess he knows he’s not indomitable- and Tianlang-Jun is a force to be reckoned with.

So, he decides to offer SY his suit- even if he's rejected, at least he'll know. In melodrama fashion, LQG asks SY, if he'll accept his courtship once the wars over. SY (unknowingly, the dumbass) accepts.

OK. so now that we have context, lets get silly with it :)

The war goes over the same how it did in SVSSS, YQY subdues TLJ and all peak lords survive. LQG begins to officially court SY... who's been traveling along the Lou river since the end of the war. It's not an issue per say but he also won't tell LQG why; just that he's looking for something. This continues for 4 years. After those four years, SY returns to CQMT. He doesn't leave for extended periods anymore, unless a mission requires it, and even then it's clear he returns as soon as possible. In lieu of his travels he's begin descending the mountain several times a week, to the small town at its' base. He deflects whenever anyone asks why- and although LQG does find it odd, he trusts SY, who says, impishly, that LQG will find out eventually.

That day does come 6 years later.

Word spreads fast around CQMT, so of course LQG, usually not privy to the intersect gossip, (“Shizun, this one has news! Ah! I know gossip is bad, I would never- it’s about Shen-shibo! He’s brought a young boy back to his peak!”) would be near-first to visit his beloved.

LQG: “The rumors are true?”

SY: “Hm? Meddling in gossip are you, shidi? What are they saying, exactly?”

LQG: “Tsk- that you’ve brought a new disciple to the peak- one much too young to cultivate.”

SY: “Ahhh well… I surmise there is some truth to that hearsay after all… he’ll be home for dinner soon- he’s a great chef! Oh, shidi, you must stay for dinner!”

…

SY: “…and their claws are retractable! Despite taking up 50% of their paws! They use this to ambush larger prey, making said prey think they’re harmless- oh, Binghe, come, come; meet your Shishu!”

LBH: “Yes, A-die!”

LQG: "..."

LQG: “……what?”

SY: “Binghe, this is Liu Qingge, your shishu, and a dear friend of mine. Qingge, this is Binghe.”

LQG: “…he called you a-die.”

SY: “Oh! Yes, I’ll sure he’ll need some time to adjust to Shizun.”

LQG: “Adjust.”

SY: “Yes, adjust, he’s called me A-die most of his life. After all, he is my son.”

LQG: “Your son. That you’ve been raising.”

SY: “Yes, Shidi, that’s correct.”

Lqg goes only silent for a bit and SY releases LBH to the kitchens. He’s gotten quite good at reading LQG over the years and knows he’s upset- at what he isn’t sure.

SY: “..Shidi?”

LQG (jaw pinched): “How long?”

SY: “..How long what, shidi?”

LQG : “Have you had-“ (handwaves)

SY: “How long have I been raising him? About 6 years, why?”

LQG: “….and how old is he.”

SY: “Ah, he’s 10, will be 11 this upcoming winter. Make no mistake, I would have been there since birth if given the chance!”

LQG: “… Since the war ended. You- you had a child during that time? You never thought to tell anyone- to tell me?”

SY: “..Well, family matters are private matters, I’m sure shidi understands.”

LQG: “Private! You- shameless! A decade- I’ve wasted a decade- and you never intended to tell me? What did you think would happen when you brought him here, Shen Yuan?!?”

SY (doesn’t know what’s going on but is protective of LBH nonetheless): “Does it matter? He’s here now, and that isn’t going to change! I’m not sure why you’re so concerned with my private life!”

LQG: “Your life- did you ever consider mine?!”

SY: “Like your life will change! I have a son to raise and protect- what all does that have to do with you?!”

LQG (fuming): “I see. You’ve made your point, Shen Yuan. I’ll stop interfering in your life- so separate from mine.” (Storms off)

CQMT witnesses the worst breakup imaginable.

SY has no idea why LQG got so worked up- maybe because SY wasn’t married? LQG was always so traditional…

Apparently, LQG left the day after their fight. Well whatever his issue is hopefully he’s in better spirits once he returns.

LQG returns 4 months later and doesn’t visit like usual. In fact, two days after his return, SY starts receiving packages. Boxes filled with trinkets and books he’s given LQG over the years- even a couple pairs of robes and a set of vambraces he had custom made for LQG. So. Whatever set LQG off clearly hadn’t been resolved. And he really doesn’t want to lose his best friend over… what? He still has no idea why LQG got so upset.

SY resolves to snub his pride and treck to Bai Zhan.

Only, once he arrives, he’s.. blocked? Denied entry? By the Bai Zhan disciples?? They were usually so sweet, charming in their own gruff way, but now they’re just short of openly hostile.

It’s dumb and angsty 🙄 but it tickles something in my brain

TLDR; LQG begins courting SY early in the story, before LBH is born. After TLJ is subdued and SY connects the only heavenly demon to obvi being LBHs dad he sets off to find LBH and ensure he has a better life. He ends up raising LBH with the washerwoman and LBH views SY as his dad and calls him such. Once she passes SY takes him back to CQMT where they meet LQG. LQG hears LBH call SY "a-die" and thinks that SY cheated on him; SY unknowingly confirms this- he also doesn't know that LQG has been courting him. Cue melodrama rivaling QiJiu except the whole sect gets to watch the fallout not just the aftermath.

[buckys-arm-and-rios-dagger]

Thinking about Bucky being sterile.

((CW: mentions of non-consensual Castration, discussions of infertility, Reader is implied to be AFAB))

Maybe HYDRA forcibly castrated him, maybe it was just an unfortunate side effect of the Serum variant he got, but regardless it does its job.

And to be clear, I don't think kids are something Bucky wants at this point (or even really thinks he deserves). But you have to remember that he’s from a time period where getting married and having kids was the expected thing a person did, whether he wants them or not not being able to have kids the old fashioned way has to be something that weighs on him in some capacity. Also just the idea that, be it intentional or not, HYDRA stripped him of the ability to even have the choice to have kids is something that feels like a way that they'll always have control over him and his sexuality and his ability to perform.

Maybe it's something that doesnt even really cross his mind until he meets you, and he realizes things are going well, and at some point you two are probably going to sleep together and it's going to come up. And he's terrified.

Because he trusts you.

Because he loves you.

You had had been so understanding, so patient. You'd gone at his pace in terms of physical affection, even though it meant that it was weeks into your relationship before you could even touch him. You'd held his hand and kissed his knuckles while he told you of his past as the Soldier, and had held him when it all became to much, wiping his tears with your thumb and whispering that it was okay, that no one was going to hurt him like that again. You were gentle, and patient, and kind, Bucky knew that.

But what if this was it? What if this was the straw that broke the camel's back, and you finally understood that he was no good, that you were better off without him?

He tried to push it from his mind and enjoy whatever time he got with you.

Trying to make as many good memories as possible so that he could hold onto them when you finally wised up and realized that he was ruined.

This comes to a head one night the two of you are getting hotter and heavier than you've ever been before, unable to keep your hands off each other. He gasps when your hands start to find their way to his belt, pulling away instantly with nervous eyes.

'N-no, it's not..." he struggles to find the words, 'there's something you need to know about me, my body..."

"Bucky?" You ask, wanting to both move closer and give him the space he needs all at once, "Sweetheart, what's wrong? Were we moving too fast?"

You hold his hand as he recounts what was done to him to render him sterile, and he tries to hold onto the memory of your warm hand in his, to memorize every detail for when you leave him behind. You're still holding it when he finishes.

"I understand if you want to leave," Bucky stares at the ground, "I won't stop you."

"Bucky..." you feel your throat tightening, "this doesn't change how I feel about you. Why would you think that it would?"

"Because I'm ruined." Every word in his trembling voice is a sledgehammer blow to your heart, "because I'm damaged goods. Because I can't have sex like a normal person, and if kids are something you want in the future I can't give them to you."

His eyes are filled with unshed tears as you take his face in your hands.

"Look at me, love," you can feel tears streaming down your cheeks, "you are not ruined, do you hear me? You're not. What they did to you was horrific, it was inhumane, but it didn't turn you into damaged goods. I don't care that you can't have sex like a ""normal person"". I will make as many adjustments as you need. I would do anything to make sure you feel safe and comfortable. Especially with something so vulnerable. And as far as kids go? If sometime way, way in the future we decide we want kids, there are other ways, Baby. That's not the only way. And even if it was, I wouldn't care. I just want to be with you, do you understand me? I just want you."

He hugs you tight, burying his face in your shoulder and crying softly as you stroke his hair.

"You have me, Bucky," you whisper, pressing soft kisses to his hair, "you have me, no matter what."

Maybe the two of you end up having sex that night, maybe you don't. It doesn't really matter by that point. And obviously, he's not magically healed of his trauma, he still struggles with his self worth, and his body, but you’re there to help him.

You make him feel good, feel safe. Like he's more than the things that were done to him, that he's worth more than what HYDRA took from him.

He loves you more than he can ever say.

Anyways this got long and ramble-y, but I just got thinking about how Bucky being sterilized would effect him and his self worth and his relationships and got thinking.

[fairlyang]

Naughty Girl

save a horse, ride a cowboy

w/c: 1K

pairing: cowboy!sam!wilson x f!reader

tags: 18+ smut. riding, praise, jokes, teasing, titty sucking, he's a lil mean

a/n: this is my first time writing for sam- I’m praying I do my man justice bc he needs more lovin and i'll take one for the team

if there was something sam absolutely hated, it was admitting when he was wrong.

but in this case it was also admitting the fact that he was impressed.

the worst part about this was he didn't actually think you could do it. 

sure he had some faith in you, but that didn't change the fact that he, for the most part, was expecting to hear you begging him to do the all work.

he was pleasantly surprised though.

so he looked at you, amusement in his eyes and a shit eating grin on his face, "guess those lessons did pay off huh?

you playfully rolled your eyes and chuckled, "what you didn't think I could do it?"

"I just didn't expect for you to prove me wrong, sweetheart." he coos and squeezes your hip. 

you grinned and continued bouncing on his cock, somewhat using the skills he's taught you like how to mount a horse, though this was better than riding any horse. 

your hands were on his shoulders, helping your movements because you didn't fully trust yourself. you had been for it for a good amount of time, edging you both in the process but for once you didn't mind it. 

you were in a back room of the saloon, after dancing with your favorite cowboy it had you in a mood so you dragged him away. and as expected, he couldn't dare deny his lady of her needs. 

the music was still playing and all the partygoers were still stomping and dancing about with no clue what you were up to. 

and although anyone could just walk in, it didn't stop you whatsoever. it was a risky game and boy, did you love playing games.

your bounces on him were steady and precise, a decent pace that wouldn't throw you over the edge. the riskiness of it all had your head spinning and had you going faster. 

"fuck baby- keep going, don't stop." he moans, making you moan along with him. 

"sam-" you cry out, and dig your nails into his shoulders.

he groans and leans in closer, bringing his hands to your tits and squeezes them before taking you left nipple in his mouth, harshly sucking. you moaned and the added pleasure had your eyes rolling to the back of your head. 

"oh fuck- s-so good." you murmur and look down at him, switching nipples then going back to sucking as if his life depended on it.

you held onto his head and moved it upwards, "can you mark them? p-please?"

he pulled away then looked up at you with a smirk, "whatever my girl wants, she gets."

he went back down and instantly sucked on your skin, pulling away for a second to look at his handiwork then went back to it to lick over it soothingly. he then kissed it before moving upwards and repeating the process. 

cut to a minute later and five hickey's placed, he was happy with the results. 

you slowed down because your thighs were growing tired which only had sam shaking his head and clicking his tongue, "nuh uh, what do you think you're doing baby?"

"sam I'm tired-"

"did I say you could slow down?" he asked, making you whimper.

you shook your head and his hands went back to your hips, "then what are you waitin' for?"

you pouted and glared at him not making feel bad whatsoever but it did make him throb inside you. he chuckled and thrusted up once making you gasp, "c'mon be a good girl for me, you can do it baby." 

your walls clenched against him and you couldn't just not listen to him so you folded. you went back to your previous position, hands on his shoulders and your perfect bounces on his cock. you could feel yourself getting wetter by the second and the noises that came with every bounce confirmed it. 

"good girl… see how it's easy to listen to directions?" he teased, making you scoff, "you're one to talk."

he just laughs and shrugs, "you've still got me beat, sweetheart."

you pouted but kept going, feeling too good to stop. "can't forget how much of a brat you were when we met…" he murmured, sending shivers down your spine. 

you straightened up and stuck your ass out, making him shift his attention to it. his hands each smacked a cheek before groping them, helping you slam down, "were such a good girl back then.. secret brat too.."

"what a combination, don't ya think?" he murmured and you just nodded. 

"now all I've got is a naughty girl…" he breathes out, making your breath hitch.

"wantin' to fuck after one dance." he moans earning himself a loud whine from you.

he then stopped you, lifting himself up the tiniest bit, "dirty fucking girl- horny little thing, just can't help it can you baby?"

you whimpered and shook your head, "I can't-"

"I know baby, I know.." he coos and then gives you a grin, "it's what I love most about you."

before you could even respond, he started thrusting himself into you, not giving you any time to get used to it. you cried out and tried to hold onto him, sam noticing and deciding to kiss your chest. you held onto him as he pounded into you, the sounds in the room by some miracle still not as loud as the music. 

he was relentless, feeling himself getting close and wanting to make you get there as well so he went even fast. harder. 

just how you liked it and exactly what you needed.

