#unleashing my drafts: continued

[heybaetae]

ethereal ✨ for @jung-koook cr. namuspromised

[misslovasstuff]

stylist!sanji x fem!reader

summary: Sanji makes you a nice dress. Of course he is quite excited to see it on you.

warning: contains nsfw, praising, penetration, dirty talk, aftercare, vanilla…

author’s note: this has been in my drafts for too long, hope you guys enjoy!

“You made this… for me?” - your eyes sparkle with joy as you stare at the dress your boyfriend had crafted specifically for you. There was no occasion or need for it. Actually when you asked him why is he gifting you this, he simply answered:

“Can’t I spoil my princess a little?”

Your mouth drops as you approach and observe it closely. The color, the fabric, the cut… everything was perceived as you wanted it.

Of course it would turn out perfect. Sanji designed it with only you in mind, he breathed life to this dress with the idea and hope to seeing you wearing it. He didn’t even take your measurements, he didn’t need to. Your man knows every inch of your body and made the dress to fit those pretty curves of yours perfectly, he was certain.

“Love, don’t you want to try it on?” - he asks, taking his glasses off and putting on the table nearby, leaning his hips against it while crossing his arms with a smile.

“I don’t think that was a question now, was it?” - you mirror his smile and start making your way to the dressing room when a cough interrupts your pace.

“Mhm?” - you turn around, confused.

“It’s only us in this place. You can dress up here. - Sanji smirks, tilting his head as his eyes scan you from head to toe. - You know, just in case you need assistance.”

“So professional of you, love… it’s so hot when you’re so dedicated.” - you say, raising an eyebrow and smirking back to him. - Sure, I’ll try it on right here.”

The blond’s heartbeat fastens as he swallows hard and licks his lips. You begin by hanging the dress close by. It’s not hard to notice his eyes fixated on you, so you try your best to maintain eye contact with him as you unbutton your shirt slowly.

one, two, three…and there it was.

nothing would have prepared Sanji for the view he has in front of him right now. You weren’t wearing a bra and your whole chest, bare chest, was exposed to your boyfriend who seemed to gasp under his breath as he takes a strong grip on the table’s corner.

“Fuck, babe… going out like this? - he takes a step closer towards you but is soon stopped by facing your palm, signaling him to stop.

“You said you’d watch in case I needed assistance. Do I look like I need help?” - you widen your eyes and smile, lowering your hand and continuing taking off your shirt completely. Your hair moves along and then falls gracefully on your chest. You sensually push them back, letting your hand trace the skin of your neck as you close your eyes for a second, feeling quite satisfied with the way Sanji was holding his breath whilst looking at you.

“Oh, I’ll tell you what you look like… - Sanji says, his chest raising and falling a bit faster as he registers every move of yours in his head. - You look like you’ve had some sort of intention since the beginning, knowing you’d come here and see me.”

“Let’s just say you’ve been in my head all day.” - You respond to his remark and continue undressing, now grabbing your skirt that was up your waist and slowly pulling it down. It falls on the floor and you stare at it for a while.

“Oops, don’t want to make a mess.” - you say, bending over to grab the skirt from the floor, providing Sanji with a full view of your ass which made him bite his lip and unleash a bit his collar which felt so restricting in this very moment. However it wasn’t the tie that leaving him out of breath. It was taking a whole lot of power for him not to move forward, not to touch you and give in to the temptation of tracing your lines with his fingers while his lips leave signature kisses on your warm skin.

“Yes, better not get too messy, sweetheart. - Sanji says, picking a cigar out of his pocket and lightning it. He puts it between his lips and exhales the smoke while looking up and down at your body. - Need some help with those tights?”

You gulp hard, your heart beating faster once you realise that once he touches you, even the fire of a thousand cigarettes could never compare to the flame that arises once his breath alone tingles your lips before he kisses them.

“Yes, please.”

Sanji finally approaches with a smirk.

“No need to beg yet, sweetheart.”

He puts the cigarette back to his lips and kneels down, looking up at you. In response you smile, a bit of blush appearing on your face.

“What a view… no matter from what angle I look at you, my heart always stops and only starts beating again when you give me that smile.”

He pats his thigh for you to rest your foot. You don’t hesitate in following his command, however your mind was going crazy when you stare at him for a bit. He looked so hot; his tie was a bit unleashed, revealing his chest so subtly. His gorgeous hands ready to touch you, his eyes that were gentle yet hungry came over you. Not to mention his lips that held the cigarette, whose smoke reached your nostrils but you were used to that now.

“Good girl.” - he says, tracing your legs with his fingertips, going all the way up to your inner thighs where he stops and parts them away. He gets a small gasp out of you. - Now now, what is this reaction?”

You take a hold of his tie as he squeezes your right inner thigh, almost sticking his nails into your skin. Then he slaps it, grabbing it and pulling you closer. His hot breath is now between your legs. You can feel his smirk as his mouth approaches.

You run your fingers through his hair right when you thought he was going to eat you out. However, Sanji had other plans in mind.

He backs away and tilts his head up to look at you.

“Having second thoughts?” - you provoke him, meeting his piercing gaze.

His hand travels up to the back of your leg, right under your ass cheeks. With his other hand he takes his cigar and exhales the smoke up to you, while looking with such a hot expression on his face.

“Second thoughts? More like thinking about a hundred ways I could fuck you good right now.”

You blush tremendously, your body frozen in place.

His hand now grabs your butt, squeezing it and then climbing higher to your back, pulling your tights down gently.

The tights go down and are accompanied by his hand tracing your bare skin left behind which send shivers down your body.

Once they’re off, he takes them and puts them away.

“Beautiful.” - he says, planting small kisses on your thigh while caressing it.

Just as you’re about to get turned on, Sanji gets up and exhales the smoke once again while lending the dress to you. This man was teasing you and clearly enjoying it.

However, you don’t give in to his teasing, thus you take the dress and wear it, pulling it down and fixing your hair after. It fits nicely and the color looks great on you. However, Sanji looks sceptical about it. You notice him by looking at the mirror reflection. He approaches from behind you and says:

“Now, love, that’s not the final look. Come here.”

Sanji is one of those men that guides and leads you gently. Now, he smirks under his breath, tying the ribbon behind your back then touching your hips, pulling you closer to his body, making you feel his excitement.

“Crazy how I put you in this myself and want you out of it right now, so badly…” - Sanji places a kiss on your shoulder, the tip of his nose tracing your skin, giving a tickling sensation.

“Sanji…” - you breathily moan his name, tilting your head as you run your fingers through his hair, feeling his lips buried deep in the skin of your neck.

Those pretty sounds of yours flipped a switch for the blond, picking you up and resting you to the table, parting your legs nicely to make room for him.

His arms stand firm on both your sides, surrounding you as his body hovers over yours. You put your arms around his shoulders, staring deeply into his eyes.

“This isn’t very professional, making out with your girlfriend in your studio…” - you tease, taking his cigar from his mouth and sucking it. The smoke you exhale is all over his face, to which he gives a satisfying smirk.

“I’m testing the product, wanna see how flexible it can get.” - he pulls you by the waist and you arch your back, surrounding to his presence.

He takes the cigarette out of your mouth and throws it away, crushing his lips with yours as your hands run around his back.

You moan in his mouth as his tongue explores yours, his kisses taking your breath away as your hands clench to the fabric of his shirt.

“I guess I wasn’t the only one thinking about this all day. - you tease, caressing his lower lip with your thumb. There is a moment of intense eye contact before you start feeling his smile under his breath as he’s kissing your skin all the way from your jaw to your collarbones, making you leave out small moans that always give him an instant turn on. Fairly, everything about you does. To add a bit more gasoline to the fire, you whisper in his ear:

“Tell me, out of those hundreds of ways you were thinking of fucking me, which one do you like the most?” - your whispering voice sends shivers down his body as he pulls you in even closer to his embrace, giving a hickey on the nape of your neck then kissing it gently. You were slowly turning into a moaning mess.

“What if I say I liked all of them, would you know why that is?” - he says, his hand travelling up your neck and taking a light grip to it while his piercing gaze was on you.

With a shake of the head, your eyes go down his shirt where you reach out to unbutton it. However, Sanji grabs your chin so your eyes are fixed on his.

“It’s because in all of them, you’re screaming in pleasure.”

You bite your lip, feeling like his eyes were eating you alive.

Sanji gets back, hands away from you as he watches in satisfaction you unbuttoning his shirt, letting his bare chest be visible to your eyes that had gotten dry before seeing it.

He doesn’t move and just observes what you’re going to do next, how much you want him and how desperate you’ve been all day for him.

Your mind is all foggy, so much so that reason has left and has made space only for desire. You grab his belt and pull him closer, feeling his sex pressed against yours. He groans and soon your lips press against his as your hands caress his wide chest then lower abdomen which when you touch, Sanji leaves out a small moan and takes a strong grip on your hips.

“So sensitive today, - you whisper, planting small wet kisses on his chest. - I love it when I hear you moan like that.”

“Ah, love… - he whispers in your ear, brushing his fingers through your hair. - you’re getting me so worked up.”

Sanji kisses you deeply, holding the back of your head, slowly sliding it down on your shoulders where he runs his fingertips through your forearm before grabbing your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours. He keeps kissing you, now your back pressed against the table as Sanji hovers over you, breaking the kiss for a second just to look at you.

“Beautiful… - he says breathily before going downwards to your chest, kissing and gently biting your skin. - … so beautiful…”

His hand follows his lips. Sanji caresses each place he bites until he reaches your breasts which he grabs roughly. You let out a moan, calling his name seductively:

“Sanji… - his eyes gaze upon yours and he gives you a cheeky smile. - i…”

“You’re blushing. - he points out, rubbing your nipples with his thumbs while maintains eye contact. - Does it mean you like it this way?”

Sanji raises an eyebrow, grabbing your breasts tighter as he devours one in his mouth. The way his tongue moves around it and his lips pull it makes you go crazy. You caress the back of his head, whining about how right he was about you.

His other hand goes down your body, gently tracing your skin down to your thigh.

“If that’s what you like, - he leans in, whispering. - I’ll give it to you.”

Sanji grabs your thigh and pulls your legs up his waist. Your private parts grow even closer that even a slight movement makes both of you lose your minds. A bit of initial friction earns a groan from your boyfriend who adjust himself nicely at your entrance.

Although you can’t see, you feel his arousal growing close to your panties as he parts your legs even further.

“Fuck me, - you say under your breath, - ohh I need that so badly right now.”

Sanji listens, giving you a smug grin:

“Need what?” - he teases, putting his hand under your dress where he grabs the sides of your panties, pulling them down.

You bite your lip, covering your face with your hand as you feel your cheeks blush.

“Need… - you try to blurt out what you mean but Sanji’s gaze on you made your heart skip a beat and words stuck on the throat. - … fuck…”

You cuss out, Sanji tilting his head with a smile as he teases your entrance with his already hard length.

“You’re so frustrated, love. - he keeps teasing, seeing how needy you felt. He had a satisfying smile on him, knowing your relief would come soon. - Speak to me. Tell me what you need.”

He raises your chin, making his eyes meet yours. You gulp hard, feeling his warm hands still having a grip on your thighs while his dick is already halfway in.

“Sanji… - you keep moaning, clenching your hand to the table corner. - … I need you to… fuck me in this pretty dress you made for me.”

Your boyfriend bites his lip, now entering fully in you as he grabs your hips.

“Good girl, - he says, leaning closer to you, leaving it in before making any move. He makes sure to read your expression and act accordingly but now your face is expressing the dire need to be praised by your boyfriend so now he’s even more eager to completely be in you, completely pleasing you. - so good that you’re getting so many presents today.”

You’re so spoiled by him, in any way that you can ever think of. Even when times when the blond teases you, he does so because he knows you like it.

Now Sanji starts thrusting in you, groaning a bit as your walls adjust to his size. His hands which are on your hips travel slowly down your thighs, where he caresses them.

“You’re the greatest piece of art this studio can ever have.” - he says between heavy breaths.

The pace is slow yet so satisfying cause you feel his movements completely, deeply, with a level of intimacy only Sanji can provide. There is time for you to observe and take in all the pleasure. You always loved the way he starts, proving how romantic and gentle he is, at least at the start…

“My precious, - his breath gets heavy, - my precious love…”

As the pace increases, Sanji grabs your right leg, putting it over his shoulder. It was unexpected but the position made you gasp of how great it felt. You feel him in places you haven’t before and it’s driving you crazy.

“Ahh, love… - you scan his formed biceps and reach to hold them. - … is this right?”

You ask him as you part your legs further, moaning.

“That’s right, love. You’re doing so well.” - he moans, feeling ecstatic with every thrust which reached deeper inside you.

He kisses your inner thigh, bites it while groaning and then looks at you. His gaze is weakened by the immense pleasure, yet his eyes show pride and hunger.

“I’m …doing well aren’t I? Ahh… - you say between loud moans, - I’d do everything for you.”

