#today on: this should have been posted sooner...

[chaosandcandies]

UNPLUGGED

CHAPTER XIX: Pretty & Polished

trope: fem!9th skz member warnings: angst, drama, insecure oc, cyber bullying, slow burn pairings: hyunjinxfem!oc prev|next

THE MOMENT THE HOST GAVE THE closing line — “We’ve been with Stray Kids, and this was StarZone!” — and the studio lights dipped into soft standby, everyone exhaled. Smiles faded. Postures slumped. The masks peeled off without anyone having to say a word.

Iseul’s jaw ached.

She hadn’t even realized she’d been clenching it until now.

Staff began buzzing again, wrapping up cables, thanking the team, offering water bottles and quick nods of appreciation. Somewhere behind her, Felix cracked his neck with a dramatic groan and muttered, “I aged six years during that.”

“Same,” Seungmin deadpanned, already halfway out of his mic pack.

Chan stood a beat later than the others. He rolled his shoulders, pulled out his earpiece, and handed it to a nearby staff member with a tired smile — then turned to Iseul.

She was still seated, perfectly upright, her hands clenched around the edges of her chair like she was afraid she’d fall through it. Her expression was… pleasant. Too pleasant.

Chan approached slowly, crouching just a little to meet her eye level.

“Hey,” he said gently. “You did well.”

Iseul blinked like she hadn’t heard the question.

Then she nodded. Her expression didn’t change — not annoyed, not angry. Just... tired.

“I didn’t mean to sound harsh earlier,” Chan continued, scratching the back of his neck. “It was just... you know how they twist things in post. I didn’t want your words getting taken the wrong way.”

Another nod. Once. Twice. Maybe more than necessary.

“I get it,” she said. “I know you were just looking out.”

Her voice was calm. Too calm. She even smiled.

Chan chuckled gently, filling the silence before it got awkward. “And the bit where Seungmin cracked that joke about me being a ‘grandpa leader’? Your timing was perfect. That little laugh of yours saved it from sounding like an actual roast.”

Iseul gave a soft laugh — more of an exhale with a melody.

Chan’s smile lingered.

For a second, he felt like maybe — maybe — things were okay between them again.

She was nodding. She was smiling. She wasn’t flinching.

That had to count for something, right?

“I know today probably felt like a lot,” he added after a pause, straightening up and offering his hand to help her up. “But you handled it better than most people would. You should be proud of yourself.”

Iseul took his hand, let him pull her up.

“Thanks, oppa,” she said.

Chan breathed a little easier, patted her shoulder like it was all behind them. “Glad we’re good.”

But they weren’t.

Not exactly.

The rest of the group had already shuffled toward the backstage — some laughing, some dragging their feet, some halfway into a heated debate over where they’d left their jackets.

Chan walked ahead too, chatting with the manager about next week’s schedule.

Iseul followed.

But not closely.

She walked with purpose, like she knew exactly where she was going. And maybe she did — as long as forward meant away. Her fingers curled around her phone like it might anchor her, like it might distract her from how her stomach still twisted from that too-bright spotlight, from all the praise she hadn’t earned, from all the ways Chan kept looking at her like she was okay.

She wasn’t mad at him.

That was the worst part.

Chan was kind. He cared. He said all the right things, and he meant them.

But it didn’t matter.

Because right now, kindness just felt like pressure in prettier packaging.

She caught her reflection in a mirror as they passed.

Still flawless.

Still smiling.

Still pretending.

The interview aired barely a day later — faster than any of their usual promotions. Maybe it was strategy. Maybe desperation. Either way, the company didn’t waste time pushing out the new narrative.

The sooner the fans accepted it, the sooner the noise would quiet down.

She sat curled up on the corner of the dorm couch, hoodie sleeves pulled over her hands, a half-eaten tangerine resting on the armrest beside her. The others were scattered across the room, half-lounging, half-dozing, still dressed in their practice clothes.

It was Changbin who spotted the notification first.

“Oh hey,” he said, mouth full of chips. “StarZone interview just dropped.”

“Already?” Seungmin frowned. “Didn’t we just film it yesterday?”

“Quick PR turnaround,” Chan muttered, pulling out his phone. “They’re really on their redemption arc grind.”

“Play it,” Han said, already pulling a blanket over his legs. “Let’s see if they edited out my genius impression of Minho.”

Minho rolled his eyes but didn’t protest.

Chan opened the link on the living room TV, casting the YouTube page with a few taps. The intro music blared, and the familiar studio set flickered to life on screen. Nine smiles. Nine waves. The perfect picture of unity.

Iseul stayed silent.

From the couch, she could feel the moment her own face appeared on screen. Hair done. Makeup glowing. That pink gloss again. That dumb pun Felix had cracked about dorm laundry or whatever. She didn’t remember the setup — only the cue. Her laugh had landed exactly where the editors wanted it. The group’s laughter echoing around her like she’d always been part of it.

Her stomach twisted.

It was like watching a stranger wear her skin.

The boys had already pulled out their phones, reading the comments aloud and laughing at the ridiculous ones.

“Yo, someone said Minho blinked like a cat during Chan’s speech.”

“Someone called Iseul ‘the calm Chan’ — wait, that’s kind of a serve.”

“They said we look like a Netflix ensemble cast now. Not wrong.”

Iseul pulled her knees to her chest.

On screen, she was laughing again. That moment in the middle — Seungmin’s roast, her little giggle, the perfectly timed reaction shot. Cut. Edit. Zoom. Caption: “She fits right in!”

“People are loving you, noona,” Jeongin beamed from the floor, phone tilted up. “Look at this — ‘She’s so natural with the guys, I forgot she was new.’”

Another voice read out: “‘Omg Iseul is such a comfort member. Her laugh is EVERYTHING.’”

Comfort. Natural. Everything.

She wanted to be grateful. Wanted to believe it.

But instead, she just felt some sort of ugly anger blooming inside her chest.

Because none of it felt real.

None of those fans had seen her gasping for breath in the bathroom between takes. None of them had heard the strained way she said “thank you” after the manager reminded her — again — to talk less and smile more. They didn’t know what her laugh sounded like when it wasn’t scheduled. They didn’t know her.

They liked this version of her.

The polished, palatable, media-trained version. The girl who laughed at the right time and didn’t say too much. Who sat in the middle because PR told her to. Who didn’t flinch when the boys reached over her to grab mics or make jokes that skimmed the edge of discomfort.

They liked a story.

And she was the plot device.

Her hoodie sleeves were damp. She didn’t remember when she started gripping them so tightly.

“You okay?” Felix asked from the other end of the couch, but his voice barely broke through the rising fuzz in her ears.

Iseul blinked.

Nodded.

Swallowed.

On screen, the host threw in a final question — “So what’s next for Stray Kids?” — and Chan started answering with the practiced ease of someone who’d done it a hundred times. The camera panned wide. Everyone was smiling. Iseul included.

Except she wasn’t smiling now.

The screen glowed brighter than it needed to. The volume buzzed even at a low setting. Her own voice filled the room — polished, pretty, professional.

She wanted to scream — just once, loud and ugly.

She didn’t feel polished. Or pretty. Or professional.

She felt fake. And so, so tired of pretending.

“Iseul-ah,” Hyunjin said gently, this time closer. He was watching her more than the screen now. “You sure you’re okay?”

She didn’t respond.

The phone was still in her hand. Still open to the YouTube page. The comments kept flooding in, little dopamine bombs, all praise and warmth — for a version of her she didn’t even recognize.

All for someone who didn’t exist.

“I didn’t know she was this funny??”  “I was skeptical at first but she actually fits so well with them omg.” “The way Chan smiled when she talked?? He's proud and I get it.”

Without warning, Iseul’s hand moved.

She picked up her phone from her lap — and flung it.

The phone flew across the room and smacked against the wall with a startling thud, landing screen-first on the floor.

Everyone froze.

Changbin scrambled to pause the video.

A breath caught in someone’s throat. Felix’s, maybe.

Iseul didn’t say anything. She didn’t flinch.

Not at the sound. Not at the silence that followed.

“Okay,” Seungmin said slowly, eyebrows raised. “That’s one way to log out of YouTube.”

She didn’t look at him. Just stared at the paused image on the screen — her face caught mid-smile, eyes crinkled at the edges. It looked natural. Genuine.

She hated it.

She just stood up slowly, jaw tight, and muttered, “I’m going to my room.”

Jeongin made a small motion, like he was about to get up too — but Minho subtly stopped him with a hand on the shoulder and Iseul didn’t bother saying anything as she moved towards her room.

The silence she left behind felt heavier than the thud of her phone against the wall.

No one moved for a second. The paused frame on the TV glared back at them: Iseul’s face frozen mid-laugh, like some cruel parody of the expression she’d been fighting to maintain.

Han was the first to shift, sitting up straighter under the blanket.

“Well that happened,” Han finally said, scratching the back of his neck. ““Sooo... I’m just gonna assume she didn’t throw her phone because of my Lee Know hyung's impression?”

No one laughed.

Changbin gave him a flat look and muttered, “Han, now is not the time.”

Han threw his hands up. “Hey, I’m just trying to—”

“Don’t.”

It wasn’t angry. Just tired.

Han shut his mouth.

Across the room, Seungmin sat forward, elbows on his knees. He wasn’t saying anything, but his gaze was sharp, flickering between the paused video and the corner where Iseul had been curled up.

Jeongin stood abruptly. “I’m getting ramen.”

Felix blinked. “What?”

“She looked tired. She always wants spicy ramen when she’s tired.” Jeongin was already halfway to the kitchen, grabbing his wallet and muttering under his breath. “And yogurt. She likes that weird passionfruit one. The one that smells like shampoo.”

“I’m coming with you,” Felix said, hopping up, voice resolute. “We’ll get the XL pack. And strawberry. Just in case.”

The two were halfway to the door before anyone else moved.

“They know that won’t fix it, right?” Seungmin said after a beat, voice quieter now.

“They know,” Minho replied, rubbing his jaw. “But it makes them feel useful.”

No one argued.

Changbin stood awkwardly by the coffee table, glancing between the empty hallway and the shattered silence Iseul had left behind. “She didn’t even yell,” he said. “I’ve seen her yell at her phone for autocorrect changing ‘ah’ to ‘shark,’ but this time… nothing.”

“Her yelling would’ve been easier,” Chan said quietly.

Everyone looked at him.

He was still sitting on the floor, elbows on his knees, hands clasped — like if he held still enough, maybe he could rewind the past few hours. Like if he focused hard enough, maybe the moment would make sense.

Because now that the fog of it all was lifting — the fake laughs, the tension in her shoulders, the way she hadn’t made eye contact once since the studio wrapped — it all seemed obvious.

He’d known it the moment her smile didn’t reach her eyes earlier. When she laughed on cue, but her voice was quieter than usual. When she said “I get it” but didn’t look him in the eye.

When he tried to comfort her — to smooth it over like always — and she let him.

That was the worst part.

She let him.

No pushback. No sarcasm. No glare. Just that perfect, media-ready smile and a soft “thanks, oppa.”

It was all a performance. And he’d accepted it like a fool. Like that meant things were okay.

He rubbed his face with both hands, leaning forward, suddenly exhausted. “I shouldn’t have said anything about the PR edits,” he muttered. “She was already nervous. I just made it worse.”

“You were trying to protect her,” Minho replied. “Doesn’t mean you did it right. But I get it.”

“She looked at me like she was trying to pass an exam,” Chan said quietly. “Not like someone whom she could trust.”

The words hung in the air.

And then — like a thread being tugged — Chan felt it.

A stare.

From across the room, Hyunjin hadn’t said a word. He sat on the floor near the couch, legs crossed, eyes locked on Chan like he’d been watching him unravel in real time.

Because of course he knew. He’d been right beside them during the interview – close enough to catch Iseul’s clenched fists in her lap, the sharp inhale when she swallowed her voice, the way she sat so still, as if any movement would shatter her mask.

Chan met Hyunjin’s gaze.

And Hyunjin didn’t look away. If anything, he leaned in slightly — like he wanted to say something but knew the words would be too late now.

There was no blame in his eyes. No accusation. Just a quiet sort of knowing. A “you saw it too” kind of stare. Like he’d been holding onto the same dread since yesterday — except unlike Chan, he hadn’t tried to fix it with empty reassurances.

Chan looked down again.

Maybe that’s where he went wrong.

He stood, moved to pick up her phone — the screen cracked, like something vital had finally splintered. He didn’t look up as he said, “I’ll go check on her.”

The silence in her room was too loud.

It pressed in from every direction — heavy, thick, almost humming with judgment. Like the walls themselves were holding their breath, waiting to see what she would do next.

Iseul sat on the edge of her bed, knees drawn up, arms wrapped tightly around them. The glow from her desk lamp cast a soft circle of light around her, but the rest of the room felt dim. Muted. Like even the air was holding its breath.

She didn’t know what came over her when she threw her phone.

But it was ugly and it was true and it eased the tightening around her chest a bit.

Unfortunately that sense of comfort was only temporary.

The panic came slow, like a tide creeping up her spine. She hadn’t realized it until her hands were trembling. Until the room felt just a little too warm. Until her thoughts started racing in circles.

Why did you smile?

Why didn’t you say anything?

Why didn’t anyone stop it?

No, worse—

Why didn’t they notice?

Her breath caught.

She blinked, trying to stop the sting behind her eyes. Not again. She wasn’t going to cry again. Not after everything. Not when the part of her that still cared was already stretched thin, brittle from being bent for too long.

There was a knock at the door.

She flinched.

Another pause, and then —

“Iseul?”

Chan.

Of course it was him.

She didn’t answer.

“I’m coming in.”

The door creaked open and Chan stepped into the room, careful, hesitant, like he was stepping into something sacred — or fragile.

Iseul didn’t look at him.

He stayed near the door. “Your phone’s busted,” he said softly, holding it out with both hands. “Might still work if we—”

“Just leave it.”

His hands paused mid-air. He lowered them. “Okay.”

Silence again.

She felt him staring, and it made her skin itch.

He exhaled through his nose and sat slowly on the floor near her bed, close enough to talk, far enough not to crowd. “Iseul,” he said carefully, “what happened out there—”

“You know what happened.”

Her voice came out sharper than she meant, but she didn’t apologize.

Chan didn’t flinch. “Yeah. I do.”

More silence.

Then Iseul scoffed, bitter. “Did you come in here to make sure I don’t cry in front of the group? Or is this another PR damage control talk?”

“That’s not fair.”

“Isn’t it?”

Chan leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “You think I don’t see what you’re going through? I’m trying—”

“No. You’re managing me.” She turned to look at him, eyes hard. “There’s a difference.”

He went still.

“Y’know what the managers tell me? They tell me what to say, when to smile, when to pull back because the fans ‘aren’t ready for me.’ But that’s expected from them. What really hurts is that you – you – watch me get ripped apart online and tell me not to look. You talk like you’re protecting me, but you never ask me what I want. You just expect me to go along with it because I should be grateful.”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

The words cracked in her throat. “You treat me like a PR problem you have to fix. Not like a person. Not like someone who—who’s trying so fucking hard just to keep up with the rest of you.”

She wasn’t yelling. But her voice shook.

And that hurt worse.

Chan rubbed his face with both hands, like he was trying to steady himself. “You think I don’t care about you?”

“I think you care about the version of me that doesn’t make things complicated.”

“Iseul—”

“I’m not your burden to carry, oppa.”

“I never said you were!”

“But you act like it.”

Her voice cracked then, just barely — but it was enough. The lump in her throat was impossible to ignore now. The tears were right there, hot and furious.

She didn’t want to cry in front of him. Not now.

Not when it would look like weakness instead of what it really was — exhaustion.

He stood, suddenly looking older than before, jaw tight. “I came in here because I care. I’m sorry I didn’t know how to say the right thing, but—”

“No, you just said the easy thing.”

Chan stared at her.

Then slowly, he nodded.

“Okay,” he said quietly. “You don’t want me here right now.”

He walked to the door, paused with his hand on the handle.

But he didn’t look back.

Just said, “I’ll be out there when you do.”

He

And Iseul sat perfectly still.

The tears didn’t fall yet. But they would. Eventually.

The door clicked shut behind Chan, but the sound reverberated like a gunshot through the dorm.

He stepped out into the hallway, shoulders taut, jaw clenched — and didn’t get three steps before the boys were on him.

“Hyung?” Han stood up sharply.

“What happened?” Changbin asked at the same time, trying to read his face.

“Is she okay?” Seungmin voice cracked slightly, fingers tightening around the sleeves of his hoodie.

But Chan didn’t pause. Didn’t explain. Didn’t meet anyone’s eyes. Just kept walking until he disappeared into the room he shared with the rest of 3RACHA and Hyunjin, the door shutting behind him with a quiet but absolute finality.

Minho’s curse came seconds later, vicious and loud.

“Fucking hell,” he snapped, throwing his arms out. “Will both of them quit being goddamn two-year-olds and deal with the damn problem already?!”

Nobody corrected him. No one told him to quiet down.

Because it wasn’t just rage in his voice. It was helplessness. Frustration. The kind that came from loving people who didn’t know how to stop hurting.

Seungmin sighed — the long, exhausted kind that came from holding up a dam that had already cracked. He sank back into the couch with a dead-eyed stare. “I’m done,” he said flatly. “She wants to sulk, he wants to mope, and apparently we’re just here to… I don’t know. Orbit around their misery like idiot satellites.”

“That’s rich, coming from you,” Changbin shot back, turning on him, voice rising. “You think this is about sulking? She’s breaking down in there, and you’re sitting here acting like it’s beneath you to care.”

“I do care!” Seungmin snapped. “But what do you want me to do? Bang down her door and drag her out?”

“Yes, if that’s what it takes!”

“Oh, that’ll fix everything. Great plan, hyung.”

Before Changbin could say anything too drastic to take back, Han cut in. “Boys. By all means, please, continue yelling. I think the neighbours three floors down didn’t hear you yet.”

“Shut up, Han,” both of them snapped at once.

Han lifted his hands innocently. “Just saying. If we’re gonna implode, might as well do it dramatically.”

Seungmin rubbed his temples. Changbin paced furiously in a tiny loop like he wanted to punch the wall but was too controlled to actually do it. Minho looked ready to throw something or someone through a wall — preferably Chan, if he had his pick.

And then, from the corner, Hyunjin stood up.

No warning. No dramatic sigh. Just quietly moved from the couch, padded down the hallway, and slipped into the same room Chan had vanished into moments ago.

“Where are you going?” Minho asked, voice sharp.

“Someone has to talk to him,” Hyunjin muttered. “And you clearly shouldn’t.”

Minho cursed again — loud and creative.

“Sure. Great. Just go in there and play therapist while we rot out here.”

Hyunjin didn’t respond.

The door clicked shut behind him too and the dorm fell into uneasy silence.

Until the front door opened, and Felix and Jeongin stepped in, arms full of plastic bags.

“Hey, we got everything—” Felix began, then froze when he saw their faces. “Wait. Did something happen?”

“Did she come out?” Jeongin asked quickly, already heading toward Iseul’s door. “Did anyone talk to her?”

Seungmin shook his head. “Chan tried. Didn’t end well.”

Felix’s face fell. Jeongin looked down at the yogurt in his hands like it had failed him personally.

He didn’t give up.

He stood outside Iseul’s door and knocked gently. “Noona? It’s me. I got the yogurt you like — the passionfruit one. And the strawberry one, too. Lix hyung even got the XL ramen, the spicy ones…”

No response.

“Come on,” he pleaded, voice trembling slightly. “Please just open the door. You don’t even have to talk. Just… just don’t hide.”

Nothing.

“I don’t like when you’re sad. It makes everyone weird.” His voice cracked. “It makes me weird.”

Still nothing.

Felix stepped in then, placing a comforting hand on Jeongin’s back before kneeling in front of the door.

“Iseul,” he said softly. “We know you’re upset. It’s okay. You don’t have to explain anything right now. But… we’re here. All of us. Whenever you’re ready.”

On the other side of the door, she heard every word.

The soft knock. The tremble in Jeongin’s voice. The familiar warmth in Felix’s.

It hurt.

It hurt so much she thought she might choke on it.

Then came Seungmin.

“Alright, fine,” he said, louder now. “If you don’t open this door, I will post those ugly pictures I took of you last week. The one with your hair sticking out like a cactus and that neon green sheet mask—yeah, that one.”

No reaction.

“Y/N,” Minho barked, tired and impatient, “open the fucking door. I swear, if you make me do some emotional shit, I’ll pretend to cry so hard you’ll start comforting me.”

Still nothing.

Jeongin looked like he might cry for real.

Changbin exhaled and rolled his shoulders like he was warming up for something serious.

“…Is he about to sing?” Han asked, amused and horrified.

A beat of silence.

Then — in a tragic falsetto — “I love you baBBYYYYY AND IF IT’S QUITE ALRIGHT-”

Han’s snort echoed off the hallway walls.

“Hyung, no—please, you are going to get us evicted.”

Still no sound.

Felix set the yogurt down beside the door.

And then, with a soft sigh, he leaned forward and rested his forehead against it. “Iseul-ah, come out when you’re hungry, yeah? You don’t even have to talk to us but please don’t starve to death.”

He didn’t wait for a reply.

None of them did.

They just sat down near the hallway, some leaning against walls, others quietly checking their phones or staring at nothing, waiting in their own way

Inside the room, Iseul heard everything.

The knocks. The voices. The jokes, the threats, the warmth behind all of it.

And she didn’t move.

She pressed her forehead against her knees, fists clenched tight in the blanket pooled around her.

They were trying so hard.

And all she was doing was hiding. Making it worse. Hurting people who’d done nothing but try to help.

The anger that had surged through her — the fury at being seen, at being pitied — had evaporated the moment Chan walked out and closed the door behind him. She’d expected to feel satisfied, powerful even, like she’d claimed space for herself for once.

But instead, guilt settled in her chest like a stone. Guilt and something darker curling low.

Shame.

Her hands trembled.

She hadn’t meant to lash out. Not really. But now they were all bleeding for her anger — carrying it like it was their own. Arguing, worrying, breaking apart because she didn’t know how to say “I’m scared.”

And worse than the guilt — worse than the ache — was the sick, selfish voice in her head that whispered that she was right. That she had every reason to feel the way she did. That they didn’t see her, didn’t really understand how hard this was.

But another part — the louder one — wanted to crawl out of her own skin.

Wanted to go back in time. To un-throw the phone. To un-snap at Chan. To undo everything.

Because they didn’t deserve that.

Not Minho with his threats. Not Seungmin with his smug, cursed photos. Not Jeongin’s yogurt bag or Felix’s quiet efforts to cheer her up. Nor Changbin’s wrong notes or Han’s stupid jokes.

And definitely not Chan.

She hated it. Hated that bitter little thought more than anything else. Because it wasn’t fair. They were hurting too. They were victims too. Just trying their best, same as her.

But she needed someone to blame.

She needed it not to be her fault.

She pressed her palms hard against her eyes, like she could shut the thoughts out. Like she could force herself to stop unraveling.

But the guilt was too loud now – flooding her until it felt hard to breathe.

She wanted to go out there. Fall to her knees and beg them all to forgive her. To tell them she hadn’t meant it. That she was just tired and scared and needed someone to blame.

But if she stepped out now, she wasn’t sure if she’d cry or scream.

And worse — she wasn’t sure if she deserved their comfort.

So Iseul stayed there, curled up in the dark, drowning in her thoughts.

TAGLIST: @leewritesstuff, @athens-09xx, @allenajade-ite, @idjdndjzbsdm, @idjdndjzbsdm, @hyuneskkami, @geni-627, @valkirymin, @miminbin, @tillaboo, @dreamerwasfound, @youthsquaredd, @skzstannie, @nchhuhi, @rtyuy1346, @necrozica, @aemondsrhaenyra, @skzfangirl143, @eridanuswave, @enhacolor

Hey! Sorry no story hint this time - this chapter was kinda rushed lol Comment down below what u thought abt this haha oh ALSO i wanna do smtg for hitting 200 followers so pls pls pls fill my inbox w requests and I'll try to write them out hahaha also attached below is a snippet of the new story im kinda working on - its gonna be small only 2 to 3 parts cause i dont have the courage nor energy to commit to another series apart from UNPLUGGED, so yea comment if yer interested and i'll add u in the taglist once i drop it hehe (ik ik self promotion but eh girls gotta do what girls do)

(It's non!idolchanxbsf!femoc and full blown angst sorta btw 👀) anw stay safe! ~candy \(￣︶￣*\))

[firestormburningflames]

@a-den-of-demons

"You know Weiss, I think you need some time away from the stress of running a major company, or perhaps a distraction."

Suggested Dash as he put on some dance music to play in the living room of Schnee Manor, after which, the android would hold out his hand to Weiss, trying to play Mr. Seductive.

"May I have this dance, my dear wife?"