"sam! fuck baby please–" you cried and sweet moans left your mouth.

"atta girl- doing so fucking good darlin'." he moans then moves his hands back to your hips. 

"need you to come for me baby, can you do that for me?' he cooed and you nodded.

"good girl- such a good fucking girl." he groans, his praise bringing you closer and closer to your release.

you felt him twitching inside you making you grab him and pull him away just to lean your forehead against his, "p-please- fuck- please give it to me, need you so bad."

he moaned out and smashed his lips against yours, now moaning against your lips as he thrusted as deep as he could go. you were whimpering while trying to kiss back which was enough to send you both over the edge. you kissed him back while he spilled his load deep inside you, still attempting to kiss you but it was just a sloppy mess.

he slowed down, riding out your highs while he made sure he gave you every drop he had. your legs were shaking as he pulled away and gave you a kiss on the cheek then on the forehead before finally stopping and holding you close.

he whispered sweet things in your ear as you fought hard to stay awake but he couldn't blame you, holding you in his arms as if he was afraid you'd slip out and never come back but neither of you were leaving. not any time soon or ever.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

What are subby and domme up to? 👀

Suggestive content. Something sweet and spicy. Muah.

__________________________

The Tuesday morning is bright; the pair giggling mostly to themselves. Joe's weekend away in New York still fresh on their minds. Domme has one hand lightly curled around the bend in Joe's arm, their sneakers silent as they walk in tandem together down the block.

"I still think I could've pitched better," she teases.

"Want to put money on that? I'd love to see you try," Joe hums in return, a soft giggle leaving him as his fingers find her and squeeze just a hair.

"Yes, I would. I do want to try a batting range too. You might destroy me there, but you can't throw everything like a football, you know?"

Domme was in New York with him, but not at the event. She instead ventured around the city, scouting places for them to eat at, window shopping, enjoying Central Park. Part of her was looking for wedding related things: vintage heels if she happened across them, accessories if she found a shop to peek her head into. Mostly, though, she just filled her day and Joe's phone with a litter of pictures from the places she'd gone, the rat art she noticed on the concrete, tiny boutiques and bodegas that caught her attention.

Joe wanted her in New York, wanted her with him desperately to get away from the monotony of their routine at home. He won't lie, Joe also wanted something to ground him once he left the convention too. Wedding planning ate up most of their evenings and though Joe wanted her to take a break, to unwind as he worried she'd been hitting the gas too hard and for too long, he had a feeling doing so in a crowded event hall, people constantly swirling about was not the place to do it. Joe could see the fraying of her edges and figured that while she was getting more comfortable being in the light with him, she answered 'yes' with less hesitation when Joe asked her if she'd be comfortable being his plus one to events, Fanatics Fest just didn't seem like the place she'd want to be or the place Joe wanted her to be. It most likely would not help her decompress--nor did it decompress Joe, but he did still have fun. So, Domme's attendance was optional, but her relaxation, her taking a day just for herself was mandatory.

Joe's debrief about how terrible he pitched was the highlight for Domme apparently, not even his score on the UFC punching bag changed her tune. They reunited at the end of the evening; Joe absolutely drained from the day, but happy to see Domme's grin from the backseat of the truck before they headed off for the sparkle and grime of late night parties. She rolled down the window, head peaking out, sunglasses big on her face, "Hey, handsome. You look like you could use a ride. Hop in." And Joe wanted nothing more than to do just that, than to tuck himself under her arm as they headed to dinner and talked about their days, Joe's voice getting lost against the thin skin of her throat.

But she's refused to let him live down the pitching. Even now. Days later, she'd look at him and just giggle. And Joe always knew exactly what was making her laugh.

"It's literally my job," Joe retorts to her jab at his abysmal performance.

He hadn't been proud of how things went in the moment, but Domme cradled his jaw, pressed a kiss to his lips and teased in a grin that it was a good thing he quit baseball when he did, he's a much better football player. I'll take you terrible aim and all, she said. Joe's only logical response was to melt into her soft confession. Even in the back of the SUV, caring and not caring that Joe had literally gone from his normal blank slate into an utter lovesick fool in one glance because he knows Domme means it. She always would. And if that's not faith, Joe doesn't know what is.

"You don't throw me around like a football," Domme hums. Her voice brings Joe back to the present moment, to the hot concrete, air stiff and sun broiling even though it's not even the hottest part of the day.

Joe pauses underneath the pink awning of the bakery. "Do you want me to?"

"I'll answer if I get to hear you say all of that question."

God. The dark and deep rumble in her voice punches at his gut, the sultry rumble that makes tangles the words between a request and a command, but it makes his cock twitch just a little in his jeans. "Do you want me to toss you around like a football?" He asks it low, not unaware that they are on the sidewalk in broad daylight, on a Tuesday fucking morning.

"Every once and a while. Can't have all those muscles for nothing."

Joe snorts before he really means to at her last sentence. The humor does not undo the heat in the words, how much he's recently wondered what it could be like to get a little rough with Domme. Joe just loves it more when she's rough with him. Can't help but adore the sinister twist to her lips, like she's got a secret she's not supposed to share but is. He loves the way she looks at him, tender but hot. Joe loves when it's just them, just the love and adoration that seeps into the kisses and touches.

"I will keep that in mind." It's all Joe says before he pulls the door open for her, lets her walk in ahead of him, but peering over her just to make sure the coast is clear.

The bakery is cold, the air rushing out the moment the seal of the door is broken, but they carry on around the few tables that are set out and up towards the register. One employee is helping a small family--a mother with two kids, holding onto her hand, the other on her hip. A few teens are in the back corner, but they look absorbed into their phones, giggling as the faint sound of a video plays. It's not loud enough to hear word for word what's going on, just loud enough to know that they are watching something.

"Welcome in!" The call is far, not loud. Joe finds himself looking for the person behind the voice from beneath the blue tinted shades.

Domme takes the lead, easing closer and then she stops a few inches shy of the counter, in front of Joe, Joe behind her, not necessarily intending to shield her from the rest of the storefront, but effectively doing that.

"Hi, how are you?" Domme asks, reflexively. She does this all the time. She turns the question to the employee first and Joe's never understood it, even though she had a couple years in college in the industry Joe was sure the habit would've broken all these years later. Yet, it hasn't. Joe's glad he's not put money on that.

"Oh, good, thanks for asking. How are you two?"

"Good, thanks. We have a pick up order." Domme gives her name, omits Joe's, but it's clear that the young woman, at most in her late 20's, seems to recognize Domme's name and nods.

"Yes, yes, I remember the call! Wedding cake flavors, right?"

"Yes, that's correct."

"That's so exciting. I'll be right back with your box!" The woman's off before Domme can express her gratitude.

Joe tuts out a piece of laughter, all mostly an exhale. "She's more excited than us."

"We are the ones who have to plan this thing, fighting about colors and venues," she laughs in response, easing a hair back into Joe's chest. The touch is quick, all mostly a brush. Her shoulders against his sternum, his fingers teasing at the middle of her shoulder blades and then they're back to their prior positions: Domme erect, Joe slipping his arms across his chest, folded one atop on the other.

They don't really need to do the pick up together, Joe knows that. Domme had already sat with him to select four different flavor options. But it's not about what they need to do, it's just about having this time--intentionally setting aside the day with her, knowing that after this, there's still the day of just them. They could do just about anything, might find themselves in some shade in a local park fighting the eat as they indulge in something cold to prevent sticky fingers and bowls coming creamy puddles.

The woman returns, a bright pink box in hand to match her smile. "I hope you guys find something you like." She tugs at a taped on receipt, confirmation undoubtedly of their prepayment, and it pops off with ease. "Do you need forks?"

Domme looks up, eyes peering up over her shades. "Feel comfy tasting here?"

The cakes shouldn't be too big at all. The box waiting for them is smaller than Joe anticipated. And they probably won't be here long all things considered. Joe nods once, "Yeah."

"Oh, perfect!" The young woman cheers, reaches for a few napkins and then uses those to pluck the forks from the waiting metal tin. She places the entire stack onto the box. "Enjoy! Good luck with all your planning."

Domme collects the box. "Thanks, we appreciate it. Have a great rest of your day." And when she turns, she smiles up at Joe, "Lead the way."

"Give me that. I'll have you know my hands are in working order."

He's met with an eye roll but Domme hands over the box and Joe turns, but not before he shuffles everything into his left hand to reach back with his right for her. They settle into a back corner, on the opposite side of the teens, behind the family by about five tables or so, Joe's back faces the bright window and Domme scoots the chair next to him in even closer.

The box is divided at the bottom into four quadrants, a tiny print out of each flavor is delicately taped to the inside of each section and the pieces are rest, icing in the middle for consumption. Joe clinks his fork against Domme's one downturned utensil, a small tut of laughter escaping him.

"What are we cheersing exactly?" she asks, words dripping with the amusement she hasn't exhaled.

Joe shrugs. "I don't know. Felt like the right thing to do. I've never been engaged before."

"Neither have I. But I don't think we cheers cake flavors."

"Well, I will," Joe returns, a defiant tilt of his head. "Put that fork up for a proper cheers." Domme flicks the plastic fork, so the prongs face upwards. "To us," Joe starts, easing his in closer.

"To us," she agrees, meeting him the rest of the way. The clink is dull and swallowed up by the tufts of laughter. "Where do you want to start?"

There's lemon, chocolate, white and red velvet marble, and strawberry tiramisu. "Chocolate, for sure."

The cakes are all moist, sponge-y in a way that makes them melt damn near at the first drop of saliva. It seems promising, like their choice will be tougher than originally anticipated. Domme wanted to ensure they got a nice spread of flavors, something to ensure they didn't get backed into a corner that necessarily worked for them. Joe wanted heavy and sweet, but agreed he'd try a couple fruit based options.

Though, now, Joe's maybe regretting the citrus choices. Joe sputters at the lemon bite, not that it's bad, but it's too bright. "I want something indulgent," Joe mutters, a little indignant at the cake's taste. He'll admit going to chocolate first probably spoiled the rest of the flavors, but it looked so inviting sitting there. How could Joe say no to chocolate cake. "I want something rich, you know?"

"I've got something you can indulge," Domme retorts. It's soft, a quick quirk of her brow and then she goes in for the last flavor--a white and red velvet marble.

Joe's laughter leaves him sputtered, his hand covering his mouth around his remaining bite of the lemon cake. But Joe slips one hand under the table, over her knee and tugs until Domme's facing him. The skirt falls away just a little, the thigh high slit keeping just enough covered of her lap.

"I bet you do," Joe agrees. "I bet you do."

She grins even though she shudders, easing her legs apart to allow him to trail up, and up, and up. Between her thighs is warm, especially in the cold of the humming AC. It's only inches and thin cotton between him and what he could indulge in, but Joe has a little bit more patience than that. So he stays there, inches from her core and squeezes at her inner thighs.

"Last one?" Domme offers. Her glasses are pushed to the top of her head, and her eyes dazzle in the sun, not even a squint hides away just how close she knows she is to the fire.

"It looks goods," Joe offers, turning his attention back towards the box. His hand doesn't leave though. Neither one of them says anything either. Joe just lazily strokes the warm flesh and takes his portion of the cake onto his fork.

Domme hums around the bite, fork bouncing towards the bottom left quadrant. "Talk about indulgent. That's it."

"Isn't like the only difference between chocolate and red velvet food dye?" The question pauses Joe's work of the fork to his mouth.

"Bite me. I don't care. I don't know. I don't care to know if I'm honest. It's fucking delicious."

Joe tries his bite, but focuses on how Domme's eyes close, her wiggle in the chair solidifying how much she's enjoying this particular selection. The cream cheese frosting does make the cake richer in a way, really settles into the grooves of the tongue. It's a sinful delight and wants the consumer to know it for every bite. Though Joe still likes the chocolate, his chest warms at her excitement, the way her lips and mouth curl around her grin around the second bite of the cake. The only cake she's gone back in for seconds for.

"I think it's the difference between the buttercream and the cream cheese frostings," Domme adds on, finger bent and placed in front of her lips.

There, just inside of the corners of her mouth, are a few crumbs. He can't resist, though he knows he should. Joe sets his fork down, using the pads of his fingers to collect the crumbs and holds them against her lips. Waiting, and waiting, and waiting until Domme parts them and swipes the red and white crumbs off his finger. Their bubble is tight, like the way Joe's stomach twists and holds, the heat of their exchange searing into his skin.

"Red and white marble it is." His agreement is all an exhale, all a wispy breath that nearly gets sucked into the hum of the AC, snakes around the chatter around them.

"If you want--"

"No, I want this one." If only to see her delight again. If only to feed her more crumbs. If only to wipe a dollop of icing onto her nose just to kiss it off when she's dressed in all white.

