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shewholovestoread · 3 years

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The L Word Generation Q - Bette and Gigi

I got an ask about why Gini worked while Gibette didn’t considering that both Dani and Bette are pretty similar to each other. I’ve written in detail about Gigi and Dani which you can read here:

Gigi Ghorbani on The L Word Generation Q

The L Word Generation Q - Is Dani into Gigi - Part 1 of 2

The L Word Generation Q - Is Dani into Gigi - Part 2 of 2

BETTE AND DANI:

There are definite similarities between them. Bette lost her dad a while back and her mother may as well have not been there. Bette goes so far as to say that she’s who she is today “despite” her mother not because of her. I don’t know her relationship with sister since I’m not familiar with the OG show so I won’t go into that. From what little I’ve read, while her relationship with Tina survived the longest (among the OG gang) they weren’t the healthiest couple out there.

Like Bette, Dani lost her mother when she was pretty young and was thereafter raised by her father, who was present physically, but not emotionally. He made sure her materialistic needs were met but couldn��t be bothered by her emotional needs.

They both grow up to be fiercely independent women who are driven and ambitious and don’t apologize for being either and nor should they. But it also makes them emotionally closed off and unwilling to open up to people about their fears and vulnerabilities. It’s not easy for either of them.

I think the reason Gigi x Dani worked and Gigi x Bette didn’t has to do more with the way the two women treated and behaved with Gigi.

BETTE AND GIGI:

Gigi and Bette are setup as blind dates for each other by Alice and Nat (not the best idea in hindsight) and this was Gigi’s reaction when she realised that Bette was her date:

She’s genuinely thrilled, look how happy and excited she is. Now compare that with Bette:

When you look up the word disappointment in the dictionary, this is the image you see. There’s dread at the prospect of having to spend the evening with Gigi. The date from then on is a disaster in every sense of the word, Gigi tries to keep the conversation going but gets close to nothing from Bette:

Things only change once Tina and Carrie show up, the last people Bette wanted to see, at the same time, I think she’s also embarrassed at being there. A quick recap to Gigi is all they have time for before Tina and Carrie reach them. Bette’s rattled enough that she even forgets Gigi’s name and embarrassed enough that she doesn’t want Tina to know that she agreed to be setup on a blind date, and she’s fumbling enough that Gigi has to step in and she takes control of the situation effortlessly, this is where she really shines. And this isn’t lost on Bette:

That’s the first time in that entire evening when Bette looks at Gigi with something other than dread and feigning polite interest.

Now, we already know that Gigi is an emotionally open person and since she’s being her usual self, she checks in with Bette to see how she’s holding up. Once she senses Bette’s hesitance, she goes first, talking about how difficult it was seeing Alice and Nat together, prompting Bette to open a little about herself and Tina. She opens up first in an effort to put Bette at ease and it works.

Seeing how preoccupied Bette is with Tina and Carrie, Gigi once again takes control and prompts Bette to kiss her:

And since Gigi is an excellent kisser, it’s not long before Bette forgets about both Tina and Carrie.

We next meet them at Bette’s home, after Dani’s disastrous wedding.

Bette is telling Gigi about the working with Zakarian and her frustration. but there was a tiny bit, like a blink and you miss it shot, when Bette mentions the artist Kerri James Marshall and Gigi replies with not knowing who that is, there’s a quick look from Bette, almost as if she’s disappointed, that Gigi doesn’t know who he is. The conversation continues but it’s still pretty surface-level, Bette is talking about her work, Gigi is trying to be supportive.

Gigi’s trademark eye contact is still intact here, everything in this exchange tells me that Gigi is definitely interested and Bette’s not entirely disinterested either, there’s definitely a spark here.

The next two sequences, poker and when Bette introduces Gigi to Dani both showcase how open Gigi is with Bette, she’s physically affectionate and feels comfortable being that way with Bette

This is also one of the rare instances when Bette returns her affection. This is followed by Bette introducing Gigi as her girlfriend and Gigi’s visibly affected.

Everything up until this moment, lead me to believe that there maybe was a future for them as a couple, that it would possibly work between them. But when I re-watched the scene for what felt like the 1000th time, I realised something else, I don’t think that the “girlfriend” line meant much to Bette, I felt that it was something she just said but it didn’t have the same implications for her as it did for Gigi.

When we catch up next with them at the art show, this is where I felt the tiniest of cracks begin to appear.

Gigi’s clearly into Bette and she’s going by their earlier interaction, being physically affectionate and Bette’s really not into it. Now it could be something as simple as this space being important for her, something that’s almost like work but deeper but again, what I see on her face is impatience and annoyance and neither is a good sign.

Things thankfully end on a good note when Bette discovers Pippa Pascale’s new work and it turns this serious Bette into someone so happy that she literally jumps with glee.

And it’s at times like that that I can understand why someone would have a crush on this woman, beyond just the fact that she’s incredibly attractive. Her passion makes her come alive like nothing else and it’s electrifying.

We’ve finally reached the day where it all falls apart. Bette’s just found out that Angie went behind her back and did the dna test and got her results and this sends Bette into a spiral making her forget that Gigi was going to show up and presumably meet Angie.

This exchange is key because it really sets up whenever Dani and Gigi have a disagreement. Everyone agrees that Bette was going through a hard time, it could not have been easy on her. But the fact that she so quickly closes Gigi out is important because it shows that she was never too invested to begin with, she never actually let Gigi in. Bette expects Gigi to let it go but then lashes out when she refuses to let her off the hook. And what’s another indication that Bette never had strong feelings for Gigi? The fact that her leaving, clearly hurt and angry doesn’t bother Bette for a second. She doesn’t try to stop her, doesn’t try to reconcile. Granted, her main concern was her daughter but she didn’t even try and that’s very telling.

A quick side-note on Gigi, I think the minute Bette shut her out, Gigi started distancing herself from Bette, both emotionally and physically. I think Gigi is someone who’s good at managing her feelings and she starts pulling away way before their eventual break up.

Their next encounter is a really bad idea on Bette’s part and a really selfish one.

Bette’s angry at Pippa’s refusal to work with her and I think she’s very clearly attracted to her but instead of going with Pippa when offered the chance, she instead comes to Gigi and even in her drunken state, you can see that it’s not really Gigi she wants. She turns her away so she doesn’t see her face and then her own expression is like “this is not who I want to be with right now” She is literally using Gigi and it’s not a good look.

The next morning is plain painful. Gigi thinks that maybe they’ve fixed whatever mess they were in only to realise that things haven’t really changed. Bette has already moved on to greener pastures, she’s now fully focused on Pippa, Gigi was always a temporary fix and is no longer required. Even here, the only time Bette looks at Gigi is when she mentions that she’s meeting Dani. That’s what gets her interest:

This is Bette being a jerk, she’s clearly set her sights on someone else but is still slightly jealous that Gigi is meeting Dani. I think a part of her is jealous that they are getting closer but there’s literally nothing she can do about it since she explicitly tells Gigi that she has to issues with them being friends.

Her text to Gigi later that day is just a booty call, it’s all about Bette’s needs and not about Gigi’s at all. I think Bette had made a pattern of calling Gigi when she had a hard day and needed to blow off some steam but was otherwise closed off.

I also think that Bette sees a lot of herself in Dani, and she’s just plain fond of her which is why I think it annoys her to see her and Gigi together during the karaoke:

She’s not happy at all and at the same time, I have a hard time pin-pointing the reason for this reaction. She’s not interested in Gigi, doesn’t think that Gigi is smart enough (ouch), is currently seeking Pippa and has no romantic or sexual interest in Dani and she’s still pissed off that Gigi and Dani are hanging out. Her eventual rebuff of Gigi also illustrates that she had indeed found someone who is her equal in a way that Gigi wasn’t, except she was much harsher when she said it.

It is abundantly clear that Bette isn’t over Tina. She spent most of season 1 hoping that Tina would come back only to learn that not only was that not going to happen but Tina was also about to get married. Her intense dislike of Carrie stems from her own unresolved feelings for Tina. She’s still very much in love with her. I think with Pippa, there’s an infatuation but I think Bette is more in love with her work than the woman herself and it’s only a matter of time before either Pippa or Bette realise this.

For every time that Bette shut Gigi out, Dani made a concerted effort to open up. They had actual conversations about what they were feeling and those things made all the difference. In Dani, Gigi saw someone who was willing to put in the work. Dani actively made the effort and Bette didn’t and it was that simple.

The reason Gigi and Bette didn’t work out was because Bette never gave them a chance. Gigi was a diversion from the get-go, there was never a chance. Bette was only interested as long it made her forget and the minute someone shinier came along, she dropped Gigi.

Bette is a complex character who is in desperate need of therapy. She has so many unresolved issues and her stubborn refusal to talk about them only harms her in the long run. I hope season 3 has her examine her actions and the consequences those actions had on the people closest to her. I think she’s so preoccupied with her “legacy” that she’s lost sight of the actual here and now and I hope the next season addresses some of the fallout of her decisions this season.

#bette porter #jennifer beals #gigi ghorbani #dani nuñez #dani núñez #sepideh moafi #arienne mandi #the l word #the l word generation q #tlwgq #wlw #gigi x bette #gibette #gigi x dani #ship: dani x jamie #dani x gigi #gini #dani and gigi

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queen-scribbles · 2 years

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Fic Author Self-Rec

Rules: When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass it on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread self-love! Tagging @starsandskies @haledamage @risualto @undyingembers

tagged by @greyias and dear lord, was it hard to narrow down. xD I unironically love and reread the vast majority of my stuff. To make it a tiny bit easier on myself, this is just picking from one-shots, none of the multichapter and I still couldn’t stop at five. I’m a bad girl 😂

---

Taking Initiative (SWtOR, f!Trooper/Jorgan)

I know, I know, I never shut up about this one, but guys. I cannot stress enough how proud I am of the pacing and the banter and Keme backstory drop and I just love Jorgan an insane amount, okay?

Unmerited (SWtOR, f!Consular/Arcann)

I went from “idk if I can get a handle on Arcann’s voice” to multiple capslocked comments/tag rants here and AO3 about how I nailed him, what did I MEAN I’d never written him before??? So I guess I did it right. This one’s pre-relationship but Arcann’s fallen pretty hard so, y’know. Semi-subtle pining and Endrali being a sweetheart and I’m proud of the dialogue and the whole thing really.

Fierce Competition (Wayhaven, f!Detective/Felix)

Janine enlightens Felix about paper airplanes and it’s only the.... third cutest thing I’ve ever written them, but the banter game is one point and Tina has a pretty decent cameo, so what’s not to love? :D

Breather (Speaker, m!Seer/Rory)

Again, pre-relationship, but Phillip’s an adorable tongue-tied crushing mess and Rory’s taking full advantage of that, so I still love this one an awful, awful lot, even if it’s technically not canon anymore with how chapter three unfolds. I love banter and these two have really good banter. When Phillip can remember how to talk around Rory, at least.

The Honest Truth (Pillars of Eternity, Edér Teylecg/OC)

Fake Dating + Mutual Pining comes to a head, and one of my favorite proposal scenes I’ve ever written(that I had to sit on for, like five months before I could use it lmao TORTURE). Which is why it won over Something There and Certain as the Sun, even though I also love those two an inordinate amount.

Warmth (Greedfall, f!de Sardet/Kurt)

They both deserve fluff, Vesper deserves a break, and I got to multitask both in this one. :D (I also just like the idea of it not so much being big/little spoon with them but Vesper half the time ending up on top of Kurt and him having to extricate himself bc he’s a much earlier riser than she is.)