[coridallasmultipass]

It took me, ugh, MONTHS (2), to get to cleaning the two shrimp tanks I have... I had IRL issues going on that would have made it extremely difficult to do a water change especially while injured, and I just had to keep putting it off. It's just shrimp, so it wasn't like, the worst situation, especially since I have established plants and the tanks are a couple years old. There was just a lot of algae build-up on the glass, and, well... Let me just say it was not contributing to my mental health and well-being while the tanks were in that state.

I tested the water before I started cleaning and the parameters were fine (like, I could have left the tanks even longer if I would be okay with selling my soul to the Algae Collective), and the plants and shrimp look fine, too (I mean, I've obviously been keeping an eye on the tanks bc I sit right next to them). Actually, I'd wager to say that the plants are looking really great (the lilies haven't died off [yet? This is the longest period of time I've seen them stay... foliage... fol... foliated? Idk.] and the cryptocoryne in the 10gal is fucking huge and needs to be rearranged, just not right now). That fucking algae was a motherfucker to get off the 10gal (it's a plastic tank and I think that makes the algae grip harder than the glass 5gal).

[Also, fyi, depending on the tank's needs and stability, recommended water changes are a small one every week or every other week. My parameters don't seem to do anything dramatic, so I usually aim for a 20-30% water change every third week (just depends on how much vacuuming needs to be done and how cooperative the shrimp are with moving aside). So 2 months is still a lot. I still did the normal 30% ish amount, since doing more will risk the shrimp's well-being if there's a sudden change in everything, and my water parameters indicated a change was unnecessary - but I don't test for more than the minimum freshwater tests, so there could be a buildup of some mineral I'm not testing for, which is why the change IS actually necessary regardless of what my test kit says - because these tanks were evaporating a lot in summer, it condenses the minerals added with each water addition, even tho I usually top up with R.O. water.]

My back is fucking killing me lol. It has been killing me since spring when it 'went out' for the first time, and I'm not getting any relief, it sucks. But this had to be done.

The 5gal is looking pretty cloudy still, since the filter was super gunked up and I accidentally spilled gunk back in, so I may need to retest the 5gal parameters tomorrow just to make sure I don't have to do another water change, but it'll probably be fine, right? Shrimp love mulm and detritus. I did give both tanks a big ole algae tab for their trouble, tho. (I need a fuckening dish for the big tank. I really wanna clean off that white quartz rock again, but being white means it's an algae magnet, and it's just gonna go green again after a month or two.)

Anyway, shrimp tax:

I lov thees widdle oange bebies.

Wish I could take better pictures rn, but I am. Like. Dying. My recommendation: never live in an A-frame style room if you have the option. The wall above my tanks is slanted, and NOT fun for my back to bend underneath the wall for maintenance. (My only flat wall in the room is for my TV/PC.) Also, treat your back nicely, in general. I unfortunately have not had the option to treat my back nicely since spring (fall now), because 'when it rains it pours,' and heavy shit that needs to be moved will not move itself. Once I get a few more things in my room in order, I will hopefully be done with the IRL chaos, bc I have Halloween socks to knit, and I'm not putting that off for another year. (I'm still mad that I couldn't make the ones I planned last year. And I found more Halloween yarn I forgot I bought, so I'm gonna try to make multiple socks.) And I just really need to fucking chill and knit and stop having panic attacks and meltdowns.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Today, Prime Video announced that it has confirmed that the global, fan-favorite series Good Omens will return for a third and final season. They have confirmed, as follows:

• The third season will comprise of one 90 minute episode starring Michael Sheen and David Tennant who return as the angel Aziraphale and demon Crowley, respectively. • Prime Video is delighted to bring its global customers a gripping conclusion to the ineffable journey between Aziraphale and Crowley. • Production is expected to begin in early 2025 in Scotland and the third season will premiere on Prime Video in more than 240 countries and territories worldwide. • The forthcoming season will bring to life a serendipitous conversation from almost 35 years ago, between the late Sir Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, where they mapped out “what happens next” to the wonderful characters in the world of their internationally best-selling novel. • The first season of Good Omens launched globally as a limited series on Prime Video in May 2019, and became a worldwide hit. This led to the series being renewed for a second season, which premiered in July 2023, and explored storylines that went beyond the original source material to illuminate the ineffable friendship between Aziraphale (Michael Sheen), a fussy angel and rare-book dealer, and the fast-living demon Crowley (David Tennant). • Rob Wilkins of Narrativia, representing Terry Pratchett’s estate, as well as BBC Studios Productions’ head of comedy Josh Cole will executive produce. Good Omens is based on the well-loved novel Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch by Sir Terry Pratchett and Gaiman. The new season is produced by Amazon MGM Studios, BBC Studios Productions, and Narrativia. • While Gaiman has contributed to the writing of the Good Omens series finale, he will not be working on the production.

my musings:

Shouldn't it have been a series of six episodes?

It should have yeah. It should have been 6 episodes so the seasons would make 666, now it's 661.

Is Neil Gaiman involved?

According to the press he will not be working on it as such though he "contributed to the writing", I mean the third season is based on what he and Terry had outlined together and he started to write into the scripts so I guess it couldn't be done without?

Tell me some good news

uuuuh, *racks my brain*

It is not cancelled completely (like OFMD for example :(), so we still might get the cottage?

Since there will be less of it then there will also be less post production and we might get it sooner?

Ta-da. (sorry)

And

[skullsfiction]

head over heels | cl16 mv1 op81

charles leclerc, oscar piastri, max verstappen x reader

a ferrari driver, a mclaren driver, and a redbull driver all interested in the same girl…this won’t end well.

notes: i decided to make this a series! now should i make this poly?…

liked by patriciooward, redbullracing, user1, and 43,917 others!

yourusername: what a better place to have your first day then good ol’ texas! formula one here i come 🤠

view comments below!

user2: omg i totally forgot you are going to start interviewing for f1

user3: DUDE ME TOO

user4: im so excited!! i hope she does challenges like she did with indycar

patriciooward: what a coincidence! i just happen to be in texas too!!

yourusername; you followed me here, stalker 😣

patriciooward: LIES! i am here for a JOB

yourusername: well so am I

patriciooward: YOU ALWAYS COPY ME

user5: indycar, i will never forgive you for separating these too

indycar: come back to us 🥹

user6: YOU FIRED HER???

user7: first you fire her because she asked for a raise AND THEN you get in her comment section talking about ‘come back’ yall are SICK

user8: SHE DIDNT EVEN ASK FOR A RAISE!! she was offered more by f1 and instead of fighting back, indycar just decided to fire her??? like???

user9: companies will always prove that they do not gaf about you

liked by yourusername

user10: wtv, yn onto BIGGER and BETTER things

user11: when are you going to start posting on youtube again? 😣 we miss you :(

yourusername: sooner then you think!!

user12: you fit in with the texans so well

user13: yeehaw! 🤠

user14: congratulations on the new job!! i hope your first day goes well :))

user15: first days always make me so nervous

liked by user16, and 81,720 others!

kymillman: formula one driver down!

a mere seconds after this photo was taken, charles leclerc took a tumble on the texas pavement, following a tiny interaction with a new worker here on the track 😉 landing face first and awkwardly trying to play it off.

he is okay! just a bruised ego

view comments below!

user17: this is embarrassing, even for charles

user18: when i’m in a who can embarrass themselves more contest, but charles is already there

user19: IN FRONT OF A PRETTY GIRL TOO?? no you’d never see my face again

user20: it was BECAUSE of the pretty girl 😭 she smiled at him and suddenly was on the ground

user21: that’s humiliating

user22: i keep watching the video…why do his legs just like, give out?

user23: THERES A VIDEO?

user24: ig being a f1 driver doesn’t give you game

user25: this means max is going to win come sunday

user26: okay grandpa…how about we get you back to bed?

user27: i need yns reaction to this

user28: i think the worst part is that she didn’t even notice he fell…

user29: pls tell me your joking

user30: no 😭 she just walked away and didn’t spare him a single glance

user31: i needed this today…thank you

user32: i love to see the ferrari fall

user32: no pun intended

user33: the video just gave me the biggest second hand embarrassment

user32: i actually cringed into myself.

user33: it’s him getting up and looking around to see if anyone saw that gets me

user34: i hope this gets brought up multiple times during the weekend

liked by user34, and 491,017 others!

maxvertappen1: feels good to be back on the top step in the sprint 💪 onwards to qualifying, let's keep pushing @:redbullracing 👊

view comments below!

user36: are you not ashamed? are you not embarrassed?

user37: have you no shame, max?

user38: guys i’m so confused

user39: this weekend has been so crazy

user40: what’s going on?

user46: your cardboard cut out is sleeping on the couch tonight.

user43: GUYS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. I FEEL LEFT OUT AND I DO NOT LIKE IT.

user44: max was flirting with an interviewer today.

user43: WHAT

user45: was he flirting? or was he just being nice and yall are making it a big deal 🙄

user44: when the interview was over he stayed in his spot staring at the woman until she gave him attention and then asked her if she was new.

user44: she said yes and asked if it was that obvious. he said, “to me, yes.” AND THEN blushed when the interviewer reminded him that she did in fact have others to interview

user44: AND THEN, told her, “if you need any help around the paddock, let me know.”

user45: okay so maybe he was flirting 🙄

user46; what’s the big deal guys? let max get some with out you guys embarrassing him!

user48: HES embarrassing HIMSELF. does he not have decorum? self respect?

user49: okay but was the interviewer into it??

liked by user50, landonorris, and 14,926 others!

f1gossip: as austin comes to an end, i would like to reminisce that these three men, managed to flirt with the same girl (an interviewer, as a matter of fact), in a span of three days. do they know they are flirting with the same girl? are they into that? or is this all just a hilarious incident?

view comments below!

user51: this is the funniest thing to happen all weekend

user52: i see max and charles doing this, but OSCAR??

user53: yns following went up by 20k

user54: I WAS THERE WHEN SHS WAS AT LESS THEN 4k, SHE BETTER NOT FORGET ME!!!

user55: people still don’t even know who she is 😖 they keep calling her ‘the interviewer’

user56: i hope she doesn’t get hate for this…

user57; to be fair oscar could’ve just been being nice?? like taking a photo for someone doesn’t mean you’re into them

user58: i could not survive as an f1 driver

user59: like imagine your just tryna flirt with a girl, and suddenly it’s all over the internet of how embarrassingly you failed (max)

user60: it’s yns first race and this is how it goes??

user61: that interviewer is soo lucky

user62: okay but if you were the interviewer, who would you pick?

user63: max

user64: oscar 100000%

user65: charles, are you guys crazy?

user66: lando

user67: that wasn’t a option?…

user66: i don’t care

user67: has nobody realized that lando liked this 😭?

oscarpiastri has followed yourusername!

charles_leclerc has followed yourusername!

maxvertaappen1 has followed yourusername!

[andvys]

the edges of your soul (i haven’t seen yet) ⭐︎ chapter nine

⭐︎ Pull the trigger on the gun I gave you when we met

warnings: fluff, post apocalypse au, alcohol consumption, drinking game, mentions of sex, mentions of masturbation, mention of virginity, hurt/no comfort (i guess?), angst, sunshine x grumpy, jealousy jealousy jealousy

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: during a game of never have i ever you find out things you weren’t prepared for

word count: 9k+

authors note: i wrote this part in two days, that’s how excited i was to write it hehe. shoutout to @hellfire--cult as always 🤍 we came up with this chapter months ago and now it’s finally here! roe added the last bit aka THE PAINFUL ONE! I am so excited for the upcoming chapters hehe

series masterlist ⭐︎ previous chapter

☀︎

The air is crisp. The wind is cold and harsher now than it was a few weeks ago. The first snow started falling about a week ago, making the journey a lot harder and slower, which isn’t in your favor at all. You want to go home sooner rather than later. You have already lost so much time, when you were alone and even now too. Your sickness slowed you down, slowed them down. 

You are much better now. The fever had gone down five days into your antibiotic treatment. Your cough is still there, not as strongly as it was before but it’s there. On top of that, you don’t perform as well as you used to before the sickness. You get tired quickly, your muscles get sore and you struggle to breathe. 

Nancy told you that it’s normal, that it might take a longer while for you to recover fully. Her brother Mike suffered for nearly two months after falling sick with pneumonia, carrying an inhaler with him at all times, just like you do too, now. 

It frustrates you a little, because now they all watch you like hawks to make sure that you are not moving around too much. You are not allowed to go on runs or scavenge areas, at least not until you’re healthy again. Steve is scavenging with Eddie now mostly, but today Nancy joined him instead, leaving you and Eddie to stand guard on the snowy parking lot. 

You don’t mind. You like spending time alone with Eddie, but you want to do something. Not being able to help is driving you crazy. 

You play with the hair tie around your wrist, the one that Steve left on you, the one you haven’t taken off yet because he told you to keep it when you tried to give it back. You didn’t question where he got it or whose it was. You have a hunch. 

“Fucking Nebraska.” Eddie murmurs as he leans against the side of the RV, looking up into the grey sky. 

“What’s wrong with Nebraska?” You ask, chuckling. 

Eddie shrugs at you, raising his axe, and he points all around at the snow. “That.” 

“Nebraska isn’t the only state that’s covered in snow right now, Eddie.” You smile in amusement. You rub your glove covered hands together as you turn your body towards him. 

He narrows his eyes at you, sighing loudly. 

“Yeah well, we should have been in uh… Wyoming, Idaho or freaking Utah by now but instead we’re stuck in this godforsaken state. I swear it’s only gonna bring us bad luck.” 

You furrow your eyebrows and giggle at him, shaking your head. 

“This state is really on your most hated list, huh?” 

Eddie scoffs as he turns to face you. His cheeks are red, his nose is too. His bottom lip is trembling from the cold. A few snowflakes adorn his curls. 

“Yup.” 

“Well… if it makes you feel any better… It took me a year to get to Indiana from New York,” you admit, shrugging. “Something always gets in the way. Just like now, if it isn’t the blocked roads then it’s the time we use for scavenging. If it isn’t that, then it’s the time we spend looking for gas… and if it isn’t that then… It's a sickness.” You sigh, looking down at your feet as you kick the snow on the ground. 

Eddie’s eyes soften. Sympathy flashes in them. You felt guilty for falling sick, for slowing them down, for being a ‘burden’ as you had called yourself. He felt a little angry for the way you talked about yourself, for the way you thought you had to apologize for not feeling well.  

A soft huff falls from his lips as he bumps his shoulder into yours. He reaches for your hand and gives it a tight squeeze. 

“Sweetheart, if you mention that one more time… I swear to Ozzy I will eat all your Kitkat’s.” 

Your dimples show when your lips curl into a smile. You shake your head at him, looking back into his eyes with a mean look on your face. You raise your hand up and point your finger at him. 

“Not my Kitkat’s.” You threaten, making him chuckle. 

Eddie grins at you. 

“Stop feeling guilty and I won’t steal your candy, Sweets. It’s simple.” He shrugs. 

You roll your eyes at him and he gasps at that, looking at you offended. He throws his hand to his chest and leans back. 

“Did you just roll your eyes at me, Sunshine?” He asks shocked, using the nickname Steve calls you by. 

You shake your head at his act, giggling at his dramatics. You lean down and sink your hand into the snow, scooping some up into your hand. You move back up, smirking evilly at him before you throw it at his face. 

“You’re such a dork, Eddie Munson.” 

Another louder gasp falls from his lips when the coldness hits his skin and he stares at you bewildered. He brings his hand up to his face and wipes away the snow that is now stuck to his skin. 

You are slowly backing away, eyes glinting with amusement as you giggle loudly. 

“You did not just…” He glares at you, taking a step towards you. “You little witch.”

Your eyes widen when he leans down and scoops some snow onto his palm before he charges at you. A squeal falls from your lips as you turn around quickly, trying to run from him. 

“Oh, now you’re trying to run?” Eddie chuckles loudly behind you. “Don’t you wanna finish this little snowball fight?” 

“Nope!” You giggle loudly, hoping that Steve won’t come out of the store and catch you and Eddie running around like little kids. 

“Come here!” 

“Nuh uh!” 

You make the mistake of looking back at him, not controlling your steps like you should. Your foot catches onto ice under a layer of snow and you suddenly lose your balance, slipping on the ice with both feet. You try to steady yourself but to no avail, you are falling. Though you don’t feel the rough concrete underneath you like you were expecting. Instead you fall on something soft… well, softer than the concrete would have felt. 

“Oof…”

Only when you’re on the ground and you feel the arms around your waist and your head protected against a chest, do you realize that you didn’t fall on the ground because Eddie caught you and you landed on top of him instead while he took the fall for you both. 

“Ow…” He murmurs underneath you, grunting at the pain in his back. 

“Oh my god,” you mumble as the shock wears off and you quickly turn around to face him, not getting up just yet. Your eyes are wide and your face is serious, at least until you look at him and all the snow in his hair. 

You stare at each other in silence, breathing heavily. His lip twitches first and then yours follows suit. His eyes flash with amusement and before you know it, you both burst into laughter.

Tension falls off your shoulders. Tension you didn’t realize you even had. But this feels good, you can’t remember the last time you laughed. Especially like this, to the point of tears. 

“Goddamn, you’re a klutz,” Eddie laughs as he leans his head back into the snow, not caring anymore at this point. 

You shake your head, unable to stop the laughter that keeps falling from your lips. 

Eddie lets go of your waist and brings his hand up to your back, patting it softly. 

“Are you okay?” 

You bring your hand up to your face, wiping away the stray tear that escaped from your eyes. You nod at his question. 

“I had a safe fall,” you giggle before it gets cut off by a cough.

Eddie continues to pat your back. He presses his palm against the snowy ground and pushes himself up into a seating position, grunting a bit. You turn away from him and cough into your elbow, clenching your eyes shut. 

“Shit, Sweets.” He mumbles. “Do you need your inhaler?” 

You shake your head at him. Once you calm down, you press your hand against your chest and turn back to face him. Your eyes are a little glassy from all the coughing. 

Eddie’s eyes soften, he gives you a tight lipped smile as he pats your back one last time. 

“No laughing for you anymore, young lady.” He gives you a pointed look. 

You snort and roll your eyes. 

“Hey guys, we–” Steve halts in his tracks suddenly when he finds you on the ground with Eddie. His face falls and his eyes flash with confusion when he takes in the position you’re in – Eddie is sitting up on the ground while you are on top of him, in his lap. By the look on Eddie’s state, he knows you both must have slipped and fallen but how did you get to that point in the first place? And why is Eddie’s arm around your waist? 

He clenches his jaw without realizing it. The sourness inside of him spreads quickly, burning in his chest and taking over his whole body. He clenches his fists around the basket he is holding, gripping it so tightly that his knuckles turn white. He stares at Eddie’s hand and how he places it on your hip. Eyes burning with anger. 

Steve doesn’t like this and he doesn’t even realize why. 

Your head snaps towards Steve and you frown at the look on his face. Before you even begin to question it, your eyes fall on the basket he is holding and curiosity gets the best of you. You carefully get off Eddie and place your feet back on the ground, accepting his hand that he offers to you. 

Steve’s eyebrows knit together strongly and the fire in him spreads further and up to his face, causing his cheeks to redden. 

You don’t notice but Eddie does, especially when he catches Steve watching how you help him up. How you remove the snow from his jacket and his cheek, making sure that he is clean again before you make your way towards him. 

Eddie raises his eyebrows in surprise, seeing the glare that is directed at him, the murderous gaze. If looks could kill, he would drop dead by now. If he didn’t consider Steve to be one of his best friends, he would have feared him right now. But Eddie only feels smugness and amusement. 

If jealousy had a name, it would be Steve Harrington. 

Eddie’s lip curls into a smirk, and he snickers under his breath. 

“This is too good,” he murmurs under his breath. He is gonna tease him. Oh yeah. He is gonna enjoy this one. 

“What’d you find?” You ask cheerfully as you make your way towards him, smiling brightly already. 

Steve looks away from Eddie and down at you. His eyes instantly soften when they meet yours. The sourness remains in his chest but something else spreads even quicker… warmth. 

You grab the edge of the basket with both hands and peek inside. Your smile falls and your eyes widen. A gasp of excitement falls from your lips when you catch sight of the knitted scarf. 

You look up at him, mustering up your best puppy eyes. 

“Can I have that one?” You plead. 

Steve’s heart skips a beat at the look on your face. Those eyes. He feels his knees falling weak every time you look at him like this. 

He swallows the growing lump in his throat and he nods. 

He almost wants to laugh at your question though. He spent fifteen minutes picking out a scarf for you. He didn’t want just any one. He grabbed the pink one at first before he caught sight of this one. He was unaware of Nancy’s smug face. 

“I picked it out for you.” He mumbles, lip curling upwards when your wide eyes meet his again. 

“You did!?” You nearly squeal as you grab it from the basket, jumping on your feet slightly as you wrap it around yourself. 

Steve’s eyes sparkle as he takes in the pure happiness on your features, all because of a pastel yellow colored scarf. 

“How’d you know this was my favorite color?” You ask, feeling the fluttering of your heart so strongly at this moment, especially when you look into his hazel eyes. 

Steve feels caught and he sinks into himself a little. Heat creeps up to his cheeks and he grows flustered… embarrassed. He clears his throat, shifting from one foot to another. 

He clears his throat, wanting to punch Eddie now more than ever as he catches sight of the smug bastard in the back. 

“I honestly didn’t know… I– I just… remembered you said you had a sunflower field behind your house, so I thought…” he trails off and looks back down into your eyes. They are sparkling for him. Your smile is wider than it was in weeks. You’re happy. “Good to know, though…”

Your heart skips a beat, and your stomach flutters wildly. He remembered your sunflower field? You told him that in the very beginning, when he didn’t even talk back much, when you just rambled his ear off. You didn’t even think he listened to you, let alone remember what you talked about to him. 

“Thank you so much, Stevie!” You smile widely as you take a step closer to him. You rise to your tippy toes and grab onto his shoulder as you press your lips to his cheek, pecking it softly. 

Steve freezes. He tenses up. Not because he didn’t like it but because he did. He liked it. He liked the feeling of your lips on his skin. A little too much. 

You pull away and brush past him when you notice Nancy coming out of the store, carrying two bags. You leave him standing with glowing cheeks. 

The need to escape takes over and despite feeling like his feet are glued to the ground, he forces himself to make his way towards the RV, ignoring the racing in his chest. 

He walks past Eddie but not without sending a glare towards him. He reaches into the basket, and picks out the grey beanie, throwing it at the metalhead without a single word. 

Eddie catches it before it hits him in the face. A loud snicker falls from his mouth when he realizes why Steve is so salty and why his cheeks are like the color of a ripe tomato. He follows him. Of course he does. Eddie sees the perfect opportunity. 

“Thanks for that, man.” Eddie holds up the beanie. 

“Yeah, you’re welcome.” Steve grumbles under his breath. He throws the door open to the RV and steps inside. Dropping the basket on the table, he starts taking out the cans of food he found and starts stacking them up in the cabinets. 

Eddie leans against the wall and crosses his arms over his chest. 

“What were you two doing out there?” Steve asks after two minutes of silence. 

“Had a little snowball fight.” That is an exaggeration, and he knows it, but he wants to see Steve’s reaction. “And then we fell.” 

Eddie can’t see his face. Steve’s back is turned to him as he fills up the cabinets. Though he can see how he tenses up and falters a little. 

“Right…” Steve scoffs. “She fell on your lap?” 

There it is. Eddie is surprised; that was quick. 

He doesn’t bother hiding his snickering. He pushes himself off the wall and moves up beside him, tilting his head at the former jock. He smiles smugly when he sees the clenched jaw. 

“Is that jealousy, Big Boy?” 

Steve narrows his eyes at him. He grips the edges of the counter and slowly turns to face him. 

“I’m just…–”

“You’re just what, Steve? Jealous?” Eddie cackles, enjoying this far more than he should. He raises his hand up and places it on Steve’s chest, patting it roughly. “Don’t worry, man. She is all yours, I promise.” 

Steve huffs and he shakes his head, opening his mouth to speak. 

“Yellow is her favorite color huh? I didn’t know that. You didn’t either, she didn’t even tell you–”

“Stop.” Steve sighs. He brings his hand up to his face and pinches the bridge of his nose. The tension in his shoulders rises when he realizes the weight of Eddie’s words. Deep down he knows he is right, he knows it. He doesn’t want to acknowledge it. He doesn’t want to think about it. He doesn’t want to admit it. He fears it. He can’t have those feelings. He can’t allow himself to care more than he does right now. He knows where this will end – how it almost ended a few weeks ago. If he allows these feelings, if he lets them out only for something to happen… he will never recover. 

The smug look on Eddie’s face falls when he realizes the seriousness of this situation as he reads the look on his face. 

Steve is holding back. He is holding back out of fear, not realizing that this could potentially make everything so much worse. 

