#to practice going ''well there's nothing objectively Wrong w this thing but i dont want to see it''

[dykeogenes]

idk how people live without blacklisting tags. i love it. feature that genuinely improved my life on this site a billion percent

[leedosbunnyboy]

Oh yasss so 1,28,32 a Lucas x male reader College au with frat boy, play boy, fuck boy Lucas who is STRAIGHT literally lives on the attention of pretty girls, has pretty girls in his DMs, he’s also the basketball captain, a vaper, six pack you know Lucas the casanova. But Lucas really has the hots for the male reader who is a dancer and is quite feminine and flexible 👁👄👁. This is kinda angst and smut since the male reader obviously doesn’t want to only be seem as an object and used for sex since he has feeling for Lucas but Lucas says “I’m straight!” But at the same time Lucas really wants to get in the male reader’s pants. The male reader almost gives in but I guess slaps Lucas then they do it anyway, really really hard. But after that the male reader completely avoids Lucas - @cherubsandswans

Ooo~ thank you so much for the request! I hope I did it justice.

Prompt game here

Warning(s): Smut, Semi-public sex, Unprotected sex (suit up boys), Creampie

Enemies to Lovers trope, College Au

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Calm down ladies. There's enough of me to go around."

*sigh* Once again, the very annoying voice of Lucas resonated in the hallways.

You've always hated Lucas. Why? You didnt quite know the answer yourself anymore. Hell, you remember having a huge crush on him way back in middle school, before he became the attention whore he is now.

"Hey, (M/n)!" You rolled your eyes in response and waited for the inevitable interaction.

"Make it quick Lucas. I have to get to dance class." Said male was still trying to catch his breath considering he had to run through the crowd of thristy girls fawning over him.

"Okay, well... I was wondering, would you like to go out-"

"I hope you're not trying to ask me out again?" You cut off the male in front of you.

"I mean, yeah I was." He sheepishly smiled.

You let out an exasperated sigh as you rubbed your temples.

"Look, Lucas, how many times do I have to tell you. I don't care that you 'like' me. You're obviously just some straight frat boy who only likes girls for their bodies and thinks that you can get into my pants for whatever hidden agenda you have. Now do me a favor and please leave me alone." You state and make your way to your class.

"Can I atleast watch you dance?" He begs with puppy dog eyes.

"What?!" You retort.

"Can I watch you dance? Please?" He again begs.

"Fine." You sigh and make your way to class. The handsome giant following behind.

Once you made your way inside the studio, you began your stretches and then plugged in your speaker.

"Just sit down and dont fuck with anything, okay?" You told him and he nodded.

Music began to overtake your body as you began to start the rountine. Routinely looking behind you to make sure Lucas didnt run off to mess with something.

You continued to freestyle as the rhythm in your body seeked an outlet to express itself.

You caught Lucas staring at you in the mirror and decided to give him a show. Slowly turning the choreo into a more sensual vibe, you began to move your hips in a suggestive way.

"And who allowed your ass to be this thicc?" Commented Lucas as his eyes continued to trail you like a starved wolf.

You chuckled as you continued to dance and grinded slowly on the floor. You finished the dance with a split, amazing the boy sitting a couple feet away from you.

You had just barely stood up when Lucas pinned you against the wall, his lips sloppily kissing up and down your neck.

"I want you to bend over for me." Lucas whispered in your ear.

"You want me to what?!" You yelled and then slapped Lucas across the face.

"Ow!" He exclaimed and rubbed his, now red, cheek.

"What did I do?" He asked.

"'What did I do' oh- so you're just gonna ignore the whole 'I want you to bend over for me' no, fuck you Lucas!" You yelled and began to make your way out of the studio.

"(M/n), wait! I'm sorry please let me explain!" Lucas said as he trailed after you, his voice loud as can be considering that everyone appeared to have gone home.

"Explain what Yukhei?! That you're some sex hungry motherfucker who decides to have his fun by playing with people's feeling? Why, just why can't you leave me the fuck alone?!" You screamed at him.

"Because..." He looked down at his shoes before regaining his confidence, "I love you so much it hurts!" He announced.

You stared blankly at Lucas, who could barely make eye contact with you.

"W-what?!" You stuttered.

"Ever since we've been kids, I've had the biggest crush on you. But I always thought that since you were a boy it was wrong. I've had these feelings for you hidden away for who knows how long all because of my own insecurities. But I dont care anymore! (M/n), I love you with everything in my heart." Lucas finished, struggling to catch his breath as if he had just ran a marathon.

You slowly began to clap, and Lucas looked at you, confused beyond all hell.

"Not gonna lie to you Xuxi... that was kinda hot." You state, to which Lucas responds with a cherry red blush.

"Follow me." You whisper and take Lucas's hand to drag him back to the practice room.

"What are we doing back he-?!" Before he could even finish his sentence, you cut him off by pinning him to the wall with a kiss.

He slowly began to trail up and down on your body, clutching onto any flesh he could. He then tapped on your thigh which you took as you signal to jump and wrap your legs around his waist.

Lucas laid you down on a, conveniently placed, training mat, before removing his and your clothing.

You laid back and admired his figure. His body was toned and it was obvious. From his shoulders to the abs, it was hard not to drool. And his chocolate brown skinned complimented it so beautifully.

"Can I put it in?" Lucas asked to which you eagerly nodded.

Lucas spit on his dick before slowly sliding it into your hole.

"God, you're so fucking tight!" Lucas moaned once he was fully sheathed inside of you.

"Y-you're really big Xuxi." You whimpered.

"Shh, sweetheart. Just wait and adjust." He comforted.

"You can move." You said and Lucas wasted no time and began to hammer into you.

Nothing but moans and slaps of skin could be heard as the room probably reeked on sex and sweat. (Good thing this was all after school.)

After a while, you began to feel the knot in your stomach begin to come undone. And considering how sloppy Lucas's thrusts were getting, you could assume that he was too.

"Lucas, I'm gonna cum!" You screamed.

"Me too, baby. I'm gonna fucking fill you up till bloat." Lucas growled.

His hips met your's as you both reached your climaxes. You spilling on your chest and Lucas inside of you.

"That was, fucking amazing." Lucas panted.

"Yeah... now get out." You said.

"Heh?" He questioned.

"I've still got to practice and you're gonna be a distraction, so go." You restated.

"I'll atleast get you some tissues." He said and pulled out and watched as his cum began to leak out of you.

You cleaned up and Lucas began to gather his things.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" He asked.

"Nope sorry. I have a competition tomorrow so I'm gonna be gone for a week." You tell him to which he responds with a groan.

"No fair! I finally confess and now you're leaving?!" Lucas whines.

You chuckle and place a kiss to his cheek.

"Calm down. I'll only be gone for a week. And when get back, we can do this again." You smile.

Lucas regains his happy demeanor and struts his way out.

Damn... all those years of hatred led up to you getting laid. Can't say you're complaining.

[helisol]

:)

again not a finished fic but very extensive notes, this one’s a chonker, 4k words

tl;dr: take it a ds9 but make it into high fantasy wizards. garashir, kiradax and quodo. we’ve got it all here folks.

SO BASICALLY 

I read a book about a young witch apprentice in a world where every magician has a ~special name~ based on an object/plant/animal they’re spiritually connected to.

then I watched ds9 and got introduced to the concept of cardassians being lizards.

the result- wizard lizard.

So Garak “The Lizard” is a mage that got exiled from his home country and ended up taking a pretty neat job in a rural area of a larger empire where being a wizard is Cool and Widely Accepted. 

his duties include keeping the villages around his tower safe, looking for young mages to turn into apprentices, and sometimes making clothes because he’s Still A Tailor.

however, because of his chronic “i no wanna work” disease, this lizard has not actually been looking around the villages near him for magically gifted children. shame on him. 

because through his negligence Julian Bashir, young village doctor, grew up without even knowing that he can do ~magic~

but he soon finds out when his town gets attacked by a Big Evil Magic Monster. The Lizard is taking his sweet time to come to their rescue and Julian can’t just sit by and watch innocent people get mauled by a Chimera or Giant Mantis.

So Julian does the heroic thing and jumps inbetween a wounded child and the monster in the exact second Garak shows up.

And he gets to watch as Julian unleashes some Magic for the first time.

Then Garak Kind Of Abducts Julian So He Can Teach Him Magic

Garak is contractually obligated and allowed to take on anyone who is capable of magic as an apprentice, and he finds Julian’s magic interesting enough to invoke that contract now. Not Julian himself though. Only his magic. for now.

Julian- for like, the first week- is NOT OKAY with being teleported into a tower fortress by a wizard he finds intimidating and scary, and he loudly protests when Garak actually starts to teach him magic spells.

