#tom was also there. and alex too. i guess

[timehascomeagain]

Me and my bf❤❤❤❤

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

PROPAGANDA

BUMBLE (WARRIOR CATS) (CW: Domestic Abuse)

1.) Back with another Warriors submission, I bet you’ll be getting a lot from other people too LMAO. Bumble is a kittypet (housecat) who befriends the male protagonist Gray Wing’s girlfriend, Turtle Tail, and lets her stay in her house. This gets Gray Wing all pissy because he’s controlling of Turtle Tail and shares most of the wild/clan cat’s proclivity for looking down upon kittypets. Turtle Tail gets pregnant by another kittypet, Tom, who tries to control her by hiding the fact that humans take away kittens after they’re born. Eventually Bumble comes clean about it so Turtle Tail returns to the forest. Some time later, Bumble is found in the forest seeking refuge because Tom has been physically abusing her, scratching her where the humans can’t see. So, she’s CANONICALLY ACKNOWLEDGED as a domestic abuse victim (unlike Squirrelflight who meets all the textbook signs but the narrative and authors deny it). How do you think our good guy protagonists, i.e. Gray Wing “The Wise” and Turtle Tail, respond to an abuse victim seeking refuge? They tell Bumble to go home, thinking to themselves that she’s fat and soft and therefore would be useless in their group. Bumble stands up for herself and asks to speak with the leaders of the group. One of them asks if Bumble could just get along with Tom better (bro???) and when Bumble says it’s not within her control, the leader suggests being nicer to the humans instead. Another rival leader butts in and verbally abuses Bumble again by ripping into how fat and lazy and useless she would be. Despite Turtle Tail having been friends with Bumble and Bumble had helped her through her own hard times, to Gray Wing’s approval Turtle Tail chooses not to intervene as Bumble is forcibly escorted back to her abuser. But that’s not all. Later Bumble is found in the forest maimed and dying, and it seems likely that Gray Wing’s brother Clear Sky, a male with a long history of violence, is the culprit. Rather than mourn the dying innocent cat, Gray Wing’s primary concern is how other cats might be mean to Clear Sky if they think he’s a murderer, and reassures himself that refusing to help Bumble in her time of need was still the right decision.

2.) I have no idea how she managed to be written so horrifically from an abuse victim and woman (/she-cat I guess) standpoint but here we are. Okay so my memory is a bit fuzzy but basically Bumble was a character in Dawn of the Clans and a close friend to Turtle Tail, a major character, as well as a character who lived close to Tom, an abusive dickhead of a cat. Bumble was largely depicted as just a really sweet cat. Turtle Tail was very briefly the mate of Turtle Tail, but once she got pregnant, he became super violent towards both her and our gal Bumble. Tom actively hid the fact that, once her kits were old enough, Turtle Tail’s kits would probably be taken from her, and made Bumble keep quiet about this too, but Bumble eventually told Turtle Tail the truth, Turtle Tail left and Tom became extremely violent towards Bumble because of this, and was extremely abusive towards her. Eventually, Bumble ran away from him to where Turtle Tail and co were and begged to stay, since the wilderness as a whole was genuinely more safe than being around Tom was. Naturally, this meant kitty xenophobia from cats who had only arrived in that area recently, because everybody was insistent than, since she was a kittypet/house cat, things wouldn’t work out, and even her friend Turtle Tail denied her on this, insisted she was too soft to live in the wild and only sent her towards a cat Bumble wanted to convince because she was absolutely certain she’d be denied. Also our good old protagonist Gray Wing got to spend this scene being all upset about this soft cat wanting to join them to escape an abuser and was all bitter about the fact that Turtle Tail lived with her for a short period of time, and he also got to have a sweet romantic moment with Turtle Tail after denying an abuse victim an escape from her abuser. Also as much as I like Tall Shadow usually she sucked ass in the following scene because she was essentially telling Bumble to go find a way to make peace with Tom as if she was not the one being abused (Bumble pointed out that Tom was the one who would need to make peace for it to happen, not her) and that she should just make life better by going back to being a housecat and being spoiled despite the fact that she was actively at risk with her owners because of Tom. Then she leaves after being threatened by several cats there and is called soft on the way out. The next time she appears she is literally dying, and her death is just a plot device to create a stupid little mystery which is solved in a very stupid way. Also her abuser does continue to be a shithead and for some reason is fully permitted to kidnap his own children but he also gets a heroic death and the only reason I will not rant more about him is because this is too long already. Long story short Bumble deserves the world and everybody who decided not to let her escape her abuser just because they thought she was soft sucks

3.) Is nice to the group of starving, feral wild cats that left the mountains so their friends and family could have more food to eat and befriends one of them to the point of opening her home to her after she leaves the group because the guy she likes is too dumb to notice she likes him and keeps falling for his brother’s love interests.

Unfortunately, because Bumble is a house cat who lives in a house with people and not a Wild and Free cat, this is a grave and horrible crime (luring a wild cat into the safety and comforts of domesticity) and is villainized for the rest of the arc, including for things wildly out of her control

I.E.

Her owners taking in an aggressive male cat that bullies and abuses the two female cats already living there

When Bumble’s friend leaves and goes back to the wild cats, Bumble leaves her home (as the abuse as has gotten worse) to see if she could either get help or have her friend return so the abuse isn’t as bad again)

Bumble eventually dies in the wild because the feral cats all hate her for ‘stealing’ their friend and tricking her into becoming a kittypet for awhile and refuse to help Bumble adjust to wild life or even teaching her how to hunt.

They are littl e to no hard feelings at her death beyond ‘good riddance’ but the aggressive tomcat that chased her out of her home is later regarded with good feelings and regret at such a ‘good, heroic cat’ passing when he dies despite him literally never doing a good or kind thing in his life and actually causing trouble for the wild cats right before dying

ALEX DEWITT (DC COMICS)

1.) The term “fridging” is literally based on Alex and what happened to her. She was killed off violently by a bad guy trying to get at her boyfriend only a couple issues after she was introduced (making it obvious they only brought her in to kill her off for shock value). Her death did very little to the narrative other than hurt her boyfriend Kyle and was done in an exceedingly horrifying and violent way. (Bad guy came to the door with flowers and threatening note, broke in and attacked her, choking her to death, before [off panel] chopping her body up and sticking it in the refrigerator as a “surprise” for her boyfriend. This obviously is really fucked up and she deserves better and should win this actually (a vote for Alex is a vote for all fridging victims [in spirit])

2.) It doesn’t get much worse than being the character whose death originated the “fridging” trope. In Green Lantern Vol. 3 #54, Kyle Rayner comes home to find that Alexandra, his girlfriend, has been killed by the villain Major Force and stuffed into the refrigerator.

Alexandra DeWitt is the character whose misogynistic treatment coined the term where a character, usually female, is killed off purely to make the main character, usually male, feel bad. Even if there are other characters who have been subjected to similar levels of misogyny, Alexandra DeWitt’s treatment has been essentially immortalized.

3.) I know she’s not going to win but shout out to my home girl, literally the trope namer for women shoved in fridges. All anyone ever knows about her is that she was Kyle’s girlfriend and got murdered for his character development, even though she had plenty of potential to be her own character.

