#tw complete loss of independence

[jaeyleo]

REQUESTS YOU SAY.

Hmmmm... Maybe another one of those where Chase is like not exactly fully Pink yet but he knows it's sort of useless to fight against Pseudo when he wants to dress him up and everything. Maybe being on that border of actually liking the fact that he doesn't have to think but also HATING that he feels himself liking it :3c

ur brain: LARGE!! i hope i captured this the way you pictured, if not feel free to send it again and i'll make another attempt!

tws: dehumanization, brainwashing, platonic undressing, scars, complete loss of independence, talk of depressive and apathetic feelings, implied past noncon platonic undressing (sorry that's a mouthful), noncon platonic use of a camera

. . .

There are many things Chase doesn't like seeing here in Denmark. Obvious things like knives and tools to burn, chains or the doors to the cellar in the back yard. Things that make him shiver and want to turn away.

Some things aren't as obvious. He never thought seeing something as simple as a camera would make him cringe. Even more so, the color pink. Today he has both combined.

Pseudo has the living room moved around to take pictures. There are props: teddy bears and coloring books, a juice box, a shock collar, a white beret hat. Blankets and other miscellaneous objects placed about, things Chase doesn't care enough to look into. What's the point? If Pseudo wants to use it, he will.

"Are you excited?" Pseudo asks the doll, watching his gaze lazily make its way around the room.

"Ecstatic," Chase replies.

"Come now. Someday you'll mean it."

And though the words may be true, Chase doesn't have the energy to care.

The monster approaches with his outfit of choice. A soft pink cardigan with pretty buttons and light red strawberries making their ways in rows down the fabric. A white button down. A pair of light blue jeans, slightly worn. White tennis shoes and frilly socks to poke out.

Carefully he sets the items down, and begins undressing the doll.

Chase doesn't protest. He stopped being embarrassed of showing his body to Pseudo a long time ago, as this is a regular practice for the two now. He's not allowed to get dressed or undressed on his own. Not allowed to eat on his own, drink on his own, bathe on his own, think on his own. He even has to ask to use the bathroom.

Pink isn't sure if he's just depressed, or completely apathetic. He doesn't care, fighting is useless. What difference does it make?

What irks him now is the last few times their routine has been done, Chase finds himself enjoying it.

He doesn't have to make any decisions anymore. In the mornings and evenings, he barely lifts a finger, completely dependent on Pseudo to do everything. No more stress on what to wear or if it looks nice. No more stress on what to eat or cook. No more worrying about waking up on time to get to work, or waking up late and realizing he's worn the wrong shoes. No more of anything he has to put any effort into.

The thought of it makes him sick. The fact that he likes it now? He likes it? That can't be right. It cant be right.

"I told you so," Pseudo says, slipping the button up over Pink's bare shoulders. Scars litter his body, torn up like a chew toy.

"T- told... told me so what?"

Pseudo smiles, pulling down Chase's pants next.

"That you'd like this someday."

Jeans slip on. Zip, button.

Chase frowns, growing red in his cheeks. "I don't like taking pictures.."

"You know what I'm talking about."

"I---N- s- stop.. stop listening to my thoughts!"

Pseudo slaps him on the mouth, be polite.

Chase huffs, growing more and more embarrassed. It takes him a few seconds to talk again, trying to correct himself after discipline.

"Why do you have to listen to my head all the time..."

"You're mine, Pinky Pie. I want to know what's going on up there. Lift your foot."

Chase does as he's told, feeling the socks from this morning come off and the frilly ones come on. Shoes are next.

The puppet is silent for a few moments. Then, he decides to ask inside his mind: "Do you hear everything?"

"Only when I want to."

"So you're not listening.... all the time, then?"

Pseudo comes up once the laces are tied, beginning to button up Chase's shirt.

"Only when I want to."

Another few silent moments, and the cardigan is over the dolls body. A pink comb straightens out pink hair, and a finishing touch of light makeup on his pretty face. Now, Chase is ready for pictures.

"Sit in the middle of the blanket," Pseudo commands, grabbing the polaroid and flicking the power switch. "Oh, eh, grab a teddy bear."

"...... Which one?"

He hates himself for asking that question. He hates himself for not wanting to make the decision. It's just proof that Pseudo's methods work.

The monster peeks through the camera to make sure the angle is just right.

"The one with buttons for eyes."

Chase obeys, and poses as he's told.

[inthepeakymidwinter]

First Edition (Thomas Shelby x Reader)

Summary: Y/N loses a family member and comes to stay with old neighborhood friends....The Shelby's. Word Count: 876 TW: Drinking Tags: @theshelbyclan @globetrotter28 --------------------------------------------

My grandfather had passed away shortly during the midst of an industrial revolution. It wasn’t excellent timing, but thankfully I knew the Shelby’s. Their mom was close friends with my mom when we were all young children. I hadn’t seen them in ages as they were always busy with their new betting shop but somehow once my grandfather’s bakery went under after he passed they allowed me to stay with them for a short while. Thomas, the middle child, had offered a place to stay at his newly purchased mansion. I was very grateful for the Shelby’s indeed.

I was sitting in the home library. Sulking in my own sorrow and looking for decent books to read. It was then that I noticed an old favorite of mine ‘Persuasion’ written by Jane Austen. It reminded me of when I was a young teenager in Small Heath, entrapped in a love triangle with the young Thomas Shelby and his younger brother John. Johns happily married now with a lot of children, but Thomas is a widow, and I chose to avoid marriage ever since I was 17 years old. I carried a lot of independence with me and prided myself on it.

As I found myself lost in thought I noticed the door to the library creak open. I turned my head and saw the owner of the house catch my glance with the same chilled stare he gave me once he returned from the war. A lot of people I knew were different after the war, but Thomas Shelby was in his own special category all to himself. I didn’t know what he’d been through. He would never dare to let me in…but I do know that whatever he experienced hit him so hard that I could barely recognize him once he came home.

“Lost in your books again huh Y/n” He teased as I had put the book ‘Persuasion’ back into its place on the book shelf.

“It seems as if it’s the one vice I can’t seem to give up these days…sorry…I didn’t mean to go through your things” I apologized, recognizing that not everything in someone’s home should be touched.

“By all means, Y/n go ahead. These were all my wife’s. She loved reading as much as you did when I first met you, don’t feel bad” Thomas reminisced.

“I’m sorry for your loss” I gave my condolences and all he did was nod in acceptance.  We stood there in silence for a few moments before he walked towards the minibar in the room and poured himself a glass of brown liquor. He cleared his throat, took a sip from his glass, and sat on the leather couch that was conveniently placed in the middle of the room.

“Feel free to take all the books you want Y/n…They’re all first editions” He offered. As blown away as I was by the offer, I couldn’t accept something so priceless.

I smiled and sat next to him on the couch. “I would never do that Mr. Shelby. They’re much too valuable” I told him. He stared deeply into my eyes for a minute until he shifted in his seat and adjusted his posture.

“You know you are still one of the select few of people who still have the privilege to call me by my first name, Y/n” He stated seriously.

I stared into his baby blue eyes for a minute, completely enamored with his beauty until I had to snap out of it. His good looks and charisma still strike me all these years later.

“I wasn’t sure where we stood exactly…after all this time” I mentioned.

“I think you know exactly where we stand” He spoke softly and brought a hand to my cheek, softly caressing my face.

“I’m not the same as I was all these years ago, Thomas” I sighed.

“I’d never dreamed you’d be” He spoke.

“A lot has changed” I frowned and took his hand away from my face as I remembered what happened with my grandpa.   

“I know… I’m sorry” He apologized and sipped his glass.

“I never thought our families would have separated. I thought I’d always spend my days with you, John, and Arthur” I said and held his hand.

“-and I never thought I’d get married to anyone but you” He spoke honestly.

“Why are you doing this, Thomas?” I asked in all sincerity.

He looked at the floor and back up at me. “We’ve both lost people, Y/n. I don’t want to lose you too”.

I nodded my head and stood up from the couch. The thought of Thomas Shelby actually liking me back all these years later was too much for my mind to handle.    “I need to go have a bath…I had a long trip” I spoke softly and shuffled my way out of the room.

“Y/n one more thing” He shouted from across the room. “Yes Thomas?” I spun on my heels and answered his call. “Sleep in my bed tonight…My staff hasn’t finished the guest room yet. I’ll sleep on the couch if you don’t mind” He insisted.

I nodded my head slowly and walked out of the room in a daze. Did he just call me to his bedroom?

[mourningnews]

hey guys ! sunny here ! with my baby named.......... sunny ????

the basics.

NAME: sunny havery

SKELETON: the nice guy

AGE: twenty two

GENDER: cis man

PRONOUNS: he/him

ZODIAC SIGN: cancer

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual, biromantic

DND ALIGNMENT: chaotic good

TV TROPES: friend to all living things, broken ace, stepford smiler, meaningful name

                                        headcanons.

nerdjock blueprint, he's what the term nerdjock was based off of honestly. despite no longer being a surfer, sunny is super into sports and works out whenever he can. nowadays, his focus is more on the nerd side that he sort of abandoned in his teens. mostly, his personal time outside of work and friends is spent planning for when he arrives at the local bookstore, where once a week he is the dungeon master for a game of d&d for a group of local middle schoolers.

this is the guy to go to if you need any sort of stupid mundane task done. need help cleaning out your garage? need your oil changed? don't have the spoons to even clean your room? he's there. his love language is acts of service and god does it show. he's the second oldest of six siblings so he's absolutely no stranger to helping out and taking care of others. if you think your request is stupid, it definitely isn't.

absolutely wasn't always a well known party boy/friend to all. he started out the way most of us do before we learn to conform to others: as a nerdy outcast. sunny would never admit that his glowup and taking an interest in sports aided in him getting friends, he likes to believe that his good attitude and kindness earned him that itself. and, maybe it did a little.. but being hot helped.

the life of any party. he finds himself everywhere, and talking to everyone. it's a wonder how he makes time between drinking games and dancing to chat up the wallflowers, but somehow he does. that's the thing about sunny, he has time for everyone.

inwardly extremely self destructive, but tries to not make it anyone's problem. on nights where he definitely drinks too much and is no longer having any fun, he walks himself home before the party is over, never keen to bother anyone. this false sense of independence and stupid belief that he can handle anything himself gets him into shit a lot of the time.

has authority issues like no other. being raised to fear authority has made him see things the complete other way as an adult, where he tries to brush off and make a joke about everything. whenever anyone demonstrates a superior position over him, nervous laughter and awkward behavior come with the territory. his job performance is always worse when the owners of the boardwalk games check in.

speaking of the boardwalk, he loves his job there. besides the obvious of it just being a fun environment, he loves making friends with tourists and being their guide when he's off shift. and yes, those games are absolutely rigged. hate to tell you.

loves the ocean so very much. hours after work will be spent on the beach, right where the water meets the sand, collecting seashells. losing surfing was one of the biggest losses of his life (yes, even before both of his parental figures). when he gets a chance to play d&d instead of dming his own games, he is usually the same water genasi paladin he created at 13.

