#truly awful human beings

[hatikarat]

The mama cat that i took in jumped from our fence to the roof of the kindergarten behind us. She had done it before when she panicked and tried to relocate her then 2 week old kittens to that roof. She then brought them back when she was sure they'd be safe. But since then she had gained weight so i guess her center of gravity had shifted & she couldn't jump back to ours.

A staff apparently stayed at the kindergarten so I was let in through the gate but guess what? I cannot fly to the roof. At first I really thought mama cat was stuck or worse, injured. So i called emergency services. No one was dying so they took a while to come and after waiting like an hour, that staff sent a pic of mama cat to her boss who sent it to my mom who is a friend.

At this point, I was fuming. The heat was crazy & it rained heavily for ten minutes & this woman just let me wait outside while knowing that mama cat can be easily retrieved at the kindergarten's balcony. I told the emergency services that they didn't need to come but this teacher will not respond to me calling her from outside.

Finally, i found a window of the room she was in and had to beg her to let me in. She claimed the principal forbade me from coming in the kindergarten. I was only allowed on the lawn.

I was stunned. Like how am i going to retrieve a cat inside the building from the outside. They let me in the compound to what?

Anyway, after i pleaded a few times almost crying, the staff let me in. I got in and out in just 5 minutes. But because i was not let in, i was there for 1+ hour just waiting out there like an idiot.

The next day, i talked about it with my mom. My mom said the principal was in a meeting and she told her staff to let me in to get the cat but the staff just idk ignored the direction.

So i texted the principal to thank her. There was no apology which is fine i guess but then she added i shouldn't worry too much because the staff said mama cat was big enough to jump down the roof

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had many bad thoughts about her because she ignored my mom after sending the pic of mama cat on the balcony. When my mom said she was in a pretty intense meeting, i thought oh well that's reasonable. But with that addition, i'm just back to oh this woman was purposely stalling me from getting into the kindergarten because ???? And her staff just went along with it.

When i begged to her staff from under the window, that staff said she had already chased away the cat to the roof. I was incensed. What kind of dumb dumb thinks that that would save the cat? Also at this point, mama cat had been on the roof for a whole day. If she was able to come down, she would have.

It boggles my mind that these two had thought that the cat would just eventually save itself when it's been meowing for help. And that reply was implying that i'm the unreasonable one when their logic was terribly flawed. I sent a text back to say mmm well the cat had been there since morning sooo... and all i got back was a thumbs up.

[ohbother2]

OKAY SO-

Alastor lost his cool and flipped his shit immensely when Lucifer showed up - why would that be? and why wedge himself between Lucifer and Charlie? Why would he react so viscerally when his literal main-competitor for retaining his rank and respect is Vox, and Vox openly antagonises him first, trying to drag Alastor's reputation through the mud in his broadcasts

Alastor remains cool, calm, collected, and in doing so completely surpasses Vox's attempts

in many ways, Alastor is unflappable. Always smiling, always a step ahead, always the most powerful and domineering in a room

and then- Lucifer shows up. This short statured, rosy-cheeked, rather pathetic excuse of a man

he waltzes in to the hotel, a fumbling over-excited mess, the least threatening a person could possibly look in hell, barely reaching Alastor's waist

and yet, he outranks Alastor, he could over-power him easily, he is the predator

and Alastor simply cannot handle that

Alastor may be furious that such a week-minded, emotionally unguarded man ranks so far above him with no way for Alastor to even attempt to gain the same status

so what does Lucifer lack? what is the one thing Alastor can have that he can't?

a relationship with Charlie

his anger is calculated, he finds what hurts Lucifer, he finds his weakness, he grips onto it with both claws, and he drags it in front of him, mocking the fact that, yeah, sure Lucifer may outrank him, but in his daughters mind? one of the few things Lucifer can't control? Alastor has the power, has the lead - in all manners of 'power' and 'influence' that Lucifer cannot control, Alastor makes sure he knows he is on top - he is Charlie's favourite, he succeeds where Lucifer has failed her

regardless of his motives, he has been there for Charlie, and Lucifer hasn't, and that's all that matters

but why does he have this deep-rooted need to prove himself? why can he not accept that he is still the second most powerful in that hotel?