#tagged #fluff and banter are my bread and butter and i REFUSE to apologize for that #with the occasional sucker punch of angst bc it's FUN >:3 but then i usually make it better with copious fluff #no pressure on the tags obviously <3

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hedgiwithapen · 3 years

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Leverage + kittens

Not quite your brand, but on the other hand, 150% your brand

It turns out that being free from “ Stuck in the Van” doesn’t mean much if it’s replaced with “ stay in the house” and Breanna mutters curses against “mean genies” for a solid half hour. She knows it’s just to keep out of sight, like back-up. Alec always impressed on her--she got the idea it was a learn-from-my-mistakes-- the importance of keeping the mark from seeing everyone too soon. If someone calls an audible, or new information turns up that changes the whole plan, it’s good to have a new face in reserve. It’s not because they don’t trust her, Eliot tells her seriously. It’s because she’s very important. Yeah, sure. She gets the idea that they’re trying to protect her from this job, something about old friends. The house is huge--she has waaaaay more room than she ever did at Nana’s-- but she still chafes, eager to do more than follow the money and read emails and texts and whatever else she can dig up. She can only read through so many clear facebook market place scam messages in one sitting. Who cares this much about paying 10 bucks for lamps??? Breanna decides to go exploring. The house is fully tricked out, and she knows that Alec took what was already there and had even more secret panels and cubbies and passages put in. She also knows that some of them have prizes in them, and that Alec said there are still a bunch no one’s found. She’s exploring the attic when she hears the noise and frowns. It’s not the scratching of rats--for all she lightly teases Eliot about his ability to identify anything off the tiniest clue, she knows the sound of rats too well. She runs her hands along the wall and finds a patch that’s warm. “Well,” she says out loud, though her com is off, “I’m either about to get savaged by a raccoon or not.”

She pushes on a section of wood, feeling for a place it might move, and it swings open a little, revealing a cubbyhole lined with lint and scraps of litter, a tiny passage stretching beyond that must lead into the roof itself, and--- Breanna taps her com on. “ Hey I know, I know you said only to com you if it was an emergency--” “Are you hurt? Did people try to break in? Do you have your taser?” Parker cuts in fast. “No, No, and Yes,” Breanna rattles back just as quickly. “Um, I found kittens.” “Kittens?” Parker chirps, and then adds an accented, “Oh, no, nothing, just the dust--” to whoever’s in the same room as her. “Where did you find kittens? You’re supposed to stay in the house,” Eliot says. “I am in the house!” Breanna says, affronted. “The kittens are in the house, they’re in the wall.” “There are not kittens in the house, I would have known,” Eliot grumbles. “Uh, tell that to them. There are three, can we keep them? “No.” “Please?” “Yeah, Eliot, please?” Parker puts in. “ If they could break into the house with all our security and even you didn’t notice, they’ve earned it. “ “We can’t have pets, what happens when we have to go out of town? Or you get bored of them?” “I’ll ask Tina to look after them! And I’m not going to get bored, I wouldn’t give them away because I don’t want them anymore, when, when they get bigger and they’re not little and cute, I--, that’s not going to happen.” Breanna says fiercely. She puts a hand into the cubby, and one of the kittens starts purring instantly, whiskers brushing her fingertips. “....I’m not feeding them or cleaning the catbox or driving them to the vet or...waving those little feathers on strings or anything,” Eliot insists. “I’ll do all of that!” Breanna swears. There’s a long pause, filled with the sound of a particularly brutal fight/ “Fine,” Eliot agrees. “Yessssss,” Breanna cheers. “Thank you! I’m gonna get them some snacks, and--” “Don’t give them my steak.” “Breanna, hate to interrupt but this is urgent,” Sophie joins the call for the first time. “Was there anything in the emails about a lamp shaped like a fish?” “Oh, uh, yeah. Sending you the deets now.” Breanna fishes out her phone, sends the message, and takes three pictures on the kittens to send to Alec. The biggest of them, a calico, yawns and shows off all her sharp little teeth, and the little tuxedo looking one with a white tip to his tail starts mewing for affection. “I’m going to regret this.” Eliot sighs. ~ “Regret this, huh?” Breanna asks, holding up her phone. Eliot is sitting on the couch, besieged. “Don’t you dare,” he says pulling the calico off his shoulder where she’s been chewing on his hair. “Molly, stop--” she starts chewing on his shirt sleeve instead. “Oh, this is video, streaming straight to Alec.” Breanna reaches out a finger towards the kitties. “Awww, hello! Hello Widmark!” she coos to the tux, who has yet to move from the curve of Eliot’s elbow, purring his lungs out. The tabby, Trevor, launches himself from Eliot’s knee to the top of the couch, stepping on Molly, and the chase is on. “Dammit, Casey,” Eliot sighs, and Breanna beams.

#dammit hedgi day 2021 #leverage redemption

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ren-c-leyn · 2 years

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2, 6 and 9 for the wip playlist ask game? :D[@fiercely-raging-writer]

2. Do you have OC specific playlists?

I do not. I only have playlists for the WIPs themselves.

6. Does music help you set the mood when you write?

Yes, it does. I specifically pick out songs that have moods similar to the kinds of scenes I'm expecting to be in my WIPs and will listen to those as I hit the scenes they're for ^^

9. Any songs that fit your setting?

Skulls and Trombones by Two Steps From Hell and Flamerock Refuge - Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon's Keep by Raison Varner fit The Shackles of Time's world pretty well. The quiet and the chaos and the general liveliness of it.

Thanks for dropping by, I hope you have a lovely day/evening ^^

#ask games #The Shackles of Time

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dreamingabouttaron · 3 years

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History Repeating - Part 2

Warning - Mentions of Unplanned Teenage Pregnancy.

Taron knocked on your bedroom door and waited. He impatiently knocked again, and again. When you didn’t answer he slowly opened the door; only to be surprised to see the room empty. He frowned to himself and closed the door back up before heading down the corridor to the family bathroom. As he enters he noticed a piece of paper tucked neatly underneath the stand alone sink. He huffed loudly to himself before bending over and picking it up. As he picked it up, the bright blue lettering caught his attention.

“Shit.” He whispered to himself before taking a closer look.

A bright smile appeared on his face when he suddenly realised what this meant. He quickly left the bathroom and hurried down the stairs to find his wife. Taron practically ran into the kitchen, scooped his wife up and kissed her face over and over, causing Lily to squeal loudly.

“What on earth has gotten into you?” Lily laughed when Taron finally placed her back on the ground.

Taron placed both his hands around Lily’s face, gently covering her ears. His eyes were beaming with love for her. Lily looked at him with a confused expression. Taron was just about to open his mouth when they both heard the front door open and close. Lily pulled herself away from Taron briefly as you entered the house after taking Nelly out for a short walk.

“Dinner in half an hour, Grace.” Your mum called out before you ran back up to the safety of your room.

Taron came back over to Lily and wrapped his arms around her waist. “When were you going to tell me?” His voice was low and flirty.

Lily felt her heart stop in her chest. “Tell you what?” She asked cautiously, not fully following her husband.

“That we’re going to have another baby.” He said gently, unable to contain his smile any longer.

Lily couldn’t stop the little gasp from escaping her mouth. “Tan? What do you mean?” She asked not wanted to give away too much with her stiff body language. Taron released himself away from Lily before showing her the Blue Clear instruction manual he had found on the floor. Lily’s eyes widened when she saw what was in his hand. She knew she couldn’t lie for you, the truth was going to have to come out at some point.

“Tan…” Lily started with a slight quiver in her voice. “That’s…not mine.”

Taron released a light chuckle before saying, “Well, who’s is it then?”

Lily looked up at him with large sympathetic eyes. It took him a moment for things to click. His face dropped from excitement to anger. His whole demeanour changed. He pulled himself away from Lily before practically running to the bottom of the stairs.

“Grace!” your father’s voice ripped up the stairs and through the empty hallways. “Get down here right now!” He sounded enraged. Your heart leaped in fear. You dropped everything you were doing and dragged yourself down the stairs to see your fathers face, his eyes were fierce.

“Take a seat.” Taron said pointing at the sofa, not exactly in a ‘if you want to’ voice but a ‘you better park your arse right here, or you else you’ll regret it’ voice. Slowly, you sat down. Your heart sank, you couldn’t even look him in the eyes. “Grace,” Taron began, trying to get your attention. “You’ve got two minutes to tell me what the hell is going on,” his voice was shaking.

“What are you talking about?” your eyebrows furrowed, you looked over at your mother who was stood in the corner of the room.

“Is this yours? Are you pregnant?” He asked as he uncurled his fist to better reveal the pregnancy test manual he was holding.

You clenched your jaw and let a heartbeat pass before slowly nodding, keeping your teary eyes down. You couldn’t look at him. You watched from your peripheral vision as he shook his head, “How...how could you let this happen?”

“Dad, I’m sorry- I...I didn’t want this to happen,” You said, trying to make things right even though you knew they were far from it.

Taron held his tightly fisted hand close to his lips, “you know...I questioned your mother first because-” he stopped himself mid-sentence and laughed unamused to himself. “Never in a million years did I think this could be yours.”

You wrung your hands in your lap, watching him nervously as tears fell from your eyes. For the first time since you’d come downstairs, he looked you in the eyes. They were sad. So sad and fatherly you couldn’t handle it. You both were frozen in silence, your sobs being the only sound in the room.

“Get out….” Taron snapped, finally breaking the ice in the room. He looked positively furious; his eyes were darker then you'd ever seen them and his face had darkened from red to an almost purple colour.

“What?” Lily shouted as she walked further into the room. “No…”

“Get out! I want her out! After everything I’ve done for you. This is how you repay me?” Taron shouted causing you only to cry louder and harder. You stood up feeling light headed and shaken. Leaning against the edge of the sofa for support, you somehow managed to find your way out of the room and half way up the stairs when you jumped at the sound of the front door being slammed. The sound made you collapse in a heap on the stairs. The tears burning your face, stinging every pore. You struggled to catch your breath as you started to panic.

Taron had to take himself off. He couldn’t believe the news he had just heard, but he also couldn’t believe the way he was acting. His emotions were rife. He didn’t know how to feel exactly. He was so incredibly protective of you and he felt like he hadn’t done his job. He didn’t protect you. You still had your whole life in front of you. The thought of his beautiful daughter getting up to such acts made his stomach turn. How could someone take advantage of her in such a way. In his head she was still his tiny little girl. And now, she was about to become a mother herself.

As Taron walked to cool off, he thought back to when he found out that Lily was pregnant and the joy and fear that he had felt. He could imagine how you felt. He remember how terrified he was to tell his mum. She had done everything to protect and look after him, he had never felt so ashamed in that moment telling her. Of course she was supportive and loved every moment of becoming a grandparent. Just like he would, some day, because you were everything that he had always wanted and never knew that he needed.

“Mum, there’s something Lily and I would like to tell you.” Taron starts and thickly swallows, Lily’s grip tightens around his hand. Taron looked at her for encouragement, even though he knew she was just as terrified.

“I-I…I’m…pregnant-” Lily stuttered.

Tina’s eye widened briefly, before blinking then narrowing a little, a smile showing the lack of belief. However, when there was no “Joking!” or “Got ya!” to follow the bold statement, her smile dissolved, horror showing plain as day.

“What do you mean you’re pregnant?” Guy asked nervously as Tina sat back against the sofa and staring off into space for a few moments taking in then news that had just been announced.

Taron’s heart began to race, he started to breathe rapidly, panicking of what was yet to come. He had a feeling his mum was going to explode at him. She had always taught him to use protection. She had raised him all by herself when Taron’s parents broke up. Taron knew the struggles she went through to give him the opportunities he had.

Guy looks up at his stepson, rubbing his hands together. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. We went to doctors the other day who confirmed it.” Lily butted in, trying to take some strain off Taron.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Tina ran her hand through her hair before standing up. She walked over to Lily and tells her to stand up. Lily anxiously rises to her feet. Taron watches with wide eyes, unsure of what his mother was going to do and say. The tension was released with Tina pulled Lily into a warm hug. Taron pushed himself up and pulled his mother into a hug moments after.

