#truly cannot overstate how much i love this !!!!

[tastymelonfarm]

if I think about katniss and peeta too long my vision starts to look like when you take damage in a cod game

[dollypopup]

I truly cannot overstate just how much I adore Colin Bridgerton as a male love lead, and how important his story is, in particular in a current, modern reading. We live in a time of alpha male machismo that in many ways mirrors the sexism of the historical time period Colin is in, and we have a hero who explicitly rejects it. More than that, we have a hero who first tries on the persona, first tries to fit in, and then determines, with no outside influence and all on his own, that it's wrong. That he doesn't want to be like the men of his society, that he doesn't like the expectation of sex without love and commitment and connection, that he doesn't want to be 'one of the boys', even if it comes at their derision.

Because when Violet says he has always been her most sensitive child, when he has always considered others before himself, when he has always offered a joke or a moment of levity- for so long, he felt he had to. That there was no other choice.

Colin Bridgerton, The Great Pretender, is finally coming into the light.

Take my hand. Come walk with me.

Colin's arc is incredibly clear, and incredibly dear to me. We can track his progress throughout the seasons he has been in, but if we consider his backstory, it comes even more in clarity.

Piecing together a timeline with some influence from the books and loose historical accuracy, Colin loses his father at 12 and then is sent off to Eton. And he is a tiny thing when his father passes, shorter even than his 9 year old sister, Eloise.

(Yes, I checked!! He's half a head shorter than Eloise, and an entire head shorter than Daphne. This boy is SMALL)

So it makes a lot of sense to me that this is the start of his fake-it-to-make-it personality. He cannot grieve with his family in these circumstances, he's been sent off to school with other boys who are bigger and stronger than him, and he must realize relatively quickly that weakness in their eyes will never be tolerated. In fact, Eton was well known for corporal punishment and bullying during this time. Older boys were well known to mistreat the younger once, and considering just how small and soft-hearted Colin is, and just how vulnerable he is having lost his father-

Of course Colin would become a target of such.

And despite that, we meet him in Season 1 with an endearing earnestness and hopefulness in the world. Something inside him, something sweet and gentle and warm, thrives to live. And fights against grief to do so. How easy it would have been for him to lose his father and be bitter. How easy for him to see his father die from the steps of Aubrey Hall, to be sent to a boarding school away, and withdraw in on himself.

And yet, he doesn't.

At least, not in the way one would suspect. Instead, Colin becomes a chronic people pleaser. If the people around him are happy, then he will be safe. Will not be hurt. And they have no space for his own hurt, regardless. There's hardly even any space for his mirth, as most people didn't even reply to his letters on his travels the previous season.

In Colin's confession in Season 3, he says 'I have spent so long trying to feel less', and this numbing begins early in his life. He's a consummate gentleman in Season 1. He does everything by the book, everything as he should. He wants to be accepted in his society, wants to be taken seriously, wants to belong. So he sees a pretty woman, and he gets along with her well enough, and he courts her. Openly, honestly, in full view. It isn't a heart-stopping love, but he has numbed himself for years at this point, so affection will do, and if proper men of his society are married, well, maybe he'd finally be taken seriously.

And yet, no one notices him, even still. No one except Penelope. His own mother doesn't recognize his behavior, and worries for him after she does. How long has it been since she's actually seen him? We know from the show that he's incredibly close to his mother, and loves her dearly, but we also know that after Edmund's passing, Violet was mired in grief and post-partum depression. Colin misses much of this as a firsthand witness since he's at school, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't be able to tell, wouldn't be affected by losing his mother and father in one fell swoop. In fact, Colin loses his connection to the majority of his family in being sent to school so soon after the tragedy. So of course he comes back and he tries not to make waves. Tries to do things correctly.

His friction with Anthony proves time and time again that nothing he does is entirely ever able to fully please him, and this causes contention in their brotherly bond. Of all the siblings, Anthony is arguably the most harsh with Colin. And he is also the model for who a man should be in the family, as the head of the family.

So when Anthony sees Colin earnestly try to marry, he scoffs him off. Accuses Colin of only wanting to marry to have sex, and then claiming "It is my fault. I should have taken you to brothels." This is the first on-screen shaming of Colin looking for connection before sex, and Colin doubles down. He wants to marry for love.

But he doesn't actually love Marina. Neither of them truly know each other, and so when it all blows up, and he is humiliated to the entirety of his community, Colin gets his first taste of romantic failure. He tried to do it right, and it ended more wrong than he could have ever imagined. So, maybe Anthony was right. Maybe he is just a foolish, green boy, who has no idea how to go about things. The fallout of his failed engagement echoes in the persona he puts on in Season 3, and the choices he undergoes during them. Is it any wonder he ends up going to brothels to have unfulfilling sex if even his own BROTHER, the head of his family, tells him to do so?

It doesn't happen right away, though. Despite the fact that no one truly checks on him or sees how this breakup effects him (Eloise dismisses the hurt he must feel in light of such events with an honestly rather accurate wave-away "Men are always less affected", and that is true), it is evident that he is NOT okay.

We leave Colin in Season 1 putting on a mask, a happy face to his family, a 'you inspired me' to Penelope, and then spends his travels sad. Depressed. Taking drugs to try to ease his mind, occupying himself with writing to Penelope. In Season 2, he spends the entirety of it trying to be useful. And he does this with Penelope. He feels deeply for her, he cares so much for her, and he even says it to her aloud 'You are special to me' and 'I will always look after you' and how he could never give her up. Season 2 is a season of healing for Colin- he closes his chapter with Marina with a relationship post-mortum conversation after he does a wellness check to make sure she's alive (let's be real here, no one else was going to reach out to her. She made it clear to him that even her own father didn't want her), makes amends with Will, proves himself useful to Penelope, and departs on a high: he thinks he threaded the needle. He thinks he was successful sending Jack off, that he made Penelope happy, and that he's in with The Boys.

