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thewadapan · 6 months ago

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So why did Transformers One bomb?

Look, I'm just going to say it right off the bat: no, Transformers One is not the best Transformers movie of all time. I am (gritting my teeth) very happy for every single Transformers fan except me, who all seem to have liked it, and most of whom seem to have loved it. I agree that, as a production, it meets some baseline level of technical competence. It's a perfectly fine movie.

It's also the worst-performing Transformers movie Paramount has ever made.

Hopefully, now that its theatrical run has unceremoniously ended, people aren't going to try to rip me to shreds for theoretically threatening this multi-million-dollar film's box office revenue some miniscule amount by sharing a few teensy weensy complaints with my fifty followers.

Because I do just have a few little nitpicks, which I've tried my best to communicate, over the next 17,000 words of this post.

If you're not a Transformers fan, sorry, this essay is mostly written with the assumption that you've seen Transformers One. However, it might still be of some interest as a window into the current state of the franchise. I've written a basic plot summary of the movie to bring you up to speed, in that case. Because Transformers One purports to be the perfect introduction to the story, no homework needed, I've also done you the courtesy of elucidating background context as needed—think of this less as a review, and more as a history lesson, or maybe a "lore explained" YouTube video. After all, that's pretty much all that Transformers One is.

(And if farcically long posts aren't really your thing, you might prefer to listen to the special episode of Our Worlds are in Danger where my pals and I chatted about the film. Many of the hottest takes and silliest bits in this essay are shamelessly stolen from Jo and Umar.)

We've been waiting for Transformers One for a very long time. It's the first animated Transformers film to get a theatrical release since The Transformers: The Movie came out in 1986. It first entered development around a decade ago. Many fandom members I know online got to see it as far back as June. Its US premiere was in September; those of us in the UK had to wait a full extra month before seeing it, for no clear reason. This is a film which purports to show, in broad strokes, for the first time on the big screen, the origin of the Transformers: where they come from, who they are, and why they're fighting.

By the end of its runtime, Transformers One does not actually answer these questions. Don't get me wrong, it takes great pains trying to answer a lot of different, related questions—just ones which nobody was really asking in the first place: What does the word "Autobots" mean, if not "automobile robots"? What does the word "Decepticons" mean, if they're not actually deceitful? Why is he called "Optimus Prime"? Why is he called "Megatron"? If they were friends, why did they fall out? Why does Starscream sound Like That? Where does Energon come from? If "Prime" is a title, what were the other Primes like? How do Transformers transform?

Writer Eric Pearson, coming onto the project as an outsider to Transformers, describes having to go to Hasbro to ask these kinds of questions:

they had a script that outlined the story that they wanted to tell. I knew Optimus Prime and Megatron and I knew Bumblebee as well, or B. I had to ask about some of the other deeper ones, the mythology, “what exactly is the Matrix of Leadership?” Stuff like that.

See, Hasbro does in fact have the answers written down somewhere. The story as I understand it goes something like this. During the wild west of the '80s and '90s, Transformers "canon" was largely a by-the-seat-of-your-pants consensus-based affair between the freelance writers and copywriters the toy company would bring on to advertise their toys. That changed around the turn of the millennium, when late later-CEO Brian Goldner saw how Hasbro's licensed IP lines (such as Star Wars) were more financially successful and realised they could make more money by aggressively promoting their own in-house IP, which they didn't have to pay licensing fees for. (For the curious, a similar thought process at rival toy company Lego was what led to their creation of BIONICLE.)

The guy basically singlehandedly managing the Transformers brand at the time, Aaron Archer, eventually set to reconciling all the self-contradictory lore surrounding Transformers, an endeavour which dovetailed into the creation of the HasLab internal think-tank (best known for Battleship, the 2012 store-brand Michael Bay knockoff which was a failure critically and commercially but not in my heart) and ultimately the creation of the so-called "Binder of Revelation", an internal story bible which cost over $250,000 to produce and has strongly influenced nigh on every piece of Transformers media released since, but which we hadn't actually seen until it got leaked a week ago. As it turns out, the document itself (compiled mostly by marketers and toy designers) is patently useless to any writer: it's a typo-ridden internally-inconsistent wishy-washy mess that mostly describes the characters in terms of a made-up form of Transformers astrology that has otherwise never seen the light of day.

So although the Binder is the baseline story bible for most modern Transformers media, its influence isn't direct per se; it's more accurate to describe it as being an elaborate game of telephone between high-profile cartoons, comics, and other internal documents, with the Binder itself apparently just sitting in a drawer somewhere at Hasbro; Eric Pearson says that he never received a "binder", with the "script" he mentions either being the earlier draft from Andrew Barrer and Gabriel Ferrari (the guys who originally pitched the story), or some other unseen internal document. Director Josh Cooley, however, definitely seems to have been physically handed the Binder or its mass-market adaptation:

I knew that there was a lot of origin to be told, and when I first started, [Hasbro] gave me the Transformers Bible. I could not believe how big it was. I was like, "This is way more than I ever anticipated."

When trailers first dropped for Transformers One, a lot of my friends who are savvy were immediately like: "Oh, this is a weirdly faithful adaptation of the Binder of Revelation, huh."

I. The One True Origin of the Transformers

Half of the people reading this are Transformers fans, and half of you literally could not give less of a shit about Transformers, so if you're in the 'former group (so to speak), you'll just have to bear with me while I bring the rest of us up to speed.

Before the Transformers' civil war begins, Cybertron is being oppressed by the Quintessons. The Quintessons are a race of five-faced aliens (as in, not Transformers), who execute everyone they come across, first introduced in The Transformers: The Movie, presiding over a kangaroo court on a castaway world. In the followup cartoon five-parter "Five Faces of Darkness", writer Flint Dille established that, gasp, they were actually the original creators of the Transformers! But basically nobody else at the time was particularly compelled by this idea, it seems, with most fans preferring the more mythological origin story conceived by Bri'ish writer Simon Furman for the Marvel comics. I think people kind of just didn't like to think of the Transformers as being robots—mass-produced, a fabrication, programmed—as opposed to an alien race of thinking, feeling beings like us. But because the cartoon was important to many kids, a lot of early-2000s media tried to reconcile the cartoon and comic origin stories by stating that the Quintessons didn't actually create the Transformers; rather, they simply colonised the planet early in its history and pretended to be the Transformers' creators, until the truth came out and they got kicked offworld. This is how the Binder of Revelation ultimately paid lip service to the Quintessons. In Transformers One, the Quintessons are just sort of here, they're these evil aliens secretly skimming Energon from its miners, they don't speak English (or whichever language the film was dubbed into in your market region), they're just these nasty societal parasites.

Energon is Transformers fuel. In the original cartoon, it was these glowing pink cubes the Decepticons were always trying to produce using harebrained Saturday-morning-cartoon energy-stealing devices. There was a Cold War going on, America had just been through an "energy crisis", maybe you're old enough to remember any of that. Transformers are these big, complicated machines, so I guess the idea is they need this hyper-compressed superfuel to run off, and their homeworld has run out. By the time of the Binder of Revelation, the concept had been telephoned to the point where Energon is like the lifeblood of Primus or some shit.

Primus is the Transformers God—but not the kind of God you have "faith" in, rather this actual guy whose existence is objectively known in various ways. He transforms into a planet, that's kind of cool, right? Where does Primus come from? Look, it doesn't matter, he's like, the God of Creation, he was there at the start of time. He created all of the Transformers. All the other species in the galaxy, though, they evolved naturally thanks to "science". Actually wait, didn't that Quintus Prime guy go around the universe seeding all the planets with different kinds of Cybertronian life? That's why they're called Quintessons. See, now you know. Who's Quintus Prime?

Okay, so the Thirteen Original Transformers, or the Primes, are the thirteen original Transformers created by Primus. Most of them correspond to different kinds of Transformer: Nexus Prime is the god of Transformers who can combine, Onyx Prime is the god of Transformers who turn into animals, Micronus Prime is the god of Transformers who are small, and Solus Prime is the god of Transformers who are women. You might remember the Primes from Revenge of the Fallen, although there were only seven of them there for whatever reason.

Honestly, The Fallen was the only one who mattered for a long time. The whole reason there's thirteen of them is because thirteen is kind of an unlucky number, right? Twelve would've been fine. But throw in a thirteenth guy, and he betrays everyone, he's this fucked up evil guy. In the Binder of Revelation, though, the Thirteenth Prime is his own special guy shrouded in mystery, because they kind of liked the idea that Optimus Prime would secretly turn out to have been the Thirteenth Prime all along, and he just forgot or something, because that means he has the divine right of Primes. In IDW's 2010s comic-book reboot, the Thirteenth Prime was called "The Arisen"—in reference to that one line in The Transformers: The Movie, "Arise, Rodimus Prime!" (this margin is too narrow to explain who Rodimus Prime is). Towards the end of his run, writer John Barber did some actually interesting stuff with the concept, playing with the ambiguity over whether-or-not Optimus Prime was actually the chosen one.

All of Optimus Prime's immediate predecessors as Autobot leaders, Sentinel Prime, Zeta Prime, the lineage seen in "Five Faces of Darkness"... they're all false Primes. They're Primes in name only. In fact, IDW had a whole procession of these cartoonishly evil dictators thanks to a few continuity errors leading to the addition of a couple of extra narratively-redundant fuckers. Transformers One tries to simplify it slightly by just saying that Zeta Prime was one of the Primes for real—occupying that thirteenth "free space"—and it was just Sentinel Prime who was only a normal Transformer pretending to be a Prime, then Optimus Prime who's a real boy.

But if he's not a Prime from the start, Optimus Prime needs another name in the meantime. In the '80s cartoon episode "War Dawn", before he was called Optimus Prime, he was called "Orion Pax". Have you noticed that Optimus Prime is kind of an odd-one-out amongst all the straightup-English-word names like "Bumblebee" and "Ratchet" and "Jazz"? That's because his name was one of a tiny handful from very early in the franchise's development, before writer Bob Budiansky came onboard and came up with identities for the vast majority of the toys. Practically everyone Bob Budiansky named is called like, "Bolts" or some shit, long before the characters even know of Earth, which has always just been a contrivance of the setting you're not supposed to think about.

Presumably to create a parallel with Orion Pax's transformation into Optimus Prime, someone at Hasbro in the 2010s came up with a new name for the bot who would become Megatron: "D-16". In real-world terms, this was nothing more than a dorky reference to the Megatron toy's original Japanese release being number 16 in the line ("D" stands for "Destron", which is what they call Decepticons in Japan). But in-universe, the name "D-16" was drawn from the sector of the mine where he worked. I don't get the impression it was originally intended to be part of a broader pattern.

Which is why I'm baffled as to what the hell the reasoning was behind Bumblebee's pre-Earth name, "B-127". There's this bizarre situation in the Bumblebee film, where the name "B-127" first cropped up, where literally every other bot gets a normal cool name with personality like "Cliffjumper" or "Dropkick" except for Bumblebee, who is stuck with this clunky sci-fi name until he makes friends with a human teenager on Earth and she gives him the name Bumblebee. I guess I don't find it confusing that the writers would (correctly) realise it's a bit weird for Bumblebee to be called Bumblebee on an alien planet where bumblebees don't exist. What I find confusing is that they didn't extend that logic to any other character.

So despite everything else in the franchise's direction pointing away from "robot" and towards "alien", Transformers One ends up with this ridiculous situation where two of the most important guys are, for practically the whole movie, simply referred to as "Dee" and "Bee", I guess because the writers correctly realised the numbers sound fucking stupid.

And if you squint, "Elita-1" sorta fits this naming scheme. But the great irony of it is that the very same cartoon episode which coined "Orion Pax" simultaneously established that Elita-1 also used to go by a different name: "Ariel"! Like the Little Mermaid. Y'know, because an "aerial" is a type of electrical component- oh, forget it.

By the time the script made it into Eric Pearson's hands, it's obvious that he simply was not thinking about it that deeply. He describes the genesis of a scene where Bumblebee introduces his imaginary friends, "A-atron, EP 5-0-8, and Steve." A-atron was impov'd by Keegan-Michael Key as a reference to one of his own skits on Key & Peele. Steve ("He's foreign.") was literally just because Pearson thought it would be funny. It's true that Steve is an inherently funny name, and I guess if you're struggling to come up with jokes of your own, it can be handy to fall back on something which is inherently funny.

And again, our silly answers to these silly questions beget yet more questions. If he started out as "D-16", then where did the name "Megatron" come from? And if all the Primes have epic made-up fantasy names, then surely that one guy can't just be called "The Fallen", right? That's not a name, that's an epithet. Unfortunately, someone at Hasbro had the bright idea to answer both these questions at once: The Fallen's real name was "Megatronus". Later, for consistency, they threw on the title, and we get "Megatronus Prime", which sounds like what a thirteen-year-old on deviantART in 2014 would call their Steven Universe fusion of Megatron and Optimus Prime. So you see, Megatron actually named himself after Megatronus Prime, famously the most evil of the Primes. In Transformers One, this is changed slightly so Megatronus is merely the strongest of the Primes, as part of its overall effort to make Megatron not look completely insane.

Which, it must be said, is a tall order. Better stories have tried and failed. Back in 2007, Scottish writer Eric Holmes came up with Megatron Origin, a perfectly-fine comic miniseries which drew heavily from the miners' strikes that took place in the UK from 1984-1985, coinciding with the inception of the Transformers franchise. In that comic, Megatron is a lowly miner who, through a series of chance events, winds up at the head of a dangerous political revolutionary movement.

For some reason—I guess because nobody had ever tried to make Megatron anything other than a bloodthirsty cackling madman before—this take on Megatron as a guy who rose up against a corrupt system became the defining interpretation of the character, copy/pasted pretty much wholesale into the Binder of Revelation. Orion Pax also opposes the system, and bonds with Megatron over it, but they disagree on how to fix it: Pax believes in peaceful reform, Megatron just loves to kill. In Transformers One, the problem everyone has with Megatron is basically "whoa, this guy's a little TOO angry!" and there's a point towards the end of the film where Megatron suddenly starts jonesing to kill literally anyone who stands in his way, because he's irrationally angry.

The core problem here—and it's kind of the Magneto problem, the Killmonger problem, whatever better-known example you care to insert here—is that these guys all fundamentally exist just to be a big villain who loves to kill people and who ultimately gets defeated, but the kids who grew up on this stuff in the '80s are now adults who are no longer satisfied with cardboard cutout villains. People like a complex villain, they like a villain who has a point. They like to root for both sides. And in fact, it's easier to sell more toys to people who are rooting for both sides, if your villain is just another kind of hero. But you don't really need to take the same effort with the good guys: they're good by design, righteous by nature. They don't need to stand for something, they just need to stand against the guy whose whole thing is that he loves to kill people.

But again, we're starting from a place where the evil faction—who half the planet will ultimately align themselves with—are literally called "Decepticons". It's a name you'd only ever call yourself ironically, maybe reclaiming it from your enemies. In this film, there's some tortured logic that implies they're called Decepticons because they were deceived by Sentinel Prime. Like if you met a gang of guys who call themselves "The Robbers", but it turns out to be because they got robbed one time, and they actually have zero intention of stealing from anyone.

The Autobots are easier, of course. "Auto" is a prefix that just means, like, the self, or whatever. And the most agreeably American ideal of all is selfishness the power of the individual, the freedom to seize one's own destiny. Prime's original '80s motto, "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings," is bastardised in Transformers One into the slightly less rolls-out-off-the-tongue "Freedom and autonomy are the rights of all sentient beings," because (I can only assume) they forgot to work the word "autonomy" earlier into the script. If they ever greenlit Transformers Three, I suppose the motto would have ended up as something like "Freedom, autonomy, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope are the rights of all sentient beings." Even though bodily autonomy is one of the most salient motifs present in the film—all but referred to by name—I suppose the filmmakers were worried that you might think, when Prime says "freedom", that he actually means something completely different. So now you see! "Autobots" is actually the descriptive name of a political movement which believes in obviously good things. Like "Moms for Liberty".

Okay, so the cannier among you have probably spotted the mean rhetorical trick I'm pulling with this encyclopedia-entry-ass introduction. By sarcastically relitigating all the storytelling choices I dislike from the last 20 years of Transformers lore, I can build up a negative association with Transformers One without even reviewing the movie itself! On a subtextual level, I'm deliberately misattributing these bad ideas to the filmmakers, conveniently ignoring the mountains of evidence to suggest that they were just trying to make the best of whatever Hasbro handed them from on high. If anything—you might think—the filmmakers deserve even more credit, for spinning this shite into something even remotely good on the big screen.

Like, you'd be wrong, but I can see why you might think that.

II. The Spider-Verse of Transformers

Okay, I can see that I've spat in your soup. I'm sorry. There are lots of good bits in Transformers One. I can even think of one or two of them off the top of my head, without really racking my brains.

Maybe halfway through the film, there is one specific moment where the story suddenly promises to get good. You can pinpoint it down to the word, down to the frame even. Our heroes have just discovered that their planet's leader, Sentinel Prime, is a complete fraud who's been secretly exploiting them ever since they were born—and worse, castrated them by removing their transformation cogs. They are all very cross about this. Orion Pax expresses that he wants to come up with a plan to expose Sentinel Prime. Megatron is too angry to listen. Orion Pax asks, "Don't you want to stop him?" And Megatron replies, "No, I want to KILL him!" And there's like, a little tint of red creeping into the glow of his eyes.

Whoa. Chills. Up to this point in the film, Megatron has been kind of surly at times, but he's otherwise a generic kids' movie protagonist. He's often chipper. He makes quips. He has this banter with Orion Pax where he's always complaining. It's literally that one "Optimist Prime"/"Negatron" comic, committed to film. Like I'm not even being facetious, one of the film's few obligatory "emotional moments" has Elita-1 sit Orion Pax down and say, "You know what I love about you? You always see the bright side. Like you're some kind of OPTIMIST or something." And then later completely unrelatedly God gives him the mandate of heaven and says "ARISE, OPTIMUS PRIME!" Y'see, as originally conceived, "Optimus" is the word "Optimum" if it was a name, which is why people sometimes localise his name as "Best #1". But it's genuinely kind of cute to reverse-engineer the etymology as coming from "optimist", I guess. Like, it's stupid, but it's cute.

Argh, I got distracted with naming minutia again! Entirely my bad. That's the last time, I promise. Where was I? Right, we'd just found out that Megatron is kind of scary. Brian Tyree Henry's line delivery as he growls "KILL" is his crowning achievement in this film.

Where Optimus Prime's character arc in this movie sees him change from a funny, rebellious spirit to a complete personality vacuum, Megatron's character arc is kind of the opposite. When we're first introduced to him, it's weirdly hard to get a handle on who he is. He's a fanboy for Megatronus, the strongest and most morally-unremarkable of the Primes. He looks up to Sentinel Prime. He likes sports. He doesn't like breaking the rules. In fact, we get the sense that, were it not for his friendship with Orion Pax, he would be literally indistinguishable from the legion of silent crowd-filling background characters he works with. But the moment he starts to become Megatron, it's like everything starts to click. Gears catch, where once they ground and idled. There is something in this guy that was made to fight, made to kill, made to rule. It's sick.

And the underlying tension in his friendship with Optimus suddenly snaps into focus. Megatron is mad at Sentinel Prime, but Sentinel Prime isn't there, he's somewhere else, far below... and he can't help but turn that anger on the next closest thing to an authority figure he has in his life, which is his peer-pressuring bestie, Orion Pax. There is a part of Megatron that wishes he'd never learned the truth, and he blames Orion Pax for his cursed knowledge, for constantly leading them into predicaments on his stupid flights of fancy. Now that he knows, he can't go back to how he was. He can't stop thinking about it.

I'll be honest, it rules. Obviously it rules. It's complicated and toxic and darker than this movie was marketed to be. In interview, Josh Cooley describes the draft of the script he was presented with when he joined the project as having been far more jokey, light-hearted, glib—and it seems we can credit him for saying "Look, this ain't right, the minute the credits roll these guys are going to be at civil war for millions of years."

So, they started talking about it in — what did you say, 2015? I came on board in 2020, and when I came on board there was the first draft of the script. So I don't think they'd been working on it that entire time, but they'd been thinking about it, for sure. And the script that I read was a little more comical? But it was clear that that wasn't the right tone for this film specifically, because we know there's gonna be a war, civil war on Cybertron, you can't have everybody making jokes and then all of a sudden there's a war. So, um, the stakes were really important for this film. And because our characters at the beginning are a little naive, and just on the younger side, not as experienced, it allowed more freedom for them to be a little looser and have fun really getting to know these characters. But once they realize something's going on and things are getting real, it needs to get real.

Cooley also describes his "in" on the film as being the brotherly relationship between Optimus Prime and Megatron (they're not literally brothers in this film, though they have been in the past), which perhaps explains why Megatron and Optimus Prime get to be characters, instead of just like, guys who are there.

That was always the goal from the beginning and what got me on board. It was this relationship between these two characters that was very human and brotherly. I thought about my relationship with my brother and how I could bring that in. It’s not like we’re enemies, but we grew up together and then went down our different paths, but we’re still brotherly. I became a writer-director and live in a fantasy land, and he became a homicide detective who deals with reality, so we’re two very different mindsets. I have always been fascinated by the idea of two people who come from the same place but end up in different ones. From the very beginning, I was like, ‘That’s something I can relate to.’

Anyway, things I liked, what else. There's that joke at the very start, after the excruciating lore powerpoint, where Orion Pax does a fake-out like he's going to transform, the music briefly swells, and then it just cuts to him legging it down the corridor. In a similar vein, I liked the idea behind the Iacon 5000, where Orion Pax has them run in the race. I felt like the execution of the race left a bit to be desired—the only other participant who matters is Darkwing—but it's still honestly the best big action setpiece in the film. There's also that bit at the end where Megatron and Optimus Prime are both changing into their final forms simultaneously, and it's basically a Homestuck Flash (what would that be, "[S] OPTIMUS PRIME. ARISE."?), so obviously I liked that. Oh, and I really liked the environment design where the planet's landscape is constantly transforming, that's brand-new, someone had an Idea there, and it creates visual interest during the initial Energon-mining scene... even if I wished it had actually paid off in a more meaningful way than "the planet's crust opens as Prime falls to get the Matrix"—like, someone really should've gotten eaten by the planet, that's a cracking Disney death scene and they left it on the table! I also liked getting to see my blorbo, Vector Prime, on the big screen.

