#tros reader insert

[awkward-tension-art]

Darkness on Umbara Chp.8 (Rex x Reader)

Chapter 7. Chapter 9.

Moment to Breathe

cw: Rex x Reader, Reader is a medic, incorrect military procedure, graphic descriptions of injuries, blood, swearing, death and battle, Spoilers for the Umbara Arc, Pong Krell is an asshole, reader insert, names of non-canon dead clones, Mentions of breakdowns, transwoman clone, Brief mention of inhibitor chips, reader is gender neutral, no use of (Y/N), if i miss a tag LMK

Minors DNI

In the end, you had to be sedated.

When Rex was called to continue the fight at the airbase with the reinforcements, you panicked so badly Kix had to inject you to calm you down. 

Luckily, your mind wasn’t clouded and you still had your wits about you. You were still able to treat the wounded, but you didn’t miss how Jesse opted to ‘guard’ you and Kix as you managed to transfer all the wounded into the airbase’s medical facility. 

It was clear he wanted to keep an eye on you since Rex couldn’t. And, truthfully, this was the first time you’d had such a breakdown in front of the men. Kix had his own, when Tup tackled him, so the trooper most likely thought both medics of the 501st were unstable. 

Even if you were, you did your jobs.

The fight was chaotic as the Umbarans battled for their facility. Luckily, with both Jesse and Kix, you got every injured trooper into the safety of the medical bay before the fighting was even done. 

They didn’t have bacta tanks, but they had much needed supplies you used to save everyone you could. Not nearly enough for everyone if Krell decided to pull another suicide mission, but enough to help those that needed it right now.

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno. Zeke. Jumper. Aura. Dia. Silk. 

By the time Krell had joined the soldiers, you and Kix hadn’t lost anyone else. You got the troopers stable, laying on cots, and sleeping as peacefully as they could. Those who didn’t require life sustaining equipment were sent to the barracks of the airbase to rest. 

You and Kix stepped outside once you both were done with the wounded. Jesse had been keeping a steady guard by the door, preventing anyone uninjured from coming inside and disturbing you.

The airbase belonged to the 501st. 

Umbarans who hadn’t died fighting, were led to prison cells somewhere else within the base. Several squads were already walking around, inspecting the Umbaran weaponry. A few were going through crates of supplies, such as weapons and ammo.

You remained silent as you followed Kix and Jesse through the base. The three of you met up with Rex, Fives and Hardcase. There was pride in your lover’s eyes as he spoke to the heroic pilots, “despite Hardcase’s flying, you two saved us all.” 

Hardcase sounded as proud and energized as always, “It wasn’t so tough.”

“You sure?” Jesse took off his helmet with a smirk, “You looked a little green when you came out of that fighter.” He teased the hyperactive trooper. All of them were in a good mood, finding the shred of happiness after such casualties. 

You wished you could feel the same pride and happiness. But your mental state, as well as the sedatives in your blood prevented it. 

“Mesh’la,” Rex turned to you, “Are you ok?” 

“No losses since we took the airbase.” you responded, blatantly ignoring his question about you, “The seriously injured are stable and resting in the med bay.”

“That's not-.”

“Captain,” His words were loudly cut off by Krell. The temporary General stomped towards you all, looking as displeased as ever. Appo was tailing him along with another trooper, “Report, what is our situation?”

The 501st captain stepped forward, “General, we have taken the base and cut off enemy supply lines to the capital.” His back was straight, standing at attention, as did the others. 

You…remained behind Fives, staying out of the Jedi’s line of sight. If Krell turned his ire to you, you couldn’t promise you wouldn’t do something to get yourself court-martialed.

The besliska raised a large hand and rubbed his chin, “Luck has smiled on you today, Captain.” His tone sounded smug, “Consider yourself fortunate.” 

“It wasn't all luck sir,” Rex kept calm and steady, not letting Krell get to him, “A lot of men died to take this base.”

Too many good men. You thought blankly. A part of you felt hollow and empty as the captain mentioned the lost souls.

The General raised his hands, and looked at the dark sky, “A price for such victory.” He looked back down and crossed two of his four arms, “Perhaps you’ll realize this.”

You didn’t miss Rex’s fist clenching in rage. Your lover’s fury was a rare sight. But dammit, Krell was doing a good job at bringing it out. Instead of lashing out however, he took a breath and lowered his head.

The Jedi turned and began to walk away, “Dismissed.”

You and Fives stepped forward. You placed your hand on Rex’s shoulder as the ARC trooper grumbled, “He’s the one who will never realize.”

You remained silent, only squeezing Rex’s shoulder before letting go. You turned and began to walk back to the medical bay, unable to be around anyone right now. 

At least those in the medical facility were unconscious. 

Once the doors opened, you were surprised to see a trooper. Hana, had been waiting for you, holding a bloody wrist, “Sorry to bother, Doc. One of the bastards were hiding and jumped me.”

You motioned for the trooper to sit down on an open cot, “Are sutures alright?” You wanted to save bandages and bacta. Just in case Krell tried to kill anyone else. 

Hana nodded, resting the injury on one of the small medical cabinets that were placed next to every bed. You pulled a chair, set the suture kit down, and immediately got to work.

During your stitching, you took notice of distinguishable features, since this was the first time you’ve seen the trooper without a helmet. White nail polish, small studs for earrings, hair pulled back into a bun, indicating length longer than ‘military standard’. 

You didn’t want to assume, but it wasn’t unheard of for there to be sisters among the troopers.

“Hana.” you spoke softly, “I like your nails. And your earrings.” It was a small push, one to ask the question without assuming.

Hana’s surprised look then relieved smile told you all you needed to know. She responded quietly, “I know it's not regulation, but…”

“Who cares about regulation?” You returned her smile, noticing that she also wore waterproof mascara, “If it's what you want, then no one should stop you.” Your suturing was almost done.

Hana nodded, looking at her nails on the hand you weren’t stitching up. Impressively, they weren’t chipped, “I might go blue, next time.” She murmured, “so I keep matching the 501st.”

“Why not paint one hand blue and the other white?” You suggested, deciding to use a patch to cover the sutures, “Something unique.”

It was nice, having a conversation that wasn’t about Umbara, injuries, the soldiers lost or Krell. It was just…about nail polish. A good distraction. Something to get your mind off your earlier breakdown.

By the time you were done, she settled on a pattern of half blue and half white. She walked out of the clinic, with a stitched up wrist and small smile. Maybe she needed the mental distraction of the doom and death as well. 

Despite losing so many…at least you made Hana feel better.

You sighed, putting your face in your hands as soon as the door was closed. You basked in the small clicks and beeps of machines monitoring the men's status, taking just a few minutes to breathe. After a second, you heard a shift. 

One of the unconscious troopers turned onto his side to get more comfortable. You inspected the medical equipment next to his bed to check his status. He was alive and healing.

All of them were alive.

The doors opened again, and you looked up. Rex was standing there, helmet off and looking at you with both love and worry in his beautiful eyes, “May I…come in?” He asked quietly, as if not to wake the men. 

“You don't have to ask, you know.” you responded, giving him a small, tired smile. It was endearing, how he’d become shy when you two were in private.

He walked over to you and brushed his hand over your cheek, “How’s your arm?” the captain asked, looking at the bandages you still wore. The bacta soaked gauze were doing their job, as the wound pulsed and throbbed in pain, indicating healing. Whether all your muscles would return remains to be seen, but at least the nerves and veins were being repaired. 

“It’s getting better.” you answered, reaching up to hold his face in your hand. Your eyes narrowed, “You need rest.” 

“We all do.” Rex mumbled, closing his eyes and leaning his face into your palm. He breathed deeply before opening his eyes to look at you, “Mesh’la,” His term of endearment for you slipped from his lips, “You’ve saved so many of my brothers.” 

That's why he was here. Because of your earlier breakdown. 

“I’m alright now, Rex.” you gently reassured him, “I…was panicked. After the battle with the tanks, and getting Silk killed, I was terrified I’d lose you.” 

Rex leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on your forehead. One of his hands rested at your hip, holding you close, “Silk’s death wasn’t your fault, none of the losses are your fault,” his tone was so soft, so gentle, “You have saved so many of us, not just on Umbara, but on every planet we’ve been to. Every battle, every fight…you’ve done so much. For all of us.”

“I want to do more,” you responded, “I don’t want you to lose any more of your brothers…I know it's war, but…”

He sighed, “We are clones. We were made to fight for the Republic. Die for the Republic, if the situation calls for it.” His eyes held a certain sadness to it, “We are meant to be expendable.” 

“Not to me.” your voice was resolute. He wasn’t expendable. No clone was expendable.

Rex looked at you like you were the moon and stars themselves. He pulled you closer, kissing you passionately on the lips. Your chest met his armor, and he leaned into you, “Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum…” he murmured when you broke away, “Gar cuyir ner kar'ta bal runi…” His forehead was against yours, holding you so tenderly.

“Bal ni kar'tayl gar darasuum,” you whispered back, taking in his warmth and love, “Gar cuyir ner oyay bal narser…”

He kissed you again, only pulling away when one of the unconscious soldiers moved in his sleep.

“I have to find Krell,” he mumbled, looking at you mournfully, “He may have orders…”

“Go, be the 501st captain, cyare.” you gave him a peck on the cheek, “Good luck dealing with him.”

He sighed and stepped back, leaving the medical bay. 

You watched him go before checking on all of them men. They were stable still, and luckily, a few were in a good enough state to wake up. A majority of them responded well to your neuro-check. Despite the good response from them, you wanted to keep the soldiers who sustained hits to the head in the med bay. 

However, there was an ARF trooper, Rush, who was still slurring his words. It was a terrible blow to the head he had sustained taking the airbase. Putting him back under the effects of sedatives and painkillers, you wanted to move on to everyone else. But…

Well, the Umbarans were technologically advanced. The life support and monitoring systems were intergalactic basics. All from the same base that you were trained with. However, they had systems and machines you had never seen before. You tried to use some of the more heavy duty equipment, but had no luck. 

One of them was a scanner, that you could tell. It resembled a datapad, but clearly had the technology and structure of the Umbarans. The screen had values and data that exceeded most medical equipment in the Republic. Your fingers toyed with it, trying to get the thing to work in your favor. Such a small but powerful scanner would be useful. 

Your shoulders slumped just as the med bay doors opened again, “Holy fuck you’re still awake!?” Kix’s eyes were wide, staring at you. His helmet was off and he seemed…somewhat refreshed. He probably got something to eat and took a power nap after Krell dismissed everyone. 

“Yea, there's still a lot to do.” you looked at him, holding the scanner, “Plus, I’m trying to crack some of this equipment.”

“The hardware and programming isn’t anything we’ve seen before.” The medic looked over your shoulder to see the tablet in your hands, “Oh? What's this?”

“I think it's a hand-held full body scanner. More powerful than anything in the Republic.” you answered, “I want it. But I can’t get the damn program to behave.” 

He stepped back, one hand on his hip, “Jesse and Fives are in the east hangar playing with some of their weapons,” Kix gave you a soft smile, “I’ll keep an eye on the guys here, take a break.” 

You couldn’t help but return his smile. It was clear the both of you had hit your limits with the losses. But now, after some rest, your spirits were higher.

After you gave an overview of each of the injured troopers, you left the medical bay and went to the hagar. The airbase was more organized now. Supplies were being moved, weapons were being inspected, and patrols were established. The 501st was very efficient. 

The hagar wasn't so organized but definitely had more energy. Several soldiers were on floating platforms, inspecting suspended starships. Others were working on the ships themselves, looking at the mechanics and wiring. It didn’t take you long to find Fives and Jesse. 

The ARC trooper was with Tup, having pried off a metal sheet from the ship he piloted before. The two of them were discussing something, most likely the controls or mechanics, as they inspected the inner workings of the Umbaran weapon. 

Dogma was seated nearby, cleaning his rifle while Jesse was standing at a consol, brow furrowed. He was hard at work attempting to crack the enemy hardware.

You approached, stepping in front of the console, “Hey Jesse,” Your voice was quiet, not wanting to distract the others, or wake up Hardcase who was asleep on the floor, leaning against the ship Tup and Fives worked on, “Are you busy?”

The senior trooper perked up, “Depends,” He leaned forward with a glint in his eye, “I can always make time for you.” you snorted when he winked. 

Dogma scoffed, “That is inappropriate.” 

You rolled your eyes, but handed Jesse the tablet, “Kix told me you were working on the Umbaran hardware, I was hoping you could help me crack this thing.” 

He raised a brow and took it, “What is it?”

“Some kind of scanner, I think.” you answered, sitting down next to Dogma, “But more powerful than anything in the Republic.”

“Might be easier than this fucking thing.” He smacked the console, “Give me a few minutes and I'll-.”

There was a yelp behind you and Fives tumbled off the starship, hitting the ground. The noise woke Hardcase with a jerk, who sat up and looked around confused. 

“I told you not to do that,” Tup looked at the ARC trooper's pathetic form on the floor, “I warned you that if you touched the wire, it would shock you.” 

“I know, I know.” Fives huffed and got to his feet and dusted himself off, “Fucking Umbarans and their…”

“I cracked the hardware,” Jesse raised the tablet, “It says Fives doesn't have a brain.”

“Son of a-”

You laughed softly alongside Tup who had paused his toying with the machine. Once you stepped up to the console, hand open, Jesse looked at you, “Oh, sorry. I actually didn't. I just saw an opportunity.” He chuckled. 

Fives huffed and swiped the Umbara gadget from him, “Give me that. I’ll figure this out.”

“What's going on?” Hardcase slurred from the floor.

“Nothing, go to the barracks and get some sleep.” Dogma mumbled, keeping his eyes down to continue cleaning his weapon. 

Hardcase looked around before he silently nodded and stood up, “Sleep well, buddy.” You bid him farewell as he stumbled out of the hangar. A part of you felt jealous at his ability to sleep right now. 

You…didn’t think you could. Not until all of this was done. 

Tup spoke your name softly, earning your attention, “Are…you and Kix ok?” 

Oh, he’s so sweet. Tup reminded you of a shiny fresh off Kamino, overly respectful, overly polite and overly shy. You hoped that with more experience, he’d break out of the shell, learn that you could be a friend, not just his doctor. 

You gave him a tired yet genuine smile, “We are, just needed some rest and time to breathe.”

The trooper nodded before looking over at Dogma, “Hey, Dogma, isn’t there something you need to tell our good doctor?”

The other trooper flinched before he nodded, “Listen, Doc…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things on the field.” His dark brown eyes were filled with clear sorrow and regret. His apology surprised you, but you appreciated it nonetheless.

“How’s your jaw?” You asked, crossing your arms. 

“Hardcase has a strong right hook.” He mumbled, looking away ashamed, “But it's fine…”

With a sigh you approached and put a hand on his shoulder, “It's not the worst that's been said to me.” you wanted to laugh at his surprised look but remained calm, “Apology accepted.”

He slumped his shoulders and let out a relieved sigh. 

“Got it!” Fives practically cheered, causing a trooper on a platform to visibly jump. The ARC trooper gave the scanner to you quickly before he dashed to Jesse’s side to help him with the console.

You looked over the gadget and began to toy with it silently. After a few minutes, the tablet responded to your touch easily. Wordlessly you stood and raised it to Dogma. 

After a press on the screen, a fan of light went over the confused trooper. He paused, looking at you, “Doc…?” 

The screen blinked, and on it, was an outline of his body. Next to it were values. 

Blood pressure. Heart rate. Blood count. Adrenal levels. Liver enzymes. Nerve response time. Bone density. Hours of sleep.

All important values in terms of health and wellbeing. On the outline there were indicators and when you pressed the screen, there was more information. You pressed the area of his jaw, exactly were Hardcase had clocked him. 

“Are you sore where Hardcase hit you?” you asked him and he nodded. After his answer, you perked up happily, knowing the scanner worked. However, there was another indicator in his head. 

When you pressed it, the information was…off. 

To test it, you scanned Fives, only to get the same result. Then Jesse, then Tup. All of them had the same result.

ANOMALY: right orbital floor, parietal and temporal intersection

Huh…weird….

[downundergarfield]

Support classes reaction to reader getting jealous? Like the merc is getting a lot of attention from like idfk a group of women getting gas at a gas station and reader is just like : |

Support classes react to a reader getting jealous!

It's something to think about, so keep these three men In awkward situations, I know you like to watch it.

Medic It smelled of blood and meat. This is not surprising, because you spent time with your favorite psychiatric doctor. The man was collecting someone's insides in a container. Fortunately for him, this someone will not wake up, it will not cause problems. You were sitting with him, on the lookout. The door, the existence of which you did not even know, opened with an unpleasant creak. Ludwig yelped, covering his crime with his back, you slowly approached him. "-Oh, there you are, Dr. Doe! I've been looking for you everywhere! And you, of course, were here, well, how else! You are a real doctor, a real master of your path!" This girl was making eyes at Ludwig from the very beginning. And of course she fell for his fake name. "- uh… well… Actually, I'm busy." "- of course, of course! I understand, I don't dare to distract you, I just would like to spend a little more time with you. You're leaving soon…and we would…you know… We could have done something in my office." She was already snuggling up to him and running her finger along his chest, but you intervened, speaking to her in a completely unfriendly tone "- Dr. Doe doesn't need a secretary for his job." You spoke up, looking at her angrily. Obviously, you're jealous, which only made Ludwig worry more "- Fräulein, actually, I have a girlfriend" The unpleasant personality changed dramatically in her face, obviously, she saw her plans crumble into thousands of pieces right before her eyes "- Oh, is that so? I was hoping it was just a friend of yours. Well, I think I'll go. I have urgent matters to attend to.." The girl hurries to the exit. Before leaving, she throws a tearful glance in the direction of the Medic "you broke my heart, Dr. Doe-" She waves her hair and locks the door. You can feel Ludwig exhaling all the accumulated air in his lungs. And how anger boils inside you, rising to your face. "- Gott sei Dank…" "- WHAT A SLU-" "- shh. She's gone, but that's half the tro-. " "-I really hope she doesn't look at you anymore." You interrupted him with a frustrated face. "-…Of course not! I only love you, and some girl won't change my mind. Besides, she doesn't have such a beautiful body like you." He puts his arm around your waist and then looks at the pile of organs in the container. "-Ve still need to get zese organs out unnoticed.." You nod. Yeah, he's damn right.

Sniper The brainy figure shakes while his van hurriedly drives along a deserted road. It was unbearably hot outside, so Mick was left wearing only his vest. Anything is better than his entire working form. You were steaming in just a T-shirt and shorts. On the other hand, you enjoyed each other's appearance. "- need t` refuel." "- alright!" You're moving on, to the nearest gas station. And fortunately, it appears soon. You pull into the gas station, noticing a pink mini-bus next to one of the gas pumps. Girls in swimsuits were hanging around. You're tense. "- what is it?" "- bet it's just a busload of prostitutes." You were silent for a minute, but Mick interrupted the silence by opening the door. You jumped out after him. He inserted the refueling gun and looked at his watch. It seems that no one noticed you and was not going to bother you, so you relaxed. "- I'm going to get some water."

He nodded curtly, and you walked away past the noisy girls. They smelled of a disgusting cloying perfume. Disgustingly feminine music was playing from their bus. The disgusting pink color irritated your nerves, but you didn't say anything. ----

In your hands were bottles of cold, even icy water and one ice block. There were no girls in sight, thank God, but when you approached the van, it became clear to you where they had gone. The Sniper did a good job, he didn't give them any attention, even if the girls climbed under his vest. He beat those hands painfully, but did not give an answer. "- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??!" The girls looked at you like a flock of seagulls. "- Not every guy at the gas station is lonely man, NOW LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!!" "- you managed to snatch a gorgeous male~" One of the girls blurted out, poking you in the nose and they left, chattering something in squeaky voices. Mick exhaled, growling. You patted him on the back. " 'm sorry…" It seems he felt a lot of guilt for this situation "- it's not your fault, Mickey, they just need a rich guy who can pay them all." "- I know… but I'm sorry…anyway." You pat him on the back again, comforting him. He smiles warmly and is clearly calming down. "- thank you, sheila." "- no worries. Would you like a popsicle?"

Spy It was a hot Friday evening, even stuffy. You had a long weekend ahead of you. And of course the Spy wouldn't be the Spy if he didn't decide to spend his weekend with a glass of fine wine. You went with him, and he immediately warned you that there could be quite rich people there, who often turn up their noses so high that they don't see people under them. You said you'd be careful with him and he smiled warmly, scratching the top of your head. The Frenchman finished styling your hair while you picked out your best clothes. He praised your costume/dress and you finally came out. When you arrived at the liquor store, you admired its beauty. It was neatly built of a dark-grade of some kind of wood, the logs were hewn and beautiful patterns were neatly burned on them. When you went inside, a rather pleasant smell of wood and wine hit your nose. You glanced at the spy and he looked confident and pleased. You walked between the shelves for a long time and every time you were amazed at the number of wines that generally happen in this damn world. A note of unpleasant bitter feeling settled in your chest when a buxom lady in a black ball gown and curly hair approached your man and began to ask about something. "- you look like a person who understands this, what kind of wine can you recommend?" To your indignation, the Spy answered her, consulted her, communicated with a warm smile. You're not used to seeing him like this. Maybe he is callous and tired only in front of his colleagues? It's because they're all men in a row, isn't it? Or maybe the smell of wine just hit him in the head and that was enough for intoxication? It didn't bother you at all. When the girl left, thanking the Spy for the consultation, you pulled the sleeve of his suit. He understood everything from your displeased face. "- oh, don't do that, Mon chéri, you know that I only love you. The lady just needed advice." He gently pats you on the cheek and the feeling of his gloves on your skin more or less soothe you. "- let's not linger here." "- well, bien Mon amour, I just chose what to take~.

[imaginedisish]

Rebellion - Lies (Ben Solo x Reader) (Star Wars TROS) Part 1

A/N: HEYYYY GUYS OMG!!! So this is my first fanfic in a pretty long time. I haven’t written since June I think. I’m so sorry I’ve been gone...BUT I’M BACK!!! AND I’M HERE WITH A STAR WARS IMAGINE :) I really hope you guys like it. I’m a little rusty, so I’m sorry! I hope you guys enjoy though :) Also, I’ll write for any character, so please don’t hesitate to request. ENJOY!!!! (ps yes the title is based on an Arcade Fire song)

Summary: You (the reader) have an incredibly strong force connection with Ben Solo. You two grew close, training together, constantly being together. It was once you and he that created balance in the galaxy. However, what happens now that Ben is chasing after Rey? jealous!reader. 

Warnings: This is a TROS world!!!! So please be aware of spoilers! Language, that’s about it...

Word Count: 2,163

Part 1:

The ground beneath you is cold and harsh. Rocks and rubble poke relentlessly against your skin. Your eyes open slowly. You don’t know exactly where you are, but the room is large. It almost feels like a cave. Stone walls surround you. It’s dark. There’s something in the distance. You squint, and realize it’s a silhouette. Within a second, you recognize who it is. You knew the shape of his body like the back of your hand. 

It was Ben Solo. 

You push yourself up. “B-Ben,” Your voice is hoarse. You come up to your knees, brushing the pebbles and such off of your arms. You feel so weak. Your head throbs in pain. 

Your knees buckle as you attempt to stand up, practically sending you straight back down to the ground. Something makes you feel as though Ben needs you, so you power through the pain. Something wasn’t right. There was palpable tension in the room. It was almost as if the force was telling you something. 

Something evil was here.

Ben feels so close, yet so far. “Ben,” You call out, much louder this time. But there’s no response. You walk closer to him. Suddenly, another figure reveals itself. The figure stands in front of Ben. 

“You are weak, like a child! Wasted ability and potential!” The figure’s voice is familiar. It's filled with a hatred you had heard before, possibly in a dream, or a voice in your head. 

A voice that once beckoned you to the darkness…

“No,” you whisper. It was Palpatine. His face is clear now. The man’s wrinkles are deep, his eyes  are dark, filled with malevolence, and sunken in. “Ben!” 

You’re running towards the two of them now, but you aren’t getting any closer. He and Palpatine seem to be moving farther and farther into the distance. You feel so helpless. Palpatine extends a hand out towards Ben. 

Almost instantly, Ben rises up into the air. You reach for your light saber, pulling it out of its holder. It ignites as you continue to charge forward, its yellow light shining brightly in the dark room. 

“I will end the Skywalker line once and for all!” Palpatine’s voice echoes against the ancient stone walls, sending chills down your spine.

You extend your hand out, hoping to to use the force to push Palpatine against the throne that stood behind him, but it doesn’t work. You’re stuck, powerless, forced to watch the man you love die. It feels as though you are trapped behind a wall of glass, or as if there’s some barrier that you can’t cross. You continue running nevertheless, refusing to give up. 

Ben rises higher in the air. Palpatine seems to be using the force to pull something out of Ben. It was white and bright. Then it hits you. You know exactly what Palpatine is doing. That’s why he tricked Ben into joining him.

“His life force,” You say, stopping in your tracks. 

“Ben!” You scream, wishing that Palpatine could hear you and possibly drop Ben in the process. 

“I know you’re here girl,” His voice reaches you. “But there’s nothing you can do. You’re powerless!” Palpatine cackles, his evil laughter makes the walls shake. Rubble travels down the walls. 

Palpatine grows stronger and stronger as each second goes by. But there’s nothing you can do. His face begins to gain color, and his wrinkles begin to disappear. His fingers take shape. He’s become human again. 

Suddenly, Ben falls to the ground. 

You begin to run towards Palpatine and Ben again. You’re quickly realize that you’re able to travel towards the Ben this time. Now that Palpatine had gotten what he wanted, there was nothing you could do to stop him. The damage had already been done.  

You reach the foot of the throne, and crash down on your knees next to Ben. You move him so that he lays in your lap. You run your hands through his dark black hair. 

“B-Ben, I-I’m so sorry,” You stutter as tears fall down your cheeks. 

“You failed him just as your grandfather failed Anakin. Just as your parents failed you,” Palpatine says as he approaches you. “You never even told the boy you loved him. Such a shame. You know, you would’ve lived with this guilt for centuries, just as Obi Wan Kenobi had before you. Yet, you were too stupid and naive to recognize this is all just…”

Your eyes flicker open. 

A dream. 

Palpatine’s whisper floats around your room. You’re in your bed. You instinctively reach over to the other side, but there’s no one there. Ben hadn’t been there in months. You wanted nothing more than to be reunited with him. You missed him. 

