So has Time ever told the Chain he was raised by a tree?
Because I can’t get over the comedic potential of Time talking about his father, and the Chain just assuming he’s talking about a human being. He doesn’t bring up his elusive father often, but when he does it’s always a punch to the gut. Time will just be like, “Oh yeah my dad took me in as an infant when my mom died.” “I watched my dad die at the start of my journey.”
At first Time doesn’t mean to trick them, but then he realizes that the Chain is just assuming that he was raised by a human. So he just lets it snowball. He starts telling them more, seeing how long it takes for them to realize he was raised by a tree. “My dad couldn’t move around much but he was a good dad nonetheless.” “Oh how old was he? Ancient.” “He was our protector, really. Always seemed to know what was going on in the woods.”
And it just keeps snowballing. Malon gets in on it. Since Time knew him in the War of Eras, Wind already knows that Time was raised by a tree but is 100% down to keep up the charade for Time.
Meanwhile Warriors is just fuming because, guys, guys he’s talking about a tree. No I’m being serious guys—
No one believes Warriors when he says Time was raised by a tree. Absolutely no one. It makes Warriors so mad. Time, though, finds this all absolutely hilarious.
Somehow though it gets out that Time really was raised by a tree. Maybe they end up in the Kokiri Woods and either Saria or the Deku Sprite are like “oh yeah lol you mean the Great Deku Tree? Yeah, Time was raised by it like all the Kokiri.”
The rest of the Chain is just flabbergasted. Time is almost dying of laughter. Warriors is pissed because he’s been saying this all along.
So yeah. Time was raised by a tree and uses it to fuck with the Chain. Don’t ever tell me Time is not a gremlin underneath his mature-looking armor.
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"You know what I hate?" The Champion asked to no one in particular as he watched over the slow boiling pot of stew.
"Uh... Not having enough spices?" The Captain asked from his seat at the table.
Wild gave a nod. "Not what I was going for, but yes."
"Then what do you hate, Champ?" Wars asked while glancing over to the Vet. Legend was currently trying to stack his fork and knife on top of each other to no avail.
"How do I put this?" Wild tapped his chin in thought.
"As bluntly as you can." Hyrule chimed in.
"Fair enough. Why are certain clothes locked to certain people? It's fucking cloth." Wild complained with a laugh.
At first Wars was going to chide Wild for the language, but... He just couldn't. Wild had a point here.
"FINALLY!" Wind's loud voice startled Wars a bit as the Sailor had been awfully quiet in his seat. "Tetra and I both hate that stupid shit. What do you mean I can't wear heels? I'm trying to feel tall, and Tetra hates heels, and so somebody has to wear them."
"Tell me about it." Wild started. "Zelda let me try on one of her old royal dresses, don't ask how they survived a hundred years, and somebody had issues with that."
The Captain just laughed. Damn those social rules indeed. Wild in a dress wasn't something he was expecting to hear about today, but it was something that he could picture.
And the Champion would rock that dress.
"Heh, I've been thinking those rules were stupid since I knew they existed. So, since I was nine." Time joined the conversation. "I didn't even know what the big deal was back then."
"I'd ask how, but I'm afraid the answer would be too confusing." Twilight said.
"Oh, not at all, I was raised by forest spirits and a giant tree." The Old Man nonchalantly explained. "They didn't have concepts like "male" and "female." So imagine my confusion."
A claim that he made often but never elaborated on. Everyone, besides the Captain and Wind, thought it was a lie or a ruse.
Warriors just laughed, he couldn't help it.
"Oh little Mask and his insisting that he's a tree." Wars felt everyone's eyes turn to him.
Time laughed loudly. "You made that corporals life hell."
"I did not have time for that guy's bullshit. We are in the middle of a fucking war, if the kid says he's a tree then he's a fucking tree." Wars started to lose his composure from all of his laughing.
"What do you mean by "he's a tree"?" Sky asked while scratching his head.
