#tswift - peace (would it be enough if i could never give you peace)

[returnsandreturns]

tswift matt/foggy songs

EVERYBODY LOOK AWAY, THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND ANON.

but yes, absolutely, these right here

Cornelia Street 

I get mystified by how this city screams your name

(I don’t want to lose you, I hope this never ends)

The Archer

All of my heroes died all alone – help me hold onto you

Cardigan

I knew you – your heartbeat on the High Line, once in twenty lifetimes.

Dress

Say my name and everything just stops.

I don’t want you like a best friend

Exile

I think I’ve seen this film before and I didn’t like the ending

You’re not my homeland anymore – so what am I defending now?

You Are In Love

You can hear it in the silence

You can feel it on the way home

You can see it with the lights out 

Peace

The devil’s in the details but you’ve got a friend in me

Would it be enough if I could never give you peace? 

Bonus: I don’t think that False God actually fits that well but it has the lines they say the road gets hard and you get lost when you’re led by blind faith and just the whole borderline silly sexy Catholic vibe. 

[dontblamethewitches]

peace ☆ t.s.

[thishintoflove]

"Bad Blood" - A Bloodsucking Bastards Fanfic

TSwift Songfic Week Day 7 (we made it, ya’ll!)

Pairing: Max Phillips x F!Reader

Warnings: Mature but not explicit (still 18+ though please). Language, Non-descriptive mentions of sex, Blood drinking, Non-consensual vampirism

Warnings: You and Max were in a happy, established relationship until one night he accidentally goes too far... and you wake up as a vampire.

A/N: I actually had a lot of fun writing for Max, I hope he’s in-character enough! As a current MBA student, I’ve definitely experienced guys with his same “business bro” vibe.

You were going to be angry at him for the rest of eternity.

How many times did you tell him that you weren’t ready to be turned yet? It felt like a million times. You needed more time, you wanted to think about it more, it was a big decision…

And then he messed up. He made a mistake. It was an “accident”.

That didn’t mean you weren’t still pissed at him.

Did you think we'd be fine?

Still got scars on my back from your knife

So don't think it's in the past

These kind of wounds they last and they last

The night of “the incident” started like any other. You and Max have been dating for a couple of months at this point and you’ve established a regular nighttime routine. He’d come over after work, he’d watch you and distract you with kisses as you made dinner for yourself, you’d settle down together on the couch for a show or movie, and then he’d fuck your brains out until midnight.

It was a good routine and it worked well for you both. You didn’t mind that your boyfriend was a vampire, which meant you could never actually share a meal together. You ate your dinner at a normal hour, and then later in the night, Max would have his. Sometimes he’d leave your bed and go out on a midnight hunt but other nights... you let yourself be the meal. At first you were wary of letting him feed from you, but he promised he’d be gentle and he was. Working it into your sex life was just a bonus. It actually felt good most of the time. The venom stung at first but as soon as it worked its magic, it spread a numbing, calming sensation through your veins. Vampires wanted compliant prey, so you figured it made sense.

Tonight was one of those special nights. Max loved it, obviously. He swore your blood tasted better than any other human he’d tried so far. For your part, you were just pleased to see your boyfriend so giddy. You loved watching his face light up like a kid on Christmas when you responded ‘yes’ after he asked permission.

“You’re so good to me, baby,” he muttered, sucking your lower lip between his teeth as he kissed you. You moaned into his mouth and shifted your hips against his pelvis as you writhed beneath him on the bed. He had one leg between your thighs and your arms were wrapped around his shoulders and back, desperate for as much friction as possible.

“You feel so good,” you hummed, wanting to feel him everywhere. He pulled back a little and grinned down at you,

“Not as good as you, baby,” he replied. He trailed kisses along your jaw before moving down to your neck. You gasped and gripped the hair at the back of his head as he zeroed in on a particular spot. He devoted his entire focus to this new area- kissing and licking it until your entire body was covered in goosebumps.

His lips closed around the spot he was nuzzling and suddenly his teeth were sinking in. His tongue prodded at the raw spot as his teeth sunk beneath your skin, pulling a soft whimper out of you. The way he attacked the wound made you wince, all of his slowness and caution gone. The effect his feeding had on you was unsurprisingly intense-- one moment you couldn’t catch your breath, the next your breath came too fast.

Your teeth caught on your bottom lip but that did nothing to stifle your gasp as his hand slid to your thigh as he fed. The sound seemed to encourage him. All he did was suck-- suck the whole area dry of any moisture, and that suction was so hard it hurt but your body went flush with warmth and pleasure just the same. You always felt a little ashamed after, a little bit twisted and guilty when you recalled your enjoyment of this process.

Suddenly you felt more lightheaded then usual, and one of the last lingering threads of your rationality screamed at you to stop this. Max didn’t typically feed for this long- usually it was a couple of swallows and then he pulled back… but he wasn’t stopping this time.

“Max,” you gasped, knowing you couldn’t take much more-- you could feel your limbs going dangerously numb. “Max...stop...”

Your calls were soft, more pleading than insistent, and they didn’t seem to reach Max. He growled, the possessive sound echoing through your body. You could sense a wave of darkness crashing over your consciousness, and you realized that you were going to die. You were too weak to do anything, but you let out a sigh as the darkness took you. At least if you had to die now, you could say you died in the arms of someone who loved you.

***

But you didn’t die. Not really.

When you came back to yourself, Max was still there-- sitting as still as a stone statue at the end of the bed, watching you closely with wide, worried eyes.

You felt different. Everything seemed loud and bright, as if all your senses were supercharged. And your body… it felt… still. As if everything inside of you had just stopped, but your mind was still active. You finally realized what happened: you were dead. Or more accurately, you’d died and now you were a fucking vampire. A look of horror must have crossed your face because Max quickly reached for your hands and pleaded,

“I’m so sorry, love, please…. I didn’t mean to, you have to believe me-”

“Get. Out.”

Your voice was raw and strained. You couldn’t believe it. How could you have let this happen? How could he have let this happen? Max promised he’d always remain in control with you, but he didn’t. He couldn’t control himself and now you were a monster. Just like him.

“I never meant for it to go this far, but at least I stopped myself before you went dry!” Max babbled, desperately trying to meet your eyes but you remained frozen in place, staring at the wall. “You’re not dead, you’re just… like me now. That’s not so bad-”

“I said, get out, Max!” you yelled, ripping your hands away and standing from the bed. You crossed your arms across your chest, trying not to cry when you realized you couldn’t feel your own heartbeat. Then you realized you couldn’t cry either.

Max didn’t move to touch you again but you heard him stand from the bed- your new senses giving you a clear image in your mind of what he was doing even though your back was turned. “Baby, please listen-”

“Don’t make me say it again. You’ve done enough. Now leave me alone.”

He sighed, but he didn’t argue anymore. You remained frozen in place as he gathered his things and left your apartment. You didn’t move until you heard his car driving away down the street.

And when you did move, finally, you went hunting. Because the only thing you could focus on, besides your intense anger at Max, was your extreme desire for human blood.

Now we got problems

And I don't think we can solve them

You made a really deep cut

And baby now we got bad blood

You took two weeks paid vacation after Max turned you. Getting the time-off approved was easy since your boss was also your guilty (potentially ex) boyfriend.

When you did come back to the office, the other vampire employees welcomed you with open arms. You felt a little more like your old self as you jumped back into your regular work routine, but on your second day back Max called you into his office for a private meeting. You’d been avoiding him for two weeks- ignoring his texts, calls, and emails- and you braced yourself for the awkwardness of having your first conversation happen at the office.

“Glad to have you back,” he said, standing up behind his desk and gesturing for you to sit down.