Before the First Order, before Luke had betrayed Ben, you and Ben were friends. You were connected through the force from birth. The connection was strong and intense. It didn’t take long to realize why you were connecting with him. After all, Ben was a Skywalker, and you were a Kenobi. 

Ben told Luke of your powers, and Luke took you from your home planet to train you. Luke had told you that you belonged with the Jedi, that you belonged with Ben. He said that the force had chosen you two to keep balance within the galaxy and the force.

But that was never a question for you. From the moment you made your first connection with Ben, you knew you were destined to rule the galaxy together. You had always felt as though, together, you could serve the galaxy and make your grandfathers proud. 

However, ever since the girl had come out of no where, out of thin air, Ben had been gone. You longed for him. More than all else, you feared for his life. Palpatine had been slipping into your dreams almost every night. You would talk to Ben through the force after each dream, but lately he failed to connect back. 

You sit up, and swing your legs over to the side so that you can sit on the edge of the bed.

“Ben,” you whisper, hoping to get through to him. 

“(Y/N),” Ben responds. Your heart flutters in your chest. It had been weeks since you had last heard his voice. But you can’t see his face. You feel a hand rest against your shoulder. You whip your head around to look behind you. 

There he was. It was Ben.

You take a deep breath. “You’re here.”

“I promised you I wouldn’t be gone forever. I meant that,” Ben says, a small smile playing at his lips. You stand up and run over to him, crashing into his arms the second you get the chance. Your head presses into his chest. You inhale, taking in his scent. You feel like you’re home. 

He isn’t wearing his First Order uniform. When he was with you, he was never Kylo Ren, he was always the Ben Solo you knew and came to love. He wore a long sleeved black shirt, scrunched up around his elbows, exposing his lower arms, and loose black pants. His hair was still long, just as it always had been. You pull apart from his chest to get a look at his face. His dark brown eyes glimmer in the light, and his smile stretches across his lips. But you can’t smile back. You begin to think about her; the girl you saw him extend his hand out to in your dreams and visions. You knew it was true. He had feelings for her. 

And he was losing his feelings for you. 

In truth, Ben had never confirmed his feelings for you. There was never a conversation about a relationship, or romance. You had always just enjoyed each other’s connection and company. It was clear there was something there, but you never verbally communicated those feelings with each other. 

That, of course, doesn’t mean you never wanted to. You thought every day about expressing your love for him. Your connection had always been strong enough that you felt as though he already knew without talking about it, but you wanted to tell him yourself. 

You continue on. “I thought you might not come back. You’re so wrapped up in-,”

Ben cuts you off, “Her?”

“You asked her to join you, but not me?” You move further away from him. “Explain that. Explain that to me.” There’s a familiar feeling in your gut that you’ve felt before. It’s a fire, a burning sensation that fills you with anger. You had been told throughout your life to ignore those feelings. But now it’s impossible to. 

“I chased after her because of Palpatine, (Y/N). He tricked me. You know that better than anyone else. I didn’t mean to leave you.” 

“But you did,” You respond. “You left me after all we’ve been through together. I’ve been here for you longer than she has. Why her, Ben? Why?” 

Ben shakes his head. “It’s not that simple, you don’t under-,”

“Understand? I don’t understand? You promised me forever, and then you went chasing after her, Ben. You and I are supposed to bring balance the galaxy. I’m supposed to lead you to the light. Hell, I’ve never stopped calling you Ben. I’ve called you Ben from the beginning, and you’ve never stopped me once. I know you, and she doesn’t,” You say, your voice filled with anger. You were channeling the very energy Luke and everyone else in your life had warned you not to engage with. But you didn’t care. It was how you felt. 

He steps closer to you. “I’m sorry. That’s why I’m here. I’m going to Exogol, too. I’m ending everything. When it’s all over, you and I can join the Resistance. All of this will be behind us. We can be happy again, (Y/N). ” 

You shake your head. “You can’t go to Exogol. My visions, my dreams, you die there, Ben. You can’t,” You plead. You know that if he goes, it could be the end.  

No. It will be the end. You had seen it a million different times and a million different ways. He couldn’t escape Palpatine, there was no way he could ever do that. Palpatine would kill him, just as he had done in every vision you had ever had. 

“I need to end this, (Y/N). I need to do what my grandfather couldn’t. My old saber is gone. I’ve left the First Order. It’s done. Now I have to finish this,” Ben says. 

Tears fill your eyes, and you fall into Ben’s arms. You sob into his chest. 

“Shh, (Y/N). It’s all going to be okay. Please don’t worry. I’m going to be fine,” Ben says as his fingers comb gently through your hair.

He would never listen to you. He was far too headstrong; that was always how he was. Ben always wanted to do things his way. Even growing up, he handled training differently than the other padawans. He was always so critical of himself too. Because of all this, you had learned how to talk him off the ledge, but this time was different. There was no talking him out of this one. In his mind, he was already on Exogol, he was already killing Palpatine. 

“Please let me go with you Ben. You can’t go alone,” You say into his chest. 

“I need to do this myself, (Y/N),” Ben says back. 

You lift your head from his chest. “Ben, if you go alone, you’re going to die. I need you to understand that you are not making it out of the fight if you go in alone,” You explain. 

Ben shakes his head in disagreement. “I will. I’ll take him on by myself.” Ben pauses, looking down at you. 

“Then I need to tell you something Ben. I need to tell you something I’ve always wanted to,” You say to him. It was time. You had waited far too long to tell him how you really felt. 

“Don’t. Please don’t say anything. I’m going to make it out of this. You can tell me after all of this is done,” Ben says back. 

This wasn’t right. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. You had a bad feeling about this. You knew something was going to go wrong. 

An idea comes to you. You know exactly how to protect him. “Let me go to Exogol with you. I’ll stay on the ship, and I won’t go into the fight with you. But please, let me come with you to Exogol,” You beg, staring deeply into Ben’s eyes. Ben looks away. 

“Fine.” 

“And promise me that if you need help, you’ll call for-,”

Ben interrupts you. “I won’t need help.” 

“You’re being stubborn. If you need help, promise you’ll call for me, please,” You say to him, hoping you’ll be able to sway his opinion. 

“I promise.”

To be continued…

Part two

Tags:

@w0nder-marie​ @loveablecharacterxreader​

[ashxllbey]

Starman - Poe Dameron x fem!Reader - Chapter 5: Just What I Needed

GIF by mirkokosmos

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Word count: ±10.7k Warnings: mild language, canon-typical death and violence, mention of canon-typical kidnapping, Poe being clueless.

Everything was quiet.

Y/N had always enjoyed the silence.

Sometimes, it said more than words could. The silence was often what preceded a fight. The proverbial calm before the storm, when everything was quiet in the cockpit of her TIE fighter right before she jumped out of hyperspace. During those moments of silence, she was scared, focused, and driven.

And other times, like this one, the silence was a blessing she basked in.

After walking for a few moments, taking long strides through the Kuatian forest and (somehow) avoiding a drunken fall, the woman had found herself in another clearing. It was smaller than the one she had left and far enough from the raging party. Or maybe she was too drunk to hear it now. It was a possibility.

Her slightly wobbly legs had carried her to the middle of the clearing, where a fallen tree laid, a wooden putrefied corpse surrounded by green, glossy grass.

She slumped on the dead tree with a sigh, eyes staring at the sky. It was a clear night, and she could see the stars. Some of them she had probably visited, others she had only flown by during the years.

Along with silence, Y/N had always loved space, too. The two often went hand in hand, except when you were a soldier. Space turned into a battlefield and, more often than not, into a cemetery.

That was why she was so adamant about separating her everyday life from her life as a soldier. When she landed on solid ground, she wanted to be Y/N. To leave the pain, the screams, the adrenaline up in the sky, with the fuming, charred remains of the ships, both allied and enemy.

But of course, nothing could ever be so simple. You couldn't separate the job from the person, not when your job was your entire life.

But she had hoped that this time, maybe… People would see beyond the pilot.

Another sigh escaped her lips. Some people did, of course. Klana, bless her soul, did. Skylen too, evidently. Most of the people on base did, when she thought about it. But people like Tarsen… They hated the pilot, and they hated the woman. 

Of course, she knew she couldn't — and shouldn't try to — please everyone. It didn't make it easier, though. Being hated on never was. She had done all she could to be liked. Why couldn't it be enough?

The stars didn't give her any answer. They kept on shining silently in the distance, soft beacons of light highlighting the midnight blue painting.

Suddenly, she heard a soft rustle, and her head snapped to the side, now on high alert. Even inebriated, she was still aware that something could very much be out to get her. She had no idea what the local fauna was made of. Kriff. She hadn't taken her blaster with her either. But someone would have warned her if dangerous creatures were out there, right?

Her sudden panic proved useless when she saw what was responsible for the sound: a little orange ball.

"BeeBee? What are you doing here?" She called out to the droid, who simply rolled toward her, leaving the strands of grass lying down behind him. When he reached her, he beeped quizzically. Y/N chuckled softly.

"I'm alright, little guy. Don't worry."

She turned her head back up, glancing at the stars once again, and the droid tilted his head as well. The -haired pilot had momentarily forgotten whose droid it was. Said little ball nudged at her leg, and she smiled.

"It's beautiful out there," the pilot whispered. 

"That it is."

Y/N yelped in surprise and turned around, finding Poe standing behind her, hands furrowed in the pockets of his leather jacket and hazel eyes fixed on the woman. She rolled her eyes with the playfulness of her drunken state.

"General. You really have a thing for sneaking up on me, huh?"

He answered with a chuckle and walked up to her, sitting on the tree. 

"I told you not to call me that, Thunderbird."

Y/N gave him a shrug. Hey, he couldn't blame her for letting it slip up. He was her leader.

Even if her vision was slightly blurry around the edges, Y/N noticed he looked concerned or tired. Maybe both.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, definitely worriedly. The rookie shrugged once again.

"I needed a breather. It's been a while since I've hung out with so many people at once."

It wasn't entirely wrong, but it wasn't the entire truth either. Poe obviously picked up on that, but she fought back with a question of her own before he could ask her something else.

"How did you find me?"

BeeBee beeped an apology, and she glanced down at him. His little head was bowed down in shame. He was more human than many humans she had seen, that was for sure. It made her laugh.

"I'm not blaming you, sweetheart. I just want to know."

He perked up a bit, and the woman gently rubbed the top of his head, a gesture he answered with a happy beep.

"I asked him to track your commlink when you disappeared. These things come with a built-in tracker we use to locate the lost pilots. I should have told you earlier."

Yikes. Y/N had thought she could escape him and the others. She wasn't mad at him for being worried. If anything, it was nice of him to care. And realistically, she had known she couldn't run away from her problems forever. But she could get a head start.

They stood in silence, though Y/N could feel Poe twitching by her side. He wasn't one to stay silent. He talked a lot, she had noticed. But it wasn't annoying, at least, not yet. He wasn't babbling nonsense; he always had something helpful to say. How he did it, she had no idea. Undoubtedly one of the reasons why he was the General. 

"What's wrong? I can't help you out if you don't tell me. And it's my duty as your squad leader to take care of you. Is it Tarsen?"

Y/N broke her silent admiration of the sky and bowed her head slightly, letting out a deep sigh.

"Yes. I mean, no. I mean, yes, partially. Tarsen is part of the problem. I just…"

She licked her lips and looked down at BeeBee, who nudged her leg again encouragingly. Even he could sense how uncomfortable she felt.

"What do you mean, part of the problem? Did someone else try to talk you into leaving? Kriff, I'm going to have their heads. I can't believe-" 

"Poe, stop, that's not it."

He stopped mid-sentence, mouth agape. And then, Poe's brain seemed to process what he had heard, and he frowned.

"What is it, then?"

He was either really curious or really concerned. Probably a little bit of both. And Y/N was steadily growing more uncomfortable. One, because she wasn't good at expressing her feelings or her thoughts in general, and two, because it was Poe Dameron she was talking to. Even though she knew he genuinely cared because he was that nice, she couldn't help but feel slightly overwhelmed. The General, leader of the Resistance, who took on Palpatine's fleet, had better things to do than listening to her existential crisis.

…Or not, apparently.

"Well, I… Don't take it the wrong way, okay? I just… I appreciate what you did earlier. Standing up for me."

He shrugged and frowned.

"Yeah, of course. You don't even have to thank me for that."

She bit her lip. That was going to be more difficult than she had expected.

"I know, I know. But just… Don't. If it happens again, please, don't say anything."

He stared at her, confused, hazel eyes searching her face for something. She either had something on her face (and she was sure she didn't), or he was looking to find any trace of humor or doubt. He found none. And that seemed to confuse him even more.

"He shouldn't have said those things to you. That's not how we handle things around here."

Poor Poe looked genuinely lost, and BeeBee hummed in approval, breaking into a series of hurried beeps to voice his thoughts on the matter.

"Yeah, exactly. Tarsen is a- WOW! Buddy! Language! I swear AreToo is the worst influence you've had."

Y/N chuckled. The little ball was such a sweetheart. She affectionately patted his head again.

"I know. I agree. Tarsen is an idiot. But I still stand by what I said. While I appreciate your concern, it just… Trust me, Poe, it won't help. Not in the long run."

He stayed silent, but she could feel she had his full attention. She felt it but didn't see it, mainly because she was too shy to look into his eyes. He was an intense person, and his gaze was, too. The woman wasn't sure she would be able to give him some insight if he was looking at her like he often did. Poe had piercing eyes and the uncanny ability to look at your soul.

Or maybe she was just very drunk.

"I've been there before. People hating on me for no reason. And one thing I know for sure; respect, even on the most basic level, has to be earned. If you order him to respect me, he will do so publicly. But he will never trust me or give me the chance to prove to him that I'm worthy of that respect. I'll be someone's protege to him, and that's not what I want. I just want to fit in, not stand out. And I want to prove to everyone that I deserve to be respected, not because you said so, but because I showed them."

The silence stretched out between them as Poe silently mulled over her words. Y/N looked up at the sky again. It was hers for the taking. An endless opportunity to show her worthiness. 

"I'm sorry. I hadn't thought about it like that."

That was definitely not what she had been expecting him to say.

She turned a curious gaze at him and found the pilot staring in the distance. He shook his head and chuckled darkly.

"I'm an idiot."

BeeBee piped up in protest and Y/N nodded vigorously — something she immediately regretted. Dang, the Garrmorl had hit her hard.

"I'm with your droid. You had good intentions, Poe."

"Yeah, well, what's the saying again? The road to hell is paved with good intentions. It makes sense. I mean, what you just told me. Not that stupid saying. Actually, it's not stupid either, since it's true, but anyway."

Never mind, she was taking back her previous statement; he was babbling. But Y/N was sure that was due to the alcohol in his veins. He was sitting close enough to her that she could smell Jawa Juice on him. The woman imagined he could do the same.

"I would love nothing more but to tell you what happened to you in the First Order won't happen again. For most things, it won't. I don't plan on wearing a mask, for example," he added, and Y/N snorted. "But you're right. They're soldiers, and they've seen too much. You need to spend some time with them and show them who you truly are. And then, they'll come around. Hopefully. They better come around. Or I'll kick their asses."  

Y/N laughed again, and Poe chuckled as well. She was slowly starting to relax. He really had outstanding people skills.

As he started stargazing again, letting the silence settle in, the woman took the opportunity to study him for a bit. He really was handsome with his high cheekbones, his dark skin, and messy, tousled hair. Even though he had recently shaved, the subtlest hint of his five o'clock shadow was peaking through. His hazel eyes were lightened by the bright lights of the stars and appeared almost green.

Kriff, she understood why he was such a Poster boy for the Resistance. He had it all.

No wonder she felt overwhelmed. He was awesome.

And too quiet for it not to be suspicious.

"You're staring."

Oops.

He turned his face toward her, a big grin plastered on his lips. Y/N rolled her eyes to save appearances because yes, she had been staring.

"No way. I was looking at your jacket. It's nice."

Poe chuckled, clearly not convinced, but he was gentleman enough not to mention it.

"This old thing? It has seen better days. But I like it. I like yours, too. It's too big for you, but it suits you. It also reminds me of someone I once knew… He had an almost identical one."

The pilot shook his head and pushed the memory away.

It was indeed too big for her. The sleeves were too long for her arms and she had to roll them up. The main piece had obviously been intended to be worn by someone bulkier than her. A man, perhaps. She wasn't too sure. The only thing she knew was that she liked it, too.

"It's the only thing I still have from whatever was my life before I joined the Order. I hid it right before I left, and when I ran away, I went back to get it. I thank the stars every day that it wasn't stolen."

Her only possession. It wasn't much, but it was something. The exact philosophy of the Resistance. They shared that mindset, at least.

"You never talked about how you joined them," he finally asked after a moment of silence.

Y/N hesitated. It wasn't something she was particularly comfortable sharing. But Poe deserved to know. He had been nothing but kind and understanding, and he was her leader, after all. If anyone needed to know the full story, it was him. If he trusted her, then maybe others would naturally follow…

"I hope you have some time on your hands, General Dameron."

He smiled brightly at her and shifted on the makeshift bench, turning his whole body toward her. BB-8 leaned against the tree by his father's side, his little head perking up.

"Bring it on, Thunderbird."

————————————--------------------------------

The sun was scorching hot.

Or, more specifically, everything was burning.

A grunt of pain escaped the woman as she contracted her muscles, trying to get them to move, even by an inch. But her whole body — ironically enough, considering how hot it was around her— felt frozen on the spot.

She groaned and tried again. Now that her body was slipping out of unconsciousness, she was more aware of her surroundings. She felt the heat of the sun —suns?— on her back, grilling her through her jacket. Her cheek was pressed roughly against the coarse ground. She twitched slightly and felt millions of tiny balls digging into her skin.

Sand.

Great. She was in a kriffing desert.

With a tremendous effort, she managed to roll on her side and coughed weakly. The woman opened her mouth to spit some sand, but she couldn't. Her throat felt drier than the desert she was in. Her head was pounding with one hell of a headache, and everything was spinning.

How had she ended up here?

…And who the heck was she?

Like a lizard whose body heat had returned after being idle in the cold night, she managed to gather enough strength to push her body upward. It took her a moment, but she finally stood up. The headache instantly became worse, and she almost fell back down, catching herself at the last second by taking a step forward. She blinked the blurriness of her vision away and looked around her. The air seemed to be vibrating under the heat. The suns weren't really high in the sky, but it was already scorching hot. She was near a canyon, gigantic walls of stones coming out of the sand. 

The part she was on meandered slightly through the valley of stone, and she could see something in the distance. A city, maybe. That, or she was hallucinating.

She felt like dying with every step she took. The high sides of the canyon weren't oriented well enough to shield the suns, and they shone down on her with the strength of summer.

By the time she had made it through the canyon, her hair was sticking to her face; she was wheezing and could barely breathe. But what she had seen earlier was, indeed, a small town.

Made of white, round-shaped houses, the village was tiny, maybe four or five hut-like lodgings. But it seemed inhabited.

Great.

The five hundred meters separating her from the houses suddenly felt like an infinite distance. The woman fell against the rocky surface, catching her breath, the air wheezing in and out of her soar throat. 

She was so close... but so tired, too. Her eyelids felt heavier than the air. The woman felt trapped. In the heat, in her own body, on this damn planet.

She was going to die there.

"Keep going."

At this point, she didn't know whether she was hallucinating and hearing someone speak to her or if she had just talked to herself. The second option seemed less probable considering how dry her throat was. But whoever the voice in her head was, it got her to take another step, and then another, until she finally reached her destination.

No one was outside. The woman was afraid it would be deserted. She couldn't walk much farther. She fell against a white hut, almost yelling in pain at how hot it felt. But at this point, she didn't care — even if she had wanted to step away from the wall, she wouldn't have been able to. Her muscles felt stiff.

"Hey!"

She turned around. Behind her, a young woman was standing, dressed in white clothes and a brown braid. She was carrying something she immediately dropped upon seeing the intruder.

"What are you doing?!"  She yelped. Her hand flew to her belt, and she raised a small blaster, aiming with shaky hands. The tired woman held hers up as best as she could.

"Not armed..."

She slumped back against the wall with a wince. Her head was killing her. She collapsed, falling to her knees.

"Ectel, why did you- MAKER! What happened?!"

Another voice joined them, but she couldn't really focus on it anymore. Everything was spinning. The suns in the sky were dancing and the sand suddenly felt like it would be a great bed. At least, she had made it to her destination. She would die knowing she had completed her last task...

The voice of the second woman screamed something that sounded like a whisper. As the woman blacked out, she heard the other voice again.

"Rest for now."

She did.

The first thing she noticed when she woke up was the cool air on her skin.

It had replaced the heat of the suns. 

Her head was still pounding, but it was bearable, now. And instead of the brazing grittiness of the sand, she could feel something soft resting against her skin.

…A blanket?

She tried to open her eyes but her eyelids felt as if they were sewn shut. She groaned and immediately, she heard a shuffle next to her, followed by muffled voices.

"Is she awake?"

"I don't know!"

She knew these voices… She had heard them before. But where? Where was she? What had happened?

Finally, she managed to muster enough strength to pry her eyes open. The room was bathed in a dim light that was bright enough to make her feel as if millions of needles were suddenly piercing her eyeball. She shut them tight again with a grunt.

"Ectel! Close the door!"

More shuffling, followed by a soft sound. Behind her eyelids, the glaring light softened, and the woman tried her luck again. This time, he managed to keep her eyes open long enough to blink away the blurriness of her vision. Her first reflex was to look down at her body. She had been stripped down from her clothes and dressed in a soft, white tunic. She softly turned her head. She was inside one of the huts, no doubt. It wasn't spacious, probably five by five meters, under a dome-shaped roof. The walls on the inside were as white as they were on the outside, but the temperature was much more bearable. Two pillars supported the roof and various pieces of furniture had been carved into the clayish-looking material the hut was made of. The young woman lay on a bed in a rounded alcove, and her eyes finally stopped on a silhouette near the door that had been shut earlier. The young woman who had pointed her blaster at her. The said weapon was still in her hand but she didn't look scared anymore, merely curious.

"Are you okay?"  The voice asked again, and the woman tilted her head back. Sitting slightly behind her was an older woman. She had brown hair tied into two low braids twisted together and wore similar clothes to whom the young woman assumed was her daughter. She grimaced and sat down on the bed, earning a yelp from the older woman.

"Wow! Go easy, Miss. Maker knows how long you've been out 'ere. Here, have some water."

She handed her a bowl full of the clear liquid, and her guest was quick to drink it all. Her throat silently thanked her.

Silence settled around the three of them. She winced slightly as some light was peering through one of the windows and shining directly in her eyes, but she was slowly getting used to it. She noticed several details her first swoop of the place hadn't revealed, like a carved face in the pillar she was now facing. Undoubtedly made by a child, it represented some sort of… Loth-cat? Who knew.

"So… What the hell were you doing out here in the sun?"  The younger woman - Ectel - suddenly asked. Her mother shrieked.

"Ectel! Language! That's no way to speak to a guest."

"'S fine,"  the aforementioned guest managed to croak out. 

Speaking was torture, even with the freshwater she had just drunk. No doubt she had been severely dehydrated during her little nap in the sand.

"I don't… remember. Where am I?"  She asked again. Her memories were one big chunk of darkness. She could feel some details but couldn't bring them to form a coherent image in her mind. What had happened…?

"You're on Tatooine. Right outside Mos Eisley. A couple of kilometers west of the town. We don't usually have visitors around here."

The older woman frowned and then shook her head.

"Ah, doesn't matter. We couldn't leave you out here to dry out in the sun, heh? Ectel, put the gun away. She's not dangerous."

Her daughter reluctantly did as she was told, sliding the blaster on her belt. Tatooine… That sounded familiar. She remembered a couple of things about the planet. She definitely had heard of it before.

"I saw a ship land this morning,"  she then added, nodding to the side toward what the newcomer assumed was the canyon she had just walked through to get there.  "Maybe that's where she came from, mom."

She turned to the local with a quizzical look on her face.

"But then why would I wake up face down in the sand?"

————————————--------------------------------

"Wait a second," Poe interrupted.

He had been quiet until then, hazel eyes focused on Y/N with the same intensity she had been trying to avoid shyly earlier on. It was evident he was invested in her story, but now, he looked confused.

"You mean they DUMPED YOU out of the ship and left you there?" The pilot asked, and BeeBee screeched indignantly. Y/N laughed at the droid and nodded.

"Yep. They landed on Tatooine, thought it'd be a good idea to leave me there while I was passed out, and took off. I'm not sure they wanted me to die, though, because I was unharmed and very close to a small village. But to this day, I still don't know why I ended up there…"

The pilot sighed. She still didn't know where she was really from, why she had been dumped on Tatooine, who had left her there — so many questions. And no answer in sight. Seven years separated her from the moment she had awakened and now, and she wasn't closer to discovering who she was than she was at that moment. The woman was used to it by now, but sometimes, it made her feel sad. This was one of those times. Poe seemed to notice like he usually did. This was had an empathy level she had never seen before. He leaned forward and gently touched her knee. Y/N looked up, meeting his concerned hazel gaze with her inquisitive one.

"Hey. We will find out. We have access to many resources now that the Senate is on our side. I promise we'll look into it."

She believed him.

A soft smile bloomed on her face. However hard she was racking her brain, she couldn't find one good deed in the few years' worth of memories that would justify her being so lucky. Because she truly was lucky. Lucky to have been saved by Skylen and his squadron, lucky to have Poe Dameron by her side. He was the General, a war hero, he had been through hell and had come back.

And yet, here he was, taking the time of his busy day to listen to her. Staying away from a party to check on her, his new recruit.

If that wasn't team bonding done right, she didn't know what it was.

But she couldn't voice that. Mainly because Poe probably wouldn't understand. To him, it seemed normal, and although she had met him the day before, Y/N knew him well enough already to know he would do the same for every single one of his subordinates. That was just who he was.

And also because she was too drunk to form coherent sentences and he would end up teasing her.

Yup. Not doing it.

He hadn't taken his hand off her knee, but Y/N wasn't bothered by it. Thanks to Klana, she had already gotten used to affectionate gestures.

Which was a stark difference from the violence she had been a victim of during her time in the Order. She couldn't think of one moment where she had been touched gently, even for something as trivial as tapping her on the shoulder to get her to move.

Nothing.

They had dehumanized her partially. She would never forget that.

