#too much of an annoyance for this dumb little app

[floral-hex]

uuuuugggghhhhh tumblr fucked up the mobile app again. The new update replaces your profile tab with one for tumblrmart 😑, so if you haven’t updated the app yet, maybe hold off until they (hopefully) correct this. In the meanwhile, I can’t easily flip between my drafts and my profile so I can’t really do my whole color-coordinated bullshit, so… I dunno. I’m sure I’ll still post a little bit, but this all just makes it a biiit too much work for what’s supposed to be a dumb little way to pass the time. What a hassle blegh blegh blegh

[papaya-twinks]

just an assistant - l.n

Warnings: angst, swearing, smut (SMUT?!), fingering, (oh lord almighty), 18+ (jesus, what if I die), degradation (god damn), one night stand-ish vibes (hey this isn’t the free robux website), belittling stuff (I don’t know the word, I’m dumb ahh)

Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader

A/N - TWENTY QUID TO WHOEVER GUESSED IM DRUNK 🤪🤪🤪😎🥸🤪🤓

Lando. Being nice. Too good to be true? Too good to be true.

You were way too hopeful to expect him to stay nice. The next morning, you walked into the kitchen with a smile on your face, only for it to immediately fall when Lando ignored your radiant grin and your ‘good morning’ quip.

Ah, some things are too good, no? Instead, you chose to busy yourself with house work, when your phone dinged, much to Lando’s annoyance. “It’s ‘Jason’,” Lando said, almost looking to the name in disgust, “who’s Jason?” he added.

“Some guy,” you muttered, moving from dusting to peer at the message instead, your eyes on the words. You’d spoken to Jason a few times on dating apps, and he’d seemed the only decent one, and he’d finally asked you on a date. God, maybe you could finally get over this sexual frustration you had going on.

Jason (tindr dude): so wear, like, pref nothing

‘Pref?’ Who the hell said ‘pref?’ And wear nothing? Jesus, it was the first date, this guy needed some decorum. Lando hadn’t read the message as he slumped onto the sofa, still scrolling through his own phone. You responded with a single ‘sure’ and closed your phone, going back to working.

Jason didn’t know you worked for Lando, he didn’t really know your job, and you weren’t all too keen on telling him either. In case it scared him off, or anything, right? “Lando..?” you said, now that it was fast approaching 4pm. “What?” he said, as if annoyed when he looked up to you.

It surprised you how one person could seriously sit in the same spot for hours on end, all focused on a tiny little rectangle. How did he not have glasses, for gods’ sake? “I was just wondering,” you said, trying to muster the confidence to say it. “Well? Spit it out,” Lando said, rolling his eyes.

“If I could have tonight off?” you finished weakly as your gaze dropped to the floor. “A date? Who the hell asked you on a date?” his words were full of venom as you winced. It wasn’t that he thought you’d were ugly, oh, hell no.

But the thought of some other guy with their filthy little hands all over your gorgeous little body? The anger just happened to land on you, rather than Jason. “Uh, some guy, Jason,” you said, not quite hearing it was a question he hadn’t actually meant for you to answer.

“It was a rhetorical question,” he muttered under his breath, “finish off the work, and I’ll think about it,”. You nodded, rushing to complete the tasks. Lando didn’t want you to go on the date. At all.

Tasks

dust the bookshelf

make dinner

clean the couch

Three tasks. You could finish that if you tried quick enough. So you multi-tasked - you left the pasta to boil as you dusted the bookshelf, and cleaned a few pillows too. It was all well and good - and very much frustrating to Lando. Very.

“Go on your stupid date,” he muttered when you stood in front of him proudly with the pasta bowl. You arrived at the restaurant, looking gorgeous as ever in your baby pink dress, your hair untied, looking radiant. God. You were gorgeous.

“Hey,” Jason smirked when he saw you, “looking good, a little covered though,”. Ew? Straight with the dirty jokes? What the fuck? “Uh, thanks,” you said, eyeing his hoodie and sweats. Lando pulled it off much better.

Wait.

Lando? Why were you thinking of him? This was a date with you and Jason, not Lando, for fucks’ sake. Though a date with Lando didn’t sound too bad…no! Snap out of it, Jason needed your attention, not Lando. “Uh, hey? Bird?” Jason said. Wow. Way to objectify too. Jason was a little ass.

And he looked nothing like this profile picture. The dinner went okay, albeit, it was only 15 minutes into the 6 quid pasta he made you share due to his ‘budget’. “So,” Jason grinned, with what he probably thought was an attractive smirk, “wanna head home and get…busy?”.

Oh how you wanted to say no. But you were sexually frustrated and there was only so much a vibrator could do. So you begrudgingly agreed, following Jason to his lousy car, sitting in and avoiding the fast food bags on the floor, trying not to touch the grease marks along what could have been a decent car seat.

Thank god Lando’s car was better. No! Fuck, why was he always coming up? You didn’t like Lando like that! Surely not, right? Jason’s apartment was just as icky as you expected, as he led you to a gross bed, the sheets sticky and full of crumbs as he worked at removing your dress.

Wow, congratulations. His dick was small too. Great. This, ladies and gentlemen, was a man who thought taking off a girl’s bra was adequate foreplay. In the end, this lousy excuse for a ‘man’ was so ridiculously shit at sex, that you faked it and made an excuse to walk your goldfish, and left for Lando’s.

“Nice date, he must’ve finished fast,” Lando said, checking his watch. You hadn’t even been gone an hour, the damn drive had been longer than the experience. You grumbled something incoherent, crossing your arms as Lando eyed your mascara.

“You’ve been crying,” he said, his words more a statement than a question. “Might have,” you mumbled begrudgingly, eyes on the floor as you sank into the sofa. “Was he that bad?” you were surprised Lando wasn’t even belittling you anymore. “I faked it,” you said, pointedly refusing to look him in the eye.

“Couldn’t even make you cum?” he said, your eyes wide at how blunt he was. “Well, I’m gonna say it how it is,” Lando said, an amused twinkle in his eyes. He didn’t even seem bothered by your surprise. “What was the reason? Too small? Couldn’t even pleasure you right? Couldn’t find the clit?”.

Lord, you’d never heard it out more lewd than Lando had just said. “All of it,” you said, cheeks rosy as he frowned. “So…you’re horny and you faked it,” he said, summarising the events pretty well. You nodded as he tsked, his eyes trained on you.

“Well,” he said, like he was expecting something, making you look up with a frown. “I’m not having my assistant all worked up and horny, deal with it,” Lando grumbled. He wanted you to get off? Here? In the bathroom? Somewhere else? “I…uh,” you said, looking down to your thighs before back to him.

“You’re fucking incapable, Y/N,” Lando said, using your first name instead of ‘you’ or ‘assistant’. Your breath hitched as he moved in front of you, lifting you up with ease as he admired your body under the dress. You let out a little huff as he dropped you onto the sofa properly, your legs splayed across the pillows, subconsciously wrapping round his waist.

“I have to help you with everything, don’t I?” Lando scowled, his voice laced with mocking as he looked down at you. “You’re useless, Y/N,”. You would’ve protested or said you weren’t had it not been for the closeness, or the fact that his hand was trailing up your inner thigh, tugging your panties down.

“These are small,” he mused, looking at the thin lace in his hand as you blushed, “I’ll keep them for later,” he pushed it into his pocket, moving his attention to lift your dress. “Holy shit…” he gasped, his scowl falling off as he looked between your legs.

Surely this was a slice of heaven, no? God. You were beautiful. You hissed as he ran a finger between your folds, you were so damn wet and for what? His words? “Desperate, huh?” Lando smirked, mirroring your thoughts. “I have my finger on your clit, Y/N,” he said, a gasp leaving your lips as he planted his finger with just the right pressure.

“You’re really gonna be embarrassed now?” Lando said with a mock pout, his tone belittling as he dipped his finger into your hole. “Wow, Jason was real shit, wasn’t he?” Lando mused, “couldn’t even stretch you out,”.

A small mewl left your lips as he curled his digit, his thumb stroking across your sensitive clit. “Wow, so responsieve,” he hummed, his movements becoming easier and easier with your wetness. “Is that a good enough demonstration? Or need me to help you finish it all?” he raised a brow.

“Are you that pathetic, Y/N?”

Yes. You were so desperate for him, you didn’t care about your own dignity anymore, just the way he curled his finger so perfectly, how he hit places you could only dream off. Fuck. “Lando, god,” you choked out, his other finger pressed in as well, stretching you out. “Need me to do it for you?” Lando repeated his words.

“Y-Yes,” you gasped, eyes rolling as he sped up, your high building in your stomach. “Pathetic,” he clucked his tongue, “useless, pathetic little girl,”. Lando was meant to be scolding you, and any normal person would feel ashamed or annoyed at the words but you? No, it just helped build up the heat.

“Gonna cum, now?” Lando gritted his teeth, leaning forwards, his fangs bared slightly. “Go on, then. Cum for me,”. Your back arched at his words, your release washing over you as you shuddered, a satisfied smirk across Lando’s face. “Good,” he said simply, moving his fingers as you clenched.

His jaw went slack as he watched you, his olive eyes scanning your oh-so gorgeous, spent body. “Learn to do things yourself,” Lando said through gritted teeth (though he didn’t mind awfully helping you in some areas), “or if you need me to do it for you, just ask,”.

A/N - a h aha ha ha ha ha ha haha remember when lando won a race? last week jn miami? ha ha ha hé was so good, btu when’s oscar gonna win a race, ive been waitign soooooooooo logn ha ha ha hahahah. my friend hda to proff tead my fic hahahaha ha ha

[hot-take-tournament]

HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT!

PRELIMINARY #242

Submission 51

Balloon Boy is a good character and does not deserve hate.

I would like to be very vulnerable despite my anonymity and put forward a letter of sorts I wrote to the FNAF community when I was around 13-14 years old and even less medicated than I am now. I never posted this letter anywhere and it has sat in an old kids' PDF book creator app on my iPad for almost ten years. It's cringe. It's dumb. I was frustrated with a community I was hardly a part of. But even today I still don't think Balloon Boy is as terrible as the fandom made (and still makes) him out to be. Maybe I'm just more resistant to repetitive sounds, I dunno. He was a major comfort character for me, for whatever reason, so I must confess my continued bias. The following is that weird manifesto I wrote in a "fit of annoyance."

And I quote,

"A message to all Balloon Boy haters: We're the ones that know true sympathy. Of course, there ARE the ones who are truly evil, but then there are the ones that did not realize their wrong until it was too late. You, my fellow FNAF lovers, still have much to learn... Sure, you can say that you are not fond of a certain object, place or person, a noun, but that does not mean that you must tell the world in great detail. Saying it once or twice, okay, now the ones you've told know you don't like who, what or where. But if you keep bringing it up, that can lead to loneliness. Abandonment even. We all have our differences. This is true, and I respect all of that. But just because there's a divide doesn't necessarily make us different. We all have opinions. But just because it's your opinion doesn't make it a universal fact. Respect the other peoples opinions. 'WHAT???!! How can you like that??!!!' Try not to ask questions like that with so much intensity. A simple 'Why?' can suffice. Don't go into detail. Once you learn the reasons of the opinion, then maybe you can understand our sympathy.

It's not just because he's 'cute' or whatever. Think of if he had feelings. Sure, you can say 'But he's just a fictional character! Stop sympathizing!' but that would rule out your opinion too. By saying we cannot sympathize because he is not a real person, you basically have to cancel out any emotion directed toward him except neutrality BECAUSE YOU JUST SAID HE IS FICTIONAL. If he is truly fictional, then we cannot have any type of feelings whatsoever towards him, whether love or hate. Everyone has their faults. Just because someone is annoying does not mean they are evil and the devil. Being annoying isn't really evil. Think if he was the actual one to kill you. Sure, they could be intentionally annoying just to irritate someone, and do it a lot, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are evil. I respect everyone's opinion, and I am not aiming to convert everyone to respecting BB, but at least give him some credit. He does his job, doesn't he? If you hate him, alright, that's fine, but it's not very courteous or friendly to make a big deal of it and shun us BB lovers. Your opinions are opinions, not facts. I will admit, BB can be annoying, but at least feel sympathy a little and respect everyone's different opinion. Also, just because I view stuff where BB is considered 'part of the illuminati' or 'the enragement child' doesn't mean I'm a BB hater myself. I take those remarks as JOKES. Even if I'm wrong, I make it seem to myself that those people aren't hating Balloon Boy, they just found aspects of him to fit into certain jokes that would be considered humorous.

Thank you."

Obviously I was incredibly dramatic. I was waxing poetic to hundreds of thousands of people who would never read my words. I don't think it would have changed anything in the fandom and I probably would have been kys'd off the internet, so it's probably good I didn't post it anywhere. I didn't even have any proper social media past Google+ at the time anyway. Do I still agree with my younger self? For the most part, yeah! Their wording left something to be desired, obviously. I don't think "We're the ones that know true sympathy," is all that impactful even if it sounds fancy. It's just fandom drama, younger me. I wasn't wrong, though! The hate towards Balloon Boy due to his game mechanic and annoying laugh was incredibly blown out of proportion. In FNAF fandom culture at the time he was almost only ever characterized as The Worst Child Ever(tm) and bullied to all hell even though his characterization was next to none...just like every other animatronic, really. Maybe that's just a general fandom problem, but I digress. He could have still been the annoying kid without becoming the antichrist or whatever.

Balloon Boy is a cute little kid who happens to be a troublemaker, basically. That's all he is. Maybe calm down and lessen up on animating Freddy smashing this poor kid's head into the wall in SFM, I dunno.

Sorry it took so long for me to post this. I know it takes guts to be vulnerable on the internet, even anonymously <3

Propaganda is always encouraged!

And remember to reblog your favourite polls for exposure!

[sillythoughtsaboutstupidthings]

Why is nothing simple and functional anymore?

This is something I've been thinking about for a while and comes up in conversation from time to time regarding things like car interiors or the very existence of "smart" appliances. But at least in those cases you can buy a used car with all the knobs and buttons you could ever want and there are still "dumb" appliances available (although likely built to a much lower standard than they were 20 years ago).

What has got me wondering where our collective sanity has gone was when I started looking for a replacement for my electric toothbrush yesterday. Turns out every single one on the market tries to be your personal dentist, or rather your annoying mom, bothering you repeatedly as you're brushing to make sure you do it their way. A 2 minute timer and a stop to remind you to brush somewhere else every 30 seconds is now just the default on every single electric toothbrush I could find that wasn't what seemed like some leftover old stock of the model I have, which is probably 10 years old or more at this point. I'm unclear as to the degree to which these brushes turn off automatically after the 2 minutes are up, I did see a video review for a more advanced "smart" toothbrush that praised it for turning off automatically, so maybe that "feature" is restricted to higher-end models. I think it's worth mentioning that my old model actually has timer that makes it temporarily stop and buzz in a few pulses every 2 minutes, which is a mild annoyance that I thought was the result of the motor spazzing out because I was pushing too hard sometimes or something, turns out it was a "feature". But at least it only does it once every 2 minutes (so typically only once per session) and goes back to brushing.

The great question is: Why the hell isn't there an electric toothbrush on the market that simply starts when you press the button and stops when you press the button again, with no interruption? Surely there's a market for that, surely I'm not the only person that doesn't want to slavishly obey a timer set by our corporate overlords? Surely?

At this point it almost seems like you have to get one of those über expensive ones that comes with some stupid app just to be able to disable the god damn timer. The ones where you pay more just to give them data about your fucking tooth brushing habits, because nothing says "smart" like cataloging your tooth brushing habits in some database somewhere for some hacker to inevitably come along and breach. Assuming they even allow you to disable the timer. God knows they have to treat us like fucking children who don't know how to brush our own god damned teeth.

"No no little Timmy you can't just brush however you want! You must remember to always spend exactly 30 seconds on each quadrant of your mouth little Timmy. Don't you know that 9 out of 10 dentists recommend brushing each quadrant of your teeth for exactly 30 seconds? Timmy you must follow what the dentists say, you mustn't deviate in the slightest, that is simply not acceptable behavior. What would your insurance provider say if they saw you?"

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP YOU'RE NOT MY FUCKING MOM I'M A FULLY GROWN ADULT I KNOW HOW TO FUCKING BRUSH MY TEETH

It's a bleak future we live in where we let such a simple aspect of our lives be controlled by the programming of the tool that should be working for us, especially when that tool is a fucking toothbrush.

[yougotthat-write]

Tinder (Rafael Barba x Reader)

Word Count: 2,400

Warnings: Female reader, fluff, Rollisi shenanigans, cringey and inappropriate pick-up lines, potential PTSD for former/current users of dating apps and all the awkwardness that ensues from it :)

Summary: Amanda and Sonny try to find the perfect match for their uptight (and while he would never admit it - lonely) A.D.A.

Read on AO3 here!

It had started off as a joke, really.

Rafael Barba would never sign up onto a dating app if it wasn’t against his will. When he heard the snickering of Amanda and Sonny when he stopped by the 16th precinct, his feet couldn’t help themselves but bring him over to the two detectives.

Amanda bit her cheek to settle herself as the ADA’s polished shoes made their way over. Sonny’s ears turned pink at the tips, which gave Rafael the tell-tale sign that Sonny and Amanda were up to no good.

Hands in his pockets, Rafael quipped, “What?”

Amanda and Sonny exchanged glances. The silence between the two was not a normal thing but when Rafael asked a second time - more aggressive - Sonny held out a cell phone to the lawyer. Rafael’s brows went up in question but when Sonny motioned him to take it, Rafael grabbed it. Looking down at the device, the screen lit up and a plethora of information singed itself into his brain.

Rafael Barba, 37

Manhattan, NY

Assistant District Attorney

Oh baby, I’ll give you so much due process, standing will be the only issue.

Rafael’s eyes widened at the dumb pick-up line. His thumb swiped through the photos. One was of an appearance on the news - dressed up in a suit on the steps of the courthouse with a furrowed brow and serious look on his face. One was him at Forlini’s - scowling over the rim of his bourbon while sitting at the bar next to a grinning Sonny. He remembered when Amanda took this picture. It was the day he told Sonny he could be his second chair. Another picture showed him actually smiling - dressed in a Tom Ford tuxedo, champagne flute in one hand while the other was resting on the waist of his date for that night. She was an oil company lobbyist that he hooked up with sometimes when she wasn’t in D.C.

“What is this?” Rafael’s eyes hardened as he looked up at the two detectives. Sonny flinched at Rafael’s tone. Amanda simply blinked at Rafael. She wasn’t one to deal with attitude willingly but given how uptight Rafael could be sometimes, she was letting it slide. Rafael’s eyes went back down to the dating profile and he felt an annoyance bubble within him. “What the hell is this?”

“Calm down,” Amanda said as she grabbed the phone back with a roll of her eyes. “It’s just a dating profile.”

“Of me!” Rafael looked at Amanda like she was speaking some foreign, alien language. “Why does it exist?”

Sonny’s face seemed to become more pink. A hand went to the back of his neck, rubbing it as his mentor for all intents and purposes became more annoyed. “We just thought it would be fun-”

“You thought it would be fun impersonating a Manhattan A.D.A.!” Rafael’s voice was raised. A few passing officers gave some glances to the group. Amanda waved a dismissive hand to one of them, letting them know that Rafael wasn’t someone to worry about when angry. “You’re lucky I don’t have you arrested.”

Amanda snorted, “We were going to tell you about it when we got you a date.”

“Yeah,” Sonny added, “we just thought you were stressed lately and needed someone to... ya know.”

If looks could kill, Rafael Barba would have murdered two very well-liked and very hard working detectives right then and there in a New York police precinct. He would have to tell Olivia that she would be short staffed for god knows how long.

Rafael’s fingers came up to pinch the bridge of his nose, taking a hard breath before looking back at the detectives. “You think I need your help getting laid?”

Sonny’s mouth gaped like a goldfish, trying to find words but nothing seemed to make itself at home in his pretty little head. He looked over at Amanda with wide eyes, hoping for her to smooth over the situation. Amanda simply shrugged her shoulders, “It’s not that we think you can’t get laid, Counselor,” she paused, eyes almost sympathetic and it made Rafael’s nostrils flare, “you just haven’t had… anyone around… long-term, you know?”

“I’m struggling to find where this is any of your concern,” Rafael pointed a finger at the two of them, “or why you would think I would find it on a dating app.” Rafael’s mind was flooding with things to make the lives of these two detectives a living hell. Maybe if he pulled some strings with Olivia, she’d put them on desk duty for a few weeks. “I want it deleted - get rid of it!”

Amanda held the device out of the prosecutor’s reach, giving him a few nods of understanding but she needed to tell him of one important thing, “But before we do that, you should know that there’s someone who matched with you-” Sonny nodded enthusiastically, “and she messaged you - us? - back.”

“It’s why we were laughing,” Sonny’s smile faltered when met with the fiery gaze of Rafael. He cleared his throat before continuing, “we found the dumb pick-up line on the internet and she shot back with one of her own.”

Rafael’s fire was lessened with the mention of a match. And she happened to message him? Amanda stepped closer to Rafael, finger mindlessly swiping from one screen and to another. There Rafael had seen the actual large amount of messages he was getting. “Seems like more than one match.” He muttered under his breath. And while this whole ordeal wasn’t something he necessarily wanted, the temporary boost of his ego made his shoulders straighten and his tongue dart over his lower lip.

“You’re very popular, Counselor,” Amanda’s brows wagged.

“But we like her the most,” Sonny said, “she seems fun!”

Rafael’s eyes rolled, before they settled on Amanda’s phone.

Are you the Court of Appeals because I’m tryna get overturned.

After he read the message, he couldn’t help the snicker. Back in his Harvard days, Rafael had heard just about every dumb pick-up line you could think of that was in the realm of lawyers. He may have even used a few of them but could you blame the guy. Rafael watched Amanda switch over to your profile.

Rafael swallowed. And then he grabbed the phone out of Amanda's hands. She let out a protest but Rafael had taken a few steps away and studied your profile like it was a law book and he had a final the next day.

It stated your name and your age. Then the same location as Rafael - Manhattan, NY. Your job was stated simply as a lawyer. Huh. That certainly piqued Rafael’s interest. In your bio, you had:

What better alibi could you have than spending the night with me?

He swiped through your photos. One was of you at the Central Park Zoo, scowling at a monkey who was seemingly doing the same thing back at you. Another was of you at a bar or a club - one arm thrown over the shoulder of another woman and a fruity drink held in your free hand. Your attention was focused on your drink rather than your friend or the person taking the picture. The last photo was of you at a brunch of some kind. You held up a mimosa with a wide smile and a large sun hat atop your head.

“Did you say anything back?” Rafael asked. Amanda shook her head with a smirk. You were certainly attractive and if you had taken the time to message Rafael on the cursed app then you must have thought that he was attractive too. He went back to the message you sent and swallowed again. “W-what should I say?”

Amanda’s smirk didn’t falter as she stepped over to Rafael, plucking the phone out of his frozen hands. Rafael heard the speedy tapping of the blonde woman’s fingers, tapping out a message quickly. Sonny stepped over, peeking down over Amanda’s shoulder. Rafael watched Sonny’s face as it went from curiosity to what Amanda was writing and to a lopsided smile, essentially giving his approval of the message.

Rafael didn’t like the idea of Sonny approving anything of his - especially if it came to how he got a date but he patiently waited until a swoosh noise came from the phone. Rafael stepped over to see what she had written but Amanda’s fingers were quick with logging out of the app and swiftly deleting it off her phone.

“Hey-” Rafael couldn’t stop the protest from his lips, brows furrowed. Amanda ignored him, grabbing a sticky note and a pen. She scrawled the login information for the account and slapped it onto his chest.