Domme eases in, knees pressing into his. Joe's fingers slide up and up and Domme closes the gap, lips sealing around the corner of his mouth, tongue flickering out. "Thank you, baby," she purrs and then slips back into her seat, collects the last bites of the red and white velvet marble cake. "Want the last bite?"

"I do." He pairs it with a wink, hand between her thighs, squeezing at the flesh. "I'm getting practice on saying that."

Domme feeds him the last pieces, steady as she holds the fork out. "I can tell. I like the way it sounds."

[dragonmasterhiccup]

Hiccup took in Gobber's words. Things really had changed. His dad had practically banned even the notion of becoming human. Stories still floated around, of course, but his father certainly was close to Gobber to have reacted the way he did.

When the smith started talking about Hiccup's mother, the merman was all ears. He didn't know all that much about her, and his dad would close up anytime he asked. Hiccup had all but given up hope of finding out about her, until now.

Astrid's compliment made him smile. He didn't mind it too much, though it did confuse him a bit when she first said it days earlier. Besides, it didn't look like she'd be willing to change her word choice, so why not just go with it?

Hiccup caught her eye, giving her a grin and a small nod, telling her it was fine with him.

"She...she loved dragons?" Hiccup exchanged a look with Astrid. At least now he knew where he got it from.

Oh.

His head hung low. He knew what happened to his mother, but hearing about how happy his father once was struck a chord.

No wonder Stoick had a hard time even looking at his son, Hiccup was a reminder of what he lost. And now, with his missing fin, he'd be even more of a reminder.

As Gobber rested a hand on his shoulder, the merman looked at the smith with somber eyes. "Yeah, well...I'm not exactly the son he's always wanted, Gobber," Hiccup replied, "Turns out I took after mom, so...it's no wonder he didn't tell you about me."

He nodded at Gobber's words, "Yeah. Yeah, I'll make sure he knows." Hiccup now had quite the lost of things he needed to talk to his father about.

He hoped that it wouldn't push Stoick over the edge.

The merman leaned into Astrid's touch, resting his head against hers. It brought him some ease, knowing she was there for him. He was glad to know all of these things, but that didn't mean it wasn't a lot to wrap his head around.

The mood had turned heavy in the forge, at least it did to Hiccup, so he did the only thing he could think of. "Does this mean I can call you Uncle Gobber?"

Eyeing the plans, Hiccup brought a hand to his chin. "If you know what material is needed and how much, I can handle the Gronckle. It's pretty easy to gain their trust, so I can make sure they'll eat the materials you bring." He'd offer to help gather them, but he wasn't much use without legs.

Looking at where Astrid pointed, Hiccup nodded, "Perfect. Not too close to the fire, so it shouldn't evaporate too quickly."

"I can't talk to Dad until I can swim again, so the sooner we start on this, the better. Gobber?" He turned to the blacksmith, "Thanks. For telling us all that, and for helping me walk and swim again. Your secret is safe with us."

🐟

The Great Hall was bustling with people, much like the other night when Astrid first took him here. More than a few vikings were already into their third cup of mead, and laughter rang throughout the Hall.

There was music playing, and a few couples were already dancing. Nodding towards them, Hiccup asked Astrid, "Do you? Like to dance, I mean. Because, uh...if, if you do... maybe we could try to dance a bit tonight... I may be a bit limited with the crutch, but...I'd still like to try, if you're up for it?"

After a long training session, all Astrid wanted to do was cool off on the beach. Maybe a tiny swim, even though the ocean was so cold at this time of year. She pushed through the brush and staggered down to the shore.

Only to find a boy lounging in the shallows.

“Oh!” She dropped her axe in the sand. From his bare torso, she assumed he was naked. “Sorry! I didn’t know someone else would be…here…” as the apologies flowed, she realized from the waist down, he had green scales and a pair of fins.

No wonder she hadn’t recognized him.

“No way…” she inched closer. “A real mermaid! In the flesh! Are the stories true?” She stamped down her overwhelming curiosity for a moment to give him a stern point. “Don’t try anything fishy, mermaid. I’m very capable of protecting myself, got it?”

((I saw the prompt and went feral, hope you don’t mind))

[X]

Hiccup started, the water around him splashing as he sat up straight in surprise, before he moved a little further back, his cheeks flushed.

"No, sorry, I, I shouldn't--" Ducking his head, the merman awkwardly held up a hand, "Usually no one comes here..."

But his movements only caused his tail to briefly break the surface, emerald scales glittering in the sun for a moment before dipping below the water again.

Firmly, he responded, "Merman. I am a merman. And no, don't worry, I, I wasn't going to try anything...I know you'd probably kill me if I did..."

Clearing his throat, he ran a hand through his hair, which had partially dried in his time sitting in the shallow water. "What, what stories are you referring to?"

He knew, or at least had a gut feeling about what she was asking, but he wanted to hear it from her. She appeared wary, but not fearful. Maybe these humans didn't have the same fears of his kind like the others?

[aosawako]

Answer

“Feelings that come back

Are feelings that never left.”

Tobio Kageyama

Tobio Kageyama asked you to be his girlfriend in your 3rd year of middle school. It was the most he’d ever let someone in at the time. At the time, he was completely focused on volleyball and unable to let you completely in.

That didn’t mean you didn’t try. You managed to make him more comfortable with you, but you couldn’t change his mindset.

It was sweet at times, other times not so much. You understood him in a way no one else did. Understood why he never depended on anyone and chose to do it himself instead. Though, his independence in volleyball appeared in your relationship with him. Tobio insisted on not telling you anything, not communicating because he believed he didn’t need to.

He believed he could do it himself, forever and always. It started frustrating you, though you never admitted it. Instead, you tried to lightly encourage him to depend on you. At least a little. But he didn’t.

There was only so much a person could take before it became too much. Kageyama would push you away and then it would repeat. All it took was a bad game, someone else acting up, a slight mistake in his game.

Tobio would try, he really did. Though he couldn’t change because of the people around him. They just kept disappointing him over and over. Which lead to him being frustrated around you, shutting you out in the process.

That led to what happened a year ago. You told him how you felt, and he couldn’t answer you. Tobio just stared at you, he wanted to say something but he didn’t know what.

He wasn’t like you, comforting and good with words. You knew what to say to him, how to ease him even at the worst moments. He wasn’t anything like you, he couldn’t give you anything more than an, “Okay.”

It was nearing the end of the school year, a few months before summer. You had told him you wanted him to feel like he could open up with you. That you understood why he didn’t but it tired you how he wouldn’t attempt to communicate, just shut you out.

“I really do like you , Tobio.” You had sighed softly, preparing yourself. “And I’ll be rooting for you, in every way imaginable. Maybe right now isn’t the time for us, and maybe we’ll have a better chance in the future.”

Tobio Kageyama thought about that moment often. More frequently than he liked to admit. He saw you around at Karasuno, staring as you passed.

He thought about what you meant, a better chance in the future? Was his time up yet, or could he still make it?

Kageyama had changed, his team taught him more than he thought they would. He could depend on them, he wasn’t alone on the court anymore. The team irritated him but it was different this time. More for stupid reasons over anything.

Now, all he was missing was…you. He thought he lost feelings for you, but all he did was gain them back. He had grown, and you weren't there. You didn't see the fact he had changed. Tobio wasn't going to avoid communication with you, nor try not to depend on you.

So did you mean it? Would there be a chance to make it right this time?

Sugawara was the first person he asked. Kôshi supported the idea, only if Tobio was ready to be the person for you. He saw the progress and growth in him over the school year.

Then Kageyama asked Hinata before sending the message. If he really should do it, if you would even respond.

Hinata was excited for his friend, saying that if you said you really did like him, you would love him now. He encouraged him to send the message because even if it did go wrong, it's better to fail knowing you tried rather than fail not knowing if it could've worked.

You were walking home from school, chewing at your gum, headphones blasting. The music was cut off by a message being read.

‘From Tobio: I miss you.’

Then your music started up again, and you let it. Not checking your phone once as you walked, millions of thoughts running in your mind.

As soon as you got home you opened it, you saw exactly what you heard. You pondered for a moment, what to say. You had noticed his changes, they were subtle. But he had grown more from who he was.

He was in practice when you had responded. So as soon as it was over, he checked his phone. Relief filled him when he saw your name, a simple message followed but it was exactly what he needed. You reciprocated, you missed him too.

(Click photo if blurry)

His message surprised you to say the least. He was almost outside? The two of you didn't live necessarily far from each other, however it would take some time to get to your house. Was he already heading there before he sent you that?

That didn’t really matter at the moment. You quickly got yourself ready, whatever that meant. After a few minutes, you grabbed a pair of shoes. Putting them on before stepping out.

It was already dark out, but you could still spot him. He was standing in front of your house near the sidewalk. The door clicked close after you pushed it into place.

Kageyama looked back to see you, taking his hands out of his pockets. Rubbing them on his sides, was he nervous?

You approached him, walking down to the street. You were going to say something first but he beat you to it.

The top of his head was visible when he gave you a short bow, “Thank you for coming.”

“Well, I just came out of my house. I should thank you. You ran all this way didn’t you?”

Tobio stared at you, lips parting. “I did but it was nothing.” His head perked when he heard you laugh at him, he missed that.

“Thank you..Tobio. I can still call you that right?” He nodded. It was still new to him, but it was welcomed. His eyes stayed on you, he hadn’t been able to get a good look at you in a while.

“What I told you, I meant it. I do miss you and want to get back together.” Kageyama stumbled on his last words, but you could still see he was attempting to be better for you. “I promise you’ll be a priority and I’ll do my best to communicate. I won’t let you down.”

You smiled, he was so serious about it. He only really ever said something if he meant it. The silence sat for a moment, “Then..I trust you keep your promise. You’ve never let me down before so there really isn’t a need to say-“

Kageyama didn’t mean to cut you off but he couldn't wait. “Will you be my girlfriend?” He stared at you like you created volleyball itself. His ears were pink, followed by his face dusted with blush.

“Yes, I will.” You didn’t hesitate when you said it. Tobio really liked that, more than he would want to admit. You saw him bolt to the corner of the street, you were about to follow. Then he ran back, gently pushing flowers into your hands.

“I hope you like them, thank you again.” He watched you touch the flowers. His hands shoved back into his pockets, they were so sweaty. He didn't want you to see that.

“Thank you Tobio. That’s so sweet, you really didn't have to. Did you keep them over there in case I said no?” He looked away from you sheepishly.

“Maybe.” He looked back feeling your arms wrap around him. His face was so red, he was happy he didn't have any of his teammates around. Especially now that he was hugging you back, yeah. It was better that they weren't there.

Bonus ౨ৎ

Kageyama laid in bed, just about to fall asleep. His phone flashed back on, making him grab it begrudgingly. It was Sugawara.

Practice does pay off.

[writingdevil]

Hiii Devil!!! [emerges from the ground all dirty and half-dead] You know very well how normal I've been over your latest Skeptunist fic, I've been yapping about it nonstop-

Anyways, I will scream and explode if you write a part 2 to that fic where Skeptic apologizes to Oppy for the argument and all the awful things he said to him. I would cry at this scene from Oppy POV, but Skeptic POV will definitely make me scream too skfkskf

Anyways! I go back into the ground now, thank you again for writing my previous request [I have been thinking about it a concerning amount /lh], and thank you for everything you do!! <3

(How did you get in the ground in the first place?!/silly. Anyway, YES- I've been dying to write a conclusion to this because it breaks my heart to break my ship's hearts. So I'm so excited to write this part, and thank you for everything you do as well, because you make me just as feral about Skeptunist. Enjoy!)

Part One

'You're useless when it comes to thinking about anything other than yourself!'

'You're useless-'

Useless. Useless.

That's all Opportunist was.

It was a truth that had been in the back of Opportunist's mind forever, but having it shoved so plainly in his face now, it was hard to deny it any longer.

Opportunist really was a selfish monster.

It felt as if his mind was torturing him, not letting him move on from that incident. He woke up and saw his face, he tried to do something and he heard his voice- Opportunist tried to do literally anything and he was just reminded of that day.

'You're useless when it comes to thinking about anything other than yourself!'

He felt his heart break into tinier pieces. Oh, Skeptic.

It's been two weeks since that day, and the more time that passes, the more time that Opportunist had to reexamine his own actions, and there was a clear conclusion to come to.

Opportunist hadn't changed.

He was still just a heartless, manipulative backstabber, who was more than willing to lie to his own flock.

If Skeptic, the sharpest of them all, the person that claimed to know the real Opportunist, thought that, then how could it not be the truth?

The worst part though, was that Opportunist didn't even know he had been manipulating Skeptic.

Opportunist had been guarded at the start, of course, but it felt like Skeptic had approached him differently, not with caution, but with an open mind, as if he didn't care if Opportunist would betray him or not.

Opportunist actually thought that Skeptic saw something good in him, saw something worth giving his love for, and all those happy moments that they shared afterwards.

Opportunist said that he loved Skeptic.

Too bad it was all a lie.

He should've known that nobody would like what was behind the mask. He should've known that everyone thinks about themselves, even subconsciously.

