#ugh I suck at hashtags

[fragiledate]

they made me regress back to a 9yo

[nomaishuttle]

there waz that post ages ago i believe pre my sweeneytoddification beam (watched the movie on a whim and then immediately made my sibling and 💀💀💀 watch it with me (seperately (i watched it 3 times within 2 days (im fairly snti movie now its like.. whateverrr its kind lame. also ewww to the lead actor who shall not be named)))) that post tyat was like Whats the unreleased project/song/movie/game/whatever that youre modt sad abt... And i didnt ha e an answer at the tjme but oh my god dude its literally the restnof the 2012 london cast recording I WANNA HEAR THE REST OF THE SONGSSS

[explodingcrayon]

I really like game design and learning new things but I gotta say, part of me wishes I never poked my head into the full ttrpg world because y'all are just downright mean and condescending lmao Maybe more people would be comfortable and willing to try your alternative systems if you didn't constantly talk down to people who play and enjoy D&D. Like I get why it's frustrating that it's the mainstream system*, but insulting the people who play it is probably not the best way to convince them that other systems are (correctly!) just as fun, if not more fun than what they spend their time, money, and memories on ✌️

*Genuinely, I get it. I dipped into the ttrpg scene because I was interested in trying other games that solved/avoided the qualms I have with 5e. And I've found a lot of systems I'd like to try! But wow, the tone on some of the posts really do not do you guys any favors for spreading the word.

[eddwardharrison]

“Unforseen Consequences In VRCHAT” (goofy add-on.)

This quip is in fact based off the 2010 Alice in Wonderland live action!! The Mad Hatter so PERFECTLY fits Ruin, I couldn’t help it. UGH THIS EPISODE DARK SUN CALLED HIMSELF ‘SOLSTICE’ AND WAS LIKE “NAMES SUCK. JUST CALL ME SUN IDIOT????” AND IT MADE ME EXPLODE!! But also giggle because thats the second time me and my bestie have snuck that name into the show. mwahahah 😈😈😈 guys use hashtag # solsticeisthebetternameuseitnowpleasepleaseplease2024 (DON’T ACTUALLY DO THAT IM JOKING.) I call him Solstice and he will be Solstice forever in my heart, but I EQUALLY love the fact that he’s just so…original?? He prefers just being a Sun, he doesn’t WANT a new identity, he wants to be seen for what he is and what suns can become— and in a way, he’s a Sun Liberator. Which is…insanely cool.

also the fact Ruin is his own person and not a sun or moon makes me..so happy.

[radiant-reid]

my cm skips and why

inspired by @steve-harringtons-slut post

season 1

fisher king pt1 it's my least favorite multiparter, i just don't love the plot and it's the start of elle's downfall which makes me sad

season 2

fisher king pt 2 for the same reason as above

aftermath i can watch the first bit but not after elle's undercover part because i don't like bad things happening to her

north mammon i used to like this one but it's hella sad, like one girl has to kill her best friend and the parents don't even really care and then it's all because they dissed the unsub 20 years ago !! like he's a sicko

distress boring af and also i hate watching sad spencer where no one does anything to help him

legacy also bores me and they should have used the 'unsub killing homeless people' once with the s4 finale

season 3

doubt boring and the ending sucked

In name and blood haley hotchner. i was a fan at the beginning and the end but she was cheating on him and i will never be persuaded otherwise. i hated her in this episode, also strauss too. and then spencer's sad at the end, nope nope nope

true night this one bores me, it's such a dumb plot, like a dude who writes comic books lmao

in heat i love JJ and Will and i think that's the only reason i occasionally put up with this episode because the rest of the time it sucks

season 4

normal i think this is a very boring one !! the road one where he ran over his victims >>

omnivore the first time i was cool watching this but now that i know what the start of it is, i save myself the emotional pain

season 5

nameless, faceless same reason as omnivore, i know what happens next and i hate seeing hotch sad. also the victim's kid, who is kind of the victim himself, i would not have cared if he died since he decided to go to school when he should have just stayed at home and been safe, like okay, risk the lives of everyone there

100 no no no no no, too sad

parasite i feel like they did a plot similar to this with the guy in charm and harm

solidarity man again, boring

our darkest hour plot is dumb af, and it's too similar to catching out with a homeless unsub breaking in and killing residents. also, I've always felt like it was meant to be based on Richard Ramirez and it's not scary enough for that

season 6

the longest hour obviously same reasons as above since it's the second part but also i really hate that the dad made Morgan promise to look after his daughter. i get it, he wanted someone good to be there for her, i just feel like that's a shitty thing to do to a near stranger

Devil's night nah, there's has to be a limited number of episodes about unsub's burning people and this one's the worst

what happens at home not a bad plot but ashley seaver ugh, she's the worst

Valhalla + Lauren it's not as sad as when haley dies because we know emily's still alive but i hate that she didn't tell the team and they're all sad

with friends like these not really a big fan of unsubs with hallucinated friends

season 7

heathridge manor sorry mgg, i just don't think this is scary or interesting

divining rod that whole wig thing creeps me out

season 8

god complex the plot is not good and i feel like the title doesn't fit at all

the good earth boring

magnificent light this is makes me laugh because it's so cringe

zugzwang too sad for spencer

season 9

the inspiration and the inspired okay maybe i have two least favorite multiparters because this one i also hate, like the praying mantises and random head in his fridge, nah

route 66 the hotch bit, i like, but the whole plot with the girl running away with her dad, i do not

200 i love JJ and i can't watch her in pain like that. also, i do not get why they went out to a bar right after her rescue like whos idea was that ?

what happens in mecklinburg boring and unrealistic because no woman is going to get out of her car and walk up to a massive truck when they can't see anything bffr

season 10

if the shoe fits makes me cringe so much

hashtag also makes me cringe

nelson's sparrow so unnecessary !!! like why would they kill gideon off when he's been gone for 7 seasons ?? and you're trying to tell me he just got killed by a random unsub, the jason gideon ?? that would have never happened

season 11

drive i hate the episode title and the plot, they should have called it something like execution

derek too sad, i want all the characters to always be happy

a beautiful disaster can the Morgans not catch a break ??

