#unipedalism

[al-ma-48]

Story in caption. Week 4 - Saci Perere (#creatuanary2023 day 27)

This week I report on another fascinating R&D project by the leading supplier to all the nastiest dungeon keepers in Almaos. This one actually had made it to some test market dungeons! Market research had forecast a vast market for a mischievous but not too aggressive creature for entry-level dungeons. By magically hybridizing a dark gnome, a garden gnome and the infamous one-legged flamingo, R&D created the saci perere, adorable small creatures with one leg, never to be seen without their pipe and a magical red cap. Yet, these annoying tricksters manifested an unrestrained appetite for mischief! Saci would miss no opportunity to play a nasty trick. Initial feedback from the test dungeons promised a huge success - dungeon keepers loved them! That intellectual inhibitions did not restrain their passion for playing tricks was by design and key to their success. Yet, it also proved their undoing as heroes learned to flood the dungeon with cheap, knotted strings. The saci’s craving for pranks compelled to them undo any knot, keeping them too busy to upset the heroes anymore. R&D tried to salvage the project by creating a string devouring slug, but they also ate essential parts of the dungeon infrastructure. In the end, the project had to be abandoned.

For more images and stories see @al-ma-48

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[legend-collection]

Monopods

Monopods (also called sciapods, skiapods, skiapodes) were mythological dwarf-like creatures with a single, large foot extending from a leg centred in the middle of their bodies. The names monopod and skiapod (σκιάποδες) are both Greek, respectively meaning "one-foot" and "shadow-foot".

Monopods appear in Aristophanes' play The Birds, first performed in 414 BC. They are described by Pliny the Elder in his Natural History, where he reports travelers' stories from encounters or sightings of Monopods in India. Pliny remarks that they are first mentioned by Ctesias in his book Indika, a record of the view of Persians of India which only remains in fragments. Pliny describes Monopods like this:

He [Ctesias] speaks also of another race of men, who are known as Monocoli, who have only one leg, but are able to leap with surprising agility. The same people are also called Sciapodae, because they are in the habit of lying on their backs, during the time of the extreme heat, and protect themselves from the sun by the shade of their feet.

Philostratus mentions Skiapodes in his Life of Apollonius of Tyana, which was cited by Eusebius in his Treatise Against Hierocles. Apollonius of Tyana believes the Skiapodes live in India and Ethiopia, and asks the Indian sage Iarkhas about their existence.

St. Augustine (354–430) mentions the "Skiopodes" in The City of God, Book 16, Chapter 8 entitled "Whether Certain Monstrous Races of Men Are Derived From the Stock of Adam or Noah's Sons", and mentions that it is uncertain whether such creatures exist.

Reference to the legend continued into the Middle Ages, for example with Isidore of Seville in his Etymologiae, where he writes:

The race of Sciopodes are said to live in Ethiopia; they have only one leg, and are wonderfully speedy. The Greeks call them σκιαπόδες ("shade-footed ones") because when it is hot they lie on their backs on the ground and are shaded by the great size of their foot.

The Hereford Mappa Mundi, drawn c. 1300, shows a sciapod on one side of the world, as does a world map drawn by Beatus of Liébana (c. 730 – c. 800).

A race of the "One-Legged",or the "Uniped" was allegedly encountered by Thorfinn Karlsefni and his group of Icelandic settlers in North America in the early 11th century, according to the Saga of Erik the Red. The presence of "unipedes maritimi" in Greenland was marked on Claudius Clavus's map dated 1427.

According to the saga, Karlsefni Thorvald Eiriksson and others assembled a search party for Thorhall, and sailed around Kjalarnes and then south. After sailing for a long time, while moored on the south side of a west-flowing river, they were shot at by a one-footed man (einfœtingr), and Thorvald died from an arrow wound.

The saga goes on to relate that the party went northward and approached what they guessed to be Einfœtingaland ("Land of the One-Legged" or "Country of the Unipeds").

According to Carl A. P. Ruck, the Monopods's cited existence in India refers to the Vedic Aja Ekapad ("Not-born Single-foot"), an epithet for Soma. Since Soma is a botanical deity the single foot would represent the stem of an entheogenic plant or fungus.

John of Marignolli (1338–1353) provides another explanation of these creatures. Quote from his travels from India:

The truth is that no such people do exist as nations, though there may be an individual monster here and there. Nor is there any people at all such as has been invented, who have but one foot which they use to shade themselves withal. But as all the Indians commonly go naked, they are in the habit of carrying a thing like a little tent-roof on a cane handle, which they open out at will as a protection against sun or rain. This they call a chatyr; I brought one to Florence with me. And this it is which the poets have converted into a foot.