He should've known that he wasn't worthy of love.

Opportunist has always been afraid- a secret that he will take to his grave. He was always afraid that there was something more powerful, more stronger, more sinister than him, and that they would attack Opportunist when he least expects it, so it was simply better to play both sides until he knew which side was the winning one.

But with their newfound freedom and no cabin to endure, there suddenly wasn't a side to pick- just birds that knew Opportunist would betray them at the drop of a hat.

That put him in a difficult position, one where Opportunist was just terrified all the time, that his efforts of pleasing and playing nice to the others would all be in vain and he would be alone forever.

But then Skeptic came along and changed everything Opportunist thought about himself- or so he thought.

Opportunist thought he was in love with Skeptic, that he cared about him and wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. Turns out, Opportunist just clung to the first and only person that gave him a chance.

Opportunist took advantage of Skeptic's kind and inquisitive nature, and sunk his claws into him, to the point that he made Skeptic fall in love with a mask of himself. He made Skeptic believe that he was loving and funny and caring- but what he really was, was a coward, who couldn't stand to be alone.

So he tricked Skeptic into loving him, and now Skeptic knows the truth.

Opportunist thought he cared about Skeptic's wellbeing. He thought he wanted Skeptic to relax for the good of his health. But it was all so that he wouldn't leave Opportunist, but Opportunist pushed him too far.

He really was fucking useless.

He couldn't even keep a partner from overworking himself, and now Opportunist was more aware than ever that he was so willing to deceive people, that it was practically second nature to him.

So Opportunist decided not to feed into that nature anymore. He holed up in his room, thinking about Skeptic over and over again.

His heart had never been more shattered, and he's never been more afraid of his own mind.

He didn't leave his room. He tried not to talk to others, but Hero and Hunted always checked in on him at least once, to make sure that he ate something. Opportunist would've ignored them, but he knew that they would make a scene about it otherwise, so he pulled together a shoddy mask and accepted the food, only taking a bite or two. He didn't deserve their kindness.

He spent his days curled up in his bed. The first few days, Opportunist cried his heart out, harder than he's ever cried before. Then, his brain went wild with thinking of ways to beg for Skeptic's forgiveness, because Skeptic was always right, and Opportunist wanted to prove that he did still love him, that he wouldn't push Skeptic again.

But now he's just sitting here, withering away. Maybe if he waits long enough, the wickedness within him would die off, and then Skeptic will have a chance to love the real him.

Opportunist wasn't sure how much time had passed- his head was too busy replaying that day and remembering every kiss and embrace they shared up until the fight, questioning if any of it was real or salvageable.

He was useless.

He deceived his partner without even realising it.

Did he even deserve love-

Knock knock!

Opportunist sighed, wishing Hunted wouldn't pester him so much about eating. "Go away, Hunted. I'm busy," he mumbled, turning his back to the door, his fingers fiddling with a familiar feather, a shade of black so dark that it shone almost navy blue in the light, but then he heard another knock.

Opportunist wrapped his wings around himself, hugging himself tightly. "I'm not hungry, Hunted."

Knock!

Opportunist sighed in defeat, forcing himself to sit up, glaring at the door, mustering up all the energy he could for a mask that showed that Opportunist was fine and definitely not heartbroken.

Opportunist wrapped his hand around the doorknob. "Hunted, I promise you, if I'm hungry, I will let you-"

He opened the door, but it wasn't Hunted standing before him.

"-know," was all Opportunist could think to say, as he stared up at the disheveled and grieving face of Skeptic.

Opportunist looked up into those eyes, and he felt his breath being taken away.

Skeptic blinked, before a pained look crossed his face, and he whispered, "Oppy."

"Skeptic," Opportunist whispered back, gripping the doorknob tight.

Opportunist knew how to act around everyone. Everyone except Skeptic, so he had no idea what to do now.

"Can I come in, Oppy?" Skeptic softly asked, and he figured it wouldn't do Opportunist any good to deny him right now, so he silently walked away, letting Skeptic make himself at home.

He heard Skeptic let a sigh of relief out, coming in and closing the door behind him.

Then they stood there, staring at each other with such a heaviness in their eyes, and the memories of a fight that destroyed them.

'You're useless when it comes to thinking about anything other than yourself!'

That was what was between Skeptic and Opportunist now.

Opportunist didn't dare make the first move, not when Skeptic had been so angry at him before. It was safer to let Skeptic lead right now.

Skeptic took a deep breath in, nervously fidgeting with the feathers on his arms, something that Opportunist has never seen him do before.

"Forgive me for not speaking to you sooner, Oppy," Skeptic began. "I wanted to talk to you as soon as I could, but I wanted to give you some space."

Skeptic then lowered his head awkwardly with a cough and added, "It was also hard to get past Hunted. He guarded your door very well."

Despite the anguish in his heart, Opportunist's lips twitched, as if wanting to smile but afraid to.

"But then I heard that nobody's seen you around lately, and I knew I couldn't wait any longer. I knew I needed to make things right with you."

"Make things right?" Opportunist echoed with a weak chuckle, waving a hand carelessly through the air. "My friend, you've done nothing wrong."

Opportunist tried not to focus on how his voice cracked at the word 'friend', but he couldn't ignore the way it stabbed his heart.

Opportunist smiled at him, but he saw the way Skeptic's eyes darkened at him, and it felt like Skeptic was piercing through his mask and into his very soul. But Skeptic had never known the real him, so how could he make Opportunist feel this vulnerable?

"I have, Oppy," Skeptic firmly said, "and I understand why you're doing what you're doing. I don't blame you, because I'd hate me too after what I said to you."

"Hate?" Opportunist said. "I don't hate you. How can I hate you when you were just telling the truth?"

Skeptic's eyes widened, and then there was a heavy pause that lasted a second too long, that made Opportunist feel how suffocating the tension between them was.

Opportunist couldn't take it, so he smiled until his face hurt. "You were just pointing out the facts, just like you always do! What's to hate about the truth?"

Opportunist forced himself to take a step forward, pushing his shaking to the side. He put a hand on his chest and said in a sincere tone, "If anything, I should be apologising to you. I shouldn't of gotten involved with your work."

"You were worried about me."

"I kept annoying you when you tried to focus."

"You wanted me to relax and I wouldn't listen to you."

"I overstepped and I-"

"No, I overstepped and I pushed you away-"

"You were right!"

"No I wasn't!"

"I am selfish!" Opportunist yelled, then was immediately appalled at his outburst, but he kept going, in the hopes of making Skeptic understand. He clutched at his chest feathers as he exclaimed, "You were right- all I do is think about myself! I tried to insert myself into your work and I made you angry! You were right, just like always. All I do is think about my own personal gain and nobody else's, so I am deeply sorry, Skeptic."

Skeptic took a deep breath in, then took a step forward, holding his hands out to Opportunist.

His voice was calm, but with a hint of fear in it, as he said, "Oppy, what happened was completely my fault. You don't have to make excuses for me. I was the one in the wrong, and you were the one that was only trying to help me, and I ended up lashing out at you, which wasn't fair."

"You weren't selfish for worrying about me," Skeptic continued, his voice becoming more weak and desperate as he spoke. "You cared about me and brought me food and checked up on me. How is that selfish? The only person who was selfish was me, because I cared more about my stupid work than what my amazing partner was doing for me."

Opportunist's heart ached at 'amazing partner' but he forced himself to forget it. It wasn't real. Those feelings weren't real. It was all a ploy to keep Skeptic close to him.

He shook his head, pushing back tears as hard as he could. "No, it's okay, Skeptic. Y-You don't have to lie about making me feel better."

"I'm not lying!" Skeptic pleaded. He took a step closer to Opportunist, who hugged himself and looked away, but couldn't block out the sadness and guilt in Skeptic's voice as he pleaded, "Oppy, please! I'm so sorry for how I treated you, but I won't stand here and let you convince yourself that you were in the wrong! I was the one who treated you like shit!"

Skeptic reached out, and gently took his hands into his own, and Opportunist hated how nice it felt to hold those hands again.

This close, Opportunist could see Skeptic's eyes shining with tears, as he whispered, "Oppy, I'm so sorry for hurting you. You didn't deserve any of it, and you definitely don't deserve to be blaming yourself for my mistakes. You're not selfish, Oppy-"

"Yes, I am," he mumbled in protest, but Skeptic just continued talking, "-and you care so much about me and the flock-"

"No I don't-"

"- and I should've appreciated you more and told you how much I loved you-"

That's when Opportunist snapped.

Loved him?

Opportunist can't love anything else, and nothing can love him.

"No!" he yelled, ripping his hands out of Skeptic's grasp, leaving him floundering, and Opportunist couldn't stop the tears from flowing, sobbing his heart out as he yelled, "You said it yourself! I'm useless! All I care about is myself and my own gain and I made you love me! I manipulated you into falling in love with me just to satisfy my own pathetic loneliness!"

Opportunist broke down then, hugging himself and sobbing loudly. His head was so confused, so torn between wanting to throw himself in Skeptic's arms, and keep far away from him so that Opportunist couldn't hurt him anymore.

But one thing he couldn't do was look away from him, so when he opened his eyes, he was shocked to find the other with tears silently streaming down his face. But the surprising thing was the fact that Skeptic had a steely, determined look in his eyes now, and when they made eye contact, Skeptic's voice was low and firm as he asked, "Is that what you believe? Is that what you think happened between us?"

Opportunist nodded.

Skeptic took a sharp breath in, then said, "Wait here," before marching out of the room.

Opportunist just stood there, having no clue what was happening, other than the fact that his heart yearned for Skeptic's presence again.

Thankfully, it wasn't long that he had to wait, as Skeptic quickly marched back inside, head bowed as he held his- his diary?

Skeptic had kept and written in a diary every day since they became their own people, to help understand his thoughts and the situation around them.

"Skeptic, what are you-" Opportunist tried to speak, but then he gasped as Skeptic fell to his knees, opening his diary up to a certain page and read aloud, "Day forty- Opportunist invited himself to come on a walk with me. Not sure why, but I didn't mind. Talks a lot, but somehow still manages to say absolutely nothing- why is that? Clearly likes talking but isn't saying anything meaningful. Does he just like his own voice? Requires further investigation."

Opportunist had no idea what was going on, and he just stared as Skeptic flipped a few pages over and continued, "Day Fifty- We've all tried to come to terms with this new arrangement and settle within ourselves, but Opportunist is the most interesting case. He keeps complimenting people, offering himself up to be useful, but the others don't trust him. I see the sadness and the fear in his eyes when he thinks no one's looking. Everyone else says he's a good for nothing backstabber, but I don't think so. Will try to get closer to him."

"Skeptic, what is this?" Opportunist quietly asked, but Skeptic's focus was solely on the diary, his voice getting louder and more passionate as he spoke.

"Day Ninety- Opportunist claimed to know a place for peace and quiet, but we quickly got lost in the woods. Opportunist told me that he had everything under control, but this was clearly a lie. He seems to present himself as a very capable person, as if terrified of not being useful."

Skeptic paused to take a deep breath, and his voice wavered as he continued, "But as we kept walking, I kept asking questions, and I realised that Oppy was not who I thought he was at all. He lies because he's scared, but when he's not, he can be-really pleasant to be around. He approaches things differently to me, and I actually quite enjoyed our discussions. I hope to talk to him again soon."

"W-What are you doing?" Opportunist asked. "What are you trying to prove?"

Skeptic wiped a cheek with his palm as he kept reading. "Day one hundred and fifty- I'm not sure what this nervousness in my chest is about, but it only shows up whenever Oppy is around. Oppy is my friend, and the more I learn about him, the more I'm fascinated with him. His ideas, his actions, his smile- there's just something about Oppy that pulls me in and never wants to leave his side. I know he's a scared individual, I know that's why he betrays people. He thinks he's so confident, that he needs to be evil to survive- but I've never met someone with a warmer soul. I-I know what this feeling is now."

Opportunist weeped, shaking his head. "No-No, this isn't true-"

"Day four hundred," Skeptic said, his voice devoid of warmth and passion, sounding empty now. "I've made the greatest mistake of my life."

That was when Opportunist realised what day Skeptic was referring to- the day of the fight.

"I thought if I figured everything out, knew about anything that could hurt him, he'd be safe. But the only thing that ended up hurting him was me."

That was why Skeptic had been working so hard? He had been that worried about something happening to Opportunist?

Looking back on it now, it did seem like Skeptic was looking into all possible threats that could happen to them. At the time, Opportunist thought he was just digging too deep, falling back into bad habits- but Skeptic kept talking about keeping the flock safe, which would include Opportunist as well.

"Why did I say that to him?" Skeptic continued, his bottom lip trembling as he read. "I love him so much. Why would I push him away like that? I should've listened to him, should've spent time with him- it would've been so lovely. But instead I hurt him, and I fear I can't undo the damage I've caused. I only hope I can make sure that he still finds happiness after me."

Finally, Skeptic looked up at Opportunist, and then he broke down crying.

"Oppy, I'm so sorry!" he cried, clutching his diary to his chest, and Opportunist felt himself weep with Skeptic, his whole body shaking with grief.

