#trolley problem index

[trolley-problems-r-us]

[howtofightwrite]

One of my characters is forced to kill one of their childhood friends to save a bunch of people and I'm wondering how quick (or painful) can you make their death with just a knife? Thanks for your input!

I'm not sure exactly how fast a bleedout from a severed femoral or carotid artery is. In the former, we're talking less than a minute, in the latter, death occurs within seconds. Being able to reliably open the artery you want does require a bit of anatomical knowledge, so getting the most value out of a knife isn't something that any character would automatically be able to do.

As for how much it hurts, I dunno. Neither one is particularly high on my bucket list, so I'm content on leaving that as a question mark.

From personal, subjective, experience, the condition of the blade has a bigger impact on how much it hurts. A clean, and sharp blade, fresh from the factory (or carefully sharpened and honed) will hurt less than a poorly maintained blade. In the latter case (or, with cat claws, as I was recently reminded), you can feel the foreign object catching and ripping your skin. It's an unpleasant sensation, and, far more painful than a clean blade.

In fact, my most painful laceration experience came from a hose attachment that came apart while I was using it, and ended up getting jabbed into my thumb. As a safety measure, if you find yourself in a situation like this, turn off the water beforetrying to repair the attachment.

In contrast, the scar on my right index finger was almost painless. It was a brand new knife, which I fumbled. (Specifically it's double bladed, and the handle is a little too short for my hand. I accidentally knicked my left hand on the base of the fore-blade, and instinctively, flicked it away, gashing my off-hand.) At the time, I didn't even feel the cut, and then saw what I thought was a small welt... before it started bleeding. There is some truth to the cliché about not feeling a cut when it occurs, but the blade needs to be in immaculate condition for this to occur.

How painful can you make it, intentionally? This is not going anywhere pleasant, but I'm not sure there's a limit. That's not sarcasm. There is a point where too much pain can cause someone to slip into shock and die, but, for someone with sufficient sadism, there isn't really a limit. The problem is that a knife in an experienced and knowledgeable hand can do horrific things to someone without killing them. If the point was to inflict pain and suffering, that could be drawn out for day. Probably weeks.

As for the scenario, I have reservations. I'm reading a lot into the way you phrased the setup, but there is something very artificial and, more than a little cliché, about the villain strong arming a protagonist into violating their morals. Particularly on ticking bomb scenarios.

In a lot of cases, neither side really gets anything of value out of the interaction. The villain gets a tiny bit of room to wag a finger and say, “we're not so different now,” but, really, they would have done that anyway. And the hero gets to have a chunk of their credibility chipped away, for no real benefit. In this case, I specifically mean their credibility with the audience.

The reason I say that is because this is a downright inhuman thing for someone to do. Kill someone who you presumably care about, or save the lives of five thousand randos. One of these things is an abstract concept, and the other is a person.

Now, the problem is, for you, both are abstract concepts. Your hero's childhood friend is not a real person to you. They are, at best, a simulacrum, but one you know is fake. Similarly, the mass casualty event is something you also know is fake. Even more so because you have already chosen the outcome. This means that, for you, this is a simple trolley problem. However, the evaluation would be radically different for your character. In situations like that, it is possible they'd elect to kill their friend on the basis of there being fewer casualties, but that kind of cold calculus is borderline monstrous.

This doesn't mean that you can't create a compelling scenario where a character ultimately needs to put down their friend. But, it is a deceptively difficult scenario to credibly engineer, and even then, can frequently result in massive plot holes. So, it can be done, but proceed carefully.

-Starke

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[unreesonable]

Index o'fics

Thought it might be an idea to make a pinned post indexing my IN9 fics? (ETA: now with added TLOG!) To be updated as and when.

Bernie Clifton's Dressing Room The Last Laugh Punchline Nothing Gold Can Stay

Cold Comfort These people are not your friends But you're stuck in a hole... (podfic of a work by @dangerliesbeforeyou) Diddle Diddle Dumpling Two halves, and one of them's gone

Merrily Merrily CLINICAL PRESENTATION OF HYPOTHERMIA IN COLD WATER IMMERSION Tom and Gerri There but for the grace of God The Last Weekend True Love - fanvid

The Riddle of the Sphinx One Down Light and Sacred Draughts (for @kookaburrito) The Trolley Problem The Dissolution of Drew Dawson (a series based on an AU concept by @silverview) Dead End - fanvid

The League of Gentlemen Their Daughter Still - The tragedy of Julie Hull

[birdinhere]

HIIIIII i made a silly rdr2 au :D ok so.

Arthur never gets tuberculosis. He can’t, he’s too busy for trivial things like Strauss’s money troubles. Strauss tells him if he doesn’t collect on the debts, the gang won’t have money. But that’s no problem for Arthur, because he goes out everyday looking for ways to make money. He finds several, but the easiest one is stealing horses to sell. He finds most folks keep their horses papers in their saddle bags, but if not, it turns out Hosea is quite good at forging them. (Later on they get even better with Kieran’s help.) As long as he’s quick about it, he never gets caught either, and soon he gets an eye for which horses fetch more money. Pretty soon he’s a full on horse connoisseur, but no one really cares. It’s just a silly thing Arthur does in his free time.

As time passes things go as they do in game, including the trolley crash and Dutch getting his head injury, and most importantly, Hosea’s death. Now at this point, Arthur knows loss. He was devastated when Kieran died, as they had grown close over their mutual love for horses, but Hosea’s death is so much harder on him, and he doesn’t understand why until they return from Guarma. It’s so hard because Dutch doesn’t care. It’s as if it didn’t even happen to him. And this is where things start to fall apart, and they fall apart fast. Arthur grieves *hard* for Hosea. Hosea was his father, his mentor, and Dutch can’t even spare a passing glance? Can’t even visit his grave? And so things fall into place for Arthur very quickly. If Dutch doesn’t care about Hosea dying, would he care if Arthur died? He tested it once, stayed out of camp for so long he almost forgot what it looked like when eventually Charles found him. He was so excited, because Dutch had sent someone for him, Dutch did care, but no, as Charles would clarify, Dutch did not send him. He came on his own, because he missed Arthur. Dutch hadn’t even noticed he was gone. That was Arthur’s final straw. There, in camp at that final showdown between Arthur and Dutch, guns drawn, Arthur pulled the trigger. But he couldn’t kill Dutch. No matter how insane the old man had gotten, he was still his father. So he did the only thing he could, and shot the gun clean out of Dutch’s hand. It wounded him of course, a bullet is going to rip in a straight line no matter what you want it to do, so it tore through Dutches Middle and index finger, up through his arm and out his shoulder, permanently altering the usability of that arm forever, but it worked. Ditches gun was gone and away from him, his second pistol yards away in his tent. But Arthur was not the only one to fire. No, Dutch did too, and he was not nearly as generous. But he was also not nearly as good a shot. He aimed for Arthur’s head. But the bullet skewed to the left, and instead of splattering his brains out, it ripped through the side of his face, barely missing bone. It hurt, *bad*, but even still Arthur survived. As Dutch reeled over his hand, Arthur ran. He wasn’t held back by his sickness, no, this was a healthy man who needed to run for his life. And he did. He ran until his legs gave out, ran until he couldn’t tell where he was anymore, ran until he saw John’s horse trotting up to him, and collapsed in Johns arms. John was never the strongest, but he lifted Arthur onto his horse and ran like hell to get help.

The doctors called it a miracle. How is he alive? They asked. What happened? They questioned. John could only respond “I don’t know.” To both of those questions. Slowly, Arthur recovered. Eating and drinking was never easy for him and it never would be, but he was alive. And he was lucky. The first thing he did after he healed was thank John. He thanked him by paying his bounty, no small feat, the large sum taking up most of his savings. But John was a free man. He urged John to go to black water to collect their pile of missing cash, something no other gang member was able to do. He did, and urged Arthur to use the money to pay off his own bounty, but he refused. First they found Abigail and Jack. Jack had no bounty, he was just a boy, but Abigail did, a hefty $500 Arthur paid off dutifully. Then he found Mary-Beth, Karen, and Tilly, and paid off their bounties as well. They were appreciative, but he stressed that they were not indebted to him. He did this so they could live their lives free, not chained up with him. But this marked the end of the black water money. There was only a few dollars left, some twenty odd bucks that wouldn’t pay anyone’s bounty, let alone the now $7k on Arthur’s head. But he wasn’t stressed. He could always go back to stealing and selling horses. Until he made a simple, enriching discovery. His beloved white Arabian was pregnant. Her baby, even mixed with whatever sorry stallions genes made up the other half of the baby could net them a good few hundred. But when the baby arrived, a bouncing baby boy, their was no denying who the father was. The Duke. And the baby fetched them just over a thousand dollars.