BeeBee suddenly beeped and Poe took his hand away.

"You're right, buddy! Sorry. I'm used to… Sorry." He chuckled awkwardly.

Oh, she had already noticed he was very tactile. She wasn't offended at all; he did that with everyone, men and women alike, in a friendly way.

Nothing Poe did was to voluntarily offend anyone anyway. 

"It's fine."

He stared at her for a second too long, undoubtedly thanks to his obvious tipsiness, before speaking up again.

"Okay. You were telling me about the way you'd been dumped on Tatooine. Come on, I want to know the rest of the story."

Y/N chuckled and obliged.

————————————--------------------------------

Her name was Y/N Thunderbird.

She had been drinking some more water when the information had come crashing through the invisible barriers of her amnesia like a wild Rancor on the loose. Jumping to her feet —something she had instantly and very deeply regretted— she had screamed it out and the two women had jumped in visible surprise. 

But Y/N was proud of herself for remembering. It wasn't much, but it was something. One of the most important parts of her identity.

In return, her two saviors had shared theirs with her.

Ada and Ectel were their names. Mother and daughter, as she had concluded. They had been living on Tatooine all their lives. When Y/N had asked if it was just the two of them, Ada had leaned forward and whispered that her husband had been killed while fighting for the First Order after being drafted a year ago.

She hadn't dared to ask anything else after that.

Instead, she had profusely thanked the two women for sharing their resources with her. The older woman had waved her off.

"We take care of people. That's what we do. We gotta. Things are dark out there. We must bring some light back into the world."

Y/N had smiled at that.

She was right.

While her daughter was out to tend to their cattle (Y/N didn't know what creature it was), Ada told her about the recent events. The end of the Cold War, the open fight between the newly-formed First Order and the Rebel Alliance, led by General Leia Organa. The entire Galaxy was frozen in fear, head hung low, hoping for better days and that things would pass. The relatively peaceful era they had been living in had come to a brutal end and things had spiraled into a full-blown conflict. Violence had crept back into the everyday life of millions of people. 

The dark look in Ada's eyes as she spoke of the war told Y/N enough about who her allegiance went to. 

"I will never forget what they did to my husband,"  she had said while chopping off some vegetables and dumping them all into a big pot.  "They took him away from us; he died fighting in a war he never wanted. He was a doctor. A man of peace. They switched his medical supplies for a gun and sent him on the battlefield."

The knife was trembling in her hand as she spoke. Y/N put a hand on hers.

"I'm sorry,"  she genuinely said.

Ada had met her eyes with her tired brown ones.

"We all are. At least we have each other. Ectel has me, and I have her. That's all we need. And we don't have much, but it's honest life."

Y/N nodded. They were lucky to have each other.

She didn't even have herself.

Since she didn't remember anything except her name and she had nowhere to go, Ada offered for her to stay. They had an old room her husband used to treat his patients in that could be turned into a bedroom should she want it. In exchange, she would have to help them around the farm. They raised Eopies they would sell to local moisture farms, and the creatures, even though they were peaceful, were a lot of work for two women.

Y/N had immediately accepted.

Despite her initial wariness toward the newcomer, Ectel quickly warmed up to Y/N. They were around the same age, with the teen being two years younger than she was. Y/N had remembered being born in seven ABY. She was delighted she had. Now, she knew of her age — twenty-two. Since she had remembered such crucial pieces of information so quickly, maybe the rest would come back to her?

That night, she had gone to sleep full of hope that her dreams would bring new images of what her life was like.

They didn't. Not that night, or the following one.

A routine had been quick to settle between the three women. Ada was right, it was honest life. Things were quiet. The older woman would sometimes leave on a speeder to Mos Eisley, conducting negotiations with future buyers while her daughter and Y/N took care of the Eopies. The naked quadrupeds were always found in herds and could be incredibly stubborn.

Also, they reeked.

But things were great. Even though her initial enthusiasm had quickly been snuffed out as days went by and her memories didn't come back, Y/N was happy there. She helped her saviors, did her bit, and had even been given a blaster. 

"We have Tusken Raiders around here,"  Ectel had told her.  "And we're all women. We need to defend ourselves."

She had jokingly added that Y/N would better scrap her initials into the butt of the weapon, should she lose her memories again.

Ada had whacked her behind the head with a wooden spoon as Y/N cackled lightheartedly.

Along with her jacket, the gun had become her only possession. No, actually, that wasn't true — she had something else. A necklace.

She had found it while changing back into her clean clothes the day she had woken up. A golden pendant, half the size of her thumb.

"Kriff, you better hide that. It looks old and precious. People might try and steal it."

And she had, putting it back inside her shirt. Now that she knew it was there, she felt like somehow, she knew where it came from. As if she had had it for a long time… Maybe her parents had given it out to her? She liked to think so.

And along with her necklace, she had her leather jacket.

Too big for her, but very resistant and well-made, it had several scratches and a round-shaped print on the left shoulder, as if something used to be sown on there and had been torn off for whatever reason. Y/N liked it very much, even though she couldn't wear it due to the planet's inhumane heat.

————————————--------------------------------

"So you've had the jacket and the necklace for as long as you remember," Poe thought out loud with a pensive look Y/N nodded and took the piece of jewelry out of its hidden place between her breasts. She unclasped it and handed it to her General, who inspected it by holding it between his index finger and thumb, raising it above eye level so the moon could light it.

"Yes. I've had them for at least seven years. Possibly longer. Probably longer."

Poe made an impressed "hmmm" face and handed the necklace back to her. Y/N put it back where it came from. Somehow, the piece of metal had always made her feel safer. It was her good luck charm. She wasn't sure it worked, but hey, she was still alive. Whether that was thanks to the piece of jewelry or she had just gotten lucky was a mystery that would probably be left unsolved.

"I was separated from the jacket when I left for the First Order, but the necklace stayed with me, always," she added. The Order had taken a lot from her, but at least, they had let her keep that. Or maybe they didn't really care about it; it didn't matter.

"And how did you join?"

Y/N sighed. She had to continue her story.

————————————--------------------------------

Seven days.

Seven days of normality.

That's what she had gotten. 

It had been a week since Y/N had become a new member of the Thron household. Both Ada and Ectel had been accommodating. Even though it was evident they loved each other very much, being alone for so long wasn't doing them good. Seeing a fresh face had been beneficial to them. And she was glad she had stumbled across Ectel.

The day had started like any other day she had known so far. She had woken up right before sundown, gotten dressed in one of the white, flowy outfits Ectel had lent her, and gotten to work. The mornings were used to feed the Eopies and take care of them. Right before noon, when the two suns were too high, the two young women would go back inside and cook for Ada who was out in Mos Eisley. Then, in the early afternoon, the older woman would return on the speeder and they would work in the rest of the house.

Except that this time, they didn't.

The suns had started to set and Ada still wasn't back. Ectel wasn't worried, though.

"Sometimes, she has to stay longer. I'll be worried if she's not back at nightfall."

They had cleaned the rest of the house by themselves. Y/N trusted her friend, she did, but she also had a bad feeling about this. 

It checked out a few moments later.

The loud buzzing of the speeder got closer and closer and the brown-haired local punched Y/N in the arm.

"Told you!"

Both women put away the saddle they were working on and greeted Ada.

But the woman didn't park the speeder in its usual spot. Nor did she take the time to store it away properly.

Instead, she all but jumped off and ran toward her daughter. Her face was streaked with fresh tears and she looked utterly panicked.

"Mom? What's wrong?"  Ectel immediately asked, her face now mirroring her mother's fear.

"They're back. They're back, Ectel. I came as fast as I could. A star destroyer entered the atmosphere a few minutes ago. They're raiding Mos Eisley for younglings. It has started again. They're drafting people for the war. They have a register! They know who has children and who doesn't. They… They're gonna come for you!"

She was crying hysterically by then. The strong woman was terrified, and her fear radiated off her whole body. She was shaking, crying, and trembling. 

And Y/N could do nothing but watch as Ectel screamed in terror.

They all knew what it meant.

She started to think, as fast as she could, so fast her head was spinning. She couldn't let that happen. She needed to find something. A solution to help them as they had helped her.

"Both of you, take the speeder and go as far as you can to the next town. It'll buy you some time. I'll hold them back while you hide."

There was an urgency in Ada's voice that left no room for discussion. But yet, Y/N spoke up.

"No. They will find us, and kill you."

"I can't let them take my baby, too!"  Ada screamed, tears streaming down her face.  "They took my husband already. I can't lose her too."

She knew what to do. Y/N took a step forward with teary eyes and put her hand on Ada's cheek.

"You won't."

Turning to Ectel, she took a deep breath and said:

"Go to the basement. Hide there until they're gone. They're looking for a woman in her twenties. They don't know I'm here."

Both women looked at her with confusion in their eyes. In the open field that was the desert, something was approaching, shining under the two setting suns. Like a mirage getting closer.

A transport ship.

They were coming.

"I will take your place, Ectel. But you need to hide. You need to hide and let me do it."

"No!"  She yelled.  "I can't let you do that. You'll die, too."

She was right. The chances for her to make it out alive were slim.

And Y/N was terrified.

But these two women had taken her in, given her a home when she had none, given her a purpose when she had lost hers. They had suffered so much already. Y/N undoubtedly had, too, or she wouldn't have lost her memories and been abandoned on Tatooine. But she didn't remember anything from it. It didn't matter. 

"Please, Ectel. Please. Let me do that for you. I just ask for one thing: hide my jacket and my blaster. I will come back one day and get them. But you need to hide, or they'll take both of us. You have suffered enough. You have helped me enough. Let me help you."

Her voice broke down at the end and tears pooled in her eyes. The deafening sound of the brand-new ship was rowing louder as the troopers approached. They needed to move fast. 

"GO!"  Y/N screamed when she saw Ectel still wasn't moving, and the crying brunette scrambled away. She stopped inside the hut and turned around.

"When you come back, know that your stuff will be hidden under the Eopies' food tank. Please survive, Y/N."

"I promise."

They both knew she probably wouldn't honor it. But Y/N smiled as reassuringly as she could, despite the fear eating at her.

Ectel disappeared inside. 

Y/N sighed softly. The ship was closing in. It was only a matter of seconds before they stopped and took her with them.

"I need you to pretend to be devastated, Ada. Pretend I'm really your daughter. If they don't believe you, they'll kill us all."

The woman crushed her into a tight hug, sobbing into her tunic. Y/N had to shut her eyes tight so as not to spill a tear.

"Thank you. Thank you. I will never be able to repay you for what you're about to do."

Y/N smiled sadly.

"You've done more than enough. You've lost enough to the war. I need to pay you back. Please stay safe. Thank you for everything."

The speeders stopped. The two women were still hugging.

"In the name of the First Order, I hereby declare you have to come with us. You're being drafted. Don't try to resist."

The modulated voice made them break apart, and Y/N turned toward the stormtrooper. Clad in his white uniform, he was wearing a red shoulder pad. Undoubtedly the sign of his higher rank. His hands were tight around the blaster, and his fingers twitched.

"You can go willingly, or we can drag you with us."

Y/N shared a glance with Ada, who ran to the troopers and fell to her knees.

"Please! Not my daughter!"  She sobbed, very convincingly. The woman was quite sure she was pouring the fear she was feeling for her real daughter into her words.

The trooper seemed convinced. He raised his weapon and aimed at Ada.

"Don't make me shoot you, woman. This is an official draft from the First Order. Don't try to resist."

His voice was heavy with warning. He wouldn't repeat himself.

Good thing he wouldn't have to.

Y/N jumped between them, shielding the older woman from the trooper's wrath. He seemed slightly too trigger-happy.

"Don't hurt her! I'll come with you. Please, don't hurt her."

The white helmet cocked to the side as he assessed the situation. Behind him, other troopers were perched on the edge of the open ship, blasters aimed as well. Now was not the time to provoke them too much. Just enough for them to believe the two women were actually related. 

"Please, don't go. I can't lose you too."

Ada was fully sobbing, now. It genuinely broke Y/N's heart.

Why? How could the First Order so cruelly break apart families as they were doing? How could the men under the helmets stay so focused? Didn't they have the slightest hint of empathy? Had their humanity already been brainwashed away?

"It's okay, mom. I'll be okay. I love you,"  she whispered, loud enough so the trooper would hear while dropping to her knees. She took Ada's face between her hands as she mouthed:

"Thank you."

"Okay. That's enough."

The trooper grabbed her by the arm and dragged her away from Ada and into the ship. When Y/N tried to take a step forward, her chest was met with the hard, cold end of his blaster.

"I WILL COME BACK!"  She screamed over the sound of the ship.

Its door shut down on her before she could get an answer.

Everyone was sobbing.

The cargo was filled with young people, mostly children; and they all looked traumatized. Some were still crying; others were staring at the wall, eyes blown with fear.

As for Y/N, she was sitting in a corner, her eyes studying the stormtroopers, neither crying nor completely numb.

They were soon out of Tatooine's atmosphere. Some of them had obviously never left the planet and looked terrified of the unexplored and uncharted infiniteness of space.

Strangely enough, she wasn't.

She felt like she had been in space before. Not just in the ship that had unceremoniously dumped her in the desert, either.

And she knew what stormtroopers were.

Strangely enough too.

Through one of the tiny windows of the ship she was lucky enough to be close to, Y/N saw that they were getting closer to the triangle-shaped and humongous ship. The star destroyer. 

"GET UP!"  One of the stormtroopers barked, and everyone jumped. They did as they were told to and lined up in front of the officer.

"We're going to board on the Finalizer soon. Before we arrive, I want to make two things clear: the First Order will take care of you. It's an honor to have been picked up to serve our Supreme Leader. And secondly… Leave behind every thought you have about leaving. Mutiny is punished by a long and painful death."

Well, wasn't that very motivating?

He walked along the line the recruits had formed. From what Y/N could see, there were about twenty of them, all huddled together. The ship slowed down.

"Now. I want whoever has a special talent to make it known. Do you know how to fly a ship? Hold a blaster? Fix something? Time to let me know. If you're not good at anything, it doesn't matter. If you are, take a step forward when you have to."

He started to list random jobs. Mechanic —a few people took the step, one of the troopers grabbed them by the arms and brought them to one side of the ship. Then, medics.

And then…

"Do any of you lowlives know how to fly?"

Before she could stop herself or even think about why she would even take that step, Y/N stepped forward. Only another guy did so, right next to her. The trooper's huff came out modulated, but very distinct nonetheless.

"You can fly?"

He stared her down while Y/N insulted herself profusely. But there must have been a reason why she had stepped forward. She trusted her gut.

That's all she had now.

"Yes."

He huffed again and the two future pilots were pushed to the side. A trooper was assigned to them and aimed at them, but Y/N ignored him. Through the small window, she could see the inside of the star destroyer.

They were about to land. 

"Hey. I'm Dan."

She turned toward the guy next to her. He was slightly older than her and —Maker forgives her for judging him so quickly— didn't look so bright.

"I don't know about you, but I really don't want to be stuck in a war."

Yeah, well, no one did, idiot. Y/N huffed but didn't say anything back. She could feel the eyes of their guardian trooper burning a hole in her. 

"Hey! Take me back!"

Oh, Maker.

Y/N shut her eyes for a second. Dan's outraged cry had caught the attention of all the troopers on board.

"Hey, shut up,"  one of them barked back.  "No one's asking for your opinion. I told you, you come with us or we will drag you out of here. Your choice."

She wasn't really one to talk about rational decisions, but she was quite sure the most rational thing to do at that moment was to shut the hell up.

"Go ahead! Do that! I won't cooperate. You can't force me to work for you."

Provoking them wasn't the best idea.

Y/N shot him a look of warning he, unfortunately, didn't catch. Feeling emboldened by the lack of response on the trooper's part, he seemed rather proud of himself. Maybe he thought he had made a valid point; Y/N's theory was that fear and anxiety stopped him from thinking straight. He needed to stand down for now. Occasions to run away would come. He had to wait for the right moment.

"You're right. We can't force you. Torturing you wouldn't really work since you have to be in good shape to fly. You're useless to us."

The words fell directly on Y/N's stomach as if she had just been punched in the gut.

No, she knew where that was-

The sound of the blaster going off shook everyone. Someone screamed in terror as Dan's body collapsed on the ground, blood seeping out of the wound located where his face used to be.

"Anyone wants to quit like our good friend here?"  The trooper asked.

His voice was cold, perfectly calm.

As if he hadn't just blown someone's face up a second ago.

Nobody moved, and Y/N stared at the lifeless body of what could have been her flying companion.

Damn it, Dan.

"Looks like you're the last representative of the pilots,"  the trooper said in her direction, and Y/N didn't say anything in return. No use in answering that.

"Now get moving, kids. Welcome aboard the Finalizer, under the commandment of General Hux."

The door opened, and the troopers had to push everyone out. The children were crying and the adults looked terrified. Y/N turned toward the landing strip. It was buzzing with activity, with troopers running around in their white armors and Imperial officers barking orders as the mechanics worked on the TIEs.

Where did she know all of that lingo from…?

"Welcome home."

————————————--------------------------------

"Wow. That's a nice way to start a new job," Poe finally commented after a few seconds of stunned silence.

Y/N burst out laughing and he soon joined her, hazel eyes twinkling with amusement. Nothing about what she had said was funny, but they both needed to relax after what she had unloaded. She had never told anyone what had happened the day she was drafted. And even though that Dan guy was an idiot, he was innocent and had been killed ruthlessly for basically nothing.

Even though talking Poe through her story had been incredibly hard, the pilot now felt strangely at peace. Bottling up her past wasn't a viable solution, she knew that much, now. 

Both of them turned back to look at the sky. Y/N didn't know what he was thinking about, but she was thinking of the Finalizer. What had happened on it. All that she had done during her time.

And how many deaths she had seen.

"You know, I might be drunker than I thought because I can't decide if what you've just told me was incredibly brave or incredibly stupid."

She turned to Poe, whose eyes were still on the sky, and laughed out loud again. He turned a proud grin in her direction.

"Definitely stupid."

In retrospect, it hadn't been that stupid. It gave her the tools she needed to be a great pilot for the Resistance. Gave her the means to meet important people.

And the tools to slightly even the odds of the war to benefit the Resistance. But that was a story for another day.

"Did you ever see them again?" Poe asked, and the woman shook her head, messy locks flowing around her face. "No. When I came back, the locals told me Ada had died a few years later, and Ectel had left the planet then."

She was relieved the young woman had managed to escape. Y/N sincerely hoped she was living a happy life somewhere. She would never know, but the hope of it kept her going.

Poe stayed silent. He had been nothing but respectful during her whole storytime. BB-8 as well. He hadn't beeped once, but the baby droid had listened. It was a nice surprise to see them both so calm. The brown-haired pilot wasn't exactly quiet.

And it was probably this quietness and open-mindedness that encouraged her to speak again, albeit very softly.

"I hated the First Order, but sometimes… Sometimes, I miss it," she confessed with a deep sigh. "Because things were simple back then. Nobody spoke up; you were expected to be a loner. You didn't have to worry about messing up your relationships since you had none. There was a simplicity in serving Ren. People hated me, but since we all hated one another anyway, it wasn't a big deal."

Now, she was terrified of messing things up. Of screwing up the only chance she had at redemption.

For the second time that night, Poe touched her knee.

"You'll find your place, Y/N. I know you will."

He sounded so genuinely convinced that she almost was, too. But her ever-present doubts crept up on her once again and she met his eyes with a doubtful gaze.

"Do you? Or are you just telling me that to make me feel better, Poe?"

He seemed surprised.

"I do! I wouldn't lie to you. Never. You need to give them some time, you know. I'm not blaming you for anything, but…"

Ah, so there was a but. Poe bit his lip out of uneasiness as if he were looking for the right words to say. He probably was, all things considered. But whatever he said wouldn't really matter — Y/N wasn't one to get offended easily.

"You were the enemy. Some of them lost friends to the bucket heads. Good friends. They will never forget that the First Order took them."

The new pilot smiled sadly. 

"I'm not expecting them to. I won't either."

Silence, again. BeeBee rubbed his head against her leg and her smile softened. Y/N sighed.

"Two hundred and forty-seven. That's how many victims I made."

A single tear escaped her left eye ad it glimmered in the moonlight. The woman shook her head. Most things, she had learned to live with. But that… That would never leave her. Never. It was probably true for every soldier who had to take a life during the war.

"Some of them were probably their friends. So I get it, Poe. I do."

She almost added 'I hate myself too, sometimes' but she had done enough self-loathing for the night. Instead, she sighed, and chose to say:

"I'll never truly be one of you, you know. We're too different."

"That's not a bad thing."

His answer had come instantly, a sign —if she ever needed one— that he was completely honest. Even though she had confessed to hundreds of murders, he wasn't looking at her with hatred or fear, or even disgust. Simply with concern.

And although it was touching and much appreciated, Y/N couldn't help but laugh.

"Not when you want nothing more but to fit in. But I can't, I mean, I know that realistically, I can't. I don't have the same piloting style, the same habits, the same fighting training you got. I work differently."

This seemed to get him to think. He stayed silent for a moment, eyebrows furrowed and eyes focused on something behind her. What was he thinking about? Had he spaced out? He was drunk, it wouldn't have been surprising…

"I can help with that, at least."

Nope, he wasn't sleeping with his eyes open.

"What?" Y/N asked, obviously confused. BeeBee voiced his agreement and Poe seemed annoyed at himself for a second.

"Your fighting technique. I happen to train the newbies, sometimes. I'm one of the instructors."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, his eyes looking everywhere but at her as he seemed lost in thoughts.

"Listen. I'll respect your wish and not be too defensive if I hear someone say something about your time in the Order. I won't like it, that's a promise. It will piss me the hell off, but I'll play nice. In public. It doesn't mean I can't help you out behind closed doors. If you want to casually show off and learn how to fight as we do, I can teach you. I have a day off next week, and so do you. Before you say anything," he added when Y/N opened her mouth to protest, "I'm the one offering. It's not a problem. I want my squad to be at the top of their form. And if you can shut Tarsen up, I'll gladly help you out."

She closed her mouth.

Really, what had she done to deserve his help? This man was a gift. She felt incredibly grateful and almost shed another tear. His concern was touching. His dedication to his squadron was incredible.

She felt like hugging him but stopped right before she did. That would be highly inappropriate. Instead, she turned bright pink. He was doing that thing with his eyes again.  

"You're too nice."

That wasn't exactly the most eloquent answer she had ever given someone, but it would do.

Of course, this seemed to greatly amuse Poe. He leaned forward, his eyes twinkling with mischief, and answered:

"That's my middle name."

Y/N rolled her eyes. Of course, he would have to ruin the moment. Idiot.

"I thought your middle name was 'Best pilot in the Galaxy?'" She asked, voice dripping with sarcasm, and Poe's face lit up with a big smile.

"Ah, so you finally recognize my rightful title?"

Oh, Maker, help. She huffed.

"I told you, I'll believe it when I see it."

He laughed and shook his head, not offended in the slightest. Could this man be rattled by ANYTHING at all?

After a second, he stopped laughing and touched her arm like she was already used to.

"Come on. Let's go back before they send a search party for us, huh?"

Oh! Kriff! He was right. They had been gone for a long time. Someone was going to be worried.

Or make assumptions about the real reason why the General had disappeared with a woman in the middle of the night.

Whoops. Better not to think about that.

Y/N took one last look at the starry, calming sky. The night had been very surprising.

Poe was the biggest surprise of it all. And she had a feeling it wouldn't be the last time he would surprise her.

He extended a hand for her to take and helped her up like the gentleman he was, and the three of them started walking and rolling back to the clearing in which the party was taking place. Y/N was having a hard time not tripping and BeeBee had to turn on a small lamp torch so they would see where they were going. The pilot snorted.

"It's a great thing you're not on duty tomorrow; you're gonna have one hell of a hungover."

As if he was in a better state!

…Yeah, okay, he was walking straight. She was totally blaming the Garrmorl. Y/N winced.

"Did you plan my first off day on purpose?"

He genuinely laughed and looked at her in amusement.

"Oh yeah. I know how these parties usually go. You get some rest, alright? And maybe head to Plork to buy yourself some clothes if you can."

Wait. Waiiit. Had she missed something?

Y/N stopped for a second, her drunk mind trying to make sense of what he had just said.

"How do you know these aren't-"

"They're Klana's. I've seen her wear them before." He interrupted with a shrug.

Wow. Was he a mind reader? Oh, snap! Could he hear her RIGHT NOW?!

Wait, no, he would have said something. Wouldn't he?

The woman was the personification of confusion, at this point. But instead of trying to understand how he was so good at reading people, she burst out laughing.

"Dang, you either have a good memory or someone has a crush."

Woooow, where was that coming from?! The Garrmorl was SERIOUSLY ravaging her at this point. She wasn't usually this… This… daring! At least not with the GENERAL she had encountered recently.

But if the way they had met was giving anything away about how their relationship was evolving, then Y/N knew they were already way past being polite and professional at all times. Poe was joking around too much and she had too big of a mouth for them not to fire jokes at each other, even after only a day.

As expected, he smiled good-heartedly and shook his head.

"Nah, she's not my style. And I'm definitely not hers either."

They walked five more meters before drunk Y/N decided it was time to tease him some more.

"I can point you to many women who'd be glad to know that," she casually answered, and this time, the messy-haired pilot laughed.

"Hey, it's hard being this good-looking. Don't be jealous."

How could ONE PERSON be SO full of themselves and not come off as deeply annoying?! Y/N huffed.

"Maker, with all due respect, you're way too cocky for your own good, Poe."

He punched her arm gently.

"Aw, don't be like that. I promise I pay extra attention to the people of my squad. Don't worry," he added with a wink and a very obvious smirk Y/N saw clearly, even in the dim light of the forest coming from his droid.

Y/N looked down at said droid after rolling her eyes exaggeratedly.

"BeeBee, can you please zap him for me?" The pilot sighed.

The little ball beeped happily and before Poe could say anything, a small taser popped out from behind one of his side panels and a blue electric arc hit Poe in the leg. The General jumped and cursed under his breath before turning a fake shocked look at his droid.

"OW! Buddy, whose side are you on? What do you mean, she's right? So someone saves you from a big ass crate and now you're best buds all of a sudden? I can't believe it."

Y/N burst out laughing as BeeBee kindly pointed out that he was, indeed, being cocky, and Poe grunted in annoyance as human and droid laughed at his pouting face.

