#transformers Jalopy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

timeagainreviews · 2 months ago

Text

Lux Makes My Heartbells Sing!

Growing up in the ‘90s, we were often shown depictions of cartoonish characters manifesting in real life. There was the cartoon “Freakazoid!” where a young child transforms into a crime-fighting cartoon man. In comics, we had “The Mask,” which was turned into a blockbuster film starring Jim Carrey. We also had Marvel Comics’ Slapstick, a superhero with the powers of a cartoon character. And, of course, in film, we had “Space Jam.” While there was an animation renaissance in the early 1990s, one contributing factor of this sudden interest in animation coming to life was the recent release of 1988’s “Who Framed Roger Rabbit,” which had infused animated characters into live action in a way never seen before. The concept of incorporating animation with live action was in no way new. It was seen as early as 1900 in the short film “The Enchanted Drawing.” Later, we saw the stop motion sequences of masters like Ray Harryhausen, where real actors fought swathes of animated skeletons, titans, and chimaeras.

But Roger Rabbit was different in that its cameras weren’t locked into place. Gone were the almost stagelike compositions we saw in “Mary Poppins,” where Dick Van Dyke dances in a bowtie and strawhat alongside four animated penguins. There are real cinematic compositions mixed with puppeteering and animatronics that married together seamlessly. It was enough to have damn near created its own genre, and I was at the perfect age to eat it up! So when I discovered Doctor Who had a story where the Doctor meets a real-life cartoon character and even becomes part of the cartoon world himself, I very excitedly bought my own copy of the Eighth Doctor novel “The Crooked World,” from eBay. Because even as an adult, I still love that concept. Then, several years later, they made “Lux.”

I don’t bring up “The Crooked World,” as a slight on Lux, quite the opposite. It’s clear that Steve Lyons saw something in Doctor Who that Russell T Davies also agreed with. Doctor Who is a show begging to do an episode like “Lux.” I harp on and on about how Doctor Who is a metatextual story wherein the mythology is often dictated by its own real-world limitations. Because of this, it’s developed a kind of maleability which allows it to take on genres like the Fifteenth Doctor trying on clothes. Experimentation and parody are part of the brand. It’s part of why Doctor Who is so appealing while simultaneously daunting to new fans. But it’s also why people like me side with “rad” in the “rad vs trad” debate. Doctor Who is meant to be radical because it’s not bogged down like other properties. What is Star Wars without the Sith? Where is The Dark Crystal without the Skeksis? Doctor Who can do away with Daleks and Cybermen invasions forever because it’s also a show where glowing skulls manifest golden goddesses, sailing barges drift through space, and cartoon men attain universal consciousness.

If you read Doctor Who Magazine, which I do (mostly for the comics), you’ll likely have been treated to the first appearance of Mr Ring-a-Ding and Sunshine Sally in the one-page comic eponymously titled “Mr Ring-a-Ding.” In it, Mr Ring-a-Ding helps the Easter Bunny deliver eggs in his cartoonish jalopy. It’s very festive and timely, with it having just been Easter. But the part that stuck out to me the most was Mr Ring-a-Ding’s first utterance of “Don’t make me laugh.” Not because it reminded me of “The Giggle,” but rather how Eddie Valiant gains the upper hand in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit,” by making the nefarious cartoon weasels laugh themselves to death. Whether or not this was a direct reference to Roger Rabbit, I don’t know, but it was enough to give me hopes that the story would do right by its own premise.

The second RTD era has introduced us to some new tech. First with intelligent gloves and rope, and now the “vortex indicator,” or “vindicator,” as the Doctor calls it. As Doctor Who gadgets go, I love the vindicator. The notion of using a beacon to latch onto points in time like a grappling hook is so tactile and chonky. It feels like the same Doctor who flew the TARDIS onto a busy motorway with a piece of twine. It’s brilliant, but practical. The Doctor has been forced to use this mode of travel because the TARDIS keeps bouncing off of the 24th of May like a game of pickleball. Belinda, while still wary of the Doctor, seems to trust that he’s not just yanking her chain about getting her back home. However, she doesn’t want to go home so fast that she would pass up the chance to see Miami in 1952.

The usual crybaby wankers were up in arms about the Doctor and Belinda talking about the real life practice of racial segregation in public places in America. Evidently, it’s woke to mention the existence of real-world racism as it applies to the Doctor and Belinda’s safety. Yet you never hear anyone complain when Martha or Bill spoke on the subject. I guess that’s where we are in the world. And like the Doctor, I wait for people to topple that world. “Until then, I live in it and I shine,” - words I needed to hear after a week where the UK Supreme Court declared I’m no longer a woman but a secret third thing. You may ask how someone like me can keep talking about Doctor Who when the world is like it is, but Doctor Who is part of why I am here. Art and expression sustain us. The Doctor’s words helped me forget the real-life super villain smoking cigars on her yacht. That feeling lasted until watching “Doctor Who Unleashed,” and hearing Ncuti Gatwa platform Harry Potter. It’s easy to see why the Doctor Who Instagram account chose to highlight his comments about Pokémon instead.

The conversation of race felt less like a morality tale and more of a history lesson for kids who may not know about racial segregation. It doesn’t really become the plot like it does in “Rosa,” and ironically, I feel it’s more effective. That said, it doesn’t say much on the subject other than “this happened.” The only time racial tensions truly come up in the story is when Lux is trying to fool the Doctor with another illusion. For the most part, the people of Miami seem almost eager to bend the rules. I like this depiction because it’s one often over-looked in these situations. The world would like me to see cis people as suspicious, but I see acts of kindness and acceptance from them every day. It’s important that we see the “Dot and Bubble,” side of racism as much as the “Lux,” side as well. There are people out there who want to share space with people different from them because the world is better when we do.

“Lux” plays out much like an episode of “Sapphire & Steel.” Two time travellers show up, one flamboyant and one stern. They spend their time in a single location trying to save fifteen lost souls from a mysterious “haunted” movie theatre. It’s as though P.J. Hammond was in the writers’ room. Previously, I had compared the reluctant companion role of Belinda to Doctor Who’s first human companions, Ian and Barbara. However, due to this dynamic, we see aspects of the First Doctor in the Fifteenth Doctor’s desire to explore obvious danger despite the protests of his human friend. It restores in the Doctor a bit of his mercurial wiliness that we’ve lost with gung-ho companions. It’s nice that Rose is ride-or-die, but Belinda’s sober attitude has a grounding effect when the stories start to introduce giant robot incels and blue talking cartoon pig bugs.