inner beauty plot makes me cringe hard

season 12

seek and destroy i feel like they kind of used this plot before and it felt like a lazy reattempt

(sometimes i skip every episode with spencer in prison but this is as if i'm not)

in the dark don't like the plot

true north an unsub making a sundial ? bffr

season 13

blue angel the plot is like pleasure is my business but with an unsub with a different relationship to the exclusive prostitute and it's way worse

dust and bones the unsub makes me cringe so hard

bad moon on the rise an unsub that thinks he's a werewolf bffr

miasma an unsub that thinks he's a plague doctor bffr

annihilator fuck you linda barnes

the capilanos an unsub that dresses like a clown bffr

the dance of love an unsub that kills based on song titles bffr

all you can eat like unsubs roasting their victims, there can only be a certain number of unsubs poisoning people and this one is the worst

season 14

innocence all because he's not related to his dad ?? shoulda just blackmailed his parents separately or run away

luke too sad, skip

night lights cringing

truth or dare jeid episode, no more needed

season 15

awakening nope jeid

ghost this just seemed unnecessary, like okay luke and matt worked together and caught someone, why would he then kidnap them and get arrested again ?? if you wanna be in the mob or diss the mob, you should know your fam will probably get killed

rusty be fr, i know people can be delusional and whatever but i just cannot with this one

family tree again, be fr, why did he cut the ears off and hang them up ? it's hilarious in an ironic way

face off + and in the end this is the way they chose to end the show ? nah

season 16

i don't even need to watch it to know it sucks, like a covid plotline bffr, that's the most cringe ever. it will never exist in my mind

[cherienymphe]

What were your fav and least fav moments in season 3 <3

Ok so (spoilers below the cut)

Faves:

Rafe. Literally Rafe. He was just so funny and such a little shit and one of my favorite things about the season

Riara!!! I loved their interactions so much and when he was like "I always liked you Kie" I went what is actually happening right now cause 😭

Jiara! They hurt so good tbh. The difficult and angsty scenes between them were needed imo. I knew it wasn't going to be smooth sailing and it was difficult watching the way her parents treated him and basically threw his own fears about him and kie in his face and my God the self sabotage was driving me insane and they kept highlighting the differences in their classes but they were cute

Cleo. Literally just Cleo but especially her and Pope. I was surprised by how much I loved them because it seemed like OBX was like yeah let's put the two leftover black characters together but unfortunately they were right and they were cute. Hashtag black love I guess 😭

Cleo and JJ. Not what you think. Cleo's genuine fascination with JJ was hilarious to watch. It was like every time he opened his mouth she'd look at him like he was the most bizarre and mind stumping creature she'd ever met. Also them being two sides of the same coin and equally chaotic was everything

Ward dying!!! I rejoiced so loud it was embarrassing

John B reuniting with his dad but the buck stops there (see least fave things for more)

Y'all gone hate me for this one but I was actually here for Sarah and Tooper? And I do not know why tbh. Can't even tell you. Definitely don't hate her and John B. I think I just enjoyed the drama of it all.

Rafe and Barry. Loved seeing the murder boyfriend together again.

Just the mere knowledge that Rafe was getting it in. Good for him. Good for Sophia.

Rafe and Rose fighting. That was very hilarious to me. "You missed"

Everyone looked great

That motorcycle thing JJ did that made my Kitty purr

Topper going off the deep end in a jealous rampage

Pope telling Rafe it's not over like yeah. I look forward to round 4

Kelce 😭 I actually missed him

Topper helping them steal the "cross" like what was he even doing there? It was so funny to me because you have the whole gang and then...topper 😭

Rafe almost choking his dad out. That was great. Also when he almost killed him. That was a moment

Friar Cameron

Least fave:

WARD. FUCKING WARD. I wanted him OUTTA THERE from day one. How he managed to be so self righteous while sucking so bad I do not know

The fact that Rafe didn't kill ward. That was highly disappointing but alas

Big John. Just a horrible father. Found myself wishing he'd stayed missing.

They were putting the boys THROUGH it my gawd. Idk if they were like yeah we tortured tf out of Sarah last season so this season let's make it even. I mean Pope finding out Rafe melted the cross? Almost going on a villain arc? JJ having no home and nowhere to go and being treated like shit by Kie's dad? John B almost dying? Being forced to be an accessory to murder? Getting cheated on while literally going through hell? My goodness

The show is TV MA so how tf you're going to show Sophia waking up in Rafe's bed half naked and show Rafe getting dressed but don't show us what went down in said bed. Why am I watching Sarah and John B about to do the so but I can't get a crumb for Rafe?

Really wanted to see Rafe give Sophia that tour. No I won't shutup about it

Kie's parents. It's amazing how I found myself thinking they'd grown on me because surely it's hard trying to be a parent to Kie with everything going on but then they just weren't listening to her at all and literally forcibly shipping her off was sooo. And then for them to be celebrating their discovery at the end like they didn't doubt her and JJ the whole time was so ugh

[chibishortdeath]

Man, social media is hard.

I have an account on Instagram, but I just wanna leave it. And it sucks cause I had ok luck with it for a while, but it’s barely useable at this point. Hashtags are completely fucked, the algorithm changes every two seconds, the switch of focus to video content kills all hope for most people posting images, and now they’re doing stupid Ai shit soon! Great! Wow! So lovely!

I’m debating making an account on some newer smaller social media and seeing how that turns out. Bigger ones just have all been going straight to shit. I’ve heard a little buzz about Cara, but eh idk about it yet.

Anyway, I think I’m going to be officially moving my main focus to maybe here in tumblr, the few discord servers I’m in, and then whatever other smaller platform I decide on. Maybe eventually I’ll have a toyhouse account and can hopefully start selling adopts or something.

But yeah, social media is hard, ugh…

[arttrampbelle]

Srry for the very heated. Very real. Very raw. And cery fucking angry vent below. Im sick of this shit in the mortal kombat "fandom" on here.