“You’re not mad?” He asked in a low voice.

“No. I’m just disappointed, because you have your whole life ahead of you, but I’m your mother and I’ve always promised to support you in any way I can.” She says as tears start to cradle in her eyes.

When Taron finally arrived back at the house, he takes a moment to compose himself before entering. The downstairs was empty, dinner still half made in the kitchen. Taron quietly walks up the stairs, taking each step in slowly. He hears the slight mutterings coming from inside your bedroom.

As he approaches your bedroom, he stands silently in the doorway, taking in the scene before him. After a moment or two he walks over to take your hand, squeezing it gently to make sure you knew he were there. Meeting your father’s eyes, your heart shattered, knowing how much you’d failed him. Especially after he had worked so hard to give you the life that you deserved.

“How many tests did you take?” Your father said in an almost whisper.

You dried your tears softly. Your quivering hand reached down to open a drawer next to your bed, pulling out the tests you’d kept hidden away. Taron couldn’t look down, keeping his scared eyes on yours or Lily’s the whole time.

“I’m scared dad, and I need you and mum around me right now. I just don’t want to let you down,” you confess.

His eyes fell on the tests widening, not expecting there to be so many. Instinctively, he gasped, horrified. He always thought you would be careful and take precautions, especially at such a vulnerable age, but when he saw the tears continue to fall, he knew he needed to be there. He needed to be a father. It was his job. Especially after the way he had just reacted.

“You know that you could never let me down, and nothing will change that.” he comforted, kneeling in front of you, resting his hands on your legs. Just like he had done when Lily found out she was pregnant with you. “I think we all need to have a bit of a talk though; don’t you think?”

You nodded slowly, slightly taken aback by the comforting approach your father now took. Inside, he was raging, but his anger wasn’t the solution to this situation. He knew his previous behaviour had been out of order but unfortunately he could take it back. “I’m sorry dad.” You blurted out.

“Don’t say that,” he requested shaking his head, “you don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

Your mum smiled softly, turning to face you. She nodded lightly, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. “Just because you’re pregnant, doesn’t change the fact we still love you endlessly.”

“You’re not mad at me?” You whimpered, looking between the two of your parents. Of course, there was an element of worry, you were still learning and growing, leaning on the two of them. But they couldn’t tell you that, neither of them wanted to make things worse for you. You were fragile, scared, not just as you thought to the future, but the worried expression evidently on show on Taron’s face.

“I think we’re both just a little bit surprised sweetheart, but maybe this could be the making of you, just because you’re a young mum doesn’t mean you can’t be the best mum in the world. Your dad and I managed, but we were slightly older.”

“I don’t think I can do this by myself, will the two of you be with me through it all?” You asked, looking at you both through tear-stained eyes.

Despite how shocked he was, there was no way Taron could ever abandon his only child, and now, his grandchild. “Listen to me closely, your mum and I are going to be with you every step of the way, whenever you need something, we’ll be there for you. It’s going to be hard, and at times you’ll probably just want to give up, but we’re a family, and we’ll get through this together. Even when you’re throwing up in the early hours of the morning or staying awake because the baby is wriggling.”

“Your dad used to stay up with me, massaging my tummy trying to stop you wriggling around.” Your mums comment made your dad blush. “D-do you have any idea who the father of your baby is?” Your mum asked changing the mood back to a more serious tone.

“Y-yeah,” You stuttered, your eyes flickering to Taron. Straight away he knew there was more to things, but right now, he didn’t want to push it, simply offering you a warming smile. You didn’t want to provoke him any further. That was a conversation for another day, but father or not, Taron would step up whenever he needed, the early mornings and late nights, he’d never leave you to suffer alone.

“We’re going to be the greatest team, you don’t have to face any of this alone, not if you don’t want to, we’ll always be here to support you,” Taron assured you as he kissed the back of your hand.

“Thank you for both being so incredible about all of this, you really are the greatest parents in the world.”

“It might not be ideal, but we’re family, and we stick together no matter what. We’ll make this work, just like we always do,” Your mother whispered.

After a moment, Taron stood up and encompassed you in a crushing hug. “You’re my baby girl, and I love you so much.” your father spoke softly, his voice breaking. You felt a tear fall onto your shoulder, causing you to cry harder. “It’s hard to watch you grow up. It’s hard to see you start a family of your own. When I look at you, I still see my little girl,” he pulled you even closer, crying harder into your shoulder.

A/N - Any feedback would be appreciated! Thank you for all the support so far!

Tag list - @writingformany

If anyone would like to be added to a tag list please let me know!

#taron egerton #taron egerton fanfiction #i love taron #taron egerton imagine #taron x reader #taron egerton fanfic #taron egerton angst #angst #fanfiction angst #fanfiction #16 and pregnant #dad!taron #taron!dad

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lesbian-fabray · 3 years

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the unsinkable 8 and their glee equivalents

shelby goodkind = quinn fabray

this is obvious. this was literally the comparison that got me to watch the wilds. there have been like a million people to point this out. they’re the same person, but shelby is mostly nice to people and is canonically a lesbian, while quinn’s manipulative and abrasive and the show pretends she isn’t a lesbian

dot campbell = sam evans

now, dot definitely has more brain cells than sam, but they’re very similar. they both have a very strong sense of right and wrong and will do anything to protect and support the people they love

martha blackburn = brittany s pierce

these two are there to be the source of positivity for their friend groups. they keep the people around them from killing each other

toni shalifoe = noah puckerman

toni everything is everything i like about puck rolled up into a tiny angry lesbian, and the stuff i hate about puck is nowhere to be found. like the fierce protectiveness and self doubt and all that

fatin jadmani = santana lopez

i see a lot of people compare toni and santana, and i strongly disagree. i feel fatin and santana is a more accurate comparison. they both have a tendency to be kind of, for lack of a better word, bitchy, but they genuinely care so deeply about their friends and will do anything to be there for them

rachel reid = finn hudson

these two both believe themselves to be leaders, but have a tendency to be selfish and react very negatively when things don’t go exactly how they want them to go. they both struggle with the idea of their lives being thrown of course because the future that they thought theyd have isn’t one that they can have.

leah rilke = tina cohen chang

first of all, they have a very similar vibe. they both want to be taken seriously and kind of lash out when they aren’t.

nora reid = mike chang

both of them are quiet and supportive of their friends/family. they also serve as a reality check for the people around them and forget to prioritize themselves sometimes

#the wilds #glee

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sunnymenagerie · 3 years

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RuPaul's Drag Race: Where Was Pink Slip?

Tina was right...there….and RuPaul really went and sent home a queen that was on the rise and not the one that’s been in quicksand from day one?

The remaining eight queens reached the makeover challenge and because of Miss Rona, could not makeover anyone from the outside world, so they were paired off by a psychic - yeah - and told to makeover one another in their drag style. First though, what the fuck was up with the psychic, and did anyone else feel like RuPaul wasn’t in the room with them? He looked like he was in front of a green screen the entire time and the psychic? Random.

She went from talking about Tina’s never-there-father to Utica’s dead cow. Again, random. Like, can we not act shocked that this lady knew things that they probably said online or in their audition videos? Anyways...Dollar Tree Miss Cleo paired the girls off in teams of two based on who could learn the most from one another. Unfortunately for the uptight Rose that meant getting down with the red, yellow, and orange-hued loosey-goosey Tina Burner. I went into this worried for Rose because they were going to be judged as a pair this week and well, that first look Tina put Rose in was a hot fucking mess. However, what she walked down the runway in was somehow worse!

Speaking of worried, from the preview last week I knew Symone and Utica were going to be quite the pair, and with one of them just having visited the bottom two...I didn’t know if that was going to deflate the small-town queen or ignite her. Right after we watched her rock an afro made of squirrels as if not to appropriate a white man with an afro, we watched her become very wary of stepping into the fierce heels of Symone because like all of Symone’s runways, her makeover one was unapologetically Black. Inspired by the Halle Berry cult classic ‘BAPS,’ Utica was either going to fucking serve or wind up lip-syncing for the second time in a row, and we all know it would’ve been her last. However, it wasn’t just on Utica’s fear of being canceled, because Utica’s look and runway walk is just as hard to imitate, especially for a fashion queen like her partner. Thankfully this pairing fucking worked, which is something I can’t say for Olivia and Denali.

Three of the pairs were pretty evenly matched in terms of size, especially Olivia and Denali, so I thought...these girls have it the easiest. Plus, they’re gorgeous and seem easy to paint. I guess when you assume it’s too easy, it’s actually well - let’s just say that one’s makeup was questionable, and the other was lacking a tiny purse. Unlike Denali and Olivia, Gottmik and Kandy Muse faced the hardest challenge based on their size difference. Nothing in Gottmik’s bags was going to fit her season 13 sister and they knew they were going to have to create something on the fly, and take another garment in. They were safe, but honestly - I didn’t live for Kandy’s look which...

In terms of the challenge, the judges weren’t wrong to declare Symone and Utica the winners of this week’s challenge. They embraced one another’s not only aesthetic but actually learned what they were supposed to from it. Plus, neither of them let their sister walk out there looking like a fool. Symone was engulfed in the oddities that make Utica standout, while Symone’s aura oozed out of Utica with every confident step she took. The judges had been waiting for weeks for Utica to serve fashion and tonight she did. Who didn’t fare well, most of the other girls. I will say that Rose did as best she could with what she had given Tina was her partner. This was the second time in 10 weeks that Tina’s looked okay. Rose...oh Rose, here’s where we have a case of someone letting their sister look horrendous.

Look, there were several weeks during this season where Tina Burner wore only three prominent colors for her brand. So when it came time to dress Rose like her, where the hell were the reds, yellows, and oranges? She went out looking like the blacklisted queen from season 12. It didn’t feel like Tina at all, and I feel like Tina should’ve been in the bottom two alongside Olivia since Miss Lux didn’t really put herself into Denali’s look. Which, Denali looked good - better than Olivia in my opinion, but…ya know. As for Gottmik and Kandy, I thought Gottmik looked great but I expected her to give us more of a New York City, Bronx look instead of a Harley Davidson Model. Then there’s Kandy, the makeup was good but I thought we’d see the actual Gottmik face. I was left underwhelmed with those two but agreed that they’d be rightfully safe as they were just...

Ugh, judging in pairs was such a mistake because, in the end, the wrong girl went home. Olivia and Tina should have been trying to save their ass with Mary Mary, but alas...Denali was in the bottom and despite two strong ass back-to-back top three placements - Ru sent her skating. I didn’t think Denali was going to make the top four, but I didn’t see her leaving before her makeover partner or Tina.

Next week is another acting challenge. The one where they have to sell an item, and while Utica just won a challenge, we all know she’s not the best in these situations. Even though she has all that improv to her name. Next week could either be the week she or Tina finally shines on their own, or we could be seeing them in the bottom.

Makeover Looks Ranked:

Utica: Once she got out of her head, she finally brought her runway to new heights

Symone: For as weird as it was, that headpiece was so Coachella, acid trip beautiful

Gottmik: It was a nice fit, I just wasn’t a fan of the print

Denali: She looked great but it just wasn’t Olivia Lux

Tina Burner: Rose should dress her more often

Olivia Lux: She looked like a used loofa

Rose: The face was a mess and the outfit was tragic

Kandy Muse:

Week 10 Rankings & Reasonings:

Symone - With another win under her belt, we’re heading into an acting challenge. There is no way she is going anywhere anytime soon - unless they surprise them with a sewing AND singing challenge!