“Steve…” Eddie sighs as his hand moves to grip his shoulder. “I know what you’re trying to do here–”

“Don’t.” Steve warns him. Like he doesn’t want to hear it, like he doesn’t want to even consider his words. “Just don’t, Munson.” 

He couldn’t even finish the sentence. He couldn’t even utter a single word and it frustrated him a little but he also understands it. 

“Fine…” Eddie sighs, and he lets his hand fall back to his side. 

Steve takes a deep breath. He runs his fingers through the mess of his head. His hair got so long in the past few months. The past self of him would be mortified at the sight of him now. 

Steve glances at Eddie. He can’t stand the sympathetic look in his dark eyes. He doesn’t want to be pitied. 

“You know what you need–”

Steve rolls his eyes and he pulls back, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“I said don’t–”

“Hear me out, will you?” Eddie mumbles in annoyance. He rolls his eyes back at him and turns around, opening the cabinet where you have put all the special things. He reaches for the bottle. A grin spreads on his face before he turns around. He holds it up with a wiggle of his brows. 

Steve shakes his head, “nope.”

“Oh yeah.” Eddie nods and by the look of his determined face, Steve knows he will lose this argument. “You gotta let loose a little. Swallow those feelings down with a little help of my former best friend.” Eddie grins at the whiskey bottle. 

Steve sighs. 

“We’ll play a little drinking game… and who knows, maybe we’ll find out some dirty truths from your girl's past.” Eddie cackles. 

“She’s not my–”

The door bursts open and you come rushing in, carrying one of the bags you grabbed off Nancy’s shoulder. You halt in your tracks and look between them. The frustrated gaze in Steve’s eyes and the excited one in Eddie’s tells you everything you need to know. 

Nancy comes stumbling in behind you. 

Eddie turns towards you, smirking at the two of you as he holds up the whiskey bottle. 

“Wanna play a game?” 

-

The fire keeps you brittle warm, allowing your cheeks to burn a little. The cold doesn’t even touch you right now, you’re so close to the heat. The bowl of soup is warm in your hands. You keep glancing towards Steve as you watch him eat. 

Eddie is rambling his ear off about DnD, something Steve couldn’t care less about. He keeps humming and grumbling in response. 

Nancy had already finished her dinner. She is rubbing her hands over the fire, warming herself up. 

You found a little hidden spot, behind trees and ruins, allowing you to let the flames burn higher than usual. Allowing you to feel a little more comfortable. You did a perimeter check with Steve before dinner, and he demanded to do it slowly for you, and this area seemed pretty safe and clean. 

“So… how about some good ‘ol never have I ever?” Eddie smirks as he picks up the bottle of whiskey he carried outside before. 

Your eyes light up. The urge to let loose, even if just for one night, for a few hours is so big. You nod at him, putting your now empty bowl on the ground beside your feet. 

“Yes, please!” 

Nancy chuckles at the enthusiastic smile on your face. Eddie’s eyes lock with hers and she shrugs at him, mumbling “sure.” 

Eddie grins at her, knowing she wouldn’t have given in so easily in the past. She sure has changed. 

He looks at Steve last to find him staring at you. Eddie knows that he is curious, it’s in his eyes. 

“I’m not drinking—“

“Oh come on!” Eddie groans, throwing his head back.

“If I am willing to drink then you gotta do it too, Steve!” Nancy says, shrugging at him. 

“Someone’s gotta stay sober.”

“Not like we’re gonna get blackout drunk, man. Besides the area is safe—“

Steve sighs, shaking his head. “You can never know.”

“Steve…” You sigh, pulling the attention on you. You tilt your head to the side, pouting at him. “Please…”

Steve huffs softly. 

Your features, your skin, your hair look so soft in this light. The golden flames make you look even more beautiful. Something flutters in his chest when you bat your eyelashes at him. 

He breathes in shakily, and by the way Eddie snickered beside him, he knows he heard it. 

Steve clears his throat as he shakes his head. 

“You’re not drinking either, Sunshine. You’re still coming down from your sickness and you’re still on pain meds.” He says sternly. 

Now your frown and your pout deepens. Your stomach sinks a little and the excitement wears off instantly. 

“Oh… right.” You whisper. 

Steve watches the way your face falls and your shoulders slump. A saddening look flashes in your features. He is surprised to see you giving up so easily, he expected you to put up a bit of a fight. 

“Shit,” Eddie murmurs. He didn't think about it either. 

You sigh deeply. You look between all of them and straighten your back again. 

“You can still play!” 

Steve can’t help but feel a twinge of guilt bubbling up inside of him. He saw how excited you were when Eddie suggested the game. 

“Hold on,” Steve mumbles as he pushes himself up from his seat. He disappears into the RV, making you all frown in confusion. You hear some rustling, some cans moving around before he comes out again, holding a can of Dr. Pepper in his hand. He makes his way to you, lips curling into a small smile. He holds it out for you. “I know it’s not the same but… you– we can still play.” 

You stare at the red soda can in his hand. Your soft eyes light up as you look up at him. 

His throat bobs when he swallows nervously. His heart skips yet another beat as he looks down into your eyes. 

Steve couldn’t care less about the game. If it wasn’t for you, he would call it a day and go to sleep. 

“Yeah,” he whispers softly. 

You are both unaware of the eye contact Nancy and Eddie are holding. To the looks on their faces and of the mischief crossing Eddie’s face as he grabs the plastic cups he had already prepared before. He unscrews the lid and pours the whiskey. 

“Thank you,” you whisper as you take the soda from Steve’s hands. Blush rises to your cheeks and your hand warms even more when your fingers brush against his own. 

Steve only smiles at you before he makes his way back to his seat. He curls his fingers into his hand, clenching it tightly as he still feels the mark of your touch. A sigh leaves his mouth when he sinks back into his camping chair. 

Eddie holds the cup out to him, and Steve only accepts it reluctantly. 

“Don’t think too much,” Eddie says to him. “It’s gonna be good for you, trust me.” 

“If you say so.” Steve snorts as he accepts the cup. He can’t remember the last time he even smelled alcohol. 

A pop sounds through the circle as you open the can. You bring your knees up to your chest and tug the blanket tighter around you, getting comfortable as giddiness rushes through your body. This reminds you of high school… only this is even better. You’re around friends. 

Eddie puts the bottle back down after handing Nancy her cup. He leans back and looks around the circle, smirking at Steve – the latter already knowing that this means nothing good. 

“So…” Eddie starts, wiggling his eyebrows. “Who’s starting?”

Steve sinks deeper into his seat, he looks down at his drink, sloshing it around in the cup. 

“Never have I ever played DnD.” Nancy says, making both you and Steve chuckle. 

Eddie raises his eyebrows at her, tilting his head as he brings the cup up to his lips. 

“You’re doing me a favor here, Wheeler.” 

Before he can even down the drink like he had planned to do, Steve leans forward and grabs Eddie’s wrist, “hold on. You ain’t downing that drink. We’re not in high school going home safe after. Doesn’t matter how safe this area seems to you, we’re still in the middle of nowhere… during the goddamn end of the world. We’re taking sips, not shots.” 

Steve’s face is stern as he lectures Eddie, who looks like a kid getting scolded by his father. 

You can’t help but giggle. 

“Okay, dad.” Eddie mumbles with wide eyes. “Sips, not shots, got it.” 

Nancy laughs at their interaction. 

Eddie takes a sip, keeping his eyes on Steve, who watches him closely, warning him with his eyes. 

“See.” Eddie shows him the cup. “I just took a sip.” 

“Good.” Steve grumbles before he leans back into his seat. 

Eddie turns back to Nancy, grinning evilly. “Alright Wheeler. Never have I ever… gotten straight A’s in high school.” 

A groan falls from her lips, she rolls her eyes at his lame attempt at making her drink. She brings the cup up to her lips and takes a sip. 

Steve glances at you, expecting you to take a sip as well but you don’t. Your can remains propped up on your knees. 

“No A’s?” Eddie raises his brows at you. “I’m surprised.” 

You shrug. “The best I got were B’s.” 

“Something I could only ever dream of.”

Nancy rolls her eyes at him again, “you were just lazy, Eddie.” 

“Are you saying I’m smart, Nancy Wheeler?” He smirks at her. 

“I’m saying you could have been better, dumbass.” 

Eddie waves her off and looks between you and Steve, “who’s next?”

Steve shrugs and gestures to you, holding his cup. 

You blush a little when he flashes you a smile. You tug your blanket tighter to you and look back into the fire. 

“Um… never have I ever…” You pause, trying to think of something you have always wanted to do. “Gone on a picnic date…?”

Eddie sits still, not bringing the cup up to his lips. Steve is not drinking either. The three of you glance at each other before you all look towards Nancy, who is the only one to take a sip of the whiskey. She scrunches up her face at the bitter taste. 

A sullen look takes over her face and if you didn’t look close enough, you would have missed the way her eyes flashed with sadness before she took that sip. She breathes in sharply and clears her throat before she plasters a smile onto her face as she looks back to you. 

“You have never gone on a picnic date?” 

Steve glances at you too with curious eyes. 

You shake your head. You always wanted to go but no one ever asked you out. Your ex-boyfriend always told you that he wasn’t a fan of date nights – must have been because he was too busy taking other girls out. 

Steve’s chest pains a little at the saddened look on your face. 

“No, but anyways… It’s your turn, Steve!” 

Steve blinks as he stares at you, your eyes now gazing into his. His cheeks flush under the weight of your eyes. He shifts on his chair. 

“Uh…” He can’t focus when you look at him, especially with that little tilt in your head and the innocent eyes. He looks down, at the crackling wood and the golden flames. His heart skipping a little harder. This is ridiculous. “Never have I ever uh…” 

What stupid thing would Robin say? 

What silly line would escape her mouth? 

“Been arrested…?”

Eddie chuckles loudly beside him. “See for someone who doesn’t want me to get drunk, you sure are doing a bad job, Harrington.” He laughs before he takes a big sip of his whiskey. 

You gasp and lean forward, “how, when, where, why?” You ramble. 

Steve’s shoulders shake when laughter escapes him at the look on your face. The wide eyes and the dropped jaw. 

“Oh, Sweetheart…” Eddie trails off. “I got arrested several times.”

“For what!?” 

“For being an idiot!” Nancy chuckles. She witnessed it herself once, Hopper running after a handcuffed Eddie who somehow managed to escape before he was forced into the cop car. 

“Then Jonathan must’ve been an idiot too!” Eddie scoffs. “Didn’t you get arrested with him!?” 

She shakes her head at him, “nope. I just went to the station with him.” 

You don’t notice the way Steve looks away, awkwardly and tense at the current conversation. 

“Why are you all getting arrested!?” You ask, confused. 

Nancy shrugs at you. 

You glance at Steve and raise your eyebrows at him, “did you get arrested too?” 

He purses his lips and shakes his head, “nope. Always managed to get away before the cops were at the crime scene.” He jokes. 

You roll your eyes at him but chuckle softly. 

“So I’m friends with a bunch of criminals, is that it?” You joke.

“Oh yeah.” Eddie nods his head, making his curls bounce. “Bet you’re the worst of us all though.” He points his finger at you. 

You press your palm against your chest, humming. “Cold blooded killer, you said it before.” You joke, looking at him seriously. 

“Exactly.” 

The game continues and the lines get sillier as Eddie keeps refilling the cups with Whiskey. You notice how the tension in Steve’s shoulders disappears after a few bigger sips of the liquor, how the redness in his cheeks glows stronger beneath the orange hues of the campfire. Your heart flutters every time his eyes flash with amusement, with happiness. Every time his laughter echoes, you feel something in you heating up in a way it never has before. 

For a moment, the world out there is gone. It’s just the four of you, being normal people. You aren’t out here trying to survive. You aren’t out here surrounded by death. You aren’t out here barely pushing through this world. Right now, you can be a group of friends having fun… just that. And you enjoy it so much. You have never felt more welcomed than you do with them. 

Nancy’s eyes shine with tears of laughter as Eddie continues his story of the girl who threw up on his shoes when he tried flirting with her. His goal was to ask her out on a date, not realizing that she was fully drunk until it was too late. 

“God… why do you always have the lamest dating stories, Munson?” Steve laughs, blinking away his own tears. 

“That poor girl! She must have been so embarrassed!” You mumble, trying not to giggle as much. 

“Sweetheart, I threw up right after. We were both embarrassed.” 

You break into laughter again, though your face cringes in disgust at the image of it in your head. 

“Did you ever see her again, after?” Steve asks, his lips twitching as he tries to stop laughing. 

“Yeah, in the school hallway. It was awkward as hell.” Eddie admits with wide eyes. 

“God…” Nancy mumbles, amused. She leans back and tilts her head up, looking up into the sky with a lazy smile on her lips. 

“Yeah…” Eddie chuckles to himself as he looks into the fire. His finger traces the rim of his cup. 

For a moment, silence takes over. Only the crackling of the wood is heard around you. You watch the flames too, contentment filling you. 

You don’t notice his eyes on you or the way they scan your face, the way they look at you. You don’t realize that he is smiling or that his eyes are sparkling. If only you looked up. 

“Never have I ever had sex.” Eddie snorts, knowing he will make everyone drink this time. 

“Of course,” Nancy snorts and straightens up in her seat again, bringing the cup to her lip, she finishes the remains of her whiskey. 

Steve rolls his eyes as he follows suit, finishing the last bit of his drink. He turns to face you and a frown appears on his face. 

Eddie notices the look on his face when he has taken the biggest gulp of the night. 

You avoid their eyes, blushing furiously as you continue to stare into the fire. Your shoulders, your whole body is tense. Embarrassment is written all over your face. You sit still. The soda can frozen in your lap. You haven’t taken a single sip and you don’t plan on taking one as your fingers play with the loose string on your blanket. 

Steve’s eyes widen when the realization hits him. 

Oh. 

Nancy’s lips part in surprise, her eyes soften when she sees just how flustered you are. 

Eddie is the last to realize but when he does, he nearly chokes on the whiskey. He gulps down and coughs a little. Bringing his hand up to his chest as his wide eyes search for yours. 

“You… You’re a virgin, Sweetheart?” He gasps, knowing he should be approaching the topic a little more gently but he is too shocked, too intoxicated to let that rational voice in his head tell him what to do. 

Eddie is flabbergasted. 

And Steve… Steve’s eyes are filled with confusion and disbelief. His heart is pounding in his chest. How?  

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry but… how?”

Eddie asks the question that repeats itself in Steve’s mind. 

You bite your lip and look at him, avoiding Steve’s eyes. You feel too embarrassed. 

“You’re not fucking with us, are you?” Eddie squints his eyes, finding it hard to believe. 

“Nope.” 

“But… You said you had a boyfriend!” Those words come tumbling out of Steve’s mouth. 

Eddie’s and Nancy’s heads snap towards him. This is something they didn’t know about you. 

You roll your eyes and huff, “just because I had a boyfriend doesn’t mean that I slept with him. Besides… that was the exact reason why he told me I was immature… the exact reason why he cheated on me.” You mumble, looking down. 

Steve’s eyes harden at that. His chest burns with rage over that prick that was given the chance to date you only to fuck you over. 

Nancy leans forward, her protectiveness kicking in, shooting off the roof. 

“He cheated on you because you weren’t ready to sleep with him?” She scoffs, slurring her words a bit. Her blue eyes burn with anger for someone she doesn’t even know. “What– Men! Men fucking suck!” 

You smile a little. 

Eddie moves closer and pats Nancy’s back. 

“Hey, not all of us are bad,” Eddie chuckles. 

Steve looks down at his cup. His heart aches at the thought of how you felt back then. He knows your heart was crushed and you were devastated. You don’t have to tell him that for him to know. 

“I hope he died. Gruesomely. Fucked in the ass by an infected–”

You crack up at her words. The tension slips away as amusement takes over and you and Eddie start laughing loudly at her. 

Steve leans forward, he puts the empty cup down and presses his palms together, entwining his fingers. He glances at you, his eyes tracing your features while you are distracted. 

“So uh… nothing?” Eddie asks after your laughter dies down. His curiosity gets the best of him. His eyes keep glancing towards Steve to catch his reactions. 

You shake your head shyly. 

Nancy eyes you, wanting to make sure that you are comfortable talking about this. 

“No… It’s not like I don’t have the need…” You admit, surprising yourself even. But you feel safe talking about this, comfortable. Like you won’t get judged. “I mean– I had my own you know…”

Eddie raises his eyebrows, playing coy, playing dumb. 

Steve straightens up a bit, nerves growing wild inside of him as he stares at you. 

Eddie bows his head a little. “No? I know what?”

You avoid Steve’s eyes still. Heat rises to your cheeks, not from the fire but from the embarrassment inside of you. From talking about this in front of the guy you… you like. 

You blink. Tapping your fingers against your knee. 

“A helper…?”

Eddie almost bursts into laughter. He enjoys seeing you like this. He enjoys the way Steve is cracking his knuckles beside him, shifting on his chair. 

Nancy licks her lips, holding back her smile when she realizes what he is doing, when she realizes how red Steve’s cheeks are. 

Frustration bubbles up inside of you when you notice the mischief flashing in Eddie’s brown eyes. 

“For fucks sake! A vibrator! A fucking vibrator!” 

Nancy giggles loudly beside you. She is definitely gonna bring that up later. 

Steve nearly falls over. His heart almost beats out of his chest. His eyes are glued on you. Heat spreads across his whole body and before he can even stop it, images start cursing through his mind. Images of you… of you on your bed, of your hands on your body, on your bare body that he had seen already. The realization strikes that he was the first to see you like this, to touch your soft skin, to hold you. 

Suddenly his heart does more than just flutter. 

Eddie smirks at you. His shoulders shake. 

“Yeah, just wanted to make sure it was that.” 

You roll your eyes at him. 

“You fucking dick!”

Nancy and he chuckle at you, sharing amused glances. 

“Now…” You start after a moment of silence. “I don’t know if it’ll ever happen, and I regret not giving my virginity to my ex…” You admit a little shamefully. 

The three of them look at you in question. 

“Why do you say it won’t?” Steve asks. 

You chuckle softly and shrug as you look up at Steve, “look around us, Steve. It’s the end of the world… I could die tomorrow and I think it’s obvious to say that the chances of finding someone in the apocalypse are pretty scarce.” 

They all fall silent, looking at you with pity – something that you don’t want, something that you hate. 

But they notice that you are actually afflicted by it. 

Eddie narrows his eyes, shifting in his seat. He looks at Steve, noticing the way he watches you intently. A sliver of yearning in his hazel eyes. 

If he doesn’t take the chance… 

Eddie clears his throat. Licking his lips, he looks back at you. 

“Listen, if I didn’t have my sweetheart, I’d offer to make your first time the best night of your life,” he says cockily. A smirk tugging at his lips when he feels Steve’s angry eyes on him. 

You don’t even pay much attention to his comment. You nearly give yourself a whiplash by how fast you turn towards him. 

“You have a sweetheart!? Wait! Are you talking about your guitar? You showed me pictures of it and–”

“Of course not my guitar!” Eddie interrupts you, grinning. “I have my love waiting for me in California!”

Your eyes lighten up and you sit up straighter, curious to hear about his love story. 

But Steve and Nancy roll their eyes and groan. 

“Don’t listen to him, he never wanted to tell us… so obviously he is bluffing.” Nancy murmurs. “If he had a sweetheart we would have known about her or him!” 

Eddie scoffs, though the smile on his face doesn’t disappear, instead it grows even wider. 

“Honestly Nancy… If I were really single, I would have tried my luck with this young lady I have in front of me the moment I saw her. She’s funny and sweet and she’s hot as hell. Who wouldn’t try to make a move on that piece of ass?” 

Your eyes widen, and you instantly grow flustered, cheeks burning like crazy. 

The bitter taste on Steve’s tongue returns and he can’t even hide his frown this time when he looks at the metalhead beside him, only to realize that he fell right into his trap. Eddie is already looking back at him with a smug smirk on his face. 

Nancy is watching you, how you flush all over while you sip your soda. She holds back her smile, thinking that it’s cute. 

“Don’t worry, Sweetheart. I see you as nothing more than a friend.” He makes the message very clear… to Steve. 

Yet, it does little to calm him down. The same sour feeling as he felt before spreads through his chest. 

Silence fills the space around you for a moment and the air suddenly shifts. You don’t know what it is yet. You don’t notice the look on Nancy’s face and how the amusement slowly fades as the alcohol kicks in differently, affecting other kinds of emotions now. 

“Well.” Eddie looks around, clapping his hands together. “Anyone else got a confession to make?”

Steve shakes his head just like you. 

Nancy hesitates. A sullen look suddenly takes over, crossing over her features out of nowhere. She blinks rapidly as she stares into the fire, chewing on her bottom lip. 

“I love Robin.” 

You slowly look towards her, unlike Eddie who snaps his head into her direction, looking at her in surprise. 

But Steve, he already knew, well– he suspected it. He knew about Robin’s feelings. He knew that she fell in love with Nancy. He remembers how guilty she looked when she confessed to him, fearing that he would hate her for falling in love with his ex-girlfriend. He remembers how scared she was, how she looked at him, like she thought that she was about to lose her best friend. He hugged her then and promised that it was okay. His love for Nancy was in the past and it was never real love to begin with, nothing to mourn over. Puppy love. And the thing that happened back in ‘86 was nothing more than a moment of desperation to feel the only real thing he once thought he had. 

Eddie’s smile slowly fades, lips curling downwards as he stares at Nancy’s glossy eyes. She is his best friend but it’s something he didn’t know. It’s something she wasn’t ready to confess. To speak into the universe. To let out. 

“She… She confessed to me. She told me that she loves me… that she’s in love with me. And then she died…on the same day.” She whispers and bows her head to hide the tears that are about to slip down her cheeks. 

Steve breathes in shakily, he looks away and closes his eyes. 

“I never said it back.”

Your heart breaks for her. She kept it all to herself for such a long time, it must have been eating away at her. Her sniffles pains you even more. You lean forward and place your hand on her knee. 

“Shit…” Eddie whispers, staring at her with sad eyes as the realization slowly sinks in. “I didn’t know, Nance.”

“Yeah…” She whispers, not looking up just yet. “And now… I can never say it back.”

You don’t know what to say. Eddie doesn’t either. You’re both not even sure if words are what she needs or if she just needs to let this all out. 

“I-I honestly never made a move on her before that because I thought she hated me…” She confesses, talking without a filter now. Her emotions take control, guided by the alcohol in her system. 

You frown at her words, gripping her knee tighter as you try to see her face but it’s covered by her long hair. 

“Why would she hate you, Nancy?” 

Eddie looks between you both, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“Because of what I did to Steve.” She whispers, slowly looking up at you. 

Anxiety builds up inside of you and you begin to feel nervous. 

“W-What did you do to Steve?”

Steve snaps his head towards the two of you, shaking his head with a panicked look on his face. “Nancy–”

“I cheated on him. Hurt him. I thought Robin would hardly forgive someone like that. That Robin wouldn’t even like someone that did that to her best friend… Even if that happened a long time ago…”

Steve closes his eyes with a sigh, murmuring a quiet ‘fuck’.

Eddie winces under his breath. 

You draw back instantly, your hand falling off her knee. You take in a sharp breath. The realization rushing through you coldly. You grip the soda can tighter and look down. 

Nancy was the girl he told you about. 

She was the one who hurt him, who broke his heart. 

All this time you have been traveling with them and you didn’t even know. 

You feel like a fool. 

And it’s sadness and insecurity that hits you the hardest. She was the girl. And you are nothing like her, not even in the slightest. 

Steve looks up at you slowly. He tries to catch a glimpse of your face but it’s tilted so far down.

You don’t know what to feel, what to think. 

How can he be around her? You’d never be able to travel with your ex-boyfriend who cheated on you, lied to you, acted like he loved you. You could never be around him, let alone be his friend… unless you still loved him. 

Suddenly it’s nausea that bubbles up. Your heart sinks to your stomach. And now you wonder, would you have known sooner if you just put two and two together? If you would have taken a closer look? 

“I never knew.” Eddie murmurs, patting her back. 

“I didn’t want anyone to know,” Nancy whispers. “A-And that’s all… that’s all I got to confess. What about you…? Do you have anything…?”

You suddenly feel suffocated and you no longer want to sit here in this circle. It’s all become too much and all these questions running through your head begin to drive you crazy. You want to be alone. You need to think. 

You clear your throat as you get up, picking up your discarded bowl from before and your empty soda can. You take a quick look around and force a smile on your face when Nancy looks up at you with her big eyes. 

“I’m gonna go to sleep. I’m tired and my head is starting to hurt again.” You lie. You avoid both Steve’s and Eddie’s eyes. 

“Oh.” Nancy mumbles, her shoulders slumping. 

“Good night.” You whisper before you brush past Steve, ignoring the way he looks up at you in concern. You quickly make your way into the RV and shut the door behind you before any of them can question you. 

You set everything down on the kitchen counter. Gripping the edges of it, you lean against it and close your eyes, sighing loudly. 