[panelshowsource]

rather than who you would like to see on the next taskmaster series, who do you think will be on it? like just your predictions or any inklings you may have!

anon if you're still around then you'll know i really took my time with this hahaha so sorry! i hope anyone reading this takes it as just a bit of fun and nbd, who knows who we'll get or who alex & the network have in mind! i'm answering thoughtfully (bc i always feel guilty not to 😩 so sorry this is long lol) but it's really just fun!!

i will say, of the more recent-ish series, i did get a few right!!! krishnan guru-murthy, nicola coughlan, alan davies, judi love, sue perkins, john robins, and joanne mcnally were people i just knew would eventually be on if the show could get their schedules right, and i was also certain sarah millican and dara ó briain would be asked — though not necessarily that they'd actually agree. when you have a level of seniority and esteem, the "it's such a great opportunity" aspect of the show isn't such a draw 😅 for some reason i feel SO PROUD about guessing nicola! i was just WAITING and wish sooooo much she had done a full series 😭😭😭 (how fun would saoirse-monica jackson be too!)

anyways, as for people who haven't been on yet — and this isn't to say i want them all to be, just that i think it's likeliest they have been asked or will be asked; i talked about who i want to see a little while ago here — it's important to consider the casting 'roles' the network has in mind when working with the producers to form a series, so i will keep that in mind too!

established comedian, typically a straight white man over 40: bill bailey, vic reeves, harry hill, geoff norcott, kevin bridges, adam buxton, ade edmondson (tommy tiernan? god i feel bad for not saying ed byrne but why do i feel like he's not gonna make it in the next few series? i'm on the fence with nick helm — unless he's friends with alex, then his chances go up significantly imo — and tom allen for some reason, and i feel like john bishop is almost too much of an ask?)

fresh talent comedian, typically a man under 40: rhys james, huge davies, ahir shah, darren harriott would be my top guesses but tbh any of the semi-recent edinburgh comedy award finalists are good bets as a majority of the winners from the last ~10 years have been on the series + throwing out tom rosenthal (i know he's not fresh fresh and also mostly an actor)...and, like, jazz emu?...just because if taskmaster know how much its audience adores weird little white twinks then they'll cast them

female or non-binary comedian: 100% sarah keyworth + harriet kemsley, maisie adam, jess fostekew, suzi ruffell. i've shifted away from betting on cariad lloyd and catherine bohart for some reason... (joanne was my no.1 lady bet for the last like 4 series hahaha)

non-comedian: this is very, very hard to predict because between comedy actors, non-comedy actors, tv presenters, news people, reality & social media stars... the potential predictions are just so endless! logically, the most likely is an established actor with a lot of comedy connections (think sally phillips, lolly adefope, liza tarbuck, sian gibson, daisy may cooper, susan wokoma; this category is where tm gets quite a few of its female contestants): matt holness, kevin eldon, amanda abbington, tom davis, sharon horgan, kathy burke, georgia tennant (also friends w alex?), su pollard, tom basden, apparently anyone from the cast of ghosts, and so on and so on and so on... + i'll also throw out maggie aderin-pocock as a serious contender + i really feel like one of the spice girls will be on new years treat

friend of alex: john robins was the prediction for the past few series, so just worth keeping in mind other people in this circle include elis james, matthew crosby, tom neenan, and so on

freebie answers because alex/greg have mentioned them before: jack dee, lorraine kelly, joanna lumley (i want jennifer saunders SO BAD give us an epic series w both ade and jen pleaseeee tm gods!!!!)

complete wild card bets that are either my instincts kicking in or my bias taking over: limmy, adam buxton, paddy mcguinness, diane morgan, daniel sloss, joel dommett, jess hynes, spencer jones??, alasdair beckett-king or josh pugh + if suzy izzard wasn't doing a big nyc show i'd say that's a good guess if only bc you know greg & alex grew up big fans

did i mention too many people?? if i had to put my money behind a single person it would be either ahir shah or sarah keyworth

these are almost all of my fr big heavy hitters when it comes to placing bets! but there are of course so many people i didn't name who i could totally see on either a main series or the ny treat — so many people just make sense and that's the beauty of taskmaster!!

[andradrawsstuff]

An in-depth character analysis of Skipper: pt 1

This version of Skipper is probably the simplest since he was comic relief at first, but a bit of a hot take, might actually be my favourite (I prefer the show version of the other three tho). Going back to the movies after years of watching the show, I realised that this version of Skipper is surprisingly… chill? I guess I’ve been so used to his tv personality that my brain just decided to override his movie personality with tv Skipper.

Buckle your seatbelts, this is going to be a long one ☝️🤓

Movie Skipper is quite a nonchalant, carefree and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but calm character. He’s kinda just minding his own business doing his missions. He’s pretty serious when he’s leading his team and planning his missions, eg. the boat hijacking scene, but generally you’ll see him with a smile on his face. He’s always been a suave and charming little guy with a lot of sarcasm and sass, which he wouldn’t be Skipper without.

Generally he takes no bs, is straight to the point, and is pretty blunt, usually to Alex and his bunch. But this is also where his sass and sarcasm starts to show more. It’s funny. I think that Madagascar 2 really shows his charm and sass more out of the three main movies bc of all the chaos.

It’s pretty safe to say that the penguins are chaotic neutrals (apart from Private maybe) but they do it in such a way that makes it really funny. Not only do they trick the tourists and steal their car (ya know, grand theft auto) but also run over the grandma after seeing she’s still alive (ya know, attempted vehicular homicide). I could name every single crime they commit istg and it’s a long list 💀 But anyway, Skipper does all this with such a chill and carefree attitude and simply doesn’t give a shit. It’s what makes him so funny. It’s a big reason why I love this version of him, bc he doesn’t take everything too seriously and just goes about his day like nothing ever happened.

Obviously, he’s not evil and does still care about others, for example when they rescue Alex and his bunch in Madagascar 2 and 3, as well as stopping Dave in their spinoff. But I do think that he has something against humans (which is understandable) bc he seems to have a general disregard for them which is kinda funny.

In Madagascar 3, you start to see a bit of a shift in his personality and he becomes a little more aggressive. I’m guessing it’s because Tom was used to voicing Skipper more aggressively for the tv series and they also probably adopted a bit of tv Skipper into movie Skipper. But he is still generally pretty nonchalant nonetheless. He isn’t as suave as the other two movies either, but he does activate Kowalski’s nuclear reactor just for the funnies so I’ll give him that. The best thing about them here is their interactions with Dubois, the sheer trail of carnage they leave behind wherever they go, and the funny little quips here and there. Can’t forget bababooey.

The penguins spinoff movie brings back a little of Skipper’s charm and swagger, mostly with the “I do things my own way” attitude and him just being an asshole to Classified bc he doesn’t like him. This movie also makes Skipper more tame than the other movies which I don’t mind that much, but I wish he was a little more chaotic neutral rather than so hellbent on being heroic.

But the thing that really solidified Skipper as a complex character was his character development. This is the first time you get to see his vulnerable side and even from the start of the movie you see that he’s actually pretty sweet underneath all that chaos. When they “lose” Private is when you really start seeing Skipper’s full character, going from carefreeness to pure desperation trying to get his little brother back after he gets kidnapped, which I think was a great way to go because it shows how much he loves his family.

Later on he kinda “gives up” and follows the North Wind’s plan, which is one of the only moments you see him completely vulnerable and unmasked - no clever quip, no opposition, just acceptance. A perfect contrast to his usual “never give up, never back down” attitude. I think it adds a lot more realism to his character and shows that the one thing that can break him is losing one of his brothers. This is something that you don’t really see in the show (other than for a short period of time eg. Skorka) which I think would have been a great way to develop his character more.

When they get Private back at the end of the movie, you get to see Skipper’s sweet side again and his character development comes full circle - he learns to stop undermining Private. He realises he was wrong and tries to make it right. In a way, I guess he takes accountability. Which you don’t see all that often in the show, only episodes like Needle Point coming to mind when thinking about it.

I think that this is another big reason why I prefer movie Skipper over tv Skipper - yeah, he’s a bit flawed and a little simpler than tv Skip, but he makes an effort to change in the end which tv Skipper doesn’t do as much. Movie Skipper is nonchalant, sassy, suave and by the end, pretty sweet. I guess you could say he’s pretty well written and honestly I wish we got to see more of his softer side and less paranoid attitude at the end of the show.

That’s not to say I hate tv Skipper tho, when i was a kid I LOVED him a lot more than movie Skip and I still find him rlly funny, I mean Skipper is Skipper haha. I guess my opinion just changed bc I grew up and I started seeing characters differently and started valuing character development a lot more, but who knows, maybe in a year it’ll change again lmao.

I am so sorry this got so out of hand and turned into a mf essay 💀 I promise the other analysis will be shorter 🙏

[too-many-rooks]

Spoiler warning: Long rambly notes I took while watching season 3, disclaimer that a lot of this is just character moments/lines I found interesting and initial bones of an au idea for a burgeoning, extremely self indulgent slightly-darker-Alex in season 3 wip I’ve started.

Also it was the middle of the night and I was very tired and wired out of my gourd on some mix of cheap white wine and floods of hyperfixation-sourced dopamine. Also also I only started taking notes at ep 3?