The Pantheon is back with another God of Chaos in the form of Lux Imperator, the God of Light, as voiced by the the brilliant Alan Cumming. After surfing a moonbeam through the Palazzo Theatre’s skylight, the glint off of a tack shines his essence into the projection beam of a Mr Ring-a-Ding cartoon. Lux has been given life in the form of this capering cartoon icon. His perspective towers over the audience as he reaches out of the screen into the dark. I was reminded in more ways than one of the friendly Stay Puft Marshmallow Man chosen as the means of mankind's destruction. After witnessing Lux vanish the audience onto celluloid, the theatre owner, Reginald Pye, keeps Lux at bay by screening reels throughout the night. Or perhaps Lux keeps Mr Pye at bay by manifesting a film reel of Mr Pye’s late wife, Helen, back from the dead. Both of them are stuck in a loop of fear. Mr Pye afraid to let go of the past. And Lux afraid to step out of the darkness into the light. My only question is what the hell was Mr Pye eating for three months? Popcorn?

After 37 years of technological advancement, how does Lux compare to Roger Rabbit? The choice to continue using hand-drawn animation was obvious. You can’t have Mr Ring-a-Ding looking like an animated reconstruction. He needed to look the part of a classic cartoon and he does. They even hired an animator who worked on Roger Rabbit, who I am sure was a font of knowledge. The static cameras we saw in “Marry Poppins,” compose many of the shots with Mr Ring-a-Ding. However, this feels like more of a directorial choice than a limitation. Many of the shots in the theatre are framed like a stage play. They’re calling attention to the artifice of theatre to call attention to how we, the audience, consume media. More on that later. The only time I was ever actually disappointed by the animation was when the Doctor and Belinda are turned into cartoons. I loved their Scooby-Doo aesthetics, but the sequence was little more than a trailer moment. Had I known this was about as far as they were planning to take this concept, I would have preferred they not put it in the trailer. I’m reminded of the time they announced the return of the John Simm Master instead of letting us be surprised by it. Hell, even the thumbnail is them as cartoons on iPlayer.

Had it not been for the stellar animation of Mr Ring-a-Ding, I would have felt stronger about the cartoon Doctor and Belinda being cut so short. It would have felt like they wasted a good concept on poor execution. As it stands, this may be some of the best animation in Doctor Who history. And I do still feel like they wasted a bit of the potential for some animated Doctor hijinks, but RTD had other plans. Hijinks would have gotten in the way of possibly Doctor Who’s most meta storyline to date- the Whovians. After breaking out of the 2-D space by gaining a bit of depth through vulnerability, the Doctor and Belinda find themselves in a white void, the visual of a film lens flooded with light. Our heroes try to break out of the film by forcing the frames of the film to advance. Davies even sneaks in a line about needing to stop scrolling and go outside. Which is really the theme of this episode. How we take in media extends into how we live our lives.

The Doctor and Belinda find themselves in the living room of three avid Doctor Who fans- Lizzie, Hassan, and Robyn. This is Davies calling us, and by extension, himself out. It’s also a love letter to the fans. Sure, they’re opinionated and annoying, but they also made friends through their love for Doctor Who. One of my favourite moments in this scene was the jump cut to the Doctor lounging on the couch while the Whovians geeked out around him. The Doctor once claimed to be a Sagittarius, but this is total Leo behaviour. I found myself thinking of the Fourth Doctor, whom I imagine would also relish in a bit of fan worship. He even had a cup of tea! It was such a cute attention to detail and I’d be hard pressed to think of a single Doctor I couldn’t see allowing themselves a moment of ego stroking. The living room set is full of fun Easter eggs for nerds like myself to scour freeze frames like a Doctor Who edition of an I Spy book. Davies pulls back on the meta by positioning the Whovians as the fictional characters and the Doctor and Belinda as real. It’s another illusion created by Lux. The fans get to save the Doctor by helping him break from the illusion. The Doctor and Belinda burn their way out of the screen.

Having the Doctor repair his hand with some excess bi-generation energy was a bit silly. It’s really only there to reveal regeneration energy to Lux. What’s funny is this is now part of regeneration lore. So have fun with that, wiki editors. It’s also interesting to note that the Doctor has firmly continued to refer to himself as a Time Lord. He reveals these things to Belinda throughout the episode. I love Belinda’s early days reactions to the Doctor. She gasps when she sees him use the sonic screwdriver for the first time. And she sighs at the ridiculousness of introducing the Doctor as “the Doctor.” I find myself all the more endeared toward her. I hope she and the Doctor continue referring to one another as Fred and Velma, respectively.

Lux sees the Doctor’s regeneration energy as the ultimate light for a God such as Himself. With it, he can grow a real body. Parts of this story felt like a rehash of “The Devil’s Chord.” Only instead of it being Ruby tied up by snakelike lines of music so a God can steal her essence, it’s the Doctor tied up by snakelike rolls of film so a God can steal his essence. They could have avoided this by having Lux manifest a couple of Sunshine Sallies to hold the Doctor within the beam. When he says “Go get ‘em, girls!” it’s what I actually expected to happen. The snakey film reels were still cool and had I never seen “The Devil’s Chord,” I wouldn’t have thought twice. I really enjoyed the attention to detail by giving Lux a cartoon heart in the x-ray shot of his chest soaking in the regeneration energy. It’s the details that make this episode work so well. There is a loving hand at the helm.

It’s up to Belinda to save the Doctor now. Remembering that celluloid is highly combustible, she heads to the projection booth to blow a hole in the roof. But Mr Pye with his nicotine stained fingers won’t give up his matches, especially not to let Belinda blow herself up. He’s spent to long pining for the image of his dead wife. His best chance to see her again is by searching the undiscovered country. The ghostly apparition of Helen is giving Lady in the Radiator vibes as she assures Reggie that in Heaven, everything is fine. In fact, a lot of this episode reminded me of the works of David Lynch. The theatre gave “Part 8,” of the Twin Peaks revival where Helen also made a fine stand in for Seniorita Dido. And the image of Lux fading into the universe evokes the ending of “The Elephant Man.” Joseph Merrick’s consciousness floating into the stars as his mother’s face welcomes him, saying “Never. Oh, never. Nothing will die. The stream flows, the wind blows, the cloud fleets, the heart beats. Nothing will die"

The “death,” of Lux was like something out of eastern philosophy. The idea of losing all identity by becoming everything in totality was both tragic and beautiful. What is complete ego death to a God? Is it odd that this felt less like Lux dying or even being defeated, and more like the natural cycle of his life playing out? It’s curious that as he’s absorbing regeneration energy, Lux becomes more complex, and very possibly, more deranged. But as he begins to soak up the light of the sun, he returns to his 2-D state. The Doctor mentioned that being 2-D gave you two dimensional thought. On a less complex and fundamental level, Lux yearns for the light. Perhaps this is why he lost dimension. His nature is simply to shine.

