#twenty pages in i'd already written an essay

[madraleen]

Bungo Stray Dogs - Kafka Asagiri/Sango Harukawa Vol. 11-12: Dazai and The Nurse - A Commentary (*anime spoilers and manga spoilers up to ch.114)

-i do like lucy

-oi oi oi, "there's a way to transfer skills between bodies" and a "skill user who manipulates shadows" knows how to do it? oi, wait.

-oh right, what's grape of wrath doing these days i wonder. in manga real-time these things take place in a short time span, but irl time it feels like ages

-oh yes, poe isn't with the guild anymore.

-atsushi is so sweet and kind and empathetic, but he has NO CHILL, i love that about him

-i want to grab your little hand and squeeze it, dazai-chan

-ah yes. this is where dazai gets shot and this is where i started fuming in the anime season. I AM SO ANGRY AT THIS EVENT! which is a good thing for the narrative, but I AM SO ANGRY! WE DO NOT INJURE DAZAI! HE'S THE *ONE* MAN THAT WE CAN'T FIX, WE DO NOT INJURE DAZAI, WE DO NOT-

-something i've noticed btw, and i think it might be due to the nature of the anime vs the manga timeline and arguably can't be helped, is that the suicidal-maniac part of dazai is much more sparse in the manga. in the anime, it feels like he mentions it way more often.

-you know what kind of antagonist dazai needs -and ranpo, and mori for that matter- after we're done with fyodor? someone genuinely layperson and chaotic. someone who doesn't think 500 steps ahead, someone who acts completely on a whim and has no attachments or lofty goals, someone so random that they simply cannot read them because the possibilities are endless. i'm talking csm denji times one thousand.

-and we still don't know fyodor's actual goal after eliminating the skill users and getting the book. we know fukuchi's plan, but that's not all, surely. we're so not done with this bitch yet.

-i miss hearing their voices. the anime made me more excited to read the manga, the manga's making me more excited to rewatch the anime, and both are making me more excited to get to the spin-offs and such, this is great.

-fukuzawa, i need you to remember that your black sheep son willingly got himself shot to glean information for your agency's sake. alright? I NEED YOU TO REMEMBER THAT, FUKUZAWA! *shakes fist*

-what does "a world free of sin" even mean, fyodor, what do you want! free of skill users is obvious, but sin? are we talking brainwashing, kira cult, what are we talking about?

-atsushi destroyed his clothes before we've even gotten into the story of v12, he had a head start beginning from the cover smh

-ranpo is devastated with fukuzawa in the hospital, my heart. no offense, but fucking fyodor traumatized me in this arc, what with dazai being shot and the whole fukuzawa-mori thing and how it destroyed everyone. you can't blame me that it took a long long while for me to go from "i hate this guy" to "i hate this guy but in a good way."

-SAY IT ALOUD, KUNIKIDA-SAN, REMIND EVERYONE HOW DAZAI IS PART OF THE AGENCY, DAMN!

-this is so clearly a "we really can't have dazai around for this or else the conflict will be over in two minutes" injury.

-dude, atsushi doesn't open doors, he slams doors open, habitually

-CHUUYA IS SO PRETTY

-the way that women aren't sexualized.

-chuuya i want to pinch your little chiwawa cheeks you're so pretty

-on the one hand, the manga story is 100% streamlined compared to the anime, where sometimes i had Thoughts on the plot/focus of the story. on the other hand, i wonder, if i DIDN'T know what backstory i know because of the anime, if i were manga-only, would i feel the lack of something that i couldn't pinpoint, or would i get the same enjoyment even without it?

-okay but WHO are "the rats in the house of the dead," HAVE WE MET THEM

-seriously, no one jumps to "i'll kill" as fast as tanizaki, just lend him to the port mafia and let him have his semi-dark arc. he's so cool when he's being lethal. give him his questionable era, his moment to shine.

-wth is that grin when you're fighting kyouka, aku-kun, put that back where it came from

-IT IS SUCH A BIG MOMENT when aku-kun tells kyouka that he's glad for her that she doesn't yearn death anymore :')

-is it just me or is mori prettier in the manga than in the anime? fukuzawa too, for that matter.