his need for power, for dominance, for control is shown again when Husk confronts him in the hallway

'big talk for someone who's also on a leash'

this time, Alastor doesn't even bother targeting Husker's, insecurities, his weaknesses

he drags him down the hallway chained at his neck, teeth gnashing and positively enraged

there's no typical Alastor intelligence or cunning behind this action - it is pure unadulterated rage, it's a: I can kill you, and I will

killing husk would be useless - Alastor obviously has a purpose for him, that's why he's been kept alive and the other overlords haven't, killing him would get rid of any leverage Alastor had, it would get rid of Husk full stop

Alastor has been gone for 7 years, and now he's back, supporting a cause he doesn't believe, forced to wander around the hotel halls and haunting its residents instead of freely roaming Hell

Lilith has also been gone 7 years - and she isn't yet back

Alastor just so happens to appear at the hotel mere moments after Charlie tries to talk to Lilith, marching into the foyer and wedging himself into the project with a showman's flair

he is chained, he is chained to that infernal hotel where he doesn't belong - he cannot be redeemed, he doesn't want to be redeemed

he is chained to Lilith, and by extension he is chained to Charlie

and in his eyes, he is powerless, so utterly and infuriatingly at the mercy of those above him, and that simply won't do

so what can he do? what can a man, whose greatest desire is power, who's biggest insecurity is the power and status he wields over others, do to reclaim some semblance of that power? how can he usurp Lilith? how can be make this soul-bond beneficial to him?

he can win Charlie over - he can replace her father in the process, he can mould her as he sees fit, he can play on her need to view the best in everyone, in the need to create friendships and her insatiable ability to care for those around her

he cannot get to Lilith, he cannot match Lucifer, but he can have Charlie

and he's nearly got her

and when he does? who's to say her naivety, her trust, the relationship he's intentionally crafted with her, leads her to strike a deal with him in a moment of need? when the angels attack, when the hotel begins to crumble, when heaven commands her to stop her efforts? why wouldn't she strike a deal, in her mind, he's as caring as a father figure, and a man who's been there since day one unlike either of her parents

she shakes his hand

he has her soul

he has Charlie, and he has Lilith, and he has Lucifer

there's nothing they can do, and isn't that really what power is? not raw-strength, not magic, not status, but the ability to control those who others may believe to be above your own station?

he's forced to the hotel, he's chained down and unable to grab for more power - if Lilith is preventing him from earning it himself, well, he can always just force her to give it to him

all it takes is one hand shake.

the cherry on top? he get's to show Lilith it's her own desire for him to be at the hotel that has allowed him to ensnare them all

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

I can imagine anything guy image: “I can spiral into tears and convince myself I’m the worst person alive over anything”

[imminent-danger-came]

Okay so they're exploring the corpse of a long ruined kingdom. Almost like they're being eaten by the very dungeon they are eating in. Consumption leads to consumption leads to consumption

[alluralater]

okay so i asked an old hookup for one of my hoodies back and god i feel SO nervous about the whole thing like— i stopped seeing this person over two years ago but the hoodie was my mom’s and it’s basically an heirloom at this point considering she had it for my whole life. and this person, i stopped seeing them because things got super super complicated. but i actually really did like them and now i just ugh. i’m not the nervous type whatsoever and i keep feeling like at any moment im going to throw up just thinking about seeing them again after all this time. i specifically didn’t take back that hoodie in the first place because i knew if i saw them i’d fold instantly and want to kiss them and fuck their brains out for the millionth time. i don’t like opening closed doors. i really really don’t like it. i’m an emotional bitch at the end of the day but it’s hard for me to… let it happen that way. things were so complicated and i just couldn’t handle it. texting them now i feel like i want to ask them how they are and how they’re doing but i don’t want them to think im like trying to snake my way into their life because im not. i just genuinely care about them. ugh fuck. i HATE opening closed doors. fuck me in the face, this SUCKS. how do people even handle this?? i’m like trying to be respectful while also being myself but it’s hard to just force myself to be less sweet.

