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w3bgrl · 10 months

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how can i say it

synopsis: cantsay is a skz-record track written and produced by juyeon march third, 2021. however, cantsay was actually originally a song she released predebut that had long-lasting effects on a certain somebody.

date: march 4th, 2018

word count: 1.8k

featuring: kang juyeon, seo changbin

warnings: n/a

a/n: listen to cantsay here. keep your eyes peeled for a post with all of juyeon’s songs! also ٩( ᐛ )و this took 4 separate attempts to write so i may come back and fix it at some point sorry <3

changbin took a deep breath as he approached the studio door, palms sweaty in his balled fists. surely, she was here, but that’s exactly what worried him. he hadn’t spoken to her since last night and was pretty sure his judgment was still hazy from her update on soundcloud.

before he could work up an excuse to turn around and chalk this up as a missed opportunity changbin raised his knuckles to the door and knocked lightly. it was silent on the other side - there was honestly no noise at all, not even the familiar buzz of the fluorescent lights. he chewed on his bottom lip.

maybe he was wrong. maybe the dots he had connected weren’t actually there and now he was just knocking on the door of an empty room. the possibility that he had brought himself to a dead end irritated him on top of everything else and he brought his fist to the door again just to be sure. this time he knocked hard, loud enough that if there was someone inside there would be no way they could ignore it.

this time, however, there was a discernible boom! from inside the studio before he could hear the shuffling of footsteps. changbin was utterly unprepared when juyeon cracked open the door to the dark room with her hand on her knee. her curly hair was disheveled and sticking up by her ears as if she had carelessly shoved her headphones off.

“jeez,” she laughed once she recognized him and let him inside “you scared me! what are you doing here?” changbin made note of how she rushed to close her most recent project before he sat down.

“just checking on you. when were you planning on going home?”

“uh,” she sighed "soon…maybe? what time is it?”

changbin smiled warmly. typically, curfew was 10 pm. sometimes it could be flexible due to practices running later than planned, but everyone was supposed to be at least in their dorms by 10 pm. knowing her, her phone must’ve died long before he arrived.

"it's midnight." he said gently.

juyeon's cheeks bloomed a peachy pink and she tucked her hair behind her ears. "oh…good."

"it's okay, you're not in trouble or anything" he reassured her "chan asked if i'd heard from you, so i came to see if you'd be here."

changbin paid attention to how her lips pressed together as she hummed before she turned away from him to shut her laptop down. “what gave me away?” she asked over her shoulder.

“huh?”

she glanced back at him, the majority of her face obscured by her long brown locks. “how’d you know i was here?”

his mouth made an ‘o’ shape once he understood what she was saying. "you always post before leaving the studio. i thought maybe you came back to work on something else."

he was referencing the new song she had posted on soundcloud the night before. she had a habit of finishing up songs in the early hours of the morning and posting it before she went home for the night. so when chan reported her as missing to changbin and jisung half an hour ago, he had a strong sense that she would be back in the studio.

juyeon pushed her laptop into her bag before she turned back to him. her gaze pierced through the darkness like a spotlight when she met his eyes. “so…you saw my new song?” she asked, her cadence strange — as if she was finding the words along the way.

‘saw’ was a gross understatement. changbin had turned her post notifications on a while ago to make sure he could be the first to hear whatever creation she had gifted to the world of soundcloud, so of course he clicked on the notification as he was doom scrolling well into the morning. and of course he listened to it, first admiring the instrumentals paired with her honey-smooth voice. but about halfway into the song he started to actually comprehend what she was saying in the lyrics and something began to ache on the inside.

“tell me first about how you feel about me. i wonder if it’s possible for us, will we be able to love each other someday? i know i'm not your type. i just tend to be delusional, i'm totally fine being your sisi right now. i don't wanna make things awkward with words. i like it just how it is now. how can i say it? let’s pretend we’re just friends.”

as the moon started to fall from his view, changbin sat up in his bed and grabbed his chest as if he was having a heart attack. it felt like his feelings had been hit by a truck. there were a thousand different thoughts in his mind and all of them conflicted with each other; it wasn’t about him, but he felt so connected to it he could have written it himself. but certainly - most definitely - it was not about him. juyeon was not the type to like guys like him, he probably wouldn’t even cross her mind in that aspect. too much of a brother, maybe. or perhaps these were old lyrics about someone else she’d known a long time ago. or maybe it was about someone they were set to debut with soon.

whatever it was, the more he denied the idea that he was the subject of her pining, the more he longed for it. because when he thought about juyeon, those same words came to mind. ‘i know i’m not your type, not tall enough or cool enough. i’m totally fine being your ‘bro’ right now, i don’t want to change things by saying something that doesn’t need to be said. let’s pretend we’re just friends.’

the honest truth was; changbin always liked juyeon. who didn’t? she was thoughtful and warm and talented - not to mention how obviously beautiful she was. and the more he got to know her, the more this magnetism became apparent. so he vowed early on to never look too deep into this feeling - hide it away and leave it be.

— and then he listened to her new song. it re-inflicted that yearning that he honestly hadn't really come to terms with. a yearning that he couldn't even begin to think of describing, not because he didn't know what it was, but because he did.

changbin spent the rest of the night listening to this song while he made lists in his head of all the reasons this was a bad idea; why he was just a friend, or why he maybe could be a little bit more than a friend.

“yeah” he responded simply in the hopes she wouldn’t prod any further. that doesn’t mean he thought she actually would.

juyeon finally put all of her things away and zipped her bag to sling it over her shoulders, fingertips reaching to twist the ends of her hair. “and?” her voice was so soft he almost couldn’t hear her.

‘and; it hits a little too close to home right now, so i’d say it’s great for when you’re hopelessly doomed by the universe. you really got the pathetic pining down to a science’

“it was good.” changbin opened the door for her “you always have such interesting beats.”

she stepped into the hall and waited for him before starting their short walk back home. “thanks. took me a week.” although she didn’t say anything outwardly glum, changbin felt a shift in her demeanor, like she had been let down by his short response. he cleared his throat.

“and um — it really tells a story, i think. it sounds like you wrote it in the moment, you know what i mean? it’s almost like you were telling the other person directly…you know?”

he analyzed her out of the corner of his eye and he swore she was biting the smile from her lips, her hands in her hair again. another habit she probably didn’t know anyone else noticed.

the pair arrived to the elevators where their journey home split in two different directions; the girls’ dorm above the practice rooms while the boys’ was below. usually the boys said their goodbyes to juyeon and took different elevators to hurry back to their beds for the night, but tonight as they stopped in front of the elevators, she turned to changbin with a sparkle in her eyes.

“wanna make sure i get home safe?”

his eyebrows knit together with a confused smile. “what do you mean?”

she shrugged as she pressed the call button. “elevators are super dangerous — i’m sure — you should ride up with me to make sure i survive the trip home.”

the elevator arrived on their floor and the doors opened with a ding! changbin swallowed thick as she held the door open and gestured for him to get in, a mischievous smile on her lips. how could he say no?

changbin made quick strides into the elevator and pressed the button for floor 5 whilst she leaned against the railing inside. once the doors finally closed she nodded at him. “see? super dangerous.”

juyeon’s strange demeanor was scrambling his brain like eggs and he had to shake his head to sift for any conscious thoughts. “what is this?”

she laughed “nothing. i’m just in a good mood.”

“well, this is a weird mood, but i’m glad you’re having a good time.” changbin now noticed her messy hair again, and although he thought it was kinda cute, he knew her well enough to know that he’d be scolded for not at least telling her. “your hair’s all messed up.”

juyeon suddenly frowned and began running her nails through her hair, missing the right spot every time by the grace of god. “why didn’t you say anything before?”

changbin stifled a chuckle but couldn’t hide the smirk that came to his face at her response. “here,” he took a step into her space and ran his fingers through the soft brown hair above her ears to brush any stray hairs back in place. however, he was distracted by her big eyes staring up at him.

“what?”

he watched as the sparkles in her eyes disappeared and became half-crescent moons to compliment the smile on her face. “nothing! i just like to do this thing where i use my eyes to see.”

changbin opened his mouth to say something when the elevator stopped and the doors reopened.

ding!

juyeon laughed again and pretended to wipe sweat from her brow. “whew, we made it!” she fled their proximity into the hallway and turned back to the flabbergasted boy. “thanks for getting me home safe. i’ll see you tomorrow, changbin.”

all he could say was “yeah, goodnight, juyeon.” the elevator doors began to close and he could see her waving until they shut completely, leaving changbin in the sobering, silent elevator ride down to floor 3 like a descent to hell — a hell where he’d lay wide eyed in bed with his headphones entirely too loud for months to come.

#♡ billie #♡ binchu #skz oc #stray kids oc #stray kids #stray kids 9th member #stray kids imagines #seo changbin imagines #changbin imagines #kpop added member #kpop oc #kpop addition

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respectthepetty · 1 year

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A Question about MaxTul !!!

I hear you’re abit of a fan??

SO, please can I ask what your fave Maxtul scenes are that they have done across their shows!!!

Also, do you think we will get them in something again?