You frowned at his casual tone. “Yeah. Well. Even vampires have to pay the bills, right?”

You thought you noticed his perfect grin falter for a moment before he quickly shook it off with a chuckle.

“That is so true. I’m glad to see you getting back into the swing of things.”

You merely hummed in response, eyeing him warily as he slowly circled his desk and came to stand right in front of you. His business smile slowly melted into a sultry smirk as he leaned forward towards you,

“So… is it safe to assume that you’re here because you’re ready to pick up where we left off?”

“Oh Max, I know you’re not that stupid,” you grumbled, glaring at him as he reached out to card his fingers through your hair.

“What do you mean?”

You responded by grabbing his hand and easily flipping him over your shoulder using all your new vampire strength, so that he landed hard on the ground behind your chair.

“You’re not forgiven. I’m still mad at you,” you growled, turning to look at him on the floor. He wasn’t actually injured, obviously, but he looked hurt and confused.

“Baby pleeeease, I miss you!” he whined, giving you a pouty face that you used to find adorable before he’d accidentally turned you into a damn vampire without your consent.

“Stop it. I told you I need more time.”

“Fine.” he pouted, standing up and smoothing out the wrinkles in his dress shirt. “I can wait. You’ll forgive me eventually.”

“We’ll see about that,” you said with a roll of your eyes.

“You will. You’ll realize that this is actually a gift. And I know I shouldn’t have done it so soon, but I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

You stood up from the chair and shook your head as you prepared to leave his office.

“Whatever you say, Max…”

Now did you think it all through?

All these things will catch up to you

And time can heal but this won't

So if you come in my way, just don't

“I have a surprise for you!”

Max’s sing-song voice interrupted your peaceful lunch break. As a vampire, you obviously had no need for human food, but you still preferred to take a break at lunch time. You were currently alone in the break room, reading a magazine and enjoying the silence. You frowned at Max as he waltzed into the room.

“No need to frown, baby! I brought you a treat.”

He was grinning and holding something behind his back. You carefully shook your head and lay down your magazine. “I’m not your baby anymore, Max.”

“Not right now maybe, but you’ll take me back after you see what I’ve brought you!”

“Fine, I’ll bite,” you replied with a roll of your eyes, “What is it?”

Max pulled the object from behind his back and held it out to you. You tilted your head, trying to figure out what it was, before you realized it was a blood bag. A hospital grade, completely filled, blood bag.

“I know you don’t like the idea of ‘getting messy’ during work hours-”

“You mean I don’t like committing murder and sucking people dry during work hours? Yes, you’re correct,” you interrupted, rolling your eyes again.

“Well… I found a solution for you. Easy, portable, delicious blood on-the-go!”

You frowned in disapproval. “You can’t just steal blood from donation centers!” you told him incredulously, not caring when his face fell at your disappointed tone, “Where did you even get this? The Red Cross? The hospital? There are people who really need this stuff!”

“Who cares?” Max replied, looking genuinely confused, “They’re all going to die at some point anyway.”

You shook your head, “This is why I wasn’t ready to be turned. You’ve lost your humanity and I’m not ready to jump onboard the ‘fuck the whole human race’ train yet. I know you thought you were being sweet, but this is wrong.”

“Oh. Well if you don’t want it…”

A growl rose in your throat as those words left his lips. As much as you disagreed with his methods, your new vampire instincts were screaming at you to snatch the blood bag from his hands and gulp it down until you were finally satisfied. The scent of the blood called to you, sang to you in the sweetest tone, and it was taking everything you had not to completely lose it right now.

“No, I’ll take it,” you said a little too quickly, reaching for the bag, “Just don’t do it again.”

Max smirked as he handed the blood bag over.

“That’s what I thought. I remember what it’s like to be a new vampire”, he said quietly, stepping closer to you, “how hungry you are before you’re able to improve your tolerance and time between feedings… I’m just trying to help you.”

He leaned forward and placed a small kiss on the top of your head, but you snarled and pushed him back. He merely chuckled as he watched you rip open the blood bag and begin to suck it down.

“That’s my girl,” he murmured. He backed away and casually leaned against the door frame. If you were thinking straight, you’d feel annoyed and even embarrassed to have him watch you sink into a feeding frenzy but your human mind was long gone. So you sucked every drop of blood from the bag as he stared in admiration.

Oh, it's so sad to think about the good times

You and I

'Cause baby now we got bad blood

As much as you were still angry at Max, you really did miss him.

Things were going really well in your relationship before he made the fatal mistake. You had a lot in common. You were both focused on succeeding at work, you both hated whining and incompetence, and you shared a similar sense of humor. But you weren’t sure how you were supposed to forgive such a major breach of trust.

Rationally you knew it was a mistake and that you’d agreed to him feeding from you in the first place, and accidents happen… but the irrational side of you wanted to stay mad at him. It was easier to have someone to blame. It let you off the hook as you tried to grapple with your new reality and decide if it was something you really did want. Being a vampire really wasn’t that bad, once you got used to it...

“You heading home soon? It’s past six.”

Speak of the devil…

Max’s voice interrupted your thoughts and you glanced up at him. He was hovering at the edge of your desk, his briefcase in one hand and his jacket over his arm. He gave you a small smile but his eyes were cautious, knowing that you were still mercurial around him.

“Yeah I’m just wrapping things up. I have one more report summary, and then I’ll go.”

“Okay,” he said, nodding, “Keep up the good work then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He was letting you go, and something about that made your non-beating heart soften. He was already walking toward the door when you called out,

“Or I could head out now…”

He slowly turned, and you knew him well enough to recognize that he was desperately trying to hide a smirk.

“Great, I’ll hold the elevator for you.”

You smiled and grabbed your bag. You weren’t going to let him off the hook just yet, but you knew you’d be able to forgive him someday. After all, you had all of eternity.

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

Hello my favourite Chestervelle shipper!

Taylor Swift songs (or some specific lyrics) that SCREAM Dean and Jo

If you tell me you don't listen to tswift I'm done with you 😭☺️

Not really cause I love you and all but I'm not kidding

Hey!!! 🥰 If it isn't my favorite Chestervelle fan!!! Me??? Your FAVORITE?? Thank you so much!!! I love you too!!!

Half my writing (aka chestervelle) playlist is Taylor lmao!

Okay here's a quick legend: ; semicolons are used to differentiate combined lyrics separated by commas / forward slashes are to separate lyrics from different parts of the song. Now let's get to it!!

Lyrics that SCREAM Chestervelle as they are in canon, The "What Might've Been" Collection

the 1:

(this one is my #1, no pun intended, if you couldn't tell by my header and title already lmao. This song makes me YEARN)

you know the greatest films of all time were never made / I guess you never know, you never know; and if you wanted me, you really should've showed / but we were something, don't you think so? / and if my wishes came true, it would've been you / but if would've been fun, if you would've been the one / persist and resist the temptation to ask you; if one thing had been different, would everything be different today? / rosé flowing with your chosen family; and it would've been sweet, if it could've been me /

gold rush:

(this song is very season 2 Jo vibes)

I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush, I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch; everybody wants you, everybody wonders what it would be like to love you; walk past, quick brush; I don't like slow motion double vision in rose blush, I don't like that falling feels like flying til the bone crush; everybody wants you, but I don't like a gold rush / and the coastal town we wandered 'round had never seen a love as pure as it, and then it fades into the gray of my day old tea, cause it could never be / my mind turns your life into folklore, I can't dare to dream about you anymore / and the coastal town we never found will never see a love as pure as it, cause it fades into the gray of my day old tea, cause it will never be

'tis the damn season:

(this one hurts bro... I'm yearning... you know when Jo's ghost puts her hand on his cheek and he leans into it Like That... that's what the first lyric listed here makes me think of)

there's an ache in you, put there by the ache in me / now I'm missin' your smile, hear me out; we could just ride around / and the road not taken looks real good now / and wonder about the only soul who knows which smiles I'm faking

peace:

(This song is just Dean's inner monologue in my opinion)

I never had the courage of my convictions, as long as danger is near; and it's just around the corner, darlin' cause it lives in me; no, I could never give you peace / but I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm, if your cascade ocean wave blues come / all these people think love's for show, but I would die for you in secret / would it be enough if I could never give you peace? / but you know that I'd swing with you for the fences, sit with you in the trenches; give you my wild, give you a child; give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other; family that I chose, now that I see your brother as my brother / give you my sunshine, give you my best; but the rain is always gonna come, if you're standin' with me

cardigan:

(Hdgjfhkdfjdhk all of these make me emotional)

you drew stars around my scars, but now I'm bleedin' / tried to change the ending, Peter losing Wendy / but I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss, leave me standin' in my what if's

The lyrics that SCREAM Chestervelle in the ideal fanon universe, The "Daydreaming" Collection:

You Are In Love:

(Literally this ENTIRE song except the line about his office downtown but hey, works for au still. This song is my #1 fanon song hhkhkfgifhk but these lyrics are my absolute favorite AAAAHH)

Morning, his place; burnt toast, Sunday; you keep, his shirt; he keeps, his word; and for once, you let go; of your fears, and your ghosts; one step, not much; but it said, enough / you kiss on sidewalks; you fight, then you talk / one night, he wakes; strange look, on his face; pauses, then says; "You're my best friend"; and you knew, what it was; he is in love

Everything Has Changed (feat. Ed Sheeran):

(this song makes me !!!!!!!!!)

and all I've seen since eighteen hours ago, is green eyes and freckles and your smile in the back of my mind making me feel like; I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now / cause all I know is we said "hello", and your eyes look like comin' home; all I know is a simple name, and everything has changed / and all my walls stood tall painted blue; but I'll take em down, take em down and open up the door for you; 

and all I feel in my stomach in butterflies the beautiful kind, makin' up for lost time, making me feel like; I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now

State Of Grace:

(It's about "mosaic broken hearts" for me... did someone say "don't you think I'm a little twisted too?")

And I never (never) saw you comin', and I'll never (never) be the same / you come around and the armor falls, piercing the room like a cannonball / we learned to live with the pain, mosaic broken hearts; but this love is great and wild

Lover:

(It's about "my heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue")

There's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear / have I known you twenty seconds, or twenty years? / My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue; all's well that ends well to end up with you

ME! (Feat. Brendon Urie):

(This song is just a fun time and Brendon Urie is my BOY!! This whole song is good but these lyrics in particular have always made me think of them)

I know I never think before I jump; and you're the kind of guy the ladies want / I know you never get just what you see; but I will never bore you, baby

[finaledenialist]

Has anyone mentioned Peace by Taylor Swift?! Because that was my post-confession pre-finale repeat destiel song and then my post-finale cry song. "I would die for you in secret" is my destiel mantra even though they've literally died for each other in not so secret. But it's all about how being together is anything but peaceful and their messy relationship and deep love is just that. Thanks for listening to this destiel/tswift trash :)

PEACE. YEAH LET’S TALK ABOUT THAT.

I never had the courage of my convictions As long as danger is near and it's just around the corner, darling

you know, tfw you don;t speak your truth until you are sure you are going to die. because at the very least you won't have to face the consequences that way.

All these people think love's for show But I would die for you in secret The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

cas can you be like more obvious

But there's robbers to the east, clowns to the west

and that line is specifically for us, clowns :) glad she included us. true heller queen <3

[warrier-queann]

Emori and John Murphy (Memori)

TSwift Song: Peace

Peace is a song about two people who find solace in each other even though they are both storms by themselves. This I feel describes Memori perfectly.

The lyrics: “The devil's in the details/ But you got a friend in me/ Would it be enough/ If I could never give you peace?” are what truly describe Murphy. He is often seen as a monster or bad person (devil) by those around him. He has no real family until season 5, and even then isolates himself. Murphy is constantly at war with others and himself. His personality is not one that originally would settle down and he finds a friend in Emori.

Emori is speaking through the lyrics: “Give you my wild, give you a child/ Give you the silence that only comes/ When two people understand each other.” She is a wild person by the Ark’s definition and the “child” relates to the pregnancy suspicions in S7 that we all know should have been real. They are also able to communicate without speaking or from a single glance, often silent around each other but deep.

Emori gains a family by being with Murphy. She gains Spacekru and the children in Sanctum. The familial lyrics are here: “Family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother,” as her and Bellamy were also quite close as brother and sister.

“But the rain is always gonna come/ If you're standing with me.” Talks again about Murphy. Bad things do happen to him, and he has done bad things. This is like him believing that he is worthless in S5.

Then there is the repeated mantra in the song. “Would it be enough/ If I could never give you peace?” Neither of them feel important or wanted before they meet each other. They live in a world that constantly tries to tear them apart and kill them.

In the end though, they get their peace.

[hermionegranger56]

ok lads its time for my breakdown of folklore, something absolutely no one is asking for but here we are!! this album. thIs ALBUMMMM. dear GOD. the intersection of my two favorite things, taylor swift and indie folk???? i feel like i’m dreaming. when she announced the surprise drop i literally burst into tears and evidently for good reason lol.

anywho here’s the thing. Red has been my all time favorite album for 8 years now. it holds such an important place in my life and i never thought anything she did could come close (though Lover almost did). but this. THIS IS BETTER THAN RED

the lyrical genius is unmatched here. taylor isn’t just writing songs here, this is POETRY. every song is nuanced, intricate, devastatingly beautiful, with words that’ll haunt me for a long time. and the fact that it’s stories, literal folklore, no longer just about her own life is incredibly creative and is executed so well for someone who has interwoven her life into her entire body of music thus far. folklore blends facts with fiction so seamlessly and is a true exhibition of taylor’s power as a songwriter.

and the vibessss!! from haunting heartbreak songs, to ethereal lost-in-the-woods vibes, to a comforting return to her old self, this album has everything. taylor is without a doubt one of the most versatile artists of our generation, having success and skill in multiple genres and folklore only solidifies this fact.

ALL RIGHT KIDS LETS JUMP IN

the 1: hell yeah explicit tswift give it to me lol you ARE on some new shit!! ok when i first listened to this i hadn’t read her statement about the other perspectives and i was about to RIOT about her and joe breaking up (like they could ever lol). this is such a catchy beat, such a casual?? look at such a painful feeling? a really good start to this album. the part where she goes another day waking up aLONE killlllllls me wow

fave lines: “in my defense i have none/for never leaving well enough alone”

cardigan: (don’t get me started on the mv it’s gorgeous) YES THE TEENAGE LOVE TRIANGLE suchhh a good concept!! the melody of this song is unreal, the chorus makes me want to scream it’s so beautiful, the i-i-i is SOMETHING ELSE. it’s crazy how just the melody makes betty’s pain so palpable, but so enchanting at the same time. it’s bittersweet and cinematic and i’m in love. PETER LOSING WENDY GOD. easily top 5 song here

fave lines: “when you are young they assume you know nothing”, “cause i knew you/ heartbeat on the high line/ once in 20 lifetimes i” “you drew stars around my scars/but now i’m bleeding”

the last great american dynasty: watch hill!!! her watch hill house!! i live near there!! oh i think this song is so clever and i love how it ties into mad woman as well as harkens back to starlight. i LOVE the way she ties her self in, “and then it was bought by me” like ughhh her mind? and its catchy AF

fave lines: “i had a marvelous time ruining everything”

exile: YOU KNOW HOW TO DO AN INDIE ALBUM??? BRING BON IVER INTO THIS SHIT!! wowww this song is haunting and is definitely the “i’m you but stronger” version of The Last Time. the overlap of both of them singing and their parallel lines are flawless. i could play this on repeat for hours and contemplate my whole existence

fave lines: “you never gave a warning sign/i gave so many signs”

my tears ricochet: ok somehow a track 5 with tears in the title is not the saddest song here but DAMN is it good. I love the visual of someone watching over their funeral and reacting. the music is stunningggg here. ALSO i am pretty convinced this is about the whole scott/scooter drama, like the lyrics fit so well? and she said it was the first song she wrote so the timeline kinda fits?? geniusss

fave lines: “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace”, “and if i’m dead to you/why are you at the wake?”