You are confused and shocked, not understanding how it all went over your head for months. You could have known sooner. You should have. You wish you did. 

A part of you wants to know more, the other part doesn’t. 

You clean up your bowl and put everything away before you make your way into the tiny bathroom to brush your teeth. You hurry, wanting to be asleep before anyone comes in to check on you. 

Not even the mint flavor of your toothpaste can get rid of the bitter taste on your tongue though. 

“Sunshine?” 

You almost groan in annoyance. Almost. You would have if it wasn’t him. You spit out the paste and rinse your mouth before you walk out. You plaster a smile on your face when you notice him standing by the kitchen counter. 

He offers you a smile, “I uh… are you okay? Do you need anything?” 

Your eyes soften. You press your lips together and shake your head, “no, I just… I wanna get some sleep.” 

He brings his hand up to the back of his neck as he nods, “alright…”

You don’t move and neither does he. 

Steve is so selfless. He’s so kind and sweet when he allows himself to be. He would do anything for his friends, showing you that he would do absolutely everything for the one he loves. There is not a single bad thing about him. So… how could she do this to him? 

“I’m–”

“So Nancy…” 

Steve can’t read the expression on your face nor can he figure out the emotion in your voice but if he didn’t know any better, he would think it is hurt… sadness. But why? 

“Yeah…” Steve whispers. 

He doesn’t know why he feels the urge to show you, to tell you that he doesn’t feel anything for Nancy, that he hasn’t felt anything for her in years, that he could never again. 

You swallow harshly and nod. You take a seat on the bench and he follows you after a second, sitting down beside you. 

“Do you…” You pause, not knowing if you’re actually ready to find out. 

“I don’t love her anymore if that’s what you think.” Steve confesses, wanting – needing you to know. 

He wishes he could ignore the way your shoulders slump in relief or the way your eyes fill with something that looks like hope. 

“No?”

He shakes his head, “no. It was uh… It was puppy love but not real love, if it makes sense?” 

“Oh.”

Steve takes a deep breath. He continues to look into your eyes, wanting to catch each and every one of your reactions. 

“It was the first time someone else… cared for me. That someone seemed to like me for me and not because I was this popular guy… I only knew loneliness thanks to my parents being complete assholes.” 

Your eyebrows furrow as though you’re in pain. The sympathy and the sadness the flashes in your eyes reminds him of Robin. 

Steve runs his fingers through his hair, swallowing the lump that grew in his throat. 

“I’m so sorry, Steve.” You frown, knowing how that ended for him. 

“It’s okay, Sunshine.” He shrugs, his whisper is soft. 

How could she look into his hazel eyes and not fall for him harder every day? How could she look at him and think that he wasn’t good enough? That there could be someone better out there? How could she look at him and not think that he was the best thing that’s ever happened to her? 

There is little distance between you and your hand finds his before you can even think rationally. 

Steve looks down at it. It’s not the first time he feels your touch like this. It’s also not the first time he feels that electric feeling cursing through him. 

“But then… Robin came.”

“Wait then… you for Robin–”

“God, no, no…” Steve shakes his head, interrupting you quickly. “She just… She just filled that loneliness, and it made me realize that I was just chasing Nancy… pretending to be in love… Just to noy feel alone again…” He explains, cringing a little. “And then, Robin kind of started dating this girl, and I felt that bit of bitterness inside of me cause she was spending a little less time with me.” 

You nod in understanding as he keeps talking. 

“I tried dating around as well… But nothing worked out, no one wanted me for anything other than sex.” 

You frown at his words, feeling anger and a sliver of jealousy burning in you. 

“So I kind of… set my eyes back on Nancy again, not because I still loved her but… She was just the closest thing I had to a ‘real’ relationship. It was dumb to chase her again, to go after someone who hurt me. It took me a moment to realize that there are other versions of love that can be fulfilling.” 

“Robin.” 

He gives you a small smile, tapping your hand with his finger. He eyes the lilac hair tie around your wrist. It’s yours now. For safekeeping. 

“Robin.” He nods. 

He stopped seeking her out when he let go of a love he thought was… love. Maybe it should calm you down a little but it doesn’t. 

“And now… that Robin is… gone?”

He knows what you’re asking. 

You want to know if he will do it again, if he will chase after her again. 

Steve shakes his head, humming. “I would never make that mistake again,” he chuckles, cringing at his younger self. “Besides, I don’t feel lonely.”

“Oh… Eddie and Nance?” You ask. 

You secretly hope that you are the reason for that he doesn’t feel lonely anymore. 

“No, I felt lonely with them too. I was… grumpy, remember?” He asks, cocking his eyebrow as his eyes flash with amusement. 

You shake your head, “then what–”

“You came.” He confesses. 

And it makes your heart flutter like crazy. Your eyes fill with so much hope. You straighten up and curl your hand around his as you gaze into his hazel eyes. 

“You are… as stubborn as Robin was.” He whispers. “You remind me of her.” 

Oh… 

And then it hits you. 

It hits you harder than anything else ever has before. 

He never liked you for you. 

He gave you a chance because you reminded him of the one person that meant everything to him. He gave you a chance because he saw her in you, because he could pretend. 

You were never to him what he is to you. 

You are a replacement. A placeholder. 

And here you thought you found someone who likes you for you. 

But of course not. 

How did you never see it? Every time he talked about Robin, every time that he mentioned a memory, and– His eyes, they are looking at your wrist. At the hair tie, and– It was him… he put that on you, and now you knew. This wasn’t just anyone’s hair tie… this was Robin’s.

Your hand slowly slips away from his, looking down at the floor. You caught feelings only to find out that he saw you as a replacement for his soulmate. For someone he thought of as family, as a sister. He sees you that way, he will always see you that way and not as a woman. Not as someone who can try to give the love he wants and needs. 

Because you are like Robin… and you are the opposite of Nancy.

You’ll never be like Nancy. She looks like… a woman, a strong woman that knows what she wants, that is experienced, that is mature, that knows how to handle most of the situations with a clear mind and you– You are reckless, a klutz like Eddie had called you, and you also were–

“You want a kitkat before bed, Sunshine?”

Immature.

☀︎

taglist: @prettyboyeddiemunson @pretentious-blonde @thecreelhouse @tvserie-s-world @thesickestqrmydcll @crispystarfishhottub @sophal22 @definitionwanderlust @talkativecarnation @mysticalwoolenfroglegs @ariesandwolves @mortqlprojections @sattlersquarry @sherrylyn0628 @purpleeyeswithgoldensparkles @micheledawn1975 @keepingitlokiii @littleromanoff2005 @sunshine-mrk @xxladymjxx

[ericscroptop]

Work Hard, Play Harder

✧ pairing: bf! sunwoo x gf! reader

✦ genre: smut w/ hints of fluff

✧ warnings: 18+ (minors DNI), smut, p!rn without plot, inexperienced and a bit shy reader, nervous/insecure about sex, fingering, dirty talk, c!m tasting from both, praising, pet names, cursing, kissing, marking, fluff

✦ word count: 5.4k words

✧ synopsis: you laying on his bed is so enticing. he can’t help that he wants to play with you and show your fried brain a little fun.

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

How foolish of you to think even for a second that you’d be able to get homework done with Kim Sunwoo in the same room?

Normally, you’d get your assignments and whatnot done in isolation because you work best with minimal-to-zero distractions. But today, you’ve somehow let Sunwoo convince you to do homework in his bedroom.

The past couple days, you hadn’t seen your boyfriend much. Schedules were opposite and conflicting, so it was only today that each of you had a slot of free time.

Still, you recalled that you had a task to complete before a deadline that was approaching. The sooner you finished it, the better.

Today seemed like a perfect day to lock in, but Sunwoo kept texting you that he missed you so much, insisting you two should hang out.

While you also missed him, it would be the smarter choice to get your homework done before you hangout with him. Which, is what you tried to tell him. But while you were mid-text, he was already knocking on your door.

You lectured him for bothering you, knowing you’d fold for his big pleading eyes, plump pouty lips, and his sweet voice.

Next thing you know, he’s telling you to grab your laptop and book bag, and driving you over to his place to work on schoolwork together. There’s a few assignments he should probably get around to doing anyways, too. So, a study date it is then!

That’s how you found yourself lying on your stomach over his bed, head facing the end of it, laptop and other essentials spread out in front. Meanwhile, he sat with his back against his pillows and headboard, laptop sitting over his lap.

After about an hour of having small snacks, chatting, and catching up from the days you’ve been apart, (which is exactly why you needed to be locked up alone to avoid distractions like him), you sighed when you realized the time you let pass and recalled what you were supposed to be doing in the first place.

Perhaps it was good to recharge with Sunwoo before getting to work; that way, you both at least got some of that pent-up excitement out from not seeing each other.

Well… that’s what you had hoped.

Now, you each settled into your own spots on his bed, a blended playlist of you guys’ current favorite songs playing faintly in the back via his laptop. Some sound was needed to fill the silence while you two worked.

You bounced from tab to tab on your screen while you began researching and citing quotes for the paper you’re working on. It’s tedious and frustrating to craft it, but you’re determined to write a mean paper that’ll hopefully get you an A.

Every now and then, you’d just stare at your screen blankly, complaining mentally in discouragement, or trying to conjure up ideas for the way you phrase your next sentences. But in other moments, you get inspired and furiously type away, getting into the groove of having ideas flow out smoothly.

Sunwoo smiles to himself when he hears your fingers clicking the keys at an unremitting rhythm. It seems like you know what you’re doing, when in contrast, his discussion post prompt is sending daggers at him, patiently waiting for him to actually start it.

It’s not difficult to become distracted, especially given the fact that he’s doing something mundane like homework. It’s such a chore, one that was crucial to his academic success.

Bullshitting his assignment or procrastinating even more sounds inviting. Even you had your moments where you don’t try as hard and leave things till last minute because it’s exhausting to even think about. But Sunwoo said you guys would do homework, so he should get on it.

Your form working diligently on his bed only distracted him further. How could he focus when watching your engrossed state looked more appealing?

He’s unable to see your face of concentration, only listening to the occasional exasperated groans that would leave your throat, and watching the way your feet would sway in the air in different directions, at various tempos and patterns. He’s noticed how fidgety you’d get sometimes, particularly with your legs. Your feet also would rub together and draw shapes into his comforter while you worked.

It’s endearing to watch your habits, not aware that he has disregarded his discussion post to admire you instead.

As he’s observing the way your legs roamed freely, he shamelessly starts to wander his eyes over the rest of your body.

Since all you planned for today was to be swamped in your paper, you dressed comfortably. A baggy t-shirt and sweat shorts was your attire of the day.

Your legs are left exposed. He soaks in the detailing of your skin, and runs his eyes to your bottom.

Sunwoo likes to think he’s a respectful man, and you’d definitely agree. He’s always patient with you, respecting your boundaries and has always been a gentleman. He treats you like any other human— with kindness, but is extra affectionate and clingy because he’s obsessed with you.

He thinks highly of you. While he loves you for your personality and quirks, he also sees you as visually stunning. His heart pumps fondly and blood rushes when he eyes your physical features.

While decorous, he has to admit that he does stare at various parts of you for a little too long. How could he not in situations like now, where your rear is facing him? Somehow, your oversized shirt bunched upwards, leaving the swell of your ass for his viewing pleasure.

Even though you were clearly clothed, he still had an imagination. He started picturing how your ass would look unveiled. Thinking about exploring every curve of your body with his lips and hands. Wondering about what delicious sounds you’d make when doing naughty things with him.

Unconsciously, you were tantalizing him.

His mind is going towards the gutter. You’re just trying to write your paper like the good student you were, while he was yearning for some attention from you. You were on the bed together, but you made it clear you meant business.

Though, Sunwoo doesn’t think he can wait much longer to hold you for as long as he pleases.

“Baby, can you read this real quick for me?” he suddenly asks. His eyes are entreating as they look at the back of your head. He still has yet to write a single word for his assignment, meaning he just came up with an excuse for you to pay any mind to him. His laptop isn’t even over him anymore; it’s been pushed to the side.

“Gimme a sec.” you uttered, fingers typing quickly and face still directed towards your screen.

He grins mischievously in the short amount of time you finish writing out one last sentence before switching your focus towards him. The grin falters into a faint smile once you fully turn around, scooting up until you’re right next to him.

“You actually got some work done? I’m impressed.” you scoffed, prepared to read his assignment.

You see he doesn’t bring his laptop to his lap or hand it over to you, making you raise your brows in question. Instead, he makes the move of pulling you in between his legs.

“Hey! What are you doing! Stop—” you choked out but interrupted yourself with broken giggles due to how ticklish you were.

Your heart was pounding, startled and delirious as your form was now in between his legs. His arms wrapped around your waist, holding you firmly with your back pressed against his chest.

His chin settles into your shoulder, turning his head to graze his lips over the shell of your ear.

“You’ve been working too hard. Let’s take a break, hm?”

You’re stiff as hell. You guys have kissed one another, made out, cuddled, took naps together, etc., but your body and mind still malfunctioned when you were this near to him.

All the focus centered on the tension from close proximity. You could hear his breathing and sense his air from such fanning over your neck and ear.

“You didn’t actually get anything done, did you?” you muttered, fingers clutching the skin of your thighs as he invaded your personal space. It’s not that you didn’t like it— quite the opposite, actually. You just didn’t know how to react.

“How can I when we haven’t properly spent time together?” he hums, pushing some of your hair back to start leaving soft kisses over your sensitive spots. Instinctively, you shut your eyes and angle your neck, succumbing to his tender gesture.

“Sunwoo… my paper.” you reminded him as his kisses were seemingly growing fervid. Somehow your shirt exposed your shoulder, riveting him to redirect his mouth to the spot. A hand of his rubs your clothed tummy, dragging wet kisses across the bare skin.

Your body shivers, goosebumps appearing instantly. Uninhibitedly, you squeezed your thighs and let out a shaky breath. Your body temperature was rising and you felt so small.

“It can wait. I can’t. I missed you so much.” he voices. His hands loosen from your stomach and he brings one of them to your hair, smoothing over your locks.

By this point, you gathered strength to turn your head somewhat to look at him. With his free veiny hand, he cups your cheek, searching every inch of your face with his orbs as if he’s trying to memorize it.

“Did you miss me, too? Tell me you missed me.” his big dark, yet soft eyes hold vulnerability and longing. His look leaves your throat parched, still growing hot all over. You even feel something akin to a heartbeat down south between your legs.

Sunwoo was so needful. That’s one of the things you liked about him. He was cool and collective to the public and friends, but when around you, he never abstained his openness about how much your presence soothed him.

“You know I always miss you.” you answered, still maintaining eye contact with him as he continued to hold your cheek. Deep down, he knew your answer but still wanted to be affirmed aloud. It contented him, but he needed you to touch him back now.

He takes initiative to close more distance between you two, leaning his face further until his nose is brushing against yours.

You can feel each other’s breath face to face. He brushes his features over yours, his nose and lips grazing past your own in a gentle back-and-forth motion.

“Kiss me, baby.” he ghosts over your lips. You’re breathless by just his teasing actions, your own nails digging into your thighs to keep yourself grounded.

It’s impossible to refuse his precious plead. He’s caught you like a fish on a hook. You fall for the bait of his charms, and connect your lips with his own.

The kisses shared start out moderate, lips meeting and touching, pressure light. Your back still rests against his chest, slightly at an angle to continuously kiss him. He keeps you near to his liking by not letting that one hand of his part from your face.

It doesn’t take long before a few tastes make you both greedy.

The sounds of your lips puckering and the sensation of one another’s appendage meeting together creates heightened sensations. You each start fighting for more. It evolves into something wetter, his tongue darting out to flick against yours, tongue tips touching.

Desperation clouded your mind with the way this has grown into making out. Sunwoo has your body unable to remain calm, wiggling and unthinkingly pushing your core down into his mattress

Your breathing alongside his, has grown heavier. Although whipped in chasing your lips, he clearly catches the low moan that lets out your throat.

The naughty sound has him smirking against your mouth. There’s excitement within him, mentally and physically. His manhood is getting pumped full of blood, warming up and swelling the more you two make out fiercely.

His lustful instincts get him to maneuver his free hand towards your thigh. Since your shorts were generously short, he had easy access to your bare skin. His palm and fingers stroked it, making your spine and pussy shiver at how close he was to your private area.

As you two continue with the fiery embrace, he’s only wishing for more contact and intimacy. His fingers start trailing towards your inner thigh, dangerously closer to your covered sex.

Having his hand near such a concealed and sensitive spot makes you shut your thighs together on impulse, thus squeezing his hand in the process.

You butt your back against him the more touchy he gets, causing you to take note of something firm prodding into your lower back.

If you’re not mistaken, you think that is his—

“You got me so hard, baby.” Sunwoo rumbles, parting lips for a moment to catch your breaths. He’s burning for more of you. And while he also is igniting something within you, you’re unfamiliar in what happens next.

“Feel that? It’s ‘cause of you doll.” he slightly pushes himself against you, as if you two aren’t already close together. His erection is hard to not notice now, bringing you interest yet anxiousness.

While you guys have been dating for a decent amount of time, there hasn’t been any initiation of doing anything past kissing and cuddling. You didn’t think much of it— as you were still a virgin. And as horny as you still got from time-to-time, you were a tiny bit apprehensive for the day you did do something sexual with someone.

You imagine that right now is when things go further for you two.

“Sunwoo… I haven’t… I’ve never…” your cheeks got hot and reddened, feeling a bit embarrassed to have this conversation. You didn’t want to let your boyfriend down or kill the mood.

He stilled behind you, eyes softening once your words clicked in his head. Your eyes avoided his own, fidgeting with your limbs.

Although you felt mortified, Sunwoo believes he should be the one to feel ashamed. You two never had the conversation of sex before, so how would he have known? But nevertheless, the last thing he’d want you to feel is distressed or cross a boundary he shouldn’t have.

“Shit… did I make you uncomfortable? Hey, look at me.” he thumbs your cheek with one hand while the other goes to enfold one of your own, holding it lovingly.

You do look at him, worried that you’d disappoint him with your lack of experience, palms all sweaty.

“I… I’ve never done anything past making out.” you admitted more clearly.

“That’s okay. We don’t have to do anything if you’re not ready or comfortable with it. I’m sorry if I got too carried away.” he offers you an apologetic look, still caressing your cheek delicately.

“We should get back to doing our homework. I shouldn’t have bothered you.” his voice is genuine, tinged with regret of letting his hormones loose.

The look on his face, the way he shows that he respects you, and his apology (that you believe was not needed but still kind), has you melting. He’s definitely sheepish, but you don’t want him feeling that way.

If anything, Sunwoo was working you up. Sexual frustration was becoming a bitch to you. Your core’s experiencing a wind of warmth, unable to dismiss it. You think you need some sort of alleviation.

“Babe,” you reached a hand up to his hair, shaking your head while massaging his fluffy strands.

“I really want to do stuff with you. So bad, Sunwoo.” there’s so much honestly within your words and tone, longing and sentiment coating your orbs.

“I just don’t know… I don’t know how i’ll react or if you’ll like me.” you almost whisper, suddenly insecure of yourself now that you’re admitting this aloud to your boyfriend.

Every now and then, you wondered what it would be like to get intimate with another person. It would be vulnerable for you to show your bare body to someone. You can’t help but overthink that Sunwoo might not feel satisfied with you, or that you wouldn’t enjoy it— possibly finding it uncomfortable, instead.

Without a doubt you trusted him, but fearing unfamiliar territory was natural. You simply didn’t know what to expect.

How would you know unless you actually tried it?

A scoff comes out of Sunwoo, followed by an empathetic smile.

“Of course I like you, silly girl.” he chuckles, reaching for the hand that was in his hair and connecting it with his own. He gives it a reassuring squeeze, prompting the corners of your lips to raise in seeing and hearing him make that gentle sound.

“I love you, Y/n.” I will cherish every part of you. You’re so damn beautiful.” he brings your hand to his lips, dotting soft kisses over your knuckles. His other hand stays on your hip protectively.

“You’re safe with me. I wanna treat my girl right. I’m yours.” he means all of it, clear sincerity as bright as day twined in his tone and words.

Hearing his words is dulcet to your ears. There’s this wave that washed over you. It’s like a sea that gets you lost. Lost but secure from his touches and statements.

“I want you to feel comfortable with me. You’re the priority here. If you don’t wanna do anything that’s completely fine.”

“But if you wanna, we can start slow. If you give me the okay, i’ll take care of where it aches.”

It feels like your tummy does a somersault at that. You’re positive your cheeks are flushing, all rosy with how he always knows the right things to say. He really does care about you.

As if on cue, your pussy throbs more when he acknowledges that it must be craving for some stimulation.

You’re feeling so shy about letting him see or touch your bare sex, but one look at those bambi eyes of his and you think you’re ready. Ready for Sunwoo to help pleasure you.

Amenability glazes your eyes when you look at him. Although still slightly lacking confidence, you’re sure you want to take your relationship somewhat further.

“Okay…” it comes out faintly from your voice. You pause for a few before gaining strength to speak up a bit. “Touch me, Sunwoo. Please.”

Sunwoo’s gaze is tender as you spoke with vulnerability, granting him permission to un shield a part of yourself that you reserved for someone you trust and care for deeply.

That someone being him.

A part of him is nervous to touch you. He’s not planning on going past fingering with you for now, but he still wants to make this an enjoyable experience for you.

Aside from that ounce of concern, his body is overly excited to reach third base with you. It’s been awhile since he’s sensually touched someone else. Your existence brought him so much warmth, and he often craved to have you in sexual ways.

He’s been a patient boy. And now, you were going to allow for him to rub you as he pleased.

He’s determined and delighted to give you some delectable pleasure. To show you how much he cares about you through this new form of intimacy.

You feel like you’re hallucinating and definitely are perspiring and clammy from anticipation. Even so, you weren’t going to let your nerves fuck you over. You wanted to try this.

Once more, he double checks to ensure your consent, and you simply nod with a positive ‘yes.’

“I’ll take it slow. Just relax for me and I’ll do all the work. Lemme know if you wanna stop or if anything hurts, alright, baby?

“I love you, Sunwoo.” you smiled, all misty eyed from how caring he was being in this moment.

“I love you, too, Y/n.” he returns your smile, then gravitates his lips towards yours. You kiss passionately, but the embrace of lips is still smooth. It further stresses the respect and cosmic attachment he has for you— and vice versa.

After lip locking, his hands begin to explore your skin. With you sitting in between his legs, he directs you to lean back comfortably. His hands creep their way under your shirt, tracing your bare sides up and down like he had all the time in the world.

He also patted at your stomach, smoothing over it protectively. Instead of diving his fingers straight into your sex, he wanted to ease up your body first to get used to these sensual touches of his.

Slithering downwards from your abdomen, he continues to love up on your body, massaging the flesh of your thighs.

It’s his mission and wish to soften your core and muscles, getting you to enjoy this moment. Additionally to his tactile movements, he pairs them with words laced with so much sugar that he’s starting to give you a rush.

“Body so soft.”

“Never wanna let you go.”

“You belong here in my arms, hm.”

“Such a sweet, sweet girl.”

In between compliments, he rotates from kissing your temple, cheek, and the corner of your mouth. Your head rests back against his shoulder, eyes resting shut as you feel yourself getting more and more comfortable and aroused by the minute.

When his dominant hand finally finds itself in between your legs and over your clothed crotch, your breathing grows shaky from him cupping at it, shivering at the hold.

“You okay?” he doesn’t remove his hand but stills it, making sure you’ve not grown uncomfortable.

To answer, your thighs squeeze his hand, willingly grinding down into it.

“Keep going, show me more.” you whimpered, getting Sunwoo to smug at your reaction to his efforts. Oh, just you wait.

“Gonna take off your shorts, hm?”

You let him do it, and when they’re off, your bottom is left in your cotton panties. They’re not the most sexy undergarment, and you honestly wish you would’ve worn a different pair. But that was not on Sunwoo’s mind at all.

All he cared about was that he’s one more layer closer to his treasure. He’s beyond excited to meet your pussy. The view of your soft panties being the only thing that comes in between his hand and your folds is heart-stopping.

His fingers experimentally touch your pussy lips through the fabric, slightly applying pressure teasingly. You quake at the touch, a breath stuck in your throat as he strokes the area.

His plump lips part and shift into an amused expression, pleased in how he’s getting you going.

“Hurry… please, Sunwoo.” you whined, cheeks definitely blushing at how overly needful you sound— and are.

A chuckle escapes from Sunwoo’s throat, “Patience, doll. You’ll get my fingers, ‘kay?”

Given how keyed up you are, he strips the last bit of fabric off with your cooperation. Now tossed away, your sex is exposed to the air, and Sunwoo finally gets to touch it raw.

His fingertips carefully sweep over your vulva, tonguing at his teeth when he feels moisture. You shyly mewl at the bare contact.

“Fuck, so wet for me. You excited, baby?” his throat rumbles.