Sanji pushes his head back, hands pressed agasint the table as he picks up the pace. Now you feel his hot breath agasint your neck as he keeps pushing you on the edge.

“When you say things like that to me… I lose all control.” - Sanji takes a sight grip on your neck, whilst looking deeply in your eyes, both heavily breathing.

“Lose it on me, I can take it all.”- you widen your mouth with every gasp that leaves it, whispering his name while grabbing his shoulders, pulling him closer to his embrace as you bite his skin.

“Of course you can. You’re my good girl, you’ve proven over and over how well you handle my cock. - Sanji says with a tone of voice that seems sexier than ever, especially when you glance at the expression on his face that his drunk with pleasure, eyes covered slightly by his messy hair. - And fucking you like this… goodness… I won’t ever be able to sleep again.”

You smile, pulling his face closer to yours, exchanging a long kiss, so needy and so steamy that emphasised even more the hunger you have for each other. Sanji smirks at the way you completely devour his mouth, feeling your nails digging on his skin.

“Love, please, I’m … so close…” - you manage to blurt out as your lover’s thrusts are becoming more and more powerful, much deeper and so satisfying.

“I’ll let my good girl cum all over… go for it, sweetheart.” - his reassurance and his usual word of endearment that now more than ever sounded like it truly belonged, made you reach your climax, followed immediately by his. You swore you would have came for a second time just by seeing Sanji reaching his high, his groaning and strong grip on your body, there was a sort of aggression that was attractive to you, one that comes after such a good relief.

“so good to me… you did so well.” - sanji caresses your cheek with the back of his hand and places a gentle kiss there.

“Was the dress flexible enough?” - you say lightheartedly, moving strands of hair away from his face.

“Need to go through more tests, I think…” - he smiles, pulling you up from your position and placing you in his arms.

“Thank you, Sanji, for loving me like this.” - your words vibrate on his chest as you rest your head there.

“I was made with such purpose, like this dress is made for you only.” - although your words caught him off guard, he can’t deny the happiness he felt upon hearing them.

You look up his eyes and smile, biting your lip as you drown your face in his neck.

“I love you.”

Sanji’s heart completely melts, hugging you even tighter.

“I love you too, my precious. Too much, I love you too much.”

That studio of your stylist boyfriend had yet to see wilder encounters like this one, but one thing is for certain: Sanji gives a lot, not always expecting something in return. And you? You give him what he needs the most, to be loved and cherished, you give the artist what he envisions in his head. ‘My muse’ he’d call you multiple times a day, so much that even the sketches he makes for his clothes would often be associated with your appearance, unconsciously so. Sanji praises and doesn’t expect any in return, but you’re always appreciating his hard work. It comes naturally that he wants to make you happy, for you are both two sides of the same coin, people who give so much when they’re in love.

[marvelmusing]

Just for Tonight

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x Fem!Reader

Summary: After a long day of work, you manage to convince Aleksander to put his papers aside with the promise of a bath.

Warnings [18+]: smut, cockwarming, bath tub sex, fingering, the tiniest hint of choking, a smidge of pain kink

My Masterlist

“Aleksander.”

“No.”

He hears the small huff leave your lips as you pout at him. His back is to you, but he can sense your reaction as he reads over the missive he’s been writing.

“You don’t even know what I was going to say,” you argue.

“I do. You were going to try and convince me to come to bed.”

He runs a hand over his face, momentarily accepting his own tiredness before he pushes it aside and continues writing.

“No I wasn’t.”

He hums, unconvinced by your words though the flow of his pen against paper slows as your hands trace over his shoulders, sliding down his chest.

“I was just coming to tell you that there’s a warm bath waiting for you.”

Turning his head slightly to glance at you, he raises a brow in surprise.

“A bath?”

You nod slowly with a soft hum of confirmation.

“You work too hard, Sasha.”

His lips part, ready to justify his late hours, never ending piles of papers, and journeys throughout Ravka. But you beat him to it.

“I know,” you whisper tenderly, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. “I know why, but I still hate to see you so burnt out.”

Aleksander’s heart flutters in his chest as you nuzzle your nose affectionately against his cheek before you leave a trail of kisses along his jawline. As always, he shivers under your touch, deprived of such tenderness for centuries.

“Let me take of you - just for tonight at least.”

He shouldn’t relent. There are far too many things for him to complete. Drafts to finalise. Missives to send. Orders to hand out.

To the world he is the unflappable General, the Darkling with an immense power crawling beneath his skin waiting to be unleashed. But with you he is only Aleksander. He is a man who wants to be wanted. He wants to belong.

He nods.

“Just for tonight.”

Like candle wax, he melts under the warmth of your touch and the adoration in your eyes.

With gentle coaxing, you remove the pen from his fingers, slotting it away and taking his hands in your own. Hands that have been cruel and deadly, crafted for destruction. Yet with your touch they are light, the weight of his sins removed by your tenderness.

After blowing out the candles in his study, you guide him through the bedroom you share, into the steam-filled bathroom. Aleksander hadn’t realised how cold his study had been and the sudden warmth sends a shiver over his skin.

Threading a hand through the hair at the nape of his neck, you urge him closer, burying yourself against his chest as your lips meet. The kiss is slow, one of your hands slipping under his kefta, travelling over his chest before you reach the spot where his neck and shoulder meet, squeezing the muscle there gently.

He groans as you work your fingertips against the sore muscle, easing at a tension previously unnoticed by him as he had worked.

When you break away from his lips, both of you breathless, you take the opportunity to slip his kefta from his shoulders. The heavy fabric drops quickly onto the tiled floor.

The metal clasps at the front of his tunic come undone easily enough revealing the white undershirt and dark breeches attached to his trousers. When he tugs his breeches from his shoulders, you raise a brow at him, discarding his tunic onto the floor so that you can continue to undress him yourself.

Aleksander doesn’t lift a single finger.

There’s an unusual intimacy to it, as you lift his shirt over his head, tossing it away to shift your focus onto his lower half.

The breath catches in his throat as you kneel in front of him, eyes innocently focused on unlacing his boots. Obediently, Aleksander lifts each foot once you have loosened the leather away from his ankles, sliding his boots off and tucking them neatly next to the cabinet beside you.

He watches your fingers as you slide the leather of his belt from around his waist, curling it up and placing it on the cabinet. His heart pounds heavily with want and you smile with a knowing sparkle in your eyes.

Slowly, you undo the button at the top of his trousers, sliding down the zipper before allowing the fabric to drop down, pooling at his feet. At the sight of his erection, straining against his underwear your gaze turns into something sheepish.

Flustered by the topic but still focused on his comfort, you gesture lightly towards his bulge and ask in a wavering voice,

“Do you want to-”

“Will you join me?” he asks.

At that moment, he tugs down his underwear, casting the dark fabric onto the floor with the rest of his clothes. He smirks when your eyes fix on his cock which he begins to stroke lazily, enjoying the sight of you so flustered.

This is far from the first time you’ve seen him naked, but he suspects your flushed state has something to do with the fact that he has derailed your initial plan of providing him with a relaxing evening.

“In the bath tub?” you ask quietly, an adorable frown creasing at your brows as you no doubt attempt to figure out the logistics of him taking you against the slippery sides of porcelain.

He breathes out a small laugh before he suggests in a low voice,

“I could sit you in my lap, and slide my cock inside you, while you wash my hair.”

When your eyes flutter closed momentarily, Aleksander knows he has you. The nod you give him is wide eyed which he mimics with a teasing smile before he climbs into the warm water.

He watches intently as you undress, loosening the ties of your bath robe and dropping it to the floor, revealing the silk nightdress you had worn for the evening. Aleksander regrets not paying attention to you sooner, if he had seen you wearing such a piece earlier he would have taken you to bed instantly.

His eyes darken as you push the fabric down over your hips, offering him the sight of your naked body. He beckons with two fingers and you follow his wordless order to join him.

The water sways as Aleksander adjusts your position in his lap, settling you onto his bare thigh. He knows you are aching for him just as much as he aches for you. Despite this, he wants to take his time.

His mouth explores yours leisurely, his head tilting and dipping to change the angle constantly, eager to take as much as you can give him. His hand settles over your back, palm pressed between your shoulder blades as your body is moved backwards unintentionally by the natural force of his kiss.

It’s only once you’re rocking your hips against his, desperate for more, that he shifts you in his lap, manoeuvring you with ease.

His forehead presses against yours as your legs straddle his, then he slips a hand between you both and pushes a finger inside you. He smiles when he hears you sighing in relief, prompting to add another finger.

Aleksander runs his other hand other your body, cupping your face to kiss your lips, squeezing lightly at your throat before he seizes a handful of your breasts, rolling your nipples expertly between his thumb and finger.

He watches you as a moan wracks your body at the attention given to your body accompanied by the stretch of his two fingers as he curls them perfectly, stroking that tender spot inside you that has you whimpering.

“Can you take me now, my love?” His question is gritted between his teeth, eyes lidded as he watches your back arch, willing more of him inside your tight heat.

If you told him no, he would continue to stretch you open, making you come undone over his fingers with a thumb on your clit. Instead, you nod.

“Please Sasha, I need you now.”

Aleksander knows it will be a stretch for you, to take him in this position with such little preparation, but he trusts you to know what you want. In all honesty, he’s glad you don’t want to wait any longer. He needs you too.

He withdraws his fingers and soon he’s nudging the head of his cock against your entrance. Both of you are loud, moaning and grasping tightly onto one another as you sink down onto his cock.

“There we go,” he sighs once he’s finally buried deep inside you.

He knows you’ve lost all brain capacity in this moment, as you mouth over his shoulder, pressing kisses along the line of his throat mindlessly, suckling on his earlobe and prompting a groan from him.

His fingers curl around the back of your neck, urging you backwards to look at his face. He smiles with a wicked twist curling at the edge of his lips and half lidded eyes as he admires the sight of you impaled on his cock, skin flushed and damp.

The warm water and feeling of your cunt clinging to his aching cock removes all the tension in Aleksander’s body. The exhaustion that had been weighing down his mind has dissolved like the smelling salts you had mixed into the bath water.

He breathes out a sigh, his eyes fluttering closed as he tilts his head back, resting it against the edge of the bath with a content hum.

Aleksander feels you press your cheek against his chest, your lashes brushing delicately over his skin. He keeps one arm wrapped around your middle, fingers skimming over your bare shoulder as he lies his other arm on the edge of the bath tub.

When you lift your head up, finger tracing circles over his chest, Aleksander presses a kiss to your temple and reaches for the soap.

Simultaneously, you clean one another, smoothing soap suds over skin and scooping up handfuls of scented water to clear away the bubbles. The two of you trade kisses whenever you can.

Aleksander chuckles every time he shifts his hips, relishing in the little gasps that leave your lips when his cock nudges a different place inside you.

He enjoys every second of you washing his hair. Every firm press of your palm, lathering the shampoo into his wet hair, and light scrape of your nails against his scalp has him leaning further into you.

When he tilts his head back, for you to rinse the suds from his locks, a shudder runs through him at the feeling of your lips against the hollow of his exposed throat.

Holding tightly onto your hips, he grinds your body downwards, making you tremble.

“Sasha,” you whine, trying to maintain your focus on the task at hand. “Please, I’m nearly finished.”

“Then don’t tease, my love.”

At the sight of your nod, he loosens his hold, keeping his hands settled at your waist, occasionally smoothing over the sides of your body as you wash the rest of the bubbles from his hair.

As you run your hand through his hair one last time, to ensure no soap lingers there, you begin to circle your hips, moaning softly at sensation of the head of his hardened cock nudging against your soft walls.

You moan his name, settling your hand at the nape of his neck and squeezing in encouragement for him to rock into you. His hands tighten once again, bouncing you over his cock, increasing the pace as you gasp loudly.

His pelvis grinds against yours, the swollen bud of your clit catching against his skin as he tilts your hips downwards. As you arch your back, he thrusts up into you, water swaying frantically around you both.

Aleksander increases his pace, fuelled not only by his own desperate need to climax but also maddeningly eager to hear you fall apart. He watches as you writhe, clinging to him, nails biting into his flesh, begging him not to stop.

You’ve reduced him to nothing but groans and harsh breaths against your neck as he leaves marks over your dewy skin. He licks over your throat, feeling the motion of the small sob there before it escapes from your lips.

If he could speak he would tell you how divine you are, what a perfect lover you are, how much he adores you, and worships the very ground you walk over.

Instead he manages to murmur a rather wrecked sounding,

“I love you.”

That’s all it takes for you to succumb to your pleasure. Those three words set a fire in your chest that rushes down to your cunt, flushing over your skin and you whimper pitifully as you’re overcome by the sensation of him filling you so completely.

Aleksander groans through gritted teeth, hissing at the rapid clench of your cunt, drawing him deeper inside you. Despite the sensitivity, you grip onto his hips, ensuring that he continues to thrust inside you.

Part of him thinks he should stop, he doesn’t want to hurt you, and he can see the way your face scrunches together with pleasure pain. Then you’re begging for him to spill inside you, to fill you up with his spend.