However, this is Julian, and he *is* intrigued by the thought of being able to use magic For Doing Good.

So one night he admits defeat and slinks up to the tower and goes “Okay. Compromise. Teach me healing magic.”

To which Garak is like 👀 “Okay.”

They start having regular magic lessons mostly focused on healing, which Julian is just naturally good at. So they move on to other things. Which Julian is Not naturally good at.

And he becomes very frustrated.

Garak tries to assuage him and says that he doesn’t have to be accomplished in every single field and discipline- which is logically true- but Julian is having none of it since Garak is accomplished in every field.

In a fit of anger Julian unleashes emotional magic again and breaks some of Garak’s things. Books, vials, a desk, nothing super major. But Julian is still surprised and shocked at himself for causing trouble like this and he Runs Away. Straight up exits stage left.

And Garak, who just got flung against the wall by his little apprentice, just rushes to the window and looks as Julian runs away and he is. Disappointed.

Next we have Julian returning home and everyone is like "Doctor!!! You were gone for half a year???" And Julian is like "I thought I was only gone for a month at most-"

Yeah the joke is time flies when you’re having fun because Julian *did* have fun living with Garak. He doesn’t regret leaving though, after all Garak was probably furious after he wrecked his study he wasn’t.

So Julian says to himself "Hmph. I'll just stay home for a week. Garak will hardly notice I'm gone. And then I can make it up to him."

But Then He Stays For A Whole Month

He has to instruct a new doctor to take over the nearby villages, do some paperwork, help some sick people, practice some magic on his own- and at the end of the month He Doesn’t Want To Stay Any Longer.

He’s always been different from the other village people, and now he finally got a taste of what it’s like to have someone help you to achieve your potential and widen your horizon and he *doesn’t* want to give that up for a boring but busy country life.

So back to the tower it is. Julian arrives, the place is kind of messy, and when he finds Garak he is in his study. on the floor. a little drunk, definitely sad, and Very Surprised To See Him.

Here we get a scene where Garak tipsily tells Julian how much he’s grown to appreciate him, not just for his magic talent, but as a person- and that he’s missed him.

But The Next Morning Garak Does Not Remember

And he's just like "Oh Julian. Youre back. I'd almost forgotten about you."

For a second Julian wants to punch a wall because *Yesterday You Told Me You Missed Me*, but then he just Smiles. settles for what they have right now. and asks Garak to continue teaching him magic.

so they go on. and have. so many gay moments.

And then Garak gets told to attend some kind of magic council meeting/banquet.

Julian says something along the lines of "Oh well, guess I'll stay home. You know, protect the fort. Practice magic." but he's a little sad about it.

But garak just goes "Hmm No. I'm taking you with me"

"What-" "I'm introducing you as my apprentice to the magic council." "W h a t-" "Oh also you need pretty clothes for this so I'm gonna make you some. Since you’re a commoner with no actual taste." "W H A T-"

So garak makes a really nice suit for Julian and for himself they match and they go to the Cool Wizard Banquet.

At which Julian meets a lot of wizards and witches and he's like "Wow this is so exciting!" but he also realises he is a Total Country Bumpkin And Noob compared to these people and their apprentices.

He also hears that Apparently the Local Wizard of every region is supposed to do a 5-yearly sweep of the surrounding towns to check for kids that have magic potential and then send them to Magic School/take them in as their apprentice directly.

And Garak. Did not do that.

He was Lazy and Angery. Exile will do that to you.

Julian isn’t too happy when he learns about this and he walks out of the banquet hall into the garden- to where Garak follows him.

"So just because you were all bitchy about having to follow this country's rules about magic you let me grow up not knowing my full potential? How many of my childhood friends might be able to do magic if they tried?"

“I was in a really bad place back then."

"SO WHAT? Things are okay now because you found me? If you had been two minutes early during that attack you wouldnt even know I could use magic!"

"...but I *wasn’t* early!"

So Julian just throws up his hands in frustration and leaves to get away from Garak for a while.

The next day he mingles more with the other apprentices and they exchange Ideas and Skills and also Gossip about their teachers.

Some of the apprentices suggest that Julian could go to magic school for a while before applying for a *new* teacher, since obviously Garak did him wrong.

This doesn’t sound like a bad idea, so he talks with some older mages and most of them are friendly and are like “Oh yeah, sure, we’d love to take you in.”

But then it turns out a lot of people are talking behind his back about how much of an outlier he is.

(wizard culture is like 50% magic and 50% gossip)

So Julian is standing on a balcony and down below he hears a group of Douche Wizards discussing his inadequacies.

And it kinda makes Julian feel like absolute shit, so his powers go wobbly again. But then enter stage right: Garak

Who properly puts those wizards into their rightful place like "Say one more bad thing about my apprentice and I’ll blast your punk ass back to Romulus. You should KNOW the reason why I dont usually take apprentices, but here you are anyway saying he has no power. He has more power in his pinky than all of you combined."

Turns out there’s an extra layer to Why Garak didn’t do the "Check for Magicians in your Area" thing- it’s because he openly has no interest in training or working with anyone who isnt Special or Powerful.

Which means Julians happens to be. very special. and very powerful.

And hearing that from Garak makes him go 😳

His emotions are running high and he starts *floating*. Probably the worst thing to do on a first floor balcony out of All The Things To Do On A First Floor Balcony.

So he’s Floating and he doesnt know how to make that Stop.

He panics, starts falling and basically crashes right into Garaks arms.

"Oh great, youre right on time. We're leaving."

"What? But the banquet lasts for a week?" also I'm still a little mad but also a little in love with you?

But Garak has already teleported them back to the tower before he can really argue.

Anyway Julian is upset about many things overall, but mostly that he didnt get to dance. He practiced a lot in his off time.

Thank God Garak Knows This 

"...I know how to make magic music. Let’s have a little fun at least."

They dance and Julian starts floating *again*.

Garak 👀’s @ Julian floating "Okay I’ve been recording most of your emotion based powers. This is new."

Julian just Floats Higher out of embarrassment, so garak is like ‘well I'll just join him up there.’

So he does and Julian is like “WHY CAN YOU DO THAT. SHOW ME HOW TO DO THAT. HOW CAN I CONTROL THIS."

Turns out his emotions are too unclear, which makes his magic unbalanced, so really all they have to do is get him some Clarity.

Garak is like "Well one very easy way to do that is-" and then they kiss in the air. Floating. because I’m gay and I will use gay magic tropes as I see fit.

so that’s the garashir side of things, on to kiradax

There's Some Slow Burn In There

Basically Kira is a mage, but instead of using magic to fight she just Enchants Swords/Arrows/Other Weapons.

Because she fought in a wizard war and when there's not a lot of mana potions to go around you have to get creative.

She didn’t get a proper magician name because she was actually never anyone’s apprentice, but people still call her The Blade because she is just so cool.

Anyway in this universe mages age very slowly, and Kira is probably around 60 years old when she meets Jadzia. Which is not a lot in wizard years.

She does feels a little inadequate about being so Young and Inexperienced she didn’t really expect nor wanted to run into the legendary Jadzia Dax who everyone thinks is like 300 years old, maybe more.

So meeting someone who is her complete opposite just makes her go "Hmph. I dont wanna associate with you." 

But Jadzia keeps popping in randomly around her almost every day until Kira snaps like "WHAT is your problem???"

“I never learned how to enchant tools."

"What."

"Can you teach me?"

"The great Dax has never enchanted a single tool or weapon?"

"I took care of everything with other types of magic. Will you teach me?"

So Kira Nerys, The Blade, the person everyone looked down on because she uses enchanted tools instead of magic for everything- is being asked by this legendary mage to teach her something. What an honor. What an incredible thing.

But She Says No

So Jadzia keeps bothering her every day.

But eventually bothering her turned into "Hey wanna get some coffee? Wanna go to the library with me? Can I look at you while youre in the smithy? Do you wanna look at me while I come up with new magic formulas? Wanna get drunk together and maybe kiss but definitely have no recollection of it in the morning?"

- over a span of 10 years.

But at the end of those 10 years Jadzia still hasnt learned how to enchant tools.

And it takes One day at the magic banquet for Nerys to actually realise the Implications of that.

It’s the third banquet they've been to- together, as each other’s plus one.

They color coordinate their robes and wear matching accessoires. The works.

And Kira decides that now is the day to grill her Totally-Not-Girlfriend about the reason why she sticks around.

"You could have just gotten someone else to teach you how to enchant things."

"Why would I need anyone to teach me, I have you to enchant things *for me*."

"No but before I started doing it for you. Like the whole first five years of knowing me."

"Oh well I didn’t want anyone else because I was very much infatuated with you."

And Kira just bluescreens. Error 404 nerys.exe not found.

Until she catches herself.

