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jikookpancakes · 3 years

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JIKOOK FIC RECS that no one asked for (2021)

but im giving anyway because THE TALENT IN THIS FANDOM IS INSANE

long post incoming!! this is probably just part 1 because i wont stop reading anytime soon so i’m inserting that link just in case i do make another one in the future

What’s a Soul Really Worth, Anyway? by thisneedsmorefilth - 130k words, fantasy, demon!jm, witch!jk, listen, this and the next one are my top 2 jikook fics of all time, so well-written, plot so exciting legit reads like a book, better than a lot of books tbh, the world-building is INSANE, jungkook and the gang accidentally summon demon!jimin and chaos ensue, especially for jungkook...and you know why!!!, so funny, angsty, cried so much, happy ending but listen to me: you gotta read the sequel too, YOU GOTTA.

Militat Omnis Amans: The Beginnings by edaen - 92k words, fantasy, werewolf!jk, vampire!jm, forbidden love, super slow burn but super worth it, JIKOOK IN THIS IS MY FAVORITE JIKOOK IN ANY FIC EVER EVER EVER, this is the ultimate all or nothing will freeze hell over for the other kind of love, and the way this is written is just so... how do i describe it. like you can just tell the author wanted to be very realistic with their feelings. you’ve seen the word count, this is SLOW burn. like you will legit feel their struggle to just be able to love each other and while it hurts, it’s also SO GLORIOUS. i love this one so much and if you like reading angst with happy ending but like cranked up to 200% then read this. bonus feels if you read the whole series

Until Dawn (series) by edaen - this is the long series where the previous one above is part of. highly rec if you love fantasy and you wanna read about bts being a rag tag group of supernatural beings fighting evil yay. also it makes the above fic more satisfying because you see more of jikook just being tgt and in love (with bonus angst because of course)

7 Signs by NamHyora - 27k words, secret spies au, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm who is always used as a raven in their operations aka they use jimin and his attractive self to attract people and gather information or acquire targets and all that spy stuff, and his bestie alpha jk is not too happy about it hehe, friends to lovers, iove this one so much i wish it was longer but i think the author is planning to write a sequel!

Drop Like Confetti by annie_vi - 110k words, ceo!jk, age difference, age swap, ahhh i love this fic so much cause jimin smart and mature and has this no bs attitude, and he can keep up with jk despite the age gap and the difference in status/experiences, jk sexy dilf in this one eheh, i love it cause the drama/angst tackles a very real concern for such couples, like there’s no angst just for the sake of having angst, it really makes sense where they’re both coming from, they’re so whipped for eo too so love that for me

Fold it Up Like Origami by annie_vi - 99k words, gamer!jk, model!jm, same author as above and jk is so boyfriend goals in this one and in all this author’s fics in general like wow my standards are so high now i will legit be single forever just reading jikook fics (with no regrets), secret relationship due to their celeb status, well-written as usual, dialogues/banter in this author’s fics are just YES

The Tournament by kinkmins - 34k words, prince!jm, bodyguard!jk, abo, i’ll paste part of the summary here “Prince Jimin gets ready to hold a tournament where 50 alphas compete for a chance to court him, his father the king hires a new bodyguard who is a little too blunt and a little too talkative.“, i really love this oneeeee

Screwed Up and Brilliant by annie_vi - 113k words, escort!jk, jimin needed a date for a work event and in comes jungkook, escort extraordinaire with a no sex rule and jimin is just dasdkjfhasl, a lot of that “is this real or is he just acting” kinda angst, fluff smut angst

Like Everything Glows by annie_vi - 180k words, merman!jm, aquatic vet!jk, ok this is like my 4th rec from this author just read all their fics you’re welcome, this is their first fantasy fic but soso good, i rec’d this to someone who doesn’t really read fics and she really loved it and said “their love is so pure hhh”, she’s right

Track one: I love you by honeydice - 30k words, they’re “just” best friends, lots of pining it hurts, there’s some yoonmin and mentioned past jinmin in this so just noting in case, angst, denial of feelings, siiiiigh

InYou by edaen - 4k words, pwp :), abo, the morning after jikook mating, more sexytimes ensue + fluff

Falling For You Again by Rose_gold715 - 30k words, amnesia au, jk forgets about jimin and idk just something about this hits right in the feels. btw i don’t support the jk hated jm before in real life agenda so i don’t like this fic for that reason but i like this fic because i love me some good painful angst with happy ending.

The President’s Son by AmeliaBedelia - 55k words, bodyguard!jk, president’s son!jm, jk is assigned to shadow jm bc his life is under threat, and things develop :), jm is jk’s gay awakening :) :)

A Touch of Sin by pettey - 102k words, fantasy au, police officer!jk, supernatural!jm, shamanism, LOOK AT THE RANGE OF JIKOOK WRITERS YALL, this is such an interesting concept, so different from every other fic i’ve read, really well-written, sometimes you come across fics and you cant help but go “someone out there rly blessing me with this art for free”

Tears to the Tide by haromame - 65k words, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm, honestly there’s not a lot of abo elements it’s focused more on jungkook having ptsd as he just came from war, established relationship jikook, he comes back home to jimin and things have just... changed. except their love ok THEY LOVE EO SO MUCH this made me cry so f much ugh so good tho.

Zero Hour by edaen - 5k words, canon compliant, a little drabble based around rosebowl jikook, it’s part of a series/collection of canon compliant jikook so if you’re looking for more canon compliant here you go!!, also if you can’t tell already i tend to like several things from a single author, i haven’t read their other fics im legit saving for sad days but i am confident enough to say their other fics are also rec-worthy.

Wonder by wordcouture - 7k words, im sorry in advance, mcd :( pls take care of yourself, i don’t like sad endings ok i don’t, but this is so popular and i was like, ok let’s see what the hype is all about, i get it now, :((((((((((((((((((((, well-written tho, bc the author will manage to crush your heart in just 7k words ha ha

The Omega Revolution by PinkBTS - 158k words, abo, alpha!jk omega!jm, dystopian au, the hunger games more specifically mockingjay vibes, angst with happy ending but there’s some...things... lost along the way and i think that’s realistic for a dystopian war au, well-written

Blind Switch - 226k words, jockey!jk, rich spoiled brat!jm, jm gets exiled to his grandparents ranch where he meets jk yeehaw, im sorry for the yeehaw, anyway fluff smut angst enemies friends to lovers hurt/comfort slow burn happy ending, all the good stuff, ugh jk so boyfriend goals, also the amount of fluff in the later chapters thank u writer

Finally by Rose_gold715 - 12k words, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm, angst with happy ending, jikook mate out of convenience and jimin runs away from jk and his pack feeling unloved and outcasted, but jungkook goes after him :((

Park Jimin’s Guide to Good Housekeeping by Ashlyn17 - 235k words, fantasy au, when i say jikook has the best fic writers i mean jikook has the best fic writers because THE WORLD-BUILDING in this one?, THE PLOT TWIST?, yesyesyes, jungkook is a powerful fae and jimin is assigned to be his housekeeper hehe, listen my entire fic rec has several that could be great netflix shows and this is definitely one of them

A Spell That Reminds Me of Your Name by Chimneycricket - 42k words, wizards!au, enemies to friends to lovers and the development felt natural, well-written plus the author sometimes makes art of their fics and other jikook fics and posts on twitter, both their fics and art are so good, i’ve heard good stuff about their other fics too :)

that’s it for now!

just a quick one about my preferences: idc about tops/bottoms, i read just about anything but i prefer fantasy and multi-chaptered fics, i love established relationship jikook so hmu with recs anytime, i don’t like reading anything with cheating and mcd, i love fics where jk and jm are just so friggin in love they are just IT for eo, and at the end of the day even if there are elements to the fics i wouldn’t normally read, as long as they’re well-written then i’m all for it

#jikook #kookmin #jikook fic rec #bts #jimin #jungkook #there's some that i wanna include but they're gone from ao3 now so sad #lesson: read these while you still can #i have so much more saved to read omg #i shall return with a part 2 #fic rec

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i-need-entertainment · 4 years

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Haikyuu!! Boys and what type of old man they’ll be

Characters: Akaashi, Washio, Konoha, Kita, Suna, Ushijima, Yahaba, Iwaizumi, Futakuchi and Daishou

*Minor Timeskip spoilers*

TW- Old men, mentions of being senile, mentions of retirement home.

Akaashi Keiji: Old man with the best stories

The kind of old man who has the best stories.

He doesn’t tell fictional stories, they’re really just stories from his youth, but he always makes them so fun to listen to.

his grandkids always want him to be the one to read them bedtime stories.

He also gives really good advice.

Will do fun things with his grandkids like outings and what not, but he’ll also help out at home, take them to/pick them up from school and all that stuff.

Comes off as ‘wise’, and he’s stayed pretty sharp throughout the years.

Spends his mornings drinking coffee and playing crossword puzzles.

Aged very nicely, like he looks older sure, but he still looks nice.

Goes by Grandad

Washio Tatsuki: Sweet old man

The old man who only seems scary, because in all actuality he’s a softy.

Definitely loves kids, and keeps candy in a little bowl by the front door for when his grandkids come to visit.

Always offers to help people move into their houses, help with people’s housework etc. (He kept his nice physique playing professional volleyball dUh)

Always there for his family too. He hosts all the family dinners, makes sure his kids/grandkids are okay, all that good stuff~

He’s still pretty quiet though, but it’s never uncomfortable.

Like, you could sit in silence with Old Man Washio, both of you doing your own thing and you’d still enjoy your time with him.

Goes by Grandaddy

Konoha Akinori: Old man that shamelessly criticizes people

“haaa?!?! Well why the heck didya do that? That was dumb.”

He wasn’t exactly censored when he was older, so I find it very unlikely it got better as he aged.

He is in no way mean, just blunt.

Gives his two cents on everything.

The news? No don’t get news from them they’re stupid.

That brand of canned peas? They put way too little salt, there’s no flavor!

It seems like in any and every situation he has something to say about it.

Doesn’t get angry when he’s wrong, just laughs and moves on with life.

Goes by Poppy

Kita Shinsuke: Strict old man

Takes things very seriously, to the point he comes off as intimidating.

He’s spent a long time perfecting his routine, even as an old man he still has his life perfectly put together.

He remained blunt and perceptive, and he can sometimes come off as critical.

Just try cooking with him for example.

Really? You’re gonna do that? No, no it’s fine...just wrong.

But he’s passive aggressive with it.

Doesn’t realize it, but all of his kids/grandkids just want his approval r.i.p.

But little do they know they already have it, he loves his family and is already proud of him.

Goes by Grandpa Shinsuke

Suna Rintaro: Lazy old man

Yeah...he COULD do that..but he could also..like..not.

Spends his days. Uh. Watching tv mostly.

He’s pretty chill, and he’s is definitely the type to spoilt the heck outta his grandkids.

They don’t really even have to ask for it.

He’s just like ‘Hm...whelp, I’m the granddad, it’s not my job to parent you. Sure why not?’

His grandkids love him lol.

And not just because he buys them things, but he’s generally just a fun (but incredibly) unmotivated enjoyable old man.

Goes by Gramps

Ushijima Wakatoshi: He’s hOw old?!?!

He aged, but he didn’t...

Even in his old age he remains stoic and quiet.

Another one who becomes that ‘wise old man’.

He also tells good stories, even if most of them do revolve around volleyball...

Regardless his grandkids always enjoy spending time with him cause he’s just the coolest :)

But his grandchildren love him nonetheless!

Also calls his grandchildren by THEIR full names.

idk man it just works.

Goes by Grandfather...Yes, the whole thing but he doesn’t mind nick names, I mean they’re from his precious grandchildren after all.

Yahaba Shigeru: “When I was your age-”

The type to reminisce...you might even know what he’s talking about.

I don’t wanna say senile...

But he kinda goes senile y’know?

Gets a l l the girls at the retiring home though.

He also aged well, his hair has not changed, just it’s color lol

Has told the same story countless times, but each time his grandkids still enjoy it, whether if that’s for his enjoyment or theirs they’ll never tell.

He speaks very fondly of his volleyball days, and high school in general.

Plays volleyball with his grandkids, just for fun! Doesn’t teach them everything, but if they want to he’ll play negotiator with the parentals.

Goes by Pops, he rEFUsed to be called ‘grandpa’ it made him feel old.

Iwaizumi Hajime: “quIET DOWN” Grumpy old man

The old man all children are afraid of.

It’s not...intentional...

Okay it’s a LITTLE intentional. But he doesn’t make them cry or anything!

But Let me tell you, there will be n o t h i n g on Old Man Hajime’s lawn.

At one point some rowdy and punk teens started causing trouble on the street he lived on.

His solution was to sit on his porch and just...yell.

After years of being an athletic trainer and intimidating all those around him, he was made for this.

Those kids never stood a chance h a.

1,000% A good grandpa though. He’s very supportive of his grandkids, and is nothing but good and soft to them.

I see him as having been a stricter parent to his kids, but once his grandkids were born was just like ‘Your turn to be mean, I get to be the fun one now sucker’.

Goes by Grandad while the grandkids are young, but once they grow a little older they call him Old Man.

Futakuchi Kenji: Immature old man

If he didn’t look old, you would never have known he was 60+.

He does all the fun things with his grandkids.

Spoils them rotten and sends them home to his kids with a ‘Goodbye~’.

Definitely the type to fill them up with sugar RIGHT before they go home just to do it.

Despite his age if the family is all together and he’s asked/challenged, he’ll do what the kids are doing despite the knowing pain he’ll feel later.

One time his family and Aone’s family (...Futakuchi’s son married Aone’s daughter :0) had a little reunion and were playing volleyball. Even though it had been a *few* years since the two had played, they figured they’d do it ‘for old times sake’ as they had called it.

Ignoring the warnings from their wives and children they started playing.

And actually played quite well, and avoided any serious injuries miraculously.

Goes by Grandad

Daishou Suguru: Mean old man

He is brutal.

To everyone not his wife, kids and wonderful grandkids that is.

The type of Old man to tease and provoke everyone, then plays it off like he’s just some ‘crazy old man’ who can’t control what he’s saying.

He can, or he is very much capable of doing so but chooses not too.

He’s a fun grandad though. Has all his grandkid’s favorite games/toys and snacks always stocked.

If his kids ever mess up he is rUthLess.

Those are HIS grandbabies how dAre you.

Used to tease them (lovingly) about relationships.

...And then his eldest granddaughter started dating Kuroo’s oldest grandson...and due to the death stare his wife gave him he couldn’t do anything about it.

Had to ‘welcome’ the boy into the family, ugh gross.

Goes by Grampa (tHeRe’S a DiFfErEnCe oKaY)

#akaashi x reader #washio x reader #konoha x reader #kita x reader #suna x reader #ushijima x reader #yahaba x reader #iwaizumi x reader #futakuchi x reader #daishou x reader #Haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #haikyuufanfiction #y/n #hq headcanons #hq imagines

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boognish-worshipper · 3 years

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Midnight City AU

it took me forever to decide where to go with this chapter and i was literally getting fed up editing it 😭 i’ve been so busy with all the chaos goin on in my life rn too so yeah writing’s been feeling delayed over all but i decided to just finalize this one for rn and uhhh sorry if it seems funky or shortttt

//Chapter 3: Vanished

The next day, Trevor went back to Sterling Lake Park, after spending the night at Wade’s. He agreed to meet up with him there later, walking around the park with his earbuds in. As he threw himself down on his usual bench, he settled on listening to his usual playlist of his favorite songs. He scrolled through nosedivr once again, taking a photo of the lake. It was foggy, and the thick air sat atop the water. He liked when it was like that. A sturdy drumbeat thumped in his ears, making him feel whole. He paused it briefly, just to change it to a different song that was even louder, but with the lack of music he could now hear the crunch of gravel not too far away. He thought he told Wade to come later on? He looked up from his phone, pulling out an earbud. It was the guy from yesterday.

“Hey.”

“Hello.”

“Where’s Amanda?” He asked, glancing around.

“Uhh she’s.. not here today. I kinda came to see if you were here. I wanna get to know more people at this park if I’m gonna hang ‘round here more I guess.”

“But she doesn’t like me?”

“She don’t gotta know.”

“Well aren’t you Boyfriend of the Year.”

“Oh uh, we aren’t dating yet.”

“Thought she was your girl though.”

“She is, she is. But it’s nothing serious. Not yet. And I don’t know what happened between you guys but you don’t seem that bad, so if I wanna talk to you that’s more of a her problem than me.”

“Huh.”

Today Michael wore an eCola shirt, which was obviously made to resemble their old logo, with blue jeans. He had on a pair of red sneakers this time to match the color of the shirt. They looked slightly newer, compared to the pair he wore yesterday. He dressed nice for such a basic style. Trevor on the other hand, threw on an old, frayed Love Fist t-shirt, and messy jeans. He wore a different pair of boots, some kind of knockoff of a popular name brand. A pair of purple lensed circular glasses sat on his head, the nose pieces caught in his hair.

“So.. uh. Mind if I sit there?”

“Not like I own the bench or anything, go right ahead.”

He cautiously sat next to Trevor, hands in his lap. Trevor started one of his other playlists up again, settling on a mix of Paramore and Green Day. He left an earbud out, just so he wouldn’t be completely rude. He mindlessly scrolled, occasionally looking back at the lake or casting a sideways glance at Michael, who was looking at him funny. Sighing, he paused his music, putting his earbuds away.

“What.”

“I.. nothin’ man. I just, I dunno. What is the point of coming here?”

“It’s a public fuckin’ park man.”

“I know, but you said that you don’t even really like the people here, so what’s the point?”

“There is no ‘point’ to it. I just like time to myself is all. These guys don’t bother me, and I don’t bother them. They only start trouble when they see fit.”

“Ah… I see? What were you listening to by the way?”

Trevor stifled a groan, not really wanting to talk to the guy when he had time to freely plot his scheme.

“Pop punk shit. Ever heard of it?”

“Uh, no? I thought punk wasn’t supposed to be popular. Or fit in. Or whatever.”

“That’s merely the ideology, which I do follow, dear Michael. I just like the sound I guess. You know Paramore?”

“Not really. I don’t listen to that stuff much.”

“Then what the fuck do you listen to?”

“Not sure if it has a genre per say, but I like that song Radioactive goin’ around? Songs that sound like that I guess.”

“You like Imagine Dragons?”

“That’s what they’re called?”

Trevor could only stare at him. Was this guy living under a rock?

“Uh.. yeah. Y’know what- never mind, what else do you listen to?”

“80s music?”

No wonder this guy was unaware of who’s popular now.

“Amanda’s been trying to get me into groups like the 1975. I actually kinda like them.”

Trevor rolled his eyes.

“Of course she did.”

“They’re not that bad to be honest. She likes that weird alternative shit.”

“Yeah, I know. By the way, there is a name for that genre. Indie rock. Can’t stand the stuff.”

“How come?”

“You know, you ask a lotta fuckin’ questions.”

“I’m just tryna understand this shit here. I ain’t in the loop of all these trends.”

“Well, for your information I just find the style to be too slow and whiny for my taste. I like fast, upbeat, wild stuff.”

“Any recommendations then? I wanna impress Amanda by at least knowing one artist off that nosedivr thing she goes on.”

He raised a brow, not really wanting to share anything else knowing he would just repeat it back to her, but he shrugged and continued.

“Alright. Besides pop punk, I like experimental songs. Underground groups. Crystal Castles are my favorite.”

“Never heard of ‘em.”

“Wouldn’t expect you to.”

“Right.”

“If you want more indie rock shit though, I suggest listening to I don’t know, the Arctic Monkeys? That seems more like her taste.”

“These bands have such weird names.”

“I think bands have always been like that.”

“Hey wait a sec, I thought you didn’t like that stuff? How do you know the name of one of those groups?”

“Ugh… I guess I might as well say it if you’re gonna get with her, but we were friends at some point. She introduced me to those bands, but even then I didn’t really like it. We had a stupid falling out I’d rather not get into.”

“Oh.. sorry.”

“Eh, don’t be. Shit happens. You definitely seem like her type though, no wonder she got with you.”

“What’s her type?”

“Heh. As if I’d tell you.” He scoffed.

“C’mon man, please?”

“Nope.”

Michael frowned, slumping in his seat.

“Fine. Whatever. Not like I need to know.”

“You could at least pretend you don’t care.”

“I don’t.”

“You clearly do, bro.”

He sat arms crossed, turning a smidge away from Trevor. This was his opportunity to listen to his tunes again, but before he could Michael spoke up.

“Can I… can I listen to whatever you’re listening to?”

“Huh?”

“I wanna hear what you’re into.”

Trevor shot him a puzzled look.

“Uh.. okay.”

Wiping off an earbud, he handed one to Michael. He already had one in.

“Pick your poison cowboy.”

“Cowboy?”

“Just a nickname I give people.” He shrugged.

Michael settled on his experimental music, actually nodding along to the sound. They were closer than a minute ago, and it made Trevor uncomfortable for whatever reason. Maybe because he was never in such close proximity to strangers, but the other part of him didn’t care that much. Michael’s eyes were closed, smiling.

“You like it?”

“Yeah! Reminds me of synth stuff from the 80s, just more modern I guess.”

He smiled back at Michael, appreciating the fact there was someone else who liked the music he liked. The two listened to a couple different playlists he had, up until the moment Wade arrived at the park.

“Trevor! Hey!”

“Woah. Who’s your friend?”

“Hm?” He pulled out the single earbud, turning his head around. Wade had clown makeup on, making Trevor jump in his seat.

“Fucks sake. Hey Wade.”

“Ooh who’s this?”

He wasn’t sure if Wade freaked him out or not, seeing as the guy not only had matted locs, but many facial piercings as well. And the clown shit. He stood up to introduce them to one another.

“Wade, this is Michael. Michael, Wade.”