Other than the late Reginald Pye, this is one of those “Everybody lives!” moments. The patrons of the theatre have returned to their families with little memory of being captured to film. Even our Whovian friends become more than characters that don’t merrit last names. The credits see to it that we know their names are Lizzie Abel, Hassan Chowdry, and Robyn Gossage. The implications of this on the greater Whoniverse are yet unknown. It wouldn’t be the first time Doctor Who has broken the fourth wall or even met fans. They’ve done this storyline multiple times in the comics. However, having characters who know the world of Doctor Who exist within Doctor Who could get interesting. Just look at Marvel’s Gwenpool, a superhero from our universe. Her knowledge as a comic book fan gives her an edge in their world. Lizzie, Hassan, and Robyn are living in what is basically a Doctor Who isekai.

All of this meta fourth wall-breaking points directly at Mrs Flood. I’ve seen fan theories that the three Whovians are secretly the Gods of Ragnarok and that Mrs Flood is some sort God of Fiction. Perhaps she has the ability to cancel Doctor Who. It would make sense when you consider she says the show ends on the 24th of May. But if you’re paying attention, you’ll notice that while the 24th is a Saturday, it’s only episode seven. The show goes on beyond. This gives further credence to theory that Doctor Who cancellation rumours are actually a clever tie-in with this Mrs Flood storyline. In the same manner that regeneration addressed the real world change of a lead actor, Mrs Flood addresses the real world threat of Doctor Who’s cancellation. Mrs Flood is like a sort of all-powerful Mary Whitehouse, hellbent on putting an end to the Doctor’s story.

I said at the beginning of season two that I found it odd that they would film season two of Doctor Who before season one had even aired. However, I am now wondering if it’s not so they could leave themselves enough room to plan for season three to start filming at the end of season two. After all, we still have “The War Between the Land and the Sea,” coming. It would be weird to cancel a show they’ve put so much time and effort into. Can you imagine the sad state of airing a spin-off to a show that just got cancelled? Furthermore, Disney+ recently revealed that Doctor Who was it’s number five most watched series last year, which is pretty good for our beloved show. The BBC also stated that Doctor Who is among one of its top earners across their entire media empire. Is RTD so bold that he would use cancellation as a marketing ploy? It’s a risky one for sure. On one hand you could get more people watching, on the other hand, it could scare off would-be viewers who see it as a testament to the show’s overall quality. Are we living through a second Cartmel era where the show is facing cacellation just as it’s starting to get good again? I certainly hope not.

The real question about all of this metatextual storytelling is why now? When Russell T Davies returned to the program, the fandom was scattered. While the Chibnall era brought in new blood, it hemorraged old viewers. Going by this week’s ratings, that trend continues, which is odd considering everyone I have spoken to loved “Lux.” RTD seems interested in opening up a dialogue with the fandom about some of our more toxic traits. Sexism, racism, homophobia, ableism, all and more have been explored these last two seasons. Maybe he hopes to change some minds, or maybe he’s saying “We don’t need those types of fans.” You can sit alone in front of your keyboard banging out screeds against “Doctor Woke,” or you can come out of the darkness into the light. Like our meta Whovian counterparts, Doctor Who has the power to bring us together. Does it give me hope? Yes it does, sir.

68 notes · View notes

thesims4blogger · 4 months ago

Text

The Sims 4 Expansion Packs 2025 Survey: New Official Themes!

A brand new The Sims 4 Expansion Packs Survey has surfaced the internet, revealing seven intriguing themes that EA and Maxis are considering for development. To our surprise, there are THREE Sims 4 Expansion Pack themes which revolve around Cars and Mobile Vehicles.

The Sims 4 Ocean Exploration

“Live at the sea shore and breathe in the cool, misty air each morning in your fully-equipped houseboat. Take a long stroll on the beach, seeking small, metallic valuables with your new metal detector. Make crafts with driftwood, sea glass, and other trinkets. Embark on your vessel as a sea captain, hunting for crabs and lobsters, or chartering your boat for sightseeing, whale watching, fishing, and scuba diving trips.

Delve deep as a master diver in vibrant marine ecosystems, brimming with life, while making new discoveries, like hidden treasures and ancient secrets. Catch lovely fish and other creatures to populate a new aquarium venue. Bring your finds to the surface and exhibit your skills in art and artifact restoration. Display the rare items to your museum, sell them at auction to the highest bidder, or even negotiate trades with shady antiquities dealers.”

The Sims 4 Community Careers

“Welcome to a charming world built around community and neighborhood antics where Sims embrace exciting new active careers!

Tour the local fire station and learn preparedness skills, or become a Firefighter / EMT, tackling neighborhood emergencies like fighting fires, rescuing stranded pets from trees, or freeing a toddler whose head is stuck in a stair railing. Enjoy the comforts of the station with fellow firefighters until a call comes in, then gear up, ride out in a shiny firetruck, and be ready for anything because whether your Sim is braving the career or the one calling for help, there’s never a dull moment when the alarm bells ring!

When the kids come home with gum in their hair, get out the shears to practice home haircuts before opening a professional salon. Expand offerings with luxury shaves, advanced braids, and custom wigs as the shop goes from a gossip-fueled salon to the cornerstone of sage advice and transformational style.

Open a dentist office for teeth cleanings, x-rays, and extractions. Level up to specialize in creating perfect smiles from braces to new teeth to a shiny grill. From replacing lost dentures or fixing a cracked tooth from a schoolyard brawl, the dentist always saves the day! Patients leave with a smile and a lollipop to ensure return visits.

With each career, Sims can choose to give back to the neighborhood, build up community skills, and discover the day-to-day lives of the locals, whether on the job or unwinding at the neighborhood barbeque.”