"You...*were* infatuated with me?"

"Yes? You obviously never saw me that way though. So I stuck around for the good company and the coffee."

Now you see over the course of 10 years Kira’s irritation about Jadzia slowly turned into Something Else. But she thought Jadzia only saw her as a friend.

On the other hand Jadzia definitely had feelings from the start, but because kira was in Denial she didnt act on those feelings.

If I were a shitty writer or- god foirbid- *Straight*, I would have there be a miscommunication right about now and prolong their useless lesbian suffering.

But I’m not.

Basically Kira just goes 

"Okay but when you say *were* attracted to me does that mean you *stopped*?"

"Uh. No?"

"Cool. Excuse me, I need a moment."

So she tries to hide from this sudden revelation and her feelings in a hedge maze, but there’s no use hiding from Jadzia.

 Who, instead of just walking around the labyrinth to find her like a normal person, basically whacks down the bushes in a straight line until she reaches Kira.

"THERE YOU ARE! I used this completely unenchanted sword to get to you and tell you I definitely still like you. Now will you PLEASE teach me how to enchant tools as your first courting gift?"

And Kira is like "God yes you dumbass-" and they kiss.

now wizard quodo is funny because I kind of started this part as a joke but then it all got Serious

First of all Quark is Actually A Really Powerful Magician.

But what does he do with his great power?

Move from his home country to the city of wizards and open a bar.

Because he is still fundamentally *Quark*.

And Odo is still fundamentally Odo, because he is a Shapeshifting Alien From Actual Outer Space You Know.

He still went through the whole "I was studied by scientists (wizards) and couldnt let them know I was sentient for a long time which made me very grouchy and lonely" thing.

So Odo spends like ~100 years going from captivity/being an object of scientific study to living as a guard in the city of wizards.

Basically everyone thinks that Odo cant use magic- including Odo- because, well, he’s a bunch of slime that came from a meteor.

Then he meets Quark, powerful wizard and bartender.

And he has *no* idea who he is.

Only that he’s the guy who runs that one shady gambling bar and is involved in some illegal business.

And Quark is like "Ah finally. A worthy opponent."

So he and Quark have the same vibe as on DS9- where Quark keeps doing illegal stuff and Odo tries to stop him and the universe decides to say enemies to lovers 400k words slowburn.

And one day Quark gets into some Seriously shady business with some people who are now very aggressively demanding Quark give them their money back

and they're. you know. threatening violence.

Odo shows up and right before this one dude is about to straight up sucker punch Quark he's like "HALT!" and Wow He Made A Magic Happen.

Now. Because Quark is Indebted to Odo. He is expected to take him on as his magic apprentice.

At first he is Not Down For That. They both aren’t. So even though technically they are teacher and apprentice they both just refuse to work together.

Until Odo goes to check up on Quark one day- because as we all know he makes it a point to drop by his bar four times a day just to let him know he's thinking about him- and Quark is in trouble again.

Only this time Odo is like "I'm not gonna help him. I dont even know how I *could* help him. Since he hasn’t taught me any magic, the bastard."

So he wants to just pass by and leave when Quark basically starts to just Demolish these people with magic in a frightening and totally not impressive display.

MIND YOU Quark is still generally incompetent. If this was D&D he'd have like, very low skill points but unlimited spell slots.

Anyway Odo goes 👀

Because him being unable to use magic in a country/city where everyone he *knows* can use magic has always made him feel bad.

So he goes to Quark like "Okay. I changed my mind. Please teach me magic."

And Quark tries to teach Odo magic, earnestly. 

And Odo tries to learn magic from Quark, for real. 

But the key word here is *try*.

Because neither is very good at what theyre *trying* to do.

Odo didn’t Really want to learn from Quark and that's pretty much the reason why Quark doesnt Really want to teach Odo. But They Try.

There’s a lot of fights and arguments and "You’re not doing it right" vs "You’re not explaining it right"

But hey, at least Odo can now do some magic, which makes his guard job a lot easier.

He also gets to socialise more with other wizards and their apprentices, and he becomes a generally happier pile of humanoid goo!

Meanwhile Quark slowly but surely turns into a more Respected wizard. And his bar also becomes a bit more respectable as well.

it's almost like,,they both wanna be,,,,their best selves,,

and learning to work together has Somehow set them on the right path,,,

idk man sounds kinda gay,,,,

But then the banquet rolls around.

Quark is like "Oh fuck I Have to take Odo to this social function because hes my apprentice and thems are the rules."

and Odo is like "Oh fuck I Have to attend this social function with Quark because thems the rules."

The vibe they’re both getting is- "It's all fun and games when we're by ourselves but Somehow acting friendly in public feels Wrong." 

So they agree to Arrive together and then split up and spend as little time as possible together lest they fall victim to some kind of *feeling*.

And like all plans that Odo and Quark make it works out brilliantly for Exactly 5 Minutes.

Because while Quark is talking to his accomplished and very boring wizard acquaintances he kinda realises "God I wish Odo were here-"

And as Odo is talking to all these annoying ass apprentices he kinda realises "God I wish Quark was here-"

So that's what they do on the first day of the banquet. and the second. and the third. 

They just keep only seeing each other from the corner of their eyes but dont really get to talk/argue about anything and it's making them feel Not So Good, Actually

Now the fourth day is the kicker.

Because while Odo is talking to some people he gets tapped on the shoulder and there he is! The worst father on this side of the galaxy! Doctor Mora- but like, as a wizard scientist.

"Oh my god Odo? You’re here? How did you manage that? You can’t use magic dont be silly! *I* studied you and who would know you better than me? What? *you* know yourself better? Nonsense, now walk with me- how have you been :)?"

Obviously Odo is getting Very distressed but he can't exactly say No, so he walks around with Mora.

They sit down near a fountain and his ‘father’ just starts grilling Odo about what he's been up to.

And eventually they start talking about Quark

"Wait, *Quark*? The absolute magic failure who runs that disgusting establishment? That Quark?"

"Well I wouldnt put it like that, he’s not-"

But Mora goes on- "Oh no my dear boy that won't do! You have to learn from a *good* wizard. Like me! Dont you want that? Oh I'm sure you want that. That nasty good for nothing will resign as your teacher first thing tomorrow!"

And Odo is like "Now wait a minute, Quark might have his flaws, but-"

"There! See, you admitted it. He's flawed. He can't possibly be a good teacher for you. But I would be! I *raised* you."

But Odo is getting Rather Angy right about now.

"Well you did a pretty bad job raising me considering you didnt even know I could do magic until now."

"I can’t believe it. Quark is such a bad influence on you. You never used to talk back at me. This is what happens when you hang around with people who dont know you like I do."

Then something in him snaps and Odo just goes Off on Mora.

"MAYBE *YOU* DONT KNOW *HIM* LIKE I DO!"

And he basically breaks the fountain theyre sitting at with some accidental emotional magic.

So after Mora goes "...I better get someone to fix that-" and runs off, Odo is standing in front of this broken fountain and thinks about how this might be a cruel metaphor for his life. And then the worst possible thing happens.

He Spots Quark Badly Hidden Behind A Pillar

Internally he just goes 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA' 

Externally though it’s more like "How much of that did you hear???"

Quark’s trying to lighten the mood with a "Haha well it's hard to avoid hearing things with lobes as big as mine!" 

But Odo is not playing, so he breaks the fountain some more. As intimidation.

So Quark goes "Okay. Alright. I heard all the parts where you defended my honor. Now move aside."

And Odo goes 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAA' inside again, so he doesnt really move but just gets nudged aside by Quark.

Who returns the fountain back to its previous state.

Things are nice and silent for a second but then Quark disturbs the moment by saying "Okay now, real talk- you want another teacher, is that right?"

So Odos head whips up and he goes "No??? What the fuck quark. I thought you listened to that conversation. Youre the only one I want-"

and he Immediately slaps a hand over his mouth because Oh God That Came Out Wrong-

But Quark is just Laughing and being his usual little shit self like "Haha good one, let's go back inside now. (where the social conventions will force us to remain apart so we dont have to confront what you just said.)"

on the inside though- Quark is just as 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA' as Odo

"I absolutely Cannot go inside and socialise right now, I’ve had Quite enough of that." 

"Oh...well then...i'll leave you be?"

"No don’t-"

So Odo quickly grabs Quark’s hand (and Quark just fuckin uh dies on the spot) but he's not very communicative at the moment. So Quark kinda has to just interpret that for himself.

"Aaaaalright- let’s just take a walk then."

So they walk through the rose garden. holding *hands*. and Quark points out nice or interesting things while Odo just nods or hums in agreement.

Until they’ve come full circle and end up back at the fountain, where Quark is like "Okay. Wanna go back inside *now*?" 