— 

[peniswizard69]

I had a dream where I watching a Youtube short by @comicaurora about a time Zeus was dating at once some sea goddess and this mortal dude, and he had a son with the mortal dude that was a huge robot with a one leg and the head if a wolf. Someone (who???) killed this son gave Zeus a choice: he could sleep for 4000 years but never see unipedal wolfbot again, or reunite with monopod awooo in death. He chose different in different tellings, but angsted either way

[thedorklegacy]

The Dork Legacy 4.3 part 1

GladOS: It is time to begin the experiment.

Butch Shopper: Hmm...that boot looks pretty nice. I wonder if it's worth buying...

GladOS: Hello, Human Shopper! I see you considering one of our fine Aperture Science Unipedal Coverage Systems! You must be the star of Insert Hometown Here to have such fine taste!

Butch Shopper: Well, now that you mention it, people do kind of look up to me...

GladOS: It is obvious why. Even in your records, it says that you are a very smart individual. And attractive.

Butch Shopper: Wow, really? Yeah, I guess I am kind of a catch!

Butch Shopper: Oh, I wonder if this is the cake that lady was talking about...?

I accidentally cropped out the part of the picture that said "Your business has gone back down to level one!" and something about keeping an eye on your customers. LOL.

Must be the witching hour. Here goes Bilbo...

And Shelby...

And Einstein. Goodbye, old buddy. I'm gonna miss ya. D:

Einstein: Eh, no offense, but I won't miss you too much! Look how huge this drink is! :D

LOL HK-47. :P

Here's Bilbo's old-man makeover.

And Shelby's! Ain't she just the sweetest thing!

Shelby: I was born to be a gramma! :DD

Bilbo: *WHACK*

Shelby: Oooh my dentures flew out somewhere!

GladOS: Phase one of the experiment: HUGE FAILURE. It's hard to understate my satisfaction. :(

Hay thur, Bao-Dur!

Bao-Dur: ...Your wife's a bitch, then you die.

Legacy readers, I present to you the most adorable picture ever to be featured in this legacy.

Originally posted at katu_sims.

[amazinganimalsfacts]

The animal kingdom is full of life, with many species that stand out. Among them, animals starting with "U" are especially interesting. They show us the beauty of nature in new and amazing ways. Did you know the Uakari monkey has a bald head and a bright red face? Or that the Uromastyx lizard can survive weeks without water by getting moisture from its food? These facts highlight the amazing "U" animals. From the beautiful Ugandan kob antelopes to the singing Japanese bush warbler, "U" animals show how diverse life is. This article will explore their unique traits, where they live, and why we should protect them. Key Takeaways The animal kingdom is full of species starting with "U". "U" animals have special adaptations and traits for their environments. From the Uakari monkeys to the Uromastyx lizards, these creatures are truly amazing. It's important to know about the threats these animals face to help protect them. Learning about "U" animals can make us appreciate nature more. Uakaris: Distinctive Bald-Headed Monkeys of the Amazon In the Amazon rainforest, a special monkey catches the eye with its bald head and bright red face. These are the uakaris. They are fascinating to naturalists and wildlife fans. Fascinating Facts about Uakaris The bald uakari is a standout among these primates. They weigh between 6.5 and 7.75 pounds and can be up to 22.5 inches long. Their tail is about 5 inches long. In the wild, they live for 15 to 20 years. In captivity, they can live up to 30 years. They have a territory of about 2 square miles and live in groups of up to 30. Their bright red face helps them communicate with each other. Females start having babies at 3 and have one every two years. Males become ready at 6 and often start their own groups. Uakaris eat fruits, nuts, and seeds. They can travel up to 3 miles a day. This helps spread seeds in their area. But, the bald uakari is at risk. Deforestation and habitat loss threaten their survival. Their numbers have dropped by over 30% in decades. https://youtube.com/watch?v=r_mB-23z4To We need to protect these unique monkeys. This means creating safe areas and managing the land sustainably. These efforts are key to saving the unipede primates of the Amazon. Ugandan Kob: Majestic Antelope of East Africa The Ugandan kob is a standout among Uganda's diverse ungulates. This majestic antelope thrives in East Africa's grasslands and savannas. It calls Uganda, South Sudan, and the Democratic Republic of the Congo home. Interesting Details about the Ugandan Kob This antelope is known for its reddish-brown coat and strong build. Males weigh between 120-210 kilograms. They live in herds of about 40, mixing females, males, and young. During mating, males show off with unguligrade displays. They fight for territory and mating rights. The winners form harems to ensure their genes continue. Uganda is home to 29 antelope species, about one-third of Africa's total. The Ugandan kob is a subspecies of the larger kob antelope, known for its reddish-brown coat and strong build. Ugandan kob herds usually have around 40 members, including females, males, and young. During mating, males fight fiercely to show strength and win dominance and mating rights. The Ugandan kob is a key part of the ecosystem. It helps balance the food chain. These ungulate eat grasses, feeding lions and leopards and keeping the ecosystem in check. "The Ugandan kob is a true symbol of the majesty and diversity of East African wildlife, captivating all who witness its graceful movements and impressive displays." Uguisu: The Melodious Japanese Bush Warbler In Japan's lush forests, the Uguisu, or Japanese Bush Warbler, fills the air with its beautiful songs. This small bird, with its ursine look, is a key part of the urodele and unguis group. It plays a vital role by eating insects and adding to the area's sounds. The Uguisu lives in Japan (except Hokkaido) and the northern Philippines all year.