The Sims 4 Car Life

“Enter the ultimate pack that weaves cars into the day-to-day stories of your Sims! Start by sparking kids’ love for cars with playful collectible toys and a mini mechanics toolbox. Express imaginations while racing RC cars and playing with epic toy car tracks. Join an afterschool gearhead club, or climb into the racing arcade simulator and go head-to-head against friends.

Send your teens to driving school so they can get their license and gain independence with their first car, with every choice reflecting your Sim’s personality and aspirations. Enjoy a movie at the drive-in theater with friends and family or share intimate moments at a scenic overlook under the stars with your sweetheart.

Send your Sims off to work as gig worker, car salesperson or professional race driver, or take on an active profession as a mechanic working at the local garage. As your Sims grow their income, elevate their status with celebrity limos & luxury cars.

Whether they’re pretending to drive the couch or fixing up a broken down jalopy, every Sim can find their dream ride. Get ready to fuel your Sims’ passions with their dreams to drive and explore the world of cars in The Sims like never before!”

The Sims 4 Work on Wheels

“Celebrate the spirit of community and innovation, and make every neighborhood come to life with mobile businesses, where your Sims can explore dynamic careers on wheels. Transform an old truck into a thriving mobile business—be it a food truck, mobile salon, or even a party bus!

Customize and upgrade your vehicle inside and out with your unique flair to stand. Host or participate in lively festivals, collaborating with local events to boost your brand. Navigate real-world challenges like vehicle maintenance, the needs of demanding clientele, and fierce competition. What will you do to gain the edge: Boost your skills, undercut prices, or sabotage your rivals?

Inspire the little ones, with a Kids Mobile Truck Playset, spark creativity and fun. Recruit your teen to work the register or spin a sign for some free marketing. Whether you’re crafting gourmet menus, styling hair on the fly, or bringing the fun to town with party bus, every day offers new adventures and storytelling opportunities.”

The Sims 4 Reality TV

“Enter the world of reality TV as a contestant! Sims must survive the social dynamics of being in competition with others strong personalities to win a large Simoleon prize and notoriety.

While on the show, Sims complete challenges, stoke drama, and can form alliances. Each challenge is a chance for Sims to discover something about themselves, whether a new perspective on life to an unexpected allergy. Keep Sims on their toes and put their skills to the test through baking challenges, physical trials, and social experiments. Each week your Sim earns points based on challenge outcomes and audience approval rating. Will your Sim come out with lifetime friendships, arch nemeses, or a new sense of self? Find out!”

The Sims 4 Suburban Living

“In the heart of suburban life, every day is an adventure in work, play, and a greener lawn than your neighbor! Unleash your potential at a trade school, learning to be a cosmetologist, auto mechanic, truck driver or become the ultimate house-spouse with top-notch homemaking expertise. Imagine owning a gas station and mechanics shop where you fix up cars, trucks, and motorcycles with your skills and unique flair. After a bustling day, grab a quick bite from the fast food drive-thru. When the weekend arrives, will you kick your feet up in your plush recliner or tackle that ever-growing to-do list? Teach your teen auto repair in the driveway or share laughs and drinks with neighbors. Maybe you’ll finally mow that wild lawn (or hire the kid next door), much to the delight of the nosy neighbor! Send your teens to work as a fry cook, babysitter, tutor, car washer, or a lifeguard at the community swimming pool.

But how well do you really know the neighbors? What’s hiding behind the seemingly idyllic façade of suburbia? Societal pressures may lead to dark secrets, hidden relationships, and even criminal activities. Will you shake the foundation or help maintain appearances in this dynamic suburban playground?”

The Sims 4 Van Life

“Embark on a thrilling journey of self discovery and freedom! Jump into your fully-customized dream travel van and explore breathtaking destinations. Experience whimsical adventures as you meet fascinating people, swap stories, jam on new musical instruments, and share crafts and delicious recipes. Whether you’re at truck stops or campgrounds in vibrant national parks, you’ll encounter intriguing folks everywhere—even on the roadside when you pick up a friendly-looking hitchhiker.

Embrace the minimalist lifestyle on the road: tackle challenges like refueling, fixing a flat tire, or testing your mechanic skills with a roadside repair. Imagine waking up to a new, stunning location every day, like quiet beaches, perfect for serene paddle boarding and surfing. Whether you’re traveling with your partner, family, friends, or going solo, hitting the road will weave rich, generational tales as you live freely and celebrate your wanderlust.”

#news #the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 survey

31 notes · View notes

mychlapci · 15 days ago

Text

jalopy the transformer with his rancid stinky pussy will always mean everything to me. i have been a fan of jalopy the transformer for years now.

12 notes · View notes

wheelsgoroundincircles · 2 years ago

Text

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

12.16.1968

"Chitty Chitty Bang Bang", the British musical film loosely based on Ian Fleming's novel "The Magical Car" was released. Roald Dahl wrote the screenplay with Ken Hughes. In England, circa 1910, eccentric Caractacus Potts (Dick Van Dyke) works as an inventor, a job which barely supports himself, his even more eccentric father, and his two children, Jeremy and Jemima; but, they're all happy. When the children beg their father to buy for them their favorite plaything, a broken down jalopy of a car sitting at a local junkyard, Caractacus does whatever he can to make some money to buy it. Applying his inventing skills, Caractacus transforms the piece of junk into a beautiful working machine, which they name Chitty Chitty Bang Bang from the noise its engine makes. At a seaside picnic with his children and Truly, Caractacus spins a fanciful tale of an eccentric inventor, his pretty girlfriend, his two children, and a magical car named Chitty, all involved in the faraway land of Vulgaria. The child-like ruler Baron Bomburst, ruler of Vulgaria, will do whatever he can to get his hands on their magical car; but, because of Baroness Bomburst's dislike of children, youngsters are outlawed, even the unsuspecting offspring of foreign inventors of magical cars. The film was directed by Ken Hughes and produced by Albert R. Broccoli (co-producer of the James Bond series of films, also based on Fleming's novels). Fleming took his inspiration for the subject from a series of aero-engined racing cars called "Chitty Bang Bang", built by Count Louis Zborowski in the early 1920s at Higham Park. This photo of the movie car was taken at the National Motor Museum at Beaulieu in England during a 2022 visit.