Because he swears if they spend one more second like this he will HAVE to kiss this pile of space goo and he’d rather Odo make that decision for him.

And Odo is like "I just want to stay with you."

So Quark is like ‘Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool’, pulls them behind a hedge and kisses Odo.

because on GOD I enjoy the “going from an argument straight into kissing” trope, but that one is actually too on brand for quodo so I HAD to change it up.

[realmzenith]

benke !!!!!!

u truly want me dead but ily so- BUT OK BENKE my meme child

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?.2 seconds i hate him. if he HAD to sit still and he was feeling slightly more chill than usual he could prbly go five minutes. tops. he’s just rlly antsy. he needs to be doing smth w his hands

How easy is it for your character to laugh?EH not super easily but defo more easily than a lot of my other ocs from one to ten one being laughs extremely easily he’s prbly a 4. the key is to find him memes esp political nihilistic memes or fall in front of him bc he’s terrible

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)he doesn’t sleep. e v e r. who do u think he is?? nah jk on a more serious note, he actually doesn’t sleep very easily so usually he just listens to music until he dozes off

How easy is it to earn their trust?gosh that’s. difficult to say. p hard actually?? surprisingly hard for how much of a meme he acts like and how relatively extroverted he is. from one to ten w one meaning it’s very easy to gain his trust i’d say 7

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?he doesn’t rlly attach himself to ppl easily so it’s p easy to get him to not trust u. like he’ll be chill w u but he wont trust u all that much it’s a weird dynamic w him. w one being v easy to get him to distrust and ten very hard, he’s a 5. p much in the middle not rlly too much to one side or another

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?rules are great until they impede him from getting what he’s aimin for :) on a more serious note, he doesn’t rlly give a damn abt most laws like he doesn’t want to go to jail but at the same time if he’s not going to get caught he’s going to do it bc hey wtf yolo

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?LOL NOSTALGia thats a joke he dislikes sappy things n nostalgia falls into that category but he will on v v rare occasions reminisce. certain musical pieces have that effect on him esp the classical ones as he’s grown up w music (being a practical prodigy on the piano and all). he guesses that sometimes it is kind of nice to remember. just once in a while tho. in a while being the key phrase here

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?I MEAN he’s sixteen he’s still technically a child but basically the most common thing he hears is stop slacking and work harder. being an asian kid getting As is? absolutely crucial he’ll be smacked upside the head by his parents if he doesn’t so they always tell him to stop slacking tf off n actually study for once (tbh it’s fine he’s a genius practically he gets As easier than u can say banana split)

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?absolutely and he doesn’t rlly remember but he thinks it was “shit”

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?once he set out twenty peeps just behind the wheels of his mom’s car and when she backed out the entire wheels got covered in peeps and when she came home saying there was all this weird gooey stuff on her wheels and looked pointedly at him. he just blurted out that it was god exacting judgement on her for her sins. it didn’t end well. he ended up washing the entire car by himself. it still haunts him to this day

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?he’ll literally just say “what the fuck” and laugh

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?whine about it until someone scratches it for him dependent on how comfy he is around the ppl he’s with. if he’s not comfy around the ppl he’s w he’ll just sulk internally or scurry off to the bathroom and like, rub his back (presumptively that’s where he can’t reach) against the edge of the stall until the itch is gone bc he’s high

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?he thinks he looks best in all colors also he doesn’t rlly care abt fashion. he looks best in HM like purple or royal blue?? 

What animal do they fear most?he has this weird fear of armadillos and no one knows why it has smth to do w an incident at the zoo when he was six

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?he honestly doesn’t say everything that comes to mind even tho it SOUNDS like he does but he also. basically says everything that comes to mind. it’s odd bc he ends up being rlly engaging in conversation anyways. however he isnt immune to being at a loss for words and when he’s under pressure he will stumble a lil thru what he’s saying. but most of the time what u hear is what he’s thinkin

What makes their stomach turn?ok he’s not SUPER big abt justice or anything like that but if someone’s being torn down he’ll get rlly uncomfy unless he’s the one who initiated it bc he’s like hey hey haha guys dont say that abt them. also he dislikes roly polys w a passion bc they remind him of armadillos :)

Are they easily embarrassed?on one hand he has no shame on the other he does get p flustered if ppl flirt w him and it hits a spot (in a good way)? like he does get embarrassed moderately easily but it takes him a few seconds to realize he should be embarrassed if u get me

What embarrasses them?flirting, if u get a well aimed compliment in that he didn’t expect. also realizing he’s made a fool of himself bc that oftentimes happens but he also rarely realizes it so if he REALIZES he’s made a fool of himself he will get flustered

What is their favorite number?420 duh

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?he’d be like wtf why r u asking me this but if someone he does trust and is close to asked him he’d try his best to give a serious answer after a bout of awkward laughing to make sure they were serious. prbly like “familial love and platonic love are the same thing basically right? i guess platonic love is how u love ur friends so yk brofists and shit and then romantic love is more? special? idk it’s fucking great tho *fingers guns at sev*”

Why do they get up in the morning? his mom makes him get up for school otherwise what is leaving his bed when he can just pull his comp onto his lap while STAYING in his bed and game from there

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? oh he’s very possessive. he’ll defo keep whatever he’s worried abt losing close by to start and if it’s a person- friend or s/o- he’s going to be touching them a lot more. a hand on the back, a hug at the side, running his hands through their hair casually. anything to assert that no back off ur not taking them from me. but if it continues, which it v well may, knowing him, he’s going to start getting snarky n verbally fighting the other person. basically Messy pls reassure him if u are the object of his affections and he’s getting side-eye emoji abt someone 

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? he defo becomes resentful a bit. like he doesn’t get envious over most things- it’s mostly fear of losing the thing once he has it- but when it does he will get resentful and hole up a bit and generally just seem a little ticked

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?yeah he’s comfy talking abt sex. prbly a little too comfy. so basically anyone willing to engage him in the conversation topic will likely hear abt it but he’s calmed down ever since he got involved w sev

What are their thoughts on marriage?marriage is good? but far off and amorphous in his mind. for the most part he’s like there’s nothing wrong w it but it crosses his mind EXTREMELY infrequently   

What is their preferred mode of transportation? preferably in the back of a private plane, squirrel suit gliding or on a giant eagle, none of which he’s ever experienced in his life. but out of the things he has he is fond of sailing when it’s calm out bc he does get seasick a tiny bit. he likes fast cars too

What causes them to feel dread? his mother :) she may be small but she is Frightening

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? he doesnt rlly give a damn so lie most of the time but at the same time if he cares abt the thing and he’s asking u abt it pls do urself a favor and tell him the truth. it’s what he prefers and it’s rare anyways that he actually asks after smth

Do they usually live up to their own ideals? nope. he wants to win a nobel prize, publish a meme compilation book, become a world class pianist, go to pluto- u get the idea. ya boi has many high hopes for himself which he’s not rlly meeting atm. he’s a little all over the place, so despite his many talents he isn’t quite living up to the ideal version of himself he’s seeking after and prbly never will it’ll be very hard to get him to admit this not bc he’s an edgelord or smth but it’s hard to get him to talk abt deeper things but he does sincerely want to be a good moral person which dependent on the day and his level of seriousness he may or may not be living up to in his own eyes as well as in the eyes of others. what can i say he’s kind of a hoe

Who do they most regret meeting? life…. when life’s hand touched upon his little heart and gave him the gift of herself he immediately was filled w Ragret- on a more serious note it’s prbly the armadillo from the zoo

Who are they the most glad to have met? sev? he also adores his piano teacher but good luck getting him to admit that w heartfelt sincerity 

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? it’s honestly whatever’s the most recent thing he observed, heard or experienced when it comes to stories. he has no shortage of words to say and his fav sort of memes and jokes are politically nihilistic ones. so those are? in a way his go to?