                                        biography.

abuse tw, alcoholism tw

sunny didn't blame his mother for leaving them, even when he was old enough to understand her choice. he just wished she'd taken him with her. he wished he'd remember her, known her as someone other than the woman who abandoned her two sons with a man who wasn't even their father. damiano havery, and his abuse, was all he really knew about a parent's love. his own father, to sunny's knowledge, not interested in meeting him, and his brother taking a lot of it to protect him. he wondered a lot in childhood if all kids were tough, and he was the weak one, or if joshua really was just that strong. his questions would be answered when he started going to school, happily sharing facts about the fantasy and sci-fi worlds he had entangled himself in, and a single glare from josh would have the kids around him scrambling to care— or, rather, be nice for their own sake. the appearance of a new mother, and over time, a whopping four new siblings to the bunch, signaled change for sunny. he kept his optimism, even as his stepmother, madison, overlooked him in favor of a bottle. somehow, sunny was convinced that he could win her over if her children loved him enough. so, he was the best older brother he could be, using all of the love joshua had shown him over the years to try and make this haunted house a home for someone. when they packed up for manoa bay, he considered telling someone the truth about why they were leaving so suddenly. more than a few times in those last few days he'd left the classroom, fully intending to march to the guidance counselor and tell her that his brother had been hurt. but, the thought that no one would take in six whole kids held him back. manoa bay proved to have some serious merits to it. when he wasn't cooking or cleaning for his siblings, he'd take them to the beach, and play with them for hours. while his older brother made money for them, he took care of housework. he also started taking on new hobbies in this time, and soon enough, surfing became his life. with newfound interests, more physical activity, and the pressures that came with being popular, sunny was fortunate to grow fast. he was as optimistic as ever, especially with how well his life away from home was going. he'd even begun helping his parents, albeit quietly, and attempting not to be seen by them. somehow, even now, he thought change was possible. it didn't hurt that he treated himself to whatever was still in the bottles madison had left behind. by the time he was ready to graduate high school, and joshua left off to miami, he made the mistake of believing that his stature and muscle were formidable now, that he didn't need to take his fancy scholarship and get out of there, that he could stay home and protect his siblings.. like josh did for him. this one misjudgment, and one night where he felt particularly bold enough to stand up to his father, would cost him any chance at a surfing career. it was stupid, being so messed up over a knee injury, but the deaths that would follow: first his stepmother, then his father, by josh's hand, wouldn't move him any. he'd been on autopilot those few months, and the spell would only be broken once his father's death had been deemed an accident. he recalled letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding in, noticing his siblings in the room for the first time. that night, he went to the rager of his life, and danced with all the prettiest people in manoa bay. fuck it, right?

[eddysocs]

Resilience In Romance (Trixie Franklin x OC)

Summary: Trixie is there for Eloise when she has a flashback to the first time Edmond ever beat her.

Word Count: 470

Warnings: Past Abuse, Flashbacks, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort

Eloise Rafferty had always considered herself a strong and independent woman, but the scars of her past still lingered deep within her. The memories of her ex-husband's abuse haunted her, resurfacing at the most unexpected and unwelcome of times.

One evening, while Eloise was helping with the evening rounds at Nonnatus House, a sudden noise in the hallway triggered a vivid flashback. The sound of a slamming door transported her back to the days when Edmond's temper knew no bounds. The swift slam of the door to their flat had started it all. Edmond had lost a bet to a man he worked with and yet somehow he’d twisted it in his mind that she was to blame for his losses.

She tried to be polite and show him kindness and sympathy, offering to hear about his day, but talking was not something he’d been interested in. He came in hurling accusations, placing blame where no blame should have fallen, and when Eloise denied having a part in any of it, he’d smacked her with the open face of his palm.

That first slap stung, even now, as if she were reliving it on a loop. For six months after that, he’d whaled on her for any minor inconvenience he experienced. How she hadn’t seen this side of him before they were wed was a mystery that continued to keep her up at night. But of course, he wouldn’t have shown her, not until she no longer had a way out.

Trixie, perceptive as always, noticed Eloise's sudden distress, how she’d frozen in place, unblinking for longer than was usual. She rushed to her side, gently touching her arm and whispering, "Eloise, it's alright. You're safe. You’re in Nonnatus House. Take deep breaths and focus on my voice."

Trixie's soothing presence and calming words helped ground Eloise in the present, slowly pulling her out of the painful memories that had taken her away. As she returned to the reality of the moment, Eloise's muscles relaxed and she turned and clung to Trixie's reassurance, allowing herself to be wrapped tightly in her arms. In her comforting embrace, Eloise felt her heart rate gradually returning to normal.

Tears welled up in Eloise's eyes as she finally found her voice. "Thank you, Trixie. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Trixie's warm smile and empathetic eyes served to calm her further until she almost felt like herself again. "You never have to go through this alone, Eloise. We're a family here at Nonnatus House, and we're here for each other, always."

Eloise nodded, finding strength in Trixie's compassion. Though the scars of her past would never completely fade, with Trixie by her side, and the support of her friends at Nonnatus House, she knew she could face whatever challenges the future held.

Forever Tag: @arrthurpendragon, @baubeautyandthegeek, @foxesandmagic, @carmens-garden, @bossyladies, @getawaycardotmp3, @misshiraethsworld, @kmc1989, @curious-kittens-ocs, @fanficanatic-tw

Eloise Rafferty: @dancingwith-sunflowers

[disruptedlogic]

im jinah . 33. demi woman. she/they. ┊┊ cerberus corp has been watching JEONG HANA.  some of the public has dubbed them BANSHEE because of SONIC SCREAM gifted by A ROUTINE SURGERY GONE WRONG. having been an extra ordinary since 2008, they’re doing a good job at hiding PROTECTING THEIR EARS BEFORE THEY SCREAM. when they aren’t working their day job as a BANKER, they are fond of DESIGNING JEWELRY and are never seen without THEIR HEADPHONES. at first glance they seem HEADSTRONG & RESOURCEFUL, though their close friends know them to also be METICULOUS & MOODY.  they consider themself a VILLAIN.

tw surgery, medical talk & death

001 GENERAL.

name jeong hana nicknames han age 33 date of birth november 6th zodiac scorpio place of birth answer current residence somewhere in new york gender demi woman pronouns she/they sexuality bisexualoccupation banker

faceclaim im jinah height 5'7 tattoos answer piercings ears distinguishing features dashing smile

positive traits headstrong, resourceful, hardworking, charming, fearless, independent negative traits meticulous, moody, untrustworthy, greedy labels / tropes likes art galleries, museums, picnics, hot drinks, photography dislikes annoying people, sad movies, thunderstorms fears being alone, failing hobbies designing jewelry habits speaking in korean when nervous, picking at their nails or strings from clothing

002 EXTRA ORDINARY.

near death experience…

since they were a young child, all hana wanted to be was a singer growing up. she came from a wealthy family and did everything in their power to make their dream a reality

not long before their 18th birthday they developed some very serious throat issues (a hoarse voice and neck pain) and learned they had vocal nodules and that they would need surgery to remove them

hana was hesitant to get the surgery at first but was assured that it was an easy surgery with a high success rate and they scheduled the procedure not long after that

the procedure did not go as planned and hana had some complications during surgery and didn’t wake up for a few days afterwards. she did leave the hospital with a clean bill of health and reassurance that she would be able to keep singing

after finally being cleared from the doctor to start rehearsing again, hana went to an auditorium nearby their house and went to practice alone out of fear. the last thing she wanted to do was disappoint her father if she lost her singing voice completely but when she started to sing, she let out a scream instead which caused the walls in front of them to crumble to the ground

hana quickly fell to the ground and covered their ears after the scream was finally done and was in agony and laid there until the pain eventually subsided. when she went home to tell her father what had happened, he kicked them out of their family home and was left to fend for themselves. his view being that if she wasn’t going to be able to pursue a life of fame and fortune there was no use for them there

power…

can emit a very powerful scream of high amplitude

used for destruction and if powerful enough it can rupture internal organs or turn bones into powder (aka resulting in death)

once she starts to scream they can’t stop until all of the energy is released

she has to be facing the intended target and can turn their body for the most destruction

even from a distance their scream cause harm to someone with enhanced hearing

drawbacks / vulnerabilities…

damage to their own ears without having protection

sound absorption or sound immunity make the ability useless

loss of voice (i.e. sickness) unable to use ability

codename… to this day they still don’t know how they were profiled as banshee but she does like to hear the codename when she hears about her doings.

003 EXTRA.

has been working at banks since they were 18 and it’s how they got through paying for college

stealing money from the banks unnoticed

started to do villainous things during college when they learned their side hustle of stealing money from work wasn’t enough to keep them going

puts on cute lil headphones before they scream

connections:

best friends

roommate

exes

past friends

enemies

business associates (wink)

whatever you can think of

[1whitewitch1]

Tw ED discussion

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Around this time last year my eating disorder got a lot worse than it had been for a long time. I had been purging since I was about 14 on and off. But it had never gotten to the level that it got to. I was creeping on ED Tumblr every day. I also started creeping on ED Twitter and partially on TikTok, but there isn't much of a community on there thank God. My ex-boyfriend had cheated on me twice and I was at my wits end with my body. I was on birth control from 2020 until 2021. That made me gain a lot of weight and it made me really dislike myself. The pandemic also didn't help. I gained a lot of weight. Finding radical feminism has literally changed my life and I'm not even exaggerating. Since I've been living independently out of home I've lost weight due to being unable to afford food and starving and I've never even gotten close to the weight that I thought I cpuld achieve when I was active in my anorexia. Food still controls a lot of my thoughts but I can manage it a lot better now. All thanks to this community. My body is not the same as when I was 17 and 50 kilos and doing MDMA every weekend. My body is not the same as when I was a 10-year-old girl. I cannot realistically be a lower weight than I am without doing intense dieting, exercise and restriction. And I walk and stand for anywhere between 5-10 hours 4-6 days a week at work. So I'm getting the appropriate amount of walking exercise that an adult is supposed to get. I just don't go to the gym and don't stride to make gains or weight loss. I would absolutely love to try to bulk up and become a muscly person who is able to defend herself one day. I would really really like to do that, but for now I'm way too depressed LMAO.