mirrorball: ohhhh this one is so pretty!! it just makes me want to dance around the kitchen with the person i love??? its comforting, ethereal, happyyy ugh i love it. I also think it could be about her relationship with her fans? like her music shows us different sides of ourselves idk? or just absorbing into a relationship?

fave lines: “on my tallest tiptoes/shining just for you”

seven: i’m gonna call this now: this is going to be the most underrated song on this album. it is STUNNING. POETIC. HEARTBREAKING. the music is so hauntingly nostalgic. and the lyrics, holy absolute shit. they’re a delicate testament to childhood, memory, and innocent love. it’s gut wrenching and i love it so so much

fave lines: “i’ve been meaning to tell you/i think your house is haunted/your dad is always mad/and that must be why”, “and just like folk song/our love will be passed on”, “before i learned civility/ i used to scream ferociously” ALL OF IT

august: and now we get the girl james cheated with’s perspective, which i think is great. its sunny, wistful and sad underneath all that beautiful production. when she slides from the chorus to the “back when we we’re changing for the better” and hits that “mineeee to lose” GOD, it just fills your chest. i feel like even if you never have, this makes anyone feel like they know exactly what a summer fling feels like. one of my faves

fave lines: “august slipped away/like a bottle of wine”, “cancel my plans just in case you call/ and say meet me behind the mall”

this is me trying: the slow pacing of this melody serves to show these EXQUISITE lyrics here. this is so intimate and personal and i feel like everyone can relate to this feeling of just trying to hold on and put on a brave face?

fave lines: “they told me all of my cages were mental/ so i got wasted like all my potential”

illicit affairs: ok all you need to know about this one is a) I’m obsessed b) this is the closest she has come to creating a bridge that makes me feel like the All Too Well bridge has, like scream sobbing in the car type vibe??? its unreal. and this song makes me feel that shitty feeling of: “this was supposed to be casual but oops its very much not” hmmm maybe that’s where the scream sobbing comes from hahah

fave lines: “don’t call me kid/don’t call me baby/look at this godforsaken mess that you made me/you showed me colors you know i can’t see with anyone else”

invisible string: this. THIS is probably her most stunning love song. like. i thought it was Lover. i was wrong. this one is confidently from Taylor’s perspective, about Joe and dear lord i want a love like theirs. and shit does this song put the folk in folklore, the music is so simple and gorgeous and harkens back to her country roots without losing this new sound she has. and the first few notes remind me of Mystery of Love by Sufjan Stevens so instantly im sold. this and betty are tied for my number 1, it’s just too beautiful

fave lines: “time curious time/give me no compasses/give me no signs” “isn’t it just so pretty to think/all along there was some invisible string/tying you to me”, “cold was steel of the axe that i had to grind/for the boys who broke my heart/now i buy their babies presents”, “hell was the journey/but it brought me heaven”

mad woman: FUCK YOU FOREVERRRRRR!!! yes taylor said fuckkkk ugh i LOVE this vibe, the revenge of the mad woman that the town cast out is so eerie and powerful, i’m obsessed. it ties back into the maddest woman of TLGAD and it feels like a spiritual sequel to The Man, the same feminist thread weaving through it. the lyrics are razor sharp and biting, i love it

fave lines: “and you poke that bear/till the claws come out/ and you find something/ to wrap your noose around”, “it’s obvious wanting me dead has really brought you two together”

epiphany: so uhhh THIS is the saddest song on folklore. fight me. the seamless comparison between wartime and the pandemic and waiting for some epiphany that could make sense of all the horrors surrounding the both. idk man, as someone who’s been a covid nurse since March, i just….this one HURTS. similar to Soon You’ll Get Better tbh

fave lines: “hold your hand through plastic now/doc i think she’s crashing out/and somethings you just can’t speak about”

betty: OH I LOVE IT WITH MY WHOLE HEART! this is such a TRIUMPHANT return to old taylor, it is so joyful but sad at the same time?? the harmonica?? the last part of the love triangle?? it sounds like Taylor Swift and Fearless all grown up and it makes me ache for back then, but love where we are right now. tbh the first time i heard this i sobbed through the whole thing just out of pure nostalgia. she’s back but at the same time she never left. this feels like a love song to original fans and it. is. incredible. my favoriteeee goddd

fave lines: THE WHOLE CHORUS BABYYYYY

peace: it’s gorgeous, especially the guitarrr ugh. this feels like delicate’s quiet older sister. i think it’s definitely about joe and how taylor, despite loving him, still has these insecurities and fears about what a relationship with someone in her position could be like? like there will be struggles, but he’s her family and she “would die for you in secret”. stunning

fave lines: “i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm”, “the devils in the detail/but you’ve got a friend in me”, “give you my wild/give you a child”

hoax: i’m surprised she ended it on a sad one (but we still have the lakes!!) but this song is hauntingly beautiful WOW. every line of this absolutely floors me. i think this one will also be largely underrated, but it is pure poetry and deserves so so much hype

fave lines: “stood on the cliffside/screaming give me a reason/your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in”, “it still hurts underneath my scars/from when they pulled me apart/but what you did was just as dark” “my kingdom come undone/ my broken drum/ you have beaten my heart”

ANYWHO TAYLOR HAS PRODUCED HER BEST WORK TO DATE AND IM READY FOR SAD GIRL AUTUMN

[dearlazerbunny]

Lie to Me (Ch. 10 of ?)

Pairings: Loki x Reader

Genre/Ratings: M eventually (aiming for a slow burn here); warnings for kidnapping and subsequent anxiety/PTSD (will be marked before every chapter)

Words: 2800

Summary: If you had to guess what the captured, traitor, trickster god Loki Laufeyson wanted or needed at this moment, a babysitter would be far, far down on the list. (Set after the events of Avengers 1.)

SHOUTOUT TO @molmcb and @jessiejunebug for their constant loveliness

Requested Tags: @deraniel @iamverity @yasnooshka24@wegingerangelica@themusingsofmany @dark-night-sky-99 @tarynkauai@stuffandstuff-stuffand the total sweetie @angelicshinigami @my-current-fandom-is @geekysimmerthings

WARNING: I have an extremely basic white girl taste in music. Rather than actual classics, I decided to stick with what I know, because I personally think it’s funnier to imagine Loki reacting to Kesha than the Beatles. Please do not scream at me for my horrible taste in music. I know it’s mainstream. But also you can pry my all consuming love for TSwift out of my cold, dead hands, okay thank you for coming to my TEDTalk

Something you’ve come to like about Loki is that he can appreciate silence.