Could they be considered lazy? yes. he only applies himself if he’s interested and for most of school he has no qualms abt being a lil sus and casually “accidentally” getting the answers to things so yeah that’s. that could be considered lazy. however, when he does care abt smth he will absolutely dedicate himself to it. he practices piano consistently and diligently day in and day out so it honestly depends on if he cares or not

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? v difficult. he rarely becomes guilty for longer than .4 seconds but when it does he’s srsly going to internalize that bc if he’s feeling guilty he prbly f-ed up real bad. he also won’t rlly talk abt it to anyone so it’s even more likely it’ll just get internalized 

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? that’s extremely dependent on who it is and what it is. if it’s sev he’ll b v supportive but sev is a VERY big exception in most cases also sev rarely gets visibly excited abt things so it’s usually a cause for celebration when he does. if josie (his bff) is excited abt smth? if he can relate he’ll be excited for her but if he can’t he’ll TRY his best but there will be some teasing involved bc that’s how he diffuses confusion. their other bff will get the same treatment but w slightly more effort bc she’s more sensitive but gosh if it’s someone he doesn’t know rlly well he’ll be rlly confused he’ll be like good for u ha?? or someone he knows casually. they’ll get teased so he tries but he also sucks at life. for such a great analyst he’s terrible at being socially delicate

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap? tbh prbly actively seek it. he defo pursued sev before they got together

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? he doesn’t rlly give a damn abt ppl’s names but if it’s say a piano piece it’s honestly just cold, hard repetition 

What memory do they revisit the most often? he doesn’t reminisce often hes a p go go go type of guy but if he does it’s prbly abt sev. neither of them voice it often but they’re both rlly grateful for the other

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? see, he’s kind of oblivious he doesn’t rlly think abt these things but when something annoys him? oh it annoys him and he’s going to make no effort to hide it or ignore it. so he’s honestly rlly bad at ignoring other ppl’s flaws. he’s a bit of a b like that 

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?very

How do they feel about children? no particular opinion! he’s the younger sib by quite a bit so he’s always been kind of the baby. he thinks kids are fine and he’s actually p good w them but he’d prefer to not babysit or anything like that. there are better more enjoyable things he could be doing w his time. as for having kids he almost never thinks abt that so he’s got no opinion there either. what happens happens after all

How badly do they want to reach their end goal? he doesn’t particularly have One End Goal but he has many aspirations and if he cares abt smth he will do everything in his power to reach it at least within reason. so p badly relatively speaking? 

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? he’s bi so if someone asked him to explain it he’d be like “it means idc what someone’s gender is when it comes to whether i want to fuck or not ;)” yes i hate him too

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character?MEME KING but also i’m excited to try and work out the balance between apathy, drive and subtle but very much present care for the ppl around himB) What inspired you to create them?i need a best friend for the main chara of the story benke is a part of! additionally, he shares a lot of character traits w an irl friend of mine so it’s a bit of a nod to themC) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?nope! benke was created for the purpose of filling a role tho honestly he’s spun a wild story for himself somehow looking @ u sevD) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?i must admit benke does NOT have a set appearance as of the present. he’s afab nb and does nothing to present as more masculine than he naturally appears. he’s indian, 5′4″ and he’s got short hair w highlights but beyond that i’m still working out his appearance E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?yes on a surface level to both. we’d meme together but at a deeper level we wouldn’t make good close friends. benke’s brand of caring for ppl is nearly opposite to mine and bc we’re already both unconventional in how we show we care abt someone we’d prbly both end up feeling neglected. there’d be a lot of miscommunication and honestly, ya boi would get on my nerves n i’d prbly get on hisF) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?TIRED he TIRES me but also a bit of pride bc he’s growinG) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?where do i begin. prbly how he’s unintentionally self centered. benke is far from uncaring abt his friends he will do crazy stupid brave things for them if it ever came to that but it’s hard for him to see why some of the things he says hurt other ppl’s feelings esp if they’re diff from him. he’ll be like ?? why u offended i didn’t say anything mean. he’s also RLLY bad at handling serious emotions even when they sometimes do need to be dealth wH) What trait do you admire most?HM prbly his knack for being a great conversationalist. ppl like him even if he isn’t the most popular bc he’s funny and p chill. he doesn’t have too much drama so it’s like hey there’s the meme guy even tho he’s kinda weird and tbh goals. being a good conversationalist can get u places and ease up SO many social situationsI) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?PRBLY but also i think he’d do rlly well in a sci fi universe eyes emojiJ) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?nah not rlly?? not yet at least ! 

[tentoriwrites]

When it’s Complicated, Let Me Go

Two for one special! Two requests finished in 24 hours! Woo! This is a Saizo angst songfic for @myotomespace! Thank you so much for waiting! I hope this is what you had in mind! I’m also going to tag @yoolee because I feel she might appreciate the Saiyukkins dynamic in this. @i-dont-look-good-i-look-great because she needs a distraction!

Saizo and MC have a fight and MC leaves Ueda and return to Kyoto. Yukimura decides if Saizo won’t marry her, he will and Saizo is more than willing to let it happen. But Kiyohiro has other ideas...

Requested Songs: Avril Lavigne - Complicated, Avril Lavigne - When You’re Gone, and I threw in Avril Lavigne - Let Me Go for extra angsty goodness.

“Life’s like this. That’s the way it is…” Saizo sighed as he laid on a roof overlooking Ueda. The sun beat down on him warm and soothing. On days like that, when he was feeling nostalgic, it almost felt like the warmth could melt the ice in his heart. He let out another self-depreciating sigh knowing that this moment was transient, whatever happiness he could derive from this world would be gone in a flash one day. That is to say, if he deserved happiness at all. He fancied himself like Icarus from the myths of a land far away that he would never see. Just like Icarus, every time he got close to the bright sun of happiness, the darkness melted his wings and brought him slamming back to the ground. Why should his delusions of taking a lover be any different?

Of course, sometimes a sun of a different kind interrupted his peace… “Saizo! I know you’re up there! Either you come down or I’m coming up!” Yukimura billowed from the ground below.

“Relax… What are you yelling for?” Saizo grumbled as he pushed himself to a sitting position.

“You sent her away again…” Yukimura growled as he came over the last wrung of the ladder. He glowered down at Saizo who, for his part, just looked out at the garden blankly. The ninja laid back down.

“Lay back… This has all been done before…” Saizo replied flatly as he patted the roof next to him. He knew that, in no way, would placate Yukimura’s righteous fury. He hoped! But knew otherwise. Before Yukimura could grab him and yank him up Saizo went on. “She left of her own accord.” Saizo stared up at Yukimura with half-lidded eyes, feigning that he would fall asleep again. “I believe her exact complaint was, I’m somebody else around everyone else. Always watching my back like I can’t relax… And somehow that just makes me come off as a fool in her eyes…” He closed his eyes completely and eased in for a nap. “I guess I make things complicated.”

“Well she was right about one thing, you really are a fool if you just let her go…” Yukimura’s voice was uncharacteristically harsh causing Saizo’s brow to quirk slightly for half an instant. He peered up at the little lord through barely opened eyes. With clenched fists, the samurai stormed off the roof and down the ladder.

“Where are you off to, little lord?” He asked the question but, Saizo already knew the answer. Or, at least he thought he did.

“If you… If you aren’t going to do right by her, I will.” Yukimura answered resolutely as he glared back at Saizo challengingly. Saizo met his gaze with pure indifference which only spurred Yukimura on. “She’s a good woman, Saizo. You’ll do no better…”

“Have a safe trip, little lord.” Saizo waved lazily before letting his arm fall over his eyes to block out the sun. He suddenly found he would prefer the darkness… Yukimura clenched his teeth before continuing his ascent down the ladder.

She let out a long, lonely sigh as she stared up at the dark ceiling. After hours of restlessness, she decided the only way this was going to get better was to write down everything she was feeling. She took out some spare writing materials and set brush to paper.

“The days feel like years when I’m alone. When you walk away, I count the steps that you take.” She laughed awkwardly when she realized he more disappeared than walked. She left the line in the letter anyways feeling it would convey her feelings all the same. “I miss when you show up unannounced after a mission. Dressed up like you’re someone else…” She stopped writing suddenly, the brush dropping from her hand leaving a large black blot on the page to punctuate her epiphany.

“Saizo wasn’t the problem… I am…” She muttered as her head looked up to the ceiling. “I… I wasn’t accepting him for everything he was…” She went on as tears started pouring out of her eyes. “How can I say I really love him if I can’t accept all he is?” The question, barely audible as it had been, was swallowed by the oppressive silence of the night. Clouds parted from before the moon and its soft light poured in through the shoji doors.

“Love that once hung on the wall used to mean something… but now it means nothing.” She sighed as she started to question if all the feelings she had for Saizo were real and true or just illusions. Cheerful dreams transposed over a dreary reality she didn’t want to see. “The echoes are gone in the hall… I’m alone now and this is for the better. I asked far too much of him for the sake of my selfishness.” She looked out at the sky as the clouds settled in front of the moon once more. “But I still remember the pain of December…” She pointed her face back down to the page before her, taking the brush up once more.

“This was all my fault. I’m sorry, Saizo. I’ll never forget you. Good bye…”

The next morning, eyes bleary with tears and sleeplessness, she handed the crisply folded letter to the inn keeper. “Where would you like me to send this, Miss?”

“To Ueda.” She replied quietly.

“I’ll see it done, Miss. I hope you have a safe journey.” The inn keeper gently took the letter and she smiled obligatorily.

“Thank you very much.” With a bow, she turned to continue on her way.