“I don’t want it on my phone if that conversation starts to get dirty,” Amanda said. Sonny chuckled.

“I think it started out pretty fiery.”

Rafael held the sticky note in his fingers. He could feel his phone in his suit pocket. It felt hot and electric against him, even through all the layers of clothes he wore. “Nevertheless, I’m deleting the account,” he looked over the two detectives with a hard gaze, “and you are to never to do this again. Or else I will be put in jail for voluntary manslaughter.” Amanda swiftly ignored Rafael’s threat whereas Sonny seemed to take it more seriously. The lanky man gave a nod before settling himself at his desk.

Rafael stepped away from the detectives’ desks and dug his phone out from his pocket. His fingers twitched and he felt this wave of embarrassment wash over him as he searched the app’s name and watched it download onto his phone. It seemed to take hours for the dumb thing to fully be situated onto his device. He tapped it, used the sticky note information to log in and was greeted with new profiles to swipe across. He ignored them and went to his messages to see what the pesky blonde detective had said. He hoped it wasn’t something too inappropriate. The last thing Rafael needed was headlines of him sexually harassing women over social media.

He hesitated for a second before tapping on the messages with you. He took a deep breath. He felt nervous. Was it because of the potential can of worms that Amanda could have unleashed? Was it because he found you attractive? Was it because the two detectives were right and it had been a while since he’s had anyone around? While Rafael was capable of finding a temporary suitor to share his bed, he couldn’t find anyone to become something more permanent.

His eyes searched the screen, brain trying to quickly decipher the jumble of letters on his screen. “Ay Dios mío,” Rafael muttered under his breath and the grip on his phone tightened. Rafael thought he read the message a dozen times, just over and over again, trying to really see if Amanda truly did send this to you. He tapped various spaces on his phone, trying to see if there was an undo button but to no avail, the message taunted him.

Something something dictum. Sleep with me.

Rafael was caught off guard by Olivia who called his name from her office door. Rafael cleared his throat, slid his phone back into his pocket with one hand and slid the other down his chest, smoothing out any wrinkles in his shirt. Rafael finally remembered why he was there at the precinct. He needed to do his job and watch a line-up be conducted. Olivia had sounded very confident over the phone, so he figured he had a simple day.

He had spent the rest of his day watching various victims come forward to pick out their attacker confidently. When the defense lawyer monotonously asked to speak with his client after the lineups were done, Rafael felt his phone buzz. For a brief moment, Rafael had forgotten the dating app debacle. He wondered if it was Carmen, telling him of more paperwork and messages that needed to be signed and answered.

But no, it wasn’t Carmen.

It was a notification from the stupid app.

You have a new message!

Rafael bit down on his bottom lip, finger hovering over the notification. He took a breath and tapped his phone. God, what is wrong with me? Grow some cojones, Barba. Rafael watched the screen load and then plaster your message into his line of vision.

Ah, this definitely is a catfish account because there’s no way an ADA would use a line like that.

Rafael smirked. Took a moment to think and then started to type.

The DA has very low standards these days.

You messaged back quickly.

If they’re hiring based on looks, then I’d say they have very high standards, Counselor.

Rafael’s hand lifted to scratch at his jaw, a smile breaking across his face. His eyes widened at another message from you.

Does the prosecution want to rest at my place later tonight?

The forwardness from you made Rafael’s smile turn into a smirk. If Olivia or Sonny had seen him, they would even consider to call it a cocky smirk.

Would you want to meet for drinks first or just take this back to chambers?

I suppose I could side-bar for some drinks.

Great!

He paused before sending another message.

Let’s just agree to not use any more lawyer puns.

Objection!

After setting up a time to meet up at a swanky bar later that night, Rafael entered the bullpen again but with an air of confidence about him. Amanda noticed the shift in energy within the counselor. The corner of her mouth ticked up, fingers fiddling with a pen as she leaned back in her chair, side-eyeing Rafael. “Line-up went well?”

Rafael picked a piece of nonexistent lint off his suit jacket. “It went great, Rollins.” She hummed quietly, eyes studying every inch of his face with amusement.

“We’re heading to Forlini’s tonight,” Amanda stated, “would you like to come?” At the mention of Forlini’s, Sonny peeked over at the two of them from his laptop.

Rafael gave one curt shake of his head. “I’m afraid I’m busy tonight.” And with that, Rafael had turned and exited the bullpen and towards the elevator. Even though he hated it in theory of what Amanda and Sonny did, Rafael couldn’t deny that he didn’t not like the outcome of it.

[violetsoju]

page 30彡★

kageyama tobio · fluff · 3.2k

a/n: came up w this idea based on a tiktok vid of this trend that randomly popped up on my feed (which i can't find anymore T_T) do let me know if you enjoyed it! ❤️

“Hey, Tobio.”

The mop of raven hair doesn’t look up to you, eyes fixated on the jiggly onsen tamago on top of the curry tonkatsu.

“There’s this new trend going on.”

He hums in response, fingers gripping onto a pair of wooden chopsticks, manoeuvring the fragile soft lump towards the spoon. Just a few more steps till being cradled snugly in the deep end of the cool ceramic spoon.

“And we’re gonna learn the moves and film it right here after this.”

His fingers twitch. One of the long pointy chopsticks loses its cool and stabs the tamago right in the core, streaks of yellow bleeding across the crisp golden brown tonkatsu. Its counterpart desperately tries to put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding, but too much yolk has been lost, and more jabs were made in the frantic rescue mission. Not even the string of ‘shit’ muttered could save the day. So long, dear onsen tamago.

You’re finally met with piercing blue eyes glaring at you.

“No. And look at what you did to my onsen tamago.”

“You should’ve scooped it up with your spoon instead of pushing it with your chopsticks. Common sense much?” You thank the waitress for the hot steaming tempura udon. “Plus, you’re supposed to break the yolk and coat the luscious essence over your rice, unless you’re a freak and eat it in one go.”

Kageyama’s scowl softens when a piece of fried tempura lands in his bowl in exchange for a piece of tonkatsu. A glint of delight gleams in the two pair of eyes at the first bite of delicious food, taste buds tingling in satisfaction.

It’s a rainy Wednesday night. And rainy nights call for warm comfort food to make up for the gloomy wet weather brought by the pitter patter parade of fat rain droplets. So after a spontaneous text message, here you are, with an old close friend of yours, inside a small cosy shop hidden in an alleyway without any prior arrangements.

“And let me repeat myself. I’m not going to do any dumb dance trends with you again.” Kageyama restates his point firmly.

“Come on, you had so much fun the last time! Even Tsukki sent a good job sticker in the group chat.” You reason.

“You mean he enjoyed seeing me almost tripping over my feet.”

“That was the highlight, to be honest.”

He smacks your chopsticks away with his at your attempt to snag another piece of tonkatsu, not giving in into your pout.

“Anyway, I was just kidding. You’re in luck this time because it’s not a dance trend.”

Kageyama raises an eyebrow at you suspiciously, tilting his head to ask you to continue on.

“This time it’s a trend where you grab your nearest book, turn to page 30, and the first sentence will describe your love life. Interesting, isn’t it?”

“Just when I thought you’ve outgrown these ridiculous nonsenses.”

“Says the one who still insists on drinking a box of strawberry milk before matches.” You jab your chopsticks towards his direction accusingly.

“That’s different because it actually works. And it’s good.” He counterattacks by returning your gesture.

“I hate to say this but, point taken.”

He triumphantly snickers as you sigh in defeat.

“Aren’t you curious on how my love life is described?” You question, blowing off the steam from your spoon full of udon.

Kageyama chomps on another piece of pork cutlet, unamused at your question. “If you’re generous enough to share, I’d be honoured.”

“‘He smiles’”

“What?”

“That’s the first sentence on my page 30. ‘He smiles’.” You reply matter-of-factly, taking a sip of your hot green tea.

“What’s that even supposed to mean?” His brows knit in confusion, hands momentarily forgetting the spoonful of curry rice in hand.

“Use your imagination, Tobio. Awaken your romantic cells.” You gesture with your hands dramatically, earning a deadpan look from the boy seated across you.

“Does it mean whoever’s smiling is the love of your life? Or someone who’s always smiling?” Kageyama rests his cheek against his left knuckle, trying to connect the dots together.

“Well-“

“Wait a minute! Don’t tell me it’s Suga-san. Because if it is, I won’t allow it because Suga-san is way too good for you.”

He yelps as you not-so-accidentally dip your chopsticks stained with broth into his green tea.

“Shush, we both know how much Suga-san adores me. And everyone else.” You smugly take another bite of your fried tempura as he frowns in disgust after drinking the now broth infused green tea.

“I guess it’s feeling of love at the sight of his smile? Like feeling all warm and fuzzy seeing him smile.”

“Is there someone who makes you feel that way with their smile?”

You swirl the udon with your chopsticks mindlessly for a moment. “Maybe there is.”

You look up to the pair of blue eyes staring back at you, holding the intense gaze firmly, neither side backing down to break the tension.

“Do I know him?” Kageyama falters, a hint of anxiousness cracks in his voice.

“Since when were you so interested in my love life?” You laugh awkwardly, hoping to conceal your nervousness.

Despite the surrounding bustling chatter, the world suddenly falls painstakingly silent, with the irregular beats of two young hearts thumping deafeningly and out of rhythm.

The raven-haired boy succumbs first, looking back down to his half empty bowl. You continue swirling your bowl of udon, mentally slapping yourself at your answer and cracking your head to come up with something to save the mood.

“Well, I could help to scan him for you, if you want. Boys know boys better after all,”

You snap back up to look at the boy seated across you, eyes not meeting yours. This is a surprise.

“Plus, you can save the tears and snot to yourself because I might not be free to attend to your midnight crying sessions. If it really happens.”

A surge of warmth radiates throughout your body at his words. Definitely not from the hot bowl of udon.

Kageyama still has his eyes on the bowl before him, looking anywhere else but you. He tries to keep himself busy by scooping more rice, groaning as he further destroys the onsen tamago, unaware of the faint blush painting his cheeks. Definitely not from the hot bowl of curry, too.

“Don’t worry, he isn’t a jerk. I’m sure you’ll like him too.” You chuckle, adjusting your chopsticks to pick up more udon.

Oh, Kageyama Tobio, what exactly should I do with you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽.* :☆ﾟ. ───

Scroll. Refresh. Switch apps. Repeat. Sigh.

You’ve been stuck in this constant loop for the past hour. Instead of getting much needed sleep for the next day, you subject yourself to the chains of the device held in your hand, despite the drooping eyelids and strained arm muscles.

What’s so fascinating about social media anyway? If it’s not friends or random acquaintances posting sinful food pics of ootds, it’d be someone ranting about either their work or love life, or memes you’ve already seen before. Sometimes you wonder if you’ve been casted a spell by social media.

Crying out a yelp as the gadget lands right in your face at the slip of your hands, you massage your nose bridge and forehead from the impact, grimacing in pain. It’s not easy being a slave to social media, huh.

Tossing your phone to the side, you roll over to lie flat on your back, sprawled like a star fish on your bed. A long sigh escapes your lips, eyes staring blankly at the bare celling above. Maybe you should really call it a day.

A beep from your phone tells you otherwise.

Tobio [23:17]

I did it. You owe me one box of strawberry milk.

[23:18]

IMG_20210402_961222

You immediately plop yourself up to sit cross-legged on your bed, tapping on the notification to open the message. As expected of Kageyama Tobio, it was a full-page picture of a book, with a small number 30 on the top left-hand corner. But unexpectedly of Kageyama Tobio too, the page wasn’t from those volleyball books or magazines stacked in the corner of his room. Looks like the mini ramble session you gave him on the way to the metro station worked.

“I know volleyball is the love of your life too, but we’re talking about your actual love life here! So no volleyball books or magazines, go rummage Miwa-san’s book shelf for one random romance novel. Just one. She’ll thank me for taking care of your love life.”

Sliding both your thumbs outwards on the screen to zoom in, your lips press together to form an ‘o’, brows arching in fascination at the first sentence.

She knows.

Interesting.

Your fingers dance across the screen swiftly.

me [23:20]

Ohhh interesting. See, it’s exciting, isn’t it?

Tobio [23:21]

I guess so

me [23:22]

Do you think it describes your love life well?

To actually imagine Kageyama Tobio having something that he loves as much as volleyball is, an odd and foreign feeling.

Tobio [23:24]

I’m not sure tbh

me [23:25]

Well spill the tea so I can help you analyse it

Tobio [23:25]

No

You swear you would throw punches at him if he was beside you now.

me [23:26]

Tsk tsk, so who’s the girl you’ve been hiding from me

Tobio [23:27]

Since when were you interested in my love life?

The use of your own words against you has you clicking your tongue in amusement.

You were contemplating between a civil or sarcastic remark when a new message bubble pops up.

Tobio [23:29]

But do you think she knows?

me [23:30]

About what?

Tobio [23:31]

Nvm, forget what I said

Seriously? This conversation is by no means, ending like this. You tap on the video icon on the right-hand corner of the screen hastily.

It takes a few rings for the familiar face to appear on screen, face a little too close to the camera, brows furrowed, lips pursed.

“What the heck, do you know what time it is?” Kageyama huffs in annoyance, running his fingers through his dishevelled black hair.

“Says the one who sent me such juicy information at this hour.” You bend your legs up, resting your hand on your knees for a better angle.

He throws his head back exasperatedly, muttering something inaudible along the static noise from the speakers, resting his head on a wooden frame you recognise. He still hasn’t changed his bed that he has long outgrown, complaining about soreness in his legs and arms that dangle off the edge every night.

“How do you expect me to go to bed with you hanging me like this? You have the worst timing ever.” You raise your hands in protest.

Kageyama buries half of his face in his palm. “I shouldn’t have listened to you.”

“But you get a box of strawberry milk from this! It’s worth it.” You gesture a finger gun to him knowingly.

He moves two fingers away from his face, peeking to see you through the screen like a child. Heaving a long, heavy sigh, he shifts his weight to sit up properly, half of his face still cradled in his palm.

“So, ‘she knows’, huh. Back to your question. What do you think she knows?” A tinge of excitement and fear bubble up your throat.

Kageyama avoids your gaze, looking to the side. “Well, I mean, about my, er- my feelings, I guess?”

“You mean your heart.”

The sentence has his eyes back on you, vivid blue eyes clouded by the shadows of dimly lit room.

“Yeah, uhm, well, I guess.” His voice trails off.

“Well, have you told her before?” You keep your voice steady.

“No, of course.” His words come out like a whisper.

“Then how is she going to know without any words or actions?” It comes out like a blunt statement, but somewhere deep down, a wave of relief washes over you.

“But I’m always there for her. Whenever she needs me, wherever she is, I try my best to be there for her,” Passionate flames ignite across the vast blue ocean. “I know something is on her mind when she bites the insides of her cheeks, when she flicks the tip of her thumb with her index finger constantly, or when she plays with the piercings on her ears. I’m not one with words, but I stay by her side when she needs me to, listening to her rambles or vents, or wiping away tears that stain her cheeks soft like mochi.

“I set notifications the night before to give her morning calls during her exams or important days because she tends to snooze the alarm on days like these. I always have extra band-aids ready on hand because she always somehow cuts and hurts herself, which hurts my heart too. Heck, I even learn ridiculous things that would be the death of me just for her, because nothing compares to the sparkle in her eyes when she flashes her precious smile, brighter than the sun that takes my breath away every time. I-”

Kageyama stops midway, face painted with horror as if he just let out a million-dollar secret. Panic flares in his eyes, mouth agape in incredulity as his body rigids, dumbstruck with terror by what rolled off his tongue so smoothly. You wonder if the line got disconnected because he turned into a static image, with a full-blown flustered look on his face.

You wave at the screen. “Tobio, you still there?”

It takes a few seconds for the raven-haired boy to snap back to his senses and regain his composure, coughing awkwardly in attempt to calm himself down. Small patches of blush blooming furiously on his cheeks peek out from his hands covering his mouth.

He looks cute.

No, he’s cute.

He’s always been cute.

“I- Er- Ye- Yeah, I’m still here.” Kageyama struggles to find words from his tad-larger-than-average vocabulary vault that has seem to disappear into thin air.

“Gosh, breathe Tobio, breathe. Come on, take a deep breath with me. One, two, three.”

He exhales deeply at the count of three with eyes shut close, hoping that all his jitters have been expelled away in the air.

“There you go. Feel better now?” Your lips tug up gently as the boy on the screen visibly relaxes, shoulders loosening from the tension, face free of creased lines.

He opens his eyes slowly, blinking a few times to adjust his vision before returning a soft smile to you. “Yeah, I do. Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

A tranquil silence blankets over the both of you. This time, the steady beats of two young hearts thump in tune like a metronome. Two young souls gaze at each other, basking in the calmness and comfort of the sincere warm smiles that felt so much like home; but too proud to admit they were like lovesick fools, brushing off the feelings that were screaming loudly to be heard, feelings that they were afraid to face.

“Do you think she knows?” It’s a genuine question, one that takes a mountain high of courage to come up with.

“I’m sure she does.” It’s a genuine answer, one that takes a of couple hundred meters of might to emerge from the deep ends of the sea to come up with.

And you both hope that you’re on the same wavelength.

“So back to square one. Who’s the girl?”

“None of your business.”

“Another piece of crap from you and I’ll leave without you at the metro station tomorrow.”

“Sorry.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽.* :☆ﾟ. ───

When you reach the designated exit of the metro station the next day, a pair of eyes as blue as the day immediately catches your attention among the crowd, feet shuffling on its own accord towards them. As if there was a detector sensing your presence within him, the owner of the beautiful pair of orbs turns to you, raising a hand in greeting.

Kageyama gives you a smile, a smile that says, ‘I hope my smile makes you feel warm and fuzzy’.

You smile back at him, with a smile that says, ‘I hope you know that I know your heart’.

It’s hard to shake off the pride to be damned, but the two lovesick fools find themselves discarding it slowly, bit by bit with each step taken, together.

【☾】

Kageyama is a creature of routine. He always has his day planned out in detail and hates it when it doesn’t go according to plan, or when something pops out of the blue. But there are a few which he can make exceptions for. So when he receives your text asking for dinner after his training session, he agrees in a heartbeat.

He felt his heart sink deeply in his guts when you said there was, indeed, someone who made you feel warm and fuzzy with their smile. But who was he to have his say when his status was merely just a close friend?

Miwa thought he had lost it when he barged into her room without notice that night, scanning her bookshelf for novels, specifically of the romance genre. It was more nerve-wrecking than retaking exams back in high school with Hinata while flipping through the pages, and it didn’t help much when he finally found the particular page, with the first line inked in black staring back at him in doubt.

He doesn’t know why he sent the picture of the page to you. What exactly was he expecting?

Worse, he doesn’t even know why he started blabbing about how he was always there for you, how much he cares for you, and how much you mean to him. It all just came out so naturally that he could actually score an A+ for impromptu speaking.

But when your eyes were filled with concern while calming him down instead of making fun of him or pestering him for more, something flutters in his mind. Maybe it was from the rush of adrenaline from before, or maybe it was his heart that had leaped out from his chest taking over. He brings up the question once again, with more confidence this time.

He knows you’re not one to lie with your eyes. And he sees the kindness and honesty in them.

A ray of hope flickers in him.

So today, Kageyama musters up every ounce of courage he has, and tells himself it’s now or never: to close the gap he has longed for so long between two hands that swayed side by side. Instead of retreating his hands away when they brush against yours, he curls the tip of his fingers with yours delicately, as if your fingers would melt at his touch.

He hopes that he made the right decision.

And when your fingers curl back, intertwined with his, he knows he has made the right decision, and that his question has been answered.

She knows.

And the fact that he’s the one behind the smile that makes you go all warm and fuzzy, he swears it feels like he could run for miles and miles without running out of breath, soaring even higher than the clouds in the skies. None of the perfect sets he has set in his lifetime could compare to the satisfaction and bliss he was feeling right now.

Because you had set his life ablaze the moment fate brought the both of you together, and you’re his end game.

[ilovebeingcalledawhore]

Content: Fluff, Highschool au

Summary: Just a snapchat confession story

Snapchat is fun and games, from ceiling pictures to nudes, fast repliers and some who don’t even open the snaps anymore. It’s stupid—entertaining until you talk to a boy that’s pretty goddamn cute and catch these dumb feelings that you know would fade away anyway.

It’ll fade won’t it? So might as well let yourself fall.

Huang Renjun was a boy in my class that I fancied, he was quite charming, no...erase that, he was very charming. Every single girl in class has once thought he was attractive and if any girl was asked who they would date it’d be him.

The boy had a sense of humour, was smart, attractive, sometimes snappy but it was the friendly banter that gave me the chance to talk to him. A month ago I finally decided to make a snapchat account, a day after that I asked for everybody’s accounts and his was the first one I got.

It was a calm week of me and Renjun asking about each other’s day or the cliche “wyd?”, a few weeks later he made me nickname and I dumbly didn’t want to make one from his actual name so I called him, “hunny”.

Bold, I know.

We laughed about it but I did back off and say, “sorry I just couldn’t think of something creative, everyone’s made a nickname for you already.” He agrees so I just stuck with his real name.

In school we’ve become much closer.

He speed walks to me and greets me, asks about my plans for the day or how I am, and boy! You don’t know how much I’ve walked away smiling so hard the ends of my lips could touch my ears.

I was falling quite fucking hard—but he was a charmer, girls in class liked him and he was friends with most of them. Some girls are touchy and gives him casual hugs, yes they make me jealous but he knew them before he knew me. They had a bond since years ago, we didn’t.

Then something happened—

A few more days pass by and me and my friends notice how his friend group seemed to tease him when I’m around.

It’s even come to the point where we’d hear Donghyuck screaming, “Do you like Y/n?”, during homeroom. You wouldn’t hear the response but seconds later his group would be screaming.

My friends said he liked me, I denied it.

Well, they were right. A week after that, I built up the guts to confess to him and not chicken out. Taking a photo of a ceiling and typing out the words, “I like you.”

I press the send button before I start doubting myself again.

1 min ago

2 min ago

3 min ago

“Fucking open it already,” I whisper to myself.

opened

1 min ago

just now

“He replied!” I squealed.

I press his snap full of worry; waiting for rejection but instead he sends this.

“About that...”

Fucks sake, I swear I screamed into my pillow so loud my saliva got on it. “Yes?” I replied with annoyance evident in my face, I wasn’t having any of it. I was worried and frustrated.

opened

15 sec ago

just now

He replied, ‘fuck, fuck, fuck, should I open this?’ I thought to myself, my whole hand shaking. I decided to push my phone to a corner and lay in bed to think.

If he says he doesn’t like me then it’s not the end of the world, he’s a nice guy, we won’t be awkward in school——but what if he says yes, then maybe we start talking and date——no he doesn’t like me why would he?

I roll off the bed and take my phone, still worried but reassuring myself that no matter what, I’ll be fine. I get into the app, his name beside a red box getting ready to be opened.

I press it.

“I like you too” I screamed and screamed and screamed.

He likes me too!

Renjun likes me too!

_____

[A month later] Winter break

I’m dating him! After a few solid weeks of talking and getting to know each other, I’ve learned about his likes-dislikes, family, goals, hobbies, peet peeves, little habits and kinks (but we’re not gonna talk about that here).

It was a moment at 2 am, talking about life and what not until he asked me out through a snap. I would’ve complained and said “you should ask me out irl,” but he beat me to it.

“I’ll officially ask you out when were back to school,” the rest of the night was filled with me giggling to myself in excitement.

Sometimes shooting your shot is the way to go.

It’s scary, you don’t really know what they’re gonna say.