Soon enough, the bonfire came into view, and laughter filled the air again. Poe was the first to stop; he turned to his companion.

"Get some rest. Today has been eventful enough. I'll call you next week for our training session, alright?"

He patted her shoulder while biting his lip and glanced at the party still going strong behind them. The raging fire cast a reddish light on his features that highlighted his defined jawline, and for the third time that night, Y/N caught herself staring.

Fortunately, Poe didn't notice this time. When he looked back at her, his face had lost the hint of amusement and teasing he usually wore.

"Hey. Thanks for talking to me. I appreciate it. If you need anything, come to me, okay? I don't know what you went through, but…"

He sighed and looked away. Poe? Uncomfortable? That was new.

"I've suffered at the hand of the First Order. And I've seen what they did to people. I won't judge."

His eyes became distant for a second, and Y/N bit the inside of her cheek. She knew he had been tortured by Ten himself. Her chest tightened when she thought about it. Knowing Kylo, what he must have gone through was indescribable. Instinctively, she raised the hand on the opposite side of the arm he was still touching and squeezed his hand. It seemed to bring him back to the present.

"Thank you for listening, Poe. I appreciate it. I had never… talked about it."

They stared into each other's eyes for a moment. Not as the General of the Resistance and his pilot, but as two humans who had seen their lives ruined by the cruelty of a minority.

Poe might have been one of the only people who truly understood what she had been through.

"Y/N! Is that you?"

The moment ended, and Poe took his hands off her arm. Klana's voice had interrupted them, and the curly-haired pilot was walking toward the pair.

"I'll find you when it's time. Enjoy your day off, Y/N."

With one last wink, he was off, saluting Klana as he walked past her. The brunette looked at him, then back at Y/N, then back at him with a confused expression on her face.

"Where the kriff where you?! Poe was looking everywhere for you earlier! You two have been gone for more than an hour! Did he find you?"

Klana looked genuinely worried and Y/N felt bad. She should have warned her. 

"Yes, he did."

That seemed to surprise the pilot. She frowned and sent her friend a quizzical look.

"Then what the hell did you do for an hour?"

Y/N looked past the fire, eyes finding the General's silhouette. He was back at it again, talking and laughing with Finn as if he hadn't been listening to her sad life story only five minutes earlier.

She smiled softly.

"I made a friend."

[callmehopeless]

KYLO REN

MASTERLIST

🌸 Other Adam Driver Character Masterlists: Kylo Ren | Clyde Logan | Adam Sackler | Flip Zimmerman | Charlie Barber

🌸 Other links: Main Masterlist | Ao3 | Ko-Fi | Patreon | Discord Server

CANON KYLO

Sweet

🌸 Molator, Kylo’s pet fish

🌸 “I’m really happy that you’re here with me.”

🌸 “You’re the only one I want to wake up next to”

🌸 Playing with his hair

🌸 War’s end kiss

🌸 Body worship

🌸 Makes you feel safe

🌸 Holds your hand

🌸 Sleeping next to you

🌸 Loving waking next to you

🌸 Offering his cape

🌸 Nuzzling your hair

🌸 After TROS

🌸 Has a nightmare

🌸 During TLJ

Sexy

🌸 “You’re so needy.”

🌸 An interrupted kiss

🌸 A passionate kiss

🌸 NSFW Alphabet

🌸 Domming Kylo until he’s a sobbing mess

🌸 Sitting on his face

🌸 Fingering you

🌸 Morning sex

🌸 Tying him up

🌸 Fucking you with his lightsaber

🌸 Learning to fuck

Angsty

🌸 “Move out of my way - before I make you.”

🌸 “Do you even see how pale you are?” 

🌸 Having your heart broken

🌸 Keeping you warm in the snow

🌸 Needs comfort

🌸 Passes away

🌸 Is your soulmate

MODERN KYLO

🌸 Mutual pining with your neighbour, Ben

🌸 Confessing his love

🌸 Proposing

🌸 Is your best friend (mutual pining)

🌸 Is cursed to be a beast

🌸 Is quarantined with you

VAMPIRE KYLO

🌸 “You’re like my heroine.”

🌸 Dating a witch

🌸 First Date

🌸 Developing a relationship

🌸 Meeting vampire Kylo

🌸 Being dirty

🌸 Drinking from your thighs

🌸 Biting you during sex

🌸 Works at the hospital

🌸 In canon universe

A/B/O

Alpha Kylo

🌸 As a parent

🌸 As a virgin

🌸 Sleepy fucking

🌸 Wooing his Omega

🌸 Has a breeding kink

🌸 During your heat

🌸 Consensual non-consent

🌸 Being sweet during your heat

🌸 Snuggling you

🌸 Forced to breed with you (during apocalypse)

🌸 In canon universe

Omega Kylo

🌸 “Will you stay the night?” 

🌸 Body worship

🌸 Working as an academic with you

MERMAID KYLO

🌸 With a pet seal

🌸 Falls in love with you

WINGED KYLO

🌸 Loves you touching his feathers

🌸 Falls in love with you

SOLO TRIPLETS

🌸 As ghosts

🌸 Have sex with you

Looking for something that isn’t on here? I take requests!

[babbushka]

To You

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren x Reader (Incredibly N*FW, 3.5k)

                                                         -------------

You’re sitting on his throne, when he returns.

It’s a flurry of motion; the doors flying open, the Knights entering in double filed lines, three and three all in sync, all in time, their heavy boots shaking the floor with all their might. None have as much might as your husband, your man, your Supreme Leader, and when he comes into the room, all the ambassadors drop like flies with respect, the hard smack of kneecaps echoing on the imported marble flooring. Their eyes are cast down, none daring to look at his masked face, none daring to raise their heads before he allows it.

The power of the dark side flows through him so strongly that it’s palpable, it’s thick in the air, crackling and snapping around him. Your breath hitches in your chest at the way you can feel it; the way it makes the hair on your arms and back of your neck stand up, the way it casts goosebumps all across your flesh, the way it makes your stomach flip. You have no Force powers of your own, have no claim to the universe other than the ring that lives on your finger, have no ability to bend time and space other than through his hand.

But his hand is your hand, and the bond you share is so strong that you may as well command the galaxy through it, may as well manipulate it to your every whim the way that he does. It is a testament to his strength, to his power, to his loyalty, that you can feel it. The dark side.

 You had been in the middle of negotiations, when he returns.

 In the wake of his departure to scour the farthest corners of the galaxy, rule was always left to you. Your diplomacy was a thing which Kylo envied. He had none of his own, not really. After all, why did he need any when he had you? There had been an issue with kyber crystals, locating them now that Ilum was gone, had been destroyed in the aftermath of Starkiller Base’s explosion. You had been notified of a new planet which technically was neither Resistance nor Order, that held the second largest depository of kyber crystals in the galaxy – and you wanted it.

So, moments before Kylo and his Knights of Ren had come storming home, thundering back, you had been seated atop his throne, wearing robes of the Order’s colors, deep velvet blacks and rich silk reds, surrounded by the praetorian guards who had sworn their lives to defend you, and the ambassadors of the planet which you so desperately sought to annex.

But now Kylo is home.

Now Kylo is home and is standing before you, flanked by all his Knights, all of them, each and every one of them covered in dried blood which crusts into the seams of their armor.

“Did you…?” You ask, looking into the place where you knew his eyes were, behind the visor.

You don’t want to say anything, not in the presence of all these people, all these subjects who wait with bowed heads in reverence of their Supreme Leader. They do not know of his plans, not like you do. It would not do, you think, to reveal them just yet.

Silently, one of the Knights, Ap’Lek, steps forward, his hand outstretched.

“Oh,” You breathe, when you recognize the pyramid in Ap’Lek’s hand, gaze going back and forth between Kylo’s mask and the wayfinder which he has successfully ripped from the hands of those ill-suited Vader cultists on Mustafar, “Oh my darling.”

You are overflowing with pride, and you slink off the throne, the long train of your robes slipping and trailing behind you as you step as close as possible to Kylo, as you splay your hands around his head, as you unclasp the latches of his mask. You want to see him, want to see his face, want to watch his pupils dilate when the praise washes over him, and he can read it in your mind that it’s coming, so he allows you to lift his armor away.

What you’re met with is something that has your knees nearly weak – for there is a glimmer of gold in his eyes, a hint of fire, of orange-red energy which flickers for a moment, yellow and fierce before the brown of his irises floods into yours. He swallows hard, desperate to hear you say it, and you brush a thumb over his bottom lip, lean in to rub your noses together sickly sweet, when you say,

“You did so well.”

Kylo is feral, when he returns.

 He is shaking, trembling, clenched and hungry. Raw power flows through him and at the praise it only flares, only sparks. You can feel the tingling already, can feel the throbbing between your legs as the muscles in his jaw work, and he knows what you are allowing, knows what you want.

By the stars he is going to give it to you.

“Leave us.” He says, snaps, orders. His voice is loud, booming, commanding.

He does not look away from you, not for even a fraction of a second, as the room clears out. Not a single soul is allowed to remain, is allowed to witness the acts of worship he will lavish upon you. Not the Knights, not the Guards, and certainly not the ambassadors.

They flee, and you let the mask drop from your fingers, let it clang on the marble floor, let it loll to one side as his gloved hands snake their way around your middle. He walks you backwards, back to the throne. It floats, suspended in the air by some sort of technology you care little about. He waves his hand and with unseen powers he brings the whole throne down so it rests firm and stable on the flooring, as he nudges you to sit back on it.

He trembles, veneration evident in the way he falls to his knees before you, the way his palms smooth up over your thighs. You scrape your nails along his scalp, his hair greasy and matted and caked in blood and old sweat, and he lets out a sound that’s far too much like a moan for you to ignore.

“Drink your wine.” You tell him, allow him, and he sucks in a deep breath, chest practically heaving as he parts your legs, pushes up your robes.

There’s so much fabric, so many layers, but underneath it all your body is bare to him, as you sit on his throne. He hikes up your robes and is met with the sight of your pussy wet and glistening, hair already soaked through, thighs already covered in a sheen of your slick. His arms coil around your thighs and pull you to the edge of the throne so he has an easier time maintaining his grip.

 Kylo is desperate, when he returns.

 His tongue is insistent, demanding, starving, as he licks into you, the hot wet slide of his proud muscle parting the folds of your cunt with a force that has you gripping the hair at the nape of his neck, has you moaning, has your back slouching deep against the blood red cushions of the throne.

���Yes, good – you’re so good.” You sigh with pleased approval, nipples hardening quickly against your clothing, head tipping back as you slip your legs over his shoulders so he might have better purchase.

He moans into you, eyes shut tight, looking like he’s in pain. With that first taste, he is in a near-frenzy. He’s too far gone from the rush of battle, the thrill of victory, too far beyond anything other than an aching dizzying need to consume and be consumed. He eats you out with passion, shifts closer and closer on his knees as he buries his nose against your clit, has you gasping for him with each press of it.

“Oh! Oh, please, please.” You egg him on, encourage him. He could weep, he’s so filled with adoration, devotion to you. You taste divine and he could cry if he weren’t so zeroed in on chasing the flavor of your sex, your pussy the first meal he’s had in days, the first morsel of sustenance he can engulf.

His hands shake when he needs to pull away just for a moment to breathe. Even still, he remains between your legs, cheek and chin shining with your juices. He looks at you, through his dark lashes, and there you can see the flicker and flare of yellow once again, suppliant. You lick your lips, and he nods, laves his tongue slowly, with respect and care and dedication, across the crease where your thigh parts from your cunt. He mouths and sucks the skin there, breathes in deeply as he begins to whimper, his own hips twitching.

You don’t need to see the tent in his trousers to know he is achingly hard.

“Go ahead – please, for me.” You pant, and he is so grateful that he lowers his mouth to your pussy once more, sucks hard at your clit once more, hollows out his cheeks and slurps up all your slick once more, before shoving his hand down his pants.

He moans into you again, louder this time, with the Force, this time, and a full body shudder explodes through your body. It’s literally the Force, literally time and space itself wrapping around you, traveling through you from his moans as he wraps a hand around his cock.

He strokes himself furiously, makes out with your cunt, shoves his face as deep as he can, his tongue long and thick and forcing its way against your walls, teeth dragging against your folds.

“Kylo!” You yelp, he’s too rough, too eager, too good. He’s so good, and you fist his hair hard, tug at his curls with a white-knuckle grip, and he only moans louder, which makes you cry out in turn.

You come on his tongue, knees squeezing his head, and the gush of your body could drown him. He raises himself up, nearly scrambles to rub the head of his cock through your pulsing throbbing folds. He moans, whimpers and whines as he does it, as he coats himself in your come. It is sick, the squelch of his cock rubbing up and down your pussy, and he tortures himself by only pushing in far enough that the tip has disappeared inside you.

He jerks himself off like this, you clenching and clamping down around his head as you come, thighs jumping wildly. His face is wet, from sweat or tears or your own slick, you can’t tell. His teeth chatter from where he’s hidden himself in the crook of your neck, nose pressed hard against your jugular and he comes moments after. You swear you can feel the way it splashes inside you, swear the lights flicker and flare with the intensity of it.

But he’s still hard, and you’re just as hungry as he is for a proper fucking, so with some great effort, you pull and push him deeper, closer, further into you, until he gets the hint.

 Kylo is filthy, when he returns.

 Your robes once pristine and wrinkle-free are now smeared with blood and dirt. He smells like ozone, like earth, like soil and ash as he pushes you up up up the throne, makes room for himself as well, room enough to plow into you. The force crackles and thrums around you, and soon the entire throne, the entire unit is tipping backwards.

Your hands fly out to cling to Kylo in a mild panic, unsure and unaware of what’s happening, but he reassures you with a dizzying kiss. Like this, gravity pulls you down enough that you are reclining, and Kylo is sinking deeper and deeper into you. Like this, he can fuck you, really fuck you.

Your hands cup his cheeks, smear away the dirt and death that has stuck there. He was successful, and you are so in love with him, so proud of him, that no amount of grime could deter you. His chest heaves and you know what he wants when a hand of his own closes into a fist and opens, again and again and again.

“Can I see?” He asks, his voice hoarse.

You smile warmly, chest blooming with pride, that he’s coming back enough to speak, his first orgasm having taken off some of the edge. Your hands abandon his face to obey his request as you undo the ties and clasps of your robes, as you reveal your tits to him.

He immediately latches himself to your nipple, immediately gropes and bites at your breasts. The bruises which he had once left you as a parting gift before his mission were now faded away to nothing, and the sight thrills him because it means he has opportunity to purple your flesh with new marks of worship.

“Kylo, I can’t take it anymore, please,” You beg when the sucking and biting become too much, when his hips have still not yet thrusted against you.

He has held himself still inside you this little while, and it’s driving you crazy. He lets out a breath against you, and it trembles through you, chills you, because you can feel the power in it.

“Please what?” He asks, just wanting to hear you say it, wanting to hear those words.

“Fuck me, Kylo.” You lick your lips, clenching around his cock, “Make me scream, make the whole galaxy hear me scream your name.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice.

 He is starving, when he returns.

 You’re impressed with how quickly his clothes fall away, how quickly your clothes slip off your shoulders. The robes which bore his crest, his symbol, are being literally sliced into thin ribbons from the Force. They slither and slide away, all except one long strip which binds itself around your wrists, pulls them up up up so your body is taut, your tits sticking out, back arched into his embrace.

With your hands bound, he tears the gloves from his hands with those crooked teeth which you so adore, spits them across the throne room. His hands brand you when they clamp around your thighs, keeping you in place. You couldn’t move if you tried, if you wanted to, between the weight of his body and the Force pinning you down.

“Yes!” You gasp, when he slams his cock into you, hard.

The wet smack of his skin against yours has you keening, has your back arching up more and more until he has to physically push you back down. The throne is hot against your back, from all the heat your own bodies have expelled, the metal beading with condensation as your hands scrabble against it.

“(Y/N),” Your name is a prayer on his lips as he builds a rhythm, builds up a steady pace which has your nerves on fire from your finger tips to your toes, toes which curl against his back, “(Y/N) – oh stars.” He is loud, voice bouncing around the walls of the throne room.

His hands are all over you; they grip at your knees, your hips to keep you steady. They grope at your tits, the soft flesh of your stomach, your ass. They wrap and squeeze around your throat, until you’re nearly blue in the face and sobbing from the rush of pleasure that flies to your head, dizzy in a way that has you seeing stars, and you can’t tell if you’re coming or not -- it’s just that good.

He is spurred on by your cries, your moans, how they are loud loud loud, shouts as he shoves his cock as deep as it can possibly go. He is so strong, it is easy for him to break you, and he has to be careful but he doesn’t want to, his head filled with so much of his own pleasure that when the Force connects the two of you in the bond you share, he bares his teeth and snarls with how good it is.

He’s coming in you again from the force of it. He bites down hard on the spot where your shoulder meets your throat, bites down to prevent him from screaming. His cock is still so hard, and he wants to cry with how much he loves you, how he can feel how much he loves you.

You are stuck in a feedback loop – pleasure, hot, wet, white, blinding, heat, love, love, love, power – as the Force flows between the two of you. His fingertips crackle and spark, visible purple light glimmering shimmering in the air around you, and you yank on your bindings, desperate for him to stimulate your clit with that, with the sheer raw electricity of the universe.

“Let me? Oh Force, fuck, let me, let me, (Y/N), let me – ” he begs as he plows into you, as he rails you, and you’re hiccupping out a –

“Yes, please, Kylo, yes!” You nod, furious, and he’s drooling into your mouth from how drunk he is off your cunt that his hands need a second try to find your clit in the first place.

He rolls it between his fingers when he does, and the Force shoots up through you so blindingly that your eyes snap open, that you come and come and come with a sob, as you yell out his name again and again.

He commands the Force to fuck you then, to wriggle deeper and harder and hotter and stronger than his own cock could alone. He reaches the Force up so far into you that you feel like you’re choking on it, and he is in awe of the way his power makes you feel, he absorbs it right back through your bond.

“It chose us,” He’s delirious, trembling and sparking all over, crackles of the Force thrumming through his body, into yours, up through you and out of your fingertips, “Look at this, look, it chose us – look how much it loves us.”

If there had ever been a shadow of a doubt, a shadow of uncertainty about the sheer sublimity of the dark side, it is gone now. If there had ever been a call to the light, a hand outreached for a traitor of a cousin, it was snuffed out now. All there is, is power. All there is, is you.

He comes in you again, and this time, oh this time with all this pleasure, you do scream.

 He is flooded with power, when he returns.

 He rests his head against your chest, the both of you panting panting panting, throats dry and hoarse from the shouting. Your throats are dry but your eyes sting wet, tears from pure sensation, the Force bond thriving between you. Through this somehow it burns even brighter, as if there were no ceiling for how high you both could ride this wave. You wonder, wonder what the Force will gift you, what the next step in the evolution of your love might bring. 

You’re still joined together, his cock still hard somehow. You’re exhausted, from all of that, exhausted and already blooming red purple blue bruises, muscles sore from the burn of tension. Around you, the room burns, fires combusted out of nowhere from the explosion of his orgasm.

His eyes are closed but you can still see the yellow in the memory that’s burned into your brain, the Force playing it on loop. He looks so handsome, you can’t help but shift your hips enough to draw a long groan out of him. His chocolate eyes were stunning, of course they were, but there’s something about the molten gold, the flecks of red, that unnatural display of unnatural abilities that only he can wield with such mastery…it has you breathless.

Well, everything about Kylo has you breathless.

He attempts to live inside you, and you let him, let him cling to you, robes torn and ripped to shreds in a pile around your bodies, torn from his fingers and the Force. Still he shakes, though the tremors which wrack through him now are after-shocks of coming, his cock still twitching, still pouring come into you every few moments. You’re afraid that you won’t be able to stand without it cascading down your thighs.

Kylo hears the thought and only pushes his cock deeper into you, making you suck in a breath from being so overstimulated. You don’t want him to get off of you, not yet, you don’t want him gone so soon yet, not so soon after he’s finally returned. 

Because you know realistically that he will need to leave again, and soon. You know he will need to follow the wayfinder to the place where the sith reside, to the place where his power can be enhanced, to the place where any obstacle to his rise may be snuffed out.

He will be gone, you cannot stop him. You don’t want to stop him, not when he returns so successful. But before he goes, he will need his fill of you, will need to take you again and again, will need to claim you in as many ways as he can before he goes, before he is parted from you again. He will fight and he will slaughter the rebellion the same way he has slaughtered all other enemies which have come between him and his quest for power.

This you know.

But what you also know, is that he does this all for you, all for the galaxy which you rule alongside him.

And when he returns, he is all of those things; feral, desperate, filthy, starving. But he is grinning, smile spread so wide on his face as you hold him close, as you grin back at him from the thrill of it all, the thrill of your love. 

Because when he returns, it is above all else, a return to you.

                                                  --------------

I have no idea who to tag for this so I am so sorry if this is not your thing at all lmao  @adamsnackdriver​​​ @dreamboatdriver​​​ @kyloxfem​​​ @heldcaptivebychaos​​​ @kylo-renne​​​ @callmehopeless​​​ @solotriplets​​​ @formerly-anonhamster​​​ @lookinsidemyhead​​​ @candycanes19​​​ @adamsnacc-kler​​​ @the-wayward-rose​​​ @taylovren-types​​  magikevalynn  tinyplanet-explorers @chelsjnov​​​  romancedeldiablo @elfieboxcat​​ @scheherazades-horcrux​​ @whiskey-bumblebee​ @riseofkylo​

[cummingforkylo]

Soo... first time having sex with Kylo/Ben after the Bendemption?

Hi! 

The following drabble is the second part to this. Please read part one before continuing. 

Also this is the softest shit I’ve ever written like...if you like Ben and you like fluff...and also sex, you’ve come to the right fucking place. 

I knowRating: Explicit/NSFWCW: So Soft. Ben Solo. Love and stuff. Word Count: 1,635Prompt: First time after Bendemption. A continuation of I’m Not Ben Without You

The celebrations continued on for days. No one wanted to get to reality. There was a galaxy to rebuild, things to be taken care of and yet, everyone stayed blissed out on the base, unwilling to venture onward in life. It was hard for you to become used to sharing Ben with anyone. He had been yours and only yours for so long. He had been yours while he was Kylo Ren, when  no one else wanted him, he was yours. Now, he was the subject to the scrutiny of others and still others felt like they were owed a portion of his time. You hated that. The two of you were so used to being an island, it was easy to shut off from the rest of the Resistance, even though you knew you shouldn’t. You had friends here too.

You forced yourself to pretend to be okay with sharing Ben but you clung to his hand the entire time. You shared looks with him, looks that only you and him could understand, it made it very clear you were a unit unmatched by any other around. On the third evening of your new life you couldn’t take being around the continued revelries. You wanted your Ben and only your Ben, for the first time since he had been Ben.

“Stay here,” You said, clinging to his fingers as he turned to leave your room in the base.

“People will miss us, wont they?” he asked.

“Let them miss us. There’s too many of them out there.” You said softly. He knew who was on your mind, he knew what weighed on you. You still couldn’t hide anything from him. Even if he didn’t read each of your thoughts, even if he was trying to break that habit, he could see it in your expression. He turned back to you, stepped close to you and cupped your face. He leaned over and pressed his lips into yours. It took your breath away, you reached up and put your and on the back of his neck, still feeling like you had to cling to him. When he pulled away from you he nodded,

“I’d always choose to just be with you.” He said. You weren’t used to him talking like this. It had been three days and he still seemed closed off most of the time. You could always tell how hard he was trying but he had a lot to work on and you knew it was difficult. Your heart sped up and you kissed him again, catching his lips with yours. He leaned down into you, opening his mouth. His tongue slipped into your mouth and you felt your insides heat up, it was familiar and foreign all at the same time.

He was so completely different from the last time you had done this, but he was still who you remembered him. You had known Ben was inside of him all along, hidden under the years of abuse, the pain and the anger but he had been there. You had coaxed it out of him back then but now Ben was who he was always. You wanted that version of him. You stood up on your tip toes to get closer with him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I’ve missed you,” he breathed into your lips.

“I’ve been right here, Ben.” You mumbled against him, tasting his lips as you spoke.

“Not close enough,” he lifted you up, your legs wrapping around his waist and he carried you to the bed. “I want you. I haven’t gotten to have you. Not…not like this.” He said, you knew what he meant. He hadn’t gotten to have you as his true self, as Ben Solo. You had wanted it since that first night back at the resistance base, but you were scared it was too soon. You were scared it would be too much, with everything happening, with his wounds, his exhaustion and the newness of who he was, it would feel like too much. Now however, you were sick of waiting. You wanted to discover him bit by bit, you wanted Ben to unravel you and heal everything that had felt damaged before. Ben brought you to the bed and laid you down, he moved on top of you and his lips were all over you. They pressed heat into your lips, and tender fluttering kisses along your neck and shoulders. His hands traced your sides, pressing your shirt up. You had felt this so much before, the same hands working across your skin, but this time as they traced underneath your breasts it felt like he was writing a new story into your skin. This story felt different, good and different.

In a way, you missed the roughness, the darkness that gave his voice an edge and the way he grabbed you but something in the way he touched you told you that wasn’t gone. It would be back, but not until he had written out all the ways you could trust him. Not until he had fixed what had been damaged in your relationship before. His lips traveled down as he tugged your shirt up and off of you, he kissed each of your nipples and they automatically hardened under Ben’s mouth, his tongue flicking out.

You moaned softly as he stripped you bare and then hurriedly moved to do the same, briefly getting caught in his own shirt in his haste to get it off of his head. You didn’t want to wait any longer to be as close as you could be with him. You burned for it, you ached for him and only him. You could feel his hard cock, pressed against you, familiar, almost too big. You reached down between your bodies and took him in your hand, it felt heavy, straining, needing, a bead of precum at the tip. You swiped your finger across it and then brought it up to your lips. You sucked your own fingers into your mouth, your eyes meeting his. He watched as he sucked the drop of precum off of your finger.

“I want to taste you,” Ben breathed, his eyes were wide with lust and you shuddered at the prospect. Before you could say anything else he moved down your body, lower, lower until he reached your pubic bone. He kissed you there, and you reached out to lock your fingers in his black hair.