The way Michael looked at him was like a kid seeing a zoo animal for the first time. He looked bewildered, but not disgusted.

“Hi. What’s with the..?” He wavered a hand in Wade’s direction.

“Oh! It’s jus’ clown face. Not tryna scare ya or nothin’!”

“Uh huh… man. How have I never been around these parts? You guys are real different.”

“You got that right, Mike.”

“Seems like I’ve been missin’ out. I hangout with some dudes who would hate this place if I’m being honest.”

“I’ll have to meet ‘em sometime.” Trevor chuckled.

“They’re real cool guys. Didn’t expect our paths to cross, but anything’s possible in this fuckin’ city.”

“Oh yeah. Land of opportunities, for all types of wackjobs.”

“Ain’t that the truth.”

A hand tapped Trevor on the shoulder.

“Uh, excuse me, Trevor, but are we still gonna talk about the Merryweather thingy-”

“Wade! Shut it-”

“What Merryweather thing?”

“Nothing, nothing. Not important.” He said, gritting his teeth, glare strong on Wade.

“Okay..”

“But you said we’d talk about it over icecream!”

“Later, Wade. Not right now.”

“Fiiine. Can we still get icecream though?”

“Sure. Promise. I’ll let you know.”

“Okay! Bye Trevor, bye stranger!”

Michael lifted a hand to haphazardly to wave goodbye.

“What was that about?”

“I told ya man, nothin’. Just going over some plans we’re making.”

“Is it about that special event being held there?”

“How you know about that?”

“Mandy told me.”

“Mandy… yeah. Figures as much.”

“She got an invite, and wants me to go as her plus one. I don’t know if I really wanna go though, I’m still pretty unfamiliar with all this.”

“Trust me, you don’t.”

“Seriously, what is your beef with those guys?”

“I told you, they start shit when they want. Taught ‘em a lesson and that was it. Nearly got me banned from this place, but it was kinda worth the looks on their faces.”

“You are.. quite peculiar y’know. Anyway, you mind showing more of that music? I was honestly gettin’ a kick outta it.”

“Uh, yeah.”

He sat back down next to Michael, handing him the same earbud as before. He clicked on one of his favorite Crystal Castles songs, Vanished. As they were listening, Michael furrowed his eyebrows.

“Hey wait a minute.. I think I’ve heard this before.”

“You have? I thought you didn’t know them.”

“No, I mean yeah I haven’t, but that’s not it. The lyrics. Vocals. I’ve heard them in a different song.”

“Oh.”

“Lemme think, lemme think, ah… I got it! Pass me your phone real quick.”

His fingers typed in the song title fast, pressing play right away. It was an indie rock song, much to Trevor’s dismay. But something stopped him from complaining, seeing how Michael’s face lit up.

“Yeah! This is it, Sex City by Van She. Y’know, I honestly think that’s neat.”

“What is?”

“The fact that a song you like, samples a song I like! Who would’ve guessed?” He said, eyes sparkling. Trevor didn’t notice how bright they were until now. The eye contact, along with the lack of space between them, made him feel stuffy again. He averted his eyes back to his phone, trying to loosen up a bit. As the song played, he savored in the sound, shocking himself a bit. The rock sound was there, but had an 80s sort of feel to it. The song finished before he knew it.

“So.. What’d ya think?”

“You know my thoughts on indie shit. Wasn’t for me, sorry.”

“Oh c’mon, you know you liked it.”

“Nope. Prefer Vanished.”

“Yeah, okay. Keep telling yourself that, but I honestly think they’re both really good. You think that too, I can feel it.”

“Whatever you say bro.”

He switched the song over to that Grimes song he listened to yesterday, the two of them sitting silently. It was a pleasant afternoon they shared. Suddenly Michael’s phone went off, and he yanked the earbud out.

“Ah shit. I gotta take this. Mandy.”

“Gotcha.”

Trevor grabbed the other earbud, putting it back in. He saw Michael wave his free hand around, looking close to hurling his phone right into the lake. Trevor assumed he must’ve been shouting as well, from the way other people were looking at him. Hanging up not much later, he returned to the bench, as Trevor put his earbuds away.

“Fuckin’ Christ.”

“So.. how’d it go?”

“She’s finally not mad at me anymore, but demanded I go take her shopping now. I swear, she’s gonna clear out my bank account or something.”

“How? You guys aren’t even dating.”

“I know, but I just can’t say no to her.”

“Uh huh.”

“Look, I’m sorry to leave so suddenly, but I really gotta go before she goes back to being pissed at me. See ya around?”

“I’ll be here man.”

Michael stood up, storming away. Seemed like he had a short temper, huh? He wondered to himself how long he was gonna stick around, seeing how Amanda’s dating history was… an extensive list. He thought back to last night, when he had seen that post of them, remembering the fact that no guy stayed for longer than a week. It almost made him bummed, seeing as he only had Ron and Wade for friends. Lester too, but that was on rare occasion. Shit. The plans. What time was it?

“Ah, fuck me.” He muttered. How did he let the day go by so quick?

He shot a text to Wade, telling him to grab Ron and meet at some icecream place. He did promise Wade after all.

Ron ended up meeting them there a little bit later, apologizing profusely before Trevor told him to just sit down and shut up. He did just that, almost apologizing once more.

“Now, let’s get down to business. Who do we know that would help us sneak into that club to cause sheer utter mayhem?”

Ron raised his hand excitedly.

“I could get Floyd maybe-”

“Definite fuckin’ no. He would have a heart attack the minute he set foot in there.”

This was getting nowhere. He tossed his head back to look up at the sky. As he did, he saw a couple walking out of the icecream place.

“Oh fucking hell.”

Was this guy following him or something? He snapped his head forward, trying to be a little more hidden.

“What? Trevor what is it?”

“Shh! Keep your fucking voice down Ron!”

He made all three of them lower their heads as the couple walked away, peeking over his shoulder to make sure they were gone. As he did, he could’ve sworn he saw Michael looking back at him. The both of them turned away as quick as possible from the split second of eye contact.

“Trevor?” Ron repeated.

“It was nothing. Just thought I saw someone.”

“Ain’t that the Michael fella I met today?”

“Nope. Don’t think it is.”

“Are ya sure-”

“Pretty fucking positive. Now, back on topic.”

The next hour or so still went nowhere. Wade had gone through two servings of icecream, and Ron started to get restless. Trevor was just bored.

“Ughhh there has to be something we can do!”

“I don’t know what to tell you Trevor. We’ll find someone, soon. There’s enough time isn’t there?”

“Yeah, but I’m not waitin’ til the last possible fuckin’ second to get a guy to help us out here.”

“But we still have time.”

“If you fuckin’ say so Ron.”

The three of them called it a night, as Trevor tossed around the idea of possibly getting Michael involved in his head. On one hand he wanted to out of spite just to make Amanda and the other hipsters mad, and on the other he didn’t want to screw up whatever new friendship he had started with Michael. Ron did say they had time to find someone soon. They weren’t exactly in a rush, but he still wanted to make sure their plan was concrete. They all went back to Wade’s, Trevor deciding to take a walk along the beach. He threw on the same playlist from earlier, watching the sunset. As he walked, he didn’t pay much mind to where he was going, bumping into someone.

“Ah fuck, watch where you’re going-”

“Shit, sorry man-”

As they spun around from the collision, he realized exactly who he had run into.

“Trevor?”

What the fuck?

“What the fuck? Are you following me or something?”

“Huh?”

“This is the third time I’ve seen you today. What are you even doing here?”

“Uh, it’s a public fuckin’ beach man.” He said, mocking the comment Trevor had made earlier.

“Don’t get smart with me.”

“Hey, I’m just tellin’ you how it is. I didn’t purposely search for you, hell I didn’t even know you lived this way.”

“I do. So make like a tree and fuck off.” He said bitterly.

“Woah, chill the fuck out. What’s your deal? I thought we were cool man.”

“I don’t like being followed.”

“I just told you I wasn’t!”

“It doesn’t exactly seem like it. You just so happen to look for me this morning, and just happen to go to the same icecream place I went, and then I find you here? I mean Jesus-”

“I’m telling you, it’s all purely coincidence.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Fuckin’ hell man..” He mumbled.

“Y’know, you’re as fuckin’ stubborn as Amanda is. I already told you-”

Trevor balled his fists, before jabbing a finger into Michael’s chest.

“Don’t fucking compare me to her.”

Michael threw his hands up defensively, not realizing he touched a nerve.

“Woah woah, easy dude. I didn’t think it was that bad between you guys.”

He exhaled loudly, unclenching his hands.

“It wasn’t. Isn’t. Just.. don’t compare me to her.”

Michael pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling hard himself.

“Look, I think you’re cool and all but you can’t flip out on me like that. I mean we are just getting to know each other y’know. I can’t have you wanting to bite my head off like that if I just so happen to keep running into you. I really am just trying to navigate the area better, so forgive me if I came off as some sorta fuckin’ stalker. Amanda went home and I had nothing better to do so I chose to walk over this way.”

“Hmph. Fine. Whatever.”

“So we good?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Now, since we’re already here why don’t we just hangout or something?”

Trevor folded his arms, trying to look like he didn’t want to spend another minute with him. It didn’t really work though, because he actually did want to talk to him more.

“If you insist.”

“Alrighty.”

The two of them started to head in the direction of the boardwalk, neither one speaking yet. After finding a bench to sit on as the sun sunk below the horizon, the silence was still there. This sort of thing was bizarre for both of them in different ways. Michael never really frequented these parts of LS, and Trevor never really hit it off with any kind of stranger. Ron and Wade were exceptions if anything, and he had known Lester for a while now. Yet there was something about this guy that didn’t make him feel like he was spending time with a stranger, even though he knew jack shit about him. He might as well try to make small talk.

“So I-”

“So uhh-”

They spoke over each other while trying to start up a conversation, making things feel a little more awkward.

“Shit sorry, you go first.”

“Nah nah you go.”

“Um. Okay. So.. tell me about yourself? We haven’t really talked about much besides music.”

“Yeah.. right. What do ya wanna know?”

“I just asked you to tell me about yourself, so it’s your job to decide what to say.”

Michael gave him a sardonic smile in response to that, partly because he wasn’t sure what to bring up about himself. It seemed like they were gonna be here a while if they wanted to say the most basic shit you say when getting to know someone.

“Well, I ain’t that interesting if you really need to know. I’m guessing you already know about my whole ‘affinity for the 80s’ thing, like the culture n shit that came from it. Real sick stuff.”

“If you say so.”

“Yeah. Anyway, if you really want to know plain shit about me though, I will tell ya that my favorite color’s blue.”

Trevor snickered at that.

“Pfft, seriously? We’re talking favorite colors now?”

“Hey man, you said you wanted to know more about me.”

“Uh yeah, but that’s so fuckin’ silly.”

“Maybe it is, but what about you? You got one?”

“Favorite color? You kiddin’?”

“I’m waiting..”

“Uh huh… I’ll give. Always liked the color red I guess. Like, in variety. Not picky about something as childish as that.”

“What’s childish about that?”

“Cuz only kids exchange that whole ‘oh what’s your favorite color?’ thing. It’s like if I were to ask you what your favorite dinosaur is.”

“Hmm.. I’d probably say a T-Rex.”

“Oh now you’re just pulling my dick. And no, I’m not telling you what mine is just because you did.”

“Hey, I didn’t ask you though. That was all you.”

“Mm… shut it.”

“You got one though?”

“I’m not telling you!”

“Ah ah, I didn’t ask which one, I asked if you had one.”

“Well I don’t, so knock it off.”

“That’s fair. I won’t push.”

They grew silent for the second time that night, before Trevor mumbled something under his breath.

“It’s a pterodactyl..”

“What was that?”

He forced a breath through his nose, acting annoyed.

“It’s a fuckin’ pterodactyl. That’s mine. Okay?”

“Hah, okay. Any reason why?”

“You’re so nosy.”

“You’re the one who started this conversation about getting to know each other man.”

“Ugh, I know that.” He said, lightly shoving his shoulder.

“I think it’s cool that they could fly and shit. I like flying.”

“You like flying?”

“Loved it.”

“Wait, you tellin’ me you fly? Like, planes and shit?”

Trevor winced at the words, regretting what he just said.

“I did.. at some point. Air Force shit. They said I was one of the best they’d seen in a while but I.. left. Sort of.”

“Then why’d you leave?”

“I didn’t exactly leave on my own accord. More or less got kicked out.”

“How come-”

“I don’t like talking about it. I know we’re opening up or whatever the fuck but that.. that’s still too soon for me to want to bring up. Especially to someone I barely know.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He said, even though it really wasn’t. It’s not like Michael knew though, he really wasn’t trying to prod in a bad way.

It was almost pitch black by the time their conversation got to that point, only distant streetlight and the nearby pier lighting up their surroundings. The whole mood had shifted, and both of them decided to just break it off there.

“Hey uh, I’ll probably see you tomorrow man. If I’m with Amanda I think I’ll just send a wave or something your way.”

“Got it. See ya.”

“Bye.”

Trevor stayed put, watching Michael leave as he turned down a random one way street. This guy was tripping him out and he couldn’t pin point why. It was getting late though, and walked off himself back to Wade’s. He’ll save that vexed question for another night.

//ahhhhhh i rlly did not know what i wanted to do with this….,,., sorry if this wasn’t as good as the first two !! i alrdy know i repeated a bunch of stuff in there and i feel like it got kinda sloppy so again, soz (including typos or whtevr)

but uhhhh anyway yeah i cut it off here bc i wanted to continue some of this shit in the next chapter ig lol,, more stuff to come soon god willing

#gta v #grand theft auto v #grand theft auto 5 #trevor philips #michael townley #ron jakowski #wade hebert #midnight city au

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toorumochi · 3 years

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KaruShuu OTP Questions

Ah- I created ehhh 4?? I suppose KaruShuu head-canons posts today but do I regret it? Absolutely not, I loved it. So here you go, have another one, don't be shy, read it.

Also, please keep in mind that these head-canons are completely made up by me in a way of that it's just how I would see it sksksk also here, KaruShuu would be probably adults?? Also married??

Anyways, enjoy~ 🌸

Who is the most affectionate? Sinceee they got married, I'm sure the longer into the relationship, the more they have opened up to each other? Karma would be the type to wake up first in the morning and kiss Shuu good morning, but since Shuu is an early bird, he would wake up before Karma and make breakfast for him. Thats how he shows affection ❤️🧡

Most common argument? Sad to think that they NeEd to argue 🙄💅 but oh well- I thinkkk they would argue over super silly things. For example what to watch (If you have read my previous head canons, you will know what I mean by 'Shrek Marathons'):

"Let's watch something"

"Sure, what do you have in mind?''

Karma would just grin over to Shuu and Shuus eyes would widen, "Hell no"

"Absolutely ye-"

"Karma don't you dAR-"

They ended up watching (again for the 12 time this week) Shrek.

Who apologizes first? Karma apologies fly out of his mouth faster than they stop arguing. Karma would rather apologize than not let them talk for the next few hours.

Favorite (non-sexual) activity to do together? They enjoy getting massage! Ifff KaruShuu was too lazy to go out to get a professional massage for a few hours, they would do it to each other. (It usually ends with them making out later on but I'll delete that part)

Who is most likely to carry the other? Karma would carry Shuu ❤️😩 Ugh bridal style to embarrass him 💀💅

Nicknames?

For Karma, by Shuu: Tamponhead (I used this one in my fanfic and I will forever love it), Moron, Karma. Tbh, I don't think neither like these pet-names or nicknames since that think they are 'cringy'.

Tho, Karma has quite a few: Shuu (Main, he doesn't use 'Gakushuu' but when he does, Shuu melts lol), Pumpkin, Orange, pumpkin pie, Strawberry shortcake (bc he loves strawberries so why not call Shuu one 😌🤚🏻), Sugar cube (Idk I think it's cute, tho I don't know if that's even a nickname- 💀💀)

Also a note: They would definitely not use 'baby', 'babe', 'honey' bc- noooo 😩💀

Who proposes? Karma 💅

Who sings along with the radio? Karma would sing along but he is horrible at singing and Shuu makes him KNOW it by him singing and Karma shuts up but finds it hilarious at the same time.

Who worries most? Both do, depending on the situation. Shuu would be worried about stuff like paying taxes or things like that, meanwhile Karma is worried for Shuus health, if he is eating enough as well as getting enough sleep every night. Shuu is a hardworking bee after all ✨

Who always wants to take selfies with the other? Karma wants to, for example they are traveling somewhere for vacation and Karma wants to take as many pics as possible with his husband so he can later on put them into an album ❤️😩 (KaruShuu as a married couple >>>>)

Who likes to playfully tease the other? Ohhh~ Karma teases Shuu all the time, but there are times where Shuu would feel playful so he would tease back

Who has the weirdest taste in their music? Karma I'm begging you- his music taste changes every week and road trips are a disaster for Shuu

Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant? Karma remembers because Shuu is always ordering the same things since he is minimalistic lol but Karma is a living chaos when it comes to food so Shuu can't remember it all.

Who is embarrassed to take their clothes off in front of the other? Lmao no matter for how long they are already together, no matter if they are married, no matter how many times they had done it, Shuu would be the one to be embarrassed about it every time.

Who tops? ...Okay so here, personally as someone who writes Fanfics, Karma tops. Always. I just- I just can't imagine Shuu as a top?? my friends gave me some really valid reasons for Shuu to be a top but I just can't see it 😩

Who initiates kisses? Both I guess? But mostly Karma

Who reaches for the other's hand first? Oooo here an example! If they are driving in the car, and Karmas hand is free, Shuu usually reaches for it but as soon as Karma needs it to drive, he has to let go. Or if they are in the cinema - Shuu would definitely hold onto Karmas hand the whole time - as comfort, since they usually watch Horror movies together so yea 😌

Who kisses hardest? Who is most ticklish? Both is Karma, but when it comes to tickling, even tho Karma is more ticklish, he is also stronger than Shuu so he can easily pin him down and tickle him, just for the sake to see Shuu giggle which kills him bc God damnit isn't he adorable?

Who brings an animal they found home? Lol depends on the animal. I would say Karma is a cat person and Shuu is a dog person b u t Shuu is allergic to cats so they can't have cats. But I think if Karma would be the one to bring an animal home, it would be a dog.

Who holds the umbrella for the other when it's raining? Karma's shoe laces often get untangled, so when Karma bends to tie them, Shuu stands over him with an umbrella to keep the rain from pouring on him.

Who tries to playfully embarrass the other in public? Karma 😭

Who kills the scary bugs? Oh lemme tell you about this one:

Shuu HATES bugs, since he always had the feeling of his father having a bunch of centipedes around himself whenever he acted manipulative and so on so he hates them. So one time when Shuu was taking a shower, and Karma was in the kitchen, Shuu suddenly screeched so Karma went to check on him. He walked onto a Shuu, covering himself with a towel and looking absolutely T E R R I F I E D at the ceiling, stuttering. Karma was hella confused so he looked up and oop here we go, a spider. Karma obv took the spider off the ceiling to free it, but first he had to tease and scare his husband a little by walking towards the shower stall, "Shuu look~ He wants to be friends with you~", the way Shuu screamed at this made almost all of the windows in the apartment break.

Who asks the weird questions at random in the middle of the night? Karma does that on a daily basis, but when Shuu is a little bit drunk, he would ask weird questions to which Karma never has an answer but he jokes around.

Who hogs the blankets? Karma hogs them and Shuu ends up having a cold the next morning 😭

Who wakes up first? Shuu is an early bird, but Karma wakes up first for work.

Who wants to stay in bed just a bit longer? On weekends, they both stay in bed a bit longer to cuddle ❤️💕

Who always makes coffee for the other each morning? Karma makes coffee for Shuu before he leaves for work 🥰

Who cries during certain films or when reading sad books? Lmao Karma cries during Shrek every time the scene comes up where Shrek had an argument with Donkey 😔

Who gets scared during horror films? Shuu 😩😩 He would (as said before) take Karmas hand for comfort

Who tells their friends/family about the relationship first? Lmao none since GakuHOE is well, a hoe so they won't trust him b u t I have the feeling of Karmas mom being actually super supportive?? But they wouldn't tell her, she would just get the hint and then when she receives the wedding invite she goes "oh-".

What do their friends/family think of the relationship? Rio was shipping this since the beginning of middle school aight, she loves it and she even threw a party for them. #IstanRioNakamura

Who is more likely to ask the other to dance with them? Karma would ask Shuu to dance obv but Shuu would go along 😩💕

Who cooks best? Karma! And Shuu loves his cooking! :D

Who wears the other's jacket? Shuu is the one to wear long coats, and Karma those thicc jackets. Shuu usually gets super cold even with the coat on, so Karma gives Shuu his jacket on top of the coat lol.

Who uses cheesy pickup lines? Karma- anywhere. Have an example:

"Hey Shuu, could you feel the shirt?", he asked Shuu while they went shopping and Karma wAsN't sure about his T-Shirt choice so Shuu was running his fingers slightly over Karmas chest with the shirt still on and thinking about the material, then Karma went: "Know what it's made of?", and Shuu looked at him and was about to answer him, but Karma was quicker and continued, "Boyfriend material", ObViOuSlY with a grin and Shuu was a gay blushing mess 💅 but then Shuu went along, "What do you mean boyfriend? I can only see Husband material", and tuRNED AWAYYYYY~

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other's ear during inappropriate times? AAAA I T H I N K I've written sum like this before- So two things that happened:

KaruShuu were invited to a funereal or sum and pls the church was quiet and stuff but obv Karma had to joke around and he leaned over to Shuus ear and whispered a joke into his ear which made our stubborn Shuu giggle and the church was this close👌 to throw them out lmao

Shuu was at work, and Karma likes to call him randomly, but oh well Shuu picks up and Karma starts to tease him over the phone maybe something very sexual stuff (knowing Karma he would) and Shuu just- he is sitting at his desk and his workers are giving him looks about why is he blushing so much.