I think, as a Transformers fan who's had to sit through a lot of really quite sexist, racist, and plain bad films, you're well within your rights to come out of this one ready to give it a fucking Oscar. You should be ecstatic! It has none of those pesky humans clogging up the frame. It has plenty of robot action. It has jokes which- well I struggle to call many of them "funny", but they're at least trying to be funny in a different way to Michael Bay's films. The film is obviously a massive love letter to... honestly every part of Transformers except the live-action movies. It is an incredibly faithful and earnest adaptation of all the lore and iconography that has randomly accumulated the way it has over the last forty years of bullshit.

My main point of contention, then, is with the overriding sentiment I'm seeing from pretty much everyone else in the fandom: that this is not just the best Transformers movie, but that it's a great animated movie period, that it does for Transformers what Into the Spider-Verse did for Spider-Man, what The Last Wish did for Puss in Boots, and what Mutant Mayhem did for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. That, in effect, this film will make you "get it". That it's better-looking, better-written, and more meaningful than a silly toy commercial has any right to be.

I think you can definitely see some loose influence from Spider-Verse in the overall look of the film—particularly in its color grading, and in the design of its main setting, the underground city of Iacon, where the upside-down skyscrapers hanging from the ceiling evoke the iconic "falling upwards" shot from Spider-Verse. Like The Last Wish, it's an animated franchise film that spent much longer than you'd think in development, only for the release of Into the Spider-Verse to have an immediate impact on its visual style... without actually affecting the basic story to the same extent. Both Transformers One and The Last Wish, in many ways, feel like stories concocted using an older formula; in particular, Transformers One bears startling similarities to a similar toy-franchise-prequel, BIONICLE 2: Legends of Metru Nui, which was released twenty years ago! By contrast, Mutant Mayhem—which had a much shorter development period—is a direct reaction to Spider-Verse in both aesthetic and narrative, and it has a much more distinctive creative direction as a result.

If you look at how all these titles have performed in cinemas, I think you can make a pretty strong case that audiences are perfectly willing to go out and see this kind of flick. A glance at Wikipedia tells me that Mutant Mayhem, The Bad Guys, and The Last Wish grossed double, triple, and quadruple their budgets respectively. In terms of the pre-existing cultural cachet they were banking on, we're talking about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a children's book series I'd never heard of, and fucking Puss in Boots. You cannot tell me that Transformers, as a brand, is on the same level as any of these properties. Meanwhile, Transformers One hardly broke even, while The Wild Robot—another DreamWorks film based on a children's book I've never heard of, which it ended up competing with in theatres—grosses three times its budget. My friends who've seen The Wild Robot say it made them cry.

Face it: Transformers One has not lit the world on fire. I've seen a lot of people cope with this by suggesting that it's to do with the film's staggered release, or even by claiming that the film's marketing was somehow misleading. I'll be honest, upon seeing it, it did not strike me as being at all dissimilar to the trailers. You can maybe say that the trailers undersold the depth of Orion Pax's and Megatron's relationship—which is its best aspect—but honestly, I think if they'd taken a lot of those scenes out of context and put them in early teasers, audiences would've laughed it out of theatres. Like, c'mon, it's toy robots, stop pretending it's Shakespeare. And otherwise, what you see is what you get; it's exactly what it says on the tin.

I wonder how many Transformers fans, on some level, have noticed that even when we're supposedly "eating good", and watching "peak cinema", our films just aren't as good as everyone else's. They're something you'll enjoy if you're already highly predisposed to enjoy them. But otherwise, they're not turning heads. They're not as funny, or as heartfelt, or as complex, or as exciting, or as charming, or as memorable, or as beautiful as these other films. Unlike with Spider-Verse, there's no word-of-mouth amongst normal people to say that this is a film worth seeing.

What I perceive in studios hoping to recreate the flash-in-the-pan success of Spider-Verse is a misunderstanding of what made people go crazy for that movie in the first place. Yes, it changed our conception of what an 3D-animated film could look like. Yes, the multiverse is very cool and all that. Yes, it had a huge IP attached to it. But on a more fundamental level, that movie has a fantastic story underpinning it. The script is razor-sharp. The story is beautifully complex. The vision of New York City it presents is a living, breathing place, populated by real people. It has the kind of craft to it that can only come from truly obsessive creators cultivating an absolutely miserable professional environment for a legion of passionate animators.

In interview, Transformers producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura actually spoke surprisingly candidly about his view on crunch:

I probably shouldn't answer this question, because I'm not exactly PC on my answer. I think the nature of filmmaking is, we're really lucky to work in a business that's about passion. Passion doesn't fit really well into a timeline, so inevitably you come to a crunch time. It's just true in the live action, it's true in every movie, and authors always tell me that about when they're writing their books — it's the same thing happens to them! There's something about the creative process that's not — it's unruly. So, I think if you're enjoying it, you need to recognize that. Like, you know, I don't wanna abuse anybody, and y'know — if you get into that period where people have to really work too hard, you gotta help them in that situation, then. 'Cause it's gonna come. It does on every movie. I've never seen it not come, no matter how well you plan, et cetera. 'Cause it's not a science what we're doing at all, and there's all these discoveries that happen near the end, which makes you go "oh, let's do some more, come on!". We discovered that on this movie, where we're calling ILM going "we've got a few ideas, you know, do you have enough man-hours?". [...] Like, you gotta be conscious of it — in live-action, for instance, there are some studios that are so cheap that when you're on — sort of medium location-distance and you're shooting 'til midnight, they don't pay for a hotel room. It's like, well, no-no-no, you pay for a hotel room. You protect the people.

According to everyone who worked on Transformers One, everyone who worked on Transformers One was very passionate about it. But there are parts of this film where I think you can say, pretty objectively, that it's falling short of its intended effect. So I guess maybe they weren't that passionate. I'm not saying that to be mean! It's just... isn't that better than the alternative—that this was the best they could do?

III. I did not care for The Godfather

At one point in the film, the gang's magic map leads them to a scary cave, which looks like this:

Bumblebee fills the dead air by saying, "A cave, with teeth. Nothing scary about that!" The joke here is that this is a cave that looks like a mouth. But as depicted, it's a cave that looks like a mouth that doesn't look like a cave! I get that this is an alien planet, but stalactites don't grow that way on Earth, so when you see the cave onscreen, your gut reaction isn't "oh my, what a frightening cave!". No, this is a cave that makes you say, "that's not a cave, that's some kind of alien monster".

(It's not like "cave turns out to be a monster" would in any way be a fresh twist. In BIONICLE 2: Legends of Metru Nui, there's a bit where a character swims into a scary cave, and it turns out to be the mouth of a massive sea serpent. In The Empire Strikes Back, the Millennium Falcon briefly hides in an asteroid tunnel which turns out to be a giant space worm. So I'm definitely not saying Transformers One would've been a better film if it had used this stock trope.)

Then once the heroes go inside, we're whisked off to an entirely different set of concept artwork, for this lush organic underground paradise. There's no danger there. The cave itself is reduced to a strange little footnote. Maybe it's only in the story because a concept artist drew it before they'd worked out the finer points of the narrative, and Keegan-Michael Key just ended up ad-libbing the "teeth!" line when he was told to vamp for a few seconds. Or maybe the teeth gag was fully written into the script from the start, and the environment artists just interpreted it way too literally.

Like, I'm sorry, I don't mean to start off on the wrong foot here by harping on about the cave thing—it's not a perfect example anyway—but to me it's a microcosm for my frustration towards what I perceive to be a lack of creative vision in this film. So much of the film feels like it's not there to be entertaining, or meaningful, or narratively load-bearing... it's just obligatory, something they threw in for the sake of having anything at all. It's colors and sounds. When you see the spiky shape onscreen, you think, "ooh, this film was pretty bouba earlier, but now it's more kiki!" They get the comedian to improvise a few one-liners while the characters walk from place to place. And it's like, yes, this is a film for children. Of course the heroes have an adventure map with a big red X on it. In many respects this is a glorified episode of Pocoyo, or the modern equivalent, which I guess is "Baby Shark | Animal Songs For Children".

Nowhere is this sense of "we are obliged to put this in the movie" felt more strongly than in its supporting cast. When you look closely, you notice that Bumblebee and Elita-1—placed prominently in the film's marketing and being technically present for much of its runtime—don't actually do anything of narrative significance. They don't make choices that impact the story; they're just there, and it would not take much rewriting to excise them entirely, so it's just Orion Pax and Megatron on their little adventure. In fact, I'll just come out and say it: I think Transformers One would have been a better movie if Bumblebee and Elita-1 were not in it.

It helps that, from a Doylist perspective, the motivations for their inclusion are perfectly transparent. Firstly, think of the merchandise! Secondly, in Bumblebee's case, it's fucking Bumblebee, he's the whole reason half the kids will be watching, you can't not have him in there. Whenever Bumblebee's not onscreen, all the other characters should be asking, "where's Bumblebee?" Also, I think the creative team felt that they could use Bumblebee tactically to balance some of the darkness in the story.

In the G1 cartoon, Bumblebee just has the default Autobot personality—good-natured, a little sarcastic—with the dial turned a little more towards friendliness. There's this iconic anecdote from the production that cartoon, where writer David Wise found himself in exactly the same situation Transformers writers are finding themselves in forty years later: he was told to write a story about something called "Vector Sigma", and he had no fucking clue what Vector Sigma was supposed to be. So he asked story editor Bryce Malek, who also had no fucking idea. Malek in turn asked Hasbro, and was told that Vector Sigma was "the computer that gave all the Transformers personalities". Upon hearing this, Malek said, "Well, it didn't do a very good job, did it!" Vector Sigma, in case you missed it, does actually appear in Transformers One, as the polygonal shape that transitions into the Matrix of Leadership in the opening powerpoint; I guess they're one and the same now. Some things never change: in Michael Bay's Transformers movies, there is again just a single default personality that every single Autobot shares, a braggadacious action-hero facade over genuine bloodthirst. Who can forget that iconic moment in Revenge of the Fallen where Bumblebee rips out Ravage's spine in grisly slow-mo?

Aside from the fact that he's small and yellow, Bumblebee in Transformers One bears very little resemblance to any incarnation of the character kids might be accustomed to. Instead, he occupies a stock comic-relief archetype, he's a zany guy who goes "Well, that just happened!" If anything, his one joke in the third act—wanton murder—reads like it could maybe be a reference to his many Mortal Kombat fatalities in Bay's films. Beginning in 2007's Transformers Animated, Bumblebee has sometimes possessed deployable "stingers" that flip out from his hands, as a fun action feature for toys. Clearly someone on Transformers One saw this and thought it was the funniest fucking thing that Bumblebee has "knife hands", because the character spends the third act of the movie just shouting "knife hands!" and cutting people in half like a medieval terror.

(In the UK, Bumblebee's lines were re-recorded at the last minute so he says "sword hands" instead. This is because in the UK, we generally aren't able to kill each other using guns, so it's knives that are the big armed-violence boogeyman. Everyone's always talking about how all the kids have knives. And look, I'm not someone to indulge in moral panic, but genuinely, when I look at Bumblebee chasing around people with knives, saying, "I'm gonna cut these guys, watch!", I'm like... what the fuck were they thinking when they wrote that?)

Frankly, whatever is going on with Bumblebee is just an entirely different movie to everything else that's happening. When Bee shanks his twelfth nameless lackey in a row, the movie's like, awww, you're sweet! But when Megatron tries to kill the one (1) evil dictator who's just fucking branded him, who's still lying to his face while his people continue to die to the guy's fuckin' honor guard, Optimus Prime is like, HELLO, HUMAN RESOURCES?

Bumblebee is solely here to be funny, but there's a point in the film where it needs to become a war story, and the best they can think to do with Bumblebee is to have him kill people but in like, a funny way.

As for Elita-1... look, to put it very bluntly, she is in this movie to be a woman. Transformers has had a long, long forty-year history of boys'-club exclusionism, if not outright misogyny, and each new series usually has a token female character, as a kind of fig-leaf for the fact that really, the only fucking thing Hasbro cares about is that the boys are buying the toys. Beginning in the 1986 movie, it was Arcee who got to be "the pink one" for many years of fiction—but not toys, y'see, when parents want to buy something for their beloved young lad, they don't buy "the pink one", no sir. In the 2010s, wow-cool-OC Windblade took over for a stint as leading lady, decked out in a commercially-non-threatening red color scheme. Recently, though, it's been Elita-1—Optimus Prime's girlfriend from the original '80s cartoon—who's been the go-to female character, and she's increasingly allowed to be pink.

There is a lot of love for these characters amongst creatives and fans alike, and especially in the last decade, female Transformers have been both more numerous and better-written than ever. Unfortunately Transformers One, which depicts Elita-1 as an arms-crossing career-obsessed buzzkill, whose arc sees her learn her place in deference to a less-competent man... well let's just say it struck me as a significant step back in this regard.

There's this great interview with Scarlett Johansson, voice of Elita-1, where she's trying to describe what makes her character interesting, and it's like she's drawing blood from a stone. She's like, "yeah, so Elita-1, I would say, she's on her own journey, because at the start of the film it's sort of like she's working at a big company, you know, and she wants to get a promotion, but then later on she learns that she can't, y'know, get a promotion". Look, it's not that Scarlett Johansson does a bad job—in fact, considering the material she's working with, she practically carries Elita-1 entirely on the back of her performance—it's just that I can't shake the impression that the filmmakers would rather pay Scarlett Johansson god knows how many thousands of dollars than try to think of a second actress that they know of.

As I've already complained, Transformers One has a pretty thin cast, but it effectively only has two other female characters who do anything. Airachnid is a secondary antagonist, Sentinel Prime's spymaster/enforcer, and it's clear that some concept artist really fucking popped off when designing her. She has eyes in the back of her head, and it's ten times creepier than that makes it sound. Her spiderlegs also create some visual interest during fight scenes. As a character, Airachnid has zero internality and is not interesting, but she is cool, so you'll get no complaints from me there.

The film's other other female character is Chromia, who wins the Iacon 5000 race at the last moment. She really comes out of nowhere to clinch it. It's funny, because the leaderboards show this one guy, Mirage, hovering near the top of the rankings for almost the whole sequence. And Chromia's character model really looks suspiciously like Mirage's. In fact, there's a different character who stands around in the background a couple of times who looks much more like Chromia. Funnily enough, that background character is even called Chromia in concept art! So if you connect the dots, it really seems that the "Chromia" who is the best racer on Cybertron was originally meant to be Mirage, a guy, until they switched the character's gender at the very last minute, and didn't bother changing the leaderboards to match.

There are two possible explanations for this. The first is that Mirage was the dark horse of Rise of the Beasts, and for some reason they felt like his depiction in Transformers One would've gotten in the way of their plans for the character somehow. It's plausible, I guess. The second, infinitely funnier option, is that at some point someone working on the movie realised that they only put two women in the film, scrambled to look through the feature to find a suitable character to gender-swap, only to discover to their horror that they'd forgotten to put in any characters whatsoever. Fuck it, the racer guy! He can be a girl. Diversity win, the fastest class traitor on Cybertron... is a woman!

In case you were wondering about the Transformers One toyline leaderboards, by my count, Orion Pax has ten new transforming toys currently announced or in stores, Bumblebee and Megatron have six each, Sentinel Prime has four, Alpha Trion has two, Elita-1 has two, Airachnid has one, Starscream has one, Wheeljack has one, and the Quintesson High Commander has one. In fact, one of Elita-1's toys—the collector-oriented high-quality Studio Series release—isn't scheduled for release until some undetermined point later next year, and she was entirely absent from leaked lists of upcoming releases, which to me smacks of "we realised last-minute that it would look really really bad if we didn't bother to release a good toy of the one woman in the film". Oh, and obviously, Chromia has no toys—but there is an "Iacon Race" three-pack consisting of Megatron, Orion Pax... and Mirage. Go figure.

The thing is, all of the stuff I'm grousing about here is pretty much standard fare for kids' films targeted more at boys. Hell, even The Lego Movie—which is basically the gold standard of toy commercials—gave supporting protagonist Wyldstyle a pretty similar arc to the one Elita-1 gets here, which was probably the weakest element of that film. Evidently conscious of this, Lord & Miller redeemed themselves by devoting the entirety of The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part to deconstructing common narratives surrounding gender roles. I guess I just wish the young girls who presumably comprise some portion of Transformers One theatergoers could actually get anything out of Elita-1 as a character. Ah, what do I know, maybe it's still considered countercultural simply to depict a woman punching people.

Still, to give credit where it's due: Transformers One doesn't remotely touch the gender-essentialism prevalent in the Binder of Revelation, treating female Transformers no differently to their male counterparts in lore terms. Solus Prime is, it seems, just a Prime who happened to be a woman, rather than the mythological Eve after whom all women are patterned. There's a scene where our heroes are gifted the Transformation Cogs of the fallen Primes, and the Primes named thankfully bear no particular relation to the characters; in other words, Elita-1 isn't given Solus Prime's cog. As Alpha Trion puts it: "What defines a Transformer is not the cog in his chest, but the spark that resides in their core." Dude really remembered nonbinary people exist halfway through that sentence huh.

(Actually, the bigger mistake would've been with Megatron: if he was given Megatronus Prime's cog from the start, then this would've created the unfortunate implication that his descent into evil was only the result of Megatronus Prime's fucked up and evil cog, rather than a choice Megatron made of his own free will. The film instead has it the other way around: Megatron's radicalisation into a "might makes right" philosophy is what causes him to covet Megatronus Prime's transformation cog, to steal that power from Sentinel Prime, who stole the cogs of both Megatronus and Megatron in the first place. That's cool! This does create a bit of unfortunate narrative dissonance with Alpha Trion's words, alas, as it does seem like Megatronus Prime's cog really is more powerful than the others, because it gives both Sentinel Prime and Megatron a powerup.)

There's just something that I find so dreadfully mercenary about this movie's cast—honestly, everyone except Orion Pax, Megatron, and maybe Sentinel Prime. Take Darkwing, for example. Bro was clearly designed from the ground up to fill this stock character role of "bully who pushes our guys around and later gets his comeuppance". For a more interesting take on that exact same archetype, look no further than Todd Sureblade from Nimona, a bigoted knight who gets a whole damn character arc in the background, which directly complements that film's main themes.

Again, I'm not playing some kind of guessing game here, the authorial evidence is right there: Darkwing didn't even have a name until Hasbro designer Mark Maher was shown a picture of the character and asked, "If this was a Decepticon flyer, who would it be?" This is actually par for the course with ILM; most of their concept art is labelled with very basic descriptions, with the exact trademarks being picked in conjunction with Hasbro at a later point. Darkwing just stands out in Transformers One because he's the only recurring speaking character who's an OC in all but name (unless you count Bumblebee), he's the one guy who's been invented from scratch with total creative freedom, and he's boring as sin. It's like the filmmakers just couldn't conceive of a children's movie without that stock character—and they clearly had no idea what to do with him once they'd invented him, because he disappears entirely from the film at the start of the third act, when Orion Pax throws him into an arcade cabinet, which they have in the mines on Cybertron for some reason.

In a film with as painfully few named speaking characters as Transformers One, there's really no excuse for having this kind of one-dimensionality in their portrayals. Genuinely, I ask—who are Orion Pax and Megatron fighting to liberate? Jazz, one of the biggest personalities from the original G1 cartoon, who gets all of two boilerplate lines here? Cooley seems to think so:

As you’re designing them the background characters are almost like Lego pieces where you put different heads on different bodies just to fill in a crowd. But some of them would be brought forward and be painted specific colors so that it represents a character that I didn’t know was such a big deal. But there was stuff—like Jazz, for example, has a pretty big role. It was important to have a relationship with a character that we know gets to be saved.

To me, the idea that casual cinemagoers would be invested in any of the Transformers as characters is laughable. Michael Bay's characters are famous for being hateful non-entities. In terms of the films, Jazz is best remembered for dying at the end of the first one, seventeen years ago; he looks completely different here. The one breakout character in recent years—Mirage, as played by Pete Davidson in Rise of the Beasts—was, as I've already mentioned, written out so that the movie could reach its girl quota... not that he would've had any lines anyway.

And I just don't buy the idea that the complete dearth of compelling characterisation in this film is just an unfortunate side-effect of its clipped one-hour-thirty runtime—that, given even half an hour longer, the film would suddenly be crowded with rich portrayals of all your Transformers faves. Bumblebee and Elita-1, ostensibly two of the most important characters in the film, are not in this movie because the movie is interested in telling their stories. They are in this movie for the sake of being in this movie. It insists upon itself.

IV. No politics means no politics

In fact, putting aside merchandising considerations, Elita-1 and Bumblebee serve one very specific purpose in narrative terms. The trait Optimus Prime and Megatron have always had in common is that they are both leaders—and what is a leader, without anyone to lead? Without Bumblebee and Elita-1, you'd have this farcical situation where the only person Optimus Prime ever gets to boss around is Megatron, until the very end of the movie when God makes him king of all Cybertron. The High Guard, Starscream's gang of exiles, serve a similar narrative purpose for Megatron; they're a ready-made army who've just been sitting around waiting for him to show up and take charge.

Towards the end, the movie does actually take care to show both Orion Pax and Megatron rallying groups of Cybertronians: in Pax's case, he reveals the truth to his legion of interchangable miner friends, while Megatron riles up the High Guard mob. Again, there's a bit of that narrative sleight-of-hand, a bit of a thematic cop-out, where the question of "how do Optimus Prime and Megatron come to be leaders of their factions?" is answered only in the most literal possible interpretation. Yes, we technically see the exact chain of events that lead to this point—but both characters are portrayed as born leaders. We don't see them grow into the role, except physically. The moment Megatron decides he wants to rule, he's able to take charge. Likewise, Optimus Prime just gets divinely appointed by God. At a key point, Megatron loudly declares "I will never trust a so-called leader ever again", and the movie plays a fucking scare chord like this is supposed to be ominous. Like, oh no! Optimus Prime is a leader! And they're friends! Whatever will Megatron do when he finds out his friend, Optimus Prime, is a leader?

I don't think the movie has given any real thought to what a leader actually is. It seems to take a stance that power cannot be taken, i.e. through violent action, as Sentinel Prime and Megatron do. That one scene with Elita-1 suggests the most important trait for a leader to have, above and beyond any particular competency, is simply hope and optimism. What I just can't wrap my head around is the fact that the counterpoint the movie presents to Megatron, in the form of Orion Pax becoming Optimus Prime, does not support a belief in collective action or basic democracy—rather, it's a boring sword-in-the-stone divine-right-of-kings fantasy.

Except I do have a theory for why the film is like this. Let's look again at that interview with Eric Pearson, who came onboard in the "late middle" of production:

One of the first things that I did was a big pass on Sentinel Prime. I just felt like he was too obviously telegraphing his wickedness in previous versions, and I felt like, “No, he’s a carnival barker.” He’s got to be a big salesman. He’s a bullshitter, honestly is what he is.