This was invigorating, and painful at the same time, knowing this pairing could never be replicated. Dutch was still alive out there, with The Duke, and there was no chance he could just ask for another pairing. So the two of them, Arthur and John, made a gamble. They bought another Arabian with their fetchings from the previous colt, a beautiful rose gold stallion. The horses paired well, and the baby paid even better, and they knew their gamble was going to be a good one. After awhile, they bought another mare, John too impatient to wait through every pregnancy to see their payout. They set aside a large majority of their cash for Arthur’s bounty, but they took a little off the top for themselves, John buying Abigail a ranch and whatever else her and their son desired. Arthur, of course, put his money into his horses, as they all quickly became his pride and joy. Soon, he could pay off his bounty, and he became a free man once more. But Dutch is still out there, holed up with Micah in that desolate frozen wasteland. And surely Mary is out there too, waiting for the day Arthur cleaned himself up and stopped his life of crime. Well the day has finally come, but perhaps revenge is a dish best served cold.

OKAY TEEHEE HOPED YOU LIKED IT 😋👍 I know there are some plot holes but just. Swerve around them. Okay 👌 teehee anyway here’s some art I did of Good Ending Arthur I’ll do one of Dutch and his hand too ok bye bye!!!

[deacon-chun]

"see, you see it as adorable. I see it as doing my civic duty." he replied with a boisterous laugh before popping another chip into his mouth. "if I hadn't let her pick out some part of my outfit, half the town would be torn down by the epic tantrums of a four year old. so, really, I'm just doing my part to keep the city safe." deacon' eyes darted over to said raspberries, eyebrows shooting up when they were in his view. "didn't even see those, but now? now I'm questioning everything."

the man put his free hand up, his tone still playing in a teasing air. "see, but it's buffalo chicken wing dip." he clarified, index finger pointing towards said bowl. "a bit more complicated because I have to have room for the dip and the vehicle that delivers it to my mouth: the chip." each word said like deacon was explaining the world's most complicated trolley problem. "that's where this whole thing goes into 'do you take on more than just your dream?'"

"I wasn't coming over here for either of those things, but letting your daughter help choose your outfit is adorable. What I was coming over here for was for some of these chocolate raspberries. I might have to steal the whole bowl myself."

"No, I wouldn't. Isn't prom supposed to be a night people dream of? If your dream is to eat that whole bowl of buffalo chicken wings, I can do nothing but encourage you."

@deacon-chun

[thrandilf]

the fact that there seem to be a Number of ppl within the tdp fandom who are adults who cannot understand why Dark Magic is considered bad is so baffling to me like

like could you repeat that that for me

"I don't get why Dark Magic is bad?"

granted it's a sliding scale of bad. or is it? maybe sometimes it's a lesser evil, maybe sometimes it doesn't feel like an evil at all depending on the situation. killing a bug to save a dragon. killing one "monster" to save 100,000 people. sounds legit right? or what about crushing a snail for using its magic for your cosmetics. or what about deciding to kill a baby dragon purely for its power. how do we weigh life, or is it something that can/should be weighed? those are questions the show generates

like it's got wildly different applications depending on what mage is doing what but not seeing why other people would take issue with killing/using pieces of creatures for your own power up to and including elves and dragons is.

bro.

it's literal blood magic. maybe it's kind of analogous to eating meat but it's also about unsustainability its about killing yourself while you kill other things it's about poaching its about theft its about asking when do you suddenly start valuing life its about extremes its about trolley problems its about greed its about a lot of things and the show has just about every viewpoint you can get on it. tdp started off as an index card labeled Dark Magic its central to the story its as central as you can get

but it just screams contrariness/bad faith arguments to pretend you legitimately don't get why, even if its been used for some good things, it's frowned upon in universe. like how.

[ceph-the-ghost-writer]

A Question a Day Index

Questions covering a wide range of info on characters from both the Dysthanasia and Beyond & Between series. Characters are split into the following groups:

Group A: Isaac, Renato, Dorian, Kinslayer, Vess, Ankaris, and Fior

Group B: Ollie, Micaela, Elfy, Ben, Tilda, Yi, and Mergus

Group C: TBD

What color are their eyes? A | B | C

Are they good liars? A | B | C

Do they believe in ghosts? A | B | C

What emotions do they have trouble dealing with? A | B | C

What makes them cry? A | B | C

Are they quick to violence? A | B | C

What are some habits they have that will take some getting used to? A | B | C

What is their family like? A | B | C

When scared do they go into “flight” or “fight”? A | B | C

Do they fall asleep easily? A | B | C

What's their comfort breakfast? A | B | C

When is their birthday? A | B | C

Do they still have any objects from their childhood? A | B | C

Make a bouquet for them! What do the flowers mean? A | B | C

What's your OC's greatest wish? A | B | C

How bad is their temper? A | B | C

Do they enjoy being in nature? A | B | C

Has anyone confessed to having a crush on them? A | B | C

What's their most vivid memory from childhood? A | B | C

What's the inspiration behind your OC? A | B | C

Can they play sports? A | B | C

How loud are they? A | B | C

What will lure them into danger? A | B | C

Do they act differently with different people? A | B | C

What's the last straw for them before they cut someone out of their life? A | B | C

What types of gifts would they like to receive? A | B | C

What are their thoughts on children? A | B | C

What do they want to be remembered as? A | B | C

How were they at school? A | B | C

What's the biggest change you've made to them? A | B | C

What's their go-to outfit? A | B | C

A random fact. A | B | C

What turns them on? A | B | C

What's their answer to the trolley problem? A | B | C

Random angst headcanon. A | B | C

What other worlds/AU would they fit into? A | B | C

What do they look for in a relationship? A | B | C

If they could make one wish what would it be? A | B | C

If they have a crush is it noticable? A | B | C

A soft headcanon. A | B | C

[shintorikhazumi]

“Dance For Me.”

A/N: Here’s your pole-dancing AU you bunch of thirsty… people on discord. Idk, I’m bad at… trashtalk if it’s not for self-defense. I also don’t cuss unless it’s in fics. Because I’m technically not cussing, the characters are *wink wink*.

Batting second after Lary! Khazumi~ Coming in! Unless someone already finished before I did and I didn’t notice, haha.

I’m not one to write NSFW. At least not for public… consumption. Borderline, yes. But like… I suck at NSFW, not gonna lie. I’ll try my very best?

I'm also sorry that I can't write pole dancing very well. Hope you can... picture out what's going on. haha.

Weirdest thing I searched for confirmation while writing this was ‘during intercourse are your pupils constricted or dilated’ Because my mind is so lost rn hahha.

My timeline here is before Christmas. I’m sorry. I need it.

Basically, I'm sorry for this trashy fic.

ayt.

Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi 

This… is not quite what Diana expected when she left Akko this morning for work at the estate.

The past few months, Akko had been busy with teaching her classes at Luna Nova, on top of performing her scheduled weekend shows in town that the woman just wouldn’t give up the chance to do. Always for the smiles, always for the people’s happiness.

And Diana loves her for that, she really does. Dear Beatrix, she loves her wife- of three years now- to death.

But while she had been excitedly looking forward to the holidays, winter rolling around, expecting that she’d finally have her wife-mind you- all to herself, said wife had other plans, it seems.

Akko had agreed to be booked almost daily this season, and despite being home in Diana’s arms each night, she had absolutely zero energy to do anything but snuggle up to the former heiress and fall asleep in the blink of an eye.

Diana had pouted for days on end, telling Akko to give her one day, to spend just one day with her.

Akko, despite all her regrets of leaving her wife like this, couldn’t just cancel. But she had promised to dedicate the two days before the twenty-fifth, right up ‘til the end of vacation to her lovely spouse.

And Diana has to reluctantly agree. She knows in her heart that this is Akko’s passion, it’s what makes her the amazing woman known for her beautiful believing heart.

Diana just needs patience. So much patience.

But then, on the day of Christmas Eve, she gets a call from the manor. It’s related to the estate. About a sudden accident with one of her people. She couldn’t not go. At least she’d try to finish up early so she could offer her remaining time to-

Akko’s phone rings.

It’s a special request. A little girl’s birthday. And she just had to see the amazing Kagari (-Cavendish) Atsuko perform her special magic. Now this wouldn’t have been that much of a problem had the party been in the morning or early afternoon, however it appeared as though it would take place around five pm. Diana knows it will run overtime. It always does. Everyone loves to bask in the presence and utter warmth of ‘Atsuko’ after all.

So, Begrudgingly, they both prepare for their respective agendas, Diana feeling absolutely depressed over the fact that she would be coming home for Christmas eve to an empty house, cold halls, devoid of the calming scent and lovely voice of her wife singing her favorite Shiny Chariot showtune from the kitchen as she cooked all of Diana’s favorites.

Akko notices. She always does.

She walks up to the sulking blonde, cupping her face in her hands, chuckling at those pouty lips, those teary eyes. “I’m really sorry, my Diana.” She whispers. “Really, I am.”

Diana sighs in defeat, pulling her wife into one last bearhug before work.

“Can I at least have my own Magical Atsuko show?” She uncharacteristically turns her puppy eyes to her wife, only ever showing Akko this spoiled child within.

“I’ll only give you the very best.”

“With a little song?”