But whilst the person he is around Penelope is genuine, the person he is around these men are not. We know from Season 3 that they don't actually like him. They make snide, underhanded comments toward him, and laugh at him. I stand by the idea that end of season 2 is Fife and Co. laughing at Penelope AND laughing at Colin. They don't care about their friendship, they're teasing him for caring about her so openly, and Colin is protective of the relationship he has with Penelope. So he makes a comment for the boys, and puts on his mask. 'I would never court Penelope Featherington' (look, I'm just like you. I walk like you, talk like you, speak like you) 'Not in your wildest fantasies, Fife' (I am one of you one of you one of you- so why does it feel so hollow?)

He gets, now, his first taste of acceptance from them. They come to him to Mondrich's bar, he repays his slight against him, and he feels he is one of them. (Does he truly *want* to be one of them?) And so when we open Season 3, it's a smooth progression.

Colin is walking the walk and talking the talk, and yet his heart isn't in it. He's not one of these smarmy men, but he mimics them. Their behavior. In part, at least. Whilst Fife is out preying on 18 year old women in coat closets, Colin is telling gaggles of girls how pretty they are and how with such nice dresses, they're sure to find a husband. He makes it clear he's not an option, but that he doesn't mind being a fantasy. And Luke Newton does an amazing job making that clear: there are three sides of Colin. The Colin portrayed to his society in the light in good company (1) and the Colin portrayed to his society in the dark, in. . .less savory circles (aka: The Lads)(2), his 'armor' as his mum calls it. And finally, the most important but the one kept closest to the chest: the Colin of truth. The Colin who cries alone in his room after a breakup, the Colin who doesn't burden others with his feelings, the Colin who writes to Penelope, the Colin who loves deeply and feels deeply.

But his society has no use for a man like the real Colin, they do not *want* a man like real Colin, so he puts it under lock and key. And so much of this is centered around his feelings about sex, so here comes my 'Colin is Queer' soapbox. Colin does not experience sexual attraction like the rest of the men of the ton. He is expected to find it casual and be cavalier about it. To just want to fuck for the sake of fucking. But Colin needs love and romance and connection to actually enjoy sexual interactions. Nowadays, we recognize this as being on the asexual spectrum, of being demisexual, but he didn't have words for that in the time period he's in, so he has to forge ahead to figure himself out without a community identity to find solidarity with. That's what makes the brothel scenes so interesting as a narrative device: in the first, he's masking even in the midst of it, and in the second, he can't. After kissing Penelope, he finally, for the first time in his life, has a sexual interaction that means something to him.

It's the first one he truly enjoys, and the first one that feels right to him. It clicks for him that oh, that's what it's meant to be like. And the strain of that realization whilst still having to be what his society expects of him puts immense stress on his shoulders. You see how he grows more and more uncomfortable about the conversations, until finally he rejects it outright.

Even when it's very much not encouraged for him to do so. He's even told "You are much more fun this season." That's why he hides himself. From near everyone, even his family, even his brothers. It's telling how Anthony's positive interaction with Colin is when they're at the club, and Anthony praises him for his most recent attention. Have we seen much of Anthony being proud of Colin, otherwise? Not really. So he's reinforced in his persona. Doesn't boast of his travels because it didn't have anyone liking him for it, before. Doesn't even say how many cities he's gone to. Except with Penelope.

In the books, there's a line about their kiss, referencing how his world will never be the same. And it won't be. Because when Colin says that she helps him see the world in new ways, it's in a multitude of meanings.

Penelope refuses to let him wear the mask, because in truth, Penelope is the only one who doesn't like it. Not only does she see the real Colin, but she enjoys the real Colin. Whilst everyone else is simpering over Colin's new look and attitude, rejects who he is in reality, Penelope dismisses it, wants the person she knows him to be instead. It's only when he strips down the facades that Penelope allows him into her life again. And her Whistledown article was harsh, but it was also true. He *is* masking. He *is* putting on a persona and a role. But she was wrong when she asked if Colin even knows which is real: Colin knows very well which is real. And he also knows the realities of him haven't been accepted.

When Colin tells Penelope charm can be taught, he speaks from experience. When he says 'living for the expectations of others is a trap' it is because he has already fallen into it, and if he can't dig himself out, maybe he can keep her from it. Colin tells her 'you do not need lessons' and that she is fine exactly as she is, because just as she sees the real him and loves him, he sees the real her, and loves her, too. But they both live in the constraints of their society, and so they both put on the masquerade. Even sometimes to hide from each other.

The current climax of his arc is when he's out with the lads, after they all go off to the brothel again, and he disassociates from the experience. Playing cards and insisting on sharing sexual exploits, to which he does not want to take part, and makes a lighthearted dig at them. 'There is no gentleman at this table'. He includes himself in that, and then clarifies. He speaks aloud for the first time to them the truth of his heart- 'Do you not ever tire of the expectation to remain cavalier about the one thing in life that holds genuine meaning? Do you not find it lonely?' Can it really only just be him?

And it is. Or, maybe it isn't, but the rest of them aren't brave enough to admit it, so they're okay in making him feel like it is, in outcasting him for being a romantic, for caring about a woman beyond what she can provide for him sexually. Colin professes he doesn't like who he's become, doesn't like the expectations for him to behave the way he has, and they laugh at him. Again. He is made fun of, again.

He goes home and he falls in his bed and he feels like he lost it all. Lost Penelope to his own advice, and lost his newfound shine in his community. But when he's faced with which one matters more to him, he chooses Penelope. Unhesitatingly.