(Honestly, if this is Sentinel after a "big pass" to make his villainy more of a twist, I shudder to think what the earlier drafts were like.)

Now, let's see how WIRED introduces their interview with Josh Cooley, titled "Transformers One Isn't as Silly as It Looks":

He liked the script, which traces how Optimus Prime (Chris Hemsworth) and Megatron (Brian Tyree Henry) went from friends to enemies. But as the world went into lockdown as Covid-19 spread, Cooley found his story changing, if only slightly. Trump was still in office when Cooley started working on the film, and he was having meetings with the producers and they’d “start these meetings off on Zoom just going, like, ‘Holy crap what is going on in this world?’” he says. Ultimately, the infighting they were seeing between Democrats and Republicans in the same family became an undercurrent in the film’s friends-to-enemies storyline, “because that’s what Transformers is.”

So it's like, oh, this is a 2016 election thing. This is just that one election that broke everyone's brains. Of course this movie about a made-up political struggle on an alien planet being developed from 2015-2020 wouldn't be like, hey, you know what might fix our society's problems, is if we had an election. Of course the main villain is a "big salesman" "bullshitter" who says things like "The truth is what I make it!". Wow, guys, your film is so-o-o politically-conscious, and very pretty.

The fantasy is more or less that Donald Trump's army of reactionaries is marching on Washington to seize power through violent means, and on the way he drops Joe Biden into the Grand Canyon, but just before Joe hits the ground a giant fucking bald eagle swoops in to catch him and squawks, "God finds you worthy! Arise, President Biden!"

In our escapist little morality play, our best friend slash allegorical dad gets made king of the planet, and we all get jobs in the government. As in, one of the funniest lines in the movie is straightup Bumblebee exulting, "This is the greatest day of my life. I get to work for the government!" When Prime met Bumblebee—an hour ago—the dude was talking to imaginary friends, and honestly the only fucking skill he's demonstrated since then is cold-blooded murder. We have this dissonance in the storytelling, where it's mostly a story about four friends going on an adventure (are they even friends? Most of them hate each other!), but it's also a founding-fathers political origin story, which means there comes a point where our hero just suddenly starts bossing his friends around in a deep voice, and they're like, "Yes, sir!" It creates this unhinged situation where the "good" faction on Cybertron is ruled by the biblical chosen one and his nepotism buddies.

Per that quote from WIRED (or are they just putting words in Cooley's mouth? I can't help but notice they don't give an exact quote!), the film is ultimately sympathetic to the bad guys (the Republicans, I guess). It deliberately suggests that there is really nothing that should divide the Autobots and the Decepticons: their political goals, it claims, are identical, and they only disagree on the means by which to achieve them. The Decepticons, who are angry and hateful, have simply been misled by a power-hungry liar with charisma—first Sentinel, then Megatron—and so the tragedy is that they are artificially pushed into conflict with their fellow men, when really they should be uniting to stand against their common enemy, the foreigner illuminati trying to steal Cybertron's wealth.

Now, I know I've just handed you a get-out-of-jail-free card. My political allegory here is chock full of holes. What, are Sentinel Prime and Megatron both Donald Trump? Get a grip. Obviously any real-world commentary in Transformers One was only intended in the loosest sense imaginable: things like, "people should be free to change into whatever they want!" I'm being unfair, I'm reading too much into it, this is a cartoon movie for children, and if I want politics, I should start reading some fucking books. Also, come to mention it, my whole argument about that cave earlier really didn't hold water, and- I know, alright? I know.

V. Place / Place, Cybertron

I'm not mad at this toy commercial because its politics don't quite align with mine. I'm not mad at it for having a boring-ass supporting cast. I'm not mad at it for reheating a bunch of half-baked lore I didn't care for from the early 2010s. I've actually spent a lot of time mad about Transformers media that I've thought was bad. There's Transformers: Armada, where the English translators are fully asleep at the wheel and render even the most basic cartoon plots incomprehensible though constant mistranslations. There's Transformers: Micromasters, where two white guys wrote a downtrodden race of tiny Cybertronians who greet each other like "Wattup, my micro!". There's the recent series of Transformers: EarthSpark, where there's an episode that I can only describe as "the Wonka Experience but it's an episode of a children's cartoon", with a plotline that mostly revolves around our child heroes straightup robbing a Onceler-looking businessman of his most valuable possession. There's Transformers: Age of Extinction, with that one scene, and also the rest of that movie. In fact, I would go so far as to say that most Transformers fiction is some combination of bad, offensive, and offensively bad.

So even though I've just spent thousands of words whinging and moaning about how I didn't like Transformers One, the truth is that I had a perfectly nice time at the cinema. I got to go see it with five of my pals who love Transformers just as much as I do, and we had a blast. It is easily in the top 50% of all Transformers fiction.

Unfortunately, for whatever reason, I guess I've always given a lot of thought to what Transformers looks like from the outside. Maybe it's that I'm compelled to spend so much time and money on it, that it somehow compels me to vomit up these kinds of essays, and all I want is to be able to make it make sense to anyone in my life. It would be so, so nice if I could just sit down in the cinema with a friend or family member for a couple of hours, and at the end of it, they'd be able to walk out and say, "Okay, I guess I see what you get out of it." Rise of the Beasts was kind of that movie for me, but Rise of the Beasts is also the seventh instalment in a blockbuster franchise. It kind of takes for granted everything about Transformers.

It doesn't answer, "what the fuck is a Transformer anyway?"

For many years now, fans have noticed a marked aversion to using the word "transform" as a verb, or even as a noun. Optimus Prime no longer says, "Autobots, transform and roll out!", he just says, "Roll out!". Transformers no longer transform, they "convert". In fact, Transformers are no longer Transformers at all: they are "Transformers bots", the italics here serving to distinguish a registered trademark. This is because the worms in suits at Hasbro are worried that, if they continue to use the word "transform" by its dictionary definition—that is, to change—then rival toy companies will be able to make the case that anything that transforms can legally be described as a Transformer. It will become a generic trademark, like Velcro, or Band-Aid, or Dumpster.

Yet in Transformers One, "Transformers" is not just the noun by which the characters are referred to—rather, it's used in a descriptive sense to specifically mean "Cybertronians who can transform"! Characters are constantly talking about whether they can or can't transform. Prime gets to say his catchphrase in full. It's a miracle. Not only that, characters even get to say the word "kill" instead of "defeat" or "destroy".

Transformers One has a level of unrestricted creative freedom not seen since the 1986 animated film. This is a film unconstrained by location shooting, or licensing deals, or uncooperative actors; through the magic of CGI, for every single frame of its one-hour-thirty runtime, the filmmakers can put literally whatever they want on the screen. They were given the assignment, "Make an animated prequel set on Cybertron telling the origin story of Optimus Prime and Megatron", handed an estimated $147 million and a blank page, and told to go nuts. Like those born with transformation cogs, Transformers One had the power to become anything it wanted to be.

The 1986 animated film took that carte blanche to do whatever the fuck it wanted, and basically singlehandedly defined the direction of the franchise ever since. On a lore level, in terms of tone, I would say that Transformers owes practically everything to The Transformers: The Movie. Cartoons, comics, films, and video games have adapted every single one of its scenes countless times over. I'm not necessarily saying that it's a good film, or even that it's a particularly original film—much of it is ripped off from Star Wars—just that it took the franchise somewhere it hadn't gone before. It was looking to the future. As in, literally, it was set in 2005, at the time two decades into the future.

What gets me down about Transformers One is that—like most major franchise media released since The Force Awakens—all it can do is think about the past. Swathes of it are devoted to painstakingly recreating or setting up the various bits of iconography which have arbitrarily come to define the franchise. Even when it appears to be taking things in a new direction, it's not long before it course-corrects back into familiar territory: Steve Buscemi invents a surprisingly fresh take on Starscream's voice, and then Megatron half-strangles him to death, saddling him with a post-produced rasp to emulate Chris Latta's iconic performance from forty years ago.

The very title of the film, Transformers One, is an allusion to the line, "Till all are one," which originates in The Transformers: The Movie. In an early script for that '80s feature, it was actually "Till all life sparks are one", referring to a literal metaphysical process in that draft whereby one Transformer's life force could be passed on to another, presumably with the belief that they would all eventually be merged into a single afterlife. In the finalized story, it's just this kind of mystical phrase vaguely evoking concepts of togetherness and unity.

Transformers One brushes up against the phrase a couple of times. Alpha Trion almost says it at one point, when passing on his dead siblings' transformation cogs: "They were one. You are one. All are one!" Whatever that means. Later, Orion Pax starts a chant amongst the miners: "Together as one!" And finally, at the very end of the movie, during his obligatory film-ending monologue, Optimus Prime again goes: "And now, we stand here together... as one." (Half of Cybertron has just been banished to the surface forever.) "[...] Here, all are truly... Autobots." (Again, half of Cybertron- Optimus, what the fuck are you talking about?) Regardless, this is inexplicably the one instance where the movie doesn't twist itself up into knots trying to nail the exact phrasing.

Actually, there is one other sideways reference like this I can think of. Early in the film, Orion Pax is chatting up Elita, and he remarks, "Feel like I have enough power in my to drill down and touch Primus himself." To which Elita replies, "You don't have the touch or the power." This is kind of a nonsensical retort unless you know that in the 1986 movie, one of the most iconic songs on the soundtrack was "The Touch" by Stan Bush, which had the chorus line: "You got the touch! You got the power!" It's a banger. Anyway, remember when I said Darkwing gets chucked through an arcade cabinet? Well, here's Cooley revealing why that arcade cabinet is in the film:

I actually wrote [that exchange between Orion Pax and Elita] because I love that song. [...] And we had this one version where D-16 and Orion were playing a video game, like a stand-up old arcade game—it was inspired to look like that, but a Cybertonian version of that. They’re playing that together like friends and the song, like the 8-bit song that’s playing is ["The Touch"]. But that scene got nixed. And so I wanted to work it in there somewhere. And I just felt like a natural place for it. But that was one where I’m like, "I just love that song and those lyrics and that’s Transformers to me so I want to get that in there."

(I've had to amend that quote to fill in the blanks where the article has redacted "spoilers" for the movie. Spoiler culture is an absolute pox, I swear. Can't have the audiences knowing about one (1) mid joke in advance—the movie barely has enough jokes to fill a "Transformers One Funny Moments" compilation as it is!)

This actually isn't the first time Hasbro has "nixed" a reference to "The Touch" in major Transformers media. In the Transformers: Cyberverse episode "The Alliance", a character references "The Touch" right before a training montage which is clearly supposed to have the track playing, except instead it's been replaced by a generic rock instrumental, presumably because they couldn't afford the license. And in Daniel Warren Johnson's Eisner-award-winning bestselling comic run, there's one panel where he clearly wanted to include the song's lyrics as a sound effect, but wasn't allowed, so the final sound effect famously reads "YOU KNOW THE SONG". But that's a random episode of a bargain-bin cartoon, and an indie-darling comic series—not a $147 million blockbuster. You really have to wonder if it came down to money, or if it was something else. God knows Transformers One would not actually be improved for having a chiptune remix of "The Touch" in it, anyway.

The most egregious misplaced bit of fanwank in the film isn't even in dialogue. In the 1986 film, there's this one iconic moment when Optimus Prime arrives at the besieged Autobot City, drives through a crowd of Decepticons in truck mode, then fires some afterburners, launching his cab up into the air, where he transforms mid-leap, drawing his blaster to shoot a couple of Decepticons before hitting the ground. It's a fantastic bit of original animation. It's the Akira slide of Transformers. And, surprise surprise, it crops up in Transformers One. In the climactic final fight, Orion Pax shows up to save Megatron, and he does the thing.

But the problem is... he's not in truck mode! The film just cuts to him standing there in the middle of some anonymous mooks, then he does a standing jump into the air, the movie momentarily goes into extreme slow-mo like he's doing a fucking quick-time event, then he shoots a couple of guys and drops to the ground. There's no momentum. It exists purely to create that simulacrum, to take the single most iconic frame from that bit of 1986 animation, and stretch that one frame into infinity. The context is discarded, irrelevant. All that matters is that brief moment of recognition: "I know what that iiis!" God knows Transformers One has precious little in the way of impactful fight animation of its own; the choreography is stiff and uninspired, while the shots themselves are nauseatingly cluttered. Often, the best it can do is pilfer from older, better stories.

"Did you clap at any of the new moments and memorable characters?" "Were there any?"

Look, I get it. Transformers One is a prequel. By definition, it can't change the future. It has to play with the characters that are already in the toybox. But I do think it had this really special opportunity: to show theatregoers where the Transformers come from. To show us Cybertron not as a distant star or a barren scrapyard, but as a living, thriving alien world, unlike Earth, something special and worth protecting in its own right. Something new and memorable. In Rise of the Beasts—probably the best Transformers movie by default—when Optimus Prime is at his lowest, he wants nothing more to return home... but home is something we've only ever seen as a cold dystopia, ruled by Decepticons. The version of Transformers One I had hoped to see was one that would have imbued Optimus' homesickness with greater meaning. I wanted to feel his loss, and to hope that one day the war will end, and Cybertron can be restored.

I think Transformers One sincerely tries to achieve this effect. The concept artists have clearly put a great deal of time and thought into Cybertron as an environment. When the artbook comes out, I'm keen to see how much stuff didn't make it into the finished film. You have to assume most of it got cut, because there's next to nothing left!

At the end of the film, battle lines are drawn, the civil war is about to start... but strangely, the movie's setting does not convey the sense that anything beautiful is being lost. Nobody is unwillingly turned to violence, innocence-lost; they're all too eager to get to killing, friggin' Bumblebee is gleeful about it. There's no beautiful, iconic landmark, which gets tragically destroyed, like in some kind of Transformers 9/11—"What have we done! Where will this war take us!". There's no part of Cybertron's natural ecological environment to be ruined by the war, because the surface world is already turbofucked by the Quintessons to begin with. No, rather, we have the total opposite: Optimus Prime finding the Matrix (which was just, like, hanging out in the core of Cybertron or whatever) actually restores Energon to the planet, removing the unnatural scarcity which was the entire impetus behind the film's dystopia. He made Cybertron great again. So again, Transformers One fails to answer one of the most fundamental questions one might expect of a Transformers prequel: "When did things on Cybertron get so bad?" The movie ends with the planet in better shape to how it started!

The big original idea that Transformers One has is that Cybertron, the planet itself, should be in a constant state of transformation. I've already talked about the beautiful shapeshifting landscapes, but it's also the moving buildings, the complicated mechanisms, the roads and rails that magically lay themselves between the vehicles and their destinations. I've already mentioned how odd I find it that none of these environmental transformations have any significance to the story; the closest it comes to some sort of payoff is when Orion Pax falls into the hole that makes you king.

What I find most perplexing are the deer. When the gang makes it to the surface, the idea is to show the natural beauty of the surface, which the cogless have been denied their whole lives. The mountains glisten as they move. Nebulae glow in the night sky. The surface is blanketed in organic (?) plantlife, like a watering can forgotten in a garden. And, most strikingly, there are deer: mechanical animals, just like those found on Earth, being hunted for sport by the evil Quintessons. When the cruisers near, their glowing horns turn red with alarm, and they prance around in fear.

I'm reminded of a brief gag from the third season of Transformers: Cyberverse—one of very few shows to have devoted any serious effort to Cybertronian worldbuilding—in the episode "Thunderhowl". Bumblebee and Chromia stumble across a "singlehorn" (read: unicorn), and when it senses danger, it neighs, transforms into a rocket, and blasts out of frame. And apart from being really cute and funny, it's like, oh, of course that's what animals are like on Cybertron! Everything on this planet transforms. Why not the animals?

For whatever reason, the deer in Transformers One are like the one thing that don't transform. Why the hell not? If Cyberverse could find the budget for its split-second sight gag, surely this blockbuster could, I don't know, have them turn into dirt bikes with antler-handlebars. That would've been something, right? If not, then at least could we maybe see some other animals on Cybertron, to really get across that alien biodiversity? Of course not. See, the deer exist to communicate one very specific story beat: a single moment of trepidation, where the heroes know there's danger nearby, but they don't know what. And all you need for that is a single kind of prey animal, with some kind of warning light to let you know, hey, there's danger! Once this purpose is fulfilled, the deer have no further significance to the story.

We need only look to BIONICLE 2: Legends of Metru Nui to see this exact same beat play out with a modicum of competence and creative flair. Also in the second act—in fact, at practically the exact same timestamp—our heroes, the Toa, have a run-in with the bad guys, and they're nearly captured... but then there's this sudden rumble of danger approaching, we don't know what. It turns out to be a herd of giant Kikanalo! They send the bad guys packing, except they nearly trample our heroes too! But then, Toa Nokama's mask begins to glow, and she discovers that her mask grants her the ability to talk to animals. They learn some vital information from the Kikanalo, and are able to ride the creatures for the next stage of their adventure. Finally, when they can go no further, the Kikanalo cave in the passage behind the heroes to ensure they won't be pursued. Holy shit, that's like, five different story beats with just that one type of creature!

It's not just that Transformers One struggles with that kind of basic narrative flow, where a single element serves multiple purposes. It's that often, it wastes precious time creating redundant setups to achieve the same effect twice.

For example, Megatronus Prime's face happens to look exactly like (what we know will be) the Decepticon insignia. At the beginning of the movie, Orion Pax mollifies Megatron by giving him a rare decal of Megatronus Prime's face. Traditionally, Megatron wears his insignia in the middle of his chest—but in this film, nearly every character has a big hole in the middle of their chest, where their missing transformation cog should go. So Megatron sticks the decal on his shoulder instead.

Later, he gets a cog, and the hole in his chest is filled. When Sentinel Prime captures Megatron, he notices the Megatronus sticker, and rips it off. Then, he re-applies it on Megatron's chest—purely so it's in the "right" place for the iconography. And then, he uses his gun to crudely brand Megatron with a tracing of Megatronus' face, inadvertently creating the Decepticon symbol. Finally, in a post-credits scene, Megatron has fashioned a proper Decepticon brand with which to brand himself and his followers. So in effect, there are four separate moments where Megatron gets the symbol! Orion sticking it on his shoulder, Sentinel moving it to his chest, Sentinel mutilating him, and finally Megatron branding himself. You can make an argument that the symbol starts out meaning one thing, but ends up meaning another thing, which has a kind of tragic significance—but I think you would struggle to distinguish subtle shades of meaning from all four of these brandings. Considering the movie only has an hour and a half to work with, I find this lack of narrative economy to be honestly embarrassing.

(My friend Jo also points out what a misstep it is to just have Megatronus Prime's face perfectly resemble the Decepticon symbol from the start. Had it been a looser, more stylised—that is to say, original—design, the moment where Sentinel Prime roughly carves it into Megatron's chest could be a shocking reveal, as the basic outlines are abstracted and simplified. Gasp, that's the origin of the Decepticon symbol! Instead, from the very moment that sticker first shows up, it's like... oh, well, there it is I guess.)

In a similar vein, both Optimus Prime and Megatron undergo two different transformations at different points in the movie: first, when Alpha Trion gives them transformation cogs, and second, when respectively they obtain the Matrix of Leadership/Megatronus' cog. The gun that sprouts from Megatron's arm in his intermediary form bears a much closer to resemblance to his iconic "fusion cannon" than the triple-barrelled cannon he ends up with in his final form. Again, in such a short film, can we really say whatever subtlety this brings to Megatron's arc is worth all this fanfare? Now, Redditors ask: "What is the EXACT moment D-16 became Megatron?"

In fact, probably the only point of criticism I've seen levied at Transformer One from within the Transformers fandom at large is that Megatron's arc is maybe a little "rushed". He starts out being best bros forever with Orion Pax, and by the end of the film, he's ready to drop the guy into a bottomless pit. The film takes a lot of time to justify his anger at Sentinel Prime, but the deterioration of his friendship with Orion goes much more unspoken, and is framed more as a point of irrationality: psychologically, Megatron comes to conflate his bossy friend with his oppressive ruler. I liked this, personally. I liked that it's as if a switch gets flipped in Megatron's head. But you do just kind of have to buy into it. The film itself does not put in the work to really sell you on the friendship souring, because again, it's too busy fucking around with two (2) magical girl transformation sequences for each of them.

Everything in the film is like this. They go into the cave and meet Alpha Trion, then leave the cave so they can watch a FMV cutscene with Sentinel Prime and the Quintessons, who've coincidentally arrived at that exact moment, basically just to rehash what they've just been told... and then they go back into the cave so Alpha Trion can resume his infodump, and then they end up clashing with Sentinel Prime's forces once that's done. At the beginning of the movie, they're at the very bottom in the mines, then they get banished to an even lower level, then they banish themselves all the way up to the surface, then they return to Iacon, and then Megatron gets banished to the surface again so he can be mesmerized by the beauty of the world and/or get gunched by Quintessons depending on what the film wanted me to take away from this. Compare to Minecraft but I survive in PARKOUR CIVILIZATION [FULL MOVIE], where the theme of class struggle is pretty efficiently depicted in the vertically-stratified setting.

I just find it so wasteful. Outside of the one scene where they're introduced, the Quintessons—ostensibly the true architects of Cybertron's oppressive status quo—may as well not exist. If not for Orion Pax addressing his closing remarks to the Quintessons, almost as an afterthought, I'd assume the film wants us to forget about them entirely, as it knows full well that its paltry runtime does not give it time for a second action-climax against the aliens. Even as sequel bait, it feels halfhearted at best; Josh Cooley is clearly already bored of Transformers, and seems unlikely to come back for another round unless the money is really really good (which *glances at the box office* it's not). So what the fuck are the Quintessons here for? Was the idea that Sentinel might just have pulled off his coup singlehandedly really so hard to stomach? Could the conspiracy not have been simplified to just involve Sentinel and his Transformer cronies? Hang on, are all the Transformers seen at the start of the film in on it, or just some of them? How's it decided who keeps their cogs and who doesn't?

VI. Into nothing

Why does this movie, where the main selling point is ostensibly that we're getting to see Transformers civilization for the first time, mostly focus on all these guys who can't fucking transform? Surely the entire thing that makes the setting fun is the Zootopia angle of, look, they're all different animals! Or the Elemental angle of, look, they're all different elements! Or the Emoji Movie angle of, look, they're all different emoji! Or the Cars angle of, look, they're all different cars! This is a Transformers film which features several significant sequences involving these cool trains, and there is absolutely zero indication that these trains are themselves Transformers. This is a Transformers film which extensively focuses on miners, and none of them transform into mining vehicles; they're holding, friggin', space jackhammers. Even the premise of "isn't it sad that these ones can't transform" is kind of undercut by the fact that all the miners get to wear fucking jetpacks, which is a frankly much cooler and more effective method of locomotion than driving.