Aleksander can never deny you anything.

His climax prickles at the edge of his senses, just out of reach. Digging your nails into the space next to his hip bones causes Aleksander’s thrusts to become desperate little jerks. The sound of your pleas whispered against his ear as you lie over his chest sends him straight to his peak.

As he spills inside you, he feels your teeth scrape over his shoulder which only adds to his pleasure. His heart beats wildly, bliss warming his body as his thoughts melt away. The only thing he is conscious of is the smooth porcelain against his back and the warmth of your body slumped over his.

Slowly, he comes back to himself. He feels your own heart hammering against his chest and he manages to gain the strength to lifts his hand, running it down the length of your spine.

Still slightly breathless, he cups the back of your head, guiding you backwards so that he can see you, assessing for any damage he may have inadvertently caused. He doesn’t find any.

All he sees is your bright eyes and kiss swollen lips as you smile and say,

“I love you too, Aleksander.”

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marvelmusing Tag List: @dreamlandcreations @blanchedelioncourt @idaofinfinity @slytherheign @ellooo0ooo @vixenofcourse @dumb-fawkin-bitch @jane-arthur @ilikefictionmen @budugu @watersquirtpewpewboomm @mysweetlittledesire

Aleksander M Tag List: @nyctophiliiiiaaa @jazmin2211 @wooya1224

BB Characters Tag List: @rachlovesactors @noortsshift @aikeia @weallhaveadestiny @two-unbeatable-beaters

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[sunkissed-zegras]

🧊 with estapa plz!!

NOOOOO MARK ANGST 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

you tried so hard, so desperately hard to give him everything he had ever wanted. you poured your heart and soul into the relationship, striving to meet his every need and desire. day by day, you tried to become the girl he had always wanted, molding yourself into what you thought would make him happy.

despite your best efforts, it seemed that no matter how hard you tried, you could never quite meet his expectations. the constant feeling of inadequacy gnawed at you, leaving you wondering if you'd ever be enough for him.

mark's words hung heavy in the air, like a storm cloud threatening to unleash hurt emotions. the combination of anxiety and hurt hurled up inside you, threatening to consume you whole. each sentence felt like a sharp blade, cutting through your heart and twisting it, leaving a big wound. the nausea of anxiety churned in your stomach, and you felt as though you might physically become ill from the weight of his words.

you could only grasp a few fragments of what he had said, not even processing more than the few words he had began with, "i think we should break up."

"y/n?"

you were suddenly brought back this moment, snapped away from your emotions as you nodded in response, not trusting your voice to speak as you held in every emotion you were feeling.

"i just think... it's better this way," mark continued, his voice tinged with sadness.

you swallowed hard, your voice trembling. "better how?"

he looked at you, and for a moment, the mask of indifference slipped, revealing the quiet turmoil beneath his facade. "for both of us. we're holding each other back, with my hockey career and your school. it's just time we moved on with our lives."

what he meant by everything he just said was, he didn't want you to hold him back; he didn't want you to be in his future. his short words felt like a dagger to your heart, and you fought to hold back tears. "but i love you," you whispered, your voice barely audible.

mark's gaze faltered, and you saw a glimmer of the pain you felt reflected back in those eyes you love─no, loved. "i know," he replied quietly, his gaze soften at your words. "but sometimes love just isn't enough."

he doesn't say anything for a moment, just takes a swig from his bottle. finally, he speaks, "it's not about you not being enough."

your eyebrows furled in confusion as you glance at him, waiting for an explanation.

he sighs, looking a little frustrated. "we want different things, you know? different futures, different paths."

your heart sinks as you grasp his meaning, "so, you're saying i'm in the way of what you want?"

mark winces as he sighs, "no, it's not like that, but-"

"but what, mark?" you push, anger and hurt taking over your emotions.

he finally looks at you, his eyes full of regret, "but, i can't keep dragging you along a road you don't want to travel. you deserve to find your own path, too. when i get drafted, we can't... we won't be able to stay together through the distance."

the finality in his tone hung heavy in the air, and you knew that this was the end, even though your heart ached at the thought. even if you gave him everything and it wasn't enough.

MY 100 FOLLOWER CELLY!

[heyiwrotesomethings]

Set Your Heart Ablaze

Mitsuri Kanroji x She/Her Reader

A/N: This draft is from February of 2022 so it’s over a year old. I wasn’t happy with it at all at the time, but I decided to look over it again recently and tweaked some things and it wasn’t as bad as I thought at the time. I think the moral of this is to step away from your writing for awhile if you think it’s not coming out the way that you want and revisit it with fresh eyes. Whenever that may be. Thanks for reading and I hope you like it! Word Count: 7,334

(Y/n) ran through the forest, tears streaming down her face and her blade drawn. She roared, screaming at the pink haired demon as he ran away from the sunrise.

“Coward!”

(Y/n) could hear Tanjirou’s cries from the forest’s entrance as the demon flung the boy’s sword into the bushes and continued to leap away. The anguish in (Y/n)’s heart had her seeing red as she unleashed technique after technique at the demon, trying to close the ever-growing gap. Her lungs burned and her broken ribs stabbed into her like shattered glass, yet she continued her pursuit.

“Face me, you monster! It is plenty dark enough for you under these dense trees! Fucking fight me!” (Y/n) raged.

Akaza clicked his tongue, not even sparring the girl a glance as he rocketed off. Maybe he would have liked to see if the Flame Hashira’s Tsuguko was worthy of the position, but he had no desire to kill any women and today was no different.

“Damn you!” (Y/n) tried to boost her speed, but with all the injuries she had sustained that night, something in her leg popped and she tumbled head over heels into the ground. Determined, she got back to her feet as soon as she could and scanned the trees.

“No!” (Y/n) screamed. The demon was gone. She punched the nearest tree until her knuckles bled. “Damn you! Damn you! Damn you…” (Y/n) slid back to the ground as sobs wracked through her body.

She had failed.

Her Master was dying and she had let his killer escape. What an utterly useless Tsuguko! She didn’t deserve the title. All that training and she couldn’t even scratch that demon! Disgraceful!

(Y/n) didn’t allow herself to sit there for long. She didn’t deserve it, but she needed to see her Master and apologize for being so weak. She needed to tell him she was going to work harder! She would avenge him one day even if it killed her.

(Y/n) grit her teeth and ran out of the forest, avoiding the sorrowful eyes of the other slayers as she moved to be near her Master.

“(Y/n), there you are.” Kyoujirou’s eyes softened with a slightly glazed over look, “come, sit.”

“I— I’m sorry Master, he got away.” (Y/n) hiccuped, collapsing hard on her knees, she bowed as low to the ground as she could, gravel imbedding itself into her forehead with how hard she pressed. “I failed you, but I swear I’ll kill him if it’s the last thing I do!” (Y/n)’s breathing hitched when a gentle weight appeared on her shoulder.

“Hold your head up high, (Y/n).” Kyoujirou commanded, though his voice had lost its normally booming quality, the underlying power somehow remained. (Y/n) sat up and did as her Master commanded, though tears still flowed unbidden from her eyes.

“Look at how far you’ve come already and with still so much room to grow. My only regret as your teacher is that I won’t be there to help you refine those skills. Which is why there is something I want you to do for me.”

“Anything, Master! You need only say it!” (Y/n) exclaimed.

“Continue your Tsuguko training under the Love Hashira, Kanroji Mitsuri. You may have heard she used to be my student before climbing the ranks herself. She can teach you all that I couldn’t.”

“I… I’ll ask her. I promise, I’ll work hard! I won’t let you down!” (Y/n) didn’t want to burden another Hashira after failing one so fatally, but this was Rengoku’s last mission for her and she would carry it out for him.

Rengoku chuckled weakly, a warm smile upon his face. These young slayers were sure to go far. They did extraordinary work last night, fighting with all the fire and might they possessed to their very bones. His bleary eyes seemed to be drawn to something over (Y/n)’s shoulder, his smile grew and with one last peaceful exhale, he was gone.

***

(Y/n) put it off for as long as she could, but now that Shinobu had given her a clean bill of health, she could hide no more. Now there she stood in front of the Love Hashira’s home.

With her lips pursed tightly and a light coating of sweat dewing her face and hands, she finally forced herself to knock upon the door. The thudding of her fist against the wood sped her heart with each hit. Every part of her body was screaming at her to turn tail and run before she could be seen, but with her Master’s final wishes for her in mind, she stood rigidly in place.

Her panic was steadily growing inside of her as the sound of footsteps could be heard approaching from inside. She quickly dried her hands on her pants and though she knew someone was coming to open the door, she still jumped when it slid open and bowed with such force she almost bent completely in half.

“G-good morning!” She fumbled over her words, voice pitching as if it hadn’t expected to be called upon. “I’m here to speak with Kanroji Mitsuri-sama of important matters! Is she perhaps available today?”

(Y/n) dared not look up. She could feel how her face burned and felt the tell tale signs of those annoying tears of embarrassment and nervousness picking at her eyes. When whoever answered the door turned to guide her or send her away, then she would have an opening to sneak a sleeve over her eyes, but not a moment before.

“Ah, yes, I’m available right now. You can come in.”

(Y/n) blinked, her eyes traveled to the stocking feet standing in the doorway. Unbidden, her gaze moved slowly upward until concerned pastel green eyes connected with hers.

Then she snapped.

“Apologies, Kanroji-sama!” (Y/n) threw herself completely against the ground, the sound of her forehead hitting the gravel drowning out the surprised squeak that left Mitsuri’s lips.

“I did not realize—! Please forgive my rudeness!”

“I really don’t think you were being rude at all?” Mitsuri tilted her head to the left thoughtfully. “You didn’t hurt yourself, did you?”

“Not at all! But if you think it would be a fitting punishment—“

“No!” Mitsuri frantically waved her hands down at the still face planted slayer, “No! That’s really not necessary! Please, raise your head and come inside!”

“Thank you, Kanroji-sama. You are far kinder than I deserve.” (Y/n) rose to her feet, a bit clumsily, and rubbed her eyes as if she had gotten dirt in them before finally meeting Mitsuri’s eye again.

“I, I don’t know about that, but let’s get you inside and have a nice cup of tea. You seem stressed.”

Oh, she didn’t even know the half of it.

(Y/n) thanked her profusely and followed her inside.

Immediately, an array of pleasant aromas met her nose when she took off her footwear and entered the Love Hashira’s home. For such a large building, it somehow still felt cozy.

Mitsuri led her to a room with an open door leading out to an orchard. In the middle of the room there was a large, low laying table piled with snacks and a cute tea pot.

“Here, take a seat and I’ll be right back with a cup for you.”

Before (Y/n) could dissuade her, Mitsuri jogged out of the room and returned a short time later with another cup and dish in hand. She set the items in front of where (Y/n) knelt and poured her a cup of tea before kneeling opposite of her across the table. She poured a cup for herself, took a sip, and hummed happily.

“Help yourself. We can talk after you calm down a bit, okay?”

(Y/n) opened her mouth to disagree, but shut it quickly when Mitsuri titled her head and gestured to the food. She ducked her head down and sipped her tea, mulling over the best way to tell the Love Hashira her intentions for the hundredth time that day.

The meal wasn’t completely silent. Mitsuri asked (Y/n) where she grew up, what food she liked best, light questions that were easily answered and slowly but surely put (Y/n) at ease when Mitsuri would share her own answers in turn.

(Y/n) helped Mitsuri clean up and they returned to the room together. Mitsuri took her seat across from (Y/n) and gave her a small smile.

“Feeling a little better?”

(Y/n) nodded, shyly looking down at her lap.

“I’m glad. Now, what did you want to talk about?”

(Y/n) took a deep breath, “My name is (L/n) (Y/n), I was the late Flame Hashira’s Tsuguko.”

“I know.”

(Y/n) looked up from her lap to see the sad smile and watery shine in Mitsuri’s eyes.

“Rengoku-san, talked about your progress with me on occasion.” She explained. “He really enjoyed working with you.”

Oh gods, keep it together (Y/n). No more crying, we promised we were done crying!

“I’m honored. He was, I really, really liked training under him.” She swallowed thickly.

“He was a very good teacher, wasn’t he?” Mitsuri noticed how (Y/n) shook like a cold kitten in the rain and scooted around the table to offer some comfort, pulling (Y/n)’s head into her shoulder.

“Uh huh,” (Y/n)’s throat felt so tight it held a deep burn, like there was a hot, heavy ball tangled in her vocal chords. The way Mitsuri held her and talked to her about the fallen Flame Hashira, she could tell she was hurting just as much. Two students grieving over the loss of their beloved teacher, friend, and older brother figure.

They took a few minutes to collect themselves and (Y/n) forced herself to back out of Mitsuri’s embrace to put some space between them and face her fully.

“Rengoku-sama’s last order for me was to ask you to train me in his stead.” She bowed on her forearms and knees once more, continuing on before Mitsuri could fully process the weight of her words.

“I know that I am the last person that anyone would want after I failed to protect him. I only ask because it was my Master’s last wish of me. I do not expect you to accept so please don’t feel obligated in any way, Kanroji-sama.”