“Whatever you’d like

“Mm…” Diana nodded, looking down at her feet before raising her head, one last question on her mind. “Dance for me?”

“Sure, sweetheart.” Akko laughed, nuzzling her nose on Diana’s. “But for now,” She pinches the taller witch’s nose playfully before planting a kiss. “This is for the kids.”

…

This is DEFINITELY NOT “for the kids”. For any kids. For anyone for that matter. Diana would never show this to anyone. Over her dead. Lifeless. Fucking. Body.

Nonononono. Diana shakes her head a thousand times internally.

No.

Just no.

Diana gasps as she drops her suitcase on the floor, the contents spilling out at the impact. She had not expected this of all things. She imagined coming home to an empty house, no Akko, and miserable reheated food.

She hadn’t expected unlocking her door to the smells of a rotisserie chicken, some wine, and Akko’s homely scent.

She wasn’t expecting the low thrum of music in the background. She didn’t think that her wife would stand in front of her, in her usual show outfit- no. Wait. This isn’t her show outfit.

Like hell she’d wear that to a children’s party!!

No, this. THIS… This is a knock-off Shiny Chariot costume that is far too skimpy to be sold to the young and pure fans of Chariot. This is one of those costumes you’d see them sell adults for dumb pranks on Halloween, or see it at those kinds of shops.

How did Akko even get that?

Online?

The internet is truly fearsome. Shameless. So Shameless.

And so is Diana as she gawks at her pretty wife, donning a very short white skirt, a top that very much exposes her midriff- technically, only holding together those perky mounds-, a cape that is probably the only thing covering her wife that can be counted as decent, thigh-high- gosh- those thigh-high boots, hair free of that small side pony-tail; and that signature white witch hat tops off the ensemble.

“Welcome home~” Akko greets with her usual cheer, expression innocent and beaming, before it shifts a sultry color, tone dropping into a hushed invitation. “Diana.”

Said woman is quiet, she struggles to form a response.

Akko.

‘Let’s try saying your wife’s name now, Diana Cavendish.’

“A-A-A-A… aaahhhh…”

Oh, Great Beatrix, give me strength.

A lot of it. A trolley’s worth, if you must.

…-and stamina. Please. Strength and stamina to endure.

And Clearly Diana isn’t wishing to hold her ground against temptation.

She might just have a long night ahead.

“Diana.”

“Y-yes! I’m l-listening. Very clearly… most…. Definitely…” She says whilst staring at the gracious amounts of cleavage-

“Of course you are, babe.” Akko chuckles in that sickeningly sweet tone, taking a step forward as Diana takes one back. “Where are you going?” She takes another, as does Diana in the opposite direction, her back meeting the hard wood of their front door.

“N-nowhere, I’m… I’m Home.” Diana feels her hands become clammy, shaking, as she wonders where to put them.

“Heh~… I thought you were running away or something.” Akko smiles kindly, actions not as kind. She traps Diana with her body, arms on either side of her head. “And I wouldn’t like that. Would you?” Her eyes flutter innocently, lashes long, eyes wide.

There was clearly only one correct answer.

“N-no.”

“Good.” Akko laughs like gentle chimes, pleasant to the ear.

Diana smiles, feeling a little more relaxed.

-Before one hand comes off the wall and now climbs up her torso, Akko’s index and middle fingers walking up to Diana’s tie before her hand takes it, pulling it out of the vest.

“I always liked it when you wore ties.” She murmured, eyes blank and scrutinizing the tie. Before Diana could respond, Akko was already resting her head on Diana’s chest, hand absent-mindedly twirling the thin red tie. “I also like that you wear my colors on you.” Akko raised her head, pulling on Diana’s tie so that their faces came so incredibly close to one another, lips a hair’s breadth apart. “Tells people that you're mine.”

That effectively steals the air out of Diana’s lungs as Akko steps back, still holding fast to the tie, pulling Diana along, as if on a leash. Her Japanese wife leads her to the living room and sits her down on their amazingly comfortable couch.

But not even that could ease Diana’s tense nerves.

“H-Hi.”

“Hi, Diana.” Akko greets back, leaning over her wife, a finger gliding from the base of Diana’s throat to her jaw, tipping it up to guide blue eyes up to meet the most intoxicating wine. “What was your last little request for me this morning, again?”

“I- I… uh… um…”

“Yes?” The brunette lowers her body onto Diana’s head tucked between the poor heiress’ shoulder and neck, peppering kisses along her jaw. “Please remember, darling. I really want to do it for you, you know?” She chuckles, biting on a certain spot near Diana’s throat making her yelp, then licking the area to ease the pain. “I prepared really well for it. I tried so hard for you.”

Definitely not the only thing that was hard, Diana thinks.

An uncontrolled whine tears its way out of the blonde’s mouth, mind desperately trying to remember what the hell she last asked.

Then it clicks.

“D-dance…”

“Hmm?”

“Dance for me…?”

Akko seems elated with her answer, nuzzling her neck once before pulling away, Diana missing her warmth… or heat. Or both.

“With pleasure.”

Diana is sure there will be a lot of pleasure involved.

With a flick of her wand (where had Akko hidden that?), a pole rises from the floor in the open space of the room. Akko stalks hypnotizingly towards it, grasping the hard metal with one hand before smoothly pulling herself into her first twirl.

‘Oh Great Nine. This is one of those dances, isn’t it?’

Diana swallows so painfully, finding her throat constricted, the opposite to her dilating pupils as she watches her wife with the focus of a predator waiting on its prey.

Off goes the cape, and Diana only now realizes just how little of her wife’s ass is actually covered by that skirt.

She loves Akko’s ass- She loves Akko. Period.

-along with her thighs and bottom.

She admires her better half’s toned body, muscles flexing and simply wonderful as Akko spins herself around the pole gracefully, hanging onto it with only one hand. The elegance of the movements allows Diana to forget her barely restrained arousal, leaving her in awe for a few moments.

Then a toned leg wraps itself around the pole, Akko rolling her body up against it, turning her gaze to Diana, eyes half-lidded and so sinful. All that talk about grace- screw it, right now.

Another twirl, and another, and another.

Akko climbs her way up the pole so sensually, Diana wishes she were the one being climbed like that. Then Akko stops near the top, almost as though she was frozen. Diana waits with bated breath, before Akko’s hands suddenly release the pole, falling backwards; and Diana panics, thinking something happened and her wife was about to hit the ground hard- but only the hat does so. Akko’s body hangs smoothly in the air, legs squeezing tight, flexing those amazing thighs.

Oh, to be between them instead.

The spinning restarts. Repeats over and over, legs stretching out, then pulling in. At times, an arm would reach out, almost as if it were inviting the audience in, to come closer; to come touch this performer. Then Akko lowers herself to the ground, movements sophisticated, nimble, body poised, and oh so sensual. It’s an interpretative dance, and there must be story behind it.

Diana just doesn’t have enough brain power to process it.

She gasps as her wife stands up; the skirt is forgone, leaving Akko in racy black panties that matches her top that might as well not exist. And again, she’s on that pole, embracing it, caressing it with one hand, down to her body, allowing her palm to slide down her chest to a taut stomach, abs glistening in sweat, before reaching down her legs, and between her thighs, then out, back to latching onto the pole.

The loss of garment shouldn’t distract her. She’s sure this action was to give her wife better grip on the pole. Definitely the reason. Yes. Not because this was… was a… that.

Of course.

Breaking the unspoken rule of silence, a voice suddenly begs for her attention.

“Diana…”

…

Fuck.

“Nnmm!”

Diana throws her head back for a second, needing to relieve her burdened senses at the sight that had just greeted her mere moments ago.

Akko had basically rubbed herself against the pole, her most intimate place surely touching it as she slid up then down, dropping into an air-split, barely hovering over the ground, still twirling, yet painfully slow this time, basically presenting herself to the very red mess breathing heavily on the couch.

Diana’s not sure she can stay seated anymore. She’s been holding back. She’s certain she can’t keep holding back.

“But why are you holding back?”

The question throws her for a loop, eyes so wide, as she stares at Akko’s tantalizing figure, draped over her pole, breathing as difficultly as Diana is.

She releases her show equipment, leaving the pole to disappear as she strides forward provocatively, halting in front of Diana, placing her hands down on the blonde’s open lap, freeing them from their squeezed-together position just moments ago. They massage at Diana’s thighs, and the heiress moans, unsuppressed.

Her dancer takes a seat on her lap, hands busying themselves with loosening Diana’s tie a bit more, removing it from her before Akko slings it around her own neck.

“You are so mean, Diana… even after I called for you so many times…” Akko whispers against her lips, eyes fiery and slightly angered. Diana’s hands are guided to rest on Akko’s hips as she grinds against her wife needily. “Utterly horrible.”

It should be the winter season as it was Christmas. Diana knows that the outside world was harshly cold and chilly, but that temperature did not seem to apply to her. Most definitely not within Diana, and most definitely not between her leee-heeeeg- ‘damn you, Akko’.