Episode 3

Alex is SUCH a better spy this season than when he began even in the first few episodes prior to SCORPIA training he’s more careful and precise and the team feels better organised - he did so well on that boat I’m so proud of my baby

I’m actually enjoying Tom and Kyra fucking about more than I expected. Tom pulling Kyra together after the boat explosion suprised me by how emotive it was. But I do want them to.. go away. Alex should more isolated/desperate/have NO other choices than SCORPIA.

Everything in Malagosto seems so staged to just see how Alex will react to it all - here’s an unlocked door, here’s an Alex sized vent and a dead spot in the cameras, what are you gonna do about it? +Alex absolutely speaks French I think he’s just not giving that away yet

Oh yes yes lingering bad touch from Julia Rothman hitting the right notes even though that costume is a WILD kaftan moment. Evil carmen sandiago/noir femme fatale aesthetic where are you I miss you so much

Ohhhh Julia saying Ian walked away and abandoned him and that was what hit him worst oh my goooooooooood

(Outfit change from julie mean day change or is she just a multiple outfits a day kinda person. Believable, I guess)

Julia’s gaslighting I ssoooo crazy ‘we trust you. We want you.’ After having his closest people not trust him, and now maybe questioning if Ian even wanted him!

Julia fucking loved this, she’s totally thrilled by her own power. Queen 👸🏻.

God Jones and the department is going THROUGH IT THIS SEASON, just suddenly surrounded by corpses

Julia : offers irrefutable proof, upsets him, then presses him to continue believing what he did before and belittling his objections - very subtle but more firm tone of voice, less motherly/accepting, very clear that the noose around Alex’s neck is always there.

She’s so delighted at the prospect of making Alex into the perfect soldier

Julia: “I want you to meet your tutor”

Me: ‘here he here he comes here he comes.’ And then I threw of my blanket, pushed myself onto my knees, and started bouncing and palm clapping in sheer delight. I basically never happy stim like this but MY GOD the flood of dopamine is IMMENSE.

More manic laughter at the start of episode 4 realising I’m about to see John and young Yassen. Nicuragua! 18 years ago!

God nervous baby Yassen with a gun

HES!! SO!!! BABY!!!

Baby boy already got his colour scheme locked down

Baby Yassen has curls - is it just the humidity or maybe does he have naturally curly hair that he straightens so he looks less cute?

Johns actor has a real resemblance to Ian (and Jack Lowden) but less so to otto

Ohoho scar moment scar moment bc Yassen was nervous and fucked up two people one bullet

“Close your eyes” as I tell these people I’m going to shoot you and have faith

God cut to adult Yassen WATCHING ALEX SLEEP LOOKING SO INTENSE

“Leave the past behind us.” “Ian rider was a professional. It was not personal it was my job.” “Think of this as a school and your dead by the end of the day” (actual honesty for the first time)

Alex not committing to being able to work with Yassen is perfect

Yassen taking Alex TO HIS KNEES so easily besties not been slowed down too much by a bullet to the chest

Soaking wet!!!!!!!!

Alex shooting scene amazing, as was Yassen bursting into his room immediately after for a murder pep talk. Alex has no privacy privileges from Yassen

Yassen removing the humanity from his targets, names/faces/lives are irrelevant, they are just blank targets. “One day you’ll have to murder them.”

“That’s not gonna happen”

Yassen *be so ffr rn face*

Really interesting to see the other side of the department covering up an agent death and lying to the family - I like the department with more humanity/emotional resonance than pure ruthlessness

Shitty Malagosto communal dorm room and matching drab grey hoodies my beloved

Shame there’s no ‘your not afraid of a little prick are you?’ ‘I wouldn’t call you that’ line. (But switching out the ‘getting vaccinated will implant you with secret nano tech that will kill you’ plottline probs a good idea)

Ooooh Julia creepily poisoning him so excited making me think of her delighting in drugging him in a cocktail of ‘let me take care of you’ ways

Yassen pulling rank to break up the fight!!

Ooh Nile wants to take down Yassen so bad.

Toms film skills coming in clutch recording/ documenting things so Alex will be taken seriously, glad to see him be… less of a dead weight to the team

Begrudgingly-impressed-at-Alex Yassen, even with the “come on that’s a bad idea”, “yeah, but!” Teenagerisms

Yassen’s core (suppressed) emotions: fear, doubt, panic

Alex: love, hope, friendship (okay dear, 🙄 but remember you’re literally becoming an assassin why are you so niave all of a sudden?)

Alex insisting John saved him bc he had compassion and was his friend and that Yassen’s rejection of that makes him lonely oh oh my heart my heart

I LOVE how much fun Nile has being evil at his job of threatening children.

Episode 5

Oh my god HIT HIM ALEX where do you think you are? How do you think you’ll actually manage to get those trainees to trust you? Stop whining and hit the man with a wooden sword, christ

Smithers (in reference to Alex) “he’s out there being a teenager because of us” *cut to Alex, very much in danger, contemplating his capacity to kill*

Julia: “no one leaves,” [scorpia, me, interchangeable to her]

mission with Yassen!

Packing for the mission with Yassen!!!

Yassen can’t read his handwriting!!!

“You’ve put… lockpick?”

“I left my last one in Nile. “

Alex bitching about his meagre gadgets at point Blanc 💯

Matching tactical turtlenecks!!!

“I don’t want you to fail. I don’t want you to die.”

Alex and Yassen are a team but Yassen gives Alex command of them oh boysieeeee

Again glad they dropped the vaccine bit: vaccines aren’t dangerous, but vaping is!!

Of on a road trip with Yassen!!

A murder road trip!

Love Kyra seeing the shot and the body - I know why it didn’t happen but I do kinda wish for a more corrupted violent Alex coerced/bargained into firing it himself

That Tom confrontation was great - I do want to see it as like a ‘your getting in my way’ intentional cruelty to push him away and keep him safe when Alex is too deep in SCORPIA to be deluded about thinking he can go home

Alex rejects intimacy with Julia and she cracks down her authority ‘no one leaves’

Ep 6

Love Alex spooky in the cemetery, SCORPIA hot on his heels

Sharing a grotty safe house together god SO GOOD

“We trust each other. You should try it sometime.”

“If it’s not emotional why do you do it?”

“Because it’s my job. (Identity/life/personal connections/sacrificed everything for) I work for SCORPIA. I’m good at it. You could be too.” Olive branch of intimacy - wants alex to be more like him, so they can be equals, can share this life that he apparently finds satisfaction in, not thinking or making decisions beyond how best to achieve his goal/finish the task(/order)assigned to him/subject himself to feeling emotions/thinking about his life beyond his attempts to depersonalise himself as just a weapon - just a professional with no emotions, and that that is fundamentally who he is. Evidently having some inconvenient feelies about Alex tho.

Oh no his delivery disguise makes him look like a caveman. Glad he took off the accessories for the Jones confrontation, his hair actually looks great there all tousled. (Beginning to realise how important characters hair is to me bc I still hate Julia’s I want some dark perfect waves this Bob is ough)

I’m really glad they settled on Yassen NOT knowing about John - he twists it that John didn’t betray him bc he had nothing to gain from being kind to him, so it wasn’t false, but he is so 100% loyal to John, eager to twist any criticism. I do wish we’d seen more of their relationship, but expecting some Russian roulette bits was overly optimistic

“I know my place” he’s IMMEDIATELY off to rescue his boy (actually, where did he go? All of that last episode I was just WHAT ABOUT YASSEN? Was he just plotting a rescue that didn’t need to happen and waiting for his boy to show up?)

Dare I say… good for blunt? Stephen dillane is just so charming I can’t help but like him. And you see some flashes of his ruthlessness like when he talks to Greif but he’s not a 24/7 conniving monster. Also Jones in charge and Alex possibly (definitely) returning to spy work in a couple of years? I like that. Totally abandoning it would have felt unsatisfying.

Loved that moment on the roof - missed opportunity for them to awkwardly wave at each other, but I’m so happy I predicted wrongly and Yassen gets to live and walk away and put down his weapons. There’s so much space for how they can reconnect in that.