Who makes the other laugh most? Karmas jokes always make Shuu laugh, sometimes even cry since they are hilarious.

Who would have to bail the other out of jail? Oh my God- Shuu would have to bail Karma out of jail maybe during college years, but I think Karma would mature a bit more as an adult

What would be their theme song? YOOO- A WHOLE PLAYLIST WOULD BE NEEDED-

Who would sing their child back to sleep? OOO!! Karma would be the type to read stories, but Shuu would sing them to sleep :D

What do they do when they're away from each other? I can imagine that they both have those business trips from time to time, so when they are apart, they FaceTime each other every evening to check on each other. Yes indeed they must stay at fancy hotels for their business trips and they are being served food, but they still check that the other one is eating and sleeping well. Oh and good morning and goodnight texts™️🥰

A headcanon about them that stabs your feels? Oh- oH GOD- That maybe they tend to act very distant at first in their relationships?? Or more cold? For example Shuu, he would not really know nor show much affection to Karma and Karma at first thinking that Shuu doesn't love him at all (which isn't true bc Shuu loves him deeply) but then he after some time figures it out when Shuu opens up to him more.

A headcanon that mends the previous one? That they both after some time spend together, have the opportunities to open up to each other, know each other better as well as find out each others weaknesses and strengths which makes their relationship stronger. I absolutely love them ❤️😩

#KaruShuu #I wrote this for over 2 hours pls save me #I love them I will dedicate anything to them #Karma x Gakushuu #Karma Akabane #Karma #Akabane #Gakushuu #Asano #Gakushuu Akabane #Headcanons #assassination classroom #AssClass

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sarahjtv · 4 years

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BNHA Chapter 301 Spoiler Thoughts: Pain, More Pain, Extra Pain, EVERYTHING HURTS

I had to wait until the summary for this chapter came out to get my thoughts across and holy shit, my dudes... This chapter is so, so deep and adds a lot more to the Todoroki family than I thought possible. I’m still thinking about all of it as I’m typing this. But, writing is how I process things sometimes, so I hope this helps all of us:

The chapter starts off with a flashback to when Enji (I’m calling Endeavor by his real name here so long as we’re dealing with his family) proposing to marry Rei to Rei and her family. Rei is aware of the whole “Quirk Marriage” thing, but she accepts the proposal much to her family’s delight. What’s surprising here is that it’s implied that Enji expected Rei to say “No”. I’m honestly kind of shocked here too.

One, I thought because of the whole eugenics thing that Rei and her family would be taken aback by this. Back in the Sports Fest. Arc, I believe Shoto implied the that Endeavor bought Rei’s hand in marriage with money (it’s been a LONG time, so please correct me on this if I’m wrong). But they were actually ok with the idea of having Rei be married to a top hero like Endeavor. Rei seemed more reluctant though the fact that she said “Yes” maybe implies that she had legitimate feelings of love for Enji before shit hit the fan.

Edit: Ok, the fan translations are out. It’s said that Rei did this for the sake of her family. I still think she at least started to have legit feelings of love for Enji at some point.

Two, Enji didn’t expect Rei to accept his proposal. We all know that Enji’s intention was to have a kid that had a Quirk that possessed both fire and ice so that the kid could surpass All Might. Maybe Enji was looking for other women with ice Quirks before Rei and all of them before her turned him down. So when Rei accepted, Enji was shocked that someone agreed to what was basically his plan for the future.

The next page shows Enji and Rei on a walk in the park Rei looks at her favorite flowers and Enji asks if she likes them to which Rei says “yes”. Enji comments on how strong yet fragile Rei is. It’s such a small scene, but it tells the story so well visually. I can’t explain it well here, but I think this is where Enji started to see Rei as more of a person to love than something that can help achieve his goal.

Back to the present real quick, we go back to Rei confronting Enji. She came to see him because things are not okay and they need to face their family’s tragedy head on. At the same time, Dabi is reflecting on his life and doing his iconic monologuing about how he loved seeing Enji suffer. He wants the rest of his family to see how he suffered too. This further establishes how much Dabi wants to see his father be destroyed mentally. He wants him to reap everything he sewed. I’ll be damned if Dabi’s plan didn’t work. Also, Dabi is shown crying blood again as the panel transitions to the Todoroki household with the blood tear seeping into the next panel. God, I love Horikoshi’s panel structuring A+ stuff.

Back to the past, Enji stopped training little Touya. His fire Quirk was getting stronger, but so was the ice part of his body. Touya’s body was meant for the cold, but his fire Quirk counteracts that. So, Touya’s ultimately harming himself. This reveals to us that Enji didn’t really stop training Touya because he wasn’t the “perfect specimen” for his plan. It was mainly because Enji cared about Touya enough that he didn’t want his son to harm himself anymore than he already has. Enji abused his kids and wife, sure, but he wasn’t always a bad man. He did love his family before something snapped.

Also, real quick, but there’s a panel that shows Touya’s hair getting progressively whiter. Specifically the left side of his head. He looks like the opposite of Shoto actually and I bet you money that that was done on purpose. Symbolism, my friends.

The next panels shows little Touya and Fuyumi (AWWW 🤍) talking a bit. Touya’s upset that their dad won’t train him anymore while Fuyumi just doesn’t want her brother to get hurt. Touya says that girls wouldn’t understand (he’s a kid here, so I’ll let this slide). It hurts to see how Touya misunderstand the situation here. I think he ultimately wanted to have love and acceptance from his father via training to make Enji proud. But training only caused Touya pain. Pushing Touya away for his own safety ended up making things worse.

I actually can’t describe what happens next (I've seen the panel, but it hasn’t been translated fully yet), but it has something to do with Rei trying to convince Enji not to do something in particular because it would be too cruel. Touya continued to train alone and he kept getting scars on his skin every day because his ambitions are just as strong as Enji’s. He didn’t know when to give up. In the end, Enji knew that Touya couldn’t surpass All Might and he tried to get Touya to give up his ambitions so that he would stop hurting himself. I think this is where Enji’s drive to have a kid to surpass All Might started to take over his love for his family. I want to comment more on this part, but I think I’ll have to wait until the full chapter comes out. I’ll add an edit when I read it. It’s a painful, sad page regardless and I want to cry 😢.

Edit: Ok, I’ve read the translations for this page and it’s still not entirely clear what “cruel idea” Rei and Enji are talking about here. The best I can take I can think from this is that Enji did think that having more kids would solve the problem; it would help Touya give up the idea of surpassing All Might. The panels get darker and darker too, which shows how dark all this has become.

Next, Natsuo is born and he was so ADORABLE!!! 💙 Fuyumi looked so happy to have a little brother ❤️ But, Touya looks devastated; like he’s been replaced again. My heart hurts so bad for this kid. All he wanted was his father’s attention, but Enji seemed to have moved on from him and had more kids instead. Almost like having more kids would solve the problem... ugh...

As time goes on, Enji gets angrier at All Might’s success (btw, seeing All Might drawn in his buff form again makes me nostalgic) and Rei becomes more fearful. The summary states that Rei stopped “looking” at Enji at some point. I think this is the point where Enji drive to create a perfect child completely took over his life and his family’s lives. Even so, I think we need an explanation of when exactly Enji snapped and changed into the abusive man we all knew and how that exactly came to be. We got hints in this chapter, but I think we need a full explanation.

AND SHOTO WAS BORN HE WAS BABY 💙🥺😭 Crying into the world he came into like most newborns do. I want to love him and take care of him 💙💙💙 Look, Shoto’s my favorite character in the series and we need some good vibes in this depressing chapter, so please let me have this.

But, my god. The faces on Enji, Rei, and Touya are haunting. I honestly can’t really describe it. It’s just so unsettling. Enji looks like he’s glad he’s finally “created” the perfect child, Rei looks exhausted, and Touya is even more devastated than before. The panel lines are all distorted too which drives the mood home.

Touya continues to train on his own to prove himself to his father. He’s burning himself more and he looks like he’s loosing his mind. I’m not exaggerating; Touya actually looks like he’s going crazy. Enji is tying to convince Touya that they’re more to the world than being a hero like playing with his siblings and making friends at school. But, Touya can’t because, as he says, “I’m your son”. Despite Enji probably focusing primarily on getting ready to train Shoto at this point, he still cared enough about Touya to where he wanted him to have a life outside of heroism. Though that could also be because, again, he’s turned his focus on Shoto instead (this family is a mess). And Touya being so driven to have his father pay attention to him is heartbreaking. No kid should have to go through this.

And then he activates his Quirk to attack baby Shoto. Lil’ Fuyumi’s protecting Lil’ Natsuo and Rei is holding onto Lil’ Shoto 😭. Rei wants to help cool him down with her Quirk, but Touya “fire” Enji lit can’t be put out. Touya’s too far gone. He even stops calling Enji “father”; he says “look at me, Endeavor” instead. Everything about this makes me sad, man. Touya’s love for his father turned into what he thought was abandonment, which turned into mad jealousy for his baby brother. Though Enji did light Touya’s fire, it was Touya himself who ultimately drove himself insane. Touya helped create Dabi, it wasn’t all Enji Todoroki’s doing.

And finally, the flashback ends with Rei stating that Enji isn’t the only who’s suffered, but he’s also not the only one who didn’t look at Touya. This implies that Rei shares the blame for letting Touya turn into Dabi. I do wonder what Rei didn’t do that helped Touya’s transformation. I doubt she neglected him entirely, but maybe she wasn’t paying attention to him as much because of her other kids and her declining mental state. I can’t comment on this very much with the lack of details, but i do hope things get answered soon.

Edit: I’ve thought about this a bit more. Rei was/is a good mother and she’s a badass in her own right. She never meant to harm her kids. But, based on that dark panel before about Enji thinking of a way to get Touya to give up the idea of being a hero, Rei did agree to Enji’s plan in the end. She decided to have more kids with him until they got the perfect child in Shoto. Why did she agree, we don’t know. That detail isn’t there just yet. I bet we’ll get it in Pt. 2. Again, Rei isn’t a bad person, but she did play a part in Touya’s downfall. Which, of course, makes things all the more sad.

Lastly, it’s stated that Rei came from a prestigious and noble family called Himura. It’s a small detail, but it’s shows that Shoto and his siblings basically came from royalty. Ha, Shoto really is a prince 👑! It would explain those damn good Todoroki genes 😳😍. Oh, and the kanji for “Hi” in Himura means icicle, ice, hail, freeze, etc. so Horikoshi’s playing with names again.

Quick Edit: Turns out this part with Rei’s maiden name is actually at the VERY BEGINNING of the chapter LOL. Either the image leaks got scrambled or the summary found this panel last. Whoops...

Hoo boy, I think that’s it. Really heavy chapter full of more layers and details about the Todoroki family that we didn’t get before. This is honestly one of the best storylines in the series and I’m so glad to see it come back to the forefront again. Horikoshi has handled this particular story so, so damn well I can’t help but be impressed. I think, ultimately, the Todoroki family fell apart and became more and more tragic over time. Amazingly, it wasn’t entirely Enji’s fault like we originally thought. Yes, he was a big reason as to why everything happened the way it did. His redemption does not excuse his years of abuse and neglect towards Shoto, Rei, and Touya especially. But, Touya and maybe even Rei had a part in this. I hope whatever Rei did or didn’t do isn’t so bad that we immediately put her into a bad light. I hope it boils down to “she’s human”. Though, Touya did ultimately drive himself to insanity. He didn’t accept his father’s suggestion to stop training. He only pushed himself further to the point of jealousy. God, he tried to kill baby Shoto at one point. We can dissect this family’s story for months and still find something new. This chapter was called “Mischief of Fire - Part 1″ which means we’re definitely getting more. I’m going to sit here and process all this in the meantime. Anyone got any ice cream to go with my tears and pain from BNHA angst?

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fakeloveaskblog · 3 years

Note

Huff! Self-reflection time, then. That's what we're doing here. Okay, Virgil. Like I said, if you need it I'll give you a burner phone, and whatever the reason thanks for listening. First off, I'm glad that you apologized. You still did say something bad (something objectively horrible in fact) about your partner that wasn't true, but you knew that, this time you recognized it as something bad. And that's… that's progress, i-it's something, I'm proud of you for that.

Second off: yes. Please start by yelling a bit less, if you can. Wanting to change for the better (or, not being completely against it, for their sake or otherwise) is a good thing. It's a step in the right direction. I'm glad you're willing to take it, it means… there's hope yet, somewhat. (We need to talk about the toxic codependency here still, on both sides, and what you feel that led you to call them what you called. *side eye* But that's another can of worms entirely and I won't get into it now.)

1/2

He sat crosslegged on the bed with his chin leaned against his partner’s pillow as your voice went through the room. It wasn’t as painful for his ears this time. He had somewhere between a pout and sneer on his lips as he listened to you. Like all he was was a teen being scolded.

“I....I do say sorry pretty often. Most times I only say it because I know it will make Remy forgive me faster but sometimes I do mean it” He glanced away “But ehm thanks. I guess”

For a moment there was a small really small smile on his face before you continued on and he proceeded to roll his eyes so hard they nearly went back into his skull.

“Hope for me yet??? I can’t decide if you’re making me sound like an edgy anime villain or air supply but sure whatever”

Virgil laid down on the bed wit his back pressed against the mattress. He placed the pillow right on top of his face and let out a loud groan.

“All this imaging scenarios ugh. It sounds like those bullshit exercises Dr. Picani makes Remy do. And it’s not even helping them! I mean it’s not like they’re getting any better! imagining some fake fucking stuff won’t make me yell at- won’t make me get annoyed at them any less!”

The moment you mentioned Remy’s father his body tensed. He moved the pillow aside and leant on his elbows to somewhat sit up. He pretended he was looking right at you.

“I wish I could have stabbed him before his liver killed him. That’s what I think about him”

Virgil could remember exactly the way Remy’s whole demeanor would change the moment they heard a car outside the house whenever they were over at their place. The hurried goodbye before they ushered him to leave was ingrained in his memory. The way he’d seen them start to go into their zoned out dissociated shell before the door even had time to fully close.

“I don’t- I don’t have to imagine him making them cry okay. They used to- they would cry without making a single sound. Even around me. It was just tears and silence. It was- it was horrible. At least when I- At least around me they cry loudly! Doesn’t that show an obvious difference!”

A deep void formed in his chest as you went on. It felt empty, like the wind could go right through him. He remembered how Remy had suddenly gone quiet. Suddenly no new messages. No sight of them at school. Not even in the woods with all the other junkie teens. He thought they were dead. He thought their father had actually killed them this time. He hadn’t known about the accident yet.

His eyes somehow met yours when you told him to imagine their father doing what he himself had done. There was a kind of anger going through his veins he didn’t even recognize.

“Do-don’t fucking compare me to him! Even in imagined ways! I know exactly how I feel about him yelling at them and him being so loud in- in hurting them the neighbors knocked. Because I don’t have to imagine! It happened-”

His breathe got stuck in his throat as he realized what you meant. His eyes darted around the room. The anger was pressing onto his skin until it felt like he was burning.

“It’s not the same! I’m not- I’m- I’M NOT LIKE THAT! I’m not like him! At all! I would never hurt Remy like he did! They still have nightmares from him! He ruined everything! He ruined them! And ruined everything they tried to make for themself! An-and it- IT’S NOT THE SAME! WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT THIS! WE DON’T KNOW YOU! YOU’RE JUST- YOU’RE”

The insults died on his tongue. Only partially to unknown forces not letting him yell what he wanted to yell.

“I would never” He dragged in his sleeves while keeping his eyes down, as well as his voice “I would never hurt Remy like he did. I would never lay my hand on them. I would never hurt them. It’s different. It’s different because- because- I would never- I wouldn’t do anything their father did- ever- because- he’s horrible. He’s a-abu-abusive. He was. I would never-”

Virgil looked over to his black hoodie hanging on the closet door. Remy had sewed the same purple patches they always did with his hoodies if he asked. he didn’t even have to ask nicely.

He glanced over to the fashion magazines laying on the floor beside Remy’s side of the bed. They’d been taped together after he ruined them. He’d ripped them apart after yelling at them until they were sobbing on the ground. He had just needed something to destroy. Something to ruin aside from them.

It took a long while until Virgil spoke again. He sat on the bed with empty eyes staring out into nothing. Finally he moved to lay down. He moved the blanket over his shoulders.

“I-I’m feeling a bit nauseous” He didn’t look at you as he said. He had his back turned “I- I think I’m going to sleep now”

#working on a mini fic C:#ask #thanks fotr the ask (:#sanders sides #glad people are noticing how codependent both of them are (: give remy and remus some time and their already toxic friendship would probs #turn codependent as fuck

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youralternantpersonality · 4 years

Text

The Altar

Seth x reader: The Altar

WARNING: Sad af.

***

August of 1998—Pre-K

“HEY! Leave him alone!” Y/n pushes Leo, another kid in your grade, off the new kid at school.

“Y/n! What have I said about pushing other students?” Ms. Carmichael says, going up to Y/n.

“But he was hitting him! And no one was stopping it!” You yelled, stating facts to the wretched woman. She shakes her head and reaches to grab the new kid on the ground.

“Are you okay Seth?” The teacher helps the kid up. He nods his head and looks at you with a smile. “Well then, Seth, Y/n, Leo, follow me. The principal waits for you.” We follow the she-beast and you wait for your punishment. As you’re sitting outside waiting for Leo to get done with his lame of excuse, you sneak a conversation with the kid named Seth.

“Hey, Seth, right?” he looks at you with wide eyes and nods his head. “You okay? Fat butt in there is mean to everyone and tends to hurt the smaller kids.” He smiled at the name.

“I’m okay. Thank you…”

“Y/n, Y/n Y/L/n. at your service sir.” I said with a smile with a missing tooth. He smiles back.

“Woah, you already lost a tooth?”

“I lost three. See!” Y/n proceeds to show him your mouth and all your missing teeth.

“Woah…I’ve only lost two. And they’re a pain in the” looks around, “butt.” They both laugh at the word butt.

“Wanna be my best friend?” Y/n ask randomly.

“SURE!” he says with excitement.

“Ms. Y/L/N, Mr. Clearwater! No talking!” Said the receptionist.

“Sorry.” They said in unison, looking at each other trying to not laugh.

October of 2007—7th grade; Halloween

“Oh, come on Seth! Tell me! Please…I’ll be your best friend!” Seth stops, looks at me with a grin and a side-eye.

“Y/n, we’re already best friends. What!?” he laughs, bumping shoulders with you.

“Okay, yes. But come on. Just tell me!”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“…”

“Vampire.” I look at him with a blank face. Then start laughing.

“Ugh, this is why I didn’t want to tell you.” He starts walking away.

“No, sorry. I wasn’t laughing at that. I was laughing at the fact that we were almost going as the same thing dum-dum.” He stops and smiles.

“Really?” he smiles.

“Yes. I was debating as a witch or a vampire. So, since you’re the vampire, I’ll be a witch.” You smile next to him. You were low-key laughing at it, but seeing as it is Seth, and anytime he looks anything but happy always hurts you, you could never laugh at him for certain things. He wraps his arm around your shoulder and you guys walk home to get ready.

“Bet I can beat you to my house.” He says pulling you down and taking off.

“NO FAIR!” you state chasing after him.

Summer of 2010—Before 10th-grade year.

Nothing. No call, no text, not even visitation. I had gone over to the Clearwater’s house yesterday, only to be turned away by Harry.

“Sorry Y/n, Seth still isn’t well.” Sue standing behind him with a sad look on her face.

“Can you at least tell him I stopped by, and to call me? I’m worried about him.” You say with tears in your eyes. Desperate to hear from your best friend and crush. You had developed hard feelings for the small raven head boy. He was everything to you always but was more before 8th-grade year. You didn’t know or understand what was happening, but you knew your feelings for Seth were nothing but genuine strong feelings.

The funny thing was you knew he felt it back. Those times where you two would get lost in each other’s eyes, the times where a kiss was almost shared but rudely interrupted by the arguments of Leah and Sue over trivial things. The slight touches and spark that flew between the two. Not even a blind person could miss the way you two responded to each other. Hell, your moms would secretly plan your wedding to one another. They even created a budget for the both of you for damn sakes!

But at that moment, it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that boy you’ve always loved was okay. And if you could get one word from him, everything would be fine. You saw Leah coming to the front door about to head off somewhere. She stops and looks at you with a defeated look on her face.

“Y/n/n. I was just heading out. Let me walk you home.” You knew, since childhood, not to question the girl who was, basically, your older sister. She always protected you and, unknowing to her, you idolized her. Her strong will and strength you gained came from watching Leah. You looked down and nodded your head and followed her. At your porch step, she finally said something that broke you to pieces.

“You and Seth are done. I’m sorry Y/n, but…Seth…he’s not the Seth you know. I’m sorry.” She says, running off somewhere. Your eyes followed her until she became blurry with tears. You started to hyperventilate and didn’t want to be home. So, you dropped your bag and ran. You didn’t know where you just ran in the opposite direction and didn’t stop until you were on the edge of the forest. You recall Harry telling you to never step into the forest after a bunch of people from Forks have gone missing. And abiding by his rules, you don’t. You find a spot near the tree line and let it out. You stay there for a while and let all the tears fall as the warm summer rain hits your skin.

May of 2012—Senior year; Graduation day.

After that faithful day where you cried near the forest, you vowed to try to get Seth to talk to you. You were determined to have him to say something, anything, about what the hell was going on. But all you got was the cold shoulder, a growl, or his friends telling you to back off. He wouldn’t even look at you. You became bitter and he became a thing of the past. Your feelings for him came to a halt as you lost touch with the boy you’ve always loved.