A hand came to rest on (Y/n)’s back that exuded a warmth so radiant that she couldn’t help but compare it to the heavy warmth of her Master’s hand when he used to praise her for a job well done. Tentatively, she rose her head to meet Mitsuri’s eye, finding fresh tears had sprung from the Love Hashira’s eyes.

Mitsuri rubbed (Y/n)’s back, urging her to sit up so she could take both of her battle-worn hands into her own and gave her a watery smile.

“(L/n)-san, I will take you on as my Tsuguko on one condition.”

“Yes?” She prompted timidly.

“You mustn’t keep blaming yourself for Rengoku-san’s death. It hurts my heart to hear you talk down on yourself for something that was not your fault.”

“But I—“

“Not. Your. Fault.” Mitsuri spoke with great sincerity, hitting her thighs with their connected hands to emphasize each word. “Rengoku-san would be very sad to know you feel this way. Do not make him have to worry about you in the afterlife.”

(Y/n) bowed her head. Mitsuri squeezed her hands.

“You say it now, it wasn’t my fault.”

“It wasn’t… my fault.”

“Again. Try to sound like you believe it because you should.”

“It wasn’t my fault.”

“The fault lies with the demon who took his life, not me. Say it.”

“The fault lies with the demon who took his life, not me.” (Y/n) finished shakily.

Mitsuri pulled her back into her arms and rocked her side to side.

“That’s a good start. Rengoku-san chose to entrust you to me. So I will do my best to teach you everything I know in his stead. We will both work hard and make him proud, won’t we?”

“Yes!” (Y/n) sobbed into Mitsuri’s shoulder, clinging tighter.

***

(Y/n) awoke at the crack of dawn in the guest room Mitsuri had so kindly provided her with and went out the stretch and go through her morning training regimen before Mitsuri would make her appearance. She felt the need to prove herself to her Master’s old pupil so she needed to be on the top of her game to impress. She began pushing herself harder. Though she had been healed, the Insect Hashira would surely discourage going so hard so soon after being discharged.

“I’m going to get stronger, Master. I will kill that demon!”

Meanwhile, Mitsuri hadn’t slept at all. She had been working frantically all night wracking her brain for a lesson plan. She was hardly a teacher unless her western cooking lessons with Shinobu counted, but even then Shinobu had a hard time understanding her sometimes. It was so embarrassing! Worst yet, though her Love Breathing had been created through what she learned from Flame Breathing, she didn’t quite remember the techniques without the twists she gave them.

“I’m so sorry, Rengoku-san!” Mitsuri wiped the sweat from her forehead as she scribbled out another idea. “I don’t think I know how to teach her at all!”

Regardless, she had to get out there sooner or later. (Y/n) was waiting for her. She wouldn’t make a good impression if she was late. What if (Y/n) changed her mind and didn’t want Mitsuri to teach her? Mitsuri couldn’t think of a more devastating blow to her confidence as a Hashira.

She sucked it up and headed outside. She would just have to be candid with (Y/n) about her inexperience with teaching and her foggy memory. Surely (Y/n)’s training was fresh in her mind. Perhaps if they discussed it, it would jog her memory.

Mitsuri exited her home and froze mid step when she found (Y/n) laying face down in the grass.

“(L/n)-san?!” She quickly regained use of her legs and hopped off of the engawa to kneel at her side and pull (Y/n) to lay on her back. “What happened? You shouldn’t push yourself so hard! Shinobu-chan only discharged you a day ago. Did you hurt yourself?” She fretted.

“I’m okay. I guess my ankle still isn’t agreeing with me.” (Y/n) made a pained grunt when Mitsuri gently squeezed her injured ankle.

“That doesn’t feel right. Urara!” She called out to the sky.

Moments later a Kasugai crow with a little clover crown made an uneasy descent, waiting for Mitsuri’s order.

“Could you ask Shinobu-chan to have someone come over to check (L/n)-san’s ankle? Thank you!”

The bird flew off in a flurry of feathers and Mitsuri positioned her arms beneath (Y/n)’s back and knees, giggling at the surprised face (Y/n) made when she was suddenly hoisted off of the ground.

“Let’s get that foot elevated for the time being.”

“What about training?” (Y/n) didn’t want to be down and out already. She hadn’t even technically started yet and Mitsuri was carrying her inside. How humiliating!

Mitsuri set her down in the training room she had initially exited from and propped up (Y/n)’s ankle with a rolled up towel.

Within the hour Shinobu herself came to personally scold (Y/n) for her recklessness in the sweetest voice possible and then turned her attention to Mitsuri to dig into her a bit.

“She’s your Tsuguko now, Kanroji-san, don’t let her act so foolishly in the future.” She teased, though her eyes held a seriousness that Mitsuri did not miss.

“Sorry, Shinobu-chan.”

Shinobu fixed (Y/n) up, ordered her a week of non strenuous training and took her leave.

“I’m sorry, Master. I’ve burdened you.” (Y/n) frowned.

“No!” Mitsuri squeaked and waved her hands erratically. Her skin flushed bright pink. To be called someone’s master made it too real! “No, no, you haven’t burdened me at all! In fact, this is kind of a good thing!”

“It is?” (Y/n) cocked her head to the side inquisitively.

“Yeah! Not that you hurt yourself of course, but this will give us some time to talk and figure out where you are in the training. I have to admit, I’m out of practice with the discipline and finer details of Flame Breathing, but maybe you could help remind me?”

“Of course, Master!” (Y/n) nodded, flames blazing in her eyes.

“A-and another thing!” Mitsuri’s blush bloomed a darker shade of red, “Please just call me Kanroji! Master feels too heavy!”

“As you wish, Kanroji-sama!”

Mitsuri laughed at (Y/n)’s eagerness and volume. It reminded her so much of Kyoujirou. He seemed to have an affect on his disciples where his own excitement and booming voice would be mirrored back at him with vigor. Mitsuri only hoped she could be such an impactful teacher.

***

They spent that first week while (Y/n) was laid up going over the training she had endured under Kyoujirou’s guidance. Sometimes, that would prompt an old memory of Mitsuri’s and she would share her own experiences.

Sometimes they would laugh, sometimes they would cry, but their talks always left a sense of comfort and understanding. They had both known Kyoujirou well and being able to share those stories when they were missing the man brought them closer together.

When (Y/n) had re-healed after her tumble, they began increasing the effort on her training. It wasn’t always smooth sailing, but they would eventually work it out together.

“You have to, you know, when you feel a stretch just before it pops you go bwoosh! You know?”

“Um, could you try showing me that, Kanroji-sama?”

“Sure!”

In Mitsuri’s defense, Kyoujirou was also guilty of explaining things poorly from time to time. He often used to tell (Y/n) to just feel it, whatever it was. (Y/n) learned to be a bit of a visual learner if she hadn’t been one already, she had grown more conscious of it over time.

Mitsuri also added her own touches to the regimen, showing (Y/n) the importance of flexibility in combination with one’s strength and internal rhythm. She was almost appalled by (Y/n)’s lack of flexibility, though she would certainly never tell her that. She did however make sure to add flexibility to the daily training regimen that made the usual stretches feel like nothing in comparison to the deep stretches she put (Y/n) through.

She also added dance lessons into their routine to wind down at the end of hard days. It was fun to teach (Y/n) different step combinations and have her cling to her as she tried to keep up with her ever changing footing. She never seemed to quite get the timing right, but Mitsuri found that adorable.

Of course they couldn’t stay home to train all of the time. At the start of their third week together, Mitsuri received a mission to the south and it would be her first time being accompanied by a pupil. Granted, (Y/n) was nearly the same age as her and had been on several missions already, but Mitsuri couldn’t help but worry for her safety.

“Stay close, alright?” She had made (Y/n) promise several times along the way.

Other slayers might have been offended or even angry at such a babying display, but (Y/n)’s heart fluttered in her chest knowing that Mitsuri cared so much about her wellbeing.

Fortunately, there was no need to worry. They killed the troubling demons that had causing the disturbances without a hitch.

“Did you see that, Kanroji-sama?” (Y/n) asked, eyes alight with an excitement that made Mitsuri’s heart race, “I used that step just like you showed me! The stretch wasn’t even that bad!”

“I saw! You did so well! Let’s go to this twenty-four hour noodle shop I know to celebrate, okay?”

“Okay!”

They cleaned out that udon stand in record time.

***

Weeks became months and soon half of a year had passed them by.

Presently, they were laying out under the shade of a tree after collecting honey all day. Mitsuri watched as (Y/n) continuously flexed her fist, watching her rank bubble up and fade several times. Kinoe.

As of last night, (Y/n) had slayed her forty-ninth demon. One more, and she would be considered for a position as a Hashira.

Mitsuri tapped on (Y/n)’s hand, startling her, “What are you thinking about?”

“I guess I’m just thinking about how close I am to being considered for a Hashira position. It’s kind of overwhelming.”

“It is kind of scary at first. I actually got lost on my first day,” Mitsuri smiled and squeezed (Y/n)’s hand, “I’ll help you get around though, so don’t worry!”

“Thank you, Kanroji-sama.” (Y/n) gave a small smile of her own, “I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”

“Hm? Without me?” Mitsuri blinked, then realization dawned on her.

When (Y/n) would become a Hashira, she would no longer be Mitsuri’s student. That would cut down the time they spent together drastically! She would live somewhere else in charge of a different sector. No more training together, missions, meals, sleeping a bedroom away, tending to the bees together, dancing together… Mitsuri’s heart hurt.

What was she supposed to do without (Y/n)?

“W-well, it’s not like we won’t see each other again! We can keep in touch and do things together in our free time!” Mitsuri felt anxious. She knew the day would eventually come, but it had snuck up on her somehow. (Y/n) was a superb slayer, it really shouldn’t have surprised her that she was nearly ready for the next rung in the ladder.

“Really?” (Y/n) felt relieved by Mitsuri’s suggestion. She didn’t want to be separated from her any more than Mitsuri did.

“Of course!” Mitsuri nodded vigorously. “We are friends after all.”

“Kanroji-sama!” (Y/n) sniffled and threw her arms around Mitsuri, loathe to let go lest the Hashira see the tears that slid down her cheeks. They were mostly happy tears, but that hardly mattered to (Y/n). Any time her eyes would water without her permission felt a little embarrassing.

Mitsuri wrapped her arms behind (Y/n)’s back in return, holding on a bit tighter than usual knowing that her constant companion over the past six months would be off on her own before long. They both would be.

***

The day was finally upon them and neither Mitsuri nor (Y/n) was nearly as excited as one would expect. They tried to have a normal morning together, the last they would have under the same roof. Despite the enormity of the event happening that day, neither broached the subject. Both preferring to talk about literally anything else. Though they both definitely knew what was on the agenda that afternoon and it was visible in their actions.

(Y/n) had carved Mitsuri a bunch of little wooden statues over their months together and presented them to her in a neatly packed box. Each representing a little memory. Mitsuri went all out on breakfast, a conglomeration of all of (Y/n)’s favorite foods. Instead of sitting across from each other they sat as if joined by the hip. It was when an unexpected guest came by that the girls were forced to face the reality of the day at hand.

“Senjuro-kun? Hello, hello! What brings you by today?” Mitsuri asked, ushering the young boy inside.

“Hello, Senjuro-kun!” (Y/n) greeted from the kitchen doorway while she finished drying the last dish.

“Hello,” Senjuro smiled shyly, adjusting the bundle in his arms. “I’m here to give (Y/n)-san something, actually.”

“Oh, for me?” (Y/n) blinked. She put away the last dish and came out into the hall.

“I think it will be best if we all sit down for this.” Senjuro suggested and Mitsuri lead the way to a private room for whatever transaction was about to occur.

“What is it, Senjuro-kun?” (Y/n) asked once they were all situated.

“I heard you were becoming a Hashira today. Congratulations, (Y/n)-san.”

“Thank you. I will do all I can to live up to the title. I promise.” (Y/n) still felt inadequate for the title of Flame Hashira and she felt that the title would never truly belong to her, but she was determined to honor her late Master’s position.

“I know you will, Aniki always thought you had lots of potential.” Senjuro held the bundle closer to his chest. “That is why, I believe this belongs to you now.”

As soon as he held the white fabric out to (Y/n), the girls gasped softly as the red and orange tatters previously pressed into Senjuro’s chest came into view.

“Senjuro-kun,”

“I know,” he interrupted, “but he would want you to have it. I do to. You are keeping the Flame Hashira line afloat, so you need the cloak to match.”

(Y/n) swallowed thickly. She would not deny the boy again. If he wanted her to adorn the near sacred garment in his brother’s stead, then she would do it. Just a little more weight to carry. She would bear it.

She took the cloak gently from Senjuro’s arms and bowed her head.

“Thank you, I will do everything I can to be worthy of this.”

Senjuro nodded, trying to keep it together, but when (Y/n) and Mitsuri descended upon him with hugs and understanding tears in their own eyes, he let his own fall.