#car #cars #movie #movie cars #ian fleming

38 notes · View notes

where-the-flash · 1 year ago

Text

"The Golden Touch": Walt Disney's Actual Folly

Have you ever been tempted to own DVD sets, not strictly for their contents, but for the appeal of their packaging and presentation? Have you ever been tempted to own DVDs that were enclosed in a sturdy aluminum tin case, like they emerged from a cold vault buried thousands of feet beneath the earth's crust? Have you ever been tempted to fool your fellow schoolyard chums by placing these tin jalopies in a mini fridge and handling them with sterilized tongs like they were ancient jade necklaces that you sold on the black market? Have you ever been tempted to wave the DVD's 'certificate of authenticity' in some stupid nerd's face and tell them this is only one out of a limited 150,000 copies?

These hypothetical queries were directed toward myself and I answer all of them with an emphatic "Yes"!

These DVDs that I am belaboring-ly alluding to are the Walt Disney Treasures. The brainchild of film critic/perpetually well-groomed beard-man Leonard Maltin, the Walt Disney Treasures were a collection of historic (and even rarely seen) Disney content. It covered pretty much all the bases: old Mickey Mouse cartoons, World War II propaganda, and TV shows like The Mickey Mouse Club, Walt Disney Presents, and Davy Crockett.

One of these Walt Disney Treasures DVD sets that I owned and (I suppose) cherished were the Silly Symphonies, the musical-oriented Disney shorts that were made between 1928 to 1939. Beside the fact that these shorts were delightfully frothy bon-bons made for quick consumption, they were a sort of experimental testing ground for future Disney productions (Disney's ground-breaking work with the multi-plane camera would prove useful in their first full-length animated feature Snow White and the Seven Dwarves). They also provided a refreshing diversity of form and style. Audiences in the 1930's probably wanted a change of pace from the Mickey Mouse content they were subjected to monthly at the local movie station house.

(This is my copy of the Silly Symphonies DVD set, though I seem to have inexplicably lost the tin case, unfortunately exposing its contents to all manner of elements, including that red pepper flake lodged between the doubles L's in SILLY.)

I'd spent many hours watching Silly Symphonies as a young child and I've been revisiting them recently just to see if they still retain their, shall we say, symphonic silliness. And as I was watching old King Cole prattle on about how he was, indeed, a merry old soul and how a merry old soul he verily was, I reflected on how I use to frequently spin the Silly Symphony disk on the DVD turn-table and I suddenly remembered the first short I would watch as the needle dropped onto the disk, and that short was The Golden Touch. And, frankly, I'm not sure why. There were definitely better shorts than The Golden Touch, both visually and musically. But why did I gravitate toward this one, so much so that it was a first priority watch? Was it simply an aperitif before the main entrees of, say, a Music Land, or a Three Little Pigs, or a Who Killed Cock Robin? Or was it more than that?

The Golden Touch is an adaptation of the Greek myth of Phrygian monarch Midas (the son of Gordias, inventor of the most excessively over-tied rope knot in antiquity), who makes a wish, to the Greek deity Bacchus (also best known as Dionysus), that everything he touches transforms into a yellow-orange-colored soft metal with an atomic number of 79 (Midas is granted this request after he saves Dionysus' drunken satyr of an adviser, Silenus...actually, that's a lie....Midas found him passed out in his rose garden and politely drove him back to his Bacchic abode; no harm, no foul....at worst, a speck of vomit on the rose petals). Midas revels in his new gift, but later has the harrowing, if not unsurprising, revelation that comestibles of any kind can turn into gold as well. Unless his stomach doubles as a foundry furnace, he can't very well pass gold through his digestive tract and get any meaningful nutrients out of it. Fed up with this inconvenience, Midas decides to wash his hands of the whole thing...literally washes his hands in the Pactolus River and that's it.

That's the original version recounted by Ovid, author of the Metamorphoses (according to Edith Hamilton in her landmark 1942 text Mythology). It wasn't until Nathaniel Hawthorne came along that the fable developed a tragic angle by giving Midas a daughter that he accidentally turns to gold (from his 1852 children's book A Wonder-Book for Girls and Boys). For the purposes of brevity and a desire to not be a harsh vibe-killer for ten minutes, Walt Disney chose to stick to the safer self-preservation angle of the original.

The myth is iconic in its own right. The name "Midas" is synonymous with irresponsible, unchecked greed and its consequences....wait, is it? "Having the Midas Touch", is a common phrase that, ironically, obfuscates the tale's cautionary moral with a more generic definition of easy success. There's even a company named after that greedy bastard that installs car mufflers and they tell us to "trust the Midas touch."

I guess we haven't learned anything from this myth, have we? My guess (I almost said "theory" but that would imply that I'm smart) as to why there's still so much greed in this world is that there haven't been any real substantial King Midas adaptations in popular culture. How can we learn when the masses have not been exposed to this important myth by way of a giant, money-making blockbuster? Timothée Chalamet in a fat suit laying waste to nature and his fellow humans with garish CGI effects, throw in a couple of songs, and pad out the running time with a giant battle at the end with a golden terraforming laser shooting out of the sky and you have yourself a flop...I mean, a hit!

As much as movies, television, and pop culture in general have confronted the myth's themes of greed and isolation, direct wholesale adaptations of the myth itself are few and far between. The only half-way substantial adaptations I could find on YouTube (ones that were not cheap educational kid videos) was an episode of Mythic Warriors, an aggressively mediocre late-nineties Saturday morning cartoon show that retold Greek myths, and a fairly impressive stop-motion short film from the fifties (produced by none other than stop-motion animation pioneer Ray Harryhausen). TVTropes.org lists some animated series that have dedicated episodes to the Midas concept (Hercules: The Animated Series had an episode that depicted Midas as a Bond villian and there's an episode of Yogi Bear that has Yogi blessed with "The Pik-a-Nik Basket Touch"). And if you've ever frequented a elementary school library (assuming you were, at one point, a child), you'll probably remember seeing that horrifying book cover for The Chocolate Touch, where a young boy pecks his mother on the cheek and her upper torso turns a shade of cocoa-brown. Let's also not forget the middle school play that I co-starred in called "King Midas and the Touch of Gold" (written by Vera Morris, published by Pioneer Drama Service, the leading name in easy-bake, royalty-free community theater/primary school theatrical productions since time immemorial) where I played the pivotal role (or at least that's how I delude myself into thinking it was) of Prince Ajax, Midas' future son-in-law.