Colin chooses to be sensitive. He chooses to be a warm-hearted, gentle man in a society that prefers sexist machismo. Act one way in the light and another in the shadows. Colin wants to live authentically, as a man he doesn't really have a role model for. He is brave and he is tender, he sees the sexism of his society and he rejects it. He sees the importance Penelope has in his life, the way she makes him feel, and he embraces her wholeheartedly. He wants love and romance, he wants connection and meaning.

Colin, The Great Pretender, sick of pretending. Colin, walking into that ballroom and giving Fife the cut direct when he invites him out. Colin, cutting into a dance in the middle of a ball between Penelope and a man the entire city knows is about to propose. Colin staring deeply into her eyes with such unfiltered longing even *Cressida* can't help but notice what's going on. Colin running off after Penelope in full view of his society, outrunning a *carriage* to see her. Begging her to let him in. Colin on his knees, all but flaying his chest open for Penelope to see his heart. Colin made a choice when that candle flickered out, and his choice was Penelope. His choice was himself. And his choice was to flip off societal expectation and to live for love, damn the consequences.

I think our own world would be a better place if modern men took his example, too. Colin Bridgerton as male love lead in Bridgerton, a global show, is such a refreshing, wonderful example. A man who tried to be like what the world wanted, and who decided to go against the gender norms of his time. A man who prioritizes the woman he loves, who risks ridicule in doing so and comes to realize that he doesn't care. He doesn't care anymore about being one of the boys, one of the lads, one of the guys. Fuck his society if his society can't recognize the beauty of what he feels with Pen. He cares about being the best self he can be. And that best self is around Penelope, inspired by Penelope.

Because how he is with Penelope? God, I could swoon. At every turn, he prioritizes her comfort and personhood. He validates her, he sees her in beautiful, positive light and he helps her see herself that way, too. He encourages her to be brave because he already feels she is, he refuses to let her call herself stupid or a laughingstock, he apologizes without excuses, he checks in on her every step of the way. He's so passionate in that carriage, he's burning for her, he's yearning, but he doesn't do anything until she agrees for him to. He confesses his feelings and when she says they're friends, he backs off. He listens, he cares. He apologizes for overstepping her boundaries, and then when she gives him her consent, the only thing on his mind is showing how much he wants and appreciates her by providing her pleasure. Colin, the people pleaser, dedicated only to pleasing two people in that moment: Penelope, and himself. Because he wants to do that, to give her an orgasm that exists just for her. He's a witness to it, and that's pleasure for him, too. He waits for her nod of consent, he revels in seeing her enjoying herself. And the aftercare- I could cry.

Colin is a man who had every single reason not to be a kind, sensitive soul, and still he chose it. Chose to share it because the headline, even a wallflower can bloom, that's not just for Penelope.

It's for Colin, too.

[mysillycomics]

Hi everyone! This is Claire. I am writing to let you all know that we did it. We saved Bailey and Tiger Fluff, and we all live together in an apartment in Illinois, my home state. We really, really did it!!!

You can read our thanks, thoughts, and more under the read more :0)

(note: Oliver also goes by Bailey! She has two names.)

There are many important people on this journey that we would like to specifically thank.

First, all of our friends (especially Peregrine, Sophie, and Jackson) who were there on the day Bailey was evicted, who listened to me and helped me figure out what to do when I felt more lost than I’ve ever been. Without them we wouldn’t have been able to act so quickly and efficiently. Because of them, we were able to formulate a plan.

Speaking of Jackson, he and his partner Cherri need to be thanked once again. Jackson drove all the way from his home, Bailey’s motel, and back to get both her and Tiger to a place to stay while we figured out what to do next. They provided a warm, quiet, and safe place for both of them in a time when something like that was so far away. For the first time in a long time, I knew that Bailey was truly somewhere safe. For that, we will be forever grateful.

While we do not have their names, we would like to thank the staff of the airport and airline who helped make this journey objectively possible. They also made Tiger into a little celebrity on the flight, and everyone, including the pilot, went to greet her and congratulate her for being so brave. She really is the bravest little kitty we know.

Next are my very close friends Elle and Callan, who invited Bailey and Tiger to stay at their house not far from mine while we secured a place of our own. They, like Jackson and Cherri, gave both of them the space to simply be. I was able to visit a couple of times, and being with my favorite people made an extremely difficult time so much better. It made me think “this feeling is what we are fighting for”.

Finally, we’d like to thank you.

To all of you who read and shared our story, you helped us to feel seen and heard and not alone. Reading words of support in the comments, quote retweets, and tumblr tags truly made me feel like we could do this with everyone cheering us on.

To everyone who donated, your generosity this financially possible. As of writing, we received $19,381 from the GoFundMe. We are now able to use the rest of funds that have been tucked away in savings for rent, food, and bills. I cannot overstate how grateful we both are. What you did for us will never leave our hearts.

…

While Bailey and Fluffy were at Elle and Callan’s, we found an apartment. It was small, but perfect. We toured. We applied. And we got it.

And on December 9th, 2023, we moved in and started living together! Our goal, our dream, our driving force for so long was achieved. After three years of long distance, we finally made it.

Our home is small, and has some quirks as all homes do, but it’s ours. The love of my life, the best little cat in the word, and I are all together. We are safe, warm, happy, and loved. The future we fought so hard for us now the present. Forgive me for being long-winded. I just have so much to say about all of this! Sometimes I still can’t believe that we actually did it. But we did, we really did!!!

I’m going to keep the GoFundMe up for a little bit, but once things settle more I will close donations.

Thank you!!!!!!!!! 🧸💕

____

Hey everyone Bailey here, I cannot overstate just how grateful I am to every single one of you and how thankful I am that this journey has been able to come into fruition. It was very scary being in that motel not having a plan or knowing what I was gonna do next while everything was crumbling around me. If it wasn't for Claire and our incredibly kind and caring friends I don't know what I'd do. They helped me press on and get through this with Fluff and we finally did.