I had to realise that I'm a woman now. I'm 21. I'm not a child anymore. I had to accept that my body wasn't going to magically get rid of its hips. It wasn't going to get rid of its stomach. It wasn't going to magically get rid of its thighs. I had to accept my body as it was and it was really hard to do and it still can be quite hard. But I recognise now that my body is a woman's body and I recognise now that all the women around me have women's bodies, adult human female bodies and they are beautiful and there is absolutely no reason for me to sit around. Wishing I could be fucking stick thin with absolutely no body fat. It is completely unrealistic for my body and the fact that I convinced myself and tried so hard for so long to be. That makes me feel embarrassed even though it isn't embarrassing, and many women suffer with eating disorders.

It breaks my heart how many women have to go through issues with eating disorders and it breaks my heart how many literal children were on ED spaces online. I saw 13-year-olds posting funny and relatable ED memes and I saw them posting their diets and their workouts for that week. It's now unfathomable to me that kids are in these spaces, specifically young girls. I never interacted with those accounts and I would block them right away, but the fact that they existed in the same space that I was in, was and is unnerving.

Anyway, this is all just a long way of saying that radical feminism has helped me accept my natural body. It has helped me learn to love my womanly body. It has helped me love my stomach, my thighs, my curves and it has more so helped me see them in a neutral light, which in my opinion is more important. I don't have to love my body. I don't even want to love my body. I just want to be at peace with myself in this world that is constantly trying to make us hate ourselves. And I think I'm getting there which is really fucking nice. Sorry if there are any spelling errors or gramma errors, I used to text to speech to write this, but I did try to correct everything.💞

[mysxcmxgic]

"SOMEWHERE IN THE WOODS BY HOZIER"

tw / violence, death, trauma, and complex family

anna zhu, eternally frozen at sixteen, carries centuries of pain behind eyes that have witnessed the rise and fall of empires. her petite frame and delicate features belie a strength forged in the crucible of time and tragedy. to the uninitiated, she might appear as just another teenager lost in the chaos of new orleans. but those who know better give her a wide berth, recognizing the coiled danger that lurks beneath her porcelain skin. born in 15th century china, anna's transformation into a vampire came at the hands of her own mother, pearl - an act of desperation to save her child from a fatal illness. this gift of immortality became anna's curse, trapping her in an eternal adolescence while the world aged around her. her most prized possession is an ancient jade pendant, a reminder of her human life and the last tangible connection to a world long turned to dust. anna's time in mystic falls left deep scars, both physical and emotional. the betrayal and loss she experienced there honed her already sharp mind into a weapon of cold calculation. in new orleans, she walks a solitary path, aligning herself with the independent factions but trusting no one completely. her vast knowledge of vampire lore and supernatural history makes her an invaluable asset, but also a potential threat to those with secrets to hide. despite her youthful appearance, anna's eyes betray a weariness that comes from centuries of existence. she's seen the best and worst of humanity, experienced love and loss on a scale few can comprehend. this depth of experience manifests in her actions - she can be ruthlessly pragmatic one moment and surprisingly compassionate the next, her moral compass constantly recalibrating to navigate the murky waters of supernatural politics. anna's vampiric abilities are honed to near perfection. her speed and strength, impressive even by vampire standards, are matched only by her cunning. she moves through the shadows of new orleans like a ghost, gathering information and manipulating events from behind the scenes. her feeding habits are discreet and controlled, a far cry from the bloodthirsty newborn she once was. in quiet moments, anna can be found in the city's oldest libraries, poring over ancient texts in search of... something. whether it's a way to break the curse of vampirism, a means to resurrect her lost loved ones, or simply an attempt to understand her place in this ever-changing world, only anna knows. she guards her true motivations as closely as she guards her heart. the ongoing supernatural conflict in new orleans both intrigues and disgusts anna. having lived through countless wars and power struggles, she sees the cyclical nature of the violence, the futility of it all. yet she can't help but be drawn into the fray, if only to protect the few she's come to care about in her long existence. anna zhu is a study in contradictions - a teenager with the wisdom of centuries, a predator with a deep capacity for love, a loner who yearns for connection. in the supernatural melting pot of new orleans, she stands as a wild card, her allegiances fluid and her true agenda known only to herself. those who underestimate her based on her apparent youth do so at their own peril, for in anna's eyes burns the fire of a survivor who has outlived civilizations. in a city where the past and present collide, anna zhu walks the line between them, a living bridge between what was and what could be.

[waveofstars]

ROXANNE LYNN ROSS: bio + stats.

click here for stats. read below for bio.

traits: perfectly blunt, somehow charming, chaotic energy, adaptive, deadpan, fiercely independent, rigid, unforgiving, overthinker, spontaneous, adventurous, bold, easily agitated, strange, closed off, confident, loyal

aesthetic: disposable cameras, explorer, stuck in the 90’s, nurtured by nature, radiohead vinyls, literally chasing waterfalls, wanderlust, towering trees, old boots, open book but not too open, resting bitch face, mountain call, somehow deadpan and upbeat

BIO (tw: brief mentions of drugs, death, homophobia)

Hazy days, wet earth, and the pitter patter of rain soothed young Roxanne in an otherwise chaotic world. She was born in Washington and took solace in the trees that surrounded her childhood home. The nature around her was often the only peace the young girl had in her life. She’d jump in puddles, named each and every snail she found, and spent her days outdoors in that rainy, sleepy town. It beat the alternative - staying inside a run down home they inherited from her grandpa with a mother who was too preoccupied chasing a high. Her older sister Sam practically raised Rox in the early years. 

The two were inseparable and shared their escapes with one another. Rox went on hikes with her sister, often spitting out random facts about the foliage surrounding them, and Sam would share all of her knowledge of the 90’s rock and grunge music she was so captivated by. Though their bond remained unbreakable, Rox noticed Sam began to change the older she became. It seemed like she became plagued by the same addictions that fueled and deteriorated their mother. Rox slowly watched that light in Sam go out, and eventually, it went out forever. Not even finished with high school, Sam passed away due to an overdose. Rox was only thirteen and so uncertain on how to live without the only person who had ever understood her.

The loss didn’t just destroy Rox’s world - it managed to change their mother’s completely. Their mother swore off the drugs that had controlled so much of all of their lives. It wasn’t that simple in the beginning, but the sobriety eventually came. With this newfound sobriety and grief, Rox’s mother turned to religion as a way to cope. Their Sunday mornings suddenly became dedicated to church, though Rox was often forced to attend. Once she entered high school, her mother became a whole new parent. The woman who was once never home, and likely off on some bender, was now an extremely strict parent that lived in fear that Rox would follow her sister’s footsteps. 

Rox wasn’t allowed to do much, but that didn’t necessarily stop her. Her overbearing mother only fueled her desire to get out and explore more. She often snuck out, bought a disposable camera, and went out with friends to explore Washington and the beautiful nature they grew up in. She never dabbled with drugs and rarely touched a drop of alcohol in her teenage years. Rox spent her time diving into the world of photography and making good memories with her friends. As Rox grew from her grief and began to find herself truly, she also came to terms with her sexuality. She knew ever since she was young that she seemed to like girls, but it wasn’t until she was well in her teenage years that she finally accepted the truth that faced her all this time. 

Whenever high school ended, Rox’s mother wanted her to attend community college so she would stay in town. For a woman so terrified of losing another daughter, her mind was completely changed when Rox came out as a lesbian. That seemed to be the last nail in the coffin of their relationship at the time. Putting herself in debt, Rox decided to move far from home in order to pursue photography at a university in Colorado. Though it was hard saying goodbye to Washington, the mountains in Colorado quickly became her new home. She immediately immersed herself in the hustle of photography and was able to catch gigs here and there that used her nature and wildlife photography. The young woman was building a name for herself, so much so that she inevitably dropped out of college. 

Soon enough, she got picked up by several different travel magazines and now she works as a full time photographer. She is often traveling to different countries or around the beautiful parts of the states. Even though it can be chaotic at times, it’s exactly the life she always wanted. With her deadpan humor and blunt tongue, it was often a mystery to Rox how she managed to keep friends in her life. They always seemed to enjoy her company, and maybe that’s because when she wasn’t taking photos, she was likely cooking and hosting dinner nights with them all. Rox had made a life of her own and she often dedicates all her strength to her late sister. Up until recently, Rox had no communication with her mother. After all these years, the woman was finally coming around to accepting her daughter. Their relationship is still entirely rocky, so it’s no secret that Rox prefers her found family. Even if she didn’t have them, the mountains and trees were all she ever needed.

[dayslikecrazypaving]

Technicolour Part 2/3

The third and fourth times Narvin saw the world differently through Leela

Rated T: TW for blood and injury.

Part one here

Third: Silence

Exploring the first Gallifrey since they lost Braxiatel was never going to be easy as his knowledge of the axis was almost unparalleled. The idea of choosing an alternate Gallifrey on a whim jangled his nerves. Narvin liked doing things best when those things were meticulously planned. However, Braxiatels loss left them little choice but to act without a grand design in mind, which had suited Leela down to the ground. Leela had almost been climbing the walls in the axis, the forced rest caused by Romana’s grief having a similar effect on her nerves as the lack of preparation and spontaneity were having on his.

They stepped through the portal in tandem, Narvin steadying Leela with a gentle hand on her elbow. Leela wouldn’t accept help once he’d described the terrain, and he respected her need for independence. It was hard to stop himself hovering over her though, but the risk of driving her away was too great.