I'm just sick of Transformers stories having zero interest in the basic premise of Transformers, which is to say, they transform into something. I also think this is the biggest dissonance between casual audiences, who think "oh yeah, Optimus Prime, that guy who turns into a truck", and Transformers fans, who think, "oh yeah, Optimus Prime, the messiah or something". Normal people love to know what the Transformers turn into. They ask, "Wait, is there a Transformer that turns into [insert silly vehicle here]?" Of course people are interested in that angle! Vehicles are such a huge part of our daily lives—honestly, for those of us living in cities, more so than animals, the classical elements, or emoji—but the closest Transformers One comes to engaging with this lens is that aforementioned Iacon 5000 race sequence. By and large, it presents a world which is made for standing up and walking around. And personally I do think that's an insane approach to take?

Is the excuse that cars can't emote? Nonsense. If you've ever seen a traffic jam, you'll know that cars can sure as hell emote. Pixar, where Josh Cooley cut his teeth, famously spent a lot of time working out how to put a facial expression on a car. No, the problem dates back to the very start of the franchise.

In the 1980s, two main people were responsible for writing the comic stories: American writer Bob Budiansky, and British writer Simon Furman. Budiansky approached the premise of the franchise from an external, human perspective, writing about culture clash, and taking delight in the Transformers' mechanical alien nature as "robots in disguise". Meanwhile, Furman wrote the Transformers as giant people: he focused on their own internal conflicts and motivations, and the grand history of their war. Pretty much every Transformers story ever told can be boiled down to one of these schools of thought: Budianskian, or Furmanist.

Budiansky quit the comic after fifty issues, allowing Furman to take the reigns as sole writer, and Furman basically got the final word on what the Transformers are. They did not evolve from naturally-occurring gears, levers and pulleys. They were not designed by a supercomputer, or built by an alien race. They are the chosen sons of God. The Thirteen are, of course, an invention of Furman's. And Transformers One is perhaps the most Furmanist story ever told. It's the culmination of years and years of lore building up, ossifying into something you can no longer describe as the history of a universe—no, this is a mythology. It's the most perfect form of brand alignment imaginable: this is not an origin story, this is the origin story. It's been the origin story for a better part of the decade—and now that everyone's seen it in theatres, it will be the origin story forever.

It's not just the fiction, either, by the way. These days, if you go into the store to buy a Transformers toy, chances are it'll turn into some misshapen made-up futuristic concept car with unpainted windows and wheels that don't even roll—and that's terrible.

There's truly a lot to hate about Michael Bay's Transformers films, but with each new entry that's released following his departure from the franchise, I feel like I only find myself appreciating them more. In the 2007 Transformers movie, we see the Transformers crash-landing on Earth in their "protoforms", and their movements are animated like they're shy, like they're naked until they scan an Earth vehicle and adopt a disguise. The visual impact of Megatron, meanwhile, is that he doesn't adopt a disguise in that movie: he's a horrible metal skeleton that turns into a jet made of knives. It's weird and alien and it rules.

In the 1980s Transformers cartoon, and in the last-minute Cybertron-set prologue added to Bumblebee, and now in Transformers One, the Transformers look basically the same on Cybertron as they eventually do upon their arrival to Earth. Optimus Prime turns, unmistakably, into a truck. He has windows on his chest, and smokestacks on his arms. He doesn't have these features because he disguises himself as an Earth truck. He has those details because that's just what Optimus Prime looks like. They're his "essential brand elements", or "trademark details", which "identify the must-have elements in character design to be carried across all creative expressions". Prime may take any form he wishes, so long as it looks exactly like himself. A mask of my own face—I'd wear that.

What I find fucked up about the reception towards Transformers One is that a lot of people seemed very invested in its success—and not its popular success, certainly not its artistic success, but rather its commercial success. They wanted this to be the first film to make one bumblebillion dollars. They wanted Hasbro to line its fucking pockets and make movies like this forever. So if you express any kind of negativity towards this film online, which might theoretically affect some other person's decision of whether or not to go and see it, which might theoretically affect the profit it makes at the cinema, which might theoretically affect the future of the franchise in some unknown way, then you're some sort of fandom traitor who oughta be executed.

If you're so worried about the future of the franchise, the fandom really isn't where you should be looking. Like, c'mon, the Transformers fandom has been good as gold, we buy so many toys. Meanwhile, Hasbro just got finished laying off around 100 employees with no warning to make their books look a bit better. Transformers designer John Warden—who'd worked at Hasbro for 25 years, is widely credited with inventing the modern paradigm of Transformers toylines, and ultimately became the creative director of both Transformers and G.I. Joe—was on assignment to a convention in the UK with the rest of the Transformers team when he heard the news. Suffice to say, he did not end up making a public appearance at the convention. With his work's health insurance snatched away without notice, he's had to resort to crowdfunding to pay his family's medical bills. As a well-known figure in the toy industry, he will presumably find a new job and land on his feet, but the same cannot be said for all 99 of the remaining employees we're told have been unceremoniously dumped.

The Binder of Revelation, which has been something of a holy grail of behind-the-scenes material for over a decade, has finally been leaked—presumably by one of these guys, presumably out of spite.

Now, I'm not going to pretend to have been paying particularly close attention to Hasbro's financials, but from where I'm sitting, it sure seems that ever since the sudden death of then-CEO Brian Goldner in 2021—credited for saving the company in 2000, and overseeing the explosive growth of its intellectual property ever since then—his replacement, Chris P. Cocks (or "Crispy Cocks", as we're all now calling him), has been dead set on gutting the company for all it's worth. The Power Rangers franchise, which the company acquired for $522 million in 2018, is dead in the water, with huge quantities of physical assets being flogged at auction for quick cash. In 2019, they acquired the entertainment company eOne for $4.0 billion, and now they're selling off the whole shebang (except the cash-printing Peppa Pig franchise) for just $500 million. I guess maybe they just fucked it big style?

Because now, Crispy Cocks has proudly announced that Hasbro is going to stop financing movies altogether.

I'm sure that in the wake of this announcement, many of those aforementioned fandom pundits will be drawing a correlation between this announcement, and the box-office figures for Transformers One, and the fact that you personally failed to convince your Mom to go see it with you or whatever. "Ah, you see! They didn't make enough of their money back, and now they're consolidating. Simple economic cause and effect. Market forces." And look, I'm not going to sit here and claim these things are wholly unrelated. Of course they're very related. But I am going to make the case that, in truth, nobody at Hasbro really cared how Transformers One did. Unless it turned out to be some pie-in-the-sky runaway hit, I don't think the future of the Transformers film franchise would've been particularly different if only the film had done better.

With Paramount, Hasbro has been making these movies and having them underperform ever since 2017's The Last Knight—which apparently lost Paramount $100 million—and that's because at the end of the day, what they're most interested in isn't making movies. It's making toy commercials. And on that level, the Transformers films have clearly been a success so far.

Now, Crispy Cocks' skinsuit fashions itself as a gamer, so he can personify Hasbro's hardcore pivot towards digital and tabletop gaming. While we await the release of the assuredly-dogshit, assuredly-hell-to-have-worked-on, assuredly-never-coming-out Transformers: Reactivate, the brand has been whored out to a procession of mobile games you've never heard of, glorified gambling machines designed to hack the monkey part of your brain with bright colors and Things You Recognize. The exact content of these games is irrelevant; all that matters is the announcement, on every single pop culture news outlet simultaneously (naturally—they're all owned by the same company, talk about Monopoly), of New Collaboration Between Transformers And Goon Warriors Free To Download Now. Your daily, weekly, bi-annual reminder to think about that thing you can buy.

That's all any of this stuff is.

All these words spilled about what a good movie Transformers One is, and how bad it is, and why the marketing failed it, and what the next one might be like, and- none of it mattered! It does not matter. From the beginning, this movie was always going to be too preoccupied with its own mercenary interests to be something anyone would ever be able to seriously talk about as a work of art, even corporate art. The actual content of the movie is irrelevant; I've spent very little of this review talking about it, because there's nothing there to talk about. It is the mere fact of the movie's existence that serves its purpose. Like the Optimus Prime Fortnite skin, it's enough for it to occupy our attention.

Maybe that's why they staggered the film's release date: because some marketing exec watched the rough cut and realised, if everyone saw it at once, we'd be done talking about it within a fortnight. And in ten years' time, after it has been paraded around whichever streaming services survive 'til then, and nearly every last cent of revenue has been squeezed out of it, the kids will be able to watch it on YouTube with ad breaks, and decide what they want for Christmas.

To the Transformers fans reading this, I am begging you, unless you happen to own shares in Hasbro for some fucking reason, to disabuse yourself of the feeling that you owe any kind of loyalty to a toy franchise. It shouldn't matter to you one jot how Transformers One did in theatres. The people who actually make the product you care about, the friendly faces paraded before you on livestreams and press tours, don't see this money anyway—they too are merely assets, who can be fired and replaced with cheaper, inferior equivalents.

I'm sure many of you will have, from the very start, seen this review for the foolish endeavour it is. I've wasted all this time criticising Transformers One for its lack of artistic vision, when the truth is, Transformers One is playing an entirely different game. Like the Disney Channel running "Fishy Facts!" segments to subliminally get kids interested in fish a full year and a half before the release of Finding Nemo, this is not a product—it's an ad for a product.

...

Okay I'll be honest, I don't entirely love where this review has ended up. It ends on kind of a "bummer note", I guess you could say. Flashing back to sections I. and II., I feel like things started out so fun. We had that whole bit at the start where I was telling you about the Transformers, remember that? We learned so much together. And there were even a few moments where I was able to express some kind of sincere joy and appreciation over this thing that I supposedly adore so much. Sure, I did a lot of complaining, but it was fun complaining, right? It had like, a sarcastic edge to it, sort of.

What happened? Why am I suddenly talking like I want to cut someone's head off? As I grow more bitter, I type this essay with increasing difficulty. The massive gun that's sprouted from my forearm keeps colliding with my monitor.

Hasbro descends from on high to reward @TFHypeGuy, a grown-ass adult who has spent untold unpaid hours fearlessly replying to every single viral tweet to tell people to go see the film, somehow netting himself 80,000 followers in the process, with a crate of toys, which was probably his end goal from the start. He and I duel. We trade blow after blow. Finally, he clobbers me with a Walmart-exclusive light-up Ultimate Energon Optimus Prime figure. "It didn't have to end this way," he says. Then he banishes me to the surface world to think on my sins.

VII. The Wrong Trousers 👖 | Train Chase Scene 🚂 | Wallace & Gromit

When Eric Pearson came onto the project,

It was late middle of the game. They had a script that had the outline of the story, which is still very much the structural bones of the story now. But what I found interesting about animation is there are certain things that were far along in the process. The train escape to the surface was very far along, so that was just kind of locked. Maybe you could change a line here or there. Meanwhile, the opening, the whole first 10 minutes, was all storyboards and sketches, which changed a bunch of times.

And I do think that's a really difficult position for a scriptwriter to be in. Sure, the parts of the screenplay I feel able to attribute to Pearson, I wasn't particularly impressed by. But I think this anecdote goes to show how unnatural the constraints can be on a story like this. When you think of like, a scene that's key to Transformers One, you're probably imagining something like the Megatron/Optimus fight, or the scene in the mine—not the train scene, which is basically a bit of arbitrary connective tissue bridging the two main locations in the film.

Josh Cooley, the film's director, the face of the film on the press circuit from a creative standpoint, came onboard after five years of previous development work was already done. Writers Andrew Barrer and Gabriel Ferrari, who originally pitched the film and presumably wrote the early drafts of the story, might have already left the project by that point. Aaron Archer and Rik Alvarez, the creative forces behind the Binder of Revelation, left Hasbro years before the film was even pitched. It's no wonder to me that the final result feels incoherent, disjointed, and oddly stilted. It's certainly no wonder that nobody at Hasbro today really seems to care about the film; it's not their baby. If any of the people credited with bringing the project to completion had been given full creative freedom to make whatever Transformers movie they wanted, it would've looked completely different.

Luckily, there are still plenty of areas of the franchise where creators have just been allowed to go ham. Over in Japan, TRIGGER has taken a modest budget for a music-video and produced one of the most visually-striking bits of animation in the franchise, a true love-letter to all the weird parts of its forty-year history. And in America, comic creator Daniel Warren Johnson is halfway through his Eisner-winning new run on the title, which is the kind of thing I would basically recommend to anyone without caveats as being a phenomenal story, period. If that comic can be said to be an advert for anything, it's for Skybound's other, nowhere-near-as-good comic series, or for the unofficial unlicensed copyright-infringing Magic Square Optimus Prime toy Daniel Warren Johnson apparently used as reference the whole time.

I dunno, maybe Hasbro stepping back from financing these films is a good thing, in the long run. Maybe we can do without Transformers movies for a while. And however many years down the line, maybe Paramount or some other studio will put together a new team of talent, and they'll get to do whatever it is they want. And maybe the movie they make will be the one that knocks everyone's socks off.

Truly, I don't know where the road leads from here. It hasn't been built yet. It could turn out to go anywhere.

If you made it this far, I hope some of what I've said has been entertaining or interesting. Thanks for reading!

Time to for me to come clean. There is one other reason why I've waited so long to release this review... and that's because I have a special announcement to make. Last month I set myself a little challenge: to write something that's at least as long as this review, but which isn't another negative-nancy tirade. It's a story.

The working title is "Ice Road Transformers". It's like an episode of that one reality TV show about Canadians driving trucks across frozen lakes—except the truck is Optimus Prime.

Early reviews say it's good! It'll be going through several rounds of revisions, to turn it into a well-oiled machine, hopefully in time for a seasonally-appropriate wide release in February. I'm very excited for you to be able to read it. You can follow me here or on Bluesky to be the first to find out when it's ready!

I'd like to thank my friends Jo and Umar for their work interviewing Cooley and di Bonaventura during the film's press circuit, along with Viv, Callum, and Omar for allowing me to enjoy this film much more than I otherwise might have. I wouldn't have been able to express many of my feelings about this movie nearly so cogently if not for the conversations I had with them. Additional thanks go to Chris McFeely, as his Transformers: The Basics videos (linked throughout this essay) refreshed my memory on a lot of the Aligned stuff, sparing me from having to read The Covenant of Primus again.

#transformers #transformers one #movie review #essay

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lets-try-some-writing · 8 months ago

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Transformers One: My Thoughts and Critiques

Note: This is going to be a very long read, so be prepared.

Before I begin my thoughts on the film, allow me to state beforehand that I will be looking at this film as a standalone film first and foremost. I will not be considering the fact that it is meant to be part of a trilogy until the end of my assessment because a good piece of media should be capable of standing on its own. With that said, minor allowances will be made because of this fact.

Additionally, I will not be applying any other continuity lore to this film review in order to limit my continuity bias (although I will make frequent comparisons). Please note that these are my thoughts and opinions and the fact that I even bothered to write more than a two sentence 'it sucked' with a wail of anguish tacked on means that the film has value. I am merely picky. Obviously, this will have a heavy does of my personal takes thrown in along with genuine analysis, so don't take my assessment as gospel.

From this point onwards, spoilers will be present. Read at your own risk.

The Good

(Me trying really really hard to not accidentally be negative.)

The visuals for Transformers One are, of course, stunning, and the voice acting, as a general rule, is very on point. Chris Hemsworth as Orion Pax and later, Optimus Prime, was a decent decision. I like his voice as Orion, but regarding Optimus? I have opinions that will be discussed later. But for the time being, his voice as Orion gives the character life, emotion, and a great deal of ethos. He's likable and interesting, giving him depth that we have not seen in any other Orion Pax since G1.

Megatron's voice actor was also incredibly well picked. The emotion and tone in his voice was undeniable and gave D-16, and later Megatron, such enthusiasm and vibrancy that I (and likely much of the audience) couldn't help but feel for him in many of his interactions and speeches. I loved hearing how his voice evolved as he went, slowly becoming more aggressive and deep. Elita-One was a reasonable pick when it came to voice actor. She certainly had tone and opinions. Bumblebee's voice actor was very entertaining when it came to giving the character development. Having Bumblebee with such a enthusiastic voice actor made him into someone who had far more depth than he likely would have otherwise.

Sentinel's voice actor was golden. He comes off just the way the movie needs him to be, and it is done quite tastefully, although it certainly doesn't break any molds when it comes to the cliche evil character arc. I adored Airachnid's voice acting. It fit her well and was a polite, but well earned shift from the snootiness seen in other continuities. She automatically has more depth simply because of her voice.

The worldbuilding for Transformers One was well done considering the time limits of the film and the focus that had to be given to other subject matters. There are many issues of course, but overall I cannot fault a single film for not having the length and depth of something like Prime or the IDW comics. The flora and fauna showcased were bright, and at least in the case of the flora, quite diverse. The designs for the few creatures showcased were interesting but not overwhelming, especially for the Quintessons. The shift from inorganic to organic was clear as day with their presence, and highlighted the love and care put into every single frame of the film. It was clear that there was real love shown to each character, movement, and scene. For once, the creators seemed to genuinely care about what they were doing.

The fight scenes were stunning. They flowed incredibly well and made excellent use of the environment and the biological aspects of fighters. The use of partial transformation and transformation in general was something I have never seen given such emphasis in a Transformers film or cartoon, not since Prime at any rate. It was done perfectly in my opinion, and showed an actual understanding of how the characters should move and likely would move in various combat situations.

Onto the actual film. The movie hops right into the action and we, the audience, are given a fantastic view into who Orion Pax is as a character. We see his longing to be something greater right off the bat, giving new fans a solid start for his character. Old fans are also given a nod to various continuities with his character design and his overall knowledge and interest in the archives tied with his station as a miner.

The design of Iacon was a fascinating shift from other continuities, that with everything being underground. And D-16's introduction was well integrated into the scene. His and Orion's friendship is masterfully done, and their interaction on the train gives amazing hints into their past, potential history, and creates interesting lore for an audience to ponder. Their relationship is by far one of the most important and intricate parts of the film. It is a masterclass in setting up a relationship prior to a film or story actually shoving two characters into a setting where more of their traits are showcased. Honestly, we can see so much about both of them from that first scene.

D-16 bailing Orion out of trouble quietly like its normal. Orion going through all the effort to give his friend something of value that is both personal and has money attached. Banter that showcases their depth and rich relationship that also flows smoothly and naturally, like old friends should. We get to see how Megatron will come into being through his adoration of Sentinel Prime and Megatronus Prime. His youthfulness combined with Orion's desire to see and experience everything brings out the best in both characters, giving them reason to be together and to get along.

I will never stop giving my praise for that first scene with D-16 and Orion since it was so tastefully done.

Their work in the mines is well directed and the introduction of Elita is... a thing. (thoughts later)

The lore presented in the mining operations is ingenious as it showcases both Cybertron's situation, lays the groundwork for the knowledge characters possess later in the film, and overall shows D-16 and Orion's hesitant heroism (at least on D-16's part) when they save Jazz from certain death. In some cases, the introduction of new information is masterfully done through the use of referencing demotions and promotions in a manner that applied to the situation in question. The lore regarding energon and the overall loyalty of the miners also demonstrates much of the mindset Cybertron is operating under and is done quite well, as seen with the cogless bots being totally fine with their lack of transformation ability for the most part.

Brilliantly done pre-set mindsets. Especially showcased with Sentinel's message to the cogless leaving them all in sheer awe and cheer. I could sense the villain a hundred yards away, but I could tell that the characters believed what they were hearing, and that in my opinion is a show of how well presented the mindsets of the characters and overall view of the society are.

The race was fun to watch, with plenty of spectacle. Orion and D-16's conversation pre-race showed more of their character and D-16's adherence to the rules vs Orion's desire for something more. Orion leading them through back roads into the race also added more depth to Orion's character which I adored (and was unfortunately underutilized). I appreciated the tricks pulled by Orion and D-16 to win. I also adored the brotherhood shown between them, especially how Orion went through the effort of giving D-16 his chance to be a hero, even if D-16 was hesitant. Their brotherhood in the beginning of the film was honestly one of the best highlights, and distracted me from many other things that I will discuss later that were less than optimal.

I loved seeing how excited D-16 was toward the end of the race, and of course how Orion stopped to help him. Their banter in what I assume was the medical bay was also enjoyable and laid further groundwork for D-16's character.

The scene with Sentinel congratulating D-16 and Orion Pax was suitably filled with awe and stiltedness in equal measure. It played well and showed D-16's character as well as Orion Pax's passion and drive. One thing I will not fault the film for is Orion's devotion to his goals. They were clear and remained so from the get-go along with D-16 admiration (right up until the fifty minute mark).

The meeting with B-127 was unique, and an interesting show into the madness that forms in those who are condemned to the bottom rungs of society, even though it was played for laughs. The introduction of the main plot device was something I have critiques regarding. Although, with that said, D-16 and B-127's reasonings for going were both done pretty well. I like how D-16's reason played off his character and previous history with Orion. Again, the brotherhood between them is key in this film.

The logical leap to get onto the trains was well done and also set up essential plot devices for later. Elita's presence was odd, but whatever.

The fight scene on the train and the rush to stop Elita from telling on all of them was well played for the most part. Her anger made sense and her snark didn't exactly come from nowhere. Her taking of the map made reasonable sense (although I have opinions). B-127 is vaguely humorous at times during their journey, which I can appreciate in small doses. (His cave comment got a vague chuckle out of me.)

The introduction of the Quintessons was well placed in light of the future scene with Sentinel. I loved our main characters maneuvering to avoid detection as it showed their cooperation as a team for the most part. Orion's knowledge of the Quintessons made sense in light of the very first scene in the film (again, it was an excellent start to the movie and laid a lot of groundwork).

There were a few scenes in this film that really kicked me in the feels, and the moment the group enter the cave and find the bodies of the dead Primes is one of those moments. The scene is solemn, not a hint of snark or banter to be found. Everyone is lamenting, thinking. The atmosphere was perfect, and the sheer emotion from D-16 in particular was delightful in its own quiet way. The way he sat before Megatronus Prime was emotional. For once in the rapid fire mess that is TF One, time was taken to let everything sink in. You can see a quiet shift in him, and in Orion there is something that makes the audience note how lost he appears. Elita and B-127 only added to the scene as their usual lines died off, letting the scene simply breathe. It was, in my opinion, very well done. Especially with the music running softly in the background.