You whined again, red-faced at the vulnerability of all this. In response, he kisses your cheek for comfort, still exploring your outside parts.

“Don’t be embarrassed. How can you be so cute and sexy, hm?”

Before you know it, he finds your clit and nudges at it with diligence, earning a squeak turned moan from you. Bingo.

It inclines you to push your hips upwards, squirming at your boyfriend touching you like this. It’s so different to have someone else play with your cunt. Different, but you can see yourself becoming addicted to it.

He only allows himself to tease your bundle of nerves for a few before diverting his fingers lower, starting to trace around your hole.

“Relax for me.” he murmurs. You let out a breath, allowing him to use his left hand to rub your knee in support, and encourages you to spread your legs out a little more. “Doing so good. Yeah, that’s it.”

After coaxing you, he unexpectedly removes his hand away from your sex. You huff out and draw your mouth open in confusion and protest, but nothing else comes out when you watch Sunwoo stick a finger in between his lips, too stunned at the close-up scene of something so erotic.

For extra insurance, he pops a finger in his mouth to lube it with saliva, lathering it well. He’s aiming for this to go as smoothly as possible.

He smirks while you watch, humming before taking it out and moving back to your cunt.

Once again, he circulates over your entrance, teasing you more before he at last, slips that one finger prudently past your slit.

A whimper bounces out of your mouth from the initial stretch, accommodating to the sensation of your boyfriend’s finger making its debut.

“Ahhh, mhm…”

“Shhhh… It’s okay, I gotchu. Gonna make this feel so good for you.” He gives you heartening kisses, still lingering not that far in yet, giving you time to soak it in slowly.

He’s pretty patient. The last thing he wants to do is hurt you. Even if you’re impatient for it, he keeps his movements gentle and careful.

A little at a time, he has a decent portion of his finger inserted. He doesn’t move immediately so you can fully adjust.

You then give him the green light, and so he starts playing with your inside.

His finger testingly swirls, intrigued to discover this new territory that gets to be his home— for hopefully forever.

Soft moans come out your mouth before you realize, and you’re suddenly too aware of this intimate situation, feeling like you’re getting a fever.

It’s taking everything in you to not squirm. You opt for burying your face into your boyfriend’s neck in attempt to cover more smutty sounds and burning face.

Sunwoo is displeased with that, though. He halts his finger, pausing any action.

Your brows furrow and the sudden lack of motion has you lifting your head up.

“Why’d you stop?” your eyes were filled with worry. Maybe he’s bored or something’s wrong?

“Don’t hide from me.” his voice is serious. “Lemme hear those pretty moans”

Oh.

His finger moves again. Only this time, he starts to curl it and begins a slow flow of driving it in and out of you.

“Hmmphhh!” you whimpered, breath shaky and heart beat ascending at how sensational it is to have someone fucking you with just their finger.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” he smirks, not planning on stopping until he pushes you to your breaking point.

Your sex hormones are going wild, feening for incessant sexual pleasure until you can’t take it anymore.

You’re bucking down to meet the movement of his finger, it having grown not enough rather quicker than you anticipated. Sunwoo has to titter at that, wowed to see how fast you’ve adjusted, and yearn for more.

Since you’re so desperate, he doesn’t warn you when he pushes a second finger past your hole. You gasp, followed by a curse word at the additional stretch.

“Shit, this tight pussy must love me.” his voice is breathy and deep as he feels your walls grip at his fingers.

He’s fucking your cunt now with two fingers, gradually with more pressure and firmer. His fingers pump against the ridges of your walls, moving and bending them, thus bringing you highly concentrated pleasure to your core.

Your arousal soaks his long fingers, above turned on that your hot boyfriend’s hand is creating a new high for you that you thought was unimaginable.

He inflames you even more when he starts to nip at your neck. His mouth’s latched onto your skin while down below, his thrusts just become deeper and deeper. He’s too keen on giving you a divine time that you’d think about for the rest of your life.

“Right there, Sunwoo! Oh my God, s-so good!” you gasped out when he hits a spot that scratches your senses so good.

“Right there, huh?”

Luckily, your boy knows what he’s doing, so he continues to hit that spot continually and not let up. He believes now is when he enhances your brain and body further by making use of his thumb to position over your clit.

He thumbs at your swollen bud, massaging it in an unhurried, but consistent rhythm.

And that sparks something inside you lower region. If you thought your pussy was aching before, it definitely is now.

Your breaths sound quicker and he takes note of you bringing a thumb to your mouth, biting down on it while mewls still slip past your lips. His pumps persist while your walls suck his fingers in like a vacuum as he moves in and out.

Every sound and the sight of you writhing, unable to remain calm, encourages him to not dwindle down on his ministrations.

The pressure applied towards your clit is even but remains slow, making you savor every second of stimulation you get, gradually increasing and turning almost-tender to be touched.

Hot pangs hit in your belly, and you feel like you’re starting to sweat, blood pressure spiking. You’re whimpering pathetically, muscles burning and tensing to break free and let yourself collapse.

It’s clear to Sunwoo that you can’t handle this any longer, evident he’s going to bring you to cum.

Squishy sounds and breathy moans are harmonic to the ears while he’s focused on getting you to snap.

“Gonna cum on my fingers? Is baby girl gonna let my fingers get even more soaked with her cum?”

Mhmphhh! Su— Sunwoo.” you cry out.

“Go ‘head. Lemme feel it.” he coaxes, and like the good girl you are, you do let loose.

As your knot unties, you deeply moan, hand that was near your mouth now gripping at his comforter. Your orgasm takes over you, shivering slightly, ass and thighs becoming spastic.

Your eyes are heavy and you see stars that are sparkling and fading, any sounds coming from the two of you sounding distant as you come down.

“I’m so proud of you, doll.” he mumbles as you catch your breath, face falling into his neck. While his fingers still remain in you, he uses his free hand to caress your head, commending you for staying strong and cumming for him.

As you progressively revert closer back to normal, your mind softens, and you’re craving to melt against your boyfriend. You need to logout from reality, Sunwoo having tired you out from getting busy with your pussy.

He coos at you when he makes you whimper and lift your head at the removal of his fingers. To your surprise, he then gravitates those fingers towards his mouth, closing around them and seemingly drinking up whatever stuck to his digits.

Your eyebrows furrow, joined with the part of your lips at him willingly tasting your fluids. He just looks at you, making exaggerated sounds from sucking and sends you a flirty wink.

You shiver and divert your gaze in shyness, flushing as you look back curiously, watching him pull out his licked-clean fingers.

“I knew you’d taste good.” he growls from the act and your essence getting savored by his taste buds.

“Wanna try?” he asks like nothing, seeing that you’re not calling him out for it, just eyeing him inquisitively.

You don’t say anything, but you still have that look gracing your orbs. He dips his fingers down to your core again, lathering them up in more of your spilled cum. You feel tingly during those seconds that he does so, and he raises them up again, nodding at you if you wanted a taste, too.

Your face leaning in slowly is enough of an answer for him, so he goes to hold your chin with the other hand, delicately slipping his fingers into your hot mouth.

You kindly close around them, timidly licking a finger tip for just a second, then getting comfortable to lap up the rest of your own spills. Your teeth even rake over his digits and your eyes fluttered shut with a hum before opening them.

When you do, there still lays a cutey-appearance behind those eyes he adores, even with you licking your own cum.

From that moment, he recognizes that his obsession for you will be death of him.

“Fuck…” he breathes out, stroking the tip of your chin.

“That’s all you, baby girl.”

“So perfect.”

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

[feelmyskinonyourskin]

Judex, Judicum, Infantem - Chapter 5

(Eventual)Reader x Matt Murdock x Frank Castle

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summary: The beginnings of living with Matt feel too good to be true. Could you be falling in love with him? But Matt's flaws of course can't stay hidden forever. With a few special guest appearances.

warnings: SMUT/18+ (don’t interact if your age is not in your bio or I will block you!) AFAB Reader. No use of Y/N. Pregnant sex! Brief mention of vomiting.

Notes: I hit 2,000 followers last week and didn't even notice so I didn't prepare any kind of celebration. So instead, I'm going to post three!!! chapters this week to celebrate! This one today, one on Thursday, and one on Saturday or Sunday.

w/c: 3,806

*I never give permission for my fics, manips, or any other original creation I post on Tumblr to be copied, posted elsewhere, translated, or fed into any AI program. The only platforms I currently post on are Tumblr and AO3. Thanks!*

You weren’t sure what was more spectacular, the way the sunlight filtered in like cascading brush strokes of orange and pink, or the crystal clear view of the Hudson and New Jersey beyond. If you had known dating a successful lawyer came with the perk of moving into such a luxurious apartment, you’d have agreed to go out with Matt much sooner. The nearly floor to ceiling windows were the primary thing you noticed the first time he brought you over here. You weren’t sure if you’d ever tire of standing in front of them and admiring the view that covered most of the living space of Matt’s— now your— apartment.

“Where is this going?” the woman with dark hair asked as she easily hoisted your antique dresser above her head

“Bedroom.” you replied, watching with confusion as she shrugged and headed further into the apartment

A blind guy and a pregnant lady were not two people who should be moving much, so you knew you needed help getting all your things uptown to your new dwelling. But when Matt said he had a few friends who could help you move, you weren’t exactly expecting more vigilantes.

“Jessica, can you please be a little more careful with my girlfriend’s things?” Matt called down the hall, as he stepped up beside you, giving your back a reassuring rub

“As nice as it is to meet some of your friends, why didn’t we hire movers?” you asked, looking around at the chaos that was spread around the living room as you combined your things.

Since Matt could afford a place like this, you were shocked he wouldn’t want to invest in the expense of professionals.

“Really Matt, Heroes for Hire does not exactly fall into the category of movers for hire.” the man named Luke jested as he effortlessly set down a box you knew was heavily packed with your book collection.

Wow, these two were strong.

“I wanted people we could trust.” Matt replied

“Well thank goodness she comes with a first aid kit,” Claire commented, noting the plastic case sitting at the top of the box she was carrying

As she pulled it out and triumphantly waived it in the air, you noticed Matt’s frame went rigid beside you. He hadn’t yet told you why he’d been light in the vigilante scene these days. Maybe Claire joking about you being the one to stitch him up brought up the reason in his mind, or maybe he just hadn’t thought through what life would look like as a vigilante with a family; if he ever did go back to it.

You certainly had thought about it though. Would Matt return to being Daredevil regularly? What would happen if his identity got revealed? To you? Your relationship? Your child? Or worse, what if he got hurt or even killed?

“Oh, were you a Marine?” Claire asked, interrupting your panic spiral

“No.” you replied, confused “Why?”

She rummaged past the first aid kit and pulled the first thing under it from the box; Frank’s sweatshirt. You were packing your apartment up so haphazardly, you’d almost forgotten it was in there. Since discovering Frank was gone, you tucked the item into a dark corner in the back of your closet, hoping to forget him but also not really willing to part with the only item of his you had. When Matt asked you to move in, you were so excited and overwhelmed and admittedly a little scatterbrained from being pregnant, you just grabbed piles of things and shoved them into whatever containers you could find.

Shit, that must be what Matt was actually upset about. You could see him out of the corner of your eye turn away from you and make his way into the kitchen, reaching for a glass and a bottle of whiskey.

“No.” you answered sheepishly “Something from an old friend I totally forgot I had.”

Claire shrugged and put the sweatshirt back, carrying the box into the bedroom.

Matt eased up shortly after his friends departed for the evening, mostly seeming back to his usual self as the two of you snuggled on the sofa and unwound for the night. The apartment was still scattered in boxes and various items of yours, but you both were too tired to actually start unpacking.

“Hang on” you said, feeling the bile already rising in your throat and rushing towards the bathroom

Great, now that you lived with Matt, he was going to hear and smell every reaction your body had to the pregnancy. It seemed your symptoms really ramped up as you approached your 12 week appointment tomorrow. Plus you were starting to have food cravings, calling him when he was out searching for Frank and instead had him swinging from rooftops in search of takeout.

Matt seemed totally unfazed as you returned to the couch, opening his arms up and inviting you back to your place.

“This is getting miserable.”

“Awe I know sweetheart, but the doctor said things should ease up after the first trimester and you’re so close.”

“Yeah until this baby starts getting so heavy that my back hurts constantly and I need to pee every five seconds.”

“You already need to —”

Thwap. You gave his arm a playful whack which caused the corner of Matt’s full lips to quirk up into a beautiful smile as he chuckled. Feigning injury, he pulled his arm away briefly before leaning back in to give you a kiss.

“Sorry baby, couldn’t help it.”

The way his lips pressed against yours sent a buzzing through your skull that radiated down your neck, down your sternum, all the way to in between your legs.

That was another symptom that had appeared in the last few days; you felt insatiably horny. And right now, Matt looked like the most delicious meal you could devour.

You leaned forward, pleading for more which he happily obliged. His lips were as soft as they looked and tingled against yours with the taste of spearmint mixed with the whiskey he’d downed earlier.

Matt had not touched you beyond a few sweet kisses and cuddles since you delivered the news of your pregnancy to him. The way his hands comforted and caressed you in the days since made you feel like he thought you were made of glass; a soft delicate statue like the saints he worshiped, the child of his that you carried the miracle that devined you.

You scratched at his scalp as you kissed, feeling him preening into your touch. Pulling away just enough to speak, you made sure your breath was still hot against his.

“You know I was reading up on unconventional remedies the other day. For my symptoms.”

“Mmm?” Matt’s brows shot up quizzically, a gentle hand lightly tracing a pattern into your waist as he held you.

“One pregnancy forum said sucking dick can help with morning sickness.”

The flush that rose to Matt’s cheeks nearly matched the color of his Daredevil suit and he cleared his throat as his eyes darted back and forth rapidly.

“You —um— You’re joking?”

His voice cracked like a pubescent choir boy. Oh how you loved to make this cocky flirt of a man crumble with just a few words. Lightly, you let your hand creep up his thigh, a centimeter at a time.

“Nope.”

“I don’t think in good conscience I can ask you to do that.” he stuttered

“You’re not asking. I’m offering.”

Apprehensiveness still lingered on his face.

“Matty please, I’m desperate. Both to not be nauseous and for you.”

“Sweetheart. We’ve both had a long and exhausting day.”

You knew he could read the pout on your face as you pulled back by the way his hands reached forward to keep you close.

“How about this?” he reasoned “Let’s take a nice warm shower. Together? Yeah? Get you a little relaxed. Then if you’re feeling up to it afterwards, I’ll consider it.”

“You’re no fun.”

“I’m a lawyer sweetheart. And one of us is going to have to be the serious parent.” he joked

Matt’s shower was a gift sent directly from the heavens, especially against your sore back and shoulders. A full walk in with a bench on either end, a rainfall shower-head above, plus eight jets running down the wall; all adjustable in both spray pattern and temperature. You could get used to this.

You could also get used to the way Matt was pressing his lips against your skin, sending a wave of goosebumps across your flesh despite how warm the steam was surrounding you. Relaxing under his touch, you hadn’t realized how sore you were until you finally let your shoulders drop as Matt ran delicate fingers up and down your flesh. His motions were slow, easy in the way he gently moved you around, spinning you to wet your body and then again so he could reach better. You closed your eyes and hummed at how cared for you felt in the moment.

He gently massaged your scalp to lather in your favorite in shampoo, pampering you while keeping his body closer to you than your own shadow. You could feel his hardness pressing into your behind as he took care of you, teasing you unintentionally. He was working you so well, relaxing you into a state of pliability that was doing nothing to calm your neediness.

You hummed once more, this time more of a whine at how desperately you wanted him.

“That bad, huh?” Matt joked

“It feels like my pregnancy hormones want me to somehow get pregnant again even though that’s impossible. Like I’ll explode if I don’t. That’s how badly I want you.”

You turned to face him, watching him calculating your body’s tells behind his glassy eyes. Pushing a strand of his dark, wet hair away from his face, you couldn’t help but smile at the way he nuzzled into your touch. Just maybe some of your desperation was wearing off on him.

“I’m not made of porcelain, Matty. The doctor said sex was perfectly okay and wouldn’t hurt me or the baby. Please?”

Gently, you drew him closer by the flesh of his hip so that his hardness pressed against your pelvis. He instantly melted against your lips, bringing a hand up to place behind your head and keep you close. Not like the tender kisses he’d been placating you with earlier, the way he kissed you back was growing with hunger.

You yelped into his mouth as your back hit the cold tiles of the shower. There was still a fragility to the way he touched and kissed you, traveling down your body with reverence. He kept his movements gentle as he guided your leg up on the bench and even more softly as he nipped as the flesh inside your thighs as he sunk to his knees.

“Wait, I thought I was supposed to be the one on my knees for you—- oh!”

Answering your protestations with only the motion of his lips to your sensitive bud, kissing it while rubbing his stubble back and forth against your thighs.

“Nope sweetie. Gotta take care of you now.”

He pulled away just enough to speak, then dove right back in. He sucked at your core as if he was devouring an ice cream bar in the summer sun, gentle enough to not loose a single topping but also quickly enough to not let it melt.

Labored breaths left your lips in whispers of his name. It seemed to ignite an invigorated fire within Matt, now grasping at your thighs to steady you as he increased the fervor of his tongue. Every circle of it against you drew you closer and closer to the edge. All it took for you to finally snap was the brief pause he took to look up at you, a combination of lust and adoration swimming behind his glossy eyes.

Relief washed over you as your cunt spasmed and contracted, like the first wave of the ocean hitting your flesh after soaking in the sun all day. It was warm and white and you tried your hardest to remain upright on shaky legs and slick tile. Grunting at the taste of your release, Matt didn’t stop until you were all the way through your orgasm.

“Well it didn’t fix the morning sickness like sucking you off might, but I won’t complain.” you commented, earning a hearty chuckle from Matt

You felt a little dizzy as you tilted your head back against the cool wall behind you, too blissed out to even notice as Matt stood and lined his hardness up with your slit.

All you could do was reach forward and hang onto his shoulders as he pushed inside you, inch by inch until he was comfortably seated. One of his large hands held under your thigh, supporting it as it rested on the bench. The other was pressed behind you on the wall, caging you in. You could taste yourself in his kisses, tangy and sweet. He thrusted gently, gauging how much you could take as you clung to him.

You nodded into the crook of his neck, urging him on.

“Is this okay? Are you feeling good?” he asked

“Mhm” was about the most coherent answer you could give

You could feel the warm, toned muscle of Matt’s chest against your breasts as only atoms separated you at this point. As he began to find a rhythm, your nipples rubbed against his taught muscles, extra pert from no longer being warmed by the spray of the shower and already oversensitive from your changing hormones. Your thighs burned as you efforted to keep yourself upright and if you weren’t in so much pleasure you would collapse into the puddle of warm water at your feet. Already still worked up from your last orgasm, you could feel another approaching quickly as his cock dragged deliciously along your walls

“Please…please…” you groaned into his ear, nuzzling at him to just be as close as you could

“I know sweetheart, I know. Let go for me, yeah?”

This orgasm was stronger than the last, blossoming from your core through the rest of your body. Your walls spasmed strongly around him and you could feel his muscles flex under you as he worked to hold you steady. All you could do was ride it out and cling to him like a koala as you came down.

He must have been close too, because Matt’s pace began to falter as he pitched himself up into you. Reveling in the dissipating fizz of you own after shocks, you somehow managed to bring a shaky hand up from his back and run it through his hair, giving it a soft tug.

“So close baby. So close.” he promised, kissing at your neck

It only took a little longer of you nuzzling against him and running a hand up and down his warm skin before he was grunting and shaking against you, releasing inside you in with a groan.

The mix of both your releases ran down your leg and combined with the rainfall droplets from the shower head above, now a lukewarm temperature, running into the drain.

“Careful, it’ll be slippery” Matt said as he gingerly removed himself from you and helped guide your leg off the bench.

Once you were out of the shower and all dried, you laid in bed snuggled in Matt’s embrace with your back flush against his chest. Wrapped comfortably in an old Columbia sweatshirt of Matt’s that he offered to you as you got ready for bed. You suspected the soft navy garment was a subtle territory mark over the one of Frank’s that still sat in the unpacked box.

He kissed at your forehead and ran a hand protectively over your stomach. You weren’t yet showing. Anyone passing by on the street wouldn’t think so at least. But you definitely looked like you had one too many burritos if you wore the right clothing. Getting dressed in the mornings had you favoring more stretchy pants and loose fitting dresses these days and you knew you’d need to get some maternity items sooner rather than later.

“I should get going soon. Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep?” Matt asked

You turned to face him, gently taking his chin in your palm.

“Matt, no. Please don’t go at all.” you plead “I really appreciate you doing the decent thing and trying to find Frank, but there’s no point. We’re building a life here together. I’m happy. You’ve already been so committed to this family and so am I. We don’t need Frank. I don’t need Frank. I just need you.”

Matt took the hand you’d been stroking his face with and moved it down to the left side of his chest, letting it rest over his heart.

The way he smiled at you, sincere and genuine made your heart want to burst.

“Okay, sweetheart. Whatever you want.” he agreed

You rewarded him with a sweet kiss, happy with the way he grinned into it.

“Maybe some day, when this is more behind us, you can tell me exactly what went down between the two of you. I know it’s complicated.”

Matt nodded in agreement.

“But not tonight. You need rest baby, we’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

You hummed, twisting to resume your position laying back against his chest.

As you drifted off to the sound of his steady heartbeat in your ears, you clung tightly to him, finally content at having such a soft place to land. A soft place with Matt.

And then a thought danced across your brain, as gentle as a feather in the wind.

I love you.

Goddammit.

You would have loved to stay in bed just a little longer, angrily burrowing further under the cover at the realization that it was already morning. But the way you could hear Matt rushing around getting ready, you knew you needed to get up.

When you opened your eyes, however, you weren’t expecting to see him already fully dressed, finishing the last loop on his tie.

“Matt?”

He rushed to your side and placed a quick kiss on your forehead. He appeared panicked, eyes darting everywhere as he adjusted the knot on his tie.

“Sweetie, I am so sorry but the judge just called an emergency session for the Madison trial next week. I’m going to go to the courthouse and see what I can do to get out as quick as I can.

Your heart sank. Your 12 week appointment was today.

“Matt, it’s—”

“Don’t you dare say it’s fine sweetheart, cause I know it’s not.”

Flopping back down onto your pillow you let out a sigh, unsure of what to say. The disappointment was twisting knots into your stomach and you could feel the tears beginning to pool in your waterline.

“You’re right it’s not, but I guess I really don’t have a choice.”

“I will explain to the judge and see if he’ll let me go early. I’ll try to meet you there.”

You nodded, utterly dejected at the thought of Matt missing this crucial appointment. What if everything wasn’t okay? Matt wiped at the tear that had escaped and was running down your cheek at the thought of receiving bad news today and Matt not being by your side for it. You should have seen this coming. It was all too good to be true. Matt was letting you down, just like Frank had. Just like all the rest. Your heart broke for yourself sure, but also for your baby. Was this what their life was going to be? A dad who couldn’t show up when it really mattered?

“I guess you gotta make money so we can feed this baby.” you joked with another sigh, causing Matt to grimace at the deflection

He gave you one more quick kiss, heart breaking at the despondence he could feel radiating from you, then he was out the door.

He texted you as much as he could throughout the day to keep you posted, but with 5 minutes to go until the doctor called you back, and Matt being 20 blocks downtown, you knew it wasn’t likely he’d make it in time. You shuffled your feet anxiously against the floor of the waiting room, hoping by some miracle he’d pop through the door.

Of course it wasn’t until you were leaving the doctor’s, appointment complete and paperwork filled with news in hand, that you finally got the text from him.

‘Leaving now. In a cab.’

Fucking of course.

You texted him back.

‘Just finished. Meet at your office instead?’

You’d figure out a way to make him pay you back later for missing out on this, but right now all you wanted to do was get to him and tell him everything.

When the taxi dropped you off, you looked up, Matt’s figure clear in the window of his 5th floor office pacing back and forth.

If you weren’t pregnant and exhausted, you’d have taken the stairs just to punish him with waiting to see you a little longer. Instead you opted for the elevator, rocking on the balls of your feet in anticipation as it seemed to take forever to get up to his floor.

With a ding, the elevator door opened and you stepped forward to see Matt still pacing at the end of the hall. He abruptly stopped and turned as he listened to you make your way to him. You knew your heart had to be beating out of your chest and you could feel a little bit of sweat running down your back.

Clutching the little black and white printout close to your chest, you stood before him, staring into your own reflection in his cherry tinted glasses.

“How’d it go?”

“How was court?” you replied, tinge of hurt dripping in your words

“Not funny sweetheart. We’ll catch up later. The baby?”

“She’s healthy. Right on track still.”

“She?” he asked, smile slowly spreading across his face

Had you been more prepared for Matt missing the appointment, you would have done something cute to tell him like printed a braille sign or something.