“Why would you not come for me?”

‘Which ‘come’ might we be discussing here’, Diana wonders.

“I… I didn’t know… my apologies.” Diana stutters out, distracted by the hand touching the inside of her thigh.

“Even when I made it so obvious?” Akko pouts, biting Diana’s shoulder angrily as her hands make quick work of the taller witch’s buttoned shirt. Those same hands splay against her collarbone and shoulders, caressing and teasing, moving to the back of her head to massage her scalp. The Head of Cavendish gets pulled into a long kiss, her significant other’s tongue pleading entrance as it licks along Diana’s full lips, thighs squeezing Diana’s legs.

Diana permits, giving the appendage access to explore her mouth completely, sometimes brushing against her gums, and gliding along her teeth, entangling with her own tongue. Akko pulls away with a rough nip on Diana’s lower lip.

The latter’s hand is held captive, guided somewhere along her lover’s body.

The heiress fails at hindering any sounds from escaping her as she feels hot liquid drip onto her fingers, before pooling into her open palm. So that’s where Akko had brought it.

“Diana.”

Her eyes are bewitching. Fitting of her occupation. They hold Diana’s gaze a prisoner, not against her will. They compel her to do something. Akko rubs against her once more, and Diana whimpers aloud.

“Diana.”

Arms tighten their loop against Diana’s neck. Akko’s voice still sounds calm and controlled, but her actions tell Diana that she is anything but. She’s basically riding her at this point.

“Diana.”

“Y-yesh?!” Hooded, dark, tempting. Akko’s eyes were all those things. And maybe Diana’s were too.

“Diana.”

“Yes…?” Diana feels a switch flip as her finger slips into that wet, heated space and makes Akko cry a lovely tone. She goes deaf to the world, all her focus on the woman shivering delightfully in her arms.

  “Diana…”

  “Yes…”

  “Dance with me.”

A/N: So… sequel?

~Shintori Khazumi

[isegmenti]

... So she was underestimating him.

Il Bambino was used to it, thankfully, but there was a slight twitch in his eye, an irritation from it. Really now, was she so dense to not see the resemblance, or was she even more dense and assuming that he could be reasoned with?

How obtuse. How naive.

How... childish.

Il Bambino stared at her with a blank expression, not giving away anything else. It wasn't the first time someone tried to 'get through to him', and it would be far from the last. It was almost laughable--but at least this time, it was a child who probably believed in super heros and miracles.

"The collective moral understanding is that harming one another is a societal taboo, yes," he finally answered after a moment. "However, that ideology only exists as an ideal for a reason. Some people must come to harm for the betterment of society, no?"

He pressed an index finger to the corner of his lips, trying to act curious and innocent. Well, if she was going to see him as a child to be reasoned with, it was better to go along with it. Who knows what kinds of things he could get her to agree to, if only she believed he could have a 'change of heart'.

Ha. As if he was even built with a heart.

"Have you ever heard of an ethical thought experiment called 'The Trolley Problem'?" He asked, though he didn't let her answer as he continued, "It is a problem depicting a situation where there are multiple people tied to the tracks of a rail road, and a train is heading right for them. There is only one way to save them, is to switch the tracks so the train is diverted. The problem lies in that there is single person on the other track, also tied up."

He gestured to her, tilting his head.

"If you were presented with this situation, the most logical answer would be to flip the switch and kill the one person, rather than let the many other people die, correct? Yet it still requires harm to be done to an individual--for their life to be lost. To this... what says you? Do you truly believe that it is always 'wrong' to harm someone? In that case, you wouldn't be able to flip the switch--but your inaction will kill so many more people in the process. Tell me, then--which one is more cruel to you? To kill one person yourself, or to kill several people as a bystander?"

“I don’t understand your logic here.” The kid @ Nene

Nene swallowed dryly. The kid had the same earring that the Doctor wore, and so much about him reminded her of how that man would look in his youth. Something about his gaze felt off, too, and it unnerved her.

That wasn't fair to him, however. Regardless, he was still a child, Nene told herself. Children, innocent and still malleable to life, weren't inherently evil, even if they stood on the outside of a cage, peering in like it was some sort of zoo exhibit instead.

She curled her fingers around the bars, holding out a hand in supplication. Though she tried to smile kindly, her mouth had forgotten how, to clumsy result.

"Hurting people is bad. You don't like being hurt either, right? It's the same for us, too." She retracted her hand, flattening it over her heart. "And being here... The others are always getting hurt. They'll die like this."

Her jaw tightened. It wasn't fair that they had to go through horrible tests and experiments, especially to keep her safe. But if she could convince this child to see her view--and persuading a child was the most likely option they had--then it would help everyone.

@isegmenti / @starlitwishes

[trolley-problems-r-us]

[hphmmatthewluther]

HPHM April Prompts 2021: Day 1: The Weasleys and Pranking!

Here we go, Day 1 of @stupendousbookworm ‘s #aprilprompts2021 ! Today, April Fools Day, it’s time for the twins!

Prompt #1: Write a paragraph or illustrate an incident in MC's sixth year, when they went pranking with the Weasley twins, just to be caught by Filch and Mrs. Norris. How does MC escape?

Fred and George weren’t exactly fans of prefects. They always seemed to show up at the worst possible moment, and most of them couldn’t take a joke to save their life. But not all of them. Because two of the sixth-year prefects, Matthew Luther and Merula Snyde, had shown themselves willing to partake in a little bit of mischief. And one of them was their brother.

“So that’s why we’re doing this in the Artefact Room.” Fred explained, pushing a trolley of crockery through the room’s door. George side-stepped around his brother and pulled a trolley with an equal amount of teacups and saucers on it out of a corner.

“I only wish we could see this come to fruition.” George lamented, “Alas, all classes must be attended on time.” They looked at each other before bursting into laughter.

“Right,” said Fred, pushing his trolley into the space where George’s had been. “Let’s get this back where we didn’t find it.”

They tried to get it out of the door, but it got stuck. Fred pulled on it while George pushed, but it simply wouldn’t move.

“Wiggle it!”

“I am wiggling it!”

“Ssh, what if someone-”

“Wingardium Leviosa!”

There was a small noise, like a whistle, and then the trolley began to float, allowing the two to push it through the doorway and bring it back to the ground.

“Great thinking, mate!” said both brothers at the same time. They looked confused for a moment, but then George noticed who was standing a few feet away. There, with an empty food bag in one hand and his wand in the other, was none other than Matthew Luther, Ravenclaw Prefect.

“Oh.” the Weasleys said.

“ ‘Oh’ indeed.” Matthew chuckled. He walked towards the trolley and poked one of the teacups with his wand. A sharp-toothed grin appeared on the porcelain as it nipped at the air around it.

“Well I never...I wonder if Trelawney’s seen it coming?” he asked. Fred and George stared at their shoes. “Knowing her, probably not.” Matthew admitted.

“It wasn’t for Trelawney!” George blurted out. Matthew looked away from the trolley and at the twins.

“Y-Yeah, it wasn’t, we swear!” Fred said, nodding rapidly. “It was for...”

Matthew’s head whirred as he came up with several suspects. Then the answer became very clear indeed. “For the Prefects?” he asked, a smile on his face.

There was a silence. Then, the twins nodded. Matthew looked at them for a moment, then promptly burst into laughter. The twins eyed each other nervously.

“Well, I have to say I’m impressed!” Matthew laughed, to the twins’ surprise, “I’m not sure how two first-years managed to get their hands on so many Nose-Biting Teacups.”

“W-We don’t actually have that many.” George confessed. “Most of them are just enchanted to wobble a little. That’s why we couldn’t get Trelawney...we only have a few.”

“Aw, really?” said Matthew, sounding a little disappointed, “It’s a shame you’re not willing to go the whole hog...I might actually have to dock you points for this one.”

“Oh, well if that’s all…” said Fred, slightly relieved.

“And, of course, I’ll have to write to your mother...she told me to keep an eye on you, after all...” At this, the colour drained from both the Weasleys’ faces.

“Please, Matthew, anything but that!” exclaimed George.

“We’ll do anything! We’ll clean the Magical Creatures Reserve for a week! We’ll actually do our homework for once!” pleaded Fred.

“Don’t worry about it.” Matthew reassured them, “I just think that your prank really could be great. In fact...” Matthew leaned over and whispered, “I’d quite like to help you with it.”

A few minutes later, the twins still couldn’t believe their luck as Matthew led them down a corridor.

“Wouldn’t it be great if all the prefects were like this?” Fred whispered as they walked along.

“Yeah,” replied George, “It’s nice to get some constructive criticism for once.”

Suddenly Matthew came to a halt. “I’ve just remembered something.”

The twins watched as Matthew pulled a piece of parchment out of his pocket, both noticing he had placed an Undetectable Extension Charm on his clothing. He took the parchment in one hand and tapped it with his wand using the other. Then he said:

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." There was nothing. Then, from his wand, ink began to cover the parchment until it had reached every  corner of the page.