“I’m sorry I don’t like you”

“I like you too”

“I’ll think about it”

“I’ve liked you since years ago”

But in the end you’ve got nothing to lose, in ten years time they wouldn’t talk about the girl or the boy who asked them out unless it turned serious. In ten years time, some people wouldn’t even remember you.

No one would remember how you wore your hair that day, what shirt you put on, if you were wearing this new weird coloured lipstick or if you carried around a new book everyday. In the end most things will be forgotten and it wouldn’t matter.

So fuck it and say what you feel.

Maybe—just maybe, send the snap.

[meridiansdominoes]

(same annon with the kittens) I would send a pic, but I don't have the Tumblr app. Fives even had a mustache!😍 Love your writing - keep it up!!

TINY CAT FIVES WITH A MUSTACHE??? A;LSKJDFAL;SDKFJ

.............

what have you done. I don’t have a cat. I’ve never had a cat. I don’t know how cats act. I don’t know cat body language. I don’t even like cats that much, I am the person least qualified to write a cat fic. But I did this anyway. It’s dumb and not even that great but you inspired me and it helped with my writer’s block at the very least asld;kfasdlfk;laskdf 

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25919743

_________________________________________________________

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Fives snarls.

“I don’t… I don’t think this is a joke, Fives,” Droidbait says nervously--meows, actually, because Droidbait is a loth-cat. Inexplicably. Impossibly. 

So is Fives. And so is Cutup.

The barracks are massive around them. Fives shakes his head in horror. It’s even worse when he can feel muscles that he shouldn’t have twitching and moving as he does. His ears… they can move in so many directions. Not to mention the kriffing tail.

“Alright, just… there’s gotta be an explanation behind this,” Fives says, sitting back uneasily onto his back legs. “Someone will be able to fix us--the Jedi could… do something, I think, I don’t know--”

“Whoa,” Cutup says, staring down at his paws and letting his claws extend and retract, extend and retract. “That’s… kind of cool, actually.” He flexes his claws against the fabric of his abandoned blacks below him experimentally. He looks up at Fives and suddenly chokes on a laugh. Fives rounds on him, tail lashing involuntarily.

“What’s so funny?”

“Your hair… fur, I guess… it looks like you have a mustache,” Cutup sniggers. Fives growls at him--this is so not the time. It isn’t the most threatening sound, but it works to some effect. Cutup’s eyes go wide. He nearly trips clumsily over his paws as he scrambles to put some distance between them. Droidbait curls in on himself, tucking his tail around his paws and flattening his ears against his skull.

“Guys, can we not fight?” he meows plaintively. “We’ve gotta figure out what happened--”

Fives’ tail twitches again. He spares Cutup another dangerous look, but Cutup is spared from Fives’ wrath by the sound of a frustrated yowl from the hallway. 

“Oh, kriff. Hevy and Echo!” Cutup gasps. He darts for the door. Fives goes to follow him and is impressed at the speed that his tiny body can achieve. As long as he doesn’t trip over his own feet… paws… whichever, he can really move when he needs to.

The barracks door doesn’t open immediately--the three of them have to leap up to trigger the motion sensor, which isn’t too hard either. They can get higher than Fives had thought possible. Maybe their transformation isn’t actually that bad--

Then he pokes his head into the hallway and recoils in horror. 

“Guys! Help! I can’t get him off of me!” Hevy cries, scratching fruitlessly at Hardcase’ greaves. Hevy is puffing himself up to make himself look bigger, but it’s not doing him any good. Hardcase, however, looks like he’s having the time of his life, cradling Hevy in his arms and cooing at him in the middle of the hall. Which, ugh. Fives can’t decide if he wants to vomit or if it’s just a hairball. 

“Back up!” Cutup hisses in alarm, but they’re not fast enough. Hardcase glances down. His eyes go very very wide.

“Holy. Kriff. There’s more of them. Jesse! Jesse, get the kriff over here!”

“Oh no, oh no oh no--scatter!” Fives yelps. Droidbait and Cutup obey even as Hardcase drops to one knee in order to swoop one giant hand towards them. Force, he’s massive. Fives barely manages to avoid the fingers that reach out. Behind Hardcase, Jesse rounds the corner of the hallway and gasps. 

“What the--”

“Catch them!” Hardcase shouts gleefully. Jesse stops dead, stares, and then dives straight for Fives. Fives hisses at him and makes a desperate leap for freedom, because he is not going to be coddled like that today, no, not now, not ever, it’s humiliating and he won’t--!

__________________________________________________________

“Fives.”

“Mmm.”

“Fives. You’re purring.”

“Kriff off,” Fives mumbles. The words rumble around in his chest. Vaguely he realizes that he is indeed purring, but he can’t really make himself care. Tup is warm and when his fingers scritch just right over Fives’ skull it sends the most pleasant little tingles down his spine and so what if he’s purring it doesn’t mean anything, shut up, Cutup.

Hevy had been rescued from Hardcase by Del and has been shunted around since then, passed from Coric to Dogma to Jesse. Cutup is perched happily on Tipper’s knee. Droidbait is free, but he’s winding his way around Kix’s ankles to ask for more scratches instead of escaping, the traitor. 

Though… to be fair, Fives could probably escape if he tried. It’s not like Tup is keeping him in place, but… but, uh, it’s a long drop to the floor. Yeah. Who knows if Fives would survive a fall. Not worth the risk, no, absolutely not. That explains it. Fives is stuck, no doubt about it.

Tup’s fingers run down Fives’ spine. He arches into the touch and purrs again. Tup grins down at him fondly.

“So… what should we name them?” Jesse wonders aloud. Fives groans. 

“It’s us, you idiots. I’m Fives. Hear me?” he huffs out. For a moment there’s silence, and Fives dares to hope that he’s been understood--

“Sithspit. That is the cutest sound I’ve ever heard,” Nax deadpans. Fives has to resist the urge to snap at Tup’s fingers in annoyance. Tup doesn’t deserve that, so he restrains himself, but it’s a close thing.

“We’re keeping them, right?” Hardcase says. “Come on, we have to!” 

Cutup rolls his eyes. Hevy lets out a muffled sound of protest. Fives sighs. Droidbait stifles a laugh, tail waving happily in the air as Kix’s fingers run through his fur. 

The door to the barracks suddenly slides open to admit Captain Rex. The men go to jump to attention, but they freeze when they fully register the sight of their CO. Echo is sitting proudly on the Captain’s pauldron, ears pricked up as high as they’ll go. His tail is looped loosely around his paws, and he looks smug. Beta squad’s mouths collectively drop open. 

“There’s another one?” Hardcase whispers. Echo sends him an unimpressed look as Rex holds out his hand in order to lower Echo gently to the floor. Droidbait immediately abandons Kix to rush for Echo, nosing him anxiously to make sure he’s alright. Echo bats at him half-heartedly.

“Your nose is cold, DB, holy kriff. Okay, alright, I’m fine!”

“I know, I know, I’m just making sure!” Droidbait tells him, curling himself up against Echo’s flank gratefully. Echo leans against him obligingly and turns to look back up at Rex. The Captain suddenly heaves the longest sigh Fives has ever heard from him, which… really isn’t a good sign. Beta squad tenses in concern. 

“Sir…?” Del prompts quietly. Rex clenches his jaw. 

“I’m comming the General,” he grits out. “We aren’t equipped to handle this.”

“Wh--what are you talking about, sir?” Tipper says in offense. “They’re just a couple of loth-cats, sir… I mean, they’re kittens. I think we can handle it--”

“Fives, Cutup, Hevy. Can you three come down here for a second?” Rex deadpans, sounding like he’d much rather be fighting a platoon of battle droids than dealing with magical transformations right now. Fives huffs and shuffles to his feet, reluctantly removing himself from Tup’s gentle hold. It’s a lot harder to manage a jump with four legs, but somehow his tail acts as an odd counterbalance and allows him to drop to the floor smoothly. 

Huh. Well, turns out the floor wasn’t actually that far down. Oh well. He sits down next to his batchmates in front of Captain Rex and stares back at the rest of Beta squad, tail lashing, challenging them to just try and pick him up again. Fives has claws and he’ll use them.

...unless it’s Tup. Tup is the only exception. 

“Wait. Captain, you’re not seriously telling me that--” Kix starts. Rex interrupts him with a raise of his hand. 

“Del, you asked me if I had any idea where the rest of your squad had disappeared to a few minutes ago. Here they are,” the Captain says tiredly. Fives glances at Echo as the rest of the room goes dead silent.

“Oh, thank the Force. You got him to figure it out?”

“Yeah. Typed it out on his datapad. I was near the bridge when it happened, so it wasn’t too hard to get to his office.” Echo licks his own paw. Cutup makes a strangled sound. 

“Echo. You’re… you’re. Licking yourself.”

“Huh? Oh.” Echo blinks at his paw for a moment in surprise. “I didn’t even realize…”

“That’s… Domino squad? Are you serious?” Tipper says incredulously. 

“Unfortunately.” The Captain raises an eyebrow at Domino squad inquisitively. “Kenobi, or Skywalker?”

“What kind of question is that?” Echo complains. “Kenobi. Do you really have to ask?”

Fives agrees. Not that General Skywalker couldn’t figure this out, but General Kenobi will probably fix it faster. Maybe. Hopefully. 

“Right, dumb question,” Rex agrees, even though there’s no way he could have understood what Echo had said. “I’ll be on the Communications deck to let General Kenobi know. Until then, stay here. Beta squad, watch them. Understood?”

He doesn’t wait for their affirmations, turning on his heel and leaving the barracks. Fives feels a thrill of horror. 

“Wait a second, wait wait wait,” Fives says, scrambling for the door, “Rex, don’t leave us with them, this is humiliating, they’re gonna--wait--!”

It’s too late. The Captain is gone. Fives’ ears droop. He stares up at the massive door in front of him in dejection. Oh no.  

“Force, he looks so sad. Someone grab him,” one of his horrible, terrible, awful brothers mutters. Fives gets scooped up unceremoniously by a large hand. He’s half a second from sinking his teeth into the finger closest to his mouth when suddenly that same finger scratches under Fives’ chin. Fives goes limp. Mmmmm Force, it’s nice. 

“Alright, Fives. At least, I think you’re Fives. Calm down,” Hardcase says, grinning in amusement. “We’ll keep you safe, don’t worry.” Fives glares at him. Hardcase chuckles. “Yep, you’re Fives, alright. No doubt about it.”

Fives nips at his finger anyway just to hear Hardcase hiss in pain, but then Hardcase stubbornly scratches under Fives’ chin again and Fives’ eyes slide closed. He can hear his batchmates receiving similar treatment from Beta squad, some protesting more than others. He opens one eye to check on them--Hevy is snarling curses, but Tup has him, so Hevy’s temper won’t last long. Dogma’s hands reverently stroke over Echo’s ears. Droidbait is curled up in the crook of Del’s arm. Cutup is batting lazily at Jesse’s fingers, stretched out comfortably on his back.  

“Just rest, Fives,” Hardcase orders gently. Fives sighs in resignation. There’s no escape. Fine, fine. He’ll rest. But only for a minute, as long as his batchmates are safe.

Eventually, five content purrs fill the room. Fives falls asleep. 

[crystalrose555]

Slap me, I dare you! pt. 2

“I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna kill him nice and slow.” Marley calmly claimed as she continued to aggressively tap her foot.

“Mochi, stay still, I’m still putting pins in.” Asmo pouted in response while straightening out the cloth on Marley’s body.

Despite Asmo’s pleas, Marley continued to fume upon thinking of Lucifer and his snare. One moment she was folding laundry, the next she was standing in Asmo’s room for a fitting. Asmo hummed cheerfully as he pulled fabric and tucked in more pins. After a few moments, he finally finished as the frustrated sealskin wiggled out of the finished outfit.

“Alright, that one’s finished, time for the next one, Mochi~” Asmo chimed as he set aside the pinned-up clothing for tailoring.

The fifth born turned back to the annoyed Marley who crossed her arms in anger as her foot continued to tap rapidly against the floor. Asmodeus, taken by surprise, held his hand to his mouth to keep his fawning under control.

“What?” Marley asked in a pissed fashion.

“I didn’t realize you wear bloomers. I haven’t seen those in centuries~”

“Yeah, so what?” Marley asked as she pulled down her under blouse.

Asmo didn’t answer as he pulled Marley close into a tight embrace. Nuzzling his cheek against hers tenderly, Asmo sighed happily while Marley snorted sharply, trying to free her arms from his grasp.

“What’s with you, Asmo?!” Marley growled as her eyes squinted at the demon.

“I’m just so happy, Mochi...” Asmodeus quietly cooed.

Marley looked at the clinging demon and sighed tiredly. Instead of pushing him away, she held him close and rubbed his back gently.

“Since when did you all get so attached to me?” She asked fondly.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Levi, will you stop your pacing, you’re going to wear out the marble.” Satan scolded.

Sadly, his plea fell on deaf ears as Levi continued while swiping away on his phone. He was too enthralled with the message boards and Devilgram, looking for any instance of mentions of Marley since her arrival. She may have been brought back by Lucifer but there always was someone who knew something they shouldn’t in Devildom.

“Alright, Lucifer, she’s all ready for her first day back to RAD!” Asmo chimed while leading Marley by the hand.

Marley stood in front of the brothers with her arms crossed and a tired expression on her face. Everyone stared at her clothing which barely resembled the school uniform.

“Asmo, you were supposed to make sure her uniform blended in, not stand out.” Satan claimed with a heavy sigh.

“I know but how could I not go all out~”

“Geez, how can you mess this up? Marley isn’t your dress-up doll, Asmo.” Levi grumbled lowly.

“That’s rich coming from someone who plays with dolls.” Asmo answered flatly.

Levi gasped harshly.

“How dare you, you know that they’re figurines!”

“Naw, if they were, you shouldn’t be able to take the underwear off.” Mammon blurted off snickering.

Marley sighed as the conversation seemed to swell in volume. She took a look around for a moment before addressing the brothers with a question.

“Where’s Beel?”

“Oh, he went to RAD early with-”

Before he could finish, Mammon cut Asmo’s answer with a sharp elbow in the side. They all went silent as they stared at the annoyed woman who raised an eyebrow.

“What?” She asked sharply.

The brothers just stumbled with their words, filling the foyer with random thoughts and observations until their eldest brought attention to himself.

“Enough all of you, it doesn’t matter what she’s wearing since she’s going to RAD as a seal.” Lucifer informed as he redirected the conversation.

Marley squinted her eyes in annoyance at the eldest demon brother.

“Seriously!? What the hell?!” Marley protested harshly which caused Lucifer to shake his head.

“No arguing, this isn’t up for debate. Now change.”

“Why should I!?”

“Because your Devilgram stunt has caused an uproar and unless you want to deal with the aftermath, get changed. Now.”

“Couldn’t be that bad.” Marley mumbled while looking away.

“What was that, I couldn’t hear you.”

Marley growled underneath her breath as she pulled out her pelt from her uniform. The brothers’ eyes grew wide as they stared at the black and white sealskin she draped over her shoulders.

“Marley, wasn’t your pelt grey with rings on it?” Levi pointed out.

“It was, now it’s black and white.” Marley answered flatly with a snort.

“But how? Why?”

Marley just ignored the questioning and wrapped herself in the fur.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Mochi, stop growling, we’re in the library.” Satan whispered as he turned a page in his book.

Mochi just flopped on her side and huffed heavily. Since she arrived at RAD, she had been sliding around on her belly with a multitude of demons poking and prodding her. Normally, she wouldn’t care but it didn’t help when they started asking if she was different from the seal before. Sure her pelt was a different color but she still was herself or that’s what she would tell herself. She lifted her head, looked back at her black glossy coat, and sighed as she slid from underneath the table. Satan looked up from his book to see her shuffling toward the library’s entrance. In a smooth motion, he rose from his seat and stood in front of Mochi with a curious expression.

“Marley, where are you going?” Satan whispered to her as he crouched down to her level.

She snorted in response before patting her side in a particular rhythm that echoed along the library’s walls. Seeing other students peering from the aisles of books, Satan attempted to shush the noisy seal only for her slapping to increase in tempo. With a sigh, he motioned for her to follow him to a private study room where she could change in private.

“Alright, what’s the problem, Marley?” Satan asked as he locked the door.

“I just want to go for a walk by myself, Satan. On my own two feet instead of sliding on my belly.”

“Sorry but it’s for your good unless you want to be bombarded by demons.”

Marley snorted as she folded her arms in protest.

“Please, what’s the worst that can happen? I end up dying again?”

“...So you were dying back then.”

Marley snapped back to the blonde demon who turned his gaze away from her. She bit her bottom lip and cursed herself since she forgot that she was more or less lying about her condition. A swirl of guilt formed in the lower part of her gut as looked at Satan with remorseful eyes.

“Hey, don’t think too much about it. It’s done and over with.” She claimed jokingly as if to quell his suspicion.

“It’s not done, Marley. You left so suddenly and we didn’t get a chance to talk to you about...well...”

Marley paused for a moment and released a tired sigh before patting Satan on his arm.

“Hey, baby steps, no point in worrying about something I don’t want to talk about yet. All you need to know is that I’m alright now.” She claimed cheerfully.

Satan blinked before giving her an understanding smile. He gently placed his hand over hers and let their eyes meet.

“Thank you Marley. But you still can’t go wandering off.”

“...You’re killing me, Blondie.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Luke sighed as he made his way through the hall, dodging rushing demons who carelessly lost track of the time. He wondered what was getting everyone so riled up when school started. For the past month, everyone around him has been acting weird from some Devilgram post. He searched for it but he couldn’t find any trace of it after the app crashed. After which he asked Solomon about the picture that everyone else saw but he refused to tell him regardless if Simeon was there or not. And all that Simeon told him was that Marley was alright and she was taking some time off to go back home.

“It’s not fair...” He pouted to himself.

He was the last one to know about Marley and he didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye. Shaking his head free of distracting thoughts, he hurried down the hall to meet up with Simeon for their next class. However, in his rush, he tripped over a sudden black figure which kept him hitting the hard floor. He groaned before taking a look at the seal he fell upon.

“S-Sorry!” He apologized as he pushed himself off the warm creature.

On his knees, Luke took a moment to think before addressing the seal.

“You’re Mochi, right? The same Mochi from before?” He asked hopefully.

He received his answer as Mochi picked up his fallen hat with her mouth and gave a sweet whistle at the young angel. Luke’s eyes grew wide as he found himself hugging the seal tightly in an expression of his joy.

“Mochi, it is you! You’re all better now!” He squealed as Mochi sighed and placed a flipper on the angel’s back while putting his hat back on his head.

“That’s the same seal from before. See, I told you guys!”

Luke jumped a bit as he looked up to see a trio of demons looking down at him and Mochi. He pulled himself up to his feet as Mochi sighed and snorted in response. However, the demons continued to stare at the unimpressed animal and talk as if the little angel wasn’t present.

“Look at it, it’s the same as the one that woman had on Devilgram.” One pointed out.

“Yeah, my girlfriend’s been beggin’ me for a fur-like that since Lord Diavolo posted that pic.” The second claimed as he inched closer.

“Oi, you already have a girl, so I get first dibs! I’m gonna get a lot of likes with this thing’s coat.” The third protested as he approached the unamused seal.

Luke, without thinking, stepped between Mochi and the advancing demon who towered over him.

“Buzz off, kid. You’re in the way.” The demonic student sneered.

“I’m not gonna let you take her fur! So leave her alone!” Luke yelped out while standing his ground.

“Listen, kid, it’s obvious that thing is just here as a joke since its fur is a stupid Devilgram fad.”

“If it’s so dumb, why do you want!?” Luke retorted.

“I ain’t gonna explain myself to a brat, especially an angel brat, now move!”

In a flash, the frustrated demon grabbed Luke roughly by his shirt and tossed him aside on the ground with a hard thud.

“Dude, what are you doin’? That kid’s an exchange student!”

“Shut up, he ain’t hurt, if he can’t handle getting knocked over, then he shouldn’t be messin’ with demons. So help-”

The arrogant demon didn’t finish his thought as he collapsed to the ground with a scream of agony. His friends backed away in shock as they watched Marley bite down harder on his leg which leaked crimson drops on the floor.

“Don’t just stand there! Get this fucking thing off of me!” He cried out as he kicked at her with his free leg.

However, this only made her clamp on harder, threatening to snap the bones in his calf. Cold radiated from Mochi’s mouth as she growled out cold smoke while she stared daggers at the now shaken demon. Instinctively, the demon took his shaky hand and summoned a ball of fire that hovered in his palm. The crimson color flashed in Mochi’s eyes and fiery memories struck her to her core, leading her to release him from her mouth and back away from him trembling. Seeing this, the demon chuckled as he shakily got up onto his feet, wincing as he placed weight on the injured leg.

“So the dumb animal is afraid of a little fire, huh?” He mocked as he increased the size of the blaze.

Luke stared at the panicked seal that backed away further and barked shrilly at her assailant. In a blink, he lunged and gripped the demon’s injured leg tightly causing him to scream out in pain.

“Are you trying to get burned, brat!?” The demon cried out as the blaze in his hand grew further and he threatened to stomp out the little angel.

“Don’t you think animal abuse is low, even for a demon?”

The demonic students jumped upon hearing Belphie’s calm voice as he stepped out of the shadows of the hall. They took a step backward as the weakest of the demon brothers slowly walked toward them, stepping in front of the shaken selkie. Luke took the opportunity to scamper over to Mochi as the opposing demons stared down the avatar of Sloth.

“Seriously, picking on cute little animals makes all us demons look bad. Could you try and at least show some higher standard?”

The flame-bearing demon snarled as he showed his fangs.

“Who do you think you’re talking to!? Just because you served directly underneath Lord Diavolo doesn’t make you the boss of me, Angel!”

Belphie just held his chin with a lazy smile as he ignored the insult.

“Oh right, your father’s a duke, isn’t he? That just makes it even sadder.”

The student clenched his jaw as the fireball in his hand flared and flexed in size. Luke clung tight to Mochi whose barking turned silent as she stared at the talking demons. Belphie glanced at them through the corner of his eye before returning to the furious student.

“Either way, you and your friends should probably start running now.”

“Why should we, saint?”

“Because Beel prefers a moving target when he’s mad.”

The demon blinked in confusion only to fully grasp the situation when a large firm hand gripped his shoulder, nearly crushing the bone. The sound of his friends cowering only accompanied the sound of Beel’s slurping as he bent over and devoured the fireball from the student’s hand in one gulp. Regret began to fill the demon to his core as he shakily locked eyes with the imposing sixth-born who chewed his demonic flame as if it was thick cotton candy. Belphie chuckled darkly as Beel swallowed which made the demon jump in fear.

“So how is it, Beel?” Belphie asked his twin casually.

Beel’s grip tightened as his steeled gaze never left the cowering demon’s eyes.

“Not spicy and tastes bad, just like his attitude.” He claimed coldly.

Without another word, Beelzebub suddenly snatched the demon by his collar and dragged him away while grabbing his two friends on his way down the stairs. As the sound of their pleas dulled in the distance, Belphie looked back at Luke and Mochi for a moment before turning away.

“That was tiring, I’m going to go take a nap.” He yawned as he left the twosome in the hall.

[captainsolare]

Rain and Thunder - Bakugo

A/N: No one asked for this but there was a thunderstorm outside so I wrote this. Heavily inspired by the thunder scene in Ouran High School Host Club. Enjoy Bakugo comforting someone in his own Bakugo way 

I was mostly listening to a Tchaikovsky symphony while writing this so it’s fate that Sunshine Woman by Rand played right as I was finishing this 

Word Count: 1255 

--- 

Downstairs in the common room, Bakugo and the others were having a good time, laughing and joking around as they usually did; you’d been there too but had retreated at the first sight of rain clouds covering the sky. Because clouds brought rain, and with the rain came the thunder. You’d always been this way, as a child you would run into your parents’ room and ask to sleep in there since the thunder was scary. They’d let you of course, but once you hit double digits that seemed weird so you’d stay in your room frightened and alone, praying for the storm to end. 