“Mhm” you confirmed, holding out the ultrasound

He took it, running his hands over the smooth glossy paper, not able to read what it said but knowing the information on it was life changing.

“We’re having a girl!” he exclaimed

He place the print out on the desk behind him and took your face in his hands. Gingerly, he began to plant soft kisses on each of your cheeks, then your eye lids, then your nose, your brow, your temples, then your lips. You could feel the dampness of tears running down from his shaded eyes as he moved his lips across your face.

“We’re having a little girl.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

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[dreaming-of-epiphanies]

𝓛𝓸𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓭 𝓘𝓷

PART 2 TO LOCKED OUT

Description: Slytherin!fem!Reader and academic rival!Tom finally get a chance to continue their unresolved business from before. (SMUT WARNING)

A/N: This was set up so well for a part 2 I couldn't resist. This is my first time posting smut so I hope you enjoy, because I have some more planned 😈 But seriously, hope you guys like this part 2!

Warnings: Smut (explicit) and bad language.

--

Ebony hair. Dark eyes. That smirk. Long, pale fingers that would feel incredible on your bare skin. You wanted them everywhere on you. You wanted him everywhere on you, in you… 

“Are you alright?” 

The concerned voice of your friend, Eleanor, pulled you from your thoughts, making you jump a little as you looked over at her in surprise. She was watching you sceptically, a slight frown on her face. You’d nearly forgotten she was there.

“Oh. Uh, yeah, I’m fine.” You said with a smile, quickly trying to cover up your awkwardness by dipping your quill into your inkpot, all business-like. Unfortunately, your odd behavior didn’t escape her notice. 

“You know, you’ve barely been doing your work for the past thirty minutes,” she pointed out, gesturing with her quill at your half-finished Arithmancy essay. The parchment hasn’t had a new sentence added to it since you arrived at the library and your brain traitorously wandered off to the same subject it had been going to for days. 

“Yeah, I’m just a little… distracted. I have prefect duty tonight.” You shrugged, hoping she wouldn’t poke around anymore. You weren’t sure how in the name of Merlin you’d be able to explain you were fantasizing about Tom Riddle, should she ask what you were thinking about. He was supposed to be your academic rival, the one infuriating person who scores higher than you and who you were supposed to hate! You were definitely not supposed to wonder how his lips would feel on yours and how he’d feel inside of-

Shut up!

You flashed another smile at Eleanor and she eyed you suspiciously for another moment before turning back to her work. You breathed a sigh of relief before dipping your quill into your inkpot again and bringing it back to hover over your parchment. It took all of twenty seconds for a flash of mahogany eyes to appear in your mind’s eye and you were lost in a daydream yet again. 

Riddle slides his hand across your neck and down your arm, letting it ghost across your skin. He lowers his lips to your collarbone, pressing a light kiss there before letting his mouth descend further down. He snakes one arm around your waist, pushing his hand up your shirt until he reaches the clasp of your bra. Gently nipping at the skin of your chest, he unhooks the bra and slowly drags it off of you, beginning to pull your shirt up as well. He lifts his head and his eyes pierce into yours, all darkness and hunger and you can hardly-

“...hello?” For the second time, Eleanor’s voice brought you back into the present moment. You jolted out of your fantasy and she gave a long sigh, rolling her eyes in exasperation. 

“I don’t know what’s been up with you recently, but you have patrol in thirty minutes,” she said, pointing to the clock behind you. You glanced at it and muttered “shit,” before starting to shove your things away. 

“Thanks for letting me know,” you said sheepishly, buttoning your bag and swinging it over your shoulder. She nodded and then gave you a knowing look. 

“I hope whoever’s on your mind finds a way to get out of it,” she said, and you winced. Great. You hadn’t been as subtle as you’d hoped. 

You left the library, hastily making your way back to the Slytherin common room so you could freshen up before patrolling the halls. You’d barely gotten any work done today- well, actually for the past week- and you were beginning to get more and more frustrated. The sooner Riddle left your mind, the better. You’d had a strange interaction with him once and suddenly he was all you could think about. 

You muttered the password to the common room and shoved away the reminder of you and Riddle outside that very same door less than a week ago. The last thing you needed was to zone out during your prefect duty. 

Hurrying across the common room, you threw a quick glance around to make sure Riddle was nowhere to be seen. You somehow hadn’t seen him since he’d… almost kissed you (or whatever had come close to happening). Now that it had been nearly a week since that had happened, you were dreading running into him again. You just knew it would be awkward and uncomfortable as hell. Besides, with final exams approaching, your mind needed to be clear and focused on studying, not coming up with some stupid daydream of you and him frollicking across the grounds holding hands or something. (Of course, your daydreams about him never went down such… appropriate paths.) 

You dropped your bag on your dorm bed and shrugged out of your casual outfit, changing into your prefect uniform for the night. As you did the buttons to your shirt, you tried not to think about how badly you’d wanted Riddle to rip them away during your- Merlin, what could you even call what happened?- encounter. 

You huffed a little as you grabbed your robe, swinging it over onto your arms. Really, this was an incredibly inconvenient development. You and Riddle had been perfectly fine as rivals! Why did he have to go and almost kiss you? And make you want him to? Rivals shouldn’t be wanting to kiss each other. 

Pinning your prefect badge onto your robe, you resolved to put the encounter you’d had with him out of your head for the night. You had to focus on your patrol. But as luck would have it, the second you opened the common room door to leave, you came face to face with-

“Riddle.” You stopped short, frozen in your tracks as your hand dropped from the door in surprise.

He stared back, clearly having not expected to see you there either. His hair was perfectly smoothed back, as always, and his eyes glinted dark in the muted light from the common room. Your heart jumped a little as you looked at him, remembering how close he’d been to you the other night. Was he going to say something? Kiss you right then and there? Your mind started to whirl with the possibilities before noticing the way his gaze hardened. He didn’t seem happy to see you. 

Quite the opposite, in fact: he flicked his eyes away from yours as he stepped past, making sure to create a wide berth between your bodies. Without a word, he disappeared around the corner of the common room and you let the door swing shut, still frozen in place. 

Yep. Definitely awkward.

You were a little shaken up but forced yourself to lift your head and straighten your robes before setting off down the corridor on your patrol. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two hours later, the sharp click of your shoes on the stone floor was the only sound that echoed through the halls of the castle. It was late at night and nearing the end of your patrol, so you were doing one last sweep of the second floor before heading back down to the dungeons. The corridors were deserted and dark, except for the faint bluish glow of the moonlight streaming in the windows. The portraits were all snoozing and there wasn’t a ghost in sight, so when you saw a flash of movement out of the corner of your eye, it immediately caught your attention. 

Pulling your wand from your pocket, you strode towards whatever you saw, preparing to cast Lumos or Stupefy, depending on what had caused it. 

“Who’s there?” You called quietly, eyes narrowed as you tried to make out any shapes in the shadowy corridor. Nothing made itself known, but you got the distinct feeling that you were being watched. You stopped next to the door of the girls' bathroom, casting your gaze about suspiciously. Still, you couldn’t see a thing. 

Then, almost so inconspicuous you nearly missed it, you felt the light but slightly uncomfortable feeling of someone attempting to read your mind. 

Riddle. 

You quickly shut your brain down with Occlumency, but not all of it. You made sure to leave a little part of your thoughts unprotected, allowing them to be penetrated by Riddle. He was clearly a skilled Legilimens, considering his efforts had nearly escaped your notice and had successfully remained undetected the last time he did it, but now you were prepared. 

You let your annoyance and confusion at him fill the space of your mind you had left exposed, focusing on how strange he’d been acting earlier, allowing him to feel some of your frustration before immediately turning your attention to wondering what had been the cause of the suspicious movement. Just a little flash of your thoughts to give him something to think about. If he could tempt you, you could tempt him. 

You felt the poking at the edges of your consciousness draw away and knew it had worked. Part of you hoped he’d make himself known now, the other wanted him to remain hidden in the shadows so you could return to the common room without another interaction with him 

Luckily- or unluckily, depending on how you looked at it- he stepped into the light, tall, dark, and imposing. He wasn’t supposed to be out this late, no one was except for prefects. But of course he was. Despite being a model student and maintaining a spotless record, Riddle broke more school rules than you’d ever seen anyone break before. And he still managed to get away with it. This time, though, you wouldn’t let him escape breaking curfew without a consequence. 

Maybe you were being slightly petty. 

“You’re out late,” you remarked, lowering your wand as he stood there, still partly obscured by the shadows. 

“As are you,” he said. You tapped your prefect badge in response. 

“I’m supposed to be,” you said, tone slightly charged. “You aren’t.”

He straightened up slightly but remained still. “What are you planning to do about it?” He asked in a voice so low it sent a slight shiver through you as tilting his head to the side, eyes marginally narrowed. A small flame of anger sparked in you. Was he teasing you? Trying to see how you’d react? Was he doing this purposefully? 

You were struck with how similar this was to what brought about the near-kiss with him last week: one of you staying out past curfew, the other tasked with giving them a consequence. The only difference was that Riddle hadn’t written you up last time, but you were planning to give him detention now. 

“Write you a slip for detention, of course,” you said matter-of-factly, pulling a pad of paper and a quill out, already starting to write him up. You heard a small laugh and before you could even write his name, a pale hand was placed on top of the paper pad, lowering it down. You cut your eyes up to him, indignant. 

“Ah, now we don’t want that, though, do we, darling?” He asked in a smooth voice, cocking a brow as his eyes bored into yours. The nickname aggravated you, making you tense up slightly in annoyance. Yes, he was definitely teasing you on purpose now.

He took another step closer, stopping less than a foot away. He was so close you could smell his cologne. The same one from last time, you thought, and a small smirk grew on his face at that as you realised you’d unconsciously lifted the barriers against Legilimency and he could freely read your mind. You quickly shut it down again, angrily forcing him out of your thoughts. 

“Maybe you don’t, but I do.” You pulled the paper away from him, stepping back and continuing to write the detention slip. “At least I was in the library when you found me out past curfew last time. You were just lurking in the shadows.” 

Riddle went silent at this, which was never a good sign. You glanced up despite logic telling you not to, and was met with a slightly foreboding smirk on his face. 

“Have you been thinking about our last encounter a lot, darling?” He asked, apathetically enough, but you could feel the undercurrent of tension in the loaded question. If you’d let him, he could’ve fully read your mind and figured out just how much the memory had been plaguing you. If you told him now, then you weren’t sure what his next move would be. Would he attempt to pick up where you’d left off, or continue avoiding you like he had been all week, which had left you frustratingly perplexed?

“Have you?” You countered, pocketing your quill and ripping off the detention slip. “You have detention, Riddle,” you said, pushing it unceremoniously into his hands. “Saturday at ten.” 

He lifted the detention slip, inspecting it like it could be counterfeit. “Hm,” he said, turning it over in his hands. “What a waste of paper.” Then he tore it in half. 

You clenched your jaw, glaring at him as he looked back defiantly, a smug smile on his face. Merlin, he was such a prick!

“Problem?” He asked innocently, and that’s when you lost your temper. You took a step closer, tilting your head up so you could maintain eye contact with him. 

“You just blatantly disobeyed a prefects’ order. Of course there’s a problem.” You snapped, glowering into his eyes that had a glint of challenge in them. 

“I am a prefect too, as I am sure you’re aware. I can simply invalidate the detention slip,” he said, so smugly confident and completely aware he was the cause of your anger. From the looks of it, he was enjoying it too.

“Only you would deign to be so difficult,” you hissed, stepping closer until you were nearly toe to toe. He looked down at you, smirk still in place. 

“And why should I stop, when the reaction it incites in you is so… pleasing?” He murmured, and all of a sudden you realised just how close you were standing. 

“Pleasing?” You echoed scathingly. Your first instinct was to pull back, to step away before there was a chance for anything along the same lines of what happened before to happen again. But a little flare of fury in you told you to stay, and vex him the same way he had to you. 

“Pleasing?” You repeated, with a more musing tone rather than an angry one now. You dragged your eyes from his down his body and up again, making sure to take a couple extra seconds to look at his lips before meeting his gaze again. “Mm, I like the sound of that.”

You took another step closer, having to almost completely tilt your head back to look him in the eye. Your chests nearly bumped up against each other, and you gently placed your hands on his arms. He glared down at you, a muscle working in his jaw and evidently caught off guard by the turn this interaction had taken.

You were playing with fire, you knew it. If you went too far, you’d get burned. 

But then again, maybe that was what you wanted. 

You lightly drifted one of your hands up his arm and across his shoulder, much like the way he had done to you except in the opposite direction. Placing your palm against the back of his neck, you toyed with the hair there, letting your fingers sift through it and watching the way his breathing got quicker. 

“Who knew you liked when I’m authoritative?” You smiled, using your other hand to trace across his chest, making sure to flick his prefect badge off kilter. He wasn’t on patrol tonight, he didn’t even need to wear it. But of course he did, perfect Riddle. 

“It’s really too bad I can’t use Legilimency,” you continued, biting your lip and feeling him stiffen beneath your touch as his eyes zeroed in on the motion. “I would just love to know what you’re thinking right now.”

Without warning, Riddle brought his hands up to your waist and backed you up to the wall, head bent low so his mouth was hovering over yours.  

“I can hear what you’re thinking, darling,” he hissed, lightly stroking your torso with his thumbs. “I can hear you wishing I’d fuck you.” 

Your breath caught and your mouth fell shut, the previously confident words disappearing as you felt your throat go dry. He leaned in closer, so close you could feel his heartbeat against your chest.

“I can tell you what I’m thinking, too,” he said, voice silkily smooth and laced with danger. “And I’m wanting to fuck you as well.” 

He leaned down and your eyes closed, ready to hungrily meet his mouth, but before your lips could touch he pulled away. Your eyes flew open in fury, about to tell him off, but then you heard the telltale footsteps of somebody approaching. 

Riddle had stepped back fully, and just in time. Professor Dumbledore emerged from the shadows, looking between you and Riddle with an expression of intended ignorance. It was clear he knew what had just (nearly) happened, but was choosing to pretend it hadn’t. 

“Good evening,” he said. “It is rather late for two model students such as yourselves to be out. I believe prefect patrol ended just a few moments ago, if my watch is correct.”

You blanched. You had forgotten all about your patrol. You shot Riddle a dirty look, since he had made you forget, but his eyes were fixed on Dumbledore. 

“Certainly, sir,” he nodded, the perfect picture of obedience. “We were just heading back.”

Dumbledore nodded as well, turning to look at you over his half-moon spectacles. “Please make sure you return to your dorms promptly,” he said with a knowing smile before stepping past you, his long robes swishing behind him. 

You waited until he rounded the corner to turn and glare at Riddle. “Really?” You snapped. “Dumbledore almost caught us-” You stopped your sentence halfway. What had you been about to do? Snog? Makeout? Tumble into the nearest empty room and rip each other’s clothes off? “...You almost got us in trouble.” You finished. 

“Had we gotten into trouble, I was not the one who incited the incident,” he said, not looking at you as turned on his heel and set off for the staircase leading to the lower levels of the castle. 

You let out a groan and followed him, letting your footsteps echo pointedly on the floor as he led you back to Slytherin common room. He didn’t look at you once, but nearly snapped the password at the door once you arrived. 

It swung open and you couldn’t help but let out a scoff. “Didn’t forget the password this time, hm?” You muttered, pushing past him to the staircase leading to the girls dormitories.

“Your behavior is horrendous at times,” he bit out at your retreating form. 

“And you’re an incorrigible prick,” you snapped back, whipping around to face him, your eyes ablaze with anger and ready for an argument. But he had already turned his back and was stalking away towards the boys dormitories. 

You glared at his back for a split second longer before stomping the rest of the way to your dorm. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the week passed without any more interactions with Riddle. Seeing him again had only made you think about the situation even more, and you had barely been able to focus in class due to the anger that always started simmering in your veins whenever you thought of him. Noticing your lack of focus, your friends had convinced you to come with them to the Gryffindor party that weekend, telling you it could help take your mind off things and maybe even give you the distraction of another boy to place your attention on instead. You hadn’t told them it was Riddle yet, but they knew it was something having to do with a guy. 

So on Saturday night, you put on your favorite dress and headed to Gryffindor Tower with your friends. It was around ten, and the party was packed with people. You spotted students from every house, recognizing a few familiar faces from your classes. The one person you didn’t see, however, was Riddle. But you pushed the thought of him out of your mind, trying to follow your friends’ advice and enjoy the party without dwelling on him. 

The party was fun and lasted into the early hours of the morning. It neared one with no sign of stopping. You hadn’t found anyone to “distract” yourself with yet (and honestly didn’t want to), but when a nice boy from Ravenclaw approached, your friends practically shoved you into his arms. 

The two of you danced for a bit, but you couldn’t help wishing it was Riddle’s dark brown eyes you were looking into instead of the boy’s green ones. 

And speaking of his eyes… 

You caught a glimpse of someone glaring at you from across the room, clutching their goblet of firewhiskey with a grip so tight their knuckles were turning white.

It was Riddle. 

And his eyes were shooting daggers. 

Your heart skipped a beat at first, but then you almost scoffed at his expression. He looked jealous. But he’d had two opportunities in less than two weeks to do something about it if he really felt anything for you, and you were done with the near misses. 

Still, you were finished dancing with this Ravenclaw boy, so you removed yourself from his arms when the music came to an end, heading back over to your friends. 

“So? How was it?” Eleanor asked when you stepped up next to her. You shrugged. 

“Fine. But I don’t think it helped.” You frowned, thinking of the way Riddle’s glare was burned into your brain, and she sighed. 

“Well, it was worth a shot. Whoever you’re thinking about must really be worth it, then.”

Your thoughts turned to the guy standing across the room, all darkness and danger and intoxication. You could feel his eyes boring into the back of your skull. 

“I don’t know about that, but I can’t seem to get him off my mind,” you muttered, and took a swig of firewhiskey. 

The party continued on for a while until you decided you were done and wanted to go back to your dorm. You had prefect duty later that day, and had to make sure you were well-rested lest your mind be filled with pointless thoughts about Riddle again. 

Excusing yourself from your friends, you left the party and were nearly halfway to the winding staircase leading to the castle’s lower floors when you heard the sharp clearing of a throat behind you. You closed your eyes briefly in frustration, already knowing who it was. 

“What do you want, Riddle?” You asked in irritation before turning to look at him and immediately getting startled by the speed and anger of which he was walking towards you. With quick, determined strides, he stalked up to you, eyes glinting hard and sparkling with wrath. 

“You are intolerable,” he hissed, towering over you. “You insist on teasing me and making me jealous. Why?” 

“Making you jealous, really?” You scoffed. “You teased me first!” 

“You hardly pulled away.”

You clamped your mouth shut at that, knowing you couldn’t deny it. Still, you were seething with anger and wanted to take it out on him. 

“If you wanted to kiss me, you would’ve done it already,” you said wildly, and Riddle’s eyes narrowed into slits, glinting ruby red in the dim light. 

“I was under the impression academic rivals do not want to kiss each other. Or is that not what you’ve been thinking?” He snapped. 

“You’re right- they don’t. So why did you try to kiss me?” You countered, crossing your arms. 

“Why didn’t you stop me?” He retorted, and with that, he stepped past you, robes brushing roughly against your arm. You let out a scoff. 

“Oh, don’t you dare walk away from me!” 

You chased after him, nearly having to run to keep up. He was headed further into the corridors of the seventh floor, not slowing his pace even as he heard you stomping after him.

“Riddle,” you called sharply. He kept walking, not even flinching at your words or pausing his stride. You let out an aggravated sigh, continuing to stalk after him as he abruptly turned a corner, leading you down a corridor with nothing but a tapestry on one of the walls. All of a sudden, he turned on his heel and whirled towards you, eyes alight with rage. 

“You are impossible,” he thundered, stalking at you before turning on his heel again and pacing the other way. “You are infuriating and maddening and get on my every last nerve.” He turned around, coming towards you again. “You insist on scoring higher than I do, out-competing me for everything, and then refuse to leave me alone.” He spun yet again, stalking back down the corridor away from you before pivoting back to you once more. “You are in my mind during every second of every day and I do not want you to leave it!” 

With that, he grabbed your elbow and tugged you towards a door that you were certain hadn’t been there before. Without giving you time to respond or even process his words, he yanked the door open and pulled you into him before it could shut. Your lips met and immediately it was the most fiery, all-consuming kiss you’d ever experienced. 

His hands grabbed at your waist, clutching you into him as you plunged your hands into his hair, pulling at the strands and hearing him groan into your mouth. He swiped his tongue at your lips and you opened them without a second thought, relishing the feeling of his hot tongue on yours. 

His arms swept around you, pulling you closer into him and you wrapped one arm around his neck, forcing his head down to yours. His lips moved against yours, crushing your mouths together. You experimentally bit lightly at his lip and when he let out a strangled sound, you smirked against his mouth and leaned in more. 

One of his hands made its way to your throat, holding it with a light but firm pressure as the kiss deepened. You could barely think, barely breathe, and-

Fuck. You’d forgotten all about oxygen.

You reluctantly pulled your lips away from Riddle’s, inhaling deeply as your lungs filled with air once more. You were still gasping for breath, but you didn’t think you’d ever been more satisfied to need air. Riddle’s hand was still on your throat and yours were still pushed into his hair. Well, one of them was. The other somehow made its way to his chest and now your palm was resting against it so you could feel his heartbeat. 

You looked up at him and couldn’t help the smile that formed on your face. He hadn’t torn his eyes from you and his chest was still heaving like yours.   

You leaned your head back and steadied your hand on his neck, grinning up at him. “Finally,” you said, and he shook his head, a smirk quickly growing in his face. 

“I second that,” he drawled, leaning in to press another quick kiss to your lips. When he pulled away, you sighed contentedly. 

“I have to say, I’m very glad you tore up that detention slip from the other night,” you told him. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have come to the party and this wouldn’t have happened.” He rolled his eyes, looking fondly down at you. 

“I suppose I have to agree,” he conceded, gently squeezing your waist. You grinned and pulled your arms from around his neck reluctantly. 

“We better get back to the common room, though,” you said. “Before Dumbledore catches us out again.” 

He nodded, though his frown let you know wasn’t happy to leave the room. You weren’t either. If it was up to you, you’d stay for the rest of the night (or longer). 

Reaching for the door handle, you pulled at it only for it not to budge. You tried again. Nothing. 

“Uh…” you stared in confusion at it, only to hear an understanding laugh coming from Riddle. You glanced up quizzically, surprised to see a smirk on his face. 

“It would seem you have discovered one of the quirks of this room,” he said, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. “This is the Room of Requirement. It changes its interior and properties in accordance to the needs of the person who summons it. I summoned a place for us to… interact undisturbed.” 

You looked around the room with interest, noting the regal yet intimate atmosphere. There was a velvety looking couch to your left, a wall of books that stretched to the ceiling, and- your heart leapt- a bed in the far corner of the room.

“You wanted this room?” You asked, not sure what to make of the fact it seemed Riddle thought he needed a bed for whatever interaction he’d had planned with you. An image of him throwing you down on it flashed through your mind and you quickly altered that previous statement with a fluttering in your stomach. You knew exactly what to make of it. 

Riddle nodded, still smirking down at you. “Yes. And as it would appear, you do not want to leave so the Room is… helping us with that, so to speak.” You cut your eyes down to the suspiciously unmoving door. 

“The Room locked us in?” You said, a small, understanding smile forming on your face. Riddle hummed in agreement, reaching out and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“The only question is… what do you need to do in here?” He murmured suggestively, voice low and dangerous. You grinned a little, stepping closer and roping your arms around his neck. 

“Hm, I’m not sure,” you teased, biting your lip in the way you knew he liked. “Maybe we could study for our exams, or discuss what feedback Professor Merrythought left on our essays-” 

Riddle interrupted you with a kiss and you couldn’t help but smile into it, pulling away just enough to get your next words out. 

“On second thought, I think you know exactly what I want,” you muttered before pressing your lips onto his again. He laughed into your mouth, immediately bending down and scooping you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he backed you up towards the couch, leaning you over the arm of it and promptly climbing on top of you. 

“Isn’t there a bed in here?” You gasped, breaking away from his lips long enough to catch a breath before his mouth descended onto your throat and you couldn’t breathe again. 

“Too far,” he grunted into your neck. “Need you now.”

Oh Merlin, you probably could’ve come from that alone. Riddle slid his hands up and down your torso, brushing his palms teasingly over your breasts and you arched your back up, overtaken by sensation and that satisfied little laugh he made at your reaction. His hands reached your thighs again and found their way under your dress, pushing the material up as he ascended his fingers across your bare skin. 

One touch of his hand on your breast had you moaning and you felt him grow even harder on top of you, his grip getting a little firmer as he kneaded at your chest. You wrapped your legs around his torso, pushing yourself into him and he broke away, eyes dilated and lips swollen. 

“Do you want to do this?” He asked, moving one of his hands down to your thigh and sliding it up and down. You nodded, already breathlessly pulling him back into you. 