Everyone seems to think that two people sitting quietly has to be awkward; something to avoid- but really, there’s nothing better than being in a room with someone, each doing their own thing, but enjoying the other person’s presence nonetheless. It’s a kind of comfortable that only comes with a severe amount of trust in the soul sitting across from you. Trust that you aren’t simply something to entertain them, or a mouth to keep them occupied- they like you even if all they’re doing is watching your eyebrows quirk as you read a particularly fascinating novel.

Sure, most of your visits are still full of back-and-forth bickering that could rival a fifties sitcom- you never seem to run out of things to talk about- but some days, when he can tell you’ve had a row you’d really rather not discuss, or you know he’s simply not in the headspace to chat, the two of you will simply sit and be. You’ll page through a book or scribble down some thoughts on your notepad while he laces and unlaced his long fingers into intricate patterns, content to sift through his thoughts.

Though you do mark down a note to talk to someone about getting him a few books. He’s got to be bored in there.

To your surprise, these quiet days quickly become your favorites because as much as you love his twisted sense of sarcasm, you like his singing voice more.

Sometimes, Loki will hum.

It’s always very quiet, under his breath, and most of the time you think he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. But every so often you’ll pause from whatever you’re doing to listen to the faint melodies coming from his cell. It’s never anything you’ve heard before, and the music is hopeful and happy and tragic and uplifting all at once, the kind of thing that makes you want to smile and cry at the same time. They must be from Asgard, because you doubt any music from Earth could ever sound like this.

You never mention it, though. You’re afraid if you call attention to it, he’ll stop, and the songs seem to give him a small bit of joy in his lonely bubble of isolation. You’d never want to take that away from him.

Today, rather than reading, you’ve got your arms curled up underneath your head and are fighting (and mostly failing) to keep your eyes open. You got caught up on a project last night and didn’t even realize what time it was until he sun was peeking through your curtains, leaving you to chug several cups of coffee and hope for the best.

But Loki is humming and the music is making you drowsy and warm which is not a great combination for wanting to stay awake. For his part, he doesn’t tease you about very obviously falling asleep on your desk, which you appreciate- you’re pretty sure any comebacks thought up right now would be incredibly lame

“ ‘S pretty,” you mumble, trying to blink the blurriness out of your eyes. Ugh. You hate all-nighters.

“Pardon?”

“You have a pretty voice.”

He doesn’t respond for a minute- though that might have been because you fell asleep for a second- but eventually he just chuckles briefly. “Thank you, I suppose. It does tend to be part of my appeal.”

“Your singing voice, stupid. It’s pretty.” A yawn nearly splits your face in half, and you blink at him blearily.

“When have you ever heard me sing?”

“Well you hum. Same thing. ‘S nice. Never heard it before.”

“I see.” He lapses into silence, and you frown.

“Well don’t stop.”

“I- I am not sure I even know what I was humming.”

You grumble, frustrated. “It was like-” you lilt into a vague approximation of one of his songs, the one that makes you think of a sunflower field on a misty day. “Like that. Kind of.”

Now he properly laughs. “I apologize, I don’t believe I can recreate… whatever it is you just pulled out of your sleep-addled brain.”

“Never said I was a singer.” Another yawn. “Sing something else then.”

“The Witling is quite pushy when exhausted,” he says amused. “Noted.”

“Shu’ up.” With a huff, your head is back in the crook of your elbow. “Why do I even like you.”

“For lullabies, apparently.”

You don’t quite catch that bit, as the drowsiness has finally caught up with you- your eyes close, you curl yourself into a more comfortable position. Loki stares at you, somewhat amazed that you feel comfortable enough to be so vulnerable with him in the room. You look peaceful, content- something warm sparks in him. “It was something my mother sang me, when I was young,” he admits, when he knows for sure you can’t hear. “I seem to recall it chased away nightmares quite effectively.”

But he does start up his lullaby again. It pulls on the homesickness in his chest, but it also makes you smile softly in your sleep.

You dream of sunflowers.

                                                          XXX

“Okay, since I basically forced you to culture me on Asgardian music-”

“I believe you underestimate your incredibly rude demands.”

“I- I was half asleep! I wasn’t trying to on purpose-” you stop when Loki grins, making it obvious that he’s only teasing you. You huff. “Whatever. You suck. Don’t interrupt. Since I basically forced you to culture me on Asgardian music-” you pull out your phone and plunk it on the table. “I’m going to culture you in some Midgardian music.”

“I… see…”

“Don’t look so terrified, I’m not going to subject you to screamo headbangers or anything.” Loki gives you a look, the one that says what on Midgard are you talking about, you strange mortal. “I’m going to start you off with the classics.”

“Be still my beating heart.”

“I know, you should be grateful. My taste in music is the epitome of class and excellence.”

“…of course.”

You pull your phone out of your pocket and flick through your playlists, wondering what to dive into first. “Are you feeling something upbeat or angsty?”

Loki snorts, which is hilariously undignified for him. “I defer to your judgement.”

“A wise choice.” After a few flicks of the screen, you turn your volume up to full blast and sit back to listen.

“I got too many people… got left to prove wrong…”

Serene acoustic guitar washes through the room, and you drum your fingers on your thigh in time to Kesha’s voice. “Don’t let the bastards get you down…”

Loki raises an eyebrow. “Is this your way of attempting to be inspirational?”

You grin at him. “I thought it’d be uplifting.” “Been underestimated… my entire life…”

Once that song is over, you scroll a bit and click to a more techno, pop-y sounding beat. “I knew you were trouble when you walked in…” Again, he stares at you from behind the glass. “What? It’s a great song! One of her best!”

He wrinkles his nose. “Beyond the obvious message…. I do not believe I’m a fan.”

“Hm. Your loss. Honestly I’m disappointed I didn’t name you Trouble instead of Trickster, this would be a perfect theme song for you.” At his death glare, you hold your hands up, giggling. “Okay, okay! Next one…”

You roll through a couple of P!nk’s newer works, guessing he might appreciate the poetic lyrics, and then just because you want to you throw in a couple K-Pop groups, and then asked him for translations on the songs you’ve never bothered to google. “And this is currently the quintessential Midgardian music experience.” The first few strains of the goddamn song nobody can get out of their heads, Let it Go, begins to play. “It’s from a musical called Frozen, based on the old fairytale The Snow Queen.” You wiggle your eyebrows at him suggestively. “Magical ice powers, frozen hearts. The whole shebang.”

His eye rolls are really something spectacular. “Fascinating.”

“I just thought you’d appreciate the theme!”

He tilts his head. “Am I missing a joke, Witling?”

You grin at him. “You know, being a frost giant and all. I thought you could really, I dunno, empathize?”

Loki- well, Loki does something, something you can’t quite describe other than a  complete and systematic mass shutdown. It’s like his very soul suddenly ascends and leaves behind a body that can do nothing but breathe and blink. His eyes go opaque, and even the casual tapping and twitching of his fingers stutters and then stills. He practically disappears in front of your very eyes, as invisible as a person can be behind a pane of glass. Something in your stomach immediately turns. “Um, Loki? You okay?”

“How did you know that.” His voice is toneless, and quieter than you’ve ever heard it, even in those beginning days where he did nothing but huff and sigh at your existence.

You’re confused, but more than that, you’re frantically wondering what you did to cause such anguish to appear on his face. “How did I know…? I don’t know what you mean.”

“That I- I’m not-” he takes a breath, and it shudders out of him so achingly slowly something about it breaks your heart. “A frost giant.”

“How did I know that…you’re a frost giant…? I mean, like everything else we knew about you, from old poems and stories…” there’s a flare of anger in his eyes that scares you. “Is that- is that not good?”

“You say you knew this from the old stories?” His voice is still quiet, but now there’s something simmering beneath it.