Finally we're in a place that brings nothing but peace and comfort, my anxiety has dropped and I'm doing things I've never thought possible and building up strengths I never knew I had, I feel whole in a way that I've never felt before and I'm just, happy.

I am so grateful to have Claire, for years she's been so supportive and comforting and has brought this dream we've had into reality and every day I am so thankful to have her, she is the love of my life and my best friend. The life that her, myself and Fluff now share will forever be together and we can finally begin living. 💚💜

Thank you everyone, thank you to our friends who let Fluff and I into their lives to be able to be safe while we get our bearings, thank you to everyone who said such kind and wonderfully compassionate words, cheering us on as we go, every day I was looking at the community post I made on YT and it was just filled with people being so supportive, and thank you everyone who donated and got us into where we are. We could not have done it without all of you. 🐟 ❤️ 🐟 ❤️

[mayakern]

I have three skirts from the old factory and one from the new factory, the new fabric was a little disappointing in the beginning, but it's since grown on me since it doesn't pill at all and is way cooler in warmer weather! I just bought three new skirts for the sale since I love them so much

i totally understand ppl who prefer the vibe of the old skirt material, but the new material is MUCH higher quality. the old skirts were a polyester faux jersey and had a looser weave and lower thread count, making the material much more susceptible to wear and tear and to pilling in the wash. our old factory also did not have the same certifications for quality materials that our current one does, and several times we caught them trying to switch fabric on us without saying anything, which is suuuper shady.

and as mentioned yesterday, towards the end of our working relationship their defect rate became astronomical. it was truly horrific: bad sewing, stained garments, garments that had already started to pill/fall apart. it was truly heartbreaking not just as someone whose business was relying on this product, but as someone who (while designing/selling clothing) strives to create as little garment waste as possible. we had to sell bundles of defective skirts at a steep loss just in the hopes people could repurpose the fabric for sewing projects so that we could minimize our garment waste. i cannot overstate how devastating this was to me on a personal level. there was even a while where devin and i weren’t totally certain we could keep designing and selling clothing.

our new factory not only has certifications for their ethical labor and high quality materials, but they are consistent in both the materials they use and the quality of their sewing. we know when we order a certain material from them, we will get exactly what we are expecting. they make a lot of their fabric in house and when they do special order things, because they are certified up their entire supply chain, we can feel confident that not only is the material up to par quality-wise, but it was also made ethically.

a lot of stuff has come out in the past few years about shein clothing containing lead or other harmful chemicals, or period underwear containing pfas, etc, and while based on the price point we were paying for garments and our own due diligence looking into working conditions, etc., i don’t think that was an issue with our old factory, with how much worse things have gotten since COVID, having those third party certifications and having years of records of successful audits by those third parties is absolutely invaluable to us.

[lakewillowmerewraith]

I cannot overstate how tired I am of “hot takes” in the fandom that Rhys is an evil abuser, Cassian is a beta sycophant who won’t stand up for nesta, Azriel is a white knight who needs therapy, etc etc etc etc.

If you hate the main characters of a series, why are you reading? Why are you engaging?? And shaming other fans “I can’t believe you still support Rhys, the abuser, he SAd feyre, blah blah blah”

Do these people just enjoy being upset? Do they understand that in our world, women practically cannot enjoy/support ANY IRL heroes/celebrities because every single day another one is outed as an abuser or sicko.

It is already so freaking exhausting as a woman to live in this world so WHY do we need to bring that toxicity into FANTASY. Like yes, many of Rhys’ actions, if a real man did them, would be unacceptable behavior. But this is a FANTASY series. You can read and enjoy with the understanding that it is not real and that objectionable behavior happens and is justified by the love the character has for his LI. In a fantasy world, you can believe in this “perfect love” that justifies objectionable behavior. Because it’s words on paper and that’s how the author wrote it. If Rhys lied to feyre during her pregnancy and the author says it was because he loved her and truly believed it was the best thing for her, we can take that at face value. In real life of course, this would NOT work, as there is no such thing as a perfect, selfless love, and even if there were it doesn’t excuse any wrong behavior.

Idk if this rant makes any sense, but seriously I am so sick of hearing about MMC (who authors wrote with the intention of them being ‘good’) and how toxic/abusive/evil they are, because there is already too damn much of that in REAL life. Real abusers are out there and we have to deal with them every single fucking day. Let us have a perfect fantasy PLEASE.

[bengiyo]

Wandee Goodday Ep 3 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Wandee wasn't feeling great after he was forced to call out Ter for trying to gaslight him about his feelings. Yoryak happened to see that and later rescued Wandee from Rain's (LITA) kidnapper and taking him home. Yoryak is managing his own sting at being rejected by Taem, but learned from her perspective to help Wandee. Our leads began their FWB arrangement and got to have fun with costumes (and some help from Kao) and rimming jokes. They set some rules that I expect Wandee to violate immediately. Cher and Oyei continued to be a great team.

Finally, after ten years of this, we finally acknowledge the most reliable act that two gay men can engage in with each other. They were having fun and joking with it! My Stand In, have several seats.

Curious about Yoryak's parents. Seems like there's a tragedy there.

Love that all the friends clocked the necklace on both ends and immediately called it out. Yoryak got roasted by his brother and not-in-law and I laughed so hard.

Kao does not believe the lies Wandee is telling himself.

Why are we spending time on hetero nonsense?

Not these two dancing around how much they're into each other.

I really love the team that Oyei and Cher have become before we met them. I love that Cher is helping Oyei balance these burdens he's taken on and is able to navigate his pride.

I think it's really important that the show gave us time with Wandee doing total care for a sick child and his mom, giving both of them what they needed in a serious situation.

Truly, someone please explain to these. Headed that Ter ain't gonna fuck them either!