Disney's The Golden Touch, as far as I can tell, is the most well-known adaptation of the Greek myth (or at least the only one with a Wikipedia article, which is its own form of legitimacy), despite it also being one of the lesser known Silly Symphonies, one that was willfully obscured by its creator and director, Walt Disney. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves is often given the ironic moniker of "Disney's Folly" due to the fact it was a risky venture that was predicted to fail, but ended up being the highest grossing film of 1937. That's all fine and good and hopefully you get pats on the back for relating that anecdote at a future cocktail party, but if there is a project that could rightfully be deemed Disney's actual folly, it was The Golden Touch.

It was the first cartoon that Disney directed in five years (his last being 1930's The Cactus Kid, though he technically directed a couple of little things here and there, like Parade of the Award Nominees, a tiny short specifically made for the 1932 Academy Awards). There are varying interpretations as to why exactly Walt Disney returned to the director's chair. One of them was that he wasn't satisfied with his animators' work so he felt the need to show them a lesson on how it's really done. Another was that one of his head animators left and decided to take it upon himself to fill that space. Or he wanted to make important movies with strong social messages. I don't know. Who knows? So anyway, he utilized only two animators for his production (Norm Ferguson and Fred Moore) and it took about eight months to finish. And it flopped.

It was such a flop that Disney's animators would often use it as a riposte to any of Walt's nagging complaints. The animators could just say The Golden Touch and the sound of bellowing airhorns would pierce the air as a plum-faced Walt Disney left the room in silence.

And that was the last time Walt Disney directed anything. Ever.

It is not a highly-regarded short, though I would argue it gets way too much of a bad rep, which is why I will defend it in my typically over-rigorous way. Let's take a look, shall we?

(Keep in mind, this adaptation is set in a medieval setting, so don't expect Mount Olympus looming over the horizon.)

We open on a wide shot of a dungeon that serves as King Midas' treasury/counting room. The floor is covered with bags and chests of gold coins. Midas is at his desk, counting each individual coin (with no aid of abacus or feathered quill to keep track of his slow progress) as a black cat, wearing an Elizabethan ruff around its neck, looks on, rhythmically curling and uncurling its tail. The location is dour, with grey stone walls and a barred window casting a solitary shaft of light on our lone protagonist (one of the bars on the window is suspiciously bent, giving the scene a more sinister cast than is necessary). There's a garish sign over the stairwell passage that proclaims, "IN GOLD I TRUST", the kind of vulgar display you'd see displayed unironically at Mar-A-Lago. The gloomy mise-en-scène is starkly contrasted with the merry counting ditty Midas sings as he stacks each coin into unorganized piles.

One billion, two million, twenty-five-thousand, nine-hundred-and-eight,

One billion, two million, twenty-five-thousand, nine-hundred-and-nine,

One billion, two million, twenty-five-thousand, nine-hundred-and-ten,

One billion, two million, twenty-five-thousand, nine-hundred-and....

Before he can say eleven (cheekily nodding that eleven would break the syllabic count of the meter), he mightily sneezes, knocking over all the piles. He notices the camera, tips his crown to the audience, and launches into an introductory song about himself.

Before he starts singing, let's take a moment to describe King Midas' appearance (or at least Walt Disney's interpretation of him). Imagine the kind of fat, middle-aged slob you find haunting the dog track, or the local OTB, adorned in slovenly dress and a cheap stogie clamped in his teeth (narrow it down to a less lovable Uncle Buck). The kind of long shot loser that, if you even emerge within his eye-line, will chatter your ear off about how great a handicapper he is and how the so-called "experts" don't know jack-shit. A red drinker's nose, a bald dome with clownish tufts of black hair on the sides of his cranium, flabby arms, large hairy man-hands, and a stringy mustache that reminds one of a hairbrush if its bristles were made of insect-legs, all ensconced in a hourglass-shaped head. Top it off with a Jughead-like crown askance on his noggin and a ratty, oversized robe purchased from a thrift costume shoppe. It's a comically grotesque character design, like a lazy court jester posing as a king. It's like if the real king took the week off and handed off the reins to his shiftless, dead-beat brother-in-law.

The song goes as follows:

I'm known as rich King Midas,

And when you look at me,

You see a king who knows a thing

About his treasury.

I've never cared for women.

I've never cared for wine.

But when I count a large amount of money,

It's divine!

(giggle)

Gold, gold, gold!

I worship it! I love it!

Gold, gold, gold!

I wish I had more of it!

My love for shiny gold is such

That I could never have too much.

I wish that everything I touch

Would turn to gold, gold, gold!

(laughs uproariously)

It's not a good song and Midas is not a good vocalist, but it fits his boorish character and it's an efficient introduction. Being someone who is not musically inclined, it's the kind of song I would come up with in an unguarded moment.

Just then, a little man appears out of thin air. The stone walls turn golden, giving the room a warmer cast. The little man is a stereotypically androgynous elf character with bald head, big ears, pointy nose, green tights, and a feather in his cap. I'm reminded of those Santa's helper elf dolls my grandma used to stick in her Christmas tree.

A startled Midas cradles his gold doubloons and asks, "Who art thou, stranger?" The little man introduces himself as Goldie. Midas replies, "What do you want? My gold?" Goldie claims gold is "chickenfeed" to him. "Behold!" Goldie proclaims as he delicately places an index finger on the black cat's head. The cat, frozen in place, transforms into a golden statuette (an 18 K designation embossed on its torso). Midas' crown does a back flip. Seemingly unconcerned about the cat and its possible demise, Midas flicks the statuette for authenticity and it "dings" in reply. Midas begins to salivate. The Golden Touch!

There's a lovely moment of acting from Midas here. Midas lasciviously grabs the statuette but Goldie stops him. Goldie wags his finger like an adult scolding a child. A look of petulance, followed by a cocked eyebrow of suspicion clouds Midas' features. Then, he reluctantly lets go and sits back with this helpless expression on his face as Goldie snaps his fingers and claps his hands, and voila, the cat is back to normal. When the cat runs away, Midas looks briefly disappointed. In a performance dominated by broad strokes of acting (his performance is mostly ham-and-cheese with a side of big hairy mitts wildly gesticulating), it's easily the most humanizing characterization of Midas we get throughout the whole short. He's a fat, stubborn child, but not so stubborn to where he won't listen or be guided by a little reason. Underscored by Frank Churchill's lilting string section, it's a moment that gently nudges towards Midas' redemption.