-oh, dazai's clenching his fist when he says "if it weren't for my nullifying skill, i could've had yosano-sensei heal me and join in, but..." oh my heart, he truly wants to be with them. there’s no other reason to express this thought in this kind of visual than to show genuine emotion

-i love dazai so much though :')

-THE FUCK DID YOU DO WITH THAT NURSE, DAZAI?! not fucked her surely, you're injured, but THE FUCK DID YOU DO WITH THE NURSE THAT MADE YOU A '-SAMA'?! tbf, knowing dazai, it's just as likely if not more than likely that he played therapist for her or something. 'cause this is the third time a "woman misunderstanding" is happening in the manga. first you think he's flirting with higuchi, but no actually, he's bugging her. then you think he had sex with kouyou, but no actually, he just talked to her. so it's quite possible that it's a case of "you think he fucked the nurse, but actually he just lent her a shoulder to cry on." and off-manga timeline, at least in the anime, the same thing happened with sasaki, it was all "dazai did WHAT with sasaki?" and the answer was "in fact, he did absolutely nothing." i find it funny that THIS, of all things, is one of bsd's great unanswered questions though, and that there is canonical events that could very well support the "actually no, it wasn't sexual" to what looks like a sexual gag. you could argue that the manga makes a point of pointing out that even though sexual advances for personal gain would be expected from someone like dazai, it is in fact not something that dazai does (and no, chuuya’s “womanizer” comment from when he knew dazai four years ago doesn’t count). although. if we were ever given an answer, i believe it would be far sillier than anything we could imagine. like, they sing karaoke, or he shares his medicine with her and she gets high, he shows her how to beat that really hard mobile game, something utterly, completely stupid.

-fukuzawa/mori vs dazai/chuuya vs atsushi/akutagawa battle, who wins, go! i say dazai/chuuya.

-chonky natsume cat is chonky

-fukuzawa's "child of my own to take care of" is ranpo, isn’t it? IT IS, THAT’S SO CUTE

-okay, but now having read a bit more about the real oogai mori and vita sexualis i want to know more about mori-san’s skill. is elise the general concept of a cute and spoiled childhood that he himself didn’t have, is he projecting sexual desires that he won’t act on through elise, is this the childhood he wanted as in he wanted to be elise, what is it, let’s talk.

[james-a-b]

the TATINOF experience

ok so. i've wanted to make a post about this for a While now; i feel like a lot of people don't really understand or appreciate how unprecedented TATINOF really was, and for me, watching it in Seattle in 2016, it was the best day of my life.

So here we go.

(I've put the rest below a readmore bc this is an 18 paragraph post lmao)

On March 26th, 2015, Dan and Phil revealed TABINOF via a trailer set in the distant future. The book itself was not entirely unprecedented- other youtubers had written and were writing books, but for the most part (at the time) these were either fictional works or serious biographies; TABINOF was a time capsule of Dan and Phil's youtube brand, and a glimpse into parts of their lives we hadn't seen yet. (For example; Phil's hamster breeding adventures) But tucked into the pages of the book in the trailer were a pair of tickets to The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire. This was insane. No youtuber had ever gone on tour before, save perhaps for a few musicians; no one had done a stage show. No one knew what to expect.

And, as they asked the audience of each show not to share spoilers, most of us went on not knowing what to expect until we'd seen it ourselves.

I saw the show on June 18th, 2016, near the end of the US leg of the tour. I went in knowing three things:

There were set ways in which we the audience could participate: there was Crafty Corner, Weird Kid, Phone Support Hotline, and a 7 Second Challenge submission box. (I submitted art to Crafty Corner, and I was thrilled just knowing they'd see it)

The set was a giant microwave. What this meant, I could not imagine.

Everyone who'd already seen the show said it was incredible.

I remember having had a dream that I was at the show like a week before it actually happened, and I woke up just as the show was about to start in the dream because my brain couldn't come up with anything they might do onstage lmao.

I can't even begin to put into words how incredible the atmosphere was before the show even started. Phannies were lined up for two blocks outside the theatre, and I'd never felt so welcome anywhere in my life. The doors opened. I believe Cornelia was working the merch stand pre-show, though I don't remember for sure- I got a signed copy of TABINOF and then I took my seat.

The set was incredible, and the pre-show playlist was amazing. Everyone sang along to every song, and when Troye Sivan's Wild came on, everyone screamed. Seriously, if you've never looked at the pre-show playlist for TATINOF you should. Finally, All Star by Smash Mouth played. Everyone was singing along, and laughing because of course Dan put that in there, and then, halfway through the song, the music stops and the lights go out. Everyone screamed, and the opening sequence began to play on the microwave. I understand why they opted to edit that directly into the beginning of the recording, because it would've been a little difficult to see in the recording otherwise, but at the same time it hit so much better when it played directly on the microwave.