It finalized in the middle of the first semester that year. You decided to wait sometime after Harry’s death to return everything. Even at the funeral, he avoided you. It was then, your feelings harden, and everyone could see it. So, it was no shock to Sue when you came by to return his things in exchange for yours. Since he wasn’t home, you took that chance to do so and left without saying a word, a note, or anything. Plus, you doubt he would’ve noticed.

But he did. When he returned home that evening, he instantly knew you were in his room. He could not only feel it, but he smelt your fragrance, he smelt you. He noticed the trinkets, sweaters, and brush all gone. Some clothes you kept in the drawers, gone. Everything was gone. He then saw the box you left on his bed. He lifts the top only to discover everything he’d ever given you. A ring with a wolf on it that you only took off when you washed the dishes, took a shower, or was asleep. His sweaters and shirts he’d leave behind if he slept over. Hair ties you both shared; you guys had to color coordinate occasionally, he had red and you had purple.

On the floor, he noticed a bag of his shoes and clothes that he doubt he could fit any more. He looked at the stuff you returned and just stood there with his eyes closed and let the tears he had been holding in go. He hated everything that he was and everything that had happened. He hated Sam and his gag rule. He hated how because of this, his father died; he never blamed Leah, he blamed his genes. But most of all, he hated how he lost the love of his life, the woman he always saw himself with, who he wanted to marry, to grow old with. He hated how he lost Y/n. He was afraid to look; if she wasn’t his imprint, it would kill him. So, Seth just watched her from afar. He still looked after her when she didn’t notice. But he couldn’t risk it, even when his gut and friends told him to.

He felt two sets of arms wrap around him. Leah and Sue held onto him as he cried all of what he had been holding in. Memories of them since they were kids, those little moments of the almost that they had with one another. The time in 8th grade where he was ready to tell her that he loved her but chickened out when Kyle Graden asked her to the Spring dance.

“She’s gone.” Had been his final words before he broke down and let the pain ooze from him.

December of 2022—Y/n Wedding

“You’re going Seth, and that’s final,” Sue told her youngest cub as he begrudgingly got ready to go to the one celebration he wishes he could run away from. Y/n wedding. When they got the invitation, Seth pulled a Jacob and hightailed out of La Push. It had taken a month or so for him to get back, and when he did, he wasn’t him. He knew he had no right to stop it, he knew he had no say in anything. But it killed him finally having this day to come. A day he knew would come eventually. Her wedding day.

“Come on man. We know it hurts, but you guys haven’t seen each other in, what, 10 years. She’s probably changed! You may realize that she was just a crush and nothing more.” Paul says, attempting to be helpful. Seth cracks a noticeably fake smile and just gets up to go to the ceremony that is being held at the nearby chapel.

Once there, they guys situate in the back and carry on a conversation while Seth looks around the place. He laughed to himself, if he remembered correctly, which he did, he knew this wasn’t Y/n idea of a wedding. It was Christmas themed, with sparkles and fake snow everywhere. You hated the idea of holiday-themed anything (especially Christmas). The overrated holiday, along with Valentine’s Day, bothered you. So seeing this Winter Wonder Land shit, made him realize, this wasn’t you. At all.

“Yeah, Y/n/n did not plan this wedding,” Leah said next to Seth. Only validating what was Seth’s inner monologue. You then herd the music start and the bridesmaid and groomsman walk next to one another towards the front of the church. The groom waiting up there for Y/n; Seth loathed him. A hand was placed on his shoulder by Sam, who made him realize that this isn’t the time nor place. Seth continues to watch the scenery as the flower girls throwing sparkles and peddles on the ground. Leah gagging at the girly-like shit they both knew you hated. Then, the music tempo changed, and the pastor motioned us to rise.

Y/n walked next to her dad down the aisle and from what Seth could see, you were a sight to stare at. Pictures were being taken and smiles were being drawn your way as you continue to the piece of shit you were to marry.

“Yeah, she really had no control. She always hated cake topper dresses.” Everyone nodded at that. You may not have known or met pack, but from what they could tell from the memories Seth and Leah had and when they watched you from afar, they knew you hated the bullshit of the wedding you were having.

The wedding continued, vowels where said, and a kiss was shared. But that’s not what broke Seth, no, out of everything, it's not what killed him. When you turned after being pronounced as Mrs. Forayed, somehow, by the universe screaming, Seth was hit with the realization of his mistake. Air left his body as he fell dead weight to the seat beneath him. The second your eyes locked, everything slowed down, time stopped, even your heart skipped a beat. There was no one in that room except you two and the shadow of regret clouding over him and the love breaking through your heart for the boy you love.

“Seth…Are you-” Jacob said.

“It was her…” Everyone looked at one another, then at you. Your eyes didn’t leave that spot and you felt something stir within you. The arm wrapped around your waist pulled you back to reality as you faked a smile at your husband. Feeling bad that it is not him you want but knowing that you can’t turn back.

Seth left in a hurry, leaving everyone without a second thought. While in the car on her way to the reception, a howl in the distance could be heard.

If only he looked at her once, it would have been them at the altar.

#sethclearwater #sethclearwaterxreader #seth clearwater x reader #seth clearwater twilight #seth clearwater #twilight #twilightsaga #twilightwolfpack

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subtlereferencetomyinterests · 4 years

Text

I Taste Honey but I Haven’t Seen the Hive - Chapter Six

Ao3, Masterpost, C.1 C.2 C.3 C.4 C.5

Relationships: eventual queer-platonic intruality. platonic dukeceit, creativitwins, and dlampr.

Yet again there are no italics. its new years eve sue me. oh also happy 2021 nobody question my priorities thanks <3

Warnings: so much softness, implications of self-isolation, swearing, Lots of Feelings, sympathetic everybody, descriptions of the sides having non-human features.

Word Count: 3,962

Something Remus came to realize was that he, a bit paradoxically, was not used to people being in his space.

It was weird. Not weird in the way that people usually felt when he was the one interrupting- he wasn’t scared by it, or disgusted, or even really annoyed. It was just… surprising, to have somebody else hanging around him, unprompted by anything.

Remus wasn’t known for having boundaries- or respecting them, for that matter- but he’d at least been attempting to restrain himself just a bit after being accepted by the others. Out of courtesy, if nothing else.

And apparently he didn’t need to. Not after what happened with Patton, anyway. Now that Patton had deemed the two of them ‘close’- something he was absolutely happy to agree with, for the record- Remus’ world had flipped sort of around. Back to no boundaries, only he wasn’t the one crossing those lines, and nobody was running screaming. Least of all Patton!

Remus ran the thoughts over in his head, feeling like that day was shaping up to be a great example of the change:

He and Patton were sitting side-by-side in the living room, content, with the rest of the sides spread around in different seats and configurations just the same. The unlikely pair were at the fringe of the circle, close enough to be part of things but far enough to zone in and out at will (as both were prone to do). It was nice, amiable.

But minutes before- forty of them at most- Remus had been up in his own room, happily dissecting some gooish creations and only vaguely aware that there was a meeting that day. His attendance to group meetings varied from week to week- sometimes he was bored and could use an argument, and other times he was having fun on his own and knew that it wouldn’t be all that important if he ditched. He joined more often than he used to, sometimes he was even asked for, but he was optional still. A favored option, suggestions taken now, sure- but still not mandatory.

He was going to stay upstairs for that one, but Patton had come to get him. Had dragged him down in that sweet, puppy-dog way of convincing that worked so well and, knowing him, was totally unintentional. And even if Remus didn’t care about arguing his way through content production right then, Patton had promised that it was important for him to be there.

That was the word he’d used for Remus. Important.

How the hell could Remus say no to that?

At least the meeting was going by without a hitch, for once. He assumed it was- Remus was honestly paying very little attention- but the lack of anger or tension was practically palpable. These things were usually so spiteful that even Remus, renowned lover of chaos, could almost taste his headache when everybody started shouting and hissing and fighting. It just got sad.

But not that time, apparently.

As Logan went on his third ramble of the evening, smiling widely at a surprising lack of interruption, Remus turned to Patton. He whispered:

“Okay, when are they gonna snap? Did they all finally get lobotomized?”

Patton frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean where’s all the screaming and crying? Specs and Prince Priss haven’t had a single one of their horny yelling matches, what gives?”

Patton smiled in a way that said he was trying very hard not to laugh, rolling his eyes.

“These meetings have calmed down a bit, I guess,” he shrugged.

Remus glanced around the room with narrowed eyes. While that certainly seemed like the truth, he couldn’t buy it.

“Yeah, I give it until one of them vaguely insults the others, and then everybody’s gonna shut down for the next week. That kinda tension doesn’t just go.”

Patton didn’t say anything. Half-gazing at the carpet, he didn’t look like he’d even heard. He was smiling, but it was one of those jumbled up expressions, the type that tried to span a hundred different feelings. He had so many expressions like that, that seemed bottomless and swirling and so intricate on a humanoid face that, in reality, wasn’t built to display something like that. It was uncanny- not like an eerie doll, but like something with unearthly beauty. This face, though, had tones of upset.

“It’s been a while since you’ve been around everybody,” Patton said.

It wasn’t a question and it didn’t need to be. While Remus wasn’t exactly known for keeping to himself, he couldn't be called sociable either. He dropped in to say something, usually random, and then he was gone as soon as he’d visited. Even before the first Patton incident, fuck, it had been weeks since he’d actually stuck around through something.

Since The Acceptance, now that Remus thought of it, he’d been spending more time alone than ever. Not all of his time- he remembered being surprised at Logan talking to him, willingly, like friends, and after that had even come Virgil and Roman. He saw people, talked to them, yeah. The time spent was friendlier, more welcoming, but it was so much less.

Well, it was obvious why: they visited him, but- like he’d mentioned, he’d been trying to give them some space.

“Sure, it's been awhile,” Remus admitted, “But I never expected shit to change so much around here, still.”

The haze on Patton’s face thickened like fog on the moors, a soft and sympathetic mist over his eyes that Remus knew was aimed at him (even if it was pointed more to a sort of middle distance).

“I don’t think I did, either,” Patton’s mouth barely moved, his voice less of a whisper and moreso a fragile breath. “I was hoping for it, but… I’m still trying to get used to stuff being allowed to change, you know?” He picked at a loose thread along the seam of the couch. “I haven’t done this stuff in a while, either.”

Remus’ head shot up, and he almost forgot that they weren’t the only two in the room. Somehow, he stopped himself from shouting:

“You- it has?”

A tiny smile. Something built up behind Patton’s eyes; a wave, dark and lonely and filling his bright blues with cloudy gray. “I just needed some alone time, after everything changed so much so fast. I still feel, I dunno, weird. I don’t know what’s wrong with me- but…” he swallowed, his head lifting. “I’m really happy for them,” he was staring- so very loving- first at Logan, then Roman, then Virgil and Janus. It was a wonder none of them felt his gaze on them, Remus thought, because he was sure if anyone looked at him that way, he’d burn up like a fae upon iron. “They deserve it so much. I know that not everything is perfect still, but, I’m just so proud of us anyways. I- I think maybe-”

He cut himself off, blinking rapidly. Remus gave the room a quick once over to make sure nobody was looking their way- and nobody was: Virgil was very resolutely trying to get everyone to stay on topic despite Janus and Logan’s continued tangenting, and Roman was scribing furiously on several different pieces of paper- before he inched close enough to curve his arm around Patton. Touching like that had steadily become familiar to both of them, and it didn’t take long for Patton to fall untense against his side. He leaned into him, muttering: “I mean, they’re all doing a lot better than me, that’s for sure. I- I don’t even know what I’m for anymore. Maybe that’s why I’ve been… ditching, really.”

Remus squeezed his shoulder. There were so many things he could’ve said and done, but all of them loud and fervent and definitely not subtle enough to go unnoticed by everyone. So, for the sake of Patton’s privacy, he settled on this:

“That makes two of us, Morey.”

The meeting that was planned to take two or three hours took the entire day, just as always. Hours and hours were spent in a room filled with excited conversation, of which the subject oscillated wildly between relevant topics and complete nonsense- which Remus and Patton did, eventually, tune back into (and contribute to as well, mainly in the nonsense department). Eventually, even Virgil gave up on trying to keep anything in order.

But the meeting ended on a good note anyway. Lots of good notes, actually, if the stacks upon stacks of paper they’d scribbled up were any indication. Mess, the sides had come to believe, was usually a measure of their productivity: if crumpled pages were strayed across the room, if forgotten pens and pencils balanced on every surface from coffee table to TV stand, and if- in the process of snacking- they’d accumulated enough dishes to fill the sink for days on end? Shit. Got. Done.

Remus stared over the chaos with unfocused eyes. He felt distantly proud of the stormish state the living room was in. Draped over the back of the sectional, he gnawed idly on a wood pencil, stripping its yellow into beige. The paint fell off in bitter chunks, and the taste made him think of grabbing some non-acrylic dinner before closing the night off. Maybe he’d steal some of whatever saccharine sweet Patton usually made in the late evenings, and then spend the rest of the night with him, anyway. Remus debated what would be the most fun (or if he was tired enough to sleep yet), partially aware as he did so that he’d chewed and swallowed the metal-eraser end of his pencil.

“Ugh,” a drawn out groan broke his thoughts, petulant and whiny. “Do you have any intention of helping us clean up this, the common area?”

Roman was kneeling beside Janus on the carpet, the pair surrounded by papers and binders and trashbags, the former of which they were sorting into either of the latter two, depending on how useful each page was. Roman had stopped working, however, to stare up at Remus indignantly. Remus glared right back.

“I’ve never had an intention in my life,” he answered.

Janus shrugged, smiling in that I-told-you-so way at Roman. But Roman, ever the nuisance, wasn’t letting it go.

“Come on! It’s not like you’re even doing anything!”

“I’m doing something,” Remus’ words were wide and wobbly as he stripped another line of paint off the pencil, breaking some splinters off into his teeth.

“Oh, really?”

“Yes,” another chunk of wood, down the hatch. “I’m flaying all these leftover pencils until they’re lead-sticks.”

Roman hopped up from the floor and dropped himself onto the couch, shoving himself into the way so jarringly that it reminded Remus of himself.

“Well, now you’re going to help us clean.”

Janus rolled his eyes, not even glancing up. “Roman, just leave it alone, we-”

“We are all parts of this whole now, including him! Remus-” Roman rounded on him again, “If you’re going to come down here and help us make all this mess, with all of your numerous contributions that we have to write down, you’ll help clean it like anybody else. Do you think that I like any of- of-” he gestured, flamboyantly, at the room, “This? Ugh, please, I’m a prince! But, fair is fair, and fair means everybody.”

And that was the point of the conversation in which Remus would cackle, push Roman backwards off the couch, and proclaim how much it’d go against his very being to clean a mess instead of cause it. He’d tell Roman how funny it was that he thought he could boss him around, because it always had been- that full-of-it Older Brother kind of attitude that had never worked. The Prince had never once managed to get him to do anything, and each attempt only got funnier than the last.

He didn’t say any of that, though.

Roman was bitching at him, not to go away this time, but to stay. Stay and help the group, because he was a part of said group. So he was asked to help them, the group that he was a part of, because he was part of it. That group.

“Okay,” he blurted, “Okay, I’ll- alright.”

Roman blinked at him, a look of disbelief spreading across his face. “You- oh!” he smiled, utterly baffled. “That was- very easy?”

Janus, too, was looking up at Remus with bewilderment, his task of paper-sorting all but forgotten. Remus couldn’t blame either of them, but he still huffed, trying very hard not to be embarrassed by that whole… moment.

He shook it off, rolling off the couch and standing up, jittery.

“Whatever, just- tell me what to pick up, okay?”

They seemed not to hear him, the gawking continuing on until he started working unprompted, and longer than that still. Each time he (begrudgingly) shoved something into a trashbag, it earned him another Exchange of Glances from the pair.

They got over it eventually, though, because there was a fuck-load more to clean than there was room to stare. So they cleaned.

Remus thought it would get old after a minute, and he’d finally gather up the guts to bail on them, but it just… never happened. It felt unnatural to be getting rid of a mess- like an animal having its fur brushed the wrong way, continuously- but by some point the sensation was distant. The rest of him was still busy processing, experiencing, maybe possibly overthinking this kind of recognition he’d never gotten before. It was handed to him now like it was something normal. The three of them worked together, and it was normal.

Acceptance, as it turned out, wasn’t synonymous with ‘soulless assimilation’. In fact, it was pretty fucking great, getting to watch his brother and best friend find documents from the floor with his ideas on them, then tucking them into a binder marked important, instead of a trashcan marked to burn. It was… surreal.

But the tidying was over in just an hour and a half- oh wow, never in a million years would Remus have thought an hour and a half of cleaning would be too little for him. He made a note to absolutely destroy something big and important later, to balance the universe out again.

Roman sank through the floor as soon as they were done, complaining loudly about how very exhausted he was. Remus teased him on his way out, but it was just for the habit- he was way too mushy to think of anything properly mean at the moment.

Janus watched him go, silent. He sat beside Remus on the couch, and despite his obvious tiredness, he waited a good few minutes before saying anything.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

Remus shivered. Janus pulled him up into a hug (one that maybe dragged on for a little too long, but who was counting?), and it spelled out all the pride and care that he’d never been good at verbalizing. With that, he gave Remus a short nod, and then was gone as well.

Which made everyone else upstairs, probably in their rooms and halfway asleep. Then there was Remus, antsy in the living room, itchy with feelings.

Everyone but Patton, of course, who could still be heard humming in the kitchen; who never went up until he knew everyone else was in their rooms, true to the protective parent persona. Remus suddenly didn’t think he wanted anything else but to see Patton after what had happened, to talk to him, to…

He walked to the kitchen.

“Pat.”

Patton looked over his shoulder at Remus, up to his elbow in sudsy sink water. A smile fell naturally across his face.

“Hi,” his voice was low, delicate. “You about to head up?”

Remus watched his friend work, trailing into the room slowly. He grinned, “Are you kidding? I could stay up all night, if I wanted.”

“Do you want to?” Patton asked him.

Remus thought on it for a moment. He shrugged, iunno, leaned against the counter by the sink. Patton turned away again.

It was so quiet. No wind. No footsteps. Not a muffled voice upstairs, even- just the sound of water and ceramic hitting ceramic. Everything was still.

Remus hated it. Silence was fragile, and he crawled with the need to break it. He felt it get tense as it stretched out, and he just wanted to tear the air apart with sound. It felt like nothing mattered anymore, when peace was so easily able to drown it all out. Cold and alone. He hated it.

Sometimes, Remus imagined that if the silence went too long, he’d never be able to make a noise again. There were few things that made him so unhappy, but the quiet…

“What’s on your mind?” Patton asked.

Remus jolted. Patton was staring, concern gathering in his eyes the longer he did. Remus took a deep breath- he remembered something, something small and unimportant that Janus had told him once.

When one is so intensely happy, they can fall to agonizing upset even quicker than if they’d been mildly perturbed in the first place, because of the ferocity of the feelings. Something like that.

“A lot more than I’m willing to throw on your shoulders, Pops.”

Patton pouted. Actually. Fucken. Pouted. The worst part was, his puppy-face was actually working.

“Ugh,” Remus rolled his eyes, “Just- could I- I dunno, have a hug, or some shit?”

If Patton was surprised, he hid it well. God knew, that wasn’t exactly the kind of thing Remus would ask for. He almost never asked to get attention- taking it was much easier, and much more entertaining. Besides, if he’d ever asked before that point… well, he already knew what answer he would’ve gotten.

Patton’s smile only widened, until it was positively melting. “Of course you can,” he shut the sink off. “Of course.”

He reached haphazardly for a hand towel, to dry his arms. Remus, riding the high of that enthusiastic permission, absolutely could not wait that long. He latched his arms around Patton’s middle before the side had even finished talking, burying his face between his shoulder blades and hugging tight.

Patton went still, like he didn’t know what to do. After it became clear that Remus had no intention to move, Patton laughed, dreamy and soft, and shook his hands as dry as he could. He patted Remus’ forearm; bead-bracelets clattered under the Duke’s sleeves.

“Hey,” Patton said.

“Mmh?”

“Not that this isn’t lovely,” he laced his fingers with Remus’, squeezed them, “But I’d like it better if I could hug you back, ya know?”

Remus let go, reluctantly. In the true fashion of intrusive thoughts, there was a second he was so convinced Patton would run, now that he was freed. Make an escape from him, an escape from his claws.

He didn’t. He spun right around and pulled Remus against his chest- one arm linked around his torso, the other winding into his tangled hair. Anyone, at a glance, could see that Patton was huge- but up close the difference was dizzying: his wide chest, encircling arms that seemed to be made of nothing but muscle and padding, and that height, all made him so… comforting. Big and strong, a body that disguised power in soft edges and fat. If he squeezed just a little too tight, in fact, Remus wouldn’t be surprised if Patton could make splinters out of his bones. Which Remus definitely, definitely wouldn’t mind, but the knowledge that Patton not only could do that but also wouldn’t ever do that- that was what really did him in.

And he’d hugged Patton before- months ago, and somehow Patton had seemed so small then, when everything had started- but being hugged? Properly, too, not underwater while one of them was drowning- it was a world of difference. No panic, no breakdowns, just a real, solid hug.

He could just ask for this and then have it. He could smell sugar cookies and candle wax, and feel somebody- a willing body- pressing in. It was weird. He thought that someday, he might get used to it. He wanted a chance to get used to it.

“Do you wanna talk now?” Patton prompted, forcibly reminding Remus that he had a bloodhound’s nose for emotional distress.

“I don’t know.”

Patton hummed, his fingers scratching through Remus’ hair. “Today went better than I thought it would.”

“You didn’t have to bring me, if you thought it was gonna be bad.”

“I wasn’t worried because of you! I was worried because of me. Things have been… a lot for me, lately.”

“Oh,” Remus angled his head to the side, looking up at him. “Yeah. I feel ya.”