[serialadoptersbracket]

Round 3, Match 15: Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu vs. Jack Starbright

Submitted kids:

Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu: Zhang Chengling, Gu Xiang, Liang Jiuxiao, arguably also Cao Weining and Gao Xiaolian

Jack Starbright: Alex Rider, Tom Harris, and as of season 3, Kyra Vaschenko-Chao

Propaganda under the cut!

Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu:

1, Wen Kexing: “Look this man shouldn't be adopting kids because he's kinda evil and also the leader of an army of criminals and outcasts, a position where he killed his way to the top at a young age, BUT when he was still just a kid he found Gu Xiang and knew that if he didn't take care of her that she would die and became her father/brother/master (it's complicated). And then many years later when he's off doing his revenge quest he basically ends up adopting Chengling who is freshly an orphan which was kind of Kexing’s fault (it's complicated), but Chengling doesn't mind that his new dads are a little evil (his other dad is Zhou Zishu who basically created the CIA in fantasy ancient China). And then Gu Xiang falls in love with Cao Weining which puts Kexing into protective father mode and he goes all overbearing father-in-law on Weining, but he comes around when he's sure that Weining will treat her right. And then when Weining's family/sect turns on him, Kexing becomes one of the few people left he could call family (also with the rest of the group).”

2, Zhou Zishu: “former assassin who literally just wanted to drink himself to death in peace but then in the span of like 2 day he suddenly obtained 2 kids and a husband(stalker)???? poor man Did Not want this and proceeds to spend the next few weeks/months in denial about it before finally coming to terms with the fact that he cares about all of them (not that he's gonna tell them that) and then he gets a son-in-law too??? the universe really refused to let him die alone and miserable and decided to drop and entire family on him out of nowhere”

Link to the rest here!

Jack Starbright:

“was about to quit her job of looking after alex but then alex's guardian died and she went "guess he's my kid now" and didn't look back. and alex's best friend is always around so fuck might as well adopt him too while we're here. (to be clear, she does become alex's legal guardian at the end of season two, tom is not legally her kid he's just always at her house even when alex isn't home.) i'm almost certain she's trying to adopt kyra as well. jack is a twenty something year old woman who went from "i just look after this one kid when his uncle is away on business trips" to two "i have two teenage sons" pretty much the minute her boss died and she never looked back. she never asked for these kids, but she loves them more than anything and sacrifices so much to keep them safe.”

[eddswrold-fandicc]

Tom x Female Reader Fluff

Panic set in your veins. It’s been a week since your mother called, reminding you that the family get together is this weekend. 

You had nobody to go with.

Sure, you could go alone, but everyone would be disappointed in you again for not dating. Dating was something that you didn’t really care about. You were more focused on your career. Plus, it’s not like you had feeling for anyone either. It was hard for you to fall for someone. There was a boyfriend in highschool, but he cheated, and you never tried again. 

Your family made fun of you for not dating, more specifically your sister. She had it all. The looks, the hair, the pretty face, and all of the attention. She always had a boyfriend. She was never alone. Your parents were more disappointed that you haven’t tried since highschool. They just wanted you to be happy with someone. And they wanted grandkids. 

You had 2 days to figure this out. You could ask one of your friends, but at what price? Your hand thought before you, picking up your phone and dialing a good friend. Anxiety set in as the phone rang, maybe this was a bad ide- 

“Hello?” 

“Tooom!” You casually greeted. A wide, panicked smile stretched across your face. 

“Y/N. Are you drunk somewhere?” You could hear Tom already picking himself up, ready to come get you. What a good friend. What a bad drinking habit you also had. 

“No, no! I- uh... I was just.. seeing how you were today?” It was obvious something was wrong.

The hesitancy in Tom’s voice told you that he knew something was up, “Uh, I’m fine. Why? You sound off.” 

“Can you be my boyfriend?” It slipped out of your mouth quicker than you could catch it. You slapped your hand over your mouth, silently cursing yourself. 

“W-What...?” 

Now, it was time to be out with it, “Sorry, I uh.. I need help.” 

“What’s going on?” 

You sat down, petting the sleeping dog beside you for comfort, “My mom called last week.” 

“Okay?” 

“We have a family get together this weekend, and I have nobody to go with. My sister is going to make fun of me, and my parents are going to be disappointed again. And aunt Alex is going to be disappointed, and grandma is going...” You rambled about it all, trying not to throw yourself into a panic attack. 

Tom interrupted you, “Yeah, sure. What time this weekend?” 

“R-Really?! You’d do that for me?” You could see Tom shaking his head through the phone. 

“Yeah, I guess. I kinda still owe you anyways, for being my date to prom that one year.” 

“Oh, yeah. Forgot about that. The coconut was so damn jealous too,” You snorted a giggle.

“Anyways, what time this weekend?” 

“Uhh, It’s at 1, I think. On Saturday.” You set a mental reminder to check up on that. 

“Okay. Do you want me to pick you up, or-” 

You interrupted Tom, “No, no! I can come to you.” 

“Okay. Whatever works. I actually have to go right now, I have to shit.” 

You shook your head, letting out a small breathy laugh, “Okay, whatever. I’ll be over around 11:30 on Saturday.” 

A door clicked shut on the other end of the call, “M’kay, I’ll see you this weekend.” 

The phone beeped, ending the call. 

________________________________________

You knocked on the front door, listening for someone to come open it. When the door clicked open, a familiar face whistled at you, “My, my. What’s the occasion, Y/N?”  

“Family reunion. Where’s Tom?” You walked into the house, searching for your date. 

“I’m upset that you didn’t ask me first.” He shut the door behind you.

“I know how you are, Tord. You’re a perv and I’m not sleeping with you.” You walked upstairs, ignoring the jealous remark Tord made. 

Tom’s door swung open before you could knock, “Hey- woah. Why are you wearing that?” 

“Why are you wearing regular clothes?!” 

“You didn’t say anything about what I had to wear!” 

“Let’s go,” You pushed Tom back into his room, shutting the door, “Do you have anything nice?” 

“Uh.” Tom looked around, finally opening his closet and looking around, “I have a few shirts, but no pants.” 

“That will work, let me see.” You pushed past Tom, looking at his shirts. The white one was perfect, matching your dress. 

“Here, this one makes us match. And your jeans should be fine with it.” 

“Okay,” Tom grabbed the hem of his signature blue hoodie, tossing it over his head and throwing it on the bed, revealing his body. 

Tom always had a nice body. You weren’t afraid to admit it either, but now wasn't the time. You watched as he carelessly slipped the white shirt over his shoulders, bringing it over his torso to start buttoning. 

“Should I curl my hair too?” Tom joked, earning a mocked laugh from you. 

“You’re so funny. Let’s go.” You stepped out of his bedroom, rushing downstairs. 

“Do you two even have proof that you’re together?” Tord sipped a drink, sitting on the sofa with a magazine in hand. 

You thought for a moment. “Shit,” you whispered to yourself. 

“Shut up.” Tom threw a pillow at Tord, knocking his magazine out of his grip. 

“Just saying. They’re going to want proof.” Tord teased more, knowing he was getting to you. 

“No, he’s right. What do we do about that?” You turned to Tom, holding your hands out in panic like it actually does something. 

“Uh.. Pictures?” Tom shrugged.

You stared at him for a moment. Pictures would be valuable proof. The two of you had been friends for years, of course you guys had pictures together, “That works.” 

You rushed Tom out of the door, practically dragging him to your car. 

“So where is this place?” Tom buckled his seat belt, and got comfortable. 

“Next town over. My mom’s house.” You started the car and began to drive. 

The drive wasn’t too long. You arrived at your mother’s house around 12:30, early, but still on time. 

“Y/N! My baby sister!” Your older sister came to hug you. You could hear the mock in her tone. 

“Heyyy, Kate. How are you and Brandon?” You hugged your sister back, smelling the gallons of perfume she dumped on herself. 

“We’re doing fine. We just celebrated our 4th year together. We went to the cinema, and then out for ice cream.” She beamed, finally noticing Tom awkwardly standing behind you. 

“Oh? And who’s this?” 

You latched your arm around Tom’s, “This is Tom.” 

“Hello, Tom. Nice to meet you!” Your sister shook Tom’s hand, sending you a knowing look. 