Midas offers his gold and his kingdom for the Golden Touch. He even takes off his robe (leading to a funny reveal that he's not wearing a regal gown so much as a regal undershirt, exposing hairy, liver-spotted shoulders). Goldie warns of the perils of the Golden Touch, but Midas won't hear of it ("Fiddlesticks! Give me gold! Not advice!"). Goldie relents and blesses Midas with the Golden Touch. He hoots a little "toodle-oo" and disappears into the invisible ether from whence he came, the room returning to its original gloomy state.

Midas twiddles his large sausage fingers, now containing a terrible power. What can he test it on? Why, the cat, of course! This rotund fool chases the kitty around the castle, with his index finger stupidly pointing out in front of him.

When the cat runs out into the courtyard, we finally get to see the extent of Midas' kingdom. It's completely devoid of humans. No servants, maids, courtiers, or jesters in sight. It's emptier than the Queen's kingdom in Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. At least she had a burly huntsman and a creepy mirror to keep her company.

The cat climbs up an apple tree, which Midas collides into headlong. The tree transforms into gold, as golden apples (due to the the sheer weight of this miraculous alchemy) fall on Midas' head (though some of the apples still retain their red hue, which never made sense to me. I presume Midas' initial collision with the tree shook some of the apples off the tree before the alchemy took effect). Unfortunately, the cat is transformed into gold as well. Midas, delighted, grabs the stiff tail of the golden cat and lifts it up like a scepter, proclaiming, "It works! It works! Whoopee!"

Midas launches into a giddy dance, holding up his robe like a maidens' skirt (why doesn't his robe turn to gold?), and sings a mindless ditty that seems, much like the first song, shot from the hip in a passionate moment:

The Golden Touch!

La La La La!

La La La La La La La!

Midas touches the flowers, each flower (well, they're golden flowers now) sounding like a tinkly bell in rhythm with the song. He approaches a bird fountain and twirls his finger in the water. Somehow, he is able to twirl the water upward as it turns to gold, creating what looks like a pile of excrement with a curlicue pig tail on top. The birds appraise it like studious art history majors.

He approaches a water fountain, places a hand atop the gushing water, and an avalanche of gold coins spurts out (the visual of this moment, coupled with the sound effect of the coins, reminds one of a big cash payout at a video slot machine). Then he turns the fountain into gold, mid-gush.

Then he turns two pan-flute-playing satyr statues into gold (you begin to feel the creative vitality of this sequence winding down if two boring satyr statues is Walt's idea of a victory lap).

Midas prances through a hallway before approaching a big mirror. Since he is a lonely monarch, he talks to himself. More specifically, he discusses the possibility of turning the whole world into gold. His reflection becomes a separate entity and applauds the king's lofty ambitions (a overused visual gag, but it's fine). The king smiles and gives himself a golden tooth.

After a long morning of touching things, Midas treats himself to a full banquet of food. This scene is the revelatory moment when Midas discovers the foolhardiness of his wish. He attempts to eat grapefruit but as he dips his spoon into the pulp, a stream of coins shoots into his face. Midas takes it in stride at first, affecting an aristocratic manner, using a gold coin as a mock monocle. Peeling back a banana, he gets a pile of coins rather than a sweet fleshy treat. He grabs his goblet. Mouthful of coins,

Midas is starting to get worried. He forks a succulent roast chicken from across the table. Just as his teeth touch the skin, the chicken is now a golden chicken. In petulant frustration, Midas touches all the dishes before flipping the entire table.

(The sound design is also quite interesting: throughout the short, when Midas turns things to gold, there's a tinkly, quavering bell sound that emanates. It's frothy and angelic, echoing Midas' glee at his newfound power. Now, when he's touching all the dishes in the throes of hunger, the sound is more hollow and cacophonous, evoking the gold's now chilly uselessness. When he's biting the gold-plated chicken, it sounds like someone hammering a slab of metal.)

Midas is pulling his hair out and laughing maniacally. He approaches the mirror from earlier and asks his reflection, "Is the richest king in all the world to starve to death?"

His reflection, now a golden skeleton, nods in assent. Frightened, Midas tries to flee the castle. Unfortunately, his long shadow serves as the veil for a giant golden Grim Reaper blocking the door. The sound that comes out of Midas is.....is it possible to call one's frightened gasp 'blood-curdling'? It's a gasp that has 'fatal coronary' written all over it. The skeleton makes a slashing motion across his throat and the king runs away. Probably my favorite moment in any cartoon.

A shaken Midas returns to his treasury and pleads for Goldie to return, all the while crying like a infant. Goldie, indeed, does return, mocking Midas' vanity. Midas begs Goldie to erase "this golden curse". He offers Goldie his entire kingdom for one "hamburger sandwich" (charmingly redundant phrase). A pretty drastic offer: a complete enunciation of all materialism and power, all for a sandwich whose existence would cease after three masticatory cycles of the lower jaw (it takes me three bites to finish a hamburger, a pleasant sight for anyone whose ever eaten in my presence). Being the maniacal sadist that he is, Goldie teasingly asks him, "With or without onions?" Midas says plain is fine. Goldie "toodle-oo's" back into the eighth dimension.

We get a wide shot of the dungeon treasury (if you notice, the desk is not centered in the shot like it was in the opening and the ceiling is way higher. Mainly because it's about to be used in an upcoming match cut where we see the massive dirt pit that was once the treasury, to show the overall scale of the castle's evaporation) as the castle begins to implode. Debris is falling and there's this putrid gold filter that flickers on screen (like a strobe effect) to simulate the implosion. It's not great.

Midas is now standing in an open pit that was formerly the treasury. His kingly robes disappear, replaced by a Depression-era railroad bum outfit with polka-dotted undershirt, striped boxers, and a tin can as a replacement crown. Then, as promised, a hamburger sandwich appears out of thin air. Midas is ecstatic, but hesitant. He slowly and nervously touches the hamburger sandwich (covering his eyes in the hopes that...well, his hopes won't be dashed). It remains a hamburger sandwich. He looks under the bun and exclaims with a toothless smile (the gold tooth is gone...little details do not go unnoticed), "With onions! Whoopee!" Midas voraciously gnaws at his hamburger sandwich. La fin.

So, why is The Golden Touch considered such an ugly duckling in Disney canon?

Backlash towards it, at least from the perspective of the animators, was either a case of expectations being raised too high (considering that Uncle Walt was behind it, you would think it would be the most amazing work of animation to have ever been farted out of that blessed studio), or just plain old schadenfreude (Walt was known to be a prickly pear, so animators rejoiced at this supposed "failure").