this person made me feel really… happy. about so many things. cutting them off was something i had to do but i didn’t want to. i don’t know i don’t know i don’t know

[shima-draws]

Thinks about Perry covered in the blood of his enemies and swoons

[kikizoshi]

I came across the realisation that Nikolai's motivation to kill Fyodor, as we understand it now, isn't compelling. I think that's my biggest issue with him. There are all these fanfics about it, and yet the one I've read where Fyodor's death is compelling, Nikolai hasn't ever even thought of killing him and doesn't want him to die (and yes, I'm including my fics with Fyodor's death in the "not compelling" category).

So, I tried to reframe it, taking some of my current experiences and what I know about Gogol, and I think I may have figured something out: Nikolai's core motivation right now could be to escape from reality.

This could be foreshadowed earlier on with things like a distaste for factually accurate (read: dull) stories, a love for acting and exaggerated impressions, and an aversion to talking issues out in his personal relationships.

But now it's worse, and has grown to an extent where he can't stand anything--he just wants to escape everything, but he can't. (This change would be brought about by some sort of terrible or tragic event--something that makes all his flawed coping mechanisms collapse entirely in a way they never have before. In my story, it's Fyodor disappearing and Nikolai finally giving up hope that he still lived. Anything awful enough would probably work, but I think a lot of care needs to be put into exactly what is the thing that pushes Nikolai over the edge--it says a lot about what he values.)

I visualise his wanting to escape reality with Stanzcyk (the Polish painting). Nikolai is the jester, but desperately wishes he could be carefree like the celebrating nobles in the background. But he can't. No matter what, no matter how he tries, he can't escape reality, and so he does the next best thing: he does the unthinkable. He becomes what any normal person can't even fathom, does what any sane man couldn't, and desperately tries to lose himself in it. (In my story, this is a worse version of what's already occurred: a few years ago, Nikolai became an actor in hopes of losing his misery to the stage, but when that failed and he became suicidal, Fyodor helped him pull through. Now, Nikolai tries to lose himself in a much more involved and self-destructive way (notably still through acting), and Fyodor, though much more negatively now, is still the force that's keeping him alive.)

At first, he may have even deluded himself into thinking he'd somewhat succeeded in losing himself, but then Fyodor makes his "in opposition to God" comment, and Nikolai is at once violently dragged back into himself. It's a wonderful feeling to be understood, yet terrible, because as long as such an anchor exists, he can never escape (bonus points if in a backstory fic, Fyodor being Nikolai's anchor to reality was a positive in their relationship, creating a contrast here).

And so now, every time he thinks about wanting to share a thought or idea with Fyodor, the only person with whom he can genuinely converse, he first gets a nice feeling at the thought, then falls into despair at the thought of losing that connection (Fyodor is constantly putting himself in mortal danger, and as much as Nikolai believes in him, it also makes sense to me that he'd be worried out of his mind at times), anger that his emotions still control him, and this reinforces his feelings of needing to escape. It's a constant merry-go-round of love and misery, and he just wants to be on stable ground, essentially.

And I think if I do that, it starts to be compelling. It's not quite there, let alone polished, but it's a lot farther than I've gotten before. And 'Arcane' story analyses are really helping me with contrast, callbacks and foreshadowing.

[inkykeiji]

what’s the furthest touya-nii would go (physically) to punish reader? was the branding where his sadism taps out? what would he have to do to truly feel bad for harming her?