At a sleepover just before middle school, there was a thunderstorm and you became frightened in front of your new friends, big mistake you soon learned; you were teased mercilessly for it once the other kids found out. So, once you hit middle school you shoved the fear down, all of it, the very emotion itself. You steeled yourself to the world and it worked, at least on the outside. At UA, you had a reputation for not being afraid of anything, even Bakugo thought you were a badass at times, yet here you were, huddling in a corner of your room with a blanket, defeated by a thunderstorm of all things. 

None of the things your classmates thought about you were true, you weren’t a strong person at all; in reality you were scared, a scared little girl who felt totally alone and alienated by her fear. 

Downstairs, Bakugo looked around for you, annoyed by the lack of your presence. You were the only thing that made being around Denki and the others worth it, and suddenly you were nowhere to be found. He didn’t mention it to the others though, they were too busy being dumbasses to notice a change in his level of annoyance. As he prepared to leave, Denki piped up, “Hey! Has anyone seen Y/N? She was here but I don’t see her anymore.” Bakugo rolled his eyes, “Maybe she couldn’t handle being around you dumbasses and went to bed already. Which sounds like a great idea in my book.” He stalked off to head upstairs, leaving the others bewildered. 

Just as he was about to get into the elevator to go to his own floor he felt the sudden urge to go check on you; He wasn’t sure why he was so annoyed by you disappearing, and if it was anyone else he probably wouldn’t have cared, but it was you and he couldn’t get it out of his brain. There was a loud rapping sound on your door and you jumped, you were sure that no one had seen you slip away from the downstairs common room, so who could it be? You shakily got to your feet, “Who is it?” You asked, praying your voice didn’t crack. “Oi it’s me dumbass, open up.” Bakugo? Why would he bother to check on me? 

You opened the door to find Bakugo, hands in his pockets and a sour expression on his face. “What’s up?” You asked, cursing yourself as you sniffled after the question. “You sick or something?” He asked, grabbing your chin and turning your head side to side, then placing his hand on your forehead to check your temperature. He walked you back into the room and shut the door to give you more privacy. “You’re clammy as hell, what’s the matter with you? And why are all the lights off?” “It’s nothing.” You replied flatly, his nosiness was starting to make you annoyed, maybe more annoyed than fearful. “Well get some rest, otherwise I’m coming for your class rank.” Bakugo said, turning to walk out of the room. At that moment, thunder cracked in the sky and before you knew what was happening you were gripping the back of Bakugo’s shirt. You quickly realized what you had done, and skittered back a few feet, worried about what his reaction would be. “Are you okay?” he asked, looking you up and down. 

“Me? Oh yeah haha, I am fine. Just fine and dandy!” You said, forcing yourself to smile. “I- I just remembered I have some business I have to attend to.” You said, pulling your closet door open and slamming it shut from the inside. “What business could you possibly have in a closet?!” Bakugo exclaimed, confusion and anger mixed in his voice. As another crack of thunder split the sky realization dawned on him. “Oi, are… are you afraid of thunder?” He asked, slowly making his way to your closet. He knocked once, leaving his fist against it, “Wouldn’t it be scarier all tucked away like that?” His free hand started to make its way to the door handle; “No, it’s okay.” You replied, breaths shakily going in and out of your body, “I-I’m used to getting through this on my own.” His hand froze. 

“By yourself?” He asked quietly; he thought about all the times you’d suddenly disappear when it began to rain, or how your hands got shakier when thunderheads were forming in the sky. Oh.. .So all this time. Bakugo slowly opened the closet door and stepped back, “You can come out if you want,” He said quietly, stretching out his hand to help you up. You warily took it, and stood up on your shaky feet. Bakugo helped you over to your bed, and grabbed the blanket you’d tucked away in the corner, wrapping it around your shoulders. He sat next to you on the bed, close, but a respectful distance away.  “I don’t know if this will be helpful coming from me, I know you don’t like me very much but…  it’s okay to be afraid you know? No one expects you to be brave all the time.” Thunder cracked again and you stiffened, tears were streaming down your face but you weren’t sure if it was from his words or from the storm. You’d never known he could be this kind, though you’d had your suspicions, they’d never been proven until this moment. “And, it’s okay to ask for help. That’s why no hero works totally alone.” When you didn’t reply, Bakugo started to leave, not wanting to intrude on your space any longer if that’s what you wanted. 

“Wait,” you called before he made it to the door, “Can you stay with me? Until the storm’s over?” Bakugo turned to face you once more, his features softer than you’d ever seen them before. Bakugo returned to sit next to you and you sat in silence for a while. “Hey Bakugo?” “Hmm?” “You know I don’t hate you right? In all honesty, I thought you hated me.” Bakugo turned to you, face twisted with a smirk, “I hate everyone dumbass, I just hate you a little less.” 

From then on, Bakugo made sure you knew you weren’t alone. He did it quietly, he wasn’t one to resort to grand gestures to show he cared, but you could see it in the small ways. It was the weather app widget on the home page of his phone, the way he’d give you a questioning glance on rainy days, the way, no matter the hour, that if it was thundering outside he’d show up to your room with a blanket and a bowl of popcorn telling you to “move your dumb ass over” so you could watch a movie together. It was in his small ways, that he made your steely exterior soften, just a little. 

[stutterfly]

Love Bytes 07 | User Privileges | KNJ (M)

Last time on Love Bytes 06: Seokjin gives you an earful before you spend a peaceful evening with Namjoon. You try to convince yourself whatever is happening between you is nothing to think twice about, but you have to reconsider when morning comes. Luckily you’re able to focus your energy on the new matches on your dating app... Or so you think.

Rating: M (Explicit 18+)

Word Count: 12K

Series: Love Bytes (7/?)

Genre: F2L, fluff, humor, SLOW BURN, friendship feels, ANGST! pining, sexual tension, smut, Bestfriends!au, CollegeProjessor!Namjoon, IT/Nerd!Reader

CW: anxiety, sexual tension, angst, pining, sexual thoughts, language, sexting, grinding, panic attacks (mentioned), reader gets gaslighted, negged, and bullied like this is the 6th grade (verbal abuse by a side character/anatagonist), reader gets dubcon groped (not any of our perfect boys; them and Jennie swing into action), brief homophobic comment by an antagonist, fuckboy Jungkook showing his soft side (s/o to Swipe Right Jungkook; believe in him), alcohol use/mention, best friend Hobi, bestie Jennie, BFFLs to the rescue, protective/jealous Namjoon, soft Namjoon feels, Namjoon about to whoop some jerk’s ass, reader is a Dumb Bitch™ about her feelings and toxic relationship warning signs

Pairings: Namjoon x Reader, brot7 masterlist // previous chapter // next chapter

Do not repost.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You haven’t been able to put down your phone all day. An onslaught of “Super Likes” has you playing the foreign role of an extrovert, acting as peppy as possible to present your “best self” to your potential suitors. By the time your battery percentage is down to single digits, you’re feeling just as drained. You fumble with the charging port near the head of the couch, cheek squishing against the armrest. It’s hard to find the energy to rise. Why is trying to get laid so much work? Jennie made it sound way easier. Keeping your eyes open becomes more of a struggle than it’s worth. No amount of socializing feels as rewarding as letting yourself drift off.

You don’t mean to sleep through several group texts and phone calls, but your phone’s reverberations fall near silent against the back cushion. You might sleep through the night if not for a loud series of loud, familiar knocks on your door.

‘Knock--knock-knock--knock--knock.’

You groan into the air, “Whaaaaaat?”

“Open the dooooor.” Even muffled behind the thick wood, you recognize Hoseok’s nasally whine.

Still half-asleep, you shuffle towards the sound. The deadbolt clicks against the light pressure of your fingertips and yields the shining face of your friend. His grin practically reflects the light of the hall and amplifies its shine. It's almost sickening.

"What, were you sleeping?” He frowns narrowing his eyes at you as he scrutinizes every last detail set in your features. “Were you crying? You’re not still upset about your terrible date, are you?”

You smack his hand away as he fusses with the rat’s nest that is your hair. “No, I’m fine. I’m just exhausted from socializing on Tinder all morning.” You yawn, reaching for your phone. “What time is it anyway?”

“You sound like Yoongi,” he laughs, drawing the curtain across the room to let in some natural light. “Don’t worry. You didn’t sleep through the night. It’s almost two.”

“Oh good, it’s only been a couple hours.” You wince as the room brightens, holding back an annoyed hiss. Soft rain patters against the leaves on the tree outside of your window. Maybe the weather is finally letting up and you can see some real sunshine again sometime soon.

“I just wanted to check in. I know you’re too polite for your own good sometimes.”

You miss the concern in his face as you scan the latest batch of matches that have messaged you since your power nap. There was a guy asking if you wanted to meet for lunch, but you missed the window. He seemed pretty nice so you want to apologize as fast as possible so you don’t seem like a total bitch.

When you don’t even acknowledge Hoseok’s words, his face hardens. “...But not all the time, apparently.”

You look up from the keyboard on your phone, halfway through constructing an apology. Sensing his annoyance at your manners, you turn off the screen and offer a guilty smile.

“I’m sorry, Hobi. Jennie and Tae sent me the photos this morning and--”

His countenance changes in an instant, dropping his pout and grinning like a maniac as he sprints across the room. “What? Really? Let me see!”

He hip checks you into the couch and you both fall to the cushions with a graceless flop. You know you could convince him to drop it if you really wanted to, but a part of you is really enjoying the positive reactions from your matches and the attention is doing wonders for your self-esteem. What’s one more person inflating your ego?

“Oh, just one sec. I want to apologize for ghosting this dude.”

“You ghosted someone?” Hoseok shakes his head in disbelief, throwing his arm around you. “I’m so proud! Did he deserve it? Was it the guy at the coffee shop?”

You snort, fingers tapping your keyboard thoughtfully. “No. There’s this guy I was talking to earlier. He asked me to lunch right after I fell asleep.”

He furrows his brow at you. “I’m not really sure that’s ghosting if you planned on responding.”

Your fingers stop tapping the keyboard and you look up at him. “Oh. Well. I definitely ghosted the coffee guy. Just unmatched and deleted his number.”

“Attagirl.” He grins, playfully nudging his knuckles into your jaw. “So what’s this guy’s name?”

“Mmm. Don’t want to tell you, in case it doesn’t go anywhere,” you mumble, backing out of the conversation.

Hoseok glances down at your screen and raises his eyebrows when he notes all of the conversations you have going simultaneously. “Wow! Someone’s popular.”

“I didn’t expect such a big change once I got the photos. I hate to admit it, but you guys were actually right for once.”

His eyes widen. “Hmm? Say that one more time? Hold on!” He pulls out his phone like he’s going to record the statement and then laughs. “I’m glad you finally see my wisdom. Now gimme.”

He flexes his fingers a few times to make grabby hands at your phone. You navigate to your profile and allow him to peruse at his leisure, nervously micro-analysing his blatant facial expressions. You’re mostly getting a shocked and excited vibe, laced with a hint of pride as he keep repeating “wow” at each new image. Just as he’s moving on to the bikini photo, your cleavage is obscured by a new message.

“Jihoon? Is that your lunch guy?”

“What? He responded? I’ve been cussed out for ignoring a dude for five minutes. They’re usually not so understanding in my experience.”

“Yikes, is that what it’s like for girls?” Hoseok shivers. “On behalf of all men, let me apologize to you.”

“You’re absolved of your guilt for waking me up,” you joke, prodding his side with your finger and giggling when he wiggles away from your touch. “What did he say?”

“He says he still wants to grab a bite with you, if you’re up for it. Ooh he called it a wake up snack with a winky face!” he teases, already bringing up the keyboard to respond for you. “What should we say back? Let’s see… I’m not hungry, but I’ve got a snack for you if you wanna come get it…. Winky-- Hey!”

You snatch the phone back from him, smacking him lightly in the chest. “I’ll figure out something a little less eager, thanks.”

He shrugs. “Suit yourself. I think you should go though.” He’s already removed the scrunchie from your hair and is brushing it with his fingers to retie it. “Nothing like a rebound to get your mind off of things.

“I’m not having sex with him,” you mumble, sending off your response to Jihoon.

“Oh, by the way, we’re meeting up at Seesaw later. You can use that as your out.”

“You gonna buy me drinks this week too?” you ask sweetly, puckering your lips at him.

He scoffs. “Pfft. At Yoongi’s bar? Yoongi’s buying. Now, go put on some clothes that don’t look like you wore them to bed with someone else.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

A points system is something Hobi helped you come up with. You meet up for a snack at a bar and have one drink with him, telling him ahead of time you have dinner plans with friends so he gets the idea right away that your time is valuable. He starts with 100 and you can deduct based on gross mannerisms or behavior.

That way he starts in the positive and only falls to the negative if things go poorly. If he loses enough points, you can end the date by saying you have to get ready because you’re someone’s ride--which is technically true since Namjoon refuses to get his license and you've naturally taken to being his chauffeur.

Now that you're treating dating like a game, it seems like a piece of cake. You can just throw if you've been matched with a shitty teammate. This time you're expecting it. No way are you going to get trapped for 2 hours talking to some dude who doesn't give two fucks about who you are. You’ll probably be back home in no time, eating some of that ice cream still in your freezer and pretending to be interested in some other guy's messages. That's what dating is, right? It's fine. It's a good plan.

You can tell Hoseok and Jin that you made an attempt, are too tired to go out, get drunk alone in your apartment, have a good cry over some self indulgent romantic drama, and pass out with your vibrator cupped in one hand. It definitely sounds like the night of a well adjusted adult with healthy coping mechanisms for rejection, loneliness, and anxiety. It's in your nature to turtle when you feel so shitty about yourself, and your friends know it. You're just hoping they'll accept your excuse of fatigue as a simple fact rather than a disguise for your unhappiness.

There's just one little hiccup you've run into with this foolproof plan. The guy who agreed to meet you for a single drink isn't the one you'd been talking to all morning. He's funnier, twice as handsome, and at least three times more suave than his online persona. Deducting points from someone so charming is proving to be difficult, even after downing a second rum and coke in your haste to work off the genuine butterflies fluttering in your belly.

You can’t get your hopes up. You tell yourself this and yet your brain is ignoring that mantra in favor of bashing you over the head with feelings of excitement, especially when he drops his hand beside yours on the bar. He gently brushes his pinky against the back of yours as he laughs. Suddenly you don’t want this date to end. The smallest touch sets your nerves alight and you’re craving more.

Do you dare to pull out your phone to check the time? Is it rude? You don’t want him thinking you’re not having a good time, but you promised Hoseok that you’d keep it short. It’s a risk you have to take. Pulling the mobile device from your pocket, you try to casually bump the power button to check the time. You bite your lip, realizing you’ve already gone ten minutes past the time you’d decided to end it.

“You sure you can’t stay for another? I’m buying.” The man beside you smiles and playfully bumps his shoulder against yours as his fingers finally curl around yours on the bar. Your gaze is fixed on the motion of his thumb caressing yours.

The breath catches in your throat and you stutter out a flustered laugh. Shy eyes peek up from beneath fallen strands of hair, trying to decide if this is actually happening or if someone is playing a cruel joke on you. His lips part into an amused grin as he tucks the strand behind your ear. His fingers are warm as they lightly trail along the side of your face and instinctively you close your eyes and lean into his touch.

“Mmm,” you hum, losing yourself in the simple sensation of fingertips brushing against your cheek. The comfort the motion brings reminds you of someone else, someone you’ve been feeling incredibly confused about as of late. Panic settles in your belly as you almost say his name. “Na--” you catch yourself and clear your throat.

Trying not to draw attention to your mind’s slip-up, your eyes pop open and settle on the bar as you slink away, nearly falling from the stool as you collect your purse.“N-Nah. I, um, have plans. But, um...”

He curiously cocks his head at you. “Are you okay to drive, lightweight? I can call you a Lyft.”

A nervous laugh passes your lips as you twirl your fingers around the metal ring that houses your keys. “I’ll be okay. Thank you! I’m just! Really clumsy. Sorry. Th-this was nice though. Can we--Can we do this again?”

Shit. Way to sound desperate.

Much to your surprise, Jihoon offers a dimpled smile with a raise of his phone. “Hit me up again, beautiful. Any time. I'll tell them to go easy on the rum next time."

You hesitate on moving in to kiss his cheek and instead decide to nod and spin on your heels, nearly missing the waitress balancing a platter full of food beside you. Adrenaline rushes through you on the walk back to your car, a soft rain dampening your clothes and speckling the screen of your phone as you check your messages.

Hobi: how’s it going?

Hobi: you’ve gone over time Dirty Girl

Hobi: 😂

Hobi: tell me ur alive?

As you settle into the driver’s seat, you fingers are already working to craft a response that might reveal everything that you’re feeling, but nothing you try to say seems to do any justice to it.

You: I survived. SS? :)

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Hoseok leans back in his chair, taking in everything you’ve told him with a big grin as he picks at the nachos on the table. “So he didn’t try to kiss you?”

You wrack your brain, which is starting to fill with the haze of alcohol. "No. He held my hand for like half a sec though.”

He snorts, crunching down on a chip. “Risqué. Who would have thought you could be so naughty?”

You roll your eyes, debating on whether or not you should admit why you were able to end the things when you did. You scan the plate of nachos and your jaw tightens, shifting from left to right as you try to reason that you hadn't been thinking of someone else while on your date.

"I mean he might have tried to kiss me if I didn't end things so abruptly," you contemplate aloud with a dramatic sigh. “He was so nice. What if he never wants to see me again? What if I blew it?”

Hoseok is scrolling through your messages with Jihoon, scrunching his nose. “Hmm. Or maybe,” he pauses to flip the screen towards you, “you’re just being silly. What, did you get drunk off one beer again?"

Jihoon: Make it home safe, lightweight?

Your lips curl into a smile reading the message, quickly texting a response.

You: I'm fine lol i told you I wasn't drunk. Sorry if I worried you at all!

Jihoon: oh good guess I can spend the rest of my night thinking about you for other reasons now 😏

Breathing gets a little harder as your heart swells to your brain and turns it to mush.

"Damn this guy's smooth," Hoseok murmurs as you set the phone down on the table, feeling completely dumbstruck.

"What do I say?" you ask, suddenly unable to form a coherent thought. Panic bubbles deep in your belly. There’s no doubt in your mind whatever you say will make this guy never speak to you again and you actually maybe kind of enjoyed his company.

Hoseok drums his fingertips on the table, a devilish grin spreading across his features as he begins to walk them towards your phone. “I can type out something for you.”

He bursts out laughing as you quickly snatch the device, sending off a simple blushing smiley.

“Bo-ring,” he sings into the rim of his glass, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. Just as he’s putting his drink down, you’re bringing yours to your lips. “So does this mean you’re not sleeping with Namjoon anymore?”

A cough sputters from your mouth. Your drink comes dribbling out from between your lips like a boozy waterfall and ice cubes plop back into the nearly empty glass. “Namjoon told you?!”

‘Wha?” He raises his eyebrows, mouth hanging open. “For real?!”

Oh no. Oh. Nononononono.

“Not! Like that!”

He saw Namjoon coming out of your apartment this morning, but he failed to mention any recent developments. What’s he at, two weeks now? He can’t have confessed, but it’s clear that something has happened. Did he make a move? Did you?

A smug grin splits his face in two, as he plants an elbow on the table and rests his chin on his palm. For some reason the only thing playing in your brain as he stares at you like this is a quote from Spongebob Squarepants: ‘You like Krabby Patties, don’t you Squidward?’

“Stop looking at me like that!”

He continues to stare at you with his accusatory grin and you feel yourself cracking under the pressure.

“Hoseok!”

Silently waiting, he does a slow blink and lets out a lofty sigh full of longing.

“I--! We--! Slept. Literally slept. Not. Dirty,” you panic, trying to fix the mess you’ve made. Here you are telling Hoseok after making Namjoon promise to forget, to not say anything himself. You’re a filthy hypocrite. You only maybe planned on telling Jennie. Maybe. Because chances are she’d be looking at you the same way Hoseok is right now and you’re not sure you can handle the mortifying experience twice.

You drop your forehead to the table hard enough to rattle the plates and cups on the table. Hoseok cringes and reaches out to place a comforting hand on your back but then thinks better of it and awkwardly pats your head instead.

Your voice is muffled as you wrap your arms around your face. “We didn’t have sex. We were just sleeping in the same bed. Please don’t make it into something it’s not.”

He polishes off his drink and looks down at you. Something it’s not? It’s definitely something that should be. You idiots are so close to being everything you both want to be for each other, and yet for some reason you refuse to accept it as the truth. If you’re sleeping in the same bed, regardless of whether you're feeling each other up or if it really is just innocent cuddling, you’re already in too deep to call yourself ‘just friends.’

You narrow your eyes at him when he rolls his. It seems like admission is still a topic to be avoided.

“Fine,” he huffs, feigning indifference. “I was just hoping for some drama.”

Namjoon better get his shit together soon. You might actually see this smooth-talking person again. If he’s as charming as he seems, he’ll have you falling for him in no time. Hoseok contemplates whether or not the guy is just fishing for casual sex with an easy target, but he doesn’t know enough about Jihoon to say for sure. But you? As big as you talk, you’re soft. Squishy, inside and out. Either way Namjoon will be crushed; there’s no way around that. But the last thing Hoseok wants is to see is not just one, but two of his friends heartbroken.

“Don’t say anything. Please,” you beg, reaching for the hand resting on the back of your scalp and fixing your gaze on the table. The sound of desperation seems to confirm there’s more at play than friends snuggling up in the same bed. He wordlessly curls his fingers around yours, giving them a squeeze, which causes you to look up.

“I won’t say a word. Who do you think I am: Jimin?”

It feels like he’s opening the curtains in your apartment to let the sunshine in all over again when he smiles and you can’t help but let the silent giggles break your nerves down.

Familiar hands press down on your shoulders, giving them a gentle rub. “Damn. Drunk already, Geeksquad?”

You can’t help but straighten your spine and slink back into the motion, despite the fresh briar of worry prickling your insides. Are things weird? You feel like things are weird. You try to make sense of the confusion blossoming with your nerves, but fuck, it feels so good when he does that. “No…mmm.”

You melt into the man at your back and are met with a familiar dimpled smile. The anxiety in your stomach disperses as quickly as it came on. Hoseok watches in silence with pursed lips that threaten to curl into a smile. You guys are morons. The way you’re looking at each other is almost sickening; it’s like you’re the only two people in the room. Something has definitely evolved in your relationship, but it’s not enough. Not yet. He’s never wanted to smush two people’s heads together so badly.

Hoseok clears his throat and stands, pinching your arm as he passes by you. “I’m gonna get another drink.”

You smooth your palm over the tender flesh, wrenching yourself away from the hypnotic pull of the man behind you as you down your backwashed drink. He lets his hand linger on your shoulder as he slides into the chair beside you. Suddenly all you can think about is how good those hands felt holding you steady as he rutted his hips against your ass. You swallow, casting your gaze at the table while trying to push the memory from your brain. The harder you try, the more you remember. Moaning and grinding your ass back into him. The growl in his throat. The frantic panting in your ear.

He leans in, a familiar concern evident in his hushed tone. “Everything okay?”

No.

“Yeah.”

You wilt under his skeptical eyes, shifting your attention to the glass you’re now sliding back and forth between your hands.

“You sure?” he asks, letting his thumb trail down your arm

You try to remember to breathe, not wanting to draw attention to the flustered heat in your chest. It’s easy to attribute the inappropriate thoughts to your conversation with Hobi. He brought it up and he doesn’t even know. Not really. And now it’s all you can think about.