And then they came out on stage, and they were so much more awkward than I expected. Dan kept squatting slightly, like he was trying to be shorter, and Phil moved almost like a marionette. They said their hellos, and then they addressed the microwave being there, and the plot started to become apparent- Phil had microwaved his laptop.

I'm not going to get into too much detail on every bit of the show, because I've already written about eight paragraphs and I could write about twenty more going play-by-play through every aspect of the show, but that's not the point of this essay, so I'll attempt to keep things at least a little shorter than that.

The first truly unprecedented thing was when Dan said they were "having a bit of a domestic" when Phil said he couldn't get off the lion. This was the very first time they'd come anywhere near addressing the elephant in the room (their relationship) publicly since the V-day vid. Obviously, compared to the things they've said in 2024 (we've never fucked on youtube, etcetera), "we're having a bit of a domestic" is incredibly tame, but this was huge. Everyone screamed.

And then, shortly after, Phil started singing, and everyone screamed much louder. They did little songs all the time in baking videos or while playing the sims, but this was different. This was on stage, with a spotlight and everything. It was not a surprise to me when Dan cut Phil off; I thought the song was for sure a joke, that there was no way they'd come back to it (spoiler alert, they did).

And then there was the 7 Second Challenge bit, and Reasons Why Phil Was A Weird Kid, and Uncle Dan's Phone Support Hotline, and the PINOF 75 bit. And it was all weird and crazy and amazing. But the next thing I really want to focus on is Fanfiction Live.

Fanfiction Live was... absolutely insane. My show chose cowboys on the moon, and the script they wrote for it was.... so undeniably gay? Like. "Should Phil draw Dan like a French girl"? Are you kidding? This really happened???? They wrote this in 2015. Four years before they came out. This was so far beyond unprecedented. This was unthinkable.

And then, immediately following this insanity, they began Smashing Plates and then they were like "IT'S DIL" and by this point i was hoarse from screaming but when I tell you I screamed...

And then Dil said all those things about Dan feeling like nothing he did was worth anything, but that it meant a lot to Dil and to the audience, and that Phil felt like he had to change who he was to please others but that we appreciated him for who he is... I melted. It was a moment of such genuine honesty, and they'd saved my life, and I loved them so, so much.

And then Phil started singing again, and Dan didn't stop him, and Dan started singing too, and the song was so them, ironic yet genuine, and I was out of my mind because I couldn't believe they were Singing On Stage like that, like, they were youtubers. Not professional singers. No one asked or expected them to go that far. But they did it.

it was the best day of my life.

[13docwriting]

NOTE: this post was made on November 26th, 2023, before the 60th specials aired. I wasn't going to post it but due to the recent episodes, I feel it really fits. It's me, more than a year after the Power of the Doctor! As time moves on and more spoilers / interviews / trailers / content comes out for the 60th (and then some), my already limited hope continues to dwindle for human kindness. Why? Here's my twenty page essay down below! (I'm not kidding, it's 20 pages)

The Thirteenth Doctor has been a life changer for me, as many could tell from my username. Chibnall's series came to me in the midst of the pandemic and a very hard time in my life. Ironically, my motivation for watching DW once again after more than a four year hiatus of the show was actually the idea of the Doctor being a woman. My reason to stay, however, was the stories we received. I've lived through the Chibnall and Jodie bashing on this hell-site in real time. I've read downright nasty comments on any/all of Doctor Who's social media posts about thirteen's series. I've seen people call each other horrible names for simply liking one of the Thirteenth Doctor's episodes... And now, as her series has ended a year ago, I'm even more saddened to see her era get pushed to the side as if to be forgotten. Nobody came at me with the whole "it's not because of Chibnall/Jodie's era! DW just needed a reboot!" I would have agreed! I would have agreed that a fresh coat of paint would have helped DW gain some more traction, especially in the states! The more people who watch DW, the better! But the change RTD is presenting and the continued changes come at the cost of dealing with bullies online and defending something I love with all my heart.

I'd like to remind everyone that Chris Chibnall did not just barge his way into Doctor Who. He has written episodes for DW for a while before he took over as showrunner. Tenth Doctor: 42 Eleventh Doctor: The Hunger Earth, Cold Blood, Pond Life, Dinosaurs in a Spaceship, the Power of Three. Recognize some of those titles? Yeah, even when I was a wee lass, those were some of the best episodes DW had ever done. "42" scared the crap out of me in the best way, "Dinosaurs in Spaceship" had me smiling ear to ear, etc. etc.