Kao! Lie better! It really be your own hoes letting you down.

I'm interested in this boxing-based homophobia Yak has to manage and I wonder if Oyei being with Cher is the reason we haven't seen their dad.

I really love the way Oyei respects the physical limits of his boxers while being real with them about the obstacles they're facing and why they're pushing.

The fact that Yoryak hasn't taken the necklace back even though he's frustrated with Wandee says a lot. The show is using that detail well.

See, this is good writing. We used the seriousness of Oyei and Cher's relationship and their real worries about the gym to make this play from Wandee land properly. They also know that Wandee is the guy he's seeing so they're probably less concerned since they can supervise.

I'm so amped about this fight. I had hoped we'd have an excuse for Yoryak and Oyei to fight. We even get Cher holding his phone in the gayest way possible.

Oyei said he was not letting Cher go home and kicked his brother's ass.

Look at Wandee playing these fucking games. I am obsessed.

I love the no kiss rule and how badly Yoryak wants to break it. In another show I might be feeling things about the closet, but the fact that Yak has wanted to kiss for two episodes makes me trust the show.

I appreciate that despite how desperate he is, Wandee stopped when he reached a hard no.

Wandee completely misunderstood that Yoryak is a simp. All he had to do was be genuinely pathetic and he folded instantly. That's worked in literally episode.

I really hope Wandee appreciates that Yoryak is coming out to help him.

Thinking about that pasta they made in I Only Want to See You.

"You already experienced a bigger bite."

Okay, I love them ending on some soft affection before they fuck off screen.

Cannot overstate how important it is to me that we ended the last episode on Wandee telling Yoryak he needed to pay more attention to his dick and then opening on an enthusiastic 69. This episode was excellent, and I loved how well all of the moments worked with the major issue of the episode. I really love when episodic media feels episodic and I am eating good with this show. I love that for three episodes these two progress any time Wandee is sober and honest with Yoryak.

[acebytaemin]

[end of an era]: closing #analook

first of all, i want to say thank you times five billion to everyone who’s ever tagged me in a post. it goes without saying that i have enjoyed every single one of them and will treasure this entire experience and all the beautiful creations i’ve gotten to see (and discuss in great lengths in the tags of course 🤭). now, that’s partly the reason why i feel like i should wrap it up - you all create such wonderful things and they all deserve my full attention and all the yapping i can muster yet sadly just don’t have the time to type up. it’s silly how much it’s meant to me (i might be tearing up a little) and how much i’m going to miss it, but i really do think it’s for the best. of course, feel free to @ me or send me any post of yours in the future - you know i’ll respond with enthusiasm. though it won’t come close to a gif/edit/artwork, i’ve typed up little thank-you notes to the main contributors to #analook as a token of my gratitude under the cut. love & appreciate you all SO so so so much! 💖

@atlantis-area - my dearest alexa, the reason i even started a user tag and got to experience all this, thank you The most 💖 hopefully you already know how grateful i am for you, so i won’t make it too long. it’s been a pleasure (and will continue to be) to watch your giffing style evolve and to get to be a fan of taemin alongside you. love you! 🩵

@herewegobebe - oh my darling ru where do i start 🥹 i’m soooo so thankful for your wonderful presence and your gifs (as ive already told you numerous times). you’ve been a real highlight of my tag (it’s still a bit of a starstruck moment for me to be your mutual/get tagged in your gifs tbh!) and it’s going to make me really really sad to potentially miss some of your gifs now but best believe i’ll be checking ur blog whenever i can 🙂‍↕️💖

@minhosblr - MAJA my number one gorgeous wino gif source i literally can’t believe you even tagged me in them to begin with i feel like it’s all been such a successful fan moment 🥹🐰🫶🏻 thank you so so much & ofc expect me all up in your tags regardless 😽💓

@kimsuyeon - my lili the absolute master of gifs with gorgeous quality and beautiful coloring and stunning women like you can truly do no wrong in my books anytime i see a gif of yours i get giddy and feel like cracking my knuckles and going IN in the tags. thank you soooo much for gracing me (and everyone else) w your gorgeous gifs 💝

@pink-vacancy - the way im going to miss yuna & mina served on a beautiful platter cannot be overstated.. thank you so much for adding a beautiful touch of cherry red spice to my tag 🙂‍↕️🍒💋 (and kinda beside the point but also for always being SO incredibly sweet & nice to me)

@faunandfloraas - jess my third favorite australian 🤭💕 your creativity and collecting moments/pulling parallels + funny tags have brought me very many giggles, thank you saaaaur much 😽💕

@chanrizard - sa thank you soooo much for my chan gif fixes 💖 and SORRY for all the stuff you’ve had to read in your tags and still tagging me regardless lmfaojfkdjdk you best believe you’ll keep on reading them as i’ll be a frequent visitor of your blog from now on 🫡

@rainknow - your art has been one my favorite things to find in my tag, thank you so so so much for using it! most wonderful capturing of lino i’ve ever seen, no one does his eyes justice like you do 😽💖 (pls if you ever feel like it and i don’t see a post of ur art mention me or send it to me - it’d be highly appreciated!)