“No.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, brow furrowing.

Yes.

When you don’t answer, he rests his elbow on the table and uses his palm to support his head. “Office hours are closed but Namjoon’s therapy hours are open.”

I want you to come home with me again so we can dry hump like we’re teenagers. You wish you had a shock collar for your thoughts. Stop. This is Namjoon.

You shake your head and force a guilty smile as you meet his gaze. Regret courses through your stomach, causing it to do somersaults. You can tell he spent way longer styling his hair than he would have you believe, but you’d be lying if you said he didn’t do a great job. It’s surprising he would let it get so long in such humid weather, but the ashy brown color compliments his dark eyes well and you hate to admit he looks rather attractive with it falling over his forehead like this. It just looks so…

Pullable.

You want to twist your fingers in it and draw him in. Your tongue pokes the inside of your cheek and you scold yourself, squashing the thoughts before they can take over. Think about something else.

Easier thought than done. Your brain has moved onto another target, focusing on the muscular forearm supporting his head. Has he really been working out? In his current position, the shadowy contours sculpted into his flesh seem more prominent than usual. It’s like you’re seeing them for the first time. The loose tanktop hanging around his torso probably has something to do with it. Your eyes linger far too long on a brown nipple poking out from behind the thin fabric.

He raises his eyebrows, watching your eyes wander everywhere but his face. You’ve been silent too long, but every thought in your mind threatens to spill out. You clear your throat, forcing your eyes to rest on his face. Anything is better than the hesitation heavily seated on your tongue.

“I had a date today.” Of course the first thing that comes out is just a complicated addition to the stockpile of conflict in your gut.

He does his best to remain stoic, despite the tendrils of hurt creeping up his chest. It's easier to mask the pain as surprise. "Oh? For real?"

"He seemed okay." You nod. "I didn't even spill anything on myself this time."

"Wow," he chuckles, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "Look at you, all grown up."

“Yeah. I put my bra on by myself and everything,” you joke, oblivious to Hoseok’s approach.

His hands reach around your sides, planting two drinks on the table. One looks suspiciously like something you would drink and the other is most definitely beer.

“Wow, what did I miss?” Hoseok asks, hugging you from behind. Any excuse to tease you is a good one, especially knowing there’s something going on between you and Namjoon. His fingers walk up your arms and tussle your hair.

Namjoon watches your expression morph into embarrassment and graciously brings the beer to his lips. You’re so cute when you’re flustered. Warm butterflies attempt to extinguish the inky tendrils of despair using his heart as a vice grip. Again he had his chance to confess this morning, and again he didn’t. And now you’re here running through the details of your date with someone else. It would be selfish to tell you now, wouldn’t it? It’s just something he’ll have to deal with.

Hoseok watches his friend’s eyes drop to the table as you prattle on about your date. While you’ve known Namjoon for a little longer than a year, Hoseok’s been friends with him for much longer. Maybe that’s why you can’t see it: the hopeful light being sucked from Namjoon’s eyes even as he hangs on your every word. Because he’s so in love with you, he’ll listen to anything you have to say, even if it’s about your attraction to someone else.

Hobi pinches your sides, shifting the focus of the conversation to his grabby little crab fingers and how much you hate them. He mocks you, dodging your playful smacks to his ribs. If the opportunity arises to spare Namjoon from another second of heartbreak, he’ll take it. He knows Namjoon never will, no matter how much it hurts.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The work week passes quickly. Things almost feel normal again. It probably helps that you made a point not to get sloppy drunk, you didn’t kiss Jimin, and you didn’t invite Namjoon back to your place for another dry-humping session disguised as platonic cuddling. But there’s this nagging feeling in the back of your head, constantly reminding you that you liked it. Try as you might to deny it, nothing sounds more appealing than the safety and warmth of his arms.

Instead you’re rolling against the cold sheets of your bed, trying to will yourself to get up. Again you’ve been dreaming about him. Again you tell yourself it’s just sexual frustration latching onto a familiar face. And again you stare at the ceiling, entirely unconvinced that there isn’t something more to it. You wish you invited him over again this weekend. You missed how good it felt to have him at your back, sliding his fingers along your arms until you fell asleep.

You talk to him every day and yet you’re still itching for more, looking for any excuse to talk to him, hoping he’ll break something that you’ll have to come fix since he hasn’t all week. It’s strange. So roll onto your side, face smushed into the pillow as you send him a text.

You: i heard u say u were gonna buy me coffee today. That’s so nice bae 😍

You wait a few minutes before the dots appear on screen.

Joonie: You are literally the worst. My alarm was just about to go off. 

You: 🙂

You: u gonna tho

Joonie: Buy your own damn coffee

You: WOW RUDE 😭i just wanted a little succ

You: of the

You: caffiENE

Joonie: Why are you like this?

You: because ur my favorite person

Joonie: ….

He sends a meme from Spongebob where a fish is extending its neck with a judgemental stare.

Joonie: You don’t have to butter me up to get free coffee. Just text me your order

You: ashkfls;adsfkshfk ok ok gimme a sex

You: SEC

Joonie: 🙄

Talk about Freudian slip. You pause, considering what kind of coffee mood you’re in today. Bitter espresso or sugary sweet?

You: Vanilla iced coffee with one sugar pump please

Joonie: aight stop by my office. I’ve been having trouble connecting to the printer but no one has come to check it out

You: did u set up a ticket?

Joonie: Of course. I guess no one is as competent as you 

You: kiss ass

Joonie: 😘

You roll your eyes, close out the conversation, and purse your lips before setting the phone down. Your latest dream resurfaces in your brain, straddling Namjoon’s torso as he leans you back over his desk and peppers your chest with kisses. Again you tell yourself it’s not about Namjoon, but the thirst associated with the drought of your sex life. Running your fingers down your torso, you start trying to work off some of the residual tension from your dreams.

Conflicted doesn’t even begin to describe your feelings. Confused doesn’t cover it either. You’d already met up with Jihoon again for a serious competition of indoor minigolf followed by a casual fast food dinner. Even then you found yourself thinking of one lanky professor, his dimpled smile replacing Jihoon’s every time he laughed. It’s why you didn’t take him up on the offer to return to his place. That and the fear of potentially being murdered.

You don’t want to have sex with someone when you don’t feel safe, but you consider ways to combat that that feeling for the next one. Maybe bringing him to your place is safer. After all, Yoongi and Hoseok are just down the hall. They’d be sure to check in on you if they knew you had company. People have sex with strangers all the time. It’s not that complicated. Why are you making it into such a big deal?

You can’t help but feel a little guilty. Things have been progressing with him pretty fast, but you have plenty of other offers to meet up with guys that you just haven’t jumped on. It’s kind of overwhelming now. Maybe you should call this dating thing off until your figure out what the hell is going on with your brain.

Or maybe you should just focus on masturbating instead of the confusing guys lighting up the switchboard of your brain. As you reach for your phone and start typing in the familiar web address of your favorite porn site, a photo message from Jihoon appears. You wonder what kind of meme he’s stolen from twitter this time. Carefully, you pause your search in favor of opening his message. It’s definitely not the meme you were looking for.

What you do see is a whole lot of skin along with a carefully placed kissy emoji over his crotch and a “good morning” text accompanying the image. You swallow hard, allowing yourself to be a creep for half a second. You spread your fingers across the screen to zoom in, taking in the sight of the rippled shadows lining his stomach.

You: 😵 

You: im dead sorry we cant see each other anymore

Jihoon: 😂 sorry was that too much?????

You want to say no, but your belly does somersaults at the prospect of sending your own crafted picture as a response. It takes some finagling but you finally manage a shot with your arm wrapped around your chest at the perfect angle. No rolls showing, just a set of perfectly pouty lips, slanted jaw, and a great shot of cleavage. You know it’s taken you far too long to respond and you’re only slightly panicked as you scramble to send the photo over.

You see texts fly in from Namjoon and Jihoon and you swipe to close out the conversation with Namjoon. You quickly attach your photo and hit send, hoping Jihoon will feel rewarded for his patience. But your stomach sinks like a stone has been dropped into it. Your image doesn’t appear in the string of messages with him.

Jihoon: Left you speechless, huh?

You: JUST A BIT I NEED TO GO

You don’t give him a chance to respond or sass you for potentially getting off to that pic. You know how your statement reads, but you can’t be bothered to care with the other thought on your mind. Quickly navigating to your conversation with Namjoon, you wince, seeing the previous message he sent with the image you intended for another recipient.

Joonie: Whipped cream?

And there’s the risqué image.

If you ignore it, will he pretend he never got it? Or should you apologize right now and purge the view of the image by sending a billion texts? You decide on the latter, trying to perform damage control. He laughs it off and sends off a joke about just wanting a yes or no along with a few sickly emojis. You still feel terrible. How many times can you fuck up with him in one month? You’re surprised he still agrees to be your friend.

Hanging your head, you forgo touching yourself in favor of a cold shower.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

By the time your get to his office he’s just setting two cups on his desk and shrugging off his long trenchcoat. His back is to you as you attempt to quietly slink in, but he turns to hang the damp piece of clothing on the rack to your left. You freeze like a deer in headlights, but his eyes soften.

“Mornin’ Geeksquad.”

“Good morning,” you sheepishly mumble, shrugging off your own damp hoodie.

The shirt you’ve chosen today is a flowy button-up blouse, which is a step up from the t-shirts you normally wear. Paired with the form-fitting slacks and makeup you took painstaking attempts to apply this morning, you feel confident that you’re at least somewhat stylish, even if you’re not on Namjoon’s level.

“You…” He tries to remember what words are as his eyes roam over your form. Noticing the top two buttons of your blouse are undone, he clears his throat and tries to push the photo from this morning from his mind, but it keeps coming back. “You look really nice today.”

You smile, folding your arms over your chest as he noticeably stiffens, fumbling with his words.

“I mean, you look nice every day. But, ah…. This-This outfit looks good on you. Really good.”

He rubs the back of his neck and you relish in the appreciation he offers, even if he’s a mess about it. Your cheeks are on fire and you giggle, finding your heart jumping at the way he stammers his way through the conversation.

Why are you acting so shy? You love it when he loses composure. You swallow, allowing yourself to embrace the heat in your belly. Isn't this exactly why you started dressing up more at work?

Pushing the demon on your shoulder back into the floating expanse of your stomach, you press your lips together in a thin line, trying to hide the grin threatening to show off the teeth you've recently started whitening.

“And you’re waiting… For the uh…. The computer. Printer. Thing. Of course. Hold up. Let me log in.”

He crosses the room and sits in his chair, eager to focus on something other than your gorgeous face and distracting body since it's clear you're feeling yourself today. You plop down in the cushioned chair on the other side of his desk and rest your neck on the back of the chair to stare at the ceiling. He focuses on the screen, slowly typing his password and trying his best not to look past his monitor at you. He begins twirling a pencil between his fingers to keep himself from fidgeting.

While he had tried to make you feel better about the accidental photo, it was just another thing piled on to your interactions lately that have been making it harder and harder to keep his feelings to himself. Was it really an accident? Maybe you’re just testing the waters. After everything that’s happened, he’s not sure what to think. Everything feels too coincidental to be anything other than pure attraction flying between the two of you. But if that were true, you’d have asked him to spend the night again.

He was hoping for it, hoping for another chance to make his move. This time he’d be sure to lock the door and switch your phone volume to silent. This time he’d buy you a dozen misfit roses with a billion thorns. This time he had it planned out: flowers, dinner, movie, and confess with a kiss.

After hearing about your first date with this Jihoon guy, he decided he was going to suck up his insecurities and finally go for it. It was bad enough when he thought you’d end up with Jimin, but the thought of losing you to a stranger is far worse than he could have imagined. But the weekend passed without invitation and his courage waned as soon as it was clear he would have to initiate.

Thinking about it and actually doing it are two different things. What if he messed things up? Time already appeared to be running out when Hoseok had given him a deadline to confess by, but with your new dating developments, time seemed to be slipping through his fingers even faster than before. His hesitation helps nothing.

His stomach lurches as he considers the ramifications of the image you sent this morning. If you didn’t mean to send it to him, then it must have been meant for Jihoon. Are you really already exchanging nudes with this other guy? Has he seen all of you? Has he already lain with you? Filled the space in your bed? In you? Maybe Jihoon is the only one he knows about. What if you’re talking to even more people and that photo was for someone you haven’t even mentioned yet?

The pencil in his hand splinters into pieces with a loud crack and your head snaps up to look in the direction the sound came from.

“What was that?”

“Uh… Just me being the God of Destruction.” He rises motions for you to take his place in the chair as he pockets the fragments of the broken pencil.

You shake your head, grabbing your drink as you circle the desk and get comfortable in his chair. “You’re hopeless.”

Navigating the network doesn’t take very long. It just looks like a missing password to connect to the printer’s address. Huh. You don’t remember updating anything. Maybe your coworkers reset it. Regardless, it’s an easy fix. You take a sip through your straw and slam the cup down on the desk.

Suddenly your dream is on vivid display in your head and you freeze as you stare at the smooth, dark surface of the polished woodgrain. The sound of his balls slapping your ass echoes in your ears. You can see the scenario, clear as day. He grips your hips and fucks himself into your tight cunt, tits bouncing in his face as he sucks a hardened nipple into his mouth, praising you for your tightness, how you squeeze him, how you take him so well like the dirty slut you ar--

His hands come down on your shoulders. “Hey. You okay?”

Blood rushes in your ears and you shake the daydream off. You really need to stop watching naughty teacher porn but it’s always on the first page. You tell yourself it has nothing to do with Namjoon and everything to do with laziness. The problem with that is you’re usually very particular about the videos that you watch. Can you fully attribute it to laziness when this is the type of thing you found yourself skipping over just a few months ago? Don’t dwell on it, you tell yourself, continuing typing where you left off.

“Sorry, just… spaced out,” you mumble, leaning back in the chair as you finish up. “There. Should be all set.”

He allows his gaze to drop down past the two open buttons and straight to your breasts, perfectly nestled against the silky black material of your bra. His eyelids flutter and he licks his lips, hoping you don’t notice what a creep he’s being right now. How much spank bank material can he collect in one day?

“Do you want to test it?” you ask, quickly rummaging through the millions of icons on his desktop for any word document.

His breath hitches as you hover over one labeled ‘Draft_Trivia_L,’ double clicking it without a second thought. His hand catches your wrist and he spins you to face him as the document opens.

“You can’t just open things. That’s private!” he flares, heat building in his face. His gut fills with immediate regret.

You blink a few times and look down at your lap, feeling rather foolish. You’ve never seen him snap like that; it must really important. Regardless of your friendship, you know better as a professional. Your gut tumbles in endless circles. Just knowing you’ve upset him on top of everything else you’ve fucked up with your friendship has your mind heavy with guilt.

“I’m really sorry. I should have asked first,” you murmur, feeling like you’re about to cry. You’re not a child. You can handle being scolded when you’ve done wrong, even though it sucks. But this is different. He’s never gotten even remotely angry at you before. And you’ve never wanted crawl into to the server room and volunteer the remainder of your week sorting cables, but there’s a first time for everything.

The hands at your wrists fall to his sides and his expression softens. Before he can offer the apology on the tip of his tongue, you rise and head straight for the door.

“Test it out and let helpdesk know if it’s working.”

Just as you grab the handle and pull open the door, his hand pushes the heavy panel back in place with a click. You turn around, your back resting against the door, but he keeps his arm steady, hovering over you in a way that makes your heart race, despite the turmoil churning in your tummy.

“Wait. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap,” he says in a gentle tone. “It’s just… that particular document is… very personal. It’s--”

“You don’t have to tell me,” you say in a quiet voice. “I fucked up. I’m supposed to let you drive after I fix stuff. I’m not supposed to touch anything other than what’s broken.”

“You know I don’t have a license,” he jokes, earning a soft laugh from you. He sighs. “Remember how I told you about that one student? Well it turns out they really resonated with our poetry studies. They told me it reminds them of something they like to do for fun.” He hesitates, rubbing the back of his neck.

“They like to freestyle rap. Do tons of underground competitions, that kind of thing. So I’ve been working with them on bridging the gap between literature, poetry, and rap. And that document you opened… I’m trying my hand at it to lead by example. I want to share it with you, but it’s... not done and it’s a mess I’m still working through. But I promise I will let you see it when it’s done.”

“I’m sure it’s amazing. You’re a genius,” you admit with a shrug of your shoulders. “You have a way with words unlike anyone I’ve ever met. Don’t feel like you have to show me anything, Namjoon. You’re not obligated to.”

He scoffs, relaxing his posture to pinch the bridge of his nose as the compliment starts to sink in. Did you just acknowledge his sexy brain? He can’t help but grin like an idiot as he shakes his head. “I have to show you. It’s actually… I kind of wrote it about… I mean, for you.”

Your eyes widen, curiosity bubbling in your chest. “M-Me?”

What the hell could he possibly have to say about you that could turn into a literary piece to lead by example?

“Yes. You.” He takes a sip of the beverage in his hand before thrusting it in your direction. “You know what? I don’t actually hate that.”

“I know. You have a sweet tooth,” you giggle, swiping your finger across the whipped cream covering the tip of his nose.

You take your finger into your mouth and lick it clean. He watches you with hungry, longing eyes, replacing your finger with something else in his mind. He quickly covers the look with a sigh, gathers your coat from the rack nearby and throws it over your head, shielding himself from your teasing actions. You scramble to regain your field of vision and grin at him as he sits down at his desk again.

You turn to finally leave again, this time in much better spirits. “I’ll talk to you later, Joonie.”

“Geeksquad,” he calls, causing you to pause. “We’re good, right?”

You rest your face on the doorframe as you peer back at him with a shy, slightly smooshed grin. “Of course. As long as you don’t hate me for the million ways I mess up.”

He chuckles, warm dimpled smile gracing his features. “Never.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Thursday night. Finally. You sit on your couch legs propped up over Jennie’s lap, finding some time to catch up with your bestie. She passes the bowl of popcorn over to you, engrossed in the comedy-drama you’ve been binging for the last couple hours. When you shake your head and push the bowl back in her direction, she looks over at you.

“What’s wrong.” It’s a demand, not a question.

“Why would you think anything’s wrong?” you ask defensively, already feeling like you’re about to cry.

“Because I know you, you dumb bitch,” she responds with the love of someone who has definitely seen you at your worst. “Also your leg has been bouncing for the last ten minutes and if you had to pee you would just get up.”

Immediately you halt the motion you hadn’t realized you’d been making. “Jihoon wants to meet up again this week.”

“Wow. Does that make date three? Bow-chicka-wow-wow,” she jokes, causing your feet to rise as she bumps her hips up and down.

You swipe at the air and roll your eyes. “Please, like he wants to.”

She scoffs, stuffing her mouth full of popcorn. “Didn’t you say he tried to get you back to his place after the last one? Dude def wants to bang it out.”

You twiddle your fingers nervously. “Do you think I should?”

“What, fuck him?” she asks, blinking at you as though she’s carefully analyzing your body language through the fluttering of her eyelids.

You slowly nod, puffing your cheeks out and letting air slowly escape the little ‘o’ you’ve made with your mouth. “I already told him I would get drinks with him and I’m nervous about taking things further after.”

“Y/N, honey, why are you asking me? I’m not gonna do it for you. Do you want to fuck him?”

“I don’t know…” You rub your forehead nervously, looking back at the television. “But I think it might take my mind off of some things.”

“Like...?” she prods, realizing there’s something else you’re on the verge of needing to get out, but you need a teensy push to get there.

You purse your lips and stare up at the ceiling, trying to figure out a way to make it sound less crazy than the bottled up way it’s consuming your thoughts.

“When I’m with him... I can’t stop thinking about Namjoon,” you say quietly, feeling lightheaded just from having said it out loud. You said the words. You admitted it’s a thing. Now what? Jennie will know what to do.

“Ew,” she says out of instinct, knowing anytime she’s broached the subject of you getting together with Namjoon you’ve made gagging sounds. But when she sees the horror on your face, she pauses. “Oh, are we not at ew anymore? Are you finally cool with me saying he’s fine as hell? You feeling a little change, babe?”

“I don’t know what I feel. But it’s not ew. Not even close. I keep having these…” you pause and look at the unlocked door, wondering if there are any ears listening on the other side. Your voice drops to a whisper and you lean in. “I keep having these dreams where he’s… you know?”

“Oh, okay,” she says with a nod, not quite understanding what you’re getting at, but trying to be a good friend by agreeing anyway. She plants her elbow on the back of the couch and rests her cheek on her palm. “But like… how do you mean?”

Your eyes look everywhere but at her face. “You know…”

“Oh?” Her eyebrows furrow and it’s not until you make a crude circle with your hand and poke a finger through it a few times that her eyes light up with understanding. Her voice takes on a surprised tone. “Oh!” She pushes your legs off her lap, pauses the show, and scooches closer. “Okay. Wow. This is really happening. Finally. Details. Spill it.”

With a groan, you recount every last thing you can remember about the time you’ve spent with Namjoon in the last few weeks, everything from toilet hair to the most recent photo mishap. When you’ve finished, Jennie sighs loudly.

“I take off for like a week and this is what happens. I love you, but you are a serious fucking mess.” You’ve just been fanning the flames of the torch he’s been carrying for you. No wonder it’s all coming to a head like this. She’s surprised Namjoon hasn’t caved and finally confessed already. Isn’t he ready to blow at this point? She stifles a giggle at the double entendre.

“I know.” You stare at the ceiling, hands folded over your lap. “So what do I do?”

“Okay. Let me get this straight. You’ve slept in the same bed, cuddled, flashed him, almost made out with him, humped him, sent him a nude, you’re having sex dreams about him aaaaand you’re thinking about him while you’re on dates with other people… And you’re asking me what to do? You know what to do. Just bang it out already,” she says, clapping her hands together on the last few syllables to emphasize her point.

“Obviously there’s something there. So why don’t you just test the chemistry? You guys might be surprisingly compatible.”

You shake you head and run your fingers through your hair. “I can’t risk his friendship. I’ve fucked up so much already. Like what if we do it and he’s like… cool let’s not ever again. And then he tells me our friendship is over.”

“He won’t,” she groans, tossing one of the throw pillows at you. “Stop being dumb.”

“But…” Your mind races as you consider every last thing that could go wrong, hugging the pillow to your chest. “Jennie, I’m too scared to lose him. I can’t.”

Her brow knits in concentration. Your fears are understandable, but she knows you can be happy with him if you just open up to the possibility, especially since you’ve become such good friends in such a relatively short amount of time. But she also knows pushing you too hard too fast will make you clam up. You may not be willing to address what you feel, but at least there’s admission of some kind of feeling. That’s progress.

“So where do we go from here, Y/N? What are you doing?”

You wish you had an answer. “I… I’m calling Firewall on this. Right now. Namjoon keeps me in line with everyone else. You keep me in line with him.”

Jennie swallows, her heart breaking for you both as she nods. “Okay. If that’s what you want,” she agrees softly.

“It is,” you say, voice already full of uncertainty.

You have a date tomorrow night with Jihoon and you’ve decided you are going to stop thinking about Namjoon for the entirety of it. For the sake of your friendship and your sanity. You have to keep things simple and divided. So why does it feel like that’s way too easy of an answer?

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Jihoon is way better at dancing than you are, which doesn’t come as a surprise, honestly. What you do find shocking is the blatant boner you feel poking against your ass as he guides you across his hips and the filthy things he whispers into the slope of your neck. Clearly he uses dancing as an excuse to cop a feel, but the butterflies in your stomach and the heat in your cheeks tell you you’re okay with that. You shyly reach up to cradle your fingers around the back of his head, breath staggered as you slowly lean back to press your lips to his. His jaw is stiff, but his lips are big and soft and it’s easy enough to substitute the person you’re craving without a second thought. Fireworks explode in your brain, blocking off all possible hangups about the action.