Cw: vent. Im Really fucking angry.

gonna ignore the trash heap dumpster fire that is the mortal kombat fandom and write my own mk stuff.

Thats the only mk that exists. The mk in my brain n heart.

Sorry not sorry but mk sucks now. Ed boon legitimately doesn't know or care to listen to the real fans. (He had the audacity to basically say street fighter was outdated when he hadn't done anything worth a lick of fucking damn in 30yrs that was decent and didn't backtrack on. Gameplay and story. Fuck off ed boon you boomer pathetic ass peice of trash. Go suck a fat dick n die. Fr.)

Oh yeah and called street fighter anime like when wtf is he doing making all the characters look so damn young like that sus af boon. Real sus.

Nrs has their egos so far up their asses. And so do these new "fans" who don't bother to care because they wanna just fuck a fictional character. (Dont get me wrong. I self ship,i love the characters too. But i actually have a working brain to know. There is more going on then whatever the fuck im oogling at you twats! Like fucking stop looking at your pathetic blorbos for five fucking seconds and look at the bigger picture here! Thirsty ass bitches. God damn. )

So yeah. Any mk stuff from mortal kombat is gonna be my own writing. So nrs can suck it. New fans can suck it and fucking die in a dumpster fire. They can kiss my whole asscheek.

Fucking ruined scorpion. They will fucking pay for that. Fucked over everything and everyone.

Kung lao. Got fucking nerfed....AGAIN!

Raiden reduced to bitch boi.

Liu kang need a say more?!

Shang tsung. A pathetic welp. Wtaf?! Also why tf is kronika back?! That absolutely makes no sense. Period. Yup. As i suspected. They lokified him. The fans are not villain fans unless they look "pretty" enough for them. Grossly making him like a teeny bopper. Like wtaf is wrong with y'all?! Shang tsung isn't supposed to be a fucking babyface. You weirdos!

Shao kahn. A diablo genshin impact villain rip off.

All the women have same face syndrome. Looking like kim k Instagram models. Gross. Like im sorry. They all look gross and dehydrated to me. All the same body types. All "conveniently attractive". Yeah. 30yrs and they still have yet to make a character look "average" or a character with a larger body type,fat character that wasn't a joke character or thrown to the side. Cant ever make the women normal looking. Nope gotta appease the loser men with porn models. And anyone who is a woman who falls for that shit. Thinking its hashtag girlboss doesn't help this. No. What would be. Is actually hiring and PAYING actual real woc models and voice actors to be in your games. But nope.

Nrs is lazy pathetic pos guys. Who just want money.

All the asian guy characters look like they took Lewis tans face and copy cut pasted it. Fr. They dont look good. At all. They do not look like they have any personality. Period.

Johnny is the only one that is different. Ofc the only white guy is done decent. Because they cant of course fuck up their precious little white dude to project their insecurities on. (Course they did fuck him up because everything thqt made johnny special is now gone. He just some douche who looks like jc)

The shokan are tiny af. Pathetic. Weak. Ugh.

And they wanna disguise this horseshit as something groundbreaking when it's not really. Most fans are not gonna pay and arm n a leg for a shitty game that you guys legit fucking ruined integral lore to.

All hiding it behind "oh but its a new world" no honey its a entirely new game Franchise only using mortal kombat in name brand alone.

Its not even mortal kombat anymore.

ITS SOME PATHETIC ASS DUDES FANFIC FROM A DC FANS BASEMENT ON WATTPAD.

So yeah im pissed.

So anything from me. Mortal kombat related.

Will be from my own writing.

Until nrs can actually pull their heads out their ass and clean house.

I wont be buying anything official from them. Like merch n games. They can suck it. All movies will be pirated. Etc.

I will play the shit i have,and watch and stick to the 95 movie n be done with it.

Fucking hell. They ruined scorpion!

Im just pissed.

[espress0-depress01]

Woohahahah. Oh my god. My head is super fucked up. I hate it. I literally don’t know what my body looks like. For one second I’m like okay I look decent and literally I put my shirt down and a second later I check my body again and I’m freaking huge. And on top of that I was looking back at old pictures tonight and I’m like wow. Around my highest size and I literally don’t look any different now. And I miss being smaller. “You look better now” “you looked gross then” but I loved it. And that’s how I Know I’m sick. I loved my hips and ribs, I loved wearing smaller sizes. But here I am. I’ve gained. After losing. And don’t get me wrong I love having an ass but I might just sacrifice that to be at my lowest again. But I also know it was never enough. My body is recovered but my head is not. I still use apps to track everything, I use the scale multiple times a day, and added bonus now I measure my waist every day too. That’s new. I’m just tired of it. I hate feeling this. What’s so super fucked up is that I see others who have recovered and they’re like so beautiful? And I’m like yeah but if I really recover I’ll just be huge. And I feel like people are lying to me saying I look better now. I really don’t think I do. Ugh. And I have a lot of weight in my face and that’s even worse. I had to lose so much for my face to look somewhat decent. Idk. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten back on here. But I have no way to talk to anyone about it. I’m just scared to go back down that path again but it’s like mentally I’m already there. Just gotta quit feeding myself so damn much.

