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#thus the abandoned tag
merge-conflict · 7 months
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abandoned wip wednesday
(not strictly intended to inspire a sense of ominousness)
“-check the comms are good?” The disembodied voice was calm and unfamiliar.
“Roger,” V answered, sounding like she was speaking to [Goro] from within his own head. The video captured everything on her interface, and he was somewhat disoriented by the speed and smoothness with which she sorted through several screens before dismissing them all and turning to her companion. Welles, his name had been. A big man, ill at ease in the suit he was wearing, but charismatic in that overbearing, American way. “Jackie?”
“What?” Jackie asked, and then broke out into a laugh when V punched his shoulder. “Geez, yes, roger, whatever.”
“So that’s an affirmative?” The first voice asked dryly– the netrunner, Goro guessed. T-bug. “As in, you’re not going to complain about some tiny-ass little made-up buzz in your ear for the next week?”
“What? No– c’mon T, you know me– I’m not a complainer.”
V laughed, the happy sound making Goro’s heart hurt. “Says the professional fucking belly-acher. Two weeks, Jack– two weeks I’ve been listening to you complain about those docker dumplings. Not a complainer, he says.”
“Ohhh, so that’s how you want to play it, eh?” Jackie shook a finger at V. She batted his hand away, scoffing, but he was unperturbed. “El príncipe de las pupusas?”
“Eso es el mejor que puedes hacer: el príncipe de las pupusas? Si recuerdo corr–“
“Children,” T-bug interrupted, in a tone that suggested she had suffered through this kind of conversation too many times. “Can we keep this professional, please?”
“Sorry T–“ Jackie flashed a smile, even as he whacked V in the arm and successfully parried her attempt to reciprocate. “Everything sounds great. You’re a rose among thorns.”
tagging @ghostoffuturespast, @corpocyborg, @baublekute (no pressure)
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d8tl55c · 1 month
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#--/ art#--/ story#ava the dark lord#⬇⬇⬇ context in the tags ⬇⬇⬇#alan becker#animator vs animation#animation vs minecraft#ava the chosen one#it is done !! ok ill give y'all the intro context synopsis now#the story goes that way way way way before Showdown cho and dark used to sneak into abandoned-looking buildings in the city at night#and one such target they stumble upon happens to be a storage room containing artifacts from Minecraft#the most interesting being the beds.#on this particular outing cho and dark were returning from other shenanigans and could use a place to rest. perfect!#dark belly-flops onto the right bed (scooting them out of alignment) and strikes a pose.#while chosen is shoving them back together again... oh. he's already asleep? ...???#!!! the beds draw you in if you get too close!#so what was supposed to be half an hour at most rest turned into the whole night. they skedaddled and forgot about the freaky beds.#until. a certain someone goes and dies :333#you get it now ! ! !#it was dark diesn't ALL ALONG-#yeah and then for extra spice i threw in that the hooded stick King meets with during his episode to buy a command block...#...happens to own that storage room.#thus and so begins more brand new shenanigans with dark interacting with this shady rando. i call em seafoam#i highly extremely doubt there's a tag for seafoam . . . wiki calls them only 'hooded stick figure'#anyhow. behind the scenes this was also a practice of drawing things in 3D... keeping on model... and composition for storytelling#and i learned some things about how Whiteboard works too :o i. didn't know about the fill tool. it is cool#yayaya!! so that's been in my head for a while.#thx for reading <3 <3 ill be posting some close-up shots of this and other things i put on the whiteboard later#Minecraft bed
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hamofjustice · 1 year
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nemona feels like an obscure blorbo instead of the main rival character from the latest pokemon game because to get to her really good content from people who really get it, you first have to wade through the ocean of yandere pervert obsessive stalker annoying punchable bimbo amazon goddess interpretations of...
... a neurodivergent and possibly disabled high schooler who's desperately trying to make any friends or get any support from her rich neglectful family - while everyone in her school is jealous of their own imagined version of a privileged asshole version of her they made up - who deeply and platonically loves and supports the one new kid who agreed to take the time to get to know and respect her and her special interest without having to hold back her true self
unlike her, it's not great!
kinda feels like she has the same problem in our world that she does in hers.
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deadqueernoldor · 4 months
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Thinking thoughts about those from Cuivienen and how they later treated the Valar, especially after Cuivienen was destroyed.
I imagine a foundation of sorrow and a layer of betrayal and pettiness. They had promised safety. And how did it turn out? Kin of Tata and Tatie their first leaders, slain in Valinor by the Dark Hunter from which the Valar promised protection in Valinor.
And then, the War of Wrath comes and with it the destruction of Cuivienen.
If any of those were re-embodied in Aman, I wonder if they make it a point to always turn their back to Valar and Maiar. I wonder if they only speak in the tongue they had first devised all those millennia ago and spoke in Cuivienen before time and different kindreds changed the tongue, not Sindarin or Quenya from the Great Journey's time or later. I wonder if they sing songs in their ancient tongue, songs about the beauty and unsullied health of Cuivienen every time any of the Ainur are near.
I wonder if the Valar feel any shame when those who they once looked upon in wonder and love gaze back at them with indifference or disgust.
#i am so normal about the elves of cuivienen feeling the betrayal worse than anyone in aman including feanor and co#they PROMISED safety from Morgoth and orcs. they PROMISED beautiful lands without sorrow. they PROMISED all that and down the line#decided Mogoth had played pretend well enough to warrant him probation during which he immediately killed again#returns to the east and sullies what beauty had been left. and then even from afar he manages to hurt those from cuivienen with the WoW#dont get me wrong i think the cuivienen elves knew there had to be war against Morgoth for him to be defeated. but the fact that the valar#decided not to only abandon those of beleriand for over 5 centuries before that AND once the war is won also abandon#those of cuivienen to watch their beloved lands drown without as much a warning must sting.#i want there to be a concious decision of 'you abandoned your promise to us twice why should we ever trust you again even in your own lands'#a 'you promised our people who folowed you safety. you didnt deliver. you promised us freedom from morgoth. you didnt deliver. in fact your#inadequacy and decision to let him loose made everything worse for us in the east. why should we ever listen to anything you say'#and thus a concious effort to shed association with Aman as the Valar govern it. they cant leave. the way is shut. but they can establish#a sticking to their own tongue and traditions without the interference of the Ainur. they've done enough. not enough and yet quite enough.#the avari are welcome should some be reborn.#i never know if i want those of cuivienen to be reborn in aman or fade into unexistence entirely both have merit and sexy hcs#but if any were reborn i think they would get along fairly alright with the exiles. kinslaying exiles? 50/50 depending on repentance#but anyone who does not believe the valar's words and respects their decision to not ever be associated with them is welcomed neutral-warmly#they teach them songs about cuivienen. the sweet waters. beautiful meadows. the birdsong that sounds extra cheerful. fish in abundance#and in turn they get taught songs about beleriand. bewitched forests. victorious battles. wild rivers. frothy shores.#it is seen as an honour to be taught a song about Cuivienen by the people who sat by its shores once. in their language/dialect/whatever#instead of in sindarin or quenya. some millenia into the 4th age tou have a surge of ppl speaking cuivienen dialect#it becomes a clear distinction of who still has fondness left for the valar and who would feel indifferent if they vanished suddenly.#this tag essay has gotten way too long again. sorry besties it will happen again.#tag essay longer than the fucking post???? help#tolkien headcanons
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spamsandsuch · 2 years
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although i really like the idea of spamton’s physical puppetfication happening gradually, i like to think that for my spam in particular his puppetfication actually happened suddenly and shockingly. Like it was something that wasn’t supposed to happened (as expected from both spamton and the caller)
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sisterdivinium · 2 years
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Think "necessity" of evil in the ultimate doing of good ("For God judged it better to bring good out of evil than not to permit any evil to exist"); sin/failure for the sake of elevation, personal and otherwise, and how each of the characters "falls" so that good may come of it somehow, be it in general knowledge, assistance in pursuing good or personal enlightenment.
I'm far too lacking in dogmatic understanding to pursue this specific angle of investigation the way I'd like to and it's driving me crazy.
#vincent the traitor who releases adriel and later repents yes - but this ultimately brings us to reya#who would've stayed in shadow otherwise and hidden the danger she represents. oh the blood that was shed#but the progression of history has required it always and a few cardinals slain in a hotel are a small price to pay#suzanne the prideful who must be bent into accepting and trusting the women around her eventually#who followed by shannon the wronged (innocent?) precipitates the rise of ava#ava whom suzanne also aids and could not have done so had she not fallen#beatrice the forsaken who carves a path towards herself by using her pain#and without whom the designated saviour would never be able to save anyone of course#mary the abandoned who pays for the sins of her mother and thus buys herself the family she needs#jillian the relentless whose curiosity is fed in morsels at the exchange of human life#but who does gain glimpses at Something and who does become more human herself through loss#lilith the heir whose arrogance costs her more than one family but who might well lead the way to new life#michael the lamb who dies so ava may find her own way towards achieving her goal#i know this isn't exactly dogmatic but still; i'm caught up with nathaniel hawthorne see#read the marble faun and you will understand where this is coming from#i remember being struck by how in starz' spartacus every single character action brought on new disaster#but here in warrior nun - as much as disaster is part of it - there seems to be a light at the end of each tunnel in a way#complications arise one after the other but there are gains along the way#i shall ponder a good while more#if for no other reason than babbling in the tags like this is unacceptable#i was raised a civilised woman and i will write cohesive ordered texts like one! (eventually!)#analysis and similar#exercises in observation
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handsome-flower · 2 years
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Guy who's only ever seen TOH watching Arcane : mhm, getting some Wittebane brothers vibe from Vi and Jinx
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elainemorisi · 1 month
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like, the only true whopper in lo these two seasons has been Armand's credit-claiming for the (onstage) lifesaving, right. which was allowed to persist for not even the duration of a full episode. I don't think I'm forgetting anything here, right?
anyway, would be nice if more theorizing noticed that lol
#like having side-eyed for the whole s1-s2 gap the goofy theories about the fight I am Skeptical kwim#like I just... I sorta think in almost all cases thus far on this show#the gap between seems and is is in fact not thaaaat wide a gap#I am not counting the San Francisco erasing in the whopper bucket; that was obviously drastic but didn't rewrite anything we thought we kne#(mostly it underlined what we did know. like. sort of entirely right. Louis is miserable Daniel is vulnerable)#arguably it also foreshadowed the trial lie (Louis ultimately saved Daniel from Armand not vice versa#...but also there were two lifesaving acts and Armand did in fact perform one of them)#but if anything that foreshadowing function makes it even less proof-of-pattern that there are any other giant lies hiding#because it's so closely tied to that one#like it most narratively/technically resembles the end of s1 and Lestat's non-death: 'what happened there... oh shit THAT'S what happened'#anyway this is apropos of two things#(positive) trying to figure where on the IWTV to TVL spectrum 'why did Lestat even come to Paris' is going to end up falling#given he's presumably not like. in ill health whatsoever by then / presumably needs nothing from them?#(like yes the entire NOLA scene would be fairly dumb if we weren't pretty far to the 'mostly IWTV' side of the spectrum but still)#(NOT) encountering the claim that Armand is lying in the Lourve wtabsolutef talk about a good match for the post-s1e5 bullshit#do these people hear themselves. ANYWAY.#this is also why although I do find alternative explanations hard to imagine I remain believe it when I see it about past-DM-y shenanigans#not even TVL itself abuses Armand's mindfuckery with such abandon y'know? it's not a get out of plot free card#hopefully this has been twenty tags so#iwtv#for any patient blacklists
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vivalabunbun · 9 months
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An Encore of Betrayal
Summary: The devil with no sin nor memory and he who has held them all for centuries.
Word Count: 21.8k (get cozy)
Tags: Neuvillette x Fem!Reader, Slow burn, Slow fic, SMUT, NSFW, Historical AU, Fantasy AU?, Reincarnation AU, cursed!neuvillette, dragon!neuvillette, reincarnated!Reader, human!reader, Fluff, a lot of fluff, Melusines doing their best to play cupid, ex-lovers to lovers, slight enemies to lovers? ANGST, he's trying his best, dragon x human dynamics, Monsterfucking (two... I have no defense), cunnilingus(long tongue), marking, size kink? breeding kink, heat, overstimulation, hate sex? kinda?, slightly unhealthy dynamics (past life), dubcon, trust issues, immortal x mortal, slightly possessive!neuvillette, slightly yandere!neuvillette, TW: mild mention of blood, TW: descriptions of drowning, sin, and sacrifice. TW: Trauma from betrayal, themes of resentment, Infertility.
Author's Note: Wanted to try out a historical fantasy from Neuvillette's pov. I struggle with fantastical settings, so overlook any world-building confusion. Mihoyo won't give me his real name, and it's eating away at my sanity. Enjoy!
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Somewhere deep beneath the waves, away from the omnipotent watch of false divinity, lies a village. A bustling home carved into an outcast cove nestled under the cover of suppressive tides.
One littered with tiny houses surrounding an impressive estate modeled much like the ones seen in those novels abandoned from capsized ships. 
Would you believe that such a place exists? 
Decorated with curious trinkets which sunk beneath the surface which had forsaken them, kept in this cove for so long that it was challenging to remember the azure hues. 
Ornaments decorating the expanse of this once lonesome cave, almost enough to conceal its true origin: A prison.
A fool sentenced to this penitentiary masquerading as a home, now affectionately named ‘Merusea Village’. 
Within that attentively built estate, a looming figure stood in front of a wall lined with neatly organized novels, lilac eyes running along the titles printed along each spine. 
A collection saved from watery abandonment after falling overboard by the curious hands of Melusines. Amassed throughout the years until the shelves of this humble library were without vacancy. 
Stopping a finger on a spine, he decided on the novel to pass the ever-plenty time bestowed upon him. He’s aware that each book amongst these shelves has been thumbed through by him.
But with enough years, the recollection of the contents contained within each one tends to become foggy. 
It's fate that the novel selected in his hands just so happens to be a collection of tales.
Humans have many strange behaviors, one might even call them traditions. One particular tradition mortals seem to indulge in often is that of storytelling. 
Lilac eyes browse through the pages, refreshing himself on the tale held within its faded covers. 
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There once was a lovely kingdom amidst lush pastures and fertile lands where the townspeople sang and danced under the bright sunlight.
But one day the sun disappeared, concealed behind ashen clouds that cried a lonesome hymn, plaguing the unfortunate kingdom with rain.
The origin of the rain stemmed from the lonesomeness of a great dragon of water.
Thus, to stop the rain, the king sent out a princess to the dragon, declaring that the kingdom gates wouldn’t welcome her back if rain fell from the sky. She was sent off in a white gown. 
Down below a flooded loch, the princess was offered to the weeping dragon. Looking up the princess saw the sorrowful pools in the beast’s eyes. 
‘Hydro Dragon, oh Hydro Dragon, why do you cry?’ She asked.
Intrigued by the bravery of the young princess, the dragon answered: ‘Because I am lonely, I have no brethren left.’
Feeling pity the princess responded: ‘Hydro Dragon, oh Hydro Dragon, don’t cry. I will be lonely with you.’ 
So the princess befriended a lonesome dragon under the hymn of softening rain, with his loneliness soothed, the sun peeked back out from ashen clouds. But one day, pitiful tears fell from her eyes and the princess wept so bitterly. 
The dragon could not bear seeing those tears stain her cheeks. He offered her pearls, jewels, and gold. Yet those bitter tears still fell, tainting the pristine water. 
‘Beloved princess, why do you cry so bitterly?’ He implored. 
‘I long to go home, I miss my kingdom,’ she revealed. 
But she could not go home, for if she stepped foot away from the riverside the lonesome rain would start again. The colossal dragon could not leave the loch, but he could not bear seeing those bitter tears.
So he relented, telling the princess a secret. A secret all dragons buried deep within: His true name. 
‘If you speak my name, my true name, then I can grant you one wish. But be careful, for there can only be one wish.’ The dragon whispered. 
‘Do you wish to return to your kingdom, beloved princess?’ He asked. 
The princess was silent for a long while, weighing the choices in her hand. She longed to return home, but she also longed to be by the side of her kind dragon. 
Confident in her decision, she beckons the great dragon closer, until her lips could reach the side of his large head where his ear lay. After whispering his name, she tells the beast her wish. 
‘I wish for you to become my prince, so we can return to the kingdom together, that way you won’t ever be lonely again.’
A clever wish he grants with a nod. Scales and claws shedding away until a handsome prince stood in front of her. Thus, hand in hand they returned from the loch to the warm welcome of the kingdom. 
And they lived happily ever after. 
----------
Ah, so it was that tale. 
Judging from the age of the novel, he guesses it must be a rendition of a rendition.
Words and events twisted, embellished, and simplified. Until it became nothing more than a mere fable told to entertain the wandering minds of children. 
A beloved tale of a maiden who got a dragon to give up his grand authority, stopping the flood of vengeance from drowning Fontaine.
This is what the origin of his damnation has turned into. The tales of the heroine’s feats sung and written throughout the narrative of time, passing from one generation’s lips to another’s ears. 
However, he supposes this is expected of humans. It’s their tradition of storytelling, after all, mending a fallacy into a tale palatable to their conscious.
Or perhaps, these embellishments were added to compensate for the hollows caused by the frailty of mortal memory. 
Patching over the holes with flowery words to distract readers from inaccuracies that were only compounded upon from the last. 
Fontainians who came to believe in it, must not have known the dragon all that well, considering that they thought the proud dragon would bow to the whims of a meek human.
Placing a secret so simply in her hands at the mere sight of tears.
Did Fontainians not realize that the land they reside on once belonged solely to dragons? How preposterous it is that a sovereign couldn’t set foot upon his own land. Or did they forget why he couldn’t? 
What a naive ending, did mortals truly believe that blood and water could dwell together without consequences? That simply wishing the dragon to become a human could resolve all troubles?
To overwrite everything with a ‘happily ever after’ which never happened?
Regardless of his reservations toward such fables, the Melusines always seem eager to gather around for such stories. The towering figure lacked the conviction to deny such requests. 
From down the hall approaching closer came the pitter-patter of steps, he turned his tall frame toward the direction of the sound just as a few familiar faces revealed themselves from the library entrance. 
“Monsieur Neuvillette! Come quickly! A human! A human appeared!” A group of Melusines tugs on the fabric of his slacks while pointing toward the phenomenon. 
A mortal in this domain? A cavern hidden deep under the land and waters where the warmth of the sun couldn’t grace. How did such a being find their way into this sanctum?  It’d be best that he alleviates their worries. 
“Please lead the way.” Neuvillette closes the novel, returning it to the confines of its shelf. 
His swift movements in time with the melusines’ frantic patter as they made their way out from his estate.
Soon the tops of the Melusines’ cozy homes of Merusea Village came into view, as did the murmuring of a distraught crowd. 
“Excuse me.” His steps made their presence known, their heads perked up to look at him before parting a path for Neuvillette. 
Upon the maroon pasture of Merusea Village was a blanket of silk and woven lace, snowy fabric surrounding the still figure of a human.
Treading closer Neuvillette kneels down while reaching out a hand, weaving his fingers under the fabric which obscures the mortal’s face. 
“We found her while gathering offerings from the waters … Is she…” The anxious murmuring quiets to await his verdict. 
“She has a pulse,” he reveals, fingertips detecting wisps of warmth along cold skin. 
It was faint, but his attentive eyes caught onto the slow movement of her chest. The snowy fabric had greedily drunk up the essence of the sea. Cursing her to sink deeper below the tides. 
To leave a mortal in such a state would be too cruel of a fate. 
Neuvillette moves his hand to support her covered head as his other arm gathers the damp fabric under her legs.
Carefully, he stands back to his full height, cradling her limp body in his hold. An audience of fretful gazes follow his motions.
“Do not fret, she only requires some rest and a change of clothing, I’ll take her to my abode. Could you gather some cloth to dry down her body?” Neuvillette’s melodic voice just barely above a whisper, so as not to stir the figure in his arms.
His expression softens to offer the compassionate creatures some reassurance. With firm nods the Melusines scatter, determination alight in their bright irises as they sought the necessary items to care for their newfound guest. 
The dampness of the heavy fabric seeps into his own attire as Neuvillette turns the knob to grant him entry into his abode. 
Quietly ambling through the spacious halls, the master bedroom came into view. Neuvillette lays the limp form upon his sheets, ensuring that her head rests slowly upon the soft pillows. 
Just as her figure sinks into the mattress, a chorus of metallic clinks catches his attention. Glancing down her body his lilac eyes discover the origin.
A pair of silver shackles encased around her ankles, the unforgiving metal digging into defenseless flesh. 
Gingerly, he takes one ankle into his grasp to better observe the shackles.
This time he couldn’t fight against the deep frown as it debuted upon his lips. His eyes hone on how tightly those heavy chains were bound along the flesh. 
Soon the unforgiving metal crashes down to the floor, he soothes the freed skin with his thumb while checking for any other possible wounds. 
Lilac eyes travel up to her face for any sign of discomfort, only to be reminded that her face was concealed behind a shroud of lace. 
How uncomfortable it must be to have a cold piece of fabric to cover one’s face. Neuvillette places her ankle back onto the bed.
His large hands took hold of the damp veil to lift it from her resting frame, revealing to his draconic eyes for the first time their face. 
The veil stays suspended in the air as his hands cease all motion. Hardened gaze tracing over her features, the curve of her cheeks, the slope of her nose, and the structure of her face.
Repeated details he had long seared into his consciousness. 
Within those mortal tales, there’s a wide variety of beasts and fearsome creatures. Dragons were depicted as such omnipotent beasts. But there’s a monster all other beast falls secondary to, the devil. 
They didn’t possess the sharpest talons nor the largest fangs. No, what made them so horrifying is that they dawned the most enchanting faces. 
He’s staring at it right now. The face of the devil who deceived him. 
Those gods must be laughing at him right now. Those false idols, with their capricious fate and whims, who once must’ve shook hands with you to carry out their schemes all those years ago. 
The scheme which imprisons him here in this humiliating form of the mortal creatures those false idols loved so much. 
Yes, a devil, that must be what you are. For how did a meek mortal trick a dragon who once held the full authority of the tides?
His chest expands with a deep breath before a long exhale leaves him. Ah, yes that must be why this white gown has appeared before him again. He removes the senseless scrap of lace, checking once more for signs of discomfort before he turns his body away. 
Finding himself outside the threshold of his bedroom as he closes the door behind him. He should wait here for the Melusines to arrive with a change of clothes and towels. 
It’d buy him enough time to steadily return the tempestuous loch to a subdued ripple in a pond. His chest expands once more with a deep inhale. 
A second cruel rendition unfolding once more in the narrative of time.  
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The crisp turn of a page resounds through the room. Lilac eyes glanced up from the text every so often to watch the steady rises and falls of your chest from his vantage point of a wooden chair pulled up to the bedside. 
Heavy lashes still shut just as they were the day your drenched figure was pulled from the tides by merciful hands. 
The journey to wisdom is lined with mistakes, mistakes providing teachings one must ingrain into their very being if they don’t wish to repeat such blunders again.
Just as how a burn seared into skin is a forever reminder that fire indeed burns indiscriminately. 
A scar ingrained deep within him cries out for Neuvillette to withdraw from the fire which scorned him so long ago. 
Alas, it’s duty which has sat him down beside your sleeping form. You’re the first guest this cove has seen in a long time, thus bringing you under the responsibility of the host, Neuvillette himself. 
A stir brings his stoic gaze back away from his thoughts. Your chest rises with a long inhale as leaden lashes flutter open.
The cadence of your breaths begins to rise as more of your senses return to you. Fatigue evident in each slow drag of breath. 
“Ah, I see you’ve awoken.” Neuvillette observes. 
Your muscles momentarily forget their fatigue as your head snaps toward the owner of the deep voice. Eyes now wide and alert. 
“My apologies, it wasn’t my intention to startle you.” He casts a glance toward the steaming bowl on the nightstand. 
He could feel the weight of your stare travels up his figure. Do you perhaps remember him? Can you recall his lush snowy locks streaked with azure? Irises that held an all too familiar hue, a multitude of lilac shades much like a field of lavenders.
Does this ‘you’ remember the dragon you fooled? 
“W-who are you?...” Your gaze was too cowardly to meet his.
Ah, have the cycle of death and rebirth washed those sins and memories?
The tonality of your trembling voice filled with puzzlement instead of recognition. He should’ve expected this much.
This you is nothing more than a stranger who shares the face of a devil. 
“Where am I?” Another question leaves those lips in the absence of a response. 
Just give him a moment, allow him to pacify the surging torrent within so their bitterness doesn’t seep into his words. 
“You’re in our village!” A cheery voice joins the conversation. 
Two pairs of eyes land upon a short figure with a pair of pastel horns. You blink once, then twice, then slowly thrice. Inquisitive eyes stared right back at you. 
“W-what… are you?” Instinct commanding your body to retract deeper into the sheets. 
A sharp cough halts your actions, drawing your attention back to the man as he lowers his hand down from his lips. 
“She’s a Melusine, they prefer to be addressed using she/her pronouns,” he elucidates, an ever so subtle chastise in his tone. 
“Oh…” You advert your gaze again, shame creeping onto your cheeks from your unintentional discourtesy. 
A few breaths of silence follow, he observes you studying everything but the two figures just beside the bed.
Your fingers soothing over the soft cotton nightgown against your skin, a change from that restrictive and ornate dress. 
“We, Melusines, helped you change out of that wet dress. Big sister Sedene said you’d get sick if we left you in that.” 
It looks like your diverted gaze wasn’t as subtle as you originally thought. Sheepishly you extend your gratitude. 
“Thank you…” Your words draw out, a brow quirked as your stare remained on her short form. 
“Kiara!” She points to herself with a mitten hand. 
“Thank you, Kiara.” You finish. 
Her mittened hand then gestures to the towering man beside her. 
“This is Monsieur Neuvillette! He’s the one who carried you here,” she announces. 
“T-thank you, Monsieur Neuvillette.” You could only gather the courage to glance at the wall behind him. 
“Just Neuvillette is fine,” his tone melodic and calm. “Are you able to sit up?”
Nodding your head, you attempt to fight through the fatigue of your muscles. Neuvillette and Kirara offer their assistance, his firm hands guiding your body up as Kirara adjusts the pillows to support your back. 
Once you were situated, he reached for the bowl placed down earlier. A light clink sounds out from a spoon clattering about the porcelain dish. You glance at the contents, noting the clear amber broth. 
“This should be kind on your stomach while providing you with some much-needed hydration and nutrients.” He holds out the soup. 
A quivering hand attempts to reach up for the bowl, only for muscles to lose to fatigue as your arm limply falls back down to your side. Your strength has yet to return. 
Another clink from the spoon resounds in the room as it gets taken into the grasp of an attentive hand. He holds out a spoonful of the warm soup, but your lips remain shut as a skeptical gaze meets his. 
“Please forgive this inconvenience, but it’s best that you eat something to regain your strength.” The spoon remains unmoving in his hand. 
There’s a rumbling stir within him. A voice snarls into his ear, interrogating him as to why his hand is feeding the very devil who once bit it. 
“If you don’t eat you won’t get better.” Kiara’s eyes are riddled with concern as she observes your sealed lips. 
That was his rebuttal to that snarl.
The Melusines simply don’t wish to see a human in such a pitiful state. Blissful in their ignorance of events that conspired long before their birth. 
 Dignity overpowered by the guilt of seeing such pure eyes marred with worry. 
Soon your lips part, accepting the spoonful of broth delicately offered by him. After he observes you swallowing the first sip, Neuvillette holds out another spoonful. You part your lips again.
Neuvillette overrides the clamorous warnings of his instincts with the duty of being a ‘good host’, bringing another sip to your delicate lips.
 
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With a regular diet of warm broth with servings of Bulle Fruit on the side, you were soon able to pick up the spoon yourself. The fatigue that plagued your bones finally leaves, allowing you to support your body off the mattress which had your shape imprinted into it. 
The Melusines, seemingly born infatuated with humanity, would often gather about your bed.
They were curious about you just as you were about them. To them, you’re the creature from those fairytales he’s read them. 
In exchange for your recollections of warm Summer days and descriptions of lush lilac fields swaying in a gentle breeze, they reveal more about this village.
About how the estate you were currently residing in was refurbished by their own-mittened hands, taking inspiration from the various books depicting what human abodes looked like. 
The beds, drapes, and even rugs are all arranged by them to create a lovely abode. A drastic change to the worn and rampaged shell it once was before their meddling.
Perhaps if he never filled their naive minds with those tales, they wouldn’t be enamored with you and humanity. 
Or maybe it’s the vibrance of your smile that drew their naive souls closer. A warmth like a flickering candlelight beckoning a moth closer.
What are the odds that the hands of fate stayed so faithful to the details of a heroine from so long ago? 
From your image to your bewitching mannerisms, and alluring voice, they’re all identical replicas. You and the ‘devil’ from that tale. 
Wisdom from a lesson learned long ago, he must not repeat the same mistake. He must not be enchanted by the same flame which scorned him. He must ensure a breadth between you and him, just as those tiresome voices call for. 
However, Neuvillette understands he has a responsibility as a host. Thus, he regularly checked on your condition, then when you were well enough to stretch your legs he accompanied you on strolls. Maintaining a respectable distance away. 
He guided you through the marble halls of the estate, showing the library and bath which were yours to access whenever you wanted.
Rooms illuminated with the muted glow of luminescence gems and pearls. Water sourced from a hidden freshwater spring. 
Impassive eyes observe yours as you look in awe at the facilities and commendations hidden deep under the tides. Were they comparable to the ones you’ve encountered back on the surface? 
This estate, these wide stone halls, those pearls and jewels once scattered about, were all made just to please the bitter tears of a mortal. Perhaps his first attempt was too subpar to quell the longing to return to the sunlight. 
But gauging from the glimmer reflecting off your eyes, it seems the Melusines attempt was satisfactory at least. 
Today’s stroll took you outside of the estate, Neuvillette accompanying you about a routine walk, watching from behind as your eyes scan the dim realm.
The lanterns lining the path of Melusine's home grace the maroon pastures and rocky walls in place of the faint wisps of sunlight offered by the depths of the sea. 
Very much expected for a village beneath the waves and earth. Were you reminiscing about the warm grace of the sun you felt up there?
It’s not fair to compare the vast sky of the surface to their cavern hidden away from the eyes of the mortals, perhaps even the divine themselves. 
“Monsieur Neuvillette?” You began today’s attempt at a conversation. 
“Yes?” He hums in acknowledgment. 
He keeps sentences brief, but informative. Counters to your attempts at conversation. 
“I’m aware this might sound strange, but is there a dragon down here?” Turning back to face him.
His strides stop as a lull of silence falls over the both of you. The weight of his unshaken gaze upon your shoulders caused them to tense up.
Your hands find each other for comfort under his oppressive stare as he awaits the reason behind this odd inquiry. 
“W-well you see, Fontaine has been having awful weather for years now. Saltwater ruining crops and persistent heavy rain, it’s because the Hydro Dragon is crying from his loneliness. I was selected and offered as his bride, to stop the rain, that’s what The Oratrice instructed,” you babble out. 
“So…do you know where he is?” Sheepishly you glance up. 
The lilac hues of his eyes connect with yours as his lips remain unmoving. Staring into your eyes as he contemplates what you have just revealed to him. Your hands fumble together as you await his response.
“So humans are still telling that local legend…” He sighs. 
He has to rein it back. The torrent which threatens to brew within him. Deep breaths to remind himself about the nature of mortals. 
Humans are fickle and meek creatures who constantly yearn for something divine to worship, a figurehead to guide them in the turbulence of life.
When faced with hardship and destitution, they believe such concepts to be punishment from above. 
Thus, they invent traditions to appease those false idols. Going to great lengths in attempts to pacify those unseen forces, even if it meant sacrificing one of their own. 
Perhaps this was the trait of mortals that made them so favored by the usurpers, their naive devotion feeding into the greed of selfish gods.
Maybe that’s why those false idols uprooted the land that belonged to dragons. 
“I wonder just how far that fable has spread by now,” he sighs again.
His lashes flutter shut in exasperation as a huff leaves him. It was a moment before they flutter back open to hone in on you. There’s no use in keeping his identity from you any longer. 
“Do I seem lonely in your eyes?” Baritone voice steady and low. 
No sounds fall from your agape lips as your eyes reexamine his features, this time shamelessly ogling the peculiar details you’ve brushed off previously.
Do you notice it now? How his ears were a bit too pointed, or those two particular cerulean strands of ‘hair’ poking out from his snowy locks. 
As you study the specifics of his eyes, do you now comprehend the sharp dark pupils that cut through the multitude of lilac shades? Much like a shadow cutting through a field of lavenders. 
“You’re the Hydro Dragon,” you deduce. 
He nods in confirmation. Only causing your eyes to scan over him again as your mind reels back from this revelation. 
In those stories you’ve read back on the surface, how did they depict him? As a towering scaled beast with fangs and claws? Are you wondering why he’s not matching that description? 
“I’m aware that my current shape might not convey such a presence, ” he answers your unspoken question. 
He fights for his lips to remain stoic, not allowing the weight of a frown to pull them down. You don’t know, you don’t need to know, he reminds himself. 
A detail excluded from the pages of that tale, the ‘princess’ would only ever look at him, would only ever smile at him when a dragon took on this shape. A form which mirrors humans. 
In fact, she was so fond of this human shell of his that she cursed him to dwell within it for the rest of eternity. 
Neuvillette takes another deep breath, quelling the stir once more. You look like you had more questions. 
“So… does that mean the need for a bride is fictitious?” You clutch your hands tighter. 
Some years ago, the Melusines were born from spilled blood. A new generation of successors of the brethren he once forsaken. Making this prison much less lonesome, voiding the accuracy of the sentence in that tale. 
If that was the case, then why did the waters still rage? Why did the pittering of rain drown out all bird songs and tumults of perplexed citizens? Is there a way he could simplify the details missed by storytellers for generations? 
After that ‘happily ever after’, a dragon cursed his devil just as she cursed him. 
No, such expositions would be an unfair burden upon your shoulders. 
“It’s not fictitious.” Turning to gaze out at the depths of the underground realm, he takes a breath before continuing. 
“The land which your nation, Fontaine, resides on is stolen land,” he reveals. “More accurately all of what you know as ‘Teyvat’ was stolen from the dragons, my fellow brethren.” 
The furrow in your brows deepens as you listen on. 
“My brethren were banished to the depths for the sake of humanity. A dragon’s rage isn’t something that can be easily quelled.” He glances back at you. 
“A union between a dragon and a human, a show of peace between the two species. Even if the origins of this ritual have been embellished heavily, it serves the same purpose to pacify the ancient dragon’s rage,” he concludes. 
Neuvillette wonders if this tale was enough to satisfy your inquiry, if his attempt at the human practice was enough to simplify the events muddled and twisted by time.
Impassive eyes scan over your expression, not missing the glimmer ever so bright within. 
“So… has the rain stopped?” Your hands almost clasped together in prayer. 
He nods, the shine growing ever so luminous in those blameless irises, one he couldn’t resist the enchantment of. That all too familiar look in your eyes. 
“That’s good.” A slow smile made its appearance upon plush lips.
Ah. He remembers what that look was called, voices of recollection pulling him away from the edge. Just before he fell into bewitchment once more.
That look wasn’t relief, nor was it salvation. It's duty. He takes a slow and deep inhale. 
Just as it was all those years ago, the narrative of this tale did not stray away from the plot. He must be more careful. 
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There’s been a still lull engulfing the atmosphere down in a hidden cavern. So still in fact that walks amongst maroon patches of grass have stopped. Your body was well enough to explore the corners of the state without assistance. 
No reason for him to remain by your side throughout the day, and no reason for you to shadow him. 
Neuvillette and you keeping mostly to one’s self. It was just the natural progression of things. After all, the ritual had been completed and the tides had receded. You’ve served your duty once more. 
A foreign aroma was wafting through the estate, strange enough for Neuvillette to leave the library to investigate the origins of this aroma.
Steps slowing as the clacker of pots and pans becomes more distinct. The entrance of the estate kitchen comes into view, and he peers in to see a few familiar faces. 
“Oh? Monsieur!” Rhemia notices his presence. 
An assortment of vegetables, spices, and even some meats from fresh catches were spread about the table as a pan sizzling over a crackling fire.
Ingredients gathered from offering dropped down below the tides. The recent influx could be attributed to how the hymn of the rain has ceased. 
“Hello, Monsieur Neuvillette.” Your smile greets him. 
Ah, he’s found the explanation behind the foreign aroma and why the variety spread of ingredients was being utilized in a kitchen that was once mainly created just to match those diagrams drawn in novels. 
“I hope you don’t mind my use of the kitchen, I wanted something other than…Consomme Purete.” Wiping your hands with a rag. 
Yes, Consomme Purete.
It was the dish served when you had first woken up, a light but nutritious soup that was kind on your stomach. It had the right amount of hydration balanced with nutrients to sustain oneself, a perfect dish.
The only dish cooked in this kitchen, that was until today. 
Removing a pan from the heat, you carefully transfer the contents onto a plate then place the pan back on the wood stove.
The rich aroma caused an audience of bright-eyed stares from the Melusines to center upon the steaming plate. Their tails make their excitement clear as they gaze upon a dish they’ve never seen before. 
Was this a new passion of this life?... Or was it just one he never got the chance to witness?
Was this the devil before the role of a bride was forced upon her? A devil he’s never known, for all he saw was her performance to stop the deafening rain all those years ago.
His attention was brought back as the chime of cutlery against porcelain was heard, cooked veggies stabbed between the teeth of a fork.
Cupping a hand under the fork, your body leans down to the Melusine’s height, feeding them a bite of the fragrant dish. The wags of their tails increase in cadence as they chew. 
“This is Tasses Ragout, tasty isn’t it?” The corners of your lips curl as you watch their little heads nod eagerly. 
The suspicion melts from his gaze as he observes to the delight in their expressions, a few mitten hands tugging at the skirt of your gown for a bite. A giggle bubbles from your throat.
A scene mirroring that of a mother trying to appease the appetites of her ravenous young. 
Soon your eyes connect and he straightens his posture. Brushing away the nonsensical musing, lilac hue advert away momentarily to recompose themselves before returning. 
“Would you like a taste?” A fork offered in his direction, beckoning closer to take a bite. 
There’s a myth he’s read about, of a forbidden apple held out by the tempter of all tempters, an apple so red and lustrous it made any mouth salivate. 
“Thank you for the offer, however, I’ve already had my lunch.” He refrains. 
A bite from that forbidden fruit was the genesis of disgrace and banishment. A betrayal of commandments once promised. Neuvillette won’t be deceived again. 
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“Monsieur! Monsieur! Come look!” 
Mittened hands grasping upon his coat and gloved hands as a circle of Melusines guides him through the winding halls, anticipation amping their voices. 
There’s a chorus of giggles resounding through the halls, a joyous clamor of pattering steps against the marble floors.
The estate has been lively ever since your arrival in that white dress, a liveness which reaches his pointed ears even from behind closed doors. 
Regardless, he allows himself to be towed by their skipping steps. Leading him to a room he recognizes as a space where many fabrics and gowns were collected and stored.
Garments made with the intent to be sold to Fontainians, but their crates were capsized over by the ravenous tides. Saved from watery abandonment by curious hands. 
While this form of his could wear a few of those garments, the Melusines had statures much too short for pools of fabric to not drag along the ground. Thus, that collection of fabrics found themselves collecting dust. 
Their steps abruptly stop just at the threshold of the door, mittened hands pressed up against their lips signaling for him to remain silent.
Soon their sights glance into the room as he follows, lilac eyes opening ever so slightly wider as they process the scene in front of him. 
Evening gowns crafted by skilled tailors to be sold to Fontanian ladies, you had the right frame for those garments as well.
A trail of lustrous sapphire silk gathered behind your figure. The artistic stitching and pleating draping the silk around each curve of your body as if you were the only person meant to wear it. 
A few Melusines fussing about the silk train, ever so curious of humanity, they must’ve requested for you to dawn the gown.
Just as they often had requested for him to dawn those fickle suits and coats for their enjoyment.
It seems you bent to their childish whims just as he does. 
“How do you like it?” You ask your audience, twirling about in front of a mirror. 
It’s different from those hardier dresses for when you wandered about the village and estate, in comparison this dress was much less practical. 
“It’s beautiful, Madame!” Their round eyes were enamored.
“I’m glad, who knew you had such an aesthetic eye.” Your expression softens. 
Bending down to Carole’s height, you scooped her up. Cradling her as your forehead touches her horns gently.
“Thank you for such a lovely dress.” Placing tender pats along her head, careful to not disturb her horns and hair. 
Carole leans into your touch as your smile widens. Twirling once more with her in your arms, giggles ringing throughout the room.
Until your head peeked up, finally aware of the silent spectator just behind the door frame. 
“Oh, hello Neuvillette,” you greet him with a smile he doesn’t return.
A tense lull creeps in, and a chill begins to mix with the quiet atmosphere. Lilac eyes pass over your form as Carole remains sat in your arms.
“Monsieur! Isn’t Madame pretty? Look!” Cheery and oblivious voices chime returning the warmth to the air. 
Mitten hands release your skirt as they skitter toward his towering figure. Pride shines in their beaming smiles, awaiting validation of their handy work.
Steadfast eyes lowering themselves to the level of their short statures until the sharp edges gradually dissipate. 
“A fine effort indeed.” A gloved hand extends to rest atop their heads. 
Patting their heads tenderly as they closed their eyes in contentment 
A warmth in those lilac hues, endearment no word could ever encapsulate fully. 
“Are they your daughters?” Your head slants to the side.
His body stills, strictness reinstated in those violet irises just as they met yours. Studying that look within your polite smile, one which didn’t seem to reach your eyes. 
Gloved hand ceasing all movement, his concentration now elsewhere. That expression ghosting your face, what does it mean? 
“My apologies, was it too impudent of a question?” Your gaze adverts away, searching for reprieve in this heavy hush.
A deep breath as he formulates his response. 
“I don’t share blood with them if that’s what you’re inquiring. However, they are the successors of my brethren.” 
“Oh, I see,” you hum. 
 Neuvillette returns to patting their heads, while you readjust your hold on Carole. Subtly bouncing her, while turning back to face the standing mirror.
Casting a glance, he could discern the softness returning to that polite smile. Yet, the dragon has yet to unravel that luster in your irises. 
An audience of bright eyes switches between the Monsieur and Madame. 
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“Bring these to her, you should greet the Madame!” Tiny hands push against Neuvillette’s back. 
The traitorous clicks of his shoes against marble expose his approach.
Your head peers up from the book resting upon your lap, in the midst of reading a tale aloud to an audience. 
Just in time to catch the tall figure of Neuvillette emerging into the library at the behest of the Melusines. 
Lilac eyes meet yours ever so briefly before his gaze averts elsewhere. Gloved hand adjusting a bundle hidden a broad back, brings the other hand up to clear his throat. 
“The Melusines found these when retrieving some offerings from the water, I believe you’ll enjoy them.” He presents their trinket. 
A simple collection of dainty petals clustered together, pastel hues contrast against vivid virescent leaves. A quaint ribbon tied around the stems holding the bunch together held out in front of your face.
The recipient stares in round-eyed astonishment at the fragrant blooms before a smile melts into your lips. 
“Thank you.” You accept the bouquet from his hand. 
Admiring the rustic arrangement and the saccharine aroma as the Melusines sat around you leaned in closer to catch a whiff too. 
“These are called Pluie Lotus up on the surface, they smell nice right?” Giggling lightly as you held the bouquet closer to their noses. 
Grin ever present upon your lips as your soft eyes watch their marvel of such simple weeds. A bloom foreign to this realm abandoned by the sunlight. 
There’s subtle slack in his posture, a budding smile just about to unfold just as your head peers back up. Every fiber in Neuvillette’s being tenses, goosebumps slithering up his nape. 
Frozen there only able to witness your eyes study back and forth the hues of his irises and the periwinkle color tinting the fragile petals.
He watches an epiphany light up in your widened eyes as the bouquet was lifted higher, turning back to face him. 
Don’t. Don’t say the words he knows are hanging off the tip of that honeyed tongue. 
“They are the same lovely color as your eyes, Neuvillette.” You beam at him, the corners of your eyes crinkling from the stretch of your lips. 
His posture returns to its rigid and upright state, a hand hidden from view balls up into a fist.
A sharpness threatening to break through leather confines and into his palm, as if they were attempting to grapple the surging torrent stirred up within himself. 
Why? Why was this line from a script being recited word for every damn word? All said with that saccharine smile plastered over those wicked lips? 
Indecipherable eyes narrow ever so slightly before he catches himself. Reining in the torrent just before it seethed out.
He clears his throat again to swallow back the bitterness. 
“Do excuse me, please return to your reading session,” he utters his parting. 
Promptly turning to return to his secludedness, stepping past the Melusines gathered by his side.
Swift strides through the empty halls leaving you to your peace and him to his peace, just as it should’ve been. Much to the pouts of a disappointed audience. 
However, he didn’t have the mind to contemplate their discontent. Not when these rabid bellows drown out every other thought in their rancor.
Like a sea starved for vengeance, ravenous to settle a debt against those vile gods and their beloved creations. 
A brass knob was abruptly twisted, hinges squealing in surprise as at the force as Neuvillette shuts it behind himself.
Ragged breathes resounding through the reprieve of his bedroom. Away from innocent bystanders and the devil who showed her face again after all these centuries for an encore.  
Has he not been humiliated enough? He tugs at his cravat, freeing himself from the fickle decoration constricted about his neck in this already imprisoning body.
A form which binded him no matter how violently talons and fangs clawed and chewed, unable to leave a singular dent upon this damn curse. 
This was humiliating enough, bound to this cove that separated him from the sea which cries for their sovereign.
He once believed this penitentiary was obscured away from the peeking eyes of capricious gods. Perhaps, he’s wrong. 
Why is this fantasy being played out right in front of his eyes now after all these years?
To have you by his side, to have you reside in the home he craved out and inlaid pearls into, to see you smile and cradle young against your bodice. It’s insulting. 
Because this was all he ever wanted. This was all he had ever wanted. 
The lonesome dragon only ever yearned for a maiden’s endearment. He once believed she adored him back just the same. 
Because while she lay within his arms under silken covers, her bare skin pressed against his mortal shape, her enchanting eyes always regarded him with such tenderness as her delicate hand stroked his cheek. 
