peniswizard69

[peniswizard69]

God I fucking love milk

[peniswizard69]

[peniswizard69]

in a moment, everything can change

[peniswizard69]

The weirdest guy I ever met in a church was this boy who referred to “Buzz Aldrin and his husband” going to the moon. I was completely baffled, and when I asked if he’d misspoken, he got really angry and accused me of being deliberately ignorant of the facts. It turned out that he was somehow comvinced that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were married. It took five Wikipedia articles to convince him otherwise.

[peniswizard69]

mh computer tryin to say chimichangas I give uP

[peniswizard69]

Was talking to a coworker today who explained that her grandfather was like Snow White “but Californian. And an old man.” in that the creatures of the forest would follow him around and presumably duet with him.

“When he died the ravens sat in the trees outside for a week, watching. Taking turns. A horde of raccoons tried to break into the house every night, tearing at the siding. Eventually they gave up, but it was unsettling.”

“Aww. They were checking on him!” I said, like a normal person. Internally, I thought “Maybe you could do the thing you do with dead pets, where you show them to the living pets so the living pet understands they’re gone. But I guess if you did that to a bunch of scavenging species, they’d be like “Well, that’s very sad but he IS food now.” So what you’d need, for human sensibilities, is some sort of transparent corpse barrier. Like a see-through coffin oh that’s what the dwarves were doing! You’ve stopped paying attention to this conversation about the loss of a beloved family member you gotta phase back in.”

[peniswizard69]

william the conqueror: i shall take england for normandy and become its king

william the concurrer: i agree

[peniswizard69]

unsheathed

[peniswizard69]

opens my camera roll for a selfie and realizes i haven’t taken a non-nude photo of myself in like a month

[peniswizard69]

I'm around 🕴️

🦋

[peniswizard69]

Found this randomly on a walk. I didn't see any sharp blades or anything anywhere so I'm???

[peniswizard69]

when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue

[peniswizard69]

[peniswizard69]

It's good that there's exactly 100 gecs because it's very easy to format statistics about them as percentages

[peniswizard69]

“What do you mean the tower is gone? Are you sure you’re in the right place? I actually used more colorful words than that,” Brett Elmore recounted to NBC News. “He said there’s wires all over the ground and the tower is gone.”

[peniswizard69]

thought too hard about MRI machines today and had this come to me in a vision