Gottmik - Safe this week, but she still killed her runway and like Symone, knows how to deliver in an acting challenge

Rose - Rose being near the bottom this week was not her fault. She made over Tina the best she could, and with the acting challenge being a solo game - she has a chance to outshine her competitors

Olivia - Yes, most of the girls said her name when asked who should go home but as someone who bounces back and forth on the spectrum between bottom and top, I don’t think she’s close to leaving us quite yet

Kandy Muse - Her personality will lead her to another week on the show

Utica - One win to her name doesn't mean anything, especially when she’s gotta act next? We’ve all seen her bomb before in challenges like this so it’s going to be interesting to see if she actually grasps the concept of Drag Race humor

Tina Burner -

#rupauls drag race #drag race #gottmik #symone #tina burner #olivia lux #rose #denali #kandy muse #utica #tv review #tv recap #television #vh1 #drag queens

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doodle-do-wop · 3 years

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Hi and welcome to 'I'm on my late night Gallagher high and you're stuck here with me' I'm your host, very very tired deity with 69 spelling errors and no maturity

So we dont know much about Mick Morrison and they are my topic of the hour(please note these are all HEADCANNONS, I am not Ally Carter and if your version of Mick does not fit mine, hot sauce)

Mick is from a predominately male family(oh her father's side). She has all brothers and is the one girl. Her father is your average retired agent who worked in the field for a short while and settled down soon after retirement. He keeps a tight ship but he is a dad so there are a few exceptions.

The world surprised him the day Mick was born with a tiny little baby boy and single fatherhood, his wife passing away shortly after giving birth and the world surprised him yet again a few years later when Mick was about 4 or 5 with a daughter who wouldn't leave his side for a second.

Mick was a very tiny kid, always the shortest and adorably chubby. Mick was a wild kid, her hair was almost never combed and always tangled in something she found romping around the woods with her brothers. She copied a lot of her fathers mannerisms and though Mick takes great pride when people mention she's a lot like her dad it is also very embarrassing when they do the same thing at the same time.

When Mick came to Gallagher she surprised her dad and her brothers by shooting up a fair couple of inches and just kept growing big and strong and filled with lots of love for her family and her many new sisters. It took every inch of willpower in Mr. Morrison to not crush his daughter's friends when they came over because he was so overjoyed she found her people. Of course this did not stop him from showing off every photo and home video he had of his little princess much to Mick's dismay and Anna and Eva's enjoyment.

Mick is the baby of the family but has two of her brother's beat in height and almost all of them in strength.

Mick, like Tina and Bex, is fiercely loyal to her sisters but has a more quiet way of showing it by small acts of kindness and training hard everyday so when the time comes to protect her family, she will be strong enough to do so with them by her side.

She has never been self conscious about her body shape or size because her dad always told her that she was made perfectly to hold lots of love and give the best hugs(which she totally does) though there are a few small occasions where she wouldnt mind being just a little bit smaller(its harder to keep up with Courtney and her wild fighting style of she keep flipping over her and sliding under)

#trans Mick #gallagher girls #mick #mick morrison #definitely was the first to call Zach 'zucchini' and it just caught on like wild fire #mick has big hands to give great high fives #and to smack the shit out of her brother for eatting her fucking food

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romansrace · 3 years

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Season 13 Sassy Reviews: Episode 02 - Condragulations

Oh mama. This one didn’t do anything to address the strangely - and unnecessarily - tense atmosphere, and instead actively stirred the pot with bizarre remarks from Tina, Kandy and LaLa, and our first (but surely not last) instance of blatant producer favour.

Let’s get into it.

So episode 2 opens with the Porkchop girls being forced to *actually*, no gag, vote off one of their own people based just off of first impressions. Because...what we really needed in 2020/21 was for a group of marginalized people who had had their income and culture taken away for six months to, on first meeting nationwide-reaching colleagues who could become friends and found family, to be instead forced to create divisions between themselves. Really?

So the group votes out the kooky queen and the queen wearing the least feminine clothing, and then when it comes down to a re-vote on just those two...production makes all the queens vote again until a sacrifice is chosen. Seriously unpleasant stuff. Rosé, the queen who objects most virulently to this, is painted as haughty and self-important by the edit for...literally raising valid concerns and trying to stand up for the group. So I guess our hopes of the show moving on from having a vendetta against Jan and any of her friends are crushed just like that.

Then we cut over to the ‘winner’ group of queens. Production-influenced or not, they spend a LOT of the episode crowing and boasting about how brilliant they are, after all, they’ve all made the massive achievement of.... being voted by Ru to win a lipsync in the previous episode, including some VERY questionable performances.

The BIG TWIST that no-one could have seen coming is that... gasp, MAYBE the 7 eliminated queens weren’t actually eliminated on day one of a show that hasn’t had less than 9 competitors ever. And then the queen the losing girls voted out, Elliott with 2 Ts, is introduced to join the winning girls.

As I said in my previous review, it feels really bizarre in the same season that every second word out of Ru’s mouth is chicken soup for the soul about self-love and how actually they’re all winners, to actively go out of your way to split girls into two groups, one of Losers and one of Winners, in which the Winners get smoke blown up their ass about how they are better, and kind of reinforced by the show by focusing on them and only them in episode 2. Especially if they’re going to just proceed to do a split premiere group challenge LIKE THEY DID IN THE LAST SEASON without needing an arbitrary way to justify dividing the girls.

Anyway, the dolls have exactly the same mini and maxi as E1/2 of S12, which... I’m not sure how I feel about. Obviously everyone really enjoyed it in season 12, but a straight redo feels lazy.

Mini-challenge: present two runway looks with a loosely connected theme. Maxi: perform a RuMix with original verses to a new Ru song. Runway theme: a material.

So onto the mini first. All of the queens do broadly as well as each other, with - to my eye - Gottmik being head and shoulders above the group nailing both runways, Olivia Lux’s day look being the second best look on the runway, Tina Burner doing the most impressive bodywork out of the group on her night look, managing to compress her substantial body into a tiny vinyl-latex-esque miniskirt and tube top, and Symone being wildly overpraised for simply having a slim and fit physique that she decorated with material, a la Courtney Act from S6 or Naomi Smalls from S8. Brace yourselves, because this won’t be the first time.

The maxi challenge is a hot mess. The song isn’t great, and the queens take wildly varying approaches in terms of style, genre, and tempo. If you thought Roxxxy Andrews’ random singing on Read U Wrote U was out-of-place... for Condragulations (providing an episode title drop) by my count, three queens give us a rap, two queens sing, one queen gives us spoken word and one queen (Gottmik) gives us literally two bars as an intro.

And onn that note, there’s a bizarre production moment during the rehearsals for the performance in which a moment in which Gottmik experiences gender dysphoria, for including his gender identity in his verse - “I was born a girl” (which, in itself... is that really how a trans person would self-describe rather than e.g. AFAB? I kind of feel like I don’t know how I feel about that line going out to a straight audience) - is represented as Gottmik not having any idea that the other queens would hear his verse. In a group challenge. Where the challenge is to each perform a verse of the same song, as a group, in front of each other. Ok Henny.

The choreography is not great in the challenge, with the best performance of the group going imo to the underrated Elliott, who is, of course, a dancer. Despite the fact that Tina Burner, having lipsynced against her in E1, was well aware of this, Elliott was shut out of the choreography discussion by the other girls - who throughout the episode gave Elliott the cold shoulder & even, bizarrely accused her of being a spy! - for who, QAnon?? Elliott, not wanting to rock the boat, kept quiet, only to go on to NAIL her own performance with a jump split and impressive, confident verse, with dance elements throughout.

So naturally she wasn’t put in the top 2 for the episode, despite everything in the storyline pointing to the ONLY REASON you would separate the queens into winners and losers and then bring back a loser would be for a redemption (RuDemption?) arc. Nope!

The top 2 queens are of course...Olivia Lux, who to be fair, performed her socks off in the challenge and wisely wore an outfit that accentuated her movement, and...Symone. Again. Who wore this.

Whose verse consisted of a walk to the center of the stage and pretty poor lyrics and vocal (”the ebony enchantress...is me” is giving Mariah in all the worst ways). Who looked a little manic during the performance. But who - like Ru - is tall, slim, and statuesque. Anyone else getting S2/S3 flashbacks?

Off the bat let’s make something clear. I don’t dislike Symone. I think she’s a fierce queen, I think she definitely won the top 2 lipsync, I think she’s an excellent lipsync performer, and she has a great body and a great swagger as a drag queen. And I know she can do flips and acrobatics if it calls for it - look for yourself on youtube.

But I think favoritism drags the show down, and ESPECIALLY - as we saw in S12, too - when applied to queens like Symone who are ALREADY among the strongest of the group. Let’s face it, on skill alone, Symone is likely to pick up at least 3 wins of the 11 weeks of this contest. So why stack the deck by giving her an early 4th?

Olivia Lux, the other top 2 queen, performed decently in the lipsync, but was perhaps a bit literal with the lyrics. Her runway gown was highly praised by the judges, but for me was on the simpler side, although she definitely sold it with her walk and attitude. All other queens were given an equal Safe this week which... may or may not have been used to shield the worst performers overall this week, Gottmik and Kandy, who were unsure of themselves during the performance and made a few slips.

I’m ending this week as I ended the last one - wary, but hopeful. After such a focus on how entitled and unpleasant the Winners were in this episode, perhaps the next episode will cast the Losers in a more sympathetic light. My favorite and second-favorite queen, Tamisha, and Denali, are in that group, and I’m hoping to get good confessionals and meme-worthy moments from them if nothing else. And also, I’d hope that this team have bonded and will give a better performance as a group as a result. Although the threat to eliminate one of them next week given by Ru at the end of this one seems like insult to injury in terms of creating division.

Was S12 a fluke? Will S13 be another S11? Will I start genuinely liking any of this? Be here next week to find out~ xoxo

#romansrace #rpdr13 #shady reviews #rupauls drag race season 13 #rupauls drag race #drag race reviews #gottmik #olivia lux #elliott puckett #elliott with 2 ts #sassy reviews #2021 #rpdr 13

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rhinozilla · 3 years

Note

🖊 How did you come up with the personalities of the canon 07 characters?

Hoo boy! This got long XD

I was mostly inspired by the squad on Brooklyn Nine Nine and the vibe of these distinct personalities all gelling together into a cohesive team.

Most directly, I drew a lot of inspiration for Person from Rosa Diaz. I also wanted Connor to have a buddy dynamic with one of the human officers that wasn’t Hank or Gavin, and my fic “Protect and Serve” was an exercise in figuring out who that would be. And Person won XD She was the first one that I really latched onto and developed into a realized character. I also really wanted her to have an eldritch energy about her, just to take her a tiny step beyond the suspension of disbelief. So she is freakishly strong and has a tendency of appearing and disappearing at will in certain situations.

For Tina, I started with the general vibe that the fandom had landed on for her character, and I built from there. She’s the chaotic one, to match Gavin’s gremlin personality. So there’s some Gina Linetti energy there.

Ben is a mix of some Terry Jeffords and Charles Boyle. He’s the Team Uncle, and I wanted him, as a senior officer, to be softer and more emotionally healthy as a foil to Hank’s more sweary, angry, depressed vibe. Mostly I wanted him to be the one that everybody just gets along with and likes to be around. He’s a safe guy who isn’t put off by any of the weirdness that the others bring to the table. He’s also a giant nerd.

Wilson was a lot of fun to develop. He has some Terry energy as well, being a family man who feels protective over his teammates. I knew I wanted him to be married to a very successful woman, and she would be the ‘breadwinner.’ I also knew that I wanted him to be the most attuned to androids’ immediate needs, like shelter, clothing, money, stability, and a feeling of security. While others had loftier and noble goals like androids being allowed to open bank accounts and own property and get married, he is aiming more for in-the-moment needs. Like, “how can I make sure that these androids are going to be alive and healthy and mentally stable by the time they get those rights?” That kind of came hand in hand with Polly being very close to the whole Wilson family. I wanted Wilson to be just a good man, one of those unsung hero types that restore your faith in humanity.