P.s sorry I suck at using hashtags I am afraid to put anything because I don’t want to say the wrong thing and lose my page

[headphonegrl]

hi!! this is going to be long so bare with me pls, i just wanted to say that i absolutely love your writings! you really have a way with words, i feel like i am reading a love poem everytime i'm reading one of your works, truly beautiful ugh :( <3

so i just wanted to ask if i could have my own hashtag hehe? i think you will be getting a lot of messages from me here (hope that's okay) you could adress me as “🌟” if you like!

also, saw that your requests are open so i thought i might as well request, so idk if you've seen this but there's this trend going on tiktok where girls are putting lipstick on and then they pretend it get a bit messy and smudged & they turn the camera and there would be their boyfriends with kisses all over their faces (i really suck at explaining but i'm referring to this https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS8921kYL/) anyway i thought maybe you could write something similar with kylian? perhaps the reader see the trend on tt and want to try it with ky? you could write it anyway you like i know you will do it justic, will appreciate it if you do write it and if you don't feel like it then that's totally okay too!!!

anyway, i guess that's all, hope you have a good day! sending you hugs x

- 🌟

hi !!! first of all ur so sweet tysm ily :,,) and yeah of course!!! i love that emoji it's so cute. and yeah i have list of loads of random things i want to write so ill add that for sure!!! sending u love hope u have a good day <3

[amourjins]

https://www.tumblr.com/amourjins/758386930504335360/im-rooting-for-you

that sucks, i think maybe you should actually go thru with it… don’t waste your efforts on someone that doesn’t wanna put in the bare minimum its not gonna be good in the long run 😕

(once again, its your life so do what you want w my advice 😭)

—🎧

YEAH … i start school soon anyw n im probably barely gonna focus on online friends so (i barely have any anyws..)!!! blr is different tho i love all of yoiu kisses (to the people that r 08 07 06) ure so right ugh hashtag got better things to do w my time better things to do w my time do w my time

[a-sirens-melody]

Okay so I ended up in your blog by accident (clicked a reblog on a post) and didn't know about Welcome Home except for one singular art post, i stumbled on your post about the nsfw context and what little context I've been able to gather has just left me... Baffled. Because I think, and any reasonable person should think, that there's a difference between some stuff that people just throw under the proship blanket, such as, i don't know, believing fiction should be a safe place to explore dynamics that should stay far away from real life, with the obvious caveat that you should know it's strictly fiction and warn appropriately and if applies (like NSFW) keep it away from minors, stuff like that, or writing or drawing nsfw stuff of immensely popular franchises done by corporations or by idk, bestselling authors like Neil Gaiman who just avoid such content and so on, and what seems to be harassing a single individual about their own project??? What?? Also idk, if one really wanted that content for oneself there's such a thing as not posting it??? Like you could just do that, keep it private and not upset anyone (unless the creator is a minor which I'm not aware of in which case please don't do that either ugh)

So yeah basically I stumbled onto the post and I wanted to say, as someone who's outside that fandom and whose views on fandom tend to be categorized as proship by more astringent people for the reasons stated above, i would like to throw in my 'stop that immediately' in right along with yours and ask these people what in hell they're doing. You don't get to make the fiction is fiction argument when you see it directly affect a real person, and these people are exactly the kind of potential predators giving most of us a bad name. Like this is not 'not all of us' argument this is a 'this looks bad from my side of the fence too and I wish people learned the difference between a fictional character not having boundaries and a whole ass real human having them'.

I'm sorry you and other fans and especially the creator have to deal with this level of disrespect.

Oh my gosh hello!! Sorry it’s been a month, I suck at checking my inbox XD

Anyways thank you! I think it’s getting better since Clown introduced a hashtag for all the NSFW art to go into now. Ofc there was the whole thing with ppl infantilizing them but. Well when is it not a flaming dumpster fire here😅

[lilacliquors]

Oh nooooo, I'm loving your 12 days of Christmas 😭😭

Maybe you could try adding more hashtags?? Ugh I'm so sad, I love your blog soooo much and I don't want you to stop writing on here 😢

i'll give a few more tags a shot, though i've heard that only the first five really count and get the post moving a bit? i'm not entirely sure.

and don't get me wrong, i do enjoy writing, it's the one thing that keeps me sane during the insanity that has become my life recently, but it sucks when no one sees it, you know?

[dontyoudarejudgemesworld]

The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far: Chapter Three

Alright guys, so this takes place after a bit of a time skip. While I know that time skips are like coma theories (as in a sort of cheap way out) this is meant to illustrate the sort of relation ship Bill and her 'uncle' are creating. It's a long one (6,000+ words) but gives some insight to the characters. I know not everyone is a fan of time skips but if I were to go from start to finish for this whole fic it would be longer then the whole Lord of the Rings series so forgive me. The next few chapters will all include some kind of time skip as the focus of them is more to establish and form relationships serving as kind of independent one shots instead of parts of the over arching story-line. I understand that this may be a bit unpopular but considering what's coming it seems the best way to structure it to achieve my end goal with out having it drag on forever. I told you this was going to get weird. Also as an aside, I know there were some grammar and spelling errors in the first two chapters, this is due in part to my normal Beta reader being unavailable (because adulting is time consuming). That being said I had a stand in look this over an took much more time in transcribing it so I hope most of the errors were addressed.

Once again it’s posted here on AO3. And now onward to the insanity.

~*~ One Year Later

Stan sat pantsless in the TV room wondering if this was what contentment felt like. Beside him on the floor sat Billie leaning back against the dinosaur skull staring at the trash TV that played across the screen. Murphy announced ‘you ARE NOT the father’ for the third time in a row and the young woman who sat beside him burst out crying as a man who looked like he should be selling used cars jumped up triumphantly to the jeers of the audience. Beside Stan, his ‘niece’ let out a sharp bark of laughter as she took a sip of her soda. He glanced at her and shook his head; she really was a strange one.