It's about 15.5 centimeters (6.1 inches) long. Its call, like the "Japanese Nightingale," signals spring and the ume blossom's arrival in Japan. This bird is very important in Japanese culture. It's found in poetry, art, and even has its own special floors in old Japanese buildings. These floors warn of ninjas. The bird's droppings are also used in a skin-whitening powder, showing its wide impact. "The Uguisu's songs are a welcoming sound that heralds the arrival of spring after winter, depicting renewal and rebirth." The Uguisu is seen as a symbol of hope, happiness, and prosperity in Japan. Its songs bring joy and new beginnings after winter. They show the balance and harmony in nature. The Uguisu's importance goes beyond its singing. It's part of Japanese art, literature, and traditions. Its legacy continues to inspire and connect us to nature, symbolizing spring and our bond with the world around us. animal that starts with u: Uinta Chipmunk and Ground Squirrel The Uinta Chipmunk and Uinta Ground Squirrel are fascinating animals that start with the letter U. They are small but play a big role in their ecosystems. They show us how ungu, ungulata, and unipede creatures adapt and behave. Uinta Chipmunk: A Striped Scurry in the Mountains The Uinta Chipmunk, known as Neotamias umbrinus, lives in the western United States' mountains. It has a reddish-brown coat with white stripes on its face and back. This makes it look unique among its Sciuridae family, which includes squirrels. There are 25 chipmunk species, and 24 of them live in North America. The Uinta Chipmunk is one of the special ones in this area. Uinta Ground Squirrel: Burrowing for Survival The Uinta Ground Squirrel, Urocitellus armatus, is a key part of its ecosystem in the western United States. These squirrels live underground, digging tunnels that improve the soil's air flow. They sleep through most of the year and come out in spring to find food. They eat seeds, nuts, and insects, which is important for the local food web. CharacteristicUinta ChipmunkUinta Ground SquirrelScientific NameNeotamias umbrinusUrocitellus armatusHabitatMountainous forests in western USAParts of the western United StatesAppearanceReddish-brown coat, white stripesSmall ground-dwelling squirrelBehaviorMember of the squirrel familyExtensive burrowing, hibernationEcosystem RoleForages for seeds, nuts, and insectsAerates soil, part of local food chain The Uinta Chipmunk and Uinta Ground Squirrel show us the special traits of animals that start with the letter U. They highlight the diversity of ungu, ungulata, and unipede creatures in nature. Umbrella-Inspired Creatures: Umbrellabirds and Umbrella Octopuses The animal kingdom is full of fascinating creatures, and some are inspired by the umbrella. The umbrellabird and the umbrella octopus are two examples. They have amazing adaptations that make them stand out. Fascinating Facts about Umbrellabirds and Umbrella Octopuses The umbrellabird lives in the rainforests of Central and South America. It's known for its umbrella-like crest on its head. This crest can grow big or small, depending on the situation. The male umbrellabird uses its crest and a big throat pouch to attract mates. These features help it survive and reproduce in the dense forest. The umbrella octopus lives deep in the ocean. It has a body that looks like an umbrella and tentacles with webbing. This makes it look unique and interesting. This octopus shows how life in the ocean has evolved to be different. It's a great example of how creatures adapt to their environments. "The umbrellabird's crest and inflatable throat pouch are used to attract mates, showcasing their remarkable adaptations for survival and reproduction in the dense forest environment." The umbrellabird and the umbrella octopus show how diverse and adaptable life is. They remind us of the wonders in nature. They inspire us to appreciate the complex web of life around us.