🌿anon

oooh herb good question!!

tw: physical harm/abuse, extreme sadism, mention of murder + suicide, extremely toxic relationship + mindset

i mean touya-nii is a yandere, right, so technically his punishments could go as far as murder if she were to ever try to leave him and refused to come back with him (very much a ‘if i can’t have you then no one can’ case, but he would only kill her—and then himself—if he thought it was truly the only option he had left. he’d exhaust every other option available to him, including kidnapping and restraint, before resorting to a murder-suicide. he’d really, really rather not kill her). but we all know he’s fucked her up so badly that she’d never ever leave him of her own accord, so murder isn’t something either of them need to worry about. i’d say that the branding is probably as far as his sadism goes. he’d absolutely be willing to carve, cut, burn, scratch, and scar his name into her as many times as he deems fit (i’ve said this before but i LOVE the idea of touya branding you with his name over and over again with different tools/weapons each and every time you really misbehave).

it’s definitely possible that he’d force her to wear those pretty n terrifying rings, but as i mentioned there it would only be in the case where he believes she needs a hefty reminder that she belongs to HIM and no one else. there’s a very low chance he may break a bone or two if he deems it truly ‘necessary’, but she’d have to do something really bad to warrant such a thing (like try to escape him!). he’d never like, cut an appendage off though, or permanently physically disable her (he’d rather chain her to a bed or a wall).

the sad fact of the matter is that he’d never feel bad or guilty for a punishment, no matter how sadistic and gruesome and cruel it is. if it’s a punishment, then to HIM that means she deserves it. the only time touya would ever feel bad for harming her would be if it were unintentional. otherwise, there’s no guilt to be felt there. touya barely feels guilt or remorse in the first place, for anything he does, especially when he does it on purpose.

[daintydoilypon]

I went on a lowkey rant about that girl who cheated on her husband and I would like to share my favorite diss-

"She has an inferiority complex as big as her forehead."

Thank you.

[ichthyorelationships]

ideas: i didn't really think of him being underwater but they deserve to have drama by crying there too so i just think you could say something about the composition being denser than water or w/e. proteins

i'm always like good thing he didn't try to exit asap via swimming in ciao alberto But What If He Did lol. just swim Somewhere else along the coast, maybe panic about [money??] & whether somehow this ruins school for luca, whether he can get in touch w/o it being On Sight b/w him & all marcovaldos, consider just kind of trying out other places, traveling after all...fascinating considering the other povs on the issue like: now there's the paguros to sympathize w/a kid vanishing, luca however in a somewhat more novel position there, giulia's throwback to alberto being a bit perplexing lmao, kind of thinking the best massimo could do is have a prewritten letter for luca to give to alberto If Possible, conveying something like i know you didn't set my livelihood on fire on purpose but even if you did i'd want you to stay. and luca in a position to do all of "maybe give the island fun facts so someone can check if he's there" & "wait & hope alberto can/does get in touch" & "have a lot of feelings"....not even the context of what this drawing is about necessarily, just tacking it on here anyways. ahead of time i went "heh now i Know they're gonna have it get little Real here b/c it's really about alberto wanting the security of feeling he can 'earn' a sustained relationship" then the short cleared & i was lying completely dead on the pavement

[mariocki]

L'isola degli uomini pesce (Screamers, 1979)

"Oh, well, I can understand that a scientist like Marvin is ready to give his life for a discovery of this magnitude. But you don't give a damn about science, do you, Rackham? All you care about is the treasure down there, and I'm damn sure it won't be used to promote anyone's research."

"Yes, I'm afraid you're right. I intend to keep it all for myself. Dreadful, isn't it?"

[pissfizz]

I know I’ve become an extremely unbearable person to be around and people don’t like me and that I am fundamentally awful. I know acknowledging what you’ve done or who you are us bad doesn’t make it okay and that you actually have to work to make things better. But I don’t know how. How do you make yourself a better person when it’s everything that you are that you’d have to get rid of. How am I supposed to fix myself without replacing every piece. How do I become something people like when I am at my core unpleasant and awful.

[daeluin]

30mins onwards...... dear god i miss old yeezy

[albtrosz]

.

[lecliss]

If someone says they're part of the Naruto fandom you need to immediately run and never look back. Ever.

[newvision]

I love loving people even when I hurt!!!! Love’s such a great gift!!!!! I’m capable of love and forgiveness and I’m more than my anger and pain, how wonderful