Anon, once again, you are not to blame for Tul's departure from acting. This is on me. I put all my eggs kidneys in the Transplant (Manner of Death x Triage) basket.

I am a huge fan of MaxTul, and as the saying goes, I'd rather have had witnessed their amazing chemistry than have never known them at all. I'm straight clownin' but I'm going to still hope for them to star in Transplant for as long as I live. It could happen thirty years from now when Tul retires from his career in real estate and development. I can wait like that woman in Titanic. It doesn't matter when I get it as long as I get it. Are you listening, Tul?

To your ask - I enjoy every MaxTul scene, but since you are making me pick favorites (what is with y'all forcing me to choose between all the things I love?!) . . .

Top Ten MaxTul Scenes

#10 - PRIDE - MaxTul

This is the only actual MaxTul propaganda I will regularly tote out that has nothing to do with a series because it isn't even from a show. It's just them being them. In 2021, they released a handful of photos for Pride, and I love them for it.

#9 - Club Kiss - Manner of Death

The way the lights dance around them while Tan holds Bun's neck as their heads align with each other is beautiful. The director created magic with that shot and my shitty GIF does not do it justice.

#8 - Confession - Together With Me

Before Pat whispered "no" on that rooftop in Bad Buddy, and Win told Team to "be brave about it" in Between Us, Korn asked Knock if "the love I have for you, doesn't it give you courage? Courage to love a man like me?" and I haven't left that bedroom since. That's some Grey's Anatomy level of line delivery, and it hit me straight in my heart where it still resides six years later.

#7 - Rain & Umbrellas - Together With Me

I doubt Knock and Korn did the "comfort the other person under the protection of an umbrella while it rains" trope first, but they did it the best, and now every time I see it in a BL, my heart grows a little more each time.

#6 - "You smell so good" - Manner of Death

This is actually parallel scenes, but they are my favorites because in the first scene, Tan told Bun he smelled good, yet Bun quickly walked away in disgust. The next time it happened, Bun told Tan he smelled good right after they broke into a truck to steal a laptop, and in the midst of that adrenaline rushing through their bodies, Tan did not hesitate to take Bun's confession as an invitation, and sexed his man up ALL NIGHT! Blessed.

#5 - Getting caught - Together With Me: The Next Chapter

Knock and Korn finally got back together and were doing what they do best - BEING VERS! - when surprise surprise, their friends were chilling outside watching them figure out their next position move. Their friends were checking up on them after their big blowout, but instead their friends got to see them blow each other's backs out. Blessed times two.

#4 - Not getting caught - Manner of Death

Tan and Bun had to get out of the hospital before the police caught them, so the entire hospital staff helped them escape on a gurney because ACAB! But even in their dire situation, Tan was still flirting with Bun and trying to make a move on him to much of Bun's frustration. No matter the time or place, Tan proved he wanted his man, carnally.

#3 - Engagement - Bad Romance

First off, Bad Romance aired before Together with Me, but timeline-wise actually happens between Together with Me and Together with Me: The Next Chapter, yet in reality IT MAKES NO SENSE.

The boys were color-coded in this series (and lightly in the other two), and the attached image is their color exchange. Yep, that's right! Korn (Max) is the Blue Boy and Knock (Tul) is the Red Rascal, and Knock lived up to that label in Bad Romance. Knock wanted to be out, and Korn had to be in the closet, then Knock kissed another dude, yet all ended with Korn proposing to Knock in front of all their friends (while wearing pink!). A mess, but it is my beloved mess!

#2 - Wedding - Manner of Death

I did not think we would get a happy ending out of Manner of Death. When shots were fired in the tenth episode, I was screaming! And yet the boys not only survived everything they went through, THEY GOT MARRIED! Thailand has not legalized marriage equality yet, so for the whole team to say "Fuck it! We gonna do it anyway" in 2020 was the rainbow sprinkles on top of this bomb-ass sundae of a series!

#1 - Husbands - Triage

This one-minute cameo wins. This is my everything, and I will cling to forever regardless if my clown ass gets Transplant or not. We saw the boys get together as Knock x Korn in Together With Me. We watched them get engaged in Bad Romance. We witnessed them fall apart and come back together in Together with Me: The Next Chapter. We got to see them grow up and get married as Tan x Bun in Manner of Death. And we celebrated them as HUSBANDS in Triage.

So if Triage really was MaxTul's final outing together, I'm glad I got to go along for the entire journey, from the chaotic beginnings of a drunken one-night stand to the grand finale of committed husbands. The boys gave us a hell of a ride (pun intended).

*I'm gonna cry*

#MaxTul #Manner of Death #Bad Romance the series #Together With Me #Together With Me: The Next Chapter #I'm gonna go cry now #I'm on the tenth stage of grief #max nattapol #tul pakorn

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seasononesam · 2 years

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#personal #love these polls it's like narcissus looking in the pond TO ME

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miashyperfixations · 1 year

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THE GOOD WITCH - MAISIE PETERS ALBUM REVEIW

23.06.2023 • Pop/Alternative • 15 songs • 47 minutes • 2023 Gingerbread man records, Warner Music Group

★★★★☆

FAV SINGLE: Run

TOP 3: Coming Of Age • Wendy • Watch

Maisie Peters is a British singer-songwriter, based in London & originally from West Sussex. Peters emerged into the music industry in 2017, signing to Atlantic Records shortly after, Under which, she released two EPs & other singles as well as writing the soundtrack to the Apple TV+ series ‘Trying’. In 2021, Maisie signed to Gingerbread Man Records, releasing her debut album that same year & now, releasing her sophomore album ‘The Good Witch’.

Something I love about this album is that she doesn’t shy away from production. A lot of emerging pop artists tend to go for an acoustic sound now, recording songs at home in their bedroom or closet with just a laptop & a mic and sending them off for mixing. Whilst Maisie has some of that sound in her songs, they still have complex elements of production & her upbeat pop songs reign above with the layering of all kinds of instruments: drums, synths, vocals, the list goes on. She perfectly combines the two sides of pop music into her discography whilst remaining a lyrical genius. She’s also broken the mould of female pop artists having to re-invent themselves with every album cycle & finding a new sound. In reality, there’s nothing wrong with continuing to produce music of a certain sound, especially if it works for the artist. In my mind, ‘The Good Witch’ is a more mature older sister to Maisie’s debut album ’You signed up for this’.

‘Wendy’ is without a doubt one of the most lyrically beautiful songs I’ve ever heard. The album’s 9th track, written around the concept of Peter & Wendy, is a song about knowing your own worth & choosing the right path (even if it’s not what the heart wants) to avoid becoming invisible & regretting life later on. It shows that wanting to see the best in others isn't always good because you become blind to the truth as it becomes an unreachable reality. Even if you know it’s right, things can still feel wrong in the moment & you have to make the sacrifices that are best for you. In a heartbreaking way, the song is an uplifting ballad about taking control of your own life & not waiting around on people who might not even be there in the end.

The week after the album was released, on the 30th June 2023, ‘The Good Witch’ debuted at number 1 on the UK’s official album charts which gave Maisie her first ever number one album. Additionally, at 23, Maisie became the youngest British female solo artist to do so in almost 10 years, the record was previously held by Ella Henderson who achieved number 1 with her LP ‘Chapter One’ in 2014 at 18 years old. Maisie’s first album, ’You signed up for this’, peaked at number 2 on the official album chart when it was released in 2021.

Alone, Maisie has built up a large fanbase, having been dubbed one of Taylor Swift’s industry children & thus, attracting hordes of British swifties, but she has also done so through her relationship with Ed Sheeran. Sheeran signed Maisie to his record label 'Gingerbread Man Records’ in 2021 after she burst into the music industry & the two have a very close & public mentor/mentee relationship. A key part of building her fanbase has come from opening for Sheeran’s ‘Mathematics Tour’ for almost all of the UK/EU dates, all Oceania dates & a few of the American dates. As an incentive for ‘The Good Witch’ to reach number 1, Ed claimed over social media that he’d release a fan-favourite demo of hers if the album did so. And true to his word, Ed leaked ‘Girl’s House’ the evening the album charted via a link on his instagram story & fans went mental.

Overall, I think that I personally prefer Maisie’s first album (as a body of work) but this is subject to change as time goes on of course. She is, without a doubt, one of the next big pop girls on the scene & her neverending talent just solidifies her position in the music industry.

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demonio-fleurs · 11 months

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i was tagged in a 20 Questions meme!

sorry for taking so long to respond, i can be kinda lazy sometimes and was waiting to be able to use my laptop <3 but ty for the tag @iam-jacks-redacted-information !!!

let's dive right in!

1 ) How many works do you have on AO3?

28!

2) What’s your total AO3 words count?

120,637 (owo)

3) What fandoms do you write for?