***

“Stay close, I’ll make sure you don’t get lost.” Mitsuri assured as they walked through the lengthy estate of the Master, out to the garden many Hashira meetings took place in when the weather was fair.

“Thank you, Kanroji-sama. I’m so nervous.” (Y/n) managed a half smile. The weight and scent of the cloak draping her shoulders was near anxiety inducing, not comforting in the least, but with Mitsuri by her side, she felt a tiny bit at ease.

“You’ll be just fine, I promise.” Mitsuri threaded her arm through (Y/n)’s and rubbed her bicep comfortingly.

Even when they came upon the passage that would lead them out into the garden, they did not part and entered together to find a majority of the Hashira already present.

“Kanroji-san, (L/n)-san, good to see you.” Shinobu smiled.

“Good to see you too, Kochou-sama.” (Y/n) greeted with a bow.

“Kochou-san will be fine please. You are joining our rank after all. Congratulations, by the way.”

“Ah, right, thank you, Kochou-san.”

“Me too!” Mitsuri jumped in, sweating slightly. She should have been the first to tell (Y/n) that, but she hadn’t even thought of it! She had to one-up Shinobu somehow. “Just call me Mitsuri!”

(Y/n)’s face exploded with warmth. To refer to Mitsuri so casually… she would surely combust!

“If that’s, are you sure, uh, Mmitsu, um, maybe, Kanroji…san?”

Shinobu giggled behind one hand, the other reached out to give Mitsuri a handkerchief, the poor girl was blushing bright red and noticeably sweating. (Y/n) was hardly fairing any better.

“You may still refer to me as Uzui-sama, new blood!” Tengen grinned, bringing attention to the fact that they certainly weren’t the only people there.

“Don’t refer to me ever.” Obanai said snippily under his breath, earning an amused scoff from Sanemi. Neither believed the woman would be able to fill the shoes, or the cloak rather, that had been left behind for her. Of course one of them was more upset about how the new Flame Hashira was still joined to the Love Hashira’s hip.

“I’m glad to see another Hashira be born from the ashes in these dire times. I wish you luck in battle, Flame Hashira. I trust you will go far.” Gyomei spoke with great conviction, tears rolling down his chiseled cheeks.

(Y/n) bowed to the man, thanking him with strong gratitude audible in her tone.

If Muichiro had anything to say, he kept it to himself and Giyuu slid in through the back of the garden and stayed in his designated corner barely sparring (Y/n) a glance.

All fell to a knee when the Master was set to appear and the deeply treasured man walked out to greet his children and formerly bestow (Y/n) with her title and assignment area.

This was when Mitsuri felt the most nervous. Kyoujirou’s general assignment area had been in then heart of Tokyo, but that didn’t necessarily mean (Y/n) would get the same. Tokyo would be so nice though. Lots of roads and trains led to Tokyo. They could easily visit from time to time. Please be Tokyo, please be Tokyo!

“Your assignment shall be in Hokkaido. Guard it well, Flame Hashira.” The Master smiled warmly.

“As you wish, Master. I will give my all.” (Y/n) bowed resolutely.

Meanwhile, Mitsuri, who had been leaning so far forward to hear, suddenly fell into the pebbles, earning her a handful of inquisitive stares.

Hokkaido prefecture?! That couldn’t be further away! She’d need several train lines and a boat to get there!

“I’ve heard troubling things about demons trying to traverse the bottom of the ocean to other countries. It may not be as glamorous or densely populated as Tokyo, but it is an important job none the less.”

“Of course, Master. I won’t let you down.”

“You will do great things, (Y/n). Kyoujirou would be proud to see you now. Mitsuri is as well I’m sure.”

“Yes,” Mitsuri sniffled, “so proud.” and heartachingly disappointed.

“Let’s move on to the next agenda then, my children.”

***

“Kanroji-san? Are you waiting for (L/n)-san?” Shinobu asked when she found Mitsuri waiting outside of the garden after dropping of the Master’s medicine with Amane.

“Yeah…” Mitsuri toed her shoe in the dirt. “I was hoping to see her off. I know it’ll take a little time to get details from the Master, but I don’t mind waiting a bit.”

“Hmm, didn’t you take any time to say your goodbyes this morning?”

Mitsuri looked down and worried the sleeve of her haori between her fingers.

“Ahh, I was afraid something like this would happen.” Shinobu tisked wisely.

“What?” Mitsuri’s brow furrowed.

“You grew too attached.” Shinobu replied, a teasing grin growing across her face. “In fact, I dare say you are smitten! And with a student no less, how scandalous, Kanroji-san.”

“We’re only a year or two apart!” Mitsuri blushed and flapped her arms around, “And she isn’t my student anymore so it’s not weird! Is it?!”

“I’m not judging you, but I am worried about you. Hokkaido is rather far away.”

“I know… I don’t know what to do.” Mitsuri sighed sullenly.

“I think you should tell her how you feel. Don’t live with any regrets. That is my advice to you.”

“Thanks Shinobu-chan. I will think about it.”

“See to it that you do. I better get home, good luck.”

Mitsuri wrapped Shinobu in a tight hug and then the Insect Hashira went on her way, leaving Mitsuri feeling more confident about what she had to do.

When (Y/n) emerged from the Master’s estate, her face lit up when she saw Mitsuri waiting for her and she moved quickly to stand beside her.

“Kanroji-sama! Er, Mitsu… erm— Kanroji-san! You waited for me!”

“I wanted to see you off personally. Also… there was something I wanted to tell you.”

“Of course, you can tell me anything.”

The kind expression on (Y/n)’s face made Mitsuri’s heart flutter. She took (Y/n) by the hand and eagerly pulled her along. The Master’s estate was full of natural beauty, a perfect place for a heartfelt confession. She led the newly appointed Flame Hashira into the wisteria blooms that surrounded the property. Silently she thanked the moon and stars for illuminating the petals in a soft glow and the warm contrast of the fireflies navigating between the trees.

“It’s beautiful here.” (Y/n) commented. “It suits you.”

“Really?” Mitsuri squeaked.

Though she was embarrassed, (Y/n) did not attempt to explain away her words. She really did think Mitsuri looked especially beautiful in this scenery and she was of the opinion that no one told Mitsuri that she was beautiful nearly enough so she stood firm.

“Definitely!” She yelled a little too loud, looking up at the sky to avoid meeting Mitsuri’s gaze directly. She stiffened when Mitsuri’s hand curled around her bicep near her elbow.

“Thank you. It suits you too.” Mitsuri bit her lip, “That’s why I wanted to tell you here.”

Mitsuri’s hand slid down to (Y/n)’s own, her other hand moved to clasp (Y/n)’s between hers. She took a couple deep breaths, feeling dizzy from the warmth in her cheeks and chest, then she… didn’t tell her.

She couldn’t tell her. For whatever reason, the words would not come out.

“Yes? What is it, Kanroji-san?” The innocent, patient look (Y/n) wore proved too much for Mitsuri to handle somehow and the poor girl lost her nerve completely.

“I’ll miss having you around, good luck out there.” She looked away, missing the disappointed look that flashed over (Y/n)’s face.

“I’ll miss you too. A lot.” (Y/n) forced a chuckle. “Um, listen, is it alright to write to you from time to time?”

“Yes, that would make me very happy.” Mitsuri’s voice held all of the scenerity of the feelings she had truly wanted to convey. “I’ll write you too, of course. You can tell me all about Hokkaido and all your adventures.”

“I will.”

There was a pregnant pause before a stifled sob escaped (Y/n)’s lips. She cut it off abruptly with her free hand.

“Sorry! I told myself I wouldn’t cry. I’m a Hashira now, damn it.”

“It’s okay to cry, everybody has to some times.” Mitsuri was also failing to fight back tears of her own, her heart was screaming at her to speak her mind, but her tongue felt like lead.

(Y/n) face planted forcefully into Mitsuri’s neck and Mitsuri swiftly wrapped her up in her arms. Their tears soaked each other’s clothes while the words they truly wished to share went unspoken.

***

Mitsuri pushed the latest letter from (Y/n) into her face. Maybe it was silly, but she thought she could smell (Y/n)’s scent lingering upon the parchment. So she always smelled the letter first before reading.

At this point they hadn’t seen each other in fourteen months but they made sure to write each other every other week. Their crows were surely annoyed by the long trips, but being the people pleasers that they were, they hardly complained. Especially when the birds had always enjoyed each other’s company as well.

She wanted to take her time reading, pouring over every word. She pressed the paper to her lips before holding it to her chest.

Things had been going well in Hokkaido as previous letters would suggest. The Master’s worries about demons crossing the sea had dissipated to near nothing with the first month of (Y/n)’s introduction to the prefecture the Flame Hashira had taken to training some of the slayers stationed there to hone their skills into something more fine tuned. Things had been quiet there lately, which made Mitsuri all the more glad. As long as (Y/n) was safe, she was happy. She couldn’t wait to read the new letter.

Unfortunately, she didn’t get very far before Urara hopped onto her desk in a tizzy to alert her of a new mission. She placed the letter with the others in the box of wood carvings (Y/n) had given her for safe keeping until later and grabbed her sword. She would have to put the letter on the back burner for now.

Mitsuri followed after Urara, running even faster when she saw a heavy smoke billowing up to the sky. The village on the outskirts of her patrol area was in flames, green flames.

She helped organize the villagers and their evacuation and looked around for the fire’s source. It seemed to jump from roof to roof despite the dead still air. There was definitely a demon art at play here.

A building collapsed and she heard a desperate cry for help within the wreckage along with a sinister cackle.

Mitsuri pushed through the opposite direction the villagers were running in, telling the lower ranked slayers that had shown up to help with the evacuation efforts while she forged ahead.

The demon was easy enough to find. He was still cackling and hooting as another home came crashing down, the fire curled around him as gentle as running water.

Within the collapsed rubble and wood was a young couple, the wife trying valiantly to free her husband from underneath a heavy beam despite the demon’s lazy, taunting approach. Mitsuri had seen enough.

She unfurled her sword and whipped it at the demon, aiming for his neck, but he blocked her with his arm, unconcerned with the loss of the limb as it quickly regrew.

He turned to face her, no longer as amused as he once was, and with a loud growl he threw his strange green flames in Mitsuri’s direction.

She rolled away from the blast and quickly countered, narrowly missing her target as he hopped backwards. The Demon released an exaggerated sigh.

“Can’t you see I’m busy with those folks there? I’m trying to have a nice, crispy meal and you’re ruining it!”

“You’re awful! As if I would stand aside and let you do such a thing!” Mitsuri whipped her sword hard enough to crack the ground where the demon’s feet had been mere seconds before.

Mitsuri had no time to behead the demon before the fire would encircle the trapped couple. She would have to subdue him for a time and then quickly get them out of there before returning to finish the job.

She had her opportunity when their battle led them between two homes with hardly any space between them. The demon ran to slip between them and out of Mitsuri’s line of sight, but the Hashira struck at a weakened support beam and both houses came tumbling down. Right on the demon’s head.

“That should keep you busy for awhile!” Mitsuri yelled as she ran. “See how much you like it!”

She traveled across the burning rubble of the house and grabbed the beam that pressed down on the man’s legs. With her strength, the beam rose easily and the woman was able to slip her husband out from under the new gap.

“Go! Go! Before the fire cuts the exit!” Mitsuri warned.

“Thank you!” The man coughed, stumbling through the wreckage with smoke stung eyes and his wife supporting his weight as they limped out together.

With a mighty grunt, Mitsuri threw the beam to the ground. Just as she turned to leave, a bright green inferno caught her eye, the demon had escaped the rubble and she was in trouble!

“I’ll roast you on a spit you damn nuisance!”

Mitsuri fumbled with her blade on her hip as the hot flames burst towards her, she wasn’t going to draw it in time! Her eyes pinched shut on reflex.

“Flame Breathing, Fourth Form: Blooming Flame Undulation!”

The sour heat of the green flames dissipated and a new, purer heat took its place.

“Are you okay, Kanroji-san?”

Mitsuri’s eyes shot open and her mouth fell open in both disbelief and elation. Before her stood (Y/n), looking bright and powerful. She surely grew into her position in her time away.

“What! What are you doing here, (Y/n)-chan?!”

(Y/n) took no offense because Mitsuri was clearly excited to see her. She laughed, redirecting her attention to the demon who’s eyes darted between the two Hashira with obvious discomfort.

“Didn’t you receive my letter?”

“I didn’t have time to read it!”

“Ah, well, I’m getting reassigned! I was just finishing up with Oyakata-sama before I was redirected here, and not a moment too soon!”

Mitsuri withdrew her blade, ready to fight, but still she wanted to talk.

“Reassigned? I thought you were doing well in Hokkaido?”

“Well enough that the Master doesn’t think a Hashira’s presence is needed there all of the time. The lower ranks can handle themselves now. I’m going back to Tokyo!”

“Are you two really catching up it front of me?” The demon squealed unpleasantly. Though he did not like his odds, his pride still got the better of him.