A glimmer he once believed was love.  
The tale written along the parchment implied that the ‘princess’ loved the dragon. However, that was inaccurate. She never did. 
For if she loved him, then she wouldn’t have deceived him.
She wouldn’t have ever whispered his secret to the town’s folk. Those foul creatures who then used his secret, which was once reserved solely for ‘you’.
Why? That simple question taunted him for decades as he rotted in this mocking solitude.
Why did ‘you’ yearn for the sun more than him? Was his love not enough to replace the warmth of a star? Was the home he made not enough when compared to the extravagance of humanity? 
Or was it because blood and water, no matter how much they intertwine and mix, could never produce wine? 
If… if the Melusines had been born just a few centuries earlier, then would you have been satisfied by his side? An answer he could already discern.
 Because after his decades of solitude within these deridingly hushed walls, he finally accepted the truth. 
 She loved her people, they took up all the space of her heart, leaving no room for a prideful leviathan.
What a clever plan it all was, to distract a sovereign from his duty, cleansing stolen land with a flood of vengeance, by sending a maiden.
A woman so bewitching, so enchanting, and so lovely, that a proud dragon couldn’t resist bending to her whims. Spilling the secret hidden deep within him into her ear. 
Abandoning his true form to be confined in the shape she favored the most. Then lured up to the surface, suspicions obstructed by the dazzlement of a false welcome from the nation of Fontaine. 
Unaware until the scorching knife was already lodged in his back. Using the secret he had only ever told you, those meek creatures of the usurpers wished:
‘For the rest of one’s life, one shall never leave this cave deep beneath the tides’. 
What a clever ploy, a masterly crafted master plan. Did that Oratrice bestow it upon mortals? Or was it your own little scheme? A devil in human skin who must’ve been enlisted by the god themselves. 
 That day when he was chained by that loch, you didn’t even bother to grace him with your presence.
You cruel, cruel devil whose heart only had room for her fellow citizens of Fontaine, whose eyes only ever glimmered with duty. 
Neuvillette had finally comprehended the truth, he had made peace with the disgrace he brought upon himself. 
So why did those vile false gods dangle you back in his face? They had already taken fragments of his authority.
Was his torment entertaining to them? 
Lungs shaking with unsteady breaths, he could feel the pricks of scales dotted along his skin only for this body to swiftly reject it. A turmoil of draconic influence constrained by a mortal curse. 
Like a beast kept in a cage much too small for it. If Neuvillette wishes for this agitation to cease, he must cease the stirred emotions. 
 Emotions don’t settle quickly once agitated like sand attempting to settle at the bottom of violent tides. He paces his shuddery inhales, biding in the solitude of his room until the storm dissipates. 
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To avoid the placid lake within him from thrashing violently to the woes from the throb of a wound which has yet to scar over, Neuvillette found it best to avoid your presence. 
The lanterns outside the Melusine’s homes had long gone out as they followed their routine bedtime.
The expanse of the cavern dimmed to near blackness, the small creatures all tucked away soundly in their beds. A hushed ambiance provides a suitable environment for reflection. 
His steps flatten the grass underneath as they accompany his strides with their rustling.
The absence of light had never bothered him, it’s within his nature to detest it. Any beast would withdraw away from the mere image of fire. 
The rustle of the grass halts, a wispy aroma of smoke wafts towards him. It doesn’t take long to identify the origin. Only a small flicker broke through the shadows, candlewick fostering only a weak flame.
But it was enough to fend the shadows away from your frame. 
The flame’s light caught on each subtle ripple of the pond you were kneeling over.
The seemingly unremarkable pool served as the sole entrance and exit to Merusea Village. Where the Melusines traveled through to gather food, fresh water, and trinkets swallowed up by the waves. 
Cold waters catch the bitter droplets of your pained eyes in the reflection of the ripples upon the surface, the distorted silhouette of a weeping devil. 
An unspoken gospel revealed to draconic pupils. 
Under the rich aromas wafting from the kitchen, behind the diligently tailored gowns, and hidden in the cadence of your voice as you read tales aloud, laid the yearning for the rays of a bright star. 
You’re human, a creature fleeting and meek by nature. Blood yearns to be with blood just as every drop of rain yearns to return to a cloud. 
A sharp rustle of grass under a heavy step jolts your hunched-over posture straight, head whipping around to face the uninvited audience.
Once those weeping eyes recognize the brooding figure in front of them, your face adverts away from his direction. Shame evident upon your expression. 
A concerned hand reaches out only to retract away, contrition marring his shut lips as Neuvillette diverts his eyes too.
Fire burns indiscriminately, even the dancing flame of a candle can sear its mark upon skin. Neuvillette knows this all too well, for the lesion he received from embracing that flame once still festers even after all these years.  
However, lilac eyes pan back towards the orange glow illuminating your melancholic face. Warm hues contrast against the wet trails down your cheeks. There’s an ache more agonizing than a festering wound. 
His steps advanced closer until he was knelt down by your slump frame. A benevolent touch lands upon your shoulder. Guiding you away from the taunting waters and into his arms, hiding your face in his broad shoulder. 
 Offering you a semblance of warmth in a coven shunned from the grace of gentle sunlight.
With your face away from his gaze, the cacophony of your sobs returns, digging your fingers into the folds of his dress shirt.
Echoed back mockingly by the cold cavern walls.
Perhaps a foolish dragon has yet to learn his lesson, still lured in that the brilliant light of a flame. 
A gentle hand traces up along your back, softly brushing your hair away to reveal the skin of your nape to his sharp pupils.
Honed in upon untainted skin, the courts of rebirth may have removed the proof of your damnation, but not the hex itself. 
Or maybe, a foolish dragon feels some responsibility for being the one to curse you to this fate. 
A mark once imprinted upon your nape by a lonesome dragon, a heavy oath sworn to you engrained into the very fabric of your soul amidst the first rendition.
One which then became the cursed chains that sunk you under the unforgiving waters.
It’s said that love is heavy, a weight greater than the density of water. A heaviness which could sink anything and everyone under salty tides. 
A heaviness originating from this accursed prison where a disgraced being resided.
Even as the earth above welcomed new generations as they said goodbye to bygone times. 
The solitude of a fool turning into ravenous waves which seeped into soil until its appetite was satiated by the return of its beloved treasure.
It’s his fault that the tides stole you from the sunlight. 
The courts of rebirth had already forgiven you of this burden, not a single memory remaining of that tale.
What right does he have to place it back upon you? There’s no point in punishing one for a sin that had been cleansed by the tides of time.
You didn’t deserve to be held away from the warmth of a benevolent sun.
To have been dragged down below to these depths. To have been stolen away from the warmth of the sun by the command of fickles gods and ancient grudges.
It’s much too severe of a sentence for you, someone who didn’t deserve to repent for a sin that wasn’t truly yours. 
Is it okay for his hands to wipe away your tears when this cursed dragon was the cause of your agony?
Even if it’s wrong, Neuvillette holds you closer. Even if he didn’t have the right, he pressed your face in his shoulder. Allowing the vehemence of your tears to scorch his skin as you buried your cries into him. 
Glancing at the pool you had been leaning over, he watches as the ripples of the surface taunt you and him the same.
Two beings whose bodies couldn’t embrace the tides. Two cursed beings who’ve been trapped in repeated play. 
“It seems you’re bound to this prison as well.” He scorns those gods and ancient grudges, but he scorns himself the most.
Confined behind a human face and a human body, a traitor who’s lost his birthright over the waters who couldn’t welcome him.
How can a cursed dragon quell those choking sobs of yours? How can he atone for his selfish sin?
Neuvillette takes a deep breath just your tears continue to soak his skin. Steeling his resolve, he meditates on the one resolution he can offer you. 
“Fontainians still tell a tale about a princess who wished a dragon to become a prince, yes?” He begins. 
After a pause filled with hiccups and shaky breaths, you nod your head as an answer. 
“It was when she spoke the dragon’s true name that he granted her one wish,” he recounts the tale, feeling the trembles of your shoulders. 
“That part of the story isn’t fictitious,” he reveals.
Voices from the depths of his rationality whisper for him to stop, to expand no more upon this secret of his brethren. Clamorous warnings to a traitor to not repeat his past transgressions. 
However, he obeys no edict from the heavens or origins. Not when an unjust punishment caused such heart-wrenching sobs. 
“Names hold great significance to dragons. So much so, to whoever learns their true name, a wish can be granted.” 
Slowly, your tear-stained face pulls away from his crinkled dress shirt. Finally meeting his lilac gaze. He notes the bewilderment which surrounds his reflection in your eyes. 
“Is… your name not ‘Neuvillette’?” You inquire. 
“It’s a surname bestowed upon me by the mortals of the land.” 
“Then… What is your name?” A glimmer of optimism ever so subtly debuts in your eyes. 
He could not tell you. No matter how beautifully that light shines, this was one ordinance he couldn’t ignore. All he could do was glance away as he shakes his head. Unable to bear the sight of that light extinguishing. 
“That is what you must find for yourself.” 
Perhaps this is his defiance of the plot which has been unraveling for so long. His attempt to step off that circular path, searching for a different end. 
The silent audience of fate watching on with bemusement to where this rendition will lead. 
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“Oh?”
“Oh?”
What a peculiar occurrence, Neuvillette was just about to exit his study when he found himself just a breath’s width away from you. Instinctively, he takes a step back behind the threshold of the doorway.
Passive eyes studying your form, you must’ve been standing there for a while. A hand held up intending to knock on the oak door returns to your side as you stare at the floor. 
“Is there something you need assistance with?” He continues to study you. 
Lilac eyes observe as your fingers clasp together, a common habit of mortals when nervous, if he recalls the contents of a book correctly. Another minute passes before you take a deep breath. 
“Is your name Guillaume?” You peer up. 
Ah, so this is what you wished to inquire about.
The secret revealed to you that day beside an exit neither he nor you could cross. Guillaume, a name befitting of nobility. But unfortunately, not for a dragon. 
He responds with a shake of his head, expression stiffening as he watches the corners of your lips drop ever so slightly. 
“Oh…”
It seems his existence brings nothing but a frown upon those soft lips, Neuvillette felt it’s best to retreat from your sight. 
This attempt was evidence of your determination to return to the embrace of a warm star.
It wouldn’t be right for him to interfere, despite those vile voice whispers murmuring from the depth of his mind. It wouldn’t be fair to you. 
It’s best to maintain this distance between his hand and yours, for your sake and his. 
Which begs the question, why were you still standing here in front of him? 
“Is that all you wished to inquire?” Neuvillette hopes the Melusines will lift your spirits after he withdraws. 
“Actually…” You began. “I made some soup and if you haven’t had lunch yet, would you like to try some?” 
Although his stoic face might not reflect it, he’s positively baffled. Were ‘you’ always this enthusiastic about food?
The devil he knew before would view the freshest catches and clearest waters offered by a dragon with blasé reactions. 
You used to recoil away from the fishes and meats he held out to you, they were only ever touched once he charred them over a fire. 
Then again the kitchen back then was much more barren than the present, cabinets now decorated with bottles of fragrant spices and herbs. 
Was it just a difference in palate? To reject such an invitation would be to squander a precious opportunity for investigation. 
“The pleasure would be all mine.” He matches your strides as the two of you traverse toward the kitchen. 
Settling down in a chair at a wooden table, Neuvillette watches as you ladle some soup into a bowl. Following your form as you set the bowl down in front of him. A pleasant aroma accompanies the steam emitting from the bowl. 
“It’s Fontainian Onion Soup.” You hand a spoon over. 
“Thank you.” He takes the utensil and scoops a hearty serving of the rich soup.
A distinct flavor of caramelized onions and the creaminess of cheese. The broth had been thickened with a bit of flour and the cheese added to the heavy mouth feel. 
This dish certainly expresses the flavor preferences of humans… but could such a thick broth really be considered soup? 
“Do you like it?” Your head tilts to the side as he feels your inquisitiveness. 
Dabbing a napkin over his lips, he clears his throat. 
“A fine dish indeed. Although increasing the liquid content and reducing the amount of fat could improve it,” he advises. 
A hush falls over the kitchen, nothing but the occasional crackle of a fire filling the space. 
“Oh… I’ll keep that in mind.” Your voice was restraining something. 
As you turn away, Neuvillette catches the subtle shakes of your shoulders. 
Ah, has he caused offense? He recalls how cooking and food preferences amongst humans tend to be a sore spot for most, some books going as far as to claim critics as attacks on one’s pride. 
You had taken time out of your day to prepare a bowl for him, and he gave senseless comments in return. 
“Ah, but it’s delicious regardless, thank you.” He has to remedy this situation. 
The shakes of your shoulders increase, as a hand covers your lips. 
“Thank you, Monsieur.” Your lips seem to be trying to stifle something. 
After finishing your sentence, your lips pressed tighter together. He could see the corners twitching as they tried their best to remain neutral.
Before he could get another word in, you excused yourself. Leaving him in front of the warm soup. 
In that moment, Neuvillette vows to himself that even if you were to hand him a piece of charcoal he’ll swallow it without a single complaint. 
--------------------------------------------------------------
“Is your name Édouard?” 
Your voice causes him to turn his attention away from the pages of a book this quiet evening.
You stood just off to the side of the bookshelf where he was browsing, a candle illuminating the curiosity held in your eyes. Presenting a name likely discovered from those very same shelves.
Dirges ring from the corners of his mind, warning him not to allow the light to approach so close.
However, where is a shadow supposed to withdraw to when the light seeks him?
Just as how the tide couldn’t run away from the shore for long. Steadfast and constant attempts to unravel the secrets held by the ebbs and flows. 
Alas, he shakes his head again today, steeling his nerves as he catches the slight drop in your shoulders. Louis, Étienne, Théodore, and all those previous guesses, are names of heroes in Fontainian tales and epics. 
Popularized to the point many boys were named after them, but no parent would ever want to name their child after a dragon, a beast.
He doubts the pages of history have ever recorded his name. 
Your disheartened gaze couldn’t meet his, choosing to stare into the space beside him. He couldn’t fault you for that.
All your efforts of combing through old novels to search for obscured monikers just to be undone by a shake of a head.
He’s not sure how much longer he can endure being the origin of your melancholy.
“There’s a tear in your coat…” 
Your voice brings him out of his thoughts, he glances at the spot your eyes were honed on and spots the aforementioned tear. 
“Ah, I see. My apologies for being in such an unsightly state, ” he sighs. Lilac eyes ran along the jagged seams. 
He should go find a replacement from his wardrobe, but you still looked like you had something to say. 
“I can fix it if you’d like,” you offer. 
It’s just a garment, a piece of cloth that fell off some merchant’s ship and found itself in the walls of a cove. There were plenty of other garments that suffered the same fate, picked up by pairs of curious mittened hands. 
To replace this robe would be simple, but he notes the concealed eagerness in the fidget of your fingers. It must be rather dull for you down here for the past year, to the point you resorted to repairing old fabrics for enrichment. 
Regrettably, Neuvillette admits he’s not the best host. He’s got no talent for small talk nor does he know how to entertain you, thus he left it up to the Melusines. However, he could at least do this much as a host. 
“Thank you, I’d be grateful if you do.” 
His steps in time with yours through the halls as an old storage room comes into view. Still filled with collections of folded gowns and coats.
As he observes the room, you guide him to a pair of wooden chairs, a box filled with needles and threads beside one. You place the candle down on a nearby table.
“I’ll take your coat.” Holding out your hands. 
Following your request, he slips the robe off his shoulders, leaving him in a dress shirt and slacks.
Attentively you take the garment, settling down in a seat as your hand searches through the box. After your rummaging stopped, you glance back at him. 
“It won’t take long, please have a seat.” Gesturing toward the other chair. 
Lilac eyes scanned the aged seat, the door was just beyond it, it wouldn’t take much of an excuse for him to walk past the wooden threshold.
However, he pans back to your anticipatory gaze still awaiting. It wouldn’t be polite to deny such a simple gesture. 
Thus, he heeds your request, ambling toward the empty seat, he begins to settle down just as a rip resonates through the air.
His body halts all movement just as yours did, toward pairs of eyes trained on the sleeve that had been caught on the edge of a wooden table. 
The fibers of his shirt entangled with the jagged edges causing his sleeve to rip. Neuvillette truly has yet to acclimate to such fickle inconveniences. 
“Pfft!-” Quickly your hand covers your mouth. 
Lips pressed together as they tried their best to stifle the sounds threatening to leak out. Your shoulders shaking from the effort, just as they did that day in the kitchen.
Although his expression remains the same, he’s quite dumbfounded.
Unable to contain the sounds any longer, you erupt into a fit of giggles as he continues to stare. The bright chimes of your laughter fill the room, a melodic tune he had longed to hear for so long. 
“S-sorry, I just didn’t expect you to… be so clumsy.” Giggles fragment your sentence along with a brief pause to collect yourself. 
Clumsy. Yes, he remembers that word, an adjective you used to describe a dragon whenever he took on the shape you favored so much.
Of course, even a great beast like a dragon would totter and stumble when in such a foreign body. 
Although he has been in this body for many, many years now, yet, Neuvillette hasn’t acclimated to these fickle mortal attires.
If these garments weren’t pushed into his hands by the Melusines and their bright-eyed stares, he’d prefer to not dawn them. 
Neuvillette shuts his eyes. His lungs intake a deep breath, stifling the sway of these trivial inconveniences before they cause any ripples.
Once he’s certain there was no jagged edge to his stare, lilac hues peek back upon your figure. 
By now those fits of giggles had faded into a tranquil lull, your content face focused on the stitches. Body relaxed against the back of the chair, weaving the needle through the sides of the tear.
Subconsciously, his frame begins to mimic yours, rigid muscles melting against the wooden support. 
Lavender hues follow the disappearance of a sliver point, then catch its emergence from the fabric.
The torn and frayed edges draw closer and closer together by the coaxes of the thread, each stitch attentively placed by your graceful hands. 
“Neuvillette?” Your serene voice interlaces with the placid interlude. 
He hums an answer. 
“That night by the entrance… you said ‘You're bound to this cove as well’.” The pace of the needle slows. 
“Why did you say that?” You finish your question. 
Observant, a characteristic of yours he’s always deemed quite commendable. Ever so keen on the nuances of his sentences. 
The piercing stare of draconic eyes weighs on your shoulders, despite that the cadence of the needle didn’t falter. A ripple makes its appearance within a placid pool. 
“Do you really wish to know?” He warns. 
You hum resolutely. A bitter taste creeps its way up his tongue, the recollection of the string of words which damned him here. 
Instinct advises him to swallow them back, to conceal his shame from your awaiting ears. However, answering the call of your curiosity should be enough of a repayment for repairing a coat. 
“For the rest of one’s life, one shall never leave this cave deep beneath the tides. That is the curse set upon this body,” he reveals. 
The needle stops.
“A curse?…” you stammer out. 
Under your breath, Neuvillette hears you recount the disclosed secret. Repeating it to yourself as if to decipher the syntax, to find some answers to his condemnation.
The answer was sitting just in front of him. 
“…For the rest of one’s life… well, how long do dragons live?” 
To mortals, it’s time who is the reaper of their existence. From the moment a newborn sounds their first cry to the final draw of air on their deathbeds, it was the hands of a clock who ruled over them.
But such hands could not touch a being such as him. 
“The life of a dragon begins and ends in the Fontemer Sea, born from it, made from it, and shall return to it to be born again.” He wonders if mortals could grasp such a concept. 
“Oh…” Your tone grew more somber. 
Judging from your tonality, you must’ve pieced the allusions together.
To be contained within these stone walls with only a pool of seawater he could not touch as the opening, is to bestow upon him immortality he never asked for.
For the Hydro Dragon could not return to the Fontemer Sea. 
Even if dragons had long lives, it didn’t mean the humiliation of immortality. The true cruelty of this seemingly kind curse. 
“Why?” Your voice just barely above a whisper. 
Why was he cursed? Why is he in this sham of a mortal body? Why did he reveal the secrets of his brethren? All of this at the trifling sight of bitter tears. 
“Because the people of Fontaine found my name and they wished for it.” 
Why did he give you his name? And why did you then give it away? There are many questions left unanswered by that tale. 
Why did a proud dragon bow to the whims of a mere mortal in that fairytale?
A creature as potent as a dragon should never bow, not to the ordinances of false gods, not to the turbulence of fate, and not to a mere mortal. 
 Why did a maiden wish for a dragon to become a human like them? Water is an adaptable element, able to take on any shape it pleases. However, it yearns to always return to its natural shape. 
Perhaps, his ‘natural’ form appalled the devil too much. So much so, she used that one wish to confine him in the form she favored most.
More confoundingly, why did Neuvillette allow such a request? A creature favored by the usurpers dared to wish a dragon to abandon his heritage, to cross over the threshold of humanity just for their sake.
Why would a dragon ever bow to a mortal’s request?
The commandments of a false god and the howling thrashes of wind can’t make a proud dragon bow, but the weight of love might be enough for a prideful beast to lower his head towards a mortal. 
A traitor to his own fallen brethren is much too dignified of a title for Neuvillette. No, it’d be better to call him for what he is: A Fool. 
What a spectacle it was that day, even those fickle gods peered down just to watch. A fool who lost his form and authority was imprisoned beneath the tides.
A stir shakes that pool, whirling and writhing, the billows of bitterness mounting. 
“… could it be wished away?” Your voice beckons his thoughts to return to the present. 
Unlike how it was written in those tales, a curse can’t be ‘broken’. Not by a kiss, and not by clasping one’s hands together in prayer. 
“Not even a miracle could make a curse vanish, a curse only ever goes away once its clauses have been fulfilled.” 
Until the stars burn out, until the sky caves in on itself, or until the oceans of this uprooted world dry up, he shall remain here. The retribution a traitor deserves. 
He shall remain in this sham of a body, unable to become the form he desired the most in the next life he’ll never reach.
Not a human, not a dragon, just an atrocity somewhere in-between. This must be what humans call ‘purgatory’.  
“I see…” Your attention never leaves the half-stitched garment sprawled upon your lap. 
A heavy silence fills the space between you and him once more. To conclude a conversation on such a doleful note would be a disgrace. 
However, what is he to say? What words can salvage this situation? Neuvillette has no talent for small talk, he doesn’t have the same mortal heart as yours to provide you with any solstice. 
Amidst his contemplation, a soft hum resounds through the quietude, and the melodic rhythm of a lullaby begins. It seems that you took matters into your own hands, ending the doleful silence at your own discretion.
Once more his back reclines into the wooden chair, pointed ears indulge themselves in a nostalgic tune.
It’s strange, that rippling pool is swaying back to equilibrium. The surface returns to its placid rest as tension melts from his muscles. 
Unaware of the hushed pitter-patter of a curious audience, drawn in by the gentle song as their bright eyes peer ever from the cover of the door frame. 
--------------------------------------------------------------
“Madame! Look I got more Pluie Lotuses!” Kiara’s little steps rush across the marble floor. 
Getting up on the tips of her feet to show the bundle of fresh blooms, salty water still dripping from their petals, as her bangs stick flush to her face still damp from the sea. Her pink tail swaying behind her.
Your body turns in her direction just in time with Neuvillette. 
“Kiara…” A subtle layer of disapproval emerges from lilac hues.
“Remember to dry off before entering the estate, the floors can become quite dangerous when wet.” 
“But…” the flowers lower. “I wanted to show Madame the lotuses…” 
There’s a drop in her tail and horns and a sharp sting to his chest. Her sisters were gathered around in a circle, a story having just concluded, he could feel their stares upon him. Adding to the sharpness of guilt. 
“My apologies, Kiara, I only meant to warn you.” 
She nods her head silently, tail still dragging on the floor. Ah, just what should he do? A frown begins to weigh down his face. 
“Thank you, they’re wonderful, Kiara.” Your gentle chime breaks through the stalemate. 
You take the bouquet from her mittened hands, placing them atop a counter, in exchange you offer her a towel. 
“But Neuvillette is right, it’s not good to run through the halls right after you returned from the waters. It’s dangerous, okay?” Your voice as gentle as the towel rubbed over her hair and horns. 
A content smile returns to her round cheeks as she diligently nods, promising that she’ll be more careful next time. Tail lifting up from the floor as the fluffy towel wipes away the ocean droplets. 
Once fully dried, she joins her sisters. The Melusines cast shifting glances toward one another until one finally steps out from the crowd. 
“Madame…” Carole calls out softly, tugging a few times the hem of your long dress. 
“Hm?” Giving her your full attention, a towel set aside. 
“I overheard you inquiring about names with Monsieur in the library once, could you be…” Her eyes downcasted. 
Oh. This time it was Neuvillette and you who exchanged glances, eyes both reflecting the same dread.
They weren’t supposed to know. They weren’t supposed to hear those slapdash guesses. 
He never meant for them to find out. Always careful to never discuss such matters in their earshot.
For how could he bear to tell them that their cozy village was actually a prison? 
His mind was unable to conjure up an excuse, tongue unwilling to speak it. They weren’t supposed to find out. Oh, what shall he do now? 
“Could you be expecting?” 
Huh?
Two pairs of eyes widened with bewilderment, mind stunned into silence and lips just as confused.
Somehow they’ve huddled even closer than before, encircling you and him with their bright eyes and tails swaying with anticipation. 
“Will there be a new addition to the village?” 
“How long do we have to wait?” 
“Are we getting a brother or sister?” 
Their chatter and probes homogenized into a jumbled symphony his flustered conscious just couldn’t distinguish. Trying to reel his senses back from this unexpected turn of events. Neuvillette clears his throat. 
“No,” he coughs out. 
A collective ‘aw’ resounds through the air, their tails and horns drooping down at the announcement. Guilt pierced its nail through his chest once more. However, he couldn’t lie to their bright eyes. 
“N-not, yet.” You add to his statement. 
A wave of inquisitive‘oh’ ripples through the crowd. Tails picked up from the ground as the glimmer in their eyes returned.
A sweet lie sprinkled over the truth neither of you dare tell, that blood and water can’t make wine. 
“Then, do you want a little prince or little princess?” Carole chirps. 
You remain silent, only gazing down at their faces as they stare back.
A lilac stare was also focused upon you, his curiosity awakening at this question as well. He watches you take a slow breath before leaning down. 
“I’d like to have a daughter, sweet and kind like all of you.” Your hand strokes her soft trestles. 
Her head nuzzles into your palm as giggles fill the air. Only draconic eyes study the small smile upon your lips, dipped in bittersweetness. 
Did you have a lover back on the surface in this life? Perhaps someone who was promised to you. A real prince this time. 
Did you have dreams of basking in the grace of the sun, cradling a bundle as a pair of tiny fingers encase around your own?
Was this the hard-earned happy ending you yearned for?
“Monsieur…” Mamaere tugs on his slacks. 
Neuvillette reigns his thoughts back from their escapade, he angles his head down. 
“Where does a baby come from?” 
The smile on your lips stiffen just as Neuvillette’s body does.
If there’s a god who’s peering into this cavern deep below the land and sea, must they send such dilemmas his way?
How does one navigate through this treacherous domain?
“Oh dear! I just remembered.” Your hands clap together.
“There’s a few ribbons and clips in the fabric room, do you girls mind getting them? So we can braid Monsieur’s hair?” 
At once the Melusines stand at attention, focus diverted over their excitement at the prospect of decorating snowy locks.
The patters of their little steps trample down the hall, allowing you and Neuvillette a well-deserved moment of reprieve. 
“Thank you.” His posture drops slightly as a hefty sigh leaves him, lids shut for a moment of rest.  
“Of course, Sébastien.” 
His eyes crack open, casting you a glance with a raised brow. The ghost of a grin barely contained by delicate lips. By this time, Neuvillette couldn’t recall all the past attempts. 
“Regrettably, that is not my name.” 
“Was it at least a decent attempt?” 
He could hear the pout in your voice, one that didn’t last long before a light-hearted laugh follows it.
Closing his eyes once more as he indulges in those chimes, he nods ever so slightly. It was a good attempt, for it brought out those sounds he enjoyed. 
His lashes flutter open at the sensation of his hair getting gathered in your tender hold. Passing the carved wooden teeth of a comb through his snowy locks.
Careful to not pull or tug on them as you coaxed the tangles out of their knots. The heaviness upon his shoulders leaves with a deep exhale which left his body, indulging in your attentive touches.
Subconsciously, his gaze trails up at the bundle of flowers resting along the wooden table. It wasn’t the periwinkle blush of the delicate petals that commanded his attention.
No, it was that salty, oceanic wisp mingled with the flora aroma. A fleeting essence of the sea.
“Do you miss the sea?” 
Ah, it seems that his stare wasn’t as subtle as he had hoped. Neuvillette turns away from the flowers as if he had been caught amidst a scheme.
Facing in front of him, your paused hands signal your wait for his response. 
“I suppose it’s only natural for me to long for it.” 
After all these years, Neuvillette believes he has finally grasped it, an answer to that void filled with ‘whys’. As if he had seized the reflection of a star from the bottom of a deep lake.
Neuvillette thinks he understands why you and the devil yearned for the sunlight. 
Perhaps the one similarity between proud dragons and arrogant humans. They both ache to return to where they came from.
One yearns for the sea. One yearns for land.
For there and only there, could their sins and grudges be purged. To gain the most restful sleep before the hands of fate shape them anew from the element.
“Hmm,” you hum in acknowledgment. 
Fingers gentle and slow as they brushed through his hair. You hum a lullaby to accompany each pass of the comb. Melodies that made his ears yearn for more, craving for more sounds to leave your plush lips. 
His hair had always been an inconvenience, capricious strands that were seemly curious of everything in his environment.
Snowy tresses find themselves gravitating towards door hinges, door knobs, and even the minuscule gaps in ornate furniture.
However, your patience hands untangled those unruly stands. 
When a knot proves to be particularly stubborn, you tend to lend closer to hone in on the troublesome tangle. 
It just so happens that a stubborn knot appeared, causing you to decrease the proximity between your bodies.
The heat radiating from your frame sends delightful pickles along his skin, a delicate warmth making his flesh grow feverish. 
A hunger deep within begins to grumble and wallow, a greed that wishes to dig past those frivolous fragrances to get to the true taste he craves.
An ugly gluttony pleading to delve into your soft flesh. Ah, he recognizes the cause of this turbulence now…
Neuvillette clears his throat. 
“I believe I’m beginning to feel unwell, so please refrain from venturing into the cellar for the next few weeks. I should quarantine myself.” Too ashamed to turn back and face you. 
“Oh?...” The comb stops.
At this distance, he was well aware of your scent. A fine fragrance no water or bloom could hope to imitate. Concealed under a layer of lavish soaps and oils dropped from the surface was an aroma that was wholly yours and yours alone. 
A gloved hand reaches up to cover his nostrils, seeking some barrier between that tantalizing whiff. 
“Please, excuse me…” He pulls away swiftly. 
The sudden action must’ve jostled his hair too much, for the sultry sensation of your fingertips was felt along azure ‘strands’. 
Just a minor touch against his horns, yet shudders rack up his nape. His teeth sink into the flesh of his bottom lip, sharper than they’re supposed to be, anchoring those ravenous voices at bay momentarily. 
He needs to leave now. For your sake. 
Rushed strides stow a distance between his body and that delectable warmth of yours. His back turned to you as he couldn’t bear to see the expression upon that saccharine face. 
Just what expression were you making as a dragon retreated?  
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The cellar of this estate was always cold, its stones never having once touched the sunlight before, thus they only brood in their frigidity. A somberness fitting to quell a heat which yearned to burn. 
The fever has consumed his body wholly, each pant leaving trails of foggy wisps. Neuvillette burrows deeper into the hoard of sheets, pillows, and blankets. The brush of the soft fabrics prickles his skin. 
How strange it is that despite the fever of heat igniting each corner of his flesh, despite the numerous thick covers twisting and burying his bare form, he’s still shivering. 
A chill ingrained so deep it’s in his very bones, skin alight but bones frozen over, just what is this purgatory? 
Annually it happens, a period where primal instincts exude past the rigid confines of a mortal form. Making its influence in the resurgence of draconic features over the mortal flesh that traps him.
No matter how raw his true form claws to be released, the mortal prison doesn’t relent. A curse he’s brought upon himself.
Laceratations of gluttony and cardinal sin sink deeper with each provocation. The creeks of the floorboards above and the sweet voice which leaked through the woods, the morsels of you that stirred the waters of instinct. 
From the depths of the torrent, he’s so desperately suppressing came the unquenchable thirst to lure you in. Beckon you down to this shadowy cellar so that the ugly and primal waters could swallow you wholly. 
But he mustn’t. Those soft touches and smiles had just been bestowed upon him, the twine of trust still delicate. How could he ever squander such privileges? For those lovely eyes of yours to look at him filled with nothing but fear and disgust, he’d rather be chained down here for the rest of eternity. 
He must endure it for a bit longer, he knows it’ll be over soon. The gale which sweeps through him is slowly lessening its blows. 
Even if the waters of primitive instincts howled and stormed, Neuvillette refused to leave this tangle of blankets and pillows. An unwavering grip refusing to submit to those demands. Thus nature had to find its own way to subsist off a drought. 
The heat hazed over his mind, conjuring up fantasies to appease the ever-unsettled water from its vapid reality.
“Neuvillette?” A soft voice calls out.
Just like now. Desire fogs up his senses to create a delusion, mimicking the way your warm voice beckons him. It’s nothing but a figment of his depraved lust. 
“Neuvillette?” 
He buries his ears further into the down covers to block the alluring mirages. Tickling him to submit to the temptation. But he mustn’t. Nothing more than a manifestation of lust. 
 The phantom donning your sweet voice calls out for him, and gentle touches send shivers through his nerves. Ah, he must vanquish this mirage before the fraying line of his self-restraint splinters apart. 
Nothing but smoke and mirrors conjured by desire, a rigid arm expels out from the covers to dissipate the siren’s lure. 
However, it wraps around something warm, a heat which his fever wails for. Intrinsically his shivering body covets that warmth, to be buried flush against the source so that this chill may finally stop its torment. 
So like any greedy dragon, his claws enclose around temptation and drag it into his decrepit cave of blankets and sheets. 
A satisfied purr judders through his stalwart body, a warmth which could finally reach his very bones. Thus, he burrows his face deeper into the shoulder of this phantom, a lovely aroma beckoning him to pull their soft body closer. 
“Neuvillette?…” 
His eyes snap open, realization flooding through him just as the chill that had been ingrained into his bones. This wasn’t an illusion. You weren’t an illusion. 
He tears himself away, just as a moth does once they realize a hypnotic flame had set their wings alight. Trembly arms firmly planted on either side of your body, snowy locks falling onto your face. 
“Are you alright?...” The sapphire luminance of his elongated horns shines across those sinless eyes. 
The strap of a nightgown halfway down your shoulder from when he snatched you beneath his savage form. 
“You… you shouldn’t be here,” he breathes, voice unsteady and taut. 
“You’ve been away for an awfully long time… I-” Your eyes were blown wide and lips pressed together, aghast gaze not daring to glance down at the raging rigidness pressed against the silk of your nightgown. 
Frenzied shivers of pleasure jostles through his veins, tremors racking his body all the way to the tips of his horns. In desperation his rigidnesses pleaded to feel you, throbbing so painfully a hiss leaves his lips.
“You need to leave, quickly please.” Leave before he traps you again.
 Before this pathetic excuse of a sovereign loses against himself, before he makes a fool of himself. Neuvillette tries to pull away, against the weeping wishes of his erections. Face too ashamed to even look at you, but a pair of tender hands guides his cheeks back.
“...But I missed you…” You whisper. 
Why are your hands embracing his face in this unsightly state? Are they not appalled by the patches of scales littered across them? Like a flame reaching out towards a moth. 
“Leave, please.” Don’t tempt him like this. 
“... Don’t you miss me?...” Your hold doesn’t budge.
Why do you look at him like that? Irises filled with warmth as his image is reflected in the flickering candlelight. Gazing wholly up at him. A cerulean glow tinting your hair and supple body. 
“Don’t…” He reasons, the last of his sensibility crying a warning of a sinful fruit. 
“Please, Neuvillette… won’t you hold me for just a bit? I missed you so much….” The shift of your shoulder causes the nightgown to slip further off your shoulder. 
Don’t call out to him like that. No, not as your bewitching body was so close to his. The glow of a candle illuminating the curve of your cheeks, disheveled hair framing your wide eyes. 
Don’t show him such a sight, for he’ll salivate to devour you until his teeth rot.
“Please?...” Coaxing his head down so that his forehead rests against yours. 
Your warmth, your soft touches, and your delectable aroma, they parch his throat so much it pained him. Just as painful as attempting to swallow down sand from a hellish desert, it aches and lacerates his throat. 
And here you were offering a lustrous fruit, so juicy and filled of sin, in front of his famished eyes. A cruel, cruel mercy. 
“... May…May I?” It’s unbearable, this parchedness in his throat, would you be so kind to quench it? 
Your sweet hum grants him permission. Eyes closed just as you turn a blind eye to his ravenousness, still stroking his tender cheeks. Neuvillette couldn’t deny himself any more of the warmth he’s coveted for oh so long. 
Thus, he delves head-first into the glimmer of that enchanting flame. Burying his nose into the crook of your neck, so vulnerable and complacent, to hoard your bewitching fragrance all for himself. His skin flushed against yours as his bones delight in your heat. 
The reigns of self-respect slip out from his hands as they let go in favor of running along your curves and edges. Each feature, your shoulders, and hips, aligns with details he’s long ingrained into his memory.
His fervor touches pushing down the silk fabric which dare disturb his worship. Nevuillette cants his head up momentarily, puffs of smothering breaths clouding the frosty air. 
Lilac eyes drink up how the chilly air made your delectable breast perky, trailing down the goosebumps lining your torso, and landing on your exposed thighs.
A dryness itches in his throat as callused hands bite into the tender skin and he parts those placid legs away. 
Oh, how could one ever take their eyes off that shiny, succulent fruit held out so openly in the hands of the tempter of all tempters?
They reveal to him the oasis he’d been hallucinating these grueling weeks. The tip of a serpentine tongue slips across his parched lips.
Since you so brazenly offered your body up to him, you wouldn’t have any objects against him finally getting a taste, right? 
His foreboding figure traverses downwards until his delirious face is right between the cusp of his salvation and demise.
Dilated pupils peering up at you for approval, an invocation for clemency from this drought. A merciful hand graces his cheeks once more, granting him his salvation and demise. 
His tongue escapes past his parched lips, as lengthy as it was insatiable, it licks a slow and passionate strip up your slit. A taste he once would only recount in the depths of his recollections. 
Does this new body of yours still have the same weaknesses? Will you still writhe in madness if he sucks on that delectable little nub? Or how about those hidden points concealed deep within?
Could this tongue of his bring you past the brink of insanity in this life as well?
There was only one way for Neuvillette to grasp the answers he sought. A long tongue slips past the entrance of your satin walls, welcomed with a lewd squelch. 
Grip parting your legs from his path further. Those quivering calls of ‘Neuvillette’and the pawing of your small hands against his head beckon him deeper. 
Ah, redemption, it’s far too late for him now. For Nevillette has taken a bite out from that forbidden fruit, the evidence of it was dripping down his chin. 
Ah, these slick velvety walls, he missed them. They clamp down with such ferocity along this beastly tongue, extensive enough to reach the deepest cavern of you.
A divine nectar begins to pool, Neuvillette retracts his tongue just enough for the heavenly taste to slide down his throat. Your sweet musk sends his olfactory system into chaos, rampant tongue returning to ravish you.
Not one drop of restraint left within him. It’s beastly how he’s devouring you. His tongue craves more of the delicacy he’s denied himself these past years, a thirst no water could quench. Wet muscles sliding up the whole length of your slit in a meticulous long lap, his nose bumping into your clit. 
Your mewls and sobs echo off the walls when he flicks his tongue over that sensitive nub. Your body jolts violently as the length of his tongue ventures into the honeypot, toes curling in the air, but his iron-clad grip doesn’t allow any room for escape.
Delicate fingers now entangled into his tussled locks, grasping onto illuminated horns. You were likely trying to find something to ground your dissipating sanity, how unfortunate that your actions only flamed the fires. 
A guttural growl echoed. Tongue now plunging further, slithering back and forth along your walls. For being such a sweet sacrifice for him, he’ll give a reward. Slithering tongue making sure to drag against that spot he’s memorized.
Judging from how your feet were arching off the sheets, it seems this sinful detail of yours was repeated as well. 
Your body writhes, no longer docile under the white searing pleasure frying the ends of every nerve within your being. Unrelenting rhythm slipping in and out of your convulsing walls, your body twitching and flailing in reaction.
Trying to find some way to handle this surcharge of sensations. Legs instinctively wanting to shut together as if to cease this turbulent sensation, unfortunately, your pitiful strength gave no resistance against his rigid hold.
He could feel your muscles begin to seize up, slick walls clamping harder on his writhing tongue. Was this foreign sensation too much for you already?
His long tongue explores every last crevice, tastebuds lapping against those weak spots deep within as his nose bumps and grinds against that lewd clit. This unsightly side of you. 
There’s more fervor in the lashes of his tongue, slurping up the nectar trickling out your greed, mixing with his spit dripping down his chin.
Your legs trashing but unable to go anywhere in his unrelenting hold, only able to pull on his silky locks for dear life as sobs tumble out. A flood of arousal adds to the mess on his chin. One he gladly laps up. 
Oh’s and ah’s were the only choked sounds your lips could make as your eyes rolled to the back of your scrambled mind.
Neuvillette still relishing in the elixir he’s denied himself for too long, not even the purest water could compare. Reveling in the taste until every last drip ran down his parched throat. 
Pulling away, a trail connects his lips with your quivering folds.  Callous hands dig further into your legs, making room for his body. Watching as the movements of your chest slowed, his brute figure engulfed your frame.
The ache was unbearable now, each impatient throb reprimanding him for delaying their greed. Neuvillette couldn’t deny their request any longer.
Back sitting up straight, his cocks thrumming against his abdomen, precum exuding out from their swollen heads.  
The cool air did little to calm the throbs of his fervors, the girthy shaft standing tall as its engorged tip weeped precum, its twin weeping just the same.
They hover over the softness of your belly, sharp pupils trail up the shadow they cast, heralding to where they crave to be buried. 
The heat of his body was suffocating, the burn in his throat greater than ever before. But why? He had drank from that forbidden oasis, it’s dripping down his chin, yet why has his thirst grown greater than before? 
Neuvillette was so… so close. If he had only endured it for another day or two, the gale within him would’ve relented and retreated away in defeat. But oh how viciously it’s gloating in its victory. Getting a dragon to bow his head to its cardinal blows. 
“Do you… feel better now, Neuvillette?” Slow pants leave your curled lips as your hands reach up to caress his taut face. 
This brazenness, this shamelessness, this insolence. Ah, these characteristics have followed you through the grave and into this life as well. You weren’t skilled enough this time around to hide your desire glazed across your pupils. 
Did you do this in hopes of making him indebted to you? Offer your sweet body in return for stealing his name from his locked lips? Was this why you traversed down to this dark cellar so late in such flimsy silks?
That gleam in those deceptive eyes, the audacity to believe you could tame the sea with just a flick of your finger. You devious temptress. 
“Better?… you’ve only fanned the flames, you devious woman.” A snarl from the depths of him. 
Before another word could leave your lips one torrid hand pins your wrist to the sheets. Nails much too sharp to be human dig into those fickle and troublesome fabrics hiding your skin from his touch.
An all too satisfying rip resounding through the air along with your yelp. Scraps join the tangle of sheets. 
Did his mortal prison deceive you too much? Did his mild mannerisms trick you into believing that he’s a merciful soul? Or did you always ignore the warnings?
A monster with a human face is still a monster. To believe that one’s patience is endless, only a human could be this impertinent.
His other vascular hand slides down the curves of your body, settling on your hip as your legs hook behind his firm thighs. The ridges of his lower cock drag against your slick folds, wetting his girth from its leaking tip sliding down against your swollen clit. 
Precum mixes with the concoction as the glossiness spreads about his length. A pair of shaky breaths mingle as Neuvillette positions his engorged tip at your dripping entrance.
The sensation must’ve cleared the daze from your mind, your head cants downwards to stare at the two oddities. 
“A-are both of them going to…” Your grip tightens on the sheets, a subconscious search for comfort. 
Ah, now you remember danger. Now you realize your insolence to believe that a mere human could ever tame a proud dragon. 
“There won’t be any point in breaking you so quickly,” he snarls. Not missing the flutter of your hole as the weeping head dragged over it. It wouldn’t be good to break you so quickly. His sweet little sacrifice. 
Taking the erection which hung lower, he rubs its flushed tip along your slit. Each flinch and tremble sparked gratification through his veins.
The lashes of his tongue had aided in the preparation of these sinful walls, but the girth of his beastly tongue could not compare to the thickness pressed against these leaking folds.
The ghost of his breath flutters over your prickling skin. Neuvillette takes deeper breaths as the weight pressed against your core grew, the bulbous tip inching past the puckering entrance.
The stretch was maddening despite the restrained pace. Your walls fluctuate in a surging dance between clamping down and trying to remain relaxed.
As Neuvillette sinks his girth in bit by bit, its envious twin slithers against your aching clit. The sensitive bundle of nerves drags against each ridge and vein, sending jolts of searing pleasure through him and causing your satin walls to flutter. 
A velvety sack kisses against your slick folds, signaling that his length has reached its end. The fat tip of its twin resting just above your naval indicated just how deeply he was buried, trapped between your soft flesh and his sculpted body.
It’s crowded inside you, girth parting and stretching these satin walls while the length is pressed against the deepest most intimate part of you.
Forcing delectable little whimpers and gasps from your haughty lips. Quivering legs now locking ankles behind his back, like a pitiable attempt to hamper him. 
That arrogance disgraced to nothing but obscenity upon a wanton face. To see the devil so helpless and lewd under the manipulation of a dragon. What a wonderful sight. 
Surely your body remembers his. If not, then he’ll ensure it does now, he’ll engrain it into you for the next life. 
One cock slid against the satin ridges of your walls, the other indulging along your searing skin and grinding against your clit. He can’t deny how addictive your body always has been. 
Dragging as far back as your locked legs would allow him, the flushed head of one dick kisses your twitching clit, and he sinks back in.
Grunts and purrs reverberate through his throat, teeth clenching as your heat engulfs him again. Reaching deeper into your welcoming core as your lips fall open. 