Red vs Blue, Spider-Man, World of Warcraft and SPYXFAMILY are what are listed on my ao3 profile. I've done my most amount of work in the RvB fandom, but i've also written a LOT for The Hunger Games, Torchwood, and (sadly) Harry Potter and Twilight. Just... not on ao3.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Next Time Around which is an RvB rewrite w/ Tex surviving outside of the Epsilon memory unit, instead of being erased by Church at the end of s9 (which i still need to rewrite and finish waaah) Closure which.. I genuinely don't remember writing. Scars which I wrote on behalf of someone who wanted more non-sibling Carwash fics a cup of coffee in the morning which I wrote after a desire to see more of Wash's tastes/interests changing after the implementation of the Epsilon AI it's all in your head aka, a cute lil thing I did for fifteen minute ficlets that I need to get back into for SPYXFAMILY and twiyor.

5) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes and no. It depends! I am an awkward person so if I know how to reply, I usually will especially if it's something i can answer! However, if it's something where i can't really think of a good response I might just leave it, or come back to it later.

6) What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uh... i tend to not write angsty endings. I like happy endings, I like knowing that despite everything, happiness can still be found. Like I LOVE angst, but I also like rewarding myself with some happy endings.

but one time I wrote about Cinna's death from THG so.... does that count?

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I've never finished it, but my intended ending for Next Time Around was to have Tex going to Allison's grave on Earth with Carolina and Wash and laying down Forget-Me-Nots, before going back to live out the rest of her time with the Reds and Blues.

8) Do you get hate on fics?

Never directly, but I also don't really remember a lot of 2015-2018 because of cringe :'). I do think a lot of Peter/gwen fics got indirect hate from peter/mj fans which sucks because Peter has TWO hands!

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I have orphaned most of my smut fics, but yes. I have done some basic ass vanilla guy eats out a girl stuff, but my favorite is the kinky sapphic smut. If you ever stumble upon a Tex/Emily Grey smut fic by an orphaned account, that was me :)

10) Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No, they're just not for me.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No but last time I checked in 2021 someone had stolen my fucking background/about section from Tex RP blog and that was a COMMON problem I had in the RvB RP fandom on here. So. much. fucking. theft. of. my. god. damn. about. page.

And I put hours of work into it. Hours. It was detailed, and people just keep fucking stealing it somehow.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I am aware of!

13) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

errrr...... Trying to rack my brain but coming up with a blank. i've written fics as favors/gifts for people though! Usually a "I have this idea and no idea how to write it help me pls Ange" thing

14) What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Church/Tex. Something about the inherent doomed by the narrative of it all, how no matter how hard Church tries to pull her close she always drifts away from him, the levels of love and trust they have towards one another.... Like they are DOOMED lovers but also they kinda both know that and that's what makes it so difficult.

15) What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I really really wanna go back and re-do and finish Next Time Around, and after playing NieR Automata that desire is even more present. but also, one piece is my current hyperfixation so I have no idea if I ever will.

16) What are your writing strengths?

oh. oh god. oh. um. hm.

Probably my short, punchy sentences. Where not a whole lot is being said, but the impact is still really strong and the emotions of what I'm trying to impart are impactful.

Also, my inner character monologues. I love that shit. Lemme open up their mind and tell you their entire secrets

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Combat and physical descriptions B)

Combat is just... Idk. So much going on and it's so hard and you have to be really good about the descriptions and the motions and movements or else it's all a mess. And physical descriptions just... I'm a byproduct of the cringe era so I always worry about how my descriptions will sounds T-T

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

/shrug

I have never attempted to create my own fictional language, and I probably never will. It just isn't for me. I am planning on trying to pick Japanese back up, as when I was a wee child I knew it fairly well, but lost it as the years went on.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

Shugo Chara! or Sailor Moon

20) Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Next Time Around is my current magnum opus but it also unfinished and I have no idea when I will pick it back up.

And that's a wrap! Thank you again @iam-jacks-redacted-information for the tag!!! I appreciate it, and i loved reading through your responses! Plus it made me go back through my old ao3 archive and see what I have written which I haven't done in a minute.

Anyways <3 if you wanna play this game please feel free to, and tag me in it! I always feel awkward tagging bc I still don't know a whole lot of people on here anymore QwQ

#fdjkfjsijfsijf my responses all over the place #oh whale <3 #tag games #long post #about ange

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softgaycontent · 1 year

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so, I’ve been really into MLMs lately... [click panels for legibility, transcript in readmore]

PANEL 1: Me, a woman with short hair, sitting pensively. An arrow pointing to me reads, “Between Special Interests”. Beside me is a grey doodle of a vulture by animal bones, with the caption, “my last special interest, picked clean”. Below the carcass, it reads, “Leverage (2008)”.

PANEL 2: Me, staring upwards, with dialogue, “Maybe my next one won’t be so media-focused.”

PANEL 3: Me as an 8 year old, with big dark eyes and shoulder length hair, reads a large, thick books on dogs, labeled, “Dogs - Raising & Breeding; (not child-targeted).” There are pictures of dogs to the right inside of a thought bubble, and a DS playing Nintendogs to the left. The dialogue continues, “Something Educational, like when I was into dogs”

PANEL 4: A panel split diagonally; on the top half is me, with a pyramid labeled, “Multi-Level-Marketing” flying in from the right side. The dialogue continues, “Ooh, maybe Linguistics! I’ve dabbled-”; The bottom panel is me being struck by the MLM pyramid, dizzy eyes appearing, along with action lines.

PANEL 5: a simplified drawing of me looking to the left, at the floating “MLM” pyramid. An arrow reading “evil” points to the pyramid. The caption reads, “ALERT: New Special Interest. YOU ARE INTO THIS NOW.”

PANEL 6: Me, working on a laptop with an Excel Pride sticker (a rainbow sticker for the Microsoft program Excel) on the back. I am picturing a pyramid in a thought bubble. The dialogue continues, “...OK.” There are screencaps to the right:

”This means that only 31 out of 3,906, or less than one percentage in the six-level chain, have as many as three levels below them and are profitable. More than 99% are unprofitable based on their position.” An arrow pointing to this, added by me, reads, “You WILL LOSE money $$” (Study by Robert Fitzpatrick)

“NEWS: Mary Kay, a feminist beneath all that pink. [by Devin Rose and Tribute staff reporter Chicago Tribute, Nov 28, 2001 at 12:00 am” with a caption by me, “bc they prey on predominately female sales reps”

AMWAY Public Income Disclosure (from their website): “In 2021, 33% of all U.S. registered IBOs had no reported sales, did not sponsor another IBO, and did not earn any compensation from Amway; 62% of all U.S. registered IBOs in 2021 received a payment from Amway in at least one month for sales that occurred during 2021. Of the IBOs who received a payment from Amway in one or more months here is what they annually earned before expenses: The Top 1% earned $87,901 (average) and $55,264 (median) The Top 10% earned $14,537 (average) and $4,645 (median) The Top 50% earned $3,414 (average) and $631 (median)” A caption by me reads, “Never join these”.

Along the bottom is a screencap of 17 open tabs relating to MLMs.

#why yes I do tell ppl abt them unprompted in detail #also the baby me isn't meant to be a ref to tbh necessarily. that's just how i looked #asd #actually autistic #me #about me #myart

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ghostboyjules · 2 years

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I posted 14,507 times in 2022

That's 4,532 more posts than 2021!

90 posts created (1%)

14,417 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@feraligatr

@lemememeringue

@cry-4-judas

@wantnothing

@hxh

I tagged 4,619 of my posts in 2022

#the sandman - 519 posts

#hxh - 305 posts

#dream of the endless - 234 posts

#dreamling - 215 posts

#my beloved mutuals ✨ - 144 posts

#hob gadling - 115 posts

#prev - 81 posts

#jjk - 80 posts

#killua - 53 posts

#gon - 48 posts

Longest Tag: 113 characters

#😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍

My Top Posts in 2022:

tagged by the ever iconic @hxh, thank you bestie :3c

rules: tag people you would like to know/catch up with

Last song 🎵 : Nothing Else Matters (Metallica Cover) by Phoebe Bridgers (I, of course, love the original as well but this is just gorgeous)

Last movie 🎬 : Everything Everywhere All at Once (if you have mother issues™, do not watch this until you are mentally and emotionally prepared. I'm fucked up. and will be so until the foreseeable future.) [thanks @wantnothing and @halflove 🙄]

Last book 📖 : hmmm.. I'm of the opinion that manga definitely counts, so like. technically Vol 14 of jjk, if we're talking physical. or like, the neat lil booklet that comes with my tarot deck 😅

okiieee I'm gonna tag @wantnothing and @halflove, if they wanna do it. since they have helped emotionally damage me 💀

I'll also tag @watermelon-mafia, @caprisun-overlord, @rabooots, @croakings, @queen-alluka, and @queen-eevee (woah that's two royalty in my mutual circle, love to see it ajfjsjfn)

y'all have a good day, and ily 💙😘

9 notes - Posted August 10, 2022

hi yes hello it's me again. so I'm working on my dream of the endless™~ playlist.. and I was looking through this BROODS album that I liked a lot and... just. just look at this.

uugghh Dream just being so overwhelmed after everything and going to Hob.. and Hob's just. Over the moon that Dream feels safe enough with him for comfort.. the bridge is especially destroying me cause like - of course Dream would beat himself up abt needing comfort in the first place and he can't stop thinking abt all that needs to be done and- AAHHH Hob just gently pulling him out of all that, if just for a moment...