I don't have an opinion on what makes The Golden Touch strong or weak from an animation standpoint (I'm not an expert on the finer details of animation). You can't really go wrong with Disney in terms of technical craft, so all I can is say is that I like the animation. It's good....except for that palace destruction sequence.

A common criticism of The Golden Touch are that the characters are unlikable, with Midas being a loud man-child and Goldie being a snide rogue who harbors no sympathy for the king. It's also criticized for not being terribly effective as a fable either, with Midas' redemption hinging not so much on a moral realization of gold's inherent evil, but rather on the self-preservation instinct that starvation inspires in desperate, selfish people. Sure, Midas' hunger for gold is extinguished, but it just ends up being replaced by a different kind of hunger. And judging from his rotund physique, his whole existence is driven not by any sort of human compassion (since there's no one around for him to be compassionate towards), but rather by satiety. You could argue the ending has a Depression-era populist moral, relating to the common man and how to be content with little, but it doesn't seem to point in any hopeful direction in its otherwise hopeless protagonist.

And also, people didn't find it funny (well, Disney shorts were never that funny; they were just clever in a smirky way) and thought it was too long (The Golden Touch is ten minutes long, the longest of the Silly Symphonies). But that's subjective.

And if we want to be shamelessly nitpick-y about it, we could say it barely qualifies as a Silly Symphony. It only has two songs, and they're easily disposable. It leans more on the "silly" than the "symphony" and it falls short of the mark of being both at the same time and that's probably irritating for anyone who is that much of a literalist.

These are understandable criticisms, but they're also rather narrow readings. It's being judged too much through the lens of "meaningful fable" or "typically whole-hearted Disney fare".

The Golden Touch, at least to me, feels more like a farcical condemnation of privileged wealth. Its flippant tone and irreverent disregard for easy morality is more akin to a Warner Bros. cartoon. It doesn't have the same snide mean-spiritedness as Bugs Bunny torturing an opera singer, but there's a noticeable lack of sentimentality, especially compared to other Disney projects. This tonal flippancy can be seen as a failure of intent, but if it is, its unintended effect still works. It felt different from other Disney shorts and probably why I gravitated towards it the most. It had...edge. Well, about as much edge as a butter knife, but relative to other Disney shorts, it manages to draw a pink mark on the studio's lily-white skin.

I like King Midas. Midas is a larger-than-life clown whose childishness and slimy charisma are engaging in a mildly acidic way. This is all due to Norm Ferguson's amusing character design and Billy Bletcher's gargantuan baritone. It's a well-realized interpretation. I can't say the same for Goldie, who is basically a squeaky-voiced dime-store leprechaun with a mischievous countenance, but it's serviceable.

It's enjoyability is also enhanced by its visuals, especially when Midas is turning everything into gold. The golden touch is, obviously, the short's creative weapon and I'm still entranced by its various visual gags. The sequence when Midas is prancing around in his garden has a playful tone that is acerbically contrasted with his casual destruction of nature. The sequence with Midas at his banquet table is funny while also being palpably tense (you cam feel Midas' panicky frustration at not being able to eat).

The ending itself is a pretty bold reimagining of the blandly happy ending that often bookends the Midas myth. It often just ends with Midas learning his lesson and retaining all his worldly goods. In Disney's The Golden Touch, Midas literally loses everything. Sure, it's based on Midas' impulsiveness (he doesn't even think twice about what he's saying when making that fatal deal with Goldie; he's just an mindless animal blurting things out in desperation), but that impulsiveness and recklessness is just punishment for a man who has no business ruling over anybody, or anything for that matter. Uncle Walt is a much harsher critic of Midas than Ovid or Hawthorne ever were.

I also like The Golden Touch simply because I like the dark, suggestive undercurrent of the tale. The myth itself is already bathed in frightening implications. The eerie uniformity of a kingdom glazed in a dull sheen. And not being able to do...anything, let alone eat. It's crippling and isolating and would send even the most stalwart soul into the fetal position.

Granted, The Golden Touch doesn't morosely dip its head into the widening gyre of its scenario. It is ultimately a silly, harmless cartoon at its core, but it's the suggestion of that darkness that matters. It's only a ten minute short and yet, its conveys its world with brisk efficiency and surprising creativity. And though it might not feel wholly satisfying in its brief running time, it managed to fire up my young imagination.

Even its inconsistencies are engaging. Like, when he touches his cloak, why doesn't it turn to gold? When he touches the apple tree, why are some of the apples still red? When he forks the big chicken, why doesn't the chicken turn to gold right there since the chicken is touching the fork that he's holding? Why does the chicken turn to gold when it touches his teeth? Is it implying that other parts of his body have the golden touch? If that's the case, then why don't his slippers turn to gold? This infinite regress of nitpicks, far from being frustrating, are actually tantalizing and fun. It gives the viewer license to wrap their head around the thorny practicalities of having such a curse. Like, I'm just imagining one of Midas' servants (if he has any) dangling from a rope and dropping pieces of chicken into Midas' mouth, in the vain hope that none of the meat turns to gold if it touches his uvula.

Also, I like the golden skeletal specters of death near the end. It's always nice when a cartoon aimed for children reminds me of the finite time I have left.

Would it be trite to compare King Midas to Walt Disney for the purpose of a sassy put-down? Yeah. I'm sure one can't help but make that comparison. Were they both somewhat controlling bastards who got a taste of their own medicine? Sure. But that's just symmetrical poetical thinking.

If anything, I could almost see the short as being self-deprecation on Walt's part, playfully imagining himself the way he thought other people saw him. He purposefully created a demon so others could slay it, and hopefully inspire confidence in his animators to outdo themselves. But that's symmetrical poetical thinking on my part.

The simple honest answer is that Walt Disney sincerely tried to direct a short, and nobody liked it, and he remained wounded about it ever since. But I think ol' Walt might have been a bit hard on himself. The man tried and I think it worked. It was a noble attempt at something different after multiple cartoons tackled such tried-and-true subjects like cats, birds, flowers, trees, mice, pigs, kittens, bunnies, insects, fish, and other assorted nursery rhyme miscellany. Walt tried to tackle the inner darkness of mens' souls, and he did it with the kind of palatable whimsy that we can expect from the man. It's good. I like it.

Now, I will end on my own sassy critic blurb: "The Golden Touch? More like The Silver Touch."

Thank you.