Their worldview was shattered in that cave, and I adored seeing it play out.

Alpha Trion's character was done well, very well considering how short of a chance he had to be on screen. He showed proper confusion, but then moved along once he noted the situation. There are things I would change obviously, but his character played its part, and I appreciated how he got to the point and limited his cryptic behavior to an extent. He seemed tired, as he should have. His death was also well timed and I appreciated how much the movie wasn't afraid to straight up off a titular character in other continuities. The scene with the T-cog distribution was also a delight to watch. The animation was very clean and it gave me a whole lot to ponder biology wise.

I must say Sentinel's interaction with the Quintessons was, quite frankly, not surprising. But it did convey its point well. I like watching this noble looking character finally drop his façade fully, bowing before invaders and shocking our main cast (even if the audience could see this coming from two seconds into the film).

D-16 and Orion's first argument hit me in the feels, mainly because I really did understand D-16 far more than I did Orion. He was angry, he wanted justice, and above all else, he looked lost. I was simply enthralled with the way his character started to shift and change, going from passive to aggressive in response to rapid fire hits to his worldview, ultimately leading to a perfectly reasonable bot shattering under the pressure.

Alpha Trion offering the group T-cogs from the Primes was interesting and left me with many worldbuilding related questions. The scene where the group first transform was fun. I liked how the characters were given a chance to show their inexperience and struggles. Disregarding the comedy, it made perfect sense for bots who'd never once transformed to have to learn to do it all from scratch, trial and error. It was fun, especially D-16's leg being stuck halfway into turning into treads.

From here my praise is a bit more limited, but I enjoyed seeing D-16 flex his authority and get his group in line. I appreciated the moment of tension between him and Orion, showing the conflict brewing and yet the lingering brotherhood that had not yet cracked. It was delightful to see the war going on inside D-16 in that moment, the hesitancy and the care for his best friend buried under newfound rage and betrayal. Orion later doing his best to try and check up on D-16 was a delightful touch that only further cemented their struggling companionship as the film progressed.

Seeing Starscream was fun. Shockwave's voice was a nice addition and the extra emotion I find was a bonus. Also Soundwave with unique abilities. Nice.

D-16 beating the ever living snot out of Starscream was fun on its own, at least without considering the context and pacing. I enjoyed Starscream's character and the change to his usual cowardly behavior was, in my opinion, well earned and much needed (at least so early on in this new continuity). Orion's growing confusion and uncertainty was a lovely touch. I also adored how he stepped in, bringing D-16 back to reality long enough for him to spare Starscream and make his declaration.

Just going to throw this in here. Sentinel Prime is peak evil and I loved how cruel he was throughout the entire film. He oozed snooty and evil billionaire. The entire scene with him slaughtering Alpha Trion like some sort of hound, his dialogue, and later his insults toward D-16 were just *chef's kiss*. Him carving Megatronus's symbol onto D-16's chest was downright evil and served to further prove just how terrible he was. It was a great scene with very solid dialogue. Honestly, despite how evil he was, Sentinel was one of my favorite characters simply because he was consistent and his dialogue was very well done without any severe stilted moments right up until the end.

Not much to say about the D-16 capture and the Orion & Elita-One pep talk scene. It happened. More thoughts in The Bad section.

Additionally, D-16 staring death in the face was brilliant. I loved seeing his sheer defiance, and the way he met his potential end with honor even when B-127 was willing to stay down. It spoke so much of his character and his development since the beginning of the film. He went from wanting to hide from fights to actively standing up for his rights.

Orion talking to all the miners was, in theory, and probably on paper, a fantastic scene. It wasn't as grand as it could have been, but I really appreciated the size difference between him and the others combined with his attempts to rally them. His speech was moving and I could see his comradery with his fellows the spark of Optimus Prime within him. I loved seeing him rally his troops, encouraging his people to stand and fight. The miners being all so small really did wonders for the scene though. I know I already referenced the size difference, but seeing all these cogless bots look up in awe did something wonderful, especially with the lighting.

The revelation of the truth was downright brutal. It wasn't done as well as it could have been, but I appreciated it all the same, even if it gave off "I'd kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die!" vibes. (Thank you, Monsters Inc).

D-16 fighting Sentinel and then the subsequent attempt on Orion's part to calm him down was... painful (in a good way). I knew it was coming, I could smell it a mile away, but I honestly hadn't expected the scene to play out as it had. Orion trying to stop D-16 once was expected. Him trying again and getting hit was very him, and very powerful with D-16's response thrown in. Seeing the anger that had been brewing in D-16 fade for a moment to instead be replaced by guilt and grief for a precious second brought me nothing but sheer joy. It was such a turning point for the character, especially when the disbelief in his tone hit. D-16 holding onto Orion while on the verge of breaking down, warring with himself, and then deciding to let Orion fall?

Beautiful.

In that moment, we got to see D-16 metaphorically die alongside Orion Pax, breaking their brotherhood so that Megatron could rise from the ashes and try to bring down everything that led to their paths crossing and ultimately diverging. Honestly, I would have paid good money for an alternate ending where Orion died and stayed dead for a while longer, specifically so that Megatron could have a chance to grieve and contemplate. There was just so much going on in that scene with the music, the loss, and the tension that made it a fantastic visual.

The whole comparison between Orion and D-16 as they changed and morphed was a wonderful thing to witness. I enjoyed Megatron's birth a bit more than I did Optimus's, but that was largely because as Orion approached Primus's core, I personally would have adjusted a few small things to keep the dramatics in place. Megatron's birth however was truly stunning, showcasing his strength, his rage, and his passion all in a few short scenes. The music was phenomenal and only made it all the grander. His speech was simply perfection and I have absolutely no complaints. The concept of Megatron was rightfully embodied there and I was all but squealing in excitement when he made his declaration.

Optimus and Megatron's battle was amazingly done. The fighting and the use of weapons and transformation was spectacular and I have exactly zero complaints regarding the fight scene on its own. Optimus then banishing Megatron from Iacon had its own set of feelings, although, there are things I would change.

Bumblebee's line at the end of the movie was actually funny. It got a very solid chuckle out of me.

The flashback was adorable. I loved seeing the contrast between the bot who D-16 was, versus what he became. A brilliant scene, albeit a tad out of place in my opinion.

I have exactly nothing good to say about the last few sequences of the film. But I will say that Megatron is forever awesome.

With all that said, the music for the movie was phenomenal and made scenes that otherwise would have been simply moving into heart wrenching moments of awe. The Fall is by far my favorite simply because of all the emotional tracks in it. Every time I listen, I see that pivotal scene play out in my mind. Megatron and Optimus's birth, so perfectly contrasted and the emotion played out spectacularly. It's been days since I watched the film, and the emotional value of the music hasn't worn off in the slightest.

The Bad

(Aka, my rant combined with actual critiques)

Oh boy here we go.

Orion is just off. As a character, there's something off about him. He's perfectly acceptable on his own, but there is a lack of substance to him that makes it difficult to find him compelling at times. We never really know why he even gives a crap about the things he does. He just cares about the Matrix and becoming greater because of... reasons. There's no basis for his interests, not like D-16 who expressed in dialogue and actions why he cared about the things he did. He loved Sentinel because Sentinel "saved" them. He loved Megatronus Prime because he was the "strongest Prime who ever lived". Orion's reasoning for caring about the Matrix and freedom in general amounted to wanting to help Sentinel. I mean, it made sense, but it wasn't particularly fulfilling for his character, especially when the rest of the population was perfectly fine with their situations for the most part.

There needs to be reasoning. What happened to him to have him break the mold and try to act out? Why did he break it at all? Orion is obviously an outlier in mentality, and therefore he should have at least been given a single line of dialogue with D-16 to explain his interest, (excluding his declaration of wanting to help Sentinel find the Matrix. That is a mere statement and it didn't give me much of anything to understand why he cared since he wasn't as devoted as D-16). This issue follows him throughout the whole film. He's a bit of a shell at times, although it could have been due to the way his dialogue hit. This lack of foundation for his character made it difficult for me to really feel for him like I did with D-16. When D-16 got angry, I was on his side because I understood where he was coming from. But with Orion? He was always just... there. He expressed emotion and I loved seeing how he shifted, but his growth didn't match the pace the movie set, leaving him in the dust a bit.

It weakened his character drastically.

His voice is also a tad... bland. No offence to Hemsworth, but I just don't think he managed to capture Orion like Brian Tyree Henry managed to get D-16 and Megatron. Orion had his moments, and those moments were spectacular, but his speeches never had any of the depth of Peter Cullen's Optimus or the youth of TFA's Optimus. He lacked something distinctive to set him apart. He tended to sound somewhat blank in certain scenes, almost like Hemsworth had only just been given the script (or was still attempting to be Thor). It was especially bad when Orion becomes Optimus Prime. Where Hemsworth did an arguably fantastic job as Orion, his voice simply didn't fit Optimus. Am I biased because I enjoy Peter Cullen more? Yes. But also, Optimus is a mech meant to show power.

He needed a deeper voice desperately, something that would rattle and have the tone of a true commander, demanding respect even when he's being gentle. Hemsworth was a fine Orion Pax, but Optimus needed to change and become something more in my opinion. They didn't even have to change voice actor if Hemsworth could pull off a bit of range like Brian Tyree Henry did with D-16 and Megatron.

No complaints about D-16's introduction.

Back to the film. The sheer amount of background Easter eggs was fun right up until I started seeing far too many familiar faces in the same place. The world of Transformers One, unfortunately, feels incredibly small. We see Iacon and we see the cogless and Sentinel's servants, but nothing else is really there. It's a strange emptiness. I can tell the film creators were trying to fill the void, but we never got the chance to see those who did more than just mine. Where's the middle ranks? Who is running everything else? Why is every single Autobot a miner? There should at least be a few middle rank bots wandering around. We did see scenes with random civilians at the end, but I would have liked to see a greater range of work involved in Iacon. Even just a medic would have been great. If those things don't exist, then how does the city operate? Where the heck are the other cities? Is there a council of some sort? How is Sentinel running literally everything without an inner circle? We only ever see Arachnid after all.

Honestly, a tad more variety is what we needed. Not to say the variety we got was terrible, but seeing a medic, a random vendor, or even a military drill sergeant in the background would have done wonders I think.

Additionally, there should not be so many familiar bots all in one place. I know this is a new continuity, but it feels weird because there is no way every single big Autobot just happens to come from Iacon because they were ALL cogless miners. If that is the case, that destroys so much depth it's not even funny. I mean, the continuity can do what it wants since its new and has its own lore, but I suppose its a bit of a let down if everyone shares the exact same origin. Additionally, the voice acting for most background characters was... fine. Some scenes were fantastic, like the race where everyone rushes to see the miners on screen. But the movie could have greatly benefited from a few more unique and passionate voices. I wanted to see true anger, REAL heartbreak at the lies that had been fed to the cogless. This is more petty than anything else, but a few more voices and a bit more depth would have been fantastic.

It's only made worse by the fact that the entire film just feels tiny compared to the scale its operating on. One city, one mining area, one train, one open field, one race track, one abandoned base, one rebellion base, and a cave. Sounds good on paper, right? Lots of room to move. But we never see anything about any other part of the world. Not even a mention or a poster on the wall for a different city. It made everything so much smaller and more controlled. That's not necessarily a bad thing film wise, but giving artificial depth through background characters and whatnot would have been great. Even just some chatter from background characters would have served this purpose. Think about Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. Both movies referenced planets and places that came into play later far before they actually showed up, and in only one or two lines. TF One needed such dialogue if it wanted to establish the scale of the world. Unfortunately, we didn't get that.

The first mining scene in the movie agitated me on a spiritual level. Not necessarily because it was bad. I found the actual operation of the scene very interesting, especially seeing how Cybertron reacts to the mining and how the bots go about getting energon. It was downright fascinating watching the trained and trialed methods the crew used to get in, do their mining, and get out. Jazz was hilarious. However, Elita-One murdered the mood for me.

Elita is... an interesting case. I will just say it outright. She serves no purpose within the film that actually means anything. And this fatal flaw reflects horribly on her character. On her own, a bit of snark and anger over her situation and even the arrogance would be good character flaws for her to work past, but combined with her place in the film, it made her nothing short of grating. Every scene she did anything more than fight or offer reasonable commentary was a slow torture for me. There was nothing to give me a reason to like her. She's an arrogant bot who thinks she knows and can do everything, and that bothers me. If there was something for her to have to go through to work past those flaws, then I could appreciate it. But she maintained her poor disposition throughout the entire film with little to no outward changes. It was a wasted character and an arc that was never even given a chance to exist.

With that said, every time Elita turned up and started getting talkative I died a little inside. I am prepared to be crucified for that take.

Elita's attitude after Orion and D-16 saved Jazz was just the worst. Even though I understood her take, she still bothered me with her rudeness. She's a very selfish character if you really look at her, and it shows. Her voice acting wasn't bad, although there were a few repeat lines that got stale fast.

The Iacon race was a fun concept, but Orion's character was again left to exist in a vacuum when he took D-16 to the race. Evidently, Orion knows a crap ton about the underground and travelling discreetly. This skill is never seen again. Nor is his knowledge of travelling quietly on his own ever mentioned after this scene, to my knowledge at any rate. Whatever the case, he was given a hint of lore and then left to go be rebellious for reasons we still do not have a solid foundation for. Honestly, I understood D-16 far more than I did Orion and I think that's a problem in a film meant to be their origin.

I have no real complaints about the actual race. The scene with Sentinel had nothing for me to comment on negatively.

Bumblebee is again, another character who holds little use in the film. I understand WHY he was put in (fanservice and all that), but the way he was implemented was very poor. There were far better ways to incorporate him into the story and actually make him important and telling. Instead, he's just a chatterbox there for jokes and one liners. He's far less agitating than Elita though because at least he has vague chemistry with our main protagonists. Also, B-127's whole nickname sequence should have been cut, or at least sidelined a bit. It really wasn't that funny, and if the crew were trying to show how isolation has gotten to him, the whole fake friends part got that across quite well.

The plot device was ridiculous. Not necessarily in its existence, but in its implementation. You want to have a SOS message from Trion to be the key? Cool. DON'T put it in the actual trash in the most obscure place on Cybertron. The fact that the bloody message survived is a miracle and quite frankly, it felt contrived. There were far better ways to implement the message. Think about Stars Wars and R2D2. Personally, I would have been privy to a bit of War for Cybertron coming into play, or possibly Smokescreen from Prime. That way Bee could actually be useful while still offering the crew their plot device. That said, it wasn't the worst thing and with a bit of grace, it is not a major sin.

The train scene with Elita was actually painful to watch. I despise her so much, and she just made the whole thing agony to get through. I skipped through her kicking the guys around like boyscouts because it was not appealing in the slightest. (I do understand some people like her, but I am not one of them and this is where my bias shows most.)

No complaints about their stint on the roof of the train.

Elita's entire scene on the ground where she gets in Orion's face made me want to strangle her. I can understand her reasoning, but she's so frickin annoying that I simply could not care about her in the slightest. Her lines might have even been funny if she hadn't been such a poorly done character.

Why does she get the map??? Why??? She isn't even meant to BE there??? Orion, why are you letting her walk all over you??? That's your evidence! You can't even trust her! Let D-16 read the bloody thing. He feels like he has the most braincells out of all of them. I get that they were aiming for girlboss and mom friend vibes combined with Elita, but she's simply agitating and I think it would have been far better for Orion or D-16 to lead the way and show more of their character. Actually, let Orion do it. He snuck into the archives all the time. He's a perfect fit for the role and would have given him the chance to show off that foundation that he lacked throughout the entire movie. If they REALLY needed Elita, they could have used the chance to build that oh so lovely ship bait for fans by having Elita and Orion have to work together to successfully read the map. After all, Orion knows all the weird underhanded stuff and Elita was a team leader for the miners. Their combined knowledge could have been a bonding moment AND been useful to the plot later to show why they fight together in a reasonable fashion.

Again, Transformers One feels tiny. There was one creature type shown on screen, and I understand animating is a pain, but even just some shifting shadows as the group walked would have been nice. Would have made things feel more alive and artificially expanded. (again, a petty complaint above all else. Maybe Cybertron just doesn't have a ton of animals.)

No complaints about the cave scene.

So... T-cogs can just be taken from the dead? Is that not a health issue? We see later that Megatron taking Megatronus's T-cog changes him further. Does that imply that all four of the crew are now biologically related to the Primes? If those T-cogs aren't rusted to hell and back after fifty cycles and don't give the crew infections later, this has some startling implications. Less of a complaint and more of my confusion. Seriously, are there no prerequisites to have a T-cog when a bot's original one has been removed?? Does this mean that biological offspring can be a thing via passing on a T-cog?

(I have some worrying thoughts about relationships on Cybertron now because of the shift in characteristics for the crew when they got their Prime inherited T-cogs)

Too much exposition from Alpha Trion. It fit the scene certainly, but the whole film had a running problem of mouthing off and throwing exposition around like candy. It was not done particularly tastefully 90% of the time. In fact, the only exposition that I liked was from D-16 and B-127 because it felt natural for them to explain things as they did. Trion's was cool certainly, and honestly if Orion's first exposition in the archive and then Trion's were the only dumps, I would have been quite happy.

I can't believe the Primes fell as easily as they did. I understand they were ambushed. But how on earth did Sentinel manage to personally cut down several of them when, up until that point, Alpha Trion said they were winning? One sneak attack is understandable, but the rest was a bit unbelievable. Especially Megatronus Prime.

Why is everyone suddenly so chill with killing? I mean D-16 just shot someone to DEATH despite having never raised a hand to pretty much anyone with intent to kill up until that point. Is this a society thing? Cultural? (I am not talking about Orion here. He's a sunflower compared to B-127 and everyone else going off and chopping enemies to bits)

Regarding D-16's arc, it was rapid fire from this point onward. I can see what they were aiming for, but there was a distinct lack of anything to really cause him to fall as far and as fast as he did. Actually, allow me to rephrase. Rather it was that he HAD reason, it was simply too fast paced of a film for me to feel his change and truly cement it in my soul. It stuck and it most certainly made sense, but it was a bit like whiplash when he chose to let Orion fall to his death despite them having gotten along up until that point for the most part.

Orion is an idiot as well. He spent all of D-16's rapid fall into warlording staring at his best friend like a confused goldfish. He did very little to step in aside from try to ask if D-16 was alright and stopping him from killing Starscream. Yes, D-16 was captured and there wasn't a lot of time to do therapy. Yes, the rapid character change occurred literally over the course of like, a day and change, so I can't fully blame Orion. And do I understand why he was so hesitant? Yes of course. The change was super fast. Do I also understand how and why D-16 fell? Absolutely yes. Were both of these characters rushed? Abso-frickin-lutely. The foundations were there and they were fantastic. They just had to be roller coastered to their completion without any regard for the emotional value of pacing their respective shifts away from their previously shared goal.

I do not truly blame the film creators for the rush, but it does kill a lot of the emotional impact that would have come if we'd been given more time to see D-16 and Orion have more and more arguments over increasingly difficult moral decisions.

Starscream and the High Guard are stupid. They are a fantastic concept on paper, but much like half the cast, their implementation was poor in the extreme. They came from nowhere, were exposition dumped into existence, and promptly followed the rando who beat the snot out of Starscream and could have, for all they knew, been an actual spy. For some of the best trained bots on the planet, there was not a single braincell amongst them.

Starscream had so much potential too. But that vanished into smoke twenty seconds into his face getting bashed in. Soundwave looks like a taco. And he acts like one with his lack of substance character wise. Shockwave was neat right up until he got wrapped up into the stupid gag with B-127. It's a dumb joke and it destroyed whatever seriousness was building. Like come on guys, we are at the one hour mark. It's time to get serious or go home. Again, aren't these the High Guard???? Very important very well trained bots??? Why are they acting like savages and petty children? We at least need explanation for that if we are rolling under that rule. They needed more depth desperately. As it stands, they were nothing more than free guns for D-16 to yoink for future movies.

Also, again, Orion the goldfish. Standing there all confused without doing a bloody thing about it. He's so passive in this movie and it infuriates me because it feels like his character arc never picked up the pace like D-16's did at the hour mark. I understand he's going through a lot and watching his bro fall is likely a bit shock to the system, but one would think with how close they are that Orion of all bots would be the one to try and humble his brother in arms. (I am aware he did his best with what time he had, but still). I know that if one of my siblings decided to go all murder hobo on me I would be the first to get up there and throw a shoe at their head. Once more, I do understand that Orion was likely in shock, but due to the pacing of the film, he feels a bit like stale bread right up until he's literally shot.

Neat, a fight scene. D-16 is captured, ooooh that could be interesting- aaaaaaaand there's Elita being the worst again. Great pep talk. Fantastic even. Now I hate her even more because all I am getting is sheer arrogance and not even in a humorous way like Knockout from TFP. Good heavens Elita sucks.

"We won't follow you." *Elita exists* "wE wiLl fOLLoW yOu" - Frag ALL the way off with this garbage. High Guard indeed. High on drugs and low on self-esteem. Elita has done NOTHING to prove herself worthy of being followed, or Orion for that matter. It would make far more sense for the High Guard to just be pissed off and opt to go fight Sentinel on their own since they've lost their new leader and a ton of their troops all in one raid. It would have been majestic for them to straight up decide now or never and lead a charge, and then have Elita and Orion join them with unexpected troops in the form of the cogless.

Again, aren't these guys meant to be the High Guard? Why can't they get into their own city? Surely they have contacts or old knowledge? Actually, why can't Orion bargain his way into their ranks using his knowledge of all things underhanded in Iacon? It would have been a great callback to his scene getting himself and D-16 into the race. I know they sort of went that route by having Elita get everyone in while Orion went to fetch the cogless, but it would have been way more interesting to see them working together in a logical manner and planning their attack. I know there were time constraints, but that doesn't mean they couldn't have worked together for a short period of time and shown either the brutality of the High Guard or their similarities in regards to goals and ideals.

The scene with Orion addressing the cogless was certainly stunning, but it needed more. Emphasis, tone, lighting, music. I think it needed something just a touch grander. Not too much mind you. Orion needed to have come back with a new aura around him, something to really make him stand out aside from his newfound height. This is his dawning moment after all, his first spark of Optimus Prime. If he'd spent some time scheming with the High Guard, maybe he could have had an air of a fledgling soldier, just bloodied and ready for battle. He did punch Darkwing, and that certainly helped, so I will give him a pass in this regard. His speech still would have meant more if he'd been a bit grittier and yet still kind, especially contrasting D-16 who took one life and then never stopped doing that. His compassion was a nice touch, as well as his relatability to his fellows, but there had to be that hint of something more commanding. He had the inklings and I appreciated his first real speech, but the rallying cry was, in my opinion, a tad off. It could have been due to the voice acting. (Seriously though I did love this scene, I just have itty bitty suggestions regarding how it could have been better. And Orion made a funny face halfway through his big pep talk so there's that).