“Mom will be happy to meet you.” 

“Meet who?” A voice cut through. Everyone turned their heads to your mother, who was drying her hands off with a kitchen towel, “Oh! Are you Y/N’s boyfriend?” 

Tom nodded, “Yes. It’s nice to meet you again.” 

“Oh, I knew you looked familiar. Wasn’t he your prom date, Y/N?” 

You nodded, “Yeah. We’ve been friends for years, and finally decided to get together.”

“Oh, how sweet! Come, young man, come meet the rest of the family!” Your mother ushered you and Tom into the kitchen where there were more adults, more specifically, your family members. 

“Y/N’s here! And she brought her handsome boyfriend, Tom.” You mother announced, having all eyes on you and Tom. 

You took Tom around the kitchen, greeting everyone. A few children came up to you, your younger cousins, giving you a big hug. 

_________

Dinner wasn’t soon after. Everyone sat outside, with a paper plate in hand. You Aunt Alex spoke, with a mouthful of food, “So. How long have you two been together? You sister said you’ve been friends for years, but I’ve never seen or heard of the young man.” 

Here it was. The interrogations. 

“Yeah, we’ve been friends since high school. But we started dating within these past few years.” 

“Years? And he’s just now coming to a reunion?” Your grandmother questioned, putting sweat beads on your forehead. 

“Yeah. I wanted to wait to introduce him to you crazy people.” You joked, earing a laugh from your parents. 

“We’ve never seen him on your social medias either, Y/N. Are you sure you two are really together?” Your aunt teased. 

“Ye-” 

“Yes. We are. Since August three years ago. I just don’t like taking many pictures.” Tom cut through. You felt his hand snake around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You could tell by the tone of his voice that he was getting aggravated. 

“Prove it.” Your sister butt in, sending you a devilish smile.

You turned to Tom, loudly announcing, “They’re just gonna embarrass me.” 

“Let’s prove them wrong, sweetheart,” Tom lowly spoke. He had a smile planted on his face, hiding how nervous he was. 

He wrapped his arms around you, dipping you before giving you a big kiss. Your family cheered as he kissed you. 

It was all too sudden. It wasn’t expected that he was going to kiss you. You were shocked, but that emotion had to be hidden for the time being. 

“Happy?” You turned to your family, looking at their smiling faces. 

______

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you did that!” The ride home was embarrassing. Tom was laughing the entire time. 

“Sorry, sorry! They were pissing me off.” He said in between laughs. 

“Yeah, but- oh my god!” Okay, maybe it was a little funny. Laughter started to bubble in your stomach until it was leaving your mouth. 

Tom looked over to you, “So, we’re even now?” 

“Yeah,” you giggled, “But I didn’t kiss you at prom.”

“Looks like you owe me, now,” He winked at you. 

[lilmeowchow]

MY TWILIGHT FANCAST!!!

(Btw all actors were chosen while keeping their younger selves in mind)

Michelle Trachtenberg as Bella Swan

This is basically how I've always pictured Bella, minus the blue eyes. She's got the full lips, heart-shaped face, and super pale skin (you can't really tell in this photo but she's as white as a ghost).

Cillian Murphy as Edward Cullen

What do you want me to say? Imagining Edward as Cillian Murphy isn't the most hilarious shit ever? Cause it is. I think what really gets me is that nothing about how Edward is described goes against the idea that he's a Cillian Murphy lookalike (except his green eyes). Don't care if it's silly, it's MY silly little rabbit. If you don't like having fun then I GUESS...

Jeff Ward as Edward Cullen

Are you happy now?

Eddie Spears as Jacob Black

He could turn up the bitchiness to 11 and I'd love every minute of it. His annoyed expressions would be great for Jacob Black. He also has a large frame and would be able to become big like Jacob did. Really fun actor to watch.

Sarah Gadon as Rosalie Hale

While she isn't very tall, she has the elegant and untouchable look I've always imagined Rosalie to have. She's undoubtedly beautiful and glamorous in a more subtle way than people usually expect when they picture Rosalie.

Tom Welling as Emmett Cullen

I think he's a great fit for Emmett. It's said that Emmett has a boyish face but a muscular body and that's literally what Tom Welling is. He's surprising super buff, like he has massive gains, but still has a youthful face. I even think he'd do a good job at portraying Emmett's personality.

Rachel Leigh Cook as Alice Cullen

Whenever I think of girls with big eyes, I think of Rachel Leigh Cook. I don't think that young Winona Ryder is a bad fit but I've always seen her as more of a tomboy while Cook looks very cutesy even when she had a pixie cut. I also see Cook as a better fit for the energy Alice has. She's really small too which helps.

Alex Pettyfer as Jasper Hale

The main reason I chose him is because he fits the two things I think of when I think of Jasper, good looking and unapproachable. There's a lot of young handsome blond actors but not all of them call pull off the RBF required to play Jasper. He doesn't really have that hardened by war look but he does what he can.

Brittany Murphy as Esme Cullen

This one is a little crazy but hear me out. I think that Brittany could bring a lot of Esme's character that we don't really see to the surface. Esme is borderline unhinged (shes an immortal being and spends her time as a housewife making food no one will ever eat) and seems like the type of woman who's soft and warm hearted but has a bit of a depressing air to her. Brittany could portray this special flavor of despondent very well. I almost didn't choose her because it's suggested that Esme basically has chubby cheeks but Brittany's face is also heart shaped so yolo.

Jude Law as Carlisle Cullen

I've always imagined that Carlisle is the kind of guy who looks older than he actually is. When he pretends he's in his thirties it's still a stretch cause he looks like he could be 27 max but it's not as shocking as if he was a 23 year old with baby face. Jude Law is a pretty handsome guy and I do imagine he would distract nurses at the hospital if he were a doctor. I also think he's handsome enough to be "better looking than any moviestar" Bella has ever seen. Jude Law is an amazing actor and would do a great job too I just know it.

[thirteen-cats-in-a-trenchcoat]

This random au I can't stop thinking about is where John, Ian and Yassen come back to life, and they have to live with Alex and Jack (we're gonna ignore the lack of rooms in the house to fit so many people). It'd be so chaotic and tom would come often cuz yeah, and everyone would make sure Blunt goes on a one-way trip to hell, and alex would adapt to this new normal and yeah I guess?

I can imagine the interactions between everyone, like, Yassen would come to the understanding that at the end of the day, John was only human, and didn't have all the answers. But John might not be able to forgive himself for what he though he 'caused', and takes longer to get that it's not his fault yassen became a contract killer, at least not wholly.

Yassen would at one point, share his journal with everyone, when he feels completely safe. He would also escape Scorpia. People may know he's alive, including Mi6, but they also know he's too good to be caught, or they think he's dead.

Alex would be a happy with his escape from Mi6. Ian would quit. John would see his son grow up to be a good man.

Yassen sorta saw alex as John when he was rescuing him from Sayle, but at some point, that morphed into him seeing alex as Yasha. Yassen protecting alex would almost be like closure to him, like getting peace, knowing his past self would be proud. Proud that he's not Cossack anymore.

Ian and Yassen reconsile, after all, they both care about alex, and understand death is an occupational hazard.

Jack is helping everyone through like, everything, and also becomes a lawyer, in England.

This is basically a fix-it au, but the thing is, this will never come to be.

Because there are no time machines

Because actions (the ones taken *and* the ones not taken) have consequences

Because really, John got blown up by his best friend

Ian got shot in the head while trying to go back to his nephew

Yassen got betrayed by everyone, and fell into a downward spiral since 14, and died in his 30s,though he wasnt truly living for over a decade

Jack got blown up, trying to get free, and she was never meant to be part of any espionage in the first place, she just wanted alex to be happy and safe.

And alex is always left behind, and he's on borrowed time, and it's running out, while every single good thing was snatched from him in one brutal year.

[lovebirdgames]

BCB Character Playlists ~ Tom

For inspiration purposes, I had a playlist of songs for each character that I created way back in...2015...but I kept adding more songs along the way. It really helped me get in the mindset to write. I also loved imagining music videos in my head to most of these. 

So I figured some of you would enjoy seeing what I had on my playlists. I didn’t include every single song because some of them I was like “why is this on here?” Maybe you’ll find a new song you like! ...Or maybe not because I guess I mostly listen to pop...