@linoyes - thank you SO much for amping up the amount of linos in my tag, it’s been such a delight to see your giffing evolve and im excited to keep yapping in your tags in the future 🤭💞💞💞

@jonghyunluvr - your jjong/taemin posts are always so enjoyable, i love your insights and how you notice the same things as me sometimes hehe 🩵🩵 please do keep sending them to me by all means 😌

@shorelinnes - raf pleaseeee if you want to still send me or tag me in your art.. i’d be so sad to miss it and your gorgeous gifs too! im so very happy to have you around and i appreciate all the posts you’ve tagged me in so so much 💞

@strayklds - em i remember being nervoussss to ask you to tag me hdksjdk i think your gifs are so good and want to thank you Very much for tagging me in them! it’s really been a pleasure 🫶🏻

@briankang - TAY my minchan friend and my bangchan gifs supplier you best believe i’ll be checking your blog 🤭 thank you SO much for all you’ve tagged me in so far 💖 (still thinking abt your minchan ate teasers edits.. changed my life now idk if for the better or worse but. lives have been changed for sure)

@taeiltual - bex your gorgeous edits truly make me think that most of these companies truly need to do better, thank you so much for making everyone look more beautiful and tagging me along (hehe) for the ride! 💖

@ashmp3 @kissoflifes - thank you two SO much for using my tag as intended and for the highest purpose of all - in your gorgeous selfies! (& thank you zaynab for your beautiful gifs too ofc ofc) for sure still send them to me if i happen to miss them we Do Nottt want a tragedy like that to ever strike. love u my beautiful friends 💞💞

@28reas0ns - not directly related to my tag (though you did tag me in a couple of beautiful sets!) but just wanted to once again thank you for my header gif(s) i’ll really treasure them for a long time 💝

and a shoutout to everyone who’s tagged me in a few of their posts, thank you thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart! it’s really felt special every single time and i can’t thank you all enough for thinking of me and inviting me to yap in your tags like one would a vampire into their home. MWAH appreciate you all soooo so much 💖💖💖:

@reiiofsunn 💖 @drzephyr 💖 @hyunjinsource 💖 @minho-knows 💖 @speakofcompersion 💖@linolinoing 💖 @sunugf 💖

[ineffectualdemon]

No Wei Wuxian does not have self worth issues or insecurities about his relationship with Lan Wangji or about his intelligence and skill and place in the cultivation world

But he DOES have self worth issues and insecurities but ONLY about his relationships with the Jiang's and in particular with Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli post the Lotus Pier Massacre and in particular between that moment and his death when the trauma from the massacre and losing his core/the burial mounds was fresh

In that time Wei Wuxian was not mentally well, he shoved his siblings away and closed them out leading them to feel confused and in Jiang Cheng's case utterly rejected and abandoned for seemingly no reason

He dies feeling it was the right thing for him to do because he lost his family which he had been feeling a bit insecure about even before because of Madam fucking Yu and Jiang Fengmian's fucking awful parenting

And while he is better post resurrection as he has died, he had paid the price he thought owed his brother and sister, he was still feeling shame and guilt when it came to Jin Ling

And he is also so sure that Jiang Cheng hates him, is right to hate him, and will always hate him that he's not open to the truth that Jiang Cheng can't say: that he loved him enough to die for him, that he still loves him, that he missed him and misses him still, that he wants his brother back. That all he's wanted since the day Wei Wuxian went missing was his brother to return to him

Wei Wuxian wouldn't believe it even if Jiang Cheng could find it in himself to voice it

Wei Wuxian is an extremely confident, thick faced, self assured man. With the exception of his family

Jiang Cheng is actually the same. They are mirrors. Jiang Cheng raised the banner for their clan alone as a child during a war where he knew people thought him pathetic and laughable and he built it back into one of the most powerful sects. Without Wei Wuxian

Did Wei Wuxian's return and backing during the war hasten and help? Yes. But Jiang Cheng also built it up partly before he returned and continued to build and improve his sect after the death of everyone he loved and helping to raise his nephew on his own

You don't accomplish that without having confidence in your own abilities and decisions

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng are strong, confident, men with a strong personal sense of what the right thing to do is. And when facing each other they see a person they love deeply and who is the one person who causes cracks in that confidence

Again, because of Madam Yu and Jiang Fengmian's stellar parenting /sarcastic

Really at the heart of MDZS is not Wangxian that is almost running in the background. The heart of MDZS is a very codependent enmeshed family breaking into pieces even as everyone in it tries to hold it together. Wangxian as a pairing is really about Wei Wuxian realising he can let go now.

Truly let go and build a new life with someone else who can fill the void that his family left in him but in a healthier way maybe

Which is lovely but it's also tragic

Because Jiang Cheng can't in the same way. But he also has to, because he has a nephew and sect and Wei Wuxian let go

And he has to carry the grief of being abandoned again

And maybe if he spoke up it would change things

But Wei Wuxian is happy

His brother is happy

And so he stays silent

I cannot overstate how the Yunmeng trio tragedy is the best fucking part of this story and how upsetting it is that so much of the fandom doesn't fucking understand it

And I haven't even really gotten into Jiang Yanli!

Ugh

Why am I doing this to myself?

[panthermouthh]

The death character with the shroud and halo is INCREDIBLE!!! I cannot overstate how much i love their design and how you drew them. Truly beautiful work!! Also, excellent song choice in the caption

Thank you! I may have given myself brain worms about it last night. Here’s a little more art and lore I’ve done today :)

[naamahdarling]

Kitty update:

Raleigh: We have done what diagnostics we can, and the results have been mostly inconclusive, somewhat positive, with only one negative confounding factor. That is a very mixed bag. We know that chemotherapy is likely to be ineffective. The only way to tell if the tumor is truly operable is exploratory surgery and removing anything that looks removable. If the vet answers a couple of follow-up questions positively and it is something we can afford, I would like to give him that chance. I don't love the debt that this will put us in, this is very stressful, but he is also a relatively young cat and otherwise good health. Incidentally, his eyes are doing much better. He is stepping over obstacles he cannot "see" with his whiskers and is jumping around with more confidence.

Dried Pickle Man: Smooch has historically been uncooperative but we changed the type of needle we used and did it in a different way and tonight he responded much more positively to the fluids. He was purring the whole time and didn't appear uncomfortable. If he continues to be cooperative like this, we should be able to get a little more meaningful time out of him provided we can get him to eat enough. It is possible fluids will help with his appetite. I monitor his quality of life extremely closely.