I love fics with this premise and now I have a SONG to go with them???? I'm in shambles.

here's the song btw :

BROODS - Bedroom Door

10 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

hey um. i am genuinely so unwell about this song & dreamling

See the full post

11 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

beloved @hxh tagged me in this and I am not gonna lie this was kinda hard. mostly just because I'm v indecisive 🤦‍♂️ also this will absolutely say something abt me as a person, feel free to roast me abt it ajdjajfnf

10 characters, 10 fandoms, 10 tags

1. Megumi Fushiguro (jjk)

2. Cloud Strife (ffvii)

3. Kurapika (hxh)

4. Dream of the Endless (sandman)

5. Kaeya Alberich (genshin)

6. Ling Yao (fmab)

7. Thanatos (hades sg)

8. Shinobu Kocho (kny)

9. Allen Walker (dgm)

10. Mae Borowski (nitw)

okay okay stopping here before I change anything else 💀 I don't think I'm gonna tag a full 10 ppl, but we'll see sjdjfj

okay let's gooo @watermelon-mafia @croakings @caprisun-overlord @lemememeringue @eel-divinity @queen-alluka @queen-eevee @rabooots

almost but not quite 10, good enough for me 💀 ily my beloveds, hope everyone is having a pleasant time (if not I'm wrapping you in a blanket and giving you cookies okay gn)

14 notes - Posted October 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

It appears the last two (2)….times I’ve tried creating this post, tumblr thought I was too wordy, so I’m going to attempt to get in and get out before it eats itself again

this playlist (a Dream of the Endless™ character examination via my silly brain and sad ass music) took me entirely too long and I'm going to throw my laptop out of the window if I have to look at it any longer so pls pls take it and I hope that if you listen or even read the lyrics that you find something new, or hear something you like.

This absolutely would not have ever seen the light of tunglr.hell if not for the beautiful souls of the Sandman fandom, and a few of my new friends and mutuals. So special internet cookies and hugs to these inspirational, encouraging, and beyond talented individuals; @wordsinhaled , @weirdfishy , @wizardofgoodfortune , and @xx-vergil-xx - i love y'all dearly and I hope this is even HALF of what you would have expected, or a quarter of the amazing content y'all have bestowed upon my lil eyeballs. Now Onward! to words that personally injure me!

Florence + The Machine -Too Much Is Never Enough

And the crown, it weighs heavy

'Til it's banging on my eyelids

Retreating in covers and closing the curtains

One thing's for certain, oh

A year like this passes so strangely

Somewhere between sorrow and bliss

~I first encountered this song in it's source material FFXV, and there it destroyed me. Now, wearing my dumb lil blorbo glasses yet again, it is back with vengeance..goth royalty sad wet cat flavored (gross), vengeance. "too much is never enough" .... oh sweeties...

Oh, who decides from where up high?

I couldn't say "I need more time"

Oh, grant that I can stay the night

Or one more day inside this life

VIRA - God Complex

God, I could try

To be the one

I'll tear down the sky

What do you want?

I'll do it all for life

My love, my alibi

Tonight, tonight

I'll try to do it for you

~pretty sure this is the angriest sounding song on this thing? but it is fitting.. and desperate.. and wanting and... painful. when she grits out 'try' and 'sky' the way she does.. god the emotion. this just brought to mind Dream and falling for someone hard enough to the point of destructive devotion...

I'm gonna be where you are

Doesn't matter how far

Because we are meant to be

I'm gonna be what you need

Darling, please worship me

Unless you prefer to plead

AJJ - Body Terror Song

~ I love seeing people explore the idea of Dream just...not vibing with being fully corporeal. At least not in the way he is while in the Waking.. what a mood, and especially after the fishbowl...whew.

It will betray you

Be used against you

Then it will fail on you, my dear

But before that, you'll be a doormat

For every vicious narcissist in the world

Oh, how they'll screw you all up and over

Then feed you silence for dessert

Philip Wesley - Lamentations of the Heart

[Instrumental~]

~I wanted to include a few instrumental tracks in here and this one felt apt because I used to fall asleep to this album all the time. Like it was one of the only ones I could fall asleep to with any certainty. The feeling and title for this one tho struck me with Dream specifically so I went with it. The rest of the album is so nice though, highly rec.

Iris Lune - Paper Mache

~ this song!! it sounds so so ethereal and her voice is GORGEOUS but the lyrics!! have mercy the lyrics! big ole owwie! "save me from myself" , "make me believe that I can change, make me believe that I'm not strange" hhhh (also if y'all couldn't tell, this will be dreamling flavored, I think I'll tag them too jic but. yes...)

Save me from myself

I've been in the dark too long

Paper mache love

Make me believe that I can change

Make me believe that I'm not strange

At all

Penny and Sparrow - A Kind of Hunger

tremble, recognize the distance

Go try and murder every preference

I’ll keep hangin' ‘round for reference

come care about me

~this is... such a heavy song. hadn't heard it before starting this playlist but found it and immediately had to add it.. just. come care about me. changing, watching you with wonder. Dying is just a kind of hunger. that line specifically. -lays on the floor for 3hrs-

changing, watching you with wonder

you’re less and getting even younger

dying is just a kind of hunger

come care about Me

Carly Rae Jepsen - Gimme Love

~originally was gonna be a joke song to lighten the mood but haha! nope! I mean it is lighthearted but it still absolutely, in my mind, fits Morpheus. beautiful babygirl of the endless...smooch

Gimmie love (Oh)

It's the way we are together (Oh)

Wanna feel like this forever, forever (Oh)

It's the way we are together

And I never thought I'd ever say forever

Jon Bellion - Stupid Deep (Acoustic)

~this song fucks me up! 😀 for real though, I highly suggest watching the acoustic performance of this that he has on youtube cause the vibe is so.. intimate and dreamy and gorgeous.. and the lyrics.. jon bellion, sir.. smh.. the ending..

What if who I hoped to be was always me?

And the love I fought to feel was always free?

What if all the things I've done

Were just attempts at earning love? Yeah

'Cause the hole inside my heart is stupid deep, oh, stupid deep

See the full post

48 notes - Posted November 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#year in review #that longest tag 🤦‍♂️💀💀#anyway here's this mess ajdjakfkg #still so overjoyed tht ppl liked that dream playlist... I'm also v proud of it 🥺#jules.intothevoid✨#Spotify #for some reason did not realize that the year in review thing would tag everyone mentioned in it... again..#so I'm very sorry if your notifs are blown up by me 'mentioning' you ajfjsjfn #hopefully it's just a reminder that ily 🥲💖💖🥺#have a good day beloveds 💖

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gillianthecat · 2 years

Text

I posted 1,180 times in 2022

That's 1,179 more posts than 2021!

647 posts created (55%)

533 posts reblogged (45%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@gillianthecat

@lelephantsnail

@heretherebedork

@bengiyo

@absolutebl

I tagged 1,148 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#gillianthecat liveblogs bl - 207 posts

#gillianthecat reacts to bl - 132 posts

#reaction by gillianthecat - 105 posts

#the eclipse - 102 posts

#fahlanruk - 101 posts

#fahlanruk the series - 71 posts

#liveblogging fahlanruk - 67 posts

#thai bl - 61 posts

#big dragon - 59 posts

#love in the air - 57 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#i feel like i have but i think i'm just piecing together scenes from the trailer scenes from other movies and scenes from my imagination

My Top Posts in 2022:

One thing I love about The Eclipse is that it gives equal weight to its political allegory* and its queer love story. Both are important. Queer love is a political story, and the fight against authoritarianism is a personal one.

*and just straight up political story

105 notes - Posted September 3, 2022

See the full post

116 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

"All female fans of BL have a penis growing in our hearts." ~ Yamada, Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki Kun Desires To Be Recognized episode 2

178 notes - Posted October 10, 2022

He's my favorite. What is he doing? I have no idea. I never want to find out. I just want scenes of him doing random and increasingly bizarre things. That have no relevance to the plot.

Does he even have a name yet?

Apologies for the terrible quality. I have no idea how to make gifs and iQIYI wouldn't let me screen record. So this is literally me filming my laptop with my phone, as giffed by tumblr. But now you can find out what kind of laptop I have, if you really want.

203 notes - Posted September 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

looks like they heard us complaining that we didn't understand the layout of payu's house and decided to give us a tour

223 notes - Posted September 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#my 2022 tumblr year in review #not bad for not even 5 months of actually blogging #eclipse and lita got the top spots for notes #i did not realize i reblogged myself so much #or had posted more about fahlanruk than any show but the eclipse #and so many of you identified with the fujoshi’s motto #also what didn’t i tag? i thought i tagged everything #the eclipse #love in the air #sig my beloved #my stats #tumblr2022 #year in review #your tumblr year in review #oh i remembered!#longest tag was about wong kar wai’s happy together

8 notes · View notes

lawofcollage · 2 years

Text

I posted 259 times in 2022

That's 47 more posts than 2021!