“Open your legs….please.” He said. You did and he didn’t waste time, his mouth was on you, licking fire into you. He was messy, hungry and carnal in how he handled your pussy with his mouth. His tongue darted out, licking up your slit, stroking your clit and then sucking it into his mouth. He toyed with the hardened bud, drawing mewling moans from you. You knew you couldn’t be too loud, there were people all over and you’d hate for them to hear you. You hadn’t cared on the Supremacy, no one would have dared mention it before, now it would be fair game. You rocked your hips up to his mouth and he growled into you, reminding you forcibly of other times, of a different man.

“B-ben! I need you…please, I need your cock.” You gasped. He didn’t need to be told twice, he pulled back and moved over you again. His cock pressed insistently at your entrance and you opened your legs for it.

“You want me?” he asked.

“Yes.” You said.

“Do you love me?” he asked, his voice choking up a little over the word. You lost your breath at the question, it was so simple that it broke your heart.

“Yes.” You said. He pressed his cock into you and you grabbed at him, tugging him down over you. His elbows framed your head, resting on the bed on either side of you. One of his big hands rested on the top of your head and he rocked his hips forward, burying himself deep inside of you. You felt so wonderfully full, full of him. Full of Ben. You gasped and lifted your hips up to meet his.

“Ohhh fuck me, Ben…please fuck me.” You moaned as he pumped his cock into you. His slow movements started to speed up then, spurred on by your words. Everything in the world felt right, he looked into your eyes and pressed his lips to yours. You gasped at the feeling of him snapping his hips forward, shoving his cock deeper into you. Each thrust seemed to fill you more than the last one. You were so eager, so ready that the pleasure mounting in your stomach felt like a warmth radiating ball of glowing sunlight inside of you. It pulsed and shook, quivering as more and more pleasure was pulled out of you. You whined as he buried his head in your shoulder, kissing along your neck. Your orgasm seemed to come out of nowhere, as if a cup had been filled to the brim and then just spilled over. You gasped, your walls clenching around him, your hands clasped in his hair as you rocked against him.

“Are-are you cumming? Oh…yes!” His cock throbbed inside you as your clenched down on it. You felt every drop of cum spurt out inside of you, filling you up. He stayed inside of you for as long as he could and even after he couldn’t, after both of your breathing had settled down he stayed on top of you, cupping your cheeks, kissing your lips, nose, eyelids.

“Ben,” you sighed, leaning into him. You heart thrummed and you felt tears burst in your eyes. It was so right.

“I know,” he said, stroking your hair back.

[yourtypeof-metal]

The Aftermath of The Mask - Chapter 17

chapter 17 is up on AO3, enjoy sinners. also I made this cover in like five mins pls don't come for me. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23793310/chapters/70961817

[awkward-tension-art]

Darkness on Umbara Chp.7 (Rex x Reader)

Chapter. 6 Chapter 8.

Silk

cw: Rex x Reader, Reader is a medic, incorrect military procedure, graphic descriptions of injuries, blood, swearing, death and battle, Spoilers for the Umbara Arc, Pong Krell is an asshole, reader insert, names of non-canon dead clones, Reader has an emotional breakdown, reader is gender neutral, no use of (Y/N), if i miss a tag LMK

Minors DNI

 While Rex and a few others scouted ahead, You took a desperate shot in the dark.

“General Krell,” you had the comm close to your lips, “We need the medical speeder. There's several wounded that need to get out of here.”

You were met with silence.

“Sergeant Appo, if it's you i'm talking to, get me General Krell before I shove my laser scalpel up your-”

“That will be unneeded, Doctor.” the General’s voice came through on the other end, “The wounded will be extracted when the airbase has been taken.” 

“Sir, some of the wounded can’t wait that long. They need to get to a safer location so I can-.” You were practically begging the Jedi at this point.

“I have the utmost faith that you’ll be able to save them from where you are.” He responded, but even on this end, you could practically hear the uninterested look on his face. You were about to respond but the comm cut. Krell was done with you.

You looked around you, taking in the injured. Three of them needed surgery. Two needed bacta tanks ASAP. Five were entirely unconscious from blood loss and missing limbs.

And one, Fisher, was leaning against a broken and destroyed AT-RT. His chest had been completely eviscerated, exposing broken ribs and damaged organs. You couldn’t do anything, you didn’t have the bacta or supplies to save him. Yet, it would take hours for him to die. 

So you held his hand in yours and gave him as many painkillers as it took to stop his heart. 

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Jumper. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. 

“Doc?” Nax had remained close, guarding you while Rex and the others went ahead, “Are you ok?” 

“No, Nax.” You admitted, “I’m not.” 

This wasn’t the first time you’ve had to mercy kill. But you hated yourself every time you did it.

He remained silent as he stepped towards you and offered a hand. He was sweet. Very polite. So you took it and stood, “Thank you.” 

The trooper looked like he was about to speak when the ground rumbled. Terror filled your blood. Were there more of those worm tanks!? The air crackled and burned with fire and explosives. They sounded different from the centipede tanks the men shot down earlier…new weapons? You desperately hoped not.

Several soldiers dove over your cover, breathing heavily. Very quickly others joined, remaining hidden. You didn’t want to risk your head to get a look at what was happening. So you knelt, looking at Jesse, who had made it before Rex or the others. He met your confused and worried gaze before answering, “Heavy tanks.”

Rex, followed by Kix and Fives, got to your position. the captain had his comm on, speaking hurriedly, “Sir, we’re overpowered. we need reinforcements!”

“The rest of the battalion is holding the entrance of the gorge, captain.” Krell was on the other end, sounding about as calm and uninterested as when you called, “They're guarding it so your troops can break through to the air base.”

Jesse jerked his head up, sharing a look with Hardcase. Seemed everyone expected such a cold response, but it was still despair-inducing to hear.

A shot exploded directly on the other side of your cover. The heavy tanks were attempting to break through the trees and roots that protected everyone. Another shot hit right above you, raining scorched plant matter down.

You dove towards an unconscious, bleeding trooper and held him close, using your body to protect him from the debris. Once everything passed, you got to work stabilizing him. 

Rex continued to argue with the General, “But sir, we can’t possibly-!”

“You must stand your ground!” Pong fucking Krell shouted from his comm, “Do you read me!? Captain, are you listening? Do not fall back! That's an order!” 

Your lover was unmoving. He was paralyzed in horror that Krell would still push this suicide mission. After a few heartbeats, he shook his head. 

Two voices cried out from the otherside of the cover. You and Kix shared a look before scrambling over to grab them and drag them with the others. Your hands were on one trooper and getting his wounds under control while Kix was dealing with the other.

“Keep the wounded as quiet as possible.” The clone captain nodded to you before addressing everyone else, “Alright, you heard the general. Let's go.”

Jesse whirled around from where he kept an eye on the battlefield, “You can't be serious!”

“I used to think the General was reckless,” Fives spat, “But now I'm beginning to think he just hates clones.”

Dogma stepped forward, clear on which side he stood, “The captain is right. Now let's move out!”

The trooper, Trident, under your hands spasmed. He seized, and you did your best to get him on his side and let the seizure pass, “With who!?” you snapped, cracking under the stress, “Everyone is injured and exhausted or dead!” Trident stilled in your arms, and once you felt his neck, there was no pulse. 

The traumatic brain injury he sustained was too much for him. 

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Trident.

“Isn’t it your job to patch everyone up!?” He retorted, “With all the dead, you certainly are doing a great job!” 

Your eyes widened and Hardcase shot forward, immediately punching Dogma, sending him to the ground. “Shut the fuck up!” he shouted down at the trooper, “You’d be among the dead without Kix and-!”

“Hardcase! Enough!” Rex stepped between them, keeping his gaze level with the heavy gunner, “Fighting each other isn’t going to help.” Despite his words, he cast a glance at you.

Your eyes met him in his helmet. He was checking on you, in his own way. So you nodded, indicating that Dogma’s words didn’t affect you. You’ve been blamed before. Troopers that were grief stricken would lash out at you, blame you for your failings to save their brothers. Though, later, they’d come to you and apologize. You expected Dogma wouldn’t.

Still, you appreciated how Tup knelt to put a hand on your shoulder. Dogma didn’t look at you as he got up.

“What will help is finding another way to deal with the tanks!” Fives got into Rex’s face, clearly angry. Judging by the way his hands clenched into fists, he was ready to start getting physical too, “We can’t take them head-on.”

The captain remained steadfast, “You got any ideas?”

The ARC trooper looked down and shook his head, keeping silent.

“Then this is it.” Rex looked over at the men who remained standing, and turned to get out into the field. 

Hardcase huffed, adjusting the rocket launcher in his grip, “Ok, let's do it!” He, along with Jesse, Tup and Fives sprinted out. Kix was about to follow before he stopped and looked back. 

“Go. Send anyone hurt to me.” you nodded, remaining with the injured. He gave a salute before rushing to follow his brothers. 

Since the squad of soldiers had run out, all attention from the tank shifted to them. No longer were the trees that protected you threatening to fall or collapse from the shots. You looked over your cover, spotting the second tank that was shooting the trees across the field. Its focus was on the men who were fleeing into the foliage to hide. 

A trooper high in the branches fired a rocket. The explosive didn’t do much other than cause the massive tank to stumble. Once it corrected itself, it blasted the poor clone with its cannon.

You waited for the Umbaran to turn its focus away from that side before moving in. Your feet were quick, diving behind downed AT-RT’s, boulders and whatever other cover you could hide behind. 

Once you made it to him, you realized the trip was worthless. He was dead. Half of his body was gone the moment he was hit with cannon fire. 

But he wasn’t alone. Someone else was down, crying and writhing in pain.

Arm missing. Main problem is blood loss. Still awake. I have time. I can save him.

You got to your knees quickly, skidding on the wet ground as you did so. Your pack was off your shoulders as you began to get as many gauze pads and bandages on him as possible. Your hands were stained with his blood as you controlled the bleeding. 

“Come on,” you draped his good arm over your shoulder and stood, “I’m getting you with the others.”

You watched the tank again, waiting patiently before dashing to another point of cover. Getting back to the injured was slower this time, but you managed to get there. Leaning the trooper against a tree root, you commed Krell again, “General, I need the supplies on that speeder!” 

There was only silence. 

“General Krell!” You were desperate, and your voice was shaking from the fear. Fear for the men. Fear they wouldn’t even get a chance to survive, “General Krell, please!” 

Nothing. Unanswered. 

Your hands were shaking and you let out a frustrated, angry cry. The names of the dead replayed in your head over and over again.

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Trident.

No. You still had supplies on you. You weren’t giving up. You refused. 

A trooper stumbled over the cover, carrying an ARF trooper. You recognized Silk and Hinge.

“Doc, he needs help.” The trooper slid the injured carefully down. 

Before you even inspected him, you could tell Hinge was barely hanging on, if he was even alive. His armor was blacked and scorched. Smoke still billowed from his body. When you approached, you felt his neck. 

Nothing.

“I’m sorry, Silk.” you murmured, taking off Hinge’s helmet. Carefully, you closed his eyes before standing. 

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Jumper. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge.

“...we’re all dead, aren't we?” Silk sat down, leaning against the tree. 

You hesitated to answer. Truthfully, you thought so. You wanted to agree. To accept the truth that Krell won and lead all of you to your deaths.

But…Rex would keep fighting. Your kar’ta wouldn’t go down without taking as many separatists as possible down with him. 

You looked at your hand, testing if you could close it in the brace, luckily, you could. You could feel the movement. Feel your fingers on your palm. Your arm, despite the immense damage, was healing. Your nerves were connecting. Your veins and arteries were directing blood flow again. Your body refused to give up.

You could still fight. Just like Rex would.

“No.” your voice was resolute, “I’m not giving up.” You looked over the injured. More had managed to find your location in various states of bleeding, dying or crying, “I’m not giving up on any of you. Even if I have to pick up your rifles to protect you, I’m not giving up.”

Silk sighed and stood, “Doctor,” he saluted, “I am at your command.” 

You couldn’t help but smile softly, “I’ll need your help. Stay within cover, prioritize your safety, but look for any injured. Bring them to me.”

“I’ll help.” Hem, another ARF trooper stood, rotating his arm to stretch his shoulder, “I’m not too hurt.”

“Thank you both.” you saluted as they climbed out of the safety of the trees and roots. The ground shook with another cannon shot nearby. Thankfully, everyone seemed to be out of view. Or the Umbarans weren’t interested in killing those who couldn’t fight back. 

Still, since those heavy tanks weren’t focused on you, it allowed you to continue your job. These soldiers were your patients. They needed you. They needed your skills. And with whatever supplies you had left, you’d try to save them.

So you got to work. Triage. Deal with the more serious injuries. Prioritize. 

Your training took over. You were on autopilot weaving between the troopers. Your supplies dwindled. You ran out of painkillers and bacta entirely. Your tourniquets were the lifesavers at this point. Using them allowed you to spread your bandages and gauze pads between everyone.

Despite your effects, you still lost a few.

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno.

At some point Tup had made his way back to you, followed by Hem, carrying Zeke. Silk wasn’t accounted for, but you trusted he would be alright. 

“Doctor,” Tup got to your side, “How can i-?”

Wordlessly, you handed him bandage scissors. He looked confused, even as you removed the minimal armor plating on your sleeve. As a field doctor, armor wasn’t the priority, medical supplies were. You had some plates on your wrists, thighs and chest, but that was about it. Everything else was covered in protective clothing to allow more medical packs and more freedom of movement. 

Which came in handy, “Cut the sleeve up to my shoulder, and then cut it into long strips.” you commanded Tup. 

“Ok…don’t move. I don't want to accidentally nick you.” The poor clone sounded unsure, shy even, but did as you asked. Despite his shaky hands, he kept the shears steady enough to prevent any small injuries to your skin. Once the cloth was separated, you slipped your arm from the sleeve and returned your focus to the other troopers.

Tup was an efficient assistant. Not even a minute later he had the sleeve cut into lengthy straight strips. You grabbed them silently and used them as extra bandages. 

The ground rumbled and shook. One of the tanks was getting close. Too close. You looked up, taking a chance to peer out into the battlefield.

Three heavy tanks were damn near on top of you as they chased those on the field. Through their shining spotlights, you recognized the silhouette of Rex and Jesse running across the field. Rex had a rocket launcher, and with a broken heart, you realized Hardcase must’ve gone down. 

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno. Hardcase…

Hardcase.

“Doc!” You jerked your head up, Silk had returned with another trooper slung over his arm. Once he put the unconscious soldier down, he went back out into the field before you could stop him. 

Kix had found you. He was standing on top of a thick root, back to the tanks, looking over the injured you've collected. Something in him snapped because he shook his head before letting out a cry. Your medic friend began to fire his rifle in the air wildly. 

Tup shot up, “Hey, Kix, put it down! You're wasting aim!” When words didn’t work, he body slammed Kix down to the ground, saving him from the massive foot of a tank.

The Umbaran weapon turned its cannon to where Tup and Kix hit the ground. Before it could annihilate the two, it was hit by a rocket. The explosion caused it to stumble, and its powered up shot hit the branches above your triage area. 

Rex had gotten to your position, standing on a toppled tree that was part of your cover. In his arms was a smoking rocket launcher. Despite the situation, you couldn’t help but think of how handsome he looked. Smoke and ash billowing around him. Back straight, standing tall and determined. You could picture his focused gaze under his helmet now. 

The tank readjusted, stabilizing its huge legs. It focused on the captain and was then joined by the two others. They all charged their shots, ready to destroy Rex completely. You ran towards him, intending to grab his hand and…do something! Save him!

Die with him.

Just as your fingers met his, shots rained down from the dark sky. Two Umbaran starships were shooting wildly. Their guns poured out bright green bolts like water, hitting everything they pointed at. 

You looked up and inside the glowing, round cockpit of the Umbaran ships were Fives and Hardcase! They were laughing, trying to navigate the never-before-seen tech.

They were alive!

“Clear out, captain!”

“The big guns have arrived, sir!”

The 501st captain wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest as the tanks exploded. He leapt from the position on the tree and held you close. 

Their rayshields weren’t made for their own shots it seemed. They buckled and broke, breaking down and exploding from their own weaponry. That didn’t stop them from trying to shoot at the clone controlled air support. Thankfully, Fives and Hardcase were doing a good enough job flying; they managed to avoid getting shot down.

Fives and Hardcase skillfully cleared the field. They managed to keep control well enough to finally destroy the heavy tanks that have taken so many good men. As the burst and exploded, killing the Umbarans inside, there were cheers and celebrations.

“Woo-hoo!”

“Attaboy, Hardcase!” 

“Way to go Fives!”

Once Rex stood to cheer with his brothers, you dashed to Kix. The medic had calmed down and was tending to the injured, “I’m entirely out of bacta and gauze.” He looked up at you, “and I can see you’re out of bandages.” 

You nodded, snapping your focus back on the injured troopers. The fight had been brutal. Even those that had managed to get to you alive, were fading fast. For every soldier you saved, it was like two more perished from their wounds. 

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno. Zeke. Jumper. Aura. Dia.

You repeated their names. Over and over again in your head. As the quiet took over, Kix helped you with the hurt and dying that crawled their way to your position. You didn’t look up, even as reinforcements ran passed to take that fucking airbase.

“Doc, we need help!” Was the only statement that caused you to bring your eyes up. 

Silk managed to stumble from the smoke. His right arm had been ripped off and his chestplate was shattered. His left hand was placed over his stomach, keeping his innards inside his abdomen. 

“Kix!” You practically howled, bolting from where you were tending to Jesse’s gashed wrist. 

You sent Silk out there! You were the one who asked him to risk his life for others! 

Your hands were on him, getting him to the ground, “I got you, Silk. I got you.” You breathed, ripping off the pieces of his armor. Kix was next to you, scrambling to get the situation under control.

Tup had managed to get a hold of the medical speeder. Krell must’ve finally brought it into the gorge when reinforcements were sent in. Ken and Rin were still on the stretcher, but you didn’t pay them any mind as you threw open crates and bags, scrambling to get supplies. 

Bandages. Bacta. Gauze. Sutures.

Supply levels were low. There wasn’t enough for everyone. But you grabbed everything you could and darted back to Silk.

He was still down, but Kix had stopped trying to treat him. The medic removed his helmet and looked at you, sorrow and despair evident. 

“No!” You dropped what was in your hands and immediately straddled Silk. Your hands were on his chest as you began compressions. The cartilage of his ribs cracked and broke as you began CPR. You were in a frenzy to bring him back, throwing his helmet away to pinch his nose and breathe for him.

Something in you broke. The situation finally hit you and your mind shattered. You sent Silk out to find his brothers. Silk returned injured. Dying. It was your fault. You got Silk killed. 

Dogma was right. You had failed so many of these troopers. They relied on you to keep them alive, and you failed in your duty.

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno. Zeke. Jumper. Aura. Dia.

Tears blurred your vision but you weren’t going to stop. Kix said your name, but you ignored him. He grabbed your shoulder, but you shoved him off, “How long!?” you demanded before getting your lips on Silk’s to force air into his lungs. 

“4 minutes,” Kix informed you, “He’s been down for 4 minutes. It’s time to stop.”

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno. Zeke. Jumper. Aura. Dia.

“No it isn’t!” you snapped. Kix looked up at someone who approached. Another injured soldier? He could deal with it. You had to save Silk.

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno. Zeke. Jumper. Aura. Dia.

5 minutes now of compressions. 5 minutes of forcing oxygen into Silk’s lungs. 5 minutes of forcing his heart to beat. Yet it couldn’t function on its own. There was too much damage.

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno. Zeke. Jumper. Aura. Dia.

Someone grabbed you and you howled as if burned. Your compressions stopped to thrash and fight. You weren’t giving up. Not on Silk. Too many have been lost. You couldn’t handle losing one more. 

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno. Zeke. Jumper. Aura. Dia.

Whoever was holding you had fallen backwards, getting both of you to the ground. They called your name, but you refused to listen. You clawed at their armored wrist, trying to get their hold off of you.

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno. Zeke. Jumper. Aura. Dia.

“I’m not giving up!” Tears were running down your cheeks. You’d finally broken. Under the loss. Under the death and destruction of the soldiers you failed to save. You kicked your legs and tried to get out of the arms that had wrapped around your torso. 

Fyre. Vim. Oz. Ringo. North. Gabe. Tro. Tess. Zeb. Sante. Reign. Pheon. Dawn. Nim. Jamie. Hek. Recon. Mav. Zeo. Fisher. Hinge. Trident. Iron. Mesh. Steele. Bruno. Zeke. Jumper. Aura. Dia. Silk. 

Silk.

Silk.

Silk.

“I know.” Their words, Rex’s, finally reached you. He was hugging you from behind so tightly, “I know, Mesh’la. I know.” His helmet was off and he whispered softly into your ear.

Your breath shook as you let out a wretched sob. You’ve lost soldiers before. They’ve died under your care. But never this many. 

Too many. There were too many! 

You wept, leaning into Rex’s chest, “I’m sorry…” you cried out, “I can’t save them. I can’t…I’m sorry Rex…Please…forgive me!” Your begging and pleading devolved into more sobbing. You’ve failed him. You’ve failed the man you loved and all of his brothers.

Rex remained silent, continuing to hold you.

[padawan-jiejie]

Just Yours

Summary: Set between TLJ and TRoS where Supreme leader Kylo Ren decided to take you as his apprentice and you always seem to somehow injure yourself on missions and Kylo is not found of it...

Word Count: 1148

Pairing: Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x apprentice!reader

Warnings: !MyEnglish!, fluffy ending, angry Kylo + one prequel meme quoted (I had to, it was calling for me to dew it)

A/N: This was supposed to be done ages ago and I AM SO SORRY FOR FORGETTING ABOUT IT!!! I apologise to the person who originally requested fanfic like this!!! 😓😓😓 And I’m still not over Kylo... Don’t expect me to be any time soon!!!

This week it was the second time you were headed to the medical wing. Last time you hit yourself in the head and now you had a scratch down the length of your right leg so walking was excruciatingly painful but not impossible. What was indeed impossible was to miss Kylo Ren’s wrath. He was getting tired of your incompetence - as he calls it. You knew him for some time now and although he could be a bit cruel, you saw what he really was on the inside. He tried to appear intimidating and confident and tough but actually not even that deep down he was just as scared as the rest of you. Just as insecure, just as lost. He cared - probably much more than many - yet he didn’t like to show it, which was another reason for you to be scared of his reaction when he hears about your next mission’s failure. But then again, you could take it all in because the more you got to know him, the more you were aware of these feelings for him growing inside you. They don’t justify his action but he never hurt you so...

Just as you were about to go to your room, General Hux called after you.

“Lady Y/L/N! Supreme leader Ren has requested you.”

You sigh. “Alright, Hux, thanks.”

He gave you a fake smile and left. You would like him if he liked you that he didn’t since you were always with Kylo and he hates him. You and Kylo knew how to have a good time together. Sometimes you two would share stories of life or joke around when no one was watching. He still was the Supreme leader after all but when it was just the two of you, he could show you his gentler side. Not often though and right now, you had been arguing a lot with each other and insults were pretty normal at this point. You were sorry for starting it, but HE was the one to continue with it so HE might as well just be the one to end it!

You took a deep breath, trying to slow down your racing heart and entered Kylo’s chamber. He was looking into the stars, ignoring your entrance. With your head low, you walked into the middle of the white room and said: “You wanted to see me, master?”

Kylo turned to you. He took his time responding. He hated to admit it but he was scared for you. You tend to get yourself in trouble and he would not survive it to lose you.

“Y/N can you explain how come you have hurt yourself again?”

“I was not fast enough. I am sorry. It won’t ha-”

“It won’t happen again. Of course. How many times have I already heard that sentence? I stopped counting at twelve.”

You glanced over at him, feeling embarrassed. “I... I don’t...”

“I thought I’ve taught you better than this.”

“Well, maybe if I got any kind of reward for the things that I do against my own will for you, maybe, just maybe, I’d try harder to stay safe! Or maybe you could help me with that one instead?!”

Ren used the Force to freeze you in place. “Isn’t it enough for you to have a place to stay and to know the ways of the Force better than anyone else except for me?”

“It would... But... you act like... you don’t give a damn... about me...”

Kylo let go of you, shocked. You fell to the floor, gasping for air and hissing at the sudden pain in your leg. Your master immediately regretted using the Force on you.

How can she think that I don’t care about her? After all this time? After looking after her? After being there when she cries? After keeping each other’s secrets? After checking on her if she’s okay every time? After all of this, she still thinks she means nothing to me?

Kylo helped you on your feet and pulled you into a tight hug. You hesitantly wrapped your arms around him. He wasn’t really a big hugging buddy so this was sort of new. A surprise to be sure but a welcomed one.

“I thought I was being more obvious.”

“With you, there’s nothing obvious, master.”

“How many times do I have to tell you to call me by my name when we’re alone?”

You looked up at him, your heart starts to beat faster. “You mean... Ben?”

He stayed silent for a moment. He didn’t tell you his real name, but he should have known you’d be smart enough to figure it out.

“I could call you Kylo but wouldn’t it be preferable to be called Ben?”

“Rey calls me Ben.”

That was right into the feels! You knew about the bond that the two had and it made you jealous. You were closer with him much more than Rey was, you were his apprentice, you were his only friend, you genuinely liked him (even with all of his flaw, mistakes and slips) and even at his worst - like a minute ago - you never dared to say he was a monster because you knew that’s not the case and SHE was the one to be connected him and she can call him Ben but you can’t? Not fair!

He sensed your uneasiness as always. “Y/N, I am not the best at expressing my feelings, but already the fact that you are here and she isn’t should tell you all that you need to know.”

“Well, it doesn’t. I wanna hear you say it.”

He caressed your cheeks, admiring the sight in front of him. Rey sure was pretty, but in his eyes, you were the most beautiful in the galaxy far, far away. “I don’t want to see you injured. Not now, not ever. I dearly care about you. You mean so much to me. You are here when no one else it. You understand me and you don’t judge me. You are the closest to perfection that anyone will ever get to and I am sorry for treating you unfairly at times. You don’t deserve it. You truly don’t. I hope you’ll forgive me.”

You smiled and kissed his forehead. “Thanks for telling me. I forgive you and...”

“And?”

“Well, I... I...”

“You?” He knew where this was going and it intrigued him.

“I wouldn’t call this exactly... love but more like... I-I feel kind of... You know, strong affection toward you so... Please, don’t ruin me.”

That was all he needed. He placed his lips on yours, locking them in a sweet kiss. You felt butterflies in your belly and heat crawling up your neck. You gave into the kiss that lasted for so little to your disappointment.

