personally i think the best way to look at this election in terms of "who am i (as a viewer) going to vote for" is that first and foremost, for us, this is a STORY. we are watching a story (and also a fun game and funny people doing funnies together, but for election purposes we'll say that)
therefore our goal should not be "which candidate has the best policies" or "which candidate is best for the island". we don't CARE. that's not our business.
we don't care what's good for the islanders. THAT'S NOT OUR BUSINESS. we're not islanders nor are we players. we are the guy in the bar watching the Truman show. our business is "what story do we want to see?"
each candidate offers something different.
(note: i don't claim to understand their platforms, for personal reasons i haven't followed it closely bc i kinda suspected there was gonna be drama and didn't feel like stressing myself over minecraft politics; my local elections freak me out enough lol)
for a rough example:
elquackity: obvious federation plant, clear enemy for the rest of the server. man-vs-government arc.
forever: did you like cellbit's infiltration arc? i could predict something like that following in forever's footsteps (forever sneaks around the federation, learns a few secrets, continues to make his changes to the server but does perhaps experience horrors, most likely a slower burn than cellbit's arc but certainly a lot of espionage and theorycrafting)
gegg: gegg chamg e world
those of y'all with a sounder grasp on candidates, sound off in the notes on what we can expect FROM A STORY PERSPECTIVE; i actively ignore the debates (they make me want to cry lmfao). i don't care what their platform is exactly, where will it take the story?
and i'll repossess your liver if i see any goddamn cc hate or harassment in there. this is more than not a safe space for that, this is an active danger zone. watch yourselves. <3
Bro...imma be honest bro. Like to be honest bro, I'm fucking tired bruh. I'm tired of yo ass bruh. I'm tired of all these goofy wannabe unoriginal view hungry cringe radiating Youtube Shorts creating egotistically falsely empowered muscle shirt wearing Lamborghini driving food wasting fake prank creating Tiktok migrating musty weird little Neanderthal troglodyte. Bro like deadass...deadass I want you to look at your entire life right now Topper Guild. Tell me the last time you actually had an original idea in your brain my boy. Your entire existence is like a godddamn Naruto filler episode my boy. Cmon boy your name is Topper. Your mother is a notorious child dropper. You like a wannabe Mr Beast content mocker. Your videos are as repetitive as the commercial 🎵WHOPPER WHOPPER TRIPLE WHOPPER🎵. Shut yo ass up don't talk boy. Boy if you don't get yo watch me whip watch me nae nae I got you running like Tay-K. Your grandma gave Bling Bling Boy a lap dance for a payday. Wait actually hold up a second. 👵🤛🤛🤛🤛🤛 GIVE ME THE MONEY GRANDMA 👵🤛🤛🤛🤛🤛 aHhH! pLeAsE StOp iT! pLeAsE 👵🤛🤛🤛🤛🤛 CMON TOPPER'S GRANDMA GIVE ME THE MONEY. That's what I thought bruh. I just robbed your grandma. I just hit a lick on your grandma and have fully confiscated the entire financial come up she received from exploiting herself to Bling Bling Boy. What you finna do about it. Do something. That's what I thought yo nothing.
I think the ask feature should be removed. Permanently