“I don’t see why we couldn’t. Your demon art is destructive, but you, yourself aren’t very strong. Just opportunistic. I haven’t seen Kanroji-san in over a year and I have a lot I’d like to tell her.” (Y/n) answered bluntly, making the demon more irate.

“The honor is all yours.” (Y/n) told Mitsuri with a smile as the demon charged senselessly towards them.

Mitsuri beamed at her in return and snapped her blade outward, slicing clean through the foolish demon’s neck. The excess momentum sent the head sailing passed the two Hashira and out of sight. The body began to crumble and the green flames sputtered out when it suddenly began to rain.

“So much destruction.” (Y/n) shook her head in disbelief. “We’re lucky the demon seemed so ‘young’ and inexperienced. Given any time to grow, he would have been a much greater threat— hey!” (Y/n) laughed when Mitsuri suddenly catapulted into her arms.

“I missed you so much!” Mitsuri wailed.

“I missed you too!” (Y/n) yelled twice as loud, happy tears rolling down her cheeks, mixing with the rain.

They spun around over the smoldering lumber as the cool rain poured over them. The first few spins turned into a dance and they soon became drenched, but still without a care in the world. They slowed and then came to a stop, both laughing breathlessly, their foreheads pressed together.

Without much thought, (Y/n) kissed Mitsuri’s forehead, only realizing her error when Mitsuri made a sound between a choked gasp and a delighted squee.

“Wah! I’m sorry!” (Y/n) groaned, pulling away to hide her face in her hands. “Ah! I had all this time to think of a proper confession and I already blew it! What is wrong with me?!”

Mitsuri pulled (Y/n)’s hands away from her face and they both looked at each other with matching surprised intensity. Neither dared even to blink.

Mitsuri’s mouth opened and closed several times before she shook her head and pulled (Y/n)’s hands behind her waist. The motion pulled the Flame Hashira nearly flush against Mitsuri and her hands were released for only a moment before Mitsuri’s arms encircled her neck and their lips met in a bruising kiss.

“I love you,” Mitsuri murmured shyly despite taking such a confident action. “I wanted to tell you that before you left, but I lost my nerve and I regretted not telling you every day since.”

“You too?” (Y/n) marveled. “I wanted to tell you back then too!”

“You really did?”

“Yeah!”

(Y/n) swept Mitsuri off of her feet and hugged her tight. Mitsuri was so ecstatic at the prospect of being carried she got all wiggly like an excited puppy. (Y/n) stumbled but held Mitsuri all the same and they exited the smoldering wreckage together.

The other slayers and freshly arrived Kakushi gave them strange looks, but followed their orders all the same. They worked to build temporary shelters for the small village and fix up the homes that were salvageable.

The rain stopped when the sun crept up upon the horizon. (Y/n) and Mitsuri helped put the finishing touches on the last shelter and left the rest in the hands of the locals. As they walked together, Mitsuri pulled on (Y/n)’s arm.

“You know, I don’t have to leave right away…” (Y/n) tested, “If you think it’s okay, I could head back with you, only if you want to.”

“Of course I want you to head back with me! I haven’t even touched your old room so it’s ready for you! But you could just stay in my room with me. We still have a lot to talk about after all!” Mitsuri stuttered and blushed, cupping her burning cheek with her free hand.

“You’re right! That would be more convenient, wouldn’t it?” (Y/n) agreed, mind whirring as she screamed on the inside.

It may take them some time yet to navigate the relationship they had been dreaming of, but at least they were on the right track now.

[rallamajoop]

I love your Wintersberg smut fics 😭😭😭 Do you have any more fic drafts/ ideas that are bouncing around in your brain? I'd love to hear... Ethan getting his smart mouth shut up for once and getting fucked stupid is my favorite trope.

Aha, I take it you enjoyed Atypical Side-Effects? Does Medical Log count too? Either way, now I'm very amused that the last ask I got like this one was from someone who was into Ethan bantering his way through sex ‒ I mean, nice to know I'm appealing to multiple markets here! XD

I did post a list of stuff I had in the works back in September, but a lot of those have been checked off and posted since then, so maybe we're due for an update. There's not as much wintersberg on the current list as there was, but we'll see where it goes.

So, fic I have actually made progress on in the last month or two:

The second chapter of Atypical Side-Effects I've been promising everyone is with my beta now, though I cannot tell you there's much smut in this one, and it's currently second in the queue behind...

That post-RE7 Mithan fic where Mia actually gets to come clean that I mentioned in my last WIP post, which has somehow grown into a veritable monster (how tf did this thing break 15k I do not know), and is responsible for stalling progress on most everything else around it while it ate writing time. But it is at last (hopefully) done, and my beta is trying to sort out if it's ready to be unleashed on the world now.

As mentioned in a comment or two, I've also been working on a sequel to my Yuletide Lost Boys fic Pater Unfamilias. It's about halfway done now, I think?

In other misc fandom news, I've still got a couple of semi-cast-off bits of Deus Ex fic that came out of my Spare Parts anthology not-quite-finished (and which I've been promising myself I will totally get back to and finish sometime after that big one above was done). Whether they end up getting added to that story or whether I wind up posting them as their own things remains to be decided.

But back in Resi-land, I may have mentioned in that last post that I had part of a continuation of That One Where Heisenberg Follows Him Home, and that's one I'm still picking away at between other projects. Eventual Ethan/Mia/Heisenberg, just for a little variety, but it's got its teeth in me and definitely wants to go somewhere.

So overall, possibly not quite as much wintersberg as you might have hoped? Though I may have kind of promised someone there was still more of that one Beauty and the Beast wintersberg AU still very much in my plans. And one or two other things from that older list are still in the 'may get back to' pile too.

But if you’re asking about ideas that haven’t necessarily made the draft stage, well, I could always list you a few…

I have forever been toying with the idea of a post-canon Heisenberg-lives idea, where he ends up working for Chris’ outfit as a medical examiner who specialises in cutting apart whatever horrific BOWs have been brought back for study, and also in terrifying any hapless intern who so much as wanders into his lab. I mean, he’d be perfect for the job: plenty experienced in studying bioweapons, utterly un-squeamish about cutting up dead things, and as a bonus, completely qualified to defend himself whenever some ambitious specimen decides to get up again unexpectedly. Speaking of which, mundane AUs where Heisenberg’s some kind of medical examiner should really be more of a thing too (sure, mechanic works too, but is it really gross enough for him?)

Speaking of Heisenberg-lives possibilities, the idea of a universe where he survives (unbeknownst to our heroes) thanks to having bought a ‘life insurance policy’ from the Duke which involves him being resurrected via mould trickery is another one I’ve had forever. Did actually mention it in my last in-progress post (it’s the fairy tale idea titled simply ‘Koschei’), but haven’t really made any progress on it since.

Alternately, in a hypothetical Ethan-lives-Heisenberg-doesn’t AU, the idea of a Heisenberg who continues to haunt Ethan as a mould-ghost ala virtual-Eveline has to rank pretty high on the “has no-one does this? Because someone should totally do this”-scale. No really concrete ideas for this one though, so consider it very much free to a good home.

In more recent ideas, someone pointed out to me a little while ago the possibility that Heisenberg might be able to feel it when Ethan touches anything metal (which sure does cast Ethan’s own arsenal in an interesting light!) Don’t know if I’ll ever actually get around to doing something with this one, but I’ve definitely given this one some thought.

On a related note, look, I still say the idea of Heisenberg deciding to make Ethan appreciate his genius by trapping him in a massive soldat-orgy is one I want someone else to write for me, but I’ve definitely now spent enough time explaining it to certain people that I can’t deny having given it some real thought.

In other free-to-a-good-home ideas, has anyone ever written a decent little Eveline-wins-AU horror story, with Mia and Ethan stuck playing ‘families’ with her, and only conditionally conscious of what’s really going on? Because there just is not enough real horror or fic willing to treat Eveline as the horrific little monster she canonically is around this place.

And just for something completely different, some kind of surreal Mia/Zoe thing set during RE7, with Mia constantly shifting between different levels of awareness of what’s going on, how much she can remember, and what she thinks her relationship to Eveline really is preferably with some at least R-rated Mia/Zoe smut is another of those ideas I’ve been sitting on forever now.

...and I hope that about answers your question, because that's me about out. *g*

[bubblegumbabycow]

The Phoenix

Six of Crows x Reader

WC: 1.5k

Warnings: typical Crow stuff, other than that there’s nothing.

Chapter 1

Shadows cloak me. Silently slipping over the rooftops, I slither into the darkness, melting away like snow on wet ground. 

I watch her. Waiting. So does she. The Wraith. Silent. Watchful. Kaz Brekker’s number 1.

Heart racing, breath shaky, I feel my power flicker at my fingertips, flames running across my knuckles. Fear claws at my chest. A savage animal waiting to tear me to shreds at the slightest slip in composure. 

She prowls across the roof; the moon casting a silver shine across her silky, golden-caramel skin. A flash of silver. She is armed. My palms grow hot. The rumbling power within me waiting to be unleashed.

“I know you’re there.” She hisses, continuing to circle before my hiding place. 

I make no move to reveal myself. I know her games. Danced this dance many times. Had each step memorised. I am not falling into Kaz Brekker’s trap this time. 

My body is stiff and rigid. Ready to spring into action. Flames lick at my fingertips. 

“Tomorrow, sundown, Goedmedbridge, Kaz Brekker will be waiting.” And with that, she is gone, slipping soundlessly from the roof.

It isn’t an invitation. It’s a demand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, the Bastard of the Barrel.

The man, the myth, the legend.

But what does he want from me?

I lie there, on my poor excuse for a bed, mind alight with the unknown.

Pressing the heels of my palms to my eyes, I fruitlessly try to calm my restless mind. Squeezing my eyes shut, I wait for sleep to sweep me up into its awaiting arms.

But sleep never comes.

The first rays of sun push through the dense fog that blankets Ketterdam. My mind is still buzzing as I proceed with my morning’s business. 

The cold Ketterdam wind nips at my cheeks when I step out of my dingy, mouldy flat. Swiftly, I slip through the thickening crowd at East Stave. Already, tourists were pouring onto the street. Jostling about. Moving with the slow flow of traffic. They laugh and point at people dressed up in costumes from the comedie brute or get drawn into the many gambling dens and pleasure houses spread along the winding streets of Ketterdam.

The roofs are my preferred route to work but at this time of day, with the sun already peeking over the lopsided, mismatched buildings, they aren’t an option. So instead, I stick to the shadowy corners, dingy alleys and cold, musty back ways. 

I know the art of blending in well, finding the shadows and running between them. I had perfected the skill in my time at the Little Palace, slinking through the corridors, unnoticed, with my best friend. 

Squirt. 

My stomach twists into knots at the thought of him. I haven’t seen him since he was drafted in the Second Army. He was my Squirt and I was his Spark. The Tidemaker and the Inferni. Tears threaten to fall but I brush them away quickly. It is best not to show weakness in the barrel. 

Sliding in through the back door of the shop, I quietly tiptoe to my work bench. Harold was busy working on an order. Head bent low, eyes screwed up in concentration as he bent the steel to his will. 

After evading capture from slavers when the war was over, I had escaped to Kerch, to the bustling streets of Ketterdam. I was an empty shell of the person I was before, but life on the streets of the barrel has toughened me. I am no longer the girl from the Little Palace. No longer the girl who would sneak into the kitchen in the middle of the night or run through the fields giggling, carefree and unburdened. The girl I have become is tougher, more formidable. There is less giggling and more scowling, less frolicking in the sunshine and more slinking in the shadows, less likely to get killed and more likely to be the killer.

I have changed. There is no denying that. But whether it is for the better or worse, that is still undecided.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Work was another problem I had to solve quickly, or risk being left to rot on the cold, miserable streets of the barrel. Lucky for me, Harold, an old Fabricator, welcomed me with open arms. 

I am no Fabricator. No, my skills are as an Inferni. I help where I can and get a fair pay. Enough to scrape a living on the bustling streets of the big trade city in Kerch.

The day had flown by in a blur of monotony and dullness. Out the back, I am sliding orders off the shelves to prepare them for customers when the familiar tinkle of the bell chimes through the shop as someone enters the small, homely shop.

My insides turn to ice when I catch a glimpse of the man standing in the doorway. Dark Zemeni skin, tall lean frame, pearl revolvers at his hips. He smiles warmly, saying a few words I can’t catch. As Harold guffaws and makes his way towards me, I can feel my insides turning to ice.

‘Tomorrow, sundown, Goedmedbridge, Kaz Brekker will be waiting.’

Plastering a fake smile on my face, I continue my work. My stomach is flip flopping around in the ice filled void where all my intestines are supposed to be and my heart is leaping out of my chest. I feel my palms grow hot and sweaty, I clumsily fumble with the orders when they begin to shake.

“Didn’t realise you had plans to day,” Harold smiles a devious smile, coming around the corner and leaning against the shelving.

My heart races as I scrunch my eyebrows together in mock confusion. The intensity of the situation hits me like a ton of bricks, I am about to meet the Kaz Brekker, the most notorious gang lead of all time.