This Gallifrey's upper atmosphere was disconcertingly purple - some sort of volcanic event had obviously obscured the light radiated from the twin suns. Narvin couldn’t see the Citadel, and from the position of the moon relative to them both- they may have been half a planet away. They walked a couple of hundred metres from the portal before Narvin paused, trying to get his bearings using the position of what stars he could see - but the ominous clouds were making it more difficult than it should have been. Engrossed in the charts on his data pad hadn’t noticed Leela step in front of him.

She placed a hand over his mouth, stifling any protest. Eyes widening, he looked baffled as she tilted her head, over emphasising the fact she was listening. He stilled and tried to hear what held Leela’s attention. Her hearing had always been better than his but since she’d lost her sight it had become exceptional. She motioned for him to listen. There was nothing. No wind. No birds. No insects. The air had become unnaturally still. He turned back towards the portal. It was as though something had swallowed the landscape behind it. An inky void was creeping towards them both, erasing the Gallifreyan plains behind them from existence. Narvin’s blood ran cold.

Seizing Leela’s hand he drags her back towards the portal. He felt her gasp and stagger as she tried to compensate for the sudden change in her balance.

The darkness loomed forward, gaining ground, the edges of the chasm gnawed at his peripheral vision. It was almost as though something was eating the space behind the Portal. The rasp of their hard breathing roared loud in his ears - the complete absence of sound made their existence unnaturally loud. His limbs felt leaden and Leela stumbled as he propelled her bodily forward, scraping her knees against the rocky ground. Grasping her hips tightly he pushes her over the threshold of the portal as the darkness prickles at the edge of his awareness, threatening to swallow him whole. The void suddenly feels horribly endless as it presses in on him, torching his extremities like frostbite. He’s trapped like an animal pinned by a spotlight, lamped into immobility as his surroundings fade to nothingness.

A hand reaches through the portal and grabs his robes roughly and he plummets through space and time. He falls gracelessly in a tangle of limbs, the cold floor of the axis a welcome but unforgiving landing pad. He vaguely hears Leela shouting for K9 to close the portal. The buzzing fluorescent lights of the axis temporarily dazzle him and he can’t see as his eyes adjust. Leela reaches out for him, and he clings to her hand, a lifeline in the dark.

Fourth - Sewing

Of course he’d stepped straight into the snare trap. Of course. Narvin had never had the best luck, but since he’d had his regenerations ripped from him he swore the universe was finding new and creative ways to damage the body he had remaining. The fact that it had been deliberately hidden into the undergrowth was immaterial to the verbal roasting that Leela was giving him for not avoiding a trap meant for medium sized rodents.

Once they’d returned he had sat in the axis common area, to clean the slice it had taken out of the bottom of his calf just above his ankle. Annoyingly, it stubbornly refused to stop bleeding. He would have to suture the wound. He’d been trying to avoid this as a concept but it seemed he had no other option. His stomach roiled in protest. His vision became dangerously wobbly and his face must’ve turned a sympathetic shade of green to reflect his inner digestive turmoil - as the next thing he knew a pair of empathetic blue eyes were looking into his.

Leela gently took the gauze from him and appraised his ankle. She clicked her tongue in disapproval at the depth of the wound and Narvin’s ineffectual attempts at cleaning it. Pulling up a second chair, she swatted his hands away from the cut. Unexpectedly, with a less than dignified squeak from Narvin, she took his leg from where it was crossed in his lap, and brought it into her own. Narvin froze. He hadn’t considered the variables for this situation. He was already a bit woozy from the blood loss, and the churning of his stomach, and Leela felt like a small furnace against his bare leg.

Leela was laughing softly at him, obviously finding his brain short circuiting amusing. Everything was brought back into sharp focus when she placed a large pad of gauze soaked in antibacterial fluid into the wound. He hissed and reflexively tried to remove his leg but Leela’s grip was firm.

“You make more fuss than a time tot” she chided cheerfully. He scowled.

“I do not” he responded, automatically switching gear into argumentative mode. He could see she was preparing the suture kit, and began to plan his escape. As if sensing this, Leela forced him to meet her gaze, eyebrows raised, incredulous.

“How far do you think you could hobble before I catch you? This wound needs closing. Stop fussing.”

“Timelords do not fuss. Outrageous accusation. Fussing is definitely the preserve of lesser civilisations.” Despite this statement, he looked away, scrunching his face against the knowledge of what was about to happen. Leela chuckled again. She began to sew, deftly closing the wound. As she tidied the lesion, pausing only to wipe the area clean as she went. It took less than five microspans. Risking a quick glance back at what she was doing, Narvin couldn’t believe how fast and neatly she’d stitched his leg. He exhaled more dramatically than he’d intended too.

“Thank you” he said, in what he hoped was a gruff, masculine tone, but had a distinctly higher pitch than his usual voice. Leela smiled, broad and genuine, all teeth and sincerity. He had no choice, her smile was infectious and returned it as warmly as he could. As if it was nothing at all, and not the major event it felt like, Leela leant forward, kissed his forehead, squeezed his shoulder and walked back towards her quarters.

For the second time in twenty microspans, Narvin was left speechless.

[yandere-daydreams]

what do you think of controlling stepdad! Diluc? I would imagine him being very controlling of his stepdaughter darling to a point she cant be dependent herself (doesnt know how to cook, clean, wash clothes, etc.) because Diluc forbids any kinds of activity that shows darling being independent. Diluc would let all of those tiring things be dealt by his maids. Darling has no choice but to be dependent on her stepdad as an adult, its a frustrating and humiliating life really. Kaeya can be the uncle that humiliates her or bullies her in a sexual way in secret because he knows his brother gets super possessive over darling.

tw - pseudo-incest (not really), financial manipulation, emotional manipulation, mentions of death, and kaeya isn't mentioned but i am Thinking about him.

to be fair, you're not completely spoiled, and even if you were, it wouldn't be his fault. you were already well into your teens by the time your parent married into the Ragnvindr Clan, and since it was a political union, made only for the financial gain of both parties, your exposure to Diluc was limited to festivals and holidays, to stiff conversations over imported champagne and awkward pleasentries whenever you two were unlucky enough to find yourselves alone in the same room. he was never cold to you, but you couldn't say you ever visited just to see him. you liked Diluc well-enough, but... he wasn't a father, to you. and he made no effort to act like one.

until your parent died in a tragic accident, something involving a set of stairs and a terrible fall. until, in your mourning, you pause your studies in Sumeru and return to Mondstadt to grieve, now with Diluc as your sole guardian.

he's nice to you, albeit distant. they never truly loved each other, you've always known that, but he does what he can to comfort you, setting you up in his manor, assigning a small legion of maids to look after you and serving as a rigid-but-sturdy shoulder to cry on. he helps you make arrangements for the funeral, dictates letters for you to send out to relatives and family friends and business partners, and even after the first wave of grief and the agony begins to settle into a constant melancholy, he lets you stay, lets pass the time in his office or his sprawling library, lets you continue to hang over his life like a fog that just won't seem to pass. he doesn't have to. you're an adult, you're capable of taking care of yourself, but he says that he doesn't mind, that you can stay as long as you'd like to. he says, sometimes, that he likes having you around, jokes about giving you a job at the Dawn Winery, about giving you a reason to never leave Mondstadt again. it's rarely funny, but you try to laugh. he's doing his best to make you feel comfortable, to make you feel welcome. you can tell that he's trying to be kind.

you think he's trying to act more like a father, too. he leaves you gifts, bundles of sunflowers and windwheel asters, clothes tailored to your every preference, trinkets and antiques you've expressed even a passing interest in, and he does things you assume a father would think to, asking after every friend you've ever mentioned, checking on you in the middle of the night, even if he rarely does anything more than sit on the edge of your bed and stare. when you think about leaving, he expresses his concerns - asking what you plan to do in Sumeru, reminding you just how little you inherited from your parent's estate, worrying as to whether or not you'll be able to take care of yourself with your... limited abilities. you've told him you can cook and clean, that you're passionate about your studies, but he doesn't seem to believe you, doesn't seem to think you'd stand a chance on your own. he laughs when you argue, seems to take your anger as little more than a lingering symptom of your loss, and when he's at his worst, his most honest, he admits that he'd be lonely without you, that he's begun to see you as a companion, as something he wouldn't like to lose.

that, if you ever did anything more than think about leaving, he may just have to make it so that you'll see him as less of a father, if he ever wanted to be one at all.

[casitafallz-a]

Pariah AU | Julieta ( miscarriage tw )

This is Verana Madrigal, known as Rana for short, if the fourth daughter of Julieta and Agustín of the Pariah AU, conceived 2 months before the Casita’s rebuild was completed after the Encanto found out via Camilo of Julieta’s actions to interfering with Mirabel’s ceremony, somewhat turning them more against Julieta as they came to the conclusion she had effectively destroyed the miracle that had protected them.

Things got difficult after the residence they had been at didn’t want Julieta there but thankfully, Agustin’s mother was quick to lend a hand, inviting them to stay. So they did.

Agustín came back to help comfort his wife, which did work for a small part of time but reality of the situation wasn’t different. 

So for 9 weeks, Julieta didn’t notice the signs of pregnancy, assuming mostly the symptoms were a result of stress and depression she had been handling since the collapse.

After the magic returned, Dolores picked up the subtle sounds of fetal heartbeats but wasn’t sure if she should tell anyone, as she assumed that Julieta knew given her Tia had three other kids before.

Three weeks later, Julieta went MIA after a nasty spout of gossip pushed Julieta into a disassociated state to Encanto; which Dolores did hear initially but didn’t think Julieta would get far as she went to get help to bring her back.

As the family began to worry when Julieta didn’t return that night, Dolores did let slip that Julieta was carrying twins; given how many hearts she heard which only spurred the family to find her. Two and a half days later, Julieta’s door went dark which led to the grim assumption that Julieta had died out in the forests.

Julieta herself still hadn’t realised she was pregnant, even when she return back to reality to find herself lost in the woods, she tried to return, getting more lost and further away. As the hours without food and water, Julieta tried to forage as she went to stop the pangs.

it wasn’t until after she almost drowned that Hallow and her group had access to a proper scanner in the watcher AU, which picked up on one of the heartbeats; the stress of the ordeal causing Julieta to miscarry one of the babies that she had yet to pass, and the other one still at risk. She was medically bed ridden for a few days to ensure the surviving baby wasn’t at risk when she was discharged. 