Unguligrade Ungulates: Urials and Unicorn Crestfish In the world of animals that start with "U," the Urial and the Unicorn Crestfish are unique. The Urial is a wild sheep that lives in the mountains of Central and South Asia. It has big, curved horns and reddish-brown fur. These animals live in different places, from grassy hills to rocky areas, eating grasses and herbs. The Unicorn Crestfish is another special unguligrade. It's a fish that lives in coral reefs and has a long body with a horn on its forehead. It looks like a small underwater unicorn, which makes it very interesting to people who love the sea and nature. UrialUnicorn CrestfishWild sheep species found in Central and South Asia Reddish-brown fur and impressive, curved horns Adapted to grassy slopes and rocky outcrops Graze on a mix of grasses and herbs Population decline due to hunting and habitat lossTropical fish in the genus Naso, found in coral reefs Characterized by a long, slender body and a prominent horn-like projection on its forehead Resembles a miniature underwater unicorn Captivates marine enthusiasts and nature lovers Adapted to thrive in the diverse coral reef ecosystem The Urial and the Unicorn Crestfish show how diverse and fascinating unguligrade ungulates are. They have amazing adaptations and features that make them special in the animal world. Unraveling the Mysteries of Uromastyx Lizards The Uromastyx is a fascinating lizard that lives in the hot deserts of North Africa and the Middle East. They are known for their bright scales and spiny tails. These features have made them a favorite among reptile lovers and scientists. Intriguing Facts about Uromastyx Lizards Uromastyx lizards eat plants like leaves, seeds, and flowers. They can survive for weeks without water by getting moisture from the plants they eat. This helps them live in the dry deserts they call home. When threatened, these lizards use their spiny tails to defend themselves. They stiffen their tails and swing them like a whip to scare off predators. Their bright colors and this behavior make them interesting to watch in the wild. SpeciesDistributionDietDistinctive FeaturesEgyptian Uromastyx (Uromastyx aegyptia)North Africa, Middle EastHerbivorous, feeding on leaves, flowers, and seedsBright yellow to orange coloration, large spiny tailSaharan Uromastyx (Uromastyx geyri)Sahara Desert, North AfricaHerbivorous, consuming a variety of desert plantsGrayish-brown coloration, long spiny tailYemen Uromastyx (Uromastyx yemenensis)Yemen, Saudi ArabiaHerbivorous, feeding on succulents and other desert vegetationVibrant blue and green coloration, shorter, more rounded tail Uromastyx lizards are still a mystery to many, but they continue to fascinate us. Their unique traits and behaviors show us the beauty of nature. These unguis species, with their special features, remind us of the wonders of the world around us. Unique Birds: Uluguru Violet-Backed Sunbird and Ulysses Butterfly In the lush rainforests of East Africa, the Uluguru Violet-Backed Sunbird shines with its purple-blue feathers. This small bird has a unique bill that curves downward. It loves to visit flowers for nectar, moving from one to another. Despite being fewer in number, it still charms those who love birds and nature. In Australia, Indonesia, Papua New Guinea, and nearby islands, the Ulysses Butterfly is a star. It's known for its bright blue color and wide wings. This butterfly is special in Australia and needs a permit to breed, showing its unique place among our planet's creatures. Uluguru Violet-Backed SunbirdUlysses ButterflyNative to East AfricaNative to Australia, Indonesia, Papua New GuineaKnown for its iridescent purple-blue plumageKnown for its bright blue color and large wingspanDeclining population due to habitat lossDesignated as a significant species in Australia, requiring a breeding permitSmall passerine bird with a downward-curving billLarge butterfly, with a wingspan up to nearly six inches wide

The Uluguru Violet-Backed Sunbird and the Ulysses Butterfly show the amazing diversity of nature. They have unique traits and special ways of living. These creatures inspire and amaze us, reminding us of the beauty in our world. Unraveling the Ungu: Underwood's Long-Tongued Bat and Ural Field Mouse In the animal kingdom, two creatures that start with "u" catch our eye. Underwood's Long-Tongued Bat and the Ural Field Mouse are special. They have unique traits that make them stand out in nature. Intriguing Details about Underwood's Long-Tongued Bat and Ural Field Mouse Underwood's Long-Tongued Bat lives in Central and South America. It has a long tongue for drinking nectar from flowers. Its quick moves and skill in the dense foliage show how it has adapted over time. The Ural Field Mouse is a small rodent from northern Eurasia. It has thick fur and can sleep through the cold winter. Its ability to survive in tough conditions shows its strength and cleverness. SpeciesHabitatUnique CharacteristicsUnderwood's Long-Tongued BatCentral and South AmericaRemarkably long tongue used for nectar feedingUral Field MouseNorthern EurasiaDense fur coat and ability to enter torpor during winter These animals show how diverse and adaptable nature is. Their special traits and behaviors fascinate us. They also remind us of the need to protect and learn about these amazing creatures. Conclusion From the bald Uakari monkeys in the Amazon to the majestic Ugandan Kob in the African savannah, the animal kingdom is full of diverse creatures starting with "U." Each one shows the incredible variety of life on Earth, with unique adaptations and behaviors. Exploring these "U" animals helps us appreciate the natural world and its wonders. The Uguisu's call and the Ulysses Butterfly's look are just a few examples of how these animals capture and inspire us. Learning about them reminds us of the need to protect their homes for future generations. This way, we can continue to marvel at the animal kingdom's diversity. The animal world, from deep oceans to high mountains, is a rich tapestry of diversity. Each "U" animal has a key role in keeping ecosystems balanced. By understanding and valuing these creatures, we enrich our lives and help protect the natural world we depend on. FAQ What are some unique animals that start with the letter "U"? Animals starting with "U" include the Uakari, Ugandan Kob, Uguisu, Uinta Ground Squirrel, Umbrellabird, Urial, Uromastyx, Uluguru Violet-Backed Sunbird, Ulysses Butterfly, Underwood's Long-Tongued Bat, and Ural Field Mouse. What is the Uakari known for? The Uakari stands out with its bald head and bright red face. It lives in the Amazon rainforest. This monkey is key to spreading seeds in its home. What makes the Ugandan Kob unique? The Ugandan Kob is famous for its beauty and elegance in the African savannah. It has a reddish-brown coat. During mating, it fights for hours without stopping. What is special about the Uguisu? The Uguisu, or Japanese Bush warbler, is a small songbird in Japan. It's known for its beautiful song and eating insects. It also helps with seed dispersal and adds to the local sounds. What are the unique characteristics of the Uinta Ground Squirrel and Uinta Chipmunk? The Uinta Ground Squirrel digs complex underground tunnels. This helps the soil breathe. The Uinta Chipmunk has a reddish-brown coat and white stripes. It's a medium-sized rodent in the squirrel family. What makes the Umbrellabird and Umbrella Octopus unique? The Umbrellabird has a special crest on its head that looks like an umbrella. It also has a big throat pouch that gets bigger when it makes sounds. The Umbrella Octopus has a see-through body and webbed tentacles, making it look like an umbrella. What are the distinguishing features of the Urial and Unicorn Crestfish? The Urial is a wild sheep with big, curved horns in Central and South Asia's mountains.