"I had no idea either," I respond, trying my best to conceal the tumultuous feelings raging inside of me.

“There’s a man at the door asking for you,” Harold's voice was gentle but insistent as he gave me a push towards the door, “go out and enjoy yourself for once Y/n, it’s time you moved on.”

 Guilt and grief consume me, threatening to drown me in their depths. I know what he is talking about. Squirt's absence is an unfillable void in my life that haunts me endlessly. I have no idea where he is, whether he's still alive or if he had died on the front line, fighting for his country, but one thing is for sure - he's not here with me.

Squirt, with his infectious laughter and charming personality, was a bright and shining light in my life. His crooked grin, endearing quirks, and soft, curly locks cascading over his piercing, ocean blue eyes…

No. 

I can't keep doing this to myself. The mere thought of him leaves me drowning in a sea of despair, struggling to stay afloat. How could he leave such a massive void that I can't seem to fill? I feel like I'm on a never-ending rollercoaster, where the highs are so high, and the lows so low, leaving me sick with emotion. I need to find a way out of this vicious cycle of pain and heartache. I need to muster the strength to overcome my own vulnerabilities. I can't keep letting my emotions control me. What happened was for the best. He is better off with out me.

Reluctantly, I step out, walking briskly towards the door.

“Good morning darling” Jesper drawls, the sweet nickname flowing effortlessly from his lips. I can't help but wonder how many others he's whispered those very same words to, how many hearts he's captured with his endless charm. The mere thought makes me shudder and my insides churn with disgust.

I brush past him, “Don’t make this any more unpleasant than it already is,” I mutter.

He throws up his hands in frustration, trailing behind me with an air of disbelief. It's as though he's never encountered someone who could resist his words. 

With great difficulty, I force my body to walk towards Goedmedbridge. Every bit of sense in me screams in vehement protest, but I make my legs put one foot in front of the other, despite the overwhelming urge to run and never come back.

There he is. Kaz Brekker. Black tailored suit, raven black hair, hands lazily resting atop his infamous crow headed cane in front of him, and a smug smirk that makes my blood boil

Fury, an intense and searing wrath, boils within me, burning through my veins and igniting a ferocious blaze that consumes my very being. Flames flicker and dance across my fingertips.

“Don’t get frisky Y/L/N” he rasps

“What do you want,” I snap.