"Oppy, I'm so sorry for saying that to you! You're not useless! You're not selfish! You're the most caring and kindest person I know! You were always there to try and help me, when leaving me alone would've been so much better for you! You wouldn't stop caring about me!"

Skeptic lowered his head in shame, and then dared to inch closer to Opportunist, and all he wanted was to never let Skeptic go.

"Oppy, my love, you are not a monster. You did not trick me into falling in love with you. I knew who you were from the start, the real you, and that's who I fell in love with."

Opportunist cried, and he saw how much it hurt Skeptic to see him in pain. "How do I know?" Opportunist whispered. "How can I be sure-"

"Take this," Skeptic said, and then thrust his diary towards Opportunist. "You can keep it."

"What? Skeptic, I can't." Skeptic never let anybody touch his diary, and he was just giving it to Opportunist?

"Take it," Skeptic said, pushing the diary into his hands. "All of my thoughts are yours to read. I want you to see how I fell for you, how I still see the real you. If I can't have you as my love again, then I at least want you to not think such horrible things about yourself, not when I deserve them."

Numbly, Opportunist lifted the diary up, unsure of how to feel about all of this, but he found himself cautiously opening the diary to a random page, and he gasped at how many times he caught the words 'Oppy' and 'love' in the same sentences.

Opportunist fell to his knees in front of Skeptic, as the realisation hit him.

Opportunist hadn't deceived Skeptic.

Skeptic knew what he was from the very beginning.

He took a deep breath in, and lifted his head to look at Skeptic, and it felt as if the clouds in his mind were finally starting to evaporate.

He gently put the diary down, and whispered, "I need to do one thing to be sure of something."

"Anything," Skeptic whispered back, so Opportunist gently cupped his face, and pressed a soft kiss against his lips.

Immediately, Skeptic sighed into the kiss, but didn't dare touch Opportunist without permission yet, but Opportunist didn't care. All he could focus on was the way his heart was pounding, at how right this felt.

He loved Skeptic. He genuinely fell in love with Skeptic, and Opportunist could never trick his own heart like that.

He pulled back, and looked Skeptic in his regretful, beautiful eyes, and whispered, "I forgive you."

It was as if all the weight escaped from Skeptic then as he sighed in relief, putting his hands on Opportunist's hips. "You do? You really forgive me?"

"I do, love," Opportunist said, tracing his fingers along Skeptic's jawline. "But-But you still hurt me, so you have to earn me back."

"I will," Skeptic said earnest, while nodding his head adorably. "I'll win you back all over again. Everytime."

"I know you will," Opportunist murmured with a smile, then leaned in for another kiss.

They were going to be okay.

[hufflezki]

Hii! I've loved everything I've read from your account so far and wanted to request something of course only if you're interested/have time ✨️🫶

This is a Sirius x reader situation.

I was thinking a reader maybe like Malfoy little sister or any other pureblood family, and she is a "rebel" just like Sirius. The reader and Regulus could be classmates or know each other because they migh have classes together, partnering for projects, childhood friends or something like that...but since she's also different/same situation as Sirius, he [Sirius] might feel attracted to her because he feels like she understands, so he asks his brother for help to get her attention, in a way reader could be a bridge between the Black brothers, like Regulus' best friend and Sirius' partner/gf?. She might end up taking Regulus with her from Black Manor.

Thank youu, sorry if this is long idk how detailed it should be a request 😭 no problem if you decide not to write it 💕

[ 🦢 ᝰ.ᐟ ] thank you for requesting, loviee<33 sorry if this took a little while. I also ended up changing some things, but I hope you don't mindd!

-> sirius black x gn!reader, who doesn't share the same beliefs as her pureblood family, reader and regulus are close friends, james potter being a wingman, the black brothers live in the potter manor, word count: 1,233

“Come on, Jamie, don't tell me you’re not even a little bit curious?” Sirius whisper-yells at his bespectacled friend, as they peer at you and Regulus—in the living room—from behind a wall, not at all looking amiss. James wasn't quite sure how he ended up following Sirius’ steps. He’s been acting like this ever since he found out from Regulus, he definitely didn't beg him for information, that you had rejected another one of your parents’ proposals for an arranged marriage. And, apparently, this time you—alongside your younger sibling—finally decided to leave home with a friend's help. Hearing that alone sent Sirius into some kind of nostalgic mess. Which is why you’ve never left his mind the past few days.

Sirius knew you, you’d been one of the first few friends Regulus made at Hogwarts. The both of you share quite a few similarities, something that probably brings sense as to why you’re both so close. You both won't tolerate anything you deem nonsensical. You’re both just as stubborn. But you know how to use your wits to your own advantage. Which Sirius finds very admirable about you.

At first, he tried dismissing his feelings as just him being worried for his brother’s friend. After all, Regulus seems very fond of you out of all his friends. His little brother never misses to mention your name in a heartbeat. And Sirius, wanting to earn back his title of a good brother, began entertaining you as well when you came over. That’s until he found himself falling deeper into your labyrinth. Turns out, you shared more similarities with him. You come from a lineage of purebloods, that you despise because of the way they treat you. And you have a younger brother—who you’re trying to raise the best as you can. And that made Sirius dote on you even more. To the point his friends are beginning to notice.

“Curious? About my best friend's brother’s friend?” James scrunches his eyebrows together, repeating his words. “Geez, I think I’m gonna have a stroke.” He adds, but Sirius is too distracted to even hear him. Leaving James to stare at his hopeless looking friend. He’s never seen him this way before. Though, to be fair, you are giving his best friend a hard time just by being Regulus’ friend. Not to be taken as offensive, or anything, but he’s been acting kind of like a huge wall between you and Sirius. James finds it funny, though. Apparently, all it takes to cockblock Sirius is his own little brother.

A minute later, your two spectators see Regulus stand up, mutter something inaudible to you, before leaving. Sirius and James are forced to separate, pretending on doing their own things by the hallway. Regulus passes by them and eyes them, suspiciously, as James strangely inspects a nearby potted plant while Sirius fixes the broken head of a lamp. “You two can stop. We've already seen you.” The two friends exchange a look, before Regulus turns the hallway and heads to the kitchen.

Sirius gives James an incredulous look, before his friend gives him a slight push. “Go!” James eggs him on, grabbing him on the shoulders and turning him to the direction of the kitchen. “What? What do you want me to do?!” Sirius pushes himself back on his feet, but fails to do so when James starts pushing him forward. “Just ask Regulus to help you! You’re so obvious already!” Sirius turns around to face him, eyes wide. “I am not!” He looks at him as if James was the one being ridiculous for accusing him of acting like something that he is. Suddenly, you pop out behind them, from the living room.

“What’s all the commotion?” You startle James for a bit, but he finds his composure and convinces you with an excuse. Now, he’s dragging you back to the living room, with a promise to play chess. James, narrowing his eyes at his best friend, then mumbles. “Talk to him.” Before disappearing with you.

Sirius is then left to do one of the least things he wants to.

Talk to his brother about the way he feels.

“You like my friend?” Sirius feels like a proper dog with its tail tucked between its legs, as he feels Regulus’ scrutinizing gaze. Or is that just how he stares at people? Either way it was a little terrifying. He was trying to be vulnerable here, telling his little brother about how things started changing after you and him had that talk the last time. And suddenly the air seems rigid between him and Regulus.

Then a sigh, Sirius sees his brother grab the teapot and pour him a cup of tea. “Here, it should ease your nerves.” With his voice monotonous, he gives it to Sirius, who’s still a little bewildered. “Take it.” Regulus starts insisting, and eventually Sirius carefully grabs it from him, taking a big sip. And it did help, quite a bit actually, as his shoulders started to grow lighter.

“Green tea?”

“Yes. It's the only thing we have left.” Sirius hums, nodding his head as he takes another sip, before placing it back down on its coaster. “Anyway, I don't control how you feel. If you like them, I think it's best if you had this talk with them instead of me.” Regulus turns around, pouring himself a cup this time. Sirius follows him, pursing his lips, unsure. “Are you sure? That this is alright with you, I mean.” Familiar grey eyes stare at him once more, before Regulus speaks. “Like I said, I don't control the way you feel. Either way, I know you have good intentions. And they seem equally as interested in you” Regulus pauses. “I say, take the risk and just tell them. You deserve love too, Sirius.” With that said, Sirius feels much better than he did before.

He may not have been present for Regulus the last few years, but he’s glad that his brother’s giving him a chance to redeem himself.

“Sorry to interrupt your sibling time, but I just beat James in chess, and now he wants a rematch with an audience.” Your voice can be heard entering the kitchen, James trailing behind you like a defeated puppy. Sirius can’t help but smile. “If that's the case then,” He approaches you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, not missing the way you try to avoid his gaze. “I’m on your side.” Sirius mumbles, and he sees the corner of your lips tilt up.

“Great choice.” You finally meet his eyes, causing him to feel a little dazed. You’re even more charming up close. “As much as I want to team up with you as well. Seeing the circumstances, I guess it leaves me no choice.” You both hear Regulus pass by between the three of you, exiting the kitchen. “Wait, you’re teaming up with me?!” James trails behind him, giddy to have someone on his team.

“No, but I’ll be here to watch you lose again.” You both hear James’ loud gasp from the hallway.

“We shouldn’t let them wait much longer.” You say, Sirius trails his hand down to the small of you back, nodding in agreement. Before the both of you make your way back to the living room as well.

This day might’ve turned out much better than he anticipated.

marauders era masterlist ꩜ .ᐟ

[ihaznoclue]

Jealousy [Grace Howard x Reader]

Request - Anonymous - Need 10 more pulls before I can select Grace as the selectable agent. In the meantime can you do a Grace x Reader? Someone tried flirting with the reader and Grace gets jealous. To show others that you’re with her she gifts them a pair of her goggles to wear. On the plus side though it helps as they’re in charge of security

a/n; I wish you luck on getting grace - Fingers crossed!

warnings - Flirting, Possessiveness

╰┈➤ You decided to have a bit of fun at the nearest club near belobog Industry hoping Grace wouldn't mind too much about this whole situation

Though your mind was totally changed as Grace opposed to come with you just in case of any emergencies that would happen or if something bad would to happen to you, so you didn't mind at all

The club was packed with a lot of people, neon lights were reflecting everything, off the glossy floors at the dance floor and the smoky air that was covering the air

All you could hear was the drumming of the music, vibrating off the floor and feeling it through your feet to your whole body

You were only in here for a couple minutes, telling Grace that you were going to get a quick drink from all the dancing you did earlier, while drinking the water you ordered a random person came up to you

He was too confident..

"Sup" The man spoke, sipping their drink that you saw them order near by "You look like you could use some company"

You kindly gave him a smile, glancing back to where grace was but disappeared somewhere

"I'm with someone at the moment, I just went to go get a drink"

"Hm, It's a shame that they left a good looking person out here all by themselves" The man flirted which caused you to cringe

Though before you could respond, a familiar feminine voice cutted through the conversation, the man glancing over at Grace with a raised eyebrow

"Back off" She warned

You didn't have much time to react or turn around to know it was Grace behind you

The scent of the oil and grease still on her from working on machines just earlier today before she went to come with you to the club

Then she stood between you and the man who dangerously flirted with the person she loves which was you of course

The man clicked his tongue as he rolled his eyes, muttering something until he vanished off into the crowd of people who were dancing and having a good time

You smirked until you spoke "Jealous much?"

Even though grace didn't deny it, she only crossed her arms as her googles rested around her neck "I don't like when people are flirting with you" She mumbled out

"You know you could just kiss me, maybe mark your own territory the old-fashioned way" You shrugged

Grace thought for a moment, a little faint smirk coming up on her lips "Tempting, but I have a better idea"

She un-crossed her arms, reaching up to her googles that were hanging around her neck as she tugged it off and stepped closer to you with a smile

Then slipping the goggles over your head with such care, surprisingly they were a perfect fit for you

She adjusted them a bit by the strap behind your head then started to fiddle with it like she was putting something on or in the goggles

"Andd.. there" She said "Now everyone knows you are with me"

"Because of the goggles?" You questioned

"Beacuse no one wear my gear unless I trust them, or want them too look good in them, you're both" She confessed

You playfully rolled your eyes "You know this also makes me look more official, like I outranked everyone else now"

Grace smirked "You do.. You're dating a technician who is pretty good with machines and fixing stuff"

You laughed as you bumped her shoulder a little "Sureee~" You teased

-A<3

[sundew199]

Love You Anyway

a/n: this is going to be a small series and will be cross-posted to Ao3 at some point. I wanted to explore how Reiner deals with his trauma during the four year time skip while also building the foundations for a relationship between him and reader. anyway, enjoy!

tags: Reiner Braun x f!reader, canon compliant, angst, trauma, childhood friends, grief, sprinkle of fluff, first-kiss, angst, developing feelings

synopsis: Reiner is home from Paradis.

Part One

Seagulls cawed along the port, flapping their wings and following the movements of anyone that walked by. The sky was a perfect blue, not a single cloud in the sky, temperature optimal for outdoor activities.

You were given the day off, military personnel above you receiving word that the warriors were returning from their mission in Paradis.