Chris had something of a characterization in canon, so I didn’t really embellish much beyond that. He’s a family man, loves his wife and his son, and is always willing to help out wherever he’s needed. He’s arguably one of the only ones on the squad who is just cool. He doesn’t make a lot of waves, and he is amused by the shenanigans that his coworkers get up to. He also finds Connor and the staff androids’ occasional awkwardness very charming.

It was kinda hard to find Gavin’s voice in Detroit 07, because I had both his canon character and the variety of fanon characterizations that are very prevalent in the fandom. I didn’t want to just copy/paste his personality, so I took where he was left in canon and tried to find my own voice for him beyond the two-dimensional asshole. I went with that attitude being rooted in insecurity and fear that androids would eventually take his job. If an android replaces human janitors, housekeepers, construction workers, etc, then that was no real skin off his nose, but now there was an android detective? He harbored resentment toward Connor for not “earning” his rank and basically coming out of the factory with the training and education simply downloaded into his brain without him having to do the work of learning any of it. Sometimes Gavin still feels that way, but now, some years after the revolution and after working with and around more deviants, he has learned that it isn’t that black and white. Androids didn’t come out of the factory with any experience or referential framework for dealing with their own new emotions. They were never given the tools or the means to develop the tools to handle that, and seeing Connor and others struggle with that softened Gavin toward them considerably.

I also wanted to avoid the tropes around Gavin’s fanon characterization that he has a lot of damage and baggage and trauma that makes him the way that he is, or that he’s this disaster human. I felt like if I did that, I’d just be replicating what others have already done, and I wanted to go in a different direction. That’s where Hannah came in, because I wanted Gavin to have a healthy relationship with someone that wasn’t in the squad, to keep him a little more grounded.

Fowler also had some characterization in canon, and I rolled that up with some Captain Holt. Fowler is more abrasive and quick to anger than Holt, but I wanted to soften him just a little and make him more approachable. He’s a good captain who cares fiercely for his squad, but that doesn’t mean that he necessarily wants to be friends with any of them.

With all of them, it was mostly drawing inspiration from B99, then planting more seeds of individuality and seeing which ones took root. Like Ben being a Star Trek nerd and Fowler being a stress baker, etc. I really like developing characters and worldbuilding, so it has been fun to create Detroit 07 in my own little sandbox XD

#detroit 07

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glam-apollo · 4 years

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Title: Mr. Yellow Dies

Fandom: Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency

Summary: When Jane Oliver approaches Dirk Gently's Holistic Agency about a murder she thinks might have happened years ago without any clues, evidence, or even a victim, the agency quickly agrees to take the case. Dirk, Farah, and Todd find themselves at the Oliver family's Halloween party while investigating and have to participate in the family's Halloween tradition: the murder mystery party game. Will solving this fictional murder help them uncover anything about the real crime they're investigating, or is just a distraction from the actual case? And who died, anyways?

Written for the Halloween @dghdabigbang! @browneyes-asiandragon made some lovely artwork accompanying the story so please go check it out! It’s really amazing!

I’ve included the fic on here but you can also read it on ao3 if preferred.

Mr. Yellow Dies

Knock! Knock! Knockity-Knock!

There was a pause before the sound of footsteps could be heard coming from inside the house. The front door creaked open. The man opening the front door was tall, well-built, with dark hair that flopped nicely over his forehead. He smiled at the trio that stood on his doorstep but his eyes betrayed confusion. "Can I help you? You seem a bit old for trick or treating."

Todd Brotzman looked at the man standing next to him out of the corner of his eyes. What were the three of them doing there? They certainly were an odd trio--Holmes, Watson, and a Care Bear, all a good fifteen years too old to be ringing doorbells asking for candy. What was his plan? He'd been vague as ever on the way over, assuring Todd that it was a party, a party for the case, and everyone loved parties, now, didn't they? So come along!

The whole ordeal had started with a simple statement. “I’ve been invited to a party twice,” Dirk Gently announced to his friends proudly in their agency’s office. “And, as much as I’d like to think this shows I’ve come far in my social standing, I’m afraid there will be no possible way for me to attend this party twice at the same time.”

"Two invites?" Farah Black said. “You got two invites to the Olivers' Halloween party?”

“Indeed I did, Farah!” Dirk said.

Todd set down the files he had been sifting thru. “How’d you manage that?”

“My natural charms and talents, of course,” Dirk said, pretending to be offended. “Geez, Todd.”

"What’s the plan, then? I don’t want to sit around, waiting for a report of two party-crashers getting shot." Farah pursed her lip. “No offense.”

“None taken,” Todd said. “I’ll stay back.”

"Au, contraire!" Dirk said. "Farah will be accepting my invitation from Jane. I will be going with my invite from Lenny. And Todd will be going as my date."

"Right, okay," Farah shrugged.

"What?" Todd said.

That had been five days ago. Since then it had been a flurry of finding costumes, Dirk obsessively dragging Todd and Farah into any Halloween themed store he could find, arguing he hardly ever went to parties, much less costume parties, so they should indulge him. Todd secretly thought that it was very likely Dirk had a long streak of elaborate costume parties from his days back in England, but he held his tongue. Seeing Dirk delighted by styrofoam coffins and confused by slutty fireman costumes was worth keeping his own suspicions withheld.

In the end, Dirk had somehow managed to convince Todd that a Sherlock-Watson duo costume was a good idea. “You see,” he pointed out, “no one would suspect actual detectives to dress as detectives for Halloween! That would be absurd.” Todd agreed that, yes, it would be absurd. Dirk bought him a bowler hat anyways.

Farah had been quietly indecisive about her costume all month. Todd hadn’t been sure what she’d go as--she’d shown interest in a variety of things, from a champion scuba diver she said was a childhood hero to the main character of the action novels she’d been obsessively reading during downtime in the office. In the end, she ended up with a Care Bears onesie Tina had lent her after, from what Todd understood, a very long phone call about how stressful Halloween was and a subsequent long drive to Bergsberg on the 30th.

Back at the front door, Dirk smiled at the man questioning them. The man was quite handsome, with a square jaw and tough cheekbones. Almost too classically handsome, Todd thought to himself. But it worked with his costume--some variation on Dracula--which became apparent when he opened his mouth and showed off his tiny fangs.

"Max Oliver?" Dirk asked confidently.

"Yes," the man said, eyebrows raised, fangs revealed in the O his mouth formed. "And you are?"

"Dirk Gently," he said, pushing the front of his deerstalker cap out of his face. "I was invited by Lenny. This is my date, Todd, and this is the lovely Farah Black, who was invited by Jane."

"I've never seen any of you before in my life," Max admitted. "I didn't know guests could invite guests, either."

"It would be a bit awkward to send Todd home now, wouldn't it?" Dirk said pointedly.

"Dirk," Todd groaned.

"No, I mean, I didn't realize Lenny could invite guests," Max said, shaking his head. "Although, I suppose he's never really been one to follow our family's ideals."

"Is that so!" Dirk said, giving his friends a pointed look.

Max nodded. "It isn't my place, of course, but I consider him an outsider to our family." Max stared up and down at the three of them, as if to make a point that they were even more outsiders than Lenny. After a beat, he sighed and opened the door for them. "You might as well come in. I’ll at least give Mother the final call on you three."

Dirk smiled and gave his companions a thumbs up before walking into the house after Max. Todd and Farah followed, Todd already regretting his itchy costume, Farah already regretting her lack of weaponry.

Max led them into a lounge where five other people sat around in couches and chairs, chatting quietly to themselves. Todd only recognized one of them--Jane Oliver, their client. She was the reason they were here in the first place, the reason the case had been opened. She was small both in size and presence, the youngest of the three Oliver siblings, still in her teens. She was wearing a mostly plain, long red dress, which Todd assumed must be some sort of Princess--Princess Bride? Cinderella? Sleeping Beauty? He hadn't the slightest clue.

Jane was sitting next to an older woman, presumably her mother, the infamous Cordelia Oliver. Cordelia was the owner of the local community theater and a force to be reckoned with. She had lost some of her dazzle with the passing of her husband, Jules. Jules Oliver had been her partner in the theater, her partner in their home, her partner on the stage. Losing him meant she had lost love. Yet none of her fierceness faded; if anything, it grew into a strong and steady resentment towards the world and life itself.

Dirk smiled at two men sitting on the couch opposite Cordelia and Jane. "Lenny! Daniel!" he said. Daniel Oliver was the middle child of the family. College-aged and somewhat unmotivated, he was a stand out in his family of determined extroverts. His boyfriend, Lenny Anderson, seemed to represent everything the rest of the family couldn't stand about Daniel and worse. His lazy nature, lack of care for anything, inability to make and hold commitments annoyed the Olivers on the best of days. Lenny couldn’t keep a job, stay on a major, anything. At least he made Daniel happy.

Max flocked to a woman standing alone by the bookshelf. Adrianna Waye. She was the star in most of the local theater productions and Max's fiancé. She was gorgeous, elegant, and, by all accounts, extremely unpleasant to be around. Cordelia loved her.

Farah and Dirk had been doing most of the research on the family, while Todd had been going back and tracing old case files, trying to find a crime or a missing person or an unsolved murder that would otherwise connect with the case. He hadn't found anything, not anything they could confirm at least. Todd reflected on how this had all started. Jane Oliver had stumbled into the agency one day, clutching a yellowed composition notebook and trembling a bit, explaining that she had seen a crime, a murder, as a child. She had blacked it out and forgotten it until now, but going back through her diaries, she had found her recounting of the crime. It was dark, she explained, so she couldn't really tell them who or what. She thought it was a man--or maybe a boy. It was someone with a small build, and they were attacking another person brutally. She couldn't remember what happened after that, just terror, sheer terror.

They had a murder to solve. With no evidence of the murder having actually happened besides a child's diary. No suspects, no victims, nothing. Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency gladly took the case.

The crime had taken place in the backyard of this family property, Halloween ten years ago, when Jane was only six. At least, she said, according to her diary. Her memories of that Halloween were all jumbled--something about her family, lots of yelling, some sort of dispute. And the crime, the attack that she could only remember that she forgot.

"Max?" Cordelia asked. "Who are our other new guests?"

"I don't know, Mother," Max answered evenly. "Why don't you ask Lenny? Or Jane?"

Cordelia narrowed her eyes and focused her gaze on Lenny. "Leonard?"

"Geezy, m'am," Lenny sighed. "I invited Dirk here as a plus one."

"You're already a plus one!" she shrieked. "And what about these other two?"

"Todd is my plus-one!" Dirk chirped.

"A plus one can't invite another plus one who invites his own plus one!"

"Ah," Dirk said quickly, "but wouldn't me having invited my own plus one make us our own set of guests?"

"Daniel, do you know these men?" Cordelia demanded.

"A bit," Daniel said without looking up from his phone.

"And what about this woman? Who the hell is she?"

"Ah," Jane said softly. "Mother, I invited her." After Dirk had determined who was accepting what invitation, they had reached out to Jane to tell her about Farah, not wanting there to be any mix up. They had decided on a brief backstory and that was that.

"Who is she?" Cordelia demanded.

"She's a school tutor. She tutors me and some of my friends in the library," Jane answered evenly. Todd wondered if they should at all be concerned about what ease and grace their client was able to lie through their teeth. But really, he thought, that was what they were all doing. They had no reason to be at that party.

Cordelia Oliver knew that.

She was a queen surveying her kingdom, and she was not pleased with what she saw. Todd felt himself holding his breath, ready to be kicked out at any second. To his surprise, she sighed, deciding this battle was not worth fighting today. "Fine," she said. "You can stay. You're lucky the party kit I bought comes with extra characters."

"Party Kit?" Todd said, feeling any ounce of relief of not being kicked out dissipate.