His pace is methodical and controlled to his liking. Drawing out his cock inch by thick inch, sloppy trails of arousal caught on each ridge.
Each time making your core empty and yearning to clench around his girth. Just as a whine would leave your drooling lips, his hips would return to you what your core longed for. 
Pushing each tantalizing inch to stroke your starved walls until his skin claps against yours with a wet kiss. Back and forth, back and forth the resounding slaps echoed. Mingling with his low groans and your pitched gasps, creating a sacrilegious yet divine hymn.
Your hand rakes deeper into his toned back possessed by desperation.
A few snowy strands are trapped between your writhing fingers. Pulling him closer to your smoldering skin, causing your clit to grind intensely against his swollen cock, as its twin twitches within your velvety folds.
Those babbles falling from your fed lips, were they pleas for him to bestow upon you leniency or begging him to speed up? 
“Do you wish to climax?” A polite façade purrs into your ear. 
Lilac eyes were not ignorant to how a devil keens under his body, her gaze drunk off a feverish potion of lust and desire. He could feel it, these velvet walls aching for more, for his girth to jostle your core more, to extinguish this all-consuming ache within you. 
“That’s too bad.”
 His hips remain steady contrasting against the unevenness of your own pants, unaffected by your desperate mewls. You’ve been selfish enough, you’ve been greedy enough. If he were to grant you a taste of ecstasy, then it’ll be on his terms. 
He hasn’t gotten his fill yet, no, he wants to pound his shape forever into these lewd walls. The way they contract and squeeze around his girth with each drive of his hips, they’re practically begging him to.
Thus, he accelerates just a bit more, then a bit more, then a bit more again. Nearly folding you with how flushed he was against you. 
The heavy scent of lust, the smothering heat, his unrelenting and unshakable thrusts amalgamating into a spark. One which set the both of you ablaze. Your nails digging into his skin and eyes reaching the back of your head. Sobs and incoherent prattles resound through the room.
Your devious walls clamped around his length with maddening convulsions, gummy muscles suckling to guide his throbbing head to your deepest greed. It was too much.
Neuvillette was powerless as his body pressed yours deeper into the damp sheets, trying to grasp onto any fleeting wisps of control as euphoria overtook him. 
Sinking his ravenous teeth into the tangle of the sheets beside your neck, he stifles the admission of his defeat. 
A heftiness is spilled within your walls and paints the expanse of your skin in an all-consuming wave. Thick release coating every corner of your core, to finally quell that ravaging heat.
Each subsequent twitch pours more into your crowded cavity and stains your skin. The filthiness of it all seemingly prolongs your sinful depravity. 
Chest expanding with pants, pressing your erected nipples against his taut chest. Neuvillette remains buried against you, brutish arms holding your body flush against his.
As if to anchor you, to not allow the turbulent waves of madness to sweep you far from him, or him from you. Keeping your quiver body safe against his. 
In the darkness behind his shut lashes, he felt it. Your soft caresses his silky tresses and heaving body. Even as your body heaves and quivers in exhaustion, why must you touch him so tenderly?
Why must you be so cruel? If your hands keep caressing his clammy skin, stroking his peeking scales, he’ll misunderstand.
He’ll believe the delusion that you love him.
Him and not the swaying flower fields of the sunkissed surface. 
Whispers cut through the haze of lust and passion, warnings crying for Neuvillette to escape. So he pulls his face from the tangle of sheets, lungs huffing as his eyes find yours.
Exhaustion muddles the hues of your gaze, but not enough to completely smother that glimmer still present. Ah, he knows that that glimmer was. 
Even in his heat-induced daze, he’s not naive enough to believe the sincerity presented in your eyes was anything other than duty.
He doesn’t want to be reminded that those hands, which cup his face with such tenderness, are bound by a sense of duty.
A reminder that he’s merely just a stepping stone on the path of your true desire.
He doesn’t want to see it. 
The head of his cock parting with a deafening squelch. A darkened gaze follows the pool forming between your splayed legs. Disgruntlement muddles lilac hues. 
But such discontent couldn’t last long when the twitch of a neglected length protests. Its bulbous tip longed for its turn within those sticky walls. A primal ordinance he couldn’t resist.
What to call this sensation, to scorn yet desire you just as much. 
It wasn’t long before your hips were maneuvered up, your plush ass now up in the air as your quivering arms and face pressed into the sullied sheets.
As one hand supports your unsteady hips. Sharp eyes surveying the puffiness of your cunt, glistening with temptation and dripping with sin. 
Hooked fingers slides up the weeping slit, collecting the sacrilegious mixture. Earning an addictive whimper from you when his digits pulled away. Spreading them in front of his gaze, tracing over the stringy nectar stretched between them. 
How strange, those lying lips of yours whimper for ‘rest’ and a ‘moment to catch your breath’. Yet your body is still so eagerly exposing itself to his eyes, agape cunt so eagerly twitching and slick. 
You don’t even try to writhe yourself away from his hold, not even a single attempt to hide yourself from his hunger.
How skilled you are at fanning the flames, perhaps it's a talent inherent to devils like you. The tempter of all tempters. 
You’ve always been like this since the very first rendition. 
If only you weren’t so strong-willed. If only you weren’t so clever to trick him. If only you weren’t so enchanting. 
Then he wouldn’t have bent to your whims, the sea would’ve cleansed out the mortal filth from stolen land. Then he wouldn’t be trapped in this disgrace of a body. Then he wouldn’t be in love with you.
The betrayal, the disgrace, and this punishment would’ve never happened if only a fool didn’t surrender everything for a mere, fleeting creature.
Why must you make him repeat the same mistake again?
There it was again, that surging torrent within him making its voice known in the echoes of his mind. Whispering the hint on how a dragon would defeat the flame that had scorched him those years ago.
Smother the flame with the tides of depravity and vulgarity. Taint your arrogance with shame. 
There wasn’t an ounce of gentleness remaining within his eyes, a beastly hunger taking its place.
Yes, you must pay the debt of reducing him to such a humiliating state.
His neglected cock prods against that greedy cunt of yours. Unmerciful hands bruising the plushness of your hips. 
The sinful concoction from the previous sessions allowed his tormented length into your walls without resistance.
The neglected cock finally indulging in the spasms of your abused walls, it’s its turn to bully those weak spots with its thick head. 
Sobs sung in broken chokes leave your drooling lips. Trembling fingers enmeshed into the fabric as if to find some ground for your senses to land after their fall from euphoria.
He won’t allow you reprieve. No, not even for a moment. He’ll shatter your sanity and arrogance once and for all. 
Nothing interrupted the pistoning of his hips as he fucked you through overstimulation, heavy balls slamming against your swollen lips.
The previous twin cock was now experiencing the hard nub of your engorged clit running along its veins and ridges. 
There’s no room for an exchange of words. No, the two of you have long been pasted that point.
No sandy ground beneath as the two of you sank under the ravenous tides of primal instincts and pleasure.
Cacophonous growls, whimpers, and sobs filling the absence along with the thwacks of skin against skin echoed back from the cellar walls. 
You keen under the ram of his hips, jostled head writhing against the soiled sheets. The motion allows your hair to fall over your shoulders.
Exposing an untainted patch of skin. Sharp pupils watching how beads of sweat trailing down your nape reflect the azure glow of his body. 
An itch assailing his fangs even has his hips continue their barrage against your soft ass. Those lovely vulgar moans wane out from his hearing as his senses could only obsess over the untarnished expanse. 
Ah, what if there’s a way for him to pin you here until the stars themselves burn out? You were given to him as his bride.
An offering made to him.
So why can’t he forever confine you within his clutches? Just as you were the original sin which damned him to this cove.
Long tongue dragging along the fresh skin, feeling the jolts of your body. 
He’s done it once before, he’s cursed you before. Imprinting a curse upon your very soul, one which followed you through the hands of death and even when the hands of life reformed your body from the earth.
Why not renew it? 
Neuvillette pins your upper body further into the tangled bedding, one hand abandoning your hips in favor of raveling in the mess of fabric.
Your heated skin felt against his exhilarated fangs, hungry to sink into your nape. 
‘Till death do us part’, that’s not enough.
Such fleeting mortal oaths are much too meek for dragons.
No, those atrocious murmurs in his thoughts command him to curse you in the next life. And the next one, and the one after that as well. 
It’s not like your muddled head would understand, nothing but mindless prattles and mewls from the suffocating pleasure only he could ever give you.
But that’s fine, just drown nicely in lust and desire. He’ll always be waiting there at the bottom to drag you down deeper. 
Just as the tips of his pointed teeth broke through quivering skin, delicate fingers grasp upon a burly hand.
Intertwining their grasp together upon rumpled linen, a subconscious search for comfort.
An action that remits an iota of reason back to his foggy mind, hazy eyes moving toward the sight of your hand clutched around his. 
Even as he’s ravishing your weeping walls, flooding your body with his filthy essence which trickles down your thighs and ass, and chasing his own carnal needs… you still reach for him.
Shamelessly pulling his touch closer, even when the throes of rapture banished all thought from your jostled mind. 
A whisper resurfaces amidst the fog and clamor of instinct and rage.
However, it’s a whisper which made his incisors dare not budge another inch. The inkling of truth which he thought he had silenced within the depths of his heart. 
The accuracy that this wasn’t love. No, what his instincts craved was not love, it was obsession. 
For love was not this sadistic possession, not to curse you just to ease his own damnation.
No, love is supposed to be much like the warmth of your palm flushed against his knuckles. 
He remembers now, the lesson you taught him all those years ago. A demonstration witnessed with his own eyes.
Love was sacrifice, just as how you offered yourself to the tides, quelling the rage of a vengeful dragon. Because you loved your village too much to allow them to drown. 
Retreating away from the transgression almost committed, fangs repressed behind closed lips. Neuvillette presses a sweet kiss against the shallow wound.
 To love you isn’t to steal you away from the embrace of the star who’s forsaken him. It’s to hoist you up to that beloved sunlight. Just where you belonged. 
Oh, how could he not love you?
The bride offered to a dragon in a white dress who once dared to command the great beast to stand still as she braided flowers into his hair.
A brazenness contrasted with the gentleness of her smile. 
The voices of heart and cruelty rang out in vociferous battle in his mind, Neuvillette buries his face into your shoulder. Pursuing the savor of your skin, pinning you deeper into the tangle of bedding.
Providing more simulation for the pulsing cock wedged against your swollen clit and messy sheets. The neediness of his movements exposed just how close his undoing was. 
The hand on your abdomen pulled you impossibly close, adding pressure to the bulging outline of his cock.
Amplifying the ecstasy coursing through your veins, abused walls clamping down on each ridge and each vein of his heft girth. The shape engrained into your wanton core, marvelous sobs and mewls echoing off the empty walls. 
Soon those moans become shattered in your throat, eyes rolling back further with each heavy thrust and slap of his balls. Lungs cease all function as rapture unravels you wholly and exhilaration becomes your undoing. 
Sloppy contractions mix the repercussions of multitudinous ruination, dripping out your convulsing cunt. Just before a hot surge replenishes the brood that oozed out on the sullied sheets.
Grunts vibrate against your back reminding your body to breathe. 
Thick ropes paint your belly and sheets, making an absolute mess. Contracting walls trying but failing to contain the aftershocks from his cock buried deep within, already stretched to their limits, capacity long exceeded. Shudders rack your body and his the same. 
With hands still entangled, he coaxes your body around. Granting him a mesmerizing view of your debauched face.
The face he’s so enamored with that he bows his down closer, bodies still connected as he wishes to echt every last detail of you into his being. So that eternity may remember you. 
Softness resurfaces in his bones, a tender kiss pressed upon your fingers. Soothing those tremors as he guides your consciousness back to reality. 
He holds you, remaining inside as to contain his greed spilled deep inside. The heftiness of his cock prods against your shuddering walls. Every last fiber of your being overstimulated with pulsing pleasure. 
Yet, your hand refused to let go. Still holding him toward your exhausted figure in the dying light of the candle.
Whimpers and coos exchanging in a duet of devotion, a hymn so placate it quells the vapid torrents ever so slightly.
Placid fingers drawing circles into your sore back. A gentle lilac gaze keeping watch as your teary eyes retire behind heavy lashes. 
Blood and water no matter how much they’re mixed, won’t produce wine.
However, just for tonight in a realm heavy with lust, passion, and phantasm, they’ll craft a wine of delusion. One filled with nothing but wishful fantasy. 
However, this wine of delusion shall be enough to quench the thirst of lascivious compulsions and vengeance. 
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The gentle caresses of steam ghost past your leaden lashes, lukewarm ripples lap against your skin. Your sore body propped up against the porcelain, as Neuvillette drags a dampened towel along your skin. 
A pang of guilt stung him each time the cloth passed over a discolored imprint. No amount of diligent rubs would purify your skin of those bruises in the shape of his fingers. 
A stir from muscle gradually awakening from slumber reflected in the wavelets of the bath. The sensation of a damp towel must’ve further jolted your senses back to alertness. 
A cerulean glow glistens off the polished surface as your vision finally centers on the figure rising warm water over your limp body.
Attentive eyes immediately connect with yours as he scans your expression for discomfort. 
“Are you hurting anywhere?” Neuvillette halts the towel. 
You respond with a slow shake, your throat must be too sore to answer. Despite how he tries to conceal them behind a robe, blotches of azure painted along his fair skin.
Proof that draconic influence was still in rebellion of his body. All the while he’s very much aware of your eye’s every move. What an appalling sight it must be for you. 
“If I make you uncomfortable I’ll leave promptly, this was just the only solution I could find to bathe-”
“It’s fine, I don’t mind.” Voice hoarse as your frame melts closer to his, delicate fingers intertwining with between the spaces of his own scaly fingers.
Allowing your breaths to minge in tandem in the steam-damped tiles of the tranquil bathroom. 
“Does it hurt?” A warm thumb traces soft circles along the rough scales along his hand. 
Did you catch the subtle twitches and jolts of his muscles? A mortal body rejecting draconic influences, draconic influences revolting against a mortal cage. Still, he shakes his head. Lilac gaze watching your eyes trail between the scales and his eyes with skepticism. 
“I’m not quite sure as to why I’m still in this… state.” Neuvillette gives a preemptive answer to the question he assumes to be hanging off your tongue. 
“Do you… miss the sea?” However, it seems you had another inquiry hidden in your ever perplexing mind. 
A deep sigh resonates through the tranquil air. He stares at the tips of his fingers dipped into the warm water, a taunting substitute for the sea that called for him. 
“I suppose it’s natural that I yearn for it…”
A hum was your only response, eyes hidden behind closed lashes. Neuvillette just couldn’t decipher that smile of yours, curled lips reflected over the rippling surface of the steaming water. 
--------------------------------------------------------------
“Your body is still delicate, please let us return back to the estate-”
“I might actually grow roots into that bed if I’m to rest there any longer.” A pout was evident in your voice. 
Taking a few greater strides, your body pulls in front of Neuvillette’s pace. It was only momentary of course, for he swiftly rejoins your side.
Observant eyes not missing the subtle wobble in your steps along the pastures of the village.
“Please just don’t stray too far.” He relents, offering up his arm for support. 
With a gracious smile, your arm curls around his, interlocking your fingers with his as two pairs of steps ambled along the grass.
Soon a familiar pool of water came into view, enticing two pairs of eyes with its glimmering ripples.
What it strange sight those waters showed, a cursed dragon who yearned for his place and a cursed mortal who longed for the sun, two cursed beings holding hands in the reflection along the pristine surface. 
“I believe this is far enough. ” His arm pulls your frame closer, a subtle hesitance tainting his tone. 
However, your body didn’t budge. Resolute stance not moving even one bit watching your reflection warp and contort in the water. A deep breath echoes off the wall. 
“Neuvillette… do you miss the sea?” Your stare parts with the water, now peering straight into his lilac hues. 
‘Do you miss the sea?’ You’ve asked him this question many times. He's always given a composite response, but maybe his flowery words diluted the meaning too much to your ears. 
“Yes, I do miss the sea.” His candid yearning. 
There was a question his lips didn’t dare ask, ‘Do you miss the sun?’, Neuvillette wanted to riposte your questions with this question of his.
But he knew it would be pointless, for he already knew the answer. Wordlessly written all over your melancholic stare into the pond, the longing to return to the sun, to be with blood and not water. 
To love you, would be to hoist you up to where you longed to be, in the embrace of the warm sun. Neuvillette had thought he made up his resolve long ago.
However, would it be too selfish of him to wish to turn back?
To convince you to back into the tranquil estate where the Melusines await your return with those dishes you taught them how to cook.
Or maybe would at least try on those gowns still untouched? Could you wait until all those books in the library were read through by your sweet voice?
Would you be oh so kind enough to hold his hand just for a moment longer? At the very least, would you allow him to memorize your warmth? 
His grip on your hands tightens ever so briefly, a shaky breath trembles in his chest before he releases it along with the tension in his fingers.
No, it wouldn’t be fair to stall any longer, you deserve your happy ending. 
Calmly, the dragon bows his head closer to yours. Ignoring the aggrieved voices that cried for him to swallow back to secret just about to spill from his tongue.
The ending of this tale won’t ever change, for a dragon is just as foolish as he was before. 
“My true name is-!” His voice was stunned as a pair of soft lips silenced him. 
Your lips pressed against his own, forcing back the secret. His bewildered eyes hone in upon your face, but your lashes were shut as your hands pull his face closer. The resolve wanes from his bones as he sinks into your embrace. 
As your lips pull away, gasping for breath. He places his hands atop yours, searching your face for an answer. All he got was that indecipherable smile. 
Pulling his face down closer to yours again, your lips find themselves right next to his pointed ears. Under a faint breath which left your parted lips came the secret he kept locked away.
Since when? When did you find his name? Or… did you know this whole time? 
Neuvillette reels back in the embrace of your cruel hands. Lilac eyes stare deep into yours, peering through the cracks in that enchanting façade of yours. 
Ah, this whole time, did he not discover the false innocence in the irises of the deceptor of all deceptors? 
A foolish moth fell for the deception of a devil once again, flying to the flicker of a candle until his wings were charred off into ash.
Those sentences written upon parchment weren’t lies, all other monsters fall secondary to the devil. Even a dragon. 
“Why?” Was all he could muster, oh cruel devil why did you play him a fool once more?
“Because I wanted to see you again… but I knew you wouldn’t quite share the same sentiment since the moment I heard your voice… so I lied,” Those audacious eyes of yours never looked away. 
Ah, how could he forget how crafty and observant a devil is with her schemes? The charming enchantment as she performs her deceptions. Speaking shameless lies with those bewitching lips.
“If you wanted to see me… then that day at the loch… why weren’t you there?” The stir of the torrent within put a snarl into his throat.
Why must you keep lying to him? 
Ah, from the start, Neuvillette should’ve listened to the clamorous cries of his instincts. To withdraw away from the flame, to extinguish the hell fires before they left another lesson learned upon his skin.
Yet, he’s still within the embrace of your cruel hands. His body just wouldn’t pull away. 
Just what is this level of stupidity called? For a moth to still crave the warmth of the flame which charred its wings into ash. Just what is this lunacy called? 
“The nobles locked me away after those tyrants stole your name from my tongue, they locked me away.” Torment brewing in those irises which reflected him. 
A chill staggers the surge of the torrent, an icy sting which stupefied the rampaging currents.
For generations upon generations of scribes and poets never penned this detail down in any rendition of a classically beloved tale. 
“I begged them, I banged against the bars of the cell, even clawed at the stone walls until my fingers were raw, but they left me there to rot in the cold… I just wanted to see you one last time, just once more.” Those bitter pools formed in your penitent eyes spill over. 
This wasn’t how the tale was supposed to end. The maiden, who deceived a dragon for her people, was supposed to be hailed a hero. You were supposed to have a happy ending, so why didn't you get that? 
“All I ever wanted was for you and me to walk amongst humanity… look where that got us…” Tears descend from your cheeks and onto the grass below, a humorless chuckle. 
Was this another lie falling from those saccharine lips of yours? Sugar dusted on the shell of a vile trick? Neuvillette wasn’t sure anymore. 
“That foolish wish of mine… it must’ve been so painful. I’m so sorry.” Your thumb traces over the scales dotted over his cheek, evidence of a draconic rebellion against a mortal condemnation. 
Does your touch scorn or soothe him? Neuvillette wasn’t sure anymore. 
“I’m sorry. I’ll say sorry one thousand times if you wish.” A tremor in your voice.
The surge within him couldn’t sustain itself, faltering and receding back to a placid, pathetic ripple. Perhaps… It's tired.
Tired of holding onto this futile grudge. Not when the bitter answers its tides were ravenous for had finally sunk in. 
He takes a deep breath, collecting his resolve. 
“...what… what do you wish for?” Just how will this rendition end? Neuvillette doesn’t know. 
But he knows his hands should hold onto yours, desperately etching the details of your tender touch into its memory. Rations to sustain him for the rest of a solitary eternity. 
He hears your slow inhale, preparing your throat to speak your selfish desires. 
“I wish for your curses to become mine alone to bear.” You reveal your selfish wish, pressing the voucher of freedom into his hands. 
He had that look on his face again. Disbelief stupefied each muscle of his dashing face, wide eyes peering into yours trying to find the hint of a jest. Your gaze doesn’t waiver as your finger tightens around his. 
“Grant me my wish… please.” Lips stretching with a reassuring smile.
His lips press into a thin line, face returning to its place between your warm hands, he takes a deep breath. Perhaps it’s just his sense of responsibility and fairness that compelled him to fulfill this wish. 
Or maybe, the dragon just couldn’t help but submit to the whims of his beloved, a statement that remained no matter what rendition of the tale it was.  
Releasing the breath he held, the shift in the air was palpable, a lightness in his chest. The pond off to the side billows momentarily, drawing focus toward its excited ripples.
Releasing his hold, feet leading him to the side of the saltwater before his mind could process his own actions. 
He could hear it again, the hymns of the water singing the end of his exile. Reaching out a hand, it sinks past the cool surface, the tides welcoming back their prince with mellow kisses. 
The ocean calls for him, so why is he still staring back at you? The one who’ll never embrace the sea again for the rest of her life, nor ever feel the sway of Summer days in a field full of Pluie Lotus. His eyes conveyed a question his lips couldn’t bear to ask. Thus, you give the answer he seeks. 
 “Think of it as my reparations to you, an overdue apology for my mistake, for making you to suffer so much.” That glimmer in your eyes, one he understands now. 
Moving the hex to a body whose true master was the mistress of time, a body blessed with mortality. If a miracle isn’t enough to make a curse break, then perhaps the tides of time could. 
Taking a piece of the curse with each tick of a clock, just like how the waves take with it grains of sand from warm beaches. 
Once a withered mortal body is called back to the earth, the clauses will be fulfilled after many centuries. Unsettled grudges eroded away like those sandy banks. 
Until the pull of the ground makes its visible influence on your skin. Until your locks come to resemble the snowy shade you’ve lovingly run your fingers through. Until the sweet earth hums for you to embrace it once more, you shall remain here. 
What a clever scheme it all is, a masterful plan which could only ever be conjured by you. You devil, oh so devious, devil. 
“You can hate me, I won't hold it against you,” you whisper. “May this tale end in your happiness, let me do this much for you.”
A bitter bile festers at those lies of yours. How could such lies fall from your lips so easily when they always left such a vile taste upon his tongue?
Gaze honed in upon your frame, watching the gentle smile hold back the slight quiver of your shoulders. He stands back up, slow strides returning him to your side. Taking your hands into his larger ones, placing your soft touch back along his cheeks. 
“Silence… I won’t hear such deceit.” Snowy locks brushing against your fingertips.
“But I wasn’t lying…” Confusion furrows your brow, but your hands remain cupping his face.
Moving away, he studies the rivulets of regret and anguish that leave bitter trails down your cheeks. He swallows back the objections clawing up his throat, such vile words don’t belong on your tongue. 
“How could I hate you?” he confesses. 
Neuvillette has finally come to a realization. All those renditions, all those differing retellings of a classic tale. He had read them all wrong, basis clouding his interpretation. 
For the princess did love her dragon. Just as he loved her, all this time. 
Together in the depths of a cave away from the prying eyes of the divine. Breaths in time with one another as they stand in the embrace of one another, until the dragon bows his head back down.
Touching his forehead to hers, so that maybe Neuvillette could get a glimpse into that ever mystical mind of yours. 
“How can I ever hate what I’ve coveted for so long?” He asks. 
That ever-stirring torrent, that spiteful surge, where did it go? Those clamorous voices with their vengeful snarls and cynical bellows, why weren’t they intrepid enough to direct those foul words toward you? 
Not you, never you. How could they ever hate you, the heroine of a Fontainian fairytale they’ve pitifully yearned for so long? 
“Am… am I loved then?” Your lashes were squeezed shut as if death was rapping upon them. Too cowardly to face the verdict. 
“Yes… yes, you devious devil…” Neuvillette couldn’t help but chuckle at such an endearing sight.
He feels your fingers tense around his skin, astonishment in the features of your face. It soon melts away into those welling pools as a smile pushes against the corners of your eyes. 
Pressing your forehead to his, a warm droplet rolls down your cheek and over the curve of your lips. He simply rests his head against yours.
Only now in the last sentence of this retelling of a tale which has been twisted, distorted, and embellished away from the initial narrative did an unwritten truth emerge. 
A clever maiden was just as foolish as a proud dragon. The weight of their foolishness was so great it dragged them beneath the waves and kept them in a cove deep away from the prying eyes of gods. 
However, if this idiotic dragon could intertwine his fingers with yours. If he could be by your side until the hands of time call you back to the earth in this final rendition. 
If he could be the happy ending you deserved, then he wouldn’t mind in the slightest. 
Fin~
©️vivalabunbun DON’T PLAGIARIZE, REPOST, OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS. 
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oneeyedlove · 2 months
Text
King of the ashes.
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summary | Moons had passed since your last quarrel with your estranged husband, the events of Rook’s Rest bringing you together one more time.
pairing | Aemond Targaryen x oc!reader, Jacaerys Velaryon x oc!reader (platonic).
tags | 18+, MINORS DNI! Unprotected sex, PinV, arguing, oral sex (f receiving), mentions of death, Targ!cest, ANGST/little comfort, ooc Aemond (probably). SPOILERS
wordcount | 8.5K - i am so sorry
note | All the valyrian i use comes from a very shady translator so there probably are a lot of mistakes, if you have any input or helpful information pls tell me. I got really excited writing this but I feel the last part is a bit rushed, sorry about that! Any comments, likes and reblogs are appreciated! <3
Find part 1 here
[ gif by @gameofthronesdaily ]
124 AC
The afternoon sun spilled its light upon the tearful eyes of prince Aemond Targaryen, almost if mocking his heartache through its refulgent heat. The young boy sheltered himself in a seemingly abandoned corridor of the Red Keep, seeking solace from the cruel hoax imposed on him during his lessons. He could still hear them, their words — “The Pink Dread”. Such title roared in his ears, humiliation engulfing the silver prince as he forced his cries back into his throat. His mother had failed in her feeble attempts to comfort him, her attention focused solely on punishing his nephews for their so called savagery — even if it was clear this had Aegon’s name written all over it.
The worst part was that she had witnessed it. She hadn’t laughed or joined them in their persecution, but he could not bear the thought of his weakness being exposed before her. Hers was the judgment he feared most after all, she was the only one he could truly call friend.
Aemond hadn’t taken notice of a blue covered figure that watched him until she sat at his side, her weight shifting the cushions of the settee beneath them. His eyes refused to meet hers, hoping to conceal his shame as he hugged his knees against his chest. The girl stared at him in silence, her back resting on the wall whilst her feet dangled over the edge of her seat.
“Aem…” Aelora finally spoke, the softness in her tone melodic as a ballad.
“What do you want?” He asked, his voice lacking its usual warmth.
She had been made aware of Aemond’s displeasure concerning the dearth of a dragon to call his own through countless protests, his state being one of constant anger towards what he deemed his fault. It was also known by her that he would grow to be the most estimable dragonrider of them all, for none were devoted to learning and practicing as he was — it was only a matter of patience. Thus, when Aelora’s eyes caught sight of the swine inside the dragonpit, her brothers knew their mother’s chastening would be nothing compared to hers.
“My brothers are fools, I wish to apologize on their behalf.” She brought her hand to hold his, a gesture of innocent assurance.
“You did not deserve it.”
The boy slowly drifted his eyes from the window to lay his gaze upon her, his heartbeat quavering at her touch. Nevertheless, her kind words couldn’t erase his shortcomings — he couldn’t accept charity for his ridicule, he wouldn’t.
“I… I have no need for your pity.” As much as he tried, he failed to stop woe from consuming his voice, as well as his demeanor.
“I don’t pity you.” Grasping his hand tighter, she looked at him through furrowed brows.
“You shall have a dragon. One even bigger than Sunfyre, I know it! In the meantime you can help me with Lyrrax, even fly with me once she’s big enough!”
It was evident her enthusiasm was a childish one, an effort to install hope over the sorrow that buried his thoughts — but she had no care for it. She noticed as a smile pulled at the corners of his lips, even as he tried to suppress it. She wasn’t the one who owed him an apology, and yet there she was, offering her own dragon for an olive branch. His gaze flickered down at their hands, her smaller one over his, and he intertwined their fingers. The tension in his shoulders visibly eased, for Aelora’s presence was reassuring and tender.
“You truly believe I'll claim one?” He asked, unable to hide the fleeting shadow of optimism that burned in his eyes.
“I am certain of it. We are Targaryens, the blood of the dragon. You just haven’t found the right one for you.” A smile crept its way onto her face, her cheeks rosy and plump with eagerness.
Aemond scanned the girl before him, his expression almost vulnerable. The feeling of indignity was one familiar to the young boy and he had enough of it. He contemplated her words for a moment, and for once allowed himself to consider she might be right.
“Perhaps you're right. Perhaps I lack patience.” He let out a deep breath, as if letting go of the bitterness that had taken hold of him.
“You would do well to remember I’m always right.” The smug grin on her face earned herself only a rolling of eyes in response.
“Come on. I know something that will lift your spirits.”
Her words had barely escaped her lips before she burst through the corridor, tugging the prince’s hand as they ran. Hurried footsteps clashed against cold stone as Aelora strided through the maze of indistinguishable aisles, her gaze occasionally flickering towards the boy behind her. The smile that stubbornly weld itself onto Aemond’s face had transformed into a beaming grin, the sound of her angelic giggles clipping away the sullenness from his features.
A deafening thump alerted the prince of their whereabouts, the wide entry of her bedchamber welcoming him inside. He stepped in and curiously observed as she struggled to close the wooden doors, trapping the pair of them in concealment. The calling gesture of the princess hand woke him from his trance as he marched towards the illustrated wall beside her bed.
“Wait, what are you doing?” His head tilted in confusion whilst he fixated his lilac eyes on her hands. Her palm grazed the intricate designs on the stone, finally encountering the familiar crease on the surface — she pushed it, a dimly lit passageway staring back at him.
“Its Maegor’s secret tunnels!”
Aemond's bewilderment had quickly given way to wonder and awe. The maesters had taught him legends of Maegor's construction schemes, rumored to be an intricate labyrinth hidden beneath the Red Keep, but he never dreamed he would get to see them for himself.
“What?! How in the Seven Hells did you find them?”He asked, his voice tinged with disbelief.
“A fortunate accident.” She shrugged.
“I was hoping to find the way to your apartments and surprise you but I reckon it cannot be done anymore.”
“You’re mad!” His gaze quickly flickered back to Aelora.
His eyes, violet in the soft daylight that cascaded through the nearby window, studied her almost warily, as if to gauge a reaction from her. He received no such thing. The princess brought her hand to his once again, carefully establishing themselves inside the narrow corridor as the heavy stone shut behind the two. Aemond allowed himself to be pulled along, not even protesting in favour of the tunnel. He observed the strange architecture through their route, the dim light that filtered through small gaps, and the strange cobwebs that had taken form. The limb that remained in hers seemed to squeeze it almost possessively — out of fear, or out of eagerness, Aelora could likely tell.
The hairs atop the young royals’ heads twirled at the light breeze that embraced them, the scent of saltwater filling their nostrils. A moss covered archway revealed a small, damp cavern. As they entered, rugged walls formed by weathered rock surrounded them and an opening that lead directly onto the beach offered a panoramic view of the shoreline and the rolling waves beyond. Beams of sunlight streamed in through gaps, illuminating the cave's interior with a soft, ambient glow. Their feet grazed the sandy floor underneath them, scattered with small shells and pebbles, remnants of the sea's presence. Inside the serene and veiled space, a true connection between land and ocean can be felt — a fitting discovery for a princess of House Velaryon.
Aelora’s brown orbs searched for the boy’s lilac ones, a wide grin spread on her face as she squeezed his hand tenderly.
“So… What do you make of it?”
Aemond was quietly impressed, his head tilting back to look up at the ceiling of the cave, eyes roaming across the stalactites that hanged over them, a small gasp escaping his pink lips. He slowly peeled his hand from the princess, walking over to the opening to look out at the sea.
“How — how did you find this place?” The young prince questioned softly, his head turning back to look at her with an almost admiring gaze.
“It is unimportant. We can confine ourselves here whenever we like! The others do not know about it — I’m halfway certain no one does.”
A small, pleased smile tugged on his features just at the thought of using the cave as a hideaway; a private place, just for himself and Aelora. He hums quietly under his breath, in slight agreement.
“Our secret?” He extend his pinky towards her, indicating for her to do the same.
“Ours.” She smiled as she locked their fingers together in a silent promise.
A silent minute exchanged itself between the pair, the linger of a childish oath tickling their skin. The future memory would cling to their hearts for years to come, a longing fondness drowning them each and every time — except they had no knowledge of it as of the moment, being too focused on the possible amusement that would certainly come from the cavern’s discovery.
“I can best you to the shore!” Aemond wasted no time as he sprinted to approach the broken waves at the end of the beach.
“Wait!” She shouted, avidly picking up her pace to match the boy’s, his long limbs giving him a considerable advantage over the girl behind him.
It had been an entire afternoon of nothing but running, chasing, and exploring together. The young prince had forgotten his troubles and worries completely, instead focusing on the thrill of catching a slippery, wiggling sand crab. The cold feeling of the seawater against his skin didn’t bother him either, nor did the wind whipping at his silver hair as they sat building sandcastles. By the time dusk began to settle, the two children had become completely filthy with sand, mud, and water. Their garments were most likely ruined from the seaweed’s smell, fact that would assuredly earn them serious reprimands from their mothers. Yet, he could not remember a time when he felt so alive.
As they returned to the cave, the sunset’s glow reflected in the wet stones inside, a sense of comfort enveloping the rock-strewn cavity. Aelora’s gaze fell upon the young prince before her, his valyrian grace never yielding to his disheveled appearance. She observed as he bent down, a sharp ore emerging in his hand.
“What are you doing?” She questioned through a mess of rumpled braids.
Aemond glanced up to look at her, smiling softly. With careful movements, the boy carved into the rock, his free hand resting against the stone wall for balance. After a moment, the four letters of their initials were carved into the stone. The scribbles “A.T.” and “A.V.” were jagged and a bit uneven, but still clearly visible.
”Leaving a marking… to remember.”
---
129 AC
Bleeding. Bruised. Brokenhearted. Those were the exact words to describe the state in which princess Aelora Velaryon arrived at Dragonstone. The crimson liquid that gushed out of her right side was courtesy of a Kingsguard during his desperate attempts to put a stop to her fleeing — the remnants of his white cloak hanging from Lyrrax’s teeth were evidence of the retribution he earned. The loyal she-dragon landed crudely, sharp claws sinking in the placid sand as her screeches blended with her rider’s whimpers. The princess could sense the pain inside the beast’s mind, their unbreakable connection making their emotions into one.
Pellets of rain grazed her face as she crawled up the endless stairs towards the peak of the islet, the translucent droplets mixing with tears of her own. The young woman’s sobs were filled with tales of disloyalty. She had betrayed her family, her duty, and worst of all, she had been betrayed by him. The one who stood before the gods of Old Vayria and pledged his unyielding love for her. The one who she had deemed worthy of the deserting of her kin. The one who promised her a future beyond the carnage of war. And yet he was the first to commence bloodshed. Her devotion had not been enough to subdue Aemond’s thirst for revenge — but how she wished that it had.
The mud on the soles of her shoes stuck to the stone floor, leaving behind a trail of shame as she entered the intimidating fortress. Her name and titles thundered inside her ears as the voice of a guard announced her arrival, though she hadn’t actually heard him. Her tormented psyche fevered with dread, fearful of the reactions she would receive due the forsaking of her own blood. All the eyes of her mother’s Small Counsel widened at the sight of the princess, distress and grief scattered across their faces. Her gaze flickered to the silvery locks on Raenyra’s head, the woman’s back turned to the room.
Aelora’s steps were slow and somber, as if her soul had faded and the lifeless carcass of who she was moved against her wishes. She skipped past Daemon at her mother’s side, lacking the nerve to meet his stare. Finally, she reached the bereaved woman before her, brown meeting lilac in a lachrymose gaze. Their pale hands intertwined in haste, and the once composed tears transformed into loud sobs as the young princess collapsed to her knees, begging for Rhaenyra’s forgiveness. Blood and teardrops met in the Black Queen’s dress, staining it as she knelt in front of her daughter. She brought up her palm to caress the side of the young woman’s face, the maternal touch conveying a juvenile yearning in Aelora’s heart.
“Oh my sweet girl.” Her mother whispered as anguish imbued her words.
---
The moons that followed Luke’s death were arduous for the princess, constantly having to prove herself before the family that once accepted her. Rhaena and Rhaenyra had silently recognized Aelora’s circumstances, acknowledging she grieved for a husband as well as a brother. Baela had hesitated in the endorsing of her cousin but surrendered to her pleads nonetheless. Daemon barely addressed his wife’s daughter, his hatred for his nephew fused inside the resentful stares he gave her. Despite her best efforts to cope with her standing, it was Jacaerys’ unyielding disregard for his sister that slayed the woman’s hope of mending their bond. The storm behind the prince’s eyes was well hidden inside his stoic expressions, seemingly unaffected by Aelora’s prayers for his recognition. It was only in the afternoon before their grandmother’s departure for Rook’s Rest that the siblings found each other.
The soft rustle of parchment echoed through the otherwise silent library, a salty breeze infiltrating itself through the window. The princess sat by the unlit fireplace as her gaze swept across the leather-bound books scattered inside the numerous shelves, each and all replete with the history of House Targaryen. The smell of dusty, old tomes was a bitter comfort in the midst of her morose silence. She had accustomed herself to this moments of solitude, seeking solace inside her soul. At heart, her deepest fantasies scampered free, picturing a simpler life as a commoner — untethered by the Targaryen name and relieved from the torment of the constant shadow of war.
Aelora was chased back into reality as Jacaerys’ presence made itself known. The young man invaded the room like a blizzard, his cold glare locking upon her figure as she rested over the armrest of the settee. Her eyes glistened with heartache once she felt how profoundly hostile her brother had become, turning on his heel to abandon her presence. The woman’s voice trembled as she spoke, her words pleading and vulnerable.
"Jacaerys, wait...please."
He halted, his shoulders tense as he looked back at her. The expression on his face was hard to read, a mixture of ire and pain etched into his features.
"What do you want, Aelora?" His voice was cold, the distance between them palpable.
"Have I stooped so low in your graces that my presence offends you? We are family, Jacaerys. Can we not even speak?" Her voice was laced with a hint of desperation as she asked.
"You ask for words as if they could undo what has already been done." His expression hardened, his jaw tightening at her words.
Aelora got to her feet, her legs trembling under her weight. He spoke as if it had been her to murder Luke, not Aemond. Her eyes met his as she stood, her voice wavering with a mix of sorrow and anger.
“Do you truly believe I have not been made aware of that?!”
“Every day of my miserable existence is plagued by guilt. I close my eyes at night yet sleep eludes me, for the ghost of Luke haunts my every thought!” She grew restless at every word, tears forming in her brown orbs as she gestured frantically through phrases.
“I know I failed him, as I failed you and our family… But don't forget I too lost a brother that day.”
Jacaerys stood frozen in place, his grief still bubbling within him and yet his heart ached at the sight of his sister's tears. Her words cut through him like a dagger, his own teardrops threatening to fall.
"Luke is gone, Aelora, and your presence here only serves as a reminder of that fact." He took a step backwards, his jaw clenching as he struggled to control his emotions.
“You cannot blame me for what was not my doing. I was Aemond’s wife, not his conscience — albeit my best efforts.”
"But you married our enemies, sister! Do you truly believe your actions have no consequences?"
"You stood by while they plotted against us and our family. How can I not blame you, when you chose to bind your fate to theirs?" A hint of anger flashed in Jacaerys' mournful eyes as he continued.
“i admit i have made my bed and I must lie in it, but you speak of matters you do not understand.” She crossed her arms over her chest, as if she could shield herself from his hatred.
“He swore to me…“ Her voice cracked, heartbreak swallowing her words.
“He swore to avoid this — to stop this insane feud. He is an oathbreaker as well as a kinslayer and he made me a fool!”
The room was still tense but as Aelora's sobbing grew heavier, something shifted within Jacaerys. He stepped closer to his sister, and without a word, pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace. His body was warm against her chilly frame as he held her close, almost protectively. Their grievances seemed to dissolve in that moment, replaced only by a shared sorrow as her tears dampened his shoulder.
“Do you hold love for him, still?” He whispered.
“Only for the memory of who he used to be.”
The prince held Aelora a little tighter at her admission, his chin resting on the top of her head as they remained locked in their embrace. He could feel the weight of her broken heart and the ache it left her with. His wrath had dimmed, replaced by a sense of care and familial loyalty.
"Memories are not enough… Promise to break him should you get the chance"
“I will.”
Neither of them knew, but she lied.
Rhaenys, The Queen Who Never Was, met her fate by the hands of the newly appointed Prince Regent, Aemond Targaryen.
Meleys, The Red Queen, had her head paraded through the streets of King’s Landing.
And Aelora, Aemond’s beloved nightmare, sent him a raven.
“We must speak. Find me at ghost’s hour where salt meets memory.
A.V.”
---
The stars twinkled outside the formidable walls of Dragonstone, nightfall enveloping the island in its deep shadows. The approach of ghost’s hour disrupted the princess’ heartbeat inside her chest, her previous conviction giving way to fright as she slithered into the network of caves where the dragons nested. Aelora called out to Lyrrax, her voice wavering with a mixture of stress and uncertainty. As the great beast appeared before her, its wings unfurling, she couldn't help but wonder why she had sent the meeting request at all.
The dragon’s own tension could be felt through her scales as the princess climbed onto its back, the weight of her decision settling on them like a heavy cloak. As they soared through the night sky, Aelora's thoughts were consumed by memories of Aemond and his treachery. The image of him flying over her grandmother’s corpse haunted her mind — the cold, merciless expression he conveyed twisting her guts. She questioned her own judgement in seeking him out, even as her heart yearned for the man who once pledged his undying love and protection. She looked back at Dragonstone, its familiar walls and towers illuminated by the silvery moonlight; she was abandoning her blood for him once again. The princess could only surmise she was either possessed by madness or a true lovelorn fool.
The frigid roar of wind traveled across her face as Lyrrax’s wings scraped over the tide’s surface, saltwater droplets cutting into her skin as well as her pride. She knew her grandmother would never forgive her for this, it was likely none would; she was an idiotic excuse for a Targaryen if she thought seeking the slayer of so many of her kin was justifiable. The burden of loss hung heavily on Aelora's soul as she took in the landscape before her. The faces of Rhaenys and Luke, forever etched in her mind, fueled a mix of anger and trepidation inside the young woman. Her thoughts swirled with a maelstrom of emotions as she soared towards him, recollections of the past playing out like a tragic play as her brown orbs focused upon the once affectionate site of King’s landing.
With practiced grace, Aelora guided the dragon into a smooth descent, its blue wings beating against the air as its claws set down on the shore of Blackwater Bay. The sound of their landing was muffled by the night, its velvety darkness swallowing the pair by the quiet that enveloped the world like a thick, black blanket. The crash of the waves greeted the princess’ ears as she dismounted, struggling to catch her breath and steady her emotions. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, the young woman caught sight of the familiar cave that laid ahead, its entrance like a dark maw in the cliffside. The jagged edges were illuminated by the silvery glow of the moon, sending shadows dancing across the rocky surface.
Bittersweetness engulfed Aelora’s frame as the memories memories of her secret rendezvouses with Aemond brimmed in her mind. Every step she took towards the cave was like a blow to her legs, feeling shaky and unsteady. Doubt gnawed at her spirit as if a persistent rat, her stomach flipping with every crunch of the sand beneath her feet. Yet, she pushed forward, determination fueling the princess even as her disheveled heartbeat hammered against her ribcage.
The sight of Aemond standing amongst the shadows caught Aelora off guard, the dim light emanating through the cave's entrance barely illuminating his form — she had thought to be the first to arrive. Before she could stop it, a slight gasp escaped her lips and her eyes widened in disbelief. He looked different, somehow. He seemed further villainous and wearied, the once familiar spark in his eye now replaced by a bold robustness. His sharp and handsome features were now harder, almost rugged, as if her absence had left its mark on him. Swallowing hard, she acknowledged the stark contrast between the nostalgic sentiment that nearly overcame her a moment ago and the tense silence that now enveloped them. They stood opposite each other mutely, both frozen and locked in each other’s gaze.
“Wife.” He greeted, his voice grazing her earlobes like the finest of silks.
“That title does not fit me any longer.” She replied coldly.
His lilac eye examined Aelora’s frame from head to toe, her cloak hiding black leather garments — most likely dragonriding attire. She looked skinnier than he recalled, the shadows only enhancing the redness of her eyes. Aemond could not help but wonder whether she had been weeping during her journey there, grief tackling her psyche as well as her build. The princess demeanor turned stiff, arms crossing as she stood clearly on edge.
“You remain mine, before gods and men.” His gaze flickered with something akin to resentment.
“Kinslaying is a rather suitable ground for an annulment, i should think.” She said, removing the cloak from her head, allowing her braid to cascade over her shoulder.
He froze, the muscles on his neck and jaw tensed. His first reaction is one of anger, clenching his fist as he prepared hateful words inside his throat. But as he looked her in the eye, his wrath melted away into something much more dangerous and devastating — something fragile. All he could see was the girl he grew up with, the girl who stood by him at his boyhood. The woman who whispered sweet nothings amongst the vows of their wedding. The woman who played silly songs on the harp and sang with the loveliest voice he'd ever heard. The wife who's hands he dreamed of at night.