"This," Matthew explained, "Is the Marauder's Map." He unfolded it, and Fred and George were amazed to see there was a moving map of Hogwarts within it. Matthew looked over the parchment until his eyes focused on a single name: Argus Filch.

"Yes, he's on the other side of the school!" Fred exclaimed. "Wish we had something like that."

They soon came to a halt near the statue of a one-eyed witch. Matthew smiled before taking out the map, tapping it again and saying "Mischief Managed! ". At this, the ink disappeared, and the parchment was blank again. Matthew looked at the witch for a few seconds, then turned to the twins. "You'll want to remember this. Dissendium!" The witch's hump rumbled, until it moved completely away, revealing a passage. Matthew smirked as he climbed inside. "Come on. Next stop, Hogsmeade." Fred and George hurried after him, both memorising the word "Dissendium" under their breaths.

"You know, I'm glad you first-years get Friday afternoons off, it makes stuff like this way easier." Matthew reflected as they headed down the thin passage, "Use them while they're there, you two. It'll be four long years before you get them again."

Fred and George nodded at that. "Don't worry Matthew, we'll make sure every Friday afternoon is one to remember!"

Matthew laughed, "I hope so. I could do with a laugh every week."

A few minutes later, they came to a trapdoor. Matthew put his finger on his mouth and slowly climbed up and out, gesturing them up moments later. They climbed up to see a dimly lit room with shelves stacked with boxes of sweets.

" Is this-" began Fred,

" Honeydukes?" George finished, as flabbergasted as his twin. As Matthew pushed open a window and climbed through, the twins found themselves laughing at it all. 

"How in the name of Merlin are you a prefect?" 

A visit to Zonko's later, and the three were back down the passage again, this time carrying several boxes of Nose-Biting Teacups. Matthew had the Marauder's map in one of his hands, and was eyeing Filch's location with it. 

"How did you even get that map?" Fred asked, keeping one eye on Matthew and one eye on his boxes.

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve seen it in the Zonko’s catalog.” piped up George from behind his teacups.

“Oh, that’s a long, long story.” Matthew replied, a smile forming on his face, “It’s, ah...I’ll tell you when you’re in...fourth year, yeah.”

The brothers nodded, clearly planning to hold him to account on that. “Oh, and thanks for this, mate.” they said.

“No problem. Just remember- I was never here. Got it?” The twins nodded once again. Soon they came back to the statue of the witch, and were ready to head to the North Tower.

“Ooh, this’ll be a good one!” Fred exclaimed, grinning at their new supplies.

“The first of many in our career here at Hogwarts.” George declared.

“I look forward to mopping up your mess.” Matthew said, putting down his crates. Suddenly, the smile faded from his face, though Fred and George couldn’t see why. Matthew raised his index finger and pointed down the corridor. There, hissing like a snake, was Mrs Norris.

“I forgot.” Matthew whispered, realising just what he’d done, “The Marauder's Map doesn’t show animals.”

It wasn’t long before Filch showed up, snarling at the two first-years. “Oh, dear me. We are in trouble. That’s an awful lot of Nose-Biting Teacups, young sirs. Where on earth did you get those? Ah, Luther, it seems you got here first.”

“I-” Luther tried, but his mouth had stopped working. This was your fault. This was your fault.

“Well, let’s get you two down to my office. Luther, you should take these down there soon as you can. Don’t want any other little snots getting their hands on them, eh?”

The twins looked at Matthew sadly as Filch dragged them away. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Mrs Norris remained by the boxes.

“What?” he asked it, staring into its red eyes. He wasn’t quite sure what to do. What he found himself doing was bending down and scratching the cat behind its ear. The cat purred, as if surprised to get it from someone other than Filch. Matthew sighed.

“What do I do? I mean, I- it all happened so quickly, and I- What can I do?” he asked, glad that nobody else was around to see him like this. Mrs Norris looked at him as if the answer was obvious. Matthew kept stroking the cat until he had calmed down, at which point he got up and took a deep breath.

“This is my fault. I’m going to fix it.” At this, the cat sprinted away, her job (as far as she was concerned) done.

Matthew gazed at the boxes for a moment, before pulling out his wand. “Reducio!” he cried, turning the boxes small enough so that they could fit into his pocket. Then, he ran over the bridge to Ravenclaw Tower, straight to his dormitory, wherein he found his frog, Ribby, as well as the Dungbomb Tulip had given him three years ago. A plan was already coming together in his head. Finally, he headed back down to the Artefact Room, and picked up a teacup from one of two trolleys. Only one thing remained: How could he get Fred and George out unnoticed? The answer hit him like a bolt of lightning. It wouldn’t be easy, but that’s what made it interesting. Exactly twelve minutes later Matthew knocked on the door of Filch’s office.

“Ah, there you are.” Filch said, a grin on his face. I was about to record their names. I know they’re Weasleys and all, but apart from that…”

“Well, I’m Fred,” said George, keeping his face awfully still.

“And I’m his brother, George.” said Fred. Filch quickly wrote their names down. Matthew had to stop himself from smiling. While Filch was occupied with this, Matthew placed a small teacup and saucer onto the twin’s laps, before giving a wink to Fred and George.

“Look out!” Matthew exclaimed, “They’ve got one of the Teacups on them!” Filch gave a surprisingly high-pitched squeal and backed into a corner of the room, as Fred and George sported positively devilish looks. Matthew used the momentary distraction to toss a few open boxes across Filch’s office and grab the twin’s identical wands. If he’d done his calculations correctly, his Reducio spell would dissolve right...about…

“GAH!” Filch leapt back as the room suddenly swarmed with Nose-Biting Teacups. Matthew passed a wand to each Weasley, who glanced at them before swapping them over. They quickly left the room as Filch struggled with the teacups.

“That was brilliant, Matt!” yelled Fred over the snapping cups.

“We never doubted you’d come back, you know!” said George.

“Well, maybe we did once.”

“Or a few times.”

“And our hearts may or may not have shattered into itty-bitty pieces in that corridor.”

“Anyway, I’m glad that’s over.” declared George, but Matthew was playing with something in his pocket. The twins were shocked to see Matthew pull out a live frog, from which he detached a large Dungbomb.

“Over?” Matthew chuckled. “Listen, one thing you ought to know about pranking, you two. When it comes to something on this scale-” Matthew removed the star-shaped pin and tossed it into Filch’s office before closing the door. “You always end with a-”

BANG!

There was a flash from within the office as that three-year old Dungbomb finally burst its seams, causing a pongy whiff to float through the door. Moments later, the door opened, and out of a green mist stepped Mr Filch, looking positively dazed.

“Ashweshuee...” he mumbled, before collapsing onto the ground. There was a silence. One of the twins clicked their tongue.

“Run.” said Matthew quietly.

When the time came for the evening feast, word had spread through the castle that someone had finally done the impossible- Filch would be taking a day off.

“Thanks a bunch, you lot.” sighed Merula as Matthew and the Weasleys told the story, “Do you have any idea how much extra work we’ll have to do now?”

“It’s worth every toilet-scrub in my book.” said Matthew, helping himself to some sausages, “Oh, and I didn’t get all of the Nose-Biting Teacups back, so Percy, I’d watch out in Divination if I were you.”

Percy nodded, and silently added it to a notebook he had.

“Mum’s gonna kill me when she finds out.” Charlie groaned.

“Yeah, I think we can chalk today up to further proof Rowan should have been prefect.” Matthew said, twiddling his fork.

“Au contraire!” yelled the twins, both their mouths full of mash potato. “We learned loads today!”

“I just wish I was there to see it!” lamented Tulip, her own frog, Dennis, playing with Ribby near the untouched peas. “It sounded properly mad!”

“I certainly smelled it on my way over here.” said Talbott, slicing his food up into pieces. As the group discussed today’s events, Matthew silently passed Fred two small boxes with Zonko’s logos.

“These were all I could find, but there’s enough for one Divination lesson, I think.” Matthew explained, “The shrinking spell will last until next Friday afternoon. Plenty of time to prepare...and to find a few more.”

Fred and George grinned wildly. 

“Thanks, Matt. You’re the best authority figure we know!” whispered George.

“Why aren’t more Prefects like you?” asked Fred.

Matthew smiled half-heartedly. “Easy. For them it was a reward. For me it was a punishment. I was only made Prefect over Rowan so I’d have less time to look for the Vaults, but, well...” He left it at that, and returned to his dinner. The twins were silent too, digesting what Matthew had said.

“Fred, I think our friend Matthew could use his spirits lifted a little.”

“George, I was thinking exactly the same thing.”

[trolley-problems-r-us]

Also worth considering:

[anomander-dragnipurake]

Possess Part 2 Chapter Three: The Problem

It took more than an hour of tweaking and adjusting the scanner for E. Gadd to finally declare a verdict. “Your souls are merging,” he said, looking up from the scanner’s readout on his laptop.

“Uh… what does that mean?” Luigi wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Neither he nor King Boo liked the sound of it though.