Because of this, The Watcher Casita had a suit prepped in the event of an early delivery to maximise the baby’s chances, at the suggestion of Watcher!Julieta. This came to save the Baby’s life, 3 months later, when Pariah!Juliet was about 5 months along where she was assisting the group navigate a Corrupt AU to get the corrupted magic candle where she was caught by Corrupt!Luisa and suffered the traumatic loss of her leg.

Because of that, the baby had to be delivered prematurely so Pariah had better survival chances with her leg. Fortunate, the Watcher AU was more technology advanced, and with magic and with close ties with a more advanced, tech AU, they were able to forge together an artificial womb for the baby to continue to grow in until she could breath independently. 

Julieta was able to stay by her side in her own recovery and named the baby girl Verana, a name meaning Faith, as she needed something to believe in and to trust in during the difficult time.

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

[genshin-impact-updates]

Version 2.1 "Floating World Under the Moonlight" Update Details (Part II)

VIII. Other Additions

1. Adds a new mechanism whereby there is a probability to trigger a character's voice line related to treasure chests when they open treasure chests in the open world.

2. New Recipes:

○ Inazuma Shimura's: Sweet Shrimp Sushi, Bird Egg Sushi, Grilled Unagi Fillet, Omelette Rice

○ Inazuma Kiminami Restaurant: Taiyaki, More-and-More

○ Complete the limited-time World Quest "Contraption-Contrived Cooking Course" to obtain: Rice Pudding, Braised Meat, and Oncidium Tofu.

○ Complete the World Quest "Neko Is a Cat" to obtain: Invigorating Kitty Meal

○ Complete the event "Moonlight Merriment" to obtain: Chili-Mince Cornbread Buns

○ Aloy's specialty: Satiety Gel

○ Sangonomiya Kokomi's specialty: A Stunning Stratagem

○ Kujou Sara's specialty: Faith Eternal

3. New Achievement categories such as "Teyvat Fishing Guide: Series I," Inazuma: The Islands of Thunder and Eternity - Series II," and additions to the "Wonders of the World" category

4. New Namecards:

○ "Travel Notes: Moonchaser": Reward obtained via the BP system.

○ "Raiden Shogun: Enlightenment": Reward for reaching Friendship Lv. 10 with Raiden Shogun

○ "Sangonomiya Kokomi: The Deep": Reward for reaching Friendship Lv. 10 with Sangonomiya Kokomi

○ "Kujou Sara: Tengu": Reward for reaching Friendship Lv. 10 with Kujou Sara

○ "Aloy: Dawn": Reward for reaching Friendship Lv. 10 with Aloy

○ "Achievement: Nails": Reward for completing all achievements under "Teyvat Fishing Guide: Series I"

○ "Inazuma: Sangonomiya Crest": Reward for completing all achievements under "Inazuma: The Islands of Thunder and Eternity - Series II"

○ "Celebration: Tuneful Delight": Obtained from the "Boundless Symphony" bundle

○ "Celebration: Ikki": Obtained from the "Hyakunin Ikki" event

5. New Animals: Adorned Unagi, Red-Finned Unagi, Sunset Loach, Sunny Loach

6. New Fishes: Medaka, Glaze Medaka, Sweet-Flower Medaka, Aizen Medaka, Dawncatcher, Crystalfish, Lunged Stickleback, Betta, Venomspine Fish, Akai Maou, Snowstrider, Brown Shirakodai, Purple Shirakodai, Tea-Colored Shirakodai, Abiding Angelfish, Raimei Angelfish, Golden Koi, Rusty Koi, Pufferfish, Bitter Pufferfish, event-exclusive fish Moonfin

7. Pool of Sapphire Grace: Ornamental Fish caught via Fishing can be raised in this sort of pond. This Furnishing Blueprint can be redeemed at the Liyue Fishing Association.

8. New Bundle "Boundless Symphony" will be added to the Shop at a later date: Purchase this bundle to receive Special Namecard Style: "Celebration: Tuneful Delight," Special Furnishing: "Splendid Phrase," Special Wind Glider: "Wings of Poetic Melodies," and Primogems × 1,000.

9. Adds Collection Series 2 – 6 of "Paimon's Paintings" chat emojis and emoji saving feature

10. Spiral Abyss:

Floor 11 Ley Line Disorders changed to:

• When opponents are defeated, all party members will be affected by the "Corrosion" status.

• Characters being Corroded will lose a fraction of their HP every second. Active characters can be brought down by Corrosion. When a non-active character's HP is less than 15%, they will no longer lose HP due to Corrosion.

• Corrosion lasts 10s and can stack. The duration of each stack is counted independently.

Floor 12 Ley Line Disorders changed to:

• For this floor only, the ley line flow will be normal.

Updated the monster lineup on Floors 11 – 12 of the Spiral Abyss.

Starting from the first time that the Lunar Phase refreshes after updating to Version 2.1, the two Lunar Phases will be as follows：

Phase I:

Renewing Moon

After a character uses an Elemental Burst, all party members' ATK is increased by 6.5% for 15s. Maximum 7 stacks. When 7 stacks are reached, the active character's Normal Attacks will unleash a shockwave at the position of the opponent it hits, dealing AoE DMG. A shockwave can be unleashed in this manner once every 2s.

Phase II:

Cavorting Moon

For 10s after a character uses an Elemental Burst, that character's Normal and Charged Attacks will unleash a shockwave at the position of the opponent they hit at the cost of 1% of the character's HP, dealing AoE DMG. This effect will be cleared when this character leaves the field. A shockwave can be unleashed in this manner once every 1s. Active characters can go down as a result of this HP loss.

※ There will be no change to the reset times of the Spiral Abyss and Blessing of the Abyssal Moon. These remain the first and sixteenth days of each month, respectively. The above Spiral Abyss update will take effect from September 16 (Server Time).

IX. Adjustments & Optimizations

● System

1. After the Genshin Impact Version 2.1 update, each top-up level of Genesis Crystals in the Crystal Top-Up page will be reset to provide a double bonus for the first top-up.

• After the reset, each top-up level will be reset to provide a double bonus upon your first top-up.

• Top-up bonuses that have not been used before the reset will not be accumulated. After resetting, it will not be possible to obtain two double bonuses for each top-up level.

2. After the Version 2.1 update, the "Stellar Reunion" system will feature the following updates:

• The duration of the "Stellar Reunion" event has been extended to 14 days after activation.

• During the first 4 days after unlocking "Homeward Path", new missions will be unlocked every day at 04:00. Complete the specified quests to obtain points and claim rewards. When your accumulated points reach a designated value, you can claim rewards such as Mappa Mare (Catalyst) and Fragile Resin.

• "Reunion Blessing" has been adjusted so Travelers can obtain a total of 21 opportunities to gain double drops during the event period. You can use it up to 3 times a day. The daily usage limit will be refreshed at 04:00 every day.

※ The above times for unlocking and refreshing are based on the time of the server you play on.

The timezone of each server is:

America (UTC-5); Europe (UTC+1); Asia (UTC+8); TW, HK, MO (UTC+8)

● Gameplay

1. Upgrades the trial character's ability in some Story Quests at some World Levels.

● Character

1. Adjusts the glowing effect of Lumine's outfit when she is Elementless.

2. Optimizes the animation effects of Kazuha's Elemental Burst on lower graphics settings.

3. When a character is attacked while immune to some DMG (e.g. when casting Elemental Burst), the shield's DMG Absorption will not decrease.

● Audio

1. Adjusts the frequency for the triggering of some of Ayaka's idle voice lines.

2. Optimizes the trigger mechanism of the characters' voice lines regarding the weather.

3. Optimizes the trigger mechanism of the characters' voice lines related to Friendship Level in the open world.

4. Optimizes the sound effects when using surround sound devices.

5. Optimizes the sound effects when enhancing artifacts and weapons.

6. Optimizes the Chinese and Japanese combat voice lines of some characters, and fixes the problem of missing English combat voice lines for some characters.

7. Optimizes the English, Japanese, and Korean voice lines for certain quests and fixes the issue whereby Japanese voice-over lines were missing from certain quests.

● Monsters

1. Optimizes the characters' skill to lock-on and attack the Ruin Sentinels after the Perpetual Mechanical Array splits.

2. Removes the Nobushi's skill to jump back.

3. Optimizes the combat experience when dealing with the Nobushi's sword-drawing technique.

4. Reduces the weight of the Nobushi and Kairagi.

5. Increases the time that the Pyro Hypostasis's core is exposed when it launches a Pyro pillar attack.

6. Increases the duration of the Pyro Hypostasis's re-ignition skill, and optimizes the character's lock-on experience of attacking the Fire Seeds during its re-ignition skill. When all the Fire Seeds are extinguished, the Pyro Hypostasis will end its re-ignition skill earlier.

● Others

1. Adds the height limit of Thunderwood's area of effect.

2. Optimizes the judgment condition of Raiden Shogun to enter the "Vision Hunt Decree" battle stage in Archon Quest "Chapter II: Act II - "Stillness, the Sublimation of Shadow."

3. Optimizes the style of the crosshair in Aiming Mode.

4. Adds some prompts for loading screens.

5. Adds new voice auto-play function for the Travel Log.

6. Reduces the load taken up by repeatedly placing certain Furnishings in the same area.

7. Adjusts the Adventure Rank requirement for purchasing the Recipe：Triple-Layered Consommé to Adventure Rank 25 (previously Adventure Rank 40).

〓Bug Fixes〓

● Quests

1. Fixes an issue whereby a certain treasure chest on Jinren Island would abnormally disappear after accepting the World Quest "The Farmer's Treasure."

2. Fixes errors in the description of the completion criteria of the Daily Commission "The Thundering Wilds."

3. Fixes an issue with the World Quest "Gazing Three Thousand Miles Away" whereby there is a small chance that the Place of Interest disappeared, causing the quest to be unable to be completed.

● Domains

1. Fixes an issue in the Domain "Shakkei Pavilion" whereby players could enter abnormally, even though they had not completed certain criteria to unlock the Domain.

2. Fixes an issue in the Domain "Empty Boat of a Thousand Gates" whereby the monster Kairagi: Dancing Thunder may get stuck in a corner and is unable to move.

3. Fixes an issue with the Domain "Momiji-Dyed Court" whereby the barrier might not disappear after failing the challenge.