As an analyst for the warrior unit, you worked closely with Magath and Zeke when he was here, but since Zeke and Pieck were sent on recon to Paradis, you've been left with meaningless tasks that barely get you through the day. Draining was an understatement, you swore they would cut you from the unit soon if the warriors didn't return. But hearing that chatter gave you that bit of motivation to get through the days until you could welcome them home.

For many reasons you anticipated their return, five years you went without seeing your friends and five years you wondered how life might change for you when they completed their mission. It was a challenge enough trying to earn your stay in the warrior unit without trying to inherit a titan and you truly hoped everything went according to plan on Paradis.

Putting aside all the professionalism, getting to see Annie, Bertholdt, Marcel and Reiner again was what was getting you through the day. Most days off, you hung around the neighborhood the Marleyans give to Eldian Military Personnel, very few lived in the small neighborhood. And it was lonely, you were lonely. Pieck used to come by when she could and you wished she were here walking with you to the port to greet the returning warriors.

Six months ago was when you overheard the chatter of the warriors returning soon and everyday since then you waited, not like you were doing anything different before. It felt surreal that they would be here and curiosity formed images in your mind of what they'd look like now. Bertholdt would be tall, that you knew for certain. Annie probably wouldn't have changed too much, maybe longer hair. Marcel and Reiner would probably grow into themselves, Reiner the most.

A soft laugh left your nose thinking about Reiner. You two were close, back when you were a warrior candidate. He'd pester you as much as he could, sat right by you at meal times and walked home with you. Him and his mom lived a couple houses down from your house, so of course the two of you would walk together in the mornings as well. Though he annoyed and pestered you, he was your best friend, always making you laugh till your stomach hurt. You were twelve when you kissed him the first time, just a little peck on the cheek as you stood on the steps to your front door. His face was flushed red, frozen at the bottom of the steps and stars appeared in his eyes. Reiner then smiled and tried to say something, but you were called in by your parents before he could, giggling as you closed the door in front of you.

That memory sat bitterly inside you now, festered like a wound everytime it came to the forefront of your mind, because the very next day him and the other six inherited their titans. And the announcement that they were being sent to Paradis for a mission followed soon after. What hurt the most about that day was never getting a second to see Reiner before he left, sent home by Magath after telling you didn't need to be there. Sick with grief at not knowing when you'd see Reiner again, you cried night after night and waved the four off them off with red swollen eyes from the crowd gathered for the parade. Reiner looked so handsome in the pristine white uniform, his short bangs fringing across his forehead.

During the whole mess of not getting to say goodbye or if you'd ever see him again, it dawned on you that his life was limited to thirteen years. It felt like your world was crushed at twelve years old. So even when he came home there was a limit with him, like a countdown above his head to remind you that your time with him would dwindle with each passing day.

Time progressed and you learned not to think about the years you had left with your friends, if you would get anytime at all that is. The price Eldians paid for a sliver of 'freedom' or a 'better life' made you sick, the exact reason you couldn't stomach being a warrior candidate anymore. You only decided after the four of them left, realizing that it could be you next. Magath brought you on as an analyst for the unit, instead of keeping you as a candidate. Though life wasn't easy or even fair, you'd rather not limit the time you had.

Still on your way to the port to greet the returning warriors, you spotted Reiner's mother and maybe relative's of Reiner. A big part of you held resentment for them. At first you couldn't place it, too young to understand what you were feeling when Reiner told you inheriting a titan would essentially bring his parents together. He was naive and so were you at the time, but to see your friend driven to fix a problem that wasn't even his fault to begin with stirred the resentment you couldn't name just yet.

Avoiding them and turning down a different street, you stopped by a bakery. Their time on an island so far behind with Marley probably deprived them of delicacies like warm fresh pastries. Annie favored donuts, Marcel danishes, Bertholdt éclairs and Reiner strudel. Buying one for each of them was expensive on your next to nothing salary, but you told yourself it was worth it and that they deserved it.

Not much time was left until the ship would be returning, based on your assumption, so your hurried down the street, avoiding any collisions and politely excusing yourself as you moved amongst people. Excitement, anxiety, and maybe joy bubbled inside you getting closer to the port, spotting a ship that looked like something they'd arrive in.

Five years.

Five years and you were moments away from seeing your friends again. This day felt like it'd never come, never allowing yourself false hope.

A few Marleyan officers were lined up just at the end of where a ramp would be propped for everyone to walk down to the pier the ship pulled into. This only reaffirmed that they had to be close. You spotted Porco and his parents standing near where Reiner's mother and Annie's father stood, still set on steering clear of them, even if you and Porco were kind of friends. More coworkers than anything, it got old listening to him complain about Reiner and how he stole the Armored from him, after all these years.

Standing somewhere in the middle of where the officers were and the families, you stuffed the pastries into the bag slung on your shoulder, adjusting the Armband on your sleeve.

A blaring ship horn signaled its docking, your heart nearly jumping out of your chest. Time felt purposely stretched, everything seemingly taking longer than normal, but when you saw the ramp propped to the railing of a ship and a blonde head of hair, you stiffened, but it was only Zeke.

Pieck filed out next, and then Reiner. You barely recognized him, left awestruck as he casually walked down the ramp to the pier. He was taller, so much taller and sculpted in muscle. His hair looked longer than you'd expect it to be, longer bangs hanging down in the front, he looked like, a man.

Once Reiner filed out, you expected to see one of the other three, and when it started to look like no other warrior would be leaving the ship, you chalked it up to them maybe taking longer to exit. But you knew that was a silly lie to tell yourself, they would've come out by now.

A woman with short brown hair was brought out in cuffs, just when you stepped back away a bit further from where you stood, catching your attention. Who was she? She looked malnourished and weak, like there was no life or even light inside her. The soldier handling her, shoved her in front of the three officers, hearing the bark in his voice and disgust.

"-holder of the jaw."

Was all you heard and tears were welling in your eyes. Marcel was dead, confirming the sick suspicion in your gut you didn't want to face, glancing at Porco completely unaware and standing with his parents, but something in you felt as if he already knew. But you refused to think about Annie and Bertholdt, there had to be an explanation for why they were here right now.

All three of the remaining warriors started walking in your direction, Zeke giving you a polite nod, and Pieck pulling you in for a small hug. It was Reiner who just glanced at you, then glanced back, jaw going slack and moving to walk back to you as he almost walked past you. There were so many words at the forefront of your brain, you had no idea what to say. So the two of you just stared at each other, deprived of the ability to speak. He was home.

"Reiner!"

His mother chirped that fake and shrill voice that was meant to come off as motherly and happy, seeing how Reiner's eyes dropped and his body pulling him to greet his mother, all before he could say anything to you. You understood, you'd never hold something like that against him. Reiner loved his mom and the bitter ugly part of you wished he didn't, because she didn't deserve his love, not with the way you knew how she used him and even talked about him. A son used as a pawn for the chance at a better life, nursing him with falsehoods that even you could see through. Maybe you were more insightful due to your parents making you blatantly aware the difference between Marleyan and Eldians since you could comprehend thoughts, seeing right through the lie Reiner was fed about his father coming home to him and his mother if he inherited a titan.

Cumbersomely standing there, only a few feet away, messing with the ends of the old brown jacket thrown over your white button-up. The question on whether you should wait for Reiner or just head back home caused a bigger internal turmoil than you expected. You wanted to talk with him, catch up on the last five years but didn't want to interrupt the reunification between him and his family.

"We'll need you to report to base this afternoon for a briefing." Magath barked, appearing in front of you with a stern, unimpressed look. Wishful thinking to assume your day off was going to be taken seriously.

"Yes sir." Muttering back in a small voice, not trying to hide your disappointment. At least you had some of the day off, better than nothing you suppose.

There was no time to try and catch Reiner before you left, conversing with his mother still and a few other adults, more members of his family you assumed. A little girl with dark brunette hair was hanging off his arm, looking up at him with stars in her eyes. That must be his cousin, you've never met her but seen her out with Karina and her mother at the market during your weekly grocery trips.

Lingering around the port would only get you reprimanded by Magath, deciding you'd find time to catch up with Reiner later.

Officers from all branches of the Marleyan military hung in and around the base when you arrived, politely excusing yourself making it down to the briefing room, clutching the brown bag with the pastries still inside, the brown paper bags crinkling with movement and giving you that sinking reminder that only one of those pastries would be given away. What had happened over there for only Reiner to return, and for Marcel to die? You hoped Annie and Bertholdt were alive, even if they were prisoners.

Magath stood at the head of the table, Zeke sitting in the chair across from Pieck with Porco next to her. Reiner wasn't in here, pushing that thought away as you pulled the chair out to sit beside Zeke.

"The mission to Paradis was a failure, a complete loss." Magath began, and you suddenly didn't want to hear anything regarding the matter. With all the training the four of them endured to earn their titans and to be sent off just for the entire thing to fail felt, wasted. They had all the advantage but still failed, how ruthless and brutal were the island devils?

Majority of the information Magath and Zeke relayed was tuned out, staring at the small files you brought with you. Paying attention would've been to your advantage, knowing reports would need to be written and sent in to the upper military officials of Marley. But you couldn't, all you could think about was how scared all four of them must've been, how they only had each other to rely on.

"All we know is Leonhart is in their custody, unsure if she's alive still and the colossal was stolen, just like the jaw. We were able to retrieve the thief of the jaw titan, after she willingly gave herself up according to Braun and will be passed down to Galliard immediately."

That information snapped you back into focus, looking at Porco and seeing the relief or maybe anguish on his face. His brother was gone and wouldn't be given the proper time to mourn his loss, expected to perform his duty like it were nothing. Fuck this was sickening.

Annie was maybe alive but now your suspicions about Bertholdt were confirmed, dying at the hands of the enemy. Two of your friends were dead, one of them captured and the other returning as the sole survivor. You had enough fingers to point at the culprits of this outcome, but could only openly condemn one.

"We're down two titans as of now. Marley is expecting this unit to perform as if we were at our full power. Everyone will pull their weight, we have other priorities as well as retrieving the remaining titans from Paradis to focus on." Magath sighed, rubbing the back of his neck and then snapping back to look at you.

"Braun is currently in interrogations, once he is out I will need detailed reports from his time on Paradis, do not let him leave any details out. Understood?"

"Understood sir."

Returning home that evening felt heavier, somber and empty. You couldn't even be happy that Reiner was home without the reminder of what was lost. The anger you held for the 'island devils' was redirected to Marley. Their hatred and obsession with Eldians led to this. There was no openly opposing or speaking out against them, unless of course you wanted to be on the next ship bound for Paradis to live out the rest of your days as a mindless titan.

Tomorrow you'd get to see Reiner, maybe do a little bit of catching up before you had to transcribe his time on Paradis for the higher-ups. But you allowed yourself one little smile as you thought back to seeing him for the first time in five years, how handsome he looked and how when he recognized you made your chest flutter softly.

~

Tomorrow didn't come, in fact it wasn't until a week later you finally got to see Reiner. His interrogations were strictly classified up until he was finished and it only heightened the anxiety of what happened on Paradis. Did he perform traitorous acts? Did he defect from his duties? You weren't sure and wouldn't get any answer despite what you needed for a report. Magath told you that he wasn't sure when the interrogations would end but told you that Braun could stop by your office at any point and to be ready.

And that knock of your door right before it opened, did anything but prepare you, jumping out of your skin when you looked up to see Reiner, loosely holding the door knob, hunched over in a way that displayed his exhaustion. Without thinking, you jumped up and almost ran over to him, stopping just before you were within arms reach.

"Rein-"

Words snipped as he yanked you into him, embracing you tightly with the bulbous arms that felt so safe. Cheek pressed to his chest and his chin hooking over your head, you heard the small sniffle from above. It felt wrong to be unfamiliar with this version of him, because there weren't any others for you to be familiar with, besides how he was when you two were twelve. But it was mind-numbing, just looking at him you could see the hollowness that engulfed him, whatever events on Paradis draining the light, the one you were so drawn too.

"I missed you."

Heart thumping wildly and nervously, you gently pushed him back to ensure you heard him correctly. Dark eye bags dragged his skin and aged him, beginnings of facial hair littering around his mouth. He repeated the three words again and it all hit you at once. Looking at him, felt like looking at a stranger, a stranger you should know, but he was so different it almost felt sad to say you weren't sure who you were looking at. But it was still Reiner, and maybe there was still some of that boy you knew inside of him, only hoping at this point. A part of you wasn't expecting him to miss you, at least not from the way his words sounds so relieved.

"I missed you too...so much."

Falling into an embrace once more, standing there in your small office and appreciating the fact you got to hug at least one of your friends. It was all bittersweet, but you took what you could and didn't complain.

"Sorry I couldn't tell you at the port, I just-"

Silencing him with a deft finger to the center of his lips, shaking your head. He had no reason to apologize, ignoring the selfish part that feels he should've ignored his mom for just a second to say hello. But that was his mother and you didn't have priority over her.

