#tw antipsychotics

[cannibalsamruby]

I accidentally took a second pill of my antipsychotic and my thoughts aren't racing, and my head is actually quiet. No anxiety for once, I forgot what that feels like

[genderfluid-red-paladin]

I feel restless as hell, yay for akathisia. Fuck antipsychotics, I wish I didn't need one

[schizopositivity]

So I was searching for a new psychiatrist online, and every website filter, every description they have, for individual providers and medical groups will include a whole bunch of different mental illnesses and life situations that they specialize in. Basically every mental illness and stressful life situation you could think of. But I didn't see schizophrenia or psychosis on any list. They had mental illnesses that can have psychotic symptoms (like bipolar disorder or PTSD) and mental illnesses that have overlapping symptoms with schizophrenia (like ASD and ADHD) but didn't have psychosis or schizophrenia anywhere.

And this is so frustrating, because I'm used to therapists not knowing how to treat schizophrenia/psychosis at all, that's been every therapist I've ever had and I've sadly learned to deal with that. But for psychiatrists, I'd really love to be able to be prescribed high doses of antipsychotics by someone who knows how that affects people. Someone who has enough experience to list that as a specialty. I live in a small city with a long list of psychiatrists, I even checked ones farther away that could do online sessions. Still after hours of combing through websites I found nothing. I was even told by my therapist that normal primary care providers regularly hesitate or refuse to prescribe antipsychotics because it's a "liability".

And it feels so unfair. Seeing psychiatrists say "mental health is so important! I can help you find your best self!" while ignoring all of us who rely on antipsychotics to function. For me my antipsychotics are the biggest reason I'm alive today, that I have a job, that I have a long term relationship, that I have friends, that I can even function. Going off of antipsychotics is not a safe option for me.

The pharmacy requires refill approval from a psychiatrist or Dr. so that I can have access to my meds. And I shouldn't have to keep settling for mental health care workers who don't understand my illness, don't want to prescribe my meds, and don't care to try.

I don't understand how there can be such a major gap in mental health care that's never even talked about. For a lot of us with schizophrenia, antipsychotics are extremely important, and going off of them can have major consequences. The fact that medication can dramatically improve our lives is incredible, but the fact that so many mental health care workers don't understand it, don't want to prescribe it, or just guess when prescribing it is horrendous, and has life-changing consequences for us.

It feels so isolating to not even be on a long list of mental health problems, and to speak to countless people who've dedicated their life to the mental health field, yet don't even consider you as an option. I just got rejected by a group of 6 psychiatrists working in an office together. In a quick email they said they wouldn't be able to provide care for me. Apparently all of them, who are available and licensed to care for people with mental illnesses, don't even think it's possible that any one of them could help me. All I need is medication refill approval, but apparently they can't do that. It feels so defeating but I'm going to keep trying because I have to.

I am not an anomaly, I am one small part of a large group of people with my same diagnosis. And we all need care at the bare minimum, but we deserve care that has us in mind for once. One day, I'd like to think, that a profession centered around helping people with various mental illnesses and struggles, would add us to the list. Because we are here regardless.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

so i told y brother stuff and i might ring a triage line tomorrow idk

honestly just want to try and kill myself and deal with the fallout if i fail but eh

[genderqueerpositivity]

Hard to decide which is scarier: googling the side effects of a new medication or the note on the bag from the pharmacy that says "your insurance saved you $666.89".

[nopointic]

shout out to my antipsychotic that i take!

super happy about the fact i have NOT been feeling suicidal lately since i started taking my antipsychotic abilify again! i realized today how quiet my brain has been and not full of the usual negative thoughts. i don't think oh i'd be better off dead now all the time.

THAT IS FUCKING WONDERFUL!

i know a lot of people are hesitant to take antipsychotics. i think they have a bad reputation. i personally have had night and day results taking it. i have major depression.

i take 5mg of aripiprazole which is the generic of abilify along with my 20mg of fluoxetine which is the generic of prozac.

so for me the antipsychotic boosts my antidepressant since i have major depression. it's made such a huge difference in my life! i was on this combo over a year ago and my doctor and i at the time thought i was doing well enough to be taken off the abilify but afterwards i realized that was such a bad idea. i wish i never stopped taking abilify a year ago. i think my life would be in a different direction now if i had stayed on it.

oh well. you live and learn!

i just wanted to share my good experience on this combo because i know there are so many bad reviews with abilify out here. i looked up some before i started back on it and i was even scared and i had already had a great experience on it! goes to show how reviews sway you!

now the first night i did get mild insomnia with it. but it's gone away. i've been on this combo 10 days right now and i'm already feeling like a weight has been lifted. it's like coming out of a deep fog. living with major depression is like having a big bowling ball of sadness tied to your ankles. it's heavy. it sucks. no way other to describe it. it just fucking sucks. it steals your light and puts you in the dark. sounds cliche and emo but it does.

like i literally went from writing how sad i was in my diary everyday to writing positive things. HUGE shift in my life on these meds.

very thankful i have a new psychiatrist that listens to me and is helping me on my way to stabilizing my mental health once again.

if you have any questions and you think i can help, just tag me! <33

and remember! there is nothing to be ashamed of if you need to take medicines for your mental health. i know we use the insulin and diabetes example all the time, but it's true. you wouldn't tell a diabetic to just eat better and shame them for needing insulin, so don't do it to yourself for antipsychotics either!