As he brings his hands up to your chest, giving your tits a rough squeeze, you come crashing back down. Fuck. You had one job tonight. Firewall, remember? Your eyes shoot open and you’re left with a suffocating swarm of bodies around you and hands that feel constricting. It’s too much. You need air. You need air and space around you to figure this out.

You grab his hands and move them back to an innocent place on your hips. “I’m gonna get another drink,” you say, desperate to escape this place you suddenly feel trapped in.

He allows you to slip through his sweaty fingers and disappear into the crowd.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Namjoon says, unable to take his eyes off the way you’re moving with the man at your back. Is this his fate: destined to watch you grind your body on someone else?

Jennie, Jungkook, and Tae exchange worried looks. Hoseok just scoffs as he peers through the glass railing across the sea of writhing bodies.

“I know. What kind of dancing is that? It’s like she can’t remember anything I taught her. Crescent moon shapes. CRESCENT.” He grunts in frustration and drags his hand down his chin. “I’m gonna have an aneurysm.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes, leaning back in his chair and placing his arms out around the back of Jennie and Jungkook’s chairs. “Of course that’s what you would see.”

She grumbles as Tae manspreads, knocking her knee with his. She settles for the way his fingers trail feather light touches at her back.

“Namjoon, you didn’t have to come,” she says sympathetically. “I just wanted to keep an eye on her just in case… I’m sorry. I know you guys think I’m crazy. But like… I’ve been with crazy. And if that experience has taught me anything, it’s to trust my gut.” She pats her stomach a few times and takes a small sip of her drink. “And my gut says don’t trust a hoe you don’t know, especially with your bestie.”

“That’s exactly why I had to come,” he sighs.

Touche, she thinks.

Suddenly you’re moving in a slow, sweet way that Jennie recognizes as your telltale shy kiss. As much as she likes the feeling of Tae’s fingers dancing with the ends of her hair, she stands and takes Namjoon’s hands, pulling him from his seat. She can hear Tae’s grumbly protests as she moves away, but it doesn’t matter. She’d really like to spare Namjoon the heartbreak of watching the person he loves kiss someone else.

“Joonie. Get up. Switch places with me. Come on.”

Her act of heroism comes too late. He falls back into his chair with his jaw hanging open, unable to stomach the sight. So he forces his eyes to focus on the ambient lights dangling from the ceiling. It's stupid. You're not even his, so why did that feel like getting punched in the gut? He closes his eyes and swallows the growing lump in his throat. Get it together.

Jungkook grimaces at Hobi, mouthing the words ‘what do we do?’ Hoseok looks from Jungkook to Namjoon, and then down to the floor where you’re prying Jihoon’s hands away from your chest and shying away. Squinting to get a better view of your form, he realizes you’re not just slinking away, you’re running away.

Hoseok rises, dragging his dejected friend to his feet. "Hey, let's get you something stronger than a ginger ale. Up! Up! Time to get our bodies moving. Things will be okay!"

Hoseok jerks his head in the direction he saw you running off to, making eye contact with Jennie. "Y/N is obviously okay! So let's not have wasted this time sulking when we could be getting endorphins going."

Jennie cocks her head to the side as she stands and peers over the rail, trying to discern whatever information Hoseok wanted to relay. Then she sees it: the distant form sneaking into the bathroom.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Namjoon groans as he leans his elbows on the bar. “You know what, I’m starting to think this wasn’t such a good idea. She’s obviously safe and happy. Can you please drop me off at home?”

Hoseok is looking past Namjoon, squinting into the crowd as though looking for something in particular. “You know this is your last weekend to confess before I tell her for you, right?”

“Hey. Don’t complicate her life. She’s got someone now. I appreciate the push, but it’s done. There’s nothing else to--”

“Hey isn’t that the guy?” Hoseok interrupts, hastily thrusting a pointed finger just in front of his friend’s nose.

Namjoon’s gaze follows Hoseok’s fingertip to Jihoon on the other side of the bar, putting his hands around some other girl’s waist and burying his face into her neck as they grind on one another.

“What the fuck?” Namjoon breathes.

His feet are moving without provocation and before he knows it, he’s angrily wrenching the couple apart. “Are you fucking serious right now?”

“Dude what the fuck? Do I know you?” Jihoon blinks, giving him a shove.

Namjoon’s shoulder dips back, but his stance is firm. He drags his lip through his teeth, a manic grin threatening to spread through if he doesn’t keep his jaw tight. “Try that shit again. I dare you. I will lay you out.”

The girl he was dancing with grimaces and quickly backs away, sensing the danger in this situation. Jungkook is waiting. He catches her wrist and spins her gracefully into his arms.

“Careful, gorgeous. Don’t want you mixed up in whatever that is, hmm?” he says, brushing the hair from her face with featherlight touches that contrast the solid mass of his body pressed against her side. “Don’t you want to dance with me instead?”

She looks like she’s about to slap him for a fraction of a second, but melts into a puddle as soon as she meets those big brown eyes. She weakly allows him to lure her away from the squabbling men.

“Maybe…”

“Hah. Well then. Maybe I’ll let you,” he teases, poking his tongue into the side of his cheek and disappearing into the crowd with her hot on his heels.

Jihoon’s jaw grows taut with annoyance as he watches his target slip away. He scoffs. “What the fuck is your problem with me? I don’t know you. Get lost.” He clicks his tongue and mutters, “fucking punk.”

“You’re here with Y/N and you’re out here feeling up other girls. That’s my problem with you.”

“Pfft. That’s what this is about? What are you, her boyfriend? Or do you just have white knight syndrome? Look, I don’t care what you guys are. Everybody has a side piece. Why are you being so judgemental?”

Namjoon’s concentrated brow briefly transforms into confusion, causing his response to die on the tip of his tongue. Jihoon catches the panic before he can turn his face to stone.

“Oh, that’s not it is it? I see how it is now. You’re stuck in the friend zone.” Jihoon lets out a smug laugh. “Are you stalking her? You must have seen our kiss. Tell me. How badly do you wish you were me?”

Namjoon feels like his teeth are going to break if he keeps grinding them together like this, but it’s all he can do to keep himself from unloading on this guy.

“Heh. Judging from your silence, pretty fucking badly. How long have you waited? Months? Years? Be honest. It drives you crazy knowing that I’m going to have her tonight, doesn’t it?”

“You don’t deserve her,” he spits back, unable to hold the jealous venom from his tone. “I’m not even worried. She’ll figure you out.”

Jihoon shakes his head, taking a few steps closer to him. “You’re wrong though. I know her type. She’s desperate for somebody to love her. Anybody will do. It doesn’t matter who.”

His words are like a sucker punch to the gut. What if he’s right? Regardless, he powers through his insecurities, knowing a guy as shitty as Jihoon is trying to go for the low blows to throw him off his game. “Man, do you ever get tired of spewing shit?”

“Dude, why do you even want her?” Jihoon shakes his head with a laugh. “Yeah, she's kind of cute but there are plenty of hotter chicks out there.” He clicks his tongue. “I thought I saw an easy opportunity to get laid but I didn't think someone as desperate as her would take this long to get in the sack. It’s kind of more trouble than it's worth for what's bound to be a mediocre lay. I can just tell.”

Namjoon clenches his jaw tighter, knowing that he’s just egging him on at this point.

“But I’ll fuck her anyway. Because I can.”

Namjoon lunges toward him but Taehyung and Hoseok are already grabbing his arms and steadying him like vines entangling a tree. Jihoon silently laughs like this is the most amusing game in the world.

“He’s not worth it. Don’t do something you’ll regret,” Tae says, glaring in Jihoon’s direction, who rolls his eyes in response.

“Time to cool off,” Hoseok whispers, working on backing him up. “Come on. She’s smart. Believe in her.”

Namjoon glares at the enemy he’s made today, wishing he got at least one punch in. “You best keep your mouth shut, or I’ll make sure it stays shut.”

“That’s fine. I’ll make sure Y/N’s stays wide open though, don’t worry.”

Namjoon seethes with rage as he pushes his friends forward, trying to return to the man pushing his buttons. “You really wanna throw hands, or you wanna keep making backhanded comments like a bitch? Let’s fucking go.”

“Joon, come on,” Tae and Hobi take turns trying to diffuse the anger in his eyes

Jihoon rolls his eyes again. “Listen to your boyfriends, bro.”

“Yeah, keep rolling your eyes. I see you looking for your fucking brain,” Namjoon quips with a snort. With a frustrated sigh he finally allows Tae and Hobi to goad him back to a distance where he’s not in danger of putting his fist in someone’s face.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You come back from the bathroom, panic attack only a hazy memory thanks to one of your best friends showing up to talk you through it. Of course Jennie followed you here to make sure you’d be okay. Honestly, you couldn’t be more grateful right now. She gave you the pep talk you needed.

When you finally spot Jihoon, he’s standing alone at the bar, casually leaning against it but looking pissed as fuck. Before you can ask if everything is okay, he’s pulling you into a deep kiss, forcing his wet, slimy tongue down your throat. He’s sure to make a show of it knowing that Namjoon is watching from somewhere nearby.

You wedge your hands between your bodies and break free of the kiss, feeling like that was super out of character for him with how you left things. You were hoping he’d be more thoughtful and considerate of your earlier reaction, but it only adds more proof onto the obvious statement that he is not Namjoon. You try to give him a pass because you know being horny definitely makes you stupid and needy.

“What’s gotten into you?” You giggle nervously, trying to ignore the anxiety nagging at the back of your mind. The butterflies have become a swarm of angry bees circling your belly.

He leans in to whisper against your ear, “I just want you so badly right now. I’m sorry. You wanna get out of here?”

You shift uncomfortably, unsure if you're ready for that, or if you even want that with him. A sense of obligation floods your brain, even though you know you don’t owe him a thing. How fucked up is it that you feel guilty for not putting out on the third date? You don’t actually know this guy that well, so how can you bring yourself to fuck him? Stop being a prude. It’s just sex.

Fighting the sinking feeling in your gut, you grab his hand and shyly smile at him, trying to reason with yourself that at least if you go back to your place, Hobi and Yoongi will check up on you. He takes the action as wordless approval, giving you another wet, sloppy kiss that makes the stone in your stomach feel even heavier.

He discards your fingers and moves to tugging on your wrists in a way that makes them ache. The ice pick of dread starts chipping away at the corners of your mind. He hasn’t given you a reason so far to think he’ll freak if you back out now, but the way he starts leading you towards the exit ties a knot in your throat. Soon you’re practically being dragged across the room. As heavy as the stone in your stomach is, it does nothing to slow him down.

“Jihoon. Hey, slow down! Wait a sec!”

It’s too late. Your shoulder hits the doorframe and you wince as hot pain radiates from the point of impact. Oh, that’s definitely going to bruise.

“Dude!” You wrench yourself away from his grip, nursing the growing welt on your shoulder.

He raises his eyebrows and turns back to face you, concern burdening his features. A light rain begins to blanket the two of you. “Oh, you should be more careful, Y/N. Are you okay?”

Despite the fact that he practically slammed you into the door on the way out of the building, you start to feel guilty for causing him to worry as he begins fussing over you. His fingers ghost over the hand you have clamped down over the ache.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to,” you mumble, attempting to shake off the anxiety in your gut. “But I need you to slow down. You don’t even know where I live.”

“So show me,” he prods, trailing his fingers to your chin. “I’m just so excited to be with you.”

You can hear Hobi’s voice in your head, backing the unsettling feeling traveling throughout your body. Stop making excuses. Ghost him!

You pull your head back, trying to gather the willpower to be brave and back out. “Okay… But-- I-I…” You allow a nervous chuckle to pass your lips. “Look, I-I don’t think tonight is gonna work. I’m sorry. I’m just feeling kind of sick.”

The smile on his face falls. Before he can respond, Jennie’s voice cuts through the sound of rain pattering nearby cars. “Hey!”

He looks over at the sound, furrowing his brow when he sees Namjoon walking out behind your friend.

Showing up to watch, Friend Zone?

Jihoon loudly sighs. “You know what, I’m feeling kind of sick too. Sick of you saying one thing and really wanting another.”

You blink, jaw dropping open. “Excuse me?”

“You’re a fucking tease. Always giving those bedroom eyes, telling me how much you want me, how bad you want to fuck me,” he declares, raising his volume as he watches Namjoon stop dead in his tracks.

Your face grows hot, despite the mist gathered on your cheeks. “H-Hold on. I-I never---”

“But you got this shy act going so I played along. For a bit. You want to play games again. Trying to tell me you want to wait, but I know you don’t. You were the one putting my hands all over your body earlier, practically begging me to fuck you out in the open the way you were pressing that ass into me.”

You can’t believe the words coming out of his mouth right now. Is this really happening right now? It’s a nightmare. You’ll wake up any second now. Everything he’s saying is a fucking lie. So why do you feel so ashamed, so guilty?

“You know what, Jihoon?” you pipe up, the distress in your voice apparent as the shrill words escape. “You’re being a real douche right now.”

“Yeah, well you’re being a real prude for someone who is maybe a six at best,” he snorts. “And god you’re fucking boring. You should be thanking me for even considering sleeping with you.”

The words shock your system and you stand for a few seconds just processing all of the hurtful things he just said. Suddenly the heat in your cheeks radiates throughout your chest. You feel like a fucking moron. Rage. Regret. Shame. Self-loathing. Everything hits you like a truck at once, culminating into a bubbling pressure in your throat. You want to scream, but nothing comes out except for the boiling tears streaking down your cheeks. Your hand flies up, landing across his face with a satisfying smack.

Realizing what you’ve done, your eyes go wide and then clamp shut in recoil as he raises his hand to retaliate. But the blow never lands. When you open your eyes Namjoon has his hand clamped around Jihoon’s wrist, glaring daggers at the man.

“You do not fucking touch her,” he growls. “You better get the fuck out of here before I beat your ass for even thinking about it.”

Your brain has already shut down by the time Jennie grabs your waist to pull you back into a bear hug from behind. Jihoon ticks his jaw and clenches his fists, tearing himself from Namjoon’s grip. When Tae, Hobi, and Jungkook appear by his side, it seems like he reconsiders the punch he was about to throw and backs away.

“You can have her. She’s not worth it.”

Your friends stand in front of you, an unmoving daisy chain of rage as the tears fall from your face along with the apologies on your lips. Namjoon is the last to turn around, but he’s the only person you can focus on as your body convulses with the emotional distress coursing through it. You’re soon enveloped in a group hug, pressed with a deadly tightness against Namjoon’s chest. It doesn’t make you feel any less broken, but it does make you feel grateful to have such a supportive and caring family. What would you have done if they weren’t here tonight? You shudder to think about it.

Namjoon’s fingers press against the back of your head as you spew snotted, muffled sorry’s into his shirt. He’s still holding you long after everyone else has let go, offering comforting words, making sure you know you have nothing to apologize for. In this moment, the world falls away, the pain falls away, and the only thing that matters is the overflowing love you can feel emanating from the man before you.

[notanacousticsetcal]

girl crush (lrh) - chapter three

summary - luke is 19 and 5sos is at the top of their game. daisy harlow is a solo artist becoming more popular by the day. daisy and luke “date” for publicity but some real feelings start to spark during their forced time together. the only problem? luke has a girlfriend.  

warnings - none! (for this chapter) basically just lots of nerves.

word count - 1.9k

a/n - I changed the perspective to 3rd person because it felt more fitting. I hope it doesn’t bother anyone and if it does please let me know! Thank you for reading :)

DAISY’S POV

“Rise and shine, sleepy head! Big day today.” 

Daisy groans and shoves the pillow over her head, pushing Virginia away from the bed. “When I gave you a key, I wasn’t thinking you’d be barging in here at the ass crack of dawn trying to ruin my beauty sleep.” 

Virginia laughs and pulls the pillow away from Daisy’s face. “Sweetie, it's not the ass crack of dawn. It's 11am and you’re gonna be late. Get up, we gotta go.” 

Daisy’s eyes shoot wide open. “11AM? Jesus Christ, why didn’t my alarm go off?” She stumbles out of bed and slips on some shoes, trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes. They were supposed to meet Dianne at 11 to start hair and makeup.

“I knew this would happen. I called to make sure you were on your way and you didn’t answer so I came to save the day.” Virginia gives Daisy a smug look and flips her hair dramatically over her shoulder. 

Daisy reaches out and pulls her into a bone crushing hug, “You’re the best, don’t know where I’d be without you.” Daisy quickly grabs a pair of jeans and almost eats shit trying to hop into them on her way to the door. 

“Lets go!” She calls to Virginia, grabbing her house keys and pulling on some slippers.

“Alright, alright I’m coming skippy-van-hops-a-lot, Jesus.” Virginia follows quickly behind Daisy, giving a quick goodbye pet to Artemis. 

As the friends stumble out of Daisy’s apartment, she opens her phone to a few missed calls from Dianne’s assistant, Genevieve. She quickly clicks Genevieve’s icon and calls her back, pressing her phone between her ear and shoulder as she rummages through her bag for her car keys, bracing herself to be sternly reprimanded.

“Daisy, where the hell are you? You were supposed to be here like now!” cries a very stressed Genevieve. She mutters to someone else on the other end “I have her on the phone.”

Daisy tosses the keys to Virginia, mouthing “you drive” and runs her now free hand through her hair anxiously. “I’m so sorry Genevieve, on my way now. I overslept. I’ll be there ASAP.”

She sighs and whispers angrily, “Alright, hurry your ass up, I’m covering for you.”

Daisy lets out a breath of relief. “Thank you, I owe you. See you soon.”

Daisy hangs up and gets in the car, replying to all the other missed messages she had received while she was getting her beauty sleep including some from Mariah about how Daisy’s going to meet the aussie man of her dreams tonight. Daisy groans and curls up in the passenger seat of the car, laying her forehead against the cool glass of the window, semi hoping she drops dead before she has to talk to the stupid handsome lead singer tonight.

Virginia pulls out Daisy’s car, nearly hitting an elderly couple, and the girls quickly head to hair and makeup. 

After a quick 15 minute drive, Virginia and Daisy practically sprint into Dianne’s office. Genevieve races up to the girls as soon as they pass the threshold, her normally tame red locks, frizzy and shooting in every direction, and grabs Virginia and Daisy by the wrists. She tugs them impatiently towards makeup and just short of throws them into their seats. Without another word, she storms away, looking more stressed by the second. 

Virginia and Daisy share a look of mutual concern for the small redhead who’s always so calm and collected before they’re interrupted by Dianne’s employees, who without a single word begin work on their faces.

After two hours of careful work and perfected brush strokes, both Virginia, who is coming as a plus one, and Daisy have a full face of makeup and move on to hair. The girls give each other a once over, taking in the completed glam. 

Virginia has always been the beautiful best friend. She has shorter, light brown hair and piercing blue eyes and the most perfect bone structure, but Daisy couldn’t even be envious because she’s the most supportive, selfless person Daisy had ever met and it doesn’t feel right to wish away any of her beauty -- she deserves every ounce of it. 

Her eyeshadow looks simple with a heavy cat eye and her lips are painted a bold red. It looks stunning on her and will match perfectly with the satin red dress she had picked out for the event. 

“Gia, you look hot,” Daisy’s mouth goes slack at the flawless makeup. 

“Says you! I’ve never seen you wear this much makeup during the whole time we’ve known each other!” Daisy turns to look in the mirror. Her eyeshadow is heavier and smoky which makes her green eyes stand out that much more while her lips are painted a nude, glossy shade. It doesn’t feel like she’s looking at herself in the mirror. She gapes in awe at the makeup artists handiwork. 

“Holy shit, this looks great.”

Virginia and Daisy wait around, getting their hair done, eating lunch (they only had salads, gag), playing games, waiting until it's time to get in their dresses and head to the event. The hustle and bustle of artists doing other girls’ makeup (including Ariana fucking Grande who both Daisy and Virginia were too starstruck to approach) and people in charge running back and forth swirls around them, but they pay no mind.

After a while, it was finally time to get dressed, so Virginia and Daisy agreed to part ways.

Virginia’s dress: 

Daisy’s dress:

Daisy watches as Virginia steps out in her dress looking absolutely stunning, per usual.

Daisy’s dress is simple, but this is her first big event and she doesn’t want to overdo it. Any negative attention would upset her too much.

Daisy has to admit. She does feel pretty hot. 

After exchanging a multitude of compliments, Virginia and Daisy are on their way to the VMAs. Daisy’s hands are a shaking mess and the more she thinks about the idea that in a few minutes she’ll be meeting that stupid dumb blonde boy she’s supposed to be dating, the more she feels like she can’t breathe. 

Virginia notices the nerves and grabs Daisy’s hand, throwing the poor girl a reassuring smile. Daisy returns the favor and gives her a small, probably pretty unconvincing smile back. 

The car halts in front of the entrance and the door is opening. Bright lights blind Daisy as she’s guided out of the vehicle, Virginia close behind. 

Daisy smiles despite the chaos and waves to the photographers outside of the building, but inside she feels disoriented. It's like she’s on autopilot. She allows herself to be directed into the building and is quick to find Virginia again once she's inside.

“Jesus, I can’t see.” Virginia blinks and her eyes move around unfocused. 

“Gia, I’m right here.” Daisy waves her hands in front of Virginia’s face, laughing. 

“Goddamn, it felt like I was staring into the fucking sun.” She blinks and focuses her eyes on Daisy, giving her a look of annoyance at the ordeal.

“I know, I’m definitely not used to that stuff yet.” Daisy looks around anxiously, trying to spot Mariah so she can tell her what the hell she’s supposed to be doing. She’s never done anything like this before.

“Ah, you’re here! You both look stunning, the boys are already here. Virginia, dear, there are 3 other attractive men in that band and they all happen to be single,” Mariah suggests, slyly, throwing Virginia a quick wink.

Virginia blushes a deep red, “I’m not famous, they won’t spare me a second glance.” She brushes off Mariah with a wave of her hand. 

Mariah scoffs, “Oh, please, doll, you look just ravishing, they won’t be able to resist. Besides, sometimes I think they prefer a girl away from the fame, you know? Knock ‘em dead, ladies.” Mariah gives Virginia’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze and pulls the girls towards their seats in the audience which are labeled with their names. 

VIRGINIA RHODES

DAISY HARLOW

LUKE HEMMINGS

CALUM HOOD

ASHTON IRWIN

MICHAEL CLIFFORD

Daisy internally groans. When Mariah said she would be sitting with Luke, she meant right next to him. 

Daisy sits down, feeling a wave of intense panic set in. Why is she so fucking nervous? He’s just a boy.

LUKES POV

Luke scrolls aimlessly through twitter, liking his favorite tweets from fans and checking up on some of his friends. The boys laugh and mess around beside him while they make their way to the VMAs. 

Luke checks his hair in his phone camera for what must’ve been the millionth time and runs his sweaty palms over his knees anxiously, glancing out the tinted window. 

“Luke, Luke.” Calum pokes Luke’s shoulder repeatedly to get his attention.

“What is it?” Luke turns around to face Calum sitting behind him and sighs in slight irritation. Luke was on edge and didn’t feel like listening to whatever childish joke Calum probably wanted him to hear.

“Listen to the fart sound Michael can make, it sounds so fucking real.” Calum points at Michael and on cue, he makes a stupid fart noise with his mouth, sending Calum and Ashton into a fit of  giggles. Luke sighs and turns back around, unlocking his phone and opening the Twitter app again, done with his bandmates’ antics. 

“Come on, Luke, don’t be like that.” Ashton squeezes Luke’s shoulder from beside him.