The background character voice acting didn't show quite enough confusion or awe for me to really be sold on the scene. I would have preferred something more akin to the TFP scene where the kids are introduced to Optimus. Shock, awe, excitement, a hint of fear. Those things were present of course, and I understand the miners were tired from doing their million and a half shifts. But a bit more could have been done. More background chatter essentially.

No complaints about the Sentinel and D-16 interaction.

The battle scene was well done, all of them. The Arachnid thing worked, but the big reveal of the truth did absolutely feel torn right off of 'cliche villain downfall bingo'. I would have liked something a tad more original. Just a bit. But it did get the point across well enough so I can't really be upset.

Again with the background characters. It wasn't bad, but where's the RAGE?!? Where is the sheer chaos? It was emphasized later with the battle, but I think that scene with the big reveal needed a bit more violence so show just how unruly the population ended up. It could also make it clear why so many would eventually choose to join Megatron. Give me ONE guy with a Molotov cocktail throwing it at a statue of Sentinel or something. Why not have some of the cogless start attacking their superiors as well as Sentinel's servants, just to show the sheer destruction going on? Please, it would have been delightful and only have taken up like, five second of screen time MAX.

No real complaints about the scene with Orion, D-16, and Sentinel. It was still fast paced, and Orion still felt a bit like a goldfish, but overall the scene was perfect. The pacing is all that made it feel somewhat off.

The birth of Megatron was perfect. Zero complaints.

Once Orion reached Primus's core, the birth of Optimus gave off "Meeeeeeeegatrooooooooon~" vibes from the TFP Movie (Thank you Unicron. Love the voice acting man). Alpha Trion's voice was not doing it for me. It made a grand moment rather cheesy. Personally I think Orion needed whispers, echoes and flashbacks to go along with D-16's increasing violence and declaration. It would have been the perfect time to throw that flashback from the closing part of the film in. Let Orion see a ton of rapid images of him and D-16 along with increasingly loud whispers from all the Primes, cumulating in "Arise, Optimus Prime." Maybe even chuck in visions of the dead Primes, showing bits of their lives as a way to nod to the knowledge contained within the Matrix (if this continuity is going that route anyway. If nothing else, it would look cool and allow each Prime to meet Optimus in a natural manner during his creation). Additionally, that way Optimus can maintain a hint of mysteriousness but also grandeur.

Optimus flying up to the surface like superman.

I get what they were going for, but it was a tiny bit silly. I think it would have been grander for Optimus to have taken a bit longer returning, simply so that he could have the very earth part for him Moses style. I am not entirely sure. There isn't really a right way to fix this scene in light of the time constraints, and frankly the sonic shoot up to the surface did look cool and served its dramatic entrance purpose. I don't necessarily dislike it, but given the opportunity, I would have gone a slightly different route.

No commentary on the battle. It was perfect.

Again, Megatron's character arc was seriously rushed. He needed far more time. I adore him in TF One. He's quite literally the best character in there. But everything leading up to his final moment was rushed and it left me feeling unsatisfied at the end. There was plenty of foreshadowing in small ways, but those didn't start happening until the hour mark, give or take. Also, Optimus banishing Megatron from Iacon?? Why just Iacon??? Where the heck are the other cities?? Do they exist?? I'm spitballing but the whole scene felt ever so slightly off. Megatron limping into the distance didn't feel quite right. I honestly think that in exchange for wounding him, Optimus should have gotten a scar somewhere in return as a reminder of his cause. Megatron got Megatronus's face burned onto him. Let Optimus get a similarly noticeable marking, that way both players show a mark of their fallen friendship.

Sidenote: How does ANYONE know how to fight in this film?? Sentinel, the High Guard, and those with T-cogs makes sense. Orion? Sure. He did a lot of rough housing. Elita? Maybe. Hard to tell with her limited background. But D-16 and B-127? The rest of the cogless? Where did they pick it up? Its a recurring problem. And how does the crew improve so fast? I mean, they know how to fight with their big ol saws from mining, but we don't get to see in anyone except Orion so its hard to believe anything. We are never given a solid time period between the journey to the surface and then back down again, and really I think some of that travel time should have been spent with the group sparring or otherwise bantering about their backgrounds to lay the groundwork for their skillsets.

Regarding the final scene of the film, its really bad. Painfully bad.

(I would like to throw Elita off the nearest structure thank you.)

I get that they are laying the groundwork for more movies, but the flashback was quite forced. It was cute and absolutely had a place in the film somewhere, but not right there. It didn't feel quite right, or at least not with how it was edged into. The narration was just... weird, to me at any rate. The T-cogs being distributed was cool, certainly. But it raises many questions about the logic of it all. It feels dues ex machina. Not in a good way either. Not saying it wasn't cool, but it did feel forced. Like a participation trophy. I would have loved to see the cogless remaining that way and having to collect cogs from wherever Sentinel stored them, or otherwise take them from the fallen. That way they could have more diversity going forward.

That whole ending bit with Optimus and the Autobots running into the sunset was stupid. There is no other way to describe it. The scene gave nothing to the film and I think it would have been spent far better if we saw Optimus and Megatron both gathering their armies while the Quintessons loomed overhead. Megatron watching his warships be built and then him looking up at the sky. Optimus gathering up the cogless and helping them get their T-cogs via Matrix and then also looking upward. Only to then have it end with the Quintessons looming above.

The Quintessons were so underutilized in TF One it wasn't even funny. I don't even really know why they were there. I mean I understand they had to exist for war reasons and Sentinel and all that. But if they are such a threat, then they need to either be driven off so that the Cybertronian civil war can happen, or they need to make themselves everyone's problem so that Optimus and Megatron's spat looks all the worse for the planet.

There needed to be more for the Quintessons. They needed to have played a bigger role or to have been somehow removed from the playing field by the end of the film. Even one scene with them seeing Sentinel falling and then opting to get the heck out of dodge would have served well enough. But they didn't. And for that reason they are just... there. Letting their prized slaves rebel. They won once against all the Primes. Why not do so again?

Also why do they want the energon??? There are too many questions right now and not even the barest inkling of an answer.

The Characters

(A look into every character of note + my edits to their development in the film.)

Orion Pax/Optimus Prime:

Orion's character is quite well done. He has goals, morals, and a personality that shines in the right environment. His adventurous spirit gives him life, and his desperate desire for something more makes him compelling when he's given the opportunity to really flex his morality muscles. He has a bit of fight in him, an eagerness to improve and assist those around him that makes him lovable and fun. Every moment he was on screen was a delight, and there was never any point where I directly despised his presence. He had moments of greatness, and moments where I would have preferred someone consulted Peter Cullen for advice on scenes where more Optimus was meant to show. His arc was steady, but it didn't move quite fast enough to match the pace D-16 set with his rise (or fall). It was clear Orion was meant go from largely trying to become greater for his own personal reasons to instead fighting for something more than himself. The creators were attempting to broaden him, give him more to fight for and more to lose. They were well on their way to doing that, but Orion's arc simply did not move fast enough, leading him to end up feeling a bit static while D-16 steamrolled ahead.

To adjust him, all I would want to see is for Orion to be shown having a more solid reason for his goals. Instead of just wanting to help, perhaps have him witness a hint of the mess on the surface at some point in his youth. Maybe he could mention it to D-16, saying that when he was newly forged, he either witnessed a record or saw a peek of the surface or perhaps some other Quintesson related thing to get him to feel a degree of investment in trying to help. Maybe he found the surface lovely and wanted to travel there. Maybe he heard legends of the Primes and particularly wanted to see them and make sure that they really had fallen. He either needed to show a level of devotion to the cause to match D-16's love for Sentinel and Megatronus Prime, or he needed to be skeptical. I would have loved to see Orion doubt, simply because no bodies of the Primes were ever recovered and old records did not mention the Matrix passing on (or perhaps he is skeptical in general). Whatever the case, giving Orion this foundational skepticism or believe would have allowed him to be more compelling when the truth was revealed.

Then, to match D-16 character arc, Orion should have started to try and take a commanding position earlier. Perhaps he could feel just as betrayed and angry, but instead of being more passive like in the film, his anger could instead be directed as the Quintessons who allowed things to happen as they did. Maybe Orion could feel loyalty toward his people as a whole, making him want to do things correctly and rally his kind together for the sole purpose of ensuring no other could ever enslave them, directly contrasting D-16 who was off to kill Sentinel for arguably more personal reasons. Making Orion care more about the people as a whole, knowing that they have all suffered under the threat that is the Quintessons, all the while D-16 cared more for his specific group of fellows... yeah it would have been delightful. Just, having Orion focus more on the bigger picture as the movie progressed, leading him to maybe mistreat D-16 a bit in his haste to spread the truth rather than get rid of the source of the problem. This way both Orion and D-16 could be given depth, since arguably, both are right in their approaches.

These are, of course, vague edits. And much like D-16, there isn't a ton I would change for Orion. He just needed more time on screen, and more opportunities to be presented with moral challenge and/or chances to lead.

"The line between friend and enemy is not as clear as I once believed. Once it's crossed, there's no going back, because some transformations, are permanent."

D-16/Megatron:

D-16, and later Megatron, was by far the best developed character in the entire movie. A very good thing considering the film is his origin moreso than anyone else's. He had the most growth to go through, and my goodness he went through it fantastically. He started off somewhat meek, mild tempered, and cheerful. He was a normal bot, one just happy to go about his life and enjoy his few passions as an average civilian. But as the film progressed, his character shifted from one of fun and adventure to anger and betrayal. One lie after another stacked up, slowly breaking down his innocent belief in everything he held dear until he had nothing left to stand on. All he could do was direct his anger at something, lest he lose himself entirely. His reasons were all justified, and you could see the way his morality shifted between "I want him in chains" to "you need to get out of my way, before I move you myself." and it was brilliant. Everything about his arc was well formulated, at least regarding showing his shift in character.

All I would have changed is the rate at which he changed. It was very fast paced. And from what I gather, occurred over the course of maybe a day or two. Crimes of passion are a thing, and some change really does happen that quickly, but D-16 needed at least a few more scenes of moral debate. Perhaps a scene in the beginning where he makes a simple choice that Orion's agrees with and then a very similar scene later where he goes directly against his previous choice. He should have been shown arguing with Orion more as the film progressed, and over more and more serious matters. Perhaps it starts with the map, but as time goes on, it starts edging into who to kill, who to suppress, what path to take in laying siege to Iacon, etc. That way D-16 moral shift can come a bit more naturally when he finally beats the snot out of Starscream and later kills Sentinel with no remorse.

D-16, and later Megatron, is a delightful character. There is very little I would change for him. Above all else, he needed more time on screen to shine, and I think that's the best possible critique there could be for a character.

"The age of Primes has ended. No more false Prophets. Follow me, you will never again be deceived! Rise up!"

Elita-One:

Elita-One is the worst offender in the entire film when it comes to horrible character. Where others lacked personality, she got far too much and absolutely zero development for it. She came in arrogant and came out just as if not more so. Obviously, the creators were aiming for her to be a foil for the boys, trying to make her into a more stable and commanding counterpart to Orion's, and later D-16's, rebellious nature. But her extreme arrogance, snarky attitude, and little to no love for anyone else made her presence grating. There wasn't enough of a relationship between her and the boys for me to see her in a more familial light for them, nor was there enough of an indicator of rivalry for her viciousness to not be annoying in its presentation. She was mean, bitter, and overall a pain throughout the entire film. And while there were reasons for those traits to be presented initially, they were obtrusive and took away from the film since they were never again addressed or given proper conclusion. Elita-One had no character growth, and as such, she leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Her relationship with Orion in particular was agitating. She had a backstory at least, and it did contribute to her character, but it didn't help to differentiate her a ton or warrant her arrogance, unfortunately.

Elita-One needed a reason to be so confident in herself that was visible to the audience, not just her forcing her crew to repeat her greatness. Arrogance can be done well, as seen with Starscream and Knockout in TFP, but Elita's just came off as annoying at the best of times. To adjust her character, I would have pre-established her relationship a bit differently. Instead of aiming to be supervisor, she should have been one already. To make her arrogance less annoying, she should have been shown as being affiliated with Orion before her demotion, perhaps as the one letting him get away with all his shenanigans. That way her arrogance plays off as her bantering and simply noting her station, and maybe she flaunts it around a bit, having Orion do her random favors since she won't go breaking protocol, but she knows he will. Their relationship could be one of mutual benefit, perhaps even hinting at Elita having used Orion's help to achieve her station at some point. That way they can be vaguely affiliated and their power dynamic can be somewhat equal since Orion offers a service and in turn, Elita covers his back when he decides to go and wander off.

If the creators wanted to go the ship baity route, or even just make Orion and Elita closer, it could be a thing where Elita was an old friend of Orion's who simply drifted apart after her rise to supervisor. Instead of being harsh with him during the mining scene, she could offer to speak later. Their entire dynamic could be that of ancient friendship, older than even Orion's and D-16 connection. Maybe they were in training together. Perhaps they were on the same mining crew for a while. Whatever the case, making Elita a bit nicer would go a long way, especially if she attempted to cover for Orion yet again after he broke protocol to save Jazz. She could try to cover for her old friend and be punished for it, making her less willing to help later in the movie when her aid is needed once more. Her character could go through serious growth because of this.

Additionally, if this were to be how her character played out, when she's brought to the surface, her lingering arrogance can be crushed like a grape in the unfamiliar environment. Where she once looked at Orion as a bit of a nuisance due to his habit of going places where he really shouldn't have been, she can now appreciate his skill and support him with her own. Maybe as a former supervisor, she's the only one who can read the map accurately, but for that same reason, she has very little skill in traversing the land and translating old indicators on the coordinates. That's where the boys could step in, helping and offering their skills and in turn showing Elita that while she's not the best and never will be, her skills are valuable when applied correctly, just as her companion's skills are as well. They could play off each other in a more meaningful way, helping Elita develop a healthy relationship with her companions and her ego. By the end of the movie, she could end up a bit more like Skybound or Earthspark Elita-One, confident and competent, but mature enough to know when to let someone else take the lead and when her job should be to play support.

She could even serve as a bit of an echo of Megatron, starting off where he ended. Anger, passion, and of course, arrogance. Then slowly she can learn to mellow a bit and apply herself in a far more productive manner. This could let her relate to D-16 as he starts to crumble, giving her more of a reason to be invested in him since as she improves, he starts to fall to pieces. There are many ways she could be played, but more importantly, she needs to be showed having actual chemistry with her companions and changing as a character into someone more mature. She's not a bad pick for a character, but she needed to be tempered, a lot.

"My point is, that your instincts tell you to break protocol for a reason."

B-127:

B-127 is a character that, on his own, doesn't really have a purpose being in the film at all. He's comedic and does show the beginnings of maturity in more serious moments, like when he and D-16 are captured. However, he lacks substance. He's fun, he's peppy, but it feels like a lot of the basis for his presence hinges on old and new fans recognizing his paintjob and knowing who he will become later down the line. He's a rather shallow character, which is not a necessarily bad trait since Sentinel pulled it off brilliantly. But since he is meant to be a main character in this film, I would have preferred he be given a more solid foundation. His actions are fine, his personality is acceptable, but he needed more to work with, a reason for his behavior if you will (since he can't exactly have a reputation to run with, being on sub-level 50).

I think the best way to have introduced him and given him a foundation would be to foreshadow the sub-levels. Perhaps have it be noted that bots go down a few levels and never come back, unfortunate miners who mess up one too many times. (maybe D-16 reminds Orion of this potential fate). Instead at staring at smelters, B-127 could be introduced as a scavenger. Rather than be down so many levels doing essentially nothing, perhaps show him weaving through discarded rubbish in huge heaps before they can be incinerated, taking bits and pieces that he likes. This way his random assortment of knowledge can make sense. It can explain his madness in a slightly more believable manner. Seriously, if B-127 knew how to get out, why wouldn't he leave at some point to seek out companions? Better it be that he's trapped, and now that he's got new companions, he feels totally fine accepting them and showing off his collection of trinkets since they are all prisoners together. He could state he's been down there for a very very long time, maybe making him the oldest out of the eventual group of four. This would explain why he has the plot device later, and if he shows off more confidential reading/viewing material he's collected, his knowledge base and animalistic fighting style make more sense.

It would give him a foundation as someone more feral, easily surprised, and excitable. It would give him unique skillsets, such as scavenging and self repair. If needed, he could even be the team's makeshift medic. Maybe B-127 could even have a broken T-cog instead of missing it altogether, showing that the practice of removing a cog was imperfect for a time, and since his removal failed, they disposed of him. Yet another hint of what is to come. His introduction scene would be about the same length too, since all that would change is the setting. It would also give all three time to bond since B-127 doesn't know how to escape, but has resources, which would allow D-16 and Orion to put their heads together to get them all out. It would also create a sense of loyalty for B-127, encouraging him to stay with the group. No changes need to be made to B-127's personality, just a shift in scenery.

"Are you serious? This is the greatest day of my life! I get to work for the government!"

Starscream:

Starscream's appearance in this film, much like Elita's presence, served little to no purpose. He existed purely to provide D-16 a chance to exercise his brutality and growing passion for rebellion. However, with what little time he had on screen, he presented an incredibly unique version of the character. Gone was the cowardly behavior seen in almost every single Starscream to have ever been produced. This Starscream appeared to be a highly competent character, willing to fight and die for his cause. He showed determination, energy not seen in any other Starscream. I can't exactly say he was the most intelligent character, a shame considering his station. But the embers of something more that he presented were fascinating, and in my opinion, a delight to witness.

I would have liked to have had his foreshadowed earlier. Personally, I think a great way to have hinted at his presence would have been to make him a bit of a martyr. He could have been blamed for the betrayal of the Primes, with Sentinel pinning their fall on the High Guard and Starscream in particular. That way, he could have been foreshadowed via D-16 absolutely hating him for his "betrayal" and also served to hint at the High Guard's power later. Additionally, if Sentinel made it so the High Guard looked like they'd sold out to the Quintessons, him going to the surface would be even more "Dangerous" since he'd be fighting "traitors". All the more for him to have lied above, and more to keep everyone off the surface.

Bonus if Starscream actively has a warrant out for him, as evidenced perhaps by chatter from background characters or maybe even Darkwing calling D-16 and Orion Pax "High Guard/Starscream sympathizers" for their rambunctious activity. Through this slight shift, Starscream's later appearance could be far more meaningful and make him an ally of note, especially if its mentioned that he and his people have been attacking energon trains for sustenance and to mess with Sentinel. Starscream's intelligence can be shown, as can his former ties to the Primes, all by adding a line or two depicting his presence.

"Two options for you! One, we slowly dismantle each of you one bolt and screw at a time, and really make sure you feel it. Or two, in exchange for a quick death, you give us intel on the energon trails, access to the mines, or anything else that could hurt your Boss, Sentinel Prime."

Soundwave: Soundwave can hardly be called a character in this film. He exists. That's about all he has going for him. He looks like a taco and has all the personality of one, that being none at all. There was so much potential for him, but he got a grand total of perhaps three lines before he became background noise. Jazz had more lines than Soundwave. Jazz, the cogless background character. We know nothing about Soundwave except the fact that he's with the High Guard and apparently important enough to have been in the records. No explanations regarding his abilities, no backstory, no reason behind his connections. Nothing. He's a familiar name for old fans to gawk at and does little else.

If Soundwave is going to be in a film, I feel like it is law for him to play at least a semi-important part. Even if I didn't know Soundwave from other continuities, he would still be seen as highly underutilized. Personally, I think he would have done so much better serving as an agent of Sentinel Prime who turned when he learned the truth. He could have been right at Sentinel's side whenever he was in the city, offering reports on other cities and their struggles to obtain energon but ultimately being waved off. This could help with the small setting feeling and give Soundwave character through his hesitance and concern for the rest of the population. It could be fascinating to see Soundwave loyally follow this Prime, despite his concerns, and then be betrayed with the knowledge that his world and his people have been enslaved by the one he thought was their savior. This way, he would have a very valid reason to hate Optimus when he comes into being, and consequently have a reasonable desire to join Megatron.

"Scanning electrical impulses: He speaks the truth."

Shockwave: Thankfully he's less of a taco. Unfortunately, he only has a bit more personality than Soundwave. We also know exactly nothing about him and he suffers from the same problems as Soundwave personality wise. We've got next to nothing to work with, not even a title. He also comes off as a bit of a potato since the very first thing he did when threatened by Elita of all bots was to bend the knee. It does tell us about him, but its not done tastefully and as it stands, Shockwave has the personality of a small child who got his favorite toy stolen from him.

Much like Soundwave, if one is going to use Shockwave, he has to at least have had some sort of impact in the past, if not the present. I would have liked to have seen him possibly have been the one who assisted in removing cogs from the newly forged. It is an essential part of their structure, so I imagine there is a certain degree of delicacy involved. Or barring that, why couldn't he have been the High Guard's medic or scientist and studied the process and uses of the Transformation Cog? That way, he would have a plethora of knowledge and be very invested in Sentinel's downfall since he knows the truth of the matter. Perhaps he feels guilty for having assisted. Maybe he was banished for trying to do too much. There are a thousand things that could be done with even a hint of such a backstory. Heck, maybe he could be the one to have a small mountain of cogs to offer cogless bots during the battle against Sentinel. Or if we want to maintain the emotional value of the bots fighting without their cogs, have Shockwave offer up images of piles upon piles of destroyed T-cogs or something for evidence. There is a lot of potential for him that was never realized, and all it would have taken is a line or two to establish him and his usefulness to the Decepticons later.

"He wouldn't stop talking."

Sentinel Prime:

Sentinel's character was, quite frankly, delightful. There were no redemptive qualities about him, and I personally found that to be perfect for his character. He was cruel, prideful, vicious, arrogant, and everything else I expected from a cliche villain. And yet, despite being cliche, his voice acting combined with his stable character portrayal always had me adoring how terrible he was. Whenever Sentinel came on screen, I was excited to see him because I knew how he was going to act, and I was thrilled to see it play out every time. I knew his personality, and yet how he went about his activities always exceeded my expectations. Personally, I adored how smug his dialogue was, right up until the very end of his life. It sold him as being the worst, even if he wasn't breaking any new ground with his character. Sometimes you just need a character who sucks as an individual. I appreciate that the movie was willing to make him irredeemable, unlike other iterations of Sentinel Prime who at least had a slightly non-selfish hidden motive somewhere in their backstory. There's nothing I would change about him, not in the slightest, at least not without adjusting the entire movie and rewriting it from the ground up. He fits. Simple as that.