Let’s start with Tom!

One Call Away - Charlie Puth

We Found Love - Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris (Alex Goot Cover)

Animal - Neon Trees (both the original and this minor cover by Chase Holfelder, for when that bad ending gets you)

Sweet Escape - Nightcore

Check Yes Juliet - We The Kings (RUN!!!)

Brand New - Ben Rector

Radioactive - Imagine Dragons

End Game - Taylor Swift

Stitches - Shawn Mendes

New Light - John Mayer

friends don’t look at friends that way - Tate McRae (just look at the above CG heh)

It’ll Be Okay - Shawn Mendes (Stay or Go?)

Say You Won’t Let Go - James Arthur (Did I post the comic of this one on tumblr?)

I Hope You’re Happy - Blue October (pining for you while you play other routes)

Everything Goes On - Porter Robinson (the music video in my head is Magical Musicians AU themed with cross-cutting to the real world bad ending “Wait for Me.” Also if you watch the League of Legends MV know that I would sell my soul for Rakan.)

Running Up That Hill - Kate Bush (there are so many epic covers/remixes too, like this one, and this one. With the ticking clock, I like to imagine Cadence resetting the game after the tragic “Wait for Me” ending, only to get the “Where the Bullet Went” ending.)

Lifetime - Three Days Grace (this song was my addiction at one point, from Tom’s POV, pairs with “Where the Bullet Went” or even “Sorry.” The angst is so yummy.)

Next time is Peter!

[blorbingqls]

thank you for tagging me @jojotichakorn 💗

(this is @where-are-not-honeydews here)

Current time: 12:47 am

Current activity: scrolling through tumblr for meta reads, watching modern family and making a presentation for my gene cloning class

Currently thinking about: my academic research project, the finale of dangerous romance, firstkhao, taynew and forcebook, and also bojack and diane

Current favourite song:

Currently reading: i usually read on AO3 'cause i have sort of resorted to chapter based reading so its "baby, let me lick on your tattoos" by @Board_Games and also a lovely WIP "if you had something to lose" by @raelle-writing but like the last book i read was "crush" by richard siken

Currently watching: i was yesterday on my specific scene based KPTS rewatch, rn watching modern family (as of now but searching for QLs to watch always) - waiting for dangerous romance tom

Current favourite character: sand is on my mind, but also alex from modern family, and all time favourite pete and win + diane from bojack horseman - i have too many blorbos that i can't stop thinking about

Current WIP: um, i am more of a fic reader than writer and i usually don't write fanfic - i am more of a piece writing person i guess (you can read something of mine if you want on my other blog @awritingsloth)

tagging @italianpersonwithashippersheart @listeningwithearphones @gunsatthaphan @bengiyo @respectthepetty @firstkanaphans

(only if you have the time and want to do it please <3)

[jlawbenn]

If I could pick the AFL captains:

Adelaide - don’t know enough about them but Josh Rachelle should be somewhere up there just because I like saying his surname, also he looks like he has Daicos genes in him

Brisbane - can’t stand Lachie Neale or James Hird’s metaphorical son Harris Andrews so dump them both (although I see why Lachie is up there with the multiple Brownlows) I reckon Josh Dunkley is a very good leader and he loves his club and plays wherever for the benefit of the team so he should climb up the leadership ladder, Charlie Cameron a main goal kicker I can’t stand him because he thinks he’s the superior Charlie but I’d put him up too. Also Dev Robertson for the eye candy.

Carlton - drop Cripps instantly, remove Weitering from leadership team. I’d like to see Cerra up there like deputy, Jack Silvagni because he’s so loyal to the club and the club history and loves us, I reckon TDK in the leadership team couldn’t hurt because he’s so good and seems so caring of his teammates, oh also remove Walsh from any leadership duties because he’s just too inconsistent. Not sure who I’d have as captain but Cerra is certainly always improving. Also sack our coach.

Collingwood - no change with the captain, I’m happy with Darcy Moore. But I’d definitely drop Maynard and Quaynor. It’s surprising that there’s no Daicos in the leadership team.

Essendon - I love Zach Merrett but I feel like his appointment of captain isn’t legit enough, he’s been known to play like a thug and hurt other players deliberately and I feel like that’s not very good for a captain. Very happy with Andrew McGrath as vice, would prefer him as captain but I guess the Essendon faithful don’t agree. Dyson should still be in the leadership team, I don’t get why people hate on him so much?

Fremantle - Nat Fyfe overrated but I prefer him as a captain to that creepy Alex Pearce. Don’t know much else about the team, surely Brayshaw should be up there.

Geelong - who else to take over Joel Selwood’s long reign than Dangerfield 🙄 I think Tom Hawkins or Mitch Duncan should have captained the team. But Geelong have so many good players even if they’re older, like even Jeremy Cameron. Idk I just don’t like Dangerfield. But I guess they can’t appoint a blonde because everyone would be playing ‘spot the captain’ at the games

Gold Coast - I have no care for this team but Touk Miller annoys me on another level because whenever he’s playing, my brother ALWAYS screams his name out and it’s irritating. Idk what a Jarrod Witts is. Idk I liked David Swallow there I guess no change other than drop Touk. Definitely don’t appoint Casboult he’s a proven traitor.

GWS - TOBY GREENE IS THE WORST DECISION AS AN AFL CAPTAIN SINCE RYAN GRIFFEN AND TEX WALKER! Like are you kidding me, he has to go, he’s a professional thug and a horrible opponent and never plays fair. Stephen Cogniglio should have been captain before him, and I don’t like him either. Not a fan of GWS and their backwards agenda at all.

Hawthorn - I’ve seen some absolute thuggery out of James Sicily before, especially when he was bleach blonde but idk I love Chad Wingard, id rather Chad as captain but is he still there? Does he ever play? I feel like I haven’t seen him in a million years. I don’t know many other hawthorn players but I can safely say Ginnivan in leadership role is not a good idea.

Melbourne - HATE max gawn! What a creep. Definitely think Petracca should be captain, even that Viney plate face guy, basically anyone besides Gawn, May, Hunter and Fritsch.

Norf - I love Jye Simpkin as captain but it’s so weird without Zieball, he’s been around forever but he seems so young and his retirement was so random. I don’t like MacDonald but definitely Simpkin, and I reckon Sheezel and fisher would make excellent leaders too.

Port - Idk what a Connor Rozzee is but I don’t really like Port at all, Travis Boak is a legend and it’s sad he stepped down. Maybe the 3 named one that also played for Norf, Horne Francis? He could go up there

Richmond - Dion Prestia gives me the heebie jeebies idk why. Oh wait it’s Nankervis who’s captain and he’s even worse!!! Idk, Tom Lynch could be captain but he’s such a thug so that’s not fitting. Idk, it’s hard with these young teams, some choices seem to be right out of desperation.

St Kilda - Jack Steele is an excellent option even if I can’t stand him and he has a head like an accountant. Can’t see anyone else other than Jack Higgins doing the job, and Jack seems so young, like he never ages? But also Liam Stocker would be a FANTASTIC leader but I guess because of his depression it’s too hard.

Sydney - idk what a Callum Mills is, wasn’t Paaarrkeeerrr captain? At least it’s not Heeney or Papley. ESPECIALLY Papley.

West Coast - Well they’re always tanking so I guess they’ve got the right captains!!! As long as it’s not Jack Darling I’m happy.

Western Bulldogs - super controversial opinion here but I can’t stomach Bont. Never have, never will. And there’s definitely plenty of players who could take over, like Adam Treloar (unfortunate for me because I can’t stand him either), Taylor Duryea who has the experience + hawthorn premierships, Jamarrah definitely, but sack Bailey Smith PLEASE.

No offence intended I just genuinely like sharing my backwards mean opinions lol

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I've listened to the last couple of episodes of the Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby show on Radio X, because for the last two weeks it's been the Matthew Crosby and Nish Kumar show, and I really really like listening to Nish Kumar talk. That podcast is one of the few where I've decided I will pick and choose and listen to a few episodes if they have on someone I particularly like, without feeling obligated to listen to every episode (of the few shows that I've set out as exceptions to my completism rule, two are Crosby-based as Pappy's is another one, though I know at some point I will end up going through all of Pappy's Fun Club). And for most of the episodes of the Gamble/Crosby podcast I've heard, the guest who drew me to that episode was Nish Kumar.