The Olivers had a tradition, a tradition that went back for at least the last eight years, maybe more. They would every Halloween have a murder mystery themed party. They would purchase a "party kit," either from an online retailer, or, some years when they felt particularly excited, commissioned from a friend. The kit would give each guest at the party a character and a few clues. In the course of three rounds they would develop their characters, discover and investigate a "murder," and have the murderer finally revealed in the third and final round. It was truly perfect for a family of actors, though as the kids grew up and her husband passed away, it was something Cordelia clung onto more than anyone else. The schitick was getting old. But she wouldn't let go.

Cordelia started passing out envelopes with character names on them. "You all know how the game goes," she said, a stage voice taking over, complete with pause for dramatic effect. "Tonight, one of us will die. Tonight, one of us will kill. Tonight, we will all solve a murder." Jane looked white as a sheet hearing her mother's words and looked to Dirk. Dirk smiled back at her reassuredly.

"We have a few extra guests tonight," Cordelia continued, handing an envelope to Adrianna and another one to Max. "Let us hope they survive the night."

"God, Mother," Daniel said, continuing to focus on Candy Crush rather than the manila envelope he'd been slipped. "There's no need to be so melodramatic."

Cordelia paused and looked at him with stony eyes. "Tonight," she said, "we are all actors. Whether we like it or not." Lenny smiled at his boyfriend encouragingly, reminding him it wouldn't be too bad. Daniel glared back at him. He knew this tradition far too well and was not pleased to put on a performance for his mother’s sake.

"Great!" Dirk said, happily accepting his envelope. "So, how does the game work exactly?"

"There are three rounds," Max said, walking away from the wall to behind the sofa his mother sat at. "Round one, we all open our envelope and look at our character and the clues we are given. We mingle as the characters, deciding whether or not we want to share our clues with the others."

"Round two!" Cordelia jut in. "Someone will have instructions telling them they will 'die.' After their 'death' occurs we will have another round in which to mingle and see if we can discover which of us might've had the motive to 'kill.'"

"I feel as though we've grown out of this, mother," Daniel said. "It's just glorified Mafia. When will you give it up already?"

"I find it very fun, Daniel," Cordelia snapped. "It's the least you could do for your poor mother."

Daniel sighed.

"And what about the third round?" Farah asked lightly.

"Third round, we open this envelope," Cordelia said, holding up an envelope that. Unlike the manila ones she had handed out, was a deep red. "It has the answers in it. Then we will find out who was right and who was wrong and who was the killer."

"What a dreadful and yet surprisingly delightful game!" Dirk enthused. Cordelia narrowed her eyes at him.

"Quite," she said. "Now, let the games begin."

Everyone began opening their envelopes. Todd ripped the top off of his, wondering how this was in any way going to help them solve the case. Had Dirk known they were going to play this game? He gave Farah a look, who seemed just as lost as him. She shrugged and went back to reviewing the papers from in her envelope.

Todd reviewed his envelope. He was playing as a character called “Mr. Red,” an older gentleman who was a banker. The only clues he was given was that he suspected Mr. Yellow, one of his bank’s employees, of fraud, and that his character saw Madame Orange and Mrs. Indigo discussing something in hushed voices on his way home from work one day. Todd grimaced. They were really about to play live-action Clue.

"Todd." Todd jumped up in surprise as Dirk slipped up next to him. "You know I'm not one for a classical approach," Dirk said, keeping his voice hushed, "but I must admit this situation compels oneself to do some very non-holistic detecting."

"Wouldn't the fact that the situation has arisen at all make it holistic?" Todd pointed out.

"Ah! Great assisting, Todd, or should I say," Dirk looked down at Todd's papers and then back up at him with a pleasant smile, "Mr. Red."

"You're excited for this, aren't you?"

"Quite! But seriously, Todd. Please consider trying to use this as an opportunity to ask key questions that seem like they're about the game but are actually about our investigation."

"Dirk, we still barely have any idea of what we're investigating," Todd sighed.

"Having time set aside to mingle and interrogate should help then!" he replied before disappearing into the room.

"Let round one," announced Cordelia Oliver, "begin!"

Todd sighed, feeling out of his depth. He looked around the room, seeing that people had already begun to talk quietly and exchange clues amongst themselves. The one person left by themselves besides Todd at this point was Daniel Oliver.

Todd sat down next to him. "Sherlock abandoned you, ey, Watson?" Daniel asked, raising an eyebrow but looking otherwise completely disinterested in the appearance of a new person in his vicinity.

Todd laughed nervously. "Dirk? Ah. Well. He's playing the game, same as all of us." He swallowed. "So... what's your character?"

"Mr. Maroon," Daniel said with a slight roll of his eyes.

"I'm Mr. Red," Todd said.

"Practically the same names," Daniel complained. "I know there aren't that many colors in the rainbow, but they could've come up with a better theme. Colors? Mysteries? Incredibly overdone, if you ask me."

"You'd know better than myself," Todd said.

Daniel snorted. "I know far too well. Do you want my clues?"

"Sure," Todd said. "Are you just supposed to give them to people like that?"

"Not if you want the game to be harder," Daniel said. "But I'd rather this be done as quickly as possible. So my character doesn't trust Mr. Yellow or Mrs. Grey."

"I also suspect Mr. Yellow," Todd admitted.

"And it's supposed to be a mystery." Daniel shook his head.

"You've done a lot of these, then?" Todd said.

"Every year. Since what feels like forever. Mother has gotten persistently more annoying about it since Dad died." Daniel looked resentful. "She can't let go of it."

"That must be hard for your family," Todd said.

"Maybe for them," Daniel replied evenly. "I'm glad he's dead."

“Oh.” Todd said. "You don't feel like you're one of them, then?"

"No. I don't want to act. I don't want to be the center of attention. All of them are hardworking attention whores. I truly feel like this tradition is the pinnacle of that. It makes me feel sick."

Todd felt his stomach curl in an uncomfortable way. "You should be careful," he said.

Daniel rolled his eyes. "What, are you going to impart some wise-wisdom on me? I don't care. I don't even know you."

"You're right," Todd said, trying to ignore the feeling that he needed to get Daniel off of the track he was on, lest he fall into the same self-destructive hole of lies that Todd did when he was his age.

"I'm sure you think I'm ungrateful and selfish. But they're cruel to me. And they don't like Lenny either."

"No?"

"No. They hate him even more than me. If I'm a black sheep, he's an entirely different animal to them."

"Five more minutes of round one!" Cordelia shouted from across the room.

Todd stood up from the couch awkwardly. "I should talk to some more people," he said. "Nice to see you, Mr. Maroon."

Daniel rolled his eyes.

Todd wandered around the room, trying to find someone else to talk to, and eventually ended up tapping the shoulder of Adriana Waye, who had been standing by herself in the corner of the room. She flinched and then turned around, her bright green eyes first looking a bit surprised and then totally disengaged.

"I'm Ms. Grey," she said. "I'm Madame Orange’s maid, working for her and her daughter, Mrs. Indigo, and her son-in-law, Mr. Yellow. And you?"

"I'm Mr. Red," he replied. "Uh... I'm a banker."

"The bank owner?" she said quickly. "The man who owns the bank Mr. Yellow works at?"

"I think so," he said.

"Hmm," she said, and Todd got a very distinct feeling that she did not like him at all, although he could not tell if the impression came from her acting or real judgement she was imparting on him.

"I, uh... I think Mr. Yellow is committing bank fraud," Todd said lamely, looking at his notes.

"Would you kill him if he was?" she said, her blue eyes hard and intense.

"What?" Todd said, shrinking back.

"In the game,” she said, her gaze softening slightly. “Obviously.”

"Oh," Todd said. "Wouldn't it be strange for me to suspect myself? I mean, wouldn't that kind of defeat the point?" He paused. "And we don't know Mr. Yellow is going to be the one to die, yet!"

Adrianna looked across the room at Max. "Mr. Yellow is certainly going to be the one to die," she said. "You’ll see."

"How do you know?"

"It's the way these games always work," she said. "God, who invited you again? Have you really never done this before?" Todd shook his head and Adrianna looked exasperated. "Cordelia should've kicked you out."

Todd didn't have a good argument for that. He coughed nervously, feeling weirdly squeamish looking at her dark grey eyes. "So what are your clues?"

She looked absolutely done with him. "You cannot ask me for my clues as yourself. You need to discuss the situation with Ms. Grey as Mr. Red."

"I guess I misunderstood," he said. "You really enjoy the acting part of this, huh?"

"It's a good thing I do," she said. "I'm our theater's biggest star for a reason."

"Cordelia likes you a lot, then?"

Adrianna shrugged. "She likes me. And she loves Max. And Max loves me. It all works out."

"One minute left!" Cordelia shouted.

Adrianna looked irritated. "I really spent some of my time talking with you, huh?" she said, stalking off before Todd could answer.

Todd slouched, taking a deep breath, looking around the room before making eye contact with Farah and meeting her across the room. "I'm Dr. Violet," Farah explained. "I’m Madame Orange’s physician. And you?"

"Mr. Red," he said. "They seem like an awfully happy family, don't they?"

"Mr. Yellow and Mrs. Indigo? Or the Olivers?"

"The latter. Although the former might be true, too, I'm having a hard time keeping up."

She nodded. "Fictionally and factually miserable in both cases. I have a good feeling about our case, though."

"Yeah?"

"I was talking to Jane. She's sweet, you know? And I think we're very close to cracking the case."

"She didn't do it, though. Right?"

"Oh--no. No. But I think someone here did."

"That doesn't exactly make me feel incredibly comfortable being a party crasher here."

"That's the end of round one!" Cordelia shouted.

Dirk noticed Farah and Todd talking together and walked over to them enthusiastically. "Well!" he announced. "I'm not sure what I just learned, but I definitely learned something, which will definitely help solve one, if not two, cases! It's true one has a bit more importance to it, but I'd like to think that in solving our fictional case we'll solve--"

Dirk was cut off by a loud scream from across the room. Max Oliver let out another large cry, holding his hand to his chest, before having his knees buckle underneath him, falling down on his knees, letting out a final sob before collapsing on the floor.

"Oh my god," Farah said.

Cordelia walked over to where her son lay sprawled across the floor and then looked up across the others in the room. "A murder," she said. "Has been committed. Mr. Yellow is dead." Adrianna gave Todd a pointed looking from across the room, her hazel eyes piercing. Todd looked away.

"How ghastly," Dirk said with some enthusiasm. "What a wonderful performance."

Max sat up from his place on the floor and beamed. "Thank you," he said, fangs sticking out.

"Now, for round two," Cordelia announced. "Max will not be able to participate. You must talk amongst yourselves and try to discover which one of you is the killer. We will have ten minutes. Let round two... begin!"

"Alright," Todd said. "I suppose we should get back to mingling..." He looked over to see Dirk's eyebrows furrowed, deep in thought. "Dirk?"

"Todd," he said quietly. "Farah. I have the strangest feeling the case of Mr. Yellow is much more tied to our case than we'd thought."

"How so?" Farah asked.

"I'm not quite sure," he said. "Let us try and discover who killed Mr. Yellow. And perhaps that will reveal it to us."

The three nodded and scattered across the room.

Todd found himself in the unfortunate position of being under the immediate scrutiny of Cordelia Oliver.

"I," she announced, "am Madame Orange. I'm afraid we've never had the chance of meeting before."

"Mr. Red," he said shortly. "Banker, Mr. Yellow's boss, I think."

"Ah, yes," she said, face sorrow clouding his face. "My son-in-law’s employer. Isn’t it tragic what has happened to Mr. Yellow?"

Actors, Todd thought, are insane.

"Right," Todd said. "Erm, do you have any idea who... killed him?"