He kissed you for a few moments more, sliding his hands all about your body and relishing finally being able to touch you that way until you bit at his lip again and something in him clearly snapped. 

He pulled his hands away and you heard the clinking of his belt buckle, followed by a louder clang when it hit the floor. His lips remained on yours as he shoved his trousers down, frantic to get as close as possible. 

Positioning his hips against yours, he continued to kiss you, sliding his tongue against yours and lightly grasping your neck with hand, while the other made its way down to your panties. 

“I like these…” he whispered, fingers toying with the lace fabric. You frowned a little at the strange comment.

“Yes-”

“..but I like them better off.” He finished and the sound of ripping fabric filled the air, but you barely had time to process it before he kissed you again and-

Fucking hell, this man was incredible. His fingers moved against you in such a perfect rhythm you were sure this was a dream. He seemed to know every spot, every little thing you need that it wasn’t long before you were panting and chasing your high, seeing stars form at the edge of your vision

At the last moment, his fingers were pulled away, only to be replaced with-

“Tom-” you gasped, clutching at his shoulders. 

“You can take me, darling,” he murmured against your skin, biting slightly at it. “Just breathe.” 

And then he slid in. Immediately, every other thought and feeling vanished as you were overtaken by the feeling of him inside you. He moved slowly at first, adjusting you and making sure you were comfortable before pulling back and pushing in with a quick, insistent speed. The message was clear: Tom needed you, and he needed you now. 

Your high approached faster than you expected, but from the combination of Tom’s kisses and movements, it wasn’t long before you were pushed over the edge. Tom followed almost immediately, spilling into you hot and collapsing over your body, pressing kisses onto you as you both caught your breath.

“That was…” you panted, running your hands through his hair. 

“I hope you get us locked in here more often,” he said against your skin and you laughed, throwing an arm across your face. 

He sat up, pulling out of you and moving to guide you into his arms. You threw your legs over his lap, hearing both of your breaths slow down. 

“You called me Tom,” he said suddenly, and you blinked in surprise. 

“Did I?” You asked, genuinely not sure, and he nodded.

“Yes,” he said. “Right before we-”

You smiled, shaking your head slightly. “I’m not sure I remember that,” you said teasingly, slowly leaning up and throwing your leg over his hips to straddle his lap. “Maybe recreating the scene will help me recall?”

His lips formed a devilish smirk as his hands came to rest at your hips. “Oh, gladly,” he murmured, already leaning in for another kiss. You eagerly returned it, pushing his head back slightly against the couch before groaning his name again as his hands drifted up under your dress.

“Rivals are not necessarily supposed to call each other by their first names,” he pointed out, drawing back slightly. You grinned and tightened your grip on his shoulders. 

“Rivals aren’t supposed to do a lot of things we’ve been doing, but I can’t say I’m complaining.” You shrugged, biting your lip. 

“No, neither can I,” he agreed with a smirk, before pulling you into another kiss. 

You smiled against his mouth, hoping the door would keep you locked in for a whole lot longer. 

--

A/N (again): Did anyone notice where Tom was when he was "lurking in the shadows?" Second floor of the castle, near the girls' bathroom... thought that would be a fun detail to include. Also, I'm not sure if the Room of Requirement has the particular skill to lock people inside should they want it, but let's assume it does for the sake of the story. Thanks for reading! :)

Credit to @sunder-soul for the headcanon that Tom doesn't do choking. I agree!

aaaand tagging @viperify because we both love academic rival!Tom

[firestormburningflames]

Continued from HERE

@loadedcanons

"...sisters?"

Far as Kasumi knew, she didn't have any sisters, these differences were confusing indeed, but she'd offer Misty a hot chocolate in the private area for her in Cerulean Gym, which was more like a second home with it having a bed, couch, kitchen, and so on, despite her only living nearby in the town.

"There's too much to think or ask about, but one last time, how are you here?"

[pomefioredove]

hellooo !! can i please get a sugar cookie , #2 , with chocolate chips and powdered sugar ??

tc of urself n evrythingg !! i love ur works and i love reading ur writinggg its soo nice i love it <3

keep it up !! ur super duper cool !! o((>ω< ))o

AWEE thank you!! sorry this took so long to post ;w;

order #2, sugar with chocolate chips and powdered sugar

*��✩‧₊˚ a presumptuous affair

summary: kalim mistakes you, a random barista, for jamil's date. you go along with it tropes: coffee shop au, fake dating characters: jamil additional info: romantic, gender neutral reader, reader is not yuu, use of y/n, a little kalim x yuu, kinda long, a kissy

As if today couldn't get any weirder...

For a moment, you had almost believed it was fortune. You made it to work on time despite the snow, your shift manager let you take the afternoon off, even your customers were feeling generous- your tip jar was almost to the brim.

And then it got weird.

"Jamil, look! See how cute these cookies are? It's like they're dressed up for the new year!"

That sparkly ray of sunshine has had his hands and nose pressed against the glass of the pastry case all morning. He's dressed in a Night Raven College uniform, but you can't imagine what someone so cute would be wearing it for.

"I just can't decide what to get! Everything looks so good!"

On the contrary, the taller, quieter, tired-looking boy, the one called Jamil, standing by the door, suited his uniform quite nicely.

"I'm sure the Prefect will be pleased with whatever you choose for them, Kalim. We're going to be late,"

The sparkly one (Kalim, was it?) pouts. "But this is our first new year's party together! Usually, I'd just buy everything, but they said..."

"Only one thing. I know. Surely, with all the time you spend together, you'd know their preferences,"

"I do! But it's hard... you'd understand if you had a date, too, Jamil,"

He narrows his eyes. "I'll be kept busy enough by the party,"

"Aw, that's no fun. You should enjoy yourself, too! If you need any help finding a date, I'd be happy to ask for you!"

"That is completely unnecessary-"

You finish wiping down the case, having shamelessly eavesdropped on the entire conversation. "May I make a pastry suggestion?"

Kalim's eyes widen, as if he'd forgotten you were standing behind the sparkly glass, but Jamil nods.

"Please, please do. And thank you..." his eyes dart down to the nametag on your apron. "Y/N."

"You guys know each other? Oh! I see," Kalim grins.

"Now I know why we came here instead of my favorite place- this is your date!"

The silence is almost worst than the bickering. You and Jamil (perfect strangers, by the way) exchange similar expressions of surprise, while Kalim grins, waiting to be introduced, or... something.

You open your mouth, but before you can explain yourself or the rather presumptuous affair, Jamil nods.

"Yes. This is them,"

He gives you a look that either says "please go along with it" or "I will make you go along with it" but you're too shocked to speak, anyway.

Kalim giggles. "This is perfect! Now I won't have to worry about you being lonely at the party. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I didn't want to take away the attention from yourself and the Prefect," Jamil says, dryly, crossing his arms.

Kalim either doesn't notice his tone, or he ignores it.

"Aw, you guys don't have to worry about that! Here, I'll have one of those, and those... that date pastry for Jamil, and... here!"

He takes out a roll of thaumarks thicker than your hand and forces it into your tip jar.

Jamil's eyes widen with panic. "Kalim-"

"I want to make a good first impression!" he says, and then to you: "I can't wait to see you at the party!"

You finish bagging his pastries, shellshocked, and watch him skip out of the coffee shop like a little kid.

Jamil lingers, seemingly unbothered, and yet apologetic all the same.

"Sorry I dragged you into this, he's been begging for a double date all week. I'll tell him you're sick when the party comes around,"

He turns to leave. Your eyes dart between the tip jar, him, the boy outside, him, your coffee-stained hands, and him once more.

"Wait!"

Jamil stops, one hand on the door, and looks over his shoulder.

You try to stop yourself, but the words spill out of your lips anyway. "What time?"

You had never been inside Night Raven College, but the very last thing you were expecting it to be, anyhow, was warm.

You'd dressed in something thick and wooly for the winter weather, and now you're sweating, there's sand stuck under your nails and cool drinks are being passed from hand to hand.

"You're dressed like a penguin," Jamil whispers, holding you by the wrist and pulling you towards a closet, lined with gold and stuffed with coats and shoes from the partygoers.

"I didn't know it'd be hot!"

Jamil closes the door. "I suppose that was an oversight on my part. But I can't have you afflicted with heatstroke- not under my care, at least. Take off the coat,"

You do as he says. You've learned very little about Jamil over the evening, but he seems to know what he's doing.

"Better, but you're drenched in sweat. I'm sure we have dorm uniforms in your size somewhere..."

A loud, raucous noise that you can only assume was a cheer comes from beyond the door. You're not so sure you want to know.

Jamil notices the look on your face. "Too loud?"

"It's a little... much,"

He scoffs, though there's a smile on his lips, now. "That's one way of putting it, I suppose,"

He begins moving coats and shoes, boxes and chests, looking for something to cool you off. You sit on the floor behind him.

"I apologize again. For making you a part of this. I... didn't think you'd actually come," he says, facing away from you.

"I don't mind. I didn't have any plans for the holiday, anyway,"

Jamil makes a noise of acknowledgement, but, no words. You suppose he's trying to figure you out as much as you are him.

"...Ahem. Well, I'm... pleased to have you here. As much as it hurts to admit Kalim was right about one thing, I did need company today,"

"It's no problem,"

"It's some problem," Jamil scoffs, but he's smiling, too. "You'll have a headache for days after this."

"Then it'll be worth it,"

He seems to give up on finding a uniform, or perhaps he's just forgotten about it altogether, and he sits next to you.

You tilt your head to the side, a smile playing at your lips.

"I think Kalim was right about two things, actually,"

Jamil looks at you as if you'd hit your head on something and started speaking in tongues. "And what is that?"

You point up towards the heavens, or, rather, towards the ceiling of the closet, where a mistletoe has been poorly strung up.

"You should enjoy yourself, too,"

Jamil's eyes widen, but before he can ask who put that thing up there?! your kiss is on his cheek and his stoic demeanor is gone.

"Eh- what was that for?"

You could laugh at his expression, but you don't want to rub it in his bewildered face. Rather, you gently nudge his side.

"For being so kind,"

"Kind?" Jamil repeats the word as if he'd never heard it before. "I would hardly call myself that. I'm only... repaying the favor for your kindness."

You smile.

"I guess I'll just have to keep being nice to you, then,"

[its-avalon-08]

omg I love the protective Daniel post you just did, I feel like max would be so protective too, could I please request max and rival driver reader who always bicker but have undeniable tension..and after a race they’re celebrating at the club and mad max comes out seeing a really creepy guy hitting on her and manhandling her across the dance floor. Reader is a bit shaken up cause she hasn’t had things like that happen in a while since becoming more famous and the creepy guy was a lot bigger than her

and max drives her home and comforts her - I feel a hug from his big strong arms would fix all my problems lolz, maybe leading to some spice?? Thank you!!

hi bubs! im sorry im not super gr8 at writing spice so i didnt include any, myabe in the future! so sorry but hope u enjoy

hands. off. (mv1)

✦ pairing - max verstappen x female!driver!reader

✦ genre - enemies to lovers, angst, creepy guy, confessions, happy ending

The tension was palpable in the team garage as Max and Y/N prepared for the race. Mechanics bustled around, making final adjustments to the cars, while the two drivers stood on opposite sides, glaring at each other.

"You know, Max, just because you have a world championship doesn't mean you're invincible," Y/N said, her tone dripping with sarcasm as she adjusted her gloves.

Max smirked, not looking up from his car. "And just because you're fast doesn't mean you're good enough to beat me. You should focus on keeping up."

Y/N took a step closer, her eyes flashing with anger. "Maybe if you stopped acting like you're the king of the track, you'd see that I'm right on your tail. You're not as untouchable as you think."

Max finally looked up, meeting her gaze with a challenging look. "I'll believe it when I see it, Y/N. Until then, you're just another driver trying to take my spot."

She crossed her arms, standing her ground. "You better watch out, Max. One mistake, and I'll be there to overtake you. And believe me, it'll happen sooner than you think. Until then fuck off."

Max's eyes narrowed. "Bring it on. Just don't cry when you can't handle the pressure."

Their team principal stepped in, sensing the rising tension. "Alright, you two, save it for the track. We need both of you focused if we're going to win today."

Max and Y/N exchanged one last glare before turning their attention back to their cars, the hostility between them lingering in the air.

post race

The race had been fierce, with Max narrowly edging out Y/N for the win. As they walked back to the garage, Y/N's frustration boiled over. She threw her helmet down in exasperation, drawing Max's attention.

"Nice job blocking me out there, Max. Real fucking classy," she snapped, her eyes blazing with anger.

Max shrugged, a smug smile playing on his lips. "It's called defending my position. Maybe you should learn how to do it."

Y/N stepped closer, her fists clenched. "Or maybe you should learn to win without playing dirty."

Max's smile faded, replaced by a cold stare. "I play to win, Y/N. If you can't handle that, maybe you're in the wrong sport."

Y/N's heart raced, not just from anger but from the proximity. She could feel the heat radiating off him, their faces inches apart. "Maybe if you weren't so obsessed with proving you're the best, you'd realize you don't have to be such an asshole all the time."

Max leaned in, his breath hot on her face. "And maybe if you stopped trying to compete with me, you'd see that I actually respect you."

Y/N's eyes widened, the air between them crackling with tension. "Respect? You have a funny way of showing it, Max."

Max's gaze dropped to her lips for a fraction of a second before meeting her eyes again. "It's called tough love sweetheart. You wouldn't want it any other way."

She swallowed hard, her pulse quickening. "Don't flatter yourself. I don't need your respect."

Max's hand twitched as if he wanted to reach out and touch her, but he held back. "Maybe not. But you have it, whether you like it or not."

The intensity of his gaze was overwhelming, making her head spin. For a moment, all the anger and frustration seemed to morph into something else, something neither of them was ready to admit.

"Why do you always have to make everything so complicated?" Y/N whispered, her voice barely audible.

Max's voice softened, the hostility fading. "Maybe because I don't know how else to deal with you. You're... different."

Y/N's breath hitched, her heart pounding in her chest. "Different how?"

Max's eyes softened, and for a moment, the walls between them seemed to crumble. "Different in a way that scares me. And I don't scare easily."

The vulnerability in his voice caught her off guard, and she felt a surge of emotion she couldn't quite name. Without thinking, she closed the distance between them, their bodies almost touching.

"Max..." she began, her voice trembling.

Before she could say anything more, Max leaned in, his forehead almost resting against hers. "Y/N, I..."

The moment was electric, the world around them fading away. For that brief second, all the rivalry, the anger, and the hostility melted into something raw and undeniable. But just as quickly, Max pulled back, the moment shattered and his rough facade was back up.

"We should get back to the team," he said, his voice hoarse.

Y/N nodded, her heart still racing. "Yeah. We should."

As they walked back to the garage, the tension between them was stronger than ever, but now it was laced with something more—something neither of them could ignore.

time skip

The club was alive with music and dancing, the perfect place to celebrate after a hard-fought race. Y/N tried to shake off the lingering tension from her earlier confrontation with Max, letting the music take over as she moved with her friends. But even in the crowded club, she could feel his eyes on her, a constant presence that sent shivers down her spine.

Max sat at the bar, nursing a drink, but his attention was entirely on Y/N. She danced with an easy grace, her movements drawing the eyes of everyone around her, but Max's gaze was different—intense, focused, and filled with the unresolved tension from their earlier confrontation.

As she danced, Y/N's eyes found Max's across the room. The connection was electric, the tension between them palpable. She locked eyes with him, her movements becoming more deliberate, more provocative, as if she was challenging him, daring him to react.

Max's grip tightened on his glass, his heart racing. The room seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them, locked in a silent, charged exchange. He wanted to go to her, to close the distance between them, but something held him back.

Suddenly, a large man approached Y/N on the dance floor, his intentions clear. He moved too close, his hands reaching out to touch her. Y/N tried to step away, but he grabbed her arm, pulling her towards him with a force that made her stumble.

"What the fuck? Let go!" Y/N shouted, trying to free herself.

The man's grip tightened, his voice slurred with alcohol. "Come on, baby, don't be like that. Let's have some fun."

Panic flashed in Y/N's eyes. She was used to handling herself, but this man was larger and stronger, and the situation was spiraling out of control. She looked around for help, her gaze finally landing on Max.

Max's vision turned red as he saw the fear in Y/N's eyes. He pushed his way through the crowd, his protective instincts and anger flaring into his "Mad Max" persona.

"Get your hands off her," Max growled, his voice low and dangerous.

The man looked at Max, clearly unimpressed. "Who the hell are you?"

Max stepped closer, his glare icy. "I'm the fucking guy who's going to make sure you never touch her again. Now, let go."

The man sneered, but Max's cold fury was unmistakable. He released Y/N, but not before giving her a rough shove. She stumbled back, and Max caught her, pulling her close to him.

"You okay?" Max asked, his voice softening as he looked down at her.

Y/N nodded, but her eyes were wide, and she was clearly shaken. "Yeah, just... let's get out of here."

The man, not ready to back down, took a step towards them. "You think you can just walk away?"

Max turned back to him, his expression darkening. "I warned you."

Without another word, Max launched himself at the man, delivering a hard punch to his jaw. The man staggered back, and Max followed up with another punch, knocking him to the ground.

"Stay the fuck down," Max spat, his voice filled with anger.

The bouncers quickly moved in, grabbing the man and dragging him away. Max turned back to Y/N, his expression softening once again.

"Come on," he said, taking her hand. "Let's get out of here."

The ride home was silent except for Y/N’s quiet sniffles. She stared out the window, her hands still trembling. The events of the night played over and over in her mind, and she couldn't shake the fear that had gripped her. She let out a silent sob, tears streaming down her face.

Max glanced over, his heart aching at the sight of her distress. Without saying a word, he reached over and grabbed her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Y/N looked at him, her eyes red and puffy from crying. She squeezed his hand back, drawing strength from his presence.

They drove in silence for a while longer before Max finally spoke. "You don't have to be scared anymore, Y/N. I'm here. I'll always be here."

Y/N nodded, unable to find her voice. The tears kept coming, and she leaned over, resting her head on Max's shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her, holding her close as she sobbed into his shirt.

When they arrived at her apartment, Max turned off the engine and gently lifted her out of the car. She clung to him, too exhausted and shaken to protest. Max carried her inside, navigating the familiar path to her bedroom. He laid her down on the bed and sat beside her, brushing a stray hair from her face.

"Max," Y/N whispered, her voice barely audible. "I was so scared."

Max's heart clenched. "I know. But you're safe now. That guy will never touch you again. I promise."

Y/N looked into his eyes, searching for the strength she always saw there. "Why are you always there for me? Even when we fight, even when we're at each other's throats, you're always there."

Max took a deep breath, his gaze intense. He wordlessly pulled her into a warm, protective hug. His strong arms enveloped her, pulling her close against his chest.

Y/N rested her head on his shoulder, her voice a barely audible whisper. "I've dreamed about this."

Max’s heart skipped a beat. He held her tighter, his own emotions surfacing. "You’ve dreamed about this?"

She nodded, her voice muffled. "About being held like this… safe and cared for. I didn’t think it would ever actually happen."

Max tilted her chin up gently, looking into her eyes with a serious expression. "Y/N, there’s something I need to tell you."

Y/N met his gaze, her eyes filled with vulnerability. "What is it, Max?"

Max took a deep breath, his voice trembling slightly. "I’ve been trying so hard to deny it, but I can’t anymore. I care about you more than I ever wanted to admit. The rivalry, the arguments—they’ve been a cover for what I really feel."

Y/N’s eyes widened, a mixture of surprise and relief washing over her. "Max, I’ve felt the same way. I’ve been pushing you away because I was scared of these feelings. I didn’t want to admit how much you mean to me."

Max’s fingers brushed a tear from her cheek. "I’ve been so caught up in the competition and the fights that I didn’t realize I was falling for you. But now, seeing you like this, I can’t ignore it any longer."

Y/N’s voice was barely above a whisper. "It’s like everything else fades away when I’m with you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before."

Max’s gaze was intense, filled with affection. "You mean everything to me, Y/N. I don’t just want to win races with you; I want to be with you. I want to be the one who’s always there for you."

Tears welled up in Y/N’s eyes again, but this time they were tears of happiness. "I want that too, Max. I want us to be more than just rivals. I want us to be together, through everything."

Max’s smile was tender as he leaned in, his forehead resting against hers. "Then let’s make it real. Let’s be together."

Y/N nodded, her voice trembling with emotion. "Yes. I want that more than anything."

They leaned in, their lips meeting in a kiss filled with all the emotions they had been holding back—passion, relief, and a deep, unspoken love. When they finally pulled away, their eyes locked, both of them knowing that their feelings were finally out in the open.

Max brushed a strand of hair from her face, his smile full of promise. "We have a lot to figure out, but we’ll do it together. I’m in this for the long haul."

Y/N nodded, her heart full. "Together. Always."

Max wrapped his arms around her again, holding her close as they lay down together, both of them finally at peace with the love they had discovered.

[cocodotgreen]

Simynthos - (almost) cc-free

With all testing done I am happy to share with you the (almost) cc-free version of Simynthos today! I was actually surprised by how quickly it could be transformed, and I have to say I'm very happy with how it turned out!

For this version I removed all decorative cc. The only cc you now need for full functionality are the rabbit hole rugs. The lots are so small, there wouldn't have been nearly enough room for the in game rabbit holes. The rabbit hole rugs can be downloaded here.

I still recommend using the performance mods from the original post here, just to make things a little more smooth and enjoyable during gameplay. But they are not strictly necessary. You could also go completely vanilla (more on that below).

There are a couple of things to note:

Some of the double beds are placed against a wall and therefore only one sim can sleep in them now. You can replace them with the one sided beds for two sims, the ones I used in the original version, if you like. The mattresses by sketchbook pixels can be found here, and some nice custom bed frames from @aroundthesims can be found here.

I did make use of @omedapixel's S3DT (Sims 3 Decorator Tool) in two or three places, just to place decorative items on surfaces where they cannot be placed in a vanilla game. You do NOT need the mod for these items to stay in place, as long as you don't move them when redecorating. Then they may slip back into normal mode and you will only be able to place them back with the mod. But it's only in a couple of places, so even if that happens, it will not have a significant impact on your game.

Replacing some of the cc did result in some interactive items not being usable at first, but I hope I caught all of those cases during the (quite extensively 😉) play-testing. So now all interactive items should be usable. If you find any place where an item can't be reached by the sims, please notify me and I will update the world.

How does it run?

I have tested this version of Simynthos in two scenarios: With the routing optimization mods I recommended for the original version (that's the save all the screenshots are from 😉), but also in a completely vanilla game, playing just a small family with one child, and it actually ran pretty well on my gaming laptop, even without any routing improvement mods (my game is optimized though)! If you're going completely vanilla, it may get a bit annoying in some places though, with sims not being able to pass each other, and toddlers not being able to be put down on the ground due to lack of space. But if you do not want to use any mods at all, it would probably still be playable with a small household that doesn't host huge parties 😉

Thanks again to the creators who have made this world possible:

Thanks to @nilxis, the creator of „Sa Pineda“, for the beautiful base to this world. The island on which Simynthos was build is entirely their creation. I did not change the island itself or the terrain painting outside the lots (except for some places where I placed the walkways/paths). All credit for that goes to them! You can find the original version here. Also make sure to check out their other worlds, while you‘ re at it. They are some of my favorite worlds!

Thanks to @nornities for their extremely helpful CAW guide here. Unfortunately I only found this guide when Simynthos was almost finished. I could have avoided some of the mistakes I made, had I found it sooner!

Some of you may know, that I am not the first to make a Greek version of Sa Pineda. Back in 2016 Vendela created Simtorini. This super cute world has the typical blue and white houses another Greek island, Santorini, is famous for. Go check it out here.

Download Simynthos (almost) cc-free (SimFileShare)

Alternative Download (Dropbox)

Link to original post for Simynthos (version with cc)

[zeynsdiary]

ADDICTED | Bruised And Broken

pairing: choi mujin x fem!reader

wc: 3k

warnings: kidnapping, fight scene, torturing, mention of blood and wounds, burning reader’s skin (idk how to word it better), implied past intimate scene (type of), sexual tension

author’s note: sooo this is my first post after a while of not writing anything so you can think of it as a warm up and if you enjoyed this part make sure to check my masterlist. There is no other right now (lol) but I hope there will be :) And thank you for giving a chance to my fic. Love youu

Ropes tight around ankles. upside down and the whole world is spinning. In the middle of nowhere with no possible contact with the organization.

I am fucked, badly. You thought.

No ending tortures just to make you speak -even the thought was ridiculous honestly-.

Questions about Mujin, Dongcheon, the business. All the stuff they had nothing to do with.

It all started a lot prettier.