I do like listening to Ed Gamble talk as well, it was no slight on him that this week I picked two episodes where he was away (being replaced by Nish) to jump into that radio show. But I think I am getting enough Ed Gamble from other sources right now. Spent yesterday going between the Crosby/Kumar thing, and listening to Ed Gamble... hopefully not really physically attack a guy until he drew blood during a podcast recording in 2008. I mean, I'm pretty sure they were just pretending on that. Hitting something else to make the sound effect. But they put in a lot of fairly believable detail on that lie. I mean. There's no way that was real. Physical assault is an actual crime, and you can't commit crimes on podcasts, even if it's 2007. It had to be a lie. The Ray Peacock Podcast is sure an experience.

Anyway. As I'm getting more than enough Ed Gamble, possibly too much Ed Gamble, from my Ray Peacock Podcast completist run, it was nice to have the much more chill, just jump into an occasional episode of Matthew Crosby on Radio X to balance it out. And these couple were fun. It was also nice to hear from Producer Vin again, who is the best. I have decided he's the best one. He's one-upped Chris Skinner off The Bugle as my favourite in that role.

Anyway, I have dedicated much of this blog before to cataloguing comedian football gossip, so here's some more of it:

I enjoyed that greatly, as I do any clip in the more specific sub-genre of comedian football stories called: Nish Kumar's trash talk:

Of all the comedy events that I don't get to see because of the Atlantic Ocean, those yearly Alex Horne-organized Chicken vs. Egg comedian football matches are pretty high on my list of things I'd most like to see. I see why they don't film those, but I still wish they would.

I love the phrase "Achilles Brain". I might start using that, in real life. There are many terms we use to describe athletes who perform much better in practice than in competition because they struggle with the mental game. My old coach used to call them "head cases", which I found quite offensive, as a person in that category. I guess the term wouldn't necessarily have been offensive if he hadn't specifically meant it in an offensive way. But if you're going to be offensive about it, it's much better to go all the way and be over-the-top offensive for comedic effect about it, and go with Achilles Brain. I'm going to start telling athletes they have to work on their Achilles Brain.

Good chat, Nish. Every time I hear Matthew Crosby talk I'm reminded of how much I like Matthew Crosby. Also, for anyone listening to this without context who may be concerned, I am genuinely sure that Ed Gamble didn't break a guy's nose during a podcast record in 2007. They just fairly convincingly pretended he did. But I do not recommend listening to the Ray Peacock Podcast. It's very funny and I'm hugely enjoying it and I recommend it to absolutely no one.

[icebluecyanide]

Alex Rider S03E02 Reaction

These were my first reactions to season three, completely unspoiled for the rest of the series, but of course, with significant knowledge from the books. With some thoughts and predictions thrown in too.

Anyway time to infiltrate some labs!

Liveblog

So many Yassen flashbacks bless

The letter to the prime minister! Love how it’s updated to be a USB stick or something. And a cool new Scorpia logo 👀

Are you… really going to just plug it into your laptop? Okay then lmao

‘We will deal only with the Department’ ahsdlfhs that is literally the vaguest name ever for a government department lmao at least add ‘MI6’ or something

17 years ago?? How old is Alex by now??

Some fascinating choices in how they changed the demands compared to the books 👀

‘Post it on tiktok’ ahsdlhs my brain can’t handle the idea that tiktok exists in the same world as Alex Rider

‘Maybe when she’s finished with Consanto’ lmao why is she telling him the name. Oh okay that’s why haha

Very suspicious of the new MI6 person lol. Like either it’s someone who is new enough to challenge the home secretary in a meeting or maybe they’re working for Scorpia. The timing is very convenient 👀

Lmao Mrs Jones is one day from retirement. RIP Mrs Jones

Tom just take the camera job 😭

“But we get to spend quality time together!” lmao Kyra

Why did Scorpia not do more to hide the background of the video ahsdlfhs

I guess the data scientist is probably not Scorpia but why is she not wearing the full protective gear lol. Why are she and Crawley in the field??

RIP new data scientist and RIP Mrs Jones’s retirement plans 😔

It is kind of interesting to me how Blunt is getting portrayed as super heartless for not reacting more to the death and coming off looking much worse than the rest in MI6/the Department while Scorpia is arguably the book where Blunt comes out looking best. But the show is quite focused on Blunt as the bad guy while everyone else gets humanised more

The way we keep getting these scenes of Kyra and Tom just watching Alex go off and do stuff lol

He’s not using the gloves!!!

Nile 👀 What a brutal throat blow gosh

Alex did you not hear about the detonation or….

Alex held his breath this time!!! He’s learning!!!

“An answer in the next sixty seconds is optimal” I love Nile so much gosh

Ohhh nice cliffhanger, I love Kyra and Tom not knowing if he’s alive or dead!

Overall

Very excited by that last scene! I love Nile so much already, he’s very cool and I love him offering Alex a one-time chance to get info, and how it ends with Tom and Kyra having no idea what happened with Alex. Nice to see some stuff with the Department too and the letter to the prime minister (that apparently didn’t reach the prime minister’s office lmao)

Thoughts/predictions

Not entirely sure what the point was with the new data scientist story except to make Smithers and Mrs Jones upset and look more emotional than Blunt. Like yes, it’s very sad but also I do question how good they are at their jobs if they react to every death like this. In general the show seems to be isolating Blunt from the rest of the department people a lot more than the books, but I like how he still comes across as better than the Home Secretary (who should be fired just for plugging in that USB stick into her laptop, frankly).

Nile is very cool and I love him. Do miss his more casual and cheerful attitude from the book though, but I’m super excited to see where this goes and where he takes Alex. He’s getting answers!! Love Nile casually playing the bomb and setting the timer and just asking the scientist guy questions about the cardboard cover.

It’s kind of ironic how they are not telling Tom’s brother about what is going on when in the books Tom immediately tells Jerry that Alex is MI6 despite Alex talking to him about the importance of not telling anyone haha. But I like how he did catch on. I assume maybe Tom will end up being his photographer, but Alex being assumed dead or missing is probably not helping.

It’s really interesting how the demands have changed and how it’s more UK focused, which makes sense since in the books the context was very much the Iraq war and Tony Blair/Alistair Campbell and the special relationship between the USA and the UK. But here I assume the reason Scorpia picked the UK is personal, because the Department dealt the blow that nearly finished them off 17 years ago. 

Questions

What’s up with the stuff in the box?? Were those toys? Children’s clothes? What is the Clean Room? What is Invisible Sword in this universe??

Is our dear friend Max still alive? I assume he may come back to meet Alex later given his comment about them meeting again in ep 1

Where is Yassen? 😢 I crave more than just flashbacks!

[i-like-to-analyze-stuff]

Ok I have never posted on Tumblr before, but have a LOT of thoughts about Taylor’s curated playlists corresponding to the 5 stages of grief, so I’m jumping in!

My first impression was of course sadness about all the Joe love songs in here. I mean, she literally put the song “Lover” in “Denial!” Yikes. But when I did a deeper dive and tabulated which song subjects were in which lists, some interesting patterns emerged. If you don’t care about all the details, just jump to the end for the totals. Interesting, huh?

I have to tag @taylor-on-your-dash because they are my hero! Most of my opinions on who each song is about come from their incredible data on when each song was written, which I’ve cross-referenced with who Taylor was dating at that time. Obviously these are just opinions, but they are based on a lot of research!

OK here we go:

Denial:

Lavender Haze—Joe

Snow on the Beach—Joe

Sweet Nothing—Joe

Glitch—Joe

Betty—fictional, but written with Joe

Willow—Joe

Cruel Summer—Tom

Lover—Joe (ouch!)

Miss Americana—not romantic (2016 election)

False God—Joe

Style—Harry

Wildest Dreams—possibly Alex Skarsgard?