“Here comes the darkness again…” Saizo muttered as he started to get up. He sighed inwardly. That really wasn’t fair. Kiyohiro was just the messenger after all. Without even letting Kiyohiro greet him, Saizo snatched the mission from his hands.

“You’re even more irritable than usual. Could it be…” Kiyohiro started to tease Saizo but the Master Assassin cut him off.

“I was unaware being cheerful was part of my job description…” Saizo practically snapped as he looked over the mission.

“Well that answers my question…” The subordinate grumbled under his breath.

“This has nothing to do with her.” Saizo quipped handing the scroll back to Kiyohiro.

“I never said it did… you did.” Kiyohiro smirked knowing he had just successfully used Saizo’s own trick against him.

“Well now. Don’t we think we’re so clever?” Saizo’s voice was flat. Fading to nothing as he disappeared into the darkness of a growing night. Kiyohiro shook his head slowly.

“She was the best thing that ever happened to you… Something else to live for besides knowing if you didn’t complete these jobs someone else would have to…” He looked up at the moon with a forlorn expression. “She figured out something about you, you refuse to see in yourself.” He clenched his fists. He knew from the past that Saizo was about to do something foolish and he was the only one who could stop it.

Saizo, dressed for his mission, pulled a drawer open and took a woman’s kimono out of it. She had left it in his room the night before she left. He slowly pulled it to his face and inhaled deeply. Her scent still lingered in the deepest folds. “Why’d you have to go and make things so complicated?” After a moment of feeling utterly foolish, he knew what he had to do. He pulled the kimono out of the drawer and started to throw it in the fire.

“I'm breaking free from these memories… Gotta let it go, just let it go…” He said quietly as he watched the flames dance before his eyes. “I've said goodbye… Set it all on fire…” The way he spoke, it was clear he was trying to convince himself the words were true. “Gotta let it go, just let it go…” And yet, he could not… He let the kimono slip from his hands to the floor. He knew if he did return her scent would be gone and that was just as well. He could figure out what to do with the kimono then.

It was busy in the restaurant during the lunch rush that day. She had just delivered an order when Yukimura appeared at the doorway. A look of relief washed over him and he smiled broadly. “I finally found you!” He beamed walking up to her. She was far less excited to see him. Why on earth would Lord Yukimura come all the way to Kyoto after her?

Something terrible must have happened to Saizo. That thought instantly crossed her mind. Why was that the first thing she thought? Swallowing all her anxiety down she finally spoke.

“W… why are you here, Lord Yukimura?” She couldn’t hide the apprehension in her voice.

“Saizo might be foolish enough to let someone like you get away but, I am not.” He answered resolutely as he got on one knee and took her hand in his. “I would be honored if you would be my wife.” Her eyes were so wide they looked like they might pop out of her head, mouth hung open just as wide.

“Well look there! Looks like you’re going to be wed after all!” One of the regulars burst out in a cheer. The commotion drew her mother’s attention from the back.

“What’s going on out here?” She wondered as she came out to the dining room.

“Honorable Mother.” Yukimura addressed her with the utmost reverence. “I am Sanada Genjirou Yukimura.” He bowed deeply taking her mother aback for a moment. “I would like your permission to marry your daughter.”

“Well that’s all well and good with me…” She replied slowly as she eyed her bewildered daughter. “But you’re asking the wrong person. If she wants to marry you I have no objections.” Yukimura turned to look at her resolutely.

“I know this is very sudden. I have to return to Ueda in two days. If you agree to marry me, come back with me.” The way he looked at her, there was not an ounce of deceit in his eyes as he spoke. She had never known Lord Yukimura to be anything but genuine and earnest in everything he did. Why should she think any different of this? With that thought in mind, she nodded slowly.

“I will consider your proposal carefully.” A boyish grin graced his handsome features and bowed.

“Until then.” With a wave, he was gone. She tried to exhale, to relax…

“Why’d you have to go and make things so complicated?” She muttered as tears pricked at the corners of her eyes.

“Why don’t you take a break. We have things under control here…” Her mother soothed, rubbing her daughter’s back gently. With a slight nod, she headed upstairs to clear her head. She didn’t really need to clear her head though. She knew immediately why her first thought when she saw Yukimura had been of Saizo. In that moment, all her doubts about her feelings for Saizo were gone. But she knew she could no longer be selfish. She sat down at the writing desk and started to pen another letter. This time she gave him the choice. She would only marry Yukimura if Saizo truly, no longer could be with her.

“I let it go, and now I can know a brand-new life, down this road. Where it's right, you always know. So, this time, I won't let go without a fight.” She nodded resolutely after uttering this declaration.

Meanwhile, outside the restaurant, Yukimura raked a hand through his hair as he leaned heavily against the side of the building. He tried to get control of his breathing again while he grappled with the feelings inside himself. He couldn’t believe he was able to do that…

The mission had been going easily enough, at least for someone like Saizo. Anyone else would have struggled to traverse all the traps that had been set. They were expecting someone but, that was fine. This had all been put together clumsily. As he went through the motions of completing his mission he thought about how this might just be his opportunity to set her free once and for all.

Yukimura is a far better suited to her. He thought as he took the head of his target. But she won’t give up on me as long as I’m alive. He smiled bitterly at the thought. She’s always been too stubborn to accept the truth…

“Saizo we need to get out of here!” Kiyohiro urged Saizo towards a much closer route of escape. “This whole thing was a trap! If we’re here much longer they’ll catch us!”

“I’m going to hire you indefinitely.” Saizo replied taking a scroll from the folds of his clothes. “Make sure the little lord and lady stay out of trouble. The profits from Yugiri will ensure you’re too well compensated for the village to complain.” Saizo disappears before Kiyohiro can protest leaving him grasping for the scroll. He clicked his tongue irritably before setting off into the darkness.

“One of these days I’m going to stop cleaning up your messes…” Kiyohiro growled. “But today is not that day.”

Saizo deliberately slowed down allowing the guards and other ninja start to catch up. He continued to put up enough of a fight to be convincing to any village spies keeping tabs on him. He found himself backed up against a deep pond on the far side of the garden. A sanguine smile on his face he squared off with his death with the oddest of thoughts. As one after another his pursuers came after him, slowly wearing him down, he thought of her.

I’ve never felt this way before. No matter what I’m doing, I’m somehow reminded of you. He smiled slightly as a blade cut into his arm.

Their kids will be so cute… Too bad I won’t get to see them. As his body grew heavy, from poison no doubt, something grated at him from the inside. He was all too familiar with the feeling of regret but, it had never been quite this intense before. Ours would have been cuter… As the last of his consciousness faded, he pitched backwards into the pond. Still he smiled as he sunk deeper into the darkness that plagued him his whole life once and for all.

“We were made for each other. I know we were. And all I ever wanted was for you to know, everything I do, I give my heart and soul. I can hardly breathe; I need to feel you here with me… When you're gone, my heart will shatter and the pieces will miss you.” Someone was speaking to him.

Ahh… so this is what they meant. Saizo thought to himself, thinking back on stories of people sometimes hallucinating just before they die. He was underwater no one should be able to talk to him much less say something like that to him. That was something the little lady would say. He was coherent enough for the thought to cross his mind. If I come back as a vengeful spirit, I’ll haunt Kiyohiro for eternity for letting her watch me die...

The afterlife looks an awful lot like a cheap inn. Saizo thought as his eyes slowly pried open.

“So you’re finally awake…”

So Kiyohiro is to blame for all this… I’m still going to come back as a vengeful spirit and haunt him…

“Why exactly did you disobey me?” Saizo wondered trying to sit up but his body refused to move.

“Because trying to keep those two out of trouble is a full-time job for both of us and you know it.” Kiyohiro sighed as he sat down heavily next to Saizo’s bed.

“It seems I’ve been underestimating you, Kiyohiro. How exactly did you pull this grand caper off anyways?” The very rare compliment left the other ninja momentarily dumbstruck.

“I drugged you with poisoned needles then hid you in the pond until everyone was gone.” Kiyohiro explained as he pulled Saizo up into a sitting position.

“And how exactly did we keep me from drowning?” Mischief laced Saizo’s voice as a cheeky smile looked up at Kiyohiro.

“I would rather not go into details…” Kiyohiro muttered as he quickly got up and got food from a tray nearby. Saizo absolutely didn’t need to know Kiyohiro had been breathing through a reed and giving him mouth to mouth under the water for an hour…

“Where’s the little lady?” Kiyohiro smiled at the expected question.

“On the road back to Ueda.”

“She’s not here?” Saizo’s voice betrayed him just a bit as a lance of confusion pushed out.

“No… she’s not been here at all. She doesn’t even know something happened to you.” The other ninja answered as he handed Saizo a bowl of porridge. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason…” Saizo answered evasively but Kiyohiro just chuckled.