“But they were all so much more patient, weren’t they,” Patton’s eyes went a little misty, the way they always did when he talked about his family. “Everything’s different now, and I guess that scared me, but I think that now… it’s a good different, you know?”

“Like us, right?” Remus laughed, “This is the craziest difference, if ya think about it.”

Patton chuckled, the sound reverberating in his chest so that Remus felt it more than heard it.

“I don’t think I would’ve gotten through with today without you, you know that?”

It was deeply honest. There was a beat.

“I-” Oh fuck, Remus was choked up, when did that happen? “I wouldn’t have even had a day like today, without you, so. Do with that what you want.”

Remus buried his face in Patton’s sternum, just to avoid the sad understanding in his eyes.

He- he wasn’t exactly made for the care he was getting, not the kind of softness in that face. Not when Patton was still patiently untangling his matt of hair while they hovered in the stillness of the dark, empty kitchen, and Remus desperately didn’t want to cry.

Patton gave him a minute to breathe, at the very least, before:

“They like you, though. Janus loves you.”

“Yeah, okay, but it’s not-”

“I know how you feel,” said Patton, and did. “Like they couldn’t actually care about us, even though it doesn’t make sense for them not to. It’s one of those things that’s easy to forget,” Remus could hear the smile in his voice. “So it’s good we have each other, when we need to get out of our own heads. At least, it’s like that for me, I don’t know if you even-”

“No,” Remus curled his claws in the back of Patton’s shirt, something dark and emotional flooding like tar through his chest. “Nah, you’re right, Morey. This is good for us.”

Remus shook his head at nothing in particular. He forced his hands unballed, pulled back, and wormed his way out of Patton’s hug after way too long.

His skin felt like paper from the affection, like he’d been electrocuted, and while that was fun- was amazing- for a while, he didn’t think he could handle much more in one sitting.

Patton let him go, smiling warmly, leaning back against the counter. His eyes were shiny and wet, but he was content.

“Thanks,” Remus said.

“What for? The hug?”

“No- I mean, that too, but I was saying ‘thanks, for caring’. For giving enough of a shit about me to try and help.”

Patton smiled, solemnly.

“I told you so,” he breathed, “I promised I would like you when I got to know you, and then I did. I do!”

Remus felt a grin returning to his face, sliding across his lips more naturally than anything else he’d had to deal with that night.

“Yeah. You aren’t too bad yourself, Pat.”

Chapter Seven

Taglist: @shrimp-crockpot @glitter-skeleton-uwu @donnieluvsthings @intruxiety @thefivecalls @did-he-just-hiss-at-me @gayformlessblob

#sanders sides #ts #fanfiction #fanfic #sanders sides fanfiction #ts fanfic #intruality #qpr intruality #platonic intruality #remus #patton

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slightlymore · 3 years

Note

ooo. sam, are you giving advice? bc me needs. so, there’s this guy, right(as there typically is)? I’ve known him for about two years now(he’s a senior, i’m a junior) and we’re in band together. i’ve kind of had the felling that he’s liked me, my ex(bleh) said that be did back in my freshman year, but i was like nah bc why? anyways, being in band we spend a lot of time together and we’ve been talking more this year. i’m a bit of a natural flirt, but there’s been a lot of mutual, casual flirtation in our texts. anyways, we both like anime and i still hadn’t seen the demon slayer movie, and he was like ‘do you want to go see it’ and i’m like ‘is that an invitation?’ and says ‘it is now. i’ve been wanting to see it again.’ that’s where it started and when he dropped me off afterwards he was like ‘text me more so we can do this more often.’ flash forward to today, we had a band thingy at a car dealership and they gave us food after we performed. the volunteers also deserve to eat, obviously, so they’re there too and our section sits down to eat and this guy who works there comes up to us and asks us to scoot over bc he needs to back a car in. and we’re like, ‘yeah sure’ then this little girl is standing there looking slight confused and i’m like ‘omg, she’s gonna die.’ in all seriousness though, he had already started backing in and i don’t think she was tall enough to even show up in the rear view mirror, so i asked her to come over and sit down with our group out of the way. she starts talking about moana or something and i just start talking with her, finding the whole situation kind of hilarious bc who is this child? and why is she now my own? but anyways, i keep her entertained, give her my fruit snacks and some water, and i turn to look at this guy and he’s kinda looking at me through his sunglasses and i could feel that he had been for awhile. i put my focus back on this little girl and after her guardian comes and collects her, he’s like ‘i hate you.’ i was like ‘what? did ilustre get hate-crimed?’ but then he patted my thigh twice and said something along the lines of ‘for reasons you wouldn’t know/it’s a good thing??????’ help? he’s cool and i kinda like him, but there are just somethings(opinions) that i don’t agree with that are on my list of non-negotiables, but they feel slightly negotiable with him?? and i hate it?? like, he’s a good person, but ugh. and there hasn’t been any confirmation that he does like me, but i want thoughts, opinions, concerns. por favor and thank you.

ohhhhhhh nice nice nice i love when you send me these 🥴❤️❤️❤️

okay so, he likes you yes lol he asked you on a date and asked you to text him more often and saw you being all motherly (if you're a woman sorry you didn't specify 😔) and he felt like damn,,,,,,,, wanna marry this person AHAHAH

but, what do you like about him? you only told me things he did for you, and clues that he might have a crush on you. what do you think tho? besides the things he does for you.

bc often, we might start to like someone only because they like us first. that's not a good thing. it can go well sometimes, but often times you're not crazy about them and you only like that they like you/the attention/feeling loved/being worthy.

that's not necessarily a bad thing but you say "he does this for me and that and he's like this to me" when I ask you why you like him, chances are you might like him for what he does to you and not really for how he is a person. of course, this is a love language so offering help, gifts, etc from his part is affection, but from you? like what do you like about him besides the fact that he likes you?

I think as a society we're quite lonely so then someone suddenly likes us, even if we didn't notice them before, we start to like them back in this first euphoria and then we realize we don't like them anymore (maybe when they stop doing the things you solely started to like them for)

so now I'd invite you to think about how you feel and if there's genuine good feeling then you might try it out.

at the same time, beware of those non-negotiable opinions because right now it might feel like he can change them for you, like you'd accept his opinions for the sake of being together. would he tho? like would he try to change himself for you like that? idk

also there are things that are no negotiable at all and we all know them so idk, I was talking to this guy I really liked for once and we were actually about to date and since I'm into politics as you know, we would always talk about that, and he said he's right wing and when he was a teenager he was extreme right wing,,,,,,,,,,,,,, so I've never talked to him since lol

because if you don't talk about certain stuff maybe you don't know about it or you can go over it, but trust me, those opinions drive a person and the way they treat you and others and said opinions can make you feel very bad in a relationship

#long post #ask

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alarawriting · 4 years

Text

Inktober 2020 #4: Radio

Based on the prompt originally from @writing-prompt-s, “You’re taking a road trip in a 5 seater car. Each seat is filled with you, but at various points in your life. One of you strikes up a conversation.”

***

I’m in the driver’s seat, with myself at forty on the passenger side, window down of course, just like I’d do if I wasn’t driving. My selves at ten and twenty are sitting in the bucket seats in the middle row of the minivan, with Ten behind Forty and Twenty behind me, and Thirty is in the back, lying sprawled across the entire seat. My Pandora feed is playing through the radio, and right now, it’s Area 27’s “Driving With The Future Self”, which is apropos, though technically, I am the only one who’s not.

“I hate vans,” Twenty complains. “I can’t put down the window. Why do you even have one?”

“Four kids,” Forty says, and Twenty is taken aback. Ten, however, seems impressed.

“Do you have a lot of cats?” she asks.

“Too many,” Thirty complains from the back seat, so apparently she hasn’t fallen asleep.

“I’ve got small windows open in the back, or I could open my window all the way, and the air would get back to you,” I tell Twenty.

“Roll down your window, it’s better than nothing. Ugh. Why are you driving a car that has windows you can’t open?”

“I’m pretty sure Forty answered that,” I said.

“What, don’t they make vans where the side windows open?”

“Pretty much no. I could maybe have gotten an SUV—”

“AKA, a death trap on wheels—” Thirty calls from the back.

“But as you can see, I don’t want to.”

“What’s an SUV?” Ten asks, young enough that it doesn’t bother her to demonstrate ignorance. I happen to know Twenty doesn’t know what they are either.

“Sports Utility Vehicle. They range from ‘pickup truck, except with a roof and back seats’ to ‘I took this regular car and pasted it onto the wheels of this ice cream truck,’” I say, rolling down my window. “Is that any better?”

“Yeah, but now it’s hard to hear.”

“You and Ten have the best hearing, so you’re just gonna have to tough it out,” I say. “Better miss some words than feel nauseous, right?”

“This is great,” Ten says. “I finally found an adult who will take my issues seriously. Too bad it’s my own older self.”

“It could be worse,” Twenty says. “You could find out that your older self doesn’t care about your issues, which I am not sure is not going on.”

“Oh, for gods’ sake, Twenty, I have a minivan because it moves large families and drywall for construction projects and a million boxes of books when I am moving, or storing extra books, and unfortunately they don’t have them where the gas mileage is pretty good, the reliability record is excellent, and the windows go down. Cheap, fast, good, pick two. I picked gas and reliability.”

“I’m glad you picked gas,” Ten says. “And that you have the windows down instead of the air conditioning. We have to save energy.”

“Does anyone even care about that anymore?” Thirty complains.

“I thought I’d ride a bicycle,” Twenty says. “Not contribute to pollution and wasting gas.”

“I want you to think back to the time we rode a bicycle three miles to our friend’s horse barn, and then maybe you will have the answer for why no bicycles,” Thirty says.

“Actually, it’s because I broke my tailbone having kids, and I can’t sit on the damn things,” Forty says.

“Actually, it’s because of all those things, plus cities aren’t great places for bikes, plus hard to tow young children, plus now I’m old and my knees are shot,” I say. “I could probably come up with half a dozen other reasons.”

“Do you at least have a short commute? Please tell me you have a short commute,” Thirty, who suffered a severe depressive episode that was at least in part caused by a 5 hour daily commute, says.

“I work from home.”

Thirty is now sitting up. She cheers. “Yes!”

“How does that work?” Twenty asks, puzzled. “Wouldn’t you have to go into the lab?”

Oh, wow. I’d forgotten. Twenty still thinks she’s going to graduate college and go to grad school and become a scientist. Forty says, delicately, “We do IT now, actually.”

“What’s IT?” Ten asks. “Aside from the villain in A Wrinkle In Time.”

“Information Technology. We work with computers.”

“We’re programmers?” Twenty asks, dismayed.

This is why I never made the big bucks in IT. “No. More like… oh, hell, it won’t make any sense to you. You don’t even have the Internet yet.”

“The College of Engineering has it,” Twenty says, “but I don’t think the College of Arts and Sciences can get it. Why is it useful and what do we do with it?”

I’m taking this – even Forty’s not quite far enough along to fully understand. Things change fast. “You remember Phenoma Jones’ Phenomenally Weird Phenomenon?”

“I just made that up,” Ten says. “Just, like, a month ago or something.”

“Yeah, of course I remember it if you do,” Twenty says.

This is not entirely accurate. Thirty doesn’t remember the shelf of dolls we had in our bedroom as a child, or more accurately, Thirty doesn’t think about it. Forty just found a picture of it and it reminded her so hard and made her so nostalgic she paid a lot of money to get hold of “new” used versions of all our old dolls, plus a lot of random extras. She still thinks she’s gonna make money selling the random extras. I’d forgotten the Silver Kitten until my brother brought it up a year ago – a story I told about a silver statue that was a stylized number 8 with cat ears and a simple cat face on top, which was somehow alive and powerful. I don’t remember the details. Ten probably does, but I don’t want to derail the conversation by asking her, because she will tell me, at great length, and I can’t bear to hurt myself by interrupting her and making her stop infodumping the way I remember everyone else doing. At my age I know why they did it, but the memory still hurts. So Forty doesn’t remember it and probably not Thirty either.

“Okay, so you know how in those playings, in the future, there’ll be a network connecting all the computers and there’s shows on it and you pay a little bit of money for each show?”

“Yeah,” Ten says.

“That’s real. That’s happening.”

Her eyes go wide. “I predicted the future?”

“You’re not psychic, you just read the right science fiction. And you didn’t get it perfect. Instead of microtransactions to buy a show, we usually subscribe to a service that gives us shows we want.”

“Like cable,” Twenty says.

“Yes, but it doesn’t suck. Instead of thirty million channels and half of them are sports, it’s like a library of videotapes on your computer and you can watch any of them anytime you want.”

“Can you make your own?” Ten, who is very interested in making videotapes, says, and tears prick my eyes. Because yes, Ten, yes, people all over the world make their own and they put them on Youtube, but it’ll come too late for you. You’ll be thirty-five with a tiny baby and a lot of insecurity about your looks and no time to record yourself, and by the time you have the time you’re even older and there’s so many other things you need to do with your time, because it’s running out.

“I think so,” Forty says. “Right, Fifty?”

“Yeah. Our kids have done some of them. We really don’t, though.”

“Oh,” Ten says, disappointed. “Why not?”

I’m not going to tell her because of insecurity about how we look. She’ll understand that well enough but think we just need to push past it, like she does. But Twenty finally likes her appearance, and Thirty doesn’t think she’s too bad looking, and I don’t want to tell them that someday they’re going to see themselves in the mirror and think they look like a short, squat troll or something. And Ten won’t understand what it does to you to finally think you’re beautiful, after suffering with thinking you’re ugly your entire childhood, and then losing it.

“We have other stuff we do,” I say vaguely. “Like learning German.”

“That’s great, but it doesn’t answer my question about what we do for a job. Do we do something with these shows?”

“No. Not the shows. But people put their files up on the Internet as well, and they send emails – messages through the computer—”

“I am smart enough to figure that out from context,” Twenty says disapprovingly. I’ve forgotten what an arrogant twit she could be sometimes. Well, to be honest, I didn’t forget because I never knew. When I was her age, I thought my behavior was fine.

“Right. Subscription services exist for that too. We help people get onto those services, move over any emails or files they had on a different service, and fix their problems.”

Forty is dismayed. “Really? That sounds horrible. Is that tech support? Don’t we get to do anything with data?”

“Sometimes,” I shrug, lying.

If I thought telling them all about everything would change anything for me, I would. But I don’t know how we all get out of this car without me being the only one who remembers any of it, because I don’t remember ever being in a car with my future selves. Either they’re from alternate universes or nothing I say can change their fates, because they won’t remember.

“Are we at least published?” Ten asks. “Tell me we’re published.”

“We have a few short stories published in some anthologies and magazines.”

Twenty is horrified. “Only that? After I’ve written all these stories?”

“The problem is that you suck and nothing you wrote is publishable as-is,” Forty says.

“What do you mean, I suck?”

“Twenty,” I say, because I’ve learned some diplomacy in the past ten years, “everything you’re writing goes into making us the writer we become. Thirty’s pretty damn good. And regardless of whether you ‘suck’ or not, I have a project going on where I’m publishing your stuff online. But it’s for free, on my—” I stop. She won’t know the word “blog”, or even “web page.” “—online journal. I’m editing things to bring them up to my current standard, but if you weren’t writing so much right now, I wouldn’t have anything to draw from.”

“Why aren’t we making money publishing books?” Ten demands.

Forty says, “Because fanfic. When you’re sixteen you’ll start writing stories about Battle of the Planets, and you’ll know you can’t publish them, but you’ll do it anyway. Then you’ll discover a place where there are other fans of the show and its original Japanese version.”

“Writing stories about shows where you can’t publish it in a magazine or a book and you can’t make money is called fan fiction,” Thirty says. “Or fanfic for short.”

“Fanfic’s great, but I’m still writing original stuff,” Twenty says.

“You’ll stop,” Thirty says. “You get instant feedback from writing fanfic – we can put it on the internet, we don’t need to worry about xeroxing two dozen copies anymore and waiting six months to hear anything from anyone. And the instant feedback’s addictive. I thought I’d be able to overcome it and write some books, but apparently, according to these guys, no.”

“I’m doing the 52 Project now,” I tell Forty, since she’s the only one who knows what I’m talking about.

“Now? Like… not eight years ago?”

“Now,” I say. “We needed a fire to light under our asses and we finally got one.” I won’t tell her what it was.

“What’s the 52 Project?” Ten asks.

“52 stories, one a week, every week, for a whole year. That’s where your stories are going, Twenty. And some of your ideas, Ten. I’ve lost everything you ever actually wrote, but it’s ok – you’re going to find a style that doesn’t sound like Mom next year, and a little while after that, I have everything you’ll write. Also, I wrote a kids’ book based on Superkitty.”

“Wow!” Ten says. “But how can you have Underdog in it? Wouldn’t that be fanfic?”

“I changed a lot of things,” I admit. “In my story, Superkitty’s ten. She doesn’t have a hundred family members, just Lara Kitty and a little brother. She’s not working as a slave of the dogs, she lives in Kookalariland, but her family are refugees because the dogs really did take over her home country. And the Underdog character is named Arthur Boy.”

Underdog’s secret identity was Shoeshine Boy. “I see what you did there,” Forty says, grinning. “I assume this isn’t published yet.”

“No. I finished it this year but it’s the first children’s book we’ve ever done – young adult novels, sure, but this is a chapter book for second graders, so I need someone who’s willing to look it over and tell me if it’s good before I send it to an agent.”

“So why are you doing everything now?” Thirty asks. “Did fanfic stop being fun, or did we manage to wean ourselves off it, and if so, how?”

“That rhymed,” Ten tells us all. No one tells Ten that that was not important information because all of us remember being what it was like to be Ten.

“Stuff has happened,” I say. “You know, no one lives forever, and I’m fifty. I need to think about the fact that there’s more time behind me than ahead of me, and I don’t want to disappoint all of you. Maybe if it was just me, I could just go writing fanfic until the end of time, but I know what you all wanted and I don’t want to let you down.”

Thirty says, slowly, “Fifty? Why isn’t there a Sixty in the car with us?”

I almost think I can see a Sixty. She fades in and out in the back seat. Might be my imagination, all the rest of them are as real as anything. “I can guess why, but for obvious reasons, I don’t actually know.”

“Is it diabetes.” Forty says that like it’s not a question.

“Yeah, but also other stuff.” I make a decision. Forty is past the point where any of our children were born; nothing she does can change my timeline enough to make my kids disappear. Either she won’t remember, or nothing will change for me but she can change her own timeline… or maybe she can fix things. The last decade was when everything went to hell. “High blood pressure. Took us a while to get the right medication for that. Then diabetes. Then breast cancer.”

No one in the car says anything until Forty bursts out, “That’s not fair! We don’t even have a family history of cancer—”

“Mom’s going to die of it,” I tell Forty.

“Mom dies?” Ten is appalled. She knew, of course, that people die, but hearing it as a thing that actually happened to Mom is freaking her out. I guess she thought Mom would live a ridiculously long time.

“Lung or breast?” Forty asks me in the harsh monotone I use when all of my effort is going into not showing my emotions. She really doesn’t have to; we all know the trick – maybe Ten’s not self-aware enough to know, but the rest of us do – and we know we have emotions. But I also know I’d do the same thing.

“Brain, in the end. It started in the lung.”

“That doesn’t mean we have a family history of cancer, then. She smoked.”

“Then what’s the point?” Ten screams, tears welling up in her eyes. “I tried and tried and tried to get her to quit! She didn’t quit? After all the times I told her about how bad it was for her?”

“That’s not how addiction works,” I say. “Addicts know what’s bad for them but they can’t stop craving it, and that overrides your willpower. Besides, she did quit. Thirty, has she quit yet?”

“Just did, but… I agree with Ten. What’s the point if she’s gonna die of cancer anyway?” I can’t see her, all the way in the back, but I hear it in her voice. Her eyes are going to be wet and she’s struggling as hard as she can not to cry.

“We don’t know. Maybe that gave her more time. Maybe it wasn’t the smoking at all – she was taking medications for issues with diabetes that they say could cause cancer.”

“When?” Forty asks.

“2015. In 2013 around December they’re going to see something on the X-ray of her lung, but they’ll think it’s scar tissue from smoking. In 2014 they’ll find out it’s cancer, but it’ll be too late by then. She’ll die a year later.”

“No, she won’t,” Forty says. “I’m going to stop it. I’m going to tell her – I dunno. Tell her I dreamed about Grandma telling me I have to warn her about that scar and she needs to get more tests.”

“Yeah, she’ll buy that,” Thirty agrees.

“I hope you can,” I say, “but… I don’t remember ever having ridden in a car with the rest of you, so I don��t know if you can.”

“Maybe this is the start of the paradox cycle,” Thirty says. “Then on the next iteration everything will be different.”

“How did we even get in this car, anyway?” Twenty asks. “And where are we going?”

“More important,” Forty says. “When did you get cancer and how serious is it? Is it related to diabetes? When did you get that?”

“2017 for the diabetes but honestly, probably right after Mom died, because we were too fucked up to go to a doctor and we pretended nothing was happening. And then we did the same goddamn thing about a lump in our breast in 2016 because they said they couldn’t see anything but we should go for more tests, but we lost the paperwork so we didn’t. In 2017 the lump started hurting, so we did go for the tests, and it was cancer. I lost the breast. This is a fake.” I thump my chest. “They say they think they got it all, but there isn’t any test you can undergo yet to find out if the damn thing has popped up somewhere else. The other breast’s clean. They’re giving me drugs that kill my sex drive and are going to ruin my marriage eventually, most likely, because the cancer responds to female hormones.”

I think Ten might be grossed out or upset by talking about sex drive, but I’ve forgotten. Ten can treat the subject of sex as if it’s a clinical matter of interest. She’s the one who tried to explain the birds and the bees to my uncle when she was five. Well, I guess all of us are.