Treacherous—Harry

Untouchable—she didn’t write it

That’s When—non-famous person

Ours—John

Superman—John

Bejeweled—Calvin, but she also wore a “bejeweled” dress when she did a surprise appearance at a 1975 show a few months before her breakup with Joe was announced, so this could refer to being in denial about Matty being able to be a decent human being lol

Anger:

Vigilante Shit—not romantic (scooter)

High Infidelity—Calvin (positive about Joe though, at least he gets a break here!)

Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve—John

Exile—I think fictional, but written with Joe

Illicit Affairs—I think fictional but who knows?

Mad Woman—not romantic (Scooter)

Tolerate It—fictional (plot of the book Rebecca)

Bad Blood—not romantic (Katy feud)

Is It Over Now?—Harry

I Knew You Were Trouble—Harry (yes I know there’s debate about this, but I remain firmly convinced that, even if she didn’t start this about him, in the end it was definitely about him)

We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together—Jake

The Last Time—Jake

The Moment I Knew—Jake

Babe—Jake

I Bet You Think About Me—Jake

Dear John—John

Better Than Revenge—Joe Jonas/girl he left Taylor for

Tell Me Why—non-famous person

You’re Not Sorry—non-famous person

Forever & Always—Joe Jonas

Mr Perfectly Fine--Joe Jonas

Bargaining:

The Great War—Joe

This is Me Trying—I think fictional

Peace—Joe

The Archer—Joe

Cornelia Street—Joe (oh, this one hurts!)

Death by a Thousand Cuts—fictional (inspired by a movie but the movie writer was inspired by 1989 so I guess semi Harry?)

Soon You’ll Get Better—not romantic (her mom’s cancer 😢)

Afterglow—Joe

I Wish You Would—Harry

Say Don’t Go—Harry

Come Back Be Here—Harry (I know there’s debate about this too but I’m in the Harry camp)

Better Man—Jake

The Story of Us—John

Haunted—Joe Jonas

Come In With the Rain—non-famous person

The Other Side of the Door—non-famous person

If This Was a Movie—Joe Jonas

Renegade—Joe

Depression:

Bigger Than the Whole Sky—non-romantic (miscarriage?)

Dear Reader—non-romantic (self-doubt)

Maroon—Jake? I think? Honestly I still can’t figure this one out for sure.

You’re Losing Me—Joe

My Tears Ricochet—non-romantic (Scott Borchetta)

Epiphany—non-romantic (war/pandemic)

Hoax—I think Scott Borchetta, so non-romantic? But possibly also Joe? I think she said in this one she was writing about multiple things.

Champagne Problems—I think fictional, but written with Joe

Coney Island—I think fictional, but written with Joe

Right Where You Left Me—I think fictional

Nothing New—non-romantic (self-doubt)

All Too Well—Jake

Forever Winter—non-romantic (friend with mental health issues)

We Were Happy—non-famous person

Last Kiss—Joe Jonas

Castles Crumbling—non-romantic (self-doubt)

Carolina—fictional (for a movie)

White Horse—non-famous person

Acceptance:

You’re On Your Own Kid—non-romantic (self confidence)

Midnight Rain--non-famous person

Labyrinth—Joe

The 1—I think fictional

August—fictional

Invisible String—Joe (finally, a happy song about Joe! This one is touching. Like I guess she’s accepting that they were fated to be together but not end up together?)

Happiness—I think not personal—supposedly about Abigail’s divorce

Long Story Short—another happy song about Joe! Wow!

Closure—nonromantic (Karlie friendship breakup)

Evermore—possibly fictional, but written with Joe

It’s Time to go—nonromantic (Karlie friendship breakup)

I Forgot That You Existed—Calvin

Daylight—another happy song about Joe!

This Love—Harry

Clean—Harry

Now That We Don’t Talk—Harry

Begin Again—supposedly Will Anderson (lead singer of Parachute)

Innocent—non-romantic (Kanye)

Breathe—non-romantic (close friend/fiddle player in her band left the band)

Totals (romantic only, not including fictional)—this really says it all!

Denial: 7 Joe, 2 Harry, 2 John, 1 each Calvin, Tom, possible Alex

Anger: 5 Jake, 3 Joe Jonas, 2 John, 2 Harry, 1 Calvin

Bargaining: 6 Joe, 3 Harry, 2 Joe Jonas, 1 each Jake & John

Depression: 2 Jake, 1 each Joe Alwyn and Jonas

Acceptance: 4 Joe, 3 Harry, 1 each Calvin and Will Anderson

So, basically, with Joe, and to a lesser degree Harry, the main feelings were denial, bargaining, and acceptance. Whereas with Jake and Joe Jonas it’s about anger, plus a lot of depression about Jake. And John gets a healthy dose of denial and anger. Sounds about right!

But also, to all the people ready to attack Joe when TTPD comes out, I think it’s important to point out that he’s not even ON the “Anger” list at all. Yes, things ended. Yes, it’s sad. She was sad. But that doesn’t mean he’s a terrible guy.

Oh, and Taylor L. is nowhere on the list! Yes, he is definitely the best ex lol.

[turtlesnails]

👥

🧸

💬

❗️

🌟

Firstly, thank you to the anon who sent me the request! :)

👥️ - who are two characters that never got to interact that you would like to see talk to each other?

Jack and Yassen.

I feel like Jack would be angry at Yassen, given everything Alex told her. Possibly getting upset at him for working with Cray and for killing Ian. But, also feeling thankful that Yassen kept Alex save and spared his life.

It would be really interesting to see the two of them have a conversation or even have to work together to protect Alex. It’s something I would like to see, although it probably won’t happen.

🧸 - do you believe alex was specifically being trained to be a spy as a child?

I think Ian was training Alex, but I think it was more for Alex’s protection if ghosts of the past came after them. I could also see Ian encouraging/manipulating Alex into being a spy when he got a bit older. But, I think Ian would have wanted Alex to finish his A levels before getting in the family business.

Book verse; If Ian survived stormbreaker I could very well see Blunt convincing Ian to send Alex to Point Blanc for a few weeks to just look around. Or convincing Ian to take his nephew on more and more missions without Alex really knowing what was going on.

I do think that Ian did take Alex on missions as cover, even if the plan was just for Alex to chill at the hotel. Christmas at gunpoint is a good example of this theory, and in the book verse, Alex brings up a few other holidays he spent with Ian.

💬 - favorite quote?

Oh this is a hard one. I only saw the show once so I don’t have much of the dialogue memorized. I remember that Tom had a few good lines. (Tom is the absolute best boi).

The only line that comes to my head right now is Yassen’s. Both the conversation between Yassen and Ian, where Yassen is almost apologetic at having to kill Ian.

And, later when Yassen said, “Another time, maybe.” When he runs into Alex at the school.

In the Book Verse, Alex has a few funny one liners in the books. I like to moments when Alex is being Alex. In book one, one of my favorite lines is when Sayle and Alex are talking about the Portuguese man of war; Sayle says“You see, it [portuguese man-of-war] reminds me of myself.” and Alex’s response was “It’s 99% water. It has no brain, no guts and no anus.”

Alex in the books is immediately realizes his mistake and feels bad.

Alex says this line in the movie, too. But, it’s not as funny, but definitely comes across rudely- which I guess is how Sayle takes the comment.

❗️ - what was a moment you didn't see coming?

Season 1: Really surprised me. At first I was a bit disappointed with the changes they made from the books, but by episode three I was hooked on the plot. They did a really good job of changing things that need to be changed, and adding plot points and characters that were exciting. So basically the whole season one of TV show.

I really liked Tom’s character and his plot. The big twist I did not see coming was him getting kidnapped by Michael Roscoe and pulled into everything because of his friendship with Alex.

Season 2: I thought it was a bit more predictable and hit more of the plot points of the original books. I was not expecting Kyra to show back up in season two. At first I was feeling “Meh” about her character (since she mainly fills Jack’s role in Amsterdam), but I think they made the right call with creating team Alex (Tom, Kyra, and Alex).

Season 3: Well….. We will see 😉

🌟 🦂 who's a character you could see working for scorpia in a different timeline, and why?

Blunt. Because he is an evil character and shows time and time again that he does not care for Alex and just uses him. We also see Blunt do rather evil things in the books. He sent a sniper to scare Alex into working for him again in Scorpia Rising, so I can see him going to extremes to convince Alex to do what he wants or keep his own secret.