● Monsters

1. Fixes an issue whereby the Perpetual Mechanical Array may get blocked by Geo Constructs when splitting and is unable to return to the center of the arena normally.

2. Fixes an issue whereby the DMG Absorption of the first shield formed by Abyss Mages, Large Cryo Slimes, and Large Geo Slimes may be incorrect.

3. Fixes an issue whereby the enemy Nobushi and Yoriki Samurai could block attacks from Bows and some Catalysts while knocked down.

4. Fixes an issue whereby there was a probability that characters could not attack the core of the Cryo Regisvine and the Pyro Regisvine from the side.

5. Fixes an issue with the Perpetual Mechanical Array whereby characters may get stuck in the air abnormally when performing Plunging Attacks above it.

6. Fixes an issue whereby the Shatter reaction could incorrectly inflict very high DMG to the Cryo Shields of the monsters Large Cryo Slime and Frostarm Lawachurl and the shields of the monsters Ice Shieldwall Mitachurl and Ice Shield Hilichurl Guard. The problem has been fixed, the amount of DMG dealt is the same as in Version 1.5 and previous versions.

7. Fixes an issue whereby the Pyro Hypostasis would often move outside of the combat radius under certain circumstances.

8. Fixes an issue whereby the DMG dealt by the Fatui Mirror Maiden's Mirror Breaker skill was abnormal. After the fix, the DMG dealt to characters by this skill will be affected by the World Level and the character's DEF.

9. Fixes an issue whereby the Fatui Skirmisher - Hydrogunner Legionnaire could not heal the Fatui Cryo Cicin Mage and the Fatui Mirror Maiden.

● Co-Op

1. Fixes an issue in Co-Op Mode whereby multiple button mappings were displayed on other Travelers' screens when one of the party members was using the Thunder Sphere.

2. Fixes an issue whereby when entering or exiting Co-Op Mode, the DMG absorption of monsters' Elemental Shield would not refresh correctly.

● Characters

1. Fixes an issue whereby when switching to the characters Yoimiya or Sayu before Energy Recharge is full, the character's Vision may glow incorrectly.

2. Fixes an issue with Fischl whereby when summoning Oz, there was a probability that his launched Freikugels could not deal DMG to Ruin Cruisers, Ruin Destroyers, Ruin Defenders, and Ruin Scouts.

3. Fixes an issue whereby when Fischl summons Oz, when the Freikugel that Oz shoots lands on bonfires, DMG values are abnormally displayed.

4. Fixes an issue with Kaedehara Kazuha whereby while moving (sprinting excluded), jumping and using his Elemental Skill in the air would abnormally interrupt his Stamina Regeneration.

5. Fixes an issue with the Traveler (Anemo) whereby after the Passive Talent "Slitting Wind" is triggered, it may deal DMG to the enemy twice.

6. Fixes an issue in the description of the Electro Traveler's Lv. 6 Constellation (the actual effects of the skill in-game work as intended). Original description: "Every 2 Falling Thunder attacks triggered by Bellowing Thunder will increase the DMG dealt by the next Falling Thunder by 100%, and will restore an additional 1 Energy to the current character." Revised description: "Every 2 Falling Thunder attacks triggered by Bellowing Thunder will significantly increase the DMG dealt by the next Falling Thunder, dealing 200% of its original DMG, and will restore an additional 1 Energy to the current character."

7. Fixes an issue with Traveler (Electro) whereby after casting the Elemental Skill "Lightning Blade," it is unable to deal DMG to the weak spots of the bosses Cryo Regisvine and Pyro Regisvine.

8. Fixes an issue in the description details of the Electro Traveler's Elemental Skill whereby the description of the Abundance Amulet was unclear (the actual effects of the skill in-game work as intended). Original description: Energy Regeneration|X." Revised description: "Energy Regeneration|X Per Amulet."

9. Fixes an issue whereby when the Traveler (Geo) triggers the Passive Talent "Frenzied Rockslide," the weapon effect of the weapon Mistsplitter Reforged could not be triggered to gain a stack of Mistsplitter's Emblem.

10. Fixes an issue whereby the Geo Construct summoned by the Geo Traveler's Elemental Burst would not be able to be destroyed by enemies.

11. Fixes an issue with the Traveler whereby when the weapon effect of Mistsplitter Reforged is triggered and the Traveler resonates with another Element at the Statue of The Seven, the Character Details page will incorrectly show the previous Elemental DMG Bonus (the actual effects of the item in-game work as intended).

12. Fixes an issue with Diona whereby when she uses her Elemental Skill "Icy Paws" to generate a shield, if the skill is used again during the effect's duration, there is an issue whereby the Base Shield DMG Absorption will not reset, and only its duration is extended.

13. Fixes an issue with Jean's outfit "Sea Breeze Dandelion" whereby the character's profile picture did not match the actual outfit design.

14. Fixes an issue with Lisa's Lv. 1 Constellation "Infinite Circuit" whereby its effect would be triggered abnormally when tapping on her Elemental Skill.

15. Fixes an issue with Ganyu's Lv. 6 Constellation "The Clement" whereby there was a possibility that the Frostflake Arrow effect might become a Normal Attack effect when the Constellation effect was activated.

16. Fixes an issue whereby Burning reactions triggered by factors external to the character (such as monsters, environment, etc.) could be abnormally affected by the character's Elemental Mastery.

17. Fixes an issue whereby the distance display of the tracked target would be abnormal after the character changed outfits.

18. Fixes an issue whereby there is a small probability that a character's Elemental Energy would not fully recharge when it was almost full.

19. Fixes an issue in Co-Op Mode whereby the displayed position of Kamisato Ayaka's Elemental Burst Frostflake Seki no To in other players' game interface may not match its actual position.

20. Fixes an issue under certain circumstances whereby the characters Zhongli, Xingqiu, and Kazuha may incorrectly deal multiple instances of DMG at a time.

21. Fixes an issue under certain circumstances whereby there is a small chance that Barbara's Melody Loop formed by her Elemental Skill may unexpectedly disappear.

● System

1. Fixes an issue with the Serenitea Pot whereby the Furnishing "Tea Wisp-Clouded White Couch" cannot be placed on a table.

2. Fixes an issue with the Serenitea Pot whereby placing Furnishings would cause the game to crash under certain conditions.

3. Fixes an issue on the map whereby a small island south of Ritou was displayed in the Inazuma region (the island does not actually exist in the game).

4. Fixes an issue whereby the player would be disconnected from the server when trying to dismount the Waverider, and upon reconnecting, if the player is teleported to a location far from the Waverider, they would still be able to control it with the button.

5. Fixes an issue whereby abnormal text letters may appear on the interface filter when viewing the gadget "Seed Dispensary" when using a controller.

6. Fixes an issue with the accepting of requests from residents in Inazuma whereby if a resident asks for help in collecting an item, and the player is disconnected from the server after handing over the item, the player must hand over the item again after reconnecting to the server.

● Audio

1. Fixes some abnormal sound effects for some scenes and environments, and optimizes the musical effects for some scenes.

2. Fixes an issue whereby some characters' Elemental Burst would be interrupted, and optimizes the sound effects of some characters' idle animations.

3. Fixes an issue with abnormal sound effects when playing with multiple keys using the gadget Windsong Lyre.

● Other

1. The description of the 4-Piece Set effect of the Artifact, Shimenawa's Reminiscence is unclear (actual effects of the skill in-game work as intended). Original description: "When casting an Elemental Skill, if the character has 15 or more Energy, they lose 15 Energy and Normal/Charged/ Plunging Attack DMG is increased by 50% for 10s." Revised description: "When casting an Elemental Skill, if the character has 15 or more Energy, they lose 15 Energy and Normal/Charged/ Plunging Attack DMG is increased by 50% for 10s. This effect will not trigger again during that duration."

2. Fixes an issue whereby the server disconnected when using the Thunder Sphere and party setup configuration becomes unavailable after reconnecting to the server.

3. Fixes textual errors and display issues in Spanish, English, Korean, French, Japanese, Thai, Portuguese, Indonesian, and Russian and optimizes the localization of text. (Note: Related in-game functions have not changed. Travelers can view the changes in different languages by going to the Paimon Menu > Settings > Language and changing the Game Language.) Text-related fixes and optimizations in English include:

◆ Optimized the English translation of a book series' name from "Onibudo" to "Onibudou."

◆ Optimized certain instances of a character's name from "Saiku" to "Saiguu."

◆ Optimized instances of a character's name from "Kanade" to "Hibiki."

*This is a work of fiction and is not related to any actual people, events, groups, or organizations.

[baku-bowl]

broke 1,000 followers (the fuck? I don't even make content people), so decided to write up a list of some (but not all, I'll make other lists later) of my favorite Bakugou-centric fic recs. my tastes run towards hurt/comfort, as you'll probably figure from the list. if there are some Baku-centric fics that you've enjoyed that aren't on here, please add them - this is definitely not a complete list of the ones I've read and love, but I'm always up for some recs. <3

fair warning, most of these are wips.

------------------------------------------------

Social Media 101 by WindsChild8178

Part 1: Survival Guide to Fucking Up

[Solely Bakugou’s point of view]

Katsuki Bakugou doesn’t have a gentle bone in his body. He’s aggressive in everything he does and does everything with 100% of his heart in it. After the Sport’s Festival, Katsuki starts to get harassed by strangers for his unheroic demeanor. It starts with letters but it doesn’t end there. The moment Katsuki realizes the harassment has entered dangerous territory and he needs to tell someone, it’s already too late.

Part 2: Post Traumatic Life Disorder

[Point of View opens up to Bakugou, teachers and classmates]

When the Dorms are finally built, everyone is settling in well, but things become tense as people begin to realize something isn’t right with the recently rescued Bakugou.

[Cannon compliant right up to after the License Exam]

hands down my favorite fic in the fandom right now. it’s the one that converted me into a Bakugou lover. if you have any fondness for Bakugou as a character then it’s likely you’ve read this one already, but if not, I can’t recommend it enough. incredibly depressing, but with the hope that comfort is coming soon in the next few chapters.

The Kids Will Be Alright, Eventually by NotWithThatAttitude

Bakugou is spiraling in the aftermath of Kamino and his friends are starting to notice. He's stubborn, aggressively independent, and less than willing to dig into his past, but after a breakdown that ends with a painful secret revealed, he starts to get help.

Whether he likes it or not.