“These are for you…” Saizo looked down at two letters addressed to him, both previously opened. Saizo sighed as he took them slowly, recognizing the little lady’s handwriting.

“This is exactly why I did what I did.” He didn’t bother opening the letters, just sat them aside so he could eat. He chewed on the bite in this mouth for far longer than was necessary for porridge.

Hers is better…

“Dango…” He said quietly as he stared down at the bowl.

“Lord Yukimura is going to marry her if you don’t stop it.” Kiyohiro pressed ignoring Saizo’s demand.

“That was the plan.” Saizo replied turning his attention to the porridge again. Kiyohiro looked at him incredulously.

“You… planned for this the whole time?! Even though Lord Yukimura had no idea you were going to attempt suicide?!”

“I knew he would try to make me jealous so I would realize how much I care about her.” The corners of his mouth turned up slightly.

“Is it working?”

“I already knew how much I cared about her. That’s why she should be happy with a nice, kind man like Yukimura.” Saizo fell over suddenly, cheek sore. Kiyohiro wrenched him up by the collar.

“Why is it so damn hard for you to realize that you can be that person?!” He growled but Saizo just stared at him blankly. “Do you think none of us realized why you even bothered staying alive this long? You… you could have pulled the stunt you pulled a few days ago whenever you wanted and freed yourself from all this.” Kiyohiro gestured at Saizo’s injured state of being vaguely with one hand as he held Saizo fast with the other. Saizo’s brows furrowed slightly as Kiyohiro spoke.

“But you didn’t because you didn’t want us to have to take these jobs. To be put in the danger you face every day. To get the blood on our hands. To face the karma of bringing so much death.” The younger ninja’s voice cracked. “That’s why… I always go out of my way to clean up your messes! Why I work so hard to make sure that you two could be together! Have some semblance of normality!” He let go of Saizo’s collar and sank back on his feet. “That’s the only way I can repay you… I know I’m only alive today because of you…”

A long silence fell between them before Kiyohiro got to his feet. “If you really know her, you know she won’t be truly happy in a world without you. Even if you can’t be with her, if you can find no other reason to live, do it for her.” Kiyohiro stopped short of the door and addressed Saizo one last time without bothering to look at him. “Your kids would have been cuter.” Saizo’s eyes went huge, just now realizing what he had thought was a private comment, he had said out loud.

The wedding plans were progressing slowly as Yukimura dawdled hoping Saizo would get back from his mission before the appointed day. Still he was being the picture of a doting lover, asking after her constantly to make sure she wasn’t overworking herself.

“Are you sure you should be doing all this work on top of planning the wedding? It must be exhausting! Let me get that for you.” Saizo could tell she was exhausted but he doubted the planning had anything to do with it. He knew Yukimura enough to know that he could be a bit much sometimes. There was a good reason Saizo took to napping on rooves and in trees… Without him around the little lord was funneling all of his attention on the little lady.

Saizo watched from the tree tops as the little lady sought Yukimura out. He wasn’t terribly surprised she had actually agreed to the marriage, it was the logical thing to do. She could stay in Ueda with the people she cared about. It put her family in a safer position. Yukimura would be an excellent husband and father. Saizo smiled slightly imagining Yukimura on his wedding night a blushing, blabbering mess.

“He really has no idea what he’s getting into with this bluff…”

“Lord Yukimura, we need to go pick out the fabric for our wedding clothes soon.” Her voice was heavy, her movements sluggish. He could tell she really didn’t want to be doing this. Something inside of Saizo grated again. With a grim expression, he got to his feet and alighted from the trees.

“Maybe you were right… Maybe I was faking a little bit…” He whispered as he slid soundlessly into her room. “But you accepted me at my lowest… at my worst…” He went on sitting his fox mask, white stained a faint pink from the blood of too many lives taken to count, and a letter down next to her head. After a gentle kiss to the forehead, he left her to sleep peacefully.

“I've broken free from these memories. I've let it go. With two goodbyes, I’m ready for a new life with you. I won't let you go, don't let me go.” The letter slipped from her fingers as she bolted to her feet. She raced through the halls with the mask still in her hand. Without bothering to announce herself at the door, she threw it open.

“Where’s the fire, little lady?” Saizo wondered as he turned around, one of her kimonos folded in his arms as he sat at his kotatsu.

“I… I found this in my room…” She sniffled holding the mask out to him.

“You can keep it… I won’t be needing it anymore… I have nothing left of myself to hide from you.” He smiled at her warmly as he turned and got to his feet, leaving the kimono behind. He spread his arms open wide and gestured for her to come to him with his hands. She dropped the mask in her flight, it cracked when it hit the floor. With tears streaming down her face, she launched herself into his arms.

“I’m so sorry, Saizo! I didn’t understand how you felt or what you must have been going through.” She sobbed as she clutched his kimono in tight fists.

“It was my fault too…” He soothed as he stroked the back of her head. “I can’t tell you everything, I may never be able to. But just understand, the last thing I want is for you to ever see the darkness I have seen.” She started in his arms but he held her fast. “I’m a child of the night… but no night can last forever. The only reason I can see the sun at all, is because of you.”

[anunraveledwoman]

Respect, Vulnerability, Intimacy.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the dynamics of me and Richard especially after last Sat. I’m gonna try to talk it out w myself first before speaking w him. Sometimes its hard to understand exactly where along the line of honesty he straddles because he seems that he wants to be agreeable and honest but most times it seems that there are things perhaps better left un talked about. I’m afraid that his information on me will be a tool he uses against me to make his decisions on the future. But perhaps it is best if those are the decisions he chooses to make anyway.

I’ve learned more than demanding respect my lessons are to learn how to respect or in what situations it is viewed as disrespectful. The trend w me and Richard has been more intimate. I’ve noticed it but I don’t know if he sees it as much as I do. I feel more comfortable around him as if the relationship in some sort of unspoken way is moving forward. Toward what Idk, but it’s moving simply bcos I’m learning more about him and he’s learning more about me. But that said is this how he sees us? Or is he just coasting out this year til its over? Glad to have someone to accompany him on the ride toward his one true happiness? Back home. When sat rolled around intimacy was definitely a little strained and I felt it immediately, especially the next morning. Its so hard for me to swallow it when we’ve been trending toward getting closer. And I falling into habitual attention seeking behaviour from random boys does not help the situation. 

For me, what was wrong to do to your partner had always something to do w crossing lines, or boundaries. But I if I look at Huangyi’s behaviour, objectively, she is not doing anything wrong. Then why does it irk me to see her that way? Why do I feel so strongly about it. Perhaps I feel that if Jack were there she wouldn’t do it. And there are only so many times you can use the “i was drunk, i’m sorry” excuse. I think what she did was disrespectful, but I also think what I did was disrespectful to Richard. It isn’t my part to decide whether or not he is someone who deserves my respect, I have chosen him to be my boyfriend and I should act in a manner that exercises this. His lesson is to be someone who I should come to respect, and my lesson is to understand why I partake in such behaviour and realise how hurtful it is especially when he says “ I don’t want to see that,’ It’s hard for me alter my behaviour, but I’ve done it pretty often and I can only hope that this one too can be kicked bcos it is my hardest habit yet. 

I guess I’m afraid to talk to Richard about this bcos every time I am vulnerable it feels harder and harder the deeper I get. As much as I am used to sharing about myself as I hang out w boys, we are definitely entering unchartered territory, things I too am realising for the first time on my own terms. I dont know how much of this he appreciates, or even wants. How much about someone would you want to learn when you dont know if they are going to be around or if its a friend you’re even going to have. A large part of me wants to close up and hide from him and carry on as if nothing has happened. But an even bigger part of me feels horribly guilty for hurting him and I want to help him understand what I’ve learned so that he realises not only am I aware but I would like to change this pattern. 

Sometimes I wonder why I dont want to hurt him. And put in effort to not. He’s just gonna leave me like everyone else. And 10 years from now I wont even remember his smell or his laugh or the way it feels like to be hugged by him. Perhaps I need to learn that treating other people well is more a practice for me then them. It isnt about what lasts or doesn’t, wasted time or wasted youth. It’s about learning that kindness doesn’t always have to be treated w kindness to be good. Some emotions need to be practiced so that your heart learns that pattern of treatment over self protection, over walls, over all those emotional coffins that get stored up in the darkest corners of your mind. It is liberating to let go, to let in to let be.

[viralhottopics]

Passion is overrated 7 habits that you need instead

Image: Shutterstock / ChingChing

Its common wisdom. Near gospel really, and not just among young people and founders. Across generational lines, sentiments like those from Steve Jobs 2005 commencement at Stanford have been engraved into our collective consciousness:

The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.

In other words, follow your passion. Theres just one problem: Follow your passion is dangerous advice.