“It means, your two separate souls are starting to merge and eventually will become one soul.” E. Gadd demonstrated with his index fingers as he spoke, holding them apart and bringing them together at the end. “You’re essentially on your way to becoming a single consciousness instead of two separate ones.”

“What… that…” Luigi stammered before being cut off by King Boo. “You better just be trying to scare us old man.”

Despite their last interaction and the way King Boo glared at him, E. Gadd now seemed unphased, confident that their need for his help kept him safe. “Why would I lie about this? It’s fascinating, I’ve seen anything like it.” He paused to look off to the side in thought, even raising a finger to his chin. “I wonder what could be causing it. Without more data and info, I can’t say for sure, but I believe it must have something to do with how long your souls have been in the same body together. There could easily be other factors in play in as well. It’s something I loved to look into further but…” He trailed off with a grimace as the tilt of his head indicated he was looking at Luigi and King Boo again.

King Boo and Luigi were in total agreement that the how and why of it didn’t matter, what mattered was… “Can you fix it?” The somehow managed to both speak at once. Which, now knowing why they were syncing up, made them even more displeased about it than before

“I don’t know yet. However…” E. Gadd snapped his chair around to face his desk, the remnants of the computers once there long since moved away and replaced with disorganized papers and various kinds of junk. He moved his laptop to side of it to begin sorting through the papers. He quickly found whatever he was looking for and hopped up out of his chair to rush over to stand next to Luigi.

“Behold the KBE,” he said, holding it out so they could both see it. It was a set of blueprints depicting a seemingly hollow machine. His chicken scratch handwriting all over it was borderline illegible. “That’s short of ‘King Boo Exorcist’.” King Boo snarled inwardly at that name but didn’t say anything for now because E. Gadd was still explaining. “It’s designed to force King Boo out of your body and hopefully leave you soul intact during the process. I’ll have to modify its design and change some of its innerworkings now that we know your souls are merging. But since I haven’t even started building it yet, thanks to a certain somebody wrecking my lab, forcing me start from the ground up, that shouldn’t be too difficult. … Hmm… I might need a few more parts though, I don’t know yet.”

“Uh… I’ll help if you need me too,” Luigi said with only a little reluctance from King Boo. The sooner this was dealt with, the better, especially since there was probably a point where it would no longer be reversible. … Hopefully they hadn’t already reached it or were anywhere close.

“I don’t think you or King Boo could help with building or designing it, you’d probably just get in the way if you tried. For the heavy lifting stuff and finding the needed parts, I already got a couple helpers, they should be back soon too now that I think about it. But if it’s needed, one more helper can’t hurt. Or uh… I guess it’s actually two helpers, huh? Hmmm… I never would’ve thought I’d have a chance to have King Boo himself as a lab assistant. Just think off the experiments I could run. I could learn so much about him and boos in general if he were a willing participant.” He grinned, rubbing his hands together in glee as he placed himself back on his computer chair.

King Boo bristled and made a hissing sound. “I didn’t volunteer to help you. You’re helping me with my problem because I’ll kill you if you don’t, understood?”

That gave E. Gadd pause, his glee fading. “If I fail though, your soul and Luigi’s will fully merge. Not something I’d like to let happen, even if I do stand to learn a lot from witnessing and studying it as it does. But in the event that I fail and that does happen, I predict his kindness will dampen your blood lust enough that you won’t kill me.”

King Boo growled. It wasn’t long ago that he’d had E. Gadd’s life in his hands, maybe it was time to remind him of that. He took a step forward, lifting a hand to grab him by the neck again.

No! Unlike Luigi’s previous attempts to stop King Boo from doing something, this worked. He didn’t take back full control of his body but just enough to cause King Boo’s next attempt at a step to end with them falling face first onto the floor instead.

“Oh,” E. Gadd said from above them. “You okay sonny?”

Luigi hadn’t been okay for what felt like forever now, he barely even remembered what ‘okay’ felt like. So he didn’t even try to respond as King Boo stood back up to brush himself off with an annoyed huff. He hated that Luigi could do that now, he wasn’t supposed to. … Too bad, Luigi could and because of that, he wasn’t going to let King Boo hurt anyone ever again, including me. Luigi needed to make that very clear because he was never going to go through that again. If King Boo didn’t like it – which he didn’t – he’d just have to suck it up and deal with it because Luigi was done with his bullshit.

‘I hate you.’ … The feeling was mutual; Luigi had never hated anyone more. … But as much as King Boo hated the reminder of Luigi’s growing ability to fight him, it made it pretty clear that he wasn’t in full control of the meatsuit anymore. Which unfortunately meant to make getting free of it easier and faster he might have to do the unthinkable and actually endeavor to get along with his enemy lest they merge or whatever. And honestly, Luigi leeching off his magic was just the worst and unacceptable, so much so, he might be willing to avoid giving him cause to do so when possible.

Luigi had to do the mental equivalent of a double take. If his mind wasn’t running so closely to King Boo’s he never would’ve believed it. Are you really thinking we should get along for now?

King Boo hated that Luigi could read his inner thoughts so clearly. There was nothing he could keep hidden anymore when he was supposed to be the one in control and the only one doing the mind reading but… ‘Yes, that’s what I’m thinking.’ He didn’t want Luigi fighting him for control every step of the way. ‘We both want the exact same thing.’ And honestly King Boo wanted it so bad he’d be willing to let Luigi go free if that’s what it took. ‘So for now, it’ll be easier for both of us if we cooperate.’ It grated for him to admit it but their souls fully merging would be far worse than losing a little bit dignity.

Luigi loathed the thought of getting along with King Boo but… he was right. It’d be easier for both of them to avoid fighting if they could. And… they’d both do whatever it took to increase the odds of becoming free of each other.

It made sense but… I can’t believe you’re the one who thought of it.

‘I can be reasonable sometimes.’ He was going to say more but…

E. Gadd grabbed Luigi by the tie and pulled him down to eye level. “Is you staring off into space like that going to become a thing now? What’s going on in that head of yours?” He poked the side of Luigi’s head.

Neither of them liked this invasion of space, King Boo far more so, but as promised, he let Luigi gently pull away. He was the one who spoke though. “Just coming to an agreement not to kill or threaten to kill you for now. You better fix this though.”

E. Gadd nodded. “I intend to. The pursuit of science is important but Luigi deserves better than to have his soul wrapped up in yours for forever.” There was an uncharacteristic amount of venom in his voice. It sounded weird coming from him but was heartening to hear.

An hour later

While E. Gadd went over the KBE blueprint Luigi and King Boo kind of just hung out in the lab. He called them over for more tests and scans twice but in the meantime, they found a spare chair to sit on while Luigi worked on regaining Polterpup’s trust. Though really it was more King Boo’s convincing Polterpup that all was fine with him now. He was more of a cat person but dogs were cool too, even ones that were traitors.

But alas, very soon after they had him playing fetch with them, he lifted his head to look towards the exit. A half second later, he jumped off and ran out into the front room. Good things never lasted long, did they?

The doorbell rang. E. Gadd, froze and looked up, hopping off his chair. He got halfway to the door before he paused to look at King Boo and Luigi. “Oh uh… I probably should’ve told you who my current lab assistants are, huh? Whoops. Oh well, too late now, you’re about to find out anyway.” With a wave of his hand to follow, he resumed exiting the room.

With shared curiosity, King Boo stood up and followed. They arrived in the front room in time to watch Gooigi enter, helping someone still outside maneuver a stack of boxes on trolley inside.

“This,” E. Gadd said as King Boo stepped up next to him, “is most of, if not all of what I need to make the KBE. With my lab all busted, I had to order in special parts from all over and have them custom built elsewhere. It was expensive but Princess Peach actually funded all of it because…” He continued but Luigi was no longer paying attention because E. Gadd’s other assistant and the one helping bring the boxes in was…

“Mario!” Luigi stepped forward, intending to rush over and hug him. It had been far too long since he’d seen Mario, he’d missed him so… His second step failed as his leg refused to move, resulting in him stumbling and landing on his face again.

Evil bastard that he was, King Boo laughed. ‘Vengeance for earlier.’

Me trying to hug my brother and you trying to choke E. Gadd are not comparable. And King Boo had promised to get along. The idea to do so had even come from him.

‘Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I’ve had my fun, I’ll be good now.’ Mostly anyway. He even stood them back up.

Mario had approached but hung back nervously. He opened his mouth to say something but before he could, Luigi hugged him. He froze for a second before hugging back. “Luigi!”

Luigi did his best to ignore and push back King Boo’s distaste for this, drown it out with his own intense feelings. He even succeeded a little.

‘Stop it! It’s gross! I don’t want to feel that!’ King Boo fought but leeching off his power, Luigi managed to maintain control for now. He’d been having an awful time these past few weeks especially and he’d been so lonely and afraid and missed his bro so much, he was going to enjoy this brotherly hug for as long as he possibly could and there wasn’t a single thing King Boo could do stop him.

“It’s okay,” Mario said, lightly patting his back.