186 posts created (72%)

73 posts reblogged (28%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@collagesofcollege

@writersarea

@funkyfaerie

@i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky

@notebooks-and-laptops

I tagged 181 of my posts in 2022

Only 30% of my posts had no tags

#mghartcontest - 144 posts

#queerworksfridays - 143 posts

#lgbt - 85 posts

#lgbt pride - 83 posts

#lgbtq - 83 posts

#lgbtq positivity - 83 posts

#lgbt pride flag - 79 posts

#queer - 59 posts

#queer pride - 48 posts

#queer pride flag - 32 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#i have gone through all of the well known ones at this point and have a small list going of those that someone has taught me

My Top Posts in 2022:

Before his death, Gilbert Baker made a new pride flag in 2017 with a lavender stripe at the top for the diversity of the community.

229 notes - Posted June 5, 2022

Inspired by our favorite queer pirates from Our Flag Means Death

277 notes - Posted April 10, 2022

See the full post

348 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

What about some teal oranges?

417 notes - Posted July 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Have you gotten your shots?

Vaccine design here. Booster design here.

556 notes - Posted January 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #pretty cool not gonna lie

6 notes · View notes

caltropspress · 1 year

Text

RAPS + CRAFTS #13: Algernon Cornelius

1. Introduce yourself. Past projects? Current projects?

I’m Algernon Cornelius, producer/rapper based in Manchester (UK). A lot of my early work consists of instrumental beat-tapes (which can be found on my bandcamp), along with collaborative works like Mortal Deck, as well as some side-projects like Philip K. Dickhead. I wrote my first rap in 1993 (co-written with my Dad tbf), but didn’t start writing properly until 2003. Around the same time I started producing by making pause tapes in a little cassette recorder and then by the same process but with cheap CD turntables into an Archos Gmini 402 mp4 player. I started using Cubase in 2005 and then moved on to Ableton in 2014.

Somewhere along this path I briefly let go of rapping to focus more on beat-making, that is until about 2016 when I made the song “Zero Hour Contract” (the vocals were recorded on a dictaphone). That return to writing was most likely sparked by hearing ELUCID’s Valley Of Grace record. I followed that up with another single: “Witchita”.

There are multiple stories you can choose to follow when you explore my discography. Perhaps the easiest route is through the rap time-line, which is as follows…

Neither Gloaming Nor Argent: Both Before And After The Dark (2020)

The Miraculous Weapons of Clarkus_Dark (2021)

Me No Sen You No Come (2022)

SEGUNDO (2023) NGNA is a compilation of singles I recorded before, during and after the making of MWxxCD (think 13 Songs by Fugazi or The Sagas Of… by Klashnekoff). MWxxCD is my debut album. MNSYNC is an EP, and SEGUNDO is my 2nd album.

2. Where do you write? Do you have a routine time you write? Do you discipline yourself, or just let the words come when they will? Do you typically write on a daily basis?

I wish I did write on a daily basis, but most of the time I just ponder about living my life being busy or procrastinating, until something hits me. Usually it’s one line that sounds interesting or funny to me. There have been times when I’ve tried to be more disciplined and write something every day. These bursts typically happen in the new year and then eventually fade away, in that respect being undisciplined is my discipline. But when it comes to it I can be anywhere. For this album specifically I went back home to the house I grew up in while my parents were away and just wrote for 10 days straight (probably helped that I got covid and couldn’t leave). I set everything up in the dining room and had the mic in one hand to record demos as I wrote with the other. I’ve never really written in that way before, but it was definitely good for me. Being alone, and having a mission, and knowing exactly how my voice would sound as I was writing. I can’t do that in my current living situation because I live with other people and I’m very self-conscious. I think being in a space I knew well and felt comfortable in really helped too.

I don’t write everyday, but ideas are usually always kicking around. I like to leave room for experiences to write about.

3. What’s your medium—pen and paper, laptop, on your phone? Or do you compose a verse in your head and keep it there until it’s time to record?

It used to be a pen and sheets of A4 white paper. Then it became lined notebooks. Then it was my laptop. In the past five years or so it has been in the notes app on my phone, and then typed up in a Google doc where it can be edited and refined. I can’t keep new lyrics in my head for long because they tend to metamorphosise into something else very quickly, so they have to be preserved outside the brain. I’ll then rehearse over and over until I know it off-top and it becomes muscle memory, because I would rather not be reading off something in the booth (that isn’t always possible with last minute rewrites). The best way is if I can play it live a few times because then I really get a feel for it and know what the energy is like and I have more confidence behind the flow, I know what the pockets should feel like.

4. Do you write in bars, or is it more disorganized than that?

Oh it’s very disorganised. But then again that can depend on the beat. Some songs encourage more free-form structure.

5. How long into writing a verse or a song do you know it’s not working out the way you had in mind? Do you trash the material forever, or do you keep the discarded material to be reworked later?

I think when I feel uncomfortable or cringe is when I know it’s not working. I know you have to kill the part of you that cringes but that’s 100 gecs' job. You really have to feel genuine with what you’re saying, and that’s an integrity that keeps you grounded in who you are as an artist. That gets a lot easier as you get older and you don’t have to put on a voice or adopt certain language.

My line of thinking is that it begins with a jump-off, so the first line is the provocateur. The attention grabber. Often this may not have anything to do with the rest of the verse, but it’s integral to getting to the rest of it. The big bang. In this way my verses probably tend to make more sense towards the end.

I try to keep everything, and this is why I would like to move back to writing on paper. I kept everything on paper. In a Google Doc it’s very easy to erase history. With SEGUNDO I tried to not be scared of the rewrite. I can be very precious about my work, but I had to give the mic to the voice that says “you can do better”.

6. Have you engaged with any other type of writing, whether presently or in the past? Fiction? Poetry? Playwriting? If so, how has that mode influenced your songwriting?

I have loved writing since forever. I was always writing stories as a kid and got a lot of encouragement from my English teachers at school. I still somewhat regret not taking English Literature at 6th Form (age 16-18 in the UK). I’ve been writing a lot more poetry recently and have sketched out some ideas for short sci-fi stories, and at some point want to go into script writing and learn to make films. I used to write about music a lot, for a few blogs and some larger platforms that shall remain nameless. I don’t know if that’s influenced my songwriting because rap is what got me into playing with language, so that informs everything else.

7. How much editing do you do after initially writing a verse/song? Do you labor over verses, working on them over a long period of time, or do you start and finish a piece in a quick burst?

I am trying to edit more. That was a key thing in the making of these last two records. I take ages to start things but once I get going it’s very quick, so it’s more like a stream of consciousness ting. You can end up trying to cram in too many ideas that way, and with SEGUNDO specifically I wanted to introduce more space in my rhymes, so I would cut some things to make that happen. Songs like “...AND THE LIVING” happened very quickly, but with “WHERE WE ARE” and “PLAGUES” there were several different versions I made until it sounded right. When something happens quickly I often have no memory of how it happened, it feels like it comes from another place (manic brain memory loss).

8. Do you write to a beat, or do you adjust and tweak lyrics to fit a beat?

I go through different waves. When I’m not writing for a project I just stream a load of bars out and have them all in a document. Most of the time these can’t fit to any of the music that I write, but I can nick certain lines that fit. “I Am Not The Moon” from Miraculous Weapons used a lot of lyrics from a couple of verses I wrote over a loop of The Wanton Song by Led Zeppelin when I was 18. I carry several verses around in my head that can’t really squish into a typical song format. I keep them there in case there was ever a situation where I got into a cypher and needed to prove something. As yet this has never happened, and may never will, perhaps this only happens in movies. I will just keep reciting them in the shower until that day comes. But when it’s for a project the beats always come first, so I’m gonna sit down and go through in sequential order and write like that. Doing it that way you’re carving out a route so the listener can follow your path (that is of course if they listen to albums front to back in one sitting and not on shuffle).

9. What dictates the direction of your lyrics? Are you led by an idea or topic you have in mind beforehand? Is it stream-of-consciousness? Is what you come up with determined by the constraint of the rhymes?

The music, first and foremost. That’s always the mood setter. That’s why the stuff I write without music tends to be more random and glitchy. In fact I have a load of stuff like this which I’m planning to release as a poetry book later this year called The Glitch and the Goof. But when I’m working on a record I make all the beats first and then sequence the album because it has to make sense musically, the instrumentals dictate the journey you’re gonna go on. Also whatever I name the instrumental when I export it, that usually informs the direction. I should probably be more careful with that. Although “Stress” was originally called “Night Goat” (after the Melvins song) and there was no mention of goats in that. There aren’t many of my songs that stick to one subject (Kool Moe Dee definitely would’ve scored me low for sticking to themes). On “DUNKEL” I do and that’s because of the sample, which is literally saying “dark” so that was the direction I gave Val and myself. “DECEMBER 25” is obviously one of the most focused theme-wise because I’m trying to tell a very specific story and it’s perhaps the most clear and personal I’ve been on a track. Funnily enough that song came about because I was working a temp job at a University and my fellow temp comrade (the only other black guy who worked there, it’s actually incredible they allowed 2 of us to work on the front desk at the same time now that I think about it), anyway we were chatting about white English reactions to diaspora foods, like having rice with your Sunday roast and how kids in school thought that was weird, but it was normal for us. We laughed about it and then I thought about it for a minute and wrote down “rice in my roast, what the whites will never know”. That’s the jump-off line right there. And as I already had the loop I wanted to sample for it in my head on rotation (it had been stuck in my head for almost 2 years), by the time I was on the bus home I just continued writing on my phone. The mood was already set and I just started thinking about this story I wanted to tell. I got home and immediately looped that shit up and then worked more lyrics around it, following the bassline.