[notdelusionalatall]

I skipped my meds (antidepressants and antipsychotics) due to being sick with the flu and wanted to avoid feeling extra tired from them and now I feel like I should, you know, kill myself. :-D

[robinsmentallyill]

hello I came back they took me off the antipsychotics idk if u can tell tho

[camellia-thea]

.

[tangentmusings]

Calling bipolar friends and others who take antipsychotics

So I'm on Zyprexa/Olanzapine, and, as is common, I gained some weight - about 30 pounds. I've worked this year to lose what I can of that, and have actually successfully lost 23 pounds! (It would probably be a little more, but Chocolate Season comes for us all.)

But the strange thing is that it seemed like as I've lost weight, my meds aren't as effective. This last month in particular I have been alllll over the place with my moods. I don't know that I can really call any of them episodes since they usually only last a few days, followed by brief stability, followed by either a crash or a new bout of hypomania. I had a bit of a breakdown talking about this in therapy today, which is the first time I've cried in the whole process.

It's entirely likely this is coincidental to my weight loss. If anything it might be the reverse and that now that my weight has stagnated due to the aforementioned Chocolate Season, it's been hitting me hard. But it just seems odd that they have been steadily working less and less. And yes, I have been very diligent in taking them every time.

tl;dr does anyone know if the weight/zyprexa connection somehow works the other way? What could be causing this increase in symptoms?

[schizosupport]

I'm sorry to the people who have reached out over the last month who hasn't received a response yet. I think I'll reply soon - I hope.

Things have been a lot, to say the least. I'm fighting a lot of bureaucratic systems at the moment, and in true kafkaesque fashion I feel like a bug stuck in a spider's web, the more I struggle, the more I get stuck. But there's some hope in the situation, there always is. But it's taking a lot out of me to deal with.

In the meantime I have been doing an internship. It's not going well, and I recognize that I'm not happy about it, because I was about to explain the situation, and I instantly almost just quit out of making the post.

Yesterday I had an experience with my psychiatrist that felt completely surreal. Close to a year ago I made the decision to try to go off antipsychotic medication, with the support of my psychiatrist, but through my GP. I struggled a lot for a long time, and my GP kept offering to go back on it, but I wanted to give it a fair run.

Yesterday I asked my psychiatrist if maybe she could give me a new prescription, not because the stress is driving me psychotic, but because I can't handle the emotions. I want thicker skin, I want to be a little more dull around the edges so I can handle the curveballs that life keeps throwing at me.

And the psychiatrist looked at me and told me that she sympathises, but from what I said she has zero reason to assume that my reaction is psychotic or out of the norm in that direction, and she isn't going to prescribe me drugs that I don't need just so that I can numb my emotions.

That was a fucking first. It's always psychiatry telling me to take more antipsychotics, jumping on every sign of 'weakness' to convince me to up the dose, holding adhd meds hostage unless I comply, etc.

So being told kindly but sternly by this lady that no, I can't have a cheeky prescription of antipsychotics just because I want to essentially.. abuse it...?... was a weird experience. Like, "oh, how the tables have turned". But it didn't feel.. bad. Not even gatekeepery, I mean, she's correct. That's not what they are for. And ofc she will give me a prescription when/if I definitely need it.

For now I'm trying to find ways to reduce the stress on my life, somehow.

[cannibalsamruby]

I've been on SO many anti-anxiety meds that failed and I'm currently on an antipsychotic that also treats anxiety. Maybe it needs an increase, idk, or my new antidepressant that also treats anxiety might also start helping it.

My antidepressant was recently increased to help with my every worsening anxiety that drives me mad every fucking day. I'm sick of this shit, why can't my meds work?

[genderfluid-red-paladin]

I realized not too long ago that the restlessness I've been feeling more of lately is more of the akathisia from my antipsychotic than my RLS. Good thing I have a doctor's appointment coming up

[schizopositivity]

if your antipsychotics arent working

if the side effects are too much to deal with

if you feel like a zombie:

talk to your perscriber!!!! theyre on your side and can change doses or perscribe something new

dont stop taking them suddenly, this can trigger acute psychosis or give you withdrawls if you have to ween off of them

antipsychotics shouldnt make you feel worse than you did before, changing them up is possible but please do it safely by talking to your perscriber and taking their advice

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

ok but real talk am i more likely to end up in a psych ward if i: a) say i don't think i can keep myself safe from killing myself, or b) say the voice is telling me to kill myself

this is a hypothetical i am merely Musing do not you dare call the cops on me

[kits-ships]

i want to try avoiding my room all day to see if i still go crazy stupid during the evening but also i dont want to feed into the delusion AND i love laying down in my bed and sleepign