The Unicorn Crestfish is a fish with a long body and a horn on its forehead, making it look like a mini unicorn. How do Uromastyx lizards adapt to their desert environment? Uromastyx lizards live in North Africa and the Middle East's hot deserts. They have colorful scales and spiny tails for defense. They can survive weeks without water by getting moisture from plants. What are the unique features of the Uluguru Violet-Backed Sunbird and Ulysses Butterfly? The Uluguru Violet-Backed Sunbird has males with purple-blue feathers. The Ulysses Butterfly is big and bright blue, found in Australia and nearby islands. It's known for its size and color. What are the distinctive characteristics of Underwood's Long-Tongued Bat and the Ural Field Mouse? Underwood's Long-Tongued Bat eats nectar with its long tongue in Central and South America. The Ural Field Mouse has thick fur and can sleep through the cold winter in northern Eurasia.

[elmatadorisgay]

Some Cool Headcannon Stuff

Have you ever wanted to know what hand is your favorite player's dominant hand? Well I found some studies that somewhat correlate what foot the player prefers to what is their preferred hand.

If you don't want to look through the studies I linked here's a tl:dr:

Studies find that if someone is right footed they are more likely to also be right handed rather than left. (67% right footed for right hand compared to 30% mixed and 3% left. For left foot 60% left hand.)There is also correlation between left hand and foot but not really as strong.

[juniperusashei]

The Vinland Sagas translated by Magnus Magnusson and Hermann Pálsson - 3/5

Usually I think it’s kind of silly when the introduction and notes take up more space in a book than the actual “feature presentation,” but in this case I actually found the commentary a lot more interesting than the primary texts (“Grænlendinga Saga” and “Eirik’s Saga”). Magnus Magnusson and Hermann Pálsson did a great job of providing a lot of background on the Vinland Sagas, while also staying concise. I feel like I learned a lot more from the context than the actual sagas themselves, which seem mostly famous because they (briefly) concern colonization of America. They’re not the longest Icelandic sagas, nor are they the oldest, and they’re probably not the most interesting either, except that they play into the American mythos in a very metatextual way. Aside from that, it’s just very sparse prose about a bunch of guys named Thor-something killing each other for no reason. The two sagas tell the same story, with a few variations (most interestingly Eirik’s Saga tells of a mythical unipedal creature and of Hvítramannaland, where white guys shout and wave around poles — possibly a suggestion that the Irish Papar made it to America before the Vikings did, and just wanted to be left alone?)

[philosophicalconservatism]

There are only two sexes because there are only two functional roles in reproduction. A human hermaphodite is a person with a biological disorder. Until a third role in reproduction is invented there can never be a "third sex".

Let's take an analogy. Human beings are bipedal mammals (two-legged). Now if a man is born with one leg, he does not suddenly become a new variety of human being (unipedal man) he is simply a member of a two legged species with a birth disorder that has left him with one leg. We do not question whether human beings as a species are actually bipedal mammals simply because some human beings are born with one leg or with no legs. And therefore we have no logical business doing so when it comes to sex.

[4cupsanxiety5tbspdepression]

i'm really sick and tired of the lack of unipedal, polypedal and other types of locomotion representation and positivity in media so i'm gonna do it myself

bivalvia and gastropoda molluscs? super fcking valid

bacteria using their flagella ? gorgeous gorgeous

animals that use pedal locomotory waves ? literally perfect

lateral undulation ? so beautiful i'm gonna cry

millipedes ? centipedes ? inchworms ? ong i'm shaking

BIPEDS DO NOT INTERACT

[yssring]

new bug releasing right now!! : unipede.. iet went extint sorry

[mutant-distraction]

Scientists don’t know for sure why some birds like the great blue heron stand around on one leg. The most convincing theory is for heat conservation, as “unipedal resting” (standing on one leg) reduces the amount of heat lost from featherless limbs by 50%. Other theories include resting one leg for energy conservation or as a hunting strategy, as standing on one leg makes the great blue heron look more like a tree with a thin trunk to oblivious crustaceans and fish.