Meanwhile, a new kind of villain threatens an uneasy peace following the loss of Allmight. Whispers build as a new narrative slowly takes shape:

Hero society needs to change.

Feat. Therapy, Dadzawa, best boy Kirishima, dysfunctional families, healing, growing up, and the mortifying ordeal of being known

guys.. the medical accuracy of this fic is just... *chef’s kiss*

I rarely see mental health genuinely handled well in fics, but this one goes above and beyond. kudos to the author for doing such excellent research into psychology, and making the application of it in here not-boring. also, while this one does have abusive!Mitsuki, it’s done in a way that feels realistic, and how I usually will see it occur in real life, rather than just for the hurt/comfort feels.

fair warning, the fic can be incredibly triggering (themes of severe depression, PTSD, panic attacks, rape survival, abuse survival, suicidal ideation/attempted suicide, among other things), so be safe and heed the tw’s if you decide to read. legitimately one of my Top Favorite fics in this fandom.

Lock and Key by autochorystalize

Bakugou made a choked, gravelly noise before croaking out a low, “You can’t be serious.” His fingers ached to blow up everything in the room.

“I’m sorry, young man, but you can’t change reality! This sometimes happens.” Recovery Girl clicked through his file, adding a new symbol in a previously empty slot.

- - -

A pair of eyes discreetly locked on to an explosive blond plowing his way forward, parting people in his path. He recognized the kid, of course. Anyone in the underbelly of society would recognize him, after the publicity of both UA’s Sports Festival and the events leading up to All Might’s fall. The uniform he was wearing cast away any doubts about the young man’s identity.

It was a bit of a surprise that the little firecracker presented as an omega.

- - - - - - - - -

Or: there are certain types of evil that seemed too distant, archaic violations and perversions that would never actually threaten bright-eyed heroes-in-training in the clean, modern world...but sometimes those evils aren't as distant as one might think.

remember when I said that I love a/b/o fics that are full of plot and world-building and gender-induced tension? that’s this one. the OC’s are fabulous and you love to hate ‘em. also, it’s the fic that made me fall head-over-heels for the TodoBaku dynamic, so it’s got a special place in my cold, dead heart. 

be warned, there are rather explicit non-con scenes between an adult (OC) and a minor (Bakugou) in this one, but the author warns for them in advance, and you could likely skip those parts without missing too much if you need to.

Never and Always, Eventually by Wawa_Boonliang

"Katsuki can remember the exact moment that he and Deku…that he and Midoriya Izuku became friends. He can also remember the moment he and Izuku became fierce rivals, a time when they were almost enemies.

However, what he remembers most clearly about their relationship is the moment that they moved passed rivals and became something more close than mere friends. Something more like brotherhood, something forged in fire and secured in the middle of a battlefield or in the midst of natural disaster where the number of the dead was climbing ever higher. And then it was torn from him."

Katsuki is given a second chance. A chance to save everyone. A chance to change everything.

But should he?

y’all. I’m a slutty, slutty whore for time travel fics. a time travel fic with autistic!coded Bakugou? it was love at first read.

Lessons Learned by Sif (Rosae)

Rather than the police station, Katsuki's friends bring him to a hospital after rescuing him from the villains. His wounds were minor, but it didn't make having them treated any less important. As it would so happen, Best Jeanist was also brought to this hospital after the attack.

Sometimes, small choices have a big impact on how a story plays out.

classic Bakugou hurt/comfort. this fic opened me up to the potential that could be a genuinely good Best Jeanist & Katsuki mentor-mentee relationship, and I kind of dig it and search ravenously for it in other fics now. I’m also a huge fan of the behind-the-scences Pro Hero Chat group.

Slope by sunfleurmoon

“I’m not a hero. Or a good person,” Katsuki says, giving Aizawa a pointed look, “So leave me alone. I don’t care about the League or UA, or you—” The two years he’s been away have been fine, more than fine, fucking fantastic actually if you ignore the bi-monthly near-death experiences. He doesn’t need this place. He doesn’t miss this place.

And yet, longing, a childish desire to tear up, or maybe blow something to bits, they all twist in his chest like a band of traitors regardless. “—I just want to go home.”

Or: the one where Katsuki and Izuku fail the first term exam, Aizawa discovers their pasts, and Katsuki is booted from UA. Featuring questionable descriptions of villain organizations, a slightly illegal moving shop, and your favorite emotionally constipated badass in distress with a newly discovered penchant for collecting strays.

paaaaaaiiiiiiiin. the hurt is ALIVE in this one. lots of tortured, angsty exploding child goodness. the OC’s are excellently crafted, and the Bakugou & Eri relationship? beautiful. definitely deserves a read.

Ground Zero by WindsChild8178

In the wake of Kamino, Katsuki is tested more than anyone could imagine. Bound by a villain’s quirk to keep his silence or die, he lives each day knowing it might very well be his last. He continues to work towards becoming a hero, keeping his secret from his classmates and teachers, focusing on making it through each day and trying not to allow the panic or depression to get the best of him. When the villain finally corners him with demands in exchange for his life, there is really only one answer Katsuki Bakugou can give.

honestly don't know which I want updated more - social media 101 or ground zero. this author's fics are amazing, and I really wasn't expecting the twist in this one. can't wait for windschild to come back to this fic some day.

The Defect by LadyGreenFrisbee

"Why do you want to win the Sports Festival so badly?" 

Because I want to see if the defect could usurp the masterpiece.

(In which Endeavor holds a terrible secret and Bakugo has to suffer since childhood for it.)

a great concept, and I adore the shouto and Katsuki sibling interaction here. hoping the author will come back to this one some day.

A Name That You'll Remember by Heronfem

Kirishima Eijirou is a Hero. Bakugou Katsuki... is not. Trapped in his toxic workplace and increasingly desperate to get out, Red Riot's days are only brightened by a new villain known as Caution, who's not exactly villainous and keeps accidentally doing good deeds. But when a real villain appears, a threat from the past that demands that Red Riot make the ultimate sacrifice to keep the public safe, Bakugou is forced into saving the day... and eventually, Red Riot himself.

sob story good guy villains are my weakness, this fic is a gem, and I'd kill for the sequel.

Our Hero by AnonymousTwit

He felt everything jerk to the side and throw his balance off before he saw anything, dust clouding his vision and irritating his lungs as the earth itself opened up to swallow them whole. For a single moment, in a millisecond's time, his wild eyes locked with Raccoon Eyes', hers alight with fear and adrenaline-fueled desperation. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that it was the first time she'd looked at him with something other than long-deserved hatred in days.

And then he was free falling.

Or

After a particularly nasty encounter between childhood friends, the class learns about Bakugou and Midoriya's dark history and practically ostracizes Bakugou while trying to defend Midoriya. An earthquake during an outing has all sides regretting their decisions.

just fucking tear apart my self-sacrificing faves in every way imaginable while their loved ones watch on in terror. 💖🥰💖 this one is heavy on the Bakusquad and Class-1A feels, and VERY heavy on the Mina & Bakugou relationship (platonic).

Running back the tape, watching it replay by Faralyne

For someone ripped from their time, ripped from the few but strong relationships built by time and personal development, by self-reflection and swallowed pride, ripped from the one thing that made him feel worthwhile and needed and put-together, and forced to forge everything over again—Katsuki thinks he is handling it pretty fucking well.

Or

A villain’s quirk sends a 29-year-old Bakugou back in time to his middle school days.

am I a sucker for time travel? yes. am I a sucker for vigilante!bakugou? also yes. am I a sucker for this fic? literally refreshing the page in wait for an update as we speak.

Liability by sandelf

After All-Might dies rescuing Bakugou from the League, Bakugou is determined to prove it wasn't for nothing.

But the world is against him, his grief is overwhelming, and his stability is splitting at the edges.

very self-indulgent bakugou angst. tw for harassment, severe depression, and suicidality.

Special Mentions:

How To Win The Sport Festival: A Step By Step Guide by mhwright

Short re-imagining of the Sports Festival Arc if Shinso had planned a little better and worked a little harder to win the Sports Festival and if the match-ups had been slightly different. Self-indulgent fic of watching him succeed.

this is completely Shinsou-centric, not Bakugou-centric, but I love and adore it and am dying for a sequel. Shinsou is Best Boy here and you'll be rooting for him the whole time.

[nightingaelic]

Could the companions react to a courier becoming more and more corrupt the more power they gain? kind of like, taking mr. house's place but more evil and dictator-like.

TW: Massacre

Whispers on the day of the Second Battle of Hoover Dam turned to cheers pretty quickly when the news reached the city: Victory, a Legion repelled, and the NCR sent back to the coast. There were free rounds of drinks in the casinos for tourists, and claims to be made by any of the smaller factions that had been holding back due to the presence of the Mojave's largest players. No more House meant no more contracts to follow, and the Three Families began plotting their takeovers in earnest. No more NCR meant the remaining Fiends were emboldened, gleefully attacking caravans, lone travelers and retreating soldiers with abandon. No more Legion meant the weight of impending doom had been lifted, and those with pure and bitter souls alike began to dream of a future where they prospered.

Rebellion was crushed fairly quickly by the courier's new army of upgraded Securitrons, a large contingent of which was sent to the Strip to keep order and squash any rumblings of rebellion. Any open anarchy was short-lived, and the roulette wheels of New Vegas quickly went back to spinning. At the center of this new independence sat the courier, suddenly buried under a slew of responsibilities that they had not anticipated. They had broken House's tyranny, yes, driven back the hungry Bull and Bear from the door, but now there was an influx of refugees in the area from all sides in need of food, care and housing, and clashes over ideals and resources were frequent. It made sense, of course, to send the Securitrons to break apart the Fiends and secure the roads. No one mourned their loss. And when it was discovered that the White Glove Society had taken advantage of the chaos to kidnap some people to be cooked and eaten, the Mojave was unsurprised to see them stamped out for their crimes, even if the delicacies of the Gourmand were sorely missed.

No matter how many robots they sent to help the Followers of the Apocalypse maintain order at the Old Mormon Fort though, fights always broke out over supplies. Really, it was only a matter of time before the Securitrons opened fire on a group of displaced NCR settlers after they threw one rock too many at the peacekeepers. And when the King protested this misuse of power, well, there was really only one thing to do.