In terms of being constrained by the rhymes, I think yes this can happen, but then it’s all about vocab and finding ways back home if you go too far out. The patterns you weave doing that can be beautiful. That’s like looking at a brain-scan create an Etch-a-Sketch. Having that constraint can pull out some wild juxtapositions and create a really interesting image.

10. Do you like to experiment with different forms and rhyme schemes, or do you keep your bars free and flexible?

Absolutely. I always think about Method Man, especially on his earlier records, where he basically switches up the flow almost every line. That’s the stuff that got me so excited as a kid. As a rapper you are just an instrument, so as you would with drums or a bassline or a keyboard, you can switch it up to take the song somewhere. It’s always about what’s best for the song for me. I don’t like to get too self-indulgent as an emcee. I am no better than the beat really, I’m part of an ensemble cast, and we’re all working for the song. I don’t tend to think about my rhyme schemes as methodically as I used to, perhaps because it comes more naturally to me now, but I remember for a while I was experimenting with reverse compound structures where the 2nd line would be close enough to a phonetic reverse of the previous line. I have a crude example from an unreleased song where I say: “High-hitting hats when I relapse into narcosis / Whenever I’m focused you can tell where I have been at with my hidden eye” Maybe I will go back to getting more scientific with ideas like this.

11. What’s a verse you’re particularly proud of, one where you met the vision for what you desire to do with your lyrics?

On SEGUNDO I think “DECEMBER 25” obviously because it took a lot for me to get there. I mean really that’s one of the reasons why it’s the last track on the album. I don’t think there’s been a time where I’ve listened back to that song and I haven’t cried, so it did what it was supposed to do. That was a similar case with “Adieu” from NGNA. “CLOY ROYSTER” because that’s probably the closest I’ll ever get to a true freestyle (I can’t freestyle for shit). The 2nd verse of “Tentative”, which originally I left open for a guest but then I ended up surpassing my own expectations (I originally gave the beat to R.A.P. Ferreira but then ended up using it on my album, then he came back with “No Word For Wack” which ended up on the Ruby Yacht album). ”Lightning Bolt” as well, that was a real one. I wrote the lyrics, made the beat, recorded it and then posted it on bandcamp maybe all within 2 hours. Extremely raw shit. (It’s called "Lightning Bolt" because that’s who I was going to see play a gig that night). That’s actually an example of where I wrote it all out on a piece of paper first and then made it fit to the beat, and I mean it helps that the beat doesn’t have any drums, it’s just six pads of noise. “Notes On A Native Sound” was written from a dream I had the same night I made the beat and I feel that’s maybe one of the most synergetic songs in terms of the music and lyrics. It all came out of two sides of the same trip.

12. Can you pick a favorite bar of yours and describe the genesis of it?

“Flexi disc under the x-ray / Mexican death day / Haters wanna flex I slip their disc and press play (…AND THE LIVING)

Like I don’t care if anyone rates that or not, for me it always makes me feel like this and that’s all I ever wanna do for myself. I had that line in my head for time, just a silly little boast innit? But with some very niche deep Wikipedia level references. Also me and my peers have very serious concerns about back pain. “Become a man before the onus is on the shoulders of the taurus / And the horns begin to grow again, blow through them / The tone of brass bones does not atone for intonation" (The Flood)

Men go a bit weird in their late 20’s, you ever notice that? This was sort of a way of saying check yourself before you wreck yourself. I used 3 zodiac signs for Miraculous Weapons; the Bull (Taurus), Snake and Crab (Cancer), and they all work as points of reference across the album. A lot of it is to do with ideas of fate, determinism and essentialism and trying to escape that (which actually I've just realised that’s at the core of most of my work). The titular Clarkus_Dark is basically the bad character (as Lord Quas might say). My dad used to have this Shofar in the house which I used to play with (he was a religious studies teacher) so that’s probably where I got that imagery. I also used to play trombone so there’s your brass bones, and you can hear some trombone at the end of “How Good’s The Funeral?”. It’s all tied together. Now that I think of it this was also one where I wrote the lyrics before the music and then made it fit afterwards too. Cat, who is the first person you hear whisper “SEGUNDO” at the start of the album, I wrote that in her living room in the middle of a crisis.

13. Do you feel strongly one way or another about punch-ins? Will you whittle a bar down in order to account for breath control, or are you comfortable punching-in so you don’t have to sacrifice any words?

Punching-in I have no qualms about. Like I said before it’s about what’s best for the song. There are cases when a punch-in can fuck up the flow, there are cases where cutting out a breath can make it sound too clinical. Just depends on what you want out of the recording. I’m getting better at editing stuff down in the writing so it’s about clarity and rhythm. I’ll preface this with the fact that I’m old enough where I’m going to use Big Daddy Kane as an example…but you know when you’re starting out you just wanna show off and fit as many syllables in a line as possible (yeah, like Big Daddy Kane)? Well when you play live you come to the compromise, because I have so much energy I need to get off I can’t be running about and do all that, especially as I get older. No matter how much I push I have to understand my body has limits, so then it becomes a choice of what you’re trying to give. Is it lyrical-miracle virtuosity? Or clarity? What is going to connect with your audience? Because at the end of the day that’s what you’re trying to do, you have to make a connection otherwise there’s no point.

14. What non-hiphop material do you turn to for inspiration? What non-music has influenced your work recently?

Definitely films. For SEGUNDO there were things about Spike Lee joints that informed the feeling in songs like “PLAGUES” and “CURRY MILE”, in particular his use of the double dolly technique. I wanted to do that with music. When I was writing I rinsed seasons 3 and 4 of Top Boy, the Andy Warhol documentary on Netflix, The Power of the Dog, Call My Agent! and Fast & the Furious 9. Obviously I’m not sure how that last one had any effect on me, but the hook in SEGUNDO was inspired by Basquiat in the Warhol doc.

I’d never really dipped that heavily into the work of David Lynch before, and I had wondered if it was just too late for me. Like is all the weirdo shit I already like just jacked from Uncle DL? But I saw Mulholland Drive for the first time and it shook me pretty deep, like really got right inside me in a very particular way that I don’t know how to put into words, and there’s not that many films that have done that. That kind of made me think differently about the structure of SEGUNDO and what it meant, because to be honest the meaning was missing for me for a long time and it felt like the process of making this album was almost in search of that, and then towards the end it started to make sense, but as if the answer had always been there. The lyrics to “SLOW WOUND” are mostly inspired by Mulholland Drive if you look closely enough.

I’m always inspired by food, I’m always thinking about that. It’s so tied to memory. Sometimes I can’t remember the details of a certain trip somewhere but I can tell you exactly what I ate and what it tasted like and how it made me feel.

A lot of SEGUNDO was inspired by nature. Again it’s about space but in many forms. The pandemic is what set that off, everything became still and empty, internally and externally. I was locked down in Manchester so I ended up taking huge walks out to anything that remotely resembled a bit of countryside, a park or a bit of woodland surrounded by a highway. I grew up right in the middle of the North Yorkshire Dales and Moors, there was so much expansive space there, your mind could just wander off into the distance. Can’t see shit for terrace houses here in Old Trafford, it’s like being trapped on the set of Coronation Street (I wrote this and then afterwards took a walk to the shop for some caraway seeds and the sun was beaming and the red bricks look so gorgeous in the light, so it’s not always so gloomy to be fair)

When some of the lockdown restrictions were lifted, me and my girlfriend’s first trip was to a remote converted farmhouse on the side of a mountain in North Wales. Some days you’d be trapped indoors because a huge rain cloud had engulfed everything, but on sunny days you could see as far as the Lake District and the Isle of Man. You’d set off on a walk and you’d maybe meet 1 or 2 people all day, unless you walked 5 miles to the nearest village pub. There were more wild ponies and sheep than people. That was a really important time for me where I could have the space to think while the music of SEGUNDO circled in my head.

Another trip like that was when we went up to the Scottish highlands (to stay with my girlfriend’s friend (Sarah Bernstein who is also a writer), again very remote. You’d wake up one morning and see a pod of dolphins making their way across the bay. It was in September so all the purple heather was in bloom. I was getting high just looking at all that purple, it looked like them Richard Mosse photographs of The Congo. That’s what inspired the autotuned part in CURRY MILE. It may have been born in south Manchester, and then settled in Snowdonia, but it grew wings in the highlands. I think there’s more of a nature sound on this record, it’s like halfway between the concrete streets and nature. Like there’s earth, air, ice, water, moss and a small fire trying to stay alight under it all.