“Patience, you will find out in good time,” and with that he turns on his heel, beckoning me to follow.

~~~~~~~~~ Let me know what you think!

[missanthropicprinciple]

miss anthro’s film recs: May 2021

Jurassic Park 1993: Watched this for the third time in a month today to celebrate it's release 28 years ago. Like most excellent films, it was created by a lucky intersection of talent. The remarkable premise was crafted into a brilliant script by David Koepp and author Michael Crichton; it was tight, clean, fast-paced - no plot holes and unnecessary scenes. Steven Spielberg really did a fantastic job of making a cohesive production and giving it a kind of emotional continuity. The cast is outstanding. I could write an essay about each one. Richard Attenborough brings pathos to John Hammond, the delusional tycoon. Sam Neill is perfect as Alan Grant, a jaded paleontologist who finds deeper compassion. Laura Dern gives a raw performance as the resolute and charming paleo-botanist Ellie Sattler. Jeff Goldblum stars as Ian Malcolm, chaotician and prototype "rock-star scientist." Bob Peck is wonderful as the sensible game warden Robert Muldoon. Samuel L. Jackson works his magic as sardonic chief engineer Ray Arnold. And of course, excellent performances from Martin Ferrero, Wayne Knight, Joseph Mazzello, and Ariana Richards. The special and physical effects are remarkable and most of them remain so nearly three decades later, including the life-sized animatronic Tyrannosaurus rex and just the right amount of CGI. Cinematography by Dean Cundey features god-tier-level use of scale framing. Not to mention great use of color, blocking, sound, costume, John Williams' beautiful score - you name it, this film really has everything going for it. Is this a perfect film? No, but it gets bloody close. Unmissable science-fiction that examines the horror unleashed by the arrogance of mankind. 

The Birdcage 1996: This 25* year old film is a real gem. While the modern viewer (myself included) could find fault with some stereotypes, etc., the classic comedy has aged quite well. There’s a lot of slapstick and hysterically funny and clever dialogue. Williams and Lane are outstanding. There’s a very touching scene between the two of them which is very romantic and sweet. And of course the whole cast is perfect. I’m always impressed by this film when I haven’t seen it in a while.

The Moon-Spinners 1964: You don’t need to be a Disney fan to love this incredible classic. Hayley Mills is well loved but I don’t think she’s given enough credit for being not only a brilliant child actor but also a great actor as she aged. Her performance is stellar. The whole movie is fun and tense, bringing Mary Stewart’s novel to life in the great and beautiful country of Greece. It’s a fun adventure from start to finish with humor and romance.

Fairytale: A True Story 1997: Want to cry your eyes out about the Cottingley fairy hoax of 1917? You may not trust me but I recommend this experience. Honestly, this movie is life-changing. This is a depiction of a real life story involving historical figures. Usually no one gets that quite right but this movie kinda does. Peter O’Toole looks nothing like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, but Harvey Keitel looks remarkably like Harry Houdini. Something about the music and what they do with this story gets into your bloodstream. I couldn’t possibly spoil for anyone who knows nothing about it, but I can say that there is some incredible CGI and a scene where someone faces retribution from an unexpected and shocking source.

edit 2023:

*now 27

I found this in my drafts. Clearly, life got in the way and I didn’t continue my recommendation posts (I have the templates drafted in text form.) Also, while drafting this edit I was attacked by a small beetle. I remain unharmed and have released the beetle into its natural environment.

[jefferythejelly]

ok more kidfic: do u have any pregnancy hcs? Especially for Foolish bc I've only rarely seen him as a dad :3

u have no idea what u've just unleashed 90% of the brainrot bulletpoint list i have for this au is pregnancy headcanons asjdfadkjs

this is like 90% just copy pasted from that bulletpoint list and slightly edited and also i've had this document since may of last year and have been slowly adding on to it every once in a while since then so FAIR WARNING this post is Quite Long

they try decorating the nursery themselves but neither of them know what to get or how to make it cute so then foolish calls up tina who eventually just makes them call up an interior designer XD

can you imagine them telling their friends abt it. can u imagine how cute auntie tina would be. she would be taking it so serious like she doesnt want any of the responsibility but she wants to be like the cool aunt y'know

random tidbit but i can so imagine a conversation between tina and foosh where they start talkin about the phrase "buns in the oven." like i think tina would think that phrase is really cute. i think that phrase is really cute tbh. hes got buns in the oven :>

following in the vein of nervous-but-excited-newly-pregnant-couple them going to foolish's prenatal care appointments and taking his health like super seriously. also ultrasounds. i dont think either of them would Cry cry but theyd maybe get a little teary eyed lookin at their kids for the first time

on some more classic omegaverse bullshit: punz had always been a bit possessive/protective as a partner and that very much continues once theyre mates and foolish is pregnant. like really frequently is holding his hand or has an arm around him, tries to be really doting and get him whatever he asks. not as common when theyre in public but one of his fave things to do is hug foolish from behind with his hands on his stomach

i'd imagine they have a few arguments esp when foolish is hormonal and does/says shit that annoys punz and he cant understand why. they work it out tho, bc they love each other <3

in the time leading up to foolish's due date his nesting instincts go crazy. theres nests everywhere in the whole house. when hes not sitting chilling in a nest hes making a new one or readjusting one

(this one is real long bc it is a vaguely drafted out scene oops) foolish's water breaks on stream/at least when he's in vc on someone else's stream bc like. i deffo think it would. u think this man would take a break? like the streams would get shorter especially as his hormones and instincts get more fucky but he would still be trying to be on that grindTM. and (bcuz this is the part i actually vaguely researched) he's been having like the irregular not actually real contractions (theres a name im forgetting it rn) so hes gotten used to just like feeling them, noting when the time is, and brushing it off when it doesnt happen again. so he's in vc with someone, i'm thinking tina lets just say tina, and he's in the middle of laughing really hard at a joke, but abruptly cuts off his windexing when he feels the whole "rush of fluid" thing and is all like o_o and tina's all like "foolish? you okay?" when he stops laughing like that and foolish is like "uh. i think my water just broke?" which makes tina go all "wait What?! like- like the baby's coming?" "yeah" "foolish!" (chat is freaking out. monkaS monkaW fukW) "shouldnt you like, go to the hospital?" "yeah, uh, bye chat!" (chat has been yelling at him since he said his water broke to end stream) he yells for punz who ofc comes rushing into the room like "whats going on do you need something" and when foolish tells him his water just broke he starts freaking out a little and then foolish has a contraction right then (is that realistic timing tbh its been a while since i did that google search. what i do remember is that theres apparently apps for timing contractions like isnt that neat. anyways) but then theyre like "sorry tina bye!" and then tinas like "good luck!" (is that a normal thing to say idk. even if it isnt it could be funny hashtag awkward girl swag /affectionate) and then they like drive to the hospital and stuff

i just have this image of like the night they come back from the hospital both of them in their nest with the babies laying between them oughhhhhh

listen i just think this is really cute but punz sitting on the edge of the hospital bed while foolish is in labor so he can lean into him and calm down with his scent

actually thought abt it a bit more and mayb this is more general omegaverse hcs but like i think omegas would have an instinct to give birth in a nest which obv is harder to do while also having the support of modern medicine in a hospital but maybe it is more normalized to bring some blankets/pillows/clothes/what have you to make a lil temporary nest in the hospital bed

foolish is way more absentminded/no thoughts head empty than usual (like forgets what hes saying in the middle of a sentence bad) bc of fucked up hormones pregnancy brain

he tries having one or two blankets wrapped around him on stream to be sort of like a temporary nest when his instincts start going wacky. sometimes it works sometimes he accidentally gets too sleepy and begrudgingly admits that he should probably end stream bc he can barely think thru the omega nesting instinct brain fog

actually on that note i think there a couple of times where punz basically forces him to take a break from streaming. it never lasts very long

i have decided that the timing of their baby is such that foolish is like 7/8 months when christmas rolls around bc i was at family christmas brainrotting what it would be like for them to have like cute domestic family christmas while foolish is still pregnant. he falls asleep on the couch leaning against punz's shoulder after dinner its very cute

they maybe do a thing where like they have christmas with one family on eve and one on day and have a slightly chaotic nighttime flight? do the flight times work out for that idk. but its bc their families wanna see them bc theyre all excited for the baby awwww

wait just remembered the whole scene i had imagined for this where they land in mass super late at night/early morning and once they get back to punz's parents house p much immediately go to bed but foolish cant sleep bc the babies keep moving and kicking and punz scootches down so hes all curled up next to his tummy and purrs at them so that they calm down and foolish can sleep

at the end of his pregnancy foolish is just like capital d Done like get these babies out my back hurts im tired my belly is fuckin huge. ive got tits now

punz very happily gives him back massages tho <3 even if he sometimes gets overdramatically whiny about it first

foolish is one day horrified to realize none of his usual foods are appealing and he is instead craving some weird ass food combo

when foolish starts showing more and its gonna be harder to hide on stream they do a cute lil classic pregnancy announcement photo where punz like has his hands around him on his belly (maybe taken by karl? or someone? i just realized i have no idea where i hc them living like i guess its always been vaguely nc but idk if thats like. necessary? idk whatever) but im imagining the one they end up posting isnt even one of the ones they were posing for its like a candid one where theyre looking at each other over foolishs shoulder or like laughing or something idk its cute its not staged and weird lookin

oh also at some point punz convinces foolish to do a maternity photoshoot (well kind of. its just punz taking pics of him in his underwear bc he maybe has a Thing for heavily pregnant foolish) and at first foolish feels kinda embarrassed and silly and punz keeps complimenting him and making him flustered (i have a couple of lil doodles of this + a few other ones related to this au in a sketchbook somewhere but i dont feel like digging them out + taking pics rn ajfsbajskb)

final note would like everyone to know as i was typing this foolish lost his water bucket in mc and he phrased it like "my water just broke" and chat was all like "wow congratulations whos the father." like what are the chances. also why is he like this. also can u really blame me for making this au when he is like this

[heybaetae]

taehyung bothering loving yeontan cr. namuspromised

[anti-dazai-blog]

how do you deal with hate? like from what I understand, you posted your first "controversial" post knowing that people might hate you for it, and you did so anyways. even tho it might have felt like you were the only one who believed those things at the time. where do you get the confidence? cause honestly that was such a slay.

Like, obvi we all have our own opinions and I don't agree with everything you said but the confidence you had.. grrrr i like it so much 💗💗 i love it when people are real with their opinions.

okay ty, im sorry for rambling, gonna stop here now 😭😭

I really want to play it cool and say something like “I just don’t care what people think of me,” but honestly? Yeah I was terrified of posting my first BSD-related post.

I had been enjoying the BSD fandom from afar for about a year before posting anything about it. I’ve always had this personal pet peeve when (fictional or real) bullies get a free pass to be assholes when they’re conventionally attractive, but that applies to all fandoms, not just BSD and not just Dazai. 

(Note that that’s not a moral stance, there’s nothing wrong with liking a morally grey character, and there’s nothing wrong with finding a bad (fictional or real) person to be physically attractive. This pet peeve of mine stems more from how (fictional) bullies who aren’t attractive are seen as the biggest evil unleashed upon the world, while fictional bullies who are attractive are seen as The Ideal Boyfriend)

One day I saw a post pointing out one of the things Dazai did that bothered me, and I really wanted to add to it via reblog, but I was concerned I’d derail the original post, so I screenshot it and wrote a whole follow-up rant. 

Then I saved that post in my drafts for three days.

I posted something vague like “I really want to talk about this one character from this one fandom, but the fandom is very aggressive and they’d burn me at the stake if I said anything too controversial”

I don’t think I intended to explicitly tag it with anything searchable, but I must have said something like “#yeah this is about bsd those guys are scary”— apparently that counts as tagging it #bsd by tumblr’s standards, and someone from the bsd fandom (who I’m now mutuals with) responded with something like “most of us are nice! We wanna hear what you have to say!!” 

That was enough motivation for me to get that post out of drafts, and even then I didn’t post it immediately. I scheduled it to post for a time when I wasn’t home, so that if there’d be backlash I wouldn’t have to witness it live and I could just delete the post later.

Not only was there no backlash, but hardly anyone saw the post. Iirc it got between 3-5 notes. That was what gave me the confidence to continue talking about my (admittedly controversial) fandom opinions. 

My main blog is primarily a Shakespeare/Classic Lit blog, and the online fandom for those things encourages controversial opinions (as opposed to the standard anime blog, where it seems like posting controversy is a taboo). So once I had the confidence to interact with an anime fandom in the first place, it wasn’t too hard to post my controversial opinions, because that’s the internet culture I’m more used to.

As for how I deal with the hate, you’ll be glad to know there’s only one person on this entire site who sends (bsd-related) hate. If you’ve received any hate, it’s from her. So while I have received hate messages (everything ranging from “your blog sucks” to graphic suicide bate and murder threats), knowing it’s all from the same person makes it all pretty meaningless. Everyone else on tumblr just blocks what they don’t want to see, either by blocking blogs they’d like to avoid or by blocking tags for subjects that annoy them. 

Since I tag anything that speaks of Dazai in a negative way as “#anti Dazai,” I don’t often run into people who don’t want to see negative character analysis who’ve discovered my posts accidentally.

If you want to post about something, go right ahead! The people who enjoy the content you make will follow you, and the people who don’t will block you, and everyone will curate their own tumblr experience to make this site something we can all enjoy. Admittedly if the fandom you’d like to post to is bsd, you WILL get harassed by that one person, but everyone else in this fandom has gotten harassed by her too. We mostly just ignore her at this point. 

Posting controversial opinions to fandom spaces can be scary, but if you have something you’d like to post, go for it! I personally would recommend starting a side blog for it, that way if things really do get out of hand you could delete it easily without losing your tumblr account. But the most likely outcome is that it wouldn’t gain enough traction for anyone to be overly bothered by it. Controversial things are more often ignored than hated on.

(For context, I’m referring to this blog too! I’m a tiny little blog. So please don’t interpret that as some veiled insult, I’m in this group of “tiny controversial fandom blog” too)

Anyway. Best of luck to you!! And remember, the point of posting things is to have fun! If it’s causing more stress than enjoyment, there’s no shame in taking a break or logging off for a bit. I’ve taken multiple breaks, and I only post to the Anti-Dazai Series when I enjoy what I’m posting. 

[Also. I absolutely love controversial fandom opinions, especially if they’re well written. It doesn’t matter to me whether or not I agree, so long as it’s a cool or original take on the source material. So if you wanna dm me, I’ll definitely follow you and your blog full of all your hottest takes]

[chronicler-of-narrative]

Hello genshin tumblr!

So, making good on my promise, i return to tell you about my first and main oc: Sigurd!

(Art made by the fantastic @the-fallen-aesthetics, go and show them some love! They're an incredible multi-fandom artist!)

Now, before i get into his backstory, I want to point out a small detail regarding his desogn: How, unlike most genshin characters, Sigurd appears to be masked (yes, I know Xiao, Freminet and Gaming all put on headwear during their bursts, but I dont count that). But, what if I told you that in fact, this is Sigurd's face? That Sigurd is not the man, but the mask?

So, with that narrative hook added to convince you read more, here's the gist:

In the mechanized kindom of Khaenri'ah, Sigurd still found himself by chance as the servant of an uncaring and almost sadistic master. Bruised and overwhelmed, Sigurd would eventually turn on his master, stealing a rusty hatchet from one of his master's many armories before promptly chopping him in half.

Eventually, Sigurd's crime was discovered, and so he was put on trial, with a mask over his face to indicate his sinner status and to prevent him the shame of being known. Though, as a result of some shady dealings between the court and an enigmatic acquaintance of Sigurd's, instead of finding himself in the gallows, Sigurd instead found himself in the dungeon, still wearing that same mask, although now, curiously...He was holding a greataxe.

For the punishment was, ironically enough, for Sigurd to continue engaging in the very crime that had put him there, though this time his victims were the worst of the worst. Sigurd was now a captive executioner.

Little did Khaenri'ah's court know, howevery that instead of providing Sigurd with repentance, they had instead created a monster.

After being locked up for so long in a dark, dusty tunnel surrounded by naught but corpses and sin, Sigurd began to go mad: In his eyes, he was no longer a criminal enduring punishment, but a righteous champion of justice who was graciously given the honor or disposing of the nation's filth.

In fact, it got so bad that, even when his sentence was up, the locks on Sigurd's dungeon grew ever stronger. The very people who prosecuted him grew so terrified of the violent lunatic stuck in their basement that they just started throwing the most banal of criminals at him, if only in hopes to keep him sated.

Eventually, the Cataclysm came. And Sigurd, now fully convinced of his noble purpose, thought it the perfect time to leave the dungeon in hopes of saving his people from the influx of monsters. Though, he never did reach the warzone, for an encounter with said enigmatic acquaintance lead to Sigurd's vision fading to black.

And yet, when a corrupt Garde named Lestat, desperate to avoid judgement for his actions, chanced upon a strange mask washed up on Fontaine's shores, he had no way of knowing that by dawning it (in hopes of using it as a disguise)...He would end up unleashing a madman with 500 years of built up vitriol.

So yea, thats about it. Had to rewrite this whole post once because im an idiot who forgot to hit save to drafts. But yea, hope you guys enjoy him, and my ask box is always open. I also originally had a fic go go along with it, but since i didnt quite like how it came out, its currently rotting in my notes app. However, should you folks like my little executioner, I might be more inclined to actually fully work on it (which I might do anyway, but im really not sure).

If you took the time to read all the way to hear, thank you so much and have an incredible day!

[aho-dapa]

a completely indulgent snippet from my fic

(lucien and feyre confront each other but it’s just lucien being angry on tamtam’s behalf / a really rough draft / idk this scene will make it in either) 

“I have had my fill of watching you two dance pitifully around each other. Before you left, both of you were ignoring each other’s pain and pretending that you both were not broken. I am sick and tired of you putting everything on Tamlin’s shoulders.”

Lucien stops and then turns, strangling any of the words Feyre had in her defense with the absolute fiery rage in his eyes. He snarls his next words at her

“So don’t you dare belittle the love Tamlin has for you as a by product of fateful coincidence simply because it is not Cauldron Made–as a stepping stool that led you to your beloved flying rat. Just because he wasn’t your mate when he watched you die, I watched him die right along with you. You want to know what is truly ironic, even though you came back to life–came back to him–both of you were still under that damned mountain. He still is.”

“You are my friend, Feyre,” Lucien softens a bit at this but continues on just as steely, “but Tamlin is like a brother–is a brother–to me. He is some of the only family I have left. I will not stand by and watch as you continue to twist that ashwood dagger you stabbed in his chest with for the sake of revenge. This Court knows the consequences and emptiness it brings, and has known it for far longer than you have been alive. I do not care if Rhysand is your mate, if you still love Tamlin or not, leave him be. Leave him be, Feyre, for he hurts all the more because of you. Especially since you won’t let go of the hurt he has done to you.”

Feyre doesn’t even know how to react. The sudden unleashing of Lucien’s rageful plea lashes against her heart and she bleeds. The next words Lucien says are quiet but without its earlier bite. “You know, Feyre, I knew that Under the Mountain changed you, of course it had. It changed us all, broke us all in some way. It seems the Night Court has changed you yet again.”

This time Lucien’s words did have their familiar bite even though he said it with an exhausted air of absolute truth even she could not deny. After all, had she not also thought the very same?

“It seems that the shadows of the Court of Nightmares have also slithered their way into your heart, Feyre."

"How dare you. How dare you do this to me and him, when you know, you know, what it will do. What it will do to this place that you once called home. My home. How dare you try to break this Court when we trusted you to help us rebuild it. You have abandoned this Court more than once and dare to call yourself High Lady of another. Dare to admonish what we are trying to build and judge us for not trusting you when you have proven that you cannot be trusted. When I still thought you could be a friend like you once were. I would be careful, Feyre, of what you are allowing yourself to become."

Feyre bristles and she’s already baring her teeth at Lucien, “You don’t get to force me to forgive him for what he did! What he just did the other day! He hurt me! He trapped me here!”

Feyre strides closer to Lucien, feeling dangerous with the amount of anger and hurt in her chest, “You say that we were both still under that damned mountain, well guess what–there will always be a part of me under that mountain. Always. I gave up everything for him while I was there.”

She watches Lucien’s eyes flash but her next words are broken enough that they make him pause, “I killed for him. I died for him. And when I came back, all I wanted was to not feel trapped under that mountain again. That’s all I wanted–all I needed. Instead, he hurt me, Lucien…”

Both of them knew that she was not just talking about what had happened in the study. By the way the corners of Lucien’s eyes crinkle in distaste for Tamlin’s actions, Feyre also knew that he understood.

The sight of it brings forgotten tears to her eyes and she allows her rage to swallow them in an overwhelming wave. She would not cry in front of Lucien. Not after what he just told her. To forgive Tamlin. Even just the thought of it makes her mouth curl in disgust.

Lucien breathes in deeply through his nose and his angry eyes look expectantly at her to continue. Feyre pauses and almost thinks that Lucien is leading her into trap, except… she feels good. Like she had been drowning for ages and she finally was able to get a breath of air. He’s making a space for her to let it out. If not with Tamlin, then… at least to him. To someone who knew them both.

Someone who witnessed the love and pain she shared with Tamlin. With someone who also loves Tamlin the way some broken part of Feyre will always love Tamlin–that same human part of her that was still there on that cold hard floor, dying. For him.

Her heart aches and her stomach lurches. While she and Rhysand shared their past of affection and betrayal for Tamlin, she never gave herself a moment to understand where those feelings were coming from. Yes, she loved Tamlin, so when she was hurt by him, she felt betrayed. Then that betrayal led to anger and a desire to hurt. Yet that was not at the heart of it all.

Some part of her knew from the moment she broke down in that room full of thorns, that she and Tamlin would never be the same. A different type of change had happened than the one she had experienced under Amarantha.

And more than her hurt, more than her anger, she grieved.

Even now, her heart grieves for the happiness and love and joy she once felt with Tamlin.

Something once so bright and beautiful, a joy that she gave all of herself to, would always, in some way, be dimmed by who both she and Tamlin now were.

[mjuuuk]

Please post your idea I read your comment on “heirs” and I’m obsessed with it now

Howdy anon! (・◡・)/

Excuse my late reply - I'm currently in bed with covid, and therefore have a very mushy brain. But yes, I have a half-baked ficlet in my drawer based on a similar scenario to that wonderful work you mentioned. I might actually go over and finish the draft if I feel better tomorrow and then maybe share it on here. (Quite nervous to post my writing since I haven't done it in a long time and English is not my first language, so things may sound a bit... wonky.🫣)

Anyhow, the whole thing basically happened because I attempted to write Dad!phael fluff (for myself, as a little treat), but then during the process, it all went down a much darker path because 1) apparently I like to make myself cry, and 2) it occurred to me just how much sweet, sweet angst there could be unleashed. I simply love to take this man like an onion and peel his layers off - one by one - to see him suffer, lol. Tav may try to kiss it better again.

Writing Dad!phael is actually quite interesting to me because his character very much revolves around themes such as heritage (in a very bitter way), ambition, pride in all forms, and a general sense of brittle self-identity. Which are all themes one is confronted with again when in the situation of continuing one's legacy and repeating the entire circle. So additionally to me just being down BAD for writing villains with kids it felt very exciting to explore the scenario. Especially when things don't go as planned. and OH boy, there's bitterness and rage stored in that man when you damage his pride and what he deems his, let me tell you.