In baggy basketball shorts and a tank top, he could see the mural of tattoos she sported. The sleeve on her right arm was actually a bed of colorful flowers and vines with skulls woven in, macabre but beautiful if he was honest. On her left shoulder was a raven’s head that looked like it was tearing through her flesh that was a little to photo-realistic for his taste. She also had a peacock on her left thigh with a long flowing tail that curved around to end on her knee cap, and a small green dog robot thing from some cartoon or other with the word ‘DOOM!!’ in crude childish letters on her right ankle. Wild black curls spilled over her shoulders in an unkempt mane and dark circles around her eyes told him that she had spent too long at the Skull Fracture last night getting rowdy with the lumberjacks. “Told you, Stan that means you’re picking up the tab at Greasy’s,” she told him cheerfully and he let out an exaggerated groan. He should know by now that betting against her was a fool errand. Over the last year, he’d learned a lot of things about Billie. Like she had no fixed address just various post office boxes, and instead, she lived out of a duffle bag and motel rooms. She worked for herself and seemed to make pretty decent money though he had all but confirmed his suspicion that she toed a very fine line between what was legal and what wasn’t. In truth, she played it pretty close to the vest when it came to discussing her work but she’d let a few things slip and he was willing to bet that she was a bloodhound at least part of the time. Someone that loan sharks and crime lords used to find people that didn't want to be found. A dangerous and ethically ambiguous profession at best. And while he couldn’t help but dislike that idea he couldn’t exactly say too much on the matter, instead of taking some small comfort in the fact that at least she wasn’t a full-fledged criminal like he’d been. Maybe if she had kids one day they’d manage to be upstanding members of society, but something told him she wasn’t the settling down type. Overall throughout seven visits and quite a few calls they had developed a comfortable relationship. After the fourth visit, he’d broken down and invited her to just come to stay at the Shack instead of staying at The Twin Beds. Which he regretted almost instantly; Wendy and Soos had both noticed at once and plied him with questions. Fortunately, Billie seemed to have inherited his Ma’s snake tongue and smoothly lied that she was the daughter of an old acquaintance that he was helping out with a place to stay between jobs without batting an eye. Soos and Wendy had been a bit wary of her at first, but they’d come to warm up to her. She tended to help around the shop and was generally amicable flashing charming smiles and quick wit to win them over. He was fairly certain she’d won over Wendy by covering for her so she could skip out to hang out with her friends a few times but couldn’t prove it. And Soos’s natural good nature had caused him to warm to her quickly, especially when she started helping him come up with and build new attractions for Stan to take credit for. When he wasn’t leading tours and she wasn’t off drinking and brawling with the bikers of the town (a pass time she seemed to enjoy a tad too much in his opinion) the two of them usually spent their time watching trash TV in between runs to Greasy’s diner and the bar. Though after she’d started staying with him he’d discovered that the woman could cook. He’d told her at one point that she didn’t need to but she’d shrugged it off with a smile and that cool laugh of hers saying ‘I spent enough nights hungry and cold that it’s a pleasure to be able to make a decent meal.’ That thought had given him pause to wonder what exactly she’d been through; her mother certainly sounded like a piece of work, but it seemed like so much more. But as much as he wanted to know he didn’t ask. In fact, he hardly asked her anything about her past and she in return didn’t ask about his. Instead, they had found a strange sort of comfort in each other's company. Two broken people who had had hard lives that could spend time around the other without pretending to be anything more than they were. The first few visits they'd both been on their best behavior, Billie had kept her habits of beer and brawling to herself and he had cut back on the cigar and shoplifting. But after an incident involving Billie sucker-punching a guy for asking her if she wanted to come back to his room and put a smile on her pretty face after which Stan had declared it was time to leave snatching the guy's wallet as they fled they had come to a silent agreement that they didn't need to put on 'upstanding citizens' acts anymore. He had thought a few times that he vaguely remembered that this strange feeling of accepting each other for who they were was what family had felt like back when Ford and he had been children, but he couldn’t quite be sure. “Earth to Stan,” Billie’s smooth southern drawl broke through his thoughts pulling him back to find her head cocked staring up at him one brow cocked curiously, “You didn't hear a damned word I said did yuh?” she asked a smirk pulling on her lips. “Naw, I was too busy thinking how sick I’m gonna feel at dinner so I cant go to Greasy’s,” he told her to cover his sappy musing. She rolled her eyes as she shook her head. “The most expensive thing on the menu is 15 dollars. I know you're cheap but…,” she began only to be interrupted as an obnoxious commercial can on the volume raising ten octaves. “Are you completely miserable?” came Bud Gleeful’s voice. “Well I am now,” she growled putting one hand over her ear and glaring at the TV as the commercial played. Watching she cocked an eyebrow as Stan’s picture flashed up to be stamped with ‘FRAUD’, “What bullshrimp is this?” she asked incredulously, “That the chubby car salesman? He’s ten times the liar yuh are, how the hell does he have the gall to call yuh out like that?” “I know, right?  At least my customers have some interesting stories to go with the junk I sell them,” he said indignantly, “And what’s worse is it’s working. He’s got his kid pretending to be psychic and the tourists are eating it up. Heck, even the locals are. Putting a real cramp in my wallet. I wish there was something I could do to hit him hard but nothing seems to be working. Even the Squid-abitt isn’t enough,” he railed shaking his head. Beside him, Billie cocked her head one eye squinted in thought as she stared at the TV. “What about someone who can talk ta the dead?” she asked and his head snapped over to her his eyebrows shooting up. “What? Well, yeah that would be a real money maker but who the hell do I know that can do that?” he scoffed as he took a drink of his soda, “Even I can't pull that off.” “I can,” she said matter factly and his face pulled into a look of bored skepticism. “Yeah, and I can teach a pig to fly,” he snorted and she looked up at him that sly smirk of hers slowly crawling over her lips. “Ya wound me, Stanford. I’m from the south where snake oil peddlers are ah’ dime ah’ dozen. Hell Bud’s one that’s why he’s pulling this off so well,” she told him in a slightly condescending tone, “Tell you what I’ll go double or nothing on Greasy’s. If I can give yuh a two-night show that will make more then you do in the same two days. That means two dinners at Greasy’s and braggin’ rights from now until the end of the world,” she challenged and he couldn’t help the lopsided grin that pulled at his lips. “Only if you get it up and running by Saturday,” he added, that would give her the rest of the night and tomorrow to prepare. Not to mention that those were the moneymaker days with tour buses on top of regular foot traffic. A challenge he was sure even she couldn’t pull off but she just grinned and put her hand out. “Prepare ta eat crow, Stanford Pines,” she told him as he grasped her hand causing him to let out a sharp hoarse laugh. “Even you aren’t that good kid,” he sniped unable to help the smug laugh that escaped him at the fire that lit in her eyes at his challenge. “Oh you’re fixin’ ta eat those words old man,” she warned as she hopped to her feet. “Hey what about dinner,” he barked as she turned on her heel to head up to the attic. “Time is money, Stanford. Order Chinese from that there place at the mall, card’s by the phone,” she snapped as she hustled off to get started. Watching her go he couldn’t help but smile. She really was something else, and he’d managed to get dinner without paying for it.