📍: Dr. Julian G. Bruce St. George Island State Park

📸IG: alittlesliceofadventure

⭐: Great Blue Heron (Ardea herodias)

[dyggot]

Tripedal sprigatito. Unipedal sprigatito.

[vyuric]

growing up, my brother and i spent summers abroad with our extended family in korea. my parents appreciated the reprieve from two high energy kids in their busiest work months, and my brother and i loved to be spoiled by our four grandparents.

through the duration of these three humid months, we were shuttled between our paternal grandparents' flat in the city and our maternal family's compound an hour away. my mother's parents own a few plots of land throughout the town, purchased with settlement money from a factory accident that left my grandfather unipedal. over time, this land was converted into small farms and orchards. our family meals often included fresh red lettuce and shiso leaves to eat with barbecue, pumpkin varietals in spicy stews, and korean chili peppers dried in the sun and fermented into paste.

between our travels between the two homes, our maternal grandparents would pack boxes of fresh produce to send back with us into the city. our paternal grandparents would then spend at least a week drying, seasoning, and pickling the harvest into various forms of kimchi. this was a ritual for our two extended families, one that my brother and I continue to witness whenever we fly back to visit.

at the end of each summer, once everything was perfectly fermented and triple-saran wrapped, we packed our four large suitcases, once filled with godiva chocolates and centrum silvers from the states, with enough kimchi to raise a TSA agent's suspicions. my grandfather would then weigh each bag, tie a ribbon on the handle, and chain smoke cigarettes outside the apartment until we had to leave. our 14-hour flight home was always bookmarked with some sort of kimchi-unpacking extravaganza.

when i open my refrigerator today, i see kimchi from our last trip to korea, a visit my mom and i were able to squeeze in right before the global pandemic. for me, kimchi is an act of love, a bridge between two countries, a ritual for two families, and a placeholder until the next trip to come.

[paralysis-comic]

yourocsbackstory week 3: education

@yourocsbackstory || [read on wattpad]

so this ones kinda long huh. tw for ableism, self injurious behaviour, just a lot of crying

But Not Too Familiar (Baby Blues: Interlude)

September 2009

The word school has been fucking you up for a while now. Mum says that’s just how school is. Dad says she’s wrong.

He came into your horrible little room one evening and said he was very sorry for not being a good dad, that he’d promised your previous dad to do a better job, that he would show that bastard Atticus, that he’d get you through school no matter what, all of it, right up to uni. You didn’t really know what uni was.

John said school is designed to make you think you’re meant to be learning French and Geography and stuff, when they’re really sorting you into popular, unpopular or medium. The medium ones, he said, make the best adults. He said occasionally, you get these edge cases—kids who have so many friends that they can’t imagine anyone not liking them, and the ones who don’t have any so no one bothers trying to find them some—those, he said, never last. He wrote all this out on a piece of A5 paper in his own horrible little room, while writing at your mutual parents about things that nine-year-olds don’t concern themselves with.

He also told you not to bother with uni.

•

And he says it again as he pauses outside the gates.

You look around. Ysgol Blodeuwedd Tudur—or Blodeuwedd Tudor Primary School And Nursery, as it says underneath—is bigger and shinier than you imagined. John’s staring at it too. Mum sort of shepherds you both through (is it shepherding if you’re both willing to go? And if theres only two of you?). You can’t see her face from where you are, but she sounds weird, both crosser and gentler. You stop for a second and turn around. She’s got her hand on John’s shoulder and keeps glancing at the other mums.

You’re not yet sure who you’re supposed to know and who you’re not. Maybe the girls who just came out from amongst them and are hugging you. They have nice vibes, rather than the ok and oh no vibes that everyone else has. According to their book bags, they are Cerys Thomas and Louise Yang. They are decent.

The sound of tiny little footsteps brings your attention away from them. You look up to see a stocky, curly haired boy sort of skid to a halt beside you. He raises his arms to wrap them around your neck, then stops.

“Do you remember me?”

You look down. You do remember Diane. Kind of. You don’t remember his middle name, his birthday or his favourite colour, but still…

“I remember you’re my best friend.”

He goes blank for a second, then he hugs you harder then you’ve ever been hugged in your life this year.

“We missed you SO MUCH Mrs Davies was being REALLY MEAN they haven’t changed the REGISTER yet and we thought you moved SCHOOLS—“

“Son, we don’t talk about that in public. And why don’t you let go of Iffy, you’re wobbling her crutches.”