"What truth? That I plucked your cogs from your newborn chests, forced you to mine so that I could pay off the Quintessons, and live like a King?"

Alpha Trion:

Alpha Trion was a fascinating character with so much potential history and lore attached to him. I am quite sad he didn't get more of a chance to shine, considering his past and his status as the last living Prime. He did serve his part in the movie, quite well might I add. But he could have had more. He was so very tired sounding, lost even. He seemed to care for our main cast and offered so much wisdom, and yet had so little time to actually impress it upon the main characters. He died with honor and what times he did have the chance to speak were well put together. However, I would have liked to see a bit more of him, personally. A bit more character, spice if you will.

I would have given at least one digit on my right hand to see him train our group of four, or at least begin guiding them back to Iacon so give them more time to talk. His presence could have accentuated the fallout between Orion and D-16, showing their shifting ideals when compared to the pure goal of Alpha Trion. Perhaps he could be the one to try and guide the group into working as a cohesive unit. And perhaps his slaughter could be one of those things that drives D-16 and Orion apart now that they no longer have a stabilizing force to keep them from arguing over what to do with their evidence. Honestly, I'm thinking something Uncle Ben combined with Uncle Iroh for Alpha Trion would have been a perfect way to introduce him, make use of him, and ultimately offline him in a meaningful manner. But again, time constraints are a real issue and I understand the problems the movie had giving everyone time to breathe.

"I failed you, old friend. You deserved so much better than this end."

Arachnid: She's a fascinating character who I personally would have loved to see more of. The times she turned up on screen were always noteworthy, and the fact that her intentions were largely unknown gave me a feeling like she was this movie's Soundwave. She didn't need too much development because her role in the movie was perfectly structured. She was Sentinel's right hand, his eyes and his hands. She is a perfect example of a character who doesn't need much exposition or backstory simply because she fulfills her role perfectly. We can make assumptions and still have room to speculate, but her character doesn't feel like a vacuum or like its missing some grand piece. Would I have appreciated a hint more for her thought? Yes.

Personally, I think hearing rumors of Sentinel's frightening right hand might have given her the final touch she needed to be a solid character in my book. Just some bots being in awe as she walks by with Sentinel, or perhaps Orion recognizing her from some old text from the archives. That way she could come onto the scene with a reputation. Or barring that, a sense of dread. That said, I did enjoy her introduction and I have no real critiques of her. The character is built well for the time she's on screen. I enjoyed her far more than I did Elita-One which should tell you all something. A girlboss character can be done well. Look at Arachnid and her combat prowess and intelligence. Elita was just a poorly done, slapped together attempt at giving our main cast flavor.

"I see everything."

That One Random Quintesson: It looked neat. Very intimidating in its own weird way. Certainly uncanny considering the metallic scenery. Could have used at least a line or two to sell the evil. I personally would have paid money for the Quint to talk in gibberish and for Sentinel to somehow understand because that would show just how long he'd been working for the Quintessons.

Jazz: We saw him a grand total of perhaps five times and I love him. No complaints. He's very Jazz and maintains his Jazz attitude throughout every single scene he turns up in. I especially love him during the scene where Orion rallies the cogless. He looks so confused and yet so happy later one when he gets his Transformation Cog.

"Little? There's nothing little about you."

Darkwing: DARKWING DUCK- I'm kidding. Darkwing's character had little to no depth, but he served perfectly fine considering his role in the movie. An aggressive enforcer of some variety, evidently high ranking enough to be in the Iacon 5000. He's got enough flavor to him that I'm sure someone in the fandom will decide he is their blorbo and run with it. He's not breaking any new ground, nor are his lines anything noteworthy. He simply is, and considering his role, it suites him.

"You are no cog bots with limited options. Report to waste management immediately."

Background Characters in General: Nothing really of note. They existed and served their purposes. I appreciated the fact that no two bots were the same appearance wise. It made Iacon feel more lived in, a trait desperately needed considering how small the world felt. Seeing so many familiar faces was fun.

The Plot

(An assessment of the story overall & its holes.)

The plot was fantastic, at least with all the random unneeded scenes not considered.

There were quite a few themes present, most of which were at least touched upon. Honestly, the journey to discover the truth was a wonderful overall plot. I have very few complaints about the way the story set out. Two miners who, by accident, are cast away and gain an inkling of the truth. This in turn sending them on a quest to uncover said truth, only to have their worldview shattered. It's simple, and at the end of their road, their differing ideas regarding what to do with the truth are what drive them apart.

There are some things that don't add up, such as the time it takes the crew to actually get from Point A to Point B at any given part of the film. Time is a real issue in the movie. If we had only been given the illusion of more time passing, some of the pacing issues might have been less in our faces. Additionally, there are a few inconsistencies.

The boys being chucked down fifty sub levels because the plot needed it to happen. The plot device just happening to be there for reasons. How B-127 and the boys know how to get anywhere is beyond me. Elita being at the exact train they need to board at the exact right time is a bit off. The t-cog situation is interesting and I can't help but wonder how that whole mess really works. The High Guard popping out of the ground like cabbage patch kids. D-16 suddenly choosing to betray his best friend for reasons that were not given enough time to justify.

It's just a lot of smaller things that added up, when combined with the pacing, to create something a bit off. However, overall, the base story attempting to be told is very solid, only needing to be tweaked and refined to add further depth and give characters reasons to be there at all.

A very solid 7.5 - 8/10 movie when viewed overall.

The World Building

(Current questions & Information + musings)

Cybertronians don't bleed, unlike other continuities.

I find this fact downright fascinating. When characters are killed, they don't bleed. TFP bled, pretty sure other continuities did as well. Except for G1 at any rate. It's an interesting take since energon appears to be a liquid, not crystal, on this new version of Cybertron. That leads me to believe that it must be pure energy since the moment it is taken in, it appears to go straight into powering the bot in question, rather than flowing through their veins. They are far more machine like, and I have had that fact grow on me a lot. Less alien, more mechanical.

The cogless had their cogs removed before coming online. Where are said cogs now?

It really is fascinating to think about. Sentinel had all of these T-cogs removed, presumably thousands upon thousands of them. I have to wonder, were they destroyed? Stored away in case on of the bots allowed to have their cogs needed a new one? If they were thrown away, how did no one notice or snag a few? There are many questions regarding how this big biological aspect of the cogless was kept from them.

Where are these bots forged? No Well of Allsparks was mentioned, at least to my memory.

It was stated that the first Primes came from Primus's core, which adds up since they are the closest this new continuity has to demi-gods. I would say that it would be likely that bots just clamber on out like the Primes did, but considering how fricking long that fall was for Orion, I have my doubts. Personally, I'm thinking this continuity probably is going the hotspot route where bots just kinda pop out of the ground in certain places. They obviously aren't climbing since they weren't online for their T-cogs to be removed. That leads me to believe that they likely form in hotspots and are cultivated until they are ready to come online. This would give Sentinel plenty of time to do a little removal all easy peasy.

Cycles are years. Days are days.

Interesting take on time, but ultimately kind of useless on its own. Lots of human time terms are used, so it seems cycles is just in there for alien factor. A unique take all the same though. I like it.

Primus is mentioned and acknowledged, but there is no mention of Unicron whatsoever.

It's really quite fascinating, but not particularly surprising considering the setting TF One takes place in. Many bots are uneducated, and with the fall of the Primes, it could very well be that no one knows about Unicron anymore because the threat he posed paled in comparison to the Quintessons. It could also be that Sentinel might have had any records about him removed in order to keep the population afraid of one threat, rather than many. It's not as thought Sentinel can deny Primus exists. But Unicron? Can't see it? No need to believe it. Still, it will be fun to see if Unicron ever comes up.

The war with the Quintessons is stated to have gone on for thousands of cycles, and yet there are few ruins. Just how devastating was it? How powerful are the Primes?

I am of the belief that long ago, Cybertron was an empire. There were cities everywhere and the surface was most likely covered in defenses. Most likely, the Quintessons whittled away at Cybertron's surface population, hence the war going on for so long and the people retreating underground into their creator's shell. The Primes appear to be powerful, but they were most likely scattered across the surface to try and limit the damage done by the enemy. The war was likely very close to be lost after millennia of being continually under siege when the Primes finally fell. In a sense, Sentinel likely did buy Cybertron time, but he also doomed them by destroying what history they had that might have helped them.

Are there other cities on Cybertron? There has to be, considering how large the planet is, but the offered energon to the Quintessons tells a different story. What happened?

We don't have enough information to make a good guess, but I personally believe, as stated above, that most cities were likely wiped out. Those who survived fled underground, meaning that most cities are either few and far between, or they are so sprawling that 'Iacon' encompasses far more area that we are led to believe. The offering of energon could have possibly been so small because it has been so long. Maybe, once upon a time, the offerings were far larger since more cities could bring energon in. It's hard to tell.

Is Cybertron in a post apocalyptic state?

I think so. Considering the ruins on the surface, the suppression of the masses, and the struggle to get energon, I do think that Cybertron is sitting in such a state when the movie is happening. The setting scene in Transformers One, and Iacon in particular, appear to be the last gasp of a dying race after what could have been a siege lasting up to thousands upon thousands of years.

T-cogs evidently have a certain amount of biological alteration involved in their acquisition.

This can be seen in Megatron when he takes Megatronus Prime's T-cog. Personally, I think this says something about the use of a T-cog. Some appear to be more suited toward combat whilst others have other uses. It appears to be Cybertron's version of the genetic lottery, since up until one gets a T-cog, it seems as though it is quite impossible to determine alt-mode or abilities. Look at Jazz. He didn't get his little door wings until after he got his T-cog. This has a lot of implications for T-cog inheritance too. Is that a thing that can happen? Does it affect various bots differently? Many many questions.

Does the T-cog have an effect on the mentality of those who inherit it? Was Alpha Trion aware of this when he chose which T-cogs to give to the crew?

I honestly think it's impossible to know at the moment. We don't have enough lore to make a solid assessment. But I would like to think it at least has some effect on the bot in question when they get a T-cog that was not originally theirs. Again, look at Megatron. Maybe Alpha Trion selected the Primes with the most adaptability for a reason. Perhaps some of those latent traits present themselves in their new wielders. I don't know, but I would very much like to.

Cogless bots are essentially children.

They are smaller, slower, and from the looks of it, less liable to fight against those larger than them (although that could just be common sense.) They don't appear to be less intelligent or anything, but I do imagine the T-cog is a sort of wakeup protocol for bots. It diversifies them, allowing for specialization. So yeah, from the looks of things, they might as well be children frame wise.

No noticeable spark chambers. Instead, we have the slot for T-cogs.

I find it downright fascinating that instead of having a way to expose their sparks, the TF One bots instead expose their slot for their T-cog. There's not a ton I can gather from this lore except for the fact that this must mean sparks are likely farther into the frame and more protected, and like a human heart, probably not meant to be seen.

(Also the smut writers are going to have to get creative)

There are different Primes this time around. Still Thirteen of them, but a few old and new faces from various continuities.

I have no clue what it implies for the most part, but from the looks of it, we aren't going to have an IDW/TFP Arisen any time soon. All the Primes are named, have faces, and are confirmed to be dead. There's no mystery here about some secret resurrection Prime goofing around in the background. I like it personally, even if it does limit the more mythological aspects that could be present in this new continuity.

There don't appear to be any sort of familiar or mentor-mentee social structures on Cybertron. We also don't see anyone who acts young enough to possibly be newly forged. Does this mean everyone comes online with basic knowledge? Or are they put through bootcamp before even entering society?

Again, I'm thinking the bots are raised like cabbage patch kids, grown and watched over wherever they form until they come online. Then, most likely, the cogless just kinda figure it out, IDW style. Same goes for the rest of the population.

How are the cogless selected for their fate? Is it random since Sentinel removed their T-cogs before they even came online?

It's a good question that I would like the answer to. Most likely, it's a numbers game. Special traits don't appear to present until a bot gets their alt-mode, leading me to believe that the cogless are selected based purely off how many miners are needed at the time.

D-16 gained a weapon via being angry. Do all bots have that? Is it a stress response? Or is D-16 special like that?

Again, the T-cog question. It feels like it's related to biology somehow, but I don't have enough info to make a solid guess.

The Matrix is referred to as an entity. Why is that?

No bloody clue but I really hope the dang thing talks or has some sort of unique ability aside from being an extra battery that gives Optimus a really cool axe.

The bots have eyelids and tongues.

It makes sense that they have them. I just think it's neat.

Some bots have real names. Other do not.

I have no clue what this implies, but I am running under the assumption that there is either a criteria to meet to get a name, or bots just pick their names and roll with it.

The Ending + Implications

(How I think things will go from here in future films.)

The ending scene was ridiculous and felt chucked in there above all else (note: I am referring to everything after the t-cogs are distributed). However, it did offer a hint of insight into what is coming in the future.

Based on what Transformers One presented, and the fact that it has been stated that it will (if all goes well) be part of a trilogy, I have a few predictions for the coming films. Of course this is all speculation because the movie ended on a rather open ended note without much foreshadowing for what is to come, at least on the surface. So take this as my musings above all else.

Firstly, the Quintessons are going to be removed or otherwise sidelined as a threat. Optimus's line regarding the Quintessons at the end of the film leads me to believe that they were more of a plot device than anything else, and I expect them to become even less prominent going forward. I simply cannot see them being the BBEG of the trilogy considering the layout of the movie. Although it is very possible that they could serve as a minor antagonist to push the war along in later films.

If things continue as they are and the creators keep to the origin story vibe, then I see the second movie as likely focusing heavily on the war and its rapid fall into sheer chaos. I expect it to be fast paced, just like Transformers One. So quite likely, it will be a series of battles, schemes, and Megatron marching his armies while Optimus desperately tries to rally his people and fight back.

The second movie will probably be split between Autobot and Decepticon perspectives, Avengers Civil War style if I had to guess.

We will likely see Megatron gathering troops and capturing territory while Optimus fortifies what land Sentinel previously controlled in order to try and limit conflict (and promptly fail).

Optimus will go through some arc or another that gets him to fight seriously, but considering this is Optimus, he is probable to maintain his attitude of 'I can fix him' at least to an extent. Although, considering how he sent Megatron away, we may be surprised going forward.

We are going to be introduced to key Autobot and Decepticon characters throughout the second movie. Prowl, Jazz, Ironhide, Arcee, and others. Starscream, Soundwave, Shockwave, and the rest will likely get actual development.

There will probably be at least one peace talk that goes south the instant Optimus dares to breathe in Megatron's general direction.

Elita is bound to get more screen time than she deserves.

Bumblebee will earn his name and either have his voice taken from him, or he will end up forcefully silenced through some other means, perhaps a vow or trauma. Depends on how mature the creators want to make him in the future.

Megatron will probably end up seeing Orion as having died in some capacity, either that, or he will see everything Optimus stands for as a betrayal of their shared history and a insult to the suffering of the cogless.

The third movie will likely end with both factions abandoning Cybertron during a great exodus (if they are trying to follow G1/comic canon vaguely.) I simply don't see the films moving to Earth since that's been seriously overused over the past twenty or so years.

I anticipate the introduction and or the alteration of previously well known characters throughout all the films. Since the creators have been willing to adjust the origin as much as they have, nothing is off the table.

Those are all the predictions I can make at the moment considering there has been very little to work with foreshadowing wise.

My Suggested Adjustments

(My thoughts for an ideal TF One which stays within the time limit, keeps to the established plot & acknowledges the future existence of more films.)

Now, again, before I begin my edit rant, I will try my very best to keep to the plot of the film and not go off track. I will be offering edits, not a rewrite (yet). Also, most of this is just musing and things I would like to see, not professional writing. Take with a grain of salt. That said, here's what I would adjust.

I would add a few lines of dialogue during D-16 and Orion's chat on the train to hint at Orion having a fascination with the surface and/or skeptic attitude toward what they've been told backed with a desire to check things out for himself. This would be just to build a little extra character. Additionally, during their chat, D-16 can remind Orion that the surface is dangerous not only because of the Quints, but because the traitors are up there. The wild High Guard, now gone mad. Orion can wave him off, stating he's not going to become like Starscream before moving onto his discussion about how he has a feeling like he's meant for something greater. The conversation can then continue as normal.

Remove Elita from the mining scene in the beginning. Have someone like Ironhide be the team leader so that his gruff personality can really drive home just how dangerous their job is before they even get started. Instead of Elita's rant, Ironhide can again remind his group about the risks of their work and maybe even discuss how someone got his or her lower half crushed in the last tunnel collapse. The group can then rush to get to work, with D-16 and Orion being all buddy buddy about it. D-16 and Orion can greet a few of their fellows, maybe assisting a bit in order to bring in more familiar faces. A brief pause can occur for Elita to look down on the group from her position overseeing things. She and Orion can share a brief look/nod/salute/gesture that D-16 can then mock and Orion can use to remind his brother in arms that Elita is an old friend, nothing more thing less. Elita can then call down, ordering them to get a move on before they get in trouble. Ironhide can then get the group hustling into the tunnel. This would solidify Elita's place of power while also introducing other characters and the harshness of the work.

The mining scene can go on as usual, but when the rescue happens, Elita can jump down and order Orion and D-16 back, maybe yelling something like: "Pax, D-16, pull back! I won't ruin my record with three deaths in one day!" in order to cement her deep care for her position. And once they make it out safely, Elita can check Jazz over for a moment before getting in Orion's face, D-16 probably trying to not be involved. There they can share some dialogue that shows Elita's exasperation with him, but also her fondness. Perhaps something like this:

"How many times have we done this Orion? I can't keep letting you break protocol!"

"Even to save a few lives?"

"We are miners. Danger is part of the job. Your recklessness is a liability."

"Even though it saved you from that tunnel collapse last cycle?"

"That is beside the point Orion, and you know it. You really need to develop some self-preservation skills."

Then of course Darkwing can jump down and fire Elita, only this time instead of being as sudden as it was in the original TF One, Elita can instead be fired for letting Orion and D-16 off yet again AND sustaining an injury to her team (RIP Jazz's leg). She can fight back, saying that lives were saved despite the breech of protocol. Darkwing can then shoot her down again even when Orion steps up to try and take the blame. This way, Elita can have the final straw moment with Orion, her expression being bitter as she has her rank badge ripped off. Her dialogue with Darkwing can hint that this is not the first time she's let things slide, hence the demotion. She can look at Orion and D-16 in sheer anger, shaking with rage as she murmurs about how hard she worked for this position before shoving past both of them. This would make her less agitating as a character but still give her ample room for snark and anger while maintaining a connection to our main cast.

When Sentinel gives his message to the people, D-16 can get just as excited TF One canon, but Orion can be a bit skeptical. The scene with Elita can influence him, making whatever skeptical nature he'd developed all the more real. Perhaps, as a bonus, Sentinel mentions that the winner of this race will get to request something from him/get a new rank. Seeing this, Orion will then want to get in both to try and prove a point, and to hopefully make it so that he can get himself and those closest to him to a high enough rank to make a difference. His hope could be that if they won, he could request better oversight in the mines and a chance to show their grievances. D-16 can still, of course, not want to be involved when Orion implores him to try and be something greater.

The race scene can stay as is, only changing to show Soundwave AND Arachnid by Sentinel's side. But when the duo are in the med bay, Ratchet can come by to fix these two idiots up. Instead of being cogless, he can be one of the higher ranked bots and perhaps serve Sentinel personally. While Orion and D-16 have their little banter session, he can work on them and probably tell them to shut up before the Prime arrives. Perhaps he also comments on their poor repair, wondering if the mines have medics. D-16 and Orion can state that they do not, earning Ratchet's anger since he assumed they at least had basic health care. Maybe he even tells them to watch their mouths, or perhaps praising them for their stupidity and being mildly in awe of it. This could set him up as an ally later.

The discussion with Sentinel can go as it does in canon, but when he leaves with Arachnid, it can be Soundwave who is ordered to 'remove' them. Soundwave can hesitate, looking at the duo and then at Ratchet would could try to object since he would know what is coming. Soundwave, ever the loyal aid to his Prime, could then call Darkwing in to take D-16 and Orion to their fate. Soundwave can even look genuinely upset at the scene, his fists all clenched up as the duo cry out in confusion. Ratchet can curse, and the scene can end with our two heroes being thrown down to sub-level fifty where no one without an alt mode with wings can escape.

Down in sub-level fifty, it can be a horror show. A huge set of incinerators where huge conveyor belts are transporting waste to the fires without end. Maybe there are even a handful of bodies amongst the mix, miners and other cogless. D-16 can continue to believe it must have been some huge mixup, perhaps getting all angry about it before B-127 appears from the rubbish, looking terrifying and scuttling over to them. He can get all up in their faces, maybe touching them to ensure they are in fact alive before his mask lifts and he goes right into being himself. He can have his nickname moment, but it can be mixed in with him showing the duo around the fires, giving them some warnings like:

"Don't mess with the bodies, those tend to be infected."

"Watch where you step! Don't want to miss energon by accident. It's rare down here!"

"With you two here, I won't have to worry about accidentally ending up on the conveyors while recharging!"

B-127 can ramble for a bit, much to our duo's horror. Then he can show them his makeshift residence, made of trash and other things. Inside can be all sorts of wacky things, including STEVE. As he's showing off his collection and gleefully pointing out things from various cities he's found, D-16 can marvel at a few of the older wartime relics Bee has and Orion can sift through Bee's stack of random reading and viewing material. As D-16 tries to smile through B-127's eager explanations of how he found things, Orion can note the symbol of the Primes on one of the small disks B-127 has. Bee can notice and exclaim how he found it on the body of someone from the High Guard forever ago. At that, D-16 can recoil, but Orion can turn the disk on.

The message can be revealed as normal, and again, Orion can convince D-16 to go despite the threat. Being trapped underground, they decide to give it a shot. B-127 sadly points out that he's been down in the sublevels for actual cycles and he's never been able to get out, not without a T-cog. At this point, he can show off his damaged T-cog, taking it from one of his shelves for all to see. The duo can be quite confused as Bee states that he came online with it broken, mentioning how he felt someone trying to mess with it before he was thrown into the sublevels. Orion's suspicions can grow, D-16 can become more adamant that something OTHER than Sentinel is going on here, and from there, they can use B-127's things and tools to work their way out. Perhaps they construct a grappling gun, or otherwise use old material to tower their way up to a vent on the far wall. D-16 can undo all the screws with some difficulty as the conveyor belts below them threaten to drag them into the fires. But with time, they can quickly crawl their way out, perhaps with D-16 grabbing Bee before he can fall back into the rubble below.