~*~

A day and a half…that was all he’d given her. And now he was thinking that had been too much time. The woman had to be some sort of witch. There was no other explanation as to how literally overnight she’d managed to pull this off. By Friday morning there had been flyers plastered all over town with the simple drawing of a closed eye with the words ‘Esmeralda. Two nights only at the Mystery Shack.’ And apparently, somehow everyone in town had heard the whispers about a real live gypsy that could talk to the dead by noon (he had a theory that Billie had somehow gotten Wendy to help her spread the word but once again couldn’t prove it). By Friday night there was a deceptively large tent set up around the totem pole that looked like it had come out of some storybook. It would have been impressive if he didn’t feel the impending loss breathing down his neck. His one hope was that she wouldn't be able to pull off the act; after all, she had become someone the locals recognized by now so they surely wouldn't buy it when they saw her. That was until he’d come downstairs Saturday morning to find a gypsy woman sitting at the table nursing a cup of coffee. Her skin held an olive tint, her eyes a rich deep brown, and her curly black mane was held away from her face by a scarf. She wore a frilled white shirt that hung off one shoulder and a skirt made up of layers of gauzy material in a rainbow of colors with a coin skirt hung low on her hips. Bangles crowded her wrists and a few on her ankle making her every movement musical. Staring at her she flashed him a bright grin. “Good morning Mr. Mystery I’m Esmeralda and I speak to the other side,” she greeted him in an accent that was European but not too strong. Staring at her it took him a minute to realize that she was his daughter. What gave it away was the bandage on her left hand, it was neatly wrapped and wouldn't be worth much note if he didn’t see the slight bump where her extra finger was folded across her palm to hide it. Shaking his head he stared open mouth at her, she looked like a cliche and it was brilliant. The tourist would eat it up. “How?” he demanded his voice cracking in indignant awe causing her to chuckle. “Lots of foundation, contacts, and years of practicing a dozen accents,” she told him smugly in that outrageous but somehow totally believable accent, “You can always admit defeat now Stan and I will only demand one of my dinners,” she offered. “No way toots. You never call a fight early,” he replied and she shrugged as she took another sip of her coffee. Arrogance rolled off her and he let out a low grumble, while he could appreciate her confidence speaking to the dead was a tall order. He opened his mouth to say something to her when Wendy's voice came from the gift shop. "Stan a tour bus just pulled up!" Glancing at 'Esmeralda' she flashed a wicked smile as she stood in a rattle of bangles and rolled her shoulders. Looking him up and down she couldn't help the smirk that pulled at her lips. "May the best con win, " she laughed resting all her weight in on hip as she stretched. Stan couldn't help but let out a bark of laughter that rose in him as a competitive fire lit in him. "Age and treachery with overcome youth and exuberance every time, " he reminded her and she shrugged as she moved to slip out the back door. Watching her go he shook his head getting his cane and flipping his eye patch down, he had to admit having some competition was making the day a bit more exciting. The next 10 hours were a whirlwind of activity as a flood of tourists poured through. He spun his stories with a flare he hadn't felt in years as Esmeralda flittered about. He had to admit that she was good; adding some rustic flare to his stories telling of sighting of the Cat-a-peid in the 'old country' and backing up the claim that the magic crystal they sold were steeped in the mystical energy of the forest. Between the two of them, they managed to create a fevered excitement in the visitors who all but threw their money at Wendy. But even as he reveled in what were surely record profits he couldn't help but notice that all of Billie's help was a double-edged sword. Even as she hyped his attractions she filtered about reading palms and offering charms that she made appear from her skirt. Shiny rocks and crudely carved figures on a bit of string, things he recognized from the bulk supply warehouse he bought his own junk from. A ten here and a twenty there that she slipped away with a smile and an offer to come see her tonight as the spirts had many messages and perhaps one was for them. And he finally got to see her speak to the dead, at least that was what it looked like. Gravitating to a cluster of tourists she placed a hand on her temple as she closed her eyes. Letting out a humming sound she peered up at the curious group. "There is a woman. Older, matronly who wishes to speak to one of you. Some connection with the letter T, " she said softly as she hummed again pausing for dramatic effect, "A name or hobbies maybe. Teresa. Or Teapots. Or Tammy. Or trains...tarting. Tabatha, maybe. I'm sorry it's hard to hear her. Her voice is a soft one but warm like..., " he began only to have one if the men, a middle-aged guy speak up suddenly. "Thelma?" he asked suddenly, "My Mema was named Thelma, " he said excitedly and a murmur went through the crowd. Billie smiled softly as though listening to someone speak before nodding. "Yes, Thelma. She passed suddenly, but not unexpectedly right, " she told him and he nodded his face pinching ever so slightly with emotion. "In her sleep, but she was 98," he supplied and Billie smiled gently as she nodded. "She wants you to know that it was painless and she is at peace, " she told him kindly as she shifted as though leaning closer to someone to hear, "She says that you're worrying over something financial. A promotion or payment of some sort. You are concerned that it won't happen, that it keeps you up at night. You are sleeping and it worries her. Do you know what she's talking about?" she asked and he nodded silently the crowd around him starting in wonder. "Ye...yea. I know what she's talking about, " he choked and Billie nodded sympathetically, "She says that you don't need to worry. That it will all work itself out. She says to tell you to have faith, that God wouldn't have you face a trial you could not handle, " she said her eyes flattering closed once more, "She says she loves you and that you need to read for your own health." For a moment silence hung in the air before the man moved forward and threw his arms around Billie thanking her. Around them, the crowd had tripled in size and an excited clamor rose from them all talking at once. It was amazing and a total sham. He'd seen this sort of psychic before, they were all over daytime TV. And while he had no idea how they did it he knew in his bones they were fakes. But even so, the audiences ate it up including the one now swarming around Billie. "Oh she's good, " he growled as he stood watching her work the crowd telling them that she would speak to the spirits tonight and they were welcome to come, no latter than 7 and cash only for her small admission fee. She only asked 20 dollars so she could continue her travels. And every single one ate it up like starving men. She smiled at just the right moments and spoke just the right word. And that when it hit him. This wasn't her first time pulling this con. She was poised and practiced like she did this every day. This was an old hand to her, a well-practiced grift not some idea she"d randomly thrown out. He'd assumed she was just winging it, she was a PI not a psychic. At least she was now. Just like he was Mr. Mystery now. But before that, he'd been a lot of other things. And it appeared before being a PI Bill had been other things as well. In that moment he realized that he'd been played, that he'd assumed she'd been bluffing without knowing her tells. She was a con artist just like him, and he should have known. Betting against her was a fools errand, and not just when it came to daytime talk shows. She was his daughter after all, and it seemed some of his talents had passed on.