He rearranges his arms into a position more accommodating to your unipedality.

You’re having a hard time thinking; partly from the dread-induced skeletal inertia and enteral pain, partly because there are at least five conversations going on around you (four spoken, one written). John holds this morning’s piece of paper in your direction.

she thinks letting me stay over therell make her look like a bad mother

any idea why she touched me like that? almost rather her wheeling me herself

You read it a few times (sometimes his handwriting is too neat) and shrug. You can’t talk in front of all these people and, well, you can’t write in front of anyone. Before you can dwell on how you’re gonna get through Year 5 if you can’t write, he pulls you over to the patch of concrete by the main doors. Mum hurries after you. She tells him off very quietly while you steal his headphones. He says you used to do that every day before he moved to London. You’re not sure about his taste in music.

•

In Year 1, no one was sure whether you were Iphigenia St. David or Iphigenia Richard or Iphigenia Henderson, so they put you at the top of the register. In Year 5, that means you sit right by the door, on a table with Stacey Ashton, Calum Beddoes, Dai Borgstein and Tonya Bufton. It’s the only table here with 5 seats instead of 4.

And it’s right by Mrs Davies’s desk.

She’s doing the register silently, so no one has to say why Gellert and Harvey and Suzie and Hector aren’t here. Sometimes she looks up sharply at you and raises her eyebrows in a way that says you should be focusing on doing your mental maths. Occasionally she says, “Do you want anything?” in a way that says you shouldn’t be wanting anything at all, no, not you, the girl who could walk and talk and write just fine in Year 4, what makes my class any different, Gina?

But the paper in front of you is evading you right now. Actually, no, it’s not the paper, it’s the white noise of 23 nine-year-olds (and Stacey) not quite whispering, it’s Mrs Davies clickiticlackiting on word or whatever, it’s stacey asking you if you need any help in that loud, over-enunciated way that girls whose birthdays are in September have, it’s the girls on the next table gossiping with Tonya, it’s Tonya turning to look at you and looking back at them and laughing, it’s Calum asking you why you can call Dai Diane and he can’t, it’s everyone calling you Gina, it’s not remembering what your name is meant to be, it’s everything else in your head that’s not letting the mental maths in, it’s everyone telling you things that apparently happened, things that you did, horrible things, things that will keep you up at night for years, it’s Calum snapping his pencil because he knows it makes you cry, it’s the feeling like you’re falling, and you might well be, who gives a f—

It’s Mrs Davies clicking her fingers in front of your face.

Everyone’s staring at you. You don’t move. You don’t say anything.

You can’t.

“Well?”

You don’t answer. Partly because no, you’re not well, anyone can see that, but mostly because… you have no idea what she’s asked of you.

“You know what perimeter is, Gina. D’you want to tell me?”

OK, sure, yeah, you know what a perimeter is. You know how to spell it, you know how to work it out, you know the relationship between it and area (John told you), you—

Maybe you don’t know what perimeter is.

And that’s not the voice she uses with Stacey. Or Tonya. Or anyone else. That’s not even the voice she used in assembly, when all the Key Stage 1 kids were there. That’s the voice that…

Fuck.

“No. Don’t.”

You try and let the sound of your breathing take over the giggling and the eyes upon you, and it kind of works because you’re breathing so loudly. Every muscle in your body is tensed to stop you rocking back and forth.

Or worse.

“Look at me.”

Huh? No. No, you’re not doing that.

“Gina.”

And that’s not your name. You don’t have a name anymore.

Something happens right by your ear, but you can’t identify it amongst everything else. Your eyes squinch shut and for a moment you can see her leaning over you.

You go cold.

You whimper slightly, pulling away, expecting your head to hit metal but theres nothing there. No, god, don’t fall, don’t-

You’re jerked forward, upright. You open your eyes to make sure you’re definitely in the classroom. There’s a voice to your right.

“Mr Lloyd never did that.”

“Well, I’m not Mr Lloyd.”

The hand around your left bicep moves to raise your head.

“Look at me.”

Your head comes up, and you look at her.

And now you are screaming.

“No. we don’t do that.”

You wrench your head to the right to look at Diane, but you can’t look at him, so you stare at the wall like you’re looking for something very specific on the Roald Dahl poster. The wall is too white and too far away. It hurts like hell.

Diane moves somewhat into view. He’s a bit close, bless him, but the blurry shape of his face and hair are easier on your healing eye.

He looks up at Mrs Davies (still shouting, but you’re trying to block her out) and moves away with a start. You can see his expression more clearly now; he’s worried, really worried, but you can’t work out why exactly. No one else seems to be.

After a moment of dithering, he gingerly takes hold of Mrs Davies’s left hand and prises her index finger off you. Something moves in your peripheral vision and you instinctively look back at her. She snatches away her hand, gouging her fingers into your flimsy little arm, feeling the bone. The force almost launches you at Calum. She lunges at Diane with what can only be described as teacherly incredulity.