Don't just take my word for it, read some of the reviews for those episodes. They are highly positive if not still mid-range.

That being said, I have a hard time believing that every single one of Jodie's episodes have been awful. And, if not outright stated as awful, certainly below every single nuwho Doctor.

Was there some not-so-great episodes? Yeah, of course! But every Doctor has had some questionable episodes. With a show that has a new plot nearly every episode, you're going to have some misses! My point being... Chibnall CAN write good episodes and, with that being said... Why HAS Thirteen's era been considered one of the worsts? Well, I think it's because, as always, people hate change. We've just come off of Twelve's era which was rooted in deep and meaningful conversations with a underlying of, dare I say it, Time Lord Victorious. Twelve holds a special place in my heart for the amount of care he showed through his era. From the Twelve's darkest moments, Thirteen is born. Thirteen is a ray of sunshine that holds hope in the palm of her hand. She's happy, bubbly, and ready to smile. She wants the universe and everything it has to offer and she's ready to travel the stars again.

Chibnall introduces a series of stories that are rooted in that hope. There's kindness at every turn, there's compassion, there's empathy... Is that the reason people hate her era? No. A new Doctor has never stopped anyone from getting back into the show. So, it's the writing, you say? I have one thing to say to that: Prove it. Point me in the direction of bad writing without ONCE mentioning the word "woke". If you found Jodie's era to be preachy, perhaps there's a reason that you take offense to it. DW has always been a progressive show and it will forever stay that way. And I am the first one to admit that, again, there are weak episodes. There IS some bad writing, but the hate that Jodie's ENTIRE era gets, I feel, is unjustified. So, if not writing, must be the acting! Where? When? I had no problem watching Jodie Whittaker be the Doctor. She's quirky and fun and eccentric... She has a thousand different emotions on her face at one time. Any actor that knows how much a smile can hide is a talented one. Besides that, her work on Broadchurch and her newer works (One Night, Time) have some raving reviews. She clearly has talent. So, not the acting or writing... Companions, then? Why? "The fam" had all of their moments to shine. I won't say their character arcs were perfect, especially for Ryan and Graham, but they did have their own arcs. Was it the fact that there were three totally separate companions at once? Was it just too big a job? I can't answer that one. I personally felt that they all got a good ending, one that makes sense and that isn't tragic for the sake of tragedy. This my be my opinion piece, but I liked having multiple companions that had their own little storyline, but that's MY opinion and I'm fine with someone calling me out on that. Let's go really basic... It's because the Doctor isn't meant to be woman, right? Oh, so, the Master can be a woman and that's totally fine, but when it's the Doctor... Woman can be villains but they can't be the main protagonist, right? I didn't see people up and arms over Missy, why was Thirteen so different? I remember seeing her very first introduction trailer and having people immediately be upset by the gender change. Well, forget my opinions, let's look at the statistics and viewings numbers, right?

HOW ABOUT NO. Remember the writing strike that just ended? Remember how regular cable has been nearly done with? Remember how writers are fighting to earn something for streaming services? We can't rely on normal/live views while a literal pandemic was happening, while streaming has become the norm, while watching online for free has existed for so long... Views have CHANGED. The way people consume media has changed, especially during the pandemic. Now, for an excuse... The pandemic happened. It changed how people were filming, it changed how close people could get to one another in terms of acting, it changed filming times and locations. I can't confirm, but I know that the Flux storyline was cut by two whole episodes, which could be the reason a lot of people felt disappointed by the end of the Flux. Chibnall and Thirteen's era had so many real-life obstacles to overcome that past era's did not have to deal with.

I'm tired, alright? I'm tired of defending my love for a character. And to have that love be spat out in the form of a different writer by.... 1. Discarding the Thirteenth Doctor's iconic outfit after a regeneration for the first time ever (under the guise of calling it "drag" if Tennant was to wear her outfit even after a male co-star had just worn it.) 2. Introducing a very popular Doctor back into the show ("to gain views") 3. Doing a soft reboot by calling the new season "season 1" (could be Disney's fault, but I'm not entirely sure of that fact) Every day I read another article about how RTD is "saving" Doctor who when I myself have been saved by the Doctor already. I didn't ever need to justify my love of a character until today.

[vanerespira]

I say go, go, go.

Hi, there. It has been a long while since I've written anything at all.

That's an exaggeration, of course. I've written short essays, even shorter reviews, IG posts, legal papers, text messages, more affirmations than I can count, and plenty of quotes, straight from all the books I'd read these past years.