Thats a troubling claim, but it comes straight from Cal Newports investigation into the details of how passionate people like Steve Jobs really got started as well as what scientists say predicts happiness and fuels great accomplishment.

Newports not alone. In recent years, a host of leaders, academics, and entrepreneurs have all come to the same startling conclusion: nearly everything youve been told about following your passion is wrong.

Here are seven habits you need instead.

1. Not passion, purpose

Ryan Holiday, author of Ego Is the Enemy:

Your passion may be the very thing holding you back from power or influence or accomplishment. Because just as often, we fail with no, because of passion. [P]urpose deemphasizes the I. Purpose is about pursuing something outside yourself as opposed to pleasuring yourself.

Until about a century ago, passion was a dirty word. Classical philosopher like Socrates and Marcus Aurelius saw passion as a liability not an asset: an insatiable and destructive force. Why?

Chiefly because passion is dangerously self-centered. In fact, our own modern descriptions of passion betray this inward bend: I want to [blank]. I need to [blank]. I have to [blank]. In most cases, whatever word finishes those sentences regardless of how well meaning it might be is overshadowed by the first.

Purpose, on the other hand, is about them, not me. It reorients our focus onto the people and causes were trying to reach, serve, help, and love. In The Happiness Hypothesis, psychologist Jonathan Haidt describes this pursuit as a striving to get the right relationships between yourself and others, between yourself and your work, and between yourself and something larger than yourself. If you get these relationships right, a sense of purpose and meaning will emerge.

Passion makes us bigger. Purpose connects us to something bigger and in doing so makes us right sized.

2. Not passion, picking

Shaa Wasmund, author of Stop Talking, Start Doing:

No is a far more powerful word than Yes. Every Yes said out of obligation or fear takes time away from the things and people we love. When an opportunity appears connected with your passion, its even trickier. Instead of snatching up everything that might get your closer to the life you want, give yourself the space to pick carefully.

Good is the enemy of great. Thats how Jim Collins put it anyway. Learning to say No is easily one of the most vital skills we can cultivate. And yet, even if youve mastered No to the obvious stuff, passion rears its head.

The blinding effect of passion leads us unthinkingly into projects and meetings that, in truth, are dead ends. Worse, they sap time and energy that would otherwise move us forward. When Tim Ferriss asked journalist Kara Swisher what message shed put on a billboard for millions to see, her answer was a single word, Stop.

And thats what picking is all about: slow down, pause, evaluate, weigh, and only then make a clear-headed choice. Picking involves, first, putting a time buffer on our decisions, particularly decisions that appear connected with your passion. Second, running our choices by an objective third party: a friend or colleague who can call out our blind spots.

Sleep on it. Reach out. The sun will rise tomorrow. And be ruthless with your Nos.

3. Not passion, practice

Angela Duckworth, author of Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance:

After youve discovered and developed interest in a particular area, you must devote yourself to the sort of focused, full-hearted, challenge-exceeding-skill practice that leads to mastery. You must zero in on your weaknesses, and you must do so over and over again, for hours a day, week after month after year.

We all love shortcuts. The allure of getting more by doing less is seductive. But are there times when doing more equals more? Absolutely.

The classic illustration comes from David Bayles and Ted Orlands Art and Fear where a ceramics teacher divided his class into two groups. The first was told theyd be graded on quality. The other, quantity. To get an A, the quantity group was required to produce fifty pounds of clay pots. Not exactly an artistically inspired assignment. And yet, when grading time came, a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity.

What accounted for this reversal of expectations?

Easy: while the quality group held back laboring under perfectionism the quantity group got busy. They practiced. And thats good news. If greatness came down to passion or worse, talent then itd be reserved for only a select few. Practice means greatness is doable one tiny step after another.

4. Not passion, planning

Liran Kotzer, CEO of Woo.io:

Passion is indeed very important, but what most people don’t know is whats needed to achieve their true potential. Whether its to acquire new skills, get a promotion, or achieve what they want, it all starts with having a plan based on real data and real-world options.

The only word less sexy than practice is planning. And yet planning is a golden thread woven through the lives of artists, leaders, and entrepreneurs alike. The trick here is that plans need not be grandiose. Rather, they shouldnt be.

Optimism is wonderful when it comes to our dreams. However, when it comes to whats next the nitty-gritty actions thatll get us there optimism kills. Infected with passion, our plans lose touch with reality. We overestimate strengths and underestimate challenges. Beyond the real data and real-world options, we build castles in the sky. Thats one of the reasons platform like Woo, which lets you get feedback from companies and headhunters anonymously, are so valuable.

Where passion disconnects us from reality, planning especially planning of the SMART goal and number-crunching variety drives home the true state of affairs.

That true state rescues us from false expectations, show stoppers, and resentment. As a good friend of mine likes to say, The question when youre trying to bring a dream into reality shouldnt be, What going to go right? It should be, Whats going to go wrong?

5. Not passion, positioning

Jason Stone, founder of Millionaire Mentor Inc.:

Passion can only take you so far. After that, if you don’t have the skills, the tools, the resources, the knowledge, and the track-record to move forward, take risks, and expand. Otherwise, you wont be able to position yourself as an authority. Positioning is key to make sure you are ready when opportunity strikes!

Humans are associative creatures. We think and act not in isolation but by comparing and contrasting.

The basic approach of positioning, wrote Al Ries and Jack Trout in Positioning: The Battle for Your Mind, is not to create something new and different, but to manipulate whats already up there in the mind, to retie the connections that already exist. This is especially true when it comes to how other people see us.

Passionate people often come off as self-inflated. Theyre legends in their own minds. Positioning means leveraging who you are and what youve done as a springboard to whats next. It embraces the associate nature of other people and while it still leaves room for confidence acknowledges that how others perceive us is more real, at least to them, than how we see ourselves.

6. Not passion, peripheral

Troy Osinoff, author of My Bad Parent: Do As I Say, Not as I Did:

People that think they completely understand their world are the most susceptible to overlook new opportunities. Peripheral is about establishing an unwavering curiosity to use your existing knowledge in uncovering new patterns and trends both for the sake of your personal development as well as the success of your business or career.

Passion makes us myopic. We become so focused on the desire inside us, we lose sight of whats around us. Objectivity the ability to see the world as it truly is atrophies in the blinding light of passion.

Adopting a peripheral perspective forces us to examine the margins. It widens our view. Rather than rush headlong into disaster, were able to spot not just the pitfalls but the opportunities we would have otherwise missed.

How? By cultivating curiosity. Questions like, What am I missing? What am I ignoring? Who could give me a fresh take? are vital in every area of life. Likewise, so is putting ourselves in new situations, reading books outside our passions, and intentionally pursuing people who have nothing to do with what it is we think we want.

7. Not passion, perseverance

Brian D. Evans, founder of Influencive and Inc. 500 Entrepreneur:

The person who calls themselves a student is more a master than those who try to wear the title. Get up when you get knocked down. Come back stronger, faster, and (above all) smarter. The constant desire to learn and overcome has helped me achieve everything. You must persevere.

Although it might sound odd, perseverance is as much about putting in effort as it is battling ego. Drunk on passion, masters are doomed to repeat failures in the name of pushing through. In contrast, students do more than hone their craft; they learn from their mistakes.

Asked if the Patriots historic comeback in Super Bowl LI was his greatest game ever, Tom Brady replied: [W]hen I think of an interception return for a touchdown, some other missed opportunities in the first 37, 38 minutes of the game, I dont really consider playing a good quarter-and-a-half, plus overtime as one of the best games ever but it was certainly one of the most thrilling.

Certainly Brandy persevered, and itd be nice if that guaranteed success. But sometimes you wont come back to win it. At least, not in the moment. Jobs will be lost. Pitches turned down. Relationships ended. And reviews harsh.

Failure, however, isnt just an inevitable stepping stone toward success. Rejection is part of success itself. As Louis CK put it to a budding comedian, The only road to good shows is bad ones. Just go start having a bad time and, if you dont give up, you will get better.

Is passion a bad thing?

Understood rightly, no. But as the be-all-and-end-all? Yes.

Cal Newports prescription was skill: passion is the result of excellence, not its source.

Far from a magic bullet, passion can mislead us, blind us, and even turn us in on ourselves. Newport was right: Follow your passion might just be terrible advice. Thankfully, these seven habits put passion in its place so that the fire Jobs spoke of doesnt burn out but endures.

Aaron Orendorff is the founder of iconiContent and a regular contributor at Entrepreneur, Lifehacker, Fast Company, Business Insider and more. Connect with him about content marketing (and bunnies) on Facebook or Twitter.

Read more: http://ift.tt/2nC02C7

from Passion is overrated 7 habits that you need instead