“I would say it’s gonna get the label love sooner or later.”

“I hope so...”

“And it’s Ben for you. But just for you.” Ben connected your lips once again only for a bare second and he whispered: “Just yours.”

[myysaints]

weekend cuddles

armitage hux x reader

summary: it’s a perfect weekend for you, armitage, and of course, millicent the cat.

word count: 522 (minus the bonus scene at the end oho)

note: hello! i’ve been watching a ton of domhnall gleeson interviews and i am in love wth dis man so here- a fluffy hux fic <3 also i just LOVE the idea of calling hux “armie” it’s just too cute. enjoy!

‘Mmm, Armie, don’t you have to get up now?’ you murmur to the ginger beside you, his arm wrapped languidly around your torso, the two of you snuggled up beneath the thick fluffy covers of your shared bed.

‘It’s the weekend,’ he breathes out, scooting closer to you. You hum appreciatively at the warmth his body brings, yelping slightly as Millicent leaps up onto the bed, settling herself atop both your bodies. You laugh and Armitage smiles softly in his sleep.

‘I like you… Like your laugh…’ he mumbles as you trace light circles on his cheekbones, watching his eyelids flutter. You smile, brushing a hand through his bed hair. ‘And I like you too,’ you say, gently getting up so as to not disturb either Armie or Millicent.

You cradle Millicent in your arms, much to her protest, and set her in between you and Armitage as you lie back down. She wriggles around under the blanket, pawing at Armitage’s side. He frowns, opening his eyes blearily.

‘What… What is hitting my… Oh. Good morning to you too, Millie.’ He presses a tender kiss to Millicent’s forehead and she lets out a howl, promptly scampering out of your grip and returning to her cushion under Armitage’s desk. You giggle softly, kissing Armitage’s nose.

‘Don’t worry, you still have me,’ you smile before squealing in glee as he suddenly pulls you close to him, a warm and calloused hand tucking away the hair from your eyes. You admire him like this, sleepy and ever-so-adorable. He swipes a finger over your forehead and you wrinkle your nose playfully.

‘Getting mushy on me now, are you, Armie?’

‘Oh, don’t you tease,’ he grins, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. ‘I get enough of that from Kylo.’

‘But he makes fun of you,’ you frown slightly, ‘While I tease you lovingly.’

Armitage cracks a smile. ‘You love me?’

You blush, turning away from him. ‘Now you’re being a tease,’ you huff, but you can’t stop the smile from creeping up on your face.

‘And yes, I do love you.’ You stick your tongue out at him, taking a peek at his face to survey his expression. He’s gone utterly red, his complexion practically matching his hair. You smile, saying, ‘Cat got your tongue?’

He grabs you by the waist and you shriek giddily, laughing as the covers fly off the bed, landing on the floor in a heap. ‘You mean it?’ he asks, tickling you, grinning. You flail around in bed, weakly trying to escape the flurry of movement his hand trails on your torso, eliciting a fit of giggles.

‘Can’t… breathe…!’ You laugh, shimmying out of his grip, lightly hitting his arm. He lets you go at this, smiling and breathing heavily over you. You smile, dazed and out-of-breath as he swoops down to kiss you like the knight in shining armor he is. You kiss back, smiling.

‘I do mean it,’ you say when you part. ‘That I love you.’ And you do, of course you do.

He smiles softly. ‘I love you too.’

And that’s all you could ever ask for, really.

bonus:

FWUMP

‘Ow! Millie!’

‘Way to ruin the moment, Millie.’

‘Ruin? Are you kidding me? She made it so much better! We’re like a big happy family!’

‘Ah yes- a First Order officer, his adoring and beautiful lover… and their cat. A happy family indeed.’

‘Well, I wouldn’t have it any other way.’

Cue an extra loving laugh from Armitage.

[ashxllbey]

Starman - Poe Dameron x fem!reader - Chapter 4: Feels Like The First Time

GIF by captain-flint

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Word count: ±10.8k Warnings: mild language, alcohol consumption.

The following morning came too fast, but at the same time, not fast enough. Y/N woke up the second her datapad beeped, showing the time. Time to go, start the day.

Meet her new team, and jump into action.

She got dressed quickly, putting on a clean jumpsuit —they had delivered lots of those to her room while she worked on her ship— and a clean, white t-shirt. They smelled faintly of lemon and soap. Such a minute detail, but it made her feel welcomed. The chemical smell of the industrially washed First Order uniform was long gone. This would end up smelling like home; she had no doubt about it.

Even though they probably didn't realize it or did it on purpose, the member of the Resistance — as Y/N would forever call them even though they weren't at war anymore — acted like one big family. They had meals together, took care of one another, and treated their colleagues as equals and not as rivals. And the smell of the washing machine used to clean the grease off the dirty jumpsuits was a tiny yet vital touch to this home-like feeling. It perfectly embodied the values this group seemed to uphold…

Well. Y/N had spent enough time with her collar pressed against her face. If anyone was to walk in, they would find her sniffing her new clothes. That would be weird.

After tying her hair in two braids, Y/N walked out of her room, commlink strapped to her wrist and sleeves of her orange, shapeless blob of a uniform tied around her waist. She was in an excellent mood, even though she was beyond stressed out about the upcoming meeting. The pilot had slept like a log and was well-rested. She had brushed aside some of her first-day jitters after she had realized the meeting with Poe had happened earlier than expected.

The pilot had no idea if he had done it on purpose to put her at ease, but she was grateful either way.

With a soft smile on her face, she waltzed into the cafeteria. It was packed with groggy people and half-asleep technicians, nodding off over their datapad. Y/N stopped near the entrance, eyeing the room to find-

"DUCKLING! Over here!"

Of course, he had found her first.

A hand shot up from the mass of orange bodies, followed by a bearded face. Some people shot her dark looks as she walked past them, but she decided not to pay attention. She was in too good of a mood. It was her first official day as a pilot! No amount of hate could bring her down.

After slaloming between sleepy workers, she managed to reach Skylen's table. He was sitting with a group of people she didn't know. Some were pilots. Some were clad in the dark suits the mechanics wore. The man shot her a bright smile and patted the empty space beside him.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty! Ready to kick this day in the ass?"

Y/N chuckled at his colorful language but nodded nonetheless.

"After I eat something and grab a big cup of coffee, yeah."

Skylen protectively wrapped his hand around his own mug.

"Over there, by the counter. The machine's a bit tricky to handle, though. I would show you, but frankly, I don't want to drink mine cold. I'm sure you'll manage."

Well, so much about helping each other out. Y/N grimaced.

"I understand. Save me this seat, okay? By the way, where's Klana?"

"She gets up early to run around the base a bit. She'll join us for the debrief,"  Skylen said. How could she find the strength to jog this early in the morning?! Y/N was barely a functioning human without her daily coffee shot.

Y/N made her way toward the counter, where she found the machine that was, miraculously, unoccupied at the moment. She made a beeline for it and stood in front of it… Only to curse under her breath. How was she supposed to use it?

As she grabbed a mug (that was a wonderful first step), she noticed someone had taped a piece of paper to the wall. In old ink, it read 'Press red button until the machine beeps, then press the green one once.' Y/N smiled. No doubt someone had taken pity on the newcomers a while ago and made the sign. She sent them a thankful mental note and followed the instructions carefully. A few moments later, her coffee was ready. Y/N eagerly picked up the mug, put it on a tray, and walked toward the cook droid.

"Hey! How are you today?"  She asked cheerfully. She didn't know if the robot was programmed to make small talk, but it didn't matter. She would try.

"I am feeling good. Do you want eggs or Nabooian pancakes?"

So much for the small talk.

Y/N cleared the line as soon as her plate was full of pancakes and walked back to her seat. Skylen was done with his breakfast already, but he was still seated and enthusiastically speaking with one of his friends. Y/N silently slid on the bench and took a big sip of the burning hot liquid.

Ahhh. That was as close to heaven as it could get.

"Hey! Duckling! Let me introduce you. I hope you brought a notepad with ya because you're gonna learn a lot of new names today. Nobody will blame ya if you mess them up. I still do years later."

She snorted and put her mug down.

"Is that supposed to reassure me?"

Skylen rolled his blue eyes.

"Someone's awfully sarcastic today. And here I was being nice!"

Someone laughed by his side. Y/N leaned forward to see who it was. A woman, in her early forties, with deep chocolate skin and silky black hair. She had bright blue eyes and stared at Skylen with an unimpressed look.

"Don't listen to the drama queen. I'm Mala. We've met very briefly yesterday. I'm part of Green squad."

Y/N remembered and shot the woman a warm smile. Skylen took it as his cue to take back control of the conversation. He leaned forward to block Y/N's view; the woman rolled her eyes.

"As I was saying… This is Mala. The guy you flew with yesterday is Kloon. Trained in emergency medicine. You'll see Petrov later; he's weird as heck. Whatever you do, don't bring up his bald head."

…What?

She really should have brought a notepad with her.

While stuffing her face with the pancakes, Y/N listened intently to Skylen. He introduced her to a technician she was sure she had seen yelling at his colleague the day prior, and a mechanic Y/N had seen in the garage when she had left. Then, her eyes fell on a familiar face.

"This is Varun. He and his team handle the repairs on our squad's ships. You'll see him around a lot. He saved my ass countless times and fixed the ship in record time. Pretty sure we would have blown up already if it wasn't for his magic fingers."

The mechanic wiggled said fingers to prove Skylen's point and sent her a bright smile. He was young; younger than her, even if it was only by a couple of years.

"Nice to see you again! You did a great job with your ship's engine. Even with Dameron distracting you. We're gonna make a decent mechanic out of you, I'm telling you!"

Oh, no. What had he done?

He didn't seem to realize how badly he had screwed up until Skylen hit the table with his closed fist, drawing attention from a couple of passersby. Y/N didn't necessarily want anyone to know she had run into Poe. She had, after all, made a fool of herself.

And here had she hoped it would have gone unnoticed. Apparently not.

"Wait- you met the General? When? Where? And how come I don't know about it yet? I want the details, Duckling! And I want them yesterday!"

For such a big guy with a gruff look on him, Skylen acted like a damn teenage girl. Y/N rolled her eyes, toying with the rest of her pancakes. There was no escaping this one. She sighed and put her fork down, glancing up. Six pairs of eyes were staring at her. The woman nervously tightened one of her braids, which was particularly useless considering they hadn't budged.

"Well. He crept up on me after you left. And I made a fool of myself because I repeated what you told me. I told him I had my doubts about him being the best pilot of the Galaxy and he laughed. Mind you, I didn't know who he was because SOMEONE forgot to tell me what he looks like,"  she added, glaring at Skylen. The pilot merely smiled innocently.

"Actually, I do recall you saying something along the lines of 'I'll believe it when I see it' and Poe laughing his ass off,"  Varun interrupted. Laughter rose from the small group and Y/N grunted.

"Whose side are you on?! I didn't know who he was! And he was teasing me. I thought he was one of those overly confident pilots I've seen so many times. I couldn't have known!"

As they laughed wholeheartedly, Y/N couldn't help but thank the stars he didn't have a short temper. Some people didn't take very nicely the doubts that were thrown their way. She internally winced, remembering how badly it had gone the last time she had accidentally made fun of one of her superiors. The blaster burn on her ankle was here to back her claims.

But the more time she spent with her new teammates, the more she realized she had to let go of her irrational fears. Constantly comparing them to the troopers she had lived with wasn't fair on anyone, and it wouldn't help her move on.

Could she, though? The wound the First Order had left in her soul was so deep that she was pretty sure nothing could heal it. The fear, the disgust, was so deeply rooted in her person that they would always be there. But she couldn't let them have a hold on her. Skylen was not Zulu, Finn wasn't Hux, and Poe wasn't Kylo. The kindness in his eyes showed as much.

Lost in her thoughts, she hadn't realized her bearded companion was talking to her until she felt something touch her shoulder. She jumped, startled, and immediately grabbed her knife to defend herself-

"I'm sure he didn't take it too personally! Poe is a lot of things, but he doesn't hold a grudge."

She relaxed when she realized there was no danger in sight and dropped the knife back on the plate as discreetly as she could; before smiling softly.

"He laughed it off. Told me I would soon see just how good he was."

And, to be honest, she was looking forward to it. The last time she had been part of a unit, it was under strict circumstances; follow the orders, don't question them. She followed Ren's, and her team followed hers. There was no playful competition in the ranks. But this time, they were encouraged to challenge one another and themselves, too. And from what Finn had told her, Poe was in dire need of some competition…

She would gladly deliver.

"Well, Duckling, you're in luck because the time is upon us. We gotta move out of here or we're gonna be late for the first debrief. After the catastrophic first impression you made on him yesterday, we wouldn't want to give him a reason to tease you even more, now, would we?"

Y/N raised her middle finger as her only answer and walked out of the room, Skylen's cackles following her as she marched out.

He was insufferable.

It was a beautiful day outside, and the woman was glad to enjoy it. She liked space, she really did - but sometimes, the empty vastness was cold and lonely. Kuat was anything but; it was a warm, sunny planet. Birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and light bounced off the X-Wings' freshly-cleaned fuselages. As Skylen had predicted, Klana joined them, her forehead covered in a thin layer of sweat she had quickly wiped off when her Commander had teased her about it. The sun warmed up Y/N's skin; the woman took in a deep breath of fresh air as they stepped outside.

The X-Wings were lined up, squeaky clean, and ready for takeoff. Small scraps could still be seen, war wounds collected during countless fights they either couldn't or didn't want to erase. Much like actual scars or tattoos, X-Wings had physical reminders of their battles, too. Y/N found that to be very poetic. And although she wasn't looking forward to damaging her brand new ship, she was eager to experience new adventures with her and see what memories they would make together.

Her eyes were drawn to her own ship, which was the closest to the door. It had been freshly painted, or at least, the paint job had gotten a lifting. It was stunning, undoubtedly pampered during the night by the team of mechanics.

As they walked past it, Y/N took a look at the other ships. Most of them were similar to hers, but one was very different; black and orange, the most recent model of the fleet; she would have bet her hand that it was Poe's.

It was funny to her how Poe-like the ship was. Dark like his curls, orange like his droid and his suit. She smiled softly. The man was an open book.

And the aforementioned pilot was standing a bit further, speaking with a Togruta. BB-8 stood by his side; the little ball perked up when he heard the newcomers.

"Little booger! How've you been?"

Skylen ran forward and dropped to his knees, affectionately rubbing the little droid's head. Klana chuckled.

"Everyone loves BeeBee, I swear. He and Poe are the perfect duo."

Y/N glanced at her new friend. She was watching Skylen with soft eyes and even though she was pretending to be annoyed by his loud display of affection, the tiniest smile was tugging at her lips. Y/N snorted.

"I mean... he  is  adorable."

"Not you, too! " Klana answered, eyes wide in feigned shock. The two women shared a laugh which got Poe's attention. He turned his head toward them and shot them a boyish grin. He reached the pilots in a few steps. He was wearing the same flight suit Y/N had seen him with the day before, but his curls were slightly more tamed and he had shaved.

"Klan, it's good to see you,"  he started before his eyes fell on Y/N. Although she felt very self-conscious and nervous, considering how they had met and what was at stake that day, the woman didn't look away. Poe grinned.

"Y/N. I hope you're ready to have your mind blown."

Was his cocky self always invited to the party? The pilot couldn't help it and rolled her eyes. She flinched immediately and involuntarily, expecting to be scolded, but Poe didn't say anything. The moment of doubt was over as fast as it came and the pilot answered:

"Sure thing, General. I was warned about friendly fire, after all."

He laughed and clamped her shoulder, a habit she had already noticed.

"Your sarcasm will fit right in with Skylen's. No wonder you two hit it off."

The aforementioned pilot was still cooing at BB-8, who looked very happy to be the center of attention. Poe squeezed her arm and added:

"Also, the first rule of the squad: you only call me Poe. General was Leia's moniker."

Yikes. That wasn't something Y/N was used to, and she would slip up without a doubt. Her military rigor was deeply rooted in her core function, and calling someone by something else than their title when they were above her was unsettling.

"Yes, Gen- Poe."

He chuckled again and let go of Y/N's arm, focusing his hazel gaze on Klana instead. The curly woman was watching silently with visible amusement.

"She's funny,"  he said, and the woman smiled.

"And you can also tell by her body language she's incredibly uncomfortable, Poe. It's her first day. Go easy on her."

Was she that easy to read?! But a quick look down showed her that she was standing with her weight on one foot, and she had her arms crossed.

So much for appearing confident.

Poe didn't seem to mind and smiled warmly. Did he ever stop smiling?

"No need for that. We don't bite. At least not before the third date."

Uh-oh; he was charming, sassy, AND a flirt with anyone he met. That wasn't a good combination. Klana snorted, and the man turned around, letting out an audible —yet exaggerated— groan.

"Come on, Blue. Leave my droid alone. He is purring so bad he's gonna turn into a Loth Cat."

"Not my fault he is cuter than you!"  Skylen retorted as BB-8 beeped in approval. He was genuinely the mascot of the squad. Poe rolled his eyes playfully before he clapped loudly.

"Gather round, everyone!"

Y/N walked closer to Skylen, and the three pilots stood near an X-Wing as the other squad members got closer. Poe stood in the middle of the newly-formed circle, not bothered by the amount of attention on him. Y/N stood by Klana's side, slightly behind her. 

She didn't really enjoy attention in any way, shape, or form. And she knew that as the newest member, eyes would be on her soon enough anyway. Might as well enjoy standing on the side for as long as she could. Maybe, one day, when she wasn't new anymore, she could get more confident. Like she used to be before the… incident.

This seemed like it was a thousand years ago. Maybe it was. The Y/N back then was a different person. The years hadn't been kind to her and the guilt she carried.

"As you know,"  Poe's voice interrupted,  "ever since Ara went on maternity leave, we've been down one ship. That's no longer the case. Y/N will be joining Blue squad under my orders. Every single one of you is gonna fly with her, so I suggest you get to know one another. I don't want to hear anything about whatever stupid rumor has been floating around. I trust you to be better than that, or I'll kick your asses, no questions asked."

That was one hell of an introduction. Y/N winced, but there were no complaints.

"I've seen her fly. She's good. That's all I give a crap about,"  Skylen perked up. They nodded in agreement, and the woman smiled. This guy was a blessing.

She wouldn't tell him, though, because he would probably get cockier than he already was.

"What was your test run time, Rookie?"  A woman asked. Y/N took it as her cue to walk forward, standing inside the circle and forcing herself not to look down.

"Four two."

Appreciative whistles were the only answer she got from the other female pilot. Poe nodded, visibly satisfied.

"Okay, that's good enough for me. Better than  my  test run back in the day, I'll tell you that much,"  another guy said.

"Not as good as mine, but hey, I'm impressed. You're not too far off."

Y/N turned her gaze to her leader. He was obviously waiting for her reaction, expecting her to ask him about it. She didn't want to feed his ego like that, but Y/N was also curious.

"Alright, I'll bite. What was your time, Gen- Poe?"

He gave her a boyish grin.

"Three fifty-four."

Kriffing Hell. The guy was outstanding.

And he was aware of it, judging by how big his grin was. Y/N didn't say anything back, biting away every snarky clawback that had crossed her mind. Challenging the General to a fly-off would NOT be her smartest moment, and she had had quite a lot of the 'I'm so stupid' ones. Making a fool of herself on the first day was not something she wanted.

Poe then made the introductions, listing everyone's names and positions. He explained she would be number four, flying on the side when they formed the regular, star-shaped formation. She was okay with that.

"Normally, I would have waited for you to get a crash course in flight strategy, but considering what you did for a living, I'm assuming you understand what I'm talking about,"  he'd said, and Y/N had nodded in response. She had been where he was, a long time ago. She remembered every single detail of her flights.

She couldn't have forgotten them even if she had wanted to anyway.

Explosions and falling ships flashed behind her eyelids. For a second, Poe's voice was covered by the screams she had once heard. She shook her head. Now was not the time.

"Okay! Now, for today's missions. BeeBee, show us the map, please."

The little ball rolled forward and projected a hologram on the ground.

"This is a routine check-in. The Senate has us patrolling in the deeper areas they can't control, the ones we haven't checked for war refugees yet. Green squad, Blue will take you to the right side of the planet. You need to scan the surface for any life forms; there shouldn't be any. Blue squad, we're going left, same job. Keep your eyes open, it should be deserted, but we might run into unexpected trouble. Are we all good?"

Everyone nodded, and Y/N's heart started beating faster. That was it. They were really doing it! Her first mission. Nothing too exciting, but her nerves felt like a million tiny, raw wires. It was a big deal.

A comforting hand landed on her shoulder, and her eyes met Poe's. He was smiling at her.

"You've got this, Y/N."

Simple words, but they sent a shockwave down her spine. Y/N gave him a single nod, and the brown-haired man winked before walking to his X-Wing. She imitated Poe, just as the mechanics came out of the garage, followed by the astromech droids. Y/N was assigned to a red R2 unit she waved at when it was loaded into her ship. She climbed up the ladder, zipped her jumpsuit up, and grabbed the helmet they had put into the cockpit. It looked exactly like her ship: blue and white. She smiled. From then on, it would be hers forever.

Or until she got blown up in space, whichever came first.

The transparisteel canopy closed on her, blocking every sound coming from outside of the cockpit. She was alone in the cramped space, but she didn't mind. She had always liked it. It was her, her skills, and her ship against the rest of the world.

Her commlink crackled with an incoming private message and she took the call.

"Try not to get starstruck when you see Dameron flying, Duckling."

Y/N rolled her eyes. Of course, Skylen would make a snarky comment right before they took off.

She turned her head right, seeing her friend grinning at her from the X-Wing next to hers. The woman hung up on him and flipped him off. She saw him laughing and could very much hear him in the back of her head. Prick. Why was he teasing her that much anyway?

Truth be told, Y/N understood why. Poe Dameron was the Poster boy of the Resistance, legendary pilot, and all-around badass. The new pilot wasn't stupid enough not to see how women and men alike swooned over him. But she wasn't one to get starstruck. He was a pilot before anything else and would expect her to be nothing but perfectly professional: yes, she might have been impressed by the rumored skills he had - but that was it. She wasn't going to act like a schoolgirl with a crush, she barely knew the guy anyway, and he was too flirty with everyone to her liking.

Why was she thinking about that, anyway?!

"Alright, squads. We're cleared for takeoff."

She powered her ship on, and a few moments later, the ten pilots were in the air. Y/N swiftly took her mark, and both squadrons reached the vastness of space. 

One second later, they disappeared with a white flash as they jumped into hyperspace.

————————————————————————————————————

When they landed, hours later, Y/N was relieved to take off her helmet. The damn thing was crushing her skull.

The smile on her face, however, didn't come off with the tight headpiece.

The mission had been boring — Poe's words — and uneventful. The planet they had scanned was empty, a lifeless rock swooped by strong winds. The flight had gone without a hitch, the only thing worth mentioning being the asteroid field they had had to cross to reach their destination. It wasn't very dense and although it took them half an hour to get through, it wasn't challenging. Poe had seemed impressed enough with Y/N's abilities to point them out, though, and the woman had felt the weight on her shoulder lift. She had been afraid to screw up out of sheer nervousness. He  would  have reconsidered his decision! But nothing had happened.

And now, Y/N was grinning proudly. She fist-bumped in the air and let out a happy yelp before pushing the cockpit opening button. Giddy with happiness, her nervosity long forgotten, she leaned across the open canopy and gave a thumbs up to the droid before jumping down (almost missing a rung and breaking her neck) on the ground. Her hair was messy, and baby hair stuck out of her ponytail. It was slightly greasy from being stuck under the hardened hat for so long, but she didn't care. Skylen's ship had landed right before hers, and the man was already making her way toward her-

"YOU DID IT!"

…But Klana got here first. The black-haired pilot jumped up and down and wrapped the other woman in a tight hug, something she seemed to be doing a lot.

"I'm so proud of you! See? Nothing to be worried about! You looked so nervous earlier while you were talking with Poe. But I knew you belonged in this squad!"

She squished her against her chest, and Y/N let out a breathy "what are you doing?"

"I'm hugging you. Don't fight."

Okay, then. Y/N chuckled and wrapped her arms around Klana. When was the last time she had gotten a hug?

…Never?

Wow, that was sad.

"Yeah, yeah. We're all happy Duckling didn't make a fool of herself in front of Dameron when she wanted to impress him, huh?"  Skylen chimed in, and Y/N felt more than she saw Klana glaring at him.

"Don't be an asshole, Skylen!"  she answered indignantly.  "You were a mess too on your first day."

The man cackled as the two women broke their hug. Y/N huffed and rolled her eyes.

"I did NOT want to impress him, Kriff. I just wanted to prove that I was good enough to be there."

"Sounds an awful lot like impressing him."  He answered with a dismissive shrug.  "It's okay to have a crush-"

Wowowowow where did THAT COME FROM?!

Y/N chocked on air indignantly, coughed, and choked again. Skylen and Klana exchanged a look and burst out laughing.

"You should have seen your face! Hah! I was just teasing you. Or was I?"

Oh, come on! One day there, and they were already annoying her to death?

"I'm not even answering that. You're an idiot,"  Y/N huffed. The bearded man cackled once again.

"Ah, don't worry, half of the base has a crush on him; you definitely wouldn't be the only one. I was just messing with ya, Duckling."

She narrowed her eyes at him. And before she could stop herself, she quipped:

"Sure, Furball."

Skylen stopped laughing immediately and stared at her, eyes wide as plates.

"You... what?"

Uh-oh. Had she gone too far? No, he had given her a nickname an hour after they had met; he couldn't be offended, could he?

Ah, who cared: he had it coming!

"Furball. Because you have hair everywhere. If I have a nickname, you deserve one, too."

The two older pilots stared at each other, mouths agape. Y/N frowned. What the hell-

"Maker! She gave me a nickname! We're officially best friends!"

...He was unhinged.

Y/N rolled her eyes as Skylen wiped a fake tear from his eye.

"Am I interrupting?"

The three jumped and turned around, only to find Poe standing with his arms crossed and both eyebrows raised. He looked amused.

...How long had he been standing there?

"We, uh,"  Y/N said before she could stop herself.  "We're not talking about you."

Talk about being subtle… Poe blinked once, twice, and laughed.

"Okay then. I wanted to let you three know that we're having a party tonight. A bonfire in the forest outside the base, to celebrate the newbies making it into the squads. That means you, Y/N,"  he added.