I have also filled many, many pages journaling. Picking a subject and then dumping everything I felt and thought about it onto paper, usually in quick and messy handwriting, and a mix of languages because my brain couldn't just pick one. It still can't, honestly.

But I haven't been writing like I used to. And by that I mean... Like when I was a teenager. When any idea needed to be written. When every song was a fanfic, every event something to be included in a fictional character's life to make them look more believable. When my dream was to be a writer so I behaved like I thought one would.

I wrote a lot back in 2016, though, when I was well in my twenties. I remember the feelings that drove me to sit behind my small, wooden desk (the same one I had had since I was 7 years old) and just write. Whatever I was creating was fine (multitudes of fanfics; I'm still not as imaginative as I used to be), and it felt right to write about it. It was familiar and uncomfortable in an uncomfortable way.

Those feelings can be summarized in a sentence: "You either write or you are never going to find out what you're really feeling/thinking/needing." That's pretty much it. Because feelings, my friends... those are confusing. Especially for us, the people that live so much in our heads that we can't differentiate between anxiety and excitement, between sadness and boredom, between emptiness and chaos.

(To be honest, I had a way easier time recognizing that writing was going to help me out thanks to my 14-year-old self who thought was dying for a while until she wrote about being saved. So there. I already had a 'break in case of emergency' solution the second time around. I just forgot about it for a couple of years.)

And so, I wrote. And, predictably, everything got better. Also predictably, I stopped writing.

And now here we are. Well into my thirties, nervous about writing again. This time is different, though. This time, maybe for the first time in years, I don't feel like I'm drowning. I'm actually feeling pretty good. I'm taking the time to reconnect with who I was and all the joy I dropped in the way of being an (isolated, responsible, closed-up, lethargic, reliable, sane, and insecure) adult.

But I have so much to unpack and so much new knowledge to learn and apply that, well... I either write about it or I'm never going to find out what I'm really feeling/thinking/needing. It's as easy as that.

My 14-year-old self taught me everything about it. 20 years later, I'm finally listening.

It's been a long, long while since I have written anything. But I am now.

Welcome to my blog, friend.

[tommiruewrites]

⌜↳ enemies ˖⁺⌟

✩ pairing(s) - Harry Potter x slytherin!reader ✩ status - enemies to lovers (tame version bc i wrote this ages ago) ✩ requested? - no ✩ prompt(s) - none ✩ summary - you and Harry have been enemies for years, why are you suddenly helping him? ✩ tw/cw - like one curse word, angst, ends with fluff (this seems to be a trend) ✩ word count - 1.4k ✩ a/n - I wrote this one a long time ago so im not a huge fan of it but i never published it so i figured eh why not

you can also read this on ao3 ₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚ ♡₊˚·˚

"Twenty house points from Gryffindor" Snape hollered, glaring at Harry who'd just now opened a folded note I passed him that I had enchanted to scream loud Slipknot music for two hours with no way to stop it even if you ripped it into shreds.

From the corners of my eyes, I could see his knuckles turning white as he gripped the desk, steam practically pouring out of his nostrils with the amount of sheer rage he was holding in.

I smirked to myself at the sight, knowing it was another win for me.

Harry and I have somewhat of a reputation around Hogwarts, and not the good kind. If you ask anyone in the castle they'll scoff and give you a three-page essay on how much we despise each other with countless stories to prove it.  For example, one time he pushed me into the black lake for no reason when I was studying astronomy with my friends, so I jinxed him and sent him to the hospital wing which cost Slytherin fifteen house points and caused me to get three weeks detention. What nobody tells is that I didn't mean to actually hit him with the jinx, it was supposed to be more of a threat than anything, but my wet hands caused the wand to slip. I tried apologizing the next day, but it seemed that he'd already made up his mind against me, so I didn't bother. Thats when the war really started. Another time, Harry tripped me when I was walking into potions, so I fell on my face in front of everyone, causing students to laugh and me to curse from the harsh impact. It cost me three house points. So, I slipped some extra ingredients into his cauldron to make it blow up in his face. It cost him ten house points. This time it wasn't a total accident, but I had only meant to make his potion change colors, I didn't expect it to explode. He was usually the one to start it, so I didn't feel guilty for returning the same treatment. Especially because I did it better. Now it's kind of turned into a free for all and things only escalated. Honestly, I don't even remember disliking him before all of it started. In fact, I thought he was a pretty nice boy. Oh, how wrong I clearly was. I see him walking down the hall as I'm headed to class with my friends, and I ignore him so I don't have to deal with an argument. Today had been a long day and I really wasn't in the mood to deal with him right now.