"Don't apologize for something you can't help, okay?" Reaching to cradle his face, the comfort that instantly came over him when you did so. He was nearly muttering an apology again until he stopped himself, flitting his eyes to yours and forcing a small smile. Your heart broke for so many reasons, what had they done to him?

"Magath assigned me to get information for reports from you." Sounding so nervous when you spoke, seeking approval or understanding from him as this was expected from you, not something you were exactly willing to do. The pain was all the more apparent at the reminder as to why he was in here, recoiling away inwardly in the way he sighed.

"Right. Can I see what they're wanting to see?" Stepping back timidly and looking to the open files on your desk. Nodding, you walked around to where your chair was, handing the first one to him. You'd briefly glanced at it as you went through all of them. His body plopped down in the chair across from you, resting his cheek on his fist and scanning the words typed to the page.

"They just interrogated me for a week, I don't see the point in rehashing the whole ordeal."

The tone shifted to frustration and you couldn't help but agree with his statement. Surely someone could've written everything he said down during that week. This almost felt like a punishment for failing the entire mission, and it made you sick.

"I know, I'm just doing my job and what's been asked of me." Looking away in shame, as if you were the one who ordered this and not the other way around. Reiner looked up and frowned.

"I know that, it's just...pointless to have you listen to this shit."

How bad was the mission on Paradis? It'd been a reoccurring question that blurred in your mind at every observation you made, but it only grew more apparent that it went horribly wrong the more hints were dropped. If that were the right way to put it.

In the silence, you grabbed two pens from your drawer, scooting closer with your chair, and taking the file back from him. His stare could be felt on your armband, the pristine white that almost blended in with your uniform. Reiner probably expected you to still be in the program, waiting to inherit a titan.

"Your armband?"

"I dropped out of the warrior program not long after you and the others deployed." Not letting him finish his question, knowing what he was going to ask. "I realized I wouldn't be fit to inherit one after that day. Magath saw me valuable enough to take on the position as analyst for the unit, hence the all white armband. It's rarely used as most Eldians aren't given military positions within the Marleyan ranks, but he bent the rules for me, I guess."

Reiner only gave a small nod, chewing on the inside of his cheek, a look of regret becoming present, leaving you confused. You didn't like how it sounded coming out, but there wasn't any other way to put it.

"We can do two files today and work through the rest, there's no specific date they need them by and I'm sure they'll tell me if they do."

Changing the subject, smiling at the small relief that came over Reiner, thankful to not have to spew out all his trauma all at once, and you were too. He took a moment to prepare himself and the turmoil swirled in his eyes as he fiddled with his hands.

"They're asking for the timeline from when you arrived on the island to when you broke the wall." Saying that last part quietly, the new information churning in your gut uncomfortably. You knew people on the island died at the hands of him and your other friends, there's no way they didn't. Just the idea that innocents were killed all for a selfish mission to reclaim the founder was placed on the shoulders of twelve year olds and asked to kill without remorse.

Quietly Reiner sighed, his hand shaking as he ran it through his hair, gathering his composure.

"After departing from the ship and meeting our contact to lead us further into the island, we camped as we traveled, gathering things we might need. Marcel had been leading us, keeping an eye out for anything out of the ordinary. We spent that time coming up with a plan to draw out the King, but never fully agreed on anything."

He stopped to give you a chance to write everything down, waiting until you looked up at him to continue on.

"We were approaching the wall on good time right before things took a turn. Marcel was countering a plan I came up with to draw out the founder, when it happened."

The tears were welling in his eyes as he spoke, and your heart clenched so tightly in your chest just hearing about Marcel, knowing what he might reveal to you and seeing the type of pain it brought Reiner to talk about it again.

"A pure titan came up from the ground, reaching out for me. I was frozen, I couldn't move, couldn't think." Swallowing the lump in his throat, staring off into the small bookshelf behind you, beginning to disassociate. "I'd be dead if Marcel didn't save me, pushed me out of the way, and I just stood there as that titan ate him."

A single tear rolled down your cheek, wiping it away before it could hit the parchment and smear the ink from your pen. Hearing about it was so much worse than you expected. Marcel died before the mission even really started. Of course Marcel would be the first one to try and save someone else, always so noble and it finally got him killed. You didn't blame Reiner, and you knew he was blaming himself and that it was only natural for him to do so. But it wasn't his fault.

"I ran until I couldn't anymore, collapsing once my legs gave out. Annie and Bertholdt caught up with me, and we disagreed on how to carry out the mission."

He was lying, you could tell he was from the way his eyes looked around the room frantically. There wasn't just a disagreement, and you knew whatever actually happened would get him in bigger trouble than he already was, so you didn't press.

"Once we agreed to break the outer most wall to draw out the King and the founder, we continued to camp until we were just on the outskirts. Annie kept the pure titans from attacking me and Bertholdt during that time. That morning, I carried Bert to the wall and met back up with Annie to prevent us from being spotted. Once the gate was down, Annie called the pure titans and gave me the opening to break through the gate leading into the second most inner wall. It was chaos and provided us enough cover to sneak into the walls as refugees. We joined their cadet corps about two years later and completed the three year training, falling into their ranks, infiltrating their military."

Ignoring the way your words were nearly illegible from how fast you were writing, you glanced up and felt the air leave your lungs. He was crying, silent tears rolling down his cheeks, leaving streaks in their wake. Dropping your pen and coming around to stand in front of him, you didn't think twice about cradling his face and making him look at you. Those beautiful golden eyes were muted with guilt and questions that no one could give an answer to. There were words on the edge of your tongues, yet nothing urged either of you to break the silence, letting your instincts guide you in cradling his head to your mid-section, letting him bury his face.

Unimaginable the horrors he must've seen the day he broke through that wall, the grotesque mangled bodies splattered on the streets from debris flying in the air. Twelve years old and there was more blood on his hands than the most senior officers in the Marleyan Military and he was just suppose to carry that with him like it was nothing. This was breaking him inside, tearing his mind apart at what he'd done, questioning himself and his morale.

"I see it when I go to sleep, I hear the cries and the begging, I can't escape it."

It will never leave him and you'd never been filled with more rage for Marley than you did right now. It wasn't just Paradis that stole the bright sunshine that filled Reiner, two culprits were to blame and it was unfair how you couldn't speak out against it.

"I see them, and Marcel in his final moments."

Rambling on as he wetted your uniform with tears, crumbling in that chair as he relived the painful memories all over again. Your throat was tight as you pleaded for the words to ease his pain, something to say to make it okay.

"I wish you didn't, it's not fair."

He pulled away from you then, holding you at your waist with his hands and you felt a rush of heat at how big they felt through your clothes, looking down at him with unshed tears.

Expecting him to say something to your rebuttal, you swallowed when he didn't, wishing you knew why he just chose to stare. He was examining you, never getting a chance to see you after being away for five years and it felt daunting.

"Are you comfortable doing one more file? It's up to you." Asking after a few long, painfully silent moments.

The trance he was in broke, removing his hands from your waist and resting them on his thighs, looking down at his feet.

"Yea."

More in-depth details about the cadet corp he trained in came to light, speaking about it easier than the previous topic. Reiner smiled occasionally when talking about the people he spent a good chunk of his time with over there, the friendships he made. The explanation on their gear lined up with what Zeke brought back with him, finding yourself fascinated with their technology, even if it were dated compared to Marley's. He decided to stop when he got close to the second attack they carried out on the walls, asking if you he could go over it the next day, agreeing without question.

Magath wasn't expecting you the rest of the day, assuming you and Reiner would be spending all your time filling out these reports. So for the time being, until you could return home, you caught him up on some of the changes here. You warmed seeing him smile at some of the things, a glimpse of the Reiner you remember peeking out.

"I live in the military housing they provide, not too far from Pieck and her dad."

"Is that an invitation?"

The boldness and arrogance in his voice surprised you, blinking at him with the rapid flutter of your lashes. He saw your surprise and doubled down a bit and you regretted your reaction.

"I just meant as in, well I didn't mean it like that."

And he laughed at the end of his sentence, filling you with warmth that was unexplainable, settling on a small sly smile.

"How did you mean it then?"

Eyes rolled back into his head, the brief flash of his canines stirring the butterflies in your stomach.

"I haven't seen you in five years, I'd-" A blush creeping onto his cheeks and turning his face bright red with bashfulness, prompting you to giggle. The little crush you two shared as children was still there, even after all this time. "I'd like a break from my mother as well."

"I don't have any housemates living with me, so you're more than welcome to come and soak up the peace and quiet if you want."

Softness overtook his features, easing the harsh lines that cut into his face, giving him that youthful look finally. Reiner nodded, rubbing his hands on his slacks and tapping his fingers absentmindedly.

"What's your address, so I can meet you there?"

"You can just walk home with me."

Your heart thumped at the nostalgia, remembering all those times you'd walk down the streets of Liberio with your elbows linked together. Memories like those were held so fondly in your heart, the good right before everything took a turn for the worst.

"Okay." Whispering back to you, voice laced with nerves and you couldn't help but find it adorable. "I have a meeting with some of the other Marleyan officers, shouldn't be long, do you mind waiting?"

"I don't mind." Folding your arms over the edge of the desk, catching the scribble of your handwriting on the reports you wrote. "It'll give me enough time to rewrite these so they can actually read them."

Another huff of a laugh left his lips, standing from the chair in front of your desk. Rising as well and meeting him on the other side, you gently took his hand, holding onto to his middle and ring finger. They used to be the same size, your fingers just slightly longer than his, but they were the same. Now his hand easily engulfed yours, could swallow it whole if it wanted. He looked down at you, on the precipice of saying something else but going against it and settling for another embrace.

This felt more warming and familiar, not like the desperation in his arms holding you close when he first came in. Encircling your arms under his tan coat around his torso, you squeezed him just a little and felt him return the gesture.

"I'll come by here when I'm done and we can walk back to your place."

~

Clicks from your steps on the pavement echoed in the empty sidewalk from the base, the setting sun giving everything a small glow. Reiner insisted on walking on the side closest to the street, ensuring he was still close to your side on the casual walk back. His meeting ended up going over what you expected it too, though it was enough time to think of something to cook.

He wasn't as cheery as he was when he left your office and you wanted to blame the officers for the mood change but you knew better than that. Reiner had been through a lot and everything was still processing for him. He left this country with three of his friends and came back alone and the mercy of the Marleyans. There was the fear that lingered that he'd be stripped of his titan once he set foot on the ground. But there wasn't anyone available to do so.

"How'd the meeting go?" Deciding to ask. He glanced down and sighed and you wondered what was going through his head.

"It was fine. They were discussing my salary."

"Salary?"

"Yea. They want to make me Vice Chief soon, not now as I'm still adjusting being back, but they'll go ahead and give me my pay increase now."

"That's a lot better than I was expecting."

A dry emotionless huff puffed from his nostrils, back to looking at was in front of him. "Me too."

It was quiet up until you started to direct him where to go, turning down streets and waiting to cross with some others still out and about. You wanted to grab onto his hand and lead him, but hesitated. Sure there wasn't much awkward tension between the two of you, but the lingering cloud of reality hung over you.

Even if both you and Reiner fell in love or spoke of your mutual affectionate feelings for one another, despite being apart for five years, there were only seven years left in his lifespan. So it felt pointless to even try and have a relationship, it'd be gone in a blink of an eye anyway. Yet you yearned for it almost childishly.

Bitterness came over you easily when you thought too long about how Reiner wouldn't grow old or have any chance of a family of his own either. He was robbed, all the titan holders were, hell the entire Eldian population was. How was it right to punish the descendants of egregious people from years ago? You didn't commit those acts, neither did Reiner so why you were slum of the earth and didn't deserve to breathe the same air as the people that won? How could anyone look away and think nothing was wrong with the segregation between people whose only differences were their blood? Why were you robbed of everything good in your life from the moment you took your first breath? Why didn't anyone care other than the people suffering?

"Hey, what's wrong?"

The quiet bass of his voice snapped you out of your raged filled thoughts, noticing the crescent marks from your nails digging into your own palms.

"Nothing. Last left and I'm down the street." Walking faster now, wanting to get away from the haunting reality that you'd never have anything good in your life as an Eldian. You couldn't even have love, because sooner or later that'd be ripped away, no matter who it was. But it didn't stop you from being compassionate or caring, it'd never stop you, but eventually you'd get tired of loving just to have it torn away and you hoped that day wasn't coming anytime soon.

Unlocking the front door, letting him in first, you started marched towards the kitchen and dropped your shoulder bag that carried anything you might need. The files you worked on him were in there as you started to look through the bag, not really searching for anything, just making sure everything was still there, and then your stomach dropped. The pastries you bought last week for all four of them were smushed at the bottom, ruined.

Tears were stinging your eyes, biting your bottom lip as it quivered, looking at the crinkled brown bags flattened from the weight of other things in your bag. You'd never get to give Marcel his danish or Bertholdt his éclair, and it was hopeless to think you'd see Annie again, she was probably already dead like the others.

A single tear rolled down onto your top lip, trying to wipe it away with your tongue, but Reiner already saw, standing at the other end of the small countertop, watching you stare at the bottom of your shoulder bag, wondering what had your so shellshocked. He moved carefully beside you, hovering a hand over your shoulder until you took three bags from the bottom and clutched them in your hands.