Thirty mutters, “I might get more done that way…”

“You won’t,” I say.

“You’re actually publishing stuff that isn’t fanfic now, are you sure?”

“I’m going to change it,” Forty says. “I’m going to change all of it. I’ll warn Mom. I’ll fix our eating habits now so we don’t get diabetes until later. I won’t let the breast thing go. I’ll change everything. None of the rest of you change anything; if you try to alter the timeline you might erase our kids. But I can do it. I can start the writing earlier, too.”

There’s so much she could theoretically change that she really can’t. I can’t warn her about Donald Trump; she won’t have any power to do anything about it, any more than she did in 2015 and 2016. Same with COVID – she has no power to change that. I could tell her about the issues with the marriage but if I did, I risk Thirty deciding to break up with her boyfriend, who is my future husband and the father of my children. There’s one thing I can say, though. “If you can actually change anything… you’re gonna get the other house. Make sure Dad puts it in your name. Mom and Dad will have issues with some of our pets and it’ll be really upsetting when the house is a mess and they come to visit and complain about the house all day because it’s their house.”

“…How does Dad end up getting involved with the house?” Forty asks.

“Too complicated to explain,” I say, “and not an issue you need to force to exist.” Forty just attempted to get that house – the other half of our duplex – and failed because the underwriters for FHA loans refused to believe she was buying it to live in it rather than rent it out, and she didn’t have enough money to buy it the other way. It’ll work out better the way it actually happened, because Dad got it for a lot less money than Forty would have been able to buy it for, but she needs to not have the specter of how we are treating “their” house hanging over every interaction with Mom and Dad until Mom is dead. Especially if she can do something about Mom dying.

“Is there anything I need to watch out for?” Thirty asks Forty, or maybe me, or both of us.

“Nothing we can tell you. You’re going to have kids. Anything, however small, that you change could affect the timing of that and make you end up with completely different kids.”

Thirty considers that, and then nods. “Okay, good point.”

“Is everything really going to be terrible?” Ten asks. “It sounds like all the awful stuff happens between Forty and Fifty, and then we don’t even know, but… isn’t there anything good?”

“We’re not going to be what we thought we would be,” I say. “We’re not going to change the world. We’re not going to be the Uber-Feminist and whip our man into doing everything we say.” Ten is the only person here who even thought there was a chance of that one, really. “We’re not going to be published novel writers by this time. But we’ll have written four million words, most of it fanfic, most of it good, and we’ll actually enjoy reading it over, and it will always be a huge thrill to hear from someone who liked it. We’ll make many friends, over time, and there will be times when there aren’t any, but there will be times when there are a lot. We’ll make a huge difference in the lives of at least three children who aren’t biologically ours. We’ll learn a lot about ourselves and why we are the way we are and we’ll finally feel like we belong to the human race and there are others like us out there. And we’re also going to publish fifty-two stories in fifty-two weeks.”

“Well, I mean, we don’t know that,” Thirty says. “Unless you’re done.”

“Nope. Halfway through, though. And we’ll learn a lot about how to write short stories that way, and I’m sure that next year we can use that to write new ones that we can publish. It’s not over yet, girls.”

“But maybe you don’t have very much time,” Thirty says. “Because Sixty’s not here.”

“That’s why we’re in this car,” I say. I didn’t know what I was going to say until I said it, but now that I’m saying it, I feel with all my heart that it’s true. “We’re going to look for her. And if we find her, we’ll look for Seventy. Eighty I’m pretty sure is not happening, but what the hell, we’ll look for her too.”

Jig of Life by Kate Bush is playing on the radio. “This moment in time, she said, it doesn’t belong to you, she said. It belongs to me, and to your little boy and to your little girl and the one hand clapping, where on your palm is my little line, when you’re written in mine as an old memory…”

All of us stop to listen to the song. Ten doesn’t know it, but she likes it. She hasn’t seriously discovered her own tastes in music yet, and that song hasn’t yet been written. Twenty and the rest of them all know it, but only I know what it means.

The four of us who know the song sing along with it, and I start crying, but I keep singing anyway.

#inktober 2020 #roman a clef #alara's october 2020 prompt fics #writing-prompt-s

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raysofcrosby · 5 years

Text

LITTLE DO YOU KNOW PT. 4

“𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯𝘵 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥. 𝘖𝘳 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥. 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺.” ━ 𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐬 𝐒𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬, 𝐒𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧

gif credit (x)

series masterlist

requested: yes | no

warnings: mentions of alcohol and swearing.

word count: 7,562 [ ok but i swear its all worth it tho ]

authors note: okay yay we’re finally at part four and the friendship is getting a lil bit less...friendly and more romantic ;) any-who, if you need a visual for the outfit y/n and kennedy wore in this, here it is [but just imagine it’s in two pieces instead of one big one ok yay]. anyway, um here’s parts one, two and three. so ya enjoy and i’d love to hear your theories, your likes/dislikes, anything, so don’t be afraid to pop on over to the ask box! ok byeee :)

The best thing about the boys only having one game during the week, was the free-time they had to hang around and relax. Katie, your brother's longtime girlfriend had flown in for the week to pay him a visit before she had to go back to work in L.A. Tyler, being the ever social person he is, decided to invite the team over to his house every day for pool parties and other stuff, just so everyone could relax and mingle amongst one another. Kennedy and Big Rig were getting closer, seeing as he was over at your dorm every day and you were getting a lot closer to Tyler as well.

The night he invited you over to help you study was the most fun you'd had in a long time. Tyler not only stuck to his word and let you cuddle with the dogs while he quizzed you using your flashcards, but he also tried (and miserably failed) to make the two of you milkshakes, which resulted in a messy kitchen and uber eats delivering you two milkshakes at 3 A.M. In the minutes before you were set to go to sleep in the guest bedroom, you had managed to convince him to record a Hallmark Christmas movie, and he promised that he wouldn't watch it without you.

Which is how you ended up back on his couch with him and the dogs the next night and every night for the last week just watching and recording more and more Christmas movies. Tyler and Big Rig invited both you and Kennedy out to the bars with them and the boys, and for once you actually accepted the invitation. The third time you and Kennedy had joined them at a bar, Jamie wasn't nervous about approaching you with the question as to why you were coming out with them all of a sudden when you hadn't dared to in the past. It was awkward, trying to come up with an answer on the spot, especially since Katie had asked you the same thing earlier in the night. But Tyler swooped in to save the day with a beer for him and Jamie and saying that Kennedy had dragged you along since Big Rig invited her– and Jamie ate it word for word.

That was your cover-up all week when you showed up at the same bar they did– that you were here for Kennedy and it was all Tyler's doing. It was a tricky thing to play it off around Jamie that you were here for Kennedy's sake and not just to see Tyler. Though there were those gap moments when you and Tyler were able to separate yourselves and talk. That's what it was at first, just talking. He'd offer to get you a drink, you'd accept it and then you'd mingle with each other and the rest of the boys who decided to come out– talking about anything and everything.

But that Thursday night was when everything changed. You were all at Bottled Blonde, Tyler's pick of bar that night, and had wandered off to the bar to get yourself a drink after dancing your ass off with Kennedy and Katie. Distracted by texting Kennedy that you'd be right back, you didn't notice someone was beside you until their arm was resting along your lower back and gripping your hip. When you looked to your left, expecting to see one of your friends or a Stars player, you were met with an unfamiliar, and clearly drunken, stranger. You tried to move out of their grip, only to be pulled back in as he was persistent with getting your phone number while complimenting your dancing on the floor.

You weren't the least bit panicked until the words 'I have a boyfriend' seemed to not affect the man. And when you found yourself suddenly freed from the man's grasp and pulled into someone else's side, your heart continued to race– because it was Tyler who had pulled you away. 'Back the fuck off, she's taken' was all it took for the guy to stumble away. You didn't know if it was because it was Tyler Seguin saying it or the fact that his tone had dropped into a demanding one that sent chills down your spine...and maybe even turned you on a little bit.

When the bartender handed you your drink, Tyler told him to add it onto his tab, grabbed your hand, led you away through the dance floor and over to a tucked-away space where the music was mumbled. He had you cornered, looking you over before letting out a relieved breathe before asking if you were okay. You didn't know what to say. That you were freaked out because some guy came onto you at the bar? Or that you wanted to do nothing more than pull Tyler against you and kiss the hell out of him?

Instead, you just nodded and he led you back out to your guys' group, never letting go of your hand. For the remainder of the night, you stuck close to your group and Tyler stuck close to you. For anyone watching, it looked as if you were just hanging out with friends and laughing. But secretly, Tyler was always touching you. Sitting at a booth? His hand was on your thigh underneath the table. In the big crowd? He was cradling your lower back. Standing up? The two of you were standing thigh to thigh.

It was comforting, it was safe, it was hot...and it wasn't as secretive as you thought it was. Because the next morning before her class, Kennedy asked you the one question you'd been asking yourself over the last few weeks.

'What's going on between you and Tyler?'

And tonight, a cool, Saturday night was no different. Instead of getting ready to go out with the boys– you, Kennedy and Big Rig were getting ready to go out to Cole's fraternities big annual off-campus 'ABC' party. Tyler had extended an invitation for you guys to join them, they were only going out for a little bit since they had to leave for Winnipeg the next morning– but you had already told Cole a while back that you'd go to the ‘ABC’ party. Besides, you and Kennedy had put in some work on your Jack Daniels' boxes to make them outfit material, and that wasn't going to waste. Big Rig was surprisingly comfortable in his box and almost asked for you guys to make it as short as yours– but according to him, he'd need a shit ton of shots to follow thru with that idea.

"Okay so I know I've already asked you this before–"

You groaned, turning away from your makeshift vanity and looking at her. "If it's what I think you're about to ask, then try like a hundred times...since yesterday!"

"Don't be so dramatic, it's been like ten."

"Fifteen."

"Actually, it's probably closer to–" Big Rig went to chime in, but Kennedy raised an eyebrow at him and he raised his hands in defense. "Ten sounds about right."

"Anyway, as I was saying," she stopped tying the shoulder strap of her box and turned to you. "What's going on with you and Tyler? I mean, you've been over at his place almost every night since last week, sometimes spending the night there. Plus he was all touchy and staring at you with lovey-dovey eyes all night, Thursday."

You turned away from her, returning back to double-checking your make-up. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh please, are you and Segs hooking up or what?"

"Jamie!" Kennedy blurted out, tossing a nearby shirt at him. "You can't just blurt it out."

"What? It's not like we're all not thinking it!"

You put down your mascara and turned to him. "What do you mean by 'all'?"

He shrugged his shoulders, kicking his box to the side as he lounged on Kennedy's bed in his compression shorts. "I mean you've got Kennedy and me. But then some of the guys have kind of noticed how you two have been...I don't know," He plucked at her comforter, looking away from you. "Getting closer, I guess."

You feel a sense of panic wash over you as your brain starts to list off the possible names who noticed you and Tyler. Which ones have been around you two when those little moments happen? "Does Jamie suspect anything?"

Big Rig shook his head. "Nope, he's oblivious as hell. It's just the young ones– Miro, Klinger, Hintz. Why? Are you admitting that something is going on between you two?" He asked, raising his eyebrows and smiling.

You flipped him off and stood up from your chair, walking to your bed. "No, I have a boyfriend, remember? Cole?"

"Yeah, a boyfriend who you haven't talked to since the Halloween party– TWO weeks ago."

You wanted to argue against her, but you knew she was right. You and Cole haven't texted, called or spoken to one another since Tyler's Halloween party– at this point, you weren't even 100% sure you were still dating. You looked over at Big Rig and stuck out your bottom lip, asking for help.

"Oh no," he laughed, shaking his head and holding his hands up in defense. "I'm not stepping in the middle of this."

"Ugh, you suck," you replied, tossing a pillow from your bed over at him. "Anyway, nothing is going on between Tyler and me, and there probably never will be."

"Do you want there to be? Cause the boys might be oblivious to looks, but I see how you've been looking at him all this week when we're out. You do that giggle and you constantly touch your hair and roll your eyes at his stupid jokes," Kennedy walked over to her bed and plugged her phone in to charge. "They're all classic Y/N likes someone, signals."

You were speechless because she was right and you knew it. You liked the way Tyler was around and with you, and part of you wanted him to know it but is too nervous to admit it. You cleared your voice, putting your make-up away. "It doesn't matter if I do. I'm his best friends little sister for God's sake, could you get more cliché than that?"

"I mean, have you met Tyler?" Big Rig added in, no humor in his voice. "Not to be a total downer here, but he isn't picky when it comes to his girls...and I don't think Chubbs being your brother would stop him from going after you. At least, if he likes you it wouldn't."

Ouch. You knew Big Rig was right. Tyler's reputation and resume of hookups didn't paint him as someone who had a type or cared what the girl looked like– he just went for it and that was it. But damn, hearing that if he really liked you, he'd have made a move by know and knowing that he hasn't done anything... gut-punched you.

Kennedy smacked his stomach and shot him a look. "Don't say that!" She looked back at you with a hopeful smile. "Listen Y/N, what he said, maybe true, but you're also not just any other girl in a bar downtown who just wants to be able to say they slept with a professional hockey player."

"Yeah, because instead, I'm Jamie Benn's kid sister," you mumbled, turning towards your bed.

Kennedy turned you around and kept her hands on your shoulders, looking at you. "No, it's because you're his friend. You see him every day, you watch his dogs...he cares for you."

"Oh great, so now I'm in the friend-zone!"

She rolled her eyes and reached over for the bedside table and grabbed your beer, handing it to you. "I've seen the way he looks at you and I highly doubt you're anywhere near the friend-zone. I just think he's probably trying to figure out how to make a move."

"Well if he could do that sooner rather than later, that'd be great," you said, taking a long sip of your near-empty PBR. No sooner than the words left your mouth, did you realize what you just admitted? Your eyes immediately looked towards Kennedy and Big Rig to see them both smiling. "Don't you–"

"I knew it," Big Rig cheered, hopping off of Kennedy's bed and pointing at you. "Ha! I knew it! Klinger owes me 10 bucks."

You groaned as your phone beeped and you walked back over to your desk, picking it up. You chugged the rest of your PBR and turned towards the duo. "Stop being assholes and come on, our Uber is here."

"Whatever you say," Big Rig replied, brushing by you and walking to your door, turning around and winking. "Mrs. Seguin."

"JAMIE OLEKSIAK I SWEAR TO GOD!" You yelled out, only for him to already be completely out of your door. "I'm going to kill him. Have your fun tonight Ken, because he's a dead man."

"Please don't kill him Y/N, he's the best hook-up I've had in a long, long time," she joked, nudging you out the door. "Plus, he's not exactly wrong. Seguin is a good look for you."

You rolled your eyes and stormed ahead of her and down the hall to where Big Rig was holding open your complex door. Your costume prevented you from crossing your arms and fully bringing on the attitude, so you had to settle with your best resting bitch face to act as a mask so they wouldn't be able to tell just how much you actually liked the idea of Tyler being yours.

❒❒❒❒

Beta Upsilon Chi's off-campus 'ABC' party, was arguably one of the biggest parties of the semester. It was thrown in a warehouse owned by a former member and has been a big tradition for the last ten years. A lot of shit happens at these parties, stuff that you thought only existed in unrealistic movies– but your freshman year you were surprised when you and Kennedy walked into one of the rented bathroom trailers to see a group of kids doing a line of cocaine. Another year, the entire men's swimming team decided to initiate their freshmen by making them do a naked lap around the warehouse and a spotlight following them around.

You had to give it to the fraternity though, while some wild ass shit always went down, nothing tragic ever happened, they always made sure people got home safe and it was always a damn good party. It was wild from the moment you guys stepped into the warehouse, both the literal party and the groups of people who would come up to the three of you and talk to Big Rig. After the ninth or tenth group stopped the three of you, you had found Cole talking to his roommate, Tristan. It was an awkward greeting since the two of you haven't spoken in weeks, but no sooner than he kissed you and Tristan offered you a few shots– all went back to normal. Cole managed to leave his fraternity duties behind for a good while so he could dance with you, Kennedy and Big Rig– all while managing to refrain from even looking at Kennedy, most likely due to what happened at the last party.

But the dancing didn't last long before Cole had to go back to doing his rounds as one of the Frat members and you were left third-wheeling with Big Rig and Kennedy. As the night went on, you realized that for the first time in a long time, you and Cole were getting along pretty well– when he came to find you in the crowd. The two of you were laughing, he was getting along with Kennedy (when she didn't secretly give him a stink eye) and it reminded you of the early stages of your relationship. Either it was real or it was all of the shots you took, blurring fantasy and reality together, you didn't know, but also...you didn't care.

Sometime during the night, Big Rig took Kennedy back to the dorm because she wasn't feeling too hot and he had to be up the next morning to fly to Winnipeg with the team. He offered to take you home too, but you were still wanting to dance and told him Cole had said he'd take you home later in the night. And that's how you ended up at the party alone, being fed shots by Cole's fraternity brothers whenever you walked by the table in search of your boyfriend...which totaled to be a lot of shots. Stumbling your way through the crowd wasn't too hard, seeing as you were amongst people who were much drunker than you and dancing wildly. When you got to the middle of the floor, you saw Cole through a group of people talking and waved your arm in the air to get his attention.

When the group broke and your line of vision cleared, your stomach dropped into your shoes. Cole had a girl pressed against him, his hands wandering along her body as he had his face pressed into her neck; whispering into her ear or kissing her skin, you couldn't tell– but she was smiling. Before you could even manage a logical thought, your feet were carrying you over to the two of them, stopping right beside them. You reached out and shoved Cole's shoulder, instantly gaining both of their attentions. "What the fuck, Cole?"

You expected his eyes to go wide in fear at the fact that he was caught in the act. That there would be a hint of regret hidden on his face or in his body language when you confronted him, but there was none. And at that very moment, you didn't know what hurt worst. The fact that he didn't seem to care you had caught him or that strangely...you weren't surprised.

"Hey, you're Y/N, right?" The girl asked, looking between you and Cole. "The ex-girlfriend?"

"EX- girlfriend?" You asked, looking at Cole. "Who are you?"

"I'm Paisley..." She looked up at Cole, linking her arm in his before looking back at you with sympathy. "His girlfriend of, what's it been, Cole?" She smiled up at Cole once again, "three months?"

Your eyes were about to pop out of your head the moment your mind registered her words. It was like you had completely zoned out, the only thing you could hear was the muffled music mixed with your heartbeat. Your mind was running a million miles a minute, throwing out questions that your mouth couldn't even speak.

"Also, don't worry about the dress stain. I took it to my dad's cleaners and they got it out like it was nothing. I never figured Dallas Stars team parties got so wild."

And that was the nail in the coffin. The dress Cole had brought for you to wear to Tyler's Halloween party– the one he said belonged to Pat's girlfriend, actually belonged to the girl he had been cheating on you with for three months. You tried to push down the nauseous feeling as the questions kept creeping back into your mind. Was he sleeping with the both of you? How did he hide this? Was it your fault?

Then the tears started to build. Partially because he was cheating on you and from the alcohol, but mainly because you couldn't believe you had been so stupid. And then the laughter soon followed, because here you were, still with your shitty boyfriend that:

A) None of your friends or family liked.

B) Managed to get an entire NHL roster team to hate him

and C) Was so shitty to you, that even the most prolific womanizer in Dallas could see it and thought it was wrong.

You looked at Paisley and smiled. "I don't know what he told you, but we're very much still together," you turned to Cole, the anger suddenly needing to take over. "And you're such a piece of shit that I honestly don't even know why I'm surprised."

"Y/N, you're making a scene–"

"What do you mean you're still together?" Paisley turned to Cole, a confused look on her face. "You told me that you broke up with her before the semester started!"

"Nope, we're still together! Though Paisley, a bit of a warning for you? He's a misogynistic asshole who's total shit in bed, will belittle every little thing that you do and–"

Cole stepped towards you, looking around at the few people who were starting to notice that your argument was even taking place. "Y/N, enough!" He growled, putting on a smile and nodding before looking down at you. "Let's go and talk somewhere. You're drunk and upset and not making any–"

"No!" You yelled, stumbling back from him and poking him in the chest with your finger. "Fuck you, Cole! I have a right to be angry! I turned down hanging out with people who genuinely like me to come to your party because you whined about me missing the last one and it turns out you've been cheating on me for months!"

He laughed, rolling his eyes. "People, who genuinely like you? Who are you talking about? Seguin and the rest of your brother's pathetic team? Newsflash, Y/N," he stepped towards you with anger in his eyes. "You're just a young, hot piece of ass to him and that's all you'll ever be. Just another girl trying to fuck a Hockey player." He smiled and looked off to the crowd before looking back at you. "Huh, I guess that replacement Halloween costume...wasn't a costume after all then, was it?"

You could feel the tears come back as you bit the inside of your cheek to keep them from falling. That was a sore spot that he just did a boxing combo on and you just wanted to turn around and run. But you were tired of letting him treat you like this, so even though your legs were shaking, you kept your shoulders back and blinked back the tears. "Go to hell Cole," you spat, throwing whatever was left in your cup onto his costume and spinning on your heels to walk away.

"What the fuck, Y/N?" He yelled, seconds before he reached out and clutched onto your forearm, trying to stop you from leaving with all of his strength.

You whipped around, swinging your free hand back and up, your knuckles making solid contact with his eye and cheekbone. He immediately let go of your hand and went to touch his face as more people looked on. Your heart was racing as you took in what just happened and yet sympathy for him was nowhere to be found. "In case that wasn't obvious, Cole...we're done." You looked up at Paisley, who was standing in the same spot, frozen. "Sorry about the dress."

Before either of them could reply, you stormed off through the crowd, not caring who you bumped into as you tried to distance yourself as far from them as possible. You ended up by the bar in search of the cooler that held some free water in it. "Hey, want a shot?"