~*~

Billie sighed as she she leaned against the support of the porch, a cigarette in one hand and a can of Pitt cola in the other. She felt like a whole new person after a hot shower to wash off the ton of bronzer and foundation she’d used to make her pale skin darker. It was nice to be out of that stupid heavy skirt and back in sweats and a t-shirt. Pre-dawn just started to brush the sky above the trees with thin lines of pinks and oranges the trees shadows stretched out like fingers of darkness trying to resist the coming day. It got light so early up here it made her feel like it was later (or earlier) then 3:30 in the morning. It really was beautiful though, like a Rob Boss painting. She had to admit when she’d first rolled into the little Organ town the year before she had found the picture perfect place a bit unsettling. It had been the plan to show up meet Stan and never look back, after all she’d never thought he would want anything to do with his brother’s vagabond daughter. Guess that’s what she got for thinking. It turned out her uncle seemed to want something to do with her after all, and surprisingly she wanted something to do with him.

After her research she had expected to find a cold logical man who had no room for sentimentality. While she knew scientific papers were written specifically lacking any emotion his had seemed extra sterile. Even the forwards to the where normally the researcher had some kind of tone had been devoid of anything to give her a glimpse of personality. But instead she had found a man who was the furthest thing from a cold clinical researcher. He was warm in a gruff kind of way and she liked it. It occurred to her that the time line of his published works ending and the Murder Shack coming into being seemed to overlap with Stanley’s death. Perhaps, the sudden change in profession had also been a sudden change in personality, grief was a powerful thing after all.

Or perhaps he’d simply decided that this strange little corner of the world was too wonderful to waste with his head buried in in books. And it was wonderful. And weird. Over her first few visits she’d began noticing strange shadows and odd movement in the trees. And while she’d written off the little men she’d seen rummaging in the diner’s dumpster and the Moth Man she’d seen batting at a street light outside the hotel one night to tricks of the mind and the local legends getting to her, she’d quickly realized there was something inherently odd to the place. Not bad just odd. But once she’d come down one morning to find Stan luring a walking camp fire out from under the porch with marshmallows she’d realized it wasn’t in her head. Instead she had decided that she rather liked this place, after all she was an odd person so she didn’t feel so out of place. It was like she could breath freely in this strange little town with her eccentric uncle.

Her uncle, that was still a strange thought. Billie had never really had a family, her mother had always been too busy being a drunken whore druggie to be anything else. And while she technically had four older siblings they’d all been to busy finding their own way to survive to bother with anything as trivial as bonding. Hell, after she’d been taken into state custody she hadn’t seen any of them for years, a few she still hadn’t seen even after all these years. It had always been her, she’d learned early to never depend on anyone else. Survival was the end game and others had always been passing acquaintances to her. But for some reason she kept coming back here, kept calling to check in on Stan. Perhaps, it was that he never asked any questions or judged her for smoking and drinking. Or maybe it was that she knew that the tired eyes and world weary voice she had was a mirror of his. Not that it mattered, she had come to really appreciate the time she spent with the old con.

It was a nice change of pace. Most people seemed to think that being a PI was like the movies; chasing down leads, sneaking around to get photos, and all that, but it wasn’t. While sure it had its exciting moments (especially when it came to some of her less than reputable clients) it was a lot of time sitting around and waiting for someone to show up. It was digging through mountains of trash and public records to find a lead. It was asking a lot of questions that never got answered to people who didn’t want to talk to you. Over all it was exhausting in more ways then one. She’d always spent her time between jobs partying or holed up in a hotel room getting stoned and sleeping, but now she found coming here to be a much better past time.

There was always some new creation Stan was working on or some project to help Soos with. She had found walks in the woods were eventful as she seemed to run across odd little creatures and weird rocks no matter what direction she went. Even when it was boring around the Shack she at least had company. And Stan sure made for interesting company. He was always ready to snipe at each other or make stupid bets over anything. Heck, the last two days had been the most fun she’d had in years. She had enjoyed watching the old con slowly realized that this wasn’t her first rodeo, though, she knew she had shown her hand and he wouldn’t fall for it again.

Then again even she was surprised she’d pulled it off. While the gypsy shtick had been something she’d acquired as a teenager the rest had been dumb luck. She was constantly surprised that for such a nowhere town Gravity Falls seemed to have everything. 24 hour copy shop to make the flyer? Yup, Shenkos beside the mall. Party rental shop with a thematically appropriate tent? You bet. Costume shop? Yup. Local teenagers willing to spread rumors and wield social media like a finely honed weapon for $20 bucks? Well, everywhere had those but Wendy was a sweet kid who seemed more then willing to recruit help. It just went to show that helping the kid ditch work a few times had been a good idea. Still, some how it had all come together and she’d been able to back up her cocky words. Even with the expenses she’d pull in over a grand in a weekend beating Stan by a hundred buck and some change.