Arcade Gannon: After the Securitrons' massacre at the Old Mormon Fort, Arcade silently helped the Followers of the Apocalypse bury the dead and tend to the wounded. The next time the courier sent for him to report on the Followers' progress, he refused to come. After dismissing a second and third Securitron messenger, the courier finally made an appearance at the fort themselves, flanked by four robots. The people of Freeside shrank back in their presence, but Arcade stood firm in the fort's yard, arms crossed. "Look who deigns to visit the common folk," he said sarcastically.

The courier stepped forward from within their guard, frowning. "You won't answer my summons. What's wrong?"

"What's... what's wrong?!?" Arcade fumed. "You killed 17 of our patients and injured 45 more, and you have the gall to stand there and ask me what's wrong? Are you completely brain-dead?"

"Arcade..."

"And now the School of Impersonation's been burned to the ground and the King's on the run," Arcade went on, counting the offenses off on his fingers. "Really, we ought to give you an award or something, this is by far the quickest you've fucked up a job since you let Benny steal the platinum chip and got shot in the head."

"You wanted this!" the courier threw back at him, gesturing wildly at the ruins around them. "Independence! It was your idea!"

"Independence doesn't mean filling anyone who disagrees with you with lead!" Arcade shouted. He tossed his clipboard on the ground between them. "I can't do this. I can't clean up your messes if you're just going to solve everything with Securitrons. God, you're worse than House ever was."

Craig Boone: When Boone heard the news about the refugees and how they died screaming at the hands of happy-faced robots, he packed his things and disappeared. He'd been thinking about it for a while, but it was the final push he needed to put New Vegas behind him and set out on the road looking for work. He found some of it in Novac, after a dressing-down from Manny and a sorrowful shake of the head from Ranger Andy. Ada Strauss needed help moving medical supplies to Goodsprings, and he had open eyes and a gun.

Work on the road led him to a variety of new locales, each more unsavory than the last. Every bar had liquor now, as caps and NCR dollars flowed into the region unchecked. With the alcohol came talk, less hushed than it used to be, and dangerous ideas that Boone eventually stopped listening to and started participating in. It started innocently enough. Clear out a fire gecko den here, get rid of some raiders over there. But the pit in Boone's stomach couldn't be satisfied, and eventually he dove headfirst into settling everything with his rifle: Outstanding NCR bounties, brahmin baron land disputes, anyone with a mean look in their eye and a hand on their weapon. He was good at one thing, and one thing only, so he did it. People started to whisper when he walked into establishments, and he went back to ignoring the talk.

It was only a matter of time before somebody approached him with a stack of bills and a name he recognized. Boone took a beat to think before nodding and pocketing the money. He re-entered Sin City, paid for a room at Gomorrah for one night and snuck onto the roof sometime in the early hours of the morning. The sun was rising when the courier finally stepped outside the Lucky 38, and Boone was the last thing they never saw.

Lily Bowen: The stories Lily heard about her surrogate grandchild didn't make any sense. Her pumpkin, ordering civilians be rounded up like bighorners? Surely it wasn't true. She retreated further into herself, sang little songs more often than she spoke, and only gave the courier a dreamy, loving look if they tried to talk to her.

"She's lost touch with reality completely," Doc Henry said grimly, when they took a break from policing the city to bring her to Jacobstown for a check-up. "I'd wager she hasn't been taking her medication at all. She's chosen to live in the past, even if it's tearing her mind apart."

"Fix this," the courier demanded, piling caps on the table of the clinic. "There has to be some kind of procedure, something... I can build this place up, make Jacobstown a hub like Goodsprings and Novac, I can-"

The doctor stopped them. "There's nothing we can do. Even if we put her back on pills, she's too far gone to reverse the damage."

"Don't say that!" The courier rushed to Lily's side, took her hands in theirs. "Lily, talk to me. You need to remember. Please, just..."

Lily smiled down at them sadly. "Remember."

Something passed between them, and the courier's shoulders sagged. "What should I do?" they asked quietly.

"Make her comfortable," Doc Henry suggested.

And the courier did. Caps rolled into Jacobstown, where Lily spent the rest of her days in comfort at the ski lodge, feeding the brahmin. Even as the rest of the Mojave grew to fear the one seated above New Vegas, the little settlement of super mutants never felt the same wrath, even after Lily passed away in her sleep with her grandchildren's- and the courier's- name on her lips.

Raul Alfonso Tejada: Raul had slipped away from New Vegas early on after the second battle at the dam. Cities had called to him once, but now they were too fast-paced for his liking, and walking down the Strip made him feel like he was walking through a gunpowder magazine with a lit match. He'd settled down in Westside and opened a repair shop down the street from the co-op, and he kept an ear to the radio to listen for the courier's latest exploits.

After the reports came through on the White Glove Society's eviction, he sat down and wrote a letter to the courier. He finally thanked them for his rescue, so long ago, and he put to word his concerns about the little oasis he lived on the edges of. Cuídate, he wrote, or you'll wind up just like the man you replaced. Gobernar es prever.

He sent the message with a Mojave Express courier and waited, but he never received anything back. After a while Mr. New Vegas brought nothing but bad news, so one dry day in October, Raul switched the radio off. He left the Mojave for good that week, with his old guns and a new name. And though the courier finally received his letter after the Mojave Express messenger's remains and mail bag were discovered in an abandoned building outside Freeside, though they sent robot after robot to scour the wasteland for him, their every effort was in vain.

Rose of Sharon Cassidy: As soon as Cass caught wind of what the courier had done, she was in the wind. She'd played her part in bringing them to power, but she would never have agreed to do so in the first place if she'd known what they'd do with it. It confused her, especially after what they'd been through together with the Van Graffs and the Crimson Caravan: Shouldn't they have learned their lesson about stepping all over others?

When Cass was confused, she drank. Well, when she was feeling anything, she drank, but this time felt different. She kept going over what she'd done, conversations she'd had with them, anything that might point toward them turning out the same way as House. Worse, if the latest stories she'd heard had even a grain of truth in them. Was there something she should've, could've done?

She never found anything, and before long she was back on the west coast, boots in NCR sand, where things made sense again. Though she received more than a few invitations to come back to the Mojave from happy-faced robot messengers, Cass never went.

Veronica Santangelo: The temporary truce between the Brotherhood of Steel and the NCR held, even as the latter was pushed out of the Mojave, but Veronica couldn't help but feel strange about the whole ordeal. She'd thought maybe an independent New Vegas would bring new opportunities for her chapter, maybe open their eyes to the way they had stagnated in their ideals and mission. Instead, mass abandonment of NCR outposts meant wide-open sites with salvageable tech, and her brothers and sisters fell right back into their hoarding tendencies. And after what happened at the Old Mormon Fort, all Veronica could do was oscillate between the two, the courier she'd bet her livelihood on and the family she couldn't bring herself to leave.

The Brotherhood chapter's renewed interest in tech acquisition put them at odds with the new regime on the Strip, and eventually the fight came to Veronica's doorstep. She answered the courier's summons when it came, arrived at the Lucky 38 wearing her old traveling robes and bearing a satchel full of old world books she had scavenged from libraries. The courier eyed the books with a little misgiving. "Not going to turn into Caesar on me, are you?" they asked.

"No," Veronica replied. "But you might. I just brought you some reading material."

"Macbeth, The Letters of Lord Acton, Mack... mock..."

"Macchiavelli." Veronica shrugged. "Might be worth your time."

ED-E: With their hands full in the city and with more than a few people gunning for them, the courier began insisting that ED-E remain in the Lucky 38 for its own safety. ED-E obeyed, but grew lonely wandering the halls of the empty casino. Yes Man tried to take the little bot under his wing, but couldn't understand its concern about the situation.

"I know my optimism is pre-programmed, but you should try it sometime!" Yes Man insisted, his face flickering on the penthouse's giant computer screens. "All your worries just melt away, and you have no choice but to look on the bright side! I could try to integrate you into my own system if you're not sure how to do it!"

ED-E declined.

Rex: The day the Securitrons clashed with the Kings, Rex awoke from a nap with a sharp pain in his side and an overwhelming sense of foreboding. He sniffed the air in the penthouse of the Lucky 38, trying to pinpoint the source of the feeling, and found the courier slumped over in a chair in the cocktail lounge, nursing a bottle of bourbon.

They waved off his attempts to inspect them. "Go away, Rex. Not today."

Rex whined, and they sighed and took another swallow of liquor. "I'm sorry," they said, though it wasn't clear what for.

[ashc-art]

A sketch dump/backstory to Varla! Numbered for your convenience.

TW: Loss, experimentation, trauma, death.

This is varla when she was around 6-7 years old. Lived in the Fissures since she was a baby since her parents moved from bilgewater to the undercity. So far, she had a fairly decent childhood; her parents worked hard and taught her some skills as best they could. Her mother was a doctress in basic medicine and treatment, something varla admired and so copied and learned from her mother, playing doctor on her only doll. She was overall an empathic and kind child who comforts others as best a child could.

An accident happened that resulted in her losing her home and her parents. (Hadn't decided between an accident on Piltover's part via dropping sensitive material or a cave in underneath via rouge explosives.) One of the few survivors. She also had to make a decision: Live in the streets, or try to learn medicine and become a healer via the teachings of 'The man in the caves'

Varla decided to find Signed in the caves and learn medicine and treatment, meaning in this version, Varla was his first assistant. Despite the horrific experiments and casualties that would rightly scare away even the most strongwilled, Varla chose to stay, numbing her own emotions to continue working. Signed also, but rarely, experimented on Varla to help suppress her physical and emotional pain and give her strength via a prototype of something called shimmer, in exchange for lessons and providing food and shelter.

Varla completed her lessons (Medicine and training usually take 8-10 years of learning) and is let out on the streets. But Varla became so numb and traumatized( and the prototype of shimmer running through her veins) that she was basically a walking zombie, barely blinking when injured. Thankfully, a woman named Miriam found Varla walking around with a severe wound that varla BARELY acknowledge and treated her and gave her food. Miram then decided to keep Varla to help her adjust to her surroundings and saw the potential varla had for her knowledge of medicine.

Varla slowly but steadily healed and regained her senses and emotions, showing the compassion and kindness she had to suppress all those years. This is about a year or two into her job at the local hospital, being under the care of Miriam. A few years later, she would meet the leaders of the children of Zaun, a rebel group that wants the undercity to become an independent nation.