Pirate & Pin Cushion (3)
Jake Jensen x gn! ops!Reader
Painful...But In A Good Way (see previous or JJ Masterlist)
The last thing you remember is the awkward kiss Jake planted on you during a screaming match. Now, awake and healed, your friend and teammate is acting more awkward than usual around you.
Warnings for foul language, *super skimmed over action,* canon-level betrayal (Roque), completely vague mentions of injuries, suspicions, doubts, misunderstandings,--GO FIGURE--an argument, and I just wanted this done honestly. Not that I don't love them, but I need a win in the COMPLETED department. WC ~1.5k
You’re a Loser through and through now.
Months have gone by since you were stabbed and unceremoniously, sorta-kinda-maybe-not kissed by Jake Jensen. You woke up six days later with Pooch by your side, disappointed it wasn’t your Banter Bro.
The last thing you remember is turning away from Jake to hide your face. After that, nothing. You suppose he feels awkward about it. Maybe he regrets it, even if the ‘kiss’ was just part of a gag to him.
The most frustrating part is everything is exactly the same. Jake keeps you at arm’s length, a holding pattern to get no closer as teammates but no farther as friends.
Is this…are you in the friend zone???
It blows.
You’d still prefer this over being a pariah, so on you quip from interaction to interaction.
For all Jake’s hype about loving Halloween, he shuts down when you ask him what costume you should choose. Then he goes home to his sister and niece for the holiday.
...Okay…
You console yourself knowing this is for the best. You’d promised yourself no attachments, and nature clearly pushes for you to keep that promise.
You’ve almost—almost—resigned yourself to actual pin-cushion-status, jabbed repeatedly by his indifference. You are PC: perpetually crushing on Jake Jensen. It sucks.
You can be professional though. You can keep up with the jokes and take the hits to your heart and body that come with the job.
Until you can’t.
Los Angeles. The port. The shitshow.
While scrambling to get out of the line of fire in a showdown gone wrong, Jake cuts his leg vaulting over a concrete barrier, and you get him to a nook between shipping crates.
You squat down to change the mag on your MP7 and suddenly hear Roque’s voice behind you. He’s not on the comms.
“Should’ve told ‘em, Jensen."
The look on Jake’s face is shocked and bitter.
Roque clicks his tongue. "At least then they’d know…”
Before you can so much as turn to look, Jake’s raised his own weapon, firing right over your shoulder and within inches of your ear.
The pain is sharp and hot, sending you stumbling into the warped metal wall of the nearest container.
Jake wraps a thick arm around your waist and yanks you away.
You catch sight of Roque dead on the asphalt.
It’s complete chaos, pure survival mode for the next twenty minutes, deaf and deftly tying a bandage around Jake’s leg in an open, empty crate while he’s on comms and frantically hand-signaling you the plan.
But you make it. Everyone but Roque makes it.
Eventually, when the ringing subsides in your non-ruptured ear, Clay lays outRoque betrayed the team. Aisha teaches you a way to cup your occipital and tap to reduce the tinnitis. Pooch leaves to see the birth of his first child.
You’re left to ponder if Jake is a traitor, too.
Did he kill Roque to keep his own cover? Was he supposed to recruit you into his and Roque’s plan? Is that what he ‘should have told you’ so Roque wouldn’t need to kill you?
The possibilities haunt you. Is this why he’s kept you distant for months? Was Jake worried you’d catch on?
You blame your stupid crush for stopping you from telling Cougar your concerns. You trust Jake—or you want to trust him, so badly—so you confront him alone.
Dinner. At your place. Away from the team so he can feel safe to admit it. Away from the team so you can pretend your forgiveness isn’t already secured. You’ll deal with the consequences once you know the truth.
Jake seems an odd mix of totally psyched and forcefully reserved when you invite him and a nervous wreck when he arrives at your door.
It’s just pizza. You were too distracted to do more.
He doesn’t pick up his slice because you don’t either, running your hands up and down your thighs compulsively, then quietly asking, “about what Roque said…”
Jake leans back in his chair, leg bouncing frantically, rubbing at his neck. “Yeah,” he replies, eyes on the floor.
“Was he…were you his partner in that? Were you suppose to take me out, too?
Jake’s head snaps up, his mouth askew and brow pinched. “WHAT?”
“Just tell me the truth. I swear, we can work it out with the rest—“
“Is this what—what the fuck—“ he shoves the chair back and steps away “—that’s the reason I’m here right now? I thought you were finally gonna say it!”
Jake rips his glasses off his face and harshly runs his fingers through his frosted tips.
“Say…what? What am I supposed to say? I’m not the one Roque had a damn secret with.”
He’s visibly upset but with bugged-out eyes like he has no idea what to do.
“Well, I’m not a fucking traitor,” he mumbles.
Jake replaces his glasses and takes his phone from the pocket of his low-slung jeans, hitting a few buttons and tossing it onto the table. It slides until it knocks your plate.
His own recorded laugh cuts off quickly. “Okay, PC, what were you saying about Halloween? One more time,” and then comes another slow voice, “I should have told you before I died.
“I love you.”
Your whole body freezes, brain turning the words over and over until it occurs to you…that is your voice.
“I didn’t say that.” Your knee-jerk reaction comes swiftly. “I don’t remember that.”
Jake snorts without humor. “Got that part.”
You’re too stunned to speak. You can’t even imagine when you would have…oh god.