Michael pulls himself towards the two boys, resting his head against Asthon’s headrest. “Aww, is little Lukey nervous about meeting his fake girlfriend?”

Luke scoffs, “Shut up, Michael.” 

“I think you struck a nerve, mate.” Calum slaps Michael’s back approvingly earning a chuckle from the boy. 

“I’m not nervous, piss off.” Luke rests his head against the window like a sulking toddler and the boys erupt in a chorus of laughter.

“What would Bella think about all this? Have you told her?” Ashton questions.

Luke sighs again at the mention of his girlfriend -- his real girlfriend -- Bella who was currently back at their shared apartment.

“No, I haven’t fucking told her.” Luke mutters, picking at his fingernails and looking awfully guilty. The boys hated Bella and from the beginning, Bella has always hated the boys, making it very difficult for Luke to keep balance between his relationship and his best mates. “Can we stop talking about this? We’re here.”

The boys climb out of the car, one by one, once the car slows to a stop. They’re led to their assigned seats and Luke feels his heartbeat pick up, so much so he feels lightheaded. 

Nobody has ever had this effect on him before. Especially not someone he’s never talked to. He’s thoroughly confused to say the least. 

There’s just something about her, something mesmerizing -- something unique. Maybe it's the way her eyes twinkled when she sang, like momentarily she was taken somewhere else, or the way her hair falls around her shoulders like a waterfall, or the way she was so passionate. 

The boys turn a corner and immediately, Luke’s eyes fall on her. He wishes he could run, hide, go anywhere but here, but his legs keep carrying him closer and closer to her. 

The boys shuffle into the seats and Luke begins to feel like his knees are going to buckle at any moment. 

He knows he shouldn’t be feeling this way. But how can something that feels so right be bad?

He sits down next to her, shifting uncomfortably and once those emerald green eyes trail up to his blue ones…

Game over. Luke is royally screwed. 

[whitherliliesbloom]

the instagram boyfriends club

[ ffxivwrite2020 ] ★ [ masterlist ] ★ [ prompt #16 - lucubration ]

[ various wol/npc ships ] ★ [ 2,576 words ] [ highschool / modern au ]

haurchefant greystone, estinien wyrmblood and alphinaud leveilleur. mentions laurelis by @ancientechos​, peppermint by @mintdrop​. illya is also mentioned and appears briefly at the end. may be a little ooc but do i care?? a lot of the jokes were stolen from this youtube video, which was also the main inspiration for this fic. 

instagram pics are #seriousbusiness

Saturday mornings were typically an uneventful affair, and thankfully so. His duties as the student council president often meant hectic school days filled with a mountain high of paperwork on top of his already impressive laundry list of assignments. Alphinaud was thankful for any little moment of peace he can get - weekends in particular were sacred, reserved only for either relaxation or outings with his family, friends or girlfriend.

And yet...

[[One unread message from Estinien]]

Estinien: meet me at haurchefant’s house in 1 hour. You: Wait. In an hour??? What for?? Estinien: just be there You: ???? You: This is so sudden. Is something wrong?? You: Estinien???

Of course he’d be left on read, as was common when texting Estinien.. sometimes at the most egregious of times. This in particular would be one of the absolute worst examples of Estinien’s utter lack of prudence. No matter how many times Alphinaud would dial his friend’s number, the unanswered ringing would only cause his nerves to spike.

Within the campus grounds he was a well respected figure who possessed more authority than any of the other students of his cohort.. and yet outside of it, he’d always be reduced to being something of a pushover, one who couldn’t help but to allow himself to be pulled by the whims of his friends. 

He could only pray that whatever it was Estinien’s decided to drag him into this time, it wouldn’t take too much of his precious saturday rest.

-------------------

“You want Haurchefant to teach us how to take instagram photos??” Alphinaud’s voice raises in pitch, nothing short of bewildered by Estinien’s request to their mutual friend as he stepped inside of the house. “I never took you to be the type who cared about that-”

“It’s not for me.” With a low grunt, Estinien mutters between grit teeth before settling himself onto the couch with a burdened thud. “It’s for Totomi.”

In an instant, it all made sense, and Alphinaud has to withhold himself from letting out an audible chuckle. It’s no surprise that an outgoing girl from the drama club who has a penchant for the extravagant and flare would like to post photos online for her following to see. Though Alphinaud himself wasn’t exactly an expert on the matter - his own instagram profile was only ever updated semi-regularly with ordinary photos of classmates and student council activities, he was at least aware that there were others who practically lived their entire lives on that app.

“Ah! You wish to learn how to take better pictures for your beloved! How wonderful!”

Haurchefant’s jovial tone elicits a grimace from Estinien, whose grip on his phone only tightens.

“I’m just sick of her asking me to constantly retake shots. I’d rather not have to stand in the middle of the street for ten minutes just to take a single picture of her in front of a brick wall.”

“And you thought to ask Haurchefant...why?” Alphinaud asks with an inquisitive tilt of his head.

“You seriously don’t know??”

“Know what?”

“Haurchefant is called the god of instagram boyfriends.. or some dumb shit like that.” 

“Uh... what?” He’s heard of instagram. He’s heard of instagram models... but what in twelves name was an instagram boyfriend?

Haurchefant’s shoulders pull back in pride upon hearing that indirect praise, however, evidently more than a little pleased that his reputation and ‘fame’.. if it could be considered that, was beginning to spread by word of mouth.

“I’m so truly flattered that you would think so highly of me!” With a raise of both his arms, Haurchefant grins. Estinien rolls his eyes and mutters ‘i wasn’t praising you’ beneath his breath. “Indeed! I will admit to be at least well experienced in the art of taking instagram pictures for my beloved!”

��Laurelis? Pardon me for asking.. I’m not surprised that she has an instagram account.. but what makes you so special?”

Right on cue, Haurchefant raises up the screen of his phone, proudly displaying the profile of the ever familiar pink-haired miqo’te. Admittedly, Alphinaud didn’t know very much about Laurelis. What little he did know was only informed to him by her best friend, who just so happened to be the very same young lady he was dating. And from the few times they’ve spoken, he could see the miqo’te as being quite an instagram addict too - as most extroverted types typically are.

Upon seeing the numbers listed on the profile, however, Alphinaud’s eyes very nearly pop out of his sockets.

“Over five thousand followers?!” That’s more than the entire student body and staff members of Eorzea academy combined. The twelve knows it will take an eternity for Alphinaud himself to see that amount of followers on his account. 

“My dear is something of a minor celebrity! And I take great pride in knowing that I was able to play a small part in helping her take the pristine, ‘aesthetically pleasing’ shots as they say that she is known for today!”

“Good for you.” If estinien’s eyes could roll any harder they’d roll to the back of his skull. 

“Ah, but what of you, Alphinaud? Are you here to learn how to take better photos for Illya?”

The shorter elezen widens his eyes in surprise, not having expected to have a question directed straight at him, but he is quick to shake his head in response. As far as he was aware, Illya wasn’t exactly more instagram savvy than he himself was. She did have an account, one he naturally followed, but it would only ever be updated once every several days - and rarely with actual photographs of herself. Food, plant life and animals made up the majority of her profile’s portfolio, not that Alphinaud ever failed to double tap on any of her pictures, no matter how menial they seemed. 

Though, he supposes she could be considered slightly internet famous as well - just not at all in the same way her best friend was. He hears that her gardening blog has just reached a 2 thousand subscriber milestone, recently.. which he imagines to be quite a feat especially considering it was by all accounts quite literally a website filled with nothing but gardening tips, tutorials and floral arrangement pictures.

“Not exactly. Estinien forced-” he nearly continues to speak, but the low grunt emitted from the couch causes Alphinaud to swallow his words “-encouraged me to come along for the lesson. He said it’d be....livelier with the three of us.”

“Well, there certainly is no harm in more company! Regardless of your reasons for being here, I’m sure the things you’ll learn today will help you and Illya in the future!” 

Haurchefant moves over to the couch, tapping on Estinien’s shoulder who could only let out a groan in annoyance.

“Now then.. shall we get on with the lesson?”

-----------------------------

“Now, let’s do some practice shots! Say that I have asked you to take an OOTD picture!” 

“The hell’s OOTD.”

“Ah, outfit of the day, my friend! Now let’s have you take a picture of me and I shall give you my candid feedback! Starting with you, Alphinaud!”

The shortest of the trio thinks to protest for a moment, but quickly presses his lips together and reluctantly holds his phone up to snap a photo of his taller peer, who has already taken station by the window and posed for the camera.

“Ah a perfectly serviceable photo, my friend! But it has one critical, devastating flaw.”

“I-It’s that serious?? What is it?”

Haurchefant points to the bottom of the picture where his legs were cut off and shakes his head.

“You must never, ever cut off the feet in a full body shot, especially for an outfit of the day picture! This is one of the most common pitfalls of instagram boyfriends!” With an exaggerated wave, he gestures to his boots. “Remember! The shoes are part of the outfit!”

The sheer enthusiasm of Haurchefant’s loud proclamation only gives Alphinaud further whiplash when he turns to look at Estinien, whose face has darkened with the deepest frown he’s seen his friend wear in a long while. 

“It’s just shoes... why the hell does it matter?”

He’s more than a little disgruntled as he recalled the way Totomi had asked him to take a photo of her new wool sweater and jeans, and her numerous loud demands for him to retake the shot with her bright red sneakers in frame. It wasn’t even a new pair - but one she’s worn for years...unable to appreciate the effort she’d went into making sure her entire wardrobe was perfectly color coordinated.

“Grumble all you wish, friend, but these are things of great importance in the eyes of our ladies! Now, repeat after me! The shoes are part of the outfit!”

“T-the shoes are part of the outfit...” Alphinaud mutters, as Estinien grumbles even further. His uncooperative behavior only causes Haurchefant to grow more pushy.

“Louder! With more gusto! THE SHOES ARE PART OF THE OUTFIT!”

“Nobody gives a damn about your shoes!”

No wonder Totomi has to nag him to retake her photos...

-----------------------------

“The angle you take the photo can either turn the picture into a stunning piece of work, or an unaesthetic disaster! Please Alphinaud my friend, demonstrate by taking a photo of Estinien sitting on this chair.”

Alphinaud has never held his phone in his hands for as long as he has on this day, so much that he can practically feel the heat from its overuse start to scald his palms and fingers. And yet he dares not to argue, and instead quickly snaps a photo of Estinien as instructed, who looks just as unamused and tired as he was, if not even more so. 

“Splendid, Alphinaud! The focus is just right! However, you would have done better were you to have taken the photo at a higher angle.”

“What difference would that have made?”

“A high-angled photo slims down the face, while a low-angled picture elongates the legs! Indeed, it may seem surprising, but such small, subtle differences in even the height at which you hold your camera could make all the difference in the world!” One would assume they were listening to a professional photographer speak from the way Haurchefant lectured them about the intricacies and importance of camera placement in taking instagram photographs.. and Alphinaud wasn’t sure if he was more exasperated or amazed. “Now, take a photo of Alphinaud and show me your fine work, Estinien!”

With yet another roll of his eyes, and a barely audible grumble, Estinien steps forward and holds up his phone, towering over his seated friend and quickly snaps a photo.

------------------------

“Now, we shall practice taking pictures of one another within an imaginary scenario.” The cups of coffee and plates of biscuit Haurchefant had fetched from the kitchen were gently placed upon the dining table, before he steps back and gestures towards Alphinaud. “Say your lady and you are on a date, and she asks you to take a photo of her at the table.”

 “Um.. well, something like this?”

Alphinaud holds his phone up to Haurchefant, whose smile falters for but a brief moment.

“Oh dear, my friend.. Did you not notice the misplaced broom in the background?” He leans down and taps on the side of the photograph, where sure enough a blurry and seemingly innocuous broom stood just on the edge of the frame. It seemed harmless enough to him, and yet that mistake seemed enough to cause even Haurchefant, whose joyous demeanor never seemed to be breakable, to slump his shoulders. “The secret to success is a keen eye and attention to detail, my friend.”

For the first time in three hours, Estinien lets out a smirk and a chuckle. It seems the only way he’d get any enjoyment out of this little photo taking lesson is to see Alphinaud be told off and dejected.

“You suck at this, don’t you?”

Alphinaud’s shoulders rise and fall with a nonchalant shrug.

“Pardon, but at least my photographs are in focus.” 

“You wanna say that a little louder again, punk?”

“Now, now! Let us not fight! We are brothers in arms, and there is still much and more to learn! For our next lesson, I shall teach you how to take pictures of food and drinks!”

-----------------------

Alphinaud’s phone battery has never once died on him in his life. Even with his normally liberal use of his applications such as the notepad, calculators and on the rare occasions, prolonged social media use, he’s never used his phone enough in a single day for the battery to ever run out.

That day had certainly been the first.. and it was also at the end of that saturday, upon watching the light and life from his smart phone die out on him, that Haurchefant urged him to get a portable charger... among other things such as a selfie stick. He’d even downloaded one of those photo editing applications, one that he has still yet to fully figure his way around. 

If there was anything he’d learn on that fateful day, and thought to himself as he walked home under the hues of the setting sun that evening, it was that taking instagram pictures was seriously not a joke.

And here he was on a date with the gardening club president a mere week later.. and a far changed... and scarred man.

“Is something wrong, Alphinaud?”

Illya had caught him staring at a brick wall with a piece of particularly ‘aesthetic’ looking graffiti, and for a moment his head had been filled with naught by red blaring sirens and a words that repeatedly chanted ‘photo op’ in his head. It was only by the grace of her voice, and a slight tug of her hand in his that his attention would be pulled away, a forced smile upon his expression.

“Oh, forgive me. I was just.. distracted.”

Illya has never asked him to take a photo of her, much less stopped their date dead in its tracks in order to take a picture for her social media. She never was the type who cared much for arbitrary internet fame and followers.. and he thought he had been as well. 

T’would seem however, that he’s taken Haurchefant’s advice to heart, a little too much for his own good.. and he’s certainly far more attentive of his surroundings and much to his own horror, of the outfits that the people around him wore. One thing he hadn’t exactly counted on however... was an interest being ignited within him, an urge to take photos at golden opportunities in life when he would have otherwise thought it too mundane to capture before his lesson with Haurchefant and Estinien.

And as he stands stock still with a phone in his hands, his adorable and well dressed girlfriend by his side.. and an incredibly aesthetically pleasing looking brick wall.. And the motto of the instagram boyfriends club Haurchefant had asked him to repeat like a mantra that day echoed incessantly in his ears.

‘Her likes are your likes’

The eyes of the camera were to be treated like a gods’.. and if they thought their girlfriends beautiful, what better way to express that love than to capture that beauty on camera and share it for the world to see?

“Would you like to take a picture, Illya?”

[the-shiftshop]

Hey Diary - Part 2

PART 1 of the Hey Diary Series

Monday came and I can finally experience my new life at school. It’s been about 3 days since my transformation from a total nerd into this campus crush, and my last usage of that Diary App in this phone. My heart is beating fast at the thought of how people would think of me in this new body. I’m super excited yet nervous of what may happen.

You see, I may have gained this heavenly figure and this new reality, but I did not get any memories for it. I have no idea who my new friends are. Still, I need to get to school and I should at least try and keep an act until I know what the heck is supposed to happen, but before that, I need to keep my online fans updated. I took a snap of myself in the mirror and posted it on my feed, then I went straight to school.

Stepping into the gate already gave a new feeling. Everyone was looking at me and every time I look back, they would shy away. There were other people who waved at me but I have no idea who they were.

I went to my locker to grab my stuffs for our first class. As I do so, I saw Keith on the other end with his friends, Peter and Tom, glaring back at me.

He have my phone in his hand. It’s still the same bully but without his daily routine of pushing my face to my locker door.  He walked pass me taunting me with my phone, then proceeded into our room.

I bit my lips in annoyance. Guess, I still have to deal with this guy.

“Heeeeeeey, Felix.”

Someone tapped my shoulder and I jumped on my place. “Ah-” I almost screamed.

“A little jumpy today, aren’t we?” The guy asked as I turned around.

I was kinda expecting it was Keith but when I looked, It was Alex, my new friend. Well actually, he’s supposed to be my friend since the first day in this school, but in this new reality. I remembered his name because he was the one who kept bugging me last Saturday night in my DMs. He has a bit stocky body, but its not that bad. He wears thick square glasses that enlarges his deep black eyes. If I could comment, I’d say he’s almost the same level as my old body but that’s only basing on his looks. As for what I saw in his timeline, he’s not really that kind of a nerd. He barely even studies and complains on his feed too much. He’s a very friendly guy in my class, actually, but that didn’t make him an easy target for Keith.

He smiled at me and was sucking in air as if he’s trying to pull some question out his chest.

“You’re bout to ask something?” I raised my eyebrows and he nodded.

“Well... Apparently there’s this thing online... It’s uh...” He kept cutting his words, hesitating to ask me something.

I guess I know what it was. I gritted my teeth and looked away.

“Lemme guess. There’s a rumor spreading about me, right?” I said.

“Well... Yeah...”

“Damn, dude. Whatever that may be, do you think I’ll do that?” I said. My body cringing when I tried to act cool and say “dude”. “Anyway. Let’s just get in class”

We started walking to our classroom door. He kept on talking to me, mostly about trying to workout to get rid of his belly. I also learned that he happened to befriend me because he thought I could give him a few advice in working out.

When we entered the room, everyone was also looking at me. Not with disgust but admiration. Everyone said hi to me except Keith and his crew who were laughing to themselves.

“Yo faggot.” Keith called me. “Did you get your morning suck today?”

He and his crew laughed louder. Where did they get that from? I never wrote that in my old phone? I furrowed my eyebrows at that thought. They’re probably just making things up without really basing on my old diary.

“Hey idiot. Do you think anyone’s gonna believe that?” A girl raised her voice at Keith.

“Well, I don’t know. Why don’t you ask Felix himself if what I’m saying ain’t true.” Keith laughed, making everyone look more annoyed than myself.

I sat down to my chair with Alex now sitting beside me. Our first professor went in and began his lectures. As for me, I was busy tinkering with the Diary App. If the Diary App helped me last time, I bet it can help me more today.

With my eyebrows still furrowed, I began to stealthily type without the teacher noticing.

Monday

Hey Diary,

I wish whatever that thing about me that Keith and his crew tried to spread would backfire to them.

I tried to save this in hope that the changes would happen immediately, but a pop up appeared.

ALERT: Input too short

I tried to type again but this time, I tried to lengthen my sentence. Still, the alert kept appearing.

I heard our professor clear his throat and my attention jumped to him. He caught me using my phone. I smiled and chuckled.

“Phone.” He said, pointing to me.

“Yeah, I’m sorry Mr. Dew. I-”

“Put it back to your bag, now.” He ordered and I quickly followed.

I was lucky enough that it didn’t get confiscated. I put my attention back to his lectures and jotted down notes.

Why wont my log work though? What does it mean by “Input too short”? Whatever it is, I might need to fix that when I have free time. I shouldn’t go back to that in class or I might lost my new phone too.

--

Lunch break. I was with Alex in the cafeteria. Some other girls wanted to sit with me but Alex kept on telling them that he seats are taken. He would eventually chuckled at me and ask if I never get tired of people following me anywhere I go. I would just laugh back, remembering that this is my first day in this new life. As I tried to take a bite on my food, I saw Keith his friends across the cafeteria. He was still looking at me. Glaring at me. I then looked away, showing a bit of annoyance again. I then pulled my phone out my pocket and came back to my Diary App.

Input too short, huh? Well let’s put all our hearts in this log.

Monday

Hey Diary,

Keith and his friends are spreading fake news about me again, although I have no idea on what that is about. They might’ve been spreading news about me being gay or a cocksucker. Whatever that may be I don’t think I can’t stand them this time. I’d be fine if they spread something real about me, something I’d be too guilty to fight back, but if they spread something I never did, I might not get a grip of myself.

I wish whatever they told everyone would backfire to them. I wish Keith and his friends would live the rumor they had spread.

I clicked saved and went back to my food, but as soon as I try to bite, my vision started to blur once more. Alex seemed to notice what’s wrong and tried to shake my shoulders while calling my name in panic. I tried to shake my head and blink fast but it made me lost my sight much faster. Soon, I blacked out once more.

--

I groggily opened my eyes and rose up where I was lying. Then I realized I was back in my bedroom. It was night time and my lights were dim. I looked to my right and saw dad sitting on my chair.

“Dad?” I called.

“Oh you’re awake! This friend of yours called me to school telling me you passed out. The nurse said you probably ate something bad and passed out. You were puking hard in the clinic this afternoon and I was super worried. I thought I’m gonna lose you too...”

“Dad. I’m okay. Don’t worry.” I tried to comfort him.

“I’m glad you are...” He came to me and gave me a hug.

“Is Alex still here?” I asked.

“Alex? Oh, well... It wasn’t Alex who helped you. He probably coward out when you fainted and-”

“Wait? Then who-”

Before I ended my question, someone entered the room.

“Keith?” I looked at him with confusion. He was carrying a glass of milk and some cookies which were probably from my dad.

He looked at me back with this dumb grin on his face and put his glass on my table. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I’m just gonna leave you two be. Enjoy that cookie, Keith.” Dad went out my room, leaving me and Keith alone together.

My eyes widened at the sight of Keith. Out of all people, Keith was the one to help me? I puffed out air in disagreement. I just looked away from him as he munch on his cookie. He then pulled a chair and dragged it near my bed. He first finished his food before he talked to me.

“Dude. I just can’t leave you dying there. I saw everyone just standing around you. Admiring you instead of actually helping you.”

“Like I should believe you. Alex could’ve tried to help me.”

“Alex? Dude was so paranoid he can’t even dial your dad.”

We were silent for a while as I try to ignore him. I grabbed a schoolbook from my nightstand and pretended to read, wishing him to go away.

“Felix. I know I did a LOT of bad things that not only affected your physically, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t help you when you need it.” I noticed that his tone was a lot different than how he used to talk to me. “And... I just wanna say I’m sorry.”

I closed my book hard at those words. He’s actually apologizing...? He grabbed my arm and shook it slowly.

“Could you take my apology?” I pleaded.

“What do you want? Is this some sort of a prank? What? Are you trying to film me and use this for blackmail? Where’s your camera?”

“Felix can you just listen to me? Do you think I’ll go this far just to bully you?”

“Yeah? Why not? Just tell me what you want and let me go for fuck’s sake.”

“Let me suck your dick.”

My eyes widened. Bigger than what I did when I saw Keith enter my room. Did he just ask me to let him suck me off? I whipped my arm to make him let go. I looked at him with my face clenching. What he said just made me mad.

“Fuck off Keith. I’m not gonna be a part of your show. Get rid of your camera and get out.”

He shook his head and laughed. His laugh isn’t those typical sinister sounding one that you’ll hear when villains get exposed for their crimes. It was more of a sad chuckle when someone gets rejected. He reached for something in his jacket’s right pocket. From there he pulled out my old phone and gave it to me.

“If there was a hidden camera here, what would I use it for? To stain my reputation too? I’m sucking you off then what? Tell everyone that: Hey guys! Felix let me suck his dick! Dude... I'm the one desperate here.” He tried to convince me. His eyes looked different from before. There were stars in his them. There’s seriously something wrong. “Do you still think I’ll go this far just to ruin you more? I’m sorry if I spread false rumor about you. I’m really sorry... Now if you still can’t accept my apology, I guess this would make you feel much... much... much better.”

Before I knew it, he was already grabbing my crotch as he tried to unzip my jeans with his other hand. I moaned and my cock is already hard. He unbuttoned my jeans and proceeded to caress my pole. His eyes are locked with mine. He was so close and I can feel his hot breath on my cheeks. He’s too near and it looks like he’s about to kiss me. He pulled the garter of my boxer and without any second thoughts, he pulled my rock hard cock out and started jerking it off. I realized that I wasn’t stopping him at all. I then moved my hands to his arm, trying to get it off.