“Uh-“

That noise. It’s familiar, but you can’t place it. It reminds you of the noise your dad makes when you start crying, but scary. Like she wants to collect more tears from you, not wipe them away. Well, you’re crying now. Is that what she wants?

“Dai?”

Some of the other kids do that fake-gasp-and-real-titter that kids are wont to do when someone’s properly getting what for. A few of them gasp for real, the ones in the quagmire between friend and stranger that bullies so often occupy, the ones that have forgotten that Diane isn’t his real name. Matthew Powell says they’ll do you for saying that to a pupil. Stacey asks if you’re alright again. You certainly don’t look alright—you’re shivering all over now and you’re not sure why. Diane starts crying as well.

Mrs Davies takes her hands off you and frowns at him.

“We don’t need that from you, Dai.”

All the tension from being grasped drains out of you and you flop down onto the table. You try to convince yourself that you’re somewhere else, but you don’t have enough memories of nice places yet. You’re having the same overwhelming sadness as you did when you first got home, but you’re too tired to cry now. Diane isn’t.

You want to comfort him, but Stacey is doing that already. She doesn’t look very good at it; he’s crying in a different way and he keeps reaching out to hold your hand. Mrs Davies says not to give you any attention.

You pretend there’s no one in the room except you and him.

He says your name. Maybe he wants you to look at his face again. You try, because you want him to know you’re alright, and then maybe he’ll be alright too.

But god, you can’t. You just can’t.

He raises his hand again, and Stacey grabs it back.

“No,” she says.

You go cold again.

For fuck’s sake.

•

Mrs Davies sits down at her desk and tells everyone to be quiet and do their work and to Not Give You Any Attention. Even Stacey. Even when you’re making all this noise. And, for the first time today, you remember why you are.

And you don’t fucking like it.

Diane nudges you and gestures to his worksheet. The old John Fairfax manoeuvre.

do you want me to tell her ?

You nod. He wipes the tears of his face and puts his hand up. How does he compose himself so fast?

A few minutes later, you look out the window to the hall. You’re still crying and shivering, so Stacey tries to pull you back down. Diane and Mrs Davies are heading towards reception. A thought occurs to you. Calum grabs one of your crutches and you fall against the bookcase. Mrs Davies turns around, sees you and starts shrieking at you for some reason. You look at Diane and gesture to the Year 1 class as much as you can with no free hands. He gets it.

When Mrs Davies gets to you, she runs her hands down her face, makes a frustrated noise, and drags you out into the hall. You drop your crutches. She makes you sit down (you can’t get back up on your own), puts your worksheet in your left hand (you don’t have a thumb on that hand) and your pencil in your right hand (you’re left handed). She goes back into the classroom. She throws your crutches in your general direction. She slams the door. Fuck, it’s really gonna be like this every day, isn’t it?

You’re really crying now. Your throat has been hurting for quite a while. When you were in the classroom, it hurt to swallow, and now you can’t even feel yourself swallowing. Especially with your prosthetic tongue. and you’re tired as fuck.

You wait for Nesta to come out of Class 1, or at least for Diane to come back. Anyone. There’s a clock at the far end of the hall, but its too far away to see. Whatever. Time is a mystery to you anyway.

All this fear is making you feel like you’re about to both hurl and shit yourself—and to be honest, you wouldn’t really care if you did. You look down at yourself. At your hands. For a second, you swear you’re in hospital again. You emit a blood curdling scream and throw yourself to the side like you normally do, but instead of a mattress or a rail or thin air, there’s just floor.

You see legs.

Nesta says a long something to Diane while you continue to scream, and he starts to go inside. He pauses and turns around. Nesta takes out her notebook, scribbles some stuff down and gives it to him. Hey, you recognise that notebook. While he’s gone, you start to really miss him. You snuggle up to him when he comes back. You stay like that while Nesta goes to reception. You calm down a bit. Mrs jones comes out with her and stalks over to you, telling you to get up. She shuts up when she notices your missing leg and the bruise on your face. She says she doesn’t think you’ve got a concussion, but she’s not sure. Nesta says your dad’s coming to pick you up.

You don’t think school is meant to be like this.

[urbanartuploads]

another serpentine dragon [above] is a photo of graffiti street art found anno 2018 in San Francisco CA that depicts specifically: | a mural [by artist @lukedragon99] featuring a seemingly unipedal dragon with a red body and an elaborate face framed by a blond mane holding a golden pearl and floating over purple lotus blossoms standing to the right of Guan Yin |[americanifesto - 場黑麥 - jpr - urbanartopia - whorphan]

[dollyllama108]

She sends him a drawing of a unipede: a bug with 100 legs that share a single foot. The foot is attempting to give a thumbs-up but you can’t really tell.

Catastrophe Theory, ‘Heart, Head, Hands, Hector’

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