“Yeah. The Poetic Edda and all that. I think they’re described as a race in Beowulf which is like, freshman English 101.” Silence. Heavy, stifling, suffocating silence. Your chest heaves from the pressure of it. “Loki? You’re scaring me here.”

The life crashes back into him all at once, and he’s suddenly as hot and dangerous as a flare lit to explode. “You knew this?” He roars, up on his feet and practically vibrating with intensity. His glare pins you to your seat. “You knew- the pathetic Midgardians, of all the races in the galaxy, knew my own secrets before even I?” He laughs violently, his entire body shaking with the force of it. “Of course they did! Because what luck would the universe afford me other than heinous? Other than disgusting-” his cot gets thrown from its position in the corner to the other side of his cell- “rotted-” his hands clench; knuckles white- “fate!” He stands amid the small chaos he’s created, heaving, eyes wild and looking for something to destroy.

You’ve curled yourself up a small as possible, watching the scene unfold with your heart in your throat. “Loki?” You whisper, not noticing a small tear drip onto your cheek. “I’m- I’m sorry. I don’t know what I said but I’m so sorry-”

When he whirls on you, notices your wide eyes, a little of his rage dissipates. “No, Witling, it is not-” he groans, clearly frustrated, and runs his fingers through his hair to direct his anger somewhere other than you. “You did nothing, other than confirm that the world is infinitely cruel.” His laugh is darker this time, more bitter. “That is a not a new lesson to me, have no fear.”

“I- I don’t understand.”

“I do not see how you would.” He looks away, but you get the idea that he’s tying to avoid his own reflection rather than you. His hands clench and unclench.  “I am not sure how your poets came upon such knowledge, but it becomes more and more clear that their sources outrank even my own.”

Realization smack you so suddenly there’s a physical sting on your cheek. “You… you didn’t know. You didn’t know?” How is that even possible?

He grimaces. “Not until a scant year ago.”

You stare at him. “You didn’t know that you were a frost giant until a year ago.” He opens his mouth to say something scathing about your parroting habit, but you cut him off. “Sorry, I’m sorry, I just- how? Why?”

“Why does Odin do anything?” He snarls. “To manipulate. To lie. To raise torment.”

His tone is cutting, but his eyes are lost. Despite the anger radiating off of him in waves, he stands in his white cell alone, adrift, with nothing to anchor him. Ever so slowly, you push back your chair and stand- he eyes you like a caged animal, which is all too accurate to his situation- and walk to him, gauging his reaction as you go. He only watches, so you eventually get close enough to reach out and touch the glass in front of you. You can’t offer anything but that. “Tell me?”

Loki’s sigh caries millennia of unspoken stories. “I would not tell a tale you already know.”

You shake your head a little. “I think I’m realizing we never knew the first thing about you.”

He looks at you for a moment, apparently weighing your words. “It is quite simple. On a mission to slaughter the Jotunn, my father came across an abandoned child in the middle of the battlefield. He concealed its nature and brought it to Asgard to raise in hopes of one day using it as a bargaining chip for peace.”

It. He speaks of himself like a thing, not a person. “Why did he never tell you?”

“Because it would have risked disloyalty, and crippled his plans.” His eyes darken. “If I had realized sooner that I could never take the throne, never truly be a prince of Asgard…” he doesn’t finish his sentence, but you can guess the sentiment.

“He used you.” The simple fact hangs naked in the air, a revelation for you but old news to the god in the cell.

“From the day he spotted me. I was never more than a pawn to him.”

“But didn’t you look different?” You blurt out, trying to wrap your head around the inconsequential details in order to ignore the more painful implications. “I mean- I don’t know what frost giants- Jotunn- look like, really, but…”

He does smile a little at that. “Magic mimics, and illusions are quite easy to conjure. I imagine my subconscious did the work for me.”

“Oh.” You glance at the cuffs on his wrists. “Do they not do anything then?”

“I assure you they work properly,” he sighs. “I would assume Midgardian technology is not capable of suppressing every ounce of magic I possess.”

Your finger traces an outline of his manacles on the glass, leaving smudges. “I’m so sorry.”

Loki looks at you. “It’s ancient history, Witling.”

“How can you say that? Of course it’s not!”

“I realized my father’s love was conditional very quickly, even if I did not know why. I have had a century to deal with the fallout.”

“That- doesn’t make me feel better.” You cross your arms, desperately searching for solid footing. “So you were alone?”

“No.” His voice softens. “My mother- she loved me as a mother should. I do not think I would have survived without her.”

The both of you stand quietly for a minute as your world resettles on its axis. Loki eventually rights his cot and sits down on it, waiting for you to speak first.

“I bet you’re beautiful.” He looks at you, confused. “I mean your other form- self? Carvings aren’t very detailed, most people said the Jotunn were fiercely stunning.”

“Jotunn are monsters, Witling. The things you tell your children of at night. There is nothing beautiful about me.”

“You aren’t a monster.”

“The stories would say otherwise.”

“Well then maybe the stories are wrong,” you say harshly. His eyes meet yours, vulnerable. “Because I know monsters, Loki, I have plenty of my own. You do not share their face, believe me.” He doesn’t seem to know what to make of that- he seems caught between denial and disbelief. “Tell me about your mother.”

So he does. He tells you of her never ending patience when his burgeoning magic was more hinderance than help, and how her healing hands could stitch together even the most dire of wounds. How she could rein in Odin’s temper and even change his mind in the dead of night. How she would know exactly where he would hide when he was upset, and leave a mark or sign so he would know he wasn’t alone.

With every story, his sadness seems to chip away, and his anger fades. Your heart is still crying, but you’ve at least pulled yourself together enough for the tears to dry up, and smile and encourage Loki to keep going whenever he hesitates.

Throughout it all, you murmur small thank-you’s to Frigga in the back of your mind, for carrying him through when you couldn’t.

A/N: Get it? Because they dated for like three weeks and everyone thought it was strange?

Guys. I have two chapters left. TWO. And they’re not hard chapters. So why have I been staring at them for a week not able to write either of them??? BLERGH. 

[handstied-swiftie13]

Would It be enough if I could never give you peace? . . . Photocredit: @augustswiftt . . . . #taylorswift #missamericana #tswift #swifties #selfie #cruelsummer #cardigan #FolkloreEra #taylorswift13 #TS8 #cardiganmusicvideo #albumrelease #reputationstadiumtour #loverera #taylorswiftmerch #folklore #reptourtampa #reptour #taylurk #theman #reputationstadiumtour #cityofloverconcert #taylornation #taylurking #loverfestwest #swiftie #reputation #taylurking #lover #1989worldtour #cityoflover @taylorswift @taylornation https://www.instagram.com/p/CEFExr6nZrp/?igshid=1rjvjwmorsqjg

[buckner-in-australia]

Day 13: June 8, 2017

So guys... Today is the day! I am snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef!

Now let me run y’all back through my day because this right chea, yea not “here” but “chea”, was an experience of a lifetime.

This morning, of course, started super early. We woke up at 6:45 to be at the coach at 7:55 to depart to the marina. Looking at the schedule, I was thinking, “There is absolutely no way that we’re gonna be out here from 9-4:30. Absolutely no way.” But little did I know, time is merely a word when indulging yourself in the wonders of our seas.

As we parted for the marina, all I could think was “I can’t believe that I am about to do this, I can’t believe that I am about to do this.” It wasn’t from a place of fear, it was from a place of excitement, curiosity, and wonder. You always here of how immaculate the GBR is, but how many people truly get to experience it outside of Finding Nemo? Before even reaching the reef, I was struck by the beauty of the marina. Calm, peaceful and relaxing. Full of shops and several restaurants, the marina seems like a nice place to spend the day before a day out on the sea.