“Keith... Stop.” I moaned when he squeezed it hard. My back tried to arch forward but he pushed me back by diving his lips onto mine. He removed his jacket off, probably because he was in heat.

Keith moved on top of me. My legs in between his. His right hand was still stroking my shaft while his left hand is under my shirt, moving it from my abs up to my chest. When he reached my chest, he pinched my right nipple which made me open my mouth. He took the chance to push his tongue in my mouth, trying to intertwine with mine.

My hands are still trying to stop him, but this time I placed them on his chest. I tried to push him away but he’s too strong. That’s when I noticed how muscular his body was. By some chance, my body was moving on its own. My left hand slowly moved down to his abs, feeling his cobblestone collection. My body start to relax as he continued to kiss me. There’s something therapeutic about what Keith’s doing to me. I can’t stop him anymore. My body already gave in as if it wants Keith without my own accord. Before I knew it, I was already kissing back with my tongue, although a second after that, he broke our kiss and proceeded to stripping my shirt off. He started worshiping my body. Giving each muscle a peck from my neck, to my arms, to my chest, to my abs, then finally to my crotch. Without any hesitation, Keith placed my cock on his mouth and started sucking me off. My hips responded by thrusting into his mouth. My hands on his shoulder. My breath became heavy. My arousal skyrocketed. Every time my cock grinds on the wall of his mouth was euphoric. This made me realize that my body is very sensitive. Every time he pulled and dove back down made my body twitch in every direction.

“Faster.” I can’t believe I’m saying this. My body is enjoying Keith so much. I can feel my balls starting to churn.

“I’m near.” I whispered. My hands migrated to his hair, pulling it as my body tensed.

“I’m gonna cum.” I said.

I released my load into Keith’s mouth. I came with what seems like a much bigger load than what I can originally do. He then swallowed them all and took a a big exhale as if he just took a soda. He smiled at me and placed my softening cock back in my pants. He zipped my jeans back up and buttoned it. He left me topless, recovering from my euphoric phase.

He gave me one last kiss and I kissed back. He chuckled and moved back.

“Guess you forgive me now?”

He then got off me and picked his jacket from the floor. He walked back to the door and grabbed his glass of milk.

“Thanks for the milk. See you tomorrow.” He opened my door. “Oh and... Can we still go back to me being your bully? But I guess this time... We can call ourselves frenemies.”

With that, he went out my room. He didn’t grab anything else. That means he meant that... He meant that!?

My new phone suddenly pinged. I grabbed it and saw the notification from the Diary App once more.

Wish was completed. Please take a picture and attach to the log to confirm change and to keep the new reality.

I didn’t know what to do aside from standing up, going out my balcony and aiming my camera to Keith who was already walking away from home, but I wasn’t able to take a picture of him since he was already too far to be seen.

Maybe tomorrow, unless this all reset when I sleep. This might be a problem.

[writingforloki]

Pizza-gate

One shot: Reader x Loki 

Random Prompt I found on tumblr 

So this was supposed to be under 1000 words but it ran away with me tehe

“Am I your lock screen?” ... “You weren’t supposed to see that”

You stretched and shoved your head deeper under the covers, as the annoying pinging of your alarm filled your ears. You cursed to whatever deity was listening about the fact that your life as a member of the avengers required you to be up at the crack of dawn.

After multiple snoozes of your alarm, you shuffled into the kitchen, your hair still a mess from sleeping, wearing one of Thor's massive T-shirts that you'd claimed when it had been mixed up with your washing one day, and some PJ shorts.

Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes you eyed the kitchen, spotting a certain Asgardian Prince leaning against one of the counters. “Morning” You mumbled sleepily, not actually looking at him, you knew he’d be smirking at your frumpled appearance so you walked past him and headed over to the fridge pulling out the milk, you could feel his eyes on you.

“Morning little mortal, you look very chirpy this morning, immaculately presented as always.” He jibed, folding his arms across his chest watching you potter around the kitchen.

You and Loki had what most people would call a love-hate relationship, he flirted shamelessly with you but you both infuriated each other, he wound you up to no end and you bit every time at his snarky remarks. But despite all that you were very comfortable around him and considered him to be one of your closest friends. You liked being able to be sassy and sarcastic to him without it cutting deep.

You looked at him deadpan “Its 6.30 am and I have a training session scheduled with a former assassin and a super-soldier. This is about as chipper as I’m going to get seeing as I’m going to get my ass kicked.” You grumbled whilst pouring yourself a cup of coffee.

Loki rolled his eyes at your dramatic response, plucking the coffee out of your hands that you’d just poured yourself and bringing it to his lips. You stared at him jaw slack as he took a long sip, keeping eye contact with you the whole time.

“What the hell Loki! I need that you arse-hole!” you whined at him lunging for your mug back, nearly catching him before he dissolved into thin air and reappeared behind you, leaning gracefully against one of the counters.

“Oh sorry I thought you were making this for me?” He feigned innocence whilst draining the mug of its entire contents. “Not your best anyway, far too sweet.” He winked at you whilst you fumed, glaring at him.

“You make my life a living hell, you know that?” You grumble storming out to your training session, still feeling half asleep and not wanting to spend any more time with the Asgardian Prince as there was a high chance of you stabbing him with a blunt butter knife this morning.

“Good luck with your ass-kicking my dear, I’ll be waiting dotingly to clean your wounds” He shouted after you. You simply flipped him the bird in response.

To say the training session kicked your ass was an understatement, Steve pushed you to your absolute limit making you run for miles and Nat sparred with you for what felt like hours. The icing on the cake was that you forgot your phone was in the side of your gym leggings and when Natasha decided to drop kick you particularly hard and you fell on your ass, she killed your phone along with your dignity.

You dragged yourself out of the gym and into your bedroom, and slipped into the wet room in your ensuite, letting the water soothe your aching body, you hoped it would wash away your bad mood along with your pain.

Dressed in some comfy sweats and leggings you decided you needed food, it was 2pm and you still hadn’t eaten anything, your stomach growled accordingly in protest of the lack of food, something you know Bucky would also tell you off for if he found out.

You wanted pizza but all you had in the house was damn healthy food, you needed to order take out and you needed to do it on the sly, ordinarily, this is when you’d turn to one of the multiple fast food apps on your phone, but as you reached for it and jabbed at the home screen button you remembered its tragic and untimely death. You cursed Natasha and her amazing thighs for ruining your life.

You figured you’d have to get your usual partner in crime to order it for you, so you sighed and dragged yourself out of your room and into the lounge you knew was Loki’s favourite. It was stocked with bookshelves and was one of the quieter areas in the compound. If he wasn’t sparring with Thor or annoying you, that is where he would be. You spotted his usual nest things scattered across one of the sofas in the corner but there was no sign of the man in question himself. You headed over to the sofa anyway and resigned yourself to waiting for him, he’d probably just popped out for a drink or something, you’d get him to order for you when he was back.

This seemed like a simple enough plan, until about ten minutes passed, ten long minutes that you attempted to fill by fiddling with the TV remote, and there was still no sign of him. You glanced down to where his book and phone were sat on the arm of the sofa, and looked behind you one final time to see if there was any sign of him. When there wasn't you picked up his phone, he’d probably be annoyed that you went on it but you’d deal with that later, right now all you wanted was a margarita pizza and some cheesy chips.

You tapped the home button praying he didn't have a password when something that you hadn't expected to see took the food right off your mind. It was you on his phone set as his lockscreen. You squinted and put your head closer to the screen in disbelief and stared at your image.

It was a picture of you on your birthday, the whole team had gone out to celebrate and you may have taken hitting 23 pretty hard as you’d consumed nearly as many tequila shots as Thor had and then fell asleep in the taxi on the way home. That was what the picture was, you asleep in the cab, head on Loki’s lap, party hat still on but slightly askew. You had blue glitter on your cheek and a lipstick smudge on the other. All things considered, it was a pretty cute picture, you took it in for a few seconds until you were shocked out of your thought process by the sound of footsteps and a voice.

“There you are, I was looking for a stretcher but there was no sign of one so assume you didn’t take that much of a beating-what are you doing?” The voice that was at first light and joking changed halfway through the sentence, sounding panicked and abrupt.

Your mouth was still open when you made eye contact with Loki, you weren't sure who looked more like a rabbit in the headlights between the two of you.

“I was just gonna order a pizza-” You started to say before he’s in front of you snatching his phone out of your hand.

Loki looked pissed but there's something else underneath and you recognise it straight away, embarrassment. Neither of you said anything as you stood looking at each other, both waiting for the other to say something. You decided it was probably going to have to be you to break the silence.

“Am I your lockscreen?” You asked, aware how dumb it sounds because it’s very clear that you got a good look at the picture of yourself.

Loki clenched his jaw. “You weren't supposed to see that.” his tone was clipped as he stared at you.

At first, you don’t know how to respond, your natural reaction would be to run away and pretend it had never happened but then you remembered the little coffee thief this morning, and how he revelled in your annoyance. You finally had the upper hand.

“Why am I your lock screen Loki?” You asked in a tone heavily dripping with mocking. “Is it because you love me? Do you sit and look at me through your phone longingly?” You put your hand to your heart dramatically. “When will my beloved notice me?” you sigh out.

At this point his eyes were narrow and he was straight out glaring at your performance, you knew you were taking things too far and that you should probably stop, but you couldn't help yourself because it was such a rare sight to see the ever snarky and poised prince looking incredibly uncomfortable and unsettled.

It’s only when he grabbed your arm and tugged you towards his chest hard, that you shut your mouth. He’s only inches away from you and he’s staring at your face with an unreadable expression. This is it, you think, he’s finally gonna murder me, and to be honest, you wouldn't blame him if he swung you out of the window, you admittedly were being a bit of an ass.

But something in the mood changed and suddenly the room was filled with a different type of tension. You noticed his eyes sweep over your face, you were transfixed by his tongue darting out to wet his lips. You couldn't help doing the same as your eyes flitted down to his mouth, the air seemed to grow hot around you and the atmosphere was definitely no longer joking. There was something else in the air that was thicker, and the telltale sign of stirring in your lower stomach made you bite your lip and turn your head up while as he angled his down towards you.

Your lips were a mere centimetre away from each others and he bumped your nose with his, grazing his lips against yours minutely before moving to your ear.

“In your dreams, little mortal.” He whispered and suddenly he was walking backwards away from you, his eyes still on your face before he turned around and walked out not sparing you a backwards glance. All the while you stood there shell shocked, breathing heavily and trying to contemplate what the fuck had just happened.

~~

Two weeks passed since what you started to refer to in your head as pizza-gate, happened and you had barely seen Loki, and to be honest you're weren't sure whos doing that was. Neither of you had reached out to the other, both being stubborn.

Usually, you’d be the one to crack but this time you wanted an apology. Yeah, you teased him and probably kick-started the whole thing but what he did was just plain mean. Not only was it mean but it also made you see things in a whole different way. Your mind was constantly flashing back to the feel of his lips on yours, the soft ghosting touch that was barely there but also there long enough to drive you insane over these past two weeks.

You felt lonely without Loki, without his scathing comments and his quick wit around, everything seemed quiet. You trained extra hard and even managed to knock Nat on her ass and give Sam a shiner. Everyone was impressed but they also noticed your lack of caution, ordinarily, you would rely on your powers in battle but you were throwing yourself into your training sessions, being wild and uncaring about what happened to you, all your pent up anger and emotion was coming to a head.

It isn’t really that much of a problem until it is.

You were on what was supposed to be a fairly tame mission, some recon on a potential hydra base, but of course, it's never really that simple. You were mid-fight with a hyrda agent, and your mind was everywhere; trying to watch your teammates but also trying to keep an eye on the bad guys. It was all going pretty well until you saw Peter in a vulnerable position. One of the hydra agents had him pinned down while the other is pointing some kind of blaster at him. You don't think before you made a beeline for the asshole, sending a flying kick to his temple, knocking him out whilst Peter scrambled to his feet and webbed up the other guy.

You turned to smirk at Peter and high five him, but your victory was short-lived as you heard the familiar sound of a gunshot and felt the pain radiating through your right shoulder. It’s a pain that spreads and feels like fire burning through your veins. The last thing you saw was Bucky break the guy’s neck and then it all went black.

You could hear bits and pieces, and you could feel your body being carried to the quinjet, someone ripping your tac suit open, a calm voice saying something about poison before it was interrupted by a murderous sounding one, demanding to know what happened.

When you really came around you were in a sterile white room which you could only imagine was the med bay, your shoulder hurt and your throat felt like sandpaper. You raised yourself slightly and scanned the room, your head whipping around when you saw someone moving in your peripheral vision, it wasn’t who you expected to see at all.

It’s Loki, and he looked pissed, downright murderous in-fact. He was sitting in the chair next to your bed with his hands folded under his chin and his elbows on his knees, he looked like he hadn’t slept. The look he gave you made you want to go back to being unconscious so you lift the comforter slightly over your face and hide, trying to lighten the mood, bringing it back down when you see no change on his face.

You sighed and tried to stretch your aching limbs, moaning in pain when you moved your injured shoulder and you see Loki flinch in response.

“Be careful, you silly mortal.” He scolded and reached out to prop your pillow under your head so you could sit up.

“Oh he speaks does he?” You said glaring at him. “I was starting to think you’d left planet earth, but no, you were obviously just avoiding me.” You pouted and turned your head, looking anywhere but his face.

He leaned forward and ran a hand down his face. “The bullet in your shoulder was poisoned, you could have been killed yet you want to talk about that right now?” his face was filled with disbelief.

You took a second to think about what he said and looked him in the eyes. “Yes because you’re right, I could have died and the last thing you would have said to me was, In your dreams mortal. " You spat out, willing yourself not to cry.

At least now Loki had the decency to look a little sheepish but when he opened his mouth to talk but you don’t let him.

“What the fuck does that even mean, who does that?! All I wanted to do was order a freaking pizza!” Admittedly you were feeling a little hopped up on the meds you’d been given, but two weeks of confusion paired with being shot must have got to you a little.

“What is it you would like me to say Y/N?” Loki stood up now and began to pace. “That I’m sorry? That you caught me off guard when you said what you did about me being in love with you? That everything you were mocking me with is true? That I was terrified and furious with you that I found out you put yourself in danger as you did? And that if Barnes hadn't already killed that Hydra dolt I would have ripped him into pieces?” He turned to you with his fists clenched and you could see how hard this was for him, it was written all over his face.

That's what made you bite the bullet. No more dancing around each other and teasing. Your heart hurt and you could feel it aching after seeing the vulnerability on his face. That along with a year of stolen glances, and flirty remarks. After years of him paying his dues to the world and changing for the better, you got to see his guard finally fall down.

You were shaking now as you slammed your fist from your good arm on the bed and half-shouted “Loki I love you for fuck sake, and I need you so please don't leave me again.” Now you let yourself cry, big fat tears spilled down your cheeks and you were sure you looked a wreck.

But then he’s there, by your side, kneeling on the ground next to your bed, one hand around the back of your head, his thumb held your jaw, stroking and comforting. The other hand was wiping the tears off your face. You were only inches apart again but this time it’s all you need and you can tell he feels the same because in no time his lips were on yours, needy and desperate as you kissed him back, giving him full access to you.

The kiss was full of unspoken words; apologies and I love yous, things you should have said but have been too stubborn to say, and when you pulled back and look at Loki's face, still furrowed with concern for you, you wonder why it took you so damn long to finally tell him how you felt.

You looked at each other, your hand on his neck and his still on your jaw stroking gently, there were too many things to say so you just say the first thing that comes to mind. “You owe me a coffee and a pizza.”

He rolled his eyes and pulled away, sitting back in his original seat next to the bed, but he intertwined his hand with yours. “You midgardians are such a strange species.. gets shot and is still thinking with her stomach.” But he was smiling underneath his usual sarcastic expression and you decided it's your new favourite thing in the world.

“Oh yeah.” You deadpan “That's why I walked in front of a bullet, just on the off chance you might talk to me and buy me a pizza.” You said rolling your eyes and he mirrored your expression.

“I do have one more question though,” You asked and he cocked his head to one side in a go-ahead gesture.

“Why that picture?” you query and a small smile appeared on his face.

“Ah, I believe I found it, what you midgardians call, cute.” He replied and leaned forward on his elbows again. “It was also the time it first became apparent that you wanted me.” He raised his eyebrows in a comical way and you felt your face turning beet red.

“Wanted you? What are you talking about Loki?” You said taking your hand out of his and raising it to hide your face in embarrassment.

“I believe your exact words were, Do you sleep on your stomach? No? Can I. oh and this one was a personal favourite, Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.” He smirked and looked completely satisfied with your horrified reaction.

“Oh my god, how do I not remember that?!” You squealed. “Most of all how did you not torture me with that information?!”

“You don't remember that because Thor had been slipping you Asgardian shots when Natasha and Steve weren’t looking, and as to why I didn’t torture you? I was saving it for the perfect ammunition next time you really angered me.” He smiled his trademark Villain smile and you couldn’t help yourself pulling him towards you and kissing that annoying smirk off his face.

“Well you have no leverage on me now, I guess the cats out of the bag, and now I’m not afraid to admire that sweet ass.”

[sleepyxdarling]

What would your ocs do when their darling is pregnant?

Omg yay an oc request! Also..as you can tell the boys look different..this is due to the fact that the app I used before to make them completely decided not to work so I used picrew.

This is bout to be one long post

Warning:story contains abuse, disturbing behavior, and nsfw talk

Yandere bois find out S/O is pregnant!

Yoshi

Yoshi had walked into the home you both shared only to see his lovely [name] pacing back and forth in the living room.

Of course yoshi didn't say anything since he figured you were just being weird but it did irk him that you didn't even say hello to him. Out of annoyance he walked over to you and pushes you down on the couch and crawled ontop of you straddling you down

"what is your problem kitten?! Not saying hi? You think you are better than me? A pitiful girl like you?!" His tone was filled with rage as he grabbed your hair roughly.

"no! Please! I'm...I'm.." your stammering seemed to piss yoshi off more as he loosely puts a hand around your throat "you what... speak pig" he hissed out.

"pregnant! I'm pregnant!"

This made yoshi pull back and he chuckles softly "really? That's great! You must feel honored to be carrying my baby" his cocky tone would have been encouraging..only issue is you two have sex with condoms that you know don't break..plus you are secretly taking birth control.

"yoshi..I..um..I don't understand how I'm pregnant"

Your nervous stammering only made yoshi laugh more "you think I didn't plan this? Oh you dumb girl..you don't pregnant unless I want you to" he said as he cupped your face in his hands "who knew using a turkeybaster would be so easy when you're asleep...also..next time I find birth control in this house...I will make you suffer " He whispers out while his eyes swirled with insanity.

"now we can be a family..mommy...daddy...and baby"

Those months through pregnancy were hell dealing with yoshi and his protective and abusive behavior.

Suke

Suke was cooking dinner when his darling [name] came to him looking quite excited. Suke was a gentle lover who would never hurt his darling and of course they had no real reason to truly fear him.

He felt arms around him which made him jump slightly but he trusted his lover with everything he had so he wasn't too tense.

"I have amazing news!" Your cheerful voice made him smile as he finished dinner which was spaghetti

"let me set the table then we can discuss it.." he spoke calmly as he started to serve places and set the table before sitting with you. He could tell you were bursting with excitement so he took a sip of wine and let you say what you wanted.

"we are having a baby!"

His reaction..was not a good one. Suke spit his drink out onto the floor before turning his head to you with wide eyes. He looked pale and started to sweat.

"a...a...a baby?! What?! Impossible..did the condoms break?! This can't happen!" He was stressed for sure and that wasn't the reaction you were expecting so of course you were disappointed.

"you don't want a baby?"

Your words made him tense up and he could tell he hurt you deeply. "I want a baby..but..what if they end up blind? How could you even think of forgiving me for passing that down to them?"

Suke was now up on his feet pacing back and forth "they will have so many issues...they will have to be homeschooled the moment their vision starts to weaken and things will be so much harder for them" his babbling only got faster and you grabbed his arm to calm him down.

He lets out a long sigh before pulling you into his arms

"we...we will work it out"

The pregnancy was one with many doctor visits and lots of caution.

Taro

Taro had returned from a church event when you sprung the news on him through baby clothes on the bed along with a pregnancy test.

Taro usually when he got home was more of himself...aka a lot more rowdy and abrasive. The moment he saw you he couldn't help but pick you up.

"you serious?! We havin' a baby? [Name] this better not be a joke or else.." he was excited but warry.

"it's not a joke taro! I am pregnant!" Your statement sent him into overdrive and he couldn't help but spin you around while laughing

"holy shit! Holy shit! We are havin' a baby! I guess the Lord does awesome thing eh?" He cheers out and couldn't help but kiss you all over your face.

The pregnancy was a happy one for sure and taro treated you like a queen..even when you annoyed him.

ryo

Ryo is usually gone a lot due to work but he still takes the time to spend it with his babe. Hell sometimes he brings you with him on job assignments since you never really distract him too much.

This time though you both were out and he just finished taking a few pictures so he decided a stroll through the park would be fine..that's when you busted the news out on him.

He grew pale and looked like he had been punched in the gut. He was silent for a few minutes before looking at you with a nervous expression

"damn..how are we supposed to fuck with a baby in ya?" He questions out seriously.

You weren't sure if you should hit him or not but you decided not to smack him..though he deserved it.

Ryo chuckles as the information really sinked in "we are having a baby..you are gonna look really cute all swollen with my brat in you" he teased softly.

The pregnancy with ryo was....interesting. he took care of you but there was a lot more sex involved the bigger you got in your terms.

Ryuji

As a teacher kids are everything to ryuji so you knew he would be happy but you were still nervous and in tears by the news that you were even pregnant..it still shocked you.

When he got home he saw your tears and immediately got nervous. He hated to see his princess cry and so he was at your side hugging you tight

"my sweetheart.. sugarplum..angel..what's the matter?" His bundle of nicknames did make you feel better but you were still crying.

"I'm.. pregnant." You cried out and he gave but a simple hum "is that so? How exciting.." he said calmly as he pulled back to get you some tissues.

His eyes were slightly widen to show his pupils more and he was smiling..he knew you were pregnant. He is very sharp and the moment he felt something was wrong he may have stolen some of your blood and submitted it in for a blood test in order to check if you are pregnant.

He of course was so happy you told him and head happy to have this baby with you since he did Poke the hole in the condoms before use just to be sure you would get pregnant.

The pregnancy was a well prepared one for sure and ryuji made certain you two were ready for anything no matter how small.

Shun

Seeing as shun acted childish you were unsure if he can handle being a father. You two were ready to go to the beach and you had bought a baby toy for the beach to tell the news. When you both got there shin was all for the water and sand.

"hey hey creampuff! Let's build a sand castle!" His happy cheers were cute but this wasn't the time right now so you beckoned him close before showing him the beach toy

Shun got it really quick and was quite excited.

"oh my! Sweetcakes...are we having a baby?! Do you know the gender? What are we going to name them? What do you think they would look like? Ah I'm so exited to go shopping!" His questions and squealing only made you feel like he wasn't mature enough for a kid.

You felt him hug you and he gave a small hum "hey..plumcake..if anything happened to our kid..you know I wouldn't be happy right? So let me take care of you. Never leave my side. Don't you dare take any medicine or eat any food until I give you the okay" his tone was cold and firm yet low and hush as he rubbed circles along your stomach.

"daddy will always be here..my little pumpkin"

The pregnancy was a controlled one..but shun made it fun.