Skylen let out a happy "yes" and Klana fist-bumped him, but Y/N only furrowed her brows in confusion.

"I... that's nice. I just don't really see what's to celebrate; you have newcomers all the time, don't you?"

Poe looked at her for a moment, and the woman feared she had said something offensive. Her two friends had shared a look of... pain? Sadness? She didn't know. Their General nodded toward the deserted airfield.

"Walk with me for a bit?"

Of course, she had said yes, and the four of them had parted ways. Klana and Skylen had gone off to get ready for the bonfire; Poe and Y/N walked down the airfield along the building's wall. The sun was setting, painting the usually cold concrete with beautiful shades of red and pink. Poe was silent for a moment, which was out of character for him; Y/N was sure of it.

"You handled yourself pretty well today. They made the right call, assigning you to my squad."

Another compliment? Was she dreaming? Or was it normal but she had been deprived of any form of recognition for so long she had forgotten it even existed?

...Had she been praised by Ren, even once? Had she been told he was proud of her?

No, of course not.

"Thanks, Gen- Poe,"  she corrected herself. He gave her a crooked smile.

"You're having a hard time remembering my name, huh? That doesn't usually happen. Should I be offended?"

Y/N snorted but shook her head no. What a flirt.

"I'm sorry. I'm used to people being super sensitive about their titles. If you called someone by the wrong rank, you could be killed. Especially people like Kylo Ren."

His outbursts were well-known.

Poe nodded thoughtfully and took a second before answering:

"I've always hated the guy. He went full-on emo crap and killed a lot of my friends. Just because he wanted revenge."

He huffed and shook his head. His hazel eyes had a glimmer of pain in them. This man was exhausted from losing people.

She could relate.

"That's actually the reason we have those parties. Not Ren's obsession with black. The dying thing."  He added, a smile tugging at his lips.  "I didn't want to say it in front of the others because I don't want to open old wounds, but... you deserve to know."

They had reached the end of the wall. From there, it was only a forest. Poe stopped to look at it for a second. His expression was thoughtful. The wind was gently rustling through the leaves and through the strands of his black hair.

"During the war, we had nothing. We were barely surviving. The number of people in our ranks kept decreasing because they kept killing more of us. And each successful mission was an excuse to celebrate. Leia used to say it boosted our morals. I think she was right."

He turned to her. His eyes were full of determination.

"Finn and I kept the tradition. It's a way to bring everyone together. This way, we don't forget. And you never know what could happen in the future. If this damn war taught me anything, it's that you can't take things for granted. For all we know, things could go to hell tomorrow morning. Might as well celebrate while we can."

This was... awfully accurate. Y/N didn't say anything. She understood. Soldiers, and pilots especially, tended to have a shorter lifespan.

"I'm not usually this depressing, I swear,"  he laughed.  "But you're one of us now. You need to understand."

"I do,"  she immediately answered.

Poe raised a curious brow, and Y/N sighed. She hadn't planned on telling him - or anyone - about it, but...

"We never had parties, obviously. But whenever we lost someone, we would have a wake. Play Sabacc, darts. Drink. It was the only time we behaved like actual humans with one another."

She pushed back a loose stray of hair away from her face. The memories of the few evenings they had spent laughing would never leave her. They were among the only moments in the First Order she didn't regret playing a role in.

"To you, they were the enemy. To me, they were friends. They weren't good people. But they were all I had. We all knew we were disposable, so celebrating making it through another fight was the closest thing we had to existing. I had it easy since I was an officer, but…"

That wasn't exactly true. If anything, Ren was harder on her because she was leading her squadron. He was her direct superior officer. If Y/N screwed up anything, she had to deal with his anger.

And the woman knew very well how that usually ended.

"I'm just trying to say... I'm glad you're doing that. It's nice to matter again to the commanding chain,"  she added with a chuckle, but it didn't hold any humor. It was an empty sound, and Poe wasn't stupid. He knew she wasn't joking.

But it wasn't his place to push it. Not for now, at least.

Instead, he chuckled with her out of politeness. It amazed him how easily he could fake his emotions. Maybe it came with being a General.

"Hey, we're always glad to have an excuse to drink. Especially since we're not going out tomorrow. Also, it's way easier to get your hands on alcohol now than it used to be. So let's go, get ready, and let your hair down a bit. The last two days have been eventful for you, and you deserve to relax, 'Kay?"

He winked, patted her shoulder as he usually did, and walked away, leaving Y/N to admire the beautiful, painting-like view of the forest. The deep shades of green swirled together in perfect harmony, and the wind rustling through the leaves was music to her ears. Kuat really was a nice planet, especially now that it had been cured of the gangrene of the war. Nature had taken back its power, and it gently wrapped anyone who would listen in a blanket of peacefulness. Y/N had always loved the outdoors. There was something both thrilling and calming in the vastness of the uncharted lands one could visit, should they seek them.

Her talk with Poe had given her a sense of usefulness, and the scenery was giving her mind the gift of peacefulness. The woman had never felt so at ease before. Everything, from the base to the people, was welcoming. Light years away from the coldness and disdain of the white corridors she had roamed, clad in her black, fitted uniform. The star destroyer had always had a certain surgical vibe. Squeaky clean, impersonal, military, hostile to the human feelings and thoughts one could have.

But Kuat felt like home already. And the woman was slightly scared to realize it. Because, really, Poe was right; it could end as it had begun; everything could crumble to ashes in a day. For all she knew, Y/N could be forced to leave the following morning. Was she ready for the heartbreak? Would it be worth it?

Her commlink beeped before she could think about it, and she glanced down at her wrist. Klana had sent her a message.

Take a shower and meet me in my room! You probably don't have many casual clothes yet. I'll lend you some.

The woman was a gift. Her dark thoughts were pushed away as the pilot smiled unwillingly and, with one last look at the murmuring forest, she turned away and started walking toward the base.

It took her only five minutes to get to her room and five more to shower. Another five to put on her trusty leather jacket, a plain shirt, and a jumpsuit she tied around her midsection so she wouldn't walk pantless. It wasn't the most glamorous thing she had ever worn, but she hadn't had time to get herself some new possessions. On her next day off, she would have to hit the town and use the pile of credits she had stacked in her top drawer. She had almost died for the damn thing, might as well find it some utility.

It took her a while to reach Klana's room. It wasn't in the same sector she had her own room in, and Y/N took so many wrong turns that when he finally reached her destination (after kindly asking a poor technician to point her in the right direction), her head was spinning.

So much for being convinced she could find her way easily.

She knocked and the smiling face of her friend appeared as the door whooshed open.

"Come in!"  Klana said and dragged her inside before the other woman could get a word out.

The pilot's room was full of trinkets, undoubtedly collected during her travels. It was also bigger than Y/N's, as excepted. The dresser was covered in pictures and posters, and necklaces were pinned to the corners of the piece of furniture, dangling softly as Klana moved around the room. She had several jars of sand on her desk, some of them coarse and red, others thin and white.

The whole place screamed "travel" to Y/N. And to someone who had never really taken the time to enjoy the scenery of the planets she had visited since she was always on the run, it was a sight for sore eyes.

"Kriff, don't take it the wrong way, but this look is not working in your favor. Showing up like this at the bonfire will win you a one-way ticket to the butt of everyone's jokes."

Well. Y/N had not expected a military base to care that much about looks. Were they all secretly into fashion? She didn't think so. The woman usually dressed practically whenever she wasn't wearing a uniform - which wasn't too often. There were far more interesting things to care about than a bunch of clothes…

Klana must have sensed her hesitation because she giggled playfully.

"Relax. I'm not going to have you wear a dress. But Poe told you why we're having this party, didn't he? We don't get too many occasions to dress nicely. If you want to fit in like I know you do, you'll need to look the part."

It seemed the woman had an undeniable talent for reading someone's thoughts. And she looked determined to make Y/N a full-time member of the family she had chosen. Why she was so kind to her, the woman didn't know, but she was grateful nonetheless.

Y/N watched as her sun-kissed comrade rummaged through her closet, the pendants dangling dangerously faster. How they hadn't fallen off yet was a mystery.

A piece of clothing hit her face, and the ex-officer jumped, startled. She grabbed her attacker: a simple pair of leather pants.

"No, that won't do. No. Too pink…"

She shuddered upon hearing the word 'pink,' suddenly aware that she was at Klana's mercy. Fortunately, her new friend seemed kind enough to spare her the torture of wearing such a color.

"So… How long have you been in the Resistance for?"  Y/N asked, eager to create a diversion and — hopefully — avoid getting hit with a matching pink top. Klana's voice came muffled as she leaned forward, looking inside the closet.

"Years. I'm older than you are, and I was a Senatorial advisor before. I joined the very day Leia created it. Didn't even think about it twice… Ah! This will do."

She threw something else, and this time, Y/N was ready. Getting slapped in the face once by a flying piece of clothing was embarrassing enough already. All the woman could do at the moment was wait for the storm to pass. Klana was obviously not done yet.

"I didn't become a pilot on the spot, though. I actually served in communications before. I joined Skylen's squad a few months ago only. We were out on a mission, and I was their translator. We got ambushed and had to get out of here. The guys were too busy shooting so I had to fly the ship myself. They told me I was a natural, and Poe had me trained."

Even though she had her back facing Y/N, the new pilot knew she was smiling. It was pretty evident that Klana was fond of Poe. But then again, it was hard to dislike the man.

Without any warning, she suddenly turned around, holding a pair of shoes in her left hand. She had her brows furrowed.

"I know people tell me I'm too friendly. They call me clingy. I can't help it. I just…"

She let out a sigh, and her curls bounced sadly around her face as her brown eyes gazed down.

"I know what it's like to be the newbie and to be all alone. I wouldn't wish that to anyone."

With a shy smile, she handed the shoes to Y/N, who balanced them on top of the pile she already had in her arms.

"I'm sorry if I'm weird. You just seemed anxious, and I thought I could help-"

"Hey,"  Y/N interrupted, waving her hand the best she could while holding the pile of clothes.  "You're not weird. You are very nice, very friendly, and you've made me feel welcome. Don't doubt yourself because some idiot couldn't appreciate what you're doing for all of us."

Klana turned bright pink. She was such a sweet soul; Y/N hated how someone had made her feel like a burden. Kind people were rare. She hadn't come across many of them in her lifetime, and definitely not during her working years.

"Oh. That is nice of you to say. I'm glad. Now come on! The bathroom's this way. Go and get changed! We don't want to be late, or all the good booze will be gone."

That would be a tragedy indeed. Y/N hurried off to the small room and changed as instructed. Klana had a good eye, that was for sure; the clothes fit like a glove. The outfit was simple, made of tight leather pants, a sleeveless turtleneck shirt, a belt, and knee-high black boots. She put her jacket back on and let her hair loose. The woman felt… good. Not as self-conscious as she had expected to feel. And the alcohol would take care of the remaining anxiety.

The door opened with a whoosh, and she carefully stepped back inside the room. Klana sat on the bed, her natural curls out of their ponytail. She smiled brightly.

"You look awesome! It's been so long since anyone let me dress them up… The others usually don't have time for it."

For someone so friendly, she sure seemed to be lonelier than Y/N had expected. She felt a pang of sympathy for her fellow pilot. It was obvious she was doing her best to be nice to others, and make them feel invested in the base's life, so why didn't they reciprocate her efforts? Y/N would have given all she had (which was not much) to have someone care even slightly as much as Klana did.

The pilot wasn't a social person, but she felt the need to try, as she had the day before during the flying tests.

And she had the answer to her question.

Sure, it could all disappear the following day or the day after. But these people deserved to be befriended. They hadn't let the possibility of upcoming death scare them, so why should Y/N be?

"You can dress me up whenever you want, Klana."

The smile she got as an answer was the only confirmation she needed to know she had made the right choice.

The two women had made their way through the hallways (or, really, Klana had: Y/N had just followed like the clueless puppy she still was) to the landing strip. Someone had lit up a path, which was much welcomed as the sun began to set on Kuat. Fireflies joined the bright lights, fluttering off in the evening sky. They crossed paths with many other soldiers, and they all seemed happy. Nobody glared at her or whispered as Y/N walked past them. It was as if they were different people.

Klana had the right idea to dress up. It looked like everyone had left their soldier personas in their quarters.

As they got closer to the forest, music filled the air, followed by laughter. Y/N had no idea where the clearing was — she hoped it wasn't too far away. She was parched.

Fortunately, they only had to walk for a few moments before reaching the clearing.

It was stunning. Really wide, with a huge fire in the middle. Tables had been put out near the trees, and they were covered with bottles, glasses, and food. Someone had hung fairy lights to the lower branches, and a droid was blasting some music. The party Wass already in full swing, even though Y/N was sure it had started not too long ago.

"Y/N! Klana!"

As soon as they had stepped foot inside the clearing, someone had called them both. It took less than a second to put a face on the voice as Finn appeared, grinning happily.

"I'm glad you're here! I heard the mission went well; congratulations! Oh, no, I've done it again. Sorry, I'm not supposed to talk about that. This is a party, after all. Poe is gonna kick my ass if he hears me."

Finn was always in a good mood and Y/N found herself smiling, too. She had instantly liked him. He was a very nice man and probably the only person she could relate to.

"Welcome home, then! This is for you newbies. Drinks are on us! We're happy to have you, you know. You're all nice people. But I'm really looking forward to getting to know you. If you need anything, let me know, okay?"

Before Y/N could answer his speech, someone called his name, and the General disappeared. The two women exchanged an amused glance.

"Is he always this… This…"

"This much  Finn ? Pretty much. He and Poe have so much energy, I don't know how they do it,"  Klana answered with a laugh.

They joined their usual hangout group, made of both of their squads. Skylen was already there, as expected, and already pretty tipsy.

Again, as expected.

"DUCKLING! You clean up nice!"  He said with a laugh, swinging his drink carelessly. Some of it spilled to the ground, but Skylen didn't care.

"Someone get her a drink, folks! We gotta have one together! Mala, get the lady some Prow."

Mala obliged, not without rolling her eyes, but Skylen didn't care. He was grinning happily, and Y/N laughed.

"You know, Duckling, I'm glad you're here, y'know? You're funny. I like you."

He draped his arms around the shoulders of both women and awkwardly hugged them.

"You are drunk, Commander,"  Klana stated, and Y/N snorted as the man turned indignantly toward his friend.

"I'm TIPSY, Klan'. Maker, you people are kriffing boring! Okay! Here are your glasses! Y/N, you gotta… You gotta drink it up in one go! EVERYONE, GATHER AROUND! We're having a welcome drink!"

And off he went. Y/N burst out laughing.

"What the Hell?"  She asked as Klana just groaned playfully.

"It's a tradition. We line up six shots of Garrmorl, and you have to knock them back without taking a break."

Kriff.

All things considered, Y/N wasn't going to die blown up in her X-Wing. Skylen was going to be the death of her.

She handed her liquor pretty well, but Garrmorl was… Well. She didn't have the best history with the drink.

But it was tradition, right?

Y/N watched anxiously as Skylen carefully poured —with surprising agility, considering how kriffing inebriated he was— six full glasses of alcohol.

Oh, Maker.

She winced, and her face contorted in pure anxiety. This would not end well. Her discomfort was apparent enough for Klana to gently touch her arm.

"Hey. If you don't want to do it, Skylen will be more than happy to drink them for you."

Y/N opened her mouth to answer — to express how bad she would feel if she exposed her new teammates to her drunken ass — but her eyes accidentally found a silhouette making its way through the crowd.

Poe.

Dang it. Now Y/N couldn't say no.

It was a slightly unhealthy thing to seek approval as she did. But she genuinely wanted to make everything right. To fit right in. It was a bit sad, really, to be that desperate, her inner voice whispered. She knew that. However, it didn't stop her from feeling like she was in these people's debt.

And for the first time ever, she had a fair leader. Maybe she was subconsciously trying to make up for the time wasted by Kylo's side by getting in Poe's good grace, she didn't know.

She only knew that the General inspired her to be pretty stupid and reckless. The woman was SURE he was already rubbing off on her.

"Did someone say welcome drink?"  Poe's voice interrupted. Y/N turned around, only to find him standing with his arms crossed on his chest and a shit-eating grin on his face. He had switched his usual orange jumpsuit for a leather jacket, fitted pants, and a tight shirt.

He really cleaned up well.

Which was apparently something everyone seemed to agree on, judging by the longing looks he got from some of his fellow soldiers. Yes, his charming personality was definitely a hit with the ladies.

Y/N internally rolled her eyes.

The brown-haired man didn't seem to care at all, though. His hazel eyes were fixated on the woman in front of him with an intensity that made her squirm on the spot —and she couldn't even blame the alcohol yet.

"Yeah… Skylen mentioned something about Garrmorl."  She answered with a sigh, and Poe laughed.

"You're in for a treat, then. This thing is disgusting. But it's tradition."

"The General is right!"  Interrupted Skylen's booming voice as he glanced at his now empty drink in confusion. He shrugged and went back to his teasing.

"Unless you're too scared…?"

Oh, Kriff no.

Y/N took a step forward, feeling emboldened by the challenge - and maybe Poe's presence, although she wouldn't say it.

"I can drink you under the table, Furball."

A chorus of 'OOOOOOS' rose up from the crowd, and Skylen cackled loudly.

"Oh yeah? I'd like to see that happen, Duckling!"

Well. There was no backing down now.

Don't try this at home, kids.

With a pointed look at her friend, Y/N walked toward the table, looked around at her squad members, and met Poe's gaze. He nodded, clearly amused, and the woman took a deep breath before grabbing the first glass.

She knocked it back without a second thought, cheers erupting around her. The taste of the Garrmorl was as terrible as she remembered it to be, and she almost gagged but forced herself not to grimace. Skylen would never let her hear the end of it if she did.

She turned the empty glass over and grabbed the second one, then the third one. After the fourth one, she couldn't even feel her throat. The last two soon joined the first four, and she slammed the shooter glass down on the table with a victorious grin.

"Eat that, sucker!"  She said to Skylen. The pilot rolled his eyes.

"I'll be damned. Kriff."

People were soon swarming her in a drunken reenactment of her test run. Who knew drinking alcohol could make you so popular, huh?

Y/N was smiling at them, the Garrmorl getting to her head already. Her mind was buzzing around the edges, and everything felt slightly fuzzy. She hadn't eaten yet; drinking that much with an empty stomach was a recipe for disaster…

The woman jumped when something touched her back. Her head snapped to the side, eyes wide as plates as she looked for whoever had dared -

"You okay?"

Poe. Of course, it was Poe.

He was standing really close to her with a concerned look, undoubtedly so people couldn't hear what he had to say. Y/N nodded energetically.

"I'm great. Don't worry!"

He hummed and bit his lip in amusement.

"I wasn't expecting you to go through it."

The pilot chuckled, eyes trailing on Skylen who stood against a tree near, talking Klana's ear off. When had they left her?

"Yeah, well, someone's recklessness seems to be rubbing off on me."

"Ouch."

"I was talking about Skylen, but now that you mention it, it could very much be you."

They both laughed for a second until someone called his name. He sent her an apologetic look and shrugged sheepishly.

"I need to make my rounds. Have fun, okay?"

"Sir, yes Sir."

He rolled his eyes playfully as he walked away, joining Finn by the fire.

Y/N had no idea how much time had passed when she finally sat down on a bench. After her reckless encounter with the glasses of Garrmorl, she had decided to lay off the alcohol for a bit and was feeling much more clear-headed. Her feet were killing her, though, from dancing with Klana and Skylen.

Or, rather, dancing with Klana, and holding Skylen so he wouldn't fall flat on his face. For such a big man, he was a lightweight.

The two pilots had gone away to do Maker knew what, probably grab some food, and Y/N was just sitting alone, a content smile on her face. The party was a hit. Pilots and mechanics wobbled together, drunk as hell, and everyone seemed to be having fun. Poe was right - they really needed these kinds of parties. Even now that the war was over, it still lifted everyone's spirits.

Where was the General, by the way? Y/N's eyes searched the crowd for his smiling face, and she found him across the clearing, leaning against a tree, in deep conversation with Kloon.

Wait. Kloon was actually TALKING with someone? Was that the same Kloon she had flown with a day ago, and who hadn't said anything? Dang. Poe really had outstanding people skills. She was slightly offended.

Said man accidentally looked in her direction, and Y/N purposely looked away. She didn't want to be caught staring. She was sure he had seen her, but her slightly tipsy mind wouldn't register that. Hey, it wasn't her fault he made her nervous. It wasn't on purpose; she knew that, but still. This hazel gaze of his was unnerving.

Or maybe it was just him being himself. Y/N wasn't so sure.

Poe Dameron was so… unbelievably himself. Y/N was pretty sure she had never met a man like him.

And she had known quite a lot of cocky pilots.

As she purposely avoided looking back at him, her eyes fell on a silhouette approaching the fire, and her mood instantly dropped. Her fist clenched around her half-empty glass of Jawa Juice, and anger bubbled up her throat.

Tarsen.

The pilot and his squad had just entered the clearing, still dressed in orange jumpsuits. They had obviously landed not long ago. They went straight for the booze table, and Y/N breathed out a sigh of relief. He hadn't noticed her. Maybe she could avoid the confrontation altogether because she was too tipsy to fly straight.

Deciding she would be harder to spot if she was moving, the pilot stood up. The soft wind made her chilly, and she was suddenly glad to have brought her jacket with her.

She was sure that could be fixed with some hot food.

Careful not to get too close to the fire and to stick to the darker spots of the clearing, Y/N made her way to the table and picked a couple of small sausages she popped in her mouth with a delighted hum.

She had just swallowed the last bite when she felt a presence behind her back-

"You're still here."

Dang it.

With a sigh, she turned around. As expected, Tarsen stood right behind her, arms crossed and face distorted into a disgusted snarl. Y/N rolled her eyes. She was too tipsy to care about his rank. And he was the one coming to pick a fight anyway.

"You didn't get shot. That's nice."

Sarcaaaasm. Y/N grabbed another sausage and shoved it in her mouth without a care in the world.

"These things are to die for. You should try them."

This seemed to piss him off, for some reason. He glared at her and took a step forward.

"Listen here, Buckethead. Did you want a fly-off? Let's-"

"Don't even think about it."

The voice chilled her to the bone. Poe had popped up right by their side, and his usually warm presence felt colder than Hoth in winter. His face was a mix of seriousness and anger.

Uh-oh.

Like the trained soldier she was, Y/N immediately straightened her back, hand joining behind her. She was used to being on the receiving end of her superior's anger.

Even though she knew, deep down, that this time, she wasn't the target of the upcoming outburst. Proof being Poe's hazel eyes, which were glaring at Tarsen.

Said idiot turned around and looked visibly startled to be called out like that.

"Poe-"

"It's  General Dameron  to you, Tarsen."  Poe interrupted.

Oh. Snap.

She had only met the guy a day before, but Y/N already knew he wasn't one to get angry often. At this particular moment, though, his eyes were shooting daggers at the pilot.

"I'm so-"

"You'll speak when you're told to speak. Now, I want to make something crystal clear, Tarsen."

His eyes fell on Y/N, who felt incredibly out of place. She wasn't stupid. The woman had read the situation the wrong way. He wasn't here to shout at her. He was here to defend her.

Oh, Maker, no.

Poe's gaze softened as he looked at her, right before he turned his glare back to Tarsen, who didn't know what to say.

"Poe, don't…"  the woman mumbled, too low for him to hear her. She wasn't too sure he would have cared enough to stop even if he had, anyway.

 "I want to make something clear to EVERYONE here,"  he said, louder. Poe had drawn the attention of the majority of the people who weren't too drunk to recognize it was their General speaking. Even Finn was listening, but he didn't seem too surprised.

That made one of them, at least.

"We do NOT accept bullying of any kind around here. That's not how Leia taught us to behave. That's not who we are. And I don't care who we're dealing with, who they are, what they've done. If they're willing to work hard, we will take them in. No questions asked. Because that's who we are."

He was apparently good at making inspiring speeches, too.

"Being horrible to one another, that's what the First Order did. I won't stand for that kind of behavior in MY squads. Y/N is part of one of them, and she deserves the same amount of respect you'd give to ANYONE."

Oh, no. That was it. He had made it about her.

If she could have made a wish at this moment, the ex-TIE pilot would have asked the genie to open the ground under her feet and to have it swallow her whole. Everyone was staring at her, now, and she hadn't drunk nearly enough alcohol to feel comfortable in that setting.

Why? Why couldn't he just… let it go? Didn't he know it was going to have the opposite effect? Her shoulders slumped. All she ever wanted was to be a random pilot…

"Poe, let's not make a scene. It's okay."  The tried.

"Oh, no, let's,"  he answered without looking at her. Y/N cringed. Why couldn't he just listen to her?! She hadn't asked to be protected. To have someone stand up to her… That wouldn't make things better. She knew that more than anyone.

"Disrespect her again,"  the hazel-eyed pilot said,  "and you're demoted. Now get the hell out of here. Get some rest. Come back tomorrow morning with a clear head."

Tarsen looked pissed. His left hand was twitching as if he wanted to bark back, but the look Poe sent him was enough to stop him from doing so. He grumbled a "yes, General" and walked away, fuming.

Y/N let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. The laughter and the jokes had died down, and the clearing was silent. Poe glared at Tarsen as he disappeared toward the base, and the woman took the opportunity to sneak away from him, going back to the shadows.

It took the General five seconds to break into a grin and say:

"Come on! I think I saw that droid pop open a new bottle of Jawa Juice! You're not gonna let me drink that one on my own, huh?"

People laughed politely and started chatting again, albeit more quietly than before Poe's outburst.

It looked like anyone had managed to leave behind their worries and statuses, but not her. No, Y/N couldn't be separated from her job, as it seemed. She couldn't really be just "Y/N." All of these people… They would never accept her for her, not truly, would they?

Poe's intentions were pure. He had wanted to clear the air, and it was his role. But in doing so, he invited work to the party. Y/N was really uncomfortable. Why couldn't she be left alone? That's all she had ever wanted. To be part of the crowd, not stand out from it. The woman sighed, toying with the edge of her glass with her thumb. Her good mood had left the party; she felt the urge to do the same. Her eyes fell on the crowd, gathered around the campfire. People were talking and laughing, but things were quieter now. And it was her fault, truly. She had been the one who disturbed the peace. She was a scrap of metal in the well-oiled engine…

Her head started to spin, and it wasn't from the alcohol. She downed the rest of her glass in one go, barely registering the way it burned down her throat. The pilot abandoned her empty glass on a table and put both hands in her pockets, tugging at the thick material of her jacket to get it closer to her frame. Then, she slipped into the dark, leaving behind the quiet conversations and the crackling fire.