“So eager to rid yourself of the shame affixed to my reputation… And yet, you request my presence with equal vigor.” He stood with his hands behind his back, swallowing any desires that threatened to get the better of him.
“It is my understanding you have become Prince Regent.” She tried to ignore his jabs, the truthfulness they held hitting a sore point inside Aelora.
“The betrayal of your brother becomes you. Yet another broken oath in your conquest for the throne.” She returned his insults, the knowledge of his ambition stirring something within the prince.
“You speak of broken oaths. And what ought I call the oaths you have broken? The promises we made when we married in front of Heleana and the Gods?” His one eye darkened, taking a step forward as he kept his tone controlled.
“Your hypocrisy is staggering.” He shook his head, jaw clenched as he spoke.
“My hypocrisy?!” She could feel the anger boiling her blood, as if fire consuming wood.
“Your sanctimonious preaches fail to erase your true nature, Aemond. Naming yourself Targaryen whilst the sigil of our house is paraded through the streets as if some vainglorious prize of war!” Her voice turned to screeches as it echoed through the stone walls of the cave.
“You may call me a bastard if you wish to, but my blood honors Old Valyria far more than yours.”
Aemond’s hand shot to her wrist, gripping it tight enough to leave marks on the skin underneath. His single eye was wild and livid, the scar around it turning his gaze even more menacing. He moved a step closer, the scent of him overwhelming her — mint and leather mixed with a hint of smoke, the familiar essence blurred her senses in a wave of longing. The princess hid her weakening behind a wrath curtain, the disdain she held for the twisted version of him that now stood before her casting their love aside.
“Watch your tongue, Aelora.”
“Or else? Will your murder me as you did my brother? My grandmother? I can see the conqueror’s dagger in it’s seath, evidence of yet another attempt at fratricide!” She accused him further.
“Have you not done enough? Must you ravage our family and yourself in your thirst for power?”
The hand that gripped her wrist traveled up to the back of her head, grabbing the braided hair. Yanking it softly, he pulled Aelora even closer, his lilac orb flickering over her expression.
“I am Prince Regent as the Gods intended.” He hissed into her ear, a dangerous edge to his voice.
“My reign, unlike that of Aegon, will be glorious — my rule absolute. And you, wife, will be by my side when I sit on the Iron Throne.”
Aelora’s eyes betrayed her as water began to brim in their edges, a horrified gleam passing through her forming tears. A hand cupped his left cheek as she scanned him, a desperate search for the man he once was. The man she longed for each night. The man who was the source of greater heartache than she had ever felt in her life. The man who was also the root of her most joyous moments.
“Your ambition shall be your demise, husband. I was yours before all of this, before your perverseness overcame your affection for me.”
“The crown may sit upon your brow, but i have sufficiently torn my heart to shreads in my attempts to remove you — even if you are my weakness, I will never belong by your side once more.”
”No wrath or cruelty is capable of subduing my craving of you, issa vēzos (my sun).” He leaned into her touch, letting his eye flutter at the feeling of the soft skin of her palm against his cold cheek.
In that moment of contact, he seemed so vulnerable, and much younger than his years. He was weak. A pathetic, love-sick man, and he could not bring himself to care. Aemond leaned his head against hers, their foreheads connecting as his gaze softened.
“I am plagued by thoughts of you and I, each reminiscence a torment to my soul.”
“Come back to me, be my Queen and rule by my side. Our love will be known forever through the Seven Kingdoms, your belly swollen with our child ensuring our line shall never be forgotten.”
There was a moment of silence as Aelora absorbed his words. He was offering her a chance at a life she had dreamed of, one full of passion and legacy as their offspring lived on after them. But it would be an existence consumed by greed, she knew it. There could be no going back after what he had done; Lucerys would never be uncle to her progeny and Rhaenys wouldn’t be there to counsel her through hardships. Their family was torn from the beginning, the tapestry of their lives further lacerated by his actions. And she couldn’t betray her blood again.
“I would do anything for you.” He begged.
“Would your bend the knee to my mother?” Her voice was shaky as the lachrymose gaze she held shattered, its translucent shards falling through her cheeks.
"I will give you anything. Anything within my power to give." His voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper.
"But not my crown."
“Then there shall be naught left to ask, issa hūra (my moon).” She sent him a smile, albeit a woeful one.
Aemond opened his mouth to protest, but knew it would be in vain. He was so close to her that he could feel her breath on his lips, the feeling slowly driving him mad. He had imagined Aelora’s face, her curves and her voice each night he had been forced to spend alone — and here she was, right before him, but he couldn’t have her. The thought of how this could be the last time he held her without being shoved away made him pull her to him, his arms wrapping around her like vines.
The princess found herself unable to resist as she pressed her head against his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat a comforting presence in the silent cavern. She clung to him tightly, her fingers gripping his clothing like a lifeline in a storm-tossed sea. For a moment, they stood there, holding each other without a word. The moons of distance melted away, replaced by a shared sense of desperate longing to be close again. Despite the comfort and familiarity of his embrace, she knew deep down that he would never surrender — his path set on the course of war and the bloodshed it entailed. The pain and loss they had faced would forever stand between them, but it did not matter tonight. Concealed by shadows inside the stone walls surrounding them, their grievances and broken oaths would dim at the radiance of their burning passion. For a brief moment, the pair would be one once more.
Aelora’s head parted from the warmth of his frame as her gaze followed the line of Aemond's jaw, her brown orbs traveling upward until they reached his mouth. A sharp breath hitched within her throat as she remembered the soft touch of his lips against hers, butterflies rattling in her stomach. In that moment, she was transported back to the blissful months of their marriage, when their intimacies were full of love and promise. The need to feel the familiar touch of his skin against hers consuming every inch of her being.
The prince’s mind and body were on fire. He could feel her gaze raking over him, like a caress to his spirit. The mere sight of his estranged wife in his arms making his heart pound wildly in his chest. His good eye watched her mouth as she swallowed, his one trackmindedness fixated on everything about her. He could see the memories, the same ones he saw every night, flashing through her gaze. His fingers reached up to brush a strand of her brown hair aside, her once perfect braid now half done as the long locks threaten to escape. His hand trembled with how badly he wanted to feel her body, to trace his hands over her curves and kiss her neck, as he had done countless times before.
Aelora's restraint snapped with a sharp tug as she pulled him down towards her, their lips finally meeting in a desperate, ardent kiss. A muffled gasp left her lips at the familiar touch, her body responding instinctively as she pressed herself against him, hungrily devouring his taste. The prince’s sense of control collapsed like a house of cards, his tongue slipping into her mouth as he held her close. He was a man starved, his palms roaming over her frame, as if trying to commit every curve to memory.
Aemond's hands began to roam under her cloak, his fingers tracing over the round hips hidden underneath. He could feel the heat of her desire through the thick fabric, his own body aching to devour her whole. The fingers on his left hand fiddled over the clasp of her mantle, yearning overcoming his senses as he tossed the fabric onto the delicate sand.
Before he was able to protest, Aelora broke their kiss. Her eyes glistened with arousal as she watched his lips, reddened and bruised from the hastiness of their embrace. Her nimble hands found the buckle of her leather doublet, shivering as the absence of the rougher material revealed her chemise underneath. The sheer linen did little to protect the princess’ frame from the cold breeze that made its way through the cave’s entrance, her nipples stiffening at the feeling. The young woman felt no grief for her modesty as Aemond’s eye watched her carefully, a glimpse of a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. She continued to undress, slender fingers slowly untying the laces on her breeches. Her boots met the rest of her dragonriding garments on the jagged rocks by the cavern’s wall, leaving the princess in only her smallclothes.
The silver prince was left breathless by her actions, completely entranced by the sight of her exposed chest, every contour of her body on display through the translucent fabric. His eye drank in the sight and he could feel his blood rushing to a southernmost point. He wanted to worship her, to kiss and nibble her skin — to make her cry out his name until the only thing she could remember was the feel of him against herself. At this moment, he was no longer Aemond Targaryen, Prince Regent and Protector of the Realm; he was a dog at her heel, eager for her calling. His gaze never left hers, staring at her vulnerable state as he mirrored her actions. First he removed his baldric, steel clinking as his dagger and sword fell to the ground. Then, he slowly undid the various buckles on his black jerkin, his breeches following suit. He did not waver as her brown eyes found his stiffened manhood; for he hadn’t cared to remain in concealment as she did.
Aelora’s gaze followed her husband as he approached her again, his hands reaching out and his fingers gently sliding up her bare thigh. She felt him press further into her, his cock pushing itself snugly against her core. He leaned in until his mouth was just beside her ear, his breath warm against her neck as he bit the skin softly. There was no denying she was his, her soul forever branded by his sinful devotion; the princess would never trust a kinslayer twice over, but she couldn’t help but love him.
“Vestragon ao’re ñuhon. (Say you’re mine.)” His voice was barely a whisper but it was as much a command as a plead.
“Vestragon ao’re nykeēdrosa ñuhon, gīda sepār syt kiza bantis. (Say you’re still mine, even just for tonight)”.
“Nyke aōhon. Ēva tubis ōños. (I am yours. Until daylight)”. She answered, lips trembling as the words escaped her.
A primal possessiveness engulfed the one eyed prince, the part that had always longed for her roaring in victory. At that very moment, he felt that there was nothing in this world that he would not do for her. He took her mouth in another kiss, their tongues clashing in a more feral and desperate manner. Aemond lifted her, his calloused hands digging into her plump arse as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Her fingers gripped at his silver locks, his sudden responde sending waves of languor across her limbs. He moved her onto the cloak that was on the ground, the velvety sand welcoming her weight over the fabric as he covered her body with his.
Aemond continued his path of kisses down her body, his hands wandering over her breasts and waist and his mouth leaving more marks in its path. He could feel Aelora shudder in anticipation, her hips arching against his as he moved closer to her core, the air heavy with the scent of her nectar. He halted, taking in the sight of her before him. It had been so long — too long — since he had laid eyes upon her like this, and he relished in the way she already looked completely wrecked by his touch alone. The prince finally reached his ultimate goal, his lips finding her mound as he licked a stripe across the sensitive flesh. He let out a low moan at the taste of her sweet ambrosia on his tongue, a loud whimper emanating from her lungs in response.
The young woman’s hair laid carelessly on the ground, grains of sand intertwining into the brown mess as she arched her back in pleasure. She cried out as he grabbed her thighs, spreading her further apart and burying his face between her legs, his tongue exploring her in ways she had missed for many moons. He could not get enough of her, his lips and tongue trailing silent prayers over her most sensitive spot as his name left her lips. She felt her walls clench as he barged inside her cunt with a long finger, adjusting to the once familiar feeling. Shivers ran down her spine in satisfaction as Aemond synchronized his movements, the overwhelming pleasure bringing stars to her eyes.
A lilac eye never left her face, watching every expression that played across her features. Her mouth parted in pleasure, each gasp and moan fueling the fire of the prince’s own arousal. He had longed to see her like this, writhing underneath him, his name on her lips and his touch on her skin. The memories of her had haunted him in his nights alone, but now, in this moment, he was finally able to worship her like the god given treasure that she was.
Aelora's cries grew more intense, her hips bucking against Aemond's skilled mouth as pleasure mounted within her. Her thighs trembled slightly, its muscles tensing in anticipation of the release that was quickly approaching. Each touch and movement only served to bring her closer to the precipice of pleasure.
A loud cry echoed through the cavern as she climaxed, her body shuddering and her fingers digging into the ground in a desperate attempt to anchor herself. As the waves of ecstasy washed over her, she felt as though she had been transported to another realm. The connection between them was somehow stronger than it had ever been before, their souls dancing to a passionate melody.
When Aelora finally gasped for air, the prince slowly moved up from her core, his body hovering over hers. He watched as she recovered from the rapture he had given her with a dark and vainglorious smirk. With his elbow holding himself over her, he pulled her leg to rest on his hip as his eye scanned her features. Her hand moved to cup his cheek, the tip of her finger caressing his reddened scar as she furrowed her brows.
“Nyke gaomagon regret ziry. Skoros nyke vestretan se mōrī jēda. (I do regret it. What I said the last time.)” She apologized, regret brimming in her brown orbs.
Aemond leaned into her touch, his good eye closing at the gentle touch of her hand against his skin, it felt nearly as soothing as a balm to his weary heart. The mention of the title she had bestowed upon him sent a chill through his spine, his monstrous behavior had earned the words even if they had maimed him. His face turned to press a soft kiss into her palm, before opening his eye to look at her again.
“It is of no importance.” His voice was rough and low as he spoke.
Aelora softly tugged at the straps of his eyepatch, earning a trembling exhale from him in response. The touch of her delicate fingers on his malady sent a wave of fear through his spirit. She removed piece of leather, revealing the puckered, scarred skin where his eye had once been. He found himself unable to look at her for a moment, the feeling of vulnerability consuming him in the dim light of the cave. The princess looked deeply into the sapphire gem in his socket, tenderness engulfing the kiss she placed upon it.
Aemond's touch was gentle as he took her lips in his, not waiting for her response as he gripped her hip and turned her on her stomach. His eye roamed over the expanse of her back, tracing his fingers over the smooth surface of her skin, leaving a trail of gentle caresses in its path. It was a stark contrast to the frenzied way he had touched her previously, this touch was far more tender, almost reverent in nature. His body pressed against hers as the length of his manhood rested on the small of her back, buring into her skin. He leaned down, his mouth finding her ear as he moved closer.
“Azantys ñuha sindigho, issa vēzos. (I have missed you desperately, my sun)”. His breath was warm against her skin as he whispered.
Aelora arched her back as she felt the tip of his cock breeching her dampened slit, her knees propping her hip upwards in search of contact. His arm reached under her, squeezing one of her peaks as he fully entered her. The pair let out breathless moans as Aemond moved against her, leaving no time for her adjustment. The sting of pain she felt had been nothing compared to the ecstasy of his length inside her, finding herself unable to focus on anything but the feeling of being around him.
The prince’s thrusts grew harder, his body moving against hers in a rhythm that was both frenzied and yet somehow controlled. Her moans and sighs filled the air, his own breaths coming quick and sharply as he took her with a wild abandon. He buried his face in her neck, biting down on the soft flesh as his hands buried into her hips.
“Avy jorrāelan. (I love you)” Aelora murmured between ragged moans, her hand reaching to grasp his hair.
His eye widened slightly at her words, a thrill rushing through him at having heard them coming from her lips once again. His lips found the base of her jawline, pressing a kiss to the sensitive skin. His cock kept reaching further into her cunt as their flesh moved together with a rhythmic thrust, like the rise and fall of waves on the shore.
“Avy jorrāelan. Avy jorrāelan. Avy jorrāelan.” Aemond mumbled repeatedly in between thrusts, his words a fierce declaration of their love. He continued moving inside her, his heart racing in his ribcage as his pleasure overcame physical bounds.
Every thing about this moment was singled out from any other they had shared. The grief, pain and betrayal that coursed through their marriage dissipated amongst the dragon fire that burned within the pair. It all faded away, and all that was left was this, the feel of her skin against his, the sound of his muffled whimpers in her ear, the desperate way he repeated her name over and over. This moment felt like the calm in the middle of a storm, a rustle of the ashes of their love.
Aemond could feel his peak building, his movements becoming more urgent and frantic as he chased the pleasure he sought. His breaths came out in ragged pants, mingling with the sounds of her gasps in the air as his length clashed inside her. Aelora sensed the twitching of his manhood, threatening to spill his release inside her walls. The mere thought tightened the knot that had formed in her belly, reaching the edge of her desire.
Aemond sent a few more thrusts into the brown haired woman underneath him before both found their release simultaneously, their movements slowing as they both rode out of the ecstatic trance that washed over them. The prince’s face was buried in Aelora’s neck, a guttural moan escaping him at the force of his own pleasure. Her body shivered at the feeling of his seed drowning her cunt, pearly tears streaming down her leg as she whimpered.
The lovers stayed silent in an adoring embrace after he disconnected their bodies, a wave of comfort washing over them. For a while they simply laid there, basking in the afterglow of their passion, their frames entwined in a tangle of limbs. It was a strange sort of peace, one that they both knew wouldn't last once the sun rose — but for the moment, they were content. The night stretched on, each hour passing in a blur of whispered words and slow hands. Aemond and Aelora clang to one another, as if they could melt into one if they only held tightly enough. The threat of daylight and the inevitable parting loomed over them like a dark cloud on the horizon, anguish settling inside their hearts.
As the hour of the nightingale approached over their secret sanctuary, the prince and princess began to break away from the blissful haven that enveloped them. There were no words to be spoken as they both dressed silently, the sound of rustling fabric and soft breaths filling the air between them. The weight of war and the knowledge that this moment was fleeting hung heavily in the air. Aemond felt a pang in his chest as he looked towards her, a mute wish in his heart that they could stay like this. To be locked in this moment forever, away from the world that demanded so much from them. But he knew that was not possible. Soon, they would have to return to their duties and obligations — this feeling would become nothing more than a memory.
As they stood before each other fully clothed, their eyes met in a bereaved gaze — sorrow for the love they shared engulfing them. Aelora stepped closer to him, holding his hand softly, almost in a cowardly manner. She had no words for the man who was her everything, the man who had her in every way possible, and she was ashamed of it. His free hand moved hesitantly to hold her cheek, his eye flickering over her face, taking in every feature. He wanted to burn the image of her into his mind, to remember every detail about her, down to the smallest freckle on her nose. His thumb traced her soft skin as he leaned in to press a soft, lingering kiss to her lips, as if to say “I will be with you forever”. Tears began to form at the corners of her brown orbs as she abandoned his touch. The sound of the rustling sand underneath her feet echoed through the cave as she reached its entrance, her form never escaping his stare.
She halted at the stone archway, her silhouette framed by the soft silver light of the moon. The night air was cool on her skin as she turned to look back at Aemond, the feel of their passion still lingering in the air. For a moment, they simply stood there, eyes meeting in the darkness. She ached to say something, to find the words to convey the maelstrom of emotions that raged within her. In the end, she simply smiled, bittersweet and knowing.
“Should we meet on the battlefield, I can’t hesitate.” Her voice came out a whisper.
“I won’t hesitate to kill you.” She repeated, to herself or to him — Aemond didn’t know.
The prince’s breath had grown a little shallow at her words, a frown forming on his face. The idea of their next encounter being on the battlefield, facing off against each other like enemies was a thought that pained him, even though he knew it was a possibility. He wanted to tell her that he wouldn’t hesitate either, that he would fight her with everything he had if they ever met in battle, but the words stuck in his throat. He simply nodded in acknowledgement.
Once again, she left him. Aemond would be a King without a Queen, half of his soul forsaken in his search for power. It had to be worth it.
Bur they wouldn’t meet again, not in the context of war or any other.
She would meet her demise alongside her brother in the Battle of The Gullet. Fighting hard like a Strong, dying besides her dragon like a Targaryen and laying to rest at sea like a Velaryon.
He would grow mad at her perishing, ire overcoming his every sense. And he would eventually be slayed by her stepfather at The Battle Above God’s Eye.
Their love was epic, a fierce tale of forbidden passion that would never be written about inside history books. The only legacy they would leave behind had been scribbled onto a stone wall years before.
A.T. & A.V.
---
Taglist: @onlyrealjoy @siriusblackssun @adombtch
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kykyonthemoon · 7 months
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Moonlit
You're on the mission to approach a target at a banquet, and that's all it takes to drive him crazy.
🌻 Rafayel/Xavier/Zayne x F!Reader See Caleb and Sylus's parts here: Full Moon Tags: R16+, suggestive theme, MDNI, possessive, marking and biting, no established relationship This is a request by Xuanlinhh. A/N: This is my first time trying out something like this for L&D, as I don't usually write fic with suggestive theme. So I'm curious to know how I've done with this fic. Feedbacks are always appreciated. After so many titles, I decided to choose "Moonlit", since the moon represents illusion, fear, hidden things. These are the scenarios where he shows another color of his to you. Thus, in all three scenes, there are moonlight all over the place.
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𝑹𝒂𝒇𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒍
Your eyes widened when you saw the dress draped over your cotton blanket. It was long past the ankles, the shoulders were slightly bulging and hanging down to reveal the collarbone. The dress consisted of many layers of pastel pink and purple. In the afternoon sunlight, the sequins and pearls attached to it seemed to shine.
“Does he really want me to wear this?” It was a murmur to yourself. The dress was too exquisite, too expensive, too... much at least in comparison to what you would often put in your wardrobe. You did not need to become a princess, just a normal evening dress to blend in and complete the task assigned to you.
Being ignorant about high society or lavish balls, you had asked Rafayel for help. You never expected him to send you such a gorgeous dress.
Indeed, as he predicted, you became the focus of the party as soon as you arrived there.
Each party guest had a mask. Yours arrived in the same color scheme as the dress and was encrusted with opulent pearls and jewels. You wondered why Rafayel was making you look quite distinct. However, you shouldn't have had any reason to doubt him at all when your target moved toward you on his own initiative.
The target of this mission was a high-class profile from another city. Even though you tried your best to focus on the mission, you still wondered if Rafayel came here, or just his work.
The banquet area was adorned with paintings by Rafayel, so it was hard to look at them and not think about him. Had he made it in yet? Would he abandon you here, trapped in a conversation with a stranger?
Using the skill of pretended intimacy in order to obtain information was something you had learned from your training courses. You put a hand on the target's, smiling and talking as if you were fascinated by him. After getting the information you needed, you made an excuse to leave, but it did not appear like things would finish so simply.
He grabbed your wrist and roughly pulled you back to your seat. You shouted, but the music and laughter drowned you out. You aimed at the middle of his face and was about to throw a punch, only to have an arm wrapped over your shoulder and holding your back.
“It seems like this lady doesn't want to be here anymore.”
You knew right away that voice, and that scent were as familiar as a field of wild roses. You turned around and saw Rafayel standing next to you. His hand held your shoulder to help you stand up. Suddenly your heart was filled with joy to see him.
Your target still refused to let go, but when he realized Rafayel's face was not covered by the mask, he knew that was someone he could not meddle with.
He said something to Rafayel in a foreign language and then walked away. You looked at Rafayel, grateful:
“Rafayel…”
Before you finished speaking, you were tugged out of the banquet room by him.
The quiet garden was awakened by the footsteps of two people. From behind, you couldn't see Rafayel's face, only his broad shoulders covered in a dark-colored tuxedo with sequins. You had the strange impression that he was furious. Perhaps it was his pressure that caused your wrist to get crimson. He guided you through a labyrinth of plants and stone sculptures.
“Rafayel.”
He only stopped when you called his name, but still did not turn to look at you. You stepped forward to observe him. You took a step forward to study him. A frown could be seen plainly on his forehead as his face pouted.
“Rafayel? What's the matter?"
His gaze grew gloomy. His hand holding yours tightened even more as he pulled it up to touch his cheek.
“…”
His abrupt movement confused you. He buried his face in your palm, took in a deep breath and gave you a bite.
“Rafayel!”
You let out a cry of surprise instead of agony since the bite was rather faint. He took advantage of your vulnerability to wrap his arms around you, forcing your body to touch his.
His lips placed on your palm a kiss where it had just been bitten, then slid down to your wrist. You made an unsuccessful attempt to flee. He gave you another glance, or rather studied every strand of lace and fabric of the garment that embraced your upper body.
“I made a terrible mistake sending this dress to you. Too graceful. Too desirable…”
The moon, round like a silver disk overhead, provided the sole light in the labyrinth. Rafayel continued to rub his face on your hand, his face appearing and disappearing in an instant.
“He touched you here…” Rafayel whispered. He kissed your wrist and palm again, fiercely like a storm.
“You… What are you doing?…”
Your heart beat was so incessant. It might have been an overdose of alcohol that caused your arms and legs to feel so weak. Rafayel let go of your hand, just to rub his head on your shoulder. His fingers sank into your hair, causing your mask to fall off. You caught his heavy breathing close to your ear, his breath caressing your uncovered neck and collarbone.
“What about here?”
Rafayel asked, then he bit your neck, causing your body to squirm in agony.
“N-No! Rafayel!”
You tried to push him away, but the more you resisted, the more Rafayel tightened his hold on you. His lips sucked into your ear.
"Here?"
“I… I was just talking to him… That's all!”
"Good." He said, leaving your neck covered in crimson kiss marks. Moist. Burning. Exposed under the moonlight. "You won't be touched by that filthy hand ever again. Not in the slightest... I promise it."
A crazy thought suddenly crossed your mind. You had never seen this side of Rafayel. It frightened you, and also invited you to explore further.
“What... are you going to do?…” You asked in a daze. With your head whirling, you sought to Rafayel's powerful arms for support.
“With him? You shouldn't be worried about that guy. What you should be worried about is the things that will happen to you right now.”
“Rafayel, you—!”
He nipped you on the neck, then planted another kiss where he could hear your nearly deranged heartbeat—deeper beneath your collarbone.
You took deep breaths. Rafayel straightened up and gazed down at you, euphoric in his arms. The bite marks and kiss marks were intertwined like a work of art he had left on you. Similar to the garment you were donning, they served as a reminder to others that you belonged to no one, but him.
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𝑿𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒆𝒓
The melodious music led the couples back and forth according to a set pattern. Every step, every movement was perfectly planned. Only eyes were not so easily controlled.
Yes, you had been looking at that man in the white attire ever since the music started and you were escorted to the center. His hair as bright as starlight at night stood out in the ballroom. And no matter where he was, you would find him in a blink. Even with the silver mask covering half of his face.
And, he also looked at you. There was a hint of sorrow and a tinge of rage in his eyes. Did you delude yourself like that? Or was he really looking at you and wishing that the person each of you were guiding through music was the other?
Carelessly, your heel stepped on your partner's foot. You said in embarrassment:
“My apologies… How clumsy I am.”
The man said there was no problem, and you continued dancing. This was the target you must approach for the day's mission. You turned back to face Xavier. He was also leading another person in the dance. Another target.
Due to the importance of this mission, neither you nor Xavier must show any negligence. But in the midst of this lavish masquerade, what you wanted the most was to leap into Xavier's arms. You could dance until dawn, if it was with him.
You forced the stray ideas out of your mind. You needed to focus. Extremely. You turned back to your dance partner, who did not seem to notice anything unusual. You pulled him closer and your hand on his shoulder slid down slightly.
A grin came across his grim mask to greet you. You caught a glimpse of the other side, Xavier's face tightening. Almost at once, his dance partner intentionally fell into his arms.
Fortunately, you had a mask on as well. Otherwise, your unpleasant glance would be visible to everyone in this room, including him.
You leaned your head slightly on your partner's shoulder. But you still kept an eye on Xavier. He was also observing your every move. Every time the other girl became close to Xavier, you did the same thing to your dance partner. This was supposed to be a mission, but it ended up being such a ridiculous competition.
One more dance and you got what you needed from the target. You made up an excuse and sneaked out onto the balcony alone. The starry sky loomed above you, and the aroma of flowers and grass bathed in night dew calmed you down. You removed your mask and set it on the railing. At that moment, a powerful hand was wrapped around your waist and gently squeezed.
You were startled. But immediately, you realized that the hand belonged to Xavier. He was approaching you from behind. He approached you from behind. His breath, which carried the delicate aroma of wine and cinnamon, breathed into your hair, before gradually sliding down the back of your neck, sending you slight trembles.
“Xavier?…What are you doing?…”
The mask he was still wearing tapped against your bare back exposed to the moonlight, causing you to shiver. Gently, Xavier laid kisses on it.
“Xavier!…” Your body was slightly bent, but his hand on your abdomen held you up. His other hand was around your neck, stabilizing you in that posture. A series of hasty kisses covered your back and shoulders. You bit your lip, waiting for him to speak while silently relishing the heated sensation radiating from the places where his lips met.
A little later, the hand holding you eased somewhat. You took that opportunity to turn around to face Xavier.
You could tell, even through the mask, he was hurt. He did not say a word, just looked at you like a puppy abandoned in the rain. You let out a soft sigh, wrapped your arms over his head to remove the mask. You pressed your palm against his cheek.
“Why did you do what you just did…” Your cheeks flushed, and you were certain that your back was now coated with traces of his. Xavier drew you back into his arms, grasping your hips once more.
“This mission…” He paused for a moment. “It's really too much for me.”
“Don't you like it, dancing intimately with such a beautiful girl?”
The scene of him holding someone else in his arms was enough to upset you. But it went both ways to Xavier, who was not able to hold his feelings any longer. To your surprise, he lifted you up and placed you on the railing. You felt guilty for unintentionally triggering Xavier's fury.
"I don't enjoy it one bit." Xavier replied bluntly. “Because, there is only one girl I have my eyes on in this universe and she is right in front of me.” His chilly fingers moved from your hip to your shoulder, then your neck. “I don't want anyone else to touch her.”
Before you could say anything, Xavier clasped your lips in a passionate kiss, sending your head spinning.
“No one else… but me…” Xavier whispered in very short pauses, then buried himself again in your embrace and scorching kisses.
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𝒁𝒂𝒚𝒏𝒆
The high society banquet in Linkon City was truly a remarkable event. You also prepared meticulously for that day, as your latest mission needed you to meet a target at that party.
You had done quite well during the first two hours of the event. You looked graceful in a luxurious, tight-fitting black velvet dress, with long sleeves and a thigh-high slit. You spoke, laughed, drank, and danced with your target, and everything went perfectly until you noticed a familiar figure standing in the corner of the room, observing.
The guests were all wearing masks, and from such a distance, you wondered whether you were wrong. He would dislike such events. But you couldn't shake the feeling that you were being watched, attentively, by someone you knew well.
After completing the mission, you sneaked out through the path least noticed. Your feet hurt from dancing too much in high heels. So you pulled them off and wandered barefoot across the calm garden at night. The dew-soaked grass made your feet chilly, but it also provided a soothing and delightful feeling.
You sat and settled by the fountain. You removed your mask and threw it on the grass next to the shoes. Your feet had begun to swell. You stretched them out, placed your hands on the fountain, and elevated your face, allowing the silver moonlight to beam down on you as you felt relaxed and relieved after finishing your work for the day.
The sound of shoes treading on the grass jolted you awake. When you opened your eyes, you saw a figure standing between you and the moonlight, clothed in a flawlessly fitting black tuxedo. That was who you had suspected all along.
“Zayne?”
You called his name, and he took off his mask.
“It's really you!” You exclaimed, happy and astonished. "I didn't think you would attend events like this."
Zayne's face hardened, indicating seriousness. He examined you thoroughly, from your somewhat unkempt hair to the garment that clung to your body, displaying your curves and the bare thigh beneath it. He gently leaned down, one knee resting on the grass. His chilly palm touched your ankle, startling you.
“Z-Zayne!”
He gave you a glance, implying that you should remain still. His large thumb brushed over the irritated skin on your leg. Cool and comfy, as if being iced. You knew it was Zayne using his Evol.
“Seeing me here, are you surprised?”
You nodded; all words had vanished once Zayne touched you.
“I was invited. If I hadn't come, I probably wouldn't have caught you doing—"
He left the sentence incomplete without glancing at you.
"Caught me doing what?"
"…Nothing."
He tilted down and focused on rubbing your feet with all the gentleness that made you feel both comfortable and tickled.
“I think… my foot is fine now.”
Despite the fact that Zayne's Evol should have kept you cold, your body began to heat up. You were about to alter your posture to sit up straight, but he grabbed your ankle.It appeared so little in his massive, covered in scars hands.
"Be still." He whispered quietly. "Where do you want to go with feet like this?"
"I… have to go back to HQs to report for today's mission…" You made up an excuse. As soon as you left the banquet room, you sent all of the information to the headquarters.
"Mission? Is that the reason why you were intimate with that guy?”
Zayne gazed into your eyes. His face did not exhibit much expression, but his eyes were perplexing. Could it be that he was uncomfortable when he noticed you being close to someone else at the party?
Having hit the nail on the head, you pushed forward. You slipped your bare foot forward until it reached his chest.
"Maybe. But that man was really interesting. He's a doctor, too. Strangely, I was more interested in speaking with him than with some other doctors I knew."
Zayne's expression worsened. His hand shifted from your ankle to your foot, gripping firmly.
"Don't mess with me."
A giggle escaped your so red lips. “Or else? What would Dr. Zayne do to me?”
Zayne frowned. He gazed at your foot, which was still on his body. He softly stroked it and said:
"You're drunk."
"It seems so." You laughed again. Your toes started moving purposely against Zayne's chest. He grabbed them and to your surprise, he placed a kiss on the middle of your feet.
“Zayne!?”
You were so bewildered that you almost fell into the fountain. Zayne grabbed your leg and swiftly positioned his other hand behind you to support your back. Suddenly being so close to each other sent you a panic attack. You sensed a fresh scent like snow and wood emanating from his body. The sound of your heart beating was so loud that he could hear it clearly without a stethoscope.
He glanced at you for a minute before carefully returning to his former posture. His hand left your body, leaving you a little dissatisfied. As if reading you, he leaned forward again. One hand clutched the base of the fountain, exactly near to your hip, and almost immediately, you heard the sound of the water freezing, followed by silence. His other hand kept your leg tight to his torso. Long fingers caressed your calf and thigh. You trembled at the cold he delivered, but it was promptly followed by a tingling sensation throughout your body.
"Do you really like talking to him more than me?"
Zayne asked quietly. The hand that was sliding down your thigh came to a halt at the end of the dress's slit and then tightened, prompting you to cry out unintentionally.
Seeing your helpless reaction and crimson cheeks, a satisfied smile appeared from the corner of Zayne's mouth.
“I guess what you mean to say is, no.”
"You…"
You could feel Zayne's heat wrapping around your legs, in the place where your skin was exposed to the moonlight, then running all over your body. You sat still so he could continue to draw close, his lips gently brushing the corner of your lips provocatively.
“Now you will have to bear the consequences for teasing me.”
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chuulyssa · 5 months
Text
​🇸 ​​🇮​​ 🇹​ ​ 🇴 ​​🇳​ ​🇮 ​​🇹​ !
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BSD MEN REACTING TO YOU ASKING TO SIT ON THEIR FACE.
↷ A/N ─ i love writing these lmk if yall like reading these by liking :D
★ FT. ─ dazai , chuuya , ranpo , akutagawa , fyodor
!! TAGS ─ f!reader, face-sitting, 69, cunnilingus
SMUT, 18+, MDNI
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"can i sit on your face?"
ᴅᴀᴢᴀɪ.
yes yes and YES
you've never seen this man more excited
to think that you were the one who suggested it between you two!
we all know he's a freak
and a master pussy muncher
man's throbbing just hearing those 6 words from your mouth lmaoo
"Aw, would you look at that? This is the third time you've come, bella. Wanna squirt next?" he mocks from under you. "No complaints accepted. You were the one who suggested this."
​ᴄʜᴜᴜʏᴀ.
chokes on his expensive ass wine (iconic)
turns his neck towards you so fast you think he might've snapped it
just stares at you flustered and blushing slightly
stares
stares
still staring
YANKS you and THROWS you onto the bed. yea man, that's defo leaving marks. but its chuuya saurrr 🤷🏻‍♀️
"Guess you really aren't as innocent as I thought you were, eh?" he says teasingly. "My, my, you're on top, yet you're the one dumbfucked. And I haven't even started yet!"
ʀᴀɴᴘᴏ.
rolls his eyes LMFAO
him? abandoning his snacks?? as if
"what's in it for me huh?"
will only accept it if you agree to the 69 position so he gets something in return (man's a giver-taker)
eats you out and takes 2-3 second breaks in between for commentary to update you about how you taste and if it really was worth putting his candy stash down for you
"You think you're sweeter than my candies? Wanna bet?" he raises an eyebrow. "I mean, I already know the answer - you know, the greatest detective in the world and all that. But I'll give you a chance to prove yourself."
ᴀᴋᴜᴛᴀɢᴀᴡᴀ.
he will choke and die so WHY are you suggesting it /j
lets pretend for a moment that he WONT choke and die from the gorgeousness of your ass (love yourself !!)
he's a bit grossed out at the thought. just virgin things ig /j
if he somehow (and idk how) agrees, he'll grip your hips and place you down on his face gently like really really slowly
to the point where you grow impatient and shift so you can toy with his cock
and then that man just snaps and 🤭
"You like that? Is that right? You want more?" he glares at your pussy, heart nearly bursting out of his chest when he hears you pant 'Yes, yes, I love it.'
"Hm. I guess it's okay then."
ꜰʏᴏᴅᴏʀ.
DISGUSTED.
first off how tf is his tired ass anemic body supposed to hold your weight and not die
secondly you're messing with his religious faith!! stop trying to tempt him, satan!
you have to convince him. seduce him on the ultra pro iphone 15 max level.
will ask for a 69 position because ain't no way he's eating you out without getting a bj in return
"Really, now? You're forgetting your part of the deal?" he pats your ass impatiently, your body limp from pleasure and thus unable to give him head in the position. "I guess I'll have to do it myself then."
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© chuulyssa 2024 - do not copy, plagiarize or repost my works on any platforms. do not translate.
956 notes · View notes
a-spes · 6 days
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Hi I was rereading devious lies and I was thinking ab if nat and yn were to meet again and everything, yn would have the biggest trust issued ever. First her best friend took advantage of her and ruined her life, then the ones she considered family turned their backs on her without even letting her explain her side, and ofc how her lover shouted in her face that she's not welcome there anymore and how yn shouldn't even talk with her anymore ever. How the last time the team looked at her it was with anger and dissapointment That and also from the first part where she herself admitted to feeling like a stranger amongst her once friends and family.
Idk what you have in store for us for when you're feeling better and out of the writing block that you're currently experiencing, but I can't wait to read it. Take as long as you need, we're here!
˚   ⋆ ⁺ ₊ ✦ ⁺ ₊   ˚  . ˚ .   ☁ .   .   ˚  ⁺ ₊ ⁺ ✦ 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖘 𝖎𝖓 𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖘 ₊ .   ˚ . ✧ ⁺ ✦ ₊    ☁ ˚  . ⁺ ₊ ✧ ˚  .    ˚  ⁺ ₊ ˚
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₊ ⁺ ✦ ₊    ☁  ˚  .  ⁺ ₊ ✧ ˚   .    ˚ ˚  . ☁ ˚  . ˚   ✩ ₊ ˚ . ☾ ⋆ ⁺ ₊ ✧     ˚ ⁺
˚  . ⤳ DEVIOUS LIES — Bonus part, 'the scars in our hearts' (6.280 words).
⋆ ⁺ ₊ ✧ ⤳ SUMMARY — Anon request — “ It has been years since the events, and when you eventually got the chance to go back with them, you thought everything would be the way it used to be. except it wasn't. three years, almost four, is a lot of time, and the people you used to know and the building you called your home do not feel the same anymore. Maybe you've been gone for too long to hope to find a place in their new life. ”
. ☁ ˚ ⤳ TAGS & WARNINGS — Natasha Romanoff x Reader, Avenger!Reader, Female!Reader, Other Avengers x Reader (brief mention of them). Bittersweet, (kind of) angst with comfort. Self-doubt, mental health issues, mention of bad coping mechanisms, toxic relations.
˚ . ⤳ MOODBOARD ⊱⋆⊰ MASTERLIST ⊱⋆⊰ TO SAY SOMETHING ✦ Part one. Part two. Part three. ⊱⋆⊰ the scars in our hearts.
˚   ⋆ ⁺ ₊ ✦ ⁺ ₊   ˚  . ˚ .   ☁ .   .   ˚  ⁺ ⁺ ✦ ₊    ☁ ˚  . ⁺ ₊ ✧ ˚  .    ˚  ⁺ ₊
You’ve been told that you just needed a bit of time to adjust, because you come a long way, but they didn’t say how long ‘a bit of time’ was. So the months passed, they soon became years, and if you’ve still made no progress, you kept hoping. Every day, you repeat yourself that you only need ‘a bit more of time’ and that, soon, with just a little extra effort, everything will eventually be fine. 
Except that you’ve never been a patient person.
They made it sound easy. They made you believe that everything would go back to the way it used to be in weeks, and you’ve fallen for their sweet words because you were craving for them to be true. You have dreamed of that moment, and every day you’ve spent far from them was spent thinking about the day they would ask you to come back. It is a little fantasy you’ve been holding on to for the past few years, but the tears, hugs, and excuses you’ve spent hours to imagine never became a reality. No, you only got silent glances.
It has been almost three years since you came back, and it still wasn’t enough. Sometimes, you think about letting go of that dream of yours, the one that makes you believe that things could still get back to normal, even when nothing was —; but how could you do something like that? How could you possibly think about abandoning them again when they’ve been willing to give you a second chance? You weren’t ready yet to accept that the home you’ve been longing to return didn’t feel like it anymore, at least not without first trying your hardest to make things right. Thus you kept pushing yourself a bit more everyday, at the cost of your health — which seemed a very small price to pay in exchange for the feeling of being at home again.
Two years is not a lot of time in a human life but these years still felt like an eternity to you, and you’ve never been so aware of how long they have been as when you came back, realizing the gap that had opened up between you and the others. Your life has fallen apart that day, leaving you with such small pieces of yourself that you weren’t able to rebuild on your own —; but them? It is as if they’ve lost nothing. They’ve spent those two years building a life in which you’ve never existed, one that you are now supposed to find a place in. Every day is just a painful reminder of what you have lost, and will never get back despite your hopes. Your dream slipped away just when you touched it with your fingertips.
You have to accept that you are not a part of the system anymore, you are just the pebble that derails the machine, and that ruins everything —; but you should be used to it, shouldn’t you? To that feeling of shame and sorrow that your heart has been carrying for years, that feeling of failure and permanent disappointment.
Some nights, out of habit, you push the wrong door, and you find yourself in the room you used to share with Natasha. Once full of life, it had now become austere. Yet, there is something comforting about being in that room full of old memories, it is a bittersweet feeling that’s both like a heartbreak and a warm hug. You've never been much of a drinker, or at least you've always been careful enough not to get wasted. But you’ve made an exception tonight, because everything seemed to be too much, and you wouldn’t have survived the party if you hadn’t drowned everything in alcohol.
It is the way they kept laughing that got on your nerves, jealousy rising inside of you every time a new joke was told that you couldn’t understand “because you weren’t here” —; but Wanda wasn’t here either, and yet, she laughed along with them, why? Because she hasn’t lost her place with them, she is still a part of the family. They promised that they would tell their stories and explain their jokes later, because it was too long to do it now, but you were aware that it was just a lie to give you the impression that you weren’t on the sidelines.
It wasn’t very effective.
They spent the whole night telling stories that you couldn’t understand and sharing jokes you couldn’t laugh at, and while they remembered things that you didn’t have a chance to live by their side, giving you an overview of all the things you’ve missed, you were silently sitting on the couch, trying to ignore the knot in your throat. You didn’t even try to take part in the conversation —; what could you possibly have said anyway? You are not sure they would have wanted to hear about how miserable your life was when you were gone, how lonely and desperate you’ve been during these years. It would be an admission that you missed them, needed them.
Instead you kept your attention on the bottles of alcohol, at least they would never let you down —; that’s the advantage when the parties are organized by someone like Tony: you will never run out of booze. You were so uninvolved in what was going on around you, that you missed the worried glances that Natasha and Wanda shared, and they didn’t need to talk to understand each other, to know that they both had the same concerns.
Everyone does, but you’ve made it clear in your first few weeks back that you didn’t want their pity. There was no comfort in the way they looked at you and, quickly, their presence became too much. They were always there, never letting you completely alone despite the appearance and trying to meet your needs before you could even ask, pretending that they knew better than you do —; but they don’t. They have no idea of what you need, because how could they when you’re not even sure yourself?
The loneliness you’ve asked for isn’t more comforting, but at least it comes with familiar feelings, some that you’ve learned how to deal with the past few years. On the contrary, you still hadn’t gotten used to their presence, and you had no idea of how to deal with these contradictory feelings that were starting to grow inside of yourself. While a part of you wanted to lean in their embrace, the other rejected their overwhelming affection. A way of protecting yourself that won out, taking the form of uncontrolled anger and, after days of being yelled at and random objects being thrown at their faces, they’ve eventually got the hint that they should let you alone.
They’ve given up on you —; but that’s exactly what you wanted, isn’t it? 
You can’t be sure, but you are trying to convince yourself that it is better that way. You’re not worth the trouble, and they definitely can’t spend all their energy trying to save you when people are actually dying outside. You would be fine, you would get through it —; right? Because that’s what you’ve always done, and there is no reason that this time would be any different —; you are strong, with or without them by your side. You just need a little bit of time for your scars to heal and then, everything will be back the way it used to be. 
Except that, despite the appearances, those thoughts never really left your mind. Sometimes, you think about your return and what would have happened if they hadn’t found you that day —; maybe everything would have been easier. For you, sure, but also for them. You are not even sure they would have accepted your return if they had a choice —; you wouldn’t have. At least when you weren't there, there wasn't that constant tension that now reigned over the tower, one that followed you into every room you set foot in. 
So you’ve made a decision —; you would rebuild yourself without them. You would make a new name for yourself, a new life, even if it means leaving them behind. There is this growing will deep inside you, the one that feeds off your anger and jealousy, and it’s the one to get your revenge. You want them to suffer as much as you have, to realize what they’ve done, and regret every of their actions. You want them to crawl back at your feet, begging for your forgiveness because you are tired of being the only one to make efforts.
You have waited so long for them to say or do the right thing, but the moment has never come because they can’t possibly understand your situation, let alone knowing what you really need to get better —; how could they when you ignore it too? Nothing feels right anymore. You have tried a lot of things but nothing works. Your life is now like a jigsaw puzzle whose pieces refuse to fit together. There is no way to make things go back the way they were, you could only keep on pretending. 
And so you did, locking yourself into a routine. Each day you alternate between training, going on missions or attending meetings, leaving yourself little free time. This hectic schedule has the advantage of allowing you to avoid the presence of others and keeping you from thinking too much while making you more efficient —; it is perfect, isn’t it? It is, most of the time but, some days, the illusion falters, and the facade you’ve built shatters, revealing the truth you are trying to hide.
That’s how you found yourself stumbling into your old bedroom, the one that now smells of dust, desperate for some comfort and familiarity. You didn’t even make it to the bed, falling miserably asleep on the carpet —; you didn’t have the strength to get up when you tripped over your own feet, too drunk to take more than a few clumsy steps.