15. Writers are often saddled with self-doubt. Do you struggle to like your own shit, or does it all sound dope to you?

I constantly have self-doubt. I’d argue that’s what keeps me in check, but if there’s too much of it it becomes a real hindrance. I love my own shit but I have had to work for it. I always think of myself as someone to whom rapping does not come naturally. First off I’m from this cursed island of britain, and not even the happening part. There was no culture where I grew up, you had to get it all from television and radio, or movies and magazines. I was the only person I knew who wrote raps or was even into Hip-Hop (apart from Joanne from school who also liked Dizzee Rascal). If I ever came across another rapper it’d be the white kids who were into spitting over Makina and New Monkey type beats. So what I'm saying is I’ve taken many years to find my voice, and being quite isolated from any sort of rap scene has been both a good thing and a bad thing. Maybe my sword would be sharper if I was dueling on the daily. Maybe it’s ok to be a quirked-up country boy curry goated with the sauce busting it down Supreme Clientele style (we’ll get to that later). Either way I've put myself out there on the line and learnt a lot.

When I was 15 I sent my first demo to DJ Excalibah who was doing the late night slot for underground and UK rap on BBC radio 1Xtra (he’s now an acclaimed theatre director), he gave me very honest constructive feedback. Something to the effect of the recording quality was bad (which it was) and I needed to work on my flow and my voice (tell me about it), but that my writing was up there with the best of them. That last part was enough for me to keep going. Meeting people like Moor Mother who was one of the first people to tell me she liked my voice really gave me encouragement to not doubt myself. I try to remember moments like this and do the same for others when they’re out here.

It’s also having good honest mates around you, like Claudia (featured on the final reprise of MAKE THE SUN tagged on the end of CLOY ROYSTER), she suffers from a rare disease where she cannot lie to people, so that’s helpful in knowing what’s good. When James from the band Yard Act started demoing stuff with me for Miraculous Weapons he made a few suggestions to change a couple of lyrics because they were too on the nose, and usually I’m really stubborn and defensive about stuff like that but I trusted his opinion and he was right to be fair. Trust the people that know you.

16. Who’s a rapper you listen to with such a distinguishable style that you need to resist the urge to imitate them?

Ghostface is my anchor. My all time favourite rapper. He gave me the blueprint for my style of free-association. I even did an art project in school based on his verse on "Daytona 500." Him and DOOM (and probably Pos from De La Soul) basically show up in my life when I’m 14/15 and show me how beautiful and fun language can be. So while I may not imitate them per se, they gave me a key to unlock something in myself to put my own spin on how I see the world. Another key rapper I would say is Danny Brown, and that’s mainly because he’s such an anglophile. He bridges the gap between Grime and American rap. He could do a whole album spitting over 140 bpm beats (I mean he does this so effortlessly over Benga’s "26 Basslines"). You can hear that influence on “WHERE WE ARE” for sure. I love Mos Def so much and that’s probably why I gravitated towards Mach-Hommy, it’s the tone and melody they bring. I’m one of those rappers who secretly wishes they were a singer. I’ve always been really big on Dancehall emcees with really gruff voices too. I started doing this growl which I mostly do live, which is partly inspired by more doomy sludgey bands, but you listen to BackRoad Gee and he’s doing something really interesting with it. I played with Sons of Kemet one time and while I was backstage I could hear Shabaka practicing his horn coming through the vent in the next room, and he was listening to drill music and playing along to it. That’s what it is, the voice is an instrument and he shows you that through his music, he’s playing certain lines and I’m immediately thrown back to my living room after school watching emcees on Channel U, he makes very specific references to certain grime flows.

I’d like to think that I have so many influences that they all get mangled together to form something different, or that my bad impressions become a new voice altogether, at least I hope.

17. Do you have an agenda as an artist? Are there overarching concerns you want to communicate to the listener?

At the most basic level I just need something to rap over. I feel something and I wanna say something, so I make something, and then I try to make you feel what I felt. Now with that comes connection, but also unintended misinterpretation. And really the latter is what keeps this whole ting spinning. Evolution is just endless mistakes. Failure upon failure until it works for the moment and then until it doesn’t again. Hip-Hop is all about the flip, not just in terms of flipping samples but shifting perspective, I hope I can do that in my own way to some degree. I also want to just show people how connected they are, bring people together that wouldn’t be able to otherwise. It’s mad when I think of all the people I know and how most of them don’t know each other. You just gotta be a node and keep vibrating higher innit.

RAPS + CRAFTS is a series of questions posed to rappers about their craft and process. It is designed to give respect and credit to their engagement with the art of songwriting. The format is inspired, in part, by Rob McLennan’s 12 or 20 interview series.

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simsinfinitylt · 2 years

Text

I posted 2,997 times in 2022

That's 2,824 more posts than 2021!

809 posts created (27%)

2,188 posts reblogged (73%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@simsinfinitylt

@wastelandwhisperer

@simstakay

@jimmybuffettsims

@plumbponette

I tagged 1,147 of my posts in 2022

#the sims 4 - 489 posts

# s4 - 253 posts

#the sims 4 screenshots - 184 posts

#sims4lookbook - 158 posts

# s4 lookbook - 150 posts

#sims 4 - 144 posts

# maxis match - 103 posts

#whimsy stories legacy challenge - 103 posts

#jonah bc - 96 posts

# s4 cc - 93 posts

Longest Tag: 104 characters

#actually i'm lying i haven't made the last one about myself cause i don't have my simself in this laptop

My Top Posts in 2022:

New...ish?? I've been on Simblr for 6 months now and never introduced myself, I'm sorry, how rude of me 😣

Hiiii my name is Ali, I'm 22 yo, she/her, I've been playing Sims since I was a kid and played every main game, even though I recently realized I never owned Sims 2 what I had was The Sims Life Stories but I'm pretty sure I did play the original one with my cousin 😅

In this blog, I will mainly do lookbooks, and a little bit of gameplay, right now I'm doing the Whimsy Stories Legacy Challenge Expanded and I'm on gen 8! I also have Sims Requests open so please feel free to ask me for some sims 🤗

And... that's it! Thanks for reading this far 😘

70 notes - Posted March 11, 2022

See the full post

70 notes - Posted January 25, 2022

WELCOME TO JONAH AVILA'S BACHELOR CHALLENGE

Meet the Bachelor

Jonah is born and raised in Sulani, he cannot imagine himself living anywhere else. He works as the bartender in bar next to the beach where he can show off his mixology skills and all the cool bottle tricks that have the boys and girls all crazy for him. He loves the attention and doesn't care to make a fool of himself to get it. When he is not working you can find him swimming on the beach the entire day. He was part of three Bachelor/Bachelorette Challenges where he obviously didn't win, he ended up being with good relationships with them all.

Now is his turn to find love!

Rules for submissions:

Jonah is Bisexual so all genders welcome!

Young Adults only

Humans only

You can give them skills but don't max any

As for CC: Maxis Hair only, CC only in the everyday category and skin details, the rest has to be with in game clothing, I have all the packs!!

NO SLIDERS!

Please your download must be less than 50MB

Add a little backstory for your sim

I will only take 7 sims on a first come, first serve basis and I won't save spots, you must post your sim to have a spot

Tag me in your post so I can reblog it!

Submissions open till August 21st

@ts4bachestate

71 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

Got the chance to style @arethabee sims!! These girls are ready to PARTYY

This was sooo much fun! 10/10 recomend!!

92 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

93 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #i really need to finish posting that Bachelor Challenge

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hongjoongscafe · 2 years

Text

I posted 2,434 times in 2022

That's 1,848 more posts than 2021!

549 posts created (23%)

1,885 posts reblogged (77%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hongjoongscafe

@jung-koook

@infected

@jeonjcngkook

@sanchelinz

I tagged 2,373 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#jjk - 528 posts

#sanaa's blah blah blah - 299 posts

#ateez - 214 posts

#ask answered - 182 posts

#jiminie - 159 posts

#ateez fluff - 130 posts

#ateez hongjoong - 106 posts

#ateez fanfic - 106 posts

#ateez angst - 106 posts

#hj - 106 posts

Longest Tag: 93 characters

#just tagging these so that more people can see this and reblog stuff related to this protest.

My Top Posts in 2022:

Stay with me

Part 10 {serieslist}

|In the police station|

Pairing: hamsterhybrid!hongjoong×reader

Genre: fluff, angst, smut.

Summary: she couldn't help but adopt the sweet and shy but stressed hybrid. Will he be able to open up?

Warnings: mention of rape and abuse.

Word count: 2.8k+

Masterpost

ATEEZ masterlist

*Do NOT repost, plz*

*GASP*

Your eyes shot open, the chest was heaving. It was getting difficult to breathe properly, your body covered in a cold sweat. You felt like your whole life fell apart.

The nightmare.

You remember opening the door and being welcomed by the weirdest heart-wrecking scene.

All of Hongjoong's stuff was neatly placed in the middle of the room. His phone, laptop, toys, clothes, shoes, canvas, paints, all the things which you bought for him.