"Again, I was raised by forest spirits." Time explain. "You lot, besides two, think this a lie. It's not."
"Time, your life profoundly confuses me." Sky said. "So they assigned you a tree?"
Time nodded.
"Instead of anything else?"
Another nod.
"Not like a boy tree? Just a tree?"
Another nod. "Two trees, to be exact. But yes."
"Two trees?"
"Maple and oak, to be exact."
Wars just watch the conversation with a grin. Oh, poor Sky. He must be feeling the same confusion that he and the Sailor had during the war.
"I feel so understood." Rulie said with the widest smile imaginable. "I'm just a Fae." He shrugged as the others turned to face him. "Not the legend kind of Fae. I was raised by Fairies."
"Well, now you can be a Fae tree. How lovely." Time stated with a laugh.
"What kinda tree?"
"Hmmm, you and the Captain both have the same one. Pine, and you can have maple too. As a treat."
"A Fae pine and maple tree. Nice."
"Are we just gonna brush over the fact that Wars already has a tree identity?" Legend asked.
"I do too!" Wind but in. "Take a guess, it's so obvious."
"Uh...Palm tree?" Twilight asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Correct!"
"What tree am I then?" Wild asked while seasoning a few cuts of meat.
"Willow." Time and Warriors both spoke at the same time.
"Damn, that was fast."
"You had this conversation before, hadn't you?" Sky asked while keeping his gaze locked to Wars. "So tell us our trees."
"Oh, alright, I'll try to remember all the specifics. It's been a while." Time laughed while tapping his fingers on the table.
"It all reminds me of the Minish. They have leaves instead of trees, though." Four, who had been quietly observing this whole time, finally spoke up.
"Oh, the Kokiri had leaves too. That's a whole other thing."
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Currently obsessed with the idea that the boys go to Time for love advice, since "he's married so he knows this stuff right?"
I mean they couldn't recognize a wedding ring??? And neither did he???
And time was saying this in his youth I mean cmon
Twilight: So ancestor. What would you do if like. Malon left to another world and never came back
Time: ... bro Malon called me fairy boy and then we were married like what
Hyrule: So uhh old man. How does one. Meet a girl.
Time: By speaking to her I guess? Or not, Malon did the talking for me
Hyrule: riiiiight...
Wild *no tact*: Hey so like... what if your redheaded wife who's name started with M died.
Time: what?!?!
Wild, undeterred: but like before she proposed.
Time: ...
Wild: and you don't remember if you would have said yes. What's your advice for dealing with that?
Time: ... vent to a fairy?
Warriors: hey old man
Time: no no no not this one asking me please
Warriors: how do I get women to stop coming after me. So I can ya know. Choose without war trying to force me into relationships
Time: I can safely say I've never had that problem captain
Wars: of course not *smirks*
Wars: ok but seriously how do I make them go away
Time: ... wear a wedding ring so they think you're taken, I've got a shiny extra
Time: no no why- they won't stop, I don't know how to do love!
Time: ok well at least I have legend. That kid would never ask for advice, I'll sit by him.
Legend: so old man.
Time, looking forward to a normal conversation: yeah?
Legend: hypothetically, what would you do if you found out Malon didn't exist.
Legend: And her whole world didn't, but it did, and now it doesn't
Time: ...Excuse me for a minute.
Time, writing a letter as fast as he can: MALON HOW DO I GIVE LOVE ADVICE THEY THINK IM WISE
Malon: lol
Happy Valentine's Day guys, have a headcanon :P
The boys go to Time for love advice and Time spouts whatever wise-sounding bs he can, before shoving them all on Malon for therapy when they visit the ranch
Art and comic by Jojo @linkeduniverse! :D
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thing about deltora quest that only occurred to me in hindsight is not only just how much jasmine carries the entire party on this quest but also how genre-defyingly brutal she is lol. like, this is a kid's series that hinges on riddles and puzzles far more heavily than combat - even when deaths occur, they're often the result of cleverness in some way rather than straight up combat ability. that said, let's look at the villain kill count at the end of book five of eight of the first series:
- lief: 1 - even there it's with a well-thrown bottle of cursed water rather than his sword.