⊱ ★ ⊰
There is only one person in the team who is willing to give you the space you asked for without agreeing to give up on you yet —; and it is Natasha.
You may not notice it, but the woman has always been here for you since you came back to live with them. It must be said that her gestures are minute, almost imperceptible, but they always manage to draw a slight smile on your lips without you realizing it —; she was perfectly aware that if you knew it was from her, you would start hating on those little things that made your daily life at the tower a little sweeter.
She is the one who always accidentally cooks more food than she needed, making sure there was always a portion waiting for you in the fridge. She is the one who makes sure that your favorite cutlery is always clean. She is the one who buys your favorite flowers to put them in the common room’s vase and never lets them fester. She is the only one who has taken the time to make you feel at home with a bunch of details that are so insignificant that you’ve barely noticed them.
But at least it helped soothe the guilt her heart carried, because these actions are proof that she was fulfilling the promises she had made to you a long time ago, in the secrecy of the night, under a starry sky, whispered words that has been immediately blown away by the wind —; “I’ll always be there for you,” she had said. “Promise?” you’ve asked, your eyes full of hope. “Promise,” she had replied before your lips touched, sealing the contract.
One she broke years ago, when she dragged you out of the tower without letting you a chance to explain yourself. The woman is perfectly aware that flowers and some meals won’t be enough to earn your forgiveness, but she still made it her mission to look after you from afar —; because if she doesn’t, who would? You don’t let anyone get close to you, and the others haven’t looked any further, giving up at the first sign of trouble. She doesn’t blame you for not trusting her, or the other members of the team, she just wishes that you would accept at least one of their helping hands. 
But you’ve rejected everyone. 
Even Wanda, with whom you seemed, at one time, to be getting on well which had given the redhead hope. Those hopes had been shattered the day you violently pushed the witch away without any clear explanation, and the woman blames herself for that, for not knowing what to do in order to help you —; because she should know, right? That’s her role, the promise she had made years ago.
If she can’t, if no one can, what will you become?
You may be able to fool everyone, including yourself, into thinking that you are fine, but you won’t get her to fall for your little tricks. She knows the truth. She can see it in your fake smiles, she can read it in your tired eyes. She knows you by heart, she hasn’t forgotten those years spent by your side, and she has become a master at spotting your bad habits and the sublet signs that accompany them. 
So, tonight, she couldn't have possibly missed how firm your grip has been on the bottles of alcohol, nor how quiet you've been the whole time. But it is only when she saw the door to your old bedroom ajar that she understood the extent of your pain. You were hitting rock bottom, you would have never set foot in this room full of memories otherwise. She knew this because she, too, avoided it like the plague, and hadn’t dared return in it since that day, not even to empty it. For five years, it had remained the same.
The woman is willing to give you the space you asked for as long as you are taking care of yourself, it is the silent promise she made, but it is obvious that you have failed to do so lately as she has seen you slowly falling back into your old habits. The ones she thought you had left behind, the ones she had helped you to overcome years ago. She is ready to accept that you could build a life without her, it is a cost worth paying if it’s the one to your happiness, but you haven’t built anything lately. Nor have you been happy, and she couldn’t bear anymore the sight of you destroying yourself, again.
The redhead is tired of the situation. She is annoyed that everyone is playing your games by pretending that everything is fine because it only encourages you down this dangerous path, one that may cost your life one day. She is angry with anyone who takes the easy way out, because it is obvious that it is easier to act as if all that history belonged to the past rather than acknowledge their mistakes.
At first, she had agreed to play along, but it was only because she thought that it was what you needed and that, when you were ready, you would talk to them. Except that it has been a bit more than two years, almost three, since they brought you back, and you still haven’t told a word about it. The woman didn’t know how long she would be able to put up with your silence on this story and your obvious discomfort.
But it seems that the sight of you asleep on the dusty carpet of the room you once shared was the last straw for the woman who decided to step in. You are probably going to hate her tomorrow, but she doesn’t care —; she is not even sure you could possibly hate her more than you already do. She would rather know that you are safe, even if it means losing you a little more so she decides to call your name multiple times.
It is the sound of her voice who wakes you up. It doesn’t matter how deeply asleep you were because you can’t ignore her when she practically screams out your name, and you are inevitably roused from your slumber. When you opened your eyes, a growl escaping your lips to signal your displeasure, all you could see was a blurred figure with red hair that could only belong to one person. One you could recognize anywhere.
‘What are you doing?’ she asked, a mixture of annoyance and concern tinged her voice, but you weren’t aware enough of your surroundings to notice it. Maybe if your hand hadn’t been so heavy on the alcohol, then you would have noticed the tone of her voice.
‘I am sleeping, can’t you see?’ you grumbled, but as soon as the words escaped your mouth, the frustration was replaced by a laugh —; this question was stupid, you realize. Isn’t she supposed to be a trained spy, and one of the best, too? Then why couldn’t she see what was right in front of her? Something that obvious? 
Maybe she doesn’t know either because your question is followed by silence. Her only answer has been to sigh and pinch the bridge of her nose. It was going to be a long night, she already knew it, but wasn’t sure she had the energy to deal with that.
‘Come here,’ you said when the woman didn’t react. Your words were accompanied by the gesture of grabbing her arm in order to pull her toward you, the woman losing her balance because of the surprise. 
Since she had found you, you had never asked for her presence. On the contrary, you had rejected and hated her. At best, you would tolerate her presence, but only when your job didn’t give you a choice, and so this sudden change in your behavior disconcerted her, especially the laugh that escaped your lips when she fell on top of you —; it is a sound that she has never thought she would hear again. So pure, so sincere.
‘Get up,’ she coldly says, not amused at all by your little games. If circumstances had been different, she probably would have found your attitude endearing and stayed a little longer in your arms. Except there was nothing healthy about this sudden closeness after months of hatred, so the woman immediately got up, inviting — ordering — you to do the same —; the sooner she puts you to bed, the sooner she can get back to hers.
Tonight, she had no patience. The woman was exhausted, and frustrated —; you weren’t the only one to suffer from the situation. She knows that your clinging state is just an illusion, the result of the alcohol you’ve ingested, and that the very next day you’re going to hate her again. If she wanted nothing more than to believe everything would be okay now, and to find comfort in your arms, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Not when she knew she would lose it all again at sunrise. This scene is only a chimera, a reminder of what she had lost several years earlier as the result of her own actions.
If anything happens tonight, you would both regret it. Nothing can come from the actions of two tipsy and exhausted people. Except that your mind wasn’t clear enough to realize it, and all you could think about in that moment was how you were craving for Natasha’s attention. You wanted her to wrap her arms around you and whisper that everything will be fine now, because she is here. You wanted her to promise to never let you down, again. Even if it is a lie. Even if, one day, she will abandon you again —; because that’s what they all do despite the promises, isn’t it? At that moment, you didn’t care about the lies, you just wanted something to hold onto, just an ounce of comfort.
‘I caaaaaan’t,’ you whined, but you didn’t even try to do so. When you stretch out your arms towards the redhead, she gets the hint that you’re expecting her to help you, which she does. The woman knows how stubborn you can be so she grabs your hands and pulls you on your feet, sighing.
Except that you seem to find the idea of testing the limits of her kindness particularly amusing because you make no effort to pull yourself upright, or to stand on your feet —; or maybe you were just that wasted. You’re barely standing when you fall forward, leaving no choice to the woman who has to catch you before you hit the ground.
‘Got you,’ you whispered, a grin on your face, when you felt her arms around your waist.
The thought of dropping you crossed her mind, but all she did was to playfully roll her eyes. The woman should be annoyed by the situation —; right? But how could she when you are so adorable? It has been a long time since she last saw such a peaceful expression on your face. Your eyes were half closed, you looked as if you were about to fall asleep in her arms, and there was a faint smile on your lips. You seemed so content, nestled in her arms with your cheek pressed against her chest, that she hardly dared to move, fearing to break this well-deserved moment of peace. For a moment, it was as if nothing had happened, and the sorrow on your face had dissipated, giving way to a childlike insouciance —; a sight that made her heart melt.
You are the one who broke the silence first.
‘I’ve missed you..,’ you whispered. A confession so unexpected that the woman is not sure if she had understood your words. When her eyes looked down, searching for yours, you hadn’t moved, your eyes still closed. It was almost as if you hadn’t spoken, and that the words had been nothing more than a figment of her imagination. 
‘Me too,’ she softly replied and, maybe, if you had opened your eyes at that moment, you would have noticed the tears that clouded hers — but you couldn’t do that, because you don’t want her to see the tears that you are trying to hold back, right? The one that would just run down your cheeks the moment you open your eyes. 
‘Please, stay with me tonight,’ you asked —; no, you begged. You’ve lifted your head until your eyes finally meet hers, both were shining with the tears that threatened to fall —; you are the first one to give in.
The mere thought of Natasha leaving you was enough to shatter your last ramparts. You have just regained her embrace, you don’t want to be forced to leave her now, not after so many years of hoping to regain the comfort you thought you had lost forever. You have been too stubborn to admit that you needed help, and so you’ve spent years pushing everyone away, thinking that you didn’t deserve their affection. It has been so long that you can’t even remember the last time someone held you this way, with such delicacy and care.
It gave you hope. The one that, maybe, for at least one night, things could be the way they used to be —; just tonight, or even just a few hours. You just want that moment to last a little longer, you don’t want to spend another night alone in your bed, in your cold and austere bedroom with a depressing atmosphere. You want more than that, you want a reason to stay, a reason to try again, and to get up tomorrow —; you want Natasha back. You want your old life back.
Except that the woman won’t give in. It is not that she doesn’t want to, on the contrary, she shares the same wishes that you, but her mind is clear, and she knows that nothing good would come out of it —; you can’t get back to what you used to have. You can’t change the past, nor can you pretend it doesn’t exist.
‘I can’t..,’ she softly replied after a second of silence that marked her hesitation, ‘you know that baby, we both,’ she added, the nickname naturally escaping her lips when she noticed that more tears were threatening to fall from your eyes. 
She wants to say yes, you can read it in her eyes, hear it in her silences —; then why doesn’t she say it? Why does she keep pushing you away when you are eventually ready for her to be back? Isn’t what she has wanted when she spent all those months begging you to accept her help? It is, but she didn’t want it that way, she didn’t want to take advantage of a moment of weakness on your part. She wanted to earn your forgiveness, to show you that you could trust her again, and if she had to work every day until she dies to achieve that goal, then she would do it. 
‘Why not?’ you immediately asked back, ‘you are here, and so am I, and- and our bed is waiting for us,’ you started rambling. You couldn’t speak clearly, the words racing through your head as you tried to convince her, but you knew it was a losing battle. You were so desperate that your hands clung tightly to the fabric of her shirt, as if it could be enough to stop her from leaving. ‘Please,’ you begged once more when she didn’t react. At this point, your voice was nothing more than a broken whisper, ‘just for tonight, we could pre~’ 
‘Pretend that nothing has happened?’ she softly asked, finishing your sentence, and all you could do was nodding. ‘But you know we can’t do that baby,’ she said, hating the way you were looking at her with so much hope, as if you thought that one night in her arms could ease all your problems —; but it can’t. It won’t. 
As she talks, one of her hands tucks a lock of your hair behind your ears. The touch is so gentle that you can resist, and lean into her embrace. The feeling of her hand caressing your head leaves too soon for your liking. 
‘Sometimes, I wish that we could,’ you replied, ‘that I could either forget everything, or go back in time to make everything right,’ you confided in her, sharing your thoughts with someone for the first time.
The words have barely crossed the barrier of your lips that you crumble, because you realize that this wish will never come true. You can no longer hold back your tears, you can only hide your face in the hollow of her neck, hoping she won’t see those. Only, each of your sobs shakes your body so violently that anyone could understand your state in one glance. The woman doesn’t know what to do so she cautiously wraps her arms around you and cradles your body in an attempt to sooth your sobs —; it’s the least she can do.
‘You’ve done nothing wrong, love, nothing was your fault,’ she whispered, and you can hear that her voice is feverish —; she, too, is holding back tears. She can’t bear to see you like this. ‘I am sorry, so sorry,’ she added while she rocks you slowly. Those words weren’t for tonight, and how she had to refuse your proposal, but they were for everything that has happened since that day. Those excuses were for all the things she has done or said since but, most importantly, for all the things she didn’t have the courage to do and the ones she couldn’t. 
⊱ ★ ⊰
The following morning, you’re woken up by Jarvis, his voice echoing through the room, terribly loud and impossible to ignore. A grunt escapes your lips, you were hoping for a few more hours of sleep —; or best, for an eternal slumber. The night before, like the rest of the team, you went to bed late, and the quantities of alcohol ingested are definitely not helping with your condition because you were the victim of a terrible headache. Only, it is impossible for you to ignore Jarvis’ voice. He has been calling your name over and over again for several minutes now, trying to get the attention you are trying to not give him —; but even with your hands covering your ears, his voice would pierces your eardrums.
‘You are not answering me, miss y/n,’ he stated the obvious, ‘do you want me to warn the others that you are sick? My sensors indicate tha~’
‘Please, Jarvis, shut up,’ you mumble, still managing to be polite despite the rising frustration, and you really hope it will be enough for him to leave you alone —; but anyone who knows the AI knows that these hopes are in vain. 
Nonetheless, you have to admit that he is right about one thing: you are not feeling so good —; but who would after attending one of Stark’s parties? He always says that if your head is not sore and your throat is not burning the next day, then you haven’t enjoyed yourself enough. Surely you have enjoyed enough to last a lifetime, although you are not naive enough to swear to never touch a bottle again in your life. Yet, you’ve thought of it for an instant, the lingering nausea making you regret your actions because it gave you the unpleasant feeling that you might throw up at any time.
God, you were weak. So weak that everything was feeling too much right now, even the faint sunlight making its way into your room —; it makes you want to bury yourself alive to avoid all these sensations, and to die. Except you can’t because you have a mission that is scheduled for today and, if you don’t show up soon, they will come looking for you, which is the last thing you want. You have spent weeks preparing for that, you definitely can’t let them down now, especially not because you are just too stupid to know your limits.
You have abandoned them once, you won’t make the same mistake a second time. They won’t be so forgiving this time, no one forgives someone who does the same mistake twice —; no one gives a second chance to traitors. It has been several years since you came back, but you still feel like you are on probation and you need to prove to them that they can count on you. You can sense their hesitation to trust you, even though they insist that everything is fine —; pretending that everything is the way it used to be. It is their new favorite game, but you hate it. Y
et, you don’t have much choice but to play by their rules.
‘Are you sure? Becaus~’ 
‘I said, shut. the. fuck. UP!’ you yelled, not giving him to finish his sentence, already reaching the limits of your patience, ‘what’s so difficult to understand in those two words?’ you growled in frustration, and you can’t help but throw a pillow at the walls. The gesture is useless because it doesn’t even manage to ease the tension you feel, nor does it convince Jarvis that he needs to stop talking because he starts lecturing you about your actions. 
Actually, the only way you have found to shut him up was to get up and join the others for breakfast. Fortunately, only Tony and Steve were there. They are the ones you are going on mission with today, and that’s what they were talking about before you entered the room.  Even though you would rather stay alone, talking about missions is something you can do with little effort because it is easy. You need your brain, but you can turn off your emotions. You do not have to worry about saying the wrong thing or how to avoid an uncomfortable silence. It is familiar, and comforting. It has been a while since you've been sitting at this table talking about something else —; when you are not talking about work, you stay silent. It seems that you have forgotten how to interact with them during those years. 
As they go through the details of the mission one last time, you are playing with your breakfast, not interested in the oat flakes floating in your milk, nor in their voices that forms a dull hum in the background, their words not even reaching your ears —; because you are thinking, your eyebrows furrowed with worry. Except that your state isn’t caused by the reasons they think it is, neither the alcohol nor the mission are in your mind, only a certain spy with whom you shared a moment last night. One you would rather forget because the simple thought of the thing you have said, and done, is enough to fill you with rage and embarrassment.
‘Hi to the moon, here the earth,’ Tony said, snapping his fingers in front of your face to get your attention, ‘were you even listening to us?’ he sighed, but you don’t notice any annoyance in his voice. Only a sickening worry that you can read in his eyes, a feeling that he doesn’t share and doesn’t hide very well. You hate it, when they look at you that way, as if you could break at any moment, as if they needed to be careful —; but you can take it. You can take everything, and you definitely do not need their permanent protection. 
‘No, sorry, I was lost in my thoughts,’ you admitted, giving him a smile that I hoped to be convincing enough to reassure him.
‘Do not worry, everything is going to be fine, okay? We will be here to make sure of that,’ Steve intervened, trying to reassure you about what he thought was the cause of your worries, but his tone didn’t feel comforting to you. If anything, it made you grit your teeth and clench your hand harder around your spoon, increasing your irritation. You don’t really know why, but Steve has been the hardest to get along with since you have come back, maybe it is because of his seemingly false sympathy. 
‘Thank you,’ you managed to mumble, even though you don’t really mean it —; it was still better than the snide comment that made its way in your mind. You even made the effort to smile, one that anyone could see as fake, but not Steve, because he never really pays attention to the others.
The words burn on the tip of your tongue, and you have to bite it to not shout out to him what you are really thinking. You want nothing more than to tell him that you are as capable as anyone around this table. You have proven yourself over the last few months, succeeding in every mission they have given you, what more do you need to do for them to have faith in your abilities again? Reach for the moon? Because you are ready to do it if that’s the price to pay. You are desperate enough to do anything they would ask. 
In reality, you are not worried at all about the upcoming mission because that is not a possibility. You don’t fail, ever, and if you need to give pieces of yourself and mind in order to complete a mission, then you are ready to do it without flinching. 
No, your thoughts were occupied by something else —; or someone else. Something that was more difficult to manage because there is no guide to follow. This person is Natasha, and the cause of your worries is the moment you shared last night because you have no explanation for what happened —; you thought she hated you, and that you hated her. Aren’t you both supposed to despise each other for the pain you’ve caused? Then why do some of you still yearn for her presence? Why didn’t she reject you and, instead, decided to take care of your mess? This even wasn’t meant to be. The redhead is the last person that should have witnessed you in such a vulnerable state, and yet she is the one you have sought attention from, the only one you needed last night —; and you hate that. You hate how your feelings are still the same even after so many years.
That is exactly why, the second the woman that is haunting your thoughts stepped in the room, you left it, pretending that you needed to get ready for the mission. There is no way that the way you walked out of the room, leaving your untouched breakfast behind you, didn’t bring questions to their minds but you were long gone before any of them could say something.
˚   ⋆ ⁺ ₊ ✦ ⁺ ₊   ˚  . ˚ .   ☁ .   .   ˚  ⁺ ⁺ ✦ ₊    ☁ ˚  . ⁺ ₊ ✧ ˚  .    ˚  ⁺ ₊
˚ . ⤳ MOODBOARD ⊱⋆⊰ MASTERLIST ⊱⋆⊰ TO SAY SOMETHING ✦ Part one. Part two. Part three. ⊱⋆⊰ the scars in our hearts.
. ☁ ˚ ⤳ TAG LIST — @cd-4848, @chocolatestrawberrykryptonite, @escapereality4music, @fxckmiup, @gemz5, @jusnough, @m0nsterqzzz, @marvelwomenarehot0, @mrsrushman, @riyaexee, @takeyaki, @taliiiaasteria.
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barnacles34 · 14 days
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Only You (Ryujin x Male Reader)
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Tags: 12k, Obedient Ryujin, Smut, Smut with Plot, Mutual Pining, Reunion, Existential Crisis, Confident Protagonist, Emotional Complexity, Exploration of Idol Work Culture, Mild Alcoholism
This is kind of a prequel to Beautiful Relationship, I even wrote this one before Beautiful Relationship (thus the quality, I believe, is worse), but all my smuts (foreshadowing) are stand-alone. I tried editing this to the best of my ability, hopefully it is as well received as Beautiful Relationship.
---
The labyrinthine corridors of Samsen Company echo with the whispers of a typical blood feud, a battle for majority stock that has raged pointlessly. And yet, I stand atop this corporate Olympus, an adopted child of supposedly 'middling' potential, now orchestrating a behemoth bureaucracy from the confines of a messy, decrepit office room in my sprawling estate. The irony isn't lost on me that only the office room nearest the entrance truly feels like home.
My 26th birthday dawned, a day that should have been a personal milestone, instead became a crucible of insufferable drama. My 'brothers,' those parasitic entities I can barely stomach, the sycophantic beggars I despise, and the so-called friends whose very presence grates on my nerves – all converged like vultures to a carcass. As I extricate myself from my forcibly invaded sanctuary, I allow my gaze to drift over the manicured landscape, pointedly ignoring the fumbling private investigators who've abandoned all pretense of subtlety in their ravenous pursuit of compromising intelligence.
I exist in a state of emotional limbo – neither depressed nor elated. I've reached the zenith of my capabilities, my natural introversion honed into a weapon of corporate warfare. The room I've claimed as my citadel, locked against all intrusion, is the crucible where I forged my majority ownership of Samsen. It's my den, my haven, the only place where the cacophony of the outside world fades to a bearable whisper.
I don't venture out for something as mundane as a cigarette or to ruminate on 'innovative' ideas (a laughable concept – my success stems not from innovation but from an uncanny ability to accumulate and wield power). No, as I step beyond my threshold, my mind is a tabula rasa, momentarily free from the incessant calculations that usually occupy it. Yet, as the cool air hits my face, I find myself inadvertently delving into the labyrinth of my past, present, and the myriad potential futures stretching before me. Some intangible force, a siren call I can neither name nor resist, beckons me towards the unknown, towards a life I've never dared to imagine.
---
The memory of my adoption by Mishima, the venerable chairman of Samsen, surfaces unbidden. I was 14, newly orphaned, my parents having departed this mortal coil in quick succession. Mishima's explanation for taking me in was deceptively simple – right time (he was pushing 70), right place (his hometown), and a third reason uttered so softly it's become a lifelong enigma, a puzzle I still turn over in my mind during sleepless nights.
Our relationship defied easy categorization. He was never a father figure, more a mentor, a guiding star in the treacherous waters of corporate politics. When I aced the aptitude tests and CSAT, I put on a show of wanting to enlist in the military before settling into a cozy Samsen sinecure. But it was all smoke and mirrors, a carefully crafted lie concealing my true ambition – to ascend to the executive echelons of Samsen.
Mishima, ever the puppet master, saw through my machinations instantly. With a smile that seemed to hold the wisdom of ages, he said, "Before you become an executive, you should get better at lying in people's faces." That night, I was christened as an Executive-to-be, my position awaiting me post-military service.
But even my Machiavellian mind couldn't have predicted the earthquake that was Mishima's inheritance letter. To be named heir-apparent alongside my two 'brothers' sent shockwaves through the Eastern hemisphere. An adopted child, thrust into the limelight, my past carefully obfuscated by my new family to mask the true extent of my capabilities.
---
As the memories fade, I find myself pondering the possibility that I'm not just tired of work, but of the very fabric of my existence. I crave a distraction so profound it would eclipse even the most insufferable company. With a decision born of impulse rather than reason, I orchestrate a day of frivolity.
The following morning finds me chauffeured to a waterpark I've rented for my exclusive use. The experience proves disappointingly hollow, each splash and slide a stark reminder of the void within. Undeterred, I embark on a frenetic tour of Seoul, each new locale failing to scratch the existential itch that seems to grow with every passing moment.
---
It's in this state of restless dissatisfaction that a name bubbles up from the recesses of my memory – Ryujin. The mere thought of her sends an unfamiliar tremor through my usually imperturbable demeanor. We were inseparable once, the suburbs of Seoul our playground, our bond seemingly unbreakable. But that was before the adoption, before life carved its divergent paths for us.
Twelve years have passed, each of us climbing our respective mountains of success. Yet, as I stand before the stadium, a maelstrom of emotions I thought long buried threatens to overwhelm me. I'm almost late, almost nervous, almost... happy? The unfamiliarity of the sensation is both thrilling and terrifying.
My arrival causes the expected commotion, ripples of shock spreading through the crowd like wildfire. But for once, I find I don't care about the attention. My focus narrows to a singular purpose – watching ITZY perform. After an eternity of jostling bodies and exclamations of surprise, I'm finally ensconced in my front-row seat, an island of luxury hastily constructed amidst the chaos.
As I settle into the chair, the full weight of my nervousness becomes palpable. Every sensation is heightened – the plush fabric beneath my fingers, the unyielding rigidity of the table before me, the oppressive weight of the air in this crowded arena. My usual mask of indifference slips, revealing a vulnerability I thought I'd long since excised.
---
The performance unfolds like a fever dream, a symphony of movement and sound that both captivates and unsettles me. I watch the ITZY members with a mixture of admiration and envy – their fierce dedication to their craft, the seamless fusion of dance, visuals, and music. It's a spectacle that should fill me with satisfaction, yet I'm left with a lingering sense of disappointment. The void within remains stubbornly unfilled.
As the final notes fade and the crowd's roar subsides, I find myself rooted to my seat, mind whirling. The luxurious leather suddenly feels like a straitjacket, the weight of my position as an executive a millstone around my neck. I'm struck by the absurd thought that this gnawing emptiness might be nothing more than a placebo effect, a phantom pain born from the crucible of my nightmarish birthday and the constant strain of tolerating those I despise.
My reverie is interrupted by the approach of a man who exudes an air of exaggerated politeness. He relays an invitation to the ITZY dressing rooms with such ceremony you'd think he was delivering a royal decree. Something inside me snaps – the carefully constructed facade of the 'genius' executive crumbles, revealing the raw, emotionally stunted individual beneath. I ignore the man, my feet carrying me towards the dressing rooms of their own volition. My mind, usually a finely tuned instrument of analysis, now overclocks, dissecting every possible outcome of this impulsive action.
The journey through the backstage labyrinth is a sensory assault. The suffocating atmosphere of the stadium gives way to a cloying sweetness that grows more potent with each step. I follow this olfactory breadcrumb trail, my heart thundering in my chest with an intensity that would alarm me if I weren't so single-mindedly focused on my goal.
At last, I stand before the door. My knuckles barely graze the surface before it swings open, revealing a stunningly beautiful woman with vibrant orange hair. Her eyes widen in recognition, a mix of excitement and trepidation evident in her voice as she exclaims, "Welcome Koji-nim!"
I mumble pleasantries, feeling suddenly out of my depth as I step into the room. The ITZY members, now dressed in casual attire, bow nervously, their practiced professionalism cracking under the weight of my unexpected presence. But all of this fades to background noise as my eyes lock onto Ryujin.
She bows with a grace that belies her nervousness, her doe-like eyes carefully avoiding my intense gaze. Her black hair, still damp from the performance, frames her face in a way that speaks of careful styling even in its apparent dishevelment. Her skin, a creamy canvas that seems to glow with the lingering energy of her performance, peeks through the airy, wrinkled fabric of her clothes. The subtle interplay of concealment and revelation is mesmerizing.
I'm vaguely aware that I'm staring, my pupils dilated to the point where the other members exchange confused glances, uncertain of the sudden tension in the room. But Ryujin knows. She feels the weight of my gaze, understands the unspoken currents of our shared history.
"Ryujin," I breathe, the name a prayer and a curse on my lips.
She finally meets my eyes, a maelstrom of emotions swirling in their depths. "Koji... it's been a long time."
The air crackles with unspoken words, shared memories, and the weight of twelve years of silence. The other members watch our interaction with a mixture of confusion and fascination, sensing the undercurrents but unable to decipher their meaning.
As the initial shock wears off, we fall into a semblance of normalcy. Pleasantries are exchanged, names are shared, and I find myself being drawn into the warm camaraderie of the group. They reveal their upcoming monthly break, a respite after their grueling world tour. My limited knowledge of the K-pop world extends only to the scandals of overwork, so I find myself oddly relieved at the thought of their well-deserved rest.
The conversation meanders, touching on various topics, until it culminates in an unexpected invitation to join their world tour celebration. I accept without hesitation, surprising even myself with my eagerness.
As we make our way to the celebration venue, carefully avoiding main roads to evade the ever-present threat of paparazzi and private investigators, I find myself ruminating on the absurdity of my situation. I, Koji, possibly the busiest person in the world, yet somehow finding time for everything. The irony isn't lost on me.
The fear of private investigators that once plagued me now seems almost laughable. I've become so entrenched in South Korea's infrastructure that any move against me would be tantamount to domestic terrorism – or so the political board assures me. The thought elicits a sardonic chuckle, the absurdity of my life hitting me anew.
We arrive at our destination, a traditional building that exudes an air of quiet opulence. The owner herself greets us, leading us to a private room that seems worlds away from the bustling city outside. As we enter, the emphasis on traditional aesthetics is immediately apparent, demanding a level of respect and decorum that even I, in my usual state of detached amusement, feel compelled to honor.
We shed our shoes and take our places around the low table, sitting cross-legged on plush cushions. I note with a mixture of irritation and intrigue that while Yeji has positioned herself next to me, Ryujin sits diagonally across. The arrangement irks me more than it should, and I find myself stealing glances at Ryujin when I think she isn't looking.
The arrival of food and drink signals the start of the celebration in earnest. Soju and whiskey flow freely, the ingredients of forgetfulness laid out before us like a tempting feast. The ITZY members' eyes light up at the sight, their excitement palpable.
"Are you usually this excited to drink?" I ask, unable to keep a hint of amusement from my voice.
Yuna, the youngest, pipes up with an enthusiasm that's both endearing and slightly alarming. "Well, nothing helps the soul breathe more after months of being abroad and weeks working more hours than Elon Musk does in the office than a couple of bottles!"
The other members playfully scold her for her candor, but I find myself warming to their dynamic. Despite the obvious nervousness that still lingers beneath the surface, there's a genuineness to their interactions that I find oddly comforting.
As the night progresses and the alcohol flows, the conversation becomes more animated. We discuss our respective careers, our histories, and a myriad of other topics. I notice with a mix of professional admiration and personal concern that the ITZY members seem remarkably resistant to the effects of the alcohol, despite having consumed significantly more than I have.
It's in this atmosphere of lowered inhibitions that Ryujin finally breaks her relative silence. I've been aware of the concerned glances the other members have been throwing her way, as if her quiet demeanor is out of character.
"Did you know Koji Oppa and I were–" she begins, only to be cut off by a whispered warning from Yeji about the use of honorifics. I turn to Yeji, intending to ask for clarification, only to be struck by the intense blush coloring her cheeks. The other members, quick to pick up on the situation, begin teasing Yeji mercilessly.
Ryujin clears her throat and continues, "Did you know Koji-nim and I were childhood best friends?"
The revelation is met with surprise from the others, who look between us with newfound interest. There's a moment of hesitation, the weight of our shared history hanging in the air, before Ryujin and I begin to piece together the story of our upbringing.
As we talk, I feel a subtle shift in the atmosphere. The barrier that had existed between us – built of years of silence and divergent paths – begins to crumble. The others, sensing this change, relax into the conversation, their earlier nervousness giving way to genuine curiosity and warmth.
Yuna, emboldened by alcohol and the more relaxed mood, turns to me with a mischievous glint in her eye. "Hey sunbaenim, why are you so handsome, even though you're a chairman?"
The question catches me off guard, my usual sharp retorts failing me in the face of such unexpected forwardness. I scoff and take another bite of food, buying time as I try to formulate a response.
From the corner of my eye, I notice Ryujin glaring at Yuna, her eyebrows tied with irritation. The younger girl immediately wilts under the look, adopting a sulking posture that speaks volumes about the group's dynamics. It's fascinating to me how a single glance can convey so much between them.
As the night wears on, the effects of the alcohol become more pronounced. Soon, everyone except me is in various states of inebriation, heads lolling and arms thrown around each other as they burst into spontaneous song.
In this haze of alcohol and nostalgia, Ryujin turns to me, all pretense of formality abandoned. "Hey! Why haven't you contacted me? I used to send an endless amount of messages waiting for your response after I was done being a trainee, waiting for your response, and don't say that you changed your phone number because it's clearly the same and it even lights up your phone just now when I texted you!"
Her words, slurred but pointed, catch me off guard. For perhaps the first time in my adult life, I find myself at a loss for words. The carefully constructed walls I've built around myself suddenly feel paper-thin in the face of her raw honesty.
"I... I wanted to reinvent myself," I finally manage, the words feeling hollow even as I speak them. "To bury the past."
The effect of my words is immediate and heartbreaking. Tears well up in Ryujin's eyes, and in that moment, I'm struck by the realization of how much I must have meant to her. The thought that I, in my single-minded pursuit of success, might have caused her pain is unexpectedly distressing.
But the moment passes quickly, swept away by the infectious energy of the group. Soon, they're on their feet, performing elaborate choreographies despite their inebriated state. I watch in amazement, marveling at their skill and dedication even in such a compromised state.
As the night draws to a close, I'm faced with an unexpected dilemma. The ITZY team has departed, leaving the members without a way home. In a moment of uncharacteristic impulsivity, I decide to take them to my alternate penthouse nearby.
The journey is a comedy of errors, with me attempting to wrangle five drunk K-pop stars into my chauffeur-driven car. As we ascend in the elevator, my arms full with the most inebriated members, Yeji and Yuna, a cascade of more sensible plans floods my mind. The irony of my situation isn't lost on me. But it's too late for regrets now.
I manage to navigate each member to a separate bedroom, where they immediately succumb to exhaustion. As I close the last door, I turn to find Ryujin waiting on the couch, her eyes heavy-lidded but alert.
"Why does this home feel like it hasn't had anyone living in it at all?" she asks, her gaze sweeping across the immaculate, impersonal space.
I pause, considering my words carefully. "Because I bought these homes thinking that the bigger size would make me happy, but I just end up staying in one room all day."
Her response is immediate and cutting. "Huh... you really must be out of your mind."
I scoff, both amused and slightly stung by her blunt assessment. As I help her to the master bedroom – a decision I'll later attribute to the alcohol's influence – I'm acutely aware of the warmth of her body against mine, the subtle scent of her perfume mingling with the lingering aroma of soju.
As she settles onto the bed, her voice takes on a softer, almost vulnerable tone. "Please hug me."
The request catches me off guard. "Why?"
"Pay me back for all the years you've neglected me."
Her words hit me like a physical blow. "Didn't you stop texting me?"
"Because you ignored me for two years!" The pain in her voice is palpable. "What was I supposed to do? Text you for two more years? Would that ingrain in you the idea that I valued our friendship!?"
As she weeps silently into the luxury tapestry, her oversized button-up shirt and pantyhose creating a strangely alluring silhouette against the expensive bedcover, I'm struck by the complexity of our shared history. The years of silence, the unspoken longing, the paths that diverged only to converge again in this moment – it all comes crashing down on me.
Despite my usual aversion to physical contact, I find myself drawn to her. I climb onto the bed and wrap my arms around her from behind, inhaling her scent one last time before succumbing to exhaustion.
---
I awake alone, the lingering warmth on the sheets the only evidence of Ryujin's presence. The distant sound of clattering draws me from the room, my feet carrying me to the balcony overlooking the living room. The sight that greets me is unexpected – Ryujin in the kitchen, the air filled with the aroma of a home-cooked breakfast.
As I descend the stairs, the other members quickly apologize for their irresponsibility the night before. Their earnest attempts to make amends – cleaning the rooms, preparing breakfast, even stocking the fridge – are both touching and amusing. I find myself imagining, with a hint of sardonic humor, how these globally successful idols would fare as my personal staff.
After they leave, I savor the breakfast Ryujin prepared, each bite a reminder of a simpler time. As the day progresses, I find myself utilizing more of the penthouse than I have in years. The library, once a showpiece, becomes a sanctuary as I lose myself in classic literature. It's a luxury I'd forgotten I needed, especially after working 365 days last year and nearly every day this year. The irony of my negotiated "optional" work life isn't lost on me – even if I hadn't shown up for a decade, my position as chairman would remain secure due to my overwhelming support in the company.
At 7 PM, the doorbell's chime breaks the peaceful silence. Expecting the cleaning staff, I'm surprised to find Ryujin at the door, a hefty bag in her arms and dressed in what appears to be pajamas.
"What are you doing here, Ryujin?" I ask, unable to keep a note of curiosity from my voice.
Her response is typically direct. "We finally reunited for the first time in 12 years and we're just gonna act like that's a small thing?"
She pushes past me, her determination evident. "Let me in! Let's watch a movie and catch up some more, and don't say we already caught up... despite being drunk, I knew most of what you were saying was corpo-talk, you freaking alien."
"Ah... you crazy lady," I mutter, but there's no real annoyance in my tone.
As she makes herself at home, pulling out an array of fermented vegetables from her bag, I can't help but ask, "First of all, why?"
"Because your fridge looks sadder than a divorced and broke 50-year-old," she retorts. Then, more softly, "And because I can tell that you need a female to care for you."
The statement catches me off guard, and I find myself strangely touched by her concern. To cover my momentary vulnerability, I tease her, "What happened to yesterday's Ryujin, who was as timid as a flower and couldn't even look me in the eyes even when blasted?"
My words seem to have an unexpected effect, causing her to retreat into herself slightly. But she continues her self-appointed task, quietly arranging the vegetables and asking permission to use the fridge. As I watch her, a memory surfaces – her family's vegan kimchi, a specialty due to seafood allergies. The fact that I remember such a detail after all these years is surprising.
"Hey, I got some expensive ass whiskey," I offer, an olive branch of sorts. "Let's eat those fermented vegetables and watch a movie."
She looks at me, a hint of surprise in her eyes. "How did you know I liked whiskey?"
"Observations," I reply, allowing a small smile to play at the corners of my mouth.
Her cheeks color slightly, and she turns away, busying herself with the food. "You know, you act like you've changed and abandoned the past, yet you seem even more strikingly original. You've still got your crazy brain itching to check under every rock, your handsome face, your dark stare..." She trails off, her blush deepening. "I'll cook some side dishes, you pick out the movie."
As she cooks, we fall into a comfortable rhythm of conversation, catching up on the years we've missed. The ease with which we interact is both familiar and new, a testament to the strength of our childhood bond and the people we've become.
Later, as we settle on the couch to watch "Chungking Express," Ryujin begins to lean into me, her body warm against my side. Without thinking, I wrap an arm around her shoulders, and she nestles into the crook of my neck.
The sensation is intoxicating. I find myself more aware of her presence than the movie, the scent of her hair – clean and floral – filling my senses. As the film progresses, I realize that neither of us is paying much attention to the screen.
When the credits roll, Ryujin's cheeks are flushed, and she avoids my gaze. "Why do you always look at people like you're going to kill them?" she blurts out.
"I know you like it," I reply, my voice low and teasing.
Her reaction – a mix of embarrassment and pleasure – is endearing. As she gets up to clear the dishes, I compliment her cooking. Her soft "Thank you" is barely audible, but the pleasure in her voice is unmistakable.
"Well, is there anything else you want to do?" I ask as she returns.
"Can we sleep in your bed for just a bit?" Her request is tentative, almost shy.
"Why?"
"Just a bit tired from the whiskey."
I can tell she's not being entirely truthful, but I find I don't mind. "Sure," I agree, surprising myself with how easily I acquiesce.
As we settle into bed, I hold her close, careful to maintain a respectful distance between our lower bodies. The warmth of her presence, the soft rhythm of her breathing, lulls me into a state of contentment I haven't experienced in years.
"Koji," she murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Yeah?"
"Have you had girls here on this bed before?"
The question hangs in the air, heavy with implication. I consider deflecting, but something about the moment – the darkness, the intimacy, the years of unspoken feelings between us – compels me towards honesty.
"Yes," I admit, "but not out of my own volition. A bunch of executives wanted better odds of staying with the company by forcing me to lay with their daughters before I was chairman..." I pause, the memories leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. "Those nights were some of the worst."
I feel Ryujin stiffen slightly in my arms, then relax. Her hand finds mine in the darkness, intertwining our fingers. No words are spoken, but in that gesture, I feel a wealth of understanding, forgiveness, and something deeper that neither of us is ready to name.
As we drift off to sleep, I'm struck by the realization that for the first time in years, I feel truly at peace. The void that I've been trying to fill with work, with success, with material possessions – it seems less daunting with Ryujin by my side. And as consciousness fades, I allow myself to hope that maybe, just maybe, this is the start of something new, something real, something that even I, with all my power and influence, couldn't have engineered.
"Whore," she said abruptly, her voice laced with a mixture of hurt and playfulness.
The word hung in the air for a moment, its weight palpable. I felt a surge of conflicting emotions - amusement, indignation, and a strange sense of relief at her ability to joke about such a sensitive topic.
"Huh!? You little brat," I growled, my voice a low rumble. I took advantage of my growing stubble, mercilessly rubbing my chin against the soft skin at the back of her neck. The prickly sensation elicited an immediate response.
"Why does that actually hurt!?" Ryujin squealed, her body squirming as she tried to escape my assault. Her laughter, barely contained, filled the room with a warmth I hadn't realized was missing.
Eventually, our playful struggle subsided, giving way to a companionable silence. We lay there, the quiet punctuated only by our soft breaths, gradually drifting into a deep slumber. It was, I realized as consciousness faded, the second-best sleep I'd ever experienced.
When I next opened my eyes, disorientation set in. The familiar contours of my bedroom slowly came into focus as I processed the situation. Ryujin was still asleep, her arm draped possessively over mine, maintaining our embrace even in sleep. A glance at the clock jolted me fully awake - we had slept for over 19 hours. The realization hit me like a bucket of cold water. Were we hibernating?
My sudden movement disturbed Ryujin, a light sleeper apparently. Her eyes fluttered open, confusion giving way to surprise as she registered my agitated state.
I hastily explained our unexpected time skip, watching as understanding dawned on her face. Without a word, she sprang up and made a beeline for the restroom. Her urgency puzzled me.
"What's up?" I called after her, my voice still rough with sleep.
"I don't know why we slept for so long," she replied, her voice muffled through the bathroom door, "but I wanted today for us to hang out at this chic bar that's also a library."
The concept piqued my interest, but practicality reared its head. "We'll just get swarmed."
"It's only for celebrities, or is only known by celebrities," she countered, emerging from the bathroom looking refreshed.
"Well... very well then," I conceded, unable to resist the allure of a library, even one doubling as a bar.
As we went about our morning routine, standing side by side at the twin sinks, a wave of nostalgia washed over me. The familiarity of the moment, reminiscent of our childhood when we were inseparable, stirred something within me - a mix of comfort and unease.
Seeking to dispel the suddenly overwhelming emotions, I asked, "Do you have any errands today?" The question came out more brusque than I'd intended, a thinly veiled attempt at creating distance.
Ryujin's response was immediate, her face clouding over with a scowl. "Can't we just be together for a bit? It was the hardest thing being away from you for 12 years, the only reason I was able to tolerate it was because of how overworked I was, and after 12 years you want to leave me again?"
Her words, raw with honesty, struck a chord. Before I could formulate a response, she crossed the hallway in quick strides, enveloping me in a tight embrace. The desperation in her grip spoke volumes.
As I stood there, my arms slowly coming up to return her embrace, I realized she was right. Despite my ingrained tendency to maintain emotional distance, I found myself wanting to be with her too. The admission, even if only to myself, was both terrifying and exhilarating.
We arrived at the bar via what Ryujin jokingly referred to as the "celebrity tunnel network," her expertise in navigating this hidden world both impressive and slightly disconcerting. As we entered, I was struck by the bar's understated charm. It was almost run-down, yet appealingly so - homely in a way that spoke of comfort rather than luxury. I could see why it would appeal to celebrities missing their hometowns, a retreat from the glitz and glamour of their public lives.
"Well, how is it?" Ryujin asked, a hint of anxiety in her voice as she awaited my verdict.
"Pretty damn nice," I admitted, allowing a small smile to play at the corners of my mouth.
Her face lit up at my approval. "Let's go and have some fun!" she exclaimed, her enthusiasm infectious.
What followed was almost dreamlike in its intensity. We played games, drank, ate, sulked, and cheered. Through it all, our focus remained solely on each other, the celebrities around us fading into inconsequential background noise.
"Your neurotic brain didn't expect this much fun, did it? It might faint and die!" Ryujin teased, her laughter echoing as she darted between the massive bookshelves.
"Aish, you little brat!" I called after her, giving chase through the labyrinth of literature.
We ended up nestled between the library shelves, surrounded by the comforting smell of old books and polished wood. The atmosphere was thick with silence, broken only by the soft rustle of pages and our quiet breathing. As we searched for classics, Ryujin naturally assumed her position, her head resting in the crook of my neck. The familiarity of the gesture, the warmth of her body against mine, sent a jolt of electricity through me.
Overwhelmed by the sudden rush of emotion, I gently motioned for us to separate slightly. As I created a small distance between us, my eyes were drawn to her, really seeing her perhaps for the first time since our reunion.
Her jet-black hair, styled to perfection, complemented her subtle yet striking makeup. The black silk dress she wore, flowing to the floor, was a stark contrast to her usual casual attire, highlighting the dichotomy of her public and private personas. Her low heels accentuated her pedicured feet, a small detail that spoke volumes about the care she put into her appearance.
As I gazed at her, I was struck by the realization that nobody else would understand the depth of her character - the caring soul hidden beneath the exterior of a femme fatale. This knowledge, this intimate understanding of who she truly was, felt like a precious secret shared between us.
The longer I looked, the more entranced I became, not just by her physical beauty, but by the beauty of her soul that shone through her eyes. Those eyes, now wide with an emotion I couldn't quite name, met mine. In that moment, we needed no words. Our connection, forged in childhood and tempered by years of separation, spoke volumes in the silence.
As we stood there, surrounded by the whispers of countless stories contained in the books around us, I felt a shift in our relationship. The boundaries we had carefully maintained, the walls we had built over years of separation, began to crumble. In their place, something new and fragile was taking root - a connection deeper and more profound than anything I had experienced before.
The realization was both exhilarating and terrifying. For someone who had spent years cultivating an image of cold, calculated success, the depth of emotion I felt for Ryujin was unprecedented. It threatened to upend the carefully constructed world I had built for myself.
Yet, as I stood there, lost in the depths of her gaze, I found I didn't care. For once, the ever-present voice in my head - the one constantly strategizing, analyzing, planning - was silent. In its place was a quiet certainty that this, whatever it was blossoming between us, was worth any risk.