From there, Orion can use his knowledge of all things underhanded to begin guiding them up toward the surface. D-16 can add his input by feeling for wind currents and whatnot. All the while, B-127 can tell them he's heard of a train depot nearby, considering maps and other things that fell into the rubble with him + shaking over head occasionally.

Once they get to the depot, they can try to join the masses of miners loading up the train carts. Attempting to blend in, they grab grates and try to move quietly and just, not emerge from the train once they get on it since they know its heading to the surface. But as they are waiting to load, they encounter Elita. She engages with them, attempting to stop them as a form of retribution and even arguing that she's saved their hides one too many times. Orion, despite his respect for her, pushing his group on. They push past Elita, discarding stealth in favor of leaping into the train before it can take off. Elita, still upset and desperate to stop them from causing more harm, throws herself in after them with the intent to stop them. The doors close before she can, and in anger, she pauses, and books it toward the front of the train to try and halt it. Being smaller and nimble, she dodges attempts to grab at her, even knocking a crate over which hits Orion. As they make it to the surface of the train, D-16 and Orion lag behind, but B-127 manages to slow Elita down by grabbing her leg long enough for Orion to also pull himself up and grab her arm before she can hit them.

Then the traintop scene can play out as normal.

Once they are thrown to the ground, Elita can still get up in Orion's face, but instead of losing her cool, she can instead grab him, take a few breathes, and say something along the lines of this:

"Orion, since they day we met, you've been a thorn in my side. Always getting me intro trouble whenever you decide to run off with your go-bot buddies and make a scene."

"I know. And I'm sorry. But this... this is beyond any of that. We could find the Matrix, Elita. We could do what Sentinel hasn't been able to. We can save our home."

"And that is the only reason I haven't tried to punch you yet, Pax. But if this mission of yours fails, if this is all some grand hoax, I'm taking you and your pals back to Iacon and getting my rank returned to me."

"That's fine, because I quite firmly believe that this is the real deal."

"It better be, or you can bet your bolts I'm never going to let you live this down."

"I wouldn't expect anything else."

Orion and Elita share a moment of reconciliation before they both look over the map together. Leaning on each other for support as they follow the coordinates. All the while, D-16 and B-127 comment on the scenery, and helping their group avoid various hazards. D-16 might even note how there aren't an High Guard rebels, a fact that leaves him suspicious, especially as the group passes through increasingly frequent ruins, all inhabited by the bodies of bots who bear the symbol of the High Guard, or the long dismantled old Cybertronian army. D-16 might even see how it seems as though a few of the High Guard were actively trying to defend civilians, as evidenced by the bodies. This leaves him thoughtful, less angry.

There should be a few flashes of the group taking cover as strange creatures move on the surface. B-127 can pause to gather up some abandoned weaponry from an old base, earning commentary from Elita-One about how she never knew they once had so many cities on the surface. It should be a somewhat solemn march, and as they go, they can practice with their haphazard firearms by shooting as various targets to acquire what energon they can and to scare off random creatures. Orion notes the cities they pass through, listing off names he's read in the archives and being saddened by the fact that they lost so much. D-16 becomes more and more upset as they go, seeing the bodies and wondering why Sentinel hasn't recollected abandoned resources or otherwise given the dead a bit of respect in light of the fact that they haven't seen a single enemy so far.

The scene running from the Quintesson scanner can continue as normal, and the group can rush to the cave as they watch the huge ship loom overhead. The cave scene can also continue as normal, only this time, the group can be even more distraught since they've seen the remnants of their old empire and already have doubts. Awakening Alpha Trion can go as normal, as can Sentinel's discussion with the Quintessons.

D-16 and Orion can get into a slightly more heated debate than normal when they return. Orion exclaims his desire to have the people get their justice, making sure everyone knows their loss. D-16 can agree, but their argument can occur when Orion makes it clear that the people come before getting revenge on Sentinel. This does not go over well with D-16, and although Elita and B-127 attempt to step in, Orion and D-16 begin to argue more furiously until at last, Alpha Trion steps up and pushes them apart gently. Probably saying something like:

"Primus has a plan for all his creations. Do not judge too quickly, instead, act with wisdom and foresight."

Trion can offer the values of his fallen brethren, encouraging D-16 to act as Megatronus Prime would, as a guardian of the people, their voice and their sword. In turn, he can urge Orion to follow after Prima or Zeta, telling him to use his noble spark to be a voice of reason. He might turn to the Elita and B-127, but then he notes that they are low on time. From here, Trion can give the group the T-cogs of the fallen Primes and hurriedly usher them out as Arachnid draws near. The escape progresses as normal, and Orion and D-16 again have their debate. Orion stands his ground a bit longer, showing a hint of anger. But remembering Alpha Trion's words, he consoles himself and D-16 by stating that he trusts D-16, which in turn diffuses the tension.

The group can move quietly, with Elita being solemn and B-127 a bit shaken up. Orion and D-16 discuss what they plan to do as Elita watches for enemy units and B-127 hurries ahead to scout. As they talk, it becomes clear that Orion wants to rally the people and spread the truth first and foremost. Meanwhile, D-16 wants to strike hard and fast, a tactful assault meant to end Sentinel. They can worry about the truth later in his mind. They argue for a while, and as they fight, Orion can get a bit aggressive, leading D-16 to push him. As they tussle, they end up tumbling, and despite both B-127 and Elita telling them to shush and trying to pry them apart, the group are unable to evade the High Guard soldiers that surround them. they aren't given a chance to fight back before Shockwave orders their capture.

The scene with Sentinel and Alpha Trion can go as normal.

The group can wake to Shockwave assessing them, noting that their T-cogs are not biologically theirs. He finds this interesting, and since they are of interest, he prepares to remove said T-cogs/perform other surgeries to see if they are a new flavor of spy. D-16's fears are confirmed for a moment, up until Skywarp and Thundercracker stop him, ordering Shockwave to bring the prisoners to Starscream. The name rattles the group, causing them all to bunch up in momentary fear. But when they are brought before him, Starscream looks at them all in intrigue. He questions them, asking why they were on the surface at all since its essentially a barren wasteland. Shockwave points out their T-cogs, and Starscream finds it suspicious. Skywarp and Thundercracker guard the group, one with a gun to B-127's helm to keep him quiet.

Starscream steps before the group, scarred and battered, maybe even a little sickly looking from lack of energon. The rest of his soldiers aren't much better. He assesses the group before concluding that they aren't spies, merely newbuilds who got too curious for their own good. Not wanting them to go back and spill the beans about the High Guard, Starscream offers them a place as soldiers in his ranks, confirming that they fought against Sentinel, not the Primes. He also makes it clear that he will require the group's information regarding energon, that being his major reason for keeping them at all.

At his point, D-16 can step up, angry and unwilling to serve another false prophet. He refuses to bow to a mech who fled, and then their battle goes on as normal. D-16 proceeds to hold Starscream captive, stopping Thundercracker and Skywarp, Starscream's lieutenants, from acting and ordering the rest to attack. He declares his desire to fight, to strike back against the enemy while they still can. He points out their weakness, their lack of energon, and describes his experiences in the mines. Knowing they served the Primes, D-16 repeats the tenants of Megatronus Prime taught to him by Alpha Trion, rallying the High Guard. The High Guard, seeing his passion, and after watching him beat down a few more bots eager to stop him, agree to follow his lead. Starscream is allowed to live, only because Orion steps up and grabs D-16's blaster. They have a moment of tension, but it fades as D-16 throws Orion off and declares that he knows the mines and can guide them in for an assault on Sentinel. The High Guard, having little to lose and finally having a chance to fight, are eager to serve.

Orion can then step up, upset that D-16 cares more about vengeance than the truth. D-16 states that they can share the truth later, once Sentinel is dead. Elita steps up to calm Orion, urging him to not be rash and compromise. B-127 attempts a similar method with D-16 and urging him to at least take time to plan. Orion and D-16 do not back down, and just as Orion asks for them to at least take time to discuss things, the attack from Arachnid occurs.

The battle goes as normal, but in its aftermath, Thundercracker, Skywarp, and Shockwave remain, along with about half their troops. Elita tries to get Orion up and going, reminding him of how his nature has saved bots time and time again in the mines, and how his instincts brought them there, to their newfound truth. She comforts him with a quick hug, urging him to get back up now that they have information to spread and friends to save. Orion agrees, and speaks with Thundercracker, Skywarp, and Shockwave. He bargains temporary leadership by offering the same information D-16 had, the way into Iacon. The High Guard are hesitant, but they follow if only to have one final hit at Sentinel before their end. They are all sickly anyway, and Thundercracker can note that without Starscream, they don't have much motivation anyway.

The group can board up on a train that passes by, throwing out the crates and loading soldiers instead. Elita takes control of the bridge with the help of Shockwave who guides her through security protocols. When asked how he can do that, he simply states that he once served Sentinel, keeping it vague and maybe stating he was his head scientist at one point and that his credentials are still valid since he was assumed dead. It could be something like that. And Shockwave can get them past security without issue. Thundercracker and or Skywarp rally the troops as Orion leaps from the train, making his way toward the mines.

There, he can speak to his fellows. Covered in soot, grime, and ash, he can hold a gun given to him by Skywarp before his leap, and he can make his grand speech. There, the miners are hesitant even after being told the truth. But Ironhide and Jazz can step up, offering their belief and support. Seeing that, other faces from the mining scene earlier in the film come forward, willing to fight. Orion tells them to gather up their tools, to fight for their freedom, and from there, the miners also raise concerns about their wounds. At that point, Ratchet can step forward, stating that he can help. Orion is in awe, but is even more shocked when he gets word that Soundwave of all bots is offering aid and supplies. More soldiers join the miners, eager to fight. Ratchet can smile, picking up a pistol and declaring that he, Soundwave, and a few others have had enough of turning a blind eye to the injustices committed by Sentinel and his kind.

D-16's interaction with Sentinel goes as normal, although Starscream does pipe up along with B-127, attempting to save D-16 neck as he refuses to bow. After Sentinel carves the symbol and Arachnid points out their incoming enemies, the scene can shift to show cogless, not cogless, and High Guard soldiers alike all pouring onto the premises. Sentinel can demand to know why their defenses are lowered, turning to Soundwave in anger. Soundwave for his part can then betray Sentinel openly, showing his distaste and getting a solid punch in before he's thrown across the room. On the ground, Ironhide can be seen directing soldiers alongside a future Decepticon of choice, perhaps the Stunticons or Constructicons help him tear down some walls or other defenses. Ratchet can also be seen working with a few of the cogless and offering covering fire as Jazz and Prowl rush forward to get in a few potshots with their far too large weapons.

The battle progresses as normal, and Orion manages to get the truth out as per usual. The scenes shift to show bots all across the city swarming in anger, breaking things and fighting anything or anyone that looks like they might follow Sentinel. Elita and B-127 celebrate and Orion orders them to go assist with controlling the assault in order to capture Sentinel's followers and limit the chaos. They agree and rush off, but Orion soon finds himself in the battle with D-16 and Sentinel.

The Fall goes as normal, only having a bit more aggression on Orion's part as he pleads with his best friend, begging him to at least wait until the people can judge Sentinel themselves. They are fighting for freedom of choice, and he tries to dissuade his friend for D-16's sake. Unfortunately, the Fall goes as planned, and D-16 lets Orion drop after he comes to the conclusion that it would be better for Orion to die here than to witness what he's going to do next. He may even tell Orion as such, calling it a mercy. Then, he lets him fall.

Megatron rises as normal, and Orion is brought to Primus's core. There he hears whispers, contrasting Megatron's speech. Orion hears the Primes speaking to him, each murmuring softly and quietly showing him visions of times gone by between him and D-16, a final goodbye of sorts. Then, it ends with the Matrix bestowed, and Optimus Prime is born as a chorus of voices calls his name. He rises to the surface as Megatron starts shooting at Elita and B-127, Soundwave joining him along with Starscream who covers his back. More future Decepticons rally around him, helping him in his rampage while the cogless and Ratchet try to limit the crossfire. It all ends as Optimus Prime comes forth.

Their battle can then progress as normal, with Megatron being banished. Optimus can still be sorrowful, but something hardens in his gaze as he turns away from where Megatron fled. He had his moment to let go when he took the Matrix, and now he's ready for war. He gathers his allies, looking over the devastation and up toward the surface. Elita comforts him quietly with a smile and a hand on his shoulder. B-127 notes Optimus's new height and points out the people below, the cogless all watching in awe. Elita encourages him to speak, and Optimus does just that, rallying his people one more time with encouragement and a declaration that they must move onward, to reclaim their freedom and their world.

He raises the Matrix high, and energon again flows. The people are thrilled, and soon they each begin to step closer to the streams of energon. The cogless lean close, and their T-cogs are returned to them. The movie closes with Optimus's narration about how their battle is not yet over, and how it has merely begun. All the while, Optimus is shown getting his people in line, Elita standing proudly by his side as he begins to organize his troops. Ratchet smiles and pats him on the shoulder, Ironhide flexes and picks up a blaster, Jazz gleefully flutters his door wings. The people salute and cheer as Optimus passes. The scene then changes to Megatron with the High Guard, rebuilding their destroyed ship. Megatron welcomes new recruits from Iacon into his ranks.

Everything ends with the two leaders looking up toward the surface, ending with Optimus overlooking their world and seeing a Quintesson ship flying away as he gives his closing narration.

This is roughly how I would adjust the movie, minus all the itty bittie things that would have to be brought up with the animators and voice actors. But plot wise, these are my adjustments. It would lay the groundwork for future films and also establish character lore early. So yeah, enjoy my take.

Arguments Against My Critiques

(Q&A against Strawmen. More of a joke than anything else don't take it too seriously.)

The movie is aimed toward a younger audience. You shouldn't be so serious with your review.

The movie had Megatron quite literally tear a mech in half. On screen. No cuts. It also dealt with the slaughter of actual Primes and touched dark themes like slavery and the beginnings of an Orwellian society on Cybertron. Sure, it had jokes and gags aimed at younger audiences, but this film was created with so many Easter eggs and callbacks that I cannot find it in myself to believe the creators were aiming for a children's film. They made it for Transformers, a franchise forty years old. When messing with such an old franchise that has always touched delicate and serious themes throughout all its media, you have to consider old and new fans alike.

Thus, I feel no inclination to be nice in my assessment. This is a film that's trying to reach all Transformers fans, so I will assess it as a full and proper movie.

The studio only had 75 million dollars and a tight time limit for the film. Can't a few allowances for pacing issues be made?

No, no allowances cannot be made. A good piece of media should be able to stand on its own, and a well constructed film should be capable of cutting excess fat in order to keep the movie on track. Transformers One was trying to do the seemingly impossible by shoving an entire origin story in one film. While I think it was possible to have been done tastefully, as seen by the glorious scenes spread throughout the film, they failed to make the pacing make sense.

They had roughly and hour and forty minutes to make their story happen, and far too much of that time was spent on meaningless characters and scenes. If that time was reallocated, the film could have dealt with much of its pacing problems. It probably wouldn't fix everything considering the tight timeframe for such rich characters, but it was doable.

Additionally, 75 million is MORE than enough to make a quality film. I doubt funds were an issue here. Although they might be going forward.

Orion was in a state of shock and couldn't be expected to act perfectly considering the situation. And D-16 anger made perfect sense so there is no need to criticize them both so harshly.

I partially agree. I can't judge them too much because on their own, these traits of theirs are expected and in fact, good for their development. Unfortunately, due to the pacing, D-16's combustive rage and Orion's passiveness came off as rushed and somewhat childish on both Orion and D-16's side. I judge them harshly because their arcs feel like whiplash, or in Orion's case, unfinished. I'm willing to give D-16 a little room because his arc actually arced, it did its thing and finished in a convincing manner (disregarding the pacing). But Orion? Nah. I judge him and D-16 because they could have been so much more given TIME.

The plot wasn't that bad. The progression made sense on paper and each shift in the narrative led into the next scene without much trouble.

I'm sure it did! I really am! If I were writing a novel with this plot, it would make sense when blocked out! But the presentation of an idea is what defines it. Transformers One had a perfectly acceptable outline, I'm sure. But the pacing threw the entire thing into a blender and topped it with mustard and kale. Because of the pacing, the plot itself started to fall apart, especially with excess bloating in the form of unneeded scenes and characters. It's a shame since I'm certain that given enough time and proper progression, the jerky scene shifts could have been made spectacular.

The High Guard could have worked. They really could have. But they needed foreshadowing and time. The same goes for a lot of things in Transformers One.

Why are you so harsh with Elita-One? She finally got some spotlight and had a chance to shine!

A shiny turd is still a turd. Next question.

You can't expect every background character to have depth or for there to be a thousand cities for the cast to traverse.

True enough! But to that, all I can say is: Environmental factors.

I don't need to see Kaon, Tarn, Helex, Uraya, Polyhex, Rodion, or any of the other cities seen in various Transformers lore to know they exist and feel the world is bigger (And if they don't exist in TF One then it would be a great hint at the horrors inflicted by the Quints to state that there are no other cities anymore). All it would have taken was a bit of background lore and attention to detail to make me and other viewers feel like there's more to Cybertron than a cave, a field, and a city. A few posters on the walls, some background chatter from side characters, maybe even Bumblebee mimicking various accents from around Cybertron since he's meant to be comic relief. Heck, just show various flashes of bots in other cities being shooketh during the big reveal with Sentinel and suddenly the world feels so much more lived in.

And for characters? I don't need Soundwave's entire biography to feel he's rich. Look at Arachnid. I know next to nothing about her but she feels alive. All the side characters needed were important side roles and a few actions worthy of note. Think of TFP Soundwave who hardly ever centered but was always there. Always doing something to assist the main story. It really shouldn't be that hard to make a world feel alive. Just attention to detail.

Why does the voice actor for Orion/Optimus matter so much? What's the point in focusing so much on it?

It matters because there is a distinct change between Orion Pax and Optimus Prime. Frankly, you could have anyone be Orion because Orion is the origin. But when it comes time for him to grow, to become more? That's when its time to put on a warface and give Optimus Prime a voice that matches the name. Optimus Prime isn't just a name, it's a title, it's a long string of powerful characters each showcasing empathy and strength in equal measure. If Optimus's voice is not distinctive or powerful, his resonance as a character is seriously damaged. Now why don't I share this opinion for Megatron? Because Megatron doesn't have a frickin relic in his chest. Megatron is a voice for the people. Megatron is the embodiment of strife and anguish. His rage and his passion is what gives him distinction, not necessarily the commanding tone of his voice.

It's a difference in character that makes me care so much about the voices for Orion Pax and Optimus Prime so much.

Why bother with such a long review at all?

Because Transformers One is the first not-garbage to come out in over a decade. (No, I do not like Earthspark. That's a whole other animal and I don't think I'd have the willpower to actually watch the thing again for a review of this length.)

I want to give this film the respect it deserves by showing my every thought for it. I want to show people that despite all its good and bad features, its still something to think about and acknowledge. I don't want something this groundbreaking for our beloved franchise to go down the drain because people were too apathetic to care or too blinded by new content to use their brains and help develop better things going forward.

Final Note

(Best film ever? No. Great addition to the Transformers Franchise? Yes.)

Transformers One was a masterclass in setting a scene and establishing relationships. Everything in the first ten to fifteen minutes of film was brilliant in regards to setting up the world and our main characters. Even if I weren't a Transformers fan, I would care about the brotherhood between Orion and D-16, or at least understand it. The visuals were stunning but not too intrusive and the film was clearly made with love. The characters that were given screen time were fleshed out as much as they could be considering the constraints. And while a great many things were very out of place and made no sense logically, at least within the rapid fire time frame that is the film, the overall movie was enjoyable right up until the meeting with the High Guard, at which point things became a bit contrived.

The plot was whack considering the film's short run time. Some things were very janky. The Quintessons weren't shown nearly enough or given sufficient presence. But again, lots of this was just a side effect of not having enough time to get things rolling slowly and properly as they should have been. It was a kick back, binge on popcorn, and scream at Easter eggs type movie.

If you want something colorful to look at and a half decent set of characters to enjoy, go right on ahead and watch TF One. You certainly won't rot braincells like you would watching some of the Bay films, but I can't in good concious say that TF One is better than older things like Prime. It is a brilliant concept that needed more time. It needed probably a two and a half to three hour runtime to set up, to get the ball rolling in a meaningful manner, and to establish the broken friendships and rivalries in a far more intimate manner. The concepts are lovely, the scenes are well done, but its a pity that it was cut so short and so many things were shoved together when they could have shone on their own in the proper setting.

There was so much there, and yet so much missing. So many pieces that fit well and yet so much more that was cast aside altogether. It is an imperfect thing, but this movie isn't a bad introduction or addition to the Transformers franchise, not in the slightest. Its a new start, a chance to make things better for this fandom and its abysmal run of bad movie after bad movie developed in Bay explosion style topped with far too much emphasis on humanity.

I believe that while TF One isn't going to be my personal favorite, or even the next big thing for the time being, it sets a new standard. No longer can we be fed garbage, because now we've been given a chance to look at something better. Hopefully, TF One will set the groundwork and foundation for far better films and shows going forward, giving this fandom new life and redeeming our sullied name as the big explosion robot fanatics.

TF One is flawed, but its a start. It's a fledgling attempt to make something new and interesting in a show business that is dead set on killing creativity and squashing anything of quality in an attempt to press an ideology. It is the baby steps shown by people who care. People who want to see the movies they never got. I will not fault it or the creators for existing. It may not be Lord of the Rings, War for Cybertron, Transformers Prime, the comics, or other big names, but it is a hope for the future.

It's not a bad movie. It was simply born in a bad time.

With that said, I'd recommend watching it at least once, if only to get a glimpse of what we have gotten and to have hope for what we might get going forward. I certainly intend to fill in holes with fanfiction, but that's just part of fandom, is it not? Enjoy this new piece of media, but don't take it too seriously. It's flawed just like everything else, but can be taken for what gifts it brings.

"We could have built the future together."

"I'll build it myself, after I tear down everyone in my way."

#transformers #maccadam #transformers one #tf one 2024 #tf one #tf one spoilers #tf one megatron #tf one elita #tf one orion pax #tf one bumblebee #tf one review #tf analysis #character analysis #this took me almost a week to write #be proud #I have put more work and study into this than pretty much anything else for transformers #enjoy my ravings #forgive any spelling errors I do not have a checker on here

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