Everything felt so surreal. From arriving to the marina, checking in, and walking onto our boat “Bubbles”. It was like it was all a dream.  Once we got onto the boat we had to give them our shoes. Of course I was perplexed because why would someone want my old black flip flops? But later I realized it was to keep the boat floor from getting all gunky with sand and soil. After taking off my shoes, it was then time to receive my flippers. They said to get a size smaller, so being an 8.5, I thought that an 7-8 would be great, but the guy handed me a 4-5. Once again, Nia is confused because never in my life have my feet been that small. I tried one on and then asked for my real size, and guess what? The 4-5s were perfect and the 7-8 were huge. I know that they say to go a size smaller but if I would’ve never guessed that small.  Once my fins were fitted, I received a mask and a snorkel. Proceeding into the boat, I was shocked once again. It was nice! There were booths and tables. Up a few stairs was a deck and then there was a deck higher up with more seats. Before you know it we were heading toward the reef.  

Now, Mr. Rumney said that it was be rough getting there and boy was he right!! I’m surprised that nobody went overboard! The boat was rocking and swaying, waves crashing, spraying seawater everywhere! Y’all know I’m not the brave type when it comes to water so I happily sat myself down with my Turkish towel behind the glass to avoid getting wet. It took us about 90 minutes to reach the reefs. And on this excursion, we were visiting 3 reefs each for a hour.

Out of the 3 reefs, I really can’t pinpoint which one was my favorite because they were all beautiful. Little did I know, that from a bird’s eye view, when you see the water coloration, its not that the water is deeper, its the coral that is changing the water. The lighter patches are where there is less coral and the white sand is shown and the darker is where the coral is and super duper shallow.

Now, when I say God knew exactly what he was doing when He created the reefs!!! Just beautiful! I don’t even have enough fancy words in my vocabulary to explain!! Who would’ve ever thought that this magical little world could be existing right below the surface? Many times I had to surface the water because from the top it was like it wasn’t even there but as soon as you put your face in the water, you entered an entire different realm.

After the second spot we had lunch on the boat and all I could do was think about how crazy it was that someone can literally be smack dad in the middle of the ocean and feel so small. And then imagining how to must’ve felt for my ancestors who were in boats for months and the immigrants on boats for months not knowing where they were or if they would ever be able to grace land again. So many thoughts from such a little person (yes, I’m referring to myself lol.)

My biggest worry was the waves and the water.  They said that the waves would be difficult today, but they weren’t bad at all, especially at the last location. Maybe because I have a big imagination, I was envisioning waves 2 feet tall crashing into us relentlessly but that wasn’t the case at all. I also feared drowning which also didn't happen. At one point in time, I didn’t even have my noodle and was perfectly fine. I just kept one on me for safety precautions because you never know.

Today was absolutely the best day ever! Everything felt so natural and I felt so free. I am definitely my mother’s child because she loves the water, and today I fell in love with it that much more. Who would’ve thought that I would be swimming 200 m from a boat in the GBR??! I am so grateful that I was able to partake in this life changing experience! (:

After snorkeling, that night we walked around downtown to find dinner.  Port Douglas is such a cute area and would definitely be a perfect backdrop for a Nicholas Sparks novel.  While waiting to place our order at the counter, Ashley accidentally read the word “Quay” wrong and we were corrected by several very attractive Australians. (It is pronounced as ‘key’). After eating dinner, we linked up with some other people in our group and had a few drinks.  We ended up finding a karaoke bar and we were super excited! We had been wanting to karaoke since Melbourne so this was our time to shine. Kayla and I chose to sing Beyonce’s Irreplaceable and we killed it! Morgan and the Morgettes (Delilah and Ashley) performed You Belong with Me by Tswift. We showed out! 

All in all, today was awesome! And tomorrow we leave for Cairns!

Things I have learned

I am a much better swimmer than I think

You still feel like you’re on the sea hours after you are on land

I really love the Port Douglas area, it is beautiful

snorkeling is amazing

I’m definitely going snorkeling again, no matter where I am (tropical of course)

Good friends ensure your well-being in all things, and they will allow you to take your time if you're not comfortable

Turkish towels, pullovers, sunglasses, and baseball caps are necessary boating attire

I am having the time of my life!

[thishintoflove]

“Wildest Dreams” - A Prospect (2018) Fanfic

TSwift Songfic Week Day 2

Pairing: Ezra x F!Reader

Warnings: 18 + Explicit (Language, Sex Pollen, P/V sex, Unprotected sex, Outdoor sex), 2.2k words of smutty forest sex

A/N: Did I really just want an excuse to write a sex pollen fic? Yes, I did. Also Ezra strikes me as a guy who’d be into outdoor sex even without an extra aphrodisiac.

You’ve always loved the forest. When you’re out among the trees, watching the light spread across the forest floor in patterns of green and gold, there really isn’t anywhere else you’d rather be. This planet is filled with oxygen so there’s no need for a helmet, which means you can enjoy this peaceful wood with all five of your senses. You close your eyes every now and then, drifting along on the smells of the warm air and the sounds of native birds calling to each other between the leaves.

“Hey! Come on, Birdie, I hired you to be my guide, not daydream and get us lost.”

Ezra’s deep drawl cuts through the forest and interrupts your peace. The man has paused his endless pursuit long enough to stare back at you with an annoyed look.

“We’re on track, Ezra, just keep heading southwest. I’m right behind you.”

You’re a field researcher who was recently let go by your university, so you’re currently traveling between worlds as an independent contractor trying to make some money. That’s how you found yourself wandering through the vast woods of this backwater planet with a gruff gem prospector. It was your job to analyze the topographical maps, plot the route, and keep Ezra away from the dangers of the natural world as he searched for some kind of valuable gem. At first you were worried about being alone with a strange man for a weeks-long mission, but Ezra seemed respectful and fully dedicated to his job. He was handsome, you couldn't help but notice, but this was a job and you refused to let that be a factor. So you'd agreed to go with him on this trip, taking a 50% upfront commission, and now you're dragging your boots through the wet grass trying to keep up with him.

I thought heaven can't help me now

Nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down

He's so tall and handsome as hell

He's so bad but he does it so well

Ezra is currently stalking along ahead of you, head bowed, eyes scanning the forest floor for any sign of gem pods. Every now and then he turns around to glance at you, to either ask you a question about the flora and fauna or just to check and make sure you’re still there. You could tell he was getting frustrated that it’s been three days of hunting and yet still no gems in sight. You were following along quietly, trying not to disturb Ezra’s hunt. You glance up from time to time to make sure you can still see Ezra’s dark head poking out from behind trees and under bushes, but generally you keep yourself entertained by studying the clumps of flowers and plants on the ground.

Suddenly a rustling sound in a nearby bush grabs your attention. You catch sight of something small and fluffy huddled behind a tuft of grass. You freeze and squint down at the tiny stir of whiskers and wiggle of white-- it was a lop-eared lapine! An adorable furry creature that was often sold in pet shops, but this one was huddling right in front of you in the wild, seemingly unafraid. The small creature lifts its head and turns two very large, very innocent eyes on you. You smile despite yourself, and crouch down as it hops silently towards you. Its fuzzy paws make next to no impression on the grass as it moves.

It hops until it stops right in front of you. You reach a hand out and upon closer inspection, you realize there’s a spiky burr stuck in its fur.