As if reading my thoughts, Ryujin's lips curved into a soft smile. Her hand found mine, our fingers intertwining with a familiarity that belied our years apart. In that moment, surrounded by the accumulated wisdom of generations contained in the books around us, we began to write a new chapter in our own story.
The deafeningly silent row became our tunnel towards each other. And, my lips crashed into hers. I pinned her to the solid shelf, which I made sure to push with increasing strength to test its integrity before, she took everything with gratitude, her lips moved slower, savoring each moment, my lips moved faster, trying to devour her, increasingly pressing into her silky mouth. 
My entire body pressed against her, and even her little heels didn’t help much in reaching me, she was standing on her tiptoes. Her body pressed against mine, the silken feeling arousing both of us every second, I grasped for more and more, tightening my grip on her, the softness of her thighs obvious through the silk dress, and even more so when I passed my hands under her dress, desperately clamping on her thighs. 
Little breaths of air were the only moments we could stay away from each other at that moment, her meek moans against my mouth were utter bliss, the gentle exhales adding heat betwixt our faces, my hips slowly grinded into her, the heat of my erection pressed against her body, the feeling almost like there wasn’t any cloth between us, leaving her mewling on my lips, each moment of my hips bringing out a deeper moan out of her mouth. We kissed each other with occasional eye contact, the kiss wasn’t enough, I needed to stare into her beautiful eyes, engorging on her, conquering her state of mind. 
Our passion grew only larger, I grabbed hold of everything, her exposed milky thighs surrendering to the shape of my grasp. My hands slid on the side of her body, I grasped tightly, akin to a bear hug under her shoulders, yet her body still submitted, syncing the body rolls in pleasure. Grinding deeper into her, letting my tongue trail against her mouth deeper. And, There was a sudden jolt, and a much loader moan left her mouth, her whole body shook and I held her tighter, her lips left mine with trails of saliva to slowly moan into my mouth, she was driving me fucking crazy.
As she caught her breath, our makeout session resumed, this time I held her up as she straddled me, leading to our groins rubbing even more intensively. The only thing separating our genitals were 3 layers of clothing that were already soaked in her essence. The pain of keeping an erection in my pants soon became apparent, yet it was probably the smallest thing in the world compared to kissing Ryujin. The static of the books slightly picked strands of her hair off, the increasing static of our ministrations gathering the attention of even inanimate objects, for our passion was so great. Her neck divulged, surrendered to the cupping of my hands, her head relayed and followed the motions of our cuddling. 
The pleasure strained her face so beautifully, the knotting of her eyebrows, the irritated wrinkles of pleasure. 
“Oh my go-god…” she exhaled beautifully into my face as she stared intently, “I never expected my first time to be in a public library.”
“This isn’t your first time, this is your introduction, dear, I’ll find a space where I’ll send you to heaven.” I replied.
Her face knotted with a joking disapproval, with a slight hint of anticipation of what could be. 
A beautiful cornucopia existed in our ecosystem, a beautiful quietness mixed with the groans of pleasure. The deeper I went, the more she accommodated, and yet I felt a slight hinge, a hint that she was overstimulated.
I paused, quietly prodding at what could the irritation be.
She had nearly lost her voice, raspy and soft, she said,“I’m so sorry, I’m so sensitive that any more action would probably make me pass out”
Such a gentle and kindred soul, you smirked, giving a peck on her lips one last time before you lowered her on her bare feet because the small heels had slipped off as she straddled you. Even without heels, her legs were jelly, and she fell down like a doe. 
She glanced back and laughed. 
She used her arms to hold on to me as we exited the building and into the car.
She broke the warm but not awkward silence to say, “Koji, could you drop me off at [X]? I promised to do something today and I’m about 3 hours late…”
I looked at her dumbfounded, “what about your bag?”
“Keep it there… You don’t just want to end it off here right?”
There was silent confirmation in both parties.
“Well… what about your dress? It’s soaked”, it was basically her entire lower half part of the dress that was damp.
Her cheeks grew bright red, “pervert… let’s grab some clothes fast at a store.”
The day merrily went by as we both said our heart-felt goodbyes. 
—---
 A day later,  several epiphanies were realized within the octane of haphazard thinking I was ‘famous’ for:
First, that I really didn’t need to work much at the company at all, I had set myself up such that any more action would be diminishing on both the company and me.
Second, I was bored as hell, entering some scholarly professorship under my own authority helped stave it off somewhat.
Third, my loins grew hot whenever I thought of Ryujin.
-----
Ryujin had been busy with friendly and familial commitments that she made prior to going on an escapade with Koji, if she could, she would’ve canceled all of them in a heartbeat. Holidays for Ryujin or any idol is usually heavier than many jobs, like a veteran in Vietnam, beaten up, broken but still itching for a little more. Though Ryujin was doing better than most idols, she was a finalist for the national math olympiad, an accomplished essayist in her school, these other facets of her life threatened the utter subservience many agencies demanded, to be like IBM white shirts whose entire life molded into IBM was the fate of many idols.
After 2 straight days of commitments later, she finally embraced the cold warmth of her bed at midnight. And her entire mind was only of Koji. Her brain was etched with the intense moment they shared in that library, their desires being unleashed on each other in such an unsuitable place, maybe if it was more suitable, perhaps they would’ve gone farther?
This thought shook Ryujin, goosebumps over her body and her loins grew heated. Her moans were soft against the fabric of her pillow, and she quietly whispered his name with eyes closed and euphoria bloomed in her mind. Her face knotted with pleasure, with imagination ablaze in her cranium. Her embarrassed thoughts of being brought to climax within just a minute or two were overridden by her desire for him. A warm wetness grew in her until she stopped breathing, her mouth agape, slowly pouring out a warm moan.
She silently uttered, in a low tenor: “I miss him…” splayed out on the bed, in the afterglow of her orgasm.
She probably cannot go without Koji for another day.
After her climax, she debated on whether to message Koji first, thinking that she could be a burden on the budding multi-billionaire. Well, not really, she didn’t care as long as she got to text Koji. Koji was at home, engaging in his self-study in deep work, yet jumped like a gun when a unique ringtone buzzed, opposed to his corpo chat ring that he could care less about.  
She finally finished her arrangements and this time Koji wanted to come over. 
Koji texted, “I would’ve come over if not for the fact that you’re surveilled 24/7”
“Haha, come on, our group is 5 years old, I would jumped off the building if I had to share a studio with someone ever again”, she was beaming with sunshine at the phone, kicking her legs in the air as she felt the conversation turned to her favor, being that he would come over.
“Send me your address ASAP”
“Why do you send texts like a corpo robot hahaha”
“You’ll rue this day”
“I’ll be looking forward to it ;)”
They enjoyed each other’s dry humor, one that developed and grew over the years, making their jokes and interactions even more cohesive to one another. Finally after some banter, they both said their good nights, exhaustedly, Ryujin lightly phased into sleep as Koji stared into the ceiling for hours before sleeping.
Ryujin prepared for the noon meeting by cooking a bunch of meals, especially foods that didn’t use much oil to cook, remembering his intolerance of frying oil. Ryujin predicted that Koji would be absurdly early, so her prep began as early as 8 am; picking out the undergarments, faintly blushing at the idea of both of them going past the line; and cleaning the home until it was spotless. 
Koji was usually conservative with what type of car he drove in public. Yet, this time he sped across Seoul with the Bugatti to not only come early, but to buy gifts for the first time he’s visiting her home, it’s been only 2 days and he missed her whisker smile. Koji entered a luxury pawn shop that had a collection of random goods. He bought a vinyl player, radiohead vinyl disks, and a golden necklace dating back to the 1500s restored near perfectly. He would’ve bought more if he could, but the sudden decision to bring the bugatti out severely hampered his carrying capacity. And so, he carried the goods through the street, and despite shopping around for about 20 minutes, the street was full of people. He gripped his thigh and sped down the road with the loud revs of a matador, it was bound to be a social media spectacle within the hour, he couldn’t care less. 
At 10:45 he arrived at Ryujin’s specified address, and he was quite taken aback by how early he came. Though, now that he arrived, it would be a waste to wait until 12.
So, a knock came on the door. Ryujin was startled, if this was Koji then old habits truly died hard, notoriously giving her family a hard time with how he perceived time. Her flip flops smacked against her heel as she approached the door and slowly opened it, embarrassed about how she was dressed currently.
Koji quickly peered in and took her appearance in, his mouth slowly went agape.
A pink oversized t-shirt, very short shorts, flip flops, and an elegantly promiscuous anklet.
A premature silence arose, she was gorgeous, a close description of her was impossible, a more esoteric description is more suitable: it was as if god molded Ryujin as her passion project, the objective beauty overwhelming, subjective beauty incomprehensible. “Are you gonna keep staring me down and up?”, she giggled with a red tint in her cheeks.
“Oh right, well I brought some gifts since I was visiting your home for the first time”.
“Oh come on! You’re making me look bad, I should’ve brought gifts.”
“To be fair, I am basically the richest man in the world.”
She scowled at him with a slight smile and took a look at the gifts.
She really seemed so happy, fiddling with the items she got, observing them as they sprawled in her thin arms.
“Well, come on in, even though you’re about an hour and 15 minutes EARLY.” She said with a raised eyebrow, as if it was some habit of mine.
“Events lead to another, well come on, introduce me to your home.”
After an introduction and a delicious lunch, “how the hell is this food so good?” her whisker-smile appeared yet again. Koji wasn’t lying, the food was delicious more so than michelin restaurants and their opulent blandness. Perhaps, the taste is enhanced with the warm stare of Ryujin, the bare-faced beauty, in her home-attire, as if this was their ordinary life.
Ryujin asked, “Actually, I never asked you this, but how did you acquire all that wealth?” She was lightly pecking at the food with her metal chopsticks, the slight pinging sounds enthused her question with a more casual tone. It was one of Koji’s favorite questions because it encapsulated the essence of his preparation. 
After about 20 minutes of Koji rambling about his strategies and mathematical approach as an executive, Ryujin said, “damn, you’re a geek”, despite listening wide-eyed with utmost attention.
“You were a geek too, if you didn’t dance you would be the geek of the century! You were reading Kafka at the age of 11, come on!” Koji blurted out, with intense resolve, knowing how much of a geek Ryujin was.
“Well I don’t know, I don’t remember anything from that book. Honestly, I might’ve just pretended to read it because you liked those types of books.” She slightly shuffled in her seat, with her head down as if she wanted to hide from embarrassment at her sudden confession.
Koji laughed harder, somehow, Ryujin just eased his burdens, well his incomprehensible burdens that turned him into a corporate robot.
No amount of conversation satiated their fascination for each other, perhaps the many years they spent apart had deepened their resolve to stick together. 
Ryujin replied, wanting to switch to a different topic, “It seems like you really love your job huh… I thought being an idol was about dancing and singing, and then I was exposed to all the media training, political affiliations, customs, surveillance, and it’s kind of fizzling out, well, until I met you…” her ramble always  amuses Koji to no end.
“Well I would say my job was pretty average, there was never any strong emotions I felt, I felt completely normal leveraging a trade of 50 million dollars that would’ve threatened the entire liquidity of the company, and sometimes I don’t even understand how I became the chairman, it all seems like a coincidence to me.” 
Ryujin, amused with his naivety of his success, replied, “Well you know as Seneca said..”
Koji suddenly remembered the quote that Ryujin was about to say, and cut in together, “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”
Koji interjected again, “I don’t know. Shit. I don’t even know if I was conscious at the age of 14.”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit.” Ryujin softly said, almost a slight vibration of her low tone. 
They maintained eye contact, it was endlessly romantic, they fit in so well, a two-piece puzzle in which the two pieces endlessly complex fit on every level of complexity.
There was a trickle of silence, not awkward, no no… they shared each other’s melancholy, sauntering on each other’s presence, needing not a single word to continue enjoying each other's presence. 
Ryujin interrupted the most beautiful silence with her beautiful voice as Koji’s eyes dug into her, “what are you looking at? Loser…”, it was an automatic response, and he didn’t register it, knowing that his stare softens her up quickly. 
“I hope you know that I would conquer the stars for you.”
“What the hell does that even mean?!” A bright flush invaded her bare face, the redness of her embarrassment was adorably apparent when she had no make-up. Still, she tried to maintain the facade of the forcefully-applied girl-boss attitude.
Yet, all those mechanisms built from relentless training and practice wilted under Koji, she was a doe in front of a spotlight, all survival instincts forgotten. Yet, it was addicting for Ryujin, the most unfamiliar territory of her life.
“You know I’m really hard to understand right?” she blurted.
It had been 12 years, after all.
But, Koji replied, “Really?”
And Koji swiftly grabbed the nape of her neck and immediately pulled her in for a kiss. She was shocked, her eyes were wide with shock and yet, her eyes slowly closed, her wispy eyelashes fluttered under the glow of the euphoric makeout and her first breathy moan escaped through her. And suddenly everything felt insignificant, the air heavy and dense with the erotic sounds of kissing. 
Koji picked Ryujin up with just one arm and clearing the way with his other arm, she squealed at the surprise, “How can you pick me up so easily?” she said breathlessly after kissing, staring into Koji’s eyes, “Well you’re like 40kg, come on.” As he grasped her ass for the first time earning a squeal from her. 
He dropped her onto the large couch, he held the small of her back supporting their makeout session, the peaks of her nipples were teasing him through her t-shirt, her lower body was luridly seeking his stimulation. “It seems both of us read each other exactly”, as he released the kiss to dig into the side of her neck, despite the rapid escalation, they fit so naturally, read each other so naturally and knew that they only lusted for each other. “I’ve wanted this from the second I saw you,” she confessed breathlessly against the onslaught of pleasure, “I’ve wanted to experience this lurid love-making only with you.” She always managed to say the right words, the ruthless perpendicularity of Ryujin compared to the other girls turned Koji on only more.
While Koji was buried into her body, Ryujin naturally broke down, she caressed him, hugged him, and slowly rocked against him, her natural response was his natural stimulant. He rocked against her body with a firm grasp on her creamy white ass only getting more affection from Ryujin. “Ah, you are so good, so good, I’m so turned on” she breathlessly said, trying to catch her breath and mouthing her enjoyment. “Worship me”, Koji blurted out, softly moving the pliant hair out of her face, and without specifying any further, the positions naturally changed. 
Ryujin rapidly kneeled on the carpet, and spread her hands around his thighs with unbroken eye contact, she was seduced, she was over the moon, and so was Koji. She kissed and tongued at almost every square inch of his legs, going down to his shins, with her kneeled down, it drove both of them crazy, she truly worshiped Koji. Koji slightly pulled Ryujin off by grasping her hair, and she stared into him intensely with lust and bit her lips with obscene arousal, and then he released her. Ryujin Licked the inside of his thighs, going all the way to his boxers, and slowly grasping the elastic boxers to slowly pull them down. 
Ryujin had almost climaxed just like before with only kissing and foreplay. And when she saw his cock, her arousal skyrocketed. It had happened, it was inconceivable for the friendship to go back to what it was, and now it would be truly and utterly impossible. The last layer of our inseparable friendship unveiled a truly new layer, a new layer that could change them forever.
With the uncertain conclusion in her mind, she took him in her mouth. Koji gasped hot air while looking at the ceiling, and went to maintain eye contact while she slowly sucked on his length. She sucked so seductively, her eyes still boring into you with lust. It was her first time doing this yet her learning rate accelerated, getting notions from the slight knotting of Koji’s face.
“Is this right Oppa?” Ryujin said, with a smile on her face, her lips a little swollen from all the pressure and sucking. 
“It’s very right, baby, just try to reduce scraping your teeth against my dick.” Koji rubbed Ryujin’s nape softly, massaging the smoothness of her skin.
She took the guide gladly, layering her mouth over her teeth, vacuuming her mouth, maximizing pleasure. She took him out of her mouth whenever she felt like she was breathless and slapped it against her tongue. She stared at his cock, it was glistening with her spit and several strands were still there, and she said slurredly, “I just came from sucking your dick, you know that’s how long I’ve wanted this right?” Koji quickly grabbed hold her hair, tighter this time, slightly pulling, a small squeal at the pull escaped Ryujin, “take off your fucking t-shirt” with the raspiness of arousal, Koji’s grip on Ryujin gave her endless pleasure, and the near-growl of Koji caused a vibration of pleasure within Ryujin. She stared intently at Koji as she pulled off her t-shirt, that still had the sloppiness of her amateur attempt, it didn’t matter, experience didn’t matter in love-making.
The breasts of aphrodite, the pinnacle of beauty, supple white boobs with pink nipples, he was going crazy. She quickly got back to work on his dick, and her pink nipples grazed his shin as she made a mess on his crotch. It was obvious that she was fingering herself throughout this, clearly enjoying this debauchery. 
Koji began shoving her on his dick, and she slowly gargled, trying crisis control by dragging out her gargle to make it seem like it was a random noise. Koji chuckled and shoved her even deeper, Ryujin slowly adapted and didn’t need as much time to breathe, the wall of maximality slowly easing deeper and deeper into her mouth, doing it as she upended Koji’s entire life during fellatio. 
She loved it, in her cozy but well-off apartment, with the bright sun peeking through the curtains. She held hands with Koji as she sucked him off. There was a beautiful life that they had envisioned, unburdened by any sort of dubious adoption, unburdened by the expectations of the previous generation. Doing what they enjoyed only, which currently was the love they expressed for each other. Slowly, Koji eased Ryujin’s moving head, pulling her off to signal the end of the session, she released his cock with a low pop. Ryujin’s nervous obedience was apparent, she nuzzled into the hand of warmth to distract her of what was bound to happen, nuzzling deeper into the hand of Koji’s that held her jaw. 
Koji stared warmly and immediately picked her up, she yelped; he asked, “uhhh…. Which one’s your bedroom?” This ridiculous moment just reminded both of them of how ridiculous this situation was, but they weren’t gonna do anything to stop it. He threw Ryujin on the bed, and she relished the situation. Before he got onto the bed with her though, Ryujin slowly planted one foot on her chest. “Why am I bareback about to be violated on my bed and the culprit is suited up like he’s about to go to work in 10 minutes?” Koji tore his button up in an instant, buttons flew everywhere.
He slithered on to her, pinning her to the bed, each hand trapped under the weight of Koji, missionary style. Now that he was closer, she began her onslaught of affection, despite being literally chained under his striating arms. And there they were, Ryujin, a goddess, slowly being dominated by the love of her life. “I’m so wet, please just fuck me… I don’t have a condom but it’s my safe day (she lied)”, and he knew she lied but he didn’t care, not even Koji could resist the dopaminergic onslaught this situation caused.
The brush of their abdomens raised both their hairs, Koji’s hard abs, Ryujin’s slick abdomen both sculpted to streamlined perfection. Koji pushed off the bed, kneeling and palmed his dick, slowly lining up to her entrance. Her folds were wet to the touch and so tender, a few soft taps ensued on her pussy, each causing Ryujin to spasm in surprise
“Is it going to hurt?” She asked questioningly, with not a single intention to stop the action, just wanting affirmation from Koji.
He cupped her face, and kissed her forehead, then her nose, then her mouth, he avoided the question effectively, granting her the affirmation she needed. They were burning up in arousal.
And he slowly pushed in as Ryujin held onto him to steady him, but really it would do nothing, his athlete frame would overpower anything Ryujin tried to do. And as he slowly pushed in, a hard resistance was met, a loud cry definitely signaled something wrong, ah, he forgot she was a virgin. “Just keep going!” She said as she faced to the side to hide her face and bite into the blanket in case any more pain flustered her.
Koji whispered warm apologies into her ear, massaging a side of her shoulder as he slowly pushed in, even slower, even more sensually.
“It hurts…” Ryujin whined against the blanket.
“Want me to take it out?” 
“No… keep going…” she said in an even quieter tone, still managing to be bratty even in her compromised position.
—--
“Holy fucking shit” I blurt as I slowly enter her pussy, a unbelievable softness, a vacuum of pulling, a stone wall of resistance, all contradictions yet the closest description to the glory of her her best kept secret.I use one hand to pull Ryujin’s face to meet mine as I slowly entered and murmured sweet nothings in her face. She was melting, and I could feel it on my crotch. I slowly entered even slower than before and it still almost seemed too much for little Ryujin. 
The scrunch of the nose slowly morphed into a deep moan as I finally settled inside her, and then hugged her, letting the bristles of our goosebumps meet. She was kissing the side of my face as I was meticulously boring into her, moving faster this time. 
Everything was sticky, misty, uncomfortable, the blanket was a little too hot, a little too invasive, the uneven bedding; none of that mattered when Ryujin was moaning softly right in your ear and trying to kiss you. Fuck the future, fuck the past, fuck anything that isn’t with you and Ryujin right now, what matters right now is that I make sure that she enjoys what she has desired for so long.
I get up from hugging her in missionary to kneeling upright, the heat of her chest missing from my chest slowly disheartening both of us. Yet, I thrust in her harder, my dick in her pussy, slick with her love, her everything, and she was rewarded as such, though she wasn’t the only one enjoying it, this was fucking mutual euphoria.
Her head was cushioned into a comically large pillow and her head was being buried in there from my thrusts, she moaned so happily, so beautifully, she was a walking goddess. The Striations of my muscles bulged in random places, full of oxygenated blood, I was slightly red all over. She seemed truly worried, for all she could muster anyway, getting pounded into the bed and opening her eyes any millisecond she could get from me pounding into her. 
I am obsessive in nature, neurotic, and for all the care I tried to muster, I seemed to blow it all away. Seemingly increasing the speed, the knotting of her face clearly showing the orders I forgot to pass in order to get to this speed. Yet she held my forearms, the arms that held her waist down, that made her pussy gum on my cock continuously, getting her essence all over the bed; yet somehow I had been controlled, the softness of her palms slowed my addiction to her pussy, the addiction to her soul, her love, was greater.
The intensity of her pleasure grew further, I loved it. She was speechless, unable to process her pleasure, unable to laugh or scowl, with only moans leaving her mouth. I pressed my 4 fingers just over the pubis bone, and the thumb over her clit, pushing the 4 fingers deep and thumbing at her clit. And the first pump into her showed just how effective this was, she suddenly opened her eyes and immediately came on my dick.
“Oh! Fuck! Oh my gooo….” Her head instinctually pulled upwards, in foreign lands of her orgasm being in utter gridlock under my rule. She could do nothing, yet she could do everything, the slight palming of her hands, the sweet moans, the low tone could get me to do anything, any-fucking-thing.
I kept pumping until she started shaking and I slowly stopped, grinning at her novice submission.
“Holy shit, oh my god, what the hell was that?”, she was panting with love juices all over her body, glistening in the orange sunset. Pressing her forearms over her forehead to ruminate just on what happened. 
I replied, “we have been at it till sunset”, I locked eyes with her, “but we’ve got years to catch up on”, and I flipped her over in a sunken doggystyle position, earning a squeal, a mixed reaction, she knew we had years to catch up on, and this was only a day’s worth, what could be next worried her slightly. She resolved her mind on it though.
She grabbed onto my forearm with affection and consent for me to ravage her behind until she couldn’t think anymore, to think this girl acts like a punk on national tv only amuses me more. And then the sight brought me back to the bed, her legs tucked between my legs, my dick hovering over her creamy white ass, it was obvious she was waiting for any kind of friction, she had her head down facing into the cover in some adorable way waiting for me to pummel her.
But this time, I wanted to savor it. I wrapped my hand in one of her elastic asscheeks and squeezed until a handprint formed, then slapped it.
She screamed into the cover, though she may be obedient, she makes it known when she doesn’t like something and this is not one of them. 
I slowly descend on her, and she jumps a bit feeling the encroaching presence, too turned on to act nonchalant. I wrap my hands around her waist, and somehow my fingers almost touch each other, I bit my knuckle trying not to devour her right this second, try not to destroy this piece of god’s work. I slowly entered inside her this time, and again, utter bliss, she finally took her face off the cover and moaned seductively at me, I dropped down to kiss her while I fucked her inside out.
“You are god’s work, little princess” I whispered into her ear, with a soft grasp on her goosebump-ridden neck, her eyes looked up in arousal, her mouth opened wider, accommodating the lower moans.
Her ass stuck out accommodating my exchange with our genitals, I held one hand around her clit and g-spot area to try to stimulate both, slight grazes were applied, but not much thinking was going on, as I held Ryujin’s chin and kissed her while witnessing her 3rd orgasm, she moaned with extra saliva in her mouth, I saw her mouth crane open in pleasure, strands of our love spreading over the pillow. She was absolutely feral.
I was even rougher with my treatment the next turn around, I entered harder, held her chin harder, stimulated the clit harder. This made her orgasm a 4th time, this time she really needed a break, breaking the kiss to lay down, then the pinnacle of our sex crazed session was revealed to us, we fell onto the floor, we had been fucking so passionately that our session slowly moved off the bed. I fell first and landed on my back, and she landed on me, again revealing just how frail she was required to be. It felt like a beautiful pillow landing on me. We giggled until she asked to blow me instead, “I might actually die if you make me cum one more time and you haven’t even cum yet” pouting as if she was offended, though I was dangerously close, and she was the only girl that even brought me there, anyway what’s better than a goddess giving you a blowjob?
I climbed on the bed, and she climbed much slower, likely due to the “exhaustion”. She set herself up in the “The Pose” with her feet kicking the air as she took me in her mouth. This time, like a super-charged neural network was already giving a earth shattering blowjob, her beautiful feet dangled in the air while I held on to her hair. Her hair slowly collapsed on her face to reveal bangs, her hair spray degraded from our actions.
She was eye-fucking me with her innocent eyes the entire time as she gave me a blowjob, we both stared into eachother, silent conversations blooming in a ridiculous position. And I finally reached the peak, I grasped her head and I held her down until I unloaded all of it, globs of semen flowed down her mouth. The gaps of her mouth needed for breathing flowed out with thick baby batter, she vacuumed her mouth too late. She stared at me in amazement, I raised my brow, an empty response, one that could be interpreted any way. She took the response and understood it her own way. Her mouth slowly left my cock, clean with spit. She swallowed with a grin, rubbing my thighs, then dived down. She kneeled and swallowed it all, then went back down to clean the rest of the semen on my crotch, she licked and mewled until she sat up again softly patting me on the thigh.
“Goddess”, was all I could muster.
She smiled brightly and we showered each other in silent praise. She eventually moved down the bed, but kissed her down, my thigh, my shin, and got up to only collapse as she walked off.
“Oh shit, my legs are literally jelly”, but she adjusted herself, and asked, “Well… well. Do you wanna take a shower together?”, naked, glistening and slightly avoiding my gaze in her embarrassment.
“Do you even have to ask?” I jumped up and took her in a bridal carry. She again kept kissing whatever part she was closest to, my chest, my shoulders, “definitely a gentleman” and rested her head against me.
The shower was warm and it was a tight fit for other people, not for us though, we grazed skin-to-skin assisting each other to clean one another. It was exceptionally hard but it was the hardness that could be ignored, because this moment was almost undeniably better, she rubbed me with her hands and smiled with such affection, not even the graze of my dick fazed her in cleaning up together.
I would’ve brought down the world for her. We exited the shower and toweled ourselves, she said, “can we never be apart again for more than 12 hours?”, then she hugged me from behind, “can we always eat together?”, kissing my back, “can we sleep together every night?”, I replied, “I don’t know if I can fulfill all of those everyday, but I know this, you are mine,” pulling her into a gentle kiss that was the seal of our confessions. We got dressed, “You look great with the button-up that you ruined” she laughed, “I might leave this here as a memorial for our first time and leave shirtless”, I replied jokingly.
We both entered the living room and she immediately went to the kitchen to cook something up, “What about the leftovers, can’t we just eat that?”. She replied warmly with, “I want you to taste everything I planned over the 2 days, leftovers can be thought of later, my king”. Obviously teasing me but that definitely brought the rush out of me, the brief intermission of a wonderful quietness, one that was so cozy went on. I fulfilled my duties as chairman in the amount of time she spent cooking, in the beautiful silence.
She sat next to me, as close as possible, fabrics rubbing against each other. And we ate while watching Twin Peaks, until she was too scared to do so, then watched High and Low by Akira Kurosawa. After the meal, I went to the restroom, and I came out the room to see Ryujin sleeping the deepest I’ve seen yet. 
I picked her up to the bedroom and let her lay there, her soft breathing was adorable. I was tired too, I took the cover that was almost entirely wet and found another blanket, and I slept next to her, not bothering to take off my clothes
I woke up with the familiar discomfort of sleeping with clothes on, imprinted lines and heat. The morning haze pierced through the flying dust, with eyes still accustomed to shuteye. I didn’t move, despite the discomfort, it was unbelievably comfortable paradoxically. It was because she was next to me, she was perfect for a sleeping ad, perfectly on her back, with a slight grip on the cover and mouth agape with slow and steady breaths. I moved slightly to get a better look at her.
Her eyes fluttered open. There was a pause and she scanned the room; moved her hand to feel my arm, and we locked eyes affectionately. “I can’t believe this is real”, then she jumped to hug me. She was so warm, we stayed like that for a few minutes until I felt a dampness on my chest. Was she really crying? Why? I looked down and she buried her face into my chest, I was too busy enjoying the scent of her and I wanted to investigate what happened. I pulled her off of me, and her eyes were indeed wet, “I’m sorry, it’s just that I’m so happy and I don’t know what to say, I’m not sad, it just feels like I’m getting divine intervention or something,” she laughed as she wiped her wet eyes. 
I palmed the nape of her neck, and kissed her forehead then her lips. “You have to be so foul as to think I might leave again, you have utterly seduced me, my little doe,” I planted kisses on her and it was almost about to transition into a very welcome round of sex on her bed. Until a sudden bell rang on her door, she jumped trying to process what to do. “I’ll just stay on the bed”, she affirmed, and hastily went to the door, conveniently with her clothes on.
I heard the click of the door and a familiar voice ask, “Ryujin, what happened? I kept calling you and messaging you and you didn’t reply!”, “I was worried sick!” It was definitely Yeji. “But you literally live next to me!” Ryujin replied, irritated. 
“I know it’s our break and all, but I was kind of bored and I wanted to hang out. I kept calling you and I heard some weird noises next door but I ignored it, and then today you still didn’t pick up your phone…”
“Alright, calm down Yeji unnie, come on in.” Her voice is strangely calm and resolute.
I heard the door click and Yeji sitting down, they chatted about the group and other things. Yeji laughed and was definitely babying Ryujin. Their bond was great, their conversation was very smooth (whatever the hell that means). I don’t even know why I’m at the edge of the bed chiming in on what exactly they were saying. 
“Why have you been so absent though?” Yeji may have been a little foolish, but even she knows Ryujin was acting strange.
“Uhhh.. I don’t know, maybe I just changed all of a sudden”
“Is it about the Samsen Chairman Koji?”
Ryujin was resolute throughout the entire conversation but she stuttered all of a sudden…
Then she stuttered some more, and gave up on replying.
“Wow… I thought you were “immune to love” as you said before… cringy girl, and you even smell weird. Like the smell is some kind of masculine smell, I know you use unisex perfume and sometimes that can approach a masculine aspect but I don't think so..” She definitely knew something was up.
“Have you met up with him after that crazy hangover?” Yeji added on.
“Maybe”
“What!?” Yeji gasped.
“So what!?”
“You know JYP is not gonna like that.”
“Who cares… who cares… I’ll do what I want to do…”
“Is he here right now!?” Shit, she should be a private investigator…
“Mind your own business!” She yelped with excruciating embarrassment…
“Wow, you are really head over heels for him, Ms. Immune to Love, Ms. Resolute Girl Boss!!” She laughed hysterically, hearing what she said about love and how she interacts with people is definitely amusing.
“Well I should really mind my words if he really is here,” Yeji said as Ryujin probably planted her head in embarrassment. 
It’s probably my time to head out and greet her, I grasped the door handle and appeared. It was ridiculous, I had a completely destroyed white button-up that I held the “integrity” of with a pinch of my fingers.
Yeji gasped, “Oh my GOD!!! I’m so sorry sunbaenim… if you heard all of that I was just trying to tease her… I didn’t mean anything” she really seemed to be sincere about it, her mouth was agape with a slight happiness that she guessed something right for once, guess she really was teasing her about it.
I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say, what does a man who comes out of the bedroom with fucked up clothes, does he pose like batman with his fasts balled against his waist or something… fuck, should’ve thought about it a little more.
Ryujin looked back at me smiling with defeat in her eyes, begging with her eyes to resolve this crazy situation.
“Hello Yeji of ITZ…” I paused, Yeji looked disturbed, Ryujin giggled into her arms, Fuck Fuck Fuck already fucked it up.
“Hello Yeji, I am Ryujin’s boyfriend.” --------------
End Note: Hello, hopefully you enjoyed the fanfiction. I'm mainly gonna be doing Ryujin over and over again, she is just genuinely a goddess. For people who have ever even thought of writing fanfiction, do it immediately, it's a journal that you feel inclined to write because it's actually something of interest, as I rarely find myself interesting, not trying to be self-deprecating but writing in a journal is just impossible lol.
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notjustjavierpena · 9 months
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Where I'm Supposed To Be, a husband!Javier Christmas fic
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Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator
A/N: Here’s my Christmas present for you all. I wrote this with blood, sweat and tears. I love you. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful opportunity to make myself, and everyone who reads my work, happy due to a silly, little, fictional family. Thanks to @javiscigarette and @joels-shitty-puns for being amazing and caring ❤️ and obviously thank you @angelofsmalldeath-codeine for being my sweet Spanish tutor 😭🙏
Summary: Just Christmas morning with the Peñas. Lots of chaotic and sweet children but also some alone time between you and your husband who very much has a present for you this morning.
Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no y/n)
Tags: +18 smut, domestic life, three children being cute, unwrapping of gifts on Christmas morning, dancing to the radio, butterflies, being courted by javi, some rough pussy eating (javi is a cunning linguist and a fucking menace), nose riding, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, praises and pet names, rough sex, kitchen sex, lactation kink, tit play, bit of breeding kink. creampie, they are gross and in love, absolutely married to each other
Word count: 7.1k!!!!!
Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52364101
Where I’m Supposed To Be
Your eyes open wide as soon as you feel the weight of two children in your bed, and the realization of what day it is comes to mind. Since you are lying on your side, facing your husband, you watch the same shock settle in him as his own slumber is interrupted. Javier is lying on his stomach, hugging his pillow tightly, and when Inés starts jumping up and down at the foot of the bed, he shoots up to look around with a confused expression. You smile as he catches your eye. He yawns back at you. 
“Wake up! Wake up!” Inés’ squeaky voice announces. She sounds out of breath from jumping continuously, “It’s Christmas!”
The whole bed shakes. Lucas has joined in on the jumping, a contrast to his usually so well-behaved and calm manner, but you remember the magic excitement that Christmas brought along when you were a kid yourself. 
You yawn loudly to tease, turning onto your back. Inés barely survives the way you drag out waking up properly.
“Alright!” You sit up in bed with a little smile, letting your hands come down on top of the covers, “We’re up.”
“I’m not,” Javier grumbles into his pillow. Inés takes it as an opportunity to jump on her father’s back, sitting down on him with a knee on either side of his torso. You can hear the air being knocked from Javier’s lungs and can’t help but smile fully now, fighting a belly laugh as your insistent daughter starts tugging at his hair and shoulders.
“Come on, Mom!” Lucas begs too but without bordering on violence. He grabs at your hand to pull it, and you throw the covers to the side to let him lead you out of bed. 
“I’m coming, mijo (my son),” you say and slip on a t-shirt that you have laid out the day before; there’s been a fair amount of Christmas mornings at this point but with Inés getting older, and thus more steadfast in her personality, you have resorted to creating a system that you hope neither of your kids has realized exists. 
When Inés sees you out of bed, she quickly abandons her father at the realization of your willingness. Javier takes in a deep breath as he loses her weight on top of himself, imitating the sound of someone falling asleep again. You’ll let him for now; after all, he’s been the one up all night to arrange the presents so it looks like Santa came to visit. 
“I have to check on Seb first,” you inform their hopeful faces. Inés groans and even Lucas looks like he might join in but you don’t give in to being rushed, simply shrugging, “If you are quiet, he won’t wake up and it’ll be quicker.”
You grab the baby monitor from your nightstand and then your kids follow you down the hallway of family photos to Sebastian’s nursery. Your baby is sleeping soundly when all three of you enter ever so quietly, a sign of contentment and feeling safe, and you don’t dare reach out to touch him in case he is disturbed from his sleep, even despite him being the easiest one of all three, so often off to dreamland that you have had Javier needing to reassure you.
You stare down at Sebastian for a few moments. He has his arms above his head, hands squeezed into fists and his little mouth slightly agape. You can feel yourself being overcome with emotion as both Lucas and Inés observe their little brother’s slumber with you, and with such understanding in their eyes that you wish you could take a picture of them. They have all of their hands clutched around the railing of the crib to peek down at the baby. 
“Mom,” Lucas whispers without taking his eyes off Sebastian, “Can we please go see our presents?”
“Pleeeeease,” Inés follows.
“Okaaaay, let’s go,” you whisper back.
You leave the bedroom with the baby monitor in your hand and Inés hand clutched in your other, only to hold her in place in case she wants to run down the stairs. 
Both your kids’ eyes go wide as they enter the living room. There are several differently sized and shaped presents underneath the lit-up Christmas tree, sporting extravagant bows and wrapping paper designs. You know that none of them are for you but you’ll relish in your children’s faces as they run towards the pile. 
“Steady now,” you say as you place the baby monitor on the coffee table, “Everything has led up to this, I know, but we don’t want it to be over in a few minutes, do we? Let’s do one at a t—“
“But Santa’s been!” Inés shrieks in delight. Lucas looks at you, only seven years old and not convinced, and you wink at him only to receive a little smile. He looks pleased with himself, sharing a secret with his mother.
“Really? How do you know he has?” You say animatedly. It’s obvious, she tells you, look at the presents, but you distract her from ripping each of them open by walking up to gape at the empty plate and glass that are on the coffee table, gasping for show as if to imitate your daughter, “Inés! You’re right! Look!”
Inés whips around, darting towards you. She stares in shock. Lucas seems a little impatient, hovering around a big present that is for him, so you hold out your hand and call him over to look at the Santa-evidence too. 
He walks around the coffee table to lean against you instead, and you rest a hand on the back of his neck. You gently run your fingers through his hair, whispering to him as Inés lifts the plate to look underneath it.
“You’re the best big brother, sweetie,” you mutter and repeat the move, smoothing his bed hair. He leans into you further. 
“Look! All gone!” Inés parrots as she stares at the cookies that are nowhere to be found. Neither on or under the plate. 
Lucas still doesn’t look very convinced. In the future, you’ll tell him about the sugary kiss his father planted on your cheek when crawling into bed after eating cookies and drinking milk at three in the morning - and his preteen self will crinkle his nose in disgust.
Speaking of your husband, Javier enters the living room silently so as to not disturb Inés’ hunt for clues. He has put on a t-shirt that hangs over his boxers, looking beautifully disheveled, and you smile like a schoolgirl when he looks at you happily. 
“Is there anything else? Did he just leave behind all those great big presents?” You still talk excitedly, grinning as your daughter’s eyes scan the floor and ceiling. 
She continues to the fireplace, pointing out the small amount of soot mixed with glitter that you’ve spread out on the wooden floor, “He’s been! Look, Mommy!”
“Wow!” Javier now chimes in. Inés recognises his voice instantly and she runs to her father the second that she hears him. Javier picks her up from the ground with the groan of a father to settle her on his hip. He kisses her cheek repeatedly until he blows a raspberry, “He did all that for you?” 
Inés giggles like only a child can. You want to melt. She claps excitedly, “All for me.”
“You must’ve been very good this year, mija (my daughter),” he says, ruffling her already messy hair. She shies away from it but throws her arms around his neck as soon as he has stopped, burying her head in his shoulder. 
Lucas shifts impatiently but he doesn’t say anything. 
“You want to open a present?” You whisper to him. 
“Can I?” He whispers back with wide eyes.
“They still have a few clues to go through, outside even,” you crouch down to kiss his cheek from behind, hugging him close to you, “If you want to, I’ll let you. I’ll choose though.”
In the background, Javier catches on. He places Inés back down on the floor, holding out his hand for her and winking at his son whilst talking to his daughter, “Do you want to see if Rudolph ate the carrots you laid out for him on the doorstep?”
Inés, completely ignoring the offered hand, starts running towards the front door whilst naming other reindeer too. It’s Texan Christmas, so there’s no point in putting on a jacket for going outside, and the sudden silence of the front door closing behind her and Javier makes you strike.
You let go of Lucas to get his present from under the tree, searching only briefly as if you’re choosing something random. There’s a point to this but you don’t want to take out the magic of the moment.
Lucas sits down on the floor as he is handed the gift. He doesn’t hesitate to tear its wrappings off, and when he throws it to the side, he gasps at the sight of his very own brand new Game Boy that you have wrapped along with a few games. It’s a strategic move to let him open it now; Inés won’t try to steal it in the middle of Christmas family time if she isn’t aware of him getting it. 
“No way!” Lucas’ eyes are wide. He holds the Game Boy in its packaging in front of himself, not taking his eyes off of it in case it might disappear if he looks away, “Mom!”
“It’s the one you wanted, right?” You ask, rubbing his back and looking down at the cover over his shoulder, “Lord knows if I have a clue about what it does.”
“This is so cool,” he says, mostly to himself, and then looks up at you with a wide grin that reminds you that he is his father’s son, “Thanks, Mom!” 
“But I need you to wait to use it till after Inés is done with her presents, okay? I know you’re excited but you’ll have the whole day, no?”
“Entiendo, (I understand),” he nods, getting up from the floor very carefully as he still has the Game Boy in his hands, “¿ Lo tengo que compartir? (do I have to share it?)
“You might have to share it sometimes but it’s yours first and foremost,” you say with a little smile, “I think Inés might just want to see you play and then you can let her try it a few times. If it’s too much, we’ll figure something out.”
Lucas hugs you then, tightly and lovingly. He buries his head in your stomach and he doesn’t have to say anything because you know exactly what he wants to say with his embrace. It’s enough to make you choke up a second time today. 
When Javier and Inés return back inside the living room, Inés talking loudly, Javier gets a pair of scissors and a bag for the wrappings from the kitchen. You quickly add Lucas’ gift wrap to it to conceal any evidence of having started without Inés.
“Mom! Rudolph ate the carrots we laid out!” She beams. 
“He didn’t!” You walk up to her to make it seem like you are listening even more actively. You lean down over her with your hands on your thighs, feeling Javier’s eyes on you as you bend over, “Oh boy, I’m glad you remembered to feed them so Santa could reach all the kids without them getting tired and hungry.”
“Can we open presents now?” She inquires, falling to her knees in front of the Christmas tree. She looks back at you, suddenly very serious, “Are there any presents for Sebastian?” 
“Yes, Sebastian has a few presents too,” you reply.
It takes her a moment to think this fact over. She furrows her brow in concentration, going over the logistics of an infant opening Christmas gifts. Eventually, she stares at you and places a hand on her chest, “I— I will open Sebastian’s presents.”
You want to laugh and in the background, Javier actually does, “You can help Lucas open the presents for him.”
Lucas sits on the floor beside Inés but closer to the tree. He seems less anxious to begin now that he’s had a head start on his little sister so he reaches under the tree to find a present with her name on it, checking in with his father who nods and lets him proceed.
Inés eyes go wide as the gift is put down on the floor in front of her, and Javier moves to help her with cutting the ribbon. You take a seat on the couch to watch the scene unfold, her eyes practically sparkling with excitement as receives her first Christmas gift; a stuffed toy resembling a dinosaur that she keeps tucked under her arm during the whole thing. 
The rest of the unwrapping session goes with you letting out a series of oohs and aahs as each toy, which you have picked out yourself at the toy store, is revealed. It’s all a blur of plastic and noises, cries for batteries and Javier shushing his daughter when her pitch climbs a little too high. 
Lucas is in charge of handing out gifts, and you praise him for each card that he reads out loud successfully. Whenever he tries reaching for a certain gift for Inés, Javier shakes his head, and he moves on to the next despite the curiosity nearly killing him. 
Steadily, both Inés and Lucas each have a growing pile of toys, clothes, and snacks beside them. 
Lucas receives, amongst other things, a pair of light-up shoes that he has begged for months to get. He also gets a wooden tow truck with four magnetic cars and an unbelievable stack of Pokemon cards. 
Inés gets a few puzzles, markers, a microphone that makes an echo when you speak into it (a toy that might just disappear out of the blue with no explanation), and a collection of animal stickers. 
Lucas looks overwhelmed by the end. Inés looks far from done, so she is the one who gets to unwrap Sebastian’s new mobile with small UFOs and cows on it, a pair of cute shoes, and a hat to match.
Finally, Lucas gets the green light from his father to grab the mysterious present. He looks like someone who wants to tear off the paper so he can satisfy his curiosity but Inés is already beating him to it. There’s an anticipation of it being the final stages of the unwrapping process that hangs in the air, and everything is going well until your daughter crinkles her nose at the sight of what she has received from Santa.
“Mom,” she starts to say, cogs turning in her head. She turns to you, looking skeptical. Inside the package is a helmet, more specifically a bike helmet, in a soft green color with daisies painted onto it in a pattern not too harsh on the eyes. 
Lucas catches on a little quicker, “She’s getting a bike?!”
“A bike!” Inés yells out, standing up quickly, “Where? Wherewherewhere?”
“Inés, por favor (please),” you can’t help but laugh at her excited shock, “Let Papá get it for you.”
And moments later, Javier wheels a bike, so tiny that it is cute, into the living room. Its color matches the green on her new helmet, and on the handles hang white tassels with yellow flecks of glitter in them. The also has training wheels on it but with the amount of unrelenting bravery and determination that Inés has for new things, you doubt that she will be needing them for long.
Inés has gone quiet as she stares at her new bicycle which is very much not like the one without pedals she has. She gapes at it and it makes you and Javier exchange looks. Javier shrugs.
“Inés,” you start but you are interrupted by your daughter’s infectious laughter. She jumps on the spot, yanking at the handle and pulling it towards herself. You let out a sigh of relief, warmth flooding your heart at hearing her.
“I want to try it now!” She demands, giggling happily as she runs her hands through the tassels. 
“We can do it after breakfast, Daddy will take you out for a test drive,” you say, getting up from the couch to crouch down beside her. You admire the bike with her, continuing your reasoning when she starts to protest, “One should never try to learn how to ride a bike without having breakfast. Not even the coolest girls can do that.”