We don't have as much information as we would like about either of them, and that makes it harder to feel like we are choosing the option with the best chances of success. I do think we are doing as well as anyone could. Our veterinary team have been very direct and realistic about all of this, the conversations have not been awkward or uncomfortable. The vets at our home clinic care very, very much for our cats, and we love the vets very much as well. Even in a sad situation, it is a pleasure to work with them.

I cannot overstate my gratitude for everyone's support. I truly cannot. I wish that I had the energy and the ability to fully express to each one of you individually how much your words and material assistance have meant to us. It breaks my heart that I can't. Nothing is overlooked, nothing is unappreciated or taken for granted, everything is received with love, and that love is returned. I could not ask for better people to support us.

Thank you to those who have reached out with sympathy, advice, and pictures of your kitties to amuse and delight. It has made a confusing, frustrating, and very sad situation no less terrible, but much less lonely.

Knowing that my cats' presence on the internet has been meaningful to even a single one of you is something that I am grateful for, too. The idea that my trash tier shitposting about my crew of insufferable bastards has improved anybody's life is incredible to me, and wonderful, and frankly it is also deeply amusing. That I find love and meaning in Dried Pickle Man sneezing into my open mouth (today!) is funny enough on its own, knowing that you find it funny and meaningful when I tell you about it is actively hilarious.

Thank you for going on this absolutely terrible journey with us.

[chungledown-bimothy]

cannot overstate how much i love that lou, brennan, and aabria all went into this knowing it was erika's first time GM-ing and were like "into the deep end for them, we're gonna throw the most batshit curveballs. the goat is on reddit now."

and i mean that both as a joke and genuinely. there's so much trust at the table that every out of left field ask or character choice will be not just accepted but met and built on, and it makes for a kind of storytelling that's truly magical

[sonofthesaiyans]

Sasha's Finest Hour...

This is perhaps the only episode of Attack on Titan I would willingly watch if I were to sit down and put it back on.

"I'm Home".

Way back in the early days of season two.

Doesn't matter how much time has passed since the finale, my love and appreciation for Sasha has never wavered. And this episode here, where she showed us what she was truly made of should have been the start of much greater things for our legendary Potato Girl.

Her courage in this episode cannot be overstated. Armed with nothing but a bow and arrow, she finally managed to cast aside her fear of the Titans to save her hometown, and in doing so she saved the girl who she'd later take in as her own sister. Sasha has always been one of the most noble characters on the show, and nowhere is that clearer than in the moment she stays behind to ensure Kaya's escape.

Her character growth in the span of a single season is nothing short of impressive. She went from the odd one out among the recruits to throwing herself in the clutches of these monsters all to save an innocent life, and LIVED to tell about it.

It's from that moment that Sasha went from a silly, self-indulgent farm girl into the kind of warrior the Scout Regiment needed.....And one who earned her right to wear the Wings of Freedom. Not many who can say they fought their way out of the arms of a Titan with only an arrow for self-defense.

Sasha proved she's much stronger than she appears, her sense of justice and her compassion for others is what makes her stand out among Eren's circle of friends. And it's moments like this episode that are why I believe so strongly that Sasha had the potential to rival even Mikasa as the main heroine of this story. She's a girl with no extraordinary superhuman abilities, just a strong will to live and to stand with those who need her the most.

And we FULLY DESERVED to see a whole lot more of what this episode promised than what we ultimately got. We deserved to see more of Sasha becoming the big sister figure she was to Kaya. We deserved to see more of her with her father who was so proud of her, her mother who we NEVER saw share even a single scene with Sasha....with Mikasa her supposed close friend and roommate, with Niccolo the man who abandoned his prejudiced mindset because of her....with freaking Eren who she had once trusted.....And YES, even with the Gabi Braun, who could have learned much from Sasha without the story taking the extreme turn it did on the heels of Sasha's incredible growth......

....And Hajime Isayama owes us DEARLY for denying us all of the potential laid out by this episode.

This episode offered so much towards one character, and it could have gone even farther. Even without outright killing a Titan, something else we absolutely deserved to see at least once, this was Sasha's proudest moment. We needed more episodes/chapters like this where Sasha could show what she was truly made of.

Sasha Braus, truly the most noble of them all. ❤️ ⚔️ 🥔 ⚔️ ❤️

And with that said, "I'm Home" is also the one episode where my other favorite gal, the too often overlooked Lynne gets her introduction.

Definitely another gal for whom this episode should absolutely have been the start of something much greater.

May be weird that I feel such a strong attachment to a character who was not long for this series, but Lynne still left her mark on me. Like Sasha she is beautiful, compassionate, and rock solid in the face of danger, striking back with the same ferocity as the Titans who are constantly on the attack.

She's a capable member of Squad Miche, and her kindness and care towards Conny and the other members of the 104th make me wonder what kind of relationship she would have had with the main squad if she had been given that chance. No doubt she'd have been a force to be reckoned with, and a force to keep up with, given her gallant stand at Castle Utgard.

Truly a character who deserves a second chance to shine. And this episode gave us a great introduction to what could have been. But once again, we were robbed of that by an author who never acts on the potential he puts onscreen. But that hasn't stopped me from exploring what she could have been, what her story might've looked like, and giving her the spotlight she's overdue for.

Remember her face, because she deserves that much. Lynne earned her Wings of Freedom. ❤️ ⚔️ ❤️

Long story short, this is the one episode of Attack on Titan I'd put on if I were to do so again. This episode gave us much, and it should have been the foundation for far more than what ultimately ended up being.

Two great characters, both who richly deserved so much better.

And that's not all I have to say about this episode, guys. We'll be back on this one soon enough, so stay tuned.