“Aw, let’s see if I can get that pointy thing off you, little buddy,” you mumble, reaching out and running your fingers through its soft coat. You gently grasp the pointy burr and give it a small tug, but to your surprise the bud isn’t nearly as hard as it looks. As soon as you squeeze it, the bud bursts open and releases a surprising amount of yellow pollen into the air. It floats up, getting caught in your nose and making you sneeze.

The sound makes the lapine squeak and scuttle away into the tall grass. As it disappears, you feel your head begin to spin. Your eyes stop focusing for a moment and there’s a hot surge in the pit of your stomach. Your heart clenches when you realize what’s just happened. The burr must have been a native reproductive pod-- one with powerful side effects for humans that was usually sought out for use in performance enhancement medication. And now you’re completely doused in it.

The pollen is still drifting through the air in a cloud, and you try to get to your feet but your legs are too wobbly. Suddenly, a large hand is gripping your forearm and hauling you up.

“Are you alright, my lovely bird?”

Ezra is giving you a concerned look, unused to seeing you so affected like this. You try to warn him about the pollen but your tongue feels thick and useless. Soon Ezra is sneezing too and you know he’s ingested some of it as well.

“I didn’t mean to… didn’t expect…” you try to form complete sentences but there’s a heat rushing through your veins and blush spreading across your entire body. Ezra is still holding your arm and you reach around him to pull his body closer. Heat pours off both your bodies but you still crave the contact. A low groan slips from Ezra’s lips and the sound goes straight to the now aching spot between your legs.

“Is it… some type of aphrodisiac?” Ezra asks between clenched teeth. He’s holding you flush to his body but he seems frozen. “I do not want to hurt you, Birdie. But I’m afraid I am losing all control of my senses here.”

“Yeah it is,” you gasp, feeling a little better now that you had him so close, “It’s okay to...you know. I want you to. I need you to.”

As if to prove your point, you thrust your hips against his. You can already feel the hardness in the pants of his flight suit, and your mouth literally waters at the thought of it inside you.

“Are you absolutely positive? I may still be able to get away from here. Away from you. If I go now-”

“Don’t you dare.”

At your confirmation, Ezra growls and pushes you forward until your back hits a tree. He presses his mouth against your collarbone and sucks, all coherent thought rapidly vacating your brain at his actions.

I said, "No one has to know what we do"

His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room

And his voice is a familiar sound

Nothing lasts forever but this is getting good now

You feel dazed, pressed against the tree with your hands pinned on either side by Ezra’s long, strong fingers. You bury your nose in his dark hair as he nibbles your pulse point, inhaling additional pollen, not that you care. He pushes his hips upwards into you, too desperate for friction to question how he’s become so hard so quickly. You rut against him, egging him on and enjoying the amazing sensation of the tight fabric against your clit.

Ezra breaks away from your neck with a gasp and mouths his way along your jaw until your lips finally meet. It’s your first kiss together but neither of you really care at the moment-- the kiss is sloppy in an eager, desperate way brought on by the pollen. You both open your mouths and you tremble with pleasure at the warm slide of Ezra’s tongue against your own. You moan softly into his mouth as you feel his hardness press more insistently against your thigh through the material of his pants.

Then he’s ripping at the zipper and velcro on your flight suit, pulling the top down enough to expose your chest. He keeps his mouth on yours as his hand starts to explore you. He palms your breast, teasing the nipple to a taut peak, and your trembling increases as you struggle to control the heat burning inside you.

"Ezra, please. I need you now. I need to feel you inside me," you beg.

“Relax, my lovely bird. I want to explore you first,” Ezra growls, feeling himself grow even harder as your nipples rise beneath his fingers.

You swallow, unsure if you’re able to comply. He was like a drug to you now, one you never knew you needed. It’s driving you crazy and you know your craving won’t be fulfilled until he’s fully in you. But you take a deep breath and try to relax into his ministrations.

Feeling your body relax, Ezra slowly begins an assault on your senses. He ducks his head and takes one breast into his mouth, running his tongue over the nipple. He sucks gently before biting down, and the jolt of pain-pleasure makes you arch against him and tug at the hair on the back of his head. As he continues to lavish attention on your breasts with his mouth, his hands slip down to slowly work your pants open. You’re almost too distracted to notice until suddenly you feel a thick finger enter you. Your pulse skips a beat as you tremble under his touch, craving more. He continues to pump in and out of you with one hand while his prosthetic arm reaches down to undo the fly of his own pants.

You cry out again as his finger hooks inside you, hitting that special spot that makes your toes curl.

"Ezra, please. I can't take it! I’m going to lose my mind! Please!"

"Fine, have it your way, Birdie," he replies.

In one fast movement he removes his fingers and replaces them with his cock. He slams hard into you, and winds his arms around your back to pull you as close as possible. You cry out at the sensation of finally being filled. You curl into him, your face in his shoulder as he buries himself inside you. He withdraws slowly and sinks back in while he muffles his groans of pleasure into your neck. He strokes in and out of you with a deep, steady pace.

You'll see me in hindsight

Tangled up with you all night

Burnin' it down

“You feel amazing, everything I need,” you babble as the burning sensation inside you begins to settle and shift into pure pleasure.

Ezra groans and pushes against your neck with his nose, “You look so splendid on my cock. Never imagined you would be so wet, so tight. I want to stay in your warm heat forever.”

A rough laugh escaped you at his words-- somehow still trying to be eloquent even with the pollen messing with his brain and tongue. You twist your head to meet his mouth in a passionate kiss. Ezra moans against your mouth as he rapidly chases his own orgasm, hips pounding into yours. Everything feels like too much and not enough at the same time. You’re no longer burning but you’re rapidly falling into a pit of pleasure that you’re not sure you’ll be able to climb out of.

Ezra feels so strong and rough against you. You break the kiss to grin wickedly at him, and lower your head to suck softly on the sensitive skin of his neck. As he speeds up his movements, you bite lightly and squeeze your inner muscles a little more aggressively in time with his thrusts. His balls tighten in response to the feel of your teeth on his neck, your nails in his back, the tightening of your wetness around him.

Ezra reaches down to press your clit with his thumb, and that’s all it takes to make you come undone. You gasp and shudder against him as he thrusts erratically a few more times before following you over the edge. He throbs and gushes deep within you as your walls tremble and tug at his cock. Your orgasms seem to be unending as wave after wave crashes over you both.

Someday when you leave me

I bet these memories

Follow you around

Finally, you come down enough to drop your leg from where it was wrapped around Ezra’s hip. Your head falls back against the tree and you close your eyes as you try to steady your breathing.

“Birdie? Can you look at me?”

Your eyes flutter open and you meet his gaze. Ezra’s dark eyes are filled with apprehension and his brow is low as he looks at you with concern.

“I am… uneasy with how our encounter just went. I want you to know that this isn’t what I had in mind when I hired you. I would never-”

“Ezra,” you say, cutting him off before he can bombard you with more unnecessary apologies, “It wasn’t your fault. It was my fault for not being more careful. This doesn’t have to change anything between us.”

Maybe it’s the remnant of pollen still in your system or maybe you just finally know what you’re missing out on, but you hesitantly lift a hand and reach up to brush the hair off his sweaty forehead, taking extra notice of the blonde tuft at the front.

“But... it could change something,” you continue, “If we both want it to.”

Ezra’s look of concern melted into something fonder.

“I believe that’s something worth discussing. I can’t promise you forever, Birdie. My line of work isn’t conducive to commitments. But if you’ll have me for a time, I would very much like to continue exploring this pleasurable path we seem to have stumbled upon.”

You smile up at him, pleased to see a lighter look in his deep brown eyes. “I believe I can agree to that.”

Say you'll see me again

Even if it's just in your (Just pretend, just pretend)

Wildest Dreams