First try, sweet offers and kind talks. "Tell us this and you will never have to worry about money ever again." lame, you thought. After the very first time that they offered you money all you could think about was how much you would give away to see Mujin’s reaction. You could see his handsome face in the back of your eyes. His intimidating gaze, the between his lips as a side slightly raises up in a mocking way. Only a fool would believe that money could buy loyalty. That it would lead them to success, power. Mujin knew better.

Then they took a stupid guess. Thinking you were not accepting their offer cause you were scared. "Don’t be afraid of mujin, we'll protect you." they said. Little did they also knew they didn't stood a chance. They liked to think that they could.

Sooner or later they realized they were going nowhere with offers. Then they decided on something else. Second try, threat.

Nothing did the job.

You wondered how many days had been since the first knife blow that drew your belly red with your own blood, now the whole fucking room was covered of it, let alone your bruised body. You kept blaming yourself , how did you not realize that their loyalty no longer served for Mujin. How you fell right into their traps all alone. A part of you didn't even wanted to be saved. Even the imagination of Mujin’s disappointed eyes hurt you more than any wound on your body. You were not ready to face the real one. Your body was getting weaker every passing day with the lack of food and the countless hits you endured every few hours. You did not have much time, you could feel it.

The sudden bucket of water pouring down your body woke you from your unconscious state. The man with the ugly smile stood before you upside down. His hand grabbing a fist full of your hair to bring your face closer as he smiled. "Wakey wakey, dollface." he was unnesecarelly loud. "Do you feel like talking today?" he asked. His smile grew like he was happy by your lack of response. It used to piss him off. You frowned, your guts telling you to open your eyes to see what he was up to. So you forced them to and realized the mini red gas cylinder. "You know dollface, I've been thinking lately what should I do to you next. Then guess what, I saw this." his voice was sadistic as he pointed to the red gas cylinder. "And I had an idea. I thought I should get rid of that tatto and maybe then you would start acting less like a fucking loyal dog, huh? You'll be less of being like one of them and who knows maybe you would use that pretty little mouth of yours and give me what I want. Huh, how about that ?" he asked you as if you were talking about weather.

You sick bastard, you wanted to say only if you had the energy for it. But even though you gave him no reaction, the thought of your tatto getting ruined made your heart ache. The tatto was not just a symbol, it was a reminder. A reminder that you belonged to somewhere. That you were not alone.

He walked to the red cylinder with a thong in his hand, he was holding a round metal piece in the size of the tatto with it. He heated the metal as a manicing smile formed on his lips, he was enjoying this. When he was satisfied with its temperature, he walked back to you. "Are you ready dollface?" it wasn't really a question. Without giving you to get ready for the incoming pain he pressed the hot metal on your chest. And he finally made you scream out of pain. Only for a moment, though. You quickly studied yourself and kept all of it in. He didn't like it, he wanted to hear that scream again and again. After reheating the metal he came back. He pressed it on your chest without waiting a second. "Anything that comes to your mind that you'd like to share with me?" his sarcasm making your ears bleed. You couldn't held back your screams and you cursed yourself for giving him the satisfaction.

Then something happened, you heard a door breaking. After that, the chaos followed. You would recognized the voice of blade cutting through someone's skin at anytime and now wasn't the exception.

The organization will protect you.

Now it was your time to smirk at his face. To enjoy every bit of his smirk fading and leaving its place to panic. He threw the thong away and rushed to the side to release the knot on the rope and slowly lowered you to the floor. He grabbed one of the knifes he's been using on you and released your ankles but wrists remained tied together. He was aware how little time he had and he was panicking. He dragged you to your feet and pressed your back on his front with a knife pressed to your neck. You couldn't move a muscle while they waited facing the door, waiting for the storm to come in. You didn't have the energy.

Eyelids too heavy and mind too dizzy. But every inch of your body felt his presence. No aura can compete, no traitor can no longer breathe.

You forced your eyes open, every bit of you were craving to feel his eyes. But also afraid of what you might find there.

Mujin stood still and took in what was in front of him. A table full of all type of tools, most of them tinted red, ruined clothes next to it. Your blood all over the place, all wounds and bruises on display. His eyes finally landed on yours.

There he was, looking way too perfect right in front of you. Looking as presentable as ever while you stood in your underwear's in front of all those man. Bruised and broken. You saw something in his eyes for a split second, an emotion. But what was it?

Sympathy? Disappointment? Or worse, pity? No, no. Please don't be pity.

You would be more ashamed by it more than all the gazes on your too bare skin. How ironic, isn’t it?

The man behind you tightened his grip, "Stay away. If I die, she dies." he was playing his last cards. There was no way out of this for him. He knew it too. You gulped and turn your eyes to Taeju. His eyes were burning with rage as he took in your state. You also took in his. Hair a little messy, some blood stains on his shirt. None of his own. The thought made your lips quirk a little. Of course none of it was his own. Then you saw the blade in his hand and you found your plan to get out of the mans grip. You and Taeju locked eyes, you knew he read right through your eyes but Taeju saw nothing that he liked there. You felt Mujin’s eyes too. He was well aware that you were up to something. You communicated well in silence. Both man trying to make you stop with their eyes. You kept your eyes on Taeju, cause if you saw the order in his eyes you would have no other option but obey him. You did not want that.

Taeju shook his head in a slow motion. But gulped with acceptance when he saw the determination in your eyes.

You no longer could hear any of the threats the guy swayed around. Only kept your eyes locked with your partner as you waited for the right moment to make your move.

Just when the guy pointed his knife through them instead of your neck you collected every energy remaining in your system and get back in your fighting mode. You threw your head back in full force. The guy groaned in pain with the unexpected hit and released his grip around your body. With a swift motion you kicked the wrist of the hand that he held the knife with. As the knife hit the floor you also dropped to the very same cold floor and leave the rest to your partner. Taeju threw his knife right on the guys neck without waiting a second and rushed to your side.

Mujin was faster. The moment he read the situation he step further and catch you before you hit your head.

The drug lord, on his knees, what a sight.

Mujin quickly took his jacket off and wrapped it around your almost naked body. You were nearly unconscious in his arms. Couldn't keep your eyes open. Even the little bit healed wounds were open back with your kick. Your shallow breaths were signs of your hurt.

You needed a professional's help, quick.

Without leaving a time for you to protest Mujin took your whole body in his hold and carried you with an arm on your back and the other under your legs. Your head resting on his chest. Your last words were: "I'm sorry."

…

Two weeks has passed while you were unconscious. Mujin brought you to the temple after your rescue. Made sure you were well taken care of and safe. He came to visit you every other day and ordered Taeju to do so at the days that he couldn't. You were his second subordinate, your health mattered. And that was the only reason of his worries and sleepless nights while you were nowhere to be found. He deceived himself into thinking that that was it.

He may or may not succeed it.

There were some things Mujin never welcomed in his organization nor his business. But the top of the list belonged to the traitors. He worked extra hard on the topic after the incident. Making sure the same thing never happens ever again. He blamed himself just like you blamed yourself.

I shouldn’t have send her there alone. I should have been more careful.

While Mujin was on his car driving, you woke up. Slowly recognizing where you were, you knew the place. Your whole body aching, you slowly got up. Trying to remember what happened, you walked to the full length mirror. Carefully holding the sweater up to check on your wounds. It was hard to tell, all of it was covered with white bandages. Eyeing around the room, everything looked like how you remembered it. The only new thing was the folded clothes and a hair tie on the wooden desk, waiting for you. An idea of fresh shower became too hard to resist and you took the clothes and walked to the bathroom.

Warm water running through your body was relaxing with a little bit of pain. You took the wet bandages off to replace them after shower with fresh ones. You checked your wounds, they looked better than you last remembered but they still needed time to fully recover. You took your time in the shower and after shower. Re-bandaged yourself with the kit in the bathroom, brushed your hair with your fingers as best as you could. Then you decided to braid your hair like you do it all the time while you work. A part of your unique uniform, giving that you are the only female in the Dongcheon. While the men wears black suits with white shirt, your uniform was looking presentable. By all means. Mostly wearing black or white, hair usually braided and that was it.

You opened the door to get back in the room without knowing you had a visitor. Boss. Mujin.

He was dressed in all black with a long coat. His cigarette between his lips, a hand in the pocket. watching outside from the open doors. He turned his face to acknowledge you. You quickly bowed after you two made an eye contactact.

You were tense and he was aware.

"Did I kept you waiting for too long?" You asked after a while to fill the silence.

He took a long drag of his cigarette before he answered, "Hmm."

"I'm sorry."

He didn't say anything back. Kept smoking his cigarette in silence. After standing next to door for a whole minute watching him awkwardly you decided to do your own business. You grabbed the hair tie on the desk and went back to the mirror. Your back turned to Mujin so that you could act like he wasn't there and unnerve your tensed muscles. Right when you saw your reflection in the mirror you realized that you did not wear the sweater on after bandaging yourself.

Nothing he hadn't seen multiple times before anyway but...

Another realization midway, you were right in front of him with only a bra on your upper body and he didn't even glance.

You gulped, how should I feel about that?

You could have linger on that thought for way longer if you didn't get distracted by something else. Your tattoo. No, your ruined tatto. You held out your arms to braid your hair with your eyes focused on your chest. Something was hurting, either the cuts on your arms or your heart, you didn't know. Like how you didn't know there was another pair of eyes on your body. Watching you secretly.

When you turned your back to him, Mujin started watching you more freely. He saw the look on your face and didn't like what it made him feel. He took long steps and stopped right behind you. He held your hands in your hair and whispered, "Let me,". He slowly pulled the hair tie from your wrist, taking his time while doing so, enjoying the little contact you were sharing.

You took a deep breath and obeyed. Letting your hands drop to your sides.

Mujin caught the rhythm change on your breathing and your muscles tensing. Your figure standing straighter, he was well aware of your body reacting to him. He braided your wet hair, his fingers touching your skin then and there. He caught on the shivers too.

You watched him through the mirror. Carefully working on your hair, gentle as ever. His scent mixed with cigarette filling your insides. You didn't realize how much you missed it until he was this close.

"How are you feeling?" he asked in a low tone.

You decided to be honest, "Hurts but nothing unbearable."

Silence, again. It was your turn to fill it.

"I’m sorry." You apologized again. You both knew what it was for.

He remained silent, finishing the braid. Your head dropped down. You needed him to say something, anything. Every passing second tightened in your chest. Desperate for his reaction, to know what he was thinking of the situation, of you.

Mujin tied your hair and gently held your arms at both sides. He silently smelled your hair. Loud enough to make you suspicious of it, not enough to be sure whether he did it or not.

You turned around, thinking about apologizing again. You were not ready to look in his eyes just yet but when he held your chin in between his thumb and index finger, tilting your head up. You knew it was a silent command.

Look at me.

You obeyed, like always.

"It wasn’t your fault."

Right when you opened your mouth to say otherwise he closed it for you. "It wasn’t."

You looked in his dark eyes, you felt relieved. He didn't look disappointed in you, you could finally let out the breath she was holding in now.

Faces too close, lips inches apart. You wondered who you were right now.

Boss and his subordinate? CEO and his servant? Muse and his admirer? Or just Mujin and Aera?

While you were deep in thoughts Mujin’s hand snaked to the back of your neck from your chin. Holding you form as he pressed his lips to your temple. Too light to consider as a kiss but still there.

You held yourself back from clinging to his collar and beg for more. Afraid of losing the little contact you were having so you stood still.

"I'm glad you are okay."

His voice too low you thought you imagined it, almost. Without giving you time to process any part of this interaction, he stepped back. Putting distance between your bodies before it gets risky. You were too stunned to speak, to move.

"You need to rest." he was leaving.

He took off a phone from his pocket and handed to you. "Contact us if you need anything."

In another word: you are staying here.

You simply nodded, there was no use of denying him.

You watched him leave through the door without another glance.

Boss and his subordinate. You decided on. But at least his.

Lmk if you wanna be tagged babes :)

[yumeka-sxf]

A follow up to my last post regarding the SxF manga's recent hiatus: the official Shonen Jump+ Twitter account finally gave an explanation today - the hiatus is due to Endo's poor health.

It's a relief that we finally know what happened and all the crazy rumors disguised as facts that have been floating around on social media can be put to rest (though I wish they would have said something sooner so the rumors wouldn't have spread in the first place, but better late than never).

I'm sad that Endo's health has been poor though 😥 I really hope he gets well soon and whatever's wrong with him isn't too serious. Since they haven't changed the December 23rd release date, perhaps that means he's getting better 🤞 I won't go into detail here since I already vented about this topic before, but people seem to forget that Endo is a person just like any of us, a person who can get sick or have any number of personal issues come up, which should take priority over keeping up a rigid manga schedule. Even if he has to take an even longer hiatus in the future, whatever's best for him is, ultimately, what's best for the SxF manga.

[yuikomorii]

AYAYUI IDOL AU: Chapter 6

// This might be one of my favorite chapters I’ve written so far! I tried to blend some fun with a bit of seriousness, so I really hope you’ll enjoy it. It’s kinda SPICY at some point, hehehe. I know it takes me a while to post new chapters, but I promise I haven’t forgotten about this fanfic, sometimes I just don’t have enough time. T-T

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

— Ayato opens the door —

Ayato: Haa… What happened?

Chief: Come with me! It’s about Subaru-san!

Ayato: Subaru?

Yui: ( Eh? That’s Ayato-san’s co-worker, right? I hope it’s nothing bad…! )

Place: Reception

Manager: Unfortunately, the cooking contest, as well as the filming, will be stopped for today.

Subaru-san picked a dish to make with one of the girls here, but he didn’t know it had garlic in it. After tasting it, he started feeling sick—bad enough that he had to throw up.

Ayato: Damn it…

Yui: ( Come to think of it... he’s in a group with a vampire concept and he has garlic intolerance. I can’t help but find this a bit ironic. )

( Still, poor Subaru-san... get well soon. )

Ayato: I’m going to check——

Manager: Don’t. Subaru-san is most likely resting now. He needs sleep more than anything after what happened.

Ayato: Tch… fine. But let me know when he wakes up!

Manager: Once he wakes up, I'll ask him to contact you. In the meantime, since you two share a room, I’d appreciate it if Ayato-san could spend his time elsewhere in the hotel.

Ayato: ( Did I indirectly get kicked out—? )

Well, whatever. But where exactly am I supposed to go?

Chief: Actually, now that the contest's cancelled and the other team is not present anymore, the onsen is completely free for you!

Ayato: Heh, is that so?

Chief: Y-Yes, but... since you, mister, are a celebrity, I’ll need to look for a private key first.

Can’t have fans fainting in the hallway if they see you half-dressed, right?

Ayato: Pfft, true… wouldn’t want to cause a stampede in a towel. But hurry up then. The sooner I’m in the hot water, the better~!

— Chief nods and starts searching —

Yui: ( I feel like I’m just a third wheel at this point, so it might be better if I quietly leave too. )

( Besides, my job is supposed to be done for today… and Ayato-san probably wants some space anyway.)

Chief: Wait! I almost forgot about Komori-san!

Yui: Hm? What’s with me?

Chief: Since you were Ayato-san’s cooking partner, the original deal included you getting a chance to use the onsen too, no?

I’ll find a key for you too, in case you want privacy! Just give me a sec——

Yui: …!

( Eh—!? Me? In the onsen? With Ayato-san still around? That’s…! )

Chief: Here they are~!

— hands them the keys —

But I should also mention... because the onsen is a relatively new feature of the hotel, we only have one single room so far. So, uhm... it would be great if you two wouldn’t go at the same time.

— Yui blushes —

Yui: ( Just one onsen... but what if we truly run into each other? )

Ayato: Alright, I’ll go there right now. You can go after I’m done, ‘kay?

I’m not exactly in the mood to wait around, so I’ll make it quick, no worries.

Yui: S-Sure, take your time.

Ayato: Will do~

— takes key and leaves —

*timeskip*

Yui: ( I wonder if he’s done by now… it’s already been three hours. )

— looks at clock —

( Yeah… I suppose he must be. I should start getting my things ready. )

— walks over to her bag and gets her towel —

( I hope the water helped him relax. He did seem tense after all… )

— leaves room —

Place: Onsen Entrance

Yui: ( It’s so quiet... he definitely left, didn’t he? )

( A-Anyway, I should knock or say something, just in case. )

*Knock Knock*

Uhm… Ayato-san? Are you still there?

*Knock Knock*

( No answer once again… )

— tries the handle —

( It’s locked? )

( Ah, he most likely locked it after he left, right? Yeah… that must be it. There’s no way he’d still be inside after all this time. )

— opens door with key and gets inside —

( Just as I thought, nobody’s here! )

— locks door —

( Hehe, time to finally relax! )

— starts unbuttoning her clothes —

( This indoor onsen is way bigger than I thought… The ceiling’s high, the walls are lined with smooth stone, and the pool is so huge that it almost covers the whole room! )

( No wonder the second one isn’t finished yet. This must’ve taken forever to build. The attention to detail alone is amazing! )

— slowly gets into water —

Ah~ so warm…!

( And to think they let me use this… I guess being partnered with Ayato-san really came with some unexpected perks, fufu. )

— stretches —

( So good… I feel like I could instantly fall as—— )

* Ring Ring *

( Eh!? Someone’s calling? )

— her eyes snap open—

( Wait! That’s... that’s not my ringtone? )

( Don’t tell me—! )

Ayato: “Haa... What is it this time?”

Yui: ...!

( That voice… it’s coming from the other side of the divider! )

( No… no, it can’t be— )

Ayato: “Yeah, it’s just me, why? Heh, so he finally woke up? Damn, can’t blame him though, since I had a pretty long nap too. So how is he feeling?”

“Oh, understandable. You took mine too? Mhm, it’s better this way.”

Yui: ( He… He’s been here the entire time…! )

( If he finds out I’m in the same onsen while he’s still inside, I’ll surely get in troubles! )

( What if he thinks I planned this!? )

Ayato: ( Ugh, my phone's dying.)

"I'll call you again, just need to find an outlet for my charger, 'kay?"

Yui: ( Ah, he's coming this way...! )

— gets underwater —

Ayato: ( Now where are the outlets supposed to be? Can’t see any at all. )

Yui: ( Did he leave? I don’t know how much longer I can hold my breath… )

( The water is so hot too…! )

Ayato: ( Whatever. I’ll just leave it like this for now. )

( More importantly… what is that? )

— gets closer —

Yui: ( Uuh… this pressure…! )

( I… I can’t… brea—— )

*SPLASH*

Ayato: Care to explain what the hell you’re doing here?

Yui: Aya…——

— faints —

Ayato: Fuck…!

— pulls her out of water —

*timeskip*

— Yui starts coughing —

Yui: Ngh... ah... I-I'm alive!

( But wait… why can’t I move? )

— eyes widen —

( No way! I'm tied to a bamboo stick!? )

Ayato: Finally awake, huh.

Yui: A-Ayato-san!

— face turns red —

( I-I can’t even cover myself...! This is beyond embarrassing! )

( To think that he really went as far as to tie me up… that’s completely unreasonable! )

Yui: D-Don’t look at me like that!

Ayato: Tch. You're in no position to tell me what to do.

Besides, you should be grateful I didn’t report you. Most people would’ve called the cops by now, don’t you think?

Yui: I-It’s not like I did it on purpose! I merely assumed you left! The door was locked, and… and I had a the key too, so… it’s just a misunderstanding, I swear!

Ayato: A misunderstanding, huh?

Tell me then, did you even bother checking the whole room before stripping down? If you had, you would've definitely noticed I was still here.

Yui: That’s… I can’t argue with that. But I truly didn’t have any bad intentions, I was just careless!

Ayato: And why should I believe you’re not just some stalker?

You know I’m famous. You’ve listened to my music and watched my MVs—based on what you said in the kitchen. And then there's the fact that, when we first met, you acted like you didn’t recognize me at all. Even though you're working at Yume no Mori, the very hotel that’s known for hosting events for idols.

And now, after everything, you somehow end up in the onsen at the exact same time as me?

Wherever I go, you just happen to show up too. So tell me, how do you think that looks from my perspective?

Yui: I-I think you must be mixing me up with someone else. When did I even pretend not to recognize you, Ayato-san?

Ayato: Haa… When you handed me that bottle of water outside the club, you moron!

Yui: Eh?

( What is he talking a— wait a second! The bottle of water…? )

…!

— eyes widen in shock —

( No way! Ayato-san… he was the boy I met on my very first night in Tokyo!? )

( The one who had a chest ache… who paid for my taxi… That was him! )

Ayato: Now quit playing dumb, it’s crystal clear you coming here was not an accident.

So what’s the deal with you? Are you really that desperate to get a glimpse of my body? Or is this just part of some sick little obsession you’ve got going on? Either way, it’s disgusting!

Yui: N-No! You got it wrong! I didn’t even know it was you that night!

I just saw someone who looked like they needed help, so I offered some water… that’s all!

And as for me being here... I didn’t come chasing after you or doing anything weird! I got this job through a work exchange program. It was all just a coincidence, not some plan to follow you around!

Ayato: Tch, when will you stop lying?

Yui: But I’m not!

Ayato: ( She’s not only dumb, but also got a damn big mouth. )

Fine, I’ll believe you.

Yui: ( Phew, thanks goodness… I really thought I got him mad. )

Ayato: But don’t start celebrating just yet. I’ve got a condition.

Yui: ( That tone… It’s never good when someone says "but there’s a condition" like that. )

Uuh… what kind of condition?

Ayato: Simple. You don’t tell anyone that you saw me at a private club that night. Not your friends, not your family, not your coworkers, not even your boss—no one.

— gets closer —

Actually, I want you to forget the whole thing. Erase it from your memory. You didn’t see me alone in Tokyo, and you sure as hell didn’t hand me a bottle of water in some alleyway.

Yui: ( That’s it? )

Yes, I promise.

Ayato: You better keep that promise, because if word gets out that I was in such a place, especially unguarded, it’ll stir up more trouble than you can imagine. One stupid rumor, and my entire career could take a hit. You get that, don’t you?

Yui: I-I do.

Ayato: Good. Then zip it and stop following me around. Or next time I won’t be this generous.

( I already took pictures of her in here. If she ever decides to snitch on me, I’ll make sure she goes down too. )

— unties her —

Yui: …!

Than——

Ayato: Don’t thank me. Just go put some clothes on. Then leave the onsen immediately.

— Yui nods —

Yui: ( He's scary when he's like this… But I guess I can't really blame him, can I?)

( It was stupid of me to come in without checking properly... so, I suppose it was indeed my fault. )

( To think he’s the boy I met that night after I first arrived in Tokyo... that truly caught me off guard. )

( Just what kind of person are you really, Ayato-san? )

I-I’m done!

Ayato: And why are you telling me this? You expecting an award or something?

Just unlock the damn door and leave already.

— Yui starts searching key —

Yui: ( Now where did I put it? I know I had the key when I came in… maybe it slipped into the towel?)

— checks towel —

( Oh no… it's not here either? Don’t tell me I dropped it somewhere in the changing area? Or worse… in the water!? )

Hey… Ayato-san? I… I can’t really seem to find my key, so could you maybe lend me yours…? J-Just for a second! I promise I’ll give it back right away!

Ayato: ( Seriously!? First she breaks in, then she nearly drowns, and now this? )

You're telling me you managed to lose a single key in a closed room in less than two hours?

Yui: Uhh… I must’ve dropped it somewhere without noticing...

Ayato: Haa…

— pulls out his key —

I guess if you beg nicely, I might give it to you.

Yui: B-Beg!?

Ayato: …Or do you wanna stay locked in here all night and explain yourself to the hotel staff tomorrow?

Yui: No, no!

Ayato: Good, then be a good dog and do as I tell you.

Yui: ( A dog, huh…? If that’s what you really want… )

— sits on all fours and looks at him —

Ayato: …!?

Yui: P-Please, give me the——

Ayato: You… you obscene bitch!

Yui: Eh?

( Wait what? )

Ayato: ( What the hell is wrong with her!? To sit on all fours in front of a man who’s only wearing a towel… did she want to suck me off!? )

Leave me alone already!!!

Yui: But I—

Ayato: I-I said leave me alone!

— shoves her out then shuts the door —

Yui: Ayato-san…

Yui’s monologue

So many things happened today… It’s almost overwhelming trying to piece them all together.

From carrying the luggage, to cooking with Ayato-san… and then—

The onsen. That whole incident. My heart still hasn’t stopped racing…

I came to Tokyo with simple intentions: to work, to learn, and to make new friends.

And yet…

The boy I met on my first night here and the one I couldn't stop thinking about…

He turned out to be Ayato. Ayato, the frontman of SAKAMAKIS. A name everyone knows. A face on billboards.

Someone so far removed from my world, it's really laughable to think we’d ever cross paths again—

Yet we did.

But instead of a reunion, it felt like rejection.

I made a mistake… and now he sees me as nothing more than a nuisance. Maybe even worse.

I keep telling myself that it shouldn’t matter. That it’s impossible for an ordinary person to get closer to an idol.

But then…

Why am I crying now?