Jake rushes to fill the silence as you die inside, again, maybe more realistically because what.
“Did you at least think I was a badass, like, ya know, a sexy traitor or whatever? Or…were you gonna wrestle me to the ground after I ate a whole pie?”
You keep sitting with your mouth agape.
“You didn’t poison the pizza, did you? Right? Say 'no.' That’s overkill, or just, kill—were gonna kill me?!”
“I’D KNOWN YOU FOR TWO WEEKS,” you explode, bolting out of your own chair.
“Yeah,” Jake squeaks, “I know.”
“Two weeks, and then you taped me saying ‘I love you?’”
“But, like—“ his usually deep timbre pitches super high “…did you?”
“Why would you just sit on that, Jake?!”
He shrugs. “You weren’t exactly sober.”
Too much, too many feelings, all at once. You try to get away, to make a break for the bathroom, but Jake grabs your wrist and swings your momentum to the wall.
Your back hits with a soft thud, pinned in place by Jake’s chest. He’s not breathing heavily, but you are, pushing you against him repeatedly.
That just makes it harder.
Yes, you said it (you guess), and yes, you meant it. Jake, however, hasn’t said word one about if he feels some sort of way for you. Your brain can’t intuit his romantic inclinations two minutes after accusing him of treachery.
He’s…there, not moving, not speaking, lips slightly parted while he stares at you.
You clear your throat.
“You’re…you’re touching me,” you say softly.
Jake doesn’t skip a beat, gently tightening his hold on your arms. “That’s what I do, PC. Finger keyboards.”
You gag as he quickly shakes his head.
“What the fuck?”
“Sounds sooooo bad," Jake moans. "I’m so sorry.” He let’s go of you, steps back, and slaps his hands in the air frantically. “Wait, okay? That was not the joke. I can do it.”
“You’re sick, man.”
Jake rubs at his temples, muttering something about keys, computers, and Halloween. “Hold on...so dumb. This is why I was trying to record it! It’s your joke. You were laying on the bed and--”
“I would never say you fin—“
“He was standing right there,” Jake bursts, scaring you to silence. “Roque. When you said that into the phone, I mean, he was standing at the door and he heard.”
Jensen sighs. Defeated and deflated, he rests his hands on his hips, inhaling sharply.
“So at the port when… He aimed a gun at you and I just—“ he makes a finger gun to point over your shoulder, adding a soft pow sound-effect “—Roque was saying I should have told you before he tried to kill you.”
“About the recording?”
“No.” Jake rocks on his heels.
“About the joke?” Your voice is so small.
His stupid, beautiful blue eyes lift to meet yours.
“No, pin cushion, not about the joke.”
There's a horridly long pause of nothingness.
"Fuck it."
Jake lunges forward with startling intensity, fingers lace behind your head to draw you to him.
You don’t turn away this time.
His lips are soft yet determined, slowly pulsing to transform one kiss into dozens, and he adjusts everything—his height, his stance, his proximity to get even more of you in a single embrace.
“I love you,” Jake whispers, shifting to tilt you left while he goes right. “I should have told you ‘I love you,’ too.”
You promised yourself no attachments, but who are you kidding? You're such a loser, and you found your match.
[Main Masterlist; Light Masterlist; Ko-Fi]
😵💫
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Does anyone know? Could my vitamin D & iron deficiency have caused the 20 years of crippling pain I had before taking a multivitamin +4k iu/day of D?
Without vitamins, I'm short of breath after minor daily activity, inflamed, aching to my BONES, stiff, and my colon is ON FIRE and, to be blunt, not cooperating.
But blood tests have NEVER spotted low iron & low D is "new" within the last 3 years. I've been trying to chase this down since 2000 ish, my energy took a nosedive after I tore my meniscus in 1998 and developed tendinitis after. And I've gradually been collecting more inflammatory issues since.
"Chronic Fatigue" was a new term around then and one they didn't want to diagnose me with, they just shrugged when I didn't line up perfectly with Rheumatoid Arthritis or Fibromyalgia. I ticked a lot of the boxes, but didn't go past the "threshold for diagnosis." They were just like, eat right and take your antidepressants.
That's never been enough. But going on a multivitamin (WITH IRON) seems to have been the tipping point. The high doses of D helped (50k iu/week wore off in 3 days, so I took 4k a day and WOW hi awake now), but I was still getting anemia and fatigue and constant soft tissue and tendon pain.
Those nearly disappeared until the doc took me off vitamins for surgery prep :\ Now OMG I'M ON FIRE AND STIFF AGAIN.
It would honestly be nice, in a way, if most of my chronic pain, inflammation, and fatigue turns out to be "you just need vitamins & sleep, let's fix your sinuses, here's a pill."
But it will be UNSATISFYING after a flare up & $$$$ bill
(uterus is still trying to kill me, the vitamins didn't tame it.)
For extra context, because who knows what counts? Maybe y'all do, the docs don't... Anyway. My fingernails have minor ridges along the length, and twist a bit (they look like broad side-bent shovels if I let them grow out). And I have tinnitis, chronic depression, anxiety, ADHD, possibly autistic and bipolar. And was super flexible til all this inflammation turned me into a board. (Not double jointed or anything though.)
Just uh. Hi Chronic Illness Tumblr, you know more than Google. Help? XD
Thyroid checks out fine, btw, but my liver and kidneys are sus.
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