His willingness to play along seemed to please Cordelia. She raised an eyebrow playfully. "I have some idea," she said. "He had a few enemies. I heard," she leaned in, her voice taking on a conspiratorial tone, "he owed some people money. Would you know anything about that? As the banker?"

"Oh," Todd said, trying to remember if he did. "Uh, no. I don't think I knew that. Although I..." he paused, grabbing his notes and looking them over. "I suspected him of committing some sort of fraud."

"Hmm!" she said. "Fraud at the bank isn't a good look for you. Do you think that could stir yourself to kill?"

"Uh--no?" Todd frowned. "I guess I don't know. Am I supposed to defend myself?"

Cordelia seemed disappointed at his breaking character. "It's up to you," she said tightly. "But if you've killed someone, we'll find out in the end, when we open the envelope with the answers to the case."

"Oh," he said. "Well--I guess I don't think Mr. Red, er, me, did it." He paused a beat. "And... why didn't you do it?" he asked, knowing giving Cordelia an excuse to talk should lighten her up.

"Mr. Yellow was my daughter Indigo’s husband! I loved him as if he were my own son. I wouldn’t lay a hand on him unless he did something to hurt my daughter.”

"But what if he did?” Todd pointed out. He looked at his notes. “I saw you discussing something with Mrs. Indigo the day before his death. That doesn’t look particularly good for you, Madame Orange."

"You don't look unsuspicious yourself, Mr. Red. Although I don't think you killed Mr. Yellow."

"No?"

"No. You don't have it in you."

Cordelia turned on her heel and went away to talk to someone else, and Todd felt weirdly stung by her harsh assessment of his fictional banker self.

He wandered across the room, trying to find someone to talk to. He walked past Max and Adrianna who were talking in hushed tones in a language that didn't sound familiar to him. He decided not to interrupt them and turned around, nearly running into Jane Oliver.

"Oh dear," she said. "I am very sorry, Mr. Todd."

"It's okay!" he reassured her. "And tonight, I'm Mr. Red."

She nodded. "I'm Mrs. Indigo." She sighed. "I'm Mr. Yellow's wife, apparently. A bit awkward, I think, for several reasons."

Todd smiled. "Fair enough. I am--or was?--his employer at the bank. I suspected him of fraud. Would you know anything about that?"

"The only way Mr. Yellow was ever a fraud or a phoney was in real life, Mr. Red," she sighed, playing into her character lightly. "I do believe he was having the most awful affair with Mrs. Grey."

"I suppose that made your character--you, I mean--pretty upset."

"Yes." She sighed. "I think it's likely I did it. Or--Mr.s Grey’s husband, Mr. Maroon."

"It's kind of funny suspecting yourself."

"I think it makes the most sense," she said evenly, then in a lower voice, "thank you, by the way. Dirk said you and Farah have been invaluable in helping with..." She looked around. "...with a case."

Had he been helpful? Had any of them been helpful? Todd felt as though he was getting nowhere, stuck in a sludge of clues and names and characters and confusing bits in the middle. He wasn't sure he had done anything effective to help Jane Oliver. He thought about denying her claim, telling her to take it back, telling her that her impression wasn't true. But he swallowed it in his throat. Be nice, Todd.

"You're welcome," he said. "We're trying our best. To solve..." he paused, and added, feeling kind of silly, "...Mr. Yellow's murder." That made the girl laugh, which pleased him.

"Speaking of Dirk," Adrianna said, "here comes Mr. Green." Dirk approached the two of them, grinning brightly.

"Todd! Jane!" he addressed them both with enthusiasm. "I've got half a mind that this is going somewhere!"

"I sure hope so," Todd said.

"I'm glad you think that," Jane said with her shy smile. "I think I'm going to go try to talk to Adrianna." She made a face. "Tell me what you find, later?" she asked Dirk.

"Of course," he promised, waving at her as she made her way across the room. "Todd!" he turned to Todd, his deerstalker hat flopping in front of his eyes. He pushed up the rim. "I think I've found out my motive for killing Mr. Yellow!"

"That's great, Dirk, but.... what? Do you think your character killed him?"

"Oh, no," he said quickly. "I'm Mr. Green, by the way, if I hadn't mentioned it to you. And I don't think it's awfully likely I am the killer, but I love my brother Mr. Maroon a lot, and his wife Mrs. Grey cheated on him with her employer Mr. Yellow!" Dirk sounded enthralled. "The way this game is played is absolutely fascinating, wouldn't you say? I think we should definitely buy one of these for the office during holidays."

"Dirk," Todd said, "there are three of us who work in the office. And... Mona sometimes. I don't think that's enough people."

Dirk frowned. "I guess not."

"Do you have any idea who actually killed Mr. Yellow? Or... about the other thing?"

"No," Dirk admitted. "Well, maybe. There's so many different threads in this game. And it's not exactly... how I do detecting. I think you or Farah would have a better idea, quite honestly. I’ve had a very fun time getting into character and developing Mr. Green, though. I wasn't given much, so I gave him a new profession! I've decided he works for the secret--"

"Dirk," Todd cut him off. "We need to focus. Right?"

Dirk looked a bit put out. "Can't hurt to have a bit of fun, too."

Todd backtracked. "Sure, of course, but I think we're running out of time to investigate--"

"End of round three!" Cordelia announced loudly. The chattering continued. "End! Of round three!" she holler. This time, a hush fell across the room.

"Everyone," she said, her voice commanding the space, "let's gather round in a circle and discuss our theories of who killed Mr. Yellow." She stood behind where Max sat on the couch and put her hands on his shoulders protectively. The party goers made their way to the couches and chairs situated in a nice circle around the coffee table. Once everyone had settled down, Cordelia smiled, although she continued to stand behind Max instead of sitting in the circle herself.

"If someone can say who killed Mr. Yellow and why, with certain accuracy, they win the game." Cordelia held up a bright magenta envelope. "Once everyone has given their input, we'll open the envelope and see who was really the killer. If you are accused of being the murderer, you may defend yourself if you think someone else has done it. Now who would like to start?"

Todd felt Dirk beside him tense in excitement. He wondered if this did have any connection to the case they were here to solve, or if it was a red herring, a detour that would eventually lead them somewhere completely different in order to actually solve the case.

"I'll start," said Adrianna. "I think Mrs. Indigo did it."

Jane frowned. “My character? I guess I don’t think it’s entirely impossible I did…”

“You found out Mr. Yellow was hiding some things from you,” Adrianna said. “Including his affair… with me, Mrs. Grey. So you killed him.”

“Jane?” Cordelia asked. “Do you have someone else you think could’ve done it?”

“I think Mr. Maroon would’ve had half a motive, for the same reason as I.”

“Leave me out of it,” Daniel groaned. “I think it was… uh…” He looked around the room, seemingly trying to pick someone else to become the scrutiny of the conversation. “Madame Orange. She found out Yellow cheated on her daughter.” He shrugged. “She’d be as mad as anyone else.”

Cordelia pursed her lips. “That’s assuming I even knew about the affair. Perhaps I didn't even know until he died! How would you know?”

“Everyone wanted to kill Mr. Yellow,” Dirk muttered to Todd.

“Madame Orange was angry after her check up with Dr. Violet before the murder happened,” Farah pointed out. “Although she didn’t say why. It could’ve been about the affair.”

“Everyone wanted to kill Mr. Yellow!” Dirk said again, sounding surprised. Todd looked at him and he grinned back.

“I was upset because my gardener, Mr. Turquoise, had quit in a huff.”

“You fired me!” Lenny butted in. Todd realized he’d barely spoken to half of the people playing the game, feeling suddenly like he’d shown up for a test he hadn’t studied for. “And I certainly didn’t kill Mr. Yellow!”

“Alright,” said Cordelia. “But I deny that I did. I still find Mr. Maroon awfully suspicious.”

Daniel glowered at his mother. “If you won’t admit it, I’ll accuse someone else. Like….” He looked around the room. “...my brother. Mr. Green.”

Dirk smiled. “It could have been me,” he said. “I love my brother, Mr. Maroon. I found out Mr. Yellow was having an affair with his wife. And I felt this was an affront to my family. But I think we are focused much too narrowly on the what and the why. In fact,” he said. “I think we are far too focused on this game.”

“Too focused on the game?” Lenny said. “Isn’t that the point of the final round?”

“The point of the final round,” Dirk said confidently, “is to find out who killed Mr. Yellow and Max Oliver.”

“Oh,” Todd said softly. Dirk had solved it.

“I am Mr. Yellow,” Max said.

"Exactly! So the question we have to answer," Dirk continued, "is who killed Max Oliver. I, of course, have my own theories, but I would like to share last. Mrs. Cordelia. I still find you a bit suspect. Why don't you tell us again why you aren't the killer?"

Cordelia stiffened in offense. "Why am I not the killer? You must be kidding me! I just went over this. I wouldn’t hurt my own son!"

"Ah, but perhaps Max wasn't the child you wanted. And neither was Daniel. And neither was Jane. You wanted a child who was a star, Mrs. Oliver. And you knew you'd never get that if you didn't intervene yourself."

Adrianna narrowed her eyes. "He knows this is a game, right? We aren’t our characters."

Dirk's eyes lit up. "Ah! And Adrianna Waye. What an interesting piece of this puzzle you are."

Adrianna shifted uncomfortably. "Don’t even bother accusing me of killing him. I was the one who was having an affair with him. I was one of his only allies. It wouldn’t make sense."

"No, you're right," Dirk agreed. "It wouldn’t make sense. Besides that, a lady such as yourself seems unlikely to get her hands dirty with murder." He paused. "She'd make someone else do it."

Adrianna turned to Max and laughed. "What is he talking about? This isn't connected to the game at all."

"You know what it's about--"

"Ah!" Farah cut in. "I have a theory. Did Lenny's character actually do it? Mr. Turquoise was Madame Orange’s gardener, so maybe he saw something at the house, like the affair. Blackmail gone wrong type situation."

Dirk nodded. "Lenny seems a bit suspicious, doesn't he?" He looped around the living room, ending behind Lenny's chair. "Lenny, what do you have to say to that?"

"I don't know,” Lenny said. “I don't think my character ever actually interacted Max, though, did he?"

"Exactly," Dirk said. "Lenny is too much of an outsider. He might not like Max, but there was no reason he would want to kill him. He wasn't even present at the crime scene. Now, Daniel, however..."

"Wouldn't it be my luck to pick the character who's the killer three years in a row?" Daniel sulked, shooting his mother a look.

"Of course Daniel could have been jealous of Max. Jealous of how his mother adored him and doted on him. But... that doesn't explain why he would kill him." Dirk turned to Jane. "Do you understand what I'm getting at, Miss Jane?"

Jane's eyes widened. "But I still don't understand! Who--who did I see die on that night?"

“Who did you see die on what night?” Cordelia turned to her daughter, her eyes narrowed. “Jane, is there something you’re not telling me?”

“Sorry, mother,” Jane whispered softly. “But yes. Ten years ago, I saw a murder.” Dirk gave Farah a small nod and Farah quietly moved to block the one door that led out of the study. Todd moved towards the window, having a strong feeling that any possible exit was soon going to quickly need to be blocked. Jane continued, “These people have been trying to help me solve the murder, mother. But… But I don’t know who did it, or who even died…” She trailed off, looking small and lost in her big velvet chair.

“You’re detectives?” Cordelia demanded.

"Indeed,” Dirk said. “Quite a good disguise, right? Now, Jane, the person you saw being murdered on that night was your brother, Max."

"But that's absurd!" Cordelia burst out. "Max is right here!" Max stood behind his mother, his expression stony.

"That," Dirk pointed to Max, "is certainly someone going by the name Max and living his life as if he were Max Oliver. But that is not your biological son, Max Oliver. He was killed on this day, ten years ago, in your back garden."

"Don't be absurd," Max cut in, his voice cold and stiff. "You've been talking nonsense all night."