Oh! Luigi wasn’t sure when he’d started but he was crying as he clung to Mario, more sobbing really. He wanted to explain; tell Mario how horrible and awful his life had been lately and how scared he was by this new revelation, and how much he didn’t want his soul to merge with King Boo’s, but he lacked the words so… he just clung on him for dear life and cried instead.

“We’re okay now.” Mario sounded very unsure of his words but it didn’t matter. All that mattered right now was that he was here.

 -

Eventually his tears petered out, leaving him feeling drained and exhausted but overall better. And… horrified and disgusted, that he’d cried at all, especially so much… no, that feeling came from King Boo. He still didn’t want to let go yet but… King Boo made him.

Mario gave him a small hopeful smile, keeping a welcome hand on his arm. “This means King Boo’s gone or uh…” his eyes shifted up towards King Boo’s crown for a brief second before meeting Luigi’s again, “something, right?” He looked so hopeful, Luigi wanted to lie and…

“Nope, I’m still here,” King Boo said, making Mario flinch away, breaking contact completely. “And very unhappy with everything that just happened.” He was even a little frightened by how overcome with Luigi’s emotions he’d been. Even now, he couldn’t muster up nearly as much hate for Mario as he knew he was supposed to have. … Good!

“S-sorry,” Luigi said, pulling his arms in to hug himself. Maybe… he shouldn’t have hugged Mario when Mario didn’t know King Boo would technically be part of the hug too but… he’d just needed it so bad. “I… we’re… he’s kind of stuck in me and….

“Our souls are merging,” King Boo cut in because he wanted to see the horror on Mario’s at the revelation. He wasn’t disappointed either. “Meaning if we don’t fix it, and get me the fuck out of this meatsuit, we’ll cease to exist as separate entities. Which I’m sure you can guess is something neither of us want and so here we are, trying to get it fixed before it’s too late.”

“Mamma mia,” he muttered under his breath; his way of not cursing. King Boo hated it.

“He’s uh… playing nice for now,” Luigi said. “Mostly anyway.”

“That uh… good. Can E. Gadd can fix the whole…” Mario gesture vaguely towards them, “… soul merging thing?”

“Hopefully,” they said together, hating that they’d done so even as they did it. But having exhausted all other options already, E. Gadd was their only remaining hope.

[bilgisticallykosher]

Selfishness vs. Selfishness Redux

Pre-episode thoughts. I don't think they're going to address the dark side Everybody-already-knew-that thing right away. I'm still thinking Deceit's gonna be Virgil, but I'm also not so certain that's going to wind up going down. Because there's a lot of other stuff to get into. We know from the first Asides that stuff between Virgil and Patton is growing, and simmering. It's coming, and while that's in the future, there's probably going to be more build-up here. Is it that Patton knew about Virgil's past? Is it something else entirely? This is going to be a two hour episode, geez. 

Also, I can't believe he's actually going to the wedding. Idk. All those people saying he got the date wrong, though? First of all, Logan is in charge of the schedule, he'd never let that happen, how dare? And also, I always double check dates and invitations for stuff. I really doubt Virgil wouldn't have looked at the invitation and checked the information again. Watch me be totally wrong now. 

I don't know who I think the cloaked figure is. Could be Deceit ("like a freaking Scooby Doo villain"), could be Thomas himself. Probably not Organization XIII, but I'm not completely eliminating the option, let me have this. 

Things I'd like, but am 99% certain won't happen; Deceit's name (which I'm both hoping and expecting to not start with D), a new side, Remus and Deceit interacting on camera, or really Remus at all. Except for that green score of BOOBS, I maintain that's Remus's contribution. 

ALRIGHT, LET'S GO, I'M NOT READY!!!!

First impression of the thumbnail. You vs. Yourself???? Oh my gosh. Ohhhh, I'm freaking out. Patton looks so apprehensive, and I don't know if that's on general, or because of Roman or in response to Roman, because Roman looks so annoyed at Patton! He's so angry oh my gosh. I mentioned I wasn't ready, right? Okay. Okay. So their sprites are different styles, which is cool. Patton's looks risk-based stroll around town type of RPG, Roman's looks fighting style. 

The options for the character select???? Oh my gosh, that's. Hi, Remus. Anyway, uh, I don't know what this means, but there's three character options on top and- DARK SIDES ARE SEPARATE FROM LIGHT SIDES! Oh gosh, I was thinking maybe it was something to do with specifically Logan. Ooh, Deceit's in his lawyer outfit, nice touch.  THERE'S AN EXTRA BLANK PLAYER OPTION. I don't know if that means he'll be revealed this episode, or just that he exists. I mean, we just had Deceit's logo, Remus's reveal and name reveal… here goes.

IT STARTS WITH THE VIDEO GAME??? THIS IS THE INTRO????? THE WEDDING??????!!!!!!! Oh hey word crush. Oh hey, it's the couple! Starting to think this is a dream or fantasy, btw. Also, Lee and Mary Lee sound like...Esteban and Valerie? Maybe? Idk. Omg, Life is pain. 

This is awkward, beautiful. Pfft, hence the marriage. Photographer is great, no idea who he or the emcee are. Ooh. Crushed. 

INTRO??? EXCUSE ME??? Oh was SvS originally on 3/31? Yeah, good, play a review like all of us haven't been obsessing over what happened last time. "APRIL 13" I'm just going thi pause forever now. Oh this is going to be the angry walk in that was previewed in the bloopers, I can tell. Oh no. OH NO! And it is at night and he seriously freaking actually went to the wedding????

Oh my gosh he's so angry. Ohhh, Patton rethinking his phrasing, nice. You should never→I'm surprised that you etc. Oh Roman! Oh, maybe we should… not review. Oh boy. 

Oh there's Patton's avatar. In then guitar hero thing. Oh, Thomas is associated with the color white, confirmed??? I like how they did the notes there. So much detail. The talk sprites are great, but the expressions on the dancing sprites are worth paying attention to. Okay, Patton's still very, um, defensive, I guess is the word? Thomas is angry and bereft and confused and full of doubt, and Roman's heavily on the confused side (ha) about him aligning with Deceit. This is why he stole his hat. Great animation work, everyone, that was fantastic, artists! 

"Why didn't I just talk to them before the wedding?" THOMAS. Also, because Deceit specifically prevented Logan from being too close to the courtroom scene by benching him and not asking him what his idea of a compromise was. "I brought that up," well, you did, but Deceit kinda made it seem like you were suggesting lying to them, so you got shut down. Sorry, Ro. Listen, I love Deceit, but the boy's a manipulator. 

We learn to predict the future!!! Roman, no. Woah, Patton's just being completely dismissive. I mean he's been through some hard times the last few episodes, minus LNTAO, but damn. Oh. Roman's very much defending Patton. This forebodes very badly. This is going to explode terribly. Oh no. 

Okay, so, the thing with the feral cats. Is Roman okay? Did someone do this to him? More importantly, did he do this to me? Also, on a serious note, I'm super shocked Deceit hasn't come in yet, because he (and Thomas, and arguably Patton) is obviously regretting going to the wedding. I mean, Virgil's not coming in right away because of the reveal at the end of DWIT, but- hey where's Logan?! Logan and Deceit should both totally be here! *gasp* Except in the one on one episodes (Heart vs. Mind, My Negative Thinking, Logince; the argument) it's always primarily been the two sides that are featured with the others either not there or off-screen or making small cameos. But Deceit was and is an important part of this decision past, present, and going forward! 

Oooh, I like the Lee and Mary Lee backstory. Hm. Patton does bring good points, but. I still agree with- oh, Thomas just solidly saying no made me snort. Okay, so speaking of the coin bleeping, why the video games? I know there's more to come with it, how do they come into play? Oh okay metaphor. 

That was clearly not the good ending, Roman. Bringing up Is Thomas A Good Person again. OOH xylophone, is he a-comin'? Oh he's directly blaming Patton. Wow, Roman. 

A BAGEL?! Oh, game sssssssstore. Really? Frogger, Pat? 16 graphics. Oh there's the hotdogs. OH and there's the cloaked guy! Smashing our theories. That does not seem like Sondheim. 

The puns, oh my gosh, brilliant. Getting to the meat of them here. Gosh these graphics are fantastic. 6AM dull. 

Oh. Hm. Technically, he does not have to give him the 'dog. The building tension is fascinating. 

HI, LOGAN! Patton looking real uncomfortable at "regret." I mean, they all know they regret it now, right? Roman making fun of behoove, that's so funny, I have no idea why. Seriously, whoever's doing the art, I'm dying at Logan's expressions. Woah good thing viewers have the pause button. I'm all for not buying X-mas decorations. I'm doing my part, goyim. 

I'm counting "it's not like Kingdom Hearts" in lieu of that having been Organization XIII. Oh boy, Patton. Right thing vs. Feeling good vs. Feeling good about doing the right thing. This is falling apart. Patton's noise. 