She needed to be alone for a bit. Maybe then, she wouldn't cause a scene.

"Hey, Skylen, where is Y/N?"

The bearded man turned around, nearly spilling his drink. It was clear he had had a little too much, but he seemed to sober up when he saw Poe. The General effect, undoubtedly.

"Oh, Poe. No idea. I haven't seen her in a while. Might be with Klan'? Or she went to grab a drink. I should do the same…"  he added, half-mumbling, before excusing himself and wobbling toward the nearest stash of Jawa Juice. Poe sighed and nervously bit his lower lip out of habit. He had already asked Klana.

Where the hell was his pilot?

He looked around again, but her hair was nowhere to be seen. Then, his eyes immediately searched for Tarsen, but the idiot had left with all his squad. Good. At least he hadn't gone after her.

With another sigh, the General looked down at his droid, who stared at him, little head tilted in curiosity.

"Can you find her for me, BeeBee? Track her commlink."

The droid beeped in approval and diligently followed the order. It only took Poe a few seconds to locate her, and thankfully, she wasn't too far. Before he could have second thoughts about how he had tracked down someone against their will, Poe took off in her direction, eyes carefully going from the blinking point on his datapad to the ground.

He would NOT trip, thank you very much.

BB-8 beeped questioningly, and Poe shrugged.

"Hey, what kind of leader would I be if I didn't make sure my new squad member was alright, buddy?"

[unstoppableforcce]

adore you

request: hi! would you be up for doing a Poe Dameron x reader with the song adore you by Harry Styles, like what you wrote with New Rules...

Poe Dameron x pilot! Reader

this is almost sickly sweet I think and I like it a lot so thank you anon for the request, no TROS spoilers or anything, just good old Commander Dameron - r.e.

Walk in your rainbow paradise

He had been shot down. Everything had happened so fast. One second he was up in the sky, cutting through clouds, while all his fighters trailed on his flank. The next, he was spiraling, a vibrant blaster of red shooting from the plush white and colliding with his back engine.

The cargo ship he had been in charge of transporting was now in flames on the side of the largest mountain on the planet. The smoke would surely give him away to whoever had shot him down, but he couldn’t do anything about it, he was barely capable of pulling himself from the wreckage.

His body felt all out of sorts. Blood. There was blood on his finger tips as he reached around to the surging pain at the back of his head. He could barely keep his eyes open.

Then he saw it. Then he saw you.

He swore he had never seen a ship move so fast. From where he was on the ground, the trails coming off your ship as it cut through the clouds just enough to let the sun through...

It looked like a rainbow following behind you, desperate to keep up as you worked with his team, quickly blasting the enemy ships out of the sky.

It was too hard to keep his eyes open.

When he felt his body being tugged onto a stretcher, he managed to peak out through squinted eyes.

The clouds had cleared up, sunlight basking down onto all of his team and the ships parked behind them. Everything sparkled. But you glowed.

Whatever colors your eyes actually were, he couldn’t tell, all he could see where the same rainbows which had followed you to his rescue.

“You’re going to be okay, Commander.” You cooed softly, your accent almost unrecognizable to his still ringing ears.

When his eyes shut again, he swore he was still seeing rainbows.

I get so lost inside your eyes

They transferred you from the base you had been stationed at when you came swooping in to the rescue after his crash. No one owned up to why, but there had been a few closed door meetings between Poe and the General where he pleaded to at least know the name of the pilot who had come to his rescue.

You weren’t on black squadron, but you were around in the weeks following the crash, while Poe was still getting back to his feet.

The first time he properly met you was after having supervised your training run with Rapier squadron, you beating out some of his best guys before he even realized it was you.

He met you at the bottom of your ladder, all prepared to give a hearty welcome speech, to congratulate you on the promotion and subsequent transfer, to make a good first impression. But when you took your helmet off, he lost all of his words on his tongue.

“Yes, Commander?”

You blinked a few times, tossing the helmet aside and wiping away the sweat at your hair line, all completely unaware at the way he was staring.

“Did I do something wrong?”

No. Nothing. Never.

But he couldn’t even get that out. You were sparkling.

“I Uh- I just came over to introduce myself.” He finally managed out, running a shaking hand back through his hair as he tried to recover. “And to thank you, for Nyo.”

“I’m glad to see you’re doing better.” You were sweet, he was going to melt. “Not exactly how I expected to meet the best pilot in the galaxy but-“

Oh no, you had an attitude. He was in trouble. You were just his type.

You don’t have to say you love me

He wanted to spend every free second he had with you. And usually he found a way to do exactly that.

He’d make excuses to get all the pilots to go out in hopes that you would tag along. And you always would. He wouldn’t get his hopes up and think you did it for him, but you were pretty quick to nab the seat next to him once down in the local cantina and he couldn’t deny that made his heart flutter.

Even if you only used the position to better banter with him.

For having come from a pretty isolated outpost, one of the only defensive pilots in Nyo, you fit into the squadrons on D’Qar effortlessly. If Snap made a crude remark, you could give it right back. If Bastian got too playful in his flirtation, you were quick to remind him of his place. And you and Jes together was near deadly. The wit being spewed across the table was all too quick and everything Poe loved being around.

It was comforting, almost grounding. A reminder he was surrounded by the best and the brightest in the air, that they were a fighting family and well-equipt to do just that. Fight.

In a war this hard, sometimes you needed that reminder. Poe certainly did.

That, and he also just liked the have fun with them. And wow. The pilots could drink, you included.

He often found himself carrying Snap back to base, drunkenly laughing and stumbling the whole way. But since you had come around, he was much more amused by being your crutch as you fall over yourself all the way back to your dorm.

You’d laugh, you’d trip, you’d try to take off your shoes in the hall and sometimes even throw them at passing mechanics. And all he could do was laugh and follow, trying to damage control along the way as best he could.

And when you eventually would make it back, and he’d type your room code in for you, (your hands just not cooperating with your drunken mind) you would collapse onto your bed, groaning the entire way down.

He’d toss your shoes aside and laugh as you struggled your way out of your jacket, giggling to yourself the whole time.

And for the brief second that you’d look back up at him with your beautiful eyes and mutter out some form of a “thank you”, he would think a thought he knew was wrong.

That he loved you. That he was in love with you.

But you’d just fall back to the pillows and pass out.

He didn’t need to say it. He didn’t need you to even think it back. He just needed you around. He needed you.

I’d walk through fire for you

There was no fire. That was the problem.

It was freezing on whatever the hell this planet was.

All you knew was that you had to keep quiet and stay hidden until the first order crafts passed by. That meant no fire, no nothing.

Just you and Poe hidden out in a small crevice of the towering mountain, freezing half to death.

“Stop pacing.” He warned.

You had been out there for hours, you knew how orders worked and had no real want to betray them, but at the same time, it had been hours and you just wanted to fly away. First order crafts patrolling the region or not. It was cold.

“Stop pacing.” He warned again from where he sat back in the snow, wearing his puffiest jacket, watching you pace back and forth in a futile attempt for some warmth. “You’re going to drive me crazy.”

“I’m cold.”

“Oh really? I had no idea.” He shot back with a frost bitten attitude. You couldn’t blame him for it, you were almost there yourself.

“I’m just trying to keep warm.”

“You should get back under this blanket-“

“You’re using it.” You kept pacing. Back and forth. Back and forth. And his eyes followed you the whole time.

“We can share-“

“I’m fine with my pacing.”

He scoffed but if he planned to keep arguing, he didn’t actually do it. He just watched you continue back and forth. Back and forth.

Back and forth.

He looked at his receiver, hoping and praying for a way out of the cold.

It was the quick yelp that got him to look back up for you, but you were no where to be found.

He rushed to his feet immediately, trudging as fast as he ever had through the snow until he reached where you had vanished from. And his heart stopped.

You had been atop a frozen body of water, and now you were somewhere deep in the icy water beneath.

And he didn’t even think, he just plunged himself head first into the freezing water, trying to keep his legs on solid ground so he could reach around for you.

He felt a hand and he pulled.

Dragging your now soak and even more frozen body from the water, he kept pulling until he was sure you were entirely clear of the water. Your face was blue, your eyes were shut. He bit off his glove to get his fingertips to your neck, checking for a pulse. You had one, but it was faint.

“You idiot.” He all but screamed, trying to get your soaked coat from your body, trying to warm you up as best as he could. His head was drenched too, water freezing on his face, his curls frozen on his head.

When you opened your eyes, he wanted to kill you.

“I’m cold.” You muttered out, barely conscious.

He laughed, only because he couldn’t cry. Not in front of you.

“You shouldn’t have put your head in, you’ll freeze now.” You added breathlessly.

“You saved my life once, I figured I owed you one.”

Just let me adore you

It wasn’t a big battle, but you had won. You beat the first order, completely ridding at least this section of the galaxy from them, for now.

It wasn’t a big win. But it was a win and that was cause for celebration.

Yet you couldn’t find Poe.

The pilots turned the hanger into a party, but he was no where to be found.

You searched high and low, it wasn’t until you walked past the control center, on your way to the cafeteria, that you spotted him. Perched on the slight bench created by the thick blast proof windowing, he just stared out at the vast night sky.

“Whatcha doing up here, Commander?” You questioned slyly as you made your approach, hands locked behind your back.

He turned, he saw you, and he turned back.

No emotion on his face. Nothing.

“Poe?” You continued, all playfulness washing away as you hesitantly took a seat across from him. “There’s a party happening, you know?”

“Yeah.” That wasn’t the fun loving Yavin boy you had grown so close to in the past few months. It just wasn’t.

“What’s going on?”

He huffed, shaking his head and trying to plaster on a smile, “nothing.”

You didn’t believe him for a second. And he could tell when your stare only got sharper.

“Poe?”

“I just- I guess I’m just having a bit of a day.” He sighed.

“We just won a pretty big battle-“

“We lost fourteen men.”

You nodded. It wasn’t his fault, but it wasn’t worth it to try and tell him that. He blames himself for all of it.

“We lost-“ he choke himself up, shutting his mouth before he spiraled and just shook his head, looking back to the window.

He didn’t expect you to grab his hand. You moved closer to him, grabbing his hand with both of yours and holding it tight.

“You should go to the party, you flew great-“

He tried to pull his hand away, but you wouldn’t let him, you only moved closer.

“Just let me...”

You wrapped an arm over his shoulder and sighed, pulling him into you. He was too tense at first, not adjusting, almost in a permanent flinch. But something snapped, a switch flicked when he got close enough.

And he collapsed. Barreling further into your arms, digging his head into your neck, burrowing in with his hand around your middle.

“You’re the best pilot I know.” You whispered against his forehead before pressing a short kiss there.

You stayed like that for most the night. Just holding him at first, then just talking, but you wouldn’t leave him. You couldn’t.

Like it’s the only thing I’ll ever do

He didn’t know what changed. But after that night, he was warmer and he wouldn’t leave your side when back on base, not if he could help it.

It was just something unspoken between the two of you.

Relationships were generally frowned upon in the navy, and even though this was a rebellion, a resistance, you typically followed the same rules and uniform codes. Even if relationships were the most regularly broken rule, you and Poe still never acted on what was there between you.

You could blame uniform code when Jes asked, but the two of you knew deep down what it was.

This war was bloody, it was brutal, it hurt and it took. It took everything.

And if you did act, you did succumb to the deep gravitational pull holding the two of you together like a moon and a planet, you’d have to know that it couldn’t last.

That one day something would happen. It was dangerous. You couldn’t count on being around the next day, making plans, believing in a future, it just couldn’t happen.

You sat by your ship, it was nearly the dead of night and things had been quiet all week, so most of the base was catching up on sleep. You couldn’t. Something in your heart stopped you before you even hit the pillow. You had to get your head elsewhere, so you stuck it in your ship and got to work on basic upkeep.

Poe stumbled out of his dorm, groggy, awoken by a rough nightmare memory of losing a friend flying next to him. It wasn’t abnormal, but this one hit harder for whatever reason. He had to get up, and heading to the hanger, he found you there.

He didn’t say anything. He couldn’t think of anything to say. But at the same time, he didn’t feel like anything needed to be said.

He sat down next to you and smiled, you did the same.

Setting your wrench down, you sighed and grabbed his hand. He let you, just holding you there for either a minute or an hour, he couldn’t tell, he was lost in your eyes.

“I love you.” He let the words spill from his lips before he even realized he had.

He half expected you to fall back, to flinch, to shout, to give some grand reaction of any sort. But you didn’t.

You just sighed and repeated back to him, “I love you.”

And he realized that this could be enough.

That the war may go on and on, but he could do this. You could make this work. He’ll fly ships until he can’t any more, but this is the only thing that’ll matter. This was his end.

He pressed a gentle kiss to your lips and you smiled back into him, returning the softness.

“I almost didn’t answer that distress call.” You admitted against his lips, pulling back just briefly. “Back on Nyo, I almost let my lieutenant take it.”

“Aren’t you glad you did?” He chuckled, pecking your lips once more.

“I don’t know yet, maybe if you kiss me again-“

He didn’t have to be told twice.

[ivorydragoness44]

“Whoa whoa whoa!” Finn called out.

You paused your ascent on the ladder. “What?” You asked, looking over your shoulder as he approached.

“Let me help you,” he said.

When he reached you, he grabbed ahold of the ladder to maintain its stability.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

The pair of you shared a smile before you continued and took the coiled up strand of lights from off of your shoulder.

[millllenniawrites]

Our Resistance (Poe Dameron x Reader)

I JUST SAW TROS TWO HOURS AGAO AND I NEEDED BBY POE CONTENT SO I CREATED SOME AND HERE IT IS

No spoilers. This is before Poe even joined the resistance. I’ve decided that he had a crew, and it’s what we’re going with. 

__

Requested: nope!

Pairing(s): Poe Dameron x Reader (gender neutral as always) 

Warnings: none

__

The crew is quiet, most of them drifting towards sleep. Poe Dameron sits to your right, his head using your lap as a pillow as you keep watch. 

You try not to shift too much, wanting to let the Poe sleep as long as you can. The two of you built all of this together, the crew, the hideout, all of it. This was your little slice of safety. Your family. It’s hard not to look down at the handsome man and smile. 

You yawn and his eyes suddenly snap open, hand going to the blaster on his hip.  “It’s okay. Everything is okay.” you whisper, trying not to wake anyone else, “Sorry. Had to yawn.” you trail your hands over his shoulders and feel him relax under your touch.

“S’okay.” He sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, “Have you slept yet?” 

“Nope.” you smile softly, “I’m okay for a little while longer.” you pat your lap again, an invitation.

His shakes his head, his long hair falling into his eyes, “I’m not going to be able to get back to sleep. Go ahead.” he looks as though he’s about to say something more, but thinks better of it. 

“What?” you touch his face, “What is it?” 

“I know it’s impossible.” He shakes his head, “But if I... if I had a way out, would you come with me?” 

You look around, taking in the sleeping bodies of your crew. Everything you’ve built. “Me? Or all of us?” The look on his face says enough. “You would leave this all behind?”

“For a better life.”

“There is no better life. Not while the First Order is around.” As the words leave your lips, his eyes get dark. 

“The resistance.” 

As much as you love this side of him, the hero urgency in his heart, there’s nothing you can do, “We’re just two people. We wouldn’t even know how to get to the resistance.” you shrug, “And don’t we already have our own resistance right here?” 

“Don't you just... don’t you think we can do more?” his voice is soft. 

“We’re both tired. If you aren’t sleeping, I'm going to.” you kiss his forehead, “Let’s talk in the morning. Okay?” 

You stake out your piece of floor and curl up, asleep before you know it. 

He packs in silence. 

In the early hours of the morning, when he’s sure you’ll be safe, he takes one last look at you and goes quietly, determined to make a stand or die trying. 

[doflamingadonquixote]

I Won’t Say Anything-Pt.1/3

Warnings: TROS SPOILER, Torture, Soulmate AU Summary: You are a member of the Resistance. You’re captured by the First Order while you are waiting for information from the spy. Pairing: Armitage Hux x Female!Reader Words: 2391

Important: Sorry for the bad english and the errors. I’m an italian fan and this is the first time I write a fanfic in english.

—————-

Part 1 of 3

You didn’t know how long you had been locked in that torture chamber. You lost track of time after the 15th electric shock. It started from the handcuffs and expanded to below the knees, firmly glued to the ground, as if all the weight of the galaxy weighed on your shoulders.

Three rounds of stormtroopers came in every day.

Your room was number 6 and, from what you heard the soldiers of the first order muttering to each other, it looked like it was an interrogation room. Not far from the idea that you were made.

How they managed to capture you again was a mystery.

You were supposed to meet with a droid for the transmission of important information but that didn’t show up.

In its place, an army surrounded you in seconds by throwing you on the ground and giving you a violent blow with the kick of their blasters at the base of the head.

You were transported on the ship inside that room, with streams of dried blood on the hair attached to the forehead and questioned incessantly. At first they were cautious, investigating whether such a person was actually aware of important information, but when you resisted they didn’t hold back.

You were certainly a member of the Resistance, and although there was no prejudice within the rebels, you thought you were the most expendable one, compared to the other fighters. You had asked Commander Leia yourself to face that dangerous and uncertain journey after a statement from the alleged spy had been received at Headquarters.

At that point, chained and exhausted, you had the conviction that there had been no spy within the Order. It had only been a trap.

For the umpteenth time, the door to the room swung open with a faint noise. A couple of stormtroopers came in, aiming their blaster rifles at you.

Looking up a little, you noticed that another person was visiting that day. General uniform and banners, red hair, pale skin and a spirited look in his green eyes. You were no doubt in the presence of the First Order general, Armitage Hux.

“Will you be more accommodating today and will you tell us why you were in Minfar?” Commander Spiftz’s tone of voice seemed almost impatient. After all, how many times had that question asked you since the day of your capture?

“I won’t say anything.” You sighed, tired. You tried to look away from the commander’s electric and evil eyes only to find yourself staring at the green and bored ones of General Hux. However, he was who looked away, pointing at something to the right of his subordinate.

You also turned to it and found a droid with strange colors advancing in your direction. He was like BB-8, the droid of the Commander Dameron, but his steel and the red that stood out made him ten times more threatening.

“You know, we have developed a new type of droid. And it is here to show you his usefulness. ”The commander passed a hand covered in black leather gloves on the smooth surface of the robot and that advanced as if he had received direct orders.

It rolled until it was behind you, where you couldn’t follow it with your eyes and froze.

“I won’t say anything.” You continued, despite being intimidated by those overwhelming presences that dominated you in every sense.

“We’ll see.” It was a whisper but it sounded like a premise of something horrible.

Before you knew it, something entered the base of your spine. At the beginning it wasn’t painful, it was like a normal needle in the flesh (those who had already implanted you several times), but then a cosmic pain came, that made you block your breath. Not buried from where it came from, you could not describe in which part of the body it had flowed. The blood had started to boil in your veins like it was red-hot lava and you could feel its rending heat. Your lungs had stopped functioning and your heart seemed to be about to explode in your chest.

The voice didn’t seem to come out for a long time but then you burst into a liberating scream and tears began to flow down your sweaty red cheeks.

You tried to bend over yourself, in a futile way to ease the pain, but the ties on the wrists prevented you from extended movements.

“W-what-what did you do to me …?” You were trembling with convulsions but you managed to slumber terrified words.

“This is only the first stage, rebel scum. If you want me to stop, you just have to say what we want to know.” The commander explained to you, as if talking to a baby. He bent down on his knees, crouching down in front of you, and ran a hand through your messy, messy hair.

“I-I won’t say anything.” You stammered, as already anticipating your destiny. But before the man could torture you again, while pulling your hair, you passed out.

When you regained consciousness, you first noticed that the terrible pain of minutes before had vanished into thin air. Then a light tap on your forehead forced you to quickly open your eyes.

In front of you, a medical droid was taking care of your head injury from days before and at the same time stuck a needle in your arm connected to a gold-colored serum.

“The prisoner is stable, General Hux. The muscle pains due to the Emperical9765 experiment have been alleviated, her defenses have restored order. Besides, she’s awake. ”processed the droid, not stopping his work.

When the droid mentioned the general, you looked around with anxiety and doubts and saw him standing, at a safe distance from you and the robot, with its usual complete and stoic appearance. He took a step forward when he noticed your full attention to him.

In the dense, compressed air of the room, what seemed to be a sort of static electricity that kept your eyes glued to those of red vibrated, you wondered how it was possible that a man could be so rigid and petty despite his young age.

“Why are you doing this?” You asked, curious about the answer that he would have been able to elaborate and in fact that was not long in coming.

“You seem to be aware of important information. We are running out of prisoners to interrogate because of the extermination that the Knights of Ren carry out.” Mechanical and calculated, just like him. “We cannot lose a source, precious or useless that it is.”

He took another step forward, flanking the other torture station by his side and looked down on you with a frown you couldn’t define. Was he disgusted, troubled, anxious, angry? You couldn’t understand it.

And you wondered why you cared so much about his reactions and emotions at the time.

“I won’t say anything.” You now seemed fond of that particular phrase.

Hux seemed to contemplate you just like a few moments you did with him before. Then he spoke.

“The First Order is aware of the reason you were on Minfar. All the generals have move to find the spy.”

The little spit that remained in your throat seemed to dry up at those words. They had discovered your secret, but how? You were sure you didn’t say anything…

“Why are you telling me?” You whispered, shocked by the revelation but not yet weak enough to look away from him.

“No particular reason. What we are looking for is the identity of the spy. “

When the medical droid pushed the dirty gauze away and moved to a corner of the room, the general leaned in half his torso towards your kneeling figure.

"Tell me who he is and I’ll spare you more pain.”

You laughed at the situation that had just arisen. “A general who has lost an entire stellar base in search of a little hope that will restore his honor.” You shook your head, despite the pain in your head giving you a twinge. “You fell down, Hux.”

General Hux was not known as a man who lost his temper or got caught and conquered by anger (Ren was already creating enough problems) but at that moment the desire to reach out and strangle you there on the spot seemed to have taken the best of him.

The electricity that had invaded the room instantly broke when he grabbed you by the lapel of your tattered shirt and his face was dangerously close to yours.

“Tell me!” Was a hiss, barely audible and for a moment you had the presumption of having felt desperation for an answer in the tone of his words. You felt all his anger and fear of that closeness and wondered if it was just your imagination. It seemed to depend on the identity of the spy as his life depended on it.

Before you could let you be captivated by the conflicting sensations that traveled in your subconscious and cancel that uncomfortable connection you didn’t want to be part of, you pulled your head back just enough to give yourself the momentum for a head shot in the nose of the general.

At the moment of impact, like a bolt of lightning, a fire warmed you starting from your forehead to the depths of your soul. You imagined that it was the adrenaline of the moment … but then, like a holodrama, sporadic events began to flash before your eyes with Armitage Hux as the protagonist.

You saw the slap that sent him to the ground as a child by a man who had his own fiery red hair, his growing and admiringly watching the generals of the old Empire, saw him discussing his assassination with a very tall stormtrooper and silver in color (possibly Captain Phasma Finn and Rose had spoken of), the destruction of the New Republic with the powerful First Order weapon with its bloodshot green eyes, Kylo Ren’s Force against him and finally a small Hux flash that inserted codes inside a droid. The droid …

When you came back to reality, it seemed that hours had passed and instead the General was still there, a few steps away from you. He was holding a gloved hand on his bleeding nose that fell against the metal floor.

His eyes were wide and you mistakenly translated him by surprise, and his legs trembled with the effort of standing.

“I won’t say anything!”

Without adding anything else, the general ran away from the room like lightning, leaving the droid behind him and a realized but confused you.

While Hux let himself be cured by a medical droid that levitated in midair, he pondered what had happened a few minutes earlier.

You were certainly a problem for him. If he had revealed what type of droid you were waiting on Minfar, the First Order or rather General Allegiant Pryde, they would have, without a doubt, done their research and however scrupulous and attentive he had been, they would still have gone back to him.

He could not allow such a dangerous person to remain alive. This would have meant a certain death for him and the end of his purpose.

He had witnessed torture on the new experimental test solely to make sure you died before uttering spy information. However, you had not opened your mouth even after the terrible situation to which you had been subjected and whose effects Hux knew perfectly well.

With that willpower that arose only from members of the Resistance, he was impressed.

He thought of going to visit you, to check your vital values ​​and clean it up to prevent you from dying from bacteriological infections but what he discovered being in your presence didn’t please him at all.

He had tried to force you again and still you had resisted in the worst way. You looked at him with pity and misery, not realizing that you were in the presence of the spy you were waiting for.

The droid he had sent to Minfar had been blocked for checks and delayed his arrival on the planet. And so you had been captured, after a possible traitor’s voice had rushed to the ship.

Hux, for the unexpected event, had decided to give up but when the torture began on you, certain that sooner or later you would reveal his secret, he decided that it was better his betrayal was worth the effort. He had found another way to transmit information and get it to order by not allowing anyone to know his identity, not even to a droid.He inadvertently moved when his head throbbed with pain and the medical droid stopped his work. He still had little flashes of your life that tumbled in his mind.

After the impact, something happened that he never expected to happen in his life.

He had found what appeared to be his soulmate.

He had read years before this legend, the soulmates were discovered through a touch of skin to skin but he hadn’t expected your small and boring background to be revealed to him. Daughter of sympathizers of the New Republic, your father who died in the battle against the Empire and your mother still in the service of the Resistance. You were a ground soldier, trained hard by the other rebels.

The connection had lasted a few seconds but Hux realized that in his mind it was as if a database had been implanted with data exclusively aimed at you.

But your name, he still didn’t know your name.

In the following days, after he managed to convey the message of the return of Emperor Palpatine to the Resistance, Kylo Ren confirmed in front of all the officers and generals that there was a spy among them. However, due to the inconvenience the rebels were creating, the torture of the prisoner was sporadic until it was completely exhausted.

Hux had never visited you that day but was checking on you and looking through the cameras inside the interrogation room 6. He would not have risked ending up with a hole in the head of a blaster to probe his soulmate.

Until the day they caught the Wookiee who traveled with Han Solo.