So she’d won, though, since she had told Stan to keep it since it was his customers to begin with she had basically bought herself two dinners and some expenses but useless bragging rights. In truth, she didn’t need the money, she got paid well for her work and had nothing to spend it one. She didn’t pay rent since she refused to settle, and aside from weekly hotels, food, and smokes she didn’t buy anything really. So she had a huge bank account that she just let sit for when she decided to retire. Plus, she’d liked the idea of helping Stan out, if in no other way then sticking it in Bud’s face. How dare he call Stan a fraud when he sold junk cars at astronomical prices? A small self aware part of her knew that she had done it because she cared about the old man, but she just ignored it.

Shaking her head she snorted, she had to be tired to be getting all introspective and squishy. Feelings weren’t her bag, she’d just done it for fun. At least that was what she told herself. Shifting slightly she groaned, her body felt heavy and her eyes kept trying to close. She was exhausted two days and nights of putting on a show took a lot out of a woman. Not to mention, she’d had to strike the tent after last night’s performance so the rental company could pick it up first thing, and of course she and Stan had sat up counting out their respective earnings. Stad had recounted hers twice growling she’d padded them, before finally admitting defeat. The look on his face had been worth it.

“Alright kid, how’d you do it?” came a gruff voice and the smell of cigar smoke pulling her eyes from the trees. Looking over at him she flashed a smile earning a half hearted scowl in response and a dismissive grunt, “Come on out with it. It’s only fair I know how I got beat.” Smirking she let out a sharp bark of laughter.

“It’s called cold reading,” she told him causing one of his eyebrows to shoot up in question, “You size up a crowd; age, clothes, general stuff you know. Then you throw out a line; something vague enough to not be a definitive statement but specific enough to be convincing. One you get a bite you reel them in, double talk so they tell you everything but it seems like you told it to them and bam you talked to their dead aunt,” she explained as she took a drink.

“Sounds like it would be easier to actually talk to the dead,” he grumbled, “Yur Grandmother would be proud. So where on earth did you learn to pull that off? It doesn’t seem like somethin’ you’d learn for a party trick,” he observed as he took a long puff off his cigar groaning as he settled back on the couch. Shrugging she sighed as she moved over to sit next to him staring out at the dark woods tucking one leg under her.

“When I was round about 16 I ran off from the group home. I was tired of being passed around homes like a fruit cake at Christmas yuh know. So I landed at a traveling fair after a while and met the Amazin’ Jezabel. She pulled the same gimmick and taught me how since my weird hand gav’ ah bit of a witchy vibe. I traveled with them for a year or two, ���fore getting sick of making her a ton of money and gettin’ hog spit in return. I went out on my own and was good at it,” she told him cracking her neck  a touch of melancholy settling over her as she recalled the days she spent running the con at fairs all over the south, “I probably could have gone on with it, got one of those shows on TV, but after a while people started coming to me looking for real answers. Sure, stuff like this weekend is fine. Tellin’ people that their grandma loves them or their dog is always hangin’ around them don’t hurt nothin’ It makes them happy, but when you have people comin’ to yuh lookin’ for their missing kid offering their life’s savin’s for answers it changes the game. I couldn’t bring mah’self ta lie to them. I didn’t want to give ‘em false hope so I quit. I was tryin’ to feed myself not cheat desperate people, yuh know?” she finished before calming up. She hadn’t needed to say all that, and it kinda broke the unspoken agreement they had to avoid anything too honest about themselves.

Glancing over she expected to find him either half listening to her ramble on or looking at her with the inscrutable look of mild disappointment he got when she came in half cocked with a split lip from brawling with the guys at the Skull Fracture. Instead his brows were furrowed and the corner of his lips pulled down in a half frown. It wasn’t that he looked disgusted at her words more…saddened by them. For a long moment they just stared at each other before he looked away taking a drink of his own soda.

“What?” she asked finally ignoring the slight feeling of insecurity that his silence had brought on.

“Nothin’. I was just thinking about your Dad,” he said his voice slightly rougher then normal, “That’s impressive though. You got any other tricks up your sleeve?”

“Naw, nothing worth noting,” she said as she looked away from him resting her elbow on the arm of the couch and leaning her head on it. For a moment they were silent, sitting there smoking before her eyes slid over to him again.

“What about him?” she asked unable to stop herself. While she excepted that Stanley was gone, and he seemed to be a subject Stanford didn’t seem keen on she couldn’t help but wonder about Stanley. He glanced at her from the corner of his eyes knowing what she was asking at once. For a second she thought he wasn’t going to answer before he shrugged.

“Nothin’ really. Just that you’re a lot like him. He may have been a cheat and a liar but he never preyed on desperate people. He’d probably be proud of you for that,” he said as Billie barely suppressed the pleased smile that threatened to surface at his words, “Though if he’d have known about you’d you could bet you wouldn’t have even been in a position to have to decided who were acceptable marks,” he added under his breath like he was speaking to himself not her. Smiling she looked back out at the trees.

“Yeah well if that were the case I wouldn’t have been able to get some free meals and braggin’ right now would I?” she chuckled to break the heavy silence that had settled on them and she saw his lips twitch from the corner of her eye.

“Yeah, yeah live it up kid. You cheated and you know it. That was dirty trick, I wouldn’t have made that bet if I’d have know you were a professional psychic,” he grumbled and she chuckled as she finished her drink and stood stretching.

“I’m goin’ ta bed. I’m beat,” she announced with a small yawn, “You should get some sleep too, Stan yuh look like hell,” she added glancing down at him causing him to chuckle.

“You ain’t the boss ah me kid,” he grumbled as she couldn’t help the stern look that crossed her face causing him to laugh, “Yeah, yeah. I’ll finish then and head to bed,” he assured her waving his hand at her. Smiling she yawned again as she headed in.

“Night Stanford.”

“Night Billie.”

[ablednt]

I’m saying this as someone who had their age weaponized against them literally immediately after turning 18 but teenagers on tumblr being mean to adults isn’t really a pressing issue guys I prommy

[southislandwren]

uh oh gamers! my 11 year old buddy reeally wants to play with me but i have no bandwidth (like internet wise and mentally) for that and hes been calling me on discord for like 10 minutes straight now