“I can!” She argues. In the background, Lucas turns his back to the three of you to sneak a peek at his Game Boy. 
“Actually, mija (my daughter),” Javier interjects. He opens the box containing the biking helmet, pulls it out, and walks over to his daughter, “Bike racers need to try out their helmets for at least an hour or two to break them in and to make sure they fit. Imagine if you got onto the bike and your helmet wouldn’t let you ride it.”
Inés furrows her brow but doesn’t look like she’s about to argue with her father’s logic. She glances at the bike and then at the helmet in Javier’s hands, quickly coming to a decision.
“I want to wear the helmet!” She says. 
“Excellent choice,” he replies and you snort.
Inés proudly wears the helmet a few seconds later. You wonder how you are going to get her dressed for going outside with it on her head but you suppose you’ll pass the task to Javier.
“Wait,” Lucas says suddenly, crawling underneath the tree to reach far underneath it. A small present rests along the foot of the tree, and he pulls it out only to find that there’s no card on it. He furrows his brow, “There’s one left.”
Inés looks nearly hungry for more.
Javier turns, obviously not expecting this.
“Actually,” you say and make Lucas hand it over. Holding the gift close to your chest, you walk up to Javier, “This one is for Daddy.” 
“Me?” Javier looks puzzled but then he smirks, as if he has decided something that you aren’t a part of yet. You feel your heart skip a beat as all three of you catch onto the mischief in his eyes. If only you knew that mischief is just for you. He snatches the present from you and shakes it. 
“It’s just something silly,” you say, “But it’s for work!”
Inés and Lucas are watching curiously, standing on their toes so they don’t miss anything. 
“Rip it, Dad,” Lucas encourages.
“Yeah!” Inés chimes in, holding onto her helmet as she tips her head. You’ll have to adjust it.
“Alright, I’m gonna, I’m gonna,” he does as he is told, letting the wrapping paper fall into a pile on the floor, beside the garbage bag that he has brought himself, and reveals a hideous, rolled-up tie with a Christmas theme. It is dark red with tiny cartoon Christmas lights and trees, crisscrossing across the silky fabric. It’s ugly, for sure, but it makes Javier’s face light up like he can’t quite believe that he has reached this destination; a life of kids and silly Christmas presents, and exactly where he is supposed to be.
“That’s boring!” Inés complains. 
“Mija (My daughter), that’s not very nice,” Javi tuts, smoothing a thumb over his present. He grins boyishly at you, and when he approaches you, he wraps an arm around your waist to give you a squeeze, “I love it.”
“You don’t have to wear it,” you reassure.
“I might just. The guys know I’m happily married to a catch like you so why shouldn’t I show it off?” He holds it up in front of himself, “How do I look?”
“Silly,” Inés argues. Lucas grimaces behind her.
You raise a brow, biting your lower lip as you grin, “You wouldn’t.”
“Sí. Gracias, mi amor (yes. Thank you, my love),” he kisses you in front of your kids, and both of them make disgusted faces. Inés even adds a gagging noise, saying something about cooties. 
Javier doesn’t let go of you when he turns his head towards them. He clicks his tongue disapprovingly, “Hey, you behave or I might do it again.”
“No!” They shout in unison.
“I should’ve gotten you something,” Javier says as he turns towards you again. You shake your head but then you feel his hand on your back travel down, “Maybe later.”
Quickly, you pull back. 
“Right,” you say, clasping your hands together and trying not to sound flustered, “Let’s say two hours tops. Then we’ll have breakfast together. Hot chocolate and all.”
When the gift rush comes to an end, Javier starts carrying all of the shiny new toys upstairs with a groan. He scolds gently as he has two tiny and enthusiastic humans bounding up the stairs, telling them to be careful. 
Meanwhile, you head to the kitchen and turn on the radio. You place the baby monitor on the counter, humming along as you prepare a sugary breakfast that you always regret afterward when you have to endure two sugar-high children. 
As you are toasting bread and filling bowls with candy canes and marshmallows, Javier enters the kitchen. You smile to yourself as he wraps his arms around you from behind, placing a kiss on your neck, “Morning. I put a movie on, so they’ll be occupied by that and their presents for a while now. Checked on Seb too, he’s fine.”
“That went well,” you say genuinely, “Don’t you think?”
“Mhm, the unwrapping? Definitely,” he murmurs against your ear, resting his forehead on your shoulder, “They didn’t even notice how I was staring at you.”
“How were you staring at me?” You ask, your heart fluttering in your chest.
“No particular way,” he teases and you try to concentrate on cutting fruit into smaller pieces. 
In the background, a slow melody hums through the kitchen. Javier’s hands wander down to settle on your hips, and you finally allow yourself to let go of the knife, give in, and turn around in his arms. 
“Merry Christmas,” you smile.
“Dance with me,” he replies. 
You walk further into his embrace, linking your arm around his waist and resting your chin on his shoulder. He entwines your fingers and rubs the back of your hand with his thumb as he sways with you in time with the song on the radio. 
As he moves you, your heads lean together, cheeks touching gently, and he radiates warmth and security. It makes you close your eyes and sigh softly, allowing yourself to be transported into a fantasy where you aren’t just wearing your underwear and a washed-out t-shirt. 
The hand that isn’t holding yours rests on your lower back, pulling you in after he twirls you once. You giggle when he beams at you but then you resume the first position, shifting your weight from one foot to the other, slowly turning, whilst Javier’s mouth rests just below your temple. 
And then you feel his nose brush against the side of your face as if he is starting to pull away, and a desperate voice inside of you wants to protest but the logical one tells you to go with the flow. The tip of his nose is warm even against your flushing skin, and by instinct, you pull away slightly to admire the gorgeous curve of it up close. Javier interrupts by kissing you instead. He captures your lips in the most drawn-out hot kiss, pouring with desire and devotion. 
“Tell me you love me like I love you,” you plea breathlessly. 
“I love you like you love me,” he tells you without hesitation, squeezing your hand, “Y  les quiero a Lucas y Inés y Sebastian (and I love Lucas and Inés and Sebastian).”
You respond by kissing him again, just about to slide your tongue across his lips and into his mouth when the song ends. 
He reluctantly lets go of you. However, instead of helping you cook breakfast, he starts moving things from one side of the kitchen table to the other; out of your reach. 
“Javi, what are you doing?” You start to protest.
“Let’s make another,” he suddenly says.
“Another?” You furrow your brow in confusion.
“A fourth one,” he explains as he stands in front of you, making you bump into the counter, “Un bebito (a little baby). Right now.” 
“Jesus, Javi,” you can feel his fingers dig into the waistband of your underwear. Blood goes to your core incredibly fast, “Sebastian is four months old.”
“If we start trying now…” His fingers start dragging the fabric down over your ass and thighs, “We’ll have one by next Christmas.”
“We can’t go at it right here,” you scold but don’t try to stop him. Instead, you step out of your underwear as they pool around your feet. 
“I told you,” he reminds you, already sinking to his knees with a self-satisfied look on his face, “That I put on a movie. They won’t even hear you.”
You lean your ass against the counter and then dare to hook a leg over his shoulder whilst balancing on the other. One hand grips the edge of the counter and the other rests on top of his hair, fingers threading through it as you wait patiently for him to put his mouth on you. 
“This your present then?” You tease him, yanking to make him look up at you.
“I think we’re both getting too much out of it to call it your present,” he points out. His eyes go down to stare right between your thighs and you find yourself clenching around nothing as arousal threatens to drip down your thighs, “Joder (fuck), look at you. Can I have it now?”
“Y-yeah,” you stutter. Your teasing has ceased after hearing him swear from just watching your quivering pussy. You swallow thickly, a breath hitching in your throat as Javier’s hand slides up the back of the leg you are standing on until it rests on the back of your thigh. He squeezes and you hold your breath, “Please.” 
He looks up at you through his lashes, no mischief to be found but rather absolute worship, as he closes his mouth around you, velvety tongue sliding between your folds to lap at your clit. You tighten the grip on his hair as heat flows through your lower body, your mouth falling open in a soft gasp. 
“I can’t stand still,” you half-laugh whilst he eats you. Each pulse of your heart can be felt in your clit, which he sucks and laps at until you can’t breathe. He knows how to make you come so fast that blood drains from your head to your cunt and thighs and makes you keen.
“Then don’t, mi amor (my love),” he says matter-of-factly as he pulls back to breathe, hair a mess and chin shiny with your slick, “Fuck yourself onto me, Momma, I know you love that.”
You instantly curl your toes at the suggestion. Javier dives back in, lowers his head slightly to tease your slit with the tip of his filthy tongue. God, the way he can roll those Rs, calling you his love in his mother tongue, translates so well into this. Coming on his face from your own doing? Yes, that’s exactly what you want. 
Without thinking it over much more, you tighten the leg that you slung over Javier’s shoulder earlier around him. With a hand in his hair and the other one tightly around the edge of the kitchen table, you move until Javier’s tongue is sliding inside of you and his nose catches your clit. It sends pleasure rocking down your spine, your pulse spiking instantly as you start working yourself toward orgasm.
“Fuck,” you groan while moving on him, rolling your hips. Your balance is off like this but Javier slides the hand on your thigh up to splay his palm across your side. You lean your body’s weight into his hand and use the support to press harder into his nose, feeling the flutters of an orgasm approaching as the curve of it slides up and down your clit just as you would do it if you were touching yourself, “I’m gonna- ah, gonna come. Fuck, you make me come so hard! Ah–”
Javier makes a satisfied noise against you, stiffening his tongue to let you use it even more. You don’t even need to have him speaking, know that he would tell you to give it to me, and when you finally tip over the edge, you feel him pulling your hand from the kitchen table to entwine your fingers. 
“Fuck, Javi, fuckfuckfuck, baby, don’t stop,” you pant, squeezing his hand so hard that a fleeting thought makes you worry if you might break bone. You ride his tongue, his nose, and come so hard that you make him whimper as you pull at his hair. 
He doesn’t let you go when it dies down. Instead, he slowly rises from the floor and lifts you along with him due to your leg still being slung over his shoulder and back. His mouth doesn’t leave you, even when he falters briefly, as he settles you down on the counter. 
You want to scream but even a movie cannot drown out the noise building in your throat, so you cover your mouth with your free hand. Something besides you falls over, you knock your head into the kitchen cabinets and whereas Javier would’ve checked in on you, he eats your cunt so enthusiastically that you can feel your body wanting to come again.
The whine you let out is sinful with how much you struggle to muffle it. You reach for Javier’s hair but he catches your wrist and pins it down against the tabletop. When you try to reach for it again, this time with your other hand, he does the same until you can’t take the slightest bit of control. 
He makes you come again in less than a minute. It is earth-shattering, causing you to throw your head back and bump it into the cabinet once more. You thrash and cry, burning with pleasure as he hollows his cheeks from sucking your clit.
You start giggling from the dopamine, knowing it’s a better way to get out noise than crying for him. Your legs twitch as he devours the wetness you spill into his mouth.
Finally, he removes his mouth from your sticky mess of a cunt and kisses up under your loose t-shirt until you can’t see his face anymore. He smears your slick across your belly, resting his head just above your belly button, and chuckles. 
“You’re so,” you begin but you don’t know how to finish the sentence. He lets you move your hands again and you proceed to pet the top of his head through the fabric of your shirt.
“Sexy? Devoted? ¿Loco por ti (crazy about you)?” His breathing is uneven.
“I was going to call you a goof,” you correct him, lifting the shirt up to reveal him again. When he lifts his head to roll his eyes at you, you use the hem of your shirt to wipe his mouth and thus make him grimace. 
“What a mom-move,” he teases.
“Shut up,” you laugh.
“I did mean it,” he adds, stretching and placing a palm on the counter on either side of your body, “I’ll cut down on work. I’ll be home more with you and the kids. Just until everything falls into place. We could get a babysitter.”
“Javi—“ 
“I think it could work,” he interrupts, “And if we want any more - kids, I mean - I feel like we should do it now and not wait.”
“Javi,” you reach up to cup his face gently. There’s no need for this conversation now, and there’s no doubt that you want to give him many more children if he wants. Technicalities can be discussed further down the road, and Inés is somewhat already counting for two kids so how should you not be able to handle a fourth? You kiss his lips, keeping your noses touching when you pull back again, “Just fuck me, baby. We can talk about it later.”
“Right,” he blinks his puppy eyes away.
You hungrily watch him pull his cock free from his boxers before stepping between your legs which you wrap around his waist, pulling him closer and moving yourself forward to the edge of the kitchen table. You are itching to feel him inside of you, your body feeling like it is missing something after going this long since you started to feel turned on. 
“Please,” you whine. 
“Relax,” he orders simply as he aligns his hips with yours. The sweet voice from before is gone and there’s no doubt that he’ll start speaking filth soon. You obey and go back to leaning against the cabinets, eyes half-lidded with lust as he runs the head of his cock through your folds in a way that has you whimpering with how sensitive you are.
When you get impatient, you reach down to guide the tip where you want it and shudder as he dips inside of you. He holds your gaze but as you want to look down at where the two of you are connected, he reaches for your chin with a shaky hand. You pant, eyes looking up as he forces your head up again. 
“That’s it,” he praises, holding your chin between his thumb and forefinger while moving forward and pushing into you. Your brows furrow at the stretch of your sensitive cunt but you still manage to hold his gaze despite wanting to close your eyes, and it earns you another praise, “Good girl, thaaat’s it, you focus on me, focus right here.”
When you smile sweetly at his words, he starts moving inside of you. The first roll of his hips makes your mind go blank and your noises climb in pitch. He fucks you against the counter, broad hands sliding up the back of your thighs to rest against the small of your back. It’s relentless, it’s desperate and it’s incredibly hot.
You settle your hands on his biceps, holding on for dear life as he thrusts hard enough to make your touching skin smack with each movement. You look up at the ceiling briefly, wondering if the moans you are letting out can be heard by your kids because Javier’s cock is hitting something inside of you that makes you want to sob. 
“El ruido (the noise)— shit, d-don’t worry about it,” Javier notices your mind drifting to concern, and so he slows down slightly to catch your attention. He kisses your lips between each word and drinks each noise you make from your mouth, “You sound so beautiful for me, amor. Forget about them, they’re fine.”
You nod repeatedly, whining feeble okays when he goes back to the harder thrusts from before, making you grab at his muscles until it’s not enough anymore and you have to dig your nails into them. His harshness makes your full tits bounce underneath the t-shirt too, and you let them until you know what’s coming; the happy chemicals in your body provoke it so often this time around. 
You cover your breasts with your palms and squeeze until you feel your pussy flutter, somehow creating a direct line to your pulsing, untouched clit. You follow it up by tugging slightly on your nipples too, all the while you repeat Javier’s name as if to get his attention, as if to say it in prayer. His gaze drops and his eyes nearly roll back into his skull as you start soaking through your shirt with milk. 
“You filthy girl,” he growls, “Pull it up for me. Lemme see.”
“Fuck, I— I think I’m close,” you half-moan and half-giggle, yanking your t-shirt up and watching the steady trickle of your milk. The way that Javier watches makes your cunt want to pull him in further but you don’t think he can go any deeper, so instead you hold him tightly with your legs so he can only grind roughly into you. 
Your stomach flips as Javier’s expert tongue laps at a trail of milk. He sucks along the streak it has already made until he can close his lips, swollen from kisses, around your nipple. When he sucks, you almost cry for your maker and you swear that you can hear how much wetter you get. 
“Where was this for my cookies last night, huh, Momma?” He asks with milk-stained lips and a smirk, cock touching inside of you just how you want it. 
“You’re so - fuck, baby, I’m gonna come soon - you’re so gross,” your eyes close, your belly tightens and so you concentrate to get there, “What wouldn’t Santa think? Cookies and breast milk?”
Javier laughs genuinely at that and you moan at the feeling of him being inside of you whilst doing it. He shifts so that his hands end up flat against the counter, underneath your knees, and he can lean into you further, “Watch it. Maybe Santa’s a kinky fucker like your husband.”
“My husband,” you repeat as if it’s turning you on just to refer to him like that. Even after years.
“Fuck yes, I’m your husband. Wife,” Javier aims to kiss you hard but the strain on his body to make you come makes him press his lips to your jaw. He continues upwards, mouthing along your chin and cheek. He speaks with ragged breath into the corner of your open mouth.
“Listen to you,” he pants as you reel with pleasure, sweat collecting at his brow. He is concentrating too but he still manages to tease, “Who are you making those pretty noises for?”
“Para tí (for you),” you moan with furrowed eyebrows, “Sólo  para tí, Javi (only for you, Javi).”
“I know— fuck, I know, baby, oh fuck, I can feel you,” he gasps as you clench around him without warning. Everything snaps and then launches into overwhelming spasms that overtake your whole lower body, clenching and unclenching in waves of pleasure. You sob as you come a third time this morning, arms falling to the counter and thighs trembling as you ride it out.
Javier looks like he is in awe as he always does. His pace picks up to near his own peak, and he kisses your mouth before going down your chin, neck, and shoulder, “You’re going to be the death of me, mi amor. You and this pretty pussy… So good at taking my come and making me a Papá.”
You can only cry feebly as he drives his cock in and out of you. The sound sends him into a frenzy, and he makes you whimper at the feeling of him coming inside of your cunt. He twitches with oversensitivity and pulses with each spurt of his warm seed, his breath is shaky and his forehead is against yours. His skin is burning hot, flushing with the way that his heart is hammering in his chest as he contorts his face with a groan of pleasure. It goes on for a moment until he slumps, head falling to your shoulder instead. 
Javier chuckles against the damp and hot skin of your neck from dopamine, pressing a long open-mouthed kiss to it and glancing down at your chest that still heaves for breath. Your gray shirt still sits above your tits and it clings to your body from how it’s been soaked through by your milk. Javier reaches out to circle a flushed nipple with the pad of his thumb, causing your body to shiver. 
“Stop,” you moan through post-coital bliss, not able to do much but rest against the kitchen cabinets. It almost feels like you want to cry in his arms, “Too sensitive.”
Javier removes his hand, “Sorry, mi vida (my life). You okay?”
“Mejoramos cada vez, ¿no? (We get better each time, no?)” You smile lazily. 
He hums in response, agreeing. With his palms flat on the counter, he catches your mouth in a long kiss and you reach up to cup the back of his head. The hair there is sweaty, creating a patch on his shirt right around his neck. 
You want to drown in him, not letting him pull all the way back when he breaks the kiss for air. He rests his nose against your cheek and exhales deeply, “We can’t stay here forever. I gotta fucking sit down too.”
“I need to finish breakfast,” you mumble with your eyes closed as if you’re in the state of being able to do that.
“What you need is a shower,” Javier laughs, kissing the corner of your mouth. He sighs deeply as he stretches to his full height, stepping away from you to let you jump down, “I’ll finish up here. Disinfect the counter, maybe. Then I’ll shower after you.” 
You look at the clock on the kitchen wall before hopping down, “We have a little more than an hour.”
“Think we can manage,” he shrugs. 
You put on the underwear that Javier discarded you of earlier, snapping the elastic as you pull them up over your hips. Javier grins at you, not hiding the way that he is eyeing you up as he puts on his own underwear.
“Wash your hands too, yes?” You tease, leaving him in the kitchen to watch your ass when your back is turned.
“Yes, Mom,” he calls after you.
You try to ignore the feeling of come dripping into your panties as you walk up the stairs, grimacing to yourself and quickly throwing them in the wash along with your shirt when you get into the bathroom. 
The shower spray feels amazing against your skin but nothing feels as good as when you hear Javier talking to Sebastian further down the hall as he gets him out of bed. Even better when you hear him burst the door open to the kids’ playroom, Inés giggling and Lucas following behind as he makes a remark about them being up to something. 
“Who wants to help me and Sebastian make pancakes?” Javier asks. When you close your eyes, you can see Inés and Lucas’ hands shoot up and then you hurry to finish so you can join them as soon as possible. You’ve never given it any real thought but you find that you, too, are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
.
.
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damn-stark · 1 month
Text
Chapter 17 And now we are one
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Chapter 17 of Moonlight
A/N- Peak soulmatism unlocked: Both having mommy issues
Warning- Swearing, talks of pregnancy, blood, violence, death, ANGST!!, FLUFF!!, SPOILERS, LONG CHAPTER.
Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader
Episode- 2x08 & 2 scenes used from 1x07
(If you want to be tagged let me know)
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The truth lies behind that door. With her, the Red Priestess—or more so the fire is imbued with the wisdom of the past, the future, and every single second that lives around you.
You need to know if it’s true that Addam and Alyn are your grandfather's bastards, and you know he won’t tell you so you have to go to the one person who will. But…a part of you does not want to find out. You'll undoubtedly get the truth when you ask, and when you find out then you will be plagued with the fear that yet another title will be taken from your grasp.
Then again you also won’t rest easy if you don’t know, it will be like a splinter in a finger, you can’t get it out but you feel it embedded under your skin. It’ll be pestering, so you need to know. You must.
But you need to know alone.
“Stay here, Ser’s,” you order your sworn protectors, but as easy as it is for Ser Jason to listen, Ser Cane is not as obedient, in the sense that he’s overprotective.
“Really, I will be fine she will not hurt me,” you insist and step back towards the house with the red door, but Ser Cane still does not seem convinced in letting you enter that house alone.
Thus you try to ease that furrowed brow. “Give me ten minutes. If I am not out by then you can go in after me, hm?”
Ser Cane's pierced glare drifts to the red door and he hesitates before he groans and nods in comprehension, letting you let out a deep breath before you turn on your heels and approach the red door. Albeit when you’re standing in front of that door, you raise your hand and fist it, but don’t let your knuckles rap on the door.
You hesitate and nervously watch the door with deep breaths escaping from your lips. In that moment, focusing on a rather insignificant detail on the door to distract yourself from what’s to come, which is the chipped red paint unveiling white wood.
White wood like the one you find from Weirwood trees. It’s unmistakable.
Huh.
“How odd,” you muse and brush the tip of your finger on the softened wood.
You’ve never seen a door made of weirwood.
A sharp cry of a babe then breaks the silence behind the chipped red door and pulls you back to why you’re here, and it’s not to study this beautiful door. You’re here to see Kinvara, so you draw out a deep breath and announce your sudden visit with a knock.
A minute of silence passes before a familiar voice invites you inside. A voice you want to question, but it also captivates you right away so you let it lure you in, finding that Kinvara does not come to welcome you inside, you just mindlessly open the door.
Once you’re inside you’re not greeted by the cold abandonment, a cozy warmth radiating from two tall fire columns at either side of the red door welcomes you inside, not Kinvara, she’s nowhere in sight. Yet the cries of the babes still echo from a nearby room, and sniffles now accompany it, as if the person who invited you inside is crying with the baby. But who is it?
“Kinvara?” You call out and close the door behind you without looking back. You just close the red door behind you and your feet follow the cries of the babe until you walk past long red drapes, and reach a hall with a single white-wooded table in the center and on top of it a fire bowl with an intense fire dancing within.
“Kinvara?” You call out again and look around the hall, but darkness seeps out of every corridor you look at except for the corridor you just walked down, forcing you to stay put where you stand and wait?
She did call you in. Or someone did.
The babe is still crying, and sniffling and soft weeping make their way into your ears, but now it sounds louder. As if you’re in the same room, but where are they? There’s nothing here but the white-wooded table and the fire.
“Kinvara, where—”
“Laenor?”
Every muscle in your body paralyzes, and your breath catches in your throat.
Did you just hear right? Did someone call your father's name?
Your eyes frantically search the hall, but all you find are shadows and specks of dust that float within the light that reflects on every wall.
“Rhaenyra!”
That’s…your father’s voice. No matter how long you’ve lived without him you will always recognize his voice, it’s recorded in your memories forever, so you know right away that you hear your father call out for your mother from inside the flames.
There’s no mistaking where the voices come from, they don’t echo off the walls anymore. It comes from the flames and no amount of warnings that your mind throws at you keeps your eyes from flying to the fire.
You focus your gaze on the fire and right away you forget who you came in search of, you forget the reason you even came; the truth you seek, and entrap all your attention in the flames that paint a vivid image of your mothers old quarters of when she lived in the Red Keep. It’s unmistakable, you see every detail clearly, not misty, or blurred by some dreamy screen, it’s as if you’re actually standing inside, living in the moment that the fire conjures up for you.
But what moment is it? There are some items in the room that you no longer recognize. It’s decorated a bit differently since you last remember, and a cradle sits in the room. People are inside as well, one you recognize as Grand Maester Orwyle, and an armada of handmaidens and wet nurses frantically pacing all over the room, but mainly they gather around the bed, blocking the view of the one they’re tending to.
“A girl,” your father's voice travels out from the group around the bed and catches you by surprise again, but this time rather than being struck with disbelief, you’re completely captivated with relief and awe that you get to hear his voice again. It’s been so long since you’ve heard his sweet voice. You missed it so much.
All you want to do now is follow it, so you do as if entranced by his voice, and once you're past the sea of bodies you come to find your mother on the bed…
“Mama,” your voice trembles, but she does not hear. No one does, life is moving all around you. It’s like you’re a ghost watching over this moment in time when your mother is not the woman that you know now. This version of her is still her but she’s younger in appearance. A lot younger, but still very beautiful. She actually looks around your age.
She probably is…
Which means that the bundle she’s cradling in her arms is…you?
You notice specks of silver-white hair peeking out of the blanket, but that’s all, everything else is covered with the blanket. But you don’t really need to break your head to know it must be you, your mother was young when she had you.
“She,” your mother cries as she rocks you to try and calm you down. “She was not breathing when she came out. She-she…” she trails off and once again her weeping fills the room.
This time though she does not cry for long, she’s quickly cooed at. “She’s breathing now. Look at her, she's crying now. She's okay. She’s alive. Our girl is alive.”
It's your father, you see him now. You were so focused on the image of your mother that you did not notice him sitting on the edge of the bed until now. He’s here, and just like your mother, he’s younger too, but unlike before now tears slowly escape out of your eyes and roll down the curve of your cheeks, whilst a smile trembles on your lips.
“Father,” you whimper and walk closer to him.
Albeit just as you put your hand out a louder voice catches your attention. One you recognize right away as your mother's voice, but not the voice that greeted you inside, this one sounds more mature, like the voice that belongs to her now. “I need you, Uncle.”
Just like before you’re entranced to follow the voice with little control of your own body, finding yourself approaching the balcony of your mother's room.
“<I cannot face the greens alone. They are already sending my only daughter away from me,>” your mother's voice continues to travel out, but this time her words are in High Valyrian and full of desperation. “<Let us bind our blood, just as Aegon the Conqueror did with his sisters.>”
You want to stop approaching the balcony as the words she says push out that bliss you were just overcome with and instead start filling you with anxiety as you don’t know what you’re walking to exactly. Yet your feet keep moving towards the balcony.
“<With you as my husband and Prince consort, my claim would not be so easily challenged.>”
Your breathing punctures as her words hit your ears and your mind slowly finds the meaning behind them.
“<The Velaryons are of the sea, but you and I are made of fire.>”
No…no…please.
You finally reach the balcony doors and no matter how much you want to stop and stay inside secured by the safety of the unknown, you walk out and right away you’re transported to a vast scenery; one with open water stretching out for miles, a boat sailing away in the distance with three dragons accompanying it, while there before you stands your mother as you know her now, and Daemon Targaryen overlooking the beautiful sea.
“<We have always been meant to burn together>.”
“We could not marry unless Laenor were dead,” Daemon breaks his silence to remind your mother of a cruel wicked fact. A fact she’s not phased by. A fact that you see did not slip her mind.
“I know,” she mutters.
It seems that she had already thought about it herself before Daemon even spoke it out loud for her and the sea to hear.
“I will not be a tyrant and rule through terror,” your mother continues to say, and your mind continues to unravel what all this means. Your heart tries hard to keep you from taking it all in, but your mind is persistent in hurting you.
“A tyrant rules only through terror,” Daemon clarifies for her. “If the King isn’t feared he is powerless. If you are to be a strong Queen, you must cultivate love and respect, yes, but your subjects must fear you.”
“I do love Laenor. He gave me my daughter.” Your mother’s words now also tug at your aching heart, making it start to bleed.
“Then grant him this kindness. Set him free,” Daemon says, making you shake your head and back up with disbelief now also consuming your heart.
“This will cost Lord Corlys and Princess Rhaenys their only remaining child,” your mother keeps feeding into this evil idea.
She is the one who brought it up but you still want her to refuse it. She needs to. Please…
“And it will cost my daughter…her father,” she tears at your heart now, making streams of tears flow down your face.
“She will be away by then,” Daemon attempts to comfort your mother who has her head down to watch as she fiddles with her rings, and hides tears that are born for you and the pain that she knows his death would cause you.
“The realm will whisper that I was somehow responsible,” your mother brings up, and Daemon is quick to retort.
“Let them whisper.”
But she couldn’t have. She wasn’t the one who…who…killed your father. No. It was always just supposed to be Daemon out of selfish greed. It was always just supposed to be him.
“We will know the truth of it,” Daemon continues. “And our enemies won’t.”
“They will fear what else we might be capable of,” your mother adds and only reassures your bleeding heart that she—that she always had a hand in taking your father away from you. She worked with Daemon to get rid of your beloved father, she’s the reason you knew heartbreak, she’s the reason you mourned alone, why you hated singing for five years of your life, she…
And all to marry some old man! All just to be with him!
Yes, you heard her reasoning, but you can’t accept it. You can’t accept it over your sorrow and new coming grief. All you know now is that she killed your father just to be with Daemon. She…
Why are you seeing this?! Why?!
“Let me out!” You beg and plead with all your might, but you linger there in torture. “Let me out! Please,” you whimper and turn away to stop seeing the horrible sight, but rather than seeing some stone wall, suddenly the day is swallowed by the night and you’re no longer on a stone bridge. Now you’re standing on sand, covered in darkness, looking at a cloaked man loading a boat that’s waiting to reunite with the ship in the distance. It seems like it’s just you and the distant stranger, but only seconds later you’re proved wrong when hurried footsteps approach.
You don’t want to look back when you hear the running footsteps, you fear what you will see, but your head turns and a hooded person runs by not letting you see their face.
You try to quickly walk after them, however, when that hooded person jumps on the boat with the stranger, they rip their hood off and you’re left horrified as you see your father for a second before you’re pulled from the past and returned to reality, causing the once bleeding heart to shatter.
That untouchable, cherished, and glorified image of your father completely crumbles. Love turns to ash and from it rises hate and rage because now you know that your mother did not kill your father, but she did let you grieve for a living man for six years.
After all this time he was never gone, she did not actually kill him, nor did Daemon kill him, he was alive and she knew. She hid the truth to live a happy life with Daemon. And your father…you’re ever so beloved father that you loved with all your heart, that you grieved for, never died, he…
He…left on his own will. He was not forced, it does not seem that way from what you saw. He left because he agreed to. He left you…behind. He left you.
He left. She lied. And they both broke your heart. The people who were meant to protect your heart, who are never supposed to hurt you, betray you in the worst way possible. In a way that even tops what Aemond did.
They broke your heart and you’re left numb now staring at the flames still raging in the bowl.
You can’t feel a thing anymore. Not your heart shattering, not your world coming apart, and not your rage pumping through your blood. It’s all quiet and it’s all dark. You stand in the abyss with only the raw memories of pain surrounding you, belittling you, ripping you apart limb by limb until there’s nothing left. It’s what makes it easy to turn your body around and slowly make your way out.
Yet as you reach the door and before you can let your sworn protectors know peace by showing you’re alive and physically unharmed, you come to a sudden halt as agony and despair tackle you before you’re free from the house; weakening you as they come together, leaving you unable to catch a breath even if your jaw goes slack, silencing your sobs even as hot streams of tears rush down your face, and bringing with them, writhing pain.
It hurts. It all hurts so much. The memories and the faces of your mother and your father flash in your head and the pain intensifies. It grows louder, making the rushing blood throb in your ears and tipping the limit you can handle.
It all falls apart. You fall apart and the only way you can let it out is with a heartbroken cry of despair that hurts your throat and sends your body thrashing to one side to express your anger by swinging down the fire column on one side of the door before taking down the other.
You don’t stop there, you can’t stop there, you try to, you wander around to try and calm down, but it keeps throbbing and it keeps hurting, so when you end up at the hall with the bowl of fire, you hurl it off the table in a blinding rage.
It’s only after the fire hits the ground and bounces on the long drapes that the anger liberates you, but now your sorrow takes over, and like coming down from an adrenaline rush, you’re left trembling, out of breath, and weak. You think of leaving, but your misery pulls you down to your knees, and has you looking numbly at the rapid fire that does not hesitate eating away at everything in its path. Nor does it debate or wait to combine with the line of fire that the fallen columns created at the entrance.
The fires unite and entrap you in their beautiful destruction before they too begin to eat away at you.
It’s not like you care though, and it’s not like the fire hurts you. It just eats away at the gown you once loved because it was made from rich fabrics only found in Yi-Ti. You should care for the sworn protectors you forced to stay outside, but that worry does not cross your mind either even if all they can worry about is you.
Once you cried out Ser Jason and Ser Cane rushed to the door to try and go to your aid, but the fire you threw down forbade them from opening the door. And no matter how hard they pushed the door they could not get the column in the way to budge away from the door. They tried yelling at you, but those shouts hit a paralyzed husk of a body.
After a while of trying to get the door open, flames then began to consume the door, creating cracks, but that was not enough for them to take it down. Actually, the fire shoved them away, so they were left desperate, trying to frantically find another way in, but the fire grew quick and blocked any and every entrance they could’ve used, making them believe that they failed at their jobs to protect you.
Whereas Ser Cane stared at the burning house in horror and disbelief, Ser Jason fell to his knees feeling the same emotions but also riddled with terror over one single person; Daemon Targaryen. He would fear Aemond too, he looks at Ser Jason as if he wants to kill him with his glare alone, but in truth, Daemon is more terrifying than Aemond ever could be. Besides Daemon threatened Ser Jason, he demanded to keep you alive or it was head; and as he looks at the fire's rage intensifying and consuming more and more of the house before him, he knows that his death sentence is signed.
That’s why he then has the bright idea to escape though. He doesn’t want to die, not for your sake. No matter how captivating you are to him, he does not want to die because of something you did. Thus he makes sure that Ser Cane’s attention is still stolen by the burning house before he gets up from his knees and plans his escape through the gathering crowd watching the scene unfold.
Nevertheless, just before he can take his first step the door to the burning house is opened just a little before it crumbles, revealing none other than you emerging from the lively and rageful flames completely unscarred, with all your limbs intact, and with your silver-white hair untouched. You don’t even cry out for help, you stop under the blazing doorway with streams of tears marked on your soot-covered face, and a piercing glare that matches the fire's intensity.
At first, no one believed it was really you. Not Ser Jason, not Ser Cane, and not the smallfolk there being nosy. To them, you’re some divine apparition ready to join the gods in the heavens until the sound of a piercing roar breaks through the sky, and moves your eyes up to catch your grand purple dragon emerging from the thick smoke ascending from the burning house.
After that, as your dragon lands on a nearby house not crumbling down by flames, everyone watching knows it’s really you. You're unharmed. You’re unburnt and only gods are not burnt by fire; that’s what the smallfolk and Ser Jason think. That’s what they believe you are now as the fire burns around you without as much as marking your skin. A terrifying God. So what do you do when you see a god emerging from flames?
Fear them, while also getting on their knees to bow, fearing being damned if they don’t.
However, not everyone is riddled with fear, Ser Cane stills in front of the crowd. He sees the distress behind your piercing glare, he notes that you’re completely exposed to everyone watching, so he rips his cape from his back and runs towards you.
You notice his attempt and meet him halfway. When he covers your body that intimidation you just held falters and all he sees is a hurt girl yearning for comfort.
“Can we go home?” You ask hoarsely and avoid looking at everyone behind him trying to gawk at you. “I want to go see Aemond.”
Ser Cane is still baffled by what he saw, by you being alive in general, but he doesn’t fret nodding in agreement before he wraps his arm around your shoulders to protect you from the nearing crowd as he guides you back to your horse.
He is completely uncertain how your heart is still beating, how you escaped the fire nude but unburnt, but he does not question it as uncertain as he is. While you…well with all that transcended, after you were swallowed up by the fire, one thing is certain; fire killed the girl, and the dragon has awakened.
Right now it’s just balled up in a corner of yourself, writhing in an agonizing heartache, and unaware and unbothered of the life moving around you. People talk to you when you reach the Red Keep, but even the sweet voice of Vanessa does not penetrate the husk of the body you live in.
People tend to you, your limbs move but with no effort. It’s almost like you’re not even alive, there’s no light in your eyes. They’re dull like that of the dead, reflecting the darkness that drowns you from within and shoves you further and further down an abyss that doesn’t seem to have an escape.
What are you supposed to feel now that you know your father left you? Where do you belong now that you know your own mother lied to you for six years? What is life now that you learned the truth?
Do you go back as you were? Sending your mother secret letters of every plan the Greens make?
You think about it, think about her, and can’t imagine pretending like you aren’t affected by her treachery. But you also look at where you are and can’t imagine even supporting Aegon or what his faction stands for, so where do you belong now?
Do you stand in the middle of the parted line and wait for which arrow hits you first? Do you pretend like you learned nothing?
No, you can’t pretend you don’t know that your mother lied for six years. You can’t pretend you don’t know that your father actually abandoned you, because that truth is crueler than any other pain you have felt before; it’s agonizing, and it keeps drowning you in an abyss of hate.
You want to get out. You don’t want to hate, you don’t want the memory of your father to be tainted, but…it’s too late. You look back at every piece of memory you share with him and it’s polluted by betrayal…and hate. His face is no longer a comfort, his voice is no longer soothing, and that deep longing to see him again is abandoned.
His name is like poison in your mouth. The love, ash, and those damn colors that remind you of him; the colors of house Velaryon are a reminder of him and you can’t stand looking at the gowns you have made of them. You can’t look at the sigil proudly. You can’t stand it. It’s mocking you, reminding you that he left and you can’t stand it!
Thus in a flash of a second, you rip away from the seat Vanessa guided you toward to wipe the soot off your face and storm over to yank the silver, teal, and sea-green gowns from your trunks and hangers to throw them down the balcony. You take the jewelry with the Velaryon house sigil and throw it in the fire without care.
Every single thing that reminds you of your father is thrown in the fire or thrown off the balcony in a blinding rage and with thick angry tears attacking your eyes.
Vanessa tries to calm you down, she tries to stop you, but you shove past her without a care, as if you are a raging storm; electrifying, and dangerous by the minute as you feed off your rage.
You need salvation and Vanessa can only think of one person that will break the storm apart and bring you peace, but he’s miles away, so she tries to be that peace, but you don’t acknowledge her. You actually seem to get worse so it all starts to seem bleak.
That is until the doors are thrown open and in comes Aemond. Yet even when he walks in you fail to acknowledge him. He calls out for you again and again, but you don’t stop throwing things in the fire, or yelling what you have been yelling over and over again. “Traitor! Traitor!”
You spin around to grab something without batting an eye at him, so Aemond quickly rushes over to you and attempts to grab you.
“Leave me alone!” You bellow and try to push his hands off your arms, you try to break away from him fearing it’s your own father, but his grip turns firm before he yanks you towards him, causing you to break from your blinding rage and find him like a sunlight breaking through a storm.
“Aemond,” you gasp as if he’s your lost breath.
His blue eye searches you for any clue as to why you’re so distressed, finding grief and agony raging within your red and teary eyes.
“He,” your voice quivers but you can’t say more, your lips part but they start to tremble, while the body Aemond holds starts to give out, as if standing was extenuating to your withered heart.
Albeit Aemond holds you up, while you grab ahold of his arms. “Talk to me,” he whispers while your own sorrow begins to hurt him.
And you try, you part your lips to share what you learned, but looking at him now, feeling his comforting hands holding you up only works to make you break down. He is the salvation you cried for, he is the one who pulls you from the abyss that was drowning you, but it’s because he’s here, it’s because you’re under his worried gaze that you let your anger go and just cry.
“Aemond,” you whisper, and it’s the heartbreak in your voice that he can’t stand anymore so he pulls you in his embrace.
“<My love,>” he coos in High Valyrian and holds you tightly against him as you grip onto him as if he's life support. And in many ways he is. He’s the only one keeping you upright, keeping you from snapping again, and keeping you from feeling complete isolation. And you couldn’t be more grateful that he is here, that he’s holding you ever so tightly without a hint of wanting to let go.
You don’t want him to let go of your withered body abused by a cruel truth. You want to stay in the safety of his embrace forever, hearing his heart beating inside of his chest because he’s all you have now. He's all you want now that you feel betrayed by the people you loved the most in this world. And unknowingly he feels the same about you.
You’re all he has now as he feels abandoned by his own family. You’re all he wants because you don’t make him feel alone, you're his light, as he is yours.
You only have each other in this cruel world. You are each other's sanctuary. Your hearts tangle together becoming one, and sharing a beat now that his own family makes him feel like he’s fighting alone because they can’t muster the same will to fight like him, while you feel betrayed by your own family.
How romantic is that? Two broken souls finding solace in each other. Is it bad?
You don’t think so. You’re his solace like he is yours, and he hugs you like he’s trying to seep it all from you whilst also helping you calm down and find the will to share what you know so it doesn’t have to be weighing you down a moment longer.
“Aemond,” you whisper hoarsely and step away, but keep grabbing onto his arms since you still need him for support. “It’s my father…” you trail off and have the need to cry, but you can’t shed another tear so you continue with your voice quivering. “He…left six years ago. He did not die…I mean since Seasmoke has a new rider now, I'm sure he is dead now, but he did not die six years ago. He left…he left me.”
Aemond’s eye expresses his confusion over what you shared before it comes down and expresses his pity for you.
“And my mother knew,” you continue above a whisper and he can see every word is like a stab to your heart. “She knew for six years. She made me grieve my father for six years and all this time he actually just left…me,” you whimper and look at him now for help.
There’s nothing he can do to actually help you, this is all in the past, but you still look to him for desperate help.
“I-I loved him with all my heart and he left me. And she…knew.”
Tears roll down your face. You thought you could not muster a single one but more break out as you share what broke your heart. And what could he say in return? He knew how much you loved your father, how much you cherished his memory. How can he tell you that it will be okay when he knows that’s a pain that will never mend?
He could say that you do not need them, but it doesn’t seem like that will be any help. He can also say you have him and that’s all you need, but are those words enough?
Not at this instant, so instead he lets the silence mingle and wipes your tears away before pulling you back against him and wrapping his arms around you ever so tightly so you know he’s there for you. So you know with that embrace alone that yes, you have him and you need no one else but him.
He relishes in that thought, in your neediness, and takes advantage of it for his own needs.
“<Please,” you beg in High Valyrian. “Never leave me. Please, Aemond. I can’t do this without you. You’re all I have.>”
His breath catches in his throat, and just as he wants to assure you he stops as he’s reminded of what Helaena just told him on that balcony.
“…and you’ll be dead…you were swallowed up in the God’s Eye, and you were never seen again. Your children won’t even mourn you, they won’t cling onto your memory…”
Those words hit him like ice-cold water, and he doesn't want to believe them. He wants to refute what she said, but he fears that it will be true, and how can he promise something he will only break?
“…the only tears that will fall for you will be from your wife.”
“<I’m here,” he promises as that last sentence proceeds to echo in his head, assuring him once again that you are all he needs and all he will ever have. “I will always be with you.>”
You nod against his chest and just proceed to nuzzle your face against him to steal more of the comfort he provides.
After a while of being in each other's arms the doors open and Aerion’s wetnurse brings him in, but not asleep, he’s fussy and tired but awake.
“He kept waking up, so I thought putting him in his cradle would put him to sleep,” the wetnurse says as you walk over to meet her halfway.
“It's okay, I will take him,” you relieve her of her stress and take your child who happily lets you cradle him. “Goodnight.”
The wetnurse offers you a curtsy before she quickly strides out of the room, letting you turn to your babe who rubs his little eyes.
“<Giving your wetnurse a hard time?>” You whisper in High Valyrian as you tap his nose. “<You will have siblings soon, you’re going to have to listen. Be a good example.>”
He lets out a big yawn that crinkles his little nose before he nuzzles his head against you without bothering to care about what you’re talking about.
“Did you find what you needed?” Aemond finally finds the right moment to ask.
You shake your head before you turn and make your way back to him by the hearth with your child in your arms. “No,” you reveal. “I was welcomed with the knowledge of my father instead.”
He hums and turns away from you to watch the flames eat away the last fragments of the things you fed it.
“We cannot be sure about Alyn and Addam,” you add and fall by Aemond’s side. “But we also can’t deny that it might be true. And if it is, I'm sure the truth will be revealed sooner or later now that Addam claimed Seasmoke.”
Aemond nods in comprehension before he tilts his head to the side and drops his gaze on Aerion. He watches him not with a soft gaze like he usually does, but something else, like conflict that makes his eye watery.
You notice right away and nothing stops you from turning swiftly to cradle his jaw. “What is it?” You ask with concern.
He keeps his gaze focused on Aerion before a small shaky breath is drawn in. You notice that he hesitates to speak, but he then lets go of that captured breath and meets your worried gaze with a tear escaping down his cheek.
“They won’t fight,” he shares but not with anger or frustration, he sounds almost like you did moments ago. Hurt.
“Not with me. They won’t even try. After I tried so hard to fight for them and for our lives they don’t want to fight,” he sneers and leans his face against your touch. “Helaena won’t even come to Harrenhal. They don’t want to understand the peril we’re in. They don’t understand that they—that she can’t just sit and watch it all unfold around her. She needs to come to Harrenhal, she needs to fight with us on her dragon because it’s no longer just us against Rhaenyra, it’s us against those bastards she picked up to ride dragons.”
You slide your hand up to gently stroke his cheek as you offer him a sweet and loving look as you hear his desperation and worry for his sister and mother. “Oh, my sweet Aemond.”
His eyebrows pinch together for a flickering second before he reaches over and takes your hand in his. “Don't tell me you support their choice? There’s seven dragons. Seven against our three if you count Tessarion. You said it, Vhagar alone will not win against their army of dragons,” he hisses but not with much anger, he’s desperate to be understood.
“I understand that,” you give him that comfort, but you then pull your hand away and face the hearth again before you pull yourself down to the ground with Aerion sleeping in your arms. “But listen, Aemond.”