[veliseraptor]

actually though you know what, possibly the thing that drives me most insane about the feelings yakuza lurking about in mdzs fandom, specifically those dedicated to a really, really shallow moral dichotomy, is the way that. okay. how do I say this.

one of the things I found so deeply refreshing about getting into mdzs, and mxtx's other novels, when I did (and also the cnovels I've read in general, tbh), was getting into a text that seemed on first blush tailor-made to work for my general love of morally questionable characters who do bad things who are in awful situations often with no good solutions, and my specific distaste for both (a) morally didactic storytelling and (b) morality-obsessed fandom.

surely, thought I, this fandom, coming from a canon where the protagonist has done absolutely hideous things to people and presumably that's not a deal breaker, can be reasonable about not taking "did this character do bad things: if yes, then bad character must die, if no, then good character perfect angel" as the beginning, middle, and end of the matter. surely! finally, a place where I can lay down my arms and my weary head, cease bearing endless arguments about who's right or who's bad and who you're allowed to like, because, you know, surely it's obvious that's not the point here

and then. and then.

it just feels like, you know, finally feeling like I had a little corner of fandom where I could just roll around in people being terrible and coping badly with their problems and have the conversation not be dominated by circle-jerking about moral correctness, because that's what the text itself seemed to be actively disinterested in doing, and then here come a whole bunch of fucking clowns hellbent on making everything about morality all over again.

and I truly cannot overstate how much I don't care about that as a lens of "analysis" (to give it a generous name), but I also cannot overstate how much it feels like everybody thinks I should care, and how tiring it is to feel like I'm once again just soaking in a downpour of people yelling about how morally upright and correct they are when like. I came here specifically because I, foolishly, thought this wasn't what we were going to be doing.

i'm just extremely fucking tired and it feels like things have been particularly rancid lately. which sure sucks the joy out of doing things like "writing fic" let me tell you

[onyourowndaisymae]

i cannot overstate how much i love barbatos and luke's dynamic. truly. barbatos is one of the most powerful demons in all of existence, able to manipulate time and space with the wave of his hand. luke is a young angel plopped down in the middle of a very dangerous situation on his superior's orders, and has to confront his internalized prejudices against demons as he lives among them. they are two of the most different characters in the series. what did the writers decide to do with them? they bake and hang out. both of them have dialogue about this as well as other characters, meaning this happens on a semi-regular basis. barbatos teaches luke new recipes in the royal kitchen and luke practices to impress his new teacher and michael and fuck i'm soft this is too sweet

[but-a-humble-goon]

I cannot overstate how much I hate the take that Harley is the only human Ivy cares about. The whole point is that Ivy never truly stopped caring about humanity no matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise. Her seeing someone in the all too familiar situation of having been used, abused and discarded by cruel men and in need of help and being unable to ignore it is entirely consistent characterization for her. Ivy didn't save Harley because she loves her, she would have saved anyone in that position. And likewise Harley didn't make Ivy human, she just brings out that better side to her.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

(different Anon here) I too enjoy reading your ramblings on ML. I have a question about the last one: "Along the same lines, the love square should never be canon unless Marinette gives up Guardianship because Adrien is a liability to the safety of the miraculouses even if he didn't wield on himself. " I don't think I really understand this, can you give an example what you meant or what consequences you thought about this?

Sure! Adrien is basically a sleeper agent. All the senti kids are.

Let's say that Adrien retires while Marinette stays Ladybug. Someone then gets their hands on Adrien's amok and says, "Wait until your wife is home, then murder her and take her miraculous."

As Ephemeral showed us, Adrien WILL do that. His love is not enough to overpower his amok even what it means the end of the world. You could also ask him to tell you all of the secrets of the miraculous and he'd sing like a canary! You don't even need to say please! Therefore, he cannot stay with Marinette because Marinette is the kind of person who will have enemies that want to kill her in order to get her miraculous or the miracle box. The only way to get around those issues is for Marinette to give up her guardianship and her miraculous, turning her back into an ordinary civilian.

I cannot overstate how massive a liability Adrien is to the safety of the world. He is the perfect way to get to Marinette and all of the other miraculouses. If the love square stays together, then Adrien will have access to Marinette at her most vulnerable, meaning that villains don't have to come up with some sort of clever plan to get to her or him or their children. They just have to steal one of his amoks and tell Adrien to do the dirty work for them.

Wearing the amoks doesn't keep them safe, Felix has shown us that. Locking them away doesn't keep them safe because that still means that someone could steal them. Can't destroy them, then Adrien dies. You could post guards on them and pay those guards well, but you'd still have to trust that they wouldn't betray you. You could possibly lock the amoks in a box and throw them into the ocean and pray that no one finds them, but that's still got risks.

Basically, Adrien's free will will never be truly his because his free will is reliant on something external to him, which is horrifying. He will never truly have the undeniable basic freedom to say "no" that we enjoy as humans. He cannot ever say "death first" to protect his wife and children. He will always obey the amok.

Obviously the miraculouses are physical objects too and so they also carry the risks of being stolen, but it's a different kind of risk, imo. If someone gets the black cat, then Marinette and Adrien can team up to try to get it back and you can't hide the fact that it's been taken. Plagg disappearing will be immediately obvious. If someone steals one of the amoks, then you'll only know whenever you try to give Adrien a command and he doesn't obey. Are they going to do a nightly command check to make sure that the amoks are real? Like this is just a very dark setup and I am baffled that they didn't have Gabriel use the wish to undo it.

If you've ever seen Fruit Basket, just think of how Kyo's bracelet is treated and how much that messed with his mother's mental health. I picture Marinette developing similar habits for very understandable reasons.

I try not to overthink stuff in kids shows, but I don't think this counts? Like this was all really obvious to me as soon as I heard the basic concept of the senti theory. A character being able to be mind controlled leading to him being controlled to do horrible things seems really like a natural expectation in a superhero show.