"Have you ever," Dirk said, "met an actor who was so incredible that sometimes you didn't even know they were acting?" Todd got the very distinct feeling Dirk was thinking of Mona. "I have. And I will tell you this much. When someone who is talented enough chooses to not be found, they won't be."

"You're crazy," Max said. "You have no proof."

"Alright," Dirk said. "Maybe I'm wrong. Then answer me this. How come you and Adrianna talk in a language no one has ever heard when you think you're alone?"

"What?"

“Oh!” Todd cut in. "And is that why Adrianna’s eye color shifts so dramatically? I wasn’t imagining that?"

"People's eye color can shift--"

"Not from light blue to deep brown they can't,” Dirk said, nodding at Todd.

Max snorted. "Just because you're dressed as a detective doesn't mean you can say whatever you'd like and expect it to go over."

"Alright," Dirk said. "Let me read from this journal," Dirk said, reaching into his trenchcoat and pulling out a copy of Jane's diary that they had photocopied and brought along. Todd hadn't realized Dirk’s intentions in bringing the copy along--but he wasn’t sure Dirk had known until this exact moment, either.

"’October 31st, 2008,’" Dirk read aloud. "’Dear Diary, Today I saw something very frightening. It was during the Halloween party, I went out in the back garden to get a bit of fresh air and because everyone was very loud. When I was out there, I thought I heard someone screaming. I thought maybe it was one of my brothers, and so I ran. I saw a figure in the dark standing over someone else, but when I got to where I saw their silhouettes across the garden, they were gone. I saw something I thought could've been blood or beer or water but it was too dark to see. I'll go and see if it's still there tomorrow. I don't know what I saw. I went inside and told mama and papa about it. Papa joked that I'd seen a ghost on Halloween. I don't know. Love, Jane.’"

"I know who Jane saw that night," said Dirk. He pointed at Max. "She saw you. And she saw her brother, Max."

"I am her brother Max," Max replied evenly.

"Oh please," Dirk said. "Will you give that up already? You may live as Maxwell Oliver but you were at least not born that way. You weren't born in this town, or, quite frankly, even this planet."

"What're you going to do about it?" Adrianna said, rising to her feet.

"Adrianna," Max snapped. "Sit down."

"I'm going to..." Dirk said confidently, and then stopped. "Well, I hadn't really thought of that."

“It’s true,” Jane said softly. Cordelia had stepped away from Max and was now standing behind her daughter. She placed a hand on Jane’s shoulder, looking tense. Jane looked up at Cordelia. “It’s true, mother. It was Max I saw on that night. It must’ve been…”

Max frowned. “Are you really going to believe this, Mother? Believe all this slander about your favorite son?” His eyes narrowed. “I’ve been so good to you… an absolute star, in fact. Don’t tell me you believe some sort of alien-murder plot thought up by a stranger over the word of your own son?”

Cordelia Oliver's eyes clouded over. "I'm not sure, Max."

"I cannot believe this," Max said. Adrianna fidgeted in her chair uncomfortably. "Do you know everything I've given for this family? Everything me and Adrianna have given for you, Mother?"

"What are you?" Dirk asked curiously. "You must be something quite interesting. And..." He paused, his nose bunched up. "...and either undetectable or fifteen years new to this planet."

"We were undetectable," Adrianna said.

"Adrianna!" Max barked. "Will you shut up?"

"Oh, give it up, Max," she said irritably. "He's caught us in our game. Might as well admit it." She turned to Dirk. "You wouldn't really believe it if we were from a different planet."

"I certainly would," he said. "I've come across a fair few extraterrestrials in my time. I don't suppose you communicate through music on your planet?"

"What?" she snapped. "No. Don't be stupid. You were right, we communicate in our own language. And these weren't our original forms." Max glared at her, his lips pursed in determined silence. "But there's no way for you to prove that, you know? That's the best thing about what we are."

"Oh god," Cordelia said, holding her hand over her mouth.

"And what is that?" Dirk asked.

"Can't pronounce it in your language. In fact, you numbskulls hardly have the language to describe it. Leech? Reincarnate? Phoenix?" Adrianna seemed almost pleased by this, as if the fact that she was somewhat undefinable was a final act of rebellion against whatever separated her from them. "The point is," she said, "we take on different forms over our lives. We essentially could live forever--as long as we kill before our vessel dies. When that happens, we take on the form of whatever we last killed."

"Woah," Dirk said.

"What happens to the body?" Farah said, eyeing Max and Adrianna nervously while still guarding the door.

"We become the body," Adrianna said as though it were obvious. "The last vessel we occupied turns to dust once we leave it for good, once there's no use for it anymore."

"And you killed Max and took his body," Jane said softly, looking Max straight in the eyes. Max frowned and looked away.

"What--what now?" Daniel asked nervously, looking between Max and Adrianna. The room was filled with a tense air.

Max sighed, breaking the silence. "This is truly awful," he said, his tone almost bored, "I never wanted it to come to this, and I am very sorry. I did love you, Mother," he said to Cordelia. "Unfortunately..." He reached into his coat pocket, pulling something small and metallic out, "...the two of us will have to kill all of you now that you've discovered our secret."

Max Oliver had a gun. The room broke out into hectic noise. Cordelia screamed, Daniel let out a large stream of profanities, Todd started to argue with Max, and Dirk shouted something about everyone needing to talk this out, please, and not have so much killing all the time. Everyone was on their feet in a few seconds. Todd and Farah exchanged a look, guarding the door and window respectively, not sure if they should run or stand their guard. The only person who remained sitting was Max Oliver.

"No one move!" he barked. "Shut up!" And he was pointing the gun, and the room quickly fell silent. "You see," he said. "You all have made this so hard for me and my dear EtTew0si." He stood up from where he sat and went to the bookshelf, grabbing a candlestick. He handed it to Adrianna who smiled at him and kissed his cheek.

"Now who's first?" Max said, sounding almost bored. Todd gave a sideways glance to Farah and mouthed the word "gun." She shook her head, mouthing back a long sentence. He had forgotten he couldn't read lips.

"Oh Jane," Max said. "Why not you? This whole dilemma is your fault, now, isn't it?"

"It's not my fault," Jane said, trembling but holding her voice steady. "None of this would've happened if you hadn't hurt Max."

Max pursed his lips, ignoring her comment. "Come here, and we'll make this quick and painless," he said.

"No," she said, holding her ground.

Adrianna shoved her forward from behind, pushing her with the end of the candlestick. "Do what he says!" she said.

Jane opened her mouth to make a retort but decided against it. She looked back at the other people in the room, staring hopelessly.

"My dear sister," Max said, pointing the gun at her head. Adrianna stayed behind her, holding the candlestick up. "I am sorry it had to come to this."

"No, you're not," she said, tears forming in her eyes.

"You're right," he laughed. "I'm not."

The next few seconds were a whirlwind. Farah leapt up from her place by the door to in front of Max, grabbing Jane out of the line of fire as Max pulled the trigger. Adrianna, not realizing what had happened before it was too late, didn't dodge and instead was hit squarely in the head with the bullet Max had fired. Adrianna barely had a second to let out a cry of pain before her body turned to dust, drifting down to the floor, lifeless. Max whirled around, still holding his gun, pointing it at Farah and Jane where they sat on the floor.

"You think you're real smart, huh?" he demanded. "What--"

A bang fired in the room.

Max stopped talking.

Max stopped breathing.

Max fell over onto the floor, fading into a pile of dust.

Across the room, Cordelia Oliver held up her pearl handled pocket purse pistol, smoke still drifting off the tip of the weapon, tears streaking her face.

The next week, Jane Oliver visited Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective agency. She knocked lightly before walking into the office. "Hello!" she said.

"Jane Oliver!" Dirk said, his entire face lighting up. He jumped up from his desk. "How are you doing?"

She smiled sadly. "This whole ordeal has been a lot for my family... but I think we are better for it. We've all been trying to understand, of course. But it's brought us closer too."

"I'm glad to hear that," Farah smiled, looking up from her desk. "Thank you for visiting, Jane."

Jane nodded. "I’m to give you these." She passed two envelopes to Dirk.

He looked at her, confused. "What?"

"For the case," she said softly.

"Ms. Jane, I was under the distinct impression that we were not taking payment from you," he said. He passed the envelopes back to her. "In fact, I insist on it. I don't want to take money from you."

She laughed. "It's not from me. It's from my mother. She's going through a lot, as we all are, but she's extremely grateful to you guys." She shrugged. "She didn't actually tell me what was in those. Just to deliver it to you three."

"Well, thank you," Dirk said, surprised, taking the envelopes back from her.

"Yes!" she said. "And thank you guys... for everything. The truth is hard, but I'm glad I know it. And..." she turned to Farah, "thank you for saving my life."

Farah smiled awkwardly. "I mean, yes. Of course. That is... yes. You're welcome."

She beamed at them. "I'll be sure to recommend you guys, although I don't know how many other sixteen year olds have use of a detective agency."

Dirk smiled. "Thank you Jane."

She nodded once more. "Goodbye!" They waved and wished her well and then she was on her way.

"I wonder what Cordelia sent," Todd said.

"Let us see!" Dirk said. “This first envelope is addressed to ‘Dirk Gently & Co.’ Fancy!” He tore the envelope open, pulling it out and looking it over. His eyes widened.

"What?" Farah said.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"I don't think we'll have to worry about agency finances for a while," Dirk said, eyes wide. He passed Farah the check from inside the card.

She raised her eyebrows. “Oh-kay!” she said. “Well. We should definitely send a thank you note.”

“She wrote a note, too,” Dirk said. He read aloud, “‘Dear Dirk and Company, I never did like Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. However, the three of you I found quite tolerable. To think I would’ve lived with and loved an imposter my whole life if not for your agency. Much thanks. Sincerely, Cordelia Oliver.’”

“I guess she’s got a heart under her mean exterior after all,” Todd said.

“‘P.S.,’” Dirk read. “‘I am assuming you will be quiet about the disappearance of my ‘son’ Max. I hope this check more than manages that.’”

“Oh,” Todd said, and Farah laughed.

“Well!” Dirk said, setting down the card. He smiled at his two friends. “I think that’s another case solved with arguable efficiency.”

“What’s the other envelope?” asked Todd.

“I don’t know…” Dirk looked at it. “She wrote something on the front... ‘I couldn’t be bothered to open this after what happened. but I thought one of you care want to know more than I. Sincerely, Cordelia.’”

“Oh!” Farah said. “It’s the envelope from the game--the one that has the killer in it.”

“I didn’t even realize we never revealed the fake killer,” Todd said.

“I did,” said Farah. “Open it?”

Dirk nodded, pushing a pencil thru the top, ungracefully breaking the seal. He popped the envelope open and looked inside before pulling out a tiny slip of paper.

“Oh God,” he said, sounding exasperated. “Of bloody course it had to be.”

Farah raised her eyebrows and he passed her the paper. She looked at it and frowned. “Crazy coincidence, that’s all.”

“Let me see that,” Todd grabbed the paper.

“Farah, nothing ever ends up being mere ‘coincidence’ with me,” Dirk said pointedly. “Ever.”

“Alright, that’s weird,” Todd said, tossing the paper back onto the desk in front of Dirk. The three of them started at the paper for a moment, saying nothing.

“I say we break early for lunch,” Farah broke the silence. “My treat.”

“Avoidance,” Todd said. “I like it.”

“Burgers?” Dirk chimed in. “I love it.”

The three of them stood up and cleared out of the office, turning off the lights and locking the doors to the office. In the now quiet office lay the small slip of tangerine paper on a desk. It read, in plain cursive, Madame Orange is the killer.

End

#dirk gently's holistic detective agency #case fic #dghda #dghda halloween mini bang 2020 #fanfiction #dirk gently fanfiction #my art

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