Looking at the bed, you saw the open music box and the melody was playing. Under the box, a paper was peaking out. You picked the paper and unfolded it.

Dear owner,

Thank you for the fake goodness and kindness. I think I'm not deserving. You should find someone else for that. I think I'm too bad for your fake love. But in all honesty, thank you for the good food and the good mattress to sleep on. I hope you will feel less burdened that I'm gone now. Don't find me.

HJ.

Apart from this, you remembered calling Seonghwa. That's all your kind self could remember.

You looked around and found yourself in your room, under the sheets. Suddenly, your first instinct was to run and check if this whole was a nightmare. So you did.

You got up and took long steps towards Hongjoong's room. Opening to room, you found the same scene as you remembered. Tears slipped down your cheeks. This was not supposed to happen.

'Why would you leave? Who told you that my love for you is fake? What have I done? Come back, Joongie. Come on talk to me,' questions on questions were forming in your head.

All doubts in the world encircled you. Then you remembered your behavior of last night.

"Fuck!" You screamed.

That's it! You were the one who pushed the innocent hybrid away. You shouldn't have done that. You could have been more aware of his situation. But what's done is done.

"Love?" Seonghwa and Wooyoung rushed upstairs.

"H-Hwa... Woo-Woo," your breath shivered. "Where did he go? Why? Bring him back!" You cried.

Seonghwa and Wooyoung engulfed you in their embraces. They could feel the hurt and regret you were feeling. They knew how much you started to care for him, love him. It was difficult for them to see you crying.

See the full post

120 notes - Posted March 3, 2022

Short imagine...

9:37 PM (Ateez Hongjoong) (smut)

Warnings: pussy spanking, degradation

His face was in-between her thighs. Teasing her with feather-light kisses on the fresh bites he sculpted on her inner thighs.

"Please..." Her voice was breathy.

"Please what?" He blows his warm breath on her bare cunt.

"P-please touch me," she moaned.

"Bad girls don't deserve to be touched," she flinched and let out a broken moan when she felt a spank on her pussy.

"I-I didn't do anything!" She cried.

"Oh? Really? Should I tell you then? Hmm? How you were all over Seonghwa? I bet you would love to have his dick in your tight cunt. Right, baby? Is that what you want?" Spank.

"N-no," spank.

"How about you become our personal whore? For ATEEZ? I bet the other seven will enjoy having their dicks in your useless holes. Don't you think?" Spank.

"Sorry! Sorry, master! I won't go near them," spank.

"You better not," spank.

"But for now, be a good girl and suck master's big dick," spank.

125 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

Stay with me

Part: 7 {serieslist}

|In the moment|

Pairing: hamsterhybrid!hongjoong×reader

Genre: angst, fluff, smut(👀)

Summary: she couldn't help but adopt the sweet and shy but stressed hybrid. Will he be able to open up?

Warnings: blow job, masturbation.👀

Word count: 3.4k+

Masterpost

ATEEZ masterlist

The venue for the wedding was spectacular. The nice white-toned theme with floral decorations. The candle lamps hang beautifully above the tables. The centerpiece of the table, Persian buttercup flowers, looked so accurate. The smell of floral mixed with guests' perfume, added a much more weddingy feeling.

Hongjoong stood there adoring the sight. He came here with dad Jackson. Since you and Mumma Jane were supposed to get ready at the beauty salon.

He was taken back. The details and how everything looked so wonderful. There was a different vibe in the air.

"Ah! I have never seen such a wonderful wedding! Everything looks so beautiful," Wooyoung said but then he sniffed, "Oh! The food also smells good!" He giggled.

"Manners Wooyoungie," Seonghwa kissed his temple.

"Don't worry, Seonghwa. Let the young man enjoy..." Dad Jackson patted Wooyoung's back. "Wooyoung, you can eat as much as you want!"

"Thank you!" Wooyoung was so happy to be there. They both already started loving your family.

"Jackson, we are so happy to be here. Wooyoung is just so excited... Please don't mind his silliness, he is just a naive boy," Seonghwa side hugged his Wooyoung.

"Ah! No, Seonghwa. We already love him. Don't worry. He is a smart little guy," Dad Jackson cheered. "Oh look! My Jane darling is looking so beautiful and my little sweet potato, oh so pretty!"

Everyone turned where you and Mumma Jane were.

Hongjoong spotted you immediately. His mouth opened a bit. 'So pretty, marvelous, no! No word will justice her beauty' he thought. You just looked so gorgeous in that peachy shade full-length dress with fluffy sleeves. A little fluffy and frilly dress made you look like an angel. The matching heels and a loose messy bun with subtle makeup, oh god, just perfect.

"You look so amazing, y/n and Jane!" Wooyoung jogged towards them.

"Yes, you both look so adorable!" Seonghwa complimented. "And Jane, you don't look like a mother of two! So young."

"Right? She does look so young," Dad Jackson nudged Mumma Jane's arm playfully. "Now you believe? When I say you don't believe, but now you should!" Mumma Jane chuckled.

"Oky! Oky, I look young, happy?" They all laughed.

"Now we need to look after a few things, you kids enjoy!" Dad Jackson announced.

Seonghwa and Wooyoung went away to look at the beautiful place, that's what they said but in reality, they went away to give you and Hongjoong some privacy.

There was a beat of silence. Hongjoong's saucer eyes were admiring you and you took a good look at him. You realized that his necktie was of the same color as your dress. You remember showing Seonghwa the dress you bought. And Seonghwa was the one who took Hongjoong shopping. 'Smart, huh, Seonghwa' you thought.

"How do I look, Joongie?" You shyly asked.

See the full post

135 notes - Posted January 9, 2022

Blind Beauty

{one}{two}{three}

Pairing: blind!hongjoong×insecure! reader(grace)

Genre: fluff, angst, implied smut, nudity

Summary: only the mind's eyes can see the true beauty.

Warnings: DIALOGUES. otherwise, nothing for this part.

Word count: 8k+

Masterpost

Note: I know I said I'm on a break but I wrote this part a month ago. So, I'm just posting it. The next part will be out somewhere in the summers.

*DO NOT REPOST, PLZ*

"You bloody asshole!" The shrill voice yelling at someone caught her attention as she was walking out of the coffee shop.

It was a little above four in the evening. Her work finished earlier than usual. All of her days pass by her drowning herself in the work. She was a CEO, founder, and designer of a semi-luxury clothing brand, The Glorious. Taking some time off from routine, made her happy and relaxed. She planned the rest of the day perfectly.

"You just touched my $1000 Louis Vuitton purse with your filthy stick!" She yelled.

The shrill voice lady's $1000 purse was on the ground as she was lounging outside, enjoying her drink from the same cafe.

Her eyes fell on the man, who was standing there with a distant look on his face and a white cane in his hand.

"Hey, you!" She got the attention of that shrill voice lady. "What is your problem? Why are you harassing him?"

"See his filthy stick just touched my $1000 Louis Vuitton purse. Who even allows these blind people to get out of their poor houses!?"

"Enough! Your bag was on the goddamn ground. Which is more filthy but not more than your personality!" She answered back.

"How dar—"

"What? Huh? Do you even know what you are saying and to whom you are saying it? You spoilt rich assholes think so highly of yourself that you even forget that you are a human too! Shame on such a human being. You better apologize to the young man!" The shrill voice lady was shocked when she lashed out at her.

"N-no it's fine, really, no need to apologize," the man said.

"It might be oky for you, but not with me..." She gently said. "And you, what are you looking at? Say sorry and get the fuck out of here."

"Sorry..." The lady whispered, shaking in anger.

"You fucking say it or else I'm throwing your drink at your disgusting self!" She demanded.

"I'm sorry for harassing you. Oky!?" The lady grabbed her $1000 purse and got lost in the crowd.

She let out a deep sigh.

"Hey, I'm sorry about her. She shouldn't have said those things," she apologized properly on her behalf. "I don't know how people can be so insensitive!"

The man chuckled.

"It's fine, really. Her bag must be precious to her," he smiled.

"No, don't say that. Her bag can fuck off. She was mean for no reason and she didn't even apologize properly," she pouted. She was filled with humanity and kindness. It was so uncomfortable for her if someone would disrespect someone for no specific reason. So when she heard that shrill voice lady yelling at this fine man— he looks young by his face, though, made her boiling angry.

See the full post

152 notes - Posted February 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Iran protest.

I never ask for reblogs but this needs to be reblogged. I'm not seeing many reblogs or posts about this in my feed. Whatever is happening in Iran, needs exposure to more and more people around the world. In the name of religion and morality, an innocent lost her life. We can never even know how many people have already lost their lives in the past years.

They talk about morality but do the most disgusting thing. It shouldn't be "Morality Police" when they are moral-less themselves and beat an individual to literal death.

Nobody can tell you how you want to wear your hijab or if you wanna wear it at all. It's about respect from the heart. And it is great shame on the Iranian government for trying to hide everything.

I'll add more posts as I find them. If you have something to share, please do it or link other posts for me as well!

Note: I have attached more links in the reblog, look for them as well!