Y'all, I finally have a bra that fits me! I've never had one before because the store didn't carry them above DDD and we were scared to order online but finally we went and did an actual fitting and I can now say that at 16, I finally got my first actually fitting bra! And it's cute!
Like, I need something because I have like two years before I get out of my transphobic high school and start binding. If I have to be in the closet, I'm going to be comfortable, supported, and cute.
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When your uncle is super supportive but has no clue how to show it lol
Based on @bellflowering's headcanon about Hueso and Leo's relationship<3
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When I was ten, I asked my mom when most people's puberty ended. She said that hers ended around sixteen.
I would lay awake crying at night because I felt so wrong and upset with my puberty, and I used to repeat the phrase, "You can do this if you just survive until sixteen." For a while there, I was in such a bad place because the severe pain and dysphoria made me think I would actually die. I used to pray into the night sky that someone would save me, but after a while I just had to grow up quickly and save myself. It is by far the worst time of my life and I was left traumatized, I often mourn that loss of childhood.
I now recognize that I am transgender. Nothing about puberty felt right and it was because I was having to focus on a body that I couldn't see as mine. There was just so much distress that came with "growing up into a woman" that I would question how I could manage to live six more years.
It's always been a difficult journey, but I've been getting better. I know who I am now, I have words to describe my pain. Sometimes, I think of my younger self and cry. I just wish they could see me now.
I turn sixteen next week.
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