The next thing I know, the blonde boy beside me opens his mouth. "Oi Potter! Fan of metal, are we?"

You little shit.

Harry and his friends turned towards us groaning. I reluctantly turned to face them as well, hoping to not have to speak.

"Your house points are dropping like wildfire, Potter. Wonder if your little girlfriend can save your winning streak this time?" he said stupidly.

Pansy was about to speak up, but before I could process what was happening words were pouring out of my mouth with an alarming level of volume.

"Would you lay off him?"

My own eyes went wide as I processed what I'd just said. Harry and his friends snapped their heads in my direction, confusion written all over their faces. I had never been the one to start it, but I had also never been the one to stop it before. Even I was shocked at my actions.

My friends stared at me with pure confusion but didn't say another word as my feet quickly carried me away.

__________

A week had passed since then and nobody had brought it up, nor have either of us taunted each other. Everyone in the school seemed to be skeptical of the sudden lack of chaos as if it were some kind of elaborate trick. Harry avoided me at all costs, and I was grateful that he was sparing me the embarrassment.

It's not like I ever really hated him, or even disliked him in the first place. I just couldn't bring myself let him win the stupid little competition we had created for ourselves. In fact, I actually had always found him quite cute but that had all gone out the window once my pride was brought into it. Now looking back on it, it all seems sort of silly.

As I was walking to my next class, I heard familiar laughter coming from outside. As I made my way towards the noise I saw that it was Draco and Harry bickering, per usual. They had a much more intense rivalry than he and I ever did.

Without thinking, I felt myself moving towards them. I started being able to hear what the argument was about.

"I don't have time for this today, Malfoy." Harry said, clearly irritated and tired

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot you were such a busy man Mr. Potter! You probably have interviews lined up all evening."

"Would you bugger off?" I said, again without thinking. I don't know what's gotten into me lately or why my friends seem to be getting especially on my nerves.

Draco's brows knitted together in confusion and Harry stared at me with a small smile and curious eyes. The blonde looked back and forth between us a few times before rolling his eyes so hard is whole head lolled back dramatically with the action.

He then started shuffling off towards the castle muttering things along the lines of, "She's mad, that one." and, "If I have to start hanging around Potter I might just pitch myself off the astronomy tower."

I couldn't quite make out what that meant at the time since I was still frozen in place after my little outburst. Harry caught my attention with a small cough. I looked over at him to see him still smiling at me, scratching the back of his neck.

"That was quite unexpected, coming from you." He started, almost anxious

I scoffed slightly, "You could say a 'thank you'." I quipped back, not really knowing why I felt the need.

He laughed a little, "That's more like it." he smiled, hands playing with the hem of his robes.

"Thank you."

My eyes snapped up to meet his smiling ones, not expecting him to actually say it. I was actually expecting something much less civil. I never noticed how pretty his eyes were until then, or how good he looked when his hair was all messy like that. I forced myself to look back down at the grass to avoid the slowly rising blush on my face.

What the hell is going on. This is Potter. Pull yourself together, I thought.

"I was just headed down to Hagrid's to meet my friends. You should come." he offered kindly

I looked back up to him, my face scrunched up in confusion.

"I don't know if that such a good idea."

"Why not?" he asked as if it wasn't obvious

"Well for starters, your friends don't like me very much-" I started before he cut in, "They don't know you yet, and to be fair, you didn't make the best first impression." he joked, and I laughed. I actually laughed.

That was the first time I hadn't gotten angry at him interrupting me or even speaking in my general direction.

"-and besides, I didn't think you liked me very much either." I finished quietly

He softly smiled at me again, "Well, I don't really know you yet either, but considering you've decided not to jinx me the past few times we've run into each other, I think maybe I'd like to."

I chuckled as smile crept up onto my face as I felt my stomach do a little flip. "Well in that case, I don't see why not." I said, following him down the hill to Hagrid's Hut.

_____________

That was the start of our friendship, and the beginning of what would be many more years together.  I soon found out that our whole rivalry was based off of a misunderstanding in the first place. He had never meant to push me into the black lake or trip me on my way into class at all, they were all just accidents that I had mistaken for cruel tricks. Draco did end up having to hang around Harry since I refused to choose between my friends and my boyfriend (because that would be pathetic), and he did not pitch himself off the astronomy tower.