You turned to see someone you didn't recognize but looked a little too old to be a college student. This wasn't surprising because there's always been a problem with non-SMU students sneaking into the party with invites from current students. "Uh, no thanks."

"Come on, just one shot! It won't hurt you and look, you can even watch me pour it in case you think I'm going to drug you or something." He laughed, brushing off the seriousness of it all and opened his flask, pouring out two shots and sliding one over to you.

"I said no."

"Hey, Hey!" He grabbed onto your hand as glared at you as you went to turn away. "I'm offering you a fucking drink, you don't have to be such a bitch about it!"

You snatched your hand away from him and stumbled back into the crowd, not even caring if the tears you'd worked so hard on holding back were starting to fall. You took your phone out of your spandex beneath the bottom portion of your box and unlocked it, scrolling through your messages as you continued to stumble through the crowd. You clicked on a contact, calling the number as you reached the entrance of the warehouse. It only rang once before they picked up, but you didn't even bother to give them a chance to speak.

"P-please come get me," you struggled to take a deep breath as you pushed your way through the crowded entrance and out into the night air. "Kennedy and Big Rig left, I p-punched Cole, some creepy guy tried to give me a drink and I-I don't have a ride home. I'll share my location, just...please."

"Stay right here, I'm on my way."

You hung up the phone and broke down alongside the warehouse building.

The chill wind was just starting to pick up when you felt a presence in front of you. "Y/N?"

You looked up from your arms to see Tyler squatting down in front of you in a sweatshirt and shorts. "You came?"

"Of course I did." He looked at you as if you had two heads before holding out both of his hands. "Now come on, let's get you home."

You grabbed onto his hands and he helped you up, looking at you and turning you side to side to make sure you were okay. "I-I'm fine," you sniffled, wiping your nose with the back of your hand. "I just look like a drowned rat."

Tyler just laughed and pulled you into his side, wrapping an arm around your waist. "No, you don't, Y/N. Let's just go home, okay?"

You nodded and snuggled more into his side, relaxing against him as he led you away from the warehouse. "Tyler! Hey Tyler Seguin, what's up man?" A drunk partygoer yelled out, waving at Tyler. "Go Stars!"

"Not much man, thanks for the support!" Tyler replied, pulling you further into him, staying tense and on alert as he led you to his car. When you reached his car, you noticed that he was parked pretty much on the curb in his fancy-ass Mercedes. He opened the passenger door and looked. "Do you need help getting in?"

You scoffed, tossing your hair over your shoulder and acting as if you weren't totally shitfaced and had been crying for the last fifteen minutes. "I am an i-independent and newly single woman, Tyler. I c-can do it."

You took a step up onto the sidestep and reached out for the 'oh shit' handle, grabbing air and almost falling forward. Tyler grabbed onto your hips and helped you steady yourself. When you looked back at him in embarrassment, he just shook his head and tried to hide his smile. "I won't say anything, now get in the car."

With a little push, you were seated in his leather passenger seat and looking around the car. He stepped up and grabbed your seatbelt. "I'm going to buckle you in, okay?"

You just nodded and watched as he reached across you, balancing himself by only holding onto the 'oh shit' handle and standing on the side step with one foot. He was so close to you that you could smell his cologne radiating off of his body and man, it smelled good. Your eyes took in his mess of curls he called his hair and for a split second, you wanted to reach out and run your fingers through it. When you heard the buckle click, he stopped right in front of you and smiled. "All buckled in."

'I could just lean in and plant one on him', you thought. Just grab onto his face and kiss the hell out of him. What's stopping you? Not Cole, that's for damn sure. Now that you were a single woman, you could indulge in your feelings and finally go after Tyler...assuming he'd even be okay with that.

Tyler reassuringly squeezed your thigh and got out of the car, closing the door and making his way to the driver's side. It was only a few seconds before he was in the driver's seat, starting his car and turning on your seat warmers. When he turned the radio station from Hip-Hop to Country, he smiled at you. "I know you like country music, so just listen to this and we'll be home before you know it."

You nodded as he started to drive away from the party and zoned in on the song.

"You brushed away your blonde hair And you kissed me out of nowhere, I can still show you the spot where everything went down. Oh, I told you I was gonna marry you, you probably didn't think that it was true"

The moment your brain registered what song was playing, the waterworks just exploded and you burst into tears. Tyler looked over at you with a panicked look on his face before slamming on the brakes at a stop sign. "What? What is it what's wrong?"

"The s-s-song," you pointed to the radio and wiped your cheeks. "Th-that was our song. He said it was our s-song when we first started dating b-because we met on October 14th."

You felt stupid, bawling like a baby into your hands in Tyler's car over a song that an asshole of a boy dedicated to you years prior. It wasn't the fact that the song was the issue, but how you remembered how nice your relationship was at the beginning of it all.

"Okay, okay we can fix this," Tyler cleared his throat and kept changing the station channels until settling on another country station that had a song just ending. "How about this, hey...look at me, please?"

You sniffled and picked your head out of your hands to look at him. His eyes took in your tear-stained cheeks and immediately he covered his hand with his sweatshirt and patted the tears away. "S-Sorry that I'm such a mess."

"Don't apologize for what that asshole did Y/N, ever." He brought his hand back and nodded at the station. "I've got an idea, hear me out?" You nodded and he pointed at the radio.

"The next song that comes on, that'll be our song, okay? Not you and douchebag, you and me. Does that sound good?" Nodding again, he smiled and held his hand out across the center console towards you.

You looked at it and smiled, reaching out and holding onto it for what felt like dear life. He intertwined your fingers with his and held up your hands, looking at you. "You've got me on your side, okay? If you need to cry, vent or just yell, go ahead and do it...I won't judge."

"Thank you, Tyler." You sniffled, squeezing his hand.

He just smiled and let your hands relax back onto the center console, where he didn't release his from yours. As the long list of commercials came to an end, Tyler squeezed your hand again before turning down the street. You rested your head back against the headrest and looked out the window as the radio DJ kept talking about the CMA awards. You weren't listening much, only trying to focus in on what song would play next- the song that would belong to you and Tyler.

"I'll never settle down, that's what I always thought. Yeah, I was that kind of man, just ask anyone. I don't dance, but here I am, spinning you around and around in circles. It ain't my style, but I don't care, I'd do anything with you anywhere. Yes, you got me in the palm of your hand, 'Cause, I don't dance."

You tried your best to sneak a peek of Tyler from the corner of your eye to see if he reacted to the song, but before you could even get one, he let go of your hand and changed the song. "Next station!"

"What? Why!"

"This song is better," He turned the volume up and went back to staring at the road.

"If he don't love you anymore, just walk your fine ass out the door. I do my hair toss, check my nails– baby how you feelin'? Feeling good as hell"

He looked at you quickly, soon frowning. "What? You don't like this song?"

"No, I love this song and Queen Lizzo," you sighed, slumping into the seat. "It's just... that was gonna be our new song, remember?"

"Oh," he cleared his throat and turned it back to the country station. "I just figured since it was like a...romantic song that uh, I'd change it."

You shrugged your shoulders and turned your attention back to the window, continuing to jam out to Lizzo. You had the urge to cry but bit the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from doing so. Tyler changed the song because it was a romantic one, he hadn't bothered to grab your hand again– maybe you were thinking too much into things and your friendship with him. Otherwise, he probably would've been okay with the song...right?

❒❒❒❒

Tyler had his arm around you still as he helped you up the steps and to the door. The longer you had sat down in his car, the more the alcohol had hit you and the moment you went to get out of his car, he practically had to catch you or you would've hit his garage floor face first. "I'm such an i-idiot. My brothers were right," you slurred as Tyler held you up and against him, throwing your arm over his shoulders. "Cole is a fucking dickface and I wish I could k-kick him in the balls."

"I'm sure we'd all love to do that, Y/N." He laughed, unlocking the door and pushing it open with his foot. "Now there's a step, so be–"

You walked ahead of him, wanting to get into the house and completely tripping over the step he was telling you about. “careful...”

You landed on your hands and knees as his tile floors felt cool against your skin. Crying wouldn't have helped any, so all you could do was laugh. You crawled ahead and out of his way as the familiar sound of paws echoed down the hall. "PUPPERS!!!"

In seconds, the three blobs of fur sprinted around the corner and tackled into you, knocking you onto your but and inadvertently breaking your DIY costume bottoms. "No! Bad boys, go back!" Tyler said, closing the door and snapping his fingers.

The dogs didn't listen as they continued to crawl all over you and licking you. "Be nice to my puppers Tyler," you said, reaching forward and rubbing Cash behind an ear as your other hand was rubbing Marshall's butt. "Because dogs are so cute and lovable and they don't screw other girls behind your back."

Like he knew that you needed it, Gerry reached up and started licking your face. You could feel yourself start to forget all about Cole and Paisley as the three Seguin boys showered you with their love and attention. Standing over you, you saw Tyler laugh and shake his head as he had his hands on his hips. "Don't worry, you guys are the best, goodest boys in the world and your daddy is just jealous that you love me more than him."

"Alright that's enough you needy dogs," Tyler shooed them off and ignored your pout as he held onto your hands and stood you up off of the floor. "You lost your pants." He said, bending down and picking up the Jack Daniel's box. "Need these?"

"Throw them away, I don't care." You replied, moving ahead and walking towards his living room as best as you could.

"Oh no you don't," He ran up behind you and turned you around, his hands on your waist. "Come on, please don't make me toss you over my shoulders."

You gasped, a smile breaking out on your face. "Like a fireman? Oh, could you? That'd be so cool."

Tyler just sighed and directed you towards the stairs and pushing you lightly up them, keeping a hand on your lower back in case you were to fall. You only fell back into him a few times before reaching the top of the stairs and when you did, Tyler grabbed your hand and led you to his room.

A crazy sense of Deja vu washed over you as you knew the situation was all too familiar. You in a...broken costume of sorts, drunk and Tyler taking you to his room. He walked you over to the bed and sat you down, pointing at you. "Stay right here, okay?"

You brought your hand up to your forehead, saluting him and almost knocking yourself over. "Yes, sir!"

He just laughed as you fell back onto his bed, staring up at his ceiling. "Don't fall asleep on me, Y/N!"

"Technically," you raised a finger into the air. "I'm not sleeping on you, I'm sleeping on your bed...which is so comfortable. I think I'm going to steal it for my dorm."

You heard him walk by you again as he tossed something onto the bed beside you. "I'd love to watch you try, Y/N. Now come on, stand up for me."

He tapped your bare thigh and you felt your nerves send a shock throughout your entire body. "Did you just shock me?!"

"What? No!" He replied, reaching out to you and pulling you up by your hand. He made sure you wouldn't fall back down as he reached beside you and picked up a shirt. "You can go ahead and put these on so you don't have to sleep in...whatever that is."

"It's called art, Tyler," you scoffed, sliding the straps of your box top off of you and letting it drop onto the floor as you took the clothes from him. "And I'll have you know, I worked the hell out of it!"

You reached down to take off your bandeau and Tyler immediately spun around. "What are you doing?! Just put on the shirt! You don't need to," he waved a hand around in your direction. "Do that!"

"I never sleep with a bra on, Tyler. Besides, it's a bandeau and it'll just slip off when I roll over," You took it off and tossed it onto the floor, sighing. "I bet you he cheated on me because of my boobs, do guys do that?"

You could hear Tyler choke on his breath as he kept his back to you, looking up at his ceiling. "I mean, I think my boobs are great and they're real! I bet you Alpha Gamma Psi Paisley the bottled blonde's boobs are fake!" You looked down at your chest before looking back at Tyler. "Mine are real! I grew them myself, I mean...aren't my boobs great? Actually, Paisley was really nice...now I feel mean.”

Tyler brought a hand to his face shaking his head. "I'd prefer not to answer that question, please."

"I demand you to look at my boobs Tyler!" You glared at him, the alcohol taking over you completely. "How else can you judge them fairly?"

"I'm not going to look at your boobs, Y/N..."

You groaned and plopped down onto his bed. "Tyler Seguin, you look at my boobs right now or I'm telling my brother."

"Well, that's exactly why I can't look at your boobs."

It all seemed so ridiculous, the fact that you were getting so upset because he wouldn't look at your chest. You were 100% positive that he's looked at other girls' chests without protest, but yet here he was with his back to you still, being stubborn and refusing to look. The thought of him not returning even a slight bit of feelings, combined with the alcohol and everything that happened tonight- was enough to make you start crying again.

"I bet you he cheated on me because my boobs are ugly or something," you wiped your cheeks as more tears fell. "Am I that undesirable of a girlfriend to where he had to go out and find a-another girl?"

You could see Tyler's shoulders relax before slumping over as he let out a deep breath. He turned his head slightly, looking you in the eye before letting his eyes travel down for only a second before he turned right back around, just as fast. "Your boobs are great, Y/N. Now can you please get dressed?"

"That wasn't even a full look, but I guess you're just really nice," you sighed, pushing yourself up. "Nothing like the manwhore everyone says you are–oh!"

You tripped over the Jack Daniel's box that was still around your feet and Tyler turned around quickly to keep you from falling. When he looked down at you, his eyes went wide before he looked away towards his closet and helped you up. "Just, use me for balance and get dressed."

You picked up the shirt and put it on you, resting a hand on Tyler's shoulder whenever you felt like you were going to fall over. When you sat back down onto the bed, Tyler picked up your bandeau and folded it, placing it onto the dresser. He turned back around with a pink pack of facial wipes in his hand and squatted down to your level as he pulled done out and started to wipe off your make-up.

"Is this okay? It's not too hard, right"

"Why do you have these? From your last club conquest?" You asked, not afraid to hide the jealousy and sarcasm in your voice.

Tyler blushed as he nodded at you to close an eye so he could get the mascara off of your eyes. "Candace uses them and I love the way they smell, so I bought them for myself." He grabbed a new wipe and moved to the other eye, "plus they keep my beautiful face clean."

You laughed as he finished up and pulled back the covers of his bed and patted the empty space, "welcome to your bed."

You smiled and crawled towards the empty space, digging your legs beneath the covers. "With the dogs?"

Tyler just laughed and rested his hands on his hips as he whistled. It was only a few moments before the three dogs you babysat often, were jumping onto the bed and each picking their place beside you for the night. "You three better behave yourself and let her sleep," he said, looking at each dog individually. "And no funny business, I'm looking at you, Gerry. That means no shitting on my floor."

He turned back to you and grabbed onto the covers, pulling them up as high as the dogs' weight on the blankets would allow. He picked up the facial wipes and walked into the bathroom, tossing them away before going to leave the bedroom altogether.

"And you?" You asked, propped up against his pillows and petting Cash who had claimed the spot right beside you.

Tyler stopped and turned around, looking as if he was contemplating whether or not he would join you in his bed. He rubbed the side of his beard and shook his head. "Not yet, I've got just some to do really quick."

You tried your best not to allow your disappointment to show but ultimately failed, "Oh. Later then?"

"Maybe, later." He headed towards the door and stopped to look at you again.

"Thank you for coming to get me again, you're the best I don't deserve you." You yawned and rolled over onto your side, snuggling down into his bed and against Cash. "Goodnight Ty."

It felt as if the moment your head relaxed into his pillow that your body and brain just slipped into a fast sleep. No sooner than you closed your eyes, you heard him turn off the light and then start to walk...except the steps were coming closer to you. You felt him tug onto the blankets a little more, making sure that your upper body was covered, feeling his hand rest on your shoulder.

"Goodnight, Y/N," he whispered, removing his hand from your shoulder softly. You thought that maybe he was leaving the room, but as soon as you felt his lips and the scruff of his beard against your cheeks– your heart stopped. "And no...I don't deserve you."

You stayed still as you listened for his footsteps leave the room and the sound of the door closing. You opened your eyes, bringing your hand against your cheek, swearing up and down that you could still feel his lips against them. You smiled and snuggled more into Cash, petting his head as he sighed. "Holy shit Cash, he just kissed me...does this mean he might like me? Oh God, what if I'm just overthinking this? Do you think I'm overthinking this?"

Cash lifted his head slightly and licked at your face before plopping his head back down onto the comforter and letting out a long breath. You sighed and kissed his head, "okay yeah, you're right, let's just go to bed."

As you closed your eyes again and cuddled with the Seguin boys, your heart was thumping against your chest as your brain thought about the one Seguin that you couldn't help but wish was lying here with you– Tyler.

#tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin oneshot #tyler seguin writing #nhl imagine #nhl writing #nhl one shot #hockey writing #hockey imagine #hockey oneshot #dallas stars imagine #dallas stars oneshot #dallas stars writing #ldyk fic #my writing

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ubemango · 5 years

Text

commission 2: bestie!jk and the case of the Stupid Bag (amongst other things)

(+ and even more convolutedly, a rich&spoiled!oc/humble!jk besties au)

I wanna say that the ending is as abrupt as it is because conversations between best friends just Go Places but really. just. This whole drabble really just Went Places SPWWPSHSWPGPW.......thank you to Fina @angelguk for helping me out, and a biiiiiig big thank u to my friend for commissioning me this piece. Ur the best, happy Super Super Super Late Birthday!!!!!!!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰💖💖💖💖💖

The streetlights hurt to look at. It’s too early for your eyes to process, and you’re a second from nodding off for the third time when Jeongguk nudges you up.

“Stop sleeping.”

You yawn. “I’m not the one driving.”

It’s not even his car. You would’ve been happy picking him and letting him drive, but then he would’ve been mad if you didn’t let him pay gas. “If you sleep then I’ll sleep too.”

“No you won’t,” you grumble. “It’s your fault for wanting to see the sunrise.”

“You said you wanted to do it on your birthday!” He complains. It’s good that you’re cloaked with the dark: he can’t see the sheepish downturn of your mouth, because he’s not wrong. You genuinely did want to see the sunrise today, but getting past that stage of Actually Waking Up was really difficult to do. You sit still with the muddled fog of bad sleep. “We’re not even that far from the mountain.”

You can’t deny the looming mass of rock that sits jagged on the horizon. The outline of the steps you’ll be climbing soon are shrouded in the peak of dawn—hardly visible, especially with the way your vision blurs. “All the more reason for me to nap.”

Even if it is for two minutes. Jeongguk doesn’t argue when you slump in on yourself, succumbing to that inevitable wave of pre-sunlight fatigue.

The car door slams you awake. In the two seconds it takes you to reorient your brain, Jeongguk’s got your door open.

“Up and at ‘em, princess. Sun’s peeking and we’re wasting the minutes.”

You feel him reach over to unbuckle your seatbelt. “I can’t.”

“We’re hiking whether you like it or not,” he sneers. “I’ve been waiting so long for nice nature shots since you got me this camera. Now—“

“—Ugh!”

He’s got a tight fist on your arm, hauling you out from the comfortable heat of the car. It’s just as cold as you anticipated. Jeongguk doesn’t cower from the punch you land on his chest.

“I’m so tired,” you say, reaching over the console for your bag, threatening an ache in the middle of your back. “And my back hurts.”

He ignores you, rounding the rear to grab whatever he’d stuffed there before he came to pick you up. (There’s a text with a four AM time stamp in your phone that reads Which penthouse am I coming to again?) “Gucci must be so heavy on your poor back,” you hear him snicker.

“It’s small and it makes me look dainty,” you hiss. “Like my shoes.”

“Your Destructors?”

You frown, meeting him where he rummages. “They’re called Disruptors!”

“They’ll never make up for your alien toes,” Jeongguk argues.

“I’m not standing here for you to berate me. Ha! Wrong berate. You’re here to cele-berate me—ow.”

He gives you a pointed look. Probably for that awful joke, and by your standards wasn’t even that bad; it was pretty witty considering your GPA this year reflected absolutely no sense of critical thinking.

No matter, because he doesn’t even apologize for nearly whacking you with his massive-for-no-reason military bag.

“She’s so big,” you point out.

It really is, woven tight with extremely dense fibre: like some sort of green, rectangular boulder with way too many pockets for the camera equipment and whatever else Jeongguk’s got stuffed in there. His shoulders sag with the weight of it all, and he closes the back door shut.

“That’s what she said,” he comments. He trudges off before you can hit him again for his own poor choice of humour, the beep of the car cutting through your sputtering.

“But like—“ you speed-walk to his side—(you don’t even know how he got to the fifth step that quickly, but then again you’re literally on the brink of brain dead)— “I didn’t even bring that much.”

“It’s fine, it’s just camera stuff, other stuff. You wanna see something?”

“Sure.”

“You see this?” He sticks a finger in the pocket and traces the circumference. “An inner layer of thermodynamic shit. Keeps things hot. Like if you ever take me to a country with those vending machine coffee cups. You can’t do that because you don’t have this bag.”

You frown at the hostility. It’s an ugly bag, but you’re too tired to fight. “So like—to Japan.”

Jeongguk huffs up the steps. “Sure.”

“Then let’s go.” The lamp post at this level flickers off with a quiet zap. You can see the sun starting to bleed out past the stars. “I can use the plane this weekend, we can go—“

Before you can catch yourself, Jeongguk says your name in polite warning. “I don’t need that pretty stuff.”

You keep your stride, cheeks burning hot. Jeongguk’s nice like that. It’s what you appreciate most about him: pushing you past those boundaries of discomfort you’ve been taught never to cross because if you didn’t like something, you stayed pliant for everyone’s best interest.

Jeongguk’s not pliant, though. He’s assertive with that nice humbleness you’ve never known. Adolescence was a different time, when he’d gotten into your private academy out of his sheer brain power alone. No amount of daddy-manufactured money could get you or your classmates his smarts, and they hadn’t appreciated the poor, newbie boy-genius stealing their guaranteed (or: paid for) placements in the work place beyond. But you’d taken an immediate liking to that shy student cowering in the back—though he still had all the answers to the homework questions if he was inclined to answer.

The very first time you’d tried to offer him a ride home in your helicopter, he’d been livid.