- barda: 0 - i'm not counting that one unnamed sand beast, that's an animal not a villain.
- filli: 0 - he is a squirrel, this is unsurprising.
- kree: 1 - killed an invincible sorceress all by himself, good bird best friend.
- jasmine: 5 - dropped a tree branch on a mf, drowned two cannibals in quicksand, cut a giant snake's throat, shoved a dude down a pipe full of toxic mold (after having to be told not to cut his throat while he slept jfc).
idk it just suddenly struck me as really funny how this one character who isn't the protagonist is almost from a different, far more brutal story, and uses that fact to consistently be the mvp and save everyone else's asses. i need to read this series again it's been too long.
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I feel like if Dipper were ever reincarnated as a demon, he wouldn't fit in super well with the others. Yes, he's been raised to vie for power and step on everyone in his way using whatever means is necessary - it's the same toxic bizz as when he was a human, appealing to gender norms. He's tougher, scarier, more powerful (than ordinary humans, that is), but when it comes to asserting control - being Evil - he doesn't have it in him. Given enough time, I think he'd grow pretty vocal about leaving living things alone. NOT torturing organisms for the hell of it, or stealing people's souls, or conquering planets. Sure, he's a demon. That's no excuse to be a MONSTER.
It's a VERY unpopular opinion amongst neighboring demons, and rumor spreads fast about the Goody Two-Shoed Activist imp raining on everyone's blood-splattered parade, so much so that it makes it to Bill, who's immediately intrigued. Call it intuition, but only one soul's capable of overriding goddamn demon nature for some preachy bullshit about "Doing Good." Lucky for him, demons occupy the same plane of existence, so all it really takes to verify the guy is a snap of his fingers, and POOF! He's floating right next to him. Sure enough, Dipper's fashioned himself a new and improved demonic form, and it is lovely!
No one likes Dipper's kumbaya "Can't We All Just Get Along" ideology, but Bill's almost instantly smitten with the guy, whoever he is, so he's gotta be at least somewhat powerful. Demons take notice when the all-powerful Bill Cipher starts lending his time (and magic?) to some low-leveler like Dipper. Is he being blackmailed? Are they working together? No. Not possible. Bill doesn't "work" with anyone, save for whatever human catches his eye every few decades. Doesn't look to be doing him any benefit, either. The opposite, even. Lending power to a saint like Dipper only makes it harder to cause chaos, after all. Why would he actively go against his OWN best interest to cater some imp's? It's almost like he's. He's.
A henchmen.
(Bill's also 30% more affectionate the first month they reunite, because he still can't believe that his adorable little human husband came back as the same SPECIES as him! He'd never complain over having a sweet human to squeeze, but one with teeth and claws and cute pointy ears doesn't hurt).
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My Adventures With Superman making me cry with Clark believing he's a weapon sent to hurt people and his friends insisting that NO, what you are or what you were created for doesn't matter, what you choose to do matters. and just. I don't know a lot about comic!superman so maybe it just comes from that, but. I can't help but see...
Iron Giant. a weapon who chooses to be Superman. the creators of this show have to know that, probably grew up on it. I can't help but see the cyclical nature of inspiration and folk mythology. if Superman helped the Iron Giant, did Iron Giant help Superman too? this young Clark who is not the near omnipotent god that renders his narrative meaningless, but a real person. In the same sense that we recognize the Iron Giant as a person.
This Clark's story is one where they address the very real world parallels between Clark and immigrants, between him and so-called 'aliens,' a story addressing the real world parallels of seeing the horrible things 'your people' do and hating that they are a part of you. hating yourself for being anything like them. I just. it's so well-done. and interesting. and impactful in a way Superman has never been for me.
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