BOOBS omg Deceit is Bowser. I love that painting in the background! Scutes! Time went from limited to being lost to poorly spent to wasted! I'm standing by the purple being Virgil. Fyi, in Judaism, doing a good thing for the wrong reasons doesn't matter, because you're still doing the good thing, even if it's just for the reward. There's a thing about it with Avraham and a King.

Roman's getting close to breaking. Reptilian rapscallian guy. And who's to say he can't be doing it for the reward and to help people? 

"... an individual's happiness and the amount of selfless acts…" that should be number, not amount, Logan! Can't judge good deeds only by how good you feel when you do them. 

Okay, here we go. How do we know what's Right? Killing and stealing is illegal everywhere, yes, Thomas, what are you doing, Thomas???

Oh my gosh, not the trolley problem. They're referring to Deceit as Denial and Roman as Passion! Oh gosh, that looks like Joan, Talyn, Dot, Valerie, and Terrence, and Leo by himself, maybe? Oh geez, I jolted. Logan index carding for trolley problem. 

Unus Annus is right, the trolley problem is stupid. Oh my gosh, Logan's giant wall of text physically pushing Patton back, I spit all over my screen. Skip All. 

Roman's… blaming himself? Oh!!! Are we getting Roman's insecure arc???!!! This is a complex issue, and Patton's having a hard time backing down, and everyone's feeling bad.

Scared?! I hear music! NO. Why is he scared, oh my gosh?????? That's not a tired metaphor. Oh! I've heard of hypoxia! It was hypothesized (and disproven) to be the reason for a specific Bermuda Triangle incident. 

Good point, Logan. Regarding theory and in the moment instincts. Remus mention with intrusive thoughts! Shocked that Logan is arguing for leisure time. Logan's self satisfied smirk at the self-sacrifice. GLITCHY! Oh he's a frog. Lilypadton. 

Oh my gosh I'm getting so stressed. Yes, thank you, Logan for the scream. I… don't. The conscientious comment. No, it's not. This seems… Deceit-y. IT IS! SHARP SIDE OH MY GOSH! Oh, he didn't rise up, he popped out in the freaking dialogue box, NO, FRICK IT WAS RIGHT THERE! And the Nietzsche and the specific examples that he used!!! I'm so angry! I DIDN'T THINK HE'D TAKE LOGAN'S PLACE AGAIN! I MISSED THE SIGNS! 

Hey guys, look, it's Deceit. Bull… frog. Lord of the lies. Oh! 8-bit Deceit theme. Okay, the first thing Deceit said about him not doing it on purpose was nice, but yeah, those words striking him is accurate. Yeesh, harsh. 

Is Patton eating his own words? Oh, uh, is anyone going to acknowledge he hit Thomas? Is that telling of the situation instead of just being a funny background event? 

The crick in Thomas's neck is so funny. SNAKES ON THE PLANE!!! ...Hm. Happy that he brought that up. Oh my gosh, Deceit's spluttering, he's like so bad at things sometimes, I love it. 

Logan! No, don’t do that, everybody appreciates you! Double curse? Pffffft, Logan. Deceit…definitely smiling at Logan's logic. Deceit is interesting here. Oh wow, yikes. He's really fascinating here. Legitimately complimentary? Oh, no, kind of not, maybe. Roman looks distressed.

"...Trees?" Roman's super pumped up. Good for him! Ha, his imitation. Deceit looking confused? Patton looking all sorts of things, I really think that Deceit is being genuine here- NAME?! I'D THIS HAPPENING? Why is he stripping? His, no, what does his glove have to do with his name? 

………. Janice? Did he say Jenus or Janice. It sounded like Janice. Deceit. No. Oh, burn, Roman. Damn, he almost got me. His name is not Janice. No. It's not. Don't even. Deceit was being so straight(ha)forward for the past couple of minutes. Awww, Roman. Insecurity addressing time? Wait, why is Deceit nodding at the hero thing? His lip is trembling, his voice is cracking and oh no! Roman just sank out.

Don't call him Janice, that's not his name. Oh he's being genuine again. Patton's talking about himself. WAIT WHAT. He had a five second cameo, omg. 

Yeah, those are the easier questions. No, Deceit, bad Deceit. Man, his facial expressions in this episode. Fractionally fiendish fibber. Oh, I like the reasons for Deceit being a part of him! That's… cute? Oddly cute, maybe. So, freaking how far in the future is the Asides? 

Stop calling him Janice, that's not his name. Oh, Deceit and Thomas bonding. That snort, oh my gosh. Oh, serious Deceit again! That reaction to "you're right" is oddly similar to that fake laugh at the end of Embarrassing Phases. 

………. Virgil's not here yet. His reveal isn't being addressed. Accepting Deceit. That's why he's so pissed at Patton in Asides. The next episode proper they're going to reveal that Deceit's accepted, more or less, and Patton was a big part of that, hugely changing his mind, that's why he's so pissed at him!!!

April 30th? Oh is this Lee and Mary Lee? I was wrong on the voices. Door-yelling! Hm. I mean. It's nice that they're acknowledging him, but I really don't think that sways the situation one way or another. Cute more background, and Thomas being awkward. They. This could have been instead of the wedding. Kingdom Hearts again! 

Oh hi, Patton and Deceit. He seems annoyed at the situation. Patton and Deceit bonding. Hi again, Leslie. Wild. 

This video really didn't go at all how I thought it would. Roman was barely miffed at Patton. Oh man, this was intense. I. Oh man. I need to process a lot. But I think we're on the right path, here. Janice is not his name!

Okay, I went on tumblr and two seconds in, I saw Janus, which I looked up and that makes way more sense. Another, more condensed post to follow. And several thousand reblogs.

[lol-jackles]

There are several actors coming off of shows that are all really good - from Arrow, Lucifer, The Good Place, Supernatural - and no one has picked up another gig except for Jared P. Who are the shining stars coming out these ending series? And is there anyone you are surprised that have not been hired yet?

True, out of the examples you used, Jared has the highest profile gig post-SPN.

Stephen Amell will star in Starz’s Heels, an 8-episode drama about family of professional wrestlers.  Stephen and Katie are the only ones I envision to continue to have high profile gigs.

I haven’t heard of the Lucifer casts’ next projects but I expect Tom Ellis to have another project soon if not already, the dude is magnetic.

The Good Place Kirsten Bell continues to do voice work. Ted Danson is a recurring on Curb Your Enthusiasm.  Jameela Jamil is hosting the Misery Index game show as a side gig.  Manny Jacinto has a bit role in Top Gun and is fllming a horror tv series (I still can’t recall him in Supernatural Pac Man Fever).  William Jackson Harper has a recurring role on the Underground Railroad and is it’s a credit to his acting that I didn’t recognize him as Chidi in Midsommar despite him playing the exact same role:

.

Then I became curious how his Midsommar character would handle “The Trolley Problem” The Good Place brought up in season 2, which now that I had time to think about, he would somehow manage to kill everybody, including himself.

I think Harper will continue to do well as a character actor in high profile projects.

And is there anyone you are surprised that have not been hired yet?

No because that’s the reality of the business, 97% unemployment rate.  

[trolley-problems-r-us]

I’m kind of regretting posting about the trolley problem. It’s been reblogged a few times, and the people reblogging it seem to be assuming I don’t understand the basic concept.

(Which is probably my fault for saying that one option is the “obvious” correct one. Sigh.)

I understand the concept. It is a thought experiment to help people clarify their assumptions and values, such as “is causing someone harm the same as allowing harm to happen due to inaction” and “should it matter if you know them personally” and so on. With some Kobayashi-Maru “what do you do in an unwinnable scenario” thrown in (which would have been more obvious if I’d actually shared the thing I was responding to.)

The points I was trying to make are, 1. Your knowledge is never complete, but you might assume it is, so watch out for that, and 2. The trolley problem assumes you’re the one making the decision, but there’s actually more than one person in this scenario, so in a real-world trolley problem like decision (such as “should a disabled person with a ‘low quality of life’ be denied a ventilator so that an abled person can have it instead,” or “is it morally acceptable to send a health center serving Native Americans body bags in place of masks,” or “can we afford the Green New Deal,” or...) there’s going to be a lot more people mourning their disabled love one than people getting to make the call, and usually they are not the same people.

And I don’t remember if I spelled this out, but usually they’re different people on entirely predictable lines of race, class, disability, gender, etc. It’s (mostly) white abled affluent cishet men, making decisions about queer people’s lives and disabled people’s lives and poor people’s lives and the lives of black and brown people, without fully understanding the context (see: quality of life assumptions) and often without seeing the trolley car victims as being entirely people.

And usually it’s not one life vs five, it’s lives versus money or comfort or convenience.

My point was: if you have a hammer things look like nails, and if you have trolley problems as a framework but not oppression as a framework, you’re going to mistake oppression issues (with perfectly good solutions involving no extra deaths) for trolley problems.

Maybe there are people who read the first post, understood it (whether they agreed with it or not), and didn’t feel the need to comment. It’s plausible. I know I tend to feel a stronger compulsion to speak up in disagreement rather than to agree.