“You can’t—think about the environmental impact! The fuel extracted for such a short trip! Do you know how many villages have been destroyed by Gildan for the sake of extraction?!”

(You hadn’t. But he’d told you, and proceeded to take the bus home like he was so used to doing.)

“You don’t need it,” you sigh. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Jeongguk shrugs. “I mean—it’s what you know. And I don’t blame you. But you know how much pollutants come out of private jets—it just…wouldn’t kill you to demote to, like, first class.”

It’s funny, how much you’ve had conversations like these. The instinct to help him out, his kind rejections. Because you’ve learned now that issues aren’t solved with the expediency you’re given. Jeongguk doesn’t get to have that. And now that you’re in college, you’ve noticed that things really haven’t changed: Jeongguk’s gone astronomical amounts of ahead in terms of course level, and you’re just trying to keep up with the bare minimum credits. You’d feel bad for yourself but having the back-up of money in the form of inheritance really keeps you afloat from the pity.

“This is making me tired,” you complain. You’re pretty sure you’re way past the halfway mark of this mountain, but even you’re starting to feel antsy about missing those first few seconds of the sun waking up.

“We’re almost there. I can see the outpost from here.”

Jeongguk points to a wooden structure maybe sixty steps from where you’re approaching: built high over the scattered buildings an hour’s drive away, the flutter of an awakening city. Pretty industry made only for your viewing pleasure, because when you get up there, you won’t be looking at the home of scary corporate; the home you’re used to seeing, with your dad running a good third of that district.

It’ll just be the glass the sun will reflect on. The place so far away you don’t have to think about briefcases and dry-clean only suits.

It’s what you came here for—it’s been easy falling in that trap of indecisiveness. Not wanting what your future is set to be, because right now, the path to your economics degree is tenuous at best.

So you take the diverging route. And you’re finally at the outpost, out of breath. “The sun’s coming up,” you threaten. Jeongguk hurries up the steps as much as his bag allows, and when you reach the top, the fog in your head dissipates right into the wide skyline.

“Sometimes I want the whole world,” you announce.

Jeongguk settles his arms on the ledge, contemplating the rising sun. “You could get it if you tried.”

Maybe he should just say if you asked, but you know he’s too polite to do so.

“I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“It’s okay not to,” he commends.

“But you’re so smart. And—you know what you’re doing. But I’m here taking Economics 101 for the second time and I don’t wanna end up in a law office anyway because my dad will get me there just like the rest of our classmates and you’re gonna be doing good things because you’re a great person who’s like, really socially aware, and I can’t do good things because I’m a bad and stupid person with a private jet.”

Jeongguk lets you deflate by yourself, ignoring your spiel for a second to drop that Ugly Bag on the ground. You hear him dig for something; the click of a knob, then a quick snap.

“Look at the sun,” is all he says.

It’s very small. And suddenly it’s not, expanding into bursts of light you aren’t ready for. Not because it hurts to look at but that sudden wave of silence settles fast. A feeling of finality—the beginning that always, always comes back, because new days are inevitable. “The sun is very big,” you sigh.

Jeongguk hums in agreement, takes another picture. “You’re not bad or stupid. Sure you don’t like economics and you hate school, like, in general. But that’s not your fault, just like owning that jet isn’t your fault. I think you forget some things.”

You pick at your manicure. You’re not so tired anymore. “Like what?”

“Like you’re the only person who talked to me the first week of school,” he goes on. “You offered me a ride home even though I was perfectly capable of taking the bus. You bought my parents groceries when you noticed I wasn’t eating lunch, and you told Seungkwan that you’d stick a wet finger in his ear if he didn’t stop making fun of me for having ugly shoes.”

You laugh. “Seungkwan had big ears and thought he had valid opinions.”

“Anyway—” Jeongguk snorts too—“I’m just saying. I know I—I know I talk a lot about… you doing bad things. Like with the whole plane thing.”

In other words: he’s not here to baby you. He never has. The world you've grown up in has never been kind to him or his parents, and he doesn’t have to keep you in check but he’ll do it for your sake—his, too. “You’re just being a good friend.”

“Yeah but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person,” he says. “It’s good that you’re owning up to those things. Like how you told your dad to veto the health benefit cuts that were under discussion.”

You freeze. You didn’t know he knew that. “How—“

“Who else would get the head of a whole corporate chain under their thumb in one night if not for a really stubborn daughter, who somehow managed to get him to veto a policy I complained about over text the morning I read it in the news?”

Point taken. The guy loves reading his news. Jeongguk lifts the camera once more, but this time points it to your face. “Ew—no!”

“Smile!”

“I’m ugly,” you pout.

“You’re not. Look.” He settles into your side again, into the growing life of the city you don’t love anymore. “Your life—you have… privileges. And you’re learning that you can do good things that your dad isn’t. I’m proud of you.”

“…Really?”

“I mean you have to start somewhere. And I’m really starting to think you didn’t just come to see the sunrise because you thought it’d be a cool thing for me to take pictures of on your birthday,” Jeongguk admits.

You nod. He’s too smart for you sometimes. “I… I kinda wanna switch majors.”

“To?”

“Something other than economics,” you reveal.

Jeongguk squints with apprehension. “Is this because I called your dad my favourite class enemy the other day because I—I’m so sorry. I know he’s your dad but—“

“It’s okay! He’s nice to me but not. To other people,” you fidget. Jeongguk sighs with relief. “But… yeah. You make me want to learn about that stuff. Because you’re right, I have the privilege. And I know have it and I just don’t wanna sound dumb and say wrong things because it’s so easy for me to and I hate that and I wanna—wanna learn and actually do good things. You know?”

Jeongguk nods. “I’m proud of you,” he says again. “Really. You’re doing good. Happy birthday.”

“Thank you.”

He lets the heavy camera dangle around his neck. Lets the conversation drift into something more easy because he’s just as tired as you are. “So I know you’ve been thinking about how ugly my bag is.”

“It’s charming,” you divert. The sun is well past the horizon at this point, and invigoration has come in the form of wanting to go the fuck back to the car.

“You’re a liar. Look! There’s even this hole you can put a tube through for when you want to pack those bags of water, and more thermodynamic shit in this pocket—“

“I don’t care about thermodynamics!”

#bts scenarios #jungkook scenarios #ubemango fic #f: commissions #drabble

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

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1. How do you approach hypothetical survey questions? Do you try to put yourself into that situation, or do you have a tendency to "ignore" those questions? Sometimes I will, but I tend to skip them or answer it some other way.

2. When was the last time that you acted impulsively? Is this a common behavior for you? I’m not one to act impulsively, so I don’t know.

3. When was the last time when you spent a good deal of time thinking something through? Was it a relief when you finally settled on a decision? Ugh, I should be doing that now in regards to my future and how I should go forward with some things and then actually take the steps to do so, but...

4. The last time that someone was angry with you, what happened to cause them to feel that way? What about the last time that you were angry with someone else? If you estimated, which do you think you experience more often: anger toward others, or others feeling anger toward you? I’m positive my former friends were angry and upset with me when I totally withdrew and became distant from everyone a few years ago without an explanation and haven’t tried reaching out since. I’m sure they want nothing to do with me now and I don’t blame them at all. I’ve been angry at myself more than anything or anyone because I’ve just let myself and other things go in a lot of ways and really neglected myself. I’m not even trying to get out of the hole I’ve been in the past few years. I just let each year pass by and do nothing. I hate myself for that. I hate the person I’ve become.

5. How do you generally feel after you have been very angry? What do you like to do to calm yourself down? I cry and shutdown, basically. Probably turn to my go-to distractions and try to zone out. After some time then I’ll likely calm down.

6. What are some sounds that you find soothing? Have you ever used any sort of tape of nature/ocean/rain sounds to fall asleep, or would that sort of thing be more inclined to keep you awake? ASMR is my go-to. I have several ASMR “triggers” as they’re called. And yes, I find ocean and rain sounds relaxing as well and used those to help me fall asleep sometimes before discovering ASMR a few years ago.

7. What was the last thing you looked for, but could not find? My motivation?

8. How often do you misplace your belongings, or forget where you set something down? Or, are you pretty good at keeping track of everything that you own? I rarely lose or misplace things, honestly.

9. Do you ever say or do things for shock-value? If so, is there something specific you are hoping to achieve by saying those things, or is it just for the sake of it? If you personally do not do such things, do you know anyone who does? No, I’m definitely not one to do that. I’ve known people like that, though.

1o. If you were going out to your favorite restaurant, what would you be most likely to order? Do you have a "usual" when you go out to eat, or do you prefer to sample a different meal from the menu each time? My favorite restaurant is Wingstop and I always get the garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings with a side or ranch, extra lemon pepper sauce, and parmesan fries. Any other restaurant my go-to is chicken tenders and fries.

11. When was the last time that something you did backfired? How about the last time you experienced a completely unexpected and fortunate surprise? Oh, like how I thought taking some time off after graduating would benefit me somehow but I ended up spiraling down into this hole I haven’t been able to get myself out of since and dealing with other health issues. I haven’t done anything with my life since graduating and I have no idea what I want to do. As for an unexpected and fortunate surprise... the Disneyland trip we took last year for my brother’s 21st. It was planned somewhat last minute and we ended up having the best time.

12. Is it uncomfortable for you to be pitied? Have you ever felt as though someone pitied you? If so, how did you react to it, if at all? Absolutely. I don’t like talking about myself and my problems and having the focus and attention on me. I don’t want the pity. I keep a lot to myself and hardly talk about what I’m going through or how I’m really feeling and if I do, I downplay it a lot and keep it pretty minimum. I’ll always shift the conversation to the other person or something else.

13. In general, do you tend to look more at the scientific or artistic aspects of life? Would you prefer to deal strictly in facts, or more in areas of subjective creativity? What would looking more at the artistic aspects of life mean?

14. What are some controversial subjects about which you are tired of hearing? Do you ever weary of the drama certain opposing viewpoints can cause, or do you enjoy the tension and opinions that come with debate? >> I'm tired of hearing about most of them, considering how much time I spend on the Internet. But me being tired of it doesn't mean people should stop, necessarily; some of those arguments are necessary and some of the "drama" might have a point. It is better that these issues are being aired out than the alternative, truly. But I don't think I need to be exposed to all of it, is all. It's not useful for me.<<< Yeah, that’s pretty much how I feel. Also, no I do not enjoy the tension or debates. I keep a lot of my opinions to myself and avoid talking about controversial topics. It can be interesting hearing other people’s viewpoints, though.

15. When a survey question rubs you the wrong way, are you ever blunt or borderline rude in your response to it? If so, do you think that others should take your responses personally, or that they should realize you're just reacting to the question itself? I sometimes give sarcastic or annoyed responses, but it’s not directed towards anyone.

16. When is the next time you will be going outside? Will you be going alone, or will you be going with someone else? Next month for my doctor appointment. I don’t drive, so I’ll be going with either my mom or brother.

17. If you received an allowance as a kid, what kinds of things would you buy with it? Were you more the type to save up for something big, or spend it on little things? I saved it or bought toys or snacks.

18. If you are someone who goes to the mall, are there any stores that you have NEVER been into? Is it for personal reasons, or just because you have no interest in the items they sell? Yeah, there’s just stores I don’t have any interest or need to go into.

19. What is one unhappy circumstance in your life right now that is beyond your control? How are you dealing with it? The health stuff I’ve been dealing with.

2o. How about something dissatisfying that you CAN control? Are you doing anything to change this situation, or are you just waiting for it to pass? I could be and should be taking the steps to get help in trying to better manage things and get some things taken care of, but nope instead I haven’t done anything.

21. Do you think that people deserve to be treated with basic respect, or do you feel as though they have to "earn" your respect? Explain the reason for your choice, if any? I do think that people deserve to be treated with basic respect.

22. Are there any types of people you could not manage to treat decently, no matter how hard you tried? I haven’t encountered a time like that where I had to interact with someone so difficult, thankfully. Not to say I haven’t interacted with any irritating or rude people, though. I just kept it short as possible.

23. Have you ever offered advice that wasn't necessarily wanted? How did the receiver of this advice respond? I’m sure I have.

24. How do you tend to feel when someone offers unsolicited advice regarding how you should live your life? >> I generally ignore it because nine times out of ten it's either completely irrelevant or something I've already thought of (and probably found lacking). <<< Same. It can be annoying, though.

25. What day of the week was the hottest? And, how hot is just too hot, for you? It was low 70sF one of the days this week. I personally don’t like when it starts creepin’ up in the 70s even. We get a lot of upper 90s and triple digits here during the summer through like the end of October. It’s miserable.

26. What is your favorite item of clothing that you are currently wearing? How often do you wear this item? My Baby Yoda sweatshirt. I wear it like a few times a week.

27. When you cuddle with someone, how do you prefer to position yourself? Would you rather be held, or do the holding? Or both? I like to be the one being held.

28. During what time of the day are you most likely to hang out with other people? Is there a certain part of the day you prefer to reserve just for yourself, if you have that luxury? Well, I sleep until like late afternoon, sometimes 5PM, so I typically spend time with my family in the evening time and at night. Around midnight or so until the early morning hours is when I have a lot of me time and do my nightly routine of YouTube, ASMR, Tumblr, and surveys.

29. How do you tend to feel after spending hours and hours online, if that is something you do? In general, how long do you think you could spend using the internet before it became boring to you? I spend a lot of time on my phone and laptop throughout the day.

3o. When was the last time you didn't want to do something, but you had to do it anyway? What about the last time you wanted to do something, but could not because something or another was preventing you? Getting up and out of bed is often a struggle. I’d like to go on a little vacation somewhere, but I just don’t feel safe or comfortable doing so.

31. If you were to scale your percentage of open-mindedness, where do you think that percentage would land? To you, what does it mean to be open-minded? I think I’m pretty openminded. I’m willing to hear different opinions and viewpoints and I can see things from different angles.

32. Can you recall the last time you lied to someone? If so, what was it that prompted you to lie? I don’t remember.

33. What was the last thing you did that you knew was not good for you? How about the last thing you did that WAS good for you? There’s a lot of things I continuously do that aren’t good for me. As for the last thing I did that was good for me... well, I’ve been trying to drink more water.

34. Who is the most interesting person you have talked to lately? What is one quality about them that causes them to seem interesting? My aunt. She has a lot of interesting stories and opinions. She’s also really funny.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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softcoregamer · 3 years

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DRAGON QUEST XI S: ECHOES OF AN ELUSIVE AGE - DEFINITIVE EDITION

I've never played a Dragon Quest game before, so all I had to go on with this game was the pretty looking graphics and charming character art by the Dragonball guy, which- combined with having a hankering for a JRPG, a genre I haven't played since probably the Digital Devil Saga games (minus an abandoned most-of-the-way-done playthrough of SMT3 and a partial of one of the Megadimension Neptunias) was enough to sell me on it. I'm having a tough time determining if it was worth it.

(spoilers)

The story starts off very weak. Your glowing hand marks you as the chosen one, you have to collect glowing orbs to defeat the dark lord. It's like the story of a generic videogame you'd see in the background of a movie. They do throw in a little novelty to keep you on your toes- you present yourself to the king and he throws you in the dungeon, you go back to your hometown and travel back in time for some reason- but I really never warmed to the setting. It's just a collection of cliches and cute gimmicks, like the town of people who speak in haikus, the town of people who speak in rhyming couplets (you're stuck with these people for the bulk of the exposition at the start of act 2, which is a nightmare) and the town of- ugh- Italians. There's no sense of these places being places. It's just a nice pleasant fairytale kingdom of the kind that's normally mentioned in Snow White or whatever as the place the handsome prince comes from, except here you spend dozens of hours trudging through it looking for glowing tree roots and orbs. The big problem in Gallopolis is that the sultan's son isn't brave enough for god's sake. Acts 2 and 3 pick things up, and there's some neat reveals- I like that the lil red star you've been seeing in the sky right from the start was the stain of the original hero's failure to slay the villain, literally hanging over the entire setting all this time. Also the annoying act 1 scene where you get handed the name of the villain and an orb quest in an exposition dump is retroactively improved by the fact that the exposition isn't quite correct. Act 3 reintroducing time travel and actually being thoughtful about it was welcome as well, but sadly that has the effect of making you redo story points you already did since, logically, you're back in time to where you haven't done them yet. Sometimes this comes across as getting a do-over to get a more positive outcome for something that previously ended more tragically, in keeping with the way time travel is explained in-universe as essentially reloading an earlier save (and, as revealed in the end, continuing in a separate save slot). The 8th party member's act 3 quest is a standout here. In reading discussion of the game I've seen people insist on referring to this character as 8, presumably to preserve the plot twist of his existence, so I guess I'll do it too. But more often than not, act 3 quests consist of just doing the same stuff as act 2 again, in a somewhat more curt manner. This sticks in the craw after so much of act 2 already consisted of just doing the same stuff as act 1 again. The party members aren't much better, for the most part. The first three people you meet all say "ah, you're the Luminary, I was sent to help you" and there isn't much to them beyond that for a long time. Sylvando has a lot of personality, which is probably partly why he's become the game's big meme character, but it gets grating and he is insanely trite. The Dark Lord takes over the world and purges the unclean, and Sylvando's overriding concern is that he wants people to laugh and smile more. It's like he takes advantage of the fact that I need him for his boat to get my goat by acting like a fucking teletubby. Things pick way up when you meet Rab, and the 8th party member is genuinely really good. Even the early-game party members end up having their moments (Erik's backstory was pretty fun) but the game really doesn't put its best foot forward with these characters. Not that it needs to; for the first few I was just glad to be getting some help in combat. The combat is excellent in this game, when it gets going. I played with the "draconian quest" tougher enemies mode on, and I turned it off right at the act 2 end boss. The difficulty curve flowed really well this way, with act 3 enemies not feeling noticeably less tough than "draconian" act 2 enemies. The abilities and spells you get are carefully balanced so that it's very difficult to put together a perfect 4-person party, you're always missing something. This means the fact that you can change your line-up midfight isn't just a nice quality of life feature, it's a potentially vital mechanic. They tread a fine line where sometimes needing to swap people out during the battle doesn't mean the characters themselves feel useless; everyone is capable of some extremely tough stuff. And on the other end of the scale, enemy damage is heavy enough that buffing your attack and using big-damage abilities vs healing or defending can be a properly difficult choice; a heavy hit or a big heal at the right time can turn the tide of an entire battle, as can your big hitter suddenly getting put to sleep or your healer getting knocked out. Again, this is all with the caveat that I had "draconian quest" on for the first 2/3 of the game, from what I've heard combat without it is insanely easy. My big gripe with the combat is that there's very little in the way of tooltips. What's this enemy's magic resistance? Does my Sap have a better chance of landing if I up my Magical Might, or does that just increase spell damage? Does Oomphle affect Quadraslash? If I increase my agility will it go up by enough that I can take my turn ahead of these enemies? Does agility even do that? Does using abilities and spells mean I go later in the turn order vs generic attacks and defending? You just have to guess at all this; the wiki has some info on enemy stats but I don't know where they're getting it from other than datamining. There's an entire bestiary with almost no useful information which is functionally just a model viewer for all 700+ enemies. The only way to know anything is to experiment, which I guess at least adds some purpose to combat when you've filled out the bestiary for an area but still have to grid encounters- which will be required at some point, because fighting is the only way you get xp and money. There is also too much RNG. Critical hits being rare and certain attacks having a chance to cause Confusion or whatever is fine (although I'd prefer for attacks which are labelled as having a chance to inflict status effects to actually inflict the status effect way more often than they do) but why the fuck does the resurrection spell have a 50% success rate? Under what possible circumstances would I be using that spell other than needing my dead teammate back right now? Same for all the abilities on the skill tree that say "doesn't connect very often, but when it does it can cause a critical hit" OK that "CAN" is telling me that this ability which doesn't often connect won't even necessarily crit if it does. Why would I choose this ability? To handicap myself? How is this going to help me defeat the Timewyrm? All that said, when the combat is good it's really good, and whenever I lose a fight I'm thinking "I can win that next time if I do XYZ". The 2D battles are much less fun because the pace is much slower and there are no cute animations to liven it up, but it's always satisfying when the "flash" of an enemy taking damage becomes the "flash" of them disappearing, and you know you have slayed yet another blob. Non-combat gameplay is a mixed bag. The early-game fun of running around looking for new enemies to fight and fill out the bestiary wears off hard once act 2 begins and everything is either a reskin or a glowing-eyes "vicious" version of something you've already fought, and many maps are fairly sparse with just the odd treasure chest and locked door to liven up your path to the next area. That said, there are also several areas and dungeons which make a minigame out of traversing them; the Eerie Eyrie and the Battleground were standouts for me. Especially the remixed version of Eerie Eyrie you go to later on, where you get a flying mount to ride around. Crafting is surprisingly involved, with a whole minigame around it and hundreds of recipes to find all over the place. In most cases you can just use money in lieu of ingredients, which means minimal farming is required to get a lot out of the system, and the recipes with ingredients that can't be bought feel special instead of bullshit. In terms of items and recipes there really is a deluge of content- there are recipe books all over the place, with new ones available even in the last couple of maps that open up in the entire game, and there's an undeniable cookie-clicker rush you get from getting better at crafting and taking something you could barely get to +1 all the way to +3. I play games like this as a magpie, accumulating items with nice pictures and effects that make me do a 😲 face, and DQ11 certainly delivers. This even extends to character advancement, with Hidden Goodies incentivizing picking skills you might not want otherwise, and entire new skill trees opening up as quest rewards.

Overall, DQ11 is a good combat system with loot and progression systems that are well-executed enough to feel rewarding after 100 hours, all wrapped up in a style and tone that is not up my alley at all. A good litmus test for how much you'd like the game is probably: watch this scene and if you think it's the most epic thing you've ever seen then Dragon Quest 11 is for you.

#game review #dragon quest

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