"What are those?"

And he almost didn't want to ask, not with the way your eyes shone with unshed tears or how your hands shook grasping the top of each bag. You looked so broken and hopeless, and the fault was already falling on him before he could stop it.

"These were pastries I picked up, for everyone's arrival back home. I um thought it would be a nice gesture, since it'd probably been a while since any of you had them."

Embarrassing the way your voice wavered with each syllable, the cracking of the consonants like fragile eggshells. Reiner swallowed thickly before you, giving a small smack of his lips as he looked away, the emotions coming over him faster than he could prepare for.

"Right."

"It was stupid, I should've just saved my money." Stomping over to the trash bin and tossing the pastries, sucking down a sob, feeling as if you just given up on ever seeing any of them again. Which you sort of had, but there evidence was clear as day, they were gone.

A large hand grabbed you at the bicep, turning you around to face him. There was no point in hiding your tears or the grief you'd been shoving down for the past week. You didn't want to feel or accept losing your friends, the ones you grew up with, the ones you let yourself be hopeful for their return. You hated it, despised the overwhelming sadness that shook your body where you stood, blearily looking at the one friend you had left, pitifully crying in front of. Why couldn't they all come home? Why didn't they deserve to come home?

"It's not stupid, you didn't waste your money-"

"I did Reiner!" Shouting at him, yanking your arm from his grasp, sobbing with your words at the admittance. "They're gone! And all I have left is you!"

Shifting on his feet, taking a step back, not sure what to make of what you just said, Reiner ran a hand down his face and tried not to break down into tears as well. He couldn't look at you.

"They're fucking dead! I'll never get to say good morning to Marcel again, or play cards with you and Bertholdt during lunch. I'll never get the satisfaction of getting Annie to say more than two words to me anymore, because they're dead!"

A dull pain shot into your knees as you hit the ground, crumbling into yourself on the floor of your kitchen, wailing with choked sobs that stung and scratched your throat. It hurt. You hurt. And your knew Reiner was hurting as well.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Please don't say that, please Reiner." Braving yourself to look up at him, only to find he was crouched down in front of you with tear red eyes and one or two already rolling down his cheeks. A small hand belonging to you, reached out to wipe away his tears, but it was no use, they were falling faster than you could catch them. He was putting all the blame on himself, and maybe he was to blame and you wouldn't know unless you asked but it'd be cruel of you too.

"I tried."

You weren't going to let him finish that thought, silencing whatever words might've come next by throwing yourself into him, hugging around his neck and sobbing into his shoulder, letting yourself feel all of it with no fear of judgement. Reiner moved so he could at least find some leverage against the cabinets behind him, holding you tightly and even letting his own face bury into the side of your head as he silently cried along with you.

"I shouldn't have yelled at you." Looking him in the eyes after willing yourself to pull away, no more tears spilling from your eyes. Reiner looked down as he let you sit in front of him, loosely holding your hand, tenderly squeezing it.

"It's fine."

"I'm not upset with you." Trying to save the conversation, hearing your shrill declaration that your friends were gone ringing in your ears, the wide eyed look he gave right after. You shouldn't have yelled, you hurt him.

"I know." Letting the back of his head hit the back of cabinet, adam's apple bobbing painfully in his throat. Your gut turned with regret and the pain of it just being you and him out of everyone who was still alive. All those ideas you had of what you wanted to do with all of them when they got back were like pinpricks on your heart. You'd never get those opportunities.

There wasn't anything else you could say that would ease the pain hugging you both so tightly, so you just curled up next to him, wrapping around his arm and leaning against his shoulder, closing your eyes. You tried not to think about them, tried not to imagine what their voices would sound like or even what they'd look like. All you had were the faint memories from before they left. You didn't even get to say goodbye.

Darkness crept into the kitchen when you opened your eyes again, head pounding and making you dizzy if you moved too fast. Sitting up and seeing Reiner was staring at the ceiling still, you nudged him. His eyes were even redder than before, crying to himself as you drifted off to sleep.

Why couldn't you think of anything to say? Why was your mind numb and empty when he looked back at you?

How does someone even begin to heal from this?

Why did someone have to heal from this?

"Are you hungry?"

A tiny nod was his response, sniffling hard to cease his crying for good, pulling you in for another embrace. Something light came over him as he kept you in his arms, like he was grounding himself in you.

Holding the back of his head, pressing your cheek to his, you kissed his temple without thinking, even kissing it again before letting go and standing on wobbly legs. The bright pink blush was back and you choked out a wet laugh, seeing the small crease in his cheeks. Reiner took the hand you offered and rose from the kitchen floor.

"What are you hungry for? I have limited options unfortunately but I can make do-"

Lips pressed to yours, hands holding the sides of your face carefully, guiding you to step closer to him. There was so much running through your mind, it was hard to believe Reiner was kissing you. The feelings that were harbored from a childhood crush were inflamed, engulfing your chest in a roaring fire urging you to kiss him back.

Deftly overlapping your arms around his neck, angling your body into his, Reiner held you at the waist, parting your lips with his for a deeper more meaningful kiss. He was so gentle and insisting all at once you were floating. His breath mingled with yours, like winds from two different seas meeting in the middle.

It was all so clear and a blur at once. You were in shock. The best kind of shock a small hum slipped out carelessly. This kiss needed to last forever, it couldn't end, you didn't want it too.

A gulp of air filled your lungs when the kiss broke, wrapping your hand around his wrist, caressing it with your thumb. Reiner gazed at you with a love-sick look, so vulnerable and open, like the cavity in his chest was open for you to take his heart and hold it in your hands. Safeguard it even.

Lips began to part to say something and you knew from the get go what he was about to say.

"Don't apologize." Laughing at the end of your sentence, seeing him deflate in a lighthearted manner. His lips came to press against your cheek, lingering there with the softness of a flower blooming from your skin. He brought you in for another embrace, hugging you so tight you thought he worried you would vanish before him. You were both hurt from the realization that things so dear to you were stolen when it was just within your grasp. And you wished you could take his pain away and yours, but all you could do was help him heal, if he let you.

"Some nights I wished you were over there with us, but after coming home, I'm so glad you weren't, because I could've lost you before I ever got the chance to return a proper kiss."

Memories of that night on the steps to your front door came to you, when you shyly kissed him before heading inside, giggling on the other side of the closed door. Who knew that would be the last time you'd have something with him for five years. As bitter as the memory was at times, you cherished it, even more so now.

"So you were returning a kiss from five years ago?" Pulling back to meet the lingering gaze, letting the hand on the center of your back balance you at an angle. Reiner blushed again, that dusty pink hiding the faint freckles that dotted his cheeks and nose.

"You didn't give me a chance last time." Humming sweetly, craning his head to the side so he could brush his lips over your cheeks, making you giggle softly and appreciate that at least he made it home.

Inevitably you both leaned in again after the silence became too much and slotted your lips together, letting the childhood crush flame bigger inside you both, ignoring the reality that loomed over your head, the reminder that it wouldn't last, but at least you could pretend in this moment. And maybe that reality had fallen over Reiner too from the way he pressed his lips harder into yours, like he had to make every second last because if he didn't he wouldn't have anything to hold onto when his time eventually came. You hated it and silently prayed for something to change, to extend his limited lifespan just a little longer, just so you could have more to look back on.

Reiner held you in the kitchen for an unknown amount of time, letting your cheek press into his tear stained shirt, listening to the beating of his heart. A swirl of emotions hung in the air, the giddiness of sharing your first kiss to the somber reality that you and him would always have an expiration date no matter what happened between you two, to the grief that it was just you and him.

No one deserved this, not you, not Reiner, not anyone. But this was life you were given, the hardships of being born a different race, the wrong one, the disgraced one and still having to go through life like it were nothing. All you wanted was your friends, to grow old with them, to see where life would take each of you. Even knowing you'd never have that it couldn't be helped how you yearned for it, cried for it and even prayed to no one for it.

Small happinesses, like the kiss you shared with Reiner were possibly just enough to keep you going, hope for a miracle that this wasn't the life you were meant to live. And maybe if the universe was kind you could take Reiner with you.

"I think I have enough leftover stew."

His chin came off your head, acknowledging you with a hum and letting you rummage around the icebox for what you were looking for. A sizable container with the frozen stew was scooped out into a pan over the stove, letting the poor excuse of heat work to make it edible.

Reiner sat on the barstool across the counter, watching you and letting his mind imagine the silliest things. Wondering if he could have a sliver of what he wished for in the time he had left. It didn't matter if he just reunited with you, he loved you and always had. Would he ever tell you? Probably not, because he'd love you till the day he died and yours would fade over time. It wasn't worth it, but deep down he hoped that maybe he was wrong and that loving you was worth it and would reap the rewards at the end of whatever this was. But he'd be a selfish bastard before and look where that had gotten him the past, the sole survivor of a mission that was suppose to put a looming threat to rest. He couldn't be selfish, not even with you.

"Here." Sliding the stew to him across the counter, not missing the way his eyes were glassy again. Reiner muttered a thank you as you joined to sit in the barstool next to him, moving the stew around lazily with your spoon. You weren't hungry but needed the nutrition, forcing yourself to eat what you could. Whatever happiness was in the air, vanished sitting there in silence next to him. Why did this have to be? All you could do was wish things were different over and over again.

"You can stay the night if you want, it's late."

The spoon clattered against the bowl and you met his sad eyes, giving him a smile to try and wash some of that sadness out.

"Thank you but I-"

"it's just an offer Reiner, I'm not forcing you." Nudging his elbow with your own. He deflated a little bit and you smiled, his arm coming to drape over your shoulders, leaning over to kiss the side of your head.

"Any other time I would, but I'm expected up there early."

Nodding, swallowing the disappointment, you huffed a small smile. "Figured. If you're not up for the reports tomorrow, don't force yourself okay? I mean it."

"Okay."

At the door, you clung to him in a hug, wishing you'd been more insistent about him staying here, even though the couch in your living room was no better than sleeping on the ground, you didn't want him to be alone. He was plagued with nightmares and the idea of him waking up alone, and confused shredded your heart. You wanted to comfort him like he did for you today, you wanted to be the person he leaned on, his support, he needed it more than he'd ever admit.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight Reiner."

[cigarettesafterkenma]

"i like you" pt. 1.5 - kozume kenma x reader

"who knew you were such a heartbreaker"

kenma's realization

kenma — along with his childhood friend, kuroo — was currently on the train heading home. even though he was glued to his psp, he couldn't concentrate on his game one bit. sometimes he would even space out while looking at his phone, causing him to die over and over.

realizing how unusually quiet the train ride was — due to kenma not repeatedly tapping at his screen — kuroo turned to see the zoned out boy beside him. wanting to break the weird silence, he decided to lighten up the mood.

"who knew you were such a heartbreaker" the ravenette teased, glancing at the half-blonde boy who now paused his game

kenma looked at him and frowned, "i don't get it... why was she crying?"

kuroo sighs at his friends obliviousness. he realized kenma really didn't understand this sort of love thing. his gaze softened as he explained gently.

"kenma... she confessed to you like a gazillion times and you ignored every single one of them" kuroo exaggerated. kenma on the other hand still seemed a bit confused, causing kuroo to internally face palm — something that kenma usually did to him.

"but i didn't ignore her this time..." kenma replied back, a bit frustrated as he thought finally replying would have the opposite outcome. the scene of you crying replayed in his head, causing him to slowly sink in guilt. he blanked out again, becoming too occupied with his thoughts.

'did i make it seem like i was annoyed at her for confessing..? i didn't really mind... i just didn't know what to say or how to feel'

kenma uncounciously lowered his phone from his face. he couldn't get you out of his head because of what happened earlier. all he asked you was why you kept telling him you liked him. his mind rushed with thoughts.

'i don't stand out'

'i don't do anything special'

'i don't talk to others'

'why does she like me and why is she so persistent about having me respond to her feelings?' kenma asked himself. the more he thought about you, the more your face popped up in his mind — the way your messy hair and skirt flowed with the wind, the warm sunset glare, or how you still maintained eye contact with him despite how much your body shook. the more he thought back to all of your past confessions, the more he realized how much you cared about him.

"ehhhh?" kuroo grinned as he noticed kenma's ears turn pink. wanting to help his friend repair the damage he caused on a sweet underclassman — and potential partner — he spoked,

"kenma...", his tone became gentle as his grin changed to a soft smile. "you've got a girl crying over you and telling you her feelings multiple times... she must really like you. so why not talk to her tomorrow and i don't know... fix things". kuroo suggested while giving kenma a pat on the back.

kenma sighed, the grip on his phone became tighter and tighter. his chest felt like it was caving in — was it guilt? frustration? fear? or was it something warm? something he was all to unfamiliar with — he wanted to patch things up but just didn't have the courage or words to do so.

however — he knew he had to take something.

with that, he looked at kuroo and nodded.

"okay..."

—————————————————————

a/n: life is not feeling fun right now. so expect more delays im sorry :(

[dawntread]

when you come to take my soul, take it, take it far away