He hears his name and he knows you’re about to try and be wise to make him see things differently, but he doesn’t want to see things differently when their lives are in danger!
“There’s something you need to realize,” you continue to prove him right. “Not everyone’s ferocity is the same. Every person shows it differently. Whereas some people use a blade, others use their words. Whereas some people's passion to fight and protect is outwardly shown, others can’t express it as easily. And perhaps not fighting back is a weakness, but my love, not everyone is meant to fight like you or me. There’s strength in that too, their ferocity is different, but trust me it’s there. Do you understand?”
Aemond drops his hands on his hips and shakes his head, wanting badly to argue, but not finding anything strong enough to contest you. And he doesn’t want to sound foolish either so instead he keeps quiet even as upset as he is and just listens to you.
“And you’re not alone,” you assure him of something he did not outwardly need reassurance of, but you know him. You saw that fear of being alone in his eye. It screamed its need for comfort.
“Yes it may feel that way because you hold the power with Vhagar, the biggest dragon, and she is tough, she’s why you have this need to prove yourself, to prove you can be reliable, and to prove is a good effort,” you praise him and slowly look over at him, seeing him completely captivated by the words that leave your lips.
“But my love, this weight is not all yours to bear. You’re not alone, and she’s not alone. And so what that Helaena doesn’t want to fight? She may have a dragon, but if her spirit is not capable then neither is her dragon. That’s why you have armies of men, people you can trust leading them. You have Daeron, excellent minds at your council table, and me.”
He draws in a deep breath and his gaze once hardened with stress now eases as it holds relief and awe for you, while your kind words prove that he can count on you and that he has you. And that is enough to make his heart race madly, while also making it bold.
“I know…” he lets his heart take the lead since he knows it’s just you with him, but he does trail off to take a seat beside you on the ground. “…your ferocity.”
You can finally stop straining your neck by looking at your side instead of up at his towering figure.
“Do you?” You probe with a flattered smile slowly appearing on your lips.
“It’s your passion.” His words come easy but he still does not meet your gaze; he watches the fire with a soft adoration that is directed at you; that he holds in his growing smile, and in his eye as he thinks about you.
“You’re driven by your heart in every way. In every choice you make, like choosing what to wear. What to do with your day. In love and hate, and I imagine in battle too because your passion makes you brave and tactful with many things that a princess should not know,” he adds and finally glances at you, catching your captivated gaze and your parted lips caught in surprise.
“But it’s also what puts you in danger sometimes, and it’s gotten you in trouble.”
You giggle breathlessly and the corner of his lips slowly spread to a grin.
“But it’s your greatest strength. It keeps you grounded to who you are and I have always admired that because that’s what lets you push back those who have wanted and want to change you.”
You glance down at your sleeping babe that you cradle in your arm with a wobbly smile before you look over at Aemond and hold his gaze, passing your appreciation and a thousand I love you’s that are not spoken with words, but shared with your love struck eyes before you rest your head on his shoulder.
“I’m going with you to Harrenhal,” you say with no hesitation or deceit. There’s nothing to hide because he does have you now. All of you.
The troubles with your mother are conflicting, you don’t know what to do. You might still send her letters because you know right between wrong; that judgment is clouded but you’re not blinded. You see the right choice and it’s her. But you also know she lied and you can’t let it go, you can’t be okay with it, so yes you dedicate yourself to Aemond.
“We will fight together,” you add, making him press a kiss on the side of your head before he rests his chin against your head, and reaches his long fingers over to interlace them with yours to connect you more as one.
Now rather than walking down parallel lines that kept you just out of arm's reach, you both walk down the same path as one without being wary of any crossroads.
——
*THE NEXT DAY*
Now that feeling of not belonging is louder than ever before.
Why did they even try if your father was just going to discard you like a piece of trash? Why even fight so hard to keep you alive if they were going to stay with Jacaerys as heir?
Why, why, and why has been running over and over again in your head. It leaves you…lost in your own head, and unaware. So when Aemond places his fingers on your back you’re startled.
“What?” You ask for clarification and look at him through the tall mirror you had been in front of.
“Your gown,” he says while he drags his fingers around your waist and drops his gaze to study the beautiful blue winter roses embroidered on the bodice. “The flower, I do not recognize it.”
You follow his line of gaze and place your hand over his to trail his fingers along the marvelous design. “Blue Winter roses. They grow in the North.”
He hums and his eyes flip up to now study your face as you keep looking at the flower design also on the end of one of your skirts, noticing that your eyes aren’t as puffy as they were when you woke up, but a sadness still droops them.
“Like the flower crown that knight gave you in our engagement tourney,” Aemond recalls, pulling your eyes up and bringing a smile to your face.
“Exactly!” You grin and turn, making his hand drag around your waist as he does not lose touch. “They’re my favorite. They’re rare and very beautiful. And Helaena and I wanted to coordinate today, so she's wearing a gown with her favorite flowers on it like me.”
He hums and looks you up and down before letting a smile spread on his face and sealing your distance with a small kiss on your lips.
“<You look beautiful,>” he muses.
You flash him a grateful smile and bring your hand up to stroke his cheek before you fix his eyepatch against his hair and end up meeting his gaze with a deep sigh. “I thought maybe I should go talk to my mother,” you bring up an idea you have been pondering all night. “I mean I believe what I saw. There is no reason why those visions would be a lie, but maybe having her explain it will bring me some peace of mind.” You shrug unknowingly.
But as lost as you are and look, what you said scared Aemond because what if you don’t come back? What if they keep you there, or you decide to stay there after your mother traps you in her web of lies?
You already agreed to go to Harrenhal with him, he doesn’t want to end up going alone. He wants you there with him. He does not want you gone. He can’t risk it even if your mother could offer you that peace to your battling mind and heart.
“I think perhaps it’s best if you stay,” Aemond gives his opinion and brings his hand up to your shoulder, seeing your eyebrows slowly pinch together as he gives you the wrong answer—“What if she does not let you return?”
You shake your head lightly to try and refute him but his words keep swirling in your ears, and right now they’re easy to entice you.
“You know the truth,” he adds. “She won’t want it spread. And you have a dragon, Daemon will want to decrease our power by taking you captive because he knows you are my weakness and I will not attack her or any of them if they have you.”
That can be true about Daemon. It’s surprising he did not keep you under lock and key before he left for Harrenhal, but your mother?
She does want you back, she did not even want you to come here in the first place. But would she be as harsh as Aemond says?
You don’t think so, but maybe that’s because he did not really convince you to stay, unlike your mother when she convinced you to stay at Dragonstone before she got attacked. So unless something happens that will convince you to stay you don’t really take his words under consideration, you just let him think he was successful in making you stay, and continue to debate it in your head.
If you end up deciding to go talk to her then you’ll just sneak out and he’ll have no other choice but wait for you to return because you will. Nothing has changed. Not even after he told you what he did at Sharp Point and all those people who lived there and had nothing to do with this war.
Is it cruel? Perhaps, but there was no stopping his wrath. There’s nothing you can do now either, so it’s best to leave it be and continue to debate whether you should go talk to your mother or not.
“Can I ask you something about Helaena?” Aemond interjects as he finally pulls his hands off you and steps away to start your journey toward this morning's Small Council meeting.
“I won’t talk to her about joining this fight,” you throw out bluntly and glance over at him as he glances over at you in annoyance.
“No,” he deadpans and glances at the corridor ahead. “Something else. Has she,” he pauses and hums before he grabs the pommel of his sword and quietly continues. “Ever shared something that hasn’t happened yet?”
“Her dreams?” You query as your eyebrows knit in confusion.
“Mhm.”
“Yes,” you don’t find the need to lie. “She told me I would have twins before I found out. And it was true…why? Has she told you something?” You ask with a smile that vanishes as soon as it spreads on your face.
Aemond draws in a short breath and searches the ground you walk over, piquing your interest while also making you nervous.
“Aemond,” you call and grab his arm. “What did she tell you?”
Aemond blinks and peeks back at the guards tailing you before slowly drifting his eye over to take you in under a fluttering eye which is no consolation.
“Aemond—”
“<She said that Aegon has yet to see victory,” he shares in High Valyrian, making you draw in a deep breath, but not because that revelation scares you, but because you thought it was something much worse, like Aemond’s death or something. “…She said he will sit on a wooden throne.>”
You nod slowly as you take in what he shared while not losing touch of his arm.
“Do you trust her?” He fills your silence in the common tongue with a question to follow his comment.
“She was right about the twins,” you mumble and lose your gaze on your path ahead. “And to not believe her would be foolish considering our family is known to have dreamers, like Daenys and Aegon the Conqueror, but the readings of the future are fickle, it’s not set, so it must be taken with a grain of salt.” You share your thoughts and look back at him, catching him looking at you too.
“We’ll be pushed aside again,” he mutters.
You hold his gaze and nod softly, mirroring the realization and the flicker of sadness that glints in his eye at the mere thought.
“But,” you try to assure him. “We will still fight, that’s what matters. And as cheesy as it sounds we will have each other, we won’t know the secluded corner alone.” You laugh softly, while he looks at the ground and huffs lightheartedly.
“Has…” you drag out. “Has she told you something else?”
Aemond looks ahead and draws out a breath before he shakes his head and redirects the question at you. “Has she told you anything else?”
You sigh deeply and share one thing, but don’t share what she said about you wearing a crown the day you wear a black veil. “She told me I wouldn’t be alone. I,” you chuckle. “Don’t know what that means exactly, but she told me that, so.”
Aemond snaps his gaze to you and his eye lingers on you while the corner of his lips twitch to a frown, but doesn’t actually get to form. “Hm,” is all he communicates. No further interrogation, no digging for any more possible dreams. That’s it.
And even if there was more you do reach the Small Council hall so the conversation comes to an end there, and now you’re reminded of the war, of its cruelty, and that the meaning it once held is faltering under the weight of your troubled mind.
You were once set on having a seat around the table of men to pass their plans to your mother and help her rise to her rightful throne, now you don’t know if you should be around the table. In secret or not.
What do you want exactly?
You wanted to get your hands dirty for your Queen, for your mother, but now? With these lies should you let go and leave?
Should you be a target walking down the marked line between both sides? Should you take no sides?
You hear what they’re discussing, should you take note in your head to send what you heard to your mother later, or let go and let your stance with her falter?
“Just this morning a raven from Ser Tyland came in,” Grand Maester finally voices his news. “He made an alliance with the Triarchy. They will sail together.”
Aemond fiddles with the marble and scoffs before he retorts. “Their ships shall arrive in our waters in a few days then?”
The maester nods eagerly. “If the waters are in our favor.”
“Winds,” you correct the maester and drag your eyes to him. “The wind aids the ships.”
The maester gets flustered but he nods and corrects himself. “If the winds are in our favor the fleet shall arrive soon.”
“Well, at least we will finally be able to breathe with the blockade torn apart,” Aemond comments and you slowly sit back and think again about what you want.
The answer should be easy, shouldn’t it? It’s a lie. That’s all it is. To protect her stance…and to marry Daemon. A lie should not affect your stance that much should it?
But the weight is heavier than anyone can imagine, and it leaves you troubled about what to do and what you want.
Do you let that lie go and reaffirm your stance? Or do you let it spread its hate and take away your once firm stance right from under you?
Do you want to keep passing her letters? Or completely and wholeheartedly dedicate yourself to Aemond?
What do you want?
It’s hard to know. You can’t decide even if the answer should be easy. You can’t choose yet. You need to keep debating even if it’s torture.
Until then you let that part of your day pass even if you’re weighed down by uncertainty, and the words you heard at the Small Council meeting keep repeating in your mind over and over again as if waiting to be brushed aside or written down. You want to keep going on with your day and give your attention to Helaena when it comes to spending time with her, but your mind only distracts you with the agony of the truth. You’re torn apart, and at multiple places at once but the place you want to be; in the gardens with Helaena.
At least that is until she manages to steal your attention by shaking your shoulder.
“Huh?”
Helaena studies you and blinks in confusion before she interjects. “Will you go to Harrenhal with Aemond?”
You nod slowly before looking at the bushes you let your fingers graze over. “That’s the plan, but I have been debating if I should actually go or not. With Vhagar gone the city will be left defenseless. Astraea and I could protect the city while Aemond is gone.”
Besides perhaps you could tell your mother to come while Aemond is gone. You could be that key like you were meant to be—If you push your anger aside, that is.
“I doubt he will be gone long.” You finish.
Helaena then suddenly slaps her hands around your arm and digs her nails into your exposed skin to pull you to a sudden stop with her.
“Ow,” you laugh nervously and glance at her nails digging into your skin before looking over at her in confusion, catching at that moment fear in her eyes; fear that brings goosebumps to your skin.
“You must go to Harrenhal,” she insists with her eyes wide and her grip firm.
“But perhaps I will be better use here,” you try to explain, but she flat-out shakes her head and pulls you towards her, making your heart skip a beat in response to the fear that she’s spreading to you.
“No,” she hisses and lets her eyes flicker away before she continues in an ominous demeanor that makes you slowly stiffen.
“I saw you,” she continues. “I saw you fall. You fall with your dragon...”
Your lips part as your breath stills for a moment, whilst conflict and disbelief make your gaze narrow on her for a moment before your face eases as no part of you reacts as one should when one gets told a possible grim future.
“…An arrow hits Astraea and you both drown in a sea of blood,” she finishes foretelling her dream about you and it should scare you to your very core. You should be baffled, but as you take in her words the thought of death is…welcoming.
Your father left you behind and your mother lied to you about it for six years. They chose someone else over you as heir, and you don’t know if the babies you’re carrying are Aemond’s or Cregan’s, so death is almost tempting.
Helaena notices the fear you were just holding diminish, your body remains stiff, but the fear you should hold after learning something so grievous should affect you, but it does not.
“You’re not scared?” She asks with slight disbelief as she finally drops that death grip.
You let out a deep breath and mindlessly look ahead before you make your way toward the pond and plop yourself on the edge. Helaena follows you and sits down in front of you more slowly.
“As of late I have been given reasons why not to fear death,” you admit a bit too dramatically whilst you dip your fingers in the water and swirl the water. “It may be a comfort. I don’t know.” You shrug and glance at your reflection in the water. “It doesn’t scare me, I know it should, but it doesn’t. Are you?” You now direct at her as you slowly lift your eyes, seeing her draw out a deep breath before she shrugs.
“Everyone dies, don’t they? It’s life and there’s nothing we can do to prevent it. It will reach us eventually.”
A smile spreads on your lips and you nod slowly. “See,” you murmur. “Nothing to fear.”
“I suppose,” she agrees softly. “But I don’t want you to die.”
You stop twirling your fingers in the water and offer her a tender smile before you grab her knee and give it a gentle and grateful squeeze.
“Your hand is wet,” she points out and pulls her knee away.
You giggle and dip your hand in the water before you splash her, making her gasp and look at you with a deadpan face before a smile slowly takes over her face, and she ends up giggling.
You laugh harder and she proceeds to splash you much to her initial dislike, letting you feel like a weight lifted off your chest for that moment that you were ignorant of…well, everything.
It was nice.
——
*THE NEXT DAY*
It’s said that Alicent was not found in bed, she did not break fast with Helaena and has not been seen in any Sept. She’s gone, but does it surprise you? It’s not the first time she’s left without a word, she just recently had a rendezvous at the Kingswood all by herself. For what?
Only she and the Kingsguard that accompanied her know.
And now they’re both gone again so perhaps it’s just another rendezvous who knows, and you could hardly care. You’re just nosy.
Regardless, that's not your focus right now. You should focus on writing to your mother. You should send her what you have heard, that Ser Criston and Ser Gwayne are approaching Harrenhal by the day, and they will be upon Daemon soon.
You should tell her to take advantage of Aemond’s departure and take the throne since Aegon cannot raise even a finger about it, but alas, the ink drips and drips on the paper as you sit in thought and watch Astraea hunting for her next meal in the never-ending waters.
What do you want to do?
Ask for the truth on paper? Tell her what you know and warn her? Or do you go quiet and stop this transaction of secrets?
What do you want?
What do you want?
What do you want…
You let out a deep breath and drop your eyes from your dragon to try and focus on potential words that could mark the page, but as you’re shifting your eyes you catch your Sworn protector, Ser Jason smiling at Astraea with admiration. And thus your mind uses that as an excuse to avoid choosing.
“My friend Lord Stark,” your voice catches him off guard. “Had to bribe her to let him pet her. He would offer her fish which is her favorite, but it took many moons for her to warm up to him. So,” you scoff lightheartedly. “I’m surprised she went up to you.”
Ser Jason tears his eyes away from your dragon diving in the water. “Perhaps I smelled like fish,” he says and you try to think if it's real while also slowly knitting your eyebrows together.
Ser Jason sees that you did not understand it was a joke so he quickly counters. “I did not! I did not smell like fish, I don’t go on smelling like fish. It was just a…jest because she well, you know…”
You muster a forced giggle and nod slowly, while he parts his lips to continue on rambling.
“But I mean it’s not like I know why she would go up to me. My mother worked at a brothel, so it’s not like I have special blood from her, and my father, well, I don’t doubt being a bastard of Prince Daemon qualifies my blood in any way.”
You drop your quill and your jaw drops at the revelation he just threw at you so carelessly and with no warning.
“You,” you mouth and slowly stand up without looking away, as if the truth of what he is would vanish the moment you tore your eyes away from him. “Your father is Daemon?”
Ser Jason’s face goes pale and he gapes like a fish out of water.
“You,” you scoff and turn around to drop your things on the bench while your mind scrambles what you just got told.
It should not be surprising, even you know that Daemon would frequent brothels when he was young. He had a taste for lustful activities. But! To know, and to have his bastard son be your Sworn Protector is completely crazy!
Did he know?
“Does he know?” You spat out your question oozing with your shock.
“N-no,” Ser Jason shakes his head and approaches you with fear someone else will hear him. “I never told him. You are the only one who knows.”
The corner of your lips twitch up but your initial shock still doesn’t let you display how touched you are that you’re the only one who knows.
“You are the only one who will ever know,” he says seriously and doesn’t go sheepish, his cheeks don’t taint with a blush, his gaze is pointed at you, and his lips are pressed in a firm straight line.
“But,” you whisper as your shock and that rush slowly diminishes. “Why? He’s your father. And you’re so close to him. He might as well accept you as his son. You could—”
“I don’t want it,” he cuts you off and is lucky that Ser Cane is not here or else he would’ve been scolded for cutting you off as bluntly as he did. “All the riches, the acknowledgment, and the power that comes with being recognized by my father is not what I desire. I know what that all does to men, they get drunk off power and hurt the small folk in turn. Or give us their back to be with the perfumed lords. I…don’t crave it. I like what I am now. I’m content with my role.”
His words sink in your heart and you don’t have the will to argue against him to try and make him reach higher. You actually admire him for being so sure about himself, and what he wants and doesn’t want. You wish you could say the same in a time like now.
“Many would jump at the opportunity to gain a dragon, to be a Lord. A Targaryen,” you share, making him sigh and nod slowly.
“Once upon a time I entertained those feelings while I was upset at my mother for hiding the truth,” he reveals, only pulling you in deeper. “I could join him, I could be better than she ever was,” he trails off to his usual soft and careful voice. “I was horrible and then she died. I never got to tell her I forgave her. She died thinking I hated her, that she was not enough for me, and ever since then the thought of being recognized as a Targaryen bastard is like bile in my mouth. It doesn’t appeal to me anymore. I detest it.”
You swallow thickly and pity flickers in your gaze, while you also feel a certain spark of connection as you know that you’re battling with lies and forgiveness with your own mother.
“I admire you for it,” you admit, making him blink rapidly while a furious red blush attacks his cheeks—“to have that self-actualization. That self-control when many would let their desires for greater things drive them.”
“He was not there, why should I crave the attention of someone who did not care?” He says and glances at your dragon again before he continues. “It's true I worked under him, it was a coincidence, fate playing a game. And it turns out he's actually not bad of a man, and the stories are right, he is a great warrior. I want to be as talented as him, but that’s all. I am content with what I have, I do not want to complicate my life. It was complicated once. I don't wish for that anymore.”
You slowly follow his line of gaze and an idea starts to form in your mind.
“Did you appreciate that your mother told you?” You have to ask for your own sake. “Even if it was later in your life did you appreciate it? Did it…help you?”
Ser Jason’s Adam’s Apple slides up and then down slowly before he glances at you and lets his deep blue eyes fall on you. “I think I would have driven myself mad if she hadn’t. I confronted her about it, I wanted to know who my father was. I needed to know if it was true so I would not drown in the rushing flood that were my thoughts.”
You snap your gaze to the horizon and think about your own troubles and how you’re in a battle with yourself, how you can’t sleep, or stay focused for too long without being drawn back into the storm of your thoughts; of what you want, of overthinking, rage, hate, and insecurity.
You don’t want to be troubled in a time like now. You can’t afford to with so much on the line. And you don’t think you can live in this confusion or it will drive you mad.
So you know what you must do, and you do it even if Ser Jason protests your leave.
You won’t be gone long, you’ll be in and out, Aemond won’t know, he doesn’t even have to know, and if he does well, he can go after you or stay and wait because you will return with your mind made. Angry or in peace, you will return. You just need to hear the truth from her. It will give you peace of mind.
That’s all you want. You can’t stand these loud thoughts and emotions, you want silence again. You need it.
Then again what exactly do you walk into?
Aemond doesn't surprise you by coming after you, will he be mad when you return? Possibly, but oh well, you’ll make up, so that’s not why you now start to question your daring act.
You descend and land peacefully, you have no trouble walking in the keep, and the guards know you’re no threat because that’s what they were told, but as you’re in search of your mother you come across a reason why you think maybe this plan was…a bit overzealous.
It's the man who bonded with Silverwing, he has his feet on the table and a goblet in hand. Giving yet another reason why smallfolk as dragonriders is not a good idea.
“Y-You…”
Gods.
He swings his legs off the table and leaves his goblet behind to come after you. Much to your misfortune.
“You tried killing me,” he throws out boldly.
“If I wanted you dead you would have been dead,” you don’t attempt to be kind, or apologetic because you could not care. “You’re a terrible dragonrider,” you grumble and peer over at the horse guards that you pass by as you make your way to the royal apartments in search of your mother.
“Grab her! Throw her in the dungeon, she’s with the enemy,” the man tries to demand, but the guards don’t even move an inch, they stay put and you stop trying to entertain this bad-smelling man.
“If I were you I would get away from me, I’m your princess, not some whore or servant you can pester,” you threaten him, but you keep hearing the heels of his boots chase after you in an attempt to match your speed.
“Come back—”
“Get him away from me,” you smoothly give your demand to the pair of guards that you approach, and they actually listen to you. The moment you pass them, they lunge out of their spots and block the old man’s path with their swords.
You peer at him over your shoulder and shoot him a cocky smirk before you disappear around the corner and quicken your pace to reach the royal apartments even faster.
Albeit when you reach your mother's quarters she’s not there. There’s not even guards outside her quarters, so onto the next spot where she might be, but first your cat! You go into your quarters, but he’s not there either much to your luck. But he'll be much easier to find than your mother you assume, considering she hasn’t come to meet you.
Actually, in your search, you don’t come across anyone. You assumed either your brother or your mother would have found you after they saw your dragon or got told you arrived, but so far it’s been quiet and calm. So far.
After a while, you’re actually relieved to come across Baela of all people.
“Baela,” you breathe out and come to a quick halt.
Said woman’s brown eyes linger on your face before they slowly trail down to the white-silver gown you wear and glimmers under the sunlight capturing your figure, making it appear like you’re wearing a gown made of a thousand tiny diamonds, or thin chainmail, either or you twinkle in your flowy dreamy gown.
And when her eyes go back up to your face she notes that the silver diadem around your head with the thin chains dangling from it really pronounces your title as Princess Regent.
“I saw Astraea and I thought she carried a letter,” Baela finally breaks her silence. “It's you. You’re back.” She smiles faintly, but you’re quick to steal that joy.
“No,” you deadpan. “I came to talk to my mother. Sooner rather than later, hopefully.”
“What?” She scoffs. “You did not ask your husband's permission to go out?”
You sense her hostility toward Aemond, you understand it, but you still don’t like it. “I do not need it, I came against his will.”
You would defend him but there’s no reason to really waste your breath, she doesn’t like him so wouldn’t understand.
“Is my mother here?” You interrupt her before she comes up with another quip. “I need to talk to her. Urgently.”
Baela draws out a deep breath and answers kinder this time. “She’s not here. She left at first light for Harrenhal. She did not say why.”
Great.
“Alright,” you nod slowly. “I will wait for her then. And do not tell Jacaerys I am here if he doesn’t know. I’m returning to the Red Keep and he will only make it hard.”
A pointed glare flashes on her face before she sighs and her face softens. “He’s only worried about you. You don’t know how many times he’s wanted to go to the Red Keep to bring you back. He says your place is here now more that you’re expecting twins.”
Your mother told them. Of course. But they don’t know that you don’t know where your place is exactly. Not at the moment, you’re in a state of limbo. Neither here nor there.
“And that’s why he cannot know I’m here,” you insist even if what she says really does pull at your heartstrings and makes you want to stay for him. “Let my mother know I’ll be at the Great Hall,” you end the conversation short so you’re not hit with more guilt or pleas to stay with puppy eyes and sweet words.
You do attempt to offer her a smile so she knows this coldness in your demeanor is not directed at her, but your lips hardly tug up; what you need to speak about takes too much from you. And it’s a good thing she doesn’t see that trouble so you’re able to walk past her and disappear into the Great Hall where you expect to be on your lonesome, but lying on the stone throne is your cat, Wolf.
“Look at you,” you coo and rush to him. “So regal.”
Wolf hears your voice and his head shoots up before he lets out an almost huffed meow, letting you know he’s upset you left him behind.
“I know, I know,” you talk to the cat as you walk up the steps of the stone throne to pick him up. “Forgive me, we were in a rush, but this time you are coming home with me.”
You lift him in the air and tilt your head down just slightly to make sure he’s still wearing his pearl collar—and yes, he still has it on.
“Well it seems they have been feeding you well,” you comment on his blubber.
Wolf meows nonchalantly and you flash him a grin before you hug him against you whilst you walk down to sit on a cold stone step.
“Oh, I’ve missed you too,” you tell him and caress his side. “You’ll have to ride Astraea though, I know you’re scared, but it’s the only way you can come home, so just sleep or something”
Wolf purrs under your touch so you gladly continue to show him some affection while you wait for your mother and get pulled deeper and deeper into the angry storm of your thoughts.
Much like before time is irrelevant, your surroundings blur almost to the point it’s nonexistent, and you get so lost in your mind that you hardly exist which makes time move faster.
You don't know how much time passed between you waiting and your mother’s arrival, but by the time the grand doors open and your mother finally joins you, the sun is lower than it was before. Actually, when you let the cat go and stand up on the step you notice that the beam of sunlight is reflecting on the ground now.
“Mother,” you greet but don’t share the relief she does when she finds you secluded in the darkness of the grey stone room. You don’t smile as wide as she does even as hard as you try to show your joy over seeing her and being in the same room without having to pretend.
When she reaches you she doesn’t hesitate or ask you for an embrace. The moment you step down to the ground to let her reach you she wraps her arms around you and pulls you against her. But even if you return her embrace, you don’t hold her as tightly, your body doesn’t ease like hers does at the feeling of your arms secured around her.
You try, you really do try to forget and bask in the warmth and the comfort her mere presence usually brings, but right now the sight of her is enraging the storm within you.
She doesn’t notice though, not yet. And not when she pulls back to let her eyes take you in under the beam of sunlight dancing on your face.
“You look beautiful,” she offers you a compliment as she gently grabs your arms so you won’t go far, but drops one hand to gently press it against your belly. “I did not get to see you when you were expecting Aerion, I want to make the most of it now. How are you feeling? Do you want to talk to the maester?”
You blink and swallow back nervously before you shake your head stiffly and point your eyes at her Kingsguard a few feet behind her.
Your mother seems to understand what you mean so she looks over her shoulder and with a simple passing look sends them away from the hall. It’s only once they’re gone and it’s just you and your mother under the beaming light that you raise your hands and get rid of her touch. And it's at that moment that she realizes the emotions that ride on your face aren’t that of pleasure.
She looks at you now, she really takes you in and notes a long-forming frown painting on your face that's thinner than before due to the twins growing within you, taking what they can from you. She sees your eyebrows slowly creasing lines as they come together, and lastly, there’s flames of anger flickering in your eyes that she did not bother to notice before, but as she sees all of you now she's overcome with worry.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” She finally picks on the emotions becoming more prominent in your features.
You draw in a deep breath and slowly raise your chin as you gain the confidence to be bold in your anger. “I need you to be honest with me. If you lie I will know, so it’s best if you’re truthful…please,” that last word makes your voice falter.
“About what?” She probes and grows conflicted as well as more concerned.
You blink repeatedly as tears begin to sting your eyes, causing your mother's lips to part in confusion. “Did…did,” you strain to continue as the words hurt to even think about saying. “You send my father away to marry Daemon? Yes or no?”
A gasp escapes her parted lips, her lashes bat wildly, and her eyebrows crash in the middle for a second as she’s slammed with shock at the words that came out of your mouth. Words you should not know.
“Did he leave at his own accord or did you send him away?” You sneer emotionally and search her face for an answer. “Tell me,” you whisper softly but with desperation.
Rather than answering right away your mother…steps away with tears glistening in her eyes, but it’s with that single action that you know the answer you wanted to refute, that you wanted to believe was a lie or some mind trick played by magic, but the answer is in her glistening eyes and it weighs your chest down while also pulling tears out of your eyes brought by anger and agony.
Yet even then you still want to hear her say the truth so you demand it. For the first time in your life, you shout at your mother and the agony in your voice echoes in the great hall. “Tell me!”
Your mother's eyebrows once again meet in the middle as she’s surprised by your burst of emotions, but she also knows there’s no more hiding from the truth, so after a deep breath she finally begins to give you what you seek.
“I needed a stronger force behind me in order to defend my claim. We knew it would be contested and it was, so we needed to send…Laenor away…”
“So you could marry Daemon,” you finish for her with more tears rushing down the curve of your cheeks.
“But my Sweet—” she tries to quickly comfort you by trying to grab your arms, but you shove her attempt away and slowly pierce a trembling glare at her, leaving her with no option but to see the tears that run down your face and shine like tiny sparkling diamonds the same way your gown twinkles under the sunlight.
“Don’t,” you bark and shake your head at her as it feels like someone pierced your chest. “Save whatever excuse you’re going to give me. I don’t want to hear it. You lied,” you throw at her. “For six years! You let me grieve him for six years! You let me long for his return for six years! Six years,” you sneer your words. “Do you know what it’s like grieving alone? Losing all your joy and having no one to comfort you because you’re being shipped across the country? No, but I do. And now to find out he left and you were behind it is like…like dying.”
“Don’t say that,” she whispers her own heartbreak. “He—it broke him to leave you and your brothers behind, but he also knew that I needed more than he could offer for our sake. He was selfless. He did it because he loved us, because he loved you.”
“That doesn’t matter,” you mutter as those words don’t work to mend your shattered heart or offer any sort of peace to your agony. “None of it matters because he left and you lied, and now where do I belong? All my life I have fought to prove myself, every step of the way, and now to find out you lied and that my father left makes me feel like nothing. I am nothing.” You sniffle and turn around to pick up your cat off the ground before you face her to utter your last words. “Thank you for making that perfectly clear.”
You storm past her and she calls out to you before managing to capture your arm and reel you to a stop.
“Don’t,” you quickly counter like your life depends on it. “Stop. I’m done…” you trail off and step back, having to purposely avert your gaze before you spin around and finish storming away.
This time she doesn’t come after you, the Great Hall is silent and you have a clear path to leave…or so you thought until you come across Jacaerys making his own way toward the Great Hall, but stopping as he sees you, the person he wanted to see.
Time seizes the moment your eyes meet. Every ounce of rage falters, and that sense of belonging is found there with him. With your little brother.
Looking at him makes you want to stay, to swallow back all the pain, and stay where you belong, but you can’t be so selfless. You choose to be selfish even if taking that route hurts more with him in front of you.
That’s why you didn’t want to see him, but here he is, and here you are with no strength to say goodbye. That's why you just take a deep breath and raise your chin before you try to walk away. But he steps in front of you to block your path.
“Where are you going? What's wrong?” He immediately asks as he sees your face pampered with tears.
“I’m going home,” you mutter bluntly and avert your eyes. “Back to my son, back to my husband.”
You try to leave again, but he grabs your arm and pulls you back to argue. “You cannot be serious? You don’t belong there! This is your home, this is where you belong, just bring Aerion and his dragon and come back home. We don’t need you in the Red Keep anymore, we have strength here.”
His words only work to hurt you deeper. It’s like being pierced in the chest again and again, and deeper with each sweet word.
“No,” your voice quivers. “I belong home. With my son, and Aemond. This is not my home, not anymore.”
He looks back at where you came from before looking back at you in confusion. You don’t need to see it to know that’s what he feels.
“What did mother say?” He wants to know more, but you don’t give him the context. You’ll let her do it.
“It doesn’t matter now, I’m leaving, Jace, let me go.”
Yet he doesn't, his grip only tightens and his gaze grows heavy on you.
“So what? You can go back to them?” He spats.
“To him,” you clarify. “To Aemond!”
Jacaerys tilts his head down and you let him find your gaze painted with it all; rage, agony, guilt, and a yearning for comfort.
“What of Rhaenys?” He hisses to you. “What of Lucerys?” His confrontation falters. “Or do you forget about them while you sleep with him?”
Your bottom lip trembles and your breath shudders, but as weak as you feel you bite back. “I will not stay. You cannot make me.”
“Watch me,” your brother sneers, so you rebuttal by rolling your shoulders back and narrowing your gaze to a glare.
“Do it,” you taunt him.
Jacaerys challenges your gaze waiting for you to falter, but no matter how much you want to give up your fight under his threatening gaze, you muster up your strength and fight back until he’s defeated.
When he lets you free you hug your cat tighter and linger in his presence for a moment longer, but never find the strength to utter that last goodbye. So even with tears welling in his eyes, you leave without saying another word.
Even after that, your mind can’t form a single thought. You fly back home in utter, deafening silence, with only the wind howling in your ears. When that too stops the moment you land in that cove behind the Red Keep, you expect to be bombarded with a wave of thoughts, but it’s like your mind stopped working. It’s quiet, you're quiet, and your cat keeps yelling at you, probably asking why you put him through that flight, but he grows relieved when he’s in the safety of the Red Keep, and then he also grows quiet on your way to your chambers.
The one time you can find the ability to speak words is when you reach your quarters and find Ser Cane outside your doors along with one of Aerion’s sworn protectors. Ser Jason must have taken his leave now that Ser Cane is here.
“Is my husband inside?” You have to ask to know if you should prepare yourself for a fight.
“No,” Ser Cane deadpans and finds your cat that he has not seen at all in his life until now. “That’s…yours?”
A tiny smile tugs on your face and you lift your fat cat to show him off. “Yes, it’s Wolf, don’t worry he’s nice.”
The cat meows, and you look at him and smile wider before you take a step forward, making the guards open your doors for you.
“Please stop wandering off,” Ser Cane says in a very serious voice, and you can’t help but flash him a smile since he figured out all by himself that you were not in the Red Keep, or King’s Landing at all considering you warned Ser Jason not to tell a soul.
“You will have to use a ball and chain for that Ser,” you retort, and for the first time since he’s been your sworn protector, he smiles. It’s faint, the corner of his lips twitch, but you still made him smile and it makes you giddy.
“You can relax for now I’ll be inside,” you assure him as you put Wolf down before you finally walk inside.
Once the doors are closed the smile on your face falls and still, the thoughts you have been expecting fail to come.
Not that you’re eager to fall into a deeper agony after hearing the truth, you just need the shock to pass. You need to admit the truth of what you want to yourself because you know it’s forming there, in your mind.
Albeit you can’t overcome your disbelief or the hurt you received in Dragonstone. Time started moving after your interaction with Jacaerys, but it moves slowly now and because of it your thoughts don’t come quick.
Then again you can’t rush your feelings, so you take a deep breath and head over to Aerion’s cradle to check on him since he should be taking his nap.
Which reminds you that his wetnurse has not come to meet you, odd, but alas you continue your path towards your child and before you can reach the curtains that lead to your bed, Wolf yowls before he suddenly comes sprinting away from that side of the room.
You quickly follow him with your eyes and your amused smile falls as you catch that he left behind bloody footprints.
“Maci?” You call out for Aerion’s wetnurse with your breaths growing heavy with panic, but there’s no answer so should you call out for the guards outside your door?
It might be something dangerous or it might be nothing.
The latter seems more plausible so you keep making your way forward with more caution now.
Aerion is not crying, so it can’t be anything terrible…right?
Unless—no, it’s not him, but you quicken your pace, and when you reach the curtains you slowly pull them back. When you peek one eye inside your heart drops to your stomach, your breath hitches, and every instinct inside you immediately yells at you to fight, so you do.
You’re not carrying any weapon with you to defend yourself, and any you have in your chambers are far compared to the distance this scrawny killer is to Aerion, so with nothing but your strength you rip the curtains open, and part your lips to bellow. “G—”
Yet just as your breath comes out with the first word, a dirty hand suddenly slaps over your mouth before the tip of a blade hovers over your throat, forbidding you from alerting any guard and threatening the cloaked killer approaching Aerion’s cradle with a bloody knife.
You try to push away the hand that’s covering your mouth to try and save your son with a threat, or with a sound ominous enough that the guards will burst through the doors, but the person who is holding you captive begins to drag you away from the bed area of your quarters not caring that you’re kicking, or clawing at his arm.
The other man reaches Aerion’s cradle and you ache to try and reach him, you try to scream, but the person who has you keeps dragging you away until he finally halts and pushes their lips by your ear.
“Long. Live. Queen Rhaenyra,” they whisper in a scratchy voice, and at the sound of those words it’s like a tight grasp wraps around your heart causing it to hurt worse than any other pain.
Yet what’s that ache right now compared to the threat uncovering Aerion’s cradle and revealing him to the killer? It’s nothing.
Your heart pounds and every muscle that makes who you are cries desperately in attempts to reach him, but you can’t challenge the person's strength holding you against them. All you can do is watch as the man finds your son in his cradle with tears rolling down your face and a horror that keeps worsening.
However, just as the man’s eyes land on Aerion, they then shift to something else, and terror strikes within them.
You stop moving to figure out what he saw, but then Shrykos, the answer to all your questions jumps out of the cradle and perches herself on the edge.
It’s Aerion’s dragon. She’s there, emitting low clicking sounds as she tilts her head and studies the man to figure out whether she’s seen him before or not.
Yet perhaps your relief comes too soon because the man swings his blade down at the hatchling. You try to scream out in defense of the hatchling, but much to your surprise Shrykos leaps off the edge of the cradle and flies on the man to claw her long and sharp nails in his throat, rendering him silent instantly before she climbs up his face to blast fire at the man’s eyes which causes him to fall back on the ground with a loud thud, and leaving the person behind you paralyzed.
Albeit not long enough because they pay no mind to the hatchling tearing the man's face to shreds. And maybe they have the right idea not to care, you’re not bonded to the hatchling, and unless given the direct command she won’t come to you to defend you like she did Aerion. You have to fight back yourself. Thus since you can’t bite the person and you can’t outmatch their strength, you kick your foot back as they’re pulling you back towards the balcony, and manage to hit their crotch.
They react with a groan and loosen their grip just enough for you to shove away their hand with the blade, and twist around. Once you’re facing him, you jab your knee in their arm as hard as you can, managing to break it and unarm him, but also causing him to shout in pain.
Is that enough though?
No, they ignore the pain and pretend they’re going for the blade, so you reach for it too, but then at the next second they actually swing their palm against your face so hard it stings, and the taste of iron trickles in your mouth through your parted lips, while more leaks down your chin.
Hurried footsteps then strike the ground and seem to be approaching where you are, so while you’re dazed the man grabs the blade and lunges at your belly, but even if your ears are ringing and your eyesight blurs because of that hard slap, you throw your hands down and manage to catch the blade before he could pierce it through your flesh.
In capturing the blade with your bare hands though, now sharp blinding pain spreads throughout your palms.
“Drop the blade!” You recognize Ser Cane shout at the top of his lungs while he and the other knight slowly stalk toward the man.
However, the man manages to slip his hand away from your bleeding grasp and redirects his threat at your belly, at your twins, leaving you paralyzed out of fear the blade will penetrate with a single move of any muscle.
“Ser,” you call out to your sworn protector between pants and your voice now trembles with fear.
“Not another step or I gut her,” the man sneers and steps toward you to get closer and make his threat that more dangerous, making Ser Cane put his arm out to stop the other knight from getting any closer.
“You will be able to go, just let the princess go,” Ser Cane makes empty promises whilst he steps back. And to the ears of a man’s life hanging by a thread, why would he not take the opportunity?
Yet as tempted as the man is, he hesitates and glances at you with panic in his green eyes. “Long live the Queen.”
The man pulls the blade away from your belly and starts to move it up in an attempt to stab your throat, but the moment he looked away from the knights, Ser Cane managed to slide out a dagger so when the man began to scale the blade up, Ser Cane hurled his dagger and with perfect aim hit the man’s throat. Now the threat the man held falls with his blade, and thick crimson blood squirts out from his gash and splashes all over your face, letting you know it’s all over, there’s no threat looming over you. It’s all done.
Yet your heart doesn’t stop drumming nor does your blood stop rushing with the terror still rattling your body.
“Come with me, Princess,” Ser Cane’s voice travels through your ears and you notice that it's softer than before, but it doesn’t make you do as he says, you look at the dead man bleeding out on the ground, and gasp sharply before you slowly sit on the ground with leg flat on the ground, and the other used to prop your arm on your knee.
“Go fetch Prince Aemond,” Ser Cane demands the other knight before sheathing his blade and rushing to check on Aerion.
“Is he…”
“Still asleep,” Ser Cane finishes for you, so you nod stiffly and let that worry go with a deep and shallow breath, but this new shock still leaves you trembling on the ground, trying to convince yourself that what just happened did happen. It was not a dream, it was real, people did try to kill you and Aerion.
Was it in some twisted act for your mother? Were they sent by someone else? Or was it your own mother and Daemon who sent them?
You don’t know. You don’t know a thing about them and you won’t know because they’re both dead. All that you know for sure is that you almost died. They were going to kill you!
Gods. Gods. Damn. Damn it!
“Let me see, let me see,” Ser Cane startles you as he crouches down beside you to look at the drops of blood coming from your belly since right now your mind is unraveling what happened and letting that shock go.
“He just nicked your skin, you’re okay, your children are okay,” he assures you as he meets your eyes.
And even if your gaze is miles away you nod stiffly in comprehension before you blink slowly and get your focus lost on the blood pooled around the dead man, but not with a blank stare now. This time a slow-growing fire is sparked in your eyes, causing your gaze to narrow just enough to spread a menacing look, while your parted lips letting out your shallow breaths still give your disbelief and fear away.
It’s like you were just hit with a realization because you were. You know what you feel now, and you know what you want. You see it reflected in the pool of blood reaching your foot.
Whether the killers were sent by your mother, by someone else, or they acted alone doesn’t matter. The killers dispersed the cloud that was fogging your mind since you left Dragonstone, and it’s all clear now. There’s no going back, there’s no sufficient apologies that can tear down your rage-fueled hate because that’s what you are. You’re angry at your mother for lying to you for six years, you hate that she lied, and you don’t want to help her anymore because of it.
You tried being good, the perfect princess, and the perfect daughter of a Queen. You risked your life to come here to send her letters of the Greens' plans. You strained yourself to prove something to your mother, to try and be what she needs in this war and as a daughter, but no more. You’re done trying to bend over backwards to prove something to her.
You’re done.
Does it mean you will fight for the Greens?
Well, you will get your hands dirty. You won’t hide who you can really be now and you won’t let them diminish you.
You will fight. She will see you fight. She will know your rage face to face. They will all know your rage.
“What—”
Aemond’s voice registers in your head, and as you follow where his voice comes from you see him stopped only a few paces away with his eye on the dead man.
“Aemond,” you gasp softly, feeling that fear break apart after being penetrated by the mere presence of your best friend and your beloved husband Aemond.
When his eye finds you it widens at the sight of the blood pampered on your face, staining and dulling the white-silver gown that no longer glimmers like shining diamonds. He then sees your hands leaking blood from wounds he can’t see, but knows are there due to the blood dripping on the ground, and his rage snaps to the knights meant to protect you, but you call out to him as you see that darkness spark in his eye.
“Aemond.”
Said man’s eye falls on your face and he debates still tormenting the knights, but as he sees how you plead for him with your eyes alone, he lets his anger go for now with a deep breath and then falls on his knees beside you.
“<Are you hurt?>” He asks in High Valyrian as he studies you to find his answer regardless of what you say.
“<Just cuts on my palms, but I’m, we’re okay.>”
Aemond’s eye drifts to the cradle a few feet away and his lips part as he sees Shrykos covered in blood returning to his spot by Aerion’s side.
“<He’s okay,” you assure Aemond. “He’s asleep. His dragon protected him.>”
Aemond looks back at you and you both share a soft and relieved breathy laugh at the fact that Aerion did not wake at all through the interaction, and that his little hatchling took down a grown man all by herself.
“<Are you okay?>” Aemond asks again and doesn’t hesitate cradling your face covered in blood.
“Aemond my face—”
“I don’t care,” he cuts you off and leans in closer to study you with his eye glossy with tears brought by worry. “Are you okay?” He asks, making your bottom lip tremble. You want to lie, but you can’t with him looking at you with that tender blue eye filled to the brim with concern over your life, so you shake your head lightly.
Aemond caresses your cheek with his thumb and presses his forehead against yours. “I’m here,” he reassures you before he embraces you against him, letting you sink into his warm and comforting embrace, and become one.
You don’t need to prove anything to each other. You don’t need to sweat blood to try and be something worthwhile for each other. You’re enough. You’re all each other needed when you were kids, and you’re all each other needs now.
Is your rage extinguished? No, it’s still very much alive and it blazes like wildfire as your fire becomes one with Aemond’s, because you both share a similar rage that you want everyone to see. That they will all see.
.
.
.
.
A/N- I’m afraid Cregan is the only one who can pull you out of this dark corner now.
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